#drug rehabs Indiana

[intheroomblog]

Explore Addiction Treatment & Drug Rehab Center in Indiana

If you or someone you know is seeking addiction treatment centers in Indiana, there are several resources that may offer assistance. Numerous alcohol treatment centers in Indiana provide treatment programs for overcoming drug and alcohol addiction. Detox, inpatient treatment, outpatient therapy, and additional support services are all offered by these drug and alcohol treatment centers in Indiana. Look into programs like MAT, addiction treatment for youth, and specific rehab options. To learn about the facilities' offerings, fees, and insurance alternatives, give them a call. Don't be afraid to ask for assistance from drug and alcohol rehab in Indiana.

[drugrehabscentersblog]

Indiana Drug Rehab Centers

Explore Indiana drug rehab centers for tailored recovery solutions at medium. Our comprehensive programs offer personalized treatment plans, detox support, and therapy to address substance abuse issues effectively. With compassionate care and evidence-based approaches, we're dedicated to guiding individuals towards lasting sobriety. Take the first step towards a healthier, addiction-free life with our Indiana rehab centers.

Know More -

[sunrise-recovery]

What types of addiction treatment services are typically offered by free rehab programs in Indiana?

Free Drug rehab in Indiana typically offer a range of addiction treatment services aimed at helping individuals overcome substance abuse and achieve long-term recovery. While specific offerings may vary, here are some common types of addiction treatment services that are typically provided:

1. Detoxification: Free rehab programs may offer medically supervised detoxification services to help individuals safely manage withdrawal symptoms during the initial stages of recovery.

2. Counseling and therapy: Various forms of counseling and therapy are typically provided, including individual therapy, group therapy, and family therapy. These sessions are designed to address the psychological and emotional aspects of addiction and help individuals understand the underlying causes and triggers of their substance abuse.

3. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT): CBT is a widely used therapeutic approach that helps individuals identify and change negative thoughts and behaviors associated with addiction. Through CBT, individuals can develop healthier coping mechanisms and acquire skills to resist cravings and maintain sobriety.

4. Peer support groups: Free rehab programs often incorporate peer support groups to provide a supportive environment where individuals can connect with others facing similar challenges, share experiences, and receive guidance from individuals who have achieved sustained recovery.

5. Education and life skills training: Many free rehab programs offer educational sessions to help individuals understand the nature of addiction, its impact on physical and mental well-being, and the importance of maintaining a healthy lifestyle. Life skills training may include workshops on stress management, relapse prevention, job readiness, and other essential skills for sober living.

6. Aftercare planning: Free rehab programs often assist individuals in developing a comprehensive aftercare plan to ensure ongoing support once formal treatment ends. This may involve connecting individuals with community resources, providing referrals to outpatient counseling or support groups, and offering guidance on building a strong support network.

7. Holistic therapies: Some free rehab programs incorporate holistic therapies such as yoga, meditation, art therapy, or mindfulness practices. These complementary approaches aim to enhance overall well-being, reduce stress, promote self-awareness, and provide additional tools for coping with cravings and relapse triggers.

[hickorytreatmentcenters]

Hickory Treatment Center at Indianapolis

Hickory Recovery Network and Hickory Treatment Centers – Indianapolis offers 28-day customized treatment plans, utilizing the best therapeutic modalities available. We provide detox services as well as a residential treatment program.

Address: 2926 N Capitol Ave, Indianapolis, IN 46208, USA Phone: 317-779-1088 Website: https://hickorytreatmentcenters.com/indianapolis-drug-alcohol-rehab

[shushmal]

steddie request! pre steddie during a pool day eddie feels cute aggression and bites the back of steve's shoulder and surprises him

It should be ILLEGAL, Eddie thinks, for Steve Harrington to allowed out into polite company, much less in a community pool where innocent eyes could gaze upon him. Objectively, sure, Eddie knows that those little pink swim shorts aren't any more scandalous that what anyone else is wearing today. Ted Wheeler is knocked out on a lounge chair with only a speedo. But it's Steve. And Eddie's doing his best to rehab his image in Hawkins, so drooling after the local Harrington prince wasn't going to help.

Never mind that it was Steve who drug Eddie out into Satan's crack that is Indiana summer in August. He'd made a good case about it, too—something, something, being seen doing good in front of all the moms at the community pool, something, something, Holly's birthday party, yada yada. Honestly, Eddie didn't hear most of it, lost in Steve's stupid, beautiful brown eyes.

What was Eddie going to say? No?? Be for real.

That was how Eddie found himself sat on a deck chair (thankfully one with an umbrella), in his jeans next to a cooler, handing little girls juice boxes and snacks when demanded of him.

Holly Wheeler must befriends with the entire elementary school, Jesus Christ.

Steve himself, in his aforementioned pink swim trunks, was playing as pool jungle gym and had kids crawling all over him. It helped a lot to keep Eddie from drooling after him, but didn't do a lot for Eddie's heart.

Worse than Steve being hot, was Steve being cute. Eddie couldn't take it. He was going to die.

Steve had one of the smaller kids perched on his hip, held safely up out of the splash zone, while the rest of the hoard took turns climbing up onto his shoulders and using him like a diving board, his free hand guiding them safely into the water as they jumped. It looked like hell to Eddie, but Steve was grinning ear to ear, rating each jump with a booming cheer that had all the kids screaming around him with each splash.

"Um, excuse me," snaps a little girl in front of Eddie. He glances down and feels like he's looking at a mini Erica Sinclair, her hands on her hips and scowling. A chilling sight.

"Whatcha need, shrimp?" Eddie sighs, flipping the cooler lid up to take another order. "We're out of red barrels, and our stock of blue is going fast."

She eyes him skeptically for a moment before her little shoulders slump. "Fine, I guess I'll take the blue."

"Here you go," he says, pulling the foil off for her since little wrinkled baby fingers have yet to manage it all day. "Now be gone with ye."

Treating him with another incredibly bitchy look for a third grader, she bounds off just as a shadow appears over Eddie. A wet arm hooks over Eddie's shoulders, just as Steve crashes into the deck chair beside him, too small for two nearly full grown men, the plastic creaking ominously. Steve is practically in Eddie's lap.

"Harrington, what the fuck," Eddie squawks, cold pool water soaking into his clothes because Steve is dripping wet.

"What the language, Munson," Steve says, still grinning, looking at Eddie with those brown eyes. His face is round and a little pink, and he's so close that Eddie can see the faint trail of summer freckles across his nose. He's so beautiful, and he looks so happy and excited to have Eddie's attention. "There's little ears—OW WHAT THE FUCK!"

Eddie opens his jaw and yanks his head back, almost as shocked with himself as Steve. He can taste pool water in his mouth. There's a line of pink teeth-marks on Steve tanned shoulder.

"Uh," Eddie says.

"Did..." Steve starts. He leans back a little, still half in Eddie's lap, to gape down at him. "Did you just... bite me?"

"Y-Yeah," Eddie breathes. "Whoops."

"Whoops?" Steve repeats, brows high on his forehead. "Why the hell did you bite me?"

"You're very bitable." Eddie's going to drown himself in the pool at this rate. "You're too cute. I had to bite you."

He watches as Steve's eyes narrow, watches as Steve begins to suss him out. Eddie's still too shocked with himself to do anything, can't even panic, because he's that much of an idiot and his brain has gone completely offline. Because Eddie bit Steve Harrington and then called him cute, Jesus Humphrey Christ.

Then Steve leans down, slowly, until his face is right in Eddie's, and an insane thought goes through Eddie's brain. I bit Steve Harrington, told him he was cute, and now he's going to kiss me.

Except Steve bypasses Eddie's face and lands his lips against Eddie's neck, where he then tries to take his own pound of flesh.

Eddie screeches.

Distantly, he recognizes what a weird blessing it is that they're at the community pool, surrounded half the elementary school, all of them screeching and screaming and splashing. Everyone is completely oblivious to whatever homosexual nightmare is happening to Eddie right now.

"You're pretty cute yourself, Ed," Steve says into the small space next to his ear. And then he's up and standing between one breath and the next. "We really gotta teach you some manners though," he says, grinning, before he turns and dives into the pool.

