#dragons r the best fantasy creature because they can be literally anything so long as they have The Vibe | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

garregmachmatchups · 5 years ago

Text

hi mod ava!! would i please be able to request a regular matchup?? i’m bi, so i don’t mind any gender. i hope this isn’t too much info, but i hope the layout makes it readable?? thank you so much!!

personality

the good:

curious

i love to learn? is that a good thing? (as long as I’m not being graded on it,,, otherwise that’s a disaster)

open-minded

thoughtful

good conversationalist/listener (or, at least I’d like to think so,,, i can talk for hours and hours)

trustworthy (ish)

compassionate (or at least, i try to be!!)

patient

accepting (within reason aadjsdfkjhfds essentially i just try to not judge people)

understanding (i do my very best!!)

the bad:

prone to catastrophizing (that’s the anxiety poking through)

indecisive (I cannot make a decision to save my life)

shy (it’s not that I’m quiet or withdrawn, I’m just Deeply Afraid Of Rejection)

unforgiving (while I can be pretty patient, once I’m done with someone, I’m Done)

prone to melancholy (I do my best to fight it, but that melancholy be Strong)

overthinker (i literally write a whole dissertation in my head about a topic literally No One cares about… or i’ll decide to pick apart my relationships with others when it’s really not that deep. this one’s a mixed bag.)

irresponsible (ish. i can take care of myself and my roommate, but i get a bit scared of Responsibility with a capital R. idk if i’m making much sense but,,, i can take responsibility, i’m just scared i’ll mess up so i try not to?? ir’s something i really need to work on)

the neutral:

opinionated (I’m putting it as a neutral trait bc I’ve been told that I’m “interesting to talk to” because of it, but my god… sometimes I wish I’d just calm down,,, and there are just some things it’s not worth being opinionated on, you know?)

Sensitive (with a capital s)

imaginative (fun for creative things, bad when your catastrophizing)

talkative (for similar reasons as opinionated… I love to talk and I have So Much to say, but sometimes I wish I’d just learn to… shut my damn mouth)

my sense of humour (i’d describe myself as a “chaos goblin”, and one of my friends once said I’m a “mixed bag of human”, meaning that he can never predict what I’m going to say to him next; essentially i have a very “flexible” sense of humour, but the more absurd, the better)

perceptive (neutral just bc while it’s good when dealing with people I like, it’s fuel for anxiety)

a bit of a “mum friend” (in the sense that,,, i’m always concerned with people’s health and wellbeing but that can come off as overbearing at times? and it’s ironic that i’m a mum friend because as stated earlier, i can be kind of irresponsible hhh)

Interests

reading (when I can actually commit to a book sjkdfhs)

writing (when I’m not LAZY!! Also, my genres tend to be more along fantasy or urban fantasy lines? A little sci-fi, when I’m not scared off by trying to do worldbuilding for that genre because O H B O Y science & technology is a LOT scarier than magic tbh)

trawling Wikipedia for an unreasonably long time

drawing

character analysis (my favourite part of engaging with any new media skdfhkfhj)

anthropology (it’s my uni major and I love it!! so much!! i could talk about it for hours!!)

history (shamefully, i am a nerd)

art history (I LOVE ART, my fave artist is probably alphonse mucha? If you’ve never seen his stuff definitely have a look! It’s A Lot but it’s stunning)

sociolinguistics (it’s so interesting!! And I guess languages too, but I’m so bad at learning them asjfdhddsklj)

fashion (in a way? I just love pretty clothes, and my style is… a lot of patterns, especially animals and flowers, and it’s retro-adjacent?)

D O G S

most animals tbh (I love foxes and owls! i also adore mythological creatures, like dragons and griffins and all that)

again, i hope this isn’t too much!! thank you again, and i hope you enjoy the rest of 2019!! (when will i stop using exclamation marks my goodness–)

Hewooo!💕Omg I love your matchups I can’t believe you asked me for one I feel honored lsfdjdjakj. I really hope I don’t disappoint lol. Also haha I got inspired. So without further ado, let’s get to it! Your match is…

Claude von Riegan!!!

Bro you and Claude are like two peas in a pod. You both share a passion for knowledge, curious about the world and people around you. It’s a big part of who you are, which makes it all the more important for you to find someone who sympathizes with that need. For Claude, it’s one of his biggest motivators. Same as you, he appreciates different cultures and societies greatly. For that he needs someone who is open-minded and accepting, someone who can support his dreams, a world without borders, as well as someone who can accept who he truly is. With Claude’s curious nature, he always looks to be engaged, so your conversational and passionate character would certainly be intriguing to him. I can just imagine you two going on about for hours and hours, discussing anything and everything that comes to mind, especially about stuff relating to different cultures and different ways of life. Because Claude is more on the lighthearted side, someone with a sense of humor would be best suited for him, so someone who is as “chaotic” and unpredictable as you would be perfect to keep him engrossed and prying. All the same, Claude’s light-heartedness would be greatly beneficial to you, as you often struggle with anxious thoughts and feelings. A calm presence in your life to remind you things aren’t as bad as they seem, especially one as rational and reasoned as Claude. As we all know though, Claude despite acting light-hearted is quite secretive and wary of others. Therefore the fact that you have a trustworthiness about you could really get Claude to open up to you more so than to others. You being patient and perceptive would also be of great help, knowing Claude has his reasons as well as you being willing to wait until he opens up. Together, you’d be sure to change yourselves and the world for the better

Headcannons:

When you first meet Claude, you are incredibly drawn to him, as he possesses a very mysterious air about him, which of course only entices your curiosity.

