#drew this to comfort myself i hope it comforts someone else also

[nonbinarycollector]

ID: art of noelle, kris, susie and ralsei from deltarune, in their light world/chapter two appearances. they all wear teal ribbons. they smile gently at the viewer, saying: "you'll be okay". end ID

[fire-lizard-ro]

Ah yes. I've come to inquire about a certain blond fellow with the pretty eyes. Aventurine

So here's my bit. Reader is going through a break up with Aventurine and then they make up. I'm writing this while attention (females perspective)is playing in my mind. Maybe you could like incorporate it into the ask. Because I'm thinking in a way that the reader is trying to get Aventurines attention whilst keeping him at a distance. Sor of cat and mouse. And he's buying into it though he's much prefer without the sneakiness.

Also I hope this asks finds you in good spirits and a joyful mood. Caio.

Okay, okay- I have no clue what attention is. A song? I’m not good at this game help-

Anyways I will try my best.

Thank you sm for the ask. 🫶

I really do love this twinky little blond man and I’m happy to be writing about him.

It’s like two in the morning rn and I’m rambling here to distract myself from things. ANY!!! WAYS!!!

No gender is mentioned for the reader.

CW: exactly one (1) 2.1 spoiler (Aventurine’s real name- It’s at the very end), break up-make up time, mild angst bc ofc there is it’s Aventurine, hurt/comfort, happy ending hehe 🫶

Writing under the cut (SFW):

You couldn’t help but smile as you saw a certain someone’s nickname flashing across your screen. Right on time.

Though you supposed he knew what you were doing. After all, Aventurine is smart. Even if he didn’t realize it right away, he had to know by now.

You picked up the phone.

“Well hello, stranger. To what do I owe the honor?” It was hard to keep the sly lilt and inflection out of your voice when you knew he was definitely gripping his phone tightly on the other end of the line.

“I’m sure you know, dear. You’re slick but not that slick. You’ll have to do better than that to outplay me,” Aventurine said, his voice still fixed in that unhurried cadence and unbothered tone like usual despite the situation.

You rested your cheek on a hand and leaned back in your seat with a smile. “I’m sure I don’t know what you mean. In any case, it’s a bit odd of you to call me. After all, we did break up. You remember that, I’m sure.”

You could practically hear the leather of his gloves crunching (is it crunching I forgot-) as he clenched a fist, keeping hold of his restraint.

The two of you had been dancing around each other like cat and mouse. Though at this point, who was the cat and who was the mouse was anyone’s guess.

Despite having gotten to the point of breaking up, you ended up missing him a lot. And thus you began the dance only to find his hand already waiting for you. It was unspoken that you both wanted the same thing. But every time he drew closer, you’d pull back. A frustrating back and forth that seemed to confuse him. Aventurine was sure you wanted him back. And yet you never let the cat finally catch his prey. Why? He didn’t get it.

“Oh sweetheart- Let’s not keep pretending, yes? I know you’ve been trying to catch my attention. You can’t hide your intentions.”

“Seems it’s working, then.”

It was true. You had been doing things to keep Aventurine’s eyes on you. Despite playing a game of keep away with him with how you’d draw him in and push him away, you didn’t want him looking at anyone else. At the same time, you weren’t sure if you’d truly be willing to get together again. What if the train went off the tracks again? The first time had been rough enough with the two of you waging a passive aggressive war and pointedly ignoring each other at some points.

And thus, this odd little game of yours. One that Aventurine was growing tired of it he had finally called you.

“Let’s talk in person, shall we?” “What-?”

A knock at the door. No fucking way- You opened the door to see your favorite the blond man himself.

“Hiya, darling dearest~”

“Aventurine.”

“No need to be like that. I was serious about that talk.” He then pulled a bouquet of your favorite flowers out from behind his back. “For you,” Aventurine said with that stupid charming smirk of his. You squinted at him for a moment before accepting the flowers with a huff and a faux annoyed, “Fine.”

You were a bit conflicted. You were excited that he was here. Especially because he seemed desperate enough to actually seek you out and talk to you in person. But at the same time this was not something you calculated or expected to happen.

“I know you’re glad to see me. You don’t have to pretend,” he practically purred as you shot a glare over your shoulder, still keeping up appearances. “Oh but of course- I’m absolutely just tickled pink.”

Aventurine chuckled, tipping his head down to look at you over his shades, lids low and eyes practically glowing. “You always did have a way with words, sweetheart.”

He then took off the sunglasses (and oh that was another stupid, dorky little thing about him you found oddly endearing- shades inside a building- stupid silly adorable man-) and plopped down on your couch while you put the flowers down on the counter in the kitchen. You’d deal with them later. For now you had him to deal with. You sat in the chair instead of the couch. He pouted playfully about it, but didn’t comment. “I’ll cut to the chase- I want you back. And I know you want me back, too. I just can’t figure out why you’re leading me closer and then shoving me away. I’m starting to get the feeling you just like my attention. But even so- We both know the truth. So why don’t you just give in, lovely? I know you want to,” he said, surprisingly not using the old song and dance of leading someone around to get the information he wanted. He didn’t talk in circles and didn’t even seem all that flirty despite his words. He was… oddly serious.

“And what about the reason we broke up before?” You didn’t even try to pretend anymore. Aventurine has always been able to see right through you. That ability had clearly not gone anywhere. “I can’t make promises, but we can talk. We’ll work something out. I’ll even compromise on it.” Compromise was not an Aventurine word. Any deals he made were made in his favor without the other person even knowing what they were going to lose. Your incredulity must have been showing on your face more than you thought because he laughed lightly, the sound somehow dry- tired and heavy. “I see that look. I’m serious, baby. I’m sorry I ever let you go. You’re the only one who stayed. The only one who has stuck around. I need you. I’ll give it all to you. My attention, my trust, my… my heart, even. You don’t have to play these games to make me want you.”

Now you feel a bit guilty. But at the same time, elated. Even before you broke up, he never once brought up matters of trust and love. He seemed far too uncomfortable even edging around the topic. But now Aventurine was the first one to bring it up.

You said nothing but silently stood. And his eyes dimmed, waiting for disappointment. But then you walked over and sat next to him, pulling him into a hug. “I missed you, Aven.”

He let out a shaky sigh and wrapped you up in his embrace, arms tight around you.

“Kakavasha.”

“What?”

“You should tell me, ‘I missed you, Kakavasha,’” he (Kakavasha?) said, his voice was shaky with emotion.

“I… I missed you, Kakavasha.”

“And I love you, sweetheart.”

[kasdeyalilith]

A Love Too Late

Note: So the most voted character in the poll is Diluc! Almost beating Xiao by 1 % so I decided to add him too and another surprise character in another fic but knowing my works you already have some clues hahahaha. Anyways here's the requested piece also thank you all for voting and stuff it's super fun.

Warning/s: Angst

Character/s: Diluc x Reader; Xiao x Reader

Synopsis: Grasping at the end of the thread in the hope of rekindling the lost love with you, but they're too late because you've already decided to marry someone else.

DILUC

A knock echoes across the room before Barbara peeks in and told you that the wedding will begin. She excused herself, fidgeting in embarrassment, when she realized that you were preoccupied fixing your dress and checking your reflection in the mirror. A pathetic excuse, really, anything to delay making the most important decision of your life.

Marrying Kaeya was-is the best decision for you to make, after everything went downhill with Diluc he was always there to comfort and help you whenever you need it.

Yet there's always that nagging feeling that something is still missing, because even though you're happy with Kaeya now, the love you felt with Diluc is different. A love in its purest form that was ripped from you before you could even save it.

Loving Diluc will always be the best part of your life, but it's time to move on; even if you love Diluc, you know your relationship will never be the same again after what happened.

Sighing, you left your room tightly holding the bouquet of Kaeya's favorite flowers closely after making your decision.

You crossed the halls, counting the pillars before the looming door of the Cathedral came into view.

Caught up in trance you didn't even notice the shade of red before being led away. Your body, as if possessed, yields to his touch without even knowing who your captor is.

