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kpop-uni · 4 years ago

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Through the Lens // Six

Christian YuxYoutuber!Reader Words: 3.2K A/N: AN UPDATE? OUT OF THE BLUE? Yes! I’m so sorry I made you guys wait so long but my mental health was just so bad. But I recently started redoing my life, cleaning my room and I’m even taking a well deserved vacation to California next month so I’m doing better! Enough about this though, enjoy the chapter guys!

Chapter Five // Chapter Seven (CS)

A plan formed between the four men. Christian was to go to you, see you at your favorite restaurant and apologize for everything. It was an easy plan that guaranteed the two of you to talk again. But when Christian bought the tickets and packed his things, you let Scott know that you moved cities. So, it was back to square one.

Couple weeks later, Christian finally realized that you unblocked him on social media.

Christian had woken up to get a drink, phone in his pocket as he sat on the counter, glass cup in hand as he closed his eyes. He was still full of sleep, swaying as sleep tried to take his body away. The vibration from his pocket made him wake up a bit, finishing his drink and hopping off the counter. As he set the cup in the sink, pulling his phone out, Christian woke up, phone almost falling out of his hand.

He waited as the post loaded, trying to blink the sleep away before settling on rubbing his eyes. Finally looking at the loaded post, Christian smiled

ynissamood: I know you guys are excited for the series to be released but I promise that once the project is released and I get the okay, you guys get to enjoy this! Miss you goofballs~ xoxo

The photo was one where you were sitting on a table, Scott directly behind you as he grinned into the camera. Gyungmo had his bucket hat over his eyes and gave a hand gesture as John gave a peace sign next to him, and Cline, as always, looked at the camera with all seriousness. Christian was on your other side, sitting right next to you with his arms crossed as he gave the camera a smile.

Christian started with a simple hello, thinking twice before erasing it and trying again. He stared at his screen, tilting his head as he thought of what was the appropriate ice breaker. As he continued to beat himself up, Christian gave up and wrote what he thought was best and pressed sent.

You looked over at the ping from your phone, seeing an Instagram notification. You barely paid attention as you unlocked your phone, eyes focused on the TV screen in front of you, the movie that was on was too good. But you finally focused on your phone and felt shocked at the message.

You blocked Christian after everything happened between you both, knowing fully well that he wanted nothing to do with you. So of course, it seemed out of the blue that he messaged you with a simple hey, one that you clearly had no way on figuring out what it could mean.

You hesitated on answering, not knowing exactly what to say so you instead opted for a more simple and easier solution: exiting the app and ignoring him.

Christian couldn't sleep for the rest of the night, tossing and turning as he thought about checking his phone. He didn't want to seem too eager, trying his best to make time pass by so he can check the message later but the ticking of the wall clock only made his curiosity grow. Finally, with a snatch, Christian took the phone, seeing no notification and he figured you were busy.

"So instead of thinking that she ignored you, you thought she was busy?"

Gyungmo looked at the simple message that Christian sent, showing in fact that you left him on read. Scott's laughter made Christian look away, trying to hide his embarrassment. "You're too whipped," Gyungmo chuckled, Christian taking his phone back.

"Leave me the hell alone, okay? A guy could hope," Christian rolled his eyes, going back to his laptop and going back to work.

The new album and the music video were done. The release date was set and all that was left was for the gang to post it. And, once again, Christian sent you another message.

You shared the post from the DPR page on your Instagram story, accompanied by the eyes emoji and the clapping hands. You felt bad leave Christian on read the first time, not liking it one bit but you worried that he wanted to start trouble again. So you ignored his second message, only saying hello.

Christian sat on his couch, laptop in front of him and music playing when his phone lit up, showing that you were live.

You laid on your bed, phone resting against your pillows as you laughed at a comment Christian seemed to miss, but he couldn't take his eyes off you. You had cut your hair, and freshly dyed it to a dark blue color, complimenting you very well.

