#dua for baby to sleep longer

[heavyhitterheaux]

Garden

Based off the song by Dua Lipa

Synopsis: You want to spend more time with your boyfriend, but find that the two of you are drifting apart. It isn't until he almost loses you that he realizes what he has in front of him

Pairing: Jack Harlow x Reader

Requested by: an amazing anon 💕

Jack Harlow Masterlist

Please Do Not Repost My Content Anywhere

It was dark outside when you had woken up from being startled because of Jack moving around your shared bedroom. You had been waiting for him to come home since he had been gone all day, but your eyes began to get heavy around midnight and you knew that you wouldn’t be able to last much longer. You grabbed your phone from the nightstand to look to see what the time it was and it was 3:36 in the morning when Jack had promised you that he would be home no later than 8 PM.

"Babe? Are you just now getting home?" You softly asked as he began to take off his sweatshirt.

"Shit. I didn't mean to wake you up. Things just ran over a little bit." He threw it across the room and it landed in the hamper perfectly while you sat up to plug your phone into the charger.

"A little bit? You were supposed to be back at 8 PM LAST NIGHT. It is now 3 in the morning. Did you eat anything? How much water did you drink today? I don't want you getting headaches like you were before."

"Y/N, I'm not doing this with you right now. I need to go to sleep because I need to leave by 9."

"I… I'm just worried about you. I need you to slow down and take a break once in a while. I planned for us to do something around 5. Do you think you'll be done by then?" You asked as Jack has gotten in the bed to lay down next to you and pulled the comforter over himself.

"What are you worried about me for? I'm fine. Don't I need to keep a roof over your head? So let me do what I need to do since you're always asking me for expensive ass shit."

"Really? I'm worried because my boyfriend is a workaholic and a people pleaser that doesn't know how to say no sometimes and his girlfriend would like to spend more time with him."

"When things slow down, I will. I promise, but I can't let up now."

"What about meeting up with me at 5? Just us for a date."

"I'm not about to tell you yes and then I get busy and not show up because that will cause a whole new issue."

"I just don't get why you’re being so defensive about me wanting to spend time with you. Don't blame it on you being busy because when your second album came out you still made me a priority despite everything going on around you."

All Jack did was sigh and roll his eyes which you quickly caught on to.

"Y/N, I'm only going to get five hours of sleep and arguing with you is cutting into that. Can we just let it go and continue it later?"

"Seriously? And when is later because I never see you."

All Jack did was throw the comforter away from him and hop up out of the bed.

"Baby, where are you going?"

"To the guest room to get some fucking sleep since I'm clearly not going to get it in here."

"I… come on don't be like that. I just…."

"I'll probably be gone by the time you wake up." Jack muttered before making his way out of the bedroom and leaving you upset. 

You waited about an hour or so before going to peek in on Jack who was sound asleep. All you wanted at the very least was for him to sleep next to you and at least hold you, but it seems like nowadays that was asking for too much. You softly walked to the left side of the bed and crawled in next to him and he was startled by the movement.

"Y/N..." Jack started to say but you immediately cut him off.

"Can you at least hold me so I'll sleep better. I didn't come in here to argue. I just want you close to me." 

All he did was raise his left arm and you cuddled closer to him as he wrapped it around you and it almost seemed forced like he didn't want to do it. 

"I love you, Jack." You whispered to him, but all you got were his soft snores in response letting you know that he had fallen back asleep.

You felt your eyes watering and the tears slowly ran down your face and you did your best to even your breathing so that you wouldn't wake him up again.

You just simply wanted your loving boyfriend back who would always spend time with you and never made you feel as if you were a burden.

When you woke up, just as he told you Jack was long gone and you simply let out a sigh. When he left early like that he would usually send you a text message that said good morning and how much he loved you, but you didn't know the last time he did that. You would usually send them and now they went unanswered.

You had some work to do yourself and had been working from home for the past few days. You couldn't quite put your finger on what it was that was bothering you besides the obvious with Jack, but you didn't feel 100%. 

Hoping that a hot shower would help, you hung eucalyptus at the top of it to open you up so that you could breathe better and lost track of time of how long you had been in there. 

Once finished, you got dressed and decided to bring your laptop to the living room in order to watch some movies for some background noise and order some food since you hadn't felt like cooking.

You nibbled at your food all day while you worked and when 5 PM came around of course Jack was nowhere to be found. You had sent a few texts throughout the day to ask how things were going and all he was doing was reading them and not responding, making you grow frustrated.

Around 10 PM, since you still didn't feel well, you made yourself a cup of ginger tea in hopes that would help and made your way upstairs to your room not even bothering to wait for Jack. It was clear that he didn't want to talk to you so you weren't about to force him.

When you woke up it was around 7 in the morning and you had felt worse than you did the night before. Jack wasn't next to you and you heard the shower running so you assumed that he was getting ready to go out and leave you by yourself…. Again.

Once he came out the shower, you couldn't help but to blurt it out.

"Baby, can you please stay home with me today?" You couldn't put your finger on as to why, but you didn't want to be by yourself.

"Y/N…. What is it now? Didn't we already talk about this?" He answered and had an immediate attitude.

"I just don't feel that well and want you to keep me company. It's just for a day.  You can miss one day."

"What don't you get when I say that I have to provide for us? You saying that you don't feel good is just another excuse to try and get me to stay home and start an argument. You look fine to me and I can't believe you would pretend to be sick for me to stay."

"Just say you hate me and go." You muttered and stormed into the bathroom while locking the door behind you.

"Why would you even say that?! I don't hate you!"

You didn't bother responding and simply brushed your teeth and washed your face. You could hear him moving around the bedroom and once you heard his keys, you knew he was getting ready to leave despite your protests. All you could do was sigh and attempt to go on about your day.

By noon, you couldn't focus and no amount of medicine was helping you feel any better so you decided to get dressed and head to the grocery store in the hopes of getting ingredients to make some soup and hopefully you would be able to keep it down. You had gotten to the couch downstairs and were putting on your shoes when you suddenly felt lightheaded. You gave it a few minutes to let it pass before standing up. And once you did, your head immediately hit the floor.

Jack was in the studio and cursed to himself. Nothing had been going right that morning and be felt that it was low key his Karma for blowing you off.

"What's wrong?" Urban asked while seeing his frustration.

"Could you do me a favor and go to my condo to get a sample hard drive that I forgot? I don't want to see Y/N."

"Wait, what? Why? Are you two fighting again? You've been fighting a lot more than usual."

"I just don't want to deal with her right now."

All Urban did was sigh because he hated seeing the two of you at odds. He didn't want to get in the middle of it, so he didn't bother saying anything.

"Be right back."

When Urban walked through the door, he called out to you but when you didn't answer he was confused. Your car was still in the driveway and he could hear the television playing so he wasn't quite sure what was going on.

He walked further into the condo into the living room to discover you on the floor and not moving.

"SHIT! Y/N!" Urban said while rushing over towards you and trying to tap you to wake up.

"Come on, wake up!"

Nothing he was doing was working and he quickly pulled out his phone to dial 911.

"Hello 911, what is the address of your emergency?"

Jack was growing increasingly inpatient and was wondering where Urban was since it had been at least two hours since he left. His condo wasn't that far from the studio and he figures that you had coerced Urban into staying with you and gave him the same sorry excuse of not feeling well that you told him earlier.

It was another 45 minutes before Urban stormed into the studio pissed off and red in the face.

"Do you not know how to answer your fucking phone anymore?!"

"What? You were coming right back anyway. It's been on DND all day. What took you so long?"

"Your girlfriend is what took me so long." Jack immediately rolled his eyes.

"Oh, did she give you that same bullshit ass excuse of her not feeling well?"

"You are such a fucking dumbass. When I got there she was on the floor, passed out! So when she told you that she didn't feel well, she wasn't lying! The paramedics were asking me all these questions that I didn't know the answer to since I didn't even know how long she had been on the floor or if she hit her head!"

"Wait, what?"

"You fucking heard me, your girl is in the hospital and hadn't even woken up when I left because I had to rush to get to your dumbass to tell you since your phone is on DND. The hospital had been trying to call you ever since she got there!"

All Jack did was mutter fuck under his breath and immediately started to feel guilty.

You had been telling the truth the entire time and all you wanted to do for the past few weeks is spend time with him and all he did was ignore you.

"I…."

"Just come on, I'll drive." Urban said and all Jack did was nod his head as a million thoughts were running through his mind.

Urban sped through traffic and made it back to the hospital in record time. Jack barely gave him a chance to stop the car at the entrance before jumping out and trying to get to you as soon as possible.

He immediately ran to the desk to ask the secretary where you were before she gave him directions to your room down the hallway.

Once he reached your room, he saw you sitting up with your head resting in your hand while the other was flipping through channels on television that was in the front of the room.

"Baby?" Jack said as he entered the room and all you did was look at him.

"Um, what happened?" He asked again and all you did was sigh.

"Don't you have somewhere else more important to be?" You asked while turning away from him to look at the TV.

"What? You're important to me, you're my priority."

"You can save the bullshit because I don't want to hear it. You know this is the first day that you called me baby and not by my first name in almost three weeks?"

"I… I'm sorry I was busy, but I'm here now." Jack tried to take your hand, but you quickly pulled it away.

"And you can leave. I don't need you here or want you here, you have to keep a roof over our heads, remember?"

"I know you’re mad at me, pissed is more like it for good reason but I just want you to talk to me."

"Oh, so now you want to talk? When you thought something might have happened to me? You have been acting like I bother you with everything that I say and you wondered why I said that you hated me this morning. I'm being admitted for the night so you'll be able to get your rest without me bothering you. I'll get Urban to pick me up tomorrow so that you can continue to provide for us. Now, you can leave so you can go and do that."

"You haven't even told me what's going on with you! I'm not leaving!"

"Why? So you can pretend to act like you care? I have started not to be able to recognize you anymore and I don't like the person that you're becoming so do me a favor and get out of my sight."

You had been home for a few days and Jack actually ended up staying the night with you in the hospital despite your protests. 

Long story short, you fainted because you were dehydrated and the stress that you had been under didn't help either.

Jack had been walking on eggshells around you since that day and was staying with you at home to make sure you had everything that you needed without having to lift a finger. However, now he was getting on your nerves because he wouldn't let you out of his sight. It sh

"Babe, when's the last time you drank water?"

"2006."

"Y/N! I'm trying to make sure you stay hydrated. I don't want you fainting again."

"I'm fine for the millionth time so you can leave. It's amazing how much free time you have now." You fired back and all he did was sigh.

"I never properly apologized to you and I'm sorry for making you feel like I didn't care about you and you should have never had to beg for me to spend time with you. I just get so wrapped up in my head with work that it's all that I focus on. I promise to do better moving forward and never make you feel that way ever again. I want this and I want us for the long haul."

“I don’t want you to promise me anything, instead show me by your actions.”

“Can I have a kiss to help me get started?” Jack asked while pouting and you immediately rolled your eyes before leaning over to kiss him since he sat next to you. 

“Uhhh I need one more for strength and maybe two more for good luck.”

“I… look now.”

“Please?!”

You obliged while leaning over to kiss him and he quickly pulled you onto his lap.

“I love you and I should never go that long without telling you again.” Jack whispered against your lips.

“I’m going to hold you to that.”

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[sarahlevys]

answer the questions and tag twenty people you’d like to get to know better!

thank you for tagging me @rhetoricalk !

nickname(s) - most of my nicknames are related to my RL name that i don't use on my tumblr, but i am also casually known as the twylexis devil 😈

star sign - scorpio 🦂

height - 5′1.5". the half inch is very important.

time - 7:53PM

birthday - mid november 😇

favourite band(s) - my music taste is comprehensive and knows no bounds; we can chalk it up to former music school problems. on any given day, i listen to latin/tropical, house, jazz, classical/western art, pop, and my current favorite: 70s & 80s power ballads. current favorite bands include haim, heart, and probably five million bands that i somehow can no longer think of.

favourite solo artist(s) - taylor swift, carly rae jepsen, maggie rogers, bruce springsteen, dua lipa, kygo

favourite food(s) - ribs, korean bbq, pretty much any asian food, pasta, mexican, ill basically eat anything

favourite colour(s) - most pink shades, burgundy, forest green

last thing i googled - other locations of this burger joint we just found for dinner earlier, haha

last show i watched - pam & tommy

last movie i watched - does the hp reunion count?

lucky number - 3

when did i create this blog - 2007 🤭

do i have any other blogs - a bunch of fest blogs, a bunch of saved URLs, @thankstwy rare/gen schitt's creek drabbles, and my baby @scraregenrecs

do you get asks - somehow a few of you have determined that you wanna hear from me, and i am endlessly grateful for it ❤️

why did i choose my url - my wife (not my actual wife... i suppose i must provide the disclaimer) @anniemurphys and i wanted to match so we did

blogs who follow you - it's reduced since my tumblr followers celebration last summer. i'm on my ipad rn so i don't know the exact number, but thanks, tumblr, for removing the porn/spambots?

dream trip - i'd love to go to new places like costa rica, peru, prague, norway, singapore, new zealand, etc. but i also would love to go back to places that have special memories for me like hawaii, australia, and london. and always, returning to my home away from home, new york, is at the top of my list. and also las vegas has somehow become my escape? lol

instruments - many. i can play every orchestral instrument, nearly every woodwind instrument, guitar and bass, ukulele, some mandolin, and piano. but brass and i don't mix.

average hours of sleep - 6.5-7.5 hours

how many blankets do you sleep with - weighted blanket if it's cold, light fleece blanket if it's not.

tagging: literally anyone. i haven't been active on tumblr in a while so i don't know who's been tagged or not. but if you're seeing this, i wanna know your answers!

[mizuuziz]

Dream of Me Pt 1. - San

Ft: Ex Hongjoong

Tags: Angst, Mentions of Dream Sequences, Mentions of Future, Mentions of Cheating, Mentions of killing, Mentions of Marriage, Strong Language, San x Reader (Gender Neutral)

Time Traveler San Au

2.4k

Smut in the next part

©Sleepyxhan All Rights Reserved

Do not repost on other sites that are not tumblr. Only use the repost button. No translations without permission.

Part 2 - Final

You were walking around the park when a man approached you, he told you his name. San explained your life story. No one else knew what you went through, someone who you barely knew told you all this. He was a stranger who you met mere minutes ago. He even spoke of your plans for a secret marriage to your boyfriend Hongjoong. No one knew, not even Hongjoong's friends. He even spoke of how you met Hongjoong as a kid. You both were in kindergarten, he even spoke of how you and Hongjoong got engaged. You were frightened, yet you felt like you knew San.

"I'll prove that I'm right, I'll show you your future." San looked at you dead in the eye, as he spoke to you.

"I believe you." The words came out of your mouth without hesitation.

"Do you want to know more? I'm warning you, it's all very hard to deal with. Are you sure you would want to know more?" San asked you, as he was sure to speak to you in a secluded area.

"I should, there's a reason as to why I met you. I should have listened to you if by chance I met you in the future." You nodded, as you only spoke the confirmation that San needed.

"If I stand corrected, your parents are opposed to this marriage, they don't believe that Hongjoong should be the one you marry. Well, you marry him, but you're only miserable. You believe that you know all of him, you even trusted him. For proof, I'll leave a detail out of how we met and something else, if you see it then you'll know that you were meant to know. As a result of your marriage, you were condemned." San waited for your response to what he saw you go through.

"What if I make a different choice? Can you see that other path I would choose?" You waited for San to respond to your visibly shaking hands. You started questioning your love really meaning something to Hongjoong.

"I cannot see any other alternatives, I'm a time traveler, I can only see what you went through when I met you. I loved you then, even when you dismissed my opinions on Hongjoong. You said that I was only jealous of him. I never wanted to see you suffer. You never even invited your parents because they opposed it, it was wrong. I am only given a chance to time travel in this time for now to stop you." San sadly glanced at you. You didn't know why your heart was aching for San.

"I'm sorry." You got up to hug San even if it's for a mere moment. You forgot about Hongjoong at the moment.

"I created a time machine, so I'm here. You both married in my presence, we had already met at the time. You also won't be able to wake up until you see your future, it's an effect to seeing your future. Y/n, he even cheated on you before the wedding. That sick in the head dared to." San looked at you in the eye with tears threatening to fall out.

Hongjoong cheated on you, yet San was the most affected. He saw you go through that. You approached San and wiped his eyes.

"Don't, I'm still not over you." San sadly backed away from you. You didn't know how to respond. You couldn't find another way to break the silence.

"San, tell me more." You worried more and more about what situation you got yourself into.

"Y/n, he had a baby. You married him without knowing that he had a son with a woman. You found out and wanted to get divorced. Hongjoong refused to let you go, even when you applied for a divorce. He was controlling. He even had the kid and the woman living with you." San looked down in sadness.

"You one day had enough and decided to kill him for taking away your youth. You told him that you both wouldn't divorce if he came to the apartment building rooftop. Everyone was living in that apartment building, you pushed Hongjoong off the rooftop. You were taken to prison for First-degree murder. Even after his death, you were tormented. My advice for you now, follow him today at night to prove my point." He finally spoke about what he could tell you.

"Thank you, I wish I would've listened to you before. I also hope that I could meet you at this point of my life." You started crying because there was someone who truly cared. You were determined to take the bind off your eyes.

"In two days, at 9 am was the moment we met. I have to go now." San hugged you until he disappeared.

You finally took off to your place while taking a fresh breath of air. The day became sad after San left. You didn't want to believe what you were told, but you shouldn't be fooled any longer. You would finally know who was lying. Hours passed and you finally got in touch with your fiancee. He called you to make sure you were okay.

"By the way babe, my friends are coming over tonight, I can't go see you. I'm sorry, I'll make it up to you." Hongjoong apologized over the phone. He seemed nervous, and you were apprehensive.

"It's fine babe, see you tomorrow." You responded in the usual manner.

You decided to use an excuse to go to his place. There was still light in the sky for you to go observe him. You took your car and waited at a stop that was out of sight to watch Hongjoong. You grew bored, but you needed to know. Good thing you didn't confront Hongjoong without proof when he called you. You waited until it was nighttime. The night stars beamed, you wanted to shine bright like those stars. You hoped to meet San again, you didn't want him to dissipate from your life. Then all of a sudden, you found your answer. Hongjoong ran out of his place to come to get a woman who was as young as you both. You never even met her before. To take away any doubts, Hongjoong even ran to her arms and kissed her on the lips. He was holding hands with her. That was your cue, you got out of your car. You approached both of them from behind and tapped on Hongjoong's shoulder.

"What the fuck, are you doing Hongjoong?" You were now mad that you were betrayed.

"Were you stalking me? Y/n, you're a psycho!!!" Hongjoong screamed even in front of that woman.

"You're a psycho for wanting to marry me even while having an affair, I don't deserve this. Now here's your stupid ring!!!" You finally threw your engagement ring on the street.

"No, you're not doing this to me!!!" Hongjoong gripped onto your wrist so tight.

"I called the police, now let her go!!!" A man came to your rescue and led you out of the situation. You recognized him immediately, it was San. Times changed, you were supposed to meet him in two days. You guessed that events changed since you caught Hongjoong cheating.

"Are you okay? Did he hurt you?" This present time San was just as kind as future time San. You stared at San in awe, he was right.

"I'm okay, thank you." You thanked San and asked for his number just in case Hongjoong came by again.

You drove home and called your parents to apologize. If San was right about this, then it's only right to reconcile with your parents. Now all you needed to do was go to sleep. You snuggled on your bed and slept.

You had dreamt about that future life. You met San at the grocery store when you went to go buy cereal and he was in that same aisle. He helped you reach the cereal you wanted. You both started meeting more and more until he found out you were getting married. He even told you that was walking to his house at night and saw Hongjoong with another woman kissing. Just as you saw them when you confronted them in this time because you changed time, but you dismissed San even when he told you what he saw. You even said that he was jealous and never wanted you to be happy. That same moment, he confessed his love for you, and you told him that you didn't want his worthless love because you loved Hongjoong. You couldn't recognize yourself, you became a monster. You didn't believe San and that led you to your doom at that time. You also saw how San created the time machine and wanted to use it the day of your wedding, but it failed. You committed a crime and were thrown in prison, you would refuse to see San. You also saw every single detail that future time San told you. That was all you could see.

You finally woke up, two days later. It was 6 am when you realized that there would be another encounter. You got ready even if there was still time. You realized the true meaning of love, Hongjoong only made you suffer in the long run. You tried to make things the same to not alter too much. You still dressed in the time you did before when you had to go for groceries. You finally drove to the groceries and went inside and went in just a bit before 9 am. He only said you both saw each other at 9 am. You approached the cereal aisle at exactly 9 am and there he was. He was with another woman, you thought that you should just leave. Then all of a sudden, he called out to you.

"Excuse me, I saw you yesterday. Don't go." San called out to you. You stopped for a moment before turning around.

"Oh hi, thank you for yesterday." You nervously replied as you approached him.

"No worries, but meet my sister Ha Neul." He grinned ear to ear as he introduced his sister and looked at you. You forgot that he didn't tell you his name even when he gave you his number. He only said his name in the future time, but at present time San didn't even have your name.

"I'm Y/n, what's your name?" You grinned as well as you asked San. You forgot that he never told you his name at present time.

"Omg, I'm sorry I didn't tell you my name. My name is San." He was soon told by his sister that he should've introduced himself before. She is pretty just like him.

"I didn't call you because I lost your number. You didn't put a contact name and I accidentally saved it without having your name." You replied. It was indeed true, but you also had been asleep for 2 days. It was all a supernatural experience that you wouldn't forget.

"Y/n, do you have a boyfriend?" Ha Neul asked you and San whispered to his sister to not ask such things.

"No, I got out of a relationship with someone who I realized that I no longer loved because they were bad to me." Both San and Ha Neul apologized.

"I'm over it, San actually saved me. And I took pictures of my arms." You told both of them. You also explained to Ha Neul what happened yesterday.

"Well I have to go now, thank you both." You smiled and said your farewells to the siblings. They both waved and you noticed that San was blushing. It seems like his sister was teasing him about you from the way his sister was looking in your direction.

You decided that you weren't going to break San's heart. As soon as you walked out of the grocery store, you felt like a weight was taken off your shoulders. The sun was shining bright today and you had no regrets. You walked out and embraced the sun rays that blinded your sight at the moment. The fact that San loved you all throughout the future time was comforting, you only wished that you chose him instead of Hongjoong. He loved you enough to save you from your doom, he never intended to make you fall for him. He even respected your decision to not accept his feelings in the alternate future. You planned to change your future.

Everything you saw in the alternate future took place in a span of years, but you fell for San in a span of days. All you needed to do was make him fall for you, he must not love you at the moment. If nothing happens, then it's not meant to happen. You will always be grateful for San since he saved you in both worlds. You refused to go down without trying even once. San said that you hurt him, your heart must have ached for a reason. You must have realized your faults too late and only pushed San away. You refused to make the same mistakes, you were almost involved in a poisonous marriage. There were small details that changed like the first time you both met and you even met his sister when you didn't do so in your alternate future.

You walked to your car as you felt the trees rustle on the shade your car was parked on. You were afraid that San wouldn't love you in this life. If he has no meaning for a time machine, there probably won't be one in the life you changed. All throughout the drive home, you worried that the changes could make it impossible to be with San. It may seem ridiculous, but you were going to go to the end of your newfound love for San. After all, he made so many sacrifices for you and you only hurt him in your alternate future. You finally rolled down your car windows because you felt overwhelmed already. The drive home felt like an eternity, then you noticed that it seemed like you would be getting new neighbors. The moving trucks were parked in the next-door neighbor's driveway.

You felt quite sad these days. You decided to just lounge around your house, you had nothing to do. You were laying down on your couch and were watching a series. Your doorbell rung, you don't have anyone to visit you which only makes you nervous. You look through the peephole and notice Ha Neul and San. Why are they here, could they be the new neighbors? You wondered if what you changed, had an effect on San's life.

[bbugyu]

good in bed + yoon jeonghan

between your long hours at the law firm and jeonghan's comeback coming up, time alone was hard to come by.

wc.3836 | smut, fluff, canon compliant, filthy language, too much laughing, gender neutral reader (but they do have a vagina), accidental domestication, an insane amount of praising and loving, the most vanilla smut i've ever written

i had every intention of writing a fic for every member before i started repeating and then jeonghan has been really mean to me this era and i was listening to dua lipa and wrote this entire thing in one go at like 2am a couple nights ago and now i have to post it

*

as someone who was lucky enough to have exclusive fucking rights to yoon jeonghan, you had learned that spontanaity was an absolute must. you were both extremely busy people, and sometimes making time to see each other was more difficult than you thought it should be. it didn't help that you couldn't meet in public - what with jeonghan's career - so days spent alone together were fewer and farther between, especially with his team gearing up for comeback promotions. recently, the most time you had spent with your boyfriend was the short while you spent video chatting when he got home from practice, usually around when you were waking up to head to work. 

so when you got a kakao message from jeonghan saying he was downstairs, you were quick to buzz him up to your floor, even if he knew the code to let himself in.

you had already settled in for the night, wearing a white tee with printing on the back - one of the many shirts he had abandoned at your home - and a pair of sleep shorts. you grabbed the pint of ice cream you had been snacking on and tossed it in the freezer before you went to the front door where your boyfriend has already punched in your door code.

his smile was immediate, an arm wrapping around your waist and pulling you into a quick peck on your cheek. "hi, baby."

you giggled when he pulled away. "hello, darling. to what do i owe the pleasure?"

"got out of practice early" jeonghan said, shuffling off his shoes and stepping into his designated slippers, tossing the duffel bag with his practice clothes to the side. "i convinced younghwan that i can get to the company on my own tomorrow."

"you have practice tomorrow? it's saturday."

jeonghan sighed, a smile dancing on his lips, running his fingers through your hair briefly. "fitting. 2pm. how was work?"

"fine," you said as you led him into your living area, thinking about how long it had been since the two of you had gotten to spend a whole evening and morning together. you meandered into the kitchen as you spoke about the intern you had taken on as a favor to a friend of yours. "have you eaten? do you want something?"

"i ate," he said, reaching an arm out to pull you towards him. he backed himself against a counter, smiling at you as you leaned into his chest. "you look particularly lovely today."

you huffed, batting at his chest. "shut up."

"you do!" he laughed, eyes big as he tried to convince you that his favorite version of you was the one that had already washed your face and was lounging in his clothes. you rolled your eyes and told him he just hadn't seen you much recently, but he countered by saying he looked at pictures of you every day, sighing at his phone, annoying all the members by saying how pretty you were and how much he missed you. you laughed at his tale of yearning, fully ready to call him a lying idiot.

then he kissed you, and you no longer remembered what you had talked about or if it was important, because jeonghan's lips were on yours and they demanded your full attention.

"mm, sweet," he teased, wrapping his arms tighter around you.

you giggled. "strawberry ice cream."

"good choice," he muttered, lips pressing against yours again. and much like the ice cream, you melted against him, heat rising in your chest when his hands worked their way down your hips and squeezed at your ass. your arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer as you nipped at his lower lip, sparking a low groan.

"okay, we're going now." you giggled at jeonghan's announcement as he squeezed a palm against your butt once more before grabbing your hand and leading you to your own bedroom. you were still giggling when he put his hands on your hips, standing at the edge of your bed. you placed your arms around his neck, excitedly kissing him again, savoring the taste of his tongue on yours. somehow, he was sweeter than ice cream.

he held you like that longer than he intended, but jeonghan had a habit of getting distracted by you. his hands kneaded at your ass, only covered by the thin fabric of your criminally short house pants, and he quickly shoved his hands under the waistband to grip at you fully. you gasped into his lips, wanting nothing more than to grind against his lap.

with his vantage point, jeonghan slid your shorts and underwear down your thighs easily, letting them pool at your slippers as he returned his attention to your rear end. you shuddered at the feeling of the cool air against your core, biting at his lip. impatient, you fought with his belted jeans and shoved them down his hips when they were loose enough, earning a sly grin. "need something?"

you stared at his cock as it sprung out of its confines, hard and angry. "dunno, do you?"

jeonghan didn't respond outside of sitting back on your bed, kicking off his jeans as you fumbled with your bedside table, finding a condom. it had been too long. you both needed something. and neither of you were in much of a position to tease the other.

you crawled over to where he had backed up, sitting with his dick on high alert, and straddled his lap. he took only a second to whip off his shirt, then ran his hands up under yours to run a thumb over your hardened nipple. you whimpered, rutting your bare pussy against his shaft, which pulled a groan from his chest. you were wet and hot against the underside of jeonghan's velvety cock, and his hips bucked involuntarily into yours at the feeling. his fingers gripped your hips, dragging your pussy across his length. you moaned when the head of his cock brushed up against your clit, making your thighs shake already.

