#drove it down the street and used it as a generator for the town

[eusuchia]

just had to pause this ep of well theres your problem and take a deep breath because justin pronounced boucherville as bowch-ur-vill and nobody even ripped on him for it

[lukesaprince]

Ruin Me H.S

Summary: When the good girl / bad boy trope is just as hypnotic and addictive as everyone says it is OR y/n decides to get Harry's handwriting tattooed on her thigh (badboy/gang LHH trope?)

Warnings:  SMUT!! oral (f receiving), edging, spanking (with hand and belt), hair pulling, squirting, masochism, dom!harry, mocking/degradation, dacryphilia, bondage (with a belt), Injuries (black eye, split lip, gunshot wound & wound cleanup)... I think that's it 😅

Word count: 13.7k+

Author's note: This is loosely and I mean SO loosely inspired by Guilty As Sin by Taylor Swift and yeah I know what that song is about but this is based off literally one line in it... I definitely got carried away with the story hehe

- Find my General Masterlist here -

You never liked the bad boy, good girl narrative. The power imbalance and toxicity that came with someone so ruined and so problematic trying to heal his soul in someone that deserved better. She would always think she could change him, that he was just misunderstood and needed someone to love him. That his soul could be healed.

It was bullshit. Until you found yourself in that exact situation, believing just that. That he was misunderstood and so kind underneath his rough exterior. You even found yourself loving the hidden hookups and midnight cleanups. A knock on your door at all hours in the night to be let in for some charged, desperate fuck or to be fixed up because he got in a fight. 

You didn’t even know how it started, really. Harry was an enigma. A shadow in the wind that appeared one moment and disappeared the next on a dark bike just as mysterious as he was. That was how you met him, in a fleeting moment which at the time meant nothing. Until it meant everything. 

He drove by the cafe you worked at. You were closing up for the night and locking the door when the loud purr of his bike filled the entire street. You were already on edge being by yourself after the girl closing with you had to leave sick so your head whipped around to follow the loud noise. 

That’s when you saw him for the first time. He drove through the quiet street with a girl on the back of his bike that you had never seen before, both dressed head to toe in dark clothing and leather. They each had a black helmet covering their heads and yet you still knew that they were both looking at you.

It was unnerving and an interaction that had you walking a lot faster to your car in case they circled back and decided to give you trouble. Your town was used to damaged, dangerous shadows. People like Harry who came in for a night or a weekend for something illicit, only to never return. 

You weren’t sure why your small town attracted people like that, but only being a 45-minute drive from the closest big city made it the go-to place for affairs, romantic getaways, illegal meetings and everything in between.

Harry was meant to be like that too. Someone who just passed through. Until he met you.

The very next day he found himself visiting the cafe in hopes you were there. Harry wasn’t sure why he felt the need to go there since he was meant to be driving back to the city the morning after his rendezvous, but there was something about your eyes that he couldn’t get out of his head.

He didn’t even know if you’d be there and yet by some chance or fate, you were. Your back was towards him, busy on barista duty making coffees for the many customers waiting for their orders. He recognised your hair first; pulled back in two long braids down your back. You wore the cafe logo on your t-shirt and this pair of jeans that made your ass look incredible. 

You had no idea what the mystery man from last night looked like but you spent the night filling in the blanks of what was hidden beneath his helmet. Your brain seemed to be fixated on the stranger with some magical pull like you knew him already. Your body definitely seemed to like him already, that’s for sure.

“Harry? Americano two sugars.” You called out, sliding the takeaway cup to the edge of the counter before moving on to the next coffee. When the figure approached the counter, you went into your automatic greeting, “have a nice da-”, but the words got caught in your throat when you looked up and locked eyes with the same stranger last night. 

You knew it was him instantly. There was no rhyme or reason to explain it, but you knew and he was even more good-looking than you ever could’ve imagined. With piercing green eyes and a strong jaw, plump pink lips and tattoos running up both arms that had your core clenching. The most unexpected feature of all though, was his long luscious curls pulled back from his face and running just past his shoulders. 

Harry smirked, visibly seeing the wide-eyed, freeze response your body had just at the sight of him. It was a reaction he got often. He was tall and handsome and the dark clothing he wore made him appear far more intimidating than the usual curly-haired white boy. 

“Thank you, love.” He smirked, grabbing the takeaway cup before casually slipping a $100 bill into the tip jar. He was walking out of the cafe without another word, looking at you over his shoulder before he was walking down the street and out of your view.

That night it wasn’t just his face you were dreaming about. 

You never expected to see the handsome stranger, who you now knew as Harry, again but as the weeks went by he came to visit the cafe time and time again. It was always the same order and the same ‘thank you, love’ that had your head spinning and then he was gone with no idea of when he’d return again.

Then one day he took things a step further and asked you when your break was. It was the longest you heard him speak and the more words that came out, the more you found yourself hypnotised by the way his mouth wrapped around the syllables. Your coworkers warned you that men like him were dangerous and not worth the excitement and pleasure they always offered.

Time and time again you had helped your friends through some shitty breakup or worse with one of the travellers that rolled through town and you always promised yourself you wouldn’t put yourself in a situation like that. It was clear from the very first night that he was trouble but as much as you wanted to keep your distance, you just couldn’t. 

You had never felt so mesmerised by another person before. That initial burning attraction hot enough to take your breath away. In only one sit down with him, you were ready to risk it all. He was so gorgeous and charming and sweet. The epitome of that misunderstood bad boy.

Just like his frequent cafe visits, your lunch breaks soon became his. You two would sit and he’d always ask you about yourself. You did most of the talking and he did most of the listening, never giving much away of himself. He’d show up with bloody knuckles or a bruised eye but would mask the pain and simply shrug when you asked him if he was okay.

It was starting to feel like he knew everything about you and you knew nothing in return. You wanted to know everything about him. After weeks of these little interactions, he never tried to fuck you or pursue things with you or make you feel like you owed him for all the $100 tips he left. All he wanted to do was talk and if anything, that made you want him more.

Then one night… everything changed.

You were woken in the middle of the night by a crash in your living room. That would be scary for anyone, but it was even scarier when you were on the top floor and the only access points to your apartment were the front door and the fire escape out the window. 

You went into immediate panic mode, snatching the steak knife you had tucked under your pillows between your top sheet and your fitted sheet in case this very thing happened. Living alone had its challenges and one of them was the intense fear someone would break in in the middle of the night. By now you could recognise the sounds of your apartment and building so not every little creak freaked you out, but anyone could recognise the sound of broken glass and your pot plant being knocked over. 

Sticking the knife out in front of you, you tip-toed out of your bedroom and down the hallway to your living room where the noise came from. Your phone was clutched against your chest, the three-digit emergency number ready to be called in case it wasn’t your cat, Mouse, knocking things over. Mouse was a fragile little thing and sometimes got scared by the smallest things. Even setting a mug down on the bench too hard could have her jumping out of her skin. 

You prayed it was only her being skittish. 

When you made it to the end of your hallway, you pressed yourself against the wall and tipped your head out ever so slightly to look into your living room. A whole wave of emotions rushed over you at once at the sight. It wasn’t your cat, but rather a tall dark figure holding your purring pet. 

It was a figure you recognised immediately, even with his strong back facing towards you.

“Harry? What the fuck?” You hissed, turning your phone off while turning the lights on at the same time. 

“Hey, bunny.” Harry flashed a sly smile, turning to look at you. You noticed the dried blood on his lip and eyebrow instantly and the swollen ball forming on his cheek. Fucking hell. 

That smile instantly dropped when his eyes ran over you, taking in the ratty loose t-shirt and tiny underwear you were wearing. The t-shirt had a worn-out collar making it slide down to expose your collarbone and one shoulder. Your nipples were pressing through the thin material, all pebbled and hard from the cold air now blowing in from the window Harry accidentally broke on his way in. 

Getting dressed was the last thing on your mind before venturing out here and you suddenly regretted not putting pants on at least. To be fucking fair though, you never would’ve guessed Harry would break in through your window when A. you had a very suitable front door, B. he didn’t even have your number and C. you never told him where you lived. 

“What the… how do you know where I live?” You asked a little shakily, crossing your arms to cover your chest while still keeping the knife on guard in front of you.

Harry set down Mouse and she immediately ran over to you, purring while sliding her body against your calf. He walked over to you slowly and the closer he got, the worse his injuries appeared. A split lip and split eyebrow and a deep purple hue starting to form around his socket. He looked awful. 

“Are you going to stab me, bunny?” He drawled, almost mockingly. You stood your ground, trying not to show your shaking as your hand tightened around the handle of the knife. His eyes were dark and he allowed himself a final drag over your body, stepping so close to you that the tip of the knife pressed into his stomach while he towered over you. “Gonna cut me open? Give me another scar to add to my collection?”

Even though you knew you should be scared, you weren’t. He found your address and broke into your house and yet physically, you weren’t the slightest bit worried that he’d hurt you. You knew nothing about him, didn’t even know what illegal venture he did for work and yet you trusted him.

Because you trusted him, your shaking was for a very different reason. Having him in your apartment all bloody and bruised and still as handsome as ever had you completely worked up. The thought of… of doing just what he teased, of giving him a scar that reminded him of you forever… god, it was so fucked up how horny that made you.

You were obsessed over a man who hadn’t even kissed you, yet knew every single thing about you. It was ridiculous. That felt even more ridiculous than playing off this entire interaction as a somewhat normal experience. 

“I’ve got a perfectly fine front door, y’know.” You whispered, looking over to the broken window. You kept your knife against his stomach, even testing the waters by pressing it harder ever so gently into the toned muscles beneath his shirt. “And you’re paying for that to be fixed, by the way.” 

Harry laughed, wincing ever so slightly at the tinge of pain in his face. But still, he laughed. And it was golden. “I’ll pay for whatever you want,” He murmured, smirking while looking down at the knife. “I’m sure you’re very skilled with a blade, bunny, but will you put it aside for now and clean me up instead? Need a pretty girl to make me feel better.”

You looked between your knife and his eyes, reluctantly dropping your hand beside your hip. “Come on.”

Saying nothing else, you spun around and walked into your bathroom. Harry followed closely behind, looking around your apartment with curiosity before his eyes fell on you. You pulled your t-shirt down as far as it would go, but it still rode up as you walked and he found himself unable to look anywhere else.

“Sit.” You pointed to the closed toilet and set your knife down on the bench, crouching down to get the first aid kit from the cabinet below the sink.

Harry did as told and shrugged his leather jacket off, setting it down on the bench before sitting on the closed toilet lid. He watched you intently, saying nothing as you set up your tools to sanitise and clean his wounds. 

After grabbing some gauze and betadine to clean the open wounds, you soaked the material and started to clean the small gash on his eyebrow. Harry kept completely still, barely feeling the pinch. Your touch was so soft, so gentle. He found it more relaxing than anything else. Once that wound was clean, you moved onto his mouth which Harry found a lot more sensitive. 

“So how did this happen?” you asked softly, dabbing his lip with the small cloth. His eyes closed as he tensed, hands fisting on his knees to stop himself from getting too worked up. Pain didn’t affect Harry, at least not in a normal way. Every sting and bite at your hand was turning him on in an inappropriate way. You were his bunny, his girl. He couldn’t get hard around you when all you were trying to do was help him. 

“Oh, y’know...” He shrugged, keeping his eyes on you but not giving anything away.

“I don’t, actually.” You responded. 

“It doesn’t matter how it happened, just that I’ve got a pretty girl fixing me up.” He attempted to smooth it over with a soft smile and a loving tap on your chin. It was the most he ever touched you, a little tap on your chin or a graze of his fingers on your cheek. He never touched your knee or your hand or anywhere else. It was infuriating. 

“It does! You show up here in the middle of the night and break in. I don’t even know how you found my address but I’m cleaning your cuts and you won’t even tell me how you got them. How is that fair!? I know nothing about you Harry.” Your voice bordered on a sigh and a yell, exhausted with him showing up out of nowhere and charming you before disappearing again. You weren’t sure what to make of it and he wasn’t giving you any ideas on what he actually wanted from you.

“It’s better that way, y/n.” He looked away from you, leaning back so your fingers weren’t holding his chin anymore to keep him in position. “You don’t want to get involved with me.”

“That’s not fair and you know it. You show up constantly and-and what? Have lunch with me? Get to know me? You can’t do that and not expect me to want to know something back.” You expressed frustratingly, shoving the first aid items into the small bin beside your cabinet. 

“I want to keep you safe, y/n.” He stood from the toilet, sighing when you refused to look at him. “The less you know about me, the safer you’ll be.”

“So why do you even keep coming back if you don’t want me involved with you? It’s killing me!” You snapped, looking up at him accusatorily. 

“Because I can’t stay away from you.” He whispered, sliding his hand over the side of your neck. Your breath hitched at the touch, your body automatically leaning into it as he rubbed his thumb over your jaw and towards your mouth. Oh. “I’m so fucking obsessed with you it’s unhealthy. I think about you all the time. All the fucking time, y/n.”

“I don’t know what you want from me.” Tears pricked at your eyes, “you’re so confusing Harry because you look at me like that and say things but you don’t even touch me. You haven’t kissed me or-or anything. Just tell me what you want from me so I know where to set my expectations.”

“You think I don’t want to kiss you?” He cocked his head, turning your bodies so your back was to the basin. His hand looped to the front of your neck and it was like every cell in your body suddenly put their focus onto him. You couldn’t breathe or think or move or anything. Not when his large ringed fingers were wrapped around your neck like he was carrying a trophy. A prize to claim. “You think I don’t want to touch you?”

Harry pressed his hips into you, eliciting a gasp when you felt his long, hard cock pressed against you. He used his hips to nudge you against the cabinet, pinning you there so you couldn’t go anywhere. “All I think about is kissing you. Kissing your lips and your neck and… everywhere. The things I want to do to you y/n are so unsavoury your pretty little head would explode.”

He always thought you were this pure… innocent angel. One of the rare people in the world with no ill intentions. You were polite and sweet, even after Harry significantly brought you out of your shell since he met you. You were studying to be a nurse for Christ’s sake, some of the purest of the pure.

He wanted to ruin you. He wanted to take that innocence away more than anything on this planet. It was his built-in fucked up default program. To want what he couldn’t have. To want to destroy everything around him. 

But he couldn’t do that to you. The last thing he wanted was to hurt you, even if it hurt him in the process. Harry had no light in his life, no hope until he met you and he knew that the moment this became real he would destroy you. His life would destroy you or Harry would do something to fuck it all up and he’d hurt you.

He’d break your heart. 

“It won’t.” You rushed out, “It won’t explode. I… I want it.” You could barely articulate yourself. Not when his whole body was pressed to yours. All you had been thinking of for months was having him completely dominate your body. Just to touch you and please you. Even if it was only one time before he disappeared from your life forever.

You needed it.

“I’ll ruin you.” He promised, leaning in closer so his nose bumped against yours. He breathed out a ragged breath, feeling so close to completely giving in to his desires. All of them. “I’ll destroy every good thing about you, y/n. You don’t want that.”

The scariest part of all… was that you did want it. You were becoming the exact person you didn’t want to be. A good girl sacrificing herself to save the soul of someone who might never be saved. But you believed Harry would be saved. You could fix him. Help him to get away from whatever life he lived that made him hurt so badly inside. 

You wanted to save him. 

“I do. I do want it.” You nodded desperately, grabbing his other hand to guide it towards your clothed mound. You pressed your hand over his, using your own fingers to press his against the silky wet patch on the crotch of your underwear. He swore under his breath, taking the initiative to stroke his fingers along the wet material. “Ruin me. Please.”

So he did.

He ruined you over and over again that night and for many nights after. It completely changed everything for you two. Like it was the last barrier stopping you two from being completely open with each other. You had always told him the things you told everyone else. Your likes and dislikes, the show you were watching, your workplace drama.

But your desires… your needs and wants. They were reserved for no one but yourself. Until he came along. 

Harry told you he’d ruin you and he stuck to his word. The things you did together were dirty and depraved and left you with such a feral need for the man, you would’ve let him do quite literally anything to you. As would he, you. And you practically had. Every desire or curiosity was sated and he was willing to do anything to satisfy you. 

Harry became as violently obsessed with you as you did him and even though it was a hell of a trip to see you, he did so as often as possible. He couldn’t help himself. Not when he had such a pretty girl waiting to please him and take care of his heart, body and soul. You filled the hole in his life in all aspects, which is what he feared would happen when he saw you that very first night. 

Someone so magnetic would ruin him and he was enjoying every moment of it. 

You had no idea he traveled from the main city just to see you until you two started sleeping together. He continued stopping by for a coffee or to disturb your lunch break but very quickly, your time spent together turned into an after hours activity. He’d come to get fixed up and then he’d ruin you. Or… his sole intention was to ruin you all along. 

There were many sleepless nights because of him. Not that you minded. He opened up to you more and told you more about himself and what he did. When you started to learn small things, you realised that he was probably right in you being better off left in the dark. It was a lot more elaborate than you could’ve imagined and it made sense why he did so much to keep you protected. 

Running an elaborate drug smuggling operation wasn’t exactly the safest job out there, nor did it give you much opportunity to switch careers. Somehow, though, you weren’t deterred by it. Maybe it was because you were already in love with him the second he ruined you for the first time. 

His high job security didn’t stop you from fantasising about a different life with him. Harry leaving that life for you. The only part of the job Harry liked was the financial stability and the power. The control he had. But you felt like Harry was destined for so much more, that he could live a much happier, safer life. With you. 

“Have you ever thought about running away?” You asked, playing with his long hair. It was unruly and sweaty and you were threading your fingers through the knots formed from the midnight hookup. You were still hot and sweaty too, but Harry quite liked the sticky feeling of your skin and the lingering scent of sex in the air. 

“Running away? I couldn’t.” Harry breathed through a laugh like it was unfathomable. “You couldn’t either.” He looked up from his work, reaching for your hand to bring it to your mouth to kiss your knuckles. “You’ll be a nurse soon and you’ve always had your heart set on Mercy. You’ll get a job there and it’ll be everything you want.” He smiled softly, guiding your hand back to his hair so you’d play for it while he finished the artwork on your upper thigh. 

The thin marker was steady in his hand and he only had one letter left before the piece was complete, not that four letters took a particularly long time to write. But he wanted it to be perfect, for the permanent marker to last as long as possible on your pretty skin. You’d never do it permanently, after all you were still his good girl and no good girl would be as rogue as to get her lover's handwriting tattooed on her thigh after only a few months. Or ever. Permanent marker and baby powder always did the trick to make a design last a while, though, and Harry hoped it would still be there the next time he snuck through your window. 

“I want you, Harry.” You whispered, finding his concentration both adorable and so damn sexy you were getting all worked up again. If he looked a little to the left to where your bare cunt was so so close to his fingers, he’d probably be able to tell too. “And the good thing about being a nurse is I can do it anywhere. I can…” you swallowed your nerves, unsure what his reaction would be to your suggestion. “I can work anywhere and-”

“It wouldn’t work, y/n.” He interrupted curtly, leaning back to observe his work while putting the cap back onto his pen. Harry rarely used your name, he was too fond of his pet name for you. “You will always be mine. Always. But I think we both know that what we have is temporary.” Your heart broke at his words and you felt the pain fizzle through your body like a burning liquid. He looked up at you as he blew on the temporary tattoo. “When I inevitably break your heart, bunny, you’ll move on and find someone who can love you the way you deserve. I’ll never move on from you, but you will and you’ll be happier for it.”

“That’s not true.” You all but whimpered. Harry ignored your plea, tapping against your skin to test whether the marker was dry. “You always say that you’ll break my heart, Harry but that’s not true.” He looked up at you for a moment, trying to hide the heartbreak he felt at seeing how sad you were. Grabbing the little bottle of baby powder, he sprinkled it over the little word, massaging the surrounding area of your leg. “I… I love you and I know you love me. If you loved me you wouldn’t hurt me.” 

“Bunny, I love you more than anything else on this planet.” He assured, shifting up onto his knees in all his naked glory. He spread his hands over your belly, rubbing his thumbs a little harder into your skin. “I would never do anything to hurt you but this life… it follows me wherever I go. There’ll be a time where I need to sacrifice my love and happiness to protect you. But you’ll always be mine. Until the day I die.” He smiled softly, looking back down to the pile of powder on your upper thigh. He ran his thumb over it, rubbing away from the white substance and leaving the matte four-letter word. 

Mine. 

“See?” He smirked, looking down at the ‘tattoo’, “I can’t promise you forever, bunny. But I can promise you that I’ll be yours at least until this fades. Who knows what could happen by then.”

You sat up, pressing your hands behind you on the bed for balance as you looked at his artwork. There was something so sexy about being branded like that, even if it was temporary. Your otherwise empty skin now looked complete with his mark there. In his handwriting. 

What other sign could be more clear that you belonged to him than his handwriting on your thigh stating just that? 

“I love it.” You whispered, tracing over the cursive letters. “Will you be back?” You settled on asking, pausing for a moment, “before the tattoo fades?” 

That was one thing that troubled you about your relationship with Harry. The fact that you never knew when you’d see him again. You both openly professed your love and obsession for each other and yet you didn’t go on dates or text or call. Harry just showed up. 

He told you it was to keep you safe. It was the very same reason he snuck through your window instead of knocking on your front door. There was less chance of anyone finding out about you. Whoever ‘anyone’ was. 

Harry nodded. “I should be. I’ve got a job this weekend though so it might not be for a little longer than usual.” He plastered a soft smile on his face to calm you and reached out to cup your face. “Better make sure it’s still here when I get back. Okay, bunny? Unless you want me to mark it on your skin another way.” That smile tilted to a smirk, promising you foreplay that both of you knew would have you begging him for release. 

This time you nodded, “I’ll be good f’you.” 

Shit. 

“Good girl, Princess.” Harry cooed, looking down briefly at his own cock, already hardening even after filling your mouth and pussy with his cum. He couldn’t help it really. Not when your naked body was so gorgeous and now marked with his handwriting. “now c’mere.” 

You smiled, shifting up on your knees to join him halfway in a searing kiss. It was nearly 2 am already but you knew that you wouldn’t get any sleep at all. 

The days that followed were restless. You kept looking at those four letters on your thigh and thinking of all the things you had and hadn’t done together. The many trysts you shared with hushed conversations and messy top lip kisses. How his hands felt on your body and his lips on your skin. 

You had no idea how long it would be before he came to the cafe or broke into your apartment again. There was no word from him or rumour that he was passing through town. The shadows that liked to drift in and out became known the moment they visited more than once and Harry… well he had become a regular now. 

The next time Harry snuck into your apartment, bordering on an entire week after he wrote ‘mine’ on your upper thigh, you were ready. You weren’t sure why you knew because sometimes you had no idea until you felt his presence in your bed. Mouse didn’t even meow or run in fear when he entered through the window anymore, making his entrance sometimes as silent as wind whistling through an empty street. 

But tonight… you knew. 

There was a shift in the room temperature and a lingering scent of tobacco in the air that had your core clenching just at the thought of him visiting you. Of him seeing the surprise you had for him. It was all in your head of course, a delusion brought on by obsession. Still… you knew. 

And just like clockwork, you heard the sound of your window sliding upwards just past midnight. He thankfully hadn’t broken the glass since the first night, but for him to just slink in you had to keep the window unlocked. Before meeting him you obsessively checked every lock on every window and your front door every night, fearing that one of the shadows coming through town would try and hurt you.

You’d think that getting involved with someone like Harry would make that fear worse and yet… it didn’t. Somehow you felt safer. Harry once made a passing comment about keeping an eye on you, that he always knew if you were alright. He didn’t have to elaborate for you know that meant he had hacked into security cameras or had someone he trusted watching your apartment at all times. 

6-months-ago-you would’ve been creeped the fuck out. Scared for your life that you’d allow one of the shadows to get you so hooked on him, you’d let him have a security guard of sorts around you 24/7, or even just the fact you let him so casually break into your apartment. It made total sense to you somehow because with all the theatrics and abnormal parts of your relationship came the love and happiness you got when you saw him.

Even though it was most likely your lover opening your window, you still fished for the knife under your pillow, now replaced with something pink and shiny and far more deadly. Harry decided that if you were going to protect yourself, you needed something more dangerous than a serrated kitchen knife. You treasured that pocket knife and you and Harry have had a lot of fun playing with it. 

“Harry?” You whispered, creeping down your hallway. 

“It’s just me, bunny.” His voice echoed, low and husky. 

You smiled, rushing out to find him pushing your window back down and locking the latch. His hair was pulled back into a bun, sitting messily at the back of his head and he was wearing his classic leather jacket and dark jeans. God, you had missed him. 

“You really need to start locking your window, y/n.” Harry drawled, turning around to face you. “A madman might try to break in and hurt you.” 

You giggled, throwing your pocket knife on your rug carelessly to pounce on him. Literally. He smiled and caught you easily, letting you wrap your legs around his hips while your arms wrapped around his neck. 

Your mouths joined almost instantly, lips brushing against lips in a heated exchange. You threaded your fingers in his hair and tugged until his bun came loose and his hair fell to his shoulders. He groaned at the feeling and ran his tongue against the seam of your lips, nibbling down on your bottom lip. 

“I missed you, madman.” You whispered once your lips broke, shifting in his arms. His hands supported your bum, squeezing while he devoured your mouth once more. His body was sore from his weekend job, but he’d never let that get in the way of having his girl in his arms. 

“I missed you too, bunny. So much… I couldn’t breathe without you.” He murmured, setting you down with a little wince. You noticed it immediately and ran your hands over his face, angling his head around to look for any injuries. He wasn’t bruised on his face for once, but you knew he was hurting somewhere. 

“What’s wrong? Are you hurt? What happened?” The questions came out spitfire, making Harry smile down at you and set his hands on your hips. Your eyes found a dried substance at his collar and you recognised what it was immediately. “Is that blood?”

“Not mine.” He assured, “I’m fine, baby. Don’t worry.” 

You ignored his assurance and started running your hands over his chest, looking for any sign of pain or visible jerk out of tenderness. When your fingers grazed his lower abdomen, he couldn’t hide the clench of his jaw. You glared up at him, pressing harder against the spot so he’d feel a little payback for lying to you. 

Harry groaned and dug his fingers into your hips, ensuring it was hard and painful enough to leave a bruise. You didn’t mind though, in fact, you quite liked it. 

“Jesus Harry, you got shot!?” Your eyes widened when you tugged up his t-shirt to find a bloody gauze. You knew what it was immediately. You had seen your fair share of bullet wounds in your work placements at the hospital as well as the dodgy ways they tried to mend them themselves. “When did this happen?” You decided to peel off the gauze to see the wound for yourself, not trusting the temporary mend he had done. The wound had been stitched up quite well actually, but it was inflamed and a few stitches had broken. It needed to be mended.

“Did it go all the way through? Is the bullet still in here? Why didn’t you tell m-”

Harry interrupted your second spitfire of the evening by pressing his lips to yours. It was quick to shut you up, especially when he slid his tongue against the seam of your mouth and dominated his way in. His tongue slid against yours, tobacco and whiskey heavy in the kiss. 

You whimpered against his mouth, almost forgetting about the bullet wound until you felt its blood soak your fingertips. Pulling back, Harry tried to chase your mouth, needing you violently. Insatiably. He had missed your soft skin and your delicious mouth and especially missed your sweet sweet pussy. One he had a severe craving for. He could almost taste it on his tongue. 

“Bathroom. Now. Your stitches are busted.” You pushed your finger to his chest and he easily backed away. He was completely whipped by you, willing to do anything you told him. 

“Alright, bunny. You’re the boss.” He murmured, shrugging his jacket off to dump it on the couch before following you to the bathroom. You both followed the same routine as always. He sat on the closed toilet seat and you readied your supplies to treat his wounds. 

“Top off.” You instructed, using a lighter to sanitise the end of the needle you threaded already. 

“Yes ma’am.” He chuckled softly, stifling a groan as he grabbed the back of his collar and pulled his shirt off his head. “You’re feisty when you’re mad.” 

“You shouldn’t have lied to me.” You shot back, sanitising the scissors next with your betadine. 

“It’s just a bullet wound, bunny.” He tried to soothe, watching you approach him and rub the wound with betadine in preparation to cut his original stitches and do new ones. “Didn’t even go straight through me.”

“So the bullet’s still in there? Jesus, Harry. Why didn’t you go to the hospital? I’m not equipped to remove a fucking bullet in my bathroom.” You snapped. 

“It’s not in there, y/n. One of my boys removed it, okay?” He chuckled softly, both loving and hating how worried you were. He reached up to cup your face, “I’m fine. The only thing wrong with me is a busted stitch.” 

You ignored him, keeping your glare strong on your face. His hands dropped to his knees and he remained completely still while you worked on the wound. He hated that permanent crease on your brow and all he wanted to do was make it go away. 

“What’s wrong?” He nudged, poking at your leg when you stayed completely silent. You were in your usual oversized t-shirt, underwear combination, but this particular t-shirt was long enough to cover your bum and the tops of your thighs. “C’mon bunny, talk to me.” 

“You’re distracting me.”

“And you’re ignoring me. I don’t like when you’re cross with me.”

“Well I don’t like being left in the dark for an entire week and when you show up you’ve been shot.” You snapped, pulling the needle tighter than you’d usually do to make a knot, just so it hurt a little more. He clenched his jaw, but he was more concerned about you than the temporary pain of his stitches. “What if you died Harry? Then what? I would’ve…” you looked away to grab the scissors, trying to blink away the tears. When you returned, his gaze was soft. “I would’ve never known. You would’ve left me and I… I’d never know.”

You couldn’t even focus on his wound with how hard your hands were shaking. You managed to cut the excess thread, but the moment it was done Harry pulled the scissors and needle out of your hand and brought your shaking ones to his. 

“Y/n, I’d never do that to you. Never.” Harry scanned your face, reaching up to cup you to get you to look at him. “I didn’t mean to scare you, bunny.” He wrapped his hand around the nape of your neck, gently pulling you down to rest your forehead against his. “I should’ve told you.”

“Yeah, you should’ve.” You agreed, unable to stop a few tears streaming down your cheeks. “You’re an asshole.”

“I am.” He nodded, trying to kiss you until you turned your head away from him. “I fucked up. I’ll never, ever do that again. Never.” He promised, tipping his forehead to your cheek while threading your fingers to press your hand against his racing heart. “My heart belongs to you forever.”

“I’m yours, Harry.” You promised, pulling back to wipe your tears away and get the bandage to cover his wound. He sighed and grabbed your waist instead, pulling you closer between his legs so you wouldn’t go too far. “But I need… I need something. I can’t keep waiting for you to show up with nothing in between. I can barely sleep when you’re not here.”

“Okay. I’ll… I’ll get a burner. Untraceable. Just for you and me.” He suggested, “You’ll never go a day without hearing from me again.” It was a promise. An oath. He never wanted to be the cause of your tears again, even if he knew he would be. It was why he didn’t want to keep your hopes up about a future, even if he wanted it more than anything in the entire world. 

“You promise?” You asked, running hands over the placed bandage to seal it in place. He nodded, looking up at you with a soft smile. You hated how easy it was to forgive him. But you loved when he looked at you like that. Like you were his entire world. 

“I promise. Cross my heart.” He murmured, running his hands over your waist and hips, “now will you stop being mad at me and give me a kiss?” 

Harry stood up, overpowering you with his height. Using one hand on your waist, he nudged you against the basin and used the other hand to cup the side of your neck. His gaze was dark, eyes blazing with a need to please and be pleased. He was hungry for you, just like he was since the moment he got on his bike to drive down to see you. 

“Please, bunny. Let me make it up to you.” 

All you could do was nod. 

Harry was easy to succumb to your influence, easy to follow instructions and do whatever you wanted. But he was just as easy to overpower you, to dominate you. To get you reduced to nothing but a whimper and a nod of your head. 

He was quick to duck in and clasp your lips together. It started slow and steady, a languid dance of your mouths that turned into something far more passionate. It always did. He slid his hand to the back of your neck, threading his fingers into your hair to move your face in the direction he wanted while he nibbled on your bottom lip and slid his tongue against the seam of your mouth. 

You let him in easily, loving the slow, deliberate slide of his tongue against yours. That familiar tobacco mint flavour was heavy in the kiss, a mix of the cigarette he no doubt had before climbing up the fire escape and the mint gum he liked to chew on to try and curb the habit. It never did work, but you liked the taste of him trying to stop the nasty addiction.

You pulled him closer by his hips, digging your fingers into the slight pudge just above his belt. It was one of your favourite parts of him to kiss, to bite. You had dug your teeth in it so many times Harry was tempted to get a tattoo of your bite so he could remember the feeling of your teeth sinking into him forever. 

“Wanna taste you, bunny.” Harry groaned, tucking his hand under your shirt to fiddle with the band of your lace underwear. Your hips bucked up to meet the touch, desperate to get him doing more than just play with your underwear. “Missed the sweet taste of you on my tongue.” He kissed you softly, dragging your bottom lip back between his teeth until he released it with a pop. “Always dream of it when I’m away.”

“I guess what’s one way to apologise.” You breathed, sighing when he pinched your thigh. He tucked his hands under your ass, hoisting you up so you’d wrap your legs around his hips. 

“Mhmm. I’d happily die apologising to you. Over and over.” He had this smirk playing on his lips, but you didn’t particularly find it funny. 

“Don’t talk about dying.” You reprimanded softly, playing with his hair while he carried you to your bedroom. 

“Not even if it’s death by your sweet pussy?” He grinned, lowering you onto the bed. You shuffled upwards, rolling your eyes as he knelt on the bed to hover over you. 

“For someone who gets shot for a living, you have the humour of a 13-year-old boy.” 

“And you don’t like that?” Harry raised his brow, grinning while leaning in to kiss you. You hummed into the kiss, tugging on his hair until his groan rumbled into your mouth. He pressed his weight against you, ensuring you felt every inch of his arousal for you.

He could feel yours right back. How wet you were, how warm your pussy was pressed right against his jeans. You had properly soaked through your lacy underwear and Harry could feel his jeans slowly dampen from the way he was grinding his hips against you. It was heaven. He could hardly wait to get his mouth on your sweet little cunt, especially when you were already so worked up for him. 

“Your humour is only funny…” you paused to gasp, head tilting back so Harry could nip down along your neck. “…sometimes.”

“And you’re sexy all the time.” He murmured, simultaneously pushing your oversized t-shirt up while kissing downwards. He ran his hands over every inch of exposed skin, pushing the shirt above your breasts so he could clasp his lips around one of your nipples. 

You took the shirt off immediately, whimpering and bucking your hips to meet his while you scratched at his back. He scraped his teeth against your sensitive bud, tugging and sucking hard enough to make your head spin. While he assaulted your nipples, his hands ran over your belly and hips down to your thighs spread wide underneath him. It was only when his fingers crawled to your very inner thigh ready to tease you through your underwear that he felt the thin film of plastic.

“What’s this?” His movements stopped immediately as he felt over the thin plastic film. You whimpered at the sensitivity, feeling particularly sore after your adventure yesterday. 

“I did something and you can’t be mad…” You breathed, watching him sit back on his haunches. 

His eyes widened when he got a better look, resting his hand on your thigh while he ran his thumb over the four little letters now permanently marked on your skin. Harry was no stranger to tattoos, he was practically covered in them. But the last thing he ever expected was for you to make your temporary tattoo last longer by making it permanent.

His handwriting. His claim. Harry permanently etched on your body forever. 

“Bunny…” Harry murmured, looking between you and the tattoo. “What did you do?”

“You said you couldn’t promise me forever but you could give me until the tattoo fades…” His eyes focused on you and you felt yourself already becoming pliant just with the dark look on his face. “...now it’ll never fade.”

He said nothing for a moment and just stayed staring at your tattoo. His eyes drifted upwards ever so slightly to where your pretty lace underwear was pressed snugly to your pussy. Then he looked further upwards to your soft belly and your perky tits and finally… to your face. Your pretty eyes and your lips, the lips he loved to kiss more than anything. 

Harry was back over you in an instant, cupping your jaw while kissing you like he was ravenous for it. You whimpered into it, tugging on his hair until your lips parted in a gasp. 

“Can’t believe you did that, bunny. Got a fucking tattoo so I’d be stuck to you forever.” He murmured, smushing his mouth to yours again. “That was the plan, wasn’t it? Force my hand so I’d be yours forever.” He started to kiss back down your body again, making sure his tongue pressed against your skin with every touch. 

“I love you. I want… I want to be yours forever.” You whimpered, watching him settle between your spread legs with an evil smirk on his face. 

“And you thought a tattoo was the right choice? Hm? You thought letting some other man permanently alter your body was the way to go?” He dipped his fingers into the waistband of your underwear, tearing the lacy material in two. He was completely rough with it, making sure it ached as he pulled torn pieces off your body. 

“It wasn’t a man. She… shit.” You couldn’t even find the words, not when he spread you wide and stared at you like you were some fine dessert. 

“You think that makes it better, bunny? You think who did the tattoo makes a difference?” He raised his brow, running both his thumbs up your outer labia to tease you. 

“I told you not to be mad.” You whined, pressing your hands to your face. 

“I’m not mad. I think this is quite possibly the hottest… most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me.” You peeked through your parted fingers, looking down at where he was looking up at you, spreading his hands to kiss at the thin layer of plastic. “So fucking sexy.” Harry murmured, looking down at it in awe. 

“So why do you sound mad?” You whispered, looking down at him.

“I’m not mad you got a tattoo, I’m mad I wasn’t there. Didn’t I always say I wanted to be there for your first one?”

“Well yes but-“

“And didn’t you promise me that I would be?”

“Yes…” you swallowed thickly. He was speaking at you in such a condescending way. Like you were a child being taught a basic lesson for the first time. It was belittling. 

It turned you on in such a feral way. He could even mansplain anything and you’d be happy to play into it. As long as he sounded like that and wound up between your thighs afterwards he could speak to you however he liked. 

“So you went against your word, hm?” He smirked as your thighs trembled on either side of his shoulders, your body growing more and more sensitive and needy as he started tracing over your pussy. 

“I guess so.”

“Do I go against my word? Have I ever broken a promise before?” 

“Yes.” You tried to defend, knowing very well he always stuck to his word. Harry had never broken a promise to you. Not when he told you he’d be back in three days or when he didn’t know but promised he’d return to you safely. He always kept his word. 

To be fair though, it was hard to stay clear-minded when he was caressing your pussy like it was something cute to pet. It wasn’t. And with every stroke of his fingers, every slide through your crease to spread your arousal up to your clit before coming straight back down like he didn’t even know what a clit was, your mind was spiralling. He was killing you. 

“Oh really?” He nudged a finger to your entrance, pressing just hard enough to slip the very top inside of you. You always were the most sensitive at your g-spot then right here, at the very beginning where all your nerves were alive and your pussy was clenching around nothing because you needed something inside. Specifically Harry’s cock. “Tell me. When?” He pressed an open-mouthed kiss to your clit and finally slid his finger inside of you, eliciting the prettiest whine. 

“Um… Uhh…” You couldn’t speak or think with his tongue slowly sliding over your clit now. He traced languid circles and waves, taking complete control and doing it all at his own pace. Harry was tasting you for his own pleasure more than he was yours, even if he did love the way you came for him. 

“Exactly.” He smirked, “So let me take my time with you. I’m owed that, aren’t I?” 

“I thought you were meant to be apologising to me? This feels like an unfair system. A bullet wound is more serious than a tattoo.” You complained, sliding your hands into his hair to try and drag him closer to you. 

After being away from him for so long, one of the longest times apart since you started dating-or whatever you two were, all you wanted was to feel him. You wanted his pleasure and the weight of his body on top of you. Teasing wasn’t fun when you were apart more than you were together.

You prayed that would change after the gesture you made. The permanent commitment to him. 

“Which one is permanent?” He grinned lazily up at you.

“You could’ve died.” You argued.

“But I didn’t. Now will you stop complaining otherwise I’m more than happy to stop. It’s been a big day I could easily go to sl-”

“No!” You jumped a little too quickly, making him laugh and press spongey kisses against your inner thighs. “No… no, please. I’ll take whatever you want. I’ll be good.” 

“Yeah?” He smirked, pressing his fingers into your fresh tattoo. You gasped, clutching his hair tighter in your hands. “That’s what I like to hear, pretty girl. Besides, I think letting me take my sweet time tasting you is the best punishment out there. Don’t you think?” 

Harry pressed a few chaste kisses along your thighs, feeling just how tense you were. You were clenching around his finger and holding onto his hair tight so he wouldn’t move away. But he couldn’t have you so tense… he needed you to relax.

“Calling it a punishment scares me…” you whimpered, feeling his tongue slide over your clit in a sloppy figure-eight pattern. 

“mh… just relax, bunny. Stop thinking and let me take care of you… you’re my girl, aren’t you? My sweet, delicious girl. My girl?” He ran his thumb over your tattoo, speaking right against your clit like he was talking to your pussy instead of you. 

“Mhmm.” 

“Then relax… you deserve to be spoiled after all you do for me…” Harry looked up at you, smiling as you forced your body to melt into the bed. 

Your eyes fluttered shut, head tilting back when his mouth returned to your clit. He gently added another finger inside of you, curling them both into your g-spot in a steady stroke. They felt so deep inside of you, nowhere near as full of his cock but still so so good. 

The combination of his tongue and his fingers were driving you crazy, but he did them in such a relaxed, languid way that you knew it would take you ages to cum, if he even let you. 

“See? ‘S nice isn’t it?… you always take care of me, bunny. Always clean my wounds and take good care of m’cock… m’heart too…. Always make me feel so happy.”

“You make me happy too… scare me a lot too…” You sighed, fisting his hair as he grazed his teeth over your clit.

“I don’t mean to,” Harry murmured against you, kissing against your clit in an infuriatingly light touch. “Only want to make you feel good… feel safe…”

“You do… you do… just-fuck, please… More… Harder.”

He smirked at your begging, the whiny tone in your voice going straight to his cock. Barely a couple minutes into it and you were already getting desperate. Already tugging at his hair and starting to wiggle. 

He loved you like this because he had the ultimate control over whether or not he gave you what you wanted. At this point, it could go either way. 

“Not yet sweetheart, ‘m having too much fun just like this…”

Your back arched when he pressed his fingertips into your tattoo, purposefully digging into the soft skin. It was a small tattoo, tiny in comparison to half of Harry’s work but you had a relatively low pain tolerance and your very inner thigh was quite sensitive. It was torturous paired with the way his tongue softly stroked against your clit. 

“Please, Harry…” You begged once more, using your hands in his hair to try and drag him closer to you. You were writhing beneath him, desperate for something more than just light teasing shapes. You could barely handle it anymore. 

“Ah.” Harry tutted, slipping from your clit with a little pop of his lips. He grinned up at you, mouth and chin all soaked and dripping before pulling your hands from his hair to push them down on the bed beside you. It was possibly one of the most erotic things you had ever seen. “Y’know I like my hair pulled, bunny but if you keep pushing it, I’ll make sure you don’t cum at all. Let me enjoy you.”

“Okay…” You nodded quickly, hoping he wouldn’t stop altogether. “m’sorry. I’ll be good.” 

“Good.” 

Harry released your hands before grabbing a hair tie from his wrist and putting his hair up in a bun. God when he did that… it did unspeakable things to you. You watched him obsessively, frothing over the way his arms and chest stretched and flexed with every small movement. Up behind his head then back down to the bed when he settled between your thighs while staring at you with this triumphant fuckboy smile. 

“You’re so pretty, y’know that. So so pretty and all mine.” He murmured, tracing his finger through your crease while looking straight at your pussy with complete awe. Harry was fucking obsessed with you.

“Harry…”

“I know,” he sympathised, voice almost mocking at your flushed cheeks. He loved when you got nervous. “You’re so pretty when you blush, y/n.” He blew gently over your clit, sliding his two fingers back into you. 

Closing his mouth around your clit, he started pleasuring you again. He moved his tongue against you harder and curled his fingers into you with far more purpose than before. And finally, finally you were starting to feel that relief. It was exactly what you needed to start to feel that twist in your stomach and shake in your thighs… the rush before that euphoric release. Your toes were starting to curl and your fingers tightened into his hair, tugging so hard he had to dig his fingertips into your tattoo to ground himself from how desperate he was getting from his hair being played with.