You have memorized and engraved that very scent and the curves of his hands, the dips of his shoulders.

He stopped walking but never let go of your hand, holding it closer as if you were about to vanish before his eyes.

“Don’t do it” he pleads

Head pounding from what’s happening, you drew your hand away in disbelief. Your eyes glaring at him as if anything could be so simple after what had happened.

“You don’t love him like I-”

“Don’t even start saying that bullshit again Diluc, we’re done and I know I’ll be happy with Kaeya”

His eyes shifted as the name of his brother leave your lips.

“By marrying him?”

He moves closer to you after he realizes you won't respond. His usual hard exterior is now bare and pleading as he stares into your eyes.

“I know all those things I did is unforgivable. I won’t even forgive myself but I am still in love with you (Y/n). I know I treated you poorly when you’ve been nothing but supportive and loving especially when my Dad- I shouldn’t have done all those things to you”

“But you did it anyway Diluc, I’m getting married now and the only thing you could do is to let me go”

“I can’t”

You faced him, your heart was burning and breaking so much that even crying won’t even be enough to show your pain, he's here expressing his everlasting love for you while in the past you've waited and waited for him to tell you that he loves you even if he's warming the bed of some woman he met at his tavern.

“You’re selfish you know that? Barging into my life again as if you can undo all that hurt you caused. Well shits been done Diluc, I’ve moved on and because I’m stupid and a pathetic excuse of a human I know that even if I marry Kaeya I’ll still care for you and that I can’t live without you but don’t make me prove that I can”

He moves to take your hand again but stops when you both heard someone running to your direction.

“(Y/n)? We’re all looking for you, if you’re having doubts and or anxious, I understand we can- what are you doing here?”

Kaeya's relief at seeing you was quickly replaced with a sneer directed at his brother.

“You’re not a part of this brother, best to leave us-” Diluc tries to hide you with his body but you stepped out of his reach before he can hold you again.

“No Diluc, we’re done here. Least you can do is respect my decision”

Turning your back to him, you keep your shoulders square as you brave your way through the halls.

You waited until the walls obscure your view of him before collapsing on Kaeya's embrace, silently crying on his shoulder as you ignore Diluc's shouts of your name.

XIAO

He could feel the wind shifting, he can trace the nostalgia gleefully dancing with the gale.

The yaksha leans into the breeze as he surrendered to it, his clothes flapping against the wind. It was almost like the sound of their laughter, clear and calming even against the howl of the wind.

“Haven’t seen you relaxed like this since forever” you teleported beside him

Xiao stumbles as he regains his composure, you’re always like this, even the vigilant yaksha can be caught lacking when it comes to you. Only you.

“What do you need (Y/n)?”

He tries to be stern, crossing his arms for good measure but blushes when you walk closer to brush a single leaf from his hair.

“I’m here to deliver this”

The adeptus was just opening the envelope you gave him when you started speaking, drumming your fingers against the wooden railing to hide the nervousness in your voice.

“It’ll mean a lot to me if you come Alatus”

A wedding invitation, adorned with red and crimson borders contrasting his teal blue hues. The sides of the paper crumples under his hand before he give it back to you.

“Don’t expect me to make an appearance, the adepti are very busy to even entertain such occasions”

“But Cloud Retainer and the others are coming! Even Morax and Barbatos and Ganyu even Madame Ping!” your voice reaching a note higher to make a point.

“Why even invite me? Besides you’re tying yourself to that mortal. A foolish act honestly, you’re an adeptus and you’re going to waste your life with someone whose life is but a fickle?”

“That mortal saved and loved me when I’m in my lowest-”

“And I do not?!”

Surprised by his outburst, you tried calming him down as you smile hesitantly.

“That’s not what I’m trying to say Xiao and you know it”

“Then leave me be, go and waste your life away with him. I don’t care”

“Let go of my hand then”

Xiao only glares at you, his grip on your hand never faltering.

“You’re always like this, you always push me away then act as if you love me back. I tried Xiao, I really did but I grew tired of all this. It was like always crossing a tightrope with you. When you ended the relationship, I respected that and still tried to be there for you because before all this you were my friend but I’m so tired Xiao. I don’t think I can even be in your life anymore”

“No. (Y/n), I- let’s try again. This time I promise to not hurt you so please don’t- I don’t think I can live in a world without you in it”

He speaks softly, his breath catching as he waits for your answer.

“If you asked me years ago Xiao, I would have said yes but I can’t betray Kazuha like that”

Xiao's heart breaks for you again as he gazes at you. He can't see the love you had for him in your eyes as you usually do, he can’t accept the fact that he’s too late and already lost you to someone else.

You sighed, used to him disappearing on you in the past, as he vanished in a whisp of curling black smoke before you could move. Unbeknownst to you, a teal feathered bird was circling the mountains of Liyue, his song crying of regret and heartbreak.

[cool-fancier]

Unlikely Heroine

Synopsis: The mysterious Bada Lee lived in the peaceful building next door. Her beauty first drew you in despite being distant. When your ex-boyfriend stormed in one night, Bada saved the day, establishing a connection that grew stronger over common interests. You both revealed your feelings to one another on a rooftop under the night, beginning a remarkable relationship that led to the intriguing neighbour becoming a beloved friend and love interest.

Living in the peaceful flat next door was Bada Lee, a mysterious and graceful woman. She appeared uninterested in the world outside her door as she went about her regular tasks.  But you couldn't help but be drawn to her; she was a picture of beauty and grace that had you captivated.

You had been living in the same building for months and often caught glimpses of Bada in the elevator or hallway.  Her flowing dark and blonde highlighted hair, perfect sense of style, and the mysterious aura that enveloped her were all things you couldn't help but notice. She appeared distant and far away, like an unreachable star.

You eventually gave up trying to talk to her as time passed. She didn't seem to be much interested in her neighbours, so you decided to content yourself with observing her from a distance.

One awful night, when you were relaxing in your flat after an exhausting day, your door got an unexpected and unpleasant knock. When you unlocked it, your ex-boyfriend was there, angry and drunk.  His motives were obvious. he wanted your return no matter whether you want him in back.

Your heart was bursting with fear as you struggled to fight him off, but he persisted without restraint.  His loud voice caused a disturbance that echoed down the hallway and drew the attention of your neighbours.

When you believed there was nothing else to do, Bada Lee appeared at the door next to yours and swung it open. Her typically cool, collected demeanour had changed to one of furious determination. She gave your ex-boyfriend a burning gaze that caused him to shiver.

She spoke the words, "Enough," in a voice that would not allow for debate. "Get away immediately and leave."

She enters the room with authority, and your ex-boyfriend was startled by it. He stammered, "Who are you?"

Bada's reply was straightforward yet effective. "In this building, I won't put up with harassment. Now go."

He stumbled away while cursing under his breath because of her comments and attitude. Bada held her ground until he was gone from sight before turning to you and giving you a worried expression.

Her voice softened as she questioned, "Are you okay?"

Even though you were still in shock, you were able to nod. "Yes, I'm grateful. Without your help, I don't know what I would have done."

Bada gave a comforting grin. "Everyone gets a little assistance from their neighbours. I'm hoping he won't bother you ever again."

Your luck was beyond words.  The modest neighbouring woman had not only seen you but had also helped you out when you were in trouble. It was a kind act that showed a lot about her character and made you once feel appreciative and intrigued.

You said, "Thank you, Bada," your voice full of genuine appreciation.  "I don't think I've introduced myself properly.  I'm [Your Name]."

Bada held out her hand as her cheeks were somewhat flushed. "I'm Bada Lee. It's nice to meet you, [Your Name]."

You couldn't help but feel as you shook her hand that this chance contact marked a new chapter in your life—one in which the mysterious woman next door was no longer just a gorgeous stranger but an unexpected heroine who had saved you at the crucial moment.

You became more and more drawn to Bada in the days that followed. Her brave  and thoughtful deed stayed in your mind. You had been captivated by her strength and compassion as well as her lovely beauty because she had shown them to you when you were weak and in need.