"fuck, baby, i need you now."

you bit your lip and nodded, wishing you didn't have to remove yourself from him just so he could slide on a rubber. he bunched up the hem of your shirt, gripping it against your waist to watch as his cock disappeared into your warmth.

your head fell to his shoulder as you lowered, whining at the way your walls stretched around him. he exhaled slowly, putting one hand on the back of your neck, the touch relaxing some tension in your shoulders. "you opened right up, sweetheart. have you been touching yourself?"

you threw your head back, still feeling slightly visually impaired from how full he made you, and twisted your hips slightly, earning a muffled grunt from your overly confident partner. "what i do in my spare time is no business of yours."

"mmmm," jeonghan pulled your shirt up more, capturing a nipple between his lips and sucking. "but imagining you fucking yourself while i'm not around is incredibly hot."

you moaned, rolling your hips into his and wrapping your arms around his neck. "fuck, jeonghan-"

"do you use that vibrator i got you?" he asked, hands on your hips, guiding you up off his cock and pulling you down harshly. you yelped, clutching at the hair at his nape as your mouth fell open. he captured you in a messy kiss at the opportunity, a string of saliva connecting your tongues when you pulled away to continue bouncing on him. "do you stretch yourself out with it and wish it was me? you're so easy to fuck right now."

his cock slid in and out of you too smoothly for how little foreplay had occurred, and your cheeks burned at the realization that jeonghan had perhaps too strong of an effect on you. you tried not to think about how good the vibrator had felt when you tweaked your nipples the way jeonghan did, when you imagined his voice egging you on towards an orgasm, when you pretended it was his hand pumping the device into you instead of your own. 

his grip on your waist tightened as he felt your walls clench around him. "god, you feel fucking incredible. you feel like heaven. you feel like a dream."

"you go from so filthy to so cheesy" you whined, feeling him hit spots in you that made your vision blur momentarily. "make up your mind."

you barely registered the dreamy grin on his face as he wrapped his arms around you, holding you against his chest while he rolled his hips up into yours. "you're the most beautiful person i've ever met."

"no, you."

"i'm serious," he said, finding your eyes. "i'm so lucky to have you."

you blinked as you tried to think of a worthy response, only to have your thoughts interrupted by jeonghan rutting up into you again.

"i love that you pretend to be asleep when i wake up so that i can keep cuddling you," he said, catching your lips between words and thrusts. "i love the way you drink beer like it's the most satisfying thing in the world."

"j-jeongh-"

"shh," he said, smiling against your lips, continuing his steady hip rolling, pushing himself into all the spots that made you whine. you moaned, and he ate it up, his tongue gliding across your lips. "i'm not done."

your vision was starting to get fuzzy around the edges as you felt the tension coil in your gut. "i'm about to be," you said, dropping your face into his neck. "you're hitting me too deep."

"yeah, baby? you're gonna cum?" he leaned back against a hand and let you take the control you desperately wanted, rolling your hips against him in a way that hit your g-spot and stimulated your clit, and you gasped when he pinched at your nipple. "you look so good like this. fucking yourself on me."

your nails dug into his shoulders as you moaned out his name, riding out your orgasm on his lap. jeonghan watched you intently, like you were his favorite movie. the movie he could put on no matter what mood he was in. the movie he had memorized but never wanted to stop watching. he kissed you as you came down, rubbing your back under the oversized shirt. your hips stuttered on his, and he bit back a groan. his cock felt so hard in you he thought it might shatter if it went on like this for much longer.

you were still trying to catch your breath when you felt him twitch in you. you pressed your forehead against his. "mm, go ahead, baby."

"are you sure?" he asked, looking at you. "you're ready?'

you nodded, a hand on the back of his neck. he kissed you quickly and helped his shirt off your frame before falling back and bringing you with him, pulling a giggle from your lips as he rolled you over onto your back and hiked your thighs up around his hips. despite the fact that he never fully pulled out, you still sighed when he pushed back into you, overstimulated stretch morphing into continued pleasure far too quickly. 

jeonghan stayed like that a moment, parked with his hips between your thighs, hilt deep in your pussy, his elbows hooked under your knees, one hand on your waist and the other keeping him from putting all his weight on you. he loved the way you stared up at him, eyebrows ruffled slightly at your full cunt. he pushed into you a few more times like that before unhooking your legs, wrapping one arm around your waist and the other hand finding your jaw. your arms went to his neck again, pulling him into a kiss as he pumped himself into you.

"fuck," he groaned, biting at your lip. "god, your pussy is out of this world."

he kept burying himself in you completely, and even then tried to push his hips further into yours. he bit at your shoulder, hair sticking to the sweat accumulating on his forehead.

"you fit me so perfectly," jeonghan said, lifting his head to look at you. his thumb drifted across your jawline to your lips, and you instinctively parted them let your tongue roll out and wet the pad of his thumb. he groaned again, one eye squinting slightly as he focused on your tongue, remembering the way it felt along his cock. "we were made for each other, i think."

"you're so-" you started, but your post orgasm haze made it hard to form coherent sentences, especially when you were still getting fucked. "you're being so-"

"sweet?" jeonghan asked, kissing against your jawline. "romantic?"

"annoying," you said facetiously, earning a laugh against your neck. "i miss the days when you would call me a slut and leave while i was sleeping."

the kisses trailed back up your neck, and you whined as he began to pick up his pace. "sorry, i'm just so full of love these days."

"well," you interrupted yourself with a moan as your body began reacting more to his movement. "i'm full of dick."

jeonghan smiled again, but this one is covered almost completely by your lips on his, desperate and needy. an elbow kept him from laying completely on top of you, the same hand caressing your jaw gently as his lips worked against yours. you couldn't help the quiet squeak that escaped every time he bottomed out into you, and he wished he could have the image of you absolutely fucked out of your mind beneath him etched into his memory forever.

luckily, he saw it enough that it might as well be.

"i love it when you wear my clothes," he said. "i love the way you walk when you know i'm watching."

you gasped when his teeth dragged across your pulse. "not the neck, baby. i'm working on a really important case."

"mmm, so focused on your career." he smiled as he kissed further down and settled to leave a hickey on your collarbone, running a hand down your body. "god, everything about you is so sexy."

your back arched into his touch. "your dirty talk keeps getting weirder the longer we're together."

"what can i say? you turned me into someone that's horny for stability." that pulled a giggle from you, which quickly turned to a moan when he pushed his needy member into you again. "your body is so perfect against mine. i love every centimetre."

you couldn't help but think about all the times he had proven just that, fingers tracing over your sensitive skin while he lapped at your dripping folds. squeezing your thighs as he pushed his tongue into you. or when he had you on your stomach, caging you in with your tight cunt full of cock, a hand lifting your hip off the bed to get a better angle as he bit your shoulder. 

as your brain whirred with filthy thoughts of past fun, jeonghan groaned and sucked a nipple between his lips. you gripped his hair, knowing he felt every squeeze of your walls in reaction to his touch.

"you know what i love?" he said, releasing his mouth from your chest and kissing your lips instead. "i love when you greet me at the door. you know i'll get in just fine but you still come to the door."

you thought he was timing his thrusts to stop you from responding when your mouth opened just to let out a moan. "i missed you."

"i missed you, too, baby." your ankles hooked around each other behind his back. "i missed your perfect body and your smart mouth."

"jeonghan," you gasped slightly. "p-please don't stop."

he moaned, pulling you as closely against him as he could. "i love you when you laugh," he whispered, eyes screwing shut. "you're like an angel. so beautiful and sweet. but god, i love it when you're mean, too."

you wanted to say something about his words sounding familiar, but the thoughts disappeared before they could reach your mouth.

"remember when i visited your office," he said, recalling the saturday eons ago, one of the first times you had met up without the intention of blowing off some steam sexually. even with a mask and a bucket hat on, your assistant had recognized him immediately, making you threaten her with your law degree to make sure she didn't spread any rumors about the idol. "there was barely anyone around but you were still wearing slacks and a button up. i think i fell in love with you just by watching you work that day."

"oh, god, jeonghan," you whimpered. "fuck, i'm going to cum again."

"yeah you are, baby." jeonghan snaked a hand between you to press against your clit, the movement of his hips crashing into yours forcing his thumb to rub against the sensitive nub. you gripped his hair, nails digging into the back of his neck. "cum for me, sweetheart."

your want to please him won easily against your tired body, especially with how worked up he had managed to get you, and you practically rattled against him as he fucked into you. you grabbed the sides of his face and moaned into the kiss, and it only took seconds of your walls pulsing around his cock before he was stuttering his hips and unloading into the condom.

when his lips pulled away from yours, you were both breathing heavily with a light sheen of sweat making you sparkle in the dim lighting of your bedroom. he buried his face in your neck, wrapping his arms around your waist completely and settling into you. "ok goodnight."

you laughed, your hand running through jeonghan's hair as you cuddled. "goodnight," you said, knowing he would roll off you too soon to discard the condom and find some water. you twisted a bit of his hair around your fingers, sighing happily, enjoying the feeling of him in you while you could. 

"baby," he said, voice muffled from being pressed into the crook of your neck. "do you wanna order takeout?"

you laughed. "i thought you said you ate?"

jeonghan pulled away to grin at you. "i've been known to tell a white lie every once in a while." you laughed, letting out a small noise when he pulled out of you to discard the condom in your bathroom. "especially when i have really good motive."

you laid on your side, watching him flick the light on and off to find the garbage can. "i love you."

"yeah?" after discarding a tissue he used to quickly clean himself up a bit, he hurried himself back to your side, sliding into your bed next to you. "how much?"

you sat up, looking for where he had discarded the shirt you were wearing. "just enough to get you dinner. what do you want?"

"hmm," he traced your spine with his fingertips. "black bean noodles."

you rolled your eyes, crawling over him to get out of bed and grabbed the shirt he came in. "you always want black bean noodles," you said, pulling it over your head, tugging at the black fabric and showing it off to him.

jeonghan smiled as he watched you. "that one place you always order from. they don't deliver to the new dorms."

"ah," you said, finding your underwear and tossing jeonghan's towards him. "you're using me for my address."

he laughed and sat up to pull on the undergarment. "that and the mindblowing sex."

you laughed, brushing your fingers through your hair as you left the bedroom to retrieve your phone and place the order. "you're lucky you're pretty."

when you returned with your phone and leaned against the doorframe, jeonghan was pulling on a pair of his shorts that he had gotten from your closet. he grabbed the shirt you had been wearing from the bed, shoving his feet into his slippers and shuffling towards you. you smiled at him as you waited for the restaurants in your area to load in app, searching for the place he had talked about.

"do you want anything else?" you asked, letting him snake an arm around your waist and plant a kiss on your lips.

"mmmmmm, no, i don't think so. you're everything i need."

you squinted at him. "extra radish? soondae?"

he squinted back. "okay, just prove me wrong, then."

you giggled, poking at his bare chest before pulling away to continue the dinner order. "i wanted soondae."

"hey, i thought you were buying me dinner."

you tossed your phone on the couch after the order sent, jeonghan's arms around your hips encumbering you as you laughed and tried to walk away from him, the shirt he had intended to put on getting abandoned on the floor. "yeah, and i'm also letting you sleep in my bed tonight. and feeding you in the morning. and driving you to work tomorrow. start thanking me."

"thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou-"

you practically snorted, pushing on his chest as he made kissy faces at you. "god, you're so annoying!"

jeonghan laughed, pulling at your waist until he could secure his arms under your butt, lifting you off the floor. "i love you thank you i love you!"

"where's this energy coming from?" you split your knees to wrap around jeonghan's waist. he turned to sit on the couch with you on his lap, making you frantically grab your phone as he sat half on it. "haven't you been practicing all day?"

he smiled, hands running up and down your thighs and over your ass. "i was getting so burnt out without you around. i feel alive again."

you pouted. "you can't say stuff like that."

"why?" he kept smiling at you. "it's true. you are my energy."

something in your chest fluttered, making you blush. you thought about all the long days of work and all the long nights you had spent without him. how tired you always felt. how much your mood increased just by seeing the message from him earlier. "shut up. you're mine, too."

he grinned even wider. "do you wanna visit the new dorms? i'm almost done decorating my room."

"does it look exactly like your old room?"

he kept facing you, but his eyes darted to the left. "no."

you giggled, your hands finding his neck and placing a quick kiss on his lips. "i'd love to. when will you be home?"

"next weekend?" it would be the last free sunday he'd have for a while. "i can hide you. you could stay over."

you sighed. "your managers are gonna be so sick of us."

"it's fun though, right?" he laughed. "sneaking around like teenagers."

"at least we don't have to fuck in cars," you teased, checking the delivery time on your phone. "fifteen minutes."

"mmm, however shall we fill the time?"

you rolled your eyes, but smiled against his lips nonetheless.

[butterbeerblurbs]

🌼 in the works / drafts

as the title of this post suggests, this is where i’ll be putting up things that are in the works or fics that i have in mind/working on depending on the status! i’m considering to open requests after 50 kisses with fred weasley, and will be using this post to track things! and also let you guys in on what i’m working on if anyone’s interested! ✨

p.s. none of this is final! they could be scraped out along the way. (sometimes i have a lot of ideas so i write everything down, but they might not turn out the way i want so i throw them out :>)

[last update: 10.07.2021] 

🌼 pending once 50 kisses with fred weasley is completed

a fun drabble game based on this list! [please do not request anything for this yet, it’s not up for it. will make a post only after the last 50 kisses drabble is up!

🌼 series

ctv3 collection | oneshots inspired by jaden’s album cool tapes volume 3. (drafted all here + lyrics to inspire each oneshot)

tiktokthings | blurbs / drabbles inspired by tiktoks [ttt] current ideas in the works [will link to the tiktoks when posted!]: 🎟rate yourself (off the charts) [fred asking you to rate yourself from 1 to 10 and won’t take any answer less than 10] 🎟say it back [in which, fred can’t leave the house until he hears you say ‘i love you’ back to him] 🎟we (kinda) got plans [in which, fred doesn’t feel like going out with anyone and hopes for you to say you two have plans to dodge it]

🌼 full fics / long-fics

can’t take my eyes off of brew (you) [drafted, to be written out properly] 💌: fred wasn’t the biggest fan of coffee, but he was the second he had a cup from you. (college!au, modern!au, barista!reader, footballer!fred)

🌼 oneshots

five more minutes… more [drafted, to be written out properly] 💌 : summer mornings with fred, in the burrow only meant one thing: it was absolutely harmless staying in bed for another five minutes, and another five… and another five…

i’ll be your cloud nine [just idea written out] 💌 : on the days where fred feels he has nothing to love, you show him that he is everything worth loving. you will always be fred’s favorite form of loving.

you’re my cloud nine [written halfway, to be completed] 💌: on days where you feel like you have nothing to love, fred shows you that you are everything worth loving. fred will always be your favorite form of loving.

cheeky [written halfway, to be completed] 💌: another prank against fred resorts to sweet victory for george weasley and a plotting revenge from fred weasley

kiss for thought [just idea written out] 💌: when fred is unsure of how to comfort you, he does what he’s very good at: offering kisses in return for your thoughts.

summertime surprise [just idea written out] 💌: spending your summer at the burrow with fred and his family was one of the many memories you had of summer. fred always find ways to add more things onto that list of memories. this, being one of them. (shh, can’t tell you now, that’s the point of a surprise, no?)

grow with me, grow with you [just idea written out] 💌: fred adores the things you adore... even if it means being a plant dad. (that it gets him excited to one day thinking he’ll hopefully be a father to your children)

can we dance? [just idea written out] 💌: based on the song “can we dance” by the vamps.

quiet nights (goodnight, love) [written halfway, to be completed] 💌: when you can’t sleep, you try to clear your head. and when you can’t sleep, fred can’t sleep either, especially when he doesn’t feel you in his arms the second you escape them.

expelled... only if caught [written halfway, to be completed] 💌 : fred and george were two masterminds too brilliant to be left on their own. what happens when one of the masterminds get together with someone who’s more than willing to join in with fred with his endeavours? (that’s you, btw)

ethereal glow [written halfway, to be completed] 💌 : fred is a man willing to do anything for you - even sitting through forty-five minutes of an extensive skincare routine.

p.o.v [just idea written out] 💌: based on the song “pov” by ariana grande.

levitating [just idea written out] 💌: based on the song “levitating” by dua lipa.

my baby [idea written out] 💌: in which you’re sick and fred takes care of you. :-)

nothing like doing nothing, with you [idea written out] 💌: based on the song “nothing” by bruno major.

lazy mornings & forgotten responsibilities [written halfway, to be completed] 💌: some mornings, fred is bursting with energy to start the day. this morning, he’s all about wanting to stay in bed just a little bit longer with you.

the want and the need* (explicit) [written out halfway, to be completed] 💌: fred’s has been a little preoccupied in terms of work and stress, lately. a small help from you hopefully elevates some of that from his shoulders.

[spidernerdsblog]

I Forgot That You Existed : Chapter Eight

A/N: Chapter eight is here. A little longer than other chapters got carried away. Things are finally starting to fall back in their places will Y/N finally let her guard down.Hope you like this chapter. Feedback and suggestions are always welcome.

Pairing : Tom Holland × Singer reader

Summary : It's been more than five years since you and Tom have gone their own ways after a heartbreaking breakup which had left both of you shattered. Both of you thought that you were finally over with each other and were happy in your respective lives until you meet again at a reunion trip planned by your best friend and you realize you are still not done with each other.

Warnings : none

Mini Playlist : You belong with me and Style by Taylor Swift, Levitating by Dua Lipa

People gathered around you all after hearing the commotion.Tom picked you up in princess style and carried you to the car. He gently placed you on the seat then took out the water bottle and sprinkled some water on your face. You regained your consciousness, fluttering your eyes open. Immediately you grasped on to him.. 

“Tom!! That Steve!” you panicked

He embraced you in his arms, chin resting above your head whilst brushing his hand through your hair in a comforting manner. Your face was buried into his chest. The warmth radiating from his body made you feel safe. 

“I know baby, it's okay now don't worry I’m here. He'll never come near you again. Let's get you home okay.”He cooed in a soothing manner. 

You were trembling as you looked up to him tears shimmering in your eyes. He brought his hands to cup your face wiping your tears with his thumbs as he placed a soft kiss on your forehead. He fastened the seat belt around you and swiftly went and sat on the driver's seat and started the car. Throughout the drive he was checking upon you constantly. He figured out that you were traumatized. 

“Y/N just close your eyes and don't think of anything else. I’m here darling. Here, hold my hand.” you complied to him closing your eyes you squeezed his hand. Tom knew very well that when you were stressed you needed someone for reassurance. 

Reaching home Tom helped you out of the car. His hands across your body you leaned yourself on him. He slowly took you inside.

A wave of shock ran through everyone's faces after seeing you in such a pathetic condition. Zendaya ran towards you. 

“Y/N!? Oh my god! What happened to her?” concern in her voice as she took you from Tom’s arms. 

“Long story.” Tom sighed

“For now get her some rest. Also she fainted a while ago.”  

“What!?” everyone exclaimed in unison 

“I knew this would happen, she hadn’t eaten anything since morning,” Chloe said, shaking her head. 

Needless to say the whole trauma of the incident and your intermittent starving took a toll on you. You were down with fever. Zendaya nursed you through the night. Though Tom had earlier insisted on taking turns but everyone told him not to due the ongoing tension between him,you and El.

Everybody had trouble sleeping that night as they were worried about you. Next morning everyone was gathered in the living room. 

“Man I would have chopped off his hands. How dare he even think of her like that? Harrison said angrily

“What do you think mate, I didn't think of doing that? I felt like choking the life out of his body”  

“It's all my fault. She wasn't even willing to come. I was the one who forced her to come this time.” Harrison lamented. 

"Don't blame yourself man. This wouldn't have happened if I hadn't made a scene that night." Tom shook his head. 

"But Y/N has to still do the concert right? What if he appears there?" Harry pointed out. 

"We need to talk to Alex right away." Harrison said. 

"Yeah, good point, let me talk to Alex about it." Tom sprinted off the couch to go to your room as he saw Zendaya walking down the stairs yawning. 

"Hey how's she?" 

"Yeah she is fine now. Temperature is also normal but she's still asleep due to the medication." 

"Good for her only she needs it." 

Tom went to your room. His eyes went to your sleeping figure, he wondered how angelic you look sleeping peacefully. He pulled up the blanket a little bit over you. And placed a soft kiss on your forehead. Your phone was lying on the nightstand. He took your phone and unlocked it. He smiled at the fact that you haven't changed your pass code. He searched through your contact list and dialled Alex's number. 

"Hey Y/N finally got the time to remember me huh! How are you dear? 

" Umm.. Hi Alex it's Tom"

"Oh hi Tom is everything alright ? Oh my god did anything happen to Y/N?" Alex panicked. 

"Oh no relax she's fine… sort of. A certain kind of problem has arised here actually." Tom explained to him everything about what had happened. 

"Oh that swine. Thanks Tom for letting me know. I'll see to it that the moron gets fired and will arrange for a new one." 

"See to it that it's a lady this time. Really don't want any more men around her." 

"Yeah sure." 

"Umm Alex I heard that you actually managed all this stuff for her." 

"Yeah I never let her directly associate with anyone and it now seems that was a mistake from my side." 

“Uhh can I.. you know be her assistant for this event and look into the matter.” Tom said hesitantly.

“That will be great Tom. I will be so relieved but only if you are okay with that.” 

“I'm more than okay.” Tom said cheerfully. 

“But I don't think she will agree to it. I know her very well. Tell her I appointed you then she'll not protest.” 

“Okay thanks Alex.”

“I should be thanking you Tom for looking after her even after the past you both share.” 

"Don't worry Alex I'll never leave her alone. It was nice talking to you mate" 

"Same here man." 

"I better go check up on her." 

"Yeah sure" Tom ended the call. 

Tom was about to enter your room, he saw that you were up.

"Whoa where do you think you are going? You are not putting your feet down from the bed today." Tom said with a serious tone. 

“I need to use the toilet dimwit. Or you want me to wet the bed?” 

“Oh that will be odd.” 

“Let me help you” he gave you his hand. 

“I'm fine, I can walk.” 

By the time you were inside the bathroom. Tom quickly went downstairs to the kitchen to bring your breakfast. He had requested Sam especially to make your favorite soup. Tom was busy arranging everything on a tray as Sam spoke. 

“Is El okay with all of this that you are doing?” 

“I’m way past what others think about the relationship I and Y/N share, Sam. El has to understand that before we were a couple Y/N and I were best friends and that relationship will never change. Though lately I have been failing in my best friend duties too.” 

“But are you doing this for Y/N as her childhood best friend or are your boyfriend instincts coming back?”

“No mate Y/N and I have been through it. We aren't getting back together at least she doesn't want to.” 

“What about you bro?” 

“I don't know. For now I only know she needs me and I'll be there for her."

You stepped out of the bathroom feeling fresh. You walked to the dressing table to brush your hair. Tom walked in your room and placed the food tray on the bedside table. 

“C'mon sit down.” You turned around. 

“What's this?” 

“Your breakfast. Sam made your favorite soup. Now come over here.” He patted on the mattress

“You seriously don't need to do this for me.” 

“You talk a lot just do as I say and come here and sit down.” You went and sat on the bed folding your legs resting your back against the headboard. Tom sat on the bed facing you. He took a spoonful of the soup and blew the hot air to cool it down for you. 

“Okay now open your mouth.” 

“I'm not a baby Tom. I can eat by myself.” 

“Yeah that is why you starved yourself. Seriously Y/N I didn't expect this from you. Since when did you become so irresponsible about your health? I was so worried…I mean we all were so worried about you.” 

“I was at a loss of appetite and didn't feel like eating.” You sheepishly looked at him. 

“Okay enough talking now, finish this.” Tom fed you. After you finished eating he wiped your mouth with a napkin. 

“By the way thanks for this and yesterday.” 

“Hey I'm your friendly neighborhood spiderman it's my job to protect people.” He chuckled. You smiled, shaking your head. Suddenly your face dropped as you remembered last night's events. Tom noticed that. 

“Hey it's alright Y/N.” He said holding your hand and rubbing his thumb reassuringly.

"You were so right Tom, that guy was a monster. How could I be so blind?" you repented. 

"Just forget about that moron thinking as if it was a nightmare which is now over."

"By the way I have good news for you. I'm your temporary assistant for this whole event.” 

“No you're not.” you said in disbelief. 

“You don't get to decide because Alex has already appointed me and now everything will go through me.” 

“What!? You called Alex? I'm so dead right now.” You shook your head holding it with your hand. 

“He has strictly said not to allow you to interact with anyone I'm in charge of everything for the next three days.” 

“Okay but do I need to pay you? I don't mind but I didn't appoint you, you volunteered so it should be free.” Tom laughed. Just then Paddy knocked at the door. You both looked at him. Tom walked to him and took the thing Paddy brought with him in his hand. 

“Thank you Pads I'll take it from here.” 

“What is that?” 

“A glass of warm milk for you.” 

“And what do you expect from me? To drink it? That's not happening.” You crossed your arms shaking your head in disapproval. 

“Y/N you have to drink this. You are still weak.”

“Tom you know very well I am nauseous to it's smell.” you whined 

“See I haven't told your parents about your fainting episode so if you don't want them to know, finish this.” 

“Are you blackmailing me?” you raised an eyebrow placing your hands on your hips.

“I might if you don't listen.” he shrugged. 

“Uggh!! okay fine!” You took the glass from his hand and pinched your nose so that you don't inhale the smell. You drank the milk. 

“C'mon. Yeah almost there.” Tom encouraged you. 

"Good girl." You gagged after you finished it. He took the glass from your hand. You wiped your mouth with the back of your hand. 

“Okay as you're taking a rest today let me chalk out everything for your event. So what songs are you planning to perform?” 

“Everything is noted down on my iPad, wait let me bring it.” 

“What did I say you are not setting your feet down today. I'll take it myself, where is it?” You rolled your eyes. 

“It's in that brown duffel bag.” He went and unzipped the bag. Something of yours caught his eyes as a slight blush crept on his face. 

You suddenly remembered in that bag you had packed some of your finest lacy lingerie just in case you know, but now it was too late. You flustered noticing his facial expressions. 

"What are you ogling at you perv? They are just clothes only okay. And as if you have never seen those before" Tom was startled as he turned around.

"What!? I didn't say anything.” He chuckled. “And these I'm seeing for the first time, when did you buy these? They are really pretty by the way" he gave a cheeky grin. You gawked at his audacity narrowing your eyes. 

"Okay sorry I shouldn't have said that" he laughed. 

He extended you the tablet, you snatched it from him and opened the files and handed it back to him. After taking a look he said.

"Okay the other songs are fine but I don't agree with the starting song." 

"Why?" 

"It's kind of dark and I think you should start with something cheerful." 

"Tom that song got record views on YouTube in 24 hours and to be speaking of dark the whole album is  dark. And Steve also said it would be.." you stopped as Tom gave you a questioning look.

"Yeah right no more talking or thinking about that moron but I need to sing at least one from the album." You whined. 

"Yeah choose any other song from the album and sing it in between not in the beginning." 

"Then what do you want me to sing?" 

"I have the best song in my mind." He took out his phone and played a song. 

You belong with me playing

"Oh no no no I'm not doing that." you nodded your head sideways vigorously in disapproval.

You're on the phone with your girlfriend, she's upset

She's goin' off about somethin' that you said

'Cause she doesn't get your humor like I do

I'm in the room, it's a typical Tuesday night

I'm listenin' to the kind of music she doesn't like

And she'll never know your story like I do

Song continues to play in the background…… 

"Oh c'mon. You used to love singing this when I was in a relationship with the girl you hated the most in high school." 

