#dua to forget the past

[islamicduaformyloverback]

Dua To Forget Someone Completely - Qurani Prayer

Dua To Forget Someone Completely or to remove a toxic person from your life can be used to forget the past. We will provide you dua to stop thinking about someone. If you think about ending a relationship, you should know that it isn’t as easy as people make it out to be. This would happen to someone who is stuck in the past. You either stayed in a relationship with our ex-boyfriend/ex-girlfriend…

[drewsbraziliangf]

there'll be happiness after you | Drew Starkey x black!reader

summary: what can you do when you're back in the same place where you had your heart broken for the last time? Is there any way to move past all the hurt and longing?

a/n: ok so I'm sorry for the long wait for this... This will be the last part of this story :'( I want to thank you guys for the love shown in this because this is my first time writing for anything other than House of the Dragon in a loooong time. I hugely suggest listening to "No Goodbyes" by Dua Lipa, "Funeral" by Zara Larsson or "happiness" by Taylor Swift during this read. I hope y'all enjoy it!

dividers: @/saradika

warnings: some cuss words, angst.

The morning after a was never my favorite. Always waking up with a pounding headache and lips as dry as a desert is not the best way to start a day. But there was something about today that made it all worse, for some reason, my brain decided to remember most of the events of the previous night─ touches, kisses, promises, apologies─ everything.

A part of me prayed that I'd forget about it and be able to sneak out without him noticing, but seemed like he was expecting that already and gotten up before I was even awake. The only thing that made it clear that he was indeed at home, was the soft sounds coming from the kitchen.

Okay... I know this apartment like the back of my mind, so since the kitchen door wasn't a direct line for the main door, maybe if I'm quiet enough I'd be able to leave without him noticing, right?

Dwelling on it would only make it worse, so I got up, picked up my clothes from the day before, and quickly got dressed again, this time feeling much more exposed than I did last night. I looked around for my phone, but it wasn't anywhere to be seen. Cursing myself, I remembered that I left it in the living room. Great, a detour.

Thankfully I didn't have to worry too much about how my hair looked as the braids did half the work in keeping it presentable. With a sigh, I walked out of the room with my heels in hand and kept quietly praying to the gods above to grant me this one wish. I just needed my phone and then I'm able to leave.

As I reached the main hall, I could see the bathroom door closed and the lights on. Great, this would be even easier. I quickly walked towards the living room looking for my phone, thankfully it was exactly where I remembered leaving it. It took me no time to grab the device and turn toward the door, only to have one of the biggest jump scares of my life.

"HOLY SHIT!" My left hand instinctively went to my chest as my heart rate increased.

Yeah, there goes my prayers. Drew was leaning against the doorway, his arms crossed over his chest. He was wearing a black tank top and a pair of grey sweatpants. His hair was messy and there was still a small air of sleepiness around him. He cleared his throat as he stared at me.

"Yeah, I knew you'd try to do that," he said with a shrug.

"Well, this is exactly what I was trying to avoid," I snap back after I'm calmer.

I could feel my hands getting sweaty and the weight of his gaze upon me was making me feel so uncomfortable. Like there was this white elephant in the room getting bigger by the second.

"Uhm, I kinda have to go-"

"Come on, let's talk over breakfast."

Without giving me a chance to answer he walked back towards the kitchen and I had no choice but to follow him. With a bit of reluctance, I dragged my bare feet after him. The cold tiles on the floor were not even bothering me as they were five minutes ago.

The worst kind of deja vu bathed me as I stood by the counter. The last time I was here was the worst day of my life, so I wasn't feeling great watching him move so effortlessly.

He filled two glasses with black coffee and the toaster with white bread before picking up some jam and cottage cream cheese.

I sat on one of the benches and quietly accepted the plate he handed me once it was all done, he then proceeded to sit by my side and we began to eat in silence, more like me watching him eat as I sipped my coffee.

"So you were just going to sneak out?" He asked casually after a few minutes as he coated his toast with jam.

"What did you expect me to do? I shouldn't even come here in the first place," I bite back and he places his mug down.

"Well, I thought you would at least grant me the chance to talk. We have a lot to talk about."

"No, we don't. We fucked and that's it. It shouldn't have happened and it won't happen again. It can't happen again." I confess, with the instinct of avoiding to meet his eyes.

"What do you mean? We have to talk this through and fix what happened. I know that I fucked up but you just left. As if it all meant nothing to you. We were getting married, for fucks sake." He says, throwing his hands in the air in annoyance.

At that, I stand up and begin walking back toward the living room. I had to leave. This could escalate and both of us leave even more hurt than before.

"I'm not doing this again. I didn't just leave. You pushed me away. You didn't give me a reason to stay. That's what happened."

"I love you! How can you say that?"

"Yeah, you might. But do you like me?" The words leave my mouth before a second to think them over.

He watches me for a second before running a hand over his face. All the traces of sleep were gone from his features now.

"Because I did. And I was so in love with you too," I continue, as my eyes begin to sting. "I was so ready to have the rest of my life by your side. So, how could you do that to me? When did I stop being enough?"

The questions kept flowing out and I couldn't filter my feelings or my words. I just wanted this to end once and for all. My brain couldn't stop reminiscing on last night's events. His touches, his kisses, him.

But being sober now and knowing it all was killing me. How could I be such a fool? After I tried so hard to erase him from my mind...

"No, baby, please listen to me, okay? Just let me talk," he pleaded taking a step closer.

"No, Drew. There is nothing to talk about. I shouldn't have come here and this shouldn't even be happening."

My voice is slightly pitchier than I'd like but I couldn't help it.

"Do you have any idea of how hard it was for me?" I ask looking at his glossy eyes. "I don't get to travel all around the world and the country so I can simply put what happened aside. I had to deal with pitying looks for weeks. I had to walk around the city remembering a life we planned together but wouldn't have anymore. I have to keep on living knowing that that the man I loved didn't choose me when I really fucking needed him to."

At this point, I wasn't trying to keep track of my tears or my words. I just needed that out of my chest so I could be free. I was so tired of carrying these in my heart that even if it hurt, it was freeing.

"So it would be so fucking unfair to me if I just walked back into this," I say as I wipe my face with the back of my hand. "I can't do this to myself again. No matter how much a big part of me still cares about you. I deserve better. I have to choose myself because you clearly didn't."

He didn't say anything at that because there wasn't anything that could be said. Both of us knew that I was right.

Seeing him cry was like picking at an open wound, it made me feel even worse. But, what else could I do? I could feel this eating me up inside and I couldn't look past all the suffering I went through just because he showed up again.

"Loving someone isn't enough to keep a relationship going. You have a lot to do and you didn't, you really didn't. So I'm sorry if I can't just pretend to be okay with everything after a few hours spent together after a few months."

"You think you're the only one suffering in this? I lost you and I had to wake up in our bed every day. I had to be in this apartment knowing that the person who made it a home wasn't going to return. And that no matter what I did or who came by, it was never going to be the same."

His confession made my heart clench but he brought this upon himself. It wasn't me who gave up on it.

"And who's to blame for that?" I say looking into his eyes.

"I know. Don't you think I've blamed myself enough for that?  Because I did, for all the days that you have not been here. This is the first time in seven months when I have felt a sense of normalcy and that's because you're here. Don't you see that?"

Now that the bandaid was ripped once again, the both of us were in tears standing in the middle of the living room. The walls felt like they were getting closer and closer each second that passed.

"Did you know that Frankie came by on the third month? She gave me the TED talk of my life."

That caught your attention, Frankie has never mentioned that. At all.

"She told me that she knew that I wasn't good enough for you from the start, but that she had never expected me to be a shitty partner too. That she had never seen someone disrespect their girlfriend as much as I did without even knowing and that now that I was single the reason for my breakup pushed me aside for someone more interesting. So that not only was I trash for  how I treated you but I was also dumb for not seeing it."

His words come as a shock to you. With shaking hands and deep breaths, you look around the room trying to focus on something that isn't his red face.

"And she's not wrong, you know? And I was also a coward for never coming to you and watching your life on the sidelines."

At this point, I was feeling the huge urge to sob. My hands were sweaty, my tears were not even drying in my face as new ones came down.

"So I'm sorry, okay? I'm so fucking sorry for it. But please, don't say that I didn't care enough about you. Because I did."

His words keep ringing in my ear for a while as I try to place my thoughts correctly. Seven months ago I thought that it would be the last time I would see him and then I'd be able to heal and move on, but now seeing him and hearing everything was bringing a new wave of unaddressed feelings that I have not dealt with yet.

"I can't." A whisper comes out of my lips after a while. "And you have to understand why I can't do this again. I can't ignore everything."

He looks at me with his lips trembling as his tears keep on falling down his face. In the walls of this apartment now the only sound that rang was defeat. This was a lost cause and no matter what happened, both of us would be losing today. 

"I'm sorry, Drew. I really am, but there's nothing that can be done anymore. " I declare as I finally feel like he might let me go. "I hope you find someone who's ready and brave enough to love you through it all, you deserve to be loved and the times that I felt genuinely loved by you were the greatest. That person just won't be me."

Like the first time, months ago, I turned towards the front door and walked out.  Knowing that he would not follow me and that whatever had remained seven months and thirteen days ago, was completely over this time. Even if a huge part of me kept screaming at me to forgive him, I knew I couldn't. Not only it wouldn't be fair to me but I knew what would happen. Of course she wasn't as present in his life anymore, she completely isolated him from any potential significant other he could have. And if we got back together, the cycle would repeat itself and I would never put myself in a situation where I had to fight for someone's attention just to be tossed aside as if I was nothing. 