One evening, as you and someone else were both in the lobby of the building checking your mailboxes, you gathered up the nerve to start a discussion. "Bada, I wanted to thank you again for helping me that night. It meant a lot to me."

The corners of Bada's eyes wrinkled as she grinned. "You're very welcome, [Your Name]. I couldn't stand by and let someone harass my neighbor."

You continued, encouraged by her warm response, "I've always noticed how quiet you are, but you truly shocked me. You're not just a lovely neighbor, you're also incredibly brave."

Bada's flush grew stronger and she took a minute to look down before catching your eye. "I appreciate you saying that. I guess I've been quite private for a while."

As your conversations grew in frequency, you realised that Bada was much more sophisticated than first appeared. She loved to dance and was a talented one at that and she had your enthusiasm for classic literature. It seems that she had a sophisticated and detailed world hidden underneath her guarded appearance.

You couldn't help but think that as your friendship grew, it may one day develop into something more. However, you were cautious since you weren't sure if Bada shared your views or if she was merely acting as a good neighbour and friend.

Bada turned to you one night as you were both relaxing on the building's rooftop and admiring the distant city lights. "[Your Name] knows that I cherish our friendship more than words can say. You've brought a lot of light into my life."

Your heart was thumping as you gazed into her eyes. "Bada, I feel the same way about you. I've loved having you as a friend, and I cherish our time together so much.

Bada rarely showed vulnerability, but her stare indicated more. "I have to admit something, [Your Name]. I came here with the hope of a new beginning free from the burdens of my old life.  But since meeting you, you've encouraged me to look for more than just a new beginning. I now want to actually live because of you."

Your hope swelled making your heart skip a beat. "Bada, I feel the same way. I had no intention of meeting someone like you, who makes my heart beat faster every time we talked."

Bada reached out for your hand with a kind grin on her lips, sending a shiver through your veins as her touch. "I'm glad we found each other, [Your Name]. Maybe it was fate that brought us together that night."

You both realised that this chance encounter was unique as you sat next to one other on the rooftop under the starlit sky. It was a bond forged in the quiet moments, in acts of bravery, and in the shared dreams that filled the night.

And as your hands joined, you sensed the start of a new chapter, one in which the mysterious neighbour was no longer just a lovely stranger but a treasured friend who had saved you and won your heart in the process.

[the-tech-turn]

My goodbyes to the members of Bad Batch

(I was inspired by someone else who also did this, but I can't find them. If anyone know who the op is, please tell me so I can credit them)

(Not spell checked, btw)

TECH

Tech -my beloved-.you have helped me gain confidence when it comes to my intelligence. Last year I was very insecure about my intelligence since I was the “advanced student”. Because of that title I was afraid to ask questions, afraid of not meeting that title. My self esteem relied on my grades and even though I would have an A I was disappointed it wasn't 100 percent. But because of you I learned that I don't have to prove myself to anyone and although I may struggle with it from time to time it's a lot better than last year. You also have been a big source of comfort for me. I would love to listen to you ramble endlessly. Your voice is a voice that I have learned to love and adore. In fact I cried when I realized I would hear your voice this season. I also see you as a person who would listen to me ramble and have a genuine conversation with. Something that I rarely have. You are a strong, intelligent, determined, and loving person. That is why you have a special place in my heart. Thank you Tech for all the things you have helped me with.

ECHO

I was pretty young when I watched The Clone wars. At that time I wasn't invested with starwars the way I am now. So I never really paid attention to what I was watching. I remember part of it like watching the attack on Kamino. In all honesty I don't remember watching you at all. But subconsciously I may remember since you are one of my favorite clones. Heck even characters. I really like how competent and funny you. To me it shows that even after all that you have been through you can still be an amazing person. I think that's an important message to send. I also like how you want to keep fighting for your brothers. It shows how much you care for them, even the ones you haven't met. I love how you are willing to take dangerous risks for people to love. It shows so much about you. And finally I love how you were able to find healthy coping mechanisms and make the most of your situation. You aren't the same person as before the trauma but you aren't left worse off. Echo you are the perfect example of “you aren't what happens to you it's what you do with what happens' ' and I want to be like you.

WRECKER

Wrecker, you and I are a lot alike. We are both affectionate, loud when we're excited, and caring. I adore how you openly show Lula! You aren't ashamed of her and I think that's incredible. To be proud of who you are and being able to feel unashamed by others trying to put you down is an amazing life skill to have. I think it is amazing how you were always willing to take Crosshair back. I can tell how much you love him. It broke my heart to hear you scream after Tech as he fell. You love all of your brothers and to see one of them die and being unable to help them is something I never want to face. But you are somehow able to still keep your positivity. You seem like the person your brothers go to for reassurance due to your loving and affectionate nature. I hope that whatever happens tomorrow in the finale won't take that away from you.

HUNTER

You are an amazing father/brother to Omega and your brothers. You want what is best for them and try to help them. You are a caring person. It is just how you are. This allows you to empathize with people more easily. It is also your caring nature that drew me to you. You are how I joined Fandom in the first place, and because of that, I made friends with people who want to have a genuine conversation with me(@techwrecker @thefrogdalorian )

You've also allowed me to find people who share my interests. For that I thank you. I admire your determination. You know what you want and no one is going to stop you from getting it. I understand how pressuring it can be when people look up to you and seek you for advice but you manage to pull it off and that is why you are the leader of the batch.

CROSSHAIR

Your journey has been a hard one. You had to see your brothers leave you multiple times. You had to watch Mayday, a reg who you quickly grew to care for and love, die because of the ignorance of the Empire. The same Empire you sacrificed your whole life for. You gave up your relationship with your family, your happiness and individuality. All for the Empire to take 2 of your brothers, and take away what made you different , acceptable to take away the reason you were born and to replace it with trauma.

What you had to live through was cruel and all I can do is hope that you'll be alive to make the pain worth it.

But just because you went through all of this doesn't mean you don't have amazing qualities that I love and admire. Like me you value loyalty. It is why you left the Empire and why you are trying to recuse Omega. You are also very protective of what you care about and it is easy to see how much you care for your brothers and for Omega. I think I like you as much as I do because you remind me of my best friend. She is as stubborn,and snarky, as you but she is also as caring, loyal, thoughtful, and strong as you. It is clear for me to see why Omega never gave up on you. And I want you to know that you deserve the galaxy.

OMEGA

I have loved watching you learn and grow through all of these years. You've grown so far from the girl who didn't know what dirt was. You have faced challenges that would change many people. And in all honesty you have changed; you've changed for the better. You are still the loyal,caring and empathetic person you were before. You are a bit of everyone in the batch

You're as loyal as Crosshair, as caring as Hunter, as strong as Echo, as positive as Wrecker, and as strategic as Tech. You have so much potential in this galaxy, and I just know wherever the force guides you, you'll never lose your spark.

(I will post my final goodbye to the series tomorrow)

[aesethewitch]

Hello! How's it going? I'm not here for a reading but I'd like to ask a question if it's okay.

How do you deal with your readings being wrong in the long run?

Some time ago I faced an embarrassing situation with a friend. I never asked her not to tell our other friends, but it's pretty much a dick move. I asked the cards about it and I got an overwhelmingly positive response, I don't remember the cards but I remember being very comforted by the results, it seemed like she was very compassionate and caring about my feelings.

Today I basically found out she did tell.

I understand that energies are always flowing and changing and that answers are not set in stone, but it's awfully demoralizing.

Hello! This is a really good question, one I think more fledgling tarot readers ought to ask and try to answer.

The thing about all divination is that it's up to human interpretation. People aren't infallible. We can be wrong in mundane ways, so of course, we can be wrong when it comes to divination.

It happens to everyone. I was wrong very recently, actually -- part of my November month ahead reading was wrong way, and I've been meaning to do a little write-up about it. In my case, my hopes and fears for the month ended up coloring my interpretations of the cards I drew. Looking back at them now, I can clearly read the message I missed. Rose-colored glasses versus hindsight. (I even wrote in the reading that it might've been my hopes coloring the reading, which was 100% correct!)

