#duke choked 😔
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realtapiocafan · 8 days ago
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i was kinda rooting for duke 💔
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p1nkshield · 1 year ago
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Clark: Tim? Tim NO! What did you just eat?
Tim with mouth full: nuffin.
Duke putting Jason in a chokehold: he ate a Reese’s peanut butter cup! :)
Jason: *choking noises*
Tim: *choking noises*
The alarm system sounds
Diana: what is happening?!?
Cass: Sorry. 😔
Steph: you don’t mind if I follow you around and ask invasive questions right? I sure hope not cause I’ll do it either way!
Flash: how are you following me?
Dick: EPIPEN!!! I’VE GOT TIM’S EPIPEN! EVERY THING IS GOING TO BE FINE!!!
Damian: *testing the sharpness of a random blade on Jason’s book* when Grayson sounds like that it means he’s close to truly freaking out. I suggest you play some Taylor Swift before that happens.
Jason: *draws gun while turning blue* my book!-*passes out*
Duke: oop! 🫢
JLA:
😱
Batman, leaving his birds in the Justice League’s care for a few days: A few rules for looking after my anklebiters are as follows: Make sure to keep anything peanut away from Tim and don’t let him have cheese. He’s allergic but he’ll try to eat it anyway. Jason needs to be given his space, and don’t interrupt him while he’s reading unless it’s absolutely necessary. Diana stands the best chance of not being shot in that case. Stephanie doesn’t like being alone for too long, and Cass shouldn’t be left alone for too long. Things happen. Duke forgets that not everyone is as sturdy as he is, especially his siblings, Clark I’m trusting you specifically to keep an eye on him. Dick can mostly take care of himself but not if he’s spending too much time taking care of the others, make sure he doesn’t overwork himself. Good luck dealing with Damian, nothing I say is going to help you there except give him some art supplies and keep the knives away from him if you can.
The JLA:
😧
B: [turns to leave and then stops, looking over his shoulder] Hnn… I suppose it’s also fair to warn you that when I called them anklebiters it wasn’t an exaggeration. They will bite if they feel threatened.
JLA:
😨
B, walking out: And if anything happens to my children on your watch, know that I will utilize all of my contingency plans.
JLA:
😰
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britcision · 2 years ago
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A second WIP Wednesday in this chapter, but gods willing and the creek don’t rise we will not see a third! I’m just trying to see if I can squish both Harley and Constantine in at the end… and the answer is probably not 😔
But, that’s what next chapter is for! And for now y’all can enjoy an excerpt from the tail end of this one! All good things must come to an end
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Yeah This Might As Well Happen
As Harley followed Bruce out of the room, Sam’s phone began buzzing dramatically in her pocket. Abandoning her quest for the thermos, she pulled it out and glanced down.
Grinned wickedly. She’d been expecting this for a while now actually.
“Aw, look, my parents saw our selfies on Twitter,” she cooed sarcastically, Manson Party Voice making a brief return.
Danny scooted just a little away from the still buzzing phone.
“So are you gonna get that?” He asked as Alfred brought him a perfectly reheated plate. “What? Oh, thanks.��
Sam shrugged, hit speakerphone, and set it on the table. They’d posted those pictures pretty much solely for the incoming reaction.
“Hey mom, what’s up?” She said sweetly, still in her public facing voice.
Her mother did not sound nearly as composed.
“SAMANTHA. Where ARE you?! What are you wearing?! Where are your clothes and WHY, in the name of all that’s good, are you anywhere near HARLEY QUINN?! Have you been kidnapped?!”
Sam rolled her eyes hard enough that Tucker faked a fatal injury across the table. She flipped him off as Tim and Duke stifled laughs.
“Yes, mother, I have been kidnapped and just answered my phone completely normally. I’m at the Waynes’,” she added quickly, before her mother could jump to conclusions.
And gave her some new conclusions to jump to instead, but who cared. Still, something seemed to be sticking in her mom’s mind.
“With Harley Quinn?” She asked suspiciously after a moment’s silence.
Which, to be fair, was kind of a good point.
“Apparently she’s a family friend? Like Grandma and Ivy,” Sam added delicately, a vicious satisfaction rising through her.
She’d gotten to say her piece at the gala yesterday and had thought she was done, but. Well. Years of restriction and so on.
