#drama oNLY IN THE CASE OF GREY THE BUTT!!

[blackbutler-readerinsertsandjunk]

Hello, could I ask for headcanons of Snake with a s/o who has snakes of their own? Some other characters I would like to include are Cheslock, Violet, Joanne, and Charles Grey please!

absolutely!! this is so cute, I’m sorry Grey is kind of a BUTT in regard to this dfjkldafjkla

but anyway snakes are my favorite animals so I do be VIBING

Just… keep those things away from him, right? There are some things he’s just not fond of, and snakes are one of them. He doesn’t care if his S/O has them, as long as he doesn’t really have to interact with the creatures regularly. It’s not as strong as a fear (the things aren’t ghosts, after all); more he… simply doesn’t care for them.

He’ll give them water to drink or help with baths if (Name) asks, but no way in hell is he going to help with feeding. Even if he liked snakes, he just doesn’t have the stomach for that. He won’t even get as far as trying ― they ask, and he flat-out says that he doesn’t want to. At least he’s good at setting boundaries!

To be clear: if he wakes up to the beasts in his bed or anything along those lines, he will ask his S/O to choose him or them. It’s more about boundaries, again, than anything else. As far as he’s concerned, the bed is not a place for pets, it’s for people. It’s different if (Name), say, asks him to hold the snakes or lets them slither on the carpet in front of the hearth or anything where he knows they’re out and about. He’s fine with that. He just won’t tolerate them nearby, while he’s sleeping and unaware, in the bed. Otherwise he actually handles them very well for someone who’s not a snake person… for a short time, anyway.

Huh… that’s a bit different, innit? Certainly not something you see every day. Luckily, Cheslock is obviously a sucker for the unconventional, which includes pets. So he’s totally well and good with these wiggly little guys, and in fact he really likes them! That said, snakes (and their care, etc.) are something he doesn’t know too much about, so (Name) should expect a good deal of questions to answer and misconceptions to correct. He’s passionate and curious, though, which counts for a lot!

He might be a small bit wary the first few times he holds them, because he’s never really done that before. He likes it, of course; just the idea of getting bitten makes him a little anxious! Thankfully he gets used to handling them fairly quickly. It’s a great way to bond with both them and with his S/O. Plus, he’s not the least bit paranoid about constrictors squeezing him slightly to hang on!

In the future, he’s definitely going to get tattoos dedicated to the snakes, just like he’s got one dedicated to (Name). It’ll probably be like one tattoo on his leg, with all the snakes’ names winding up from his ankle and maybe some scale designs. Hell, he might even be cheeky and get snakebite piercings “in honor of the little buggers!” Don’t let that fool you, he really does care about and enjoy the snakes his darling has made company with.

Breathtaking…! Being into all the weird and strange things, seeing the beauty in places no one else might find it, he’s instantly fascinated. His beloved just keeps getting more and more intriguing, don’t they? These are exotic animals, not the ones he may see all the time like dogs or cats or even birds, for that matter. (Name) found something about them to be drawn in by, which he can undoubtedly appreciate. And, well, he must admit… the snakes are awfully cute.

Sooooooo many drawings of them will be coming practically as soon as he’s introduced to his S/O’s pets. That’s the case with any subject he gets interested in, is that he’s compelled to start drawing them. Artists! It’s endearing, though, to see him just as enthralled to draw the snakes as he is to draw (Name) themself. And he’s so incredibly talented, they’re sure to keep everything forever ― paintings, sketches, etchings, everything, because he works in a variety of mediums and they’re each just as gorgeous as the other.

He’s terribly relaxed about the idea of the snakes crawling on him. Handling them and having them in his lap or draped over his arms or anything like that doesn’t bother him in the slightest. Why should he be at all perturbed by that, really? Not only is he happy to be giving them plenty of warmth, it also takes… quite a bit to faze Gregory Violet. The company is nice, and he also can’t deny that he likes to pet whichever snakes will tolerate that kind of treatment; it’s calming, in a way. If he were just a little less vigilant (or like Edgar), he might fall asleep cuddling with them and (Name).

Oh, that’s… well… well, that’s certainly different! Although he’s heard of people having snakes as pets, he’s never actually known of anyone in real life (in relation to his own life, at least) who’s kept them. Like with many things, he’s quite starry-eyed when it comes to new concepts such as this. He’s been a little sheltered in terms of varied experiences, but thank goodness he’s got an escape in books. It means he’s maybe slightly startled by his S/O’s pets, and not outright terrified. That’s a win, right?

Oh, he loves it when they flick their little tongues out at him!! That means they’re smelling him, which he knows, so he makes sure to never, ever, ever change the kind of soap he uses. This way they can recognize him much more easily and won’t get confused. Plus, a couple of them seem rather keen on slithering into his hair, especially when it’s covering his face, so that’s cause not to switch shampoos either. And their tongues tickle his skin, making him laugh, so he’s never not smiling when he’s with the snakes. Once or twice (Name) has even caught him mirroring the gesture, with the snake sticking their tongue out briefly and Joanne then sticking the tip of his tongue out in return. Cuuuute.

Honestly, he’s excited to have an animal he can actually interact with, without any issues! He’s allergic to pretty much anything with fur, and although that doesn’t stop him from playing with his older sister’s cat, it does make him miserable for hours after. Joanne’s eager to go ahead and ‘adopt’ the snakes after his S/O introduces him, thinking of the creatures as his pets just as much as theirs. As long as the snakes are alright with it and not stressed, he’ll gladly lounge on the couch for hours reading with them in his lap or coiled around his arms. Being lonely has been a constant in his life before things improved, and even now he’s still shy, so… it’s nice to see him happy and peaceful like this.

… Snake play dates??? Oh, yes, most certainly, snake play dates. He loves that his friends and his S/O’s friends can just kind of be together and mess around and be snakes with each other. As long as none of them happen to get frisky with one another, (snakes will be snakes), he knows they’ll all play nice. Ergo, he and (Name) don’t have to worry so much if they happen to want to, well, be alone for a bit. Not to mention, he also doesn’t have to worry about his darling not being supportive of the snakes, because, well, they’ve got scaly buddies of their own! He’s really never been more in love than with someone who also prefers the company of snakes.

Both of them serve as snake babysitters for each other’s snakes, too. They’re happy to do it! Snake’s snakes trust (Name), and (Name)’s snakes trust Snake, so it’s really not that hard. (Name) has exactly zero problems learning all of their little quirks and interacting with them, and Snake can talk to them so it’s not an issue for him in any way. It’s rather sweet to watch them interact with each other’s pets, because it’s so clear the love and care they have. Now it’s like they’ve got one big snake cuddle puddle rather than separate groups; neither of them could possibly be more content with that, of course.

This really is something he’s only dared to dream about. Most of his life he’s been quite aware that most people he might befriend, let alone be with romantically, would probably only tolerate the presence of snakes in their life. But he’s so, so excited that here they are, this wonderful person who actively enjoys the company of these creatures as much as he does! It gives him this almost kind of inner peace knowing that they chose him. There’s someone out there, right here, who thinks in a way that he does, likes some of the things he likes, someone who would rather be with him and his snakes than with someone ‘normal’. He’s just so happy they all found each other, and he takes every opportunity to remind them that this is his dream come true.

[star-lemonade]

The Altar

Ateez San x Reader

Genre: smut, candy shop au

Cw: smut, San likes it when you say his name

Rating: R

Word count: 5 k

Thanks to @yutasgalaxy​ for giving feedback. I changed a lot since you read it xD

“You should really go there.”

Your friend’s voice still rang in your ears. These words had been said to you so often lately. Your friend had heard good things about it, although you suspected it was first-hand experience. You felt frustrated about the lack of men in your life. It was hard to meet someone new and the few times you had actually met a nice guy, they had not been interested in you. Afterwards you felt the drought in your bed even more than usual. Maybe it was time. Time to go there. The Candy Shop.

You went to the address your friend provided. That was the first unusual thing. When you had looked for it online, you had not been able to find an address. How could there be a place that can not be found on the internet? The building was as mundane as a grey house between other grey houses could be. The entrance did not look like a shop either. The window next to the door was small and drapes obscured the view inside. Only the “open” sign at the door indicated that this was the right place.

You opened the door, and a bell announced your entrance to the empty room. It was a small space for a store, and it was filled to the brim with boxes. Boxes on shelves, boxes on the floor, in giant box towers, boxes hanging in nets from the ceiling. The oddest thing was their color; all of the boxes were the same warm grey. No writing. No pictures. How did anyone know what was inside the boxes? Maybe I’m wrong here? You turned to leave.

“Oh, there you are.”

The voice came from behind you and it sounded familiar. The woman looked exactly how you remembered her, Ms Lee, who had been your homeroom teacher in middle school. She wore a tie-dye tank top that showed off her wrinkly arms.

“Ms Lee?”

She smiled like a proud mother, not something you wanted to see in a sex toy shop. Her smile had always been an attractive feature of her. You could see why she had been the most popular widow at the school.

“No, dear. I’m the Owner.”

Even her voice sounded the same. At least you thought she sounded like Ms Lee. On the other hand it had been years since you had see her.

“Oh, excuse me.”

You could have sworn that she was your old teacher, but she was not. Good. Imagine running into your old teacher in a shop like this. Awkward.

“Ehm, I’m looking for something.”

There was no point in feeling embarrassed now. You had already entered the sex shop, but you still felt your face burn. If you act awkward, it will just be more embarrassing. Get it together! You were about to elaborate further when she said:

“Of course. I think I have just the thing. Follow me.”

How could the owner sound so confident, when you had not given her any information? She turned around and walked to the counter in the back of the shop, and you followed. Surprisingly the counter was not made out of boxes stacked on top of each other but from wood.

“Wait here, please.”

The Owner went behind the counter and left through a door. The side room too seemed to be filled with boxes, as much as you could see of it. You still wondered how she knew what was in each box. Did they all have the same things inside? Maybe there had been a shipment of something, and now it clogged up the place? She returned with a smile on her face.

“Here.”

She held the thing out for you, and without thinking, you took it from her. Why did you do that?

“A walking stick?”

The long wooden stick was knobbly and looked like it had been a small tree that someone debarked. It was not carved but it had grown relatively straight. The surface was polished and waxed, shining in the dim light of the shop.

“Yes. You should go and have a picnic.”

You stared at the stick and back to her incredulously. This must be a joke.

“But-”

“No problem,” The Owner waved you off. “That’s on the house. Have fun.”

She smiled before leaving through the door behind the counter. The lock clicked into place you were alone with your stick.

“...should I stick this in my butt or what?”

You shouted after her but the Owner did not return. Reluctantly, you left and went home.

That night you had a dream about your childhood house where your parents used to live. It was small and cozy in a tiny town near the mountains.

The mountains.

Yes, you missed going up the hidden paths to the tops of the small mountains. The forest that covered them had been your place to play when you had lived there. You had spent the years of your childhood running around in the undergrowth. In your dream the sun was shining from a bright blue sky that only came in autumn. You walked up the mountain as you had done many times. It was not clear to you if this was a memory or not but you almost felt the sun burn on your face. You reached the top of the mountain in what felt like a record time. Here stood a bench that overlooked the valley and your hometown. It was beautiful.

When you woke up, the dream had left a hole in you. You yarned for the home, that was not your home any more. You decided that you would go there.

Today. Now.

You got dressed, packed an overnight bag and ate a big breakfast. The ride to the town would take two hours, but you did not know if you would be able to return to your apartment in time. Hiking was exhausting and maybe you would be too tired to drive back to the city.

You grabbed the walking stick and went to your car. The drive was familiar. You had done it lots of times. Today the time flew and you found yourself pulling into the parking lot of the only supermarket of your hometown.

Maybe I should get some food? I will be hungry when I’m up there. You looked at the mountain that barely classified as one. Today the air was humid and mist hung over the forest beyond the town limits. Thegrey sky looked about ready to release more on the land. You did not really pay attention to what you bought. The old man at the counter looked up and smiled. You paid and left the store.

The parking lot where the hiking paths started was empty. It had just rained and most people had stayed at home. You packed the food and drinks into your backpack.

The path was slippery and your shoes sank a few centimeters with every step. This made the hike much harder and slower than you had expected. You knew the path well, even after all this time, your body moved on its own now. Pulling one foot out of the mud and planting it further up the path. Repeat with the other foot. In the forest you saw some trees that had fallen over. This was always the case of course but they were different from last time you had been here.

Some time later you found yourself at a bench, and stopped there to drink something. The next part would be a bit steeper so you pulled out the walking stick.

The ground was wet and the path was getting muddier the higher up you went. Maybe I should take a short cut to the top? If you went straight through the trees here, you would be there faster than following the path. You were impatient today and turned left into the forest.

The ground here was less muddy but you had to step more carefully. Holes in the ground could be hidden by dead leaves and small plants. Breaking your ankle in the middle of the forest did not sound like a good idea. The forest smelled of the herbs that grew all over the place. You considered picking some of them, but you were not sure which ones were really eatable. Ahead the trees grew less dense.

In the glade you saw something and walked closer to check it out. It was a slab of stone that was overgrown by moss and vines. You examined the stone closer and you noticed the top was smooth and the sides were covered in patterns. It was not an ordinary stone; It was an altar.

The altar of a forgotten deity. Lost in the forest and being consumed by nature without the care of the believers.

I don’t believe in gods, but it feels like I should pay my respects. You never know.

You set your backpack down next to the altar and picked up a stick that was lying on the ground. The moss grew mostly on the sides which would not be easy to clean but the top should be easier. You used the stick to scrape off the vines and grime that had accumulated there. It did not come off well but at least the altar looked a bit better than before. You drank some water from your bottle and looked into your backpack.

Maybe I should leave some offerings too?

You picked up a leaf and used it as a makeshift plate for the rice. The red apple and one of the little desserts would have to do.

“Have a good day.”

You returned to the car without having been to the top. It was still light outside so you decided to drive back to your apartment. You felt exhausted but you really wanted to sleep in your own bed.

When you arrived the sun had set and you were about to fall asleep. You fell into your bed and passed out, sleeping like the proverbial stone.

The next day was Sunday which was good. No work. No need to get out of bed either.

You showered, made yourself a quick breakfast and got back under your warm blanket. Sunday morning was the perfect time to do nothing. You turned on the tv and continued to watch the drama you had started the prior week.

The couple got together in this episode and it made you feel so single. Seeing them kiss on screen made you miss kissing. Yeah, just kissing. What a lie. You paused the video. Maybe I should watch some porn instead? It still bugged you that your trip to the Candy Shop had been so fruitless. Why did you get a walking stick? The stick. You had not taken it with you. It was probably still next to the altar in the forest. Ah, well, my dildo will have to do. Getting off with it was nice, but it was not the same as having sex with a guy. For a moment you thought about the pretty male lead in the drama. How nice it would be to run your hands over his face and body. Sadly, this was not very realistic. I will go on tinder on Monday.

“Is it too much to ask for a cute, caring boyfriend to have hot sex with?”

You groaned and looked at the ceiling as if that was where your fate would be decided. It did not answer.

“That’s your wish‽”

You almost jumped out of bed. The voice came from your right, the side of the bed that had just been empty. It was not anymore. The man blended into the white sheets with his white clothing. Your heart hammered in your chest.

“What the fuck?!” You shouted. “How did you get in here? Who are you? Get out!”

You backed away. There was no bed left behind you. You fell over backwards but did not hit the ground. Your hand was caught in an iron grip.

“Don’t hurt yourself.”

The man pulled you back into the bed. It brought you close to him. He had long hair that was tied at the top of his head. Something you expected to see in a historical drama not in your bedroom. He had a stunningly beautiful face. Intense eyes, full lips and a sharp jawline.

Why are all hot guys psychos?

“Let go!”

“You will fall again.”

His voice was so gentle it made your heart skip a beat. It was familiar, like a deja vu. This was not someone you had met before, but it still seemed like you knew him. Get it together, the guy broke into your house, don’t be lulled in by his looks.

“How did you get in here?”

You did not know what to do. He held your wrists in his hands, but you backed away as far as possible. Was he going to do something to you?

“I followed you. Yesterday.”

He said it as if it was the normal thing in the world. You stared at him, open mouthed. He had been here since yesterday? Your blood turned to ice. His grip was still holding your wrists. If he had not you would have fallen out of bed now.

“You cleaned the altar so nicely it woke me up from my sleep. It’s been ages since anyone left an offering there.”

The altar. How did he know about that? There had been no one there aside from you.

“Let me go and leave.”

He stared into your eyes. Nothing was hidden from that stare. You wanted to look away but could not. As if hypnotized you stared into his eyes. They were not brown as you had assumed, but a very dark green, like the pine trees at night.

“That’s not what you wished for.”

He kissed one of your hands. His lips were soft but the gesture sent a shiver down your spine. Some part of you was responding to his touch while your higher reasoning was screaming to get away.

“Who are you?”

Your voice was only a whisper, but in the quiet room it was as loud as a scream. He looked at you, reading your face like a book. You did not know if it would be better to show your fear or hide it. What would make him leave?

“I am the mountain.”

He puffed out his chest a bit as he said that. The mountain. What kind of name was that? You had known everyone who had lived in your hometown and no one was called San. Maybe he was a tourist who happened to be in the forest? Then it struck you. The altar. The mountain, San. This man was not a man at all. He was the god of the mountain and you had brought him to your home. That’s what you get from being nice, an uninvited guest. Great.

“And I decided to grant your wish.”

You were not ready to process any new information, but here he was, talking. Was it even possible that this man was the god of the mountain? No one had seen you in the forest. You had been alone yesterday evening and just now when you had made breakfast, the door had still been locked. So unless he broke into your apartment just now… no, you had not heard or seen anything out of the ordinary.

“You doubt me.”

San was clearly disappointed in your lack of faith. He stared at you, waiting for you to explain yourself. You had every right to be suspicious of some random dude who claimed to be a god.

“Yes.”

He nodded slowly and looked around your bedroom. The little pout on his face made him look cuter and less scary, but he was still plenty scary. He let go of your hands and left the room. Maybe I should run for it. You sprang from the bed and in a few steps you were at the bedroom door. Where you almost ran into San. He was both taller and shorter than you had expected. Just like the mountain. His legs were longer than usual for someone his height.

“Here.”

In his hand was the basil plant you had bought a few days ago. It did not look too hot. The leaves had started to hang down and some were already crumpeling.

“Yeah, I should throw it out...”

San was appalled.

“But it’s still alive!! Look!”

He stared at the plant and it became healthy again. With your mouth open you stared at the plant. Its leaves were full and beautifully green again. The smell of basil filled the room.

“So you believe me now?”

The smug smile on his face was almost too much. You nodded reluctantly. San brought the plant back to the kitchen, while you sank down on the bed. There is a deity in my apartment. San sat down on the bed next to you.

“So, what was my wish?”

What dumb shit have I wished for? A smile so mischievous it made the hairs in your neck stand appeared on his face. He leaned closer and whispered in your ear:

“Hot sex.”

Oh fuck. The reason why you had gone to the Candy Shop had been to get something nice for you. It had been so long since you had been with someone. Sex with a good looking guy sounded so good. San was here and he was offering to give you what you wanted. But wait.

“Didn’t I say “a cute boyfriend”?”

San pursed his lips. “Technically, you did. ‘Cute and caring’”

“So, then where is my boyfriend?”

You pushed your jaw forward in a defiant manner. If you were going to get your wish, it had to be the right one. There was no way he could just make a guy appear out of thin air, could he?

“Am I not cute?”

The fake outrage in his voice was indeed cute, but hell would freeze over before you would admit that.

“What? Are you saying you will be my boyfriend?”

He stared at you and you stared back. It was totally absurd. San could not seriously mean he would be your boyfriend, right?

“Yes.”

You honestly did not have a comeback to that. San had said it like he meant it. I guess he didn’t have to make someone appear out of thin air after all. He is already here.

“Can I change my wish?”

You did not look at him, but you could feel his eyes on you. It had been a mistake, actually several mistakes. You should not have gone to the mountain, or cleaned the altar.

“Do you dislike me this much?”

San sounded almost hurt. What had he expected? That you would just lay down and spread your legs?

“You just showed up here, unannounced. What am I supposed to-“

You stopped yourself. Maybe it was not a good idea to yell a god. It was unclear what he could do besides making plants grow and looking good. San shifted beside you and when you looked at him, he lay on your bed.

“What can I do to make you more comfortable?”

He looked up at you. In that position, one arm probed up holding his head, he reminded you of the old timey rich people lounging on chairs.

“Why do you want to grant me a wish anyways?”

He hesitated. You had asked a sensitive question.

“I am in your debt.”

“Then make me rich and rest peacefully that you have settled your debt.”

You turned more towards him. He pressed his lips together into a thin line. You had to be careful now with your tone. One wrong word now could have bad consequences, so you just looked at him.

“I can’t do that.”

He pressed the words out and avoided your eyes. The fabric of the sheets was suddenly much more interesting. You wondered if he was telling the truth. Why was he insisting on this stupid wish you had made.

“What is in it for you? If you tell me honestly, I will consider it.”

His eyes flickered to your face before studying the sheets again.

“I can leave the mountain.”

He told the bed. “No one believes in me anymore...”

You wondered what the consequences of that were, but now was not the time to ask. So if he played house with you he could stay out here, instead of being alone in the forest. You were sick of being alone too. All the times you had felt lonely, may come to an end now, if you just said yes to San.

“If I said yes, what would happen?”

He tried to hide his relief, his hope, but failed. A smile appeared on his face. San sat up and his eyes sparkeled with delight and mischief.

“I would grant the more pressing part of your wish first.”

You wrinkled your brows. The more pressing part? He leaned closer and whispered in a velvety voice.

“You want to be licked, to ride on a big cock and be pounded until you come. That's the pressing part.”

Your breath caught in your throat. Yes, that was exactly what you wanted. In that order. He looked into your eyes. The more you looked at him the more beautiful he became. Just this once you did not want to overthink everything.

“So, what do you say?”

“What will happen after that?” You could feel his breath on your neck. His lips brushed over your skin. You swallowed audibly.

“I will do anything you want me to do.”

To make his point he kissed your neck. Gently sucking on the sensitive skin there. You move your head to grant him better access. His lips on you made your head spin already. Who would it be if they were somewhere else?