Claude, sensing this, in turn, becomes curious about you (meanwhile everyone else just senses sexual tension)

Um, lowkey a detective couple? Discovering the mysteries of the world together…or your classmates’ secrets

Also tea time with you guys is #DEEP. Just thinking about the world and life in general

Sometimes it just turns into you rambling about your opinions or just in general things you want to talk about and Clause just listening to you with admiration or vice versa where he just talks about his vision of the world and you just staring at him in wonder, just goals

When Claude first hears you talking so passionately about stuff like anthropology and history, he immediately goes “Yep, they’re definitely the one”

He really appreciates how patient you are with him, even when you are curious about him. He promises though that one day he’ll share everything with you

Claude is always there to help whenever you start overthinking or catastrophizing, as he always has a logical argument as to why the situation is not as it seems. If it’s something more serious though and you really start panicking, he’ll hug you while reassuringly tell you it’s okay (he doesn’t always help with the indecisiveness though, like my bro how are you so chill about every decision you take)

He could also be of great help with your fear of responsibility, teaching you to have faith in yourself

Loves that you are imaginative, seriously you just brought his schemes up to a whole new level

Also haha chaotic couple, people are either dying of laughter with you guys around or are super confused about your dynamic (or scared who knows)

I get the impression that because Claude is always so immersed in his goals and responsibilities he has, he sometimes forgets to take care of himself, so you being a sort of mom friend would definitely be good for him

Umm also i’m pretty sure Claude loves dogs and animals (he rides a wyvern for christ sakes). He’ll totally take you out on a ride on his wyvern, just soaring across the sky seeing the world

If you’d ever take an interest in Almyran art history or fashion the man will love you forever. Honestly just taking an interest in the Almyran culture, history, etc. Will increase his love tenfold

Ughhh I just stan

Other matches: Ignatz Victor, Petra Macneary

Hope you enjoyed the matchup! If you feel like you weren’t portrayed correctly/I misinterpreted your information let me know and I’ll make the corrections!

#fire emblem three houses #fe:3h #regularmatchup #request #golden deer #submission #fire emblem matchup #three houses matchup #2

3 notes · View notes

copperbadge · 8 years ago

Note

Hi Sam! I'm curious about your magical time management skills: you have a full-time job, are super active in fandom, answer countless asks, write fanfiction and books, and still have time for jogging and many other stuffs. How do you organize yourself? I feel super overwhelmed due to lack of time and end up not doing what I want do. Do you allot time to do stuff? How does your typical day looks like? And any useful tips for us slackers.

I dunno how helpful it’ll be – I mean, some of it is time management, and some of it is that I have spent a long time working on arranging my life so that I have as much free time to pursue my own interests as possible. This hasn’t consciously meant giving up things like close brickspace friends and romantic relationships but in some ways it has kind of worked out that way. (Not that I couldn’t have those things if I chose to work towards them, in other words, but they don’t come naturally to me and I don’t mind the lack.)

So, I will give you a rundown of my average day, but before we begin, I will also give you some context! And this will be long so I’ll put it under a readmore.

I have at present no romantic partner, no children, no pets. This sounds sad, but I’m not complaining; I could work towards those things and choose not to, for a variety of reasons, some good, some not. I would like to have a partner, but honestly at this point in my life it’s as much because it’s cheaper to cohabitate; I am very independent and not, I suspect, built for the kind of daily intimacy that romantic cohabitation requires.

If I were to get a pet it would probably not be a dog, since when I was dogsitting for R I had real trouble with the concept of properly caring for a creature whose life was so scheduled, who required specific attentions at specific times – I have owned dogs before and love them deeply, but never in an apartment or as a solitary person. I would probably get a cat or an axolotl (axolotls: like being alone, require very specific but easy-to-procure stimulus, look like tiny water dragons, sound like fantasy aliens).

I have very few close brickspace friends, not by design but just because I’m kind of a private homebody, and my extensive network of online friendships is satisfying in that regard. But online friendships, while not LESS of a time commitment, are a different kind of commitment – you can multitask while hanging out with online friends, you don’t have travel times, if they’re running late you’re not stuck waiting and vice versa.

I also am not in school, which is much more life-consuming than many jobs. School is a way of life; work can be, but doesn’t have to be. And I am very fortunate (in the literal sense of “it is luck that brought me here”) to have a job where I spend the vast majority of my time a) on a computer and b) in self-directed, non-public-facing work. For most of my day, every day, I guide my own workflow, I choose what to work on and when. Of course I have deadlines, but within the strictures of those deadlines I am free to triage my time as appropriate, and because I’m on a computer with unrestricted internet access, I can take ten minutes to log onto tumblr, read some things, respond to some things, and then go back to my work.

So I am starting from an advantageous position: few personal commitments, unstructured time throughout the day, and a job where when I leave for the day, work stays at work.

So here’s what a normal day is like for me. Bear in mind this is for comparison purposes rather than because I think it’s particularly ideal.