In this story, there was ever only one winner and it wasn't either Drew or I. 

💖taglist💖: @emmaafinchh @rafecamerons-national-anthem @bvleeeeeee @a-j-stuffs @maybankslover @lovelylove268 @cooper8224 @esquivelbianca @dreamybabbyy @lulubabii @idiotussupremus @drewsphswife @ietss @noneofyabuisnezs @chenslucy @yvbe99 @sabrina-carpenter-stan-account @theeternaloptimistt @roselibrary @daddydraco0 @iheartcats444 @allopathi

[lilasamaaa]

Havana | Charles Leclerc & Carlos Sainz x Reader

Genre | Angst, Hurt, Smut.

Word count | 5.0K

Warnings | Sexual content, alcohol consumption, cheating, some gaslighting, heartbreak!!

Summary | Reader and Charles, who've been dating for a few years, go on a trip to Cuba between two races. A few days before leaving, they learn that Carlos and Rebecca will be staying at the same resort. Good news, right? Well, if you forget Carlos and reader's years-long mutual attraction. Inspired by the « She chose me/Did she? » trend on TikTok… with a twist.

Author's note | Lord... This was so filthy I'm sorry. This piece is the result of this poll! Wrote half of this listening to These Walls by Dua Lipa, the other with Never Be The Same by Camila Cabello. Just so you get the mood. Not proofread, sorry!

She had been waiting for these holidays for months.

Since the beginning of the season, she hadn't been able to travel with Charles to any race, having no available days off. She was jealous of the others wags. The influencers. The ones who could rearrange their schedules in the blink of an eye to follow their boyfriends to the other side of the world without thinking about the consequences. But she'd foolishly chosen to pursue studies, foolishly found a job in marketing, foolishly trapped herself without even realizing it. She loved her job. Or at least, that's what she repeated to herself every morning when her alarm went off at 6 a.m. Sharp.

She had followed the start of the season through her TV and phone, and had savored every brief moment Charles had spent in Monaco (which represented, like... twenty days, tops, since the beginning of March). She knew she couldn't complain. That she didn't have the right to. She'd chosen to share her life with a high-level and high-profile athlete, and this situation couldn't obviously be all positive. She knew that other women would have sold their souls to be in her place. To wake up next to Charles, even just once a month. So, she never complained. She endured.

Charles had returned from China two days earlier, and they were heading to Cuba this afternoon, preparing for ten days of pure bliss. She was euphoric. Delighted not to set her alarm for the next day, delighted not to see her boss and colleagues for ten days, delighted to spend time with Charles. There wasn't a cloud in the sky. Yet... There was something.

Yesterday night, at the restaurant, as they were making the final preparations, Charles' phone had lit up on the table and the driver had grabbed it, staring at the screen for a few seconds before exclaiming, "Non, j'y crois pas!". She had shot him a questioning look, and her boyfriend had chuckled before saying "Carlos just texted me. Him and Rebecca are staying at the same resort as us in Havana. This is gonna be so cool."

Oh.

She hadn't responded, just smiled, and returned her attention to the plate of pasta in front of her. Carlos was... a friend. Well, it was actually hard to define. He was obviously primarily Charles' friend, but they had crossed paths quite regularly in the past few years, and naturally, they had hit it off. There was just one issue. One tiny thing.

The man drove her crazy. It was ridiculous. Almost humiliating. She had been sharing her life with Charles for four years. She was happy. She was in love! But... She couldn't deny that Carlos made her feel things that Charles never had. Just the thought of acknowledging this made her want to throw up.

She had never acted on her impulses. Absolutely never. But... she could have. She had noticed glances.

It had started one evening at the restaurant, in 2021, when the two Ferrari drivers had organized a double date for their partners to meet. She had immediately loved Isa, with whom she had hit it off right away. The dinner had gone admirably well, the food was amazing, the wine delicious. The wine. There had been too much of it. They all probably thought so, seeing the bottles go by, but no one had stopped. No one wanted to be the one to break the great mood of the evening. So, they’d drank. Again and again.

If at the beginning of the meal, Carlos had just been casting curious glances in her direction, the wine had changed that. By the time Charles was explaining to Isa how they had met, the Spaniard was piercing her with his gaze. Equally intoxicated and never one to back down from a challenge, she had not flinched at the driver's boldness, holding his gaze, not even blinking. It had lasted a minute. Maybe two. Or even five, before Charles had asked her the name of the movie they'd seen on their third date, you know, the one with the mansion, and she’d finally tore her gaze away from Carlos.

"I believe that was Knives Out," she'd replied, smiling fondly at her boyfriend.

The conversation had resumed its course, and a few hours later, the two couples had parted ways. Lying in bed, in the middle of the night, she could still feel Carlos' burning gaze on her. That could have been nothing. She could always blame it on the wine. But there'd been more.

One day, Charles had suggested that she came with him to an interview he was going to do with Carlos. "It won't take long," he had said. "And as soon as it's over, we'll go grab a bite at that Mexican restaurant you love". She had agreed. The questions had started simple.

"What would be your perfect day?"

"What's your pre-race tradition?"

"Describe your ideal woman"

Even though she had been browsing her phone for a while, absorbed by the device, this question had made her look up. Locking eyes with Charles, the driver had smiled at her before answering.

"That's rather easy to answer, because I've already found her. My ideal woman is career-oriented. She works hard, doesn't count her hours. She wants to succeed because she deserves it, not because she's dating me. She excels in everything she undertakes. She sets no limits for herself, fears nothing. Tries everything. She can be uncompromising, but she knows how to be gentle and caring. She has weaknesses, but she only shows them to me. I am her refuge, and she is mine."

She had smiled, touched, blowing a kiss to her boyfriend.

"Carlos?" the interviewer had said.

"My ideal woman..." the Spaniard had started, searching for his words. "Actually, I have the same, erm… taste as Charles. But I would add that my ideal woman isn't afraid to make mistakes. She allows herself to make wrong choices, to take the wrong path. It's okay, she will always find her way back," he had added, looking her straight in the eyes. That bastard can't be for real, she'd thought.

The last... "incident" had occurred at the end of last season. It hadn't been easy, but she had managed to get time off, and she had joined Charles in Abu Dhabi for the last race of the season. Her boyfriend had finished fifth in the championship, and everyone : drivers, engineers, girlfriends, had ended up at the club to celebrate Max's victory.

She wasn't a fan of nightclubs. She was very migraine-prone, and the music, combined with the neon lights, didn't do well with her. Feeling the pain starting behind her eyes, she had signaled to Charles that she was going outside, and despite his insistence, she had convinced him to stay inside, wanting him to enjoy the evening. In the dark corridor leading outside, she had closed her eyes for a second. No more. Just to relieve the pain for a moment. And she had bumped into someone, of course.

The someone being Mister Sainz himself. Of course.

"I'm sorry," she'd said, still rubbing her eyes.

"Are you alright?"

"Just a migraine."

"Here," he'd said, leading her outside. "Let's get some calm."

She was surprised to see no one outside. Granted, it was already late, almost 4 a.m., and many people had left the club already. But still, she'd expected to see a few people. Smokers, at least...

"Charles fought well," Carlos had said, leaning against a wall.

"Yeah. He'll be champion one day."

"Of course," the Spaniard had say, grinning. "He'll have the cup." A pause. "And the girl."

"What's that supposed to mean?" she'd replied, pretending not to understand.

"Everything Charles wants, Charles gets."

She wasn't in the mood for this. Not tonight. Even if she found it hard to meet the Spaniard's gaze. Even if feeling his eyes on her made her shiver. Even if she could feel her lower abdomen tighten every time the driver's smooth voice reached her ears.

"Maybe everything Charles has, Charles fought for," she had replied.

"Oh yeah? Is that the secret?" Carlos had asked, coming closer.

"There's no secret."

"Do you want me to fight for you?" he had added, so close that she could feel his breath on her neck.

"You must have misunderstood," she'd said, finally meeting his gaze. "I'm talking about the championship."

Carlos had let out a laugh. An ironic, mocking laugh. Disappointed, almost. A laugh that meant "You and I understood each other perfectly well, but you won't dare go further". And she hadn't dared. Casting one last glance, she had gone back inside, leaving him alone under the stars of Baku.

She hadn't seen him since. Good riddance.

"I still can't believe it," Charles had said, yesterday night, taking a spoonful of his tiramisu. "At least, you won't be alone when I go golfing. I haven't seen much of Rebecca, but she seems very nice. I'm sure you two will get along well."

"So that's it? Our romantic vacation just turned into a friend's getaway?" she'd asked, almost offended.

"No, of course not. I'm sorry, mon coeur. We'll spend as much time together as possible, but... it could be nice to do a thing or two with them, right? I thought you loved Carlos."

The sentence had overwhelmed her with guilt.

"I like Carlos. I loved Isa, though," she'd answered, pouting, while Charles looked at her with soft eyes.

"Yeah, I know. But we have to come to terms with the fact that we won't see Isa again. Or, at least, not with Carlos." the driver had said, rising from his seat. "I'll pay, will you wait for me outside?"

Three days and three flights later, she's sitting at the hotel restaurant table, facing Carlos, wondering what Charles could have possibly misunderstood in her request a few days earlier. We'll spend as much time together as possible, yeah, right, she thinks, clearly annoyed.

