#drink some fucking water instead of juice and not take the train when i can but don't HAVE to because it's fun and lazy

[hexjulia]

saving up is so hard lol i keep having to talk to myself like: did you know the amount of money doesn't grow if you spend it...in fact there will be less of it. 😔

[electronicwitchcollection]

Here’s the third instalment of “Accidental mate” warnings! This does contain smut! hope you enjoy!

Grimmjow walked back into the room a few hours later, unsatisfied with his hunt. It had taken him too long to stumble across a lower hollow, and by that time he had too much pent up frustration. He had ripped into the hollow with manic sadism, relishing in the thrill of the kill. He didn't think to eat before the hollow fizzled away back to hell.

His growling stomach had brought him reluctantly back to the room in time for dinner, though now that his eyes laid you curled up in the bed, he suddenly had a very different hunger. You were breathing softly, lips parted ever so slightly. Curled up on yourself, fingers gently holding the sheet in comfort. You still wore Grimmjows musk, though faded the scent still lingered on your skin, mixing with your own salty sweet smell. It made Grimmjows mouth water.

He didn't know how long he stood there staring at you, a current of arousal flowing over his skin like electrical static. A knock at the door startled him from his watching. Grimmjow snapped into a defensive position, crouching low to the floor, arms spread to block an attack from getting to you venerably sleeping on the bed. His teeth were bared as a feline snarl ripped from his throat.

The warning growl woke you up, shooting up to a sitting position on high alert, eyes darting around wildly looking for the threat. When a tentative knock came from the door, you relaxed, shoulders sagging in relief. Grimmjow hadn't moved from his stance, muscles coiled, ready to spring into action in a split second. A low rumble emitting from his chest.

"Oh for the love of... it's just someone knocking the door Grimmjow." You scolded him gently, shuffling to the edge of the bed to stand up. You walked past Grimmjow, still staring daggers at the door, to open it. The woman who greeted you at the front desk was there, looking awfully uncomfortable at the warning animalistic noises she had heard in response from her knock "don't mind him, he's not fully house trained yet" 

You were rewarded with a strained smile and a petulant huff from behind you at your attempt to lighten the mood. Grimmjow grumbled behind you, muttering a few choice words you'd rather ignore. Instead you smile to the woman "how can we help?"

"I just came to hand you tonight's menu" she said offering you two cards and two pencils "please mark what you would like and how much of each, when you're finished, place it outside your door. Dinner will be brought to your room in little more than an hour " 

"oh fantastic, thank you so much" you say glancing down at the menu. The woman gave a low bow, sliding close the door and getting as far away from the pissed of arrancar as she could

"You hungry?" You call to Grimmjow pacing along the patio door like a caged animal. You sat heavily at the table, hungry eyes grazing over your options for some much needed food

"starving"

"come see what you want then" you slide his menu to the other side of the table, not looking up from your own. It all looked so good. You read through the menu twice, taking in all your options so you could decide, not wanting to tick off too many things. Pencil in hand, you first filled out the drinks option, choosing a bottle of house sake and lychee juice. About to decide on your meal, you notice Grimmjow staring at his menu as though it was about to bite him "something wrong?"

"I don't know what the fuck this says" he grumbled, turning the menu upside down and sneering at the little black markings. You couldn't believe your density at that moment. Grimmjow couldn't read. Of course he couldn't, he had lost all of his human memories at his death. He was a hollow, a hunter. There was no signs or books in hueco mundo, no one to teach him how to read, nor have the need to learn. Your eyes softened as you watched him inquisitively inspect the menu, it was innocent, almost child like

"here pass it back, I'll fill it out for you" you held out a hand expectantly, relieved when he placed it in your hand and not throw another fit. He sat opposite, long legs stretched under the table to lay either side of your own crossed ones "what do you like?" 

"meat"  the blunt answer nearly made you chuckle, silly question. Of course the predator liked meat. You weren't sure how much human food he has had the chance to eat. There were probably hundreds of new flavours and textures for him to try. A few veggies wouldn't hurt him either

"How about I just select a few different ones for us to try? We can lay them all on the table and try a little of each?"  You took Grimmjows shrug as a yes, quickly marking off a few different rice, noodle and vegetable dishes. You chose one or two of each meat dish you could find, then doubling your drink order and adding water. You gathered up the cards and pencils, leaving them just outside your room door.

She said it'll be done in over an hour, plenty of time to get clean and have a well deserved soak in the bath. You stretch your arms above your head as you walked to the draws, earlier shown to be where the towels were kept. You pulled out two, laying one on top of the dresser for Grimmjow.

You rummaged through your back, grabbing the smaller toiletries bag and laying out some sleep clothes on the mattress "Im going to clean up before dinner. You should do the same, that shack wasn't the cleanest" 

Grimmjow just grunted at your comment, a strange feeling fluttering about in his stomach at the idea of you cleaning off his scent. Stepping outside, closing the sliding door behind you, you set down your belongings near the shower before stripping off your clothing. The sky was beginning to darken, air beginning to chill at the retreat of the sun. Confident there wasn't anyone around to see you naked, you walk into the open shower, washing quickly.

The water wasn't as hot as you would've liked, but it got you clean. You washed your hair, familiar fruity smell lingering on your damp strands. The pressure did wonders on your back, falling heavily into your muscles beat away the tension. When a stronger gust of wind blew across your body, skin erupting in goosebumps, you decided to retreat quickly to the hot bubbling bath.

You gingerly stepped in, hissing at the difference of temperature. You were about to slowly ease yourself in, accommodate your body to the temperature when the sliding door flung open suddenly, Grimmjow striding out completely naked

"Grimmjow!" You squeak at him, quickly sitting in the bath, covering yourself with the bubbles. Grimmjow cocked an eyebrow at your girly exclamation, striding across the small patio to stand under the spray of the shower "what the hell are you doing?"

"washing"

"No you dolt". You pinched the bridge of your nose, cheeks flushing a brilliant red. You tried not to watch as Grimmjow rubbed his rough hands all over his body, thick droplets of water trickling down his tanned, sculptured torso... "I'm naked!" 

"So am I"  he shrugged, leaning his head back, letting the spray hit him in the face. Your mouth dried at the sight, his wet hair lost it's pushed back style, falling limply down the sides of his face. It softened his features somewhat, it was different, not bad, just different. He was still infuriating though

"Have you ever heard of privacy? Men and women don't tend to bathe together" Honestly, did you have to teach him everything? Damn animal. Grimmjow chuckled, deep and dirtily, as he abandoned the shower to climb into the bath opposite you, despite your protests. He leaned back against the side, wide arm span draping over the edge.

"You're so weird, been walking around with my seed in ya all day but cry when I see your tits" even with his head leaned back you could see the wrath inducing grin plastered on his face. Smug bastard

"Thats different" you try to defend yourself. A futile attempt, there was no point in arguing with Grimmjow about your values and customs. He either didn't know them or didn't care about them. Grimmjow was amused by your attitude towards nakedness, it was bizarre. Before Aizen made him dress in clothes, he was always naked. It was natural, free. He hated the confines of clothes, they were tight and restrictive. "Just because we slept together once doesn't mean you get to see me naked any time you damn well please "

"Woman, will you shut up" Grimmjow muttered darkly, sinking further into the soothing bubbling water. It smelt strange, a tangy chemical smell that didn't smell safe to drink. But the hot water was soothing, the strong bubbles beat against his muscles, working out the knots in his muscles. He didn't miss the way you said "once" either. The notion made him frown for some reason.

You frowned at his rude dismissal, grumbling under your breath about uncouth animals who should be locked up in a cage. You didn't feel as relaxed in the tub as you had intended, not with Grimmjow spreading his legs and taking up most of the room. The hot water did sooth you though, you had hardly any discomfort left lingering. Grimmjow looked better too. A lot less wound up than he did earlier. Didn't have that crazed, wounded animal look he had worn.

Head hung back, you could see how thick his neck was, Adam's apple protruding proudly. His shoulders were wide, defined, arms spread wide across the lip of the bath, even relaxed his biceps bulged. Speaking of bulges... no. You couldn't go there, not again. He was good looking. You couldn't deny that. If only he didn't act like a rabid animal half time, he could possibly make someone very happy. Just not you. You were too different. Wanted different things.

Your stomach growling loudly reminded you how hungry you were. Grimmjows head snapped up at the loud rumble, giving you a disbelieving look. You flip him the middle finger, deadpan look on your face as he grinned manically at you. You roll your eyes, about to stand when you stopped yourself, painfully aware of how naked you were.

Grimmjow had no such qualms standing upright in one fluid motion, flaccid penis eye level as water trickled down over his abs. Even soft it was a sight to behold. Thick and long, it commanded attention. Grimmjow either didn't notice the blush rushing your face or chose to ignore it. He stepped from the tub, shaking his body to rid himself of the extra water before walking back into the room.

You let out a slow trembling breath when he was out of sight, closing your eyes to clear your mind. No. Not again. No dick was worth putting up with that maniac, not even one as magnificent as that one. Slipping from the tub as quick as you could, you hurriedly got yourself wrapped up in your towel, waiting to give Grimmjow enough time to get dressed before you headed back in

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

"Itadakimasu!" You proclaim happily, hungrily looking at the feast laid out on the table between you. Sweet and salty sauce covered different meats. Boiled, fried and battered, the tender chunks of meat gave off the most mouthwatering smell. The veggies were vibrant and green, seasoned generously and tossed in silky soy sauce. You eagerly picked up your chopsticks, handing the spare pair over to Grimmjow before selecting a particularly succulent looking piece of pork and popping it in your mouth

Juice burst in your mouth with a sweet, Smokey taste covering your tongue. You moaned appreciatively, wriggling happily on your plump pillow. You reached over for your lychee juice, chewing slowed as you watched Grimmjow fumble with his chopsticks, awkwardly holding them at odd angles, unable to get them to pinch

"Have you used chopsticks before?" You asked after you swallowed, sipping happily on your fruity drink. Grimmjow frowned at his chopsticks, fumbling with the wooden instruments. Getting them somewhat secure in his fingers he reached for the same pork you had eaten, growling when the chopsticks crossed uncoordinatedly and the meat fell back onto the plate with a splat in the sauce

"hat wearing pervert showed me once"  the description made you chuckle, two men immediately springing to mind. The fact that captan Kyoraku tended to prefer a liquid diet consisting of his favourite sake, you were leaning more towards Urahara who always had a dirty innuendo on the tip of his tongue. It made you wonder what awful nickname he gave to you, so far you had been graced with "woman" and "bitch", but you assumed Grimmjow was more creative than that. 

"Here," you lean over, adjusting the hold he had on them, "keep this bottom one still, use the top to open and close" You watched as he attempted again, securely gripping the meat, lifting up towards his mouth where it slipped free, rolling a sauce stripe down his exposed torso. Grimmjow growled, snapping the chopsticks in half and chucking them across the room. Impossible bastard

He glared at you, daring you to say something. Rolling your eyes you set down your own chopsticks, choosing instead to use your fingers to sample the next dish, some salty green beans. They crunched loudly in your mouth as you held his eye contact. His lip curled up at the corners before digging in, shovelling food into his mouth with much less grace than you had.

You had spent the following twenty minutes in near silence, save from explaining what certain dishes were and encouraging Grimmjow to try some of the veggies. The salty beans he enjoyed. The broccoli he did not. You laughed as he noisily spat it back out, thankfully landing in one of the already empty bowls

"that's fucking disgusting". He grimaced, reaching for the sake bottle and drinking hurriedly to get rid of the taste. You popped a piece of broccoli in your mouth, one that hasn't already been chewed and spat back out,enjoying the slight crunch of the steamed vegetable,

"don't be a baby, broccoli is good for you"

"nothing that tastes like that can be good for you"  He glared venomously at the offending green. Pushing it further away on the table for good measure. You were surprised at how much of the food had been eaten, Grimmjow had one hell of an appetite. You began clearing away the empty dishes, stacking them neatly on the trey ready to be left outside your door and Grimmjow scavenged the last few morsels of meat.

Belly warm and full of food, you glanced longingly at the bed. You felt great, no longer aching thanks to the wonderful hot tub outside, comfortable in your sleep clothes, fuzzy due to the sake. As Grimmjow obscenely sucked off the remaining juices from his fingers, you finish adding them empty bowls to the tray before leaving it just outside your door. You stretch languidly as you made your way to the bed

"Im going to call it a night"  you alert the Espada around a yawn, falling heavily into the mattress and wrapping the blanket around you snugly. The room suddenly plunged into darkness, the lantern that was once illuminating the space blown out with a puff of breath. You couldn't hear where Grimmjow was in the room, his silent feet made no noise on the wooden flooring. As your eyes begin to adjust in the dark, sliver of moonlight penetrating the dark though the small window, you could just about make out his dark silhouette pacing around the room, watching him til you drifted off to sleep.

Grimmjow outed the light, about ready to join you on the bed when your naked form flashed through his memory. The image of you naked, wet from your shower about to plunge into the tubs depths had him suddenly stopping in the middle of the room. The bath and the food had distracted him enough to ignore the undercurrent of his rutting season. Now that he was satisfied, his hunger began creeping back in, the darkness of night heightening his instincts. It was infuriating.

Grimmjow had managed to fight against his instincts his whole life, resisting his urges and taking control of his more primal demands. He was strong, he was powerful, he was in control. The one night he had given in to those urges, the tightly wrapped leash he had on his animalistic urges snapped, giving free reign to the insatiable beast, hungry for his mate.

Mate. That word flickered through his thoughts again. Grimmjow had no mate. Didn't want a mate, he was a lone wolf, depending on no one but himself. He especially wouldn't pick a mate as weak as you, a shinigami no less. Yet his body vibrated with longing need, muscles bunching, ready to spring out and capture you. You sighed softly, moving around in your sleep. It was a delicate sound, weak, sparking protective instincts he wasn't aware he possessed. It disgusted him. 

Grimmjow growled, low and dangerous. All these new thoughts and feelings were pissing him off. He had decided bitterly that he would just sleep outside, away from you and your bewitching pheromones. After tomorrow, he wouldn't have to see you again. Can get back to what was important, training and fighting. He still owed Ichigo a beating. As his fingers wrapped around the smooth handle of the sliding door, you let out a small whimper, rolling over to your back.

His pupils dilated, elongating to feline slits as his head snapped to your direction. Rational thought clouded by his most primal of instincts, interwoven with rutting season's unrelenting increase of testosterone. His cock hardened in the influx of endorphins, aching to be buried in your tight wet heat. Silently he stalked you, inching closer to your warm smell. He didn't like it as much as when it was fused with his own musk, but it was sweet, tasty.

Lightly he jumped on the bed, landing in a crouch on the balls of his feet, hands spread wide over the soft nest, weight hardly displacing the spongy material. Skin burning, Grimmjow pulled off his jacket, letting it fall where it liked to the floor below. His eyes had no problem seeing in the dark, sharp and focused they studied your face. Relaxed, smooth skin. Your pink lips were parted with soft even breaths. Unaware, unknowing of the presence that loomed over you, hungry, dangerous.

Grimmjow leaned over you, pushing back your hair to expose the angry bite mark left by his own teeth. The sight had his length twitching in the confines of his trousers, engorged and ready to mount. He could feel your jugular vein pulsate in the air, throbbing with blood, hidden beneath your delicate skin as he lowered his head, inhaling deeply at your throat. A steady stream of purr like rumbles echoed in his chest as he licked a hot wet stripe at the side of your neck, tasting the salty bite.

You moaned, tilting your head away from the sensation distrusting your sleep, little crease appearing between your brows. Grimmjow pulled the blanket from you, pushing it to the side. You stir as Grimmjow parts your thighs, manoeuvring to kneel between the gap created. Your eyes flickered open, confused and dazed under the heavy weight of sleep. Uncoordinated limbs push futilely against his hands on your thighs, attempting to brush him off while you gather your bearings

"Grimmjow? What are you..?" Voice thick with sleep, you mumble groggily trying to blink away the sleep. Grimmjow ignored you, dipping his head to smell your clothed cunt, fingers digging under your sleep dress to grip hold of the elasticated waist band off your panties. You jumped back into conciseness, slamming your thighs together, kneeing him harshly in the jaw.

Grimmjow growled, seizing your wrists as you lash out at him, angrily attempting to punch him into sense "what the fuck are you doing?!"  You seething spit the words through clenched teeth. This was beyond acceptable. You knew he didn't always understand what was acceptable to humans, and that he was struggling with his rutting season, but this was too much. "You can't just..!" 

Grimmjow slammed your hands above your head, towering over you menacingly as he pinned you to the bed. Your breath got caught in your throat, pinned in this prerogative position, solid wall of muscle dominating you to submission. "Want you" his lust filled drawl washed over your face, intense eyes trapping you in their hypnotic stare. "Grimmjow" you whisper his name, mind swimming in contradictory emotions.

"Want you" he growled deeper, rolling his hips into you, thick erection prodding against your centre, leaving no room for doubt exactly what he wanted you for. You were angry at his brutish attempt of seduction, rudely awakening you from your slumber. Offended at the way he man handled you, attempting to use your body to stifle his erotic urges. You had offered to help him the previous night, you didn't think you had to elaborate that invitation didn't extend for his whole rutting season.

And yet you felt a gush of liquid surge through your pussy, slick arousal dampening your folds at the feeling of his girth pressing into you. Your body flushed with heat, tingling with excited apprehension of feeling him in you again, bringing you to the most painful pleasure you've ever endured. The strong hold he had on your wrists, the masculine, husky tone in which he confessed his desire for you lit a flame of desperation in your stomach.

Your body was betraying your indignant thoughts, coming alive in his hold. You had gone months without the thrill of sex, but one taste and your resolve crumbled, body reacting to his uncouth stimulus, craving intimacy, the burning drag of being so completely filled, the blinding pleasure as you orgasmed.

You saw a shimmer of uncertainty flash on his face as the silence prolonged between you. He began to shiver, seemingly clinging to the control he had. His forehead leaned forward to touch your own, shakily panting over your face "say yes" his eyes screwed shut in concentration, restraint rapidly reaching the edge of his control "say yes" he pleaded desperately, hands tightening on your wrists, hips slowly rolling, dragging his cock against your centre.

You knew in that moment that If you refused, he would rip himself from you. He would leave the inn, create as much space between you as he physically could, so not to do something to hurt you. "Yes". You whisper, nodding your head softly under the weight of his own.

Grimmjow sighed in relief, giving you a look you couldn't decipher. He nuzzled almost tenderly in the side of your neck, lavishing the skin with little kitten licks. He stroked his cheek against your own, firmly smoothing his skin over your cheek, your neck. He was scent marking you, desperate attempt to get you smelling as strongly as his own scent and for as long as possible. It wasn't detectable by shinigami, but any hollow nearby would immediately pick up the scent for what it was. A warning, possessively claiming, and to braver, or less intelligent beings, a challenge.

The alpha in Grimmjow basked in the scent, in the claim. You were his, completely his. "Mine" Grimmjow muttered into your neck, inhaling deeply his own scent left on your skin. His hands released your wrists, dragging them down the length of your arms held in place by the weight of his look. His large hands smoothed their way over your covered breasts, down your stomach to grip hold of the hem of your covering. Your hands shot down, holding his own hands gently

Grimmjow snapped his head up to look you in the face, warning glaze filling his eyes. You squeezed his hands reassuringly, prying them off your gown to roll it up your body yourself. You didn't want Grimmjow to rip apart every article of clothing you owned. He watched predatorily, hungrily taking in every new inch of skin you revealed. Pulling it over your head, you offer a small smile, praise for his patience.

Your thumbs hooked into your panties, lifting your ass to slide them down your legs, dropping them to the floor safe away from his grasp just incase temptation became to strong. They were your last clean pair after all. With your cunt uncovered the smell of your arousal was overpowering, filling the space between you. Grimmjow could taste it in the air, mouth salivating at the memory.

Grimmjow lowered himself between your legs, anxious to lap at your juices. His nose brushed though the manicured hair sat atop your pussy, musky scent making his head swim deliriously. He nipped at your mound, teasing his sharp canines over your flesh. He had enough hold on his consciousness to resist sinking them in, leaving another mark claiming you as his own.

While it was extremely tempting, he knew how bitchy you were and he didn't want you to change your mind now that he had you open and willing. He started running his tongue through your folds, the first taste of your sweet nectar exploding over his taste buds. Your inner walls were silky, his tongue glided across the hot flesh effortlessly.

Grimmjow had always had exceptional senses. Sight, smell and hearing were perfectly honed to hunt, giving him an advantage in battle. When in his rutting season however, they heightened drastically, everything sharpening and focusing to near perfect clarity. Grimmjow could feel every tiny hair on your body, every minuscule vibration you gave. He could hear your blood pumping through your veins, your lungs pulling in deep, desperate breaths.

Your soft moans ignited something within him, the wet squelch of his tongue as it delved in your depths pulling more of that addicting juice from you, sinfully hardened his aching cock. He could smell the salty sweat appearing on your body, the heady, sweet tang staining his lips. Every sense was hyper focused on you, every move, every smell, every taste. Eating you out was quickly becoming something he enjoyed doing. He had never wasted time with this before, hollows and arrancars had no need for preparation.

Grimmjow was a quick learner. For never having heard about foreplay before, he was doing a pretty damn good job at pulling lustful moans from your lips. His tongue delved in deep, wriggling the appendage over all he could reach, rolling over the sensitive pleasure spots that had you panting. Steadily building you up closer to the blissful release you so desperately craved.

His fingers dug painfully into the soft flesh of your thighs, keeping them open obscenely wide, spreading your lower lips to accommodate his face pushing into you. Everything about Grimmjow was rough, from the way he talked and fought to the way he mated. It was all brutal, efficient. No easing you into it or soft touches. The way your body was writhing at his transgressions, you couldn't say you minded all that much.

Grimmjow's cock protested at being neglected, throbbing constantly at the lack of stimulation. His cock head was leaking onto the bed beneath him, a steady stream of his salty essence searching for a bitch to impregnate. Grimmjow grunted into your Cunt, angrily thrusting his tongue into you. His instincts were demanding he mount you, rip through your tight walls and slather your insides with his seed.

His inner beast was was getting impatient, battling to take control of Grimmjows consciousness and rut into his mate. Grimmjow moved his attention from your core to that little bump that had you practically screaming the last time. He shoved two of his thick fingers into your channel, roughly punching them into you. He could feel your walls quivering, steadily stretching around his intrusion, opening up ready for his cock.

A pleasure filled scream ripped from your mouth, you quickly stifled the noise with your hand, biting onto your curled fingers. Your hips bucked mindlessly into him, chasing the painful pleasure. A steady stream of moans and strained curses, muffled around your fingers drowned out the sinfully lewd noises being forced from your dripping pussy.

You could feel the band about to snap. All the tension building up, pushing you to brink ready to cave in in one glorious explosion of relief. Grimmjow growled into your mound, furious at the cries he earned being smothered. He wanted to hear them, deserved to have them. He moved his head to your thigh, sinking his teeth into your flesh while simultaneously using his free hand to wrench away the fingers dampening your vocalisation.

The burst of hot pain pushed you over the edge, band snapping painfully as it thrusted you into an intense orgasm. Hand held tightly at your side, you moan unrestricted into the room, hoarse and raw as pleasure consumed you. You sprayed your release over Grimmjows furious fingers, clamping down tightly over his digits. Grimmjow ripped them from you, shoving them into his mouth to taste the delicacy coating his fingers.

He rumbled deep in his chest, powerful and dominating as he sucked his fingers clean, watching with predatory eyes as you flopped weightless into the mattress, gasping for breath. Your eyes were screwed shut, chest heaving with every pull of oxygen into your starved lungs. Your legs twitched periodically around him as they slumped to the side.

Once your taste had fully left his fingers, Grimmjow gripped your hips, lifting your ass to rest on his folded legs and thrust into you in one fluid motion. Your back arched painfully at the burning breach, gasp caught in your throat choking you. It wasn't as painful as the night before, but still burned through your walls with the overwhelming stretch needed to accommodate his girth.

Grimmjow growled at the vice like grip encasing his cock, squeezing hotly around his sensitive length. Holding your hips in a bruising grip, Grimmjow pulled you onto his cock as he thrusted into you. His eyes were fixed to where you joined, watching as your cunt swallowed his length with every snap of his hips. It was hot and wet, impossibly tight, squeezing around him with rippling clenches

Grimmjow rocked into you with such bruising force that you struggled to take a deep breath. You gasped weakly around uncontrollable moans, hands twisting up the pillow beneath your head in an attempt to anchor you to earth. You've never experienced such consuming pleasure before you had met Grimmjow. He forced you to feel every powerful inch of his cock, the rest of the world dimming into the background

You we're somewhat aware of the fact you weren't alone, sharing the full in with multiple occupants. When Grimmjow increased his speed, rutting into you in a crazed frenzy, you had just enough thought to turn your head and bite into the pillow, muffling your screams. When Grimmjow caught the noise of your muffled cries, his head snapped up, enraged glint in his eyes. He wanted to hear you, wanted to hear his mate scream out at getting fucked raw on his cock.

With a demonic growl, Grimmjow moved his hands from your hips to your waist, yanking you upright to sit on his lap. He glared at you, chest heaving with indignant frustration. "Louder" he growled into your face, accentuating his point with a rough thrust up. You choked on your gasp, new position had him breaching you further. Eyes rolled into the back of your head as you clung onto his wide shoulders, nails digging in little half Cresent indents into his skin

"there's other people here, Grimmjow" you whisper, trying to explain your reluctance in a way that wouldn't send him into a fit of rage. "I don't want to.." you were cut of mid sentence by another rapid roll of his hips

"don't fucking care. Scream. My. Name". Your head lolled forward onto his shoulder, groaning loudly at every brutal thrust he used to strengthen his command. Your mouth hung open, drool dripping from your parted lips, unable to make a sound at his movements. It was too much, too full, too everything. The head of his cock rutted against your cervix with every snap of his hips. His nails dug into your ass as he pushed you into every stroke. He was pushing you to your absolute limit, body not made to accustom such an intimidating appendage.

Grimmjow set a punishing pace, using the string muscles in his thighs to easily plow into you. Soft whimpers and incoherent words of praise were muttered into his sweat soaked skin, moans steadily increasing in pitch and volume. "Grimmjow" the way you moaned his name, tongue lavishly drawing out every syllable, had him going crazy with desire "too much, too big". Your soft complaints did nothing but light a proud fire in his chest

"You can take it"  he darkly told you, licking a wet stripe over your cheek. You didn't know that you could. The knot started forming in the middle of Grimmjows cock, bulging from his length and adding extra texture against your walls. It was almost unbearable, the ridged band rolling against your beaten Cunt. Grimmjows thrusts became short and fast, no longer able to pull out from your abused pussy. The added stimulus made you soar, rapidly reaching your final, explosive orgasm.

"GRIMMJOW" you scream out his name, lost in the crashing wave of euphoria as you came hard. You bit into his shoulder, arms wrapped under his arms to claw at his back, nails leaving deep, angry red marks that had Grimmjow groaning. The feeling of your cunt as you came was indescribable. Gripping his cock in unrelenting waves that rippled over his length.

"Yessss" Grimmjow hissed, finally getting the reaction he had been craving. He held your sagging body tightly to his chest, frenziedly rutting into you with erratic, jerky movements, chasing his own need. Your teeth left him, panting wetly over the stinging mark, hands weakly sliding down his back as your body was sapped of the last of your energy. You rocked with his motions, whining softly at his hurried pace.

"Mine" Grimmjow whispered, nudging your face with his nose, getting you to sleepily turn to face him, Grimmjow stared into your eyes as he came, knot snapping painfully with a fiery rush of his seed shooting from him, painting your walls in thick ropes of his ejaculate. His hips slowly rocked into you, milking every last drop from his cock as he grunted sedated. As he came down from his high, body shaking with the exertion he exhibited.

He felt you slump in his arms, passing out from the overwhelming encounter. Grimmjow held you close, rubbing his scent over your cheek and hair, lightly purring in contentment. When the pull of sleep threatened to blanket him in it's inky darkness , Grimmmjow carefully manoeuvred you both on the bed, taking precautions not to jostle his cock in you too much and risk causing damage. He laid on his back, with you draping over him lifelessly, even breathing washing over his neck.

Grimmjow reached over for the blanket, snagging the corner and dragging it over. He managed to throw it over you, too tried to try arrange it to fully cover you both, leaving his feet sticking out in the open. His arms snuck under the blanket, wrapping them around you, hugging you to his chest as he sighed contently. The steady puffs of air from your breathing, ghosting over the bite mark you left on his shoulder guided him to sleep, happily falling victim to slumber while breathing in his scent mixed with your own.

[double--cross-d]

Did some Nerdluck/Monstar incorrect quotes

This is gonna be a train wreck, but fuck it! We ball!

Pound: Tell them to eat shit, Bang.

Bang: Tell them yourself.

Pound: Eat shit, asshole. Fall off your horse.

…

Bupkus: Would you like something to drink? *it opens the fridge* We have water, milk, juice, spiders, Dr. Pepper-

Pound: Spiders?

Bupkus: Spiders it is then.

Pound: No, that wasn’t-

*But it was already pouring her a brimming glass of spiders…*

…

Pound: I’m telling you, my team is competent.

Nawt, rushing in: Pound! Blanko tried to make pasta in the coffee pot and now everything's broken!

…

Pound: They... Well, I wouldn't call it inheritance per se. What do you call it when you kill someone and get their stuff?

Bang: Um, murder???

Nawt: Adventuring!

Bupkus: Tuesday.

…

Blanko: How would you like your coffee?

Bang: As dark and as bitter as my soul.

Blanko, shouting to someone behind the counter: I need one vanilla latte with extra cream and sugar!

…

Blanko: So... who's the big spoon and who's the little spoon?

