#dual destinies RUINED my man

[lakevalorr]

This ain't been about critics, not about gimmicks, not about who the greatest

It's always been about love and hate, now let me say, I'm the biggest hater

I HATE THE WAY THAT YOU WALK, THE WAY THAT YOU TALK, I HATE THE WAY THAT YOU DRESS, I HATE THE WAY THAT YOU--

[svetzzi]

knightklok stuff Is it headcanons or an au? I don’t know, but either way I sure as hell wrote about it.

Timeline: 1450’s-1480’s

Main Location: Pre-Sherborne/Sherborne, Sherborne Abbey Cathedral

Content Warnings: Character death, Christendom, religious fundamentalism, mentions of torture, mentions of social and systemic racism, mention of alcoholism.

Note: I subscribe to the implication that Dethklok, or even so the other people foretold in the prophecy, have been subjected to reincarnation for eons. Whether or not reincarnation is a normal aspect for everyone’s life-death cycle in the Metalocalypse universe is unknown to me as of writing this, but here I am making it certain for the pawns of the prophecy. Personally I find that the prophecy cave art in season 4,  the “ancient animal forms” from season 2 and onward, and the lyrics of Blazing Star are evidence for this notion. Every force included in the prophecy are doomed to their fates; despite being placed in deadly situations time and time again, they can make it out totally unscathed until their death. Said deaths may seem sudden or untimely on a surface level, but they are always decided by destiny or the universe (or perhaps The Devil if we lean more into the Satanic narrative). Here we see a version of Dethklok from their long line of reincarnations (that also happen to be ancestral to the present-day members), who had failed to fulfill the prophecy and thus had to die and start over.

If there are severe historical inaccuracies, then my apologies, I am not a buff and I made this for fun. If it helps to ease the pain at all, I am certain if this were to actually happen in the show, it would also be incredibly historically inaccurate.

I am also not Catholic, so some things may be wonky in that context as well.

Noah Eruption

Nationality: English / Roma

Weapon: Morningstar

The surname Eruption evolved to Explosion as the English language advanced.

His looks and demeanor forgave his non-chivalrous attitude, however being a man of few words made the public mistake him for chivalrous. Nonetheless his stature and steadfast fighting ability granted him both knighthood and the role of leader for the Sherborne Guard. Born in Canterbury, Noah traveled to Sherborne for personal independence and to no longer deal with those that knew of his mixed Romani bloodline. His morningstar was his closest companion.

Fled and retired to The Western Isles post-exile. In retirement he turned to cattle farming.

Death: Drowning (reason ruled unknown, speculated to be either suicide or accident)

Aengus “Picil (The Ruthless)” Barrel

Nationality: Irish 

Weapon: Dual-Wielded Scottish Dirks

The surname Barrel derives from his English grandfather’s favourite pub.

Picil, freeloader son of a shepherd, lived at his village’s pub. Of course, this habit kind of ruined his life and reputation within his hometown, however he did get some decent knife-tossing skills out of it. The pub eventually changed ownership, and consequently he was banned for being a pest. In some spark of clarity, the young man decided to start off on a clean slate. He packed a bottle for the road and headed for England (I reiterate short-lived clarity was mentioned, not intelligence). As a stumbling Irishman his time living there was incredibly difficult, but upon meeting Noah and Bishop Offgyrdd seemingly by coincidence he was “taken in,” so to speak.

And yes, his classic dirks slightly resemble penises, like God intended.

Fled to Wales post-exile.

Death: Went into the wood at night in a typical drunken stupor and was never seen again.

William “The Barbarian” “The Royal Guard’s Boil” “Barnacle Meat” Murdgruff

Nationality: English-Italian/Ethiopian (see Medieval Ethiopian Discovery of Europe) 

Weapon: Battle Axe

William Murdgruff fled from Italian slums as a young adult, in fear of further discrimination and possible death. He hid in a cart of hay bales and went wherever it took him. Sherborne did not treat him much better upon his arrival, even less so than expected, but the Bishop of the village saw his potential. Murdgruff then proved himself to be a merciless fighter, and with the strong persuasion of Bishop Offgyrdd, he was knighted by the Lord and assigned to the small guard sanctioned in that very town. An exchange was brought in return for his knighthood– that he would keep his appearance a secret from the public, as it would damage the church’s reputation. They even commissioned a custom helmet in order for him to fulfill such an order. He did as told, however that did not stop him from becoming the town’s punching bag due to how he held himself (and having the most non-chivalrous of attitudes, obviously). 

Fled to Germany post-exile.

Death: Tortured and Executed via Wheel at the beginning of The Werewolf Trials after fleeing to Germany.

Sigfrøðr / Sighfridh Swkigelf 

Nationality: Geat 

Weapon: Knightly Sword, though prefers Falchion

Irregular for the time and place, Sighfridh was born to closeted Heathen parents. Their Geatland patriotism imprinted onto him, but he found himself drawn to the Christian environment surrounding his family. Sighfridh saw himself not only in Odin, but in both the Lutheran and Catholic depictions of the Lord. In interest of visiting an authentic Roman Catholic cathedral, he decided to journey west. His stay in England was supposed to be temporary, especially after Toki began to accompany him on his journey, but finding good work with the Sherborne Guard (along with acclaim from all the English ladies…) Sighfridh stayed until the group’s exile.

Before England, Sighfridh was an ice harvester.

Returned to Scania post-exile.

Death: Disease of Totally Unknown Origin (it was definitely not syphilis).

Toki Wartúþr

Nationality: Norwegian/Norse

Weapon: Knightly Sword

(To my knowledge the name Toki has existed since like ~7th Century AD, so I find it perfectly sensible that the name Toki would be present multiple times throughout his family tree.)

He was a Sami boy adopted by Christian parents as a babe. Blessed with the spirit of death, his parents eventually blamed him for the unorthodox deaths of crops and farm animals, even if he was not tending to or near the area at the time of death. Their negative superstition surrounding their son grew more, soon blaming him for the rot of their food and the harsher winters. Believing him to embody the antichrist, they intended to kill him, but Toki found this out and escaped before they could execute their plan. He was a homeless wanderer for years, getting by on stolen goods and river water. It was when he ran into the traveling Sighfridh that Toki finally found some sort of path in life. To Sighfridh’s dismay, Toki was enamored with him and his journey, and so tagged along. 

Exiled.

Death: Murdered.

Bishop Offgyrdd

Nationality: English/Welsh

Weapon: Holy text, witchcraft, sabre

Under the guidance of his most trusted companion, Sherborne’s Archbishop, Offgyrdd was devoted to the underbelly of the church. He typically kept an eye out for any newcomers during the day, and was a transcriber at night. Before the mysterious and gruesome death of Canterbury’s Archbishop, Offgyrdd was– although emotionally distant– an average abbott. Even though transcribing was work for a lower monk, Offgyrdd happily took on the task for The Church of The Black Klok. The loose lips on the group of knights he brought together was ultimately his, their, downfall. From Sherborne Castle, the royal guard was demanded to put an end to this heresy, but they refused. Because they liked Offgyrdd. He was pretty nice to them after all, you know? Their Lord allowed for word— panic— to get out due to this. Reeves and the rest of the general public ended up taking matters into their own hands. The traitorous royal guard’s executions were debated. The enraged mob was still somehow infatuated with them, despite their association with witches. Out of fear of his own life, the Lord mercifully damned the knights to exile. After the beheading of the Archbishop, the last thing Offgyrdd saw was Noah watching his demise from among the crowd.

Thankfully, the actual Black Klok meeting grounds were never found by authorities. 

Death: Executed; burned at stake.

[attorneys-against-court-violence]

Dual Destinies: Cleared.

So... I feel like I should give some closing remarks here. Alright, how about we do it case-by-case? Only seems fitting!

Case 5-1: What a muddled start... the best way I can describe this is that it plants some interesting seeds that bear some of the story's sweetest fruits in very poor and smelly soil. Any problems you have with DD are going to be the most apparent and frustrating right out the gate and it is NOT shy about showing it's worst traits here. That being said, Ted Tonate is one of my favourite characters. I can't knock the man!

Case 5-2: Tantilising introduction to Simon Blackquill and Bobby Fulbright. Apollo and Athena hit off just fine with enough differences from Nick and Maya's dynamic to get me on-board. Damien and Jinxie Tenma are alright, the former being hilarious and the latter being a good neurodivergent nugget of a character. Still mad they had such good Apollo and Trucy moments from the start only to ditch her.

Case 5-DLC: Best case in the game. Or at least the one with the least blemishes. The Aquarium characters? Great. Athena and Nick's dynamic? Love it. Simon and Bobby? Hilarious. The culprit? One of the best in the series! DePlume's treatment by the writers and Nick's badge are my main grumbles, and I do wish they dug a little more into the latter's doubts about getting his old job back. Furthermore, Apollo suffered.

Case 5-3: Aristotle Means, you are THIS CLOSE to getting detention, mister! Athena and Simon's dynamic, along with the Themis quadro, CARRY this segment. Nick's at his most fun here as a mentor navigating a troubled student. But Means... good god, does he come close to ruining this case. And poor Klavier, he really deserved more than this... at least the parts that are most important get by well enough to earn this case a gold star! We uh, don't talk about Robin Newman's testimony...