I wake up around 4am; if I haven’t slept well or feel like I need it, I may go back to sleep for about an hour. Normally when I get up I either work out from 4-5 (weights, running) or I sit on the couch with my laptop and check out what’s been going on while I was asleep. We’ll circle back to this, but I go to bed quite early, so at this point I have generally had at least seven hours of sleep. Also, I am a morning person, so I go straight from zero to lucid, which is nice.

I answer email, check tumblr, check my RSS feeds (podcasts, news, fanfic, a couple of NSFW blogs that I can’t have on my tumblr feed because I read it at work). I look at my calendar so that I know what’s on offer for the day – my calendar doesn’t cover work stuff, but primarily anything I want to or need to do after work. My family has a mutual Google Calendar that we all use to schedule stuff the others should see, like whenever I take a vacation, and my parents also use it as their central calendar, so I can see what they’ll be up to on any given day. I’ve been thinking of switching over to a private Google Calendar, but out of habit for years I’ve used a custom-built spreadsheet, now in Google Sheets, that looks like a calendar:

That’s July. This kind of layout works well for me because it’s easy to go in and change things, and I get a good “high level” view of the month. As you can see I’m traveling quite a bit; I’m tracking new TV shows, peoples’ birthdays, events I may attend (I will probably not be at everything happening in evenings on the week of the 10th), baseball games I have tickets for, and possible plans for camping. Google Calendar would work as well and would have some significant advantages, I just haven’t got off my ass to switch over.

Around five, I usually get up and fix breakfast; often I’ll put on something to listen to while I cook and/or eat. If I’ve been working out, all the stuff I did – checking email, tumblr, etc – is pushed forward, and I do a bit less of it. But essentially from 4-6 I’m working out, eating breakfast, and getting a start on the personal-life aspect of my day. In terms of social media, this is the time I’m most likely to like something or save it to drafts to deal with later; I don’t spend brainpower on responding this early in the morning, usually.

I have some fairly…prescriptive routines for the rest of the day, and that works for me, I like structure. Other people may find this sort of thing doesn’t work for them, and that’s okay. This is, again, for comparison purposes, not to dictate how your life should be.

At six o’clock my alarm goes off, warning me that I have nine minutes before I need to stop what I’m doing and start getting ready for work. This is by design, so that I have a buffer zone in which to shift my mental attitudes from morning routine to something more focused. I hit snooze on the alarm and then at 6:09 I turn the alarm off and get in the shower. I shower, brush my teeth, and get dressed in clothes I laid out over a rail the night before (I have an electric heated towel rail, one of the best random-ass things my mother ever gave me, and in winter I turn the heat on so I come out of the shower and into warm undies; in summer it’s just a convenient place to hang clothes). I dress, grab my bag, take my keys off the doorknob and put them in a pocket of the bag, and I’m out the door around 6:25. I catch the 6:40 express bus to work. I usually read on my tablet on the bus (currently reading The Last Runaway by Tracy Chevalier after remembering how much I loved her prose in Girl With A Pearl Earring) and I get to work around 7.

At work I have routines too: I set down my bag, hang up my jacket, and before I do anything else I get my 32oz mug and go to the kitchen to get ice water to sip on throughout the morning. I come back to my desk, turn on my monitors, and log into my computer.

I check my work email first, to make sure nothing is on fire from yesterday, since I leave work quite a bit earlier than most of my colleagues. If nothing is urgent I delete anything irrelevant to me, respond to anything that needs immediate response, and move on to a quick glance at email and tumblr, then I open my “daily bookmarks” folder. My daily bookmarks folder is mostly stuff that either I can’t or don’t want to put in my RSS reader: a couple of messageboards, a few real estate sites I’m watching for my dream home to show up, a couple of tumblr tags (I don’t follow tags on tumblr because I don’t like seeing shit recur constantly on my dash), and some activism facebook pages because I despise facebook but it’s the only site some of these organizations use. If it’s Monday, I also open my Monday bookmark folder, which is a combination of sites that rarely update and “event” sites (the cinema I’m a member of so I can see what new movies are coming, the calendar of a local band I like, the events page of various cultural centers). I review these quickly, closing most tabs and setting aside anything I need to look at more indepth like an event I’d like to attend. Usually basically I fuck around on the internet until about 8, unless work has something urgent for me.

The one scheduled task I have daily at work is news clipping, where I read several news sites and save off articles of interest to our staff, which need to be turned in by mid-morning. Realistically this could take 15 minutes of focused work, but I like to read the news, too, so from eight to eight forty-five or nine, I’m usually reading a very specifically aimed sort of news, saving off articles, and archiving them appropriately.

After that, the day is, in many ways, mine to do with as I please.

I organize my life by using Google Tasks, which is a little pop-up to-do list in gmail. I have a to-do list for every day, and anything that doesn’t get done one day gets moved to another day, depending on how urgent it is. So at nine or so, I open Google Tasks and start moving each task around based on how urgent it is or how quickly I can do it. Urgent work and fast tasks go at the top; less urgent work, stuff I’m less enthused about, and stuff I can’t do at my desk (buying a card for Father’s Day, picking up groceries after work, etc) goes at the bottom. Some tasks are recurring – every Monday, for example, Radio Free Monday is at the top of the list because it’s time-sensitive.

