#drunk off my ass in the worst way possible

[neverendingford]

.

[mousedotjpeg]

cw: explicit smut, johnny being a perv, mentions of reader and price being parental figures but not in a weird way, praise kink, price is mushy gushy but also rough, idek what else to put its just johnny perving on price and wife thats it thats the drabble

Sergeant John "Soap" Mactavish had seen the absolute worst of the world in his years working in the army. Things no human should ever have to witness; scenes so grotesque, heart-wrenching, and downright deplorable that they could only be conjured by hell.

But this? Not even the purest form of bleach would cleanse this from his eyes, nor the sweet freedom of death enough to erase this from his soul. Price, his beloved captain and father figure, and you, the wife of said captain, who just happened to be 141’s sweet little medic, going at it like catholic fucking rabbits in your empty office. All he had wanted was an extra dosage of melatonin following a rough mission, but the scene laid out in front of him would serve to keep him awake and squirming the remainder of the night.

But... the way his superior's hands so gently cupped your cheek and ran through your tousled locks - a direct contrast to his brutal thrusts that bounced you across your consultation table - had his boots glued to the linoleum floor. How long had it been since Soap had indulged in the touch of another? Even longer, the last time he muttered anything along the lines of what filth the captain cooed into your ear.

Shit, it was bad enough seeing the woman he looks up to as practically a mother get defiled by his hypothetical father, so why, why, could he feel himself getting hard in his pants? With bated breath, Johnny ignored the screaming bastard in his mind telling him to run like his ass caught fire and leant ever so slightly more into the doorway, enabling him to hear more of the filth his comrades were indulging in.

His sensitive ears first caught on to the wet 'schmick' of John's hips connecting with yours, then the heavenly sound of your sweet, sweet whimpers and moans. He ignored the moral questions his eavesdropping - no, perving - raised, and reached his hand around to the front of his pants, hand cautiously cupping himself.

"Fuck, honey, takin' it all so fuckin' well f' me," John groaned, panting into your ear.

"Jus' need one more from you, darlin' and I'll give it to you, yeah? Fill you up just like you need, finally get you fuckin' full of my babies." He babbles, clearly close to finishing himself, only holding off to feel the tight squeeze of your warmth milking him for everything he's worth one last time. You only whine out a weak "yes," far too fucked out to give any sophisticated answer, though it's clearly plenty for both your husband and the sneaky voyeur listening in.

Soap bites into his free fist, muffled a choked groan as he reaches into his pants, running along the length of himself to teasingly rub his thumb against his tip. It's easy to imagine himself in his captain's place, losing himself in the ecstasy of your sweet little cunt, all his for the taking. He's embarrassingly sensitive as he begins stroking himself in earnest, wishing for a moment that he could freely fuck his fist outside of the confines of his cargos.

"Fuck!" Johnny stills for a moment following the obscenity John shouts, then quickly gets right back to his rhythm, finding his Captain enjoying every second of your orgasm. Johnny himself bites back a pitiful sob as he imagines how tight your cunt must be in that moment, enough to make a stoney man such as Price break in your arms.

"Shit, shit, shitshitshit, honey, you feel so fuckin' good, baby, such a good little wife f' me, gonna fuckin pump my fuckin' babies into this delectable little cunt a' yours, yeah, baby? How's that sound? I'll have you barefoot 'nd pregnant f' me in no fuckin' time, honey." Price rambles, utterly pussy drunk as he rapidly approaches his high. His thrusts stutter only to press himself as deep as possible into you, which in turn roughly shoves you up the table, then he's grunting low in his throat, pressing his cold nose to your jaw and releasing all of himself into your abused heat.

At the same moment, Johnny's tossing his head back, ruining his own pants with his filth. His teeth nearly draw blood as they press sharply into his fist, though it does nothing to slow or ease Soap's ecstasy as his cock twitches in his grip and spurts out every last drop of cum in his heavy balls. He has half the mind to quiet his breathing, at last letting off his fist, leaning against the wall.

Pulling his hand from his boxers, he wipes it lazily on his cargos, daring one last risky glance into the room that holds his captain and medic, only to find one cheeky John fucking Price staring right back at him.

finally getting back into writing. i have no idea if this even makes any fuckin sense >:'c also i wasnt sure if i should tag it as a soap x reader, since he's not technically with the reader? but i went ahead and did, so just lmk if it shouldnt and ill fix it c:

~ mouse

[musedblues]

All Things Must Pass

a/n: IDK CHAT this is 100% projection. long story short, i promised @almightyellie and @userjohndeacon a sessa fic, started it, then proceeded to have the worst june ever. and i accidentally ended up turning this entire plot into my therapy. sorry for the devastation but...  happy ending?

description: since starting college angus became your very best friend. just as you begin to wrap up your academic career, shit hits the fan for everyone. friends to lover's type shit but make it excruciating. angus x fem reader. 

warnings: explicit sexual situations, death, mentions of suicidal ideation, brief scene ft. harassment, over all morbid tone. God bless whoever takes the time to put up with this plot lmao

18k

MINORS DNI

///

The Party

"Would you hurry up! I want to get there before all the good booze is gone." Angus drummed on his steering wheel as you rushed into his passenger seat. He'd been honking outside your dorm for five minutes, despite the couple times you poked your head out the window to yell at him that you were coming.

"I got ready later than I wanted, I was actually trying to study. You know we're at college to learn shit, right?" 

"Yeah, and I'm trying to learn how to get drunk fast tonight. Every moment of this precious life is a lesson to be learned if you let it, kid." Angus jested, as if being a few months younger mattered in your mid-twenties. 

"You used to be fun, Angus. You used to be so carefree. You used to bitch so much less profoundly. That philosophy class has done a number on you." You laughed as you teased him, watching your friend grin in response. Angus was your favorite pain in the ass. You were his, he said so often. He was your ride to everywhere. You were his built-in tutor for everything. He was your emergency contact on every official form. All because he was lost the first weekend here; and you just happened to learn directions to the furthest class on campus moments before he asked an ever-emptying hallway of students to show him the way.

"Look. This is the last party Kiara is throwing before she graduates, and before our month of finals. I just want to have the best night possible." Angus reasoned. He went on to ramble about how uptight you had been about school lately, and how you needed to let lose tonight all the same. Angus was right.

Your first year of college was spent in elation, when you realized you'd finally escaped the confines of your family. None of them ever had your best interest in mind, and rushing off to freedom was how you spent your 20th autumn. Your second year of college was spent really nailing down your major, hedging all your bets on studying something serious that would keep you afloat your entire life. Something you could depend on for yourself and no one else. But the fatigue of your intense studies set in by the third year, leading you to seek out more extra curriculars to take the edge off. 

It was Kiara's idea to take dance lessons. She was your partner in every tango and waltz. She was your biggest encouragement to take the extra ballet class. And she'd been really pushing you to audition for the team that would travel to Europe to compete in an annual competition. Between your friend, and your instructor, you'd been swayed to stay longer at practices- and to work harder for auditions at the start of the summer. But that meant your studies became even more of a challenge, with your brain focused on achieving more goals than you'd set out to tackle. 

"So, what are we doing tonight?" Angus rallied, as he pulled against the curb of Kiara's townhouse. 

"Having a good time!" You enunciated each word as Angus chanted along with you, smiling his stupidly perfect smile. You'd always loved the sight of him happy, carefree. Happy looked especially good on your friend Angus.

You trailed behind your friend as he bound toward the steps of the party, and held open the front door for you. The air was misty with hints of rain, summer couldn't settle in quick enough.

Kiara's home was big enough for four or more people, but she planned to share it only with her cousin- a lawyer on her way from Chicago, whom none of you had yet to meet. To the left of the entrance hall was the living room; packed with acquaintances and strangers clinking red solo cups together as a Hendrix record played. To the left was the kitchen, where Kiara stood showing off an island full of drinks and organized snacks. Her springy brown curls were pulled back in a neat ponytail and she was dressed better than anyone, as always. 

"There they are!" She smiled and pointed to you and Angus, before waving you over to her massive refrigerator. 

"Extra cold beer and expensive liquor for friends only." Kiara swept her hand to suggest you pick your poison, as she swatted away a stranger from reaching in all at once. You laughed and thanked her for being extra thoughtful, not surprised by her set up. She was the most detail-oriented human you'd ever met. Once Angus had a bottle of beer in either hand and you were content with the last of some old chardonnay, you followed Kiara out to the patio. 

There beyond the steady flame from the fire pit, sat Soren and Tom. Both already high off their asses. They waved as you approached and lit up a fresh joint. And just like that your group was glued together. You'd all wound up in San Fransico from different parts of the country. And you'd all ended up tight knit throughout a year of run ins at pubs and races to class, despite the difference in some of your grades. Fate continuously lobbed you each together. And over the past few years; time always carved out at least one day a week where the five of you could hunch over laughing past midnight like a band of fools.

"How's your job at the cafe going Soren? Paying your book fees back in a timelier manner now?" You rose a brow and looked to your friend. His blonde curls hung to his shoulders; his eyes red by way of the night's events that had only just begun. How he was dependable enough to hold down a job you were unsure, but impressed by all the while.

"I haven't been late once in the two months I've worked there. For work, or my fees." The guy boasted, taking a hit from the blunt he kept promising to pass around but never did. Your group set down their bottles and glasses to give Soren a small round of applause. 

"What about you Kiara? Are you set up for your internship?" Angus asked, both beers already gone. He rose from his perch on a lounge chair to reach in a nearby cooler for another drink. 

"Oh yeah. I start next week, and I graduate three days later. It's getting real, gang. We're getting grown up." Kiara pouted out of sentiment, and nervousness, you noticed. 

"One day closer to death." Tom concluded, "Gotta make the most of it!" The guy lunged, stealing the blunt that Soren had been hogging, laughing at the blonde's appalment. You admired Tom's waggish disposition, eagerness to keep you all on your toes. But even dark eyed, dark humored Tom started to lament about how fast time was flying by this third year of school. 

"I'm gonna graduate, get a house and a few cats. I'm gonna start working at the vet clinic and be rich enough to start my own in ten years." Tom declared, so sure of himself. You watched your friend mean every word that came out of his mouth, which was rare for the often-unserious fellow.

"Did you know," Angus began to rally, raising his bottle to make a point. "In Egypt when a family's cat died, they all shaved their eyebrows off as a sign of respect. Haven't figured out why yet. But I was reading-" 

You groaned a laugh, decidedly tuning out the rest of Angus' sentance. You loved that he always had a recently studied story to share. They fascinated you, usually. But tonight, Angus rambles about history repeating itself was filling you with dread. You weren't keen to consider the past tonight. And your own lack of clarity about the future was growing vaster every day. 

Remembering your promise to let loose here, you politely excused yourself from Angus' on-going speech to find more to drink. Surely the fridge inside had something strong enough, something to really set you off for the evening. 

A bottle of whiskey seemed promising but there were no mixers. You settled for a couple shots, and chatted with a girl who lived down the hall from you. She did two more shots with you and introduced you to her girlfriend. The pair were nice enough together but wouldn't shut the fuck up about a recent trip to France and their decision to move there. Couldn't anyone talk about anything besides their plans for life, tonight?

In the living room, strangers picked the worst vinyl's from Kiara's collection to spin. You sighed as some physics major beamed at the sound of Neil Diamond groaning from the speakers.

Thank God you hadn't been left to linger too long alone. Angus was tapping at your shoulder eventually, holding up a bottle of your favorite rum you hadn't realized was available. His smile grew mischievously as he beckoned you to follow him away from the crowd. This was when the real fun always began.

The spare most bedroom was home to a smaller record player and a more prized collection of vinyl's. Kiara never minded your spinning these, knowing how delicate and careful you were with them. How you were more dazzled by some of her favorite collections than she was, on occasion.

Angus was quick to lock the door, keeping out the people who inevitably started knocking to use the en suite bathroom. Kiara had two more. They'd figure that out. You chose an older album, struggling to turn it up louder than the shit they were blaring from the living room. Angus had already taken an absurd swig of rum from the bottle by the time you'd finished fidgeting with the volume dial. 

"Geeze, save some for the rest of us buddy." You snatched the drink for your own turn, already buzzed, but looking to see stars tonight. Angus was well on his way, it seemed, laughing a little too hard at your jest.

"Finally, good music and decent booze. And you, I guess." You smiled up at Angus, taking a big drink as he grinned back your way. He accepted the bottle back as you began to drone on about the shit music the crowd was playing. You rambled about how you feared they lacked a certain amount of passion for talent. You lamented still how easy it was for people to know passion better than you ever could. How unequivocally everyone spoke tonight about their passions and futures and plans. But how even given your efforts to want the same things, you didn't feel that same certainty everyone else seemed to.

"You gotta get out of here." Angus stalled before you, tapping his pointer finger against your temple. He was always getting you to snap out of your silly spinning what if's and why's.

"Sorry. I know, we're supposed to be having fun." You remarked, grabbing back the bottle to catch up to Angus level of inebriation. He went on to make some foul retort about passion, a joke about the last time he managed a one night stand.

"That's the same gusto you're so proud of that got you only frowns the day you asked out three poor freshman before lunch."

"Win some you lose some." Angus grinned, taking a generous swig before passing the bottle to you. You were both well drunk by then and enjoying the solitude from the masses. Kiara threw the best parties because she had the biggest house. And that gave you a lot of opportunities to seek out space all the while, which was the more valued asset, you thought. Your longsuffering roommate was always in the way. And if your one was an obstacle, Angus' three others were too much to bear. Nights like these were sacred for so many reasons.

"I'm better with silent queues, anyway. I've never successfully talked my way into a date."

You chuckled in your friend's direction, rolling your shoulders to the beat of the new vinyl you picked out. You dreamed a little of adding this song to the list of ones to choreograph in the future.

"No, I'm serious! The people I've successfully hooked up with in college have all happened when I decide to keep the talking to a minimum. A little body language goes a long way, I swear!"

"Angus you know I love you, but I'm struggling to believe you." He was too awkward. Not in a nerdish way. But something about his countenance could be enigmatically naive. He'd been through a lot in his young life, enough to hold a certain wisdom in his posture. But he still seemed to have so much to learn.

"No?" Angus stifled a laugh, seeming to make a decision with a nod. "Well what about this?" He set the bottle of rum down on a chest of drawers.  Angus turned, giving you a sly look over his shoulder, before spinning to face you all the way, letting his eye's rake up your figure. He did have the most alluring set of eyes, and you liked to imagine what was going through his head as he peered across every inch of your body.

"You come here often, darlin'?" Angus rose a playful brow, reaching to sling an arm over your shoulder. You huffed a sorry laugh and shook your head in disapproval.

"It worked until I talked, didn't it?" Angus bit his lip, lifting his brows again to get you to giggle. Even if it did, you'd never tell him.

You drank more and argued over what records to play. You laid on the floor near the speakers and settled into silence when a particularly good song came on. Angus hummed along and made you smile. You drank more and made each other laugh until you cried, slumped against the wall by the loo. Music still pulsed from downstairs, but you noticed fewer voices rallied from downstairs, fewer knocks on your door too.

Then you mistakenly noticed the clock. 

"Oh God Angus it's midnight?" I have a test in the morning." You slumped further down the wall you'd been leaning against, covering your head in your hands. "I was already prepared to fail, now I'm gonna be tired and stressed."

"Hey," Angus called, reaching out to pull your hands from your face. "Look, you either know it or you don't. No amount of studying or sleeping now is gonna help. You've already studied so much. I'm sure you'll do fine. Really!"

You sighed and said you knew he was right. But you couldn't understand why you felt so much more unsure than all of your other friends. You arguably studied hardest out of the five of you. You had the same goals. But Tom seemed so certain that his ten-year plan would work out, no matter any set backs. And Kiara was already accepted into her dream position. Angus never complained once about fearing a test or a grade. And Soren God bless him, took it day by day, but he was doing reasonably well for lack of planning. You voiced to Angus how it scared you that life didn't always turn out perfectly despite all your best efforts.

Your friend frowned, and seemed to struggle for a response. Maybe he was too drunk. Or maybe there just was no answer. With the shake of his dark curls Angus decided to wrap an arm around your shoulder. You felt him kiss the crown of your head, something he did when there was nothing left to say. No advice to give. But when he still wanted to show his support. His closeness was a comfort like no other. He knew just how to be near you. And then you realized he was right in a way, before. Angus was pretty good when it came to wordless connection. 

As you realized this, you broke from your leaning against him to cast your eyes to his face. Angus blinked, letting his arm stay draped around you, letting his fingers draw patterns against your shoulder. His lips formed a small smile as Angus watched you consider his features. His eye's stayed easily peering into yours, and somehow it was like you really saw him for the first time.

"I'm afraid I believe you now." You huffed a humorless laugh, drunk enough to speak without thinking. And how Angus was quick enough to register what you meant, you didn't know. But you saw his eyes look into yours with an understanding you'd never uncovered in your three years of friendship. It might've given you a shiver up your spine. Or you might've just been that drunk. But the longer you looked into Angus' eyes and the quieter he remained, the faster your heart started beating. How much had you had to drink?

You couldn't tear your gaze from his, noticing his mouth begin to move to speak, but no words came. Maybe he stalled, or maybe he was still trying to find the right thing to say. Or maybe he was that drunk. But there was something happening to you that hadn't happened in the entirety of your knowing Angus. Your heart rate had never quickened, drunk or not, in his presence. Your mind had never gone so blank, staring into his eyes. You could've gotten into your head about it. But there was no time to think. Because all of a sudden, he was kissing you. 

It seemed to come out of nowhere after all these years. But it seemed so obvious in the moment. His lips stalled on yours as his fingers moved to brush against your neck, the ghost of a clutch. It was as if he couldn't move until you pushed him away or kissed him back. You chose the latter.

You let your lips bruise into his. You let your hand fall above his knee. You let your fingers curl into a grip. And that seemed to give Angus the green light to really kiss you. His lips parted and his hand molded around the back of your neck and his other arm dared to encircle you. You let your free hand find his shoulder. As Angus flexed to pull you closer to him, you leaned in to kiss him fiercer, knocking the guy over in the process.

Angus let both his hands tangle in your hair as you kissed him against the bedroom floor. It seemed your hands and his moved without a thought or a care, aided by alcohol no doubt. Your fingers found themselves dancing along the hem of Angus t-shirt as his traveled to grab at your hips. The record that was playing was skipping and scratching, begging to be turned. But your every focus was on your very best friend right now, how far his tongue was down your throat, how much in a hurry you felt to tear his jeans off. 

You couldn't believe how fast it was all happening. You couldn't quiet process that Angus slender fingers were creeping underneath your skirt. You couldn't seem to kiss him hard enough. It wasn't long before he rolled to pin you against the floor. It wasn't long before he was actually shagging you in the spare bedroom of your friend's townhome. Angus slammed his hips into yours and breathed hard against your neck. You let your nails dig into his shoulder blades as he finished, and strained to catch your breath as he collapsed at your side. 

If you were confused about things before, you were confounded at this point. But it was one in the morning. And you had a test to take. And no time to think of anything else at all. 

"I'm sorry for doubting you earlier." You broke the deafening silence in the room by turning to grin at Angus. He laughed, a real but breathy and exhausted chuckle. Silence settled in again, until you suggested getting up off the floor. At a languid pace, Angus moved to fasten his trousers, and stumbled into a crawl. You managed to move up right faster and decidedly dragged your friend toward the bed in the middle of the room. Sloshed and spent, you each fell asleep rather quickly. But you didn't drift off without a deepening storm of questions brewing in the back of your mind.

///

A knocking stirred you from dreaming. But the harsh early sun from the window caused your eyes to snap shut in a hurry. This bed wasn't yours. Angus was next to you. His curls tickling your cheek. His arm like a heavyweight across your stomach. 

Despite the knocking, your eyes couldn't keep open. Your brain still clung to dreams.

You relished the way your friends body molded against yours. You struggled to recall the last time you felt so calm. So relaxed. It was too easy to fall asleep again.

And then you were shaken to reality once more. 

"Wake up, please-" Angus was whispering your name with urgency. He wasn't at your side, not like before. He was standing. His arms no longer held you close. But his hand clutched your arm, and it stayed there as you sat up to meet his eyes. They were bloodshot. His brows were pushed in, darkening his gaze. His usual faint grin was turned into a frown.

Angus swallowed and dug his fingers into your shoulder. 

"You gotta get up. Tom's dead."

///

Kiara was slumped against the kitchen table when Angus finally got you out of bed. You rushed to her side in a panic, as she kept her head down. Angus stalled near the entry way of the kitchen, hands on his head, breaking out into a pace.

Soren was hanging up the phone on the wall, he'd just called off work for the very first time ever. You wanted to tell him you were proud of him for not having done so sooner. But now wasn't the time. One of you was missing. And he wasn't coming back.

Kiara lifted her head from the table, her once pinned curls now disheveled. Her face was wet with tears as she sucked in a deep breath. 

"Angus can you tell the strangers sleeping on my sofa to get the fuck out, please?" Kiara's voice was hoarse and worn. Soren sat across from you as Angus left the room on a mission, and you begged someone to tell you what the hell was going on. 

Kiara said she opened her door to the police at five this morning. She was Tom's emergency contact, after all. She said he decided to walk home instead of crashing here. He only lived a block away. He should have made it. But he was drunk. And a pickup truck didn't hit their breaks in time. And just like that, none of it mattered. His bed was never slept in. His degree was never earned. His plans out the window. A fifth seat at the pub and dinner table permanently empty. 

Angus returned to announce he'd gotten everyone to leave. But a well-meaning girl straggled in the kitchen behind him, asking the group of you if there was anything she could do for you. Angus turn to yell that she go like he so kindly asked her to in the first place. Soren started sobbing then, slumping from the chair at your side, his blonde locks weighing your lap down. You sat in shock, carding your fingers through his hair. You locked eyes with Angus across the room, watching the way his teeth dug into his lip to keep from crying. You had a lot to talk about. But now wasn't the time.

As you turned to look to Kiara, your eyes fell onto the clock. 

"I- I have a test." Your voice cracked; a cry lodged in your throat that you weren't ready to let escape. 

"What professor? I can help you get an extension, if you want?" Kiara sniffled. 

"I... I don't want that. I want to get it over with. I don't want to leave here but I don't- I don't know." 

"Hey, it's okay-" Kiara reached to rest her hand on your forearm. You struggled to breathe but kept rambling despite yourself. 

"I don't want to put it off, I'll be way more stressed than I already am, but I don't want to leave here, Kiara..." You begged her to help you make sense out of your panic. That's what she was good at. 

"It's okay." She demanded with authority, nodding to silence you. "Go take it. Come back when you're finished? I'd really like for us to all be together tonight." She sucked in a shaky breath and cast her gaze to Angus, who was nodding in agreeance. Soren lifted his head from your lap, face red and eyes glossy. He mentioned needing a change of clothes, barely able speak without breaking down again. 

"I'll take you to campus." Angus gestured toward you. "And I'll grab your stuff, Soren. Stay with Kiara and we'll be back to help clean this shit up and decide what to do next." Angus asked where his friends dorm key was, decidedly designating himself the errand runner. 

Kiara steadied her breathing and thanked him, Angus was always clear minded in crisis. Then she announced that she planned to call Tom's parents. If not to break the news to them before the police, then to find how the family planned to send him off.

Your beautiful hoarse voiced friend demanded you go do your best, as you stood to leave. You gave her a crooked grimace of a smile, every sense clouded with shock and confusion and dismay.

Angus followed you out to his car, where he drove you back to campus in complete silence. Neither of you said a word, neither of you made a sound. There was too much to talk about and not nearly enough of the right kind of time. 

///

Finals Month

You failed that test. Miserably. Maybe you should have waited. But you knew the stress of waiting would've worn on you just as much as the shock had, the morning you took it. That night you spent at Kiara's was quiet. 

That night you all let the sound of dinner cooking echo through the house. That night you all sat around the living room, trying not to fixate on the spot on the couch where Tom usually sat with his legs crossed. That night Angus held your hand, and the way it usually would've brought you comfort was then matched with conflict. Still, you watched as his fingers tapped against your knuckles and clung to his grip for all it was worth. Despite the way your nerves danced on end, you held his hand. Despite the missing friend, the rest of you sat together. 

When you found out you failed the test the next day, you weren't surprised. But you were motivated to get more serious than ever. You only stopped studying the rest of the week, to make meals. And when you finished the first round of finals, you let dance class be your reward.

Kiara was there at the studio, but she wasn't dressed for it. She only wanted to wait up to give you a lift to the pub after, having called you all to plan a meeting this evening. As dancers flooded into the building, you thanked Kiara for coming to watch you, for being there somehow. You promised to dance hard enough for the both of you, that practice.

Then it was time to start the lesson, relishing the way the music pulsed through the floor. You'd never been so thankful for a hobby, it came just in time for you to clear your head. As you moved your body to the beat of some Bowie song, it wasn't like you were coming to any grand conclusions. But something about locking in and moving with the music made your mind stop racing all the while. 

And then there was the part of you that savored the compliments you received when you landed a spin or were asked to offer instruction to others. You were really fucking good at this, and you knew it. 

When class was over, you struggled to ride the high of the adrenaline dancing usually gave you. The music stopped and you had no reason left to pound your feet into the ground, nowhere left to direct your grief and sadness and worry.  But then Kiara was boasting about how well you did and sing songing her familiar plea for you to try out for the European competition. The instructor overheard and walked up to encourage you all the same. 

"You really should. Auditions are in a month." The teacher flashed you his coy smile, letting his hand rest on the small of your back. He was like that. But you didn't mind. The thrill you got from his compliments as a leader outweighed the way his flirting could sometimes make you cringe.

"I'll think about it!" You assured, giving Kiara the 'let's get out of here' look. 

///

At your usual pub, Angus and Soren were sat in silence, each casting despondent glances toward the table. A chair was empty between them. Funny how hard this kept getting. How often you were reminded that Tom was gone, and how shuddering it was to realize he wasn't coming back. You didn't realize how slowly grief worked. How every new day a creeping mourning swallowed your mind more wholly than the last.

Once seated, you flagged down a waiter for some drinks and frowned when Soren asked how your class went. You didn't really want to talk about it. It didn't seem important at all, all you could think to mention in the company of your friends was how one was gone. Wasn't that so fucked up?

"His mom called today. She says the funeral is tomorrow." Kiara came right out with it, causing everyone to cast their eyes toward her. She hadn't mentioned the phone call she had with Tom's parents when you all reconvened that night. No one had said much of anything at all, that night. 

"What the fuck?" Soren spat. Tom was from Alaska. None of you had time to plan to be at a funeral in Alaska in less than 24 hours. 

"This morning, she told me they had family in town for some other reason. And want to just 'get it over with' so, fuck us, I guess." Kiara released a shaky breath, turning to thank a waiter who slid glasses onto your high-top table. 

"We can do something for him, just us." Angus spoke up, arms crossed tight around his body. He looked up for the first time since you got here and looked right at you. You smiled, glad to see him, content with his latest idea. Angus smiled back and kept his steady brown eyed gaze on yours. And for one fleeting moment you forgot you were being swallowed whole by sadness. But just a moment.

"Yeah. We should have a memorial. Anything you want me to bring?" Soren sat up, nodding over and over at the idea, glad for a progressive plan in his friend's honor.

"A bunch of fuckin' weed. It's what he would've wanted." Kiara laughed. And so did the rest of you.

The rest of the hour you spent drinking was full of a little more hope than any of you had felt in the past few days. You managed a few laughs from each other in the midst of planning a memorial. Through giggles, you all strived to turn conversation lighter. There was an unspoken chugging toward ending your hang out on the semblance of a high note. And you understood why. But something felt so wrong about laughing. Something felt so shameful about droning on about school, with each other. Didn't they feel that? How couldn't they? Would bringing this up kill the mood for better, or for worse?

You didn't know how to conduct yourself the longer you thought about it. Suddenly the whole world and the meaning of life stretch out before you and started to muddle together to fill you with dread. 

"Hey." Angus voice was closer than before. You realized your friends were all getting up, and the dark eyed boy was standing beside the stool you sat in. "Hey, come on." Angus rose his finger to your temple and gave it a couple taps. That meant it was time to focus on something else entirely. Time to get out of your head. You nodded and stood to join him as he walked, watching the others head into the foggy night, holding the door open for you.

"It's the last Friday of the month you know." Angus spoke to you gently, his reminder catching you off guard. You didn't really know what to expect, from Angus now. You didn't really know what you expected from yourself, either. 

"Oh, yeah."