"It's a pleasure to officially meet you, Rebecca," Charles says, giving the model a big smile. "Carlos must only have eyes for you, because I hear about you every other day."

She chokes on her drink. The whole table looks at her.

"Sorry," she says. "Ice cubes."

The conversation resumes, Rebecca proving to be very interesting. And apparently very much in love with Carlos, she thinks as she watches the blue-eyed blonde. She doesn't like the pinch she feels in her heart. She doesn't even want to put a name on it. It doesn't matter.

"I'm so happy that you’re here," Rebecca says after a while. "I can't wait to spend more time with you all," she finishes with a big smile.

"Yeah. Can't wait," Carlos says, turning his gaze away from Rebecca's eyes. Finding hers.

The following days pass without incident. Charles divides his day between the hotel pool, the golf course, and their bed, where they make love several times a day. If for some time she had the feeling that they were less close, everything seems forgotten under the Cuban sun.

One day, while she was riding Charles particularly loudly, the driver's hands digging into her hips in a deliciously painful way, someone had knocked on their bedroom door. Surprised, they had stopped suddenly, like teenagers caught red-handed, before Charles had jumped out of bed, grabbing a towel on the go.

"You're not actually going to open the door, are you?" she had asked, hidden under the sheets, with only her head out.

"You never know, what if it's urgent... Like... A fire?" her boyfriend had replied before opening the door.

It very obviously hadn't been urgent, and she had felt like dying of embarrassment when she'd seen Carlos's smug face on the other side of the door. He'd quickly glanced past Charles to look at her. Very obviously naked.

"Sorry to interrupt," he'd said, accent thick, licking his lips. "We had agreed to meet ten minutes ago to go play tennis."

"Did we? Oh my god, I'm sorry," Charles had said, closing the door behind him, running to the bathroom to change. Ten minutes later, both of them had left and she’d found herself alone in the room. Hot and bothered.

In the evening, to make up for leaving her alone all day, a very tanned Charles had invited her to a fancy restaurant in Havana, before taking her dancing. She had loved that night, so close together in the anonymity of the Cuban capital. She would have liked to prolong the festivities, to pick up where they had left off, but as soon as they'd returned to the room, Charles had laid down "for five minutes," and had been snoring ever since.

A faint knock echoes against the door of the room, and she gets up discreetly, careful not to wake Charles.

"You've got to be kidding me..." she starts, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Are you sleeping in front of our door or something?" she spits out, annoyed to find herself facing the Spaniard for the second time today.

"Charles forgot this," he says, handing her a towel. A towel with the hotel logo. What is she supposed to do with that? There are plenty of them in the closets. She stares at him intensely, arching a brow. Making no move to retrieve the towel.

"Can I come in?" he finally asks after a few seconds.

Without a word, she steps aside, revealing the room, and the bed where Charles is still snoring.

"Wow," Carlos says, walking into the room, laughing. "He's fucking knackered. I might have gone a bit hard on him this afternoon."

"What did you do?" she asks, clearly unamused.

"Nothing special. Made him run a bit." he replies, smirking. "I'm so sorry if you'd planned to finish what you'd started earlier," eyes boring into hers.

"You're a little shit," she says, disappearing into the bathroom.

She thought he would take the hint. Understand that his presence was no longer desired. In the bathroom, she takes off her earrings in front of the mirror, the door to the bedroom wide open, when the Spaniard appears behind her.

"Are you happy with him?" he asks, leaning against the door frame.

"What kind of fucked up question is that?" she snaps, turning to face him.

"A simple one," Carlos says, eyeing her intensely.

"What are you even doing here?" she asks, turning once again to grab her hairbrush from the countertop. "Shouldn't you be fucking your girl or something?"

Her hate-filled sentence makes him pause for a moment, seeking her gaze in the mirror. Faced with his silence, she lifts her head, meeting his gaze in the mirror.

"I had other plans," he states.

"Well, go fuck someone else then," she says, vehemently brushing her hair. She doesn't realize what she's said until the driver presses his chest against her back, gently pinning her against the countertop. She lets go of the brush, holding the surface with both hands, trying to regain composure. His mouth slides along her neck, making her whole body shiver. He's still watching her in the mirror as he gently bites her earlobe with his teeth.

"You're the nastiest person I've ever met," she says, letting a moan escape her lips as the driver slides his hands under her top.

"I've been dreaming of this for years," he says, running his fingers up along her stomach. "Morals be damned."

In the mirror, she casts a glance at Charles, still asleep on the bed. She can't do this. She's not like that. She's never cheated on any of her partners, let alone him. He doesn't deserve that, she thinks, closing her eyes as Carlos licks her neck.

"We can't do this to Charles," she says, panting. "To Rebecca."

"Rebecca will be gone by dawn if you ask," Carlos replies, gripping her chin, forcing her to meet his gaze.

"What about him?" she breathes, eyes sliding down his lips. "I can't do it, Carlos. I love him."

"Do you?" he asks, still holding her chin. "Say it one more time, and I swear I won't kiss you. I'll go back to my room and pretend nothing ever happened. We can even share breakfast in the morning, all four of us."

"I..." she stutters, closing her eyes.

"I'm about to do something incredibly reckless. I just need you to tell me if you're okay with it."

She doesn't reply. She just looks into his eyes, and crosses the distance between them. Their mouths collide violently, and both moan in unison, desperately clinging to each other. Her hands get lost in his hair, running along his scalp before pulling at the roots, eliciting a growl from him. He kisses her, biting her lips, encircling her face with his hands. His hands. His hands are everywhere. In her hair, on her back, on her butt. She feels like he's touching her everywhere at once, and his touch... His touch is burning, awakening things she's never felt. With anyone. She feels like molten lava. Like electricity.

He doesn't waste a second. He's too scared she'll snap out of it, change her mind. In one swift motion of the arm, he picks her up, sitting her down on the countertop, spreading her legs with his own body. His lips never leave her : he's exploring her neck, her mouth, her cheeks, her forehead, anything to get a taste of her.

He's afraid that he'll only have her that one time. That he'll have to live forever in the memory of that night. So he memorizes everything. The beauty mark at the corner of her mouth. The one on her neck. The fine white scar above her eyebrow. The tiny wrinkles at the corners of her eyes, the ones she earned through years of hearty laughter. He sniffs her, almost like an animal, absorbing her perfume until his head spins. He's so desperate, so pathetic for her, and he would probably be embarrassed by his own behavior if she weren't doing the same on her side. Her fingers trace every vein in his arms, every muscle in his back. She runs her tongue over his teeth, bites his lips, tugs at his hair as if she wanted to keep a lock of it in a necklace.

So far, they had just been kissing. Something she would have a very hard time justifying to Charles, but which could be ruled as a... distasteful accident. But as Carlos grabs her top, making her raise her arms in the air to take it off, immediately going for her breasts, she knows it's too late. That there will be no turning back. She's panting now, and over the shoulder of the Spaniard, as his mouth finds one of her nipples, she steals a glance at her boyfriend. Sound asleep. Unaware.

Carlos continues his descent, lower and lower, tracing a path with his tongue from her breasts to her belly button and down to her lower abdomen. Urgently, almost savagely, he tears off her floral skirt and her thong with both hands in one harsh movement, throwing them on the floor. He's been so impatient, so hurried all this time that when he finally kneels before her, her entire body tenses, bracing for impact.

But the impact doesn't happen.

Not yet. Carlos softly plants kisses on her pubic mound. On the insides of her thighs. On her knees. Anywhere but where she needs him the most.

"Please," she begs, breathless. "Please don't make me wait."

"I've been waiting for four years," he replies, looking at her through his long lashes, amber eyes diving into hers, "You'll survive a few more seconds."

When his mouth finally meets her core, she tilts her head back, moaning. He's slow. So deliberately slow. For years, she's driven him crazy, obsessing over every thought of hers. His revenge is childish. Immature. He's not proud of it, but he wants to drive her insane. To see her lose her mind because of him, just for once. She's having none of it, bucking her hips until his nose gets lost in her folds and finally, he snaps. Grabbing her by the ass, he brings her impossibly closer, lapping, nibbling, biting, even. Her back is pressed against the mirror, one leg over his shoulder, the other hanging down. She's closing her eyes, covering her mouth. Her moans. Praying that Charles hears nothing. Sees nothing.

With the tips of her toes, she finds his groin. Her touch is so soft. Barely there. His response is immediate, and she feels his growl reverberate through her entire core. Continuing his assault, his fingers join his mouth as he circles her clit before inserting one inside of her. Then two. He's watching her, somehow getting harder every time she moans, every time she tugs at his hair.

"I need you," she says between two breaths. "I don't know how much time we have, and I... I need to feel you inside."

He could have passed out right here, just hearing those words leave her lips. He rises, capturing her lips again, while she takes hold of his t-shirt, stripping it off. And then, they hug. Their skins are burning with desire, but there's nothing sexual here. For a few seconds, they stay like that, absolutely silent. Clinging to each other. The embrace tears them both apart. It's almost violent, suffocating, the way all those what's ifs, we could haves and others if only we'd knowns fill the room in those few seconds. The hug is heavy with things that'll never be. Things that'll never leave this embrace. This room. Feeling something wet reach his shoulder, Carlos pulls back. She's crying.

He seizes her lips again, yet this kiss feels so different from the previous ones. It's no longer a kiss of lust, of desire. It's a farewell kiss. He knows it. She knows it too.