"Huh! That gothic troglodyte." You scoffed. 

"What was her name again?" Your forehead puckered pretended to think hard. 

"Sofia"

“Yeah right Sofia. How dare she come to me and say to stay away from you. I was this close to hitting her in the face.” Tom shook his head laughing.

“I was like excuse me bitch don't get so flattered with the new boyfriend you are showing off to the world because if I go and tell him to leave you he will oblige to me without a question and throw you out of his life." 

"You seriously had that much trust in me." Tom’s eyes widened.

"I trusted you more than me, dummy." 

“You seriously couldn't ask out any other girl in the whole school? How desperate were you?" you frowned, rolling your eyes. 

“C'mon I wasn't a stud that time as you see me now." 

“You could have asked me out." You pouted. 

“You were my junior Y/N how could you come to my senior prom." 

“I still remember how you used to roam around her like a puppy.” you giggled. 

“No I didn't.” he retorted. 

“Yes you did but when she dumped you for that red head I was the happiest person on this planet not gonna lie.” you snorted.

“Ouch” 

“She was a good riddance though.” You chuckled. 

“That's why you were upset and wrote this song back then?” He arched his brows.

“Nooo why would I be upset with that flour bag. It was you for who I was upset for. I had this huge crush on you but you never noticed it. I felt insecure. She made me think that maybe I'm not good enough for you. Maybe I'm not that pretty.” you rambled. 

“Hey hey listen to me.” He cupped your face.

“you're the prettiest, most talented and kind hearted girl I have ever met. We actually don't deserve you. You are perfect and that is why even after I had feelings for you since like forever I didn't have the guts to ask you out. Never underestimate yourself, you only deserve the best.”

El had come to call Tom but she stopped at the doorway as she listened to your conversation. 

Can't you see that I'm the one who understands you?

Been here all along, so why can't you see

You belong with me

Standin' by and waitin' at your back door

All this time, how could you not know, baby

You belong with me

You belong with me

You belong with me

Have you ever thought just maybe

You belong with me

You belong with me

You gazed into his soft brown eyes. You wanted to tell him that you have already lost the best thing you had, that is him. You both stared into each other a little longer, you cleared your throat to ease the tension as Tom retracted his hands from your face. 

“Uhh okay I think you should lie down now let me go check what others are doing.” 

“Yeah." Tom left taking the food tray. 

………………………………….

After lunch you were still lying on bed utterly bored Zendaya was beside you reading a book.

“Am I on my deathbed?'' 

“What makes you think that?" Zendaya chuckled. 

“Then why am I not allowed to go out?" 

“You are sick and anyways the boys are decorating the house for Harrison's birthday so we don’t have anything to do." 

“Wait what!!? Oh my god I totally forgot today is Harrison's birthday." You slapped your forehead. 

"They are decorating and didn't bother to call me. Wait till I kick their asses."  You got up from the bed and ran downstairs. 

“What are you guys doing?" you said, crossing your hands, frowning. 

“Can't you see we are decorating." Harry said. 

“Yeah that I can totally see but is Haz turning 5 today? What's with this annoyingly stupid decoration?" you said with a sarcastic tone.

“And the sassy queen is back.'' Harry quipped. 

“Seriously guys I have been away from you all like what six years and you guys have lost all your class. I didn't expect your standards to go this low. But that's fine I'm here now I'll get you back in shape." 

“Y/N we can't redo the decorations again we are tired already." Sam whined. 

“And why are you even out of your bed? Tom counter questioned you holding some streamers in his hands. 

“C'mon guys my man is turning 30. I want it to be special. Pleaase." You pouted. 

“Okay as you say Y/N." The boys agreed.

"Yayy!! Love you guys" You clapped your hands excitedly. 

“Okay let's discuss and make a list of things we require quickly. 

“First of all the theme color of the party will be black and gold so I need metallic balloons in black and gold. Sam I need you to cook the finest dishes you have got to offer. Tuwaine you handle the booze Jacob will help you with that. Oh and for the cake I need a rum cake." 

“What are you gonna do?" Harry asked. 

“What? I'm already doing the work of supervising you guys isn’t that enough?. Moreover, I'm sick too, you know."

“Always know your way with us." 

“Okay enough talking get your asses back to work we don't have much time. And take these ridiculous decorations out of my sight." Everyone got back to redecorating the house as per your directions.

“Okay guys everything ready? Ed texted me they are almost at the front door." 

"Everything is as you wanted Y/N stop stressing so much" Tuwaine reassured. 

"Okay then get into your positions."

Ed came back with Harrison. The lights were out as you all positioned yourselves. As soon as the door opened you all jumped out of your places. The lights turned on. 

“Surprise!!!!!!" 

“Happy Birthday!!! Harrison!!!" Everyone shouted in unison. 

“Whoa!!" Harrison was overwhelmed with joy as he gasped, putting his hand on his chest. 

“Now this looks like a dope decoration. Which you divs ofcourse can't pull it off unless it was my best girl…" he was cut short as you walked in singing with the birthday cake in your hand. 

Happy birthday to you 

Happy birthday to you 

Happy birthday dear Harrison 

Happy birthday to you 

Tom was behind you; he had two crackers lighted in his hands. 

“Aww thank you guys I'm feeling so emotional right now." You placed the cake on the table. 

“C'mon you div cut the cake." 

Harrison blew out the candles and cut the cake. He took a piece and fed you first.

“Congratulations now you are officially an old man." You teased. He then fed to Tom. 

“Happy birthday bro." Tom hugged him.Everybody helped themselves with the cake and food. 

“Okay let's light up the party will ya?" 

You played the music. 

Levitating starts playing

(If you wanna run away with me, I know a galaxy

And I could take you for a ride

I had a premonition that we fell into a rhythm

Where the music don't stop for life

Glitter in the sky, glitter in my eye

Shining just the way I like

If you feeling like you need a little bit of company

You met me at the perfect time)

“C'mon singleton I'm your date for tonight.” you pulled Harrison by his hands to the centre of the room.

(You want me, I want you, baby

My sugar boo, I'm levitating

The milky way, we're renegading

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)

You pulled him closer to you and placed his hands on your hips. Your hands went on to his shoulders as you both swayed to the music. 

(I got you, moonlight

You're my starlight

I need you all night

Come on, dance with me

I'm levitating

You, moonlight

You're my starlight

I need you all night

Come on, dance with me

I'm levitating)

Others joined you shortly. You interlock your hands around his neck as you sway back and forth. 

“Sorry for almost ruining your birthday” you pouted.

“Hey this is the best birthday I have ever had” he raised his hands to your shoulders, interlocking them around your neck. “Especially when my best friend has planned everything” He lightly bumped his forehead on yours. 

(I believe that you're for me, I feel it in our energy

I see us written in the stars

We can go wherever, so let's do it now or never

Baby, nothing's ever ever too far

Glitter in the sky, glitter in our eyes

Shining just the way we are

I feel like we're forever every time we get together

But whatever, let's get lost on Mars)

Harrison twirled you around as you both laughed. You left his hand and waltzed your way to the tables where the drinks were kept. You saw El standing in the corner you thought of going to her but then let go of the thought. 

(You can fly away with me tonight

You can fly away with me tonight

Baby, let me take you for a ride

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

I'm levitating (woo)

You can fly away with me tonight

You can fly away with me tonight

Baby let me take you for a ride

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)

 You saw Tom approach El as they happily danced together. You smiled. 

(My love is like a rocket, watch it blast-off

And I'm feeling so electric, dance my ass off

And even if I wanted to, I can't stop

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)

You, Zendaya and Chloe got up on the large wooden centre table of the living room and started  dancing. 

“If you girls fall off the table and break your bones we are not taking your responsibility” Ed warned.

(My love is like a rocket, watch it blast-off

And I'm feeling so electric, dance my ass off

And even if I wanted to, I can't stop

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)

“Don’t worry babe our bones are very strong and bendy” Chloe snickered. As you all bursted out laughing.

(You want me, I want you, baby

My sugar boo, I'm levitating

The milky way, we're renegading

I got you, moonlight

You're my starlight

I need you all night

Come on dance with me

I'm levitating (woo)

You all  jumped off the table as you were about to turn you bumped into Tom, your palms lay flat on his chest, his hands went around your waist. You locked eyes with each other for a moment, soon you retracted. Harrison came and placed his hands on both of your backs as you danced together. 

(You can fly away with me tonight

You can fly away with me tonight

Baby, let me take you for a ride

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

I'm levitating (woo)

Song continues………...

The night was full of hearty laughters, drinks, good music and lots of dancing. 

After the wild night you guys had. You were sleeping like a log next morning. Zendaya tried to wake you up but you didn't budge so she gave up. Tom checked the time,he knew you were going to be late if he didn’t wake you up. 

“Y/N wake up" Tom nudged your shoulder pulling away the covers. 

"Mmmhmm go away Tom let me sleep" you waved your hand to shoo him away. 

"You can sleep as much as you want after the concert. C'mon love wake up." 

“No!" You pulled over the covers on your face. 

Tom thought he had no other option than doing what he was going to do. He put his hands inside the covers and started tickling you. 

“Okay sleepyhead now get up." 

“Tom! Stop it! No!" You started giggling as you rolled on your side. Tom continued to tickle you and got up on the bed. He was laughing too. You threw your arms and legs to tackle him away. He caught one of your hands and got up to straddle you around your hips.

“You can't win, I have super strength, remember?"

“Oh fuck off you div." You threw your legs once more as Tom lost balance and fell on your side you quickly got up to straddle him. 

“I win." You pinned his hands down and flashed a cheeky grin. 

“Not so easily darling." He easily freed his hands from your grip and again started tickling you. You struggled to hold on to his hands as he rolled you over on your back and trapped you under his weight. Your chests pressed against each other, legs tangled, his head buried in the crook of your neck, hands sprawled on the bed. Your palms lay flat on his back holding onto him both of you laughing uncontrollably. You slowly regained your composure, you were breathless due to the laughter riot you had as you whispered softly. 

“Tom.."

“Hmm?.." Tom hummed his chest moving up and down heaving.

“Tom.. I think you should get up before anyone comes in and gets the wrong idea." Tom suddenly became aware of the questionable position he was lying upon you. 

"Oh yeah." He hurriedly got up. 

You sat up fixing your t-shirt. Both of you were blushing as you looked awkwardly at opposite corners of the room avoiding each other's gaze. 

“Uh.. I'm sorry." Tom stuttered. You glance up as your eyes meet. 

“It's okay. I.. I better get dressed." You tucked your hair behind your ear. 

“Yeah me too." He got off the bed and walked out of your room. He turned to look at you one last time, you smiled at him.

After reaching the stage ground. Tom was skillfully doing his job handling each and everything not allowing you to even talk to anyone other than your musical troupe. 

“You just focus on your practise session. I'll handle everything." He said. 

You discussed with the group and started practicing. After a while you all took a break for half an hour though it was Tom who insisted citing your health. You came back with Tom to the music room to sit for a while. Tom admired the various instruments kept in the room; he took an electric guitar in his hand and strummed a few chords.

“It's not your field of expertise Spiderman." You sneered. 

“Are you challenging me?" 

“I'm stating facts. You shrugged. 

“Try me."

“Really? Okay let's see my next song is Style, think you could play it?” Tom instantly started playing the starting tune of the song on the  guitar. You were amazed that he knew the tune so well. 

Midnight, you come and pick me up, no headlights

Long drive, could end in burning flames or paradise

Fade into view, oh,

It's been a while since I have even heard from you

(Heard from you)

And I should just tell you to leave 'cause I

Know exactly where it leads but I

Watch it go round and round each time

You took a deep breath closing your eyes and started singing. Your hands went and gripped on to the mike.Tom looked at you in awe. He took his time in admiring the strong and confident woman you have grown into. 

You got that James Dean daydream look in your eye

And I got that red lip, classic thing that you like

And when we go crashing down, we come back every time

'Cause we never go out of style, we never go out of style

You pulled out the mic from the stand raising your voice to a higher octave you sensually strolled in the front brushing your hand below your eye. Going by the lyrics you placed your index finger on your lips giving a subtle wink.

You've got that long hair slick back, white t-shirt

And I got that good girl faith and a tight little skirt

And when we go crashing down, we come back every time

'Cause we never go out of style, we never go out of style

You carded your hair and strolled sideways trailing your hand from your thighs to your hip. You practised your little dance moves.

So it goes, he can't keep his wild eyes on the road

Takes me home, lights are off he's taking off his coat (Hm yeah)

I say "I've heard that you've been out and about with some other girl, some other girl. 

You waltzed towards Tom singing with a smirk on your face. You danced your eyebrows playfully. His eyes fixed on you as he played. 

He says "What you've heard is true but I

Can't stop thinking about you" and I

I said "I've been there too a few times"

You sang scrunching your nose, nodding your head and winked with a glint of mischief in your eyes. 

'Cause you got that James Dean daydream look in your eye

And I got that red lip, classic thing that you like

And when we go crashing down, we come back every time

'Cause we never go out of style, we never go out of style

Your eyes were now focused on him. As you gazed intently into each other's eyes. You felt  a sudden heat rising in your body.

You've got that long hair slick back, white t-shirt

And I got that good girl faith and a tight little skirt (A tight little skirt)

And when we go crashing down, we come back every time

'Cause we never go out of style, we never go out of style

Never batting an eyelash you stared at each other. The microphone and the guitar was the only barrier keeping you both apart. You were brought out of your daze when you heard others coming in. 

“Well played.” You said. 

“All thanks to you. You taught me back then remember?” 

The day went pretty well for you. This was the first time in all the days you have spent here where there is no tension brewing between you two. 

………………

Next day you were excited to go again for your rehearsal and the sole reason was Tom but it didn't happen. 

“You go ahead today, I'll join you later.I have got some calls to make for tomorrow."

“Okay." You left alone in a cab. 

After finalizing everything for tomorrow Tom was about to leave to go to you when El stopped him. 

“Tom we need to talk." 

“Umm El I know after everything happened you despise the fact of me and Y/N interacting with each other. But she's my best friend and you have to make peace  with that." 

“No Tom I'm totally fine and happy that finally you two have decided to sort out everything between yourselves." 

“Then what is the matter El?" he said with concerned eyes. 

"Tom I can't live this life of uncertainty anymore. This ongoing tension between three of us is too much for me to handle. 

You have to choose Tom either it's me or Y/N. You can't ride two boats at the same time." 

"El!?" 

“Yes Tom you have to choose. Either you let go of her or let go of me." 

“I can't El I seriously can't." 

“You love her right?" Tom fell silent. How can he tell his fiancee that he loves someone else. 

“Then what is the problem Tom? Why are you giving up on her so easily?" 

“What about you El? I don't wanna hurt you in this process" 

“You know I love you and after meeting Y/N I learnt what true love is. When you truly love someone there are no expectations, no forced emotions you learn to let go for the sake of their happiness that's what she has been doing all these years and continues to do still now. She loves you Tom even though she's in a state of denial."

"And even if we get married what's the use of pretending to be in love with someone when we aren't? El took off her engagement ring and handed it to Tom. 

"Here take this. It doesn't belong to me anymore" 

"I'm sorry El you don't deserve this." 

"It's okay Tom. Maybe in the near future when I look back at this I'll just laugh it off as how kiddish this whole thing was." Tom's eyes were wet as he gave a tight lipped smile. 

“Just don't screw up this time or I'll kick your ass off if you make my sacrifice go into waste." She chuckled.

“Go get her tiger.And don't forget to invite me to your wedding." 

“I love you El. Thank you so much" he hugged her. 

“Love you too Tom" El kissed him on his cheek. 

"Where are you going by the way from here?" 

“I'm gonna go MIA for a while. The media attention that is going to come after this news breaks out will be huge and I'm not ready to handle that,so you take the heat while I lay low and enjoy." She winked. 

Everyone was surprised to see El all dressed up coming down the stairs Tom behind her with some luggage.

"Hey guys it was fun staying over here, I wish I could stay a little longer but gotta flight to catch" Eleanor went and hugged each one of them.

"Wish Y/N was here" she sighed 

"okay guys goodbye" Eleanor waved and went out of the house. Everyone was puzzled.

“Hey Tom what's with El? Where's she going?" 

“She's leaving Haz." 

“Why!?" 

“We are calling it quits for good Haz."  

"I'm going to see her off and will be back by afternoon" Tom left with El. 

You eagerly waited for Tom the whole time but when he didn't show up you were really upset. You booked a cab while returning home. 

“I have really got an awesome assistant. Like what kind of person he is, he didn't show up for today's session and didn't even bother to call and tomorrow is my event. Where is that twat!?" You grumbled as you entered the house. Not getting any response from anyone you looked around to find a gloomy environment in the house. 

“Guys?? Everything alright?" 

“Eleanor left." Harrison informed.

“What do you mean by Eleanor left? 

“Tom and El have called it quits, the wedding is officially canceled." Harry said. 

“What! Why? Oh god this is all because of me." you face palmed, you felt terrible. 

“This can’t happen where is Tom? I need to talk to him.”

“He has gone to drop her at the airport”

You dragged yourself to your room, sitting on the bed you ran your hands through your hair frustrated. Suddenly your eyes went to the night stand. A letter, your name written on it. You opened it and read it out

“Dear Y/N

When you will get this letter I will be gone by that time. I wouldn't have been able to say this to you in person so I decided to write it down.First of all my hearty apologies for my behavior towards you that day it was rude but I was upset with my life suddenly turning upside down and battling my own demons hope you understand. Y/N I'm not going away because I feel defeated but I finally realize what true love is and you made me realize that thank you Y/N. Please don't blame yourself. I have consciously taken this decision. I know neither you nor Tom will ever try to hurt my feelings. That is why you both have suppressed your feelings for each other even if it caused extreme pain to both of you. I know eventually if we got married Tom would have been a loyal and dutiful husband I have no doubt in that. But I can't live with the guilt that I separated two soul mates. Yes Y/N you both are made for each. So I felt it's better I leave. I have seen the sparkle in Tom's eyes when he sees you, the way his face lightens up, how happy he is around you. You asked me to fill the void in Tom's life but there is no void left to fill Y/N because they are already filled up with the memories of you. Please Y/N take him back in your life and give him another chance, he totally deserves it. I have seen the pain he hides behind that smile. He is still madly in love with you and so are you with him. How much ever you deny I have seen that love in your eyes too. Life has given you another chance don't waste it. And please don't forget to invite me to your wedding. I will be eagerly waiting for the invitation. 

Love 

Eleanor.”

.............................................

Taglist:To be added send me an ask I’ll be happy to add you in the following chapters.

@sleepybesson @sophs-library @spideyparkerstark @itstaskeen @milli86 @biebsmylife95 @quaksonhehe @hannahholland1811 @awhollandx @joyleenl  @greatpizzascissorstaco @tomhollandsotherpinkytoe @jjandreidsgirl @brighterthanthesunx @marvelpeters @panicattheeverywherekid @onewithnomightypowers @itsnotmeh24  @bitchinwpei @astridcommings @prkrholland  @hollandsobrien @timotayswriter @kiki-hines @casualprincess77 @spideyth

[thishazeleyeddemon]

It’s been a while but I am back with more songs (I don’t remeber if I’ve sent some of these so if I have please bear with me)

Don’t start now by dua lipa-is objectively Michael’s song for when a powerless chuck tries to beg his hood grace after Michael gets out of the empty.

Don’t stay- is probably how Adam feels about Michael when they first exit the cage or when he just wants Michael to go out there and discover who he is by himself

Shrike by hozier- is basically Michael just reminiscing about how he failed his relationships could be with Adam or his siblings(archangels) or both

Bet my life by imagine dragons- is objectively about Gabriel and Michael

Angel of small death and codeine scene by hozier- I don’t even think I need to explain this song

Ma belle evangeline from princess and the frog gives me strong Michael thinking about Adam vibes

You mean the world to me by Freya ridings

Already gone by sleeping at last- for either Michael when Adam is snapped or Sam after waking up alone

Heart by sleeping at last it’s cute

And finally your hook and eye and some other Midam rough patch/break up (kind of) fics just make me hear Michael when ever I listen to Omg did she call him baby by Beth McCarthy

This is objectively longer than I wanted it to be but I just had so many I needed to say.

Kacie!! Hi!! I don't have the energy to copypaste the lyrics for all of these but!! Angel Of Small Death is HUGE Midam vibes. Freshly disowned in some frozen devotion No more alone or myself could I be Lurched like a stray to the arms that were open No shortage of sordid, no protest from me LIKE!!! anyway!! thank you for all the songs!! i could make a whole playlist with all of these

[tinngucci]

BLACKPINK MASTER LIST OF SONGS

I only started listening to Blackpink this year, July. In short, I’m a baby Blink, but I’ve caught up with everything. I even learned 11 of their choreographies. I love all of them, but my Bias is Lisa. I love her so much.

Disclaimer: I didn’t include the remixes, the So Hot cover. There’s no point. But I included Jennie’s song just ‘cause I learned the choreo. AND don’t come for me if your favorite songs didn’t rank high or what. This is my personal preference. We all have different tastes. Anyway, let’s get to it.

1. LOVESICK GIRLS - Okay, so Playing With Fire used to be my favorite BP song, but when this came out last Friday, I fell in love. It easily beat out PWF just like that. I love the sound of it. I love the synths. It’s got a beautiful chorus. I can dance to it, I can relate to it. I just love everything about it. 10/10. Hopefully, they make more songs like this in the future.

2. PLAYING WITH FIRE - I’m sorry you had to go down to number 2, you beautiful queen. Ah, what an underrated song. It’s ahead of its time, really. People be sleeping on this song when this song actually is a BOP. The choreography is everything.

3. AS IF IT’S YOUR LAST - I don’t trust anyone that hates this song. The chorus is everything!!! It puts me in a good mood every time I listen to this song.

4. LOVE TO HATE ME - I know a lot of people don’t like this song. WEIRD. It’s so catchy! I don’t know why but when I heard the “Negative days, negative nights...” line, I thought of Panic! At The Disco. I felt like that line is something Brendon would sing. Anyway, that doesn’t make sense, I know. Now, let’s talk about Lisa’s rap in this because it’s AMAZING. Blew me out of my existence. Her best rap, for sure.

5. KICK IT - Okay, I feel like I have to explain this ‘cause not a lot of people like this song. When I first heard it, I didn’t like it. It was a skip at the time. But when I watched videos of it live, it sounded amazing. And when I listened to it again, something hit me. It’s actually a BOP. Rose’s part, “And I’m letting it all out...” I die every time I hear it. There’s something about this song that makes me think of my friends and our happy times together. Maybe it’s just me. Stop sleeping on this song!

6. FOREVER YOUNG - One of my favorite choreographies! It’s up there with PWF, AIIYL and Whistle. It’s just as happy-ass song. I love that. A bop. And I could imagine myself watching it live and just letting loose, having fun, and dancing of course.

7. PRETTY SAVAGE - This song grew on me. I didn’t like it at first. I thought it was generic. But then after a few listens, I realized how powerful the song is. I can see myself dancing to it. The song itself is pretty savage.

8. WHISTLE - If you looked at my old list, Whistle ranked low. I couldn’t give a crap about this song before. But when I learned the choreo, I appreciated it more. I live for it now. A total queen!

9. KISS AND MAKEUP - Obviously, this is my favorite collab. I love Dua Lipa. She’s my girl. Maybe that’s why I love it. It’s pretty generic, yes, but I love how feel-good it is. My inner hoe comes out when I’m listening to this. And it’s sad that we didn’t get a music video. That wouldn’t been epic.

10. SOUR CANDY - Another song I didn’t appreciate enough before. Queens singing together. I wish it was longer though. And where is the music video!!!

11. YOU NEVER KNOW - Beautiful. Just beautiful. Jisoo went off. Stay’s got nothing on this. Although it’s not that slow of song, it’s the kind of song that I like. I really want to see them sing this live. It’d be emotional for sure.

12. DDU-DU DDU-DU - Definitely the superior one out of its sisters, KTL and HYLT. I love to dance to it, but it’s not necessarily something that I would listen to on a regular basis. But it’s such an iconic song for them. I don’t want to disrespect a queen that broke records.

13. BOOMBAYAH - The queen that started it all! This song just makes you wanna dance and party. But again, it’s not something that I would listen to on a regular basis.

14. HOW YOU LIKE THAT - The era that made me a Blink. This was on my Top 5 before! I just got tired of listening to it over and over. I realized that the only thing I like about it is the beat drop, the chorus. The verses are not really strong. Lisa’s rap is refreshing though. *I’m not being biased.*

15. KILL THIS LOVE - Honestly, I couldn’t decide between this and HYLT. The only edge of HYLT is that it’s more on the hip-hop side, which I like. But Kill This Love is such a powerful-ass song, but I got tired of it too. They should move on from this formula and start singing full choruses more and not rely on beat drops and outro dance breaks,

16. REALLY - It’s just a really cute song. That’s about it. Nothing special.

17. CRAZY OVER YOU - Okay, I hated this when I first listened to it. What was that intro??? But you know what, maybe I’ll like it more once they start performing it live. That outro is fire!!! I have a feeling this song would grow on me soon. We’ll see.

18. BET YOU WANNA - I thought this was gonna rank higher. I loved it when I first heard it. I thought it was amazing. The part that goes “Something 'bout me's taking you higher” is honestly the best part of the song. Rose’s high notes. Girl gave me a heart attack. But that’s about it. The rest of the song is weak. Cardi B’s part, I’m not about it. A miss for me. This should’ve been more iconic. They should’ve included a rap battle! UGH!

19. SEE U LATER - I wish this song had a different chorus. It just didn’t match the vibe of the song. That intro is amazing! What happened there? Oh, the chorus happened...

20. SOLO - It’s a good song. It’s just whatever, you know? But Jennie be killing me sometimes. Excuse me, ma’am, you are HOT. 

21. STAY - Don’t get me wrong, it’s a beautiful song. I just don’t connect to it, that’s all.

22. ICE CREAM - I don’t like this song that much. Yes, it’s cute and all, but it’s not for me. The only edge it has is the “na-na-na-na-na” part at the end because it’s cute af! And the choreo is cute too. It was harder than I expected. A+ rapping for my girl, though.

23. DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO - This song used to rank higher on my previous list. It has no edge whatsoever. The chorus is messy in my opinion. The choreo is hard af though, especially the chorus.

24. HOPE NOT - Aw! I didn’t want to put this last because it’s a beautiful song, but I just prefer the more upbeat songs. And it’s forgettable.

[thegreatestofheck]

Outer Banks Playlist

Here is a cohesive list of songs I listen to usually when I write my fics/blurbs/etc! These are all the songs that aren’t a part of the official playlist that make me think of the show in general, the pogues, a certain character, or a certain fic. 

Enjoy!

Electric Love by BΦRNS - baby you’re like lightning in a bottle, i can’t let it go now that i’ve got it

I’m not sure what it is about this song, but it was the first one I put on this playlist. There’s just something about it that really screams “relationship with JJ Maybank” to me, but don’t ask me what.

If We Have Each Other by Alec Benjamin - i’ll be your brother and i’ll hold your hand, you should know i’ll be there for you

I get major pogue vibes from this song. It doesn’t matter that they’re not family by blood, they will always stick by each other no matter what. They’re there for each other through the thick and the thin. 

We Are Young by fun. and Janelle Monae - tonight, we are young, so let’s set the world on fire, we can burn brighter than the sun

Another very pogue style song. They are young and they are free and they’re living it up. The Pogues and this song are very “you’re here for a good time, not a long time”. 

Royals by Lorde - and we’ll never be royals, it don’t run in our blood, that kind of lux just ain’t for us, we crave a different kind of buzz

Probably guessing a theme here now, but this is the pogues through and through. I mean, the entire time they’re looking for the gold, most of their thinking is about “going full kook”, living that fantasy.

Let it Ride by AUTOMATIC LOVELETTER - take me away, let’s get out of this town, run baby run, we’re unstoppable now

This song has always hit home with me, especially when it comes to kids and a found family situation, which is the Pogues. Just listen to it and I think you’ll understand. It’s so amazing. 

Already Gone by Sleeping at Last - you couldn’t have loved me better, i want you to move on, cause i’m already gone

If I tell you why exactly I put this one on here, it would be a spoiler for one of my longer fics, so I’ll just leave it to your imagination. Sleeping at Last > Kelly Clarkson, at least with this song. 