“Oh god… I’m… ‘mgonna…”

And then the rush stopped, that spiraling wave freezing right before it tumbled over the cliff. Harry removed his mouth and halted his fingers, kissing over your thighs instead with an evil grin you could feel against your skin. 

“Harry” you protested, gasping while looking down at him. Your legs attempted to clam around his head and you tried to tug his mouth back to you but he easily overpowered you and used his arms to pin your thighs wide against the bed. 

“You’re cute when you’re desperate. Might be my second favourite look on you.” He bit down on your thigh, chuckling against your skin. 

“What’s the… what’s your favourite?” Your breathing felt laboured, skin already feeling a little sticky from being teased for so long.  

“When you orgasm… sometimes it’s when I’ve got you so far gone you’re fucking sobbing for me. Only like your tears when they’re because of m’cock.”

He was evil. 

Was it fucked up that knowing he liked to make you cry turned you on? 

“You’re so mean… you know I-oh” your words got caught in his throat, eyes fluttering closed again when he started tracing his tongue over your clit again. 

Harry started to tease you again, going back to that languid, gentle touching. He was enjoying every second of it too, moaning into you, using his spare hand to grab on your belly and your breasts. He pinched at your nipples before pressing against your tattoo, all to rile you up and build your orgasm again so damn slowly. 

Harry was nearly about to burst. You were so wet and so fucking sweet and though he loved having his face between your thighs for hours on end, it turned him on beyond anything else on the fucking planet. He had to keep focusing his mind elsewhere, on anything but the way your cream was coating his fingers and dripping down his palm, or how you were so fucking wet just one slide of his tongue through your crease echoed around the entire room. 

But then you got a little too sensitive, a little too desperate and tugged his hair so hard it slipped from the bun he did earlier. He was just as happy to punish you than he was to rest his face between your thighs. 

The pleasure stopped once more and you were flipped so fast onto your belly, you didn’t have an opportunity to try and wiggle away. He gathered your hands quickly in one of his so you couldn’t move and ignored your whine of his name. 

“I warned you once, y/n, and you didn’t want to listen…”

“Harry ‘m sorry. I’ll be good. I promise.” You protested, at Harry’s complete mercy. He pinned you to the bed with one hand, keeping your hands pressed to your lower back while he pulled his belt out of his belt loops. You wiggled beneath him, trying to get out of his tight grip only to be suddenly swatted with his belt over your ass.

You gasped at the sting, feeling the spot on your skin grow a heartbeat of its own. It was a warm spiced feeling, oozing down to your aching clit that Harry had teased all night. 

“You did this to yourself, bunny. I wanted to be nice and I wanted to enjoy your sweet little pussy but you couldn’t keep your hands to yourself. Could you?” Harry looped the belt around your hands then tightened it with the buckle so it was snug around your wrists. He tugged at it just to be sure you couldn’t slip out before hovering over you to kiss you gently on your shoulder. 

“Okay?” He asked, nuzzling his nose against your cheek.

“Mhmm.” You nodded.

“Colour?”

“Green.”

“Good girl.” He whispered the praise against your shoulder, kissing the middle of your back on his way back to kneel behind you. 

Harry was quick to pull your ass up off the bed until your face was pressed to the duvet, giving him the perfect access to all your pretty holes. You were practically dripping. Already edged once with no relief and now he could just taste you and bury his face without having your hands in the way. His perfect girl.

“See…” He murmured, tracing his hands over your ass. “Isn’t this better? Now I can enjoy you in peace.”

You responded with a noise of indignation, squeezing your fists when he chuckled and spanked your ass in that same spot he whacked his belt. Your skin was pulled taught with the way your chest was pressed to the bed, making the sting heavier than usual. 

Even though you whimpered and your whole body jerked at the feeling of his palm on your ass, Harry knew you enjoyed it. Just like you enjoyed being tied up.

The only reason you protested having his belt around your hands was because you hated it like this. Behind your back or pinned to your sides or thighs. You didn’t like not being able to feel him, especially when you couldn’t see him either. With Harry always gone you just wanted to touch him as much as humanly possible when he was around him.

You always had a hand on him. In his hair or scratching his back or in his pocket or intertwined with his fingers. You just needed that touch. Craved it. And now it had been taken away.

“God, you taste so fucking good, bunny.” Harry groaned, spanking your ass roughly. He spread your cheeks wide, pulling back to spit right on your tight rim of muscles before he was sucking over your clit again. “Like a fucking dream.”

He groaned against you, nuzzling his nose right against your entrance to press just hard enough to dip into you. The way he used his entire face to pleasure you was completely feral. He’d be able to smell you for days and taste your sweet sweet arousal for hours to come. That’s exactly how he liked it. 

He was completely wrapped around your clit, sucking in that perfect rhythmic pressure he knew you liked. The same pressure that had you tumbling towards an orgasm within two minutes flat. Now he seemed to be doing the opposite of his torturous teasing. He was trying to make you cum and he was doing it in the messiest, most feral way possible. 

That was somehow more evil because you had nowhere to go. You couldn’t move your hands or grab his hair, not even hold his hand until he reached for you. With the tight grip on your hips, you were pinned in his grip. You didn’t mind though, because he was finally… finally giving you that delicious pleasure. 

You were hopeful, your entire body tense and trembling. Your mouth was gaped against the bedding, soft moans muffled into the material. Until your entire world crashed and burned when it all stopped. Again. 

“No. Harry...”

“Shh, it’s okay, bunny.” Harry pressed his mouth over your ass, sliding his fingers out of you to run through your crease to your clit. “Still green?”

“Y-yes.”

“Good. Then let’s keep going, shall we?”

You lost count at how many times he edged you. After five it all turned into a blur; a teary, stinging blurr where your mind was completely in the clouds and your body felt like it was melting into a puddle. You were completely heavy in the bed, legs sore and trembling and your arms aching after being behind your back for so long. 

Every touch was torture, every flick of his tongue or suck over your clit sent your mind into orbit. You needed to come so fucking badly but there was nothing you could do to get him to let you finish. He was happy to just taste you and lick you until you were reduced to a pile of tears and sore muscles on the bed.

“Please Harry… please I need it so bad… need y’cock so so badly…” 

It wasn’t the first time you begged for it, but it was certainly the first time you cried for it. You were crying softly against the bedding, wiggling and clenching around his fingers. Your nails were digging into your palms, trying to counteract the pressure your entire lower body was facing. 

“Yeah? Wanna give it to you, bunny. So fucking bad…” Harry’s cock had been painfully sore since your fourth edge, so fucking hard he got rid of all his clothes just for some relief. His jeans were pressing so tight against his cock, he could barely handle it. 

Harry was a sadistic fuck, though and he liked the pain. He liked being sore and he liked to edge himself so when he finally got inside you and got that ultimate pleasure, the entire experience was better. He liked it when he made you come multiple times, but there was something romantic about edging you until you cried then letting you finally come when he was deep inside you and about to orgasm himself. 

Simultaneous orgasms were a rarity, but Harry liked the challenge. Often it was him timing his with yours anyway. You were terrible at holding your orgasm, practically incapable of it. That’s why edging you was so fun… Harry had complete control over it. He knew the signs of your body reaching that point without you even verbalising it and knew the exact moment to pull away before you tipped over the edge. 

And even when you cried and it was sore, your colour remained green the entire time. 

“Got me so hard f’you… just need to make sure you really want it, huh?” Harry bared his teeth against your ass cheek, biting down on one of the spots his various spontaneous spanks had made their mark. Your ass was beat red at this point, covered in teeth marks and hand prints from Harry getting too damn excited. He knew it would be sore for a couple of days, but that’s what he wanted.

He wanted his memory on your skin… and now after your tattoo, it would be. Forever. 

The thought of that was exhilarating and one of the most terrifying things in Harry’s world.

“I do… I need it so bad, Harry. Feel so empty without you… so sore…” Your words all joined together, a slur of neediness and sniffled tears. 

“Oh, I bet, bunny…” He cooed, sliding his fingers out of you before sucking them clean. He then moved up on his knees behind you to gently undo the belt from your wrists. “Bet you’re so sensitive n’sore, aren’t you?” He threw the belt to the side, massaging your wrists in his hand to soothe the reddened skin.

You just nodded against the bedding, curling your fingers back to hold his hands. He sighed at the sight, leaning down to quickly kiss your fingers before rolling you on your back. 

“Aw, baby. Look at you all teary-eyed…” Harry cupped your cheek, letting your legs fall wide on the bed as he wiped the tears from under your eye. With his other hand, he grabbed his cock and guided it to your pussy, sliding the head through your folds. His teeth gritted at the sensitivity on his desperate cock and he was trying so hard to not lose all strength in his body just at that one little touch. He was the one desperate now.

“Y’look so pretty like this… fucking gorgeous you are…”

“Harry…” You sighed, holding onto his wrist with one hand while grabbing his hip with the other. Just the feeling of his cock through your folds was heavenly, a sign that you’d finally get to come. 

“I love the way you say my name, pretty girl. Like a fucking angel… shit”

His hand slid down your face to your neck, looping around it in a loose hold while he pressed his tip to your entrance and slowly eased his way in. Your pussy was so sensitive from all his teasing and he could tell too. Your cry was loud and your nails dug deep into his hip. He was addicted to the feeling. 

“Shit… oh god…” You whined out, head thrown back against the bedding. Your mouth was wide in a pant, chest heaving just at the feeling of him bottoming out inside of you. His cock was always an adjustment… thick and long and fuck, every time you thought of it your mind went a little dizzy.

It ached to have him inside you without being edged so much and now it was like a hot fire in your womb. Your clit was aching, your belly was aching, and everything was so tightly strung all you wanted was just to be fucked. Even if you were more sensitive than ever, you just needed to be fucked hard into the bed. 

No teasing. Nothing. You just wanted him to fuck you until you came undone around him. 

“Fuck me… please, Harry just fuck me…” your words came in a rushed, desperate plea; your hips jutting to try and get him to move.

“Fuck, bunny. Got a filthy fucking mouth, don’t you…” Harry cursed, tightening his grip around your neck. “I’ll fuck you, alright. I’ll give you exactly what you want…”

He started rocking his hips against you, wasting no time to get to a steady, bruising pace. It was hips snapping against hips, your thighs wide on the bed while he used his hand around your neck for balance. His balls slapped against your ass and his noises of pleasure were so goddamn erotic you knew you’d never forget the sound of them.

It was euphoric. 

“God baby, you feel so fucking good wrapped around me. And you’re all mine, aren’t you? All fucking mine…” Harry grunted, gritting his teeth to try and stop himself from finishing too fast. He was practically going to burst the moment his cock slid inside you. “And this…” He pressed his palm to your thigh, heavily running his thumb over your tattoo… “is so sexy… so fucking sexy…”

Neither of you seemed to care about the fact he had fresh stitches and a fresh bullet wound because the way he was fucking you was too good to care about something that could be so easily fixed. That pain in his abdomen did very little to stop him from giving you the fucking you deserved, even if that meant he’d have to sit through another angry stitching done by you.

Hopefully, this time you weren’t as angry or as rough with him… though he wouldn’t have minded if it meant he’d have you again like this.

You couldn’t even respond to him because it felt like your mouth had disconnected from your brain. Your body was so overstimulated that your mind could barely function. But you could drag him down with two hands on his jaw and kiss him. It was messy and uncoordinated but that didn’t even matter. All that mattered was that his body was on yours and you felt the closeness you had craved since the moment he tied your wrists behind your back.

“I love you… I love you so much…” You murmured, already feeling your orgasm approach again. It hardly took any time, not when he was fucking you so good and so hard. He felt deeper than ever before, so deep you could feel that deep pit in your stomach start to churn. It was a feeling that didn’t happen very often, but one both you and Harry reaped the benefits of. 

“I love you so much, angel. My love forever and always.” Harry groaned into your mouth, gathering your hands in his and intertwining your fingers together. He pushed on either side of your head, pressing them into the bedding as he started to kiss along your jaw and neck to get a bit of air. 

The dirty talk kept spilling out of his mouth, some coherent and others just desperate strung together sentences that made your head spiral and your pussy clench around his cock. He had a way with words, both in and out of the bedroom and it never failed to knock you to the fucking floor.

That deep churning in your pit only grew and started to press right against your clit. You could feel the pressure building and building until it felt like you were going to burst. Your clit was aching; a pinching white-hot pleasure beating from it like it had its own heartbeat.

“Oh… shit… shit. Harry… ‘m gonna… ‘m gonna squirt” The words barely got out, all thrown together in a loud cry right in his ear before you felt the damn burst from inside of you. 

It rolled over you in a crash. An initial euphoric crash of pleasure hitting your body from all angles. Waves and waves of pure ecstasy made your thighs tremble and your toes curl. Your whole body shook as the first spray of your arousal hit Harry’s lower belly and with every squirt after, another jolt of electricity.

“Shit baby. Good fucking girl. Fucking hell…” Harry cursed, grinding his hips against you to try and draw as much of your orgasm through. He felt it coat his cock and the hairs at his base, dripping down to his balls until it started to dampen the bedding beneath you. “Jesus, bunny. ‘M gonna cum… Can I?...”

“Want it… want it inside, please…” you whimpered, squeezing his hands tight as the pleasure started to die down to a low beat in your clit.

Harry’s mouth smushed against yours as he fucked himself once more inside of you, groaning against you as his body trembled above you. You could feel the hot bliss of his come filling you to the brim and the sudden weight of him on top of you when he let himself relax against your body.

“Shit, bunny…” He sighed, dropping his forehead to the crook of your neck. 

You were both exhausted. Your skin was damp and sticky and the bed below you felt exactly the same. It was a mess. You were a mess and yet you were the happiest you could’ve been. Sore muscles and a fire beating on your ass and fresh tattoo meant nothing compared to the fulfilment you had just being with Harry. 

“Are you okay?” He whispered after a moment of silence, resting his chin on your chest to look at you. He needed to collect himself before he checked on you so he was physically able to take care of you and provide whatever you needed. He definitely needed to have a shower or bath with you and rub some cream on your wrists and bum.

“I’m good,” You whispered back, smiling softly at him. “A little sore but so good… are you okay?”

“I’m perfect,” he smiled and softly kissed your sweaty skin, “can I pull out now?”

With a small nod, he gently pulled himself out of you and then started your normal routine. He went to get some water and a damp towel to clean you both up and then returned to clean you while you guzzled the entire thing. Some nights you two jumped in the shower straight away, but that was only if you weren’t going to have another round or were prepared to change the sheets at the same time.

Tonight wasn’t one of those nights. After you went to the bathroom quickly you returned and you both curled into each other’s arms to have your usual pillow talk. It was your favourite part of sleeping together because it was often when the truth came out or you found out more things about him. You loved that.

“I still can’t believe you did this…” Harry murmured, looking down at the tattoo. He traced his fingers over it, looking at it obsessively.

“Was it too much? Be honest…”

“What?” Harry was a little taken aback and looked up at you with a furrowed expression, “Never. Fucking unexpected but I love it,” he reached up to grab your cheek and you immediately nuzzled into it, holding your hand over his, “I love you, y/n. I don’t say it often enough but I do. And I want you in my life, I just don’t know how to do it. I don’t know how to keep you safe.”

“Let me come with you.” You responded, “next time you go back to the city, let me come. I want to see where you live and… I don’t know, maybe meet your friends? Or…” you felt a little embarrassed at the next words that came out of your mouth, but you weren’t exactly sure how else to say it, “work colleagues…”

Harry cracked the biggest fucking grin at how you phrased it, but he tried to not laugh so he wouldn’t embarrass you. “Alright. Tomorrow. I’ll take you back with me.”

“Tomorrow?” You blinked, not expecting him to just willingly agree like that.

“Yes. I don’t have a job until Thursday so we’ll have a couple of days together. But that’s only if you don’t have college or wo-”

“I don’t.” You interrupted quickly, knowing very well you did have university and work. Harry knew that too, he just wanted to see if you’d really skip a few days of responsibility for him. “I’d love to go.”

Harry smirked, nearly getting all worked up again at the thought of his angel skipping classes just to spend time with him. “Good…” He then cleared his throat and sat up so he could look at you, “I want you to have this.”

He removed his signature cross necklace from around his neck and motioned for you to sit up as well. “Harry… I couldn’t”

“You can.” He pressed, placing the necklace over your head. He eyed the way it fell right between your breasts and pulled your hair out from underneath it so it wouldn’t get tangled. “Always wear this, y/n. I mean it. The moment I take you into the city there will be people who care that you know me and they’ll use it against me.” Harry played with the cross between two fingers, rubbing his thumb over the front of it, “Wearing this… it’s a protection.”

“How?...” You whispered, looking between the necklace and his gorgeous green eyes.

“Because this-” his hand fell to your thigh, squeezing over the plastic film of your tattoo, “-tells me that you’re mine and this-” he grabbed the chain again, tugging it ever so slightly, “tells the entire fucking world.”

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[ijustmissyouraccenths]

I Want To Kill Her

Au where Y/N and Harry are neighbors who find out their spouses are cheating with each other.

Based off Fortnight by Taylor Swift

Part 2

CW: Smut, cursing, unprotected sex, slight breeding kink.

Word Count: 6,773

Growing up in America was a constant uphill battle for me. Every day, my family's lower middle class status weighed heavily on our shoulders, dragging us down and suffocating any sense of hope. Despite my parents' relentless efforts, we were always one step away from financial ruin. At school, I was painfully reminded of my economic disadvantage as I trudged through the halls in threadbare clothes and drove up in a battered car that served as a target for cruel jokes and vicious teasing from my more privileged peers. But amidst the constant struggle, I found refuge in my studies. The world of academia offered a fleeting escape from the harsh realities of my daily life, where I poured all my energy into excelling and proving my worth to a society that seemed determined to keep me down.

Life in our small town was like a broken record, repeating the same monotonous routine day after day. That is, until Teddy waltzed into our midst like a breath of fresh air. His tall frame stood out amongst the sea of ordinary faces, and his crisp British accent was music to our ears. The local coffee shop suddenly became a buzz of excitement as he charmed everyone with his wit and sophistication. And when he extended an invitation for me to join him in London, it was like a fairytale come to life. Leaving my predictable life behind and starting anew in the bustling city seemed intimidating, but I couldn't resist the allure of adventure and passion that awaited me with Teddy by my side.

My hand shook as I clutched the small, worn suitcase. Tears welled up in my eyes as I said goodbye to my family and familiar life. But deep down, a sense of determination propelled me forward. I took a deep breath and stepped onto the plane bound for London. As the engines roared and the wheels lifted off the ground, a knot formed in my stomach and my heart raced with a mix of emotions - fear of the unknown, excitement for new adventures, and anticipation for what lay ahead.

I pressed my forehead against the cool, double-paned window and watched as familiar buildings and streets grew smaller and smaller. A sense of relief washed over me, lifting the weight of my past struggles and hardships with every mile we flew away from them. Little did I know, the journey ahead would be filled with new challenges and lessons that would shape me into the person I was always meant to become.

As we soared higher into the sky, thick clouds began to spread like a blanket over the vast expanse of blue. The world below disappeared from view, hidden by layers of white. But as we descended towards London, small patches of land began to peek through - rolling hills covered in lush green fields and charming villages nestled along winding rivers. My heart fluttered with excitement and curiosity at this glimpse of a foreign land.

The wheels touched down on the runway, jolting me out of my daydreams. I took a deep breath as we taxied towards the terminal, ready to embark on this new chapter of my life in a place that felt both unfamiliar and full of endless possibilities.

The bright lights of London beckoned me, a stark contrast to the small town I left behind. Teddy, my generous host, had spared no expense to make me feel at home in his lavish house. Each morning, I woke up to stunning views of the city skyline through floor-to-ceiling windows. The enticing scent of freshly baked pastries and rich coffee filled my nostrils, reminding me that this was a life of luxury that I never could have imagined.

But what truly amazed me was the fact that I no longer had to work. Teddy's successful business ventures meant that money was no longer a worry for me. This newfound wealth allowed me to indulge in all the things I could only dream about before. My wardrobe was now filled with designer clothes, fancy dinners were a regular occurrence, and luxurious vacations were just a plane ride away.

However, amidst all this extravagance and joy, there was always a twinge of guilt in the back of my mind. Growing up, every penny counted and financial struggles were a constant source of stress for my family. Now, with my newfound wealth, I couldn't help but feel guilty for having so much while others back home still struggled to make ends

I fiercely pushed all doubts and apprehensions aside, determined to fully surrender myself to my newfound life. And by all appearances, I succeeded. Teddy whisked me away on dazzling tours of the city, revealing hidden gems and indulging in the finest cuisine known only to elites. He also opened the door to his elite circle of friends – powerful individuals who radiated confidence and wealth wherever they went.

At first, I felt like a mere observer among them. While they boasted about their latest investments and business ventures, I could only offer anecdotes about my humble beginnings in a small town. But as weeks turned into months, they welcomed me into their exclusive inner circle. They even included us on extravagant trips abroad where we mingled with A-list celebrities and attended VIP events.

I couldn't believe how rapidly my life had transformed since meeting Teddy. Where once I was ridiculed for not fitting in with the wealthy crowd, now I lived among them, basking in their luxurious lifestyle.

But amidst all the glitz and glamour, a persistent voice gnawed at the back of my mind. It started one afternoon while Teddy was tending to the front yard. On the surface, it seemed like an ordinary chore for a homeowner, but something about it felt insidious and unsettling.

Despite the hired help we had to maintain our lavish property, Teddy insisted on taking care of menial tasks himself. At first, I thought it was just his need to be hands-on, but as the days turned into weeks, I couldn't ignore the way his eyes lingered on the woman next door. Every time she stepped outside in her form-fitting gardening attire, he would drop whatever he was doing and watch her with an unbridled hunger. Her movements were like a sensual dance, each step oozing with an irresistible seduction that captivated him. She seemed to know exactly how to entice him, bending over suggestively in her garden while his eyes greedily took in every curve of her body. But when her husband's luxury car pulled into their driveway, she would become a picture of innocence once again. It was a tantalizing game of desire and secrecy, leaving me wondering what they truly did behind closed doors.

Rosie, the woman of the house, was a force to be reckoned with, her love and dedication to her garden rivaling that of a mother's fierce protection for her child. Harry, her husband and successful entrepreneur, exuded a confident aura as he walked through their flourishing gardens, the beauty brand he created known by all as Pleasing. Despite our similar ages, their maturity and put-together appearance made me feel inadequate in comparison. Our own home seemed dull and lifeless in comparison to theirs, always offering an unobstructed view of Rosie's constant tending to her bountiful gardens, a sight that also caught my husband's wandering eyes. But it was impossible to deny the allure of their well-manicured gardens, bursting with vibrant hues and intoxicating scents that enveloped us in a hypnotic trance. 

Each passing week brought a new wave of torment as I watched Teddy's eyes dart towards Rosie's garden, his gaze lingering on her while she tended to her roses. My stomach twisted with jealousy as he made excuses to be outside, his every move calculated to catch her attention.

I couldn't bear the thought of him longing for someone else, and my heart shattered into pieces with each stolen glance towards her. Desperate for answers, I confronted him about their relationship, but he dismissed my fears with a cold indifference and insisted they were just innocent neighbors. But deep down, I knew there was something more between them, and it consumed me with a fiery rage that threatened to consume us all.

As I relaxed in the comfort of my home, the noise from outside suddenly jolted me out of my reverie. My eyes snapped to the window overlooking the busy street below, and there I saw Harry's sleek black Mercedes screeching into their driveway, its engine roaring wildly. Rosie appeared in the doorway, her movements frantic as she planted a forced kiss on his cheek before ushering him inside with an urgency that made my heart race. The door slammed shut behind them, and a foreboding sense of dread settled in my gut as I realized that something was seriously wrong between them. Whatever was happening, they were clearly trying to hide it from prying eyes.

My heart raced with a mix of excitement and dread as I made my way downstairs, my curiosity burning like a wildfire. The front door slammed behind me, the sun setting in a fiery blaze behind my back. My feet carried me across the short distance between our homes, anticipation building with each step. As I approached their front step, muffled voices drifted through the open window above me, a sinister soundtrack to my racing thoughts. I could make out Harry's tense tone and Rosie's pleading replies, but not the words themselves. Their hushed argument went on for what seemed like an eternity before falling silent, leaving me standing frozen in shock. My mind raced as I tried to piece together what was happening. Had my suspicions been correct after all? Were Rosie and Teddy entangled in a secret affair that Harry had finally uncovered? The weight of the truth hit me like a sledgehammer, filling me with a mix of anger, betrayal, and fear for what would

My thoughts were racing as I tried to decide what to do next, but before I could make a move, the front door swung open with a loud bang. My heart jolted in my chest as Harry stormed out, his face contorted with either seething anger or burning embarrassment - it was hard to tell which was more intense. He didn't even spare me a glance as he brushed past, heading straight for his car.

Just then, Rosie appeared in the doorway, her eyes widening in shock when she saw me standing there. Her cheeks were flushed and her hair was a wild mess, betraying some sort of frantic activity behind closed doors. "Oh...I-I didn't realize you were home," she stammered, her voice trembling with unease. She attempted a smile, but it fell short and I could see the fear in her eyes.

Before I could ask what was going on, Teddy burst out of our house and called out my name. He sprinted towards us from across the street, his brows furrowed with concern as he took in the sight of Rosie and I standing together. The tense atmosphere was thick between us all, and I knew something serious was about to go down.

"What's going on?" he demanded, his voice laced with concern as he eyed us both suspiciously.

I shifted uncomfortably under his gaze, my mind racing with conflicting thoughts and emotions. "I honestly don't know," I admitted, feeling like a pawn in their complicated game. "Do you?"

Teddy and Rosie exchanged a tense look that spoke volumes about their troubled relationship. I could sense the weight of their secrets and lies pressing down on me, suffocating me with their toxic grip. Without another word, I turned and fled back inside, trying to escape the tangled web of deceit and betrayal they had woven around me. My once glamorous new life now felt tainted with suspicion and heartache.

I slam the door shut behind me, my hands trembling with rage and disbelief. My worst fears have been confirmed - Teddy and Rosie were having an affair all along, right under my naive nose. A surge of hot tears fills my eyes as I collapse onto the couch, my heart hammering in my chest. How could he do this to me? After all we've built together, all the love and trust we shared. 

My mind races back through the past few months, dissecting every encounter between them that I had brushed off as innocent. His lingering looks at her, her secret smiles directed only at him, their hushed conversations that would abruptly end whenever I appeared. The pieces finally fit together, a puzzle of betrayal and deceit that I was too blind to see. How long has it been going on? Was it when he started staying late at work for that promotion? Or when our once effortless conversations turned into strained silence over dinner? My world is shattered, and I can't help but wonder if it was ever truly as perfect as I believed it to be.

My body curls in on itself, a protective barrier against the pain that radiates through me. My mind is stuck on replay, the tense exchange between them echoing endlessly in my head. Rosie's desperate pleas, Harry's explosive anger - it all points to betrayal. 

The tears fall hot and heavy down my cheeks as I realize I can no longer ignore the truth. My heart aches with every beat, but I know I have to confront Teddy. Pretending everything is okay between us is no longer an option. 

As I stand up and make my way to the front window, I catch a glimpse of Teddy crossing back over to our house, his defeated posture screaming guilt. The anger and hurt fueling my determination, I take a deep breath and brace myself for the inevitable confrontation. 

When Teddy steps into our living room, the air crackles with tension like static electricity before a storm. The unspoken truths between us hang heavily, suffocatingly thick like a dense fog. 

"Why don't you just admit it, Teddy?" My voice trembles with a mix of rage and despair.

He responds with words sharp as shattered glass, "Admit what? That you're so blinded by your own insecurity that you'd accuse me without any proof?" His betrayal cuts deep, adding more pieces to the already broken shards of my heart.

My hands balled into fists at my sides, knuckles turning white as I struggled to contain the raging storm inside me. "Don't you dare try to twist this around on me! I saw you, Teddy. I saw the way your eyes linger on her, like she's the only thing that matters."

Teddy's jaw clenched and his calm façade cracked, giving way to a simmering anger. "You're being paranoid. Rosie is just a friend, nothing more."

I took a step closer, my voice dripping with venom. "Oh please, spare me your excuses. I've seen how you look at her when you think I'm not looking."

Fury burned bright in his eyes, his voice rising in a challenge. "How dare you accuse me of cheating? I would never do that to you!"

Tears threatened to spill over as I shook my head in disbelief, my heart shattering into a million pieces. "It's not just about today, Teddy. It's been building up for months. The way you ignore me and shower her with attention... It's like I'm invisible to you now."

He scoffed, a bitter laugh escaping him. "Oh please, stop playing the victim here. You knew what you were getting into when we moved here.You want me to make you feel like you exist? Do you want me to fuck you? What do you want? You’re so needy you put your issues onto other women."

My nails dug into my palms as I fought to keep my composure in the face of his callous words. "I thought I was getting into a life with someone who loved and respected me. Not someone who sneaks around behind my back to screw the neighbor."

The tension in the room reached its breaking point as Teddy's mask slipped completely, revealing the raw emotions seething beneath the surface. "Maybe if you were more exciting, more adventurous, I wouldn't have to look elsewhere for some excitement in my life!"

His words struck me like a physical blow, leaving me reeling in disbelief and pain. The truth hung heavy in the air between us, an invisible barrier that seemed impossible to breach.

"I can't do this anymore," I whispered hoarsely, the finality of those words echoing like a gunshot in the silent room.

Teddy's expression softened for a fleeting moment before hardening once again with resolve. "Fine then! Maybe this is for the best. Actually, yeah it is. Bitch." he spat out, his voice laced with bitterness.

And with those parting words echoing in my ears like a curse, I turned away from him and headed towards the door, leaving behind our shattered dreams and broken promises in a trail of fractured memories.

The low hum of the engine filled the air as Harry sat in his sleek, black car, parked precisely outside of his modern fortress. I approached cautiously, trying to mask my trembling steps on the pavement. With a gentle tap on the window, I could feel his intense gaze burning through me from within the tinted glass. His phone slipped from his hand as he rolled down the window, revealing a sharp jawline and piercing eyes that seemed to glow with an otherworldly intensity. A commanding voice cut through the silence, "Get in." Without hesitation, I made my way around to the passenger side and sank into the plush leather seat next to him, feeling a mix of fear and excitement coursing through my veins.

As we drove away from the chaotic scene behind us, the tension in the car was suffocating. Every muscle in Harry's body seemed to be coiled with a fierce determination, his knuckles turning white as they gripped the steering wheel. I stole a quick glance at him, noticing how his usually calm demeanor was replaced by a dangerous edge, like a predator ready to strike at any moment.

A heavy silence hung in the air of the car, suffocating me as I struggled to catch my breath. Harry's voice pierced through the tension like a sharp blade, cutting deep into my racing thoughts. "Are you okay?" he asked, his expression etched with genuine concern.

I tried to speak, but my throat felt constricted and choked. Finally, I managed to whisper, "I don't know." My mind was reeling from the events that had unfolded only moments ago.

Harry's eyes remained fixed on the road ahead, his words heavy with understanding. "Life has a way of throwing unexpected challenges at us," he mused, his tone grave and contemplative. "But it's how we handle them that defines who we are."

I turned to look at him, grateful for his steady presence amid the chaos raging inside me. "Thank you," I said earnestly. "For being here for me."

A faint smile tugged at the corners of Harry's lips, but there was a glint of steel in his gaze. "You don't have to thank me," he replied firmly. "I'm here because I care about you and because your husband is sleeping with my wife." His reassurance was met with a sense of relief and gratitude amidst the turmoil that threatened to consume me.

The stillness between us was palpable, a fragile thread holding back a storm of emotions. The road stretched out before us, winding through fields and forests, as if it were leading us towards a new beginning.

My heart felt heavy with the weight of our shared past, but in this moment, with Harry by my side, I could feel a glimmer of hope for the future. Together, we drove into the unknown, leaving behind the pain and hurt that had consumed us.

But as we reached our destination - a rundown motel in the middle of nowhere - the tension returned. Harry's exhaustion and frustration were etched on his face as he turned to me.

"I know neither of us want to go home right now," he said, his voice laced with bitterness. "For fuck's sake, they're probably sexing each other up as we speak.." A surge of anger and betrayal rose within me at his words. "Let's just stay here for the night, maybe two. We can regroup and come up with a plan." His proposal hung in the air like a dark cloud, reminding us both of the uncertain future that lay ahead. But one thing was certain - we wouldn't have to face it alone.

My voice caught in my throat, unable to form words as I simply nodded, a tight knot of fear and anger coiling in my stomach. My body trembled with the intensity of the situation. We both knew that any misstep could cause everything to spiral out of control. The motel seemed like a fitting backdrop for our strained emotions, its dilapidated exterior reflecting the state of our relationship. The neon lights flickering ominously, casting a sickly glow over the peeling paint and broken windows. But even this rundown place offered some respite from the suffocating chaos and turmoil surrounding us.

Panicked and unprepared for the situation I found myself in, I regretted not packing a change of clothes as my heart raced and my mind spun with fear. The events that had just unfolded left me gasping for air, struggling to stay afloat in a sea of chaos. As we rushed into the rundown motel, I couldn't help but scan our surroundings, searching for any sign of danger. The flickering lights and musty smell only added to the ominous atmosphere. Harry snatched the key from the grimy front desk man and led us down a dimly lit hallway to our room. My anxiety spiked when they informed us that the only available room featured a single king-sized bed. My nerves were on edge at the thought of sharing such an intimate space with Harry, his intimidating presence looming over me like a dark cloud.

As we stepped into the dimly lit motel room, the tension between Harry and me was palpable, hanging heavy in the air like a thick fog. I could feel his eyes on me, assessing, judging.

"I'll take the floor," Harry offered gruffly, breaking the silence that had settled between us like a heavy blanket.

I shook my head, unable to accept his sacrifice. "No, we can share the bed. It's fine," I replied softly, trying to ease some of the strain that weighed on us both.

Harry hesitated for a moment before nodding curtly. "Alright then."

The room felt suffocatingly small as we settled in, the walls seeming to press in on us from all sides. The shadows danced ominously in the dim light, casting eerie shapes across the worn carpet.

"I never thought we'd end up here," I mused quietly, breaking the somber stillness that enveloped us.

Harry's voice was gruff as he responded, "Life has a funny way of throwing curveballs at you when you least expect it."

A bitter chuckle escaped my lips. "Seems like we're both striking out lately."

We sat in silence for a while, the weight of our complicated situation hanging heavily over us. The sound of distant traffic seeping through the thin walls served as a reminder of the world outside our little bubble of chaos.

Finally, Harry spoke again, his voice softer this time. "I'm sorry you're going through this. You deserve better."

I turned to look at him, meeting his gaze for the first time since we had arrived. There was a vulnerability in his eyes that caught me off guard.

"Thank you," I whispered, feeling a flicker of warmth amidst the cold despair that had settled in my heart. We sat side by side on the edge of the bed, two broken souls seeking solace in each other's company. 

We sat in silence for a while longer, the weight of our circumstances still heavy on our shoulders but somehow more bearable with each other's presence. The flickering lights outside cast fleeting shadows across the room, adding a sense of fleeting impermanence to our shared moment of respite.

"I'm glad you're here," Harry spoke up suddenly, his voice genuine and heartfelt.

Tears welled up in my eyes at his words, grateful for the unexpected bond that had formed between us in the midst of turmoil. "Me too," I whispered, feeling a sense of hope blooming in my heart despite the challenges ahead.

And so we sat together in the dimly lit motel room, two souls seeking solace in each other's company amidst the chaos that threatened to tear us apart.

My phone began to buzz incessantly in my hand, Teddy's name flashing on the screen. I couldn't bear to see his name or hear his voice, so I forcefully shut off my phone and flung it across the room with a violent toss. As it clattered against the wall, Harry's quiet voice pierced through the air.

"She called me too," he seethed, his fists clenched at his side. "In this moment, I could kill her."

I nodded in agreement, my blood boiling with rage. "Teddy had the audacity to accuse me of being jealous and then suggest that if he just fucked me, my jealousy would disappear," I spat out, feeling both hurt and incensed by his words.

Harry's voice dripped with desire as he turned towards me, his gaze burning into my skin. "Would it?" His words were a challenge, daring me to answer. I could feel the heat radiating off his body as he leaned in closer.

I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. "Would what?"

A smirk played at the corners of his lips as he spoke the words that sent a shiver down my spine. "If he fucked you, would you still be so jealous?"

My heart raced at the vulgar question and I let out a nervous laugh. Shaking my head, I replied, "No, Harry. Nothing could change how I feel."

He let out a deep sigh, frustration evident in his voice. "The timing of this is fucking terrible. I've always thought you were stunning, wondered what you saw in a guy like him. And I know I could give it to you so much better."

Our eyes locked in a heated moment and I couldn't deny the sparks that flew between us. But as tempting as his offer was, I knew I couldn't betray my feelings for another man.

I glanced up at him through my lashes and saw the raw intensity in his gaze. It was clear that he wanted me. But we both knew it could never be more than a forbidden fantasy.

“What if we had our own affair, you know, to get back at them.” He said with a smirk.

My heart pounded in my chest like a wild animal in a cage at his words. An affair? The thought sent waves of scandalous delight and sinful anticipation coursing through my veins.

"An affair, Harry?" I repeated tentatively, my voice barely above a whisper. His dark eyes were locked onto mine, the intensity of his gaze making my breath hitch in my throat. The charged silence that hung between us was as intoxicating as the raw desire smoldering in his gaze.

Leaning closer, Harry's lips brushed against my earlobe as he whispered huskily, "Yes, an affair, just like what they did. Us, sneaking around, feeling each others bodies." His hot breath fanned over me, causing goosebumps to rise on my skin.

The room seemed to shrink around us as Harry moved impossibly closer, his hand finding its way to my knee. I watched as his fingers traced patterns along my thigh, desire flooding me with each small movement.

Harry's thumb traced a line up towards the apex of my thighs, igniting sparks wherever it made contact with my flesh through the thin material of my skirt. My body instinctively rose to meet him and I let out a soft gasp.

"You want this," he murmured heatedly against my neck before nipping lightly at the sensitive skin there. A delicious shiver ran down my spine and my core clenched at his actions. 

"I...I..." I stuttered, struggling for words as heat pooled low in my belly. He chuckled darkly at my loss for words before returning his attention back to where his hand had slowly began creeping upwards again. His warm touch was like an electric shock, leaving behind a trail of molten desire.

Without another word, Harry pushed up my skirt and slipped his hand into my panties. His fingers brushed lightly against me and I sucked in a sharp breath, feeling a jolt of pleasure shoot straight to my core. He grinned wickedly at me and slowly began to stroke me, his skilled fingers setting my senses ablaze.

"Harry," I moaned out, clutching at his arm as he expertly worked me into a bundle of nerves. His low chuckle did nothing to ease the escalating tension.

His finger easily slipped inside me, making me whimper at the sudden intrusion. Harry pumped his digits inside me slowly at first, but quickly sped up when I let out a needy gasp. The pleasure was overwhelming and soon enough, I clenched around him, a shuddering orgasm ripping through me.

I fell back onto the bed, panting heavily as aftershocks still tingled throughout my body. Harry wiped his glistening fingers on my skirt before smoothly pulling it back down. He then lay next to me on the bed, his smirk evident in the dim light.

"That's just a taste," he said with a wicked glint in his eyes. 

"I can't wait to claim you as mine," Harry whispered in my ear, his hot breath sending shivers down my spine. My heart raced as he trailed kisses along my jaw and down my neck, stopping to suckle a tender spot just below my earlobe. His hands moved sensually over my body, teasingly tracing patterns on my skin before gripping me tighter.

Desperate for more of his touch, I moaned and arched into him. He took that as an invitation and gripped the hem of my shirt, pulling it up over my head roughly. "Fuck," he muttered under his breath when he saw me bare-chested for the first time. I blushed at his appreciation but internally preened at his reaction.

"You're so fucking beautiful," he growled lowly before capturing one of my nipples between his lips and sucking hard. My back bowed off the bed as I let out a keening whimper, my fingers tangling in his hair. He had a way of making me feel wanted and desired like no one ever had before.

He moved lower, kissing and licking his way down my stomach until he reached the hem of my skirt. With a swift movement, he yanked it up over my hips, baring me completely to him. His eyes darkened even more when they met mine again, full of lust and possession.

"Spread your legs for me," he commanded softly yet authoritatively. I hesitated for only a moment before complying with his request, feeling incredibly exposed but also powerfully aroused by the thought of pleasing him in any way possible.

Harry took advantage of this vulnerability by thrusting two fingers deep inside me without any warning or preparation. I gasped at the intrusion but didn't stop him from exploring deeper within me. Instead, I clenched around his fingers instinctively while moaning out his name in ecstasy. He chuckled softly against my inner thigh before reaching between our bodies to stroke himself in time with his rhythmic fingering of me.

"You're so tight," he groaned approvingly. 

As Harry thrust his fingers deeper into me, I couldn't help but moan louder. His fingers curled inside me, searching for my sweet spot while his other hand gripped my hip firmly. My body shuddered with pleasure as we moved together in this intense rhythm.

"You feel so good," I whispered between breaths. "Please don't stop."

He chuckled darkly before biting down softly on the lobe of my ear, sending a jolt of excitement through me. His hips picked up speed, grinding against me as he groaned in approval.

"That's it, baby girl," he growled. "Take what you want."

His words ignited something deep within me, making me even more hungry for his touch. I didn't hesitate to wrap my legs around his waist and pull him closer still. Our skin slapped together in sync with each swift thrust and retreat as we moved together like two bodies meant to be one.

"Oh fuck, you're driving me wild," he whispered into my ear before grabbing a fistful of my hair and pulling my head back sharply. The sudden sting shot straight to my core, intensifying every sensation tenfold. He released my hair just as quickly and crashed his lips onto mine in a demanding kiss that left me panting for air.

We moved from the couch to bed floor where he pushed me down onto all fours before kneeling behind me. One hand gripped the base of my spine while the other caressed its way up my inner thigh towards my core again. He teased me mercilessly with his fingers as he trailed hot kisses down my spine and back up again, sending shivers of anticipation through my entire body.

"I know I'll fuck you like you’ve never been fucked before," he muttered darkly into my ear just before slamming himself deep inside me from behind in one powerful stroke that made me cry out loudly at both surprise and pleasure. In response, he gripped both sides of my face roughly yet tenderly and claimed my mouth once more in a fiery kiss that went on forever or at least it felt like it did until our bodies became entwined.

I could feel his cock hardening in his pants and I needed it no matter how wrong it was.

He gripped my hair tightly and pulled my head back, exposing my neck. His hot breath sent shivers down my spine as he whispered, "You're mine to fuck however I want." Wanting more than anything to feel his cock deep inside me, I moaned in agreement.

Pushing me against the bed, he roughly lifted one of my legs and wrapped it around his waist. With his free hand, he pushed his hard and heavy cock into me. I cried out at the intense pleasure shooting through my body as he began to thrust slowly yet powerfully in and out of me.

"Say you want it," he growled against my ear. "Tell me how much you need it."

"Please," I whimpered. "Fuck me hard."

His answering groan sent a wave of heat coursing through my veins as he slammed into me with all his might, claiming my mind and body as his own. The force of each thrust sent jolts of electricity through every nerve ending i body, leaving me breathless and begging for more.

As he continued to pound into me, I couldn't help but moan his name. His thick cock stretched and filled me, hitting my sweet spot with each powerful thrust. I felt my walls start to quake, ready to explode with pleasure as he took control of our encounter.

"That's it," he growled, nipping at my earlobe. "Just let go."

I clung to him tighter, my nails digging into his skin as I surrendered to the intensity of our lovemaking. Every muscle in my body was on edge, waiting for the release that felt so close yet so far away.

He changed positions again, lifting me up and pushing me against the wall. His other hand gripped my hair tightly as he claimed my mouth roughly in a deep, passionate kiss. My legs wrapped around his waist instinctively as he began to thrust even harder into me. It felt so dirty yet so good to be taken like this.

"You are mine," he whispered harshly between breaths. "Only mine. I bet your husband would be fucking dumbfounded when he sees you filled up with my babies."

His words sent shivers down my spine, and I couldn't help but nod in agreement as he took control completely. This was exactly what I needed - someone strong who would make me feel wanted and taken care of. 