"Do you... want me to come over?" He seemed to worry. The lanky brunet shifted the weight between his feet and let either of his eyes dart between yours. You saw his breath in the fog of the misty evening. You couldn't imagine ever telling him no. 

"It's the last Friday of the month. You always come over. I just... almost forgot this time." You admitted. There had been a lot going on. And you hadn't really been paying attention to the calendar. 

"Did you... forget? Or..."

"I forgot. Come on, let's go." You spoke confidently because you were telling the truth. But you realized what he'd alluded to... having recently fucked without acknowledging it in anyway. And you were not ready to have that conversation. 

Angus rose his brows, shrugged his shoulders and decidedly stepped in time with you. You'd hoped he'd start talking about something else. But he didn't. He let an awkward silence weigh itself between you as he drove you to your dorm. Angus didn't speak the whole ride there. And neither did you. But he drove you home, and followed you in. And that counted for something, right?

Silence followed you each to the sofa, where you sat on the edge, staring at the blank telly screen. 

"Should we watch something?" Angus finally called, leaned back against your decorative pillows with his arms crossed tight. 

"I dunno." You realized. It was later than usual. Your roommate was asleep. You weren't sure how to act, alone with Angus now.

"Put on an album, maybe?" He suggested. His voice sounded light years away. And you couldn't figure out if it was because he was sat so far back. Or if he was upset with you. Or if you were simply starting to lose your mind.

"I dunno." You repeated. The upsettingly familiar weight of silence crept between the pair of you once more for what felt like a lifetime. 

"We really should talk about it. Shouldn't we?" Angus spoke up, voice breaking up your minds spiral of thoughts that had been getting you nowhere. 

You truly didn't know. There was too much happening you hadn't had time to process. A thousand new truths and realities danced around your brain, seeping down to quicken your heart rate. Even if you should've, you couldn't talk without crying. You actually couldn't help that tears started to pool in your eyes now, feeling demanding to free itself from within you. 

Your elbows met your knees and your hands blocked out the light of the room. You tried to steady your breathing with a deep intake of air. But cries were all that released out, despite your attempt to bay your overwhelm. 

You felt him shift at your side. Angus was up. You sat trying to pull yourself together as you heard Angus move about the room. Suddenly you sensed the telly was switched on and the lights were off.

"I'm sorry. Come here. I'm sorry." Angus called, his weight shifting the sofa once more. "We'll just watch whatever is on. I'm sorry." His hands grabbed to move you back toward him. Angus pulled you to rest at his side, and you couldn't help but accept the invitation. You rose your feet from the floor and buried yourself beside him, sniffling away your tears. Angus held you tighter than you ever recalled him having done before. Angus carded his fingers through your hair, and apologized again. Wasn't this enough? You wondered. Couldn't the pair of you just settle together without words? The more intently you latched against his form, the more purposefully Angus seemed to hold you. Wasn't that all either of you needed to know right now?

But he wouldn't stop apologizing. 

"It's okay." You replied, pulling your face away from Angus' shoulder to meet his eye. Your friend wore a look of consternation, jaw clenched, brows furrowed. There was clearly so much he wanted to say. But he didn't. He just shook his head of curls, and pressed his lips together, casting his eyes to his lap. You brought a set of fingers to his jaw, turning his head to face yours. 

"I promise, it's okay." You said again, nodding and letting your thumb brush across the apple of his cheek. You watched your friend of many years debate saying what was clearly on the tip of his tongue. You waited for Angus to stop shaking his head and just come out with it already. He'd been wondering if you should talk. And if he wanted too, he should've. Right?

"I just... I really want to kiss you again." Angus said, like he was certain to be condemned for admitting so. You felt your mouth try to grin despite the way your lips anxiously pursed.  You watched the way Angus searched your expression for any kind of reaction. But you didn't give him much time before you leaned in to brush your lips against his. This kiss was delicate. This kiss was slow. Your hands did not wander. But you each shared the moment earnestly, for reasons you still weren't ready to uncover.

When Angus stalled to break your connection, he stayed close. His gaze was steady on your lips, as if he were trying to figure out why they were just pressed against his own. But you just couldn't talk about it tonight. So instead, it was your turn to pull Angus close, as you leaned back into the pile of throw blankets. You held Angus' head of curls against your chest as he decidedly let himself relax there. 

You didn't know what show was playing. You didn't know what time it was, or when you both fell asleep. You didn't hear Angus leave the next morning. And you didn't know what you were going to do about the way his leaving broke your heart a little more than it'd already had been.

///

You spent the weekend working. Cleaning houses a couple days a week was enough to keep money in your pockets, especially if you had appointments in the rich neighborhoods. You blasted music through each house, and scrubbed to the beat. Like dancing, this was therapy. Every time you remembered Tom was dead, you'd scoured the grout a little harder. Every time you remembered the way Angus dug his fingers into your hips, and how much you liked it, you vacuumed with more gusto. Every time you remembered how poorly the results of your latest finals had been, you turned up the music.

Then came the memorial your friends set up.

It was perfect. You burned a fire in the pit out back, shared a couple joints, and went through old pictures. Each photo unlocked a memory someone had a story about. Kiara found a few flowers to plant around the evergreen near the corner. Flowers that would grow back every year. For Tom. Angus didn't say much that night. And you didn't either. And you could tell the other two noticed. 

///

"Claire is finally completely moved in!" Kiara chirped. She sat across the dance floor with you, stretching her fingers to meet the tips of her toes. The townhouse she bought with her cousin in mind was finally home sweet home for both girls. "You'll have to meet her! Angus and Soren already have, I called them to help move a few heavier things."

"Yeah, sounds good." You struggled to respond, only half listening. Your brain was busy focusing on the way your body worked to stretch out every imperfection, every negative thought and feeling. But the way Kiara called your name next forced your undivided attention.

"Look, I get that things have been fucked up recently. You know I know that." Your friends voice shook a little, and a pain rang through your chest at the sound. She lost a friend too. "But you've been especially weird. What's going on, huh?" Kiara sounded almost angry. But then you recognized it was simply hurt spilling over. And you'd been caught. And you couldn't brush her off. Not when she was looking at you like that.

"It's just..." You breathed in, struggling to know where to start, totally unprepared to have been put on the spot here at the studio. And then your instructor was calling everyone to get ready for class. Thank God.

"Later, okay?" You stood, extending a hand for Kiara to grab. She did so and shrugged her way to the middle of the dance floor with a puzzled expression ever glued on you. And that's how it stayed all night. She watched your face for a crack in its resolve. You just danced. You turned every 'what if' away from your mind and let the music flood your system. You ignored Kiara's curious glances and danced like your life depended on it.

When the hour was up and the group was heading out, Kiara made a beeline for you. But so did your instructor.

"Stay later?" He beamed, nodding your way as he walked off, having already decided for you it seemed. 

"I can wait up for you!" Kiara lifted her brows in a hopeful manner, stalling to put her shoes back on. 

"I don't know how long I'll be." You realized. Halfway trying to get her to give up, and halfway telling the truth. You knew Kiara was simply trying to check in with you. But if you hadn't even been ready to talk to Angus about everything, it sure didn't feel right to bring it all up to Kiara on a whim.

"I don't mind waiting. We could go for drinks or something. I just think-"

"Kiara... no. Please, I honestly can't do this tonight. Not with you." You spoke a little too quickly, a little too fiercely. You immediately regretted shutting her out as the words spilled from your mouth. And then you watched your friends face turn into a grimace.

"Don't be cunty to me when all I'm trying to do is be there for you." Kiara spat back before bending down to pick up her shoes. 

"Ki, I'm sorry-" You hurried to plea as she began to turn for the door. 

"I'll call you when I'm less pissed off." She waved her hand for you to stay back, to stop following her toward the door. As she began to push out of the exit, she stalled to turn back and say one last thing. "No, actually, you need to call me when you get over yourself." And with that she was gone. And she was right. But you had absolutely no time to process that interaction before your instructor was snapping for your attention. 

"You girls seem close." The man teased with a twisted sort of smile. You let out a huff of a laugh, uncertain how to otherwise respond to this man you knew absolutely nothing about outside of his dance credentials. He could kick higher than anyone you knew. And he always got a little too into the salsa, no matter his partner. 

"Anyway, you know we're all dying for you to nail next month's audition for the traveling team. I wanted to share some pointers with you, if you're serious about try outs?" The man reveled, smiling as he waited for you to respond. The studio was so quiet without the chatter from the others. Without the thuds from their feet parading across the floor. 

"Yeah, that would be so generous of you." You nodded. With your finals having gone horrifically so far, your newly forming plan was to nail this audition, hedge your bets on your newfound talent to land you a decent career while you were young and able. 

For the next half hour, as Chopin's Nocturne No. 2 filled the room, your instructor was straightening your posture after spins. You ignore the way his hands lingered at the bend of your waist. He watched you glide from one movement to the next, praising what you got right and coming over to correct your mistakes. He turned your head in the right direction. He moved your arms to fan out more evenly. He let his fingers trail across your spine as he rambled about how important visible strength was to the judges.

"You'll want to be certain of your timing. And you'll have to be confident in every little flex of your finger." The man hummed, "But if you're looking to nail down a yes for your audition now," He said, reaching out to move you a little too forcefully toward your mark, his grasp remaining. "There is one thing you could do."

Oh hell no.

"Fuck you." You hissed, shoving the instructor's hands away from your hips and shuddering at the realization of his implication. Watching the man's face fall into a frown when he realized you couldn't be so easily persuaded gave you a new set of chills.

"Let me be frank. If you don't sleep with me, I won't vote for you, and you need each judges vote to get in." As he spoke, he reached a bold hand toward you. There was no question in your mind to hesitate before you extended your own set of digits to slap across his face.

"How fucking dare you." You spat, moving in a hurry to collect your things. Your shoes were still off and you dropped your sweater on your way out the door. But there was no chance in hell you were turning back for it. All you could do was sprint toward the main road, desperate for a cab. 

This was all so fucked. You felt like you had absolutely nothing left to hold out hope for. You were failing school. You were pretty certain you'd ruined things with Angus because of a stupid drunken hook up. Kiara was pissed at you. Tom was dead. And you just had your only outlet for all this shit ruined by that creep of an instructor. 

You couldn't stop thinking of the last thing you heard Tom declare. How he was so ready to graduate and get the cat he'd always wanted and a job of his dreams. How he had it all planned out, and how you knew it'd been going well enough to likely come together the way he'd hoped. But it was all for nothing. And here you were, living some actual Shakespearean level nightmare. Why were you the one spared by fate? The one without a stich of the future figured out for the better. It wasn't fucking fair, for you to keep this farce of a life in crippled traction. It wasn't fair for Tom to be dead. You couldn't even successfully catch a cab. The road was bare of traffic.

But you weren't left stomping down the pavement long before a set of headlights blinded your vision.

"What the hell are you doing?" Soren's recognizable lilt came booming from beyond his cranked down pickup window. You stopped in your tracks, squinting to see his car stalling near the sidewalk just before you. "Get in here!"

You weren't going to argue, this late, this cold. You must've looked a sight, shoeless and tear stained. Soren's passenger seat was cluttered, but it didn't take him long to toss the books and papers to the back seat.

"Where the fuck are you coming from? Why are you crying?"

"Cause life is fucked up Soren." You sniffled, finally putting your shoes on. Your friend started to drive off then, but wouldn't stop asking what happened or if you were okay. 

"I'm fine. Thank you for the rescue."  

He explained that he was coming home from work. He asked if he should take you home, or to Angus' dorm. And that made a new spring of angry hot tears pool in your gaze. It was all you could do to breathe steadily, before shaking away your emotion to finally answer your friend.

"I'm so sorry. It's just been a really shit day. And that's really saying something lately isn't it?" You laughed, despite yourself, and so did Soren. Though his eyes stayed curiously drifting from the road to your slump to the right of him.

"Kiara and I had a weird fight. And then I quit dance class. And I left my favorite sweater there." You whined, ultimately deciding you owned someone an explanation. And Soren had already accepted you in his ride in your sorry state. 

"We can turn back! Do you want to get-"

"No." You demanded. "The instructor guy is a creep. I never want to see him again. And I don't want to see Angus. I just want to go home. Please."

Soren spoke your name lowly, begging to know more. But you couldn't. You just shook your head and thanked your friend again for the lift.

///

Claire

Kiaras cousin was a tall, sharp-witted model of a lawyer. She sat way to close to Angus on the loveseat, knees brushing. And he laughed way too hard at her jokes. It made you sick to watch the pair of them chuckle over a bottle of wine. What could they possibly have to laugh about? He was a brooding stick figure of a college student. And she was this blonde bombshell of an older woman. The pair of them colluding didn't make sense to you.

With the roll of your eye's you fled the living room for the kitchen, finding Kiara. She'd just finished perfecting another well made dinner. 

"Hey." You cautioned meekly, finding your friend shutting the oven door. The room was warm from the heat of the appliance. The air was thick with the scent of spices and herbs. Kiara turned to you with a faint smile, stalling for you to do the talking. And you knew you needed to.

"I'm really sorry I never called, like you asked. And I'm sorry for being so nasty that night." You frowned, meaning every word. You hated that your upset had spilled out into sharp words Kiara never should've received. 

"I'm sorry I called you cunty." Your friend shrugged before letting out a small chuckle. "But you can't keep shutting us out, babe."

Kiara's statement caught you off guard. You hadn't really realized that's what you'd been doing. But it was. You still hadn't given Angus any chance to talk. You yelled at Kiara when she asked what was wrong. And you brushed off Soren's concern when he gave you a lift home. But then a sudden irritation rose within you. 

"I guess I don't know what there is to say that you all don't already know. I guess I don't understand why Angus is laughing in the living room and why we're all pretending to have a nice dinner like everything is fine when it isn't."

"We're all still hurting," Kiara spoke your name, imploring for you to hear her. "What's so hard to understand about wanting to achieve some levity together?" Kiara sounded angry again, angrier than you. Angry at you.

"Why can't you let me be upset?" You quizzed, chest hot with misunderstanding.

"Why can't you let me move on?" Kiara demanded to know, voice full of emotion.

Just then Soren breezed in, setting his bag of comic books and weed on the kitchen island, asking how he could help set up for dinner. Kiara asked him to grab everyone drinks. Then she told you to carry out a pan of food to the table. Her tone was short and she wouldn't look you in the eye. You did as she asked, anger bubbling and brewing deeper in the pit of your stomach all the while. 

You ate dinner, asking Claire about Chicago. You pretended not to grimace at the sound of her shrill run on sentences. You reminded yourself your upset shouldn't be directed at this poor stranger of a woman. But it was hard not to seethe when she was sat in the fifth seat at the table. You and Soren each shared a glance or two of annoyance at Claire's hogging the nights conversation. 

When she wasn't speaking, Angus was asking her more questions. You watched him hang on her every word. You kept hoping he'd turn and give you those looks. You watched his fingers drum on the table, and wished his hands were holding yours. You realized then, just exactly how fucked you were. And how no matter when or how you had the inevitable conversation with Angus- that everything was different now between you two. When he started rambling about his thesis having something to do with ancient Roman law, you excused yourself again. 

Thinking fast, you gathered everyone's finished dinner plates to take to the sink, the perfect leave. Your anger dissolved into exhaustion by the time you reached the kitchen, you were getting a little sick of your own bullshit. You were growing weary over how out of control your life and emotions seemed these days. 

As you arranged the dirty dishes in the sink, something caught your eye from beyond the patio door windows. Through the never-ending fog of this San Fransico spring, a small grey blur. You turned your attention fully to the backyard, beyond the firepit, past the chairs. A slender grey cat was biting at the flowers Kiara planted for Tom. 

"Uh, guys." You called out for someone else to come and see this because there was no way they'd believe you if you simply told them. "Guys you have to come see this." You called again, a laughter breaking up your announcement. 

"What's wrong?" Angus came sauntering in, you heard him, but you didn't dare turn from the sight of the animal in the backyard. "Oh... my God." Angus approached, stalling at your side near the patio doors. He let out a chuckle too, disbelief painting a smile across his face that reached his almond eyes. You turned to look right at him. And he turned to look right at you. And for a moment you weren't sure what sight dazzled you more. The others came rushing in, pointing and laughing and standing in awe before the patio doors. The laughter that was born from shock kept erupting more and more between the four of you, until Soren was howling, and Angus was coughing and Kiara was nearly breathless.

"I don't get it. What's funny?" Claire asked, looming near the kitchen island with a look of perturbed wonder. Maybe Kiara was right. It was time to let some kind of light in.

///

"Open the dooooooor." Angus whined from outside your dorm, chanting the same thing over as you rushed to hide paper in your hands. It was a letter from your university.

You failed your finals. You failed this entire semester. 

Shoving the letter between your mattress and box spring, you clamored to unlock the door, letting your best friend inside. 

"Geeze, do you really have to lock all three locks on your door? I stood there freezing for hours it felt like, coulda died in that hallway."

"For somebody who came from a winter state you sure have a shit tolerance for temperature." You joked. But it had been a chilly spring. "I'm not taking my chances with the serial killers and the impatient East Coasters." 

Angus stood with his hands in his jacket pockets and that familiar brooding smirk on his face you were so damn endeared to. His smile was always a good sign. But still, you were suspicious of your friend's presence, still on uncertain terms.

"Want to come do laundry with me?" 

Finally, something normal. A usual request from Angus. A routine you could follow without question or wonder. Just a couple of spin cycles and whatever bullshit you each thought up to ramble over to pass the time. With a nod you grabbed your hamper and followed Angus to his car. The laundromat was a five-minute drive, one you spent turning the radio dials while Angus bitched about traffic. 

Inside the laundromat, rows of machines lined the walls and only a couple patrons stood separating whites from darks and folding fresh sheets. Some folk songs crackled from the speakers, but the whir of the dryers and washers drowned out the guitars. You each got down to business; loading your clothes into separate machines and lingering to wait on one another to head across the street. A diner waited, windows flooded with flyers and adds. 

Angus got you each a coffee and you ordered some fries. He mentioned going with Soren to a wedding in New York in a couple weeks. Yammering about summer plans. Angus considered the idea of tracking down his old professor when they got over there. You listened. You said you didn't have any plans. You clawed through topics in your head to keep up the facade of normalcy. But nothing could stop the silence that branched from the space in between you and your very best friend. You watched his lanky finger steal a fry from your basket without asking. You sat biting your lip instead of reprimanding him. 

"I took Claire on a date. Two nights ago." 

You nearly choked on the coffee you sipped to suppress your jitters. 

"Claire?" You rang, shooting Angus a look of disbelief. 

"I really like her. And she somehow really likes me." Angus reasoned, holding out a hand as if to pass along this information. You sat, playing back his sentence over and over in your head. Playing back the way they laughed together the night you met her. She seemed nice enough... But...

"I was going to wait and ask you... I don't know, for permission, I guess? But then I kind of figured if you wanted to talk about what happened with us, you would have by now. So that must mean you don't have anything to say, right? So, I asked Claire on a date. But then I felt like a real asshole about not telling you. So this is me... asking one last time. Do you want to talk about it? Do you care?" Angus ended his rambling admission by boring his dark eyes right into yours, and waiting. 

You sat, playing his words over and over. You sat remembering the warmth that filled your every cell when he first kissed you. You sat remembering how he said he wanted to do it again. You sat wondering why the fuck your body and your brain refused to function as a team, failing you from opening your mouth at all now. But if you couldn't do it... maybe Angus could.

"Do you? Care?" You dared to quiz the guy, your eyes darting between his, searching for understanding. 

"Wha- Why do-" Angus stuttered, his already furrowed gaze growing more perturbed by the second. "Are you listening? Do you hear me at all? I need to know how you feel." Angus leaned against the sticky table, as if his intense eye contact would get the answer he wanted out of you.

"I hear you." You breathed, nerves buzzing across your entire being.

"But are you listening?" 

"I can't stop you, Angus!" You finally burst. Anger pushed itself through your body until words formed against your better judgment. "If she makes you happy go for it. Hell, bring her over for dinner next Friday. It's the last one of the month."

Your friend sat obviously perplexed across from you. It was like he wanted you to tell him not to do it. But you couldn't stop Angus from living his life. You barely had control over your own these days. All you could muster up the ability to speak was a weak approval, despite the way your heart descended to your stomach.

///

"Here you are, dude." Soren handed you a coffee with a proud grin, like it was the first one he'd ever made. Your friend should've been proud, you ventured. His free spirit got the better of him years before now. He seemed to be finding his groove.

"Thanks sir. How'd you do on finals?" You really wanted to know his answer, knowing he'd worked so hard this year. Soren said he passed with flying colors. You said you knew he would. He said they'd all gotten together at Kiara's to celebrate. He said the cat came back. He said he really didn't think Angus and Claire made a good match at all. He wondered why you weren't there.

"I guess I wasn't invited. I haven't been a very good friend to Ki, lately." You shrugged. You knew you'd found yourself in this position by your own faults. But it still stung to know they'd gathered without you. 

"Oh. I thought it was an Angus thing." Soren shrugged. "He was real nervous about how you'd react to his asking Claire out and all."

"Yeah." You responded, searching Soren's gaze and watching him realize another customer was coming in. He smiled a sweet smile and hurried over to his register, giving you a wave from there. You shouted a 'see ya' on your way out.

///

You slaved over your stove the night Claire was meant to join your monthly get together. This all felt like a very bad idea. But Angus was your best friend. And you really did want to support him in whatever steps he put an effort into taking, in life.

Granted the two weeks they had been together were the longest of your college career. Tom was still dead, and Kiara was still cold with you. She let you come over and accepted your apologies. But she remained despondent the whole time you stayed, clearly in her head about things. But you understood what that was like. And weren't keen to push her further. 

Then your guests were here. And you felt even more like this was a very bad idea. But you played off your anxieties by deciding to pretend to be the best damn host on this side of the campus. You served Claire first and kept her glass of wine full and asked all about her life. Angus passed you several tight lipped smiles and subtle thank yous. You'd never met any girl he'd ever taken out. There had been a few, but none stuck around long enough. 

You could tell Claire really liked Angus. And he definitely deserved to be adored in the way the brilliant blonde was willing to adore him. But there was just something that undeniably clashed about their pairing. Maybe it was the fact she was a few years older, sleeker, more mature. Maybe it was how callow Angus seemed at her side. Or maybe it was just you.

When the night winded down and the girl offered to help you clean up, Angus went to the bathroom. And that's when a certain veil lifted. The pantomime of the evening enjoyed its intermission when Claire toted in a couple empty glasses to your sink. 

"I don't think I like you very much." She came right out with it. And not in a vindictive tone either. Just an honest one, and you respected that. 

"I see." You straightened your posture.

"I mean, you seem nice enough but... I don't like you around Angus. I'm sure if I ask, you'll lie but, have you two... ever..." The woman lifted a brow, drying off a couple plates as you rinsed some others. Passing a couple utensils through the water, you considered very carefully how to respond.

"Why should it matter? If nothing ever came of it?" You quizzed, shrugging your shoulders. The blonde at your side heaved a sigh through a gentle smile, continuing to help you clean up.

"Well, at least you didn't lie."

Angus swooped into the room soon after, suggesting it was time for himself and his date to take their leave. After a few minutes of pleasantries, they started out. But not before Angus flashed you an expressive lift of his brow, curl of his lip, as Claire turned to leave. He asked so much in that one glance, a talent of his you'd always been fascinated by. 

You flashed him a wide eye'd shake of your head, there was quite literally no time to talk about everything that had just happened tonight. But you hoped your face said it all just as well.

///

Soren sat across from you, hunched over his homemade lunch. You ordered a coffee from him before he took his break and scurried out to the tables to join you for a bit.

You swatted a strand of long sandy hair away from his meal and asked how he'd been. He mentioned being glad school was over for a bit. He mentioned the cat that kept showing back up at Kiara's patio door. He was convinced it was Tom, coming to visit. He knew it was crazy to think it, but he swore by his belief. He said Kiara thought he was nuts for it. He said she'd been grumpy lately anyway, cold. You selfishly hoped this meant she wasn't exclusively upset permanently with you. That she was just going through it.

"And don't even get me started on Angus and Claire." Soren scoffed, taking a bite of lunch. 

"Oh, please get started." 

"She's so possessive. Protective I could understand but she's possessive to a fault. He can't even bring up girls he works with, without Claire coming unglued." 

Well, that explained why you hadn't heard from your very best friend in a couple very long weeks. You phoned him the day after that fateful dinner. He never answered or returned the call. You hadn't even seen his car on the campus lot, as it began to empty out. Summer had officially begun, and most everyone was graduated or off coping with the last semester before the next one kicked off.

"He says hi, by the way." Soren rolled his eyes. "Shouldn't have to be the damn messenger. Jealousy confounds me." Your friend flared his nostrils and shook his head before taking another bite of his sandwich. You couldn't help but chuckle at your usually laid-back friend's fiery disposition.

"Thanks for filling me in. Wanna share some of that cookie?" You shrugged, changing the subject. There was nothing you could do to change the way things were. There was nothing more to say. You were beginning to cope with the fact that the morning Tom died, everything changed. Everyone was different for better or for worse. Life was different now. And you were beginning to cope with that fact.

///

Today was the day of auditions. You sure as hell were not about to show up and dance. But you couldn't stop staring at your calendar- and the note you'd left there ages ago to remind yourself about try outs. A fleeting wonder crossed you mind, about showing up anyway. A fleeting consideration pressed with in you, for the outcome if you were to dance your ass off to try and earn a spot you knew you'd never land- just to have the last laugh.

When the phone started to ring, your roommate answered. But it wasn't long until she was twirling the cord closer to you, heading to take over the sofa.

"You have a competition or something today, don't you?" Angus voice crackled through the telephone line. You leaned against the kitchen counter, eyes still glued to your calendar, and huffed a laugh. What an unexpected voice to hear, cutting through your what if's, today.

"No I uh, I changed my mind." You revealed. You hadn't told anyone what happened, not really. You felt like you had more pressing issues to consider, back then. And now you weren't sure if any of it still mattered or not.

"Oh." Angus replied in a shock that nearly took you by surprise. "Well in that case, want to go see a movie?"

He was outside your dorm honking ten minutes later. 

"I'm putting my shoes on, Geeze!" You hollered out the window. Angus yelled for you to hurry up, laying on his horn all over again. Your roommate started yelling soon after, demanding you get the hell out before Angus honking drove her bonkers.

"It's not my fault you called me so last minute!" You shouted, jogging to hop in his passenger seat. 

"It starts in like four minutes!" Angus whined to your amazement. He was such a pain in the ass sometimes. But then you smiled and realized that you hadn't been worried about something so trivial concerning Angus in a couple months. You'd missed the hell out of this. But... why was it happening now?

"Why did you call me to invite me to a movie if you thought I had a competition today?" 

"I called to wish you luck. And to apologize for not calling sooner. I've been pretty confused."

"Soren told me Claire's been a bit... territorial. You know that night at dinner while you were in the bathroom she told me she didn't like me?" You sighed a humorless laugh.

"Yeah." Angus scoffed a hopeless chuckle, breaking the speed limit all the while. You cursed at him to slow down before he went on to say, "She gave me an ear full that night too. And I wanted to respect her worries, ya know? Show her she had nothing to worry about. But then her worries turned into accusations, and the past two weeks have been constant interrogations with her. So, I broke up with her last night."

"Oh my God?"

Somehow, you actually didn't see that coming. Not so soon, anyway. Not so abruptly. While there wasn't much new information to process, the news still made your brain whir. A few billion what if's and what now's bubbled into the back of your mind while you realized the turn your evening had taken.

"I'm sorry she was rude to you. And I'm sorry I've been distant." Angus furrowed his brow and lowered his tone, speaking very seriously now. All the while he whipped his car into the movie theater parking lot and turned off the engine. "Now get out, we've already missed the previews. this is a Burt Renyolds film we're dealing with, go, go!"

"Oh my God, okay!" You hurried, slamming the car door shut. "No. Hey! Slow down it is not that serious." You remarked, following orders but refusing to jog at the speed Angus darted toward the theater doors.

Two tickets to The Longest Yard and one massive bucket of popcorn later, you were back to normal. Angus settled at your side and swatted at your hand when you reach for the popcorn at the same time as him. You plucked a kernel to toss at him in offense. He sighed and lifted a couple pieces to your lips as a silent apology. You chuckled and relaxed and thanked God for the turn of events. 

You learned not to take it for granted. It could very well be the last evening of its kind you got to share with Angus. Death and dates and all kinds of reasons kept getting in the way of normalcy for the pair of you. Maybe that's what adulthood was. Maybe that was life. But so was this. And for that you were grateful.