Case 5-4: More of a prelude than a full-on case, but man does it push your buttons in the right ways. Athena, Apollo, Simon, and Bobby are all nudged in directions that are so uncomfortable for each character and they are all the better for it. The GYAXA staff range from noble and sympathetic to pompous to the point of unironic enjoyment. And Aura Blackquill. Who scares me. A lot.

Case 5-5: SO CLOSE to being the best of the best! For everything it pays off with aplomb and catharsis, it takes a step or two back with a decision that makes me groan in annoyance. The former does outweigh the latter in most cases, however. The only parts it doesn't are probably Trucy and... the final culprit. I'll talk about them in more detail another time, but in brief: fun and unsettling at first, kind of loses a lot of steam near the end. That last reveal of his took a lot of wind out of my sails and not in a good way.

Overall then? It's a slow-roller with plenty of bumps in the road. Those bumps get less noticable when it gets up and going, and BOY does it go, though they are still present. Thankfully, I don't think they completely ruin the most important bits. It's just frustrating that said issues don't have to exist, but do for stupid reasons only a CAPCOM business executive would gel with.

A major theme of the game is trust, the effects of suspicion run rampant, and how a healthy balance of both are necessary to build strong connections and fight that which threatens to break said trust.

What is faith without doubt? Blind. Foolish. Naive. The reason why the main villain almost got away with it all.

And in the end, while it's so drilled into my head, the ends truly did justify the means.

In any case, I'm ready to hand down my verdict.

I hereby declare Ace Attorney: Dual Destinies...

GUILTY

...but I believe it has a lot more to offer than criticism would let on. There's no reason it can't be seen as one of Ace Attorney's best if given a thoughtful revision.

I'm very glad to know you, strange 3D lawyer game. I'll be here a long while still!

[the-judicial-assistants-notebook]

Who is your favorite character from every Ace Attorney game?

For me its:

Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney - Maya Fey

Ace Attorney: Justice For All - Pearl Fey

Ace Attorney: Trials And Tribulations - Ron DeLite

Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney - Trucy Wright

Ace Attorney Investigations - Kay Faraday

Ace Attorney Investigations 2 - Sebastian Debeste

Ace Attorney: Dual Destinies - Bobby Fulbright (not the Phantom tho)

Ace Attorney: Spirit Of Justice - Nahyuta Sahdmadhi (I like characters with missed potential

The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles - Susato Mikotoba

SUSATO SWEEP!!!!! It's really hard for me to pick, like, favourite favourite characters from each game; I like them all so much <3 But just as an instinctive list, I'd go (under the cut because it got long):

AA:PW - I almost never talk about him, but I really love AA1 Edgeworth. I would say Larry, because I love Larry so much, or even Phoenix because. Guy of all time, but I think it really is Edgeworth. Got through 3/4 of the game going, "I need this man dead", and then spent the last 1/4 fighting so hard to save him, I was screaming for most of the case. Truly one of THE character arcs in video games. I also really like Cody Hackins and April May <3 I hope we see them again.

AA:JfA - Pearlsy is my little darling girl, and she ties with Franziska for obvious reasons, but you know who I think is extremely underrated in this game? Gumshoe. He's one of the few who can really sympathise with Phoenix's grief and Franziska's, he's compassionate, extremely helpful, SUPER cool with some fantastic lines and he saves Maya at the end!! JfA is the Gumshoe game to me; I love him so much. In terms of those exclusive to this game's cases, Mimi Miney takes it for me. I adore her.

AA:T&T - IRIS MY BELOVED!!!! IRIS IRIS IRIS. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, IRIS!!!!! And Dahlia, too <3 Also Viola Cadaverini because she's my world.

AA:AJ - Um... Probably Vera Misham or Alita Tiala? I'm not huge into the main cast, but I find how these two relate and are important to them and their themes extremely interesting, especially with Vera. She's so integral to Phoenix's story, and by extension Apollo and Trucy's, that it's wild to me that she doesn't reappear. Both their character motivations and background are really quite compelling, I feel (I know Alita is just technically a mix of Dahlia and Mimi, but I like both of them so I'm not complaining), and I really wish we got to seen more between Vera and Phoenix. I also like Machi Tobaye a lot.

AA:DD - Ah, we're on to the games I really Do Not Care For. Ummm... I want to give this to Athena, but, honestly, I despised her mechanic (not her fault), and Bobby was the only character really keeping me playing or entertained. So I'll have to give it to Bobby. Robin Newman was really fun, too.

AA:SoJ: Maya. I know this isn't the best depiction of her in the games, but it's her reintroduction into the series, and, despite the less than stellar writing and treatment of her character, she was consistently the one I was happiest to see onscreen. I really wanted to like the Khura'in cast (the first characters in the series to take direct and obvious inspiration from my culture and heritage? I was stoked), but, alas, the colourism and, more importantly, how utterly boring I found them, ruined them for me. I also liked Uendo Toneido as a witness.

AAI - Kay win. I love Kay so much here. She's so fun, and wonderful, and competent, and cool, and honourable, and funny. Kay, you're a dream <3 Also Rhoda Teneiro?? She was so funny??? I loved her as Edgeworth's assistant; I wish we got a bit more time with her. And Detective Badd? And Agent Lang? Calisto Yew? This game had a brilliant cast; I loved them all dearly. Calisto Yew, no one is going to do it like you again. They need to bring her back. For me.

AAI2 - JUSTINE, MY BELOVED!!!! JUSTINE WHO'S SO STRONG AND WHO'S BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH!!!! JUSTINE WHO HAS A SON SHE TOOK IN WHEN SHE WAS STILL IN SCHOOL!!!! JUSTINE WHO WORKED SO HARD TO ACHIEVE JUSTICE IN HER OWN WAY!!!! JUSTINE!!!!!!! Also John Marsh and Sebastian <3 They're a family to me. And I don't sleep on Raymond either. He brought a lot to the game (his theme is so good), and it was wonderful to meet Gregory's assistant. Honestly, the Investigation games generally have a really solid cast all around. So many fun characters.

DGS/TGAA - SUSATO-SAN SWEEP!!!!! SHE OBLITERATES THE COMPETITION. ONE OF THE FEW AA CHARACTERS I CAN POINT TO AND SAY, "THAT ONE'S MY FAVOURITE". But Ryuunosuke is my favourite defence attorney, and DGS Sherlock is my favourite adaptation of Holmes ever <3 This game is another whose cast I think just kills it the whole way through. Everyone was such a joy to meet and interact with. Hosonaga, the Skulkin Brothers, Nikola... Natsume Soseki was a shocking and utter delight <3 Shamspeare was hysterical. Olive Green was heartbreaking (I really love the gas case). But yes. Susato-san <3 Her <33

PLvsPW - Bonus one because I needed to put the main guy, the original man somewhere on the list <3 Phoenix, I love you so much. Genuinely, this game has so many great Phoenix moments, and him being a highly enthusiastic baker was phenomenal. I loved him so much here (the entire main cast was fantastic), and he had so many great moments with Maya and Luke that really showcased who he is and let him shine next to the Professor. PLvsPW, I will always love you. Game of all time, which helped set up so much of what would come in DGS, and it deserves all the respect for that alone. Stellar experience.

[fictionkinfessions]

I remember having a moment for a few hours where i was upset that I wasn't like canon me, that I thought maybe I wasn't cool enough, and that every Ace Attorney fan would call me cringe or something (an exaggeration, natürlich) for not being as put together as I seemed in canon.

But the truth is, I realized, that I reacted like any person should. I had a load of traumatizing things happen to me in the span of a few months--and I'm not even going to begin to unravel the disaster that was my childhood--and as put together as I was, I had issues.

To start off, I was in the music industry--which is infamous for having countless horror stories--at age 17. I was a literal child, forced to grow up fast because I had to, for college (to be a prosecutor) and being a rockstar at such a young age. Gott, everyone expected so much of me.

And also the fact that I found out my brother was extremely toxic to me and had been for most of my life, and that I ruined a man's life because of these lies was devastating. Ach, gott, the guilt I felt for those months after the trial was brutal.

At this point I can't even count the shit I went through on my fingers! Toxic friends, controlling family who you thought you could trust, family that didn't give two shits about you and that you're convinced just had children to say they did like a fun achievement get, people who you came to like you think now hate you for what you did 7 years ago, etc. etc. Even as a grown adult this would break someone to a certain extent.

And thank FUCK I'm not like me in canon to an extent. I swear on my life if i see one more "fraulien" i think i'm gonna scream. I stopped saying that when I was a teenager because of how offensive and overall discriminatory it was. And then some of the wack shit I say in trial that's downright rude is just bonkers to me. I would never say or do some of this!

And if we're talking 'canon' ""me"", this means we have to talk about Dual Destinies as well. It's insulting how ""I"" act in that game; the fact that I'm casually playing the Guitar's Serenade after how traumatizing it was for me in AA4? Mein gott. Absolutely would never.

Es tut mir leid, this turned into a minor rant. I've gotten it off my chest before, but I think sharing it here is where I can finally lay the topic of "I'm glad I'm canon-divergent" to rest, ja?

