#dude we don't you have GOT to stop putting yourself in situations...

[sixofravens-reads]

been really liking Drunk on All Your Strange New Words, however work went Badly this week and now I'm really not in the mood to read about an employee trying to solve her boss's murder, even if her boss is an absolute saint compared to mine.

[number1jeonginstan]

A/N: Ngl, this was supposed to be a drabble… Anyway, I was listening to 2nd gen K-pop while listening to this, which is so counterintuitive because I was vibing to Gee while writing some of the craziest smut I’ve written in a while. Anyways, hope y’all enjoy <333 Answers 🥟 anon's request!

Minors don't interact, 18+

Pairing: Roomate Perv!Hyunjin x Perv!afab Reader

WC: 3k (oh!)

Warnings: Pervy reader and Jinnie, unprotected sex, m!masturbation, f!masturbation, use of vibrator, call reader names (whore, slut, good girl, ect…)

Your window cracked ever so slightly, allowing you to feel the spring breeze, but not enough to allow bugs and pollen to infiltrate your room. Your clock in the corner of your room was clicking away as the seconds passed. The only thing on your mind was what you were going to order for dinner. Before you could even shout out to your roommate, asking him what he wanted to eat, he barged into your room. The door ricocheted off the stopper causing you to look up. 

“What do you want to eat Hwang?” you asked, turning around so your back was touching your bed. He knew it was your week to order food, but that wasn’t what he was here for. “Just get whatever, I’m not picky”

Before he could even continue, you cut him off, stopping him mid-sentence, his mouth hung open.

“Dude, last time you said that you threw a 45-minute tantrum of how ‘it wasn’t what you wanted’ and made me order a whole separate dish, only for you to eat mine because you were hungry and didn’t want to wait that long.”

“Hey, if you got it right the first time, we wouldn’t have been in that situation” he huffed, jumping on your bed, causing you to lift a bit. 

He was wearing a black hoodie and some gray sweatpants, per usual. His new eyebrow piercing was right in your face as you turned to him. He chuckled, stealing your phone, and looking through the options to eat from. 

Turning around so your breasts were pushed against your bed. They were slightly spilling out from your tanktop, but it was too warm to care. You didn’t understand how your friend wasn’t burning up in his outfit, but you didn’t care enough to ask. 

“So, what are we getting to eat” you asked, trying to take your phone back from his grasp, but he stopped you. 

Damn him and his weirdly long fingers that no man should have. “I was thinking, beer and chicken? It’s simple enough and we still have some cans left over so I won’t drain your bank account” he grinned. 

You simply nodded, telling him to order it while you went to the bathroom. What you didn’t know was that wasn’t all Hyunjin did. A couple of weeks ago, when he asked to borrow your phone to send pictures of himself from a party the two of you attended with the rest of your friends, he saw pictures you took of yourself, in the cutest set he’s ever seen. 

He knows that he constantly sees you in your short clothes all the time, but something about you wearing a pink lacy set had him weak in his knees. He came twice just thinking about it, the image burned into the back of his retinas. 

He needed to see it again, so while you were doing your nighttime skincare routine, he went through your phone trying to find the photo. What he didn’t expect was there to be multiple angles and even multiple sets. He felt his cock harden in his pants, trying not to groan at the sight of you in barely anything. 

He quickly took out his phone from his hoodie pocket, making sure that you weren’t out yet, and airdropped himself the photos, so there wasn’t any evidence of what he was doing. 

He put his phone back in his pocket and exited out of your photos app just in time. You came out of the bathroom, your hair pushed back with a bunny hair band, whilst tossing one to him. “Come on, you know the drill” you giggled as he took off his hoodie, revealing his toned stomach and navel piercing.

He had gotten it with his eyebrow piercing after Jisung had dared him to. You were there for the entire thing, not expecting him to actually go through with it, but for some reason he did. It looked good though, so you weren’t going to complain. 

He eventually put on the headband, after a minute of his dramatic sighs and protests. You knew he could never say no to you. You giggled at him, realizing how silly you both looked, but not complaining. 

You pulled at him, trying to drag him off your bed so the two of you could watch a movie in the comfort of your living room. 

The layout of your apartment was a bit off. Your rooms were right next to each other, and you both had your own bathrooms and walk-in closet. Which was nice, especially due to how much money the two of you spent on clothes. 

Your living room was much smaller than others, connecting to your kitchen, but the two of you didn’t complain. It was homey and perfect for the two of you, and for the rest of your friends whenever they came over for your week’s movie night. 

You both finally made it to the living room after Jinnie complained that “your bed is too comfortable” and “How am I supposed to leave if Sergent Bingo doesn’t want me to?” 

You giggled at that, knowing how much he loved the stuffed animal that lived on your bed that he had won for you at the fair the first year of living together. 

“I think he will live, plus we can bring him with us if it means so much to you!” 

He just sighed as he got up, wrapping his arms around the stuffed bear and muttering about how Bingo didn’t appreciate being moved from his habitat. 

“You are such a big baby” you giggled, sitting on the couch next to him, wrapping a blanket around your body as you attempted to find something for the two of you to watch. 

“Am not” 

“Are too”  

Before he could rebuttal, the doorbell rang, causing you both to turn your heads. “Foods here” You got up, throwing the blanket at his face, laughing at his shocked expression. 

You got the food from the delivery man, thanking him for walking up all the steps to your apartment. “What did you order again?” you yelled from the kitchen, getting paper plates and beer cans from the fridge. 

“I got those cheese balls that you always fawn over, then just original and galbi because we both like that” 

You got back to your seat, cracking open one of the cans of beer as the two of you began to watch a K-drama that Seungmin had recommended, Move To Heaven.

Two episodes in, and the two of you were sobbing, the food was gone, and the beers that were previously in your hands were splayed across the table. 

“I can’t believe that happened to him, what did he do to deserve this?” you sobbed, hugged Hyunjin who was also on the verge of tears. 

“I mean, who kills them off the first episode, like he did not need that happening to him” he said, hugging you back. 

“I think that’s enough for today,” you said, wiping the tears off your face as you turned off the TV. Hyunjin threw away all the boxes and plates as you collected the blankets, folding them and putting them away in the storage closet next to the living room. 

“Good night, sleep tight!” you said to Hyunjin as he began walking to his room. He bid you a good night as well, laughing at the way you were holding Sergent Bingo above your head as you entered your room. 

Little did either of you know that you were in fact not sleeping tight.

You had taken out the vibrator your friend had gifted to you for your birthday, making sure it was fully charged before pressing it against your clit. It was small, but it did the job perfectly, always leaving you satisfied. 

You usually never got off when Hyunjin was home, but you had been so pent up for the last month, that you just had to do something about it. You couldn’t wait any longer, you removed your shorts and underwear in one go and began to tease your slit. 

You could feel the cool air hitting your legs and cunt, the small hairs on your legs sticking up at the sensation, but you ignored it, the only thing on your mind being Hyunjin. 

The way he looked today, the way he smelt. You would think a grown man wearing a bunny headband couldn’t be hot, but you were wrong. The way he licked his fingers, trying to get the sauce off them, all you could imagine if that was how he would eat you out.

Would he suck on your clit like he did his fingers, how would they feel inside you? You thought back to his grey sweatpants, the way you could see the imprint of his dick against them, causing you to rub your thighs in front of him. You prayed that he didn’t see you, but if he did would he help you?

You could feel yourself getting wetter at every passing moment, your finger rubbing against your clit. It wasn’t enough though, you needed more stimulation or else you wouldn’t be able to get anywhere. 

You turned on your vibrator, allowing the low hum of it to overtake your room. You began to slowly press it against your clit, low moans escaping your lips as you press it harder onto yourself. You tried to keep quiet, but it felt so fucking good, that you didn’t notice the moans escaping your lips. 

But Hyunjin noticed, he could hear each moan escaping your lips. He was devouring each one like it was a hymn. He could feel his cock getting harder, straining against his boxers and sweats, it isn’t weird that he’s hearing you right?

If he just happens to jerk off right now, it wouldn’t be weird, right? He just happened to feel the need to get off at the same time as you. It wasn’t your moans that were making him this hard. 

That’s what he kept telling himself as he pulled his cock out of his boxers and sweats. He began to languidly stroke his cock to the sounds of your moans, using the pre-cum leaking from his tip as lube. 

He slowly pulled out his phone, looking at the pictures that he had airdropped himself earlier. Were you wearing the set you had in the picture, were you lying down like this, all pretty with your legs spread out just for him? 

Would you be able to take his cock, or would you whine that it’s too much, how your tight little cunt couldn’t take it? 

His body shivered as he could feel himself getting closer, but it all stopped when he heard another broken moan escape your lips.

“Jinnie-ah” 

He couldn’t believe it, you weren’t moaning his name. It was just his imagination until he heard it again. The whimper that escaped your lips as you moaned out his name. 

“Hyunjin, fuckkk” 

His body went rigid, he quickly got up, dressed himself, and pressed his ear against your shared wall. He needed to hear you say his name again. He had to make sure it was his name you were moaning. 

You couldn’t cum, it wasn’t enough, no matter how much you tried. You were so pent up, you needed to cum, but you just couldn’t, so you began crying. Tears streamed down your face as you tried to fuck yourself with your fingers as your vibrator was still attacking your clit, but it wasn’t enough. 

That was til you heard your door creak open, there you saw Hyunjin. You tried to cover your body as fast as you could, but he didn’t let you, ripping your blanket off your body, leaving you in just your tank top. 

“Such a fucking whore, moaning my name. You were just begging for me to hear you, right baby? Poor little thing can’t cum by herself, she needs my fingers, doesn’t she?”  

You just nodded, no longer feeling ashamed, feeling the need to cum. “It’s okay baby, I’m here to help. Sometimes whores can’t get off by themselves, that’s why you need me”

He got on top of you, his knees pressed into your bed, trapping your thighs between them. He kissed your lips, nibbling at your bottom lip before moving his lips down to your neck, sucking at your skin. 

“Who do you need baby?” he asked, removing his lips from your neck, running his finger against your slit, feeling how wet you were.

“Need you” you whined underneath him as his finger pressed against your clit. “Then why were you using this instead of coming to me?” he asked, holding up your vibrator. 

“Is this better than me?” he asked, pressing his finger against your clit, causing you to moan. “Come on baby, you can’t be this dumb?” He asked you again, slapping your face slightly, sticking his thumb in your mouth, causing you to suck. 

“It’s okay, I can make you cum like the whore you are” he chuckled before taking his finger out of your mouth and began to finger your hole. “Fuck you are so tight” 

“Mhm, only for you Jinnie” you moaned as he began to thrust his fingers faster into you, adding another one. Your walls were clenching around him. “Look at you, so close to cumming. Can’t believe you were using this flimsy little thing. Should we see if it really works?” 

Before you could even comprehend what was going on, he turned on your vibrator, pressing it against your clit. 

“FUCK!” you moaned, you felt like you were so close to cumming, it only took Hyunjin another curl of his fingers in your cunt to make you cum around his fingers. Your body was convulsing around him, your thighs enclasping his hands. 

“Ah ah, you are going to take my cock baby. Why do I think I prepped you? Moaning my name like the fucking slut you are. You are the one who caused this” he whispered into your ear while dragging your hand to his pants, allowing you to feel how hard his cock was for you.

He flipped you around while pulling down his own boxers and sweats, throwing them somewhere in your room. You took a look behind you to see his cock, and your jaw dropped. He was huge in length, not as much in girth, but his cock was so pretty. 

His tip was pink and leaking precum while he had multiple veins running alongside his cock. “How is that going to fit?” you whimpered, “Don’t worry, I’ll make it fit baby.” 

He slapped his cock on your ass before sliding the tip along your slit, causing you to moan. He lifted you by your hair, wrapping it around his hand, causing you to cry at the sharp sting. “Look at my cock baby, fuck, have never felt this fucking hard in my life. You are gonna make me feel good aren’t you baby? Going to take my cock like the good girl you are” 

“Yes, gonna take your cock, gonna take it so well” you whimpered as he pushed the tip inside of you. 

“Feels so good” you moaned as he let go of your hair, your head loling on the side of your pillow. 

“Fuck baby, barely have the tip in and you are so fucking tight. Can’t wait til I make you mine” 

He slowly began to thrust his cock into you, adding an inch at a time. But as your walls clenched around him, he lost all of his patience, thrusting his cock deep inside of you.  

He slowly took his cock out of you, leaving only the tip in, only to thrust back into you with full force. 

