#doyoung looks so hot i am not okay

[kaleidohscopic]

TRY AGAIN — JJH

PAIRING: jaehyun x female reader SUMMARY: if you could have it your way, you'd never have to see, hear, or even think about jeong jaehyun ever again. a fortuitous blind date, and that same dimpled smile after all those years, is somehow enough to make you reconsider. maybe he was always meant to be by your side. GENRE: exes to lovers! au, slight coworkers! au, romance, angst, slow burn, humour, some pining, a touch of smut WARNINGS: swearing, alcohol consumption, too many descriptions of coffee and wine, mentions of sex, general mature content and themes, reader is not good at talking about her feelings, joy x doyoung, i try to write about the complexity of relationships and personal growth (i fail miserably) WORD COUNT: 32.4k NOTE: oh. my god. it's finally here! there's certainly something different about writing for your ult. office scenes inspired by the internship i did at a big 4 firm that ended up rejecting everyone from my department (yes i'm still bitter). i actually wanted to get this out back in august to celebrate jolo but alas, Life. i guess this is a parting gift? (jaehyun i am nothing and nobody without you.) i poured a lot of heart into this fic and posting it feels like letting my child go out into the world alone... be safe my darling xx

You should’ve brought an umbrella. 

The early evening sky was darkening faster than usual, ominous grey clouds hovering between the skyscrapers like an unspoken but imminent threat. Though the ground was still dry, you had a feeling it wouldn’t be for long. Your haste to leave your apartment this morning had robbed you of the good sense to check the weather forecast, mind too preoccupied with tonight’s agenda to spare a thought for the possible torrential downpour that summer seemed to be so fond of. 

A glance down at your feet sent a twinge of annoyance through you. Of course you picked the black pumps to wear today. They were pretty, which was why you had slipped them on in the first place, wanting to make a good impression even if you told yourself you didn’t really care that much, but they were also expensive, and you did not want to get them wet. You said a silent prayer. Hopefully the impending rain would be kind to the leather.

“You better not be flaking,” Joy warned, voice crackling through your phone speaker. “I don’t really care what he thinks of you for not showing up, but it’ll reflect badly on me, and I can’t have that.”

You suppressed a smile. Ever the drama queen.

“I am literally walking out of the station right now. The Italian place, right?” you asked, pausing for a moment at the top of the stairs to gather your surroundings. The restaurant she had picked out wasn’t exactly an unknown location to you, but it had been a while since you last visited, and the buildings seemed to look back at you with a dazed unfamiliarity.

She gave an affirmative hum. “Two streets down from the exit. The reservation is under my name, but I think he might be there already.”

“Yippee. How exciting.”

There was a loud sigh from the other end of the line, and you could almost hear her rolling her eyes at you. “You do know I set this up with your best interests at heart, right?”

“Are you sure it’s not because you were bored and needed to use some poor soul for your own entertainment?”

“Hey, I’m not the one who put three packets of salt in Jungwoo’s coffee,” she fired back. 

Okay, maybe that one was on you. But it had been pretty funny seeing him spit it out all over the office kitchen counter and then meticulously clean up the mess with paper towels, all the while eyeing everyone on your floor with suspicion.

“I’m just saying,” she continued, “give him a chance. I think you guys could really like each other.” There was a pause. “Plus, he’s super fucking hot. Like if I wasn’t happily taken I would be climbing him like a tree.”

“Gross. I’m filing a complaint with HR.”

“Reporting me to my own department? I’ll make sure that file never even makes it through the portal,” she cackled at your empty threat, and you joined in with her. “Seriously though, just give him a chance. At least stay until the mains come out.”

“Fine,” you acquiesced, though you made sure she heard the huff that accompanied it. “But if he starts talking about cryptocurrency I am leaving.” 

Joy only laughed, assuring you he probably wouldn’t, and bid you goodbye with a parting command for you to enjoy yourself. 

On days like these, you couldn’t decide whether you were grateful or unlucky to have been placed on a team with her for your first project at the company. Technically speaking, Joy was your senior by almost two years, but even at that first daily stand-up half a year ago, filled with nervous smiles and clumsy introductions, you had the feeling the two of you would gel. By the time that first project wrapped up, the two of you had long progressed past mere co-workers, having bonded over 8-hour days of Powerpoint formatting and your mutual dislike of olives. You had never been more thankful for someone so vivacious to show you the ropes, and help you settle into the new environment with such ease.

However, Joy was a meddler.

Her meddling was what had you currently navigating the crumbly asphalt in your nicest shoes to meet the apparent hunk she had set you up with. You didn’t know much about the guy since she refused to give you his name, afraid you’d search him up on social media and then make up some excuse to back out once you had seen his face — like you had done with the previous two that she’d picked out for you.

Apparently, this one was from the Digital department, and had been at the company for a little over a year. Those were two out of the three pieces of information that she had deigned to bestow upon you, the third being that he had dimples, which she thought you’d appreciate.

Oh, and now the fourth one being that he was ‘super fucking hot’.

Who knew? Maybe you would enjoy yourself. Getting back into the dating scene was pretty low on your priorities, with your career and trying to stick to a consistent gym routine taking up the majority of your time, but you were never opposed to a bit of fun. 

Maybe Mr Super-Fucking-Hot could be a bit of fun. 

Just take it easy, you thought to yourself, spotting the glass windows of the restaurant as you rounded the corner. Il Giardino, read the sign that hung above the door. Cute.

Hastily, you shifted your bag and cardigan to the other arm and smoothed out the creases in your black trousers. You had tried for something a little dressy, but also office-appropriate since you were coming straight from work, and not like you had tried too hard and spent an unnecessary number of hours thinking about what to wear on this stupid blind date. Another quick glance at your reflection in the window, just to make sure there was no food or lipstick in your teeth, and you pushed past the door.

Soft jazz filtered through your ears as you stepped inside. The restaurant was nicely decorated, a few vintage Italian posters hanging on the exposed brick walls, and an overall rustic feel that paired well with the warm, earthy ambience. Judging by the patrons already seated, this place was a popular date night location, with all but one table occupied by couples sharing soft touches and flirty smiles over half-filled glasses of red wine.

Joy certainly knew how to pick a spot.

You gave the smiling hostess Joy’s name for the reservation, managing a weak smile of your own when she informed you that the other half of your party had already arrived, and followed her through the tables further into the restaurant. Outside, the first few raindrops had begun to splatter against the asphalt, slowly darkening the road with wet patches that were sure to grow into puddles. It seemed you had arrived just in time to escape the rain.

The hostess stopped at a more private table towards the back, and gestured towards the empty seat with that same welcoming smile. Mystery man, aka Mr Super-Fucking-Hot, was sat with his back to you, leafing through what you assumed to be the drinks menu. His silhouette from behind was alright-looking, you supposed, if you really had to put a label to it, but there was something vaguely familiar about the shape of his head. Perhaps you had crossed paths in the office lobby before?

You approached the table, trying to sneak a peek of him out of the corner of your eye, just to see if he lived up to Joy’s oh-so-generous description, without being so painfully obvious—

And froze.

“Is everything alright?” the hostess asked, still beaming at you. 

You barely heard her through the cotton wool that seemed to suddenly fill your ears, hands instantly clamming up as you took in the man in front of you. His warm eyes widened a fraction of a millimetre with recognition, quickly followed by something else you couldn’t place.

This was not happening.

“Is everything okay?” the hostess tried again. The corners of her mouth were beginning to slip, and she cast you a mildly concerned glance.

How strange you must have looked, standing stock-still beside your reserved table like a statue. The only things that could dispel the notion you had suddenly turned into stone were the light flush to your cheeks, and the deafening pounding of your own heart that you were sure the whole restaurant could hear.

“Everything’s fine, just give us a minute please,” Jaehyun finally said, flashing the hostess a kind smile. She took her cue to leave, but not without another curious look between the two of you, hurriedly brushing away the waiter who was approaching the table and preparing to rattle off the specials. 

Hearing his voice seemed to break the spell that had rendered you so immobile. You straightened, shifting your bag higher up your shoulder, and turned to leave. Whatever this was, you were not entertaining it.

Chair legs screeched abruptly against the floor. 

“Wait,” he pleaded. 

Your eyes landed on his hand latched around your wrist first, before they moved to his face again. Slowly, his fingers loosened, but he kept you in his hold. 

“Will you sit, please?” he asked softly. 

You looked at him. Really looked at him, taking in his full, straight brows, the slope of his nose, the pinkness of his lips. His cheeks had slimmed since you had last seen him, allowing the sharpness of his jaw to really come through. Breathtakingly handsome as he always had been. A little older, a little more masculine, and yet somehow still the same.

And maybe because you still saw him, the boy that you loved, the first and likely only boy you had ever truly loved, you did sit, sliding into your chair like it was made of ice.

“It’s been a while,” he began, lowering back into his seat. You gave no indication that you had heard him at all, eyes focused on the flickering tealight candle at the centre of the table. The wax was a pinkish red colour, and the light scent coming from it was sweet, with a touch of tartness. Pomegranate, maybe. At your silence, he cleared his throat and tried again. “How have you—”

“Did you plan this?”

He pulled back a bit, as if in genuine shock. “No, I swear, I had no idea it was you. Joy only told me it was someone from her department, and that you were pretty, and she thought you’d be my type.” A pause. “Did you?”

Your reply was icy. “Why would I plan to see you?”

He looked away at that, sucking in a breath through his teeth. You were probably mistaken, but something akin to hurt flashed in those eyes as he gave a short nod at your words. Likely a trick of the light. It was a little too dim in here. What reason would he have to be hurt? Why would he be bleeding when you were the one with cuts all over your hands from picking up the glass shards of your own broken heart?

An uncomfortable beat passed. “Well, I’d say it was nice to see you, but you know I’m not good at lying,” you said. Shouldn’t have sat down in the first place.

Grabbing your bag and cardigan, you made to stand up again, regretting your decision to come here, regretting giving in to Joy so easily, regretting leaving the house this morning without a stupid fucking umbrella. The drizzle outside had turned into a downpour in no time, and the street drains were definitely going to clog up tonight. 

Seoul and its fucking summer monsoon season.

“Can we just—please, can you—fuck. Can we have dinner and just talk? As friends?” His hand shot out across the table, as if itching to grab yours again, but thought better of it, letting his fingertips rest against the edges of the linen napkin you hadn’t even bothered to unfold. 

A refraction of light from his sleeve caught your eye. His cufflinks. He was wearing the cufflinks you had gotten him for your high school graduation all those years ago. 

They had been expensive. Four months of pay from your part-time job at the ice-cream parlour was just enough for the pale pearls set in sterling silver. You supposed it would have been silly of him to throw them away when they were so valuable. It wasn’t like you had thrown away the gold pendant he had given you either. That necklace hadn’t hung around your neck for a long time, but it still sat somewhere in the depths of your jewellery box, underneath all the newer ones you had bought for yourself or received from friends over the years.

“Fine,” you found yourself saying. “Sure. As friends. Why not?” 

Sinking back into your seat, you reached for the wine menu immediately. Enduring the next hour in the company of your ex-boyfriend without a drink? Unbearable. As much as you liked to convince yourself you were over him, from your behaviour tonight it was clear you most certainly were not, and only alcohol could soothe that blow to your pride.

Your eyes flitted down the page of reds, then the whites, then the sparklings. Christ, the prices in this place were not pretty. Joy would have to be in a completely separate tax bracket from you if these were the kinds of establishments she frequented. 

For a brief moment, you thought about ordering the most expensive bottle on the list — a Penfold’s 2018 Shiraz — just to be spiteful, but decided against it. If you were really going to be sharing a meal ‘as friends’, he would not be footing the entire bill. You wouldn’t let him.

The waiter, under the impression that things had somewhat cooled down, finally approached your table, albeit a bit cautiously. Hearing but not really listening, you let him sing praises about the wild mushroom ravioli, ordering it just to save yourself the effort of reading through the rest of the menu. When he reached the beverages portion of his spiel, you settled for a more reasonable bottle, a 2021 merlot.

It was only once he had left to put your orders in that you realised that you had not even checked if Jaehyun was driving tonight.

“I’ll pay for the wine, if you’re not drinking,” you said, fiddling with your napkin. You could probably finish the whole bottle yourself anyway. Maybe that would make it easier to look him in the eye.

“You really don’t need to do that,” he replied, voice soft but firm. The weight of his eyes on you was almost a tangible thing. “I’ll have a glass.”

Your waiter returned, making a show of uncorking the bottle before pouring it out into both your glasses. You couldn’t down the first one fast enough, draining half the contents in one long mouthful like it was your first taste of water after finishing a marathon. Jaehyun was more deliberate with his glass, taking only a few small sips before he set it down on the table again. If he noticed the speed at which you emptied yours, which it was pretty hard not to with the way you were gulping the wine down, he said nothing.

God, this was fucking awkward.

“So,” he began, trying to mask the crack of his voice with a cough, “what made you agree to this thing?”

You reached for the bottle. “Felt like I owed it to Joy,” you said, pouring yourself another glass. “I flaked out of the last two she organised.” 

Maybe you should have just gone on that first one with Taehyung, or Taehyun, or whatever his name was. Then you could have avoided this situation altogether. 

“So you do this kind of thing a lot, then?” came his careful question.

You were curt. “No.” 

He blinked a few times, the movements slow with confusion at the abruptness of your answer. You knew you were being difficult. You wanted to be. Five years could heal most things, but unspoken words could linger like splinters under your fingernails, festering below the surface. Calluses had hardened over the splinters of your breakup, tough and protective, but now it was as if they were pushing through to the surface again, your fingers newly tender at the sight of him after all those years. 

A small part of you wanted to give him a taste of your hurt, wanted him to feel the prick of tiny wood chips in the flesh behind his nail beds. The larger part, however, knew malice would do no good for you. You had survived the pain. There was no reason to survive poison as well.

“No, I don’t,” you tried again, a little softer, a little less jagged around the edges. “I think she just likes to set them up for fun. This is my first time on one of these blind uh…” The word date sat heavy on the tip of your tongue but refused to budge. “One of these things.” Maybe another mouthful of wine would wash it down.

“Her definition of fun can be rather interesting,” he said, politely filling the silence.

You hummed in agreement, raising the freshly filled wine glass to your mouth again as you scrambled around in your head for something, anything to say. It had been a while since you had last been out on the dating scene, and you were well aware of it, but good grief, it was like your conversational skills had evaporated into thin air.

“How do you know Joy?” was what you decided on after a deliberately slow sip.

Thankfully, Jaehyun seemed to still know how to carry a conversation. “She’s one of the HR reps for Digital, so we’ve spoken a few times before. And her boyfriend is a friend from university.” He paused to take a sip of his wine. “Have you met him?”

You shook your head lightly. “No, not yet. Hoping to, soon.” 

“You’ll like him. Doyoung’s a great guy. Patience of a saint.”

“He’d have to be to keep up with her,” you said, hints of a chuckle sprinkled in your voice. 

Something about the fact that he was already privy to more of Joy’s personal life than you were had a sliver of jealousy wriggling in your stomach. She was supposed to be your friend, and yet you knew very little about Doyoung besides his name, while your ex-boyfriend across from you had been buddy-buddy with him for probably years and years. Not that it was a competition to see who held more information about their coworker outside the office, but the feeling that you were somewhat losing didn’t sit well.

“It’s actually my first time on a blind date as well,” he said, allowing himself a tentative smile. “You know how convincing she can be. I mean, I don’t think I’d ever go on one if she hadn’t roped me in. It feels a bit silly meeting up with a complete stranger, you know?” He turned his smile to you, still tentative but coloured with a tinge of hopefulness, like he wanted you to understand, like he knew you would. 

How could you not? There had once been a time where you believed that you and Jaehyun had been two halves of the same soul, carved into existence from the same stone. There had once been a time where you knew him almost better than he knew himself. 

A time rather distant from now.

You kept your answer non-committal. “Sure,” you murmured, wishing his pretty face wouldn’t fall so quickly at your nonchalance, wishing you hadn’t caught the slightest droop to the curve of his mouth. Everything about him was still too familiar. “I’m just a bit surprised to hear that, I guess. You were so desperate to meet new people back then.”

Three seconds passed in silence. 

His eyes dropped to his lap, as did yours to your own. This previously reasonable bottle of merlot was loosening your lips rather unreasonably.

“Sorry, that was—” Unnecessary? Mean? 

True? 

“I didn’t mean to say that,” you finally managed, the words spilling out of your mouth in a tumbled rush. 

Or maybe you had. 

Jaehyun could only flash you a weak smile. “It’s fine,” he said, though you both knew it wasn’t really.

Frigidity returned to the air between you, stopped just short of freezing over by the reappearance of your waiter, along with a plate of goat’s cheese arancini. Jaehyun politely gestured for you to eat first, watching as you speared the crusty surface with your fork and moved it over to your own plate. For a few seconds, the only noises that could be heard from the table were the clinks and clanks of stainless steel utensils against ceramic plates. The arancini could not have come at a better time, affording both of you the opportunity to hide behind the guise of eating, and put off the need to make strained conversation, even if the time it bought you was fleeting.

Meet new people. Those were the exact words he had said to you all those years ago. Han River on a Tuesday night, cherry blossom petals fluttering through the balmy April air, the iciness of winter finally melting away into a distant memory to reveal fresh green carpets and vivid blooms — few things could have been more romantic. Spring is the season of love, they said. 

But for you, spring was the season of loss. It was the season when love ended, when love could be taken back and snatched away in the blink of an eye. On a Tuesday night in April, you learned that your love was not just not enough, but that it was a burden, an obstacle between Jaehyun and living his life to the fullest. That time spent with you was time squandered. That you were robbing him of the complete university experience, and to an extent, his youth.

Jaehyun had always been a wanter. He wanted boldly and he wanted freely, never dwelling too long on how his wanting could appear in the eyes of others, never shy about his desires. When he was ten years old, he wanted a dog, despite the reddening of his nose and the watering of his eyes whenever he’d get within arm’s distance of the bichon frisé. In tenth grade, he wanted you, with cans of peach soda and sweet little notes in your locker until you finally said yes to being his girlfriend after three days of public pursuit. 

(You had arguably wanted him more, and for longer, though nobody had been none the wiser — you were rather good at hiding your feelings.)

Two months into your first year at university, his wants changed. He wanted more space and more freedom to meet new people. He wanted to be able to attend club social outings, and get to know his seniors, and play drinking games with his new roommates, instead of trekking to the other side of Seoul every week to see you, his girlfriend, who had now become his obligation.

It would have been a lie to say you hadn’t noticed a shift in his behaviour in the months leading up to that fateful night. Smiles had become a little wearier. Texts had become sparser. You had chalked it up to the challenges of settling into the new routine and rigorous coursework, and the distance between your schools that occupied opposite sides of the city. Sure, the hour-long subway ride from his campus to yours wasn’t the greatest asset to your relationship, but 18-year-old you had remained optimistic it would endure whatever curveballs your first year of university and the beginnings of real adulthood would throw at you. 

You had survived the CSAT together and emerged in one piece. What else could be harder than that?

“You’re right though,” he said quietly, eyes fixed on his own piece of fried goat’s cheese. “I guess I was.”

You let your fork drop with a soft clang. “Let’s not, uh—we don’t have to talk about that.” Pink petals were swimming at the edges of your vision. 

Please, let’s not talk about that.

A flicker of something behind his eyes could almost convince you he wanted exactly the opposite of your unspoken plea. Maybe this was a conversation he didn’t actually want to avoid the way you so desperately did. 

And maybe he would have said something too, if not for the waiter who returned at that precise moment. 

“The mushroom ravioli,” the waiter announced, setting the plate down in front of you, “and the amatriciana spaghetti. Enjoy.” 

Four pieces of pasta covered in sage butter looked back up at you. 

You made a mental note to never order ravioli at an Italian restaurant ever again. 

The sound of scraping utensils returned to your table, lightly blanketing the stilted pause in conversation with idle noise. Without much enthusiasm, you sliced at one of the four pieces of your ravioli, throwing what you hoped were sneaky glances at the full plate of spaghetti sitting in an appetising red sauce laid out before your ex-boyfriend. 

“Do you want to try mine?”

Sneakiness had never been your forte.

Your polite refusal came quickly, even if it was rather weak to your own ears, but Jaehyun was already twirling a portion out onto the share plate the waiter had kindly provided a few minutes earlier. He made sure to scoop some sauce and pancetta bits on top as well, before gently pushing the plate towards you. 

“Thanks,” you mumbled, though you made no move to dig in.

Everything wasn’t supposed to feel this familiar. You weren’t supposed to soften so easily at the sight of his dimpled smile. You weren’t supposed to feel that strange tug in your chest at his thoughtfulness, at the way he could still pick up the slightest change in your expression. And maybe the bar was too low, and here you were fawning over nothing more than the bare minimum, because what guy would see his date enviously looking at his food instead of her own and blatantly ignore it?

But with Jaehyun, it was different. You knew it was. Within every action, there was familiarity and practice, there was thought and care, there were years of history that were unerasable, even with the passage of time. You weren’t the same wide-eyed teenagers now as you had been then, and yet scenes from the rest of that excruciating first semester flickered in your mind. 

A silent breakdown during a business administration lecture. Your roommate’s concerned expression when you decided to skip dinner again.

The tug in your chest was leading you back into dangerous territory. 

For the third time tonight, you debated grabbing your things and walking straight out. You had only promised Joy that you would stay until the mains came out. If you were going to leave now, technically, you would still have fulfilled your end of the promise. Arguably, this wasn’t the best time to make an exit — fifteen minutes earlier would have been much better so that the kitchen would have time to cancel your stupid ravioli before they started preparing it. Leaving now wouldn’t be the most optimal, but it was still an option. A tad heavy on the dramatics, but you could live with that. You’d just never be able to step foot in this establishment again.

A shame. The spaghetti looked good. You’d have to search up if this place did delivery.

“You can go if you really want to, I won’t hold it against you,” Jaehyun said quietly. His eyes were fixed on the fork he was twirling through his dish. You supposed you should’ve been surprised at the way he could read your mind without even looking at you, but you couldn’t find the energy in you to pretend.

