#dude i love error's color palette

[xxwish-bonexx]

First time actually drawing two people at once, so sorry if the heights look weird

[godhead-of-turntech-variety]

It is currently 5:33AM on August 16th. I'm writing this first thing in the morning before work, so forgive any spelling errors. First of all, take into account the biome in which acacia wood is found, the Savannah. Savannahs in real life are very warm and hot, and sometimes a dude needs some goddamn air in his house okay. Also, when you build a house with only acacia wood, it's a nice color palette. Maybe if you were a competent builder you'd know that. Mic drop. I'm not writing more than this I have work in like an hour. Also acacia wood irl looks nice. Fuck you

holy fuck the madman did it. i respect you for that. however i have some combatting words you british fuck. dude duh acacia wood looks good irl but we arent talking about irl are we. irl acacia wood doesnt look like someone dyed a plank of wood with sniper tf2's hyper-dehydrated piss. this accounts for your whole thing about heat too. dog yknow where else is hot? the fucking jungle and jungle wood doors look NORMAL instead of looking like you picked a door off of arkham asylums disused rusted over sister complex meant to store folks like kermit joker.

if YOU were a competent builder youd know that if a blocks only synergy is with itself its a shit building block. all good wooden houses or really any build in general has multiple types of blocks that go into it and acacia wood clashes so disgustingly with any other wood or really any convenient material that its as good as dogshit. if you were in a workplace and you only worked well with yourself but your job was to fuckin cooperate with people youd be fired asap. if i get online and see someones house made out of that pure highlighter orange shit im going to get banned from the server for 'firing' said house from its job of having four walls and a roof. maybe you could use red sandstone or something but who in the love of fuck is gonna be thinking oh im gonna use red fucking sandstone in my survival build. nobody. nobody gives a shit about red sandstone. nobody should give a shit about it. its lame and so is the badlands. mic drop. fuck you too.

[purposelynana]

What Did I Watch: #32

This week, what? Been drowning in work and Eid. But I'm back.

Step By Step was a nightmare and it was fucking good. Nightmare is such an understatement. It was thorough portrayal on being a corporate slave. That's why I called it nightmare. And a blessing.

For the longest we'd been served by half-assed representation about office workers. Before Step By Step, there was A Boss and A Babe, and I swear to God I should know from the title alone, this would be a complete trash. And also Bed Friend, where definitely the focus wasn't on the office. Too bad. I know the sex scene was the talk of the town, but well lemme emphasize once more, if you want to watch porn, just watch porn, instead of pushing porn onto contemporary show. Or at least if you take out the porn, it still makes a decent story.

Yet Step By Step is different. It was scary because how similar it was to my office life. I had this unsettling feeling while watching it. I don't think it was bad per se, but definitely that was something I don't want to repeat. Yes, this is written by someone who has been in the office, worked in the office and maybe get abused in the office. And for the love of God, thank you for its depiction of office love story that it's believable. Love in the office does happen very slowly, delicate (dude it'll involve HR at some point it has to be delicate), and full of understanding.

Such a good watch.

Skam-fication of Korean BL.

The Eight Sense is why we need Evak-coded characters grace our screen. The moment Jihyun and Jaewon met is a constant reminder that to me Skam will always be the greatest queer media out there. Because it was true to themselves. And heck, I don't think anything will ever get close to it, until now. Wow.

There was no necessary side couple. Weird filler. Every scene has its purposes and actually push the narrative. The characters did develop. Great cinematography and directing. Phenomenal acting by rookies??? And I had the loudest sigh after finishing it. Thank God for your mercy.

I got shredded in pieces, then stitched bit by bit, and the wound healed in the most pleasant way. I lived by angsty stories and beautiful resolve. From time to time, I wonder when will we get a story that it's just beautifully heartbreaking and still giving a sense of hope at the end of its run. Maybe it will take so many years and a great deal of trial and error until finally we're going to come across something like this.

And finally on a whim, I decided to watch La Pluie. No idea why. Perhaps because the color palette on it seemed soft. Or the idea of having to listen to your soulmate on the rain sounded too whack but somehow I was convinced of the world building that had been going on in the back. Plus, this little pulp never wasted any moment and I appreciate that. There are plots going on in the times when BL just having only vibes without substantial context.

My only beef for now, is the sound. The background sound was too loud, sometimes buried the surrounding sound that supposed to come out. Such as when they talked on the side of the road, I barely couldn't hear any cars or as simple as other people talks. It lessen the believability of this world.

Yet, it's still a good recommendation. Up till now it doesn't make my blood boil for having some stupidity shit that no one couldn't explain. Fingers crossed it could land smoothly. Well somehow it makes me think why I couldn't accept Oxygen but I could embrace this. Big question indeed.

There will be rants coming shortly....

I promised myself to watch Our Skyy then naaah. I kept thinking about the way GMM does things. I've never seen an entertainment agency that bad of handling the misbehavior of their actors. The very obvious way that the only thing they care is just making more money from shitty fan services and merchandises. To make more money from parasocial relationship that they build over time. I don't care if in real life the actors actually close or not. We suppose to don't care in the first place. It's their privacy, in which should not be trading commodities. It's fucked up. Our Skyy is a trading commodity. Well, it has always been trading commodities. But at least don't make that obvious. Dolls, blanket, snacks, it's not fucking smooth at all. I'm bothered. It's not helping the narrative. The narrative is already over. It is a walking ads. That's for sure. You're fucked when the dolls is the one taking over the discussion rather than the story. But well, these days who cares right? People need money, not some substantial storytelling. Not every production house can act like HBO right?

[mxgicdave]

dude. DUDE. your procreate skills are incredible. which brushes/textures/anything do you use? can you describe the way you pick colors and blend them? the carlos and charles ferrari painting and that "earthy toned daniel" were my favourite. and i love your fishermen series. its so beautifully raw

thank you!! procreate is my absolute favorite, ive never enjoyed a drawing program as much as i have this one.

Most of the time i'm using procreate standard brushes! Most of my line work is done with the streaks calligraphy brush, the shale calligraphy brush, or the syrup inking brush. For my painting I use the nikko rull painting brush. I love how it layers and the texture it has! Sometimes I switch it up, but mainly I use the brushes included in procreate. The pieces you mentioned, I specifically used the gouache painting brush, and then a variety of the charcoal brushes.