Her hands crawl along his chest until they reach the button of his pants, which she pops open with a flick of expert fingers. He helps her remove the garment, which also falls to the ground, along with all the others. In this room, in this Cuban hotel, they are finally completely naked, pressed against each other. He kisses her again, intoxicated by her, her scent, her taste, while his hand finds his cock, stroking it gently. He's so lost in her, he almost doesn't notice her own hand chasing his, stroking him softly. And then, in a new kiss, he presses against her before entering her.

For a few moments, neither of them moves. He, concentrating like never before to not finish there and now. She, accepting the idea that another man than Charles has taken her, and that nothing will ever be the same again. Charles, she thinks, glancing towards the bedroom where her boyfriend has turned over, still asleep, but facing them. He's so close. So close to opening an eye and seeing his girlfriend and his teammate pressed against each other, forehead to forehead. Skin to skin. She's still looking at Charles when Carlos begins to move inside her, holding her tightly in his arms, pressing their chests together in an incredibly sensual motion.

"Tell me what you like. Tell me anything and I'll do it," he says, thrusting softly into her. "I want you to remember this. To remember me."

"I want you to make love to me as if I were yours."

It stings. It stings so fucking much, because the phrase reminds him that she doesn't belong to him. It stings because she's not entirely Charles' anymore, yet she'll never be entirely his either. From this night on, she'll be condemned to wander between them, to float between their desires, their loves. No matter how tightly he holds onto her, no matter how tight she feels around him, he'll never call her his. He obeys nevertheless, quickening his pace, capturing her lips.

His movements are precise, surgical. He feels her contracting around him, and the sensation drives him wild. Her hands are around his neck, seeking balance, support. His pace intensifies even more when he realizes something.

"Say my name," he asks, panting.

She knows why he asks for it, why he needs to hear it, so she doesn't question him.

"Carlos," she says, kissing him. "You're making me feel so good."

And it's true. In a way, it has nothing to do with his movements, with his skills as a lover. All those that he very surely possesses, but are only secondary tonight. It goes beyond that. It's about their connection. With each thrust, Carlos floods her with love, adoration, longing, with so many sensations that leave her feeling deliciously overwhelmed. He doesn't need to say it. Yet, in one thrust, one harsher than the others, he does.

"I love you", he breathes against her skin.

"I know," she says, holding his jaw with one hand, making him look at her, their lips brushing. "I've loved you all this time," she whispers back.

Her revelation must unlock something within him because suddenly, he lifts her, pressing her against the bathroom wall opposite from the sink, as she lets out a surprised cry, feeling him deeper than before. His thrusts resume, stronger, more aggressive. It's a good thing he's holding her as if his life depended on it, because everything is too much : the sensation of his body against hers, their feelings laid bare, the sounds he makes... Her head suddenly feels light, and she rests it in the crook of his neck as he continues to take her so deliciously.

She comes back to herself when she feels something stir in the pit of her stomach, something that takes her breath away.

"Carlos..." she starts.

"Tell me, baby," he replies, biting her ear. "Tell me everything."

"I'm feeling... I don't know... I'm feeling so, so good" she says, incoherent.

"Are you close?" he asks, still pouding into her.

"I've never felt anything like this," she says, panting. "Anything like you."

Then, everything explodes.

She can't hold back her scream, not caring about anything anymore, not even Charles, a few feet away. She's clinging to her lover, scratching his back. Trying to catch her breath. She clenches around him so tightly that he loses control, spilling into her in three thrusts, grunting.

"Give it to me, Carlos," she says. "I can take it. I can take you."

"Mi amor," he says, out of breath. "You're killing me," he adds, still thrusting into her, shooting some more ropes of cum into her cunt while groaning. "Te amo, te amo, te amo," he says, kissing her face.

The two bodies collapse on the floor, against the wall, nestled together in the intimacy of the small bathroom. She shivers, and he grabs a towel to wrap around her. Neither of them says a word. What is there to say, after all? Here, between these four tiled walls, they've already said everything. Shown everything. They've never been closer to each other. They've never been closer to anyone else. They'll probably never experience something like that ever again.

A few steps away from them, a sound of crumpled bedding alerts both of them.

"Babe?" comes Charles' sleepy voice, as their blood turn cold and she rises up impossibly fast to close the bathroom door, wobbling a bit, legs still weak after her orgasm.

"Go back to sleep, baby", she says loudly. "I'm just taking a shower."

There's no response, so after a few seconds, she opens the door again, seeing that Charles has fallen back asleep. Mouth slightly open.

"You have to go," she states, turning back to face Carlos, still sitting on the floor. Carlos stands up, and both of them dress in a heavy silence before quietly tip-toeing across the room. Once in the empty hallway, she gently closes the door of the room she shares with her boyfriend before letting out a breath. He knows what's coming. Something breaks in his eyes, and she feels her heart shatter.

"I meant everything," she says, head low. "I meant every word, every kiss. I'll forever regret the night we just shared, but not in the way you might think. I will regret for the rest of my life ever experimenting this happiness with you and having to let go of it. I love you, Carlos, like I've never loved anyone. That's why we shouldn't see each other again."

His dark eyes bore into hers, almost threateningly.

"Why?" he asks, raising his voice, and she winces, terrified that, on the other side of the door, Charles might wake up again. "Why stop yourself from being happy? Why give up on me?"

"I found a ring," she confesses, struggling to meet his gaze. "In his suitcase. He's going to propose to me, Carlos."

"If that's what it takes to have you forever, let me do it before him," he says, dropping to one knee as she looks away, tears welling up in her eyes. One more thing he'll have taken from Charles, she thinks. He'll forever be the first man to ever kneel before me. And he'll never even know this.

"Please, get up," she says, her voice trembling with a sob.

He does, and when he looks at her again, his eyes are filled with tears.

"Good night, Carlos," she says, taking a step back, holding the door knob to her room. She's gone in an instant, leaving him alone in the poorly lit hallway at half past three in the morning. Her scent all over his skin, her words all over his mind, her grip all over his heart.

[onlyangel4]

espresso (the aftermath). la knight. smau.

la knight x singer!reader

the meeting

synopsis: a favour for a friend turns into so much more

warnings: cursing.

faceclaim: dua lipa

y/ninsta posted a story

written: someone just sent me this from rehearsals why do i look like i'm gonna kill someone

reallaknight replied to your story: the prettiest death stare

y/ninsta: simp

reallaknight: is it lame if i admit i had to google what that meant

y/ninsta: showing your age gramps

y/ninsta

liked by rhearipleywwe, shawnmendes, thereallaknight and 1,302,123 others

y/ninsta: tour starts tonight, where will i be seeing you?

view all 102,485 comments

rhearipleywwe: i can't wait to see this tour

y/ninsta: i can't wait to see you

shawnmendes: i'll be at every show

y/ninsta: that is how being an opening act works

user1: i always forget that y/n is in the wwe world like why the hell is la knight in the likes

user2: this is going to be my first concert ever i can not wait

user3: the red hair is so hot

user4 posted a story tagging thereallaknight

written: guys my girlfriend is dragging me to the y/n concert tonight so i thought i'd hit the gym before the show tell me why la knight was there. dude's a legend

∘•···············•∘ʚ ♡ ɞ∘•················•∘

the first day of tour was always a stressful one, you had done a full dress rehearsal with all the dancers and pyro and you were already knackered. it was two hours before you had to go back out on the stage and the arena was already filling up with people ready to watch you perform.

you were currently in your dressing room lounging on the couch, recuperating some energy ready for the full show. when you heard the door open, sure it was your tour manager you didn't look up from your phone, "how long until i have to get my make up done?", you asked.

"i have no fucking idea", a familiar masculine voice spoke making your eyes instantly flick up from your phone and go towards the door. "oh my god", you spoke jumping up from your feet as shaun opened his arms for you instantly pulling you into a hug.

"surprise", he mused

"what are you doing here?"

"i could not miss the first show of your tour y/n", he spoke as he leant down to press a soft, loving kiss to your lips. one that you reciprocated instantly just melting against his lips. you slowly pulled away from him, "this is the best surprise ever"

you and shaun were not officially dating but you might as well have been. you facetimed for at least an hour every day and text whenever you couldn't call. in the past few months shaun had clouded your mind constantly. you were forever thinking about the man and he had even inspired a new song that you had written.

remembering the song you let out a small laugh, "what's so funny?", he questioned eyebrow quirking upwards.

you shook your head, "i kind of wrote a song about you and it is in the live set"

"you wrote a song about me?"

"i did, i can take it out of the set if you are more comfortable with that"

"no, i'm curious now i want to hear it", he spoke, "i can't believe my girl wrote a song about me"

"your girl?"

"oh yes y/n, you are my girl. you are it for me", he spoke before kissing you again and truly taking your breath away. because what he didn't know was that he was it for you as well.

∘•···············•∘ʚ ♡ ɞ∘•················•∘

y/nfan

liked by user5, user6, user7 and 14,293 others

y/nfan: guys i just got back from the first night of tour and omg. we got three stunning outfits and a brand new song.

y/n introduced the new song espresso in the best way possible: "guys i have a confession for all of you. i wrote this song the day after i met a man. i had never felt this way about anyone before and when my friends asked me about it i could barely talk about it so instead i wrote this song. i hope you love it, this is espresso"

so it is safe to assume that mother has a man and we are so happy for her.

view all 2,394 comments

user5: the song is so fucking good

user6: i wonder what kind of man has a chokehold on y/n like this

user7: i think that guy was at the concert because she kept on looking at the vip section when she was singing this song.