“But,” he continued at your silence, “if you’re willing to stay, I’d really like it if we could just catch up?” At this, he finally met your eyes and offered a small smile. “It has been a while, after all.”

Maybe it was the sincerity contained in those soft brown eyes. Maybe it was because you really did want to try the amatriciana spaghetti while it was hot and fresh off the stove. Whatever it was, you found yourself resolving to stay, despite all the reasons not to, despite the sound of them loud and clear in your head, ready at your disposal. Allowing yourself to indulge in nostalgia once in a while couldn’t be that bad for you. Right? 

So you stayed. And you ate (his spicy amatriciana scored a landslide victory over your mushroom ravioli). And you talked. As two friends would do, catching each other up on the things that had shaped your lives since you had gone on your separate ways. 

Conversation was clunky at first, that was to be expected. Even the closest of friendships would encounter some choppy waters when reconnecting for the first time after five years. But conversation with Jaehyun gave way to smooth sailing much quicker than you would have expected. He still wore the face of the boy who would sneak an extra serving of fried sweet potato from the cafeteria because he knew you liked them, but he wasn’t quite the same. Older, certainly. Maturity wasn’t something that went hand-in-hand with age like you had thought when you were younger, but he was more mature too. Surer of himself, and his place in the world.

You heard of the summer he spent in the UK after graduation, visiting his uncle and their family, appreciating classical architecture and the leisure inherent to rolling green hills that he hadn’t been able to find in the metropolis he had grown up in. (The food, however, was an entirely different story. He had never been so overjoyed to see a bowl of rice that wasn’t covered in mushy peas or sitting in a puddle of questionable-looking curry.)

He learned of your semester exchange in Amsterdam, including the unfortunate incident involving you, a runaway bicycle, and the freezing water of the Dutch canals. Fortunately, a nasty cold and two weeks in bed over the Christmas break were the worst things that came of it. Those few months had been eye-opening, to say the least. Stepping outside of your own bubble had made you realise how much more there was to the world, and how little you knew of it.

Yes, Jaehyun had changed, but then again so had you. The realisation dawned halfway through dessert, slowly settling over you as you spooned at the tiramisu in the centre of the table. Perhaps it hadn’t been fair to him that you had been harbouring this seed of antagonism towards him for all these years. He, so afflicted by youth, as you both had been back then, was only doing what he thought was right and necessary. Could you really fault him for that? You had seen enough of life now to know that sometimes, nobody was to blame.

There was a comfortable lull in the conversation before he spoke again. The sound of his voice drew you away from the window, where you could see that the rain had slowed from the earlier dramatic downpour to a lighter shower. 

“I know I probably wasn’t who you were expecting today,” he said, a little hesitant and gauging your expression.

“You definitely were not.” You gave him an amused half-smile over the rim of your barely-filled glass, which he returned. The bottle of merlot sat tall and empty on the table.

“I just wanted to say,” he began, taking in a breath, “I’m glad it was you. It was really nice to see you again. And I’m sorry if you were disappointed that it was me.” 

There was something sad in the curve of his mouth, you thought. It tempered the warmth in his eyes.

“I’m not disappointed,” you heard yourself say. “Really.”

It was the truth. You knew he could see it written across your face. Dishonesty and insincere flattery were not familiar weapons you wielded. He knew that. He knew you.

Jaehyun sat back, bringing his own glass to his lips and draining the lingering contents. Perhaps to hide the private smile that broke out across his handsome face, which you pretended not to see, turning your attention back to the raindrops pattering against the window. 

The evening air was cool on your bare arms when you stepped out, taking shelter under the awning in front of the restaurant. You weren’t the only one who had forgone a weather app consultation today. Jaehyun stood beside you, hands tucked neatly in the pockets of his slacks, a not unwelcome companion while you waited for your taxi to arrive. He’d call one later, after he made sure you had gotten in the car and were on the way home.

“I guess I’ll see you around?” he asked, tone light. 

You cast a sidelong glance at him. His profile was backlit by the warm light emanating from inside the restaurant, carving out the straight bridge of his nose, a soft shadow cupping the fullness of his bottom lip. Would there ever be a time the sight of him wouldn’t take your breath away?

“Maybe,” you breathed. Letting him back into your life wasn’t a decision you felt ready to make yet, and you had no intention of promising him anything you couldn’t be sure you’d be able to deliver. Even if you would only be promising him friendship.

He didn’t push it further and hummed in understanding. Then your taxi was pulling up in front of the restaurant, the splash from the tyres just missing the hem of your trousers, and you were bidding him goodbye, staring a second too long at the dimples that appeared, and trying not to step in a pothole puddle as you clambered rather ungracefully into the car. 

But because realisation was never punctual, it was only when you arrived home, carefully kicking off the black pumps and patting them dry with a microfibre cloth, that you realised two things. 

First, you had left your cardigan at the Italian restaurant.

And second, Jaehyun had footed the whole bill.

There was a reason the seventh floor was your favourite floor in the building.

It wasn’t because of the little in-office cafe with the cute but ridiculously overpriced pastries that tasted even better than they looked, or the deceptively comfortable bean bag chairs by the far window that would always tempt you with a mid-afternoon nap every time you sank into one of them.

No. The seventh floor was your favourite because it had a Nespresso machine. Free use. Company-funded.

A seventh floor coffee was one of the only things that could get you to leave the comfort of your desk and willingly walk up two flights of stairs. (The elevators always took too long.) On Monday afternoons like these, after an entire morning swimming through attendance and sick leave reports from the last quarter, the promise of a smooth and velvety cappuccino felt like your only hope for humanity. Unfortunately for you, it seemed like everybody else had the same idea, if the line in front of the coffee machine was anything to judge by. 

“You should have told me!”

You gave Joy an incredulous look. “Right. Because I definitely knew exactly who he was.”

“Well, you could have worked it out. You’re a smart girl.”

“You said a total of three sentences about him.”

She paused, fixing you with a contemplative stare. Her eyebrows were doing that weird lifting thing when she was running something through her head. “Five sentences,” she finally managed, tapping around the rim of her empty mug. 

Why she came up with you at all when she wasn’t a coffee person, would probably take two sips of the espresso, and then complain it was too bitter, was beyond you. Sometimes you wondered if she was really that good at her job, or if her workload was just so non-existent that she could take five coffee breaks a day. It couldn’t be the latter, because you had seen that her calendar was full for the entire morning.

“Let’s not spend the next fifteen minutes talking about last Friday,” you sighed, already pushing thoughts of dimpled smiles and warm eyes to the far corner of your mind. Hopefully not to be revisited for a while. “I want my head outrageously blank while I enjoy this cappuccino. Swear to god Junmyeon is trying to drown me with those leave reports.”

“You know he only assigns them to you because you’ve never told him you hate doing it.”

“He assigns them to me because I’m the only one available who can get it done properly. You’re always blocked out, and Jungwoo has that weekly coaching session. Jisung tried to help me do it this morning, and he didn’t even separate paid from unpaid leave. The numbers looked like we were bleeding PTO.”

She gave you a sly smile. “You know you can block yourself out too,” she said off-handedly. 

“You can what?”

This was new information.

“You’re telling me someone else could be sifting through that 70-page file if I just schedule in a random meeting with myself?” you asked again, to which she nodded.

“Has yet to fail me. But make sure you name it something that makes sense, and don’t do it all the time, otherwise it’ll look suspicious.”

Corporate bullshitting was a fine art, and you were beginning to realise you were still but a novice at it. 

“And lay off the intern,” she added. “He’s just a child.” “He’s taller than Junmyeon.”

“A child in spirit, then. You know what I mean. He sort of reminds me of a cute little mouse,” she mused, trailing off. If her apartment complex didn’t have a pet ban, you had a feeling she would be taking in every stray animal off the street.

However, she was right. Jisung had been a bigger help than you had expected of a second-year commerce student. Even if it was just skimming through a finished presentation pack to fix up any typos and align text boxes, you couldn’t deny that having an extra pair of eyes and hands had made your life a little bit easier. Maybe you would even miss him once his summer placement came to an end and the semester rolled back around. As long as there weren’t too many more incidents like the one from this morning.

Speaking of this morning…

“Hey, does that mean you’ve been making yourself unavailable so you don’t have to read the—”

“Oh look! The line’s getting shorter. You should move up before someone cuts in.”

You shuffled forward, but not without throwing her a displeased look along with a grumble or two. Next time the quarterly attendance analysis rolled around, you were definitely making use of the trick she had just told you about. A quick glance up ahead. There were now three people in front of you in the line, but only one green capsule left on the rack. 

Please, caffeine gods be willing, let that last one be yours.  

“I can’t believe I told you that I thought your ex-boyfriend was super fucking hot. I feel so icky, like I’ve betrayed you somehow,” Joy said, making a face. The dimpled smile fought its way back into your consciousness, and you suppressed the twist in your stomach that seemed to accompany every recollection of it. 

“It’s honestly fine. There’s no way you could have known.” You shrugged, partly to reassure her it wasn’t a big deal, and partly to shake off that funny feeling in the pit of your stomach.

The better part of your weekend had been spent trying to make sense of the night, after battling a merlot-induced migraine for most of Saturday morning and early afternoon. Three glasses had been a necessity to get through dinner, but it was ultimately overkill. You were no longer the girl from two years ago who took advantage of her afternoon class the next day by destroying a few soju bottles with your roommates. On a weeknight, too.

Joy gave your arm a soft squeeze. “Still, I’m sorry I put you through that. Hopefully it wasn’t completely awful?”

Completely awful, it was not. Awful at some parts? Maybe. 

Truthfully, you hadn’t been prepared to see Jaehyun again. Not to say that you had never thought about it — you definitely had, running simulations through your head about how you would run into him on the street, ignore his greeting and walk past him like he didn’t even exist. But those were the musings of a heart-broken teenager, turning to spite and cheap endeavours at revenge to cope with the loss of her first love. Last Friday did have spite rearing its ugly head, but that spite was short-lived, and only one aspect that made up the whirlwind of emotions that came with seeing him again after all those years. 

“No, it wasn’t all bad,” you were about to say, when your eye was suddenly caught by a movement up ahead. 

A slender, veiny hand reached out to grab the last green pod from the coffee rack. You watched as the thief’s fingers closed around the capsule and slotted it into the machine. He pressed the lever down — because of course, it was a man. Not only was he on the better side of the gender wage gap, but he also had to be ahead of you in the caffeine race as well.

The sound of the capsule being punctured was the final blow. 

“My coffee,” you lamented under your breath.

“Have some patience,” Joy chided. “We’re nearly there. You’re like a zombie when you don’t have your little cup of bean juice.”

You shook your head glumly. “The last Peruvian. I waited for so long. It was supposed to be mine, and he took it.” 

“Who did?”

“The guy at the front.” 

Your eyes were still glued on the hand as it wrapped around the mug filled with your favourite blend, completely unaware that it had just robbed you of the only small pocket of joy you had been looking forward to all afternoon. Peering around the two people still ahead, your gaze travelled up his exposed forearm and the sleeve of the white dress shirt cuffed there. If only you could catch a glimpse of the face that had stomped all over your hopes and dreams… 

The lady in front of you shuffled closer to the coffee machine and finally cleared your line of sight. Coffee stealer’s ear came into view before his face did, and he was—

“Jaehyun?”

His name fell out of Joy’s mouth before you could even get your own to start working again and beg her not to call out to him. For a moment you were afraid you had conjured him out of thin air from the uninvited thoughts of him circling the outskirts of your mind. At least now you knew he wasn’t a hallucination.

Jaehyun’s eyebrows pinched in confusion first, then surprise, before finally smoothing over with recognition. He offered a small wave, eyes flitting from Joy over to you, and then he was walking over, and you were fighting for your life trying to mask the panic that was bubbling away inside your chest.

You shot Joy a frantic look. Why did you do that?

I don’t know! Sorry, said her returning one. The corners of her mouth were turned down in an apologetic frown, but she quickly schooled it into a smile at Jaehyun’s approach.

“I’ve never seen you on seven before,” Joy said, the spitting image of friendliness, nevermind that you were beside her and desperately looking for an exit out of the incoming conversation. “You’re always holed up somewhere on ten.”

You supposed you should have known this would happen sooner or later. Six months without running into each other when you worked at the same company, in the same building, was the exception, not the rule. You were just grateful Joy didn’t try to bring up her clever little dinner setup that had been plaguing you the entire weekend, or try and rope the two of you into awkward and unnecessary introductions.

“Someone told me I should come down and try the Nespresso machine. Apparently it’s really good,” he said, gesturing at the mug you had been staring at for the past three minutes.

“It is,” were the first two words you managed. Both pairs of eyes shifted towards you, waiting for the rest of your comment to come, but you could only disappoint, the syllables hanging thick and dumb in the air. 

There appeared to be some sort of blockage in your mouth-to-brain pipeline.

Joy cleared her throat lightly, throwing you a sideways glance. “Which one did you try? They all taste the same to me, but she only drinks the green ones,” she said, ignoring the panicked twitch of your mouth. She knew full well that he was the one you’d been staring daggers into ever since he grabbed that stupid capsule. Your stupid capsule.

Jaehyun’s eyes flicked between your face and the steaming drink in his hand a few times.

“Do you want mine? I think I might have taken the last green one.” He offered the mug to you. “I didn’t really know what to press, so it’s just a cappuccino. Regular milk. I haven’t had any yet.”

“It’s fine, you should have yours. I’ll get another one,” you politely declined. No matter how much you liked the Peruvian blend, it was not worth the charity from your ex-boyfriend. Even if it was the only thing that could get you through the rest of the afternoon. Even if he was holding the exact thing that you had been planning on getting. 

Hopefully the kitchen staff would restock those capsules by tomorrow.

The look he gave you was not a convinced one, but he didn’t push further. With your dismissal of his offer, the three of you lapsed into a sticky silence. Even Joy, who was so adept at making topics of conversation out of nothing, had little to add, passing up the challenge of pulling meaningful sentences out of your mouth. The stifling tension between you and Jaehyun must have been more powerful than you thought. 

“Shoot, I think I’m getting a Teams call,” Joy suddenly said, making a show of pulling her phone out and tapping the screen. 

Liar. She didn’t even have the app notifications turned on. 

“I should probably take this, but I’ll see the both of you later.” She flashed a contrite smile, and then she was off, almost speed-walking her way down the stairs you had come up together, all the while pressing her phone to her ear with a little too much urgency for a mid-afternoon cold call. By the look on Jaehyun’s face, he hadn’t been all that impressed by her impromptu theatrics either.

“Are you still in the line?”

“Sorry, yes,” you muttered at the woman behind you. Clearly, you were not the only one impatient for their caffeine fix. 

Finally, you were at the counter. You stared blankly at the rack of capsules. The empty space where the green ones were usually stored was glaringly obvious, jumping out at you while you skimmed through the other blends for a passable alternative. After many more seconds than would have been necessary to pick one flavour out of the remaining three, your fingers closed around a gold one. It would have to do for today. 

Jaehyun watched as you dropped the capsule into its slot and made your selections. Why he was still here with you was somewhat of a mystery. You would’ve thought that Joy’s hasty exit would have prompted him to do the same, saving the both of you from having to make bumbling small talk about the weather, or the weekend, or whatever else that two people working at the same company, with no other relational history, could talk about to fill in the silence.

Maybe he wanted to talk about the dinner bill. The fact that he had settled it, without you even noticing, had been weighing on your mind. It was less of a money thing — though you were pretty sure the total hadn’t been a modest number — than a pride thing. Being indebted to others always left a smear on your conscience. 

Being indebted to your ex-boyfriend was like someone had shit all over it.

Whatever. If he didn’t bring it up first, you would. This was the 21st century. You were both financially independent adults. Splitting the bill on a first date didn’t have to be such a contentious thing. 

Although technically, it was far from your first. And it wasn’t a date either, because you had refused to label it as such in your head.

The last few drops of milk and espresso trickled into the mug, before the machine stopped whirring altogether. You knew he was still there. You could feel his presence behind you. He had probably been waiting for the noise to stop so that you’d be able to hear him speak. Taking your mug off the stand, you turned to face him. 

“Your cardigan,” he said.

“Huh?”

Confusion splashed over you. You weren’t even wearing one today.

“I have your cardigan,” he amended. “From Friday. You left it inside the restaurant. One of the waiters brought it out, but you had left already, so I took it with me.” He scratched the back of his neck. “I have it now, if you want it back.”

“You do?” 

“I mean, it’s at my desk. I brought it in today,” he added quickly, seeing the way you were looking about his person like you were expecting it to materialise into his hands.

You blinked a few times, trying to clear the brain fog that had decided now was the perfect time to strike. “Yes, I—thank you, um, for that. I can take it off you…?” 

Had you meant to have it sound so much like a question? It seemed like your capacity for human speech was always afflicted by some sort of malfunction in his presence.

“Okay, uh, do you want to come up to my desk? I’ve got it there.”

The elevator ride up to the tenth floor was a short one. You could have taken the stairs just to get the extra steps in, but with both of you holding uncovered drinks, three flights of stairs combined with your clumsy fingers were a slip hazard just waiting to happen. Still, despite the short journey, the seconds inside the elevator seemed to drag on for much longer.

Before you could lose your nerve, you opened your mouth to crack the silence. 

“Let me pay you back for dinner.” 

Good. It sounded good. Firm, but not overbearing. Hell yeah, you were getting the hang of this conversation-with-your-ex-boyfriend thing. 

Jaehyun seemed a bit taken aback by that, turning to you slightly with surprise woven into the crease of his brow. “You really don’t need to do that,” he said after a beat.

The elevator dinged, and he stepped out through the sliding doors before you could form a coherent response. It took a second for you to follow, the coffee inside your mug almost making a dangerous appearance all over the elevator floor as you caught up with his strides. 

“Think of it as me taking care of a junior colleague. I am your senior, you know,” he said over his shoulder, a smile gracing his features at the latter part.

“Only by half a year,” you grumbled. “That doesn’t even count.” The light shake of his broad shoulders let you know he had heard your gripes over his attempts at enforcing seniority. His accompanying laugh was a soft one. You barely caught it above the noise of the tenth floor office.

The mellowed cosiness of the fifth floor HR department was hard to be found here. You were used to some chatter, with the occasional high-pitched laugh from Joy punctuating the air. On days he was feeling particularly jovial, Junmyeon could be heard humming from whichever desk he had decided to park at for the day (such was the beauty of hot-desking and hotelling). The few occasions you shared a table with him had allowed you to recognise the melody of The Beatles’ Strawberry Fields Forever — always the same song, and he hummed everything except for the words ‘strawberry fields’, which he insisted on singing, albeit softly.

Nothing about Digital was soft or cosy. Except maybe the sofa in one of the open creative spaces. The floor buzzed with activity, from the influx of incoming call ringtones to agenda-packed meetings in conference rooms. A group of people were clustered around a floor-to-ceiling whiteboard covered in diagrams that were undecipherable to you, engaged in animated conversation while pointing at various parts of the board. Some of them greeted Jaehyun as he walked past with you in tow.

“I had no idea Digital was this busy,” you mused out loud, following him as he weaved through the desks.

He chuckled lightly. “We like to talk a lot. And some of us can get a bit loud,” he said. The joking undercurrent to his voice had you thinking that the second part was said with someone in mind. “But it’s more hectic than usual. We’ve just won a really big bid and Johnny’s excited about his first time leading one of the streams.” He paused to wave and give a thumbs-up at the man standing at the very front of the whiteboard group (you assumed this was Johnny), who returned the greetings with just as much enthusiasm. 

Jaehyun had always been a people person. That was one thing that would likely never change.

The two of you arrived at his desk, a quieter one next to the windows offering an almost unobstructed view of the city. He dug around his workspace, pulling out a Jo Malone gift bag. 

“Ignore the bag,” he said, catching your wary expression. “I didn’t want to stuff it in my duffel with the rest of my gym stuff.” 

You took it from his outstretched hand, with a quick glance to check that it was in fact your cardigan. The ribbed black fabric sat inside, folded neatly over itself. 

“It got rained on quite a bit, so I washed it. I hope that’s okay.”

“Of course, that’s kind of you, Jaehyun. You didn’t have to.” For a moment, you wondered if he still used the same pine-scented laundry detergent. The smell of it used to cling to his school uniform, a burst of freshness you always sought during the muggy summer days.

“Thank you,” you said, giving him a grateful smile. “I thought I lost it for good.” In your mind, you had already made peace with the fact that you would probably see the thing ever again. Yet all weekend, it had been taking up space in Jaehyun’s hamper, uncertain as to when it would finally be able to reunite with your closet.

You gave him a careful look. 

“Did you plan on seeing me today?” you asked. 

“No. Yes. I mean—” The tips of his ears took on the faintest hint of a pink flush. “I didn’t know if I would run into you, so I’m glad I did. But otherwise, I was just going to give it to Joy and get her to pass it along to you,” he trailed off, gaze shifting sideways to the cityscape posted on the other side of the glass windows. 

Neither of you had bothered with exchanging contact details after dinner, an oversight that was more deliberate than not on your part. His re-entry into your life was something you hadn’t felt quite ready for. And yet—

“Do you want my number?”

Stupid mouth. The words were out before you even registered that you had spoken. You prayed he wouldn’t pick up on the unintended suggestion of the question, though judging by the quick raise of his left eyebrow, you weren’t the only one who realised the other possible interpretations of your words. 

“I mean, just in case something like this happens again. So you can contact me directly,” you added quickly. Heat slowly crept its way up to your cheeks. You hoped he wouldn’t notice.

“Sure,” he said, lips curling into a smile. “If that’s okay with you.” 

Considering you were the one who had said it out loud in the first place, it would have been strange if you suddenly decided it was not okay with you.

There was some fumbling with each other’s phones, before you were typing your number to add into his contacts, and he was doing the same to yours. Would he realise yours was still the same string of digits as it had been five years ago?