For my coloring it's honestly just been a long process of developing this style, I do a lot of studies and a lot of experimenting. I love painting skin, and would describe my process to being very similar to that of a lot of oil painters, in terms of how i set up my palette and approach my portraits. Even just searching on youtube and watching how oil portrait artists work is really influential to me.

As far as picking overall color schemes for a piece, just trial and error, and I like to think I have a decent eye for it. And a great texture resource is texturelabs.org, tons of final overlays and such to throw on top of things. If you do have money to spend, I also highly recommend true grit texture supply co...I own a ton of their brushes/effects and theyre great for adding those final extra bits of life.

Thanks so much for enjoying my work and hope this wasn't too long of a read!! Happy drawing, wish you the best in creating!

[astraldrake]

thoughts on elden ring bcs i feel like i have to put them somewhere fair warning for spoilers

- much more colorful than ds3 (low bar i know but goodness the difference is stunning when you go from one to the other) -im so glad they gave us the ability to jump. like wow i can actually go up stuff now?? im not trapped if i fall down a small ledge?? sweet. - the ambient music in caelid makes my skin crawl (complimentary) also they really nailed the vibe of it as this horrible rotting place that wants you dead. also all the giant mushrooms and stuff everywhere, love those. - speaking of, i love the lil wolf howls in the raya lucaria ambient music. (also the overall color palette and aesthetic and stuff 10/10 blue good, sparkly rocks good) - radahn's fight was fun and chaotic (once i had enough health that he wasn't 2 shotting me right as i walked in) i liked that you could just keep summoning backup throughout the fight so you had a near endless stream of cannon fodder help. - rykards fight was a pain in the ass though, idk if it was just me but i struggled to get the timing down on when and how to stun him. (also, i really expected his voice to be more,,, idk intimidating?? he just sounds like he's talking with his mouth full.) - morgott wasn't too bad (although it was also the first fight i did while having a great rune active so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯) (should also note i beat him before i took down rykard) i will say i didn't expect his lore to be so sad. Like shit dude I feel bad about killing you now. - im really enjoying the wide variety of stuff i can do with incantations, i can summon lightning, throw fireballs, temporarily give myself a tail, and turn my head into a dragon's, it's great. - i have no clue what is happening like 60% of the time. i feel like i probably missed some story stuff somewhere down the line. (i spent so much time dicking around with other stuff i would not be surprised) - I kinda miss destiny's more expansive lore entries. I get that that's just not the way these games tend to operate when it comes to story, like i know they like to be vague and leave stuff up to interpretation but sometimes i want more than flavor text yknow? I want to read more about these characters and events. (and yes i know ao3 exists but diving for good fic takes time and trial and error, that and i want a more consistent understanding of canon than what assorted fic would be able to provide. ah well, when there is no canon, you make your own.)

- I wish id gotten more time to talk w/ melina before she died. the cutscene was really nice and it felt like it implied a lot but i just didn't get to hang out with her enough for it to hit as hard as i think the creators intended it to. (or maybe im just more emotionally numb in general these days idk.) - that said, i really like the conversation you can have with her if you beat the boss at the end of the shunning grounds. "however ruined this world has become, however mired in torment and despair... life endures. births continue. There is beauty in that, is there not?" like fuck dude!! you're right!! there is beauty in that!! ( i then proceeded not to go looking for the frenzied flame, and instead just took the item in the chest and the incantation i got off the boss and left. ) - also i did some pvp invasion stuff for varre's questline since i wanted to see if anything in or around that area would have more fun blood flame incantations. (I have found none so far but i did find mohg!! who i have not fought yet.) Given my experience with pvp being primarily overwatch and destiny ( very different genre i know, but still) i kind of expected to just get repeatedly curbstomped by tryhards, but i actually didn't have too bad a time. I even manged to kill a person (or three. look three out of five is a pretty good track record for me ok??).

anyways i think that's all i have to say about that.

[so-i-did-this-thing]

Bro how are you so good at making shit. You can just want to make something and suddenly you can and you have it now. That's so badass. I want to learn how. What the fuck dude. I love your content

Thank you! Seeing repeat likes on my stuff is instant serotonin for me. :)

So, on Making Stuff. Being older helps, in that I have built up some experience and resources. But if you’re serious about wanting to learn how to do Stuff, it’s all about being good at How to Teach Yourself.

Advice under the cut.

I could talk about this a long time, but here’s the salient points.

How to Teach Yourself to Make Cool Stuff

1) Cultivate your tastes. Just collect a bunch of shit you enjoy. Pinterest and tumblr are great for this because you can organize stuff by tags and add your own commentary.

2) Describe why you like the things you like. Get as specific as you can. Don’t just say, “I like the color palette”. What about the colors do you like? What kind of tones are they? Do they contrast? Are they unusual for the subject matter, materials, or style?

Challenge yourself to write 10 specific things you like about every thing you favorite/re-pin. Also include some things you don’t care for or would like to see done different.

Be specific -- you’re trying to figure out how your brain works, and learning how to describe your tastes will help you research how to make similar stuff. This is hard, but you gotta do it!

3) Learn what materials, tools, and techniques are and what they’re called.

You’re learning names of stuff not to ace any pop quiz, but rather, to build your vocabulary so you can ask better questions and do better research.

How do you learn this stuff? Asking people is helpful, yes, but what if you don’t even know who to ask yet? Search for content using the words you know now -- you’ll expand your vocab as you go. Stuff like “leather bag diy” or “how to draw with a digital tablet”. Don’t be afraid to use super basic search terms. If you don’t know what a grommet is, a search for “hardware for holes in leather” will lead you to the term pretty quickly. Just keep slamming search queries against the wall until you start getting consistent results.

Then:

Watch videos of people making things you like.

Read forum and other social media posts.

Read tutorials on sites like Instructables, even if they are beyond your skill level.

You’ll notice I haven’t suggested buying books and tools yet. This is because you are still figuring out what will even be useful for you. Just be a sponge.

4) Seek out the pros and learn from them. As you’ve been doing your research and collecting inspiration, you’ve probably noticed certain names coming up over and over. See what sort of training they offer. Classes are ideal, but training can also take the form of videos and books.