"Y-Yeah," Eddie says weakly in his absence. He can feel Steve's spit on his neck, rapidly drying the summer heat, the bite mark aching with promise.

[her-power]

Last Chance to Dance (Rockstar! e.m. x fem reader)

��🛑🔞18+++ MINORS DNI - YOU WILL BLOCKED🚨🛑🔞 TRIGGER/CONTENT WARNING (For entire series): Rockstar! Addict! Sweet! Mean! Eddie, smut, unprotected p+v, fluff, fingering (f receiving), masturbation, oral (m+f receiving), heavy drug use, descriptions of IV drug use, swearing, talks of anxiety, panic disorder, mental illness, talks of suicide

Summary: Modern Eddie + reader are early 30s. Eddie is the famous lead singer/guitarist of Corroded Coffin, who has gotten himself into legal trouble due to his antics and drug use. Eddie broke your heart many years ago and he receives a letter from you asking to meet to talk about what happened between you two so long ago. Secrets are talked about, mental walls are built and broken down. Most of this series will be in Eddie's POV. (I will also be putting song inspirations on each part 🤍)

Word Count: 5k

A/N: There will be a LOT of mentions of heavy drug use in this series. This series DOES NOT glorify the use of drugs. It is not cool, it is not fun, it is something that destroys people and everyone around them. I have loved and lost people I know to drug and alcohol use, a lot of what you read here is my own personal experience from what I have seen with my own eyes. I hope this series will spread awareness and will give anyone and everyone who reads this hope. If you or anyone you know is struggling with addiction, please know you are not alone, there is help out there.

The silence is almost deafening as I sit there in my dimly lit office, tapping my finger against the arm of the chair; the metal of my ring clinking as I stare at my therapist, Dr. Catherine Ryan, in front of me. She had a kind smile, but I wasn’t in the mood to talk today. 

“What’s bothering you?” She asks gently. 

I gaze at her, gnawing on the inside of my cheek. A stupid habit I formed when I stopped using six months ago. 

Let’s see, I’m tired of the noise inside my head that is constantly reminding me what a piece of shit I am. I’m lucky that my bandmates don’t hate my guts for the shit I put them through on tour when I was needle deep in a heroin fog and couldn’t remember the lyrics to a fucking song I wrote. My music career is only surviving because the world thinks we’re on a hiatus to write our next album when I actually did a stint in rehab and have court ordered mandatory therapy once a week. The only way I can have therapy is if she comes to my escape cabin in upstate New York and escorted in and out by a security guard. 

Oh, I also can’t stop thinking of you, the one whose heart I broke fifteen years ago back in Hawkins, Indiana because I was too scared to love or be loved. The same you who mailed me a letter that I received at my P.O. Box in Boston three days ago, that I haven’t opened yet and sits in my back pocket folded up, because I’m too much of a pussy to see what you have to say.  

“I don’t want to talk about it.” I tell her, taking a cigarette out of my pocket. I let the smoke fill my lungs and exhale the smoke away from her. 

“What do you want to talk about?” She asks, crossing her legs. I stare at her long legs, and my eyes scan up her body. She was curvy and thick, with a perfect set of tits and stunning green eyes. I almost laugh, if a beautiful woman like her was in my house six months ago, it wouldn’t take long before I’d have her bent over the back of my couch, fucking her until she couldn’t take it anymore. But I couldn’t do that anymore. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes, or whatever the fuck the saying is. 

“Eddie, this is mandatory therapy. I can’t help you if you’re not willing to talk. We’ve had four sessions so far, and the only thing we have talked about is your drug habit.” She seemed annoyed, and I couldn’t blame her.

“I’m only here because of my drug habit.” 

“Is that all?” 

She was testing me, and I smile at her, leaning my elbows against my knees. “You know, I bet you are really good at helping people and are able to get your patients to sit here and cry about their shitty lives or whatever it is people tell you. But I hate to break it to you, sweetheart, you’re not gonna get it from me.” 

“You keep up a guard. Defense mechanism, it’s common in people who have been hurt before.” She says, scribbling a note down. 

I narrow my eyes. “I sense judgment in your tone, and I’m not sure I care for it.” 

“It’s not judgement, Eddie. It’s an observation. I’m observing you.” 

I sit back against my chair and scoff, lighting up another cigarette with the ember of the one I just had. I inhale deeply. “I think our session should be cut early today.” 

She closes her notebook and gives you a kind smile. “If that’s what you want.” 

“I do.” I tell her. 

I get up from my seat as she stands, walking her to the door where the security guard waited outside. I may be an asshole, but I know how to be a gentleman. Chivalry isn’t dead when your name is Eddie Munson. She nods at me as she leaves, handing me her card for the time of the next session for next week and I close the door behind her. I stub out the cigarette in the ashtray and let out a deep sigh. I plop myself on the couch, hearing the crinkle of the letter in my back pocket and I lift my hips to pull it out. I look at the neat print on the front; seeing your handwriting brought back so many memories that I had forgotten about. 

Why would you send me a letter? Is it just to tell me how happy you’ve been these last fifteen years since I’ve been gone, that you’re married with children, thriving in your thirties? 

“Well, the only way to know is if you open the letter, dipshit.” I mutter to myself. I groan, shaking my head as I rip the letter open and unfold it. It was only two pages, but you had written a lot. 

 Hey, You’re a tough guy to find, being famous and all. I didn’t think this P.O. Box was real at first, but I ended up tracking down Gareth and he told me it was real. I can’t believe he still has the phone number he’s had since high school.  I don’t know why I’m writing you a letter, I guess I could’ve just texted you, he did give me your number, but I wanted this to feel more personal. Like when I’d write you those stupid folded notes in class.  I know it’s been a long time, and you’re probably thinking I’m absolutely insane, but I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you lately. There are so many things that I wanna say to you. There are so many things that were left unsaid, and I guess lately it’s been bothering me. You’re probably not even going to get this, so I don’t even know why I’m continuing to write.  I don’t want you to think that I hated you or have hated you this whole time. It would be easier to hate you, believe me, I’ve tried but I physically cannot have that kind of power over me. I’m proud of you, Eddie. You worked so hard to get to where you are, and you made your dreams come true. I knew you could.  I want to tell you I’m proud of you in person; to let you know that what happened in the past stays there and we can both move forward in a way. I mean, I just told you now. I know you’re really busy and I feel stupid now. But I will be in Boston in December, the week of the 18th while my aunt is down in Florida for the week, house sitting. Gareth had mentioned you and the band were taking a hiatus to focus on the writing and doing some self reflecting. I would love to see you, especially with the holiday season. 

It’s not every day you get to see the boy you’ve known since diapers be on the cover of Rolling Stone magazine, selling out stadiums. 

Please don’t feel obligated, though. 

I suddenly forgot how to swallow, and I almost choke on my own saliva. You had written your phone number on the bottom of the last page. I swing my legs onto the floor, taking my phone off the coffee table. I scroll to my contact list, and add your name, along with your phone number. 

I pause, my hands begin to shake, and I inhale deeply. 

“No no no, not now, not now.” Grimacing, I sit back on couch, closing my eyes as my stomach turns to knots and my chest feels like it was going to explode. I can feel the sweat bead at the back of my neck as the panic attack feels like it’s choking me out and I groan. I go into the drawer of the coffee table, pulling out the lorazepam pill bottle, taking a minute to open the cap because my hands were so sweaty. I throw the pill in my mouth, swallowing it dry and breathe in through my nose. 

This happens more often now, especially since being off dope, I had to learn how to deal with them like a normal thirty-four-year-old man. It took a lot of convincing for my doctors to give me the lorazepam, but apparently threatening to go and take a hot shot of heroin to kill myself was convincing enough for them to give me the lowest dose of the stupid pill. 

I close my eyes. Thinking back to how I got here; how I could’ve lost everything because of my own stupidity, because of my inability to slow down, because I took sex, drugs, rock and roll too literally. All because I refuse to let love into my soul and hold on tight. 

One year earlier

The dressing room walls echo with the moans of myself and...I don’t even remember her name. Sarah? Shelly? It doesn’t even matter. I only see the back of her head anyway; she was very blonde. I hold onto her hips tightly, slamming my cock in and out of her. She was screaming like a porn star, and I’m pretty sure she was putting on a show. 