∘•···············•∘ʚ ♡ ɞ∘•················•∘

wwe posted a story tagging y/ninsta

written: y/n y/ln has graced us with her presence in the midst of her sold out us tour

thereallaknight posted a story

∘•···············•∘ʚ ♡ ɞ∘•················•∘

y/ninsta

liked by rhearipleywwe, thereallaknight, shawnmendes and 1,596,203 others

tagged: thereallaknight

y/ninsta: thank you guys for the best tour of my career. i thought i would give you guys a parting gift in the form of my new song espresso which is out at midnight. it is only fair to intoroduce you to the man that this song is written about. everyone meet shaun, the man that has kept me going on some of the toughest days.

view all 198,928 comments

thereallaknight: i love you but was that third picture really needed

y/ninsta: it really shows your personality

rhearipleywwe: so happy for you my love

y/ninsta: thank you love

user8: this is actually nuts

user9: my worlds have collided

[9amartt]

I tasted hope…

I tasted trust in Allah’s decree and i’ve never been more accepting of myself and everything that happens in my environment.

Alhamdulillah.

Being what they call ‘delusional’ is indeed the key to a happy life.

Be delusional about Allah’s decree, He split the sea for Musa, saved Yusuf from the belly of a whale, and split the moon for Muhammad. He created you! Isn’t that enough of a miracle?

Allah created you and He is the disposer of every single one of your affairs.

We will all die, wether we suffer or not, wether we sacrifice or not, wether we give up on our desires or not, wether we exhaust our weak bodies and minds or not, wether we spend this life wailing or laughing. It all ends in death. And one step in Jannah makes you forget years of pain, meanwhile one step in Jahannam makes you forget all the pleasures of this world.

So be akhira-minded. Hopeful in Allah’s decree.

Know that this dunyah is but an hour compared to the akhirah, it really is not worth despairing for.

Sit in loneliness with your lord often, think about your decisions, regret your past sins, trust that Allah is forgiving but not forgetful. Seek His forgiveness.

Before taking any steps, dispose all the burden of your worries on Him, make dua, cry between His hands, spend the night He has blessed you with in worship. Cry.

Really, cry. Let out all the pains you stored during the day.

Smile upon hardship. Say as they say: ‘Allah is my Lord and disposed of Affairs’, say it with your heart. And mean it.

Stand up now. Compete with your nafs and shaytan, be competitive and do not let them win over you. For the reward is worth the struggle and more.

Let the future for its creator, regret the past but don’t let your regret cause you to hate yourself or destroy your present, rather, let it be a lesson for you. Live your present.

And this is my heartfelt advice to you.

A dear friend of mine, who got out of the loop of depression and despair before us, sent me once a beautiful text she had written about hope In Allah. I told her jokingly: ‘it’s funny how this is coming from the most suicidal person I know’ she said: ‘Allah granted me tawfiq in becoming human again’

Human.

What makes us human is our relationship with Allah.

So come back to being Human. Come join the caravan of hopeful believers. Come join the saving ark. The ark of Allah.

Come join our ranks, let’s reinforce each other, this path is a lonely one, so let’s be each other’s assistance.

[deentalks]

There is a very beautiful story that I want to share with you today from Aisha R.A.

Aisha reported: When I saw the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, with a cheerful face, I said, “O Messenger of Allah, supplicate to Allah for me.” The Prophet said, “O Allah, forgive Aisha for her past and future sins, in secret and in public.” Aisha laughed so much that her head fell from his lap. The Prophet said to her, “Does my supplication make you happy?” Aisha said, “Why would your supplication not make me happy?” The Prophet said, “By Allah, it is my supplication for my nation in every prayer.”

Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Ibn Ḥibbān 3446

How beautiful is it that we had a Messenger ﷺ who cared so much about us that he made that dua for us every single salah, though he has never seen us and how beautiful is the reaction of Aisha R.A to be overjoyed and to smile and laugh with the Prophet ﷺ.

Don't forget to send your “صلوات” [salawaat] upon him, asking Allah to send His peace and blessings upon him.💌

[questionsonislam]

What do you advise for involuntary resentment against Allah?

That is a reality that many people can face.

- The real harmful misfortune is the misfortune that hits our belief, Islam and ethics. It is necessary to take refuge in Allah from such misfortunes and cry over them. (see Tirmidhi, Daawat: 79)

However, the misfortunes that are not related to the religion are not really misfortunes. Some of them are Allah’s warnings; some are atonement for sins; others like diseases are Allah’s compliment and cleanliness. (see Bukhari, Iman: 39, Muslim, Birr: 52)

Therefore, even if a misfortune is hard to bear, man should show patience by thinking about this aspect since its result will be good.

It is probable that the misfortunes we suffer are atonement for some mistakes we made in the past. Therefore, misfortunes might continue until the atonement is complete.

- Dua (supplication) is a deed of worship and it has a time like other deeds of worship. Problems and misfortunes are times of dua. It is necessary to spend those times by praying to Allah. We should know that the time for that dua continues until those misfortunes end.

- A person should resent himself and his own soul. It does not fit a slave to resent Allah – God forbid – and it will increase misfortunes.

After this short explanation, we think it will be useful to pay attention to the following points:

1) One should think as follows: “This is my qadar predestined for me by Allah. I should show consent to my qadar in order to pass this test. For, it is not possible for me to turn the corner by showing resentment and by opposing. In that case, I should save my hereafter by showing patience in the face of this test (which will probably end soon) of the world instead of risking both this world and the hereafter.” This is the requirement of common sense.

2) “There is never mercilessness and injustice in Allah’s qadar because Allah, who is the owner of qadar, is Rahman (All Merciful) and Rahim (All Compassionate), Adil (Just) and Hakim (perfectly Wise). He may have wanted to forgive my sins and to elevate my rank in Paradise with this test. Then, I should show consent to qadar in order to get rid of grief and religious loss.”

3) We are often asked “to rely on Allah”in the Quran. Tawakkul means to rely on Allah, to surrender to Him and to believe that He is a deity that does good things in all aspects:

“Belief necessitates affirmation of Divine unity, affirmation of Divine unity necessitates submission to God, submission to God necessitates reliance on God, and reliance on God necessarily leads to happiness in this world and the next.”(Nursi, Sözler, p. 314)

The principle “He who believes in qadar gets rid of grief” is an expression of this fact.

4) As it is indicated above, we should not forget that to disobey Allah due to the current problems and to resent Him will not eliminate that problem; on the contrary, it will increase it. The following statement of Badiuzzaman Said Nursi who indicates this fact, is remarkable:

“Whoever criticizes divine determining is striking his head against an anvil on which it will break, and whoever objects to divine mercy will himself be deprived of it.”

5) To have the hope of getting rid of problems and to think that Allah will show a way of salvation is a way of thinking that relieves man and makes him gain the consent of Allah.

“Ask from Allah. Allah likes those who ask from Him. The most virtuous deed of worship is to expect the problems to be over (by thinking that they will end and by expecting from Allah).” (Tirmidhi, Daawat, 115)

We should not ignore the advice in the hadith above.

6) To despair of Allah’s infinite mercy – God forbid – means to enter a very dangerous path. For, Satan causes man to have bad thoughts about Allah and act disrespectfully from this window of despair. A person who thinks Allah will not show him mercy any more is ready to fall into the traps of Satan. It should not be forgotten that despair is a thought that does not comply with belief. This fact is underlined in the verse below.

“…Never give up hope of Allah´s Soothing Mercy: truly no one despairs of Allah´s Soothing Mercy, except those who have no faith.” (Yusuf, 12/87)

7) Enthusiasm is the opposite of despair. What disrupts enthusiasm is despair.  Badiuzzaman Said Nursi states the following regarding the issue in summary:

“Life is an activity and movement. Enthusiasm is its mount. When our effort enters the square of life struggle by riding enthusiasm, it encounters despair/hopelessness, which is a severe enemy, first. It demoralizes enthusiasm. Use the sword of لاَ تَقْنَطُوا [That is, Allah’s command meaning “Despair not of the Mercy of Allah” (az-Zumar, 39/53)] against the enemy (and kill the enemy called despair)."

8) Man has no right to complain about the problems that he encounters due to the following reasons:  

a) Human body is a model on which Allah’s names and attributes become manifest. The meanings and decrees of Allah’s names and attributes are different from one another; therefore, their manifestations will become different on human body. For instance,Allah’s name Shafi makes an illness necessary to show itself on human body and man becomes ill; cure is asked from the name Shafi (Healer). The name Mumit (Taker of Life) makes it necessary for the body to die when its time is due and kills it. The name Musawwir (Shaper of Beauty) wants to be seen with the reality of description on human body and gives a shape to all organs.  