She was definitely still having fun winding her parents up.
Her mom’s sharp intake of breath was clearly audible even over the phone, and then the shouting started again.
“Samantha MANSON do not even THINK about going anywhere with that woman! You have responsibilities! School! Your work! We’re coming to pick you up RIGHT NOW, and… where are your CLOTHES?!”
Alfred cleared his throat from behind them, where he’d stayed from delivering Danny’s dinner. Sam half turned and he raised a brow, inclining his head slightly.
She scooted her chair out of the way to let him get closer to the phone, waving a hand.
“If I may interject,” Alfred said calmly, not a trace that anything was even slightly amiss, “the young lady’s clothes are in the dryer at present. They will be finished shortly.”
Another long silence. Her mom probably realizing that Sam had her on speaker. And that she would still be on speaker the next time she spoke.
Finally she choked out a terse, “thank you. I do hope she has been behaving herself. We will be there to pick you up in half an hour, Sammy, and we will Have Words.”
Which Sam kinda doubted, given where the hotel was and how long it had taken Danny and Bruce to get back, but time would tell.
At least they weren’t hiring a helicopter.
It sucked to have to leave, but she’d have needed to head out soon anyway. Her flight back to university would be leaving this evening, and at least this way she could hang out with the others until her parents arrived.
No reason not to needle them more though.
“Aw but mom, I’m having such a good time hanging out with Cass,” she sighed, switching from Party to Heartfelt Woe expertly.
Down beyond Steph, Cass stifled a giggle. It clearly sent Sam’s mom into another spiral of conflicting emotions; delight, hope, ecstasy, and ongoing horror at the presence of Harley.
Who, technically, was no longer present in the room, but telling her mom that would only make her feel better, so Sam wasn’t gonna bother.
Honestly, if she wanted to run away and be an ecoterrorist with Pamela Isley, she could just ask Grandma to text her. She didn’t need kidnapping.
Still, apparently the risk of a close contact with Poison Ivy outweighed her mom’s desire to see her cozy up with the Waynes.
It’d have been real sweet if it had been a worry for Sam’s health instead of a worry about what Sam would do to other peoples’ health. The lack of trust stung, truly.
“We’ll be there in half an hour, Sammy. Get your clothes back on and say thank you for having you,” her mom warned, tone sharp and clipped.
And then hung up the phone before anyone could argue, because while she never used to listen to Sam before, she did somehow still know her. Ah well.
Sam sighed, stuffing the phone back into her borrowed pocket.
“Guess my parole has ended. I’ve gotta get back for my next semester anyway, but you have my number?” She asked Steph, looking from her back to Cass.
Both women nodded enthusiastically, Steph sighing and slumping forward into the table.
“Do you really have to go? Harley probably won’t be done with Brucie by then, you’ll miss the best part!”
But in all honesty, Sam wasn’t too upset about that. She’d made her feelings perfectly clear via thermos, and if Jason wasn’t satisfied with Bruce’s real apology she could always come back.
So she shrugged, grinning.
“Guess it’s my turn to get the video recap once it’s all over. You guys’ll film it for me, right?” She asked, looking from Danny to Tucker.
Both of whom gave her a thumbs up.
“We should make a new group chat,” Tucker mused eagerly, already pulling his phone up, “one for all of us.”
“Then we’d know which galas you were coming to!” Steph agreed at once, her own phone magically appearing in hand.
Dick snickered, leaning back in his seat.
“Said like Steph’s ever let Bruce drag her to one against her will,” he teased and Steph flipped him off.
“Hey, if you’d had the good sense not to let him adopt you you wouldn’t have to do them either,” Steph told him primly. Dick rolled his eyes.
“I’m his ward, not adopted,” he argued mostly futilely, and Sam snickered.
“And still have to go apparently. Doesn’t the ward thing end once you’re a legal adult?” She asked innocently.
Dick gave her a deadpan stare.
“Ma’am, if you want to try and wrest an orphan from the hands of Bruce Wayne you be my fucking guest, I gave up years ago.”
Which, fair. Their rifts had been legendary enough to make the circuit. She toasted him with her phone and settled back.
“Point taken. If being a cop didn’t make him give you up nothing will,” she added slyly, and Dick mimed grievous injury, slumping forward onto the table as the others laughed.