As we moved together in sync, lost in the heat of passion and desire, I whispered back to him between gasps for air, "Please...don't stop."

He replied by grabbing hold of my ass cheeks and squeezing them tightly as he thrust deeper into me. His rough skin rubbed against mine, sending tingling sensations all over my body. With every push and pull, our hips collided, echoing throughout the room.

I could feel him growing harder inside me, straining against the thin fabric separating us. The anticipation was killing me - I needed him to release that cock and fill me up completely. As if reading my mind, he pulled away from me suddenly and spun me around so that I was facing the wall again.

"Not yet," he growled into my ear before reaching down and teasing my entrance with his thumbs. He pushed one finger inside me slowly, then another, stretching me open until three fingers were buried deep inside me. I arched my back involuntarily as wave after wave of pleasure coursed through my veins at his tender ministrations on my most sensitive spot.

“Where is your damn phone?” Harry demanded, his voice dripping with urgency. I struggled to lift my head off the bed and weakly pointed to the device lying on the floor. Without hesitation, he leapt from the bed and strode over to it.

A sinister grin spread across his face as he unlocked the phone and shoved his thumb into my mouth, ordering me to suck on it. With a twisted sense of satisfaction, he flipped the phone and snapped a selfie, making sure to capture the tattoos inked on his arm for identification. His next move was ruthless as he pulled up my text messages and sent the photo to Teddy, effectively sending a clear message of dominance over me.

"I'll make sure that bastard knows what he's missing out on," Harry growls, his eyes filled with possessive rage. "You're too good for him, love. A fucking goddess like you deserves to be worshipped and adored, not tossed aside like a used toy." I feel a mix of anger and satisfaction as I realize that I don't need Teddy anymore, not after the wild and passionate night I just had with Harry. He makes me feel alive in a way no one else ever has.

Harry threw the phone back onto the bed, his eyes never leaving mine. I could see the fire in his gaze, the intensity of his desire for me. He reached out and ran a hand through my hair, gently tugging on it as he leaned in to kiss me. His lips were soft, but his touch was firm, demanding. I responded eagerly, meeting his kiss with equal passion.

As we kissed, Harry's hands began to wander, exploring my body with a familiarity that set my skin on fire. He traced the curve of my waist, the arch of my back, the dip of my hips. I could feel myself growing wetter with every touch, every kiss. I needed him inside me again, needed to feel him filling me up, possessing me completely.

But Harry had other plans. He broke our kiss and looked deep into my eyes, his expression serious. "Not yet," he whispered, echoing his earlier words. "I want to savor every moment with you."

He lowered his head and began to kiss a trail down my neck, across my collarbone, down to my breasts. He teased my nipples with his tongue, biting down gently on the sensitive flesh. I gasped, arching my back as waves of pleasure washed over me.

Slowly, carefully, Harry began to enter me once again. He moved slowly at first, savoring every inch of me. But as he felt me grow wetter, more responsive, he picked up the pace. He thrust deeper, harder, his hips slapping against mine. I could feel myself losing control, could feel the familiar tightening in my belly as I approached my climax.

"Turn over, want to see that beautiful ass of yours as I fill you up," he growled, his voice thick with desire.

[featherandferns]

orange juice (fic)

jj maybank x fem!reader | inspired by noah kahn's incredible music

content warning: mentions of drinking and drug use; mentions of abuse; mentions of bodily harm (vague, non-graphic); sexual content | feel free to message me with questions of detail if any of this concerns you before reading!

word count: 7.5k

blurb: in the most unlikely of settings, you and JJ reunite after five years apart in radio silence.

“You know, on my way here, I saw a dead rat.”

A cloud of cigarette smoke dispels into the air.

“It was funny, you know? Cause I felt bad that it was dead, even though it was a rat. I mean, I knew nobody was going to miss it, and that it didn’t have any rat family or friends which would mourn it or anything. But still…It looked like it had been hit by a car, and it was only small so it didn’t look very old, and it seemed so harmless lying there. It probably had a million and one diseases, but just laying there, it seemed harmless. And it felt weird to be sad about this thing dying which would have only maybe caused more damage if it had stayed alive – nibbling through electrical wires and all that.”

JJ takes another drag of his cigarette as he digests the anecdote.

“Anyway. This just made me think of that,” you quietly finish before sinking back into the silence.

“Did you just compare my dad’s funeral to a dead rat?”

You clear your throat. JJ watches in his peripheral as you look down at your feet and fidget your fingers.

“Shit, I guess I did.”

His eyes cut ahead the moment yours seem to flick up.

“Can’t believe that’s the first thing I’ve said to you in years.”

JJ inhales and exhales the nicotine of his cigarette. “Well, I can.”

That makes you laugh. Small and sheltered.

“I weren’t sure that you were going to come,” JJ tells you.

“Could say the same thing to you,” you reply.

Sighing, he drops the cigarette and crushes it under the heel of his boot. He probably should have worn smarter shoes. But then, why would he? Waste of money and space in his truck. Not like his dad was going to see them anyway.

“I only decided yesterday. Practically drove all night.” As if reminding himself of the sleep deprivation, JJ lets out a yawn.

“How is it, being back in Kildare?” you wonder.

JJ shrugs. “Weird. But also not weird at all. I guess I just feel old. I was driving through town and everything looks different.”

“I mean, it has been five years.”

“Jesus,” JJ chuckles, shaking his head. Had it really been that long?

He shoves his hands in his pant pockets and finally finds the nerve to take you in. His eyes scan over you like one might survey potential damage to a car after a close call. He never lets them go below your waist though. As if losing nerve, he flicks them back up to your head and meets your eyes.

“You look well.”

“Thanks. Right back at ya,” you smile.

With that smile – sweet and simple – JJ finds himself being hurled back through time to his teen years. The reminiscing of his youth and the memories that your presence stirs up feels like reflecting on a past life. Something that he almost had, and something that he didn’t exactly lose, but something that changed.

Everything had changed, really. The streets that he used to drive down with his friends, running away from security and darting to and from keggers and house parties, they all had new homes, new paint, new families. Old mom-and-pop shops were now trendy smoothie spots and hippie bars. Empty plots of land that were a good spot to share a joint had now been bought and developed into stylish holiday rentals. None of JJ’s family was left here, not even his cousin. None of his friends were here anymore either. Well, except for you. Is that what you were to him? A friend?

“It was a nice service,” you say.

“Was it?”

For someone like Luke Maybank, ‘nice’ is probably a generous term for a funeral service that’s void of cheery anecdotes and tender memories. It’s a shame that all the memories JJ held in high regard of his father – of the moments that they were bonded and close – often came with the overarching theme of alcohol or drugs. He wasn’t sure there was ever a genuine moment shared between the two. Whatever praise and pride he gathered from his dad was short lived and sparse. When his dad left the island on the boat he stole, JJ never heard from him again. And now he never would.

“Did they ask if you wanted to say anything?”

“What’s there to say? He was a guy and he died in a bender. Short and simple, I guess.”

You nod and go silent once more.

JJ knows that his answer evaded the politeness markers of small talk, but it was true. Luke Maybank was a human who lived on this earth with no mark to be left apart from those which he laid on his own child. The only way that he’d be remembered was in the nightmares that still sometimes have JJ waking up in cold sweats and reaching for the box of cigarettes by his bed.

“I’m sorry. I probably shouldn’t have come,” you say.

“No, it’s not…” JJ shakes his head and offers you a smile, but he knows it looks unnatural. He isn’t sure what he’s feeling right now. Perhaps everything, if that’s even possible. “I’m glad you came. I’m just tired and…well, you know.”

The funeral of my father.

“Right. Of course.”

He watches you tuck your hair behind your ears and glance towards the graves. He remembers how you used to do that when you were both younger. It was funny to him: you’d go through the fuss of trying your hair back in one way or another, but you’d always leave out a couple of strands. “To frame my face” you’d tell him, and then you’d precede to spend the rest of the day tucking your hair behind your ears. He liked it though. When you’d be concentrating on something, like surfing or fixing something up or writing, you’d lean forward and they’d come lose and hang over your pretty features. He’d want to mess with them; tuck them behind your ears for you. Sometimes he did. He remembers when you’d be on top of him, kissing him senseless, and they’d come lose and tickle his face. Somehow it would make the whole thing more sensual, with his laughs and your giggles.

He feels his face flush as the memories of nights like those creep back into his head. He shouldn’t think of you like that, not after all this time. Not with how things turned out. And especially not at his father’s funeral.

JJ had come over to you once his father was safely tucked away in the ground, six feet under. You’d attended the service at the church, hiding near the back, and then the burial, and as everybody else departed to give JJ ‘a moment’ (whatever the hell that meant), he’d turned to find you stood near a bench, lost in thought.

“It was nice of you to come,” JJ thanks.

“I’m surprised none of the others are here.”

“They don’t know. I sort of kept it close to the chest,” JJ admits. “I’m actually impressed by the turnout.”

You go to laugh and JJ sees you stifle it. It helps him ease up, smile a real smile for a second, as wicked as that sounds.

“People have layers, I guess.”

“Not my dad.”

“Maybe. Maybe not.”

You meet his gaze again. Your eyes make it clear that you haven’t shed a tear and neither had JJ. He wasn’t sure if maybe that would come later, once the so-called shock had worn off. He doubted it though. And yet, there was a haze of sadness about him. Death is weird as a whole. The death of a parent like JJ’s, even weirder. Maybe it wasn’t just the funeral causing the sadness. Maybe it was you.

JJ makes a move to leave but before he can even shift his foot one whole step, you’re talking.

“Do you wanna come back to mine? We could catch up. I’m sure you’ve been doing all sorts since I last saw you. Maybe have a drink or two, for old times’ sake?”

“Oh, I don’t drink anymore.”

“Oh,” you say. A pause for thought, then, “well, I have orange juice.”

It’s a strange thing to offer in place of a bottle of beer or glass of wine. Most people would say a cup of coffee. But no - orange juice: that’s where your mind went. It makes JJ smile. It seems so on-par for you to offer him that.

“Okay. Sure. Orange juice sounds good.”

“Do you need a moment, before we leave?” you ask, glancing back over your shoulder to the gravesite of JJ’s deceased father.

The dirt atop of his plot is fresh and stark brown against the green grass. JJ stares a second. The groundkeeper is dusting some muck off the gravestone. The funeral director had offered him a fine granite with award winning chiselling, after recognising JJ from the articles of El Dorado and assuming some high-placed budget. JJ had opted for a simple thing though. Cheap and likely to be hard to read within half a decade. It’s what Luke deserved. Probably what he would have invested into JJ, if the roles were reversed.

“No, I don’t. We can go,” JJ says, voice vacant. He looks back to you. “I’ll drive.”

You don’t live in your childhood home anymore. The place that you’ve settled in is a small home in a sweet looking neighbourhood. In fact, it seems the only part of Kildare that feels familiar to JJ. The front garden is quaint but well kept, with trimmed grass and flower beds that clearly garner a lot of attention and care. The fence is in need of a lick of paint: the blue fading and peeling. A sticky note is attached to the door frame of the front door and it makes JJ smile. ‘Doorbell’s fucked – shout “ding dong” really loud’.

“This is a step up,” JJ says.

“Nice, right? My neighbour is a dick though. Always complaining that I leave my driveway light on in the middle of the night. As if I can even afford to that.”

JJ chuckles as he follows you inside. There’s an instant warm smell that hits him. JJ can’t seem to describe it in any other way than that it smells like you. The interior is safe and homely. The wallpaper and wooden floors pair nicely with the throw pillows and crystals and plants and flowers. Fairy lights are strung from end to end. A kitchen, open plan, feeds nicely into a sitting room. A dining table is tucked in the corner which seemingly functions more as a desk: books piled atop with sheets of paper strewn out. There’s a small corridor to the right and the walls are lined with framed pictures which JJ can’t make out from where he’s stood. He assumes it must lead to a bathroom and bedroom. It isn’t unlived in though. There’s a small pile of clothes which need ironing; they’re sat in a basket, next to the TV. Near the backdoor is an arts and crafts project of some kind strewn about on the floor in organised chaos, blocking the exit.

It's still early in the afternoon so you don’t bother flicking on a light, instead opting to soak in the last few hours of daylight before dusk. Kie used to compare you to a cat, basking in the sun and chasing the rays until there was none left to follow.

JJ closes the door behind him and leans against it.

“You can take your shoes off, if you want.”

“Alright,” he mumbles. He toes them off and kicks them to the side, amongst a pile of your own. He notices how there’s nobody else’s shoes there: just yours, and now his.

You pour out two glasses of orange juice and turn around, handing one to him. He takes it, lost in thought. It all feels surreal, stood here with you, after a five-year pause. When you go to the sofa to sit, he assumes he should follow. You sit on opposite ends. A part of him wonders why you haven’t stretched out your legs and dumped your feet in his lap. ‘These stink’, JJ jokes, poking your toes. You wiggle his fingers off. ‘Shut up, no they don’t.’ Force of habit: he always seems to get stuck on that past. Instead, you go to pull one of your legs up onto the sofa, and JJ flicks his eyes around the room another time. He sips his juice.

“So…” You start. “Any news?”

“Well, my dad died, so there’s that.”

You kick out your leg, aiming for his thigh. “Come on now. Be serious.”

“I am; you were at the funeral. Thought you might remember that,” JJ jokes.

Rolling your eyes mirthfully, you have a sip of your juice. The sun paints shapes on the coffee table, weaving through the thin curtains that line your window. It makes your skin glow, healthy and happy. He’s torn between staring at your face and remembering every detail of your features and avoiding you completely.

“When did you move in here? It’s nice.”

“About two years ago. Mom and dad are still at the old place. They’ve rented out my room though, for tourists and stuff.”

“That’s nice of them,” JJ snorts. “How’s your brother? Is he doing good?”

“He is. He’s at college actually. Graduates later this year.”

“The fuck? That’s so trippy,” JJ mumbles, almost to himself.

JJ can remember your brother as nothing more than a preteen, sulking around the house and begging for rides to soccer practice. Now he’s nearly got a whole ass degree. His eyes naturally fixate on the dining-table-come-desk in the corner.

“What do you do for work then?”

“I’m a teacher at Kildare high.”

Of course you are. JJ smiles, eyes still fixated on the table. It seems to prompt you to continue.

“It’s kinda weird sometimes cause some of the old farts still work there,” you say.

“Oh shit. Mr Rumble still there?” JJ asks, perking up a little, meeting your gaze.

You laugh. “Mr Rummel does still work there, yeah. Still likes to bring you up to me, actually.”

“Really? In what way?”

“Just likes to add the odd little ‘you remember when your boyfriend used to steal my stapler’ kinda things.”

JJ’s laugh is different this time. The word ‘boyfriend’ coming out of your mouth has his thoughts short circuiting. You glance down at your juice and swirl it around the cup.

“Anyway, it’s a pretty good gig. I like teaching, and I actually think I’m making a difference to some of these kids lives sometimes, which is sort of strange.”

“I bet you are. You were always good at helping people,” JJ tells you. Your smile turns soft.

“Thanks, JayJ.”

The nickname is like another sucker punch to the chest. JJ takes it like a champ. Washes it down with water; pretends there’s vodka in there somewhere.

“How are the others, then?” you ask. “How are they?”

“Good. Happy. John B and Sarah are expecting a kid soon.”

“Fuck off.”

“No joke,” JJ laughs. He leans back into the sofa, reclining in the soft throw pillows. It’s strange how easily relaxed he is in this new setting. “They’re debating between two names. Esmeralda or Eton.”

“No. Please God, tell me you’re joking.”

“I wish,” JJ snorts. “Not that I got much of a leg to stand on.”

“What do you mean?” you frown. You lean over and place your juice down on the coffee table.

“JJ? Kinda dumb name.” JJ has a sip of his own before mirroring your actions.

“Hardly. ‘John James’ is pretty proper sounding to me.”

“Meh.” JJ shrugs and props an arm up on the back of the sofa.

“What about Kie, and Pope?”

“Kie is on her environmentalist shit. Investing in rebuilding the coral and things. Pope is studying like crazy. Got a good job lined up too.”

“Only Pope would get a degree when he has literal gold in his savings,” you chuckle. “Didn’t you buy a shop too, or something?”

“A little surf shop with John B, yeah,” JJ nods, smiling proud. The surf shop is something that he would always take pride in. What felt like a pipedream was now his nine-to-five. “It’s doing real good, actually. We’re thinking about expanding.”

“Well, that’s good,” you say, nodding. The two of you lock eyes. Your smile holds steady. “I’m happy for you, JJ. Really.”

“Thanks,” he says. “I’m glad you’re doing good, too.”

And now the polite small talk is over and the catch-up is done. It’s so bizarre seeing someone again after so long. So many things in life have passed – relationships, jobs, fights, conversations, achievements, ailments – but when you finally come to sum it up, it only takes ten minutes. Going through a heartbreak lasts for months, but then a year later and the relationship is summed up in a sentence or two. Time doesn’t only heal, but it also shrinks. It seems to have shrunk whatever used to exist between yourself and JJ too, as you both sit, searching for things to talk about which avoid the dark and ugly. Things which avoid the obvious.

“Do you think you’ll stick around in Kildare for a bit?”

“I don’t know. I ain't really thought about it,” JJ admits. “I weren't even sure if I was gonna go to the funeral.”

“Where are you staying tonight?” you wonder.

He laughs to himself and shakes his head, running a hand through his hair. “I have no idea. Probably just crash in my truck.”

“You’re loaded as fuck and you’re gonna crash in your truck?” you laugh. It isn’t mean when you say it. Just amused.  

“I don’t know. You don’t really get used to having money when you grew up without it. I still feel guilty buying a new pair of boots or something when my old ones ain't coming apart at the soles and shit.”

You nod. “That makes sense. Eminem had a similar thing.”

“Yeah, I’ve always thought me and Eminem were similar,” JJ deadpans.

It seems to strike well with you because you’re cracking up, laughing like he’s just told the best joke you’ve ever heard. He smiles. He always liked making you laugh. You have a horrendous laugh: truly awful. Cats in a bag being bashed against the wall-howling dog parade level of terrible. JJ loved it though. He used to tickle you just to hear it. Watching you now, head titled back, eyes shut and mouth agape, guffawing like a damn hyena…He feels like throwing up.

“Sorry, that…That was good,” you chuckle, wiping your eyes and catching your breath. “You were always good at making me laugh.”

“Fuck knows why,” JJ chuckles.

“Cause you’re funny,” you reply, as if its obvious. “You were always funny.”

It’s strange how the tone of the conversation rises and falls like a mountain range the longer the two of you sit on the sofa.

Your smile turns sombre, like when someone reminisces over a funny memory of their dead pet. Nice at first, amused, and then dampened with the reminder that those times have passed.

“It’s weird, to be honest. You’re so different now but you’re also still JJ.”

“Different how?”

“I don’t know,” you sigh. You glance around the room for a moment, as if you’d find the answer hidden in code on the spine of the books stacked on the windowsill. You look at him again. “Your face looks different.”

“It does?” JJ asks. He lifts a hand and strokes his jaw. He could do with a shave, he supposes. The vanity tries to bite through to ask how, but before he can, you’re talking again.

“You don’t drink,” you add, nodding to the orange juice still sat on the coffee table. “You’re quieter. Less…”

You seem to lose the words and so you gesture with your hands. Explosion.

“Calmer. Sadder, but not sad.”

“I can’t tell if these are good things or not,” JJ says, half-joking.

“You look at me different too.”

That makes him pause. He meets your eyes and holds your gaze, steady. The whole room shifts in a moment, from carefree catch-up to tense confrontation.

“Different?”

“Yeah. You look at me different.”

“I don’t know what you mean,” JJ mutters, going to reach for his drink.

“Yes, you do, JJ.”

Your smile is gone now. He can tell, catching it from his peripheral. Suddenly he doesn’t want to be here. Doesn’t want to be in Kildare, doesn’t want to be in this house, in this room.

“You could at least acknowledge it, you know?”

“I don’t understand—”

“It’s actually more rude to not acknowledge it,” you snip.

“I’m not being rude, I’m just making conversation. You’re the one who’s got me on blast like you’re some God damn therapist,” JJ hits back, meeting your steely stare.

“You feel like you’re on blast?”

“I feel like I’m being observed, that’s for fucking sure.”

“Maybe you are. Maybe you are being observed, JJ,” you return, voice harsh and cutting like how a blade slices through paper. “Because it’s fucking weird having you back.”

“You’re the one that invited me here.”

“That’s not what I mean and you know it,” you say.

JJ takes a breath and closes his eyes. The anger never went away, despite what you’ve just told him, he just got older. Got better at hiding it. Got enough money to try therapy. He takes another moment to breathe through it. Push it down his throat and back into his stomach and let it burn out in the acid.

“I’m sorry,” you quietly say. The venom is gone. “I shouldn’t have…I’m sorry.”

He isn’t sure why – can’t pinpoint a perfect reason behind it – but behind his eyelids, JJ feels tears swell. Feels his lips twitch like a child when they hit their funny bone. His next breath in is shaky.

“JJ?”

“Just…”

His voice cracks and he clears it, shaking his head. He wants to open his eyes but he’s scared he’ll start crying, and he’s not doing that, not right now, not today. It’s not even you. You’d seen him cry before. Held him through it and patched him up; made him smile after the sadness. But he refuses to cry today because he can’t give his dad that satisfaction, even if it’s not about him. Opening his eyes, no tears escape. He reaches for the juice and downs it.

“I’m sorry.”

“Stop saying that,” he snaps. Then, softer, “please.”

You nod. There’s a quiet. Then, you move to stand and he closes his eyes again because it’s a struggle for you to stand. It’s a struggle. He rubs a hand over his mouth as if trying to shove the welling emotions back inside. There’s the sound of running water in the background as JJ tries to gather himself. The crack-crack-crack of a gas stove turning on and then the clink of metal on metal. You’ve put the kettle on, boiling water. There’s the tinker of porcelain mugs being taken off a stand. He seems to zone in on the peaceful sounds of you making coffee.

When you pour water into the mugs, he remembers the sound of your voice years back. ‘Did you know humans have the ability to hear the difference between hot and cold water being poured?’ ‘Why the fuck do you know that?’ ‘I don’t know. Just thought it was interesting.’

As the teaspoon repeatedly brushes against the inside of the cup as you stir in the instant coffee and milk, JJ finally feels all the emotions even out. As your footsteps make their way back over to him, you flick on the lamp by the front door. JJ opens his eyes to see you place a steaming cup of Joe in front of him on the coffee table. The mug is cute. It’s peach pink and says “I’m drinking tea instead of committing crimes” on the front in an innocent type-writer print.

“Cute mug.”

“Thanks. Thought of you.”

He silently laughs. You sit closer to him this time and your mug sits next to his. There’s no funny quote written across the paint. Then your hand is on his back, barely rubbing him, and it hits JJ that this is the first time you’ve touched him in five years.

“I shouldn’t have gotten so angry,” you tell him. “It ain’t my place to say any of that. Especially not today.”

“It’s true, though. That’s the kicker, ain’t it? That it’s true,” JJ replies.

He sighs and leans back, sitting upright once more. Your hand falls away and you clasp it in the other in your lap. He glances down and takes in your side profile. That stupid piece of hair has come lose again, fallen in your face. He distracts his twitching fingers by twisting one of his rings.

“I’m okay, you know,” you tell him. You look up and meet his eyes. Yours are damp with emotion, just like his were moments earlier. “I’m really okay.”

“You almost weren’t though.”

“Is that the problem? That I almost wasn’t?”

“It’s not the problem. You were never a problem.”

“I ain't mean it like that,” you tell him. You shake your head and JJ isn’t entirely sure why. “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“Am I the reason that you left Kildare?”

A bird calls outside and JJ seems to latch onto it like a lifeline. That question makes him feel stranded and scared. He wasn’t ready for it despite being fully prepared.

“I don’t think so.”

“You don’t think so?”

“I…It ain't that simple.”

“Can you explain it to me, maybe?” you wonder. There’s no wrath to your tone anymore – no vendetta against him. There’s just curiosity and care, and this wonderful tenderness that JJ always associated with you from day one, when you offered him your cap to keep his hair off his face.

“I didn’t like the person I was in Kildare.”

“Okay,” you quietly say.

“I didn’t like how I acted. I didn’t like how reckless I was, and how I didn’t care who got hurt in the process.”

“Like me?”

JJ swallows. He doesn’t tear his eyes from yours though. “Yeah. Like you.”

“Okay,” you repeat, quieter still, nodding.

“After El Dorado, coming back here, everything felt tainted. I just…I needed to escape it. My dad and my past and…And you. I couldn’t face it. I felt like I’d caused some freak accident and had gotten away, and then I'd come back to face the aftermath and I just couldn’t stomach it. I just ran.”

You nod.

“I just ran,” he hears himself repeat. “And I’m not proud of it. Of any of it.”

“Okay.”

“And I wanted to fix things, but I didn’t know how. Every time I thought of coming back to Kildare, or picking up the phone, or going on Instagram and finding you…I just got so fucking scared, like a stupid shithead kid. I was so scared of becoming the guy I was again.”

And, again, you nod. When he doesn’t continue, you fill the space. “How long have you been sober?”

“The minute I left Kildare.”

“Fuck.”

“Cold turkey. It sucked ass. It still does. You don’t miss it any less. I miss the rage too, sometimes. I miss my dad sometimes, too. Miss him beating on me. How fucked up is that? That I miss him beating on me?”

You don’t seem to know what to say to that. You just look down at the coffee mugs and watch how the steam is slowly but surely going away.

“I am sorry. I know that ain't worth anything, but I am sorry.”

“It is worth something.” You clear your throat, voice coming out stronger when you say, “It’s worth everything.”

Your smile comes back, timid and tiny. You meet eyes for the millionth time that night.

“It feels like I’ve been ready for you to come back, for so long, and now you’re actually here and…I don’t even know where to start.” He watches your tongue dart out and wet your lips. “I wasn’t expecting you to look so good.”

“Disappointed?”

“Massively. I would have got my ass in the gym more if I knew it was a Goddamn competition.”

JJ smiles. “You were always a sore loser.”

“Says you,” you snort.

There’s another peak in the conversation after the long slug of the last dip. It’s so bizarre. So wonderfully bizarre.

“I’m proud of you, for getting sober. Do you feel better for it?”

“Depends.”

“Well, you look better for it,” you say.

“You’re drooling, I think,” JJ teases, reaching a finger out to prod your cheek.

Rolling your eyes, you mirthfully bat his hand away. “You’re hallucinating.”

“Well, withdrawal does crazy things,” he quips back.

You chuckle and shake your head. “I missed you like crazy.”

“I miss you too.”

Your lips part a little with that. Miss. You seem to hesitate to hold his gaze then, like it’s too intense. JJ feels as though he can see every emotion flash across your face in a second, like watching a car crash in slow motion. Surprise, shock, joy, anger, then sadness. It’s that sadness that hammers hard when you speak, voice weak.

“You left without saying anything, JJ. For five years. You just left me.”

“Don’t make it sound like that. Like I abandoned you.”

“But you did,” you whisper. The tears are back. You’ve both fallen from the top of the mountain. “You abandoned me.”

“You don’t get it,” JJ replies, voice suddenly thick.

“I was in it with you.”

“You didn’t see it,” JJ forces out. His tears are falling: they didn’t wait this time. “You didn’t see how it looked – how you looked. You looked so fucking fragile and tiny and small and your leg was so bent and twisted and black – it was black – and I thought you were already dead.”

Your breathing is shaky and broken. The two of you sit on your sofa in the sunset, eyes locked, tears streaming, chests heaving like you’ve run a marathon. The word ‘dead’ hangs in the air and haunts the room.

“I thought you were dead, and I thought it was because of me.”

“Do you hate me for it?”

“Why the fuck would I—”

“Because I didn’t die? Do you hate me for it?”

JJ blinks back his bewilderment. He physically shifts back in his seat, as if you just spat in his face. Horrified, he tells you, “Of course I don’t. Why would you even ask me that?”

“Because I’m still here, JJ. But you acted like I wasn’t for five years. You didn’t even come see me in the hospital. Didn’t sit with me in the ambulance. Hell, you can’t even look at my leg now! You think I didn’t notice? At the graveyard, and now. You think I can’t see it on your face?”

JJ whispers your name in a tearful plea. Stop.

“I’m still here, JJ. And I invited you back here, and I went to the funeral, because I wanted to see you.”

“To show me what I did?” JJ asks, harsher than needed.

You hold his gaze. “To show you I’m okay.”

He shakes his head, insistent. “It was my fault. If I hadn’t been drinking and if I’d been thinking straight, I would have never let you jump off the bike like that. It was fucking reckless and stupid and I would never, ever do it again. It was all my fault.”

“I don’t care who’s fault it was, JJ,” you whisper. Your hand reaches out and traces his cheek and jaw, and he can’t help but lean into your warm touch. There you sit, cradling his face as if he was the victim in this whole thing. It calms him almost immediately. “Nobody forced me on that bike. Nobody forced me to jump, not even you.”

“I shouldn’t have let you.”

“JJ,” you sigh.

He closes his eyes as you shift in your spot, and somehow you end up with your forehead pressed against his. He reaches out one of his hands for the other of yours that rests in your lap and he clenches it, tight. You’re both still crying but they’re silent tears now.

“I forgive you, JJ.”

He shakes his head whilst you nod.

“Yes, I do, I forgive you. I always have. You know why?”

He doesn’t speak. Doesn’t move.

“Because you were dealt the shitest hand I’ve ever known and look who you are. You’re sober, and you're healthy, and you have loving friends and a steady income and a job which you love, and a boathouse, and so much of your life left. And you didn’t kill anyone. You didn’t kill me, JJ. You didn’t even lose me.”

“I don’t—”

“We’re more than our mistakes.”

When JJ opens his eyes, you pull back enough to let him meet your gaze. As if you know what he’s about to ask, you smile. That smile…JJ feels like he’s coming home.

“You’re more than your mistakes, JJ.”

The moment his lips slot against yours, tentative and hesitant, like a bird exploring new ground for the first time, he’s home. There’s hardly a moment of reluctance, of confusion and mismatch from the time passed, before you’re kissing him back. The softness of your lips against his and the brush of your tongue. The sigh in your voice and the tilt of your head. It’s so seamless and sweet and safe. JJ feels safe here, with you. He feels like all the shit doesn’t matter. He feels like sober might actually be synonymous with happiness, with you. When he lies you down on the sofa, JJ doesn’t want to leave this room, this house, or Kildare. He wants to stay here, worshipping you, breathing you in until you consume all of his senses, because after five years, nothing has made him feel as alive as this. As you.

Everything is a wonderful illusion of being rushed and well-paced all at once. He revels in the way your skin gives gently beneath the scrape of his teeth. When he sucks at your throat, the skin is so delicate, and this close to you JJ can smell nothing but your perfume. He wants to fucking drown in it.

“Fuck, I missed you,” he pants. You’re gasping too. Fingers sliding through his hair, down his sides, along his face.

“I missed you,” you whine.

And that phrase gets repeated over and over like a mantra or a prayer. He hears himself whispering it against your skin with every button he undoes on your blouse. Basks in the sound of your voice, older and mature but still you, as you say it whilst pushing his dress shirt off his shoulder.

There’s a stalling pause when his fingers finish tracing down your stomach to your pants. You seem to notice it. Your hand comes to his face and thumbs at his cheek. They’re still sticky from dried tears.

“JJ,” you whisper, coaxing his attention back to your face. You’re glowing. You’re happy, you’re healthy, and you’re here. “It’s okay.” Nodding, you repeat. “It’s okay.”

Then, he watches your own fingers land on the button of your pants, slowly undoing it. Then the other and the third until they’re lose. He watches you wriggle out of them, pulling them down, struggling somewhat from the tight position on the sofa. Watches the scars emerge, faint but clear, and how they grow and spread like ivy on the side of a house. They merge with the cellulite and stretch marks. With a random bruise you must’ve gotten from hitting your leg on the table the other day. They’re a part of you – plain and simple. At the knee, there’s the connection for your prosthetic right leg. Once your trousers are off, JJ finds himself reaching out to touch it. This thing that he was partly responsible for, this marvel of medicine, the reason you can walk. He loves it and hates it desperately all at once. Glancing back up to your face, you’re watching him just as carefully as he was watching you. But you’re smiling.

“You’re okay,” JJ finds himself saying quietly. Because you are. You’re here, laying almost bare before him, just like you had years before.

“It’s rude to make a girl wait, JJ,” you tease.

With that, JJ’s smile is blossoming back like the returning of spring flowers following a brutal winter. He leans forward and catches himself above you with his arms, kissing you like you’re all the oxygen in the world. Your left leg rubs at his calf, still covered by his trousers, and you giggle against his mouth.

“Fuck, I missed this,” you say. “I missed you.”

“How much?”

“So much,” you say.

“Oh yeah? What’d you miss?” JJ persists, kissing down your neck.

“Your mouth,” you say through a moan. His hands slip behind your back and unclasp your bra. You arch your back enough for him to tug it off.

“My mouth?” he wonders, breathing it against your skin. You’re practically writhing. JJ laughs. “What about my mouth?”

“Don’t be a jackass, JJ,” you mutter.

“You want my mouth?”

“Yes,” you quietly beg.

“You do?” he checks, kissing over your breast, sucking at your nipple. “Where do you want it?”

“You fucking know where,” you sigh, impatience shining through.

He grins at the sudden hitch of your moan as he softly nips at the sensitive skin around your nipple. Then he’s kissing down your stomach until finally his fingers hook into the sides of your panties. He slowly, tauntingly, pulls them down. You kick them off at the ankles, a clear act of frustration, and he bites back his laugh.

“What? Here?” JJ plants a kiss to your hipbone. “You want my mouth here? Or…”

Another kiss, to your pelvic bone.

“Here?”

“Fuck you, Maybank.”

“You wanna?”

“I swear to fucking God,” you huff, laughing through the annoyance.

With that, JJ settles himself between your legs and praises you like you deserve to be. The noises you make are downright evil, considering he can do nothing about it and has to hold it together. You taste so familiar on his tongue.

“Fucking missed you,” he groans against you.

When he sucks on your clit, your hands latch into his hair. Your back is arching and you’re gasping and panting and desperate, and JJ feels like a young God. Pulling back, he slips a finger into your hole and it welcomes him so easily. He cusses at how wet you are.

“Come on baby. Come on, I know you’re close.”

The tells of your body haven’t changed since the last time you two were in this position. The way your mouth hangs open in a silent moan when you fall over the edge is so surreal to see after five years apart. He feels you spasms around him and basks in the scratch of your nails against his scalp as you try to ground yourself. He hardly has time to suck his fingers clean before your pulling his mouth to yours and kissing him stupid.

“Fucking missed you,” you repeat against his mouth, making him laugh. “Nobody fucks me as good as you.”

“Jesus Christ, you can’t say shit like that,” JJ chuckles. “Won’t last.”

“Don’t care,” you say. “Only thing bigger than your ego is your dick.”

JJ can’t help but laugh at that. He loves your giggles in response. And then your hands are shoving at his trousers and the humour is gone, replaced with nothing but raw lust and desperation. There’s nothing performative about it, when the two of you hurry to strip his clothes away as soon as possible. He takes note to get his socks off. You’d always had a weird thing about it, sex in socks, and nothing was going to taint this night. Not after so long.

Being inside you…JJ missed it more than all the alcohol and weed in the world. Nothing compared to the feeling of you clenching around him. The vice of your leg hitched up and over his back as he grips into your thigh, mean and firm, perfecting the angle. The senseless, endless whines falling from your agape mouth, eyes closed tight, lost in the feeling of it. JJ wants nothing to be less than perfect for you, for this. Every stroke, every kiss, every clench of his fingers…it all has to be perfect. He knows when you’re close and he’s more than fucking relieved. It’s taking everything in him not to come. He needs you to fall over the edge first.

“Do the thing,” you whine. “Do the thing, John.”

With that, JJ remembers five years back, to late nights and later mornings spent rolling in bed with you. He bites into his lip, holding back his shit-eating grin as the memories flood back, and he leans forward to your ear. Gently taking the lobe within his teeth, he croons into the shell of your ear.

“That’s my good fucking girl.”

And finally, you fall apart, taking JJ with you like you always would.

When the high finally passes and the endorphins settle down, the two of you are laying on the sofa, only covered by a throw blanket JJ had dragged down from the back of the sofa. You’ve somehow shuffled so you’re laying mostly atop of him. His arms are locked around your damp stomach like a vice, nose nestled into your hair, just behind your ear, breathing you in with every inhale.

“Will you stay in Kildare, just for a short while? For me?”

JJ wants to laugh but he knows how wrong that would be in this moment. The humour doesn’t come from the question, but from the notion that he’d leave after finally having you back in his life, safe and happy, after five long years.

“Anything,” he whispers, pressing a kiss against your hair. Anything for you.

-

“You look like shit by the way,” JJ says.

His hands are warm in his cargo pant pockets. Head tilted down and gaze steady, he sighs.

“Guess you didn’t have chance to clean up though, right?”

Shockingly, the gravestone says nothing back. Well, says nothing asides form Luke Maybank in barely legible font.

It still feels surreal, that his dad is gone. That they’d never remedy anything, or even attempt to fix their relationship. That JJ wouldn’t be able to face him and show him what he’d become. How he’d risen past it all and grown from the pain and the agony. That he’d taken the shitty hand that he was dealt and turned it into nothing but flushes and full houses. That he hadn’t grown into a petty criminal or a tax-evading lowlife, but a strong, good-willed, well-intentioned man. The thought, bittersweet at heart, makes him smile.

“I’m happy dad. I know you probably hate that, being dead and all, but I am.”

As if on cue, there’s the high pitch giggles from afar that catch JJ’s attention. He glances over to spot you and your wonderful mini-you, sitting on your shoulders, waving at him. He waves back, small and short, smiling.

“I’m glad you never met her,” JJ tells his dad, never tearing his eyes away from the pair of you. You ease her off your shoulders and take her hand, pointing to a small bed of daffodils. “I was so scared I’d be bad at this. I was so scared that I’d be like you.”

She’s so fragile as she picks a flower free from the bunch, holding it by the stem, up to you. You nod and presumably smile in approval.

“But I’ll never be like you. She’ll never know what it feels like to live in fear,” JJ states, firmly. He looks back down to the grave. “I’m not your mistakes, and I’m not mine.”

He lowers to a squat and wipes some of the dirt off the stone, revealing the dates. “Happy birthday, dad. You suck, and I hope you’re finally at peace.”

“Daddy, daddy…”

There’s an insistent tug at his jacket sleeve. JJ smiles and looks down at the best mistake he ever made. Mistake is a strong word. ‘Oops, I think is better’, you’d said when you first showed him the pregnancy test.

“What’s up, bub?”

“I found this flower. Can I give it to papa?”

JJ takes the daffodil and glances to the grave. A brief moment of anger passes over him like the breeze of winter. He doesn’t deserve this. He isn’t your papa. I’m glad he’s dead. But he closes his eyes and breathes. Your hand squeezing gently at his shoulder tells him you’re there. It helps ground him.

“Yeah, bub. I think that’d be nice,” he smiles, handing it back.

She giggles as she puts it on the grass just before the stone. Her laughter is brighter and louder still when JJ scoops her up as he stands, looping her around him until she’s a backpack.

“You wanna get ice cream?”

“Hell yeah,” you whoop.

“Hell yeah!” mini-you copies. JJ laughs.

“Alrighty, lets go.”

As the three of you make the small walk back to the car, you intertwine your fingers with JJ’s, holding his hand tight and secure. JJ takes one last glance back at the gravestone. It all began here, in a way, the re-introduction to a life he thought he’d lost. Perhaps the nicest thing JJ’s dad ever did, the kindest act he ever performed, was dying. Perhaps that was his way of paying him back for all the crap he gave.

“Hey.”

JJ glances down at you.

“You okay?”

He smiles. Then, he nods. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m okay.”

Everything is going to be okay.

[ultravi0lence14]

Witchy Woo

sam winchester x witchfem!reader

2k | fluff, slight angst

summary: calling on their witch friend to help with a case, sam might get a lot more than he bargained for when he fears she’s gotten hurt.

warnings: choking, moderate level of violence

your relationship with the winchesters had started rocky, to say it lightly.

you were a witch, born in a long lineage of wiccan’s who used their powers for evil, subsequently getting killed by hunters in the process. you, on the other hand, weren’t like that. your mom tried to get you to see the family craft, to see what your legacy was, but you just couldn’t.

there was already enough bad in the world, why be one of the people enabling it when you could help do good and get rid of it?

at first, the winchesters didn’t see that so easily. they were raised on the pretences that if something was of supernatural being, then you kill it. so when they showed up in your home town investigating a case, you were the first suspect on their list.

the two men came barging into your home, spewing non sense about how you were hexing town residents and that they had the bullets to end your magical killing spree. you were confused, as you would never kill people and actually were great friends with some of victims found dead by a witches hand.

after semi convincing them that you were good, you helped the winchester boys track down the real culprit — with a lot of grumbling from dean in the process. turns out, it was valerie edmonds. the middle aged divorcee who lived down the street from your house. if you were being honest, you were quite surprised she was a witch, for she never gave you that vibe in the slightest.

since then, the winchester’s have called you if they needed a specific type of magical help on a case. it took a lot of time and work for them to fully grasp that you meant no harm. but when it stuck, you were practically apart of the team.

now, as you drove into the parking lot of some dingy motel, trying to spot out the winchester’s room number, you think back onto how you guys met. how everything that has happened since then has felt so surreal to you.

you helped people in your town, but never on a bigger scale like sam and dean did. it felt nice, finally being able to feel like you are really making a difference in the world.

barley lifting your hand from knocking on the wooden door, the hinges creaked as non other than dean winchester swung it open, giving you a tight lipped smile as he let you into the motel room. sam was sat at a small wooden table, hunched over with his eyes glued to his computer screen, reading some article he found on this cases lore.

you were slightly new to what a hunter’s day to day life was, for you had only met the winchester boys shy of a year ago. you’d assume, the half eaten pizza boxes and multiple beer bottles littered on the floor was an accustom to the lifestyle

those weren’t your only thoughts as you stepped through the threshold. your eyes couldn’t help but latch onto sam’s hunched figure, face drawn into concentration as he searched and searched for anything on this vengeful spirit they were after.

ever since you had gotten slightly acquainted with the two, you couldn’t help but harbour a slight crush towards the younger of the brothers. he was so soft spoken, sweet in how he treated victims families or anyone in general. how could you not fall in love with him?

the bed springs squeaked as you sat on mattress, dean moving to sit at the table with sam. as you sat your bag beside you, dean broke the somewhat awkward silence in the room. “let’s just cut to the chase already. Y/N, we need your witchy ass for this case.” sam finally looked up from his computer, turning your way and smiling at your form, making a light blush dust your cheeks as you smiled back.

“what do you need help with? is there any spell or ingredients i need to look for?” the look on dean’s face was juxtaposing what you expected his reaction to be. he looked almost guilty, like what he was about to say was not going to be something you’d like.

scratching the back of his neck, dean opened up about what plan he had already devised. “well, it looks like the spirit we are hunting is going after witches. so i thought that maybe you, i don’t know, lure it out?” your face was passive, not really knowing what to think. dean didn’t specify what you would be doing this certain hunt. but to his knowledge, you could easily hold yourself against an angry ghost, so you were trying to give him the benefit of the doubt.

sam, on the other hand, was not having a second of what his brother was suggesting.

“no,” he stated, shutting his laptop almost to make a point. “absolutely not. we are not putting her in danger.” his eyes kept glancing back to you, almost as if the mere mention of you luring out the ghost was getting you killed.

standing from the bed, you walked over to sam and put your hand on his shoulder, getting him to turn his head and stare up at you with the widest eyes you’ve ever seen. if you were being honest, you almost gave in and agreed with sam right then and there.

but you held your ground, smiling at him as dean looked incredulously between you two. “sam,” you started. “i will be fine. i have handled worse, and you and dean will be there if something goes wrong.” this made him relax slightly, looking over to his brother before grabbing your hand on his shoulder and squeezing it.

“that’s settled.” said dean, getting up from the chair and moving towards his duffle bag. “we leave for the club this ghost hunts at in fifteen.”

walking towards your bag, you turned to dean with your hands on shoulders. “one thing though. you two aren’t putting me in some shitty ideal of what clothes witches wear. got it?”