Sometimes, it's a matter of the future being mutable. Other times, it's just a matter of being plain wrong.

And it sucks! It really does. At the end of the day, no divination is going to be 100% perfect. No diviner is ever going to be right all the time. Honestly, I don't trust anyone who says that they're never wrong. I'd prefer the reader who says, "Whoop, I fucked that right up! My bad!" than the one who claims absolute perfection.

Whenever I'm wrong, I try to take it as a learning experience. I always think I'm not a particularly stubborn or proud person... right up until I have to confront a mistake. So, believe me, I don't give this advice lightly or under the assumption that it's an easy thing to do. It's hard, and it sucks.

But it makes it easier to be a little humble about it. These are the steps I take whenever I'm wrong in a divination:

Think about my headspace at the time of the reading. Was I feeling something in particular? Was I hoping for a specific outcome? Was I afraid of a specific outcome?

Consider the way I worded the question. Did I ask a yes/no question? Could I have worded it better or more clearly? Was I casting assumptions in the question itself?

Ask whether there were external factors that could've changed the outcome. Consider things like other people's actions, spells being done, random chance, environmental factors, and so forth. Was there an action I should have taken to make it true? Was there an action I shouldn't have taken?

Ask whether there was another way to interpret the reading. Did I miss a message? Was there something already in place to suggest that my interpretation would be wrong? Did I straight-up misinterpret the meaning of a card, or mix a card up with another one?

Consider whether I should've done the reading myself, or at all. Sometimes, I'm too close to a topic to do a reading about it with any measure of impartiality. If I feel like I can't step away far enough, I'll ask someone I know and trust to do a reading for me.

Accept that it happens, no matter why it happens. Practice helps. Double-checking also helps (I'll sometimes do two readings on different days or ask for a second-look reading from a friend to see if there's a difference!). But sometimes, there's just nothing for it.

If I do a reading for someone else and end up being wrong (and they confront me about it), I'll always thank them for saying something. Keeps me humble, reminds me that I have more learning to do.

Taking notes helps a lot! I keep track of every reading I do for myself and for others so that I can look back and see what was right, what was wrong, and why. Letting myself be wrong is right up there with making other mistakes, failing at tasks, and otherwise coming up against a learning curve. I hate it and it sucks but it's necessary, so I do my best.

[phoelipop]

Sorry this is very sudden but I promise there was a lot of thought and consideration behind this for the last few years but I’ve decided from now on I’m using this persona to draw for selfship and stuff with, instead of Kumi… one based more off myself again.

When I first made Kumi i never thought I would form that kind of attachment to her but it just kind of happened. All throughout my years drawing, there has always been a consistent theme; drawing me, my cousins, my friends, and our fictional favs. When i was younger I always drew “myself” as someone else, projecting onto an OC that didn’t resemble me at all because its fun! It’s always just been for fun and disguising myself in my art has always been what’s most comfortable for me when it comes to “selfship”. I guess Kumi unintentionally became one of those, haha.

But over the last few years I’ve been having some rough times with Kumi and with my cousin’s shared story and feeling like I’m too obsessed with something that died a long time ago. Feeling like I need to move on too but wanting to hold on for old times sake, because it’s so special to me. But it doesn’t feel worth it anymore, it isn’t fun anymore and it makes me sad. I want to move on so I don’t start to associate something I love with something that makes me sad. But I still love my loves and wanna have fun drawing stuff with them again and with my friends, and I’m gonna do that through this persona, who is like literally just me…

I know it’s weird after all these years but I just feel it’s better to retire Kumi as just an OC for now. But she’ll still be around and I’ll still be drawing her if my cousin and I have new ideas together! But from now on I’m still gonna be smooching my favs but now with a little more freedom and authenticity and self love (also a lot of things will stay the same like, keeping my fav Pokemon and my ship name with Guz is still called Skullcandy, etc) 

Anyway I’m sorry for this depressing ramble, I hope you understand. I know this sounds silly but the idea of self expression and selfship has always been really important to me, and I just wanna draw what makes me happy… Thank you for reading and thank you for loving my girl Kumi 💛

[valpogossip]

VALPOGOSSIP TEACAP: APRIL 2024

You lot sure have be busy the last month. If I was of lesser mind or simply someone with something better to do, I would have resigned myself to my silence and let you all carry on. But business pays. And unfortunately for you, it's yours that pays me, and you're all not going to believe this.

It's always the ones in the most denial that scream the loudest and Abril is a banshee. While at La Fiesta De Vindimia, Abril confronted our favorite blonde bombshell, Mallory Jade, about song she assumed was about her. Now theres something about a fight over a song like Pretty Girls ending in a kiss that just doesn't feel all that... straight to me. But Abril was quick to prove all of us wrong by locking in with Giovanni !

Speaking of Giovanni, the timing of this is quite suspicious considering he had a bit of his own meet-not-so-cute with a Yazmin. The two getting off on the wrong food but helping each other find the right one another and getting all cozy enough to take a nap outside. I don't about you all, but I don't think i've ever been that comfortable. Wonder with Yazmin thinks of this. Or Abril for that matter.

We could also ask Aivryn for her opinion on the matter considering how upset she was when Abril's new beau launched to the world to see. Apparently, even as her best friend, Aivryn found out at the same time everyone else did. I can't help but wonder why that is.

In more confusing but entertaining news, Omar and Dante are going on a date to decide which one gets to take which...one... on a... date ? I think I'm reading that correctly. Yes, bowling date. Loser takes other on date. No, yeah that's right. Well, whatever love looks like for you. Whenever there's a Dominguez-Herrera involved we're sure it'll be healthy and sane.

Maybe it's the bowling date nerves that led Dante to break Drew's nose? We hope that's healing up just fine.

Every month we hope Alba will stand up, and this month they came really close ! It was much of a hunch, but hey we'll take it. After a cold war, Milani raised the first white flag but all it took was one. You'll get there Al, we believe in you !

The festival seemed to be a hub for rekindling kisses, as Arlo and Esme were spotted liplocked on one of the benches. Sad thing about Leia bearing eye witness. Has anyone checked on her? What is it about good wine that makes you want to relive the past? Maybe they can go on a double date with Mallory and Abril and relive the past together.

Speaking of rekindling, but this time no kisses, exes Elijah and Sariyah, and Luna and Enzo were both spotted with frowns on their faces and eyes that were looking everywhere but each other. What conversation has you guys that deep in thought? Maybe you should take a drive, we here that helps.

If you're looking for a palette cleanser from all the mess, look no further than Jasper and Hunter. Gentle conversations and cutely planned dates. We wish them nothing but the best and maybe they could teach our many ( many ) confused couples a thing or two.

We hope that's enough to hold you over until next month. And if I missed anything, don't hesitate to send in a little tip to us via our anon box.

Here's some things we're keeping a close eye on for next month:

Ysla and Adem seem to be getting extremely close to little Emmie. Is it all just for her benefit? Astrid and Kaito already have the perfect starter for next month's tea cap, I wonder what else they'll get up to. What's the history there? How is Sariyah involved? Why does vic hate birthdays so much and why does esme suddenly care so much about his? Ximena and Bryce seem to also be spending a lot more time together. Aksel and Sarah's dinner table keeps getting bigger and bigger whole Luna's looks to be getting smaller, why is that? Will Drew ever get his double date? Is Luna like... okay?

If you didn't make this rounds teacap don't worry, we're still watching closely.

[lady-bluebird-luv]

Hello Luv, Santa is back! Just in time for a little Halloween celebration. Are you doing anything especially frightening for 31st?

I will always read 300 pages of your Feysand takes, so bring them on. And did you somehow introduce me to a new Hozier song? Wasteland Baby is my favorite album but I had never listened to the special edition.

I did a lot of evil cackling, maybe even steepled my fingers, when I read your responses to my questions. There were two or three fic ideas I had kicking around in my head, and I think I've chosen the one that will be a feast of favorites! I can promise at least that someone will be covered with blood.