The ride home was short, and filled with chatter about the film. And when Angus pulled into an actual covered parking space instead of haphazardly in front of your building; you felt hopeful that meant he would stick around.

"Wanna come in for a bit?" You offered, glad for the way you'd been able to banter so easily tonight. Longing to stretch out your visit, craving connection with Angus for longer than a few weeks now.

"I gotta meet up with Claire to give her some stuff back. I owe her that much." Angus stretched out his words, leaning his head against the back of the seat, turning to give you a sorry smile. You could tell he didn't want to go, not really. But he was right.

"I've just really missed you." You decidedly shrugged, looking right at him. Not even just the way he touched you that night. But his well-meaning laugh and his stories about what he'd been reading. His looks for you to decode across rooms. Him.

Angus nodded, that brooding grin of his forming across his features. He reached a hand across the bench of his front seat, tracing a finger against your thigh. You watched his hand ghost to stall on your knee- before you held out a slacked arm, scooting closer all the while. You needed him to wrap his arms around you, no matter what that meant. No matter what he felt when he did it. You needed him to. 

And he did. Angus welcomed your embrace with his own, holding you tight in place for a moment before his head buried into the crook of your neck. You weren't even thinking when you moved your hands to brush his hair back. Angus moved as you did, his hold on you stayed steady, but his eye blinked up to meet yours.

And then you realized it was happening again. Your heart began to hammer, you knew he could feel it. Your brain buzzed with thoughts of only Angus. Your eye's longed to gaze more intently into his. Your hands wandered to consider the curve of his spine, the strength of his core.

"I've missed you too." Angus whispered, as his arms loosened, his hands trailing to the bend of your waist. 

The kiss that followed was fierce. Your teeth clashed with Angus' and your breath caught in your throat. His fingers gripped to grab at your shirt, yanking you toward him. Your knees settled on either side of his hips. Your nails scratched along his torso before landing on his belt. It was just like before, neither of you could move fast enough. Every move seemed detrimental. But no touch lingered long enough to drive you crazy. You wouldn't let it. You needed to get to the point.

Angus picked up on your desperate pace, aiding in undoing his belt while his lips brushed along your neck. A quick shuffle of fabric was the last step to take before you were easing into Angus' lap completely as possible. You were sober enough this time to think to lock eyes as you rocked against him, shivering at the sight of Angus slack jawed enjoyment. 

He let one hand brush across your cheek as his other clawed at your thigh, pulling you close as possible. You watched in awe as Angus stuttered a curse. You moved with intention, and he did too. Trailing his fingers from your face, to your chest, to the very middle of you- adding immensely to your pleasure. It was your turn to stammer curses and struggle to catch a steady breath. It wasn't long before you both reached your peak. But it felt like forever. It felt like all of time and space had collided to stall, as you shagged Angus in the front seat of his car. You relished every flame of feeling. You savored the way his eyes stayed locked with yours. You reveled in the smile that turned to corners of his lips upward. You had really missed him.

Quiet filled the car as you slinked up and away, falling into a puddle nearer the passenger seat. Angus cleared his throat, moving to fasten his trousers. 

"Now what?" He asked in a hush. 

"You gotta go. Right?" You shrugged. That was that. Right? 

/// 

The Summer

Kiara followed her internship to Canada for the season. Tom was still dead. You had no dance class. You had just failed your semester. Angus and Soren had left for some wedding in New York. Not that their absence mattered much anyway. Because your best friend hadn't spoken to you since the spontaneous movie night. Since the second more profound and regrettable hook up. Not that you wished you never done it. But that you wished you would have said something different when it was over. Something that didn't make Angus jaw clench as he watched you get out of his car.

Several days passed since you'd heard from Angus. Despite the few times you'd called and the once you'd turned up at his dorm only for his roommates to shrug and say he'd been out all night. Then it was time for the New York trip.

And it seemed unstoppable, the call from your bed to stay there. You had no reason at all to get up. You had nothing to do. Nothing to think about. For days you stayed locked up in your room, completely despondent to any and everything.

Then your roommate knocked persistently enough to stir you from your den. She mentioned her flight for Japan was in a couple hours and asked for a ride to the airport. Your bones ached to move, your brain longed for a fresher perspective. So, you decidedly ended your wallowing in your own despair to slip into a change of clothes and drive to the airport.

The drive was refreshingly quiet. The blue of the sky and the air through the windows made you feel free. Made you realize you were not as trapped in that little campus as you felt. Your roommate had been fiddling with the radio dial as you'd considered the great big world beyond her dodge dart.

"Oh my God, hey!" Your roommate chirped over the crackle of a news anchors morning announcements of weather and traffic conditions. "Today is your birthday, isn't it?"

"Holy shit." You realized. "It is." you'd been so lost in the cave you created out of bed sheets that you'd almost lost track of time. Your roommate proceeded to shower you with well wishes, asking if you had any plans. 

You did. Earlier in the year, Angus talked you into going out on this date, having a ball. When you'd each gone through the calendar at the start of the year, you realized each of your birthdays were on the last Friday of either month. Angus said that was too crazy to be a coincidence. He said you needed to make the most of these celebrations. But that was back when things were different. 

"Not sure. After I drop your car off, I'll see where the day takes me."

"About that." Your roommate proceeded to inform you that she wasn't just visiting Japan. She'd decided last minute to move there, start anew. She had a fiancé and a place to go, and an abundance of plans. She wondered if you could leave her car for sale in the school lot and mail her the money. Lots of favors from this one today, you thought. But then...

"How much?" You wondered. Your roommate rambled about how much she paid for it, thinking of selling it for half the price now. 

"I'll buy it." You blurted, surprising yourself even. You'd had funds saved up now with nothing to spend them on. You may as well had started thinking of your new path forward. 

"Oh, that's right," Your roommate realized you'd been without your own transportation for a while now, and said she felt silly for not thinking to offer it to you right away. Once stalled outside the airport you wondered how much money you stashed in your wallet, finding only a couple hundred dollars. Your roommate stuck her hand out as you passed her the bills, but you were shocked when she handed you most of it back. 

"Happy birthday, and thanks for the ride. It was nice bunking with you!"

In the span of a thirty-minute ride you'd been shown a kindness that filled your heart. You'd considered new sets of hope you'd never knew existed. You saw the sun. You gained a car. You turned another year older. 

Driving back to campus, dread threatened to overcome you once more. But it was your birthday damn it. You had to find some way to keep yourself from slipping back into that bed of yours. 

To the cafe, it was. And to your surprise, Soren was there. 

"Happy birthday!" Soren smiled, arms opened wide behind the counter of his job. You chuckled and leaned across the sticky space to hug your friend. He said he'd tried to stop by your dorm this morning but no one answered. He must've arrived there as you left.

"I forgot you were meant to be back so soon." You said.

"My flight landed a couple days ago, Angus stayed to meet up with that old teacher he always talks about." Soren shrugged, going on to gush about the wedding they'd attended. And how much fun the boys had free of studies and schedules, away together. You stood there and listened, happy for Soren on one hand. Hurt by Angus absence all the while.

"Angus didn't say when he'd be back. But I swore I saw his car today. Could've just smoked too much before my shift though." Soren laughed as he poured you a coffee, free of charge. For your birthday, he insisted. You smiled and thanked your friend. Pursing your lips to suppress the surprising amount of emotion that rose within you at how kind everyone was being today. How much you didn't feel like you deserved their kindness.

"Thanks. Have a good shift, friend." 

Your next stop was the market. Your cupboards were bare, you already knew. And now that you were out of your stupor, your stomach ached with hunger. Some dinner, a drink, and a little tiny cake because why the hell not. Whether you deserved everyone else's kindness, you were allowed to make the most of today, right?

The afternoon passed slowly, light turning to dark outside. You considered Soren's story, how he thought he saw Angus' car today. How there was a chance he was back on campus. With a shot in the dark, you rang his dorm with your fingers crossed. No one answered, but you couldn't be too disappointed. He was still on the East Coast, you decided. He would've stopped by today right? If he was back in town, and if he knew it was your birthday, he would've stopped by. 

But then, you knew he knew it was your birthday. And night turned to morning, and he hadn't called. He would've at least called, right? If you hadn't fucked it all up, he would've. If everything hadn't changed, he should have. But all of a sudden it was four in the morning. And the slice of cake you'd saved just in case Angus came around was swiftly sent to the garbage. And the realization that everything was different was followed by the understanding that you didn't have a single thing stopping you from starting all over.

You cleaned up and found your suitcase and started throwing things in. Forming a quick plan, you found a notebook and a pen and hurriedly wrote your friends name on one side and a quick note on the other. Even though you were pissed at Angus, and hurt and confused by the turn your friendship had taken, he still deserved a goodbye.

'i dropped out. might call when i get settled someplace. here is to hoping you'll answer if i do'

It was cutting. It was short. But it was all true, and it wass the best thing you could think up, so hastily. You zipped your bags and threw them in your new back seat. You marched to Angus' dorm and slid the note under his door. You zoomed off campus and felt the weight of all that had happened fall from your chest.

You looked ahead as day light broke on the horizon, and smiled.

///

The Future

For a month, you kept your job cleaning houses, crossing the bridge to the rich neighborhoods as often as you could. You'd found a perfect little flat on the outskirts of a suburb. You even considered applying to some of the shops along the town's strip so you wouldn't have to drive as often.

You'd banked on the kindness of delivery drivers to help you move a bed and a few other furnishings into your new space. You'd decorated with mementos you'd clung to from childhood, and a couple pictures of the four greatest friends you'd ever had. When Tom was still alive, and everyone was carefree. Though all of that had ended, the photos you cherished from before brought you the same happiness you'd felt when the snapshots were taken.

You'd called Soren once or twice. To make sure someone knew you weren't dead. To make sure he was still showing up on time to work and to listen to the plot of whatever comic he was in the middle of reading. If conversation began to drift too far outside of those topics, you'd let your friend know you had to go, but promised to keep in touch.

You were just starting to feel like life made sense. You were just beginning to consider that not all hope was lost. While you were still at a loss for what to hope for, you were beginning to consider that there was a future beyond despair. Maybe it was finally time to call your best friend. Maybe you could talk to him now, without completely losing it...

You kept these thoughts at bay, not daring to let them spin your mind and soul into a depression. You pulled into a gas station, deciding only to occupy your afternoon with trivial things. With easy thoughts and simple tasks. You were allowed to do just that.

Just as you began to lose track of your thoughts in a daydream, leaned against your trunk watching the gas fill- a car screeched recklessly into the gas station lot. A woman carrying a couple of fountain sodas scurried out of the way of the boxy car and nearly dropped her beverages. A couple by standers cursed out the hapless driver as the car continued to skirt crookedly behind yours. You knew that make and model. You knew that scratched passenger door.

Oh, God.

Angus was clamoring from the driver's seat, slamming his door before he stomped up right to your face, yelling for the whole lot to hear.

"You dropped out?" Angus hissed. His dark curls bobbing as he pointed an angry finger your way. You saw a funny little rage in his gaze. And that pissed you off more than you'd already been.

"Oh, you found my note? How long did it take you?" You jabbed. "Three or four days? Week or two?"

"You can't drop out! There is only one year left!" Angus was in awe, waving his hands at you, yelling like there was a bubble between the pair of you he had to shout past to get your attention.

"I'm surprised you're aware of that. Haven't necessarily been keeping track of important dates as of late, have you?" You shot the guy a glare that could have killed him if your eyes were lasers or worse.

"Look, I know. I'm sorry. I am sorry." Angus whined your name, reaching out to grab your arm as you adjusted the gas pump from your car to its holder.

"For what?" You challenged. Because you believed he still hadn't realized how important this last time his absence had been.

"For going M.I.A. For not calling. For... everything. I have missed you, I just-" Angus sighed and cast his eyes down in shame you could feel begin to radiate from him. But ache as your heart might've for him, because it always had, you were far from done being mad.

"You've never missed my birthday before." You rose a brow, a sting filling up your chest that you had to make it so obvious to him. Angus head rose up slow, his downtrodden gaze turned into one of shock horror.

"Oh my God, no." He frowned. "No, no, no- I'm... so sorry," Angus called your name as you rolled your eyes and turned to open your car door. His please for you to stop mixed among a billion sorry's in the span of a minute. His hand stalled on your driver's door, and you stood glaring as Angus began to ramble. "Soren barely knew you'd left. He couldn't help me." Angus explained. "I went all around campus asking if you'd told anyone where you'd gone. So last resort, I drove across the bridge to Miss Julie's to ask if she'd seen you, and finally-"

Mid sentence, your brain whirred. This mother fucker drove an hour and a half across the city to ask a woman whose house you cleaned every other weekend if she'd seen you? Okay, maybe he cared more than you thought.

"And you don't call, you don't write, you leave me a vague ass note like I-"

And then you were pissed again. Because you did call. Angus was the one who left you hanging this last time.

"Angus, we are not doing this here." You swatted at him, breaking his grip on your car door. With a heavy sigh you asked him to follow you to your new little flat. Where you could yell all night long without a lot full of strangers gawking at the pair of you.

Your grip was white knuckled the whole drive home. Your heart was in your throat. There was no getting out of whatever confrontation that laid ahead with you and Angus. This was it.

You parked in your usual spot and marched toward the apartments to the tune of Angus slamming his door. You reached your home in a couple of turns, unlocking the door, and letting it swing open behind you. Angus slithered in as you hurried inside, straight for the bottle of rum on your counter. Finding two glasses in the cupboard, Angus stalled in the middle of your living space and decidedly went on where he left off. 

"Why the hell didn't you tell me about dropping out?" He called your name. His voice was softer than it had been at the gas pump. But his tone was more desperate. You took a sip of your drink, and slid his toward the end of the counter, locking eyes. You moved closer toward where he stood as Angus went on. "Why the hell didn't you tell me what happened with that dance instructor. Shit, you barely told Soren. But he knew. Why won't you talk to me?" Angus brought a hand to his middle, like he was holding in everything from spilling over. His usual brooding expression was downcast more than usual. His hair a little longer. His eyes still your favorite pair. You had really missed Angus.

"I don't know Angus! I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me. I tried so hard to pass finals and I failed harder the more I tried. I gave everything I had to that dance class, and it blew up in my face. And then you... us... I couldn't afford to fuck up anymore. I had to go." You spoke, emotion raising in your voice as you stood sweeping a hand to gesture as you explained.

"You didn't fuck everything up. You can still take summer classes. You can fix it. You can find a new dance class. And I... you didn't fuck us up." Angus declared, speaking clearly but wearing a look as if he may have been unsure of himself. You watched as your friend took a few steps toward the drink you poured him. In the matter of a moment, his taste of rum was gone, and he was shamelessly reaching for the bottle to pour another drink.

"What if what I want doesn't matter?" You started, as he poured. "I tried so hard to pass and I failed. I tried so hard to dance and none of my practicing mattered more than a sexual favor would've. What if... what if I want you? What will the catch be? Because there seems to always be one, with me." You'd never been more clear. 

"Look I wasn't sure what we were going through at first." Angus sighed after sipping his second drink. And then he took a moment to glance about the room, seeming to decide something. "But then I went to that wedding, and I realized exactly what I wanted and how I felt. It's still confusing, you and me. But I want there to be a you and me, okay?" He seemed to mean it. He seemed to really mean what he said. But there was still a look of unnerve painted across his features.

"Angus you forgot my birthday." You reminded, downing the rest of your drink. Cocking his head sorrily, Angus reached for the rest of his rum.

"I know." He said. "And I'm sorry. I was late getting back into town." Angus sighed. "And my mother was in my dorm room when I got back, imagine that surprise-"

"Your mom?" You gasped. In the entire three and a half years you knew Angus, he'd only spoken about the woman twice, and spoken on the phone with her once. She'd never come to visit. As you processed this information you watched Angus' jaw clench, his teeth dig into his lip, his brow darken. 

"Yeah, so my dad... he, uh-" Angus blinked up to the ceiling, unable to hide the tremble in his voice.

"Angus, no."

"I tried to visit him when I was out there, after I met up with Paul. But when I asked to see my dad they said he'd been moved out of the facility for months, moved to some hospital, no one could remember which. And then my flight... And she didn't even tell me he'd been sick. She refused a funeral. And I never even got to say goodbye." Angus spoke like every word tore at his throat. Tears pooled in his eyes, falling when they filled up too much. 

"Why didn't you start with that?" You rang, unable to comprehend how so much loss and hurt could continue to reign over this year. You stepped forward to reach for Angus, grabbing at his arms and moving to smooth back his hair, wiping away the tear drop he missed with his sleeve.

"Because" Angus implored, shockingly ready with an answer. "This has been way too confusing for way too long and I couldn't keep it in any longer." He waved at the space that existed between you and himself, keeping his bloodshot brown eyes lasered to yours all the while. "If I want you, and if you want me, then what's stopping this from happening for us?"

"Because," You began, deciding in this moment to be brutally honest. The most honest you'd been all year. "I'm scared."

Angus shook his head, rejecting your reasoning. 

"You don't think I'm fucking scared too?" He huffed like it was obvious. But it hadn't been to you. "I love you. And that's terrifying. I'm in love with you. Enough to wait for you to say it back, if you want to. But you better only decide against this if you don't want it. You can't let this pass us by just because you're scared."

You struggled to hold back the tears springing into your eyes. You struggle to croak out any response that wasn't a curse. You struggled to wrap your mind around all that had been said. You couldn't help but let a sob escape, too overwhelmed by it all.

And then Angus was crying too, really crying. There was no reason left to hold back, to keep emotions locked down. Everything was out in the open now. Every tattered heartbroken truth had been shared. And there was nothing you could do to make it all better, no way to make sense of it in a flash. But you knew you could wrap your arms around Angus and hold on for dear life. 

When his lips met the crown of your head, you were reminded of every time he'd done so before. You were reminded of every late-night pub crawl and bad first date and mean teacher. You remembered every weekend road trip, every movie night in, every homemade dinner. And then you thought of now. You thought of all the hurt. You thought of all the tension and all the grief and all the looks across rooms shared with Angus. You hadn't a clue how to move ahead with him. You wanted to move ahead, but you just couldn't see how.

You began to push away. You shouldered out from Angus' hold on you and wiped at your eyes with a sleeve. You, gently as possible, moved his hand that clung to your side still. 

"Don't do that. Don't shut me out again." Angus implored; voice still wrought. Eye's still bright with sadness. 

"I know it's not what you want but I don't have any other answer for you right now. I'm sorry about everything too, Angus. I'm so sorry about your dad. But I can't- I don't know. Not yet." You sniffled. 

"This didn't go how I hoped." Angus released a heavy sigh, turning to pace before your kitchen counter. "But I'm gonna do what I said." He pointed at you. "I'm gonna wait and hope you'll give me a chance. I just need to make it clear that I don't want any version of my future to be without you in it. So... whatever you decide... I just love you okay? Do you hear me?" Angus rang. Then you remembered how he asked that same question at the diner. 

"I'm listening. And I hear you. And I'm sorry. Just... give me more time."

Angus left that afternoon with a grin when you asked him to stop back again in a couple days. And you went to bed that night in tears, happy or sad you weren't sure. 

///

A few months had passed since Angus appeared out of nowhere and berated you in the gas station parking lot. He was starting his final year of school. He stopped over most Fridays, and some nights in between. Sometimes Soren came with him, and you'd all stay up past midnight cackling like a band of fools. You'd sent Kiara your new address, and she sent some post cards from Canada. The messages she included were never very long, but she always signed her name with a heart dotting the I. 

On the weekends Angus hung around, he mentioned missing Tom. He mentioned wishing he didn't have to miss Kiara too. Wishing for one more night all together. When Angus hung around, he talked a lot about his studies and the stories from the history books he'd been learning. When he hung around, he'd sometimes end up staying the night. When he left the mornings after, he'd always end up coming back around.

You kept cleaning houses. You kept those old pictures hung up like trophies. You wondered about finding a new dance studio on this side of town. But you weren't sure if you were ready. So, all things considered, you went to that little cafe on your old campus to find a friend for lunch.

"So, I went to Claires house yesterday." Soren began his story with a wry grin, unwrapping his meal from home. The coffee shop was busier than usual, full of students new to campus and ones eager to leave. "I asked her if that cat still hung around. Long story short she said if I could catch him, I could keep him. So I went to the gas station on the corner and bought a bag of jerky. Set up a little trail from the fence to the patio. It was about an hour before the little guy showed up. He didn't even go for the jerky he just came right up to me and let me pick him up!"

Soren went on to explain how easy it was to take the cat home and how soundly the pet had been sleeping in his window sill. You laughed and beamed and felt glad for the outcome on your friend's behalf. You couldn't imagine the basket case he'd have become if the cat fought his capture. 

The cafe began to crowd with more people, somehow, standing between tables that all filled up with patrons. Soren sighed and rushed to finish his food, knowing they'd want his help the busier business got. 

"We really need to meet up sometime when it's not your break." You mentioned. He nodded, sharing part of his dessert like he always did. 

"Do you always bring your lunch? I never see you order here." You realized, suddenly. Besides coffee, there were some reasonably decent snacks the cafe had to offer. But Soren never seemed to indulge.

"I don't even like coffee, man." 

You laughed and wondered why the hell he worked here then. 

"It's the first job that called me back after an interview. It's the job that got me out of debt. I love it here. Everything comes full circle, ya know?" Soren explained, but you asked him to go on still. 

"It's like with Tom. He died, man. But that little grey cat that ate the flowers we planted for Tom lets me feed him fast food every night. You can't convince me that's not my friend. He came back." Soren waved a hand, as if to rope his next point in with the one he'd just made. "I needed money, I got a job and made enough to pay off my debt and enough to pack my own lunches every day. Everything we want is already ours. If it doesn't happen one time it'll happen another. It's all a big circle."

Somehow, a light switched on in your brain. Somehow, everything you'd been worried about didn't feel so heavily weighed on your chest. Somehow, you had an answer for Angus.

"Soren, you brilliant hippie freak." You gawked at your friend in awe as he rushed to take one last bite of the sandwich he'd brought. Soren was hurrying to stand, hurrying to get back to work. And you were suddenly in a rush too, now that everything clicked. With a quick hug goodbye, you darted for the shop doors, excusing yourself through a crowd of grumpy college students eagerly awaiting their caffeine fix.

///

Your home was quiet, the good kind. Stillness welcomed you as your thoughts continued to align in place for what felt like the first time in your entire life. Your brain was free of cluttered worries. Your heart was beating at a steady pace. It was all clicking. And you even still had a couple hours to make a decent dinner for two.

Angus arrived when he said he would, bursting in the door with complaints of teachers who were bad at their jobs and students who were too dumb to care. You laughed and listened and set a place at your table for him. Over dinner, you talked about considering dancing again. Angus encouraged you. He talked about taking a year after graduating to relax. You said he should. You each helped clean up easily and welcomed the quiet together. 

You each floated to the couch afterward like you were used too by now. You let the telly play whatever was on, and relaxed under the weight of your best friends arm that laid over your shoulders.

"Angus..." You decided, grabbing his attention as both of your eyes stayed glued to the actor on the screen. Your friend hummed in response. 

"I miss the way everything was before." You admitted. You missed your friends, the nights you all spent as a group. You missed the life you'd had worked out for yourself back then. You noticed Angus had turned his head to face you, his brows lifted as if to display sympathy. His grief free to reveal itself for a moment. Angus' almond eyes floated from his lap to meet yours as you shot him a pursed shrug. 

"It scares me that this is what life has played out like." You went on, watching Angus watch you speak. His eyes landed on your lips. His voice was a whisper when he asked you to go on. 

"What if we keep changing?" You implored, nodding toward Angus as his gaze danced from your eyes to your mouth. "If we fall in love I want it to stay that way. I can't have you be my next great disaster. I'd rather keep you at a distance than dare to let you break my heart somehow." You revealed. 

Angus rose his hand to brush across your face. He let his fingers find your hair and curl among the strands.

"We've already lost a bit of what we were before, haven't we?" You begged for clarification, validation, mutual understanding. If you were gonna let him in, you needed Angus to remember all the reasons you'd been weary to do so, up till now. You needed to make sure his mind hadn't locked onto worry and changed.

He was pressing a gentle kiss to your lips then. A simple soft gesture that lingered with intention. 

"Why does it have to be lost? Why can't it just be changed for the better?" Your friend wondered, his voice low, his presence before you whole and consistent as ever. You'd heard enough to shut up and kiss him back. And then it was happening, what usually happened when Angus kissed you. Your heart hammered and your brain latched onto thoughts of only him and your hands gripped to pull him close. 

Angus dragged you to bed, something that had happened a few times here, in this new reality. You did all the things there that you had done before. You marveled over how Angus held you and cared for you and stared at you with undeniable adoration.

And after a while, when you'd both done all you could do, you laid there still. In the low lamp light, you stayed tangled up with Angus, running fingers through his hair and listening to his heartbeat. And you talked about what compelled each of you to kiss in the first place. You talked about how you felt the night he shagged you on the guest bedroom floor. He talked about how overwhelmed he was when you boned him in the front seat of his car. You collectively wondered how different things might've turned out if Tom didn't die. If school went better. What life would look like now, if things were different.

"I don't know. I've been worried that I don't have control over anything. Like my whole life has just happened to me. What if that's like... my curse?" You sighed, staring up at the amber glow from your bed side lamp.

"I've been where you are, before. When I met Paul. And one night he told me 'your history doesn't have to define your destiny.' And that rocked my world, man." Angus lamented. "I wish I could explain it all away for you just as easy. But all I can do is wait, and hope something clicks for you. Wait and hope you'll see something good enough in me to let me prove it to you. That's what love is, isn't it? Or could be?"

"Yeah. It already clicked for me." You revealed. It was time. It was easy to admit. It was true. Angus hummed as a plea for clarity, tapping his finger against your temple out of habit, you assumed. 

"It already clicked for me. That can be what love is. We can be in love and scared about it together." You said. 

The room filled with a quiet you were familiar with. Angus laid still beneath you. Until finally he spoke up. 

"You mean that?" 

Soren said that everything you may have wanted in life was already yours. And some how that made sense. No matter that Tom died, he was your friend. Nothing could change that fact. Kiara had been so distant, but she was writing to you. She came back. Soren caught the cat. And Angus laid in your bed. And no matter what had happened before, he was here now, and you didn't want to take that for granted out of fear it might all slip away. 

With a grin and a nod, you shifted to meet Angus' almond eyes. His were hazy under his brooding brow. You were glad you didn't have to miss him anymore. He was all yours. You'd always belonged to him whether you realized it or not. And nothing was going to change that.

///

That holiday season you joined Angus on a trip to the East Coast. He made fun of you for being so cold but shared his jackets all the while. Angus took you to all the places his dad used to like. You helped him hold a memorial his mother denied planning, and neither of you mentioned her at all. 

You sat beside him in a cab, watching a steady snow fall collect along the sidewalks. You were on your way to meet your boyfriend's favorite old teacher. You planned to tell him all about Tom. In fact, you had a lot of plans that featured Angus these days. And he, with you. And of that you were very happily certain.

[base0h]

Hiii :D

Wanna req some modern au Kid, Mihawk and Shanks with a s/o who always manages to zone out at the worst time possible, (like they're driving and stopped at a red light, not realizing that what seemed a moment later the light turned green and everyone is beeping at them or they're being late, smth distracts them and they literally just freeze in place lost in the most off topic thoughts ever) hcs or scenario, all's good with me gosh I zone out way too much

Gosh sorry for the long ask and since I'm here I just might remind you to go drink some water and take care of yourself, cuz we need ya and your hilarious writings here, to brighten up our days yk? ( ˙꒳​˙ )

love ya <3

a/n - ERROR HOW HAVE I BEEN LAUGHING FOR A SOLID TEN MINUTES AT THIS ASK SUEBDHBDHDBD 😭😭😭😭 awww I’m so glad that I can brighten up your guys’ days that really brightens mine 🥺💜💜

Warnings ⚠️ - cracky, g/n reader, modern au, shanks doesn’t have an arm (let’s just say it got bitten off by a shark because he thought drinking beer while surfing was a brilliant idea)

- watch him ban you from driving 💀

- last time you decided to drive to a coffee shop was the last straw for the poor man

- “Y/n please keep your eyes on the road.”

- *minute passes, now it’s a green light*

- he’s looking at a newspaper while people behind you guys are honking

- you had taken sight of a beautiful monarch butterfly, cruising around just outside your window

- you didn’t even realize the light had turned green

- Mihawk was about to get out of the car and go punch some people for honking but then he realized the light had been green for minutes, and you two were holding up the biggest line of cars he’d ever seen

- “Y/n! It’s green-!”