Grinning her triumph, Sam turned back to Alfred.
“So if you just show me where the laundry room is I can grab my clothes?” She offered, trying yet again to be helpful.
Being from a rich family didn’t mean having no damn manners, no matter how often it looked like it.
The old man gave her another of his extremely arch expressions, an eyebrow rising as if to question her impertinence. He had to be fucking with her.
“I shall bring your clothes to the downstairs bathroom on this hall when they are done so that you may change, Miss Manson,” he said coolly.
She’d never heard anything like it.
It didn’t sound like he was upset or offended the way people usually did when their voices iced over that sharply. Just… not an ounce of wiggle room.
Not a sliver of a hint that anything he was saying would not happen exactly as he’d decreed it. He sounded more imperious than a king, and she’d seen those.
Sam kinda imagined that’d be what Clockwork would sound like if she ever met the guy.
Duke misinterpreted her decidedly impressed stare with a wry chuckle, apparently misinterpreting her expression.
Fair, since he couldn’t know she was comparing him to the living manifestation of Time.
Well. Ghostly manifestation. Same difference.
“Miss Manson’s probably the best you’ll get out of him,” Duke said almost apologetically, grinning. “It’s gonna be that or Miss Samantha.”
Which admittedly was enough to make her turn to face him, curiosity peaked.
“What do you mean?” She asked, glancing back up at Alfred.
She couldn’t read anything but serenity in his face, but mild amusement practically radiated off him. She’d have to ask Danny what he saw in his aura.
Dick took this one too, sitting back in his seat and grinning at her.
“Alfie’s serious about the whole “proper titles and full names” thing. I’ve been trying for almost twenty years to make him call me “Dick”, and I think he’d be slower to give that up than Bruce’d be to unadopt me,” he explained cheerfully, arm tossed over the back of his chair.
Alfred treated him to a slowly raised eyebrow too.
“As you say, Master Richard,” he agreed placidly and Sam pressed her lips together on a smile.
She didn’t have to turn around to know exactly what face Danny would be making. The last thing he needed was another scary old man full naming him.
And right on cue…
“Uh… can I specifically request Mister Fenton then?” Danny asked and sure enough when she turned, yup, he even had his hand in the air like a child.
Alfred treated him to that calm stare as well.
“May I ask why, Mister Daniel?” He asked, clearly prodding despite every line of both face and posture oozing nothing but polite respect.
Danny fully flinched, which was interesting. He barely reacted whenever Vlad said his name.
Sam adjusted her opinion of Alfred along a couple “scarier than Vlad” levels.
“I have name-related trauma from another billionaire who refuses to call me anything but that,” Danny admitted sheepishly, rubbing at the back of his neck. “It’s a really not-fun association.”
“Vlad again?” Tim asked from across the table, sounding sympathetic.
Danny pulled a face at him, sort of grimacing more than a smile.
“Oh yeah. And let’s just say he also does it in super bad situations, so I’d be happier to just never hear it again.”
Sam peaked back over her shoulder at Alfred, wondering what he’d do with this news.
If Danny was gonna be a fixture in Jason’s life (and let’s be honest, he’d be a fixture in Jason’s bedroom by the end of the month), and Jason was a fixture in Alfred’s… they’d see more of each other.
Everyone knew Bruce had been basically raised by Alfred. If he was half as emotionally constipated…
But there was an actual human expression on the old man’s face now, and it looked a damn sight like shame. He cleared his throat, drawing their attention back to him.
“My apologies, Mister Fenton. Would you perhaps prefer Mister Danny?” He asked, which would have seemed completely innocuous on its own.
Dick slammed both fists into the table, making half the table burst into giggles.
“Fucking SERIOUSLY?! Is it just me! This is bullshit Alfie!” He declared dramatically.
Tim looked equally gobsmacked, jaw on the proverbial floor as he stared at Alfred, and even Steph looked put out and impressed.
Danny, deeply confused but relieved, stuck his tongue out at Dick.
“Hey, if you want another overly possessive and creepy billionaire determined to control your life you’re welcome to take him off my hands,” he declared smugly, and Sam snorted a laugh.
There was a decided devilry in young Damian’s face too, which vanished almost immediately after it appeared as the youngest spoke up.