Hello by Walk of the Earth - there’s such a difference between us and a million miles

This version is a lot more bitter than Adele’s version, so I think it really fits here with all the kids who were disappointed by their parents. JJ with Luke, John B with his mom and Dad, Sarah and Rafe with their mom, Ward, and Rose. Also just with like 90% of the adults in the entire series just constantly failing these kids, I feel like this version kinda flowed with that. Also kinda makes me think about Elma from “Ocean and Alcohol” and her relationship with her mom. 

On Top of the World by Imagine Dragons - paying my dues to the dirt, i’ve been waiting to smile, been holding it in for a while. 

Another Pogue song. They deserve so much better than what they got and this is for all those little victories; finding the gold, surviving the boat crash, getting the keys to the Phantom, etc. 

IDGAF by Dua Lipa - go find a girl who wants to listen, cause if you think i was born yesterday you have got me wrong

This one is mostly for Sarah and Kie, who are constantly being put down by others. Not so much the Pogues, but in that Midsummer’s episode where Kie’s mom tells her not to worry about the socioeconomics of the world when her complaints were legit. Or how Rafe, Ward, and Topper were constantly berating Sarah for her feelings. This is for them.  

Kiss Me Deadly by Lita Ford - late to my job and the traffic was bad, had to borrow ten bucks from my old man, it ain’t no big thing

You can’t convince me that the Pogues don’t blast this song in the van while their cruising down the streets. I love this song. 

Renegade by Styx - oh mama i’m in fear for my life from the long arm of the law, hang man is coming down from the gallows and i don’t have very long

The entire last two episodes, this was the only song I could think of. John B just exudes the energy of this song. 

Warriors by Imagine Dragons - as a child you would wait and watch from far away, but you always knew that you’d be the one to work while they all played

This one is for everyone on the cut; the Pogues, Heyward, Big John, Ms. Lana. They were the ones who kept Kildare running. The fishermen, the mechanic, the laypeople. They built that island from their blood, their sweat, and their tears. 

Run Boy Run by Woodkid - run boy run, they’re trying to catch you, run boy run, running is a victory

Here’s another one for John B is those last two episodes. Was I stressed out a singing songs to myself when i watched them the first time. Maybe so. 

Glitter and Gold by Barns Courtney - i am flesh and i am bone, i’ll rise, ting ting, like glitter and gold, i’ve got fire in my soul

Again, I’m not 100% sure why, but this gives me the vibes of outer banks. Maybe I just really like this song and associate it with everything. Maybe it’s because it has gold in the title. Who knows. 

Why Did it Have to Be Me? by ABBA - you were looking for someone to hold, that’s only natural, by why did it have to be me?

If you thought you were making it out of here without a single ABBA song you were dead wrong. ABBA is one of my favorite bands and they just fit with everything. There aren’t specific characters for this song, but I think it still works for the show. 

Lay All Your Love on Me by ABBA - i still don’t know what you’re done to me, a grown up woman should never fall in love so easily 

Sarah and John B, Kie and Pope, Kie and JJ, the viewers and Rafe, i don’t care, take your pick. This song works for everyone all the time because, again, it’s ABBA. Love them. Love this song. 

I’m Still Standing by Elton John - looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid, i’m still standing after all this time

This one just gives me so many feelings when I think about it with literally any of the kids. They’re put through so much crap, all of them, and yet there they are, standing and standing together. I mean, come on. Especially with John B’s speech to Ward in the finally episode. It’s just *chef’s kiss* Also Elton John is a legend. 

Stand By You by Rachel Platten - hands, put your empty hands in mine, scars, show me all the scars you hide and hey, if your wings are broken, please take mine so yours can open too

Again, this one applies to so many places, but specifically the hot tub scene in episode 7. Even thought the Pogues have some issues sometimes, they are almost always 100% there for each other and that’s what this song is about. 

Run the World (Girls) by Beyonce - smart enough to make these millions, strong enough to bare the children, then get back to business. 

I honestly cannot think of a woman in Outer Banks who was not iconic. Kie: a social justice queen who cared so deeply for her friends, the environment, and others. Sarah: a girl who understood her privilege and tried to use it to help others. Peterkin: a boss bitch who figured everything out before anyone else. Wheezie: an iconic little sister who was in a toxic household but was still the most chaotic queen ever. Kie’s Mom: misguided sometimes, but she just wanted what was best for her baby girl. Pope’s Mom: IRONED HER SON’S CLOTHES EVEN THOUGH SHE DIDN’T KNOW IF HE WAS COMING HOME, also wanted what was best for Pope (and also JJ). Ms. Lana: lost her husband, had her home broken into and still confessed about Scooter and Ward when it was most important. Rose: was she evil, heck yeah. Was she the smartest character on the show? Probably. That girl knew just when to use the right words and who to manipulate when. Congrats queen, you’re crazy but you have the most brain cells. Mrs. Craine: Killed her husband and got away with it! I’d like to see Ward try that. Anyway, point is, this show is full of boss women and I love them all. 

Uprising by Muse - they will not force us, they will stop degrading us, they will not control us, we will be victorious 

So, maybe season one didn’t end in the best way for the Pogues. Still, they were thisclose to beating the system that screwed them all constantly. And I have faith that things will go even better for them later. I just...this song makes me feel like toppling a government or a psychopath rich man so I added it. 

There are more, but these are the ones that hit me the most! If you want to see more, just let me know. And, as always 

stay safe

stay healthy

stay groovy

[vaderiisms-archived]

30 Questions

Tagged by: @haydens-moles 

1. Name/Nickname: Lisa and my nicknames are Baby Girl, Darth Mittens, Elsaquin, Anna, Annaquin, Buttercup, Zelena, Luna, Alice, Little Bunny Foo Foo, Punky, Harley, Lou Lou, Juliet/Jules, and Perry the Platypus.

2. Gender: Female

3. Star sign: Libra/Scorpio Rising/Aquarius Moon/Goat

4. Height: 5′1

5. Time: 7:30 am

6. Birthday: October 2nd

7. Favorite bands: Queen, Green Day, The Birthday Massacre, Blackpink, AFI, Blaqk Audio, Joan Jett & the Blackhearts, The Runaways, Abba, My Chemical Romance, HIM, The Traveling Wilburys, No Doubt, Depeche Mode, Pearl Jam, Stone Temple Pilots, The Beatles, Led Zeppelin, SWV, Black Sabbath, TLC, Black Veil Brides, New Years Day, Evanescence, AC/DC, Paramore, The Rolling Stones, Journey, Nirvana, Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, Soundgarden, Marilyn Manson, The Ramones, Van Halen, Aerosmith, Guns N Roses, Bon Jovi, The Police, Motley Crue, Metallica, Heart, Fleetwood Mac, Ayria, Duran Duran, The Who, Pink Floyd, Sex Pistols, Godsmack, The Chicks, Beastie Boys, Salt N Pepa, Run DMC, Creedence Clearwater Revival, Blondie, Alice In Chains, Genesis, Cradle of Filth, The Doors, Otep, KISS, The Cranberries, System Of A Down, Nine Inch Nails, and many more. I went a little overboard. I should have just listed a few but it’s too late, lol. I’m cutting this off now so it doesn’t get any longer.

8. Favorite solo artists: Bob Dylan, Madonna, Lady Gaga, Jonathan Groff, Ozzy Osbourne, Ava Max, 2 Pac, Charli XCX, Taylor Swift, Gwen Stefani, Brad Paisley, Michael Jackson, Kelly Clarkson, Rihanna, Steve Perry, Adam Lambert, Iggy Azalea, Billie Eilish, Tove Lo, Idina Menzel, Patsy Cline, Ariana Grande, Eminem, Cardi B, Mariah Carey, Ellie Goulding, Britney Spears, Cyndi Lauper, P!nk, Alice Cooper, Justin Timberlake, Marshmello, Bruno Mars, Dua Lipa, Post Malone, Billy Idol, George Michael, Prince, Nicki Minaj, Katy Perry, Jewel, David Bowie, Sting, Phil Collins, Peter Gabriel, Harry Belafonte, Elton John, Billy Joel, Garth Brooks, Pat Benatar, Loretta Lynn, Conway Twitty, Jimi Hendrix, Brenda Lee, Connie Francis, LeAnn Rimes, Elvis Presley, Stevie Nicks, and many more. And once again I went overboard with the list, lol. I’m cutting it off now. 

9. Song stuck in your head: DDu-Du DDu-Du by Blackpink

10. Last Movie: Wonder Woman 1984

11. Last Show: I just got HBO Max so I’ve been rewatching The O.C. because I needed a Summer Roberts fix! Lol. 

12. When did I create this blog: February 2016

13. What I post: I post RP threads, RP memes, stuff about Anakin/Vader, and just anything Star Wars related really (mostly prequel stuff).

14. Last thing I googled: How to cast HBO Max on Vizio Smart TV

15. Other blogs: 

Ahsoka Tano - @ahsokathewise

I have a few other pages that are inactive at the moment. Here they are...if you want to do anything with them let me know.

King George III - @this-is-your-king​

Jacob Skywalker (OC) - @overpaidprophet 

Poe Dameron - @helluvapilct

James Norrington - jamesnorringtxn 

Enola Holmes - choosingmyowndestiny 

16. Do I get asks: Yes I do.

17. Why I chose my URL: I think that’s pretty self explanatory, lol.

18. Following: 1, 096

19. Followers: 452

20. Average hours of sleep: Not enough, lol. Sometimes I get 3 hours, sometimes more. It fluctuates depending on my mood.

21. Lucky number: 11 and 13

22. Instruments: Guitar and keyboard

23. What I’m wearing: Return of the Jedi t-shirt, blue flannel shirt, owl pajama pants, socks, and Beetlejuice slippers.

24. Dream job: Singer/Songwriter like Bob Dylan.

25. Dream trip: Every Disney park around the world and Cairo. 

26. Favorite food: Chinese and pizza.

27. Nationality: Cherokee Indian, Blackfoot Indian, Irish, German, British, Dutch, Polish. 

28: Favorite song: My favorite song of all-time is Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen and my current favorite song is Sour Candy by Lady Gaga and Blackpink.

29. Last book: Conceal, Don’t Feel by Jen Calonita 

30. Top 3 fictional universes I wanna live in: Wonderland, Oz, and I always wanted to live on Endor so I could be around the Ewoks, lol.

Tagging: @ahsokaxashlaxtano @xscamanderbrothersx @queenofthesenate @kylo-wrecked @starlight-pilot @becamealegend @lastxdragon @flawedheroines​ @classifiedxrey​ @onehell-of-apilot​ @tornbetweenthestorm​ @poewingsdameron​ @congeriemgriseo​ @chromium-siren​ @rcfekjwtaardby​ @thesarcasmofasoldier​ @fantasies-and-fairy-tales​ @libertywept​ @painticblack​ @ask-fawnflight-of-riverclan​

[hermesmaximoff]

New Rules

▶ abstract bucky decides  to change the set up a little

▶ word count 1k with lyrics

▶ warning just some badass power moves

▶ pairing violinist!bucky x fem!reader, string band!au, past brock x reader 

▶ a/n for @tilltheendwilliwrite​‘s 7.7k follower (covid sucks) writing challenge. my prompt was new rules by dua lipa. i got the inspiration from this post and then came across this, and thus, this fic was born.

     It was packed. Word had spread since their last showing. Something about string covers of popular songs caught people’s attention. She could understand, string instruments were gorgeous and the people playing them we’re even more so. Talk had spread about her voice too. The owner of the small club was pleased, knowing the extra foot traffic was due to the four of them.

    There was a break between songs, allowing everyone on stage to take a breather and drink some water. She was in the midst of talking to Bucky when she noticed his gaze drawn elsewhere, eyebrows furrowing together and pupils narrowing. 

    Her hand went to rest on his shoulder and he looked to her, facial features softening, “What’s up?” 

    “Do you trust me?” 

    “Jamie-” 

    “Do you trust me?” His voice was firmer, there was little room for questions.

     A deep breath and a short nod, “I trust you.” He smiled, walking back to his chair and beckoned her over. With a raised eyebrow, she removed the microphone from the stand and walked over. He was quick to wrap an arm around her waist and pull her down into his lap, the cool satin of her top pressing against her skin. 

    Natasha and Sam returned to their places, placing their waters down next to their respective stools. Bucky started the first few notes, Natasha and Sam recognizing the notes and joining in. It took her longer to recognize the song. It was any of the ones they had lined up tonight, but rather one they'd only recently started practicing. 

    She glanced over her shoulder, eyebrows pulled together. With a smile, Bucky nodded, encouraging her to go along with it. She would have to start singing soon, her cue was coming up. She didn't know if she could, they hadn't practiced it-

    A nudge from Bucky and she realized she needed to sing.     Talkin in my sleep at night, makin’ myself crazy     Out of my mind, out of my mind     Wrote it down and read it out, hopin' it would save me     Too many times, too many times     My love, he makes me feel like nobody else, nobody else     But my love, he doesn't love me, so I tell myself, I tell myself

    Looking at the crowd, she could see they were enjoying the song and she smiled. Scanning the crowd, she realized why Bucky had chosen this song.

    One: don't pick up the phone.     You know he's only callin' 'cause he's drunk and alone     Two: Don't let him in     You'll have to kick him out again.     Three: don't be his friend     You know you're gonna wake up in his bed in the morning     And if you’re under him, you ain’t getting over him

    She started stomping her foot on the ground to the beat, her friends joining in. It wasn’t long before everyone seemed to be clapping with the beat. A glance over her shoulder showed her the smiles on her friend’s face, and the beaming adoration of Bucky. 

   I got new rules, I count ��em    I got new rules, I count ‘em    I gotta tell them to myself    I got new rules, I count ‘em    I gotta tell them to myself    I keep pushin’ forwards, but he keeps pullin’ me backward    Nowhere to turn, no way, nowhere to turn, no    Now I’m standin’ back from it, I finally see the pattern    I never learn, (I never learn)    But my love (my love), he doesn’t love me    So I tell myself, I tell myself    I do, I do, I do

    Sam was back up vocals, something that the group had debated for several days. Ultimately they decided the contrast in vocals sounded better. 

    One: Don’t pick up the phone     You know he’s only callin’ ‘cause he’s drunk and along     Two: Don’t let him in     You’ll have to kick him out again     Three: Don’t be his friend     You know you’re gonna wake up in his bed in the morning     And if you’re under him, you ain’t gettin’ over him     I got new rules, I count ‘em     I got new rules, I count ‘em     I gotta tell them to myself     I got new rules, I count ‘em      I gotta tell them to myself

    Bucky stopped playing for a few seconds so she could get up and walk to the front of the stage, feet hitting the ground on beat. The crowd was loving it and she couldn't help the smile that grew on her face. She’d never guessed that they’d be this popular.

    Practice makes perfect      I’m still tryna learn it by heart (I got new rules, I coin ‘em)     Eat, sleep, and breathe it     Rehearse and repeat it, ‘cause I (I got new)     One: Don’t pick up the phone (yeah)     You know he’s only callin’ ‘cause he’s drunk and alone (alone)     Two: Don’t let him in (uh-ooh)     You’ll have to kick him out again (again)     Three: Don’t be his friend     You know you’re gonna wake up in his bed in the morning     And if you’re under him, you ain’t gettin’ over him

    I got new rules, I count ‘me     I got new rules, I count ‘em     (Whoa-ooh, whoa-ooh, whoa)     I gotta tell them to myself      I got new rules, I count ‘em      (Baby, you know I count ‘em)      I gotta tell them to myself 

    Don’t let him in, don’t let him in     Don’t, don’t, don’t, don’t      Don’t be his friend, don’t be his friend     Don’t, don’t, don’t, don’t     Don’t let him in, don’t let him in     Don’t, don’t, don’t, don’t      Don’t be his friend, don’t be his friend     Don’t, don’t, don’t, don’t

    You’re gettin’ over him

     The song ended and she put the mic back in its spot, taking a step back. The cheering of the crowd drowned out the sound of her heart beating.

     Arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her close as she made eye contact with him in the crowd. She smirked as Bucky pressed a kiss to her cheek, he got the message. He knew. 

     She had new rules.

thank you for reading and let me know what you think! i had a lot of fun with this one! a reblog always helps as well, and does more than a like! (though they are also appreciated)

like the dividers? find them at @whimsicalrogers​!

[messrprcngs]

DREAMS.

BASED ON the song dreams by dua lipa SUMMARY : robin knows that the likelihood of finding a girlfriend in a small town like hawkins is slim-to-none, and that any girl she likes is more likely to call her a creep than reciprocate her affections. robin knows this, and yet it doesn’t stop her from having romantic dreams about her friend y/n l/n, much to her dismay. PAIRING : robin buckley x female!reader WARNINGS : slight angst, cursing, plenty of pinning and longing. y’all should be used to this by now WORD COUNT : 2525 with lyrics, 2413 without lyrics A/N : i’ve had this in my drafts for so long and never finished it until now. also, for any nonbinary readers : i am so sorry that i have no oneshots that are explicitly gender neutral all the way through please forgive me i promise that i will make it up to you.

robin peaked out from scoops ahoy's kitchen to get a look at the line.

shit, she thought. there, third from the front, was y/n.

robin had known it was her as soon as she'd heard her tinkling laugh; she'd know that laugh anywhere. she'd been hoping against hope that it wasn't her, but apparently luck was not on her side today, because there was y/n in all her ethereal beauty.

she can’t be here today! not today! why today?

last night my fantasies became oh-so true you said you wanted me as much as i want you if i said it hadn't crossed my mind then oh baby, i'd be lying it just got complicated, i don't know what to do

seeing y/n in scoops ahoy wouldn’t have been so much of a problem if it wasn’t for the dream robin had had the previous night. the dream about her.

in the dream, y/n had told her that she was in love with her, despite what she knew everyone else would say about it, and that she wanted to be with her. really be with her, with all the mushy cheek kisses and hand-holding crap that robin typically hated. and dream-robin had been eating that shit up; boy, had she been eating it up.

robin had thought about y/n like that before, sure - would even go so far as to say that she had a crush on the girl - but had never felt for her as powerfully as she did in that dream. had never felt so full of hopeless longing for her that she was ready to burst. had never felt the way she’d felt for tammy thompson for anyone else since graduating.

she’d been unprepared, then, for the slew of emotions that startled her awake, and was even more unprepared to see y/n today. seeing her made things complicated - more complicated than they already were - and robin didn’t think she could handle that.

can i get it like that, that, that ? lemme know ‘cause i really like that, that, that when you go and i know it’s not real, but the way that i feel i just need to know ( know, know, know )

she knew so very well that it had just been a dream, that it wasn't real, and that y/n was the kind of girl that attracted - and was attracted to - guys. the kind of girl who didn’t like girls the way robin did.

but that didn’t stop robin from wanting her with the entirety of her being. she wanted someone as kind, as curious, as intelligent, as beautiful - both inside and out - as y/n was.

and even though it had been a dream, robin desperately wanted what y/n had said in that dream to have been true.

realizing that she had been staring, robin pulled her head out of sight quickly. god, she hoped no one had seen her staring, because what would they say about her then, if anyone’d seen her looking at y/n the way she had been? very unfriendly and anti-gay things, robin was sure of it.

falling against the wall next to the kitchen door, robin let herself replay the dream from the previous night in her head. god, it really had been a wonderful dream . . .

in my dreams you'd say you need me, believe me in my dreams you'd say you love me, say you'll never leave my dreams in my dreams

robin had been asleep for at least a good hour and a half when she heard the click, click, click on the glass of her bedroom window. her hearing was still fuzzy from sleep, but somehow she knew exactly what the sound that had woken her was.

she sat up and pushed her covers off with a grumble, eyes still half-lidded. her feet touched her bedroom floor, and in less than a second robin was standing in front of her window, which was funny, seeing as she didn’t recall taking any steps.

she rubbed the sleep from her eyes with her left hand so that she could properly see, while her right reached up to push the curtain to the side. robin blinked her eyes open when she was through and looked out into the darkness of the night. 

her eyes bugged out of her head when she saw y/n standing on the grass beneath her window, hand full of pebbles from the neighbors’ yard, sporting a smile that was somehow shy and devilish all in one.

she had clearly seen robin pull the curtain open, judging by the look on her face, but she didn’t seem to care enough to stop the next pebble - it hit robin’s window with a soft click.

cursing under her breath and not bothering to dwell on the fact that she was pretty sure y/n had no clue where she lived, robin pushed the window up as quietly as she could and stuck her head out to glare down at the girl below her.

"y/n?" robin whisper-shouted, trying her best not to wake up her parents. "what the hell are you doing here? it's 1:30 in the morning!" she hadn’t checked the time when she’d gotten out of bed, but somehow she knew that that was the correct time.

y/n just continued to grin up at her. the pebbles were no longer in her hand. y/n raised her eyebrows in a clear question, and robin felt something in her gut pulling her towards her closet.

she let it drag her there, and opened the closet door to find a rope ladder she didn’t remember having piled on the floor.

in the blink of an eye robin was back by the window, opening it all the way and throwing the rope ladder down to y/n. it was almost as if y/n hadn’t had to climb at all, because by robin’s next blink she was at the top of the rope ladder, grinning at her from outside.

“hey robin,” y/n said softly as she climbed though the window. her grin had softened now; she looked more like the y/n robin was used to. she found herself relaxing.

instead of greeting her as well, robin grumbled, “you didn’t answer my question.”

“what question?”

robin rolled her eyes. “the ‘what are you doing here?’ question, dingus,” she said.

“oh, that,” y/n replied. a tinkling laugh that sent shivers up robin’s spine followed. “i came here tonight to tell you something," she said, stepping closer.

robin gulped, and though she wanted to look down at the floor to avoid eye contact, it was like her eyes were glued to y/n; she was unable to take them off of her, no matter how hard she tried. she was frozen in place, with nothing to do but watch the pretty girl in front of her.

“o-oh?” she asked, voice catching in her throat. she mentally cursed herself and her inability to keep it cool.

“yeah,” came y/n’s reply, voice barely above a whisper. she was getting ever closer, though it was taking much longer than robin knew it should have; time was very, very wonky.

but then she blinked, and there was y/n, standing so close to her that they were sharing breath.

"and what is it you came to tell me, n/n?" robin sounded just as breathless as she felt. she glanced from y/n’s eyes down to her lips and back up again. "what's so important that you couldn't wait 'til tomorrow to tell me?"

y/n was silent for a long, drawn out moment, and a sick feeling began to gnaw  away at robin’s stomach. she knew that if y/n didn't tell her whatever it was soon, she probably never would, and she would miss out on something great.

“i came to tell you that i need you,” y/n breathed, and robin felt her head begin to spin.

robin was astonished. “what?” she croaked, voice catching on the vowel. she hadn’t been expecting y/n to say that. “what do you mean, you need me?”

“i mean exactly what i said. i need you robin.” robin’s eyes were frozen on y/n’s, and she watched as y/n’s gaze flickered down to her lips for a brief moment before meeting hers again. “i need you so, so much.”

“i don’t understand,” robin replied, and the thinness of her own voice surprised her. she was vaguely aware that head was beginning to hurt, too; a dull, barely-there throb at the base of her neck. y/n was blurring at the edges now, as if robin’s vision was sliding in and out of focus.

“i’m in love with you.”

robin sucked in a quick, sharp breath at that. her head was pounding now, and her blood was rushing in her ears. “i - what?”

y/n rolled her eyes. she would’ve looked exasperated if it wasn’t for the fond smirk that graced her lips. in a flash, y/n was standing impossibly closer, and robin had just enough time to wonder why her soft palm was cupping her cheek before she kissed her.

robin didn’t even remember closing her eyes, but the next thing she knew, light was exploding behind her eyelids, and a pleasant warm, fuzzy feeling was crawling it’s way up and settling itself in her belly. kissing y/n was nice. she tasted like lemon and cherry, and her lips were cool and soft against robin’s, which were warm and chapped.

just as robin was beginning to melt into the kiss, though, a loud crash sounded from somewhere down the hall from her room. robin jumped away from y/n, turning to stare at her closed door. her previously fuzzy eyesight had cleared up, and she could see her door in stunning clarity. it was almost too clear.

“i should probably go,” y/n said, and robin whipped back around to face her.

“what? why?”

“because i don’t want to get you in trouble with your parents for having a friend sneak over in the middle of the night, and i don’t want my parents figuring out i’m gone.”

robin knew that this was logical, but couldn’t stop herself from blurting out, “friend?”

y/n’s eyebrows drew together in confusion for a moment, and then a look of realization passed over her face and she laughed softly. “you think i meant we’re just friends, hmm?”

robin nodded dumbly. her vision was blurring at the edges again.

“i meant that that’s what they’ll think if they catch me in here. they’ll think we’re just friends. we’re not just friends, robin. i kissed you, after all, didn’t i?”

again, robin nodded. she blinked, once, twice, and then they were in front of her window. y/n crawled out onto her roof legs first, and when it was just her upper half that was left to go through the window, y/n propped herself up on the window sill with her elbows. “don’t i get a goodbye kiss?” she asked, and robin smiled.

she leaned down, and just as their lips brushed, robin was startled awake.

robin shuddered. fuck, that dream sent chills up her spine in the best possible way, even if parts of it hadn’t been at all realistic.

she wanted to be able to hold y/n like dream robin had. why couldn’t she hold y/n the way dream robin had?

because y/n doesn’t like girls, she answered herself, and robin sighed. the world was so unfair.

she was startled out of her thoughts upon hearing steve’s loud, overly cheerful voice greeting another very special customer.

“y/n!” she heard steve say. “what, couldn’t stay away from your favorite ice cream scooper?”

“oh yeah,” came y/n’s reply, “i love the little metal guy you use to scoop up people’s ice cream, steve. where is he?”

robin’s face split into a grin, and imagined steve’s cocky smile sliding right off his face, replaced by a straight mouth and narrowed eyes as clearly as if she were watching it happen.

“haha,” steve said humorlessly. “very funny.”

and there was that goddamn laugh again, light and beautiful. “i always am, steven.”

“don’t call me that,” he grumbled back. “just give me your damn order, y/n.”

robin didn’t have to listen to know what she would say; she had served y/n enough time to know her usual by heart.

it was quiet out front, save for the ceaseless mall-chatter, until steve said something that made robin’s stomach drop down into her feet.

“hey,” he said, and his voice was softer now than it normally was. “would you wanna, i dunno . . . go see a movie with me sometime?”

robin nearly choked on her own spit. was steve really asking y/n out?

it appeared that he was, and y/n was fucking laughing again, so fucking sweet and fucking perfect, and not fucking because of her. despite her gut telling her not to, robin peaked her head back out of the kitchen and watched, horrified, as y/n smiled her big, perfect smile at steve.

“what, you mean like on a date?” she asked, and her voice was as sweet as ever. as sick as robin felt, she couldn’t tear her eyes away from the nightmare that was playing out in front of her.

“yeah,” steve replied, looking down awkwardly at the ice cream he was holding. “if you wanna. you don’t . . . er, you don’t have to. you know - you know what, just forget i -”

y/n cut him off. “i’d be happy to go see a movie with you, steve.”

steve’s head snapped back up so fast that a pang shot through the back of robin’s neck. “really?” his voice jumped up an octave at the end. he cleared his throat. “i mean, cool. cool, cool, cool.”

though robin could hardly see his face from the angle she was at, she could just see one corner of his mouth turned up in a small smile, and felt a pang in her chest. y/n was making him so happy.

as if just remembering the ice cream he was holding, steve swore under his breath and handed it to y/n, then reached behind the counter and grabbed a pile of napkins, which he handed to her as well. she took them both gratefully, and while she may have imagined it, robin was sure that y/n had let her hand rest against steve’s for a second longer than was normal.

“thanks for the ice cream, stevie,” she said, eyes big an innocent.

“n-no problem, y/n.”

she smiled sweetly at him and waved. “bye, steve!”

“bye, y/n! see you - see you later!”

y/n turned and walked away from the counter, and robin watched her as she left the store, heart thumping heavily. she knew it. she knew it. she knew she had no chance with y/n. she had even less of a chance now that steve had asked her out. robin didn’t stand a chance against steve. she didn’t stand a chance against any boy that wanted to ask y/n out, really. because girls like y/n didn’t like girls the way that robin did.