“i can’t believe we agreed to let you wear those poser clothes.” dean grumbled, in the drivers seat of baby as you got ready to go into the bar. “this ghost will never believe your a witch in that.” his comment made you laugh, stopping halfway out the car as you turned your body to look at him. “are you forgetting dean that i am the only witch here? i think i would know what the supposed attire is.”

dean huffed as you got out of the impala, giving yourself a once over in your mid length, cloth dress. waving goodbye to the boys as your brown boots shuffled against the gravel of the parking lot. the white of your dress reflecting the sun as sam watched the bar door shut behind you.

he was worried, to put it lightly. he knew you could handle yourself but he never liked you putting yourself in imminent danger. his thoughts were stopped as he looked over to dean, who was giving sam a certain look that had the younger winchester reeling back in confusion.

sighing to himself, dean leaned his arm on the window and looked over at his brother. “dude, she’ll be fine. you are just worried cause you’ve got a fat crush on her.” the shock in sam’s face was enough to make dean laugh, putting the car in drive so that him and sam could go and find the cemetery where the spirit was buried.

“i do not have a crush on her!” sam sounded so exasperated, that an actual bark of laughter left dean. making the older winchester shake his head as he turned out of the parking lot. “whatever you say, sammy.”

on your end of things, you had sat yourself at the bar top, remembering how sam said that the ghost usually strikes after the victim had a couple of drinks in their system. you didn’t want to drink too much, for being tipsy wouldn’t help with stopping the ghost. so you resulted to one margarita, nursing a cup of coke for the rest of the night.

when you got a text from dean on the go ahead, you got up from the stool, paying your tab as you inconspicuously made your way to the alley behind the bar, pacing back and forth as you waited for the ghost to appear.

as you started losing hope in this plan, a force from behind you grabbed your arm and threw you into the nearest wall. groaning on the impact, you looked up to see a ghastly looking woman, ripped dress blowing behind her as she snarled in your direction.

she disappeared to then only reappear right in front of you, grabbing your neck and lifting you against the wall. you struggled to breathe as you waited for the boys to burn her bones. but that didn’t come as fast as you hoped. you were starting to lose consciousness, scratching at the ghosts arms and wishing you brought some iron with you.

a futile attempt to mumble out a spell was crushed as the ghost squeezed tighter, cutting off your airways and making it almost impossible for you to speak.

with your last shreds of consciousness dangling in your hands, you heard a loud shriek as the ghost let go of you, dropping you to the ground and erupting in flames, disappearing forever.

swallowing in deep gasps of air, you got up from the ground and steadied yourself against the wall. slowly walking to where the parking lot was and waiting on the side of the road for dean and sam to pull up in the impala.

when you heard the faint rumble of the comforting car, you looked up to see sam jump out of the passenger seat before dean could even throw it into park. the younger winchester ran over to you, grabbing your arms and inspecting his eyes up and down your frame, making sure you were okay.

“sam, i’m fine.” you laughed as he worriedly brushed some mud off the front of your dress. that only caused him to look up and gasp slightly, bringing his hands to the side of your neck as he turned your head back and forth.

“oh baby, your neck. it’s all bruised.” you hadn’t even looked at the aftermath of the ghosts firm grip on your neck, now not wanting to as the sorrow in sam’s eyes from the mere sight of it made your heart drop.

all you could do was shake your head, holding onto sam’s forearms with your own hands. “i’m fine, sammy. i’m alive, the ghost is gone.” but that didn’t seem to sooth his freaked expression, only being able to hear his quick inhales of breath and the wind blowing around you.

gulping in some air, sam shook his head, speaking his next words in one breath. “i was so scared, i can’t lose you.” sam had barley finished his sentence before his lips crushed to yours, moving his one hand to cup your face and the other to wrap around your waist.

you gasped into his mouth, hands going to the back of his head to grab onto the tuffs of hair at the back of his neck. he was pulling you impossibly closer, almost as if he could mold your body’s together and never let you go.

pulling away, your hands went to the front of his brown carharrt jacket, looking into his eyes with such intensity that a normal person would be inclined to look away. but not sam, he could stare into your eyes forever.

breathing in deeply, sam leaned his face closer to yours. “i told myself if you were okay that i wouldn’t wait anymore. i can’t go another day without being with you, i just can’t.” his words sent tears to your eyes, reaching up so you could properly hug him.

his arms went around your waist, and everything just felt better. sam was yours, and you were his, and everything just felt like it should be. as sam pulled away, he planted a firm kiss on your cheek, grabbing your hand and leading you towards the impala. “cmon, my love, dean’s probably getting impatient.”

watching the two of you walk hand in hand, dean just chuckled to himself, turning so he could throw the car out of park. “fucking finally.”

**can’t lie, i wrote most of this either in class or munching on a rice bowl

[djarinterstellar]

Safe Place

Pairing: Din Djarin x fem!Reader

Summary: What starts as a night off alone escalates into some trouble in town. Luckily, when you’re employed by one of the fiercest warriors in the galaxy, backup is never too far away.

Tags/Warnings: category is- MUTUAL PINING[!!] they just don’t know it. mostly comfort/fluff. some violence in the beginning + 1 minor injury. mentions of alcohol and spice (cannabis) use. Reader is fadeddd most of the plot lmao. Protective/Soft Din 🥰 mentions of Force-sensitive Reader. also no Grogu today, it’s past his bedtime :(

Word Count: 8.6k

a/n: not me posting this on the cusp of season 3 finally premiering 💀 also this was supposed to be shorter but honestly, this thing got so out of hand so fast, idek why it drags on for as long as it does. but i was inspired by this very stoned prompt i thought of months ago with my favorite tin can babygirl and decided to finally finish it so. here we go. ✨

ps: i’m still trying out the 3rd person pov thing so lemme know if you hate it or not. also to settle any confusion amid the new szn, this takes place between s1 and 2 :)

Translation: Sen’ika = little bird

*

*

It’s supposed to be an easy night.

Mando is on a hunt and she’s been left in charge in his absence. Normally she would’ve argued coming along and you know, making herself useful as she’d originally agreed upon. But the Crest could only land so close and the additional foot travel was too long and treacherous for the Child to follow along. Plus Red trusted her enough to leave her alone with his foundling without making off with his ship and she had no other choice but to agree.

A few days had passed now since he’d departed. He estimated he’d return in about a week, so she was in no rush in waiting for him. Mando had settled them on the outskirts of town, far enough where they could lay low in peace but still close enough for her to make any emergency supply runs in town. She was left with everything she needed to care for the kid. And with specific instructions not to leave the Crest unless it was absolutely necessary.

Which is exactly what she decided to categorize this as.

The pair of double doors leading into the local cantina burst open and she stumbles back out into the streets, giggling to herself as she cradles a pair of warm cider bottles to-go in her pouch. She hadn’t planned on lingering at the bar but three drinks and a pair of shots with a group of local girls later, plans were changed. She was even invited out back to share a round of their spice joint, a generous offer she simply couldn’t refuse. She was now blissfully intoxicated and felt lighter and happier than she’d been in weeks.

The kid had finally settled in earlier and if his recent patterns served her correctly, he’d be down for the rest of the night. She was finally alone, a privilege she found extremely rare these days since joining Mando’s crew, which gave her ample time to wander into town. Was it responsible of her to leave the Crest and the kid alone? Most would argue it wasn’t, Red most of all. But he wasn’t here to say no! Plus, she had locked the ship down to keep the kid inside and protected from any potential stragglers. All goes well, she would be in and out before he woke up.

And she was confident about this because she’d already gone out just last night. Sure, she hadn’t been out this long, but again, Mando wasn’t expected anytime soon.

She liked exploring towns. It gave her a reason to not only scope out her environment, but to familiarize herself with the locals and figure out which spots in town were traveler-friendly. It was easy to wander when she was on her own, but now that she was a full-time employee, it had become somewhat of a rare treat.

It was week’s end for these particular folks, which meant most of them were out in droves tonight. She could still hear the fits of laughter and drunken serenades belting out of the cantina behind her as she walked away. The air was far cooler at night and the refreshing taste of it in her lungs gave her cloudy head the clearance it needed.

She was delightfully drunk and probably just as high, but she was conscious enough to know she needed to get back. Leaving the kid alone for a couple of hours was fine, but stretching it out any longer than that was far too much of a risk. Live music was playing somewhere from around the corner, locals dashing around her as they hopped from one cantina to another.

The energy buzzed around her like an electric current, yet she walked with a familiar ease. She felt oddly safe within the center of town. But as she drifted further into the outskirts, the street lamps dulled and the crowds thinned out. A pair of fraternal moons became her guiding light as she willed herself to remember the path back to the Crest.

And for a while, it was fine. Despite the silence, she couldn’t help but feel a bit more on edge out here alone than when she was surrounded by a bunch of drunk miners. She ignored it though, trying to tell herself it was probably the spice making her antsy. But the farther she walked, the longer her paranoia festered and itched and scratched until she realized it wasn’t the libations talking to her.

It was the Force.

She realized too late she was being followed until just before she was confronted. A Balosar male slinks out from an alleyway behind her, long and slim with his hands stuffed in the pockets of his oversized coat. She wills herself to keep her eyes straight ahead but she could hear him glide over to her side to match her stride.

“Where ya goin’ sugar? The party’s that way!” he drawled, sending an immediate chill up her spine. Shit.

“I know where I’m going,” She doesn’t look at him as she attempts to brush past him. “Have a good night.”

He reacts by slipping around her once more, this time blocking her path directly ahead. “Whoa whoa, take it easy!” His accent is thick and laced in what she can only describe as mock-innocence. “Relaax, nobody’s gettin’ hurt here!”

Her facial expressions remain unmoved, glancing up at him boredly. In reality though, her heart was hammering against her ribcage. The last thing she needed, especially right now, was unwanted attention from anybody, let alone from this total stranger. She moves to step forward but he cuts in her way, a sly grin stretching across his face.

“It’s okay baby,” Her stomach internally caved in at the pet name. “just tryna find where the cool people hang out.”

“Wouldn’t know where to point you to.” she replies flatly, straightening her back. “Excuse me.”

She attempts to move around him again, but his arm comes up to lay on the wall next to her and he leans forward to cave her in. “Where’re you from then? I’ve never seen anyone this pretty so far out here.” His free hand inches towards her face but she’s quick to turn her cheek, her jaw clenching behind her lips.

“And you never will.” she snaps back, already inching backwards.

This only prompts him to step closer, a frown crossing his slimy face. “Ey, you don’t have to be a bitch.” His tone switches almost predictably and her hand slips behind her cloak to reach for her holster.

“Back off.” she snarls him a warning with the coldest glare she can make.

He tries reclosing the gap between them again. “C’monn honey- ”

“NO.” Her fight-or-flight instinct kicks in and she fully pushes her weight on him to shove him down. Her stand off is cut short though when he finds his balance and pushes back. She’s thrown back against the wall and before she can even process it, a pocket knife is jabbed against the skin of her neck.

Shadows move over his shoulder in her peripheral vision and when she follows them, 3 more Balosars creep out of the dark, hovering behind the first one in a sort of half circle around her.

It’s at this moment that she realizes 2 distinct things. Firstly, she doesn’t recognize them. In her 4 or so days since they touched down, she’d observed the villagers in her down time and gathered a very broad consensus of who was who— and in that time, she hadn't seen any Balosars in this town, which told her they were also just passing by. Secondly, she thinks as she watches the other 3 close in, she’s tangled herself in a very complicated web here. It was 4 against 1, with a notable size difference amongst all of them. She couldn’t see straight, was hilariously underprepared for a fight given the company she was currently keeping, she was fucked up and only growing more inebriated as her vices soaked into her bloodstream, and she was alone. No baby, no bar friends, no civilian witnesses.

No Mando.

Fuck.

A strangled little noise escapes her throat when the knife is pinched further into her skin and she curses herself at how whimpered it comes out.

“Fine, since you wanna do this the hard way..” the first Bathosar sneers almost mockingly, his frame towering over her own.

She’s curling into the overcast of her cloak when her fingers finally find the handle of her blaster, skin digging tightly into the cool of the metal. She looks into his eyes and sucks in a deep breath before the tension snaps.

Fuck it.

In an instant, a shot zaps out, aimed directly at his foot. He cries out when it makes contact, and she smashes her blaster across his temple when he folds over in distracted pain, his knife clattering to the ground. Despite her inebriation, she can sense the others jumping into action and she points her gun at the closest one, shooting him right in his chest before he can get any closer. She doesn’t have time to watch his body crumple to the floor as she turns to shoot at the other two, a rapid succession of plasma bolts whizzing out almost desperately. Her second target barely misses her line of fire and as she follows his trail, she fails to block the third Balosar from tackling her into the wall. She cries out as he harshly elbows her wrist to disarm her, the blaster forced out of her hand.

“Grab her!” She hears her attacker hiss from above her before she’s suddenly snatched from behind. Her arms are pinned to her sides as she’s grabbed and lifted several inches off the ground.

Her heart is pounding, blood pumping into her ears as she yells out. Her feet start kicking furiously in an instant, every functional instinct left in her telling her to fight back. “Get off me!” she shrieks, flailing until her boot finally connects with a knee. She hears him yelp behind her, his grip slipping. She jabs her elbow fully into his nose, sending them both tumbling.

Two separate voices are shouting incoherently above her in a blend of confusion and exasperation. She can see her blaster just feet away and she starts crawling, scrambling in a desperate effort to reach it, until she’s yanked backwards by her ankle.

“Pin her down.” she hears one of them growl maliciously from above.

Her stomach turns as she’s dragged back into her assailant’s grip, trails of her fingernails digging into the dirt floor. She feels her brain short-circulating in its panic so she resorts to one last defense tactic.

She starts screaming.

And it’s a shriek that’s piercing and raw and louder than she was planning it to be. But she screams anyway in hopes that anyone within the block can at least hear her, even if it’s another drunken villager on their way home.

“Shut her up!” A second voice hisses hastily, hands scrambling to smother her.

“NO- ” She bites down on the first hand that touches her face and only squeals louder, her pitch jumping another octave in her hysteria. She starts kicking again, nails scrambling in the dirt for a spare rock, a glass shard, anything physical to grab in her defense. When her palms only fill with clumps of dirt and sand, she clenches her fists around them anyway.

What started as a dreamy, whimsical high has quickly soured into a debilitating panic trip. Rather than floating in euphoric bliss, she feels tranquilized, her focus and motor skills severely hindered and overpowered by these 3 much larger adversaries. Her stomach is turning over under her ribs, waves of nausea churning with her rising panic. Her heart is pounding too fast she feels, and her lungs are tightly clenched despite how fast she’s gasping for air.

She doesn’t realize she’s crying until she’s flipped on her back, the welling tears spilling down her temples. Before she can scream again, a balled up handkerchief is forced into her mouth. Two of them meanwhile, are putting their full weight down on her to pin her limbs to the ground. The first one is limping over to them, his knife recovered in his hand while patches of fresh blood trail behind his injured foot. She audibly whimpers now, wriggling in their grasp like a drowning fish.

“You know.. I was gonna let you go after all this,” he starts, turning his blade over in his hand as if to inspect it. “But that was before I believed the rumors.” He pauses here, and the dread is only momentarily overwhelmed by her instinctive curiosity. “I mean- we all knew the bounty’s primary target was a Mandalorian with a green pet- ” Her stomach drops. “ -but there was no mention anywhere about his pretty little accomplice.”

She rustles again as he looms over her. “And I gotta tell ya, I didn’t think it was true at all. I mean, a Mandalorian with a business partner? And a girl at that!?” He almost laughs before he pivots. “But then we sees’ you in town, carryin’ this little guy around, and we think, maybe there’s some truth in all this, ya know?” Her stomach sinks even lower at the realization that they not only spotted her with the kid, but that they’d been watching her this whole time too.

Double fuck.

Suddenly, he’s kneeling in front of her, his injured foot tucked behind his knee, and she’s roughly sat up to face him by the snatch of her hair. “So here’s what’s gonna happen,” She grunts helplessly when his blade is pressed deeper against her neck as the three men crowd around her. “you’re gonna point me in the direction of the gremlin, you’re gonna watch us shoot his kidnapper, and then, and only then, will I finally kill you myself.”

Her brows crease in pain as she tries to pull away from his blade, but the hand twisted in the back of her hair only pushes her into it. The handkerchief is yanked out for her to answer and his head tilts to catch her eyes. “So?” he snaps. “What’s it gonna be? Now or later?”

Her eyes harden, nostrils flaring. Honestly, right now, she just wants to tell him to fuck off. It’s not like this was her first time being mugged and/or threatened, and unfortunately not while inebriated either. But this one felt pretty damn close to getting got. Her brain is already scrambling between scattered half-assed theories on how to get her out of this.

Fw-ip !

A whizzing sound passes under her and it’s so subtle, she almost doesn’t notice it. Then there’s a pause of silence that’s almost too heavy to be coming from nothing before she notices that the first guy’s eyes have blown wide open. They make eye contact and she squints, almost confused.

Suddenly, he’s thrown back and he starts screaming before she realizes he’s being yanked into the shadows by his wounded foot. She can hear the mechanical whizzing again as he’s dragged, even over his friends’ shouting, and it takes another split second for her to realize it’s a whipcord. And just like that, the Force alerts her that she’s not alone again. But instead of dread, something else flutters in her gut.

The Balosar’s screams are cut short by a single blaster shot, and she inhales a gasp of air before a chill crawls up her spine.

Two heavy, familiar boot steps clunk in front of them as its owner steps into the dim lighting.

She exhales and pure euphoria blooms in her chest.

He’s towering over them, broad shoulders stiff and gloved hands clenched into iron fists, his armor gleaming like a beacon even in the cover of night.

She can’t stop the smile that’s spreading across her face. “Mando..-”

“Kill him!” One of the Balosars yanks her back into his chest as his friend scrambles to his feet, blaster already in hand. She squeaks and the sound seems to snap Mando into full action. She’s yanked to her feet as his arm wrangles itself around her neck.

From here though, she can see her Mandalorian in his full glory. She watches him stalking towards his prey, blaster bolts bouncing off his beskar like raindrops as the other guy empties his clip into him. And of course, when that doesn’t work, he headbutts him to stun him before striking. Despite the weight of his armor, Mando moves like a viper and is just as deadly.

She feels herself being dragged away and she grunts in protest, trying to wriggle out of his grasp. It’s then she remembers one hand is still clenched. Without a second thought, she swings backwards, smacking the guy right in the face as she temporarily blinds him with a fistful of dirt.

“Agh- !” He shouts and she slips out his grip. She starts towards Mando, but then she’s grabbed by her hair and is yanked backwards with a cry. “Fuckin’ bitch- !” She hears him snarl before the back of his hand strikes her directly across her cheek.

She drops against the brick wall behind her, his body towering her, but from the corner of her eye, she spots Mando. The second guy is now motionless on the floor and his helmet is fully trained on the last one. And based on the swell of his chest and how hard he’s breathing now, she doesn’t need to gauge anything else; he just saw what he did and he’s furious.

He crosses the space between them and drags him backwards and away from her. The Balosar starts fighting back but he's quickly overpowered as he’s disarmed with an unnatural twist of his wrist. Mando spins him around and lands a punch directly into his face once, twice, thrice and then a final fourth blow before the guy falls to his knees. And it’s there that he goes for the kill, grabbing his head with both gloved hands and snapping his neck with an enraged grunt and a sickening crunch.

She watches the final body crumple to the floor with blown out eyes and her jaw fully dropped. She’s physically shaking, she realizes, and can barely breathe, let alone stand on her own. But when Mando finally turns to her, his chest rising and falling, she clings to the wall behind her to gather herself back up.

“What the hell happened??” Mando’s tone is harsh and agitated, even under his modulated panting. “You weren’t on the ship when I-”

He’s cut off when she runs straight into his arms. She all but collapses into his chest, arms coiled around his neck and her face smothered into his cowl. Before he can even process what’s happening, she pulls back to look up at him. “You’re earlyy!” She’s practically beaming up at him, one of her hands tracing the cheekbone of his helmet.

He’s speechless. First, a hug. And now she’s.. glad to see him? Not to mention how she’s smiling up at him with those big, adoring puppy-dog eyes. She’s never been this nice to him before, not even around the Child. “I- ” he hesitates before clearing his throat. “ -Yes. The target uh, took less time than I thought.”

This only makes her smile wider before she buries herself in him again. This time, her arms slip around his back, her cheek leaning into his chest plate. She could care less about how the edges of his armor were pinching into her skin, or how his fully loaded bandolier was pressed very uncomfortably into her collarbone. All that mattered to her right now, was this. “I’m so happy you’re here.” she all but whimpers, closing her eyes to savor the coolness of his beskar and the familiar scent of metal and gun smoke.

Now Mando was really stunned. But he can also feel the physical tremble in her muscles and the speed of her pulse, so he relents with a long sigh before a single arm drapes around her back. “Are you okay?” he asks, his tone much softer this time.

She nods into his chest before pulling away again. “Y-Yeah I just- ” she takes a deep breath and lets out a shaky exhale. “ -that was.. too close..”

“What happened?” He decides to ask again. “Are you hurt?” His hands quickly pat her down as if checking her for any other injuries before one of them comes up to gently cup her chin. He carefully tilts her face to get a better view of her red cheek and it doesn’t go unnoticed when she refuses to make eye contact. His helmet tilts ever so slightly. “Sen’ika..”

Her lips press together and her brows furrow as she flinches. “Well..”

“Did they kidnap you?” He asks, his other hand gesturing towards the 3 bodies behind him.

This makes her head snap back up. “No! No, they had no idea where I was staying. They were just trying to follow me back t..” she trails off the moment her brain catches up to her lips, and now that she’s face-to-face with him, she can practically feel Mando’s visor burning a hole into her forehead.

The pause between them stretches out uncomfortably before he finally speaks. “Where did you go?” His voice makes her insides squirm, like a teenager getting caught out after curfew.

“Uh..” She starts and suddenly she’s become hyper-aware of how hot her face is. She can’t remember the last time he was this close to her, and the realization of this somehow makes her self-conscious. She’s also still remarkably faded, too faded in fact to fake any semblance of sobriety. And if he’s already here, there’s really no point in lying to him, he’s way too smart for that. “..the bar.” she finally finishes meekly.

His shoulders slump as he exhales. “You got drunk?” he asks incredulously.

Her face brightens in embarrassment. “Okay, look- ” she starts and she can practically hear him groan under his helmet as he looks up to the sky. “-to be fair, I only went after the kid passed out, cause I knew he wouldn’t wake up.”

When she looks up, his helmet only tilts to the side, a silent move that only prompts her to keep going. “Ok, so there’s this pattern I’ve noticed, so when you give him a full meal and a glass of warm milk, and then you just let him play with his toys and get him to make them float around the room, after a certain time, he’ll get super tired and, like, fully sleep through the night. And I know that sounds like the most basic excuse in the book but I swear I tested this three nights in a row and it worked every time, okay so I wasn’t being totally stupid..”

She doesn’t realize how long she’s been rambling until she glances up again. He’s now leaned in closer to her, and for a moment she thinks he’s examining her cheek again. What she doesn’t realize is how carefully he’s looking into her eyes. He can tell she’s been drinking by now, and despite the trauma of the attempted assault on her just now, her eyes are still way too bloodshot to just be the liquor. Not to mention the hint of another smell on her..

She inhales sharply through her nose when she feels his gloved hands slip over her own. She gazes into his visor, as if straining to look for a pair of eyes behind it and leans in ever so slightly. She’s never been as curious to see what his expression looks like as she is right now. Her face softens as she stares up at him. “Mando..?” Her voice is just above a whisper and oh-so delicate.

She can feel his thumbs gently press into the pulse points of her wrists as he stares at her, and the surprising warmth of his touch makes butterflies flutter in her ribs. And just before she can open her mouth to call out to him again, he leans directly into her eye level.

“Are you high?” He’s audibly confused.

Her eyes turn into saucers in silent panic and it’s here that he can see her pupils are blown wide open.

“…Uhhhh…”

He sighs heavily as his head drops in defeat. It’s the only answer he needs.

“Okay,” he relents as he lets go of her. “Get your stuff. Let’s go home.”

He immediately stiffens once the words slip out. Oh, fuck fuck fuck.

No Din, no! This was temporary, remember?? She’d only made that abundantly clear the day she stepped foot on the Crest with a single bag and 2 datapads. It was always a mutual agreement though: she was to join him on the Crest to work full-time on tracking down a Jedi, with a deadline of at least a couple of months before he was to drop her off at a new planet of residency of her choosing. After all, she’d only just begun resettling her life and it was a path she intended to follow through on her own. Din understood this partnership was fleeting and it was unfair of him to call this ‘home’, yet for some reason, he insisted on slipping up in little moments like this again and again.

Though based on the glazed, clueless look in her eyes, she didn’t notice at all. “Okay.” she simply says, turning around to scan the alley for her belongings. As she skirts off in one direction, Din sees her blaster laying just a couple of feet away. He picks it up for her when a loud clanging catches his attention.

“Hey!” She calls out, straining to pull her bag out from under one of the bodies. Once she rolls him off with a kick of her foot, she holds up her bag and pulls out one of the sources of the noise. “Look, the cider survived!”

His helmet tilts almost disapprovingly, but he does nothing else as he holds her blaster out to her. “C’mon.” he all but huffs impatiently.

“Okay okay, sorryy- ” she slurs, stumbling over the same body as she returns and accepts her blaster. “One of these are yours ya know!” Mando is already walking away as she’s throwing her up bag over her shoulder, and she has to scramble to keep up with him, a move that makes her trip on her own two feet.

His helmet tilts over his shoulder at her. “Can you walk?” She’s not sure if it’s meant to sound demeaning or not, but it makes her puff her chest as she pouts at him.

“Of course I can walk!” she shoots back. “You’re just going too fast.” He grunts in response, helmet facing forward again and continues his pace. She’s not sure if it’s the spice but his strides feel more rushed than usual. His shoulders are also still fully straight, she notices and something tugs in her chest as she tries getting a sense of what his body language is telling her. She’s only a step or two behind him, and her eyes wander to the floor in front of her, the words spilling out before she can stop herself. “..are you mad at me?”

She almost sounds like a child, remorseful and heavy with guilt and she already hates how it comes out. But what punches harder is his response. Or his lack of it. Because he simply keeps walking at the same pace, fully ignoring her. No grunt, no hum, not even a sigh. And for some reason, this makes her ache. She stumbles over her own feet again and almost instantly she can feel tears threatening to well under the skin of her cheeks. She wants to curse herself for getting emotional, but it has to be liquor making her moods swing so drastically, she tells herself. Not that this thought doesn’t stop her from speaking again.

“I’m fired aren’t I- ”

Before she can blink, she runs face-first into a wall of beskar as he stops abruptly. She can’t help but yelp as she clutches her now-throbbing nose and when she looks back up, he’s turning to face her again. He stares at her until the silence frays at her nerves, and just when she can feel her face burning up to her ears, she hears a soft exhale from his modulator.

“C’mon,” his voice is soft as his right arm slightly pokes out towards her. “I can hear you tripping around from up here.”

Her brows furrow ever so slightly. “Are you makin’ fun of me?” she asks.

“Does it sound like I am?”

Her eyes narrow this time. “Mayybe.” she coos. But she loops her arm into the crook of his elbow and is silently delighted when he tucks her against his side. She finds it much easier to match his walk now and she can’t help the jump in her pulse as she’s pressed closer to him. In fact, she has to bite her lip to stop the silly grin threatening to spread across her cheeks. They walk in comfortable silence for a while before her spinning brain comes up with another enquiry.

“Mando?”

“Hm?” His response is barely registered under his modulator.

“How’d you find me?”

For a moment, Din doesn’t answer. And it’s not for the lack of one either. He’s just not sure where to begin. Does he start when he first re-entered the Crest to find the kid safe and sound but with her nowhere in sight? Or when he went back outside in hopes that she was on the roof stargazing or fiddling with the ship. Or when he started speed-walking through the nearby alleys because now he really couldn’t find her and just before his panic could bubble over, a single sound just yards away made his heart stop before he jump-started into a full sprint for her.

“I heard you scream.” he eventually replies and it almost sounds like his teeth are pressed together under that helmet.

She smiles at that. My hero. She almost wants to swoon until he speaks up again.

“I’ve warned you about being alone Sen’ika,” His tone is still soft, but firmer this time. She flinches and tucks her face down from him, nodding once.

“I know, I- ” her head swirls at the pang of shame but she swallows the urge to say anything other than what was necessary here. “I’m sorry.”

Another pause of silence. She decides to focus on their footsteps instead. There was something about the synchronized crunch of gravel under their boots that just satisfied every single sense in her. And it isn’t until she looks up and gets a full glimpse of the night sky that she realizes the spice is still very much in her system, unnatural neon lights and shapes bouncing across the stars. She stares in drunken awe up at them for a little too long and when she sees the Crest finally back in eyesight, she practically deflates in relief.

“Hey,” Then, Mando gently slides his arm out of their loop, leather ghosting down the length of her arm until he cups his palm over her fisted hand. “What matters to me most is that you’re safe,” he says softly. His visor turns to her, and he slowly opens her hand to slide his own into her palm. His gloved thumb gently squeezes her knuckles in what she can only gather as reassurance. “Okay?” His tone is so warm, it’s almost tender.

It catches her so far off guard, she’s pretty sure she short-circuited and is only still breathing on emergency autopilot. Her cheeks flush up and her eyes are blown wide open in the same sweet doe-like expression he adores so much, that he can’t help but smile behind the safety of his helmet. She blinks and she almost resets, clearing her throat as she looks straight ahead. She’s still blushing as she smiles and nods once. “Okay.” she replies sweetly.

Even his gloves are impenetrable, thick and almost twice as large in size. But she can still feel a warmth radiating from the other side against her skin. Suddenly feeling brave, she shifts, slipping through his gloves and slowly linking their fingers together. Mando stiffens at first, until her nails sink into the shape of his knuckles, and he internally melts. Before he can process his own reaction, he squeezes back, his thumb gently stroking over her own.

She looks up again, grinning from ear to ear. Clouds are dancing in her vision, stars swelling and shrinking in size across the painted skies. She dares herself to glance at him from the corner of her eye. He’s looking straight ahead thankfully, only semi-lit under the glow of the moons, but his beskar has never been more radiant. The same colors in her eyes bounce off the high points of his armor, illuminating him in an almost ethereal glow. She can’t stop her eyes from wandering. He’s perfectly shaped from every angle. He stands tall and proud, and walks with an effortless swagger so few could replicate. His mere presence can shift the focus of an entire room. He’s daunting and striking and is the picture of discipline and strength. Yet he cradles her hand in his like she’s made of glass. She’s never seen anything past the chiseled cut of his helmet, yet he’s never looked more beautiful in her eyes right now. She knows she shouldn’t be looking at him the way she is right now; with stars in her eyes and the softest, most affectionate little smile spreading from cheek to flushed cheek.

“You’re so pretty~” she slurs out in the sweetest tone. From behind his beskar, Din’s heart jumps into his throat.

“You’re drunker than I thought.” He doesn’t skip a beat though, somehow keeping his tone flat and neutral.

“It’s still truee,” she shoots back, leaning against his side with a wide grin. “It’s always been true!”

He glances at her wordlessly and she smiles back at herself through his visor. He’s not sure what to say to that, if anything, he’s too flustered to think of a rebuttal. He’s never been called pretty by anyone, even as a joke. Eventually he clears his throat and looks away and she only grins wider. Did she just leave him speechless? She can’t help but try to read his body language for any hints.

BONK.

Unfortunately she’s so distracted by the dancing Mudhorn on his pauldron that she fully trips on the descending base of the Crest’s ramp. The only thing that stops her from falling on her face is Mando’s sudden grip on her elbow. His visor slowly turns to her again. And she knows he’s frowning this time. He yanks her back to her feet and they finally ascend to the deck. She sighs happily once she stumbles into the safety of the Crest.

As Mando closes and locks up the gangway behind them, a late thought suddenly strikes her. She turns to him with panicked eyes. “The kid!?”

“Shh-!” He quickly hushes her with a gloved pointer over her lips. She stares into her own flushed reflection as her voice echoes into the cockpit above. She’s hyper-aware of just how loud she’s being now that she’s no longer outside. Along with the scent of sunkissed leather directly under her nose. She doesn’t move until his finger slowly pivots to her right and when she follows his direction, she spots his hover pod, sealed up and safe and sound, just as she’d left him.

She sighs softly and her shoulders slump in relief. Mando leans in pointedly. “You’re lucky you were right.” he whispers into her hair. “He didn’t flinch when I got home.”

As goosebumps sprout up the back of her neck, he pulls away and crosses the room to the ladder. “I’m gonna lock us down. We’ll leave first thing tomorrow.” Just before he climbs, he turns back to her. “Bedtime, Sen’ika. Now.” It's a gentle, but final warning.

She nods wordlessly and he leaves her in the middle of the room, dizzy and flustered. Her ears are also ringing now that she’s swallowed in silence. Eventually, she slowly pads into her designated corner. Her hammock is tucked away in the pocket of an empty storage closet, a thin makeshift curtain the only barrier between her ‘room’ and the deck. The walls hum around her and she realizes the heat has been turned back on, thankfully. She’s too drunk to fully wash up but she’s got enough energy to rip off her tight, itchy outdoor clothes and boots. She grabs the closest pajama-adjacent shirt and lounge pants she can find and wriggles them on.

She opens her hammock and finally allows herself to lay down, eyes turned to the dim ceiling.

How would it have felt if she’d laid her head on his shoulder?

No.

Would he have pushed her away? Or allowed her to stay?

Her brain’s focus shifts to the vision of his arms. His hands. His sweet, soothing voice.

I mean, he let her hold his hand, didn’t he? And hug him. Surely she could’ve gotten away with a little shoulder lean.

Gods, no.

Is he soft under all that armor? Does he run hot or does the beskar keep him cool? Is there a human face behind that m-

No! Stop it!

She physically shakes her head to break her train of thought. This was dangerous terrain. Just because you’re drunk doesn't mean you should be humoring these silly curiosities of yours! Her eyes squeeze shut and as she tries to take a deep breath, she realizes her heart is racing.

This is ridiculous.

Okay, so what if she has a crush on her employer?? It's not exactly a new phenomenon, and it certainly wasn’t the first boss she’d ever fallen for either. What was insane was what she liked about him. Because for the very first time, she couldn’t put a face to it. Instead, it was in his voice. His strength. His unwavering faith in his Creed, in the Way. He was loyal, honorable and resourceful. Stubborn as a Bantha, but quick to strike like lightning. He was also kind and selfless. He had the patience of a saint for the Child and innocent locals and despite his daunting appearance, he never hesitated to help out others, even if it meant pushing back on their schedule. There were actually various reasons why she liked him, and she couldn’t even put a name to a single one of them.

Not that any of it mattered. Because not a word of this would be uttered to anyone, let alone to him. Not to mention that this was a temporary gig, it’s not like she’d be around much longer anyway. The last thing she needed was to complicate this job for herself with her unprofessional schoolgirl behavior.

Squeezing her eyes shut, she shifts her focus to the only other thing clouding her judgment. Her head is still spinning but the heaviness behind her eyes makes it easy to keep them closed. She also focuses on slowing her breath, allowing her limbs to fully sink into the cradle of her hammock. A few minutes melt away and just as she finally feels herself beginning to drift..

“Pin her down.”

She physically jolts awake as the image of her ex-attackers kneeling over her flashes behind her eyelids. Her heart jumps to her throat as that same awful wave of nausea courses through her. Okay so clearly she wasn’t over what happened just yet. Her stomach turns again though this time for far more terrifying reasons.

She leaps to her feet before she can stop herself. She’s not sure what she wants just yet, but she knows whose presence she needs. She whips her curtain aside and almost jumps out of her skin when she sees Mando already standing at her doorway. “G-Geez- !”

He doesn’t flinch. He’s also holding a metal cup that he offers to her when she looks at it. “Drink this before you fall asleep,” he simply says.

“What is it?” she accepts it anyway, peering inside before taking a test sip.

“Just water,” Mando pauses and inwardly smiles when she gags at the aftertaste. “and powdered electrolytes to cut your hangover time in half. You'll thank yourself in the morning for it.”

“Mm, awesome!” she flashes him a pained grin and he almost chuckles. She’s so adorable like this, it’s almost painful.

He lingers for just a moment longer before he nods once. “Sweet dreams.” He starts walking away until a single hand on his arm makes him stop in his tracks. His helmet shoots towards her expectantly and when her eyes meet his visor, her voice suddenly clamps in her throat. She catches the almost-panicked expression in her reflection’s eyes and looks away. She almost starts apologizing, but he turns towards her instead, closing the distance between them. “What’s wrong?”

“I- ” Her face feels warm again despite her growing anxiety and she feels betrayed by the flush burning across her cheeks. She huffs and looks down at her feet. “Never mind, it’s n- ”

“Sen’ika,” He doesn’t even have to say anything else. His helmet ducks to try and catch her eye. “Tell me.” His voice is so gentle and reassuring that she has no choice but to succumb.

Fuck it, right?

“C… can I stay with you tonight?” Her voice is so soft, it’s almost a whisper. Her hand gently squeezes his sleeve, teeth catching on her bottom lip. “I don’t.. wanna be alone tonight..” To be fair, it wasn’t a lie.

It’s so quiet, you could hear a pin drop from the cockpit. In fact, she can’t even hear him breathing. Fuck. Did she fuck it up? Is he weirded out? Is she fired? Again?? Fuck! Take it back!

She has no idea just how startled Din really is though. She can’t hear his heart doing somersaults in his chest or how almost-terrified he looks behind the visor. But then she looks up at him with those frantic angel eyes for just a moment, he knows that despite whatever’s asked of him, how could he ever deny his little bird?

She opens her mouth and he perks up. ”Okay,” he says. It’s just as soft as she asked and almost nervous. He nods to follow up and clears his throat. “Of course.”

Her eyes round and she blinks back at him, almost dumbfounded. Holy shit, it worked? “Yeah?”

He nods again. “Yeah,” he replies lightly before his helmet jerks in the direction of his bunk. “C’mon.”

He crosses the room to his bunk to open the hatch. The kid’s pod is hovering peacefully right by the door where either of them can reach him if they have to. She follows him wordlessly where he steps aside for her. “Pick your spot, I’ll be right back.” he tells her.

Ironically, she was no stranger to his bed. He’d offered his room to her plenty of times before she carved out a spare corner for herself to give him his privacy back. She never imagined she’d actually be sharing it with him for once. She downed the last of her water and put the cup aside before she stepped into the bunk. She decided to slide into the corner facing the wall to give him as much space as possible.

Mando’s only gone for a few minutes, but in her panicked, overthinking state, it feels like ages. She finds comfort in his sheets. After getting so used to this space then moving out for a stretch of time, they felt familiar and almost welcoming to come back to. She acknowledged this was mostly due to their scent, the warm, woodsy musk that she recognized as what was likely the scent of his skin. She nuzzles into his blankets, inhales and sighs into them.

Then his boot steps echo back into earshot. She rolls onto her back and props up on her elbows, watching his shadowed figure fiddling outside. After a particularly heavy sigh, he clicks a light off and steps inside. For a second, he almost looks like a shadow sliding along the walls. It’s then she realizes he’s not wearing his beskar. He's stripped down to his full flight suit, boots, gloves and of course, his trademark helmet. There’s still not a shred of skin in sight but this still gives her a full view of his own figure. She’s dumbstruck at just how broad he truly is even without his armor. Then, it dawns on her that he took off his beskar to make room for her and something flutters under her ribs.

He looks at her and she scoots into the wall. His gloves clench and unclench in a subtle twitch as he slides into the space next to her. It’s a tight squeeze, laying shoulder to shoulder, but it’s a fit that would’ve probably been unbearable with the few inches of additional armor on. She crosses her arms, making herself smaller and fitting around the bigger gaps between them.

They both sigh and for a moment, it’s quiet. Her heart’s weirdly racing and she’s not sure what to say. Or if anything should be said at all. He shifts next to her, and her first thought is that he’s warm, even under his dense flight suit. He sighs again, and it sounds spent. She wonders if his eyes are closed behind that helmet.

Her head cranes towards him. “Long day?”

A short huff cracks through his modulator. “Something like that.” He’s smiling behind that response.

She grins back and looks up at the dark ceiling again. Colors are still swirling in her eyes if she squints long enough, but they're fading, she notes. There’s another short pause before this time, he breaks. “If.. this is too uncomf- ”

“It’s not.” she cuts in sweetly, still smiling to herself. Despite the angle, he’s warm and sturdy and she’d never felt more secure sandwiched between a man and his metal walls. She gently nudges his side. “Thanks again for saving my ass.”

He huffs again and nudges back. “Any time.” he replies.

She giggles and pauses, words pricking at the tip of her tongue. She’s feeling brave again and in her growing drowsiness, she decides to throw caution to the wind one last time. “Mando?”

“Mm?”

She inhales and shifts, her chin gently pressing into his shoulder. “Can I be honest about somethin’?”

His helmet shifts to her expectantly before pointing his chin at her. A silent approval to keep going. “I’ve been surrounded by armies my whole life. For as long as I can remember. Rebels, mercenaries, outcasts. You name it, I’ve met ‘em,” She peers up at his visor, ensuring she’s making eye contact. “And I’ve never felt safer with any of ‘em than I have with you.”

He doesn’t so much as twitch, but she swears she hears his breath seize under the helmet. Once again, his chest blooms and swells and something warm settles in his stomach. He smiles inwardly and before he can stop himself, a gloved hand comes up between them, leather knuckles stroking along the shape of her cheek.

She leans into it for just a moment and then she breaks through, ducking under his arm to curl herself up into his side. She rolls onto her own side, an arm draped across his chest and her head resting below his collarbone. Surprisingly, he not only allows her position shift, but he wraps his arm around her and even pulls her into him. “I made a promise to you,” he says. His hand settles between her shoulder blades, his thumb tracing a single circle into her back. “As long as you’re with me, you’ll be safe from harm. I intend to keep that promise as long as it takes.”

With her ear pressed into his shirt, she realizes that his pulse is racing against her. He also smells nice, like a combination of gunsmoke, the outdoors and the linen of his sheets. It’s woodsy and crisp, but it’s warm and homey and so intoxicatingly comforting.

She wants to say it.

She could get away with saying it if she played it right. But she's too drowsy and delirious and exhausted to keep thinking. He’s draping his blankets over them, tucking her into the ultimate heat source and she wants to soak in it. There’s a cool press against her hair and she realizes that his helmet is leaning into her. “Is this okay?” he whispers to her.

She nuzzles into his shirt and sighs contentedly. Sleep is pulling her into its depths faster than she anticipated but she has enough energy to sweetly mumble, “No. It’s better than okay.”

He exhales through his nose from above her and his hand gently rubs her back. “Get some sleep, mesh’la,” he purrs. “I’m here.”

She doesn’t know what that one means. She makes a mental note to ask tomorrow. Right now, she picks her head up to press a single kiss into his collarbone before plopping back down. “G’night Mando..”

His heart rate picks up again. He pulls her up closer so her head is nestled into the crook of his neck. This allows her to wrap both arms around him. His helmet tilts down and she swears she feels his eyes on her. “Good night.”

She closes her eyes and smiles, allowing herself to sink into his warmth and scent for the first and probably only time. Her words were never truer than in this moment; never had she felt safer than in this tiny bunk, wrapped in her Mandalorian’s blankets. She falls asleep shortly afterwards, her breaths evening out and her heartbeat slowing into a tranquil pace. This time, her mind takes her to more pleasant dreamscapes.

She can’t detect Mando at all, listening to her pulse as she sleeps. She doesn’t feel how long it takes before his gloves slip off in the dim lights and two arms fully wrap around her. She can’t sense his warm palms holding her against him, one across her back, the other coming up to smooth and brush her hair. And she’s long gone by the time he makes the conscious choice to give his helmet a break, telling himself he needs the air and it’ll be back on long before she wakes up tomorrow.

Somewhere in her subconscious, thoughts flash across her eyes; images of the Child, his laugh, his bright brown eyes, and his infectious joy. Repeated images of Mando, his visor, his cape, his arms. His sheets. His voice. His leathered touch. Their hands linked under a coat of stars.