“Honestly, Richard, you must admit that Danny’s situation is decidedly more grave than your own,” he said simply, a strong undercurrent of smugness under the words.
Tim threw both hands into the air so hard he almost tipped his chair over.
“Him too?! Come the fuck ON!” He proclaimed to the world at large as Duke snorted half a glass of water out of his nose in a choked laugh.
Tim gave him a hearty slap on the back that was probably supposed to help, the younger boy still wheezing and gasping for air, but otherwise didn’t acknowledge him.
There was clearly something of an inside joke going on, and it wasn’t exactly a complicated one.
Danny had already settled back in his seat, perfectly happy with the consternation he’d caused, and Sam joined him.
Watching the dramatics of the extended Wayne clan was even better at home than it had been at the gala. For a show this good, she’d have bought tickets.
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Damian will probably go straight back to last names, but even he has that secret Wayne ability to commit to the bit 😏
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Oh shit we lost someone today I swear @blacksea21090 used to be taggable :( that’s not a fun discovery
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ficreadergirl · 2 years ago
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Part-55 (Season 1 Finale) *Jason run to the roof breathlessly* Jason: Y/n! What happened? What's that so urgent?😳 Y/n: I can't do this anymore Jason. 😔 Jason: *all worried* Tell me what happened. 🙁 Y/n: They keep talking like that then I... 😔 Jason: Who talk? Like what? *loading his gun* Give me name love. 😠 Y/n: Dick... 😔 Jason: 😮 What did he say? Y/n: Not just him! They all keep saying we're in love! 😟 Jason: Oh... 😳 And you're sad cause you're n-- Y/n: Can we date? 😟 Jason: *gasp* W-w-what???? 😳 *blushes* Y/n: If that'll make them stop why don't we say we're dating? 😟 Jason: You mean like... faking it? 😳 Y/n: 🥺 *tries puppy eyes move which never worked before* Jason: How would we do it? (😍) Y/n: I don't know. Maybe like we did in cover mission? 🥺 Jason: 😳 *remembers how handy Y/n was* Uhm... maybe? (😍) Y/n: Really? 🥺 Jason: Yes, I think s-same as you. *tries all cool pose* (💞🥰😍) Y/n: *jumps on him and hug him* Thank you thank you thank you!!! 😄 ... *After made a deal, Jason & Y/n went to manor to tell others about started dating* Y/n: *before knocking door, stops Jason & hold his hand* We should be convincing. 😉 Jason: *gulps* Oh... okay. 🙂 (🥰) *After entering manor they see all batfam in there* Jason: Why everyone here? 🤨 Y/n: I-- Stephanie: *from across the room* AAHH!! Tim: What happened? 😮 Stephanie: They're holding hands!!! 🤩 All members: WHAT??? 😮 Bruce: *choked on his drink* 😲 Y/n: You freaked us out Steph. 🙄 Dick: *fell on his knees, starts crying* I waited for that moment so long. 😭 Jason: God... you're so embarrassing. 🙄 Barbara: So cute... 😍 Cass: Finally! 😄 Damian: It's suspicious such stubborn people like you to admit your feelings but... congrats. 😒 Duke: We all waited so much guys. You have no idea. Congrats 😃 Tim: Congrats 😄 Alfred: *looks like didn't buy it but still* Congratulations sweet children. I wish you best all time. 🙂 *After accepting all congrats fam starts drinking and partying. Jason & Y/n are on the corner, getting more drinks* Jason: We didn't have to say anything. 😄 Y/n: Damn... what the fucks wrong with Dick? Jason: He's always edgy about love stuff. 🙄 *2 of them burst into laughter* Dick: *seeing them laughing together* They're awasome! 😭😭😭 Steph: We should toast!! 😃 Barbara: Definitely agree! 😄 Duke: Then I bring Moët & Chandon!!! 😃 Bruce: Yes. This announcement deserve that much. 🙂 Cass: I'm so happy. Is it weird? 😄 Tim: No. We're all happy. 🙂 Dick: 😭 Bring juice for Damian Duke! *continues crying* Damian: And for you I guess Grayson. Tsk. 😒 *After glasses are full* Steph: Our cute new couple wanna say something? 😉 Y/n: ... no. 😐 Jason: ... 🤐 Dick: They're too shy!! 😭 Y/n: Someone stop him. 🙄 Bruce: Dick... you drink it first. C'mon. 🙄 *gives him his drink* Steph: Okay then... let's say Cheers!!! 🥂 *Everyone toast and drink their delicious champagne*
For other chapters click here
Y/n didn't even make puppy eyes 🥰 he'd say YES anyway...