Bupkus: We're chopsticks!

Blanko: Well... that's cute!

Blanko: Does that mean you two snuggle together perfectly?

Pound: No, it means that if you take the other away, the only thing the other is good for is stabbing.

…

Blanko: I am an expert at identifying birds.

Nawt: Okay, what about those ones flying over there?

Blanko: Yeah, they're all birds.

…

Nawt: When life gives you lemonades, make lemons! Life will be all like "whaAttT?"

Pound: Life lessons that schools can't teach you.

…

Bupkus: We’re playing Scrabble. It’s a nightmare.

Pound: Scrabble? Scrabble’s great.

Bupkus: Not when you’re playing with Nawt, it’s not. She put words like “ephemeral” and I put “dog.”

…

Bugs, pretending to be a priest: ....Thou shalt not marry each other, for thy art both sinful...

Bang: I just wanna fucking marry Nawt!!

…

*At a bank teller window*

Bupkus, in a bad Italian accent: I'd like-a to make-a deposit!

Mr Swackhammer: HEY BUDDY, WAIT, I REMEMBER YOU!

Bupkus: *Frantically pours marinara sauce into the vacuum tube*

Mr Swackhammer: GOD FUCKING DAMMIT, IT'S IT AGAIN!

…

Nawt: Your future self is talking shit about you right now.

Blanko: Jokes on them. I'll ruin their fucking life.

…

Bupkus: Are we tall enough to play basketball though?

Pound: Are you calling us short?

Bupkus: I'm calling us vertically challenged.

…

(How Pound came out)

Pound: Count me in!

Bupkus: Who the hell are you?!

Pound: Oh, you know my sibling. He worked at the in-park restaurant.

Bupkus: Oh yeah, Zilch! How's he been doing?

Pound: Oh yeah, not too good. He's been dead for the past month.

Bang: What the hell, and he didn't tell us?

…

Blanko: The greatest trick the devil ever played was getting me banned from an all you can eat pizza buffet.

Bang: Why’d you get banned?

Blanko: Touched the rat.

Bang: … What rat?

Blanko: Chunky Cheese.

…

Bang, Entering Pound's room: Nawt did it again.

Pound: Peace disturbance?

Bang: What no-

Pound: Arson..?

Bang: NO, JESUS CHRIST, HOW MANY-

Pound: uh....Attempted murder?

Bang: NO, SHE ATE ALL THE GOOD ICE CREAM, WHAT THE FU-

…

Bang: Yeah, I don’t like people.

Blanko: Oh, well now that’s not fair Bang. Have you met all of them?

Bang: I’ve met enough of them. People. What a bunch of bastards!

…

Nawt: We’re going to defeat you with the power of friendship.

Blanko: We’re not friends.

Nawt, holding an axe: Then we’re going to defeat you with the power of incredible violence.

…

Bupkus: Hey guys! I drew everyone's soul!

Bang: Why is Nawt's a monster?

Pound: Bupkus, you forgot Bang's, there's only an empty space.

Bupkus, proudly: Exactly!

…

Blanko: What if Cinderella was a baking slave instead of a cleaning slave, and her name was Mozzarella?

Pound: Don't ever speak to me again.

…

Bupkus: Is stabbing someone immoral?

Nawt: I mean, not if they consent to it.

Pound: Depends on who you're stabbing.

Blanko: YES??!!?

…

Bang: Dracula had it right, sleep all day, live alone in a castle, and explode into bats to get out of all social situations.

…

Blanko: I hate to tell you this, but one of you was adopted.

Pound & Nawt:

Pound: Only one?

…

Blanko: I’ve made a spreadsheet of all the crime in Brooklyn.

Blanko: There’s so much crime in New York, no one should live here.

…

Bupkus, pointing to the wall: What color is this?

Nawt: Gray.

Pound: Grey.

Bupkus, turning to Blanko: Now tell them what color you think it is.

Blanko: …Dark white.

…

Bang, making a cup of tea: Yeah, get into that leaf juice, you sexy, sexy bee sauce.

Pound: Hey, do you take constructive criticism?

Bang: I absolutely fucking do not.

…

Pound: Want to hear a hard riddle?

Bupkus: Sure.

Pound: A rooster laid an egg on a roof. Which way did it roll?

Bupkus: ...down?

Pound: N-

Blanko: Who cares about which way it rolled, it would be scrambled eggs by then.

Pound:

Pound: No, it's that roosters don't lay eggs... Jesus Christ…

…

Police: You’re under arrest for trying to carry four people on a single motorcycle.

Pound, with Blanko, Bupkus, and Bang behind her: Wait, what do you mean FOUR?!

Police: Yes…four.

Bang: Oh, my God, no, this is bad, this is so bad!

Police: Wha-

Bupkus: NAWT FUCKING FELL OFF!

…

Pound: Where are your parents?

Bang: What are parents?

Pound: That’s just about the saddest thing I ever heard get said.

…

Bupkus: Ah yes, the joy of hanging out with Nawt. You look away for 5 seconds to make sure something is set up correctly, and he bites the tip of a marker off.

…

Pound: Could you be anymore annoying?

Blanko: Yes.

…

Nawt: Pound and I are so close we even share a toothbrush.

Pound: I'm sorry, We what?

…

*Everyone is playing a board game together*

Blanko: I will put 'A' down to make 'A'.

Bupkus: I will add onto your 'A' to make 'AT'.

Bang: I will add onto your 'AT' to make 'RAT'.

Nawt: I will add onto your 'RAT' to make 'BIOSTRATIGRAPHIC'.

Pound: *flips the board*

…

Bupkus: Blanko is not allowed to violate the dress code, even on 'casual' Fridays.

Bupkus: No matter how many times you say please, Blanko. They won't put any of the hats you've been asking about into the dress code.

…

Bang: Ask me anything. Go ahead, I'll give you a straight answer.

Nawt: Why are we so awesome?

Bang: That's the best fucking question anybody's ever asked.

…

Blanko: Can I offer you a nice stick in this trying time?

…

Pound: The best person I know is myself.

…

Blanko: Hey Pound?

Pound: Yeah?

Blanko: What's your favorite color of the alphabet? True or false?

Pound:

Pound: ...What.

…

Bupkus: I'm against crime, and I'm not ashamed to admit it.

…

Nawt: Why aren’t you sleeping?

Bang: I’m too busy plotting murder to sleep, Nawt.

Nawt:

Bang: ...The nightmares.

Nawt: *wrapping her arms around Bang* Awwww, sweetie-

…

Bang, looking at a dead phone: How do we bring this thing back to life? Magic? Live sacrifice? I know a guy in town-

…

Blanko: That’s the longest worm I’ve ever seen.

Bang: That’s a snake.

…

Blanko: Is the pink panther a lion?

Bupkus: Say that again but slower.

Blanko: I don’t get it.

Bupkus: He’s a PANTHER.

Blanko: Is that a type of lion?

Bupkus: No, it’s a fucking panther.

Blanko: *googles panther* They aren’t pink?

Bupkus: AND LIONS ARE?!

…

Pound: Nawt, If the thought of something makes you giggle for longer than 15 seconds, you're not allowed to do it.

…

Bupkus: How petty can you get?

Pound: I once edited a Wikipedia article to win an argument I was wrong about.

…

Bang: Does anyone know how to relax? Asking for a friend.

…

Bupkus: I'm so tired of this life. I want to be a roomba. I want knives taped to me. And I want to be set loose.

…

Nawt: You don't think I can fight because of my height!

Bupkus: I don't think you can fight because you're in a wedding dress. For what it's worth, I don't think Pound could fight in that dress either.

Pound: Perhaps not. But I would make a radiant bride.

…

Bupkus: *Kicks the door open, looking panicked*

Bang: What did you do?!

Bupkus: NOBODY DIED!

Bang: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!

…

Blanko: Quitting! It's like trying, but easier.

…

Pound: I am your king, long may I reign!

Bang: Well I didn’t vote for you!

Pound: You don’t vote for kings.

Bang: Well how’d you become king then?

Pound: Bupkus of the Lake, its arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Pound, was to carry Excalibur. That is why I am your king.

Bang: …Listen. Strange people lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.

…

Pound: I have to say, I'm a little embarrassed for you.

Blanko: This is a sports-related injury. It makes me look cool!

Pound: Tripping over a basketball on your way to the locker room is not cool.

…

Pound: I committed all 7 deadly sins in 30 minutes.

Nawt: Wow, I've gotta hear this.

Pound: I was angry and envious of my neighbor so I lazily seduced his wife and ate all his groceries and didn't share.

Nawt: You forgot about pride.

Pound: No, I'm pretty proud of this.

…

Bupkus: How did you even get in here?

Nawt: Pound's window! Or, as I like to call it, "Nawt's door"!

Pound: I'm closing the window.

…

Nawt: Vegetable oil is made from vegetables, coconut oil is made from coconuts, so BABY OIL-

Blanko: CAN'T WE JUST HAVE A NICE FAMILY DINNER FOR ONCE?!

…

Pound: Bang is forbidden from monologuing.

…

Pound: I still don’t have a New Year’s resolution.

Bang: You could lose a few pounds.

Nawt: You could be less lazy.

Blanko: Don’t be such a bitch.

Pound: Okay DAMN, SHIT.

…

Pound: I have locked Mr Swackhammer in a cage designed by his own art. Oh, he has been well and truly hoisted by his own petard.

Bupkus: Could you put it another way? I didn’t understand a word of that.

Pound: I’m blackmailing him.

Bupkus: Oh, happy days!

…

Bang: Do you love Bupkus?

Pound: Yeah, I do.

Bang: Blanko! I told you I knew it! You owe me 100 bucks!

Blanko: We all love Bupkus. You should've asked if she was IN love with it.

Pound: I thought that was implied.

Blanko: ...

Bang: ...

Pound, looking straight at Blanko: Congrats Bang, you just won 100 bucks.

…

Pound: I printed up a bunch of fake safety inspection certificates. Go slap one on anything that looks like a lawsuit.

Bang: Pound, is that legal?

Pound: When the cops aren’t around, anything’s legal!

…

*Nawt drunkenly wanders around the house and Bang is drunkenly giggling*

Pound, completely sober: *sighs* Well, looks like it's just me and you against the world, Bupkus.

Bupkus, going to their room: Nope, just you. *shuts door*

…

Bang: Let’s write Pound a friendly note, shall we? Dear... Incompetent... Dumbass…

…

Pound: "What are you into?" is such a broad question, like do I reply with a TV series or choking?

…

Bupkus: I’m terrible at expressing myself.

Nawt: Don’t worry, actions speak louder than words!

Bupkus: Yes, but my actions are also bad.

…

Blanko: Some of us are still ‘it’ from a childhood game of tag.

Pound: Way to just fuck me up on a Tuesday.

…

Bupkus: Are pigeons drones?

Bang: What? No, I'm trying to sleep.

Bupkus: Think about it. How come you've never seen a baby pigeon? And why do you never actually see a pigeon nest? Because they're DRONES!

Bang: *Crying* Please let me sleep…

…

Blanko, near tears: Please, Bang, I don’t speak meme! I don't know what a 'yeet' is!

…

Bupkus: Wow, that was quick thinking on that phony sacrifice stuff.

Bang: Oh, that was all real.

Bupkus: Wait, you were trying to help them kill us?!

Bang: If I’m gonna be sacrificed, I’m gonna do it right.

…

Pound: That was a joke. Say ha.

Blanko: Ha.

Pound: Now do it again.

Blanko: Ha.

Pound: Congratulations, you are officially the life of the party.

…

Blanko: Yo! I heard you like reptiles, got any fun facts?

Bang: If a crocodile eats your dad, they become your new dad.

…

Bupkus: Happy Throwback Thursday! Here’s a throwback to when Nawt ate an entire tube of my lipstick.

Nawt, whining: But why would it be cherry-flavored if you can’t eat it?!

…

Bupkus: What’s your favorite color?

Pound: Stop asking stupid questions. Ask me something mature.

Bupkus: How many moles of sodium bicarbonate are needed to neutralize 0.8ml of sulfuric acid at STP?

Pound: …My favorite color is green.

…

Bupkus: Well, needless to say. Uh-oh Spaghetti-os.

[r6shippingdelivery]

Headcannos of the way the FBI acts when they or the other gets sick? Do you think they care for each other?

Ohhh, good old fashioned headcanon asks for a CTU, I missed those! Thanks, nonnie :D

I'm gonna count Pulse as if he was still on the FBI instead of NH, cause honestly, fuck that. Let's see how they act when they're sick and when others are sick:

-Ash: she will still push herself to work and train as normally, self-medicating in secret unless it gets worse and she has no other option than go see Doc. In the event she gets a few days off, she'll keep doing paperwork and trying to keep abreast of what's going on.

When a teammate is sick, Ash will politely not bring attention to the issue unless the person in questions mentions it. She might offer advil if she sees them struggling, and suggest that maybe taking the day off and resting would be for the best.

- Castle: he doesn't make much of a fuss, but know when to rest and take it easy rather than make himself sick for longer trying to force his body to keep up. Keeps a rather upbeat mood unless he's really feverish, then he mostly sleeps it away.

When others are sick, Castle will cook for them! Warm soups, a coffee of tea or his mom's remedy for a sore throat (hot water with freshly squeezed lemon juice and honey). Has no problems gently bullying the most stubborn people (like Ash) into taking a break. And have something hot and nice to drink/eat.

- Thermite: He'll try to sleep it off, which works most of the time for small colds, but the time he caught the flu, he was constantly complaining about it and how bored he was.

When he has to deal with someone who is sick, he'll be all suggestions like "have you tried this thing yet? what about this? oh you have to taste Mile's chicken soup, I'll as him to make some!". Well intentioned, but he can be a little overwheliming at times.

- Pulse: He gets all miserable and looks like death warmed over even with the mildest of colds. He won't admit it but he loves being coddled when he's sick and really appreciates Thermite's suggestions.

He's kinda awkward when trying to comfort sick people, he tries to imitate what his mom did when he was ill, but he feels like he can't pull it off as well. Although he's really good at noticing when someone isn't feeling their best and is always the first one to approach them and ask if they're alright.

[donut-cloud]

Lifesteal incorrect quotes

Rek: How was the honeymoon? Branzy: Clown got drunk and tried to destroy our marriage certificate. Branzy: He said, “good luck trying to return me without the receipt”. Branzy: I love him.

Zam: Leo was banned from the buffet place, so we had to go out of town to get food.

Leo: Well, they shouldn’t say “all you can eat” if they don’t mean it.

Zam: Leo, you ate a chair.

Ashswag: You know you've made it when you see your picture everywhere you go.

Rekrap: Those are wanted posters

Ash: You're pretty bad at this.

Red: Thank you!

Ash: Wha- That wasn't a compliment!

Red: I've decided to focus on the positive aspects of life now!

Red: So you just called me pretty!

Ash: Wth

Parrot, to Rek: There are two types of people in this group. Observe.

Parrot: The floor is lava!

Vortex: *quickly helps Ro, Zam and Woogie onto the counter*

Mapicc: *pushes Spoke off the sofa*

Parrot: See?

Subz: If we die, I'm going to get Vitalasy’s ghost to teach my ghost how to play music, so I can annoy the hell out of your ghost.

Clutch: I'll just hire Oasis's ghost to kick your ghost's ass.

Oasis: My ghost won't associate with your ghost

Zam, texting: Leo, there’s a spider on the outside of the bathroom door. Can you get rid of it?

Zam, texting: Leo?

Leo, texting: Leo is dead. You’re next.

Leo, texting: love, The Spider.

Branzy: Can I have some water?

Vitalasy: *starts chugging his water bottle* Vitalasy: *chokes from drinking too fast*

Vitalasy: *spills water all over himself* Vitalasy, coughing: I don't have any water for people that betray purple duo >:(

Mapicc: We’re playing Scrabble. It’s a nightmare.

Rek: Scrabble? Scrabble’s great.

Mapicc: Not when you’re playing with Ro, it’s not. They put words like “carpe diem” and I put “dog.

Zam: Why are you like this??

Ash: I used too much "No More Tears" shampoo as a kid and I haven't felt a single emotion since

Spoke: What if the 'g' in 'gif' is silent?

Clown: Get the fuck out of my house.

Spoke: What gif I don't want to?

Clown: Fuck You

Zam: What if I pour coffee in my cereal instead of milk?

Don, walking by and taking the coffee pot: And what if you don't?

Zam: That's okay we still have orange juice!

Spepticle: It’s so nice to feel wanted, you know?

Branzy loading a crossbow: NOT BY THE LAW!!

Ashswag: I am not out of control! I'm a law abiding citizen!

Reddoons: Really? Name one law.

Ashswag: Don't kill people?

Reddoons: That's on me. I set the bar too low

Ashswag: *appear*

Reddoons: Ah, we meet again, my old arch enemies.

PrinceZam:…

PrinceZam: I thought I was your arch enemy?

Reddoons: I have a life outside of you, Zam

Hairdresser: How would you like your hair cut?

Clown: Preferably with scissors, but a sword could be badass.

Branzy: Sweet dog you got there. Police: Yes, this is our new drug sniffing dog. Branzy: Still training huh? Police: What do you mean? Branzy: Branzy: Never mind.

Branzy: Welcome to my very first vlog, in which I try different hair products! Branzy: *sprays hairspray in their mouth* Branzy: Well, right off the bat I can tell you this one is not very good.

Branzy: I would do anything for money. *later* Branzy, covered in blood: THE STATEMENT STILL STANDS!

Spoke: So according to the cease and desist order I got, apparently you can’t ‘legally’ be a lawyer if your license is ‘cut out of a cereal box’.

*the TV is freaking out* Branzy: Don’t worry, you have to treat an electronic like you treat a patient on life support. *unplugs the TV, then plugs it back in again. nothing changes* Branzy: Yeah, that didn’t work with my grandma either.

Mappic: So I can either do something dumb that could very well get me injured or I can listen to Ro and not do the thing, Mappic: Well there’s a clear right answer here. Mappic: *proceeds to throw five packs of mentos into a barrel full of diet coke

Spoke: I lost my fish, can you help me find it? Parrot, cooking the fish: What? I couldn't hear you, please speak up.

Subz: I trusted you! Vitalasy: Why

Subz: What is wrong with you? Vitalasy: Loaded question. Elaborate.

Vitalasy: How does one turn their emotions off? Subz: Okay, so first go to settings. Subz: I'm a fucking idiot, I thought that said emojis at first. Vitalasy: No, I'm still willing to try this, go ahead. I'm at settings, what do I do next?

Vitalasy : I am literally evil incarnate. Vitalasy : I’m not actually, I just enjoy being evil. Vitalasy : Which I think actually makes it even more evil because I’m making a conscious effort.

Subz: We’re all in this together. If one of us falls, we all fall. Nobody is expendable on this team. Vitalasy : Sounds fake but ok.

Clown walking into the kitchen and seeing all their limes peeled: Branzy, I love you but, what the h-e-double FUCK. Branzy, sipping coffee happily: I love you too :)

Zam: Hey, I see those leaves, where are you from? Don: Canada. Zam: AAYYYE, I KNEW IT! ME TOO! Parrot: Did you just identify a country by looking at its leaves

McClutch: Ah, Hello again. We really need to stop meeting like this. Vitalasy : Maybe we would, if you would sTOP BREAKING INTO MY FUCKING HOUSE!!!

Vitalasy : Ashswag, we're hungry! Branzy: Ashswag! What's for dinner? Subz: We're hungry, Ashswag! Ashswag, frying a bottle of ketchup over the stove: *screams*

Clown, confused and exasperated: Branzy, how do you plan on telling a bear to go vegan? Branzy: Politely

Reddoons, very tired: Can I sleep in your bed? Ashswag : *half asleep* Red, this is a queen-sized bed. That means it’s for *gestures vaguely to himself* the Queen.

Reddoons: Hey, can you do me a favor? Ashswag: Sorry, I have to go do literally anything other than this. Reddoons: You don’t even have a legitimate reason? Ashswag: Oh, no, I do. Reddoons: Well, what is it? Ashswag: You see, I simply don’t give a fuck.

Parrot, smugly, after security arrives to escort Branzy and Ashswag out: So, do you wanna walk out of here or do you wanna be carried out? Branzy, in defeat: Let’s go. Ashswag: Wait. Branzy: What? Ashswag: I’d kinda like to be carried out...

Vitalasy : Adults are the most insanely stupid people I have the displeasure of interacting with. Branzy, referring to themself and Subz: Even us? Vitalasy : Especially you guys. Subz: Branzy: Subz: Petition to kick Vitalasy out so he stops insulting us. Branzy: Seconded.

Branzy: I just found out that humans are capable of fitting a light bulb into their mouth with ease but can’t take it out without shattering it, and now I have to physically restrain myself from putting a light bulb in my mouth

Vitalasy : FUCK THE CHAIR. PARDON ME FOR MAKING MYSELF COMFORTABLE DURING A SINCERE HEART TO HEART DISCUSSION WITH A DEAR FRIEND IN NEED! Vitalasy : BUT THE TIME HAS COME FOR ME TO CEASE STRADDLING THIS DEEPLY OFFENSIVE PIECE OF FURNITURE! AWAY WITH YE, FOUR LEGGED TEMPTRESS! DISTRACT US NO MORE WITH THE MOST BASIC AND UTILITARIAN FORM OF COMFORT YOU SUPPLY! Ashswag: Vitalasy just threw a tantrum about a chair. Ashswag: I just won Vitalasy Tantrum Bingo.

Branzy: Come on, Ashswag! How any times do I have to apologize? Ashswag: Once! Branzy: ...No.

Vitalasy : So we're gathered here today for a very special reason and I think you'll all agree with me here. Vitalasy : And if you don't well then fuck you. Vitalasy : I'm looking at you, Subz, you jealous mop.

Reddoons: When I see  attractive people like Ashswag, I just laugh because I know if we lived in the Aztec culture, they'd be sacrificed for their beauty. Vitalasy : I mean, that's one way to cope with not being attractive. McClutch: Works for me.

Branzy: I warned you. Branzy: I'm perfect.

Ashswag: I'd make fun of your height but there isn't enough to make fun of.

Vitalasy : I just wanna be called cute 21/7. Branzy: Why no 24/7? Vitalasy : Snack breaks.

Branzy: So I got this amazing plan! Rekrap : We fail almost every time you say that. Branzy: Well this is the same! But with a chicken involved.

McClutch: I wouldn’t put it in those words exactly. Branzy: Why not? McClutch: Because I don't know what they mean.

McClutch, as a child, reading their school assignment out loud: I love my library because... McClutch, mouthing words while writing: I love reading, fuck you.

Vitalasy: I hate you. Branzy: Well, according to this picture I drew of us holding hands, that is untrue.

Clown: I love you. Branzy: I love you too. I've waited so long to hear you say that. *Clown and Branzy kiss passionately* Rekrap, to Chief : You owe me 20 dollars.

Vitalasy : I'm usually that person who has no idea what's going on.

*out grocery shopping* Subz: *takes a free sample twice* Subz: Robbery and Fraud. I am a Rebel.

Subz: You... you saved me. You're not a beast at all. YOU'RE A HERO, AN UGLY UGLY UGLY HERO! Ashswag: Call me ugly again, and maybe I will eat you.

Ashswag: I am an expert at identifying birds. Reddoons: Okay, what about those ones flying over there? Ashswag: Yeah, they're all birds.

Ashswag: Ugh, there’s always that weak bitch in the group who isn’t down with murder. Ashswag: *glares at Spepticle* Spepticle: Well, sorry I have morals!

Vitalasy , seeing a banana on the car seat: What the FUCK?? Vitalasy , buckling the banana up: Fucking buckle UP, it’s the LAW!

Clown: Branzy, can you help me? All of my clothes keep disappearing for some reason. Branzy, wearing a hoodie that's 5 times bigger than their size: Spooky.

Branzy: Protip is you do not feel good about yourself after eating tomato sauce on iceberg lettuce. Vitalasy : What's wrong with you?? Branzy: I literally JUST said I ate tomato sauce on iceberg lettuce?? Pay attention. McClutch: No, they mean other than that. Branzy: Ohhhhhh. Branzy: I haven't slept in 4 days.

Vitalasy : What's worse than a heartbreak? McClutch: Stepping on a cat's tail and not being able to explain that you're sorry.

Vitalasy: I have been tricked, I have been backstabbed, and I have quite possibly been bamboozled.

Parrot: I'm not mean. Name one mean thing I’ve ever done. Spoke : When we were younger, you convinced me eggs weren't real. Parrot: They're not. Spoke : Haha, very funny. Parrot: I'm serious. Didn't you hear? Spoke: No... what happened? Parrot: ...Why would you fall for this again-

Reddoons : I intend to stay pissed at you forever. Reddoons: Even if I seem helpful. Ashswag : Then you're in luck. Ashswag: Because you don't.

McClutch: What happened to Ashswag? Subz: They died. McClutch: They what? Subz: They died, but they’re okay. McClutch: …Can you please clarify? Ashswag: Clarification is for the weak.

Branzy: *pitches an idea* Chief, impressed: Huh, there might be something here! Rekrap, under their breath: Yeah, a lawsuit.

Rekrap: Isn’t a bit dangerous? Branzy: Rek, please. We’ve in a lot of unexpected predicaments before and we always escape unhurt. Rekrap: ... Branzy: Okay, we sometimes escape unhurt. Rekrap: ... Branzy: Alright, we escaped unhurt once... Then we hurt ourselves in the way home.

[frogtanii]

℗ home

kenma x fem!reader (poker face ending)

series masterlist

♡´･ᴗ･`♡

wc. 2.9k (ahaha)

warnings. NOT PROOFREAD, liberal use of italics, soft soft, kenma in denial, allusions to marriage, bokuto and kuroo meddling, drinking, declarations of love, SMUT!!! (is marked off!), sub!kenma, handjob + blowjob, slightly insecure!kenma, meiko mentions, enthusiastic consent, one (1) katamari reference, vocal!kenma, uhh

an. good golly gee i HATE ending the endings m so bad at it AND the smut is lil weirder to skip??? like it’s not impossible or anything but it’s not as smooth as atsumu’s, m rlly sorry :((((( but i rlly hope y’all enjoy hehe don’t forget to feed me shawties :3

the loud obnoxious pop music blasting in the crowded bar around kenma made him want to fling himself into the moon at the nearest opportunity.

okay, so that was a little dramatic but the fact still stood.

he was crammed into a tiny booth with kuroo, bokuto, and akaashi, the former brushing up against him with every little movement, making kenma bristle in discomfort.

why the hell did i agree to this, kenma thought while sipping on his cranberry juice. he’d never enjoyed drinking, his true thoughts and feelings coming out way too easily once intoxicated. it was so infuriating being a lightweight, especially when everyone around him was disgustingly drunk.

“are you having fun kenma?” bokuto half yelled, half slurred into his ear from across the table. kenma slouched further into the booth’s stained cushions in response, his lack of answer not bothering bokuto in the slightest.

with the boisterous man’s attention successfully diverted by akaashi, kenma allowed his eyes to wander out over the dance floor but he wasn’t really paying them any mind. instead, his mind was occupied with none other than you.

it shouldn’t have been that surprising considering all the time he’d been spending with you recently. it had been a few months since the hyper house had disbanded and while you were enjoying your time living with your best friends, they had way too much sex. like an abnormal amount.

it had gotten to the point where you were having to abscond from the apartment four times a week because they were just so loud.

at first you had found refuge in the 24 hour cafe a few blocks from your place but falling asleep at a hard wood table only to have to walk home at 2am alone was terrible for your peace of mind (and your back).

you’d started complaining about it at your weekly animal crossing hang outs with kenma and he’d offered the brilliant solution of you coming over to his place when makki and mattsun were otherwise... occupied.

you were shocked at his suggestion and aptly so. it was no news that kenma absolutely hated hosting and having people over, especially since he was one of the few former members that were able to afford their own place straight out the gate.

when you’d expressed this, all he had said was, you’re different.

that wasn’t enough for you, evidenced by your once again nightly stays at the cafe but when you had to run home because someone was following you, you begrudgingly agreed to kenma’s offer and started sleeping at his house multiple times a week.

it was a bit to get used to at first, seeing you first thing in the morning with messy hair and sleep-swollen eyes. you were beautiful jarring. but, as time passed, he got used to your presence, making your drink of choice and sliding him his tea in the morning, sending him a soft smile that had him running to the bathroom to hide his blush.

it was all... strangely domestic.

even now, the thought of you in your threadbare sleep shirt, standing in his kitchen while cooking breakfast sent a wave of heat across his face, spreading up to the tips of his ears.

“what are you thinking about that’s got you so red?” kuroo teased, pulling the glass out of kenma’s hands, laughing at his annoying glare. he hoped he could ignore the question as he so often did, but apparently he wasn’t so lucky.

bokuto cackled in his seat before calling out your name, sending a chill of fear down kenma’s spine. “bet he’s thinkin about her! about how he wants to smooch her and maybe more,” he waggled his eyebrows, “i’m just saying!”

the rest of the table let out good natured laughs but kenma was preoccupied with replaying what bokuto had said.

i mean, sure he thought you were pretty, but anyone with eyes would agree! and yeah, maybe spending time with you was the highlight of his week, but it wasn’t his fault you were so genuinely enjoyable to be around. and of course, sometimes when it was late at night, his mind would wander to you and how it would feel to wake up beside you instead of across the hall from you and—

fuck. he liked you. a lot.

then, as if you somehow knew exactly what was on his mind (a terrifying thought to entertain), his phone buzzed in his hoodie pocket. he pulled it out quickly to check it and he hated how his heart picked up in his chest at the sight of your contact name.