She swears she feels a pair of ghostly lips brush against her forehead, if only for a moment, but she never quite figures out where they came from. Not that it matters. Because for now, this is enough. Even if it is only temporary.

* * *

a/n: stream season 3 only on disney + <3

[befuddled-calico-whump]

✨Content Tagging Guide✨

disclaimer: this is not directed at anyone, nor was it sparked because I've seen anyone mistagging anything. I just like lists and I'm going to make it everyone's problem :)

So you wanna write a story with darker themes, but are mayhaps a little uncertain about all the different content warnings you've seen.

Not to worry! Hopefully this quick guide will clear things up. To illustrate each level, I'm going to use macaroni and cheese as the content example. Without further ado...

cw: macaroni and cheese

^^this warning is very general. It tells the reader the content will show up at some point within the text, but doesn't specify the detail, use, or extent.

cw: macaroni and cheese (mentioned)

They drove through town, past the busy main street, and the factory where the local brand of macaroni and cheese got its packaging.

This warning tells readers the content will be mentioned; maybe in dialogue, or in a description, but not explored in detail.

cw: macaroni and cheese (discussed)

"I'm lactose intolerant," he said. "So I can't---well, I shouldn't eat stuff like that."

"But you did anyway?" they pressed. "I'm sorry, just... How did it feel? After?"

"Awful. I really should've listened to my common sense and ordered something besides mac and cheese."

As you'd expect, this warning tells the reader that the content will be discussed, either in conversation, or through a character's thoughts. Discussions can involve the moral implications of the content, how the content fits within the world, philosophies relating to the content, and the emotional or lasting effects of the content on a character.

cw: macaroni and cheese (referenced)

He tapped her shoulder. "Hey, I didn't see you after work yesterday, you okay?"

"Fine now," she said, shrugging. "I just had a bad batch of mac and cheese for lunch."

Very similar to "mentioned", this warning often implies a non-explicit, non-graphic mention of the content.

cw: macaroni and cheese (implied)

He frowned down at the bowl, then averted his eyes, appetite lost by the gooey yellow mass inside, and the heavy, creamy smell wafting off it.

This warning tells readers that the content is not outright stated, but the character's reactions and actions imply what's going on. If you could remove the context from the scene/paragraph in question and make it look like something else is happening, you probably have implied content. Note that there is a difference between simply "implied", and "heavily implied".

cw: macaroni and cheese (fade to black)

She took her seat at the table, queasiness building in her stomach. Her least-favorite food was to be served, and while she knew it would be rude to decline it, she wasn't looking forward to lunch. As the dreaded bowl was placed before her, she picked up the fork, and plunged it in.

Similar to implied, but instead of carrying on through the scene the content takes place in, fade to black builds up to the moment, and stops, often transitioning to the next scene before the content is given any kind of detail.

cw: macaroni and cheese (non-explicit)

For lunch, he was served a bowl of mac and cheese, one of his least favorite meals. He choked it down anyway, and hoped he wouldn't get an upset stomach.

This tells the reader the content will be present in some form, but not described in detail. It may have some active bearing on the character or plot, but won't be particularly graphic. While the character may be emotionally affected after the fact, the content itself is glossed over.

cw: macaroni and cheese (explicit)

The bowl was placed in front of him, steam still rising from the substance inside. He knew what it was before he looked. Mac and cheese. And he'd have to devour the entire bowl of it. He lifted the first forkful, strands of yellow cheese trailing from squishy curved noodles, all the way back into the bowl, even as he raised it to his mouth. Damn, it was extra cheesy. He knew his lactose intolerance just wouldn't hold up.

This is often used as the heaviest warning, telling readers that the content and the characters' reactions to it will be described in detail.

Again, this was something I mostly just wrote for fun, and to dramatize mac and cheese but I do hope someone out there finds it helpful. Let me know if there's a type I missed! :)

[jeankluv]

Think I need someone older || Trafalgar Law x fem!reader

Words: 2.8k

Summary: Law was resting for a couple of days in a remote island and he has been amazed by you since he saw you the first day.

Warnings: +18, smut, rough sex, p in v, daddy kink (just two times), age difference (law is in his 40s and reader is in her late 20s), pet names, no use of y/n, possessive Law, dom Law, semi-public sex (in a library)

Note: so it’s Law’s birthday tomorrow what better way to celebrate it, than with a smutty one shot of the hottest man in OP.

Materialist

Law was sitting in that old bar from an island he didn’t even remember it’s name. His crew and him were resting in that town after a couple of weeks of sailing across the West Blue. Nothing interesting was happening in that town, ordinary people with ordinary lives. Or at least that’s what he thought when he stepped a foot on that island, until he saw you, a beauty. Law wasn’t a man that would fall on his knees for a woman after only seeing her but for you, he would. Your beauty was unmatchable, never in his years of sailing had he come across with such beauty.

You passed next to him, moving your hips making it impossible for him to look away. The floral dress you were wearing that day, short, showing your long legs, drove him crazy. And ever since that day he couldn’t seem to get the thought of you out of his head. He shook his head and finished his cup. He needed to go to the library of the town and see if he could find some medicine books he was looking for, or else he would have to stop on the next island.

He walked across the streets of the small town, searching for you, trying to see if he could see you on the market. But nothing, you weren’t around. He sighed and went to the library, he opened the door with one hand and the other one holding his katana. He looked around searching for someone that could help him.

“Leave… a client came in. I don’t want to keep talking about this anymore. So you better leave and don’t come back here.” He heard a voice, a female voice.

He waited there, without moving, just looking around at the books that were on the shelves.

“Hi excuse sir. How can I help you?” Law turned around and there you were, as stunning as the first day. You were wearing another floral dress, and your hair was on a braid that fell down on your back. And fucking hell, you were giving him the most beautiful smile.

“Yes, I’m looking for some medicine books.” He said swallowing, you nodded and told him to follow you.

You walked in front of him and you could feel his eyes all over you. Just like the first day when you saw him in town. You couldn’t lie, that man, catched your eye when you first saw him. It looked familiar and of course it was familiar, he used to be one of the famous Super Novas, in the same generation as the King of the Pirates, Monkey D. Luffy. He was in fact, the Surgeon of the Death, Trafalgar Law. You remember your father reading the newspaper years ago and commenting how a group of kids was making a mess in the new world.

But the reason he caught your eye wasn’t because he was a known pirate but because of how hot he was. He was older than you, you knew that but that didn’t stop you from daydreaming with having him touching you, all over your body. You swallowed hardly, trying to get those thoughts away from your head, you were currently at work, you couldn’t be thinking about a hot pirate in his 40s fucking you senseless on the back office of the library.

“Here you have them sir.” You said pointing at the shelves where the medicine books were at. “If you need anything, please call me.” You gave him a smile and turned around.

“Princess, what’s your name?” Princess. “I would like to call you princess, but I don’t think it would be appropriate.” You looked at him and he was looking at you, with hungry eyes and a smirk on his face.

You told him your name and when he repeated with a smile, you could feel yourself melting in that place. You wanted to hear it more, but you needed to focus on work. You turned around and started walking as fast as you could, making your heels click throughout the library. Arriving at your position, you sat down in the chair and sighed. You picked up the book you had halfway started and continued reading it. You read it for about 5 minutes before hearing the door of the entrance opening.

“What are you doing here? I told you like 20 minutes ago to leave.” You closed the door and looked at the person in the door angrily.

“C’mon babe, I got you your favorite.” He said showing you the flowers.

You huffed and rolled your eyes, those weren't your favorites. “Those aren’t my favorite. Now leave, I told you I didn’t want to talk with you anymore.”

“Let’s try to fix it babe, it was a mistake.” He tried holding your hand but you backed off.

“A mistake? So that’s what it’s called cheating on me not once but several times?” You raised your voice. “Fuck you.”

He shook his head and held you from the wrist. “Let’s talk, it won’t happen again alright?”

“Hey kid.” A deep voice talked from the side. “She told you to leave, so you better start leaving.”

“Who the fuck are you?” He looked at him, thinking he would have any chance against him.

“They know me by the nickname of Surgeon of the Death. You want to know why?” Your ex swallowed and let your wrist go after hearing those words, because of course he knew who he was. “Leave and don’t ever come near her or I will show you why they call me that.”

Your ex almost ran away from the library, he didn’t even look at you or say a single word. You were grateful he appeared in that moment and he helped you with that ugly situation.

“Thank you for that.” You looked at him.

“Your wrist…” He said looking at it. “It’s red, let me check it.”

“Oh! No it’s okay, it’s just…”

He held your wrist and pushed you closer to him. “I’m a doctor, so let me take care of you, alright princess?” There it was, once again that nickname. You looked him in the eyes and simply nodded.

He checked your wrist, touching it in different places to make sure it was okay. He nodded and let your wrist go, telling you that it was okay.

“Again, thank you for what you did.” You smiled at him. “My ex… he is kinda a dick.” You gave him a small smile, trying to make it look as normal as possible.

“I see…” He whispered. “That kid shouldn’t be treating you like that. He was the one talking to you when I came in right?” He said laying his back to the wall next to him.

“Yeah… he wanted to try things out once again because according to him I don’t have any other options in this town and I’m getting and blah blah blah, but I guessed you listened to us…”

“He cheated on you.” You nodded. “An absolute dick to cheat on a girl like you.” You clenched your fists and your thighs when he said that. You felt your heart rate increase, his voice was so deep and his gaze was so intense looking at you.

“I guess all boys are like that.” You played your hands.

“Maybe you need a man and not a kid.” Your breathing hitched when you felt him approach you.

Your gaze was still fixed on your hands, you didn't want to raise it, you didn't want to have to look at him and face what that infamous pirate was causing in you with just his deep voice. But Law didn't care and he grabbed your chin making you look him straight in the eyes. You looked away not wanting to look at him.

“C’mon look at me princess.” He said in a low tone.

You swallowed and you looked at him.

“So pretty.” He smiled.

You took a deep breath and took away your nervousness. “Maybe you’re right… I need a man.”

The sexual tension in the air was palpable. You wanted him and he wanted you, and you were willing to give yourself in. You bit your lower lip and sat up straight in the chair.

“Princess, tell me what you want, I need to hear it.” He said cupping your face with one of his big hands.

Your chest rose and fell, wanting to say those three words. I want you. I want him.

“I… want you…” You whispered.

“How princess?” He said almost touching your lips, you wanted them so badly.

“All over me, touching me… fucking me.”

He cupped your face with both hands and kissed you, capturing your lips. You groaned into his mouth due to the sensation it caused you. His tongue entered your mouth and started to play with yours.

“I wouldn’t mind fucking you on this pretty desk you have here.” He broke the kiss. “But I don’t want any of the villagers of the town to see how I fuck you and how I made a mess out of you.” You tried catching you air and tried to say something. “Or would you like that huh? You want me to fuck you here so when your little ex comes back sees how it’s done?” You moaned when he grabbed you and put you close to him, feeling his strong chest.

“We can go… to the back, no one usually goes around that area and... I can put the closed sign, that way no one would bother us.”

“Guide me princess.” He whispered to your ear.

You went to the door and put the signal of Closed and took his hand to guide him to the isolated part that was in the back of the library. Once inside that place, you felt Law standing behind you, his tall and muscular figure gave off a warmth like no other. You noticed how he hunched over and moved the braid away from your back, leaving your neck exposed. His breath hit your neck, making all your hair stand on end at the sensation. He rested his hand on the shelves and brushed his lips against the back of your neck, you gasped at the warmth of his lips. You turned to face him, you could see how his gaze passed from your eyes to your lips repeatedly. He stopped leaning and cradled your face with his hands, then kissed you with need, wanting to devour you. He growled against your lips, and intensified the kiss, lowering his left hand from your face to your hip, grabbing you tightly and pulling you against him.

You felt your legs trembling at the sensation that that pirate was causing you, you wanted him to start touching you as soon as possible. Your back was completely supported by the bookshelf while Law pressed himself closer to your body. You could feel the bulge in his pants, which made you start to get even wetter. You let out a moan as Law began to kiss your neck. You put your hands on the shelves to avoid falling, your legs were completely shaking and you didn't think you could remain standing if you didn't hold on to something. Law grabbed one of your legs, pulling it up and causing your dress to ride up, exposing your underwear.

“Fuck princess, you’re driving me crazy.” He said against your neck. “I don’t think I will be able to wait any longer without fucking you.”

“Please…” You moaned when you felt his hand going near your sex.

“Yes? Say it.”

“I need your cock. I need you to fuck me.” You said against his lips.

“I will fuck you really good princess.”

His hand went straight to your underwear, taking them down quickly, he began to touch you and play with your clit, you had to hold on to his strong shoulders to not fall and to have him closer to you.

“So fucking wet and just for me princess.” He said not stopping the mess he was doing down there.

You saw how he began to unbutton his pants and how he later pulled down his boxers, exposing his hard dick. You swallowed hard when you saw it, your ex was nowhere near that size, nor that thick.

“Don’t worry princess. I will take really good care of you.” He said to your ear. “I am a doctor after all. I won’t hurt you.”

You told him that it was okay and in one quick movement he grabbed both of your legs and made you wrap your legs around him. You could feel his cock at your entrance, rubbing against you. You wanted to tell him to put it in, you wanted to shout at him, but only moans and gasps escaped your mouth. Little by little he entered you and you felt yourself opening up, the sensation was overwhelming but pleasant. Your eyes rolled back as he entered you fully, staying still as you took a deep breath and your body adjusted to him.

“I’m gonna move okay princess?” He whispered.

“Please…” You said back.

Law began to move his hips, moving in and out of you quickly. The place began to fill with your skin colliding and the moans of both of you mixing.

More. I need more.

“Harder please.” You said.

“Exactly, taking my cock so good.” He kissed your neck. “Fuck princess, you hear that? So fucking wet for me. You look so beautiful princess, with my dick on you.”

You rubbed against him, loving how deep he felt.

“You’re so deep fuck…”

“Yes princess. Did your ex fuck you like this?”

“No… fuck daddy…” You gasped and felt how his dick grew bigger inside of you when you said that word.

“Shit baby, don’t say that or I won’t be able to last long. And you want me to last right? To make you feel fucking good right?”

“Yesyesyes… please daddy.”

Law started to move faster than before, making you go crazy with how good he was making you feel. You could feel your body shake and getting closer each moment to your climax. Law moved you away from the shelves and laid you down on the floor, leaving you behind him. While he was still inside you, he pulled down the straps of your dress exposing your breasts to him. He began to squeeze your breasts and play with your nipples, while he was still grinding against you. You bit your lips trying to silence the moans that came out of you, but you couldn't, Law was making you feel so good, it was inevitable.

You don't know how much time had passed when you heard the front door open. You cursed, you had put up the closed sign, why did they come here? Law didn't seem to care in the least that they might catch you fucking between the shelves, because he kept fucking you like it was his last day. You heard your name being mentioned and then you fell into who he was.

“Fuck… why is he here again?” You whispered.

“Your ex huh?” Law looked at you. “Maybe I should make you moan harder so he knows how good a real man makes you feel.”

You moaned, hard when he touched your clit whole fucking you. You didn’t want your ex to see you in that situation but you didn’t want to stop. Law continued to thrust hard, making you moan, until you both came. Your legs were shaky when he pulled out of you and you didn't notice the moment Law covered you with his cloak and left.

You heard voices come from the entrance, a scream, and then the door open and close. You waited sitting between the shelves, and then you saw him arrive, Law. You bit your lower lip as you remembered what the two of you had done just a few minutes ago.

“What did you do?” You questioned him.

“You will never have to worry about that kid again. He won’t bother you again.” He said extending his hand for you to take it.

You took his hand and stood up, still feeling soak from the sex.

“Thank you…” You thanked him.

“Law.” He said, although you already knew that.

“Law.” You said for the first time and you told him your name and he savored the name like honey.

Who would thought that the pirate you used to see and hear so much about years ago, would have been the one to give you the best fuck of your life.

[vintagepascal]

yours in the morning

word count - 11k+ (lord help me, so sorry this took so long)

rating - mature, minors DNI

content warnings/tropes - violence, threats to life, angst, children in dangerous situations, enemies to lovers if you squint, cat calling, sexual harassment, guns, smut, kidnapping its an emotional rollercoaster okay

summary - in a desperate attempt to save yourself, you end up kissing Javi in a bar, which puts you in enough danger that he feels like he needs to protect you... if he can

———————————————————————-

All you had wanted was one fucking drink. And you’d earned it too - after the day you’d had, no one would have judged you for downing your vodka the way you just had in the bar behind you. They may have given you a bit of a look for the second one, but fuck it. Your self defense instructor from back in the states, however, would have much to say about where you were now. 

Walking the streets of Colombia at any time could be seen as dangerous, especially as a foreigner who stuck out like a sore thumb, but you weren’t doing yourself any favors tonight. Purse on your hip, still in your work scrubs, by yourself as the sun set behind the town lights, with a ten minute walk home ahead of you.

Textbook bad move.

Of course, you weren’t a total idiot. You had a few tricks up your sleeve that you could use in a pinch if you had to. But most days you were smart enough to avoid getting yourself into a situation where you would have to worry. Straight to the hospital and straight home, in the daylight if you could help it.

Tonight was not one of those nights, and it seemed that luck was not on your side. Even with the bit of fuzziness in the edge of your vision, you noticed the three men leaned up against the car immediately. They were a few blocks away, but you took note, pretending to look busy and crossing the street quickly. 

The knot in your stomach tightened when the tallest of the three stood up, beginning to move in your general direction. It was only then that you noticed the car. Raised bed, nice tires, new rims. There were only a few people in Colombia who drove cars like those, and everyone knew it too. 

Bile began to rise in your throat. Suddenly, the ever present humidity was even more stifling, the exhaust of the cars and constant haze of cigarette smoke choking the oxygen out of the air all around you.

The women in Colombia had a code, even for outsiders. You never, ever, went with anyone in the cartels if you could help it. But if they took you? You did what they asked, and you didn’t fight, or you’d never make it. Rule number one was to avoid it at all costs. 

“Aye, preciosa, ¿a dónde vas?” One of them called out. You kept your eyes down on the pavement, quickening your steps. Could you make it to your apartment?

No, that would be a stupid move. You couldn’t lead them to your house. You racked your brain for any safe havens between where you were and the safety of your place. It was true that the embassy wasn’t far, but that seemed like a bit of a stretch, and you knew they wouldn’t let you get that far. In the distance, you saw the faint lights of La 40, the bar closest to your place. Surely you could make it there.

The men were enjoying the chase. You chanced one glance behind you and sure enough, they were on your heels. You could barely hear their catcalls over your heartbeat in your ears.

Just get to the bar, just get to the bar and find someone, make them think you’re with someone, find someone who will help you, just get there, just get there, you chanted mentally over and over. 

A hand grabbed your shirt, yanking you backwards momentarily. You felt something rip, shred, and you didn’t stop to think. You shoved at them as hard as you could, the keys in your hands puncturing skin hard enough to startle, giving you a chance to break free. And you started to run, full speed, towards the purple lights of La 40, practically bursting through the doors when you got there, not caring about the looks you got. You knew they wouldn’t be far behind you, and you didn’t put it past them to try to take you from there, especially since you’d drawn blood. 

In the few seconds you had to spare, you scanned through the bar. It was sparsely filled up with groups of friends, and the occasional lonely man. Sitting at the bar was the only one who looked the part you needed - handsome, alone, strong. He was nursing what looked to be a whiskey, and you could see a gun holster on his belt. 

Perfect.

You heard the men yelling behind you, and you weren’t sure if it was the vodka or the adrenaline that made your next move, but you didn’t hesitate. Instead, you walked straight across the bar to the man you’d found - who luckily had seemed to notice you as well - and grabbed the front of his shirt, pulling him in for a kiss.

Besides the obvious, you had an additional ulterior motive. By catching the stranger by surprise, you loosened him up enough to wiggle your way between his knees, turning the barstool so his body was between yours and the door, his gun on display for the men to see when they appeared moments later.

Your stranger played his part well. After his initial shock wore off, he melted just enough, one hand going to your waist to hold you steady when you pulled away, his other hand on his gun. And he was a damn good kisser, so you didn’t mind that he pulled you back in for another quick one, his mustache just the right roughness against your skin, his lips warm with the burn of whisky that lingered when he pulled back again to look at you.

“Hola, mi amor,” you said loudly, loud enough for the men in the doorway to hear. 

“Hola,” the man in front of you said cautiously, not chancing a look behind him. The panic must have been evident in your eyes, because he didn’t hesitate. “You okay?” He whispered to you. You nodded at him once, smiling when he brought a hand up to brush some of your hair behind your ear. You blushed at him, turning your cheek to kiss his palm.

His eyes flitted across your face, then down to your shirt. You followed them, drawing in a sharp breath. There was a gaping hole in your scrubs, and the place where your badge usually hung was entirely gone, as were your credentials. Your heart sank.

“My-my badge,” you whispered. The man in front of you looked confused for a moment, and then angry as he turned his head quickly towards the door. He watched as one of the men dangled your badge in the air and then disappeared out of sight. 

“Fuck,” he mumbled. “That’s got your hospital and your name? First and last?” 

You could only nod. You took a step back, disentangling yourself from him as soon as they were gone. With a huff, he took his leather jacket off the back of his chair, offering it to you. You weren’t cold, but you felt exposed enough to take it gratefully, shoving your arms through the sleeves. 

“Do you know them?”

“No”

“You didn’t meet them at the hospital? Are they patients of yours?”

“No, they just saw me outside. Saw I was alone I guess,” you muttered, the memory already making your skin crawl. You looked at your stranger, the disgust in his eyes obvious.

“I’m-I’m sorry about ambushing you like that.”

“Believe me, I didn’t mind. But -”

“They were following me, and I panicked. You seemed like the safest bet in here.” You explained further, already feeling guilty for getting him involved. Had you put him in danger? The thought made you sick.

The man sighed heavily, pinching at his forehead with his hand.

“Well sweetheart, you’re simultaneously really smart, and really, really god damn stupid. You know what they were driving?” 

“Red, four door. Maybe a Ford but I’m not sure.” 

“How many of them?”

“Three.”

“And they were just outside on the street?”

“Yeah. I was walking home from work.”

“Nurse?” You nodded.

“From the states.”

Another nod.

“What are you doing down here then?” 

“Everybody left after Escobar. But they still need people, there’s hardly any nurses here. I just wanted to help.” Your voice was smaller than you liked it to be, and you steadied yourself with a breath. “Wait, what about me picking you out makes me stupid?”

The man sighed before leaning back in his chair, reaching onto his belt loop for something beside his gun that you hadn’t seen. 

He pulled out a badge. 

DEA.

Fuck. 

“Agent Javier Peña, at your fucking service,” he chimed, picking up his glass. “And those guys out there are with Cali.” “The cartel.” It wasn’t a question. You slid back down into the seat next to him, burying your face in your hands. Fucking around with the cops in town never looked good on anyone. “They know who you are?”

“Everybody knows who I am,” Peña muttered, downing the rest of his liquor and raising two fingers at the bartender, pointing at you. Despite your urge to humble him, it was true - now that he had said it, you realized that you had seen him before, on TV. He was known for calling out the political connections of Cali, and he’d made several big arrests.

“Vodka, actually,” you corrected the bartender, rubbing at your eyes. “How bad is this for me?”

“Well, since you decided to jump my bones in front of some of the most dangerous men in Colombia, you just got yourself added to the hypothetical hit list, minus the protection of the US government.” 

“You’re kidding.”

He took the new glass of whiskey in front of him and tipped the rest of it back as his answer.

“So what the fuck am I supposed to do?” The bartender sat your glass down and you snatched it, downing it almost immediately. It burned the whole way, and you fought back the gag it threatened to unearth.

“Get on a plane and go home.”

“Not funny, Peña.”

“Not joking,” he shot back. “And it’s Javi.”

“Seriously. Can those guys really find me just from my badge?”

He looked at you incredulously. “They’ll have your address by the end of the night. You can’t go home. They might not go so far as trying to kidnap you, but you’d definitely be in danger of being attacked, especially since you got away from them. They don’t take well to losing. And now that they saw you with me, they’ll just assume you’re leverage to get to the DEA, which makes you priceless. They’re particularly pissed with me at the moment, so your timing is spot on.”

“I thought they didn’t mess with Americans. They always said it was too risky.” You couldn’t hide the hope in your voice.

Javi’s eyes were cold.

“That was Escobar. Cali plays hard ball.” 

You fought back the tears that threatened to spill over, pressing your palms into your eyes. It didn’t work, and the colorful mosaic of the bar top was blurry as you tried to settle yourself without much luck.

 When you finally looked back up, Javi was staring at you intently, as if he was trying to solve some sort of puzzle. His lips parted a few times with words unsaid before he sighed, running his fingers over his eyes before he looked at the ceiling in surrender and finally spoke. 

“C’mon. I’ll take you to your place to grab what you need and you can hole up at my apartment until we find somewhere for you to go.”

“What?”

“It’s my place or the embassy, who will just ship you home.” 

Javi dropped enough pesos on the bar to cover both of your drinks and stood up quickly. 

“Offers expiring cariño.” He reached for his jacket, remembered that you were still wearing it, and turned towards the doors without another word.

You didn’t see many other options besides standing up and following him out of the bar. To your surprise, he offered you an arm that you gratefully took, seeing that the room was partially spinning. How had your night turned into this? It didn’t feel real. But soon enough you were climbing into his car, watching him move around to the drivers side and giving him directions to your place. It would have been easier to walk with all the traffic on the roads, but you made it there quickly nonetheless.

“I can have a bag packed in 15 minutes,” you told him, but he caught your thigh with his hand before you could move. 

“You’re not going in there by yourself. Wait.” 

You tried to ignore the way your skin burned while you watched him climb out of the car, pulling his gun out of the back of his pants while he walked around to your door.

“Might as well play the part,” he muttered after he opened it for you, offering you a hand. You walked quickly with him, unconsciously squeezing his fingers as you walked down the hallway to your apartment door. 

“Let me clear it first,” Javi said, motioning for you to stay behind him and wait. You handed him your key, trying to control your breathing as he disappeared through your doorway, pulling you in behind him and placing you by the door. 

A few minutes later, he returned, gun still in hand.

“You’ve got ten minutes. I’ll keep watch.” 

He posted himself at the door, eyes already flitting back and forth across the corridor as you ducked inside. You didn’t have time to think- you grabbed your suitcase and began shoving your most worn clothes in, your scrubs, your makeup and everything from your shower. You hadn’t brought many comfort items from home, but you couldn’t stand the thought of leaving them behind. Into the bag they went, followed by a few pairs of shoes and your favorite blanket. 

You rolled the suitcase to the door and out to Javi. 

“That was fast, I’m impressed,” he chuckled, taking the handle.

“One more thing and I’ll be out.” 

You headed back inside quickly, reaching into the hall closet to find the carrier you’d only recently purchased. 

“Bear, cmon buddy, we gotta go, cmon,” you called out, peeking around the apartment until finally you spotted him, cowering in the corner of your bathroom. You felt awful having to grab him and push him into his carrier, but you knew it would all be forgiven once he was safe. You gathered his essentials as well and took them to the hallway before emerging with his carrier and closing the door behind you.

Javi’s eyes blew wide when you reappeared. 

“Is that a cat?”

“Yeah.”

“No.”

“What?”

“You’re not bringing your fucking cat to my house.”

You raised an eyebrow at him and attempted to stand your ground by setting your feet, but you didn’t anticipate for the world to suddenly be spinning. The final of the vodkas had finally gotten to you it seemed.

“I’m too drunk for this conversation sir. Either take me and Bear, or leave me here to be disappeared or whatever the cali fucking cartel does to people,” you slurred with what you hoped was a smile, turning on a heel towards the car. A strong hand on your elbow turned you in the opposite direction and kept you from slamming into a wall. He was muttering in Spanish under his breath as he led you to the car, gruffly putting you in the front seat before locking the door and going back for your things - Bear included. 

You let your head rest against the cool glass of the window, hoping it would sober you up slightly on the drive. It served its purpose well enough, though the ride was short. You were able to at least carry Bear as Javi took your bags, eyes darting around as he hurried into an unassuming complex. Even drunk, you noticed that it took three separate keys to get in, and once you crossed the threshold you felt safe for the first time since you’d spotted the men on the street. 

Javi’s apartment was cooler than you expected - both in temperature, and in style. It was obvious that Uncle Sam was paying a pretty penny for a place like that so deep within Bogota, but you couldn’t quite be bothered about the details when you noticed that there was a nice leather couch in the middle of the living room. 

You began to walk towards it, and suddenly the tile floor was spinning up towards you.

“Jesus christ,” Javi muttered. There was a crash, presumably your suitcase falling as he dropped it, catching you instead. “You’re alright, I’ve got you” was the last thing you heard before the morning.

The first thing you noticed were the sheets. 

Silk. 

Definitely not your bed, and definitely not the couch. 

The lights were still out, but there was enough sunlight filtering through the blinds to illuminate the room and simultaneously hurt your eyes. The squint it caused immediately alerted you to your headache, causing you to roll over and bury your face in a pillow.

Something rough bit into your neck.

A zipper. A leather jacket zipper, from a man who you were suddenly very concerned about. 

You sat up quickly, head spinning a bit as you tried to scan the room, gather your surroundings. On the bedside table sat a glass of water and two small pills you recognized as advil. You took them gratefully, already feeling the pounding behind your temples. 

The air was chilly - a rarity in Colombia and a testament to the dedication of the AC unit you could hear whirring in the window. Even over the hum, you could hear the quiet clink of dishes in the kitchen. You pulled the sheets back, wrapping Javi’s jacket around yourself tightly and following the noise. Javi was in the kitchen, shirtless with his back turned to you. You couldn’t help but take the opportunity to stare at him. He was even more beautiful without the clothes - strong, sharp lines down his back that lead to the waistband of his pants. 

When he turned, you pulled your eyes up as quickly as you could, but his smirk let you know that it didn’t go unnoticed. 

“Buenos dias,” he hummed. 

“Good morning,” you blushed, pushing your hands into your pockets. “Thank you, for last night. I feel better than I deserve.”

“You’re welcome. Also, your kitten is a menace.” He frowned at you. 

“Sorry, he can be a bit shy around new people but he’ll warm up.”

Javi quirked an eyebrow at you and ducked down for a moment. When he stood back up, Bear was in his hand, gnawing on his finger. 

“Yeah, real shy. He’s been trying to make a meal out of me all morning. What’s his name again?” 

“Bear. At least, that’s what the woman who was feeding him in the street told me his name was. But that’s the only English word she said to me, so who knows if she was even giving me his name. He never responds to it anyways.”

Javi walked over towards you, sitting Bear down. He immediately greeted you, rubbing against your legs. 

“Oso,” Javi said. Bear immediately looked up, and you were surprised to see Javi smile. “We’re gonna have to start some Spanish lessons for you if you’re so intent on staying in Colombia. Which is still a terrible idea, by the way.” 

“I’m not leaving just because some assholes in the street decided to catcall me. They probably didn’t even recognize you anyways.”

Javi looked at you incredulously. 

“Do you know the first fucking thing about the cartel? Their reach? Any idea what the hell they’re capable of?”

His tone made your blood boil, both under your cheeks in a blush and in your fingertips, which gripped the edge of the counter. You didn’t take kindly to being spoken down to, especially hungover.

“Yeah actually, I do. I’m plenty aware of what both Cali and the DEA are capable of. Generally, when you all are raining bullets down in the middle of towns, I’m one of the nurses stitching up the aftermath.”

He was silent for a moment. Two pieces of toast shot up from the toaster on the counter, but only you jumped at the sound.

“All the more reason for you to just go home before it gets worse.”

“Who's to say they’re even going to come after me anyways? Javi, it feels like we're blowing this wildly out of proportion. So they saw me with you, big fucking deal. It doesn’t mean they’re going to target me - I know nothing about the DEA, or anything special about the cartel. I’m not actually important to you, and if they can really find all that information about me they’re going to figure that out pretty damn fast.” 

His eyes were cold when he turned to you. He looked as if he was ready to say something, but he stopped himself, thinking better of it. Instead he turned back around, putting one piece of toast on a plate and passing it to you, along with butter and a small jar of jam. 

You ate in silence, the tension palpable as you tried to think of the next thing to say. Javi seemed to be doing the same, stealing glances towards you that he thought you didn’t catch between bites of toast. 

You finally broke the silence. “I should just go home.”

“To the states? I’ll book your flight.”

“You know that’s not what I meant.”

“It’s not an option.”

“Fine.”

Javi stopped mid bite, quirking an eyebrow at you. Obviously he expected more of a fight. You turned on a heel and went back into the bedroom in search of your suitcase. It wasn’t hard to find - Javi didn’t have many things to begin with, and your bag stuck out like a sore thumb. You ignored the wrinkles in your scrubs as you pulled them on, wrapping your hair up in a bun and promising yourself a good shower later as you finished getting ready.

You knew that getting out the door wasn’t going to go smoothly. So you set your jaw and took a deep breath before you opened the door, not looking away from the exit as you headed straight for it. 

He was quicker than you thought. 

His hand hit the door just as you opened it, slamming it back shut.

“You don’t seriously think you’re going to work.” 

“Move, Javi.”

“Tell me you aren’t this stupid.”

“Move.” You repeated.

He didn’t budge, or warrant you with a response.

“If I realized that going with you last night meant being kept prisoner in here, I would have picked differently.”

“Yeah? And your night would have ended very, very, differently.” 

You chose to ignore that jab. 

“We have security at the hospital. I’ll tell them what’s happening, they can keep an eye out for me. And I’ll come straight back here after if that makes you feel better.”

“This isn’t about making me fucking feel better, Y/N. It’s about keeping you alive. Cali owns this entire fucking town, they probably are the security at the hospital.”

“Then what the hell do you suggest I do Javi? And if you say go back to the states one more fucking time, I swear to god-”

“Just…” He leaned up against the door frame, pinching the bridge of his nose like he had the night before. “Just give me a day or two. Call in today, let me get some stuff arranged and we can figure it out.”

Every part of you wanted to argue with him - it burned hot in the back of your throat, but there was something in his eyes, something earnest and true. 

Why do you care so much?

You chose your next words carefully. “Figure what out, exactly.”

“How to keep you safe.” 

“Fine.”

“Fine?” He obviously didn’t trust you after your earlier stunt in the kitchen. 

“Yes, Javi. Fine. I’ll give you today, and I’m already off tomorrow. But then I’m going back to work, one way or another.”

“Okay.” He looked you over a few times before turning back to the apartment and disappearing into his room. 

You wandered back towards the kitchen, busying yourself by cleaning up the plates from breakfast. Javi emerged shortly after in an outfit similar to what he was wearing the night before - devilishly tight jeans, with a bright red button down tucked in behind a belt, gun holster and badge on his hip and the outline of a pack of cigarettes in his pocket. 

“Phone is over by the table. Help yourself to whatever you can find, but there isn’t much. I’ll bring dinner later. Don’t leave the house, and don’t answer the door. Por favor,” he added sweetly at the end, throwing you a small smile before slipping out without another word. 

The next eight hours were boring to say the least. Javi’s apartment was the epitome of a bachelor pad. After you called in with the bullshit excuse of a stomach bug, you went on the hunt for something to entertain you for the day. The news was too depressing, every DVD you found was in Spanish, and otherwise, all you came across was liquor and various empty shelves in need of decor. It was obvious the man lived in his office and simply slept in his home, but you lucked out, finding an old English copy of Wuthering Heights tucked away on a shelf in his bedroom when you went to change out of your scrubs. 

It helped you pass the time, and Javi held true to his promise of bringing dinner home later that evening, coming through the door looking much more exhausted than when he’d left, with two paper bags in his hands. 

“Arepas,” he muttered, placing them on the counter. “Necesito ducharme, estoy asqueroso. Puedes comer sin mí.”

You stared at him for a moment over your book cover and he looked back, confused before he sighed. 

“Sorry. Long day. I’m gonna shower, I’m sweaty. Feel free to eat without me if you’re hungry.” 

“It’s alright, I’ll wait for you,” you answered, turning the page and pretending not to notice the way the sweat on his back made his shirt cling to his muscles. Damn. You really had picked a good one to follow home. 

Fifteen minutes later and he was back, rubbing a towel over his head as he spoke.

“Come eat, I’m fucking starving.” 

He was shirtless and in a pair of linen pants that took all of your focus to keep you from drooling over. They left little to the imagination, and you were grateful for Bear on your lap, or you may have gotten up embarrassingly quickly to follow him to the kitchen. 

There was a new energy buzzing around the apartment again - it had been faint in your haze last night, and you’d blamed it on the vodka but it was undeniable now. Unlike many others, you didn’t feel uncomfortable around Javi though. It was almost an excitement, a school girl nervousness that had you unwrapping your first arepa with your eyes cast down and afraid to look at him standing across the island from you. 

Javi was the one to eventually cut the tension. “So what’d you get up to all day?”

“I read mainly. Hung out with Bear. Or Oso I guess I should be calling him,” you chuckled. You’d only managed to find snack foods throughout the house, and the meal was welcome to your grumbling stomach. Javi didn’t hesitate to dig in, and somehow it was endearing to watch the crumbs get caught up in his mustache. Watching him be less than perfect broke his stoic persona. 

He looked back over at the couch, noticing your book choice.

“Are you a Brontë fan?” 

“It’s the only thing in English I could find. Are you is the more important question.”

He pondered it for a moment, eyes inquisitive as ever while he chewed before he shook his head. 

“I plead the fifth.”

“Uh huh. So, is it inappropriate for me to ask you what you did all day?” 

“Inappropriate?” He quipped around a bite of his barbacoa.

“I’ve heard you aren’t supposed to ask cops that. And, I’m not sure if you’re allowed to tell me anyways. Thought maybe it was top secret or something.”

That got your first true laugh out of him. “I don’t work for the CIA hermosa, it’s not highly classified. Mainly just run of the mill surveillance. Most stressful part of the day was watching your hospital, actually.”

“What were you doing at Marly?” You asked earnestly.

“I figured you’d be on my ass about when you could go back to work as soon as I walked in the door, so I’ve been trying to find an answer for you all day.”

You waited, chewing quietly. 

“They’re more lax than I’d like. But, there’s only your one main entrance and the ambulance bay, so if you can give good enough descriptions to your security guards they can probably keep you safe enough. Does anyone else know your work schedule?”

“My manager is the only one. It’s posted on the board when I get there so the other nurses know who is on the floor, but that’s required for safety. No one knows ahead of time though, so shouldn’t be a problem,” you reassured him before he could ask. 

He nodded at the new information, chewing through another bite of his arepa. The rest of dinner, and Javi’s two whiskeys, went down quietly, but you couldn’t help but tell him at the end of the night what had been on your mind since he’d gotten home. 

“Thank you. For doing all of this when you didn’t have to. I wasn’t fair to you earlier.” 

“You’re welcome.” His tone was sincere, and it made you relax. “It feels nice to help someone. Feels like all I’ve done since I came back down here is play damn politics. And I get it, it doesn’t feel good to be controlled.” 

“So… I’m forgiven?”

Javi gave you a true smile, and you felt your heart catch in your chest a bit.

“Forgiven, cariño.”

The rest of the evening went quickly, and suddenly you were faced with the realization that you’d forgotten about since that morning when you went in search of your suitcase.

Javi’s place was a one bedroom. 

You’d made up your mind by the time you’d brushed your teeth - over complicating things would be a bad move this early. And so you headed back to your couch, grabbing a blanket and towing it over to you. 

“Can I borrow a pillow?” 

“What for?”

“The couch.” 

Javi waited for an explanation, then laughed when he realized what you meant. 

“You don’t seriously think I’m gonna let you sleep on the couch, do you? Mi madre would roll over in her grave.” 

“I don’t see another option,” you murmured, picking at the fuzz on the edge of the blanket so you didn’t have to look at him. 

“I don’t bite cariño. We’re just gonna sleep, yeah? It’s a king bed, won’t even know there’s someone else there. Promise.”

If your pulse was any indication, you doubted that. But, you’d learned one thing for certain in your short time with Javi - he wasn’t one to back down from an argument. And so you sighed and brushed past him to the bedroom, avoiding looking at him as you climbed back into the bed you’d woken up in. You swore you heard him chuckle but you chose to ignore it, relieved when Bear jumped up onto the mattress and bumped up against your hand, giving you a welcomed distraction from Javi, who was looking around the room for something. Eventually, he grabbed his gun, his pack of cigarettes and a lighter, placing them carefully on his nightstand. 

He climbed into bed gently, as if he was afraid to jostle you. He did feel far away, but there was a tension between you, a rubber band someone could strum with the slightest flick of their finger. 

“Goodnight, y/n. I’ll try not to wake you up in the morning, I have to go in.”

“It’s fine Javi. Goodnight.” 

•••

The routine settled in as easy as a key in a well made lock. Javi drove you to work each morning you had a shift, and was there waiting for you like clockwork at 7pm on the dot when you left each evening. You shared dinner with Oso playing at your feet. After two weeks straight of arepas you’d finally demanded that Javi let you go to the market, which he of course demanded he accompany you to on his lunch break. But at least after that addition, on nights you didn’t work he came home to a fresh cooked meal, claiming that you ‘spoiled’ him. You felt it was the least that you could do considering you were living under his roof. Other small things changed. He brought home a few more books in English for you. You unpacked your suitcase. The space in the middle of the bed had gotten smaller. Some mornings you even woke up with a leg thrown over Javi’s, or your fingers touching under the sheets. Neither of you mentioned it. 

It was comfortable, and simple. 

Until it wasn’t.

He was supposed to be home at 6 that night. He wasn’t the most punctual of individuals, so you didn’t start dinner until close to it anyways. By 7, the pasta had gone cold, and by 8:30 you were pacing the living room, eyes darting towards the phone each time you walked past it. The last time he’d been running late he’d called, and that was when he was going to be home at 7:30. 

He’s probably just on a call. Surveillance. Maybe he had to travel. He’s fine. He’s fine. He’s fine.

By 9, you were searching every shelf in the house for some form of the Colombian yellow pages, desperate to find the number for the DEA, or the embassy, or anyone who could tell you where he was. 

You were so engrossed in your search that you didn’t even hear the first two locks on the door click. The third one was louder, and it was the only warning you had before the door burst open.

“Y/N!? Y/N! Where are you!?” Javi’s voice boomed louder than you’d ever heard it, echoing through the apartment. 

He found you before you could answer. You didn’t have time to process what you saw - his drawn gun, his wild eyes, the tear in his shirt or the blood running down his arm. It was all gone too quickly. All you could see was white linen, all you could feel was a strong arm around you as Javi held you to his chest in a bone crushing hug, the tightest you’d ever experienced despite him only using one arm. 

“Javi, what-”

Then he was dragging you, towards the door as he clicked the locks back into place one by one, sucking in each breath through his teeth as he held you against his chest, still checking his six, gun metal cold against the back of your shoulder, your face still pressed to his chest. 

“Are you okay?” He whispered to you, just loud enough for you to make it out. 

“I’m fine Javi, tell what’s happening,” you pleaded for an explanation. 

You smelled it then - that metallic smell that you associated with work, and usually chased quickly with bleach. 

Blood. The image of him running in came back to you and you fought against his grip and won, leaning back so you could see his arm. 

You knew a bullet graze when you saw one.

“You’re shot,” you breathed, brain clicking back on. “Why the fuck didn’t you go to the hospital, why did you come back here?” 

He didn’t answer. Instead he leaned forward, chest pushing into yours as he fished into his back pocket and handed you something square and white. 

Your knees buckled when you recognized it.

Your badge.

“What-”

“That was on the hood of my car. They’ve been watching us.” His eyes were still just as wild, his chest still heaving, and you were afraid he was going to collapse in the doorway. There was no way you could move him if he went down.

“You left out the part where you got shot,” you said, just to keep him talking. You weren’t sure you could take hearing him tell you about getting hurt. 

“Got ambushed trying to make it back here.”

“In your car?” He shook his head. Only then did you realize how sweaty he was.

“You ran here?”

“I lost them on the way,” he shifted his shoulder, then groaned, head rolling back. 

“You should have gone to the hospital Javi.”