“Oooooh, just like that baby. Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me. Oh goddd, you’re so fucking good.” She moans and I roll my eyes, slamming into her harder just to get her to shut up. I reach over to the coffee table to grab my tiny vile of cocaine, I pop open the cap, and pull out of her for a moment. She was still rolling her hips as I sprinkle the drugs onto her ass.

“Stop fucking moving.” I tell her, grabbing the plastic straw and snorting back the drugs into my airways. She moans again when she hears me snort another line off her, and I slam myself back into her. My head falls back in pleasure, the effects of the cocaine causing every single part of my body to pulsate, and I can feel my orgasm approaching. 

“Fuuuuck.” I moan, my rhythm getting sloppy, and she groans. 

“Cum inside me baby, cum inside me.” She moans and I immediately feel myself go soft. Fuck this. I stop moving and slide myself out of her, she turns to look at me, her mouth opened in a gasp. “Why did you stop?”

I take a cigarette out of my pack and light it. “Get out.” 

“What?” She snaps. 

“Get your shit and get the fuck out of my dressing room. Telling me to cum inside you, I know what you’re doing.” I take her dress off the floor and throw it at her. Her eyes narrow and she gets up from the couch, throwing the dress over her head. 

“You weren’t even that good, fucking junkie!” She yells at me, and I can’t help the laugh that escapes my lungs. She looked like a cartoon character. Her eyes wild, her hair a wild mess, her fake tits bouncing as she storms out of the room. I lean back on the couch, a little mad that I didn’t cum, but whatever, that’s what my hand is for. I don’t know why I invite these women back to my dressing room after every show. Most of the time, these women don’t even know the words to our songs, they just want to be able to tell their friends they fucked a rockstar.  I sigh, opening the vile and do another bump. I’m one hundred percent in love with heroin, but I’m an addict. Cocaine just takes the edge off when I need it to. I tie my hair back in a low bun, blowing my bangs out of my face. I stand, catching a glimpse of myself in the fluorescent lit vanity mirror. The lighting made me look terrible; I was thinner than normal. The ram skull tattoo across my abdomen looked discolored, but I know it was just the way the light was hitting it. I was losing muscle mass in both of my arms, but since tattoo sleeves covered both my arms, no one could notice. No one knew how bad it was getting with the dope; I honestly preferred to suffer in silence about it, but I knew they noticed. I would feel Gareth’s eyes burn into the back of my skull whenever I would escape to go into a bathroom, or immediately go into my hotel room to get started on my new supply. I felt terrible keeping it from him, he was my brother, my bandmate, but he didn’t need to worry. I was fine, at least that’s what I told myself. 

We had awhile before we hit the next city of the tour. The tour bus felt too crowded, too stuffy. We all decided it would make sense to hide out in a hotel for a few days before we got to Atlanta.  I requested my own room of course, the supply I just bought felt like it was burning a hole in my pocket. Isn’t that what they say about money? 

Money meant nothing to me; if I lost it all tomorrow, I wouldn’t care. That’s the beauty of this drug, you don’t have a care in the world once that shot courses through your veins. 

I lock the door to my room after saying goodnight and head into the bathroom. I pull my shirt over my head and undo the belt from my jeans. I set everything up on the table: fresh needle, the drugs, and water bottle cap.  It doesn’t take long for me to pull the dope into the syringe, at this point it’s like riding a bike for me. I sit on the floor against the bathtub, I wrap the belt around my left arm, pulling it tight with my teeth and clench my fist. I see the most perfect vein pop up in the bend of my arm; I have to be careful though, I can’t go to the same spot twice or else I’ll blow up my veins and then more people will notice.  I’ve always hated needles, isn’t that ironic? I’m thinking that as the tip of it pinches my skin and my thumb is on the trigger, slowly pushing it down.

“A spoon full of sugar makes the medicine go down…” I sing softly, feeling the sweet burn of the heroin flow like a tsunami in my veins. My eyes flutter close as the most beautiful feeling overcomes me; my head lulls back against the porcelain and I feel a smile grace my lips. 

A loud knock at my door startles me out of my high, and I’m pissed. 

“Hang on a second.” I mutter and awkwardly pull myself up, undoing the belt from my arm. I place the cap on the needle and toss it behind the doors under the sink. 

Knock knock knock knock knock

I toss my sweatshirt over my head, putting a cigarette to my lips. “Yeah, I hear you! Fuck, I’m coming.” 

I open the door to find Gareth standing there with his arms crossed, I light the cigarette and wave my hand, tilting my head at him. “Yeah?” 

“What are you doing?” He asks me. 

“What do you mean what am I doing? I’m not doing anything.” I inhale on the cigarette, and he continues to stare at me. If there was a God, I thank him for giving me brown eyes, because at least he wouldn’t be able to see how my pupils look like pinholes. “Do you wanna come in?” 

I move to the side, and he walks by me, I shut the door, locking it. 

“Do you want a beer or anything?” I ask him, going into the mini fridge, pulling out two, I could feel myself about to nod, but I quickly stand up, clearing my throat so I can at least look like I’m not fucked up. 

“No, I’m fine.” His eyes scan every inch of my room, the floor where my clothes were, Sweetheart laying on the foot of my bed. My necklace I always wore with the red guitar pick laid on the nightstand by the bed. I always take it off before I shoot up, I don’t know why, I think something is going to happen to it if I don’t, it means a lot to me. His eyes fix on my belt on the bathroom floor, he doesn’t say anything, but I know what he’s thinking. 

“Gareth, if you got something to say, man, just say it.” I tell him, leaning against the small table, I ash my cigarette into a coca cola can. 

He turns to me; he was still blessed with a baby face that I remember from school. “How bad is it getting?” He almost whispers.

“How bad is what getting?” 

“The drugs, man. Come on dude, I know you’re not stupid.” He sits across from me on the foot of the bed, gently moving Sweetheart over. 

I sigh. “Gareth, I’m fine. It’s not getting bad.”

He puts his head down, shaking his head. “Don’t fucking bull shit me, Eddie. I’ve known you for almost two decades. Have you even looked at yourself lately?”

I close my eyes, feeling a wave of anxiety hit my lower gut, and I force it to go away by not caring. “Don’t worry about me, man. I’m serious.”

“Of course, I’m gonna fucking worry!” He stands up, his face full of rage. “If you fuck up this tour, our entire music career is in the gutter! How many times have I had to bail you out when you’ve been coming down from a cocaine binge and are late to rehearsal? How many goddamn times have I had to convince cops not to arrest you when you’re inebriated beyond belief. It’s getting fucking old, man.” He towers over my 6-foot frame and again, I start laughing. 

His eyes widen. “Are you seriously laughing right now? 

“Yeah.” I chuckle. “I am, because it’s funny how you think I’m gonna be the one who’s gonna fuck up this tour. I built this band from the ground up, nothing and no one is gonna fuck that up.”

“Oh fuck you, dude!” He yells at me. “You built this? What happened to you saying this entire band was built on friendship, loyalty and fucking friends who play nerdy games? What happened to that Eddie?” 

“Dead.” I give him a sideways smile. “Dead dead dead.” 

He looks at me incredulous. “Wow. You’re an actual nightmare.” 

“You’re the one who decided to knock on my door.” I place the cigarette in the can, hearing it sizzle out. I cross my arms over my chest, already itching for another shot. “Anything else?” 

He scoffs, walking towards the door and stepping out. “No. Have a good night, Eddie.” 

“Yeah, you too!” I scream at his back as I shut the door, locking all the locks and kicking the bottom of it. Suddenly, the chair near the table gets a boot from me, followed by the lamp, the paintings on the walls. I smash the beer bottles against the windows, and when I’m finally spent, I collapse on the bathroom floor, digging out the needle. I’ll leave the hotel a couple hundred dollars to pay for whatever I damaged; I’ll hopefully remember to clean up tomorrow.

I’m pretty sure I put too much in it this time, because I’m riding something wild right now. My eyes are half lidded, my breathing is slow but it’s such a peaceful feeling.