[sussy baka <3]: wya shawty 🤨 u have no food in ur fridge n m hungry seen 13:20

[player ew]: s boys night seen 13:22

[sussy baka <3]: 😐

[sussy baka <3]: are u having fun seen 13:25

[player ew]: ... seen 13:28

[sussy baka <3]: yeah that’s what i thought

[sussy baka <3]: bring home some ramen <3 seen 13:31

home. god, if he didn’t like the sound of that coming from you. it took kenma no time at all to start packing up his things, ignoring the knowing looks on his friends faces as he tossed down a couple of bills for his drink and left to go home, where you were.

after stopping at the convenient store, he headed to his apartment building, shopping bag full of ramen in one hand and heart in the other.

no matter what he did, he couldn’t get bokuto’s annoying voice out of his head, telling him that he liked you. and now that he knew it was true? he was kind of spiraling.

the ding of the elevator managed to somehow shake him out of his thoughts, at least for him to get to his front door, but once it was open, all coherent brain activity immediately dissolved.

you were sitting on his couch in the living room, bundled up in one of his mario blankets and wearing one of his hoodies as you watched some animal documentary raptly, sheer disgust written all over your face.

kenma gulped.

he managed to work up the courage to actually enter his apartment, kicking off his shoes by the door and beelining towards the kitchen, not missing your excited call of his name and wide grin.

biting down any other unchecked feelings, he quickly set to work boiling the water for the ramen and then... stood there. boiling water would take a while and he knew he couldn’t avoid you forever but he really, really didn’t want to go sit by you with all these emotions sitting right on his chest.

“kenma, they’re gonna eat the seal!” you yelled from the couch, waving him over frantically. how was he supposed to say no to brutal animal murder on tv? kenma chuckled dryly at his own joke as he made his way over to where you sat, plopping himself on the side of the couch furthest away from you.

he told himself he just didn’t want to bug you when he had to go check the water but he knew it was a lie. he was running from his feelings, from anything that could ruin this.

you shot him a concerned look which he caught out of the corner of his eye but he kept his head firmly forward, unwilling to look at you if he didn’t have to. “kenma, what’s wrong? was boys night that bad?” you asked gently, and fuck if that didn’t make him feel worse.

kenma just shook his head, still choosing not to face you. you let out a long, arduous sigh before scooting across the couch and pressing yourself to his side, pulling his head down to rest on your chest while taking one of his hands into your own.

what the fuck. what the fuck?!1!?1!!?1!

you were so soft and warm and your arms around him made him feel things which was exactly what he was trying to avoid but then you actually started to speak and oh shit it got worse.

“kenma,” you started, running your hands through his deep brown locks, “you know you can talk to me about anything right?”

of course he knew that because this was you and you were so kind and considerate and badass and cool and that was all precisely why he couldn’t talk to you about everything, especially when it came to his emperor of the cosmos sized feelings for you.

but, instead of saying any of that, he allowed you to continue, his body relaxing into your hold against his will.

“i bother you because i care about you and i worry, you know. i know you’re strong and you can take care of yourself but i can’t help it...” if kenma was really listening, he would’ve heard the shakiness in your voice, the apprehension in your words but he didn’t. “i can’t help it because i like you, kenma.”

you... what?

kenma pushed himself off of you to look you in the face, to find any sign that you’re pranking him or just being cruel but he couldn’t find any.

still, he couldn’t take you at your word, after all who would like someone like him?

“say it again,” his voice comes just under a whisper, his words stilted and unsure but he needs to know, he needs to believe you. he wants to believe you.

“i like you.” you don’t use any big, flowery words, nor do you try and justify why you like him and still, somehow it’s enough. kenma’s eyes filled with tears as they’re trained on you but your eyes were occupied elsewhere.

staring at his lips.

“can i kiss you?” you asked softly, not pressuring or forceful but like that was truly just on your mind and you had to ask it. kenma wasn’t sure how he was supposed to resist when you asked him like that. “please,” was his response, already breathy and absolutely wrecked.

you obliged.

•••smut begin•••

surging forward, you pressed your mouth to his, soft lips meeting chapped ones as you moved them insistently against his own. kenma let out an embarrassing whine at the contact, his hands balling into fists by his sides.

yours, on the other hand, wandered, tracing over the hills and valleys of his chest and back before landing right under the hem of his hoodie. you pulled back, laughing quietly at the way he so eagerly chased your lips while halting him with a hand to his sternum.

“can i take this off?” kenma nodded enthusiastically before he could stop himself and you let out another soft huff as you busied yourself with getting him naked.

he tried to help you where he could, but he was ultimately resigned to bask in your movements, in your control as you manhandled him out of every article of clothing he was wearing until he was as naked as the day he was born.

immediately, the insecurities took hold of him, his mouth opening to stutter out an apology for how he looked. meiko’s voice played in his ears, reminding him he wasn’t what the girls went for being too skinny, too sensitive, too loud.

kenma moved to pick his clothes back up to cover himself before retreating to his room where he could die of shame but your firm hand kept him where he sat.

“you’re beautiful,” you said, like you were saying the sky was blue or the grass was green — as an irrefutable fact. your brows were furrowed at first but the expression melted away to show a softer one, one full of love, admiration, and... lust.

a high-pitched whimper left his lips at your gaze, his cock throbbing against his thigh. you grinned and moved back in to kiss him, your hand moving to his throat to hold him in place, his adam’s apple bobbing against your palm.

your other, unoccupied, hand traveled down his body to rub over a nipple, his back arching into your touch as his breath hitched against your mouth. you let out a hum of approval, continuing your ministrations of pinching and plucking the hard bud before moving further down to take a hold of his cock.

kenma broke away from you, a choked wail erupting from his chest as he bucked up into your grip. “can i make you feel good? can i show you how beautiful you are?” you asked earnestly, your thumb gently caressing his jaw.

“please, please, please,” he begged. under normal circumstances, he would be embarrassed at how easily he’d been folding for you, but it was so much easier to just submit to your capable and willing hands.

“good boy,” you tacked on mindlessly, your blown eyes and kiss-swollen lips only adding to your debauched look. internally, kenma preened at the fact that he was responsible for you looking like that, so feral like you just wanted to eat him up.

which was apparently exactly what you wanted to do, evidenced by you sliding onto your knees in front of him, pressing kisses and sucking marks into his pale thighs.

kenma’s hips stuttered beneath you as he watched you get closer and closer to his throbbing member, the tip already bright red and leaking precum.

suddenly, your eyes shot up to his, pinning him with an intense stare as you slowly, slowly brought him to your mouth, the wet heat enveloping the head before you closed your lips around him and sucked.

holy fucking shit.

his reaction was instantaneous. his eyes rolled back into his head, his hips bucked up into your mouth, and a filthy moan escaped from him as you started to get into a nice rhythm sucking his cock.

kenma could barely keep himself quiet, especially when you began toying with his balls, the feeling adding to the coil tightening in his gut.

you pulled all the way off of him before sucking him down the hilt, his mouth opening in a silent scream as you choked around his length, the pleasure that your throat was bringing while you pulsed around him was otherworldly.

he was going to die, he resigned. he was going to die by the biggest orgasm he’d ever had with his penis in your mouth and he was going to love every second of it.

a sharp tap to his inner thigh brought him back down to earth, this bleary eyes trying to focus on your face and once they did, he was taken aback. your eyes held such fondness, such love that he could hardly take it.

kenma couldn’t hold back his thoughts, especially under the intensity of your gaze, his mouth opening to gasp out, “i love you, shit, i love you.”

you pulled off him with a pop but you didn’t stop stroking him, your hand picking up the pace to the point that his thighs were quivering with the strength of his oncoming orgasm.

“say it again,” you threw his words right back at him and if he’d been in his right mind, he might’ve laughed but since he was drowning in pleasure, he immediately followed your orders, groaning out those three words over and over until he was hoarse.

you seemed to enjoy it, so much so that you took the palm of your hand and toyed with the sensitive tip of his cock, sending him right over the edge.

his vision whited out completely as he came with a loud cry of your name, tears trailing from his lashline from the sheer severity of his orgasm, one hand grasped tightly in yours.

•••smut over•••

as kenma came down from his high, he watched you brush his hair from his face before pressing a kiss to his hairline.

“you know, i love you too,” you stated, pulling him up to rest his spent body against your own. he scoffed while playing with your hand, toying with your bare ring finger in a way that you knew was deliberate.

“i figured, you just sucked my dick.” you protested loudly, smacking him gently on the arm when he snickered at your reaction. after your laughter died down, he rested his head back over your heart, listening to the steady beat thrumming beneath his ear.

your hands tangled back into his hair and he felt himself drifting off into dreamland when a loud meow startled him awake again. kyabia (or caviar) stared up at him with unblinking feline eyes, her tail swishing silently against the floor. “oh god, my cat is seeing me naked,” he gasped in horror, your chest heaving against his ear as you cackled.

kyabia quickly got bored and scampered off to who knows where and by that time, kenma was ready to knock back out. you were still laughing though and since you were his human pillow, that just wouldn’t do.

shoving you down on the couch, he buried his head in your chest and muttered a blunt, “sleep,” ignoring the way your giggle made a smile spread across his cheeks.

obviously, you could tell if your own matching grin was anything to go by but you let it be, instead choosing to wrap your arms around him and hold him tighter to your body, like you were trying to pour all your love into the embrace.

kenma only hoped that you would also “let it be” when you caught him ring shopping on his phone just a few weeks later.

it was only a matter of time. why delay when he loved you and you loved him? he knew he couldn’t wait until he could officially call you his.

after all, kozume yn had a nice ring to it.

Oh, home, let me come home

Home is wherever I'm with you

Oh, home, let me come home

Home is wherever I'm with you

taglist - if your name is in bold, i cannot tag you

@boosyboo9206 • @geektastic84 • @elianetsantana • @trashy-simp • @infinitebells • @6mattsun9 • @suhkusa • @katsulovee • @kotarosbabygirl • @fucktheworlddude • @insomniacwreck • @calumsfringe • @saltylettuce • @chai-blu • @al3x1ss • @hawksyoongi • @jooleuuh • @loubells • @kissungjae • @liberhoe • @tetsurocore • @animeoverdosee • @duhsies • @saiKishaircLip • @afire24 • @premiyagi • @kit-kat428 • @doctorspencereid • @daphnxy • @kyomihann • @maer-333 • @sinoflust19 • @peteunderoos • @peachiikichu • @iidanotlida • @yongboxerrr • @kac-chowsballs • @tanakaslastbraincell • @memorableminds • @risjime • @starry-magicshop • @sugavwara • @smuttyanimeslut • @kiwibirbs-library • @haijkk • @airybnb • @crybabygumi • @iwaisa • @decaffinatedtealover • @notameera • @kawaii-angelanne • @rintarovibes • @urlocalsimp • @keiarma • @shrimpypenis

the rest of the tags will be in the replies!!

[yaomomvs]

TAKE OUR HAND

seijoh x manager!reader

in which aoba johsai vbc just wants you to take their hand, just as the many times they have reached for yours when they needed it

pls i’m sorry i just wrote this for comfort, in having a terrible week and so, i just really need my seijoh boys to comfort me even if it’s just in my head and just so you know, and as i’ve been trying to convince myself, things always get better

tuesday, [15:56 pm]

“nice kill yahaba senpai!” kindaichi congratulates his upperclassman.

his voice makes you react, it scared you. still holding your pen and the notebook you always carry around even on normal practice days, your hand threatens you in the most scary way possible.

fuck no, just... breathe.

you are quick to leave aside the notes, and so, you look around to the boys, who just after the coach’s whistle sounds they are quick to approach your spot.

you take the water bottles as quickly as you can.

“oh y/n-san, i know we are irresistible but you can’t just slack off admiring us!” makki teases you laughing.

“if our dear manager is admiring someone is obviously me” oikawa says, before taking a sip of his bottle, slightly making you blush even more.

“i don’t think she likes idiots who still watch youtube conspiracy videos at 3am”

“iwa!”

“weren’t you the one with a secret obsession for romance manga, iwaizumi?” it’s mattsun time to expose his friend. iwai mi doesn’t hesitate and he runs directly to matsukawa, while kunimi brings out his phone to start recording the chaos in the gym.

you don’t listen.

your head hurts, and then, you once again feel this weird thing in you stomach. you have been feeling like this for the past week, and you try to ignore it . but sometimes, you just want the world to stop.

you can’-

“y/n senpai?” watari calls your name, and you notice his furrowed brows looking at you, worried. you blink and correct your posture. you had just zooned out. “is everything ok?”

“ah yes watari kun!” you force your self to sound relaxed because you feel the sudden gaze of the entire team “i was just thinking in a smart way to insult oikawa, but i’m worried he won’t understand tho”

“hey! you said i was your favorite”

you fake laugh once again assuring everyone that you were just fine. the day goes on, and somehow is becomes more difficult to just stay down not worrying about anything.

and they notice.

you don’t walk home with the guys today. instead you run to the bus not before excusing yourself with an ‘urgent family thing’

“just please don’t let makki eat so much ramen today!” you giggle as you run to the bus “i’m not in the mood to dealing with diarrea!”

“that was a secret between us darling!” the pink haired guy screams cheeks blushing.

and maybe you were just too distracted, but before you face them away some of them notice how quick your smile fades.

“you know guys” yahaba is quick to say “call me crazy but, why did she lie?”

—

wednesday, [10:22 am]

when was the last time you actually enjoyed school? not practice, but school itself. seeing numbers everyday in the board that you don’t understand is frustrating. your throat hurts, there’s has been a not there since the begging of the day.

swallow it, y/n, dammit

you decided to take this class, don’t blame the world, blame yourself. isn’t it supposed to be simple? why isn’t it being simple? is that... 

"Square root of 57 is equal to Xo, miss" 

"alright!" 

it is not like it’s a race, you want to say. why was the teacher obsessed with speed?, it’s unfair. your time is not the same as that of others. 

you drop the pencil and you recline in your chair, why couldn’t you do operations and analysis as fast as they could? you take a look around and the eyes of others look frightening. you see ambition, you see security, you see admiration.

the bell rings and you just want to run, and well in a way you end up doing it. leaving your homeroom, you tell your friends that for today you want to be alone, the halls of aoba johsai are big, for your fortune or misfortune. you go to the vending machine and when your drink falls, the minimum noise makes you startle, lately it’s like that, small noises or actions affect you way too much.

and iwaizumi notices it.

you don’t make a single move, it’s just the cold drink resting on your hands. and before iwaizumi could stop mattsun, he was already putting his hand on your shoulder.

“y/n!”

the orange juice spills and once again fear takes hold of you.

you see them both, you’re not stupid and you know hajime stares at you weirdly, and now mattsun, you hide your fear it a bit worse than yesterday, but you do anyways.

"someday, Matsukawa-san, YOU’RE GOING TO KILL ME! and what will you do without me?" you try to say cheerful, wanting to take away the suspicion, for a moment it works.

"flunk history, that leads me to..." 

"no, sweeheart, i won’t give you my homework" 

you walk and both guys follow you, one faster than another, very naive of the situation. "I begin to believe you hate me," says Mattsun, as the three sit on a bench near the school cafeteria casually encountering kunimi who quickly joins you, patting the folds of your skirt as you sit down, you rest on the table and admire his needy expression and as the tantrum of mattsun grows.

minutes go by, your chest pain grows, but somehow you know how to let it go.

 with your hands supporting your face, lunch passes between you and kunimi, you try to talk, you really try. 

but still, your eyes just glow, and kunimi notices how it’s not the glow you always have.

—

thursday [12:03]

your head is spinning, you can feel the cold sweat. will this be the time? why do you feel so small? why can’t you say it?

it’s familiar, you recognize this feeling, an ocean, you’re floating, you know you can swim, but, you’re in the middle of nowhere, you look down. Out of nowhere the intimidating depth of the ocean is beneath you. And then, you sink. You feel like you’re drowning, you feel like you’re fighting the tide, but you just can’t do it.

i just need...

no, it’s not time yet, it’s still training. the boys... you’re the one who should take care of them, you’re the one who has to be be fine. they had no time to lose, they had a goal and for the moment that was the most important thing.

On that bench, your gaze is absent, you know it is so.

and through the window that overlooks your classroom, oikawa notices it too

“y/n...” he mumbled.

of course he’d noticed. at first it was not so clear, but now he remembers.

when kindaichi pinned your dark circles to him, while admiring you by fitting volleyballs in a way not of your own.

makki watches oikawa from your side, you don’t even know the pink-haired guy is there, unaware that he’s sitting next to you. but he notices. he’s been noticing for days that your eyes are threatening to close in the middle of class.

hanamaki catches your attention and instantly that mask you’ve been wearing for weeks appears again.

"hanamaki, i’m fine"

it doesn’t convince them. they both look out the window and nod.

oikawa notices, and god, he wished he had no reason to.

—

friday [14:00 pm]

breathe.

please just... breathe.

you’re fed up. the feeling of guilt and discomfort is still there, can’t you be calm? people don’t need to know, but why do you want to shout it?

the dressing room is alone, the girls from the soccer team are out and it’s your only chance.

the team needs you, hold on a little.

your footsteps are heard in the hallway once again, a symphony you’re tired of listening to.

your chest hurts, your heart is aching, but you just need a little more. hands are shaking, the cold in your body, you need to stop.

you have to make them stop.

but when you walk into the gym, even with your eyes down, all you feel is warm. and it’s because, the boys were standing, aligned begging for you.

no, they beg for your sake.

and everything stops.

one hand from him on your neck, and one hand around your shoulders.

because oikawa, without warning, now has you in his arms.

and then, only then, you break.

tears don’t take long to come out, along with desperate sobs. your legs fail and out of nowhere, you and oikawa are on your knees.

with an alarmed look, the whole club runs towards both, surrounding you as sensibly as possible.

"i’m sorry, i’m sorry I’M SORRY" is heard from you, between hiccups.

“love, listen...” iwaizumi approaches you,somehow he managed to catch up with you, somehow he managed to hold your hand.

"i promise i didn’t want to, but i can’t, i can’t anymore, why can’t i? i try and i try and i keep trying but it’s never enough! IM TIRED OF SEEING SOMETHING AND NOT BEING ABLE TO PROCESS IT LIKE THE OTHERS. I’M TIREDD OF NEVER FULFILLING WHAT I SHOULD”

yahaba’s heart aches, and just as most of the team, is shocked.

your hands, oh your adorable hands, those hands that bandage his in the middle of an important game, he sees them shaking horribly between iwaizumi’s.

“AND I’M SCARED, WHAT IF I LOSE YOU BECAUSE OF THAT BECAUSE OF ME? BECAUSE OF HOW I AM I-“

watari is quick to place your hair gently behind your ear, a kunimi covers you with his jacket.

“I LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND I DONT RECOGNIZE MYSELF” you lower your voice, its cracked now “oikawa I don’t recognize myself, I want to be me again" you whisper, and a knot appears in the captain’s throat, and he puts a hand on your cheek "please... just let me be me again" your throat burns, your eyes get redder.

the gym goes silent, your words still echoing in everyone’s head.

“why didn’t you-“

“i just couldn’t” you blame yourself cutting oikawa off “look at us! we are waisting time on me when we should be- i’m the one who has to- im you support not-“

“hey hey, love...” iwaizumi whispers his voice is filled with sweetness, letting you sit correctly and softly rubbing his thumb in your hands “how many times have you been there for us? y/n your hand is always there”

“that’s true” kyotani says, finally saying something, emotions overwhelmed him a lot, but he genuinely wanted to help you.

“there’s something about you, there’s light” kindaichi follows up.

“no matter where, or how bad we are, somehow you always are helping us stand up” mattsun also tries to carefully approach you, he wants nothing more for you to feel safe.

and oikawa’s arms were still around you. he never stopped.

“we have reached your hand so many times, so now it’s time for you to please take ours” oikawa holds you face, and you see the sincerity and kindness behind his brown eyes, it feels like home.

mattsun does a sign asking the coach for a day off, both of them smile tenderly at you and give the green flag. iwa and makki are next to hold you carefully helping you stand up. they help you stop shaking but it’s mad dog the one who wipes your tears away with a tissue watari handled him. still not knowing if he did it the right way. you still feel kunimi’s scent. you still see kindaichi holding your school bag making sure nothing is missing. yahaba is the one bringing you water. and oikawa still refuses to let you go.

all of them feel like home.

“thank you”

and that’s how you know everything is going to feel fine.

because this club was yours and you were theirs.

this was home.

[aetheternity]

How they simp ft the Aot boys

This is both Aot universe and Modern universe. I’ll separate them accordingly. 

(The charismatic simp): Jean  

•Aot verse:

☆ He's gonna become your friend as soon as he realizes he has a crush on you and he'll do everything in his power to stay by your side when that happens.

☆ He'll slide into the first available seat next to you in the mess hall and bring extra bread so that he can slide it onto your plate if you're extra hungry.

☆ If you spend a lot of time in the library he'll find a book similar to whatever he'd seen you reading before. (Of course he has to ask Armin what kind of books would be similar to your current choice.)

☆ And once he knows your favorite genre he'll head to the library late at night and grab a couple from that genre. Bookmarking his favorite pages so he can talk to you about it and you'll think he's super smart. (He's definitely fallen asleep with many books on his lap, chest and head since he started crushing on you.)

☆ If you have a hobby that's more interactive like sewing or flower picking he'll offer to carry your little basket or wear the thing you're currently stitching up so you can work better.

☆ And yes he did get caught wearing flowers in his hair by Eren. But it was because you'd smiled so fondly at him while sticking daisies in his brown hair. Giggling so cutely when they fell out. And he was gonna take that memory to his fucking grave regardless of what titan idiot had to say about it.

☆ And yes he did get caught wearing a skirt that you were fixing for Historia. By both Connie and Levi.

☆ Levi who went pale in the face and looked as though he was secretly praying for his own demise to come soon as he slowly closed the door and walked away.

☆ And Connie who laughed so hard he choked on his own spit and had to be helped to the infirmary because he was now coughing every time he breathed. So Karma ig 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

☆ He just has to touch you..

☆ Oh God he wants to. He's gonna find a way. Whether it's a little shoulder nudge when you're complimented during meetings by higher ups. Or pats on your back.

☆ If you confide in him about your lack of confidence before a mission he's gonna sit with you and talk you through your feelings.

☆ He does this thing where he leans into you when talking. Rests his hand on your lower back as his breath touches your ear. Whispers sweet compliments into your ear because you need that shit.

☆ And it's good enough to make your toes curl.

☆ Guides you by the wrist through thick crowds so you don't get overwhelmed or lost and sometimes you expect it so you reach out for him and the two of you end up holding hands instead.

☆ He's become your little nurse. Like of course he's worried when you get hurt but there's also the opportunity to fix you up. So silver linings 🙄.

☆ If you're allergic to anything he doesn't have it in his first aid kit. Sometimes you'll get like the smallest little bruise on your knee of some shit. And it's not even from training, you just happened to trip while cleaning the stables and now: thumb sized bruise. But he's like "I don't care, sit so I can clean it."

☆ "It could get infected!" He'll try to convince you but like no, no it couldn't come on now it wasn't even really bloody..

☆ If you just so happen to have extra chores he'll go out and bring you some water then offer to help. Or he'll just ask Levi if he can go help you.

☆ "Those boxes could be heavy." He'll tell the Captain. "We don't need anyone getting unnecessarily injured before the next mission." And of course Levi knows what he's doing and sends him to go help because he honestly doesn't wanna listen to this anymore.

☆ If you have back problems or even if you don't he wants to carry your bag. No you don't get a say in it. But you can go ahead and argue with him if you want to.

• "I just think it looks too heavy."

• "Jean, I'm ok I promise."

• "Ok how about this? Let me hold it for a couple minutes then I'll give it right back."

☆ Yeeeaah. You're not getting your shit back. He's gonna walk you all the way to your designated location and then put the bag down where you need to be for that time period. Even if it completely inconveniences him.

☆ And he won't tell you that he had a meeting that he's now over 12 minutes late to. You don't need to know it'd just worry you for no reason.

☆ He has adapted some sort of like sixth sense when it comes to you. Like sometimes he'll wake up in the middle of the night to pee and just so happens to walk past your bedroom door as you're reading a book on the floor or crying or something.

☆ And now he's sitting with you even though his organs are currently failing.

☆ He'll bring you a glass of water or tea or whatever you want. You want food? He'll find it. Want a book? He'll go get it.

☆ Sometimes he sits in bed with you and just lets you cuddle up to him or reads you a book as you lay on his chest listening to the unsteady beats of his heart. Unsteady cause ya know it's you laying on him. And yeah his face is becoming redder by the second but he can't stop staring at your sleeping face. Even if you snore louder than a titan stomping he doesn't give a single fuck.

☆ At some point everyone thinks you two are dating and they talk to you both as if this is the case but you're not! At least not until Jean finally explains that yes, he does have, "Feelings for you." Tells you exactly how long in fact because to him it's crucial.

☆ When he kisses you it's the type of kiss that makes you suck in air. He takes you by the shoulders, slowly looking for even the smallest bit of hesitation in your face and presses his lips to yours. When you pull away you're lightheaded, pupils blown as you look at him with stars in your eyes.

☆ "Oh.. wow." Is all you mutter.

☆ Good luck, you just fed his giant ego.

•Modern verse:

☆ Modern day Jean is more shy and reserved. He'll definitely try to become your friend but he probably has a lot less opportunities to get you alone.

☆ If you both work at the same place you're probably both confined to your own spaces and if you both go to the same school you might have separate classes.

☆ So here's what he's doing: finding anyway, shape or form to invite you out.

☆ He got an extra ticket to a concert. He'll just not tell Connie and invite you to come with him. Because you know.. you deserve a break after work right? There's a new restaurant opening near him? Cool he's already on the phone telling you their entire menu. (He might have memorized it before calling but he won't tell you he's reading off the menu.)

☆ Sometimes he might go to your desk and leave you something sweet or cute. Like candy or little desk ornaments but he's always too shy to write a note that has his name at the bottom so he settles for staying anonymous. His heart immediately grows three sizes when he sees you playing with the desk ornament he left or eating the candy while typing away at the computer.

☆ He'll look out your favorite band so he can find out when they'll come to the city where you guys live and buy the tickets. Maybe he stays up all night, what does it matter sleep is for the weak.

☆ Or he'll find out your favorite restaurant and go there when he knows you might be going so he can just happen to run into you. No obviously it's not creepy. 😑

☆ If he can't seem to connect with you plan b is to pimp out Sasha. He just has to connect with you! So he'll get Sasha to find out any useful information on you and report back or he'll ask Sasha to become close with your best friends.

☆ If not Sasha then Connie 🤷‍♀️

☆ Once he gets useful information that's when he steps in. Oh you have a presentation for school to work on? He's at your door at 10pm with snacks (that he knows you love thanks to Sasha), energy drinks, and information on the topic you're working on.

☆ I'm talking he brought papers full of information in case you need to beef up your slides. He also brought his own laptop so he can search up any information that seems incorrect. He'll listen to you as you talk about your project and give you feedback on your performance.

☆ This might take all night but he can't help his desire to help you. And of course he's not gonna tell you if he has his own homework to work on.

• "You think it's good? Really?" You'll ask as you close your laptop for the night.

• "You're gonna get an A. Especially since I helped so now it's guaranteed."

• He loves the way you snort and roll your eyes at him when he says this.

• "Thanks Jean, you're a life saver."

☆ If you hug him you might also need to help him up off the floor or bandage him up cause he's gonna hurt himself from the shock and excitement.

☆ If you have a work presentation or just in general need help with something you're doing for your boss. He'll dedicate as much time as he has open to helping you with that too.

☆ Need coffee before your presentation? He's running to the nearest shop. Don't really understand the project your boss gave you? He'll work you through it the whole night.

☆ If you happen to tell him on a Friday that something in your house needs fixing all of a sudden he's 'Fix it Jean' now he's telling you he can fix it tomorrow and the second he hangs up he's looking up how to fix a clogged valve or some shit.

☆ And Sasha and Connie are like, "Sir, what made you think you were a handy man??"

☆ He manages though. Brings like three books to your house and looks through all of them simultaneously. Thinks he messed everything up and is about two seconds away from crying on your floor like a toddler with a spilled juice box but he pulls through surprisingly. Has your shit fixed and gets a little kiss on the cheek.

☆ Which leads into him guiltily explaining the truth and telling you everything. From the trinkets to the tickets to now with this thing he nearly ruined in your apartment. But he's so relieved to see you're grateful for everything instead of annoyed like he'd been believing in his head.

☆ Now he gets a real kiss. And Modern day Jean is built different. He's so nervous to touch you like you're made of glass. But when he does he's got his hands on your sides, keeping you in place like you'll run. Your fingers delicately threading through his hair. Giving you the kind of kiss you don't wanna pull away from. You become so quickly attached to the taste of his lips and the subtle beats of hesitation still lingering on him.

☆ You wanna pull his tongue into your mouth. Keep him so close but he pushes you back. "I wanna take you on a date." He mutters with glassy eyes and bright cheeks.

☆ And obviously you say, "Yes."

(The informed simp): Armin

•Aot verse:

☆ As everyone has said a thousand times before. Armin is an informed simp. And within the first week of knowing he has a crush on you he has information on, your family life before you joined the Corp, your favorite food, your favorite color, your favorite flower, your hobbies etc etc.

☆ And every bit of that information is stored in his file cabinet like brain.

☆ When he found out your favorite color he wore it as often as possible in out of uniform situations. Even if it was just accenting the rest of his clothes he found a way to wear it somewhere.

☆ He skimmed through books that had information on attraction and started subtly complimenting you to make you notice him.

• "Hi, [Name] that jacket really brings out your eyes."

• "It's the same jacket everyone's wearing Armin.."

• "Oh.. yeah.."

☆ Sneaks references to things you like into conversation as often as possible. Because you know, right after a meeting is the best time to talk about how your favorite song is tied to the fact that your mom used to sing it to you to help you sleep?? 😃

☆ More power to him.. he's a little confused but he's got the spirit.