“Well, I’d better get going,” you said, handing back his phone. Now was as good a time to make an easy exit as any. You had planned on gossiping with Joy in the level seven kitchen for the rest of the hour, but back to your desk appeared to be the more likely destination this afternoon. 70-page files didn’t read themselves. “Thanks for the cardigan. I’ll see you later, then?”

Jaehyun looked like he had more to say, but you were already turning around, ready to leave the hubbub of the tenth floor. Ready to leave the presence of your ex-boyfriend-turned-friend? Acquaintance? You shook your head lightly. A drink was needed to unpack that box of worms.

A call of your name had you pausing mid-step.

“Your coffee,” Jaehyun said, tapping you on the shoulder to hand you your mug. 

“Thanks,” you mumbled, taking it from his grasp. You hadn’t even bothered to take a sip of the non-Peruvian cappuccino, the surface still untouched. It was probably cold now. Maybe you’d pass it off to Jungwoo, this time sans the salt.

“You know, if the dinner bill thing bothers you that much, you can just make it up to me later.”

You blinked at him a few times. “Make it up to you how?”

“Ah, that’s for me to decide,” he replied, a boyish glint to his smiling eyes. Both his dimples popped out, and you found yourself unable to choose which one to focus on. 

Then he was moving, and you were left staring at the broad expanse of his back as he walked away. Head full of thoughts wondering what the hell kind of favour he would now hold over your head, you almost walked straight into Jungwoo as you came out of the elevator.

“Hey, I got a Nespresso from seven. You want it?” you asked, offering him the coffee you stopped yourself from spilling all over him. He eyed the mug apprehensively.

“You put salt in it again, didn’t you?”

“No? Where did you even get that from? Hang on, how do you know it was me?”

Jungwoo sucked in a breath through his teeth. “So it was you! I knew it! You know, you really are a scary woman,” he grumbled. “Who ever would have thought an evil spirit lurked behind such a kind face?”

“So that’s a no to the coffee?”

“I don’t trust you anymore, so no.”

“Suit yourself,” you shrugged, making your way back to your desk. The attendance reports stared back at you as you logged into the monitor, drawing a sigh out of you. You took a sip of the coffee.

And frowned.

You brought the mug to your mouth again. Like the first sip, the second was also lukewarm. But like the first sip, the second also tasted exactly the same as your usual Peruvian blend. Maybe there really was no difference between all the different coloured capsules, you thought, skimming through page 33 of the file.

That thing about realisation never being on time? Still true.

On the subway ride home, gripping the handle with all your might while sandwiched between two middle-aged men in stuffy suits, it dawned on you.

Jaehyun had given you his coffee instead.

“Thanks everyone for dialling in today. We’ll chat soon.”

The screen reverted back to its default background as the call ended, and you let out a sound somewhere in between a groan and a whimper. Junmyeon did not look to be faring any better, head in his hands while his elbows rested on the meeting room table.

“Can somebody please tell Jackson and the rest of the Marketing heads that Summer Fridays doesn’t mean they can just take Fridays completely off?” he groaned, the sounds escaping through the gaps in his fingers. “Our absenteeism looks like it’s at an all time high. Nayeon, you’re friendly with him, aren’t you?”

The girl pressed at her temples. “I mean, we were in the same advertising and PR club back in university, if that counts for anything. But yeah, I’ll schedule some time with him and go over it.”

“Great, thank you,” Junmyeon sighed, throwing his head back. “Alright, I’ll send around a debrief email later this afternoon. Thanks everyone for your time.”

You didn’t have to be told twice. A second later and you were out of the eighth floor Marketing meeting room, already on your way to the Nespresso machine downstairs. Another coffee at 4pm was slightly pushing it, but you needed a pick-me-up urgently to wash away the gruelling two hours spent going through company policy with Marketing.

The buzz of your phone was a momentary distraction from your mission. 

It was a message from Jaehyun. Something silly in response to a text you had sent earlier in the day. 

jaehyun [04:07 pm]: in dire need of a fake mango right now jaehyun [04:07 pm]: mmm fake mango milkshake

The smile that crept up onto your face was almost like a reflex in the way it couldn’t be helped.

Now that you were acquainted again, it was like you saw him everywhere. How you had managed to completely avoid each other for the last half a year or so was a fascinating mystery. Some mornings you’d run into him in the building lobby. He’d hold the elevator doors open for you, and you’d exchange pleasantries on the ride up to the fifth floor, where you’d get off and bid him goodbye, or see you later. And see him later you did. Whether it was at the seventh floor coffee machine, or in line at the cafeteria on twelve, the sight of his face had become a nice interruption to the hours spent at a monitor, or in a call like the one you had just escaped.

He would come down to the fifth floor sometimes, stopping by Joy’s desk or yours to say hello and have a chat if you weren’t busy. You found yourself wishing he would spend less time with Joy than he did with you — not because you wanted to see him more (because that was absolutely not the reason at all), but because he was steadily gaining a lead over you in the Joy friendship competition. The three of you had spent a few lunch breaks at the cafeteria together, granted that your schedules matched, with an odd appearance from Jungwoo every now and again.

You saw more of Johnny (loud) and Mark (louder), Jaehyun’s friends from Digital who you’d normally hear before you’d see them. Johnny was his “beloved coffee mate” (Jaehyun’s exact words) and possibly the only other person in the building who cared about the green Peruvian capsules as much as you did. Mark was… Mark, for lack of a better description. There was nobody the boy couldn’t strike a conversation with. If he really needed to, you suspected he could probably get along with a wet paper towel. 

You had been offered an invitation to join the three of them for one of their weekly lunches outside the company building. Johnny was more than happy to let you know he was somewhat of an expert at finding the hottest eats in the area, having put half his floor onto the cold noodle place he had sought out at the start of the month. And laugh as you had when he proudly told you about it, Johnny’s influence was no joke. News of the restaurant had somehow trickled its way down to HR, with Junmyeon just the other day asking around the team if anyone had tried the place before. 

Perhaps you’d join them next week. It was always nice to be ahead of the trend. 

You arrived at the seventh floor kitchen and sighed. The rack was out of green capsules again. Although, maybe that was to be expected. It was nearing the end of the day, and the gold capsules were finished too. So much for a 4pm pick-me-up, you thought, though it might have been for the better — too much caffeine in one day always made you a bit antsy and had your resting heart rate up in the high 80s. 

With empty hands and a pout on your lips, you made your way back to the fifth floor. 

Joy’s eyes were glued to her screen when you walked past her. “Jaehyun stopped by while you were in that Marketing call,” she said without looking at you, squinting at a spreadsheet. 

“Did he?” you replied, trying your best at nonchalance despite the little flip of your stomach. 

“Are you talking about her handsome friend from Digital?” Jungwoo peered around the table with a playful grin on his face. 

You were back on good terms now, thanks to your promise to pay for his lunch from the cafeteria for a whole week to make up for the coffee incident. The look in his eyes right now had you thinking life was better that week where he had been afraid of you.

“Yeah, that’s the one,” Joy said distractedly in between clicks of her keyboard. “Jisung, can you just double check these numbers for me? I’m in the second tab of the Excel file.” 

The intern was quick to comply. You had a feeling she was his favourite senior. 

“Anyways, I think he left you something.”

You made your way over to your desk, ignoring Jungwoo’s oohs and ahs. Sure enough, there was something sitting next to your diary and the three empty glasses you hadn’t had the chance to rinse out yet.

It was a coffee capsule. Specifically, it was a green coffee capsule. 

There was a sticky note stuck to the back of it, which you turned around to read. His handwriting was still identical to that of the silly little notes he used to leave in the margins of your home economics workbook. 

saved this last one from johnny’s clutches. enjoy ^.^

Despite the jitters from the end-of-day caffeine fix, you smiled the whole way home.

“I’ve found a way you can make it up to me.”

You pulled the phone away from your ear to check the screen. 9:34 am. The Saturday morning still had you in its clutches, and it took a few seconds to process the sounds you were hearing. 

“Who is this?” you croaked, sleep lacing your voice. 

“It’s Jaehyun.” 

You sat up a little straighter against the pillows. “Jaehyun?” you echoed. 

“Yes, it’s me. Do you not check the caller ID before you answer?”

You grumbled something about it being too early on the weekend to have your head screwed on properly, to which he laughed, a vivid sound even through the phone. 

“Do you have plans later today?”

You hesitated. Technically, no, unless a hot date with Netflix and whatever leftover snacks you could find in your pantry counted as plans. You were due for a grocery trip soon. The three eggs and single sprig of spring onion in your fridge would not last for long. Cooking had never been something you enjoyed, especially not after a full work day, and yet living alone required so much of it. You didn’t want to make up a non-existent dinner reservation, partly because you knew he’d be able to tell the untruth just by listening to your voice, and partly because something unpleasant niggled at your insides at the thought of lying just to avoid him.  

“Why, what’s up?” you asked instead.

“Well, you know that jazz festival?” You gave an affirmative hum. “I have tickets for today. Mark and I were supposed to go together, but he just called me saying he can’t make it. Something about a leak in his apartment from all the rain. So…”

You stifled a yawn. “So?” Your brain was still trying to catch up with the land of the awake and living. 

“Come with me?”

The words took a while and a few blinks to register. When they did, your first instinct was to say no. Jaehyun was fine in small doses. A quick chat over coffee, sporadic texts throughout the day, conversation within the safety of a group setting — these were all fine. Manageable. Nice, even. But Jaehyun in the flesh, outside of the office, with nobody else around to buffer the strange sort of tension that seemed to always thrum between the two of you — that was an entirely different ball game altogether. Sometimes, a mere run-in was enough to have your heart going a little faster than usual, nerves lighting up at the unexpected sight of his face. 

“I am not above begging. Please don’t make me go to this thing by myself.”

And yet, there was a flicker of something pleasant and sweet, something akin to excitement that curbed the nervous flutter in your gut. You were fifteen again, waiting outside the movie theatre, a little too giddy at the thought of spending time with the boy whose sweet smile had become the cause of your stomach somersaults. And that was before you had even admitted to yourself that you liked him, as more than a friend. 

“What time is it?” you found yourself asking.

So maybe you were seriously considering it. You had been meaning to put that new film camera to use. The thing had been collecting dust in one of your drawers ever since you bought it on a whim one night scrolling through Pinterest. Somehow, the rows of tables and monitors in the office didn’t seem like the most interesting camera subjects compared to the scenes of concerts and beach bonfires that had driven your impulsive purchase. 

“Well, the doors open at 11, but the first performer is at 12. And Lauv’s set isn’t until later in the evening.”

“Lauv is performing?” Your voice had gone up almost an octave, but you couldn’t care enough to be embarrassed. This was a crucial piece of information. Now you had to be there. 

He laughed. “So is that a yes?”

“Yes. Yes, it’s a yes.” The covers were flipped off your legs in an instant.

It wasn’t that Jaehyun looked bad in slacks and a dress shirt. That was not the case at all. But you had grown used to them on him over the last few weeks, and the sight of his long legs in a pair of well-fitting trousers no longer caused a spike in your heart rate. 

Jaehyun in casual clothes outside the office was uncharted territory. 

The midday sun was strong outside the subway station. Clad in a black graphic tee over a pair of baggy green cargos, Jaehyun stood idly at the entrance, face hidden by the brown baseball cap on his head and eyes trained on his phone. How someone could look so gorgeous in something so ordinary was a secret only he knew the truth of. He caught sight of you from across the road, waiting for the pedestrian light, and raised his hand in a wave. 

“It’s different seeing you out of your work clothes,” he said. 

“Different good or different bad?”

A soft smile grazed his lips. “Just different. You look younger.”

“So do you,” you replied. 

You look like the boy I was in love with all those years ago. 

“Did you taxi?”

“No, I took the bus. There’s one that goes straight from my building. I didn’t know you lived around here,” you mused to yourself.

“My place is really close.” He pointed somewhere behind him. “Five minutes that way, tops. You should come over sometime.”

A slight pause. Jaehyun’s eyes flitted down to the pavement. You weren’t sure if the heat in your cheeks was from the sun or something else entirely. 

“Anyway,” he cleared his throat, “we should probably go. It takes 40 minutes to get there, so if we leave now we should be able to catch the 1pm.”

The subway on the weekend was nowhere near as awful as it usually was during the weekday rush hours, but packed nonetheless. You definitely preferred being stuck in a carriage full of bright-eyed and chattering teenagers than the usual crowd of solemn-faced office workers. When a seat finally freed up, Jaehyun was quick to offer it to you, manoeuvring himself so that he could stand in front of you as you sat down. Toe to toe, the tips of his shoes grazed yours, and you were suddenly reminded of study periods at the library. The two of you could never agree on who first started the game of footsie under the desk.

“See those girls over there?” you asked quietly, nodding towards a group of likely high schoolers down the other end of the carriage. Jaehyun turned his head to follow your gaze, catching sight of the girls who immediately erupted in whispers and giggles upon making eye contact with him. “They’ve been staring at you for the last two stops.”

He was quick to turn back towards you, nose scrunching and slightly embarrassed. “Kids these days are so weird,” he said with a soft groan. “Why are they doing that?”

“You know they’re only staring because you’re handsome.” 

Despite the pinkness of his ears, he was smiling wide. “You think I’m handsome?”

You blinked up at him. “I didn’t say that.” Did I? “I meant they probably think you’re handsome. Which is why they’re staring. You know. It’s nice to look at good-looking people.” 

The rushed explanations did nothing to shake the feeling that you had slipped-up somehow, and he had caught it. Jaehyun’s dimples only deepened at your backtracking.

“You know what I mean,” you finally huffed, biting back a smile at the deep sound of his responding laugh. “Whatever. I think this is our stop.”

The festival couldn’t have picked a better day to be held. The skies were clear and blue, and the air carried a light breeze that provided a welcome relief from the heavy stickiness of midsummer. It was a nice change from the sporadic rainstorms that had plagued the city over the last two weeks or so. Mark’s leaking apartment was proof of the temperamental weather. If you had one bone to pick, the sun was a tad strong, but that was to be expected. You had come prepared, tugging the bucket hat down further to cover your face. 

Alaina Castillo’s set was well underway by the time you and Jaehyun made your way into the venue grounds. A decent amount of people had already arrived, trickling in to fill up the gated area in front of the main stage. The two of you filed in with the rest, finding a place towards the back of the growing crowd where there was ample room to breathe without inhaling someone else’s breath. 

You had never been one for being stuck in a swarm of people. A harsh reminder of why that was the case appeared when, out of nowhere, a stranger’s elbow dug into your arm, knocking you sideways in their determined path towards the barricade. 

The steadying hand around your shoulder was instantaneous. 

“Are you okay?” Jaehyun asked, and you mumbled something affirmative in reply, trying not to dwell too much on the warmth of his skin on your bare arm. His eyes followed the stranger who was still pushing on through the crowd in front. “People really need to watch where they’re going,” he muttered, brows drawn together in a frown.

The rest of the afternoon proceeded more smoothly. It was a little unsettling how normal and nice everything felt. Jaehyun kept close to you for the sets that followed, the distance between the two of you gradually shrinking as the crowd grew in size. The occasional brush of your forearms as you moved to the music was no longer something to jump at like you had the first time it had happened. You managed to snap a few pictures on your almost-new film camera, mostly of the artist performing, but there was one of you in there somewhere amidst the stage shots, taken by an insistent and smiley Jaehyun during one of the set breaks. 

“So this is why you wanted someone to come with you,” you said, sliding onto the bench and passing him one of the burgers from the food truck.

“It’s so much more efficient when you can line up for two things at once. If I was by myself, I’d either wait for the beer and let my burger get soggy, or wait for the burger and let my beer get warm and flat. This way the food is fresh, and our drinks are ice cold out of the fridge.”

You cracked a smile. “And here I thought you called me because you enjoyed my company.”

“I do enjoy your company,” he said without missing a beat. “The other stuff is just an added plus.”

You took a sip of the cold beer, hoping it would stave off the quick flush of your cheeks. Jaehyun said things so easily. Too easily. It was harder and harder to adhere to that invisible boundary you had been so adamant on protecting. 

Why were you so reluctant to let him back in? Why all the walls? He made it too easy for thoughts like that to creep in and loiter in the back of your mind. 

Evening had begun to settle, the brightness of the midday sky fading away to a twinkling twilight blue over your heads. The music was quieter at the picnic tables by the tents, where festival-goers sought respite from the main stage crowds with a cold beverage and something greasy. Between mouthfuls of an early makeshift dinner, you and Jaehyun sat in your own bubble, comfortably falling into conversation about the performances throughout the day, or whatever else happened to be on your minds.  

“Your mouth opens so wide,” you said, watching as he all but inhaled half the burger in one go. His nose scrunched up as he tried to take the massive bite, and the sight of it was such a far cry from his usual cool guy image that you couldn’t pass up the opportunity to snap a picture of it. The click of the shutter had him looking up at you mid-chew with a dismayed expression.

“That’s not fair. You attacked when I wasn’t ready!”

“I’d hardly call that an attack,” you said, not without a smile. “I was just getting a candid.”

He wiped his fingers on the napkin. “Okay, my turn then,” he said, gesturing for you to hand the camera over. You obliged, letting him point the lens at you and fiddle with the knobs along the top. His slender fingers navigated the controls with a practised ease.

“Relax,” he added softly, noticing your fidgeting. Twenty-something years, and you had made little progress in mastering the art of posing for photos. “Pretend the camera’s not here, and it’s just you and me.”

Right. Like that was supposed to make you loosen up.

“I actually used to be really into photography. Got pretty good at it too,” he said.

“Really? I don’t remember that.”

“Picked it up in uni,” he explained. “Had all this free time on my hands and didn’t know what to do with it. Besides drinking.” A pause. “Honestly, first year second semester was pretty rough after… you know.”

The last part caught you somewhat off-guard. After that fateful April night, you had always assumed Jaehyun was off living his best life, blowing through society events with the new friends he had made, maybe even letting a few of them warm his bed now that you weren’t around. It wouldn’t have been the biggest surprise. Even at nineteen, Jaehyun’s good looks were uncontested. His sweet and attentive personality was the cherry on top of an already delectable cake. Whatever he got up to when the sun set, you were none the wiser, having completely wiped his existence from your phone by the time your first semester exam period rolled around. 

Though you didn’t go as far as to block his number, he never reached out, and so Jeong Jaehyun became a relic of the past, embracing his newfound freedom now that he had shed himself of you, his unwanted baggage.

Or so you thought.

“But yeah,” he continued, “I started getting into photography. Burnt a hole in my wallet trying out a bunch of different cameras,” he said with a chuckle. “I liked film the most though, I think. It’s the only one I still use now.” 

“What do you like about it?”

He took a moment, pausing in thought. “The colours, mostly. How it’s a bit muted, it has that vintage feeling.” You hummed in agreement. “Selfies on a film camera are fun as well.”

“You must really like looking at yourself,” you teased, enjoying the sight of his ears flushing with colour from where they poked out above the camera.

“Not like that,” he said in reply to the raise of your eyebrows. “It’s more like… when you take a selfie on film, you can’t see yourself, right? Whether the focus is focusing, or if the angle is right.

“Or if your whole face is actually in the shot, not just your right eye.”

“Exactly. But then taking the picture anyway. That’s what I like.” He pulled away from the camera to flash you a small smile. “Isn’t it funny, the way we try so hard to capture moments of time?”

Jaehyun’s attention returned to the viewfinder, leaving you to quietly dwell on his words. How else could one keep a piece of time stored away if not through photos? And yet, photography would never be able to capture the entirety of a moment the way a memory could. The sound of the band’s bass guitar from the side stage in the adjacent garden. The smell of summer carried by the evening breeze as it ruffled through his hair.

The warm feeling in your chest as you sat across from him at this wooden picnic bench, surrounded by people, sharing wistful conversation and a basket of fries. 

The feeling of coming home.

The shutter clicked.

“Got it. That last one is going to turn out so nice.” Jaehyun smiled triumphantly, cheeks dimpling. “If you make this your profile picture you have to add the ‘photo by’. I need my credits.”

You blinked away the precarious thoughts. “Alright, mister photographer man, give it back now. Don’t use up all my film before Lauv.”

He handed the camera back to you, looking very pleased with himself. The light from the nearby tents cast a dusky glow over his face. Jaehyun from Digital was sharp and polished. The Jaehyun before you now, with his hair dishevelled from taking off the cap earlier, was softer, more open, and more subtle in the way he had slipped under your defences and picked the locks chained around your heart. 

The question now was whether you’d let him in further than you already had.

He tugged at his collar. “God, it’s still muggy at night, isn’t it?” 

“You stay here, I’ll get us some more beers,” you said, already standing up.

If anything, you were grateful for the errand, a welcome distraction from the tumultuous battle between your heart and your head that always forged on at any thought of him. The line for the bar was no shorter than it had been half an hour ago, to nobody’s surprise (this was a festival in Seoul, of course the queues would be severe) and it was a while before the two cold plastic cups were in your hands. 

The short time away from him had given you the space to steer your mindset back onto the charted platonic course. A little voice in the back of your mind objected, and was making a damn convincing argument about why you should be more inclined to go beyond plain friendship with Jaehyun, but you chose to ignore it, suppressing the nagging with a deep breath and a smile that you hoped looked less conflicted than how you felt. Beers in hand, you carefully made your way back to the picnic table — only to be met with a rather interesting sight.

Jaehyun was still where you had left him, thankfully. But the two girls that now stood around him were a new addition. 

“Hey,” you greeted, tapping him on the shoulder to pass him one of the beers. The taller girl visibly deflated when he flashed you a grateful smile, taking the plastic cup from your hand. The shorter one, however, ran her eyes up and down your figure with an almost calculating gaze.

“Is this your friend?” the shorter one asked, question directed at Jaehyun.

“Uh, yeah, um—hi,” you answered very eloquently, introducing yourself. You tossed a glance between Jaehyun and the two girls. “Do you um—are you guys friends?”

“Well, no, not really. Minjeong and Jimin just came—”

“We were actually going to ask if you guys wanted to join us up closer to the main stage?” the shorter one (Minjeong perhaps?) asked, flashing a sweet smile you suspected was more for Jaehyun’s benefit than yours. “We have a blanket and a few chairs set up, so you can sit and watch the closing set. It’s much more comfortable than standing inside the barricade.”