[harryandmolly]

Complicit // 4

summary: Shawn is under more pressure than he’s ever known. He craves release and comfort, the simplicity of sex. He gets more than he bargained for.

warnings: language, NSFW (good & rough, babies), my self control has truly gone up in smoke

WC: 6.8k

-----------

Shawn shifts, his eyelids tightening against the morning sun even through the drawn gauzy curtains. He’s aware now, but barely. He’d rather not be. The sleep he gets after a night with her is maybe even more addictive than the date itself. He’s sure it’s because she wears him out so thoroughly.

He’s lying on his stomach, his cheek turned, pressed into the silk sheets provided by the little Malibu beachside inn the agency booked for them. If he keeps his eyes shut he can concentrate on the sound of waves lapping at the shore of Point Dume. 

He grumbles. He can’t hear them. He can hear her shuffling around instead. He slowly opens his cloudy dark eyes to assess, lifting his head to find her.

Penny has a pretty strict policy about mornings after dates. Sticking around sets a dangerous precedent. The morning after, it’s all messy hair and morning breath and sleepy eyes and sore, tired muscles -- vulnerability at its most beautiful and most human. It’s not professional, so it’s not safe. That time, that kind of exposure, is to be minimized.

Penny’s already in leggings and a sports bra, typing on her phone with one hand and holding an Outdoor Voices hoodie in the other. She hears him and looks over with a sleepy smile.

“Hi there,” she whispers. Her voice is smooth. It makes his eyes flutter as he thinks about how her skin felt last night.

He just smiles in response.

Her lips curl in a wry grin. “That’s a very happy face you’re making.”

He wonders if he’s really beyond embarrassment with her now. He stretches like a cat and feels his body resist, then give in. He groans deeply, heavily. It’s music to her ears.

“That’s cause you’re a fucking miracle worker.”

When he says shit like this, Penny wants to crawl back on top of him and make him come a few more times. But she knows he’s tired. He worked hard for her. She perches beside him, ankles crossed delicately, and runs a hand down his naked back, admiring.

“You make it easy, baby,” she assures him. Her smile is placid. It turns a little devilish when she cups his ass cheek through the sheet and gives it a squeeze. Shawn squirms gently and smiles.

“I have to go. Gus will be by in half an hour to pick you up and bring you back to your car.”

Beneath her hand, Shawn rolls over. His cheeks have pillow marks and sport a hearty morning flush. His curls are wild from her fingers and his own. She swallows and leaves her hand where it’s fallen, brushing his lower ribs.

He closes his eyes. “I’m leaving for the festival run.”

She nods and keeps her eyes on his chest hair, waiting for him to give the little break up speech she’s used to.

It’s not really a break up, of course. It’s more like an awkward firing. A “hey… you’ve been great but your services are no longer required, thanks!” It’s ok. It means she’s done some good. She can see in every move of his soft, sore muscles that she’s eased most of his tension away. He’ll go into a long, hot, busy summer fresh and rejuvenated because of her. She can live with that.

“I…” He gets flustered and rakes a hand through his hair, cupping his other hand around her wrist, “I don’t know how to ask… I mean, I don’t even know if you’d be interested and it’s kind of--”

“Shawn, what do you need?”

It’s simple, she wants to remind him, I’ll give you everything you need.

Shawn’s eyes shut again. He gently, absently massages the tendons in her wrist. “I… was wondering if I could fly you out to Vegas to be there the weekend of my first festival. I think having you there would really help. But I don’t know if you’re busy or if it’s too soon, y’know, I know I haven’t been seeing you very long and I don’t want to be that guy or--”

She quiets his yammering by dragging her hand up to curl around the back of his neck, drawing his eyes to hers.

“That could be arranged,” she murmurs. It makes his toes curl. The tips of his ears go as pink as his cheeks. He grins.

“Yeah?”

She nods smugly. He still needs her. There’s no better feeling. “Call Colette with the details. She can arrange my travel and my room. I have to go home and feed Pammy.”

She stands, looking down at him fondly. Her body tenses and she leans her weight into front foot like she’s going to crouch to kiss him. Instead she swallows, reaches for her suitcase handle and waves with a couple free fingers before she steps out into the humid Malibu morning.

+

Penny doesn’t relish flying commercial, but she doesn’t have much of an excuse to charter a flight just to get to Vegas from LA, especially if she won’t be joined on the flight by a client.

So, first class then.

Colette has her on the United 6 PM into McCarran. She’s getting in just as the city is warming up, coming alive for the night. Flying into Vegas at sunset is especially romantic to Penny. She has visions of Frank at the Sands, of cocktails at the Carnival Lounge, of cruising past the famous ‘Welcome to Las Vegas’ sign in a topless red Thunderbird. Penny always has had a fondness for vintage, and especially to Vegas, with its close links to the Rat Pack. 

Shawn has already reimbursed the agency for her weekend expenses including travel and accommodation, plus her hefty three-day weekend price tag, so Gus is not along for the ride. Instead, a driver will meet her at the airport to shepherd her over to the Bellagio, her preferred Vegas lodging. Her suite is on the floor above Shawn’s.

Penny is used to the glamour. This is not the first time she’s been flown out to meet a client in an exciting city. It’s not even the first time she’s been flown to Vegas to fuck for a weekend in the Bellagio.

But this… she’s excited about.

Shawn must have called Colette as soon as she got in her car because she got the confirmation of the booking when she was crawling back to Studio City on the 101. Two days, three nights, $12,000. He’s playing the inaugural iHeart Summer festival, headlining the first of three nights with names like Cardi B, Miley Cyrus, Dua Lipa, Sam Smith and, of course, Bex.

Not that Penny minds. She’s not attending the festival. His team doesn’t know about her and he intends to keep it that way. She’s not there to be his arm candy, she’s there to take the pressure off behind closed doors. She doesn’t mind behind the dirty little secret. She’s good at it.

The fountain at the Bellagio is surrounded by tourists when she arrives in her hired Tesla. She watches the spray of the impressive water display shimmer in the nighttime lights of the Vegas strip until her driver politely calls for her attention. Her luggage, absolutely excessive for a three day trip, is loaded onto a cart. She reaches for her phone as she’s guided past check-in and up to her fountain view king suite.

Silver Fox: Arrived safely? Xx

Petey Pie: hiiiiii pls slay in vegas you absolute queen, miss you 🖤

She shoots off a quick series of hearts and mushy love words to each before switching to her work phone to dial the agency, impatiently tapping the toe of her pointy black patent leather Brian Atwood stilettos on the hardwood floor.

“Hiya, Pen,” Colette greets, much more casually and without the put-upon accent she sports for client calls, “Everything good there?”

“Just got in. Great room. Can you let him know I’m here?” Penny asks breezily.

“He just called, actually. He says he’s sorry but he can’t see you tonight. He said he has to do “a Bex thing” and that you’d know what that meant.”

Penny looks up from her shoes. Her vision is blurred, unfocused as she looks past the lights of the strip. After a beat too long, she answers.

“Sure, no problem. Thank you, Colette.”

She hangs up and tosses the gold cased phone to the bed. Her slender hands fall to her hips. She continues staring, willing her brain to quiet as her hands begin to wander -- one up to tease her collarbones where they lay bare beneath her oversized men’s dress shirt, the other slipping between her thighs, pressing against the rough denim of her J Brand jeans. She sighs, tilts her head and closes her eyes.

Slowly, she strips out of her clothes, including the pale peach satin lingerie set underneath, leaving them lying on the floor in front of the window. She collapses into the luxurious bedspread, lips mashing together as she sets to work, fingers trembling when she muffles her desperate moans of release into the ornate cushion by her head.

After a few minutes enjoying the afterglow, she bundles up in a fluffy white hotel robe and calls for room service.

+

Shawn stares at the ceiling, twiddling his St. Christopher medal between his fingers as he thinks.

He doubts her room is, like, directly above his. He doubts the footsteps he hears padding around above him are hers. He’d kind of like to imagine they are, though. He wonders what she’s doing.

He’s been wondering since he stood outside her hotel room door last night after 3am, wanting her so bad he couldn’t fucking breathe. He stopped himself from knocking, though. Thank god.

He arrived in Vegas a few hours before Penny did. Upon checking in, Andrew announced that Bex’s flight was moved up to facilitate a staged night out before festival rehearsals. It made sense. Shawn had already mentally accounted for having to spend public time with her on this trip, given they were playing the same festival lineup. He just didn’t know he’d basically be stepping off the plane into a paparazzi circus to hold the hand of a girl whose middle name he doesn’t know, only to be seen slinking away with her back to their hotel.

His stomach rolled at the idea until Penny’s words in her somehow comfortingly stern voice play in his head: this relationship stunt doesn’t define you as a man or as an artist.

He still feels bad, though. He expected to spend the night with Penny. He flew her out here to be with him and now he has to toss her aside for work. It doesn’t seem fair.

He runs a hand through his curls and grunts. Maybe she’s relieved. Maybe it feels like a paid night off in Vegas. Maybe she hasn’t thought about him at all.

He hopes he’s wrong.

+

Penny takes a bubble bath the next morning with too many bubbles and a mimosa after a grueling start at the gym -- 3 miles on the treadmill and 45 minutes of free weights. It felt incredible, almost as incredible as the gardenia-scented bath and the fresh citrus blend of juice that had her lighter than air as the rest of the city began to stir.

She doesn’t expect to hear from Shawn until this evening, at least. It’s his first day of rehearsals at the MGM Grand and he has promo and photoshoots -- all this according to Colette, to whom he gave his schedule when he made the booking.

So Penny takes herself shopping.

Brunch at Bellagio Patisserie is followed by a short walk over to the Grand Canal Shoppes at the Venetian. It’s one of her favorite spots, not despite its kitschiness, but because of it -- the false blue sky overhead and the overflowing flower boxes beneath lit windows in a long neighborhood of Italian storefronts, the men in striped shirts and flat hats singing Italian folk songs as they steer gondolas full of tourists down the indoor river.

It’s all a little too much, just like Vegas is supposed to be. She adores it.

She has an arm full of bags by early afternoon -- Fendi, Barney’s, Louis Vuitton, and those are just for her. She snagged a cute new pair of Vilebrequin swim trunks for Peter and a pair of sky blue Ferragamo slides for Silver. She plans on having a quick salad for lunch before spending the rest of the day at the Cypress pool. 

She’s striding through the airy, unusually quiet lobby of the Bellagio trailed by a bellhop toting her bags when she stops short.

In the window of Cartier, something sparkles. Well, not just one thing, but one thing in particular catches her eye. It’s a ring from the Étincelle de Cartier collection, a looped, overlapping band of rose gold, studded with diamonds. She’s seen the design before, has admired it online, in magazines, even on the fingers of other women. But it’s never called to her like this before. She narrows her eyes, tilts her head and glances down at her naked, plum-painted fingers. 

She decides they look lonely. With a nod to her wide-eyed and very attentive bellhop, she steps inside. 

25 minutes later, humming “I Love Vegas” by Dean Martin, a few thousand dollars poorer, Penny comes strutting out of Cartier with the little red ring box stuffed in her purse and its contents catching the afternoon light on the middle finger of her left hand.

+

Shawn clears his throat again. His eyes are angled down at the toes of his boots as they scuff the stage. He drums his fingers, clasped together around the mic, bobbing his head.

He looks up. Cez and Andrew stand a few yards away in the midst of crowds of roadies setting up the Grand Garden Arena for the festival. They’re talking and nodding and Shawn is trying not to imagine that they’re discussing how fucking edgy and nervous he’s been all morning.

He thinks bitterly he’d be a lot better if he’d gotten to see Penny last night. He closes his eyes and lets himself imagine it -- slipping her out of a shimmery gold dress, tangling his fingers in her hair while her lips course over his chest, lying beneath her as she rides him hard into an expensive mattress while the fountain show is visible through the window.

God, he fucking craves it. He wants to beg for her, to get on his knees for her, to follow her instructions so exactly that she can’t help but smile, call him “baby” in that sweet, breathless voice and, finally, when she’s ready, when he knows he’s earned it, make him come so spectacularly that he can’t remember his own fucking name, much less all that comes attached to it.

He’s going insane without it. That’s what this is, he’s sure. It’s not Bex or the other names on the bill or his name in the biggest lettering he’s ever seen outside the goddamned MGM Grand or the millions of people that will be watching on the TV broadcast. It’s withdrawal. It’s been six days since Malibu, he’s jonesing. That’s all.

He grunts gently and tilts his head forward, gliding into a vocal run as the band plays through LIJ. He needs what Penny and Penny alone can give him to get through his first headlining festival. No matter what, he’s seeing her tonight. No one will fight him. He’s been rehearsing all day and his show is tomorrow. He’ll eat with the team and turn in early, solemn and responsible.

And he’ll go straight to her room and let her fuck him stupid.

Andrew looks up at him. Shawn’s head lifts.

“Sounding great, dude. How do you feel?”

Shawn doesn’t hesitate. “We’re going to run through it again.”

+

She’s topless, facedown on a chaise lounge by the exclusive Cypress pool running through agency numbers on her laptop. It’s almost time to turn over again and reapply sunscreen. Her bellini is fresh and cool, just replaced by the cute poolside waitress who’s been especially attentive. 

Her phone buzzes.

Colette: The client will meet you in your room at 9pm.

Penny wets her lips and sets her phone down. She stretches, tightening every muscle from the tips of her fingers to her toes, and slackens against the cushions, feeling pooling warmth below her belly.

+

Her scalp tingles at the gentle knock on the door. In the dimly lit room, she pads barefoot to the door, glass of champagne fizzing in her newly decorated hand. She checks the peephole, sweeps some hair off the shoulder of her black satin robe and opens the door.

His head snaps up like he wasn’t expecting her. He looks distracted and very tired. He smiles, guilty, like he knows how easily she can see his tension all over him. She has her work cut out for her tonight.

“Hi,” he murmurs, sounding just about as depleted as he feels. He reaches up and brushes some loose curls out of his eyes. They’re still a little wet from his post-rehearsal shower. He knows she doesn’t mind.

Penny takes his hand and it’s almost enough to bring tears to his eyes. She leads him wordlessly into her room. The lamp by her bed is on and the curtains on her floor-to-ceiling windows are drawn open, allowing the only light in the room. Her phone is plugged into the stereo, playing Sinatra’s In the Wee Small Hours album. He follows her to the sofa and sits, hearing his knees creak, feeling his back ache. She perches beside him and lifts her legs over his lap. He settles, curling one hand around her ankle and using the other to rub circles into her knee.

He looks up at her timidly. She fights a concerned frown.

“I’m sorry about last night,” he whispers, looking a little distraught, “I feel… kinda weird about it.”

“Why weird?” she asks, handing him a glass of champagne. He reluctantly pries a hand off her silky skin to take it and sip.

“Because… because you’re here for me and I ditched you. I mean, you know I didn’t want to, right? God, fuck, I really didn’t want to. I would’ve given anything to be here with you last night. But--”

“It’s ok, Shawn,” she assures him, widening her eyes to underline her sincerity, “This is your job. I understand that and I respect that. It deserves your time and attention more than I do.”

“But still, I flew you out here. I… I’d never want you to feel like just because I’m paying to see you that that means I can do whatever I want with you or your time. Because I respect you, too.”

Penny is quiet for a few very long seconds. “I know you do. It’s one of the reasons I like spending time with you. But we wouldn’t be here together if you weren’t in this position with your job.”

His skin prickles. He swallows another sip, a slightly larger one. “I guess it’s still weird for me. Being out with her, seeing the headlines and what people think.”

She brings in the ringer -- she scoops a hand up into the curls at the back of his neck and scrunches them, massaging her fingers against his nape. His eyes slide shut. He purrs.

“It’s all for a good cause,” she reminds him gently.

He nods and sips again, keeping his eyes shut.

“How was your day?” he whispers after a few quiet moments, fluttering his eyes back open.

“Good,” she chuckles, “I went to the gym, I took a bubble bath, I shopped, I laid out by the pool.”

He can tell. She’s all shimmery and warm in a way a woman only can be when she’s soaked up some natural sun. He nods admiringly, letting his fingers wander up her bare leg.

“Did you buy anything?”

She goes a little bashful. Shawn’s eyebrows lift.

“A few things,” she admits, untangling her fingers from his hair and holding her hand out in front of him, “This is my favorite.”

Shawn cups her hand in his broad palm and examines the ring with a grin. “It’s pretty. Why are you making that face?”

She purses her lips around a smile. “It’s a splurge. I walked into Cartier downstairs on a whim. I saw it in the window and needed it immediately.”

There’s something undeniably sexy to Shawn about a woman who knows what she wants and goes for it. He bites into his lower lip and brushes the pad of his thumb over the glinting stones.

“You deserve it, Pen.”

She slips her hand from his and slowly curls it under his jaw. “I know.”

His breath catches in his throat. He chokes on a stammering laugh. “I know you know. I guess I just like reminding you.”

She wets her unpainted lips. “Because you’re my good boy.”

Air whistles out of Shawn’s nose as he exhales. He nods in her hand.

Penny leans in. His lips are warm and a little rough, but they taste like champagne. She sighs into him, lets him trace his fingers up the outside of her thigh, brushing where the short robe lies against her sun-kissed skin. The tension in his jaw abates when she slips her tongue between his lips, exploring the way he softens just for her.

He pulls away first, out of breath. He presses his cheek to hers, nuzzling.

“Fuck, you have no idea how much I needed that.”

Penny places her flute of champagne beside his on the end table and reaches for him. They stand, Penny up on her toes to meet him from several inches below. With her hands secured around his neck, she continues kissing him -- she’s found it’s the best way to get him totally present with her, the fastest and sweetest way to relax him until he’s warm and pliant in her hands.

Her eyes are shut. The lights from the fountain show cast a glow against her eyelids but she’s too into him to notice. They explore different rhythms -- soft, sweet kisses, skating hands, gentle noises and rough, passionate moans, grabbing, taking, feeling.

She presses him back into the window, watching the colored lights of the strip surround his head like a halo as he pants down at her. For a moment, she just takes him in, breathing heavily, eyes wide, swallowing him in gulps. His hands twitch against her waist. She feels the tremble and lets it ground her.

She plants a hand against his chest. It rises and falls with his breath. She watches it, watches him beneath it, the way his eyes sparkle at her now that he’s all here, all hers.

“Shawn,” she beckons, guiding him with her voice, “Strip.”

He blinks, and it’s the only moment of pause he takes before he starts to obey. She steps back to give him room to kick off his boots, shove at his jeans and boxers, wriggle out of his fitted tee. He stands before her like the statue of David, but better -- flushed and full of life, hardening cock stirring against his thigh, brushed with soft hair all over his warm body.

“God, you’re fucking magnificent.”

Her eyes flash after she says it, locking onto his. He goes absolutely magenta, swallowing roughly and turning his face when the eye contact becomes too much. She makes a disapproving noise from the back of her throat and cups his cheek to turn him back to her. 

“Look at me,” she urges, but it’s warm and, underneath, a little pleading. She holds his gaze. This time, he preens a little, lifting his chin, smiling, even flexing. She releases a wet growl and nods.

“I got myself off thinking about you last night,” she confesses hotly, reaching for the sash of her robe. His abs tense this time in shock, not to peacock for her.

“Really?” he stammers, eyes going comically wide.

She nods eagerly, slipping the robe off her shoulders. On her bronzed skin she wears a gold lace lingerie set -- a balconette bra she’s positively spilling from and a barely there v-string. His fingers curl into his palms and his head falls back into the window with a thud.

“I thought about you on your knees for me,” she pants, “Begging, pleading for a taste. God, you were ravenous. Fucking devouring me. So good for me, baby, just like always.”

Shawn whines impatiently, eyes falling shut as he imagines it too, cock bobbing against his thigh as he shivers.

“And then --” she purrs, causing him to snap his eyes back open because she sounds closer than she was, and she is, she’s standing so close that her feet are between his and her breasts are a hair’s breadth from his chest.

“--then, I let you fuck me.”

Shawn gasps a breath because he forgot he needed oxygen until his body forcibly reminded him.

“Yeah?” he croaks.

Penny nods, smirking. She rests her palms against his chest and hears him deflate like a balloon. She cocks her head, admiring her ring in this new light. The rose gold looks pretty against his skin. She hums thoughtfully, nudges it with her thumb to watch it sparkle.

Her eyes lift to his. He was already watching her closely.

“You like my ring, Shawn?”

He nods, certain, but unsure of where she’s going with this. She spreads her fingers and starts gliding her hand up over his collarbone, wrapping delicately around his throat. He stops breathing like she’s restricting his airway, but it’s just in anticipation. After a heated moment, she continues her hand’s path under his chin and up until her fingertips rest against his mouth.

“Open,” she commands softly.

Shawn’s jaw drops enough for her to slip her index and middle finger into his mouth, resting against his perfect wet tongue. He grunts, closes his mouth around them, starting to suck gently to gauge her reaction.

She watches him hungrily as he tastes her fingers, swirling his tongue along the length of them, between them, paying special attention to the ring she’s so fond of. He groans as he watches her face, lips parted like she, too, can’t believe how fucking hot this is.

Slowly, carefully, he lifts his hands to rest in the dips of her waist, anchoring her close to him as he lavishes her fingers, admiring their slender strength in his mouth. She curls them teasingly, he nips at her knuckles to watch her squirm. The lights and sounds of the city behind them are totally lost. Or maybe they’re the ones that are lost.

Shawn keeps sucking and licking far past the point of vulgarity. The noises his mouth makes against her fingers are filthy and he hopes (he’s pretty confident) that it’s doing a good job of getting her wet for him. She’s not stopping him, though. She’s rapt, amazed at his attention, waiting -- for what, he’s not sure. But he won’t stop until she tells him to.

Maybe it’s her wriggling impatience that finally has her tugging her fingers away from his swollen lips with a pop. He flicks his head back to free his sweaty forehead from some stray curls. He breathes hard, mouth open, waiting for whatever she wants next.

Penny brushes her tongue against her lower lip. She skims her wet fingers down her stomach, dipping into the front of her panties with a sigh. In her periphery, Shawn’s chest rises and falls a little faster. She curls her fingers against her pussy with a groan, shoulders softening, head lolling sideways when she releases a soft breath.

“Penny,” Shawn hisses weakly, “Please.”

Her eyelids are heavy as she stares up at him. He doesn’t know what he’s asking for, she can tell. It’s ok. She always knows what he wants even when he doesn’t.

Slowly, a little reluctantly, she pulls her hand from between her legs and slips her fingertips into the cup of her bra, holding a condom up for him to take. He heaves a relieved sigh and lifts a corner of his wet mouth. 

She takes his free hand and pulls him off the window, taking his place against it. She settles back for a moment, staring up at his face as he concentrates on steadying his shaky fingers enough to roll the condom on. He blinks hard when he finishes and sees her watching him.

“Wh-what do you want, Penny?”

She turns her back to him, shifts her hands up until they’re pressing into the glass above her head. Shawn’s breath shudders hard in his chest as he admires the shape of her, fully illuminated by the city lights. He takes a mental picture, begs his frazzled brain to hold onto this image as long as he can.

She glances over her shoulder and nods at him. Wordlessly, reverently, he peels her out of her pretty bra and panties, tossing them behind him toward the bed. She chuckles at his eagerness. He smiles back, caught, but comfortable  basking in how much he wants her. 

She turns. Shawn inhales sharply and staggers, planting a hand up on the window beside her to remain steady. She gathers him up into her arms and, as they both lock eyes and inhale, he lifts her, wrapping her legs around his torso, angling the head of his cock against her entrance.

He chokes on a breath, “Fuck-- oh fuck, you’re so wet.”

Penny nods, a little frantic, thrusting her fingers into his curls as if to steer him. “Listen to me. I need you to fuck me as hard as you can. Don’t hold back, baby. I wanna feel you. I wanna feel everything.”

Shawn’s eyes fall shut. He hears the volume of the groan he releases but he doesn’t remember allowing himself to make it. He shifts her in his arms until he slides in an inch or two. Her eyes close just as his reopen.

He follows the stroke through until he’s buried, brushing his nose against hers. She feels him, understands what he wants. She nods again, clenching her arms tighter around his shoulders.

With a loud gasp, Shawn tilts his hips, sliding all the way back as he holds her flat against the window, and presses back in harder. He hangs his head against her shoulder, establishing a slow, deep rhythm, flinching every time he hears her body squeezing around him greedily.

“Holy… shit,” he coughs, letting his tongue brush her collarbone as he picks up his pace, egged on by her bare heels digging into his ass.

Penny can’t fucking breathe. Her head bumps back against the window with each powerful stroke. Every row of his hips stretches her further. It’s like every thrust fills her so completely, there isn’t even room for oxygen in her lungs. She doesn’t care. She doesn’t think she needs it right now. She needs this.

“So… good,” she grunts, the sound throaty and weak. 

He’s not holding back, she can tell. She wasn’t sure if he could get here with her, if he trusted her, and himself, enough to let himself have this. But she knows he needs it. She thinks maybe they both do.

“Penny,” he sighs. His hips work faster. She scrunches her fingers in his hair.

“More,” she demands, but the whine in her voice gives it away as a plea.

“Fuck,” he swears, shaking his head in disbelief. He hitches her up in his arms as their sweaty bodies slip, and it changes the angle. Her fingers scrabble on his back, sinking in and dragging, leaving livid red marks as she clings to him against his mighty swings.

Her eyes glaze over, roll back slightly. “Oh god, yes!” she cries, turning her face to bury her nose in his hair and bite sharply at the shell of his ear.

He growls in a way she hasn’t heard from him. It’s rough, all animal, and she knows there’s nothing left in him that’s uncertain or anxious or self-conscious or scared. He holds her hips steady and pounds hard, relishing the slick squelch of their bodies and the protest of the window against her skin.

“Oh my god, oh my god,” she chants, holding on for dear life. It’s all she can do. She has no leverage to fuck back against him. He’s the one driving into her and, when he does, pressing her back to reach even deeper. She sobs for breath, soaking him as he ruts hard against her clit with every perfect, reckless stroke.

“Penny, shit,” Shawn moans, “Please, please, you have to come. I can’t fucking hold on.”

With a whine in her throat, she yanks at his hair to bring his eyes up to hers. The pupils are so dilated she can’t see any brown left. She focuses on the blackness and feels her walls spasm, so close she can taste it.

“Harder,” she hisses, daring him, keeping his head pinned between her hands.

His brow furrows. His tensed hands clench hard enough to bruise. He doesn’t have anymore to give, but she wants it, so he’s going to fucking give it to her. He groans, ass clenching as he forces himself deeper into her desperate, willing body until she gasps and breaks.

He’s never felt anything like it. She goes solid in his arms, every well-trained muscle hard as a rock, but her pussy trembles around him, holding him in. She massages his throbbing cock so thoroughly that Shawn loses his hold and comes right behind her, spilling into the condom with a scream. His hips keep thrusting shallowly, the rhythm holding steady long past when it usually does after he comes. It takes them both longer than usual to come down. 

When they do, even Shawn’s impressive strength is nearly gone. His knees tremble as he scoops her off the window and stumbles toward the bed, using his last bit of self-control to lay her down gently, his cock still nestled inside her pulsing walls.

She loosens her grip on his shoulders and hair, stroking instead of scraping. Her breathing steadies from gasps to perfect, mindless whimpers. He doesn’t think he’s breathing at all until she shifts beneath him and he hears himself whine, loud and unabashed.

He lifts his heavy head from her shoulder to look down at her. She’s smiling gently, still panting through her overfull lips. He barely stops himself from kissing her. He grins like a moron instead.

“Are you… ok?” he asks, his voice shaky. She nods.

He starts to pull his hips back. One of her legs, still slung around him, presses into his ass cheek as she makes a weak noise.

“Slowly,” she groans, brow furrowing. He bobs his head sheepishly and eases out, feeling the way her body resists the loss. It gives him a full body shiver.

He ties off the condom and lobs it into a trashcan by the bed. He reaches for her hip, cupping where his hands held her so tight.

“Are you… sure you’re ok?”

She makes a warm purring noise and closes her eyes. “You were so good, so perfect for me. I’ve never been fucked that hard before.”