☆ He slipped flowers into your favorite books but it didn't really seem to matter because he was never there when you actually encountered the flowers. (But he did often see you talking about the plants with your friends and twirling them between your fingers) good enough.

☆ He found out ways to better help your digestion. You know because what's love if not healthy bowel movements.. cause like every other attempt made him look stupid so he looked through some books on foods to help keep your colon healthy. And he explained it over dinner..

☆ Safe to say the only one who thought this topic was at all interesting was Levi.

☆ He's absolutely bombing and he hates it. At this point you only give him shy little smiles and then just walk away. He knows you probably don't hate him but he hates that nothing is working for him.

☆ At some point Eren's talking to him solo and he explains that he knows about his crush on you. Following it up promptly with, "Why don't you just tell [Name] that everything you were doing wasn't to be weird, at this point coming clean is probably the only way you could still have a chance."

☆ And he hates it that Eren's right. But he marches right up to you when you have chores out in the stables because if he didn't he'd never say all the things rushing around in his brain.

• "Hi Armin." You greet with that smile.. that smile that makes his stomach tense and his heart want to burst.

• He breathes in before replying, "[Name], I.. like you.." You pause where you're getting water for the horses to see his sun kissed red cheeks. "Everything I've done is because I really like you.." He continues, letting out a shaky breath.

☆ A period of far too long goes by with neither of you saying a word and his blue eyes flicker up to you in concern. When you clap your hands together he nearly parts from his skin.

• "Oh! That explains the weird compliments and the stuff about my mom!" You sigh, slapping your head with a smile. "Oh thank God. Armin I like you too."

☆ More silence because 1. He didn't think you'd like him back and 2. Holy shit you like him back!! He's simultaneously having a party in his brain and melting into the floor.

☆ When he finally kisses you it's unsure. Makes you lean into him. Sweet but subtle like gentle breezes on a hot day. His mouth is closed and his arms cautiously wrap around your waist looking for any sign that you want to get out. But you don't. You just wanna keep pecking his cute little lips because he's so cute and everything he's done is so cute.

• "Finally." You guys turn to see Mikasa and Eren.

• "It's about time." Mikasa greets with a little smirk.

☆ And Armin is practically fainting trying desperately to explain that it wasn't what it looked like but his face continues to tell your little audience that yes. Yes it is what it looks like.

•Modern verse:

☆ Modern day Armin is equipped with an advantage.

☆ Fucking social media.

☆ He went to your page and found out your birthday, your family's last name, how many friends you have in real life. Shit if he dug around long enough he could've probably found your heritage portfolio and your social security. (Social media's a little dangerous sometimes..)

☆ So when he becomes your friend and gets your cell number (Another thing he could've probably dug up online.) He sends you things you might love at any and all times of the day. He spends every free second he has, from lunch time to the last hour he has before he really has to go to sleep researching shit you might like so he can send it to you.

☆ And modern day Armin is so sexy in how he manages to get you into a ton of situations featuring him, your cute little blond simp. Modern day Armin needs to write romance anime 😭

☆ He heard you like aquariums not only did he send you a website to get those tickets way cheaper but he also invited himself (telling you that he was already going). And planned to take you around the city to get your favorite food and any other activities where he could drop his extensive knowledge on marine life. Oh you love astronomy? No problem he was just about to go to the planetarium this weekend, you should definitely go along so he can take you to the planet's light show and stare at you instead of the stars.

☆ Oh your favorite movie is coming out? He had no idea.. he just happened to have an extra ticket to see it the day it comes out. Not only is it now free of charge to you for that but he's also already brought a bunch of your favorite snacks to line his backpack with. Even if your favorite snacks are from a different country he got them express shipped so they'd be there sooner.

☆ He also has weather apps on his phone and laptop so that he'll know if the weather changes even the smallest fraction so that he can take you anywhere else if needed.

☆ Yes he definitely has spent a shit ton of money on you but every time he takes you somewhere your face lights up so beautifully that he'd repeatedly slam his credit card on the table to buy you a plane ticket if you even hinted at wanting it.

☆ In this beautiful opposite world you definitely confessed to him. (You better for his pain and suffering.)

☆ He could've jumped for joy knowing his plans worked perfectly but he simply takes a deep breath, eyes full of contentment as he mumbles, "I feel the same way."

☆ When he kisses you it's with his thumbs lightly rubbing the small of your back. Chewing gum spit out only fifteen minutes ago so his breath was still perfectly fresh. Adding just enough tongue to make you arch and gasp into his mouth. And yeah, he read up on how to do that too. And now that you're his, he's gonna need two jobs cause he came to spoil. No you don't get a say in it.

(The interested simp): Eren

•Aot verse:

☆ Yeah I know this one's weird but let me explain. Eren's simping capabilities are so simple they can be so easily described as, interested.

☆ He legit figured out he had a crush on you and then about 15 minutes later he'd found out everything you'd wanna be if you lived to see the end of the war.

☆ It's so obvious he's simping hard, I mean man's was enamored by you talking about your parents workshop back home. 🙄 You know what I don't even think he was actually interested he was probably playing it up but lowkey disassociated

☆ He definitely gets made fun of for it on the daily too but unlike Jean he kinda shrugs it off.

☆ He's not gonna scavenge the earth for information on you. He's gonna let you tell him and he wants you to tell him. Tell him literally everything about yourself and you will cause he'll know if you don't.

☆ Sometimes he plays little games with you to try to figure out some kind of information about you on like a long ride back from a mission or something. It helps him ease the tension in his brain and gives him something new about you. Win-win

☆ He beat the fucking system by just getting you to talk about you and dropping things you both have in common into conversation. He really did better than Armin!

☆ If you have trouble during training he'll talk you through what you're doing wrong and help you work through your issues. If that leads to some touching well then that's just how things will go 🤷‍♀️

☆ The second he has your favorite color in his mind he's buying you a piece of jewelry with the same stone color. Yes this is him marking you as his and no you probably won't realize but the second you put it on in his eyes you belong to him. And now you can never take it off. 😃

☆ He has a little notebook (not for writing journal entries or anything.) It's just sometimes he forgets certain things you tell him and you pretend to pout when he asks for the information again so he writes it down in the notebook so he can read it and remember it again.

☆ There have definitely been instances on more than one occasion where the two of you would stay up all night talking. Sneak into the other person's room. Sitting on the floor together or side by side on the bed. Those are definitely the best nights because you get to show off your Eren trivia and prove you've retained just as much information on him as he has about you.

☆ Another scenario has presented itself in which you're the one who ends up confessing. Eren would come close cheeks flush with pink and whisper, the ghost of his lips on yours, "I think it's kinda obvious how I feel." When he kisses you it's with both hands cupping your cheeks. So hot against your face. Thumbs curving delicately over your skin. He's leaning into your lips over and over again. Recapturing them every time he pulls back but he also loves making you work for it a little, smirking when you have to strech to capture his lips again. Taking every bit of oxygen from your body. You kinda hold onto him with slightly shaky arms when he's finished. But honestly he's only finished for now cause he'll never get enough of your lips now that he's had a taste.

•Modern verse:

☆ Modern day Eren talked to you before he realized he was attracted to you and you haven't gotten rid of him since the day he realized he wanted you.

☆ He sees you walking to your next class or to the copy machine and he trots his way over to match your pace.

☆ When he's not with you, he's texting you nonsensical stuff he thinks you'll find funny. And when he is with you he's listening to every word you say with the dopiest grin adorning his features.

☆ Sometimes when you're talking he'll unsubtly lick his lips to see if he can make your eyes follow his tongue or he'll lean in closer, kinda crowding you a little if you're both standing. Speaking of crowding he pulls you into him by your hips if you just happen to be standing in the way and someone needs to get past you two.

☆ You'll never understand how much harder he falls for you when you look up at him through your pretty lashes. Hands slightly on his chest.

☆ He loves annoying you. Doing little shit like poking you with the eraser on his pencil or snatching your books from you when you're writing while he's talking. Cause he just thinks you should be staring into his eyes while he talks in the same way he does with you.

☆When he brings you dinner he always brings himself something to eat as well and he'll plop down next to you and ask you for details about your day. Smiling fondly at you when you complain about minor inconveniences.

☆ He loves your fingers so much. If he's not staring into your eyes he's looking at the way your thumb drags over your dripping boba/coffee. The way your fingers click perfectly over every key on your laptop. Every now and then he'll reach out for your hands massaging the knuckles because he just wants to touch them so bad. Bonus points if you smile at him while he does it.

☆ Not gonna lie it could definitely go either way with a confession. But it's probably more likely going to be on you unless he just so happens to accidentally confess while sleepy or drunk.

☆ When he kisses you, he cups your chin pulling you close, angling his tongue so it slides right up against your teeth. He softly hums into your mouth and you can tell he's at least a little nervous but his touch is so perfect. His thumb sliding over the edge of your lips as he sucks your tongue into his mouth. You're more than a little ashamed at the whine you let out when he pulls away. But the way he's blushing makes you feel at least a little bit better.

(The Childish simp): Connie

•Aot verse:

☆ Let's be honest, he doesn't know what he's doing. You know, cause you're his first crush.

☆ He's going to work extra hard to drop even the most random jokes and then look directly at you hoping you laugh. Just laugh cause if you don't he might repeat the joke again and that'd be uncomfortable for everyone.

☆ And when you crack a joke he's out here guffawing like it's the best thing he's ever heard. Like he'll legit pause all conversation with his loud ass laughing and everyone in the room is just like: 😒

☆ If he gives you gifts they're normally things he thinks are cool or awesome but every now and then he'll pick a flower and just randomly stuff it in your hair and when you look at him confused smile adorning your face he'll say, "It fits your face." And then awkwardly gesture at you. All you can really say is thank you.

☆ He practically crashes into the seat next to you at meetings. Jean dead ass started pretending to race him for the seat next to you and one time he tipped the chair over and fell on top of it, Levi made him reenter the room properly after he'd managed to stand up.

☆ He sometimes does that I'm not touching you thing to get your attention or taps your shoulder then looks away as you turn to look at him. He'll poke your shoulder a couple times until he's successful in keeping your eyes on him then he'll hover his finger over your head or shoulder until you roll your eyes.

• "Connie.."

• "I'm not even touching you!" He'll laugh

☆ He does nice things for you but they never really work out well for him. One time he got you a glass of water because he thought you looked thirsty and he placed it in front of you when you weren't looking. You turned from where you were talking with Historia and your elbow tipped over the cup spilling its contents all over your lap and meeting notes. He felt so so bad.

☆ One time you tripped during training and got a huge scratch on your leg and Levi stepped in to care for you. He asked Connie to go get the alcohol and in his excitement he ran back and tripped spilling the entire bottle all over the floor. Eren had to go run to the closest store and get more.

☆ At some point in time he walks into your room and sloppily pours his feelings out to you as you sit on your bed staring at him in confusion. His face is like beet red and he's breathing like he just ran a marathon. But you laugh and tell him you think he's adorable. You think he's gonna hug you when he pulls you in under your arms but he just holds your back super tight with both hands and swings you around till you can't stop giggling. His kiss is sweet a little sloppy cause it's his first but he's eager and cute as he pulls you into his chest. Probably bites your lip in a playful way and you can't help but lean into him.

•Modern verse:

☆ Modern day Connie is probably annoying the fuck out of you. He sends you memes all day! Put your phone on silent all you want you'll just come back to 40+ messages. And he likes to call you when he's not busy which means you're forever regretting giving him your number.

☆ He'll deadass go to the bathroom and face time you in the stall talkin bout some, "What're you doing right now?" And you're like, "Mfer what are you doing right now!"

☆ He takes any given opportunity to flirt with you and he's so goofy you won't realize he genuinely means everything he says,

• "I really hate your last name." He randomly says

• "What'd my last name do to you?"

• He shrugs, "I think you should change it."

• "To what?" You scoff

• "Springer 😘"

☆ And he calls you for the stupidest shit when he's at home:

• "Connie, what's wrong? You called me like four times in a row."

• "Which animals do you think would be the bitchest if they spoke human?"

• "Bye Connie 😑"

• "No wait!"

• "What?"

• "Send nudes."

☆ Loves to lay on you when you're sitting. Like he'll deadass drop his whole weight onto your back while you're sitting in your desk chair trying to work. He's just looking for a way to touch you and doesn't know how to express that.

☆ Yes he does have you in his phone as something crass and no he's not willing to change it. Most likely some shit like fat ass with a heart or Mommy/Daddy as a personal joke.

☆ And yeah you find him super annoying until this one night when he's texting you pics of his old family dog back home and he tells you everything about the dog's life from when he was a puppy to the day he passed and he shows you pics of him kissing the little pups head and holding him and things like that. The last video he sent was him crying while holding a framed photo after the dog's passing during Christmas time. And it's the first time you've ever been provoked to hug Connie instead of choke him.

☆ When the time finally comes for Connie to tell you his feelings you're in a good place to accept them and tell him you like him back. And that's when he pulls you in around the neck and gives you a surprisingly natural kiss. His mouth is parted slightly, hands gripping the back of your shirt a little as he keeps you close. He allows you to take the lead. Forehead warm where it's pressed against his. You both can't help but stay like that for awhile.

(The lowkey simp): Levi

•Aot verse:

☆ Rule number 1 you cannot know he is simping. He'll take it to his grave but if you're not oblivious you'll probably catch on.

☆ When he disassociates during a meeting his eyes get darker in the middle and he just rests his chin on his palm and stares at you. Doesn't matter that the meeting has been going on for more than an hour and he has yet to blink. He doesn't even know he's doing it. When he comes back down to earth he just blinks normally and looks away. And if no one tells him he'll honestly continue to do it. Sometimes in different positions, he's laying back in his chair head forward but his eyes are on you a couple seats down on the other side of the table.

☆ He picks up items whenever he goes into town. And I mean every. single. time. For you and he makes sure it's something you'll love and while you're out training he'll stuff it in a box and place it on your bed.

☆ He writes you anonymous notes with little inspirational words on them in places only you'll find them. But it's inspirational in Levi terms so it's shit like, "Stay alive for tomorrow." And "Don't look down because the sun is up."

☆ When he needs a break from work he just closes his eyes and thinks about you. Sometimes he does it just because he secretly loves that warm floating sensation he gets.

☆ Like Eren he'll trot up beside you whenever he can. But he won't say a word unless you say something first.

• "Hi Captain." You greet when he pops into your peripheral vision.

• Genuinely can not help how soft his eyes are when he looks at you, "Hello." He replies

☆ He'll find some reason to complain about the way his entire squad cleans their rooms so that he can also have an excuse to say he'll reclean them so that he has an excuse to make a bee line for your room first and be trapped in your scent. Taking your sheets off the bed and holding them to his chest, sweeping, getting that extra elbow grease on the windows so they're more spotless than even his standards.

☆ And of course because he doesn't want you to know he's simping hard for you he has to deal with you paying him the same amount of attention as the other higher ups which he hates with a burning passion. Like why don't you like him more? He does way more for you on a level that you can see. You should be more affectionate towards him. You talk to him everyday.

☆ I don't think I need to tell you Levi's shy so you'll be confessing. And you start by telling him you know the notes are from him because while Levi's intelligent he's also stupid. Like who the fuck else has access to your uniform clothes and would care enough to go in your drawers just to leave a piece of paper with the words, "Life is never so shitty that you can't at least better yourself."

☆ He kinda just lowers his head as pink soaks his entire face. And you lift his chin up to press a slow chaste kiss on his lips. He doesn't touch you. He can't bring himself to but he manages to kiss back. His irises so bright when you pull away. "Thank you Captain." You tell him before you leave. He's definitely genuinely worried his heart is getting ready to explode as he stares at the closed door.

•Modern verse

☆ Modern day Levi is a fucking mess. He doesn't know shit about having a crush and he knows it's you really early into meeting you but he's like, why them. He managed to spend his entire existence avoiding romance and yet here you are. He doesn't even know what he wants from you so sometimes he comes off a little more aggressive when he's talking to you.

☆ He stares directly into your soul when you're sitting across from him for any reason. You had to have had a crush on him first because he genuinely doesn't know what to do with himself.

☆ If you invite him somewhere he scoffs immediately following it up with a, "I'll be there."

☆ He rereads your messages whenever he's bored. And if you send him good morning texts he'll be thinking, morning beautiful angel. The one time you sent him a good morning text with a heart he analyzed it so long that he never replied back to you.

☆ The second he figured out how to use personalized ringtones he made yours something soft and sweet. Most likely with violins or maybe with a harp.

☆ A couple times while he was bored during a meeting or class he wrote your initials in cursive in his notebook. One time he wrote it on the front of his notebook by accident and had to throw that one away. Which honestly made him sad because he really liked how it looked.

☆ When you confess to him it's by accident and the way his face lights up is actually the most precious thing you've ever seen. He comes back down to earth slow and admits that he "feels the same." Under his breath of course but you heard and that's what counts.

☆ When you kiss him you instantly notice how small his lips actually are 🥺🥺 like you've stared at them before when he was eating and stuff but his lips are cute and so small. And he's so hesitant to kiss back. But then he does and you can kinda feel the tension leave him a little. His arms a little shaky as he supports himself. It probably looks like two middle schoolers kissing for the first time honestly. Right down to the sitting on the edge of the bed thing. But Levi's lips are so warm and he's such a naturally good kisser that you indulge for as long as you can.

[myherowritings]

Maybe It’s Fate

— After discovering the mememate you fell in love with was your ex-boyfriend who broke your heart, you find yourself alone in a bar with a dead phone in a poor attempt to cope. The person who helps you at 3 a.m. is the last person you want to see.

pairing: shinsou hitoshi x f!reader word count: 10,531 genre: modern au, social media au

a/n: hihi welcome to part 25 of toya ! ;) the smau is rated 17+ so keep that in mind because it applies to this part too. it’s a bit thicc so i hope it’s able to keep your attention! skksffsd plspls chat with me and let me know what u think once u read! i’m looking forward to the convos ^-^ [edit: THIS IS NOT THE FINAL PART LOLOL]

Of all the dumb decisions you’ve made in your life, this by far had to be the dumbest of them all.

You were angry and hurt and wanted nothing more than to drown your feelings with overplayed EDM music and cheap booze that reminded you too much of the trash college parties you used to frequent. And while going out to get drunk was no where near your stupidest decision, going out alone with the full intention of returning home with someone else was. 

“Is everything okay?” you heard an unfamiliar voice beside you call.

Wishing you had brought more than an empty can of pepper spray, you cautiously turned to face him. You wanted to call a cab or take the train home, but you knew walking alone in the streets in your current condition might just be more stupid than staying at the club. Besides, your phone died right after you sent Kaminari your location. 

In other words-- You were truly fucked.

Not that you would let anyone know that, of course.

“Everything’s just fine,” you replied, trying to sound polite but disinterested. “Thanks.” 

He kept his distance but sat down at the barstool next to you. “Are you sure? You’re a pretty lady alone at the bar and you’re staring at your drink like it just insulted your favorite grandmother.” 

Immediately, the tears of stress and frustration flooded your eyes but you kept them from falling. Your bottom lip quivered and you blamed all the alcohol in your system for your seemingly uncontrollable emotions.

 “Am I that transparent?” You sniffled, downing the rest of your drink as you turned towards him.

“Ah-- Wait!” he cried with wide eyes, waving his hands in front of him as you chugged what was in your glass. “Are you sure you should keep drinking? Where are your friends?”

You studied him curiously. He seemed nice and trustworthy, but you couldn’t help but be skeptical of his intentions.

“They’re...around,” you answered, unwilling to admit you were here alone to a random stranger. “And I’m okay! Just here hating men, but what’s new?” 

He nodded solemnly. “Understandable. Men suck. Carry on.”

That earned a grin from you.

As the last gulp of vodka settled in your stomach and made its way to your head, you instinctively checked your phone in your pocket only to find it still dead. 

Damn. And here you were hoping it would’ve miraculously charged through sheer willpower. 

Drumming your fingertips against the empty glass, you let your gaze roam around the perimeter of the nightclub, blinking furiously in confusion when you thought you had spotted a head of all-too-familiar purple hair near the entrance.

“What the…” you trailed off. You could have sworn you just saw Shinsou, but the next second you opened your eyes, he was gone.

Great, you thought to yourself miserably. First he snuck his way into your heart and now you were imagining his presence too? 

“You’re really had too much to drink, haven’t you, Y/N?” you chided yourself, head spinning as you instantly regretted the last few gulps.

The guy next to you glanced over in concern, drinking a glass of what you assumed to be respect women juice. 

“Can I order you some water?” he fretted. “Or maybe a cab?” 

You shook your head to decline but stopped abruptly when your temples started to throb at the sudden motion. 

“S’okay,” you slurred. “I just thought I saw--” 

“Y/N!” 

You froze in your seat.

That voice… It was faint and almost like it wasn’t real, but you knew that voice. 

There was no way. 

“Good grief, I’m losing it now, huh?” you asked your bar acquaintance with furrowed brows. 

He shrugged, not knowing how to reply.

“Y/N, thank god,” the voice said frantically, sounding closer this time. “You’re safe!”

Ever so slowly, you turned around in your seat, eyes squeezed shut.

Even hearing his voice amidst the blaring of music was enough to make your heart twist in pain. It was the same deep timbre you remembered from high school and you haven’t heard it since then. You hated just how much you had missed the familiar sound. It was like a hug of comfort telling you everything was okay and a stab in the gut all at once.

“Y/N,” he said again, almost a whisper this time.

You finally found the courage to open your eyes, but refused to meet his gaze. Instead, you developed a deep interest in the laces of his shoes, reluctant to look up. 

“Shinsou…” The name left a bitter taste on your tongue and you wished you had another drink to wash it down with. Your voice hardened. “What are you doing here?” 

He winced at your harsh tone but stood unrelenting. “Your friends are worried sick about you. Kaminari was so concerned he even messaged me-- Something I imagine he never wanted to do.”

Your lower lip jutted out in guilt as your stare stayed set on the intricacies of the tiled flooring. 

“Why have you not checked your phone?” asked Shinsou in exasperation. “Kaminari was trying to tell you I was going to pick you up.” 

“I’m sorry,” you said softly. “My phone died after I sent Denki my location.”

“Died? Did you not charge it before you left? Y/N how could you be so irresponsible--!” 

“Is everything okay here?” your unnamed acquaintance said from his seat on the bar. He glanced carefully between you and Hitoshi. 

You nodded, sparing him a wry smile. “I’m fine. Thank you, though.” 

Shinsou bit the inside of his cheek as he eyed the stranger who sat next to you. “Who’s this?” 

“None of your damn business.” 

Annoyed by Shinsou’s chiding, you bristled when he frowned at you. He had no right to sound concerned or jealous-- No right to pretend he cared!

Not when he did what he did.

“I know I was being stupid and I’ll call my friends when I get home,” you said, not bothering to hide your irritation. “But you can’t just come here and talk to me like everything is normal! Why are you even here?” 

Pushing yourself out of your chair, you stood up and finally looked Hitoshi in the eye, glaring at him. You wobbled on your own two feet and felt the goosebumps on your bare thighs and arms, briefly wishing you had brought a coat with you.

Great, another thing Toshi can call you irresponsible for, you thought crossly, a mixture of hurt and anger in your face as you stared up at him. 

“Why are you here?” you repeated as you paced away from the bar--turning back only to give your bar friend a wave goodbye that he returned with a confused look. You headed for the exist of the nightclub as briskly as your legs could carry you in your uncomfortable heels. “How did you know where to find me?” 

Shinsou trailed not too far behind you and you begrudgingly admitted to yourself that you felt a warmth near your back from his presence. “Kaminari told me you were alone at a nightclub and this one happened to be only ten minutes from my house.”

You pouted. Small fucking world. Fate must’ve been getting a kick out of this.

“Your friends were worried-- So was I.” You rolled your eyes, but he continued. “And since I was the closest to this place I offered to pick you up.”

Reaching the side doors, you stopped by the stone wall of the building and squinted at him. “You offered and they just let you?”

That did not sound like the friends you knew. You were expecting a full Shinsou beat down from Bakugou alone. 

Hitoshi scratched the back of his neck and, in your tipsy stupor, you felt comforted by the familiar habit of his. You swallowed, balling your hands into fists to snap your mind out of it.

It shouldn’t matter how many memories of the past were flooding you-- You were mad at him for lying and you had every right to be.

“Maybe offered is too loose of a word,” he admitted after a moment’s silence, having the decency to appear sheepish. “But we were worried and I knew I could get to you in half the time any of your friends could.”

Sure, it was a logical reason. But that didn’t mean you had to like it. “I would rather have waited double the time if that meant I didn’t have to see you again.” 

You stared Hitoshi straight in the eyes as you said that as you tried to ignore the trembling of your lower lip. He flinched at the words, looking hurt. But another part of him looked like he accepted it. 

“I know I’m the last person you want to see right now--”

“Mhmm,” you hummed just to be petty.

“--but we had no way of knowing if you were safe. Especially when you stopped replying to anyone! This was the quickest way.” 

Folding your arms across your chest you stubbornly held his gaze. “Well, I’m safe. So you can leave now.” 

Shinsou pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. “Please. I know you hate me and you have every right to--”

“I don’t hate you,” you muttered under your breath. As much as you wish you did, you don’t think you could ever really hate him.

He blinked slowly and you could have sworn you saw a shimmer of hope in his expression. You tore your gaze away, studying the small fissures and cracks on the otherwise smooth pavement. 

“Oh,” he breathed almost imperceptibly. “Thank you.” 

You pretended not to hear him.

“Regardless of whether you hate me or not, I know you don’t want to see me--and I apologize for showing up so suddenly--but will you please let me bring you home safely?” Hitoshi pleaded. “Or to your friend’s house if you don’t want to be alone.”

With your lips squeezed shut, you rubbed the goosebumps off your upper arm. It was cold and your head was spinning and you had no clue what to say to him. 

Silently, Shinsou took off his outer coat and gently draped it over your shoulders, fastening the top button near the collar so it wouldn’t fall off your frame. You looked at him in surprise, unshed tears stinging the back of your eyes as you recalled all the times he’d given you his jacket while you were dating.

There were more times that you cared to admit where you conveniently “forgot” your jacket or wore too little layers on a cold day just so Hitoshi could give you his and you’d be enveloped in his scent.

And that’s exactly what was happening now. Shinsou’s coat surrounded your body like a warm hug and your nose was filled with a scent exactly like the one you remembered from when you were dating. He smelled like a sweet sandalwood with a mixture of fresh jasmine. He smelled like a field of flowers you’d find after a long trek through a woodsy forest. He smelled like home.

But he wasn’t.

In actuality, you haven’t been this close to Shinsou since your break up.

It had been years since you had seen him or talked to him or even been close enough to catch a trace of his scent. And now he was flooding every one of your senses with no care of the repercussions.

Your head was light.

You missed him. You cared for him. You never stopped loving him.

And now old wounds that never fully healed had been ripped open all at once.

“You were shivering,” Hitoshi stated quietly. “So I gave you my--”

He stopped short when he heard a sniffle coming from your direction, eyes growing wide as your buried your face in the palms of your shaking hands.

Through the cracks between your fingers, you saw Shinsou reach out to cup your face, stopping himself before he could touch you and withdrawing as if he had been burned. As stupid as it was, you wanted nothing more than to feel his touch against your skin and you found yourself involuntarily taking a half-step closer to him.

Your silent tears feel even faster. 

“Are you crying?”

Despite the droplets of water blurring your eyes, you managed to glare up at him for his dumb question. 

He grimaced. “Sorry. I’m...sorry.” 

Although you were the one crying, you still noticed the pained look on Shinsou’s face. He seemed just as conflicted as you were, his fingernails digging into the palms of his hands so hard his knuckles appeared white. 

When he opened his mouth to speak his voice sounded choked, but still gentle. “Are you okay, Y/N?” 

“Just peachy,” you murmured, barely moving your lips. The two of you stood there in awkward silence, nothing but the sounds of your labored breaths filling the air until you blurted, “Actually, you know what--? No. I’m not!”

Shinsou opened his mouth to speak but no noise came out. That was just fine by you, though. You had plenty of things you wanted to say, regardless of his response.

“I’m angry at you! And confused. And sad. And hurt! I don’t know if I want to yell at you or ignore you or run right back into your arms--” Your voice cracked and you squeezed your eyes shut, trying to slow your sharp breathing. 

You hugged yourself around your waist, painfully aware of how comforting his jacket felt around your body. A part of you wished you could just tear the coat off your shoulders, throw it onto a puddle on the floor, give Shinsou the middle finger, and turn away without looking back.

But you couldn’t. 

Instead, you let your tears continue to fall as you glowered at Hitoshi’s shoes. 

“I am so mad at you,” you managed, hands clutching the fabric at your sides. “You lied to me, Hitoshi. You lied to me and you didn’t trust me and you left!” 

The hurt from your past which you never wanted to accept mixed with anger from the present, both fueling your surge in emotions.

“And now you’re here--in front of me--acting like everything is okay?!” you shouted in exasperation. Your face was burning despite the chilling breeze outside. “Do you even care about me? Have you ever even cared about me?” 

He gritted his teeth, hurt that you would even ask that. “Of course. Of course I care about you, Y/N! Even through all these years I’ve never stopped caring about you.”

“Funny way of showing it.” 

His laugh was humorless. “I’m a fuck up. I know.” 

Your gaze softened just the slightest bit. “Hey-- I didn’t say that.” 

Shinsou shrugged. “Regardless, I did fuck up with you. And I’m so sorry for that.” 

“For which time?” By now, the tears flowing out of your eyes slowed, the remnants dried by the biting wind. You gave him a wry smile, unamused. 