“Jaehyun looked a little lonely by himself,” the taller one added.

Lonely because you left him for ten minutes to go get some cold drinks? These girls were unbelievable.

“What do you say? Want to join us?”

Maybe you should’ve taken the group of highschoolers on the subway earlier more seriously as a forewarning. Not that you had any say in what Jaehyun could and could not do — he was his own person, and the closest thing you had to a claim on him had disintegrated years ago. If he wanted to go hang out with pretty strangers, he could go and do exactly that, and you didn’t have to follow him either. The invitation had clearly been meant for him more than it had been for you.

So what if you had been looking forward to enjoying the last set together? You were a big girl. You could brave the main stage crowds by yourself if you had to.

Jaehyun glanced at you, searching your eyes while you tried your best to keep your face neutral and devoid of the uneasy thoughts bubbling away beneath your skin. He was his own person. He could make his own choices. 

After a second or two, he seemed to find what he was looking for, and turned back to the two expectant girls with a polite smile. “We’ll take our chances with the pit,” he answered. “But thank you for the offer. That’s kind of you guys.”

The two girls made their exit shortly afterwards, but not without a final look at him, and a decidedly less enthusiastic one at you. It was quiet for a few moments, the two of you sipping on your beers without a word, waiting for the other to speak.

“You could have gone with them if you wanted to,” you finally mumbled, eyes fixed on the contents of your cup.

To your surprise, Jaehyun let out a soft chuckle. “I don’t know if you noticed, but I’m pretty sure Minjeong had an engagement ring on her finger.”

“Oh, what?” 

You definitely had not noticed, too occupied by the saccharine looks she was throwing his way.

“Yeah. It was a pretty big diamond too. I think she must have forgotten to take it off today.”

You turned to look at him then. Jaehyun already had his eyes on you, sporting a lazy grin. “Come on, you can’t think I’m the type to mess around with married women?”

“That’s not what I—I didn’t know—”

“Don’t worry,” he interjected. “You’re still cute when you’re jealous.”

The quick heat rising to your face dispelled any of the remaining nonchalance in your expression. “I wasn’t—I’m not jealous,” you spluttered. “I was just worried—I mean, not worried,” you paused, sighing. “I thought you’d leave me.”

His eyes sought out yours, keeping them captive once they grabbed a hold. 

“I wouldn’t leave you.”

The teasing brevity to his voice had disappeared. Somehow, you had the feeling he wasn’t simply talking about the jazz festival. The sincerity in his gaze made it hard to look away, but you had to, in the name of self preservation. Too long staring into those brown eyes was an unnecessary test of the upper limits of your heart rate. 

“Maybe she came with her husband. He could be up there on that picnic mat, waiting for her.”

He laughed, throwing his head back. “Trust me, if her husband was here, she would not have been looking at me like that.”

To their credit though, finding a spot to watch the main stage proved to be rather difficult now that everyone had arrived to catch the final act. For a moment you considered leaving the pit to take the two girls up on their offer. But with Jaehyun by your side, you were able to navigate the crowds with a bit more peace of mind, his presence a solid and comforting anchor within the sea of people. A few rogue pushes here and there had you stumbling — and perhaps the two beers on a rather empty stomach were coming on faster than you had expected — but he was there, steadying you with a gentle hand around your arm, or the light press of his firm chest against your back.

And maybe you leaned into him for longer than necessary to regain your balance, but was that really a crime? To enjoy the touch of a friend? Was it a crime for warmth to pool in the pit of your stomach at the sight of him swaying along to Lauv’s Enemies?

No, the little voice in your head denied forcefully. Jaehyun grooving to the music had always been one of your weaknesses. 

As the closing chords of Paris in the Rain sounded out across the venue, you pulled out your film camera.

“Walking down an empty street.”

A gentle nudge of Jaehyun’s shoulder had him turning towards you, nose scrunched in a happy half-laugh from watching the performance. You moved to face the back of the crowd and raised the camera high, pointing it towards the two of you. 

Was the stage in the shot? Was Lauv? 

Were you?

“Puddles underneath our feet.”

Call it courage, or liquid courage, or just plain recklessness on your part. Rising up on your tiptoes, you pressed your cheek to his, and clicked the shutter button. 

The final chord of the song struck, softly, like an afterthought, and the crowd burst into appreciative hoots and applause, marking the end of the performance.

You were beaming as you turned back towards him. “Do you think I got that one?”

Jaehyun simply stared at you, lips parted and turned up slightly at the corners. He looked more caught off-guard than he had when you had told him you thought all the Cigarettes After Sex songs sounded the same. You felt the glowing smile on your face slip, little by little, as you let his eyes roam your features, gaze indecipherable. They flitted to your lips, and for a second you were sure you stopped breathing.

Just do it! Just fucking do it! screamed that little voice in the back of your mind.

And perhaps you would’ve done it too, whatever it was, if it weren’t for the shove from behind that sent you almost face-planting into his chest.

“What the hell?” you yelped, whipping your head around. 

What was with the people here today? You never thought jazz lovers could be so aggressive and insensitive to others’ personal space. Trying to find the perpetrator was a futile task, since the crowd had started to disperse following the end of the performance, moving in all directions.

Jaehyun looked over you with concern, the earlier expression on his face now gone. 

“Come on,” he finally said, fingers gently circling around your wrist. “Let’s get out of here before we get trampled by the crowd.”

Overhead, the blue-black sky that had been so cooperative for the whole day emitted a low rumble, as if to emphasise Jaehyun’s words. Sure enough, by the time the two of you arrived at the station, it had started to sprinkle. Perhaps the clouds had been holding back the rain until the very end of the festival. How considerate of them, you thought.

The ride back into the city felt shorter than the one to the venue, though it couldn’t have been. Saturday nights were even busier than the weekday rush hour, with people young and old out and about, ready to tame the weekend with sheer determination and a bottle of soju in the stomach. This time, there were no free seats in your carriage, but you didn’t mind. Standing with Jaehyun, your heads pressed together to go through the videos in his camera roll, made the time pass faster. There was something to his photos, you decided. Something in the angle, or the light, or the composition, that made them look nicer than the ones on your phone. Maybe you ought to take a photography course too.

The clouds may have been considerate enough for the festival to hold off dumping their contents during the day, but they certainly were not for the two of you tonight. Standing under cover at the subway station exit, you watched as the torrential deluge only seemed to worsen. Thunder cracked angrily through the air. It wasn’t July without the threat of flash flooding. 

“Any drivers around?” Jaehyun asked.

You gave a sad shake of your head. “Nobody’s picking up my request. Must be because of the rain,” you muttered. Overhead, the sky split open with a strike of lightning, startling you, and you jumped back a bit, further into the covered area of the exit.

“How about the bus?”

“I think I just missed one,” you answered, checking the timetable on your phone. “It says the next isn’t for another twenty minutes. But with the rain, it might be delayed even longer.”

You flicked through the taxi app, then the bus timetable app, and then finally back to the weather app, which you always seemed to forget to check on days like this. Three consecutive 100% signs stared back at you, and you let out a sigh. The sky would not be clearing up anytime soon.

“My apartment is only two streets down, if you want somewhere to wait out the rain,” he said.

You looked up at him. The smile on his face was guileless, but at the same time, there was something guarded about it, like he was expecting your rejection. Perhaps you had studied his face for too long, because then he was shifting his weight from one foot to the other, and averting his eyes to the ground.

“Or you don’t have to, we could just—”

“Okay,” you said.

His head shot back up. “Okay?”

You shrugged, a smile finding its way to your lips. “I’d rather not be soaking wet on the bus.”

“Okay,” he repeated, corners of his mouth turning upwards to mirror yours. “To my place, then.”

The usual five minute walk to Jaehyun’s apartment from the subway station turned into a two-and-a-half minute mad dash under the downpour. Despite your attempts at keeping to storefront shelters and ducking under the cover of big trees, the short trip had ended up with the both of you drenched to the bone, teeth chattering as you dripped rainwater all over his lobby.

You said a silent apology to the building cleaners. 

It was a relief to be dry again. Jaehyun’s sweats swamped you, the French terry fabric pooling around your feet as you sat on the couch in his living room. The top was no better, reaching almost to your knees, with the sleeves completely covering your fingertips. His clothes weren’t always this big on you. At least he still used the same pine-scented laundry detergent. 

The sound of the running shower blended smoothly with the raindrops pelting violently against the balcony window. You wrung your hands, unsure of what to do while you waited for him to come out of the bathroom. It was easy to feel out of place in a home foreign to you. The sleek furniture and minimalist colour palette of the apartment looked nothing like Jaehyun’s childhood bedroom. 

Maybe you shouldn’t have agreed to come to his place. While you were pretty sure he hadn’t invited you up with any ulterior motives in mind, there was still something ambiguous about being in your ex-boyfriend’s home and wearing his clothes. And only his clothes. 

You would have liked to keep your undergarments on, but they had also been soaked through. Going bare in these too-big sweats had seemed the less questionable option, compared to sitting with a wet patch around your butt and crotch. Heat flooded your face as you thought about your underwear and bra hanging on the heated towel rack in the bathroom. 

Whatever. It wasn’t like they were things he’d never seen before. And as for his clothes, of course you’d wash them before giving them back to him. 

It was then that you decided that you had enough of sitting around in a puddle of fabric and your own thoughts. Jaehyun’s living room wasn’t all that big, even if it felt roomier than your own, with enough space to fit a decently-sized couch and small coffee table. The tv on the far wall sat atop a rather large entertainment unit that, upon further inspection, also housed a record player and an impressive collection of vinyls. 

You padded over, eyes flicking through the various titles printed on the covers. One of them had been taken out from the shelf and sat splayed on top of the cabinet. Maybe he had meant to play it, or just forgotten to put it away. Slowly, you let a finger trace around the edge of the jacket and over the black lettering of the title. You’d recognise that white album cover anywhere.

Only you knew how much effort it had taken to source the thing, scouring auction sites and dodgy online stores until you finally bit the bullet and ordered it from a reasonable-looking seller with a 4.7 star rating. But it had all been worth it. The unadulterated joy on Jaehyun’s face as he undid the wrapping paper to reveal Frank Ocean’s Blonde was not something you could easily forget. Later, you found out that it had probably been a bootleg, since the official Blonde vinyls were a limited release, but he had hardly batted an eye when you broke the news.

“Still my favourite birthday present that anyone’s gotten me,” Jaehyun said. 

Dressed in a plain white tee and a pair of grey sweatpants, he leant against the bathroom door, surveying you with an easy smile. You must not have heard the shower turn off, the noise drowned out by the storm raging outside. His hair, still damp from the shower, hung over his eyes, and you watched as he brushed it back with his right hand, arm flexing with the movement.

The sudden flare in your lower belly was something you’d rather not feel, alone in these four walls with him, with nobody else around to witness or put a stop to whatever might follow. You’d like to think self control was something you had a firm grip on, but it seemed Jaehyun was made to put you to the test.

“Actually think it might be my favourite present ever,” he added, pushing off the door frame. He reached you in a few strides, maintaining a polite distance between your bodies.

“I didn’t even realise you still had this,” you murmured, letting him take the record from your hands. You tried not to flinch at the brush of his fingers against yours. “You didn’t even have one of these back then,” you said, lightly tapping the case of the record player.

“I changed my mind, actually. The turntable is my favourite present.”

An unfamiliar twinge of dread zipped through you. “Who gave it to you?” 

Could it be an ex-lover’s gift sitting on display in his living room? That did not sit nicely in your stomach.

“Myself.” 

He was holding back a laugh, eyes squeezed into crescent moons and too busy appreciating his own joke to catch the quick roll of your eyes. Instantly, your chest felt a little lighter, and the dread vanished as quickly as it had come on.

“Here, let me put it on,” he said, shuffling over towards you to lift up the case on the record player. With gentle fingers and a delicateness you didn’t see often, he unsleeved the record and carefully placed it on the turntable. A few fiddles with the side knobs and a precise adjustment of the needle arm later, the opening bars of Frank Ocean’s Pink and White filled the air of his living room.

For a minute, there were no words exchanged, the two of you simply content to enjoy the music as it filtered through the speakers. There was a quiet smile on Jaehyun’s face. You wondered if he, like you, was thinking of the last time you had listened to this album together.

The image of the two of you, sprawled out on his bed, sharing a pair of wired earphones, was hard to shake. It had been early evening, or nearly twilight. Sometime before sunset. The reflection on the ceiling of his childhood bedroom had changed along with the sky, until the only light left in the room was the dim blue glow from the laptop on his desk. At his mother’s call for dinner, he had gently shaken you awake, fingers light on your shoulder and against your cheek. 

Jaehyun was undoubtedly handsome in the light. But there was something about dusk and the softness of the shadows on his face that made him all the more compelling. You usually weren’t one to initiate, so the kiss you pressed to his mouth in the barely-lit room had surprised you both. 

Even now, the thought strangely sent a flood of heat to your cheeks.

“Sorry, did you want something to eat? I haven’t been a very good host.”

The grumble of your stomach answered before you could. You bit back an embarrassed smile, but Jaehyun was not so frugal with his amusement, letting out a short chuckle. Your feet followed him as he made his way to the kitchen. Perched on the marble countertop, you watched as he rummaged through the fridge.

“I have eggs, yesterday’s leftovers, and a shit ton of beer cans,” he announced. 

You exchanged a glance.

“Let’s do ramen, actually. That sounds better.” He bent down to dig through the pantry, pulling out two red packets, before moving back to the fridge and getting two eggs. “I can crack these in too, and—why are you looking at me like that?”

It was your turn to laugh, the wide grin on your face a contrast to the cautious smile on his.

“Are we having ramen?”

His brow creased a little. “I thought you liked ramen?” The innocent tilt of his head made him all the more endearing to look at.

“I do, but… did you really invite me back to your place… to have ramen?”

It took a few seconds for the ball to drop. You held back giggles as his ears flushed hotly, as they always seemed to do on the occasions you decided to indulge yourself and tease him.

“Come on, that’s not—you’re doing it on purpose,” he said, bottom lip jutting out with the suggestion of a pout. Despite his grumbles, the shape of his mouth slowly settled into a defeated smile at your visible glee of having flustered him. 

Jaehyun, soft-spoken and easy-going, was not the type to be easily ruffled. You excelled and enjoyed the challenge of it more than most.

“No,” he said once your laughter had somewhat subsided, voice low and velvety. “But I wouldn’t be opposed.”

And suddenly it wasn’t so funny anymore.

The silence that followed was a loud one. It was hard to ignore the way your mouth dried up at his words. Something warm and tingly spread from your stomach all the way down to your toes as you stood there under his level gaze, eyes drawn to his like magnets. He had to know. The effect his words had on you were surely plastered all over your face, obvious in the tight grip of your fingers against the countertop and the shortening of your breaths.

Jaehyun leaned in a little closer and you felt the inhale stick in the back of your throat. Then he cracked a crooked smile, pretty teeth all on display. 

“Don’t dish it out if you can’t take it.”

He moved away then, busying himself with pouring water into a pot and bringing it to a boil while you tried to blink yourself out of the daze. “Ramen okay?” he asked over his shoulder.

You cleared your dry throat, somehow finding your voice again. “Ramen is fine. Thank you,” you added after a beat. You took a deep breath, waiting for the rush of blood to drain from your face. 

Something sour settled in your chest — something akin to disappointment, though surely it couldn’t be. Disappointed that what? Jaehyun wasn’t actually sexually attracted to you? When you were obviously still attracted to him, despite all your attempts at convincing yourself you weren’t?

You scoffed to yourself. As if.

A quick shake of your head was almost enough to clear your mind, save for the remnants of that sour feeling that lingered. You asked if there was anything you could do to help, not wanting to simply sit around on your thumbs and wait to be fed. He had insisted you do exactly that, warning you there was only enough space in the kitchen for one, and assuring that there was nothing he needed from you besides patience and faith in his cooking. 

Patience you could give him. Faith was a little harder to muster, given your memories of the kitchen disaster from when he had tried to make okonomiyaki. 

The questionable, half-burnt half-uncooked taste was one thing. You finding random pieces of cabbage on the tiled floor for days afterwards was another thing entirely.

However, it seemed Jaehyun had improved from his old ways. The steaming pot he brought over to the coffee table not only smelled delicious, but looked the part too. You helped carry over the small bowls and chopsticks, along with two cans of beer, despite his requests for you to just sit and be ready to eat.

You took the first bite, blowing on the noodles to cool them down before slurping them into your mouth. All the while, he watched you, an expectant expression painting his face. 

“Wow. You’ve grown up, Jeong Jaehyun. Who would’ve guessed you’d become such a whiz in the kitchen?” 

He smiled, a bashful one at your compliment. “Being able to cook ramen is nothing impressive,” he said, digging in with his own chopsticks.

“There was no way you could have made this for me when we were 17. Look at this egg!” The centre was perfectly soft, not too runny, but not rock hard either. Just the way you liked them. 

You took another mouthful. “You’re a changed man,” you said. “Honestly, your place is a lot cleaner than I expected it to be.”

“That’s what living with four other guys will do to you. I had to learn how to clean out of pure survival,” he chuckled. 

“Was it really that bad?”

He grimaced. “You should’ve seen my dorm room. Basically a biological hazard.”

“They didn’t let non-students into the building. Your building RA was crazy scary, remember?” Even now you could remember the perpetual scowl of the law major when Jaehyun brought you into the dorm lobby.

“It was probably for the best. You would’ve broken up with me on the spot the second you walked through the door.”

You shared a laugh. Strangely, jokes about your break-up were light-hearted in their landing, the words leaving much less of a prickly uncomfortableness than you had been expecting. Perhaps it was still an event of importance in your life, but that cloudy unpleasantness you had come to associate it with had dissipated. It was a turning point, certainly. But so was graduation, and moving out, and travelling overseas for the first time. 

Your feelings about those things weren’t all bad. As you shared the pot of ramen and sipped on your beers, you realised, neither were your feelings about Jaehyun.

“I’m telling you, I was drinking Taeyong under the table. And I do mean that literally. He was passed out and laid across the stools.” He grinned, proud at the memory of beating his senior even five years later. You couldn’t help but grin too, amused by the sincerity of his expression and the way his shoulders set in accomplishment.

“Okay, okay. So now you’re a better drinker, you’ve gotten good at cooking, and you’re cleaner too.”

“And funnier,” he added.

“That one is still up for debate,” you joked, and his eyebrows furrowed together in mock offence. Digs at his sense of humour were not taken lightly. 

“Just because you don’t get my high quality gags,” he sighed, shaking his head. “You’re missing out.”

You nodded, making a noise of agreement if only to appease him. 

“What about me? How am I different?” you asked, voice curious. 

Jaehyun didn’t miss a beat. “Hmm, I think you got older?”

“Come on, I’m being serious!”

His laughter subdued then, surveying you thoughtfully. A quiet smile tugged at his lips when he spoke again. 

“You’re more outspoken than you used to be.” He paused, taking a sip from his can while trying to find the right words, all the while keeping his eyes on you. “You prioritise yourself more. And you’re more sure of who you are. You shine brighter, I think.”

Strange, how a person’s gaze could strip you down and make you feel so naked. There was nothing but earnestness in his eyes, plain and absolute, and the intensity of it was almost too much for you to bear. After all your time apart, Jaehyun could still see you, and see through you. 

I think you still know me inside out, and that scares me, you wanted to tell him.

Instead, you looked away first, tearing your eyes away from his with considerable effort. The pot of ramen on the coffee table, lukewarm now, was almost finished. The music had also stopped playing a while ago. Neither you or Jaehyun had bothered to get up and flip the vinyl to the other side, too busy eating. All that was left was the rain, and even that had faded to a soft pattering against the glass, following its own rhythm. 

Hastily, you stuffed a piece of kimchi into your mouth, for lack of anything better to do. The crunch of it in your mouth was loud, and you fought back a cringe.

“Did your mother make this?” you asked, hoping your attempt at diverting the conversation wasn’t so obvious.

If Jaehyun noticed, he didn’t show it, only nodding in confirmation. 

“She dropped some off last month,” he replied. “Remember how you told me her’s was better than your own mother’s?”

You let out a scandalised gasp. “As if I would ever say such a thing! Don’t let my mother ever hear something so blasphemous about her favourite daughter.”

“You’re her only daughter.”

“And you care too much about technicalities. Just because I’m the only one doesn’t mean I can’t still be the favourite.”

The crisp crunch of another piece of kimchi punctuated the end of your sentence. There was certainly something different about Mama Jeong’s recipes. If there was one thing you missed besides Jaehyun himself, it would have been his mother’s cooking. The woman knew her way around a stovetop better than a Michelin chef, at least in your eyes. 

You thought of her warm smile, and her even warmer embrace. Jaehyun had inherited many things from her, kindness being the greatest of them. Back then, she had been so sure of your future place in their family, welcoming you into her home as if you were her own daughter. You wondered where she stood on that now.

Still clinging onto that idea, perhaps, or were her sights now set on someone else?

“You’ve got something…”  Jaehyun murmured.

He reached across the table, over the pot and the small bowls, the movement quick and almost instinctive. Soft fingers found purchase on your left cheek. His thumb was gentle as it brushed away the stray chilli flake from the corner of your mouth.

Just the lightest touch against your bottom lip. And the warmth of his hand cradling your face.

Then he froze, as if to catch himself, but the damage was already done.

Jaehyun pulled his hand back with a start, an inscrutable expression across his face. He spilled a quick apology that you smiled away, putting on a composed front. At least, you assumed it was an apology. It was hard to hear anything above the buzzing chaos of your mind. The air filled with idle noise as the two of you shuffled in your seats.

“I should um—I should probably get going,” you mumbled, avoiding his eyes. The meal had long been finished. Your hands were already beginning to gather up the bowls and utensils into a stack for easy carrying. 

Jaehyun hummed, something akin to resignation in the noise. “Yeah, uh… I guess so.”

“Let me help you clean up first, and then I’ll be on my way.”