For example, Tandy Leather offers in-person beginner’s classes at their stores for pretty cheap (about the cost of the tools you get to keep). Black Raven Academy does a pre-recorded leatherworking video series, with access to the instructor throughout the course. If you’re into EVA foam, Evil Ted doesn’t do classes, but has very comprehensive (and free) videos. Some Makers have books. Etc.

You want to look for professionals who use projects as a means to teach you techniques you can apply to your own work. It’s the whole “learning a recipe” vs “learning how to cook” philosophy.

Also, don’t limit yourself to people who make exactly what you want to make -- I love Kamui Cosplay’s content because she shows off some very useful techniques. Ironically, I probably wouldn’t cosplay as a single thing she does, because I have different interests. I still admire and learn from her work, though.

Don’t go hog wild buying books and supplies -- pick a professional or two and absorb their content until you feel almost confident to try making something.

5) Make a Thing! I said “almost confident” in step #4, because perfection is the enemy of Good. Just jump in. You’ll probably suck, that’s ok. Try to complete the Thing. Small or Big, you know yourself better than I do on what motivates you best.

6) Review your Thing. You know how in step #2 you learned how to be specific with what you liked and didn’t like? Be specific with BOTH about your own work. Know how in step #3 you broadened your vocabulary? Now use that to research how to make your Thing better. I’ll bet you tons of folks had similar learning experiences and got good advice.

7) Practice often, but practice thoughtfully! Practice isn’t just repetition. Building motor memory is important, but it’s meaningless if you don’t practice thoughtfully. The purpose of practice is to figure out root causes of your problems and the best ways to correct errors and reinforce what you do well. I play the oboe professionally. When I practice difficult passages, I don’t just start slow and speed up, one metronome click at a time. That’s how you get frustrated and train your fingers to screw up every damned time. So, I’ll play starting in the middle of a run. I’ll play in a different key. I’ll play with the entirely wrong rhythms. I’ll memorize it. I’ll play when I’m dog tired and standing on one foot. I’ll do a bunch of things to figure out exactly why something is hard -- it’s seldom as simple as “it’s too fast”. (Usually it’s because I’m uncomfortable with a fingering, my hand position is bad, I’m being lazy and don’t even know what all the notes even are, I’m not using enough wind, my oboe is out of adjustment, etc.)

15 min of thoughtful practice is so much more valuable than hours of rote exercises.

Practice can be fruitful, too! When I do projects like design matchbooks, stickers, and stamps? That’s a form of practice for me -- you can practice skills by making things. And sometimes the most important skill to practice is finishing things.

Be honest with yourself and always remember to not focus solely on the negative -- always look for stuff you like about your creations.

8) Experiment! Need to substitute materials? Have a cool idea? Experiment, review, and iterate.

9) Rinse and repeat. Making stuff is all about continual learning, and that always starts at the beginning. Go back to Step #1. And even learn about Crafts you don’t plan to participate in, because inspiration is everywhere. :)

[demonfox38]

Completed - Faxanadu

So, at the end of my last post game evaluation, I brought up "Faxanadu" as a better alternative to "Zelda II: The Adventure of Link." I honestly don't know if that's a controversial opinion or not. On the surface, I can see that raising the gall of a lot of dyed-in-the-wool Nintendo fans. Like, how dare I lift the third-party product over something created by Nintendo itself. And, to be honest, I can feel that contradiction. "Faxanadu" looks worse, sounds worse, and plays just a bit stiffer than "Zelda II." Why would I like this game more if it is an inferior product?

Well, in this case, it all comes down to attitude.

"Faxanadu" is a weird little offshoot from a prestigious pedigree. Directly, it's a spin-off/side story to "Dragon Slayer II: Xanadu" of the "Dragon Slayer" series. I'm guessing that if you are as familiar with Japanese computer RPGs from the 1980s—that is to say, knowledgeable by the name alone—you might recognize its sister games "Sorcerian" for its lovely soundtrack and "Tokyo Xanadu" from a list of titles available on Steam. But, hey. TL;DR—"Dragon Slayer II: Xanadu" sold 400,000 game copies in 1985, so Nintendo was all too happy to get a slice of that pie. In the translation from computer to Famicom ("Faxanadu"? Get it?), the adaptation lost its RPG battles and became a more stream-lined action platformer with some vestigial RPG elements.

Sounds strange? It kind of is. Just think "Zelda II" without death pits.

Adding to the uniqueness of this game is its peculiar plot. In "Faxanadu", your PC is charged with stopping a horde of extra-terrestrial forces and dwarves hopped up on meteor dust from killing all of the elves living alongside them on the World Tree. It's like the Yggdrasil myth meets "Night of the Comet." Very, very 1980s in its mix of mythology and weird space shit.

The game itself is as you might expect from an action platformer. Move around locations, purchase equipment, fight, keep moving until you find the final boss. The weirdness of it flakes off a little bit at a time. Like, those experience points you accumulate? They don't go into stat improvements. You talk to a guru (a priest dude) to bank them in and earn a title. This will aid you when/if you die, as the game will drop your corpse off at the last guru you visited with a preset amount of money based on how awesome your title is. Dying can be a great way to warp around, as well as to get your ass back to full health for free. Hell, you don't even lose accumulated items if you die. (Although, if you use a key, that’s gone for good. You may have to purchase a few extra if you die in the wrong spot.) Death isn't always the best strategy, but it can help in the right circumstances.

Frankly, the game is very chill about your failure. Pretty much everything else, too.

The mellow atmosphere of "Faxanadu" is something to be appreciated. Even if most people have given up on their home being saved, they're more than alright sitting around, smoking and drinking and chatting you up. (God bless, there are so many smokers in this game.) People are constantly telling you to not try too hard to save their asses, as well as encouraging meditation and keeping calm in the face of defeat. Not to be crass, but it makes you wonder if people have something other than tobacco in their cigarettes.

Let's be honest. If they were toking, it would explain a few laughable bugs.