This perks him up a bit. He smiles to himself and nudges closer to her on top of the bedspread, shutting his eyes.

“I’m gonna take a nap,” he whispers. 

She threads her fingers into his hair and pets his scalp until they’re both asleep, curled up beside each other.

+

He wants to hold her hand.

It’s a pretty sudden realization as she walks him back to his room. He’s pretty sure it’s because he’s never had a sexual experience like this in his life and he’s still fucking high from it, but it’s disconcerting, too. 

So he doesn’t hold her hand. He just glances over at her again, amazed she’s up and walking, especially after they went at it again (much less aggressively) after their nap. She smirks at him.

“I’m not a china doll, Shawn,” she assures him. He flushes a little.

“Yeah, no, I… sorry.”

She chuckles through her nose and glances up the long hallway to the door of his room. 

“I probably should’ve let you sleep,” she sighs, glancing down at her work phone, frowning at the time -- 6:11 AM.

Shawn shrugs. “I think I needed that more than sleep.”

They stop outside his door. He reaches for her, unsure of what he’s after, when the door next to his swings open.

Cez is looking down at his phone, dressed in gym wear, ready to go. He glances up and freezes, staring at Shawn and Penny.

Shawn’s mouth goes dry. His stomach lurches. He opens his mouth to speak.

“... anyway, I know I’m an asshole, it’s like, 6 AM and I’m definitely still super fucking drunk, but my friends will, like, murder me if I don’t get a selfie with you.”

Shawn stares at Penny for almost a beat too long. Her eyes are wide and manic. Her grin is toothy. Her voice doesn’t sound like hers at all. She even stumbles a little for effect. He swallows and nods.

“Yeah, ok.”

She slings an arm around him and holds up her phone, snapping the photo with a squeal.

“Okie! Byeeeee!”

Without a glance back at either of them, Penny hustles away, almost losing her balance even just in flip flops. Shawn’s sure she put it on as part of her little impromptu show.

He glances back at Cez, who snorts and shakes his head, seemingly unbothered.

“Went for another dawn walk?” Cez guesses.

Shawn blinks and nods, catching up. “Yeah. Gonna get changed and hit the gym, too.”

Cez nods and walks off, busy on his phone. Shawn lets himself into his room and doesn’t let himself exhale until the door clicks behind him.

+

Shawn Mendes SLAYS Night One of iHeart Summer Fest -- E!News

Shawn Mendes Surprises Vegas Fans With Bex Duet! -- The Hollywood Reporter

Shawn Mendes Commands Night One, Highlight of Inaugural iHeart Summer Festival -- Rolling Stone

+

His heart skips a beat like it does whenever La Splendeur calls, but this time it thuds even a little harder. He’s not sure why they’re calling him. He hasn’t made another booking yet. Hell, he hasn’t even left Vegas yet.

“Hello?”

“Hello, may I have your verbal password, please?”

“Ireland,” Shawn grunts, closing the door behind him as he steps onto his hotel room balcony.

“Excellent, thank you, Mr. Mendes. Miss Penny has requested that I leave you with her cell number for future bookings.”

His face is blank. “... She did?”

“Yes. It’s not uncommon practice. After a period of time, our employees often transition to arranging directly with preferred clients.”

Preferred clients. He really shouldn’t be blushing at that, but…

He puts the phone on speaker so he can type in her number, saving it under the name “Orthodontist” -- just in case.

+

Pamela thwaps her tail against the entryway carpet impatiently, but stays put when Penny opens the door for the delivery that the mysterious auction house called to arrange the previous day. Behind the door stands a tall gentleman in a well tailored suit, wearing a flat, polite grin.

“Miss Penny?”

Penny nods. “Yes.”

He gestures to the credenza beside her. She lets him in, clearing her throat uncertainly as she shuts the door behind him.

With his back to her, he lifts a briefcase onto the surface and pops it open. A familiar red leather box, much larger than the one she brought home from Vegas, sits inside.

He lifts it out and turns to her, presenting it as if for her inspection. She squares her shoulders and nods.

He lifts the lid. Penny’s knees turn to jello. Her eyes go wide as saucers. Her breath catches.

“Oh… my god.”

“Spectacular, isn’t it?” the man agrees enthusiastically. 

Inside the box is a diamond tennis necklace in a white gold setting with graduated stones. It has to be at least 12 carats total. And Penny’s no jeweler but she bets, especially given the way in which it was delivered, that the diamonds in the settings are nearly flawless.

“The certificate of authenticity is in this folder. As I’m sure you’ve already been told, the necklace is 1949 Cartier, handmade in France, designed by Frank Sinatra for Ava Gardner.”

She swears she’s going to pass out. She lifts a hand to her forehead and focuses on her breath so she doesn’t swallow her fucking tongue.

“I’m-- is there a note? Who sent this?”

The man looks startled, like he was quite certain Penny knew all about this gift. He hands her a piece of cardstock in a creamy envelope and packs his briefcase back up, leaving the red box on the credenza. Penny is scared to touch it.

She holds the card behind her in her twitching fingers. She cocks her head, staring at the necklace. Pamela settles beside her, brushing her leg with her big, furry head.

When Penny thinks she’s regained enough sense to read, she slides the card from the envelope.

‘Thank you

x, Shawn’

----------

Taglist: @smallerinfinities @the-claire-bitch-project @achinglyshawn @infiniteshawn @mendesoft @singanddreamanyway @alone-in-madness @abigfatmess @shawnitsmutual @awkwardfangirl2014 @september-lace @grittyisaho @sinplisticshawn @rollingxstone @yslsaint @randi-eve @fallmoreinlove @heyits-claire @itrocksmysocks @parkerspicedlatte @simpledomain @abeautiful-and-cloudy-day @thecurlsofgod @magcon7280 @bensbuttercup @shawnsmusical @paigeasourous @tell-me-when-ur-ready @softmendesss @tnhmblive @greedydevil @tamegray @meltingicequeen @havethetimeeofyourlifee @normalcyisoverrated-beyou @t-i-n-y-d-i-n-o @hannahlouiseee @sarahlauramendes @shawnsmoose

[soocouldbemyonlystar]

Chaebols: The Arrangement Pt11

The Final Chapter

Genre: Chaebols AU/ romance/ fluff/ angst

Pairing: Kyungsoo x OC

Length:6.5k

Song recs for this chapter: Be the One by Dua Lipa and Born Again by Tiffany Young

Full playlist for Chaebols: The Arrangement

First Previous Pt11    Prequel

cover by the incredible @soobadnoonecanstopher

In Jongdae’s apartment, Jae-Eun lay in his couch. Her head rested in his lap and in silence Jongdae smoothed her hair away from her face. Tears poured quietly, leaving a damp spot in his pants. If it bothered him, he didn’t say a word. Like Jae-Eun knew Jongdae needed comforting words, he knew she didn’t. Jae-Eun needed someone to lean on but encouraging words were of no help. Silent support was all she wanted.

It had been almost two weeks since Jae-Eun had walked in on Kyungsoo and Mi-Sun in his office. Two weeks since Jae realized he didn’t want to let that woman go.

Jae didn’t know if she had been a distraction for Kyungsoo, just something to do until Mi-Sun decided she was ready to play with him again. Or he could be using her to make Mi-Sun jealous. Whatever the reason it was, he had taken Jae-Eun for a fool.

And she had fallen for it whole-heartedly. The sad eyes, pretty promises out of pretty lips, smiles and secret, stolen glances. She had fallen hard for all of it. Jae-Eun believed every word until she saw him knelt at Mi-Sun’s side just like the day they had gotten married. The progress she thought they had made over the last year was a lie. He never intended to move on. Everything she thought she knew was wrong.

The ears fell harder. It hurt, everything hurt. She thought she would eventually get past it. But right now, she needed to grieve.

But she had messed up so much worse than anyone knew. In her grief she neglected herself. Didn’t pay attention to her body. At first there was a lack of appetite, which could be contributed to her emotions. Jae had spent most of that time asleep, so it had been easy to ignore the hunger pain. Then she got sick, unable to keep anything down even when she tried. Her head began to pound uncontrollably, no position, level of darkness, lack of sound or scent would deter the pain.

Jongdae was at work, and Jae-Eun was lucky that his ex-girlfriend Soo-Young had shown up when she did. Jae-Eun had barely made it to open the door before she fainted from the pain. Soo-Young rushed her to the hospital where Dae had met them. She had been so severely dehydrated that any longer and Jae would have gone into shock.

Jae was pissed off at herself for not recognizing the symptoms.

“Eonni,” Soo-Young’s voice brought her out of the thoughts, “You should drink. The tea is still warm, and you don’t want to get sick again.”

Sniffling, Jae-Eun sat up, wiping away her tears and taking the mug of tea.

“Thank you,” she told Soo-Young before bringing the mug to her lips, letting the warm liquid flow down her throat.

The moment it hit her stomach it turned, she heaved and Jongdae produced the trash can he kept close to them. He moved strands of loose hair as she retched into the can, emptying the limited contents of her stomach.

Jae-Eun repeated the process a couple more times before the tea finally settled and she could hold it down. The taste left in her mouth made her feel nauseous, so she excused her self to the bathroom to brush her teeth and rinse. It would likely prompt even more nausea, but she had to try.

When she returned Jongdae pulled her in to his arms.

“Jae-Eun-ah he started as he rubbed circles into her back. “You should call…”

“No…” He was the last person she wanted to see right now. A few weeks ago, she had been secure in her future with or without Kyungsoo. But he had stolen an chance she had at getting past this.

“I said I needed time.”

“Yeah, but you’re sick.”

“I’m not dying, Oppa.”

She was surprised Kyungsoo had given her the space she asked for. Well… kind of anyways. He called Jongdae daily and had texted her almost as often.

           Tuesday, 8:34 pm

                        Soo: Please talk to me…

           Wednesday, 10:30 am

                       Soo: I put in time off for you.

           Wednesday, 10:36 am

                       Soo: Let me explain… please.

           Thursday, 5: 50 pm

                       Soo: Come on baby, call me.

           Saturday, 3:12 pm

                       Soo: please

           Tuesday, 6:45 am

                       Soo: it’s been a week

           Thursday, 11:45 pm

                       Soo: I just want to hear your voice

           Saturday, 2:00 pm

                       Soo: I miss you

As much as she hated it, she missed him too. She missed the days spent quiet in each other’s arms, and the nights up late talking about anything and everything. She missed his eyes peering through his glasses at her as she painted in their office. She missed watching him cook, and the way he hummed when doing menial tasks. She missed the way her hand fit into his and how his lips felt on her skin.

The tears started falling again.

Soo Young sighed, sitting next to Jae and wrapping her in a hug. Jae leaned her head on Soo-Youngs shoulder and let them flow. There was no stopping them anyway.

The building buzzer rang and Jongdae stood to check the display.

“Um, Jae, he’s here.”

Jae-Eun shook her head. She wasn’t ready.

“Sorry little brother, she doesn’t want to see you yet.”

Kyungsoo’s smooth calm voice came back over the comm.

“So help me, Hyung. I will burn this building down to get to her.

She was afraid this was going to happen. The last thing she wanted was to cause a rift between Kyungsoo and Jongdae.

He moved again to protest but Jae stopped him.

“Jongdae, it’s okay.”

He watched as she wiped her tears away and smoothed her hair back into its bun before he hit the button to let Kyungsoo up.

“Do you want us to leave?” Dae asked.

“Please don’t, I’m not ready to do this alone.”

He and Soo-Young agreed and when Kyungsoo walked in they stood like a shield between him and her.

Kyungsoo nodded to the other two but his eyes stayed on her.

“Jae,” his voice was calm but assertive, “I got you point. It’s time to come home.”

“No,” she said simply.

“What do you mean no? I’ve waited for two weeks for you to come home. What do you want me to say? I don’t love her, I love you, now get your things and let’s go.”

Jae stood a little too quickly, but she recovered before Kyungsoo could notice.

“Are you kidding me? The level of her voice was making her nauseous again,” Let’s say for a minute I believe you, and I’m not inclined to, why would I go anywhere with you after a confession like that?”

Kyungsoo sighed, “Is there any way I could confess that would make you believe me?”

She shook her head.

“Then what’s the point. You won’t talk to me or let me explain.” “What’s to explain, you had your tongue down her throat.” Jae shot back.

“I didn’t have my tongue down her throat. I was trying to push her away.”

“Didn’t look like that to me. And let’s not forget the whole ‘you don’t love me like you love her’ confession.”

“Is that all you heard?”

“What more do I need to hear.”

“A lot,” Kyungsoo spat, “There was so much more to that conversation.”

Jongdae and Soo-Young shifted uncomfortably as his voice grew louder.

“It doesn’t matter, she’s obviously thorough jealous and wants you back, so you get what you want.”

“I already told you want I wanted. Damn, Jae, can’t we talk about this at home?”

“You lost the right to choose where we have this conversation.”

“If I wanted her, why am I not with her now? Why and I here begging you to come home? Why am I sleeping in the damn penthouse instead of our home, because the thought of being there without you makes me sick.”

He moved toward her but Jongdae side stepped in Kyungsoo’s way. He gave Dae a slitted look but didn’t push further.

“I won’t fall for your pretty words again.” She mumbled.

“Pretty words? Jae, you know I’m shit at telling you how I really feel. So what? You think this was all a lie?”

“Yeah, I do.”

“If I really wanted her, what reason would I have to lie now?”

“I don’t know, you keep promising the truth, but I have yet to hear it.”

Kyungsoo ran a hand through his hair. “You want the truth? How about I didn’t want my wife to know how big an idiot I was. How about the fact that I got played, from the very damn beginning? I was stupid and naïve, and I gave her everything she wanted and didn’t ask a damn question. Or how about it’s your damn fault I got involved with her in the first place?”

“I didn’t even know you then, that doesn’t make sense.”

“But I knew you,” He didn’t hesitate, “When did your parents tell you it was me they wanted you to marry?”

She sighed, pressing her fingers in the back of her neck to relieve the ache. “I don’t remember, in college maybe. Yeah, they didn’t approve of Nate. I was told I could date if I wanted, but I would be expected to marry you once I came home.”

“Our mothers are best friends. Do you really think they only came up with this when we were in college?”

He had a point, though her mother never gave a name before university, she had always seemed to be talking about a specific person in regard to Jae-Eun marrying.

“I’ve known since I was ten. You went to a different primary school but transferred to our high school. Your bullies didn’t stop messing with you because you hung out with the upperclassmen. Mom told me about you being bullied. They quit because I cornered them and threatened to have their parents fired from my company or call in favors if they didn’t work for my dad. I knew who you were then, and I didn’t mind. I kind of like that my parents had someone picked out for me. You were pretty and likable enough from what I could tell. I would even meet Jongdae after his art class so that I could see you, but I didn’t think it was right to talk to you if you didn’t know who I was.”

“Gee thanks, Kyungsoo-yah. Nice to know our little tradition was because you wanted to see a girl.” Jongdae whined.

Jae-Eun huffed in annoyance, “What does this have to do with her?”

Kyungsoo continued, “One day in third year you didn’t show. Or any day after that. Your parents had sent you to the states, I was pissed. Here is this girl who was supposed to be mine, and I wasn’t even informed when you were sent away.”

“I don’t’ belong to you. Why should you have been told?”

“I know that now. But then I was angry. I could have gone with you so that you weren’t alone. It felt like an ambush. But I mostly blamed myself, if I had said something to you, had we become friends then, maybe you would have stayed. So Jongin and I made a promise to each other not to marry the women our parents arranged for us.” Kyungsoo explained.

Jongdae belted, “That was because of her.”

“This is ridiculous.” Jae-Eun hissed.

“That was caused by Lee Jae-Eun.” He confirmed. “My hope, when I was sent to the states, was to find a woman to bring home so that I could marry who I chose, not someone who was chosen for me. That’s when I met Mi-Sun. She was my choice, and it was the biggest mistake of my life. But I didn’t cheat Jae.”

Jae-Eun felt the tears well in her eyes.

“When we went on that first date, Mi-Sun had just told be she was pregnant. So, I had given up on everything. But you walked into that coffee shop with this confidence. You were still the same girl I liked in high school, but it was like the air around you changed. It was hard to take my eyes off you. You were professional and poised, and you had this plan to make this marriage work and for the first time in years I was actually interested in something other than Mi-sun. But I wasn’t ready to let her go. I wanted to I just wasn’t ready and I took that out on you.”

She wanted to believe him, she wanted it to be the truth. Jae just didn’t know if she could trust what he said ever again.

Her emotions mixed with hormones made her stomach churn uncontrollably. A hard sob sent it over the edge and Jae-Eun dropped to her knees, dry heaving into the can.

“Jae!” She heard his voice in the distance.

Soo-Young came to her side, holding back her hair, rubbing circles into her back.

“What’s wrong with her?” Kyungsoo demanded, “why do you keep acting like you have to protect her from me?”

“I’m not trying to, but you need to back off. She’s sick.”

“Kim Jongdae.” Jae managed a warning before her stomach finally emptied.

“I’m sorry, Jae-Eun-ah,” Dae said when she managed to stop retching. “He’s my brother, I can’t lie to him anymore.”

“You promised.” She cried.

“But I didn’t,” Soo-Young came to her feet and stood beside Jongdae. “Your wife just got out of the hospital last night. She was extremely dehydrated, and close to going into shock.”

He moved forward again, but Jae-Eun held her had up for him to stop.

“Why wasn’t I told. She’s my wife damnit.”

Jongdae placed a hand on his shoulder, “I was there as her guardian. We didn’t have to inform you and she asked me not to.”

“She has a condition called hyperemesis gravidarum.” Soo-Young explained. “It’s a very severe form of morning sickness.”

There was silence from him at first. Jae-Eun slid off her knees and rested back against the couch. She sniffled as she wiped the tears (some from crying, some from the stain of vomiting).

Kyungsoo was hidden from her sight by Dae and Soo-Young, her hand in his.

“Are you saying…” He couldn’t finish the sentence.

“Yes, she’s pregnant.”

Jae heard a shuffle and a loud bang as Kyungsoo backed into the wall and slid down to the floor. Jongdae knelt at his side as Soo-Young turned back to check on Jae-Eun.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered to Jae-Eun, “I couldn’t let Dae do it.”

Jae-Eun nodded in understanding. Jongdae was doing much better, but who knew what could send him spiraling. She brushed more tears again. With his head between his knees, Kyungsoo’s shoulders bounced. She would have thought he was crying, but the sound he emitted was nowhere near a cry.

He was laughing.

When he raised his head, his face was contorted into a half-smile-half-sneer.

“You’re having my baby, and we can’t even be happy about it. I told you I would fuck this up. You should have run when my mom gave you the chance.”      

His voice broke and the smile disappeared. Kyungsoo breathed heavily and Jae thought she saw moisture in his eyes.

With Jongdae’s help, Kyungsoo rose to his feet.

“Baby, please come home. Let me take care of you. We can work this out… please.” He begged.

“I’m not leaving you. I made a promise and I intend to keep it.” Jae assured him. “But, I’m not ready to go home with you. I still need more time.”

There was something in his face that looked like hopelessness to Jae. It almost had her changing her mind, but then she remembered just good at acting Kyungsoo really was.

He nodded his head, turning away, but he thought better of it. Shoving his hand in the pocket of his jeans, he produced a USB drive.

“The time that Mi-Sun walked in on us in my office, she didn’t know that Secretary Yoon told me she always asked if I was alone before she came in. So she would have had to know that you were in there with me. I didn’t trust her after that, so I have audio and video installed and Secretary Yoon would turn it on every time Mi-Sun showed up.”

He knelt next to her, taking her hand and slipping the drive into her palm.

“If you want to know what really happened it’s on this drive,” Kyungsoo closed her fingers around the box. Then he placed a kiss to the back of her hand, pressing it against his cheek.

Jae-Eun closed her eyes for a second and allowed herself to feel, to take in the sensation of his skin against hers.

Then he released it and stood.

“I’ll give you whatever time and space you need. You know where I’ll be and how to get a hold of me when you are ready.”

He turned to the door but Jae-Eun needed to know something before he left.

“Kyungsoo,” she called after him. “How can I ever trust you when you keep her by your side.”

“Yoo Mi-Sun no longer works for Ganghan.” He said simply. “Monday is the last day of her notice.”

“Why?”

“She tried to wreck our marriage. Let’s just say when given the option between a new position in Busan and a sexual harassment lawsuit, she chose the former.”

Jae-Eun remained silent, unsure of how to respond to that. She knew there was no guarantee she would go through with it. Jae-Eun had learned that hoping, when it came to Kyungsoo, was futile.

“I love you.” Kyungsoo’s voice was solid and confident. “I know it may not matter to you now, but you deserve to hear it. I love you more than anything.”

He turned to Jongdae, “Take care of her for me, Hyung.”

Then he walked out the door.

Jae tossed the USB on the table like it was toxic. She didn’t want to hear his confession again, or to see their passionate exchange. But more than anything she didn’t want to watch as he rushed to her side protectively.

Jae climbed to her feet slowly so she wouldn’t agitate the nausea and dizziness. With out a word to Jongdae and Soo-Young, she walked out of the room. The taste of bile lingered, so she brushed her teeth. It would be important for her to maintain this if the sickness were to be a regular occurrence. From what the doctor told her, anything could set it off and it could last anywhere from a few months to the entire pregnancy.

Pregnancy!

Jae-Eun hadn’t’ let herself believe it yet. But Kyungsoo knew, she couldn’t avoid it anymore. She couldn’t continue to wallow in self-pity any more because she was having Kyungsoo’s baby, and she was happy about it. No matter what their baby was a good thing. She could focus her time raising their child, the next heir to the Ganghan empire, and not waste her time caring about who her husband did or didn’t love.

When she came out of the bathroom, Jae-Eun had renewed strength.

Jongdae and Soo-Young sat on the couch with a laptop, the drive slotted on the right side.

“I know you don’t trust him.” Jongdae spoke over the back of the couch. “But I think he is telling the truth. You should watch the video.”

He was right, of course. Jae-Eun needed to know. Seeing the whole picture would be important if she were ever going to find a way past this.

So, the nodded and joined them on the couch. “I will watch it if you stay with me.”

Jongdae sighed, “okay, which one is it?”

“There,” she pointed, “that was the date.”

Jongdae’s fingers moved over the touchpad, selection the video and hitting play.

Kyungsoo and Jae-Eun stood together as Mi-Sun stepped into his office.

“CEO, Director Lee.” Mi-Sun bowed.

“Director Yoo.”

“Early as always, Director.” Kyungsoo’s voice was clipped.

“Yes, sir.”

Jae-Eun turned back to Kyungsoo, “I’ll see you at home.”

She placed a kiss to his cheek then whispered something that was inaudible. As she turned away Kyungsoo grabbed her hand, pressing it to his chest.

“Be safe,” he released her and Jae-Eun walked out of the office, leaving Kyungsoo and Mi-Sun alone together.

Mi-Sun stepped forward, tossing the binger on the table where Kyungsoo took his in-office meetings.

“The others are running a bit late, but they will be here soon.” She told him.

Je leaned back against his desk, crossing his arms and acknowledged her.

“You look happy.” She noted.

“I am,” he responded.

“It’s a complete one-eighty from what I saw at your wedding.”

Kyungsoo pulled his glasses off and tossed them back on his desk.

“We had a rough start. Jae-Eun and I … we figured things out. Everything is good. It’s really good.”

Mi-Sun came up next to him, “You’re in love with her?”

A smile formed on Kyungsoo’s face that was visible across the distance from the camera.

“Yeah, I’m in love with her.”

“But you don’t love her like you love me.”

Kyungsoo’s smile faded and he stepped out of Mi-Suns touch.

“You’re right. I don’t.”

 Jae-Eun felt the daggers in her chest again. It was worse than the first time. Kyungsoo told Mi-Sun he was he was in love with Jae-Eun only to turn right around and contradict himself. To say it wasn’t enough.

She wanted to be done, but his voice caught her attention again.

 “Loving you had be twisted and broken. I felt like I was drowning all the time. With Jae, it’s like I can breathe again. She’s my air. She doesn’t try to control me or stand on my coat tails. She stands beside me. Jae-Eun is my partner. I never loved you the way I love her.”

Mi-Sun approached him again. “How could you say that after everything we have been through. I messed up, I know I did. But I still love you and I still want to be with you.”

Kyungsoo backed away again, “Why are you telling me this now? After I said I’m in love and happy.”

Kyungsoo made quick eye contact with the camera.

“Because I’m not happy and I miss you. It kills me that I sent you into someone else’s arms.”

He huffed, “You van stop how. I don’t believe a word you say. All you know how to do is lie.”

Mi-Sun threw herself at him then, grabbing onto his lapels, pulling him down, plastering her lips to his.

Kyungsoo pushed her back, “Yoo Mi-Sun!”

But she flung her arms around his neck pulling him back down keeping him locked there.

His hands grabbed her hips and pushed against her. Then the door slammed.

 Jae-Eun watched herself step out of her heels, stalk over to them and plant her fist in Mi-Suns face.

Jongdae released a loud, “ooohhh,” as M-Sun fell to the ground.

But Jae kept her eyes on Kyungsoo as she grabbed her around the waist and stopped her from attacking. His focus seemed to be more on her than the bleeding woman on the floor of his office. Then he jerked a few tissues from the box and knelt down, presenting the tissue to Mi-Sun between two fingers, turning away as soon as she took it.

Jae-Eun had been wrong. It wasn’t like their wedding day when he had run to Mi-Sun’s side worried for her wellbeing. He seemed annoyed to have had to help her. Kyungsoo was curt and called her director instead of by her name. But it could just be that he was at work and was trying to be professional given the situation.

Then he told Jae-Eun to go home.

The door slammed a second time.

Kyungsoo picked up the black binder and walked behind his desk.

Taking he seat he spoke. “You should go to the hospital and have that checked out. I’ll go over your numbers and conduct the meeting without you.”

He slid his glasses back on to look over the papers.

“Not until you call the authorities, Kyungsoo. That woman is crazy.”

“You expect me to call the police on my own wife. Are you out of your mind?”

“You saw her attack me. She’s out of control. I’m sure my nose is broken.” She pushed him as she stood up.

“And tell them what exactly? She walked in on you sexually harassing her husband. Are you planning on explaining that to the police?”

“It was just a kiss, Kyungsoo.”

“One that was unwanted and unsolicited.” He fumed, “Your nose is still bleeding, you should really focus on taking care of that.”

He skimmed through the binder, not showing her much attention. He sounded disinterested in anything Mi-Sun was saying.

“Kyungsoo…”

“I’m not calling the police on Jae-Eun. If you decide to pursue this further then I’m just going to have to file a complaint of my own.”

“Kyungsoo, if you love me you will…”

“I don’t love you,” Kyungsoo’s voice boomed across his office. “And I’m done feeling responsible for you and your son.”

Mi-Sun gawked.

“Now go get yourself checked out, send the bill to Secretary Yoon, and leave me and my wife alone.”

“Kyungsoo…” She pushed again.

He dropped the binder and picked up his phone. “Secretary Yoon, could you call a driver for Director Yoo. She needs to make a trip to the hospital. Thank you.”

He replaced the receiver and looked back at Mi-Sun.

“They are expecting you Director.” Kyungsoo spoke to Mi-Sun with the same disdain he had shown Jae-Eun when they were first together.

Mi-Sun huffed, but she turned and stomped out of his office.

Kyungsoo picked the binder back up just before the video cut off.

 Jae-Eun sat in silence. Her brain didn’t seem to be working. The information didn’t want to process correctly.

Jondae spoke up, “And now I remember why we never liked her.”

Jae-Eun came to her feet. Her mind wasn’t working but her body propelled her forward.

“Where are you going?” Jongdae asked as she pulled her keys out of the dish by the door and changed from her slippers to her shoes.

“I was wrong. I have to go. I need to go home.”

She didn’t wait for a response before she was out the door and in the elevator. The ride down took centuries, time for her head to catch up with her heart.

Jae had only seen and heard what she had expected to, hot what really happened. She hadn’t noticed the blandness of his voice when he spoke to Mi-Sun, the disinterest. She didn’t notice his body language. The way his hands were pushing at her hips not pulling her to him. Hw he’d knelt just to pass along the tissue, not to make sure she was okay.