When those names become manifest, the human body is exposed to activities and changes all the time. That is, it undergoes some hardships and trouble. However, Allah has already paid man for those hardships by giving him boons like existence, life, spirit, humanity, Islam and belief. That is, man has no right to complain since he has received the pay for working as a kind of model. It is like the case of a tailor who hires a model to fit the clothes he makes and gives the model some trouble by making him/her sit, stand, bend, etc. The model has no right to say to the tailor, “Why do you give trouble by making me sit and stand?” For, the duty of the model is to act according to the orders of the tailor.

b) There are many talents and abilities given to man in life; they are like seeds that have not developed and grown. A seed undergoes several stages to become a tree; it is placed in the ground, watered, pruned, etc. If it does not undergo those stages, it cannot develop, grow and be a tree. Similarly, if man is not exposed to the difficulties and hardships of life, he cannot develop his abilities in life. If man does not undergo any difficulties and suffer any illnesses and if he leads a comfortable and stable life, he cannot be a mature person. Let us clarify the issue with an example:

Think of a rough stone. If this stone is given to a master, he will start to sculpt it with his hard and cutting tools. The stone will be broken during sculpting. It would feel sad and cry if it were conscious. However, after certain stages and processes, that rough stone becomes a wonderful and perfect work of art. If that stone had not been sculped by that master and had not undergone those stages and processes, it would have remained as a rough and valueless stone. The rough stone’s being transformed into a priceless work of art is thanks to those hardships and stages of being sculpted.   

Man is like that rough stone. He reaches a perfect rank and the degree of the vicegerent of the earth in his lifespan thanks to the hard training and education given by Allah. That is, the way for man to be perfect is through the illnesses, misfortunes, grief, actions and tests existing in life. If man does not pass through those tests and processes, his life will be at a rough and simple level as if it has not been lived, which virtually means non-existent.  

c) Man was sent to this world to worship, not to rest and to pursue pleasures. There are two kinds of worship. One of them is positive and the other is negative. Positive worship is the commands and prohibitions informed by Allah.

Negative worship is the misfortunes and problems that man encounters in life. If man shows patience in the face of those misfortunes and problems, and relies on Allah, he will transform his life into a source of thawab and worship. Since the purpose of man’s coming to this world is worship, those misfortunes and problems become opportunities for him and strengthen his purpose of coming to this world. Since hypocrisy and show off do not penetrate into negative worship, it becomes sincere worship. However, positive worship always has the risk of hypocrisy and show off. Those misfortunes are a means of maturation and source of thawab for man.

[lilacmuse]

On Spirituality and Storms

At the beginning of January, i went out one night to meet up with my friends for dinner, including my dear pal R, who was in town from Toronto. We joked that she had brought the weather with her- it was one of the coldest nights of the year, extremely windy, and the roads were due to ice over, so i was shivering slightly in my coat as i drove across town. Suddenly, on the side of a very busy road, i saw a man riding a bicycle along the adjoining bridge, with a little boy seated in front. The sight of the man and his child outdoors in such icy weather made my heart ache, and i looked for a place to stop so i could ask if they needed a ride. But the flow of traffic was too fast, and there was no where i could safely pull over in time, so i had no choice but to drive on.

As i drove past, i watched them in the rearview mirror, and my heart broke as it struck me that no father would ever be out with his child in such painful weather unless he had no choice. I willed myself to forget, and tried to distract myself by picking up some beautiful bouquets of flowers to surprise my friends. We ended up having an amazing time catching up at our favorite Thai spot- the night was full of laughter, reminiscing, and amusement. But from time to time, my thoughts drifted back to the stranger on the bike, and i wondered whether he and his son had found a warm place to rest. For the next few days, i was haunted by the thought of what might've happened to them, and vowed that if an opportunity like that ever came again, i'd find a way to help.

That week, my community went on its first ever umrah trip. I was dying to join them and had been dreaming about it for a long time, but after an intense bout of long COVID last year, my body had become extremely weak- i found myself getting sick at the drop of a hat, and realized as the time approached that i was still too weak to be able to perform the rites properly. I wanted my first experience of umrah to be perfect, so i resolved that i'd go in the future.

Even so- as i imagined everyone i cared about gathering together in a place that i loved so much- i felt a deep longing and wished i could see Masjid e Nabawi, and drink in the beauty of the Prophet's city with them. I hung out with my friends nearly every night that week and had a blast, but a small part of my heart was often somewhere else. One day, after a particularly fun night out with my friends, i got home at around 3 AM and felt a random yearning to pray Salat al Layl. As i sat down to pray, i suddenly felt extremely tired, and wished i had a tasbih counter to make it easier, but realized i had no idea where mine was. I decided to make dua, and my main dua was slightly childish: before the umrah group had left, i had been too shy to message anyone to ask them to pray for me. So i asked God to put it in their hearts to miss me so much, they would remember me in their duas automatically, and it would almost be like i was there with them.

The next day, one of my mom's friends randomly brought us some umrah gifts from a recent trip she'd taken. When i opened the bag, it contained a tasbih counter and a glittering pin of Masjid e Nabawi. I smiled at God's mysterious ways, thanked Him, and carried on. The next weekend, i went out to a gathering and ran into various people who had just returned from the community umrah trip. Every single one of them- even people i'm not particularly close to or don't talk to very often- told me that they had missed me and had thought about me often.

The night before i left for Arizona, i wanted to buy some last-minute gifts for my nieces, but there was an absolutely hellish thunderstorm brewing outside. As i drove down the street to the commercial shopping area near my house, i could hardly see the road in front of me, even with my highbeams on. As i arrived at the first store, the rain had fallen so torrentially, the sidewalks were flooding, and my shoes filled with water. As all loving aunts do, i decided to brave the dreadful feeling of soggy shoes and commenced my mission to find the perfect gifts. I couldn't find any good toys, but i found the most beautiful little dress for F- it was a maroon velvet with a net bottom, inlaid with an elegant gold design; absolutely exquisite. I searched high and low to find a similar dress for baby Z, but i couldn't find one, so i briefly pondered whether i should drive further out and check another store. My logical mind said no- the storm was far too dangerous to keep going- but my intuition told me it was important for me to go, so off i went.

The next store's sidewalk was even more flooded than the previous, and the rain continued to fall in torrential sheets. As i entered the store, it was nearly empty- evidently, most people had had the sense to stay home. I wandered around and realized, after much searching, that i couldn't find the aisle for 12 month old dresses, and the store was going to close soon. I walked around in circles, searching every aisle, but it was nowhere to be found, and i realized i needed to give up and drive home at last. As i was walking around a final time, i paused as i heard a young man's voice call out to me. "Excuse me, Maam?"

As i looked up, he timidly asked me if i happened to have any spare cash, because he had walked to the store from his apartment, but now had no way of getting home safely in light of the storm. He explained that he was out of money and needed just a little to pay for a taxi. I apologized and told him that i didn't have cash on me, but said i'd be happy to zelle him whatever he needed, or to call him an uber- i just didn't have the app myself, or the storage space to download it. He told me he didn't have zelle or uber, so he was going to look up a taxi service online, but didn't have the cash to pay. As we spoke, i realized the store was about to close, time was running out, and there didn't seem to be anyone else around who could help him. I looked into the man's eyes for a moment, ascertained that he wouldn't harm me, and asked him how far his apartment was. He said it was just a few roads down, so i nodded and asked if he'd like me to give him a ride. He was stunned by the offer, but he eagerly said yes, looking at me with a mix of confusion and awe. He asked me if i was sure, and i smiled and assured him it would be no problem. There was a quiet, rational part of me that wondered if i should text a friend to give them a heads up just in case he ended up being dangerous, but intuitively, i knew i was safe- there was something unusually pure about him that made me certain God wanted me to help him.

As we walked out of the store, the guy thanked me profusely and told me that most people wouldn't have offered him a ride. I told him that when people ask us for help, it's a blessing from God for us, not a burden. As we started the car ride to his place, we got into a beautiful, meandering conversation about God and religion. He told me he had grown up Catholic and still believed in the existence of one true God, but said he had left the religion because the iconography made him uncomfortable. I smiled as i realized this was probably where his energy of purity was coming from- whether he was consciously aware of it or not, something about his fitrah was still pure enough to yearn for Tawhid and feel uneasy about shirk. He asked me if i went to church, and i gently explained that i'm a Muslim and attend a mosque. I'm not into dawah, but it's my hope that if i'm the only Muslim someone ever meets, they leave thinking highly of the One i worship.

As we drove along, he thanked me again, and repeated again that most people wouldn't have helped him. I told him that there's so much pain and destruction in the world, our best hope of fighting back is to find moments where we can stop and be good to each other, cutting through the world's darkness with small acts of compassion and love. I could tell that he understood exactly what i meant, and that he felt the same way.

As we neared his apartment, a bright beam of lightning flashed through the sky, and he gently confessed that this was the real reason he hadn't been able to walk home: he had a phobia of lightning. I know how hard it can be for men to be vulnerable about their fears, so i gently smiled and assured him that he shouldn't be embarrassed- i have plenty of fears of my own, and lightning can do quite a bit of damage. He then told me that despite his youthful appearance, he was 30 and had a young daughter, and he was trying his best to get on his feet and provide a good life for her. He then vented about how lonely he sometimes feels, and i could tell this was something he probably didn't talk about often. I was tempted to assure him that he wasn't alone in feeling that way, but i remembered that people often feel lonely because they feel like nobody truly hears or understands them, so i quietly listened instead. I then suggested that he try getting a pet to keep him company, and the mood lightened as we talked about our love for animals.

After i dropped him off, it struck me on the way home that this might have been the do-over i'd asked God for weeks ago. I think He knew how much it bothered me to drive away the first time, so He'd blessed me with an unexpected chance to fulfill my heart's yearning to help. It then struck me that when we think of rizq, we often think of it as something monetary or tangible we gain- but the opportunity to do something good for others can be its own beautiful form of rizq.

