#duckduck

[mengy007]

heeeellloooo precious mutual :3 please go ballistic about something for me

-scribz

*ahem-*

Ducks.

Ducks r so great, I absolutely fkin love ducks, rubber ducks are a huge yes, ajdhsjdbsjdhhhshsh look at the little feet that to waddle waddle ehehehe

[enbycrip]

This makes me so happy every time I read it. Especially the bit where Guy makes DuckDuck smoothies of all the good stuff he’s meant to eat.

This is the best buddy comedy-drama ever.

[windvexer]

Did health magic on the eclipse and had a dream that a Chobani High-Protein Strawberry Yogurt was a fountain of eternal water, ceaselessly nourishing the soil.

[threetrenchcoatsinatrenchcoat]

they knew what they were doing sandwiching the most heartbreaking stunning lesbian duet between two songs making heterosexuality look like a1 clownsauce

[threeofeight]

So remember when I did an Xbox Lcars Warehouse 13 star trek AU wallpaper.

Remember how the hyperfocus didn't stop.

Brand new shiny crisp logo.

What to do with that now it's been improved?

That is right! Custom made lock and screen that has it work around my finger print scanner, times and dates, widgets etc.

Cool done... it's still there. The focus.

WELL GUESS IM JUST LCARSING UP ALL MY TECH NOW.

[corwly]

honey next ur gonna tell me they canonically kissed

[ohhmichelettoohh]

[knackeredforever]

Really annoyed right now because I desperately want to stop being part of my family’s phone plan because it means everyone else in my family shares and can see my photos and search history and messages etc it’s gotten so bad as normal text messages have broken and they send to the wrong people.

The problem this is all caused by a family plan that was set up like 8 years ago so I don’t actually know how to turn it off or if I need to get a completely new SIM card and I’m going to be going to university soon so I really need to get this sorted beforehand or I’m never gonna truly be able to use my phone privately without the rest of my family seeing.

[paradife-loft]

ugh and it is such my headcanon that baby Curufin is quite a la Wen Yuan very empathetically attuned to whatever emotional shit the adults in the room have going on, too

and with Feanor in particular, he instinctually emotionally internalizes it as something that he uniquely has the capacity and responsibility to help fix - which is... not true but it makes sense in his sad small child brain ok. and also his maladjusted young adult with a child of his own jfc who allowed that to happen brain for that matter.

(do various people notice this at some point or another and try to gently set him in a better direction on it? sure. does it help? Absolutely Not.)

[melonpond]

wow firefox is so much better

[sunbentshadows]

UPDATE:

Recently Google pushed a new ‘Web’ filter, "udm=14" - this, incredibly, turns off AI-search. It also gets rid of the generated “info-boxes” and any other AI-adjacent features, and returns only long form web links.

(Note, this does NOT fix the declining quality of results, but I’ll take it for the times you need to use Google instead of an alternate)

There’s a website that does it for you: https://udm14.com

More info: https://tedium.co/2024/05/17/google-web-search-make-default/

Twitter (rip) announcement

Combine these two tips for a decent internet search experience.

Hey all, you know how internet searches suck now? When the results are awful, full-of-AI, death-of-the-internet levels of bad?

Start appending date constraints to your searches - "before:2023".

My results have gone from 90% AI bullshit to ~60% usable - which frankly at this point is a huge improvement.

[threetrenchcoatsinatrenchcoat]

thank you @neveragainfools! Getting to know u better:

Last song: Infinite Love by Emile Mosseri from the Kajillionaire soundtrack

Favourite colour: mmmmmmmmmmm red

Last movie: The Substance. it's incredible, every part of this movie crushed it. i never wanna watch it again.

Sweet/spicy/savoury: sweet sweet sweet

Current obsession: the way paper towels and tissues are folded so all of them are packed neatly except one is on display and plucking it out gracefully tugs the next one on deck

Last thing I googled: proud to say i haven't used actual google in recent memory but i duckducked gammon yesterday. i do not remember why and i did not retain what gammon was. it's a cut of pork.

@transvampireboyfriend if you wanna!

[draconicace]

hey why is netflix allowed to show up in search results when searching for a piece of media that has never even been on netflix

[slowtovvn]

Got my flu shot!

[rennebright]

duckduck by KKato [Twitter/X] ※Illustration shared with permission from the artist. If you like this artwork please support the artist by visiting the source.

[pedge-page]

I'm new to ur page idk if this is done but I...I want Joel to piss inside a plushie....

Puddles - a Plushies x PK drabble

Notes: I've been waiting to write this one so here we go! Can read more plushies!Joel through Plushies Series masterlist, though they can all be read as standalone fics

Warnings: Pisskink!Joel, piss kink, Drunk!Joel, solo masturbation with a stuffed animal, yes he is pissing inside poor plushie, plushie fucking briefly

18+ ONLY

- - - -

He may have gone a little bit overboard when Tommy invited him for the crew’s so-called ‘happy hour get together’. He knew they all liked to go out and celebrate with a few drinks after completing a project, and this last one they just wrapped up for some posh client with outrageous requests was no different. 

Joel usually liked to skip out on them. First, because he didn’t want to know what these clowns might be up to when they get tipsy, letting whatever sober-less things go on follow his mind to the next job site. But also because he’s getting too old for that college level shit. Hangovers aren’t nearly as fun when you’re pushing well past middle age. 

But, he didn’t want to be home alone since you were going to be working late.

So, two beers turned into twelve and a few more various alcohol spiked beverages here and there, and boom. Joel’s swaying side to side along the sidewalk with Tommy guiding him all the way up the front door.

