#dreamups

[vane-sya]

DreamUp Creation by darkone795

[pensamentsisomnis]

[karynvienerblog]

[a00zmtisay]

[niqhtlord01]

Humans are weird: Not Having It, Death

Alien shape shifter appears: Fear me and tremble mortals, for I am your death.

Human: Bullshit; you’re not death.

Alien: Oh but I am.

Human: Death is covered in chocolate, and I doubt your dry ass is white chocolate.

Alien: What?

Human 2: Yeah I don’t get it either.

Human: What’s not to get?

Human: I am deathly allergic to chocolate, therefore death is chocolate.

Alien: I will not suffer this inso-

Human 2: Now that’s not the same thing.

Human 2: What you are describing is what will kill you, not death itself.

Human 3: At best that could be argued that chocolate is your personification of death.

Alien: I-

Human: Well even if chocolate is my personification of death, and it kills me; then clearly it still is death!

Human 3: *Turns to human 2* He does have a point there.

Human 2: By that logic anything that you are allergic to can be considered death.

Human 3: It’d be gerbils for me.

Human 1 & 2: *Look at human 3*

Human 3: What?

Human 3: I flare up when I touch their fur and my throat closes up.

Human 3: I’d be dead in minutes if I touched one of those furry fuckers.

Human: So death for you is tiny little gerbils?

Human 2: *Snickering*

Human 3: It’s not fucking funny!

Human 3: Those little bastards scamper all over the place and you can barely hear them.

Human 3: One could brush up against me and I wouldn’t know till my throat locked up.

Alien: Are you all implying your species version of death is what you are allergic to?

Human: Well yeah.

Human 2: What else would it be?

Alien: GUNS! KNIVES! MONSTERS WITH SHARP TEETH!

Human 3: Well we deal with those all the time so they’re not really as scary as you think.

Alien: Why does death need to be scary!?

Alien: Death is death!

Human 2: Exactly!

Human 2: Which is why death is really being eaten alive by those little fish at malls that nibble on your dead skin cells of your feet.

Human 1 & 3: *Groaning*

Human 3: Show me one instance of that actually happening and I will admit that those little fish are really death.

Human 2: That’s just it!

Human 2: There are no examples because they cover them up!

Human: I have seen our government fail to cover up sex scandals in the highest seats of political power, but you’re telling me that they are really just diverting all their efforts to cover up deaths by little mall fish?

Human 2: It’s a bigger business than you would think.

Human 1 & 3: *Groaning again*

Human 3: You sound more like a pyramid scheme now.

Alien: As fascinating as this philosophical debate is about what death is, I really just want to kill you all and harvest your life essence.

Human: Look at Mr. Fancy britches over here.

Human: *Mocking tone* I’m too important to wait on you, so just die already. Hurdy, hurdy, hur.

Human 2 & 3: *Laughing*

Human: Look, we’re going to let you kill us but we first have to decide on what form of death you take or you won’t get as much life essence.

Alien: *Stops itself from eating Human 3* Wait, really?

Human 3: *Still between the jaws of alien* Oh yeah; when we are killed by the real death we give out a shit loads of life essence.

Alien: Why are you telling me this then?

Alien: Why not save your selves by trying to distract me?

Human 2: Because in our way we feel the least amount of pain.

Human 2: So giving us less pain gives you more life essence; win win for everyone.

Alien: *Sets human 3 down and nods*

Alien: Why not let me kill you each one at a time, so I can be your own versions?

Human: Won’t work now since we all know we have different versions.

Human: We need to agree on all the same version or it won’t benefit any of us.

Human 2 & 3: *murmur in agreement*

Alien: Okay then, why don’t we start what you all think is death and we’ll narrow down from there?

*Six hours later*

Human: Sometimes I’m afraid I’ll get my fingers slit open when I open those little blue candy bars and I’ll bleed to death.

Alien: *Banging head against rock*

[nikb0mh6bl]

[stanmahana1971blog]

[masonicon]

update about lawsuit against deviantart

[a4tbtxy5ys]

[gkommqr8tc]

[vane-sya]

DreamUp Creation by Melsvenart

[pensamentsisomnis]

[ofrqrkobn3]

[highonai]

Some fancy vehicles.

[verridith]

Reminder:

If you use genAI for ANY reason I will block you. You are not welcome in my spaces.

[stanmahana1971blog]