"Yeah, I decided it was time for a new change," You gently touched your hair, eyes skimming the comments. "I bought myself new clothes, but then I decided to just take it a step further and changed my hair."

Christian saw a comment from Gyungmo pop up making you smile.

dprcream: new hair? let's match

"Dye your hair blue so I know what we have it real," You giggled, moving your arm to rest your head on it. You continued to read the comments, smiling at some and answering them. Christian bit his lip, getting nervous as he got an idea and began to type sending his message.

dprian: Nice hair! dprian: Lori misses you. She says hi

You stayed quiet, Christian beginning to think you ignored him before you let out a smile, humming softly. "Tell Lori I miss her much more. I wanna see her again," Christian felt his heart flutter, finally getting a response from you and trying his luck again.

dprian: Come over soon, it's not the same in the building without you

You read the message, your lips curving up into a smile at the comment. Maybe it was for show, hiding the fact that an argument between the two of you happened and for you, it was okay. After all, the fans didn't need to get involved. "I'll try to go soon, but if you guys find yourselves around my parts, let me know."

You answered people's questions and talked about upcoming projects before bidding everyone a good night, blowing kisses right as the live shut off. Christian set his phone down, thinking about the live when his phone pinged, making him look at it. He was surprised to see your name on the Instagram notification, going into the messages to see what you had sent.

ynissamood: Listen, you probably did that as a way for people not to suspect what happened between us and that's okay, but please stop sending me messages. I unblocked you so people wouldn't get the wrong idea. I'm sorry for what happened between us, but this is your fault too.

Christian read the message over and over again before he let out a breath, not able to believe what he read. He knew this was his fault too, and he was trying to fix it but it seemed you didn't want that. And, to be frank, Christian had no one to blame but himself.

"Damn, your fucked up big time," Scott shook his head, giving Christian his phone back.

"So what do I do?" Christian asked, dropping the phone on the table in front of him. "How do I apologize for being an absolute asshole?"

"I mean, by doing it ," Scott shrugged, crossing his arms. "Tell her you're sorry and you want to start over."

Christian knew it was his fault too, and if he had to be honest, he knew that it was only his fault. After all, he couldn't blame you for how you felt, this was all on him. And he wanted to fix it as soon as he could. He wanted to go back to the way you both were, comfortable around each other, laughing and enjoying the company like no one's business. But, he had to cross this bridge in order to get there.

Christian stared at his phone that night, biting his lip and messing around with his hair before going into the messages and sending one over.

dprian: Listen, I'm sorry too. I know what I did was out of line but I want to start over. Can we talk? Like over the phone?

It had been over three days since the message was sent and you haven't even opened the message. It wasn't like you weren't online, because you were, but you just didn't open the message. So, Christian decided that he would let you be for a bit before he tried again.

A couple more days passed, the gang finishing the last bit of touches for the release when Gyungmo noticed the notification of a new video from you. He knew Scott had to have been watching it by now so Gyungmo went off to watch the video.

Scott sat on his chair, watching as you messed with a bag, sighing.

"I don't know how to explain it but it's just... an ugly feeling. Like when you're trying your best to draw something but it doesn't come out like you want it to... kind of like that," You played with the drawstring on the bag a bit more, biting your lip before the video cut.

It was a brief moment of you looking out the window, shutting it quickly and yelping when the delivery man spotted you. "I hope he's not judging me... I ordered like 5 large fries..."

"I think I'm gonna take a break from social media for a bit..." The video cut right back to you, sitting at the end of your bed. Legs now crossed as you gave the camera a soft smile. "I'll still post the series and give you guys a heads up but that's about it for me. I just want to take a breather," With one final wave and with a kiss, the video went black.

You smiled at the text from Scott that came in, giving him a call and hearing it ring before his voice was heard. "Are you okay? What's wrong?"

You giggle a bit, taking a seat on your bed. "I'm okay, I just need a break from social media, don't worry much about me."