“Makes the medicine go down…medicine go down…”

The beginning of that year was when shit started going downhill fast for me. Once I had gotten my panic attack under control, and I felt calmer, I sent you a text message, realizing that tomorrow was the 18th. I typed up, deleted, typed up, deleted, about six different times before finally sending you: Hey stranger, it’s Eddie. Pretty wild to hear from you. I’m currently up in my cabin in upstate NY, but if you are gonna be in Boston. I can make the trip. It would actually be awesome to see you. Hope you are well. 

I forgot how nervous you made me, even back then. You were such a kind, beautiful soul, who loved me and took care of me when I didn’t deserve it. I was so nervous all the time because I really loved you too, but I couldn’t…wouldn’t let myself feel it. You were the only woman in my life that knew me, and actually saw me. You were my best friend, always my partner in group activities in elementary school. It was us against the world the minute I kissed you for the first time when we were eighteen, and then it ended with me, burying my head in the sand, because I’m a fucking idiot. 

My phone dings and I see your name pop up.  Hey!!! Wow, your own cabin huh? Are you a mountain man or something this winter season? I’m sorry if my letter was all over the place, I really should’ve just texted you but, whatever. Here we are now. Yes! Let’s meet, I can give you a spot to meet for coffee? Unless you just want my aunt’s address, I don’t know how Boston is when it comes to famous people. 

I type up a message: Boston is one of those cities that is wild to play on stage in front of, but the people don’t give a fuck if you’re famous. Which is why I bought a condo there, I can live out some downtime in peace. Coffee sounds great. Just let me know a time when you are settled. 

You quickly respond: Ha! Boston is pretty rad. I’m already here, I got here a day early. I know you got a pretty long drive so we can meet the day after tomorrow if you’d like? Say around 10?

I type up that that time and date worked for me and begin packing a small suitcase to take with me on the trip. 

I honestly felt like I was dreaming all this; I get sober, you, a woman that was literally the one that got away because of my own fucking deep-rooted issues, comes back into my life and wants to see me? I feel like I’m living the Notebook. Except, the rated R version where Ryan Gosling is an ex-junkie, who doesn’t build houses, or used to blow cocaine off a woman’s asshole. 

I groan, I already know I’m gonna fuck this up again. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The coffee shop you chose was a place I’ve never been before, it seemed newer, and no one batted an eye when I walked in. I take off my sunglasses and scan the place. It was quaint, quiet, with rustic undertones but mostly modern. 

“Eddie?”

My eyes immediately fix on you, sitting in the back booth by a small window, and I feel my heart flutter down to my stomach. God, you were stunning. Your eyes still shone that sparkle in them, your smile was just as adorable as I remembered, especially the dimples in your cheeks. I whisper your name and find myself quickly walking towards you. You wrap your arms around my shoulders, and I let out a deep sigh, almost lifting you off your feet, as I hug the curves of your waist, burying my face into your shoulder. We stay like that for a while, you giggle into my chest, telling me you couldn’t believe it was me and that I was here. I didn’t want to let go, but I knew I had to. We pull away and you are still smiling, looking into my eyes, you lift your hand to gently curl your fingers into my hair and I smile at you. 

“I love that you still kept this hair.” You say, shaking your head, looking like you’re still trying to process that I’m standing in front of you. 

I gently cup your face, swallowing hard, studying you. You turn your cheek into my hand, and I slowly remove it. You nod for me to sit, and I scoot over into the booth, peeling off my leather jacket. I still stare at your face; I couldn’t believe you were real. The server comes over to take our coffee order, I get mine hot with triple espresso and a shot of caramel, and you get an iced coffee with a shot of vanilla and almond milk. I smile, you’ve kept the same order since you started drinking coffee. 

Your eyes fix on mine, and I smile at you, sipping my coffee. “You haven’t changed.” I tell you softly. 

“My back will have to disagree with you.” You laugh, spinning the straw with your finger. “You haven’t either, aside from more tattoos.” 

I smile; remembering that you were there for most of my smaller ones. I had convinced you back then to get a large tattoo that started from under your breast, all the way down to the top of your hip; that was always my favorite part of you to taste. I cross my legs, feeling a tingle in my lower belly. Fucking pervert. 

I notice a few finger tattoos on your right hand, and I nod to them. 

“I told you they were addicting.” I laugh. “How many do you have now?” 

You laugh, a sound so beautiful to my ears, I want to cry. “Sixteen? Seventeen?”

My eyes widen and I laugh. “No way! Let me see.” 

You meet my eyes, your face turning crimson. Of course, there were hidden ones, I immediately feel like I overstepped and go to apologize when you speak. “It’s a lot of random ones, all over. I added some stuff to the rib piece.” That one you show me, you lift up your sweater, and I feel my dick twitch. 

Pervert. Dirty pervert. It’s been fifteen years, put your dick away. 

The cluster of wildflowers that started from your ribs to your hip had added roses to different spots they ended up entwining into a beautiful ivy vine, before falling off towards your back. I notice the bottom of a small piece on your sternum, and you pull your sweater back down. 

“That’s beautiful.” I tell her, smiling. “What have you been doing these last fifteen years?” 

“Well, I moved out of Hawkins.” I smile at that, she always wanted to leave that place. “I moved to Maine, I bought myself my own little cabin in the woods. I’m a nurse at the local hospital there.” 

My heart practically bursts with pride, and I laugh. “See? You don’t have to be famous to have your own cabin. That’s wonderful, I know that was always a dream of yours, becoming a nurse.”

“Yeah, it’s fulfilling. Heartbreaking 99% of the time but fulfilling.” Your eyes fix on mine again, and we just share comfortable silence as we stare at one another. 

“Your eyes are sad.” You say suddenly. 

“What?” I snap myself back down to my reality; it was easy to get lost in your eyes. 

“You look like you’ve been through hell and back again. Sorry for being blunt, I’m just sorry for whatever is bothering you.” Your eyes show me that same familiar kindness, and I smile awkwardly at you.  

“I’m okay.” I tell you, only half lying. 

You place your hand over my ringed fingers, gently entwining them. I stare at our hands, and gaze back into your eyes. “What am I doing here?” I whisper to you. I can feel my heart do another back flip, and my brain screams at me to get up and run because I can still feel your love. 

Your fingers gently move over the bumps on my rings, and your eyes dart to mine. You spot the small silver chain around my neck, half tucked in my shirt, and you lift your hand to gently pull out the red guitar pick. You finger the plastic and smile. “Wow. You kept this all these years.” 

“Of course, I did. I never take it off.” Except when I used to shoot dope, but that’s beside the point. I swallow the lump in my throat. “Sweetheart, why am I here?” 

You sigh, giving me a sad smile. “Would it be weird if I said that I really fucking miss you? And for the last fifteen years, I haven’tstopped thinking about you.” 

Heart exploding. 

My breath hitches and my eyes widen slightly. “But…I hurt you…and I left—"

“I know, I know you did, but” you take my hand again. “Eddie, we were best friends. Since before we could even say those words. You were so important to me. You’re still important to me. How could we throw that away?” 

I stare at you, reading your face, gazing at the shape of your mouth, the way your hair falls in waves, the curves of your breasts. I squeeze my eyes shut, pulling my hand away from yours. “You wouldn’t think that anymore once you know what I’ve done, who I’ve become.” 

“Then tell me.” You say softly, your eyes dart from my lips, to my eyes. I stare at your lips, remembering how perfectly they fit against mine, how soft they were. How eager you would be when your tongue would slip into my mouth, deepening the kiss, your soft moans vibrating against my mouth as I carefully push myself inside you. 

I meet your eyes; you’re waiting for me to say something. I shake my head, running my hands over my hair. I sigh. “How long you got?” 

You look at your wrist at a fake watch. “About a week.” I laugh and lean back in my seat, sipping my coffee. 

Yeah, I missed you too. 

*~*~*~*~*~*

Special shout out to: @trixyvixx @originalstar1 @iggyizalien @themorticians-world

& so many of you who supported my last series.

I wouldn’t continue writing if it weren’t for you guys giving me the motivation to do it. Love you all!

[artiststarme]

Oblivious Eddie

This is kind of the opposite of @ladykailitha's current story. It turned out a lot longer than I anticipated lol. Featuring the screaming match that you guys voted on! I hope you guys like it and please share your thoughts in the comments!