Would you be interested in some teasers and other little gifts between now and the official release date? I can certainly light a few candles and try to build some anticipation.

In the meantime I have a few questions for you:

What are some of your favorite books?

Tell me a little bit about your other fandom and what drew you to write for it!

And: what's your favorite scary movie?

Until next time! ���

Santa, I would be beyond happy to get a stocking stuffer! I hope you're enjoying spooky season :) I'm so excited to see what you come up with, and I hope you're having fun plotting! I'm also absolutely thrilled to introduce you to more Hozier, and I don't suppose you've heard Ethel Cain's new song, too?

As far as choosing favorite books goes... WOOO-WEE I don't know where to begin. I love books that are kinda weird and/or surreal. It doesn't need to be fantasy or sci-fi to scratch the itch, but it often is. I also love fictional worlds that just... feel really lush and vibrant, which I know sounds really vague, but I don't know how to describe it much better than that. :/ I guess a good example would be Marlon James's Dark Star Trilogy, which I adore.

Some of my other favorites right now are the Aye, and Gomorrah collection by Samuel Delany, anything by Toni Morrison or Yoko Tawada, and The Overstory by Richard Powers. Stuff by Emily St. John Mandel (think Station Eleven) and Lydia Millet (especially A Children's Bible) are also up there. Dark academia also hits the spot for me, so I love work by Maggie Stiefvater and Laini Taylor, although it's been a long time since I reread their books. I used to be obsessed with The Mortal Instruments. I'll still always have a soft spot for them and the Infernal Devices.

I don't consider myself a huge poetry person, but the book that I keep coming back to more than anything else is actually my anthology of Louise Glück's poems. She writes a lot about the loss, failure, shortcomings, etc. that are inevitable in life. A lot of her material is pretty depressing (if not straight-up dark), but she weaves painful experiences into extraordinarily beautiful poems. I admire that a lot, and it's... comforting, in a way? Catharsis doesn't quite capture what I mean. She's not going to tell you that it will all be OK in the end, but that's alright, because that's how life is sometimes. I like that she rips the band-aid off AND shows you how to grit your teeth while she does it. Ocean Vuong's poetry is also some of my favorite writing.

I don't know how familiar you are with my other fandom, Attack on Titan, but it was a HUGE part of my life for a long, long time. It still is near and dear to my heart, although ACOTAR has taken some brainspace from it for sure.

I've always read a lot, and when I was... 13? 14? somewhere in there. I got bored to death with a lot of the YA novels I was reading. I got into anime/manga to try something new, and since AoT was one of the big shows at the time, I watched it first.

It was a hell of a first anime, but I really liked the action and how deceptively simple the premise is. In case you aren't familiar, I won't spring any spoilers on you. But basically, the premise is very easy to grasp until you realize that a lot of characters are lying through their teeth about themselves and the world around them. AoT was also one of the few major animes at the time that had basically zero fanservice, which I appreciated, and the characters were really appealing. AoT has a strong anti-war message, and the story is partially about how governments can prey on young, idealistic, hurt people by turning them into war machines. There are no heroes in AoT. If you think otherwise, wait a few episodes.

I love morally grey characters (if you couldn't tell) and angst that seems to have no good solution, so that drew me in. Hange might be my favorite character.

I'd already written a little fanfic before AoT. It was for a really trashy fallen angel romance called Hush, Hush. It's definitely still out there on fanfiction.net LMFAO. I don't remember my username or the name of the story, which might be for the best. In any case, when I found the AoT fandom, I was so excited to find a huge and incredibly talented fandom. AoT is what introduced me to AO3 (for better and for worse) and where I learned to channel my writing itch into projects that I could stay passionate about for, in some of my fics' cases, years. Looking back, some of what I wrote was definitely cringey. Nevertheless, I'm also really proud of how well some of it has held up and performed. I learned a lot from writing AoT fic, and writing for AoT undeniably boosted my confidence as an artist.

Also, Santa, I LOVE horror movies. I'm not gustsy enough to try to write horror, but I think it's one of, if not THE hardest genre to execute well, and I admire a good horror film. My favorite has to be Hereditary.

This video essay is a great breakdown of what makes the film awesome. It's a way better explanation than what I could do, but it's also almost five hours long. So, the TLDR is that the film subverts and reworks a lot of tropes while having insane acting, cinematography, effects, etc. When I saw it, it was the first genuinely frightening movie I'd seen in a while. I'm not super into the torture porn/pure shock value style horror movies, and I think this one strikes a good balance between disturbing gore and psychological horror.

I moved to Central Europe recently, so I celebrated Halloween in a very foggy ex-Yugoslavian city with lots of bridges over canals. The spooky vibes were indeed spooking. I hope you had fun :).

[soaringwide]

Hello! I saw your tarot giveaway and would love to add my name to the mix. In particular, I'd really like to know about personal growth; what areas of my life need improvement, what steps I should consider taking to improve, etc. Essentially, whatever I should be aware of to grow and be the best version of myself I can possibly be. Thank you so much!

Hello @lady-laerwen

First of all, thank you for your participation! My blog is very new so I'm glad someone reached out :) In case someone else wants to participate, there are still 3 slots left, check this post to see the rules.

About your question on personal growth, it seems to be a check-in of some sorts to asses your current situation and see what advice comes to the surface and where more care is needed.

What needs improvement?

First of all, I think you're currently in a beautiful energy in your life and it's admirable that you want to dig deeper, and it seems you are being encouraged to do so. It takes a lot of courage and perseverance, and again, it's very beautiful! It seems there is indeed something precious to discover for yourself in this continuation of your journey.

I drew the archetype card the Starborn first (central column) so I think it's a good indication that an area of improvement is your spiritual life. It seems you are on the right track so nothing to worry about, but I'd say an advice would be to reconnect a little bit with your inspiration and, I'd say, blissful enthusiasm you felt when you were first starting on your journey. Being excited by the feeling of mystery, like a child full of hope for the future. It seems you may have a tendency to try to do things too perfectly and too rigidly, the way you think you need to do them rather than by following your inner wisdom. You might hold some limiting beliefs regarding that, that you need to shed. Perhaps some aspects of your practice are outdated or need some refreshment.

Which is also hinted at the left column of cards. You got very active, fiery and masculine cards, paired by an archetype card that is all about talking actions to end things in order to leave space to create something new. Which is awesome but you might be really eager to make decisions to move forward, bordering on being a bit impulsive and rigid at times. There is some type of excess in taking and cutting here, and not enough giving and feeding. What I'm trying to say is that, perhaps you are being too demanding with yourself at the moment and not giving your mind enough room to wander and breathe and find inspiration in unexpected places, and find this new thing you need to bring in. I'm not a huuuge fan of masculine vs. feminine energies but sometimes opposing concepts can be useful, and there is definitely a case here for being too active and not receptive enough. Which again is admirable and the reason you have such an adventurous spirit, but there are different ways to engage with this adventurous spirit of yours.

Right column now, there is definitely an invitation to open yourself up to your emotional side, especially when it comes to hidden emotions or ones you don't feel comfortable feeling. Again try to refrain from being too structured and constricting, instead, welcome some type of flow in your life. You don't have to figure everything out and know the exact path from A to B, it's okay to wander and let things arise on your path and within yourself. Let surprising messages come to you in due time. If your attention is too rigidly focused on one thing, then you run the risk on missing out on what's outside of your focus.

The Lovers as bottom of the deck and tying energy in a spiritual context talks about union between two opposite sides and I think it's very fitting considering what I wrote above. In order to gain a deeper connection to your spiritual self and progress on your path, you must slightly change the way you approach things, shifting from a very masculine and fiery way, to a more flowy and watery stance. But the goal here is to find balance with the two and not move from one extreme to the other.

I don't know whether you're already doing that or not, but practices surrounding dreams or spontaneous art making, or meditation that is receptive (not a focus exercise for example) could be good things to pick up for you and see where it leads you.

Steps you could take to implement this

Didn't take a picture for this part but basically you got the Tear + the Devil Rx and The Eternal Child + the Page of Pentacles Rx.