“You planned this didn’t you?” he asked, as he continued to pound into you. Your face was deep in your pillows, your voice muffled, so he yanked at your hair, causing you to moan.

“Speak when you are spoken you slut” he slapped your ass, causing you to moan. “You planned this didn’t you, the photos of you in your camera roll. You moaning my name so loud the entire floor could you” 

“What if I did?” you said giggling. This only enraged him more, causing him to thrust into you faster. Your hair was still in his hand, your back arched against his chest.  “Such a fucking whore, making me think I was a pervert when you orchestrated everything.” 

“Just wanted you, are you that mad at me” you whimpered as he took one of his hands to rub your clit. 

“I could never be mad at you baby, you know that” he kissed your neck before letting your hair go, your face falling back into the pillows. He lifted your hips a bit higher, causing you to scream out his name, which was fortunately muffled by the pillows underneath you. 

“I can feel you baby,” he said, feeling the way your walls were clamping his cock “cum for me baby, cum on my cock and take my cum like you’ve always wanted to” he said, kissing your back. 

That was all you needed to cum on his cock, he used one of his hands to muffle your screams, not wanting to wake everyone up. It didn’t end there though, he continued to rut into you, chasing his own high. 

“Please Jinnie, too much can’t take it anymore” you whimpered underneath him, but that didn’t stop him. He needed to cum, he needed to mark you as his. “Fuck baby, you can take it, just a little more there we go” 

He came with a moan, filling you up with cum and making you squirm underneath him. He kissed your lips before falling next to you, pushing the hair out of your face.

“I hope that was okay,” he said, looking at you a bit ashamed. 

“Okay? That was amazing, I think that’s the hardest I’ve ever cum in my life” you said, kissing his lips. “The only thing I think is not okay is Sergent Bingo, his poor innocent eyes” which caused you both you laugh. You both wrapped your arms around one another, falling asleep in each other’s embrace.

[indecenthoney]

"The Munchies"

---------------------------------------

Have you ever had that one friend who acts like a completely different person after consuming alcohol? I sort of do. She's a tad bit on the shy side. Up until you present her with some candy. Her eyes would literally glow up at the sight. Not to mention, she becomes the clingiest, most loveable thing. I may be to blame for encouraging such behaviors, but how could I not? I could never ever get another reaction out of her if I wanted to. Completely deadpan, with a cold demeanor. It's enough to break a man's heart. Which brings me to my current situation. I may have a little crush on her. Or well a relatively big one. I've been meaning to ask her out in a good mood, but as I mentioned I could never really get that reaction. I wanted to find some way to help her relax a bit without needing the candies. I don't know. I wanted her to like me for me, you know?

"Hey... How long are you going to be working on that? It wouldn't kill you to take a break, you know? Uhuh... Dude! Let's hang out... This project isn't due till what... Two weeks from now... We can totally take our time... We're already halfway through... So let's go play something! Me? What does it look like I'm doing? I'm hugging you... I'm not going to stop hugging you until you follow me to play video games... I know you hate it... That's why I'm hugging you, silly... Either way, it's a win-win for me... Aw... and here I thought I'd get to hug you for an hour or two? Good choice... C'mon, I'll show you to my room..."

On my way to my room, I found her eye-ing out my kitchen. It was pretty obvious what her intentions were. I wasn't really sure either what snacks I had lying around in there, but I sent her off to my room to choose a game while I scrounged around for something for her to eat.

"Do you want something sweet? I thought so... I'll see what I can do... Uhuh... Just head down the hall, to the right... Make yourself comfortable!"

It was inevitable. Then again, I guess I'd rather give her what she wanted rather than see her disappointed. You should have seen me. I was a man on a mission trying to find those snacks. Eventually, I realized that there wasn't any lying around and I had to bear seeing her sad. Is it a reaction? Yes. Is it a good one? No. I took my time cleaning up and figuring out what to tell her. On my way down, I found myself stopping at the door after hearing some "noises". At first, I assumed it was something coming from the television. With my curiosity piqued, I barged in without a second thought. Unfortunately, this put me in a compromising situation. Okay, I know it's my house. But I should know better than to walk in without a warning. My friend was there. Of course, she was. Where else would she be? You know, I just didn't expect her to be on my pillow. Rubbing herself against it. I stood in shock as she mindlessly grinded herself not paying any mind to me. it was like she was in a sort of trance.

"Hey! W-woah... Uhm... What the fuck are you doing? Hahaha... uhm... F-fuck..."

I wasn't entirely sure what to do especially since there wasn't anything to play off on. She was grinding away. No response. But upon closer inspection, there were wrappers scattered on the floor and bed. The shy little thing got herself high from consuming the edibles placed on the tableside near my bed. I quickly rushed over to stop her. Placing my hands around her hips to keep her down. Only whimpers and tears were replaced with the sudden stop.

"H-hey... Shhh... Shhhh it's okay... I'm sorry... Ugh fuck... What am I supposed to do with you? Uhm... Let's see... H-hey! C'mon... It's okay... Why are you still crying? You can rub... It's okay... Stop crying, okay? I'm sorry for stopping you... "

After consuming this many brownies, I doubt she'd be able to speak. I'm surprised she was still even functioning at this point. I didn't expect her to have such a drastic personality change after a few brownies. She wouldn't stop crying. I soon realized her trying to move her hips faster. I guess the stimulation wasn't enough to satisfy her. Luckily, I had an idea. Not to fulfill my own selfish desires, but to help a friend out. I mean, what was I supposed to do? Leave her a whimpering sobby mess?

"I-it's okay... Just for a moment... Sit here... I know... I know it hurts... But we'll get it settled in a bit... You just have to be a good girl and listen, okay? That's it... Such a good girl... Does it feel good when I rub you there? Hm? I know it's hard to talk... Just nod your head... Yeah? Ah no... No moving your hips... If you wanna feel good then you'll have to listen, don't you? That's it... Nice and easy... Keep those legs spread for me, hun... Such a pretty lady... So needy... So wet... I'm only rubbing your clit and you're just leaking... Why don't we take these off, huh? We wouldn't want to ruin your panties more than we already have... Shhh... It's okay I'm just taking these off and we'll continue... I'll give a little more than just rubbing... I promise... Oh fuck... A literal bitch in heat... Gonna slide a finger in, okay? Oh? Well, don't you fit perfectly around my fingers... So tight... Mm... What pretty little noises you have... There's no need to be shy... It's okay to feel good..."

Slowly digging away into her deepest parts causing her to spasm. Choking on her moans as the pleasure increases. Her hands clasped around my forearm. A sign informing me that she's close to the edge. Slowing down my pace even more to keep from finishing too quickly. Soft slow strokes. My middle finger moving in and along her slit. A flick at her clit once at the top. Sending a shockwave of spasms throughout her body. I knew it was about time to give her a break. Running my fingers along her body; lifting her shirt. My hands finding their way up her bra. Running circles around her perky breasts. Pinching. Poking. Tugging.

"Hm? You're going to have to use your words... I'm not going to be able to understand you if all you do is moan and whimper... Please? You wanna cum? What's the magic word? Fine... In a bit... I'm still having my fun... Oh? Sensitive there, are we? Be good and I'll give you your reward... Pretty little thing... Does it feel good? Uhuh yeah? Sound so fucking stupid when I touch you here... Are you going to cum just from your nipples being played with? No cuz that would be pathetic, wouldn't it? Almost there, hun... Keep it up... You're doing such a good job for me..."

Hands appreciating every nook and cranny of her body. Tempting her but never really touching the place that needs it the most. Lips pressed. Tongues rolled. A dance of oral pleasure. The taste of brownies lingered on my tongue. How many wrappers were there? I wouldn't be surprised if I got high from tasting her lips. If it were my choice, I would spend an eternity in this bliss. However, she quickly made her needs known. Whimpers and tears once flood the room. Her inability to stay still grew restless as I toyed with her body. One final kiss and I was on my knees. Pulling her hips to the edge of the bed. The softness of her thighs welcomed my cheeks with each kiss. I start to salivate; eager to run my tongue along the drippy mess I've made. In my own trance, I started eating away at her. A different type of hunger had filled me. Something that couldn't be satiated so easily. I wanted her to quake my touch. Moan at the very thought of me. Get wet at every little word I mutter as I adore her perfection.

"Mmph... Fuck... you taste so good, hun... Mmm... I know... I know... I shouldn't talk with my mouth full... I can't help it... You're just too damn pretty right now..."

Her grip tightens; pulling my head into her. Her morality leaking between her legs as I lapped my tongue into her depths. A wave after wave of orgasms causes her to shake. Even with my tongue gently finding its way around her clit, it brings her to the edge over and over. I found pleasure in serving her. With cock in hand, I stroked myself to completion. Even then it was barely enough to fill that hunger. Grabbing her wrists I stood above her; pinning down her arms before placing my cock against the opening of her pussy. Feeling her squirm on the tip. Watching her eyes roll back as the length of cock disappears into her.

"Hey hey... Shush... You're doing such a great job... Mhm... I know you came... I'm sorry, sweetie... Just a little longer, you can take it... All you have to do is stay still and be pretty, okay? Can you do that for me, hun? Mhm... Good girl... Not a single thought behind those pretty eyes, huh? That's it... Cum as you please... I'm not stopping you..."

Hands pinned above her head as I rut into her in the most animalistic, primal way. Enjoying every bit of her reactions as I pump my cum back into her. Even as she drifts off to sleep, I found myself using her and using her. Satiating my hunger. I was unsure of how things would play out tomorrow, so I wanted to enjoy myself while it lasted. Making my mark. Filling her to the brim. I wore myself out. But even then, I wanted to use her. Finger the very holes I came in. Fucking her with my fingers to keep the cum from leaking. Never wanting this happiness to end.

"Oh! You're awake... What happened? Well... You kinda nodded off while I was looking for snacks... You okay? A dream? You were moving a lot during it... but I didn't wanna wake you from your nap... Sore? Hm... You're probably just hungry... Here... I found some brownies... It's really good... You should try some!"

--------------------------------------------------------

Take a bite,

Honey

[onim5]

🔥How did it happen?!🔥

Portgas D. Ace x reader

Warning: Swearing.

----------------------------------------

🔥 How did it happen? Did you let this happen? What are you going to do now? So many questions and no answers.

🔥 You sighed as you looked at his handcuffed wrist. And then at you're handcuffed wrist.

🔥 Sea prism stone handcuffs, an unconscious person in your lap, and no key. Yup, the situation was stupid.

🔥 Your idiot captain had been causing trouble for the Whitebeard pirates so it shouldn't have come as such a surprise when one of them showed up on your ship.

🔥 What did come as an even bigger surprise was when you had managed to trap him in sea prism stone handcuffs and then have a crewmate knock him down, causing the other end of the cuffs to trap you.

🔥 Then the shittiest surprise of all, was when the captain ordered your crewmates to throw 'you' overboard with him. Ha ha great.

🔥 Yup if this small yellow nice boat hadn't come, you and this guy would have drowned. A one-man boat was it though.

🔥 Yup so here you were, an unconscious heavy pirate in your lap on a small one-man boat. What a great situation. Oh, and look, in the distance, your old ship is sailing away. At least they aren't firing cannonballs at you two.  

🔥 "I hated them all anyway." You muttered as you leaned your head on the dude's back. He sure was warm for a completely drenched guy, so you pressed yourself on him. Since you have gotten cold from the swim trip.

🔥After you got a little warmer you put up the sail, oh it sounds so easy (It fucking wasn't!)

🔥Now for everyone wondering. Why don't you just cut off his hand? He's cute.                                         "It's a real reason!!!"

🔥When Ace woke up he felt weak, oh and look someone was in his lap. HUH!!!!

🔥When you were done explaining to this weakened devil fruit user 'what happened' He told you to follow a vivre card that he tried to give you. "No fucking way I give you the advantage and put myself in front of a fucking yonko!"

🔥After a long trip you found an island. Ace let you drag him along. Just because he, one felt bad since you been ditched in such a cruel way. Two you could have cut off his wrist and left him to drown. 'Wait why didn't you?'

🔥When he asked you simply answered. "I'm not a fucking emotionless villain."

🔥 It was hard to move around with Ace around your wrist. 🥲 And he too got tired and began carrying you. 😳 "This is much faster, so what are we even gonna do here?"

🔥 You did not answer the question, so Ace began telling you about the amazing Whitebeard pirates.