“Both times,” he answered without hesitation. “I hurt you when I broke up with you for no damn reason and I lied when I told you I didn’t love you. That was the biggest lie of my life-- I still loved you. So much. But I jumped to conclusions and didn’t give you the change to explain. I owe you so much more than an apology but it’s the least I can give you right now.” 

You rolled your lower lip between your teeth, hating yourself for wanting to accept his apology and jump into his arms. He gave no excuses for what he did and his words were genuine. That much you knew for certain.

Slowly, he inched towards you. 

“I really am sorry, Y/N.” He paused. “You didn’t deserve any of that.”

You stayed silent, holding your breath as the pad of his thumb brushed against your damp cheek. Shinsou wiped away your flood of tears with a touch so gentle, it felt like a feather on your face.

His thumb lingered on your cheekbone, his fingertips lightly grazing your jaw, and you found yourself ever so slightly leaning into his palm. The tension in your muscles loosened and if you closed your eyes, you could almost pretend you were back with the Shinsou you loved in high school-- As if he never left and nothing had ever changed. 

Just for a moment, you tricked yourself into being truly happy. You tricked yourself into thinking that maybe you and Hitoshi could still be in love. 

You wanted to capture this second and replay it on an infinite loop, but just like all moments, this too had to come to an end. 

As you opened your eyes, Hitoshi reluctantly brought his hand back to his side.

“Sorry,” he said, voice hoarse. “You were crying and I just wanted to--” He shook his head, cutting himself off before his voice cracked. “I’m sorry.” 

It sounded like his apology was meant for more than just wiping some tears off your face. 

You nodded almost imperceptibly, the anger in your gaze diffused by hurt and longing. “I know.”

As the minutes passed, neither one of you made a move to step away from the other-- Your bodies mere inches apart and so close, yet never quite touching.

Suddenly, Hitoshi cleared his throat.

“Er-- If you’ll let me, I think I should bring you home now,” he said, forcibly shaking himself out of his daze and pulling his phone out. “It’s almost four in the morning.” 

Blinking, you rubbed your eyes. Not that he mentioned the time, you realized just how tired you were. You wanted to take a bubble bath, change into fluffy pajamas, and sleep until the following night. 

“Do you have to go to your flower shop tomorrow?”  

“Hmm?” You were startled. You had almost forgotten that the man in front of you was the same person you considered your “mememate.” As much as you hated to admit it, he probably knew more about you than some of your closest friends. 

Biting your lip, you snapped yourself out of it.

“Oh-- Right. My flower shop.” 

He nodded.

“No, I don’t have work tomorrow,” you answered finally. “I may not have made the smartest decisions tonight, but I’m not that irresponsible.” 

A shadow of a smile graced his face. “Of course not.” 

Fishing his keys from his pocket, Shinsou walked to the parking lot of the nightclub, looking over his shoulder to check if you were following.

When his gaze met yours you immediately stuck your tongue out at him haughtily so he knew you were only following him as a last resort and you needed to get home-- Not because you wanted to. 

You caught a glimpse of his grin before he turned around, and you managed to stop yourself before one spread to your lips as well. 

Stopping at a black car with tinted windows, Hitoshi unlocked it with his keys, opening the door of the passenger seat and waiting for you to safely enter. 

“I can open a door myself,” you murmured, sliding into the seat securely before he gently shut it close. 

“I know,” you heard his amused voice call through the window.

It felt like there was one, singular butterfly fluttering around in your stomach and causing mayhem, and you batted it away before Hitoshi could come in and see the grin on your face. 

“Did I just see you just hit yourself in the gut?” he asked when he entered through the driver’s side. 

“No.” 

“Okay.”

Subtly, you rubbed your tummy in a soft, circular motion. You hadn’t meant to punch the butterfly that hard. 

“Didn’t hit yourself, huh?” 

You flushed. “Oh, hush.” 

With a snort, Hitoshi turned the engine of his car on and you let your eyes explore the interior. It was sleek and clean, smelling like a mixture of sandalwood and new car. 

Reaching behind the gear level, he pulled out a white cord and handed it to you. You stared at the object in his hands.

“For you,” he said, with a raised brow. “You should charge your phone and let your friends know you’re on your way home.” 

Wordlessly, you accepted it from him. Careful not to let your fingers brush against his in fear of the spark it might cause.

“I messaged Kaminari earlier to let him know you were safe. But he probably wants to hear it from you.”

You nodded as you plugged your dead phone in. “Thanks.” 

He hummed, putting the car on drive and backing out of the parking spot, stopping before he reached the main street. 

“Do you know how to get home from here?” he asked. As you shook your head, Hitoshi handed you his fully charged phone that was opened on the navigation app. “You can search for your address.”

“Got it.” The air between you was almost suffocatingly awkward as you typed in where you lived, each click of the keyboard ringing into the stillness of the night. After finding turning the directions on, you handed the phone back to him. “Thanks.”

Shaking his head, he waved you off. “You don’t need to keep thanking me, Y/N. This is the least I could do.”

Averting your gaze, you twiddled your thumbs in your lap, unsure what to say. You had so much you wanted to tell him--so much you wanted to ask--but when it came to it, you froze. 

Just then, your phone made a sound from its spot near the gear shift, buzzing and lighting up as it finally turned on. A plethora of notifications filled your screen and you found yourself feeling guilty for making your friends worry like that.

Five missed calls for Kaminari, three missed calls from Todoroki, and nine missed calls from Bakugou. You gulped. You were definitely going to get your ears talked off by those three once they got a hold of you. 

But amidst the calls and texts of worry from your friends, you also noticed a handful of messages from Hitoshi. He sent you texts asking if you were okay and telling you not to worry because he was on his way to get you. There was a lump in your throat when he saw the messages were still from your mememate-- You never did get around to changing his contact name.

From the corner of your eye you saw Hitoshi glancing down at your phone screen, a look of regret apparent on his face. When he caught you staring, he directed his attention back on the road, clearing his throat as he followed the directions on the navigation system.

To think only a week ago, things were so different between the two of you. 

You thought he was a random stranger you connected with through the power of memes, never having a clue that he was your ex this whole time. You found yourself opening up and sharing your private feelings with him despite the promise you made yourself to always guard your heart. 

Even anonymously, Hitoshi climbed over your walls and found his way to the inner workings of your life. Even anonymously, he made everything feel like it was okay. 

But a part of you was scared--so scared--that it was all in your head and he was only playing you this whole time. And at this point, you were just too afraid to ask.

“Are you crying again?”

“What?!” you yelped in alarm, wiping at your slightly damp face with the sleeves of his coat. “No, you asshole!” You glared at him, a few loose tears still gathered by the corners of your eyes. You refused to let them fall through the use of sheer willpower. “The air conditioning is just blasting into my eyes.”

“The air conditioner is off.”

You blinked. “Well that makes sense. It’s so hot in here I’m just sweating through my eyes.” 

He pressed his lips together to keep from smiling. “Right.”

The lighthearted mood didn’t last very long, however, when your phone buzzed once more and the notifications from earlier tonight appeared on your lockscreen. 

“I really made everyone worry, huh?” You sighed, leaning back against the headrest and shutting your eyes, the effects of the alcohol long since worn off. “I can’t believe I did something like this.” 

He signaled a left turn and waited until he was at the red light before continuing. “I’m sorry for causing this.” 

You stared at him in confusion. “What do you mean? Causing this?”

“Yeah. If I had just told you who I was the moment I found out, this wouldn’t have happened. You wouldn’t have been scared and alone at a random nightclub and your friends wouldn’t have been in near panic for hours. Hell-- If I hadn’t run away like that all those years ago none of this would have happened.” His fingers tightened around the steering wheel so hard it left indents on the leather. “You wouldn’t have felt all the pain and heartbreak and--”

His voice grew hoarse as it broke off, as if something was tightening around his throat. Holding your breath, you gazed at him in concern.

You were angry at Hitoshi and thought he had a lot of explaining to do-- Sure. But...for him to blame himself for everything that happened? That was more weight than anyone should bear on their own. 

Surprising both him and yourself, you firmly placed your hand on top of his as he gripped the steering wheel. His hands were cold and rough from the wind, and you were certain yours weren’t much better. But still, you held him. And still, it felt right. 

“Not everything is your fault, Toshi,” you said quietly, his old nickname slipping out of your mouth before you could stop it, like it was natural for you to call him that.

His eyes widened and a flush filled your cheeks. 

You coughed to relieve the tension in your neck. “I just mean… You don’t need to blame yourself for everything. You messed up and there’s no denying that, but this isn’t all your fault. I mean it.” 

Your eyes met before he tore his gaze away to focus on driving. Quickly, you retracted your hand from on top of Shinsou’s, cradling it against your stomach as you felt the burn from his skin linger on yours.

“Thank you.” His voice was solemn and grateful, as if he needed to hear those words at least once in his life. “You’re too caring, you know? Your heart is too good.” 

You let out a breath of laughter, brushing his compliment off. “Yours is too. It’s just been through some shit. And maybe didn’t make the best decisions.”

“It most definitely didn’t.”

Though neither of you were looking at each other, there was a shared sense of happiness between the two of you--regardless of how brief it may have been. There was a small smile playing on your face as you bit your lip to keep it from growing wider. 

You hadn’t fully forgiven Hitoshi, he still had some explaining to do, but you felt a sense of calmness when you realized that maybe forgiveness would be possible.

Before you knew it, you heard the navigator say, “Your destination is on the right,” as Hitoshi pulled up at the curb in front of your building.

“We’re here,” he announced slowly, one hand on the gear level as if he wasn’t sure what to do next. 

There was an awkward silence as you unplugged your phone from his car charger. It wasn’t that you wanted to spend more time with him exactly (that was definitely not the case), but rather you had more questions to ask. And what better time to figure out those questions than at four in the morning? 

“You’ve been driving for a while…” you trailed off, hoping he caught the hint without too much embarrassment on your part. “Do you want to use the restroom before you drive back home?”

Hitoshi scratched the back of his neck. “No, I’m good. I wasn’t out for that long.”

“O-Oh,” you stuttered, a sudden feeling of nerves settling in your stomach. Not those damned butterflies again. “Well, how about… Maybe you want a glass of water or a cup of tea?” 

He gave you a curious look but set his car to park and turned off the engine nonetheless. “Sure…? Some water would be nice.”

You let out a sigh of relief you didn’t know you were holding, pulling your keys out of your pocket and unbuckling your seatbelt. Before you could open the car door for yourself, Hitoshi was already on the passenger’s side ready to open it for you. 

“I know how to open a door,” you muttered with a roll of your eye, but felt a faint flush litter your cheeks nonetheless. You hopped out of your seat, accepting the hand he offered to stead you. “But...thank you.” 

“No worries.” 

For someone you were still mad at, he was making it damn hard for you to stay petty. 

Despite the light throbbing in your head, both from drinking too much alcohol and from staying up too late, you were able to lead him inside your living room with no complications--only struggling with unlocking the door just a little. 

“Welcome to my house,” you said, flapping your arms around and fidgeting in place. You slid off your shoes and placed them at the doorway and Hitoshi followed suit. “You can, uh, sit on the couch while I get you water. Or you can follow me into the kitchen…?”

Your eyes scanned the floors and furniture of your apartment. You liked maintaining your living space clean and clutter-free, so it wasn’t too much of a mess. Still, you weren’t expecting any guests and it wasn’t as nice as it could have been…

You shook your head, giving your face a light slap when you thought no one was looking. You shouldn’t be bothered. It was just Hitoshi here. Someone you most definitely no longer cared about. 

Or so you kept telling yourself.

He followed behind you, grabbing at his neck and glancing between your walls and you, unsure what to look at in this new environment. After all, it wasn’t everyday you picked up your ex that you haven’t seen for four years at a bar only to be invited into their house.

“I can go with you to the kitchen,” he answered with uncertainty.

“G-Great!” 

You grimaced. When did you become Tony the Tiger all of a sudden? 

As you grabbed two glasses from the cupboard, you filled them up with ice and water, setting one next to Shinsou on the countertop. 

He accepted it. “Thank you.” 

You nodded and there was an awkward silence, both of you taking long sips from your glass, not knowing where to go from here. You knew you wanted to talk to him, but what were you going to ask exactly? What was the right way to go about this situation?

Next to you, Hitoshi looked like he was having some inner struggles of his own. His fingers flexed and unflexed around the cool glass, both avoiding your gaze and looking at you at the same time.

Biting your lip, you turned to look at him. As uncomfortable as it was, there was no better time to ask than now.

“Can we talk--?”

“We should talk--”

You both started and stopped at the same time.

There was a beat of elongated silence before the two of you laughed. Shaking your head, you buried your face in your hands, peering at him between your fingers. 

“This is silly,” you cried in embarrassment. “Why are we so awkward?” 

Hitoshi shrugged as a flustered laugh escaped his own lips. “Because this is weird. This is a strange situation we’re in and no one would ever expect something like this to happen.”

“Exactly!” 

“But,” he continued, almost hesitantly, “I’m kind of glad it did, though.” 

Your own laughter quieted down as the mood became more serious. You drank another gulp of water to quench your suddenly parched throat. 

“Can we talk in the living room?” you asked, heading towards the hallway when Hitoshi nodded. You figured if you were going to have an uncomfortable conversation, you may as well try to find some comfort in your warm and plush sofa.

You sat down at the edge near the armrest and he took a seat not too far from you. There was less than a cushion space separating the two of you and if you were to move a few inches, your thighs would be touching. 

Tearing your gaze away from your legs, you looked up to face Hitoshi. “You don’t have to answer, but… There have been some questions on my mind lately.” 

He nodded, as if expecting you to say that. “Ask away. It’s the least I could do.”

You curled your legs and hugged your knees to your chest, peering at him through your lashes. 

“Okay,” you said somewhat unsurely. Confrontation was never easy. “Why didn’t you tell me you knew who I was? How long were you planning on keeping it from me?”

Hitoshi ran a hand through his hair, tufts of purple sticking out in random patterns. Somehow, it suited him.

“I found out a day or so before you confessed to liking...your mememate,” he admitted. He had told you this through text when you asked, but hearing it a second time didn’t make it hurt any less. “I was going to tell you that day, too. But then you told me you liked me and I didn’t know how to break it to you then.”

You looked away, embarrassed at the reminder of the night you poured your heart out to him. He knew you were his ex the whole time and still didn’t stop you? You scoffed, “Well, you could’ve stopped me before I humiliated myself like that.”

“Humiliate-- How?”

“What do you mean how?” You glared. “I totally embarrassed myself that night by saying how much I liked you--my ex!--only to have you basically reject me on the spot!” 

“I didn’t reject you.”

“I told you that you were the first person I liked since...well you,” you said, rubbing your temples to ease your own confusion. “And you never said it back. Not that you needed to. It’s totally fine that you don’t. It’s just that… I don’t even know. I just wish I never said anything.”

He placed the glass he was holding onto a coaster on your coffee table, shaking his head.

“I’m sorry,” said Hitoshi. “But that’s not it at all. I wasn’t trying to reject you. I would’ve told you I liked you back-- I wanted to, I swear.” 

Your head snapped to his. He wanted to tell you? As in he started liking you too? Even when he didn’t know who you were?

With a wistful smile, he continued, “But it wasn’t fair to you. Not when I knew who you were and you didn’t know who I was. You didn’t deserve that bullshit.” 

You stretched your legs out so they were dangling off the couch, folding one carefully over the other as you crossed your arms. “Then you should’ve just told me the truth about who you were.”

“You’re right. I’m sorry.” He hung his head. “And if I did, you never would’ve told me your feelings.”

“Exactly,” you huffed. “They’d be safe and locked away in my heart until they disappeared.” 

He was silent as you turned his body towards yours, resting his arm on the back cushions of the sofa.

“Is that really what you want, though?” he asked. “You’re so kind and beautiful and you deserve to open your heart to someone and be happy with them.” A flush rose to your cheeks at his sudden words of kindness but you shook it away. “I never knew I hurt you so badly that you were scared to love again-- And I’ll hate myself everyday for that.” 

“Hitoshi…” Your gaze softened. You wanted to reach out and smooth down his hair but you couldn’t. 

He hurt you, yes. But to hate himself and never forgive himself for it? You thought that was far too extreme. 

“When you broke up with me,” you started slowly, unsure how to go about this, “you said that our relationship was nothing more than some cheap dates and sex.” He winced, holding his stomach as if he felt nauseous. “If you’re so regretful now, why did you ever say something like that? Did I really mean nothing to you?” 

“No-- Of course you meant something to me. Y/N, you were everything to me. And it’s ridiculous of me to say this now but I never wanted to hurt you like that,” Hitoshi said, his eyes squeezed shut. “But I did and I’m so sorry. I thought if I told you those mean things you would find it easier to just hate me and move on. Be with Kaminari or someone who could make you happy.” 

You glared at him with both sadness and anger, nails digging into your palms. “I was happy. With you. Is that so hard to believe?”

“A little.”

Taken aback, you stared at him. You weren’t sure what response you were expecting, but it certainly wasn’t that. 

“But not because of anything you did,” he rushed before you could get the wrong idea. “I just thought you were a good person who truly deserved something better than what I could give. You should be with someone who wasn’t anxious and insecure and messed up.” 

You were unsure if you wanted to smack Hitoshi or give him a hug, so you sat there stock-still.

“Even when I saw you with Kaminari, a part of me thought it would be better off that way,” he admitted, a scornful look on his face as he scoffed at himself. “But that wasn’t my call to make, was it? And how I went about it was wrong and dishonest. I’m really sorry.” 

He tugged at a loose thread on the sofa while staring at you in earnest. There were so many things to say and not enough time in the night to say it. 

“You’re right. It wasn’t your call,” you said, furrowing your brows. “I wish you would’ve told me you were feeling this way all those years ago. I loved you--regardless of what you may have thought. And what you said really hurt me.”

“I know. I’m sorry. I fucked up and hurt you more deeply than I could’ve ever imagined. You felt like you couldn’t have feelings for anyone for all those years because of what I did, and if I could take it all back, I would.” 

His hand trembled slightly as he reached out to cup your face, pulling away harshly before he could touch you. 

“You deserve to find love, Y/N. Even if it’s not with me because I know I have no right to anyone’s heart after what I did--”

“Hey, don’t say that!” you interrupted, a wrinkle forming as you scrunched up your nose. You frowned at him. “You deserve to find love again, too. You may have messed up a few times, and I’m not going to pretend like I wasn’t hurt, but I still care about you. A lot. And just because you made some really bad decisions doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to ever be happy.” 

He looked down at his lap, hands curled into fists by his side. You had the sinking suspicion he didn’t believe you.

Swallowing your pride, you inched closer to him, lightly lifting his chin so he stared at you face-to-face. The dark purple of his eyes stormed as a conflicted expression overcame him and you wanted to run a finger over his brow and brush the insecurities away.

Quietly, you whispered, “You’re so worthy of love, Hitoshi. And it makes me so sad that you still haven’t realized it.” 

You felt a piece of your heart chip as he pulled away from you, gritting his teeth as he hung his head. When he spoke, his voice sounded choked, as if he was holding back tears.

“You’ve shown me too much kindness,” he said, words shakey. “Even after I assumed you cheated and broke up with you in the cruelest way possible--” 

His voice cracked and he couldn’t speak. With his gaze avoiding yours he pushed himself off the couch.

“God, I’m sorry,” Hitoshi muttered, his face a look of self-disdain. “I shouldn’t even be here in your life right now. I should just--”

Your hand grabbed the one he used to shove himself off your sofa, holding his fingers tight in between yours. With your head bowed, you called, “Don’t leave again. Not yet.”

He froze in his spot, one leg immobile in front of the other in the direction of the door. Desperately, you tugged at his arm so he looked back at you. Your eyes pleaded with him. This wasn’t the end. It couldn’t be the end until you received your closure and Hitoshi received his. 

“You know that night we played Truth or Drink?” you asked, breaking the silence. 

He stared back at you curiously, slowly sitting down as you patted the seat next to you. Cautiously, he nodded in response.

That night was a pivotal time in bonding with your mememate and it was the closest you had felt with anyone besides your best friends.

Continuing, you said, “You told me about your dad cheating on your mom. And then seeing me and Denki the next day after I lied about who I was with.” 

There was no accusatory tone in your voice, and you stated it as if you were recalling the facts. But still, Hitoshi winced. 

“Yeah, shit.” He placed his palm over his forehead, rubbing at his temple as he grimaced. “I really just jumped to conclusions like that and it was unfair to you. I’m so sorry.”

You didn’t reply to his apology, but gave him a small smile. “That night, I told you I thought your response was understandable. It made sense that you were mistrustful at the time. Especially after just finding out about your parents-- People I know you looked up to. Even in regards to love.” 

Hitoshi wore a guarded expression, but still listened keenly to what you had to say. 

“Toshi… My opinion on that doesn’t change just because I now know it was me you were talking about.” 

“Y/N--”

“Don’t get me wrong,” you clarified, not wanting to sound too lenient. “I’m still hurt that you couldn’t trust me. I wish you confronted me so we could’ve cleared up the misunderstanding. I wish you hadn’t stood me up on our anniversary date. But most importantly… I wish I could have been there for you when you found out about your parents.” 

Hitoshi sat there in silence, mouth opening but unable to form the sentences he wanted. 

You gave him a look of regret, one hand still not letting go of his even as he stayed seated beside you. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be there for you.”

“It’s not your fault. At all.”

As you shook your head, he faltered. “Still, you went to America, alone, and never told anyone what was wrong. You kept all these feelings to yourself this whole time and I hate that so much.” 

“I didn’t want to be a burden to anyone. I don’t deserve to--”

Your fingers twitched. How many times was he going to beat himself while he was already down? 

“Stop saying that!” you snapped, unable to contain your emotions. “You are not a burden. And you deserve so much more than you think you do.” 

His eyes widened at your outburst and his lips parted slightly. 

“It’s good you know what you did was wrong-- You can’t pretend lying and making assumptions was okay because it’s not. But you know it’s not! And you acknowledge that and it seems like you regret it.” Your voice took on a desperate tone as you tried to get Hitoshi to see his mistakes as something separate from his worth as a whole. “You’ve made mistakes, but you can grow from them. Fucking up doesn’t mean you’re undeserving of love and happiness. You don’t have to take all the blame onto yourself.” 

“How can I not take the blame?” he asked, his frustration at himself matching yours. “If I had been a better boyfriend, I would have trusted you more. If I had been a better person, I wouldn’t have lied to you. And maybe if I had been a better son, my parents--”

As if your body had a mind of its own, you threw your arms around him in a hug before he could finish his sentence. You heard a sharp inhale come from him as he sat, rigid.

“Don’t,” you whispered, breathing harshly as you held him tight. “Please, Toshi. Don’t say that. If no one ever told you this, please listen to me then. It’s not your fault. Your parents divorcing has nothing to do with your worth. Don’t blame yourself for the issues they had.” 

His shoulders were still tense despite the shudder of tears you felt.

“You don’t need to blame yourself for everything. Hold yourself accountable, yes. Always strive to be a better person, yes. But don’t think it’s all your fault,” you pleaded. “You don’t have to handle everything on your own. You can lean on someone, Toshi.” You gently stroked the hair on the back of his head. “You can lean on me.” 

At your words, you felt him visibly relax, his body free of the tension as you held him close. 

Suddenly, his arms wrapped around you as he returned your embrace, his strong hands firmly gripping your waist as if he never wanted to let you go. You found yourself loosening up at his touch and you placed your head in his chest. 

Peering up at him through your lashes, you said, “I don’t know if you need to hear this, but I need to say it.” 

His thumb stroked the length of your spine as you continued. 

“I forgive you, Hitoshi. For everything.” He stopped moving as he looked at you in surprise. You simply smiled at him. “Your apologies were genuine and so is your regret. I know you’re a good person and I forgive you, so please stop blaming yourself now.” 

“Thank you, Y/N. So much.” He pulled away ever so slightly, feelings of guilt still flooding him. “But I feel like I still don’t deserve it though--”

A noise of protest bubbled up at your throat. “I swear to god, if I hear the d-word come out of your mouth again, I’ll make you shut up.” After a moment’s pause, you tried to hide your laughter. “Heh. D-word.”

“Oh my god,” he said, his amusement escaping him. With his arms still around your waist, he challenged, “How would you make me shut up?”

You wiggled your eyebrows. “Wouldn’t you like to know.” 

Hitoshi laughed a genuine laugh that you haven’t heard in years. The deep rumble had a smile of your own forming on your lips. 

But the mood turned serious when you gazed into his eyes again.

“Really, though…” you said, squeezing the fabric at his sides. “I’m sorry you’ve been feeling this way for so long without telling anyone. I hope you know you can always talk to me.” 

He tilted his head back, staring at your ceiling as you caught sight of his Adam’s apple. “Why are you being so nice to me after how much I hurt you?”

“Because I care about you,” you answered simply. “And I know you still care about me. You wouldn’t be this hung up over everything if you didn’t.” 

There was a sort of smugness in you as you teased him and he let out a breath of laughter. 

“Hah. I do. I care about you. And I’ve missed you so much.” 

You didn’t think it was possible, but he hugged you even closer to him. Your arms released their embrace on Hitoshi as you brought them to your sides. He looked down at you with a strange expression.

“I’ve missed you, too,” you admitted, squeezing your eyes shut as if it pained you. “You’re the first and only person I’ve ever loved and I miss you more than you could ever know.” 

Your head was bowed at his chest as you tried to steady your trembling hands by grasping the fabric at the front of his shirt.

“Why did you never call me? Why didn’t you tell me you were moving to another continent? Toshi, I loved you so much--” Your voice broke off as the tears you were holding in escaped you. “Why did you leave me?” 

His fingers were laced in your hair, holding you tight. He wanted nothing more than to soothe your tears and hated himself for being the cause of them. “I’m an insecure idiot who fucked up the best thing that ever happened to him.” 

Through the blur of tears, you saw the wistful look on his face. The best thing? you thought to yourself, touched. 

“No amount of apologizing is going to fix anything,” he said, accepting it as a fact, “but I am so sorry. And I want you to know I’m grateful the person who AirDropped me that day was you.”

He lifted your chin and wiped your tears away with the pad of his thumb. Your knees were touching his thighs as you sat down with your legs folded under you, facing him. Letting go of the grip you had on his shirt, you unballed your fists and instead rested your palms on his chest.

You grinned at the audacity of it all. “I still can’t believe that happened. But I’m glad it did, too.”

“Must be a small world.”

“Or maybe it’s fate.” Your hand found his as you interlocked pinkies with him bashfully. 

Hitoshi looked down at your interlaced fingers and a light dusting of pink colored his cheeks. A sense of enjoyment filled you as he continued to blush, a teasing grin playing on your face. 

Before you lost any courage you had, you pressed your lips against the corner of his mouth-- Not quite a kiss but most definitely an invitation for one.

The red on his cheeks died down as his eyes darkened in color, removing his hand from your waist to cup your jaw. Hitoshi’s palm was warm and soft against you and you leaned into his caress.

“Do you feel like you got the closure you needed?” he asked, his voice a whisper as he leaned close to you. 

“Yes.” You nodded, painfully aware of your close proximity. If you were to lift your head up any more, your lips would brush against his. “Do you?”

“Yes.” 

His forehead was pressed against yours and your heart was being so hard, you were certain Hitoshi could hear it from his spot in front of you.

After a moment’s silence, you said, “Now what?” 

He shrugged, eyes shut. “That’s up to you to decide. I’m happy with doing whatever will make you happiest. And if that means leaving you alone and letting you close this chapter, then I--”

You yelped, silencing him with a gentle shove on the chest.

“Are you crazy?” you asked incredulously. “You think I would ever let you go again?” There was frustration in your voice as you resisted the temptation to kiss the stupidity out of him. “I… I mean, unless that’s what you want?” 

“Y/N…” Now he was the one with the tone of disbelief, like he couldn’t wrap his mind around what you had just said. “I’d want to stay with you. For as long as you’d let me.”

“O-Oh?” Your eyes widened in shock, but soon settled into an ecstatic smile. “Fate must have done us a favor with all this AirDrop stuff, huh? I fell for you all those years ago as Shinsou, and I fell for you again without even knowing who you were. There’s no way I’d throw that chance away.” 

Tired of waiting for him to make the first move, you brought your hands to the back of his neck, and lifted your head up to meet his. You spotted an amused look on his face, but it didn’t last very long when your lips finally pressed against his with a contented sigh.

His movements were gentle and slow, like he was afraid if he kissed you any harder he would find this was only an illusion that would shatter. But it wasn’t. It was real and it was genuine and you wanted to prove it to him. 

You broke away from his touch to pepper chaste kisses on his jawline, starting at the lobe of his ear and making your way down to the sensitive part of his throat you knew would drive him crazy, your hot breath blowing against his neck as a guttural sound escaped him.

“Eager, are we?” he asked hoarsely, his chin lifted. 

You grinned mischievously against him.

“As much as I appreciate the gesture,” said Hitoshi, gently pushing you away with a roguish glint in his eyes, “you don’t always have to keep giving. You should be spoiled for a change.”

You squealed when his hands trailed down your sides to cup the undersides of your thighs, lifting you up as you sat down on his lap. His hands unclasped the button that fastened his coat on you and brushed the collar aside, exposing the supple skin on your upper chest.

“You should be spoiled,” he breathed in between each kiss he planted on your decolletage, “every day of your life.”

Your face burned at the implication of his words, the skin his mouth had touched feeling like they were searing hot. Though his jacket had fallen off your shoulders, you were still overwhelmed by his scent, the woodsy citrus filling your senses as you sighed his name and you still couldn’t get enough. He was more intoxicating than any vodka you had consumed earlier that night. 

Growing impatient at his teasing, you squirmed on his lap, causing him to hiss in response. 

