#drawing sonics limbs is so difficult

[ghostlygustie]

hey tumblrinas, heres more sonic

hes so small that hes using a psp as a snowboard?

[skaruresonic]

Saw you receiving some compliments so I thought I'd give you some myself!

I really do dig your artstyle, specifically the more cartoony side of it. Partially out of personal preference but also because I've noticed that you tend to use very bold coloring, which fits extra well for characters like Sonic and the gang

Some time ago I stumbled upon your piece on Amy chasing Sonic while riding a bike, and at first glance I almost mistook it for some lost mid 90s official artwork, until I looked closer and noticed the somewhat thinner limbs and more exaggerated expressions which seem to be more your style

Ever thought about drawing characters from other franchises?

Thanks ^^

I really do dig your artstyle, specifically the more cartoony side of it. Partially out of personal preference but also because I've noticed that you tend to use very bold coloring, which fits extra well for characters like Sonic and the gang

For OaS specifically, I was aiming for a "watercolor manga cover" feeling coupled with the checkers aesthetic of the Advance games. Like warm colors with a little bit of fuzzy marker bleeding happening:

---

Some time ago I stumbled upon your piece on Amy chasing Sonic while riding a bike, and at first glance I almost mistook it for some lost mid 90s official artwork, until I looked closer and noticed the somewhat thinner limbs and more exaggerated expressions which seem to be more your style

Fun fact: Sonic originally had an ice cream cone in his hand:

Thought about putting Tails in a tandem seat behind Amy, but the drawing gods weren't having it, sadly :<

I like practicing different Sonic styles, but Classic is probably one of the most difficult to emulate because the shading is so subtle.

Uekawa style:

Karasuno style:

---

Ever thought about drawing characters from other franchises?

Not really because I feel like I wind up disappointing people, either from an inability to finish what I start or them just not digging the style. That's why I prefer to draw either Sonic or original stuff.

When I was younger, I wanted to study sequential art, so that's why the style I use for more "realistic" pieces takes heavy influence from comic books. I didn't really study the anime style that much; it's a little difficult for me tbh.

I'm sure you've seen my character designs for my current project. Unfortunately, due to focusing more on coding than illustration, I don't have full finished pieces - doesn't make much sense to spend weeks on a CG I might not use - but I can share some things in various states of completion:

Sometimes I draw stuff for the language program. The last project I finished was a series of emotion words:

The director also wanted a kids' book where Beaver challenges Turtle to a race. Turtle wins by biting Beaver on the tail and getting flipped through the air to the other side of the pond:

[supernova-variations]

10th Doctor ‘Bloody Sundays, man’

(not my gif! but just look at how cute he is)

Pairing: 10th Doctor x reader

Warnings: none!, pure fluff (well, if Sundays trigger you (just as they trigger me) then maybe you wanna skip on this one)

Word count: about 800

A/N: this one was written on a prompt given by my best friend as a way of curing my writer’s block! i was supposed to write something that would contain a line: i would have spat back. enjoy!  this one goes to you, dude, ily x

‘Bloody Sundays, man’

Finding yourself in a dead-end with no chance of surviving is a typical day for both of you – meaning, of course, the Doctor and you. If it hadn’t been for the unexpected visit the Doctor paid you in this evening, you would have been in your bed by know, snoring into the pillow with an alarm set to ring at promptly six in the morning.

He knew how much you disliked the anxious feeling of upcoming Mondays. You would have been mad not to accept the offer of watching – supposedly – the birth of the brightest star in the universe. After all, it’s like it has always been: you, jumping into the TARDIS, no second thoughts.

However, the dread of the upcoming week doesn’t seem that paralyzing to you now. What scares you, on the other hand, is an alien, hovering over you with a slick substance drooling from its… bottom lip? Well – it was something difficult to classify, as the alien’s head was one big mouth itself. No visible eyes, no nose. Just big juicy lips with limbs sticking out at the bottom. It had only one aim: to eat you both alive.

‘Should have stayed in bed.’

The civilization of Chanaponatolatus (who came up with that name?!) was safe and sound, partying like there’s no tomorrow, under the sky lit by a freshly emerged star, and it was all thanks to you. There was; however, one problem. Saving their lives from monstrous, starving walking-lips also meant that you were going to get trapped in their ship. And that’s when the problems have started. One of which was the fact, that you were floating in space with not enough fuel to make you survive another twenty minutes.

So there you were. Tied back to back with the smallest possibility of escaping – the second problem that needed solving. You were certain that even if you somehow managed to avoid having your head eaten off, the exploding spaceship would end your existence.

‘I won’t make it to work tomorrow after all, thanks to you’, you muttered struggling to shift your knotted hands just enough to reach the pocket of the Doctor’s jacket. You were trying to smuggle the sonic screwdriver into your hands, but all you had managed to do is to earn a few Time-Lordy chuckles, as ‘your fingertips tickled’.

Well, at least he was going to die laughing.

 ‘Oi! All I was planning, was a nice Sunday evening, gazing at a newly born star. Puppy just happened to drag along,’ the Doctor defended himself, wiggling a bit to help you.

 ‘Did you just call this thing Puppy?!’ A squeal came out of your mouth as one of the creature’s long teeth scraped your cheek. Moreover, the odour coming from the dark, gaping hole wasn’t that pleasant either. If it hadn’t been for the sudden spark of the loose cables nearby, ‘Puppy’ would have had the first bite of its dinner.

‘Yeah, that’s her name, why?’

You couldn’t understand how the Doctor was so calm. Awaiting certain death, but still smiling. The carelessness of his attitude made you want to scrape that toothy grin of the Time Lord’s mouth. If only you could free your hands.

‘Oh, so that’s a her, fantastic,’ you mumbled under your nose.

‘Well, this species chooses their gender themselves. That’s so progressive, compared to you, humans-’

The next huge drop of phlegm dropped at your forehead and you closed your eyes, annoyed beyond existence.

‘I would have spat back.’

He chuckled as your hand tickled his backside while trying to retrieve the sonic.

At last, you could feel the device fall into your hand, and you had to stop yourself from screaming out of joy and drawing Puppy’s attention. As you pressed down the button with all the strength you had, you could feel the ties fall around your figures.

In the next second both of you were on your feet. The hissing cables and failing engines of the ship wailed under the influence of the sonic. The so-called Puppy – certainly not happy about that fact – hissed while opening her lips-head to swallow you whole.

 ‘Yeah, better get going now.’ The Doctor grabbed your hand, ready to lead you into the TARDIS, that was patiently waiting at the end of a corridor.

 ‘One more thing,’ you stopped him before he could drag you along, with his fast converse-covered feet. ‘You said you would have spat back.’ There was no further explaining needed, as your saliva reached the top of the alien’s head.

 And with that, off you went, running for your lives, with the TARDIS’s door looming in the distance. But most importantly, you were laughing.

[bryozoans]

I’ve discovered a new love for Metal Sonic and watching the OVA did not help. Somebody had better stop me. 

[aboysbestfriendishismum]

Chapter 54 - Clowns, tattoos and flamingos

In the previous chapter: they’ve just met again and Grace can’t stand Stone’s excessive sweetness and affection. She blurts it out to him, only to discover it was just some kind of test the guitarist set up to find out her intentions. They talk it out and decide to take things slowly with their relationship. Meg has to deal with two guys who try to hit on her then has a quick exchange with Mike Starr. She “uses” him to make McCready jealous and gets angry when she sees him apparently acting silly with two girls. A few days pass and Angie, suddenly gifted with a free day, goes to Eddie’s apartment with the excuse of bringing him cake before the show at the Off Ramp that evening. They spend the afternoon together, Angie’s still tense when she’s with him and feels stupid for that but she slowly loosens up a bit. Jeff comes back home and breaks up their romance. Angie leaves with an excuse. Eddie follows her to get a “proper” goodbye with a kiss and asks her about their relationship because he wants to know where this is going. And that’s what she secretely wants to know too. They make it clear that they are a couple.

**

“JESUS. CHRIST.” and Eddie finally meets my sonic bomb “WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?”

“It’s just my alarm clock” I stretch out to turn it off and turn around, finding him sittin in the bed, his hair covering half of his face.

“So much for an alarm clock… sounds like a fucking air raid siren” he goes on, looking at nothing in front of him with his only half closed eye I can see.

“I’m a heavy sleeper” I explain as I put my arms under the pillow and bury my face in it.

“I see” I feel him slowly shifting under the blankets until he comes close and reaches out for me with a hug.

“You never sleep, you can’t understand” I turn on my side and my face is just inches from his.

“Now I slept very good though” he kisses me lightly on my lips, dry an rough like sandpaper against his soft ones.

“Double bed is confy, huh?” I mean, I surely don’t complain when we snuggle up on his single bed to sleep.

“Sure, ‘cause it’s all about the bed, obviously” his embrace tightens and I know getting up this morning will be double difficult.

“I’m sorry I woke you up from one of your best sleeping times. Today I work an awful shift” I try and let go of him but Eddie intertwines his legs with mine to keep me from moving.

“I need to have a serious chat with Jack…” he starts showering my face with kisses, from my cheek, then towards my ear, then again on my cheek pretty close to the corner of my mouth.

“Hehe I wish I was working at the mini mart, I’d go to work in my pjs. And I wouldn’t get up at a quarter to six”

“A QUART- err, sorry… it’s a fucking quarter to six in the morning?” Eddie yells into my ear for a second, then settles for a volume more suitable for dawn.

“Yeah. I work the breakfast-shift at Roxy's” I sigh and it looks like my morning misfortune is getting me extra cuddle.

“Since when?”

“Since I have to return the favour to people who covered my shifts for me when I was away”

“Uh. It’s my fault then” Eddie props his head up on an elbow on the pillow and gazes down at me.

“Ehehe no, well, it’s not”

“I’m sorry” he gives me a pouty face that would knock me out if I weren’t already lying down.

“No problem, it was worth it” I try and untangle my legs from him but the dumbass won’t let me.

“Oh really?” I can see the glimpse in his eyes even in the half darkness of my room.

“Yes”

“Well, in that case…” he dives down and kisses me, running his fingers through my hair, then backs up on his back on the bed trying to pull me over him.

“Eddie… I gotta get up” I try and resist between kisses but I’m not exactly convinced in the first place.

“Five minutes” he replies pushing himself and me on my side of the bed once again.

I grab his t-shirt, shut my eyes and in a few seconds he seals my eyelids with kisses, then my lips again, while his hair tickle my face and arrange itself independently as to shielding us both like a tent.

“Eddie?” I don’t really know how much time has passed but I try and catch his attention the moment he slows down with kisses.

“Five minutes” he repeats, rubs on my leg then holds on to it and kisses me with more passion.

The fact I’ve been getting accostumed to Eddie’s lovely torturing techniques for the past ten days doesn’t mean I learned how to keep a cool head in these moments. Actually he kisses me for more than five seconds and I fucking lose my mind, and I don’t mean figuratively. Also when he’s just thinking about kissing me, while I’m talking normally or saying some stupid shit, that is basically the same thing, and he breaks eye contact with me and starts looking around until he sets his eyes on the lower part of my face, as if he tried to read my lips; when he’s still in that moment of reflection, that I’ve now learned to recognize, that comes right before the approach and the attack, my words regularly begin to sound muffled and totally unnecessary, and my head becomes lighter, so light that if it wasn’t for him holding me up with a kiss, it would probably fall off my neck.

“Eddie” I try again as he’s busy giving me light and subtle pecks going from my chin to my jawline. He hooks his finger under the collar of my pyjama top and pulls it aside to kiss my shoulder.

“Eddie?”

“Mm?” he mumbles withough interrupting his business.

“Come on… I gotta… open… the diner” the little shit turns his kisses into bites right when I speak and makes it difficult for me to open my mouth without losing track of my words and keeping my breath regular.

“One minute left”

“Roxy’s… she’s gonna… ugh… kick my ass, Eddie, com-me ooon” he keeps his game going and I’m so close I can see the corner of his mouth curl up in a grin.

Obviously getting up from this bed is the last thing I’d do now but, really, if I’m late today that I have to open the restaurant, I’ll be dead.

“I’ll give you a ride so you’ll get there on time, ok?” he suggests and stops kissing me for a while, covering my shoulder back up and staring at the imaginary lines he’s drawing on the fabric of my pyjama with his fingers.

“Ok” it takes me a while to answer, enchanted by his touch and the sound of his deep breath.

“Fine” he loosens his grip on my thigh and gives me a small peck on the lips. Then another. Then one more, then two more, three… With his free hand he gently strokes my hair and forehead.

“Eddie”

“Thirty… twenty-nine… twenty-eight…” he starts whispering every time his lips touch mine and it makes me laugh. But that doesn’t prevent him from keeping on going.

“These seconds are veeery long” I joke after a while, pretending to check an imaginary watch on my wrist.

“TEN, NINE, EIGHT…” Eddie’s kiss are shorter and faster and he counts loudly at every smack “TWO, ONE” and instead of zero there’s one last long and delicious kiss.

Eddie untangles his legs from mine, pulls away from me and rolls on his side of the bed with a sigh. Am I still able to breathe? I don’t know. Looks like I can. With difficulty, I pull myself up sitting on the bed, I push the duvet aside and swing my legs off the bed to get up. I’m feeling the floor around with the tip of my toes searching for my slippers, as I stretch out my limbs and let out a huge yawn, when I suddenly feel two very strong hands grabbing my hips and pulling me back on the bed.

“What the-” I can barely register what’s happening, I’m immediately silenced by Eddie’s mouth and it seems like he’s trying to devour my lips with kisses that are… rougher? Yeah, I think that’s the word, rough and impatient. With a quick move of his knee between my legs he widens them and crawls in between and literally crashes down on me, as he keeps showering me with kisses and caressing me everywhere. As a reflex, I tighten my legs slightly and the movement doesn’t go unnoticed because Eddie starts grinding his hips and rubbing himself against me.

Fuck. It’s happening.

I guess the time has come. Unexpectedly? I wouldn’t say that, we’ve been dating for a couple of weeks, I knew we’d have soon gone from making out to something more. Actually I was expecting it to happen earlier. We’ve been spending the last three nights at home together with the excuse of the rain, the cold weather, not being in the mood to go out and having to wake up early. I slept at his place twice thanks to Jeff being at Laura’s apartment. I thought (and well, yeah, hoped) that the forced proximity caused by Eddie’s single bed would have inevitably led us to sex. But it didn’t happen. That’s why last night, since I knew Meg would have come home late, because of the rain, the cold, I don’t know, the locusts and some other shit, I asked him to come over. The comfort of my double bed could maybe help the natural course of things. Nothing. As usual, Eddie took his time for kissing and cuddling and torturing, and god bless that, but when he said Good night and I felt his grip on me slowly loosen up as he drifted off to sleep, I knew nothing would have happened. And I actually felt a little bad about it. It’s true that I’m very nervous about this and also kind of worried and I also feel slightly intimidated whenever a certain line is crossed and we get too close… Ok, I’m just scared and I feel stupid about it. But the idea to make it with him doesn’t only inspire unjustified terror but well, obviously, also a whole wide spectrum of very different emotions. And all the emotions are gathering together in this moment, which is not exactly the right one. I mean, Eddie, we got a lot of chances before, and you make up your mind just today that I have to open the diner?? And where the hell are my hands? I always ask myself this question whenever I’m with Eddie for a reason. And as a matter of fact, my arms lie randomly still on the bed, one is on the pillow, with my fingers entangled in my hair, the other one hanging freely off the bed. I join my hands behind Eddie’s neck. He responds sliding his hand inside my pyjama pants and strongly grabbing my ass cheek. The vehemency of the act surprises me and I let out something between a yelp and a groan, because obviously I can’t help making a complete ass of myself even before my first time with the perfect guy. Eddie grins against my lips and gives me another squeeze, which later turns into a pat and a stroke from my butt to my hips.

“I’ll go make coffee” the sexiest voice asks this question and of course I don’t understand shit because I don’t even know where I am. I only know I can’t feel his body on mine anymore, and neither his touch.

“Huh?” I open my eyes and see him as he lifts up on his arm and pulls his hair back with the other hand to keep it away from his face.

“I mean, I’ll go and get dressed quickly and make coffee while you shower and get ready so we can save time”

“Uh! Y-yeah, ok”

“Ok” Eddie leans on me for a quick kiss on my lips, still holding his hair back with his hand, then jumps out of bed and a second later he already has his pants on. He’s about to open the door, then turns towards me one more time “No milk, no sugar, right?”

“Yes, thanks” I reply to his cruel display of cheekbones and dimples and he’s out of here right after that.

Right, no sugar for me this morning.

**

“God, it’s not even 10!” Steffy complains behind the counter, focused on cutting oranges for the juice, and I hear the bad news too.

“What the fuck?” as I pass the umpteenth order to Brian in the kitchen, I look at the clock on the wall and have the sad confirmation.

“Yeah, time won’t pass today” poor girl, she isn’t used to this shift either.

Yet we got a lot of customers today and when there’s a lot of work, time usually goes fast, especially in the morning. But that’s not happening today.

“Aren’t those your friends?” I turn around at Steffy’s questions and I almost drop the tray I’ve just taken with everything on it when I see Eddie, Stone and Mike in the middle of the room, looking around in search of a table.

“Yes, they are” Stone finds a place in Steffy’s sector and points it to the others, while Eddie spots me and nods at me as soon as we make eye contact. Strangely enough I remember how to keep my balance, food gets safely to the table in the corner and I can go back to take the other dishes.

“Take care of them, let’s swap, ok?” the blond girl smiles at me and walks away with pen and notepad in her hands, welcoming a group of girls sitting at a table that was supposed to be mine.

I take a deep breath and go to meet the three. Come on, they’re friends, arent’ they? And they can’t read minds, as far as I know. Anyway since things with Eddie have err… changed, I always feel awkward around the guys. On one hand it’s like I’m afraid of letting them know inadvertently, on the other hand I feel guilty because of this secret. Because I’m hiding something from them that, to a certain extent, involves them too. And I feel guilty towards Eddie, ‘cause I know he doesn’t like this at all. I play dumb, get to their table and I’m about to open my mouth when the juke box unexpectedly starts calling me.

Angelina, Angelina, please bring down your concertina

And play a welcome for me ‘cause I’ll be coming home from sea

“You don’t know anything about this, right?” I look at them as they silenty chuckle.

“You won’t believe that” Mike starts.

“Yeah, actually I already don't”

“He hasn’t said anything yet” Stone complains.

“I don’t believe you on mistrust”

“We were round there looking for a table and my eye came right across this song” Gossard adds, mimicking the scene with the juke-box-shaped napkin dispenser.

“How fortunate” I keep my hands on my hips in a threatening position.

“It’s a very happy song” Mike chimes in trying to make things better.

“And it really suits her, look at her” Stone jokes pointing at my bitchy face and they all laugh, Eddie included. And he hasn’t spoken a word yet.

“What do you want to eat?” I roll my eyes and then look down at my notepad, holding the pen, ready to take their orders.

“I’ll have a Big Bopper with caramel sauce. And a cup of coffee” Stone answers.

“Coffee for me too, possibly intravenous, darling” Mike bares his arm and holds it out dramatically on the table towards me. Maybe it’s just me but I have the feeling that, since things between Meg and him got more complicated, Mike’s doing everything to be funny and kind to me. I’m not saying he’s not sincere, maybe he’s just afraid he could come out as colder or more distant since he and my friend are avoiding each other. So he’s always cracking jokes or calling me names to give the idea nothing’s changed between us.

“Hehe and don’t you want anything to eat?”