🔥 Your mouth fell agape as you realized Ace had started flirting. But what was worse was that it worked. He said stuff like, "Is it just me or did we get trapped by the heart too?"

🔥Why did he flirt, well . . . . . He was carrying you around and he couldn't help it. And it was pretty fun to see you blush.

🔥 He's gonna get it now. "Deactivate you're devil fruit, you're gonna blind me." You said covering your eyes with the other hand. "But I can't even use my devil fruit abilities?" Ace stated confused. "Oh sorry, I mistook your handsome face for a gentle flame."

🔥 Look who's blushing now. (^3^)/

🔥 It was hard to stop after that, you both just loved compliments.

🔥 You and Ace maneged to get to a town. And after finding a hairpin from some random lady you manege to open the lock.

🔥 But then the awkward reality came. "Did you actually mean all you said?" You both asked at the same time. "Yes."

- And that's how you stop being single. Ace explained to the other pirates. 👍

Masterlist

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if I officially reported a coworker for indirectly interacting with me?

♊️ to recognize.

My coworker Frieda and I used to be friends but we didn't mesh together and we had the ugliest friend break up ever. What happened between us irrelevant to this AITA but both of us were assholes to each other but the people following our situation closely are telling me she's much worse, and I think so too. Some people even told me I'm NTA but could've handled it better.

We agreed to stop talking to each other and she was the one who's most vocal about not wanting to interact with me, but, she continued to harass me every once in a while, literally taking away the tools from me by force while I'm still using them (we are supposed to use them in turns), getting in my personal space for no reason to the point of 'accidentally' brushing her arm against mine, and literally trying to make me late to go home.

That last bit was was my last straw and I unofficially reported her to the manager, she got a stern warning to stay away from me but she wasn't punished. The manager told me stay away from her as well and (unofficially) report her again if she attempts anything.

Now, my Ex friend doesn't do anything terrible to me, except she keeps keeps commenting to other coworkers on the things I say. She doesn't say bad things, but she has no right to include herself in my conversations.

Example:

A coworker I'm friendly with mentioned her upcoming birthday, I was busy with work so I didn't say anything, but everyone else wished her a happy birthday.

She turned to me, since I was the only one who hadn't wished her a happy birthday yet and was like "hey OP, my birthday is next Thursday!"

I said "oh alright I'm bringing a gift for you."

She said anything, then Frieda freaking turns to her and says "yep, gifts are the most important!"

Dude. Like she didn't even bring it up because she was considering asking the coworker about what kind of gift she wants or anything, she just said it because I did.

Like, if it was just a one time thing I wouldn't care, but she's doing this often, like it feels she's purposely trying to talk to me in a roundabout way. It happening almost in daily basis.

Another example if you don't believe me, everyone was talking about coffee. Like a whole conversation about it. When one coworker commented he doesn't like coffee, I asked him if he likes tea and he said yes, then she chimes in and asks him how he likes his tea? Girl ya'll are talking about coffee leave me alone. Stop including yourself in my conversations.

One of the reasons I'm upset about this is that Frieda is a social butterfly while I'm socially awkward. I'm having a hard time interacting with coworkers as is, it feels as if she's constantly stealing the attention away from me and silencing me. I know she won't like it if I do the same thing to her and won't try, and I always butt out whenever she's talking to other coworkers. It's hard talking to the coworker that's sitting next to me if she's literally coming from across the room to talk to them, which is not wrong in itself nor do I think she's purposely doing it with the intention to steal them away from me, but it makes me struggling to talk to everyone else. But her literally butting in my conversation is the thing I'm actually upset about and what I plan to report her for.

Now, I know my manager told me to tell her if Frieda bothers me again, however, I don't want to do that. I know my manager is trying to be fair but she friendly with Frieda and won't actually punish her because it's unofficial and she'll just talk to her about it, it won't be satisfying to me which is why I'm thinking of directly going to HR and reporting.

By the way, HR doesn't have the power to fire her easily so it's not like I'm putting her in actual immediate risk, but an official complaint about her will be stuck in her profile and as per the law, once she get 3 official warnings she can be fired. I'm not exactly sure, but I think another coworker has reported her already for making a joke in poor taste so this will most likely be the second warning. She often gets in fights with people so I do think it's only a matter of time of it happening. I never get in fights myself but man does she really push people's buttons. In the span of 1 year at work she has already fought with 7 coworkers already (the one I know about anyway, could be more since I have no idea what she up to these days)

I feel I might be TA because I might be overreacting, as she's just talking to other people but I still want to report her. I'm making documentation already but debating whether I should do it or not. WIBTA if I report her?

What are these acronyms?

[ynscrazylife]

Eek! Yay!

So since I'm just a few episodes ahead I'm just going to keep it kind of vague. What do you think of a younger sister whose just a little younger than Sam? Dean practically raising her and so they're super close but when Sam leaves for college their dad decides that maybe the hunter life isn't the best for his daughter so he leaves her behind with a family friend. Imagine the angst and abandonment issues (def not me) like after Dean picks up Sam he tracks down his younger sister he hasn't seen in like a year and she just never gave up hunting so now she's actually pretty good at it? Can you imagine how awkward that reunion would be?? Maybe they're hunting down a monster together or something??

Sorry, this isn't exactly a scenario so much as my own personal idea for a backstory? I don't know but if you like it or you want something else let me know cause there's tons more that are similar or completely different from this one 😏

Great minds think alike cause I kinda had an idea in mind where Dean and Sam meet up with their sister through a hunt! This is a little different than what you put in the ask tho, so I hope that’s alright. I also feel like there is enough for a part 2 so I could end up adding to this! And this would be a fun OC concept to make 👀 if anyone wants that.

a reunion for the ages (dean & sam winchester x sister!reader)

The thing that makes this entire situation, what your life has become, so backwards and twisted is that at first, you didn’t actually want to hunt. You wanted to go to college, like Sam. You weren’t even that much younger than him and in his first year, he seemed to love it. But when your time rolled around, you didn’t get into Stanford.

Yes, there were other colleges that accepted you, but you really wanted to be with your big brother. The rejection hit you hard and as a result (and needing a distraction), you threw yourself into hunting. You became careless and reckless and instead of talking with you about it, your dad made a decision for you: that you weren’t cut out for hunting. He left you and took Dean with him.

When Dean realized what was going on, he of course tried to stop his dad. They got into a pretty bad fight over it. But he was a stubborn man and he refused to go back for you. Dean tried calling you, but thinking that he was in on it with Dad, you refused to pick up. You kept in touch with Sam for a little while, but the both of you got busy as time went on, and the weekly calls stopped.

A few years later, Dean and Sam have hit the road, intent on finding Dad. The backseat of the Impala, which was usually occupied by you, is empty.

“I thought if I gave you some time you might bring it up yourself, but dude, are we picking up Y/N or not?” Sam asks finally, no longer wanting to beat around the bush about it. He knows about Dad and Dean leaving you behind, but assumes that at some point you would’ve made up with them.

“She shouldn’t be involved in this,” Dean says resolutely, keeping his eye on the road ahead, firmly gripping the steering wheel.

“You had no problem involving me in this,” Sam points out, trying not to sound upset over it. There was a small part of him that wonders if he hadn’t gone with Dean, would he’ve been able to save Jess? Still, he knows that he went willingly, and that he could’ve said no.

“You know how to hunt and fight. The last time I saw Y/N hunt . . . Trust me, it didn’t go well,” Dean mutters, definitely not in the mood to have this conversation.

“Shouldn’t we at least let her know what’s going on with Dad?” Sam suggests, now more curious about what happened between you and Dean and Dad. You never gave many details about it.

“Have at it, if she’ll pick up,” Dean says, throwing one hand in the air. He’s trying to play it off as if he doesn’t care, but he does. He misses you.

Sam tries but, as Dean predicted, you don’t answer. Over the next couple days, they get wrapped up into a case where they suspect an angry ghost is the perpetrator, going after the people that they blame for their death. Thankfully they’re able to find the object that the ghost is attached to, a music box. What they don’t expect, however, is to be dealing with a ghost possessing someone. It’s a chef, to be exact, which leads them to their current situation: fighting the possessed chef in his kitchen.

“Sam, a little help here?!” Dean yells, fist-fighting the enraged chef, who looks a little ridiculous in his white chef’s hat.

“I don’t have any iron! Or salt!” Sam yells back, rummaging through his bag in search of something, anything, that might help.

Suddenly, someone runs into the room from behind the guy and jumps on his back. It’s a woman, with a bat in her hand. As the guy stumbles back, she hits him in the head repeatedly, until the guy throws her off his back and onto the table. The woman smacks him again with the bat, then gets salt from out of her pocket, and throws it at him. The ghost is expelled from his body and he drops to the floor.

Dean and Sam exchange looks, wondering who the hell she is.

The ghost isn’t done yet, though. It lifts the woman into the air and lets her drop onto the table, which cracks. She falls onto the floor and the ghost lunges for her, disappearing and now possessing her. Dean and Sam prepare themselves for another fight, only to both freeze when the woman stands up and turns around.

It’s their sister. Their little sister, who’s meant to be enjoying a hunt-free life. There’s a gash on her forehead which is leaking blood down her face and within seconds, she’s lunging at Sam.

He falls back, not sure what to do. If this were anyone else being possessed, he’d fight back, but he doesn’t want to hurt you.

“Y/N, Y/N, c’mon!” He yells, doing his best to dodge your hits.

Dean runs around and grabs you in a bear-hug, pinning your arms to your sides. He drags you back, even as you thrash. “Get some salt, Sam!” He says, struggling to manage you.

“I told you, I don’t have any!” Sam repeats, frustrated.

“It’s a KITCHEN!” Dean practically screams.

While Sam looks for salt, you twist out of Dean’s arms. The two of you go at it but eventually, Dean’s able to get you down on the ground. He feels bad about pressing his knee on your abdomen, holding your arms down, but he has to keep you there.

“I found a salt shaker,” Sam says, kneeling down by your head. “We gotta destroy the music box, though, before the ghost possesses one of us.”

“Alright, do it, but give me the salt,” Dean says, moving your arms above your head and holding your wrists with one hand. With his other, he takes the salt and has to pry your jaw open to pour the salt in your mouth.

You cough and splutter, but Dean forces your mouth to close until you’ve swallowed the salt. Finally, the ghost leaves your body. Dean throws the salt shaker to Sam, who salts the music box before chucking it into the oven.

“Alright, Y/N, we gotta go,” Dean says, throwing one of your arms over his shoulders and pulling you to your feet.

All you can do is lean against him and mumble your brother’s name, your head spinning.

Sam grabs the chef and the four of you stumble out the back exit. Sam lays the chef on the ground and calls the fire department, then you guys make your getaway in Dean’s car.

“I’m staying with her,” Sam decides, sitting in the backseat with you while Dean starts to drive.

“Sam . . . Dean? What’re you doing here?” You ask as Sam tends to your head with the first aid kit that they keep in the car. You can hardly believe that you’re really with your brothers again.

“Could ask you the same question, kid. Sammy and I were hunting that ghost,” Dean says, speeding up a little to get to the motel faster.

“So was I,” you say. Your head feels far too heavy to hold up on your own right now so you let it lean against Sam’s shoulder.

“What?” The brothers ask in unison. They weren’t sure what answer they were expecting but it wasn’t that.

“Been hunting ever since you and Dad left, Dean,” you tell them. Even though you are in pain, you don’t miss the beat of silence that follows.

“You were pretty good back there,” Sam compliments, ruffling your hair a bit. With your head wound bandaged up, he slings his arm around you for the rest of the drive.

Dean is quiet, his fingers thumping against the steering wheel, until the three of you arrive at the motel. Sam helps you out and lays you down on his bed. “I’ll be right back, gonna get you an ice pack,” he says, going to the mini ridge.

Dean sits across from you on his own bed, sighing. “How are you feeling?” He asks.

“Like I got thrown onto a table . . . Oh wait, I did,” you answer sarcastically, mustering up a smile.

Sam returns, giving you the ice pack and then sitting next to Dean. He glances between his siblings, sensing some tension. “Do you two need to . . . Talk or something?” He asks.

“You’ve really been hunting this whole time?” Dean asks you, still in a bit of disbelief.

You nod. “I got my act together after Dad . . . After you and Dad left. I wanted to prove him wrong,” you explain, shrugging. “Where is he, anyway?”

Sam and Dean exchange a look. “We don’t know. We’ve been hunting and hoping to find him in the process,” Sam says.