You giggled at his expression and stuck your tongue out at him. “Just kiss me already.”

Tossing his inhibitions to the side, he obliged. 

When your lips met again, this time it wasn’t uncertain and gentle. Each move Hitoshi made was firm and deliberate and if you weren’t already sitting down, your knees would have gone weak and given in.

His teeth grazed your lower lip and he kissed you harder, and your hands found themselves tangled underneath the hem of his shirt. The skin on your arms filled with goosebumps as he mimicked your motions, his fingers toying with the clasp of your bra as his name escaped your lips once more in a strangled moan.

Before it could go any further, however, Hitoshi removed his hands from the band of your undergarments and slowly pulled away from your kiss. 

His face was flushed with beads of sweat falling down the side and his breathing was labored. You were certain you weren’t any better as you rested your forehead against his to steady yourself. 

“Why’d you stop?” you asked with a strained voice, giving him your best pleading eyes.

“It’s late and you need some rest, baby.” He pressed a soft kiss to your nose with a smile. “I don’t want to stop--believe me,” he promised, his hands squeezing your thighs that still straddled his lap, “but I also don’t want you to rush into anything you might regret.” 

You pouted, not wanting him to stop, but also feeling grateful he wanted to make sure you weren’t going to do anything you would regret the next day.

“Damn you for being such a gentleman,” you grumbled. 

He ran the tip of his tongue against his lower lip. It was plump and red and it took all your willpower not to kiss it again.

“Only sometimes, princess,” he said when he noticed how your gaze zeroed in on his mouth. “But for now, you should get ready for bed. The sun is almost rising already.” 

Hitoshi made a move to get up and you slowly unwrapped your legs from his hips, standing up shakily. He placed his hands on your hips to help you steady yourself, but that just made the weakness worse. 

Still holding you, he stood up from the couch and looked down at you, resting his chin on the top of your head as you hugged him. 

“You’re leaving?” you whimpered, a pout on your face. 

“Sadly,” he sighed. “I have work tomorrow. Well, in a few hours I suppose. But if you need me to stay I--”

“Oh, my god!” you cried, jumping away from him. “You have work? And yet you still came for me and let me keep you this whole time?! Toshi!” 

You folded your arms across your chest as you scolded him, but he just ruffled your hair playfully. 

“It was the least I could do,” said Hitoshi. “And I’m used to running on little to no sleep. It’s fine, don’t worry about me.” 

“It’s not fine! If you don’t get enough sleep this week I will smother you until you pass out.” You glared at him, holding his face between your hands and examining his tired eyes. Your gaze softened when you saw how sleepy he looked and thought about how well he hid it from everyone. You sighed. “And I think you’re a lot more selfless and caring than you give yourself credit for.” 

You kissed the apples of his cheeks and smoothed his brows. 

“Thank you for tonight,” you said. “You should get going.”

“No, you’re the one I should be thanking,” he replied, giving you one last embrace before getting ready to head towards the door. 

Both of your legs felt like lead, neither of you wanting to leave the other after years of being apart. With a smile, he moved towards the door. 

In silence, you examined him for the first time in four years. He was taller than before-- Bulkier, too. It looked like he worked out since he was in college, his plain shirt stretching against his pectoral muscles. 

But still, he was the same Shinsou Hitoshi you had always loved. 

You glanced at his bared arms and your eyes widened. “Oh, wait--! Your coat!” 

It had fallen off your shoulders and onto the floor during the heat of the moment, and you picked it up and brought it to him. As you held it out, his hands wrapped your outstretched ones around the fabric of his sweater. 

“No, it’s okay,” he said with a shake of his head and a small grin on his lips. “You should keep it. It suits you.”

You raised an eyebrow at him in warning, but hugged the coat to your body nonetheless. “I hope you know this means I’m never giving it back to you now.” 

Hitoshi laughed. “I figured.”

He was about to grab the door knob when you blurted, “O-Or maybe I could give it back to you! If we were to, I don’t know, meet up for some food this week?” 

Turning back in surprise, he was met with a look of utter embarrassment on your face. Your cheeks felt like they were on fire. 

You bit your lip, unsure what had just come over you when you asked him on a date but also not regretting it for a moment. 

“Only if you want,” you murmured, suddenly feeling more bashful. 

Taking the hint, Hitoshi looked at you with a mix of wonder and amusement. “Sure. I’ll get some food with you just to have my coat back.” 

You gasped, cheeks burning. “You know what? Never mind, I’m keeping this--!”

“I’m kidding,” he laughed, tone still teasing. “The jacket is just a bonus. What I’d really be there for is...the food.”

You buried your head in your hands and sighed. “I-- Why do I have to like you?” 

He shrugged, feeling just as lost as you were. “Because feelings are strange.” 

“They are,” you agreed. “But they’re worth it. And so are you.”

Hitoshi smiled as you gave him a gentle kiss goodnight. 

“Have a safe drive home, Toshi.”

“Thank you. Go get some sleep now, kitten. We can talk when you wake up.” 

You nodded feverishly, almost bouncing in anticipation at the thought of talking to him again. “I’m going to sleep right now so I wake up faster and get to talk to you sooner.”

A chuckle of surprise left his lips before he could stop himself. “You’re such a dork, you know? But I love that about you.”

Your face heated at the sound of the l-word as the two of you stared at each other, both in shock that the night happened and even happier that it did. 

“I… I should go now,” he said in a daze. He didn’t want to leave and you didn’t want him to, but you knew he had work soon. 

You nodded, waving at him as he left your house. “See you soon, Hitoshi.”

When the door closed shut behind him, you slumped a little. Tired and exhausted yet wishing you could see him soon. Though it might have been foolish, you couldn’t help but wish he was feeling the same.

Grabbing your phone on the coffee table, you unlocked it to check the time. You were about to shut it off and put it in your pocket when a notification bubble popped up on your screen.

“AirDrop: mememate would like to share a note,” it read, and a grin spread across your lips as you eagerly pressed accept. 

The notepad application immediately opened up on your phone and you read the small message on the off-white display.

mememate: can’t wait for our date, y/n. p.s. i really really like you.

Letting out a surprised cry of joy, you held your phone to your chest, hugging it along with Hitoshi’s jacket he had left you. 

From the other side of the door, Hitoshi had heard your scream and responded with a laugh of his own. A feeling of warmth in his heart as he placed his phone in his pocket and headed for his car. Thank goodness for AirDrop. 

Your heart was pounding and your lips were still pulsing from the way he kissed you. Even as you got ready for bed and drifted off into a restful sleep, the silly smile never fell from your face. 

You were grateful he came to get you at the nightclub, and you were grateful he was the recipient of your memes that day at the amusement park. 

He made mistakes in the past and you were no saint either, but you had an opportunity to heal those wounds and be with Hitoshi again. 

And you just couldn’t wait for your next date together. 

a/n: AHHH THAT WAS A LOT,, pls let me know what you think! i know some readers never want to forgive shinsou at all and that’s okay, but i do think y/n forgives him and still really cares about him [and maybe l-words him? o.o] so i hope u support it 🥺 ilysm and thank you for reading! lmk ur thoughts !! xx 

[aki-mochi]

Levi x Reader: Drunk Love

WARNING: NSFW!! Levi stood there, completely nude, in front of Erwin and Hanji as he covered his stuff while avoiding their gazes. His cheeks turning pink with his hair messy with fly-aways in every direction and his body covered in bites and hickeys. Erwin stood in Levi's living room, not amused, while Hanji was laughing until she was in tears.

"Sooo...you wanna tell me why you are...?" Erwin trailed off.

"I dunno....I-I...just woke up like this...."

"You were drinking last night, huh?" Erwin asked, more like stated.

"A little...." he mumbled, then clicked his tongue.

"Woooow Levi~!" Hanji laughed more.

"Shut up" Levi slightly growled as he tried to remember his actions last night.

~flashback~

Levi sat at a table in a bar with a few of his friends and co-workers, passing time and attempting to get away from the stress of work. Eren, who happened to be one of his best workers, offered him some food while drinking his drink. No sooner did another song start to play, a familiar woman entered the bar with Mikasa.

"I've never been in a bar.” Mikasa stated.

"We can't buy alcoholic beverages so we can just have water and some food. Give us some free time from all the work we've been asked to do." Y/n replied.

She nodded in agreement, looking around at her surroundings only to see the men at Levi's table looking towards them. Truth be told, Y/n and Mikasa worked in the same building as Levi, just on different floors. The two had met on a few occasions and even had small talk in the elevator whenever they were going to the same floor for meetings, but never actually got close to one another.

Levi glanced at the two as they came in and made a bit of a face. "I guess they're getting the same thing you are, Eren." He smirked behind his glass as he looked at Eren's drink suited for him being underaged. Eren pouted and gave somewhat of a glare towards his boss. "If you weren't my boss, and I wanted to not get fired, I'd slap you like I do Horse-face." He mumbled in his glass of apple juice.

"You sound like you're plenty drunk on apples," Levi stated as he set his glass down. "Now you finally have a chance to talk to that girl. I've seen you eyeing her at work." Hearing his comment, Eren did a spit-take with his drink; coughing and pounding his chest a bit. Once he got his breath back, he looked at Levi like he grew two heads.

"Are you insane or drunk?!" He slightly yelled in a whispered tone.

"I'm neither. You shout about being better at your job than The Titan Company down the road but you can't even talk to a girl."

"Yeah?! W-well what about the girl you stare at?! You seem like you stalk her!"

"The only time I even see her is on the elevator. Are you sure you aren't drinking beer?" Levi retorted.

"I'm underage to be drinking unless someone spiked it when I wasn't looking." Eren calmly stated as he took another drink.

"If no one did, they might need to so you can actually grow some balls for at least an hour and act like a man instead of a loud little kid."

Eren glared. "Shut the hell up....I do act mature. Just on some levels." He, then, turned away to stare at the ebony female with a slight blush on his slightly dark skin.

”Can you prove that?" Levi smirked at Eren's attitude.

"What did you say?" Eren growled, thinking his boss is picking a fight when he doesn't feel like throwing a punch while Mikasa is here.

"I said to prove that you aren't a child and go talk to her," Levi told him.

"Fine. I will." He suddenly stood up and walked towards the two sisters, feeling confident in his moves. Levi smirked as he watched, wanting to see how much of a train wreck it would turn into. But the minute Eren was only five steps away, he froze. His face turned a sheer scarlet red and felt his palms get sweaty. But what he didn't expect to happen, was that Mikasa noticed him and gave a small wave to him, making him lose his cool and speed-walking back to his seat before face planting the table. Mikasa flushed a faint pink but couldn't help to give a minuscule smirk from his failure to walk over.

"You’re a wuss" Levi muttered.

"Fuck you....." Eren mumbled against the table.

Levi smirked and took a sip of his whiskey before standing. "Let me show you how it's done," he stated as Eren groaned and watched him as he made his way towards the girls.

Levi walked over to the older of the two with a confident stride, the alcohol taking the edge off of his normal attitude. Y/n was too busy talking to Mikasa to notice him. Taking a french fry off her plate, she ate it and smiled as she was talking about her latest masterpiece for the company due to being in the advertising department. Mikasa mentioned a work project that’s due next week before looking over Y/n's shoulder to see the male.

"This seat taken?" Levi asked.

Y/n turned towards the voice of the male and her eyes widened. "M-Mr. Ackerman....! It's nice to see you again." She smiled softly at him.

"The same to you" he stated. "We don't see each other often. I thought we could talk."

"Of course! Come sit with me!" She smiled and patted the seat on the other side of her. He gladly sat, looking towards Eren and winking in success mainly to show off before talking to the two women. Eren growled and slammed his hands on the table and walked over once more before offering a hand at the grey-eyed female.

"May I sit with the beauty who I'm looking at~?" He asked with a smile.

Mikasa looked and blushed brightly at his words but nodded. “Sure."

With a small hum, Eren sat beside her before gently holding her waist to bring her closer to him. Her blush darkened, looking at her plate of food like it was the most interesting thing in the world.

Y/n eyed the boy, a little surprised at his actions before drinking her iced water, smirking behind her glass as she knew Mikasa has a crush on him. Levi rolled his eyes, ignoring Eren as he talked to Y/n, keeping up a conversation about her interests. About an hour later, Levi was not feeling like his usual self. His cheeks were flushed while his eyes were dilated, black pupils taking up more of his steel-blue corneas. Y/n had offered to take him home while Mikasa stayed with Eren since he's completely sober. After that, Mikasa waved as she left with the green-eyed boy.

He tried to refuse, saying he was fine but she insisted, eventually giving up as he slumped over the table. Y/n slung one of Levi's arms around her neck; the other around his waist while leading him outside. Digging in his back pocket for his wallet and keys, she pressed a button to activate its panic alarm. Upon hearing a frantic horn, she turned to her left to see the flashing lights of a sleek black Ford Mustang. After calming the automobile, she gently helped a drunk Levi into the passenger side before slipping herself behind the wheel. Y/n opened up his wallet and found a small piece of paper with his name and address written in beautiful cursive. Pulling up the GPS on her phone, she punched in his home address to help her navigate before revving up the engine and beginning to drive to him home.

Levi did his best to keep the alcohol's side effects from taking over, grinning as he remembered the feeling of her hand in his pocket but stayed quiet until they got to his house. Once Y/n had gotten him out of his car and into his house, after she had unlocked the door with his keys, she walked him to his room and placed him in bed. She gave a small huff from how heavy he is for a short man. As she tried to leave the room, Levi had grabbed her wrist to keep her in place.

"(Y/n)," he muttered.

"Levi. You're drunk. You need to rest." She said softly so as not to hurt his pounding head.

"Only if you rest with me." He said, not because of how many shots he’s had, but because he’s wanted her since the first day he saw her and this was the only way he could get himself to say it. Y/n smiled and pried his hand off her arm so she could help him get comfortable by stripping him of his clothes. Y/n flushed a scarlet red when he was now only in his briefs which held a proud tent.

He smirked a bit as he watched her. "You can look if you want"

"I-I rather not, thank you...." she stuttered before going to find him some bed clothes he could wear; giving him time to look over her body that was shown by the jeans and shirt she's wearing. Her hair pulled up into a ponytail and her feet dressed in regular tennis shoes. He blushed from more than the booze in his system as he looked over her, letting her help him dress before laying in the bed with him. Y/n covered him up along with herself and sighed softly as she turned her back to him so she can sleep since it's after midnight.

But with Levi still drunk, he couldn't go to sleep. No. He didn’t want to go to sleep. He had a beautiful woman in his bed and he wanted her to be his woman. No one else’s. Levi took advantage of his drunk state and suddenly rolled Y/n onto her back, pinning her to the bed. She blinked, shocked from his sudden actions.

"L-Levi....?" she stuttered.

"Y/n.....~” he purred in her ear while sliding his hands up her shirt, making her shiver at his cold slender hands on her heated skin. "Let me love you," he whispered before colliding her lips with his own, making her body stiffen. She soon felt intoxicated by his touch and kissed him back, craving for more as she entangled her fingers into his soft black hair as she moaned.

Levi kissed her deeply as his hands made their way to her breasts, feeling the soft flesh against his skin. Arching her back at the feeling, she pulled away from his lips for air but gasping the minute he latches his own to her sensitive neck. She moaned his name when he bit her neck then pulled back with a smirk. Y/n looked down to see that Levi had, somehow, stripped her bare naked without her noticing. Trailing kisses down her body, she moaned and ran her fingers through his hair again as she closed her legs when he got between them. He rubbed her thighs soothingly before kissing them to help her relax. Once he thought she was ready, Levi opened her legs and placed his head between them. His tongue slid along her folds before flicking at her clit. Her hips jolted upwards while her fingers tugged at his hair, giving loud lewd moans.

Levi smirked and started to go faster, making her squirm and squeal in complete ecstasy as he tasted every inch of her. He then sucked her bundle of nerves into his mouth as his tongue did wonders. Y/n panted as she arched her back off the bed while her head flew back into the pillows, desperately wanting to move away but his hands held her down in place as he ravished her more. His teeth gently grazed her clit, making her lose control of the volume of her moans as they got even louder before she finally released with a squeak. But Levi kept going, making her beg as he continued to drain her of every drop before pulling off with a small pop. A trembling Y/n laid there panting heavily as Levi licked her clean, sitting up to look down at the beautiful sight under him. Levi chuckled and laid beside her with his arm draped over her waist.

Y/n calmed down from her overstimulated high before she made the bold move to pin him to the bed instead. Levi looked up at her in slight shock from the sudden move before his breath started to hitch when she started to rub the bulge in his pants. She hummed and stripped him bare of any clothes before suddenly going down to suck his cock. Levi's hips bucked at the sudden pleasure of her hot mouth on him, panting as he felt her tongue do circles around the tip.

"(Y-Y/n)~" Levi moaned as he gripped the sheets. "Ngh...! I-I'm gonna....! Ah!" he gave a loud moan as he came in her mouth. Y/n swallowed it all, a little disappointed that he came that quick, and sat up before marking him in hickeys and love bites, loving the sounds that were coming from his mouth. After she was satisfied with her work, she straddled his hips before pushing herself onto him, making her gasp and him moan. When she felt comfortable, she bounced on him as her hands rested on his chest. Loud slapping noises of skin colliding and loud moans filled the room. Y/n decided to bounce faster and go all the way down, earning her a loud moan from Levi as he gripped her hips to help her keep steady.

Pretty soon they both hit their high and came together. Y/n collapsed onto Levi's chest, panting heavily as he held her close to him. Having to pull out, he laid both their bodies on the bed and pulled her to his chest after covering them both with the blanket and going to sleep.

~back to the present~

Y/n walked out of the bathroom only to see a naked Levi standing there, in front of his boss and co-worker as he tried to suppress his blush. Smirking, the said female walked over and wrapped her arms around his waist from behind and satisfied hum.

"Don't worry, Mr. Smith~. Levi was a good boy last night with all the moans I made him do~."

At that, Hanji ran out with Erwin on her tail, trying to suppress their nose bleeds while Levi was a blushing mess at the moment from her comment. Y/n laughed at his reaction and kissed him briefly before giving him a warm smile and going to make breakfast. Levi sighed as he went back to his room to get dressed.

'Maybe getting drunk wasn't so bad after all......'

[yutahoes]

Love and Letter

pairing : college student! Yuta Nakamoto x secret admirer

word count : 4.5k words

genre : fluff

summary : A series of letters melt the anti-love’s heart.

warnings : cursing

For the “...dear you” collab hosted by @theje0ngs 😄

I had fun writing for this story. I’m sorry if I posted this early, I’m just so excited to show this to you. Please enjoy and leave feedback. 😁

Nakamoto Yuta. The perfect embodiment of the rebel guy moms would always remind young girls to get away from. Pierced ears, long hair that defies the school rule, a scowl on his face as if hating everyone which he does. A total rebel that is feared by students and teachers alike. The classic bad guy who never showed up for classes, only staying a minute for attendance roll call then skipping. 

And he wanted it to stay like this for the whole year. 

Why does he have to attend Creative Literature class when he’s not even a Literature major? Annoyed, he pushed the door of his locker and was startled when a piece of paper fell from the said locker. His name was written in front in cursive form. To say that he’s not intrigued is a total lie but he waited until he was seated in class when he unfolded the paper. 

‘Hi, Yuta. 

Please don’t be alarmed, I’m not a bad person. 

I notice you a lot in the school hallways and honestly, you’re a little scary. 

I know you’re a nice person. Please lighten up a bit.

XOXO,🍎’

A chuckle escaped his lips. Just a little scary? Him? A nice person? Isn’t this weird? Who in their right mind would make an absurd letter like this? 

But a smile escaped his lips as his mind drifted on the letter in his pocket. Should he start smiling more? Talk to some classmates? Maybe he can find out who wrote the letter. Fuck, this is so dangerous. 

Although it is ultimately different from his usual aura, he greeted the discipline director waiting by the school gate. He also gave a bow to the teachers he passed, smiling lightly at his classmates he only recognized by faces. They were obviously surprised at the sudden shift in his attitude but greeted him as well. By lunchtime, he was hanging out with the guys in his Physics class and laughing at their jokes.   

‘I don’t know if you received my letter the first time but I noticed that you’ve been a little brighter and that you’ve been hanging out with some friends. 

That’s nice. 

I’m happy to see you happier. 

Thank you for making my days brighter, Yuta.

XOXO,🍎’

Yuta smiled. But it was the letter sender who made his days brighter. Does that person like him so much? Or is this something that is made up? He doesn’t want to know but he liked the feeling of receiving the letter. 

He’s used to it by now, saying good morning to the school guard and the discipline director before entering the school gate. He would smile at the other students who were early for class, even helping some with their things. 

Every morning, he would pass by the school’s soccer field. His turf back in high school. If only he continued playing soccer, maybe he can be a part of the team and defeat these guys with terrible form. He smiled while rubbing the back of his head, walking to where the Arts building is. Soccer isn’t for him. 

‘Do you like Messi? 

I noticed you’ve always stopped by the soccer field every morning. 

Maybe you can try out for the soccer team. Didn’t you use to play for the team back in high school? 

It will be cool to see you play again.

XOXO,🍎’ 

He glanced around to see if someone was watching him read the letter but the students are busy with their own things. That person knows that he plays soccer back in high school? Is that person a schoolmate from before? But he’ll have a hard time locating who it is considering that he went to a local high school near the university. 

Is this a sign from above? Should he really try out for soccer? He did miss the feeling of the ball in his feet, the smell of the grassy field, and the excitement it brought him. Why did he even stop playing for a girl who never cared about him?

With the letter in his pocket, Yuta got accepted in the soccer team. The coach even thanked him repeatedly for changing his mind, claiming that he had been coaxing Yuta into applying since his freshman days. The guy only smiled, rubbing his head while apologizing. “The soccer golden boy is back.” And he is. He’s happy to be back. 

But training is so tedious that it startled him. Back in high school, training is such a piece of cake. Why did you have to run fifty laps around the field now? Maybe his body is really startled that for the first time in his college life, he got sick. For two days, he skipped school and just stay at home to rest. Now, he’s debating if playing soccer is all worth it. Should he quit? But he just started. Can his body take on this intense training? 

His friends were greeting him when he returned to school. The other guys from the soccer team teasing him that it’s like that at the first time but he’ll get over this. Hopefully, he will. There isn’t a letter in his locker that made him feel odd. Well, what did he expect? Maybe it already stopped. But he kinda liked it. Even looking forward to it every morning. 

“Dude, you have to attend creative literature tomorrow.” Jungwoo, one of his classmates on the said subject claimed. “We already paired for the project. Your partner seemed really down.” 

Yuta laughed at that. “Who is my partner?” 

“Y/N. She always comes early in class, sitting on the back row.” 

“A girl? Can’t I pair up with you instead?” He revolted quickly that made his friend reason out that nothing will be done if they pair up for the project even asking him the golden question of all, ‘Why are you so scared of girls?’ But Yuta just shrugged, not wanting to explain it to him. 

‘An apple a day keeps the doctor away. 

I’m glad you’re feeling fine and that you’re back in class. 

Also, the apple juice from the vendo machine tastes great. 

I hope you’re not allergic to apples.’

XOXO,🍎’

Funny, that person will say that. He isn’t. And it’s not bad to try it out. 

When he entered the room for their creative literature class, he immediately saw the girl Jungwoo was describing with her face buried in the book. Why is he even scared of talking to a girl? 

Yuta breathed hard before sitting beside her. “Y/N? Am I correct?” He asked which made the girl turn to him. Yuta handed her the same apple juice he’s drinking. “I’m Yuta Nakamoto and we’re partners for the project?” 

The girl nodded, thanking him for the drink. “It’s an epistolary piece we should make…” 

“Epis…? What?” 

She lightly giggled at that which made him stare. “Epistolary.” She said emphasizing all syllables. “It’s a letter-type fiction. We write a story using letters.” Yuta nodded at that. Letters. “I have the idea already but since it’s a pair project, I can’t start on it until I show you.” 

Can’t she show it now? Can she just do the project without his help or without talking to each other? “Do you want to discuss it after class? I’ll be in the library if…” 

“I have soccer practice.” He immediately said that made her stop. He gave her his phone, asking if they can just talk through messages that made her nod, typing her number in. The moment she returned the phone, he immediately stood up to talk to his friend, Taeyong, in the first row.

---------

“You just ditched her?” Taeyong asked that made Yuta ruffle his hair. He shouldn’t have told him. “That’s a pair project, Nakamoto. You’ll both get a zero if you don’t cooperate.” 

Yuta showed the text message he shared with Y/N. “She said she’ll just do it. She’s smart. She can do it.” 

The other shook his head. “Why can’t you just talk to her? Y/N isn’t bad. The thing you’re scared of with girls. I’m sure Y/N isn’t like that.” He raised an eyebrow at him. “All I’m saying is that you should stop being this total jerk on her. He’s not like your ex, Yuta.” That took his attention. How did he know that? “There are talks around.” But before he could ask him to elaborate, Taeyong turned a sharp left. 

The rain was falling hard that made Yuta sigh while taking out his umbrella. Soccer practice ended early because of the muddy ground that made him hate the rain. Today, of all days? He just returned from sickness and yet there’s no training. As he neared the steps of the building, he saw a familiar girl with her hand held out in the pouring rain. “Y/N.” he called. 

The girl gave him a timid smile before returning to what she was doing. Weird. Does she love the rain so much? “Do you have an umbrella?” He asked that made her shake her head. “Do you want to share? I can walk you to the bus stop.” 

“It’s fine, Yuta.” Y/N whispered while shaking her head. Once again, she started playing with the droplets of rain. Truly odd. Maybe Taeyong is right, she really is different. Yuta handed the umbrella that startled her, “Yuta!” But he was already running in the rain. Shit, he might get sick again with this. 

‘It’s been raining non-stop this past few days. It’s so gloomy. 

Also, I learned a new word today.

Niwakaame. 

Isn’t it Japanese? 

Rain Shower. 

I love the rain shower. 

How about you? I hope you don’t hate the rain as much. 

It helps water the plants, you know?

XOXO,🍎’  

A giggle escaped his lips. It does, doesn’t it? 

He just had a reason to like the rain. 

Since soccer practices had been on hold because of the rainy weather, he would always find himself in the library working on that epistolary piece with Y/N. She would always type her ideas and he would check if it was alright. But really, what does he know about all of this? 

He was just thankful that she became his partner, she's really smart and creative. He'll probably pass creative literature with ease because of her help. Another thing is that she never talks when she's in front of her laptop and he was thankful that she's saving them from awkwardness. 

He put on the straw of the apple juice before slipping it beside her notebook. Yuta returned to his comic book when he heard her say in a soft voice, "I didn't know you like apples." Yeah, he honestly didn't know that he did either. 

‘Soccer is such a boring sport for me before. Why does it take so long for players to score a goal? 

But watching you play, scoring that goal in the last minute, I’ve never felt that thrill and happiness before. 

Congratulations! 

And if no one told you this before, I guess I’ll have to tell you now. 

You are really cool, Yuta Nakamoto!

XOXO,🍎’   

The class was cheering with excitement when Yuta entered the room, everyone was congratulating him for the amazing game. He beamed happily, thanking them as he poked a straw to the apple juice he was holding and putting it on Y/N’s table but she didn’t even look at him and was just typing in front of her laptop. 

“You’re being chummy with her.” Taeyong claimed while elbowing his side. “So what’s special about Y/N that she’s the only girl you talk to?” 

Yuta had to laugh, voice resonating to the whole room. Instead of the professor, it was the TA who came for class. He just asked them to talk with their partners that made the class scrambled on their seats. Yuta sat beside Y/N who kept on typing in her laptop as if not caring about anything. “Y/N.” He called softly. “Are you alright?” 

The girl almost screamed when Yuta held her shoulder. “Yuta?” She called then stared around. “I’m sorry. Is the class starting?” She immediately put down the screen of her laptop while biting her thumb. 

“The prof isn’t here. The TA just wanted the pairs to talk about the idea.” She whispered an ‘oh, I see’ before putting out her laptop which opened a document. “You seemed busy.” 

“Paper due today.” She answered while typing, bouncing her legs while she bit her lip. 

The TA started walking around the room to see what the students are doing which made Y/N close the document, groaning when she failed to save it. The girl bumped her head to the desk that surprised Yuta. “You can type your paper and pretend to listen to me.” Yuta suggested that made her look at him. There were tears in her eyes. “Just pretend that I’m telling you the story.” 

Y/N wiped her eyes then breathed hard before opening her laptop to start with her work. Yuta smiled when she started typing words on her laptop. “Someone is giving me letters.” But her typing didn’t stop and he wondered if she was even listening to him. “I don’t know why but that person gives me comfort all the time.” The TA approached their table and she started typing at a slow pace as he continued talking to her, “I always wait for that person’s letters every morning.” 

When the TA passed, Y/N returned to her usual typing that made Yuta shrug and just watch as she focused on her work. Maybe she isn’t interested in hearing his story but it feels good that he got this chance to tell someone about the mystery sender always giving him smiles. He placed his head on the table, facing her. “I hope you meet your letter sender, superstar.” Y/N said without looking away from her laptop. And he wished he did too. 

‘Ureshii. 

I’m happy you’re always happy, Yuta. 

I’m happy to hear your laugh echo in our room. I’m happy to see you smiling at everyone you pass by. 

I’m happy you’re coming to class and enjoying soccer. 

I’m really happy for you, Yuta.

XOXO,🍎’

A smirk appeared on his lips, so this person is in the same class as him? He usually passes by this person as well. He really wants to see this person once and thank him or her. 

A thought passed his mind. What if the sender is a girl? Can he actually talk to her? Maybe not. This is probably better. That he’s curious about the mystery letter sender. 