You can see RFM there at the top; I have to email some information about a 5K to a friend, but I need to get his email from another friend first; I have some registration and hotel issues to attend to for an upcoming conference; I have to write up some evaluations, and do some reading for a presentation I’m giving. I should stop by my PO Box after work. Other stuff will no doubt be added when I check my work email (documents to be prepared, research requests) but this is where I start the day. You can also see I have stuff with pushed out deadlines – Credit Cards is a monthly reconciliation for my corporate card, which I will do ON the 26th rather than BEFORE it, and quarterly I check my 401K, so I won’t need to do that until August 7th.

“PRESENTATION: Reading” will probably get pushed to another day, because by the time I get down that far on the list, I won’t have a ton of brainpower left to do a lot of reading and analysis. It’s ok, my presentation’s not due until the 30th.

And then I just work through my to-do list. Some days I’m really good at getting it done. Some (rare) days I spend most of my time reading tumblr and fucking around because I’m not having a good focus day. But again: this is a job in which I have the luxury to do that, and I’m very lucky.

Rather than take a traditional lunch, I usually eat two small meals, at 11am and 2pm. Usually I bring most of my lunch for the week on Monday and just reheat tupperwares as I go, augmenting them with cheese and crackers; sometimes I’ll throw in a protein bar from a stash I keep in a little box on my desk. Most of my lunches are cooked on the weekends, when my time is a lot less structured. You’ve probably seen my COOKING DAY posts; sometimes I just set aside a day to cook and rest.

I’m gonna tackle fandom and social media here because truthfully my job has enough spare time built into it that this is when I do the majority of my fannish activity, at work, in small chunks. And yes I am very active in fandom but occasionally in very limited ways.

I don’t read a ton of fannish blogs. I have a limit on my tumblr of following 99 people, and I choose those people very carefully. Some are friends, but those who aren’t personally known to me are people who post both low-volume and things that are of interest to me. I do not follow people who flood dashes not because I disapprove but because I don’t have time to wade through ten million gifsets of things that I’m not concerned with. I also follow a few artist or writers, but again, only if they’re of relevance to me. I follow Skottie Young because I really like his art and think he’s a cool dude, and most of what he posts is his art. I don’t follow Matt Fraction because while I think he is also a cool dude and I enjoy his writing, his tumblr wasn’t generally speaking about his writing or him, it was aesthetic stuff I didn’t care for and it was A LOT OF IT.

I don’t read a ton of fanfic. I have a couple of tags fed to my RSS reader and I subscribe to a couple of fics and fic writers, but even then I skim for interesting summaries and tag combinations I don’t find offputting. I don’t read fanfic at work, full stop; when I find one I want to read, I set it aside for a time when I’m at home and feel like reading fanfic.

Throughout the day I will check in on tumblr, in a very systematic manner: I read my dash, only the posts, and like or queue anything I want to reblog or examine later. I read my inbox and try to respond, but some asks don’t get answers for a really long time, because they require more focus or time or whatnot. I read my Activity page and open any reblogs with commentary; I set comments aside to be responded to en mass. I check my likes and try to clean out anything I’ve liked that could go in drafts or queue; I check my drafts and try to move just one draft into my queue (I constantly have a draft backlog). This all takes about ten minutes, then I go back to work.

I get AO3 comment notifications throughout the week, but generally I set aside a block of time either on Friday (if work is slow) or on Sunday to “clear out” my comments; every week I go through my comments, re-read each one, and either delete it or respond to it and then delete it. I don’t reply to a vast majority of them simply because I don’t have the time to respond to each one (I have tried, it was very stressful) and also because most of them don’t really a require a response. For everyone’s patience in this, I thank you.

So work is a long series of multitasking, breaks, deadline work, procrastination. It’s about average, I’d say, with anyone else in my situation. If I’m doing something after work, I check to make sure I know how to get there and what’s going on; if I don’t have all the info I need, I prepare a “brief” that has maps and directions and anything else I need, print that out, and toss it in my messenger bag. And then around 3:45 I pack up my bag, make sure I have my phone, and I head out to either (usually) catch the 4pm express bus home, or catch transit of my choice to whatever I’m doing after work.

If I don’t have something I’m doing after work, I come home, take my keys out of the bag pocket, hang them up on the doorknob once I’m inside, and set my bag down. I’m very specific about my keys here, as I was up above, as a way of demonstrating that I live a very habitual life. Stuff like keys, phone, wallet always has a specific place it goes, and it stays there if I’m not using it. I used to lose shit a lot, and rigidly adhering to “if this is not in your hand, it should be in X pocket” is what saves me.

I change into more comfortable clothes, usually yoga pants and a t-shirt. I make something for dinner and eat it, I unpack anything that needs to come out of my bag and pack anything that needs to go into it, and then usually these days I fuck around on the ukulele for a while. I don’t set a time limit on it, so sometimes I do it for half an hour, sometimes for ninety minutes. It’s a way of unwinding and finding stress relief, so it’s entirely voluntary and anything I do during this time is being done because I want to do it. I think it’s the only thing in my life where there are no external pressures anywhere and I have set no goals for myself.

I don’t think external pressures and goals are inherently bad. The goals I set for myself in my other hobbies, like writing and running, being in fandom, going to movies and such, are good goals and they help me do well. External pressure is something that exists in every human interaction; that’s just the nature of being a person in society, and likewise isn’t a terrible thing. And not everyone needs a release from those things, or finds that release in the same way. I like a lot of my life; I wouldn’t do things if I didn’t like them. But I have found that it helps to have one thing which only belongs to you and which has no goals or benchmarks. For me that’s currently the ukulele.