You nod slowly. Your dad taking off isn’t that uncommon, but it is uncommon to see your brothers hunting together. “I’ll get out of your hair soon,” you mumble, not sure that they wanted you around.

“Woah, wait. There’s no rush. Sam was right, you were pretty good back there . . . We could use your help,” Dean says. He’s not going to let you go so easily this time around.

“Really?” You say, a little surprised. You sit up in bed, taking the ice pack off your forehead.

“Yes. And keep that on,” Dean says quickly, taking the ice pack from you and pressing it to your wound himself. He moves to sit down next to you, making you roll your eyes, but you don’t argue. It’s kinda nice to have him helping you out, he’s always been protective over you and Sam.

“The Three Musketeers, all back together again,” Sam jokes, just to annoy you both.

“Is it too late to back out now?” You ask.

“Yes,” the brothers say. You’re in too deep now, Dean and Sam aren’t letting you go again.

[babysun412]

Hi!! Can I please request a haechan one-shot in which he's totally whipped for yn

Hi! Thank you for your request! I hope you don't mind that I used Haechan's real name. I'm just used to writing with it. Anyway, I hope you like it! 😊❤

Whipped - Lee Haechan

Pairing - Haechan x Reader

You were already on your way back home when you got a text from Donghyuck. His message asked if you could stop by the practice room for while. Despite how exhausted you are, you caved and are now standing infront of the practice room door with food because you have the fattest crush on the world.

"Y/N!!!" Donghyuck shouted when he saw you through the mirror. He ran towards you and grabbed the food out of your hands. "You brought me food?"

"No," You teased with a smile. "I bought everyone food."

The dreamies came rushing towards you just as fast as Donghyuck did when you pulled out another bag from behind your back.

"You're literally the best," Jisung grabbed the bag and put it on the floor.

"I know I am," You sighed gently before patting your legs. "Well, anyway, I hope you enjoy your food."

"You're leaving?" Donghyuck's head shot up instantly.

"Yeah, I've got finals to study for," You grimaced as Donghyuck started whining at you.

"Y/nnnnnn you can study later," He had a pout on his lips as he dragged his feet towards where you were standing.

"I really can't," You tried to avoid looking at the puppy eyes he was giving you. "Everything's kicking my ass right now and i can't afford to fuck this up."

"You can study here!" Donghyuck shrugged his shoulders up and started pulling your backpack off your back. "You can study now and we can hang out after practice."

"Haechan-ah, she might be tired and just want to go home," Mark rolled his eyes at his best friend as Donghyuck proceeded to ignore him and set your bag against the wall.

"You'll stay, right?" Donghyuck's voice turned soft as he peered at you. He almost looked a bit shy.

"Yeah," You felt breathless at the smile he was giving you. "Just for a little while."

"YAY!" He screeched as he clung onto your shoulders before running back to finish his food.

By the time they got back to practicing you were almost falling asleep. Your classes had been keeping you up late at nights and you haven't been getting much sleep. All you wanted to do was curl up in your bed but who can say no to Lee Donghyuck?

"Dude, she's falling asleep," Jeno sighed before looking at Donghyuck. "You should've let her go home. She's clearly tired."

"No I'm not!" You straightened up and open your eyes as wide as you could get them to wake yourself up. "I'm as wide awake as ever."

Donghyuck peered over at you with worry. The divot between his brows was deep as he bit his lip. He didn't mean to keep you from sleeping but he really missed you. He likes spending time with you and gets more motivated when he sees your face.

Once there was another break he came over to sit next to you. He rubbed his sweaty hands over his legs and stared at the way your head was leaned back and your eyes were closed.

You weren't asleep but you could feel the warmth radiating off him with how close he was sitting to you. You wish you could bask in that warmth. You've constantly been avoiding telling him how you feel because you're afraid he'll reject you.

But hey...it doesn't hurt to take advantage of the situation now does it. You slowly leaned to your left until your head landed on Donghyuck's warm shoulder. You're body finally relaxing for the first time all day.

"Oh, y/n..." Donghyuck took a deep breath before he dropped his head on top of yours.

"We have to-" Jaemin started to say but instantly stopped talking when Donghyuck held a finger to his lips and gave him a life ending glare.

"Are you ever gonna confess?" Jaemin raised a brow as Donghyuck's cheeks began to turn pink.

"Shut up," Donghyuck grumbled.

You on the other hand could hear this whole exchange and it almost made you furrow your brows.

Does Donghyuck like somebody?

"She doesn't like me back," You heard Donghyuck say but it didn't seem loud enough for anybody but you to hear it.

Donghyuck slowly reached for your hand and slid your fingers together. You could feel him tracing light and gentle circles on the back of your hand.

"I'm sorry for making you stay," His voice was the softest you've ever hear it. "I know you're tired but...sometimes I just miss you."

You swear your felt like your heart was going to beat out of your chest when his nose pressed into the top of your head and his free hand gently pushed your hair out of your face.

"You make me really happy," Donghyuck pressed a light kiss into your hair.

"Alright let's run it again!" Mark clapped his hands before screaming when Donghyuck had pick up one of your pencils and chucked it at him.

"Shut. The. Fuck. Up." Donghyuck whisper yelled at him as you pretended to stir to not make it obvious you were awake.

Also maybe to calm yourself down because what in the actual fuck just happened.

"Haechan-ah-" Jaemin rolled his eyes.

"Five more minutes," Donghyuck huffed once he made sure you were "sleeping" again.

You had finally decided that maybe you would try to fall sleep on his arm. You could felt love burst through your chest at his words and you sleepily nuzzed your cheek against his shoulder.

"Sleep well, princess," Donghyuck ran his thumb over your knuckles as he stared down at your sleeping face.

If Chenle pretended to gag in the background then that was nobody's business but his and the ass kicking Donghyuck would give him later.

[potatoqueenpal]

Yall I'm SO SORRY for dipping on you I have no ideas and I'm still fighting to get my avior fic back.

Have filler till I think of more angst

I present to you: Shaw Pack and Mates: Incorrect quotes

Sam, filling out legal paperwork: Were you guys born AMAB or AFAB?

Sweetheart : Bold of you to assume I was born at all.

Baabe: I personally was created in a lab.

Angel: I just straight up spawned.

Sam: We call that a traumatic experience.

Sam, turning to Baabe: Not a "bruh moment".

Sam, turning to Angel: Not "sadge".

Sam, turning to Sweetheart : And DEFINITELY not an "oof LMAO".

Asher: Knock, knock.

Baabe: Who's there?

Asher: Boo!

Baabe: Boo who?

Asher: Why are you crying?

Baabe: I'm not crying.

Asher: Hello notcrying, I'm Asher.

Milo: Angel, you look deep in thought. What’s wrong?

Angel: Did you know you can look at any object and know what it’s like to lick it? Even if you’ve never touched it before?

Milo: I’m never asking you anything ever again.

David: There's nothing worse than people using big words they don't understand.

Milo: I photosynthesize with this.

Sweetheart: I’m this close to falling in love with Milo.

Asher: Your fingertips are touching.

Sweetheart: Exactly.

Asher, spraying a melted cutting board with a tiny water gun: We gotta cool this bitch down. Cool it down.

Sweetheart : I actually just put the cutting board in the oven...

Baabe, visibly confused: Okay, so they decided to put the cutting board in the oven?

Asher, spraying Sweetheart : You FUCKING DUMBASS!

Sweetheart : Dude, I forgot-

Asher: OH MY FUCKING GOD! We're trying to make Chicken Alfredo right now, and you fucking MELT the cutting board in the oven at 400 DEGREES FAHRENHEIT!?

Sam: *Watching in complete confusion while trying to process this whole situation.*

Asher: In your opinion, what is the height of stupidity?

David, turning to Darlin': How tall are you?

Angel: Sam said its my turn with the brain cell.

Asher: Square up.

Sam: And what do we say when someone refuses your offer?

Sweetheart : Suck it, boomer!

Sam: I don't know who "Boomer" is, but no.

Asher: *spits mouthful of blood onto floor* You’ve become far more powerful since we last crossed paths.

Dentist: Please stop, there’s literally a sink right next to you.

Baabe: I think my guardian angel drinks.

David: How did none of you hear what I just said?!

Milo: I've been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.

Asher: I got distracted halfway through.

Darlin': Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

Asher: Consider the fundraising over! Your hero has arrived!

Sam: Uhh… where did you get so much money from, Asher?

Asher: Well, you know, I’m pretty good at numbers. I just crunched them, I stretched them, I analyzed my accounts, I timed the market-

*police sirens start to wail in the background*

Sam: DID YOU ROB A BANK?!

Asher: Oh, come on, Sam, do you really think so little of me? *opens the bag as purple dye explodes on their face*

Sam:

Asher: …it was a credit union.

Angel: Tell them to eat shit, David.

David: Tell them yourself.

Angel: Eat shit, asshole. Fall of your horse.

Milo, gardening: Hey, can you bring me the hoe?

Darlin': Yeah, sure.

*A few minutes later*

Darlin': Here you go.

Milo:

Darlin':

Baabe: Why am I here?

Angel: Guess what I'm about to get!

David: On my nerves.

Sweetheart : That's a nice arguement, Milo Why don't you back it up with a source?

Milo: My source is that I made it the fuck up!

Sam: Aww, what's your cat's name?

Milo: Aggro.

Sam, yelling to Baabe: TRY AGGRO!

Baabe, on the computer: DIDN'T WORK!

Milo:

Sam: What's your favorite number?

Angel: I’m so jetlagged I can’t even regrender my chorf.

*Everyone stares at Angel*

Angel: I don’t even know what I was trying to say.

Angel: I've connected the two dots.

David: You didn't connect shit.

Angel: I've connected them.

And now, wholesome (amd flirty) ship incoreect quotes:

｡･ﾟﾟ･　　･ﾟﾟ･｡｡･ﾟﾟ･　　･ﾟﾟ･｡｡･ﾟﾟ･　　･ﾟﾟ･｡｡･

David : Do you want to explain the text you sent me last night?

Angel: It was autocorrect.

David : Autocorrect wrote "You're so hot. Please step on me."?

Angel: Yes.

Angel: You are the love of my life and I would do anything within reason to make you happy.

David : I would be happy if you ate, stayed hydrated and got a reasonable amount of sleep.

Angel: I said within reason, David . How about I murder that guy?

David : So murder is in reason but proper self care isn't?

Angel: Well, duh. What kind of question is that?

Angel: Hey, wanna take a shower with me?

David : I have a gun on that nightstand beside the bed. If I ever say no to that question, I want you to take it out and shoot me because I’ve obviously gone crazy.

Angel: There are 20 letters in the alphabet, right?

David : Nope, there's 26.

Angel: Ah, I must have forgotten U, R, A, Q, T.

David : Aww, that's cute, but you're still missing one.

Angel: So give me the D.

Angel: Hey, I’m getting in the shower. Wanna help me out?

David : ...Have you never taken a shower before?

David, sweating: Angel, there’s something I need to ask you-

Angel: Finally! You’re proposing!

David: How’d you know?

Angel: David, you’ve dropped the ring five times during dinner.

Angel: I even picked it up once.

David: I want to kiss you.

Angel, not paying attention: What?

David: I said if you die, I wont miss you.

Baabe: I’ve been dropping them the most insanely obvious hints for like a year now. No response.

Asher: Wow. They sound stupid.

Baabe: But they’re not. They’re really smart actually. Just dense.

Asher: Maybe you need to be more obvious? Like, I don’t know… “Hey! I love you!”

Baabe: I guess you’re right. Hey Asher, I love you.

Asher: See! Just say that!

Baabe: Holy fucking shit.

Asher: If that flies over their head then, sorry Baabe, but they're too dumb for you.

Baabe: Asher.

Baabe: You know my motto: carpe diem, carpe noctem, carpe coles.

Asher: Seize the day, seize the night, what’s the last one?

Baabe: Seize the dick.

Asher: We have a problem.

Baabe: No, YOU have a problem. I have an idiot who keeps making them.

Baabe: I'm trash.

Asher: As someone who's environmentally conscious, it's my duty to pick you up. Does 7 work for you?

Baabe:

Baabe: You smooth motherfucker.

Baabe: And yes it does.

Asher: Sorry I’m late, I was doing things.

Baabe: Hi, I’m ‘things’.

Asher: Valentine’s day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos-

Baabe: I wrote you a poem.

Asher, already crying: You did?