“No, thanks. I’ll eat some of Stone’s pancakes”

“No fuckin'way, buy something for yourself!”

“But that’s a huge portion, you couldn’t eat it all by yourself not even if you wanted to”

“You don’t know me well yet then”

“Come oooon”

“And if I got leftovers, rather than give them to you, I’d feed them to the first stray dog I meet on the road. Or to Jeff Ament. That is basically the same thing”

I enjoy the fight between the two and make eye contact with Eddie, who smiles at me but seems completely unaffected by what his friends are saying.

“Eddie, what about you? What will you eat?” I ask and focus back on the notepad.

“Uhm let me see… surely something to eat because I’m starving…” Eddie takes the menu and starts examining it now “Also because I only had a quick coffee this morning”

“Oh really??” I ask him abruptly, maybe too much, so that the guitarists give me a puzzled look.

“Yeah, I was in a hurry, kind of” he goes on and Stone’s about to open his mouth, surely to ask him the reason for that, and I can’t let him.

“Ok so I suggest Big Kahuna, which is the most nutritious thing we have in the menu! What do you want with your eggs? You can choose between plain potatoes or hash brown, of course I’ll write not to give you bacon. Wait, you eat eggs, right? Hehe I always forget, are you vegetarian or vegan? Sorry, I’m dumb” I begin blathering on leaving the guys speechless. Eddie gives me the same perplexed look he gave me the first time we met, right in this diner, while I was spewing random words out at him. There was no audience back then though. And why did I remember this right now? And why are my knees shaking?

“Yeah yeah, I eat them but now… I’m more in the mood for something sweet.” Eddie says hiding a little smile behind the menu “I’ll take a Wake up, little Susie”

“Oh great! What will you have with waffles?”

“Chocolate syrup and hazelnuts” he closes the menu and holds it out at me.

“Would you like whipped cream too?” I try and take the menu from him but he won’t let go.

“Yes, thank you” he basically electrocutes me on the spot with his smile and lets go of the menu.

“You didn’t ask me if I wanted it!” Stone pouts and Mikes laughs at his face.

“Would you like whipped cream with your pancakes too, Stone?”

“God no, I hate it, but thanks all the same” he gives me a huge grin and hands me his and Mike’s menus.

“I’ll be back soon” I tear them off his hands and walk away.

I slip the order to the kitchen and take the coffee pot Steffy had just prepared. I fill the cups and bring them to the three weirdos table. One of them also happens to be particularly attractive today.

Drea-ea-ea-ea-eam, dream dream dream

Drea-ea-ea-ea-eam, dream dream dream

When I want you in my arms

When I want you and all your charms

Whenever I want you all I have to do is

Drea-ea-ea-ea-eam, dream dream dream

What if they selected this one too… Nah, it can’t be.

“Hot coffee with cold milk cream for Stone, my favorite one that is black for Mike and two sugar spoons for Eddie”

“Eddie didn’t ask you for coffee” Mike squints at me suspiciously.

“Oh. That’s true. Well, I gave it for gra-”

“You did fine, I really need to recharge batteries.” Eddie takes the cup in his hands while mine’s still there too and our fingertips lightly brush against each other for a second before I pull mine back.

“Early wake up, huh?” Gossards says and hides behind a sip of his coffee.

“Hehe yeah. And it was hard. I never ever wanted to get out of that bed…” he replies to Stone but he’s actually talking to me and I can’t do nothing but run away with the excuse of meeting new customers.

I take another couple of orders and from the kitchen they pass me the dishes for the guys. I put them on a tray and basically throw everything on their table before leaving, trying to avoid any other potentially embarrassing exchange.

Little bitty pretty one

Come on and talk to me

Lovey dovey lovey one

Come sit down on my knee

I give the paper bag containing two muffins and coffee to go to a guy with a nice fluo green mohawk, who left me the change as a tip. I try and keep my feet still whereas they’d love to keep the rhythm of the song by Thurston Harris, I take a glance at my friends table and meet Eddie’s eyes. This time he winks at me. Is he the author of this music selection? The strawberry shaped kitchen clock hanging under the counter beeps and that only means one thing: it’s time to clean the restroom and it’s up to me now. A brief look at the room to check everything’s calm and leave for the bathroom. The conditions are less desperate than I thought but I still don’t understand why women’s toilet is always the worst. I’m mopping the floor to La Bamba when I hear the door opening.

“The floor is wet, be careful”

“I will, thank you” that voice makes me snap with the mop in my hands and I end up pointing it right at his face.

“Eddie!”

“I come in peace” he puts his hands up and giggles at me.

“Why are you here?”

“Why do you usually go to the toilet?”

“And do you need to go now?”

“Yeah, it seems so… can’t I? And can you please put that thing down? It’s pretty threatening”

“I’ve just cleaned” I answer as I lower my guard and the mop and put it against the wall.

“I know, I swear I’ll take aim and hit the target right” one more wink, one more shitty grin before putting his hands down and get into one of the men’s stalls.

I shake my head and take the mop back. Why did I put it down then? What was I thinking? That Eddie’d come close and kiss me? At the restroom? Wow, Angie, aren’t you getting too romantic? I wash the bucket and the mop, I get out of the bathroom and with the keys I have hanging from a chain around my neck I open the closet that is exactly on the opposite side of the hallway, where I put everything away and look for garbage bags, paper towels and the yellow Wet Floor sign. I can’t hear who’s silently sneaking behind my back.

“Angie”

“Yeah?” I turn around and Eddie’s answer is taking my face between his hands and kissing me, the closet door shielding us from the rest of the world.

“What the hell are you doing?!” I protest in a low voice pushing him away.

“I washed my hands, I swear” he jokes and I’d slap him but slaps make noise and catch the attention, so I can’t.

“Eddie, stop joking”

“Aw come on, I wanted to kiss you… isn’t it obvious?” he gestures for me to listen.

Well when I was a young man, never been kissed

I got to thinking it over how much I had missed

So I got me a girl and I kissed her and then, and then

Oh lordy, well I kissed her again

Because she had kisses sweeter than wine…

“How many coins did you put into that fucking thing? Did you rob a church or something?”

“May god forgive me” he shakes his head and kisses me again, this time a little longer, before I push him away once again.

“Stop it! Someone could see us”

“I just borrowed some, I’ll give the money back to the priest tomorrow, trust me”

“What if Mike or Stone or both see us?” I ignore his jokes.

“Oh yeah. That would be a tragedy. Real drama. We can’t let it happen” he nods with a straight face then kisses me again, this time pushing me hard against the closet door, which opens wide and potentially makes us visible to a small part of the dining room.

“Is that what you’re trying to do? The subtleties, the jokes, the subliminal messages through songs, the attack at the bathroom… You’re trying to get us caught, aren’t you?” I take control of the situation and pull the closet door back behind me.

“I’m not doing it on purpose. I’m not doing anything. I just think it wouldn’t be so bad if they saw us kiss, like, who cares? It’s no big deal” he shrugs. And gets on my nerves.

“Yeah, no big deal, right? After all it’s only a favor I asked you, what’s the big deal? Just because something is important for me, it doesn’t mean it has to be for you too. I mean, who cares, right? You might as well have told them already” I take all the stuff I need, lock the closet, go past Eddie and back to the restroom.

“They don’t know anything.” Eddie follows me and stops at the doorway. I don’t reply and just look up at him “I didn’t tell them anything and I won’t tell them as long as you don’t want them to know”

“Ok” I open the paper towels dispenser and fill it up.

“And yeah, songs are messages, but they’re for you”

“Ok” I put the new garbage bags in the bins.

“And if you listen carefully, you’ll find out they’re not even that subliminal”

“Alright”

“I’m sorry” Eddie’s leaning against the sink, hands in pockets, staring at the floor.

“No, I am sorry” I walk up to him and bow down trying to meet his eyes and get back face to face with him.

“Hehe I think I’d better go back to the dining room” he smiles and looks up.

“Same here or Steffy will start cursing me if more people enter” I stand straight too and at this point I expect one last kiss from Eddie. Instead he pulls his hand out of his pocket and gently strokes my cheek, he smiles and just leaves like that.

I freeze in the middle of the restroom and just stand there forever until a high pitched voice wakes me up.

“Is it dry now? Can I?” a kid asks peeping inside through the door.

“Yes, sure, come in” I get out of the bathroom and back to reality as I think that the girl must have skipped school. I get to the dining room and spot two new couples of customers. I ask Steffy and she quickly says they’ve just arrived and I can take it slow. In the meantime I see Eddie standing at the juke box and I can’t help smiling internally. What does he have in store for me now? I look at him as he goes back to the table and takes his seat. Stone and Mike are having an apparently lively debate. I go and meet my new customers.

“Welcome to Roxy’s, I’m Angie. Do you already have an idea or can I recommend you something?”

Bb7 – G7 – D7

Three simple chords that make the intro of a song I love by The Flamingos. And I’m pretty sure Eddie has no idea. I ask the woman who’s just spoken to repeat what she asked, pretending the pen has suddenly stopped functioning, and try to focus.

My love must be a kind of blind love

I can’t see anyone but you

I write down Joe Di Maggio cheeseburger and Fats Domino Deluxe and walk back to the kitchen, barely avoiding a head-on collision with Steffy that luckily I don’t knock down.

Are the stars out tonight

I don’t know if it’s cloudy or bright

I give the note with the orders to the guys in the kitchen and lean against the wall as if I was about to fall.

The moon may be high

But I can’t see a thing in the sky

I only have eyes for you

A quick glance at my friends’ table and I see Stone holding the plate of pancakes in his hands, trying to keep it away from Mike, who dangerously comes close holding a fork. Eddie looks at me, perfectly still behind them.

I don’t know if we’re in a garden

Or on a crowded avenue

Mike stretches himself across the table and manages to steal a piece of pancakes from Stone, he bites it and blatantly chews on it with an open mouth to spite his friend. Eddie shifts on his seat, turning towards me.

You are here

And so am I

Maybe millions of people go by

Stone crumples a paper napkin and throws it at Mike, who takes it and throws it back at him and it ends right into Stone’s coffee cup. Eddie keeps on staring at me, putting one hand on his own cup, maybe to prevent it from being targeted as well, and tapping his fingers against it. From the kitchen I get another tray and quickly take it to the table.

But they all disappear from view

And I only have eyes for you

Once the customers get their food, I make my way back towards the counter. As I walk past the guys, Mike and Stone are subtly throwing food at each other and kicking each other under the table. Eddie’s eyes are following me and I fixate myself senseless on his fingertips running along the brim of his cup, until I crash into the cardboard cutout of Betty Boop in roller skates in the corner.

“Is everything alright?” Steffy asks me as she takes back the luckily empty tray I’ve just dropped on the floor, catching the attention of everybody in the room.

“Yeah yeah! Hehe it just… it just slipped” the juke box goes silent but my thoughts are very loud, especially when I take another look at Eddie, who smiles and looks… satisfied?

********************************************************************************************************************************

This bag weighs a ton. Maybe I got a little carried away at the library. I drag myself across the hallway up to my apartment’s door and it’s basically just adrenaline pushing me forward because thanks to late clubbing with Melanie last night, work shift at the salon, work shift at Roxy’s, the interview and my research, I consumed all my energy reserve. I turn the key into the lock and I can’t wait to jump in my bed face first without even undressing. I get in and notice lights are on in the living room and I guess Angie went out so fast to go see his significant other’s concert that she forgot to turn them off. But the unmistakable sound of someone crunching crispy chips disproves my theory.

“Hi Meg!” she greets me from the couch before I could go and scare her as I always do.

Big fluffy pink robe, blanket on her lap, chips bowl resting on the couch, dish with two still packaged sandwiches in it, glass of water on the coffee table. And without a coaster underneath. Something’s wrong here.

“Angie, hi! What are you doing at home?”

“I… live here? Or maybe I’ve been evicted in the meantime and didn’t get the notification?”

“Why aren’t you at the Off Ramp?” I ignore her joke ‘cause I’m tired and I don’t feel like beating around the bush for an hour with Angie’s non existing problems and mind-fucks before finally getting to the point as usual.

“I woke up at dawn this morning and it’s been a busy day, I’ll pass tonight. They’ll play there next Friday too, so…” Angie hands me the bowl and I grab a handful of chips before sitting next to her on the couch.

“Ok. And why aren’t you at the Off Ramp for real?” it’s true, our friends are playing gigs there basically every week but let’s not kid ourselves, surely there’s some other stupid fucking reason.

“Why do you always think there’s a secret story behind everything?” she asks reading my mind. Nuh, she’s not a wizard, it’s just that she always follows the same mental patterns and keeps repeating her silly schemes.

“Not always, only when it’s about you” I smile and take some more chips.

“Ok ok! I’m not there because I’m tired and… I want to avoid awkward encounters with movie stars like the other night” Angie puts the plate with sandwiches on the table and pouts, crossing her arms.

The last Pearl Jam show, again at the Off Ramp, was chosen by Cameron Crowe as a chance for the cast of the movie he’s about to film here in Seattle to meet each other for the fist time. The choice wasn’t random, Cam wanted the actors to soak up the atmosphere of the local music scene right from the start, since music plays a great role in the city life. And as far as I understood, music will have big space in the movie itself. Angie didn’t take it well, despite her cinematic inclinations.

“Said the woman whose future is a career in the movie industry”

“What’s with that? I wanna write, screenplayers don’t meet actors”

“Yes they do!”

“No they fuckin’ don’t!”

“They do at the Oscars”

“Well I can rest easy then, because I’ll never see an Oscar unless it’s in a picture, Meg”

“Anyway the scene of you hyperventilating in front of Matt Dillon was priceless”

“My god” Angie hides her face into her hands but not for long, because one hand soon dives back into the chips bowl.

“You blanched all of a sudden, I thought you were going to puke on him anytime soon”

“I was close. I get out of the bathroom and find Flamingo Kid just standing there, it’s not something you just see every day”

“Anyway you’ll get used to that, they’ll be around for the whole filming process”

“I hope it’s a short process”

“Hahaha didn’t you ask Cam if you could go and watch?”

“Watching as they’re filming is one thing, Henry Fonda’s granddaughter asking you for a Tampax is something totally different… I’d rather not deal with that”

“Come on, it only happened once, it’s not like they’ll always hang out at the Off Ramp”

“And what if they want to get into character more?”

“Alright your pathologic shyness explains why you’re here and not at the concert. But what about the rest?” I cut the long story short, always because I’m tired of Angie’s shit.

“The rest? What rest?”

“What’s that?” I point at the plate with sandwiches.

“My dinner!” she exclaims and promptly grabs it, as if she’d just remembered about it now.

“Did you come home late?”

“Not really”

“And why is your dinner made of two factory sandwiches and chips?”

“I didn’t feel like preparing anything” she shrugs and turns on the tv as if nothing happened.

“Right, I knew something was wrong, are you feeling ok?” I put my hand on her forehead and she pushes it away laughing.

“Meg, you have to erase this image of me from your mind once and for all, I’m not some kind of Martha Stewart” she shakes her head and starts unwrapping one of the sandwiches.

“You may not be Martha Stewart but… not feeling like making yourself a fucking sandwich,  deliberately ignoring water spots on the table and crumbles on the couch… that’s not you, so let’s cut the crap and just tell me: what’s your problem?”

“There’s no problem!”

“Come on, don’t waste my time. I have big news for you and at the same time I wanna go to sleep so bad, so just tell me, please”

“What news?” she’s about to bite on the sandwich but puts it back in the plate.

“You’ll know if you spill the beans”

“No, please, I wanna know now!”

“You first”

“No, you go first. If I go first we’ll end up talking about me the whole evening and when it’s your turn we’ll only get like five minutes left. This time let’s do it the other way round, you first, then me”

“So you admit you’ve got something to talk about… then!”

“Well… yeah” she confesses looking down at her plate.

“HA! I KNEW THAT!”

“But I’ll keep my mouth shut until you tell me about your fucking news”

“Oh no big deal, I’ve simply figured out what I want to do with my life”

“Wow… no big deal, huh?” she takes again the sandwich and finally bites it.

“Yeah, nothing really”

“Did you see Mike? Did you talk?” she turns to face me and crosses her legs on the couch.

“Mike? What’s that got to do with Mike?”

“Isn’t it about Mike?” I can sense a hint of disappointment in her voice. A horror fan turned into a love stories addict? Since when?

“No, at least, not as you think. It’s about him in the sense that I realized I have to let it go”

“Did you lose hope?” it looks like Angie hasn’t lost it, she looks like someone who’s about to pull out a banner from the couch pillows with CREADY FOR PRESIDENT written on it or something like that.

“I didn’t lose anything. I just understood that I can’t concentrate all my energies into being miserable because of men. Feelings and relationships are wonderful but my life can’t focus just on that” I explain as I take hold of the chips bowl.

“You never did that”

“Oh yes I did, I’ve been doing it lately. My main thoughts being: Matt, Mike, Matt-or-Mike, who wants me, who’s the highest bidder… I mean, I realized that at some point everything started to revolve around someone liking me or not, one of them, both, or someone new. I stopped focusing on the rest, on the stuff that really counts for me. How long is it since I last tested a new face mask on you?”

“My skin impurities are what counts the most for you?” she gives me a side look as she’s finished her first sandwich and cleans her mouth with a napkin.

“You know what I mean. I’ve been studying to become an esthetician and not just as a fall-back but because it’s one of my passions. Yet I stopped keeping up with the new stuff, I stopped committing myself and getting involved and I stopped trying to get any better. I even stopped drawing more or less. I used to draw every single day and not because I wanted to become an artist but because I just couldn’t help it”

“You are an artist, Meg”

“But I set my art and my interests aside and focused on frivolous stuff”

“Being with somebody is not frivolous” Angie unwraps the second sandwich and bites it right away.

“Of course not! But chasing someone who doesn’t want you is. Putting pride aside is one thing, questioning yourself repeatedly and throwing your dignity out of the window is another thing”

“That’s true” she swallows the first bit with a sip of water and emphasize her words with some kind of toast gesture.

“Like it’s frivolous to try to be liked by everyone and find a man, any man. I don’t want a random guy, and most of all I don’t want to be a random girl for anyone”

“What do you mean?”

“In Portland I saw two girls flashing Mike and some of his stupid friends”

“Oh well, that doesn’t mean anything, it’s not like Mi-”

“I know, I know. It’s not that I’m jealous or shit like that. I mean, maybe a little, but that’s not the point. In that moment I got mad but then that scene really made me think. I was just standing there, thinking about how silly Mike was for dumping me and then content himself with chicks like those two, girls that have nothing to offer but their body and their being available. And from there I started thinking and ended up wondering: what about me then? What do I have to offer? What did I give to him? And I realized that the answer was a big nothing”

“What do you mean? Are you trying to say you’re empty? You know you’re not”

“Yeah, I know! I’m not but that’s what I’ve been giving to Mike, especially lately, and to Matt too as little as we had together. Do you know how it all started between Mike and I?”

“Stone hooked him up with you” Angie finishes her sandwich and keeps the plate with wrapping plastic and the used napkin on her lap.

“Yeah, also. He used to come to the diner and I used to go to watch him practice and play at parties, he used to make me mix tapes and I used to give him a drawing I had made on a napkin every day”

“I’m this far from glycemic peak, I warn you” she jokes showing a tiny measure with her fingers.

“When we started dating we used to share everything, we exchanged books, records, I used to tell him about me, my past, what I expected and hoped for my future… And he did the same. But lately, even when things were kinda ok and there were no fights or contrasts between us, there wasn’t actually nothing anymore. Only tension, side remarks, jokes, our well played roles, and sex”

“That’s still al lot…” she mumbles tossing the plate on the small table and this makes me suspicious.  I make a mental note to investigate further later.

