#dph abuse

[cigarettestreetlight]

Westworld spoilers maybe?? Also drug/ dph mention//

I'm finally trying to finish Westworld now that they want to take it off hbo, which is absolute bullshit and I'm ridiculously upset about that bc honestly wtf? But anyway, I'm now on the last few episodes of season 3 and I'm a little bit confused which is normal for me ig, especially bc the last time I saw the beginning of season 3 I was taking a lot of Benadryl (honestly I still am now, not my best idea) so my memory is absolute shit and I kinda don't remember how I got here. But I'm on s3e6 where William/ the man in black is in some psych ward thing having the meeting with all the versions of him and an old James. And I mean I've always loved Williams character so just seeing all of him talking with other versions of himself is just amazing and so fun, I live that this was even a scene honestly. And yeah, William is nowhere near being a saint and he's fucked up a lot a lot, but I just adore his character arc and just as a character in general. He's incredibly interesting just in the way he's portrayed and his choices and I think he's one of my top 3 favorite characters and god I just love how Ed Harris shows him and oml. I absolutely adore William. That's all, thank you.

[sykkophreak]

good shit

[angelstrawbabie420]

in my quest to quell my pain ive only hurt myself worse. damned if i do damned if i dont.

[arachnidsgrippysocks]

I had an unfortun8 situ8ion happen recently haha don't 8e an idiot out of desper8ion

[anonymouscadaver]

I want a crazy gf

Not like quirky crazy or just freaky

Like I want to be able to comfort someone as insane as me and help them through their mental illness

The world is not accepting but I can be

I believe nobody normal will love me and I know many others share this belief

So if we're both crazy we can be slightly better and not alone

[korithefox]

Its wild how i crave benadryl so much when i've never had a fun or even remotely enjoyable trip. Like every part of it just sucks

Pills taste like ass and the taste stays in your mouth (or at least mine) for some reason. Then once they hit: Nausea. Dry mouth. Feeling the need to pee every few minutes even when nothing comes out. The fact that even when something does come out it's physically difficult to actually get it out. Racing heart. Restlessness. Tingling/numb limbs. Inability to balance when standing or even sitting upright. Lightheadedness. Brain fog. And then finally passing out and sleeping like a rock for hours once your body calms down enough, only to wake up still tired and feeling like you got hit by several large vehicles. I'm lucky that I've never hallucinated or had nightmares because from what i've read that shit is genuinely terrifying

There is nothing even vaguely worth it about a dph trip and i wouldn't recommend taking more than a normal dosage to anyone in a million years. But still, for whatever reason, those little pink pills are always calling to me

[wormsdyke]

inner child work is so hard like how am i supposed to know if something is just a regular part of the experience of growing up or if other people in fact did not spend several years in the Evil Realm Where God Punishes You For The Sin Of Your Existence

[melancholicvnt]

hey um. PSA for anyone who does DPH: combining DPH and alcohol can cause vtach and torsade de pointes (i.e. Bad Heart Things) when combined. there are a bunch of case studies/medical papers done on this. so don’t combine ‘em!

[latefrequencies]

.

tbh I am Very Okay with the fact that the Tumblr Withnail and I fandom died RIGHT before I became an addict bc as someone who took 750 mg of DPH watching that movie and playing the drinking game but with pills, I do Not think I would have survived that, possibly fucking literally

(also fucking. people shipping Withwood after the thing I had JUST gone through would have been AUEUGHGH)

[toxicindividual]

Todays post

[kunosoura]

not to be a hater or sound like DARE but it does put me off a bit seeing normies who've never had more than like maybe a hit of weed doing hat man jokes like it just conceptually annoys me. do you get that the thing being discussed here is regularly using DPH at high enough doses to eat holes in your brain like cheese. like do what you want i'm not a cop but the thing being alluded to here is regularly abusing something that will damage your neurological system long term

[keiiniine]

🌐 THE ワン && ONLY iiS BACK ONLiiNE.ᐟ.ᐟ 🦴

HELLO!! My name is Kei or Dex. I’m a 17 year old aspiring PNGTuber.

I use neopronouns and xenopronouns!!; Dey/dem, he/him, it/its, ix/ixs, x/xs, paw/paws, star/stars, wan/wans, pain/pains. Click on them for a demo on how to use them!!