Oh, man. You've got to hear about these errors. Like, I know register mathematics and assembly coding is a bitch, but this game makes some choice mistakes. Like, that title system I mentioned earlier? You're supposed to be given more time to use special items like hourglasses and winged boots when your title increases in rank. In execution, the opposite happens. The more monsters you kill, the less time you're given on the clock to use cool shit. It doesn't ever lock you out of an area, but it is something to keep in mind. Additionally, there's this pendant that you're supposed to get in the second area that should increase your attack power. However, the game already thinks you have that equipped at the start, so when you get it, that attack boost gets turned off. That's right. Take the pretty necklace and you do less damage. I mean, hey. You don't want to get it accidentally broken, do you?

This game isn't particularly bright in the aesthetics department, either. Most of the color palette is brown, green, cream, and salmon. Character portraits have this weird animation when they talk to you where their blinking and speaking is desynced in a disturbing fashion. Hell, of the allegedly dwarven enemies, I can only point to one or two enemies that I believe are dwarves. The music is a little better than average for the NES, but nothing I'd put in a playlist (minus the opening theme, which is an awesome fantasy rip.) I mean, it's sure better than the "Dragon Slayer II: Xanadu" footage I saw on YouTube, but it's not exactly a feast for the eyes and ears. Even platforming and movement of your PC is a bit stiff. Also, this uses password systems to save instead of batteries. Which, hey, fine by me. But, it's definitely cheaper than using a battery, and I know a lot of people find passwords to be difficult or annoying to use.

So, if this is an inferior looking and feeling product in comparison with "Zelda II", why do I like this one more?

Well, the chillness factor, for one. The difficulty in this game is much more manageable as well. You can carry several healing potions on you, and there are classes of enemies you can farm for food to get your health up in dire straits. Hell, there's even an elixir that will auto-pop on you if you take too much damage. Additionally, screwing up platforming doesn't automatically kill you. It might make you have to take a few rooms to get back to where you were trying to go, but it's not a kiss of death.

Yeah, this one's easier, for sure. But, I don't feel like it's purposefully wasting my time, either. The cash for most equipment upgrades can be ground out within ten or fifteen minutes, if you're willing to put in the time. You can skip certain locations, if you really don't want to deal with their hassle. Granted, skipping too much could cost you the best equipment, and you certainly need that to fight the final boss. But, the trials you face to get that aren't the worst. Hell, getting the Dragon Slayer itself becomes retroactively sad and metal once you figure out just what you were fighting to get it.

There are important things to do, sure. Nobody's on your ass if you screw up. The NPCs want you to succeed, and they want you to do so with a clear head (and an empty purse, in some cases.) It's the kind of game where you take an afternoon or two to knock out. Nothing overwrought, nothing dramatic. Just you and a handful of Keebler Elves fighting back cosmic horrors that have taken over the neighbors.

It would be interesting to know the scale of this world. The dwarves don't seem to be that much shorter than the elves, so I have to wonder if everybody's just four feet tall or something.

I'm almost certain that I picked this up off eBay decades ago after reading either a genre list or recommendation list on GameFAQs. Even now, the price on it is cheap. (Of course, ROMs are free, but it's a $10.00 cart.) This was a better game than what I would normally get out of my other source of NES games—that is to say, the K-Mart bargain bin (which may have been leftover stock the company bought from FuncoLand? Not sure.) Long story short, this game is relatively short, cheap, and fulfilling. If you need something retro and easy going, this game might do the trick. It might not blow your socks off, but it won't blow your head off, either.

[hazelandglasz]

Stammi Vicino 2.0

I got inspired by an idea, and then the plot bunny just ran with it …

AKA The IT AU no one ever asked for

AKA My pleasure writing ;)

On AO3

Contrary to popular beliefs around the hallways of The Rink,Viktor is not completely incompetent around computers.

He didn’t become the “hero” of his department by being entirely clueless around those electronic beasts.

But.

This time around, no matter how hard he tries, no matter what he tries--and it ranges from unplugging his whole system and plugging it back off to singing a lullaby to it--, the report that needs to be on Yakov’s desk in … oh Lord, thirty-five minutes, simply won’t. Fucking. Print.

“Arrrgh!”

Plisetsky rolls away from his cubicle to glare at Viktor. “Do you mind keeping it down, old man?” he growls. “Some of us do work around here.”

Viktor wordlessly growls back, raking his fingers through his hair. First of all, he is not old, fuck you very much, and second of all, he would so work too if he could.

“Vitya, just call IT, that’s why they lurk around in the basement,” Georgi says over the wall that separates their two desks.

Georgi is right.

He’s the voice of reason, as melodramatic as he may be in his color palettes sometimes.

“IT, Chulanont speaking, how may I help you?”

“Hello, hi, this is Nikiforov, station 1804?”

“Yes?”

There is a smirk behind that cheery tone, Viktor doesn’t need a conf call to know it.

He may use his break time to watch videos of dogs. Maybe. So sue him.

“There is a problem with my printer.”

“Any error message on your screen?”

“No--nothing happens.”

“Did you try to turn it o--”

“Yes!”

“Alright, buddy, I’ll send someone within the hour. Slow down with the caffeine, alright?”

Before Viktor can reply or, you know, defend himself, Chulanont hangs up on him.

The little--

“Chulanont told you to untwist your panties?”

“Yes, Mila.”

“He has a point.”

“Can you kindly mind your own panties and leave mine as twisted as they want to be?”

“Kinky.”

“Mila, do you need another visit from HR?”

“Hmmm, yeah, I’d say I do, it’s been a while since Ms. Crispino paid us a visit …”

Michele’s angry eyes appear above the partition at the mention of his sister before slowly sinking back down, and Mila clears her throat, twisting her mouth in embarrassment.

Her eyes land behind Viktor, and her smirk makes a comeback. “Viktor, did IT say the name of the guy coming to help you?”

“Nope.”

“Hm-hm.”

Viktor swivels around on his chair to follow her line of sight and when his eyes find the guy who stepped out of the elevator, fixing his hair and pushing his glasses up his nose, he lurches forward mid-turn and faceplants.

God. Fucking. Bless.

The Mystery Dancer from the company’s Christmas party is … not looking as mysterious and daring as he did back then--now that was a night to remember, the way they danced together through all the songs that played, laughing like Viktor hadn’t laughed in God knows how long, smiling and brushing fingers …--but still as captivating and interesting with the thick frames hiding his beautiful eyes.

“Yuuri!”