In the later evening – and let’s be clear, I get home at like 4:30 so “later” to me is 6ish – I’ll hop back on tumblr, maybe do a little writing, or attend or host a stream. I’ll chatter with people, respond to emails and posts, read things I had set aside for reading earlier in the day; it’s probably my most socially active time.

When I was in my twenties I did perfectly fine on five hours of sleep a night, but as I got older that stopped being comfortable, and also I started realizing that after a certain point in the day, I not only wasn’t doing anything useful or interesting, I wasn’t having a good time. I was being awake for the sake of not going to bed. So I adjusted my life to going to bed at nine, and when I started getting up earlier to run, I adjusted again. In order to do that, I created an evening routine, because going to bed is easier if you start out by doing other shit BEFORE going to bed.

Now, generally, I log off between 7 and 7:30. Sometimes I go to bed that early, but that’s when I close down social interaction. Not necessarily turning off the computer, but just gently shutting down on being “around” other people. I log off chats, I stop responding to emails and tumblr posts. I set them aside for the morning. I might continue to read my dash or listen to podcasts or whatnot until eight or so.

I change into pyjamas, wash my face, brush my teeth, lay out my clothes for tomorrow, and get into bed, usually with my tablet to do a little reading. It’s a very rare evening I go to bed any time past 8:30. And that’s my day.

I have actually some reasoning about why I go to bed so early, but I think it’s the most important part of a post that is REALLY LONG and otherwise devoted to the boring details of my day, so I’m going to make it a separate post.

I hope this has helped, Anon! As you can see, what helps me organize and sort out all my time commitments is schedules, lists, and an adherence to several fairly rigid habits – this may not work for you, and I don’t recommend it for everyone. But for me, it’s really the only way I can stay on top of everything, especially in cases where I’m dealing with some particularly intense depression. I’m happy to answer questions, though if people have commentary about the post they should remember to reblog or comment, since I don’t repost asks sent to me about other asks.