I’m a trans man femboy, as well as binsexual and grayromantic!!

I suffer from ASD (PDA subtype), DCD, C-PTSD, chronic GAD, and DID. I’m being assessed for EDNOS and ADHD. I use a cane and suffer from chronic pain as well!!

I abuse DPH and have for two years, as well as slit for nine years. I’ve given up on recovery.

I LiKE <3 … Friday Night Funkin’ (unironically), Furbies, The Museum of Anything Goes, 携帯電獣TELEFANG, ローリーポーリーズの七転び八起き, Pokémon, психоняшки (I’m kinda new), Baldi’s Basics, Sanrio, miscellaneous lost media gubbins, and The Amazing Digital Circus (also unironically)!!

MUSiC I LiKE!! … MARETU, Femtanyl, 神聖かまってちゃん, Lauren Bousfield, horrormovies, Rory in Early 20s, crucifyapril, Renard Queenston, Kikuo, goreshit, Candye Syrup … always looking for more artists to get into btw!!

I WANT TO GET iNTO … Needy Streamer Overload, Project Sekai, Happy Sugar Life, Magical Girl Site, Madoka Magica, Doki Doki Literature Club, Higurashi When They Cry

I HATE </3 … Spiders, flies, people who switch their entire personalities and opinions to match whatever’s trending, the North Korean government

DNI!! … Basic criteria (racist, homophobic, transphobic, etc etc), “mental health matters” mfs who switch up when it’s not a “quirky” disorder, darkshippers, people who support all “good-faith” identities, “heh…yea…i watch gore…it…helps me relax…😈” mfs

NOTES … I’m pretty new to the jirai subculture so please bear with me and give me any tips or suggestions if you have them!! I’m always willing and happy to learn!! I’m severely mentally ill; most important part for this blog is I suffer from rapid and extreme mood swings and will probably be blogging about those mood swings

[souvlakicocaine]

guys gimme recs 4 otc meds 2 abuse. I’ve already tried dxm n pseudoephedrine and I don’t wanna do dph so I needs ideas

[terriblymessedup]

I've been under a considerable amount of stress lately. During these times of stress I've made a lot of mistakes. One of the worst being DPH.

💊 Dph in small doses is used to control allergies and help people sleep (up to 50 mg)

💊 After 50 mg you start getting the reverse effects.

You no longer have the option to sleep. You have gone to hell.

💊 The first thing you will notice is a growing sense of unease becoming a whole ass sense of impending doom.

💊 (tw spiders) they are everywhere. crawling all over everything. it's hard to tell what's real bc dph is a dangerous deliriant.

💊 you may hallucinations very terrible circumstances but it's too late. You can't take it out now. You can try water and vomiting but can you even remember how long it's been since you took it?? It's probably all absorbed.

💊 You may forget you took anything. This can lead to disaster. Especially if you go out. Other people will be able to tell you're on something though.

💊 You can't think clearly. You can't drive. You can barely move. You are also unable to pee.

💊 Oding in on it can and will cause irreversible brain damage, cause seizures, and death.

💊 There will be people walking around your room. That is enough to make a lot of people uneasy.

💊 You might be convinced someone is out to get you or that you're going to get caught.

💊 you might switch to manual breathing where you have to think about it or you won't take a breath and the short term memory loss is huge.

💊 you will constantly forget what you are doing or saying. It will be impossible to hold a thought or to talk to others.

💊 you could have a fall because your body feels too weird to move or heavy. Sometimes you just can't get yourself back up.

💊 you might think someone is talking to you.

You will hear their voice clear as day and respond- then they'll say they didn't say anything.

💊 Terror and anxiety will build, leaving you a complete wreck. You will hate almost every moment of it but you won't want to stop.

💊 did I mention the possibility of redosing thinking you didn't take anything yet? Let's say you planned on taking like 6- forget and do that over and over in a loop and B4 you know it you are absolutely f*cked.

-

so, to sum it up.

This will make you hear and see horrifying things and events while you have no mental capacity to distinguish it from the reality around you. Friends and loved ones might walk up and start talking to you or yelling at you but they won't be there. You may have long term organ and brain damage. You will see spiders and translucent people wondering around. You may get PTSD from this. You may become ADDICTED even if you absolutely hate it.