Definitely a confirmation to reconnect with your emotions, especially if they make you feel vulnerable and put you in a heightened emotional state. There is this idea of release that will help you detach from something that is constricting you. You need to learn to let go and not bottle everything up within yourself, because it makes you feel out of control or weak. It may feel difficult when you're in this process but it will be extremely beneficial for you quickly. You will feel freer and more accepting of who you are as a whole.

The second message is to embrace a wild child energy, to be playful, optimistic and full of enthusiasm. Let yourself shine and banish the austerity you feel like you have to embody. You may need to work on your need of being accepted and your fear of criticism that you learned as a child (solidified later in life), and perhaps that has to do with those tears you need to shed. So maybe take a look at emotional wounds you got as a child. Again there is a message to embrace who you truly are at the root and I think you might benefit from going back in time a bit to see what ignited this spark when you were younger, what you found inspiring and motivating, what you dreamed of embracing and becoming when you were older.

That's it for this reading! I hope it was useful for you and I'd love to have some feedback if you feel like doing it :) I wish you good luck on your path!!

[jungshookz]

Hey Cee, I don't think I ever thought I'd ask for advice like this. But I genuinely just want to know what your take or anyone who reads this thinks about my situation?

I have a guy friend I had met on a dating site. Originally not intending to be friends, but ended up just being friends because he thought of me only as that. However, before he had come out of left field with that statement, I had thought what we had going on was flirting? Talking every day, even still, sending each other funny reels and going to museums or cute fun places together. Meeting up and just talking or taking a walk together, yknow.

And I guess because he had stated he doesn't see me as anything more than just a friend already, I wasn't letting myself get my hopes up. He drew the line, and I was okay with it, im still okay with it, because i genuinely value him as a friend, and i love talking and meeting up with him.

But I've gotten attached? Maybe it's because I never got to even tell him I like him before he went and told me how he only sees me as a friend. And after all this time, I've come to like him more and more? And as sad as it sounds, a small part of me wants to think it would be possible he'd like me or eventually come to like me after so long?

But recently, he asked me to help him take pictures for his dating profile. And like a good supportive friend, I said I'd help. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for helping him, but I suddenly thought about smitten y/n and how she went above and beyond to help JK with his date despite having huge crush on him herself, doing it to be supportive and seeing him happy. Going to get the flowers and then florist Yoongi asking her "why are you doing this? What do you get out of this?"

And then I had to take a step back and really ask myself, what AM I doing?? Ngl, it kinda stung seeing that he'd ask me to take pics for him to update his dating profile cause he wants to get back onto dating and finding someone. Cause after so long, I thought maybe he hasn't gotten back into it because we've been talking and going to do stuff together? Maybe I'm being delusional or hopeful. Realistically, I know I don't have a chance. I never did. But it felt like i might have had a possibility after so long?

I guess after that entire spiel, my question is, should I continue on as we are and take those pictures, be genuinely supportive friend, and learn to move on sooner or later? Or idk, what other options do I really have?

I don't want to ruin this friendship, what we have going on right now, by telling him I like him. Cause I know what the answer would be, and it would hurt even more to lose him as someone to talk and hang out with. But it kinda stings knowing I was never an option to him romantically.

I guess it's also because recently im starting to feel like I'm lacking to be appealing or attractive to guys. I'm only ever seen as friend material and not dating material.

Thank you so much for reading this. I just felt like I needed to rant and get some outside opinions.

hi! i’m happy to help as best as i can but don’t feel pressured at all to listen to me or anyone else, do what you’re comfortable with doing!! also my answer might be a little all over the place because i have so much to say and i feel like i need to get it all out before it disappears from my brain so here we go ALSO reading over this there is some tough love in here but i feel like everyone needs tough love every now and then and also everything i’m saying here is coming from a place of genuine love and care :-)) i’m a sagittarius we r blunt people whoops 

some guys have extra firm tofu level dense brains and don’t interpret what you’re doing together the same way that we’d interpret it — the sending each other memes, going to places together, etc — if you asked them they’d just be like yea i sent you that meme because i thought it was funny and also we went to the park together because it was nice out and i like the park?? 

i know you said you’re okay with being friends but are you really okay with it? because i don’t think you’d still be pining after him if you were really okay with it!! it’s okay to NOT be okay with it, don’t force yourself to try to feel another way just so you can justify continuing to be friends with him — holding onto the hope that one day he’ll come around and like you back is not a healthy way to deal with your feelings

with that being said, we can’t rule out the possibility that maybe one day he’ll change his mind and see you in a romantic light, but we have to take the situation as it is in current time. right now, he’s made it clear that he sees you as a friend and that the relationship is platonic. right now, he has asked you to take pictures of him for a dating app. right now, i assume he is on the dating app talking to other people. you can be hopeful, but you also have to be realistic. 

smitten!y/n did go above and beyond for jungkook! she did all of that for a man who didn’t see her in a romantic light and was literally on a date with another woman. and yoongi was so right in grilling y/n with those questions because really, truly, WHY would she do something like that for jungkook knowing that she’d get nothing in return? why is she hurting herself just so she can stay close to him?

of course it would be sad to lose him as someone to talk and hang out with, but talking and hanging out with him when you like him romantically and the feeling isn’t mutual is guaranteed going to be an even more horrible feeling. and it’s only going to get worse if he started dating someone and you still had feelings for him

at the end of the day it’s really up to you whether you’d like to continue being in this friendship or not. i can’t tell you what to do, your friends and family can’t tell you what to do — the only person you can listen to is yourself. that’s one thing that i learned from my relationship — even though everyone around me was telling me to do this and that, ultimately i had to listen to myself and do what i felt was right. 

this is your life and i am simply a person on the internet, but this situation is one that i’ve faced before and i promise you that there is someone out there who’s going to be more than happy to go on walks with you and send memes to you because they’re romantically interested in you! i know it’s hard to believe but at one point even i thought that i was just unattractive and unloveable and that no one was going to date me but i am a firm believer that the universe will start to work its magic once you come to a place where you’re happy with yourself <3 it’s tough work but it’s so worth it, i’m not there yet either but i hope you find comfort in knowing that i’m right here working on myself alongside you!! 

[a-world-of-whimsy-5]

Day 12 | Prompt: Radience of Silpion

Pairing: Ómar Amillo x Fem. Reader (Elf | Third person POV)

Themes: Smut | Soft

Warnings: Public sex | Cockwarming | Fingering | Mild dirty talk | Orgasm denial

Word count: 400+ words

Summary: Ómar and his lady steal a few moments for themselves while the others are away at a feast.

Also available on AO3

Rating: 🔥 | Minor DNI | 🔞  | You are responsible for the media you consume

Ómar sighed softly. "You must not be so impatient, my love." 

"You are monstrously wicked, Amillo!" Y/n howled in frustration after having been dragged back from the precipice a second time. "And what if someone comes upon us like this?"

Ómar smiled broadly and made himself more comfortable against the tree. The movement was all that was needed to push him even deeper inside of her. Y/n moaned with pleasure and splayed her hands over his chest in an attempt to stop herself from collapsing on top of him.

"No one will," he replied, his eyes full of wicked humor. “For they are all far too occupied with eating and drinking to even care about anything or anyone else."

"Oh? No one will think to question your absence?" Y/n refused to believe it. Ómar was a most gifted singer. His presence was sought for every festival and feast. The knowledge that no one would search for him in the hopes of pressing him to sing again astounded her.

"They will not, my love. Most were deep in their cups when we left.” Ómar heard the laughter and the ribald jests. No one would come their way; he was certain of it. “And they all know how I long to sing while bathing in the radiance of Silpion. I must, however, confess, sweet lady, I find myself yearning for a different kind of song right now."

His hand crept beneath her skirts. It moved smoothly up her thigh, going higher and higher, and then-

"There you are." Deft fingers glided over soft folds and their apex again and again, unleashing a flood of fiery sensations that nearly consumed not only his lady, but him as well. "Oh yes, my love. Sing for me. Sing."