#Anonymous

134 notes · View notes

tumblunni · 8 years ago

Text

Man its so weird to think back and see how many signs there were that I was transgender long before I realized it. I was SO fucking oblivious, I had no clue that being nonbinary was even an option, all I knew was 'well I don't wanna be the opposite gender but I don't wanna be the one I was assigned at birth'. (Except obviously I didn't even know the correct words to describe it) And like... I bought into A LOT of horrible transphobic bullshit, cos I was raised with a biased view of what being transgender even is. 'Trans-sexual people are turned on by wearing women's clothes'. Ugh. And I was completely disgusted by it, since I'm a sex repulsed asexual and everything about foreplay or whatever disgusts me. My parents and pop culture and stuff all treated it like trans people were the equivelant of someone into BDSM wearing nipple clamps out in public or something. 'Well in theory I have nothing against them having that kink, but why do they have to show it in public?' Being trans was ALWAYS only shown as 'oo kinky I like to crossdress in the bedroom', as if it was a fucking sexuality, as if there was NO OTHER REASON why someone would wanna wear the 'wrong' clothes and use the 'wrong' pronouns. I felt viscerally disgusted at myself whenever I didn't want to wear my birth gender's cliche outfits, I denied absolutely everything cos I didn't want people to think I was a pervert. I didn't even know it was POSSIBLE to be transgender and asexual, or even that being transgender wasn't the same as being gay! I said SO MUCH fucking horrible transphobic and homophobic stuff as a kid, just parroting what I was told, and overcompensating for hating myself by making it clear I hated everyone remotely similar to me. While being in huge denial that they were similar to me! And I'm gonna carry these regrets forever and always worry that I stopped someone else from feeling comfortable about theirself and just... GAHH! And I did all the same too about parroting stereotypes of 'crazy people' and 'r*tards' before I learned that this big ol stereotype about autism was bullshit and real autistic people look EXACTLY LIKE MYSELF It just makes me think a lot about how many other people out there might be trans and not have the ability to find out because they've been buried so utterly in this false, bigoted image of what a trans person actually is. Tho also I hate the dumb stereotype that 'all homophobes are secretly gay', like seriously wtf why u wanna escape all responsibility for your actions and say the only problem is gay people systemically oppressing THEMSELVES... ANYWAY I went off on a sad train of thought there but back to the point! I'm just remembering this one part of a school trip that was like one of my most treasured memories for no logical reason until I realised I was trans. I met a new classmate and he mistook me for the opposite gender, and I was like 'HOLY SHIT WHY AM I HAPPY' until someone else 'corrected' him. I mean.. I knew I wasn't that gender either, but it felt like a weight off my shoulders to at least be misgendered the opposite way for once. I felt inexplicably happy that I was looking ambiguous enough to even be in question! And this was when I was like 11, I had no clue what word to even assign to these feelings... And I mean, it was SO DUMB that I never noticed these signs! This is what internalized transphobia does to you! Like 'hey there's probably no reason at all why I always play as a different gender ever time I buy a pokemon game, and get this self hatey feeling in my gut when both options have very stereotypically gendered costumes'. And 'wow there sure is no reason why I got inexplicably attached to this genderless character and can't stop thinking about ways to prove they aren't real'. Seriously all that debate about 'quina is really a girl/boy' with weird evidence in stat builds and equip items and stuff! I got REALLY into that transphobic bullshit cos it was something that shook up my perception of the world and I felt like if not being either gender was ACTUALLY AN OPTION then id have to address painful things about myself. If I knew I could be that, I couldn't keep lying to myself. So I went in aggressive denial mode and missed this chance to come out of the closet at like 9 years old and save myself a damn lot of trouble! And then I just went through the same bullshit at 14 with Chrona from Soul Eater, and could not explain why on earth I was so upset that the English dub assigned them a random gender instead of translating it properly... And OH MAN how fucking dysphoric I was about puberty even before I knew that dysphoria was a thing! It was like 'hey look you're growing up!' 'NO IM NOT DEAR GOD NEVER SAY THAT AGAIN'. And that led to this stupid thing of me just saying 'well I have the mental age of a seven year old LOL' to excuse whenever I acted 'weird'. My forum avatar and stuff was a doodle of myself in chibi form, etc. (Even literally wearing chest binding... I only knee at the time that it was 'a martial arts thing' tho.) Like, I'd got all these messages that not wanting sex was 'childish' and not wanting my body to change was obviously 'immature', and when I was undiagnosed with mental illness and trying yo make up excuses for how I TOTALKY didn't have a mental illness, all I could say was 'ha ha I'm totally uhh... Doing it on purpose? Cos I'm so... Quirky?' I got obsessed with overacting as a class clown, cos I mean you can also excuse cross dressing as a thing that 'the comic relief character' does... And OH MAN, like my big Special Interest throughout all of high school was Norse myth, more specifically Loki. I was FASCINATED with the idea of a shape shifter who could be either gender, and was completely unashamed about it. And, of course, I used to play it off as 'ha ha isn't it so funny he turned into a girl', when I seriously did not have any clue WHY it was funny, I just thought I had to say it. It HAD to be the reason I was so sympathetic yo this character, right? Because he's A FUNNY JOKE?? And man then I got so obsessed with researching non gendered English pronouns from the 18th century and championing how they should totally come back into modern language and EVEN THEN I was in denial! It took until I played Magical Diary to realise 'well fuck I'm trans'. It took a game outright saying that these genderless pronouns arent just 'to be inclusive of both genders' but can be used for A THIRD GENDER, A GENDERLESS GENDER, A BOTH AND/OR NEITHER GENDER!! A game saying that this gender does exist in human beings, and EVEN THEN I took ages to be sure that it was really real and not just a fantasy thing that the game made up. I mean, quina was totally only genderless cos they're a magical creature, right? (Completely ignoring the fact that the other two members of that magical creature town are both male...) And just.... AAAAAAA I feel like I'm the human personification of that 'no Patrick, put it on the lid' meme No, you're trans. No, TRANS. Trans, bunni! TRANS!! This is what societal prejudices do to people. Even LGBTQ people usually grow up within homophobic, transphobic society, absorbing all the same messages. It destroys our ability to be okay with being ourselves... Its so fucking sad that this happened to me, and it hurts even more to think of all the times I said insensitive offensive stuff to other LGBTQ people back when I thought I was cis and straight... Gahhhh... ALSO, it makes me extra sad that Summon Night: Swordcraft Story 2 never got released in Europe. There's a character there called Arno who's NB and very out about it, and the English translators didn't make a mess of it, or anything. People actually call Arno 'they', and literally their catchphrase is 'Are you a boy or a girl?' 'I'm just a child of the wind~' Like seriously NO ambiguity, character actually getting to dish out sick burns when being misgendered, absolutely NO room for the ol 'well they just don't MENTION a gender, it doesn't mean they were intended to be nonbinary' excuse. Arno outright stating 'I am not a boy, and I an not a girl'. And your protagonist respecting it! Arno is still my absolute fave best handled nonbinary character in all of games. And the summon night series is very inclusive with a lot of gay romance options! Its a shame tho that the only other game with a nonbinary character was never dubbed even in america. But apparently the protags of previous games get a cameo in the upcoming Summon Night 6 which finally will be released in Europe! I just hope they handle Corlal's pronouns respectfully, considering how they managed to do it so well a decade ago with Arno. But then again the Swordcraft Story series is a spinoff so the main games might have different translators? Anyway, let me hug my tiny enby dragon child! Also I'm sad the cellphone app trading card game never got dubbed either, cos Corlal got some cute cards for the valentine's day event. All three dragon kids just got adorable scenes making platonic family chocolate for their siblings cos they're too young to really participate. And they thankfully got super cute totally non-lolicon maid and butler outfits like SERIOUSLY THANK GOD FOR THAT! Just cute ten year olds playing dressup like normal kids. Corlal got two cards for that one! Them being nonbinary continues to be 100% canon, they got a version with both a dress and a tuxedo. AND ITS SO FUCKING CUTE MY GOD ...man I'm sorry this just went off topic into how great that series is But anyway! If I've ever said anything that offends you, please message me about it! I'm still unlearning a lot of internalized prejudice. Also if you want a quality nonbinary werewolf in a cool side scrolling GBA jrpg, look for Arno! Im on mobile rite now so I can't send links n stuff, but as soon as I finish moving my PC desk to the other room I shall spam you all with my obscure fandom's!!!

#i wanna draw quina and arno meeting each other #tho the protag in corlal's game is a chef so it could be hilarious if theyre like 'mom what happened to your face'#and then protag and quina have a giant death spoons duel

4 notes · View notes

rqwoodward · 8 years ago

Text

Awards are always fun, especially when you win them TWICE. I’m not exactly sure where the Sunshine Blogger Award came from or what it means, but it seems like an exceptionally nice award to have with its sunny graphic and cheerful vibes.