“Okay.”

You sighed and bit your lips. It was time to embrace this weird situation and be bold.

“Eat me out, San.”

He groaned against your skin, when you said his name. His lips landed on yours and he wasted no time. His tongue begged for entrance, sliding over your lips. You were not sure what you had expected, but you were surprised by how normal his mouth felt. San was warm and smelled of the forest after rain.

Your hands buried themselves in his long hair. You thought about untying it but it would be better to wait a bit longer. His Hands slipped under the hem of your pajama pants and between your legs. You gasped as his fingers touched your clit and slipped into you briefly.

“Apparently I will have to do a bit more to get you riled up, my love.”

San smirked at you and positioned himself between your legs. He made sure that he had your attention before he untied the fastings of his jacket. He did not wear anything under it so you had an unobscured view of his body; and what a nice body it was. The way his upper body tempered towards his waist was breathtaking. You wanted to touch him, ran your hands over his body. Right now was not the time though.

He pulled down your pants and kissed your thighs. San did not waste time and went straight to the point. He sucked and licked your clit, slowly circling it before flicking it with his tongue. You grabbed his hair and he smirked against your skin. His tongue moved down, ran around your entrance and dipped in briefly before moving up again. When he sucked your clit into his mouth, your moan quietly. You wanted to close your eyes and concentrate on the feeling of tongue flicking against you, but you also wanted to see him. He slowed the pace down and licked your clit. You felt his fingers circling your entrance before pushing in. The two fingers barely met any resistance and after a few more slow movements he pulled out.

He kissed the inside of your thighs and you groaned. That was not where you wanted his mouth to be.

“How about you ride me now?”

He looked up at you expectantly. If you did not know better, you would have thought he was giving you puppy eyes.

“You’re pretty eager.”

It was only half a joke. You raised an eyebrow.

“Yes. I am.”

Damn. I guess the immortal god of the mountain is not so selfless after all.

“Lie down.”

He was about to take off the jacket but you stopped him.

“Keep it.”

The way it revealed his chest and abs without being completely shirtless looked very sexy. San lay down on his back and you straddled his hips. The tent in his pants made it very evident how much he wanted this. You ran your hands over his chest and loved how his skin felt. It still seemed surreal that he was there, in your bed. Like a dream. But it was not a dream. He felt as solid and real as one could get. You leaned down to kiss his neck. It was so graceful. This close to him you could see the faint freckles on neck, that made him even prettier. You lightly sucked on the spot midway down his neck. He sighed and goosebumps appeared on his soft skin. You looked at his face to see him looking back at you.

“You’re very pretty.”

There was a part you wanted to make a joke out of it a la “you need to get your eyes checked” but you didn’t. It did not sound like a joke.

“You too, Mr Mountain.”

He smiled at the nickname. His hair was not as neat as earlier. You had tucked on it, while he had eaten you out and now some parts of the hair stood out more. Not many hairs had come loose completely though.

“Can I untie your hair?”

He reached for the tie and released it. How could he look any more stunning? With his long hair spilling over the pillow. He smirked up at you. It was very annoying that San knew how much he affected you.

“Are you motivated enough to ride me now?”

Yes, you were very motivated now. You pulled down his pants. It was going to be very fast, judging by his girth. You aligned yourself above him and let yourself sink down on him. The stretch made you gasp. His hands came to rest on your hips. You could still move freely, so it felt like he needed something to hold on to. You gingerly rocked your hips and heard San sigh beneath you. His fingers pressed into your hips. Moving your hips was the only thing you wanted to do now. You felt so full and so close already. Maybe him between your legs earlier was the cause of that. You leaned back and the changed angle made him press against your g spot. Every move sent waves of pleasure through your body.

San sat up and looked into your eyes. A light blush had appeared on his face. You wrapped your arms around his neck and he closed the distance. The kiss made your heart flutter and clench around him. He kissed down your neck to your chest. Your hand flew to his hair when he took one nipple in his mouth. He sucked and circled it with his tongue.

“Say my name.”

It sounded like a plea. His mouth was on the other nipple now while his hand came up to continue. You moved your hips as much as possible with him sitting up. The light biting and twisting of the nipples send electric shocks to your core.

“Oh, San.”

It felt a bit odd to say that but San hummed against your chest, doubling his efforts. Your hand grabbed his hair tighter and you rock your hips fast. So close. He bit down a bit harder at just the right moment to make the wave of pleasure came crashing down. Without realizing it you muttered his name over and over.

A few more movements and your hips came to a hold. San wrapped his arms around you and kissed your forehead. You sank against him and he held you. Your breathing calmed down as you enjoyed being held. He was still inside you and it felt so intimate that you wanted to lighten the mood with humor.

“So, am I going to birth a tree now?”

San chuckled and kissed your shoulder.

“That’s not how that works.”

You smiled against his shoulder as his hands rubbed your back.

After a quick shower, you and San returned to your bedroom. You put on a t-shirt and sweatpants. San lay on the bed waiting for you. When you looked he spread his arms, waiting for you to fall into his arms. You could not help yourself but smile. He really was cute. You sank into his arms and he kissed the top of your head.

“What you wanna do now?”

You asked his chest. It was nice and warm in his arms. Would it be rude to fall asleep now? Your eyelids felt so heavy, it was hard to keep them open. You were not sure if he ever answered because you drifted off to sleep so fast.

And that is how you got yourself a boyfriend that had been a minor god for some time. The plants in your house never withered and from time to time you would visit your town. The altar was still there, in the middle of the forest, slowly being assimilated by nature, but San always went back to the city with you.

For that one person who forgot, 'San' literally means mountain in Korean XD

I'm willing to write some more episodes in this universe, so if you have a request (idk San meeting your friends for the first time or something like this), send me an ask :))

[koelnhbf]

bump into you (knj)

part twelve: you broke the child

genre: fluff!

warnings: nothing we just really, really love namjoon in this house. this is going to be a long one 

“Thanks for the pictures,” you told Namjoon as he handed you back your phone. You looked at your pink cheeks, unsure whether the colouring was caused by the new blush you tried out or because of your date’s devoted picture taking. Although he had told you he’d come pick you up at 7, he had texted you that morning that he’d come pick you up right after classes, so you could be ready by then.

“No problem at all, Yn,” he said and, by the way laughter lines formed around his eyes, you knew he was smiling beneath the mask. 

“Do you want me to take one of you, too?” You asked, switching over to your phone’s camera app, ready to snap a few shots of the guy who just bought you a pre-dinner drink. 

“Not yet, there’s a nice spot I’d like to take you to before we have dinner. Let’s go?” You nodded and settled down on your bike, thankful that the sky had decided to stop snowing that day. One-handed (so you could hold the drink he got you) you rode beside Namjoon through the streets of Seoul and to a park with a hill, where, the moment the two of you arrived, you secured the bikes and made your view to the panoramic view. 

“This is really nice,” you sighed, astonished, taking in the view in front of you. Skyscraper upon Skyscraper blended into a grey array of buildings and contrasted against the warm tones of the greenery beneath you. Namjoon leaned against the wooden railing after taking off his mask and sighed.

“It’s one of my favourite places to come to,” he said and looked down at you. “I come here to think, read, relax, listen to music… it’s one of the best places in the whole city.” 

“And you’re sharing it with me?” You blushed when he looked at you intensely, his eyes being the most beautiful pair you’ve ever seen.

“I’d like to take you here more often.”

“Are you hungry yet?” Namjoon asked as the two of you started walking back to your bikes. You had spent the last two hours on the hill, talking about his job and your masters degree, with the occasional anecdotes about both of your friends.

You nodded, having felt your stomach rumble for some time now but not having had the heart to interrupt Namjoon’s rant about mint chocolate ice cream. 

“We better get going, then.” The ride to the restaurant was partially spent laughing at his jokes and talking about books, whenever the two of you were silent, you thought about how easy it was to speak to him, forgetting several times that it wasn’t just Namu you were speaking to but Kim Namjoon, as the regular phone calls reminded you. 

“I’m sorry, it’s work,” he had said the first time they had called and you had kindly offered to step back from where you were sitting so he could talk freely but he declined. The call hadn’t lasted long anyway and you had only understood half of what was said. By the time the fourth call had rolled in you were chasing squirrels around the park, not really minding his absence but rather buying some nuts off an old woman and offering them to two children that had wanted to play with the animals.

The thought of the kids aggressively throwing the nuts at the squirrels had you laughing when you arrived at the restaurant. While Namjoon followed the waiter to your table you checked out the portions of the dishes of the neighbouring tables and made a silent note to get ramen from the convenience store when you got back home because you were sure that you wouldn’t get full from whatever they served.

“Don’t worry about the dishes, I just wanted us to get something savoury before we go for churros later,” Namjoon whispered in your ear as he noticed you staring at the food. A shiver ran down your spine at his voice close to you and you prayed to whatever deity was listening that he hadn’t noticed. 

“Ch-churros?” You asked, rather dumbly, as if it was too hard to understand.

“An ice skating date isn’t complete without churros and hot cocoa, Yn.” He laughed and guided you to your seat before sitting down in front of you. 

“Choose whatever you’d like.”

“Slowly Yn!” Namjoon called out but it was too late, you ended up falling on your butt again before he could catch you. 

“Are you hurt?” You shook your head and laughed, grateful that he had told you to pack an extra pair of clothes before you left your house in the afternoon. He pulled you up and balanced you before pulling you with him.

“Just try to slide with your feet. Don’t pretend to run. And hold onto me.” His dimples showed as he smiled at you and the clenching sensation around your stomach showed itself for the thousandth time that day. 

“Good job, see? You can do it. I’m going to let you go now, okay? In 3, 2,” without finishing the countdown he let you go, which was a big mistake because you were still unprepared and fell again, pulling him down with you. 

“Ouch!” You cried out before noticing the weight on you. You held your breath as you looked into Namjoon’s eyes, the same you had only been able to admire from afar until now.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, your breath visible in the cold air.

“It’s okay, Yn,” he said, his voice strangely low but still loud enough for you to hear, as if he was right next to your ear.

Then the two of you stayed silent, merely stared at each other without moving once. And, as if pulled by an invisible thread, your lips clashed, reunited in a short but sweet kiss, but as quick as it happened it also ended and you were quickly on your feet again, being pulled by Namjoon’s strong arms around the rink. 

“It’s really okay if I post this?” You asked for the third time as you flicked through the pictures, finding a picture of Namjoon ice skating that you took while you were resting. You laughed at it as you went back to the one you were talking about.

“You can’t see my face so sure, Yn-ie.” You smiled warmly as you saved it in your favourites.

You were leaning against your bikes in front of your apartment complex, Namjoon’s face being covered again, in case you walked past other people. 

“It’s a shame I can’t follow you with my main account. The kpop drama accounts would have a field trip.” He sighed and looked up at the cloudy night sky. 

“It’s okay, Joonie.”

“Joonie?”

“Well, I can’t keep on calling you tree!” You called out and laughed as realisation struck him.

“I need to go now, thanks for today. I loved it,” you spoke, though your voice came out as silent as a whisper as you remembered your kiss. 

“Me too, Yn.” You turned around to walk towards your door but got pulled back by his strong grasp around your wrist. With a swift motion, he pulled down his mask and lifted your chin so your mouth could meet his. Contrary to your first kiss, this one was longer and deeper, carrying a longing for each other you couldn’t quite understand. It was only when you noticed something cold falling onto your forehead that you parted. 

“Better get in, Yn, it just started snowing.” He smiled, pulled the mask up again and waited for you to make your way into the building, though it took all of your willpower for you to not stay with him.

— as a high-achieving student from a poor background at SNU, your life has been all about studies. apart from your three friends, your time was divided between your dissertation and the independent bookshop you worked at after class. looking forward to buying the most sought-after book you desperately need for your thesis you notice the only way to keep it is to stash away a copy. what happens when your bookshop is a stranger’s last resort of buying the book? and what if your copy was the last one in all of seoul?

A/N hello my lovelies! i hope you’re enjoying it so far, let me know under the posts and in my inbox. you can also private message me anytime! <3 if you want to be added to the taglist you can ask under each post and i’ll make sure to add you! i’m really always up for a chat, so you can hit me up :) x

⟸ m.list ⟹

taglist: @aquaalanah @cuddlemety​ @detectivejjkie​ @lettersfromsalome @poutyoongiiii @secretlycrazyhummingbird

[moonlightkitkat]

“Are you going to yell at me, too? I deserve it.” Félix/Marinette + Lila (Btw Congrats on getting past 100 followers)

Aw thank you so much! I’m so sorry that this took so long to finish! I wanted it to be perfect and i ended up writing a Sick Marinette+ First meeting Felix+ your prompt lol. I hope you enjoy it!

It had been two days since she’d gone to school, having gotten sick from running around Paris while it was raining. While it sucked having a sore throat and a runny nose, she was relieved all the same. Being sick meant that she had the luxury of staying in bed all day, or going downstairs and watching movies while staying all bundled up on the couch. It had given her a much needed reprise from Lila and Chloe and all of the drama at school, for which she was grateful. Alya had come over at lunch and after school to bring her her homework, and she even stayed to help her with her homework. Of course, Marinette needed to wear a sick mask so she wouldn’t cough all over her, but it was nice to just spend time with Alya again. 

Alya had told her all about a new kid in their class, and how absolutely rude he was. “You don’t get it Marinette, he’s not Chloe rude, he’s stuck up rude. Won’t talk to any of us, and whenever we try to talk to him he just ignores up and keeps his nose in his book!” Alya ranted to her as she walked her to school. Since she’d already missed two days of school and she felt back to normal, save for a sore throat and an occasional cough, shed decided that she was okay enough to go back to school. She wore her mask just to be safe, not wanting to get any of her classmates sick. When Alya heard about it, shed taken the responsibility of walking her to school, refusing to let her be late on her first day back.

It was nice, walking to school with her, just being with Alya again and not having Lila around them. Marinette had noticed that Alya hadn’t mentioned Lila once around her, much to her relief. Maybe she had finally realized that Marinette just didn’t like Lila, and gave up on trying to make them be friends. She could only hope that was the case.

“Oh yeah, Lila was sitting in your seat while you were gone, I hope that’s okay.” Ah, there it was. “Really? Why?” She didn’t really care about why, as long as she didn’t have to sit next to her or deal with her trying to take her seat today, but she supposed she might as well let Alya spill whatever it was.

“That guy i told you about, Felix? He was assigned right next to her, and he shoved Lila out of her seat!”Marinette’s eyes widened at the thought of a new kid just randomly shoving someone, but then again, it was Miss No Personal Space Lila, so she couldn’t blame him. “Really? Did you see it happen?”

Alya shook her head, her brow furrowing as she recalled the story. “We were all doing our worksheets in class, and all of a sudden Lila was screaming! When I looked back at her she was on the ground, crying and holding her arm. Poor thing.. She hurt her arm and needed help with writing.. Anyways, she’s terrified of him now, which is why Ms Bustier moved her over with me.”“Did anyone see him push her?”

“Nope. We were all so busy with our work, and she was in the back with him… If he did anything else to her..” Her friend growled, clenching her hand around her phone. 

Looks like she missed out on all of the drama these past two days. She wondered what Felix was really like. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust Alya, but she didn’t know whether or not she believed her considering Lila’s involvement with it all. 

Walking up the steps of the school, Marinette pulled her mask up to cover her nose as she coughed, pausing as she finished her coughing fit, her throat burning by the end of it. A warm hand patted her back, and when she looked up, she saw Nino behind her, offering her a plastic cup of water. 

“Thanks Nino,” she said hoarsely, lowering her mask and accepting the cup, gratefully sipping it, sighing softly as the soreness from her throat fading a little. 

“No problem Mari. You gonna be okay during class?” He asked as he followed them into the school, offering a loving smile to Alya. 

Nodding, Marinette finished her water, tossing the cup into the trash and pulling up her mask. She’d brought some cough drops with her, so she’d be sucking on those during class. They worked like a charm, but she didn’t want to waste one before class started. 

When they walked into the room, all of them jumped in surprise as Lila ran up to Marinette, hugging her tightly and letting out a pitiful wail. “Oh Marinette! Thank goodness you’re here!”

Marinette’s eyes went wide as she was hugged, panicking a little as the girl who had threatened her weeks ago and had been quietly bullying her these past few weeks hugged her tighter and nuzzled her. Seeing her panic, Alya quickly pulled Lila away from her.

“Whoa girl Marinette’s still sick, I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” 

The brunette’s eyes widened, and she quickly moved away as if she had the plague. Even some of the class stiffened, and she suddenly wondered whether coming here was a good idea. 

Clearing her throat, Lila offered a less enthused smile to her. “Marinette, can I ask you a favor?” She asked in a voice so sweet it made her stomach turn. Before she could answer, Lila continued. “There’s a new kid sitting next to me, but i’m really not comfortable sitting next to him… He’s been bullying me.”

The whole class gasped at that, looking up at the empty back row. It seemed Felix has not arrived yet. “Bullying you? What did he do?” Alix growled, standing up and staring down at them, looking like she was ready to murder someone. Alix never did like bullies, and Marinette couldn’t help but wonder how she react if she found out about Lila’s treatment of Marinette. 

Trying not to seem pleased with the attention on herself, Lila shifted almost nervously, glancing at the door and then around the room. “Oh… I really shouldn’t say.. If he finds out I told all of you..”“If he tries anything ill kick his skinny butt!” Kim yelled, the other members of the class muttering in agreement. 

“You’re safe with us Lila, you can tell us,” Mylene added, offering the girl a sweet smile.

Letting out a soft sigh, Lila straightened her posture and smiled up at them. “Thank you all, I’m really lucky to have such a sweet class! Okay. I know you all won’t let anything happen to me.”

After pausing for a few moments, her smile fading to a look of shame. “He didn’t just push me.. He was pinching and kicking me too. He’s been giving me mean notes between classes, and they were so mean i just had to throw them away! He’s even been bullying me online, and I tried blocking him, but he just made another account to keep bullying me!”

She let the class take a minute to roar with fury, all beginning to plot with how to deal with him. “So Marinette, i was wondering if I could sit in your seat, I’m just really not comfortable sitting with him..”

Marinette frowned, looking up at the classroom, seeing several open seats. “But..” She croaked, wincing as her throat burned. Turning away from Lila, she started coughing again, bending over and taking a few shaky breaths as it ended. “There’s other seats,” She whispered, the only way she could without her throat is hurting.

Lila pouted, sniffling and looking anxiously around the room. “But I want to sit next to Alya, i feel safer with her here.”

Looking back up at the open seats, she pointed to the seat behind her. “Ivan?”

Shaking her head, Lila stepped closer to Alya,wrapping her arms around herself. “Please Marinette? I really don’t want to be near him. Besides, should you really be sitting behind Adrien when he’s sick? He needs to keep his health up for modeling!”

To her dismay, when she looked over at Adrien for some support, he shifted nervously in his seat, staring at her feet in shame. “I… I really can’t get sick Marinette… If i do, my dad might take me out of school…”

She stared at him in shock, her eyes wide with disbelief. She could understand why he didn’t want her to sit behind him, but it still hurt. 

A loud sigh came from behind her, making her jump. “You’re blocking the way,”an unfamiliar voice said dryly. Jumping out of the way, Marinette looked up, her eyes meeting a pair of blue grey eyes. 

Sighing again, he looked her up and down. “I take it youre my new deskmate?” Offering a small nod, he glanced at Lila before gesturing for Marinette to follow him. Lowering her head in disappointment, Marinette followed him to the back, sitting in the aisle seat. Setting her bag on the ground, she reached into her pocket and pulled out a cough drop, popping it into her mouth. 

She sat there in silence, her heart pounding nervously. The silence between them was uncomfortable, neither of them having introduced themselves. It wasn’t that Marinette didn’t want to per say, but her throat was too sore for her to manage. Just breathing hurt, but the cough drop helped immensely. 

She felt Felix’s eyes on her, and she stiffened, chewing her lip as he looked over her. “So, are you afraid of me too?” he asked quietly, and Marinette paused. 

Was she scared of him? She asked herself, unsure whether or not she was. Reaching into her bag, she went to pull out her notebook, and he sighed softly as she ignored his question.

Felix was certainly surprised when he walked into class today, seeing a new target for Rossi to harass. He’d quietly listened in, staying out of the class’s view, wondering who the small girl with pigtails was. Apparently this was the friend of the liar’s true seat partner, and Lila was just interested in stealing her seat, spreading more rumors about him it seemed.

He didn’t care for liars. Living with a father who was well centered in politics made it difficult for him to stomach them. He’d read the tabloids, the headlines accusing his father of an affair with a woman who wasn’t his mother. Others read of child abuse, or his father cheating, seeing other mistresses. All were untrue. Seeing strangers lie about his family, a family they knew nothing about, and involving a child into the drama, it had made him wary of opening up to anyone, afraid that they’d manipulate him like they did his father. 

This girl seemed to be wary of Rossi as well, and not as prone to believing Rossi’s claims. She’d seemed rather suspicious when she spoke, and when the class started to gang up on her, that’s when he chose to make his entrance. He didn’t mean to spook the girl, but at least she didn’t start a coughing fit. 

When he sat down, he was surprised that the girl actually followed him. Surely her friends had spread some rumors about him didn’t they?

Looking at the girl up and down, he could definitely tell she was still sick. Her forehead was a little clammy, and her eyes were red and slightly puffy. She looked tired, but whether or not that was from being sick, or talking to Rossi, he didn’t know. The girl was so stiff next to him, and he frowned, feeling something in his chest grow heavy at how scared she looked. “So, are you scared of me too?” He asked quietly, wondering why he was even bothering him. He never cared about what people thought of him before, so why now? 

To his surprise, she completely ignored him! She instead turned away from him, fiddling with her backpack, her hair falling over her shoulders as she leaned over. Sighing softly, he shook his head, opening his book to read, wondering why he’d even bothered asking her. 

Out of the corner of his eye he saw her pull out a pen and notebook, flipping it open, the sounds of the pen clicking and then scribbling on the paper filled the quiet air. He tried to ignore her, but the notebook came into view as she pushed it over to him. The stubborn part of him wanted to ignore it, and for a little while it won out. He managed to pretend not to see it, but the longer he ignored him, the more curiosity ate at him, and eventually he looked down to read the note. 