~*~*~*~

Steve was at his wit’s end. Things were now back to normal in the summer after the supernatural happenings of the Upside Down in the spring. The older teens had graduated from high school (Eddie included), the younger kids were off at camp or work or rehab respectively, and Steve was working his usual shift at Family Video. 

He was alone today since Keith was out of town on vacation and Robin was touring the campus at Indiana State. He was bored out of his mind. The entire day, he’d had a mere four customers with plenty of time to rewind the returned tapes, organize the shelves in a way Robin would hate, and take a variety of magazine quizzes. He now knew that his spirit animal was a golden retriever, Tom Cruise would date him for his personality, and that his zodiac sign would find fortune in the next month. 

However, if something interesting didn’t happen in the next ten minutes, he was going to do something drastic like pull his hair out or something. As the minutes ticked on, he started getting worried. Steve prided himself on being a man of his word and he made a decision which meant he had to stick to it. But did it count if it was a thought to himself? Would he have to pull his hair out by the clump to prove a point to his own brain? Maybe he-

His spiral was cut off by the jingle of the door’s bell. Steve let out a sigh of relief, “Welcome to Family Video, is there anythi- Eddie! Hey man, what’s up?”

Eddie had gotten a part-time job at Thatcher Tire and was trying to bring in some money from work of the legal variety. He said it was time to make money like an honest man and develop the good habits of the working class. Steve thinks that Hopper threatened him about the drug dealing and Eddie had no choice but to abide by his rules because he was the one who cleared his name in the media and with the cops. Either way, Eddie should be at work but instead he was walking straight towards Steve with a swish to his hips. 

“Heya Big Boy, guess what.”

“What?” Steve asked in curiosity. He didn’t know what would make Eddie so happy but his face was nearly splitting with the force of his beaming grin. 

“I got a call from a concert venue in Indy and they want Corroded Coffin to perform! They said that my notoriety from Spring Break could work as publicity and bring in more people. They want us to play this weekend!” Eddie was practically jumping up and down in excitement. 

Steve hopped the counter in order to envelop Eddie in a hug, “congratulations man! What did the kids say? Are they excited for you too?”

Eddie pulled back slightly, just enough to place his hand on Steve’s shoulder and look him in the eye whilst pulling a strand of hair from its position stuck in his mouth. “The kids? I don’t know, I came directly here to tell you.”

The comment in Eddie’s earnest tone caused butterflies to flutter in Steve’s stomach. He wanted to tell him first? That’s so sweet. Then he shook his head, it wasn’t sweet. It was just a dude telling his bro some exciting news. That’s all. 

“They’re going to be thrilled, Eds! You’re going to do great, I wish I could see it.” 

“That’s kinda why I’m here. Would you, Steve Harrington, do me the honor of watching me perform the most metal concert ever in a dingy venue in Indy this weekend? I’ll be honest with you, I’m a little nervous and having you there would make me really happy.” Eddie looked at him with the biggest puppy dog eyes he could muster, trying to persuade Steve to go. And honestly, he didn’t even have to. As soon as he had told Steve about the gig, his mind started thinking over blackmail he could use to get Keith to cover his shift. 

But, as he looked into Eddie’s pleading eyes and pouty lips, all he could think about was how much he wanted to kiss him. Which… what the fuck?! Steve wasn’t gay, he liked boobies! He still liked boobies! But now he thinks he liked the picture of Tom Cruise in the magazine from earlier and maybe Matthew Broderick on the movie poster over there and definitely Eddie, fuck. Steve needed to have a mental breakdown, STAT. 

“Fine, yes, I would be honored to go with you. Now, get out of here and tell the kids. They’re going to be thrilled,” Steve said as quickly and nonchalantly as he could muster in the face of his fast-approaching sexuality crisis. 

“Yay! Thanks Stevie, I swear you’re going to love it. I’ll see you tomorrow for movies and beer at mine, right?” Eddie asked over his shoulder while walking to the door. 

Steve felt like he was being strangled as he watched Eddie’s ass walking away, “yep, I’ll be there. See you later, Alligator!”

The second Eddie’s van drove out of the lot, Steve was rushing to lock the door and turn the closed sign. He needed to have a breakdown in peace. He slid down the wall of the disgusting Family Video bathroom and let the pent up sobs explode out of him. He knew he was freaking out over nothing but he couldn’t help it. It felt like in the few minutes it took for Steve to realize he liked guys, his entire world had changed. He was an outsider now, a queer, a freak. Deep down, he knew there was nothing wrong with being gay. Love is love. But why him?

Honestly, this wasn’t the worst thing he’d gone through. Yeah, he couldn’t be open with his love for another dude without being targeted which sucked. But he fought literal monsters with a bat and came out of it relatively unscathed. So this obviously wasn’t the end of the world. 

Steve tried to think of what Robin would say in this moment but couldn’t come up with anything. He felt a rush of irrational anger at her because of it. Why did she choose to tour a college campus now? She was already planning on leaving him behind and now she missed his crisis when she was supposed to be there with him? Ridiculous, some platonic soulmate she was. 

After another several minutes of freaking out, he started to calm down. This wasn’t an awful thing despite his initial thoughts. He knew Eddie was gay after one two many beers and a miniature freak out on Eddie’s part. And he knew his friends should be okay with it. And Eddie was amazing, they went through the same things, and they’ve bonded over their matching bat scars. Looking back, maybe that’s why Steve hasn’t been able to get a girlfriend in months… because he like-likes Eddie!

A plan started to form in Steve’s mind. He was going to woo Eddie and show him what it would be like to have the full ‘Steve Harrington Dating Experience’. He’d flirt, take him on dates, the whole shebang. And when Eddie inevitably fell for him, they could be boyfriends. With the plan in mind and the crisis averted, Steve left the bathroom, opened the door to the shop, and continued plotting for the rest of his shift. 

This would be a piece of cake. 

~*~*~*~

This was much harder than Steve had originally anticipated. He did not consider how utterly unobservant Eddie was or how oblivious Eddie would be to his affections. Steve had been flirting with this fucking guy for a month now and he was no closer to making him his boyfriend. 

He’d started smooth the night after his breakdown when he and Eddie watched movies and smoked weed in his trailer. Steve had given Eddie a compliment on his outfit, brought beers, and rested his arm on his shoulder during one of the scarier movies. What did Eddie do? Nothing! Steve thought he might’ve seen the barest hint of a blush when he wrapped his arm around him but it was gone before he could check to make sure. So he vowed to spend more quality time with him to be more obvious. 

The next time was at Eddie’s concert. Steve drove Eddie’s van with Eddie and the rest of the van the entire way to Indy. During the drive. They kept up conversation about metal music, summer plans, and the kids. At one point of the drive, Steve straight up grabbed Eddie’s hand and intertwined their fingers. Eddie didn’t even break his train of thought and continued speaking, rubbing his thumb along Steve’s knuckles. Steve couldn’t even focus on listening as if Eddie’s thumb rubbing circles didn’t make Steve want to stick his fingers in his mouth. Physical touch was also not affecting his guy. 

He tried words of affirmation next and those didn’t work either. His flirts initially started small. He would compliment Eddie’s clothes, his hair, or the things he liked. Then they escalated to comment on his character, his personality, and ‘how adorable he was’. Yesterday, Steve literally told him that his ass looked great in his black jeans but would look better out of them. That statement made Eddie’s jaw drop and he let out a loud guffaw before continuing his conversation like Steve hadn’t just implied that he wanted to see his bare ass. Son of a bitch. 

He was trying out acts of service when Eddie called him out. Steve had been doing the dishes at the Munson trailer while he waited for Eddie’s shift to end when he came in. And he came in hot. He slammed the door behind him and waved his hands around in flailing outrage. 

“Harrington, what the actual fuck! What are you even doing? You’re so fucking confusing!” He screamed as he saw Steve scrubbing at a stain on a white cutting board. 

Steve whipped around to look at him and narrowed his eyes. He was the confusing one? He’d been flirting with this dumbass nearly every day for a month and getting nowhere. “I’m confusing? That’s rich coming from you.”

Eddie blinked in shock before his lips pulled back in a snarl. “First of all, nothing about me is rich. Second of all, yes it’s you that’s confusing! You’ve been fucking flirting with me for weeks and no you’re doing my uncle’s dishes! That’s confusing.”