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qianqiu/thousand autumns, ep 4~
i can't believe the old man's calling him 'a-qiao~' in BROAD MOONLIGHT in front of EVERYONE'S SALADS amazing bai rong, stop bullying ppl u find attractive. they'll never love u that way! unless they have. very specific relationship needs. in which case. pls carry on 😳 bai rong: call me peony~ shen qiao: no :) ur barking up the wrong tree missy. something tells me that shen qiao is not interested in ladies.... 👀 LMAO MORE PPL CALLING SHEN QIAO PRETTY i mean, they're RIGHT. it's just funny that it keeps happening apropos of nothing 🤣 STOP CHOKING THE POOR MAN JFC HE'S GOING TO SUFFOCATE ONE OF THESE DAYS uh bai rong and the hood man are having their own…..thing rn. i dont think they need shen qiao for anything, they've uh. got it covered 😳 shen qiao: u should go on without me, im dying of victorian novel disease. i mean danmei protagonist disease. chen gong: NOOO why u want to leave meeee? i was so good and loyal to u! i would certainly never betray u out of self-preservation or greed!! ;A; WAIT SO THIS GUY WANTS TO he wants to take someone else's face…..off?? like, his face………off? to take….his face…………….off? hmmmmm xueyin: maybe if i say enough hail marys this guy will leave me alone 😒 awww poor chen gong having nightmares about john travolta and nicholas cage coming after him, that's so sad 😔 shen qiao is such a sweetheart ;A; 'u didn't help all that much but here, take my money and save ur own skin' how kind ;A; yws: heh, scared off the competition >:) OH NO RUN CHEN GONG!! DONT LET THOSE ARSEHOLES GET U!!! OH GOD ;A; well that's one way to hire a new servant i guess?? OH HE'S oh he's tiger food. WAIT NO DONT BE SO COWARDLY CHEN GONG!! but i mean…..its not like shen qiao couldn't take all of these clowns with his shillelagh tied behind his back. bringing them to him to fight like fish in a barrel is actually almost helpful lmao. now he won't have to do it later! :D 'chen gong, u know how to drive right??' 'get in losers, we're going to do martial arts!!' lol duke sadface is wibbling away like 'noooo mister pls dont hurt me, i was just killing peasants for fun, im so innocent uwu' shen qiao is so understanding!! he let chen gong go ;A; what a good boy ;A; and THEN he ruined duke sadface's day!! even better! :D WH CHEN GONG NO U GOT A SECOND CHANCE U LITTLE EEJIT DON'T SPOIL IT D:< poor shen qiao, he's all alone, walking everywhere and coughi--DAMN IT YAN WUSHI!! WOULD U GET OUT OF HERE?!?! WHERE DID U EVEN COME FROM?? WHOSE HANDKERCHIEF IS THAT AND WHAT WERE U DOING WITH IT BEFOREHAND?? yws: *evil laughs flirtatiously* HOMOEROTIC FIGHTING??? YES PLEASE :D shen qiao: 'what do u want from me?' MY LAD HE WANTS TO SLEEP WITH U. DO NOT TRUST HIM, HE IS AFTER UR TENDER AND SUPPLE FLESH!! THE NIGHT SKY CANNOT COMPARE WITH THE STARS IN UR EYES!! HE WANTS U TO BE HIS WIFE!! yws: *literally sweeps shen qiao off his feet and whisks him away unconscious* 'this is nothing personal btw. i would do this for anyone. u mean absolutely nothing to me' whatever u say yan wushi....whatever u say 👀👀👀
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jockw · 8 months ago
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I'd recommend Marlboro BUT make sure to have a bottle of water with you, smoke is uncontrollable and you might inhale too much by accident to start choking - don't panic if it enters your eyes! Be careful with the lit cig at all times so you don't burn yourself as well!
Also LOL I thought Pluto would be supportive 😔 (nah he better beat the shit outta Duke lmaoooo)
Lenore: oh sure man, here. hands over a rolled cheese, lighting the tip for him
Annabel: can someone in the very least put them on rehab?