The humorous, entertaining, and thought-provoking A.S. Akkalon first nominated me for the award. If you’ve ever wondered which dinosaurs are the best to date, she can help. If you get stuck while writing a fantasy novel, she can help there too, see: The Solution to Fantasy Writer’s Block. Be sure to check out her amazing answers to the questions posed to her as a recipient of the Sunshine Blogger Award too.

Since I’m lazy and like to post once a week (but already had last week), I decided to save my publication of this post until today, the start of a new week. As I was reading through posts I’ve missed over the last week from people I follow, I saw that the lovely K.A. Botello was also a recent recipient of the Sunshine Blogger Award, and that she nominated ME for it too!

Wow! Double win! You guys are the greatest! I’d nominate you back, so you can know the feeling, but that seems like a cheap trick. So for now I’ll blush and smile, and direct everyone to K.A. Botello and A.S. Akkalon’s Twitter feeds so you can follow them, in all their awesomeness, there.

K.A. Botello is a great person to follow on WordPress too if you want to get great updates on her current progress with editing her manuscript, find gems of writing and editing advice, or better get to know her.

The rules for the Sunshine Blogger Award are as follows:

Post the award on your blog.

Thank the person who nominated you. (Thanks again guys!)

Answer the 11 questions they set you.

Pick another 11 bloggers.

Give them 11 questions.

Since I was nominated TWICE, you’re in for a real treat. I’m about to answer TWENTY-TWO questions. Here goes!

Questions from A.S. Akkalon:

1. What do you most wish people thought about you?

That I’m nice is a good generic answer. I’d love for people to think I’m a good writer, excellent baketress (yes, I made that word up), and have cool hair. But seeing as how I’ve only shared my stories with a few people, don’t like to share cupcakes, and hibernate during the winter, thus not seeing many people, I can’t really expect those things. Maybe I should wish that people don’t think I’m stingy (Because apparently, I am. WITH CUPCAKES).

2. What’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever done?

I tried to think of something hilarious and outlandish all week, but the only thing I could come up with was rinsing my hands with lemonade from a giant Igloo cooler as a summer camp counselor one time. I went back like three times, thinking I was using the water cooler and wondering why my hands kept being sticky.

3. If you were a game show host, what kind of game would it be?

Something nerdy and comedically obnoxious without actually being obnoxious. Trivia and word puzzles are too simple. But throw in some physical challenges (again, nothing obnoxious), and we might have struck gold.

4. Are you more scared of krakens or black death?

Black death. Krakens only kill unnamed minions or maybe the side kick you’ve grown to love. Black death can and WILL, KILL EVERYONE.

5. What do you wish there was more of in books?

Quirkiness. Not in characters, (there are way too many forced ‘quirky’ characters out there). I mean quirkiness in descriptions and content. I always wonder why epic fantasy novels never talk about their adventurers having to pee. Then I wrote such a story, and I understood. But I still enjoy unique tidbits like that where the author thought to put something unusual into their novel. Two examples off the top of my head are Followed by Frost by Charlie N. Holmberg, where pee actually is mentioned (because I brought it up and now am thinking about urine). The main character is literally ‘followed by frost,’ causing snow storms and freezing everything she touches. The book mentions her having to pee in quick bursts otherwise the urine freezes. Another example, but a much lamer one, is a book I read recently describing something as having the consistency of pudding. For some reason, that stuck with me even though I don’t remember what the object being described was (it wasn’t food). I guess I don’t see a lot of pudding comparisons in books, because I found it really unique.

6. Where is your favourite place to read a book?

Outside in the sun on a nice day. Curled up on my couch is a great second option and where I actually do most of my reading. Also, anywhere (sitting, standing, comfortable or not) so long as I’m also eating. Yay, food.

7. What is the most “you” thing ever?

*Sigh,* Robin’s egg blue and the song Rockin’ Robin. As much as I’ve tried to run away from these two things throughout my life, they actually have ended up describing me/things I really like incredibly well. P.S. the R in R.Q. Woodward stands for Robin.

8. Cats eating birds: more proud of the cat or sorry for the bird?

Sorry for the bird. I’ve never actually seen a cat eating a bird, but if it’s anything like my dog chasing and killing screaming bunnies, I want no part of it. Poor bunnies. Stupid dog too, she’s always sick afterward.

9. What did high school English do for your love of writing?

Ha! Nothing. Back then I was more interested in the standard art forms of painting, drawing, and 3D design.

10. If you could have a mythical creature as a pet, what would it be, and what trick would you teach it?

Pegasus. Sure, everyone wants a sparkly unicorn, but think about it, wouldn’t you rather FLY? I’d teach it always catch me if ever I fell.

11. If you could have a superpower, what power would you choose?

One of the best questions ever. Since flying is covered, I’ll go with telekinesis. I’m also cheating a little bit by choosing it because my current work-in-progress includes telekinetic mages as the most powerful kind of mage: they can control the weather, heal people, physically control/manipulate other people’s bodies, and of course, do the hum-drum moving of objects with their minds. THAT is the kind of power I’d have :D

Questions from K.A. Botello:

1. What is one of the books you are currently reading?

Dang it! I’ve been on a writing binge and purposefully haven’t started my next book yet. I love that the question says “one of” too :D

I plan to re-read The Last Girl by Joe Hart next in preparation for the March 28th release of The First City by him. I reviewed the The Last Girl the first time I read it, if you want to check that out, and talked more about Hart’s skillful writing in this post.