It was the midterm week. Everyone is super busy with the things they have to do, college life is so fast-paced that it scared Yuta. He’s used to getting left behind but what if he gets too left behind? He’s not super smart, not even studious. And a failing grade meant an automatic expulsion from the soccer team which he slowly grew to love. He should just be back from his usual rebel phase. 

The thing he was scared of happened because of Math, specifically Trigonometry. He had to admit that he was blank the whole time, the result of not going to class during the first few months of school. What’s more annoying is seeing everyone’s score on the bulletin board and his fifteen points in Math. 

“Take a tutorial class and retake the exam. It isn’t that hard.” The soccer coach said. “I don’t want to expel you in the team, golden boy.” But most of the tutors are all girls which scared him the most. Yet he didn’t want to fail. 

As he skimmed the possible Math tutors to help him, his eyes fell on one specific girl that he knew who could help him. The only girl he could talk to. 

‘Keep your head up. 

It’s Math. It is naturally hard. 

Don’t beat yourself up instead focus on what you did. 

You solved an entire equation, fifteen of it and that’s admirable already. 

Keep it up, Yuta! You’ve done a great job. 

XOXO,🍎’ 

“This answer is wrong, superstar.” Y/N claimed, circling her pencil to the number two which Yuta got as an answer. The guy looked at it curiously, sighing hard while bumping his head on the table that earned looks from everyone inside the coffee shop. The girl had to giggle at him before closing her book, “We can rest if you want.” 

Yuta followed her by closing the book then drank his apple juice that made her shake her head. “Y/N, do you remember the letter sender I told you about?” He asked before leaning his head on top of the books. The girl only nodded in answer. “Should I meet him?” 

“Him? Your mystery sender is a guy?” 

The guy shrugged. “But I want to think that the sender is a he so I won’t get too nervous.” But Y/N only gave him a confused look. “I’m not good with talking to girls. I mean, I’m really scared of holding a conversation with them especially after I broke up with my girlfriend.” Yuta breathed before continuing, “She gets jealous even if I just smile at another girl and maybe that was when the trauma started. When we broke up, I just can’t shake it off. I feel like it’s wrong for me to be talking to a girl.” 

Y/N nodded. “Well, you just told that whole sentence to me. And I’m a girl.” 

“Oh shit!” Yuta exclaimed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. Please don’t be offended.” Y/N shook her head, smiling at him. “I think you’re really pretty and smart.” 

“You think I’m friendly?” He gave her a confused look. Friendly? But he clearly said pretty. Yuta chuckled before nodding at her. 

It was Y/N’s idea to give the mystery sender a response in a form of a letter, just Yuta saying that he’s thankful for the letters the sender gave him. He even shared how he liked Keisuke Honda better than Messi, how he thinks the apple juice from the vendo machine is the best drink there is in school, and how he started to think of the rain in a better light. He thanked the sender for encouraging him to study Math and the support he got from playing soccer. By the end of the letter, he told the sender that he will wait in a coffee shop to meet him or her so he can properly thank him or her. 

"Y/N!" Yuta called while running in the hallway to where she was. He kept bumping on other students, apologizing quickly to them. "Y/N! He took the letter." She shrugged, looking at him confused. "Do you think he'll come to the coffee shop and meet me?" 

"Did you tell her that?" He leaned beside your locker while she took out books for her consecutive classes. 

Yuta nodded, taking her books for him to carry. "I'm nervous. What should I do?" Y/N was startled at the action. "What if the sender is a she? How can I even talk to her?" 

The girl giggled. "Like how you're talking to me, Yuta." 

He stopped walking and she was steps ahead when she noticed Yuta was gone. "Can you come with me later?" 

Y/N sighed, shaking her head at him. “You can do this, superstar.” 

--------

Yuta was so nervous that he kept on ordering water to ease his nerves. Every time the chimes of the door ring, he would stare at the door and hope that it was the letter sender. He lightly glanced at his wristwatch, it's been an hour. Will that person even come? 

He's in his fifth cup of coffee, almost two hours have passed since the time he told the person in the letter. Yuta had already given up. Maybe she wouldn't come. He was about to stand up when Jungwoo came inside the coffee shop and sat in front of him. The younger guy handed him a folded piece of paper, "Someone wants to give you this." 

"You know who it is?" 

He nodded, "I saw her putting the letter in your locker once." Her? "But Yuta please know that she has her reasons why she doesn't want you to meet her." 

"Can you just tell me who she is?" Jungwoo shook his head, apologizing before standing up to leave Yuta alone. 

‘I received your letter and I’m so sorry for not coming to meet you. 

I’m scared. I don’t know why but I am. 

I don’t want to erase your smile when you find out that this is just me, I appreciate your letter, I really do. 

And I’ll treasure it all my life. Thank you, Yuta. I’m sorry.

XOXO,🍎’ 

That's it? He won't get to know who she was. He cannot thank her for giving him something to look forward to every time. Is it possible to have your heart broken before it can even beat for a person? 

Creative Literature class. Today is the last day of submitting the epistolary piece he and Y/N had been working on. He did the usual morning routine, go to the vendo and pick up a juice for him and her. But he can't seem to find the courage to push the button for the apple one so he settled to the orange-flavored juice. "Shit!" he cursed. He never knew Y/N's favorite juice flavor. He would always give her the apple flavored one. So with a heavy heart, he settled on the apple one. 

Weird, he thought. It's almost time and Y/N isn't here yet. Taeyong entered the room and placed a folder in front of Yuta. "Y/N wanted to give you this." He was startled. There's always something fishy about Taeyong and Y/N so he asked him the question that's always bugging him. The other guy chuckled, "We're cousins, stupid." Taeyong supplied that made Yuta nod. He didn't know that. 

"Where is she?" Yuta asked while opening the folder. There's a page full of computerized words, the story she wrote. "Is she sick?" Five pages of the story and on the last page, hers and his names are written in her handwriting. 

"She didn't tell you?" Yuta shook his head in a questioning manner. "She's going to New York for the Exchange Student Program. It's her flight today." 

Yuta skimmed the contents of the epistolary piece she made then focused on the handwriting. Why did it take him so long to realize everything? Taeyong called for his name but he was already outside the door of their classroom. He heard Jungwoo calling him but he was already out of the gates and hailed a cab. "Airport. Please step on it." 

He took out the letters that he kept in his notebook, nine different letters to be exact. Yuta smiled seeing the hidden message in the letters. She cannot hide from him anymore. "Where are you?" Yuta asked when she answered the phone, his foot stepped inside the crowded airport. 

"Airport?" He answered 'I know', "Gate four."

"Wait for me there." She called for his name but he was already running to where she was, putting the phone in his pocket. "Y/N!" he called which made the girl turn to where he is. He lightly bowed at her parents, asking if he can talk to Y/N for a while. 

"It's you, isn't it? The letters." He asked which made the girl stop. "Why didn't you just tell me?" Then he shook his head. "After confessing, you're just going to leave me?" 

The girl giggled at that. "It's just for two months, don't overreact." The guy breathed hard. "Did Jungwoo tell you?" 

"I saw the pattern with the epistolary you did. Saw how you wrote my name and realized you never told me the juice you wanted and just went with the apple juice I always gave you." The girl smiled then he showed the nine letters he was holding. "Why the hell are you so smart that you have to put a secret message in your letters?" The girl giggled. 

The announcement for the plane passengers heading to New York can be heard, "I have to board, Yuta. I'll see you when…" 

But he pulled her closer, wrapping her in his arms. "I like you too, Y/N." A final call for the passengers can be heard and he hesitatingly let go of her. "I'll message you every day." Y/N nodded before saying goodbye to him and her parents, facing the boarding gate without even looking back. 

----

Nakamoto Yuta. The perfect embodiment of the soccer superstar every university wanted to have. The model student who greets everyone, female or male, when he passes by them in the hallways. The loyal boyfriend who only has eyes for one girl. 

He couldn't believe only a month had passed. He misses her so much even if the time they spent together is much longer than the time they're away from each other. 

A normal day, a normal scenario for him. He quickly went to his locker to get his books for Physics class when a piece of paper fell, making his heart race. 

'Did you miss me, my soccer superstar? 

How many girls have fallen for that smile? 

Or are you just smiling for me? 

If you do, Room 3F.

XOXO, Y/N' 

He slammed his locker shut then passed by the vendo machine to get an apple juice, even tapping his foot when it took a long time to go down. Yuta ran to the third floor, catching his breath when he's outside room 3F. 

The moment he opened the door, a pair of arms wrapped around his neck. "Hi, Yuta." She greeted that made him smile. 

She's here. She's really here. 

"Why didn’t you tell me you’re back?” But he just wrapped his arms around her waist, hugging her tight. “And I was complaining last night about missing you.” 

Y/N giggled. “That’s why I went home early. I heard you’re famous with the ladies lately.” Yuta sighed, bopping her nose while teasing her for being so jealous. “Too bad we don’t have the same class together.” 

The guy chuckled worriedly. “Well, you know I had to skip class that day and go to you to the airport.” Y/N nodded. “I didn’t submit our project so the professor gave us a zero.” 

“What?”

Yuta laughed, shrugging. “On the bright side, we’re going to attend the same class in summer.”  

And he knew, from her grin, his anti-love phase is over. 

tagging : @jenosdaemi @notworthit24​ @smrutiisiva-13​ @justpeachygirl​ @notmejustmymind​

I know someone is going to ask me about the secret message in the letters but I’ll let you discover it. 😁 

[archived-kin]

genshin modern au cheat sheet

i’m planning to do more pieces set in this au, so i’ve put together a quick list of the characters i'm planning to write about/include!

there are three main groups here - the zhao family, the ragnvindr family and friends, and the Miscellaneous Pals™

(the next volume in this au is going to be a xiao piece, and that should be up within the next two or so days!)

1. the zhao family

zhongli, 36: history professor at the local uni who also plays the guzheng very well, tea-enjoyer, a very proud and supportive dad who loves his kids more than anything in the universe - probably unironically has so many pictures of them in his wallet

xiao, 23: taking a degree in psychology at the local uni, has a cool motorbike, bit of a control freak, doesn’t like surprises, will drop-kick you if you look at him or his sister funny, wants a cat but his dad’s allergic, never really grew out of his emo phase

yanfei, 19: baby of the family, prodigy lawyer-in-training, far smarter than many people give her credit for, likes building snowmen, has to protect her unsuspecting dad from Evil Salespeople looking to make some extra money

xiao and yanfei are biological siblings, and zhongli adopted them when xiao was 11 and yanfei was 7. the circumstances of this adoption is a mystery that none of the zhao family members seem willing to divulge…

the zhao siblings can have a little bit of tragic backstory. as a treat.

basically they were born into poverty and often went hungry for days on end. biological parents were distant and neglecting (though not actually physically/emotionally abusive - yet.)

when xiao was caught shoplifting bread and fruit from a local grocery store so that he and yanfei could actually eat, both parents went ballistic and kicked him out the house in the middle of one of the coldest winters the town had seen

poor kid was practically freezing to death out there, and yanfei raised such a fuss back in the house that mum slapped her square in the face to get her to shut up, which xiao saw through the window, and he promptly decided that he Was Not Putting Up With This Shit for any longer

immediately went to a neighbour’s house and told them what was going on, neighbours promptly called cps, and an investigation was launched

parents were deemed unsuitable for raising kids and (after a lot of back and forth) the two kids were taken into care

meanwhile zhongli was kind of sad because he had no friends or family in this town and all he really did was write articles, read books, and mark work

then one of his co-workers mentioned hearing about xiao and yanfei’s story and it hit zhongli so hard that he immediately rang up the adoption centre and ended up taking them in

and from then on both yanfei and xiao were very happy and healthy because zhongli was literally the best dad ever and put everything into taking care of them

2. the ragnvindr family (+ friends)

diluc, 29: budding businessman who still works at his dad’s cafe but is looking to open up his own company some time soon, still buys himself juice in those little cartons with the straws, still doesn’t know how raising bread works?? how does it get bigger???

diona, 7: diluc’s adopted daughter who has her father firmly under her thumb, bit of a spitfire but can also be the sweetest kid ever, enjoys making ‘potions’ out of grass and flowers and water (diluc can and will actually drink these potions because his love for his daughter knows no bounds)

kaeya, 25: diluc’s idiot little brother who’s changed majors at least five times and still doesn’t really know what he wants to do, practises fencing and horse riding in his spare time like a nerd, spoils his niece rotten

lisa, 26: the first of kaeya’s three roommates, has a degree in english and could easily have gone on to become a leading scholar but chose to instead open a bookshop that gets way more business than expected because she’s pretty and men and women alike are all simps

albedo, 23: the second of kaeya’s roommates, bit of a genius, has already started his chemistry phd, is almost concerningly pale and exhausted at all times, has not gone a day without breaking one of the cups for at least two years

venti, 21: the third of kaeya’s roommates, studying music, acts way older than he is sometimes but is mostly just a child, asks at least one of his roommates to marry him every day without fail, was and still is both a music and a theatre kid

lisa’s actually the one who owns the roommates’ residence because it’s on top of her bookshop

i was going to keep the whole ragnvindr family trauma thing but i decided that diluc deserved to be happy in at least one au so the brothers are still happy brothers :D

unfortunately that means that i’ve transferred a lot of the family trauma over to diona

essentially her mother died when she was a baby and her father, draff, turned to alcohol to get him through the stress of raising a child alone. unfortunately this led to him drunk driving one day, and he crashed the car into one of the wall’s of diluc’s dad’s cafe.

draff died on impact since he was in the front seat, but three-year-old diona managed to pull through despite her injuries. one thing led to another, diluc ended up taking care of her for a bit while the authorities sorted the whole thing out, but then he got too attached and decided to adopt her permanently

now diona has a dad, three uncles and an aunt who are all willing to shower her with all the love she deserves :’)))))

3. the Miscellaneous Pals™:

xiangling, xingqiu, chongyun, 17: local high school kids, they’re all kind of dating each other, low-key got adopted by xiao at one point, guoba is xiangling’s guinea pig and they all have joint custody over him

barbara, bennett, razor, 17: also local high school kids, also kind of all dating each other (but a lot more tentatively), regulars at diluc’s cafe, almost never seen apart

lumine, aether, ??: they keep showing up here and there around town to climb a tree and just sit there throwing leaves at people on the streets, then disappear. no one knows who the fuck they are

tartaglia, 23: nicknamed childe by his friends, also known as Mr Moneybags, is always just hanging around the local uni campus but doesn’t actually study anything there. his real name is ajax, but he thought that was lame so he gave himself a cool new one

eula, 24: new teacher at the local high school, her father used to be headmaster and was notoriously cruel to his students so everyone’s kind of wary of her, but she’s just really sweet and wants the best for her pupils :(((

amber, 21: number one eula defender, teaches the younger kids at the local primary, likes bunsen burners a little bit too much, still can’t remember how to spell the word necessary

hu tao, 25?: shady local mortician who may or may not practise illegal things, was kind of dating yanfei at some point but zhongli sent her packing as soon as he realised who she was, no one knows what her deal is

xiangling’s already a budding master chef and has received several offers from culinary schools, xingqiu is planning to study literature/language at uni but also might just go straight to trying to get a book published, chongyun is going to continue the family tradition of studying the supernatural with maybe a side job at xiangling’s future restaurant so that he doesn’t end up with no money if he doesn’t get any supernatural work

barbara is planning to go to medical school and also sings/dances in her spare time, bennett still doesn’t know what he wants to do but is considering carpentry among other things, and razor is dead-set on working at either a zoo or an animal shelter when he’s older

tartaglia never leaves the house without at least three pocket knives and a water pistol. he’s never had to use them yet, but you never know...

eula and amber live together and are probably dating but they’ll both just dodge the question if you ask them about it

they’re most definitely together though because on eula’s birthday amber brought her entire class of little kids to say happy birthday and bring her flowers

(incidentally amber is diona’s teacher)

[emwritesfootball]

Her Majesty's Men 2 | Mason Mount

Word Count: 1,512

Warnings: mentions of drugs, but that's about it. An intro to the Men

- - -

Notting Hill, London, England

Declan double- and triple-checks the address that Mason sent him as he walks the streets of Notting Hill. It’s for a pub he’s never been to before, but he’s heard rumours about a secret underground club modeled after the American Prohibition Era that has exotic dancers.

“Dec! Hey!” Mason greets Declan the moment he walks into the pub. “How have you been?”

Declan shrugs, hating that he has to break the news to Mason like this. The two of them grew up at Chelsea’s Academy together, remaining friends even when Dec got let go. A few years later, Mason was let go, too, and the boy in front of him seems to be doing fairly well. “West Ham let me go last week.”

Mason curses, shaking his head. “I’m so sorry, mate. Can’t believe they can just let us go like we’re expendable.”

“Yeah.” Declan smiles ruefully, sighing. “I’m staying with my sister but I know she wants me to get a job - I want to get a job - but I don’t know where to start. I remember at that party last year with the rest of the Chelsea Dropouts where you mentioned something about working for the Queen and-” Declan pauses, confused as to why Mason is howling with laughter. “What’s so funny?”

“You think- ahaha - you think I work for the Queen?! Oh, my god!” Mason wipes tears of laughter from his eyes. “I guess you could say I work for Liz, but not in the way you think that I do…”

“Liz? You call the Queen by a nickname?!”

Mason snorts, the laughter threatening to return again. “How about I show you instead?” He looks at his watch, draining his beer, and Declan finds himself doing the same thing. “Follow me, Deccers.”

Declan follows, his mind slightly occupied with the fact that he saw Mason drop two £20 bills on two pints at the bar before walking away.

The rumours were true. Declan can’t figure out how he couldn’t hear the raucous laughter and thumping bass from the DJ in the booth. He’s pretty sure he recognizes the DJ, but he’s impossible to place from so far away. Instead, Declan focuses on Mason, watching as his ex-teammate weaves through the crowd. It’s all women, he realizes, but then someone slaps his ass as he walks past and he turns to find an older woman looking at him appreciatively.

“Are you one of them?” She asks, shouting over the music.

“Who?” Declan responds, confused.

Before she can reply, Declan feels Mason’s hand wrap around his wrist and pull him through a door. The music dampens, seeping through the door, but only to provide a backdrop. “Don’t stop for the vultures, mate. Although, I think that one’s more of a cougar than anything.” He laughs at his own joke, shaking his head.

“Hush! Like you haven’t thrown yourself to the cougars more times than any of us!” Jack Grealish’s Brummie accent gets Declan’s attention.

“Sod off!” Mason rolls his eyes, turning to Declan. “Don’t pay Jacky Boy any mind - he’s just here for the brainless hen party pussy. You might remember him from a couple friendlies between our academy teams, but I guarantee you that Jacky here probably doesn’t remember you; poor boy doesn’t even remember his own name half the time.”

Jack flips off Mason, but he keeps talking. “These are the lads that make up Her Majesty’s Men. We’re all football-academy rejects, so it’s like a family since we all know what the other’s been through. Stonesy - you’ll meet him in a bit - kinda brought us all together. It was pretty much his idea.”

Declan looks around the room, realizing where he is. The room looks like a changing room except instead of kits and boots and training gear, there’s costumes everywhere. A ratty futon that’s seen better days is against one of the walls; Jack ‘Jacky Boy’ Grealish sits on it, and something about the way he’s sitting on it tells Declan that the futon isn’t for anyone but the ex-Villa Academy player.

“Right. Anyway, this is Happy Ending Harry. Gave his youth to Tottenham, but she was a cruel mistress.” There’s a mirror with lightbulbs around it that looks like it was either stolen from Marilyn Monroe or a fifteen-year-old girl, Declan isn’t sure which. Harry Winks sits in front of the mirror, checking out his reflection as he puts on...blush? Declan wants to ask but can’t bring himself to form the words. Harry’s too lost in his own world to do much of anything, almost resembling a Ken doll in a way that both intrigues and intimidates Declan.

“Big Dick Dier. Loaned from Portugal to Everton, but you can see how that turned out. Man can speak at least two languages but there’s not a woman out there who cares about that once they catch a glimpse of what the Big Man is packing.” Eric Dier picks himself up off the floor after doing a round of push-ups, giving Declan a nod in greeting and going back to the sewing machine to work on… a g-string? Declan’s a little disgusted but he’s glad he’s not the one handling that. The man’s wide shoulders and large hands radiate Big Dick Energy and Declan would be lying to himself if he wasn’t at least a little curious to take a peek at that pecker.

“Last but not least: Tarzan Ty.” A man with dreads stands in one corner, stretching. He’s got tattoos and a massive scar on his knee that Declan’s curious about but knows better than to ask about. He looks familiar but he’s definitively older than the rest of the lads Declan has met so he’s not sure he recognizes him from any sort of training academy. Mason starts his introduction, but Ty cuts him off.

“Tyrone Mings,” he says, introducing himself for Declan. “Southampton Youth ‘til oh-nine. They let me go ‘cause I was too short - joke’s on them.” Ty laughs and Declan joins in. “Got a serious question,” he continues, shoving his non-scarred knee in Declan’s face. “That look ashy to you?”

“Uh…”

“Here,” Mason giggles, tossing him a bottle of what looks like self-tanner but Declan doesn’t question it, squirting out some of the lotion and preparing to massage it into Ty’s knee. It’s the oddest thing he’s done since being let go, but Declan just tells himself that he’s rubbed weirder substances on his own joints. He realizes that Mason was right - this place, this group of ex-footballers, really does feel like a family. He’s only been here a few minutes but already the camaraderie is there. Big Dick Dier teases Happy Ending Harry’s appearance like the two of them were teammates at Tottenham or something; Tarzan Ty has what appears to be a ritual, shoving Declan’s hands off his knee once he realizes the new boy was actually going to do it.

“So, here’s how it works. We do a group act first, then solos, followed by hot seats. If everything goes well, we get these birds all jacked up and then we raise the price of the hot seats so don’t fuck it all up for us, all right? That’s it, that’s all ya gotta do.” Declan tries to focus on what Mason is saying but it’s damn near impossible as he watches Eric stick his dick inside of the contraption and start to pump, his cock stretching to an absurd length. He quickly realizes that Eric’s got his dick inside a penis pump, watching as the big man’s already-big cock grows like the Grinch’s heart. Eric’s sporting the most insane look, his jaw slack but his eyes intense like he’s focused on something else, taking deep breaths as his cock stretches longer.

A voice entering the room cuts Mason off, the DJ coming into view. He’s speaking, but Declan can’t understand him. “This is Kyle, our DJ. Kyle, Deccers; Deccers, Kyle. He’s gonna be giving you the cue before each act.” Kyle hands Mase a water bottle filled with something and Mason’s eyes light up. “Pregame! That’s what I’m talking about!”

“It’s the love potion,” Kyle says in a weird voice, giving Declan a wide-eyed look.

“What is this? Strawberry?” Mason inspects it, pouring some of it into the cap and downing it.

“It’s a little mixture,” Kyle explains at Declan’s confused expression. “Got the recipe from a friend in Miami. He calls it Hey Juice.” Declan’s been around enough drugs to know that it’s GHB, but he keeps his mouth shut. “If you drink the whole bottle you’ll go ‘Hey!’” He flamboyantly sways and snaps his fingers. “You’re gonna like it, bro. Give it a sample.”

Declan holds up his hands, taking a step back. “I’m good, mate. Maybe tomorrow night?”

“That’s cool. More for me, I guess.” Mason shrugs, downing another cap.

The sounds of the crowd cheering start to seep through the walls, a man’s voice coming through too. “All right, all right, all right!”

“That’s Stonesy. Let’s get you ready.”

<< >>

[sserpente]

A/N: Requests from three anons. After the fluff comes the smut! (Is that how it goes? Probably not.) Enjoy, my lovelies! ♥

Words: 2691 Warnings: smut and shameless thirsting for Loki

“The bed sheets are to be changed at the end of the week but please do not worry about hurrying to make the bed in the morning. He enjoys his solitude and peace in the early hours of the day.”

You nodded, mentally taking a note of this. Frigga was heart-warming, kind. You could barely believe she was Thor's and Loki's mother. Be that as it may, you would fulfil your duties as Frigga's chamber maid to her satisfaction. Loki’s was sick this week, bed worn with a heavy case of the Asgardian flu and she had asked you to also take care of Loki's chambers this week.

Unlike his brother and much to your surprise, Loki did not have many demands. He would ask for books brought to him from the library for when he returned from a long day on the training grounds, he wished for fresh fruit (mainly grapes) and wine on his table at his immediate disposal at all times and in the mornings, you were to bring him his breakfast personally.

You were hesitant, for even though you could use the extra wage, Loki... he intimidated you. He intimidated you in a sexual manner. Tall, strong and elegant, it was short of a miracle the women were not falling to his feet like they did with Thor. How could they prefer the God of Thunder over him anyway? Loki was intelligent and witty, always up for a trick and eloquent on top of that. You liked his mischievous vein, even though you could never possibly admit that out loud. Loki's presence made your heart beat rapidly—and his curious, sometimes even seductive looks he observed you with during public feasts where you served drinks and food... they made your knickers damp and your blood heat up. It was wrong to desire him, so you knew. You were a mere chambermaid, unworthy of even thinking about an intimate encounter and yet... his long body and smooth voice had been haunting you at night ever since you had become Frigga’s chambermaid.

You were more than ready to lose your virginity, finally. No man had been inside you yet, no one had claimed you as his. Working as a chambermaid, your opportunities to meet proper men obviously remained ridiculously little, and you were far too proud to give yourself to an unexperienced stable boy. Even when Odin had royal visitors whom you served in his palace rarely paid attention to a simple chambermaid when they could have one of the other beautiful women with a status in the throne room. Besides, your mother had taught you that it was forbidden for an unmarried woman to desire intimacy without a spouse, forbidden to desire a prince at that.

“Loki can be a very gentle man once you get to know him better. Yet I will ask him to behave around you. I know he can be rather intimidating.” Frigga said just then, her hand touching your shoulder in a comforting manner. Once again, you nodded shyly as you came to a halt in front of Loki's door and knocked hesitantly. His smooth voice sent shivers up and down your spine the moment he spoke up and invited you into the lion’s cave…

“Yes?”

“My prince? I, uh… my name is (Y/N). The queen sent me to take care of your chambers this week.”

He looked as handsome as ever. Dressed in more casual clothing than usual, he was sat at his desk with his legs on the table, reading peacefully. Your mouth watered when he licked his index finger to turn the page.

The God of Mischief looked up from his book. “Ah yes…” A playful glistening erupted in his blue eyes like a fiery volcano. “My mother told me she would be finding replacement. I know you. You help out the kitchen maids during feasts, do you not?”

“I do, your highness.”

“My mother has acquainted you with my habits, I presume?” He said, raising his eyebrows slightly.

“She has, your highness.”

“Very well then… I shall be looking forward to an… entertaining week.” Your heart skipped a beat.

-

Panting, you turned over to avoid the wet spot your arousal had left on your thin mattress. Your hand emerged from between your legs, your shaking fingers sleek with your juices. How many times this night had you touched yourself simply by thinking about how concentrated Loki had still been reading in his chambers today when you came to bring him fresh fruit and wine? You had not missed the thoughtful and knowing glances he had shot you, nor had you failed to notice the hint of a smirk both playing on his thin lips and sparkling in his eyes. He kept doing it, knowing very well what it did to you, no? He must have known. Loki was the most perceptive man on Asgard. Perhaps he already knew your reactions to him better than you did yourself. But it could not happen. Frigga might have asked him to be nice to you after you had left but that did not mean he could not have his fun with you and tease you, relentlessly, until you begged him to fuck you senseless, right in his bed while you dug your nails into the green silken sheets. You wanted to have sex so badly—to have a man sheath himself deep inside of you, to have him take you thoroughly… but… you wanted to have this with Loki.

Grunting quietly, you buried your head under your pillow and forced your eyes shut in an attempt to sleep. His blue eyes kept haunting you even in your dreams.

-

“Your highness? Your breakfast is ready.”

“Come in.”

Quietly, you pushed the door open and rolled the serving cart inside. Your cheeks turned bright red when you spotted Loki lying on the bed half... if not entirely naked in his bed. The green sheets left little to nothing for your imagination, the silken fabric complimenting his rather pale but still well-defined skin. A smirk played on his lips upon noticing your staring.

“G-good morning, your highness.” You choked out. Loki chuckled darkly.

“Good morning.” He purred the words as if he meant to seduce you and quite possibly... he was. You had never imagined him to be so smug, to be honest. Compared to his brother, Loki has always seemed to be the reasonable and rational one, however humbler; and you were still sure that in some aspects, he was. He knew, he knew, he knew... a betraying voice in your head whispered. You swallowed thickly.

“Your, uh, breakfast.”

“Thank you, dear.” He was still smirking and you were sure that by the time you hurried to leave his chambers again and shut the door behind you, you could hear him laughing mischievously.

“Are you not going to join me?” He suddenly said when you nodded and turned to leave his chambers for good.

“I, uh, what? My... surely it’s not my place to...”

“It sure is if I ask for some company while having breakfast.” He waved his hand nonchalantly. “Entertain me.”

“I… your highness, I have to prepare your mother’s breakfast too.” You replied sheepishly.

Loki only suppressed a smirk.

“Very well then…” Now why did you have the feeling that this had sounded like… a promising threat?

-

You kept dancing around one another for the rest of the week. Loki would watch you hungrily and practically undress you with his eyes and you would try and avoid him, do your duties and masturbate to his mischievous chuckles at night. Soon now, you would be out of danger. The week was almost over. All you had left to do was changing his sheets and flee his bloody chambers, forever. Never again would you agree to replace Loki's usual chambermaid.

You had expected for the younger prince to have left by now, to go on a ride with his brother and then train with some einherjar. But apparently, that was not the case. When you entered, his fresh bed sheets in hand, Loki was sitting by his desk reading a book.

“Oh, your highness... I'm sorry, I thought you were out. S-should I come back later?”