Viktor may have had his fair share of champagne that night, but he didn’t forget that name.

Which made his inability to find Yuuri in the personnel's log even more frustrating.

The man seems surprised that Viktor knows his name, and a oh so pretty blush spreads on his cheeks--really, Viktor would love to observe the way it flares like pink paint in a glass of water. With his fingers, his lips …

“Mr. Nikiforov? Station 1804?”

Oh.

“Y-yes, that … that’s me.”

A small smile, one that screams of discomfort. “I’m Yuuri. Katsuki. I’m from IT?”

Viktor can only nod as he stands to let Yuuri sits in his chair. Yuuri starts typing some commands and codes while explaining in a soft voice what he’s doing, but there is a distant ringing sound in Viktor’s ear at the moment.

He doesn’t remember.

“See, Viktor, your computer was not connected to the same network as your printer, I don’t know what happened there …”

He doesn’t remember me, our dance, the whole night, and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about him.

“Viktor?”

I know it happened, Chris has pictures. I was ready to take him on all the dates and he. Doesn’t. Even. Remember.

“Viktor? Mr. Nikiforov? Sir?”

Oh Lord …

“Ow.”

Viktor shakes his head, rubbing at the back of it. On the floor, next to his foot, there is a little black cat still holding some paper clips.

And Yuri is glaring at him. “Can you stop being pathetic for a second, old man, and answer the guy so he can return to the cave where he belongs?”

Yuuri’s face matches Viktor’s scarf now. “Yuri!”

Both men look at him and Viktor has to pinch the bridge of his nose. “This is going to get confusing very fast,” he mumbles. “Yuri, you’ll have to find a nickname or something?”

“Or you can just call us by our last names, like a professional human being.”

“Nah, that’s no fun, right Yuuri?”

Yuuri looks back at him and shrugs. “I guess .First names are … good?”

“That’s the spirit!”

“You’re out of your mind.”

“Relax, coolio, Yurio!”

“Don’t you dare.”

Mila’s head pops out again from her cubicle. “Yurio? I approve.”

Yuri--no, Yurio now--groans and disappears back between the wall of his space. “Fine, do whatever you want. And bring me back my paper clips holder.”

“After the violence you used to throw it at me?”

A small sound, innocent and so tentative Viktor could have missed it, stops him mid-drama.

A giggle.

From Yuuri.

That’s fucking adorable, and Viktor is going to combust.

“I understand now why some days are not so productive,” Yuuri says as he stands up.

Why is he standing up?

“Seems like your printer is working now … Viktor.”

Oh, my name sounds pretty in his mouth.

Nope, not going there.

“You’re a miracle worker, Yuuri,” Viktor exclaims instead. “How can I thank you?”

Yuuri tilts his head to the side and brushes a strand of hair away from his face with a crooked smile. “You just did.”

And with that, he’s gone, and Viktor lets himself drop in his chair, looking at him go.

Not a bad sight to fixate upon.

“You are pathetic--oww, you asshole, you nearly hit me!”

---

Now that Viktor has found Yuuri again--he didn’t even consider IT to be the place where his mystery man was hiding, and he will make amends for that neglect--he cannot fathom the idea of not seeing him.

Yes, he does have a melodramatic streak to compete with Georgi, why do you ask.

Lunch hour doesn’t work, because apparently, the whole IT team--all three of them, it’s like their computers are guarded by an adorable Cerberus.

(Yes, Viktor did mark the page for the IT team in the company’s mug book. why do you ask?)

--seems to take their lunch break at odd hours.

Whyyyy?

“Because it makes sense for them to run diagnosis and tests while we mere humans are out for lunch.”

Georgi, once again the voice of reason.

“Since when are you so logical?”

“Since he is getting laid again.”

“Ah.”

“Mila!”

“Tell me I’m wrong.”

“...”

“Thought so.”

“Maybe Old man here needs to get laid too to get his remaining grey cells working ag--oww!”

“Yurio, show some respect.”

“Thank you Sara.”

“--for your elders.”

“Fuck you Sara.”

“The job is taken.”

“Eww.”

“Yes, don’t hurt the baby’s sensitive ears with your trash talk.”

“Fuck you Viktor.”

Viktor laughs, leaning back in his chair. “That doesn’t tell me how to, how did you so romantically put it, get laid with my beautiful mystery man.”

“You know his name, he’s not a mystery man anymore--did you actually bring the mug book with you?”

“I needed to look at his face.”

Chris leans over his shoulder to look at the page too. “He’s a cutie,” he says thoughtfully. “The other two are not too shabby either--Sara! Why did you hire only models to be in IT?”

Sara smirks at them. “Eye candy.”

Michele seethes in a corner, and as entertaining as it may be--it so is--that doesn’t help Viktor with his situation.

“Goddammit, Viktor,” Yurio explodes, “if you want to see the IT guy, either go down to the cave or get the IT guy to come up here!”

Now that’s an idea.

“Or you can be a creeper and wait for him and follow him and slaughter him before making a suit out of his skin, for all I care.”

What.

No, the first idea was better.

---

Thus starts the big Week of Viktor Against The Machines.

Unplugging and replugging everything in the wrong order is a pretty easy task, and it gets him the priviledge of looking at Yuuri’s butt wiggling for, oh, only a minute.

But a minute of that particular sight is more than enough to fill a lifetime of fantasies when you’e Viktor Nikiforov.

Even worth the comments about him drooling from … many cubicles actually.

Kicking the router until the Wi-fi network collapses is a job of precision and only done once he has checked that this wouldn’t be too much of a bother.

Mila carries Yurio away for coffee before the young man can start screaming bloody murder, so not bothered.

This time, Yuuri is not alone--he brings his intern with him, a serious looking dude with an extreme focus.

And an undercut.

“Altin,” he says to introduce himself before lifting the router in the air like he’s going to perform Hamlet’s monologue. “Hm.”

Yurio and Mila return just as Viktor manages to invite Yuuri for a drink while Altin repairs the thing--and he doesn’t even embarrass himself in the process.

Lo and behold, Yuuri accepts, checking with the younger man--that he calls Beka for some reason--before returning his attention to Viktor.

Who, frankly, doesn’t know if he can handle that smile without doing something idiotic.