- He undid his seatbelt and climbed into the seat with you, hitting his head on the ceiling while simultaneously giving himself a bad back

- he pressed the gas while you stared at the butterfly, and you snapped out of it when you realized the car was moving, and Mihawk’s huge ass was right in front of your face

- “Mihawk what are you doing-“

- he sighed and kept driving forward until the light from before turned red right as he started going

- Cars from the right were about to crash into you too when you started screaming at him to go faster

- “MIHAWK GO GO GO GO GO-!”

- “THIS DAMN CAR WONT GO ANY FASTER! GET ON MY LEFT SIDE!”

- he was saying that to protect you, so that he would take most of the damage if you both were hit

- Luckily, you two made it to the next intersection just before getting hit, and there was a long silence in the car on the way home

- “… you’re banned from driving.”

- “BUT-“ “I don’t want to hear it.”

- “thank you for protecting me, don’t pretend like you didn’t do that 😏”

- “😐😑😐”

- he ignored you for about an hour after that (he wasn’t mad, just terrified)

- shanks is a horrible driver himself, so he gets it! He’s usually drunk while driving anyways!

- zoning out is totally fine because usually he’ll just stare at you and think about how beautiful/handsome you are 🥰

- today you both were driving to a movie, you had gotten a nice cup of coffee just before as well :)

- shanks was staring at his phone, struggling to figure out where the fuck he put the tickets

- you saw the most awesome skateboarder who was doing tricks along the sidewalk, and you managed to turn sharp left, almost straight into the sidewalk

- shanks immediately grabbed the wheel with his arm and swerved back, but the absolute boiling hot coffee cup was slipping through your grip

- poor shanks saw that and was starting to panic

- “Baby i only got ONE ARM-“

- the hot coffee spilled all over his lap and this idiot started screaming at the top of his lungs

- “BABE MY BALLS ARE GOING TO MELT WHAT THE FUCK WHY IS IT SO HOT?”

- bigass man baby woke you up and you started driving normally again, apologizing to your almost crying boyfriend for zoning out

- “My dick hurts.”

- “Please don’t ever say that again.”

- “BUT IT’S TRUE?? IT HURTS LIKE- HELL!”

- “also what were you looking at out there?”

- “some cool skateboarding guy.”

- excuse me-??

- “A guy?..”.

- “THATS WHY YOU BURNED MY COCK OFF BABE?! AM I NOT PRETTY ENOUGH?!”

- he started shaking your arm and you were literally about to crash, “SHANKS STOP IM GOING TO CRASH!”

- pls he’s a terrible driver just because of the fact that he will literally scream and flip someone off for not using their turn signal

- I imagine him to obey every single driving law except for the one “don’t be a fucking asshole”

- he oftentimes will ask for your help when he’s building stuff, like asking for tools and such

- “babe hand me the wrench.”

- “hammer.”

- “nails.”

- “water.”

- that’s basically what your job is. 💀

- he was welding today, and needed your help to place something at just the right time so he wouldn’t either burn your apartment down or burn his arm off

- “Babe, need it now.”

- you were tuned out completely, and of course at the absolute perfect time 🙂

- “babe.”

- he waved his other hand in front of your face to try and get your attention but that didn’t seem to work

- “Y/N L/N HELLO?!”

- kaboom

- smoke filled the room as you coughed and grabbed the thing you were supposed to hand him

- “Kidd you need this thingy yet??”

- …

- your audacity.

- his sllooooooooow turn of his head

- his face was stained with black smoke, a nail shooting out of his work and hitting him in the forehead as he stared down at you with the most dead expression

- you were dead. so dead.

a/n - not me being a little cheeky shit and giggling at my own writing 💀

[pumpkinbxtch]

“la gata bajo la lluvia” blurb

—leo valdez x mortal!reader

summary: you met leo by chance, you didn't think he would get into your bones that way but you knew it couldn't last.

warnings: sexual insinuations, language, angst.

a/n: ok, i hope you can forgive me bc i was kind of laughing while wrote this for my mexican ass just showing off. this took me just the morning after i listened this song.

“mi suerte ya estaba echada, ya lo sé...”

(my fate was already sealed, I know it... )

Demigods used to have something in common with their divine parents; children often forget that there's a current reality out there and tend to abandon it because their lives depend on something else all too often. One of those many things can be people.

Leo never meant to hurt you, but the mark on your heart had already been made.

“lo nuestro solo fué casualidad... ”

(ours was just a coincidence...)

You remember when he came in totally soaked from the rain outside, the bell tinkled, and he ran towards you. You thought the worst, that he was crazy, drunk, or that you were sitting in his favorite spot in that diner. But he stopped, his mouth slightly open, giving you the impression that he wanted something.

"He's handsome, I wish he wanted me," you thought instead.

— The sauce, pass it to me — he said, pointing to the Tabasco sauce bottle. "Wow, a Tabasco sauce thief," you thought. You looked at him more closely, noticing his greasy shirt, a multitool belt that seemed to be empty. "He must have had a rough day," you assumed, and rolled the bottle towards him. You wouldn't give trouble to a guy with that appearance, no matter how handsome he seemed to you.

He caught it right at the edge of your table.

— I owe you one — he said, and ran off. "Things that happen," you said to yourself, thinking you wouldn't see him again.

“La misma hora, el mismo boulevard”

(Same time, same boulevard...)

You loved the fries there; they were great, nothing better than enjoying them after work. The weather was still terrible. And the bell announced a new customer. As you were eating a piece of steak, you denied in your thoughts, "who goes out to eat with this rain?"

— hey — you raised your gaze and struggled not to choke on your food. The guy from last time! Soaked by the rain like last time, but his shirt was clean and his curls tangled by the moisture. "He's handsome," you thought again.

You lost track of how much time you spent talking and flirting with each other. Leo was funny, intelligent, and stupidly handsome. "God, I have to stop thinking about this or I don't know what I'll do."

What you ended up doing was finishing with him in a bathroom stall at the diner; it was already night, and the place was very sparsely populated. The moans echoed, and the small taps against metal reverberated as you twisted against each other's touch. Leo had his fingers roaming under your shirt while kissing your neck effusively, leaving a trail of wet kisses and nibbles that would have to be covered with makeup. He pressed you against the stall, and your hands desperately sought something better to do than clenching every time he kissed a perfect spot, which was difficult because he had been at it for half an hour. Your fingertips played with the buckle of his belt, and you felt the smile he formed against your lips.

— So that's where we were heading— he murmured in your ear with a raspy voice; a kiss on the collarbone made you tighten your grip on the metal piece.

That time it was in that place; the other times were in your apartment. The hours passed with you entwined with each other, giving each other the warmth that the weather outside couldn't provide while Leo whispered sweet things to you. You prayed it would never end, but you knew it wasn't possible; "how it begins, it ends," you thought.

You walked on the wet street. You covered your damp hair from the air to avoid catching a cold with the hood of your hoodie. Your hands brushed during the walk, and you tried to hook your pinky with his, you succeeded but Leo didn't make any gesture that pleased you, no other than the usual one. That uncomfortable smile with tired eyes.

That night would end, you knew it.

He wouldn't explain why, you knew it.

You wouldn't see him again, and you knew it.

Shit, you knew it.

“Tú te vas y yo me quedo aquí...”

(you leave and i stay here)

You let go of his finger; he didn't try to stop it.

Stopped walking, and he leaned in to give you a kiss.

— see you — he murmured before pressing his lips on yours as he had done hundreds of times before.

You nodded and gave him another small kiss. You heard that phrase for a whole month, but tonight seemed different.

He walked away, leaving you there, and you never dared to ask why he always headed towards the same rooftop of an abandoned house with the Tabasco sauce bottle in his hand. He held onto that sauce tighter than he ever held you to keep you from leaving or to stay a little longer. Before he entered that house, you turned around and walked straight home.

The drops falling from your wet hair mingled with the drizzle that started, and then those drops of water mixed with your tears.

“lloverá y ya no seré tuya, seré la gata bajo la lluvia...”

(It will rain, and I won't be yours anymore, I'll be the cat in the rain...)

[gimmebackmyskeeball]

Cinnamon Girl

author’s note: this was longer than I thought it was honestly, it’s been sitting in my drafts for a fat minute. It’s a piece of shit and it’s completely not proofread I was just listening to Cinnamon Girl and started thinking about Jj all of a sudden. Also I don’t know if you can tell but I was kinda high when I wrote this I lowkey fixing my mistakes but let me know if I missed any cause my migraine’s fuckin me up the ass and my head’s throbbing and I’m just noticing I vented a little bit so if that’s gonna trigger you in the slightest way possible I suggest you don’t read this.

warnings: mentions of abuse, a teeny tiny mention of ed, trauma dump (by me), objectification(?), cussing, bad writing probably, stoned author, sorry bout that.

inspo song: Cinnamon Girl by Lana Del Rey

You do accept. You’re way past the denial phase anymore. You are irrefutably in love with your best friend. And no, we’re not talking about a silly attraction or crush, you were in love with him. In love with the way he walks, in love with the way he talks, in love with how he payed attention to every single thing you do and immediately fixed whatever it is that annoys you. You were completely in love in love with him and the worst part is that you were okay with it. You stopped thinking that it was possible in any way shape or form a long time ago. But no matter what you do you couldn’t stopped loving him, loving anything that came by him. You were ready to do anything to receive some kind of validation from him. Anything.

Cinnamon in my teeth,

From your kiss, you’re touchin’ me

It’s not like you didn’t tried. Almost see through tops, those denim shorts that ends right by your ass, hugging it tightly. Okay, maybe it is actually embarrassing to show off yourself just so some guy would give you attention but he wasn’t some guy. He was never just some guy. The moment you look at him your whole self respect leaves your body and honestly, who could blame you? You didn’t even believed but it had actually worked, he had threw some “Damn girl, never knew you could dress like that.” or “Looking good.” here and there and it made you feel better than ever. You do pity yourself for it, for the fact that you decided to do something that you would find other woman who do it lame just for him and also because you liked it. You did. And you did it more. You kept doing it until he stopped. What happened? Were you ugly now? Did something change? Did someone else got his attention now? No, no one but you can have his attention, they just can’t. You’ll make sure of it.

All the pills that you take,

Violet, blue, green, red to keep me at arms length don’t work

I guess you weren’t his type anyway, he was into bimbos, girls that are head empty, no thoughts. No thoughts but sex that is. And you were ready to be that for him if he let you. You were ready to be something you despised with a burning passion only for him. He was no good for you that’s for sure, he made you cry and he made you feel insecure, he made you feel desperate and overwhelmed but there’s one thing he never made you feel before, unsafe. He never made you feel unsafe. He feels like home, I know that’s cheesy but it’s true. It feels right with him even though it can’t be more wrong. He just feels so right, you want him, no, you need him. You know he needs you too, if you really think about it he would be alone if it wasn’t for you. Who does he goes to when he has a fight with his dad? Who patches him up? Who takes care of him when he comes to the château in the middle of the night, drunk or high or both? And who plays babysitter next morning when his hangover is eating him alive? You.

You try to push me out,

But I just find my way back in

Violet, blue, green, red to keep me out

It has always been you for him. The one who was there for him. His safety school. His hiding spot. Sometimes you do feel like there’s something special and he feels it too but maybe it’s your delusions or that part of you that is aching for Jj so hard that it’s painful now. It hurts you when he gives you hope too. Which unfortunately he likes to do. Don’t know why. You’d be sitting in the backyard, smoking weed, talking about your pasts and plans for your futures and he says something like “You know what I want? I wanna see the world, surf, never see another kook for the rest of my life, do whatever the fuck I want, never let anybody tell me what to do anymore.” You understood him, you’ve been a pogue all along but you didn’t wanted freedom or money. You wanted him. He was your escape from reality. As two teenagers coming from problematic families you two got each other. You gave him a smile, “Yeah…yeah I mean, I get it. This place is pretty but it’s just…stressing” “It is. I’m done with it. Done with all of it. I just wanna leave, you comin’?” Is he serious? Are you coming? He wants you there and thinks you have a choice of not coming? You would go to the deeps ends of hell with him if he wanted you there. “Sure. If you don’t mind.” “‘Course I don’t. Just wanna spend the rest of this miserable life how I want. Doin’ whatever I want. You and me, against the world. That’s how I wanna spend it.”

I win.

You wanted to tell him. Tell him that you wanted to spend it exactly the same. That you needed no one and nothing but him. But you were a coward, that’s what you were. “I don’t think future Mrs. Wife wouldn’t like that very much.” He smiled, god his smile, those dimples… Lost. You feel lost. Without him, you’ll feel lost. “Bold of you to assume that my future wife won’t want you there instead of you being the wife herself.” Joke. All jokes. Not funny Jj. How dare does he takes my only purpose in life and shove it to my face like it’s some super funny joke? Screw him. I love him. So goddamn much. “Yeah. Real bold.” He noticed your frown, just like how he notices everything. “I’m serious. Pogue for life, yeah? If my foreign wife doesn’t want an og ‘round us, she can piss off.” Lies. You don’t believe him. He’s gonna dump his wife for you? Bullshit. “You’re ridiculous, it’s the woman you’re gonna marry we’re talking about. You’re gonna leave your wife for me?” Oh god how you wish he did. He doesn’t even have a wife and now you’re jealous of an imaginary person. Great. “Like I said I can’t leave my wife for my wife, peach.” Same joke. Still not funny. “You’re not funny Jay.” “Oh I agree, I’m not jokin’ whatsoever. I seriously doubt anyone’s gonna ever take me as a husband and well…sorry to tell you this but you’re stuck with me.” I wanna be stuck with you, talk straight, tell you that I can’t be stuck with you because I want you by my side anyway. But I can’t.

There’s things I wanna say to you

But I’ll just let you live

Like if you hold me without hurting me

You’ll be the first who ever did

Don’t know what he’ll do, what he’ll say. I mean it’s not like you know what’s he’s gonna do ever but this is different. If you tell him the truth would he leave you? See now, that’s the day where you’d die. Jj is not just Jj. He’s you. He’s everything that makes you, you. And maybe it’s stupid and crazy to give someone this much meaning but it doesn’t seem that crazy when it comes to him. Because with your entire existence, you love him. With every bone in your body, you adore him. Maybe it’s trauma bonding…because you get it. Dad sucked, just like his. And you know exactly how he feels every time another punch lands on his face by his own father. The man who gave him life. It’s understandable that he doesn’t believe in love. You didn’t either. Until you met him. Until you realized what a perfect fucking boy he is. He is going to be yours, he doesn’t have a choice. It’s an exaggeration or maybe not, who gives a shit? He’s the only thing in this fucked up world that’s makes you feel fulfilled. He’s like a drug. Makes you feel good. Makes him feel good. But in the end of the day you both know you’re bad for each other. So? Who gives a fuck? You’re both fucked up, perfect pairing, perfect partners. At least you have each other’s backs. His dad gets abusive? You’re there to comfort him. Your dad gets abusive? He’s there to comfort you. He’s drunk and having a panic attack? You ran to him, you’re his way out. You’re gonna binge or do the exact opposite? He’s your only way out. His mom isn’t in the picture. And yours is just barely. See? Soulmates.

There’s things I wanna talk about

But better not to give

But if you hold me without hurting me

You’ll be the first who ever did

You hated him. Hated how much you love him and how unconditionally you loved him. How much you changed for him. How you did everything he said and wanted. How you served him. How much you liked doing it. And how you’re gonna keep doing it no matter what happens.

Hold me, love me, touch me, honey

Be the first who ever did

I mean, he’s gonna leave. Everyone leaves. Until then you want him by your side. He can do what he wants, you only have one request from him and that is his love. He’s worth it. Because if he holds you without hurting you, he’ll really be the first who ever did.

take a shot every time I say love challenge les go

[esggs]

The Homo Economicus in Love - Noritoshi Kamo

[wc: 4k+  |  noritoshi kamo x reader  |  college au  |  fluff-angst-smut  |  tw: alcohol, weed, smoking, economics, kissing Nobara, swear words, Boys over Flowers, cunnilingus, handjob, blowjob, unprotected piv  |  three-part series, part 2 and 3 to be released next week]

Synopsis: You’re the sweet shy nerd who swears Marxist revenge on the heir of the Kamo Conglomerate, Noritoshi Kamo: You’re going to give him the worst heartbreak of his life. 

lh7-rt.googleusercontent.com

Part 1: Operation Kamo

Where do you hide away your most rotten petals, sweet lotus? Do you arrange them on your outermost ring, so that they may fall out and away before disdaining eyes? Or do you lock them closest to your heart? Where do you hide your rot, my love?

1 year and 2 week ago 

Over the cheap cigarettes and vodka-cranberry juice spilled out of plastic cups, Nobara’s voice carries weakly. “Prof Geto called yn a ‘sweet girl’ today”, she drawled. Nobara is the sort who refuses to admit they’re far drunker than they claim to be. “Everyone calls you ‘sweet girl’, imagine if they saw you like this.”

Nobara’s barely sitting upright, both from the pegs she’s consumed and your hips straddling her lap. Hey Nobara, wanna make-out, but like friends? Nobara Kugisaki, the woman that she is, doesn't back down, so here you two are, lips wet with each other’s liquor. Your other friends, all sitting on the floor in a circle like you two, had just shrugged at your antics. Fushiguro keeps an eye out on the two of you. Maki’s in a chugging contest with Itadori (she’s clearly winning even though Itadori refuses to back down), Inumaki and Panda are switching between watching them and you. Yuuta’s out for more cigarettes. 

“She is a ‘sweet girl’, though. People have layers, Nobara.” Itadori, having lost another round to a still very sober Maki, defends you. Your friends, of all people, know that. You have a ritual that once every three months all of you come together to have a casual get-together where you get blackout drunk. And you, the shy, nerdy, underconfident, mild-mannered goody-two-shoes sweet girl, drink the hardest of them all. It could get you kicked off campus and even arrested, but isn’t that the fun of it? 

“Yeah, Nobara”, Panda joins the conversation. “yn can top Microeconomic Theory at 2 pm and top you at 2 am. In fact, she can do both at the same time, I bet.”

“I didn’t top Micro, man.” You choke down a moan as Nobara nips your neck, but you have to set the record straight, as much as it hurts you to admit it. “That assface did.”

“Kamo?” Maki asks.

“Yeah, that fucker.”

“Aw, I didn’t know you two still had that little rivalry going.” Maki teases. “What is this, a little fanfic where you turn academic rivals-to-lovers?”

You turn away from Nobara to pout at Maki. “It’s not like that, I genuinely dislike that guy because of the principle of it. There’s layers to my hatred.” You’re slurring a bit, both words and thoughts getting mixed up in your head. “If he wasn’t such a looker I'd have punched his face by now. Like, even the thought of him–” You’re starting to get mad at someone who isn’t even here (is it the cross-fading? It was only a few cigarettes, menthol ones too) “– he’s so smug, so fucking pretentious! Always looking down on me! He’s a part of the bourgeoisie, he’s conservative, he talks over me in class, he literally counters every single point I make in class, what a teacher-ass-kisser, and his hair is so ugly! But he’s so not ugly, he’s almost pretty! I wish I could hurt him, I wish–  I wish I could show him the greatest love and then break his heart in the most painful way possible!”

“Isn’t that a bit much?” Itadori laughs. But he understands where you’re coming from. For someone like you, who was born poor and struggled so much to get a good education and finally get into your fancy old-money college, Noritoshi Kamo, the chaebol heir, represented everything unequal with the world. When you’ve been up all-night working at the convenience store just to pay for tuition while he just dashes up swanky-suited to classes in his Rolce Royce with organic coffee, and then has the fucking audacity to top Microeconomics Theory … you want to kill him. 

“He deserves it, to be honest. He’s got such an attitude problem.” Maki says. “But he’s a hard shell to crack. If you can actually do what you’ve said, yn, I’ll pay for a barbeque dinner.”

“It’s a bet then.” You’re gonna do it. Drunk and sober, you’re actually gonna do it.

Inumaki bets against you. Panda bets for you. Itadori doesn’t like the whole thing (he bets against you). Fushiguro doesn’t care (he bets for you). The topic’s passed by the time Yuuta returns.

1 year ago

Noritoshi Kamo isn’t having a good day. He lost his notes for Micro Theory, and then his favourite coffee (almond-milk cappuccino with organic Yemeni beans, dusted with dark chocolate!) was made too bitter, and then this traffic jam made him late to class, and now his favourite classmate is absent again. What a shame. You two have such fun discussions in class.

Little does he know that you’re sitting in the corner of the last bench in a dark hoodie looking like you’re a secret agent on a mission. You are. This is all going according to your plan. 

A week ago you watched Kamo lend his notes to Todo. Two days later, you asked Todo for “your” notes back (you never lent him any but it’s not like he remembers who he takes his notes from). You then missed two days of classes (when they covered Consumer Behaviour) to set the final act: now. 

The bell rings. People are getting up to leave. Kamo is packing his things up. Here goes Operation Kamo: Make-him-fall-in-love-with-you-and-break-his-heart.

“Professor!” You walk to the front of the hall. 

“Ah, yes, yn!” Prof Utahime, as always, is happy to see you. “Did you have any doubts about the class?”

“Yes, Prof, I’m struggling with Consumer Behaviour. But I have so many questions, I don’t think even Office Hours could help me.” 

Utahime is genuinely perplexed. Consumer Behaviour is one of the most basic concepts, how could a top student like you be confused about that? “Oh, then would you want some extra tutoring? I could connect you with some peer tutors.”

Score. You casually hold your hands behind your back, and in your hands you visibly carry Kamo’s apparently lost notes (the bait). 

“That would be perfect, prof.”

“But I don’t mind taking extra Office Hours for you–”

“– No!” You clear your throat. “I mean, I wouldn’t want to inconvenience you.”

“In that case, for a peer tutor I’d recommend– Oh! Kamo!” Your fish, who had taken the bait and was coming to retrieve his notes from you, looks alarmed. “So lucky you’re right here! yn was just looking for a peer tutor. You help her in Consumer Behaviour, alright?”

“Me, Professor?”  “Thanks, Prof!” 

But Utahime’s already waved you two off. Kamo is left looking at you (he didn’t even know you were in class) and you need help with Consumer Behaviour of all topics?

“Oh, Mr. Kamo” You fake some shyness. From what you’ve observed of him, you guess that he likes his girls demure and soft, so that’s who you shall be from now. “When should I attend your tutoring sessions?” 

“Please don’t call me that.” He says, “And it’s from 8.30 to 10 pm every Thursday.”

“Thank you so much!”

See, people only know u as the shy little bookish nerd. They don’t realise that you’re doing everyone a favour by putting your brains into academics instead of mischief like this, because you’re damned if you’re not winning this bet. 

11 months ago

Every Thursday night from the past month, you’ve been diligently studying with Kamo. Even though it started as a peer tutor session, it was too painful for both of you to keep pretending like you do not understand Pareto Efficiency. “It just means that the resource you’re distributing amongst people has been completely distributed, with nothing left over. So you can’t give more to one person without giving less to another.” Kamo would say with a straight face. “You don’t even know that?” 

Right now, you’re working on your assignments together in a classroom i.e. you two do your own assignments side-by-side without a word or question. You refuse to discuss your answers with Kamo citing academic plagiarism. Kamo will answer any doubt you face but not without condescension. While he’s not falling in love with you, your homework sure is getting done faster. And you two have now adapted to a mutually silent tolerance instead of barely-hidden hostility. 

“I’m tired.” You yawn at the clock: it’s 3.16am . “Let’s finish this tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow we’ll have to get started on the Macroeconomics paper, we need to finish this today, yn.” Kamo’s stern. “Don’t tell me you’re falling behind again.”

“Hardly, asshole. But unlike you, I can’t afford to constantly drink fancy British coffee to keep awake, so please, forgive my poverty.”  You’re too fucking tired too keep up this soft baby girl shit. Besides, I can seduce Kamo with just my looks, I don’t need to put in that much effort. He’s a man, after all.

That’s a new side of her. Kamo’s a bit taken aback. Not bad.

“I didn’t mean any offence.” He says carefully. 

“As if you could offend me.” You’re not mad, just snappy and really need a break. “I’m gonna take a walk.”

“By yourself?”

“Shocked I don’t have a chauffeur?”

“Stop that.” He says. “You know I can’t let you walk around this late all by yourself.”

He’s really pissing you off now. “So you’re my father now? Don’t think you can order me around like your servants, okay?”

“I wasn’t doing that!” He gets up from his seat. “Fine, you do as you like, but I’ll accompany you.”

In Kamo’s mind, he’s acting like any gentleman should, especially to a delicate girl like you. In yours, he’s being far too overprotective over a stranger. But you swallow down your irritation when you realise the situation: you two, walking under the moonlight. 

The mission is back on and you’re locking in. 

—

“It’s not British, it’s Yememi.” The path you walk on is cold and quiet. Surprisingly, college students do sleep sometimes. You note that Kamo, hands in the pockets of his stiff slacks, has quite a deep voice. “My coffee. The British do tea.” A bit rough, a little haughty. His voice reminds you of oak trees in harsh winter.

The night air has significantly cooled your temper. “I just said whatever came to my mind. I’m sorry if I was too brash back there.”

Kamo hums. A pause. “It’s better when you are straightforward like that. I spent a semester trying to figure out if you like me or not.” Huh? Isn’t it obvious I dislike him? “I enjoy listening to your points in class.”

“Please,” you retort. “You counter all my points, and only my points.”

“Yes, because it’s a discussion?” Kamo seems genuinely confused. “After all, you make the best points in class.”

The flash of understanding strikes both your heads at the same time. 

Kamo – Ah. She’s insecure of her status in the college and saw it as me talking down her opinions.

You – Ah. No one’s ever told this rich prick to shut the fuck up.

And that, folks, was the first olive branch they spread to each other. A common understanding of each other’s rotten sides, even though this was just, at best, overripe. The first shared acknowledgement of each other’s flawed humanity.

You two finish your assignments on time. Kamo has started to nod at you everytime you cross paths on campus. Sometimes he even stops for a little chat. 

10 months and 18 days ago

“You’re ethically challenged.” Fushiguro says. You both share the same Statistics class, despite the fact that he’s majoring in Computer Science. 

“Shouldn’t we eat the rich? I’m doing a version of that.”

“If you want to manipulate Kamo into sleeping with you just say that.” He disregards your outraged expression. “What is this weird Boys Over Flowers thing you have going on?”

That the resident rich-boy on campus, Noritoshi Kamo, has started to hang out everywhere with poor little nerdy you is the gossip of the college. Only your friends knew your real intentions behind this, that is, all except Yuuta, who would innocently joke about you two falling in love. The kind of jokes that make the whole friend group fall silent.

As you take your seats in the classroom, Fushiguro leans towards you. Kamo’s also in the class, sitting far in front of you two. “What will you do when you start liking him back?”

“Do you think that I’m 12 years old?” You reply back. “It’s not like either of us thinks we’re in a Disney fairytale. It’ll be a weird situationship at best.” 

“You’re just saying that because you feel guilty about everything. Why even bother going to these lengths to play nonsense games?”

Damn. That was… upsettingly correct. What can you even reply to that?

Fushiguro just sighs. “Just keep out of trouble. I don’t want to clean your puke from sad-bingeing too much ice-cream again.”

He’s talking about the time when you had a thing with Yuuta. It ended pretty badly, and even though you still remain friends, Fushiguro remembers that heart wrenching pain that you went through post the break-up. He was there for you, even though he brushes it off as not a big deal, and you are forever grateful for that. Fushiguro has always been there for you.

—--

“Yn, Fushiguro.” Kamo shook his hand. “Let’s go with Mai for the fourth team member. I can introduce you to her over lunch.”

“The group presentation is after two whole months, though.” You protest.

“We’ll start early then.” No one made him the captain of this ship, but apparently Kamo just assumes that role.

Was Mai Zenin Megumi Fushiguro’s cousin? Yes. Technically. Had Fushiguro’s deadbeat dad done his utmost to keep him from his side of the family and hence Mai lived in a totally different world to Fushiguro? Also yes. 

Because even with his full-ride scholarship and bursary grant, Fushiguro would still never be able to relate to the talk that’s been going on at Kamo’s friends lunch table. “Vacationing at the Pyramids?” “Travelling the world with his mentor Tsukumo?” “Interning at his dad’s multispeciality hospital?” He’s never even heard of Loro Pianna. Neither have you. Even when Kamo's friends aren’t actually trying to be mean, you still feel like outcasts. 

You suppose this is the world of the rich. Where you don’t belong. Where they let the majority of the world population starve to death because they fucked up the food supply chains to get more profits. Where they take the private jet from Tokyo to Kyoto and let Bangladesh suffer from global warming. Where all their luxury alligator skin handbags are made by slave children in sweatshops. And they don’t care. They don’t care at all.