“I quit taking care of myself, cultivating me”

“So the big news are you’re gonna finally start taking care of yourself again?”

“Yes. That one. And that I’ll become a tattoo artist”

“Huh?”

As I eat some more chips with Angie, I tell her how I came to this conclusion. Maya, a regular customer at the salon, and also my favorite one, has long since got rid of her abusive, manipulative and violent ex boyfriend, who hurt both her body and her soul. She vented out with me like many women do, as they often mistake the hairdresser’s chair for a therapist’s couch, and it’s not necessarily a bad thing. Between waxes and treatments she showed me the long scar, the last one, that asshole left her as a gift on her belly before ending up in prison right for stabbing her just outside her parents house, since she was hiding there to escape from him. Now Maya wanted to cover that gash with a tattoo: she thought that getting rid of the physical marks that experience had left her would have helped her getting rid, with time, of the emotional scars too. Since she knew I’m good at drawing, Maya asked me to sketch something for her tattoo. Her idea was simple: a bird flying away from an open cage, finally free.

“I felt the weight of responsibility on me and I started working on it immediately. And as I did I realized this sense of responsibility came, ok, surely from the sad story behind it, but also from the idea that something made by me, my creation, would have become part of someone’s looks, for ever. Do you know what I mean?”

“Art for eternity in a strictly human sense?”

“Yes. Also. I don’t know. But, more humbly, the idea that this person would carry around the product of my creativity. That someone else may see it, I don’t know, one day at the beach, and maybe ask her ‘Wow, where did you get that? It’s great, who did it?’ and she’d go ‘Meg McDonald’. Because in my little daydream the drawing is great. It must be at least amazing, it must be the best I can do. And if that’s not enough motivation…”

“Did you draw her tattoo in the end?”

“No. I mean, yeah, I did, but not as she wanted it. And this taught me another lesson about the creative process. I started with some sketches based on her idea but I was never satisfied, there was always something I wasn’t fully convinced about and it took me a while to understand what was out of place. When I figured it out, I talked to her about it and to a certain extent I involved her in the process”

“What was wrong with the bird escaping the cage?” she asks curious.

“The cage”

“What do you mean?”

“The metaphor is elementary, right? The cage is the criminal who tried to kill her, the bird is Maya. Why would she had that drawn on her and always bring it with her, on her skin, although it’s an open cage?”

“Right. The bird flies away and doesn’t look back, it leaves the cage behind”

“Exactly. I told her about it and the talk itself that we had was so… satisfying! She realized her initial idea was a representation of her difficulties in leaving such a violent past behind her and, as an absurd, in letting go of him; on the other hand, I’ve learned a lot about how to communicate an idea”

“What did you draw for her then?”

“I kept the freedom symbol of the bird and added another one, about life: the tree. I drew a tree with twisted trunk and branches that gradually dissolve into a bunch of birds flying away”

“Sounds great! Let me see it!”

“I don’t have it here, Maya has it. Actually her tattoo artist friend has it. He saw it and liked it a lot”

“See? It wasn’t awesome just in your daydream”

“In the end she told him who I am and this guy asked to meet me. I went to the tattoo parlour today”

“What? And why didn’t I know anything about it? Once you used to tell me things”

“My fault, I like talking about you too much” I pat her knee and she rolls her eyes.

“So? What did this guy say? Is he willing to teach you the sacred art of injecting ink under your skin?”

“No”

“What, no?”

“I mean, not yet. He said I have talent but I have to work on it. He thought this was an actual interview and was expecting me to show up with a portfolio or something. I just showed up with nothing. So he held a kind of special lesson for me about the tattoo world. He explained first what I have to do to make sure this is the right choice for me. Then, if the answer is positive, he told me what to do to try and get into that world”

“So don’t you wanna be an esthetician anymore?”

“Sure I want to! I wanna be both. Maybe. Haven’t tattoos got to do with feeling good with yourself, in your own skin? It’s self-expression but also decoration. It’s an aesthetic element that goes deeper”

“This means you’ll open the first beauty salon in America with a tattoo parlour attached?”

“You think you’re kidding me but that’s the idea, more or less. Don’t know if I’m the first though”

“And what do you have to do to get into the clan, according to tattoo guru?”

“Draw, draw as much as I can. Maybe take drawing classes too. Create a decent portfolio worth to look at and start going to different parlours, to apply for an apprenticeship, for free of course”

“Unpaid work? What a twist. That’s basically what you’re already doing at the beauty salon”

“Yep. But I thought about everything! In a couple of months I’ll be done with cosmetology school and I’ll get my degree. With that qualification I’ll be able to find a paid job in that branch and it will surely pay more than serving tables at Roxy’s. And at the same time, I could work for a tattoo artist, that’s if someone actually hires me, and learn as much as I can”

“Don’t you need some kind of licence?”

“Yeah but that comes later. Anyway before all this, there’s the research phase” I add grabbing the bag I threw on the floor beside the couch and dragging it towards me.

“What’s that? Do you go to the gym with Henry too? Or do you just take drugs?” she grins.

“No, I’ve just found a couple of things to get an introduction to the tattoo world” I explain as I pull out all the books I found at the library.

“A couple, huh?”

“It’s not just little drawings, you know. There’s history behind that, cultural and traditional motives. And then there are so many different styles. Oh I got a lot of stuff to study”

“Hehe I see” she remarks as the takes a volume from the pile and starts going through the pages.

“What do you think? I mean, do you think I’m crazy? Be honest…”

“Nuh, you’re not crazy. You’ve just stumbled across one thing, one idea that could eventually turn into a real, tangible project in our future. I can see you’re genuinely involved and interested. The worst thing that can happen is that at some point you may realize that’s not what you want to do. By then you’ll have at least learned something new anyway and fueled your artistic side”

“Thank you, it means a lot to me” and it’s not just something I say, Angie’s opinion weighs in this matter.

“Can I just make an observation?”

“Spit it out”

“You don’t have a single one” she goes on as she looks through other books.

“A single what?”

“Tattoo! You got none. A tattoo artist with no tattoos is a contradiction”

“Well because I never thought about it before. Now I will and I’ll come up with something meaningful for me too”

“By the way if you think I’ll volunteer for you in this too, forget it. You know I’m afraid of pain”

“You said that about waxing too”

“Haha yeah, that’s true! But waxing is not permanent, a tattoo is. And I can’t imagine anything representing me so much and being so… immutable. And that I feel like putting on my skin permanently”

“No big face of Eddie tattoed on your chest then?”

“Fuck you, Meg” Angie sulks and turns around looking away from me, focusing on the news on tv.

“Boobs make for cheekbones”

“Hahaha shut up!”

“Nipples for dimples”

“Will you stop??”

**

“Come on, I needed the joke as an introducion to the part where you do the talking” I collect all my books and the bag.

“Is it time already?”

“Yep” I leave to go to my bedroom to put all my stuff away.

“And how do you know that what I have to say is about Eddie?” she asks when I’m back into the living room.

“Woman’s intuition”

“It could be college stuff”

“You’ve got no exams in the near future. I mean, it’s almost Spring Break”

“What if I hate spring?”

“Haha sure”

“The sudden warmth, humidity”

“Yeah, of course. And pollen”

“Exactly! Pollen! Mosquitos!”

“Angie”

“Having to wear lighter clothes, you know I hate to uncover myself”

“ANGELINA PACIFICO??” I raise my voice and she jumps in her seat.

“Ok ok! It’s about Eddie…”

“What happened?”

“Nothing”

“Angie don’t make me want to yell at you”

“No, you don’t understand. That’s just the problem”

“No, actually, I don’t understand”

“The problem is that nothing has happened, between Eddie and I… yet” she admits nervously and what a better way to cut the tension than laughing at her face?

“HAHAHAHAHA god Angie, you’re so funny”

“It’s nice to know that I can always count on you in difficult times” she gets up with a huff, takes the plate, tears the bowl off my hands and walks away to the kitchen.

“ANGIE, YOU’VE BEEN GOING OUT FOR LIKE ONE DAY, JESUS CHRIST” I shout from the couch

“FIFTEEN, COUNTING FROM WHEN WE KISSED” she replies yelling from the kitchen.

“I see you’ve been flirting for months and this whole story of the oblivious lovers was getting fuckin’ boring and all. But give that poor fucker some time!” I can’t resist and get up to go to the kitchen, where I find her focused on washing the dish under the tap.

“It’s not just that, Meg. I can feel something’s wrong” she explains, still leaning on the sink.

“You can feel it. What the fuck are you feeling? It took you a lifetime only to realize he liked you… actually I’m afraid you’re not fully convinced yet”

“Exactly”

“EXACTLY WHAT?? HOLY SHIT, ANGIE, GO FIND YOURSELF A DOCTOR”

“Meg”

“I thought an ex Psychology student who dropped out on second year would be enough for you but now I believe you need a certified professional, a good one”

“I’m not saying he doesn’t like me” she turns around placing her hands on the edge of the sink.

“THANK GOD, FOR FUCK’S SAKE”

“But maybe he doesn’t like me… to that point”

“I knew there would be a but. What do you mean?”

“He doesn’t like me enough”

“Enough”

“Enough for… wanting to do that… with me”

“Wait, let me know if I got it right…” I sit down because,  yeah, it’s better “You’re telling me you suspect that Eddie finds you beautiful enough to kiss you, cuddle with you, sleep with you, and so on… but not hot enough to fuck you?”

“Well… that’s a very simplistic way to express that but… yeah”

“Since when, Angie?”

“Uhm, I don’t know, I started thinking about it almost from the beginning because he… starts… things and he seems very… into it but then he doesn’t… finish… anything. At some point he just stops and that’s it. He’s just sending me mixed messages”

“No, I mean, since when do you smoke crack?”

“Hahaha please”

“Because there’s no other explanation to such bullshit. How can you ever come up with something like that? How can you think of that?”

“Well, it can be”

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, ANGIE?? That just doesn’t exist”

“Sure it exists. And it’s got a name too”

“Paranoia?”

“Martin”

“Martin?”

“Martin’s syndrome”

“Who the fuck is Martin?”

“My ex”

“Uh another one of your usual fucking syndromes, I see” I rub my hands on my face trying to stay sane. Angie’s shitty talks make me lose hundreds of brain cells each time.

“I told you about Martin, didn’t I?”

“The one you dated although you weren’t that much into him”

“No, it’s not that I wasn’t that much into him. I really didn’t like him. I mean, I liked him a lot as a person, he was funny, interesting, smart, sweet, caring but not clingy or naggy. I mean he was perfect, at least as for high school standards. But…”

“… but he was ugly as shit”

“He wasn’t ugly as shit! He was just a regular guy. I just wasn’t remotely attracted to him. But I dated him all the same because I liked the idea of having a boyfriend”

“Angie, listen to me: how fuckin’ old were you when you dated Martin?”

“Fifteen”

“Great. Now, how old is Eddie?”

“That has absolutely no-”

“Shut up and answer my question, how old is he?”

“How can I answer if I have to shut up?” her raised eyebrow gets me nervous.

“ANGIE, PLEASE, I DON’T WANNA CURSE, DON’T MAKE ME”

“Twenty-six! He’s twenty-six years old, just calm down”

“Oh it was easy, wasn’t it! Anyway you got your answer”

“Obviously Eddie’s doesn’t act like a fifteen year-old”

“Yeah, obviously. Eddie’s a man and a man doesn’t date a woman he’s not attracted to only because he doesn’t want to be lonely or because he likes the idea of having a girlfriend”

“I’m not saying it’s just for that. Maybe he likes me, he’s happy and comfortable with me for a series of reasons that are still partially obscure to me. And maybe in his mind he goes like Ok, physically she’s not my ideal type but she’s a really great girl and I feel good when I’m with her, so why not give it a try? That is similar to what I thought about Martin. And I thought about how often you like someone so much that, although they’re not exactly good looking or anyway not your type at all, you end up seeing them beautiful because what’s inside is also showing outside. And I believed that’s what would have happened to me with Martin eventually. But I was never attracted to him. And I remember the bad feeling whenever we kissed or did something more… I couldn’t be intimate with him at first, I felt bad and dirty. I felt it was like selling myself for attention. And I did eventually because I could not… avoid it. And I felt like shit” Angie’s talked non stop and it looks like she’s out of breath now.

“Are you done with presenting your theory?”

“Well, yeah”

“Can I present mine now?”

“Sure, go on”

“Thank you. So, Meg’s theory: Eddie’s crushing on you so hard, he adores you”

“Haha a totally not extreme theory”

“Well, he’s simply crazy about you, so…”

“Don’t you think you’re exaggerating a little?”

“Angie, trust me, I’m not. Eddie basically thinks you two have been married for at least three months”

“Umph, ok, go on, I wanna see where this is going”

“This just in general. If we focus on looks only, he’s got it so bad and he’s so attracted to you that he’s probably aroused by the mere thought of seeing you”

“Yeeeeeeah sure!”

“Maybe he gets hard just by talking to you on the phone. And that would explain why he calls you up to three times a day just to hear you read the phone book or shit like that”

“Hahahahahaha”

“Anyway, my theory says that he surely can’t wait to crown your love dream with a nice fuck. But one thing stops him. Actually a bunch of things”

“And what is it?”

“Well, first of all, maybe the fact he’s not an animal? Not even Jerry fucked you after two weeks. And Jerry is a pig. Eddie is a sensitive guy, he’s waiting for you to be ready”

“But I am ready”

“I don’t think so. And that leads us to the second reason”

“That is?”

“YOUR FUCKING ISSUES, ANGIE!”

“He doesn’t know about my issues, I won’t discuss them with him”

“Angie, trust me, you don’t need to. One can see from miles that you’re insecure. And like this is not enough, you keep pestering him with this top secrecy bullshit. What will he think? What would you think if you were him?”

“That I’m ashamed and don’t trust him?” she ponders for a while before answering.

“Oh! See? If you think about it, you get it! And would you fuck someone who doesn’t trust you?”

“Well… no… I think”

“No, you wouldn’t. So show him you trust him and nature will take its course. Despite the third reason”

“And what’s reason number three?”

“Eddie’s slow. Like very slow. He’s slow like molasses. In January. It took him forever only to kiss you, how do you expect him to fuck you in two weeks? You must give him a little help”

“Me? What do you mean?”

“You gotta tell him”

“Tell him what?”

“Angie, are you stupid or you act like one? Tell him you wanna make love to him!”

“ARE YOU INSANE?”

“No, you’re not sane Angie. You claim you’re ready to have sex with him but you can’t talk to him about it?”

“I’m not good at talking about those things…”

“Facts more than words, huh?” I push her jokingly but she doesn’t look amused.

“I don’t have neither, Meg”

“Come on, Angie, seriously. You’re mature people, mature people dating, you talk about everything, you can talk about that too. And then, I repeat, Eddie is a sensitive guy, he will make things comfortable for you and understand you”

“Yeah but… what the hell do I tell him?”

“Ok, listen, it’s easy. You tell him to come over, I don’t know, tomorrow night. I might conveniently disappear and crash at Grace’s or Mel’s place”

“That doesn’t work, this week we had a place to ourselves for three nights in a row and nothing happened”

“Will you let me speak? So, you will invite him here for a chill night together. Then you’ll throw yourself in the shower and use that coconut scrub lotion I gave you at Christmas. Then you’ll dress up, I mean wear something nice and possibly very revealing. But not too much. We don’t wanna scare him. Of course I’ll take care of that”

“Lucky me!” she complains and I stand up from the chair, grab her from he arm and take her back into the living room.

“You’ll make a mix tape with music that’s suited to the circumstances, you’ll prepare candles, wine, some aphrodisiac appetizers” I add pointing at the stereo, the table and other different points in the room.

“Is this the plot of a porn movie?”

“When he shows up, you’ll welcome him with a glass of wine, you’ll kiss him, you’ll tell him you couldn’t wait for him to arrive because you have something extremely important to tell him.” I squeeze Angie in a bear hug and then push her until she gets to the armrest of the couch, where she falls backwards with her legs up in the air “You’ll have him sit down, you’ll put the wine on the table, you’ll take his hands and look into his eyes and you’ll tell him…” I reach for her when she’s sitting in a better position, I take a seat beside her, squeeze her hands and stare at her intently.

“And I’ll tell him…?”

“And you’ll tell him… Let’s talk about sex baby, let’s talk about you and me!” I start singing and Angie pushes my hands away.

“FUCK YOU, MEG”

“Let’s talk about all the good things and the bad things that may be” I go on as I clap to the rhythm and I tag along as she runs into her room.

“And I’m even listening to you!” she exclaims as she slams the door in my face.

“Come on, Angie, you just tell him!”

“I can’t!”

“Or you just let him know without saying it, drop hints”

“I’m even worse at that!”

“Listen, unless he’s dumb, he’ll get it with the wine and the music already” a long moment of silence follows, until Angie slightly opens the door.

“White or red?”

“Red, of course!”

****************************************************************************************************************************

“So? Overall rating of the date?” Grace asks all proud as soon as I park outside her condo.

The game started after our second date, when she took me to a cooking class, and at the end I gave her a C+ for the peculiar choice. Since then, she took it as a personal challenge.

“B but only because it didn’t rain. If it did, that’d have been an A for sure”

“Hahaha I can imagine! And of course this was like the only night of the year it didn’t rain in Seattle… How lucky. Did you have fun then?”

“I did! And I’m happy I contributed to someone’s copulation.” when she told me she wanted to take me for a ride up north on Lake Washington and to wear comfortable clothes, I figured it’d be some night trekking and make out session with a nice view on the lake. Instead I found myself in the middle of a group of crazy people who gave me a bucket and a yellow reflective vest so I could patrol the road waiting for frogs, toads and lizards in heat “Those poor little creatures wake up from hibernation and have only one thing in their mind”

“Nature says thank you”

“And I thank you. It’s actually impossible for me to get bored when I’m with you, you know?”

“Hehehe I’m taking it very seriously”

“I noticed that.” playing chess with strangers at Westlake Park, taking a boat ride along the Puget Sound, the evening at the arcade, the matinée play of Rent at the theater on 5th Avenue… no, I’ve never had this kind of dates “But you don’t need to. I mean, you don’t have to pick up weird stuff for our dates. I wouldn’t get bored with you even if we spent the whole time driving in a car with no destination in particular”

“Owww, so romantic… You’re only saying this because you’re afraid of what I can come up with next, right?” she bats her eyelashes dreamily, then gives me a side look.

“I’m scared, yeah”

“Hahaha you suck, Stone!” she chuckles as she opens the car door and I get out of my car too.

“I’ll walk you”

“So careful too”

“Well I spent the evening helping toads cross the road, I can as well help you” I take her hand and I’m about to go for the crosswalk but she doesn’t move, she just stands there pouting. And I laugh my ass off.

“Ha ha. What if it’s me helping you?” she squeezes my hand and trots in front of me pulling me along up to the traffic lights.

“Don’t count on that!” I stay calm and don’t react but as soon as the green lights come out I start running and drag her with me.

“Stone? Stone! Stop, you’ll make me fall!”

“Hehe what’s wrong? Are your heels too high?” I joke as I point at her black rubber flat boots. Nice boots though.

“There are holes in the street… and I hate running. And actually I’m tired as fuck” and I could appreciate them more when I saw her at dinner without her coat. They looked good with her over the knee socks and knit dress.

“Yeah yeah, they’re just excuses. No point trying, I won’t carry you in the palm of my hand like with frogs, come on, just walk” I push her playfully as she walks up the stairs.