As they walk out, Yurio stands close to the door, eyes wide as they look at Beka Altin working his magic.

Interesting.

Not as interesting as Yuuri talking about how computers are more than electronic circuits, but still.

---

The following day, Yurio waits for Viktor at the entrance with a papercup and a frown.

“Want some help with your mission?”

“My what now?”

“Your mission,” Yurio repeats, shoving the cup in Viktor’s chest. “I figured, the bigger the mess, the longer he’ll stay, the more opportunity you’ll have to charm him because he seems receptive to,” he pauses, gesturing at Viktor’s everything, “this, and the quicker you’ll stop moping.”

Viktor takes a careful sip of the drink and considers his young colleague.

A genius, yes; but Yurio is still very young.

And not very subtle.

“The bigger the mess, the more likely Yuuri is going to bring reinforcement, hm?”

“Look, do you want my help or not?!”

“I do. Thank you, Yuri.”

“Nah, use Yurio, I got used to it.”

“So what’s the plan?”

---

Alright.

Alright.

Maybe they took it one step too far.

Uprooting the whole database from the server, forcing it to halt as if under attack and putting everyone but the IT team on hold was … perhaps a bit much.

Possibly.

Neither Viktor nor Yurio ever denied being over-the-top.

Even with the unhappy frown on Yuuri’s face, it’s worth it, because it means that they need to go back and forth between the servers and the desks for the next two weeks.

(Viktor will totally buy muffins baskets for the team)

“So, Yuuri …”

“Not now.”

There is something new in Yuuri’s voice, something dark, that doesn’t let Viktor completely indifferent.

He fears that there isn’t much Yuuri could do that would make him feel differently.

But that little growl?

Straight to the spank bank.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know this command would provoke that reaction,” he still says softly.

He did not, that’s not a lie. Yurio did, though.

Even if it worked beyond even his expectations.

Yuuri sighs, leaning back in Viktor’s chair to look up at him. His hair is pushed back--after pulling at it for hours, it’s almost like Yuuri gelled it--and he took his glasses off.

Viktor could kiss him on sight, for all to see, he’s so heart-wrenchingly beautiful.

“I know you didn’t mean to do it,” Yuuri says tiredly, “but you have to understand that your actions have consequences.”

Is Yuuri scolding him?

“That what you do put everybody else in jeopardy.”

Signs point to yes.

“Boss, don’t be so hard on him,” Otabek--Altin’s name, after all--says, eyes on Yurio’s screen while he types line after line of coding. “We should have safe-guarded that command.”

Yurio is perched on the cubicle’s wall like a cat--no surprise there--following Otabek’s every move.

“You can save it, thought, right Beka?”

It’s weird and sweet (sweird?) to see Yurio looking at another human being with so much fondness.

“We can put it back online,” Beka says, “but Yuuri is the only one who can save what has been lost.”

“My hero,” Viktor says softly.

He didn’t expect Yuuri to smirk at him. “Hero, uh?”

“Of course.”

“Does that make you the princess in distress?”

“Of course.”

“Meaning that this is my task to complete to win your hand.”

“It’s already yooo look at the time, gotta run, gotta get … um, coffee. Lots of it. For everybody.”

“Vitya.”

Viktor freezes on the spot, red high on his cheeks.

Yuuri stands up and walks towards him, glasses back on his nose but his hair still pushed back.

Forget about walking, Yuuri Katsuki is stalking towards Viktor.

And Viktor has no intention of going anywhere--what’s a little humiliation in exchange of this sight, this determination aimed at him.

“Will you go on a date with me when I put the system back fully?” Yuuri asks, voice soft yet confident.

Viktor reaches for Yuuri’s hand, and bring it to his lips. “I can’t wait.”

---

And now for a little prologue-epilogue

From the moment Yuuri started working at The Rink, he fell in love with the chief creator Viktor Nikiforov.

Talented, amiable, gorgeous--the man had everything going for him.

Why would he even look in the direction of some IT schmuck like Yuuri?

After the Christmas celebration, which Yuuri only remembered as the Headache From Hell, Yuuri feels a little bit better, like he belongs there. Phichit is a good manager, sure, but Yuuri is the computer wizard.

With Otabek as an intern (and soon a colleague, Yuuri will make sure of that), there is nothing they can’t do, from the basement where they work surrounded by all the machinery.

That doesn’t make his crush on Viktor any less pathetic, but it is a consolation.

“Yuuri, desk 1804 needs you urgently.”

Yuuri rolls closer to Phichit. “Can’t you take over from here?”

“No, no, it’s … important that you go and fix it on sight.”

Yuuri narrows his eyes at his best friend. “Who is station 1804?”

“Why do you care?”

“What are you doing?”

“My job?”

“Uh-huh.”

“It’s not Mr. Feltsman, is it?”

“Oh no.”

“Ms. Liliana?”

“Nah, I wouldn’t put you through that.”

“You’re not trying to play matchmaker again, are you?”

Otabek looks at them with a confused look. “Again?”

“He got me drunk at the Christmas party, saying that I just needed a little liquid courage, which, a, it got me nothing except a headache, and b, certainly didn’t work to approach Viktor.”

Otabek’s eyes are all round and wide. “The Christmas party?” he repeats. “The one where--”

“Yuuri, Station 1804 is waiting,” Phichit cuts in, perhaps a bit too loudly to be honest.

But he’s right, and he’s his boss, so Yuuri sighs and goes out.

“This is not over,” he warns Phichit.

Before the door closes, he swears he hears him reply, “This is just the beginning.”

[dyemelikeasunset]

Have you seen the new ARMS character?

I went and looked up some vids and there are actually a lot of new characters, wow!

I guess I’ll do a mini review of the cast because why not

Overall character critiques: starting with some negative criticisms first, I always find it a bit frustrating when there’s an egregious difference between the guy and girl characters. All the girl characters have visible faces and look generally human (aka on the prettier side). But there are only two human-looking guys, while the rest are either robots, creatures, or masked to the point where you can’t tell. I find this unbalanced and frankly unfair. I would love to see an ugly female character, or a masked one whose face isn’t visible. A heavy-set female character would probably be asking for too much but I’d want that more than anything.