Despite his protests against you assisting with any kind of housework, there you were at the sink, helping him scrub everything nice and clean within the small space of his kitchen. Maybe he was right about there only being enough space for one person behind the counter. The aluminium beer cans went into their designated bins, and you made sure to wipe down the coffee table too.

This time, your half-damp, half-dried clothes found their way into a Byredo shopping bag — Jaehyun would rather die than not smell good — though your shoes still squelched rather uncomfortably when you slipped your bare feet in. By luck, you were able to book a taxi and could pass on the wet walk to the bus stop.

You thanked him again for bringing you along, noting that you probably got more out of the alleged ‘favour’ than he did. 

“Trust me, going with you made the whole thing so much better,” he said, both cheeks dimpling in your favourite smile of his. “And let me know if you need to get the film on your camera developed. I know a place.”

The ride home was flavoured by a sudden loneliness. Maybe it was the view of the city at night, or the absence of people out on the rainy streets, that had an empty feeling settle in your chest. 

Perhaps you should have delayed leaving his apartment. Perhaps you shouldn’t have left at all, and instead weathered the night away with Jaehyun on the couch, some slasher flick playing on the television while you shook under the blankets and tried not to scream at the jumpscares, like you used to. You never did understand why he liked horror films as much as he did.

Perhaps he’d slot his fingers between your own and give them a reassuring squeeze, and gaze at you with the kind of amused fondness he only ever reserved for you.

Heat flooded your face. As if you were entertaining the thought of spending the night at your ex-boyfriend’s place. And getting butterflies at the thought of holding hands? 

How embarrassing.

One thing was for certain. The walls you had put up were cracking, and there seemed to be little hope of patching them up.

“Will you stop messing with that thing?”

Jungwoo clicked his tongue against his teeth, fingers still fiddling with the ribbon on the gift bag. 

“It’s not straight,” he grumbled, pulling at the bow.

“You’re so pedantic.”

“It’s called being detail-oriented,” he fired back, leaning against the backseat of the taxi with a sigh.

You raised an eyebrow. “You say that like I’m not.”

“Well,” he trailed off, shrugging his shoulders. His mouth formed the shape of a smirk. 

You flicked a glance towards the rearview mirror, checking to see if the driver was paying attention to the two of you in the back. After verifying he was not, you landed a few (soft…ish) punches on Jungwoo’s upper arm, revelling in the shocked little noises he made, along with a few mumbles of ‘that actually hurts’ and ‘crazy woman’. 

How nice it was to let your hands fly without the threat of some other fifth floor witness reporting you for physical harassment. 

“I’m telling Joy the present is entirely from me,” you warned, turning around to face the front again.

“Right, except the card inside says my name too. So that’s not going to work.”

You reached into the gift bag, pulling out said card before rolling down the window. “Let me just throw this out.”

It was Jungwoo’s turn to deliver a light smack to your wrist. You dropped the envelope back in the bag, not without tossing an eye-roll his way. He knew just as well as you did that there was no real substance behind the threats — banter with Jungwoo was more for amusement than anything else. Deep down, you were quite fond of him, even if your actions tended to say otherwise, and you’d like to wager he quite enjoyed your company too. 

You couldn’t wait to get a few shots in him later tonight. Word had it he was a notorious lightweight. 

“Hopefully nobody vomits. I’d hate to be cleaning that up in my own house.” He shuddered at the thought. 

“Oh, don’t you worry about that,” you smiled sweetly, patting him on the shoulder. “You just focus on sticking to your limit, okay? I heard what happened at last year’s wrap up event.”

He bristled. “Nothing happened! It honestly wasn’t even that bad. I’m getting unfairly slandered,” he sulked. “I think you should stop hanging out with Joy so much.”

“Yeah, alright. Should we just skip her birthday party and turn the car around then?”

“Shut up.”

The taxi pulled up in front of Joy’s apartment complex, a tall modern thing with much bigger windows than your own building. And so much more glass, too. After splitting the taxi fare with Jungwoo, the two of you stood at the entrance, waiting for the intercom to connect. 

“Are you sure you pressed the right buttons?” Jungwoo asked, peering over your shoulder.

“Yes, of course. Apartment 814.”

“Maybe you should let me try.”

You let out a sigh. “It’s three numbers, Jungwoo. How is it going to be any different if it’s you pressing them instead of me? Do you think the keypad is going to magically—”

“Hello?” 

An unfamiliar male voice crackled through the intercom. “Are you here for Joy?” 

“Yes,” you and Jungwoo answered in unison. 

“Great, I’ll come down to get you guys now. Will only be a minute!” and then the line disconnected.

You and Jungwoo exchanged a glance. “Is he going to let us in?” you asked. 

“He literally said he’d come down to get us,” he answered flatly. “Do you not listen?”

“It was hard to hear him clearly with all the noise in the background,” you grumbled in defence. Hopefully Joy’s walls were thicker than your own, and her neighbours would not lodge a complaint halfway through the night.

The elevator doors slid open to reveal the face of the intercom answerer. It wasn’t detective work to match up the real thing to the pictures Joy would sometimes show you, though he looked taller in real life than he did in the photos from their weekend Jeju trip.

“Sorry about the wait, it was a bit hard to hear the doorbell,” he greeted, ushering you both inside with a warm smile. “I’m Doyoung, by the way.”

You and Jungwoo both introduced yourselves as you stepped into the elevator after him, to which he responded with a hum in recognition, and a knowing grin.

“Are you on door duty for the night?” Jungwoo asked.

Doyoung nodded, pressing on the button for the eighth floor. “It appears I am. She has her hands full with guests to entertain, so,” he trailed off, eyes glazing over for a split second, “you’ll see what I mean when we get up there.”

You had never imagined that a 2-bedroom apartment could fit so many people. Granted, it was nothing compared to the kind of parties you frequented during your university days where cheap spirits and green soju bottles lined the counter, but it was quite a distant cry from the gathering you thought it would be. Judging by the look on Jungwoo’s face, he had not been expecting this either. 

There had to be at least forty people. It almost made you wonder why she didn’t just book out a space instead of letting everyone invade her and her boyfriend’s shared home.

Doyoung made his exit rather quickly after letting you in, probably off to tend to one of his many other duties as unofficial host — poor guy was likely in for a very busy night — leaving you and Jungwoo to fend for yourselves in the entryway of the apartment. There was barely any room left in the tiled space for you to put your shoes.

How did Joy even know this many people? was the thought at the forefront of your mind as you helped Jungwoo stack his sneakers next to yours on a rack further down the hallway. Her present was left on a table near the entry piled with gift bags and wrapped boxes that you assumed was the designated drop-off area. 

Speaking of the birthday girl, you spotted her mingling in the living room and pointed her out to Jungwoo, though it was no easy feat finding her. The number of people, coupled with the dim ambient lighting, made it a challenge to recognise familiar faces. Joy, champagne glass in hand, was swept away in conversation with one of the most beautiful women you had ever laid eyes on. The gorgeous lady held a matching champagne flute in one hand, while the other was wrapped around the arm of—

“Junmyeon? What the hell is he doing here with that beautiful woman?” 

Jungwoo took the words right out of your mouth, a somewhat displeased noise making its way past his lips. You couldn’t help but echo the sentiment.

“Can’t believe this turned into a work function the moment we stepped through the door,” you all but groaned. “And here I thought having you around was bad enough already.”

You expertly dodged the elbow he jabbed into your side.

Joy spotted the two of you then, lingering by the kitchen, and quickly excused herself from the conversation to rush over. The champagne wobbled precariously in her glass as she approached, engulfing the two of you in a sweet-smelling hug.

“My little children! I’m so glad you could make it!” she cried, resting her chin in the space between your shoulder and Jungwoo’s. You exchanged a glance with the boy amidst the chorus of ‘happy birthday’s. 

There was a 77% chance she was drunk already.

“Had a little too much fun tonight?” you asked, helping to prop her upright again.

Joy only beamed in response. “All the more fun now that you two are here. My favourite fifth floor prisoners.” She gave your cheek a soft pinch.

“Quick question,” Jungwoo began, “why is our manager in your house?”

“With his arm around a beautiful woman way out of his league?” you added, swatting her fingers away from your face.

“That’s my sister Irene,” she said, like it was common knowledge. 

You raised an eyebrow. “Since when did you have a sister?”

“Okay, well not my real sister,” she amended, hurriedly waving off your words. “She was a senior in my department. I was really close with her back in university, so, basically my sister. I think we look pretty alike, honestly.”

“And her relation to Junmyeon is…?”

Joy threw a conspiratorial glance around before leaning in, beckoning the two of you closer. This time, a few drops of the champagne did manage to escape via the side of her glass, narrowly missing Jungwoo’s white socks.

“I set them up. On a date!” she whispered, eyes glinting with pride. Why she chose to whisper when it was already hard enough to hear her above the noise at her normal speaking level was beyond you.

You blinked at her a few times. “You set up a goddess like that… with our manager?”

Joy waved another hand dismissively. “Oh, please. Like Junmyeon’s not handsome too. You only think that because you’re too used to seeing him frown and squint at a monitor.” 

You cast a glance in his direction. Maybe she was right. Junmyeon did look somewhat more like a human without his glasses and the semi-permanent lines etched into his forehead. He even looked (dare you say it) quite nice. But maybe it was the poor lighting that made it seem that way.

“Anyways, it’s been about… two months now? I think they look pretty good together,” she mused, following your gaze. 

Junmyeon must have said something funny — a rather loose use of the word by your standards — because Irene had her lovely face scrunched up in a laugh, the pitched sound of it ringing out clearly above the noise of the apartment. In her amusement, she even threw a hand out to slap him lightly on the arm, which he appeared very pleased by.

Sure, you laughed at his jokes too, but it was more out of corporate self-preservation than actual amusement. 

“He kind of has been in a better mood recently,” Jungwoo said thoughtfully.

Joy grabbed his hand with fervour. “Yes, exactly! See? Thanks to my sacrifice, we can all enjoy a nicer, much more pleasant office environment.”

“I’d hardly call that a sacrifice,” you chuckled. “You take too much pleasure in playing matchmaker.” Joy’s response was nothing more than a guilty smile, followed by her emptying the rest of the glass.

It was then that you heard it — the deep, reverberating laugh that always bordered a little bit on breathlessness. It was slightly unnerving how quickly you could pinpoint the sound of his voice without even seeing him, or knowing that he had entered the room. 

You turned around first, eyes drawn to the entry hallway in search of the face to which the laugh belonged. Of course he was going to be here. You knew that. He had said as much two days ago, bidding you farewell across the cafeteria table with a promise to ‘see you on the weekend at Joy’s’.

Lunch with Jaehyun had recently become a rarer occurrence. From what he told you, and the bits of information you gleaned from Joy about Digital, Johnny had pulled Jaehyun onto his team to try and get a firmer grip on the reins not even two weeks ago. Already, the intensity of the new workload was obvious.

You certainly saw him less, much to your disappointment — you could admit that to yourself now.

Jaehyun emerged from the hallway then, midway through another laugh with an arm slung around Doyoung’s shoulders. Funny, how all the other faces were so murky and hard to identify under the dim lighting. And yet, the shape of his dimpled smile was unmistakable to you, as bright as the beacon of a lighthouse on the midnight sea. 

Doyoung scanned the room, catching sight of Joy with you and Jungwoo. He gestured at his girlfriend, and Jaehyun obediently turned in your direction, likely wanting to give his greetings to the birthday girl.

Your eyes locked, and your heart gave a woeful little squeeze in your chest.

“I’m just going to do a quick check on the drink inventory,” Doyoung said as they approached, “I’ll be right back. And please take care of my favourite guest.” With a final friendly pat on Jaehyun’s shoulder, he was off, ducking into the kitchen. 

“Happy birthday!” Jaehyun beamed, arms circling around Joy in a hug which she enthusiastically returned. He grabbed Jungwoo’s hand, pulling him in for one of those man greetings. (Since when were they close?) Their apparent friendship was an unexpected development. 

And then it was your turn. You wondered if it was as easy for others to find solace in a mere gaze as you did with Jaehyun. His eyes did not stray far, wandering around your face, something tender and comforting in his appraisal of your features. A hand came up to brush against your lower back, a gentle and quiet greeting against the excitement of the previous two. His lips pulled into a soft smile as he called your name in greeting. 

“You two are ridiculous,” Joy scoffed.

You inhaled sharply. Was it really that easy to tell? The depth of your attachment?

“You planned this, right? I mean seriously, matching outfits?” she asked, gesturing at you and Jaehyun.

You blinked a few times, looking down blankly at yourself. The dark wash denim and white silk that you had picked out yesterday looked back at you familiarly. Then you glanced at Jaehyun, taking in his white t-shirt, half tucked into a pair of jeans that were exactly the same wash as yours. 

The coordination was completely unintentional — you had no idea what you were going to wear tonight the last time you had spoken to him — but the look on Joy’s face told you there was no use in trying to convince her of the truth. 

(You would’ve argued that the cowl neck of your white silk top elevated your outfit above Jaehyun’s plain white tee, but you digressed.)

“Okay. I’m done with this,” Jungwoo said, throwing his hands up in defeat. “I’m going to do what single people do, and that is to get a goddamn drink.”

“Me too, another bubbly,” Joy chimed, grasping onto Jungwoo’s arm as he turned to leave for the kitchen. “See my success rate? Let me set you up with someone. My hairdresser’s daughter went to Korea University Business School and graduated not too long ago.” 

The rest of her appeal to play matchmaker for Jungwoo was swallowed up by the music and chatter of her guests. And then it was just you, and Jaehyun, and the thirty other people filling up the living room. 

The two of you shared a glance before dissolving into a few light giggles. 

“I do think I pull it off better,” you teased, giving Jaehyun another once-over. He was as handsome as always, the white cotton draped picturesquely across his lean frame while the dark jeans made his mile-long legs look even longer. He could wear a garbage bag and make it look couture. 

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that,” he said with a crooked smile. 

He raised his arm to reveal the denim jacket draped across his arm that you hadn’t noticed before, too busy making sad little googly eyes at him that you hoped other people couldn’t see. The jacket was coloured in the same wash as his jeans, and your own. 

You gave a scandalised gasp. “No, a matching set? How am I supposed to beat that?”

“You can’t. You can only admit defeat to the double denim. I out-Justin-Timberlaked you.”

“Justin Timberlake is not a verb.”

He only grinned in response, teeth pearly and eyes sparkling as he took in the slight pout of your mouth. 

“Whatever,” you conceded with a wave of your hand, though a smile crept its way onto your face. “You win. Let’s get something to drink.”

Jungwoo and Joy were nowhere to be found when the two of you made your way to the kitchen. What you did find was an impressive selection of bottles atop the marble counter, a selection that easily outdid the ones from your university days in both quality and variety. 

At least one thing was the same. Green soju bottles were always a dependable presence. 

“Shall we go for your favourite?” Jaehyun asked, holding up what looked to be a bottle of wine. You moved a little closer, peering at the label through his fingers.

“I do enjoy a good red,” you replied, accepting the glass he offered you with a quiet ‘thank you’. You took a small sip — because tonight, you felt no need to gulp down alcohol like a camel to ease your nerves — before adding, “Merlot is far from my favourite though.”

“Really?’ He raised an eyebrow. “I do seem to remember how you pretty much finished a whole bottle by yourself. At dinner, that time at the Italian place.”

You held back a wince at the recollection of that fated blind date. Of course he’d remember that. It would be hard to forget the way you all but sculled down three full glasses in the time it took him to finish one. A quick sideways glance revealed the slight upturn to the corners of his mouth, paired with a telling glint in his eyes. Jaehyun was teasing.

“It was honestly quite impressive,” he said, lips curling into a full-blown smile now.

“That was different,” you said. The next sip went down a little faster than you would have liked. “That was out of necessity.” 

There was no way I could’ve made it through that night without alcohol in my system, you almost said, but caught yourself just in time. 

A few seconds passed before either of you spoke again.

“Were you really upset to see me?”

Gone was the playful lilt to his voice. This question was asked softly, carefully, the sound of it so delicate you were afraid it would shatter in the air at your clumsy reply. Slowly, you turned to look at him, seeking the reassurance you were sure you could find in his eyes, but they had moved to the contents of his own glass. You followed their path, watching as he gave the liquid a few absent-minded swirls.

“Maybe. A little, I think,” you admitted. “I don’t know. There was a lot going on in my head that day. When I realised it was you.”

A pair of giggling women — Joy’s guests who you didn’t know — approached the counter, one of them tentatively reaching for something in front of you. Noticing her struggle, you shuffled slightly towards Jaehyun, trying to make some space around the counter. The one with her hand outstretched flashed you a grateful smile, which you politely returned, although with far less vigour. 

Perhaps the bustling kitchen in the centre of all the foot traffic wasn’t the best place for a conversation like this.

There was some fussing with the bottle cap, or whatever it was that they couldn’t quite get to work, followed by a considerably clean pour for two people who were clearly not quite sober. Then they were gone, giggling the entire way out of the kitchen and freeing up the space around you.

If you wanted to, you could have stepped back and returned to your original spot before their arrival. Put some more distance between you and Jaehyun again. Not that you were seriously encroaching on his personal space, but it was enough for you to recognise the proximity.

Instead, you took the smallest of steps closer and placed a hand on his forearm. His eyes flitted down at the touch, taking in the way your fingers lay feather-light on his skin, just above the ridge of his wrist. 

“I’m glad it was you,” you said. The words were true, but the honesty of them still tasted odd on your tongue, and you fought back a cringe. Jaehyun finally turned to meet your eyes, some semblance of hope, or maybe it was relief that coloured his expression. “And I’m glad we’re here, now,” you added.

You hoped he knew you weren’t talking about the far right corner of Joy’s kitchen.

Jaehyun smiled, and it was like the sun had finally risen up over the stark mountain peak, bathing everything in a warm, golden glow. It was the kind of warmth you didn’t realise you craved until the full force of it spilled over you, washing away the blue and the cold. 

“Me too,” he said softly.

Even if you hadn’t fallen victim to Joy’s schemes, you would like to think the two of you would still end up here, only via longer and slightly different routes. Perhaps an unexpected run-in in the lobby on a Tuesday morning, or the eventual and excruciatingly awkward introduction through Joy. Whatever it may have been, you’d like to think you would’ve found your way to each other again eventually. 

Curiosity tickled your mind. “What about you?”

“Hmm?”

He was still smiling, the lines by his nose just visible, and he had his eyes on you, though there was a faraway look about them. Something about his gaze reminded you of the way you’d regard a painting, framed and hung up on a wall in some art museum — carefully examining the details of the brushstrokes against the canvas, yet all the while trying to hold the whole piece in your mind’s eye, and let it touch the surface of that primal emotion somewhere inside of you. The depth of his gaze was enough to make you self-conscious, and you quickly averted your eyes, taking another sip from your glass. It was a good excuse to school your features before you spoke again.

“How did you feel when you saw me? Were you upset?”

Jaehyun regarded his own glass wistfully. “Not exactly upset, no,” he began, though a movement in his peripheral had him trailing off. 

Another of Joy’s guests had appeared, hovering beside the two of you with his eyes set on the bottle of whiskey directly in front of you. Politely, Jaehyun side-stepped away from the counter and wrapped a gentle hand around the bend of your elbow, guiding you out of the hectic buzz of the kitchen. It stayed there, warm and comforting, until you found your way back to the open space of the living room, and even then he was slow to let you go, fingertips lingering a just second too long before they retreated back to his side. 

“I think I was surprised, more than anything,” he continued. “Didn’t really know what to expect, not that I was expecting much. I never even thought I’d get to see you again after university. Thought you were gone for good.”

He paused, one side of his mouth quirking up slightly. The movement was small, and you wondered if you were supposed to have caught it at all.

“You stood there, with your bag in one hand and your cardigan in the other, looking like you were waiting for me to spontaneously combust—”

“Okay, I’m sure it wasn’t that bad.”

“—and all I could think about was how you were even prettier than I remembered. And back then I already thought you were the most beautiful girl I had ever seen.”

At that, you were quiet. Whatever silly rebuttal or attempt to defend yourself died quickly on your tongue as you let his confession settle beneath your skin, warming it from the inside out. Jaehyun was not even one bit fazed, looking like he had just said something trivial about the weather, or stated some objective fact like ‘grass is green’. For him, honesty had never been the heavy, cumbersome challenge it was for you. Judging by the resigned smile on his face, he wasn’t expecting some grand response from you either, which was all the better, because god, what were you supposed to say to something like that?

“Oh, there you are,” came a voice from behind you, followed by a hand on your shoulder. 

Joy’s timing was impeccable, as always.

“Sorry, this one is coming with me,” she said to Jaehyun, looping her arm around yours with half-drunken determination. “Us fifth-floors have some business to settle. With darts.”

Your eyes followed the direction of her outstretched arm, where sure enough, there was a dartboard hanging on the wall by the balcony. Jungwoo was there, standing obediently with his hands crossed in front of his stomach as he politely nodded along to whatever Junmyeon was animatedly saying. The beer bottle Jungwoo cradled, now forgotten, seemed more like an accessory than an actual beverage. He caught your eye and sent you a frantic look.

You whipped your head back to Jaehyun. “Please don’t let her take me.” 

Surely, he could see the pleading, the desperation in your eyes.

Jaehyun, having witnessed the whole exchange between you and Jungwoo, only grinned. “It does sound like some serious business,” he said, cheeks dimpling. Joy made a noise of agreement and gave your arm a little tug.

“You’re more than welcome to come and spectate, Jaehyun,” she called out over her shoulder as she herded you towards her destination. His only response was a hearty laugh. You stared at him in despair as you were towed away by the birthday girl. Next time you’d invite his boss to the function.

The game of darts (or seven games, if you were being precise) was decidedly less awful than you had expected. Junmyeon had promised not to speak about work and by some miracle, actually stuck to his word. Maybe you even got to know the guy a little better, outside of his office habits like the specific order in which he drank his three teas everyday (yuja, then chamomile, and lastly peppermint). Like you, he was somewhat of a wine enthusiast, though his knowledge of French vineyards was far superior to yours. 