If you're reading this, i love you; may God grant you every khayr your heart desires in this life and the next. ❤️

x r

[jobazzle]

Song Sorters Masterlist Vol. 2

Had to make a second masterlist because of the limit on how many links one tumblr post can have!! if an artist you're looking for isn't here, be sure to check the original masterlist i made!! it's the pinned post on my tumblr but i'll add a link to it here as well.

these aren't able to be viewed easily on the tumblr app so i made this list so there's an easier way to find them when using the app!!! (and just a psa about the song sorters: if you pick ‘i like both’ or ‘no opinion’ the algorithm will make it so there are ties in your ranking and the numbering will “look weird”…as in if you have three songs tied for 1st place the numbering will then go to 4th instead of ranking a 2nd and 3rd spot and so forth. i see ppl sharing the song sorters on twitter and being confused by the numbering in their results lol so that is why!) If you're having trouble with the hyperlinks in this list, just copy the link and paste it into whatever web browser you have on your phone.

Billie Eilish WHEN WE ALL FALL ASLEEP, WHERE DO WE GO? Happier Than Ever HIT ME HARD AND SOFT Every Billie Eilish Song

Adele Every Adele Song

Ed Sheeran Every Ed Sheeran Song

Dua Lipa Every Dua Lipa Song

Charli XCX Every Charli XCX Song

Selena Gomez Every Selena Gomez Song

Madison Beer Life Support Silence Between Songs Every Madison Beer Song

Troye Sivan Something To Give Each Other Every Troye Sivan Song

Tate McRae THINK LATER So Close To What Every Tate McRae Song

Halsey Badlands hopeless fountain kingdom Manic If I Can't Have Love, I Want Power The Great Impersonator Every Halsey Song

ROLE MODEL Every ROLE MODEL Song

Shawn Mendes Shawn

Ashe Every Ashe Song

Carly Rae Jepsen Every Carly Rae Jepsen Song

Dominic Fike Every Dominic Fike Song

Demi Lovato Don't Forget Here We Go Again Unbroken Demi Confident Tell Me You Love Me Dancing With The Devil...The Art Of Starting Over HOLY FVCK

Mitski Be the Cowboy Laurel Hell The Land Is Inhospitable and So Are We Every Mitski Song

Chase Atlantic Every Chase Atlantic Song

Miley Cyrus Breakout Can't Be Tamed Bangerz Miley Cyrus & Her Dead Petz Younger Now Plastic Hearts Endless Summer Vacation

Del Water Gap Every Del Water Gap Song

Bad Bunny Un Verano Sin Ti Every Bad Bunny Song

Maggie Lindemann PARANOIA SUCKERPUNCH Every Maggie Lindemann Song

Take That Every Take That Song

McFly Every McFly Song

Mori Calliope Every Mori Calliope Song

Gorillaz Every Gorillaz Song

Itzy Every Itzy Song

Steve Lacy Gemini Rights

Avril Lavigne Let Go Under My Skin The Best Damn Thing Goodbye Lullaby Avril Lavigne Head Above Water Love Sux Every Avril Lavigne Song

Tyler, The Creator Flower Boy Every Tyler, The Creator Song

Vanessa Hudgens Every Vanessa Hudgens Song

Lea Michele Every Lea Michele Song

Destroy Boys Every Destroy Boys Song

Keane Every Keane Song

Benjamin Ingrosso Every Benjamin Ingrosso Song

Musicals Natasha, Pierre & The Great Comet of 1812

[faithful-diaries]

Assalamu alaykoum sister. I hope you are good alhamdulilah, i am a 20 year old sister. I did put my hijab in 2019 when iwas 15, i had a bad past but 2 years ago i came to the right path alhamdulilah. I have t4ouble overthinking about my past, if maybe some pics ( very sinful pics) got leaked or something. I repented to Allah subhana wa taala so much, i started praying again and reminding myself with my akhirah. But i overthink so so much that maybe something got leaked and 4 years later i may havent found and iam living here peacefully while i may have been gaining sins and maybe my parents find out. 2 years ago when i started my deen journey again i didnt even remember. This days i have cried a lot and i do remember quite a few details about what happened when i sinned and i dont quite remember if that person had screnshoted those pics or anything. I am so scared that my sins may come to light or its just my mind giving me a hard time while overthinking. I am fully making duaa and crying in my prayer mat and i wanna calm myself but i dont know how. Any tips or duaa so i can have a relief and ask Allah for forgiveness and to cover my sins if they have been leaked online? Howncan i improve? Jazakallahu khair ukhti.

Walaikum assalam my dear sister 🤍

Jazakallahu khair, I am good

I will also turn 20 this year🤝

Reading this, I remembered how my best friend went through this same thing earlier this year and how she used to be so low about it, her mind was occupied by the whisperings of shaytaan like yours is now,

But wallahi trust me when I tell you this that a person who returns to Allah with sins that reach up the sky but with a sincere heart, Allah swt accepts them and turns their sins into good deeds, just imagine Subhan Allah

You needs to know that ALLAH never abandons His friends nor does He ever let them get crushed by this duniya.

Just never stop asking for his forgiveness, yk there’s this word in arabic “Raja’a” that in English is translated as "hope" but the meaning of this word is - "to return" so being hopeful is to return to your Rabb. No matter what happens in this Duniya just make sure that your mind stays firm on the struggle for jannah and to never despair of His mercy.

We can’t forget what happened in the past but we can use it as a motivation to do better for our akhirah.

But we can’t waste our time overthinking about something that we don’t have any control over right, imagine this thing you are overthinking so much about, if you have truly repented from this, know that Allah swt has changed it into a good deed. How reassuring is that!

So don’t fall in the traps of shaytaan, He very well knows a person’s weaknesses and he triggers those emotions that can make a person fall into hopelessness and despair.

[39:56]

Here are some beautiful and beneficial duas that will help you in sha Allah,

This is called Sayyid al-Istighfar (the best way to ask for Allah’s forgiveness)

I will also recommend you to watch this series called “change of hearts” by Ali hammuda and especially this episode where he talks about Tawakkul (Reliance upon Allah swt)

May this finds you in the best of health and Imaan🫶🏻🤍

Fi Amanillah ukhti🌷

[mesillusionssousecstasy]

TSITP Overall : Crazy Theory

I have this crazy theory that we could maybe have a different ending than the books, because after watching the end of season two, too many things are different.

So why do I think that Jelly are endgame.

First, in the book, Belly and Jeremiah never kissed before Belly got together with Conrad. Jeremiah at this time was never an option to her. But in the show, he was. Belly kissed a few times Jeremiah which, as we learned, is in love with her.

Then, Belly got with Conrad and lose her virginity to him. In the books, we don't know to whom she lost it, but maybe it's to Conrad also. So that's make sense that Belly does it with Conrad, because if that's the last time she's with Conrad, it would make total sense to match the book version. The last thing before jumping to something new.

In episode 7, Belly kissed Jeremiah while wearing Conrad's Brown sweat. I see it like an anchor that's tying Belly to her past while her future is ahead. The same can be said to the night at the Motel. She is reliving her past while her future is ahead. But in the morning, she has already chosen, just by putting the Finch sweat. Then, she has her morning routine, because she knows that she will kiss Jeremiah.

Don't forget, Belly is thinking this "He gives and then he takes away. So I release you, Conrad Fisher. I evict you from my heart."

Even Conrad knows when he saw her with the sweat.

Finally, at the very end, in "love Again" by Dua Lipa, the song is about a girl who has a broken heart and thought she could never loved again. But then, someone new came and "you got me in love again".

I think it's in that moment when Belly sees Jeremiah in the crowd, she understand that she has this amazing future ahead of her with someone who truly loves her and that she may love him back too. She is on the very edge, because we know that she has already strong feeling toward him.

Let's not forget that Belly saw "Sabrina" during season one.

Regarding the letters Belly watched them get mixed up, so she is a witness to this.

As for the Belly and Conrad version of the book I definitively think they are replaced by Taylor and Steven's relationship. The actrice playing Taylor said that Steven is to Taylor what Conrad is to Belly.

But I think the most important thing in this series is that Belly's happiness should prevail before anything else.

So that's my crazy theory.

ps: the only way of ruining Jeremiah's character is to make him super jealous and all.

[xmysweetcreaturex]

thank you so much for the tag @polifandom ✨

last song: volez-vous from the Mamma Mia Soundtrack (originally performed by Abba)

favorite color: black 🖤

currently watching: Killing Eve (i’ve only seen the first 3 eps but it’s gay and horny so i love it already)

currently reading : Six Bad Things (the second book in the Caught Stealing series)

last movie: The Substance 💉

sweet/spicy/savory: sweet AND spicy

relationship status: my bed and i have been in a very committed relationship for the past 22 years 💞

current obsession: my joint writing project w/ madu, resurrecting my love for dua lipa, and GOSSIP !

last thing you googled: how to sign up for a driving safety course so i don’t get points on my license for speeding 🫠

can’t forget to tag my sweets @emisuebutts @skyyguy @thegrandpineapple @defnotanarc @antiquitea also whoever else may see this and want to join in 🫶🏽

[writcrwithin]

I have said what I had to say.

When I truly think about it, how can he tell me he love me but then easily have a baby with someone else?

Yes, Islam has its rules. Islam gives us our rights, but where was it in his mind to stop and think for a moment and tell her about me before making that decision?

I can never forgive him for moving on so fast. I can never forgive myself for moulding a man for another woman either. I can never forgive myself for believing into his lies and his deception.