I’m not afraid of you, just a little overwhelmed. I’m Marinette, sorry for having to write this down, my throat really hurts :(

So she wasn’t ignoring him when she went down to her bag. Picking up the pen she offered, he wrote back to her. Didn’t your friends over there talk about me?

He watched the girl glance down at the group at the front, Lila’s laughter filling the air as she leaned over to Alya, excitedly telling her something. Well… they did.. But I don’t believe anything Lila says. If she said that you pushed her, she probably forced herself to fall.

So she wasn’t trapped in Rossi’s web of lies. That was probably why Rossi was so eager to choose her out of everyone in the class to switch seats with, even though there were several free seats available to her. He’d wondered why she had been so determined to switch seats with her.

He wondered just what this girl could’ve done in order to upset the girl, though considering Rossi had claimed bullying just because he refused to talk to her and fawn over her like the others, he suspected that it didn’t take much to get on her bad side. 

What did you do that made Rossi so upset with you? he wrote on the notebook, watching as her brow furrowed at the question before lighting up in recognition.

Lila? Oh nothing, unless you count telling her to quit lying to my friends and telling her that I would tell them all about her lies if she didn’t stop. Why don’t you believe her lies? She pouted as she wrote this, her brow furrowing.

So Rossi was threatened by Marinette, interesting. He wondered what on earth this girl who smelled strongly of freshly baked bread and desserts who was barely as tall as his shoulder could have managed to do in order to make the girl feel threatened by her. 

She claimed to know my father. My father doesn’t take the time to entertain young girls with big mouths. She also claimed to be related to a famous writer and lots of other great celebrities. Anyone with any sense, or at least a humble bone in their body, would not so openly share these with a stranger. I can recognize a liar when I see one. Boasting connections is what weak, scared children do, not truly powerful and well known figures. I should add that this is only true part of the time. There are many celebrities who boast about their connections and riches shamelessly.

Like Chloe?

A soft chuckle escaped him, and he nodded, sparing a glance down to the blonde in the front row, staring daggers into the side of Rossi’s face as she tried to get Adrien’s attention.

Precisely. I doubt either of them are too different. If neither was threatened by the other, or as petty, im certain those two would have teamed up already. Neither of them are smart enough for that though.

To his surprise, Marinette giggled at that. It was low and deep, a sign that it truly did hurt her throat in order to speak, and that she had most likely lost her voice. Nonetheless, he couldn’t help but smile. 

Before they could continue their conversation however, Ms. Bustier walked into class, calling their attention to the front. The two continued to write on a piece of paper that Marinette tore out of her book so they could continue to chat, and Felix was surprised that he was looking forward to each note she wrote. She was the first person who didn’t hate him in the class, and he appreciated that. It seemed the two were alone together in the class, the only two not under Rossi’s spell, and the only two who dared to speak against her, even if he was the only one who could talk at the moment. 

Perhaps it was that silence, and that they had both had to put the effort into writing their responses, able to skip the dreaded smalltalk and have a real conversation, that had made Felix warm up. Or perhaps, it was far too early to tell, and she would only use him too.

When lunch came, Marinette had been whisked away by Alya, much to hers and Felix’s dismay. She’d barely been able to grab her bag and purse, Tikki napping inside, before the reporter had grabbed her wrist and stormed out of the classroom, fussing about how Marinette needed to go home and rest during the break. Marinette couldn’t even protest against being kidnapped! Her throat hurt too much, and all that came out were pitiful noises and croaks that just made her throat hurt. Before she knew it, she was seated on the couch, bundled in a pile of warm blankets that threatened to pull her under and sleep for eternity, and a mug of warm soup that her mother had made for her. Despite her earlier protests, she realized just how exhausted she felt now. she managed to eat half of the soup and place it on the table before she promptly passed out in her burrow of blankets, utterly exhausted and in desperate need of a nap. 

Who knew that a nap could do so much for someone? When she woke up, she was all cozy in her cocoon of blankets, feeling better than she had earlier today, and much more calm and relaxed. It was hard not to relax when you were curled up on a comfy couch, all bundled up, with a small Kwami stroking your hair softly as she gently woke her up.

“Marinette,” she cooed in a gentle tone that was similar to her maman’s whenever she was sick when she was little. “Class is in half an hour, do you want to stay here and continue to rest?” It seemed that Marinette skipping school was only okay if it was when she was sick. 

Shaking her head, she yawned, stretching out and looking up at the tinu kwami. She really should go back to school, she didn’t want to miss anymore this week. Besides, she just had a nap, she should be able to last the rest of the day. Tikki gave her a worried look when she wrote this down on her notes app, and Marinette offered to leave early if she was feeling sick later. Satisfied with this compromise, Tikki flew to her shoulder, hiding behind her pigtail while Marinette got ready for classes.

Alya was gone when she woke up. According to Tikki, she’d left not long after Marinette fell asleep. She didn’t blame Alya for this, she wouldn’t want to just watch her friend sleep for an hour either. Besides, she was probably cuddling with Nino back at school. ‘It must be nice to have a boyfriend,’ she sighed softly, her thoughts drifting to a certain blond. She was still upset with him though. He hadn’t stuck up for him, even though they were friends. While she understood his concerns, she was still hurt that he didn’t speak up earlier when LIla tried to steal her seat.

Her thoughts spread to another blond as she walked to school, bundled up in her jacket and scarf, munching on crackers as she crossed the street. Felix seemed nice, even if the whole school thought otherwise. Marinette knew how it felt to have the class against you, to feel like everyone was out to get you, and that you were alone. It helped at first, having Adrien there with her, knowing that she wasn’t alone, that there was someone who could help her, stick up for her. To her dismay though, the model hadn’t done anything close to that, simply avoiding her gaze during any confrontation, and coming up to her afterwards to try and smooth things over. She frowned at the memories of all their talks, how Adrien tried to be the peaceful mediator to someone who isn’t interested in anything other than making her life miserable. 

Felix though.. He seemed different, and she could only hope that it wasn’t her wishful thinking that brought up these thoughts. He knew right away that Lila was lying, and had taken action, even if it was just telling her to follow him. Still, he had been kind to her, and it had been a long time since she’d felt such kindness. To show her appreciation, she’d brought a box of treats for him, carried in a plastic bag that her maman had placed it in, so it was germ free. Since she didn’t know what he liked, she had requested for one of each cookie type, and her parents were all too happy to accept her request.

Hopeful that Felix would like her gift, she walked into the school, stunned to see her classmates all circled around the very blonde she was hoping to see. He had a neutral, almost bored expression on his face, but she noticed the way his hand tightened around the strap of his bag, betraying his nervousness. It wasn’t like she had to walk close to hear what was going on, her classmates yelling accusations of him hurting Lila. 

Frowning, she made her way to the group, pulling up her mask as she neared them. “Seriously that’s not cool dude,” Nino shook his head in disgust. “If i hear that you treated Mari like this…”

A new wave of anger rippled around the group at this, and a small bubble of pride and happiness swelled in her chest at them protecting her. If only they were protecting her from Lila, and not her friend. She tried to speak up, but no sound came from her. Wincing, she forgot that she couldn’t speak yet, and went to unwrap another cough drop, only for Kim to bump into her, knocking it from her hands. “Whoa what the!” Turning around, Kim’s brown eyes met hers, and she offered a small wave. “Oh! Sorry Marinette, I didn’t know you were there..”

The class quickly turned their attention to her, all suddenly going quiet, sheepishly waving before leaving the circle, sending dirty looks at Felix as they fall retreated to the class. It seemed that now that she was here, they weren’t as willing to threaten and gang up on Felix, which was a relief

“What… are you here to yell at me too?”

Felix sounded tired, he sounded so tired.What had they been saying to him? How long had they been doing this?

Frowning, she shook her head, pulling out her phone and typing out a message before showing him. I couldn’t yell at you even if I tried, which i don’t want to do. Are you okay?

The tension seemed to leave his shoulders, and he offered her a small nod. “I’m fine. Are you feeling better?”

Yup! I napped all of lunch, but I still wish i was sleeping if I’m honest with you.

“That’s good. So, shall we head to class?” 

Glancing at the clock on the wall, she frowned. But there’s still ten minutes left. Did you eat yet?

Now it’s his turn to look sheepish, and he shook his head. “Our classmates.. Kept me busy im afraid. I’ll be alright without a meal though.”

Well that wouldn’t do! Shaking her head, she pocketed her phone, and took him by the hand, dragging him over to the bench under the stairs before rummaging through her backpack. 

“Marinette, you don’t have to-” she pulled up a granola bar and a croissant, relieved she’d had some in her bag. Tikki must have slipped it in, which meant there was definitely chocolate inside. If only she’d managed to heat it up..

When he didn’t take it, she frowned, and held them out to him, motioning for him to take it. After a few seconds of hesitation he took the treats from her, looking down at them before looking back at her. “Are you certain?”

Smiling brightly, she nodded her head, and he relented, taking a bite of the croissant. His eyes widened as he swallowed, and he quickly ate the rest of the treat. Satisfied, Marinette leaned back against the bench, closing her eyes and relaxing while he ate his makeshift lunch. 

After a few minutes she heard a happy sigh, and she knew he was done. She waited until the bell rang to open her eyes though, enjoying the quiet peace. Sighing, she reluctantly stood up, following Felix into the class, ignoring everyone’s glares at the blonde. Taking her seat, she pulled out her notebook, flipping to a clean page. Don’t worry about them, I’m not going to let them do that again. I’ll talk to them and tell them what you’re really like, or at least that you are a lot nicer than they think. 

A small smile spread on Felix’s face as he read the note, and he pulled out a pen to write with. Thank you Marinette. At least you’re on my side.

She smiled brightly at that, and was so happy that she’d managed to befriend Felix. It was nice knowing that someone was on her side, and it was nice having someone to talk to. Perhaps sitting in the back wasn’t as bad as she’d first feared. The sound of pen hit paper caught her attention, and she looked down as he slid the notebook over, snorting at what she read.

So, do you always carry spare croissants in your backpack?

[gaknar]

Review: The Claremont Crossovers

Geez, I haven’t written a review for this blog since my Secret Wars review from like 17 years ago. How can that be? Well, I guess I used to work on this blog a lot more often and now I’ve gotten way more into Super Nintendo games and BDSM. Like a lot of people. But now that I finally finished reading Inferno, it is time once again to bookend my experience with an overly wordy wall of text filled with the worst kind of oblivious meninist butt humor jokes and pretentious sounding run-on sentences that are trying to sound smart but are always improperly ended with prepositions of. And lots of ridiculous comic book panels.

These are only the silliest panels from this reading that I could find after looking for about 25 seconds.

Bookeeping. This review covers everything that I have read since X-Factor #1. This includes Uncanny X-Men #204-243, X-Factor #1-39, New Mutants #38-73, along with a smattering of annuals, Daredevil, Power Pack, Fantastic Four, Spider-Man, Excalibur, and X-Terminators comics that were all part of the Mutant Massacre, Fall of the Mutants, and Inferno crossovers. There were a lot of developments over the course of the 4 years these comics were published. Jean Grey was resurrected and the original members of the X-Men reformed under the moniker X-Factor.

Mr. Sinister formed his band of evil mutants, the Marauders, who would become the X-Men’s main antagonists, and their most devious act would include committing mutant genocide against the Morlocks in the New York City sewers while dealing critical wounds to main X-Men team members Kitty Pryde, Nightcrawler, and Colossus during the fight.

Later, the X-Men were seemingly killed in a struggle with the mystical being known as the Adversary, but in reality they went into hiding in their new Australian outback base.

Illyana Rasputin lost control of the hell dimension Limbo which led to a demon invasion of Manhattan.

And finally, perhaps most prominently, Cyclops left his wife Madelyne Pryor and their son to get back together with Jean Grey, an act that led Madelyne to become corrupted with Pheoenix Force power and to turn into the Goblin Queen.

This era of X-Men comics contains the first major crossovers between the main X-Men comic book and its spinoffs. These events would become common as Marvel found ways to use its more strongly published works to carry the weaker ones, and the ploy still works apparently since here I am 30 years later reading 500 page omnibus collections just because there are 4 or 5 absolutely killer X-Men comic books in them. I love the X-Men so much that I’m willing to wade through the unending buildup to get the most out of the climaxes.

Seriously this artwork.

However, I find that this style of editing leads to a peculiar trend in pacing that can be tough to recover from in-between the major storylines. As Mutant Massacre leads into Fall of the Mutants, which then leads into Inferno, the characters are faced with consistently increasing stakes. With each passing story line, casualties grow and become more grave, and the consequences are more lasting. Mutant Massacre starts with the genocide of a mutant community, and several main characters are critically wounded as the X-Men face the worst defeat they’ve ever experienced. Then a year later in Fall of the Mutants, just as the team is starting to recover, the entire team of X-Men is killed during their battle against the Adversary. They would immediately be resurrected as a reward for sacrificing themselves to save the world, but it is still a defeat that claims the lives of every member of the team, if only for a moment. By the time we get to Inferno, the world is literally ending. Demons are raining from the sky and regular people are straight up getting slaughtered in the streets and elevators as the X-Men are more or less helpless to stop the destruction.

Inferno is an amazing storyline, if only for all the scenes of inanimate objects coming to life and straight up eviscerating common folk who are just minding their own business. Look at this shit!!! How did the comics code of conduct ever approve this. A mob of people just packed themselves into a demon FOOD PROCESSOR and every inch of them was liquefied except their bones. Chilling. (And let’s just forget about how the writers retconned all this blood orgy stuff in the Inferno Epilogue).

This all works in a capitalistic sense. Constantly raise the stakes and don’t let up for a second because if you do, the reader will take their eyes off the page and you will lose money. But the problem is, you can’t do this forever. And if you try, eventually you are going to write yourself into a corner where you’ve raised the stakes so many times, and you’ve re-manufactured the drama so often, people will stop caring. I call this the Dragon Ball effect.

How many times have these characters become gods at this point? Like three movies ago, the most recent movie was literally called “Battle of Gods.” I’m not even watching Super. Once your characters get so far away from humanistic stories people can relate to, you are no longer creating art. You’re manufacturing sensationalism. And it gets boring. These guys are starting to look like different flavors of freezie pops.

Maybe this is why the X-Men comics that come after this, the comics that make up the last leg of writer Chris Claremont’s 17 year run on the series, become so weird. Because perhaps there was no way to continue to raise the stakes any higher. After this point, we don’t get any more big crossovers until X-Tinction Agenda, but even that story is small and quaint when compared to what is presented here. Wolverine completely disappears from the series, all our other favorite characters disappear into the Seige Perilous to be transformed into completely different versions of themselves, and we get a lot of surreal stories that don’t have any sort of climax in the way that we’ve been conditioned to expect. The series becomes murky and ambiguous, without a solid narrative arc, and I think that’s why people regard the end of Chris Claremont’s writing on the series to be the weakest part of his run.

I can’t wait to read the X-Men comics that are coming up next. Because I didn’t know what in the FUCK was going on in these comics when I was a kid and I’m hoping they make more sense now.

Anyway, I’ll be the judge of all that, once I get there. (I may even indulge in the Infinity Gauntlet omnibus because, you know, there’s a couple X-Men involved in that). But regardless of what comes after this, I think it’s also true that the crossovers presented in this reading are generally regarded with less respect than Chris Claremont’s earlier work on the series, such as the Dark Phoenix Saga and Days of Future Past. This I don’t agree with. While the stories in this reading do range in quality, with Fall of the Mutants definitely being the weakest of the three big crossovers, and even though the Uncanny X-Men portion of Inferno isn’t even the central story of that crossover (the critical story elements take place in the far inferior issues of New Mutants and <ugh> X-Terminators written by Louise Simonson), Claremont’s writing is still much stronger, more layered, and more elegant than anything else that is presented in these collections. These crossovers may not be as timeless or original as the most famous X-Men stories, but the writing here is still really darn good and engaging (at least in Uncanny X-Men), and in my opinion, does not represent a decline in aptitude on the part of the writer. It’s clear that Claremont’s writing has continued to mature and become more nuanced, so much so that when you compare it to the first issues he wrote for the series, it seems like he’s a completely different writer.

KALIDASCOPICALLY. Again, these were just the silliest panels I could find after looking for about 25 seconds.

Personally, I love this period of X-Men comics. Under Claremont’s executive control, no plot thread gets dropped. No minor detail goes disregarded. Characters continue to grow and develop at such a natural pace, sometimes it feels like my own life is developing right alongside theirs. This adds depth to these readings and I can’t describe how it feels to be a part of them, and I think it’s this element that is missing from so many other comic books written by so many other comic book writers, including nearly every X-Men story written after Chris Claremont left the series.

Case in point, there are so many minor recurring characters that appear in these stories, like Franklin Richards. (I seriously tear up every time I see these panels). This little guy bounces around the Power Pack, the X-Men, and the Fantastic Four like a ping pong ball. He’s a key character in the story line where Kitty Pryde finally recovers from the wounds she suffered during Mutant Massacre. And even though Kitty and Franklin have only met each other a few times, those meetings have meaning and they are remembered and called upon in the telling of the current story. All of the efforts made by the writers and editors to keep the narrative linked make these characters seem like real life people with weight and substance, rather than a thin layer of ink on a piece of paper. And it totally works.

Ugh, this review turned into another circle jerk about the writers of these comics, and especially about Chris Claremont. But what can I say. It’s because of the writers that we are here. Love or hate these comics, and I know Claremont’s wordy scripts are not everyone’s cup of tea, but these are the stories that make the X-Men what they are. It’s tough to be aware of these things when you’re in the middle of reading them, but I’m having the absolute best time writing this blog right now, and it is primarily because these are the comics that resonate with me the most. And when I’m finished with Claremont’s material and I’m slogging through some crap written by Chuck Austen, I bet I’m going to look back on these days with envy.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hey! I was wondering if you could recommend me some johnlock fanfics, smut (better if there is one based on the scene of TSoT when Sherlock and John were drunk) but short, just to read like in and hour or kind of. I have never read one so waiting for you answer!

Hi NONNY OMG I’M SO SORRY!!!

You’ve been waiting a long time and I LEGIT just found this post in my inbox. I’m so sorry!!!

AHHHHH okay, ah, you just reminded me that I need to do my “Johnlock for Newcomers” fic recs that I was asked for AGES ago, and because the previous asks were for non-smut, I’m going to use this opportunity to do the SMUT ONES. But I’ve a lot, so…. let’s go with shorter fics, since you want quick reads!!

Ah, this is exciting, and I hope that you are still around and I am SO SORRY for being a dick and missing this ask…. it’s giving me something for today’s Fic Rec Sunday because I didn’t have any other long lists ready so YAY.

Hope you enjoy, and let me know if you need anything else!!

These are just my suggestions for what a newcomer may enjoy :)

I also have these lists for you too if you’re looking for some other Short Reads:

MY LISTS:

Ten Fave Short Johnlock Fics (Easy Reads April 2018)

Fics Under 2000 w. 

Fics Under 2000 w. Pt. 2

Hurt / Comfort Pt. 1: Under 5K Words

Morning Sex (Short Fics)

Short Fluff and Pure Love (Masterpost)

Angry Sex Shorter Fics (Masterpost)

OTHERS’ LISTS:

Quick Reads Before Bed (Alexx)

Short Porny Fics (Alexx)

Other People’s Faves 2018: Short Fics / Self Recs (swissmissficrecs)

JOHNLOCK FOR NEWCOMERS (E-RATED / SMUT) Pt. 1 

UNDER 20K WORDS

Caught by Salambo06 (E, 1,859 w., 1 Ch. || Frottage, First Time / Kiss, Bed Sharing, Wet Dreams, POV John, Masturbation) – A hotel room. They’re here for a case, hadn’t planned to spend the night and ended up sharing a room. No, sharing a bed. Suddenly John is very much aware of his own hand closed around his hard cock and the ragged breathing next to him. Closing his eyes for the briefest second, John dares to turn his head just enough to confirm what he already knows. Sherlock, on his side, watching him.

A Study in Lace by KarlyAnne (E, 2,320 w., 1 Ch. || Est. Rel., Crafty Sherlock, Tiny Lace Panties / Lingerie, Domestics, Experiments, Oral, Masturbation) – “Why do you suppose he was doing that?” “Why do I suppose who was doing what?” “The room. The lace. The secrecy. He was playing with fire in everything he did, and didn’t care one bit. But he had a secret chamber, carefully concealed, solely for the purpose of making lace lingerie. Obviously for personal use. Why?“ Part 1 of The Unintentional Crafts of Sherlock Holmes

Where You Are by Mazarin221b (E, 2,478 w., 1 Ch. || Beach Sex, First Time, Fluff, Smut, Holidays, Pining) – He can admit he’s secretly a little glad Sherlock didn’t come with him. He needs a break. Sherlock is a handful at the best of times, and the near-constant apologizing, fixing, dealing-with, and following up on is exhausting. The near-constant unrequited attraction is a bit exhausting, too, to be honest, and John could really use a tiny bit of rest from the relentless hammering on his brain and heart.

What He’s Like by magikspell (E, 2,919 w., 1 Ch. || Love Confessions, Fluff, First Time, Inexperienced Sherlock) – Realistic first time. They love each other so much.

Pillow Talk by 221b_hound (E, 2,925 w., 1 Ch. || Post-HLV, Est. Rel., Preening Sherlock, Limpet Sherlock, Frottage, Hand Jobs, Sex on Furniture, Scent Kink, Masturbation, Fluff, Soft Sherlock) – John gets home late from work and Sherlock is nowhere to be seen. John walks through the flat, distracted by memories of all the excellent sex they’ve been having, and finally finds Sherlock asleep in the upstairs room - apparently having fallen asleep mid-wank while inhaling the scent of John’s pillow. Well, you should always finish what you start, John thinks… Part 3 of Lock and Key

Bathroom Accessories by Evenlodes_Friend (E, 3,324 w., 1 Ch. || Sex Toys, Butt Plug, First Kiss / Time, Romance, Horny Sherlock, John’s Patience Wears Thin, Humour, Bottomlock) – John discovers that Sherlock has been playing with some very adult toys in the bath.