-Klavier Gavin (#🕹️👾🎸)

=

[the-last-human-war]

GodofWar Punisher WarMachine FutureWinterSoldier MolagBal Sauron

God of War Weapons List. Main Feature Versatile List of Specialty Weapons that prove the Most Leverage in Battle

1. Crucible Sword of the DOOMSLAYER

2. Dual-wield with the Crucible Sword: The Pendellum Axe Gun

3. Glaive

4. Chinese Sword that looks like a Straight Katana cuz that Dynasty shared its Designs with Japan.

5. Indian Scimitar of Ghengis Khan

6. Daggertail (Hashshashins Aka Hashshansins Aka Hassansins Aka Grasseaters Aka Original Assassins of Persia). Aka Scorpion's (Razor) Chain Spear.

[Requires Level 7 Security Clearance. Data entry Redacted. TO BE CONTINUED.]

7. God of War - War Machines, Vehicles, Ammo types, Technology, Tactical Gadgets, Defenses, Uncommon Offense, Other Armaments & Provisions, All Warfare and Strategies

1. Rorschach's Journal: Mission Report - December 16, 1991. Remember Remember the 7th of November. Today... A Naked Snake died. Actually, ehem, Redacted. A Stark Snake died. Moscow has lit up like the 4th Floor of Ju-On. It's Chernobyl times 3,572,855... Completely Incalculable. 2. Case File - Guns of the Patriots, and Super-Scarab METAL GEAR Programs, the Engines have been ignited, the Gears of the Train rolling, the Beast shall Roar again. Venom Snake commands Armaments Manufacturers as Director, and Applied Science Advisor & Lead Strategist demonstrating through Simulation how the Armaments of Engineers should perform in the Field. We must remind everyone he is not a Lab Rat, He is BIG BOSS!! What tha fuck does this scrawny guy know!? Hammer Industries? What... You gonna hit em with the Ex-Wife? New Protocol - We will use Iron Man as the Warzone Pin Cushion. 3. .... [BIG BOSS]... These Armament Programs are Perfect, in that they offer An Invasion Force the Most Effective and Efficient Methods of Conquering the Enemy Nation. Considering much Roots from The Art of War, I BIG BOSS apply Originality to All my Arsenal and Tactics. It is most dangerous when a General is completely Unprecedented and uses shit you've never seen. I am Ninja Sennin. I'm a Mind Freak. The first Tactic and Weapon I will use on the Defending Army is Psychological Warfare. To Shock, Traumatize, and Horrify the Enemy. Most especially Terrify the Enemy. But I would say Terror should only be used as the Cherry on Top of the Cake... After you have successfully Conquered their Mind Fortress, then Unleash True Petrifying Panic & Despair upon THEM... 4. .... BIG BOSS... I am very Creative, and very Clever. When I Manufacture Armaments, I Aim to Test the Imaginations of the Enemy. Then again, I let y'all in on a little secret... Most Effective Tactics are actually quite Simple and Savage. Savage as in the Nature of our Ids. Many People with Honor and Dignity, Decorated Generals!!... Don't have the Stomach for True Effective Warfare. This Warfare comes straight from The Red Lantern Corps of MARS. It is everyone's Destiny to undergo the Crucibles of Nirvana, and come Full Circle with One's Self. WAR... Is when We get to UNLEASH OUR INNER DEMONS. .... BIG BOSS... I am Demon Snake. HE IS... THE DOOMSLAYER. Question - How do you DESTROY your Enemy? You see, the End Game of War... Is how do you Aim to Destroy your Enemy. My Methods are Ultimately Flexible in that they consider All the Different Ways you'd like to End your Enemy. Most especially the Ultimate Outcomes: To Convert them into Allies, To Trap their Country in a Hellheim Realm to Torture them for Eternity, To Convert All their Dead into Zombies, To Slaughter and Devour them all for the sake of Cannibal Meat and Nutrition, To Enslave them all FOR DARKSEID, To Lett them all in Fatty Blood Farms for Vampires and probably piss off a lot of Gods in the process, To convert the Elderly into Human Vegetation and Feed the Earth their Bluud, To Let All the Enemy Live yet only to Completely RUIN their Precious Land and Shelters and Purge All their Data and Leave them with a

[queenofdragons12]

Redemption's Embrace

Pairing: Anakin Skywalker (Darth Vader) x OC (Dragoness)

Warnings: Intense action, violence, emotional turmoil

Blurb: In the aftermath of a battle that shook the galaxy, Dragoness faces the ruins of her past. With the dark lord defeated, she extends a hand to the fallen Anakin Skywalker. Choices hang in the balance, and as they navigate the wreckage, a journey of redemption and rediscovery unfolds amidst the echoes of a once-shattered love.

In the ethereal glow of the stark light, a sinister chuckle escaped your lips, resonating in the tension that hung like a shroud. The gaze of both Luke and Darth Vader shifted, their attention drawn to your entrance, a silhouette against the radiance. The emptor, a malevolent specter, sneered at you with a cheerless glare.

"Seems you've conveniently forgotten about me, scum," you hissed, your voice a venomous whisper that sliced through the silence. Determination burned in your eyes as you locked eyes with the emptor, who reveled in his dark mirth. "This time, I won't let you get away."

The emptor's mocking words slithered through the air, attempting to poison your resolve. "Oh, is that so, dragoness? How come you've not killed my lord Vader yet? Still clinging to that twisted love, even after all he's done, even though he's forsaken you," he taunted.

With a defiant resolve, you drew your light saber, its hum resonating like a distant lament. The vile man's words, a storm of bitterness, echoed in your ears, but you pushed them aside. Thoughts of your daughter fueled your strength, urging you to stand tall. For her and for the possibility of a future with Luke, you steeled yourself.

Ignoring the emptor's venom, you turned the radiant blade towards the black-masked Darth Vader. A deep growl rumbled in your throat as you compelled him to follow your lead. The purple light of your saber danced in the shadows as you struck, cutting through the air and biting into Vader's shoulder. The clash of lightsabers and the hiss of energy filled the space, a symphony of defiance against the darkness that sought to engulf you.

Locked in a deadly dance, the clash of lightsabers echoed through the air as you and Anakin found yourselves at swords point. A sly smirk played on your lips as you addressed him, "Still think you can win over me, Anakin? It's cute, really. You do remember—"

Before he could respond, you swung your blade with swift precision, severing the walkway beneath. The dark lord plummeted, the structure crashing down upon him, leaving Luke gasping at the sight of his struggling father.

As Vader lay beneath the debris, you turned your dual sabers towards Anakin's throat. There was a hint of sorrow in your gaze as you pleaded, "We could've lived a happy life, you, Luke, and Saphira. Please, there is still hope." The words, like a delicate plea, hung in the air as you looked into Vader's bug-like eyes, hoping for a glimmer of the man he once was.

Vader grunted, "Anakin Skywalker is dead, dragoness. There's no love for you in my heart anymore." Your eyes flashed with a hundred emotions, and you laughed, a sound laced with bitterness.

"Liar," you whispered, but before anyone could react, your saber impaled Lord Sidious's chest. A primal scream of pain tore through the room as the light sword cleaved through his heart. Lord Sidious slumped, lifeless, and the dark presence that had hung heavily began to dissipate. The room fell into a heavy silence, the battle's tumult replaced by the weight of the choices made and the destiny altered.

Turning to Luke, you commanded, "Go to the ship, find Saphira, and meet me back at the base." The dirty-blond nodded, a mix of relief and determination in his eyes, and swiftly departed.

You then extended a hand to Vader, addressing him with a mix of firmness and hope, "Your master is dead. It is your turn to make a choice, Anakin. Come home with me, embrace the love and life we once wanted together, or stay and let the flames consume what's left." The fate of Darth Vader hung in the balance, a pivotal moment where redemption or continued darkness awaited his decision.

He grunted, and a gloved hand clasped yours. A warm smile crossed your face as you led him away from the wreckage. The path to redemption was paved with uncertainty, but your hope for a new beginning burned bright as you and your once-lost love walked together, leaving the remnants of the dark past behind.

[ask-the-ace-attorneys]

Okay, so everyone knows that one scene in Dual Destinies where Apollo crosses his arms and quotes Kristoph, right? Athena wouldn’t know, but imagine Phoenix’s reaction.

Phoenix seeing Apollo, someone who he considered his son... acting like the man who absolutely ruined his life. Phoenix trying his best to stay calm but Apollo looks exactly like Kristoph and he’s even quoting him oh god I can see his twisted smirk-

Or, better yet, Klavier coming for moral support and seeing his boyfriend looking exactly like the brother that manipulated him his whole life. Klavier just bolting out of the courtroom. He tries to convince himself that it’s just Apollo. It’s not him. Apollo is not going to become the next person in my life to twist and change and hurt me. He won’t. Please, tell me he won’t!

Trucy noticing the severe reactions and trying to point it out to Apollo. And then when he realizes what he’s doing, he’s terrified. Klavier, Phoenix, Trucy, and Apollo share one fear. That Apollo is going to turn into Kristoph.

[thefactsarethese]

im making a list of things i like about dual destinies. i’m thru 5-3 and so far the list is:

1. the way apollo’s portrait on the save screen cuts him off right at his hairline, so that his forehead looks like a sevenhead.

2. nick keeping the locket with the photo of his daughter in it that he stole from her biological father in his breast pocket with the chain loose like a pocketwatch is a pro DILF move and i love that for him.