“Had to know you were safe,” he panted. “Besides, I’ve got a nurse.” 

Despite all his pain, he offered you a smirk that made you want to smack him and kiss him simultaneously. Instead, you just shook your head and tucked yourself under his good arm, leading him over towards the bathroom as smoothly as you could. He winced the whole way, but you could tell he was trying to keep himself quiet for your sake. 

You had never been more thankful for your paranoia than you were when you pulled out your spare medical kit from under the sink. You’d seen too many accidents in the street, too many times where you didn’t have what you needed that you’d stocked up and vowed to always have the essentials. Sure, you’d rather have a hospital supply room, but you had enough to get him stable. 

Javi looked pale, leaned up against the porcelain edge of the bathtub as you scattered supplies around you, throwing anything you didn’t need out of your path in search of sutures and iodine, gauze and bandages. You ripped his shirt the rest of the way off his arm, panicking when he didn’t react. His eyes were screwed shut, sweat still pouring down his face.

“Javi, baby you gotta keep talking,” you muttered, opening the first package with your teeth. 

You received a hum in response, but nothing else until you poured the iodine on to disinfect the area. Javi’s good hand shot out towards anything he could grab as you began to dab at the wound. His fingers curled into your thigh hard enough to bite, but you didn’t care. 

“Tell me about Texas,” you demanded, moving to straddle his thigh and get a better angle - the bullet had grazed his bicep, and it wasn’t as deep as you had originally thought now that you’d cleared some of the blood. 

“Texas?” He mused, voice much weaker than you’d like.

“Tell me about Texas,” you repeated. “What’s it like there?”

“Hot.” He rasped. “Dry.”

“Good, that’s good Javi. Keep going. Where’s your favorite place in Texas,” you coached him as you pulled out a needle. It wasn’t going to be pretty, but you knew you were going to have to stitch him up if you had a hope of stopping the bleeding before he fully passed out on you. 

He began to murmur about the state while you prepped your sutures, the guilt already heavy in your stomach about the pain you were about to cause him. You let him talk about the Rio Grande and a trip with his dad, happy to hear his voice until you had to cut him off.

“Javi. I have to stitch you up. It’s going to hurt, but you have to sit still. Okay?”

He only nodded at you, eyes darting between yours until you broke away, leaning over him to brace against his arm, pressing the needle into his skin.

“Mierda,” he hissed, squeezing his eyes shut tight and your thigh tighter.

“I know, I’m sorry. I’ll be done soon, Javi, I’m sorry.”

“S’fine,” he grit out through his teeth, but you could tell it was anything but. You tried your hardest to go as quickly and smoothly as you could, using every bit of medical training you had to stay calm and collected until the last suture was through and his skin was pulled back together. You tied it off, letting out the breath you’d been holding as you leaned back. 

“Done. It’s done. I just need to wrap it and I can let you rest.”

He only groaned in response - you could see his adam's apple bob as he swallowed hard, head still leaned back on the porcelain. 

“Gracias,” he murmured when he felt the gauze begin to wrap around his skin, taping it off as gently as you could. 

You stood up off of his lap, but he caught your ankle before you could move towards the door.

“Don’t.” Even as weak as he was, there was authority to his tone that made you listen. 

“I just need to clean up the blood, get some rags from the kitchen.”

“Use the towels. Don’t want you out of my sight.”

You were so relieved to hear him speak a full sentence again that you didn’t argue. Instead you grabbed the white towel and ran it under the water, wiping away the blood stains on Javi’s skin gently, methodically. When you looked up, he was watching you, his eyelids still heavy.

“You this nice to all your patients?” 

“I try to be,” you smiled despite having to switch to a new rag almost immediately, the first one saturated red.

“Maybe I should get shot more often.”

“Not funny Peña.”

“Not joking, Y/N.”

“Shhh,” you instructed. “Nurse’s orders.”

He obeyed, though you weren’t sure it was entirely a choice. He looked exhausted as you continued cleaning him up, your breath coming easier with each bit of skin you revealed from under the blood. 

When you were done with his arm, you surveyed Javi again. His pulse seemed stronger, his breathing more even. The adrenaline was wearing off, and in turn the exhaustion from his escapade was catching up to him it seemed. You used the last clean rag to clean his face, wiping away the sweat. He leaned into your palm a bit, grateful.

“We need to get you to bed Jav. Can you stand?”

“I can try,” he huffed, looking a bit sheepish. You got yourself settled under his good arm and heaved with all your might, glad that he was able to help as much as he was. His injured left arm hung practically dead next to him - he wouldn’t be able to use it much for a few days, that much you knew.

You led him to the edge of the bed, ignoring the butterflies it put in your throat to bend down and untie his shoes, slide them off his feet with his socks. Next was the remaining scraps of his shirt. You expertly unfastened the buttons, pushing the fabric off his broad shoulders gently and tossing it on the floor. 

“Stand up,” you instructed. You couldn’t look at him as you reached for his belt, pulled his gun out of his waistband and checked the safety the way he’d taught you before placing it on the bedside table. You’re just helping him. Just like a patient. You’re just helping. You repeated it over and over and you coaxed the leather of his belt through the loops of his pants, trying to ignore the way it set your core on fire. You unbuttoned his slacks quickly, careful not to touch more than you needed as you pushed the zipper down. They fell just enough and you were grateful to see boxers beneath - it wasn’t lost on you that Javi wasn’t a stranger to going commando, but he usually refrained at work.  You pushed them down from his hips, letting him steady himself on your shoulders as he stepped out of them. 

“This is humiliating cariño,” he whispered as you stood back up. 

“I doubt you’re going to remember it in the morning,” you reassured him, but you hoped that he did. “Lay down, get some rest.”

“Stay in here. Need to know you’re safe.”

His words were already slurring as he followed your instructions.  You knew you could leave as soon as his eyes closed, get the bathroom clean, get him some water, but something about the sentiment pulled at you, and you couldn’t help it. You wanted to stay. 

“I’ll be right here Javi. I’m safe.” 

With his good arm he caught your hand, squeezing it weakly as if to reiterate it. 

“Stay.” 

You obliged him, climbing gently into your usual spot next to him, taking care not to jostle the mattress. Before you could overthink it, you placed a hand on the center of his chest, felt the rise and fall with each breath he took.  He was snoring after 15 rises, and you relaxed for the first time since he came in the door. 

Only then did you let yourself actually begin to process what had happened - picturing Javi with guns pointed at him by faceless men, your badge in their hands, his blood dripping behind him in the streets - you felt the tears begin to prickle. You let them fall for what felt like hours before you could finally understand that it was relief that caused them - relief and sadness and gratefulness and anger and… love. 

So in his peaceful sleep, you allowed yourself to touch him like you wanted to. You ran your fingers through his hair, dark strands soft against your skin. You even chanced a few traces along his face, down his nose, over his cheek and down his jaw, memorizing him. He stirred and you pulled back, not wanting to disturb his rest. 

He was peaceful for a few hours as you kept watch, and then things began to change. It started with his head - when he first turned towards you, you almost thought he was trying to cuddle. But he turned away just as quickly, muttering something in spanish. His movements grew faster, his breathing quickening as his arms started to tense up, wincing in pain as he strained his wound. You recognized it then. Nightmare.

“Javi, Javi hey, wake up, wake up,” you said, gently shaking his shoulder. You flicked the lamp on so you could see him better.

“No, no no don’t,” he groaned, and you watched as his good arm reached for the bedside table. 

As quickly as you could you climbed across him, knocking his gun out of reach. You weren’t sure if it was the weight of you on top of him or the crash of metal hitting the ground that startled him awake, but either one brought him up gasping and grabbing at you. 

“Javi! Javi it’s me, you’re okay, you’re okay,” you repeated, bracing on his chest. 

His eyes were wide as you came into focus, and to your surprise his hands immediately went to your face, cupping your cheeks. 

“Oh christ, you’re alive, oh gracias a Dios (thank god).”

And then he was kissing you. Desperate but somehow gentle, his lips were against yours, his neck strained up to reach you as you hovered above him, too shocked to move as he held you. When he pulled back and his head fell against the pillow, his eyes searched yours, darting back and forth as he brushed the hair from your face with gentle fingers. 

He moved his left arm too much chasing a strand, and the pain seemed to pull him back to reality, shock replacing the fear as he realized what he’d just done.

“I’m sorry mi amor, I had a dream you were dead… I should have asked, I-” 

You shook your head before he could finish stumbling through his words. 

“Ambushing each other is kinda our trademark, no?”

He gazed up at you for a moment, calculating his next words carefully. 

“If my memory serves me, you got two kisses in at La 40,” he hummed, hands moving slowly down your sides to settle on your hips. “So I think I’m owed at least one more.”

You let out a breath of relief when you realized his confidence was back and that whatever had plagued him in his sleep seemed to have passed. You dipped down to kiss him sweetly, letting your lips linger against his as he chased you just enough to keep you there for a moment longer before you sat back up. 

It gave you a sense of confidence, his warm hands on your hips as you straddled him, and even you were surprised at the next words you said. 

“And the nurse who took care of you? What’s she owed?” 

That earned a chuckle from him, and you melted down into him as he kissed your forehead. His bare chest was warm, skin heating yours through the thin material of your tank top, but his next words set you on fire.

“She can have whatever she wants.” 

You hummed, leaning down to kiss him earnestly, letting yourself have what you had been craving for weeks without even realizing. Javi tilted your head up with his good hand, lips finding your neck. His mustache was rough against you and you groaned at the feeling, settling your hips down over his, seeking friction anywhere you could find it. The rubber band had finally snapped between the two of you, and you couldn’t get enough. 

“Tell me when to stop,” he whispered, breath sending goosebumps all along your collarbone. Something about him giving you an out made everything ten times hotter.

“Please don’t,” you begged, pulling him back up to your lips. He groaned into you, grabbing at your hips to move you and hissing at the pain it caused. 

“Easy,” you cautioned.

“Not in my nature,” he retorted. You smiled, shifting your hips to press against him like you knew he wanted, resisting the urge to laugh at the way his head fell back against the pillows just barely. 

“Let me take care of you.” You ran your nails gently down his chest. 

“Not in my nature,” he repeated, but his breathing was already getting heavier.

“I thought it was whatever I wanted.”

It was Javi’s turn to smile, and you gasped as his hands slid into your shorts, down over your ass to squeeze softly, kneading the flesh and pulling you along his own hips. The rhythm was electric, and you didn’t feel like arguing anymore, too caught up in him to care. You tried over and over again to speed him up but he kept you steady, back and forth as he grew harder and harder below you.

He guided you through it, lips tracing a pattern along your jaw, up to your lips and back down to your throat, along your collarbone until you were practically clawing at him. 

“Need more,” you moaned into his mouth, hands in his hair.

“Then take it.”

You didn’t need telling twice. You reached between your bodies, pulling him out of his boxers easily. He was velvet soft in your hand and you couldn’t help yourself - you began to stroke him gently, achingly slow. 

But Javi wasn’t one to be out done. He sat up slowly, leaning against the headboard so he could free up his good arm. You helped him get your shirt off, and as soon as it was over your head his fingers dipped into your waistband, cupping your folds and making your hips buck into him.

“Sucia,” he breathed, sliding one finger inside, making your nails dig into his shoulders. He put up a good front, but you could see his pulse in his throat, and you knew your unfaltering hand was having just as much of an effect on him. 

You gave in first, pushing his hand away and scooting back up to straddle him. He caught on immediately, helping guide you up so you could sink down onto him. You went slowly, giving yourself time to savor each inch of stretch and sting and Javi.

“Fuck,” you groaned when you finally settled fully, letting your forehead rest on his shoulder. He was big, there was no denying it.

“You okay hermosa?” He murmured, holding you steady. You nodded, shifting just barely and groaning again. You had never felt so full before, even just breathing was enough movement that you could feel him shift inside you, making your eyes water. 

“I’m okay. I’m okay,” you reassured him, trying to find your words. 

“Takin’ me so good baby,” he hummed, kissing your jaw. You leaned back to give him more access and the shift was delicious. You followed it, lifting your hips up just enough and moving back down slowly.

It was Javi’s turn to moan then. His fingers dug into your hips and he grit his teeth, using every bit of restraint he had to not pound into you the way he wanted to. 

You moved again, bracing on his shoulders but careful to avoid his arm. Based on the way he was groaning, you weren’t sure he would care if you stitched him again - he might not even notice. 

“Need more cariño, whatever you can give me,” Javi said, screwing his eyes shut. You gave him what you could, lifting up and lowering down as quickly as you could. 

“So fucking tight.”

You couldn’t really hear him anymore - you could only feel. You set a pace, willing your muscles to relax as you began to rock above him, wiggling your hips back and forth. 

He thrust up once and it was game over. 

Your orgasm came out of nowhere, ricocheting from your core to your fingertips. You couldn’t hold yourself up anymore, and you collapsed forward, chest to chest with Javi as your body shook. 

He stilled until you did, and then he was back to moving, lifting his hips and pushing against your fluttering walls. You whimpered at the sensation, and he wrapped his good arm across your back, hooking around your waist. 

“Doin’ so good cariño, so good for me,” he groaned. “Give me one more.”

“I can’t,” you panted, still reeling.

“You can.”

Something about the demand in his tone had you pushing down to meet his hips. Your teeth sunk into the muscle of his shoulder as he chased his high, pulling another orgasm out of you that had you practically blacked out as he came with a resounding groan, burying his face in your hair.

“Holy fuck,” was all you could pull from your burning lungs as you both settled in the afterglow, Javi tracing patterns along your back. 

“Fuckin’ a,” Javi chuckled, kissing your head. “What a day we’ve had.”

“How’s your arm?” You hummed, leaning up just enough to check his gauze. You frowned at the fresh blood you could see.

“I’m fine. Had much worse, believe me.” 

“Guess sex is off limits till you heal,” you sighed, looking up at him through your lashes.

“No deal,” Javi argued, making both of you laugh. “I’m sorry I woke you up.”

“Don’t be. Besides, you can wake me up for that anytime,” you hummed, shimmying up to kiss him again. When your lips grew tired, he rolled you over, tucking you up to his chest and coaxing you to sleep. 

Your nights ended up with the two of you intertwined for the next month. Javi’s arm healed well, and he put it to good use every chance he got. He was busier at work, with new breaks happening in his case, which meant every evening you actually got to spend together was precious. 

And the evenings you weren’t together were spent wishing you were - at least, when you had a spare minute. But that night, you didn’t have many seconds to spare, much less minutes. 

It had been a long time since you’d been pulled off your typical unit at the hospital, but the emergency department was short staffed, and with multiple gun fights in the city they needed all hands on deck. The ensuing chaos put you in the ambulance bay, with a radio to your ear getting details of an incoming 9 year old gunshot wound case in the truck you could see pulling up. 

Right where they wanted you.

It happened quickly, and quietly. There was a child in the bed of the truck, covered in blood. You wouldn’t find out until afterwards that he worked for the cartel - simply a pawn to get you to climb into the bed and assess him. Your mind was racing, and though you’d never admit it, you were only half present with your patient. The other half of you was imagining Javi, desperately hoping that he wasn’t somewhere caught in the crossfire. 

It put you just enough off your game to not notice that the passenger had gotten out of the truck, snuck around the side. 

You didn’t know what he hit you with. Javi would find it later - a brick, stained with your blood, left in the street. He knocked you out, gave the child his payment and drove away with you in the bed, covered in a blanket. 

And so your nightmare began. 

You awoke in a foreign bedroom, sitting on the floor. Unsure of how much time had passed, unsure of where you were - all you knew was that your head was pounding, your hands were tied behind your back, and ankles tied together. You didn’t dare make a sound. There was a window covered in newspapers with a sunbeam shining through a gap, landing on your shoe and illuminating the blood left on them. Your stomach turned and you swallowed down the bile in your throat. 

All you could do was a quick self check - you were sore, your shoulders tight from where they were pinned back, your neck pinched from where you were leaned up against a metal bed frame. You could feel that your head was split somewhere, with dried blood caking your hair that you were desperate to itch. But otherwise, you seemed to be unharmed. So you started to plan. 

There was nothing in the room you could see that could be of use, and as you looked you heard them for the first time - voices, in the hall, that made your palms sweat and your heart race. You tried to picture their faces, but everything was blurry in your memory. The only face that seemed to come to mind was Javi’s. His sweet smile, right before he’d kissed you goodbye that morning from the driver’s seat and sent you into the hospital.

You’d give anything in that moment to go back to that first morning, to have him bracing the door and demanding that you stay home. 

“Focus. Fucking focus,” you whispered to yourself, squeezing your eyes shut. Javi had told you what to do if anything like this had ever happened. 

“You stay quiet,” he’d said. “Don’t try to lie your way out, don’t tell them anything, even if you think it’s what they want to hear. No matter what they do, you survive, and you stay quiet until I get to you.” 

So when the first man walked into the room, you set your jaw. You found a small black dot on the wall across from you and locked onto it. You let yourself disassociate, let the man’s words, his blows, his kicks, wash over you one at a time as if they were nothing. Deep down you knew he was angry, knew he was going to come back. But you stared at your speck, and willed yourself to be okay. 

Time passed, more men came. More blows. More time. Maybe even a day.

Your facade broke only once, when you heard a familiar name, a break in the murmur. 

“... Peña. Dinos dónde está perra, o estás muerta.” 

You looked up then, only for a moment, and then back to your speck, repeating the words in your head. 

Javi is coming. Javi is coming. Javi is coming.

You had no way of knowing just how close he was. The last 64 hours had been some of the most stressful of his life. He’d arrived at his usual spot outside of the hospital, and he’d given you fifteen minutes before he was headed through the front doors. He didn’t bother stopping at the front desk - the night that you’d gotten stuck in a patient’s room past shift change, they had sent him upstairs anyway. 

He didn’t start to panic until they told him you had changed units.

He found the brick in the ambulance bay as soon as he burst through the doors, and put the pieces together after that. His next stop was the store across the street to get their security camera footage. 

When he found the cameras disabled, he ripped a shelf to the ground on his way out and called his team. 

The next hours were spent surveying every piece of footage they could get their hands on until they finally, finally spotted a vehicle that came and left the hospital far too quickly. 

When Javi saw the bedsheet in the bed of the truck, his lunch remade its appearance in the back of his throat. 

He didn’t let himself believe you were dead, though he could tell his team thought otherwise. They knew better than to even suggest it though. The office had never been busier, between tracking the red truck across the neighborhoods to running possible mugs to figure out who could have possibly taken you. Javi couldn’t stand to stay still, so he spent every hour on the streets, running surveillance and tracking down every possible crumb that his men fed him. He had everyone involved, every person who owed him a favor, every single individual he knew in Colombia that he thought may help.

 The crack came when one of Javi’s reporter connections sent him a lead, a cartel member who fit the description of what he was looking for. The entire team took to the streets, and by an act of luck, or possibly a higher power Javi would be thanking for the rest of his life, he found the truck, tucked into an alleyway on the south side of the city.

Inside the apartment, your speck was getting harder to see. 

You weren’t exactly sure why. It seemed like it was getting harder to stay awake, but you fought your weary eyes. Awake meant alive, no matter how painful. 

There were new noises in the hall. They were hard to hear over the wheeze of your breathing, but the man in the room with you muttered something before he left. You didn’t dare look away from the speck, afraid of what you might find. But you let your ears wander. 

One gunshot sounded, and then it was all yelling and commotion, too much for your exhausted brain to sort through. You leaned closer to the door, hoping to hear something recognizable. One inch too far and suddenly you were falling to the side, unable to catch yourself. Your face hit the carpet, hard, startling you out of your daze. You desperately searched the wall for your speck, but it had disappeared, invisible from your new angle. 

“No, please,” you cried, your lifeline suddenly gone. 

Another gunshot rang out from downstairs and you screwed your eyes shut, curling your knees up to your chest, accepting what was to come. You hoped in that moment that anyone but Javi would find your body, and that he would know that you tried. 

More commotion followed, and you curled up tighter when you heard the door burst open. 

“Mi amor. Cristo.” 

The hands that found you were as gentle as a feather, but you didn’t dare to open your eyes. The now familiar sound of a knife clicking open sounded out through the room and you whimpered, waiting. But instead, a bit of friction on your wrists and then they were free, then your ankles. 

“Open your eyes Y/N. Look at me.” 

Reluctantly, you opened your eyes, and you were met with pools of deep brown - you’d know them anywhere, and the relief was almost your undoing.

“I’m here. You’re safe, you’re alive. I’m here.” 

You nodded once, unable to move more than that. His lips on your forehead were a welcome comfort before he scooped you up from the floor. 

“Close your eyes,” he told you, and you listened, burying your face in his neck and letting him carry you out to the car. 

There were others outside. You could hear them, but you kept your face hidden. Javi spoke to them briefly, instructed them on what to do and selected one of them to drive. Almost immediately he was climbing into the passenger seat of a larger car with you in his lap, and you were on your way. 

The tears were falling by the first street you turned down, burning your raw cheeks. Javi felt them, hot and wet on the collar of his shirt.

“Shh, shhh shh amor. I’ve got you.”

He was scared to hold you too tight, to agitate the injuries he could see. But that didn’t stop you from clinging to him with everything you had in you. You clawed at his shirt, dragging yourself as close as you could to him, breathing him in, trying to make yourself believe that you were really truly there with him. Safe. Alive. 

You lifted an arm up, ignoring the way it pulled at your sore muscles, wrapping your fingers in his hair as you had so many mornings. 

“Javi,” you whispered. 

“I’m here mi amor.” He kissed your forehead again, blinking back his own tears at the sound of your voice. 

“I love you.” It came out too quiet, but you knew he heard it from the way he choked out a small sob. 

“I love you,” he replied. 

You sighed, wincing as you let your muscles relax. 

“What? What is it?” Javi’s hands ghosted over you, too scared to touch and make it worse.

“It hurts.”

“I know, baby. We’re going to the hospital, we’re going to make it better. It’s okay. It’s going to be okay.” 

“Okay.” You clung to his words with everything you had left and let your eyes close, the exhaustion finally taking over, safe in loving arms.

[mountttmase]

A Mountain To Climb: The Sequel

Chapter Twelve

Note - the final chapter 🥺 thank you to everyone who’s sent me feedback and interacted with me for this series. I had a lot of fun writing it and I’m hoping we go out with a bang 😏 love you guys 🩷

Pairing - Mason Mount × Reader

Word count - 10.5k

Warnings - series will contain fluff, smut and angst

Masterlist

When Mason asked where you’d like to go on a long weekend, the last last place he was expecting you to say was Cornwall.

To say he was confused was an understatement and you could tell by the way he was looking at you that he wasn’t sure what to say but you held your ground. He’d asked you where and that’s what you wanted.

‘But we could literally go anywhere, like in the world’

‘I know’

‘And you want to go to Cornwall?’

‘Yes please’ you smiled sweetly but he still looked bewildered buy your choice. ‘I know it’s a little unconventional but I spent a lot of summers there growing up and it’s a special place to me. I just thought it might be nice to share that part of my life with you but if you’re happy spending thousands on a private jet to the middle of nowhere then that’s fine too’

His face immediately softened when you told him, knowing he loved it when you opened up about yourself. Even after all this time there was still so much you were learning about each other and with a quick kiss to your nose he pulled out his phone.

‘If my baby wants to go to Cornwall then that’s where we’re going. But you best believe I’m finding the best house there’ he told you, causing you to laugh as he scrolled through his phone intently.

You let him know the general area you’d be happy to go but you let him take it from there. He was insistent on it being a surprise so you let him take control of it, happy to go along white whatever he wanted as you trusted his judgement.

Considering you’d been official for over two years, the pair of you hadn’t really been away for more than a night or so just the two of you yet. Mason loved being around his family and friends every chance he got and since you spent most days just the pair of you, you were always happy to branch out with everyone else and just because you were with other people didn’t mean skipped out on alone time as Mason always made the effort to plan things for just you two.

Mason seemed insistent on it being your first solo trip this time, along with Parker and he made sure he asked you lots of questions about what you did on your holidays when you were young. Whilst you were excited about it, you were growing suspicious about everything. He told you it was just because it was well overdue that you had some time together but when his family came to see you a few days before you were due to go, you were left even more confused but their incessant teasing.

‘You sure you’ve packed everything, Mase?’ Jaz smiled cheekily but you saw him blush as he rolled his eyes. ‘Don’t want to forget anything do we’

‘No make sure you’ve double checked it all’ Debbie chimed in but the playful tone to her voice unnerved you.

‘Yeah yeah, just drop it’ he told them quietly. You could tell he was playing but he sounded a little stressy for some reason. So you didn’t bring it up again even though you wanted to be in on the joke with them.

Mason had arranged for you to take the train like you did growing up, telling you he didn’t fancy the long drive down however you’d never been in first class before and you couldn’t deny you felt a little smug as you took your seats. He let you have the window seat but used this to his advantage so he could lean on you to look outside, laughing at his excited face when he caught sight of the sea. Parker was also very well behaved as he mostly just slept in between your legs.

The car he’d hired for the few days you were here felt like it would be too big for the tiny Cornish streets but as he drove you realised you wouldn’t be staying in a town like you normally would.

You were driving down a tiny dirt track for about five minutes with no end in sight but just as you were about to make a joke about this being another long winded way of kidnapping you he mad a turn to the right and you were now in front of one of the most beautiful houses you’d ever seen. The grand sandstone building had huge windows and a beautiful view of the sea and you felt bewildered by the sight of it.

‘Mason this is…’

‘Not bad huh?’ He winked, jumping out of the car so he could run around to your side and help you out. You arms went around his neck immediately, pulling him in for a quick kiss and his sparkly eyes melted you as you pulled away.

‘Not bad? I didn’t know there were places like this here’

‘Neither did I’ he laughed, letting Parker out before grabbing your hands so he could lead you to the door and locate the key. ‘How about we have a little look round, I’ll get the bags in and then we go grab some food?’ He suggested and you agreed as he lead you through the front door.

If you thought the outside was beautiful then the inside needed and new word invented for it. A beautiful living room with a huge glass window that took up the whole wall meaning you could look out to sea and a generous kitchen with everything you could ever need. You were looking around in awe but everything kicked up a notch when he took you outside and your eyes fell on the cute sofas and fire pit just like you had in Arnham but the addition of a hot tub made you squeal in delight.

‘Mason this is amazing, thank you’ you laughed, throwing your arms around him as you squeezed each other tightly.

After one more quick look around you hauled your bags inside, unpacking your clothes before getting back into the car so you could pop to the big Tesco for food. Thankfully you managed to remain anonymous and make it there and back without any issues so once you’d unpacked the food you let him know you were going to take a quick shower and freshen up.

When you came back downstairs you found Mason sat at the window seat, back resting against the wall at he looked out to sea. He seemed completely in his own world and you almost felt bad going over to disturb him but the loving look on his face as he caught your eyes made it worthwhile. His hands reaching forward to silently ask you to sit with him so you crawled in between his legs as laid your body against his. Both of your arms around each other as he gently left little kisses along your hairline.

‘What you doing here?’ You asked softly, feeling him chuckle under you but when you looked up at him he didn’t want to meet your eyes.

‘Just watching the boats’ he told you, your eyes following his line of vision to see the cargo ships in the distance slowly making their way across the horizon before looking back up at him.

Even from this angle he was the most beautiful man you’d ever seen and you couldn’t help but reach up to place an gentle kiss on his lips. He kissed you back immediately, moving to cup your jaw so he could hold you in place but you both didn’t take anything further. Both content with lazily brushing your lips together as you held each other for comfort.

These quiet moments together were your favourite, just being with him settled your mind more than anything else and the fact you knew you could both hide out for a little while made you even happier.

When he eventually pulled away, he kept looking at you, his eyes warm and soft as they flickered over your face and you felt a small shiver run through you just from his loving look.

‘I’ve been thinking about tonight’ he told you quietly, thumb stroking your cheek as you nodded up to him. ‘How about I make us some dinner and then we take a drive into town? We can take a walk and get some ice cream maybe and I’m pretty sure there’s an arcade on the pier and I don’t know about you but I’m feeling like a winner’

‘Sounds perfect’ you laughed, pecking his lips one more time before settling back into his body. You could feel him pulling you further into him as he nuzzled into your hair before looking back out to sea.

You made dinner together just like you used to, before getting changed to go out, deciding to leave parker at the house as he was tired from all the traveling and had spent most of his afternoon laid up in his new doggy bed. It was still sunny but the temperature had dropped so you made sure to wrap up before he drove you into the town so you could have a look around.

‘What ice cream do you want baby?’ He asked, pulling you into the quiet shop, watching his face light up as his eyes scanned all the flavours.

‘You pick first, I’m still looking’ you told him, noticing how he picked the most expensive cone with extra chocolate around the side and a flake and once the girl behind the counter handed it over to him it was almost the size of his head. ‘Really, Mase?’ You laughed as he smiled at you cheekily.

‘What? I’m never allowed this normally, thought I’d go all out’

‘Go and sit down’ you laughed, pointing to the stool by the window so he would be out of the way for you to pick yours. You decided to go for the same fancy cone as him but you only got one scoop as you were still full up from dinner and once you’d paid you met him by the door.

‘Hold this and I’ll pay’ he told you, trying to pass his half demolished ice cream to you but you shook your head before trying to lace your fingers through his to lead him outside.

‘I’ve paid, let’s go’

‘Why did you do that?’

‘Cause you paid for this whole thing, I think it’s only fair i buy you an ice cream at least’

‘Well if I’d of known you were paying I would of got a smaller one’ he laughed, squeezing your hand as you made you way down the high street and down to the beach. There were still a few people around but for the most part it was quiet meaning you could take a slow walk along the beach without being disturbed.

‘It’s pretty here’

‘See I have good taste’ you winked. ‘Are you glad you listened to me?’

‘I always listen to you’ he laughed, pulling you in front of him so he could hold you as you walked before stopping to look out onto the horizon so you could watch the sun slip behind the sea.

You felt a peace for the first time in a little while, his cheek resting on top of your head and arms around your waist making you feel warm and safe and judging by the way you could feel him relaxing into you, you could tell Mason felt the same.

Not too long after he turned you both so you could face each other, brushing some loose hair behind your ears before cupping your jaw so he could place feather light kisses over your nose and across your cheeks.

‘I love you so much’ he whispered,

‘I love you too’ you told him. Breath caught in your throat at how romantic this all seemed and the way he was looking down at you made your heart race in your chest.

He looked like he was going to say something else but he just gave his head a small shake before kissing your forehead.

‘You still fancy going on the pier?’

‘Yeah, okay. I quite like the idea of beating you at something’ you smiled, pulling him along as he laughed behind you. He teased you the whole way along the pier about how he was gonna make you eat your words and as soon as you walked in he was straight over to the basketball hoop.

‘But I’m no good at this’ you laughed ‘I like the ones where you put the 2p’s in until they all fall out’ you explained with a huff but he wasn’t having it, handing you a ball and setting your hoop up so you could play against each other. You were even worse than you thought you’d be and the excited shrills coming from Mason were really putting you off.

‘New high score baby’ he teased, pinching your side and you were starting to realise you were in for a long evening.

You knew Mason was competitive but the fact that it extended to meaningless games like this made you giggle until you we’re starting to get annoyed about all the games he was winning.

‘Fancy a game of air hockey?’ He asked, walking over to the now free table and even though you didn’t feel like being humiliated again you followed him over and took up your position. You’d never played before but it seemed simple enough and as soon as the puck was flying in your direction you were quick to hit it back straight into Masons goal.

You both stood in shock, eyes wide as you looked at each other and whilst you wanted to laugh you could see his brows were furrowed a little.

‘Beginners luck’ he huffed, retrieving the puck and placing it back onto the table before getting back into position. You had a pretty good rhythm going for a few minutes until once again you blasted your puck into his goal. ‘What the fuck’ he moaned, louder than he intended and you cheekily shushed him as there were kids around.

‘Mason, language’

‘Yeah, whatever. Are you ready?’ He asked, chucking the puck down again and not even waiting for you but you were too quick and managed to hit the puck right back to him.

His face was a picture, concentration and anger all over his features but you were on a high. Happy you were finally good at something and you knew you shouldn’t of but you felt the need to rub it in a little.

‘Come on Mase, I thought you were good at attacking and defending? You’ve been shocking at both so far’

‘I don’t normally play with my arms, smart arse’ he growled, hitting the puck as hard as he could but it just ended up bouncing off both sides and into his own goal. ‘This is bullshit, you must be cheating’ he fumed, slamming the puck back down and for a second you thought about easing up on him a little bit but he’d rubbed your face in it all night and you figured he could use a taste of his own medicine. You ended up winning 5-0 in the end and he was more furious than you’d ever seen him.

‘Oh come on Mase, you lost one game it’s not the end of the world’ you tried reassure him, walking round to place your hand on his arm but he shrugged you off, mumbling something under his breath as he walked the other way. ‘Mase?’ you pouted, following him outside but he didn’t stop for you.

‘Surprised you can hear me over that massive ego’ he murmured, making his way over to the railing so he could look out to sea and even though you knew he was just being silly and a little but hurt you couldn’t deny his words stung a little bit. You didn’t think you’d been overly obnoxious, not half as bad as he’d been but by the way he was reacting to you, you wondered if you’d gone too far.

‘Mase? Please don’t tell me you’re this upset about a game of air hockey’ you asked, brushing up besides him as he let out a deep breath he’d been holding.

‘I don’t like loosing’

‘I know but it doesn’t mean anything’ you reasoned, bumping your shoulder into his before forcing you way into his arms so you could hold his face in between yours hands. He was still pouting a little bit so you tried to kiss it away, feeling a sense of accomplishment come over you as he smiled gently. ‘Why don’t we have another game?’

‘Nah, let just play something else’ he told you, shaking his head and looking around to see what different things they had outside before his eyes fell on a game where you had to throw balls at some clowns to knock them down and you stood and cheered him on as he threw the balls as hard as he could.

‘What shall we do with all our tickets?’ You asked holding them all in your arms but you knew it wouldn’t be enough for anything worth having as you’d taken a look at the prizes and they were worth way more than you had. ‘Shall we give them away?’

‘Yeah, let me find someone’ he smiled, eyes scanning the arcade until he saw a little boy in an England shirt. You watched him carefully approach, tapping him on the shoulder and your heart melted as the little boy realised who it was. A look of shock and disbelief taking over his face as Mason knelt down to his level. ‘Hello mate, I’ve got a load of tickets but I don’t have time to change them up. Would you like them?’ He asked and the little boy nodded his head before throwing him self at Mason for a cuddle.

‘Thank you’ he murmured adorably, pulling back so Mason could hand the tickets over and you could tell the little boy was overwhelmed as his bottom lip started to tremble.

‘You alright, mate?’ Mason asked softly before the boy was hugging Mason again. You didn’t often get to see Mason interacting with fans like this but Every time it made your heart soar. He was so loving and soft and you just wanted to kiss him all over his perfect face.

It didn’t take long for the boys dad to come over, wondering why a random man was hugging his kid but as soon he clocked it was Mason they were all laughing. You offered to take a picture of the three of them as a parting gift and as you strolled towards the exit you felt him bump your arm and nod over to the air hockey table.

‘One more game? Winner takes all?’ He laughed, trying to make it look as though he was kidding but you could see the seriousness in his eyes so you walked him over and you yourselves set up.

He was really really trying to beat you, practically leaning halfway across the table as his tongue fell from his mouth in concentration. You were giving as good as you got though, knowing he wanted to win but you weren’t about to let him off easy and after a few intense minutes you smashed the puck directly into his goal.

‘Yesssss!’ You cried, jumping in the air to the side of the table so you could impersonate one of his goal celebrations by pretending to throw a fire ball at him but he just stood looking at you with a stoney expression whilst he bit the inside of his cheek. ‘Oh come on Mase, join in’

‘No’

‘So you’ll do it with Chilly but not with me?’

‘Get back over there or I’ll start without you’ he grumbled as you circled him, laughing your head off at how you kept winning but you were soon back in your place and ready to go again. He slammed the puck down once more and you could see the determination in his eyes but you weren’t quite ready for the force he hit the puck with or the pain that seared through your hand when it hit you at an awkward angle.

You jumped back, yelping in pain as you cradled your aching hand before looking towards Mason. He was staring back at you with wide eyes and a guilty expression.

‘Shit, y/n. I’m so fucking sorry, are you okay?’ He panicked, rushing over to take a look but you held your hand to your chest. ‘Baby? Please I’m so sorry you know I didn’t do it on purpose. Please let me see’

‘It’s fine’ you sighed, letting him take your hand so he could inspect it but there wasn’t much to see in the dark. That didn’t stop his from bringing your hand to his lips so he could pepper it with small kisses and even though you were a little mad with him you couldn’t help but smile.

‘I think I need to accept that air hockey isn’t my game’ he told you with a sigh before cupping your jaw so he could press a delicate kiss to your lips. ‘Im so sorry baby, I feel awful’ he whispered.

‘You should’ you laughed, pulling away so you could grab his hand and link your fingers together. ‘I think we should end the game there’

‘I think so too’ he said shyly, and upset frown on his face as he was clearly annoyed with himself for lashing out like he had but he let you pull him outside to the exit, walking passed the claw machines and you were almost at the end when he pulled you over to stand in front of one.

‘Look baby, they’ve got the little seagulls with chips in their mouths’ he told you excitedly, your mind automatically going back a few weeks to when you’d both gone to visit Portsmouth. Taking Summer and Mila for a walk on the beach in the afternoon and it was all going well until Mason was attacked by the same birds for his chips. The memory of him squealing and shouting in fear was still fresh in your mind and you couldn’t help but laugh at the thought of it. ‘Let me win you one to say sorry’

‘It’s fine, Mase’ you told him ‘no one ever wins these things’ you tried to explain but he just shook his head and grabbed a load of coins from his pocket.

‘Well I’m not stopping till I get one. I don’t care how much it costs’ he mumbled, already pressing the button to make the claw go down to grab one. It was halfway up before it fell out and you let him have a few more goes until he offered you a try. It was all in vein though, you not having any more luck than mason and all you seemed to be doing was flipping them over at this point so you told him you were done but he clearly wasn’t.

You’d been on the pier for a while now, your legs and body tired not just from tonight but from the whole day so you went and took a seat on a bench near by, facing away from Mason and out to sea. You couldn’t exactly see it cause it was so dark but you could hear the waves and the sound made you feel at peace.

It was only a few minutes later when you felt someone brush up besides you and you knew it was Mason instantly. He stopped just in front of you with his hands behind his back before kneeling so you were at the same hight.

‘Y/n’ he smiled, trying to be serious but you could see the smile gently playing on his lips.

‘Mason’ you replied, leaning forward just a touch, fluorescent lights of the games dancing over his face and making him look even more beautiful to the point you wanted to close the gap and kiss him but you knew he had more to say.

‘Would you please accept this seagull as a token of my apology’ he told you seriously, revealing the toy from behind his back with a smile, causing you to laugh as you reached for it.

‘I accept your apology Mason’ you told him softly, reaching over to cup his jaw and leave a soft kiss on his lips. He hummed appreciatively into your mouth instantly, kissing you back a little bit harder but you pulled back after a few moments. Remembering where you were and who you were with. ‘Shall we head back?’

‘Sounds perfect’

The next day Mason had reserved for a beach day and lucky enough for the pair of you the weather seemed to be playing along. You woke up to bright sunshine but an empty bed so after you’d pulled on one of Masons shirts you plodded downstairs to see if you could find him.

He was stood in the kitchen, packing what appeared to be a picnic basket in nothing but a pair of shorts and his face softened as soon as his eyes met yours.

‘Good morning sleeping beauty’ he mumbled, pressing a kiss to your forehead before another gentle one to your lips.

‘What time is it?’ You asked, wrapping your arms around him as he carried on packing the basket, feeling his body vibrate as he chuckled underneath you.

‘10:15’

‘That’s not that late’

‘It is, you’ve only got an hour and 45 minutes left of the morning. I’ve done loads while you’ve been asleep’

‘Oh yeah? Like what?’

‘Well I went for a run with Parker, came back and had a shower and went out again to a little bakery I saw in the village. Got us some lunch for the beach in there and a little bit of breakfast’ he smiled, nodding towards plate of pastries that were sat just to the right of him and you felt your tummy rumble immediately.

‘Thank you Masey’ you murmured softly before kissing his back and taking a step over to pick up your favourite.

‘You’re welcome. When you’re ready we’ll get everything together and head down yeah?’ He smiled, gesturing down to the sandy beach that you could see from your giant window in your living room and you nodded quickly before jumping up to run back upstairs and get changed.

The walk down to the beach didn’t take long but Mason seemed insistent on bringing half your luggage with him but by the time he’d set everything up you were happy he had. The little chair he’d carried down was comfier than you thought it would be and once you were ready to get settled you striped yourself down into your bikini you watched Masons jaw drop.

‘Holy mother of god’ he he said lowly, his eyes eating you up as he took in your figure. You didn’t think it was anything too exciting, a simple black bikini top and matching high waisted bottoms but you knew it looked good and the fact that the bottom was more of a thong than anything else was a bit risky but it was worth it to see the look in his eye. ‘If there wasn’t other people around I would be on you in a second you look unreal’

‘You like?’ You teased, giving him a quick twirl before sitting down, and the way he parted your legs so he could slip his body in between let you know he did. Even after all this time together he still looked at you like it was the first time and you hummed into his mouth as he pressed a heavy kiss on your lips.

‘I love. You’re such a tease I swear’ he whispered, his fingers dancing along the waistband of your bottoms before trailing them down the tops of your thighs. ‘You wait till later I’m gonna make you feel so good’ his breathed, his lips just touching yours and after a quick kiss he was jumping up so he could whip his top off.

If the way you felt about him in this moment was the same way he felt about you then you got why he was looking at you the way he was. You saw Masons body often but you never got tired of the sight. His soft hips were a contrast to the hardness of his abs but he was perfect to you in every single way and you had to restrain yourself from reaching for him so you could kiss all over his tummy.

You both quickly got to work sun creaming each other up, Mason paying extra attention to your bum, telling you the only burn you should ever feel there should be from his hand print but the sexy and assertive Mason was soon out the window as he popped on his mask and snorkel so he could go for a swim.

‘You look ridiculous’ you laughed, settling down into your chair as he pouted at you playfully.

‘Yeah well I’ll remember you said that when I see some cool fish and you wanna have a look’ he pouted, sounding like he had a cold as his nose was sucked into the mask and you sat watching him confused as he started rummaging through a bag he’d bought down with him. You couldn’t contain your laughter as he produced a pair of flippers and you wondered where the hell he’d been hiding them.

‘You can’t be serious’ you giggled, almost crying with laughter as he struggled to get them on but he was soon up, taking massive floppy steps towards the sea and flipping you off with a chuckle as you laughed to the point of tears.

‘Come on Parker, daddy will take you for a swim’

‘You make sure you look after him’ you shouted but you knew Parker was in safe hands with Mason.

Once he was at the shore and in deep enough, he flopped in, taking a few strokes out so he was a bit deeper before floating face down. It was fun watching him for a little bit, just floating as he looked around and tried to make sure Parker didn’t swim too far away but you could feel your eyes getting heavy and since he was occupied you adjusted your hat to make sure the sun wasn’t beating down on your face too hard before relaxing so you could take a little nap. You could just feel yourself drifting off when splashes of cold water woke you up with a fright.

There stood Mason, fresh from the sea and shaking his hair at you as Parker did the same, and you screeched as you flew up from the chair.

‘Mason what the fuck’ you moaned, rushing towards him but he somehow managed to grab you and manoeuvre you so you were flung over his shoulder, rushing down back towards the sea and you were sure the sounds of your laughter could be heard from miles away. ‘Please don’t throw me in’ you managed to get out as he started wading in but when the water came to just passed his knees he moved you so your legs were around his waist as he he held you by your bum. His eyes were sparking with joy and even though he seemed to have all the power over you and could literally drop you in the freezing water at any second, you couldn’t help but lean over and kiss him.

‘I wouldn’t do that to you baby, I’ve got you I promise’ he whispered against your lips softly and you smiled at how adorable he was being with you now.

The water wasn’t as cold as you thought it was going to be but it was still a shock. He walked in slowly though and before you knew it the water was up to your chest, legs still around him as he held you to his body as Parker watched you closely from the shore, not wanting to get wet again by the looks of things and you didn’t blame him.