Come home. by hudders-and-hiddles (huddersandhiddles) (E, 3,763 w., 1 Ch. || Texting / Sexting, Lonely Sherlock, Nude Photos, Pining, Fluff & Smut) – When John leaves for a medical conference, Sherlock tries to entice him back home.

Happy anniversary by Salambo06 (E, 3,772 w., 1 Ch. || Est. Rel., Vulnerable Sherlock, Wedding Anniversary, Anal, Texting, Lingerie) – John inhaled deeply, feeling his cock pulse under the silk gown, and he let his eyes travel on the lean body in front of him. Sherlock was kneeling on the bed, their bed, and the picture had been taken so John could perfectly see his bare chest and pelvis. But what mattered most, what made John harden rather quickly, was the pair of panties Sherlock was wearing in the picture. Black, string over each hip and laces that outlined Sherlock’s erect cock barely hidden under the soft underwear.

Coldness/Heat by agirlsname (E, 3,790 w., 1 Ch. || Cuddling & Snuggling, Body Heat, New Year’s Eve, PWP, Bedsharing, Frottage) – The inn is booked up on New Year’s Eve. The train home is cancelled because of the snow. The only option is to sleep in the non-heated guest room of a client, and John and Sherlock are freezing.You know where this is going. Part 1 of New Year’s Kiss

Upon Waking by joolabee (E, 3,901 w., 1 Ch. || Mild Dub Con, Magical Realism, Angst, Somnophilia) – It sets on slow: John can only be awake while Sherlock sleeps, and vice versa. Their lives are codependent, but never meeting. Like a set of scales.

Love and Hair Dye by WhimsicalEthnographies (E, 3,920 w., 1 Ch. || Est. Rel., Body Worship, Self Conscious John, Voyeurism, Idiots in Love, Smutty Smut) – Self conscious John decides to cover the greys on his head, and the colour isn’t what he thought it would be. Now he’s more self-conscious than ever.

Someone Else’s Heart by thisprettywren (E, 4,188 w., 1 Ch. || First Time, H/C, POV Sherlock, Caretaking John, Pining Idiots) – A crime scene, a rainstorm, and something they both should have known all along.

See Recipe for Details by pandoras_chaos (E, 4,981 w., 1 Ch. || Oral / Anal Sex, Food, PWP, Fingerfucking) – John knows Sherlock’s mouth will never water over the sweet smells of baking chocolate biscuits or a lovely roast chicken, but he’s watched Sherlock nick mince pies out of Mrs. Hudson’s fridge often enough to deduce that the man does have taste, albeit confusing and obscure. So John makes a list: Things Sherlock Likes

Every Little Thing by the_beekeeper_of_sussex (E, 5,066 w., 2 Ch. || First Time / Kiss, Fluff, Frottage, Come as Lube, Embarassed Sherlock, Porn With Feelings) – When Sherlock walks in on John making tea wearing nothing but a tight pair of boxer-briefs things get a little heated…physically and emotionally.

Nothing So Sweet by alexxphoenix42 (E, 5,275 w., 1 Ch. || Shopkeeper AU || Beekeeping, Sussex, Alternate First Meeting, Awkward First Time Sex, Self-Consciousness / Body Insecurity, Fluff, Hand Jobs) – In an alternate universe, Sherlock is busy keeping to himself, tending his bees, and selling lovely jars of honey when a soldier limps into his life quite unexpectedly. Part 1 of The Sweetest Things

a very soft epilogue (my love) by darcylindbergh (E, 5,395 w., 3 Ch. || Retirement, Domestic Fluff, Dancing, Dogs, Grumpy Old Men) – Across the pillows, Sherlock shifts and hums, the creases of his face deepening and then smoothing before settling. John watches him wake up, his chest swelling with affection and fondness, and thinks he’ll never get tired of Sherlock in the mornings, sleepy and soft. It’s been some forty-odd years, and John hasn’t gotten tired of it yet. Part 5 of things fairy tales are made of

Caffeine and Adaptive Programming by DemonicSymphony (E, 5,540 w., 1 Ch. || Androids AU / Bond Fusion || Android Sherlock, Coffee Shop AU, Pining John Hinted Bond / Q, Toplock) – Sherlock is a coffee shop android slowly falling for a regular customer. But he’s not supposed to be able to feel emotions.

Tease You Till You Come by phoenix089 (E, 6,090 w., 1 Ch. || First Time, Clueless Sherlock, Sexting/Texting) – Initially, Sherlock was rather put out by John’s lack of presence on the case. But then he starts to receive pictures, several of them, of an unexpected nature. The case is forgotten rather quickly after that.

My First, My Only, and My Forever by vintagelilacs (E, 6,220 w., 1 Ch. || Post-ASiB, Virgin Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Sherlock’s Bum, John’s Scar, Sherlock POV, Body Worship, Fingering, Bottomlock, Promise of Forever / Proposals, Misunderstanding, First Kiss/Time, Loss of Virginity, Virginity Kink, Seduction) – Sherlock narrowed his eyes. He was missing a vital piece of data, he was sure. John had been looking at him oddly ever since they left Buckingham Palace, and the ensuing incident with Irene Adler had only exacerbated his erratic behaviour. What was it? Why would he care that Sherlock was a virgin? There was nothing reminiscent of mockery or pity in his gaze. And then it hit him. John Watson was aroused.

Just a Touch by MissDavis (E, 6,248 w., 4 Ch. || Bed Sharing, Masturbation, First Time/Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Sharing a Room) – John has trouble falling asleep these days. There’s one thing he can do that always seems to help, but he’s stuck in this hotel room with Sherlock and doesn’t think he’ll get the chance. How will he ever find relief and a good night’s sleep?

The Effect of Memory by testosterone_tea (E, 6,430 w., 1 Ch. || Praise Kink, First Kiss / Time, Fluff, Smut, Virgin Sherlock, Love Confessions, Confused Sherlock) – John has temporary amnesia coming off of anaesthesia after an operation and not only does he not recognize Sherlock, he starts flirting with him! After John recovers, he doesn’t remember the incident at all. But Sherlock does. Confusion ensues.

The Death of Doubt by Gingerhermit (E, 6,584 w., 1 Ch. || Alternate Canon, BAMF John, POV Sherlock, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Hurt/Comfort, Angst/Drama, Meddling Mycroft) – Mycroft asks for John’s help in rescuing Sherlock from his Serbian captors.

An Interpretation of Viewing Habits by akitsuko (E, 6,653 w., 1 Ch. || Porn Watching, Masturbation, Anal, Friends to Lovers, First Kiss / Time, Declarations of Love, Jealous Sherlock, Fantasizing, John in Denial / Internalized Homophobia, Bottomlock, Pining Idiots, Sherlock Has No Boundaries, Cockblocking Sherlock) – John watches porn. It’s a perfectly normal thing to do. If every video he watches happens to feature actors with remarkable physical similarities to his flatmate, well, that’s no one’s business but his own. Or: John is in denial, until his infatuation with Sherlock is impossible to deny anymore.

Fa Subito by kim47 (E, 6,659 w., 1 Ch. || Suit Porn, Cockblocker Mycroft, Obsessed Sherlock, PWP) – John wears a suit. Sherlock finds it extremely distracting.

Inside by magikspell (E, 6,757 w., 1 Ch. || Loss of Virginity, Anal / Rimming, Fluff, Humour, Awkwardness, Shy Sherlock, Bottomlock) – "Being inside someone. Feeling someone inside you.”

Abatement by WhimsicalEthnographies (E, 6,816 w., 1 Ch. || Est. Rel., Retirementlock, Fluff, Sherlock’s Self Esteem, Grumpy Sherlock, Idiots in Love, PWP, Fluff and Smut, Bottomlock) – “What’s wrong with you? You love the cottage,” John glances over to the passenger seat, then quickly turns his eyes back to the road. Driving was still not his forte, but considering Sherlock still couldn’t properly bend and lift his new knee enough to press and release the clutch, he had to make do. Not that Sherlock hadn’t tried to argue his way into the driver’s seat. “I love the cottage for a week or two, John. Don’t be deliberately obstuse,” Sherlock grumbles, sinking further in his seat. Well, as best he can with a four-week-old knee replacement. “And that’s all we’re going for, love,” John says out loud. But what he’s thinking is, shit. He knows.

Full Disclosure by Itsallfine (E, 7,032 w., 1 Ch. || Bars & Pubs, Fake Relationship, First Kiss / Time, Love Confessions, John’s Army Mates, Three Continents Watson, Semi-Public Sex) – John’s army mates get together for the first time post-discharge and invite John “Three Continents” Watson to join them. If John shows up alone, he knows he’ll be the object of non-stop ridicule all night. Sherlock plays along. John tests the waters.

Of Razors, Pipes, Red Notebooks and Rugby Jerseys, Or: Sherlock Doesn’t Like His Doctors Clean Shaven by allonsys_girl (E, 7,313 w., 1 Ch. || Est. Rel., PWP / Porn With Feelings, John’s Beard / Beard Kink, Roleplay, Love Declarations, Banter, Rimming, Anal, Domestic Fluff / Bliss, Idiots in Love, Emotional Lovemaking, Pet Names, Obsessive Sherlock, Sherlock POV, Bottomlock, Cranky Sherlock) – John grows a beard. Sherlock really likes it. Part 1 of Consulting Husbands

I can’t pretend by Salambo06 (E, 7,692 w., 1 Ch. || Fake Relationship, Victor Trevor, Jealous John, Miscommunications, Bed Sharing, Love Confessions, First Kiss/Time, Anal, BJs) – They had arrived more than a hour ago, and the moment they had walked inside the hotel reception, John had understood why Sherlock hadn’t wanted to come. Two men, posh suits and expensive watches on their wrists, had come to greet them with sharp remarks and badly hidden mockery, and John had seen red. Sherlock hadn’t said anything, mostly ignoring the two men entirely, and without thinking twice about it, John had slid an arm around Sherlock’s waist and introduced himself as his husband.

My Life for His by QuinnAnderson (E, 8,816 w., 1 Ch. || Guardian/Protector, Greek Mythology || Growing Up, Sex, Religious Themes, Suicide, Minor Character Death) – It began when Sherlock was eight, and he attempted to climb all the way up to the highest branch in the old willow tree in his back garden. He’d thought he was still small enough that it could support him, but the second he’d grabbed hold of it to pull himself up, the branch snapped, and down he went, plummeting a solid twenty metres.The odd thing was, he never actually hit the ground.

With This Ring by Quesarasara (E, 9,121 w., 1 Ch. || Est. Rel., Marriage Proposal, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Idiots in Love, Embarrassing Hospital Visits) – Sometimes even the best of plans go wrong. And sometimes wrong turns out to be exactly right.

Inked in Memory by 221b_hound (E, 9,716 w., 2 Ch. || Post-HLV, Tattoos, First Kiss / Time, Anal, Cuddling, Scars, Captain John, Kissing, Switchlock) – John has been back at Baker Street for a year, following the debacle that ended in Mary’s death. Things are good. Back almost to what they used to be. Sherlock might wish they were something else, now, but he only has himself to blame, he thinks. It’s too late, now, for the things he first denied before he’d ruined any chances he might have had. Sherlock also thinks that people who get tattoos are idiots. But perhaps he’s about to learn a thing or two, not least of which might be it’s not as late as he thinks it is. Part 1 of Lock and Key

Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder by cypress_tree (E, 10,669 w., 1 Ch. || UST/RST, For an Experiment) – John helps Sherlock with an experiment: for an entire month, they are not allowed to touch each other and must remain at least one metre apart at all times.

Of Course I Forgive You by allonsys_girl (E, 10,735 w., 1 Ch. || Love Confessions, Canon Divergence, First Time, Frottage, Wall Sex, Infidelity) – What if things had gone differently on that train car?

Iris by slashscribe (E, 11,948 w., 1 Ch. || Parentlock, Pining Sherlock, Post-S3) – Sherlock does his best to make John happy when John comes back to 221B with his new baby after the events of Season 3, but Sherlock has a track record of getting things wrong in this area. This story is an exploration of their gradual shift from friends to lovers, told from Sherlock’s perspective, full of a lot of pining and lack of emotional awareness.

Take My Breath Away by Quesarasara (E, 14,240 w., 1 Ch. || Emotional H/C, Angst & Fluff, Toplock, Smut, Lingerie) – Sherlock opens his eyes and looks at his friend—his best friend—and slowly tips his chin down until his forehead rests softly against John’s. They stay that way for a long moment, lips just a whisper apart, warm puffs of air mingling as each of them struggles to breathe. It’s no wonder they ended up here, really, locked in this breathless moment balanced on the cusp of something new. They’ve spent years taking each other’s breath away…

Pattern Behaviour by SilentAuror (E, 14,835 w., 1 Ch. || POV First Person Sherlock, Jealous Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Introspection, Stroppy Sherlock, Light Humour, Friendship, John Takes Care of Sherlock, First Kiss/Time, Wall Kisses, Fluffy Angst, Happy Ending) – Sherlock doesn’t even know why he resents John’s dates so much. Until the day he does know. Slight angst, unrequited feelings (but don’t let that scare you off!)

Merlot by Itsallfine (E, 14,844 w., 17 Ch. || Christmas, Pining Sherlock, Wine, Slow Burn, First Kiss / Time, Love Confessions, Wine, Holmes Family) – Sherlock and John work toward becoming something more as they prepare to host the Holmes parents at 221B for the holidays. Part of 25 Days of Fic-Mas 2015.

A Silver Sixpence by _doodle (NC-17, 16,400 w., 2 Ch. || LJ Fic || For a Case / Case Fic, Fake Relationship, Humour, Romance, Marriage Proposal, Awkward Idiots, Cuddling, Touching, Kissing, Love Confessions, Bed Sharing, Friends to Lovers, Fake Until It’s Not, Schmoop and Fluff, Bottomlock) – “John, we need to get married. It’s for a case, not any romantic notions on my part pertaining to our partnership,” Sherlock said, with brutal honesty, and without even looking up.

A Hundred Thousand Ways to Say the Name John by Jberry (E, 16,825 w., 1 Ch. || Fake Relationship, Fake Marriage, POV John, Pining John, Cruise Ship, Angst & Fluff, Case Fic) –  John Watson and Sherlock Holmes must solve a case on a cruise ship. To get close to the crew and passengers, they must get married for the case on the Baetica. However, their relationship hits rocky seas both due to the case and internal conflicts. Part 1 of Baetica

About Sleep and Coffee and the Existence of Fate by Atiki (E, 17,426 w., 6 Ch. || Fluff, Marriage Proposal, Humour, 5+1) – Naturally, John was startled when suddenly the ultimate solution occurred to him: Marriage. This was, of course, a bit of a fundamental problem rather than an actual solution. One didn’t simply use the words “Sherlock” and “marriage” within the same sentence. Not even in a hypothetical context. Five times John kind of wanted to propose to Sherlock, and one time he didn’t have to.

John Watson doesn’t have a Boyfriend by naughtyspirit (E, 18,932 w., 7 Ch. || UST / URT, Fluff & Smut, Voyeurism, Masturbation) – John’s date has gone very well. Sherlock requires tea. John wishes he hadn’t resolved that their relationship was strictly hands off and isn’t about to address it. Unless he has to. Smut, fluff and shower time for a naked John Watson.

Through the Clouds by Mazarin221b (E, 20,004 w., 6 Ch. || Retirement, Sussex, Bees, Home Improvement, First Time, Romance) – Sherlock takes a remarkably early retirement at 47, and convinces John that a change of pace would do them both good. They buy an old cottage on the South Downs, and exchange their nonstop life in Baker Street for quiet contemplation, bee studies, and book writing. They might go completely insane, but sometimes it takes stepping outside of the life you’re living to find the life you want. Part 1 of Through The Clouds

A Life Well-Lived by Kate_Lear (E, 20,121 w., 1 Ch. || Original Male Character, Sherlock Woos John, Jealous Sherlock, Reluctant Bi-John, Past Abuse, Insecure John, Reassuring / Caring Sherlock, Protective Sherlock, Understanding Sherlock) – John got scared off men by an abusive past relationship. Sherlock has to try and woo him while not scaring him off with protective possessive rage.

[lovecanbesostrange]

"#maybe I should just blame Owen" i blame Owen or at least, the writers loving Owen too much, i still don't get why he is still in Grey's. i love the actor, but man let him go already so he can do other things and Owen can stop. Also, I feel like they don't remember Henry because WTH.

Kevin McKidd seems so nice in interviews. He clearly loves his work and he is doing good when directing. And well, when Owen has his good moments, when I remember where he started and when they focused on his ptsd and then made it seem like he was on the road to recovery... can I have that very specific Owen?!

There even was a time, when in S11/12 the whole Owen/Amelia relationship made so much sense. And having someone so flawed, who made so many mistakes in the past like Amelia with Owen, it was like he grew. Because the writers let him understand the pain and not pressure her. I had hopes...

But a part of me thinks that when Cristina left, the best thing would’ve been for Owen to find love off-screen. Or maybe somebody who is introduced through a medical storyline, but ultimately is not part of Grey Sloan. An off-screen wife who is totally up for a more traditonal household. Maybe just a parttime job, eager to have and raise kids as an up and coming soccer mom. And Owen could work, be the excellent trauma surgeon he definitely is, mentor residents, find the ones who work well under pressure, and then go home and be in dad-mode. Off-screen. That would have been the best solution.

But no. He gets drama. Relationship drama. Romantic drama. And omg do they keep throwing him at bad situations he is terrible at dealing with. Why? WHY? Well, the miscommunication with Amelia in S13 wasn’t his fault, I give him that. I know a real life pregnancy caused a bit of chaos, but the writers should’ve found a better solution than Amelia refusing to talk to him. For once he didn’t do anything wrong at all.

Sometimes I’m even mad they threw in his foster/adoption storyline. Sorry, if anybody should’ve gotten that, it was Jo/Alex (and now Bailey has a foster teen at home as well). And one baby isn’t enough, pregnant!Teddy comes back! And did they think Owen would look better if he isn’t the one to screw this up now? Having Teddy in the middle between two men, then saying yes to one, but cheating with the other?!

Tom Koracick can be a major pain in the butt. But we saw that he treated Teddy well (and also Amelia and Catherine, like when you’re in with him, you’re in). And why couldn’t Teddy go back to that emotional place, where Owen is this important friend, but ultimately not a good choice. Because there is too much bagage at this point. No, we get drama. Guess by the end of the season they will be back together again. Ugh.

For whatever reason there was a point when Owen and Cristina truly loved each other. And I think it was a wonderful way to capture the tragedy that one of his absolute life goals was to be a father and she never ever wanted kids. And that broke them, because it could not be ever overcome. But even with that, I think there is a way to tell this as like a mutual tragedy, without making either horrible about it. But the way he behaved over Cristina’s abortion... I think that’s a moment I can’t forgive. (Especially because I am so sick of how 9 out of 10 cases like that have the women change their mind and then suddenly they are happy).

I’m watching Grey’s on a constant loop, because in 2010 the channel Sixx started in Germany and ever since, every mo-fri around 7/7:30pm it is on. Currently we are in S5 again and oh boy, that Owen, fresh eyes, the voice of reason, getting Cristina out of her no-cardio funk... he couldn’t face his fiancee, didn’t tell her he was back, because he changed. That was a good flaw to start him on, made him human. But now he is a terrible dude, who believes his morals are always the right ones and everybody else has to be judged by him.

I’d say Catherine Fox might be the most stubborn and set in her ways (pride being her curse and blessing). But even she can see the other side in a way Owen seems completely incapable of. And it’s getting on my nerves.

Everybody has good sides and bad moments (some people need to face the reality that sweet George often was a trademark Nice Guy). But Owen........ he only has good moments that are too fleeting too often. And the narrative has huge blindspots when it comes to him. I don’t even wish for something bad to happen. See above. But can he stay away from women who like their jobs and show ambition beyond motherhood? (I get how he was paired with Callie in the alternate reality episode, she was probably the most traditional I-want-to-be-a-mom-person and I could see that fit for a hot second.)

[simmonsofshield]

Broken, Mended Chapter 4

Pairings: Steve Rogers x Reader, Sam Wilson x Reader (platonic)

Summary: After breaking off an engagement, Y/N may have possibly hit rock bottom. But she doesn’t have time to think about it because she gets deployed to Iraq. Leaving their daughter with her friend, Sam Wilson, she’s gone for a year. She doesn’t like talking about her ex-fiance and is unsure if she’ll ever be able to love again. What happens a certain Captain is his literal doppelganger?

Words: 1300+

Warnings: Lots of swears in this one, sorry. Feelings of anger, betrayal. Drama. But also feels.

A/N: Normalize 👏 Platonic 👏 M/F 👏 Love 👏  (in case you can’t tell by this point, Y/N and Sam are very close. If you’re a Grey’s fan, I picture it very much like Mer and Alex. Two people who could never picture themselves in a relationship but would die for each other.) (omg i’m booboo the fool. another great example would be nat and clint?) This is for @ussgallifreyfics​ 550 follower writing challenge! Takes place during Civil War.

tag list is open

Y/N doesn’t know how long she’s out, but when she wakes up she can tell she’s in a completely different place. She’s not laying on the ground, but whatever she’s on is not comfortable in the least. As she stirs awake, she can also tell she no longer has her wings on, nor any of her pistols. Freaking out, she sits up quickly, groaning as her head still hurts. Still disoriented, she doesn’t see the person jog past her, but she hears them. “Your girl’s awake too, Sam.”

He lets out a dry chuckle, “Not my girl, Cap.” 

When she hears his voice, she lets out a deep exhale and slowly leans herself against the wall, closing her eyes for a moment. Now a little more with her bearings, she can tell she’s simply laying on a piece of plywood over a couple wooden pallets. She doesn’t open her eyes but can tell Sam’s next to her now. She sarcastically smiles, eyes still closed, “Were you just going to keep this from me Sam? Didn’t think I was going to find out?”

He sighs, “Not this way at least. I’d rather it be in DC. What are you doing here anyways? I thought you were only supposed to be in Vienna.”

Y/N finally opens her eyes and looks at him, “You’re not deflecting away from this Sam. You never told me why you retired and now you're basically back in action and you weren’t going to tell me? How long Sam?”