2. If you could enter into the world of any fictional book which world would you choose?

I’m going to go with the world of The Paper Magician by Charlie N. Holmberg. Don’t mean to be mentioning her twice in this Q&A series, but I think part of the problem with most fantasy novels is that the magic system is exclusive. You have to get invited to Hogwarts. You have to have the have shifter/wizard/witch/mage DNA to even know about magical communities in most fantasy books. Most other books that take place in lands where magic/dragons/all things fantastical and awesome exist, don’t go into great detail with world building. It’s basically earth back in Robin Hood’s Sherwood Forest or something. Clearly, I’m generalizing. The point is, Holmberg’s world in the Paper Magician series is amazing because learning magic is like going to trade school. As far as I can tell, anyone can do it, and it’s just another profession. AMAZING. I want to live there in modern times (because the books take place around 1910 I think…in another reality where magic is normal. It takes place in London, but I don’t think her world is supposed mirror Earth’s history per se).

3. What is one of your favorite quotes?

:( I’m not big on famous quotes. I love highlighting brilliant or hilarious lines in books I read though. One that makes me smile every time I read it is, “He had spent a lot of time thinking about himself, and had come to the conclusion that he was definitely not self-absorbed.” From Scott Meyer’s Off to Be the Wizard. That and dozens of other quotes from books I’ve read are posted on Goodreads.

4. What weather would you consider ideal?

Sunny with a breeze and NOT humid. 25-115 degrees Fahrenheit is fine, snow on the ground or hot asphalt. Just so long as I can breathe easily without inhaling gnats or mosquitos!

5. What is your favorite fairy tale or classic myth?

Ooo! Tough one! I’m going to have to give a few because I think the source matters (she says to herself, knowing full well she’s cheating). When it comes to Disney renditions, I would have to save Beauty and the Beast and Sleeping Beauty. When it comes to original fairy tales, actually the answer is super easy. 100% Hans Christian Andersen’s The Wild Swans. You can, and should, read it for free here. Seriously, it’s the best fairy tale ever. You should read it. Right now.

6. If you could have any kind of animal real, or imaginary for a pet what would you choose?

A raccoon! I’ve always, always wanted one.

7. What is your favorite time of day?

Generally, meal times because I can eat. Otherwise it depends on if I’m inside or outside, what I’m doing, and what the weather’s like. While this sounds like I’m being picky, what I actually mean to say is that I like ALL of the daytime hours and find it hard to choose.

8. If you could change your natural hair color permanently, what color would you pick?

Hmm, well seeing as how my hair is currently blue, purple, and sea foam green, and has been hot pink, blue, and purple frequently throughout my life, I’d say just brown is fine. I look funny blonde. But burgundy is nice too.

9. What is your least favorite food?

Meat. Sorry carnivores. I’m a brussels spouts, broccoli, kale, and asparagus loving vegan who makes a sad face or scrunches her nose at all things meat.

10. Where would you rather vacation: the desert, the mountains, the forest, or by the sea?

All of the above, please! The year isn’t complete unless I’ve seen a bit of each!

11. What is your favorite animated movie?

Again, I have to cheat and still give too many answers. Computer animation: The Lego Movie and Frozen. Stop-motion animation: The Boxtrolls and Kubo and the Two Strings. Older animation: The Lion King and Beauty and the Beast ❤️

Nominees and Questions for them:

I’m nominating:

If Mermaids Wore Suspenders because Aubrey’s amazing and always adds a sprinkle of sunshine to her posts.

S.E. Drummond because she’s my writing buddy and duh.

Green Life Blue Water because P.J. Lazos keeps it real and provides a broad range of posts from eco information to book reviews.

Don Lorah because he boldly posts tons of wonderful stories, and I want to see if he’ll actually answer my questions in a ‘get to know me’ style blog post.

and finally Niels Saunders because I know he still exists despite his recent respite from sharing his authorly awesomeness with the world.

My eleven questions for you guys are as follows:

What’s one of the wackiest dreams you’ve ever had?

Name your favorite book, movie, and tv show, and then tell me which of THOSE is your absolute favorite.

What is the first favorite color you ever remember having and what is your fav color now?

Who is your favorite person in the world?

What’s your favorite smell?

If you had to choose between living as an insect in the Amazon or as a fish in the ocean for the rest of your life, which would you choose?

Coffee, tea, beer, or wine? (multiple choices are acceptable)

How do you like to spend your leisure time?

Do you like to hike, bike, or do other types of outdoor recreational activities? (if this answer is a “duh” type of response because of #8, do not pass go, go directly to jail. Also, tell me anything)

What is one (or maybe two) question(s) you wish I’d asked?

What is the answer to the question you just asked yourself?

Happy answering and sunshine spreading!

To learn more about moi, check out a similar Q&A post I made earlier this year.

Sunshine Blogger Award Awards are always fun, especially when you win them TWICE. I'm not exactly sure where the Sunshine Blogger Award came from or what it means, but it seems like an exceptionally nice award to have with its sunny graphic and cheerful vibes.

0 notes