3. bum rap rhiny. i genuinely love that they didnt give in to the temptation to make another blue badger, and instead leaned into the possibilities of “weird mass produced copaganda merch”.

4. blackquill having an entire animation that’s exclusively used for him laughing at his own jokes. my man’s having a good time and so am i.

5. apollo being the only valid bitch in this joint even when he’s dressed like the protagonist of a shounen anime in its mid-series slump season.

6. the anime law high school needs prominent guest lecturers, so it chooses two of the worst people it could have ever chosen: (1) the defense attorney who just got reinstated like five minutes ago after spending the better part of a decade publicly disgraced as a fraud, and (2) the prosecutor who was recently revealed to have ruined the other guy’s life after neglecting to do his due diligence on a false accusation of fraud. this is weird until you find out that the anime law high school’s curriculum is to teach teenagers how to be scumbags, and then it’s amazing.

7. any and every time taka makes this face 😳

8. apollo

[steves-on-a-plane]

Destiny Disputed

Words: 2216 Pairing: Ben Solo x Reader Timeline: Pre-Episode VII AU Summary: Ben takes Reader on what they think is a joy ride to an outer rim planet. What Reader quickly finds out is that Ben has come to Tatooine in an attempt to define himself and his place in the force.

“Hold on tight, we’re going in for the landing.” The young pilot behind the yolk of a borrowed tandem x-wing you were riding in told you. His voice came in slightly static through your headset. You looked through the viewport trying to see the planet below. “It’s going to take a while before you see anything good.” He told you as if reading your mind.

“Well, it’s Tatooine, so I won’t see anything good until we leave.” You insisted. “But I never get tired of seeing planets from this high up.” You smiled.

“I used to think that too.” He laughed. “But the magic wears off after a while.”

“I just realized that other than your uncle, who we see every day, you never talk about your family. Did you travel a lot as a kid?” You wondered.

“My mother is in government and my father is the captain of a freighter.” He told you. “So, there was a little bit here and there.”

“A captain?” You commented, clearly impressed. “Is that where you learned to fly?” The curved sandy surface of the planet below finally came into view as the X-wing continued to descend towards Tatooine.

“You could say it’s in my blood.” He answered back. “My Uncle always dreamed of being a pilot. I’m told my grandfather was a pilot too. I’ve been flying as long as I can remember.”

“You have quite the legacy to live up to, Ben.” You told him.

“Yeah.” He scoffed. “Tell me about it.”

“How exactly did you talk Master Luke into letting you borrow this X-Wing anyway?” You asked.

“Right, about that…” His sentence trailed off.

Once the X-Wing was landed and secure at Docking Bay 42, You followed Ben to the crowded streets of Mos Eisley Spaceport. They weren’t streets in the sense that you were used to. They were more like dusty pathways with no clear flow of traffic. Only a few steps off the ship and you were already grieving it’s temperature control settings. The planet of Tatooine was hot, dry, and full of sand.

“What exactly is so important here that you had to steal an X-wing for?” You found yourself coughing violently as flecks of sand managed to find their way into your lungs. Ben rolled his eyes at you.

“Wear this.” Without giving you a change to protest, he wrapped a thin piece of linen cloth in such a way that your mouth and nose were covered. “It protects you from the sand.” He explained impatiently. “And I didn’t steal the X-wing. We’re going to bring it back.”

“You’re still not answering my question.” You remarked. “What’s so special about this place? Other than the fact that it’s a miracle any life forms can survive on it at all.”

“C’mere.” He grasped your hand and tugged your off the street. The two of you were wedged together between two Tatooineian Clay buildings. You hadn’t thought the dual sun planet could feel any hotter, but with your chest pressed against Ben’s, you could feel his every breath on your exposed skin.

“I never tell anyone this. I don’t want the others to make fun of me. Can you keep a secret?” You nodded. “My mother is Leia Organa-Solo. She was the princess of Alderaan. Her husband is Han Solo.”

“As in General Leia Organa Solo?” You repeated.

“Yes, not so loud!” He covered your mouth with his hand. Maybe it was the heat but pressed between him and the building with one of his hands holding yours the other covering your mouth, it was almost romantic. Definitely the heat. You decided. “We can’t be overheard talking about them here, do you understand?” You nodded. He nodded back, removing his hand.

“I don’t understand, you tell everyone your name is Ben Skywalker. Why would you do that?” You questioned in a whisper.

“I couldn’t avoid being Luke Skywalker’s nephew. The others would sense some type of familial bond through the force, but they didn’t need to know about my parents. I want to forge my own destiny. I don’t want to be known as the general’s son, or the smuggler’s son. I just want to be me. You can understand that can’t you?”

“I-I…” You looked into his brown eyes. You could feel the weight of what he was saying. You could feel it in his body language and in the force. You could feel how it had burdened him all this time. How he was pleading with you now to understand him. You were proud of where you came from. Your father was a respectable trader and your mother, who had been a pilot in the rebellion, now worked transport jobs for the republic. She’d even met Leia Organa once or twice and had nothing but kind things to say about the general.

“What’s on Tatooine, Ben?” You asked him again.

“Ghosts.” He whispered. “And we’re going to see them all.” He tugged you out of the ally and towards a land speeder rental.

“You said before that I have a lot to live up to.” Ben recalled your earlier conversation. “Everyone in my family was once a nobody.”

“Everybody is somebody, Ben.” You disagreed.

“Not in the outer rim.” He shook his head. He stopped the speeder. It appeared you were hovering inside abandoned ruins of some sort of colosseum. “When my grandfather was a child, before he was a jedi, he was a slave; a nothing. Where we are now was once the starting point for the Boota Eve Classic. A podrace. A pod race that my grandfather won, his winnings were used to repair the ship of a jedi master named Qui Gon Jin who helped him escape this place. Without pod racing, he never escapes Tatooine, he never becomes a Jedi, he never becomes Darth Vader.”

“There’s no way to know that for sure.” You disagreed. “Master Skywalker says…”

“Master Skywalker.” Ben offered a grunt of contempt.

“Is it Master Skywalker or his teachings that you don’t like?” You asked over the hum of the landspeeder. Ben was already steering the vehicle away from the forgotten racetrack towards another part of the planet.

“What I don’t like are his philosophies.” Ben hissed. You watched his grip on the landspeeder’s yolk tighten. “My father is the sort of man who believes a person makes their own destiny. Uncle Luke thinks all things are determined by The Force. That our destiny isn’t fully within our control. I suppose my mother is somewhere in between, though her opinion was rarely asked about while the two of them debated at the dinner table.”

“So which do you believe? That our choices all mean nothing or that they mean everything?” You watched his brows furrow together. He scowled into the skyline.

“That’s what we’re here to find out.” You traveled in silence for serval miles. You wondered how Ben could so easily navigate the planet. To you Tatooine seems to be nothing but sand for parsecs and parsecs. He navigated the terrain as if he’d spend all of his youngling years there. You supposed it was possible he could have. He’d already admitted to lying about who he was once. You began to wonder if you really knew him at all.

The landspeeder seemed to stop suddenly. You glanced around looking for any type of landmark. Ben reached over and tilted your chin with his forefinger and thumb. He pointed out to the horizon. If you squinted, you could just make out the signature dome shape of a moisture farmhouse. You knew from the stories he shared around the temple that Master Luke had grown up on a moisture farm.

“Is that…” You started to ask Ben.

“Not exactly. Like the legends say, the majority of it was burned down the day my uncle left the planet, but it’s the same land the family farm was on.” Ben nodded solemnly. “The family farm where my great grandmother lived and my uncle lived and where my great uncle died. Did anyone ever tell you who I was named after?”

“Until a few hours ago I’d thought your last name was Skywalker.” You reminded him. “How do I even know your name is Ben?” You turned in your seat and looked at him. You waited for a response.

“I deserve that.” He laughed. “I am named after Uncle Luke’s mentor. A jedi named Obi Wan Kenobi. The people in the area knew him as Old Ben. He lived here for eighteen years here keeping an eye on Luke. Trying to protect him from my grandfather.”

“How exactly is this helping you with your moral dilemma?” You interrupted him. Both Ben and his uncle had an affinity for dramatic story telling. Normally you enjoyed that sort of thing. There wasn’t much entertainment at the temple. Being in the vast openness there in the broiling land speeder, however, had taken away your usual appreciation for grandiose speeches.

“How is it possible that so many people’s stories can be intricately intertwined here, on this one planet?” He didn’t wait for you to answer before asking another question. “How can so many lives start and end here and it mean nothing? Obi Wan brings a baby Luke Skywalker here to this broiling hellscape while his sister is sent to live in the utopia that was Alderaan. What if instead they’re switched? If Luke becomes Luke Organa, prince of Alderaan, does he still grow up dreaming of becoming a pilot and discovering life somewhere else? If Leia Skywalker spends her life here, does she still become the great general who openly defies Darth Vader and helps get the Death Star plans to the rebellion? We have one more stop on our tour.”

The landspeeder gave a sudden jerk forward and you began to move away from the moisture farm and back towards the closest thing to pass for civilization on Tatooine. It was in that moment that you sensed it for the first time. You weren’t sure how you’d missed it for so long. You’d known Ben most of your life after all. Sure, he’d been quiet and mostly kept to himself, but you’d always considered him a friend.