Lenore: huh? But I didn't drink yet
Annabel: you what.
wtf are my dreams
I wrote this after a dream thinking it was the fucking cure to cancer, it was 1am
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WHAT IS THAT?!?!?
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itsmeatballworld · 3 years ago
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okay round two! And thank you for helping me with the Jack/Ari refs Darke <3 Now I can move on with ease haha
~small update? Umm… I thought I posted this yesterday ?! Well 😅 I thought I was on time for once lmao better late than never
Immediately this is threatening ew who is this man ?! Nastyyyy
Ew I’m feeling all slimy ughh gross man right there
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The imagery for Boone’s eyes!?!? Wow that was beautiful!!
oh Boone I want to kick Lawerence the evil rat for you. He’s disgusting 😠
Ahh I missed Duke’s mayhem and banter. They’re so funny:
“You know my motto—” Duke shrugged before she cut him off. 
“You said it once in Tel Aviv, that doesn’t make it your motto.”
Belov I love you he’s so sassy but we know he’s just a big softie
Hey Rafa don’t worry, we’re all a little out of shape lol 😂
I know Rafa is in pain, but like “Lungs on Fire” is a dope band name ngl
“hood rat” ?? Bro. BRUH. JACK. BE CHILL.
Rafael, don’t worry, you’re my bro. We’re bros. Bros together.
Oh my god Ari Hadar is a badass. He’s *my* badass. He threw random soldiers out of the window?? Hell yes he did <3
Jack oh my god he’s crushing so hard it’s cute ahhhh
HE RAN AWAY?! Oh Jack 😅❤️
Nah, keep going Jack! Describe how cute Duke is omg this is adorable
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AHH THE MEET CUTE *flies away* they’re so cute
The smile that has glued to my face is insane lmao Duke is blushing and I am waiting for more little Duke/Jack moments 💕
The little Queen Bees are back!!!!
Oh these little ones continue to steal my heart - the little French ahh it’s so damn sweet (Yes, Princess Tiana is the best!)
Ari, hello love! I swear I am weak for him. Grumpy teddybear <3
O Dio mio! Eight soldiers ganged up on him?! Alright, I’ll push some people out of windows for him.
Be still my beating heart… I thought there was a little… flirty connection between Jesse and Ari last chapter but… I feel it again! eee! OH YEP. Even if this isn’t a thing, Ari totally has a thing for her.
Ari with Jesse:
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Duke is going to see Ghostie. I repeat. Duke is going to see Ghostie. I feel like pain and sadness is coming and I am so not ready 😔
Yeah on occasion friendships are just talking and making fun of each other in a loving way
Christopher… I swear… of all things holy in this world…
“Vodka is most important meal of day.”
I choked on my water YALL he’s too funny
CHRISTOPHER I CANNOT LMAOOOOO
“They alway say, ‘Don’t, Christopher, that bridge not high enough. Try different bridge.’ Never helpful.” 
Darke, this is comedic gold I’m snort laughing over here 😂😂
Oh god, these mini flashbacks for Boone hurt to read. She’s so strong. And the flashbacks to when they found Ghost? This is gonna hurt :(
Boone I am so sorry oh my god. 🥺🖤
Aw, Nia, my heart. Ghost and Danny? I don’t know what I’d say either. That’s so tough.
Holy crap Duke seeing Ghost was intense. Even though it was only a small scene, I had full body chills. Ahhh I’m scared for more 😭
Damn this was so good, Darke! I’m a sucker for character development so I am so pumped for more. I love this whole series and I cannot wait for more!
~gigi💕
THE SOLDIER & THE SPY
SEASON 2 : EPISODE 2 — THE MEDIC
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“Watch it,” a low voice came from beside him. Rafael whirled around, finally noticing the man that had walked up to him. The man nodded toward the group, “That one doesn’t like stares.”
“Which one?” Rafael frowned, squinting at the three.
“Agent Cavanaugh,” the man said, stiffening as they came closer, “Took out a dude three times her size a few weeks back for lookin' at her wrong.”
“Makes sense.”
“You new here?” He asked, looking over him with a raised brow.
“What gave it away?”
“Only the rookies are dumb enough to workout before training.”
“What does that make you, homie?” Rafael mirrored his look.
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