Kyungsoo had been right those months ago when he told her she had one foot out the door. Jae thought her insecurities were fading, but the moment Mi-Sun posed any kind of threat, Jae had been prepared to flee. God how could she ever make up for what she put him through for the past two weeks.

When the elevator opened, she burst through the doors taking the lobby at a jog. It was a risk with her stomach on overdrive, but she didn’t care.

Jae kept her speed outside to find her car, only she noticed the one in the building looked like Kyungsoo’s.

Jae-Eun slowed her pace as she recognized the figure in the driver seat. Hands gripping tow and ten, his forehead pressed against the steering wheel, Kyungsoo’s shoulders heaved. He hadn’t even made it out of the parking lot yet.

She laughed, tears pouring in torrents. Her idiot husband, the love of the life, was crying in his car.

She came around to his door and knocked on his window. He jumped, lifting his head, his eyes widened when he saw her.

Jae-Eun stepped back as he jumped out of the car.

“Is everything okay? What’s wrong? Do you need to go back to the hospital?” he bombarded her with questions.

She laughed through a sob as he brought her hands up to wipe the tears away from Kyungsoo’s cheeks. A red spot lined his forehead from where it had rested on the steering wheel.

“Are you really going to make your pregnant wife pack her bags by herself?” She cried.

Kyungsoo stammered, “you… You’re coming home?”

She nodded her head and Kyungsoo wrapped her up in his arms.

“I’m so sorry I didn’t believe you.”

“No, I’m sorry,” he inserted, “I will never do anything to make you doubt me again. I love you so much and I should have told you.”

“You were right, I was so insecure, I thought you would leave me for her, and I didn’t see what was really happening.”

Kyungsoo laughed. “You are stuck with me now. I have my wonderful wife and a baby on the way. I will never leave you. Not for anything.”

He peppered her face with kisses, and Jae-Eun giggled at the gesture.

“Can we just be happy now. Madam Do?”

Jae-Eun agreed, “at least until I have to throw up again.”

His smile faded in concern, “Is it that bad?”

Kyungsoo draped his arm around her shoulder as he turned them back to the building.

“Oh my God, it’s so bad.” She replied as they started back to the building. “So you liked me in high school.”

“I did. And I have a feeling you’re not going to let me live that down.”

“Nope, it’s forever ammo.”

  It was warm, familiar, and safe when she woke, surrounded by objects and smells she was accustomed to. Kyungsoo lay, still sleeping, next to her, his face obscured in a tangle of her hair, his hand splayed out protectively over her belly.

The happy feeling lasted all of ten seconds before her stomach had her making a run for the bathroom. Jae-Eun barely made it to the toilet before emptying her stomach, then dry heaving for a solid five minutes. At some point her hair was pulled away from her face and a toasty hand rubbed comfort into her back.

When she was finally done, she crawled over, propping herself up against the wall. Kyungsoo wet down a wash cloth and handed it to her as she took the floor in front of her.

“Good morning, beautiful.” He smiled lightly at her.

Jae wiped her face and neck down.

“This is not exactly how you pictured you saying that to me.” She told him.

“How exactly did you picture it?”

“I don’t know, wrapped up in each other’s arms in bed when we first wake up in the morning. Definitely not while I’m covered in sweat, tears, and vomit on the bathroom floor.”

Kyungsoo took the cloth back patting it around her face.

“Well you are growing my baby. You look beautiful even on the floor covered in sweat, tears and vomit.”

“Now you’re just kissing my ass.” She teased.

“And I will continue to do so. At least for the next eight or so months.” He explained, helping her to her feet slowly, “Are you sure you want to go to work today. You can take a leave of absence or work from home.”

She shook her head lightly, “I want to keep things as normal as possible for as long as possible.”

Kyungsoo didn’t like it, but he agreed.

Getting breakfast to stay down was challenging. Nari hovered over her, jumping at every move. Kyungsoo wasn’t any better.

They both thought it was better to wait a while to announce the news to the company, so Kyungsoo had a member of the cleaning staff assigned solely to her office. One under instructions to keep her condition a secret.

Jae-Eun felt bad for the woman. The biggest part of the time she only dry heaved, but she had to force fluids or be at risk of dehydration again. So, the woman was kept busy.

Jae-Eun mostly stayed to her work and was able to keep control while she spoke with her staff, but half way through the day she knew it would be difficult to do this for very long.

She was scanning through the slide prints for the new ad pitch when her phone rang.

“Lee Jae-Eun.” She rattled off, her head still in the slides.

“Have you been able to keep any thing down?” Kyungsoo’s voice came across the receiver.

“Yes dear.” She teased.

"I'm going to bring lunch up down in a bit. We can eat together so I can be there if you get sick." He asked.

"Mmm" she agreed.

"I thought I should let you know, she is here today. I didn’t think she would show, but she clocked in." Kyungsoo warned her. Again, the disdain he had shown Jae-Eun when they were first married was thick in his throat as he spoke about Mi-Sun.

Jae-Eun smiled. She never though he would speak to her with such love while referring to Mi-Sun with distaste and annoyance.��

"Are you okay baby?" His smooth baritone sang to her across the line. 

"Absolutely," she said with the confidence of a woman who knew where her man stood. "I'm not worried. She will likely keep her head down and finish her last day. I'm looking forward to lunch. Well kind of anyways."

She wanted to have lunch with Kyungsoo, but was not looking forward to the eventual, barf session.

He showed up some time later with a bowl of broth and crackers. 

" I figured we could start off simple and see what will be easier on your stomach. Also, it said if you eat smaller more frequent meals and snack, it may help control the sickness some." He explained.

"Look at you, doing your research." She doted.

"You are already going to go through so much, I want to make things as easy as possible. Secretary Yoon was able to get a hold of everyone. So we have the weekend with all the guy and the family to tell them the news.”

They had plan to tell their immediate family, only that also extended to Kyungsoo’s brothers... all eight of them. 

Broth and crackers were not easy.

She had to send him back to his office. Kyungsoo had an important meeting after lunch, but he didn’t want to leave with her feeling sick.

The remainder of the day was quiet. So far, the first day back had been relatively easy. Her staff were competent enough that she didn’t have to hover or micromanage.

Everyone else had left for the day and Jae had finished editing slides, when she decided to head home. She grabbed her bag out of her desk and when she stood, a figure at the door had her jumping.

Mi-Sun stood just inside her office.

“Mrs. Yoo, it’s not polite to lurk in some one’s doorway.” Jae-Eun chastised.

She stood with her keys and pushed her chair into her desk.

“You think you won.” Mi-Sun murmured.

“Won what exactly? I’m not playing a game Mi-Sun. This is my life. I don’t have time for games.”

Mi-Sun snickered. “He may think he loves you now. But he will come back to me. He always comes back to me.”

Jae-Eun didn’t falter. She shrugged. “I don’t think so. But if he does then I hope the two of you are happy together.”

“You are a smug little bitch, turning your nose up at everyone. You don’t want to admit that you can’t control him.”

“I don’t want to control him. I like him just the way he is. If he wants to be controlled, I’m sure he’ll go find you again. And I don’t turn my nose up at anyone, I just don’t have to patience to deal with immaturity and drama. I never have and he knows it.” Jae-Eun remarked.

“He only wants you for your money.”

“No, Mi-Sun that’s you.”

The woman huffed.

Jae recognized Mi-Sun’s last-ditch effort to get between her and Kyungsoo. It wouldn’t work this time. Kyungsoo’s feelings were clear in his behavior. If he still had feelings for Mi-Sun he wouldn’t have sent her away. No, Kyungsoo was done with her. And Jae-Eun wouldn’t fall for her tricks.

“You can believe what you want, but he won’t ever forget me.”

“Probably not, and most likely not in a good light. But there is something I want to send you away with.” Jae-Eun shortened the distance between them.

Mi-Sun raised an eyebrow.

“Before you, before your lies, before he loved you, there was me. For longer than you could even imagine. He was mine first.”

Mi-Sun seethed. The look in her eyes were dangerous, but Jae-Eun wasn’t intimidated.

“What’s going on here.” Kyungsoo’s voice came from behind Mi-Sun.

“Oh, Kyungsoo, I was just apolo…” Mi-Sun started.

She trailed off as Kyungsoo passed her without a look and came to Jae-Eun’s side.

“Mi-Sun was saying her goodbyes.” Jae-Eun told him.

The woman was flustered. Especially when Kyungsoo wrapped his arm around Jae-Eun’s shoulders, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

“Are you okay.” His hand came to her belly.

“We’re okay.” Jae-Eun whispered, covering his hand with hers.

“So, your pregnant.” Mi-Sun demanded.

At this point, Jae-Eun was finished with this woman.

“That is none of your business.” She snapped. “Now get the hell out of our building. You no longer work here.”

Mi-Sun whined, “Kyungsoo.”

“You heard her.” He remarked.

Mi-Sun huffed as she turned and stomped to the elevators.

Kyungsoo and Jae-Eun watched as she disappeared.

He turned wrapping his other arm around her, his lips brushed against hers gently.

“She will be in Busan tomorrow. And completely out of our lives.”

Jae shook her head, “Not completely. She will always be a part of our story. But it’s a chapter we can close now.”

“And keep closed… forever.”

“Sounds good to me.”

Kyungsoo released her shoulders, he took her hand in his.

“I have something for you.”

He wrapped his fingers around her wedding band, pulled it from her finger and held it up.

“This is the ring I gave to a woman who was arranged to marry me.” He tossed the ring on her desk and pulled a box out of his jacket. He produced another ring from the box and held it up to her. It was a simple band just like she preferred, silver and rose gold with a row of small diamonds inlayed across the middle.

“This is the ring I had made for the woman I choose the spend the rest of my life with.” He slid the ring on. “I love you, so no more arrangement. Just be my wife.”

Jae-Eun held her hand up and studied the ring.

“I kind of miss my quiet husband who, wasn’t so sappy and emotional.”

Kyungsoo pursed his lips and narrowed her eyes. “It’s all your fault. You opened the flood gates.”

“That I did,” she smiled, “I love you too, real husband.”

She wrapped her arms around his neck taking his lips with complete abandon. He followed, even though her office door was open.

Once they were both breathless, Kyungsoo pressed his forehead against hers.

“Let’s go home.” He whispered.

“Home it is.”

  authors note: It’s been a long ride with this fic. I want to thank everyone that stuck with me though the droughts and all of the love and support I received while writing it. The Arrangement may be over but the Chaebols series is not and Jae and Soo will show up again. 

[xratedffbarbiex]

Say It Teaser.

If you’ve read Shhhh, you’ll recognise so much of this, but it’s told from Antoine’s POV. 

So many of you have expressed that you miss them and want to see more of them, and this is something that I’d been working on shortly after I’d finished the first part of their story.

If you want to see more of this, give this a like or drop me an ask! 

___________

“Aaaaaantoine,” she sings through the door. She’s been drinking, I know this. Her voice always turns raspy when she does and she’s slurring the only word she’s said so far. “What’s up?” My brother asks. He’s seen my expression and the way I hesitate. “Is it her again?” he laughs and I watch him rub his face with his hand. He’s slightly buzzed; he’s been sipping from beer bottles all night and he’s been a welcomed distraction from the shit show that’s my life. “How many times is this?” “Twice in as many weeks.” I reply as I sigh. “Baby? Are you theeeere?” She calls again. “Don’t let her in. Be a bad bitch like Dua Lipa told you to! New Rules and all that.” Theo shouts as I put the laptop down and hit mute, silencing my mic and making sure he can’t hear anything. He’ll hate it and demand to know what happened tomorrow but that gives me time to make up something.

She’s leaning against the doorframe when I open the door, her eyes are blurred but she looks hot, I can’t deny that. I don’t know how long she’s been out there or if anyone else on the street has noticed. “There he is…my handsome baby.” “I’m not your baby.” I can smell the alcohol coming off her in waves. She’s completely intoxicated. She laughs, the smell of the booze has me blinking several times before I look back at her as I wonder how far over the limit she is. “Yeah you are. You’re mine and you know it.” “You ended things remember?” “And if I was to…” She trails off, running her hand up my thigh. My dick thinks before my mind does and I hate that what she’s doing works. I close my hand over hers as blood rushes there and begins to make it harden, “but you’re getting fun to play with.” “I don’t want you to play with me.” I try to reason. “But your friend does.” She grins, her speech pulls together and she’s no longer slurring, though her eyes are still glassy. “Don’t you want me to suck that big cock of yours?” When she bites her lip, I almost change my mind. “No.” “Yes you do and we both know it.” She answers in a sing song tone. “Let me in baby, you know you want to.” “We broke up,” I say harsher and for the first time, I’m not trying to convince myself at the same time. I laugh with frustration and say her name. “You can’t keep coming back here whenever you’ve been out with whoever and come crawling back to me.” “I know. I won’t try anything, I just want to sleep next to you. Pleeeeeease, you’re my safe place Anto.” And against my better judgement, I let her in.

---

She’s embarrassed when she comes downstairs the next morning. She’s wearing one of my shirts which barely covers her ass and I try my best not to look. “Sorry about last night.” She curls up on the sofa and looks at me. “I know I have to stop doing this.” “Then why do you?” She picks at something on her thigh, so she isn’t looking at me and shrugs. “I don’t know. Every time I tell myself not to keep doing this to you, I still do it. I like you, y’know.” She gives me a sad smile and I scratch my cheek as I look away from her. I need a shave. “Antoine, I do. I see what you want from me and I get scared and I run. And then I remember how good it feels to be here and I know it’s what I want. The type of love you can give me. I just…it’s scary ok? Part of me wants to say can we try again, can we take things slower and not just jump back into things like we keep doing and then the other part of me is like hey wanna meet my parents because they’ve asked about you and I’d actually really like it. I’m conflicted.” “You’ve spoken to your parents about me?” I can’t keep the shock from my voice. I didn’t think she would have told many people about us. She liked to keep me away, hidden like a dirty secret or something. “Yeah, my sister will be there too. Not to add any pressure.” She adds quickly. “We tend to have dinner together every other week or as often as we can. It’s harder with me going to Uni to see everyone so it’s an excuse to meet up.” “The whole family huh?” “Only if you’ll consider it. I really am sorry that I’ve been such a bitch Antoine. You don’t deserve it” “But part of you doesn’t want to be that intimate with me just yet.” I still say, unsure why that makes my stomach sink a little when I’m not even sure if I want to get back on this rollercoaster again. “It’s next week. You haven’t even said if you wanted to try again but, I’ll leave the thought with you and if you do, let me know? I just know there’s something telling me that you have to be in my life so I can’t keep running from this.”

--

[holidaywishes]

Aurora

Part ten: Aurora

  Summary: Baby girl Matthews is born

  Author’s Note: Well here it is! The final chapter. The Finale, the grand daddy if you will. I’ve finished my thesis, my brain was a little clearer and the votes were in! I was surprised by how close it actually was but Aurora was the winner! I thought both names were beautiful so I was happy either way but I kind of agree that this one seemed to fit a little better -- so good on all of you! Anyway, it’s going to be quite long to tie up a couple story lines and hopefully leave everyone satisfied. Enjoy!!

  P.S.: I almost cried like three times when I was writing this… so, take that as you will.

  P.P.S.: I want to stress that I don’t know anything about pregnancy or childbirth so none of the information/timelines are like legitimately accurate. I did some research but it’s far from being factual from what would actually happen.

  Warning: I’ll put a trigger warning here just in case for talk of abuse and pregnancy complications/stillbirth, birth, swearing, fluff? Love/hard fluff at the end, I’m sorry! I had to add in some angst!! For old times sake!

  Song Credit: You Are My Sunshine -- Kina Grannis and Golden Slumbers (Acoustic) -- The Beatles/Dua Lipa

  masterlist

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  You thought you could handle pain pretty well. You’d had enough of it in your lifetime to understand how to handle it. But there was a difference between being lashed and whipped and your body preparing itself to push a baby out of your vagina.

  “How are you doing sweetie?” Christina said as she slowly walked in the room with Patty right behind her

  “Oh you know…” you glared at them, “I’ve had better days”

  “Auston says it’s almost time though” Patty smiled

  “I can’t do it anymore,” you whined, forcing your head back against the pillows, “I thought I could handle the pain but I can’t. I feel like my insides are being torn apart and everything is on fire. I need the nurse or the doctor…”

  “You’ll be fine, here, we’ll get the nurse,” Christina added sympathetically, “you’re gonna be a Mommy.” You returned the smile she gave you before another contraction consumed you and the nurse walked in, Mitch and Stephanie trailing shortly behind her

  “How are you feeling (Y/N)?” Your doctor asked as she came to the side of the bed

  “Give me the drugs,” you shouted desperately, jerking your head when you heard Mitch giggle, “this is not the time Marner. You wanna giggle, do it on your own time and you best make sure it’s not about me because I’m in a lot of fucking pain right now and I am irritated and I am not afraid to throw you through a window!” Mitch’s eyes grew wide, his skin pale, and you went back to the doctor to see if she’d subdue your pain 

  “I can see where you’re at but I’m sorry dear, it might be too late for the epidural”

  “Are you telling me you can’t take this excruciating pain away? That I’ll have to feel everything?!”

  “If you’re fully dilated, we’ll have to take you into delivery and there’s nothing I can do. I’m sorry (Y/N)...”

  “Where’s Auston?” you asked the group, everyone shaking their heads and looking around the room, “GET ME THE FUCKING FATHER OF MY CHILD!!!!”

  “I’m here baby, I’m here,” he said, sliding into the room and finding his place at your side, “I was just getting you some ice chips” he smiled at you gently and you gave him a small smile in return

  “Aww, that’s so sweet, isn’t he sweet? aww thank you for the ice chips baby,” you said before throwing the cup of ice across the room, “I don’t want anymore fucking ice chips. I don’t want your sweet words either Matthews! I want everyone in this room gone, I want the doctor to tell me I can take the epidural so I don’t have to deliver this baby in pain, or anymore pain than necessary, I want you to understand how much I fucking hate you right now! For doing this to me. I hope you’re happy. You wanted a daughter, you wanted a precious baby girl? Well fuck you!” You watched as everyone scattered out of the room, presumably into the waiting area, before your eyes focused back on Auston who looked terrified of you 

  “Okay babe, deep breaths, remember the classes we took” he tried but you just growled at him

  “It looks like you’re still at nine centimetres, so I can grab the anesthesiologist to give you the epidural” your doctor announced, hurrying as to not upset you but not before you started to cry

  “I’m sorry Auston,” you sobbed, “I just.. I just.. It hurts so bad and I don’t think I can do this… I thought I could but I can’t. I just want it to be over”

  “I know baby and it will be, just a little bit longer. We’re so close, but we just have to decide on a name. Okay? that’ll keep us busy,” he said, sitting down and smoothing the hair off your face, “I love you so much (Y/N)” 

  “Can you do this for me?” you joked, tears still streaming down your face

  “No sweetheart, I wish I could,” he smiled, pressing a kiss to your forehead, “I wish I could take this pain from you but this is something you have to do. And you’re going to be so amazing, I know it. Because you’re amazing everyday and this little girl, she’s going to be just like her mama. Strong and stubborn and powerful and amazing. For the rest of her life”

  “Don’t do that” you cried

  “What?” Auston asked, confused

  “Don’t put that pressure on her,” you complained, eyes held tightly together as your lip quivered, “she’s not even here yet. Let her make her own mistakes and her own choices. If she’s not amazing, then that’s okay. But you have to love her anyways!” 

  “Of course I will. She’ll be amazing no matter what,” he replied, noting that you were probably getting delirious from the pain and lack of sleep, “did you decide on a name?” Just as she was about to answer, the anesthesiologist came in and prepared you for the needle. Once you got the epidural, you were a much more pleasant person to deal with and you welcomed guests in as they greeted you, asking about a name and how you were feeling and lying about how “good” you looked. Your contractions were getting closer and closer together but thankfully the epidural seemed to lessen the pain enough for you to talk to Auston’s parents calmly and sweetly.

  “Thank you so much” you smiled, clearly delirious from the long hours at the hospital, “for being here. You didn’t have to come, it’s nice that you’re here and I really appreciate it, but you didn’t have to be here. But thank you.” Ema and Brian gave each other a quick glance and laughed at your ramblings

  “We wouldn’t miss this for the world, girlie,” Brian said softly, “we love you”

  “So much, Mija” Ema added and your eyes welled with tears

  “Thank you for raising such an amazing son. He’s so kind and so gentle and so patient with me,” you sobbed as Auston took your hand and you turned to look at him, continuing your praise, “he’s so good and I’ve never met anyone like him. And he owes all of that to both of you.” You looked over to see Ema begin to tear up before a big smile took over her face

  “Thank you,” she started and you gave her a confused look, “for loving him. For taking care of him when we can’t. For being such an incredible woman. You’ll be an amazing mother to our grandchild.”

  “Okay, enough,” Auston interrupted, “no more tears. This is a happy day. You’re all too emotional, come on Mom, Dad, let’s get you back into the waiting area.” He kissed your forehead just as your Doctor entered the room

  “You feeling dilated yet?”

  “Nadia, Doc, I think I’m ready to go,” you said, with a giggle, before feeling faint, “I don’t even really feel pain anym--” You heard your doctor call some nurses into the room as she called for you to stay awake but you couldn’t lift your eyes open; not even when you heard Auston call out to you.

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Auston’s P.O.V.

  “What’s going on?” you asked in a panicked tone

  “She’s hemorrhaging”

  “What happened?” Stephanie asked from behind you 

  “We’re not sure yet,” the doctor replied and you gasped, how could they not know?! “all that matters right now is making sure she doesn’t lose too much blood. We’re going to have to do a c-section”

  “How come she didn’t feel anything? Or did she?”

  “It’s hard to say, the epidural could’ve disrupted the amount of discomfort she was feeling. She could’ve thought it was just contractions,” she said, rubbing your arm to reassure you, “she’s going to be fine and so will your daughter. I have to get back to her..” Your mind was racing and you didn’t know what to do or what to think. Had you done this? Did you stress her too much? Was it too late for her to have gotten the epidural?

  “Auston, she’s going to be okay” Christina said, bringing you in for a hug and you noticed the waiting room had filled with most of the team

  “But what if she’s not?”

  “She will be”

  “I think I need some air.” You ran off to find an exit to get away from the team so you could let the tears fall down your face

  “Matts?” Freddie’s voice called out from behind you

  “I just need a sec, Fred, okay?” 

  “Talk to me”

  “I can’t”

  “Let’s just sit then.” You turned around and saw him directing you the bench beside you; you hesitantly followed his lead. Both of you sat there for a while, in complete silence, before you couldn’t stand it anymore and you burst into tears

  “What do I do man?” Your hands rushed to cover your face and you leaned forward, feeling Freddie’s hand rubbing your shoulder

  “She’s strong, Auston, she’ll make it through this and still have the energy to tell some really awful joke that she thinks is hilarious”

  “Just like Mo” you laughed

  “And Mitchy” Fred added

  “I don’t know, Freddie, I’m scared. She doesn’t deserve this. The pregnancy had gone so well, everything was normal. Every checkup she was fine, she was healthy. Sure, there were moments of stress throughout but nothing that would cause this…” You gestured toward the hospital doors, leaning your face back into the palms of your hands

  “You wanna know what I thought when you first introduced me to her?”

  “Go for it” 

  “What is she doing with him?”

  “Gee thanks…” You sighed and Freddie just laughed

  “No I’m serious. Everything just seemed like it was some kind of extravagant façade. Like you wanted us to think you were in a relationship, so you hired some girl, who was way out of your league, to pretend with you. But then, she kept coming around. And she attached to your hip like a magnet. And her eyes never left yours. And she smiled every time you were around and every time you looked at her. So, we got to know her and she was legit. But she was funny and smart and witty and confident in a way that didn’t make her seem like a complete bitch. She was ambitious, she knew what she wanted and she wasn’t afraid to go for it. At that point I was even more confused as to how you convinced her to go out with you,” he laughed again as you straightened up next to him, “but she handled us like we were nothing. A group of 30 hockey players, twice her size, and she never flinched when she had to defend herself against our… criticisms”

  “What does this have to do with her having an involuntary c-section right now?” 

  “She’s going to make it through this, with a beautiful baby girl, and be all the stronger for it. She’s already strong but she’s not just fighting for her, she’s fighting for the life that she’s created. The life that she didn’t know how much she wanted until she heard the first heartbeat. The life that’s equal parts her and you.” His words made you feel a little better but you still couldn’t help the few tears that escaped; you expected Fred to get up and give you some space but he just stayed where he was, unflinching, and let you cry without judgement.

  “Fuck dude, I don’t know what I’m gonna do if I lose her” you fell back into the bench

  “Don’t think like that”

  “But I have to. I have to think about what happens if I lose (Y/N) but the baby is okay. What if I can’t let go of it and I unintentionally blame the baby?”

  “You won’t, you’re not that kind of guy…”

  “I’ve never been in that situation. I’ve never loved anyone like I love (Y/N) and losing her would kill me”

  “But you’d get to see a part of (Y/N) in your daughter”

  “But won’t that hurt more?” you argued, “getting to see (Y/N) but not actually see her?”

  “Sure, it’ll hurt. And so would losing the baby, but you’d get through it”

  “How?”

  “With a little help from us. The team, your friends, your family…” he turned to you, “but it doesn’t matter. Because you’re not going to lose either of them.” You thanked Freddie just as the doctor came out to find you and you ran back into the hospital toward the waiting area

  “Nadia?” you asked, “what’s happening?” She gathered you and your parents to explain what was happening and the rest of the group slowly gathered around the three of you as well

  “I think it would be better if the four of us talked alone, Auston, don’t you?”

  “They’re family” you stated plainly and Nadia sighed deeply before reluctantly agreeing

  “Alright,” she looked at the large group in front of her before training her eyes on you, “we know why she hemorrhaged. The ultrasound must have been misread or misinterpreted because she was pregnant with twins--”

  “Twins?”

  “Oh my god!” Christina gasped, a tinge of excitement in her voice before Nadia looked sharply at her and she knew there was no cause for excitement

  “The baby was stillborn and it caused her blood pressure to spike and her to hemorrhage,” your eyes fell to the floor as the doctor continued to speak, “the second heartbeat is still strong, which is great, but (Y/N)’s heart rate is alarmingly slow”

  “Can I do anything?” you asked desperately

  “Auston--”

  “There has to be something I can do, anything, even if it’s small.” You looked around at your teammates; some had tears streaming down their cheeks, some looked like they wanted to punch a wall, the rest were watching your every move

  “Auston, maybe we can just… pray?” Mitch said, still quiet, to break the silence

  “What? No!” you yelled

  “Papí, please…” your dad tried to calm you

  “No, I need to see her. Maybe if I’m there, and she hears me, it’ll help…” You were practically begging and Nadia sympathized with you, telling you to follow her and handing you a set of scrubs before you were allowed to enter the room. You stared into the small glass window and saw (Y/N) on the operating table and your heart dropped but you knew you had to get in there

  “Mr. Matthews?” one of the nurses came to grab you, pulling you out of your shock and you followed her in, making your way quickly to (Y/N); grabbing her hand and sobbing when you felt how limp and cold it was.

  “Hey baby,” you whispered into her ear, “I’m right here. Everything’s gonna be okay now, our baby’s heartbeat is strong. We just need yours to be a little stronger okay baby?” You leaned your head close to hers, almost connecting your forehead with hers when one of the nurses said you couldn’t

  “No skin to skin contact” her eyes were filled with worry for you and (Y/N), making your eyes well up but you just nodded and squeezed (Y/N)’s hand tighter

  “You wanna hear a story?” you whispered once more, noticing Nadia and the nurses in the room shift their eyes to you, but you moved her hand closer to your chest and continued, “I always knew I wanted kids, always, I thought I wanted a boy so I could teach him how to play hockey and baseball and do the typical father-son stuff. But then I saw you and all I wanted was to be near you. Whatever that meant. Even if I couldn’t be with you, I just wanted you around because you gave me butterflies and made me nervous and I can’t imagine my life without those butterflies -- without you. When you told me that you weren’t sure you wanted to have kids, I had to think about what I wanted more -- you or a baby. It was always you, (Y/N). I could live with never have a child if it meant I got to be with you but then our lives turned upside down when you found out you were pregnant and I know it was complicated at first. But if I’m being honest, my heart was beating out of my chest when you told me because I was the luckiest guy in the whole world to know that I would get the love of my life and a beautiful baby who looked just like her.” You looked up at the clock as a tear fell down your face, you’d been in the hospital for nearly 13 hours and it would be sunrise soon, “(Y/N), please, come back to me…”

  “Alright, I think we’ve got her!” Nadia called out and you jumped up in excitement, thinking they were talking about (Y/N), soon realizing your baby girl was finally in the world, “okay Auston, I’m sorry. You need to go now--”

  “Wait… What? No..” you stammered, “what about my daughter? Why can’t I see her?”