“Why is it confusing? I’m doing the dishes because you weren’t home yet and I needed something to do. I’m flirting with you because I like you. What’s confusing?” Steve was legitimately confused at this line of questioning and he really didn’t understand why Eddie was yelling. 

“You like me? Newsflash- you’re straight. You’re the straightest person that I have ever met. I don’t know why you keep flirting with me or what angle you’re trying to play here but I’m not interested in being your experiment, Harrington.” Eddie yelled at him, his finger pointing at Steve accusingly before moving to hug himself in self-comfort.   

Steve saw his discomfort but elected to act defensively and yell back at him. “I’m not straight, I never said I was and you never asked! I like both and it’s really shitty of you to try and tell me who I like when you have no idea what’s going on!”

Eddie opened his mouth to talk but Steve plowed on, “your whole schtick is nonconformity and sticking it to the fucking man but you draw the line at me liking guys and girls? Maybe I don’t like you as much as I thought I did. You’re obviously just as rude and judgmental as everyone else. And you’re welcome for the dishes, fucker.”

Eddie grabbed his arms as he went to move past. “Harrington, Steve, Stevie. I’m sorry, please just listen to me. Steve!”

Steve jerked his head to the side to glare at him. “What?”

“Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell at you or not be appreciative of you washing our fucking dishes. I just, I didn’t know you liked both and I was losing my mind the past few weeks because I couldn’t figure out if you were flirting with me or if it was just you being a good friend or if you were playing a prank or something. I’m sorry and I do appreciate you,” Eddie was biting his lips nervously and his hand was still wrapped around Steve’s upper arm. He looked earnest and like he genuinely regretted his actions. 

Steve sighed, “I’m sorry too, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable-”

“I’m not uncomfortable! I was just really confused and I didn’t know what was happening. But uh, I like you too.”

Steve’s eyes met Eddie’s. “You do?”

“Hell yeah, man. You were my gay awakening in middle school. That’s why I’ve been so frustrated this past month. I didn’t know if I was imagining it or if I actually had a shot,” Eddie chuckled. 

Steve stepped closer to him and put his hand on the back of Eddie’s neck. “You definitely have a shot.”

And then, Steve pulled Eddie’s face closer to his own and their lips smashed in a kiss. Eddie groaned as their teeth gnashed in the bruising kiss. When they finally pulled apart, they pressed their foreheads together and breathed in the same air. Steve whispered, “you were my gay awakening too.”

Eddie’s answering cackles were so loud, Max came over to tell them to shut the hell up. She got a free front-row seat to their liplock and let out a scream so high-pitched that the window glass quivered before running back to her trailer. On the bright side, they wouldn’t have to come out to the kids.

@doubleb11 @nburkhardt @zerokrox-blog @newtstabber @i-less-than-three-you @carlyv @straight4joekeery @trippypancakes @pyrohonk

[beardedmrbean]

Chrissy Reifschneider had just left rehab to treat her heroin addiction in 2017 when she started taking tianeptine, popularly dubbed “gas station heroin." The 41-year-old from Alabama was struggling with low energy, so a family member who worked at a gas station recommended she try the pills. 

Within days, Reifschneider was hooked, and three dark years cruised by. Now four years clean, Reifschneider reflects on the deception that contributed to her tianeptine addiction and the overwhelming shame that followed. It's a trend that addiction medicine experts say shines a sobering light on the ongoing mental health crisis that's driving people to "easy" solutions amid widespread healthcare accessibility issues in the U.S.

“I thought well, I'm not sticking a needle in my arm, so I literally convinced myself that I wasn’t a drug addict until I realized I didn't recognize who I was anymore,” Reifschneider said. “It's crazy to think that these gas station pills just controlled me. I was ashamed because I'd rather people know I was shooting up heroin than actually spending all this time and money on over-the-counter (drugs).”

Tianeptine is prescribed as an antidepressant in some European, Asian and Latin American countries, but it’s not approved for any medical use in the U.S. Still, companies are marketing and selling tianeptine products as dietary supplements typically in pill and powder form, claiming it can improve brain function and treat depression, anxiety, pain and even opioid use disorder. 

Tianeptine has been banned in Alabama, Florida, Georgia, Indiana, Kentucky, Michigan, Mississippi, Ohio and Tennessee.

Reifschneider used to take five pills every four hours, which she said gave her enough of a “warm, fuzzy buzz” without making her feel clammy or nauseous, similar to the effects of doing too much heroin, she said. The brand she purchased recommends two capsules daily “or as needed,” and advises against exceeding three capsules in a 24-hour period. 

She started to lose her hair and lots of weight; had auditory hallucinations; developed paranoia surrounding electronics, at times using 10 cellphones at once; and began to convince herself that she was “better off dead.” Reifschneider would even chat with gas station employees about how dangerous the pills were: “I was silently crying out for help.” 

After several unsuccessful stays in rehab, Reifschneider quit “cold turkey” and entered a withdrawal state for the next six months, which she said felt similar to but lasted longer than her withdrawal from heroin and fentanyl. Today, she continues to “feel like a 15-year-old in my brain,” alluding to her debilitating memory problems. “It’s one of my more shameful things,” she said.

Poison control cases involving tianeptine have increased nationwide, from 11 total cases between 2000 and 2013 to 151 cases in 2020, the FDA says. Many poison control calls often involve severe withdrawal symptoms, such as agitation, vomiting and diarrhea, because people typically consume higher doses than those prescribed in other countries, according to a 2018 CDC report.

Dr. Holly Geyer, an internal medicine physician specializing in addiction medicine with the Mayo Clinic, said fear of withdrawal and the depression that follows can contribute to addiction to a variety of substances. 

“These often aren't people who are chasing a high. They're just trying to feel normal, and if there's a drug out there that helps them curb that appetite, they're probably going to take it until it as a solution becomes the problem,” Geyer said. “These people are trapped biologically, mentally and spiritually. It's a horrible situation to be in, and I can tell you tianeptine does not let them out of it.” 

Shame and stigma prevail among addiction recovery circles 

Since Reifschneider joined social media to share her tianeptine experience, neighbors and friends have confided in her with their own struggles with the supplement. “It was a very dark secret we all kept in our recovery circle because it was so shameful,” she said. “We all felt better about ourselves because we weren’t doing the worst of the worst.”

Aaron Weiner, an addiction psychologist, says that mentality is “completely reasonable” considering the stigma and “traditionalism” that still weighs on drug use in general. “There’s a very intense mental health burden in this country right now,” he said.

Tianeptine is marketed as a supplement, but it’s really an opioid receptor agonist. That means it binds to the same receptors in the brain that heroin, fentanyl and other opioids do, causing similar euphoric and addictive effects by hijacking the body’s dopamine system. So when people use tianeptine amid their recovery journey to cope with withdrawal or other lingering effects, judgment frequently follows.

“In a lot of recovery circles, the goal is complete abstinence from all intoxicating substances,” Weiner said. “In this scenario, some people may assume they’re substituting one drug for another, and say they’re not really sober.”

Similar judgment occurs among those taking FDA-approved medications for opioid use disorder (MOUD), including methadone, buprenorphine and naltrexone — some of which are opioids themselves. Mounting evidence shows that they reduce opioid cravings and withdrawal symptoms, and block their euphoric effects, Weiner said, but don’t make people “high” or cause withdrawal when dosed properly. 

Although MOUD use has grown by more than 100% over the last decade, nearly 90% of people living with opioid use disorder are not receiving these medications, according to a 2022 study published in the International Journal of Drug Policy. Experts say stigma is partly to blame. 

“One of the greatest problems we have in this country is that of stigma; we label people, then throw them out with their diagnoses,” Geyer said. “So when many of them turn to MOUD, they experience equal amounts of stigma and are led to think that no one could yell at them or be offended if they use supplements like tianeptine that they think are safer.” 

"It kills me to know this is still out there"

Reifschneider said she visited a doctor who specializes in addiction medicine two times for help to detox from tianeptine, but neither attempt was successful.

“The doctor had no idea what these pills were, but he wanted to help me because he could see my desperation,” Reifschneider said. “I was terrified to come off of them alone, so I didn’t know what to do.” 