“You sure you don’t need me, brother?” Tommy asks hesitantly. 

Joel, with lolling eyes and a grin, confidently waves him off after successfully entering his key into the door after 6 tries.

He stumbles through into the dark alone, and the first thing that hit him is how badly he wants to curl up on your plushie filled bed. He thought about you all night; your shampoo filling his nose when you cuddle him, the smooth streak of your naked back when you finish a shower, the wet indulgence of your pussy when he eats you out.

He’s never going to admit it, but the man is clingy as shit when you’re around. And he’s craving some much needed plushie pussy time.

Shit, the alcohol is really swimming in his brain. 

And, he realizes, with a firm and shiver-some squeeze to his crotch, elsewhere in his body. 

Ironically, the bathroom is not what beckons him.

With a devious smirk, he instead tumbles into the bedroom. Through the moonlit drapes, a wave of beady eyed babies stare back at him.

“Hello freaks,” he chuckles. They probably miss you too. Honestly it’s really rude, if you think about it, the way you abandon your buddies here AND Joel all in one night? Atrocious behavior. Someone ought to teach you better.

“Daddy’s home."

He falls forward, his knees catching the edge of the bed. An array of colorful volunteers practically jumping up and down at his presence to be engulfed by the precious aroma of Joel Miller.

That’s how drunk-Joel is seeing it. In reality, if they could run for their fluffy lives, they would. 

A quick hand snatches one yellow blob by its neck. His eyes struggle to get a clear picture—whether from the alcoholic haze or the darkness obscuring his vision. Possibly both. The dark bill and flappy arms come into focus.

“Duck,” he muses to himself. “Bet ya name is Duckie, some shit like that. She ain't good with the namein.” He rolls the unfortunate one over to its back, inspecting its caliber. Its definitely older: matted fur smushed down in certain areas, lack of vibrant coloring, some faded and torn edged fabric on its bow tie. Bitty holes sewn up here and there with mismatched (and poorly seemed) threaded needle. Your college waitressing job used to be for a place called the Quavern, so this little guy’s gotta be your graduation farewell from that team.

“Well mister Quakers. You n' me gonna get to know each other real well right now. Got something I need ya to hold f’me,” Joel slurs. One hand frees the button of his jeans while the other begins to prod at a loose tear in poor DuckDuck’s underside. He pokes and prods and scissors a little too harshly with his sausage fingers before a tell-tale rip echoes in the room. “Oops,” he chuckles with very little guilt as he forces the hole a bit wider and palms his crotch a bit harder. 

Yeah, he gets hard when touching your stuffed animals. He can’t help it! With all the naughty activities you do with them, they’re practically hug buddies by day, sex toy by night. His mind feels foggy, but the building sensation along his lower stomach is the only thing churning his actions. With a few lazy pumps, Joel slots his mushroom tip at the cottony hole he’s made in the poor plush. He pushes through, groaning with his head tossed slightly back as dry softness envelops his pulsing length. 

“Shit—that’s it. Take it little guy.” He bites his lips and peers below, watching his dick penetrate the stuffed animal.

He knows he should put it down, sew it up, put it back, and go do his business in the bathroom like a good, well trained boyfriend. But then again, he knows how fucking pissed you’ll be if he defiles your plushies again. Then you’ll never leave him unattended at home, and that means more pussy drinking and rubbing on these fuckers for him.

Joel doesn’t even realize he’s pissing inside the poor animal until it starts to sag heavily with the weight and wetness coating his hand. “Ooohhhhhhhhhh,” he gasps with furrowed brows. As his bladder empties, the duck grows damper and darker, the fur and cotton soaking it up from the inside out until it’s dripping down his ballsack.  He thrusts inside a few times, the warm wet sensation making him choke out a curse. It’s not quite like your pussy, but the heat is better than nothing. He pushes it flush against his pubic bone, another rush of liquid hissing through and muffled by Mr Quack’s soft innards.

If he wasn’t so fucking wasted right now, he’d fuck it into oblivion. give it the good ol'Miller beating. Fertilize its eggs, if you will. But with his bathroom situation now relieved, Joel yanks the thing off and chucks it to the ground. His brain collapses just as he falls towards the bed, drowning in his own much needed slumber.

-

you shake your head and laugh, hands on your hips at the sight in front of you.

Joel’s out cold face forward in your bed. His jeans are loosely wrapped around his hips and his old tee still on, so if it wasn’t for his loud snoring, you’d assume the man was dead. He hadn’t even made it fully on the bed, his tip toes still holding him up on the floor and legs dangling at an angle.

A few of your stuffed animals had managed to crawl out from underneath him, scattered around when he most likely dropped onto the bed. You pick them up one by one: dusty Carly the Crow, the now famed Mr Oinkers (with battery pack turned OFF), Whiskers the Cat, and poor old Puddles the Duc—

Your disgusted screech has Joel sitting up so fast he nearly capsizes off the bed. The confused, hungover lump is met with his bewildered and screaming girlfriend who’s yanking him by the neck and wringing him viciously with as much might as you can muster.

“STOP—FUCKING—PISSING—IN—MY—PLUSHIES!” You roar with wild eyes and gritted teeth, choking him within an inch of his life. You shake his neck up and down like you’re going to hammer his head into the bed post. 

It takes him a moment, with wide eyes and hands wrapped around your wrists, before his gaze lands on the poorly discarded evidence of last night: a very overly yellow duck soaking into the floor boards in a puddle of liquid gold.

- - - -

Taglist:

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