By the third round, the game had clearly left your little work circle. Jaehyun joined in at one point, competitiveness getting the better of him. Doyoung tried his hand too, and he was honestly abysmal, but smiled the whole time and seemed to be enjoying himself, even if he had to pick the darts off the floor on every turn. Out of all the players over the course of the seven games, Junmyeon’s date Irene had been the most unexpected hidden card, scoring three bullseyes in a row. 

Oh, to be a goddess and have perfect hand-eye coordination. 

“You feeling okay?” you asked a rather blank-looking Jungwoo. His eyes were beginning to droop, and so was the rest of his body, long limbs sprawled out against the leather. You could swear he only had his initial bottle of beer and the two celebratory soju shots Joy had forced him to take (from which you were not exempt either), and yet here he was, half-asleep on the couch.

“Hmm,” was his eloquent reply.

The party was slowly drawing to a close, the living room much emptier now than it had been when you first walked in. Junmyeon and Irene had made their departure some twenty minutes ago, and there were only a handful of guests left, most of them getting ready to leave as well. Grown adults didn’t gamble with their sleep schedules. 

Doyoung emerged from the hallway, running a hand through the mess of hair on top of his head, already tousled from the fifty or so times he had repeated the action throughout the night.

“Okay, she’s knocked out,” he sighed. On his face, you glimpsed the first sign of relief you had seen all night. “I don’t think she’s going to puke, but I left a bucket by the bed just in case.”

You flashed him a grateful smile. “Thank you for tonight. I can’t imagine it was easy having to wrangle all these people for so long.”

“Oh, it’s no big deal. As long as Joy’s happy and had a good time.” 

Even though he was clearly exhausted, Doyoung smiled, and the fondness held within it felt like a private thing you shouldn’t have witnessed. Your mind went, now as it always did, to a certain dimpled smile.

“I’d better get this one home,” you said instead, gesturing at Jungwoo slumped on the couch. You turned towards the boy, patting his shoulder gently. “Come on, time to go.”

“Mmffh.” 

Another brilliant and enlightening response.

The owner of your favourite dimpled smile stepped out from the bathroom to the sight of you struggling to get Jungwoo upright enough to loop an arm around your shoulders. The half-asleep boy was lean, but definitely heavier than he looked, or perhaps the few glasses of wine over the course of the night had sapped some of the strength from your body. Jaehyun was at your side in an instant, shouldering most of Jungwoo’s weight as the two of you dragged him to a standing position.

“I’ll come with you,” he said, no room for discussion in his tone. You had no mind to protest anyway. 

Doyoung was already busying himself with clearing plates and glasses from the living area when Jaehyun bid him farewell. The guy seemed to have formulated a detailed plan of attack to get his apartment back to the no-doubt spotless state it had been prior to tonight.

“I sorted out most of the empty bottles so you should be able to just throw them out in the morning,” Jaehyun said over his shoulder. He crouched on the ground, guiding Jungwoo’s disobedient left foot into the correct shoe, carefully doing up the laces once both feet were inside their corresponding sneakers. 

You tossed a glance back at Doyoung whizzing around the place like a Roomba, feeling a pang of guilt for not having done much to help him clean up. Even though you had been a much more gracious and tidy guest than other people in Joy’s company, you couldn’t help but feel like there was more you could’ve done, apart from babysitting a very not-sober Jungwoo and making sure he didn’t crack his head open on the corner of the coffee table. 

“It’s fine,” Jaehyun said softly. You turned to look at him, half-surprised, and he only flashed you a small smile. “Doyoung likes to clean. I think he finds comfort in it.”

He was fluent as ever in your micro-expressions. Maybe one day you’d learn to stop being surprised by it. 

The taxi back to Jungwoo’s place was shorter than you had expected. His head lolled between your shoulder and Jaehyun’s in the backseat, before finally finding a home in Jaehyun’s lap. Even when you finally tucked the younger boy safely into his own bed — after going to great lengths to extract his building code which involved a series of profuse apologies to his neighbours who you had mistakenly rung in the middle of the night — there was an impressive imprint on his right cheek that exactly matched the side seam on Jaehyun’s jeans. You could’ve sworn there was a small, wet patch of drool left behind on the denim, and you were sure Jaehyun himself had noticed it too, but he gave no indication of complaint.

“Are you far from here?” Jaehyun asked once the elevator had brought the both of you back down to Jungwoo’s lobby.

“I’m actually just a fifteen minute walk away,” you answered.

The invitation in your voice was silent, and you knew he would’ve accompanied you home even if you lived on the other side of the city. Still, some achingly pleasant emotion settled over you when you heard his footsteps fall in with yours against the pavement. He took his place between you and the open street, shielding you from the bustle of late night delivery bikes and club bound taxis.

Though the days still resembled summer, nights were when the beginnings of autumn could reveal itself. The slight chill in the air was not unbearable, but still noticeable against your bare arms, and just enough for goosebumps to spring up on the skin there. Before you could even bring your hands up to wrap them around yourself, Jaehyun shrugged off his jacket and wordlessly draped it over your shoulders. 

“Thanks,” you mumbled, drawing the collar close around your neck. The stiff denim was a little rough, but warm from his body heat all the same, with faint traces of his woody scent lingering on the fabric.

Jaehyun thrust his hands in his pockets and grinned. “Now you out-Justin-Timberlake me.”

“Still not a real word.”

You supposed there was something about night-time that made it feel all the more forgiving to the emotional afflictions of the human condition. Perhaps it was only against the muted palette of the midnight blue sky and the dimly lit city streets that you felt brave enough to face the truth of your feelings, without agonising over the consequences of acknowledging them. Even so, you found yourself wishing the night would stretch on for just a little longer. Honesty always seemed to wear off faster than it came on.

“You’ve been crazy busy lately.”

Jaehyun’s responding laugh contained little amusement. “Crazy busy is one way to put it. I can’t believe Johnny has had to deal with all of this the whole time. This client is so,” he paused, trying to find the right word, before finally settling on “demanding.” The look in his eyes gave you the feeling there were many other more colourful adjectives he wanted to use instead.

The two of you passed the convenience store corner of your street. Your place was not too far up ahead, the glass building doors almost visible if you squinted. The night was coming to an end, and something cold and heavy settled in your chest to accompany the realisation.

“They want us in New York working on the new client site as soon as possible, so we’ve been running around trying to get visas and everything sorted,” he sighed. 

Your footsteps faltered. 

“You’re going to New York?” you asked. 

He nodded. 

“When?”

“Within the next week, if everything comes back approved.”

You hadn’t even noticed that you had come to a standstill until Jaehyun’s footsteps also slowed to a stop. The both of you stood like that, under the dim glow from the streetlights, in the middle of the sidewalk. 

“We’ll probably be there until the end of the year, at least until the design piece is done,” he said. 

Did your face betray the sudden drop of your stomach? Did the sound of a fissure cracking through your chest escape through the slight parting of your lips?

It was silly, really. That one small piece of information could turn your entire world on its head. International travel on a project wasn’t a rare occurrence. And you supposed you would’ve found out sooner or later, even if he hadn’t told you, because he had no obligation to update you about every development in his life, even if they involved crossing continents. Even if you wanted to know every little detail. 

Jaehyun’s eyes moved from his shoes to your face. The shadows cast by the streetlights made it hard to decipher his expression, but you thought there was a pleading look to his handsome face. What he was pleading for, you weren’t entirely sure. 

You cleared your throat and finally found your voice again. “That’s really exciting, Jaehyun,” you managed, trying to keep your tone light. “I hear New York is gorgeous this time of year.”

The smile you pasted on your face was a flimsy one, and you could feel your top lip begin to tremble when he didn’t quite return it. Before it could turn into a grimace, you let the corners of your mouth fall. There had never been any use in putting on an act in front of him. Unsure what else to say without sounding insincere — though you were excited for him, truly, this little fit of sadness was a silly thing that would pass surely and quickly — you turned and resumed your steps towards your apartment. 

Another few minutes and you’d be in the safety of your own home. Free to let your top lip tremble and quiver, and let the inexplicable lump in your throat force its way out, rather than try to swallow it down.

It only took a few steps for you to realise that Jaehyun had not followed. You looked over your shoulder to find him standing there by the streetlight, eyes fixed on the ground again. 

“I don’t want to go,” he said, toeing at a crack in the concrete. “If I didn’t have to, I wouldn’t. I don’t want to leave…”

You.

He may not have said that last word, but you heard it all the same. Your chest squeezed with emotion you couldn’t quite place.

“But you have to,” you said softly. A gentle breeze blew through the early autumn air and you briefly wondered if your words had been carried adrift.

He looked up at you then, eyes burning into yours with unspoken sentiments. A thousand words were conveyed with that one look, those few seconds in which you understood everything he wanted to say, and nothing he wanted to say, because he hadn’t said much at all. Just like how he could read your emotions with a simple glance at your face, you saw his reluctance. You saw the irresolution in his resolve, and how it wavered as he turned over in his mind the things he wanted to say to you, and how much of his heart he was willing to risk. 

“But I have to,” he agreed. 

Jaehyun still knew you inside out, yes, but you knew him too.

Your feet dragged over the last few hundred metres to your apartment complex, until you finally reached the door and there was nothing left you could do to delay the inevitable.

“Here,” you said, handing his jacket back to him. “Thank you for walking me home.”

He took it from your outstretched hand, fingers just brushing your knuckles. “Of course.”

And maybe Jaehyun was just as unwilling to let you go. His feet stayed firmly planted on the concrete pavement in front of your building, even though you were pretty sure no harm would befall you across the five steps into the lobby. The two of you stood there for a while, neither quite knowing what to say, or how to ward off the odd melancholy you knew he felt too.

There were so few guarantees of forever in life. You knew that. And even if you had never really gotten him back in the first place, you couldn’t shake the feeling that you were losing him again. Except this time, he wouldn’t just be a 67-minute subway ride away. This time, he’d be a 14-hour flight away, on the other side of not the city but the world, with 7,000 miles and the entire Pacific Ocean separating you. 

And yes, he’d come back eventually, but who could promise that the feelings between the two of you now would be the same upon his return? You knew that you were in no position to demand he refrain from exploring other romantic pursuits, to deter him from making new connections in the diverse metropolis that was New York City, and all the excitement and energy that came with it. 

You had unknowingly gotten in the way of that once.

“Well, I’d better get inside,” you said quietly, gesturing at the building behind you. Jaehyun only nodded.

This was it. All things must come to an end, you thought as you walked up to the lobby door. Even if they never really started. Perhaps you and your hesitance to let him in had played the biggest part of all, and whatever it was between you and Jaehyun wouldn’t be ending before it began if you had only been more forgiving at the start. Less pointy and disagreeable. Perhaps then you would be parting now on more certain terms, and you’d carry some peace of mind knowing he’d be coming back to you, instead of the crushing weight of disappointment currently lodged underneath your sternum.

And yet, what difference did it make? You’d be losing him anyway, no matter what you did. In two weeks’ time, he’d be sitting in a conference room on a different continent, regardless of whether you said nothing or cussed him out to his face right now.

Your hand froze on the steel handle for only a second before you turned around to face him again. Three determined strides was all it took to close the distance between you. 

“What is it?” he asked.

There had been few occasions where you had seen Jaehyun drunk, or at least not sober, in the years you had known him. Your split early on in university had not afforded you many chances to witness his supposedly high tolerance in action at weekend benders. Nothing more than a few underage sips snuck from his dad’s glass at the dinner table. You took a second now to look at him, really look at him, taking in all the details of the face you knew almost as well as your own. 

Pink. Everything about him was so pink, from the slight tinge around the whites of his eyes, to the lingering flush in the apples of his cheeks.

To the pretty colour of his soft, full lips. 

They parted with confusion when you approached. Carefully, you reached out a hand and placed it against his cheek, feeling the way he leaned into your touch almost immediately. His eyes fluttered shut for the briefest of moments before they were searching your face again, almost fervently. 

“I just…” you whispered, trying to commit this picture of him to memory. 

What difference did it make?

It was hard to tell who moved first. You’d like to believe it didn’t matter.

The rhythm of your lips against his was unfamiliar at first, clumsy from years of disuse. Through slow and careful movements, you reacquainted yourself with the shape of Jaehyun’s mouth, the pillowy swell of his bottom lip as it gently slid in between your own. It fit there perfectly, like it always did. His hands came up to graze the curve of your waist, resting lightly on your skin as if he was afraid you’d crumble like sand in his grasp. 

You tilted your head, parting your mouth ever so slightly to let the tip of your tongue brush against the underside of his top lip. The kiss changed immediately. You felt his surprise in the small puff of air that escaped through his nose and landed softly against your cheek. His fingers gripped at you with a newfound strength, pulling you flush against him. Even through the fabric of your shirts, the outline of his toned chest was unmistakable. Your hands found their home in the softness of hair at the nape of his neck, revelling in the throaty sound that left him as you ran your hands through it. 

How had you denied yourself of this for so long?

Jaehyun must have pulled away first, because suddenly you could breathe again, shaky gasps coming in and out through your mouth. He fared no better, pressing his forehead gently against yours while he tried to catch his breath.

You couldn’t think. You felt electrified, as if every nerve ending in your body was simultaneously firing, as if your blood was laced with dynamite. Hell, you had half a mind to invite him up to your room and finish off what you had so brazenly started.

“It’s late,” he finally managed, voice rough. “You should head in.” His hands, however, stayed firmly in place around your waist. You watched as his Adam’s apple bobbed up and down with each swallow.

Right. Perhaps it was best to let the night end here, before you could do anything else that you might regret. 

“Yeah, I should probably,” you murmured, catching the way his eyes followed each movement of your mouth as you spoke. The sound of your voice seemed to break the daze he was in, and you felt his grip on you loosen, slowly and reluctantly. The arms you had looped around his neck made their way back to your sides. You were released from his warmth far too quickly.

Impulsive decisions (like inviting your ex-boyfriend to spend the night in your one-bedroom apartment with nowhere to sleep except in your bed) seldom ended well. You should’ve known better than to make those rookie mistakes.

You had barely turned around to walk up to your building doors when Jaehyun wrapped a warm hand around your wrist and pulled you back into him. He pressed his lips to yours, swallowing the small noise of surprise that left your mouth. This time, his kiss was softer, surer, and in it you tasted the sweetness of unspoken promises he was determined to keep. 

“I’ll see you when I get back,” he said, dark eyes fixed on you with conviction. Your lip colour had smudged by the side of his mouth, leaving behind a faint pink stain that only added to the pretty hue of his now kiss-swollen lips. 

He was still the most gorgeous person you had ever seen. 

“See you when you’re back, then,” you echoed. 

Some odd emotion, neither happy nor sad, settled in your chest as you pushed open the door to the emptiness of your home. You had rushed to the window, hoping to catch a glimpse of Jaehyun before he left, only to find he had gone already, and the sidewalk outside your building was as vacant as to be expected for this hour of the night.

No matter. You’d wait for him to come back. 

“One more prosecco before he disappears to the bathroom for the rest of the night.”

You cast a glance at the catering table and clicked your tongue against your teeth.

“Half a prosecco,” you concluded, taking a sip from your own glass. 

Joy raised a shapely eyebrow at you. “You know it doesn’t hit until at least twenty minutes after he gets the munchies.”

“True, but he specifically told me he skipped lunch today so it would hit earlier, and he’d have the energy to mingle.”

“Well,” she shrugged, “I guess that’d do it.”

The two of you turned your gazes back to the catering table, where Jungwoo was doing some serious damage to the salmon ceviche tostadas. The glass in his hand was empty, and you watched as he asked for a refill from one of the waitstaff.

“Someone should really stop him,” Joy sighed. “Before we get a repeat of last year.”

“Someone should,” you agreed.

Neither of you made a move.

As far as year-end wrap-up events went, this one wasn’t too bad, even if it was your first at the company. This year, HR had managed to book one of the smaller function rooms at an upscale hotel, with an open bar and hors d’oeuvres menu to match. It was a nice chance to celebrate the year’s achievements, and get to know the other people in the department a little better. Already a year in this place, and you’d be lying if you said you knew the name of every person on your floor.

September to November had flown by in a blur. Recruitment for the company’s graduate program next year had been an intensive few months of screening, interviewing, reviewing, and then interviewing again. As hectic as it had been, the fruits of your team’s efforts had been warmly recognised with smiles and praises from the senior managers and higher-ups you’d had the chance to speak with tonight. 

Traditionally, each department hosted their own event, though from what you gathered, HR and Marketing were the only ones that put in any real effort. While HR liked to keep things classy, Marketing liked to go all out.

“Do you think it’s true that Marketing rented out a yacht this year?” you asked. Surely their budget wasn’t that excessive.

Joy made a face. “God, I hope not. It’s the middle of December. I’d be surprised if the Han River wasn’t all frozen over.”

Winter had come early this year, sinking its cold fingers into November and staking its claim. Yet, there had been no snow, even though it was only a few days out from the holidays. Though it was nice that your clothes stayed relatively dry all day from the lack of precipitation, you couldn’t help but miss the sight of the city covered in a blanket of white softness. 

“There he goes,” Joy said, nudging your arm. You turned to see Jungwoo excuse himself from the conversation, setting down a barely-touched glass on the tablecloth. He made a beeline for the men’s restrooms, or as close to a beeline as he could manage in his current state, face flushed and a little queasy.

It was a good thing the company’s holiday closure started tomorrow.

“Okay, you win. Want to come and get a refill with me?” she asked. “We can say hi to a few of the directors over there.”

The thought of having to network with more seniors, when you had already spent the last hour and a half donning bright smiles and laughing politely at their lacklustre jokes, was not a pleasant one. You knew it would be a good thing for you to go and introduce yourself, but your battery for social interaction had long since been depleted. Perhaps you should’ve taken a page out of Jungwoo’s book.

Still, you flashed Joy a grateful smile. “You go ahead. I might grab some air, actually.”

“Okay,” she replied, eyes warm with understanding. “But make sure you put your coat on. It’s freezing out there.”

She was right, of course. The toasty interior of the function room was a completely different world from the frigid gust of wind that greeted you as soon as you pulled the sliding door open. An upscale hotel needed to have a matching upscale view of the city. You leaned against the balcony railing, blocking out the icy sting of the metal against your hands, and took in the sight of the not-quite-frozen Han River below, and the sparkling Seoul Tower further away on the skyline.

You’d only be out here for a little bit, you told yourself. Just a few minutes, and then you’d head home.

Truthfully, you could have left half an hour ago when your reserves for socialising had just run out, and be within the warm and familiar confines of your own bed right now, doom-scrolling to your heart’s content. But these days, the solitude of your apartment that you had once found comforting had evolved into a loneliness that you’d rather avoid. 

The empty echoes of your own footsteps across the tiled floors didn’t bounce against the walls like deep laughter did.

Absent-mindedly, you thumbed at the pendant sitting at the hollow of your throat. You had turned your jewellery box inside out, almost fully convinced that you had lost the thing entirely until you finally spotted the milky pearl set in white gold, underneath all the other chains. It was gorgeous when you had first opened the velvet box all those years ago, and it still was now, even if you hadn’t seen it for quite some time. Jaehyun always had an eye for beautiful things.

You weren’t the only one who endured a few packed and chaotic months. Johnny’s team had flown out of the country the Wednesday after Joy’s birthday and had been sequestered in New York ever since. Between your swamped schedules and the 14 hour time difference, conversations with Jaehyun were intermittent at best, and sparse and uncoordinated at worst. Sometimes he’d message with silly little things, like the time he sent you a picture of a doll sitting in the window of an antique shop.

this reminded me of you, the accompanying text had said.

He was due back soon, and there was still much left to be said, but above all, you only hoped that he was well, and that the New York winter was much more forgiving than it was here at home.

The cloudy wisps of air formed by your breath floated upwards before they dissipated into the night sky. No wonder the balcony was empty — who would want to be out here when there were mozzarella stuffed mushrooms and central heating on the other side of the glass?

You heard the doors slide open behind you as someone else equally as crazy decided to step out into the cold. Just as well. It was time for you to head back anyways. You turned to make your way inside, only to freeze in your tracks.

“They told me I’d find you out here. You really know how to pick a spot, huh?”

A soft gasp left your mouth.

“Jaehyun?”

He gave you a smile, your favourite smile, where his dimples were only just visible, and there was the hint of a pout to the shape of his lips. He was here, and he was in front of you, looking at you like you were the most wonderful thing in the world that he would ever have the good fortune of knowing. Your chest swelled almost painfully at the sight of him.

“When did you get back? How did you even get in here?”

“We landed in Incheon earlier this afternoon. I had to pay the door guy outside a hundred bucks for him to let me in.”

Your eyes widened. “He can’t make you do that!”

“Just kidding,” Jaehyun chuckled. “I only had to show him my company ID.”

He walked over to where you stood by the railing and rested his arms against the metal. His profile was sharp against the darkness of the night sky, and you took a moment to study the details while he took in the view. 

“Are you tired?” you asked. “It can’t be easy adjusting to the time difference.”

“A little,” he admitted. The bags under his eyes were dark and purple now that you could see his face up close. He must have been exhausted. Nobody ever slept well on long haul flights. “You should see Johnny though. He would have come tonight, but jet lag is seriously kicking his ass.”

You shared a laugh, traces of your breaths mingling in the air. Beside him, you settled back into your original spot, mirroring the way he leaned against the metal railing. Jaehyun was close, but not too close, your elbows only a few centimetres apart. A mellow silence settled over the balcony as you gazed out at the river, watching the never-ending stream of cars as they circled the waterfront. 

With even this, you were content. His mere presence next to you was a remedy in itself, regardless of the words shared or touches exchanged. You felt more at home in this moment now than you had in over 3 months.

“I’ve missed you,” he said, still gazing out into the distance. The gravity in his voice hinted at circumstances beyond the recent season he had spent on the other side of the world. And yet, he had said it so simply, as if the words were an immovable truth that would withstand the corrosion of time.

“I’ve missed you too,” you replied.

Maybe it was just that simple, because it was the truth. The nights weathered away in your own apartment were only lonely because there had been an absence of him, an absence that was known to you, even if you had not felt it for many years.