Y/n buried her face in the thick, velvety hood of his mantel, fearful her cries would be heard. It was not what Ómar desired. He teased and urged and tempted her into letting go of her fears and crying out for him. And he found himself being rewarded richly for his efforts. Y/n twined her arms around his shoulders, her body like a bow string pulled taut. She was close. He felt it when fresh arousal poured down his cock. With a smug grin, he ceased and drew away. Y/n growled, then grew sullen after being denied once again. 

"Oh, if you could only see how you look!" Ómar laughed. The sweet, lilting sound of it merged gloriously with the singing of birds in nearby trees. "Oh, please do forgive me for this, my love, and let me make amends."

"How?"

"Like this." He pressed y/n closer and knelt upon the grass. Y/n gasped when he thrust for the first time. "And I give you my word; there will be no more denying."

 Tags: @asianbutnotjapanese @cilil

[across-every-universe]

*hands you a card* This is your chance to gush about... Kaeya! When did you realize you were in love with him? What made you drawn to him? Plus whatever else you wanna gush about. I'm curious. ^^

Thank you!!! Oh boy anon I hope you don’t mind a lot of personal information because that’s exactly what you’re about to get

I started playing Gen/shin at around the same time I was struggling to accept myself for being autistic, and also around the same time I was an enby egg beginning to crack. I think both of those things just naturally drew me to the guy whose whole story arc is “guy who was born different and has to grow up feeling like he’s evil for it and must hide who he really is at all costs for fear of being violently ostracized”.

From there it was a steep slope to just being heavily invested in both his relationship with his brother and his characterization in general. Reading fics where the two of them begin to get along again was cathartic for my desire to feel safe in a world that had burned me for being born “wrong”. Reading fics where Kae.ya was characterized as a kinda dangerous person and an expert manipulator (/neutral, he’s just good at getting what he wants out of the world around him), not just a damsel in distress longing for the good old days, was cathartic for my desire to not back down from unabashedly being the “monster” I was always told I was.

I think it was just inevitable that I fell in love with him from there. It’s not necessarily that he’s someone I’d fall in love with if I ever met him — in fact, I don’t think we’d get along very well at all. But that’s not what my ship is about. It’s self-love, really. It’s about projecting the worst parts of yourself onto someone and then loving them wholeheartedly and unconditionally. Loving him is like comforting the little child in me who still wants to know why me? Why was I chosen to be the bad one?

…Besides, it can’t hurt that he’s really god damn pretty.

[pbandjesse]

I have come home and am in my own bed. It's nice to be here sbd not because I was in a ton of distress. I actually had a really good day.

I was worried though. Because I slept horribly last night. I was very on edge and tired but I couldn't get myself to a place where I could comfortably close my eyes. I ended up watching cow hoof ferrying and listening to video game things but I still didn't fall asleep until 2.

And then I was up at 4. And 7. And finally at 8. It was not a restful night. Which made it hard to get ready not even because I was tired but I felt all over the place. I was just struggling to complete my tasks and steps.

But I would and would feel good enough. I actually would get to a place where I felt good and that was nice after how much my stomach hurt yesterday.

I would go for a walk again. I ate some berries. I went to see the froggies and pet the goats. And headed back to arts and crafts. Where I sewed the hammock again and set up for the day.

Tati came and we made a half a plan for how to handle the camp accreditation people. And while I was a little nervous, mostly I was just looking forward to the day.

And it was a pretty good day. Our first group was top bar and they were a lot of fun. The issue is always once my last top bar is done. And boy week starts.

Boy week is tough. And while many of the boys are sweethearts, they are much quicker to give up and not do the work and just scribble and tell me they tried and don't want to do it anymore. Which I find ridiculously disrespectful. So when pioneers came and half of them just drew nonsense on their spoons and basically wasted the materials in 4 minutes and said they were done. Thankfully their councilor backed me up and we made them work for a while longer. And the half of the group that was trying made me feel a lot better.

And I had no tears at lunch when I just went right to the office and got my chipotle and ate on the porch and felt a lot better about everything. I also sent my grad school transcripts to Elizabeth so they could put that with my certs to be able to brag that I have my masters to the ACA people.

I thought I would take another walk but I got half way across the field and heard Alexi was walking the ACA people around near my building so I quickly walked up there to catch them. I didn't want them to come when I had a group so this was perfect.

I think they liked me. They complimented how organized the space was and I told them about my projects and systems. We discussed metal working and casting and how we did sewing machine work last week and they kept going

Wow. I've never met someone who does this. And it was really really cool. They barely asked me any questions because I was dazzling them. It was awesome. And I just heard that we did super well on everything. I hope we get to learn more details because I would love to know.

And after they left I spent some time hanging out in the hammock until my next group came. They came 20 minutes early. And I told them absolutely not go do something else and they were like okay cool we had not looked at the time. So I chilled in the hammock for a while and read my graphic novel. Which is fine I don't think it's my favorite but there are parts of it I like. It's written like an anthology so it's not so different stories. And some of the art is really good. I just wish the stories were like a little more flashed out They all feel like chapters in

larger stories.

When the group came back they did a really good job. They were little and I had sent Tatiana down to homestead to steal more yarn because we really did not have enough to do as much hair as she has been having. And she's doing a beautiful job putting the hair on but she's just using a lot of yarn because she doesn't want them to look bald. Which I get but also we don't have the much yard and we have two more days to get there. And it was fun and soon they were off and we had another little break.

I chilled in my hammock and watched a TikTok and ate a piece of chocolate and for once stockade was on time. They went out front and they wash their hands and a couple of them asked about casting and I said well let's sit and talk about it for a second so I had them all come in and I showed them casting and I showed them metal stamping and they were so excited. It was the most excited I'd seen the stockade boys to do anything it'll very long time. And half of them did the metal stamping and half of them did the casting some of them just made bracelets because they had done the casting last week and it just was so good. Everyone had so much fun and I was having a blast and they were so sweet. And they really just did a great job. They wanted to stay until the last possible second. But they did a great job cleaning up and I kicked him out once the day camps got there but they were so much fun. The only real problem we had was we only have one anvil for doing the metal stamping so if I do this again next year I will be asking for another anvil and some numbers and shapes probably. And then right towards the end when I did my last past someone did not wait for me to tell them it was okay to touch it and they grabbed it and thankfully it was solid at least but they still hurt themselves. Not terribly they didn't get a blister or anything but I think it startled all of us. I told him to go rinse his hand under cold water and he didn't even have a blister but it was a little scary for a moment there.

Our last day camp group was fine. There's a couple kids in that particular group that are a problem every week. And the counselors in that group were exceedingly unhelpful. Just completely checked out. And loud about how checked out they were and how much they didn't like the kids and that was pretty frustrating. But we made it through. And the one counselor complemented me on how patient I was and how he could tell that I had been a teacher and that made me feel really good. I really do have infinite patience for most children.

Once the kids are cleaned up and everything was put away I went down to the office to check in about a few things and I found out that the horse girls were spreading rumors that I was being more dramatic about me and Anna doing the same projects and was actually true. And I just reiterated that I just find it frustrating when I have been planning my projects since January that we are doing the same things and then the kids are coming to me and being like I already did them. And so I was a little frustrated and I sent CJ a very long message to tell her how frustrated I was but I'm pretty much over it now. I don't think it's going to happen for the rest of the summer and if it does I will be shocked because it wouldn't make any sense. At least the most of the stuff that the overlaps have been happening have made some amount of sense. Like it makes sense for early American crafts but still frustrated because it makes me sound like a villain and like I'm trying to be the main character when really I just want everyone's programs to be successful and us to be doing interesting and interactive things and doing the best job that we can and doing the same projects in two different program areas where they're not growing on each other is stupid.

I saw Tyler across the field and I waved and I told him I was going home. And then I got my car and I headed out.

I stopped at 7-Eleven and I got two pieces of pizza for dinner. It was $2.50 because there was a deal. And I also got a donut to have for breakfast tomorrow. And then I drove home. It was kind of a long drive because there was a bunch of traffic cuz people are stupid and don't know how to merge off of 83. But it wasn't about drive and I got back here before 5:30.