“Also because there’s no way in hell you could do it” she retorts as she opens the door and tries to shut it at my face.

“Are you sure?” I remark as I push from the outside.

“Haha I’m literally keeping the door closed with two fingers, Stone” she chuckles from the other side.

“Ok, I’m no muscleman and you’re not a sprinter. No Olympic games for us next year”

“Well, we could start training for the ones in 1996, what do you think? We can get ahead” I stop pushing and she lets me enter the lobby, taking me back by the hand.

“You’re a genius”

“Stone?”

“Mm?”

“We got to our floor”

“Uh. Ok.”

The doors close while I keep Grace pinned against the elevator’s mirror with a kiss. She presses the button and the doors open again.

“Stone?” I clasp her hands, lock my fingers with hers and pull them up against the mirror, holding them up on both sides of our heads.

The elevator shuts down again. And starts moving. We manage to get a composure before it stops at the last floor, called by a couple of girls. I take Grace by her arm and get out, rushing towards the hallway.

“Stone, were are you going?” she asks puzzled.

“Ok, the coast is clear.” as soon as I can hear the elevator going down again, I turn around and lead Grace towards the stairs. And we walk down to the correct floor “What? Don’t look at me that way, couldn’t make you uncomfortable in front of your neighbours”

“Making me uncomfortable?”

“Umph don’t be so nit-picky!”

“Here we are” she smiles at her bag, since she’s stuck her head inside it, looking for her keys.

“Here we are” I shift from one foot to the other waiting for the major moment.

“And here are the keys!” she puts them in the lock and turns to speak to me “So… good night”

“It’s a little early for good night, it’s not even eleven yet”

“I’m exhausted, Stone” this is the basic excuse, the recurring excuse after each date.

“Well, you got a couch, right? We can flop down on it and just relax. And we can make tea, since it’s already springtime for frogs, but it’s still kind of cold actually”

“I don’t know, Stone. I’m not even feeling that good honestly, I think I had too many jalapeños at Laredo’s. I feel… full” on the basic excuse, she now implants the variable one. She tries to make it more convincing by holding one hand on her belly.

“And what’s better than some hot tea to adjust your stomach?”

“I also think I must have pulled a muscle or something as I bent down to catch a salamander. Or maybe I’ve caught a chill…” she tries to stretch shifting her hand towards her back.

“You’re lucky, my hands are magical. I can give you a massage” I reply moving my fingers in front of her face.

“Hehe alright” she opens the door to her apartment and gestures for me to get in.

REALLY? I can’t believe it, I wasn’t expecting this!

“How does it feel?” I’m sitting behind her on the couch and massaging the lower part of her back.

“Mmm!” sounds satisfied.

“Better?”

“Yeah, much better. I just don’t know if I’ll ever be able to leave this couch”

“Don't” I shrug and keep up with my massage.

“I’m too full to function” she yawns and I think that, at worst, if she fell asleep in the next ten minutes, at least I’d have an excuse to stay and sleep here. And waking up we could maybe do something. I’m not in a hurry, I don’t wanna push. When it happens, it just happens. But if it happens now, all the better. We’re young, we’re cute and the season of love has started, even for toads.

“You’re lucky you have me” I kiss her neck right when the kettle starts whistling.

I go and make tea, then get back on the couch with the two cups. I’ve already drunk it all when Grace is still blowing on it.

“Is your tongue fire proof?” she asks and cocks her eyebrow.

“You should know this better than anyone else” I wink at her and she shakes her head.

“Subtle, Stone, very subtle” and she takes maybe the first sip.

“Some like it hot”

“Haha even subtler”

“Do you want me to massage your feet?” I try to pull one of her legs up on my lap but she almost chokes on her tea.

“NO!” she yells and stomps her foot down.

“Oh ok, sorry”

“No it’s just… well, I’m ticklish”

“I can be very delicate, you know?”

“But I’m extremely sensitive. And then I start kicking like a donkey, I’d rather not. I don’t wanna run the risk to slash your cute face with a roundhouse kick” she gently strokes my cheek and I reach for her hand and keep it there to enjoy it as long as possible.

“But the eventual spinning kick wouldn’t hit so hard without these sexy boots of yours”

“Hahaha ok, I said you can make fun of me, but do you have to take everything literally?”

“Strangely enough, I wasn’t making fun of you, for once! I really like them”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Actually women boots are a kind of fixation for me”

“Fixation?” she squints at me from behind her tea cup.

“I find them extremely erotic”

“Ok but these are fucking rubber rain boots, Stone. They’re not some Catwoman leather high heeled boots”

“I don’t care about models, I’m not your friend who works at the shoe shop” my remark doesn’t change her perplexed face.

“You don’t have a fetish, do you?” she questions before taking another long gulp of a most likely cold tea.

“Hahaha what? No! Am I a perv only because I’m attracted to beautiful girls wearing skirts and boots?” I get closer to her and playfully stick my fingers under the elastic band of her dark red socks.

“How many beautiful girls are you attracted to exactly?” she asks after she puts her empty cup down on the table in front of us.

“I see you’re not ticklish here”

“No. Not there” I kiss her and feel Grace slightly backing up before letting herself go and enjoy my touch, which moves up along her thigh.

Then she suddenly slips away and I found her standing in front of me beside the couch. I mentally prepare a bunch of convincing excuses to apologize for groping her. But before I can start rattling them off, Grace grabs the edges of the hem of her dress and pulls it up and over her head in three seconds straight, throwing it to some place in the room that I don’t care to detect. I just sit there looking at her in a dazed state for a while before opening my mouth.

“Of course you caught that chill, you’ve got nothing underneath”

Grace straddles me and puts her arms around my neck.

“Ok, I’ll make sure I put a camisole on once we’re done”

“Done with what?” I ask ecstatic.

“Try and guess”

**

“Big toes” I whisper while I’m lying on the carpet in the living room, staring at the lamp on the ceiling.

“What? What’s wrong with your toes?” Grace asks, as she’s lying beside me and throws her arm around my waist.

“They are the only body parts I can still move right now”

“Hahaha shut up”

“I’m afraid I have to ask you to host me for the night”

“Ok, you can stay” she stretches out and stands up from the floor.

“Thanks”

“But you’ll have to be able to move your arms at least, so you can drag yourself to the couch” she goes on as she leaves to go to the bathroom.

“I’ll try… wait… the couch??” I get up as fast as I can and look around searching for my briefs.

“Why? Do you prefer sleeping on the floor?” I hear her asking in the distance.

I finally find my underwear, I put them on and cautiously walk up to the bathroom door.

“No, I was considering a different solution, a more comfortable one. Like your bed”

“Forget it” she opens the door and comes out in her pyjamas, fluffy slippers and with her hair put up  with a pin.

“What’s happening? I can’t understand, do you want me to leave?” I’m actually surprised and I’m trying to understand if I did some shit without noticing.

“No! Sure you can stay, Stone” she wraps her arms around my neck and gives me a kiss that would make a toad squashed by a truck easily come back to life.

“Uh ok! I got worried for a second” you like to pull pranks, huh? I was almost buying it, that you wanted me to sleep on…

“Just not in my room” she gives me a tired smile and shuffles to her room.

What the fuck?

“And… and why?”

“You can’t sleep with me, Stone” she turns around and explains, as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

“I still don’t understand” I go stand in the way between her and her bedroom’s door.

“I have to get up early tomorrow and… I couldn’t sleep with you by my side”

“Grace, darling, I swear I’ll behave! I wouldn’t be able to do much even if I wanted to. Helping nature wore me down too, you know?” I flail my arms and try to explain that I’d be totally inoffensive and she laughs at me.

“It’s not for that. It’s just… oh shit, it’s kind of embarrassing”

“Look, I don’t give a fuck about your stuffed animals”

“Huh?”

“Don’t be ashamed, it’s not a problem for me. Ok, maybe I’ll be creeped out at the beginning… but I’ll get used to them!”

“Hahaha it’s not about the stuffed animals, trust me”

“What is it all about then?”

“I just can’t sleep… with other people… in my bed”

“Uh”

“I’m not… comfortable”

“Oh but I’m not the snuggle-up type, I’m the total opposite really. Kiss you good night and then turn away on my side” I’ve got nothing against cuddling up in bed actually but given the situation, I’ll better look for a middle-ground settlement.

“Sleeping in each other’s arms is not the problem, it’s just the presence of another person. I know it sounds horrible but, you know… I haven’t been in a long relationship for a while. And I got used to sleeping alone. And now, if someone’s there with me, I just can't” she suddenly finds her own fingertips and fingernail very interesting and doesn’t look at me as she speaks. And she looks so different from the vamp in panties and boots who turned me inside-out until a few minutes ago. And maybe that’s just why I adore her.

“Gracie, don’t worry.” I take her hands and lock them again behind my neck “No problem, baby. The couch will be perfect”

“Now you see what it means to date someone who’s not mentally stable” she yawns.

“For so little? No big deal” I shrug and kiss the tip of her nose.

“I wish it was just that…”

“Well, we’ve got time to take out the rest too, we don’t have to do it all now, do we?”

“Hehe, no, we don’t. Let’s sleep now”

“Alright. Good night, Gracie”

“Good night Stone” she takes my face into her hands and gives me one more kiss before disappearing into her room.

I walk back to the couch, resigned, and I’ve already spotted my shirt, when I hear her bedroom’s door open again.

“You changed yo-” I can’t finish the sentence and a pillow and a blanket fly directly on my face.

**

“Stone? Come on, wake up, it’s late” a sweet and warm voice wakes me up instead of my usual clock radio. I’m awake but I can’t open my eyes yet.

“Mmm” I grunt against the backrest of the couch.

“Stone, get up, I gotta go to work”

“Since when are you working on Saturday morning” I mumble as I turn around on my back.

I open my eyes and the first thing I see is again the ceiling lamp. The second one, when I look down towards my feet, is so scary that I fall off the couch.

“AAAAAAAH! WHAT THE… WHAT THE FUCK…!”

“Good morning to you too Stoney” Grace, dressed as a clown and wearing clown make up, greets me with a huge grin painted in red.

“You scared me to death!” I keep one hand on my heart as she laughs her ass off and ties the laces of her clown boots.

“I tried to call you before getting dressed but there was no way I could wake you up and get you off that couch. Now I know how to do it”

“A drastic technique” I pull myself up and sit back on the couch.

“But effective”

“Where the hell are you going dressed like that?” I refasten my loosened ponytail.

“I have a birthday party in…” she checks the clock on the wall “a little more than half an hour”

“Is it a costume party? What’s my costume?”

“Haha you’re so funny. It’s a children’s party, I go there to work”

“And do they pay you well?”

“They pay me enough. And surely it’s funnier than standing behind the counter of a mini market. Why? Are you interested in a career too?”

“No, thanks, I’d rather keep dealing with musicians. Or toads, at worst” I joke and she kisses me. Well, actually she tries to kiss me unsuccessfully at first, she manages to do it once she temporarily removes her big red clown nose that was in the way.

“Hehe I gotta go now but you just take you time. Just remember to put them in my mail box once you leave” Grace rattles her keys in front of my nose before standing up.

“Are you leaving already? But wait, where’s this party?”

“Oh a few blocks from here, like a twenty-minute walk. I’ll just take a stroll” she innocently answers and I’m almost rolling off the couch again.

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU’RE WALKING? DO YOU MEAN YOU’RE GOING OUT DRESSED LIKE THIS?”

“Well, yeah, why?”

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Not everybody is a wimp like you, Stoney”

“It’s not just that, it’s… no, you don’t have the nerve to go out like that, I don’t believe you”

“No?”

“I won’t believe it until I see it”

“Wanna bet?” she asks wiggling her painted eyebrows as she opens her apartment’s door.

“If you walk down the street dressed like that, you can choose the destination of all our future dates, forever”

“Have a nice day, Stone” she throws her keys at me and leaves, closing the door behind her back.

“NO WAY, YOU CAN'T” I dress up quickly and dash outside her apartment. Then I remember, I stop halfway through the corridor, go back, lock the door, and then run again to catch up with her. I rush down the stairs since she took the elevator first, and as I get to the lobby I see her going out nonchalantly with a smile on her face.

And I realize I love her. I love the fact she can be the toad saviour one minute, a femme fatale a few moments later, a shy insecure girl before going to bed and a clown the next morning, and still being herself, always. Because she is all those things, and much more.

“WAIT! I’LL GIVE YOU A RIDE”

“So? Did I win?” she turns around folding her arms and looking at me triumphantly.

“You won but stop!” I catch up with her finally and lead her to my car “Let me ask you: why have you put your make up and costume on already? You could have gone to the child’s house and do it there”

“I coudn’t, what if the kids saw me?”

“What do you mean?”

“If they saw me first without the costume and then with the costume, they’d understand I’m not a real clown” yeah, right, I should have thought about it.

“Anyway, I find them sexy too, just so you know” I add once we’re in my car, pointing at her clown boots.

“I’ll keep that in mind for the next occasion. Or for when I’ll need material to blackmail you” she replies and, before I could retort, she produces a clown trumpet out of nowhere and loudly blows it in my face.

I’m gonna marry this woman.

[robotnik-mun]

You know, around about September/Octoberish I had a weird dream about a Sonic Movie.

In said dream I was at the premier of an animated theatrical (in- theory) Sonic SatAm movie. I say in-theory because the film was referred to by people in the dream as a SatAm movie, but in practice it seemed more a mixture of Post-Reboot Archie Sonic (character designs), Pre-reboot Archie Sonic (several characters) and Sonic Boom (longer limb designs).

And once the film started a lot of the audience was pissed off for two different reasons:

* The Sonic fans were pissed off because the film had resorted to celebrity voice acting over casting actual professional voice actors (which you’d think the audience would have been aware of way before the movie started but okay…), with a lot of people weren’t happy with the actors picked for the roles. 

Of the 9 that I can remember were Andrew Garfield as Sonic the Hedgehog, Taylor Swift as Sally Acorn, Michael Cera as Antoine D'Coolette, Dakota Johnson as Bunnie Rabbot, Matt Berry as Locke, Jason Bateman as King Acorn (seemed to be Nigel Acorn in name and appearance, but acted like Max Acorn in personality), Jim Parsons as Snively, Liam Neeson as Naugus (I have no ideas whether he was Ixis or Walter) and Hugh Laurie as Uncle Chuck.

* The Moral Guardians were upset because the film (despite being a film) opened with a tv style opening theme set to cyberpunk visuals resembling the Batman Beyond opening, which they considered too dark and inappropriate for the film’s child audience.

The negative reception got so bad that a riot broke out, to the point where a frigging SWAT team with shields and giant Rob Liefeld guns had to be called to break up the fighting.

So does this sound like a better or worse movie/reception than the actual movie we’re supposed to be getting?

---

Wow. Your Sonic Movie dreams are a lot more cohesive than mine. The furthest mine ever got was of a scene where Sonic is darting about drawing fire from robots while Sally hooked up Nicole to a computer and then hacked it, causing a bunch of towers with satellite dishes to suddenly fire a bunch of blue beams towards the sky, creating a portal that Angel Island slowly lowered out of. All done to the Most Triumphant Part of Braveheart at that. 

Anyway, that DOES sound better, but in all frankness I don’t think that’s the movie the Sonic fandom at large would want. By deign of being animated and not co-starring a human it’d be like, a million miles ahead of what we already got, but its still pretty dependent on stuff that’s ultimately part of a niche rather than the greater whole that people are familiar with. To say nothing of the fact that in order for Locke to be used it would mean SEGA actually letting that jackass get what he wants, which would be another big strike against it. 

And then there’s that selection of actors to do the voices... Michael Cera as Antoine?? Liam Neeson as Naugus?? Hugh Laurie as Uncle Chuck??? That’s miscasting on such a massive level that even if people got past the premise, the actor selection would make it difficult to watch.

So yeah, your dream’s movie premise is better than what we are getting, but only by so much. As for the reception, well, frankly I doubt any Sonic anything, no matter how bad, would ever get THAT kind of reception, sooo yeah, your dream is way, way worse regarding how people would take it. 

[brendancorris]

Thundercats Roar thoughts...

So a friend of mine showed me this trailer a few weeks ago, and for a second I didn’t believe it was real. But, before I get further into my thoughts on this thing everybody else on the internet has already covered, let me go into my history with Thundercats.

Despite never drawing much fan art for the series, Thundercats is a property I love, and one of the biggest parts of my life in my earliest years. Born in ‘86 with three older siblings, I was just in time for the original Thundercats. My family already consisted of die-hard fans, so it was naturally one of the first franchises I got into. From the time I was born to when I was about 4, Masters of the Universe and Thundercats were what it was all about. It wasn’t until ‘89 that I got my first TMNT toy, and about a year later that was literally all I cared about. 

But before my TMNT obsession, there was Thundercats. While I do have many fond memories of watching the show, my most beloved memories of it are simply being a fan. Collecting the action figures, listening to my siblings talk about the show, and playing Thundercats. Not a video game, though. On nights when my Mom was out, my Dad would host He-Man or Thundercats games where he’d be either Skeletor or Mumm-ra, my oldest sister and brother would be She-Ra and He-Man or Lion O and Cheetarah (while my other sister would be... somebody) and I, being the baby, would always get stuck being Orko or Snarf. All us kids would wrestle our dad and beat up on him as he’d try to defeat us. Epic stuff. Some how the younger of my two sisters would usually end up horribly injured after each game, though...

Simply put, Thundercats was the real deal with my family when I was little. The action was great, the evil beasts were awesome, the toys were a blast, and Cheetarah, along with the He-Man girls, made me feel things my tiny self wasn’t yet ready to feel. 

It wasn’t until I was in high school that I revisited the show, and, honestly, I was surprised how much it held up. Especially considering in high school I was “too cool for everything” yet I still acknowledged its quality. Yes, it was corny in the way all old children's’ shows were at the time (I have nothing but love for that tone, but I can see how it would be hard to digest for later generations), but it still had great, smart, sophisticated writing for its time, amazing animation and artwork, good characters, and one of the most hype intros ever.

In 2011 a reboot was made. This reboot was far darker and more built on political commentary. It was an understandable progression. The fans had grown up, so the franchise did too. While I wasn’t a huge fan, I can respect the quality of the writing, art, and over all work that went into it. It was a sophisticated piece of art. I felt it went a bit too extreme with the tone it was pushing, and as a long time fan of the original, found lots of the changes and design choices hard to digest. But again, it was a good show, and I respect what it attempted to accomplish. 

However, the show was canceled before season 2 could air. This left a lot of fans mad, confused as to whether it was low ratings, low ratings as a result of its switched time slot that was far from ideal, or just a business decision to sacrifice a popular show just to make way for a potentially more popular future show. While I can understand the upset from fans 100%, I didn’t feel it as I wasn’t a regular viewer. 

So, fast-forward to earlier this month when my friend shows me this trailer. As I said, at first I thought it was a joke, like College Humor or something. Then when the realization sunk in that it was real, I hated it. But, quickly I told myself that I don’t know enough about it yet to fully judge. I haven’t seen an episode. Sure, it looks awful from what I’ve seen, and I can clearly see the “monkey see monkey do” going on here with the copying of other successful modern cartoons. But, again, I haven’t seen it. Before I get into my final thoughts thus far, I need to address the elephant in the room...

...the similarities everybody has seen in this and Teen Titans GO!

While I wasn’t a die hard or anything, I did watch the entire first two seasons of the original Cartoon Network Teen Titans series when it was new, and I did like it. I thought it was very well-written, well-acted, had great characters, great character development, great stories, and great action. The characters worked off of each other beautifully. However, I’d be lying if I didn’t admit I had some issues with it.