You’d always known he was powerful. That was the burden of the Skywalker legacy. He’d always learned things faster than others and you assumed it was because of his bond with Master Luke or maybe that he’d received additional training on the side. Despite being good friends for years, you realized you’d never been truly alone with Ben. The sheer vastness of Tatooine meant it were just the two of you alone, no other lifeforms for miles.

Your fight or flight response told you to be afraid. You felt yourself stiffen, as if even the slightest muscle twitch would put you in danger. You fought to gather yourself and shake the feeling away. Surely it was the unfamiliar planet that had given you a scare. Maybe all of Ben’s talks of ghosts had put something in your head. Deep down though you knew, the darkness that you were sensing was coming from Ben.

“You’re afraid of me.” He stated. “There’s no sense in lying. I can sense it in you.”

“No.” You told him quietly, your voice barely audible over the speeder’s hum. It was the truth. Ben had been nothing but kind to you, you had no reason to be afraid of him. It was the darkness you were afraid of. You wondered if it scared him too. Had it been the allure of the darkside that had brought him all the way to Tatooine?

“My uncle is.” Ben told you. In the distance the outskirts of Mos Eisley were visible at last. You no longer cared about making it back to the spaceport. “He’s worried I’m too much like Vader. That I won’t be able to fight it.”

“What do you think?” You asked.

“That he doesn’t know me at all.” Ben answered. “That if he knew I had something worth fighting for, he’d understand why I wasn’t really tempted by the dark side.”

“What’s that? The something you’re fighting for?” You questioned.

“You don’t already know?” He stopped the landspeeder a mile from the very edge of Mos Eisley. He turned to look at you. You met his gaze with your own. “My father once said that a man doesn’t get where he’s going alone. You get as far as you can on your own, but sooner or later you need at least one good partner to walk beside. Someone to co-pilot when you just can’t seem to make it that final stretch of the journey. There’s a cantina in town, the same one my father met Uncle Luke and Old Ben at for the first time. You’ll know it’s the right place when you hear a blith band that playing incessant Jatz music. After an hour, if you’re not there, we’ll meet back at the ship, I’ll take you to the temple and we’ll never speak a word of it again.”

“What sort of a co-pilot would I be, if I even got out of the speeder?” You asked reaching for his hand. “You won’t get rid of me that easily, Ben. I’ve got you.” You promised.

[4ragon]

For the aa character thing, I would maybe like to hear your thoughts on a minor culprit that you like? they often get overshadowed by the big bads but they’re still very fun I think!

Oooo a minor culprit lets see if I got anything before this COVID vaccine kicks my ass. (Note: I wrote that sentence out two days ago so the answer was no)

Man. I’m looking at a list of culprits and there are so many I don’t know if I can decide. Half of me wants to talk about PLvsPW case 3, but again, I am the only person on planet earth who cares about this game, so I don’t want to spoil it, so let’s look aaaaaaat

Shoot man, uh, Ini Miney? Roger Retinz? Or like Dane Gustavia has the best theme song in the series. Or there were a few I remember enjoying in the Duology if I could just remember them better. Or.

Man. There are so many great side characters. I’m not saying every murderer is a knock out of the park, but it’s hard to find one I outright dislike (not impossible, just hard). It’s just so satisfying to defeat them, you know? Even minor characters have such awesome breakdowns. Every case is its own challenge, it’s own compelling story of uncovering lies and saving an innocent person. Honestly, you can put just about any murder mystery in front of me and I will probably enjoy it, but Ace Attorney is top tier with practically every case.

I guess I’ll focus on, I dunno, Roger Retinz? May be a weird choice, I have no clue what the fandom consensus on him is but hear me out.

He’s a very fun guy to hate. He’s sleazy, he’s full of himself, and I think most importantly, everything he does to hurt the main characters is very, very personal. My opinion might change if I ever replay SoJ, but I loved 6-2. It was a little silly at times, and I know I’ve heard plenty of valid complaints about it, what with “retconning” and “hey why didn’t they do the sibling reveal here,” but at the same time, the threat of losing the office and Trucy, my favorite daughter, all to some creepy full-of-himself producer who was hell bent on ruining the life of a Literal Child, was already really compelling stuff. It reminded me of 2-2 in a lot of ways, only without the benefit of being a flashback case to let us know Maya turns out a-okay. And while I loved Morgan, she wasn’t actually the culprit in 2-2, and Retinz was, so he’s a horrible vengeful man AND he’s a murderer. 🎉

Maybe part of it is how much I love Trucy, and part of it is his infuriating personality, but he is just the exact person you just want to see ruined. A scummy dude, preying on innocent people to make money, a producer with a lot of clout using it to ruin people he personally doesn’t like, like I wanted to see him beaten, I wanted to wreck his shit so bad. And then I realized the why, and I started jumping up and down, like, I know, I know, his addition to Troupe Gramarye doesn’t even make sense in the grand scheme of things, it’s retconny and stupid but in that moment I didn’t care, the pieces clicked into place and I realized just how far down the rabbit hole his revenge scheme went.

Plus, holy shit, his music? Kick ass. Design? Very good, very punchable. His breakdown? I hated all of the Dual Destinies breakdowns, and so I wasn’t expecting anything too exciting from SoJ, but that was really fucking cool. I had fun.

Again, minor villain in the grand scheme of things, but very effective in the case he was in. Plus he’s certainly one of the better 3D murderers, imo.

[colourful-void]

Turnabout for Tomorrow!

alright turnabout for tomorrow!

for those like me who haven’t (yet) memorized every case title, this is case 5 of dual destinies

I have!! a lot of thoughts!!!! This is a ramble so it’s probably gonna a be a bit all over the place but!!

So first off, it’s really cool to have one case go right into the next, that’s awesome. Defending Athena is also awesome! I thought it was gonna be Apollo, still holding out for a case where Athena defends Apollo, but point stands!

However, i do gotta dock points for the lack of setting. Since it’s the same as the last chapter, there’s nothing really new, and new environments are like... my favourite part of ace attorney (and video games in general). I don’t Love the space centre, but I think it’s one of the better locations! I would’ve liked to see more of it I think.

I also think it was a little on the short side, now to be clear I very much prefer shorter cases in general for ace attorney, but I like having the nice long case at the end. This case felt long since it was pretty much part of the cosmic turnabout, but it sort of felt like it dragged, and we ended up getting less to do.

Other random nitpicks - do not like mr rocket space man - would’ve like the spy stuff to be introduced or implied or even hinted at just a little bit eariler. - juniper being there soley to tell part of athena’s backstory was not cool. either make juniper more active in the series or have athena come forward to tell her story of her own accord.

Nearly everyone in this case was super interesting and the story was rad!!

It was so freaking cool to do SImon’s mood matrix. Of all the minigames in ace attorney, (fingerprints, psyche-locks, whatever you wanna call apollo’s thing, etc) I think mood matrix is my favourite. It’s hard (emotions are confusing) but I like that I don’t lose health and that Athena helps me out. Also WIdget is cute, and having graphics is awesome!

Simon changing his story just made my heart sjdflkjsdfjlsdjflds!! even though he was lying, (iirc) he always made it so it was never athena’s fault and i just!!! he cares for her so much!!!

Athena’s whole backstory just makes me sob she deserves so much. And Aura and SImon and all of that is so cool too.

Alright so at this point i got distracted and looked through the whole dual destinies artbook, now im back.

I would’ve liked to see more Trucy (this is a general statement but) she was a hostage and it’s hardly focused on!!!! Come on!!!! I’m salty on that,,, If ur gonna do something like that, make it a bigger deal!!

This is coming off as way more negative than I actually feel!!

Watching Athena finally get to cry with relief at the end of the case was so cathartic and it’s probably one of my favourite sprites of her.  Seeing Simon freed of his chains was also amazing

THE BREAKDOWN HOLY SH-T!!!!! WHOA!!! THAT WAS NUTS THAT WAS FREAKY THAT WAS AWESOME!!!! IMPOSTER PHOENIX HAUNTS MY FUCKING NIGHTMARES AND IT PROBABLY HAUNTS PHOENIX TOO.

Having the final trial in the ruined courtroom just fit the aesthetic of this case so well and it was super cool. Like!!! ajsdklajdlkjsa!!!!!!

So all in all: lots of great ideas, felt a bit rushed or underdevloped in some places, athena deserves the whole world.

(Send me an Ace Attorney character, ship, or trial and I’ll ramble my thoughts on it!!)

[apollo-justice-for-all]

Summary: Seven years ago, legendary defense attorney Phoenix Wright was caught presenting forged evidence in court, and was disbarred as a result. His client vanished without a trace, leaving behind his young daughter. Now, Phoenix is on a case of his own: to track down the man who ruined his reputation before anyone else comes to harm. But to do that, he will have to rely on someone who works for that man. A young defense attorney, whose voice is as loud as his suit is red. His name: Apollo Justice!

A retelling of Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney to be more compliant with Dual Destinies and Spirit of Justice because I can.

Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence Category: M/M Fandom: 逆転裁判 | Gyakuten Saiban | Ace Attorney Relationships: Garyuu Kyouya/Odoroki Hosuke | Klavier Gavin/Apollo Justice, Naruhodou Ryuuichi/Mitsurugi Reiji | Phoenix Wright/Miles Edgeworth Characters: Odoroki Hosuke | Apollo Justice, Naruhodou Minuki | Trucy Wright, Garyuu Kyouya | Klavier Gavin, Naruhodou Ryuuichi | Phoenix Wright, Garyuu Kirihito | Kristoph Gavin, Hozuki Akane | Ema Skye, Mitsurugi Reiji | Miles Edgeworth, Daichi Aoi | Clay Terran, some surprise cameos from the original trilogy Additional Tags: Novelization, Retelling, Adventure, Mystery, Murder Mystery, Humor, Fluff, Angst, Drama, Canon-Typical Violence, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Minor Character Death, Nightmares, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Found Family, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Grief/Mourning, Daddy Issues

--

*flops over*

I did it... I finally started writing this goddamn fanfic! A few days late from this blog’s first anniversary, but who cares?! I don’t regret this in the slightest!

Progress will be incredibly slow for the time being, just so I can work out the kinks and stuff. I might add some things that were not present in the game, but were implied in the later games, such as Clay encouraging Apollo to continue working as a lawyer, and some other things. Also a whole lotta Klapollo because this is MY fanfic, and I do what I want.

Anyways, enjoy!

(P.S. There will be minor characters who will also be named after puns. For this chapter alone, Oswald Enswell = all's well [that] ends well.)

(P.P.S. This is also the 1000th post on this blog, holy crap! Well, in that case, consider this my thanks for being there for me every step of the way!)

[giveamadeuschohisownmovie]

After going the Ace Attorney games again, here are my rankings of the six main series prosecutors:

(Side note: Still haven’t played any of the Investigations games or the Great Ace Attorney series)

6) Nahyuta Sahdmadhi

Poor Nahyuta. I hate to place him in the last place slot but after going through Spirit of Justice again, he still hasn’t grown on me. Let me just say, I don’t really like Spirit of Justice. There are a lot of aspects of that game I was not fond of, such as the final case being a repeat of Farewell, My Turnabout and the underwhelming Khura’in Civil War storyline. However, in Nahyuta’s defense, I don’t hate the character.

Nahyuta has a decent storyline and he has a unique gimmick. It’s just when compared to the other 5 prosecutors, he doesn’t really do anything for me. His storyline with Apollo feels like a rehash of the previous games (oh, the prosecutor was close friends with the defense attorney? Hmm, where have I heard that before *coughPhoenixandMilescough* *coughAthenaandSimoncough*). Also, he’s not as fun or as interesting as his counterparts. 

Basically, I don’t think Nahyuta’s a bad character, he’s just my least favorite of the prosecutors.  

5) Franziska von Karma

This one hurt me, mainly because I love Franziska. She seems like a fun character outside of the main Ace Attorney games based on her appearances in the Investigations series. However, if we’re going purely with her role as prosecutor in the main series, then I have to place her in the 5th place slot. But it’s not because I think she’s a bad character. She’s great! She’s a fun character to interact with and she has an interesting backstory. The problem is Justice for All.

In my opinion, Justice for All is the worst Ace Attorney game in the main series. It’s to the point that it affected my placement of Franziska on this list. First off, it’s already bad that one of the main cases she’s the prosecutor in is Turnabout Big Top aka the worst case in the entire franchise. But then there’s Farewell, My Turnabout, which absolutely screws over her character by making Miles Edgeworth the focus of the finale. 

Now let me back up. Before you Miles Edgeworth fans jump down my throat, I am aware that Miles is not the prosecutor for the final case in the first game. I am NOT saying that Franziska needed to be the prosecutor in Farewell, My Turnabout. I am NOT saying Miles ruined the story. The point I’m making is that even though Miles wasn’t the prosecutor in Turnabout Goodbyes, he was still the main focus. Everything in that episode revolved around Miles’ past and his relationship with Manfred von Karma. He still got a complete character arc even though he wasn’t the rival. 

In Farewell, My Turnabout, Capcom just went and said, “Go fuck yourself Franziska” and made everything about Miles again. Franziska was barely a presence in that final episode and by the time the game ended, her arc felt incomplete. Yes, the writers attempted to make her relevant to the story by having her be the one to deliver the evidence but just think about that for a second. She’s the main prosecutor of the 2nd game and the most significant thing she did in the finale was deliver items. I honestly feel her appearance in Trials and Tribulations was damage control for how shit she was treated in Justice for All.

Thankfully, it looks like the Investigations games treated Franziska better. But as for the main series, she deserved a whole lot better. I’d love to place her higher but with the storyline she got, I have to mark her down.  

4) Klavier Gavin

I don’t have much to say about Klavier. I think he’s a cool character and he has a kickass gimmick. However, he’s just a mid-tier kind of character for me. Like with Franziska, it’s mainly to do with Apollo Justice / Ace Attorney 4.

People have already pointed this out but the storyline in Apollo Justice feels more like set-up for something bigger. When I first went through Apollo Justice, it felt like there was going to be more to Kristoph Gavin, more to Klavier Gavin. Phoenix Wright was at the start of a different kind of character arc and the Gramaryes/Trucy Wright would be the main focus of the Apollo Justice trilogy, just like how Maya and the Feys were the focus of Phoenix’s trilogy.

In fact, just going off on a little tangent, I already made a post about this but I was thinking that the abandoned Apollo Justice trilogy would lead to Phoenix becoming a Godot-type character. He had the seeds of that character arc planted, with his darker behavior, willingness to bend the legal system to get what he wants (using forged evidence and trapping Kristoph with the jurist system) and a similar reason to become an anti-villain (Godot was poisoned by Dahlia, Phoenix was disbarred thanks to Kristoph). He would then show up in the final game as the main rival, leading to a Phoenix and Apollo showdown.

Sorry, this was supposed to be about Klavier. The point I’m trying to make is, Klavier is a cool character but he feels wasted. Since the 5th and 6th games didn’t follow-up on the 4th game’s story, it feels like Klavier was left behind as a result. That’s why he’s low on the list. 

3) Simon Blackquill

Ah yes, the twisted samurai. For the record, Dual Destinies is my favorite Apollo Justice-era game, so it’s not a huge surprise that Simon is my favorite Apollo Justice-era prosecutor. For me, what makes Simon stand out is that he’s the most “complete” of the three AJ-era prosecutors.

My issue with Klav was that his storyline feels incomplete while my issue with Yuty was that he wasn’t that interesting of a character. Simon doesn’t have those problems. For one, he has the best gimmick between the three of them. It’s an interesting concept to have a prosecutor be an actual death row inmate. What’s cool about that is that the death row inmate gimmick worked for Simon’s character arc.

Dual Destinies set Simon up as the embodiment of the dark age of the law. He was a death row inmate who constantly talked about killing his foes. That’s why the reveal that he’s actually an honorable man who never killed anyone works so well, it’s a strong contrast to how he’s set up. Also, it’s a twist that works with Simon’s character as he’s supposed to be a psychology expert. He plays up his image of a crazy killer to intimidate his enemies. 

Other than that, I also feel like Simon had the best storyline of the AJ-era prosecutors. Also, even though his appearance in Spirit of Justice was a bit silly, it was still fun to see this character in a more lighter tone. 

2) Miles Edgeworth

Yeah, of course Edgey is this high up on the list. Like I wrote, I can’t count the Investigations games as I haven’t played them but even then, Miles had a pretty good run in the main series. He had a strong character arc in the first game, a decent return in the 2nd game, and a strong return in the 3rd game. It was great that you actually got to play as Miles in T&T and that he was the acting defense attorney. For me, Trials and Tribulations felt like the end of Miles’ character arc as he finally became a defense attorney, just like his dad. 

And honestly, Capcom should’ve left him at that. I’m not saying this is why he’s only 2nd on the list but I just want to say, I don’t think he needed to be in Dual Destinies and Spirit of Justice. Yes, I am aware that Miles’ appearances in those games were just fun guest appearances for people who want that AA original trilogy nostalgia. However, I felt that his appearances in 5 and 6 slightly ruined his character arc. 

Why? Because he was back to being a prosecutor. Last time I checked, wasn’t his entire character arc about him becoming a defense attorney? He wanted to be a DA like his dad, he developed a misguided hatred of defense attorneys due to the DL-6 Incident, he was misled into believing that the number one goal of an attorney is to win court cases by Manfred von Karma, he was rescued by his friend Phoenix which led to him reassessing his life goals, he goes on a trip around the world to find himself, and then in the final game, he becomes Iris’ defense attorney, overcoming his initial hatred of DAs and fulfilling his childhood goal.

Maybe it’s just me but having Miles come back as a prosecutor in the AJ-era games feels like a step back in character development. But once again, that’s not the reason why he’s 2nd on the list. I like Miles, but I like the next guy even more. It should be obvious who it is by now.     

1) Godot

Yes, I know, this is potentially a controversial choice. I just wanna say, I don’t care if you love, like, dislike, or hate Godot. Let me write the reasons why Godot is my number one prosecutor.

When I was writing this list out, I was measuring the prosecutors based on several factors. Story, character arc, design, strength as a rival, humor and so on. Just to be clear, I don’t think Godot is the best of all those categories. For example, when it comes to strength as a rival, I’d say Miles and Franziska were stronger opponents. Godot is definitely a mid-tier rival, which makes sense as he’s supposed to be a rookie / defense attorney out of his league. 