He looks down in defeat, “Two years.”

“What?! T-two years? Sam, what the hell? So you were already doing stuff while I was gone? What the hell did you do with Ro?”

He smiles as best he can and waves his hand dismissively. “Oh, she was fine. Pepper’s great.”

“Pepper? As in Stark? You just casually left my child with not only a CEO of a company, who I’m sure is busy in her own right, but a stranger without consulting me first? Oh my god.” She puts her head in her hands and just sits like that for while. When a hand touches her arm, she so badly wants to pull it away but can’t for some reason. She blames the whole being knocked out thing and just exhaustion - physical and mental - at this point. 

“Y/N?” 

Finally bringing her head up, she looks up to see she now has an audience. James and Steve, who she has pieced together is also Captain America by Sam calling him ‘Cap.’ Her vision is cloudy - she hadn’t even realized she was crying. Wiping the tears away and clearing up her vision, she’s pretty sure she almost has a heart attack. She backs herself into the wall as much as she can, which isn’t very much since she was already sitting up against it. In front of her is Ransom. That’s why he was so familiar back in the holding location. Her breath quickens and she looks over at Sam, confusion and a sliver of fear in his eyes. 

“Y/N?”

“Holy shit.” She stands up and goes to the end of her ‘bed,’ where her wings and weapons are located. She throws on the wings and fumbles with the guns as she runs out of the warehouse. She can hear all three of them following her, but she doesn’t stop, until she gets to the end of the wharf. She collapses, dropping her guns, and just sits there on her hands and knees, crying. When she hears only a single set of footsteps walk towards her, she knows it’s Sam.

He crouches down, putting his hand on her shoulder. “Y/N are you okay? What was that?”

“What was that?” she basically yells back, anger still seething. She brings her voice down before continuing, “Sam, didn’t you realize that Steve, Captain America, fuck...looks almost exactly like Ransom? What the hell?” 

He looks over at Steve and back down at his friend, “Well now that you mention it...”

“Sam, this is no time to make jokes. I’m pretty sure what I’m experiencing here is a panic attack, or something, I don’t know. Fuck!” She hits her fist on the concrete. “What is happening? This is a sick, twisted game of fate the universe is playing that I didn’t ask for.”

She resituates herself so she’s sitting on her butt beside Sam. Taking a few breaths to calm down, she continues, “I guess now is as good a time as ever.” she wipes her face, trying to give herself a little bit of dignity back. “I trust you but I have to say this for my own sanity. You can not tell this to anyone. Especially your bff Cap over there.” she points over to Steve.

Sam nods, “Of course.”

“Okay,” she takes one last breath before starting, “the reason I broke off the engagement was because Ransom killed Harlan, his grandfather.”

“Oh shit.”

“Yeah. And he tried to peg it on Marta, Harlan’s nurse. It was a whole thing. So I left him and fled Boston for you.”

“Oh my god, Y/N, I’m so sorry.”

All she does is nod in response, unable to speak at the moment. The exhaustion is really hitting her now.

“Riley died.”

She turns to him, “What?” He’s not looking at her, just straight out at the water. 

“Why I retired. I went on a mission with Riley in Afghanistan. RPGs were flying everywhere, but we infiltrated the target’s hideout. He got hit by one and I couldn’t save him. There was nothing I could do.”

She scoots a little closer and puts her arm around him, “I’m sorry. I remember you two were close.” He nods and also puts an arm around her. She leans her head on his shoulder and they sit like that for a couple minutes, in comfortable silence.

Someone clears their throat. “Sam.” They both look over to see the other two men closer to them now. She makes a split second of eye contact with Steve before immediately looking away and over at James. He seems to be James at the moment, not the Winter Soldier. He can’t seem to look at her, probably out of regret of what he’s done in just the past couple hours.

“You good?” Sam looks at Y/N as he begins to get up.

“Yeah.”

He stands up completely and puts his hand out to help her up. She takes it and stands as well, a little wobbly at first but she steadies herself and watches as Steve takes him aside and chats. Probably about James and what to do with him now that they’re basically running from the law.

Y/N takes the moment to bring her hand to her ear, hoping the com still works despite her being tossed like a ragdoll. “Carter, Fury. Anyone on coms?”

A female voice responds, “Yeah. What happened? We lost track of you.”

“Long story. I got thrown into a wall. Probably compromised the tracker somehow. I’m surprised the earpiece even works. Where are you?”

“Still where we were holding Barnes. Trying to find him.”

“Okay. I’ll make my way back to you and try to help.”

“We’ll be waiting.” 

Finally putting the guns in her holsters, Y/N extends her wings and readies herself to take off. Before she can, a hand on her arm stops her. “You sure you’re good enough to fly? You seem pretty wiped and a lot just happened.”

The wings retract and she turns to Sam, “Yeah, but I’m meeting back up with Sharon. Can’t exactly get there in a timely manner on foot.”

He turns to Steve who shrugs and nods. He faces her again, “We can take you.”

She raises an eyebrow, “How? You’re just going to, what, casually steal a car?”

“Actually yeah.”

“You’re unbelievable. You do know you’re all already wanted for helping a literal assassin?” she shakes her head, not waiting for a response, “but I guess I don’t have another choice. Just get me close and you guys can go on your merry way evading the law.”

All Sam does is laugh.

tags:

@cake-writes​​​ @supraveng​​​ @vxidnik​​​ @kallafrench​​​ @itsallyscorner​​​ @polarcrystall​​​ @eliza5616​ 

[kuroganeslayer]

How did you get into RP?

// The villians made me do it. Axel, Piccolo, Vegeta, Yami Bakura, Yami Malik, Renji, Grimmjow, hichigo, Gajeel, Cobra/Erik, Midnight/Macbeth, and Laxus.

I

[[MORE]]

That is hard to remember as it happened along time ago when I was watching yugioh for the first time when WB had it on tv. Then I grew attached and got the japanse ones including the manga books. I noticed a huge difference between the anime dubbed and the oringal. But sometimes I could understand why they change things, but people pointing your fingers at you which were oringally supposed to be guns was really stupid. Then changing the cards, editing the millienium Rod where Yami Maik is holding it in a wiered angle instead of seeing the dagger so stupid and even editing Zork, because he looks like he has a huge cock, but they edited It and made it worse for the dub. Shit they could of created smoke circulated around him and no one would of noticed it.

 That is where I got my inspiration on writing fan fiction, then I hopped on rp on forums on breaks during my internet class. I used to know how to do lots of html stuff, but now am really rusty with it. When I was in the yugioh fandom, they had a forum where you could look up spoilers, but I got into when you could rp with any other anime character you wanted I would rp as Yami Bakura and Yami Maik, as they were my favorite characters in the show even though they actually dueled against each other, but then took out the dueling part where me and a selected group had all of them go adventures and these two villians would cause chaos.

A few times I also rped as Piccolo, but that was hard to pull off. 

Then I got into the Kingdom Hearts fandom on a different site and rped as Axel and then things started to get hectic as me and a friend were harassed personally just because we wrote paragraphs when we rped. However the other group would god mod a lot so it just wasn’t a fun environment anymore Including the site getting hacked by a moderator who erased all the rps so I found my way to tumblr. At first I would just scroll and type things of my interest then I saw people rping and it looked like fun to me. There was another person who I quickly became friends with and she was a Axel rper and we would rp together. Then I found a Reno rper who has a butt load of other blogs as muses and we became friends. I would rp with almost all his muses. Eventually he and my Axel began shipping together. Then he disappeared and said he needed time away from the fandom and I understood that. Then he introduced me to Bleach and that is where I feel in love with Renji, Ichigo and Grimmjow. I currently have an Renji and Ichigo muse to this day, but I only go on there when I feel muse, but sometimes other people complaining about the manga doesn’t help or even the anon hate either. Also there was drama in the Bleach fandom and it started to get toxic.

So I found a different outlet, but it wasn’t until I saw Fairy Tail on Netflix so I watched it because I give anime a chance of at least 8 episodes or more. The story was hilarious and I decided I would keep watching it trying to find a favortie character that came along. Laxus was awesome and I liked him and his attitude, but also Natsu was completely funny and so was Grey. However when Gajeel came onto the screen I just fell in love with this bad ass. He was a villain and I love villains and I have always have in most cases when it comes to lots of animes. I root for them instead of the heros.  Also I have always loved dragons so Fairy Tail became a favorite and him being a dragon slayer like Natsu was pretty awesome. Damn Gajeel was such a bastard dragonslayer and he wanted to kill Natsu. Then I found out that Laxus was a dragon slayer also. I was thinking holy shit how many are there? So yes that intrigued me also. Gajeel being part of Fairy Tail still baffles me. Makarov making it happen by basically trapping him against his will. This really set off Laxus and he wanted to take over the guild because of dark guilds besides the econsidering his guild weak. Then after the Fantasia arc was over and Laxus leaving his thunder legion behind. I went to look for more episodes. I caught up and was a little upset that Gajeel wasn’t in the Oracion Seis arc and I still hate the creator for doing that because it would of been so much interesting in my opinion to see if Gajeel would turn on Fairy Tail or not. I secretly was hoping he would because I never thought he would become a redeemed villain that earily in the series. With how hes treated now as a comedy relief and joke I wish he never was part of fairy tail.

I even thought about boycotting that saga just because it didn’t seem that interesting. However that quickly changed when I noticed the villians. There were two guys that quickly grabbed my attention Cobra and Midnight. It was during the opening So I continued to watch despite the fact I had a problem of Wendy being exposed to a criminal underlord, guild a dark guild. Sorry, but that made no sense to me to expose a newbie with no fighting experience over someone like Gajeel, Juvia who has experience with fighting guilds. I wondered what the hell was the creator thinking. How come Gajeel wasn’t in this saga at all? It would of been right up his ally. So stupid and lame. Then I was thinking he was purposely excluded for some reason. I still feel for that as it wasn’t just a spy for Raven Tail thing because Gajeel already gave Makarov the information for being a double agent for the dark guild Raven Tail. Juvia also wasn’t in this saga either even though she has been with Natsu’s team when they were dealing with Jellal. I pondered this as well, both members part of Phantom Lord, supposedly a rival of Fairy Tail, however to me it never seem like the case. It was more than that especially if you read the japanese portion of the manga and anime (not the dubb) that evil Saint Wizard Jose wanted that guild terminated, everyone dead, jealously my ass. Much like dark guilds hate light guilds. Gajeel and Juvia were a threat to Fairy Tail and Makarov knew it, so he kept them out of it. Probably for the best, but I digress.

So I rooted for the other side, the Oracion Seis wanting them to beat the light guilds. Midnight was pretty interesting especially when he was sleeping on a carpet. The Cobra guy with his monstrous snake definitely had me hooked. There was something about those eyes and those fangs of his that seemed familar and it reminded me of Gajeel’s, Laxus and Natsu. Then his mind ability to hear anything and go through memories through me a loop. Shit I loved this guy kicking Natsu’s ass and it was just fascinated to watch. Then learning he was also a dragon slayer made me think of how well he and Gajeel would have been fun to team up in the series cause trouble loved to have seen especially to see how they faired against Natsu together. Unfortunately Gajeel and Cobra only teamed up in Fairy Tail Gaiden Rhodonite which I hope in the future its gets an anime adaption. It's about the only time Gajeel actually worked with someone (besides Pantherlily his bad ass black panther exceed) who could hold his own in a fight without interference from a third party. And actually respects him.

[angelofthequeers]

Hold Me By Both Hands: Chapter 45

Disclaimer: I don’t own ML.

@smolplantmum tagged as requested :)

Chapter 44 | Chapter 46 | AO3 link

For a moment, no one dares to speak, lest they shatter the glass-like atmosphere between them. That is, until Adrien tries to laugh, but ends up sounding like he’s crying in pain.

“M-Me? Chat Noir? What the hell are you talking about?” he says.  Sanguisuga rolls her eyes.

“Don’t lie to me, Adrien!” she snaps, grabbing his wrist and yanking his hand up so that his silver ring gleams in the sunlight. Alix, Juleka, Mylène, and Rena Rouge gasp, and the others in the square who have paused to watch the drama unfold gasp and start to whisper. “I saw you during your photoshoot here, when Gigantitan attacked! I saw your little cat demon thing – Plagg, you called him?”

Marinette’s nearly sick on the spot. Okay, so anyone can claim that anyone’s a superhero, but the only way Sanguisuga would know about kwamis, especially Plagg’s name, is if she really had seen him. That nausea only grows stronger when a purple butterfly mask appears over Sanguisuga’s face.

“Yes, Hawkmoth, I’m a hundred percent sure,” she says. She pulls Adrien’s hand closer to her face, ignoring his grunts and attempts to struggle free. Meanwhile, Kagami squeezes Marinette’s hand and starts to pull her away from the scene, so that they can hide and transform. “See? I was just waiting until the right time to – oh, of course, Hawkmoth.” The purple mask fades from Sanguisuga’s face. “Why would I hurt Chat Noir when I can take the girls that he holds so dear?”

“Plagg, claws out!” Adrien blurts out, and he transforms into Chat Noir in a flash of green light and rips himself out of Sanguisuga’s grip. “Marinette! Kagami! Look out!”

But Sanguisuga’s faster than him, and she’s launched herself into the air and landed in front of Marinette and Kagami, then slung them over her shoulders, all before Chat Noir can take more than a few steps.

“Ah, good, you got everything,” Sanguisuga says to the people recording the goings-on around them as she floats back into the air. “If I can’t have Adrien, I’ll destroy everything that he holds dear! First his secret identity, now his girls!”

“Don’t worry about us!” Kagami says, struggling furiously to try and throw Sanguisuga off-balance, but it’s kind of hard to make her lose her balance when she’s levitating and endowed with superpowers from an evil butterfly.

“Go find Ladybug!” Marinette adds in a desperate attempt to throw any suspicion off her secret identity. She tries to knee Sanguisuga in the torso, but Sanguisuga simply drapes Marinette further over her shoulder and holds her by the thighs rather than around the waist, denying Marinette any leverage.

“And after his girls, his boy!” Sanguisuga finishes. Over Sanguisuga’s shoulder as she turns to soar to the Eiffel Tower, Marinette sees Juleka’s eyes widen as she mouths something that looks like, “Not Luka!” A moment later, Sanguisuga lands on the tip of the Eiffel Tower and dumps Marinette and Kagami unceremoniously onto their butts, eliciting twin winded exhales.

“Sit tight, girls,” Sanguisuga says with a wink. “I’ve just got to grab one more person before that pesky pussy cat can get there first.” Then she’s off, zooming across the skies of Paris in the direction of the Couffaine houseboat, while Marinette gulps and huddles closer to Kagami because this platform is really not the biggest and she’s got no super suit to protect her from a fall like this.

“Shouldn’t we transform?” Kagami says, slipping an arm around Marinette’s waist. Marinette shakes her head and points at all the people standing around and recording.

“The last thing we need is to out our secret identities as well,” she says. She groans and covers her face with her hands. “Oh, this is a disaster! No one’s supposed to know! And now all of Paris knows Adrien’s identity! How did Lila even see him transforming? We’re always so careful!”

“The Trocadéro is a large area,” Kagami says. “If Lila was blending in to the panicking crowd, it would’ve been fairly easy for her to see him transform while staying hidden. Especially if she was actively stalking him.”

Marinette groans again and uncovers her face, only to rest her head sideways on Kagami’s shoulder. “I should send out an alert in case any of the team somehow doesn’t know what’s going on. What do you think her powers are? She drained people of energy, but why?”

“Probably to make herself stronger,” Kagami says. She pulls out her phone and types something, then nods. “Sanguisuga means leech, or bloodsucker, in Italian. I’m assuming she leeches the energy off people. Maybe that’s how she can fly.”

“Great,” Marinette says and types out a quick alert in the group chat. “This’ll be a fun akuma to deal with.”

“Don’t worry, girls!” Rena Rouge calls from the base of the Tower. “I’m coming to – gah!”

“Well, then,” Marinette says as Rose tackles Rena Rouge, with a horde of vampire zombies running towards the Trocadéro to no doubt help Rose out. “Rena Rouge, more are coming!”

“Oh, come on!” Rena Rouge bats Rose across the face with her flute. “Where the hell are the others?”

“Maybe I should’ve given out the Horse,” Marinette mutters.

“If it comes down to it, I’ll transform and get us down,” Kagami says. “You can find another Ryuuko, but there can’t be another Ladybug.”

“I don’t want another Ryuuko,” Marinette says. “The others will come through. You’ll see.”

Her faith is severely tested when Sanguisuga proves to be the victor of the race to get to Luka and returns to dump him next to Marinette and Kagami. Although Carapace and Honeybee have arrived to back up Rena Rouge, they’ve got their hands full with the zompires, as Marinette has christened them, and so they’re not exactly up for a rescue mission quite yet.

“Don’t hurt them!” Chat Noir lands in front of Sanguisuga with his hands up. “Why can’t you just accept that I’m not into you?”

“Because you’re mine, Adrien Agreste,” Sanguisuga hisses. “I always get what I want. Even trying to destroy your precious girlfriend didn’t work! I broke her arm and you two were still so sickeningly sweet that I wanted to throw up!”

“You!” Marinette’s eyes bulge. “You made me fall down the stairs! And you were trying to lead me away when Tangleweed attacked! I thought I was just hallucinating!”

Sanguisuga snorts. “Whatever. Give me your Miraculous, Chat Noir, or I’ll drain the people you hold dearest. And it won’t just be a zombie drain like with the others. No, that would be too easy. I’ll squeeze every last drop out of them until they’re nothing but a skeleton.”

“Don’t you dare!” Chat Noir dives at Sanguisuga with his baton poised to crack across her skull, but she giggles and swoops out of the way. Thankfully, with her attention on Chat Noir, she doesn’t seem to be focused on Marinette, Kagami, and Luka anymore, although that’s not really a comforting thought when Marinette and Kagami still can’t transform because of the damn cameras on the ground!

“Pst!”

Marinette whirls around, slapping a hand over her mouth to muffle her squeal when she realises that it’s…a mouse hero? Not just a mouse hero, but two, crouched on the other side of the Tower tip, looking to be a few inches shorter than Marinette? The mouse hero who’d spoken peeks at Chat Noir and Sanguisuga, then bites her lip and groans.

“I can only take two of you,” she says. “Any more clones and I’ll be too small to carry you! But I don’t want to leave any of you! Oh, I’m an awful hero!”

“Who even are you?” Marinette says.

“Oh!” The mouse hero shakes her head, her multitude of blonde braids swishing around. “Petite Souris. Chat Noir asked me to help out for at least this battle, because he thought they’d need a surprise element to take down Sanguisuga.”

“Well, looks like he was right,” Luka says. “You can take Marinette and Kagami and get them out of here.”

“We’re not leaving you!” Marinette and Kagami say immediately. Luka shrugs.

“You don’t have a choice.”

“Hey!” Sanguisuga kicks Chat Noir away, then dives at the Petite Souris clones, who squeak and duck around the metal tip to avoid the vampire’s touch. “Get away from them, you little – hey! Get off me!”

Luka just snarls and tightens his arms around her neck and his legs around her waist. “Take Marinette and Kagami! Now!” he barks at Petite Souris, whose clones are both frozen on the spot. His shout is enough to jolt each clone to grab Marinette and Kagami and start bounding down the Tower, and the last, horrifying thing Marinette sees over Petite Souris’s shoulder is Sanguisuga throwing Luka off her, then grabbing him by the throat and glowing purple as she drains his life force.

“Luka!” she shrieks.

“He’ll be fine once Ladybug gets here!” says the Petite Souris carrying her. Both mouse clones leap down onto a viewing platform and deposit Marinette and Kagami, then spring back together in a flash of light and grow to full height. Now that she’s not in imminent danger, Marinette’s able to get a good look at Petite Souris before she vanishes: she’s wearing a long-sleeved grey dress with a high white collar, a white torso, short pink gloves, grey tights with white inner thighs, and thigh-high pink boots with white soles. Her mask is a grey mouse head over the top half of her face and her weapon appears to be the pink jump rope tied around her waist, falling behind her like a mouse’s tail. Petite Souris jumps when her necklace beeps.

“I have to go recharge and jump back in, so stay here! Both of you!” she says.

“Thank you, Souris,” Kagami says. “You’re an amazing hero.”

Petite Souris flushes pink, then scurries into the elevator, no doubt to detransform and refuel by the time she reaches the bottom.

“Luka…” Marinette’s voice hitches. “And Chat Noir…” She takes a deep breath and clenches her fists. “I have to focus! I can’t do anything about Chat Noir’s identity being revealed, but I can save Luka and expose Lila!”

“Exactly.” Kagami takes Marinette’s hands and squeezes. “Stay focused, Marinette. The sooner we defeat Sanguisuga, the sooner we can save Luka. Longg, bring the storm!”

“You know what to say, Marinette!” Tikki says from inside Marinette’s purse as Kagami transforms into Ryuuko in a flash of red light. Marinette squares her shoulders and nods.

“Tikki, spots on!”

“Ladybug!” Honeybee shouts when Ladybug swings out with Ryuuko and lands on the ground, in the middle of the zompire swarm. “It’s about damn time! These minions are getting utterly ridiculous!”

“Wow, for a moment, you sounded like someone who drives me up the wall,” Alix drawls as she smashes a zompire in the face with a metal bar. Next to her, Juleka looks like a horror monster from Ladybug’s worst nightmares as she slams and kicks any zompire unfortunate enough to end up within her reach, a feral snarl stretched across her face.

“Fuck you, I’m a beelight to be around,” Honeybee says, then she lets out a wail. “Look what you’ve done to me, Adri – Chat! I’m punning now!”

“Sorry, Honeybee, I couldn’t help being held up,” Ladybug says sarcastically.

“You okay, dude?” Carapace says. “I mean, learning your partner’s Adrien…shit, now I know why he picked me…”

“Do secret identities apparently not mean anything anymore?” Rena Rouge says and whacks a zompire that’s about to tackle Carapace. “Watch your back, Shellhead! Where the heck is Petite Souris?”

“Recharging because she saved Marinette and Kagami,” Ryuuko says shortly before Carapace can retort.

“Oh. Thank god,” Rena Rouge says. “So, chief, what’s the plan?”