She ultimately detoxed herself, but this lack of awareness and access to proper treatment, Geyer said, is what deters people away from evidence-based treatment and attracts them to the illicit market.

Data show that nearly 50% of counties in the U.S., don’t have MOUD medication providers and 32% don’t have any specialty substance abuse treatment programs at all. 

“There's not a whole lot of attention paid to tianeptine because it’s one of many drugs that you could find at gas stations these days that are not technically outlawed but certainly not beneficial,” Geyer said. “The big name drugs out there like fentanyl is where the money has historically been in this industry, so that's where most treatment approaches have focused.”

After years of rehab, Reifschneider said she wants to lay low and just live a normal life, but knowing that tianeptine is still being sold on gas station shelves weighs on her.

“I'm honestly grateful that there's been more awareness, but it kills me to know this is still out there,” she said.

[rachellaumbrella]

death

9/23/2024

I guess I made a tumblr to use as a diary, it seems like a lot people do. I would just journal but sometimes that doesn't always seem 100% private. I really don't know what to write either, I thought about writing about past life events. Maybe help myself work through stuff or unburden myself.. Ill write about my mom. She passed away in 2023. Actually 2 days after my 30th birthday. Shitty, I know. The last day I seen my mom was on my birthday, she would make whatever i wanted for dinner and always made me a cake. She wasn't feeling well because she had a cold & a ear ache, She kept asking if I was happy & okay cause she felt bad that she didn't feel well and felt like she didn't do enough. I was happy, I felt bad & even told her before if she wasn't feeling well, we can have my bday dinner another day. She insisted we still have it that day, looking back, I'm happy we did. The following day, her and my dad went grocery shopping. My bday was on Friday and she passed Sunday morning. So she went shopping Saturday, in case anyone is reading this & to better understand the timeline. On my bday, I told her I would be over Tuesday and if she still wasn't feeling well, I would take her to the doctor.

Back Story: My mom wasn't in poor health but she wasn't working due to having hip problems, making it difficult to walk around. She has always been in the service industry, either as a waitress or bartender. My mom has struggled with addiction to drugs and alcohol majority of her life, she got sober from drinking when i was in 3rd grade. She stayed sober for awhile but eventually began drinking again because like I said, she has always worked in bars & restaurants. Anyone who knows addiction, its not the best ide. a for a alcoholic to work in a bar. She never became sober from pain killers during this whole time, I didn't this till I was a adult. I'll get more into this another time. When she stopped working, I went over a lot during the day to keep her company and to drive her to doctor appointments or whatever she needed to do. In this time, I became closer to my mom than I ever had before. Due to her addiction, we didn't have much of a mother-daughter relationship or the one I wanted to have. I wasn't working at this time because I was taking care of my niece and nephew because my sister in law was struggling with her own issues at this time, again another story for another time.

Several months before her death, she had her hip replaced. The surgery went very well & her rehab was great. Due to insurance and her surgeon wanted to make sure she was in best shape for surgery, it took some time from the time she stopped working to having the surgery. Because it took so long, she was putting her weight on her other hip which wasn't already in the best of shape. After so much time, the doctor said basically, he couldn't even fit a hair in her hip joint, which means it was bone on bone. The week after my bday, we were going to the doctor to get the surgery scheduled for the other hip. My mom had her own mental health struggles through her life which led to self medicating and which lead to addiction. She was on several medications for mental health and she was on a drug for addiction opiates. She was on that for 10 years, maybe less. I don't think that's normal, I'm not a doctor so who am I to say, right? I think I'll write more about her addiction in another time. I think I'm getting side tracked haha.

So I have dinner with my family Friday for my birthday. Saturday, my parents go grocery shopping and spend the day at home. My bday is in January in Northwest Indiana so its very cold. My husband & I go to dinner Saturday night for my bday, he likes to do something just us for my bday plus it was my 30th so we went to a nice place. Sunday morning, I wake up, I don't feel right... Not like sick or anything just felt like something was off. I got up and went to lay on the couch and put on the TV. For some reason, which to this day I do not know why I left my cell phone on my nightstand. Which isn't something I normally do. I end up drifting back off to sleep and I woke to my husband talking, it sounded like he was just woken up. I heard him say my dads name so I sat up. He came out into the living room and handed me the phone. I don't remember if it was his phone or mine. I do recall looking at my phone after and seeing I had 8 missed calls from my dad. My phone was on silent so I never heard it. I never heard my dad scream and cry like that, he kept just saying, "she's dead Rachel, she's dead". It didn't register with me at the moment, I just looked at my husband and said, "I need to go, something is wrong with my mom". My husband already knew what was going on so we got our coats & left. I live about 30 minutes from my parents home. I don't remember the drive very much besides my aunt calling to see where I was. When I got there, there was so many cars there. My moms sisters(who live 45 minutes away) were there along with their husbands and one aunt brought her kids too. It was a lot to walk into. My dads brother & wife(my uncle & aunt) were also there. My dad wouldn't let the funeral home take my mom or move her until I got there. I was asked if I wanted to see her before they took her, I really didn't know how to answer or feel about it. I guess it took over a hour for anyone to show up and move her. So my mom was laying on the floor while everyone was showing up. The funeral home, was in the middle of putting her on a gunnery as I arrived. Like I said, all of this wasn't really registering with me or what happened or what was happening. I went to see my dad first and was stopped because they were taking my mom out, I turned around and seen my mom in a body bag. Then was asked if I wanted to see her or say bye before they took her. I didn't want to. I didn't see her. Which I think was for the best, I didn't want my last memory and seeing my mom for the final time in my childhood home was of her dead. My last memory was on my birthday, her alive giving me hugs, kisses, telling me "happy birthday", and asking if I was happy. Its bitter. I don't look forward to my birthday anymore. My mom passed in January of 2023, so as I write this, it been almost 2 years. That whole day was a lot. I was annoyed with my family for even being there. My moms sisters quit speaking to her for several years. They only recently started speaking again because my grandmother had to go into the hospital for a fall and the doctors said she couldn't live on her own anymore so we had to go through all her belongings and move her into assisted living. My mom was aware she wasn't the best sister to them due her addictions. She was trying to mend those relationship's at the time. I just wanted everyone gone so I can process all of it, My sister was on the phone the whole time, calling everyone to let them know what happened. My sister is much more social than I am. I barely use any social media, I don't post really anything about my life around 2 years or more. My dad was crying a lot and blamed himself for not getting up sooner, in his head, if he got up sooner, he would seen her on the ground and could of got her help.

My dad didn't want a autopsy done because he didn't want anyone to hurt her and cut her. I don't know what actually caused her death. If the death appears to be natural causes, the corner doesn't even take the body, you have to find a funeral home and have them come. Which I didn't know, you'd think there would be things in place so the family doesn't have to figure that out within moments of a loved one passing. I don't think her cold had much to do with her death. I just know it was natural causes, so it could be heart attack, stroke...I guess whatever is in the realm of natural causes. I was angry and so sad for such a long time because it wasn't fair, why would she pass right after my birthday... Just grief.

Her service was really nice. A lot more people showed up, way more than we expected and planned for. It was too overwhelming, I didn't want to talk to everyone and be asked what happened , I couldn't tell them. I just tried to avoid everyone as much as possible. I never thought about that before. I've been to more than my fair share of funerals before and it is just the worst, standing there & repeating the same things over & over to everyone who comes up to you. Its almost torture. The funeral home did a wonderful job and so helpful. My mom loved pajama sets. She liked to me comfortable and cute. We decided to put her in set of her favorite pajamas. She wore a pink long sleeve shirt and the pants were grey and pink. If you didn't knwo, you'd think she was just in a regular outfit. I don't know the correct name but the lady who dressed her and did the make up did a great job. Like I said, I've been to a lot of services and a lot of the time, the person doesn't look like them anymore. My mom looked like she was just asleep. I couldn't touch her. I never been able to touch anyone in a casket since I was a kid. The first time I did, the body was hard and cold. I didn't understand why the person felt that way. As I got older, I understand it but I just couldn't bring myself to hug & kiss my mom while she was in the casket. I don't know if that makes me a bad person or not.