So, why Godot then if he’s not the best in every category? Honestly...I’d say it’s the character overall. Regardless of your feelings towards the character, I feel that we can all agree that Godot’s story is the most tragic. 

Let’s recap; Godot’s story is of a good man who was destroyed by a wicked monster. He was then abandoned by the people around him and lost the love of his life. With no one to help him, he let his grief consume him to the point that he became a bitter shell of his former self, obsessed with shaming the people he feels are responsible for the death of his lover. It’s only at the end when he realizes that all of his hatred and anger was just him projecting his own self-hatred onto someone else. That even though it wasn’t his fault, he still holds himself responsible for his lover’s death. However, it’s too late to make amends as he’s damned himself. In a moment of blind rage, he doomed himself by committing murder. 

That is some HEAVY material for a game series that features the main character cross examining a parrot and conveniently developing amnesia just to set up a tutorial sequence. 

Going on another tangent, you know who Godot’s storyline reminded me of? Jax Teller from Sons of Anarchy. Both characters started out as honorable men who were deeply in love. Then, tragedy struck. They lost the love of their lives and, in their final character arc, they took their rage out on everyone. Sons of Anarchy season 7 is still some of the most devastating TV I’ve ever watched and part of the reason was because of how sad it was to watch Jax fall. He fell so deep into his rage and anger that by the time he got his revenge, he burned so many bridges that the only place his character could go was death.

Same with Godot. He’s a damn Shakespearean tragic protagonist in that he was ultimately undone by his own rage and anger. You can sympathize with him based on how he came to be but at the same time, he destroyed himself. It’s a devastating character arc and, as someone who loves Shakespeare and all things theater, I absolutely loved it. It’s the one character arc that has stuck with me after going through all six games over again, even more so than Miles and Simon’s arcs.

In addition to all of this, the fact that Godot’s character arc tied the entire trilogy together is definitely worth noting. From his storyline, the game tied together Mia Fey’s death, highlighted Mia’s importance to the main storyline, and even set up Trials and Tribulations’ main villain, Dahlia Hawthorne. I love it when stories do that, when the character arcs actually work hand-in-hand with the story that the writer is trying to tell. 

On some smaller notes, Godot definitely has the best character design in my opinion. Also, the best character theme (I still have the Fragrance of Dark Coffee playing in my head). Lastly, he has the best case in the original trilogy (Bridge to the Turnabout), as well as the best moment (the original pursuit theme plays when you expose the knife wound underneath his mask). 

So yeah. In my opinion, Godot is the best Ace Attorney prosecutor. Those are my reasons, feel free to disagree if you want.   

[ihavethoughtsplural]

Blood and Chocolate: An Adaptation in Name Only

Previously:  Section 0 – Introduction, Section 1 – The Book, Section 2 – Adaptation Challenges

Section 3 – The Adaptation

Preface:  The 2007 adaptation of Blood and Chocolate directed by Katja von Garnier and written by Ehren Kruger and Christopher Landon did not receive critical acclaim.  It stands at 11% on Rotten Tomatoes, and a New York Times review by Jeannette Catsoulis called it “uninvolving and cliché-ridden”.  The box office returns were similarly underwhelming, grossing $3.5 million domestically and $6.3 million internationally against a $15 million budget – an $8.7 million loss for a production company used to receiving at least a modest return on investment for other, similar properties. 

(Ahem.)

But, does it have any merit?   It may have failed by the metrics of profitability and critical response, but that does not mean that the film was an entirely, or even partially, failed endeavor.

Summary:  Following a surprisingly faithful Romeo and Juliet plot, the movie Blood and Chocolate centers on Vivian, the werewolf Juliet, an orphan living in Bucharest with her Aunt Astrid, who serves as a rough Nurse analogue.  They are ruled by Gabriel, the Paris, a tyrannical pack leader with romantic designs on Vivian.  The human Romeo, Aiden, is a wandering American artist who encounters Vivian anonymously in an empty church, whereupon he becomes determined to find and court her. Meanwhile, tensions are rising with the Tybalt character, Vivian’s cousin Rafe.  He discovers Vivian and Aiden’s romance, threatens Aiden, and is eventually killed by Aiden in self-defense.

Eventually, Vivian gets poisoned and she and Aiden attempt to escape the city.  She is captured and locked up in Gabriel’s headquarters, where Aiden arrives and rescues her.  In the process, Vivian kills Gabriel.  Afterward, they escape, steal Gabriel’s car, and drive off into the sunset.

Also, there’s a prophecy about Vivian? More on that later.

Themes: The themes of the movie deviate sharply from the themes of the book.  No longer does Vivian struggle with what she wants as opposed to what she needs, because the movie removes any such opposition.   In the movie, as in the book, Vivian wants to be with Aiden, but the movie rearranges the rest of the plot and the characters so that what she no longer needs to accept (and find a partner who also accepts) her dual nature as a werewolf to find happiness and fulfillment. Instead, what the film version of Vivian needs is to get away from her creepy, possessive pack leader and forge her own destiny.  This “need” no longer stands in opposition to her “want”.  On the contrary, the two share a resolution – run away from Bucharest with Aiden. The tension between the human and the animal sides of Vivian’s nature is also reworked.  In the book, she can’t pretend to be human, but she also can’t lose control and give in to her animal side.  She needs to balance both.   The movie, on the other hand, has Vivian definitively choose her human side by choosing Aiden.  Actually, no, it’s not just that she chooses her human side – the movie shows her actively rejecting her werewolf side throughout the movie. And, well, given the way that werewolf society is treating her, I can’t really blame her.  I wouldn’t fight to stay with these people either.  They were ready to pair her off with a man old enough to be her father without her consent.  

Honestly, I wasn’t really wondering why she wanted to leave with Aiden, but more wondering why she hadn’t left already. 

This leads into the theme that was added for the movie: destiny vs. choice.   As a girl from “the line of Kings,” Vivian is destined by a nebulous prophecy to lead the Bucharest pack into the Age of Hope.  Who prophesied this?  If she’s from the line of Kings, why is Gabriel leading the pack?  Does Vivian even fulfill this prophecy?  We never really find out.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m a sucker for a prophecy storyline.  It just – it has to matter.  And the prophecy in this movie does not matter.  You could cut every mention of it, and nothing substantial would change. One of the biggest mysteries about this movie is why the screenwriters added a prophecy element if they weren’t going to bother to pay it off.

She is also destined (either by the prophecy or because Gabriel says so) to be Gabriel’s next mate, continuing the tradition of the pack leader choosing a new mate every 7 years.  Vivian does not appear to have a choice in the matter.

Throughout the movie, Vivian feels chained by this destiny, leading her to keep Aiden at a distance and warning him away from her.  Aiden, however, ignores her boundaries and her clear wish to be left alone.  He tells her that she needs to ignore her family’s plans for her and make her own choices, mostly because he’s hoping that she’ll chose to date him. In the end, Vivian accepts Aiden’s outlook, choosing to defy Gabriel’s wishes by saving Aiden and escaping Bucharest with him.

Highs: There are two major elements that I like about this movie, and I do honestly like them. I’ve watched this movie a lot, and, no, it’s not just hatewatching.  I genuinely enjoy this movie.

o   The Cast: I really like Agnes Bruckner.  She was great in the slasher movie, Venom, and I think she made an admirable Vivian.  Despite some of the cheesier lines, she turns in a decent performance.  I believed that she felt guilty about her family’s deaths.  I believed that she felt torn between her attraction to Aiden and her duty to her pack. I even believed that moment in the ending where Vivian can’t bring herself to kill Gabriel, despite the threat that he represents.  

Of course, the script ruins that seconds later when she just… shoots him anyway?   Also, and this is a violently American thing to say, but did they have to use the wimpiest sounding gun possible? 

I think that Hugh Dancy as Aiden was the standout performance of the movie.  He portrayed Aiden as playful, sweet, and resourceful, and his switch from sensitive artist to unlikely badass is nicely set up with his story about defending himself against his abusive father.  I also think that he and Bruckner have some decent chemistry.  Say what you will about the romantic fountain montage - they look like they’re genuinely enjoying each other’s company.  

Also, he spends the last half of the movie bruised and slightly bloody, and I don’t mind that at all.

As for the rest of the cast, I think they gave fine performances despite the material that they had to work with. When movies fail, there seems to be an impulse to blame the cast and rip their performances apart – but I won’t. I don’t blame the cast for the commercial and critical failure of this movie – I blame the people who had actual creative control (the producers, director, screenwriters, etc.).

o   The Concept: An ancient dynasty of werewolf leaders extending from primeval Europe into the modern day?  Yes fuckin’ please!  This is exactly the kind of canon expansion that I was craving from the book!   And, okay, yeah.  The book’s version of werewolf society is very different from the movie’s version.  In the book, werewolf packs are moderately sized clusters of families and individuals ruled by an alpha pair.  Other werewolf packs exist, but there doesn’t seem to be any person or group governing werewolf society as a whole.   This would seem to directly contradict the movie’s take on werewolf society, but it doesn’t have to.  The book’s werewolves originated in western Europe, and from there emigrated to the US in the 1600’s.  The movie’s werewolves originated in eastern Europe and stayed there.  There’s no reason why those two groups of werewolves couldn’t have started with or evolved two different social structures leading up to the present day.   In fact, if you can ignore the shared titles and character names, the movie Blood and Chocolate can be viewed as a new story set in the fictional universe established by the book Blood and Chocolate. And that’s how I choose to view this– it lets me get past my nerd rage and enjoy the movie for what it is.

