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My brain would not shut the fuck up for 2 seconds, so to satisfy it, have a compilation of out of context questions and shitty takes:

1. So I sold my soul to Alastor for jambalaya (would've done it for free frfr), what do i call you now? Sir? Boss? Daddy? AHEM, what do your souls even do? Will I just join the hotel? Cuz I'm fine with that.

2. Can Angel shoot webs out of his ass? (I don't know where the fuck this came from)

3. Husk, do you blink slowly at the people you trust and love? Cuz cats do that.

4. Charlie do you bleat like a goat?

5. Does Alastor taste like venison? Experience rut? Also, can you make different calls besides squeaks and bleats? Do your horns get stuck on shit? Ever broke Vox's screen with a 'love tap'? Also did you know there's a ship with you and your mom? That shit is vile

6. Do y'all know Lilith is just in heaven, drinking a slushie on the beach while y'all are out here suffering?

7. Luci what's your opinion on the other sins? (All of em)

8. Vox what your best 'Alastor got drunk and cuddly story?' Also did you ever convinced him to wear a dress? (I'm not talking about the bets, talking about you actually managing to convince him yourself, no strings attached, to wear a dress.) Is your dick a cable? Do you eat batteries? And are you aware of how creative your simps are? (ESPECIALLY ON PINTEREST ISTG PEOPLE ARE NOT WELL)

9. Vaggie, did you ever watch Encanto and notice that Mirabel sounds like you? Also, you're Spanish, right? (Yay, like me, matchy), what's your fave dish?

10. Val what was the fucking point of trying to drug Vox? Like? Even if it worked, Alastor would've fucked you up so hard your dick would come out of your mouth. Did you just think he'd be mad at Vox for getting fucking raped? Idiot.

11. Husk, did you ever perform in front of a crowd? Because if I'd have your voice, I'd never shut up.

12. Niffty, have you heard of Vox's employee, Baxter? He's like Sir. Pentios but a way better bad boy, about your height, and a mad scientist. Bet he could make experiments on your bugs and find new ways to kill em or sum.

13. Velvette, my fucking queen, on my knees for you, ugh, it's your voice or your personality, idk what, but I want it. Give it. I love u queen. What's your fave dress you ever made?

14. If Vox would be a princess, he'd be a greedy princess. I scouted the internet for anything, and after being reminded that El Dorado exists, I think the best I found is Chel. She's smart and greedy, and wants more gold. That's the best i found. Or just fuck it and you're Ariel but a shark. Now I have to draw that.

15. Angel did you discover you were gay back when you were alive or in hell? Also, how was it Italy? I plan on visiting and maybe going to a concert at it, cause the language sounds so fucking pretty and idk how to describe it, just beauty.

16. So, Alastor, is Niffty in a contract with you afterall, or did she just exist in your house one day and you just adopted her? Also, Charlie can now technically call you dad, cause your her mom's boyfriend, so maybe stepdad? Second dad?

17. Charlie girl, you did it! You fixed your mommy issues with your dad, your new mom, and your mom's boyfriend.

18. Hazbing hotel should be renamed issues hotel, cuz we got Daddy issues (Angel, Alastor, Husk I think?), Mommy issues (Charlie ((she kinda solved them)), Pentios maybe), parent issues (Husk ig, Vox, maybe velvette? Cuz if she was just 19 ((young kween, we stan u girl)), I imagine her parents sucked ((boo, tomato tomato))), uh, just straight up issues (Luci, Vaggie, I recon Val had a shitty life) and a shitton of trauma.

19. Alastor did you wear cattle shoes back when you were alive? Also, how is New Orleans? I think it looks really pretty and has a beautiful beautiful culture. Maybe if I have money, I'll visit! See where my fave serial killer murderer came from. Also, is French hard to learn? I'd like to give it a shot. Last thing: drop that lash care girllll, why do men have such pretty lashes? Scratch that, why are men like you so pretty?

20. Be gay, do crime, eat boys up, idk, peace ✌️

—a very sleep deprived bird anon

1. So I sold my soul to Alastor for jambalaya (would've done it for free frfr), what do i call you now? Sir? Boss? Daddy? AHEM, what do your souls even do? Will I just join the hotel? Cuz I'm fine with that.

"Boss will do just fine. And you can do as you please - I'm not like some, who require their souls to tirelessly work for them. I'll call on you if I have need."

2. Can Angel shoot webs out of his ass? (I don't know where the fuck this came from)

"Uh, no."

3. Husk, do you blink slowly at the people you trust and love? Cuz cats do that.

"Not that I'm aware of."

4. Charlie do you bleat like a goat?

"Um, no, I'm... not a goat."

5. Does Alastor taste like venison? Experience rut? Also, can you make different calls besides squeaks and bleats? Do your horns get stuck on shit? Ever broke Vox's screen with a 'love tap'? Also did you know there's a ship with you and your mom? That shit is vile

"I suppose my flavor profile might bear some similarities to venison, but I imagine I do taste rather different. I don't experience rut, I can make different sounds, and no, my horns do not get stuck - I can shrink them easily. I have broken Vox's screen while fighting and when he's attempted to wake me up, but I wouldn't qualify either as a 'love tap'. And I do wish you hadn't shared that."