Milo: Being gay is a constant battle between "I wish to sit on a window bench with my lover, our legs tangling as we listen to the birds" and "Hey, let's go throw rocks at fascists" and I think that's very sexy of us.

Sweetheart : If the window's open and you time it right, you can do both.

Milo: I fell—

Sweetheart : From heaven?

Milo: No, I literally fell—

Sweetheart : In love with me the moment you saw me?

Milo: MY ARM IS BROKEN!

Sweetheart : Okay, but do you think I'm pretty? Be honest.

Milo: Okay, but what if we went to dinner not as friends this time?

Sweetheart : AS ENEMIES?!

Milo:

Milo walking into the kitchen and seeing all their limes peeled: Sweetheart , I love you but, what the h-e-double FUCK.

Sweetheart , sipping coffee happily: I love you too :)

Sweetheart : I don't know how to tell you this, but... I love you.

Milo: That's great, Sweetheart . Especially considering the fact we've been together for 6 fucking years.

Sweetheart : I’m in love with you.

Milo: We called off the prank war last night at midnight, dork.

Sweetheart : I know.

Milo: Ah. Okay. Um. Cool. Neat. Very cool. Cool. Cool. Coolcoolcool-

Sweetheart: I was going to suggest we do Marilyn Monroe and JFK roleplay, but I’d get way too into it.

Milo: What- how?

Sweetheart: You’d be like “come to bed … Mr. President” and I’d be like, “I need to increase the amount of American military advisors in South Vietnam by a factor of 18.”

Milo: Wait, what's going on? Are we all talking about how hot Sweetheart is? Because Sweetheart is a straight up sexual fox riding a red-hot nuclear bombshell right toward the yowza plaza in the heart of Babe City, Assachusetts, U S A. The last A just stands for more ass.

Sam: The stars are so beautiful...

Darlin': They're just giant balls of gas.

Sam: You know what, if you're just going to ruin this, then-

Darlin': And yet none of them are as huge as my love for you.

Sam: Oh...

Darlin': Wow, Sam, you want to hold my hand before marriage? How awfully lewd of you.

Sam: We literally slept together yesterday.

Darlin': That's NOTHING compared to the lewdness of holding hands.

Sam: I love you.

Darlin', not paying attention: What was that?

Sam: I said I’m selling you to the zOo-

Darlin': Well, Sam and I finally did it!

The rest of the squad: *gasps, shocked expressions, etc.*

Darlin': That's right... We kissed!

Darlin': What are you in the mood for?

Sam: World domination.

Darlin': That's a bit ambitious.

Sam: You are my world.

Darlin': Aww...

Sam:

Darlin':

Sam:

Darlin': OH.

Darlin': I have feelings for you.

Sam: Why? What's wrong with you? Are you sure you're okay?

Waiter: What would you like?

Darlin': Bring a milkshake with two straws.

Sam: *blushes*

Darlin': *puts both straws in their mouth* Watch how fast I can drink this!!

Darlin': You got a date yet Sam?

Sam: No...

Darlin': Well you do now! Get your ass up and hold my hand!

Darlin': Are we fighting or flirting?

Sam: I'm pinning you against a wall with my hand around your neck-

Darlin': Your point?

Darlin': I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine.

Sam: But, darling, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again.

Darlin': O-oh. Well. Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns??

Sam: Is it working?

Sam: We should get you to a doctor for a check up immediately. What if it happens again, and there isn’t anyone around to help you? What if it’s congenital? Oh my God! Was it me? Did I hurt you?

Darlin': …You realize any other person that made their partner pass out in bed would simply feel really proud of themselves, right?

Sam: Since we're in a relationship now, your clothes are my clothes too. Don't ask me why I have your shirt on, this is our shirt.

Darlin': Fine, but when I come strutting in with your fuzzy socks I don't want to hear shit.

Darlin': Come to dinner tonight. I can’t cook, but I’ll bring plenty of free wine.

Sam: Marry me.

Darlin': This date is boring!

Sam: This isn't a date. I said I was going to the store.

Darlin': Then why did you invite me?

Sam: I didnt, I specifically said "don't come with me," then you said, "fuck you Sam I'll do whatever I want!

(This is long as fuuuuck and took me a good hour, but it was fun)

[sexydoffyman]

For Kinktober, may I request Size Difference with Ghost and gender neutral reader (if possible)? If your not doing COD characters, I’m cool with Sanji :) please and thank you ♥️ and I hope your doing well today.

day 22 - SIZE DIFFERENCE

Simon Riley

navigation

genre: smut

mdni

A/N: I know I didn't publicly announce this, but I don't write for One piece anymore. Maybe I will in the future tho.

You were in the army for a while. You've never gained a stable position. You were always exchanging captains like socks. It's not that everyone that has led you in the past has died. No, just the overall organisation was fucked. And you were the one who took one for the team.

Everyone else from your first squad exchanged captains like once or never. And they only did it when their captain died. You had to jump from a place to a different place every other week.

It wasn't that bad. The whole moving from one base to another base was simple, not like everyone described it. And you got loads of respect from your superiors. You were doing the job that no one wanted to do.

And why the hell not? It even came with certain benefits. You had lots of connections. If your current team was in an urgent situation and needed a sniper, for example, immediately. You knew who to ask. Having different people around you was the only stressful thing.

Your superiors showing their authority in a physical way was one of the annoying things. But you learned to live with it until recently. You were assigned to the TF141.

Simon "Ghost" Riley. You thought the one who'd try to show you where you stand would be the captain. But no. The captain "John Price" was a solid dude. It was the lieutenant that was putting you in your place constantly. You didn't get a break.

The most annoying part was that he wasn't hurting you in any way, shape, or form. He killed off your spirit. He destroyed you from the inside. He was terrifying even without throwing a single punch. One of the things helping him be such a freak of nature was his height.

He's standing at 6'4, a big boy. You were somewhere in the 5'3 to 5'6 range. The height difference was very noticeable. Anytime he walked up to you, you took a step back. He was just that intimidating.

You would have to lie to yourself if you said that you never thought about him totally destroying you in bed. It was a secret thought that you'd take with you to your grave. But Ghost, he knew. He didn't need you to tell him he could sense it from your body language.

At first, his reaction was something like "Fucking hell" You know, the classic British man reaction. But as time went on, he started to like it. He himself had a few thoughts of you.

You both felt the tension in between you. Once, on a mission, you were walking with him and Gaz. Gaz got separated since he needed to talk to Price. You walked with Ghost holding onto your firearm.

Ghost suddenly stopped in his tracks. You looked at him but didn't say a word. Just in case he was trying to listen for footsteps. You threw him a confused glance.

When it seemed he was just standing there with no particular reason you walked towards him, questioning, why'd he stop. But when you were in front of him, your mouth refused to move. Ghost smirked even tho you weren't able to see it. He quickly pinned you against a wall. He leaned down to your ear and whispered, "I know where the weapons are~"

You got confused for a second. Right, you were sent here to find some missing gear of some dead soldiers. But if he knew where they were, then why didn't he do anything. Why would he want to make things longer? That wasn't like him.

You questioned him about it, and he just chuckled. "We can pretend we were searching the whole time~" You looked at him, still as confused as before. You couldn't put your head around it. "By that, I mean I can take my sweet time with you~" Now you understood.

Your cheeks turned red, and you looked away like you were embarrassed. "Is that a no?" He looked at you. He wanted to hear you say it.

You gathered your strength and mumbled, "You won't snitch, right?" He smiled and, without hesitation, lifted you up off the ground. You instinctively put your legs around his waist. Ghost pushed his body onto yours, making sure you feel all of him. He pulled his zipper open, and so did you.

He helped you to pull your pants down a little. He was huge. He pressed the tip against your entrance and pushed in, stuffing you full. He was slow and gentle. He was patient. He was calm.

Thanks to his size, he had full control. Your hands were pressed against his shoulders. You whined from the stretch. "Shhh, it's fine, sweetheart. You're gonna get used to it soon.

After the mission, you wondered why did they assign you to TF141 permanently and gave your schedule to someone else.

Guess someone took a liking to the little recruit.

[twisted-wonderland-but-gayer]

I like the idea of wholesome military Yuu. Probably accidentally makes people assume they're mean or scary but it's just a gym bro. During overblots they took everyone down so easily because of past trainings. Very cool scars they boast about but everyone looks at them horrified.

"Oh this from the time I got grazed with a bullet, very cool huh?"

"What.."

-also is it cool if I name myself 🍰 anon? I feel like I lurk around your ask inbox a lot, it's totally fine if I can't!

Please read all the dialouge in a fucking duke nukem voice.

This giant person approached Idia after they heard Idia mumbles self depreciating things abt himself himself under this breath. Idia is frozen and he hears boss music. "Hey man, stop putting yourself down, it's not cool. I know you can't see it but your character and strengths are pretty cool. I hope you can lean to see it in time." And refuses to walk off until Idia says something nice about himself, in which then Yuu daps him up and says "nice one dude"

"Hey man what are you? A dude, a girl a they?" "I don't have pronouns or gender. Those damn alien bastards stole them from me."

Ruggie being baffled at this mfer who makes bank back in their world be so frugal and down to earth. One day they say to Idia "you play retro games for nostalgia, i play retro games because i cannot afford new ones, we are not the same." And Ruggie tries to call them out.

"Actually I donate most of my millions to charities in need and enjoying sponsoring education for young children in less fortunate situations. Also, those damn alien bastards stole all of my newer consoles and deleted my save data."

They don't like Octavinelle. They're posers protecting a restaurant by Mediocre blackmail and threats of violence. "Booo where im from corporations make sure to stage your suicide by shooting you three times in the back of the head for speaking up about child labor"

They esp hate Azul. "Mindless corporations like yours forced me and my comrades across sea to commit atrocities on innocents and die over oil. You are not a cool dude, bro." Or just.

"You claim to know how to fight and use magic yet only fight against those who are weaker than you. This one is for my ignihyde friend that was bullied by you." And the trio just roll their eyes before getting steamrolled by this mfer in a real fight and almost end up in the ER. This is the same person who said "those damn shrimp bastards will pay for frying my rice and trying to break into the kitchen.

They advocate equal rights and just a good dude. Everytime they speak you hear a hard-core guitar riff. They are simultaneously the smartest yet stupidest person everyone knows. Everyone agrees that they're cool as hell tho. They hand Yuu a cold one and take off their glasses to wink, but underneath their glasses, they have another pair on.

They are just a walking shitpost

2) yeah i checked my blog and dont think I have cake (slice) anon??? Your cool, welcome aboard

[hischierswhore]

drunk calls

pairing: Christian Pulisic x Reader

TW: mentions of alcohol // drinking // mentions of a breakup

Your break up with Christian, your boyfriend of 2 years, definitely took a toll on you. You isolated yourself from the outside world, preferring to stay in the comfort of your home, not wanting to risk being hurt again. You found yourself thinking about him, even after a month. In fact, you've only been able to think about him since the moment he walked out the front door of your apartment.

And that brings us here: you're sitting in bed, staring blankly at your laptop as your mind drifts back to when you last saw his gorgeous smile...and wondering how in the hell things got so screwed up between the two of you.

When did everything go wrong? How could it be possible for you and the love of your life to become nothing more than strangers after everything you'd been through together?

As you think, the clock ticks away over on the wall, reminding you that it is now almost 2 am. What was supposed to have been an easy evening at home with just a little bit of internet browsing turned into hours spent dwelling on what went wrong between the pair of you.

-

"Y/n, I'm telling you. You need to go out and stop torturing yourself" your friend Sadie says in exasperation as she sits down beside you on your sofa.

"I know it hurts, but you can't live like this forever" For a moment, you let out a pitiful groan, burying your head in your hands, causing your friend to put her arm around you, giving you a comforting hug.

"It just doesn't make any sense. We loved each other" You say as you lift your head to stare directly at your closest confidant, needing to see her face for some sort of reassurance.

"I know you loved him, but he broke your heart, Y/n. There's no going back from that" She replies with her own personal version of sympathy, leaning in closer to whisper in your ear.

"How about we go out tonight?" She suggests quietly, resting her chin upon your shoulder. Her suggestion makes sense; you don't want to sit alone at home while you replay the whole situation again and again in your head.

"We can find a club, get drunk, dance all night long..." She starts, but you don't let her finish her sentence before you're nodding your head in agreement. The very thought of doing something as pointless as drinking until you feel numb seems strangely appealing right now.

"Great idea, come on, lets go!" You both stand up from your seats, making your way to your bedroom to get dressed.