“Lucky Charm!” Ladybug catches an ice cream scooper and blinks owlishly at it. “Um, what am I supposed to do with this?”

As if in response to her question, Chat Noir crashes to the ground right next to her, groaning. A cackling Sanguisuga floats down to land and meet the team of heroes, her skirts and cape billowing around her, and if Ladybug’s being honest, she’s a little hacked off that Lila gets such a cool akuma theme when she’s such an awful person.

“What now?” Sanguisuga says. “Your mangy partner is nothing more than a greedy rich kid who can’t make up his mind between a boy and two girls, when he couldn’t even add me too. And you can’t hide Marinette Dupain-Cheng and Kagami Tsurugi from me forever. Once I’ve got the Miraculouses for Hawkmoth, he’s promised me Adrien!”

“Like hell,” Chat Noir groans into the concrete. Ladybug sighs and stoops to pull him to his feet, just as Petite Souris dives at Sanguisuga from behind.

“Souris, no!” Ladybug cries. But it’s too late; Sanguisuga smoothly turns and grabs Petite Souris by the wrist, then slams her into the ground and starts to drain the life force from her. Petite Souris gasps and tries to fight back, but her struggles weaken with every passing second.

“I don’t think so!” Alix’s metal bar goes soaring through the air and smashes into Sanguisuga’s head, forcing her to release Petite Souris as she shrieks and staggers backwards.

“Get up!” Honeybee stomps over to Petite Souris and scoops her up bridal style, then sets her back on her feet. Petite Souris just groans and sags against Honeybee. “Ugh, newbees!”

“You dare attack me?” Sanguisuga howls and dives at Alix. But Honeybee is there in a flash to shield Alix and Juleka with her trompo, still clutching Petite Souris to her side.

“Don’t touch the annoying skater girl,” Honeybee hisses. “Or the annoying goth girl too, I guess.”

“Thanks,” Juleka deadpans, her eyes still blazing as she glares at Sanguisuga.

“Alix, Juleka, get Souris out of here!” Ladybug says. “Carapace, give us some breathing room!”

As soon as Honeybee has relinquished Petite Souris to Alix and Juleka so that they can drag her back towards the Eiffel Tower and away from Sanguisuga and the zompires, Carapace summons his Shellter and encases the heroes, protecting them from Sanguisuga.

“Really?” Sanguisuga drawls. “Ladybug’s going to transform back soon. All I have to do is wait till Shellhead times out as well and then you’re all mine.”

“Hey, only I can call him Shellhead, you Cullen freak!” Rena Rouge growls.

“If they don’t start making out after this battle, I swear to god,” Honeybee mutters. Meanwhile, Ladybug gnaws on her bottom lip as she tries to figure out how the hell to use her Lucky Charm. Her eyes land on the ice cream scooper, her teammates, a nearby column of the Trocadéro, then Sanguisuga, and she suddenly realises exactly what they need to do.

“Rena, make as much smoke as you can,” Ladybug says. “Enough to keep Sanguisuga off-balance and stop her and her minions from getting a clear hit on any of us. Ryuuko, we have to get her over near the Trocadéro so Chat can use his Cataclysm. Honeybee, sting her when the time’s right. Go!”

Carapace drops his Shellter just as Rena Rouge summons her Mirage, filling the square with thick orange smoke and providing cover for Ladybug and her teammates to scatter. Ladybug and Ryuuko end up near the Trocadéro, waiting for the moment when Sanguisuga comes after them.

“Enough!” Sanguisuga floats above the smoke, a hideous snarl twisting her cyanic face. “Just give me your Miraculouses and save yourselves this trouble! I’ll win in the end!”

“Then come and get them!” Ladybug calls, waving the scooper above her head. Sanguisuga shrieks and dives after her, shooting purple beam after purple beam from her bracelet, but Ladybug just uses the metal scooper to catch each beam and flick them back at Sanguisuga to blind her, even if she’s not affected by her own energy-draining power.

“Water Dragon!” Ryuuko hefts her sword and summons her water power as a glimmering whip in her free hand. While Ladybug keeps Sanguisuga off-balance, Ryuuko flicks her water whip and catches Sanguisuga across the face, slapping her right out of the air and into one of the Trocadéro columns, where gravity peels her off the stone and sends her crashing to the ground.

“Cataclysm!” Chat Noir rakes his claws across the column and sends it crumbling on top of Sanguisuga, pinning her to the ground from the waist-down. But her hands are still free and she’s full of energy from the people she’s drained, so she’s slowly pulling herself free of the wreckage while aiming straight at Ladybug with a twisted growl. Before she can fire –

“Venom!” Honeybee kneels and pokes Sanguisuga directly on the neck with her pulsating trompo. “Ha. Looks like the vampire was the one bitten this time.”

“I’ll give you a five out of ten for that,” Chat Noir says. Honeybee sniffs and tosses her hair.

“Fuck you, Adrichat. My jokes are impeccabeele.”

“Okay, what’s with the puns? You’ve never done them before.”

“I can’t let my best friend out-dork me, thank you very much.”

Ladybug groans and facepalms. “Thanks, Chat, you’ve created a monster. Just break the akuma already.” Then she can fix everything and get Luka back and they can sort out what to do about Chat Noir’s identity and put this whole thing behind them and go for ice cream and cuddles –

“Ladybug!” Ryuuko elbows her gently. Ladybug blinks and shakes her head to snap herself out of her thoughts and capture the akuma. Once it’s purified, she throws the scooper into the air with trembling fingers.

“Miraculous Ladybug!”

The healing ladybugs swarm around the Trocadéro, fixing every single zompire and the damage caused by the battle and returning Alix, Juleka, and Petite Souris from their hiding place, then heading for the tip of the Eiffel Tower, and Ladybug lets out a choked half-laugh because that means that Luka’s been fixed. He’s okay!

“Huh?” Lila blinks and stares around from where she’s kneeling on the ground. “Where am I? Oh no! Was I akumatised again?” She starts to fake-cry, and Ladybug resists the near-irresistible urge to roll her eyes to high heaven.

“Don’t cry, Lila!” A recovered Rose rushes to help Lila up. “No one can help being akumatised!”

That much is true. But Lila had most definitely been pulling her shit even before she was akumatised, and Ladybug doesn’t intend to let her get away with any of it.

“I’m so sorry,” Lila sniffles. “I was just…I guess I was a little jealous, and Hawkmoth took advantage of me, and I feel so dirty –”

“Save the sob story,” Ladybug says shortly. “Marinette told Ryuuko and I that you admitted to breaking her arm that time when Tangleweed attacked. You certainly weren’t akumatised when you did that. You weren’t akumatised when you pulled off that power play against Adrien when he first rejected you. And you weren’t akumatised when you told those lies about being my friend and everything else.”

“I – but – how dare you!” Lila gasps. “I thought we were – well, we’re certainly not friends now! How could you hold what I said as an akuma against me? You don’t know that I wasn’t lying! And you weren’t in any hurry to denounce me before now; if I really was lying, why wouldn’t you speak up about it? Huh?”

“Because you were relatively harmless before now.” Ladybug’s earrings beep, but she ignores them. “Just telling celebrity lies to make yourself look good, and I don’t concern myself with teenage girl matters. But you’ve crossed a line, Lila Rossi. You put innocent civilians in direct danger simply because the boy you like stuck to his boundaries. Adrien’s reputation could have been permanently smeared and his father could have punished him for something he never did.”

“I told him, I had a traumatic flashback to an abusive boy in Italy!”

“Marinette could have died from that fall if she’d landed wrong – you’re lucky she only broke her arm.”

“I – I bumped into someone and accidentally caused that chain effect! I just didn’t say anything because I knew people would blame me and hate me, just like now, and I didn’t want –”

“Long story short?” Ladybug takes a step towards Lila and tilts her head with her frostiest glare. “Stay away from Adrien and Marinette. Stay away from Luka and Kagami. I really don’t care if others still want to be your friend after this, but you’ll leave those four and their friends alone. Understand?”

“Ladybug, I –”

“Understand?’

Lila swallows and clenches her fists, her olive eyes blazing with sheer hatred for a second before she looks down and starts fake-sniffling. Honestly, Ladybug can’t give half a damn if Lila loathes her.

“I understand,” Lila says. “I’m sorry for being such an inconvenience. I understand that you don’t want to associate with me anymore.”

Ladybug just raises an eyebrow. With a sniff, Lila tosses her hair and storms off, leaving Rose, Juleka, and Alix blinking as they try to process the confrontation that had just happened. Even Petite Souris looks floored, though Ladybug can’t fathom why. Do they believe her? Hopefully not. But Lila does know what strings to pull, and no one wants to believe that someone’s evil – especially not a teenage girl – so Ladybug doesn’t even know anymore. And right now, with Chat Noir’s identity and post-battle exhaustion to deal with as the adrenaline drains out of her, she honestly can’t even care.

“Good job, everyone,” Ladybug says quietly. “Tonight, eight o’clock, at the Eiffel Tower. We need to talk this out.”

Honeybee clears her throat and raises her hand. “Um,” she says. “I’m sure I could arrange an empty suite at Da – uh, at Mayor Bourgeois’ hotel. Just for us superheroes and stuff, so we’ve got a safe place to meet and chill. He’d make sure that it was off-limits to everyone else and that Hawkdick wouldn’t know about it, if he said it was for m – uh, his daughter.”

“You’re not fooling anyone, Chloé,” Alix mutters, too quiet for the other bystanders to hear. Honeybee immediately flips her off.

“That’s really considerate of you, Honeybee,” Ladybug says. “You’ve come a long way.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” Honeybee says. “Just go away and detransform, alright? We can still meet at the Tower and go from there.” Before she leaves, she makes a beeline for Chat Noir and throws her arms around him, then kisses his cheek. “You’ll be okay, Adrichat?”

Chat Noir nods and squeezes Honeybee’ biceps. “Yeah. Thanks, Chlo. See you tonight.”

“Um,” Petite Souris pipes up, clutching at her pendant. “My Miraculous? I have to give it back?”

“No,” Chat Noir says, bouncing on the balls of his feet, no doubt anxious to go and check on Luka. “You passed the test, we trust you to give it back, so on. Just meet us here tonight.”

“Even though I totally messed up?”

“You did well for your first akuma,” Ladybug says firmly. “Especially one as chaotic and strong as Sanguisuga. You got two civilians out of harm’s way and allowed Chat Noir to focus on the battle.”

Petite Souris’s brown eyes light up. “Oh! Okay!” she says. With that, she and Honeybee take off in parallel paths, while Rena Rouge and Carapace split from each other and head in opposite directions. Ladybug, Chat Noir, and Ryuuko head for the Eiffel Tower to detransform under cover.

“Oh my god.” Adrien collapses against Marinette and clings to her like she’s a buoy in the middle of the ocean. “They know, Mari, they know. What am I gonna do now? I can’t stop being Chat Noir. I can’t. Please, you can’t let him take it from me –”

“Hey. Hey. Just breathe.” Marinette strokes Adrien’s back softly, soothingly, trying to ground him against the panic attack she can feel wracking his body, turning his breaths hoarse and shallow. “We won’t, okay? We’ll get through this. We won’t let him take your ring. We won’t let Hawkmoth target your father.”

“This is a Ladybug and Chat Noir matter. I’m going to go and check on Luka,” Kagami whispers. Marinette shoots her a thumbs-up and nods, then guides Adrien down so that they’re sitting on the cool concrete against one of the thick Tower legs. Tikki and Plagg dart out and snuggle between Adrien and Marinette once they’ve made sure that the coast is clear.

“You’re not gonna lose me, kid,” Plagg says. “I’ll damn well fight if Fu tries to take me.”

“I agree,” Tikki says. “It’s not ideal that Hawkmoth knows your secret identity, but you and Marinette have developed a unique bond since your first day as partners. Trying to replace you would throw off that dynamic and could impair Marinette in turn. Even if he did give the ring to Luka or Kagami, it wouldn’t be too much of a stretch for Hawkmoth to assume that one of them was the new Black Cat because of their relationships with you and Marinette.”

“And he can’t take my Miraculous either,” Marinette says. “Bringing in a new Ladybug and Chat Noir while Hawkmoth’s growing stronger…as Chloé would say, that’s ridiculous. Utterly ridiculous!”

Adrien forces out a weak laugh at that. “Still not up to us,” he rasps. “If Fu says –”

“Screw him,” Plagg says. “We’re the ancient cosmic beings, not him. I choose to stay with you.”

“Maybe we should just go and see him before you start panicking too much,” Tikki says. “We can work out a solution together, alright? But I’m with Plagg: I refuse to let him be taken away from you. Understand?”

Adrien snorts at that, but he still reaches up to stroke Tikki and Plagg with two fingers. “I understand. Thanks, guys. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Now we just have to figure out how to get you to Master Fu’s place without people swarming you,” Marinette jokes.

“Why, princess, it’s as though you doubt my cat-like skills.”

“You’re such a dork, Adrien!”

[twilightvolt]

And so, another year has come to pass.....almost. ^  ^

Remember when i said i was branching away from Digimon back when i drew up Venom fanart? y’know, “I wanted to be more than what i used to be.” that being “a Digimon artist.”

2019 was basically just that. lots and lots and LOTS of fandom hopping.

If last year was me recovering from the pain and crippling anxiety of 2017, then this year was me finally getting up again, learning to stand up and live for myself rather than in fear of those i shouldn’t care about anymore. life still hasn’t been too kind to me even though, compared to last year, we’re in a better space. but i’ll get into more detail about that while i go through everything month by month on the clock.

Before we begin, if you’d like to see the previous years, here’s the links!

2018:https://twilightvolt.tumblr.com/post/181732950569/i-kinda-was-saving-this-for-when-i-had-the-time-to

2017:https://twilightvolt.tumblr.com/post/171806337539/a-3-month-late-art-summary-featuring-art-that-i

Might wanna grab your popcorn, my dudes. this is a long one.

January: On the Web

Coming out of 2018, things were pretty ok if i remember. i don’t remember much from this month aside from a few doodles i did like this one from when Spiderverse was the hottest thing. this was one of the last things i drew in my old style. before i decided to officially change things up in the next month.

February: Gotta Kick it Up

Pokemon Sword & Shield were announced and things were hype! oh, how things soured as the months went by. lol

But yeah, this was me taking that experimental sketchy pencil style from that Smash Bros. drawing and rolling with it all the way! it’s become my new go-to style and even though it’s still hella sketchy at times, i feel like it looks better in comparison to my old ink outlined drawings.

March: The Overdrive Dweebanoids

Oh right. my old Ben 10 phase that lasted for a millisecond in 2016 returned with a vengeance. and it was glorious. lmao

It spawned an AU that i didn’t delve into much, but if i ever get that spark for my favorite alien watch bearer, i’ll get back to it.

April: True Blue Lizard Bois

My Ben 10 streak continues and i was crankin’ out art left and right for it. i luved all the “doodle dumps” i made, but this drawing was wholesome and i picked it because of that.

To some extent, this could be a comparison between my past and my present. that being Overdrive!Ben being what, at the time, was my current obsession while Digimon!Vivi was a representation of where i used to be, back when i was starting out and entering Digimon OCTs on Deviantart.

May: Return to the Realm of Sleep ~HD ReMIX

Now THIS i feel was one of the grandest drawings i’ve done this year. hell, i even made a wallpaper out of it.

like, it was just a redraw of an old drawing from 2017. but to me, it was a way to tell me just how far i’ve come since then. and i couldn’t be happier.

This was also the month i rebooted my DA after a long time of inactivity!

....Iiiit didn’t really work much, but i’m still working on it. though i highly doubt it’s worth it considering most of the ones i used to hang with there are either people i don’t wanna associate with or people who left while i was gone. seriously, it’s a ghost town there.

June: Art Fight 2019 ~Dreams Vs. Nightmares~

Ahh, my second year of Art Fight. for this year’s event, i wanted to be a tad more grandiose. like drawing up this banner. i like being extra and stuff even if it kills my drawing hand, so yeah. lmao

...

Florida thunderstorms are friggin’ terrifying. idk HOW anyone can get used to that.

July: - BREAK DOWN -

Oookay, it was hard picking my favorite attack this year cuz i pretty much was satisfied with all of them. but i had to go with this attack because the artist i drew it for was someone i really admired for years and i’m just happy i could finally have an opportunity to draw them something. like, i luv how it came out, so yeah.

This was also the month i forced myself to finally do the thing and let go of the constant fear i felt towards certain people i used to hang with. while remembering 2017 will never NOT hurt, i can’t let that fear rule over me forever. i have to take control and not let it stop me from doing what i want. and that’s exactly what i did.

August: Ricky ~Sapphire, Emerald and AlphaSapphire

Oh yeah! after Art Fight ended, i returned to Pokemon randomly cuz i wanted to go back to my roots for a moment. revamping Ricky, formerly Ragna, and Yagami was something i’ve been meaning to do for awhile and it reignited a waning love for a series i started growing distant towards since Gen VII.

I used to really like Ricky’s old design even though i barely ever used him. but i guess this just shows how much more original i’ve gotten in terms of character design. ^  ^

September: Heartbeat Inferno

Now, i haven’t really talked much about what’s been going on life wise for most of this post, but trust me when i say irl, things weren’t really.....happening. like, it’s hard when you live (or rather, lived now) in a place with little job opportunity and you have NO experience whatsoever. the lack of progression must’ve hit something in me, so the week i drew this was me just....shifting moods, feeling everything at once. one day i’d be agitated as hell, the next i’d be so depressed i took a some odd hour nap and didn’t wanna get out of bed. like, for most of this year, i haven’t felt this stressed out and frustrated with myself. so this sudden crash was kind of....unwelcome.

But this drawing was a fresh change though, if i’m being honest. i’m not usually this uncaring about how clean the coloring job is, but i like it! i’d choose that other drawing i did for my friends’ birthdays, Skirmish at the Cable Club, but this one had a more personal drive behind it.

October: - PAPERMOON -

beastarsbeastarsbeASTARSBEASTARS--*COUGH COUGH AHEM* I MEAN....hai. :D

Continuing with my Pokemon shenanigans, i drew this big piece which was something i had in my head for years now, but never actually acted upon it cuz i always felt it was too big of an idea to work on. i’m happy i’ve managed to capture what i envisioned originally.

As for interests, i’m sure most of my current followers can deduce that i quickly shifted gears to Beastars as soon as the anime was released and so far, i regret nothing. it’s spawned a metric butt ton of new art from me and the way i see it, this phase ain’t stopping as long as this series continues. brace yourselves fam, i believe i’ve finally found the successor to my Digimon phase. lmao

Like, damn, i had a tough time choosing art for this month. i was stuck between this, - SMILE/WILD SIDE - and Slip Into Madness. so many good drawings i was satisfied with, y’know?

November: The Future is Now

I was SO planning on putting something else here, but then suddenly i just kinda had this urge to redraw that uggo gouache painting of Miyagi from highschool. and it turned out so good that i had to. like, really. lmao

As with the redraw of Dream Drop Digital’s key art, it was a reminder of how far i’ve come since then art wise. and i feel like i’ve accomplished so much this year because of it. ;w;

December: Winter Lights

And now we’re back to the present time. after over a year or so of living in Florida, we’ve moved once again back up north a bit. yet another clean slate, but things seem to be looking up despite the rather large bumps in the road the past week or so. lately i’ve been feeling that seasonal depression starting to set in, but i think i’ll be fine as long as i stay positive. cuz y’know, it’s not being happy all the time. it’s just knowing that things will get better someday.

One of the other reasons i drew this drawing was cuz i REALLY wanted to have something Beastars related on this clock. this series (and Legoshi in particular) really inspired me, so i had to leave a wedge open for my boi.

Looking back at the beginning of this decade (as 2020 would mark the next one), i realized that the 2010′s were basically me becoming more artsy. finding enjoyment for a new hobby that quickly became something i’m now more passionate about than video games which i didn’t think would EVER be the case.

Funny enough, it all started in the RP section of a little forum for an MMO called Wizard101. i was only in middle school at the time and, to tell you the truth, i had no idea i’d be going at it for this long. thought i’d just do it on the side but not really delve into the art world more.

But despite all the trips and falls, fandom drama or otherwise, i wouldn’t change anything if it meant i wouldn’t have the friends who’ve stuck by me in the aftermath of those times.

I may not be really succeeding in much, but it’s the small steps in life that matter most in the end. these past few months in particular was me getting fed up with feeling sorry for myself for not doing the things i was interested in in the past, getting over my regret and making plans for starting something new even though i know i’ll suck at first and not worrying so much about how others might perceive me.

And just like how life was changing for our resident grey wolf this first season, mine seems to be doing the same. and i believe this decade ended on a better note than i thought it would during the past couple years leading up to this.

Here’s to a new decade! ^  ^

~ For a future I want to believe in. ~

[ideahat-universe]

Bad, Good, Grey entertainment

Okay so there’s been a lot of pedo talk about various forms of entertainment and I want to set the record straight on what we are dealing with here. 

Toddler’s and Tiaras/Dance Moms/Little Miss Sunshine/ and Honey Boo Boo probably:

No one with empathy for children or just humanity in general liked those shows. Those shows were popular and went on for several seasons because the production costs were low and the reality television audience is very passive, very addicted to drama, and love watching freak shows. 

You can’t find a audience more entertained by human suffering than the people that love watching reality shows. 

The success of those shows is not an indictment of America, especially Little Miss Sunshine which is a movie that no one has seen. If you defend Cuties by saying that Little Miss Sunshine had something like that in the third act I have to respond with “No one who isn’t a hipster douchebag or a film reviewer has seen the ending to that film”

Normal people don’t watch shit like that. Do you even remember the trailers? I do! I saw a review for it either and it looked like the cure for insomnia. 

The average person thinks Honey Boo Boo was the worst, they think dance moms is for sociopaths who like seeing little girls cry, and they think Toddler’s and Tiara’s are for pedophiles. 

Big Mouth: 

Big Mouth is a coming of age show for adults and it seems mostly like a thinly veiled excuse to watch westernized lolita and shota soft core porn, it might be that but the big problem with calling Big Mouth fans pedos is that big Mouth is basically like every other raunchy adult comedy, including the sacred cow South Park. 