I despise them. You grit your teeth. I despise Kamo to the core.   

He deserves this. He deserves what I’m doing.

10 months ago

There has been a grave development. Over trying Yemeni coffee (“I can pay for myself.” “Not this, you really can’t.”), giving you a lift to Political Philosophy class on the other side of the campus in his Rolls Royce (“There’s a TV???” “Do you want to watch something?” “Oh my god– There’s a TV in your car??”), to tipping you heavily at the diner you waitress at, you’ve realised you’ve been partaking in Kamo’s wealth. 

Especially now that you catch yourself taking notes on Marxism with a Caran D’Ache pen (¥ 65,000) stamped with the crimson lotus of the Kamo Conglomerate. This is just plain wrong on so many levels. 

It’s okay to take his money, you reason. He’s got his asshole filled with it. But the money signifies a certain amount of closeness that you two have created. You don’t even accept expensive gifts from Yuuta, the most well-off out of all of you poors, and you two were close. Very close. As for Kamo, he now texts about his archery practice (he has a tournament coming up), he sends you photos of his notes if you miss a class without even being asked, he recommends you Coursera courses that complement your degree. Noritoshi Kamo didn’t even know your first name two months ago. 

This is going too far. The mission was to make him trust me, depend on me, not vice versa. I have to speed this up. Now.

“Hey, Kamo.” Your whispered tone is so casual, Kamo almost missed the tacit question behind your words. “Want to revise Macroeconomics in my dorm after class? Fushiguro’s staying over with Itadori, so it’ll be quieter than the library.”

But he doesn’t miss it. He’s also a college student after all, he knows what you’re asking. Or at least what he presumes that you’re asking. This could be an innocent request... No, the way your eyes flicker down to his lips for a second as a little blush heats your ears red, he knows it’s not.

He’s gonna refuse. He doesn’t even look like he’s interested. You don’t know that his heart is thumping in his temples and his palms are sweaty. 

He turns to look at you full in the face. In his steady eyes, you see that he trusts you. He trusts that whatever happens, however this ends, it’ll be okay, because he trusts you. Cold leaden terror fills your veins.

“Okay.” Kamo’s smile is soft. You’ve never seen him smile before. “I’ll be there.”

—---

If Kamo is uncomfortable with the state of your untidy dorms, he doesn’t say anything. He takes the glass of cranberry juice you offer him in your best cup, and chats freely about this and that, sitting cross-legged on your bed (you don’t have a couch). Much more freely than he ever did. It’s as if he’s lifted an invisible barrier, letting you step into an inner part of him that he keeps shielded from everyone. Except for you, now. 

You’re scared. Whatever fringe of delusion you keep up to convince yourself that you’re still a good person is rapidly vanishing. The full weight of your guilt is settling in heavy. Your hand, wrapped around your juice, starts to shake. 

Kamo notices. Of course he does. Ever since you asked him to come to your dorms, and even before that, he’s noticed everything about you. He was very happy to be your friend (he was very happy to have a friend at all, and if it’s someone as smart, beautiful, funny, sweet and amazing as you, that’s all the better), but to hear you say that you wanted something deeper with him, how could he refuse? He’s still pretty new to you, especially in this context, he doesn’t know everything that you like or dislike. So when he notices your hand shaking, he takes the drink off of you and covers your hand with his and presses it softly against his lips. He hopes that this is something you like. You do.

“Are you so nervous?” He asks. “We can do Macroeconomics if you’d rather. I want you to be comfortable.”

This is your chance. Break it off, don’t cross this line, let things go back to how they were. This is just going to hurt the two of you. The two of you. 

You set out to hurt him in the most painful way possible. If you let this go any further, you will. Do the right thing, yn. Do the right thing. 

“I’m good. Noritoshi–,” you reply. “– I want you.”

You close your eyes. It’s enough. I don’t want to think about anything anymore. 

His calloused hand cradling your cheek, his hair falling over your neck. you feel a warm kiss on your forehead. “You don’t have to say anything. I love you. Have for a while. I don’t do this usually, you have to know.” His lips scrape the shell of your ear. “Tell me if you want me to stop.” 

You keep your eyes stubbornly closed to everything. “I don’t, Toshi–” He smiles at the pet name you’ve picked. “–love you too. Have for a while, too.” 

His chapped lips melt hungrily into yours. He doesn’t hesitate to throw himself fully onto you, pushing your back onto the bed as he climbs over you, his hand behind your head. Hot, heavy, wet– he smells of oak and cedar. With hints of dark chocolate. You can taste the desperation on his tongue. 

He moans out loud as you run a tongue down his neck, prepping to leave him littered with your bites. Does he notice when you unbutton his pressed shirt? When his heavy leather belt snaps unbuckled? Or is he only focused on you pulling your shirt off, eyes glued to your beautiful breasts and the softness of your belly? 

He pulls the cups of your bra down with a finger to lick over your cleavage, nipping at your tits, boldly grabbing the fat of your ass. He’s far too gone to use his head, and you’re making a conscious decision not to. 

“Like this?” Kamo draws a trail of kisses down to your sex. 

“Yeah.”

“Show me how you like it done. I want to please you.” You nearly choke at his words. 

Nodding, you pull his hands into your panties when you’re suddenly struck with …shyness? He just laughs and lands a kiss straight onto the wet patch through your underwear. Damn. Where did this Casanova come from?

“I do it like this.” His Adam’s apple bobs as he studies you, despite a painfully hard cock, as you dip a finger into your slick hole and rub circles on your clit with it. You softly pinch a nipple with the other hand. Your cries are sinful as you add another finger into your cunt. 

“My turn.” Kamo looks straight at you as he licks your juices off your finger (you almost faint). “Tap if it's too much.”

It is too fucking much. You don’t know where he learnt to push the clitoral hood back as he breathes cold onto it, to lubricate it with spit as he licked circles onto it, to push two curled fingers into your cunt at once, to use his whole wrist to thrust around as he felt for your g-spot, to bite your thighs that hot. But you’re not left in a state to complain as he tells you to “Cum.”

“I don’t know if I can,” you giggle. “I’ve never done it like this.”

“It’s my mission then.” 

You throw your head back and close your eyes.

You do, surprisingly, cum on his tongue. “You’re so gorgeous.” From his angle, all he can see are your boobs bouncing as you grind up onto his tongue, trying to chase the aftershocks of the orgasm. Your face is flushed, with a tear building on your lashes that Kamo wipes off. His tongue is warm when he pushes it into your mouth.  

“Are you a virgin?” He asks. “Do you want me to..?”

“I’m not, Toshi, it’s okay. Are you?”

He grins. “No, I had a girlfriend.” You laugh at that– “Me too.”

“I’m really hard, love.” He pulls your hand to touch him through his boxers. Oh my god. He really has everything in life, doesn’t he? He’s packed like he’s going to war. “Do you want to? If you want to wait, I’ll understand.”

“No, no, I don’t want to wait a second more. Toshi, I want you so bad.” He almost came in his boxers hearing you beg like that. 

Kamo knew that he was on the larger end, as far as dicks go. Girls, especially sweet ones like you, baulked at it, and he fully expected you to do that too. 

He didn’t know that you would spit into your hands and wrap them around him in what felt criminal. The way you twist your wrists. The kitten-licks to the tip. The warmth of your tongue on his balls. “Stop, yn, love.” Red-faced, bite-marked, messy-haired: he looks delicious. “I can’t– I really can’t!”

Kamo’s made a decision in his head: he manhandles you onto your back and pins you down with the weight of his whole body. Face-to-face. Finally. 

He kisses you through the initial burn of penetration, letting you bite your pain onto his lips. So full. So stretched. So fucking heavenly. A little thought floats into your head that he’s not using any protection and neither are you, but when he looks like that, brows curled in bliss as he bottoms out inside you, nothing matters anymore. Only he does. Only Noritoshi Kamo. 

You thrust against him, as if to wake him up. “Move, baby.”

He’s gentle, at first, at least. With you in his arms, he’s losing any sense he has rapidly. He ruts against you through his strained breaths and choked groans, leaving hickies on your neck, the curve of his thick cock grinding against that particular spot of yours. Oak, cedar and dark chocolate. 

Neither of you last very long. Your second orgasm tips him into his: your face writhing in throes of pleasure (that he gave you) and the way your cunt clenched hard onto him… he can't resist spilling his hot cum inside you. 

Exhausted, he just collapses onto you. His cum leaks around his cock, which is still inside you, and is dripping down the curve of your ass. It takes a moment for him to steady his voice: “I love you, yn. Other people, I can’t trust them because I’m a Kamo, and I don’t know how to make friends easily either. But it feels so easy with you, yn. You feel so true.”

bonus: Kamo helps you tidy up your room. Both Itadori and Fushiguro are shocked to see your floor without any clothes lying around. 

college majors of jjk characters are here

a/n: reposted cuz i deleted my og post by accident (╥﹏╥)

tagging: @maskedpacific

[thatonegirlonhere]

Everyone’s talking about mafia boss bakugou or handy man bakugou or piercer bakugou, what about bartender bakugou. Jesus that would be so hot so here ya go- a gift from me to you.

CW: smut, porn with TONS of plot

(I will be turning this into a series)

:read more:

after a 10 hour shift at work burdened with nothing but exhaustion and frustration with your pain in the ass boss, the second you got home you decide that you needed a drink so you ubered to the closest bar you could find knowing that you were going to get drunk. You walked up to the bar, head hanging low, not wanting anyone to even try to talk to you and sat down in one of the bar stools with a huff.

“Damn, you look like you had a rough day” You heard the bartender say as you looked up to see him smirking down at you. “Thanks” you say sarcastically. “What can I getcha” he said with a cocky grin drying a cup. “I don’t know, you choose” you say brushing your hair out of your face. “Alright then, one screw driver coming up” “thanks” you respond tiredly. You watched closely as he poured the liquor and mixed the drink. He was wearing a button up that looked like it was gonna rip open if he flexed his muscles even once. You imagined how he would look shirtless and you shook your head blushing and forcing yourself to look away. ‘This guy probably fucks every girl that walks into this bar and I’m not even going to think about being the next one’ you think to yourself “Here ya go” he said passing the drink to you cutting off your thoughts. You half ass smiled and chugged it all in one go.

Screw drivers aren’t meant to be chugged and you knew that but you did it anyways just trying to clear your head as quickly as possible.

He stared at you with a grin. “Damn, maybe I should’ve given you a couple shots instead. so what happened to you today princess?” You couldn’t help but chuckle at the nickname. “My boss is a dick, if it’s not her way it’s the wrong way whether it works or not. She has the worst god complex I’ve seen in my entire life. She enrolls kids that we don’t have space for and she truly believes she’s doing nothing wrong. I’m just glad it’s Friday so I won’t have to see her for the next two days.” “Teacher huh? You don’t look like a teacher” “yeah I’m a preschool teacher and what’s that supposed to mean” you say this time being the one smirking looking up at him as he towered over you. this guy has got to be at least 6’5 and I mean at LEAST. “No clue, I’ve just never seen a teacher with that many piercings and tattoos.” “Valid” you say as he passes you 2 tequila shots and you down those with no problem at all. You could feel myself starting to get tipsy. “Ya know princess, you’re gonna get pretty drunk pretty soon if you keep that up” there were about 10 other people sitting at the bar and one other bartender. This guy should be helping out with the other customers but seems to be focused on just you. “Yeah that’s the plan. I need to take my mind off of today” you retort quickly. “What’s stopping you from quitting?” “Bills” you say letting out a groan tossing your head back. “Gotta pay rent some how, plus I love the kids it’s just my boss that makes it tough” You say with your head still thrown back against the chair and you laugh. He passes you two more tequila shots and you swallow those ones with ease and start to slur your words. You didn’t even notice how close the bar was to empty. “FINISH UP KATSUKI, BAR CLOSES IN 20!!” A man yells from the back. “Sorry princess, gotta cut you off” the man you now know as bakugo says as he collects your empty glasses. “Katsuki huh?” “Yep, katsuki bakugo at your service.” He said tipping an imaginary hat. You let out a little giggle. “Cute” he said smirking and passing you a glass of water and a bowl of pretzels. “Try and get a little sobered up, princess” “cute huh? I bet you say that to every girl that walks in here” you say as you pop a pretzel in your mouth. “Tch’ no way, all the girls here are either annoying as hell or just not my type” You start to laugh. “So which am I? Your type? Or not annoying? Since you called me cute.” You say eating more pretzels feeling yourself go from straight up drunk to just tipsy. “Both” he says smirking. “What makes me different?” “Hmmmm let’s see, for starters, you didn’t hit on me the second you walked up” he said chuckling. “Ah, and what makes me your type?” “Hah, that’s an easy one, the piercings, the dyed hair, your sarcasm, not to mention you’re pretty funny, oh and can’t forget the fact that you’re cute as hell, and definitely submissive judging by the fact that you blushed every time I called you princess” you could feel the heat in your cheeks rising. “Well you’re not too bad looking yourself” you say resting your chin on your hand. “10 MINUTES KATSUKI” the man in the back shouted again. “SHUT UP OLD MAN, I KNOW” katsuki quickly shouts back. “Wow, you talk to your boss like that?” You say laughing and eating the last of the pretzels and drinking the rest of your water. “Eh, he’s my uncle” “oooohhhhhhh” you say rolling your eyes. As katsuki quickly wipes the counter down. “Mind if I drive you home? It’s nearly 2am” he asked nervously. “Mmm I don’t know, is it smart to get in a strangers car? I can just take an Uber” he rolled his eyes. “Okay so an Uber driver is more of a stranger than I am, we’ve been talking for the last 2 hours and you’d rather go with someone you’ve never even spoken to?” I sigh “I was just teasing, I’m not that dumb” you say laughing as you pull out your wallet to pay for the drinks. “On the house princess” you pull your card out anyways passing it to him. “I don’t take handouts” he smirked “crazy woman” he pushed your card back to you and walked over to the register swiping his own.

“No fair!” You shout as he laughs. You watch him walk to the back and clock out laughing. He walked back out and over to you smirking “let’s go princess” you stand up shaking your head in sarcastic disappointment as you followed behind him. He led the two of you to a black dodge challenger and you paused. ‘HOW THE HELL CAN HE AFFORD SOMETHING LIKE THIS AS A BARTENDER?!?!’ You scream internally as he unlocks the car and holds the passenger side door open. He starts to drive “What’s your favorite movie, if I have it then you have to come to my place and watch it with me, deal?” He said “hmmmmmm fine, as embarrassing as it is… 50 shades of grey” You watch as a smirk grows on his face. “Have it” he quickly responded and your eyes went wide “well shit” you said he said with a cocky look on his face. He makes a u-turn and you start heading in the opposite direction. After about 10 minutes you both arrive at his house and you look up in awe at the size. It’s a gorgeous house. It’s a huge house. He smiles seeing your reaction. “Let’s go” he hops out and opens your door for you before you get the chance. You step out and he leads you to his front door. He walks you over and shows you where the couch is and pulls out the box set. He pops the first one in the dvd player and sits next to you. You both watch silently but as soon as it started getting ‘heated’ you could feel the slick gathering between your thighs. “Why the hell did I tell the truth, this movies always makes me horny” you thought while blushing. You subconsciously rub your thighs together a little bit and he looks at you. He admired your flushed face and visibly needy body and decided to tease you. “You alright there y/n?” You nod your head biting your lip. “Mhm” You mumble. You try to keep your eyes on the movie so that he hopefully wouldn’t notice the state you’re in but it just makes it worse. You feel his hand placed gently on your thigh, you were wearing shorts and could feel the cold of his metal rings against your flesh and jolt at the touch. “You sure you’re alright princess?” He said smirking and you can tell he knows what going on. “You seem a little on edge, anything I can do to help?” “I- mhm I’ll be fine” you say reminding yourself of earlier when you told yourself you weren’t gonna fuck him. You curse yourself for making that decision. Katsuki gave your thigh a squeeze and you let out a slight whimper. You look over and notice a bulge in his jeans. “I- fuck.. I told myself I wouldn’t fuck you-“ “told, or promised?” He said chuckling moving his thigh closer to your heat. He has a point. You didn’t promise. “Told” you say shakily. “By the looks of it, you seem like you need me to fuck you, do you want me to make you feel better princess?” He said as he trailed his hand further up tugging slightly at your shorts. “Mhm” you wimper. “Need conformation princess” “fuck- yes katsuki just fuck me” you say embarrassed. “Gonna need a safe word too, I go pretty rough” you groan in annoyance. “Angel shot” you say breathing heavy as he starts to suck on your neck. “Ironic, isn’t it?” he said chuckling. “Shut up katsuki” You say tilting your head back. He quickly stands up and scoops you up like you’re lighter than a feather and Caries you to his bed. He places you down and leans over you kissing your roughly and you can feel him unbuttoning your pants. With one swift motion he pulls both your shorts and your underwear off of you. “Hm, you need me more than I thought princes.” He said dragging two fingers along your folds scooping up some of your slick and tasting it. “Tastes good too” he said as he got on his knees and pushed your legs apart. You havnt had sex in months and know this is going to be a wild ride. “How about i taste a little more” he said lowering his head down and gliding his tongue slowly against your folds flicking it right as the tip of his tongue reached your clit. You jolt at the sudden sensation. ”my princess is so sensitive, how long did you think you would be able to hold on watching this movie”

You squeeze your eyes shut as he starting sucking on your clit waiting for your answer “Ngk- I forgot- fuck~ what is does to me” you whimper as he continues to devour your pussy. “Gonna make you cum with just my mouth before I do anything else princess” he slipped his tongue inside of Of you and you through your head back. He took his tongue out and roughly sucked and licked your clit. You could already feel the knot in your stomach building. As he continued abusing your pussy with his tongue. “You’re- Mm you’re good” You say with unsteady breaths. He blew on your clit sending a shiver through your body and pushing your right over the edge. It took one last flick of the tongue and you were coming undone whining and whimpering as he licked up every bit of your release like a dog who hasn’t had water in days. He pulls away and smirks at your flushed still mostly clothed body. He scoops you up and carry’s you to his room and places you in the bed. He pulls your shirt off and stared at your breasts smiling before unclasping your strapless bra watching it fall off. He groans at the sight of your tits before cupping one and massaging one while leaning down and sucking on your other. “Fuck” you whisper gripping the sheets. He let go and started sucking on your neck leaving hickeys. “How am I supposed to cover these up for work katsuki?” You say chuckling a bit. “It’s winter, wear a turtle neck” he says before continuing and you laugh. “Okay” you say smiling and tilting your head back with a slight moan as he finds your sweet spot. His hand dips down and starts playing with your already sensitive clit before dipping two fingers in and you gasp. “Gotta stretch you out princess or it won’t fit” he says giving you a devious grin. You didn’t really think about that part, you figured it would be big but you didn’t think about how big it might actually be. You arch your back slightly as his fingers curl inside you every time he moves his fingers in and out hitting your g-spot perfectly. He entered a third finger and you gasped and winced at the stretch. You’ve done three fingers on yourself before but his fingers were much bigger than yours. He gave you a second to adjust to the size before moving them in and out once more. The sensation of the size and the curling made you cry out “F-FUCK KATS-“ you shouted as you came again. “Awe, look at that, you’ve came twice already and it hasn’t even been that long since we started, and I havnt even used my dick yet” he pulled his fingers out and you whined at the sudden loss of sensation. You propped yourself up a bit and lifted his shirt off of him and gazed at his prominent abs and muscles. Your eyes slowly traveled down to his v-line and you saw how clearly defined it was. “Eyes are up here princess” you looked up at the devious grin on his face. “It’s been a while since I’ve fucked someone, this is going to be fun” you flashed back to him telling you that he never sleeps with anyone from work. You looked up at him with a smile on your face. “Fuck me katsuki” Just those three words had him practically pouncing on you. Within seconds his pants and boxers were across the room and starting pushing himself into you before you could even see how big it was. The stretch was painful. He was big. “Ah-fuck lemme AH- adjust!” You tried to get out as he just kept pushing into you. He finally bottomed out and you were writing in pain. As you adjusted you looked down to see a slight bulge in your stomach. You still hadn’t even seen how big his dick was it was already inside you before you could register. He looked at you and waited for the full go ahead and you nodded. The second he got your conformation he started pounding into you. You watched the bulge in your stomach rise and fall as he pushed himself in and out. You were in nothing hit pure pleasure. Your knees practically touching your ears as he put you into a mating press. You felt every bit of him. You felt the veins of his cock. You felt the heat of his member pulsing inside you. You felt his balls smacking against you.

The pace he was going was brutal. There were no breaks. “Fuck princess, so tight” You were laying there eyes rolled back with drool dripping down your chin in an insanely lewd position. “FU- AH- KATS- AHH” you were screaming out in pleasure not capable of even finishing each word that you tried to get out then all do a sudden you shouted “DADDY” and he froze. You whimpered at the lack of motion. He smirked. “Say jt again” trying to catch your breath you look up at him. “Please Fuck me more daddy” you say with a whimper and tears running down your cheeks. He pulls all the way at then in one quick motion slammed all the way back in and was going faster than before. He pressed a hand down on your lower stomach right where the bulge was causing you to feel it even more and you came on the spot. “You didn’t even ask daddy if you could cum, that’s too bad I guess we are gonna try that again” he went back to slamming into you. You were shaking and crying in overstimulation feeling your orgasm building for the 4th time. “G-GONNA CUM” bakugo grunted “Not yet princess” You tried to hold back as he kept going until he started rubbing your clit whilst still slamming into you “NEED TO CUM PLEASE DADDY” “not yet princess this is punishment” he rubbed your clit faster with his other hand pressing down in the bulge in your stomach. “PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LET ME CUM PLEASE” you begged and pleaded as he mercilessly fucked you. “So needy, all for me” You couldn’t even speak, you could tell, you couldn’t even get any moans out. Your jaw was hanging open as you were fighting back your orgasm. “So fucked out you can’t even beg anymore. You can cum princess, let it out” you finally let go of the knot that had been on the brink of exploding and gushed all over him. You squirted on bakugos cock and he came inside of you. He rested his head on your shoulder and laughed. “Such a mess you made” you looked up at him unable to get any actual words out and smiled at him softly. He blushed as he pulled out and lifted you up to carry you to the bathroom. He ran a bath with salts in it and gently placed you inside. “You did so good princess” you smiled. “Thank you katsuki” You managed to get out a small sentence trying not to fall asleep in the tub as he cleaned you up. He dried you off and gave you a pair of his draw string sweatpants that you had to tie fairly tight and one of his tshirts that went down to your mid thighs. He laid you down on the fresh sheets he put on the bed while you changed and tucked you in. He laid down next You in a similar pair of sweatpants but no shirt. You snuggled up next to him and passed out already knowing or rather hoping that this wasn’t going to be a one night stand.

Prt 2

[lulu-recs]

never have I ever written a love letter by wannnabesuper

during a drinking game, remus lets slip that he's written a love letter. sirius (and an increasingly large group of friends) won't rest until they get to the bottom of this!

confessional spaces by thatfilmgraduate

sirius black is trapped in an enclosed space with his best friend and fellow marauder, remus lupin, and some interesting truths come to light.

or: sirius black asks a lot of questions and remus lupin is a moody fucker.

the light that blinds my eyes by aryastark_valarmorghulis

sirius is in love. remus is too, he just doesn't know it yet.

in which sirius is demi and pines a lot, remus is oblivious, and they should move together as soon as possible.

possibly a date by anonymous

basically sirius asks remus to dinner, but remus doesn't realize it's a date.

it's me or the dog by ruarcher (coriesocks)

sirius didn’t realise how much he relied upon his best friend (and took him for granted) until he was replaced. with a dog.

come in from the cold by goodboylupin (somebetterwords)

the first Hogsmeade weekend of sixth year. alternatively: in which sirius frets and works to keep remus warm, james argues it’s not that cold, remus wishes the cold brought something more, and peter just wishes everyone would get their heads out of their asses.

solntse by lumosinlove

sirius, a young russian billionaire hires remus, who is working part time as a call boy to make ends meet. things happen, feelings occur.

that’s the art of getting by by sarewolf ♡

“what do you want me to do?” remus says, tiredly. all he wants is to curl up on his bed. smoke a pack of cigarettes. get drunk. he can’t stop looking at harry. “remus...” dumbledore is gentle. remus hates when he has that tone. hates that he knows it will hurt. “there is no one else left.” a bitter laugh escapes him. “so you’ll curse the poor thing with a werewolf for a guardian?”

lonely dancers by anonymous

remus didn't want to go out in the first place, and now lily's gone and his crush is kissing someone else. Nothing can save this from being the worst nightout ever. except maybe another person, who's also by himself... coincidentally

wading in waist-high water by colgatebluemintygel ♡

remus is a phd student and hobbyist baker who finds himself adrift following his father’s death. on a whim, he enters the great british bake off and is swept up in a flurry of curdled custard, shrunken souffle, and under-proved dough. remus expects to be challenged and to embarrass himself on public television. what he doesn’t account for are the friendships he develops with the other contestants and the deep connection he forms with his teenage crush, sirius black: charming ex-boy band member and bake off presenter.

or

sirius groans, dropping his head back into his hands. “it’s the dough,” he mumbles into the skin of his palms. “it’s the kneading. it’s his hands. they’re obscene.” lily laughs. “they are a bit, aren’t they?”

customers only by orphan_account ♡

"dragging her eyes back to sirius, the hostess pointed a perfectly manicured nail to the sign on the podium that read: restroom for customers only." a charming stranger saves sirius black from a sticky situation when little harry's on the verge of wetting himself.

just like the movies by venusjewels

standing off to the side of the red carpet, sirius wasn’t nervous at all. he had a flask of vodka and blind confidence, what more did he need?

sirius is a reluctant red carpet interviewer for the 2023 awards season.

remus is a charming movie star that just so happens to attend a lot of awards shows.

the best by far is you by orphan_account

padfoot and moony meet over mutual follows on tumblr. remus, the blind student, hires sirius, the fallen aristocrat, to be a reader for his classes. they fall in love in separate ways, and fall apart. then fall together. their love is almost as ridiculous as they are.

my jokes are my armour, my kindness is my sword by littleoldrachel ♡

“my mum died last year,” sirius says at last, perhaps more bluntly than he intended – perhaps not given the defiant set of his chin. “and we don’t have a gravestone yet, till the ground settles or whatever, so I want something I can put there to represent her and how toxic she was.” remus blinks. whatever he had expected sirius to say, it hadn’t been that. he had inferred that he and regulus had a complicated relationship with their blood family, but this was a wholly unexpected turn. unfortunately, instead of the empathic response he knows is in there somewhere, what comes out is: “yes, that sounds like a perfectly healthy response to grief.”

you and me, moony by amethystheart2421

prompt 85: ambiguous loyalties during the first war. they’re both using each other to get a piece of sirius they can’t have. au in which remus was in ravenclaw and only became friends with sirius in later years at hogwarts. remus is staying at sirius's flat resting after a full moon when his old boyfriend shows up... his old boyfriend, who happens to be sirius's little brother, and a death eater.

hot library hunk by thefeistyrogue

sirius and james fight over who gets to serve the hot library hunk that comes into their cafe.

to say goodbye is not forever by greywolfandmoon

when remus lupin falls in love, he lets go. when he lets go, he writes. he stores all his letters in a shoebox underneath his bed. one day, to his horror, all his letters are magically sent out ...and James has an idea. inspired by to all the boys I've loved before by jenny han. no prior knowledge needed.

by any other name by under_the_willow ♡

it was chance that brought sirius to moony's new and used books on one cold winter's morning - chance, and james potter. he couldn't tell if it was destiny that put remus lupin behind the front desk.

destiny or not, sirius finds himself visiting the quaint bookstore more and more, until he can't imagine going a day without dropping by to talk to remus, and share a cup of tea.

he finds himself captivated by the amber-eyed man - who seems to have even more secrets than sirius himself. secrets that show themselves in mysterious scars and an unnamed illness, and mingle with the one sirius keeps tucked away in his pocket, in the shape of a wooden wand.

but secrets don't like being shoved to the side, and it's only a matter of time before the truth makes itself known.

scent of summer snow by tracingpatterns

remus had spent seven years watching james potter and sirius black. it was impossible not to the get drawn in by their magnetism, impossible not to watch them when they were together, impossible not to be affected by the way the whole world seemed to centre around them. it wasn't that he was jealous, exactly, but when he lay awake in bed listening to the two of them whisper, unaware that he was still awake, he couldn't help but wonder what it would feel like to be a part of that.

love by the seaside by viwrites

remus is an artist who, after a particularly messy breakup, finds himself drawn to the cornish coast. his fresh start is disrupted, however, when he meets someone who reminds him an awful lot of his ex-boyfriend.

under the glow of neon lights by viwrites

james swallows the last of his drink and takes an ice cube in his mouth, rolling it on his tongue and then cracking it between his molars. regulus wants to chase it down his throat – remus leans in close and does just that.

he can’t quite make it out from here, but he knows what it feels like. remus’ fingers digging half-moon marks into the soft flesh of james’ cheeks, holding him there and groaning into his mouth, the tangle of tongues – one ice cold and one blazing fucking hot.

regulus bites down hard on his lip and mumbles something that sounds like “sorry, I have to go.”

as it was by peachyybabe ♡

"you know it's not the same as it was" a story about falling in love with a stranger in a bookstore and learning how to live again.

best gift ever by spookeart ♡

“the sensation of his lover’s hands creeping under his clothes while he’s not even there and regulus is in a room full of people is exhilarating. regulus’ lips part in a silent cry, uncaring when drool leaks out of his mouth and drips on his lap. he can’t even make sense of the pleasure coursing through him that’s not his —and yet is his.”

or, james is devilish, so when he offers matching rings for regulus and him to wear, telling him they’re enchanted to connect their bodies so they can feel what the other feel, regulus expects nothing less from him than to use it at the least appropriate moment. and james doesn’t disappoint.

the thing by realityshowjunky

sirius continued: “I thought this little guy could keep you company while I’m at work.” remus laughed as the puppy planted lick upon lick across his face. “I love you,” he said.

sirius’ felt his own breath hitch. “I lo—”

“I love you,” remus repeated to the puppy, in a high-pitched voice sirius had never heard come out of his mouth. “I love you, I love you, I love you!”