He turned to you, taking in a shaky breath. “I should never have let you go.”

“Oh, Jaehyun—”

“I was young, and foolish, and I thought I knew what I wanted. And I had you, but I thought I wanted more, because I wanted everything. I wanted the whole damn world.”

Something sharp pricked behind your eyes as you listened to the honesty pouring out of him.

“And then I lost you, and it was—god, it was… like someone had sucked all the colour out of my life. And I had no one to blame, because I was the one who did that to myself. To us.”

It was so hard to not notice the pain etched into his beautiful features. The tight set of his jaw. The redness that rimmed his eyes. Your fingers ached to reach over and smooth out the crease between his brows.

“There were so many things I could have done to make things right between us again. Even if you wouldn’t have me back. But my pride, and my ego… I did nothing—”

“You can’t pin it all on yourself, Jaehyun,” you said, shaking your head. “I had no idea what I wanted. And even when I did, I never acted—I never stood up for myself. I could’ve fought for us, but I didn’t. I just accepted everything. Hell, I never even told you how I felt.”

You flashed him a watery smile. “We needed the time away from each other, don’t you think?” 

There was a moment where the two of you simply stared at each other. A hurricane of repressed emotions swirled in your chest, finally breaking the surface five years on. Jaehyun must have felt the same, reliving all those memories now. You could see it on his face.

Youth was so beautiful, and precious — even the heartbreak, and all the other foolish things that came along with it. 

“I let you go once, and maybe that was meant to happen.” He took a step closer. “But we’re not dumb teenagers anymore. I’m not… I won’t make the same mistake twice.”

His eyes locked on yours as he gazed at you with reverence. “Don’t you still feel the same? Even after all these years?”

I do, you wanted to say. 

You would have too, if it weren’t for the small speck of white that landed in Jaehyun’s dark hair. It was visible for only a few seconds before melting away. You looked up and sure enough, the night sky was dotted with white.

“First snow,” you breathed, watching as the snowflakes fell from the sky. “Do you know what that means?”

Jaehyun gave you a small shake of his head. Of course. He never believed in superstitions.

You reached for his hand, feeling his fingers respond to yours immediately. He was so warm, and his touch breathed life back into your frozen body.

“If you see the first snow with someone you love, it means that your love will be true and long-lasting.”

A few seconds passed as he took in your words, trying to make sense of them.

“You… love me?”

“I do,” you admitted. A teardrop finally spilled out from your waterline, leaving behind a wet track on your cheek that stung in the cold. “Even when I thought I hated you, deep down, I think I still loved you.”

One of his hands came up to wipe away the trail of moisture from the escaped tear. The action sent a shiver through your entire body.

“I never stopped loving you,” he confessed softly, stroking your cheek. You felt it then, that deep, aching feeling that had threaded itself into the very marrow of your bones. 

Longing. You longed for his presence, his smile, his touch. You longed to hold his heart in your hands again, and give him yours in exchange. You had missed him more than you could bear, and here he was, telling you his heart was where it had always been, sitting in the centre of your palm. 

Perfect moments didn’t exist, but damn did this one come close.

“Come here,” Jaehyun whispered, pulling you into him. 

His mouth was just as sweet as you remembered. His lips were a little rougher, slightly chapped from the cold. His kiss was slow and patient, taking his time to explore the shape of your mouth and mould to it again. You felt his smile, the slight tension in his bottom lip giving him away, and you couldn’t help but reciprocate, a quiet giggle bubbling in your chest before escaping through your lips. 

“I really fucking missed you,” you mumbled against his mouth, another giggle accompanying the words. “You kissed me and then you were on a plane to the other side of the world.” 

“I told you I’d see you when I was back, didn’t I?” he reminded, giving your waist a small squeeze. “And for the record, you kissed me. Not that it matters.”

You swatted a hand against his chest. “I see you still care too much about technicalities.”

Jaehyun only laughed, that deep and familiar sound you had craved to hear for the last 3 months. He pulled your hands into his warm ones, and pressed his lips to your knuckles. 

“Your hands are cold,” he murmured, wrapping his fingers around yours. 

“Well, I was about to head back inside when you found me. It’s nice and toasty in there.”

“Do you want to go in now?”

You looped your arms around his neck and buried your head into the crook of it. “Let’s just stay out here for a little bit longer,” you said, words muffled by the fabric of his coat. “You always run hot in the colder months anyways. Enough to keep me warm.”

He hummed in agreement, holding you flush against him as the snow fell around you. In his arms, you were the most at ease you had been in years, and the thought was almost enough to bring a fresh new wave of moisture to your eyes. 

“What is that—something’s digging in,” he suddenly said, pulling away from you. His eyes landed on the pendant that had slipped out from underneath the lapels of your coat. Wordlessly, he reached for it, running his thumb across the pale pearl that hung from your neck. 

“You kept this?” 

“Of course,” you answered. “You kept yours.”

He smiled, a big one, dimples marking his cheeks. “Of course,” he repeated. 

“We’re lucky, aren’t we? To have found each other again after all this time?”

Jaehyun’s reply took the form of another sweet and unhurried kiss. It warmed you from the inside out, all the way down to the tips of your toes.

“So we’re really doing this, right?” he asked. “We’re giving us a second chance?”

You raised an eyebrow. “Are you telling me you said all that earlier just for shits and giggles?”

“Of course not,” he chuckled, squeezing your sides again. “I just wanted to make sure. I think I might lose faith in the world if you tell me you don’t want to be with me.”

“You have nothing to worry about,” you reassured. The snow was sticking to his hair, and you took a second to run your hands through it, brushing off the half-melted pieces. His eyes fondly followed your every movement.

“Good, because I plan on keeping you for a long time.”

You returned inside shortly after. The snow had picked up and it was clear that you couldn’t stay out for much longer (unless you wanted hypothermia, which neither of you did). The function hall was much emptier now than it had been when you stepped out, and of the remaining faces, none of them were familiar. 

A quick glance at your phone showed a few unread messages from Joy. 

joy [08:32 pm]: hey, had to leave, doyoung’s still working tomorrow so it’s an early night for me joy [08:33 pm]: hope you and jaehyun work things out joy [08:33 pm]: i’m rooting for you guys!!

joy [08:37 pm]: also can you see if jungwoo is okay joy [08:38 pm]: i don’t think he’s come out yet

“Can I ask a favour, just before we go?”

Jaehyun smiled back at you sweetly, devotion written in his eyes. “Anything.”

“Pop into the men’s room and check if Jungwoo’s still alive?”

Life was a funny thing. 

“There are so few things in life that are guaranteed. Death, for one, and taxes, for another. Sorry if that was a bit dark and killed the mood. You can laugh, by the way. But I think everyone here would agree, neither of those two are all that conducive to happiness.”

Roundabout. 

“So when the girl you’ve been chasing, for what feels like an eternity, finally gives you a second chance, you absolutely cannot take it for granted. You grab onto that chance with both hands, and even your teeth if you have to. It’s no guarantee for happiness, but it’s your best bet.”

Unpredictable. 

“I’m not a God-fearing man, but I’m a God-believing man. I thank God everyday for bringing such a magnificent woman into my life.”

He raised his glass. 

“Joy, you make me the happiest person in the world, and I can’t wait to be married to you.”

The crowd broke into warm applause as Doyoung finished off his impromptu speech by planting a kiss on his bride-to-be.

“He’s so good at talking,” you mused, wrapping your arm around Jaehyun’s. “If that’s his toast for this, I wonder what his vows will be like.”

A year ago, you would never have believed that you’d be attending your co-worker’s engagement party, much less with your ex-boyfriend who you hadn’t seen in 5 years. Spring had well and truly arrived, and with it came promises of love and new beginnings. The last rays of the April afternoon sunlight filtered through the windows of the riverside art centre. The venue was gorgeous, floating on the edge of the river with unobstructed views of the skyline and where it met the water — as always, Joy knew how to pick a spot.

“I didn’t know she rejected him before they got together. He must have really liked her.”

Jaehyun gave you a crooked smile. “Four years of university, and he never gave up. Even when she started dating that blockhead from liberal arts.”

“I bet he would’ve felt like the luckiest guy in the world when she finally said yes to a date,” you said, watching as the happy couple shared a moment, giggling about something nobody else was privy to. Jaehyun followed your gaze and made a small noise of agreement.

“Not as lucky as I am to have found you again.”

He ran his thumb across your knuckles. You could’ve sworn there was stardust sprinkled into those pretty brown eyes of his.

Life was a funny thing, for sure. It had a funny way of bringing back things you once thought you had lost forever. You knew now that you had to seize them before they passed by. Who knew if they’d ever turn up again?

“Okay, that’s enough.”

Jungwoo set his glass down on the table with a loud thunk, lightly startling you.

“I’m right here. You guys know that, right? I am right in front of you.”

A sheepish smile was thrown his way. “Sorry.” You patted his hand once, softly. “Your time will come, I’m sure of it,” you reassured. “How did the date with the KU Business girl go?”

“I flaked,” Jungwoo said simply.

“No! Why?”

He sighed. “Blind dates are really not my thing. It’s too awkward. And it feels so superficial. Like, what if you have nothing in common, or there’s no physical attraction, or—” 

Jungwoo paused, cutting himself off. “Actually, I’m not talking about this with you people. I’m going to get another drink.” With that, he turned and headed straight for the cocktail bar. You and Jaehyun gazed at him from behind as he walked off.

“I’m gonna be babysitting him again tonight, aren’t I?” Jaehyun asked, the question directed at nobody in particular.

“People are going to start wondering if you’re dating me or him.”

His mouth curled into a smirk. “Should I give them a reminder?”

“My boss is standing right over there, so no.”

Junmyeon and Irene were still going steady, to your surprise. You’d probably be seeing more and more of him, since Joy and the rest of the Parks genuinely treated Irene like one of their own. The thought wasn’t exactly a pleasant one, but not awful either. Maybe you were warming up to him.

“Also, you should probably be careful about who you call blockhead,” you said to Jaehyun, holding back a smile.

He fixed you with a suspicious stare. “And what’s that supposed to mean?”

“You know,” you trailed off, gesturing vaguely at his head. The smile broke through, your cheeks lifting as you tried to keep the laughter from coming out. He, on the other hand, was thoroughly unimpressed.

“You should really watch your mouth,” he said lowly, though he was smiling. There was a look in his eyes that sent a jolt straight to the pit of your stomach.

“Or what?”

His hands were all over you before you even made it through the door.

“My beautiful, gorgeous, sexy girlfriend,” he mumbled, peppering your neck with kisses between each adjective. The keypad finally beeped and you pushed down on the handle, letting the door swing open as you pulled him in by the collar.

“Stop talking and just kiss me,” you sighed, dragging his face back up to yours. He was all too eager to comply, mouth slotting over yours with practised ease. His tongue brushed along yours in the way he knew you liked, pulling your bottom lip into his mouth with just the right amount of pressure. Fire licked at your insides as he drew a light moan from you.

Four months in, the second time around, and everything with Jaehyun was still electrifying.  

Your hands fumbled with the buttons on his shirt, finally succeeding with undoing the top one after a few tries. Hands came up around the back of your thighs, lifting you up onto his kitchen countertop. The marble was cool to the touch, and you felt it through the silk of your dress, a soft gasp of surprise flying from your mouth into his awaiting one.

“Been wanting to do this all day, ever since you put this thing on,” Jaehyun rasped. The heat of his body radiated into you from where he stood between your parted legs. He was so warm up against you, and he smelled so good, you were positively light-headed with desire.

His mouth ghosted over the shell of your ear, sending a shiver through you. “You look so fucking good,” he said, teeth gently grazing the skin of your neck. “My pretty girl.” The quick press of his hips into yours pulled another moan out of you, and you braced a hand against the marble countertop.

Your fingers knocked against the edge of something sharp and sent it tumbling to the floor, where it landed with a heavier thud than you were expecting.

“What was that?” you forced out in between gasps. Jaehyun’s teeth nipped at your collarbone, showing no signs of letting up. “Wait, Jae, something fell on the floor.”

You had smashed a mug in your apartment in the midst of it once. Better safe than sorry.

Reluctantly, Jaehyun detached himself from you and bent down to retrieve the fallen item. He was breathing hard as he picked up a thick, padded envelope, and flipped it over to read the details.

“Photos,” he finally managed, tossing the package back onto the counter. “We can look at them later.”

His mouth was on you again, working at the spot between your neck and shoulder that always had your knees weak and toes curling. 

“Wait,” you giggled, “my film photos? I want to see.” He had sent the camera off almost two weeks ago, and you had been (im)patiently waiting for the developed pictures to be sent back. 

Jaehyun looked up at you with hooded eyes. “Really? You want to look at them now?”

You nodded. 

A beat passed before his face broke into a lazy smile. 

“Okay,” he chuckled softly, reaching for the envelope again. 

There was a good stack in there. The ones on top were more recent, with a few shots from his birthday that had recently passed. You had taken him ice skating at the outdoor rink atop Namsan Mountain. The twinkling lights that hung from the trees surrounding the rink were still beautiful, even through photos. Jaehyun was good at so many things that it was unfair — how could he be so talented and have a face like that? — but on that day, you discovered that ice skating was not one of his strengths, and the bruises on his tailbone could attest to that. 

“The colouring on these is really nice,” you murmured, flicking through the photos.

He hummed. “They are. This place doesn’t over-saturate the images, which is why I like them.”

A few more pictures from Christmas, where the two of you had set up a pillow fort — it had always been a childhood dream of yours — and stayed in watching movies for three whole days because it was too cold to do anything that required leaving the house. Funnily enough though, you had spent New Year’s Eve out in the cold with a few thousand others, waiting for the annual fireworks. There were a few shots of those as well. 

You neared the bottom of the stack, recognising the blur of colours that formed the crowd of the jazz festival from last year.

“All of these are out of focus,” you complained, a pout adorning your lips. The shots of the stage, of the artists, even the one of Jaehyun and the cute face he made trying to fit the burger in his mouth. Only the two pictures of you were crisply defined, because he had taken them. 

You flipped to the last photo. It was the one you took at the end of the show, during the closing bars of Lauv’s set. Miraculously, this one was in focus. You could see the press of your cheek against Jaehyun’s, and the slight surprise in his eyes as you had clicked the shutter. Lauv was nowhere to be seen, but maybe a clear shot of him as well would have been asking for too much. 

“Can I say something cheesy?” Jaehyun asked softly. 

“You’ll say it anyway.”

“I really wanted to kiss you. On this day.”

Strange, that it was these words which brought heat to your cheeks. Surely there were other things that would be more appropriate to blush about, instead of a months-late admission that was degrees more innocent than your current situation, where Jaehyun’s shirt was half undone, and the fabric of your dress was bunched up around your hips. 

“I wanted to kiss you right there, in the crowd. And then I wanted to kiss you again, here, when you made that stupid ramen joke. And when you had that chilli flake stuck on the corner of your mouth.”

You set the last photo down on the counter and turned back to Jaehyun, who was still standing between your knees. 

“And how about now?” you asked, the corners of your mouth lifting in a teasing smile. 

He cradled your chin, tilting your face towards his, and let the pad of his thumb brush over the swell of your bottom lip. 

“I think you already know the answer to that.”

The crescent moon was high and luminescent in the sky when you caught your breath again, the last few waves of euphoria ebbing away through your body. Jaehyun always indulged you.

Maybe a little too much. 

You turned to him, nestling your face into the crook of his neck and breathing in the scent of soap and his skin. A finger lazily traced over the ridges of his stomach. 

“That tickles,” he mumbled into your hair. It must’ve still been damp from the shower, but he didn’t seem to mind. Fatigue was already tugging away at him. 

“Do you want me to stop?” you asked softly, looking up at him. 

He shook his head, just slightly. “I like knowing you’re there.”

You resumed your movements, but it was only a few seconds before Jaehyun was shifting, soft laughs filling the intimate space of his bedroom.  

“That really does tickle,” he said, smile threaded into his voice. One of his hands reached for yours, pulling it up to rest against his chest. The gentle press of his lips on your forehead was a delicate thing. 

You fell asleep like that, feeling the steady beat of his heart, quiet and sure beneath your fingertips. It was warm in his hold, and safe. There was no other home you needed to know.

[ihavethedreamies]

First Kisses | NCT 127

NCT 127 - All Members

Rating: E for Everyone

Word Count: About 300 for each, so about 2.4k total

Pairing: NCT 127 x GN!Reader (Separate)

Genre: Reader-Insert, Drabble, Fluff

Summary: Your first kiss with each member of NCT 127!

Author's Note: I have never wrote drabble-length things before, so I am proud of myself I kept these so short.

I tried to keep these gender-neutral, so let me know if I didn't, but it might still be slightly implied in these the reader is AFAB, I don't think so though…

PS. Mark's and Haechan's are different from the ones for Dream…

Edited (8/28/24)

-> NCT Dream <-

-> WayV <-

I am cross-posting this on Archive and Wattpad. Please reblog! If you know anyone that would like this or future fics but they aren't on here my name and icon are exactly the same on the other sites. Happy reading!

Taeyong

You chewed lazily on a strand of licorice, chest pressed to the back of the chair Taeyong stole from Doyoung's room. While you were by no means a noob when it came to video games, you knew little about battle royale shooters. However, Taeyong wanted you to watch while he played. You didn't mind, you constantly watched YouTube games, but not games like that. Not really caring about what he was doing, you found your gaze drifting to his face. He really was so freaking gorgeous. "Did you see that?" His question snapped you out of your daze and you quickly looked back at the screen. Replying with a vague hum in agreement, the pause menu flashed over his screen. "You okay?" Taeyong turned to you fully, looking over your face. "Y-yeah, why?" "You're really quiet today, you normally comment more." "Oh, yeah, just…thinking." "About what?" HIs foot rested on the base of your chair, pulling it closer, only the backrest between you two. HIs concerned look had morphed into something more playful. You licked your lips, trying to think of a lie, not about how hot he was. You tried not to reel back when he brought his face closer. Why was your friend so- "Thinking about kissing me?" He smirked and your face erupted into a blush. You nearly went cross-eyes when he leaned in, "Hm?" You took the chance, closing the distance, softly pressing your lips to his. He smiled against it, kissing you back, deepening it. When you separated, his fond smile floored you. "Been thinking about that awhile."

Johnny

You could feel his eyes on you, but you chose not to acknowledge it. Continuing to chop up the various ingredients for the fried rice you were preparing, his eyes followed. But he wasn't watching what you were doing, Johnny was staring at your face. Why? You weren't for sure. "Everything okay?" You finally asked him. "Yeah, why?" He rested his chin on his palm. "You're staring. Again." "You're just so pretty." Johnny smiled. It wasn't his, 'I'm sexy and I know it,' smile; it was warm and soft. Like when he sees a puppy; it was pure. That's what threw you off. To the point that you halted all action, paddle held over the steaming rice in the cooker. "Huh?" "You're beautiful." He had no room to talk. "Is that why you've been staring at me?" "Of course." You balked at his response. Your friend was an amazing flirt, but that's not what he was doing. He said it like he was informing you of something you should already know. "You think I'm beautiful?" You put the rice paddle down. Johnny sighed dramatically, getting up off the stool, coming around the counter to your side. He cupped your cheek in his big hand, and before you could question him further, he leaned down and kissed you. Johnny swallowed your gasp, deepening the kiss. You gaped at him when he pulled away. "(Y/N), you're the most beautiful person I have ever seen." He had no room to talk.

Yuta

Your eyes fluttered open, trying to recognize where you were. The TV was on, the sequel to the movie you had put on playing. Still trying to form a coherent thought, you heard a soft grumble behind you, an arm wrapping tighter around your middle. This sensation brought a flood of recognition over your mind, realizing you were in Yuta's living room. You must have fallen asleep together on the couch. You startled when you felt him sigh behind you, his warm breath ruffling the hair on the back of your neck. The arm of his you were laying on moved under your head as he brought his hand up. Yuta's hand rested on your forehead, which he used to pull you back into him more along with the arm around your waist. "It's late, just stay the night here." His voice was rough from sleeping. Were you two dating? Pretty much. But sleeping over? You haven't even kissed yet, still transitioning from friends to something more. "Stay over?" We haven't even kissed yet." You huffed, letting out a nervous chuckle. Yuta hummed in response, then your view of the room spun as he rolled you to face him. You barely got to see his cocky, smug grin before he closed the distance, lips sealing over yours. When Yuta pulled back, you whined in protest, making him chuckle. "There, now you can stay over."

Doyoung

You shuffled out of your room, rubbing sleep out of your eyes. The morning light shining in your room had no access to your living room, keeping it dark. Your guest was still asleep, wrapped in your spare comforter on your couch. Smiling to yourself, you padded softly toward him, sitting on the floor to get a better view. It was late after you two finished your dinner and movie date, so you let Doyoung stay the night. Ever the gentleman, he insisted on the couch. You smiled, only his face was visible out of the blanket cocoon. So cute. You felt a bit like a creep, just watching him sleep, but he was just too precious. Gently, you brushed some errant hairs from his forehead, looking at every detail of his face. Flinching back when he groaned a bit, you held your breath, worried you had wakened him. "(Y/N)?" His voice was quiet, eyes still closed, you didn't know if he was still asleep or not. "Yes?" You whispered in reply. When he didn't respond back, you assumed he was still asleep, or had fallen back to sleep. Carefully getting up so you could let him continue, you yelped dramatically when his hand grabbed yours, yanking you down onto the couch with him. He had sat up as he pulled you down, so you ended up in his lap. Doyoung wrapped his arms around you, laying his head on your shoulder, cheek on your collarbone. "Morning, precious." You kissed the crown of his head. He pulled back after this, frowning slightly. Before you could ask him what was wrong, he clicked his tongue, kissing you back, but on the lips instead. When he retreated, he flashed a sleepy grin. "Morning, love."