There’s not a lot of stuff that Big Mouth has done that South Park hasn’t also done and in standard American fashion the art style is more repulsive than endearing and good hentai lives and dies on how well the human body is drawn. 

You have to have a strong understanding of the human anatomy just so you can bend those rules for unrealistic proportions and still have people invested in the quality of your work. It’s real fucking work drawing good looking pornography. 

Big Mouth isn’t drawn like a show that loves the human body. It’s drawn like a show that kind of sees the body as something gross and it’s half played off for laughs while the other half is reassurance that you’re relatively normal. 

If you were going to make a show about a subject matter like this, you probably can’t do worse than Big Mouth and you probably can’t do any better either. 

Cuties:

Cuties exist supposedly as a way to spark a conversation about how we sexualize young girls. It’s from France so it’s probably more relevant there than it is here but not many people are making that argument. I would make that argument though. After all, France is where the infamous novel “Lolita” was originally published (although to be fair it was written by a Russian). 

French culture is extremely sex positive and the plot is about a Somalian girl acclimating to a dance group that would only exist in the western world and would have the most acceptance in France. 

The mass immigration of people from the Middle East created a culture clash in France and other places where people who abandoned religion have to butt heads with people for whom religion is basically everything. 

Sexuality is condemned in fundamentalist Islamic culture, especially the sexuality of women. I could go on for awhile talking about my theories why and how it speaks to a series of social, emotional, and mental disorders hidden within the members of the Islamic faith but that’s a conversation for a different subject. 

America has problems with sex and sexuality but lets face it, if the Somalian girl was Christian instead of Muslim and set in America there wouldn’t be a film or alternatively there would be a film but it would just be Mean Girls. 

Most stories about sexuality and coming of age is usually about riding that line between being liberated but not so far out that you fall in with bad people who want to exploit your sexuality for profit, physically abuse you for pleasure, or give you a disease that will forever lower your quality of life if not be the lead cause of your own death. 

Many stories of sex are about the regret of even having it or having had it with the wrong people or refusing to have it with the right one until it was too late. 

The real question is “Is Cuties truly a satire of french culture?” 

It can’t be satire of American culture because the abuse of children is met with public derision and disgust when it’s brought to their attention. America is still very religious and the inherently conservative nature of islamic culture can fit within America with only modifications to how it views the concept of punishment for breaking religious rules. 

In order for Cuties to be a commentary on how America sees the sexuality of girls it would have to be pro pedophilia because the antagonist that’s being criticized would be the religious faith and not the hedonism of the Cuties. 

This can however be an critique on how France’s sexual openess is just an excuse for debauchery and sexual exploitation. 

Only the French can say for sure or not, I can’t say if that’s a fair critique, my investigations has led to people affirming that French people are “More honest about romance and sex” which is distressingly vague given the subject matter but I don’t know where the french draw the line so I’ll leave it at that. 

In any case the production of the film regardless of intent is child abuse. Either they exploited the pre-existing sexuality of young girls or they sexualized young girls specifically for the film. Effectively grooming them to be sex pots for the purposes of authenticity. They had hundreds of kids tryout for this as well. 

How many of those children have been raped before or during the production of the film? Even when a child is being hired for a G rated kid’s film or show there’s still a high chance that someone on set, in the studio, or in Hollywood has sexually touched the kids, sometimes with the consent of the parents (I mean the parents get all the money, if you were a selfish prick willing to make your child famous so you could get rich, would you care if Dan Schneider touched your daughter?) 

It’s massively irresponsible at best and at worst, part of the film’s message relied on throwing actual little girl’s into the lion’s den to make a point about how immoral and corrupt french people are. 

It got an award at Sundance. The co-founder of Sundance is a confirmed pedophile. If the intent of the film is to oust french people and non religious people as nonces and nonce enablers well mission accomplished I guess! 

I’ve never seen a film throw everyone that liked it under the bus. 

Well. Does Freddy Got Fingered count? I digress. 

That’s the conversation one is supposed to have about Cuties. I get really fucking annoyed when people say “we need to have a conversation about this.” or “it’s a conversation starter.” but they don’t really initiate a conversation and they use that phrase to end the conversation they are currently in so it’s a lot of bullshit. 

We’re done talking about Cuties but we’re not done here yet. 

Hololive:

Some person named Brittany made some video where she took shots at Shark hololive girl. Said the person was Lolibait and that she had an audience of 40 year old men. 

Where does one begin?

Apparently this person has done this before. I keep thinking of Jessica Valenti which is another person so clearly what this person did or does has been lost to me. I can only assume it involved gamergate or Donald Trump because all roads lead to those two subjects for some bizarre reason. 

But that’s the past. Right now is what matters and right now you can’t just make a video saying that someone makes content exclusively for pedophiles which is what she did. That was some Keemstar level shit right there and I’m under the impression no one will make her regret that choice. Everybody always talks about actions having consequences but it appears like only certain people suffer from the consequences. 

But we’ll see. 

She talked about Hololive like it was another Project Melody. Unfortunately for her it’s not, It’s a real business and a real business is designed to deal with defamation in a serious way so things could get ugly if Yagoo actually thinks his ladies are being threatened by drama mongers. 

These vtubers are doing really well. Pokimane deciding to become a vtuber that is just her normal self but animated is boomer level imitation and extremely funny. 

The appeal isn’t that they’re animated by the way, the appeal is that they’re fun people doing streams. The animation works by letting the audience create a para social relationship with a fictional character of sorts so that the actress can have a private life while still maintaining a streaming setup that’s very personable for the audience. 

This is a meaningful evolution of an online persona.

The only real downside is that anyone who wanted to have an animated avatar in general will be defined as a vtuber when that may not be the intention of the streamer. 

I’m just waiting for one of these girls to be part of an ARG. 

Okay so to wrap up:

Reality shows are trash and always have been.

Indie Films are also trash and only pretentious douche bags like them. 

What happens in France should stay in France. 

and Hololive is GOAT but tragedy of the commons is still a thing. 

[jazzyhazzy]

Girls Like You - Chapter Twenty - Miracle Aligner

Miracle Aligner - The Last Shadow Puppets

So what’s the wish, he’ll make it come true Simple as a line out of a doo wop tune He’ll make the moves

“C’mere” I sniff, patting the bed next to me and doing my best to suppress the memory, but I just have such a vivid mental picture in my head, of Harry sitting in the bed behind me, my back against his front, his arms around me, my fingers gripping his legs as I was forced to push.

Blair’s P.O.V

Sleep evades him, I can feel his restlessness throughout the night as he tosses and turns only inches away from me. It keeps me up, not that sleep wasn’t evading me also. I want to touch him, and hold him, make him feel better in any way that I can, but I hesitate, unsure if he would let me or not.

I face him in the bed, watching him as he dozes, his mouth ajar and warm breaths tickling my skin. Harry looks so peaceful, I never want to wake him and have to see him so stressed out and distressed again. He’s been through more than enough in the past few years, it feels like we just can’t catch a break.

Sighing heavily, I peek over his shoulder at the clock on his bedside table, it tells me that it’s only 2:38am, and I slump back down into my pillow, wishing the 24 hour wait would be over already so we knew if any of us were eligible to donate some of our liver to save Anne’s life. 

I know how much Harry wants it to be him, after what Robin said to him yesterday, he interpreted it the only way he knew how to, and that meant that he now blamed himself entirely for all of this, when that isn’t the case at all. Anne would be so upset if she knew he thought that way. It even upsets me, but no matter what I tell him, he won’t listen or think any differently. None of this is his fault, he already has the weight of the world on his shoulders, he hates disappointing their fans as well. I know the interruption to the tour will be on his mind as well, he’ll feel bad for letting the boys down too, and their management. 

All I can do is be here for him, be a rock and offer my support because he needs me.

What feels like only moments later, but is actually hours later, Harry gently wakes me, shaking my shoulder lightly. I stretch my body out, and open one eye. Light is just starting to peek through the cracks in the curtains and Harry’s face is hovering over me. 

“What time is it?” I croak, my voice still raw from sleep, I wrangle my arms free from the bed sheets and wrap them around his frame, pulling him down on top of me with force that surprises him. His muscles release and he nuzzles into the crook of my neck, hiding there. 

He doesn’t answer my question, so I glance over at the clock again, it’s 6:30am. Early as all hell, but I know he is desperate to get back to his Mum. Harry will want to be there before she wakes up, but I want to keep him safe here for a while longer. 

I keep the silence, opting to tickle patterns across his back and sides, showing him that I’m here, rather than speaking the words. If he weren’t so anxious and worried, he may have fallen asleep on me, and I wouldn’t have complained, but alas, we both know that we need to get up and face the day, no matter what news it may bring us. 

A small peppering of kisses is left on my neck, his hair tickling the side of my face. “Thank you for being here” he whispers, lifting his head to lock eyes with me. I reach up a hand to pet a knuckle under his chin, “There’s nowhere I’d rather be” I assure him, lifting my chin up so he can kiss me. Once, twice, three times. I love you, he’s telling me.

We get showered and dressed, grabbing whatever is at the top of the bag that I packed for us both, I wear black leggings and steal one of Harry’s long sleeve plain grey tops, rolling up the sleeves and chucking on my white converse, the only pair of shoes I bought with me. Harry throws on some black gym shorts and a grey hoodie over his white t-shirt, with his trainers. 

I don’t bother with makeup, just throwing my hair up into a messy ponytail and leaving it at that, there are much more important things to care about currently. We meet Gemma in the lobby and she shakes her head, pointing to the front door.

Camera’s. Of course. 

They must have been tipped off, what shitty people would feel the need to do such a thing at a time like this. Why can’t they just respect our privacy for once instead of shoving a camera in someones face when they’re hurting. 

“Let’s just go. I don’t have time for this shit.” Harry growls, grabbing my hand and pushing the door open, I grab Gemma’s hand and we form a bit of a chain, Harry dragging us through before breaking into  a run to the entrance of the hospital, security already waiting at the doors to let us in. 

I know straight away that Harry won’t want to talk about it, or even mention it, so Gem and I just follow behind him as he storms the whole way to Anne’s room. Peeking his head around the corner to see if she’s awake, he’s disappointed when he sees her awake, already sitting up in bed, absent-mindedly doing a crossword while Robin snores quietly in the seat beside her. 

When we all enter the room she looks up and her face illuminates, though it’s not easy to reciprocate her happiness genuinely, given the situation. “Hello my loves” she greets us, her voice hoarse. “Hey mum” Harry tries his best to sound happy, but it doesn’t sound honest, he’s irritable and on edge.

The day is spent much like that, we all make small talk, and avoid talking about the thing that is on all of our minds. Will any of us be a match?

What happens if none of us are a match?

How much longer will we be able to bask in the warm presence of Anne?

Anne tries to talk to Harry about the tour, apologising for causing all of this drama, having read about it in the paper this morning. “Remind me to tell the nurses not to give you any papers or magazines” he grumbles, not even looking at the paper, just leaving his seat, and throwing it straight in the rubbish bin before leaving the room to go across the hall to the nurses station. 

“Don’t apologise, he just wants to be here with you” I comfort her, squeezing her hand and feeling an immense wave of guilt that she could die very soon, and I failed at giving her a grandchild before this happened. She nods, but she’s Harry is so much like his mother, she will sit on this feeling and feel guilty about it still. 

The boys want Harry to be here, I don’t need them to tell me that, I just know. They understand, their fans should understand, and he will bend over backwards to make it up to them. Of course he would rather be on tour, than have to be here with his sick mum. Of course he’d rather worry about sound checks and outfit changes than have to constantly think about about whether or not his Mum will be alive to see the sun come up tomorrow morning. 

***

It’s after dinner time when the doctors come to visit again, and the moment we’ve all been waiting for, for the past 24 hours is finally here at last. Why the hell does it take so long to get a result like this? Do they not know that someones life hangs in the balance?

My stomach rumbles in anticipation, none of us have touched any food, as a precautionary measure in case one of us is a match, we need to have not eaten before surgery. Although it has made all of us rather crabby, Harry in particular. I’m definitely feeling a bit of an attitude coming on.

“Anne, how are you feeling?” the Clooney doctor asks. Yeah, I’ve noticed. He’s a total silver fox. And his wee minion won’t stop staring at Harry with those adoring puppy dog eyes. I’m so cranky I just imagine head butting her. Which is totally un-ladylike but damn have some respect, thats my man and his mum is dying and she’s here, undressing him with her eyes. 

I clear my throat, and her gaze flickers to me, catching me watching her before she looks down at the floor. I turn my attention back to the doctor, my butt on the edge of my seat and my hand clasped mega tightly in Harry’s, his anticipation is palpable. 

“I’m sorry, but do you have the results?” Gemma butts in, interrupting routine questions. I can’t blame her to be honest, we’ve been patient enough, but we want to know. “Gem-” Anne goes to scold her for being rude, but she decides against it, sinking back into her pillows, exhausted and weak. 

Clooney doctor holds up Anne’s medical chart, flicking over a few pages to get to the information we’ve all been waiting for. “Ah yes, right here… let me see…” he ponders, his eyes scanning over the results, deciphering whether one of us can be the lifeline Anne so desperately needs, or if she will fade away before our eyes. There’s no question that whoever the match is - assuming there is one - will consent to the transplant surgery.

Everyone’s breathing is hitched in their throats, except for Anne, who’s breathing rattles in her chest. I feel like I’m watching a show like the X-factor, where the host just takes forever to announce the winner, and then goes straight to an ad break before even announcing. 

“It seems as though we have a match!” Clooney doctor announces, a triumphant smile on his face. His intern girl smiles warmly, and we all release the breaths we have been holding. Smiles all around, hands reaching to Anne, squeezing her hands, shoulders, kisses on her forehead. Harry watches the doctor carefully, “Who’s the match?” Anne asks, timidly. I can already tell that she doesn’t want it to be Harry. Feeling bad enough for taking him away from his tour, she would hate to have to keep him out of the game any longer, recovering from an organ donation. 

“Miss Waters, you are the only positive match, everyone else came up negative.” 

My breath gets trapped in my wind pipe once again, this seems like a regular occurrence, I just can’t seem to remember how to breathe today. 

Harry turns to me, gripping my hand, hard. “Blair-”

“How soon can we do it?” I cut him off, there is no time to waste.

“Wait-”

“I haven’t touched food in over 24 hours, only had water.” 

Clooney’s eyebrows raise, impressed by my prior preparation. “Well, there’s really no reason to wait, the sooner we can perform the transplant, the better.” He turns to his intern, “Book O.R 2 and make sure my favourite scrub nurse is available, admit Miss Waters and prep both her and Anne for surgery.” instructing, her, she wastes no time before darting off and fulfilling the instructions she is given.

Harry stands up, agitated. Lost. He looks at his Mum, and then to me, before storming out of the room without a single word. My heart drops a little in my chest, how can he be angry right now, when I can save Anne, when there’s now a fighting chance that she will pull through this. 

“I’ll go” Gemma says, kissing Anne on the temple and squeezing my hand in a thank you, before rushing out of the room after her distraught brother. Maybe he needs her more than me right now, and that’s absolutely fine, because I need to be admitted, and someone needs to feed Harry so he can snap out of this. 

Once Gemma is gone, I look up to see both Robin and Anne staring at me, wordlessly. I move to the seat Harry was in, right beside her and I grab a hold of her cool hand. “Don’t you even bother trying to talk me out of this young lady” I jokingly scold her, and she smiles, now hopeful. 

“I could never ask you to do something like this for me Blair, but thank you. Thank you. I love you, darling.” she whispers, petting my head soothingly as I rest it on the side of her bed, worried about Harry. 

This isn’t even something I need to think about, I wold give anything, do anything, be anything for the people I love, and this transplant is something I would do in a heartbeat, especially because it means saving a life. Not just any life either. I don’t consider the risks, or any complications, all I can think, is that I need to do this for Anne. Because a world without Anne is not a world I care to live in. 

“Don’t you let a drop of alcohol touch my healthy liver, do you hear me?” I wink at Anne, and she shakes her head in shame. “I’m so sorr-” I hear her begin to crumble and I won’t allow it. I need her to be strong as well, because if Harry see’s her crumble, he will crumble himself, and he’s already upset enough. “No apologies, okay? Just promise me” I demand, holding my pinky finger up to show her I’m not messing around with this particular pact.

She locks her finger with mine, and promises me, not another drop. 

Once I’m admitted, they leave a gown on my bed and close the curtains around me to give me some privacy. I’m not in the same room as Anne right now, but they’ve promised to put us together once we’re out of recovery.

I just got off the phone to my own mum, and she cried. A lot. Naturally, she’s worried sick, but I’ve given her Harry’s number so she can harass him for updates. She was more just proud of me than anything, proud that I would give up something like this for someone I love. But I don’t see it that way, I’m not giving anything up, my liver will be fine, I’m giving Harry’s mum another chance at life. I’m giving us the opportunity to have more time with an incredible woman in our lives. I feel guilty about putting my mum through the worry, but I had to tell her before, otherwise she would have flown over and killed me if I left it until after.

Sliding off my bed, I kick my shoes off, placing them under the seat next to my bed. I peel off my leggings, throwing them on the chair and shrugging out of Harry’s top that I’ve been wearing. I hold the gown up in front of me and look at it in disgust. God they are ugly gowns.

As I’m removing my bra and sliding the gown onto my arms, the curtains open a crack and I jump in fright, doing my best to cover myself up. “Only me” Harry murmurs, quietly, and I chuckle, turning my back to him and lifting up my hair. “Can you tie me up so I’m not flashing my bum to the whole hospital” I joke. He doesn’t smirk, or laugh or anything. He’s dead serious and I feel my mouth turn down in the corners. How can he be so sad? We have a way of saving Anne, he should be celebrating. I’m trying to be positive about this all, because the only other option is to start winding myself up about the operation. 

I sigh, growing irritated with him as I walk away and jump into my bed, pulling the covers up to my waist and fiddling with the bed controls so I’m sitting up instead of lying flat. “Can’t you just be happy, Harry? You should be jumping for joy” I point out, I’m saving his mothers life, and he’s too busy sulking about it. 

His head snaps up and he stares at me, “The last time I saw you in a hospital bed-” he doesn’t finish, just collapsing into the chair next to my bed and holding his head in his hands. The last time I was in a hospital bed, I was giving birth to our stillborn daughter. I suddenly feel so awful for being so hard on him, he’s been through so much, hospitals must provoke so many awful memories. We’ve been in here our fair share of times. 

“C’mere” I sniff, patting the bed next to me and doing my best to suppress the memory, but I just have such a vivid mental picture in my head, of Harry sitting in the bed behind me, my back against his front, his arms around me, my fingers gripping his legs as I was forced to push. 

Harry lifts himself out of the chair and sits on the edge of my bed, I pull him back so he’s leaning back beside me. I search his eyes, and all I can find is hurt and  fear, he’s scared for Anne, and now he’s scared for me as well. “M’sorry” he whispers, his face close to mine, our foreheads touching. “I know this isn’t easy, but think about what this means… Anne will live through this, she’ll get to meet Edgar and Frankie” I smile at the thought of my babies, Sav has been sending me pictures every time they do anything remotely cute. 

“And someday, she’ll be able to meet her grandkids.” I say, seriously. Harry moves his face back to better study my face. “We don’t have to think about that right now” he frowns, as if he doesn’t like the idea of it. As if it leaves a sour taste in his mouth. He is simply afraid, I can see that. 

“What you’re doing for mum… are you… are you sure about this?” 

“Don’t be absurd Harry, I’m saving your mum’s life, there is not a single doubt in my mind that I am doing the right thing! How could you even ask me that?” I shake my head at him in disbelief. He wouldn’t hesitate to do the same thing if the situation were reversed. 

“I’m sorry… my head is everywhere.” he apologises, and I press a kiss to his forehead, rubbing his shoulder, “Shhh, baby it’s okay, everything is going to be fine, you’ll see”

We lay in bed talking for twenty minutes or so, before the nurses finally come in the prep me for my surgery and take me up to the Operating Room. Anne won’t be too far behind, but they actually have to harvest the liver from me before they can start on her. Harry sits patiently in the chair beside the bed until its time to take me up. He walks the whole way with me, and we stop outside the doors where he has to stay behind. 

He is an absolute mess, the wait is going to be agony for him, and I’m too worried about him to even think about my own nerves. This is just a routine procedure. Harry grabs my hand and holds it to the side of his face, I watch a tear escape his eye and run down his cheek, I feel the moisture on the back of my hand, imagining the salty taste of it. I need to be strong for him, show him that there is nothing to worry about. 

“Everything’s going to be fine! Go grab some lunch with Gem and Robin and I’ll be back before you know it” I smile up at him, thinking how every girl should get a man who loves her even when she’s got an operating gown on and a giant hair net with zero makeup. “Thank you… for this, for everything. I love you.” he whispers, leaning down to kiss me, once, twice, three times. 

“Love you more” I respond, as they start to wheel me away from him, “Impossible!” he calls out after me, and I smirk and shake my head at him. He waves slowly at me as I get further and further away, until I he disappears from sight. 

Suddenly I am all alone, and it dawns on me what I am about to do. I hadn’t given it any thought until now, agreeing to this was a no brainer, of course I would give anything to save Anne, but the thought of being put under and being cut open does terrify me a little. I worry about the pain, but I don’t ask any questions as they push me through into the operating room, I move from my bed onto the operating table, and it is firm and cold beneath me. 

I lie back and do my best to focus on my breathing, keeping it regular and calm. Clooney doctor appears over my head and I manage a nervous smile up at him. Hopefully he didn’t bring his intern in here with me, she might try to kill me to free up Harry. 

“Feeling fine?” he asks me, and I nod, not quite managing to find any words right now. I just want all of this to be over. I want to be with my pups and hold my god-daughter and laugh with my friends and have hot sex with the love of my life. I just need to get through this and then I can get on with all of that. 

“Alright, we’ll proceed. Blair, can you count back from ten for me please”

“Ten” I think about Gemma, her frantic call to me, where all of this began.

“Nine” The shock of finding out about Anne’s alcoholism. 

“Eight” Watching Harry’s face falter as he see’s his mum, dying.

“Seven” Holding Harry in bed as he wept, blaming himself for this mess.