-

As you and Sadie entered the club, you both made a beeline for the bar. Tonight would be a good night to start getting drunk. If you were honest with yourself, you just wanted to forget all about Christian and drown your sorrows in alcohol.

At least, that's what you hoped.

You took your first sip of a dark red wine, savouring the taste and feeling it run smoothly down your throat, before taking another sip. Sadie drank two glasses of wine before calling it a night, stating that she was the designated driver for the pair of you. You, on the other hand, decided to push the envelope a little more, ordering 2 more drinks at the bar, downing them almost immediately.

You couldn't remember the last time you felt this free, having gotten completely hammered on just 3 drinks. At times, the lights seemed to turn on their side, spinning dizzyingly as they circled the room, accompanied by flashing colors of purple, orange and green.

The rest of the night was a blur. You vaguely remember Sadie telling you that she was leaving to go hookup with some dude she met at the bar, abandoning you at the club, drunk and alone.

After another hour, you decided you wanted to leave, so you turned on your phone and scrolled through your contacts and tapped on the one you were most used to calling.

Christian.

"Pick up pick up pick up" You drunkenly mumbled to yourself.

"Y/n???"

"Oh my god, heyyyy. Your voice is like, really hot right now"

"Y/n... you sound drunk...where are you?"

"What do you mean where am I? I'm at a club with Sadie. Duh." You mumbled, before taking a deep breath.

"Well, Sadie left to go get some, but I'm still here. You know, enjoying the vibes" Your speech was slurring as you spoke.

"Y/n, I know you're probably drunk off your ass right now, but please stay right where you are. I'm coming to get you" You sat in silence for a few seconds before realizing he had actually hung up.

-

Less than 5 minutes later, Christian had arrived at the club. He only knew which club you were at because that was the only club you liked going to. He jumped out of his car and raced inside to find you. As he cut through the crowds, he saw you sitting on one of the leather couches. He let out a breath of relief as he approached you.

"Hey sweetheart" His warm voice pulled you from your thoughts of the different colors you saw floating throughout the club. It felt as though you had sobered up almost instantaneously just by hearing his voice.

He pulled you up gently, placing his hands under your armpits and supporting your weight against his chest, carrying you out of the building. As he stepped outside onto the sidewalk, he placed you into the passenger seat. He sat behind the wheel of the car, glancing over at you before beginning his drive.

"Drink this. It'll help" He handed you a bottle of water to help you sober up.

"So what exactly were you doing at a club with Sadie?" He cleared his throat before speaking, leaning forward slightly in his seat to gaze through the windshield.

"Trying to forget" you replied honestly, keeping your eyes focused ahead of you while slowly drinking the water bottle. Christian quickly glanced at you as you answered.

"What were you trying to forget about?" He questioned.

"That's a stupid question" You retorted dryly before you looked at him, unable to read his expression due to your current state.

"You... and us..." You whispered, feeling sorry for yourself. A frown appeared on Christian's lips as he listened to your confession.

"Why did you want to forget about us?"

"Because it hurts too much to think about what we had and then it all suddenly got taken away from me" You buried your head deeper into your lap, wishing you hadn't spoken up. He inhaled deeply through his nose, letting out a shaky exhale before speaking again.

"I don't know why I did it" He added. He heard you sniffle loudly, so he reached over to squeeze your hand reassuringly.

"I know you may hate me, but I do love you. I don't want you to feel like it was anything you did. It was all my fault" He continued softly.

"You don't need to carry around guilt for things that weren't your fault. Don't punish yourself for my stupidity" You nodded, gazing out of the window instead of looking at him. He sighed, rolling his shoulders as he kept his eyes fixed on the road ahead. You had never been so close to tears.

"I hope you know that I don't hate you" You finally found yourself speaking up, your voice shakier than ever. Christian turned his head to face you.

"I couldn't possibly hate you, Chris. I love you too much to do that" You whispered before turning to meet his eyes. He smiled sadly, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you towards him.

-

Once he had driven to your house, he helped guide you out of the car and up to your front door. You handed him the key, allowing Christian to turn the lock and open the door before guiding you inside. He led you upstairs, opening your bedroom door and leading you to your bed.

"I'll go grab you some make-up wipes. You just uh... stay here and get changed into something comfy" He whispered as he disappeared into your bathroom.

While he was gone, you took advantage of the opportunity and changed into a pair of sweatpants and a random hoodie. Moments later, Christian walks back in with a pack of wipes in hand. He freezes as the sight of you.

"Is that my hoodie?" His question causes you to look down and take a look at what you were wearing. It was indeed his hoodie.

"Oh, yeah I guess it is. Do you want it back-" You asked but were cut off mid-sentence.

"No, keep it. It looks better on you anyways" He gave you a soft smile before removing one makeup wipe from the package and wiping it across your face.

"Thank you" You murmured as you watched him put away the unused ones. An awkward tension filled the room as you both sat in silence.

"Did you really mean it? When you said you still love me?" You questioned the man in front of you.

"I wouldn't lie about that, Y/n. I don't think I'll ever love anyone as much as I love you. Even though I'm an absolute idiot, I want to make us work" He admitted.

"Then how about we give it another try?" You stated firmly.

"I'd really like that" He smiled at you, before pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead as he made his way to the exit.

"Chris" You shouted in attempt to grab his attention. He turned around at the mention of his name.

"Stay with me, please" You gave him a look and he knew he wouldn't be able to say no to you. Having already been in a pair of sweatpants, Christian slid into bed next to you, initially keeping himself at a far enough distance to not make you uncomfortable, but you pulled him closer to you anyways.

You laid in his arms as you began to feel yourself fall into a deep slumber, his hands slowly rubbing your back.

"I love you, princess" was all that could be heard as you were finally fell asleep in Christian's arms once again.

-

TAGLIST

@ithinkimokeei @myheartgoesvroom @mounthings @tall-tanned-tattoo @itsnotgray @alwaysclassyeagle @charlewiss @pianoisland @chelseagirl98 @lovelynikol16 @username-envy

[toxinoire]

This is gonna be a wild ride. (Mean Girls + Heathers skit)

Inspired by something I saw on Tiktok

~~~~

Janis: Isn't the party tomorrow?

Cady: Apparently, it's a week long party.

Janis: Oh.

Gretchen: That explains why the guests are arriving now and well...every other day ago.

Karen: What's everyone supposed to do then?

Aaron: Not sure.

Damian: Yeah, Jan, can you greet some of them?

Janis: Yeah I guess.

(At the door)

Janis: Hey Kurt Kelly, you can put your stuff over there.

Kurt: Woo, didn't expect to be greeted by a hottie like you.

Janis: Dude, I'm gay-

Janis: REGINA DID YOU JUST PUNCH HIM-

~~~~

Janis: Ram Sweeney, over there.

Ram: You look tense sweetheart.

Ram: Need a hug~

Janis: Oh no I don't-

Janis: REGINA STOP PUNCHING PEOPLE-

(Later)

Janis: Alright then, Heather Chandler. You can put your stuff over there.

Janis: ...And...who are you? And why do we look alike?

Veronica: Uh- Huh, we do look alike... Anyway...

Veronica: I'm her friend, Veronica Sawyer.

Janis:

Janis: Interesting.

Veronica: I have a bad feeling about this.

~~~~~

Janis: Ah you're from Ohio...

Veronica: Oh fuck off. Anyway, the party is tomorrow?

Janis: It appears so.

Janis: So that blonde demon you were with..?

Veronica: Oh you mean Heather? Yeah, she kinda just dragged me into this. I didn't want to go.

Janis: Relatable

Janis: And you have a thing for her, right?

Veronica: HUH- She's my friend...

Janis: *wheezes*

Janis: Oh wait, you were serious?

(Later)

Veronica: Oh, hi Heather.

Janis: *whispers* Wait, watch this.

Veronica: Wait, what? No-

Janis: Hey, Heather, you'll be happy to know that you're little friend over here just got asked to the party by that boy Kevin G.

Veronica: *whisper shouts* No I wasn't.

Janis: Shhh.

Janis: See, look how upset she is as she storms away!

Veronica: Why are you saying that like it's a good thing?

Janis: Oh, I have so much to teach you.

Regina: Janis, who's this?

Regina: And why does she look a lot like you?

Janis: Oh Regina. This is my new friend, Veronica Sawyer.

Veronica: *awkwardly* Hi...

Janis: Anyway, Reggie, you gonna ask anyone to the party.

Regina: Uh-

Regina: No one.

Janis: No one?

Janis: Uh- well I just got asked. And I said yes-

Janis: Asked by- Heather Chandler-

Janis: Yeah.

Janis: Oh you look mad-

Janis, walking away: *to herself* Yeah that was a bad choice...

Veronica: Does she always lack that much self awareness?

Cady: Yeah.

Veronica: AH- Oh it's just another human being.

Cady:

Cady: What.

Veronica: Anyway, don't worry Regina. I'm sure Heather treats her dates well.

Veronica: Judging by the rage in your eyes, I made things worse.

~~~~

Janis: Yoooo Heather Chandler, right? I take it you're enjoying the shit in this party.

Janis: Anyway, so I'm gonna you to pretend to be my date to the party to make Regina jealous.

Heather: What? No-

Janis: Oh, I wasn't asking you, I was telling you.

Heather: I-

Heather: *realizes it could possibly help her situation with Veronica*

Heather: Fine.

Janis: Nice.

Veronica: How did you do that?

Janis: I don't know, but it doesn't matter.

Veronica: Your friends must have a hard time dealing with you.

Janis: Don't take Damian and Cady's side-

(Later)

Veronica: Hi, Regina?

Veronica: Sorry to interrupt you throwing darts at a picture of...Heather...

Veronica: I was just wondering, if you didn't want Janis to go to the party with Heather, why didn't you just ask her yourself?

Regina: *throws dart at Veronica*

Veronica: *dodges* Okay, so you two clearly don't do well with logic.

~~~~~

Janis: Heather, this is a disaster.

Janis: Especially since the party is tomorrow and we both know you'd rather go with Veronica and I'd rather go with Regina.

Heather: What- I don't wanna-

Janis: Oh, don't try to lie. This isn't my first rodeo.

Heather: ...Okay yeah, I wanna go with Veronica.

Janis: See? Was that so hard to admit?

~~~~

Veronica: Okay, Regina, is there anything you'd like to say to Janis?

Regina: Uh-

Regina:

Regina: Get me punch.

Veronica:

Janis: Bitch- okay fine. *leaves*

Veronica: Dude why?

Veronica: You could've just- you had the chance to- ugh.

Veronica: Heather, these people are insane.

Heather: Yeah, I can see that.

Veronica: Geez, this is why you should never fall for someone you're friends with that you used to hate.

Veronica: Especially when they're THAT oblivious!

Heather: ...

Veronica: Why are you looking at me like that?

(The next day)

Janis: This is the last party I'm ever going too.

Janis: Would you get in here?

Veronica: I feel ridiculous.

Janis: The fuck you mean? You look awesome.

Janis: Oh, and there's your date. Kevin, get over here!

Veronica: Is he reading a calculus book?

Janis: Oh, I forgot to mention that most of the things he talks about is math.

Janis: Anyway- have fun!

Veronica: Oh that bitch.

~~~~

Janis: Yo Heather, you clean up nice.

Heather: Obviously.

Janis: Well aren't you cocky.

(Meanwhile)

Veronica: Hi Regina, are you ok?

Regina: Yeah, why?

Veronica: Cause you're very angrily staring at Heather and Janis.

Veronica: And you just poked a hole through your paper cup.

Veronica: The punch is dripping on the carpet.

~~~~

Janis: Hey Heather- you have something in you hair-

Janis: Oh shit, my bracelet is stuck.

Janis: Maybe if I turn this way...

Veronica: Oh, are they about to k- AH!

Janis: AH!

Janis: Oh shit, Regina just pushed her to the table.

Veronica: OUR BLONDES ARE GONNA KILL EACH OTHER!

Janis: Entertainment.

Veronica: What- Why do you have that look on your face?

Janis: Oh, I'm not wearing a bracelet.

Veronica: Oh you sick son of a bitch.

Janis: Alright Regina! Get her with your left hook!

Veronica: WHY ARE YOU ENCOURAGING THIS?!

Janis: Oh, cause it's fun.

Veronica: It's my fault for asking...

Veronica: ALRIGHT THAT'S IT YOU TWO BREAK IT UP!

Veronica: Shit, Heather, are you okay?

Heather: I mean, my face is swollen so no.