-

in which Sirius buys Remus a puppy and immediately regrets it.

how remus got his groove back by realityshowjunky ♡

after two years of noncommittal sex : remus tells sirius that he loves him. sirius firmly rejects him. remus tries to move on. sirius is not happy.

or

remus lupin becomes king of the cockroaches, fabian prewett writes a book, gilderoy lockhart is a catfish, and sirius black realizes he's a fucking idiot.

our destiny in the stars by orphan_account ♡

having no luck in the dating field, and insecure about his body, remus checks out a dating website which offers the users the opportunity to get to know a person before seeing what they look like. it's during this time he meets sirius, an enthusiastic teacher--and they immediately click. when they agree to meet, remus sees a photo of sirius and immediately panics. he's too good looking to ever be interested in someone like remus. what the tawny-haired man doesn't know, is sirius has already checked him out online and has fallen head over heels for the adorable editor.

fiery-coloured world by orphan_account

and though remus had a thick jumper and coat, they were still soaked and frozen as they ran across the pavement, laughing with their cold fingers clinging to each other like it was noah’s bloody flood and they were about to be swept away.

then someone—sirius was never sure who, though he often liked to take credit for it—closed the distance and lips met lips. and that was all it took, really. besotted. smitten. twitterpated—the word remus liked most of all.

sirius knew it would be minutes, moments, seconds before his heart told him he was in love and there was no going back from the emotional tidal wave that was remus bloody lupin.

in daylight by essie_cat

after twelve years in azkaban and two years on the run, sirius finally has the chance to settle down. remus does whatever he can to encourage that.

(or, instead of being bitter and depressed at grimmauld place, sirius gets chubby and domestic and grudgingly happy.)

hot child in the city by shes_reckless

sex worker/motel manager au. remus lupin is a motel manager who works the graveyard shift at a motel notoriously frequented by sex workers. sirius black is a regular.

the boy in the bordello by yumenouveau

regency era - london- sirius has spent the last five years starting a new life for himself as a brothel worker until late one night a stranger enters his room wanting only to talk.

the truth in the dare by marie_tomas ♡

remus has no idea why the gryffindors always dare sirius to snog him every time james, peter and sirius play truth or dare. yet for some reason, he can't bring himself to complain about it.

a dance move too complex by dark_owl_records

“he’s trying to find me a girlfriend,” remus admits.

lily immediately snorts at the prospect, but then, when turning to say something, she sees his face. what he looks like he can’t be sure, but it’s bad enough that she stops herself and says, “no, you're serious? He’s really… wow, boys are stupid.”

“lily.”

“right, no, sorry. just. why does he-?”

“it’s a long story.”

shaking things up by noisemakers

bartender!au. in an irritatingly thoughtful plot by serial matchmakers james potter and lily evans, remus lupin winds up at a gay bar in the middle of London. it just so happens that the bartender is a friend of james', and he's taken a special interest in remus.

swipe left for safety by remy_writes5 ♡

his finger hesitated over a picture of someone who absolutely couldn’t be real. he had long, dark hair that fell well past his shoulders and grey eyes that remus thought must have been either contact lenses or photoshopped. high cheekbones and sinful lips the man looked like a model. remus was not about to get catfished by a picture that was probably of someone famous that he just didn’t recognize. besides, what kind of a name was sirius anyway? it was obviously fake.

he swiped left. not today, satan.

“hard pass on that guy, huh?” someone said from above remus. “ouch.”

turn on my charm by bethanlovescoffee ♡

sirius black is a youtube phenomenon. a youtube phenomenon who develops a crush on his video editor.

discards by picascribit ♡

when assistant librarian sirius black develops a crush on a college student at the seattle public library, all he wants to know is whether he's cool about dating trans guys. but remus's life is more complicated than sirius ever could have guessed.

we will fill the cracks together by newskyillusion

remus works in a library and at his parents pub in a small, welsh town.

sirius black is doing his phd on werewolves and comes to a small, welsh town to do some research.

the bark's not always worse by sableunstable

sometimes, the bite's just as bad.

forever by orphan_account

sirius black--coda, outcast, family disappointment, and fairly famous youtuber who runs a sign language channel siriuslysigns with his best mate, james.

remus lupin-- vegan hipster who dropped out of university and lives with his best mate peter, and together run howlingmoon's diy, barmy science experiments, and ukulele tutorials channel.

when sirius becomes enamoured with moony's singing, he dedicates a sign tutorial in hopes he'll be noticed. this leads to exchanging of shout-outs and videos, and what sirius hopes, is a little something more.

[sturnstvs]

finding out

warnings: talks of sex, teen pregnancy, use of y/n, toxic friends, mentions of periods

a/n: I hope you guys will enjoy this series! what I should add and shit should be added to the comments if you deam necessary

DISCLAIMER: IF YOU DO NOT LIKE THESE KIND OF THINGS DO NOT INTERACT

third person POV

y/n and the sturniolos were childhood bestfriends. matt, nick and chris became friends with y/n shortly after kindergarten. they found each other on the play ground one by one. nick was the first one to say hi to y/n and introduce himself to the girl.

chirs was the next to introduce himself when nick said he had a new friend. then it was matt.

y/n was good friends with all of the triplets however her and Chris had a different bond.

they where attached to the hip as some might describe it. they were best friends. all of them were.

when they got to jr high however the friend group got a bit complicated.

you see chris and y/n had made some friends on the first day of 7th grade. they were a little bit older being 9th graders. however at the time cahris nor y/n knew that. (big mistake) they introduced the older kids to matt and nick. the other boys thought that they seemed a little wired and they seemed older.

chris and y/n brushed it off as a 'their just overreacting' turns out they weren't

in 8th grade the now 10th graders invited the whole group to a party. matt and nick said no. nick was hanging out with this girl alahna they he had met recently and matt, well he was just matt. so chirs and y/n decided they would go by themsleves

long story short chris and y/n ended up having sex that night. they where pressured into it mainly. but the two fully decided to carry it out. and its not like they were drunk or anything they were 13 for god sake. the next morning they both decided that what they did the night before was a mistake and should never happen again.

which brings us to here right now, in present time.

y/n had been feeling under the weather recently. it was the colder months of the year so she didn't think anything of it. of course as a 13 year old your not going to automatically think the worst. so she didn't. she didn't think it was a problem. until her friend sophie started saying something about it.

"I saw in this movie that these could be the symptoms of pregnancy" sophie told her as they where walking into the school.

"no way! I mean I know I'm not stupid but there is no way I'm pregnant" y/n shrugged off

"well...you do have the symptoms that my older sister had before she told everyone that she was expecting" shopie said

"are you sure I mean I dont even think its possible, I mean yeah me and chris had sex during winter break but there's no way" y/n told her

"well I'm pretty sure as long as you have your period and you didn't use a condom, its a huge possibility" sophie shrugged as she and y/n walked to class after they put their books in their lockers.

"whatever I'll take a test just to put your mind at rest after school if you promise to come with me" y/n told sophie as they sat down in their first period.

latter that day after school chris came up to y/n after a long day just ready to go hang out with his favorite girl.

"hey! y/n! wait, slow down your going to fast" chris yelled running after the two girls walking out of the school

"what chris?" truth be told y/n didn't want to deal with his hyperactive ass today

"where are you going? aren't we supposed to hang today? my moms waiting in the car" he spoke

"oh, actually change of plans, I have to do something, sorry we'll hang out later" y/n said apologetically as her and sophie walked to the nearest convenience store.

matt and nick who had watched the whole interaction cringed when they saw y/n walk away leaving chris with a frown on his face.

"that was rough" matt comented

"why do you think she ran away so quickly?" chris asked his brothers

"I don't know but I think it might have to do with sophie I mean she has been hanging with y/n way more often" nick said

"yeah" was all chris said as the three walked over to his moms car. he couldn't help but think this was about something much bigger.

it was about a half hour later when sophie and y/n got to the convenience store.

"come on" sophie dragged y/n over towards the aisle trying to find the pregnancy tests.

once both of the girls found the aisle they decided to get the one that was somewhat cheep but also worked.

"I don't have any money" y/n pointed out

"its okay. I have some just pay me back later. this is important" sophie said

"okay" y/n said hesitantly

sophie grabbed the one that seemed like It was the most accurate and cheep.

"should we get two just in case?" sophie asked the girl

"i don't know? should we" this was all very overwhelming for y/n and she didnt want to do any of this.

sophie looked at y/n sympateticly and sighed grabbing another test.

both the girls got in line at the checkout. there wasnt many people in front of them so they got to the coaunter pretty quickly.

the older lady that was at the counter looked at the two girls suspisousely

"hope these are for an older sister" she said scanning the items

the girls just nodded not wanting to say anything.

sophie kindly payed and got handed the tests. she then started walking out of the store while y/n was still standing there.

"I cant go back home and take those" y/n panicked.

her parents werent the most supportive so she knew this was going to freak them out.

sophie nodded while y/n walked over towards the lady behind the counter. as if she knew what she was going to ask, the lady pointed towards the back of the store

"thanks" y/n whispered

as she walked to where the lady pointed thoughts began rummaging through her brain. what if she was actually pregnant? what about Chris? there both only 13, there's no way they would be able to keep it. and their parents. what are they going to say? once she got to the bathroom she let out a shaky breath.

theres no way this was happening.

y/n did everything that she had to once she had read the instructions. then waited.

while she was waiting sophie kocked on the door.

"you good in there y/n"

y/n opened the door and sophie immediately wrapped her arms in a hug. in the time of waiting the was tears streaming down her face.

after a little longer the timer had went off. with shaky hands y/n flipped over the test to revel two very prominat pink lines. y/n immediately broke down. what was she going to do

after a good few hours of crying and trying to adjust the reality of the situation sophie had convinced her to tell chris.

she invited him to her house later that night. chris with a happy face, strolled into her house not knowing his life was about to change.

y/n told him what had happened and obviously he was shocked. they both just cried into each others arms not knowing what they where going to do.

"I guess it sucks that I got my period only a couple weeks before that huh" y/n sniffled a laugh trying to cheer both of them up.

if they had each other they were going to get through this.

note: I want to point out that i feel like this isnt very realistic but that's okay it was a fun idea and it kinda came to me at night? I hope you guys liked it anyway. no hate please.

also give me requests of what if should do make sure you click the info page for more details!

[maria-tries-to-write]

Being betrothed to Daemon Targaryen would include:

A/N: my first headcanon! I don’t think it’s my best work, but hey, at lest I’m trying! I got a little carried away with this, but nevertheless, I hope you enjoy it!

SUMMARY: A little (big, to be honest) glimpse of your relationship with Daemon at the beginnings of your marriage.

WR: f!reader, mentions of death, murder and sex work, bad words, Daemon being a dick, misogyny, arranged marriage, toxic relationship.

WORDS: +1.8k

Him hating you at first sight.

After Rhea Royce’s death, Viserys feared that Daemon would try to stop Rhaenyra and Leanor’s marriage, so he betrothed his own brother to you, the oldest daughter of a Lord from far north Westeros.

With the prince far away from King’s Landing, everything went smoothly, and to say Daemon was pissed would be an understatement.

Unfortunately, you’ve become the object of his frustration: he even thought of getting rid of you, but held back; two wives dead on a short period of time would rise a lot of unwanted attention, and a politic conflict with House Royce would be a pain in the ass.

So, he contented himself by treating you the same way he treated Rhea Royce: in the worst way possible.

He couldn’t bear stay in the same room as you, never failing to leave the moment you come.

He didn’t even look at your way, and when it accidentally happened, he would make the most disgusted face ever, as if even staring at you made him nauseous.

His childish behavior lasted until the day of your wedding.

At the end of the party, Daemon didn’t hesitate to go straight to a brothel with the few soldiers from the City Watch that were able to follow him, and didn’t show up until three days later.

On the third day, he showed up, drunk, in the middle of the night, along with two prostitutes that later he brought to his bed chambers, not before giving you his usual disdain look.

Enough was enough; you stormed in on his room, spotting them naked on his bed, the bed that should be shared with you, his wife, and instead, he was sharing it the first women he found on a pleasure house, as if you were less than a whore to him.

You took the bucket with freezing water that you asked to your handmaiden to prepare earlier, and threw it at them; the girls shirked with the shock, and Daemon was ready to insult you, but he was too astonished to cuss when you started to yell:

“YOU TWO, GET OUT OF MY FUCKING HOUSE!” the poor girls, completely terrified, scrambled theirselves, getting their clothes on while trying to fight the pinching on their skin due to the cold weather.

When they were finally out of sight, you turned to your petrified husband, if you could even call him a “husband”, and pointed at him:

“We are not having this conversation right now, it’s late and you’re drunk. So you’ll listen to me very well, because I won’t say it twice: you are going to sleep and tomorrow, first thing in the morning, we’ll talk about what happened here, do you understand me?”

Daemon couldn’t make out the words on his head, probably because of the alcohol on his system, all he could do was open and close his mouth repeatedly, which riled you up even more:

“FOR THE GODS SAKE, DAEMON! I DESERVE AT LEAST A RESPONSE!” you sighed deeply, throwing your hands in the air “You know what? I don’t care, just go to sleep.”

That night, the Rouge Prince went to bed like a child who had been scolded.

The next day, you made sure that Daemon wouldn’t try to skip on your conversation, so you asked for the maids to prepare the prince’s breakfast on a tray so you could bring it upstairs.

You weren’t shocked to see he was still sleeping: after all, he was completely drunk last night. Unceremoniously, you opened the curtains, immediately making Daemon grunt on his sleep. Getting enough of his slowness, you ripped the blankets off of him, finally managing to make him wake up.

Letting him eat a little bit of his meal first, you waited patiently by edge of the bed, sited with your hands on your lap. After a long time, you decided to initiate the conversation.

“I don’t care if you like me, love me or even desire me. Believe me, I couldn’t care less. But what you did last night was extremely disrespectful. Wether you want it or not, I’m still your wife. Do you really think I’m happy? Being married to you? No, I’m not! But I’ve never even once though to take my anger on you. You’re angry, I understand, really, but it’s not my fault if you’re in this situation. I didn’t had a say on it as much as you did! It’s unfair of you to treat me like that when I’m not even the one at fault!”

Daemon thought about your words silently, still munching on his breakfast. Indeed, bickering with you was a waste of time; also, it didn’t make his frustration go away, quite the contrary: every time it made him remember of Rhaenerya and how much he longed for her touch, attention and presence, which made him even more bitter.

However, Daemon Targaryen would never admit he was wrong, at least for now. So, he proposed a truce: both of you would bear each other’s presence, with no more bickering and no more tries to slay each other’s throat.

You left his bedroom quite satisfied; it wasn’t the perfect agreement, but making Daemon Targaryen, The Rouge Prince, know for his stubbornness, shutting his mouth and listening to you AND making an agreement? It sounded pretty much like a victory.

After the incident, Daemon wouldn’t lie that he was impressed by your attitude: most of women would simply turn around to his doings or they’d be so scared to confront him that barely a word would pass trough their lips.

However, you were different: you not only went against him but also threw freezing water on him! Do you know how many could live after that? There’s little a person can do to impress the prince, but showing him that your not afraid to impose yourself definitely makes him hats off to you.

Suddenly, he started to initiate conversations with you. Obviously, he didn’t go on a full dialogue with you, more like small talk, but still, it was a big progress.

One night, you found your husband sitting by the fire on your library, frowning deeply. You couldn’t help but stare at how his silver hair glowed with the fire’s light and how it’s glow sparkled his tired lilac eyes; suddenly sensing your presence, Daemon caught you observing him, which made you break out of your trance.

Trying to cover your embarrassment, with a soft tone, you asked what was bothering him; having no longer patience to act kindly, Daemon brushed you off, stating that “a spoiled brat like you could never be of help.”

“You’d be surprised. Try me.”

Daemon glanced at you, perplexed. Then, he laughed with disdain, sipping on his wine.

“Royce House is asking for an indemnity for Rhea Royce’s death. I’m her legal heir, so House Royce has nothing but their useless name. They require an absurd amount of money that even I couldn’t pay. And even if I could, I’d refuse to spend my money with the family of that bronze bitch.”

The Rouge Prince finished his cup before glancing at his wife; she brought her hands under her chin with a concentrated look. Not longer than a minute, she came up with an ideia:

“If you want them do give up on the indemnity, you should offer them something better than money.”

The prince scoffed “And that would be?”

“A marriage. After you, Rhea’s nephew shall inherit the Vale, right? But, our child will inherit both the Vale and my lands, plus the Targaryen name. There’s no way they’d refuse a betroth with such advantages.”

“That would be the perfect plan, if we had a daughter, my dear wife” “That’s exactly the point.”

Daemon turned to look straight at his wife’s eyes, astonished. “They don’t know we’ve never consummate our marriage, so they’d not have any other option than wait for the birth of our daughter. That way, you—” “Could keep the money and get them off of my ass.”

Neither of you noticed how suddenly the distance between you faded; Now, you’re staring at each other’s eyes while Daemon has a ghost of a smirk on his lips.

“So, a brat like me can, in fact, be of help” you said smugly.

“How can you do that?” he asked on a whisper “do what?” you asked back, the words barely audible.

“Surprise me more and more. Every time I think I’ve finally discover every single part of you, you prove me wrong once again. I must say I like that” Daemon confessed, laughing breathlessly.

“Well, it’s not as if you ever tried to know me, but I must confess that I enjoy getting to know you too.”

He suddenly went silent, so you got worried that you messed up, but the Prince was quick to brush it off “It is useless to say ‘sorry’ when you’re right. I’ve always tried my best to be the worst husband for you, and for that I’m sorry. I was frustrated back than with something that wasn’t your fault, and even so, I took my frustrations on you.”

You were very touched by his words; obviously, you didn’t forgave him out of the blue for every single humiliation he made you pass through, but to know that he acknowledged his mistakes made you hope that someday you could live a healthy relationship.

“Daemon, I’m glad that you—“ “Please, if I don’t say it now, I don’t know if I will ever again” he begged, resting his forehead on your shoulder.

He slid his hands down your arms, finally reaching your smaller hands, which he covered with his bigger ones. His palms were calloused, but still held warmth and a tenderness that you caught yourself enjoying.

Lastly, the prince looked straight into your eyes “I know you’re still hurt by my actions, but I want to let you know that I want to make this marriage work. The last few weeks were the greatest days since a long time, and I finally realized they were because of you. You fascinate me, and I want to keep learning about you.”

Your heart skipped a beat, you could no longer breath. You felt like your heart were going to jump out of your chest, but still then, you replied “I want to get to know you too, Daemon.”

BONUS:

“Now that we’re good, it was kinda hot when you yelled at me”

You looked at him, shocked “For the Gods sake, Daemon, shut up!”

“Yes mommy” “DAEMON!”

[wednesdaymunson]

Head Over Heels

Baby Daddy! Eddie x Fem!reader

Summary: Part 2 to my Baby Daddy! Eddie fic.Slight time jump. Eddie has half assed professed his love for you, but neither of you can bring it up. You're still seeing Keanu. Wayne makes an appearance and scolds Eddie. Eddie is a lil toxic at the end.

Warnings: smut,angst,unprotected sex, creampie, drunk sex(f), mention of oral sex(m receiving)..I think that's it.

A/n: I wrote and rewrote this several times. I'm kinda okay with this version. The ending is opened to the possibility of a third part, or you can make up with what happens in the end ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I Was Made For Lovin' You - part 1

Mine(Interlude)

Word Count: 4,609k

It had been about a month since Eddie left that message. The both of you would always tiptoe around it. You were never direct when trying to ask, and Eddie would avoid it anyway he could. You were afraid to be forward, possibly hearing something you didn't want to know, but it was killing you not knowing 'Why now?'.

You've been on a few low-profile dates with Keanu. He didn't want to alert the paparazzi and drag you into the crazy spotlight. Even with Eddie's fame with Corroded Coffin, you were very much in the background, unnoticed. You weren't even thinking about that, you just wanted to live in the moment. Keanu made you feel seen and heard. He calmed your mind, you knew where you stood with him. 

You made it home just in time. Eddie was dropping off Evelyn at 9am and here it is 8:45. You change into your pjs, wash whatever makeup was left off your face, to turn around and see Eddie behind you. 

"For fuck sakes, Eddie! You scared this shit outta me!... how'd you get in?"

"Well, hello to you too! Look, your door wasn't shut all the way. I got nervous, so I came in preparing to bash some skulls or preparing for the worst.."

You could tell by his tone and his eyes that he was genuine. You hugged him before you even realized it. He tightly hugged you back, and you melted into him. 

"Wait.. where's Evelyn?!"

"Oh! I told her to stay in the car and if someone tried to get her, to hit them with the crowbar I keep in the car." He boldly stated. 

"Eddie, you left a 4 year old in the car with a crowbar? Please go get our daughter." You sigh. 

"On it, sweetheart."

You pinch at his side. 

"Y/N, don't start that." Eddie laughs. 

As soon as Eddie is out of sight, you shut the door and quietly break down. You haven't told Eddie about you seeing someone else. You've been pretty good at keeping it under wraps. You think to yourself, 'Keanu and I aren't exclusive. I'm allowed to date and do whatever, I'm single! Eddie doesn't have to know. I don't know what he does when he's away or when he's not here.'

You splash some water on your face, dry off, and compose yourself. You hear Evelyn knocking on your door. 

"Mommy, open the door! There's no bad guys! It's me, Evelyn Starchild Munson!"

You greeted her as you opened the door. 

"Hi baby! I missed you." You smiled. 

Eddie's eyes met yours, and he could tell you had been crying, but he didn't want to mention it in front of Evelyn, and he also had some business to take care of. 

"Y/N, I have to get going, but I'll call you later. Evelyn, be good for mommy. I'll see you soon, baby. I love you."

Eddie rushes out the door. 

It's almost midnight, Evelyn was tucked away in her bed after a day full of arts and crafts, a melt down because you told her she couldn't get in the oven, and a chicken nugget dinner by the pool. You're drifting off, and your phone begins to ring. 

"Hello?" You answer soothingly. 

"Fuck, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you."

It was Eddie on the other end. Usually, you would be bothered by the late call, but you didn't have the energy tonight. 

"Mm 's okay, Eddie. What did you need to talk about?"

"I'm sorry for calling you this late, just got caught up with stuff at the studio. But I wanted to tell you I'm flying Wayne here in two weeks and wanted to ask if you would have dinner with us. I know he would love to see you and I know you would too."

You haven't seen Wayne since Evelyn's first birthday. He was very much like a father to you. You started calling him "Dad" after it slipped out one day when he asked you to run to the store for him, and it stuck ever since.  He taught you a lot, especially some skills, so you would never have to rely on a man to help when Eddie wasn't around. You haven't spoken to him much since the split, and you did miss him dearly. 

"No worries. Oh, that's nice. Umm yeah, just let me know what day and what you have planned."

"Great! I'm actually hoping to get the old man to consider moving here. He's retiring soon and I think he'd be better off with family around."

"Oooohh…you sure about that? You know how Wayne is." You giggled. 

"I know, I know. Maybe you can sweeten the deal."

"Eddie, I want no part in your shenanigans,buuuuut I do miss him. Evelyn should have her granddad around."

"I knew you'd see it my way."

There's a small silence, and you hear Eddie sigh. 

"Everything okay with you? You looked like you were crying earlier today."

"Yeah, I just got soap in my eyes. Burned like a bitch." You quickly replied. 

"Hmm okay… I just wanted to make sure."

You could tell he didn't really believe you, but he wasn't going to push. 

"Oh, one more thing…what are you wearing?"

"Ugh, goodnight, Eddie."

"Hey, I tried. Goodnight, Y/N."

"Y/N, I know it's only been a few days, but I really do miss you. I can't wait to see you when I get back from New York." Keanu cooed into the phone. 

"I miss you too. How's New York?"

"It's great! There's tons of places I'd love to take you. Oh! I didn't get a chance to tell you, but the rest of the band is here in New York, and we're doing a few secret shows while I'm here!" He exclaimed. 

"Oh, that sounds fun! I'm kinda jealous of the people who get to see Dogstar live." You frowned. 

"Well, maybe I can talk to the band and set up a show when I get home."

"That would be awesome! But you don't have to do that, Keanu."

"I know, but I would definitely do it for you, beautiful."

"You're too sweet."

"Y/N, you know what else I miss?"

"Hmm? What's that?"

"I miss your plump lips wrapped around my hard cock while you look up at me with those big beautiful eyes. I'm sorry if that was brazen of me, but jesus christ Y/N! Any time I think about you, that's one of the things that come across my mind. And you get so wet for me while you do it." Keanu breathes heavily. 

"I enjoy it, and if I can be honest, I like being in control sometimes, and in those moments, I'm very much in control, aren't I?"

"Mm, yes, you are, sweetheart. I'm practically puddy in your hands when I'm in your mouth. Fuck! I can't wait to see you when I get home, I'm going to tear into you!"

"I can't wait either. I.."

"MOMMY!"

"I'm sorry, but I have to cut our conversation short. Evelyn just woke up."

"No worries. I'll call you when I get some free time. I hope you have a good day,  gorgeous. Bye."

"Thank you, you too. Talk to you later."

You lay in bed for a few more minutes to gather yourself. You get up to check on Evelyn, ready to start your day super early. You find her back asleep, arms spread out, one leg hanging off the bed. 

"Oh, my wild child. Just like your dad."

You gently put her leg back in the bed and cover her up. You think about calling Eddie on the walk back to your room, but it's around 5:30 am, and you're sure he's passed out by now. You open your closet and pull out a box. It was a box that was a mixture of sex toys, lubes, a Polaroid camera, and a velvet bag that held a pair of handcuffs. You opened it and pulled them out, the biggest smile flashed across your face. 

It was your first week in Hawkins and your parents moved you and your younger siblings there after your graduation. You saw a flyer on the side of the building for a band playing at the Hideout. 'Corroded Coffin? Hmm might as well. It'll give me something to do in this boring town.'  You thought. That night you met Eddie. Somehow you'd catch him staring at you and then quickly turn his head. You were in the crowd when his band played and you did enjoy the music. After the set you went to the bar and got some water before heading home. 

"Who celebrates with water?"

Eddie stands next to you at the bar. 

"Well, I'm not celebrating anything…should I be?" You laughed. 

"Is this not your first Corroded Coffin show? I've never seen you at any of our shows, and trust me, I would notice and remember a pretty face in the crowd." Eddie smiled. 

"You're correct. This is my first time here and seeing your band. I just moved here a week ago with my family."

"So come celebrate with me and my band. I can make sure you get home safely."

"Oh yeah? I'm not sure about that. You may try to keep me handcuffed in a basement." You giggled while hooking your finger on the handcuffs he was wearing attached to his belt.

"Oh! No! I would never do that! Do I come off like that type of guy?!"

"No, you don't come off like that. I was joking…maybe. " You could barely control your laughter. 