“That won't be necessary. Go on.”

Your heart was already leaping out of your chest as you stepped closer, the door falling shut behind you as if your fate had been sealed.

Trembling slightly—and ignoring how your core heated up when you felt his curious gaze on you, you turned your back to him and began to change his sheets with sweating palms. Ten seconds passed. Twenty, then thirty.

Then, suddenly, you felt his body warmth in your back—his hot breath against your neck. You gasped when he wrapped his arms around your middle, exploring your curves through the simple fabric of your dress.

His mouth attacked the sensitive skin of your back, inhaling your scent deeply before biting down—hard. A scream, both terrified and aroused, escaped your lips. Struggling against his steel grip, you fought against the need to press yourself against him and offer him your body to do with as he pleased. This urge… no, it had to be wrong. Even though it felt right.

“Y-your highness... Loki.... w-what are you doing? P-please... s-stop...”

“Do you truly wish for me to stop?” He growled into your ear. No. No you did not. Feeling his strong body against yours, it felt heavenly. But you were still a mere chambermaid. Odin would possibly throw you in the dungeons if you herded with his second-born son. It was not your place to desire, not your place to... oh... you whimpered when Loki turned you around so you were forced to face him, his lips crashing down on yours and his hands disappearing under your dress which he impatiently pushed up, digits probing your naked thighs and tearing your knickers in two as if they were made of paper.

He already knew how wet he would find you for him, still, your sleek petals caught him off guard and he let out an animalistic growl when his fingers found your clitoris and began toying with it.

You were tempted to closed your legs, to flee... instead, your body finally leaned into him; spreading your legs even further to give him more access. Unceremoniously, Loki lifted you up and threw you on his bed, earning him a terrified squeal from you. It was a moment you needed for your mind to follow rational thinking. Breathing heavily, you attempted to crawl away but the God of Mischief had already seen it coming. Your futile attempt to escape was foiled when he pinned you on the mattress, leaving you helpless and utterly defenceless underneath his strong body. Once again, Loki devoured your neck with relish, kissing, licking and biting until he grew tired of having only half your body at his immediate disposal and proceeded rip the rest of your clothing apart. Your breasts bounced free, your already hardening nipples tightening up even more due to the sudden cool breeze and Loki’s greedy blue eyes on you.

“Your highness... please...”

You could not tell whether you were asking him to keep going or to stop.

“You have been longing for me to sheath myself deep inside of you ever since you first set a foot into this palace, no? Admit it…” He lowered his mouth onto one of your buds, sucking it between his teeth. Your fingers dug into his raven hair.

“I…”

You could feel his arousal pressing against your naked thighs, even through the tight leather fabric of his trousers. Impatiently, he freed his awaiting length, his mouth never parting from your skin.

“Have you got any idea…” He mumbled against the underside of your left breast, “…what you have been doing to me this past week? Teasing me like this… dancing around me…”

What? Indignantly, you opened your mouth. “I… I wasn’t… you… you kept staring at… me as if you meant to… eat me alive!” You panted. Loki growled in an animalistic manner.

“Well, perhaps I will… but first, I need to have you. No one can know of this, yes?” He hissed—although it was phrased like a question, it downright sounded like a threat; and for some peculiar reason, even if your lack of keeping this encounter a secret would have serious consequences both for Loki and yourself, you had the feeling his personal punishment for you would involve nothing but pleasure.

You nodded, biting your lower lip as you did, for you could already feel his tip nudging your petals. Painfully slow, he parted them to give himself access, eliciting a moan from you as you threw your head back in pure bliss.

Loki wasted no time—if what he said was true and you had made him as hot and bothered as he had made you these past days, he must have been desperate for his release… and you could barely wait for him to take it from you, to use your hot cave, claim you and make you his… you were certain you were not going to be left out in the cold. At this point, he had already gotten you worked up so much it would take only a few strokes of his skilled fingers to bring you to the edge of pleasure and make you cum underneath him.

“Please, Loki…” You did not know if you were even entitled to call him by his name but in this very second, you could not care less. You whimpered when he finally pushed inside you, defeating what little resistance your body offered despite your wetness and burying himself inside your core.

Your walls clenched around him at once, moulding around him as if you had been made for his cock. Had he known you would feel this good, he would have dragged you into his bed much sooner. His fingers intertwined with yours, his mouth capturing yours in a passionate kiss once more, but only when you wrapped your legs around his hips to urge him on did he start moving inside you. He retreated almost entirely only to plunge himself inside of you again almost roughly, desperate for relief.

There was no pain really, the unfamiliar feeling quickly replaced with a tingly feeling spreading in your entire body. Finally… this was so much different from masturbating, so much different from secretly stealing a carrot or a cucumber from the kitchens to feel filled.

Loki thrust into you viciously, his hot breath against your lips and your whimpers fuelling his own arousal. Moaning shamelessly, you bucked your hips up to meet his strokes, your back arching as your body climbed the ladder of orgasm higher and higher. It was then he buried himself as deep inside you as he possibly could, the feeling both a little uncomfortable and arousing as he grinded against you, his pelvis rubbing against your clit. You could not help it, not any longer. Screaming his name, you came, your nails leaving angry scratch marks on his back, your peak of pleasure numbing your entire body. He too found his release. Groaning into your mouth, his hard member twitched against your tight walls, coating them with his warm seed. With but a few more thrusts helping you ride out both your climaxes, he collapsed on the bed but made sure to roll you both over so you came to lie on top of him instead.

For a few moments, his chambers were filled with nothing but your rapid breathing. Then, suddenly, he chuckled. This time, his smile was honest, content. “What an interesting turn of events…”

You giggled too, burying your face in his chest. He smelled wonderful. Like an autumn forest, ice and molten metal all at the same time.

“I will let my mother know that I prefer you as my chambermaid and that I would like to keep you permanently. That you will stick to your duties... from now on. Surely, we can come to an arrangement.”

“As you wish, your highness.”

-

A/N: Check out my blog to find more Imagines and take a glimpse at my  first (to be) published novel! If you enjoyed this story, I would  appreciate so much if you supported me on Kofi! ko-fi.com/sserpente ♥

[bookishofalder]

Night Changes [Bonus Scene II]

Summary: Honeymoon

Warnings: This is pure, filthy smut. Some fluff too, but it’s all about the smut baby! WC—2K

Summary: What better way to say thank you for 500 followers than a bonus scene from their honeymoon?! Please enjoy!

You woke because of pressure on your bladder, glancing down as you blinked blearily to find Poe’s head resting on your stomach, an arm hugged around your waist. Smiling, you gazed down at your sleeping husband for a few moments in the filtered early morning light of the tent. He looked entirely at peace, his breathing even and deep, and you wished you had a camera to capture the moment; instead you took a mental photo, memorizing how the lines of his face were relaxed, the dip of his nose and bow of his lips, how his dark lashes kissed his cheeks.

Stars, you were happy.

Admittedly, you were a little sore from the copious amount of sex you’d enjoyed with Poe the last couple of days, but your muscles could easily be ignored when he dipped that perfect tongue, hot and eager, into your folds or slid his length inside you, hitting every perfect spot so deeply. Still, you thought it would be nice to start this last day on the beach together in the water to help soothe the aches.

With careful movements, you slid out from under Poe, pushing your warm pillow under his head so that he didn’t wake. He had always been a deep sleeper, enough that you could slip away to relive yourself unnoticed. It was a beautiful morning, the sun only just beginning to peek over the horizon of the water, the resulting spray of pinks and golds brightening the otherwise soft blue morning sky. You stared at the water as you tidied yourself, then made your way back into the tent contemplating whether you should go back to sleep.

When you moved to slip back down next to Poe, you glanced at his face to find his eyes half opened, watching you with a soft smile. “Morning, flyboy.” You whispered, laying next to him and propping up on one arm. You ran your hand across his forehead, brushing his messy curls back, and then leaned down to press a kiss to the end of his nose.

Poe chuckled, his voice thick from disuse, “Morning, sweet girl,” He moved then, flipping onto his back and reaching for you with both arms. He tugged you close, your bare chest on his, and then cradled the back of your head before pulling you in and capturing your lips in a sensual kiss. For a couple of minutes, just the sounds of the ocean played in the background as you tasted one another, his lips melding perfectly to yours.

At this point, you couldn’t say for certain which of you more often initiated sex, the blissful days now blurring together. You felt you were near equal in your desire and hunger for each other and wondered how you’d return to base and be able to keep your hands to yourself. This morning, though, it was you who rolled your body to cover more of Poe’s, your thighs clenching over how broad and muscular he was, before reaching one hand down to gently stroke his erection. His hips bucked in surprise, and you captured his moan in your mouth before pulling back to look into his eyes.

Oh, those warm honey-brown eyes. You hoped your future children inherited them, and perhaps his picture-perfect teeth.

“So ready for me, Poe,” You murmured, stroking your hand along his shaft and pressing a final kiss to his chin before shimmying down his body. His hands, still resting in your hair, followed you down, and you could see the question in his eyes. “I’m going to taste you now, handsome.”

His eyes widened, and then you were licking your tongue over the tip of him and they closed as he focused on the sensation. Smiling to yourself, you surprised him by immediately taking him all in your mouth, swallowing around the thick length to deep throat him. His eyes flew open, the hands in your hair suddenly gripping as he gasped.

“Shit, sweet girl—” You only gagged a little when you glanced up and meet his eyes, the honey colour now nearly gone as his pupils blew out in lust. You could see the muscles of his neck straining; his body wanted him to press back into the cushions but was overruled by his need to watch you. “Fuck you are amazing at t-that!”

You hummed in reply, pulling back enough to pull air in through your nose, and his hips bucked as he cursed and grunted for you again. Just how vocal Poe was always made you extra wet with need, his sounds were so fucking erotic. You pushed your head down again, just getting him all the way in before the hands at the back of your head pulling you up, your mouth parting from his cock with a loud ‘pop’.

With his impressive strength, Poe hurriedly positioned you laying away from him in the pile of blankets, his body pressing to your back. You whimpered when you felt his fingers press into your cunt, testing your readiness, then let out a long, heady moan as he tilted his hips and thrust into you fully. Fuck, he was huge, stretching you in the best ways every time and hitting you deeply, so deep you almost wanted to cry for how good it felt. “Poe...”

He didn’t move his hips, his body pressed against you in a way that made you feel small and safe. His face appeared at your neck, kissing you there before he whispered, “Sweet girl, you take me so well,” And then he let his hand trail down your side, squeezing the curves and soft skin as he went, before coming back up to knead your breast. “You feel how deep I am?”

“Shit,” Your head tilted back as you arched, pressing your ass toward him to let him move at the best angle. He started slowly drawing his hips out and then sinking back into you, his hand falling to press against your stomach, holding you in place. “Fuck, Poe—so good, baby.”

He grunted, his next thrust a little harder, then froze. Before you could ask what he was doing, the hand on your stomach pressed harder. “Fucking hell,” He thrust again and you whimpered, it felt so fucking good, “Swe—shit, I can feel how deep—” He broke off with a groan as he moved again, his breath hot in your ear.

You weren’t sure what he meant, but he reached for your hand then and placed it where his had been, on the softness of your stomach, pressing it down and thrusting again. Stars, you could feel him inside of you, only a little but you shuddered in response. Gasping when he picked up his pace, he moved his hand next to yours as he fucked you deep and hard. The angle, his groans in your ear and the new pace were enough to send you over the edge out of nowhere.

“Fuck, Poe!” You cried, the crest of the wave of your orgasm so intense your whole body stiffened.

“That’s it, cum for me,” He growled, still holding you close, “Beautiful girl, you are so fucking perfect.” He kept his pace steady, drawing out your high as long as he could.

It was almost funny—you were just about to tell him how perfect he was, how he knew exactly what your body needed, how he got so turned on from your pleasure that it only made you weaker for him, but you couldn’t find words. Static was filling your brain as you came down from the intensity of your orgasm and you had to shake your head a few times to clear it.

He’d kept rocking his hips into you, his pants and grunts increasing and you knew he was getting close. You whimpered because you wanted to tell him not to cum yet, and you don’t know how he did it while in the haze of his own incoming orgasm, but he seemed to just read your mind, his thrusts halting.

“What is it, sweet girl?” Poe mumbled in your ear, his hand wiping your hair back from your face so he could look at you. “Tell me what you need, fuck I’ll give you anything you want...”

You moaned again, “I want you t-to cum in my mouth,” Your voice was only a little louder than a whisper, but you might as well have screamed it with how instantly Poe reacted, grunting loudly as he pulled out of you and pushed himself onto his knees. He helped roll you over so that you were on your stomach in front of him. You gazed up at his cock, wet with your juices, as he fisted it to finish himself.

After a beat, you opened your mouth and stuck out your tongue, smirking wickedly up at Poe. His mouth dropped open in shock, eyes wide.

“Fuck,” His free hand shot to your face, cupping along your jaw and holding you in place, “Wanna drink me up, baby? H-here, take it—” Poe growled as he came, thick ropes of him coating over your tongue and lips as his hips jerked in pleasure. You moaned, keeping your mouth open and waiting for him to close his eyes...the moment he did, you leaned up and wrapped your lips around him, sucking gently to pull the last of his spend into your mouth.

You swear, the sound he made above you was almost enough to make you cum again. The hand on your jaw flexed somewhat, the look on his now wide-open eyes giving away that he was torn between pushing you away from the overstimulation or pulling you to take him deeper. You chose for him, dropping your hands in front of you to push yourself up, his cock sliding down your throat. Poe was a wreck above you now, and when you met his eyes, your face stuffed full of him and cum leaking out the sides of your mouth, you felt him convulse before another spurt of cum burst from him.

This time, you swallowed, the salty essence that was Poe turning you on so much you didn’t even realize you were humming around him until he was yanking you off of his cock with a growl. “Holy Maker-! Fuck, fuck,” He gasped, falling back to sit on the bed in front of you, where he panted heavily for a minute before reaching for you.

With a broad smile, you let him pull you into his lap and dropped your arms around his neck. Still breathing heavily, Poe held you steady with one hand and then, his expression trained on the cum still coating your cheeks and lips, reached up to push it all into your eager mouth. You moaned at how filthy the act was, never looking away from his face as he ensured every last drop was cleaned up.

“Open,” He murmured, his gaze intense, and you showed him your tongue, “Good girl...swallow it all now...”

You made a show of it; licking your lips before moaning and gulping the salty cum down, your eyes fluttering shut. His lips found yours before you could look at him again, and Poe held you close as he kissed you deeply. When he finally pulled back, you smiled again, smacking your lips.

“You taste so good, Poe.”

“You’re going to kill me, you realize that, right?” Poe cupped your face in his hands gently, pressing soft kisses to your cheeks and nose, “That was the single hottest thing I’ve ever seen, and considering these last few days together that’s fucking saying something, sweetheart.”

You giggled, running your hands through his hair happily, “Didn’t want you to think you were the only sex expert, flyboy.” You wiggled your brows playfully.

Poe shook his head, grinning widely at you, “We can repeat that any time you feel you need to prove yourself, in that case.” And you laughed loudly with him, the warmth and happiness almost reaching an overwhelming level as you cuddled together and Poe held you like he would never let go, the ocean waves playing in the background and your hearts beating in tandem.

Did you enjoy this? If so, please consider reblogging or commenting to soothe my inner turmoil as a writer!

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[chispas-and-broken-bindings]

I really wanted to get the next chapter of Nothing Sacred, All Things Wild up this week, but work was crazy and I also got caught up in another story (I can’t control my muse)...so instead I’m offering up a long snippet of the dystopian/space colonist fic I started off a prompt I got a while ago for an “Arranged Marriage + a/b/o” request I got from an anon.

A/B/O is not my cup of tea, so I twisted it into an arranged marriage by an artificial intelligence instead: 

He wakes up angry, sweat soaking through his pillow, heart racing, stomach cramped. The alarm is buzzing from somewhere beneath the bed, where he must have knocked it. 

“Turn it off,” Ygritte mutters into his shoulder, before rolling away with the rest of their thin blanket.

He complies, letting the shock of the cold floor against his feet spur him into full wakefulness. “I take the test today.” It’s raining. He watches the drops splatter against the small window near the ceiling, and he wonders if Ygritte remembered to check the bucket beneath the leak before she crawled into bed the night before. 

Their garden apartment doesn’t do well in the rain. Jon still doesn’t understand why it’s even called a garden...there’s nothing green about their cramped basement residence, besides the mold growing beneath the sink.  

“Oh yeah. Happy birthday...we’ll get drinks when you come home.” 

“If I come home.”  He could be part of the one percent, after all. That is the Institution's promise. Everyone is SOMEONE. Anyone can be part of the 1%. Are YOU?

Jon knows it’s unlikely. How could he, an orphan from Mole’s Town, have the magic combination of pheno-, geno-, and personality type to be chosen for the Colony? No...he’s just another loser of the 99% who will waste his twenty-first birthday behind the Brutalist concrete walls of the Institution’s testing center, playing lab rat for the day, until the examiners come to the inevitable conclusion that he’s just another nobody. 

They’ll spit him back out on the street, leaving him free to carve out a pathetic existence on a slowly dying planet. 

He doesn’t bother washing. It’d be a waste of precious water when he knows full well they’ll scrub him down at the testing center. Instead he spends his last moments at home drinking a pot of weak coffee, trying to remember anything he was taught in the schools he barely attended. His energy would be better spent bracing for the coming indignity of having every part of his body and mind exposed and dissected. 

“Is the area of a circle, two pi times the radius? Or is that the circumference?” 

“It doesn’t matter,” Ygritte lights a cigarette at the stove before joining him at the table. “It’s not that kind of test.”

He knows that. It’s another Institution promise. The Test doesn’t ask WHAT you know. It asks who YOU are. Are YOU the 1%

How the fuck would Jon know? It’s easier for him to remember that the area of a circle is actually pi times the radius squared, than it is for him to explain who he is. He has no idea. That’s kind of what being an orphan is all about. 

Ygritte could at least throw him a bone and tell him what the test is like. She took it two years ago, though she won’t talk. Most people won’t. There are no rules against it, but The Test is treated like dysentery. Unless you live behind the gates, you’re going to get it at least once in your life, but that doesn’t mean you’re gonna go around describing your diarrhea to the world.  

Grenn went to White Harbor for the test a month ago, and though Jon had to buy him six beers and two shots of whiskey before Grenn would shut up about his first-ever train ride, he did give Jon a few insights into the rest of the experience. 

Not that the train isn’t worth the excitement, especially when the ride is paid for (another Institution promise. No matter your means. No matter the distance. EVERYONE makes it to the Test. Are YOU the 1%?) Technically, Jon has taken it once before, from Winterfell to Mole’s Town as a baby, but he doesn’t remember.  

Now he can’t believe anything that moves so fast could feel so smooth. He’s topped out at ninety miles per hour on the best snowmobile Donal Noye patched together, but that left his teeth rattling and his ears buzzing for hours afterward. The train is moving at double the speed, but he could be in the godswood, for how quiet the near-empty economy cabin is. He shares it with a twitchy young man who never looks up from a cheap tablet, and a black raven perched in a large cage who spends the entire ride staring at Jon with one eerie black eye. 

The testing center is located just across from the train station, in an intimidating building that used to have a name. Jon has a vague memory that it was a prison before the Institution took it over. Before that it was something else. 

He doesn’t balk when a masked orderly leads him to a small room, tells him to strip, and then takes off with his clothes. He knows they’ll be returned at the end of the day. Of more pressing concern is the man and woman who enter talking too quietly to make out at the other end of the room, while a nurse rolls in with a small cart covered in collection tubes, gauze strips, and butterfly needles. 

Everyone wears surgical masks, latex gloves, long white coats, and black clogs. 

Jon remains naked beneath a small paper covering. 

He has given blood before, and the messy, life-saving transfusion Mance performed to save Tormund three years ago was far scarier than the rapid, methodical draw that's taken from him now. Still, it’s disconcerting to think of the secrets the Institution will glean from his blood. He’s uncomfortably aware that they’ll know who his parents are before the day is over, even as he’ll continue living in total ignorance. 

Another Institution promise. The Institution values EVERYONE’S right to privacy. YOU control the right to tell the world who you are. Are YOU the 1%?

Before he’s finished the recitation in his head, five tubes are full, and the nurse pats a cotton ball and a band-aid over his arm. She tosses a granola bar on his lap before rolling out of the room with her cart of samples. 

Next comes a physical exam, where the other two examiners speak only to each other as they record his height, weight, blood pressure, and note his every blemish and scar in flat affect. 

“Post-burn contractures across the palmar and dorsal aspect of the left hand, adduction and extension in the metacarpophalangeal joint of thumb fall outside normal range of movement.”

“Keloid scarring along the right gastrocnemius muscle, five point three centimeters in diameter.”

“Slightly hypertrophic scarring beginning at left brow and running medially down across the left orbital cavity to the cheek. No ptosis noted. No apparent damage to the eye.”

He should feel worse beneath the weight of each fault. Instead he relaxes. He was nervous for nothing. Failure was always inevitable. The Institution would never invest in a malnourished kid with a burned hand and a badly healed leg wound. They are famously secretive about their selection process, but some reasons for failure are common knowledge. As the crows like to say, no cripples, bastards, or broken things. 

So, he chews his granola bar slowly and even closes his eyes for a bit, letting the examiners move his limp limbs as necessary for their measurements. He imagines himself a cadaver during the early stages of an autopsy. 

As long as they don’t cut me open….

When an white-haired man enters and lays out what look to be a series of tiny torture devices, Jon wonders if he stopped caring too soon. He white-knuckles it through an excruciating dental exam that ends with his first real exchange of the day. 

“Have you ever been to a dentist, kid?” 

There is still a tube in his mouth, sucking up his spit and a hook pressing at his gums, so Jon just shakes his head. There are no dentists in Mole’s Town. Just Chett, who used to work at a slaughterhouse down south and will pull a rotten tooth for the price of a bottle of whiskey. Jon wouldn’t give the creep the lint in his pocket, and he sure as hell wouldn’t let him near his mouth. Instead he brushes his teeth so hard his toothbrush regularly snaps in half, and prays something else kills him before gum disease has a chance.

“You’ve got better teeth than I see behind the gates, boy,” he pulls the hook from Jon’s mouth to dictate into a small microphone hanging from his mobile workstation. “Review DEFB1 on ID 17630343BA. At some point the focus will need to expand beyond the holy 22 and get back to the basics. Who is going to care about neuron growth if every fourth planter is born with anodontia?” 

Jon understands little of what the man is saying, but he’s heard enough to know he’s at least got as good of teeth or better than some of the rich tossers who live within the heavily guarded gated communities where the Colonists are actually culled from. Behind their high walls, wealthy sons and daughters of the only one percent that really matters, spend their youths preparing for the Test in homes and classrooms pumped with filtered air, where the water runs clear, and no one ever goes to sleep with their bellies cramped from hunger or disease. 

The Institution promises that ANYONE can be the 1%, but EVERYONE knows that's a lie. 

---

The physical exam ends at last, after several more rounds of sterile humiliation. Jon isn’t sure which was worse; having to lie within a noisy cylinder while a disembodied voice reminded him not to move, or being asked to run naked on a treadmill, wired with electrodes. 

When it’s over, the last examiner provides him with a sweatsuit that is softer and better-made than anything he owns, and he wonders if there is any way he can smuggle it out with him at the end of the day. Another orderly comes in with a waxy crisp apple that hardly seems real even as a spray of tartly sweet juice hits the back of his tongue. He’s given a pill as well that he swallows down with a cup of water so clear and so cold, it’s an act of incredible will-power not to ask for more. 

It’s only after, when he’s led to a small room with two chairs, a table, and a pulsing white orb in it’s center that he thinks to ask what it’s for. 

“This will make the answers come more naturally during your interviews,” the man explains before leaving him alone. “We want you to answer as truthfully as possibly, but we understand that can be difficult under the stress of the Test.”

He supposes people lie all the time on the Test, trying to game the system, though Jon doesn’t have the first idea how he’d go about doing that, nor does he have any reason to try. He’s not going to the Colony. This is all just a spectacular waste of time, and it’s a race day, which means he’ll have to pull extra shifts at the Rookery to make up for what he would have made beyond the Wall. 

By the time a petite woman with a neat low bun, and cracking, grey scar across half her face and neck enters, Jon is reckless with anger. 

“I’d like to go home.”

“Hello, Jon,” she smiles as she sits across from him, and she’s the first person he’s seen since he entered the building who isn’t wearing a mask. She’s also the first person to call him by his name. “My name is Shireen.”

“Where’s your mask?”

Her smile dims slightly, but she maintains her gentle tone. “I’m here to facilitate the interview portion of your Test today. Before we begin, is there anything you need to feel more comfortable? Something to eat, drink, a bathroom break? Should the temperature be adjusted?”

He’s sour with anger so he takes everything she offers, suddenly eager to make everything as inconvenient as possible for the Institution. Shireen takes his requests with an easy smile, however, escorting him to the restroom herself. When they return to the room, there is a bowl of hearty soup with a chunk of bread that is soft and airy beneath it’s golden-brown crust. Beside it is a tall glass of water and a smaller cup of green liquid that Jon eyes suspiciously. 

“What’s this then?”

“I thought you might like some juice. It’s mostly apple, with some kale, cucumber and celery in it as well, I suspect.”

It’s the best thing Jon has ever tasted, and while part of him wants to fling the rest of it at her frustratingly serene face, it’d be a horrible waste, and he’d be the biggest loser. So, he takes his time, savoring each bite and sip, rolling the bright flavors across his delighted tongue. 

“Feeling better?” she asks after the tray is cleared. 

“Is that an official Test question?”

“No.”

“Let’s get on with it then. I can’t afford to miss the train home.”

“As you may know, it is not individuals who decide the 1%. Our artificial intelligence algorithm, The Seven, determines who is the best fit for the Colony. That is how the institution guarantees objectivity in its selection process,” she taps the pulsing orb on the table. “Though we find people are more comfortable responding to another person, so I will be facilitating our discussion as The Seven records and analyzes your responses. Are you ready to begin?”

He shrugs. 

“I’ll start with a series of statements. After each, please say a number to indicate the degree to which you agree with that statement, wherein one equals strongly disagree and five equals strongly agree. Three indicates you neither agree nor disagree. Do you understand?”

“Five.”

“Okay. Statement Number one: At social events, you rarely try to introduce yourself to new people and mostly talk to the ones you already know.”

Jon knows everyone in Mole’s Town, and he doesn’t want to socialize with most of them. 

“Two.”

This goes on for a while, each statement absurdly divorced from anything relating to Jon’s life, but the numbers spring easily from his lips as he relaxes under Shireen’s soothing voice, and kind face, and the lovely feeling of a full belly and soft, warm clothes. 

It’s when the format shifts, that he begins to feel strange. Shireen starts with questions that are easy to answer. Where were you born? How many years of education have you completed? What was your favorite class and why?  What do you do for work? Describe your strengths. When are you most satisfied in your job?  Do you live alone or with others? How many others do you live with? What is your relationship to the person you live with? 

At this point, the questions grow more invasive; more personal. A voice tells Jon that the Institution doesn’t need to know how many times he and Ygritte fuck a week...but the answer escapes all the same. 

“Four or five times a week.”

“Do you use contraception methods?”

“No.”

“Do you intend to have children with your partner?”

“No.”

“Given your age and your partner’s, without contraception, given your regular intercourse the odds of conception are--”

“She’s sterile.” 

“How do you know that?”

“Most everyone in Mole’s Town is. It’s something in the water, or the air, or our weak genes. It doesn’t really matter the cause. If it’s not the one; it’s the other. She’s been fucking since she was fifteen, and nothing’s ever caught.”

“How do you know that you aren’t the sterile one?”

He shrugs. “I probably am too, but I’m not her first partner as you say. I’m not her second or third either.”

“How does that make you feel?” 

He glares, and Shireen clarifies. 

“Your partner’s sterility?”

“How do you think it makes me feel?” he pushes back from the table, letting his chair lean back on two legs. 

Shireen only gives him a minute shake of her head, and waits for him to answer the question. 

“Angry. I feel fucking furious about it.”

“So, you would like to be a father?”

“I’d like the freedom to choose. I’d like Ygritte to have that freedom.”

“What is your least favorite thing about humanity?”

She can’t be serious with that question. It’s like asking him to name all the stars. He takes a deep breath. Shireen waits. He stands up and paces. Shireen waits. He finishes his water and asks for another. Shireen calls for a refill. He drinks that too. Shireen waits. 

“My least favorite thing? That we’ve given up. We let this machine,” he points at the orb, “decide who doesn’t have to. It’s like….it’s like the men in Mole’s Town who wander into the snows when winter grows too cold, and there’s not enough food or warmth to go around. Grown-ass men who could be fixing furnaces and braving the cold to find the resources their families so desperately need. Most of the time they don’t even have the fucking guts to tell anyone  what they’re off to do. They just wander away one day, and winter takes them. 

That’s what the fucking Institution is. We’re all those men in Mole’s Town who’ve just given up, despite the blood still pumping through our veins. We’re sitting around, waiting for winter to kill us, so that a few can live. And there’s no one left to be mad about it either, because it’s a fucking machine that decides our fate. It’s like being mad at the wind. What’s the fucking point? But just because there is no one to be angry with, that doesn’t mean the rage goes away...and winter isn’t killing us fast enough."

“So you want to live?”

“I want humanity to want to live. I want humanity to want most of humanity to live. I want us to care about more than the one percent.”

It feels radical, saying it here; behind the walls of the Institution. It feels like he’s put the last nail in his own coffin. Shireen watches him as he cracks his knuckles, one at a time, waiting for her to say the interview is over; it’s time to go home. 

Instead she asks an even crazier question. 

“Do you think there is an essential connection between the morality of an action and the morality of the intentions behind it?”