I found narcan outside on the sidewalk. Like a sealed container of it so I threw that in the back of the car. Don't know why the universe thought I needed that but I have that now. And then I came upstairs after talking to our neighbor for a few minutes. And it was just so nice to see James. They look so handsome. And sweetp seems so excited to see me too.

James was making pasta pasta and I sat in the kitchen with them and we talked and laughed and it was great. We both did our little intro bits that we do mine at camp and there's at the museum. Including all of our pauses for jokes and laughter. And then I opened some mail. My new sandals came. And four new dear America books that I'm very excited to read. And I put some stuff away and discussed with James what we're going to wear for Sam and Paul's engagement party this weekend. I requested that James send pictures to Paul of the two dresses I have is options because I'm not sure what summer attire means. And then I dropped a dress on the ground and I acted like it was the worst thing that ever happened and very dramatically fell into the bed. Where I remained for 15 minutes because it was nice in there.

James had a game to play online with their friends at 6:00 so I would take a very long bath around that time.

I shaved and washed my hair and scrubbed my face and it felt great. I was in there for a very long time. And when I got out I used all the nice lotions and put on a soft dress and laid in front of the air conditioner to dry my hair for a while. And then I started working on this post. I put some stuff away and I cut sweetp's toes. And now I'm getting a little sleepy. I thought maybe I would have a snack but I'm not actually hungry I'm just bored. I actually am probably just going to go drink some water because I did have water today but probably not enough. And hopefully I will sleep better tonight.

I think I'll stay at camp tomorrow. I hope tomorrow is a good day and fun and nice. And I hope I get to go swimming. And I hope coming home on Wednesday heals me. Because I'm going to bring lunch tomorrow again so I don't have to be stressed about it and when I have breakfast I'll have my donut. And I have two apples at camp that I can look forward to. So hopefully no stress. No food anxiety.

I hope you guys all have a great night. I hope you sleep well and you take care of yourselves. Tell the people around you that you love them. Good night everybody

[levbolton]

It is I, anon from earlier today and I can now in confidence tell you that your fics have broken me down into nothingness.

Not only am I stupid and cannot read tags but I repeatedly let myself be comforted by your writing only to be hit with the sad truth at the end. You can’t keep getting away with this /j .Your style is so unique and I can feel the passion you have for the characters as you can see their inner turmoils on the writings. I love how you bring them to life

My personal favourite is Monologue (which is highly underrated btw). I love the dynamic between Fumi and Maki plus Fumi talking about her day made me smile so much. Then cane the gut wrenching feeling about Maki. Honestly you managed to balance the fluff with the angst out so well and I really adored it.

To conclude this annoying fan’s rambling, you are my favourite blue period writer and such a great storyteller. I know how you’ve stated that the fandom is quite inactive (cause it is) but your presence manages to be so outstanding to me. I don’t know why I was too nervous to follow now but I might as well write my letter of appreciation so it can be covered by the bots.

I hope you are able to continue doing what you love and have a great rest of day. 🙃

thanks op, kinda figured bcs i have emails from ao3 and your usernames match

personally 'monologue' is quite the lackluster for me, i wanted to use the concept, i think i wanted to make it about ytyt with yotasuke that would tell yatora about the summer festival only to reveal at the end that yatora was unconscious the whole time so yotasuke wasn't talking with anyone, i got the idea while working on 'a psychological take' (where i wrote already a summer festival so it felt unnecessary to do it again) and at the same time i wanted to write fumimaki (bcs there's literally nothing for this married couple, almost canon i'd say, more canon than ytyt), so i combined both, i was still in a phase where i wanted to kill all characters and make them suffer which i think i did a lot and now i just want to write them relax and be happy (writing depression is hard), so it's not really that original inside my head, but im glad at least someone else likes it (for me billy of tea was way more fun to think about)

tbh i've been thinking about moving on from blp for quite a few months already but i simply can't find something else to interest me the same way ytyt does, which sucks bcs if i don't write then no one will write stuff, rn i want to finish this fic i'm sorking on (i hope i get to 100k), then a oneshot about ytyt soulmates and another oneshot about miki and ayano only, then idk, i think it would be good to retire (not to be petty actually, but i did write 40% of the words in the yatoyota tag on ao3)

fandom isn't really only inactive, it is now a bit (i continuously try to collect blp fans here and on twt, the more the merrier), but i just felt ignored since the anime was airing, again maybe it was the bad timing bcs i started posting my first fic towards the end of the anime when people lost the interest bcs that adaptation is horrible, then in february yamaguchi had covid and from march to july it was complete hiatus and then the whole dj drama (which i'd lie if i said the mob mentality to drop it didn't affect me too although i was the one to uncover the doujinshis on my own weeks before it got to twitter, anyway my idea was: this isn't a piece of media i care about and i am already deeply in love with blue period so whatever, my respect for yamaguchi decreased and i got a passive aggressive attitude towards her until she posted the new year ytyt picture with bunnies this january, now i seriously don't care abt whatever else she drew - also damn i'm really side railing with this)

thanks again for your support, sorry for the long unnecessary text lmao, i have too much free time

[doubleedgemode]

I was considering putting together a personal summary of art for this year, and with many of the pieces being Guilty Gear (mostly A.B.A) fanart, I decided to try if I could fill a separate summary with just A.B.A pictures... And so, lo and behold.

Without counting the first two months, when she wasn't announced for Strive, I only did NOT draw any A.B.A at all on just ONE month... Which is uhhh:

... Well, we can all agree that she's definitely been my muse this year haha..

While I have liked A.B.A before she dropped in Strive, I prefered to be more focused on other stuff til she got added in. I really expected to wait more for her arrival, but I remember it as if it were yesterday!

This year has been a rollercoaster of emotions and changes for me, but having some familiarity in drawing the same homunculus has been... comforting? And has given me a lot of inspiration and ideas to practice, drawing-wise, not to mention that her return drew me back into GG, too! What else... It made me pick up Frankenstein and I've rambled so much about her to my friends that even the ones that aren't into these games sometimes send me A.B.A stuff because of course LMAO. Also she's very hot to me which never hurts lmao.

I've said it before but her character means a lot to me, specially her arc in Strive, and it was released during a time in my life that I really needed it. Trying to understand A.B.A, be it by reading her lore, discussing it with people or writing my own rants about her character has, in a certain way, helped me confront some uglier aspects of myself and inspired me to hopefully improve. While I'm not much of a tattoo person myself, (I love learning about them, but I don't know how I'd fare with the needles myself lol, and etc) I'm seriously considering to maybe get a subtly A.B.A-themed tattoo someday, because she means THAT much to me. I hope that doesn't change..

Next, I want to give a huge shout-out to the A.B.A fan community I've had the pleasure of interacting with yer. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. First, thanks for the art, posts, tags and more that you create, as the site had a drought of them before she got added in. But of course there's people who have been more constant than me in representing her before Strive, and I tip my hat off to them.

Next, I think some of the warmest reception that my art (and ramblings) has gotten has been in this part of the fandom, too. THANK YOU VERY MUCH! Whether you're a regular and I often see your username appearing in my notes, or someone that appears less often. Thanks whether you like, or reblog, or just read. Thanks specially for the nice tags some of you leave because they always make my day. Thanks for even sticking with this blog when it digresses from GG and even delves into more personal matters.

Ultimately, I think that it's beautiful that (even outside this site) there's been a group of very varied people who all came together to share their joy, and/or relatability of a fucked up digital homunculus whose song claims that she isn't able to fit in this world, that just wants to make a difference and be free. I also love Paracelsus, Paracelsus fans get behind me but hands down my fave that kickstarted all this is the homunculus lol.

Readers, I wish you Happy Holidays, or a pleasant time regardless if you don't celebrate. While at the moment I'm typing this there's still a bit of time left til New Year, I do also hope 2025 is kind to you and brings you good things.

-Edge