I also get a bit put-off when half of the female characters need a tool or something else fighting for them. In this case, there’s the girl in the robot suit, and the girl with the magic hair. Yes two of the girls actually do fist-fighting like the male characters, but that’s…half of them. If there were a bigger number of the guy characters also using Other means of fighting (like if the robot cop was using only his robo-dog companion to fight, or if there was a sorcerer character who used magic to send out crystal balls or something), I wouldn’t be bothered. But in a lot of games– and I say this as a concept artist working in the industry– we often get people finding ways to include women in brawls without them actually using their hands. Because the implication is that women are weaker; that they have to use their legs instead (Chun Li from SF), they have to use robotic arms (Vi from LoL), they have to use magic (practically any Final Fantasy), etc etc etc. I’ve seen the excuse time and time again, I’ve been told specifically to design characters like that. Women are rarely allowed to just fist-fight, and it’s sad to see this same treatment in such a fun-looking game

Individual character critiques: I’m just gonna say it straight out, Min Min (the noodle girl) has quite a few racist tropes built into her. Japan has a history of making Chinese characters who are a specific combination of food themed kung fu masters. (off the top of my head, I can think of Shampoo from Ranma ½, and the Chinese boy from G Gundam). You can literally hear her yell “aiyah!” when she’s dodging, so don’t try to argue she’s “ramen therefore japanese” themed. I know what a Chinese anime trope looks like. I’m really disappointed even though she’s super duper cute. It’s less that she herself is horribly racist, just that she has a lot of undertones hardwired into her design.

This is generally a minor critique though, since she’s not objectified and sexualized in that typical way (Japan also has an awful history with Chinese women and it sneaks itself into their media much more than I care to count)

Generally she’s low on my list of “Japanese things that depress me” but it was definitely off-putting at first

I don’t know if this was translation error, but I didn’t like how the video I watched addressed Helix, the Goo dude with the DNA arms, as “this… ma..man…??” as if being gender-ambiguous was a punchline. And then immediately went on to keep using male pronouns on it. It was grating. He’s a whatever design, as far as fighting(ish) games go, like he’s a pretty typical Freak design, but the way the video treated him was not only unfunny, but cheap and lowkey offensive

Overall character praises: they’re all very colorful and distinct! I like the style of the game and all their outfits very much. The repeating spiral/spring elements are super fun, and I think there’s enough variation between each individual in both looks and gameplay to give the game some good variety. I love the glove customizations and each character’s different ways of moving. All things considered, though I do have a problem with the 100-foot-view of the female characters, the game does have a decent amount and they’re all super cool looking

Individual character praises: I love Ninjara the green ninja guy. I know I know. Who is surprised. But again, for a fighting(ish) game, ninjas are a STAPLE archetype, and it’s nice to see one who’s so unique and cool-looking. There is a lot of subtle wit in his design. Choosing chains for his arms was a nice nod to kusarigama! And I just…. I’m a sucker for his fucking shuriken ponytail. His glasses/goggles are visually witty in the fact they connect in chains around his head. Husband.

I also adore Twintelle, the hair girl. I know I complained about her hair being a “tool that fights for her,” but sometimes when it comes down to execution, it can work really well! I love that she is a darker skinned character, who is feminine but not forced into revealing clothes, who is ELEGANT and glamorous! Here is a situation that, while in a wider scope of character design can add to a bigger existing problem, in her individual case, it’s really great in fulfilling an AWESOME character power fantasy. Hyper-feminine, dark-skinned, elegant and super deadly all at the same time. Wife.

Kid Cobra is just downright cool. His animation really sells his style, the cool dancing mixed with skating, his serpentine body. It’s unique and definitely a more thought-out “freak” design than some of the others!

Overall roster score: 8/10. 

Some unbalance in gender issues, some insensitivity and negative tropes, but overall a fun, well-meaning, and stylish cast that obviously had a lot of thought put into them. With good color palettes and silhouettes, they all read cleanly on the playing field and have personality that lets you get attached to them

[dorkforty]

So last week was, as so many of them are, a damn fine week for funnybooks. But this was a particularly good week, one that saw the release of what might just be my four favorite current comics. And while none of them quite managed to earn that elusive five-star rating… If that’s not a hook for this week’s column, I don’t know what is…

Kill or be Killed 20 by Ed Brubaker, Sean Phillips, and Elizabeth Breitweiser

The latest Brubaker/Phillips joint draws to a close this issue with an ending that’s not entirely satisfying, but rather brilliantly executed nonetheless. Things pick up right where they left off last time, with Dylan (Our Vigilante Hero) bleeding out in the snow after taking a bullet for Detective Sharpe. Everything fades to black on page three, but considering that he’s also Our Narrator, I wasn’t entirely surprised when I turned the page, and…

The story moves on from there, with Dylan slowly recovering and Sharpe covering for him out of gratitude. I wasn’t sure I completely bought that motivation for her, but there’s also a sting on the Russian mobsters who tried to kill them, and some other business involving a crooked cop, so I wrote it off as Brubaker twisting the knife on vigilante morality one more time. It’s also a nice play on the “Spider-Man No More” story Sean Phillips referenced with this issue’s cover.

In that story, Peter Parker gives up being Spider-Man, fed up with all the trouble it causes him, only to return to his double life after being reminded of why he started fighting crime in the first place. Here, Dylan gives up vigilantism after nearly dying, only to be brought back in when Sharpe tells him that the cop who set them up is being released into witness protection because of a plea bargain. From there, Dylan rededicates himself to the cause and moves forward, getting better at what he does and even changing up his look to something a bit more comic booky.

I mean, it’s hardly a spandex super-suit, but it’s decidedly more… design-conscious? …than the book’s been up to this point. The cool factor of that outfit was almost funny to me, to be honest, and I wondered if the book wasn’t heading toward some dark, terrible irony. An ending that made you feel good about Dylan’s vigilantism while simultaneously demonstrating that you very much shouldn’t. But something didn’t feel right about that. Though I could certainly see the book going there, it’s also the kind of bitter dark comedy Brubaker usually leaves to guys like Garth Ennis. It would be more like Brubaker to make his point more directly, by pulling a fast one with an unreliable narrator or something. In fact… Wait a minute…

Hasn’t he established that Dylan’s lied to us before?

Oh.

Oh.

OH.