Lows: While I do honestly enjoy this movie, I would be lying if pretended that it was flawless.  Blood and Chocolate didn’t get its reputation by accident.  Here are my thoughts on some of the more egregious missteps. o   The Script:  Okay guys, we need to talk.  I’ve seen people defending this movie, saying that it’s an unfairly maligned gem, and I CAN’T.  Guys, the dialogue.  Have you LISTENED to the dialogue?

Aiden, pleading:  “I’ll take the train, I swear it.  I’m gone.  I’m on that train.”

Rafe:  “I AM THE TRAIN!”

(Boy, WHY are you crouching on the railing like a heterochromatic gremlin?)

Like I said in the last section, I don’t blame the actors for the movie’s failure.  I don’t.  They had no control over this shit.  I do, however, blame the screenwriters; all SIX of them.  This film had SIX separate people working on the script and was still released with Hugh Dancy shouting, “If you cared a goddamn thing about me, you would have left me before we ever met!” 

This is astonishing for its misunderstanding of linear time if for nothing else.  

Seriously, though – Hugh Dancy, cinnamon roll and internet darling, cannot make these lines sound good.  When even the best actor in your movie can’t make it work, you know that the script is baaaaad.

o   The Wolves: Remember the bit about practical effects vs. CGI in the previous post?  Yeah, the filmmakers went hard on the CGI.  It made sense given the relatively small budget to go the CGI route as a money saving maneuver.  However, the director, Katja von Garnier, decided to use the CGI in the most ridiculous way possible.

(🎶 FIGHTING EVIL BY MOONLIGHT! 🎶)

The werewolves jump into the air, turn into an ethereal glow, and emerge as wolves.  While this is not an inherently bad idea (it’s different, and it could, in theory, look cool), the execution was a huge misfire.  Seeing the actors leap forward into a sparkly, pastel shimmer was never anything but ridiculous, and the Sailor Moon aesthetic of it just did not fit with the grungy, realistic look of the rest of the movie.

(Hey, cinematographer: if you want these transformations to fit with the rest of the movie, maybe make the movie LESS F*ING BROWN?) Additionally, the transformed werewolves were simply real wolves.  Listening to Katja von Garnier’s commentary, you come away with the impression that she is suuuuuper proud of getting the cast and crew to work with live animals.  However, the wolves that they used are a bit on the smaller side.

As a result, they didn’t really inspire much fear.  For example; in the scene where Rafe murders the girl he’s been stalking, you see both the girl and the wolf in the same shot, and it absolutely kills the tension. Like, girl - roll up a newspaper and boop him on the nose.

o   Rafe:  The screenwriters desperately wanted Rafe to be menacing, and bless Bryan Dick for trying, but it does not work at all. Rafe in the movie is petulant, sleazy, definitely an asshole, and explicitly a murderer, but I never believed him as a threat.   In the confrontation at the chapel, Hugh Dancy stands half a head taller than Bryan Dick, and while neither of them are exactly musclebound, it’s pretty obvious who would win in a fight.  For me to buy Rafe as a legitimate danger, he needed to be less foppish, more unhinged, and just physically bigger.

(FFS, Vivian is taller than he is!  How is he supposed to be intimidating?)

o   Gabriel: I don’t know who decided to turn the romantic lead of the book into the jealous villain of the movie, but they need to be slapped across the face with a trout.  It’s been over a decade since the movie came out, and I have learned to shrug off most of the bizarre adaptational choices, but this one still just pisses me off.  The evisceration of Gabriel’s character is the biggest betrayal of the source material.  

In the book, Gabriel was a foil to Aiden, and Vivian choosing Gabriel symbolized her acceptance of her dual nature. It meant that she wouldn’t have to compromise her identity to be accepted and loved.   The adaptation could have provided an opportunity to rework Gabriel’s character arc.  It could have cleaned up the age-gap ickiness, removed the non-consensual kiss, nixed the prior relationship with Vivian’s mother and generally made Gabriel as a love interest more palatable for movie audiences. But, whatever.  The filmmakers already threw out the core of the human vs. animal theme from the book, so why not just utterly warp Gabriel while they’re at it?  Plus, the clueless human love interest vs. the lecherous supernatural stalker dynamic worked for Underworld, so it’s going to work here, right?  

The Stuff I’m Choosing Not to Nitpick (in depth):  I just- I don’t know, man.  I used to get really worked up about this stuff, but I don’t really feel like devoting any real analysis to these points.  Take these potshots and do with them what you will.

o   The Parkour: Time has not been kind to parkour.  The filmmakers gambled on it being cool for the long haul, and they lost that wager.  I get that it takes a lot of skill, and I get what the filmmakers were trying to do with it, but it just looks silly. o   The Hunt: I mean, it directly violates the most important werewolf law from the source material, but I’m willing to believe that this ancient werewolf faction in Romania came up with a sanctioned way to hunt humans, so I can forgive this. o   The Eye Thing: The early-mid aughts were really impressed with the power and symbolism of colored contacts, weren’t they?

o   Astrid: They mashed Astrid and Esme’s characters together and called the resulting chimera Vivian’s aunt.  I don’t hate this change as much as I used to. I mostly just wonder why they bothered.  The movie had already changed the book’s storyline so much that neither Astrid nor Esme were necessary for the new plot.  They could have cut this character out entirely and no one would have missed her.

o   The White Wolf:  Of course the main character turns into the only white wolf in the movie.  ‘Cuz symbolism!  

o   The (implied) Sex Scene:  Sure, she’s dying of silver poisoning, you’re both hiding in a decrepit film warehouse and the werewolf mafia is hunting you, but GO AHEAD.  This is the ideal time AND place to bone!

(This woman is clearly DTF.)

Verdict: I want to be really clear on this point – I love this movie.  I mean, let me remind you of my cinematic tastes.

Here’s the thing - there is a difference between movies that are “good” and movies that are “enjoyable”.  Blood and Chocolate is not a “good” movie. The plot is formulaic as hell, the dialogue is laughably inept, and any actual potential it had to do something new and innovative with the werewolf genre was squandered.   Seriously – one of the remarkable things about the book was how it centered a monster story on the monsters and made them sympathetic.  The movie? Turns the monsters back into one-dimensional bad guys.  But, hey, at least they made the transformations maaaaaaagical! That said, Blood and Chocolate is absolutely an “enjoyable” movie.  I have watched this thing dozens of times since it came out, and each time I find something new to amuse me.  The dialogue is hilarious, the special effects miss the mark so badly, and every time you find a new plot hole, an angel gets its wings.  What’s more, it contains enough genuinely good elements to balance out the bad.  It is a delightful example of low camp, and a worthy addition to any “so bad it’s good” film collection.

I’m not alone in that assessment, either. If you look at amateur reviews of the movie, you’ll find a lot of people defending it despite its flaws.  It has an audience!  

So, why didn’t it make more money?  

Next Week:  Section 4 – The Autopsy

[themattress]

My Ace Attorney video game tier list.

S Tier: The original Phoenix Wright and Trials and Tribulations, both games that have entered truly iconic territory and haven’t been matched by any other installment in the series.

A Tier: Justice for All, which may be the weakest of the original trilogy but is still a damn great game, with the “Farewell, My Turnabout” case alone making it worth the price of admission.

B Tier: The Investigations spin-offs: Miles Edgeworth and Prosecutor’s Path. Edgeworth is an awesome character and it’s a delight to get to play as him as he works alongside his own quirky supporting cast to solve grand, inter-connected mysteries that span the globe.

C Tier: Dual Destinies, which I honestly believe is the best of the “Apollo Justice trilogy”. It’s not particularly good but it’s not particularly bad either, it strikes the best balance between the old Phoenix style and the new Apollo style, has some standout new characters like Athena Cykes, Simon Blackquill, and Bobby Fulbright, and makes good usage of the 3DS’ abilities. 

D Tier: Spirit of Justice. A lot of people praise this game and think that it’s a step up from Dual Destinies, and I just don’t get it. There are certainly good elements in it, but the bad elements ultimately weigh out. The stories of the Ace Attorney games have always relied on stretching credibility with their “everything is connected!” style of writing, but for some reason this one finally broke my suspension of disbelief, and is just too convoluted for its own good. Honestly, I had more fun with the non-canon DLC episodes than I did with the main story!

E Tier: Apollo Justice. Shu Takumi, I love you, but man oh man did you fuck this one up! What could and should have been a fresh start for the franchise was utterly ruined right out the gate by the decision to tie Apollo Justice so heavily to Phoenix Wright, which made it impossible for him and his game to stand on their own. While players in Japan seemed to embrace the game just fine, it didn’t fare so well with the international community, who widely preferred Phoenix and took umbrage at the fact that this story required him to be publicly disgraced and lose his attorney’s licence so soon after the events of his trilogy - a textbook Happy Ending Override - in order for Apollo to rise. I think the Ace Attorney series is in fine shape, there are certainly worse out there, but it could have been better had only this game been willing to detach itself from all that had so conclusively ended in the original trilogy.