UNPOPULAR OPINIONS AHEAD - PREPARE TO HATE ME

Since its release I have always found the art style to look very under-developed and unappealing. It looked like an awkward imbalance of the (already bland in my mind) Justice League cartoon style and a newbie anime style. The best way I can describe it was it resembled the artwork of a junior-high kid who just started drawing anime. Also, I found a lot of the anime-inspired elements to feel forced. When characters would mutate into chibi disasters or tropes like sweat drops scrolling down their faces would happen, it was always a bit cringy and out of place. It felt like it was shoehorned in rather than rightfully fitting in.

But the most notable thing about the show was it was a pretty huge departure from the original DC comics. Gone was the realistic art style of the comics. Now the characters all had big, round heads, twig-like limbs, huge hands and feet, and big anime-eyes. Everything was very simplistic, sharp, and jagged. There was far more comedy, some great, and some that cringy chibi stuff I mentioned. The integration of anime tropes and far more kid humor was a huge departure from the comics. So, basically, despite being a good show, Teen Titans, the show, was a huge departure from its source material.

Then comes Teen Titans GO! and overnight it becomes one of the most hated (and most popular) cartoons of this age. I didn’t quite hate it, but wrote it off as crap without seeing it. It is a shame that the original show was canceled before it got to be finished, but putting fans’ anger towards that aside, the creation of TTG makes perfect sense. The characters proved extremely popular and marketable, largely because how comedic they could be when bouncing off each other (and the original show had been canceled. Continuing a canceled show years later is a difficult task, regrouping the team, dancing through the legal BS, and finding enough staff and people to fund it to be on board, as well as a network to accept it). More simplistic art styles were becoming more popular, and after the post-Adult Swim days, hyper, wacky, odd comedies have become the norm.

To be honest, any time I have seen Teen Titans GO!, which has only been about three episodes or so, I laughed. I don’t care what people say, the show is legitimately funny. Is it the greatest show ever? Not by a long shot. Is it better than the last TT show? Probably not. Is it a shame it exists while the original never finished? Kinda. But is it a bad show? Honestly, no. 

TTG knows exactly what it wants to be and delivers. It may not be the sequel show old fans wanted, but if you put aside the hatred, you’ll see it’s not only a funny cartoon bursting with energy and very well-defined and appealing character designs reminiscent of shows like Dexter’s Lab, but also a huge love letter to the Titans, the last show, and all things DC. It is clearly made by DC fans. I may be biased because I love Weird Al and The Golden Girls, but, man, this is funny right here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ICmOMLX3rQ

Admittedly, even the movie trailer looks funny, and I’ll likely see it, despite not really being a fan of the show. Just like the 2011 Thundercats, I see what the TTG team is intending to do, and I appreciate how well they do it, despite not being a regular supporter of it.

And, well, that brings us back to ‘Roar’. Will I like it? Based on what I’ve seen so far, likely not, but who knows. It could end up being the next Sonic Boom. I do strongly dislike the art direction for Thundercats Roar, and the footage shown thus far did not make me laugh (except Mumm-ra learning about the cats being on Third Earth by reading it in the newspaper. That actually got a chuckle from me). But, as much as my gut is telling me to hate this show, I won’t pass judgment until I’ve at least seen a couple episodes. It’s definitely not the Thundercats I love, but to be honest, I didn’t want a TC reboot. I was fine with it just being as it is. So if somebody’s going to reboot it for a new generation, I’ll be glad to see my favorite franchises get passed down, so long as it is done lovingly. If the show truly is a love letter to the history of the franchise as it claims to be, and if it’s a decently quality product that obvious care went into, I’ll be fine with it.

It would be so easy to tear it apart and hate it, but as I get older I find myself growing more accepting of such change. I’m not EXPECTING to like it, but who knows, I also wasn’t expecting to like Sonic Boom. Basically, so far I’m not digging what I’ve seen, but I’ll keep an open mind and stay hopeful. Here’s hoping they can change my mind with the final product.

The End

[postedbygaslight]

You’ll Be the One to Turn - Part 20: The Tinkerer

I swear, all of this is for a reason.

As a quick refresher, you might want to go back to Chapter 10, because this chapter finishes the conversation General Hux had with the bounty hunter, Vyada Nil. You might also want to reread Chapter 13, where Kylo and Hux had a particularly tense encounter.

“Name your price.”

“The pretender’s lightsaber.”

Hux’s lips drew into a tight, thin smile.

“Done.”

“You’re awfully confident,” Nil said with an air of disinterest. “How do you intend to deliver?”

“Ren is a madman,” Hux said, lowering his voice even though, since he’d ordered Peavey and the troops into the transport, he and the hunter were the only people in the entire hangar. “Raging at shadows. Secluded. He rarely leaves his chambers.”

“But you need methods to neutralize his abilities.”

Hux grit his teeth and clicked his tongue.

“Sorcery and mummer’s slight,” he seethed. “But it’s damned effective, I’ll give him that.”

“Point a hundred blasters at him. He can’t block them all.”

“Very funny. Ren may be mad, but he’s not a fool. He won’t walk into an ambush unless he’s blinded by another concern.”

“The girl,” Nil asserted without hesitation.

“Yes. The girl.”

“Who is she to him?”

“She’s a nobody. A skittering sand rat Ren took a liking to before she opened up his face. Now he’s obsessed with vengeance, and insists he’s honor bound to deal with her himself.”

Nil regarded him with what Hux initially took for amusement, but her tone when she spoke was hard and knife-edged.

“And who are you to deny him his prize?”

Hux’s response was immediate.

“An opportunist.”

The corner of Nil’s mouth twitched into a slight smirk.

“What do you need from me?”

“The Jedi girl. Arrange for her to crawl out from whatever warren she’s been hiding in, and I’ll make sure Ren is there to stake his claim.”

“Draw her in as bait, then kill them both, is that it?”

“Do you have a better idea?”

The hunter’s eyes narrowed a moment.

“No.”

“That’s— I’ll be honest, I wasn’t expecting that answer.”

“It is as I’ve said. You are a liar and a coward. And a thief. And so you must be cunning.”

“You walk a very narrow line, hunter.”

“And you haven’t said all, General.”

“No. I haven’t,” Hux said, his tone sharpening. Contracting the hunter was an awful risk, but one Hux was more than willing to accept provided certain assurances. “If I deliver Ren to you, and you fail, I need some measure of surety.”

Nil didn’t react with umbrage, as Hux expected. She instead adopted the same cool, disaffected posture as she had since she’d finished her demonstration.

“Do you expect me to fail?”

“I expect you to perform as you’ve advertised,” Hux answered, almost lashing back at the towering figure. “But I also know Ren to be a formidable man. If you fail, he will come for me. And I will not die roasted on the end of a plasma spit or on my knees gasping for breath because a bounty hunter with a lightsaber couldn’t deliver on her boasts.”

Nil didn’t react. She stared down at him with those black, depthless eyes, and for a few seconds, Hux began to feel a slow crawl of terror coil in his throat. He didn’t think the hunter would be so bold or suicidal to try anything, but, at the same time, there was something about this woman that unnerved him to his foundations. Maybe that’s why he was so sure she could succeed.

The hunter stepped in closer, and Hux flinched. Nil spoke in an insistent, knowing tone that communicated experience. She projected cold efficiency. Hux knew a killer when he saw one, and this one was clothed in all the trappings of death. And more than that, she was driven by some bristling urgency that Hux couldn’t fully comprehend.

“Shield your thoughts. Project strong emotions. Fear. Hate. Anger. He is wed to the darkness and will sense these first. It will conceal your intentions.”

Nil paused, and unclipped a silver disc with rounded edges from a hidden firing chamber in her arm guard. She handed it to Hux.

“This will deprive him of his senses. But only for a moment,” she continued, and then slid one of her long, gloved fingers behind her ear, producing a small bluish device that emitted a constant, barely perceptible hum. “Place this behind one of your ears before you activate it. The rest is your doing.”

Hux took the hunter’s tools and pocketed them.

“You can collect your payment from his corpse. After it’s done, vanish.”

“Then we have a contract.”

“So we do,” Hux said, stepping away from Nil. He watched her as she returned to her ship, still wary, and didn’t return to the transport until she and her vessel were safely out of sight.

***

The hours after Hux discovered Ren in his personal suite, hovering over his private terminal, had been among the most panicked and unsettled of his life. He’d stood in the middle of the room for long minutes following Ren’s departure, blood still slamming through his limbs and neck as his heart refused to calm. But once he’d escaped his own spellbound paralysis, he’d found that he could scarcely keep from moving.

It wasn’t difficult to follow the track Ren had cut through the terminal’s security. The extent to which the Supreme Leader had discovered plans Hux had counted on remaining unnoticed gave the general cause to fear Ren might return at any moment to retract his earlier mercy. So, Hux set himself to the task of destroying what could be destroyed, hiding what could be hidden, and sorting through what remained.

Ren’s intrusion had forced Hux to make decisions that should have been weeks in the offing. The emitter stations. The command centers. The hybrid beam arrays. The new stormtrooper protocols. At least Ren hadn’t discovered the dossiers Hux had collected in his search for a suitable hunter. And that was another thing. He had left himself dependent upon this hunter for his next move. Without the Jedi girl as bait, he knew he’d never be able to spur Ren to the kind of mistake he’d need for his opening. Unless—

He thumbed the disc in his pocket.

He could do it. Place the right soldiers in the corridor leading to Ren’s chambers. Contrive some reason to require an audience. Use the hunter’s sonic tool. And put an end to this ludicrous farce for good. Sitting at his terminal, Hux tugged idly at the slip cord in the sleeve of his jacket. Just one flick of the wrist, a moment’s courage, and the First Order would have a new destiny.

He remembered the hunter’s words. Shield your thoughts. Project strong emotions. It will conceal your intentions. Ren inspired enough fear and hatred in him that he wasn’t concerned about suffering a deficit of either. But his intentions were so tied to those emotions that he somehow knew, at a fundamental level, that the Supreme Leader would anticipate the attack. No. Hux knew he would have to exercise some patience.

Ren only had a partial understanding of what Hux had set in motion over the previous months. At most, Ren knew that Hux had been requisitioning large kyber crystals. He likely knew that a massive kyber heart had been located and was on board. It was possible that he’d seen the early proposals for new Starkiller Bases. But, what Hux was sure of was that Ren had not seen beyond those initial proposals.

Ren had been right that Hux had ambitions beyond a Star Destroyer fleet and a standing army. But he’d been wrong about the shape of those ambitions. Hux didn’t want a new Starkiller. He wanted something far more durable.

It had been the dream of the ancient Sith to construct and wield a spacefaring mobile command center equipped with a weapon capable of destroying a planet. That dream had been realized by Emperor Palpatine, and had twice been dashed by a combination of rebel bravery, acts of treason, and the Emperor’s own hubris. Supreme Leader Snoke had thought he’d solved Palpatine’s primary error by designing a weapon that was both substantially better fortified than a mere space station, and produced a beam of kyber plasma that created its own hyperspace channels as it traveled. A fearsome, impressive machine that had been developed at no small cost.

That Starkiller Base ever existed at all was all the evidence Hux needed that miracles could be realized through force of will alone. The planet that became Starkiller had been selected for its size and the presence of a powerful magnetic dynamo in its core. The core had been penetrated and fitted with a kyber array that made the Death Star’s reactor sequence look like a handheld blaster. That kyber array, augmented by the powerful magnetic field, had allowed the planet itself to enter hyperspace, and nothing had ever compared, he thought, to the sensation of standing on solid ground, watching as the sky lensed away into warps of starlight and void-black.

But for all of its technological prowess, the destruction of Starkiller had been ten minutes’ work: the product of the twin defects of design overreach and poor planning. When the planet had been destroyed, no one wept, for no one truly lived there. And the weapon itself required such a massive amount of power storage that any small interruption in the energy diffusion would prove fatal. And, of course, that’s just what happened.

Armitage Hux envisioned a galaxy ruled by the simple application of fear. Fear could be allayed by prediction. Fear could be assuaged by acceptance of the inevitable. But fear could not be overcome if the object of that fear could strike without warning. Now that such a weapon was within his grasp, Hux had no intention of stopping short.

Kylo Ren was a living anachronism, Hux thought, bitterly. An ascetic zealot willing to allow his conquest to wither in its nascency over a slight to his personal pride. A cruel child whose tantrums threatened the endeavor to which Hux had devoted his life. A man with no direction or conviction other than devotion to a religion whose adherents were all either dead or cloistered in madhouses. He had to die.

The hours passed in silence. The general moved the pieces on his chessboard. Hux traced the metal edge of the monomolecular dagger inside the lining of his sleeve. And he stared intently into the empty spaces of his quarters, transfixed by phantasms of empire.

***

Hux didn’t sleep that night. The morning cycle arrived to find him still at his terminal. At some point during the night, he’d unholstered his sidearm, and had it sitting on the desk in front of him. So, when the holo-projector began pinging its shrill alarm at him, he’d trained the weapon on it and almost fired.

He shook his head hard and put the gun back in its holster, clicking on the projector as he did.

“Good morning, General.”

“Captain, I’d appreciate it if you’d keep your communications brief.”

“Yes, of course, sir, but the Star Destroyer Volition has reported following up on the intelligence you forwarded.”

“What intelligence?”

“About the Resistance depot on Taris. Captain Eskat said you transmitted the data several hours ago.”

Hux grasped for a coherent thought. His brain was addled from paranoia and lack of sleep.

“From what channel?”

“I’m sorry, sir?”

“The transmission, you dolt. From what channel was I meant to have sent it?”

“I—“ Peavey called to a communications officer outside of the projection range. “Check that transmission source. Any moment now, sir.”

What was Ren’s game? Had he sent the transmission remotely using Hux’s terminal codes? Had he set it to automatically transmit, and it had just slipped Hux’s attention during the night? The general kept at it, considering every option, barely noticing that his hand, resting on the desk, shook with a violent tremor.

“Here we are, General,” Peavey said brightly. “Emergency channel 927. Classified protocol. Clearance code: Opportunity.”

Hux snapped up, and whipped around to face the projection.

“Set course to Taris. And ready the division.”

“Of course, sir. And the Volition?”

“Tell her to hold until we arrive. Inform Captain Eskat the Supreme Leader will want to handle this personally.”

“Yes, General. Shall I alert Supreme Leader Ren?”

“No,” Hux said, grinning wide, “I’ll handle this myself.”

[blueboxesandtrafficcones]

Brightly Burning Fire

Day 26 of 31 - We’re entering the home stretch people!  @doctorroseprompts

For @timepetalsprompts - every Doctor loving Rose.  (And probably others - it is waaaay past my bedtime).

10xRose, smut.  NSFW.  They get caught in a blizzard, and have to take shelter in an inn.  However will they pass the time?

Ficmas Masterlist 2017, Day 26

AO3

“Bloody hell it’s cold,” Rose murmured, teeth chattering as they stumbled into their hotel room.  They hadn’t been on the planet an hour, wandering through the local town when the blizzard roared in, almost instantly creating whiteout conditions.

She’d been in favor of trying for the TARDIS, but the Doctor had insisted they’d never survive and led her to the local inn.  Now, they were snowed inside for the foreseeable future.

“I know, love, why don’t you go take a warm shower while I get the fire going?” he suggested, already heading for the fireplace, sonic in hand.

“F-fine, just don’t burn the place down,” she warned, stripping out of her wet clothes as she headed for the bathroom.

“I won’t,” he called over the sounds of the sonic buzzing and the water starting.  “I hope,” he added quietly, carefully prodding at the firewood.

“Heard that,” she hollered back, making him smile.

By the time Rose came out of the shower in a dressing gown, the Doctor had had a tea set delivered and dragged the mattress and coverings off the bed and in front of the fireplace.

“Better?” he asked, frowning when she still shivered slightly.

“Yeah, getting there,” she reassured him, sinking down in front of the fire with a happy sigh.

He wrapped an afghan around her shoulders before handing her a cuppa, prepared just as she liked it.  “I’m sorry.  I never mean to put you in danger,” he said sadly, rubbing gently at her shoulders to stimulate circulation.

“S’all right, who doesn’t like getting caught in a snowstorm?”  Rose asked brightly.  “We’ve got somewhere warm and dry to be, and we’re stuck inside for ages.”

“Don’t remind me,” he scoffed, glaring out the window.  “I’d hate to die of boredom.”

“Oh, I don’t think that’ll happen,” she drawled, putting her now empty mug on the tray and leaning back. “I’m sure we’ll come up with something to do.”

“Like what?”  He asked, looking back to find her leaning on her elbows, ankles crossed as she watched him.

She shrugged innocently. “Play cards?”

He caught a whiff of pheromones that told him exactly what she had in mind, but he played along.  “Solitaire?”

“If you like,” a slow smirk spread across her face.  “I was thinking instead of a game for two.”

“Cribbage?”  He casually stretched out next to her, resting his head on one hand and laying the other low on her stomach over the robe.

“I had something a bit more fun in mind,” she told him, moving her leg so her foot lay flat; gravity caused her hem to slide down and gather at the tops of her thighs, only keeping her decent because of his viewpoint.

“Oh?”  He practically swallowed his tongue, gaze fixed on creamy thighs on display.  They’d only been, well, dancing for several weeks now, and he was still learning when he was and wasn’t allowed to want her.  (In the library watching telly?  Yes.  In Jackie’s sitting room with her mum in the kitchen?  No, he’d learned the hard way.)  Based on the way her hand was lightly trailing over her neck and décolletage, snowed in during a blizzard was a firm yes.

“Mmhmm,” she hummed, shifting slightly so her thighs inched apart, loving the rapt look on his face.

“Rose?”

“Yes?”

“Can I touch you?” he asked softly.  In response she took the hand resting on her stomach and guided it down between her thighs and under the dressing gown.  Her breathing hitched as those clever fingers skimmed over her bare skin.  “This okay?”

“Yeah,” she settled back, moving a pillow under her head.  “Do as you like.”

He glanced up at her, and when she nodded in encouragement he moved for a more comfortable angle for his wrist.  He took his time, fingertips barely gliding over her, occasionally dipping down to gather some moisture to rub all over her skin.

Folding her arms behind her head, Rose watched his face as he touched her.  For someone typically so closed, she could see every thought flickering by as he learned her.  His touch was little more than a pleasant tease, but he was slowly building a fire inside her to match the one roaring in the fireplace.

As he teased her his touch grew bolder, moving over and around her until the pads of two fingers were rubbing tight circles over her.  She began to moan, legs falling open to accommodate him as he moved in closer, stretching out on his stomach across the mattress as he carefully worked her up and over.

“Brilliant,” Rose panted, amazed at how well he knew her body already, could pleasure her so easily.

“Yeah,” he murmured, voice husky as he sat up on his heels, pausing his exploration to efficiently strip down to his pants.  “Take this off?” he requested, tugging lightly at the gown.

She didn’t move, only brought one hand down to ease down the zipper, letting it fall open to show nothing but her underneath.

“I love- this,” he fumbled, making Rose’s heart pound in a way that had nothing to do with her orgasm.

“This?”

“Seeing you like this, in naught but my ri- key.  The way you trust me to see you like this.  It’ll never get old,” he promised, stuttering again over his words.

Rose knew him well enough to know what he wanted to say, and sat up to distract him before he could go down the dark spiral thoughts of the future always took him on.

“It’s the same for me,” she promised, reaching out to trace him through his pants and drawing a ragged breath from him.  “Lie back.”