6. Do y'all know Lilith is just in heaven, drinking a slushie on the beach while y'all are out here suffering?

"Yeah, you're not the first person to share that. But Charlie doesn't know, and I'm keeping it that way until I get more answers. It would crush her."

7. Luci what's your opinion on the other sins? (All of em)

"They're like family, and like most families, I get along with some more than others. Ozzie is definitely who I'm closest to, Bee's always fun, Levy's cool, Bel's great, Satan and I butt heads sometimes, and Mammon... can admittedly get on my nerves."

8. Vox what your best 'Alastor got drunk and cuddly story?' Also did you ever convinced him to wear a dress? (I'm not talking about the bets, talking about you actually managing to convince him yourself, no strings attached, to wear a dress.) Is your dick a cable? Do you eat batteries? And are you aware of how creative your simps are? (ESPECIALLY ON PINTEREST ISTG PEOPLE ARE NOT WELL)

"I'm not telling you a whole story when you asked so fucking much. No, I haven't gotten him in a dress outside of the bet. Do you have any idea how much he hates deviating from his look? And no, my dick is not a cable, and I don't eat batteries. But yes, of course my simps are very creative. Right, Mel?"

9. Vaggie, did you ever watch Encanto and notice that Mirabel sounds like you? Also, you're Spanish, right? (Yay, like me, matchy), what's your fave dish?

"I haven't noticed that, and um... as I've mentioned before, I don't really have any memories before joining Adam's army. I used to think I was Heavenborn, but I get these flashes, and... I think I might be from Central America? I don't know. I do love tamales, I know that."

10. Val what was the fucking point of trying to drug Vox? Like? Even if it worked, Alastor would've fucked you up so hard your dick would come out of your mouth. Did you just think he'd be mad at Vox for getting fucking raped? Idiot.

"They weren't even together yet. Alastor wouldn't have even known anything happened, if you idiotas hadn't gotten involved. Voxxy just would have chosen to stay with me, and their little budding romance would have fizzled out as it should have."

11. Husk, did you ever perform in front of a crowd? Because if I'd have your voice, I'd never shut up.

"I mean, I used to be a stage magician, so... yeah."

12. Niffty, have you heard of Vox's employee, Baxter? He's like Sir. Pentios but a way better bad boy, about your height, and a mad scientist. Bet he could make experiments on your bugs and find new ways to kill em or sum.

"Ooooh, Vox, I want to meet Baxter!"

13. Velvette, my fucking queen, on my knees for you, ugh, it's your voice or your personality, idk what, but I want it. Give it. I love u queen. What's your fave dress you ever made?

"Everything I make is the best - how the fuck can I pick one favorite?"

14. If Vox would be a princess, he'd be a greedy princess. I scouted the internet for anything, and after being reminded that El Dorado exists, I think the best I found is Chel. She's smart and greedy, and wants more gold. That's the best i found. Or just fuck it and you're Ariel but a shark. Now I have to draw that.

"Haven't seen it, so I'll take your word for it."

15. Angel did you discover you were gay back when you were alive or in hell? Also, how was it Italy? I plan on visiting and maybe going to a concert at it, cause the language sounds so fucking pretty and idk how to describe it, just beauty.

"When I was alive, and uh... yeah, my family's Italian, but I'm from New York. Lived there my whole life. Neva' been to Italy."

16. So, Alastor, is Niffty in a contract with you afterall, or did she just exist in your house one day and you just adopted her? Also, Charlie can now technically call you dad, cause your her mom's boyfriend, so maybe stepdad? Second dad?

"Niffty is my friend - of course I don't own her soul! And I was already a father-figure to Charlie, but I never seriously meant that she should call me dad."

17. Charlie girl, you did it! You fixed your mommy issues with your dad, your new mom, and your mom's boyfriend.

"Uh... I don't think that's how that works..."

18. Hazbing hotel should be renamed issues hotel, cuz we got Daddy issues (Angel, Alastor, Husk I think?), Mommy issues (Charlie ((she kinda solved them)), Pentios maybe), parent issues (Husk ig, Vox, maybe velvette? Cuz if she was just 19 ((young kween, we stan u girl)), I imagine her parents sucked ((boo, tomato tomato))), uh, just straight up issues (Luci, Vaggie, I recon Val had a shitty life) and a shitton of trauma.

"Fuck off, my dad was awesome."

"And for the last time, I don't have 'daddy issues'. My mother did just fine on her own."

19. Alastor did you wear cattle shoes back when you were alive? Also, how is New Orleans? I think it looks really pretty and has a beautiful beautiful culture. Maybe if I have money, I'll visit! See where my fave serial killer murderer came from. Also, is French hard to learn? I'd like to give it a shot. Last thing: drop that lash care girllll, why do men have such pretty lashes? Scratch that, why are men like you so pretty?

"I did, and New Orleans is indeed beautiful. I strongly recommend a visit! And I must admit, I don't speak fluent French. I can speak some Creole French that I picked up throughout my life. It was never something I studied, though. As for your last question, I'm afraid I don't quite know how to answer that."

Note from Mel: Please only send one or two asks at a time. This was a bit overwhelming, and it makes tagging complicated.