"Hey, have you heard from y/n?" Gyungmo walked into Scott's studio, Scott flinching a bit from being startled. You laughed as you heard the two argue, Scott trying to explain to him that you were fine while Gyungmo tried to take the phone.

"Do you need me to go over? I'll go right now," Gyungmo laughed as he heard your laughter.

He was about to grab the phone when Scott yanked it away, laughing. You laid on your bed, feeling better when another voice caught your attention. You could hear Christian ask what was going on, Scott answering.

"Hey, we'll call you back, okay?" You knew Gyungmo was doing this for you, knowing that you didn't want to talk to Christian but you let out a breath.

You had to face him one day, and this seemed like a better time, even though you preferred much later. So, as you sat up in bed, you took in a breath, shaking your head. "Lemme talk to him, please?"

"You sure?" Gyungmo turned to Christian who gave him a curious look, Gyungmo hearing you assure him. With some hesitation, Gyungmo handed the phone over to Christian, who stared at it for a bit before taking it.

"Hello?"

You stayed quiet for a bit, biting your tongue before gulping your nerves. "Hey, it's me,"

Christian froze at your voice, looking at Gyungmo and Scott who watched him. Christian hummed, walking out of the room and heading to his studio, and closing the door behind him, locking it in case that Scott or Gyungmo tried to go after him. "Hey, you okay?"

"Yeah, I just need a break from social media... It's getting to be too much," You played with the end of you hair, letting your hand fall to your bed. "How have you been?"

"You know, working and all that," Christian sat on his chair, listening to a bit of rustling on your side.

It was quiet between the two of you, and awkward silence filing you the air. "I'm sorry for being an asshole, I was just mad at you,"

"No, it's okay... I didn't know you had a girlfriend and honestly I was an asshole about it too since I was so hurt about it..." You confessed, hands gripping your shirt.

"Chaeyoung isn't my girlfriend, well, she was never my girlfriend." Your eyebrows furrowed, staying quiet to hear him correctly. "I mean- yeah I dated her, but really it was only for the fact that I wanted to make you jealous. I thought you and Scott were dating." Christian's voice got low, letting you process his confession.

"Wait, you thought that Scott and I...?"

"Yeah, so..." Christian sighed, letting his head fall to his free hand. "I knew Chaeyoung liked me and I used her to get back at you. I figured that eventually I'd forget about you and return the feelings for Chaeyoung but I never did." Christian could hear your breathing, but other than that, it was nothing but silence. "Listen, I'm sorry and I know I was an asshole about it..." Christian trailed off, hearing you giggle before your laughter.

"Wow... and here I thought you were mad at me for kissing you when you had a girlfriend... you really are an asshole,"

Christian let out a breath, laughing along and shaking his head, feeling the weight of anxiety leave him. "I'm so sorry,"

"It's fine, but please tell me Chaeyoung knows and you're still not leading her on or I'll kick you ass,"

"No, she knows. She broke up with me that day in the studio," Christian laughed, his hand moving from covering his face to holding his chin. "I really like you, I still do,"

Your laughter died down, butterflies in your stomach erupting as you whined into the phone. "Don't start acting cute just because we confessed to each other, I'm still mad at you and I'm still going to ignore you,"

Christian couldn't help the laugh that came up and nodded, leaning back into his chair. "Fine, fine... I have to go but I'll text you later?"

You rolled your eyes, shaking your head but smiling. "You better,"

With much anticipation, the album was released and all that was left was your project. You logged into Instagram and quickly uploaded a clip of the first part.

The video was just a black screen, a bit of rustling before you spoke. "So, what inspires you?" There was more rustling and mindless piano playing before Gyungmo began talking.

"Inspiration comes from everywhere,"

The video was posted with the caption of a date, fans immediately excited and you logged back out of Instagram, going back to your task of cooking. You heard the ping of your phone and you finished chopping the vegetables before checking it.