She got a thrill every time he did as she asked, especially in their bedroom.  That someone as old and powerful as him could trust her with his very essence meant the world to her, knowing how difficult it was for him to let anyone see him.

He settled on his back, hands behind his head as he waited for her to make her move.  She took a moment to look at him, memorizing how the firelight played across his deceptively lean frame.

“All right?”

“Just trying to decide how I want to play with you,” she teased, smirking when his pants twitched. “First, though, off with these I think. Turnabout’s fair play and all.”

She eased his pants down his hips, licking her lips when he sprung free tall and proud.  She carefully tossed the material away from the fire, straddling his thighs as she looked at him spread before her.

She smiled when he let out a little whine, hips thrusting slightly in the air.  She rested one hand beside his hip to prop her up as the other wrapped lightly around the base of him.  He relaxed as her fist closed around him, sending another spark through her.

Tightening her grip she began to stroke slowly, rubbing the head with her thumb on every pass.  The Doctor let out a deep sigh, his brow relaxing. She waited a minute after his eyes fluttered closed to lean down, letting the head slide through her lips as her hand continued stroking his shaft.

“Ah!” he cried sharply, eyes blinking open to watch as she worked him.  “Rose,” he panted, and she could see the pleasure in his eyes.  “Don’t have to.”

She popped off him for a moment.  “Want to.” She went back to sucking him, taking a little more this time.  He enjoyed it for several minutes before telling her, “Stop, please.”

She did instantly, sitting up with wide eyes.  “Something wrong?”

“No, that was brilliant,” he quickly reassured her, “but I’d rather make love to you?”

Rose stared at him for a long moment before a shy smile crossed her face.  “Okay.”

They quickly traded places, the Doctor stretching out on top of her.

For some reason the feel of him poking her thigh made her giggle, and he pulled back offended.  “What?”

“Nothing,” she reassured him, looping her arms around his neck to pull him back to her.  “Really.  I just can’t believe this is real sometimes.”

His expression softened, and he leaned down to kiss her softly.  “It’s very real.”

“Prove it,” she said, and he laughed at her mischievous expression.

“Fine, then.”  Together they lined him up, and Rose’s eyes rolled back as he slid inside.

“Yes,” she hissed, fingernails digging slightly into his back.

“Can I-” he started, and she used her legs to pull him deeper into her.  “I’ll take that for a yes?”  He chuckled, pulling most of the way out just to push back in.

“Doctor,” Rose sighed his name, hips slowly beginning to move against his.

Realizing they’d closed as some point she blinked her eyes open and gasped.  He was holding himself above her, steady even as he thrust inside her, and looking down at her with love in his eyes.  The way he was backlit by the fire only served to make her feel like the moment was straight out of a cheesy romance novel.

“Please,” she muttered, hands gliding over his back as he balanced on one hand, the other coming between them to help her along.

“That’s it, Rose, let go love,” he began to murmur, whispering encouragement as her sighs steadily increased, rhythm never faltering until she began to clench around him as she cried his name.

“Yeah,” the Doctor groaned, dropping down to rest on his elbow as his hand moved from between them to guide her thigh higher.  It was her turn to inspire him, little whispers that turned his easy glides to short, erratic thrusts as he chased his release.

When one hand came up to scratch through his hair he was done, letting go with a shout of her name and collapsing against her, boneless.

She giggled, arranging her limbs around him to hold him close.  “Good?”

“Oh yeah,” he wheezed. “You?”

“Mmhmm,” she hummed happily, pressing kisses to his jaw and cheek until he turned his head to meet her mouth.

As they eased each other down from their pleasure, the Doctor couldn’t help thinking how much she was like fire.  Bold and bright, bringing light and warmth but get too close and you’ll be burned.

He knew it was only a matter of time until he was overwhelmed by the flames, but there was no other way he’d rather go.

[bestsoftblog]

15 Best Compound Bow for Tall Guys Innovated for Ease of Use & Safety

Are you looking for the best compound bow for tall guys with utmost precision for every single shot that boasts of safety and ease of use?

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So if you are searching for the right compound bows, it is difficult to find the perfect bow that suits your height.

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1. Bear Archery Cruzer G2 Adult Compound Bow — Best Bow with Great Draw Length for Tall Guys

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Weights 3 lbs only

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Feud Bow

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6.4 lbs weight

16.125” axle to axle

150 lbs draw weight

103 ft lbs kinetic energy

Two 20 inch headhunter arrows

Rope cocking device

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Mossy Oak or Realtree Extra colors to choose from.

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Features

Draw weights: 50–60, 55–65, 60–70

FPS (ATA): 345

35 ¾” axle to axle

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7 ¾“ brace height

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4.7 lbs mass weight.

5. Trophy Ridge React One Pro 1 Pin Bow Sight

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12.5 oz

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Bright .019” fiber optics

Rheostat sight light for low light shooting

No-slop windage and elevation brackets.

6. Bowtech Reign 7

The Bowtech Reign 7 bow is a powerful quiet, smooth, balanced and shooter friendly that gives tall guys the ultimate accuracy and forgiveness.

It shoots at 340 feet per second velocity speed, providing a bow that tunes 100% to you.

It provides you with outstanding performances and the smooth feel you desire during hunting or target shooting practice.

7. SouthLand Archery SAS Sage Takedown Recurve Bow — Best Recurve Bow for Tall Person

If you are a great fan of recurve bow, then SouthLand Archery SAS Sage Takedown recurve bow is your best choice to competitive shooting.

You can be certain you won’t experience any string pinch with its adjustable weight and length during shooting or hunting games.

It is easy to assemble and maintain as an excellent recurve bow for women, beginner, youth, and adult that are starting out in archery sports.

The recurve bow is beautifully made.

This is one of the best lighter poundage recurve bows for target practice and powerful to take down deer during game hunting.

Features

Brace height 7 ¼ inch to 8 ¼ inch.

It’s upgradable and you can buy limbs separately to decrease or increase draw weight.

Limbs made of hard maple with black fiberglass.

Maximum draw length at 29”.

Single tapered knob and metal limb pocket design.

Pre-installed brass brushings for brass plunger, quiver, sight, and stabilizer.

The package contents contain 1 SAS sage bow and 1 bowstringer.

Arrow rest

Bow stringer

Paper target

Deluxe foam bow case

Leather finger tab

Leather Suede arm guard.

8. Mathews Z7 Bow — Best Mathew Bows for Tall Guys

The Mathews Z7 bow is a smoother drawing bow designed to deliver blazing IBO speeds and represent a blend of smoothness.

It’s stronger, lightweight and well balanced riser is engineered for delivering great performance.

The Mathews Z7 bow is equipped with durable and light SE4 composite limb system designed to reach past parallel angle at full draw.

Thus, this design ensures vibration, noise and shock are reduced.

This bow is a top performer and has a relatively smooth draw cycle and is very quiet.

The Mathews Z7 bow is harsher and smoother than Mathews Switchback and Mathews Reezen respectively.

The Z7 is very quiet and has minimal vibration and jump due to its outfitted efficient silencing pack.

With efficient single cam eccentrix system and a powerful forgiving brace height, Mathews Z7 bow remains a top performer in the archery world.

It has a relatively smooth draw cycle.

Features

80% let off

7” brace height

4.0lbs weight

ATA length: 30”

Shoots at 333 fps IBO speed

Draw length 24” — 30”

40 lbs — 70 lbs draw weight.

Pros

A comfortable improved grip

Great speed and good smoothness.

The bow is quiet with low vibration.

Lighter riser that is stronger with unique and fresh design.

Cons

The eccentric system is non-adjustable.

The riser design may not be appealing to some shooters.

9. Martin 44-XRG Ultra Sonic Maxed Out — Best Long Draw Compound Bows for Tall Guys

The Martin 44-XRG Ultra Sonic Maxed Out is an impressive compound bow designed using the cutting-edge state of the art technology.

This bow is accurate, robust and affordable for anyone or skill level in the archery industry.

Who has the longest draw length?

The longest draw length bow is a Martin 44-XRG Ultra Sonic Waxed out with a mass weight of 80 lbs.

Tall guys can pull it back easily like it’s a kid’s bow.

10. D&Q Archery 56” Takedown Recurve Bow and Arrow Set Right Hand Longbows Kit 30–50 lb Draw weight for Adult Hunting Shooting Practice Competition

The D&Q Archery 56” Takedown Recurve Bow is durable and sturdy bow made of aluminum alloy riser and hard maple limb with each joint fixed with screws.

The smooth edge is specially designed for beginners and advanced hunters to protect you from getting hunt.

This recurve bow is comfortable to handle because its weight is not heavy hold holding.

With the curvature of the handle makes it more conducive to the control of the bow.

Features

Draw weights: 30lbs, 35lbs, 40lbs, 45lbs, 50lbs.

30 inches draw length

Bow length: 56 inches

Limbs material: maple wood

Camouflage and black colors available.

Riser material: Aluminum alloy

Complete bow and arrow set and hunting bow kit

Package comes included with

– 1 Take down recurve bow

– 6 Fiberglass arrows

– 1 5 Pin bow sight

– 6 Aluminum arrows

– 1 Arrow rest

– 6 Broad heads

– 1 Bow stringer

– 1 Arrow quiver

– 1 Finger guard

– 1 Arm guard.

Best Recurve Bow for Tall Shooter (Shooters)

With its draw weight options from 35lbs — 50 lbs, the D & Q Archery 56” takedown recurve bow is the best bow and arrow set and hunting bow kit.

11. Diamond Archery Infinite Edge Pro Bow Package — Best Left Handed Compound Bow for Tall Guys

The Diamond Archery Infinite Edge Pro Bow is a high quality, feature packed and versatile bow designed for tall guys as a perfect fit.

This bow comes off with an extended draw length of 31” allowing tall guys or shooters with longer draws.

It has completely redesigned cam system that creates a flawlessly smooth draw cycle.

The Diamond Archery Infinite Edge Pro Bow also has an excellent solid ball wall and a stabilizer for perfect balance for a steadier shot.

Features

74.7 ft-lbs kinetic energy

80% effective let off.

Hunting, Recreation bow type.

13–31” draw length

310 fps IBO Speed

3.2 lbs mass weight

5–70 lbs draw weight

7” brace height

31” axle to axle

12. Diamond Archery Edge SB-1 70lb Force Bow, Right Hand, Break-Up Country

The Diamond Archery Edge SB-1 70lb Force bow comes with rotating modules so that you do need replacement Cams or modules for your shooting practice or hunting.

You can adjust from maximum to minimum poundage, or in between with a turn of the limb bolt.

It has the most accurate Cam system and boost of a draw length 15–30 inches, mass weight at 3.6 lbs and Axle to axle 31”.

The Diamond Archery Edge SB-1 70lb Force bow is an all in one package for young archery enthusiast at an advanced level or beginner’s archers.

The bow package comes with a wrist sling for stability to prevents it from falling down during shooting.

This bow is easy to use and maintain and can last longer than any other bows at its price point.

As a lightweight compound bow at 5 lbs, with a let off of 80%, it makes for smoother draw and release.

13. Bear Archery Cruzer G2 Compound Bow with RealTree Edge Finish

The Bear Archery Cruzer G2 Compound Bow is a maximum-versatility bow designed for all ages and skill levels.

As a ready to hunt bow, it comes equipped with six Trophy Ridge accessories.

This bow is adjustable from 12 to 30 draw length range and from 5 to 70 lbs. peak draw weight and with Axle-To-Axle at 30 inch.

You can perform all adjustments using an Allen wrench without a bow press.

It weighs only 3 lbs. and fires arrows at 315 feet per second with brace height at 6 1/2 inch.

The powerful limbs provide rigidity and unmatched flexibility which allow for maximum weight adjustability for a customized fit for any archer or shooter

With a draw length from 12” to 30” makes it a perfect choice for kids’ archers, children, and youth, adults as well as women archers.

Its variable draw weight of 5 to 70 pounds makes it easy to adjust as per your need.

The arrow can reach up to an excellent speed of 315 FPS.

This compound bow comes with a handgrip to help beginners or expert archers get accurate aims on target shooting.

14. RAPTOR Compound Hunting Bow Kit

The Raptor compound bow kit is a versatile bow that comes with draw length adjustable 24.5–31 and draw weight 30–70 lbs without needing a bow press.

It has excellent CAMS systems that are fully machined aluminum with ZERO plastic.

The bow is lightweight and weighs 3.6 lbs.

It has an axle to axle length of 30. It also shoots at 315 feet per second when set at max with a 350 grain arrow.

This kit package includes 4 arrow quiver, 5 pin sight with light and level, stabilizer, biscuit style rest, and string stop.

Peep sight and d-loop are pre-installed. The bow also includes an allen wrench set and 2 paper target with 10 point scoring

The design of this compound allows any starter or beginner or expert archers up to 75% let off of the weight, when pull 70 lbs and a hold 17.5 lbs!

The Raptor boast of a split yoke tuning system that allows precise adjustments and proper arrow flight.

This bow is a perfect choice for anyone to get to the next level in archery industry or moving to an advanced level in archery.

With its strong build you can use this compound bow for target shooting practice or hunting without much stress.

It starts at a draw weight of 30 lbs to 70 lbs and gives a scorching speed of 315 FPS.

This one is a good choice for hunters who are looking forward to upgrading their weapon for taking down their prized targets.

Features

Up to 315 FPS

Biscuit Rest

Draw 30–70LB pull

Camo 2 RH

Fully adjustable 24.5” — 31”

5 Pin Lighted Sight

15. Southland Archery Supply SAS Feud 70 Lbs Compound Bow Target Field (Camo with Pro Package) (Black with Pro Package)

Draw Length:19–31

Draw Weight: 25–70 lbs.

Max Speed: 300+ FPS

Net Weight: 4.1 lbs

Pro Package Includes:

5-pin Tool-less Micro Adjustable Bow Sight

Trophy Ridge Quick Shot M Arrow Rest

Quick Detach Quiver

Tube Peep Sight

D-loop

Premium Neoprene Sling

8 Aluminum Stabilizer

Lube Wax

Release Aid

Set of Limb Dampener

This compound bow is designed for tall archers and shooters who want to improve their skills in archery.

At 270 feet per second, the arrow speed is suitable for beginners and boasts of excellent durability.

The bow features a draw weight of 70lbs and 30” draw length that you can adjust by loosening a bolt by 5lbs.

It has adjustable draw weight from 55 to 70lbs and its draw length is from 26” to 30”.

Types of Bows

Here are the few types of bows:

Compound bow

Traditional Bow (or Simple bow)

Reflex bows

Yumi Bow or Japanese Bow

Takedown Bows

Crossbow

Recurve Bows

Let me briefly talk about the compound bows.

The compound bow was invented by Holles Wilbur Allen of Missouri in 1966.

They are easy to carry and lightweight.

It provides high velocity, excellent accuracy, and shoots at a long distance when compared to other types of bows.

Compound bows come with quality risers, high-quality strings, and multiple cables.

The compound bows use cams (or pulleys) and cables to provide a lever system when the bow is drawn to the fullest.

It helps you to conserve your effort and aim your target during shooting with high accuracy.

Types of Compound Bow for Tall Guys

Single Cam — A single cam is quite and easy to use but harder to tune than other designs.

Hybrid Cams — Easy to tune and requires less maintenance.

Twin Cams — The twin cams require regular maintenance and tuning. Boast of high accuracy and velocity. But its design is highly complex.

Binary Cams — Very high velocity but highly complex design requiring constant maintenance and tuning.

Conclusion

When it comes to selecting the Best Compound Bow for Tall Guys you need to consider several options such as high speed, lightweight, and how easy to handle the bow.

Draw length and draw weight are two important considerations to help you choose the best compound bows that fit your style, skill levels and of course height.

I’ve selected the best and enlisted below for your easy reference.

Culled from Bestsoft Nigeria: https://www.bestsoftnigeria.biz/blog/best-compound-bow-tall-guys/#ixzz6YsKx7Ndn

[zemissinglinkus]

Price of Betrayal

Summary: Crisis of Umbara from Lana's point of view. Theron's betrayal would have stung a lot more than what was shown in the flashpoint. This is my take on it. Bonus: Lana and the Commander are married. Deviates slightly from canon to correct Bioware's grievous errors, but most of it is the same.

Click here for notes about the canon deviations.

[AO3]

A/N: I promised tears and pain. And I’ve finally delivered. Enjoy :D

“If you topple the Alliance, millions will die!”

“If that’s the cost of peace, so be it!”

There were explosions in her ears. Lana could barely move. Her limbs felt like they’d lost circulation, but there wasn’t an agonizing pain in her abdomen. She was having trouble thinking, let alone breathing. As if she’d been shocked by another Sith, or...

Had Theron’s gun been set to stun?

“Lan-na!” Zakash’s voice rang in her ears, echoing in vibrations. She could feel her wife’s panic. The train was going to crash. They were going to die.

She couldn’t move. She couldn’t think. She couldn’t process what she needed to do at this very instant to save herself and that of her partner.

What is happening?

“Darlin-ng, hold on to m-me!” Lana felt Zakash turn her over and she caught glimpse of her wife. Zakash was terrified, and angry. Her eyes burned auburn when they usually glowed their Zabrak green. “We hav-ve to get out of here!”

Zakash picked Lana up and held her close to her chest. The best Lana could do was grip the cloth on Zakash’s shoulders where her cape started. She wasn’t quite sure what happened next. There was a sound of some glass shattering, then Lana suddenly felt weightless right before they slammed into the ground. Then a sonic boom and the horrendous noise of screeching metal overcame her senses. Cracks of electricity hung in hair when it all started to become quiet.

It became strikingly obvious just how much the sound of the impact had affected her in that moment. Lana’s eardrums were ringing and she realized she’d been shouting from the pain. Zakash’s body covered hers like a shield. The Zabraki woman was heavy, but she was breathing. That’s all that mattered right now.

“Lana…” Zakash’s concerned, breathless gasp caught her attention. “Lana, are you alright?”

“Yes,” Lana mumbled. Her ribcage was definitely bruised. Probably had a few fractured ribs at the very least. The obnoxious ringing in her ears finally stopped and Lana blinked, taking a moment to reconfigure her senses. Pain throbbed through their bond, but she didn’t feel any serious wounds on Zakash. It could wait.

“Good,” her wife grunted as she got up. Zakash extended her arm to Lana and helped her up. A quick glance was all Lana needed to understand the magnitude of what Theron had done. He’d sabotaged the grav-rings and the train had been almost completed destroyed. Boxes were scattered everywhere amongst dozens of dead Umbarans. There had to have been a hundred or more people on the train before collision.

Lana could feel herself trembling. She shook her head to clear her thoughts, then searched through the Force for her lightsabers. They had to be somewhere nearby in the wreckage.

“Theron’s on the other side of the ridge. I can feel the second shipment of crystals here,” Zakash spoke again. She sounded far more stable than Lana could bring herself to be. That stunner really scrambled her senses.

Lana narrowed her eyes as she continued to search. “He only took half... why would he do that?”

Why would Theron betray us?

She felt two sparks of familiarity in the Force and called out to her sabers, but only one came. Lana flinched and rushed towards the other within the wreckage nearby. “That bastard… he didn’t!”

“Careful, love!” Zakash called out, no doubt realizing Lana was swaying as she walked. It didn’t matter to Lana. She bent down near several boxes and shoved them away with the Force. Underneath lay her broken second saber. The hilt was shattered, though the ruby crystal was still intact.

Rage built within her. She’d built that saber when Zakash had gone missing— or rather because Zakash had gone missing. Lana had trained herself to adopt a much more aggressive melee style during her and Theron’s Zakuulan rebel days. She’d have to build another.