So, yeah. That’s EXACTLY what Brubaker’s doing. And he pulls it off so well that I fell for it, about 96 percent. But something was nagging me about it, and in looking back over those pages, I can see why. Phillips and Breitweiser leave us plenty of visual clues that we may not be looking at reality. There’s that slick new vigilante costume, for one thing, but there’s also a change in how the fantasy pages are colored. The palette’s just as rich as the rest of the series, but Breitweiser’s laying in a lot more textures in that sequence. You can see it above, on the hospital blanket in that wake-up page I posted earlier. But anywhere she can, she uses textures instead of just colors. There are weird circular patterns in the trees in a couple of places, and then this page right here…

Holy crap. The background in that panel where Sharpe’s getting the commendation looks like an old four-color funnybook Ben-Day dot pattern. And that big panel at the bottom, with the wallpaper and the carpet and Kira’s shirt… It looks like it was draped in zip-a-tone.

That’s a nice touch. The textures in general give those pages an air of heightened reality, but the zip and Ben-Day effects plant things solidly in the realm of funnybooks, just as Dylan turns into a funnybook hero. It’s a great visual clue that we’ve entered fantasy land, subtle enough that it doesn’t give the twist away, but obvious enough that you know something’s wrong. Even if you only know it subliminally.

So, yes. It’s a brilliantly executed ending, one that upsets expectations and forces you to confront the book’s themes one last time. I can’t complain about it one iota.

Except…

Taken as a whole, Kill or be Killed feels like it had more to say. At one point earlier in the run, Brubaker said that this book would be the longest of his and Phillips’ career. And it’s had a certain thematic and narrative momentum that felt like they were planning to sustain it for a good while to come. Dylan has made vague reference to things that happen later, discussing his vigilante career in longer terms than what we’ve gotten. I’ve felt for a long time that Brubaker’s had longer-range plans for Kira, as well, and (in spite of a closing stinger that I won’t spoil here) her story now feels somewhat incomplete. The story as a whole feels incomplete. Truncated. Cut off. And he pays lip service to that sensation, talking about how life’s just like that sometimes. He even has Dylan apologize to anyone who feels like they’ve been mislead. So he obviously gets it. He knows this ending, good as it is, isn’t as satisfying as promised. But he opted to end the story here, anyway.

Why? Hell, I dunno. Maybe he got bored. Maybe he thought he was starting to repeat himself. Or maybe he just became uncomfortable with exploring vigilante justice as entertainment in the current social climate. I might argue that “crazy white dudes with guns” has become an even more vital subject in the last two years, but I can see how it might make someone eager to move on.

So I get it, too. I do. And Brubaker has done maybe the best possible job of wrapping up Kill or be Killed without the deeper examination promised along the way. So I’m not really complaining. I’m just… feeling wistful, for the story I had been anticipating.

Stray Bullets: Sunshine and Roses 36 by David Lapham

Exactly halfway through this issue, Sunshine and Roses passed the 10000-page mark. That’s impressive. The original Stray Bullets made it just shy of 1200 pages, spread across 41 issues, but Sunshine and Roses has been far more of an epic, focused intensely on one story that takes place in-between two other stories from that original series. It’s still sprawling, don’t get me wrong, with a huge cast and lots of character depths to plumb. But the action’s still rolling out directly from the events of the earliest issues. It’s… well, like I said… It’s impressive.

It’s especially impressive that Lapham can still expand the web of this thing to ensnare brand new characters worth remembering. But that’s exactly what we get this issue in the form of Love Yourself, a bad ass rasta gangster who saw the error of his ways and switched from selling hard drugs to psychedelics. Love’s a hippy samurai philosopher now, still a criminal, but one who looks out for his neighbors and tries to do the right thing when he can.

In a series filled to bursting with colorful characters, Love really stands out. I liked him almost immediately, and cringed when I realized that he was getting mixed up with the collection of lunatics and bad news assholes who make up the cast of this book. But there he is, caught through no fault of his own in-between Kretchmeyer’s Sunshine gang and Harry’s syndicate. And, oh my, it just ain’t pretty.

But it is awfully damned entertaining, yet another in Lapham’s long line of Tarantinoesque crime shorts, and a really nice place for the modern version of the series to pass a milestone.

Sex Criminals 25 by Matt Fraction and Chip Zdarsky

So I paid five bucks for a comic about people who have super-orgasms, and I didn’t even blink. I mean, it was 30 pages of story and art, plus five pages of the best letter column in funnybooks. And it’s about a lot more than super-orgasms. It’s some of the best, and most honest, relationship writing I’ve ever had the pleasure of reading. The things this book says about love, sex, and trauma are simultaneously funny, moving, and true. So, yeah. Five bucks really doesn’t seem entirely out of line to me.

But, still. As long-time readers know, I am normally not very eager to pay even FOUR bucks for a comic about anything. But I paid five for this without a second thought, and that’s before I realized how long it was.

So let that be a lesson to you, funnybook business: quality is worth paying for.

The Wicked + The Divine 37 by Kieron Gillen and Jamie McKelvie

  This issue features ten pages of empty black panels, counting down the years between the Pantheons of 3127 and 3037 BC.

Yes, you read that right.

Ten.

Pages.

Of empty black panels.

The BALLS on these guys!

Granted, there’s still 23 more pages of story here, and the issue only cost as much as a normal-sized comic.

So it’s not like they shorted us on content in the name of formal storytelling excess.

And, holy crap, was that formal storytelling excess ever effective.

I mean, I kind of rolled my eyes at it a bit at first. Because, you know, it just kept going.

But then I saw that each panel counted down a year…

…in much the same way that last issue’s formal storytelling excess counted down the centuries of every Pantheon in human history…

…and, like I said, it just KEPT GOING.

So by the time we see Minerva reborn after what appeared to be a terrible mishap in the ceremony to fend off the Great Darkness…

…we can share in the obvious horror she’s experiencing.

Because that’s a long time to get left alone in the dark.

And… Plenty of actual stuff happens this issue, too, but honestly…

That’s too good a line not to finish with.

A Lesson in Quality: FUNNYBOOKSINREVIEWAREGO!! So last week was, as so many of them are, a damn fine week for funnybooks. But this was a particularly good week, one that saw the release of what might just be my four favorite current comics.