You want to stay away from this stuff.

Please don't abuse OTC.

I know you might be sad and desperate but I promise you experiencing this will not make your life any better. The only reason why I can remotely enjoy it is bc I am seriously mentally ill and even though I tried to get help for years I still remain unable to manage.

[princess-pill-enjoyer]

life's been okay. nothing special. days just keep on going. ive had a job for bout 2 weeks. ig thats not really an achievement tbh.

before this, that work from home place i was barely working, prolly 5-10 hours a week. and i'd slither out of those where possible anyway. this one week i worked a whopping 2 hours within 2 weeks. I was planning on killing myself and occasionally tried to all throughout having those jobs so i wasn't really worried about the consequences

before that the only other in person job i had was for my ex best friend. she worked there so i applied and got a job o work with her. only for her to quit 2 weeks after i got in whiich lead me to quit prolly a week n a half later cause i finally got fed up with the manager.

so now, even tho it ain't the longest ive held down a place, its the first that i really cared to put in effort to hold a job.

im semi celebrating but im honestly miserable. my feet hurt so fucking bad so it literally doesnt matter how good my hours are i never want to leave my bed. the people up there are so cliquey and on my 2nd day out of training one of my coworkers went off on me for going too slow and "not putting in my part". theyre starting to give me longer and longer shifts. i went from working 3-4 8 hour shifts per week to working 3 doubles just like that. they sooo generously give an hour and a half break in between the 6:30-3 and 4:30-8 shift but.. who in their right mind is even leaving atp? i live too far for that. i'd be home for at most an hour. waste of gas.

and to me what's worse, this whole situation is exactly what i've been avoiding. i knew it'd come down to this someday. but what alternative do i have?

HA. you know as a kid, i never understood addiction. I never thought I'd have to deal with it. By the time I was 8 I knew I'd kill myself someday. if i ever felt bad, that'd be what i'd do. no need to force myself to do something i didnt really wanna do. but now it seems so easy. i don't know what i wanna do from here. i hate my job. i hate my home life. i dont like to talk to my friends anymore. im bored of games. im bored of music. bored of tv.

whisking the days away doing what i have to would be a lot easier if i didnt have to be fully present for all of this. just something to pass the time until i have a better handle on what's the next move. right now, the only thing i can do is save up money. i have shit to pay off if i wanna keep a good credit score and i have things i need to buy. what's me hating every second gonna change?

though i know it's a slippery slope. abusing shit aint gon work out as smooth as I wish it would. I'll get addicted and then I'll get used to feeling that way so it'll take more for me not to get annoyed. then it'll turn back to me immediately running back to it for every minor situation. and honestly with the job i got i'd just have to hope i would be able to push through it without it being noticeable

i'm not happy i stopped. i feel like had i still been on dph i would've known for a fact how to make myself look normal. i could be gone out my mind but long as i get the shit right i could just daze through the days. but ya know. now. i ratted myself out

and now im stuck.

nothing more for me to do. nothing else i could be doing. nothing else i should be worried about other than making money

I never understood why adults always told me i'd miss being a kid since i was always struggling so bad. all they ever said is that my problems then were gonna feel like nothing once i was an adult. but they were wrong. i guess for now. but all i wish now is that i used all that freetime back when nooo one woulda suspected anything if i was away for a lil while. back when i wasnt ful grown and it'd prolly take a whooole lot less to finish the job

but here we are. forced to keep going and doing what i can to suppress what i really wanna do

ah speaking of which... i got pissed the other day and i tossed one of my drawers and broke it. then broke my bottle for my vitamins by throwing it to the ground. then i accidentally knocked over this container of beads and instead of just sweeping it back into the thing and reducing the mess, i just kicked it as hard as i could and tore the container apart. there's still beads everywhere

that is something i can't force myself to contain anymore. everything else i've been dealing with fine but when im pissed im pissed. i gotta get that under control too

[korithefox]

Reading my own texts from within 1-2 hours of the pills hitting is like holy shit i was even less coherent than i thought

Im assuming that i kept falling asleep in the middle of the conversation, i don't remember sending most of the messages, i can't even figure out what i was trying to say, at one point i just stopped using the space bar, and i sent a random ass picture of the sky for some reason??

250 mg at 8am will do that to you ig 🤷🏽‍♂️