"I'm Y/N, by the way." As you extended your hand. 

"Eddie, amongst other colorful names the town has given me."

He takes your hand in both his, feeling the cold sensation of his rings against your warm skin. 

"Nice to meet you, Y/N. Soooo are you gonna stay?"

"Sorry, I really gotta go. See ya around." You smiled and made your way to leave. 

"HEY! HOW DO I GET A HOLD OF YOU?!" Eddie shouted.

"COME FIND ME!" You shouted back. 

Eddie just happened to run into you at Starcourt Mall, got your number, and eventually asked you out on a date. He was very polite, a great listener, and made you laugh any chance he got. You both shared secrets that you swore each of you would take your graves, insecurities, and dreams. You two were inseparable. 

You take the bag, put everything away and put it in another box full of things that you weren't ready to get rid of. You decide to try to get a little bit of sleep before Evelyn wakes up. Your eyes close and you feel a slight dip in the bed, a small arm wraps around your stomach.

"Mommy, can I have waffles and bacon, please?"

"Of course, baby. Coming right up." You giggled. 

"There's my girls!" Wayne exclaimed.

"GRANDPAAAA!" Evelyn yells, running. 

"Hi Wayne. It's been too long." You smiled

You spent the whole evening laughing and having fun. It felt like old times. You took some pictures and set up the camera and got a "family" shot. Evelyn was getting sleepy, so you offered to put her to bed. 

"You ready to go to bed, love bug? 

"Uh huh. Mommy, are you going to spend the night too?"

There was an awkward silence through Eddie's penthouse. 

"Oh no, baby. I'm going home to sleep in my bed. Grandpa Wayne is staying here for a few days, so he'll sleep in the guest room, you have your room, and Daddy has his." You explained. 

"Can't you share a bed with Daddy? Like other mommies and daddies?"

You nervously looked at Eddie and mouthed "help me" to him. 

"Uh,sweetheart, some mommies and daddies don't like to share beds with one another. "

"Okay. Mommy, can you read me a story please?"

"Of course." You smile and follow Evelyn to her room. 

"Boy, you should have done right by her. I don't know what got into you when you signed that deal and went on tour. That girl was head over heels for you, and I knew that the first night you brought her over. Eddie, I love you, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to kick your ass. You lost a good one."

"You think I don't know that?? When I left the house that morning after she kicked me out, I thought I would be fine. Off to the next one, then the next, and so on and so forth. I found myself comparing every woman to her! I tried to stop, but it never failed. 'Y/N would have handled that differently. Y/N makes this better.' Sometimes I can't sleep knowing I destroyed my family and hurt her. She didn't deserve that, I didn't deserve her. I want to make things right, Wayne."

"Son, I'd be surprised if there weren't about a hundred men trying to break down her door for a chance. She's not like these Hollywood girls. She's a genuine and caring person. You better act quickly before someone beats you to it." Wayne huffed.

You walk back into the living room. 

"I gotta go. I promised Luna I'd have a few drinks with her before I go home, and my taxi should be here soon."

"Well, sweetheart, it was good to see you. I hope I see you a few more times while I'm visiting." Wayne said as he hugged you. 

"It was good seeing you too, Dad. Ya know you should move here when you retire. I'd love for you to see Evelyn more. She needs her granddad around."

"Did Eddie put you up to this??"

"Oh, no!" You smiled and winked at Eddie. 

"Wayne, just think about it." Eddie stated. 

"Fine, I'll think about it."

"My taxi is here. Thanks for dinner, Eddie. Goodnight."

"Maybe you're meant to be together? You really need to talk to him, or you can ignore it, move on with Keanu, and keep second guessing yourself. "

Not only was Luna your babysitter, but she was your best and pretty much only friend out here. She helped pick up the pieces after you kicked Eddie out. She was pretty protective of you. She kept you from making rash decisions in the wake of your breakup that would have landed you on the front cover of the tabloids. But what you didn't know is that she was also a listening ear for Eddie, and she knew how he felt about you. Fortunately, she was a good friend to you both and was unbiased in this situation. She gave you advice when asked, nothing more and nothing less. 

"Luna, I just don't want to go through it again. I can't let a man tell me twice that he doesn't want me."

"Did he ever say he didn't want you? He cheated, I get it. Some people like to have their cake and eat it too. There was nothing wrong with you then. There's nothing wrong with you now."

"I know." You frowned. 

"Y/N, I gotta get going. I have a nanny gig in the morning. I'll call you tomorrow, yeah?" Luna grabbed your hand and squeezed  it as she smiled. 

You stayed and had a few more drinks, and the liquid courage was flowing through your blood. You asked the bartender for the phone. It took you a few drunken tries to dial Eddie's number correctly, but you finally got it. 

"Hello?"

"EDDIE! IT'S ME!"

"Y/N?"

"YESSSSSS! YOU ARE CORRECT, SIR!" You drunkenly yell through the phone. 

"Why are you yelling? Are you drunk??" Eddie questioned. 

"I'm sorry, Eddie." You whispered. 

"Y/N, just try to speak in a normal volume. Are you okay? Where are you?"

"Yes, maybe…I don't know. I'm at Sunset Bar."

"Okay, I'll be there in a few minutes. I'll tell Wayne to keep an eye on Evelyn."

Eddie finds you at the bar nursing a glass of water.  He thanks the bartender for keeping an eye on you. 

"You lush." Eddie chuckled as he grabbed you by the waist. 

"Let's get you home, Princess."

"Thank you, Eddie. Will you make a fluffernutter when we get home?" You murmured. 

"Anything for you." Eddie smiled. 

You sat in the seat and stared at Eddie. You admired his profile. He had his hair pulled back into a ponytail with a few strands of his wavy hair in his face, and he had a fresh undercut. The way the corners of his eyes crinkled when he smiled. When he belted out the words to his favorite songs, the veins in his neck would bulge. You could feel the wetness pooling in your panties. You reached over and lightly scratched the back of his head, feeling the prickly hairs on the tip of your fingers. 

"Mm, that feels really good."

"I bet it does. You know what else would feel really good?"

"Hmm?" Eddie hummed as he gave you a side glance with a raised eyebrow. 

"Your fat cock deep inside me."

Eddie's ring clad hands gripped the wheel tightly, his knuckles whiting. 

"Fuck, Princess are you sure? You've been drinking. I don't think we should."

"I'm a little drunk, yes, but I know exactly what I want, Sir." You grinned. 

"Y/N, you don't even know what that does to me. Thank god we're almost home."

Eddie ups the speed a little, making it to the gate, pushing the access button repeatedly, trying to get it open as quickly as possible. You start to unbutton the top of your dress as Eddie pulls up to your house and places the car in park. You take off your seat belt and press the release button on Eddie's. You're straddling him before he knows it, his bulge pressed against your warm, wet core. 

"Sweetheart, you couldn't wait until we got inside?"

"No, Eddie. I need you inside me now! I need to feel you. I need to feel something other than these god damn conflicting feelings I have for you! Please, I'm begging you." You pouted.

You left Eddie speechless. All he could do at this moment was to grab your face and kiss you. Your lips pressed against his hard, tongues rolling over each other.  He breaks away, grabbing you by the back of your neck, he licks the side of your neck and reaches your ear. 

"You're so fucking needy, I love it when you beg." He growled. 

Eddie pulls on the handle to lean his seat back. He reaches up your dress to find your panties. 

"Oh, baby, I hope these aren't your favorite panties." Eddie grinned.

He pulls out his switchblade and cuts your panties off you and tosses them in the passenger seat—You haven't seen Eddie like this in a very long time. Sure you'd let him paddle you every so often and do a little dom/sub play, but he was always so soft spoken and well mannered ever since you decided to start hooking up,b afraid of fucking things up more. He unbuckled his belt and undid his pants, releasing his hard member,  pre cum already forming at the tip. You firmly grab it to line up to your soaking wet entrance. 

"Wait, I don't have any condoms. Did you bring any?"

"No, I didn't. I'm out, and right now, I really don't care. Just don't cum in me."

You gasp as you sink down on Eddie's thick cock. You feel a pleasurable burn as he stretches you out. He grabs on to your hips as you start riding him. 

"Fuck, your so wet for me, Princess. All that for me?" Eddie breathes haggardly.

"Mm, yes, it's all for you, Eds. Your dick.. f-f-feels so fucking good!"

"I've missed being inside you, your tight pussy gripping around my cock. Fuck, if you keep riding me like this, I don't know how long I'll last, Princess."

You love it when he calls you "Princess", it sparks the fire growing in your stomach.  Eddie's thumb finds your swollen clit and rubs it with a little bit of pressure. Your breath starts to hitch. 

"There it is. I know you're close, sweetheart. I want you to cum for me, cream all over my dick."

With your hands on Eddie's chest, you lean slightly forward, your hips roll desperately to reach your orgasm. Eddie frantically runs circles on your throbbing clit.  

"FFFUUUUCCCKK!" You yell as you dissolve into pleasure. 

You keep riding Eddie while you ride out your orgasm.

"Princess, I-I'm.. you gotta get off, or I'm gonna bust in you!"

You're already chasing your second orgasm.

"Mmm Eds, I-I-I can't stop! I'm cumming again!" You panted. 

Eddie holds you down by your hips as you both reach climax. He spills himself into you, covering your pulsing walls, clenching around him, milking every last bit of him. 

You fall on to his chest, trying to catch your breath. 

"Eddie…I-I love you." You breathed. 

"I love you too, Princess." He huffed. 

"Y/N, as much as I love being in this, uh situation with you, I think we should go into the house and get cleaned up."

"Yeah, you're right." You giggled. 

You're both laying in bed after your shower together, your head resting on his chest.

"I love you, Y/N. I'm sorry that I hurt you. I wish I could take everything back." Eddie whispered into your hair. 

"Then why did you do it? I know I'm not pretty like the groupies on tour or the women out here. Why wasn't I enough for you?" Your voice trembled.

"You're gorgeous, Y/N. You were when we first met, and you'll always be. You were enough. I was just a scared little boy. Everything happened so fast, getting signed, Evelyn, moving to California…I just didn't know how to handle it all, and I didn't know how to tell you."

You sat up to look Eddie in the eyes. 

"Eddie, look at me. You could have told me anything. We've shared so many secrets that we knew each other inside and out. Whatever the world threw at us, we were in it together." You cried. 

Eddie held you in his arms. 

"Shh, I know. I fucked up. I'm sorry Y/N. I'll do better…if you let me try."

"I..I don't know, Eddie." You sniffled.

You eventually fell asleep in his arms. Only to wake up in an empty bed. You roll out of bed and make your way to the kitchen. Eddie is sitting at the table having a cup of coffee. There was a lull in the air. 

"Good morning, Eds." You smiled. 

"So when were you going to tell me that you've been seeing someone else? Keanu fucking Reeves of all people!"

"We're not that serious. We're not exclusive. And why does it matter who I'm seeing or if I'm seeing anyone? You're the last person who should be concerned about my dating life." You snapped. 

"Well he sounded pretty fucking serious in the message he left this morning!" Eddie bellowed.

"Does he know about us?"

"He knows what you put me through."

"So he doesn't know that you call me over here to fuck you senseless when you want to get off?.... Are you fucking him?"

"What? That's none of your god damn business, Eddie. I'm single, I can do as I please. YOU! YOU CHOSE THIS FOR ME WHEN YOU DECIDED TO FUCK EVERY BITCH FROM HERE TO THE EAST COAST AND LIE TO ME UNTIL ONE OF THEM HAD THE GUTS TO TELL ME THE TRUTH!" You sobbed. 

"Fuck, Eds. I love you, but how do I know you won't cheat on me again? I would look so fucking stupid for trusting you with my heart again."

"... Why him?"

" I dunno, he's nice. He makes me feel seen and heard. I know where I stand with him. He knows I have responsibilities, and he supports me pursuing my passion in art. If it wasn't him, Eds, I'm sure it would have been one of the plethora of guys that came around after we broke up. I didn't realize people knew who I was, but obviously, others were paying attention to me."

You could see that Eddie was disappointed in himself. His eyes were darting back and forth. He seemed like he was analyzing an invisible piece of code on the table.

"Let's get married!" Eddie blurted. 

"Eddie, you can't do that to me! This isn't going to magically solve any of this."

"You love me, right? And I love you. Let's do this!"

"Eds, it's going to take a lot for us to even get to the idea of marriage. Maybe…we should stop having sex…take a break…just strictly co parent."

By this time, Eddie has already standing next to you at the counter, arms folded. 

"Is that what you really want?" 

"I think it would be best for now. We can figure out what we really want out of this, if we even want it." You sighed. 

"I know what I want, and I'll fight for it. Even if I have to burn this world to the ground. But if this is what you want, I'll respect it. " Eddie muttered. 

"Thank you, Eddie. I think you should get back to Wayne and Evelyn. I'm gonna hop in the shower and gather myself. Lock the door when you leave, please?"

"Sure thing. I'll see you later."

You head to your room and start your shower. Before Eddie leaves, he picks up the phone and dials *69. The phone rings a few times before Keanu picks up. 

"Hello?"

"Look fucko, whatever you think you have with Y/N, you don't anymore. Leave her the fuck alone." Eddie gritted through his teeth with a clenched jaw. 

"Oh, this must be Eddie, her ex that cheated on her while she was pregnant and up until the point she kicked you out. Look dude, she's a big girl, she can make her own decisions. We're having fun and living in the moment. But I do see myself pursuing this for the long run. May the best man win, bud." Keanu chuckled. 

"Yeah? Well… Dogstar is dog shit!" Eddie yells before he hangs up. 

'What an asshole.' Thought Eddie.

When you came back out, Eddie was already gone. You weren't sure if you did the right thing or not. Maybe you should have broken things off with Keanu. You decided to grab some breakfast at your favorite diner. As soon as you were leaving the phone range. 

"Hello?"

"Hey there, beautiful, how are you?"

"Hey, Keanu! I'm okay, a bit hungry, so I'm on my way to get some breakfast. How are you?"

"I'm great, just missing you. Would you be able to have dinner with me tonight?"

"Oh, you're coming home early? Yeah, Evelyn is with Eddie and her granddad for the week. So I'm hanging solo."

"Unfortunately, I'm not coming home early, but I'd like to fly you out for a few days, if that's okay?"

"Of course! I'll let Eddie know that I'm going out of town for a few days."

"Perfect. I'll have a driver pick you up in two hours. Don't worry about packing, we'll go shopping. See you later, Y/N."

"Bye, Keanu."

You're all smiles and butterflies. You grab your sunglasses and head out the door to the diner. In a few hours, you'll be in the arms of another man. Did it make you feel bad? A bit, but you deserved to be happy. 

Divider @racingairplanes

A/n- I feel like I formatted weird due to the amount of dialogue or maybe it's just me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ let me know what you think. Leave comments, reblog, and like. It's greatly appreciated.

Tag list: @marvelnbangtanslut @bimbobaggins69 @heyyimmisunderstood @hiscrimsonangel @sweet-villain

[gayratguy]

Cock-For-Hire: Kiwi

-Cock tf-

This one is a but longer y’all sorry but feel free to send any criticism or stuff y’all would like to see more of

My summer between my freshman and sophomore year at college, back before I used my ability to merge with guys cocks for profit, I was working at a dive bar back home which got really busy over the summer. I would wait and bus tables while making googly eyes at one of the servers named Harry, a pretty fitting name for him. He was a foreign student who had been studying abroad in the states and was here for another month before heading back to New Zealand. He was this thicc muscley rugby guy with an even thicker accent to boot. The worst part was he was actually really nice to everyone too. Needless to say I was head over heals for this guy. I worked extra shifts just to talk to him, hearing him mispronounce my name as “bean” instead of “Ben” kind of got me going in a way. Long story short some stuff with my family was going down and work had taken a lot out of me when I was thinking of taking a dick-cation. It was about a week before Harry would have to leave and we were back at his apartment having a few beers when I drunkenly asked if I could be his cock for a week, explaining how stressful everything was right now and how hot I thought he was. Looking back now was definitely not my proudest moment but he was flattered but also a little concerned for my safety. He asked me how it was possible which I explained to the best of my ability and told him how good it felt to me and how I would give him some extra sensitivity and inches. Harry agreed and asked how we go about merging me. I explained and promptly pulled down my pants and presented my ass to him. He grabbed some lube from his bedroom and pulled down his pants whipping out a solid 8inch dick. I was a little nervous but he greased it up and slowing eased me into it before he started to jackhammer me. He felt me slowly pull into him and before too long he shot nearly a gallon of cum all over his couch. At least he was just gonna put it on the curb anyway. I had originally planned on staying there for a week and unmerging before he flew back but after feeling some of the immense pleasure of being the 6’2” 260 lb rugby players fat cock, I decided I’d stay a little longer. He had packed up his stuff and gave me one more chance to unmerge before I flew with him. i didn’t respond and I think he started to get worried that I had lost myself. Before we knew it I was throbbing at him in his seat on the plane. He jacked me off three times on the flight. I spent the rest of the summer as his dick as we toured all of the gay bars, getting me sucked off and using me to pound nearly a hundred people. Even when we took it easy he would chat with me while slowly edging me on his couch till I coated myself with his seed. I was drunk off his musk for nearly the entire summer until two days before fall semester started I unmerged, we spent a full day fucking then I merged with someone heading to the states to start my sophomore year.Best summer ever! i can’t wait for spring break when I’m back down there swing between his beefy thighs.

[americasass81]

Shattered Hearts

Warnings 18+ for the following:- Relationship Breakup, Implied Stalking, Brief Mention of Character Death, Smut {m/f), Minor Edging, Use of Pet Names. Seriously do not read if any of this upsets you, the warnings are there for a reason. Feedback is welcomed and any mistakes are my own.

By proceeding you are acknowledging that you are over 18 and are consenting to the content below the cut.

Synopsis: Can a broken heart and a chance encounter really lead to everlasting love?  Take a shot and find out.

Author’s Note 1:- Written for @targaryenvampireslayer Blind Date Writing Challenge.  Got there eventually, right? 🤣 Still thank you for hosting this Suz and presenting me with an opportunity to finally add Clint to my masterlist.  The prompts received are as pictured below (also typed in bold throughout):- 

Author’s Note 2:- Flashback scenes in italics.

Author’s Note 3:- As usual all images have been found through google search.

Pairings:- Clint Barton x Female Reader

Total Word Count:- 4,502

Surrounded by half-drunk bodies, smoke and loud music, finishing off your drink and setting aside the empty glass, you let the last dart fly, not really caring what score it produced as long as it hit the board. Hell at this stage of the night all you really wanted to hear was the darts thump into the dartboard as hard as possible while the image of your ex's face filled your vision. Your ex. Oh how you wished you could puncture his face as you made your way towards the board, retrieved the darts and began the whole process all over again in the hopes that it would somehow release every bottled up feeling threatening to tear you apart from the inside out. But alas it wasn't meant to be. Five more rounds, too many more glasses of alcohol to count and you didn't feel any better . . . and honestly how could you?

Sweet, polite and more that willing to help out other people in any way you could, your kind nature and uncanny ability to pick out the worst possible partners in life was exactly the combination of attributes that had landed you here now drowning your sorrows and fending off every man and woman that seemed to think one night with them would magically cure you of the current mood that traveled with you like an old friend. After all, thanks to your latest failing it now appeared crystal clear that you and a lasting, long term relationship were about as compatible as chalk and cheese. Yet there was a part of you that still yearned for one.

Resting your head momentarily now against the dartboard as your hand reached up automatically to pull out the darts once more, you heard Felix's voice again and returned to the beach where he had not only told you things were over between the two of you, but that it had never really been that serious to begin with. As if it ever could be. Apparently now that he was walking away, all the nice things you had ever done for him had been a thorn in his side and to really rub salt in your wounds, he had actually proven himself to be the very worst of all your ex partners by admitting that he had in fact been seeing someone else the whole time that both of you were together and was now ready to commit to a life with her.

And all of this after you had spent the day preparing an anniversary picnic and buying him tickets to watch his favorite team play their final match of the season. God you really knew how to pick them.

Jerking back to the present now as about the seventh person this night appeared beside you, placed their hand upon your ass and asked if they could turn your frown upside down, another strained, polite "no thank you" and the now familiar path back to the white marker on the floor had you ready once more to take your hurt and anger out on the dartboard when events took you in a new and totally surprising direction.

With characteristics indicative of yet another guy, coming up to stand behind you and placing one hand on your left shoulder as his other one skimmed lightly down your right to cup the hand holding the darts, your were about to push this new chancer away, tell him you weren't interested and actually leave the bar this time when his gently uttered instructions on how to hold the dart and move your arm distracted you enough for his next words to somehow reset your entire mood and grant him a temporary opening.

"I know, Baby. I'm right here, breathe."

Relaxing back against his strong chest now despite your better judgment and allowing him to guide your body through the movements, the dart leaving your hand and lodging itself perfectly in the bull's eye, followed by two more after that, had you questioning this new turn of events and the stranger responsible for pulling it all off. Only he wasn't a stranger at all. Not really.

Releasing yourself from his embrace just long enough to return to the dartboard and pull the darts free from the center circle like always, turning around to see who you would now have to fend off, your movements and words failed you however when your eyes locked on the vision before you. For this really was someone the whole world recognised.

Short haired, flannel wearing, blue eyed and totally buff in all the places that turned you on, him walking forward to meet you now had the whole bar silently watching what happened next given that Hawkeye had left wherever it was he resided these days to spend some time amongst the normal, everyday rabble . . . and you in particular it seemed.

Placing his hands on your shoulders again and winking at you discreetly to hold your attention, he then bent forwards and rested his lips gently against yours before pulling back and speaking just loud enough for all those present to get an understanding of the image he wanted to convey. "Sorry I'm late baby, work ran a little longer than planned but I'm here now. Are you ready for me to take you home?"

Slotting yourself into this scene now and nodding your head enough for him to notice since you didn't think your voice would actually work in this situation, Clint next walked you back towards your bar stool, held up your jacket for you to slip into and then placing his hand around your waist, led you from the bar and out onto the street where the lack of people and cool night-time air broke his spell and somehow sobered you up just enough to have you turning away from him swiftly and spewing the contents of your night's activities onto the sidewalk. But at least you now felt so much better and clear headed. That is until you straightened back up to find Clint still standing where you'd left him with a concerned look on his face. It seemed you now had to finish off your night by dealing with this hero.

Wiping off your mouth now with a stray piece of tissue and dumping it then into the nearest rubbish bin, you now took in some much welcome breaths before returning to stand in front of the avenger and bracing yourself for what lay ahead. Introducing yourself and thanking him for his assistance, you next pulled out your phone to ring for a cab only to be struck mute and incredulous once again when his hand reached out to yours, snatched the phone from it and spoke once more. "Baby forgive me, but my conscience cannot allow me to have you take a cab home alone in this condition. May I?" he asked before giving you the once over and pointing you in the direction of what you could only assume happened to be his truck.

Looking now between it, him and your confiscated phone as well as the alcohol you had just deposited onto the sidewalk, you contemplated turning down his offer but figured when a slight thrumming made itself known between your ears that you didn't have much of a choice. After all being an avenger he probably was your safest option home especially if this new annoyance turned out to be the mother of all hangovers you suspected it to be. So reluctantly, you accepted his gracious offer.

Wasting no time then when you nodded your agreement once more, Clint now took you gently by the arm and walked you to his truck before opening the passenger's door and helping you inside. Then buckling you in, he next walked over to the driver's side, situated himself behind the wheel and turned to face you before asking for your address so that he could fulfill his promise to see you home safely. Which it seemed is exactly what he did. Opening your eyes at last when the truck stopped moving beneath you and the release of the safety belt signaled the journey had ended, you admitted silently to being a little surprised at the ease at which you had let your guard down and allowed yourself to actually doze off in his presence. Then again he was an avenger so you figured your safety was all but guaranteed.

Sitting there a few seconds longer now as the sight of home and the cooling night air brought you back to thoughts of your warm waiting bed, you thanked Clint once more for rescuing you as he helped you from his truck and walked you the short distance to your door. However he still wasn't ready to leave your side. Watching your hand tremble slightly as the key and lock refused to connect, Clint then graciously mirrored his actions from the bar and guided your hand and key to the lock, turned it easily and led both of you inside. Turning on the light then and walking you carefully through your place, you would have, under normal circumstances, wondered how he knew his way around your home, but in this moment as he sat you on the chair inside the bedroom door and began removing your shoes all that mattered was the bed calling out to you and the sleep it so readily offered.

Remaining on the chair now while Clint gently continued by next removing all your clothes, you knew the alcohol was winning out however when he then placed you under the covers and your hand reached out to grasp his firmly before your tired and ragged words broke the silence all around you, "stay please. It's been a shitty twenty-four hours and I just wish I had someone to hold me." Shooting his eyes down to where your hands connected, they lingered there momentarily before then landing on your face to gauge just how serious you were. Too tired now it seemed to fully function, yet still not out of it enough to let go of his hand, Clint must have seen something in your features for as morning's light hit you once again his body laying atop the other side of the bed confirmed that last night's plea had won out.

Not that it mattered at this particular moment.

Easing out of bed carefully now so as not to wake it's other occupant, you smiled softly at the sight of the orange juice and painkillers, took them gratefully and then hurried off to the en suite to take care of what had woken you up before dealing with the sight that greeted you again on your arrival back into the bedroom. For it brought with it a panic that almost turned your body rigid as images of the night before sprang to life before your very eyes. For your memories revealed that sleep hadn't quite claimed you straight away as you had hoped.

Tucked up snugly under the covers after Clint agreed to your request, him resting atop those same covers to keep you company, like he remained when you woke up, had mixed with the alcohol still thrumming throughout your system to blow your defenses apart and lay bare all the pain the darts had failed to exorcise. Retelling it all in infinite detail the story of what had landed you at that bar, as well as all the useless and unworthy lovers that had paved the way, Clint reaching out his calloused fingers to wipe away your tears were nothing compared to the words that broke through your current misery and somehow brought you comfort.

"Baby don't waste another tear on those losers. If they can't appreciate the treasure before them, there are those of us only too willing to step in and treat you right. Rest now," he ordered gently then before placing his lips tenderly against yours as sleep finally claimed both of you.

Which brought you right back to how you had just woken up and all the questions your current predicament now flooded your mind with.

For starters, how were you going to talk yourself and your guest away from the information dump your inebriated state had divulged against your will the previous night? Added to that, how were you going to wake up the avenger before you and get him out of your house and your life? More importantly however, did you even want him out of your life?

Stopping up short on this question now as the preposterous notion that last night was anything other than a kind gesture on his part told you to let him go, your mind began to wander again however as your eyes landed on his still sleeping form and your legs now took control and walked you over to his side of the bed. Dropping to your knees then and really focusing on him now, your world suddenly spun wildly on its axis with the only thought that crystallized clear in your mind . . . you didn't want him to leave.

Taking in a silent breath after this revelation before reaching gently up to place your hand against his cheek, this close to him now you finally saw the difference between the legend and the man. For this was not Hawkeye. Oh sure, it looked like him and god knows what you had so far felt of his physique certainly confirmed his years of S.H.I.E.L.D. training, but laying before you now as sleep still held his vulnerable form, you suddenly realized was not the strapping avenger known for battling alien forces, leaping backwards off seriously tall buildings or surviving his wife and kids disappearing before his very eyes.

For he hadn't survived at all. Watching on your knees still, the lines now evident on his still handsome face and the painful memories that moved his body slightly through sleep told you he had simply buried the pain and did what was expected of him while leaving behind this shell that seemed, like you, to be longing for some sort of real physical and emotional connection. And perhaps that's what drew him to you at the bar and kept him with you last night. But where did that leave both of you now?

Rising from the floor on this thought now and turning to walk away to get dressed so as not to deal with this new lingering question, Clint opening his eyes and firmly grasping your hand, as yours had his the previous night, before pulling you down onto himself and the bed as his lips caressed yours, forced you to suddenly accept that this really was something you very much wanted. Last night sure it would have been the alcohol talking, but now as dawn's light peaked through the curtains and Clint whispered words of endearment you weren't really listening to, your body seemed to take you where your heart was willing to go. Even if it was only for this one precious time.

Pulling back first for air now and looking at this man who still lay fully clothed atop the covers, your hand came up to rest against his cheek again before speaking, "I'm not sure if guys ever get asked this but, are you sure this is what you want? I completely understand if you just wanna leave," you finished hesitantly though you could have heard a pin drop in the silence that followed. Allowing his actions to convey all the sentiment his currently occupied mouth seemed incapable of expressing, Clint continued to kiss and caress every inch of you instead until both of your lungs screamed out for air once more and the clothing imbalance between you finally became a bigger issue.