Veronica: Yeah, let me see. Does it hurt that bad?

Heather: It stings, yeah.

Veronica: Okay, don't worry, we can put an ice pack on that and you'll be fine.

Janis, watching them: My work here is done.

Janis:

Janis: Oh hey Reggie- you got a little bruise over there- Oh you look angry.

Regina: Heh, come here. *starts chasing Janis*

Janis: Regina don't be rash- *runs away*

Veronica: There goes the two most dysfunctional people I've ever met.

Veronica: Heather, why are you laughing?

Veronica: Wait...Were you in on that?

Heather: Pfft- Yeah.

Veronica: *smacks Heather at the back of her haad* You big idiot! I was so worried about you!

Veronica: I mean not you- I was worried because um-

Heather: Pfft-

Veronica: Shut up.

(The next day)

Veronica: Yeah, so we're heading out.

Janis: Really? Well, have a safe trip back. It was nice meeting you.

Veronica: Yeah...you know what, here's my phone number.

Veronica: If you ever wanna talk about anything, just give me a call.

Janis: Aww that's sweet. But I already got it from Heather yesterday. I already left six messages.

Veronica: Of course you did.

Veronica: Well, good luck with Regina.

Janis: Oh thanks, good luck with Heather.

Veronica: Oh thanks, but Heather and I really are just friends. Anyway, bye!

Janis: Whatever you say Ronnie. Have fun with that. Bye!

Janis: I miss being that stupid.

Damian:

Cady:

Gretchen:

Karen:

Aaron:

Damian: You're still-

Janis: I meant THAT level of stupid, Damian.

~~~~

That was wild. I don't know what this was lol.

[keywhole]

sorry all the comics about my ocs are tiny pixels and snippets from mspaint. also drawing hands w a mouse is rly rly rly rly rly fun. anyways more bx3 and judah lore :)

after bx3 began living on their own after recieving the medical attention they needed, they eventually ran into judah who was being mugged outside of a club. they saved him, and to repay them he offered them like an actual place 2 crash bc all of judah's roommates sorta. yk. died. bc of course they did. so bx3 lives on his couch. or he would if judah ever got Off the couch he is so lazy.

anyways after bx3 tells him abt escaping the lab and still trying to figure out who they are and what happened 2 them judah agreed to help because he has important people who owe him favors and he caught feelings bc look at bx3

transcript under the cut!

Judah: with how your breathing has been, i don't like how part of your head is looking- can i touch it?

Bx3: ya sure that's fine Bx3: you know, you really do a lot for me, judah

Judah: what? Judah: what?? no i don't. like i can bring home money and happened to have a place for us to stay, but my entire thing is that i'm lazy. i don't even do laundry. i sleep thirty hours a day sometime.

Bx3: i never said my breathing had been bad recently. you just... noticed it. and i wouldn't have realized if my head was messing up if you hadn't pointed it out. you told me you'd never call this place home again, after wat happened with... Bx3: your friends. the people that lived here before me.

Bx3: dude, being as serious as i can be here, you've been helping me plan breaking into a dangerous science facility to save the other me, and are also offering to put your feelings on the line with keeping our... hehehe, our home.

Bx3: you go out of your way to help me. if you keep insisting you hate doing anything for anyone, why are you doing this for me?

Judah: i- uh, well- okay, i guess... uh...

Bx3: is it because you couldn't save your friends?

Judah: well i mean that sorta like, makes the entire situation feel a bit more personal i guess but that's not. really. all of it.

Bx3: wdym? [what do you mean?]

Judah: after i couldn't save them, yeah, i felt like i needed to make up for it. but i didn't try to. i guess because i just didn't. feel. really. i was just kind of there. even after you started hanging around, i was just there. who was i to do anything else? i was just there.

Judah: i still went to fights. i still went to clubs. but i was still just there. i didn't feel a thing. the music didn't make me happy. the fights only made my bones tired. who was i to change that?

Judah: but after i met you, and you told me everything you had been through, you still danced to the music. you weren't doing it just to be there. you were there to have fun. to be happy. and you didn't stop just because others couldn't. you want to save the "other you" and you still feel bad about unknowingly leaving them behind. you still danced. you still smiled.

Judah: and despite all of the hurt you had hiding, you were still smiling at me, and you were still dancing, and you were still happy. you let yourself be happy. Judah: and i Judah: i just felt.

Judah: you're a reminder that it's good to be happy. that everyone should be happy. i like being happy with you. or whatever.

Bx3: JUDAAAAAAAAAAH THAT'S SO SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET OMGGG Bx3: i wouldn't be able to be happy without YOU!!!!! you're why i'm happy!! you're like!!! like!!! you're like music!!! even though i'm the one that has 2 keep you dancing LMAO

Judah: cheesy

Bx3: pfft, says the monologuer

Judah: whatever. your skin is kind of rotting

Bx3: awe man not again D: can we at least leave 2morrow?

Judah: yeah, okay

Bx3: YAAAAAY

Judah: just keep me dancing, okay? Bx3: i always will

[felice-jaganshi]

Alastor's Leash

Chapter 4

This one correlates to chapter 13 of fallen apple. Lucifer's wedding!! For the actual ceremony and vows, go to that chapter, then come back. Unless you've already read it.

(Also, the ai covers of the songs used if you'd like that ~ ~ )

______________

 

Over the next few months, Alastor got to know Zariah's dear friend Becca better. Which meant he also got to spend time tormenting Lucifer. Unfortunately, both women seemed determined to curb the worst of his antics and get the two to “play nice”.

But he did enjoy Becca's company whenever he was able to get her away from Lucifer. Zariah herself was enjoying getting to know Lucifer as well. It turns out, Zariah had a chicken obsession in life, so she could relate to his duck obsession on a deeper level than even Becca could. Much to Alastor's extreme frustration.

 

One day he found Lucifer shifted into a chicken in her lap. She was petting his feathers and purring. Alastor had summoned her chain that day and reminded them both that he wasn't fond of sharing what was his. He ended up dragging her to his room and just holding her while he growled and grumbled about how she should know better than to pet another man!

“He's specifically known for stealing other men's wives!” He huffed.

“Al, Al! Two things.” She grabbed his face in her hands. “Two things… one, both the women he stole were Adam's. He hasn't done that shit since. Two, I'm not your wife. I'm your platonic afterlife partner, if you really want to put a name to what we are.” She then kissed his forehead. “So calm down Al, because I'm not going anywhere. It was just a friendly situation. I will never leave you…”

He sighed, and held her tighter, and began singing.

 

You'll never know dear, how much I love you, please don't take my sunshine away.

“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are gray.

I'll always love you and make you happy, If you'd only say the same. But if you leave me to love another, You'll regret it all some day.”

Her tails wrapped around him as they sat on the bed. “I know, I know…” She pet his head, avoiding his ears. 

 

“Maybe after their wedding… you and I should have one.” He said it so casually, Zariah froze completely. 

“You're… you're kidding, right? You're just messing with me in revenge for upsetting you.” She was staring at his chest, refusing to make eye contact. 

“Hm, is this proposal not to your liking? Very well, I'll try again later… Would you rather a big musical number in Cannibal Town?” He tilted her chin to force her to look up at him. He was being serious. 

“I… you… yes please… I'd like that.” She had lost her words.

“Very well. Then when I do ask again, you had best have your answer ready, Mon Cherie.” He smirked and kissed her forehead. Her brain fried to mush whenever he spoke in French.

______

 

It was the day of Lucifer's wedding to Becca. Alastor was on Paparazzi duty, keeping them all away enough to not interfere with the ceremony. Including destroying several of Vox's drones. Charlie wouldn't stop crying every ten minutes, and Lucifer was switching between excitement and panic. Eventually Alastor decided to step away from paparazzi duty and properly tend to the king.

He entered Lucifer's room where he was getting ready, Charlie was sobbing on the phone with Zariah, who was with Becca; and Vaggie was trying to fix Lucifer's hair that he kept messing up by running his fingers through it.

He sighed, “what a disaster. And you call yourself king of hell?”

 

“Oh fuck you Al!” Lucifer shot back, horns coming out from the stress, almost stabbing Vaggie's hand. 

“Ah! Dude! Fuck it, fix your own damn hair.” She crossed her arms.

“Hm, not interested, save that for your honeymoon.” Alastor chuckled, “I didn't come here to start a fight though. I came here to save the day before you make a disaster of yourself.” He eyed Lucifer's new “suit” from the back; it almost looked like a dress with the three tiered cut to the lower cape. And with the diamond cut out on the back… “Are you trying to look like a woman?” Alastor was genuinely perplexed.

“Oh shut up! I wanted to look nicer than usual, okay?! And I always thought wedding dresses were… okay, look, I'm going through a phase! I'm ten thousand years old, back off my ass!”

 

“I…. See….” He cleared his throat. “Well then, back on point, I came here for a good reason.” He walked over, and Lucifer turned to look him head on.

“What Al?” Lucifer glared, not trusting him.

“Hm, and here I'd thought we started to mend our bridges… Now you need to keep something in mind. That girl, your little angel. She needs you to be strong right now. Because eventually, Lilith may return. And when she does… Becca will need the memory of your confidence on this day, to remind her you chose her over your ex. And that you did it without regret or hesitation. Otherwise, she'll question you and your devotion when she needs to be strong to stand against her. So for her sake. Grow a fucking spine. Believe in yourself, and believe in her. If you can't do that, don't even bother waiting at the end of that aisle.” He then turned on his heel and left the room. Leaving Lucifer in shocked silence.

 

 

The after party was as chaotic as expected. Lucifer took over the karaoke machine immediately when angel and husk finished setting it up, insisting he needed to get the first song in since it was his wedding .

“So this song is how I should have proposed. I dropped the ball on that one. But I can at least sing it at my wedding! And maybe someone else can take advantage of it.” He shot Vaggie a wink, she blushed a put a hand in her pocket with a nod.

 

“It's a beautiful night, we're looking for something dumb to do

Hey baby, I think I wanna marry you

Is it the look in your eyes or is it this dancing juice?

Who cares, baby, I think I wanna marry you.”

Alastor grabbed Zariah and danced her around the dance floor for the first half of the song, before suddenly stopping her after a spin and getting on a knee.

“Don't say no, no, no, no, no

Just say yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

And we'll go, go, go, go, go

If you're ready, like I'm ready.”

 

“I do.” She whispered breathlessly, tears filling her eyes before he even got the ring out. Everyone erupted in cheers, including Becca, who tackled Lucifer in a hug to keep herself from interrupting their moment. Luci then whispered something to her and the two disappeared. 

 

Alastor put the ring on her finger, a red band with black stones all around it. As soon as he stood she threw herself into his arms. He kissed the top of her head. “Mon petite ange, now I own you in every way I can.”

She laughed at this, “Possessive bastard.” And nuzzled into his chest.

“Well, isn't this quite the scene to return to.” A woman's voice cut through the joy. Everyone turned to look and froze in fear.

Charlie was the first to move and speak.

“Mom? You're… home?”

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #169

Today I played more Elden Ring. A few of my friends popped by to say hello as I toodled around while being a total derpasaurus rex on a lovely horned horse named Torrent. Torrent is wonderful; I don't know how or why he puts up with my clumsy ass, hahaha! But I do like to feed him lots of treats when I can, so maybe that's a little something.

There was a dragon terrorizing a place called Agheel lake; it made it really hard to get around. With Torrent's help, I was able to make it so that there is no longer a dragon terrorizing the lake. I also temporarily removed some bullies who were blocking off a bunch of roads for unknown reasons. Of course, the bullies come back to life anytime I rest. But still, a moment's peace is a moment's peace.

Really, I'd just like to explore this world unhindered with Torrent. I'd like to listen to the stories of the people who wander around. I meet a few friendly faces, but… most everything in this world wants to kill me, and I think that's kinda sad because it's such a beautiful world with very dramatic geography and lots of interesting creatures to observe!

I wonder if you'd like looking at this world. There was a place called Stormhill and you know what? I bet it would be an AMAZING place to fly a kite, if my character could have a kite. But there are no kites. Instead, there was this big machine called a Golem that came out of the ground, and it tried to kill me with its giant axe, and that was very inconvenient, so I broke the machine until it stopped moving. Hopefully the road will be a little safer for other travelers; having a giant hostile machine pop out of the ground like that was very surprising!

There was another giant, hostile machine that was shooting big ol' arrows at me as I tried riding along some road. So I broke that machine, too. What kind of person builds giant, hostile machines and then leaves them unattended, anyway? It seems very irresponsible! Also in this world, there are all these folks who think that nobody gets to use the section of road they're on except for them, and I don't think that's very nice at all. I try to put a stop to that nonsense in the only way this game lets me; no one can be reasoned with, it seems.

…I do try to avoid fighting when I can, though. There are these guys called Wandering Nobles, and the unarmed ones don't try to kill me, but they do seem terrified of me for some reason. I usually leave them be; I think they're undead, so they're clumsy, slow, very uncoordinated, and not especially bright. But sometimes, they get ahold of a torch or a sword or some magic spell that they can derpily swing around, and then they think they're some Hot Shit™, and when they get like that, they won't leave me alone.

I would like to say to them, "Guy… my dude. C'mon. Please just chill. Please stop swinging around the sharp pointy thing - you're gonna hurt yourself. Seriously bruh, I just got rid of that very murdery dragon over there, and I promise that you are not stronger than a dragon; can't we just be cool? Let's just be cool, okay?" But I can't say that, and so they do not chill, they do not stop swinging the sharp pointy thing, they continue to be VERY not cool, and they will chase me if I try to run, which is counterproductive, so all I can do from there is "axe" them very politely to stop.

I think I might stop playing this game, though. There are a few unsavory aspects of this game that I had forgotten about. One of them is the situation at a place called Castle Morne. The context and story is complicated, but the short version is that there are living things called "Misbegotten". I hate that they're called this, so I will call them "Crucible-Touched" instead. The "Crucible-Touched" come from something called "The Crucible", and that is, essentially, a "primordial form of the Erdtree". I have no idea what that means, other than the "primordial form" still having something called a "Death Rune", I guess. The "Erdtree" is, essentially, the "Crucible", but with the "death" part of the life cycle removed. Though my interpretation might not be exactly right; the lore is a little hard to understand, admittedly, and lots of it is left intentionally vague, and there are mistranslations. Weird things sometimes happens when you try to translate old-timey Japanese into old-timey English.

Here is what the "Crucible-Touched" look like:

The lighting in this picture I found on the internet is weird, but don't let it fool you! As you can see, they have it all! They have wings to fly with, claws to defend themselves with, nice big jaws to eat with (as someone with a small and misshapen jaw, I envy this a little...), efficient legs to walk, jump, and run with, good feet for even weight distribution, opposable thumbs to build and manipulate objects with, good, smart, sentient brains to learn stuff with, strong and agile muscles to enact their will, cute little chubby faces, and they're soft and fluffy with their feathers and fur!! Literally, what is there not to like??? I cannot find anything wrong with any of this!! If there is a flaw in this living thing, I don't know where it is!!

So the people of this world think of the "Erdtree" as a refined "Crucible", and they also think that anything that comes of the "Crucible" is inferior, tainted, impure, and reminiscent of devolution. These "Crucible-Touched" were once seen as divine, but that changed once the "Crucible" became the "Erdtree", and then all of a sudden they were seen as bad, rotten, filthy things, and subsequently treated like slaves and abused horribly. And it really sucks, because there is one guy who is "Crucible-Touched", and his name is Hewg, and he's absolutely delightful and brilliant and really good at what he does. It doesn't make sense to me that he gets treated as less than a person. It's not right. I don't like it.

So the "Crucible-Touched" at Castle Morne revolted. Tired of being enslaved, abused, degraded, and tortured day in and day out, they lashed back at their tormentors because their only other option was to try to go out on their own into a world that is a death trap. The end result of that is that they'll either be killed by something that hates them just because of how they were born, or they'll be hunted down by the people whose abuse they're trying to escape from. In my world, it is said that the first duty of a wrongly-imprisoned person is to escape. As such, slaves must escape bondage and abuse by whatever means that are available to them - that is the way of things. As such, I have absolutely no interest in fighting the "Crucible-Touched" - none whatsoever.

But I do have an interest in delivering a letter written by one of the escaped nobles of that castle, who I guess had no idea how horribly the "servants" were being treated. It's complicated. I want to deliver the letter, but the "Crucible-Touched", who I have no quarrel with, are hostile to me on sight, which is natural; goodness knows how many decades they have of being mistreated by humans, and they have no way of knowing that I mean them no harm. The letter is from a young woman named Irina to her father Edgar, who is the commander of the castle. Irina just wants Edgar to forget about the castle and go live peacefully with her somewhere else. But Edgar is going to want the sword that was stolen by the leader of the "Crucible-Touched" before he will leave to go be with his daughter.

…But… I have no interest in killing a justifiably angry living thing over some stupid sword. I'd much rather negotiate for the sword - the "Crucible-Touched" get to keep the castle in exchange for the sword and letting Edgar go be with his daughter. Seems like it should be a fairly simple exchange. Kinda like this:

"Hey there, Mr. Uprising Leader Dude. It's cool. I'm cool. We're cool. Everything's cool. I just wanna get that Edgar guy outta your hair; he and his ilk were total poop-waffles to you and to your brethren, and that sucks and I hate it and it never should have happened, and I'm sorry for all the suffering you've endured up until this point. Things in the world are all fucked up because of the Erdtree, and it's really unfair and you have every right to be upset; nobody should be making you suffer for the nature of your existence. But he ain't gonna leave until he's got that sword. So how about this - you gimme the sword so I can give it to him, and you get to have the castle and Edgar goes very far away and nobody bothers you or your kin ever again; you can turn this place into a safe haven for others who are Crucible-Touched, and if anyone tries to bother any of you here just for existing, then you just gimme a holler and I'll come a-runnin' to help fend off any ne'er-do-wells who are giving you problems. Deal?"

Unfortunately, this game does not allow for anything other than fighting. And… if you complete this questline, Irina ends up dying, and Edgar ends up going insane. So essentially, if I try to get the abusers away from the abused, bad things happen. It is better if I do nothing. But then if I do nothing, there is still suffering. And… I guess it just kinda… seems futile.

My "big bad power fantasy" is to be able to help everyone and to come up with peaceful solutions to things. I had forgotten in this game just how seldom it's possible to do either of those. Even if you do try to help in the ways that are made available to you as a player, it usually ends up in tragedy anyhow, and that's… really not a whole lot of fun for me.

I wanna fix it. It shouldn't have to be like this. The "Erdtree" gives "order" by oppressing a whole heck of a lot of different kinds of living (or unliving) things and by suppressing free will and perpetuating cycles of trauma, and it ain't right. But then, if you break the Erdtree, everything dissolves and there is no such thing as comfort or joy anymore…

…I think I'm all done with it. I'm gonna choose a different game, because this one is depressing, and the world I live in is already depressing enough as it is; my planet is already dying and there's tragedy and cruelty everywhere you look and there's absolutely fucking nothing I can do about any of it because I am just one insignificant voice in a sea of 8 billion voices, with not a lot of resources at my disposal, and living in a body that most people think is on the lower end of the "worth" spectrum. I am nothing and no one in this place, and my voice doesn't really count for anything.

...Given this, sometimes I wonder why I even bother to keep writing, because I can't imagine anything will come of it. But I'm going to keep at it anyway, because... what else is there that I can do? I can't do nothing. I have to try. I have to care...

Anyway, all of that is why it's necessary to keep looking for the sparks of joy and beauty in everything, no matter how small those sparks are, or else the sheer weight of the despair in this place will crush the life right out of you and extinguish the light in your eyes. In short: I don't need my temporary electronic escape from reality to thematically resemble real life; it kinda defeats the purpose, ya know? I want to be able to DO SOMETHING about the suffering around me, and if not even the make-pretend space will allow me to do that, then what's the freaking point??? If I wanted to feel helpless and unable to do good things, I can just read the damn news. At least then I don't also have to become increasingly skilled at very difficult make-pretend combat in order to chase that nihilistic feeling of futility.

Guess I'll end this one here. Maybe tomorrow I'll try to create something. I don't know how I manage to feel so busy and so idle at the exact same time, but here I am doing it anyway, and trying hard not to get too caught up in the guilt of it all. I know I'm overwhelmed, but it's hard to pinpoint why exactly. Hm.

Well anyway. Do stay safe out there, won't you? Please remember that you're a person no matter how you were made. Those "Misbegotten" are NOT misbegotten, and I hate that they're called that. And you're not misbegotten, either, okay? Please do your best to know that. Do everything in your power to understand that you are a good thing. Because… I am still here because of you, and I like to think sometimes like I am a good thing. On a good day, anyway, I can sometimes think I am a good thing.

I love you. I'll write again tomorrow.

Your friend, Lumine

[cyberphuck]

I've been working hard, I've earned an infodump about my comfort character, right? The blorbo I put in Situations? Yeah!

SIT DOWN @qthewhatever IT'S TIME TO LEARN ABOUT ISILUD TENGILLE

(under a cut because I have *manners.*)

Isilud Tengille!

(we don't talk about his psx translation name!)

There he is, the boy! That's it, just a lil green dude! He's in three scenes! (people counting: abandoning Wiegraf and bleeding out both count as half a scene.)

Isilud is a Templar Knight working for the final fantasy tactics Church, sent-- along with his good buddy Wiegraf Folles-- to steal the Virgo Stone, a priceless religious artifact. He's 16 and he loves his job, which he got through nepotism (his dad is the leader of the Templar).

You first encounter Isilud at the monastery where Virgo is housed, where he casually stabs a defenseless old priest before stepping over his body and running to the lower vaults to grab the loot. Your main character charges down after him, and you smack into him while he's coming back up the stairs with a suspicious Virgo-shaped lump in his pocket.

Tactics likes to do this thing where it locks you into several (usually pretty difficult) battles in a row; Isilud is the second of these at the monastery. He's got a gang of both regular and Grasshopper knights crawling all over his battle map, which is a library where you can walk between or on top of bookshelves. Isilud is pretty much just a knight with rainbow sprinkles, but-- for some insane reason, as a boss whose fight takes place *underground*-- has both the "jump" and "ignore elevation" abilities, usually reserved for grasshopper knights who shoot 60 feet in the air and then land on you to deal damage.

(The jump ability is fun and useful if you're using it. When enemies use it it's fucking annoying, because you can't hit them while they're in the air.)

Anyway, Isilud's response to the main character's query of "why are you working for the Church, which the plot has established sucks a lot" is "the Church does not suck, in fact it's awesome, we want less corruption and more equality, and you should be helping us do that!"

(unbeknownst to Isilud, every single word in that sentence is wrong.)

Main character points out that Isilud literally just punctured a priest, and that's not very equality of him, but Isilud shrugs and says "you gotta break a couple of eggs to make an omelet. Also, you murdered a Cardinal."

("The end does not justify the means, do you even hear yourself, people are fucking dying" is the main theme of the game.)

The main character knows that the holy stones, including Virgo, that the Church is collecting are actually chunks of evil rock that turn people into demons. When he gently breaks this to Isilud, he says "NUH UH" and runs away.

That is the only battle you have against Isilud.

Isilud sprints for the exit, grabs main character's sister as a hostage, drags her out of the monastery, steps over a dying Wiegraf--

"Wiegraf, are you ok?!"

--and then makes his escape, only to be IMMEDIATELY stopped and taken prisoner by another dude.

(I am not even going to attempt to explain the different factions in final fantasy tactics, suffice to say this other dude is not on Isilud's side but he's not on your side either.)

Much later, Isilud is confronted by his father, who's just found out that Isilud lost all the special holy rocks he was carrying when he was captured. Enraged, his dad slaps him across the face and the animation for this is fantastic. I used to have a gif of it but idk where it is now, so here's one of Wiegraf killing his own dude:

And here's one of Delita punching Argath:

Which is a fan favorite.

Moving on.

After Isilud's dad is finished performing percussive maintenance on his son, he turns to the other people in the room, says "you fucked around, now it's time to find out," turns into a demon (hey, the evil demon stones really do make people into demons, who knew) and kills everyone in the room.

Including Isilud.

Isilud's final scene is of him being comforted by the sister he took hostage at the monastery. He begs her to tell her brother "you were right, sorry I tried to kill you" and then complains weakly that it's gotten really dark, and he can't move his arm to grab his sword (he also coughs up blood, another choice piece of sprite animation).

Then he dies.

(Later, HIS sister shows up to avenge his death, main character turns her around and points her at the right people, they go on to kill evil dad and save the ORIGINAL sister, and then everyone gets crushed under a cave-in and/or is trapped in purgatory forever.)

(It's a great game.)