‘Are you having a nice time?’ He asked quietly, kissing your nose gently before his lips moved to your cheeks and then across your jaw.

‘Yeah, I’m glad we can have some time just the two of us’ you smiled, relaxing at the feel of his lips. ‘Well three of us I suppose’ you laughed, your thumbs brushing along the imprint the mask had left on his cheeks before kissing along the marks and watching his cheeks flush. He was so adorable and you loved the way he still reacted to your touch but it was the reaction of having you wrapped around him that had you feeling something pressing against you that made you eye him curiously.

‘I’ve literally got your bare bum in my hands, what do you expect?’ he laughed cheekily causing you to hide your face in his neck as his chest rumbled underneath you.

You were both quiet for a moment, just holding each other as you relished in the peace. Watching the sparse clouds roll through the sky and the sound of the waves relaxed you more that anything and you knew then and there that there was no where else you’d rather be, or would ever want to be again, than in the arms of the man who you loved more than you ever thought you could.

You pulled away so you could look at him, a soft look in his warm eyes and your heart thudded at the way he was staring at you. You could feel the love pouring from him and it only took you a second to lean forward so you could press you lips to his.

It was a slow lazy kiss, one that warmed your belly and made your skin tingle more than the sun ever could but you were both smiling too much to get any further into it. In the end just resting your foreheads against each others so he could rub his nose against yours every so often.

Mason carefully walked you out of the sea and placed you on the sand at the shore right by Parker so you could walk back to your stuff hand in hand but rather than sit in your chair you laid down with him as Parker got comfy by your legs. Mason on his front with his head on your shoulder and arm slung over your waist as you ran your fingers through his hair softly until you feel his breathing change and you knew he was asleep.

He wasn’t out for long, waking up to complain he was hungry so he dished out all the food he’d bought that morning and you sat in between his legs with your back to his chest so you could still be close.

It was early evening when you headed back up to the house. Mason had let you use his mask and snorkel but you passed up the opportunity of wearing his flippers and the only thing you could see was seaweed as he helped you move around. You didn’t get the appeal though so you went back to sit so you could read your book and he could take another nap before taking Parker on a big walk. Your plan for the evening was to cook again before taking some drinks and snacks out to the fire pit in the garden and make use of the hot tub but you felt sandy and gross as soon as you stepped inside and Mason could tell instantly.

‘You fancy a bath? That one’s massive upstairs and I really wanna try it’ he smiled, kissing your nose aster you nodded. ‘I’ll go run it for us yeah?’

‘Okay, I’ll just pop this stuff in the fridge and I’ll be up’ you smiled and with one final kiss he vanished.

The sea air must of got to Parker and you watched him trot right over to his bed before getting settled and you dished him out some food and water before scratching behind his ears in the way he loved. He was out soon after and with a quick kiss to his head you made your way to Mason.

You didn’t think you’d been that long but by the time you made it to the bathroom he was already in the bath, head back against the edge as he laid there peacefully and no matter how quiet you’d wanted to be, he felt you move besides him and his eyes were on yours.

‘Come on slow coach, I’ve got it the perfect temperature’ he laughed, watching you undress with hungry eyes before helping you in to sit in front of him. Your back to his chest as you leant your head on his shoulder and he wrapped his arms around your middle.

‘This bath is massive’ you laughed, the water just below your neck. ‘It’s like double the size of ours’

‘Is this you telling me you want one like this at home’

‘I wouldn’t say no’

‘I mean if it means we get to take more baths together then I’m all for it’ he told you cheekily, his hands trailing down your body so he could grip your thighs with his fingers, massaging the inner parts of them.

You let out a soft sigh, relaxing back into him even further as you enjoyed the way his fingers were dancing over your skin but you knew this was only ending one way. Your suspicions were confirmed when his hand hooked under your right thigh so he could lift your leg and place it over the edge of the bath so he could access you better. His left hand reaching for your chest and you bit your lip at the contact.

‘Just relax for me, baby. Let me take care of you’ he whispered into your ear and all you could do was nod whilst you tried to do what he said.

You gasped when you finally felt his fingers trace along your folds. You knew he was being extra gentle with you which you loved and given with how relaxed you were, you were ready to let him do what he wanted so when he finally brushed over where you needed him most you couldn’t help but moan loudly.

‘That’s it’s baby. You sound so pretty like that’ he murmured, gently rubbing you in slow circles as he palmed your boob with his free hand. ‘That feel good?’

‘Mmhmm’ you managed to get out, cursing under your breath straight after as he way playing with you just how you liked it and even though he’d only just started you could feel the start of your high bubbling away.

‘Look at me’ he whispered and you managed to turn your head slightly to look into his eyes. ‘Such a good girl for me, aren’t you?’ He asked, lowering his fingers down to your entrance and you gasped as he teased a finger in.

‘Mase’ you whimpered, holding onto the edge of the bath for some stability as he added another. Slowly pumping them in and out of you as you clenched around him and you could of sworn you were seeing stars. He knew you like the back of his hand, knew exactly where to touch you and how to drive you wild and if he really wanted to he could make you reach your high in no time at all but you knew he was dragging everything out as he delicately pulsed his fingers inside of you.

‘You’re so beautiful baby’ He spoke against your neck before gently sucking on the skin at the base of it. You were so turned on by his words and his fingers working away inside of you that you couldn’t help but grind down onto him a little bit but the hand on your chest soon moved down to your hip so he could hold you in place. ‘Nuh uh. This is about you’

‘But Mase-‘

‘I know, but you need to cum first yeah?’ He told you softly, his thumb now back on your clit to help you and the moan that left your lips would of embarrassed you if you hadn’t been too caught up on how he was making you feel. ‘I can feel how close you are, gorgeous. Come on, let it out for me’

Mason knew his words got you off just as much as his actions did so all so his encouragements were just getting you to the edge faster and soon enough you felt the coil snap. Profanities falling from your lips and he rode you through it and the gentle coaxing from him made it even better until you were spent and he slowly removed his fingers from you.

‘Shall we get in the shower? Wash everything off?’ You suggested, a cheeky glimmer in your eyes that he caught onto immediately and after a quick kiss he was helping you out so he could pull you into the shower.

You grabbed his shower gel quickly, soaping your hands up so you could rub it over him under the guise that you were simply helping him wash but it was really an excuse so that you could touch him. Working your way around to his back so you could lean your chest against him and as soon as he placed his hands on the wall in front of him to help him balance, you let your hands trail down to his length so you could start to stroke over him.

That first moan felt like heaven, made your knees weak and your head fuzzy but you knew what you had to do.

You wanted to hear him. Hear the way you were driving him crazy. You wanted to feel his body tense as you pulled his high from him. You wanted to see that pretty pink pout on his lips as he finally came undone, confident in the knowledge that it was you that had caused it. You had made him feel that good.

‘Y/n, p-please’ he breathed, clearly wanting you to speed your movements up a little bit but you were going slow on purpose.

You ignored his pleas, kissing over his back as your other hand softly roamed his abs and you revelled in the way they fluttered under your touch. Letting the warm water trickle over your bodies and wash the soap away as you slowly pleasured him. The moans pouring from his throat were sinful and the rush of adrenaline you seemed to be getting from this made you feel better than you thought it would.

You didn’t want him to cum like this though, wanted to see him. Feel him. Taste him.

Not wanting to waste any time as you knew he was on the edge, you let go and spun him around. Pressing his back up against the tiles and dropping a quick kiss to his lips before you started kissing down his body, paying extra attention to your favourite mole before getting on your knees and down to business. You could tell he was aching for some relief so you didn’t mess around or try and tease him, taking him in your mouth straight away and from the way he let out a shuddery breath you knew he was ready for you.

You were determined to make him feel the best he ever had so you let your fingers trail over his thighs before you grabbed his wrists so you could move them into your hair. He caught on straight away, pulling it up and away out of your face gently as you flashed your eyes up to look at him. He was looking straight back, eyes dark and lips parted as he let out shallow breaths and the look of pleasure on his face gave you a push to keep going.

‘Fuck, y/n. You look so fucking good baby’ he whimpered, letting you take control and do what you wanted to him.

You knew what he liked though, able to reduce him to a grunting mess in no time and without warning you felt him try to still your movements like usual when he was just about to let go but you fought him, continuing to bob up and down on him as you swallowed him down until he couldn’t take it anymore and pulled you off with a pop.

He didn’t say a word, simply hoisted you up and pulled you into his arms so he could hold you. The pair of content in each other's arms as the warm water washed away your sins. Only pulling back to give each other a soft kiss as you laughed at each other shyly.

‘Shall we get out? We’ll start looking like raisins soon’ he joked but you let him pull you out and wrap you in a towel before leading you back into your room and popping you down on the end of the bed whilst he found the pair of you some clothes to change into.

‘You okay there my love?’ He asked, drooping a kiss on your forehead as you let out a yawn when he placed one of his shirts and your shorts in your lap.

‘Just a little sleepy that’s all’ you smiled up at him, your head resting in his hand that he was using to support the side of your head and you smiled at each other softly.

‘Why don’t you have a nap then? I’ll go make dinner and check on Parker. I’ll come and get you when it’s done’

‘No Mase it’s fine’

‘Well I’m ordering you to take a nap missy’ he smiled, lightly pulling you up so he could help you get changed and once you were he pushed you down onto the bed before dropping a kiss on your cheek. ‘I’ll come wake you up soon okay?’

‘Okay’ you chuckled, snuggling down to hopefully get some rest. It had been a long day and even though you hadn’t done much you still felt exhausted. Hoping a quick Power Nap would set you up for the rest of the evening.

You were woken up by a strange tussling sound, your eyes opening ever so slightly so you could find the source of the noise and your eyes were on Mason immediately. His back was facing you as he played around with whatever was In his hands and you almost shut your eyes again until you saw what he was holding when he turned slightly.

A little black box.

A little black ring box.

It was open and you couldn’t see what was in it but you had a good guess from the soft smile on his face as he looked down into it. Suddenly the teasing from his family made sense as to why he had to double check that he’d packed everything and your whole body froze as you realised what this trip was for and Why he was so insistent on you picking somewhere that was special to you.

He wanted to make it even more special.

The snap of the box as he shut it made you jump but you shut your eyes immediately to make it look like you were asleep and only when Mason came over to try and wake you up did you look at him. Trying you hardest to pretend like you hadn’t seen what you just had.

‘Come on, miss sleeps a lot. If you don’t wake up now you won’t sleep tonight’ he told you softly, his lips pressing soft kisses all over your face until you opened your eyes to look at him. ‘There she is. Dinner won’t be long so I thought I’d get you up’ he murmured, placing one final kiss to your forehead before getting up to chase Parker out the door.

You were trying to act as natural as possible so he didn’t find out you knew his secret but he seemed to be acting just as oblivious as you were to the point you’d forgotten about it until the next night when you’d finally gone for dinner out somewhere nice.

The restaurant was small and quiet but it felt cosy and intimate as you sat and spoke about all your favourite parts of your little trip together. Laughing as you recalled the way he got so grumpy when he lost air hockey and the ridiculous way he’d looked in his flippers.

‘Thank you for a lovely weekend, Mase. I’ve had the best time’ you smiled and he smiled back just as warmly. A nervous look on his face slowly taking over his features before he gulped.

‘I have to’ he said quietly before stuffing his hand into his pocket. ‘There’s something I want to give you’ he whispered, placing his hand on the table before pushing a small black box in your direction.

It was the same one you’d seen him look at earlier when he thought you’d been asleep and your breath caught in your throat as your eyes met his.

‘Mase, what’s this?’

‘Open it and find out’ he whispered, nodding down to the box but you didn’t think you had the strength to do it. He was staring you down though so with shaking hands you lifted the box and opened it.

A small pair of studs sat in inside, little red hearts carved from some sort of gem whilst tiny little diamonds sat on the bottom of them. They were beautiful and you gasped as your eyes flew up to meet Mason's excited ones.

‘They’re garnets, my birthstone’ he told you softly, a shiver rolling through you at how thoughtful he’d been however these were the last things you expected to be in there. ‘Do you like them?’

‘I love them’ you smiled, trying to act as natural as possible and ignore the sinking feeling in your tummy. You felt a little silly for assuming it would be something else now but you didn’t want him to catch on to what you were thinking. Forgetting he could read you like a book and always had been able to.

‘You sure? You can be honest with me, I can take them back’

‘No, don’t be silly’ you laughed, placing the box on the table before standing up so you could plant a quick kiss on his lips. ‘Thank you, Mase. They’re beautiful’

‘You’re welcome’ he replied shyly, reaching for your hand as you sat down so he could link your fingers together.

‘I feel bad, I don’t have anything for you’

‘Oh shush’ he laughed, squeezing your hand as he gazed at you lovingly. ‘You being here is more than enough for me’ he told you honestly and you felt your heart thud at the shy look on his face. ‘I’m serious. I know it’s not long but I love getting to do stuff like this when we can’

‘Me too’ you whispered, pulling his hand up so you could kiss his knuckles and your heart soared at the deep blush that took over his cheeks.

After dinner you decided to head back to the house. Another night by the fire pit calling your name so you quickly got changed before grabbing Parker and the marshmallows so you could get seated and ready for Mason to join you on your last evening in your own little slice of paradise.

‘You gonna tell me what’s wrong now?’ He asked, falling into the seat next to you before taking your hands into his. ‘And don’t say it’s nothing cause I know there’s something’

‘Mase-‘

‘Is it the earrings? It’s really not that big of a deal if you don’t like them-‘

‘No Mase’ you laughed ‘look, see? I’ve got them in’ you smiled, showing him your ears and your heart warmed at the soft smile on his face.

‘Well what is it then? You seem… disappointed’ he noted and you hadn’t realised you’d been so transparent. Then again this was Mason, he could read you like an open book and you contemplated brushing it off but in the end you realised you should probably be honest with him.

‘I’m gonna sound insane when I tell you’

‘No you won’t’ he smiled reassuringly and you took one last big beep breath before explaining.

‘The box these came in, it looks very similar to a box another piece of jewellery comes in. At first I thought it was going to be something else’

He was looking at you like he had no idea what you were talking about until you suddenly saw it click in his brain. His lips forming an ‘o’ but you couldn’t look at him for much longer and you felt your cheeks start to burn.

‘I didn’t even think’

‘It’s not your fault’ you laughed

‘So you’re disappointed it wasn’t what you thought it was’

‘I guess so’ you laughed, feeling him tickle your sides lightly to try and cheer you up before looking at you a bit more seriously.

‘Is that something you’d want? You know, to get married?’ He asked tentatively but your warm smile made him visibly relax.

‘If it’s not you Mase, then it’s not gonna be anyone’ you told him truthfully, your heart thudding at how his face softened at your words. ‘I told you once I’d made peace with that fact I’d probably always be alone but that’s not what I want anymore’

‘I don’t want that for you either’ he laughed.

‘I feel like we know what we want our future to look like and marriage would just be the next step you know?’

‘Yeah, you’re right’ he smiled, wider than you’d ever seen him smile before and it made you want to carry on talking so he would keep smiling.

‘I want to spend my life with you, Mase. And I don’t mind what that looks like. At some point I’d like to get married but I don’t mind if that’s now or ten years down the line. We’ve already spoken about mini mounts and if it happens but I just wanna carry on like we are you know? Just doing life together. You me and Parker’

The way he was looking at you was making your head spin, you were hoping you hadn’t said anything too much or gone too far but the soft kiss he left on your lips melted you and you felt okay again.

‘We’ve come a long way huh? Never thought I’d hear you talk about having my kids when we first were getting to know each other’ he joked

‘Well is that what you want?’

‘It’s what I’ve always wanted’ he whispered, kissing your cheek softly. ‘Remember that first night I stayed at yours? I came round and we made cookies?’

‘I remember’ you smiled, images of you and him being cheeky in the kitchen rolling through your mind and you felt warm at the memory.

‘When I saw you’d put a picture of us on your fridge I told myself I was gonna marry you one day. I know it seems like a lifetime ago but you’ve had me since I first saw you. You know you’ve completely ruined me for anyone else don’t you?’ he smiled brightly before getting serious again. ‘Then when I nearly lost you after my injury, that first night you were home I didn’t sleep. Just held you and told myself I’d never let you slip through my fingers again’

‘You haven’t’ you laughed, fingers dancing over the back of his hand before threading your fingers together.

‘Everything you’ve just said is all I’ve ever dreamed of’ he told you softly, his glossy eyes looking over into yours before you kissed him softly. ‘We’re soulmates, me and you. I’ve known it for the longest time and I just love you with everything I have’

‘Love you, too’ you whispered back, fingers still stroking over his skin as his eyes flickered over your face. His sweet words replaying in your ears and you knew he was right. He was your soulmate, and you’d both been out on this earth to find each other. There was a strange look in his eye but you couldn’t quite pinpoint what it was and in the next second he was trying to move you out of his lap.

‘Wait here a sec, yeah? I’ll be one minute’ he told you, untangling himself from you before dashing inside. You weren’t sure where what was happening but he was quicker than you thought he’d be, the same excited smile on his face and he made you laugh as he came towards you with grabby hands. ‘Stand up for me’

‘Why?’ You laughed, eyeing him curiously but he wasn’t backing down so you took his outstretched hands, letting him pull you up before walking you to the other side of the fire where he pulled you into a big hug. ‘Did you just pull me up for a hug’ you laughed after a few seconds but when he pulled back you realised it was a hug of reassurance more than anything else, your eyes darting to Parker who was now watching you both with with his head slightly tilted to the side as if he was just as unsure of what was going on as you were.

‘I need you to just listen to me, yeah?’ He chuckled, pulling back so he could hold your hands and look deep into your eyes. ‘I was waiting for the perfect moment but being with you, every moment is perfect’ he told you softly, letting go of one on your hands so he could reach into his back pocket before taking a step back and kneeling down on one knee in front of you.

It’s like you’d gone into autopilot, not really believing what you were seeing as his big brown eyes looked up at you full of hope.

‘I love you, y/n y/l/n. So so much. I don’t wanna wait ten years when I’ve known for a very long time that you’re the one for me. I tell myself all the time the best decision I ever made was going for a walk at 1am cause it led me to you and I’d do it again a million times over. In this life and the next and all the other ones that come after it cause you’re it for me and I’m so lucky to have found you. Cause I feel like you were put there just for me to find. This, what we have, I want that every day for as long as I possibly can’ he told you finally bringing his arm forward to reveal another black box, but he opened it for you this time, the ring you were expecting at dinner now sat proudly inside and you felt a shiver run through you at the sight of it. ‘Will you marry me?’

You couldn’t speak, collapsing to your knees in front of him so you could wrap your arms around his neck and you felt him chuckle as he pulled you into his body. You were sobbing your little heart out, unable to control your emotions but you wanted to look at him again, pulling back so you could hold his face in between your hands and the tear marks down his cheeks only made you sob harder.

‘Are you s-sure?’ You laughed, watching him roll his eyes before pressing a soft kiss to your forehead.

‘Of course I’m sure, you big melon’ he laughed, squeezing your sides. ‘Come on, don’t leave me hanging. Is it a yes?’

‘It’s a yes’ you whispered, nodding your head furiously before pulling him towards you for a loving kiss. You could feel his relief pouring into you as you held onto each other like you might disappear. Only pulling back so you could rest your foreheads against each other to try and settle each other.

‘Can I put the ring on you now?’ He laughed after a moment of silence and you joined in with him, completely forgetting about the ring as you’d only spent half a second looking at it. You pulled away to look at each other but you couldn’t speak so you just nodded, watching in awe as he opened the box again to reveal the ring of your dreams.

You gasped lightly as he took it out, popping the box on the floor before taking your left hand with his seemingly shaky ones so he could slide the ring onto your ring finger and you were pleased to find it was the perfect size.

‘Do you like it? I can get it changed if you want-‘

You cut him off with a kiss, letting him know you loved it with your lips before pulling back to look into his warm eyes.

‘You could have proposed with a ready salted hula hoop and I still would have said yes’ you whispered, causing him to chuckle before pressing a light kiss to the tip of your nose.

‘I wish you would have told me that earlier. Would of saved me a lot of money’ he joked and you rolled your eyes before letting him help you up to stand. ‘Oh and before you ask, I got permission’

‘You spoke to my dad?’

‘No, Freya’ he winked, pulling you into a hug as you both laughed before he sat back to give you some air. ‘Parker look. Mummy and daddy are getting married’ Mason laughed, tapping his thighs so Parker would come over and join you and you laughed at his slow steps. Seemily unphased at how excited you were but you appreciated the face licks just the same.

You’d said it to each other tonight already, but you really couldn’t believe how far you and Mason had come. From not wanting to see him and ignoring his texts to sitting here with him now. The love of your life declaring he also wants to spend his life with you and you felt like the luckiest girl in the world. Everything the pair of you had been through, the good and the bad, had led you to here and you were so thankful to have finally found your home. The place and the person you belonged to.

After copious amounts of cuddling on the floor, Mason eventually moved you back to sit where you had been and you were holding onto him to dear life. Nothing felt real and you didn’t want to wake up from the dream you seemed to be in so you just held each other as you tried to contain your joy.

‘I can’t believe it’ you laughed, taking another glance at your ring before looking up into Mason's soft eyes.

‘The future Mrs Mount huh? Who would've ever thought’ ’

‘Not me’ you laughed, letting him wipe the last few tears from your face before placing a delicate kiss on your forehead. ‘I love you so much’

‘I love you too, my little mountaineer’

masonmount

liked by y/n, declanrice, freyaaaaxo and others

masonmount Left with a girlfriend, came home with a fiancée 🤍

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Y/n loml 🥺🩷 I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you

masonmount how’s the view from up here baby? 😉

Y/n beautiful 😘

Freyaaaaxo damn son that’s a fat rock 🤭 also I’m not crying you’re crying. CONGRATS MUM AND DAD 🥰

masonmount wouldn’t be here without you 🩷

declanrice my boys all grown up 🥺 love you bro

masonmount family ❤️

woody_ mate you’re punching

Y/n 😌

masonmount I’ll punch you in a minute

Freyaaaaxo Someone’s sleeping on the sofa tonight and it’s not Mason

sophiaaemelia watching the pair of you grow together has been so special. Congratulations my loves 🤍

Y/n miss you soph 🩷

benchilwell got my best man speech ready to go 😉

declanrice get in line

woody_ a trio of best men

lew.mount welcome to the family officially y/n! Proud of the pair you ❤️

masonmount love you brother ❤️

kaihavertz congratulations man 🤍 miss you guys

masonmount we miss you too

Tagged: @chaotic-taco-collector-blog @mm-vii @footiehoemcfc @masonmount07 @aundercover

[strangemaleswaps]

Strange Sleepy Swap

I absolutely hate family vacations. Don't get me wrong, the vacation part is pretty nice. The fact that I'm with my family is the problem. Each year we go to some new crazy location, which would've been fun if they didn't embarrass me every single moment. Normally it's some dumb place within the states, but this time we're going out of the country. I turned 18 a few months ago and just graduated high school, so my parents thought it was a special occasion. Oh, it's going to be special all right - it's the last time I'll be forced to go with them! As soon as the summer's over, I'm moving across the state for college, and hopefully I'll never see them again! But for now, my parents set their sights on Brazil. I guess that's where they went on their first trip together. But I'd rather go to much cooler countries like France or Japan.

So, arriving in Brazil, we moved through the airport - me, my dad, mom, and little sister. There were so many hot guys and good looking people in general walking through the halls. I wanted to flirt with them so badly! But my parents would probably call the police if I went out of their sight for a single minute. We took a taxi and arrived at our hotel room. I found out that there were only 2 bedrooms - one for my parents and one for my little sister and I. I can't even jerk off in the privacy of my own bedroom anymore! I unpacked my stuff anyway, just as my mom walked into the room.

"Are you hungry, kids?" I hate being called a kid. I'm 18! Nobody seems to understand that I'm a legal adult now!

"Yeah," we both replied.

"How about we visit some of the local places to see some culture?"

"Lame," I said.

"Jackson, YOU are going to go with us and YOU are going to like it!" My mom ordered.

"Fine."

Outside the hotel, my dad arrived with our rental car. We drove through the streets but ended up parking in what looked like the poor part of town. I thought we were going to a nice restaurant?

"What the hell are we doing here?"

"Language, Jackson! This is what I was talking about! What better way to see the local culture than to visit the local marketplace?"

We got out and I looked around. The roads and buildings were all run down and there was a gross scent in the air. The marketplace was thriving anyway, but the people there were all ugly. No hot guys! We bought some kind of pastry, eating it at a nearby table. It tasted awful! When we finished, we all split up to explore the rest of the marketplace; I didn't even bother to look at anything else because I knew I wouldn't find anything good.

I walked down the road and saw an open garage-like area with some people inside. Outside sleeping in a chair, was an obese guy with a belly so big, it hung right out of his blue tank top, and covered his knees entirely! His belly button was so big, you could probably fit an entire fist in there! He was probably the grossest human being I've ever seen in my life! It was guys like that that made me feel at least somewhat grateful that I'm so young and skinny.

I walked right past and suddenly he grabbed my arm. His eyes stayed closed though, so I guess it was some form of sleepwalking. I was disgusted anyway, so I jumped backwards and shouted at him.

"Get away from me you disgusting slob!" 

He stayed asleep even after that. But I definitely needed to wash my arm now. Who knows what kind of diseases he was carrying? I started walking towards a restroom, when I felt like I was being watched. I looked to my right to see a creepy old lady staring at me from between two buildings. She was so hideous, she looked like a witch! I ran inside and quickly washed my hands. I walked out of the bathroom, only to come face to face with the witch lady.

"Ahh! Who are you?"

"You don't like your family do you?" Is she trying to relate to me or something? Gross! I answered her anyway.

"Yeah. So?"

"Would you do anything to get away from them?"

"Yeah I guess. What are you getting at?"

"Nothing. Nothing you need to worry about." Anger rushed to my brain and out my mouth.

"Nothing? You can't just ask about my problems then offer to do nothing! Get out of my face you old hag!" Her smile changed to an angry frown but then back to a smile.

"Very well, you want me to do something? I will do something." She took a piece or chalk and started drawing a circle around my feet.

"What? Are you using your witchy magic or something?" I said, sarcastically. She ignored me and continued. With a full circle of purple chalk around me, she put her hands together and started mumbling something. The circle below me was glowing! Not just that, but I was actually sinking into the ground! Is this some kind of portal? If I could teleport to my college campus that would be great! Even better, a gay bar or somewhere I can freely be myself!

I sunk lower and lower until it was just my head and neck sticking out.  I looked up at her and said "Thank you." For some reason, instead of a friendly smile, it seemed like an evil smirk. As my eyes were about to fully submerge into the ground, I closed them.

When I opened them back up, I was sitting down inside, but was disappointed that the same bad smell was in the air. Looks like she teleported me, but it wasn't very far. I knew that witch was full of shit. I guess I should find my family again; it had been an hour and they were probably worried. I tried to get up but something was wrong. I looked down to see what was keeping me grounded when my heart started thumping extremely fast. Gone was my slim body, which was replaced with an overly large hanging gut. What the fuck happened to me? Is it touching my knees? Wait, I recognize that gut! It can't be! I've turned into that one gross slob! Was this that witch's way of getting revenge?

I didn’t want to, but I felt compelled to touch the gut. Unlike before, he was completely shirtless so the massive hanging blubber was visible for everyone to see. I looked at my huge sausage fingers, and poked it. It jiggled. I took my whole hand and pressed into the flab over and over. My whole belly rippled like a body of water. It was actually kinda fun and felt nice. No, what am I doing? I gotta get my body back.

Trying to get up was the hardest part. I had to summon all my strength in order to force the weight of the gut off of me, and plant my feet on the ground as hard as I possibly could. When I got my ass out of the chair, gravity took hold of my gut and I nearly fell over. Slowly, I got myself back onto my feet.

I couldn't even see the bottom of my gut but I could feel it touching my knees! I grabbed the bottom of it and shook. I stuck my hands between the overhang and my waist, and felt a river of sweat hiding underneath. I swear if I ever get back to my body, I'll never insult any fat guy ever again!

I tried walking back to the same bathroom I was just at, but it was more like a waddle. The gut was swinging back and forth, slapping my knees every time, pain with each slap. My back was killing me too. My entire body ached! How did this guy let himself go this far? I squeezed through the door and saw my face for the first time in the mirror. I had gray hair and silver stubble. I was an old man! My whole face was huge and I had a double chin. This can't be happening. I'm only 18!

I walked out of the bathroom just as my family strolled by. Finally! For once I was happy to see them! It'll be weird but I'm sure they can help me get back to normal somehow. I waddled over, approaching them, and freaked out when I saw…me! There was a college aged guy who looked exactly like me alongside them. Is he the owner of the body I'm in? He must be!

"Hey it's you! You have my body!" Everyone turned around, surprised to see me. My parents narrowed their eyes.

"What? What's this about bodies? Who are you?" My dad demanded.

"Mom, Dad, its me, Jackson! There was a witch that swapped our bodies! That guy isn't me!"

"What? Who do you think you are, talking to my son that way? Get out of here creep!" The guy in my body pretended to be just as confused as they were. That liar! Instead of taking any action, they just walked away, shaking me off as just some homeless creep. They probably assumed I wouldn't be able to catch up to them…and they were right. I felt exhausted already, but managed to shout one last sentence at them.

"Wait c-come back! I'm sorry! I'll never complain about vacations again!" The guy who stole my body turned his head around and gave an evil smirk at me. I looked to my right to see the witch again.

"You wanted to be away from them and your wish was granted. Here, you might want this." She tossed me what looked like a shirt, but it was huge. "Paolo gets especially lazy sometimes and doesn't feel like putting on a shirt. You'll get used to it, but here's one just in case."

I wanted to argue but I couldn’t. I just…gave up. I was feeling tired so I slipped the shirt on, pulling it as far over my belly as I could, and waddled over back to the garage area. My knees were killing me at this point so I stood next to the chair I was sitting on earlier, rotated myself, and firmly plopped onto it. All the pain went away and I started feeling drowsy. I rolled up the shirt a little and stuck my finger inside my belly button, playing with it. Am I getting hard? I shouldn't be so turned on but I am! I then pressed my belly in, seeing and feeling the ripples until I finally fell asleep. Haha…Maybe this won't be so bad afterall. I'm finally away from my family, and I can just sleep the day away…everyday…

[royalsweetteaa]

Good intent

Pairing: Dark!Ransom Drysdale x Homeless!Reader

Chapter 1

ONLY 18+ | MINORS DNI

WARNING - This story contains the following: dark & suggesting themes such as kidnapping, non-con, explicit smut, obsessive behavior/possessive behavior/delusional behavior on Ransom’s part, Ransom being a creep in general, unbalanced power dynamic, Stockholm syndrome on reader’s part, classism, size kink, manipulation, angst, a bit of sad!Ransom, eventual fluff.

Ch. | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 |

Summary: Ransom is going through a mid-life crisis where he’s miserable and he wants to change things up to make his daily life more interesting. The change involves taking the freedom of someone who he deems is beneath societal suitability.

Narrator POV

For the past few weeks, Ransom Drysdale had taken notice of a new piece to his repetitive - and quite frankly, boring pattern of a routine.

Every Saturday evening, he and a couple of his so-called friends, who conveniently only hung out with him on occasions where he felt like wasting a lot of money, would go to the nightclub to get drunk, sometimes snort cocaine given the chance, then go their separate ways to hook up with whores when the evening came to an end.

This used to be Ransom’s highlight of the week, and it still was compared to what he did any other day.

He didn’t do much else at home other than occasionally picking up girls to go on a ride on the Beamer - one of his most precious possessions, to then end up at his house to hot sex. His sex drive had been indefinitely high ever since he started his trust fund of a life style. Being alone in a big house with too much money and no job to keep him occupied had led him to feel lonely, frustrated and lastly concluding - lust.

He used to love the attention he was given by the women who so easily spread their legs for him, but eventually he felt empty from them. Because despite how much they would beg him to use them like they were his personal sextoys in the heat of the moment, he knew deep down they didn’t rely on him as much as he relied on them. They were just as much after a good fuck as him, but as soon as he kicked them out of his house the morning after, they were off doing whatever ‘normal people’ do.

They probably had family, friends,…- he on the other hand was left to ponder on what to do next to entertain himself. He had yet to find that one thing that could bring some sort of stability and could satisfy his thirst for a lifelong entertainment. Getting a job was not one of them, no matter how much he sometimes considered it. He only had to remind himself of how miserable he was the few weeks he worked for Harlan at the publishing company.

No, he wanted something else.

And tonight, he thinks he might have found it.

A young woman had caught his eye each time he drove past the street that led to the nightclub. It was obvious enough that she was homeless, given that he had seen her laying against the wall of an apartment building, snuggling in her sleeping bag - reasonably so because it was the end of October. The nights were only getting colder as winter was right around the corner. She wasn’t wearing anything appropriate for the weather either - a thin jacket with no gloves and a hat barely covering her ears to keep her warm.

Her appearance alone wasn’t something he found eye catching. It was simply how there were rarely, if any homeless people around. This small town was known for people of high class, with the exception of lower classes visiting the area to spend the little extra money they had earned from their minimum wage paying job to have a once in a life time experience in the 5 star restaurants or in the luxurious nightclub. The few homeless people who did end up here would be kicked out days later, due to complaints from the rich of how they were ruining the reputation the town tries to uphold.

Ransom couldn’t stay more neutral on the case as he cared little to nothing about what the town decided to do with the less fortunate - as long as his money and property wasn’t personally affected, it didn’t matter to him.

But for once, he couldn’t help but be a little confused as to how this woman had lasted as long as she had. It had been more than a week, and she still hadn’t moved from her spot. Maybe the people who lived in the apartment didn’t mind her presence, or were too occupied to even notice her. She kept her spot pretty tidy too, making sure to not let any trash she may have to spread out on the pavement. She wasn’t the average homeless man who would beg for a penny either, which led Ransom to assume she had some money to cover a few basic needs but not enough to sleep somewhere.

These thoughts kept him preoccupied while he slowly downed the whiskey he had kept in his hand for the longest time. His friends seemed to take notice of how quiet he was the whole time, and tried to ignite his usual enthusiasm.

“See that chick over there? She’s come all this way from Missouri and I heard she gives the best head. Think it’d be good for you to let off some steam and give it a shot, pal.” One of the guys said smugly and pointed to the blonde who seemed to have already been checking out Ransom as she bit her bottom lip seductively.

Ransom sighed and sunk his shoulders. “Sure, why the fuck not.”

He walked up to the woman with a smirk on his face to keep up the same facade he’s had for a while. They flirted with each other - Ransom commented how her filthy words coming from her mouth was turning him on, though it was hardly the truth, and the woman replied with; “wanna see what other filthy things my mouth can do?”

One thing led to another, and he found himself in the handicap restroom with the woman between his legs sucking him off. It was good, - great even, but he felt nothing. This has been going on and on - he practically knows how the night is going to end and it makes him feel miserable. How would this spiral ever end if he kept on letting it happen?

“Fuck-! Stop, just stop.” Ransom said hastily while pushing the woman off of him. “I can’t fucking do this right now.” The blonde had an offended look on her face, but he paid no mind as he tucked his dick back in his boxers and zipped up his trousers. As he left the restroom he could hear her shout after him “you piece of shit!”

It caught the attention of one of his buddies, and they asked if something went wrong, to which he muttered: “I’m leaving. M’tired of this fuckin’ place.”

None of them bothered to go after him after that. Of course they wouldn’t.

He walked towards his car that was parked only feet away from the nightclub entrance. The little alcohol in his system wasn’t enough to make him not sober, so he was confident to drive home safely. Though, his plan wasn’t to drive straight home even if he tried to convince himself it was all the reason he left early.

Driving closer to the all too familiar street, he scanned alongside the pavement, grinning mischievously when his eyes landed on the mysterious homeless woman.

There she is.

Slowing the car down, he came to a full stop when his car reached alongside her. She seemed to have awoken abruptly from the car’s rumbling engine, and glanced up to be met by the driver’s eyes. His gaze was on her through the whole process of him turning off the engine to him stepping out of his car.

He has never been this close to her, and so he took his time to study her face. Upon a closer look, he found her to be quite pretty. Cute even. Dare he say attractive if it wasn’t for the dust on her cheeks, her greasy hair and fashionably outdated clothes. In a sense, he felt dominant as his tall frame seemed to threaten her. Maybe it was the cold temperature, but he liked to think her sudden stiff composure was because of him.

“What’s your name?” Ransom asked, deciding to finally break the silence.

She gave him a cautious look before mumbling her name. One could easily miss it, but Ransom had sharp ears when he really wanted to listen.

“Y/N, huh..pretty name. Name’s Hugh Drysdale. I live not far from here and have seen you a couple times while driving by. Care to tell me how you ended up here?”

“Why? Do I bother you?” She asked condescendingly.

He frowned, slightly irritated. “No, just wanna know because I might be of help. No need for the attitude.” He said. Ransom surprised himself by saying the word ‘I’ and ‘help’ in the same sentence. Guess there’s a first time for everything.

Y/N’s face softened immediately at the mention of help, lowering her guard. “Oh, I see.. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude. I just assumed the worst coming from a guy who has just been at a nightclub.”

So she’s noticed me too. Neat. He thought to himself. “Yeah, I go there from time to time but decided to leave early. Didn’t feel up for it today and I’m still sober, which led me to you.” Ransom explained himself. “You were gonna tell me what happened?”

Y/N sighed and lowered her head as though the mere reminder of her life story made her tired. “If you insist….- I got kicked out from my parents’ house two years ago when I turned 18 because they thought it was the perfect opportunity to let me go without legal consequences. I never had a good relationship with them to begin with as I was always seen as a burden than anything else. I then moved in with an ex-friend but it didn’t work out in the long run. Never found a job either which refrained me from finding a place and paying pay rent. I moved around a lot, from state to state. I used to live in my car but eventually had to sell it to have money for food and other things - and that leads me to where I am right now.”

Ransom shook his head, “Damn, you’ve been through a lot. All this time…having to deal with so much on your own. Must have been hard.” He said, leaning against the same wall beside her with his arms crossed. Deep down he scoffed at how little he could relate to her.

The only thing Ransom felt like he could personally relate to was on the topic of having a troubling relationship with parents. Sure, he wasn’t kicked out of his parents’ house without a bank account containing a large sum of money, but he felt the part where he was also unwanted by his parents, - not to mention by his whole family.

They all hated him and saw him as the black sheep of the family. Harlan was more patient with Ransom compared to the rest, since He was still getting his monthly allowance to continue with his foolery. In the end however, he was left by himself, which led him to realize another thing -

She has no one. Just like me.

He looked down at her from where he was standing, taking in how fragile she looked. How small and weak she was compared to him. He has - and could have anything he wanted, while she has nothing. The contrast between them made him feel something he has never felt before.

“Yeah, it sucks...I don’t want you to feel bad for me though. I have been very lucky to not have been robbed or experience…worse things. People seem to be too busy here and haven’t bothered me. It has made my time out here so much easier. I know I’ll find my place once I get out of here.” Y/N said with a smile.

Ransom hummed contently. He liked her voice. He could get used to hearing her talking about anything her heart desired. “…you know, I can tell you’re freezing just by looking at you. It would be inhumane of me to leave you here for another night. I have a spare guest room and a bathroom you could use for as much as you’d like, till you…figure out where to go from there I guess.”

She looked up at him with doe eyes that made his mind go wild with scenarios - most of them being in a sexual manner. Her in his arms as he kissed her and made her go down on her knees, looking at him with those same eyes while she sucked his-

“Oh, I really appreciate the offer Hugh, but I really don’t need your help. As of tomorrow early, I’ll be on my way to Pennsylvania where I have been offered a place.-“

The fuck?

“Its a shelter for the homeless youth, and the bus I’m taking goes in about…” she checks her watch for a brief moment. It was currently midnight. “..six hours, so I think I’ll do just fine until then. It’s exclusively on its way to where I need to be and it’d be a disaster if I missed it.” She said and chuckled to herself at the mere thought. “But like I said, it was nice of you to-!”

Before she finished her sentence, Ransom straightened his posture, moved away from the wall without sparing her a glance and walked towards his car. The car door was swung open and he slammed it closed once he was behind the wheel. Within seconds, he was back on the main road and drove his way home. His grip on the steering wheel was tight. He was trying to remain calm but he was bad at it. Thoughts and questions were irking him up even more as he got closer to his house.

SHE doesn’t NEED my help? Who the fuck did she think she was talking to? The CEO of charity case? Get the fuck out of here.

Can’t believe she’s picking a fucking homeless shelter over my offer. Ungrateful cunt. Guess she thrives on living in a shithole.

She’s a nobody. She’s nothing. She’s below what is considered a decent member of society, and yet -

she doesn’t need me.

Ransom was fueled with anger at this point. His ego was painfully bruised. He has never offered someone like her any type of service, and when he does for the first time, he’s rejected.

Furthermore, he found himself disappointed that he thought this would go somewhere. He fantasized that if she accepted, he could give her everything and she would see him as her savior from a pitiful life. And in return, he would have her as his thing. The thing that would provide him a satisfactory life. He wanted to be the only reason for her entire livelihood and her to be nothing without him. The mere thought aroused him and made him realize how sick he was, but he didn’t care. He had seen her face and it was enough for him to be sure that he wants that with her. A nobody that had nothing other than him - Hugh Ransom Drysdale.

So what’s stopping him? Who said he had to leave it at her meek rejection? His inner thoughts asked.

It was then when he decided. He was going to get her for his own pleasure, and add good intent to it.

Ransom had taken a few shots at home to calm his nerves while plotting the unthinkable inside his head.

He has had many sinister thoughts in the past during desperate times, but he never acted upon them as he always found a way around it. This time wasn’t like those other times though. It felt like a higher calling was telling him that he had to take action or else he would miss what’s right in front of him. His ticket out of a miserable spiral.

It was 02:30 in the morning, and after taking in careful consideration, he backs out of his driveway and drives downtown once again. A handkerchief and a bottle of chloroform is neatly placed on the passenger seat.

The party at the nightclub had died down by now, and most people had departed. All the lights except for the head lights were off across the whole street where Y/N was resting. She was slotted in the dark between two head lights and could barely be seen from a distance. This was a huge advantage on Ransom’s part. He parked the Beamer a little further away not to wake her. Only for a few minutes did he wait to be sure it was the right time to approach.

He picked up the bottle of chloroform, holding it away from his face as much as possible while opening it and making the handkerchief ready for use. A few drops of sweat had appeared on his forehead, probably from nervousness. This has to go as swiftly as possible or I’m out of luck.

With quiet steps he approached her, with the handkerchief sprayed with a dose of the drug in his hand.

When he was close enough, he shoved the handkerchief onto Y/N’s nose and mouth, holding her body down with his other hand causing her whole body to jolt awake, her eyes wide open and whimpering out of distress. She tried to resist and push him off but her strength was quickly drained from the drug and her eyes twitched, trying to have them remain open.

“Shhhh, it’s alright sweetheart, go back to sleep..” he cooed. Her body started to slump downwards to the ground again, but he held her back steadily and lifted her up with both of his arms. She was completely knocked out, and while he cautiously looked around for any witnesses - only to see none, he hooked her backpack on his arm with her and rushed back to the Beamer, putting her in the passenger seat. He left her sleeping bag behind, secretly hoping that It’ll add fuel to the fire and piss some people off that a homeless person had left their stuff behind like many times before.

While driving back, Ransom took quick glances at the woman he had taken while still maintaining concentration to the road. His thumb reached out to her cheek and he attempted to smear off the dust, unsuccessfully doing so.

“Don’t worry, kitten. We’ll get you all cleaned up.” He mumbled, more to himself than to her.

He laid her body in the guest room and gathered supplies for her to use in the morning. Towels, bottles of shampoo with different fragrances, a deodorant, toothpaste and a toothbrush - everything a person would need. He knew he would have to buy clothes for her too, but he wouldn’t be able to do that until tomorrow. She can wear his clothes in the meantime.

He had these extra supplies stored after his mother complained relentlessly on how little personalized the guest room was. He would argue that the extra stash was useless because he wouldn’t have any guests over in the near future.