Reaching out to remove his shirt then while also pulling off his t-shirt to reveal his extraordinary physical form underneath, you were just about to carry on the same process with his jeans when a smirk from him had him leaping off the bed while a pout now spoiled your once graceful features. For it seemed this avenger still possessed a playful streak. Bending down to remove his socks as your eyes remained glued to every miniscule action, he next lifted his head ever so slightly to look at you through his lashes as his hands then began a slow sensual trail back up his legs which you now longed to squeeze and caress.

Scooting up the bed now and resting against the headboard, your fingers mirrored the same trip downwards however when his belt became undone and his hips began to wiggle themselves free of the constraining fabric that held his equipment. Never breaking eye contact then as his hands removed the jeans and boxers, Clint now straightening back up to find your hand resting against your core still held that mischievous smirk on his face when you finally realized he had strategically positioned his hands over his privates to keep you further in suspense. Not that this situation would last long however as it seemed both of you lacked the necessary patience to prolong this delightful form of torture.

Biting your lower lip now as your fingers began to stoke the embers growing within your pussy, the softest of moans leaving your lips had Clint cursing just under his breath as his hands now took on a mind of their own and began to pump life into his phallus as both of you encouraged each other towards release while remaining completely cut off from one another. Burying your fingers then within your pussy while your thumb played softly against your clit, your ragged breaths joining with Clint's as his hand moved faster along his member finally tipped both of you over the edge and as the avenger collapsed on the bed below your feet, both of you surrendered to your first orgasms before your laughter broke through the euphoria of what you had just done.

For it seemed upon discussion neither of you had ever done anything so uninhibited before. But at the same time it didn't seem to bother either of you. Instead picking his t-shirt back up off the floor and wiping his cum off his hand, Clint then crawled up the bed and nestled himself between your legs before reaching out to take your hand previously buried deep within your flower. Moving it towards his lips then as your head shook wildly with what he was about to do, you seriously wanted to reach out and hit him however as his laughter broke through the silence once more when his t-shirt now covered your fingers and proceeded to clean each of them off as well.

Discarding the soiled material then before kissing the back of your hand, Clint next moved farther up the bed until your chests met and nothing but a whisper was all that was needed now for you to hear his answer to your long ago statement about setting him free. "Of course I want this baby and I'm not going anywhere. Now let me show you the joys of someone totally devoted to nobody but you," he continued as his thumb now wiped away a tear again while your gently uttered yes had him burying his lips against yours before he moved both of your bodies down the bed so as to make you more comfortable before he finally laid claim to everything that made you you.

And that's exactly what he did up until the point where a single lucid moment had you wondering what you had done and what on earth you had allowed to happen. For there was no going back from this it seemed. Filling yourself with alcohol and releasing all your anger for your ex and those that had gone before had irreparably weakened your defenses and now that Clint had gotten through he had you right where he wanted you . . . ready and willing it seemed to let him in and fall in a way you swore you never would. But surely there had to be some hope left to you. Some moment that would enable you to close your heart once more and protect yourself from the pain that would now inevitably come when you were once again tossed aside for someone taller, prettier or simply more alluring than you.

Finding such a moment somehow between Clint's all encompassing attention and devotion to assess your options, you had to admit defeat however when the reality of his prowess finally hit you. You were well and truly lost. Oh sure, you wanted to fight back. To scream and rage and push him off you. But not for the reasons one might suspect considering how this encounter had actually started or all the secrets you were still not privy to. After all, you did consent to this. No, as the head of his cock rested now just inside your entrance, what hurts so much in this moment was the intimacy of his actions. The softest of kisses pressed too tenderly against your fevered skin. The feel of his fingers skimming lightly over every patch of flesh they touch as if mapping out a trail to each body part they came in contact with. The just there weight of his body against yours. Strong yet light at the same time as his elbows kept his weight from crushing you completely.

And stealing a moment now to gaze into his eyes as your foreheads rested against each other, you know he feels it too. The connection that somehow goes so much deeper than that of flesh and blood and bone and penetrates the soul until each of you will recognize the other no matter what lies beyond this life . . . and the realization is beyond frightening. At least until Clint distracts you with his movements and your body begins to register a whole new set of feelings and sensations instead.

Dragging his member in and out of you slowly while his balls rested against your ass and his pubic bone set you clit on fire as if he was determined to carve out a spot for his shaft inside your pussy, you tried to control your breathing as he continued to gaze deep into your eyes while his lips caressed yours on every second or third thrust, but it seemed you would have to try something else to get him to give you what you really desired most. "Clint, please," you begged through tears and desperation as his hands now stretched towards yours and both of your fingers twined together in an embrace as old as any in existence. Both of you now couldn't get any closer . . . or so you thought.

"I know, Baby. I'm right here, breathe," Clint now repeated in answer to your plea as his hips no longer moved against you, though his cock somehow twitched within you making you feel more connected to another human being than you had ever felt before. Which was shockingly overwhelming. But still it was nothing compared to what the archer got up to next. Gazing up into his blue eyes that sparked fantastically with unshed tears, his lips devouring yours in tender kisses proved an interesting contrast to the filthy words that now left his mouth as you broke apart again to take in some much needed air. "Come on now baby, squeeze my shaft. Let me feel those silky walls clamp down and suck the life from me in a way that joins us body and soul forevermore."

Following through on his request as if you suddenly had no will of your own, one final thrust from him as your walls obeyed his very command found you and Clint moaning into each other's mouths as his release triggered your own and one orgasm blended with another over and over again until the former avenger collapsed atop you totally spent.

Returning to the world again some time later then to find yourself now stretched out atop his powerful frame, Clint's shaft still buried deep within you would not have been enough to hold you but it seemed he suspected as much as his arms also wrapped around you and held you close as his sleeping chest gently rose and fell beneath your own.

Reaching out gingerly once more to caress his face and relish this moment a little longer, your hopes of not waking him shattered just as easily however as the illusion that this could last forever when the man who made you feel like the center of existence opened his eyes and smiled at you as if the very sun itself rose and fell within your eyes. "Hey there baby, ready for another round?" he asked sleepily as his cock stirring once more within you brought your own longings back into sharp focus . . . as well as all your insecurities.

"I'm good, Clint. Besides it's not like this was ever going to be some permanent thing. You have people you need to save and I have a life I should probably get back to," you reminded him as you now tried to worm your way out of his arms and off his cock. But he wasn't having any of it. Pulling you closer now, though you still couldn't see how such a thing was even remotely possible, his lips capturing yours once more as his hips began to thrust back into you told you much more than his words ever could . . . he was not prepared to let you go.

Using his considerable skills and assets now to work you towards another orgasm, holding you on the edge just long enough however to have you whining above him brought him more satisfaction than he ever thought possible, but apparently he wanted more. "Agree to be mine baby. Promise yourself to me and from here on out love, contentment and some of the best sex in the world is all either of us will ever know," he uttered by your ear as a nibbling and sucking sensation along your neck told you that his claiming of you was ramping up another notch.

Laughing at his presumptuousness while pulling back and looking at him now through blissed out euphoria as he lifted your hips off his erection to the point where only the head of his shaft connected both of you again, you tried to fight the feelings he had awoken within you but failed miserably when your resolve was finally shattered by the softest murmured yes to ever leave your lips. Rejoicing in his victory then as his own gleeful squeals joined your own, Clint next set about spending the rest of the morning finding new ways to erase all the hurt you had ever felt while simultaneously reminding himself that he too was not yet beyond love's redeeming light.

[jinx-on-mars-19xx]

Cleanse Your Sins

(Kill Somebody Like You Part Two Chapter Twelve)

🔪Previous Parts Here🔪

Dom x Colson (Yungblud x Machine Gun Kelly)

Warnings: ABO dynamics (knots, slick, heats, mpreg), alpha serial killer/hitman Dom, omega mob boss Kells, cursing, baby fic, d/s dynamics, drunk Dom, past abuse, past SA, desperation, piss kink/omorashi, edging, teasing, playful torture, top Kells, bottom Dom, dropped Dom, mentions of self harm, mentions of attempted suicide, (sounds heavy but it's a smutty chapter), orgasm denial, pressure, switching, horror movie play, sexting, improper use of a horror movie, mentions of bombs, mentions of assassination, hurt/comfort, enemies to lovers ❤️‍🔥 Rating: explicit af

All ideas helped by @iamnotanearthlingmotherfucker 🩷

Dominic barely held on until the credits rolled but he'd committed to watch a movie with his family and at some point he'd made an unspoken agreement to let himself be edged. He was still confused about when exactly he did that but he was drunk enough he wasn't surprised he missed something along the way. He was sweating, he was so worked up and bothered by multiple things. On one hand he had downed half a bottle of tequila and chased it with two cups of coffee and a bottle of water. His bladder was so full it was aching but it didn't matter, he'd been rock hard since the movie started and he was pretty sure his mate was trying to play with exposure therapy in the weirdest most fucked up way possible. Wasn't exactly out of the norm for them but still, he could tell the other man was in a mood.

At every worst, most bloody scene Colson would text him a picture of their sex or himself playing. Dom didn't even know he had such a backlog of nudes. The bastard kept teasing him about getting off on torture porn but he was the one causing it! The Alpha was far too sloshed for this shite.

The moment the credits rolled he tried to push himself up and over the arm of the couch but he got caught and fell to the ground. He enjoyed the sound of everyone giggling because it felt good natured even though he knew they were probably all still a little annoyed with him. “Careful baby boy.” His mate soothed and something went soft in his mind. He knew the other man was doing that on purpose- ‘baby’ was something he always called him but ‘baby boy' was to keep him down. Dom pulled himself up and did a little ‘ta-da’ motion to joke around before he turned to run to the bathroom. “Wait for me.” His lover added and he paused.

“I'm jus' going-”

“Wait. For. Me.” The boss’s voice came out more steady and demanding and the killer's feet froze. It didn't matter what he was ‘just’ doing, he wasn't permitted. It was that simple. His lip rolled between his fangs and he looked back at his omega who was taking his sweet ass time. He'd been holding their sleeping babe through the movie and he gently moved him to one arm and he eased himself to stand.

“Gimme. I'll watch him while you…” Blain started but cleared his throat.

Colson handed Punk over and smiled, kissing their older son on his forehead. “We're lucky to have you kiddo. Remind me to raise your allowance.” He teased and Dom snorted.

“But I already have an unlimited credit card?” The kid laughed and Kells nodded.

“Because all my bitches deserve the best.” He hummed as he met Dom and wrapped his arms around him, squeezing the poor Alpha’s stomach. The noise he made was music to Col’s ears and he hoped it set the precedence for the next hour or so. He was taking complete control and the other's torture was just beginning. He leaned down and whispered in his ear, making sure to brush his lips over the lobe. “When we get in that room I want you to strip and put a towel down on the floor. Kneel for me. Do not piss. You don't want to know what I'll do if you do.” His voice was already a growl and he was close enough to feel the killer shudder. He took a step back, put a happy smile on his face, and he slapped his lover's ass to get him moving. To everyone else it looked playful but the boy had to swallow a whine and pull his hoodie down over his crotch. It was hard enough Colson wondered if he made him leak.

Dom stumbled forward, every step felt awkward and off kilter. His body was shaking and he still felt fuzzy around the edges but bloody fuck he was aching for whatever Kells had in mind. The moment he entered their room he started stripping, he didn't even care if he heard the door shut or not. His hoodie fell to the floor, followed by his sweats and he made himself go to the closet to grab a towel. They were separate from their bathroom ones, thicker and more waterproof. Col had a number of things he didn't fully understand but he was happy to learn from his perfect teacher. Once he got back to the bedroom and had it unrolled he placed it on the floor next to the bed. He could feel the other man watching him, tracking his every move and it made everything feel hotter. More desperate. He tried even harder to make sure he did everything exactly right.

Colson closed the door behind him and he leaned against it as he watched his fiancé move. The killer had stripped down to his boxer briefs and his gorgeous ass was bouncing with every move. He could feel himself salivating at the sight and his desire for the boy but he needed to stay in control. He was throbbing hard in his shorts and dripping wet already. Dom might be easy for him but he was just as easy for his Alpha. He just had to cover it up a little more. His fingers didn't shake as he undressed but it was a near thing. He had to keep his breathing even and his hands calm. “You remember what else I said.” He huffed as he dropped his shirt and pushed down his shorts and underwear, his dick slapped his belly and covered his tats in precum. Fuck he was wet everywhere. “Leave the underwear.”

Dominic stopped with his fingers tucked into his briefs but when he started to pull his touch free his lover spoke again. “Pull the back down and get on your knees.” The Alpha blushed hot which so rarely happened but he was drunk, horny, and there was something so naughty feeling about his ass being bare for whatever the other wanted. He obeyed though, tugging the back down until his cheeks were free. His cock poked out the top in the front like it always did when he was hard and he knelt on his knees on the towel. “Tuck it back in.” It took the boy a moment to work out what the omega meant but he pushed his dick down until the fabric stretched to cover him. It looked a bit ridiculous and he knew the pair was probably no longer useful because it would be too stretched out, but as long as his mate was happy he didn't care.

Col could tell he had his partner confused but that was exactly what he needed. He needed him to obey no matter what and be the lost little lamb he appeared so often, ready for whatever his Daddy said next. Seeing the boy so broken down had stirred something inside the man and he needed to break him completely before putting him back together and sewing the pieces with his own soul. He'd glue him back together with his sweat and cum and slick. He felt primal and overwhelmed with the need for control. He didn't just want to see his bitch broken, he wanted to see him debased. He didn't know where it came from, he wasn't angry with Dom he didn't think. He just needed to prove he was owned and he wasn't allowed to leave. In any way, shape, or form.

“Wha’ now?” Dom asked sheepishly, his toes curling against the towel. His stomach hurt he needed to piss so bad but he was so turned-on he was aching. The pressure of his briefs felt almost too much and sweat was breaking out over his skin. He couldn't see his lover who was watching him from behind but he felt his foot when it pushed him forward. He fell a little too hard, even on his knees he was unsteady but he caught himself and leaned over on his elbows, clasping his hands together.

“Shut the fuck up.” Colson snapped. His eyes filled with hot tears. He hadn't thought he was still upset but before he could stop himself he was speaking again. His voice thready. “How fucking dare you. You almost left me. Us. You don't get to ask anything because you almost left me alone. You swear you were only trying to go up?” He asked, swallowing the pit in his throat.

“Y-yeah. I'm sorry luv.”

“Excuse me? What the fuck did you call me?”

“I'm sorry Daddy!” Dom called out as he felt his mate lay a hand in the middle of his back and push.

“Do you swear on me?” He asked again. He had to make sure.

“I- I- I weren't finking. I didn't mean… I don't know. I weren't finking. M’sorry. I jus' wanted to stop ‘urting and I fhought if I got away…” The killer trailed off. He was positive he wasn't actively trying to die in the moment but he wasn't thinking enough either. He didn't care for a minute what happened to him. It was a darkness different from all the others in his mind. It was the pitiful one that hid from his partner and cowered in the corner. It was one he could never conquer completely. He hated it. “I love you.” It was the only truth he knew for certain.

“Fuck you.” Kells pursed his lips and spat on his mate's ass before he ripped a pillow off their sofa and shoved it under Dom's belly. When he had it in place he pressed his hand back in the middle of the killer's spine and pushed. His bitch whimpered but he obeyed and let himself fall against the pillow. “Don't break.”

“Don't- wha’? Wha’ you mean?”

Colson huffed. It didn't feel like enough. He wanted to see his partner's face as he shattered. He stood up and kicked the cushion out from under the boy, smirking when Dom cursed. His lover was still too gone to catch himself and he wondered if he shouldn't just leave him wondering. Waiting. “On your back. Don't let go until I say you can. You don't want to piss me off more do you?”

“I didn't know you was pissed.” Dom grumbled but he obeyed, rolling over and letting his bare ass touch the cool cloth.

“Think you can take me dry?” Whatever answer Dom was about to give Col could feel it wouldn't be true. The Alpha wouldn't lie on purpose but he'd do anything to make Kells happy. He'd let himself be fucked bloody and thank him for it. As much as the omega wanted to see that… feel it… he didn't want him hurt that badly. Not when an idiot was after them. They didn't have the free time to relax, they had to be at the top of their game. They could still mess up and get hurt even by an ignorant fuckhead if they weren't careful. “Nah. Not dry. Not yet. I wanna hear you take me.” He purred, kneeling between his partner's legs.

Dom tried to focus his gaze but he was in that hazy space of drunkenness that felt sleepy and peaceful. He wanted to close his eyes and feel everything that Colson had planned for him but he knew he needed to be ready. He wasn't sure it was all going to be fun for him, not after what he did. Not with how he could tell the older man was feeling. He just watched as Col got closer, his hard cock brushing Dom's ass. He knew it wouldn't be that simple though.

Kells watched as his fiancé blinked slow and tried to focus on him but he smirked when he pressed his hands against Dom’s belly and that got the boy's attention. “Fuck Cols- nowaitwha’-” His voice was slurred and nervous and Colson couldn't help but chuckle. There was already a stain on his briefs from a dribble of piss or a smear of precum he wasn't sure and it didn't matter. Before long he'd see the killer more drenched than he always was.

The sound of Col spreading his wet thighs had Dom shaking more than he was at the pressure on his bladder but he did what he was supposed to and spread his own legs wider. His ass pressed down, his body searching for what he needed most, both to get away from the weight on his belly and get his partner's dick inside him. “Still. Shh, still for me. Good boy. How's that feel?” Kells asked as he pulled one hand free to reach for his own core and gather the slick he needed.

“‘Urts. Too much. Gonna- mmm-” Dom tried not to whine but he knew he was.

“It's supposed to. You'll piss when you're allowed. Not before.”

“Not um- baffroom?”

The smile on Col’s face spread wider and he laughed so dark it tickled over Dom’s skin and made him whimper. “You're not getting it baby boy. You pissed me off, so now…” He purred, pressing down on Dom’s stomach until a small golden squirt stained his briefs.

“Shouldn't you piss on me ‘en? Not me on… me?” It wasn't that he was ashamed, he rarely was. They just hadn't exactly tried the kink in that way before. He'd fucked Kells so good he showered them both in cum and piss but Dom had never… but if it made his mate happy.

“It's hurting you. It's making you desperate. It's making you fucking red you need to let go so bad. You're such a little bitch aren't you? Which do you need more?” Colson asked, fisting his own cock to coat himself in slick. He rubbed the head of himself against his lover's hole and watched him squirm a little more before he pressed harder against his belly. “Which do you need more?”

“Y-you! Ya cock! Please?” Even with the almost tearful answer the older man thought Dom might be wrong about that. His toes were curled and his nails were digging into the palms of his hands. He was covered in sweat and biting his lip bloody.

The first press inside had the omega sweating too, he hadn't worked Dom open and the Alpha was tight. The vise-like grip of his inner walls was hard to fight but he swore at one point as he sunk home he could feel his swollen bladder. Maybe it was just the pressure of his hand. He slipped in inch by inch and gave the other a moment to breathe occasionally. Somehow the killer got even more pink and clenched as he bottomed out but when Dom opened his eyes again they were red and his pupils were blown. That was how the dominant knew his bitch was still having fun, his body might show stress and pain but his gaze promised pleasure.

“More? M-more? Fuck me?” Dom tried not to beg but he couldn't help pleading a little. He needed to be railed hard enough to bruise. Bleed. He needed to feel punished and claimed and loved.

Colson wrapped his hands around his lover's sides, just above his plush hips. His thumbs kept pressure enough to keep that need high but it gave him a better grip to thrust. His own hips angled up, his dick searching out both the boy's spot and to add more strain. He never promised to make it easy on Dom.

“Good boy.” He growled low, his hips rocking as his hands worked their way down the boy's legs. He held tight to his ankles and pressed up, adding even more weight until tears welled in the Alpha's eyes and he squirmed.

“D-da-mmm Daddy! Too much! Please? I can't-” Dom fought his own body with every panted breath but he was starting to realize he wasn't set up to win this. Kells wanted to watch him break before he allowed. He wanted to make a mess of his lover.

“Not too much. You can take it. Doing so good for me.” The omega purred, his own need building with his pleasure. He knew he could get off like this but he also knew it wouldn't be enough. It was never enough until he was full to bursting with Dom's cum. But first…

“N-n- fuck!” Dom refused to say no because he didn't mean it. It was just his gut reaction from being made to wet himself. The pressure was too much though and he was close to breaking. Too close. Too-

Colson bucked forward and grinded his dick deep and he held his mate's legs down until that first golden splash broke free of the boy's control. A soft sob escaped the killer along with it but Kells watched rapt as first his black briefs were soaked and then as it started dripping over his pale pink belly. One of his hands left Dom's ankle and pressed around the head of his cock and he moaned with his fiancé as a river started pouring between his fingers. He couldn't even thrust anymore, he was too wrapped up and his bitch was clenching so hard trying to hold back more. He did what he could, rolling himself and making sure to hit everything that drove the boy wild but it was all second as he watched him break.

“Push yourself up.” He demanded and Dom’s hands slapped the towel under him to help lift his ass further in the air. The golden drops started spilling down his stomach, filling his belly button, and painting his chest. He had been so full that it felt like he would never stop and with the way Colson was watching him he didn't want it to. He felt worshiped in that moment and loved in a way he didn't think he could ask for. He was seen and desired and fully taken care of. It was a strange juxtaposition to be getting that for pissing himself but his mate was a special breed.

As the spill started to slow Col pulled out to the tip and slammed himself home again. It forced another spurt free but the next twitch of Dom's cock the gold turned to pearly white and the boy cried out with needy mewls as his pleasure hit. Kells felt his desperation build to a breaking point as the coil in his belly pulled tight. It promised it wouldn't be quenched without- “Fuck wha-” Dom whined as he felt his omega's cock slip free. He felt the loss but it only took a moment to realize what the other needed. His ass dropped back to the now wet towel and his shaking hand scrambled to tug his underwear down. He barely got himself free when Col crawled up and over him and that tight wet heat was sliding down on his cock. He thought he was lucky to get fucked but now the older man was breaking his threat about Dom not getting to use his dick. He was the luckiest Alpha alive and he damn well knew it.

Colson groaned at the warm wet press of Dom's piss drenched chest against his own. The slap of their skin felt electric. His cunt welcomed his mate instantly but he could already feel Dom's knot popping. He knew what he was getting switching mid-orgasm and it was exactly what he needed. “Fuck me.” He demanded as their lips slammed together and their fangs clinked. He was pretty sure he tasted blood but he wasn't sure who's. They'd both bitten their lips when they fell before.

The Alpha obeyed his mate yet again, his arms wrapping around his lover tight. He felt sloppy open and he was sure he was still cumming but he had to make his lover see heaven. His hips pumped up, his knot pulsing but Kells met him thrust for thrust. He felt himself slip inside once- twice- and their bodies locked together as Colson broke for him. Slick showered over him, joining the mess and he had to stop the older man from trying to keep going. He held him down, their hips rolling through their rapture, their lips meeting in needy kisses and teasing bites.

It wasn't where Col meant for them to end up, he wanted to dominate his partner but he felt so loved in his strong arms. He never felt complete until Dom was filling him full and he felt like after everything he could finally breathe. “If you ever-”

“I won't. I swear. M’yours.” The killer vowed.

“I'll kill you myself.” Colson promised back. He couldn't be without the other but that was too saccharine to say.

Dom grinned, flicking his tongue over the bloody place on his partner's lip. “Good. You better.” He would expect nothing less.

“We can face shit together or not at all. And I'm not doing this without you.” Oops. He swore the bastard's jizz always made him say the sweetest things. It wasn't him, it was the bonding hormones and mental chemicals. He wasn't gooey. His instincts were.

“I love you too.” Dom couldn't help the smile on his face, he was still too drunk and happy. He grinned wider when his omega beamed and shook his head with a laugh.

“Yeah yeah. You're still fucking smashed aren't you?” He teased back.

“Mmm aye. Very. Not done wiv yous yet.” The boy giggled but it broke off in groan when he felt another wave of pleasure roll through him.

“I can feel that.” Kells laughed back. Sure they had an idiot after them but they had hours yet before he expected an answer. Not only was Dom not done filling him but neither was done with the other. They were so wrapped up in each other they didn't notice the stranger's phone going off on the table. The idiot boy messaging them to count down. It didn't matter anyway, they both knew they'd figure out how to stop him, as long as they stayed together and trusted in each other.

Author's Note/Tags: @iamnotanearthlingmotherfucker @hollywoodxwhore @jaxbreaker @fenoy7 @cole-way-iero28 if anyone wants tagged let me know 💛

Have some super naughty smut after all that plot 🤭 These boys are never done with each other. There might be a little more plot next but I'm sure they won't last long without needing each other again. After all, their cycles are coming soon 👀 Hope you're all still enjoying it! 🖤❤️‍🔥

[neuroticbookworm]

Step by Step Episode 8 Ramblings

Episode 7 Ramblings, here

Put is not even gonna let Pat say his piece? 2 minutes in and I'm already burning mad

"I haven't taken you for granted like before"

"I know, you've been really good to me" Oh Pat, you pathalogical people pleaser

I continue being impressed by this show showcasing how adults do and should handle relationships and everything that comes with it. This must be one of the most realistic breakup scenes in BLs. And it is done without compromising the emotions of the characters. Hats off, really

Jane is wearing two layers of pink. Our resident Tumblr color demon @respectthepetty has taught us that pink = love, so good to know that his feelings has remained unchanged or even intensified from last when we saw him

My god, Khun Jeng looks so fineeeeeeeee

And he's wearing a dark blue shirt underneath his neutral brown jacket. While Pat is in a dark blue cardigan. Interesting

Ohhhhhhh wow Jane is pissed and Jaab is too. The cat fight between these two is gonna be hilarious

Put, you insufferable snake, ya dumped. Stop misrepresenting facts

Jeng, how the fuck did you know? Are you really THAT perceptive?

Oh man, that is the worst takeaway you can ever have from a failed relationship

*jaw dropped* Oh Jeng is going for the jugular. Oh he's done playing games, he wants to fight

Oooooooooof. Put, you manipulative bastard

Oh it's still not over. Oh they're still going, holy shit, this is intense

Is that a threat, about coming out? Seriously, what the fuck

I CAN'T WAIT to read all the body language analyses y'all are gonna write on that scene. Woah, that really was something

Ae and Beam are here!

Well, Ae looks like a goddess, as usual. What else is new?

I love this scene and the commentary that comes with it. Keep your noses out of pregnant people's business, for fuck's sake! How hard is it to have some basic decency?

I love that Tae is calling out how quickly Jeng's mood changes from brooding to giddy and vice versa in this conversation.

We have a new stuffie. The shark is out and the tiger is in. YES I SEE IT AND I LOVE IT

Oh I'm sooo ready for this non-date date. I want the sweet, sweet fluff to drown me. Gimme all the blushing, all the eye contact, all the accidental brushing of fingers, GIVE IT TO ME

OH MY GOD, he planned the whole thing. He had people move chairs out of the way for aesthetics. This complete bitch (affectionate)

GUYS, THE FLIRTING, I know I said I can handle it, but this is too adorable ^^

Jeng just hung up on his brother in a flash, not even waiting for him to respond? Oh that's cold

Oh shit, Pat is drunk, again, Here come the truth bombs

Damn, Man Trisanu is nailing this. He is acting his ass off to show how restless Jeng feels before every almost-confession

This slowburn is gonna kill us all, honestly

Oh we are dancing, oh it's so gloriously awkward, oh make it stop

Jaab, my beloved, I've missed your melodrama. You look like a divorced sugar baby who won half the riches in the settlement, I love it

Jeng tells Pat he can be just a safe space for him, while Pat is sobbing on his shoulder about his ex. All while Jeng has been trying the whole day to confess his own feelings for Pat. Every atom of this man is a green flag, I swear

These drunk disaster gays, I love them so much

Pat, sweetie, no. Please, you must be joking. Don't tell me you didn't know, DON'T TELL ME YOU ARE THAT OBLIVIOUS!

Okay, now Pat has to rethink each and every one of their interactions to see if he has ever misled Jeng, or if Jeng has ever crossed his boundaries. And then recalibrate his feelings with this new information. Yeah, this could take a while.

I'm leaning more and more towards the possibility of a second season, or even a special episode, after the show ends. Because there is no way they can fit all the domesticity these characters deserve within the next couple of episodes.

Ahhhh I can't believe the slowburn is still not over. I love it and I hate it and I'm pretty sure this show has turned me into a sadomasochist.