[grovetreatmen]

At The Grove Estate in Peru, IN, we understand that taking the first step toward recovery can be challenging. That's why we are here to offer a compassionate and supportive environment, tailored to your individual needs. Our focus is on providing top-quality care that addresses both substance use disorders and the underlying issues that often accompany them, such as mental health challenges and trauma. Our approach is holistic, ensuring that every aspect of your well-being is considered during your journey to recovery.

🌿 Personalized Addiction Treatment At The Grove Estate, we offer a range of services designed to help you reclaim your life. Our drug rehab program is carefully tailored to meet your unique needs. We believe that recovery is not just about treating the addiction but also about understanding the individual behind it. Our team is dedicated to offering personalized care that focuses on your long-term success.

🏥 Inpatient Drug Rehab For those needing intensive care, our inpatient drug rehab program in Peru, IN provides a safe and structured environment. This program is ideal for individuals who require round-the-clock support and supervision. Here, you can focus entirely on your recovery, free from the distractions and triggers of daily life. Our inpatient program is designed to provide you with the tools and skills necessary to maintain sobriety long after you leave our facility.

🍃 Drug Detox Detoxification is the crucial first step in your recovery journey. At The Grove Estate, our drug detox program is managed by experienced professionals who ensure that the process is as comfortable and safe as possible. We understand that detox can be challenging, which is why we provide 24/7 care to help you through it. Whether you are dealing with alcohol or drug addiction, our drug detox Peru program is here to help you cleanse your body and start fresh.

🏡 Luxury Drug Rehab Our facility offers a luxury drug rehab experience that combines high-end amenities with top-notch care. Located in the serene landscapes of Indiana, The Grove Estate provides a peaceful setting where you can focus on your recovery. Our luxury drug rehab Indiana program is perfect for those seeking a comfortable and supportive environment as they work towards sobriety. From cozy accommodations to gourmet meals, we ensure that every aspect of your stay is designed to make you feel at home.

💼 Addiction Treatment for Professionals We also specialize in addiction treatment for professionals. We understand the unique challenges faced by working individuals and tailor our programs to fit your needs. Whether you need alcohol rehab or drug detox Indiana, we are here to provide you with the support you need to regain control of your life. Our team is experienced in helping professionals navigate the complexities of addiction while maintaining their careers.

📞 Take the First Step Today If you or a loved one is struggling with addiction, don’t wait any longer to seek help. Contact The Grove Estate in Peru, IN today to learn more about our addiction treatment Peru services. We are here to guide you on your journey to recovery, providing the support and care you need to achieve lasting sobriety. Your brighter, substance-free future begins with just one phone call. Reach out now and take the first step towards reclaiming your life.

Contact us:

The Grove Estate 3413 S Wallick Rd Peru, IN 46970 17654360825

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[drugrehabscentersblog]

Leading Drug Rehab Centers in Indiana and New York

Discover top rehab centers in Indiana & New York for personalized addiction recovery plans. Start your healing journey today.

[sunrise-recovery]

Overcoming Addiction: Exploring Free Drug Rehab Programs in Indiana.

Addiction is a devastating disease that affects millions of individuals and families across the United States. The road to recovery can be challenging, but it is not impossible. However, one of the major obstacles faced by those seeking help is the high cost associated with drug rehab programs.

Fortunately, Indiana offers various free drug rehab programs that provide essential treatment and support for individuals struggling with addiction, regardless of their financial situation. These programs aim to remove the financial barrier, allowing individuals to receive the help they need to overcome their addiction and rebuild their lives.

Free drug rehab in Indiana typically offer a range of services, including detoxification, individual and group counseling, cognitive-behavioral therapy, life skills training, relapse prevention techniques, support groups, and aftercare services. These programs aim to address the physiological, psychological, and social aspects of addiction to promote long-term recovery.

One popular type of free drug rehab program in Indiana is state-funded programs. These programs receive financial support from the government, enabling them to offer their services without charge to individuals seeking treatment. The Indiana Division oversees these programs and works to expand access to affordable and quality addiction treatment services throughout the state.

Another option for free drug rehab programs in Indiana is non-profit organizations. These organizations rely on funding from grants, donations, and community support to offer treatment services at no cost to individuals in need. 

Additionally, some free drug rehab programs in Indiana are faith-based or community-based. These programs are often supported by local churches, religious organizations, or community groups.  In conclusion, free drug rehab in Indiana play a vital role in helping individuals overcome addiction by providing essential treatment and support without the burden of financial barriers. With determination, support, and access to the right program, it is possible to overcome addiction and embrace a healthier, drug-free life.

[hickorytreatmentcenters]

Hickory Treatment Center at Indianapolis

Hickory Recovery Network and Hickory Treatment Centers – Indianapolis offers 28-day customized treatment plans, utilizing the best therapeutic modalities available. We provide detox services as well as a residential treatment program.

Address: 2926 N Capitol Ave, Indianapolis, IN 46208, USA Phone: 317-779-1088 Website: https://hickorytreatmentcenters.com/indianapolis-drug-alcohol-rehab

[drugrehabinsouthernindiana]

Drug Rehab In Southern Indiana

The Drug Rehab in Southern Indiana center offers comprehensive treatment programs for individuals seeking recovery from substance abuse disorders. The programs provide flexibility and convenience for individuals who do not require 24/7 residential care but still want structured support and treatment.

They offer a range of evidence-based therapies, counseling sessions, and group support to address the unique needs of each individual. the compassionate staff works closely with clients to develop personalized treatment plans focusing on their goals and challenges. 

Through outpatient programs, individuals have the opportunity to maintain their daily routines while receiving the necessary treatment to overcome addiction. They are committed to empowering individuals to achieve lasting sobriety and embrace a healthier, more fulfilling life.

[thegroveestate]

Luxury Drug Rehab In Indiana

Nestled in the serene city of Peru, Indiana, The Grove Estate stands as a premier destination for those seeking a pathway to recovery through residential detox Indiana. Our center is committed to providing comprehensive and compassionate care for individuals struggling with substance addiction.

The foundation of our program lies in our Residential Detox and Residential Rehab services, custom-tailored to meet the unique needs of each client. At The Grove Estate, we understand that addiction affects not only the individual but also their loved ones. This is why our treatment approach encompasses Rehab for Professionals and Family Integration, ensuring that our clients' personal and professional lives are taken into consideration throughout their journey to sobriety. Dual Diagnosis treatment is also at the forefront of our methodology, addressing co-occurring mental health conditions that often accompany substance use disorders.

Contact :

The Grove Estate

Address : 3413 S Wallick Rd, Peru, IN 46970, USA

Phone Number : 17654360825

Email : admissions@grovetreatment.com

Website : https://grovetreatment.com/

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[inpatientalcohol]

Drug Rehab In Southern Indiana

How does drug rehab in southern Indiana address the psychological and emotional symptoms experienced by individuals struggling with addiction?

Drug rehab in southern Indiana utilizes various approaches to address the psychological and emotional symptoms experienced by individuals struggling with addiction. One-on-one counseling sessions with experienced therapists or counselors are a key component of drug rehab. 

These professionals help individuals explore and address the psychological factors contributing to their addiction. Group therapy sessions may focus on various themes, such as relapse prevention, anger management, or communication skills, and are led by skilled therapists who facilitate discussion and encourage mutual support among participants.

Recognizing the impact of addiction on the family system, drug rehab often provides family therapy sessions. Family therapy can play a vital role in enhancing the long-term recovery and support network for individuals in treatment.

Many integrated approaches ensure that individuals receive comprehensive care that accounts for the interconnected nature of these issues. In certain cases, medication may be prescribed as part of the treatment plan to manage co-occurring mental health disorders. 

Drug rehab in Southern Indiana often incorporates holistic therapies to address the psychological and emotional aspects of addiction. These approaches can provide outlets for self-expression, stress reduction, emotional regulation, and personal growth.

Drug rehabs create safe and supportive environments that encourage individuals to explore and heal from past traumatic experiences. Therapists and staff are trained to approach treatment with sensitivity, understanding the impact of trauma on addiction and recovery.

Rehab centers prioritize aftercare planning to ensure continued support for individuals post-treatment. This may involve setting up outpatient therapy, and referrals to local support groups that provide ongoing mental health services.