“How befitting,” she hissed. Memories began to surface as Lana took the crystal and tucked it into her pocket. Theron’s presence suddenly stood out in her mind like a beacon. She was ready to hunt.

“You can still use your other. Come on, we have to stop Theron,” Zakash urged, placing a hand on her shoulder for a moment. Lana looked at her wife, felt her urgency, and nodded.

They took off. Every swing of her saber, use of the Force, every step she took — it was all automated. They had to find Theron. This was all wrong.

They tore through the aggressive wild-life and several displaced Umbarans who began shooting on site. She couldn’t figure out how this came to be, how she didn’t see it coming. Her thoughts began distracting her until danger alerted her to a sniper about to take a shot. She immediately rolled to the side and Zakash’s rage sparked. The Commander lifted the guard two stories up in the air, then slammed him head-first into the rocks below.

“We have to survive long enough to make Theron pay!” she shouted over her shoulder.

But that was just it, wasn’t it? Lana didn’t think any of this was happening. None of this was real. Theron wasn’t a traitor — he wasn’t. He wouldn’t… Not after everything they’d been through. This wasn’t Theron.

This wasn’t the Theron that Lana had trusted her life with. This wasn’t the Theron who had put everything on the line with her so they could save the galaxy several times over, who’d helped build their Alliance, who’d held Lana in those dark hours when everything felt like it was falling apart.

This wasn’t… This could not be Theron.

They were homing in on Theron’s presence now. He was near the second shipment of crystals and probably getting them loaded on the ship that was on her sensors. The situation confused her more. Both shipments had been right next to each other. It wouldn’t have been difficult to load them both.

How did he get so sloppy?

Theron was many things, but sloppy was never one of them. He was calculated and precise, much like Lana was. It was why they’d worked so well together.

None of this made sense.

“Darling, we have to hurry!” Zakash shouted as they ran. Lana could feel her thoughts rummaging for another way up, then focusing on the cliffside. An image popped through their connection and Lana knew exactly what Zakash was thinking.

“Let’s do it!”

They rushed over, drawing on the force to enhance their stamina right before leaping to each dip in the cliff. As they scaled the side, Lana started wondering how they were going to break this to the Alliance. Theron Shan. Top advisor and co-leader to the Alliance turned rogue terrorist. There was no good way they could spin this. This was going to be catastrophic to morale.

“Worry about that later, Lana,” Zakash muttered as they neared the top. “We need to reach him first.”

Their boots landed only a second apart from each other, and right in front of them was Theron doing exactly what Lana suspected; hauling the large crate of Adegan crystals towards the ship. Lana started rushing towards him, but a barrage of bullets started firing from a turret on their left. Zakash’s deflected the onslaught while Lana jumped above her and nailed the turret with lightning.

Just as she landed, her wife’s voice boomed in her ears. “Theron Shan! Don’t you dare walk away from me!”

Theron whipped out his pistol while running away from the shipment, clearly intending to leave without it if it meant escaping from them.

“Theron, stop!” Lana yelled. “This isn’t over!”

But he didn’t stop. He kept running. His ship began to depart as he rushed inside, firing shots of blue at them.

Was he using stun blasts again?

“This is just beginning!” he shouted back, just as the ship’s door locked and began to take off.

“Stop the traitor!” That thought roared through Lana and Zakash’s bond like a raging inferno. They both had the same idea. If they couldn’t convince Theron to stop, they’d force him.

Stretching out, they channeled their emotions in tandem determination to bring that ship down. All her pent-up anger and pain surfaced within Lana as she focused on that one goal with Zakash. A lurching noise from the ship echoed in the air as it struggled. Heat started to blast from the engine as Theron tried fighting them.

A sonic shout rumbled through the air from Zakash. “You’re not getting away, Theron! Stop this! Stop this NOW!”

They nearly had him. Thirty meters. Twenty. Fifteen…

BOOM.

A white light hit them from behind. Lana’s ears began ringing again and Zakash suddenly crashed into her. Their focus on Theron’s ship broke off. The last noise she remembered hearing were the jets revving up again for takeoff.

“Lana? What the hell are you doing here?”

Despite the harshness in Theron’s voice, it was good to see him alive and well. She spared the pleasantries. They hadn’t the time.

“Zakash is alive.”

“What?” She felt a great deal of concern from Theron as his expressions shifted. Shock, pain, concern. “Lana,” Theron’s voice was quiet now, the way he talked about sensitive subjects, “Zakash died on the holo feed… you saw it. We all did.”

Frustrated grief and hopelessness crept in on Lana, but she wouldn’t let her fears control her. Too many people had told her this and dismissed her as nothing more than a woman grieving the loss of her fiancée. She was not about to let Theron be one of them.

“Will you stop talking and listen to me? Theron, you are the only one I can trust!” Lana grabbed his hand and looked him in the eyes. Her voice wavered on the verge of shouting. She hesitated one second, waiting for him to respond, but he didn’t. He looked at her with a stern, but an attentive face.

She knew that face. He’d listen.

“We saw what they wanted us to see — what Arcann wanted. They knew Zakash was too far away for anyone in Imperial or Republic Space to feel her die, but they didn’t count on her having forged a bond with someone. It doesn’t matter how far away one of us is, we can still feel each other.” Lana brought a hand up to her chest and clutched at the fabric beneath. “I feel her, Theron. Right now! She’s locked up in some kind of stasis. Her subconscious keeps calling out to me… She’s on Zakuul, I know it.”

He stayed quiet, staring at her. His thoughts were churning, but she couldn’t get a read. Lana tightened her grip. He couldn’t abandon her. Not like this. Not after all they’d been through. “Please, Theron, you have to believe me. I need your help. There’s no one left in this galaxy for me to ask. Zakash is the key to solving this! She’s the only one—”

“I know, Lana, and I believe you,” Theron interjected softly, “but if your fiancée is on Zakuul, we’re gonna need a lot of firepower and intel to break her out.”

“You’ll help then?”

Theron chuckled and rubbed his neck. “I kinda owe you for my screw up on Ziost, don’t I?”

The mere mention of Ziost was agonizing even a year after. She could still hear the screams, see citizens turning into ash, Zakash fighting the dozens of Jedi under Vitiate’s thrall… An overwhelming number of things had changed, and yet so little. Here they were again, the two of them; teaming up to save the galaxy.

“That’s… in the past now. I don’t want to—”

“Plus,” Theron interjected, his eyes staring at her with that spark of hope he always carried with him, “if it means finding that one person who can save this galaxy from the inferno it’s in right now, I’ll go to the ends of the galaxy to find her with you.”

Tears welled in Lana’s eyes as her heart swelled. “Then let’s stop this war, together.”

“Just like old times.”

Lana woke with a start. Immediately her senses informed her Zakash was alive and right beside her. Theron, however, was gone. There wasn’t even a slight trace of his presence on Umbara. He’d gotten away, and she’d been left without answers.

A soft crackle alerted Lana of the small fire behind them. She willed her body to turned around to survey the extent. It was only a small fire from a container nearby, but it wasn’t much of a threat. Theron must’ve detonated it.

Had he planned for that too?

Her eyes drifted towards the crate of crystals. They were still there, ready to be loaded. She turned her attention back towards her wife and sighed. They needed to get out of here and get these crystals secured for the Alliance… then begin damage control.

There was a sharp pain in her shoulder as Lana tried to crawl over to Zakash. She winced and made a sharp hissing sound through her teeth. That was probably dislocated.

She pushed past it and gripped Zakash’s shoulder with her good arm to turn her over with some help from the Force.

“Zakash!” Lana shook her wife, then laced her voice within their bond. “Zakash, wake up!”

Bright green eyes fluttered open this time.There was a spark of intense confusion that resonated from Zakash, though it lasted briefly. Then the anger began to rise, and with it, the green in her irises were replaced by orbs of sun.

“Karking son of a tuk’ata… what happened?”

“Theron detonated a concussive canister behind us. He must’ve anticipated us reaching him.”

Zakash groaned, running her hands down her facial mask and slowly sat up. Lana could feel pain throbbing from her partner’s head. The blast had been closer to her and was no doubt the cause of her massive headache.

“Hold still,” Lana muttered as she pried gently pried the mask off with the Force. She looked at the back of Zakash’s head and saw no sign of injury. “I think you’re fine. We probably should get checked for concussions later, though.”

Zakash grew silent as she got out her datapad. She pressed several buttons, activating an emergency beacon to headquarters. Lana then felt her wife staring at her. “Your shoulder feels dislocated.”

Lana blinked and realized Zakash could feel the throbbing. She wasn’t barely paying attention to it. “I’ll be fine.”

“You’ll drink this, then be fine.” Zakash floated a blue medical tube towards her good hand. Lana begrudgingly opened the cap with the Force and downed the substance. It sent a buzzing through her head. The pain would subside in a few minutes.

Zakash opened a comm channel with a contact, though all words spoken were drowned out as Lana’s mind went numb again. So much had happened. Here she was just sitting here on the Umbaran earth with a crate of crystals, Theron nowhere to be found, her secondary lightsaber broken, her several bruised ribs and a dislocated shoulder… all of this, it didn’t seem real.

Why is this happening?

“Vette’s on the way with Elara and Havoc Squad,” Zakash’s voice tuned in through their bond. “ETA thirty minutes.”

Lana could feel her wife gently probing. She knew what Zakash was going to ask next and her mental barriers began to form. Lana reflexively curled her legs towards her chest. She didn’t want to answer. She couldn’t answer.

Her arms lay in her lap, cradling her stomach. They had started to shake and Lana suddenly felt sick. Of all the people the traitor could have been, the last person she had wanted it to be was Theron.

So why didn’t I see the obvious?

Lana felt Zakash’s arm curl around her back. She leaned into Zakash, burying her face into the crook of her neck as thoughts kept intruding. She bit her lip until blood flowed into her mouth.

I didn’t want to. It’s as simple as that, isn’t it?

“Let it out.”

It was spoken in a whisper, but that’s all Zakash had to say. Suddenly all the confusion congesting Lana’s mind melted into a deep pool of rage, pain, and grief. It burned in her chest and seized at her throat with the ferocity of a hungry tuk’ata. She felt like she was drowning fifteen feet under water with no surface to swim to.

Zakash’s protective hold tightened. “Let it out, love. I’ve got you.”

Finally she found air, and with it, a choking sob finally escaped her lungs. It wracked her heart raw and stabbed at her stomach. Tears streamed down her face at a pace far beyond her control while a white-hot anger boiled to the surface at herself, this galaxy, and Theron Shan.

Nothing made sense.

Pouring her agony into form, Lana screamed with the full weight of her emotions. The ground shuddered beneath her and an alarm went off from some device, but that didn’t stop her. She let it out until her throat shuddered and she had to fight for air while sobbing.

She nearly lost Zakash again today. Her best friend had tried to kill them both — the only friend left in this galaxy that she truly felt she could be completely open to.

Had nothing been sacred between them? Had it all been just lies and games?

Questions ran through her head faster than she could keep up with them. She felt Zakash’s protective bubble around them collapse as her hand rubbed Lana’s back in one slow repeated motion. Lana noticed her breathing had slowed to steady sighs and hiccups from exhaustion. Her mind had numbed just enough for her to start processing the last two hours.

Why now? Of all times to get angry about the direction their Alliance was going, why take action against this now — when they’d come so far? What did he have to gain?

Theron preached of wanting peace on the train, yet they were not reflected in his actions today. He had caused the death of at least a hundred or more workers, not to mention those from Malcolm’s insurrection campaign with that data leak.

It was that kind of monstrous, genocidal thinking that united Theron and Lana together on Manaan and Rishi against Revan and his cult. It was what brought them together on Yavin IV and Ziost against Vitiate’s destruction. The exact same mentality was what brought them together again to stop Zakuul, rescue Zakash, and form this Alliance.

If this had somehow been all an elaborate rouse, Lana didn’t buy it. Something had to be wrong and Theron had been caught up in the middle of it all. Or…. or maybe Lana hadn’t known Theron as well as she thought for the past seven and a half years.

She had let her guard down, let him sneak his way into her heart where she took great pride in guarding against this sort of thing. Theron had done the same thing on Ziost, hadn’t he? He’d sent a spy to sneak into Imperial Intelligence and gain intel on her — and that’d cost the lives of hundreds more than was necessary.

Lana had let him into her life again even after that. She’d told herself it’d been all but fair after she’d thrown him to Revan. She had told herself to let it go for the good of the galaxy. They needed to work together again to save Zakash and stop Zakuul.

So once they achieved what they had intended to accomplish, Theron must have planned to leave like this. Out with a bang.

She had let this happen again.

How could I have been so blind?

“Don’t start. Don’t do this to yourself, love. This is not your fault.” Zakash’s husky voice carried through the room and caught her attention. Lana blinked for a second, then looked up at her wife. “The only person who let this happen was Theron. He could have talked to us. We’d done it hundreds of times repeatedly. Never once did he voice such violent opinions. He raised valid questions, but always we took his opinion to account and we formulated a solution that worked for all three of us as much as we could. This was our Alliance. It was never just you, me, or him. He knew that.”

Lana nodded slowly, her mind running over their countless discussions and arguments. Zakash was right… but maybe— No. Doubt was the name of the game now. Theron’s actions were all an effort to cause doubt amongst the Alliance and set the galaxy against them. If she gave into that, she’d be playing right into his trap.

“We need to get answers,” Zakash spoke again. “We need to find him and figure out what game he’s playing. I don’t buy his ‘peace at the cost of millions’ excuse. I want to know the real reason he’s betrayed us.”

“And why he decided to help me save you if his intentions were to kill you after…” Lana blinked a moment, then realized she’d said that aloud. But a look at Zakash’s tear-filled eyes told Lana she’d said exactly what they’d both been thinking.

They’d both let Theron get too close.

And this was their price to pay.

[babbushka]

Lobster

For the @huxlolidays prompt, “Did you put some sunscreen on?” For those who want to read it on ao3 you can right here!

As General of the First Order, and Co-Commander of the Finalizer, Hux had many perks. One of which was the notion that he could drop everything and go on holiday whenever he wanted. He never did this of course, as there were drills to oversee, reports to be checked, and a mile long list of tasks that needed completion, but still; it was nice to know he had the option. It was times like these that reminded Hux why he never took the offered vacation.

It had been a surprise to everyone when he held a meeting with his team to give them time to prepare for his absence exactly three cycles ago. Phasma had initiated the idea; Kylo had been sent off to some faraway planet for a mission and…well Hux wasn’t doing too well with him gone. He hadn’t been sleeping, hadn’t been eating, and overall was snappish and even more irritable than usual. She had suggested a short vacation of shore leave, just two cycles at the end of the week to hand all his stress over and just, how did she put it, lay the fuck out by the water.

The first day of his leave had been nerve-wrackingly difficult; he kept checking his comm for any news about Kylo’s return, the panic of what if he arrived just as I left, what if he’s sitting in the medbay waiting for me? making the gorgeous seaside views of this Imperial moon not nearly as comforting as Phasma had probably hoped for him.

The second day, however, had found Hux a little more relaxed. He was woken up early by the front desk to let him know it was time for his spa appointment, which Hux hadn’t known he even had. After an hour of massage, he felt infinitely better. He had made a mental note for Kylo to give him massages when they were both back on the ship.

From there, he had gone to spread a First Order regulation towel onto a vibrantly colored lounge chair, and began the process of lathering on the sunscreen. Hux was an intelligent man, and as such, worked it so that his career was mostly spent indoors. He certainly went outside from time to time – giving speeches, inspecting planets for the home of his super weapon, etc. – but that time was limited, mostly spent in tundra environments, and he was always fully clothed. He had packed multiple bottles of high sun protection factor lotion, knowing full well the consequences of hours without some sort of barrier on his skin.

Walking around with his arms, chest, and legs exposed had been a strange feeling at first, but he slowly relaxed, the sound of the gentle waves calming him.

Looking back, Hux decided that this was where it had all gone to shit.

He had let his guard down, and only reapplied the sunscreen three more times, when he really should have applied it four more times throughout the day. He had inspected the color of his skin, it was only a little pink, nothing too concerning, and had forgone the final reapplication. How foolish.

Hux didn’t realize how burnt he was until he stepped back onto the cool and refreshing floors of the Finalizer. It had been warm on the moon, and he thought that his body had acclimated, with skin that was warm to the touch. He didn’t think for one minute to inspect himself in the mirror before departure, too eager to get back home before his partner did.

No one mentioned how the skin on his nose was peeling, or the way the red smudges across his cheeks made him look perpetually flushed. Hux himself didn’t say anything about the way his shoulders itched against the rough material of his uniform shirt, or how the back of his thighs had stung when he peeled the fabric of his trousers away from them.

He left to find Phasma, when he caught sight of himself in the reflection of the Finalizer's polished walls. He was positively devastated at what he saw, he had never been sunburned like this before! The worst thing that had ever happened was his nose had gotten pink once when he was a cadet doing a survival drill in the forest; this was unimaginable. He could clearly see the outline of the sunglasses he had been wearing in the still pale skin around his eyes and bridge of his nose, even where the arms of the glasses rested against the side of his face. Beneath his collar he found bright and angry red skin, his shoulders being rubbed raw from his shirt.

And his freckles. Oh stars, his freckles. He had never particularly liked them before, but he had always gotten by with the knowledge that they were faint for the most part. Now they stood out like a sore thumb, dark spots across his face and arms. It was like they soaked up the sun itself, wanting to be seen.

“General! How was – ” Phasma greeted, immediately cutting herself off when she saw the state he was in. “Holy shit, Hux.” She sucked in a breath, cringing.

“Hello Captain. Despite my current condition, I must thank you for the spa treatment. I wouldn’t have thought to book an appointment, and it certainly helped.” He was in no mood to discuss his failure to protect his own skin, not right that moment at least. Maybe in a few days when it went away they could find this funny (fearsome General of the First Order burned to a crisp), but for now, he was too annoyed to be anything other than exceedingly formal about the entire ordeal.

“I’m glad.” Phasma sounded like she was smiling, but he had no real way of knowing due to her helmet. “Hux, maybe you should go to medbay.” She moved to put a hand on his shoulder, but then thought better of it.

“I will be returning to my quarters as soon as I finish my rounds. Now if that’s all – ” Hux had to grit his teeth in pain as Lieutenant Mitaka came barreling down the hallway, not stopping soon enough, and accidentally knocking into Hux. His entire torso screamed in agony.

“General! Captain! I am so sorry, I didn’t mean to – ” Mitaka looked like he feared for his life, and Hux was nearly about ready to give him reason for it.

“Yes, what is it?” Phasma interrupted, her tone patient.

“Lord Ren’s shuttle has landed, he has returned from his mission.” Mitaka squeaked, before saluting and running off again.

“What perfect timing.” Hux muttered. He was glad to have gotten back on the ship before Kylo, but he had been hoping to have a few moments alone to figure out what to do about his sunburn. He didn’t like Kylo seeing him weak. In their five years of knowing one another, there had only been two instances where Hux had dropped the ball in keeping himself healthy. He wasn’t looking forward to the mocking smiles or teasing jokes that his sunburn would bring.

In the docking bay, Kylo wasted no time striding off his shuttle and making a bee line straight to Hux. Hux stood proud as he always did when he greeted his Knight; chin held high and hands clasped behind his back. His now burning, stinging back.

“Welcome back Lord Ren.” Hux gave a formal nod of his head, and Kylo returned the gesture.