Ian 12:31 PM: You tease Ian 12:31 PM: Of course you would post a black screen with just audio

You laughed at the text, hitting the call button and waiting as the call rang, placing it on speaker. Hearing Christian answer, a quick hello filling the kitchen.

“You busy?”

“For you? Never.” Christian leaned back into his chair, ignoring his task of editing his new project and focusing fully on you.

You began cooking the vegetables for the food, bringing the phone closer. “I need to talk to you about the upcoming part of the video, the last time we talked about it you were a bit of an-“

“Yeah I know,” Christian laughed, cutting you off. “I trust you, plus you made plenty of notes on what to hide and all that.” You smiled, butterflies appearing at how Christian remembered how you made notes for every piece of video you recorded.

“You sure? I can send it when I finish so you can look over it.”

“No, I trust you.”

The conversation continued as you cooked and Christian clicked around his computer. You pouted when he didn’t tell you about his project, dramatically sighing and complaining before laughing as Christian mocked you.

"Just know that it's something I haven't done in a real long time." Christian laughed at your groan, knowing you were never going to guess about him recording his own song.

“Hey, can I say something?" You set your plate down on the kitchen table, transferring the bit of leftovers to a bowl which you knew it was bound to get eaten when your friend arrived.

"Sure," Christian had picked up his task during the call, only clicking around, doing small things that didn't need his full attention. But he stopped working on his project, waiting for you as you continued. He heard the bit of shuffling on your end, knowing fully well that you were hesitating on saying something.

"I'm sorry, about everything. I'm sorry I treated you and Chaeyoung so bad, and I know that you're going to say that it wasn't my fault but I shouldn't have done that to her. She's a nice girl and I feel really bad. But it hurt really bad and I didn't know how to deal with that pain."

Christian was at a lost for words, his brain running a mile minute as he processed your words. He knew how nice you were, but it never occurred to him how you must have felt being so cold toward him and Chaeyoung. And yeah, it wasn't intentional, but still, he knew you must have felt so bad.

"Christian-"

"God I love you,"

It took Christian exactly six seconds to fully understand what had just happened. You were frozen in place, the confession being so sudden and almost uncalled for.

"Oh shit, shit, wait. Please I didn't- I mean I did but... fuck I'm so sorry-" With a click, the line was cut, and like that, Christian's panicked. He called you again and again, the line ringing until voicemail was hit. Finally, on the fifth call, there was no ringing, voicemail answered right away.

With desperation, Christian rushed out of his studio and into Scott's. With no sign of anyone, Christian rushed downstairs only to crash into Cline. "What are you doing?" Cline practically screamed as Christian began to pat him down. Cline tried backing away until Christian pinned him down, taking Cline's phone out of his pocket.

"Unlock it! Hurry up!" Cline, now scared, took the phone back and unlocked it with shaky hands. Christian yanked the phone out of Cline's hands, searching up your name and calling you.

The phone rang a few times before it stopped mid-ring. "Cline, can I call you back?"

"Please, listen to me-"

"Christian, just... I need to think,"

You were shocked, confused but definitely not expecting that. I mean, yeah, you expected that, but not this soon. You wanted time to think and time to build what you had with Christian.

So there you stood, staring at the kitchen counter as Christian's words bouncing around in your head. When you snapped back, you looked at your phone, seeing missed calls from Christian. Your phone froze for a second when Cline's call came in, making you sigh.

At the sound of Christian's voice though, your eyes widened.

"Please, just..." Christian was lost for words, the silence on your end making his mind run fast with endless amounts of scenarios on how wrong this was all going. “I’m sorry, I know we’re starting over but-”

"Ian..." The sound of the name you called him made Christian stop talking, freezing to hear you say it again. "It's fine. It was sudden but... This is moving too fast. Just... let me breathe."

And with a final click, the dial tone replaced your voice.

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