“Six” Talking with Anne all day, laughing, crying, reminiscing.

“Five” Finding out I was the only eligible donor, and not giving it a second thought before agreeing. 

“Four” Finally telling Harry that I still want to have babies with him, sometime in the future. 

“Three” Only minutes ago, Harry kissing me once, twice, three times.

“Two” I forget the rest, everything falls away as I feel myself slipping under.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Any fics about hair? Whether it’s hair care or hair pulling, I don’t mind.

Hi Nonny!

Ah, I don’t have very many that deal SPECIFICALLY with hair, but more like hair is within the plot or one of the boys loves the hair! So here’s what I can remember; I know there’s another that’s 100% about hair (Sherlock wants to taste John’s hair and doesn’t know how to ask) and I can’t remember which one it is and it’s bugging me LOL. Anyway, here you are, everything that showed up in a search. I’ll also add Beard Fics too:

HAIR & BEARDS

See also: John Has a Beard

Upon Reflection, Tenable Frippery by emmagrant01 (T, 1,299 w., 1 Ch. || Post-S4, John’s Beard, First Kiss, Fluff) – John was, inexplicably, growing a beard.

Untouched by KittieHill (E, 3,239 w., 1 Ch. || Kissing, Frottage, Virgin Sherlock, Body Worship, Sherlock’s Scars Mentioned, Masturbation, PWP, Rimming, Multiple Orgasms) – Sherlock leaked a lot. John had never needed lubricant. John loved watching it, had once spent an entire afternoon edging Sherlock so he could watch as the thick precome drip, drip, dripped onto Sherlock’s belly.

Love and Hair Dye by Anonymous (E, 3,920 w., 1 Ch. || Est. Rel., Body Worship, Self Conscious John, Voyeurism, Idiots in Love, Smutty Smut) – Self conscious John decides to cover the greys on his head, and the colour isn’t what he thought it would be. Now he’s more self-conscious than ever.

The Oolong Disaster by unicornpoe (T, 4,151 w., 1 Ch. || John’s Beard, Fluff, Humour, Frustrated Sherlock, John Takes Care of Sherlock, Case Fic-ish, Pining Sherlock, First Kiss, Possessive Sherlock) – John has a beard. Sherlock has a panic attack.

If He Knows by shamelessmash (M, 4,513 w., 1 Ch. || TSo3 Fic, Pining Sherlock, Bed Sharing, Angst, Sherlock POV, Texting, Internal Monologue, Blanket Forts) – I imagine mornings: John handing me a cup of tea, hair sticking out at odd angles. How he would bend down to kiss me, smiling fondly as he pulls away. The way his skin crinkles at the corner of his eyes, the way his skin looks in the morning light. The soft sigh as he sits in his chair with the morning paper, the way his toes curl in the carpet, the way he rolls his shoulders before sinking deeper into his seat. I watch him, how he is when he is content, as it should be. As he deserves. Happy. With me.

Facade by distantstarlight (M, 4,715 w., 1 Ch. || Fluff, John’s Beard, No-Shave November, Grumpy Sherlock, Clueless Sherlock) – Sherlock is highly irritated with a challenge John has agreed to undertake. Why does he need to grow a beard anyway?

One Day Like This by nondeducible (E, 4,872 w., 1 Ch. || First Time, Bed-Sharing, Romance, Fluff, Virgin Sherlock) – When Sherlock emerged from the bathroom, the sight before him nearly took his breath away. The only light in the room was the small lamp on the bedside table. John’s skin shone like gold, his hair like the purest silver. He was on his side, facing the empty part of the bed, his outstretched hands ready to embrace whoever climbed in next to him. Sherlock could imagine, just for a second, that this was their shared bed and he was coming back to settle into John’s arms.

Survival Strategies for the Domesticated British Butthole by Atiki (E, 6,183 w., 1 Ch. || Crack, Rimming, Anal Sex, Iced Lolly, Hair Removal, Depilation) – In which there’s a rimming disaster, Sherlock depilates his butt, everything goes very, very wrong and groceries are mistreated. This fic contains hair removal creme in a butthole, ice lollies in a butthole and John Watson’s penis in a butthole. You have been warned.

The Death of Doubt by Gingerhermit (E, 6,584 w., 1 Ch. || Alternate Canon, BAMF John, POV Sherlock, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Hurt/Comfort, Angst/Drama, Meddling Mycroft) – Mycroft asks for John’s help in rescuing Sherlock from his Serbian captors.

The Tip Over Into The Inevitable by ivyblossom (T, 6,894 w., 1 Ch. || Grief, Cuddles, Insomnia, Hurt/Comfort, Friends to Lovers) - When his father dies, Sherlock avoids sleeping. Then discovers he can’t sleep at all. John finds a way to help.

Onomatopoeia by aquabelacqua (M, 6,904 w., 1 Ch. || First Time/Kiss, Frottage, Dirty Talk, Domestics, Word Kink, POV Sherlock, Dry Humping / Sex, Chair Sex, Hair Pulling, Lazy Mornings, Hand Jobs, Friends to Lovers) – Something is the matter with John. Sherlock is determined to figure out what it is. Mark his words.

Beg for Mercy (Twice) by Solitary_Endeavor (E, 7,060 w., 1 Ch. || Est. Rel., Bottomlock, Bearded John, Edging, Rough Sex, Idiots in Love, Canon Compliant) – Sherlock hasn’t left the flat in four days, the itch of impatience beneath his skin too great to allow him to suffer interaction with any human being who isn’t John. This is probably a mercy that goes both ways, as he’s driving even himself mad. Sherlock supposes there is a lesson to be learned here about having himself to blame, but of course he blames Mycroft.

Of Razors, Pipes, Red Notebooks and Rugby Jerseys, Or: Sherlock Doesn’t Like His Doctors Clean Shaven by allonsys_girl (E, 7,313 w., 1 Ch. || Est. Rel., PWP / Porn With Feelings, John’s Beard / Beard Kink, Roleplay, Love Declarations, Banter, Rimming, Anal, Domestic Fluff / Bliss, Idiots in Love, Emotional Lovemaking, Pet Names, Obsessive Sherlock, Sherlock POV, Bottomlock, Cranky Sherlock) – John grows a beard. Sherlock really likes it. Part 1 of Consulting Husbands

Christmas by Anonymous (E, 7,673  w., 1 Ch. || Worried Sherlock, PWP, Drunkeness, Christmas, Est. Relationship, Idiots So In Love) – John feels a lump rise in his throat, and it hits him, again, that this beautiful, infuriating creature is his. Completely, one-hundred percent his.

And if you say the word, I could stay with you by CaitlinFairchild (E, 12,842 w., 1 Ch. || Domestic Fluff, BottomJohn / Topping from the Bottom, Fluff and Romance, Dirty Talk, Proposals) – What Sherlock thinks is, On the day I die, be it in a dirty alley at forty or in my bed at eighty, the last thing I will remember is tonight, the way you looked at at me on the snowy pavement, cheeks pink with the cold, breath puffing in frosty white clouds, your heart in your eyes and snowflakes in your hair. I will remember that single perfect moment in my life, that moment I knew I had everything I ever wanted, and whatever happens next, I will die content. What he says is simply, “Marry me.”

Where Else Would I Be? by cwb (E, 34,910 w., 10 Ch. || Retirementlock, Domestic Fluff, Falling in Love, Parentlock, Fluff and Smut, Reminiscing) – John and Sherlock’s five-year-old granddaughter spends the weekend with them in Sussex. Sherlock happily indulges her whims, and John takes care of them while quietly revisiting the past thirty years of their lives together.

Albion and the Woodsman by Glenmore (NR [E], 54,437 w., 50 Ch. || Post S3, Parentlock, Pining Sherlock, Angst, Family, Drug Use, Depression, Sherlock POV) – Sherlock and John are devastated after Mary Morstan makes her final moves. Sherlock relapses at the crack house, John walks around the world … and a lot happens in between. Parentlock, in the good way.

The Thing Is by TSylvestris (E, 56,743 w., 21 Ch. || Case Fic, Dev. Rel., Anal/Oral, Blow Jobs, Meddling Mycroft, Drama, Romance, Humour, Casual Encounters, Pining Idiots, Possessive Sherlock, Orgasm Delay, Rough / Alley Sex, Public Sex, John Whump, Drugged John, Emotional Love Making, Awkward Relationship, Marriage of Convenience, Switchlock, BAMF John) – The problem with living with Sherlock, John thought, was that you never, never, ever knew the significance of anything. Like your flatmate’s nose buried in your hair. Whilst you’re in bed. Part 1 of Nitroglycerine

A Further Sea by i_ship_an_armada & ShinySherlock (E, 125,492 w., 23 Ch. || Historical Pirates AU || Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Doctor John / Pirate Captain Sherlock, Sailing, UST / RST, Masturbation, Action / Adventure, Mild Angst & Peril, Romance, Shaving, Molly/Janine, Bottomlock, Hand / Blow Jobs, Past Drug Use, Slow Burn, Mild Violence, Facial Shaving, Happy Ending) – Here be a tale of adventure for both body and soul, but beware if ye be not of stout heart, for this be piratelock, ya savvy? Luckless ship’s surgeon John Watson takes a chance, and finds himself eye to eye with The Ghost, the scourge of the seven seas and a definite thorn in the side of the blaggard, James Moriarty. But when John finds there’s more to this most cunning pirate than be meetin’ the eye, he has to choose… is it a pirate’s life for him?

MARKED FOR LATER

Curlock by 88thParallel (G, 1,285 w. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Sherlock’s Hair, Fluff, Ficlet) – How Sherlock learned to control and appreciate the incredible gift he was born with, and the man who helped him sort it out.

Of Razors, Pipes, Red Notebooks and Rugby Jerseys, Or: Sherlock Doesn’t Like His Doctors Clean Shaven by allonsys_girl (E, 7,313 w., 1 Ch. || PWP, Porn With Feelings, John’s Beard, Bottomlock, Domestics, Fluff and Smut, Banter, Declarations of Love, Rimming, Anal, Est. Rel.) – John grows a beard. Sherlock really likes it. Part 1 of Consulting Husbands

How to Sleep with Your Enemy in One Semester by 221b_careful_what_you_wish_for (M, 9,699 w., 6 Ch. || College / Uni Professors AU || Professor John/Sherlock, Enemies to Lovers, Rivalry, Bickering, Office Sex, Blow Jobs, Fluff, Domestics, John’s Beard, Idiots in Love) – Visiting professors John Watson and Sherlock Holmes are longtime academic rivals — and now unwilling office mates — at a prestigious American university. When their tense arguments give way to an undercurrent of mutual attraction, their war of wits turns into something more personal — until it goes off course. A party, a phone number, and deserted office at night might just bring them back together.

[tea-cup-writes]

Two Double Espressos

Fandom: Fire Emblem Fates

Characters and Pairings: Xander , Peri , Laslow

Rating: K

Warnings: None

Summary: Another late night at the office for Laslow. He can leave, but can’t bring himself to it. He cares way too much about his boss. 

Notes: Modern au! Xander needs to take better care of himself and Garon is a bitch. I guess in that sense it’s just as usual. 

The cold, artifical light shined harshly against his eyes. The machine's whirring was the only sound that could be heard in the cold, empty hallways. Laslow stretched his arms over his head as he waited for the coffee cup to be filled. The cold grey hallways with big dark paintings with frames in dark wood, the strong light from the lamps and the loud silence made him feel like he was in a horror movie. The only thing that reminded him that he wasn't was Peri, leaned against the wall beside the door to the office where Laslow had spent the day. The bodyguard looked as ready to fall asleep as Laslow felt.

"No, Father, that's not-"

The annoyingly loud beeping of the machine made Laslow jump. With an annoyed scowl he pulled away the cup from the machine, making it stop complaning. He put his cup on the counter beside the coffee machine and put in the other cup.

"Father, I recieved it yesterday, I haven't had the- No, no it's not done."

Laslow pressed the button for a double espresso. He could tell it would be needed. As the machine completed his order he glanced up at the clock that told him it was almost midnight. Laslow had offically gone over the 14 hours mark since he arrived to the office. He groaned and rubbed his eyes. The loud annoying beeping of the machine made him glare at it. Mumbling to the machine that yes, he was working on it, he lifted the cup to get the beeping to stop and then put it down in the machine again. His finger hovered over the button for a double espresso, listening towards the office with the door cracked open.

"Father, at this hour there's not much I can- No, Father, that's not what I meant! Father, please just listen to me- Father?"

Then, as clockwork, the soft thump of his boss hitting his head against the wall. Laslow pressed the button, watching as the black liquid with brown reflections streamed into the cup, mixing with the espresso that was already there. The call hadn't gone well. The call never went well. Which meant that they would be at the office for a long while still.

With both cups in his hands he made his way to the office now that the call had ended, Peri holding the door open for him. Usually at this time he changed his boss' coffee to tea in a try to force him to be a bit healthier, but after late night calls that ended in heads hitting the wall Laslow didn't have the heart to deny his boss his coffee.

As Laslow entered the room he saw exactly what he had expected. Xander leaned against the wall in his office, his phone still in his hand. Laslow knew this meant more work, and that they probably wouldn't leave this office until about an hour before they had to start the work day tomorrow. A part in the back of his head was reminding him in a whiny tone that it was illegal to work this many hours in one go, and he couldn't deny that he longed after his bed. But when he saw Xander, with dark bags showing though the concealing make up under his eyes, blonde hair messy after driving his hand through it, a nervous habit he had, and tensed up shoulders, Laslow couldn't bring himself to leave. He knew that while he had passed the 14 hour mark of this shift, Xander was probably well past the 24 hour mark.

So he put on a bright smile and held out the cup with two double espressos.

"There you go, sir", he said happily. Xander took the cup and glanced at Laslow.

"Are you still here? I thought I told you to go home two hours ago", Xander said and drank a bit of it.

"And I told you I wasn't leaving this office until you were. Now tell me how much work Mr Chairman just put on our desks so I can start working."

"Laslow, go home."

"Sorry, sir, no can do. I can't leave you here, you'd work yourself to death without me."

"I am fully capable of taking care of myself."

"What did you eat today?"

The silence talked for itself. It might have been a low blow, since Laslow knew the answer to that question. He was the one putting food on Xander's desk, and he was the one seeing the boxes forgotten, covered with important papers as Xander tried to keep up with the working pace his father expected of him. He was the one digging out the box from underneath the papers and putting them in the fridge, eating them himself the day after as he bought something new to Xander and hoped he would have time to eat this day.

Xander glanced over at Peri, silently asking for help, but Peri simply shook her head. She agreed with Laslow. She knew Xander's way of living wasn't healthy, and he needed to hear it sometimes.

"I can't make you work this long", Xander said, taking a different approach.

"I won't tell if you don't", Laslow said and winked, dragging a snort from his boss.

"You're impossible", Xander said with a sigh.

"Which, sir, I think is why you hired me. That, and my amazing butt."

Xander rolled his eyes and drank some more of his coffee. After so many years, so many late nights at work where the three of them were the only ones keeping each other company, they had grown closer, being able to pass such comments between each other. And during this time Xander had learned that when Laslow had decided to do something for Xander's sake, then there was no stopping him.

"Fine, do as you wish. But I will not allow you to sacrifice your health over me. One yawn from you and I will make Peri take you home."

"And leave you defenselss? I think not! If you die, who will then stare at my butt all the time?" Laslow said, one wrist against his forehead in a dramatic gesture, pretending to be suffering from the idea of his boss not staring at his butt. Peri giggled from the doorway, enjoying the banter between the two of them.

"You can't deny him that, sir, the lack of attention would kill him", she mused and Laslow did a motion towards her.

"See! Peri understands, Xander! Surely you can't make me leave now! If I leave then who will gracefully walk the hallways and bend over seductively to pick something up?" Laslow's pretend drama was getting bigger, and with exaggerated gestures he fell gracefully down on the couch in the office, a wrist pressed against his forehead and the other hanging over the side, one leg over the armrest and the other resting against it. Peri giggled again and Xander rolled his eyes again.

"Fine", he said. "You can stay, but I want you to understand that you're free to go at anytime. I don't want you to stay just because I'm still here."

"Understood, sir!" Laslow said happily as he jumped out of the couch. Xander smiled and started shuffling through the papers on his desk. "Well, in that case...", he started.

"Wait", Peri suddenly said, making the two look at her. "Laslow is right, sir, you haven't eaten all day."

"So?"

"You still have today's lunch in the fridge in the break room. You should eat something."

"What is it with you two? I'm fine. I can handle one or two days-"

"Frankly, sir, I don't want to rush you to the hospital becuase you've overworked yourself. Again."

There was a silence for a while, Xander and Peri measuring each other with their eyes. Peri had a point, and Xander hated it. He hated that he had to be scolded by his assistant and bodyguard, and he hated that they had a point in what they were saying. Last time he had fainted wasn't a very fond memory, and he knew he was on a direct course for fainting again. But he was so stressed...

"Are you two ganging up on me?" he asked frustrated and groaned. "Fine, get the damn food. We'll split it, I think we all need something to eat."

A smile spread over Peri's face and she happily responded with a "yes, sir", before leaving to the cafeteria for the food. Laslow couldn't help but smile. Ganging up on him, huh? Well, it was true. Xander might be able to ignore Laslow's gestures and scoldings, but against both Peri and Laslow Xander was more or less defenseless.

When Peri reappeared with the food Laslow sat down on Xander's desk, taking some of the sushi and trying to eat it. He had never really gotten the hang of how to use chopsticks, but failing and dropping his food was worth it if it could make Xander and Peri laugh a little. Especially when Peri joined him and started trying to balance her chopstick on the tip of her nose.

And as Xander's laugh rang through the office, making both Peri and Laslow laugh as well, a warmness and happiness spread in Laslow's chest. Yes, he was tired. Yes, he felt like he could kill Chairman Garon with his own hands if it meant that Xander's work load would ease up. But in the end there was nowhere else he wanted to be but right here, next to Peri and Xander and hearing them laugh. 

[thorndale-industries]

What was the motivation/inspiration behind starting your own DX verse? What where the thoughts behind Gillian and her being married to Bob in specific?

Oh boy, this could become a bit lengthy as I want to explain the things as well as I can and there are many reasons/factors.

First of all, the most obvious one: I wanted to tell a story, just like every writer and artist does. I always had a weakness for taking an already existing one an fill the blanks by changing the perspective. In that case it was the Illuminati, as they are simply my favourite faction and don’t really know much about them - and what we do know is incredibly fascinating. Don’t mind me loving “shadowy group pulling the strings in the back” stories in general, I am a sucker for them. After playing the first DX years ago, I adored how the Illuminati were handled and how their way of living was only hinted, full of tradition, backstabbing and questionable morality. People who perceived themselves as the pinnacle of humanity ended up eating each other for power - they are not as free from their shackles as they always claim to be. And I wanted to know more. I wanted to know how they really work.  I wanted to know how DX1 could happen.

And the best way to do that was to create an OC who was born into them, someone who group up under their rules and traditions. Someone, who never had a choice.

Gillian herself is not entirely a DX OC, as she is heavily based on another character I have created for an original story I am working on for at least 3 years now - and one day, when I kick my own butt, this story will be a comic one day. I know, I know, I say such a lot, but I just struggle with my own skill and I always put myself down. It sucks. Anyway, the reason I chose her is that I saw she would also perfectly fit into the world of DX and I only had to tweak some of her background to make it work - and, to come to your other question: She also has a husband in the OS who is very similar to Bob, it felt natural and logical to tie DX Gil to him.

Now I want to say something that might be a bit irrelevant, but I want to talk about something OCs in existing universes struggle with, especially when they are paired up with a canon character: They are nothing but self-insert, shippy, low-effort characters. And now let’s talk about some of Gillian’s development because it might make a few things clearer.

At the very beginning, when I decided to make that Illuminati character to be able to tell the story I want, I did not base her on the OS character. She was different, a bit cockier, a bit more risk taking and action loving. And she was gay simply because I am gay myself and felt more comfortable that way. I personally believe that all writers/content creators put something of themselves and their world view into their work and it’s not always a conscious decision.  I know I prefer to have lesbian and childfree characters because I am more comfortable with it as this is how I live and want to live, and someone who is more into the “house, marriage, kids” life would probably tend to write their “main” character more like that. After some time, I had to realize that this kind of personality didn’t work at all, and this was the time when I started to use the other character as a base because it did work, and it worked well. Some of my friends might even remember early Gillian and how she used to be.

One reason why I chose her to be female is that Deus Ex is lacking strong, developed female characters in my opinion. The franchise is strongly male-dominated, and the few female villains are all kinda falling into the “femme fatale” category. I wanted to change that.

Her and me might share a few similarities, mostly physically because we have a similar haircut and glasses (but her appearance is based on an actress, just check the “//the queen herself” tag) and there are reasons for that. Although I found a lore reason why she has white hair, there was also a personal one: I “suffer” from premature grey hair. I had great grey/white spots and strands when I was 17, and now in my 20s my sides look like Mr. Fantastic’s - but I shave and dye my hair so it’s not visible. Honestly, I had a hard time accepting that as grey hair, especially on women, has a social stigma, and giving Gillian completely white hair helped me cope in a weird way. Actually, if mine wouldn’t be that strange mix of blonde and grey spots, I wouldn’t dye them anymore. And I gave her glasses just because 1) there aren’t many characters with such 2) she is genetically enhanced, and I wanted to give her an obvious flaw everyone can see.

A reason why she is married to Bob is because House of Cards was always a huge inspiration for my writing in this verse. The plotting against each other, the backstabbing, the fake smiles, the favours, the drama… all of those are things I can see within the Illuminati. Furthermore, I just adore the dynamics Frank and Claire have, especially in the first seasons. How they work together as a power couple, their “It’s us against the rest of the world” mentality, and how they are united in the same cause. And that they are equals, two horrible beings in tune with each other (later not so much, and I dislike that actually). And I can see Robert being like that with a right partner and it just clicked, you know? I am aware that I teeeeend to do a lot of shippy stuff with them, but trust me, their relationship is more than just pure romance. I just sucked at making clear that they are primarily business partners who later learned to love each other (like, they also don’t have a traditional marriage and never really live together.)

I hope this rambling makes any sense and answers your question.