  “It’s okay, listen, it’s going to be okay,” one of the nurses directed you out of the operating room as you watched intently as Nadia began working on (Y/N), “you’ll see your daughter soon, I promise. We have to focus on (Y/N) and everything will be much easier to navigate if we have a little more space.”

  “What’s happening?”

  “Trust us”

  “What’s happening?!” you yelled 

  “Trust us!” she countered before storming back into the operating room and you fell back against the wall, crumpling to the floor with your head in your hands as the sun shone through the thick, tinted window next to you.

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  You woke up, exhausted, to find Auston huddled beside you; his head on your arm and his two hands holding your one. You had no recollection of what happened until you took in the room where you were -- that same Giraffe in a tutu -- and you wondered where your baby was.

  “Where is she?” you muttered breathlessly

  “(Y/N)? Oh my god, baby,” Auston jumped up and kissed your forehead, quickly moving his lips to yours to capture you in a kiss and you felt a tear run down his face, “I love you so much!”

  “Where’s our baby girl?” you repeated, just as quietly as before, and Auston pressed his forehead against yours, “what’s wrong?”

  “You scared me…” he answered, a small tear falling from his eye onto your cheek

  “What do you mean?”

  “You weren’t doing so well for a minute there. I almost lost you…” You could tell his lip was quivering, leading you to bring your hand up to cup his cheek and he leaned into your touch

  “Everything’s okay now baby” You said, pressing a kiss to his cheek before he got up to walk across the room. You watched as he leaned over a bassinet and cooed to the little one inside, he gently picked her up and you heard a small cry before he calmed her down and brought her over to you

  “(Y/N), I think it’s time you met your daughter,” seeing Auston with her made you burst into tears and he tried to stop you, “oh no, what’s wrong?”

  “Look at the two of you…” you cooed, “you’re so comfortable with her. She’s so tiny…”

  “Isn’t it incredible?”

  “Our baby girl,” Auston slowly passed her over to you and you finally got to hold her, her little hands wrapping around your finger, “hello little one. I know you, yes I do. Do you remember me?”

  “Did you know that Aurora means sunrise?” Auston asked and you looked up at him, eyes still stinging with tears as your daughter clutched your finger, “and our little girl was born at sunrise?”

  “It’s fate. Our little Aurora, our beautiful sunrise.” You looked back at your little girl, leaning in to press your forehead against hers like you’d done so many times with Auston; amazed that something so tiny could come into this world.

  “She’s perfect”

  “She really is isn’t she?” you watched her eyelids flutter as she fell asleep, “you’re gonna be so annoyed at us, liten en. We’re going to sing to you and give you a bunch of silly clothes and Maple Leafs onesies. Baby girl, you don’t even know how much you’re loved. There’s a whole team of bodyguards waiting to protect you. I pity the man who tries to date you, miss Aurora.” You laughed and kissed the top of her head before looking up at Auston, whose eyes were red and welled up with tears

  “I should actually go let them know you’re awake, I’ll be right back” he kissed your temple and wiped away a tear as he left the room. You waited for Auston to bring in some visitors but, after about 15 minutes, no one came; leaving you confused and a little concerned.

  “What’s taking daddy so long, huh?” you sat up, trying to look out the door when Aurora let out a whimper and you tried to stop her from crying

  “You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are grey. You’ll never know dear, how much I love you. Please, don’t take my sunshine away. The other night dear, as I lay sleepin’, I dreamt I held you in my arms. When I awoke dear, I was mistaken. So I hung my--”

  Suddenly, you felt very hollow and you noticed just how quiet the room was. Your eyes filled with tears again but they weren’t happy like before and you noticed Auston leaning against the door with Nadia.

  “Auston? Nadia?” you wept, “what happened?”

  “Let me put Aurora back into the bassinet okay?” Auston spoke first and Nadia came to your bedside

  “So, how are you feeling?” she asked, you tilted your head as tears continued from your eyes, “right. You had some complications, more blood lost than we thought would happen and we had to do an emergency c-section.” You noticed Auston sit in the chair next to the bed, but he wasn’t looking at you and you were growing more and more concerned, “(Y/N), you were pregnant with twins…”

  “What? No, the ultrasounds, the doctors, everyone said it was a girl. I have my baby…”

  “Something or someone must have misinterpreted the ultrasound or one of the babies was hiding. It happens sometimes, but not to this extent”

  “This extent? Meaning to the extent that no one knows they’re having twins?” You asked and Nadia nodded, “what happened?”

  “You.. I’m sorry (Y/N) your baby was stillborn,” the word took the air out of your lungs but your doctor continued, “luckily, your daughter was strong and healthy and we were able to bring her into the world and bring you.. back.” You stared at your hands for a minute before feeling Auston’s hand cover yours and you were at a loss of what to do or say. You blinked rapidly as you looked up at Nadia, who, herself, was at a loss of a way to comfort you; she walked over to Aurora and slowly lifted her out from where she slept, “best thing for you and baby right now is skin-to-skin contact. It’ll make her feel safe and it will help the two of you connect…” Still in shock, you raised your eyes to meet Nadia as she brought Aurora to lie on your chest and you watched your baby’s chest rise and fall quickly, tears pooling in your eyes. 

  “Was it a girl or boy?”

  “(Y/N)...” Auston said, abruptly standing up, “we don’t ne--”

  “I wanna know” you argued, noticing Auston nod to Nadia and she turned to you

  “It was a girl” she said lightly, carefully, to ease the information onto you. You looked down at Aurora and smiled 

  “You had a sister, baby girl,” you whispered, unsure of anything else to add and you turned to Auston whose eyes were red from tears, “I don’t want her to feel like we don’t love her, Auston, just because her sister is gone. I don’t want her to think that we look at her and only see this sad thing that happened…”

  “We won’t,” he answered as Nadia left the room, “do we tell her about her sister?”

  “When she’s older, maybe. We can cross that bridge when we come to it” 

  “Should we name her?” he glanced at you, sitting down when he noticed the tear fall down the side of your cheek

  “I can’t” you said and Auston nodded, leaning his forehead against yours before looking at his daughter on your chest

  “She’s beautiful” Auston smiled with tears in his eyes and you smiled up at him, planting a light kiss to his lips, careful not to wake the baby

  “And so peaceful.” Just then, the door burst open and Mitchy called out 

  “Uncle Mitchy is here, little Auro--”

  “Shhhhh” You and Auston shushed him, hoping that Aurora didn’t wake up only to be met by her loud cries

  “Look what you did, Uncle Mitchy,” Stephanie slapped her boyfriend’s shoulder, “sorry babe, we’ll go”

  “No, no, it’s okay,” you smiled, “I think Uncle Mitchy should meet baby Aurora and what better time than right now.” Auston laughed, picking her up and walking over to Mitch to pass her over. You noticed Mitch’s face fill with panic as he held your newborn daughter, bouncing her to try to subdue her cries and watched as Auston mirrored his bounce unconsciously, making you laugh quietly. 

  “How are you doing, (Y/N)?” Steph asked, laying a hand on your shoulder

  “I’m okay. Tired but okay.” For a while, your room was a carousel of people coming in and out and visiting with Auston and the baby, you and the baby and asking to hold the baby before finally saying goodbye and giving the next group of people their turn. Eventually, everyone made their way home and it was just you and Auston.

  “I’m so proud of you, you know that?” he spoke softly, “As much as you scared me, you were so strong and I am so proud of you.” Your chin quivered slightly at his words and you knew, in that moment, the three of you together was all you would ever need. Over the next few days, you bonded with Aurora and took time to sleep and recuperate when one of the nurses brought up postpartum depression when Auston was out of the room

  “It’s common, in these cases, for mothers to develop PPD. You’ve lost a baby and we just want to make sure we’re monitoring you properly”

  “I understand that it’s common and, believe me, I understand that you feel like I would be having a difficult time but I’m doing great with Aurora”

  “I know you are, (Y/N), and that’s so great. But in situations like these we just require a bit more.. assurance. Your husband is a great source for us and-”

  “Boyfriend. We’re not married…”

  “Oh. Sorry. Your boyfriend will keep us informed about your progress and you’ll have regular meetings with Dr. Wilson. She’ll make any necessary calls but there shouldn’t be any cause for concern.” You hadn’t thought there was any cause for concern until this conversation and now you wondered how, and when, PPD showed itself. Auston could tell there was something wrong when he finally came back into the room and when you told him, he tried to calm you -- saying it was just procedure.

  “I’m sure of it” he smiled 

  “When can we go home?”

  “Tomorrow,” he said quickly, “I checked” 

  “Wait..” you said, never having thought about this before, “which home do we go to?”

  “Oh wow…” his eyes shifted to the floor, realizing his place was ready and yours wasn’t, “we didn’t really think about that did we? We just kind of set everything up at mine…”

  “That’s fine. That’s okay. Mine will have stuff in it eventually but at least, for now, we have a crib and everything for Aurora. That’s all that matters right now.” Your response was unintentionally hasty but having the let’s move in together talk right now just seemed like bad timing. All you really wanted was a bed that didn’t smell like powder and a room that didn’t smell like medicine -- it didn’t matter where. 

  When you woke up the next morning, you saw your bags were packed and Auston holding Aurora in his arms and reading her a story; what sounded like Winnie the Pooh but you really couldn’t be sure.

  “Babe?” you asked, rubbing your eyes awake

  “Hey, look mommy’s awake,” he cooed to your daughter, “wanna say hi?”

  “Hi baby girl,” you chimed as he carried her to you, laying her in your arms, “how are you this morning, my beautiful girl?” 

  “I think she’s just as ready to go home as you are,” Auston laughed, rubbing his thumb across her soft head before pointing to the pile of clothes on your bed, “I’m gonna grab the car and pull it up front. One of the nurses said they’ll be in with a wheelchair in a minute so you should get dressed…”

  “Wait.. Auston, you can’t just” you started before he fled the room, “leave us alone…” You waited until the nurse came and she gladly watched Aurora while you got changed, where you had the first chance to look at your body after everything; noticing the c-section scar across your skin.

  “Mrs. Matthews? Everything okay in there?” the nurse called

  “It’s Miss (Y/L/N), and everything’s fine, I’ll be out in just a minute”

  “Hey,” you heard Auston ask breathlessly, presumably from running through the hospital, “everything okay? She wasn’t outside?”

  “I’m fine. I just couldn’t get dressed when there was no one here to watch the baby,” you said, exiting the bathroom, “what if something happened to her?” He smiled and apologized sarcastically before prompting you to get in the wheelchair so the three of you could make a break for it. When you got into the car, you watched Auston in the rearview mirror to make sure that the car seat was buckled properly before coming around the front seat; you grabbed his hand as soon as he sat down, thanking him for being so great through everything 

  “It’s only ‘cause I love you so much” he joked, bringing his hand up to kiss the back of yours

  “You know,” you said slowly, “everyone was very shocked that we weren’t married. The nurse earlier presumed you were my husband, and the one who was watching Aurora when I was changing called me Mrs. Matthews…”

  “Mrs. (Y/N) Matthews…” he smiled, “I like the sound of that”

  “But we’re not married Auston”

  “But we could be” you giggled

  “Is that your idea of a proposal?”

  “I’m just saying, we had a baby together. We’ve been through a lot, marriage doesn’t seem like such a bad idea”

  “Can we just take a breath for a second? We don’t need to get married. I mean we don’t even live together”

  “So that’s the other thing I should talk to you about”

  “What does that mean?”

  “I bought a new place,” he said and your eyebrows rose in shock, “I did it a while ago, like months, and started setting up the baby’s room there. You’ll love it, I promise, I wouldn’t have bought it if I didn’t see you loving it”

  “I don’t understand…”

  “I want us to live together. It’s not good for the baby to have two places, or for us either. Your place is great, but it’s not big enough for the three of us. And my place is my place…” you scrunched your eyebrows together but he kept his eyes focused straight as he moved at a snail’s pace, “I want this to be our place.” You smiled, leaning your head against the seat, and told him you’d love to move in with him; moving your hand up to play with his curly hair while he drove

  “I got lucky with you, Matthews,” you said, “you’re pretty handsome you know?” A small smile played on his lips and his hand found its way onto your knee but his eyes still never left the road

  “Thanks babe,” was his nervous response, “I’m the lucky one though”

  “Auston, look at me for a second” you laughed

  “Hmm, nope, can’t do that. We have precious cargo…”

  “You’re literally going 10 miles an hour,” you gestured to the dash, “you hear those horns that are most certainly going to wake our daughter? Yeah, those are because you’re driving so slow”

  “I can’t just fly through here…”

  “Just go the speed limit baby or pull over and let everyone pass.” He looked at you quickly before finding somewhere to park and you noticed his body loosen from the stiffness it held before

  “I guess I’m just nervous, I don’t want anything bad to happen to her,” he looked in the backseat to see if he could get a view of her from where he sat but he caught your eye instead, “hey there”

  “Hey there…”

  “Have we met before?” he teased and you smiled, “I’m not sure how my girlfriend would feel about a beautiful girl being in my car. We’re moving in together you know?”

  “Is that so?”

  “It is so,” he replied, “and I’m pretty sure I’d remember you if we met before”

  “Well I know your girlfriend and I think she’d be okay with my being in your car”

  “Oh yeah? How do you k--” you pulled him in for a deep kiss to stop this back and forth. The kiss got steamier than you thought it would and he was beginning to pull you onto his lap when you stopped him

  “Mhmm... we can’t…” you said breathlessly, eyes still focused on Auston’s lips, “we have a baby now. We can’t be having sex in cars anymore. Plus, I’m not even sure if we can have sex this soon. I just really wanted to kiss you…”

  “I wanted to kiss you too, I always do,” he cocked his eyebrow, “and we’ll be able to have car sex again eventually. That’s what date nights are for.” You laughed and adjusted yourself back in the car before telling Auston to get back onto the road and to go the speed limit this time.

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1 year later

  “Can I get some help please? I think your door shrunk, Matthews” Mitch yelled as he fought to get in

  “Maybe it’s the 300 presents you brought. Dude you know she’s only a year old right?” Auston joked

  “She has to like me the best, I need to be the favourite Uncle,” Mitch replied, “I mean come on, you made Fred the godfather…”

  “Relax, Mitch, this is great,” Auston laughed, “thank you. Let’s go put these on the table”

  “He’s not bitter, is he?” you asked Stephanie, “that Auston didn’t ask him to be the godfather?”

  “Oh god no, he just likes to joke around,” she smiled, “he’s just not sure why Fred and not Mo or Patty”

  “You know I’m not entirely sure,” you admitted, walking around the kitchen island to say hi to some of the guests, “apparently Freddie was there for Auston when I went in for surgery and he was really grateful to him for it. He hasn’t told me what Fred said exactly but it left an impression on Auston so he asked him to be the godfather”

  “That makes sense.” Steph replied before the two of you roamed around the party for a bit, talking to as many people as you could until you came across Freddie

  “Hey there Mr. goaltender,” you said awkwardly. The two of you hadn’t really bonded in the entire time you’d known him and it was strange that you really didn’t know him when he was the godfather of your child, “how’s it going?”

  “Good, how about you?” he asked 

  “Good!” you replied and the two of you fell back into an awkward silence, “look I just wanted to say thank you”

  “For what?”

  “For helping Auston when I was in surgery. Whatever you said to him really meant a lot and I so appreciate it; it means a lot to me that you care so much about him”

  “You guys are family. I’d do anything for you two, well now you three,” he smiled shyly, “if you need anything and you can’t get a hold of Auston, just call me and I’m there.” You smiled and thanked Freddie with a quick squeeze on his arm before continuing your rounds at the party. When Aurora finally woke up, it was Brian who brought her out to see everyone and you heard everyone’s cooing before you saw your daughter; eventually making your way through the crowd to hold her and Auston stood by your side as he made a small speech. 

  “We want to thank everyone for coming today. Our little girl is so lucky to be surrounded by so much love and we are so lucky to have people who make it so easy to bring into our lives. You’re all family and we couldn’t have asked for a more loving and caring one, so thank you. Today is a celebration and we intend to make it the best first birthday our little girl could hope for.” He raised his glass and the group followed suit while you leaned up to lay a kiss to his lips, Aurora letting out a little noise as you did so, bringing smiles to yours and Auston’s faces. 

  “That was beautiful babe” you said, rubbing away the lipstick that marked his lips

  “Thanks babe, now let’s get to unwrapping Uncle Mitch’s presents…” The two of you smiled and cooed at your daughter as you walked over to the table. You were shocked when you saw that over half the gifts on the table were from Mitch as you sat down and you laughed when you saw his excitement. Auston started bringing boxes and bags over to you so you could open them and show Aurora what was inside; blankets, stuffed animals, onesies, bottles, bibs, bedtime stories were just a few of the starting gifts and almost none of it was registering with Aurora which made everyone laugh.

  “Hey, look little one, that’s you and Daddy,” you said, pointing at the picture someone had gifted you, “and that’s you and me. That was the day you were born!” When her little fingers grazed the pictures as she recognized you and Auston, your heart melted and you kissed her head softly.

  “Yeah, that’s all of us baby girl” Auston said with a big smile on his face and Aurora looked up at him with her big doe eyes, both of you waiting for her first word but she just looked down at the pictures. You smiled as tears of joy filled your eyes and continued on with the rest of the gifts; it wasn’t long after that the group began saying their goodbyes and filing out. 

  “It was so nice to see you,” you said, giving Christina a quick kiss on the cheek goodbye, “thank you so much for coming guys!” You and Auston waved to them as they walked down the driveway to their van and you sighed heavily 

  “I don’t know about you but I am exhausted,” you said, leaning into Auston’s side, “I think we should get Aurora to bed and then it’s probably best if we head to sleep as well…” You walked into the baby’s room and gently laid her down as Auston’s strong arms wrapped around your waist and he tucked his head into your neck

  “I can’t believe how much I love her” he whispered 

  “Neither can I” you whispered back, falling back into his chest and watching your baby sleep

  “Come on babe, let’s get some sleep.” You hummed before taking his hand as he led you out of the baby’s room and into the one you shared with him where you almost immediately crashed onto the California King mattress in the middle of the room. Auston came over to your side of the bed and hovered over you, lifting you up from where you laid with a kiss that moved through your entire body. 

  “Mmm, what’s that for?” you asked, eyes fluttering open 

  “Nothing. I just love you that’s all” he replied before kissing you again, bringing you to your feet and gliding his hands to the hem of your shirt; his hands were so warm and your body was so cold that you almost craved the heat from him

  “Wait, wait, stop,” you pulled away, “I love you too but we can’t. Okay? Not right now…” He looked so defeated that your heart broke and you pulled him back to you. “Auston, Papí, I love you but I don’t want her to wake up because we were being too loud”

  “So, we’ll be quiet…” he moved to kiss your neck and you were lost in the feeling for a minute, moaning into him when you pulled away again

  “No, Auston” you forced him to look at you, “not tonight babe, okay? I’m sorry.” You changed into your PJs and got under the covers, waiting for Auston to come back into the room, noticing the look he gave you before he turned off the lights; the only light now coming from the screen on the baby monitor. 

  “What are you doing, Aus?” you giggled

  “I have a question for you,” he said, his voice low, “but I thought you deserved a show to go with it.” He started dancing around the foot of the bed, doing what you could only assume was a strip tease, as clothing started flying toward you and you almost burst into laughter

  “What’s your question?” you held back your laughs to keep the room quiet

  “Tell me first: do you like my body?” he said, running his hands dramatically down his torso to the top button of his jeans

  “What?” you laughed

  “I said, do you like my body?”

  “Yes, I like your body!” you replied, a giggle and excitement flowing off your tongue

  “Good, now, do you like my hair?” he said, moving his hands up his body to tossle his dark brown locks

  “Yes, I like your hair.” He was at your side of the bed now, pulling your feet over the edge so you were sitting upright and he could use the space around you to his advantage

  “Good. How about my lips?” 

  “Your lips?”

  “How do you feel about my lips, (Y/N)?” he asked and you leaned into him, your lips inches from his and whispered

  “I love your lips, Auston…”

  “That’s my girl,” he pulled away from you just when you thought he might kiss you, moving his hands back to the waist of his jeans again, “now here’s my real question: do you like my name?”

  “Your name? Auston? Sure, yeah,” you started, thinking it was some kind of game he wanted to play, so you added what you thought he’d find sexy, “I like moaning it…”

  “I like that, baby, but I was talking about my last name”

  “Oh,” you said with confusion, pulling back from your boyfriend, “I guess… Auston, what’s going on?”

  “Would you like it to be yours?” he finally said, falling back on his knee and pulling out a small black box 

  “Oh my god, Auston…” you whispered, still a little confused but mostly shocked

  “(Y/N) (Y/M/N) (Y/L/N), I am so in love with you and I have been from the second I laid eyes on you. Everyone told me you were too good for me and I agreed with them because you are. You’re way too good for me, which is why I knew I had to be with you. You have brought so much happiness and love into my life that any second I’m away from you feels like an eternity,” your mouth dropped open as tears sprung from your eyes and Auston’s as well, “honestly, the only thing I’ve ever loved more than you is our daughter. Our beautiful baby girl who got her mom’s eyes and her mom’s forehead, thank god.” You laughed at his remark as tears continued to fall down your cheeks, only now noticing the shaking of his hands so you moved yours over his to calm him, “I want to be the one you come to when you have an amazing day at work, I want to be the one you vent to when nothing seems to be going right. I want to be the one to hold you when you need to cry, I want to be the one you smile at when you’re happy and I never wanna see that smile fade. I want you to be the one by my side through every game, home or away, good or bad, win or lose. I want you to be the one I can lean on and cry to if I need to, I want you to be the one who I wake up to every morning for the rest of my life because I love you. And I want our daughter to know that love exists. I want us to be her best example of love because it’s true and it’s real and she deserves to see the world through rose-coloured glasses. I want us--”

  “Auston, baby, you’re running out of breath…” you stopped him, still smiling at his now bloodshot eyes

  “I love you, so much, more than I ever thought possible,” he said calmly, “will you marry me?”

  “Yes,” you finally said, still sobbing from how much love you felt for the man in front of you, “of course I’ll marry you!” 

  “Oh thank god,” he laughed, placing the ring gently on your finger and lifting you up, “I wasn’t sure how I was doing there for a second.” He spun you around for a minute, dancing his tongue with yours as your fingers played with the ends of his hair until he slowly set you down

  “You were mumbling there for a bit but you did just fine”

  “Well see, the plan was: tire both of us out by having sex and that way all my nerves would be gone and it would’ve been a much less frantic proposal. But you rejected sex so I had to improvise…”

  “I liked this way so much better,” you said, pushing yourself up to kiss him, “plus, this is a story we can actually tell people…” He laughed and you sat back down on the bed, determined to get some sleep before Aurora inevitably started crying out. Sure enough, she started crying and you pushed the covers off of you to get up when Auston stopped you

  “I got this one, babe, you go back to sleep.” You smiled as you watched him leave, thankful that you were with someone who wanted to help as much as he did. You couldn’t help yourself though, so you tiptoed to the doorway of Aurora’s room as she continued to cry, and peered in to see how Auston was doing when you noticed that her crying was lessening more and more. He sat down in the rocking chair after a few minutes and grabbed a book to get Aurora to sleep

  Once upon a time there lived a king and queen who were very unhappy because they had no children. But at last a little daughter was born, and their sorrow was turned to joy. All the bells in the land were rung to tell the glad tidings.

  You smiled when you realized that he was reading her Sleeping Beauty; leaning against the door to listen closer. 

  “Just then the wise young fairy came from behind the curtain and said: ‘Do not grieve, O King and Queen. Your daughter shall not die. I cannot undo what my elder sister has done; the princess shall indeed prick her finger with the spindle, but she shall not die. She shall fall into sleep that will last a hundred years. At the end of that time, a king’s son will find her and awaken her.’”

  As Auston continued, Aurora seemed to stir more and she clearly wasn’t liking the story causing Auston to panic and try to sing her to sleep. You cringed at his tone deaf cover of Golden Slumbers

  “I know I know baby girl,” he shushed her, “mommy’s voice is much better than daddy’s. But mommy is asleep, so you get me…” You brought your hand up to your mouth to bite your nails as you continued to listen from outside the door hoping it would get better but it didn’t and you had to step in 

  “Okay, I think it’s time for me to step in huh?” you said, walking toward Auston and Aurora, and gently taking her from him, “thanks for trying daddy.” He smiled at you and stepped aside, letting you sit down on the rocking chair. 

  “Once there was a way. To get back homeward. Once there was a way. To get back home, sleep, pretty darling do not cry. And I will sing a lullaby…”

  You glanced up at Auston, who was staring at you almost in disbelief as you sang, and smiled before continuing

  “Golden slumbers fill your eyes. Smiles await you when you rise. Sleep pretty darling, do not cry. And I will sing a lullaby. And I will sing a lullaby…” 

  Aurora had finally drifted back to sleep, so you walked over to her crib to lay her back down; stopping for a minute to watch her dream, barely noticing a tear slip down your cheek until Auston kissed it away 

  “What’s wrong (Y/N)?” he asked, arms wrapped tightly around your waist and you just shook your head

  “What do you think she would’ve been like?” 

  “Just like her sister…” he said without hesitation and another tear left your eye

  “I didn’t think it would be this hard…” you confessed, turning to bury your head in Auston’s chest, “but I miss our baby.” He hugged you tightly, laying his cheek against your head and you felt a few tears fall from his eyes

  “I miss her too” he said, kissing your temple sweetly before you pulled back to look at him. You sighed and wiped away your tears, keeping your arms wrapped around Auston’s waist as he walked you back to the bedroom. It was a bittersweet moment; you had just gotten engaged, your beautiful daughter was sleeping peacefully and you had an amazing day with friends but you couldn’t help thinking about the daughter you lost. When you looked over at Auston, who was now sleeping soundly beside you, you thought about how lucky you were to have someone like him in your life. Someone who, not only understood your past and the pain you’d gone through but who loved you through the pain and didn’t try to fight any of it. You smiled as you watched his chest rise and fall and you couldn’t help yourself, you kissed his neck to wake him up. 

  “Hey babe” he groaned as he woke up, “what’s going on?” You slowly climbed on top of him, legs on either side to straddle him 

  “I thought I’d celebrate us for a second…” you smiled, moving your hands to the hem of his shirt and leaning down to capture his lips

  “What happened? Not that I’m complaining…”

  “Nothing happened.. I’m just thankful for you, I’m grateful for everything you’ve done for me…” you smiled as he planted his large hands on your ass, pulling you closer to him. You kissed his lips feverishly, pulling him up to sit up as you kept him locked in the kiss; only parting from his lips when he lifted your shirt over your head

  “I’m thankful for you too” he said quickly before you peeled his shirt off and moved back to capture him in a heated kiss. You could tell he didn’t want to break the kiss as much as you but he was determined to gain control, so he flipped you over so he was on top still not breaking away from the kiss. He moved his hands slowly to the waistband of your pajama shorts and pushed them down, moving his lips to your neck as you quickly dragged his bottoms off with your feet; craving his skin on yours with every movement. 

  “Auston…” you moaned and he lifted his gaze from your neck to meet your eyes, your chest heaving only now realizing how long it had been since you had felt him like this and you pushed yourself closer to him for a kiss; your fingers twisting in his hair before you smiled against his lips

  “What are you smiling at?” he asked, pulling away briefly before smiling down at you

  “You…” you admitted, “I love you Auston Matthews.” You whispered before laying a soft kiss to his lips and he continued to smile, nothing but love in his eyes 

  “I love you too, (Y/N).”

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