“I’m glad to be home. The mission was a success.” Kylo replied, and Hux’s heart swelled. It had been weeks since he had heard that voice, and he was looking forward to hearing it without the vocoder obstructing its beautiful baritone.

“I look forward to the full report.” He smiled, his cheeks stinging at the slight pull. Kylo nodded, and the two walked side by side out of the bay, not giving a care to any of the officers that watched them.

As soon as they stepped through the threshold of their shared quarters, Kylo was on him. He took off his helmet and his outer robe, draping it over the desk chair as Hux liked. They both kicked off their boots, and then Kylo’s cold hands were gently unbuttoning Hux’s uniform jacket, pulling his tunic and trousers off, leaving him in just his tank top, briefs, and socks. Hux braced himself for laughter.

“Did you put sunscreen on?” Kylo asked gently, no malice in his voice. He began removing his own layers, until he was only in his boxers.

“Of course I did.” He huffed, staring down at his now exposed arms. The sunburn had developed while his limbs were hidden away under the black of his clothing. It was a much deeper red than the pink he remembered from that morning. “Just not enough.”

“Come here.” Kylo turned the shower on, using real water instead of the sonic. Hux rolled his eyes, it was the middle of the work cycle, hardly time to wash, or have sex, whatever he was planning.

“No, Kylo I don’t think – ” Hux began, but the look on Kylo’s face made him stop.

“Trust me?” Kylo asked, dropping his boxers and stepping under the spray.  

Afraid for his skin, Hux hesitated for a very long moment before he shucked the rest of his clothing and put one foot in. He yelped, the water was freezing!

“Kylo! I am not getting in there with you.” He crossed his arms, wincing.

“Hux you’re not the only one in the galaxy who has ever had a sunburn. This will help, I promise.” Kylo pleaded, holding a hand out.

Hux groaned, and eventually had to count to three before entering the shower, letting out a whine as the water hit. After the initial shock, it actually started to feel nice. It was like the cold water was drawing the heat from his abused skin, cooling him down to the bone. He had forgotten what it felt like to not have the ever-present feel of heat on his body. Who knew one day in the sun could cause this much anguish?

“Stop being dramatic.” Kylo smiled, reading Hux’s mind and gently kissing him on the lips; it was the only part of Hux that Kylo knew he wouldn’t get smacked from accidentally hurting his burn. Hux sighed into the kiss, not paying attention as Kylo reached around him and grabbed a bottle of gel.

He pulled back immediately as Kylo spread the gel onto his skin, eyeing it suspiciously.

“Relax, it’s aloe.” Kylo grinned, handing the bottle to Hux to let him read the label. “It’s found on most tropical planets, people use it for this exact reason.”

“You can continue.” Hux sniffed, really enjoying the feeling of the aloe soaking into his skin. The more he thought about it, the happier he was that Kylo showed up right after he did. He didn’t know he and Kylo even owned aloe, they lived on a star destroyer for kriff sake.

“When we get out of the shower, I’ll rub lotion onto your skin too.” Kylo said, mostly to himself.

“How do you know so much about this?” Hux asked, playfully elbowing Kylo in the stomach and watching his lover scrub the weeks of dirt and grime from the mission off his skin and hair.

“Training.” Came the simple reply, his eyes closed so they wouldn’t sting from the shampoo he was lathering into his locks.

“I’m sorry for your suffering, but I’m glad one of us knows how to deal with this.” Hux didn’t know what sort of training required Kylo to have extensive knowledge on treating second degree burns, but he wasn't sure he would like it.

“Next time you’ll just have to bring me along.” Kylo could sense Hux’s mood darkening, and was having none of it. It worked, Hux was laughing.

“Next time! This ship will be lucky if I leave again in the next year!” He shook his head, stepping out of the shower and into a towel that was floating next to the door by way of the force.

“Drama queen.” Kylo chuckled, but Hux didn’t care, he carefully dried himself off and laid down in their bed. The sheets were perfectly cold.

“You know, while I was at the resort, I was given the most wonderful massage, do you think you could put those hands of yours to work?” He called, relaxing on his stomach, letting the cool air hit his back.

Kylo shut the water off, and watched Kylo emerge like some sculpted God with his towel slung low on his hips. There were bruises and gashes he had slapped a bacta patch over that Hux knew he would need to get stitched up for, and he toyed with the idea of sending Kylo away immediately to go see them fixed. The thought of making his lover leave so soon after he had been without him churned in his stomach, so when Kylo patted the space next to him on the bed, Hux rolled over with a smile.

“I missed you.” Kylo’s voice was soft, he carded his fingers through Hux’s hair.

“I missed you too. It was a success, you said?” Hux let his eyes close, enjoying Kylo’s presence.

“Yes, I got what Snoke wanted.” Kylo began spreading lotion all over Hux’s skin.

“Good. Don’t leave again.” His voice broke, remembering all the sleepless nights.

“I won’t.” Kylo leaned down to kiss his General. “As long as you promise not to fry yourself in the sun again.” He teased, making Hux glare.

“Shut up.” He rolled his eyes.

“You know your hair looks extra vibrant with your skin like this.” Kylo grinned, running his fingers through it, making it stick up in all directions because it was still wet.

Hux silenced him with a kiss. Kylo was home, and he learned a valuable lesson in SPF. In the end, he knew he could manage anything with his lover by his side.

[starlightwandering-blog1]

Abilities

A list and explanation of Mika’s abilities, due to his nature or his cybernetics. Please note: Abilities from his cybernetics do not apply within his fantasy verse.

Theoretical immortality: Because Mika’s body is barely made of organic material, as long as he maintains his cybernetics, his body can go on indefinitely. The organic parts will eventually die, but if he can fend off the issues of aging technology, he can continue to live well past his organic lifespan.

Hard to kill: While crippling Mika, and rendering him unable to move or fight, isn’t any more difficult than doing the same to a normal living thing, there remains a question of what counts as killing an android. Destroying his memories could count, but if his processing functions aren’t destroyed, he can still continue to exist, just without his memories or personality. Destroying the processing center, he would be left with no ability to move, think, or exist, but could be revived by placing him memory files into another computer and allowing the AI he lives off of to come back online. There is also the issue of finding his memory and processing center is. The only indisputable death would to be completely destroy his entire physical body, including memory bank and processing cores, until there is nothing left to salvage. 

Exponential room to improve: Mika cannot heal from injuries the way normal organic beings can. He must replace or repair any damaged parts of his body, but this also means he can upgrade himself with stronger robotics, better cybernetics, ect ect, whenever he can find the parts. For this reason, he tends to keep extra replacement parts around.

Perfect memory: Because Mika’s memory is stored within data, and not biological functioning, his memory is nearly perfect. With exception to memories he deliberately does not want to remember, and memories that become corrupted, he will recall almost anything with perfect accuracy to his own experience. However, finding the correct memories he’s looking for can often take a while for him to recall. Memory altering affects of creatures he encounters must also be able to affect electronic memory in order to delete, alter, or otherwise change his recollections. He is not immune to these things; he's just a computer rather than a biological thing.

Transformation: Mika has three individual forms he can maintain, as demonstrated in his ref sheet. The primary form will be his anthro form. The other two are rare to be seen, since feral often leads to him being treated more like an animal, and his angel form only activates when specific conditions are met. Transforming is also particularly painful for him, and between feral and anthro, always runs the risk of damaging his cybernetics.

Sonic scream: Using his voice, Mika is able to produce a sound loud enough to temporarily deafen most creatures in the vicinity. Anyone directly next to him when he screams runs the risk of getting ruptured ear drums, depending on their personal abilities. Most normal humans will be affected. This ability is much harder to use as a cyborg, and often lends to his voice modulation breaking down immediately after.

Angel: Mika’s angelic form is something natural to him as a chimera. While in this form, he has 360 vision from his three heads and multiple eyes. The only blind spots are directly under and above him, but these are easy to keep covered by moving his heads or using his hand or wing eyes. All extra limbs within this form are completely organic, grow as new organic material during the transformation, and then rot away at the end. Very often, Mika does not retain memories while in this form. He is aware that there are points of time missing from his memory, and that things happened that he was the cause of, but he does not know what happened unless informed, and tends to draw conclusions based on the aftermath. For this reason, he is very hesitant to allow this form to trigger. Angelic form is also primarily destructive, another reason Mika doesn’t like it. This is because the transformation happens when he becomes enraged or put in severe danger. It is controlled by basic instincts and not higher functioning, so reasoning with him is useless. If you manage to trigger this mode, your best bet is to leave him until he can calm down. He is known to attack even those close to him while within angel mode. The only time Mika is capable of flying is while he is an angel.

[gulescamisade]

Betty Crocker Headquarters:  Dragonfly Flight

[ Speaking of, the ships are getting closer and some ground troups are moving in to set up some kind of artillery support. There's a bizarre mix of weapons-- longbows and grenade launchers, mortar cannons and trebuchets. Along with the mottley assortment of sea creatures alongside the boats... ]

[The rebel crew is still parked on the dragonfly, though they're going to have to take off REAL soon once everyone gets aboard.]

URSAIS: -quickly mounts again- alrRigh' EVErRybody on!!!

NEPETA: =Is back on.... WITH FRIENDS=

MITUNA: -His eyes crackle with energy and he starts floating.- oh 5hi7brickle5

ERIDAN: -mounts himself onto the dragonfly at the beck of this gross lowblood.- RUFIOH: -Keeping some distance away on wings. DETERMINED. He's glad he brought his armor with him.-

NEPETA: =she will eat him=

[PLAY NICE YALL]

HEITOR: BUZZ THE ARTILLERY.

-obnoxiously nudges at the bug pilot-

JOEY: hella. =She has something help tight in her fist. It looks like a flashlight.=

MITUNA: -He's flying close to the dragonfly, keeping an eye on things, waiting for these ships to fire-

[ Some of the trebuchets fire as they take off into the air... and a group of ROWDY PUNCHBOYS sail through the air, directly towards the dragonfly's crew. A gruop of about six sailing majestically like doves...]

[The RUFFIANNIHILATORS have NO GOOD INTENTIONS TOWARDS YOU WHATSOEVER]

[The lances are poised and ready!!]

JOEY: =Receiving a text from her brother dear, she shouted the thing he mentioned in passing as she watched these punchboys sail like leaves on the wind.= JOEY: barrel roll???!(edited)

MITUNA: D0 4 84RR3L R0LL

[A group of Archeradicators down on the surface are taking careful aim... directly at this one DISGUSTING mustardblood flying around COMPLETELY UNTETHERED with his psionics in NAKED OPEN SIGHT. HORRIBLE.]

ERIDAN: -actually just. Equips his assault rifle and lets loose the gunfire on these ruffiannihilators. TAT TAT TAT TAT.-

MITUNA: -Oh shit, he's doing his own meme maneuvers, swooping down and giving them an OPTIC BLAST-

[ The column of flashing red-and-blue light overtakes the group-- some of them manage to scatter, but there is a swathe of scorched earth in their place.]

[The rowdy punchboys are tough-- veritable bullet sponges-- the sustained assault more of a burn on ammunition than anything else, but they, too, begin to drop to the earth.]

[Way to shoot right into the crowd of them some of them bite it but there's so many, they focus on the mighty seadweller who is a nasty traitor. WHAT A WASTE OF GOOD BLOOD]

ERIDAN: -eat his GRENADES.-

URSAIS: - Equips one of her two abstratus. SLING KIND. And holy shit does she spin it fast. The projectile is not a normal rock. It looks very EXPLOSIVE. With a mighty heave she sends it down towards the FUCKIN HIGHBLOODS-

JOEY: =She stands on the back of this mount, popping up behind Eridan and turning on her flashlight. An extraordinary, unnaturally bright light surges forth. Stare into the sun, mofos!=

[There are several loud BOOMS in the direction of the lake-- cannon fire, on the port side!!!! dragonflies have port sides.]

ULFURA: -SHE IS TOTALLY FLYING THIS DRAGONFLY-

MITUNA: -Nyooming back towards the dragonfly and trying to redirect enemy fire back to the enemy themself.-

[No? One ship does so happen to get sploded but we have more ships. MEga ships. So many ships we don't know what to fuckin do with em. The catapult sends another wave of Sword-Waving-Rebel-Fighters right for the dragonfly]

LATULA: -shit dude, fuckin shit, this is making her anxious as hell and she's not a steady shot when her hands are shaking. Gotta... gotta be cool. Gotta be calm. Deep breath. Squeeze the trigger...-

LATULA: -baby's first confirmed kill. She feels sick watching the cloud of blood come from the troll's head, body ragdolling from the sky, but fuck.-

[Some of the others still latch onto the side, though. Landing on the dragonfly and attempting to crawl upwards, onto the surface, and MENACE the team with their various swords.]

NEPETA: =POPS her head over the side= NEPETA: :33 NEPETA: =STABS WITH HER BARE CLAWS AT THE CLOSEST DUDE..... rip. Then eyeballs the others=

[ THEY'RE STILL GOING FOR IT. The ones who agree to load themselves into catapults don't have the BEST survival instincts.]

URSAIS: -In her free hand she equps her MELEE abstatus, which is a clauntet with three prong blades, kind of a bigger, wider version of what Nepeta uses. She coils up on the dragonfly and stabs upwards, aiming for the neck of the nearest guy.- I'M GONNA RrIP YA T' PIECES.

ERIDAN: -is there water below? How deep is it?-

URSAIS: Y' WON'T BE GOOD FErR MORE THAN GRUBSAUCE Y' FUCKIN BULLSHIT HIGHBLOODS. EAT MY SHIT!!!

MITUNA: holy 5hi7 7ha75 a lo7 of 5hip -Swooces in to draw the fire of the mega ships-

URSAIS: -Whether or not they're actually highbloods doesn't matter. She seems very BARBARIAN-Y-

URSAIS: -Like if she had to be a class, she might be someone prone to go into RAGES.-

[Oh, it does WORK. There's a lot of fire, in fact. If cannonballs won't work, there are rockets. If rockets don't work, there are ballistae and arrows.]

[The cloud of projectile weaopns make for a difficult slalom to not lose anymore limbs or die.]

NEPETA: =Oh you know what...... she scrunches up her face then eyeballs the ships.... she's going to start aiming deadly darts for the firerers=

MITUNA: -Nyooms past the pilot, grinning. You FOOL. YOU BUFFOON.

YOU ABSOLUTE DULLARD

! Can't you see the rockets are following him? Flying right back at you.-

[There are a couple EXPLOSIONS as the heat seeking missiles seek heat.]

[ Some of the boats are already sinking... but they're the smaller ones using old fashioned seafaring cannons.]

MITUNA: -Mostly, he tries to get them to redirect fire at each other by nyooming and zooming, occasionally forcing their projectiles back at themselves with psionics-

[But what is Mituna going to do when some larger ships roll up with sonic canons. BWOOOOMMMMMM, shoots right for him](edited)

MITUNA: -IT'S A REAPER!-

RUFIOH: -swoops in at high speeds to BREEZE BLAST Mituna out of the trajectory of the sonic canons. He's got your back bro!-

[As the last of the bloodied trebuchet-victims falls from the dragonfly, they begin launching more rockets-- since their psionic is diverting fire from the WATER then he can't be in two places at ONCE. Right for the side of the dragonfly.]

MITUNA: -Goes swooshing in another direction???? He looks around, confused....-

MITUNA: !!!!

MITUNA: RU F1 00000000000H

[Alright mutant wing freak there's a boom here for you. bWOOOoOOOOOOOM]

MITUNA: -Time to return the favor. He psionics Rufioh right out of the way.-

[Guys.... come on.... just. Let us kill you. GOD.]

MITUNA: -Go fuck your mother????-

[The rockets aimed for the side of the dragonfly seem like they're only an instant away of firing before some strange, crackling blue streak collides into them on the ground. A small, roundish figure crashes straight through in a line, as... someone? Something? Cuts through the survivors with long, tendril-like limbs.]

RUFIOH: -spins in the air. Anyway bye.-

JOEY: D8 what the fu--

ERIDAN: -Doesn't like the look of that figure. Time to shoot it.-

[A LORGER figure blocks that blast, bowling into some ships with it's massive assive]

[That bullet tickled..... in the WRONG WAY. KERSMASHES]

MITUNA: WHA7

LATULA: ???

LATULA: 1UNO DUD3 -SHOUTING-

NEPETA: =perks up and leans over the basket= NEPETA: :33 < finally!!! =LEAPS=

NEPETA: :33 < they're furrrrrieeennndddsssss =descends=

LATULA: WH3R3 4R3 YOU???

LATULA: 4LR1GHT!!!!!

LATULA: SUR3 OK4Y!

URSAIS: AY, WELL. THAZ GOOD ENUFF FER ME. -she's following Nepeta. CANON BALL!!!-

LATULA: 44444!!!!

LATULA: -FUCKIN-

LATULA: -GOD!-

[There's some breathing room, now that a significant number of the ships and artillery are down. Enough to maybe go further on the offensive.]

MITUNA: um

MITUNA: yeah okay fuck me i gue55

NEPETA: =lands on a big large and is fighting the ships down there. So much blood on this cat.=

LATULA: why 1s 3v3ryon3 so fuck1n much.

LATULA: -trying to use her scope to get a read on the battle again...-

FRAZZA: =aka the big large, catches Ursais. They are big, they are heavily armored. They are smashing gunnery=

URSAIS: -Wow that turned out pretty well. She was going on faith here.-

[Okay. What the actual fuck is all this noise??]

MITUNA: -He's just...gonna optic blast the boom cannons. Okay? Okay.-

[LARGER ships roll up with gatling guns, maybe now that the little ships are being sacrificed for the cause they open fire, literal fire bullets on Mituna]

LATULA: DUD3 NO YOUR S1X BRUH

URSAIS: -With her vantage point, she's going to have a nice long time to wind up her SLINGKIND and launch another large projectile at the incoming ships-

[Some of the gatlings BLOW UP, all twisted barrels and scorched metal.]

MITUNA: -He's running through the six with his woes. You know how that shit go. The searing hot pain in his body reminds him he needs to MOVE, and so he does flying back up and out of reach, but that doesn't stop his clothes from being stained yellow. Minimal hits, but getting shot is getting fucking shot.-

[it sure is dude dang]

LATULA: -SCREAMING A LOT-

LATULA: -she's not really hitting much with these shots now, cause of the screaming-

MITUNA: -Plarps next to Latula on the dragonfly. Ma'am can you not. -

LATULA: how b4d????

LATULA: FUCK.

[They're weakened. Fires more shots! ]

URSAIS: -WINDS UP ANOTHER THROW-

MITUNA: 1 G07 FUCK1NG 5H07 8R0 WH47 D0 Y0U 7H1NK

LATULA: 1 M34N 1 C4NT T3LL????

LATULA: M4YB3 1TZ JUST L1K3 4 FL3SH WOUND OR WH4T3VZ?

[Gunman: DOOF, is murderlated by the sling toss. Rude af]

MITUNA: 1M F1N3 1 GU355 1M N07 HUMP1N UP D415135

LATULA: sh1t. SH1T. 4LR1GHT! [The troll with the weird creepy stilt-limbs is creating a path of ice, skittering along the water and using those fingers to punch holes in boats Meanwhile, the blue streak ZOOMS right up to The BIG and nepeta. Communicating that they'd like to be thrown through some hurried hand gestures.]

EQUIUS: -Remind him to work on your voice boxes later-

FRAZZA: =Cronches the muzzle of a big gun and looks at the blue streak.... scoops up.... STRONG TOSS. Gonna skip the friendo like a pebble on a lake=

[ three... four skips. And then CRASH into the hull of the big ship. That is a significant hole!!! and it is taking on some significant water.]