I can never forgive him for hurting my son who will have to go through life without him. What would I tell him? That he was selfish? That the man he wanted to have as a father was a coward? He was weak? Do I tell him anything or do we just forget and live life as if this chapter for the past 7 years of my life hasn't happened?

Where was his conscience when making decisions that would affect me? Where was his heart when he knew he still loved me, yet he gave into another woman so so fast. Where?

My prayer still stands firm. Allah SWT is just and while I have committed my sins, I will forever repent them. I just pray Allah SWT hears my dua too.

I am still so broken hearted. I feel that there is no way out of this emotion. Pray for me if you come across this post. Pray that I am able to move on. That I am able to forgive and forget and just move on. Please, please pray for me if you come across this post without any judgements.

[writerfarzanatutul]

Ruksana's Dua

She lowered herself into sujood, her forehead pressing against the cold floor as she whispered, "Subhana Rabbial A'la... Subhana Rabbial A'la... Subhana Rabbial A'la..."

Suddenly, tears—warm and relentless—began streaming from her eyes, falling silently onto the cold surface beneath her. Her forehead stayed rooted to the ground, her trembling hands anchored on the floor, as the storm inside her spilled out through her eyes.

"Oh Allah, help me," she whispered, her voice barely audible, quivering under the weight of her sorrow. "This marriage... I must fulfill it, no matter the cost. But I feel so powerless... so very powerless. How do I accept this man when I see him as my transgressor? How can I make him my own? How can I consider him my husband, Ya Allah? Guide my heart... plant love for him within me. I am helpless... I don't have the strength to love him, but You are Al-Wadud, the One who places love in hearts. You can make me love him, Ya Allah. Please cleanse my heart of Abdurrahman, for he is no longer halal for me. Let my heart open for the one You have now made my lawful partner. Let me forget the past, forgive him, and accept him as my husband. Let me be the coolness of his eyes, and fill my heart with respect and love for him too."

( Assalamualaikum everyone, I write Islamic stories that is based on love , faith, redemption, second chances and halal romance. This is a snippet from my story You are Mine .All my stories are free . If you are interested in reading, you can check it in Inkitt or Wattpad. My profile name: Farzana Tutul )

[onedioisleonardo]

"Perhaps you are wishing for just a drop, and Allah wishes to provide you with rain, And you want to wish for a star, but Allah wills to give you the moon."

We hear it so often- that if Allah is making us wait then it is because He plans on giving us something more beautiful than we can expect.

Like patiently waiting on a flower, wondering why the wait has become long & complicated- enduring countless storms & holding onto moments of shade, only to realize all those years Allah was preparing for you not just a flower, but a garden.

That time wasn't just a clock that was ticking, but time was Allah arranging every second, every minute, every affair & every moment in your life so carefully.

We focus so much on time, waiting all day for the next, all week for friday, all summer for winter, all winter for summer, all year for the next, not realizing that time itself waits on Allah.

I know it can be so difficult. The not knowing of how, when, where or why.

That is the beauty of sabr though. The act of waiting becomes an act of ibadah as we practice sabr & pour our hearts into du`as for the things that we truly want in life, constantly turning to Allah for guidance & results after putting our own efforts in.

After patience, good news awaits you. Allah is the one who can turn everything upside down and arranges the events of the entire universe and He can rearrange yours because of your du`as.

It is only human to feel the seeds of doubt deep in our hearts. All the what if`s, the lost sleep, all the tears. If what we wish for will be, whether we even deserve the things we even ask for, what life has to offer for us- and whether our dua`s will be accepted. All these concerns,

But how can you not console yourself with Allah`s promise, knowing you are currently living out one of the dua`s you made & that His promise is always true? That the time did pass & Allah did not fail us?

Allah does not sustain your sadness, rather He wishes only for you to turn Him, to be close to Him. Every time you talk to him & ask from him, nurturing the moment to meet the ease you make du'a for with tears in your tired, needy eyes..

He is there- with all His might & all His strength- for no reason other than to nurture, care & provide for you. To hear from you, and to give to you.

We constantly doubt ourselves & become worried because we forget that nothing in this world can be for you & no one in this world can take from you except that Allah is in charge of everything and He knows all that we do not. Allah, with all His kindness, watchfullness and mercy, knows exactly what we face.

He knows our fears, worries, hesitations, and He gives us the blessing of hope so that we can embrace another day and another... until the day we walk straight into the hereafter.

It is from His mercy that we wait in this life, so that when the day comes, because of all our sabr & tawakkul, we can run straight past the gates of jannah in the blink of an eye.

When Allah sees you struggling & striving for his sake, when you commit a sin & feel unworthy & ashamed, when you smile in the days & cry in the nights, when Allah sees you falling & getting back up, hoping that better awaits you,

He smiles at you, knowing that YOU wait for the better. That you still assume good of Him. That you still trust in Him, that you still have tawakkul.

You have to do your part though, you have to have tawakkul while you wait. Allah provides for the birds in the manner that they leave in the morning hungry & return in the evening with stomachs full. Rasulullah ﷺ said that Allah will provide in this same manner for the one who has tawakkul in Him.

Meaning you do your part & tie your camel, putting in the best effort you can. But you do not rely on your own intelligence, you do not rely on your own hands, you do not rely on people or depend on anything & anyone in this world, but you depend on Allah. That is the meaning of tawakkul & that is the art of waiting.

Live in the present & don't stress to much about time, nor worry about time, when time itself relies on Allah. In the same way that He is the one who guides the birds to leave their homes when the sun comes up & provides their sustenance, then turns morning into night for them so that they may rest, Allah turns morning into nights & nights into morning for you too.

Not just in this life, but life itself is like a day. Where when we enter Jannah it will feel only like a fragment in time.

So do your best in this life & then rest. Don't worry, don't rush- you are & always will be under care of the One who has no beginning & has no end.

(~sabr.full)

[perfectisgeorgette]

Disco Margaritas -playlist

Georgette to Mim @madmagicmim

Disco margs a playlist for: that feeling when you take a sip of your first drink out with your closest friends, a cracking of a seltzer at a family gathering during the summer, dancing in the kitchen with your closest girls to an ABBA song on a Saturday night. A lifestyle, a moment, making memories, and shutting down all the silly bullshit.

🪩 Houdini (Adam Port mix) - Dua Lipa, Adam Port

Maybe you could be the one to make me stay. There isnt a single Dua Lipa song that isn’t an absolute bop. Even if they don’t admit it every girl dreams about a guy who can finally measure up and make her stay. No houdini act over here - not this time.

🪩 Stay High - Diplo, HUGEL, Julia Church

Staying in my play pretend; where the fun ain’t got no end. A remix of a Tove Lo song from 2014. If there is one thing that keeps past relationships no matter the kind at bay it’s a good song. No need to get to a higher level when this song is just as good.

🪩 Milkshake 20 (Alex Wann Remix) - Kelis, Alex Wann

Damn right it’s better than yours. The old banger from elementary school is still a hit. With a cool dance vibe it’s nothing like owning your own self confidence about what you’ve got! Can’t sing it without feeling yourself a bit. Confidence baby!

🪩 Teenage Crime - Adrian Lux

We don’t sleep when the sun goes down. This song just pulls you right to a bestie moment. Let it be when you were young and having a sleep over doing prank calls or staying out late causing a ruckus. It’s moments like that that tie to songs forever.

🪩 Like That - Seamus D

Argue, you yell, but you take me back. This song puts you back with your first love. The fairy tale of it all. Even if you don’t want to be whisked away there always that feeling of addiction when you’re with the one you first loved. You may not need to wish to take them back or to even find them but it isnt illegal to think about it.

🪩 Heaven Takes You Home (ft Connie Constance) - Swedish House Mafia, Connie Constance

Show 'em how the struggle made magic. There is something about a nice hug and that is what this song brings. There are many interpretations of the lyrics but when you get to the bottom of it its about people parting ways in some sense. Weather its good or bad it still feels like a good hug when you are going through a hard time.

🪩 Doses & Mimosas (Vintage Culture & Zerky remix) - Vintage Culture, Zerky, Cherub

Cryin' when you're by yourself 'Cause of what they think. Everyone loves a girl that is not afraid of consequences. Every girl has had the issues with feeling left out, bothered, or down - this songs is a big f you to them. Seeking the fun and high of a party is a a fictional ideal way to forget all about it...while dancing and vibing.

🪩 Love Runs Deep - Autograf, Tiina

You've been walking under dark clouds. Everyone has struggles and problems no matter who they are. This dong takes you from thinking about those problems and realizing that through love no matter the kind you can get through them. Just a feel good song to raise your mood no matter what the situation.

🪩 Waterloo - ABBA

The history book on the shelf is always repeating itself. This song may have its hidden meaning that everyone deciphers differently but that doesn't matter. This song alone can bring any mood from sour to sweet. Dancing and singing to this song in the shower, your car, the kitchen or with friends. Top 5 feel good songs.

🪩 Don’t Leave (Throttle remix) - Snakeships, MØ, Throttle

I'm a girl with a temper and heat. Own your true self. This song takes every quality of a fiery woman and puts it on the table. There is no reason to change who you are for someone and you are capable of being there for anyone no matter how hot you may be.

🪩 Sexual (Oliver Nelson Remix) - NEIKED, Dyo, Oliver Nelson

Now I caught you, I won't let you go. There is hidden meanings of this song but those are up to the listener to interpret. The song is just feel good and it is impossible to not vibe to. The song has been taken down a lot from streaming services but it definitely one to save.

Disco Margaritas is for the vibes darling. Love, Georgette