Guess he could finally admit he was wrong. Those silly soaps with different scents would come to great use in the hands of Y/N. Or maybe in the use of his own hands roaming around her body.

While he expected her to clean herself by her own when the morning arose, he figured he could do the easy task of cleaning her face.

Fetching a clean cloak and soaking it up in semi hot water, he brought it to Y/N’s face, gently rubbing at the spots where the dust had stained her skin. He touched her hair out of curiosity and leaned in to smell if she had any odor.

He smelled something that he couldn’t quite pinpoint, and upon closer look he noticed her roots were stained with a tint of white. He put one and one together - she had been using baby powder to keep her hair from turning greasy and smelly after assumingely going weeks off washing her hair. Poor little thing, he thought. And she thought she would be better off at a shelter than be with me. As if that would make her life any better. How pathetic.

In a less discreet way, he removed her jacket and unbuttoned her shirt to remove her bra. The countless of women that have been over at his place would always complain leaving their bras on for the whole night, leaving their breasts sore from the restraint. With this knowledge, he had an excuse to take a peek at her breasts.

Once Ransom figured out how to remove the straps, he was met by two perky nipples staring right back at him. His mouth watered at the sight. He felt the restraint of his trousers tightening.

Less than 24 hours ago, he could be found having a threesome with two prostitutes in his king sized bed - yet, this somehow made him more easily riled up compared to the last several intercourses he has had.

His hand reached out to squeeze one of her tits. They were so soft. So beautiful. His other hand reached to his bulge, palming it with slow strokes. His breath hitched and he abruptly stopped both acts.

Fuck, get it together, Ransom. There will be a time to have her, but that will have to be after she has showered.

Buttoning her shirt back together and taking her bra with him to the dirty laundry basket, he left the guest room and went straight to his bedroom.

Through his wardrobe of clothes was an access control panel controlling the level of security he wanted the house to be on. Most doors and openable windows relied on the level of security the control panel was set to. In this case scenario, Ransom had now maximized the level of security - meaning all windows were now completely sealed and all doors leading outside would remain locked at all times - unless he typed in the code. That way, Y/N would be free to roam around the house without him being worried she might run away. The system was secured enough for her to never figure out the code. His house had large glass exterior, but thankfully there were blenders to block the outside world.

He didn’t have to worry about passerby’s seeing Y/N when he wasn’t around to keep her in check. There were hardly any people around where he lived, but he didn’t want to risk it.

He did have a basement he could put her in as well, but that would be too cruel. After all, he’s not a monster. He only has good intentions, even though some of them may be morally questionable.

Finally tucking himself into bed, he kept a smirk on his face as he let his eyes finally rest. The morning excited him. He was prepared that Y/N would be defensive and show resistance, but he was determined to put her in her place and make her see his way. -

Make her realize she needs him, make her crave him for his riches and understand that only through him she can be a somebody.

Hearts & Reblogs are very appreciated! <3

[spicyicetea]

Something feels off

Yandere JJK various x reader

[Y/N+General info]

Chapter 1, what a cursed school

Cicadas chirped as the streets grew busy with people running. To work. To school. To just get out of the house. I ran a hand through my hair, moving the locks that clung to my forehead from the humidity. My side of town was usually very quiet, so the sudden tensing of my shoulders was... Unusual. I could hear the shadows laughing as they followed just behind me. Cursed energy was flowing around me like a river, making me shiver in discomfort. 

It wasn't normal for curses to be out in this area, had someone died? No, death wouldn't elicit this extreme negative emotion from enough people for this much cursed energy. Perhaps I should just keep an eye out.

I traced my finger along the rough brick of the building next to me, mumbling under my breath.

“Karaka, can you keep an eye out from the shadows?”

“Why should I obey you, human?”

“It was a request, not a demand, you don't have to.”

The other voice paused before sighing. I smirked, knowing this meant that the curse I had bickered with had given up and decided to just go with my plan. I continued to walk, my fists clenched by my sides as I dipped into a nearby alley. The school must have been wondering where I was at this time yet I gave no second thought as I continued. 

I was nowhere near professionally trained in hunting down curses, I barely knew anything about them. Ever since I was young I had a gift that allowed me to see them. Gave me the strength needed to fight them. My family came from a long line of Jujutsu sorcerers, although we hadn't had one born into the family in years. 

Small droplets of saliva hit the ground in front of me. My eyes flicked up to the large curse. Its cursed energy was something else, something I had never seen before. A hole in its chest was prominent as it went to attack, dragging me from my trance.

“MOVE!” A male voice yelled, a black-haired boy stood at the other end of the alley. 

I rolled out of the well before clicking my fingers. The boy rushed forwards, two wolves leaping and attacking the curse. His shikigami. So he must be a jujutsu sorcerer as well! 

“That's a special grade curse, neither of us can kill that thing! Get out of here girl!” he yelled.

I smiled at his yelling, knowing that his screams came from a place of concern and care. Placing a hand ok his shoulder I stepped forwards closing my eyes.

“Cursed technique, ancient channelling.” I closed my eyes as I felt my body move by itself. 

With a snap of my fingers, the curse split in two, dropping a strange object to the floor.

“There, you know your end of the deal Y/N.”

“Of course Karaka, I'll get you more nachos.”

I felt myself regain control over my body as I wobbled. The boy stared in shock before grabbing my shoulder.

“Are you alright? What was that?”

“Yes ok fine, and don't worry about what that was. I need to head to school now, and you probably should too.” 

With a hurried bow, I grabbed the object that dropped from the curse from the floor before running off, hoping to make my way to the school gates before it closes.

It wasn't often that I wanted to be at school. But, after being let into the occult club, that boy kept my mind in a vice-like choke hold. All I could think of was that dumb pink-haired boy. It drove part of me insane, yet the other part was drunk and starved for the feeling. Itadori Yuji. The third member of the occult club and my lifelong crush. I had shared a school with him since we both started school. He never really noticed me, but I sure as hell noticed him. Always the best at any sport he tried, everyone loved him. We had been friends at first, but I couldn't keep up with him, and I fell behind. 

Despite how incompatible we were, I still chased after him, and I doubt I would stop soon. I smoothed my hair and jumped over the fence. My shoes smacked the ground as I landed, the bell ringing loudly. Crap! Already late!

With a gulp, I began my sprint toward the school. My hair whipped wildly in the wind as I ran, grazing my eyes every now and then causing me to squint. The harsh sun didn't make matters better as I ran inside as quickly as I could, hoping to reach my club room before the day officially ended. The occult club was one of the only places I felt welcomed. I knew not everyone could see curses, but it felt like these people could, especially with their suspicion surrounding the field. 

When I transferred to the school, away from my private one to return back to Yuji, I couldn't help myself. There is just something about him, I can't explain it. But, the occult club was the only non-sport that I could join at this time. To thank them for accepting me, I always clean the room before the club starts. I hike my knees as I run up the stairs, pushing past people to get inside. 

Ignoring the yells of people I ran past, I slid into the room, my back hitting an unexpected wall. I yelp, jumping away from whatever I hit.

“Oh, hey Y/N!” the three called in between laughs.

“I'm so sorry I'm late! I got caught up in class.”

“No problem, come sit beside me!” Yuji patted the seat beside him.

I felt my heart jump to my throat and I began thanking the gods. Usually, I sat opposite him, but because the room was messy when they came in, one of the sides of the table was blocked. I get to sit next to Yuji!

Trying to stay confident, I sit beside him, swallowing the sigh of happiness as his leg brushed mine. They sat, doing an Ouija board as I just watched, giggly and shaky from Yuji’s closeness. My heart sat in my throat as he’d look at me with large excited eyes when the planchette would move. Love is an extreme word. But I loved this adorable salmon-haired boy. I wish he felt the same.

The door was thrown open as another man entered. I was lost in my own world so I didn’t pay attention to much, other than the coach pushing his way through and demanding Yuji join a sports team. No! If he did then I wouldn’t be able to spend my after-school time with him! Not fair not fair!

“I don’t want to be in a sports team!” Yuji argued back, but the coach had already settled on a bet.

If Yuji could beat the coach, then he could stay in the occult club. I knew he would, Yuji was something else, so strong… it was admirable. He left in a hurry to make sure he wouldn’t have to waste too much time. It wasn’t too long until everyone was just heading home. 

I jogged all the way home, hoping to get some time to finish my homework. It wasn’t long until my face smashed against a familiar back and I stumbled, falling to the floor. 

“Oh, damn, you alright?”

My eyes widened looking up at the boy.

“Oh Y/N, I had no idea you were there! You alright?”

“I’m fine Yuji, what are you doing here? What are the flowers for?”

“Ah, they’re for my grandpa, he’s in the hospital still.”

“Oh that’s horrible, I hope he gets better Yuji!”

Yuji just lets out a chuckle and messes with my hair, letting out a small thanks. Biting my lip, I muster up as much courage as I physically can, rolling the stem of one of the fallen flowers between my fingers. 

“Why don’t I head to see him with you, I haven’t seen your grandpa since I was 3.”

And, that’s how I ended up here. Arms coiled tightly around his back as he struggles to contain his tears. I rubbed his back and rested my head on the back of his neck. His erratic breaths and shaking body were barely calmed by my presence. Wet eyes met mine as he turned. He slumped and our foreheads touched. I knew now wasn’t the time to listen to my jumping heart but I couldn’t stop its intense thumping. My thumbs rubbed over his cheeks as I looked up at him. Eyes wide, it felt like we were magnetised together.

“Yuji…”

“I’m sorry if I’ve misunderstood, but I can’t wait anymore, not now. I have to do this before I lose you too... Y/N.” 

Yuji grabbed my face, squishing my cheeks in his hand. His other hand roughly grabbed my waist and his nose pushed into my cheek. Chapped and glossy, from the stressed licking of his lips, mashed against mine. Yelping, I grabbed the back of his neck, whimpering against him. I never thought this time would come, but I wanted nothing more than to stay here. Poor timing however as moments later we were speaking to the nurse about the time of death.

A dark-haired boy stepped out from the shadows. The hair on the back of my neck stood up as I stepped away from Yuji, prepared to fight if he attacked.

“Itadori Yuji. I need to talk to you about a special-grade cursed object you have.”

“I'm kind of mourning here.”

“Our apologies but that cursed object can lead to many deaths,” another voice called, striding beside the black-haired boy.

Yuji explained the situation and the two of them panicked. The girl with dark red hair whispered something to the raven-haired boy and he nodded. The two spun on their heels and dashed out, leaving Yuji and me behind.

“Hey wait! You can't just say that and leave!” Yuji yelled, running after them.

My eyes widened and I began running after him. This isn't the first time I've had to chase after him. But, I’m sure as hell not used to doing it this often.

“Your friends are in danger,”

“Then let’s go through here! It’s a shortcut.” 

Yuji lead us up a hill as the three of us ran after him. Once at the school gates, the black-haired boy jumped over alongside the red-headed girl. Yuji grit his teeth and clenched the bar of the gate tightly.

“You two stay here!”

“What the hell? No way!” Yuji yelled.

But, no one heard but the two of us given the others had already begun running towards the school. He punched the gate before turning back to me. I recognised that look in his eyes. He felt helpless… useless. It pained me to see him like this. 

I couldn’t blame him, it was all too much, he had just lost his grandpa, and now he was at risk of losing his school friends. I can’t imagine how overwhelming that must be. But, he can’t see curses, so he can’t just go in there and fight. So, why am I still here? I can see curses perfectly fine, yet I’m just sitting here. 

“I can’t just sit here! You coming or what?” I ask, pulling myself up the gate.

Yuji’s eyes widen and he grins, grabbing my hand to pull himself over the gate with me. I grin in response and hike him over, jumping down and running towards the school. Yuji quickly disappeared and I continued forwards through the school doors, dashing up the stairs. 

“Demon dogs!”

My eyes widened as two shikigami appeared before me. The black-haired boy from before sending them to attack a large curse. It seemed to be trying to consume both of the people and the cursed object. The boy froze as Yuji crashed through the window, landing on the curse and carrying his friends away. As they began to run from curse a second busts through the wall. The red-headed girl smashed into the floor beside me as I spun on my heels to look at the attacking curse.

“You alright?”

“I just got thrown through a wall! Yeah, I’m fine.”

“I’m Y/N!”

“Now isn’t the time!” They jump out of the way as the bug-like curse strikes the ground beside us.

“Well, when is the time?”

“NOT NOW!”

[imjusthereforwolfstar]

So I attempted a thing, and I can’t believe I actually got it done in time for O’Knutzy Week.

Title: What Did You Do?

Prompt: Column B- B1 Romance Novels, B2 Vacation, B3 Surprise Visit, B4 Babbyyyyy and B5 Good Morning to Me

CW for Food, squint and you might miss it joke about weight, General Vaincre Spoilers

Big thanks to @oknutzy-week-2024 for organizing this amazing week, and always huge thanks to @lumosinlove for the characters and this world we get to play in.

Leo woke because the bed was vibrating. Confused, he cracked open one eye to see it wasn’t the bed, exactly, that was vibrating. Finn was perched on the edge of the bed, struggling to contain his excitement while Leo slept.

“Oh! Hey Sunshine! You’re awake! We have to leave in 45 minutes.”

Leo blinked rapidly. “Leave? Finn, it’s the week before training camp starts. We don't have to be anywhere until we go to the hardware store this…” he trailed off, staring at Finn and his poorly concealed grin. He narrowed his eyes. “Finn. What did you do?”

“Me? Do something?” Finn asked innocently. Then he clapped his hands once. “Now up! We’ve got a day ahead of us.”

Leo ran through his morning routine faster than usual, then found Finn in the living room. Finn was sitting on the couch, finishing up his coffee, with two small, overstuffed duffle bags on the seat next to him, and a mischievous look on his face. “Ready Butter?”

“I guess so? Finn, what’s-”

“Great!” Finn clapped his hands again and rubbed them together. He jumped up, but as he grabbed the two duffles, a smaller canvas tote next to his foot slid to the floor. “OH! I can’t believe I almost forgot!” He handed the bag to Leo. “For entertainment and nourishment during our travels.”

Leo peeked in the bag. There were four boxes of his favorite candy, two cans of favorite sweet tea (almost as good as Eloise’s) and 3 brand new romance novels. Leo's face lit up. “You got the newest ones?” Finn grinned at the excitement on Leo’s face. “Waited in line to snag them the day they came out.”

They settled into the car and Finn pulled out of the parking lot. “Finn, what’s going on?” Leo tried again, but Finn just smiled a vague smile and wagged his eyebrows.

Finn pulled onto the highway and headed south. Leo saw no use in asking again where they were going, so he contented himself with watching the city slide past the window.

They had been on the road for a while when Finn turned off the highway. He drove a few miles off the main road, through a small town, and pulled into a parking lot. “Thomas told me about this place,” he explained, “they bake everything fresh, their pastries are amazing, and they are just next door to this neat crystal shop. Oh, and the coffee shop down the street is supposed to have the best lavender lattes.”

Finn and Leo spent a pleasant hour sampling the pastries (Leo’s favorite was the lemon meringue tart, Finn enjoyed the peach turnovers, and they both agreed to bring Logan back for the salted caramel brownies) and Leo and the woman at the register chatted and swapped baking tips when they paid, while Finn petted a strangely friendly orange cat. They wandered up the street, poking in the shops (“Finn, look at these crystals! I wonder what these are for?”) before getting coffee in gorgeous handmade mugs from the shop down the road. Finn paid and he and Leo settled in the squashy chairs.

“Finn.” Leo started again. “This has been a lovely morning, but what is going on?”

Finn took a long sip of his latte. “It’s the week before training camp. You get edgy. You wander around, straighten things that are already straight and organize sock drawers that are already organized. And Lo’s gone back a week early to settle himself in before camp starts. I… I can’t keep you settled in the way he can, so I thought a short little surprise vacation might take your mind off of things before everything starts again.”

Leo blinked. Did he really do that? He thought back to last year and the feeling of unsettledness came back to him. Wandering from room to room, reworking the kitchen, picking up a book only to put it down a few minutes later because he couldn’t focus. He muttered a sheepish apology, but Finn just laughed. “Don’t apologize! It gives me an excuse to spoil you and take you on a mini trip.” Leo smiled and leaned and gave Finn a kiss. “Thank you Fish.”

Finn smiled. “Shall we, then?” Leo nodded. They got back in the car and drove for another while, until Leo started to smell sea air.

Finn pulled the car into the driveway of a gorgeous beach house. Leo got out of the car and looked up at the house. It was huge. White clapboard, black shutters with little hearts cut out of them, and a royal blue door. It sat on a bluff overlooking the ocean. He saw a small, fenced in yard in the back with a patio and fire pit. The late summer breeze ruffled his curls as he walked up to the edge of the bluff and stared out at the water. The waves were blue and sparkling and crashing up against the beach and Leo was suddenly struck at how different it was from the Bayou back home.

Home. He missed home. He missed the heat and the humidity and the smell of spices in the air when he walked up on the porch of his parents house. And he missed his parents. The start of the season always made him miss the love and support he got from Eloise and Wyatt. They had been with him though so many season starts and they knew just what Leo needed to help him get his head into the game. And although he knew they still loved him and supported him, it was somehow different hearing it through a speaker. Leo sighed, and turned back to the car to help Finn with the bags. He pulled the canvas bag from the front seat. He was looking forward to cracking open the newest novel, snuggled up with Finn in the hammock he spied in the backyard, taking turns reading chapters out loud to each other.

Leo was walking up the front steps when the front door opened, and a familiar blond head poked out. Leo’s jaw dropped and he turned to Finn with wide eyes.

“Surprise!”

“Finn. What did you do?”

“Surprise!”

The door opened the rest of the way, and Leo was enveloped in a hug he was just now realizing he needed and missed. Eloise smelled like home. Magnolia perfume and outside and fresh baked muffins. Wyatt ruffled his hair and Leo could feel the roughness of his hands, reminders of childhoods past, hours in the garage and even more hours on the ice. Leo took a deep breath and let the feeling of peace wash over him. Leo was still learning that he didn’t have to be strong for everyone, all the time. It was okay to let it go and let people take some of the weight, and right now, with his parents this close, he knew it was okay to let them carry the weight of the season for him for a little bit.

Leo took another deep breath and caught a whiff of something amazing. He pulled back from the hug. “Mama…is that your gumbo I smell?”

“Sure is, love. Been cooking since 10 am.”

Leo followed his nose straight to the spacious kitchen. Copper pots hung on the rack over the light gray island. There was a massive slate farmhouse sink in front of a window that had gorgeous views of the ocean. And there, on the stove, was a pot full of Leo’s favorite. Bowls and spoons were already next to the stove, so Leo took a big scoop of rice and an even bigger scoop of gumbo, and sat at the island savoring Eloise’s exquisite ability to balance flavors. He already could see Finn doing his best to politely eat a few spoonfuls while slowly turning as red as his hair.

Finn did indeed politely eat a few spoonfuls of gumbo before Eloise laughed and took pity on him and pulled some cold fried chicken out of the fridge.

It was a lovely afternoon. The weather was just starting to cool off, and there was a wonderful breeze in the air. They ate, and chatted about everything and nothing. Finn and Leo sat in the hammock and passed the book back and forth, laughing at the absurd parts and discussing how much better they could have written the ending. Leo and Eloise found the path down to the beach and skipped rocks in the water, while Wyatt and Finn watched late season baseball. In the early evening, Leo opened the fridge and discovered it was packed with all his favorite ingredients. He cooked up a storm, making blackened catfish sandwiches with homemade remoulade sauce and green beans, with peach cobbler for dessert. After everyone was pleasantly full, Wyatt lit a fire in the fire pit, and they sat around the crackling fire, cups of tea or warm apple cider, and discussed the Lions prospects for the season.

It was almost the perfect evening. It was late summer and the nights were just starting to cool off, but the fireflies were still winking at them from in the grass. The stars were brighter here than in Gryffindor, but still not as bright as home. The only thing missing was Logan. Logan and Eloise would be comparing notes of French Canadian vs French Creole by now, and he and Wyatt would have already made plans to work on the car the next time they visited New Orleans.

Finn’s hand caught his and squeezed, like he knew what he was thinking. Logan had texted back when they sent him pictures of the house and the ocean. He and Alex had made plans for dinner now that he was back in NYC and Leo was happy he was settling in so much better this year than last year.

Leo slept better than he had in several weeks. He woke for a few minutes when Finn slipped out of the bed for his morning run on the beach, and drifted back to sleep listening to the murmur of voices in the living room.

The smell of Wyatt’s biscuits and gravy snaked its way under the bedroom door, and lured Leo from bed. He shuffled down the stairs, and rounded the corner into the kitchen. “Well, good morning to me. Dad, they are going to have to get me a larger jersey after…” he trailed off. Sitting at the counter, tucking into a pile of fluffy biscuits and creamy gravy, was a head of chocolate curls he would have known anywhere.

“Lo?” Leo croaked. “What? Why are you here? You were in New York?”

Logan turned his head to face him. “I’m here for you. Well, you, and the promise of Eloise and Wyatt’s home cooking. But mostly you, Soleil.”

Leo rushed forward and wrapped his arms around Logan's back. He buried his face into Logan’s neck and breathed in the familiar scent of cologne and mint tea and Tiger Balm and finally felt everything fall into place.

The back door clicked open. “Babyyyyy?” Leo called out.

“Yes?” Finn came around the corner, in shorts and running shoes, headphone case in one hand and the tops of his shoulders a little pink.

“What did you do?” Leo asked for the last time, and Finn smiled his biggest Finn smile. “Surprise?”

[male-body-swap-lover]

Thanksgiving Transformation Nightmare - Part One

BlueLite on main was the hottest gay bar in town. Next week is Thanksgiving so they are hosting a special Thanksgiving theme party. “Dress as your Parents” since so many people go home for thanksgiving. However, BlueLite has special powers. Let’s follow some of our friends on their life changing adventure.

Eric and Steve were hanging out at Bluelite just like every Saturday night. They had both grown up in the Midwest with stereotypical parents, so they dressed like their suburban dads. White t-shirts tucked into sexy jean shorts, white tube socks and sneakers, with phone clips and baseball hats. Eric even grabbed a pair of fake glasses to wear.

“Eric, we look ridiculous. Let’s pray to Madonna herself that we never turn into our fathers.”

“Steve, hon, absolutely not. We are two hot, stylish gay men. No way would we ever dress like this.”

“Get us two more of these lime life twisters. I can’t believe they have never served these before. So good!”

Eric went to the bar to order two more. They kissed each other, cheered their drinks, and drowned them. After they finished, they realized everybody had stopped dancing.

“What the hell” Eric said.

Suddenly, a wind whipped around them and they started changing. First, the weight packed on everywhere on their body. Their faces sagged and they gained second chins. Their stomachs bulged and sagged over their belts. Their jean shorts repaired themselves and lengthened to their knee caps. Their bodies aged 35 years so that they were 63 years old. Bushy gray moustaches grew on their upper lips. Their baseball caps became generic and flipped around to face the right away. Eric’s fake glasses blew over to Steve’s face and turned into real glasses. Finally, every memory of their old lives disappeared, and were replaced with new memories of marrying the women of their dreams, settling down in the suburbs, and raising multiple kids. The winds disappeared and everyone was dancing again.

“Eric, are we in one of them gay bars?”

“I think so Steve. How’d we end up in here. I thought we were going to Richie’s down the street for some beer.”

“Well, it’s too late now. I have to get home and help Carol get the house ready for Thanksgiving.”

“Sounds good buddy. See you soon. Tell Carol and the kids happy Thanksgiving from Susan, the kids, and I.”

“Will do, Eric.”

Both the men got into their Ford F150’s and drove home to their loving wives.

They were the first of only many victims of the Thanksgiving Theme Party at Bluelite. Better watch out, I hear those lime life twisters are vicious.

[fortheloveofwonderland]

Midnight | Chapter 12 | SR

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Chapter Summary - after arriving in Crested Butte, things seem like they might finally be getting better between you and Spencer. But when Spencer meets a beautiful, young local, can he resist temptation?

Pairing - unsub! Spencer Reid / Fem! Reader

Category - dark angst | smut | very eventual happy ending

Warnings - brief mention of oral (m receiving) and brief mention of penetrative sex, a surprising amount of fluff, swearing.

WC - 4.4k

Chapter 12 - Better Than This

By the time you finally arrived in Crested Butte, Colorado it felt like an entire lifetime had passed since you left DC. You’d changed so much as a person in that time you weren’t sure you even recognised yourself anymore. 

Somewhere along the drive from Albuquerque Spencer had detoured off into the mountains where you watched from the car while he dug a hole in the middle of the forest and buried the body of Duncan Green. 

You’d made another stop at a pay-by-the-hour motel in which you’d showered and changed into clean clothes. And maybe during the course of cleaning yourselves up you’d found yourself on your knees for him, worshipping him with your mouth, despite the fact he didn’t deserve it. 

Driving up through the small town of Crested Butte you found yourself in awe of the quaint little place. It was nestled right into the base of the town's namesake mountains, this time of year lacking their winter snow but they were no less breathtaking. 

You drove down Elk Avenue, the town’s main street just as the sun was beginning to set. The dainty street was lined with wooden buildings of every colour of the rainbow, with eccentric signs promoting each business. Benches and trees periodically lined the kerbside and a few people meandered the street but very few cars were around. 

Spencer slowed the Nissan so the two of you could take it all in. The place was free of any big corporate chains, opting for that small town charm you found in really rural parts of America. Boutique storefronts boosted names such as Townie Books, Milky Way Boutique, Scouts General Store and the Oh-Be-Joyful art gallery. 

You spotted at least five coffee shops, with equally cutesy names, a breakfast diner called McGill’s, a surprising array of restaurants including Garlic Mike’s and Uley’s Cabin and Ice Bar and an even more impressive selection of bars. It was a small community, the kind of place where you assumed everybody knew each other’s business. Maybe not the best place for two criminals to hide out, but you could only hope Spencer knew what he was doing.

But as if reading your mind he inhaled sharply with a shake of his head. 

“Jesus Christ, everyone is looking at us.” 

“It’s like being under a microscope.” You agreed. 

“We’ll just have to be on our best behaviour, Rose.” He shot you a sideways glance. 

He turned up 4th Street which thankfully didn’t have as many onlookers and was soon taking a right onto Gothic Avenue. He pulled the Nissan to a stop outside the house at the very end of the road, shut off the engine and jumped out of the car. With a roll of your eyes, you followed him. 

He grabbed your bags and led you to the front gate. Your heart swelled in your chest as you took in the facade of the newly renovated cabin, secluded at the end of the street. 

A little cobbled path led to the house, with a neatly trimmed lawn either side. The house itself was made of rustic, dark wood, with a couple of stone steps leading up to the front porch with two rocking chairs side by side and a cute little window complete with a flower box with some beautiful red flowers blooming inside it. 

There was a black metal lockbox next to the front door which Spender tapped a code into and fished out the keys sheathed inside. He handed them to you and motioned for you to do the honours. You felt a surge of excitement and couldn’t hold back the grin from your face as you took them from him and eagerly slotted them in the front door.

The door opened into the cosy living room with hardwood floors and an exposed brick fireplace which were strangely juxtaposed against the large flat screen TV hanging on the wall. All the furnishings were miss matched which you found extremely endearing, no two cushions were the same, let alone the couches and chairs. 

To the right of the door was the open plan kitchen which was decked out with all new appliances, marble countertops and a huge double fridge. Out the back of the kitchen was the dining room with a low hanging chandelier over the table which you didn’t think would look out of place in an Arthurian castle. A bathroom was off to the side and another living room out the back, this one was much more modern yet still kept with the miss matched furniture theme. 

You followed the staircase behind the dining room up to the first floor and quickly located the master bedroom. By this point your mouth was hanging open in awe. The bedroom was large and light and airy, all white painted wood with a sloping ceiling but was still tall enough for Spencer, at just over six feet tall, to stand without hindrance. The bed was a huge king sized, with the softest looking sheets and big fluffy pillows. The light grey carpet was plush and you couldn’t wait to run your toes through it.

On one side was a built-in wardrobe and a door leading to a very modern en-suite. On the other side was a large grey armchair and double doors leading out to the first floor patio area. You ambled forward, looking much like a kid in a candy shop and pushed open the doors. 

The patio overlooked the garden and you estimated by the placement that it most likely got sun for most of the day, not that it was warm enough in Crested Butte in spring to sunbathe. It had a couple of wicker couches with more miss matched cushions lining them and a little glass coffee table. On the far side was a spiral staircase that led down to the neat backyard, which had a raised decking with more garden furniture and a fairly decent sized hot tub. 

From the first floor you had the most perfect view of the sprawling Crested Butte mountains as far as the eye could see. Your heart yearned for this place, like for the first time in your life you could breathe easily. You immediately felt at peace here, maybe you had finally found your way home. It was as though someone had plucked your ideal home straight from your brain and made it a reality. It was a flawless recreation of all your hopes and dreams. 

Spencer dumped the bags on the floor in the bedroom and watched you curiously from the doorway. He folded his arms across his chest and leant against the doorjamb while he watched the back of your head. Somehow he already knew you were smiling. 

When you turned to him, the tears behind your eyes were immediately noticeable but your lips were turned up into the brightest smile you’d ever seen. 

“How did you know?” You croaked, not daring to walk over to him.

“You’re kidding right?” He chuckled with a shake of his head. “For as long as I’ve known you, you’ve talked about living off the grid, in some backwater town where everybody knows your name. Quaint, you used that word a lot. Rustic. I remember once or twice you mentioned the Gilmore Girls?”

Your smile grew and you had to fight back the tears.

“You found me my very own Stars Hollow.” You felt so emotional that Spencer would do this for you. You’d genuinely started to think he didn’t care about you and that your presence was a burden to him. But how many men would do this for you? 

“Yeah, well don’t read too much into it.” He rolled his eyes. “You know it's great for me too because it's close to a ton of other states so I have a wealth of targets and small town charm has its appeal.” 

“You found me my own Stars Hollow.” You repeated as you started towards him across the patio. 

He dropped his arms to his sides but his back went rigid, a frown forming on his brow.

“What are you doing?” He grumbled when you were suddenly throwing your arms around his neck and pulling him into your body.

“It’s called a hug, Spence.” You giggled, and god if he hadn’t heard you made that sound in so long. 

It melted him, truly turned him into a puddle and he couldn’t help but wrap his arms around you in return and hold you close. He breathed you in, mesmerised by the way you felt tucked in his embrace like you’d belonged there all along. It felt so much like old times and maybe Spencer hadn’t completely ruined things with you after all. 

This town, this cabin had been another way for him to show his gratitude towards you when he had such a hard time expressing it with words. And seeing how happy it made you caused his heart to explode in his chest. You deserved so much better than he’d been offering you lately. Something had to change. 

When you pulled back to look at him, you both kept your arms around each other and the way Spencer was looking at you was different to anyway he’d looked at you as of late. His smile reached all the way to his eyes and if you weren’t mistaken, he looked almost bashful. It was a side of him you hadn’t seen in so long and so you couldn’t help but get up on your tiptoes and place a soft kiss to his lips. 

He hummed into the kiss, large hands flush on your back and he used his tongue to tentatively part your lips. The kiss deepened but it wasn't so animalistic and frantic as usual, he was soft and almost shy, his hands not hungrily pawing at your body like you were used to. 

You gently moved the two of you further into the room until Spencer’s legs hit the bed. He pulled away from your lips and looked down with a doe-eyes stare. 

You smiled at him and nodded, motioning for him to get on the bed. He swallowed and bent down to remove the Colt from his boot, setting it on the nightstand before kicking his shoes off. He lowered himself to the mattress and shuffled up the bed until his back was against the pillows. 

He seemed nervous, such a strange change in character to the way he’d been the other times you’d been in this position. He was giving over full control to you and for once he didn’t care. 

You crawled on the bed and into his lap, knees either side of his thighs. You could feel his erection pressing between your legs but he wasn’t grinding against you or rushing you to get undressed. His hands found purchase on your hips but it wasn’t his typical firm grip, his fingers brushing lightly against your shirt. 

His lips were slightly parted, as if waiting for another kiss. You bowed your head closer to him to offer him what he wanted, and once again the kiss was much less hurried than you were used to. Spencer seemed to want to explore every inch of your mouth with his tongue, languidly venturing to commit every corner to memory. 

You placed your hands against his chest while his fingers started to knead your sides. You could feel his heart beating beneath your palm. It felt somewhat erratic. 

“Are you ok?” You whispered against his lips. 

“Very much so.” He replied just as softly. 

“Your heart is racing.” You giggled again and felt his heart actually skip a beat. 

“Because I want to tell you how much you mean to me, but I don’t know how.” He pulled back and looked deep into your eyes. “I’m…I…”

You noticed his hesitance, you knew what he wanted to say but you knew how hard it was for him. You cupped his face and stroked his cheek lovingly. 

“How about, you’re my partner in crime?” You smiled softly at him. “That can be our own little way of saying it without actually saying it.” 

He mused on it for a second, rolling his lip between his teeth before he started to nod.

“I like that.” His hand found its way to the back of your neck. “My partner in crime.”

Using his hold on your neck he pulled you close and kissed you again. Piece by piece your clothes landed on the floor until you were both naked and you were straddling his lap once more. 

You ran your fingers briefly over the uncovered wound on his abdomen, the first time you’d seen his crude stitch work. He didn’t seem to mind, offering you a slightly melancholy smile as you did so. 

This time when you had sex it was so different from the others. Spencer let you set the pace as you rode him and he looked at you with so much love in his eyes you thought you might burst. It was slow and sensual, like you had all the time in the world. 

After you both came he immediately pulled you into his arms and placed tender kisses on your head muttering over and over again, my partner in crime. 

Eventually you both fell asleep like this in your beautiful little cabin, wrapped up in a blissful blanket or adoration. Maybe you’d both finally found what you’d been searching for. Maybe together you’d found a home. 

***

The following morning Spencer woke you up by placing kisses on your neck. The two of you had sex before you’d barely opened your eyes and it was equally as sweet and sensual as it had been last night. 

You showered together in your en-suite and all the while he couldn’t take his eyes off of you and he had a dreamy smile on his lips. 

After you walked into the town hand in hand. The sun was shining but it was bitterly cold, you’d need to invest in some big sweaters or something if Spencer planned on staying here. 

He took you for breakfast at McGill’s. It was a tall, narrow turquoise building with large front windows which let the sun shine through. The two storey building was already packed with townspeople. 

A friendly older man who’s name badge announced him as Fred seated you on one of the last free tables downstairs and took your breakfast orders. Spencer held your hand across the table and still the smile couldn’t be wiped from his face. 

“This is how I pictured it.” He spoke after your coffee was brought over. 

“Pictured what?” You used your free hand to pick up your mug and take a sip. 

The coffee was like liquid heaven as it passed your lips, as if this place couldn’t get any better. It warmed your insides as it made its way down, the way Spencer was looking at you warmed your heart. 

“This. Us.” He shrugged and you swore you saw a light blush creep to his cheeks.

It was a complete one eighty from the Spencer you’d come to know recently. Just yesterday he’d been violently fucking you over the hood of the car and today he like being with a different person. This was the sweet and dorky Spencer Reid you’d worked with at the BAU, the one you’d called your best friend. 

“You thought about us? Like more than friends?” You dared to ask and his blush seemed to deepen.

“Sometimes.” He admitted. “Sometimes I wondered what it could be like. This is pretty close to how I imagined it.” 

“Me too.” You agreed. 

Your food was brought over soon after and you ate in relative silence while shooting each other the occasional smile. After breakfast you stocked up on supplies at Scout’s General Store which from the outside you thought looked more like a school or community hall. 

According to the little hanging sign in the window it was only open Wednesdays to Sundays. It sold most everything the two of you could need for the time being, all your grocery essentials which were locally sourced, it even stocked clothes, gift cards and jewellery. The one thing it didn’t seem to sell was alcohol. 

You filled up a trolley of goods, taking note of the high prices of the artisan goods and wondering if you wouldn’t have been better to drive out of town and find a Walmart. But Spencer didn’t seem phased. 

When you ambled over to the single checkout, the girl in her twenties, with fire engine red hair, didn’t even notice your presence. She was sitting cross legged on the chair behind the counter, a magazine open in her lap which her eyes were trained on. You and Spencer and exchanged a glance and he shrugged and started unloading the groceries onto the counter. 

Her eyes suddenly snapped up, bright green and large, and landed straight on Spencer. You watched the way those eyes grazed him up and down before landing back on his face and her lip quirked into a smile. 

“Well hello there.” She pushed herself to her feet, not even so much as glancing at you. “You must be new in town. I’d surely recognise a face like that.” 

Spencer pulled that tight lipped smile you knew meant he was uncomfortable as she started ringing up the items and he grabbed a few paper bags. 

“Uh yeah, arrived last night.” He nodded. 

“You look like a city boy. What brings you to a place like Crested Butte?” She kept her eyes on him and didn’t even glance down at the groceries.

City boy? You frowned to yourself. He looks like a teacher's assistant. 

“Uh, just, uh…travelling.” He shrugged awkwardly. 

“Travelling, huh?” The girl repeated like she’d never heard of the concept before. “Well welcome to our little mountain paradise. I’m Mary.” 

“Sp…” he started but quickly corrected himself. “Andrew.” 

“And I’m Rose.” You cleared your throat as you spoke. “His wife.” 

Mary glanced up at you finally, scrutinising you a little before looking back at Spencer. 

“Huh.” She shrugged. “Nice to meet you, Andrew.” 

You rolled your eyes and decided not to let it bother you. If you let yourself get annoyed by every woman who was attracted to Spencer you’d spend your whole life frustrated. 

Mary finished ringing up the items and Spencer handed her some cash, all the while looking a little like a deer in headlights. Sure Mary was cute, animated eyes, a little button nose and pouty lips. But she had to be almost half Spencer’s age, you were almost embarrassed for her. 

“I, uh, noticed you didn’t sell any alcohol here?” Spencer took the change from Mary and pocketed it. 

“You’ll have to go to Mountain Spirits just down the road.” She smiled at him and you saw Spencer swallow.

“Th-thanks.” He scooped up the bags but kept staring at the young redhead. 

You rolled your eyes and pushed him by his shoulder. 

“It’s time to leave, honey.” You spat, ushering him towards the door. 

Maybe you should have been worried. Maybe you should have considered that just because Spencer seemed smitten with you now, it was only a few days ago you caught him making out with that blonde in Edwardsville. Would you even have a right to be annoyed? Your rings were simply for show and apart from being partners in crime, the two of you weren’t strictly partners in any other aspect. 

You weren’t his girlfriend, you most certainly weren’t his wife, so what if Spencer dabbled in a little harmless flirting, if that was even what it was. Mary was not a threat, at least you didn’t think so. 

But you didn’t take into account how rapidly Spencer was able to shift between his two personalities, and that just because he seemed like the old Spencer now, it didn’t mean it would last. And you’d find yourself on the receiving end of his darker persona once more, a lot sooner than you would think. 

***

Townie Books, the olive green building just across the street from Scout’s General Store doubled as the Rumours Coffee and Tea House. Spencer had been thrilled to find they had a bookstore in town and couldn’t wait to check it out. 

You’d opted to stay at the cabin, with a nice glass of red wine you’d picked up from Mountain Spirits on the first floor balcony while Spencer strolled back into town. 

He was busy perusing the aisle, running his fingers along book spines and relishing in the smell of old books you rarely found these days. He was a little lost in the displays, and so he didn’t notice he was being watched until he turned from one rack towards another and found a large pair of startling green eyes staring back at him. 

“I pegged you as a book lover.” Mary’s eyes sparkled at him as she leant back against the shelves, looking him up and down. 

“You met me for all of five minutes, how could you have possibly pegged me as a book lover in that time?” He folded his arms across his chest, returning her scrutiny. 

“I’m really good at reading people. No pun intended.” Her lip quirked at her own bad joke. 

Oh sweetheart, you have no idea, he thought to himself. 

He’d profiled her with ease the minute he met her. Oldest of many siblings, which was why she was able to concentrate so hard on her magazine and distance herself from what was going on around her. Daddy issues, that was a given in the way she was clearly interested in a man much older than her. Maybe an abusive father, certainly absent. Mother was emotionally unavailable, probably working long hours to try and make ends meet for all her kids, leaving Mary to pick up the slack and take care of her younger siblings. 

Attention starved, she dyed her hair red in an attempt to get people just to notice her. The tattoo he could see peeking out of the top of her shirt on her collarbone only went to further prove that point. She projected confidence to hide the fact she was deeply insecure and desperately lonely. 

“Huh, you don’t say.” He nodded. 

“So,” she glanced around for a moment or two. “Where’s your wife?” 

“At the cabin.” He tried to hide his smirk. 

“If I had a husband who looked like you, I wouldn’t let him out alone.” 

Spencer felt a stirring in his groin, he couldn’t help it, he was only human and she was beautiful. 

“Duly noted.” He replied, the smirk starting to spread to his lips. “So you seem well informed, what’s there to do around here on a Saturday night?” 

“There’s a surprising amount of bars around here, but my favourite is the Wooden Nickel.” She shrugged, puffing out her chest a little and causing Spencer’s eyes to glance down at her cleavage. 

He swallowed and tried to focus himself. 

“And why is that?” 

“I work there.” She shrugged again. 

“You work there and at the grocery store?”

“Sometimes I help out here too. I’m saving up to get my ass outta here.” 

“Fair enough.” Spencer nodded, trying not to think too much about her ass now she’d put that idea in his head. 

“So I’ll be working tonight, maybe you can come and keep me company?” She took a step forward and reached for him, her long nail grazing the under side of his stubbly chin. “With or without your wife.” 

With a wink sent his way, she was suddenly turning and sauntering away and she knew he was staring at her ass as she went. Spencer fell back against the bookshelves, heart racing against his chest and a semi growing in his pants. 

He owed you so much more than this and he knew it. But he also knew he was weak and he was almost certain, given half the chance he would most defintely fuck that beautiful, young red head into oblivion. 

He watched her go, feeling light headed with arousal, knowing he was playing with fire. It was wrong for him to even be thinking such things and you deserved better than he was giving you. If he kept on like this it was only a matter of time before he lost you for good.

You were his partner in crime, he’d never forgive himself if he pushed you away but pushing you away was sometimes easier than loving you. He needed to make a change, he needed to love you better than this before he ran out of apologises and you walked away forever. 

But fuck if Mary wasn’t so goddamn tantalising. 

Wide awake on the couch,

Don't know what we're fightin' 'bout.

This isn't the first time,

Said some things I didn't mean,

Acting like we're seventeen.

I hate making you cry.

Running out of times to apologize. 

I need to love you better than this,

What am I doin'?

One more slip and I'm gonna lose you,

I got to get my shit together and love you better, yeah.

Better before you change your mind and slam the front door,

Leave me behind,

And I think I'd hate myself forever.

I need to love you better than this,

'Cause there's nothing better than this, no.

Swear to God, I'll get it right,

Won't turn my best into a lie.

I'll pay more attention,

I don't want all of this.

To turn into what could've been,

A chance at redemption.

Runnin' out of times to apologize.

I need to love you better than this,

What am I doin'?

One more slip and I'm gonna lose you,

I got to get my shit together and love you better, yeah.

Better before you change your mind and slam the front door,

Leave me behind,

And I think I'd hate myself forever.

I need to love you better than this, ooh yeah,

'Cause there's nothing better than this, no.

Shadows on the ceiling,

Like I'm upside down and feeling.

Like I don't even know me at all.

Waiting for permission,

To be everything I'm missing,

Isn't the way I planned this at all.

I need to love you better than this,

What am I doin'?

One more slip and I'm gonna lose you,

I got to get my shit together and love you better, yeah.

Better before you change your mind and slam the front door,

Leave me behind,

And I think I'd hate myself forever.

I need to love you better than this, ooh yeah,

'Cause there's nothing better than this.

No, no, no, no,

I wanna love you better than this,

Ooh yeah, ooh, there's nothing better than this, no.

I need to love you better than this.

@muffin-cup @andiebeaword @measure-in-pain @takeyourleap-of-faith @ssa-uglywhore27 @bubblebuttwade @jay-2s-world @thebloomingeagle @daddy-dotcom @dreatine @this-is-doctor-and-its-calm @matthew-gray-gubler-lover @justreadingficsdontmindme @spencer-reid-wonderland