Jaehyun

Slamming the door to your car, you sat back in the seat with a huff, fuming. You thought girls bullying other people over boys stopped in high school, yet here you were, in college. You know about Jaehyun's not so little fan-club but had been able to avoid them. But they had learned that not only were you two friends, that there was something more going on there. God forbid they learn how long it had been going on. Not wanting to drive while angry, you just sat in your car. You jumped when your phone started to ring through the car speaker when you started it. "Hey." Your voice was obviously strained. "Where are you?" Jaehyun sounded out of breath. "In my car-" "Don't go anywhere." He hung up. You blinked in shock at the call-ended flashing on the screen. Your attention was pulled away by someone knocking on the window. It was some girl, and two others were behind her, arms crossed. You sighed, rolling the window down just enough. "You're (Y/N)?" You hummed and she scoffed. "You need to leave Jaehyun alone-" "And you need to leave." You sighed as he arrived, opening the passenger side door. After he was seated, you pulled out of the parking spot, leaving the girls gaping. Neither of you said anything till you parked again at your apartment complex. He took your hand in his, "I'm sorry." You met his guilty gaze, then shook your head. "It's not your fault." He stroked the back of your hand with his thumb. Instead of replying, he leaned over the center console, capturing your lips with his. You smiled when he pulled back, "do that again and we'll call it even." So, he did.

Jungwoo

The show playing was one you had seen many times before, but since Jungwoo never had, you were rewatching it with him. Your elbow was rested on the armrest of the couch, cheek resting on your fist. Your other hand was stroking Jungwoo's soft hair as he laid on your lap. He was getting over being sick, but since you were the one who gave him the cold, you didn't mind him being all over you. He was normally clingy, let alone if he didn't feel good, like a small child. It was fine to you though; he was too cute to not let him get away with just about anything. "(Y/N?)" His soft voice was still a bit nasally. "Yes?" "I'm sorry I ruined out first date…" "What do you mean?" Your hand halted, looking down at him. He rolled over so he was laying on his back, letting him look up at you. "I nearly passed out when we were walking to the restaurant…" He drifted off, fingers coming up to nervously fiddle with your hoodie string. "Jungwoo, you had a fever, its fine." You huffed, shocked that he felt guilty about that. You were the one that got him sick. "Still… We had finally decided to go for it, then…" "Jungwoo-" He continued to ramble, apologizing, and complaining about himself. It was getting on your nerves, there was no reason for him to feel so bad. Wanting him to stop, you leaned down, lips briefly pressing to his still moving ones. You sat back up straight, face pink from the act. His was as well, but it already was from the cold he had. You flinched when his hand rested on your cheek, pulling you back down. "I can’t give this cold back to you, right?"

Mark

"Can I get this?" Mark asked, coming up to you with a frozen cheesecake. You glanced at it, not liking that he asked you as if you were his parent. "Sure? Why are you asking?" You shook your head as he put the dessert in the cart. "J-just making sure." You rolled your eyes, continuing down the aisle, glancing at your shopping list to make sure you got everything for the meal you were going to prepare. Having to buy enough food to feed nine ravenous young men was a little pricy, but everyone agreed to split the cost and send you the money, so it didn't matter what extra stuff Mark wanted. As you traversed the next aisle, you noticed his gaze focused on something on the shelf. He halted in front of it, so you turned to look at it. It was a candy necklace kit. "Let's do this!" He grabbed it and you chuckled, nodding for him to put it in the cart. "B-but just us…" He added and you raised your eyebrow. "Just us?" "Not the others. We can just make them for each other after they leave…" "You want to make me a necklace?" You teased, the tips of his ears turning red, his characteristic laugh leaving his lips. "Yeah… and I don't want you to eat it or take it off!" Mark's determined look went to your face, and you had a hard time not guffawing. "Okay, Mark." "I'm serious, don't take it off." He reiterated as you got in the car to head back to your place, the box in his hands. "I won't." "Promise?" He held out his pinky and you shook your head but completed the hand motion. Before you could your hand back though, he used your linked pinkies to haul you closer over the console, gently pressing his lips to yours. You sat back slowly, gaping at him, face equally as red. He raised an eyebrow.

Haechan

"I'm getting tired of this, (Y/N)." Donghyuck huffed at your side, and you tilted your head, confused. When he noticed your glance, he sighed, stopping. Holding your linked hands up between you two so they were in front of your face, he sighed. "This is about as far as we've gone." You looked around, wondering what the hell he was going on about, you were only halfway to his place. "This, (Y/N)." He shook your hands to draw your attention there. "What do you mean?" "We've only held hands! You've kissed my cheek and that’s about it! I'm tired of it!" If it wasn't for the silly whine of his voice, you would think him genuinely upset. "What are you getting at?" You continued your questions and he groaned; you were very smart for being so dense. "Kisses! I want you to kiss me!" Donghyuck whined louder, it nearly echoed off the stone walls of the back road you were walking. His frustration took you aback. "Why do I have to initiate?" You nearly shouted, annoyed with his dramatics. He immediately quieted, blinking at you, so very pretty- "Fine!" He yelled back and hauled you even closer with your linked hands, his soft lips touching your chapped ones. As soon as he tasted the lip balm you had put on just minutes earlier, he groaned and deepened the kiss. You squeaked a bit when your back hit the stone wall, trying to match his pace, but he was fervent. When he finally stepped back, you were almost panting. He nodded with a satisfied nod and continued on with your walk like he hadn't just swallowed your tongue.

-> NCT Dream <-

-> WayV <-

Master-Master List

NCT Master List

[strrykais]

lie with you - room for one more?

wc : 1220

what hyungseo said really had you in a weird place the rest of the night. you tried not to let the others know, you didn't want to ruin chenle's party.

you sat on the couch watching some of the guys play beer pong, you were drinking in hopes to forget that maybe you were actually a shit person. you never meant to hurt hyungseo and you never would of thought that the reason could be because you liked someone else. before you could even register what your mind just said you felt the couch slightly shift.

"hey mopey." taeyong says with a drunken grin.

"what do you want tae." you say rolling your eyes, placing the cup to your lips.

"i have to use the bathroom and you just so happen to be my chosen substitute." he says bouncing off the seat pulling at your arms.

"no no no i'm okay ask nayeon or mina i'm okay really." fighting his strength off. the battle between the both you stops when you see jisung in the corner of your eye. you quickly stand up cause taeyong to stumble at your actions.

"okay ill do it. lets go.'' you pull taeyong towards the table slotting yourself in between him and doyoung in hopes their height hid you.

"doyoung this is your partner, ill be right back." and with that you watch taeyong rush past the table in the direction of the bathroom.

you slowly turn to look up at doyoung giving him a smile, he returns it.

"ever played before?" he says handing you the pong ball. you take it and nod, doyoung steps back allowing you to put yourself in the middle of the table. with a deep breathe you aim at one of the red cups across the table ignoring the way mark and jenos face was eye level with the cups in hope to throw you off.

chunking the ball at the cups, it smacks right into the forehead of mark. hand clamping over your mouth to not burst out laughing.

you do hear doyoung laughing out loud, arm swinging over your shoulder.

"dude what the fuck? does my forehead look like a cup hole?" mark says rubbing the sore spot, as jeno is bend over laughing.

"you arent very good at this i see." doyoung say leaning down.

"no i am, i was just trying to use marks forehead as a backboard, as you can see it worked." you giggle out when you notice the ball actually made it into a cup. this caused the group to burst out even harder.

taeyong was gone for a while now, so you decided to play another round with the guys. you also noticed that jisung was not that far away from you talking to some people, sneaking glances at you. you were feeling really hot under his gaze. doyoung was able to sink the ball into the last cup. cheering out he wraps his arms around you picking you up and spinning you around. laughing out as he puts you down, you feel hand on the small of your back turning to see jisung smiling down at you.

"can i borrow her?" jisung asks doyoung who nods and walks out to mark.

"i wanna show you something." jisung says slipping his hands into yours and leading you up the stairs.

you only nod, heart pounding trying not to think of something unholy, you watch how he weaves his way through people and slowing pushing open a door, turning on the lights and gently gesturing for you to walk in first.

you slowly step in further taking in the simple decor. you walk towards the bedside table to see a picture of jisung and chenle when they were younger.

"this is chenles place?'' you ask, taking in the other photos around the room. jisung nods leaning against the door.

"yeah its his summer home, this would be my room when i would come stay with him." he says watching you walking around touching every little thing as to memorize it.

"you guys go way back i see." you smile as you stare at the photo him and chenle in basketball uniforms. cute. " what did you want to show me." you say looking back at him, watching as he reaches out turning off the lights.

letting your eyes adjust to the dark, you hear him say 'look up', when you do you smile at the little glow in the dark stars on the ceiling.

you felt him before you could see him, he slowly reached out to cup your face to face him. you were getting nervous, really, really nervous.

"i like you, like a lot. i think i always have this type of gravitational pull towards you and i could never understand why. and i think im finally to realize i was slowly falling for you. i know you just broke up with him and we can go slow i dont care as long as you can be mine.'' his voice was so sweet and soft and with every word he slowly bent down lips hovering over yours. "can i kiss you, please?"

he sounded so desperate, you don't know what came over you when you mumble out a yes smacking your lips straight into his.

jisung felt like he was dreaming, he never kissed a girl that he liked this much, it was euphoric. you hands reach up to grip at his hair causing him to let out a little groan, using this opportunity to stick your tongue into his mouth. jisung reaches down behind your thigh, understanding you jump up wrapping your legs around his torso.

jisung leads you both to the bed, both continuing to make out. needing air you pull back watching him as he gently lays you down on your back. going straight to your neck leaving kisses and nipping at it. jisung was trying so so hard to not bust right this second, he never realized how much you had this effect on him. pushing himself back jisung reaches behind his head pulling off his shirt throwing it across the dark room.

you lean up running your hands from his abs up to his chest and finally his shoulders pulling him down on you. jisung kisses your lips softly, playing with the hem of your shirt.

"take it off jisung please." your breathy voice, was all jisung need before he started lifting your shirt up, teasingly slow.

"yo jisung you in her-" the door swings open revealing a very shocked donghyyuck. jisung quickly pulls down your shirt back down as you stare shockingly at hyuck. the dropped jaw slowly turns to a wide smirk.

"and i wasn't invited this is fake as fuck, got room for one more?" he says as jisung grabs a pillow chunking it towards donghyuck who quickly shuts the door before it can hit him.

jisung sighs letting his head fall onto your chest as you pet his head.

"we should probably stop. knowing him, he is probably listening." jisung says placing a kiss on your forehead pulling you up.

"no im not.'' you hear hyucks muffled voice behind the door and jisung threw another pillow at it.

jisung stares at you reaching out to fix your messed up hair.

''so pretty."

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a/n : they kissseddddd :0 i was gonna do more but i realized i could not :p also in the next couple of chapters time is passing, you can tell with the dates on tweets :)

tags : @onlyhyunjin @nctjunie @sunghoonsgfreal @neozon3nha @mystverse @multifandomania @joyzluvr @222brainrot @mmjhh1998 @yyangj3lly @choibeommie @hyuck-me @dudekiss3r @somerandomf1fan

[jenosbliss]

Hi could I request 5 & 19 with Doyoung for female reader please? 😋

pairing. fem!reader x coworker!doyoung | genre. fluff | wc. 1.3k | warnings. none

a/n. hey anon, hope you like this one!

The clock strike 11.09 pm when you clicked the shutdown tab on your P.C. sighing in relief as your work for today and this week was finally over, so you can spend your weekend peacefully now. No more calls to answer, files to go through, screen to stare at… just a weekend filled with sleeping in late, Netflix, junk greasy food, and calmness.

It was pretty late at night and way past working hours which meant that almost everyone on your floor had already left and the only source of light on the floor had been previously from your dimly lit screen and the night lights on the ceiling. There wasn’t a single sound on the floor except for your steps hurrying towards the elevator.

“Y/N? You’re working overtime again?” a deep voice from behind you asked. A voice which made your eye roll out of annoyance as if on cue. “Hello to you to Mr. Kim. And yes, I am working overtime again. Are you surprised?” turning around scoffed at his fake concern. Both of you were now waiting for the elevator.

“Amused. I thought after becoming the head of R&D you’ll cut some slack… guess I was wrong.” he whispered the last part right above your ear, heat spreading to your cheeks at this action of his. “You’re becoming quite bold nowadays” chuckling nervously as you took a step away from him. A smirk unbeknownst to you adorning his lips at your nervousness.

“Guess I’m following in your steps. You’re working overtime too.” Your eyes searched his tired face as you waited for a reply, he looked worn out and eye bags under his eyes reflected the lack of sleep in his daily routine. His skin also looked paler than usual and- why the hell am I noticing so much?

“Well…yes but it’s not because of work.” He turned his head to look down at you sideways. The look in his eyes made you even more nervous, you felt like a prey, and he was the predator ready to pounce at you any moment. It was hot, hell he was hot, the hottest man alive…get yourself together y/n! 

The safe distance you had created between both of you was intruded by him as shifted closer to you, eyes not leaving for a moment. “What man in his right senses would work overtime without any reason?” opting to sarcasm was your defence mechanism, ever in a situation you can’t escape? Be sarcastic or so you thought because what Doyoung said next made your eyes almost pop out.

“Who said I’m in my senses? For a while now I am going insane because of you-” he was interrupted mid-sentence when the elevator doors opened, and you almost jumped inside. “It’s here!” To say the least, Doyoung was disappointed with the timing of the elevator and how you avoided him in the elevator as if he was a stranger.

“Will you please stop staring?” you had tried your best to ignore him but just couldn’t. “Why? Does it make you nervous when I stare?" A devilish grin made its way to his lips, contented with the effect he had on you. “Doyoung please! What’s gotten into you? Did the work toll on your mental health or what? You weren’t like this before.”

A childish glint appeared in his eyes at the mention of the name. Not Mr. Kim or Sir but Doyoung, he never liked the sound of his name like this before. “I was always like this, it’s just you took time to notice.” again he shifted closer to you making you trapped between him and the wall.

“I’m done okay, do whatever you want.” his laugh reverberated throughout the small space as you scoffed. “Sorry, let’s change the topic.” “Thank you.”

“I liked hanging out with your friends the other day.” he confessed out of the blue. It has been three weeks since that unfortunate event and he just had to bring that up now?

Liked meeting your friends even if you had asked him not to? Accepted he meant no harm and was there just to return the pen drive you left behind but his presence and the tension between both of you had led your friends to assume there way more to the relationship you strictly labelled as coworkers.

“I’ll let them know.” you answered in a monotonous tone. “By the way, that Kiho guy… are you two seeing each other?” baffle would be a predicament to his statement, you were shocked. Firstly, because who was he to ask such a personal question, and secondly how could he think you would date Kiho? 

You had better type than Kiho, and thought Doyoung must be aware that he’s someone you’re interested in- what? Is this the moment of realization for me? WHAT!? 

“No, we’re just friends, not even best friends.” you explained while trying to not focus on the feelings which were surfacing for the man beside you. “You know he was being very touchy and flirty considering you’re just friends.” maybe you’re being delusional or was Doyoung actually jealous?

“It’s because he’s single and we met for the first time after long that he suddenly found me attractive to be his girlfriend. You know Glow Up.” You chuckled, remembering his behaviour during the hangout. “Didn’t he have eyes to see your beauty?” Doyoung grumbled. “I- did you just call me beautiful?” unable to believe your ears you questioned. “Pretty cannot define your beauty because everything about you is beautiful.” 

“Are you doing drugs?” you laughed walking out of the elevator. “Y/n believe me, I saw your college pics, your friend showed them to me while you were away and if I had been there… I would have fallen in love with you way earlier.”

“You can’t be serious right now…” it was happening, Doyoung was confessing his love for you, something –no matter how much you try to deny– you waited for all these days. “Do you trust me?” you nodded your head as he pulled you closer to him, a hand resting on your back while he gently placed the other on your cheek, his breath hot on your face.

“Then trust me in showing you how beautiful you are. I’m so thankful to Kiho and every other guy who didn’t see you the way I do, because I can’t risk losing you. Trust me y/n in worshipping you and loving you. Will you trust me?” he was holding himself from showing you just how much he loved you, how he had loved you all this time, he waited for so many days, but these few seconds felt the longest.

“I trust you.” the moment you said this, Doyoung didn’t even waste a heartbeat before he kissed you, pulling you even closer than before, if that was possible. He kissed you with passion, lips against yours in a heated deep kiss, just perfectly showcasing his undying love for you.

You were the first one to break the kiss in order to breathe but he chased after your lips, laughing as you placed a hand on his chest “Leave something for tomorrow.” He placed a delicate kiss –unlike the previous one– on your forehead before pulling you in a hug.

“I have to make up for all the days I was supposed to be kissing you” he kissed the top of your head as you hid your face in his chest trying to hide the blush. “Are you free tomorrow?” he asked, running his hand through your hair. “Why? Are you gonna kiss me all day?” 

“Hmm… doesn’t sound like a bad idea but I was thinking about going on a date.” perking your head up you smiled, “This is the perfect idea.” he leaned down to kiss you again as he whispered, “I love you.”

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100 followers event 🌷

[chocojae]

𝐒𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍 𝐒𝐈𝐆𝐍𝐒 — kim doyoung

summary ▸ seven signs you are in love according to not so love expert, kim doyoung ft. a tired and frustrated kun

genre ▸ doyoung x female reader | pure fluff | university au 

word count ▸ 3.2k

warnings ▸ none! 

luna’s note ▸ hello @beautifulchris​ ! I am your author for the exchange event held by @kflixnet​! i enjoyed writing this piece and really hope you will like this ♡ since the event’s main motive was to be friends, i hope we can get to know each other!

ONE: YOUR DAY STARTS AND ENDS WITH YOU THINKING ABOUT THEM.

Doyoung’s eyes widen as he notices the words he just scribbled on his notebook. He was spacing out in the lecture hall, and guess what he wrote? Your name, once again. 

It astonished Doyoung when he realised just how much he has been thinking about you these past few days. 

When he got to learn that you have a (secret) crush on him, all he did was think about you and notice your likes and dislikes. From him eating his breakfast and getting reminded (out of nowhere) that you love cats to him putting on an outfit of your favourite shade because you like that colour, his life was suddenly revolving around you.

It bugged him that it was you who occupied his mind 24/7 when it should have been his studies. Lately, he gets on his bus every day thinking if you would attend today or not and can’t help but get a little disappointed when he notices your absence. 

Something is wrong with him, but what? It’s the question that messes his mind the most. Doyoung angrily stabs the paper with frustration, his mind running a thousand miles per second, trying to figure out what could be the possible cause of his sudden curiosity and then his face suddenly drops. A tiny voice in his head whispers: You couldn’t like her back, could you?

Doyoung shakes his head violently, trying to shush the tiny voice. Through the corner of his eye, he looks at you for a split second. Right, there was no freaking way he possibly could.

Fine, Doyoung takes back whatever he said a few hours prior. There might be a possible, tiny, tiny chance that he might like you, romantically. 

He stares at your laughing figure for a little longer than he would before tearing his eyes off you, gulping soon after. God, why wasn’t he able to look away? Sure, you are attractive and kind but does he really like like you? Like as in a boy liking a girl? That type of like? 

He presses his lips into a thin line and steals another glance, soon feeling his cheeks burn up. Shit, have you always been that pretty?

“I don’t think this tragic piece of literature is supposed to be making you blush, Doyoung.” Kun squints his eyes at the younger male sitting beside him, noticing how Doyoung looked completely taken aback by his comment. 

Wait, Doyoung was blushing? BLUSHING? Now, that was unexpected. Doyoung cleared his throat, running a hand through his hair. “Yeah, I know. It’s just the weather. You know how hot it can get in summers here.”

Kun squinted his eyes, not satisfied with the so called answer. There was no way he was buying the “reason” Doyoung was beetroot red. It was a white lie. Sure, he agrees that summers are hot in here but with all the fans and air conditioners present and just a simple black t-shirt thrown over him, Doyoung couldn’t possibly be reddening because of it.

“Are you sure you were not checking out someone and blushing?” Kun asks with suspense laced through his words, crossing his arms and giving a look that indicated he was ready to hear the tea. 

“Jesus, no!” Doyoung responds immediately. Hey, it was the truth. He wasn’t checking you out or something, he was just glancing at you. Glancing. There’s a difference, okay?

“Sure.” Kun shrugged, not convinced and continued his explanation, hoping Doyoung would get whatever he was trying to make him understand. Doyoung slumped down on the table, Kun’s words becoming white noise to him. With his head resting on his arm, he dragged his eyes towards you. Hell, you look absolutely breathtaking—

Here he goes thinking about you once again, not like he could help it.

TWO: YOUR EYES ALWAYS SEEM TO SEARCH FOR THEM.

Considering that he thinks about you most time of the day, it should have been natural for Doyoung to accept that he likes stealing glances at you. It would have been easy if that was the case. But it’s not.

Every single time he is reminded about you or glances at you, Doyoung tries to convince himself that he does not like you. It is tiring, very tiring since he thinks about you so much that it makes him frustrated.

If he would tell someone about this train of thoughts running through his head, he is one hundred one per cent sure that it would conclude he likes you. 

The thought that he might have harboured feelings for you, for unacceptable for him.

He chose to ignore those confusing feelings, shoving them aside. But what he couldn’t control was the way his eyes always gravitated towards you, taking his time to adore you like you were his love interest in some cheesy romance novel. 

You looked so ethereal in his eyes, so beautiful that he believed you were the most beautiful person to exist. 

He sneaked glances at you now and then and most of the time, you were already looking at him. So when he looked back to admire you out of nowhere, you both were caught off guard and turned away in a beat at being caught.

 Kun, who observed this quite often, found it pretty cute and enjoyed teasing Doyoung about this. Doyoung would shake his head, saying he was just spacing out and it was not what Kun thinks. But Kun could see how just two seconds after calling him out, Doyoung’s gaze was fixated on you once again.

THREE: YOU RANDOMLY START PICKING UP THEIR HOBBIES.

Seriously, painting and Doyoung? 

Doyoung looks around helplessly in the room filled with what seemed like skilled and passionate students. They all seemed so focused and determined, unlike him who stood there awkwardly, face laced with confusion.

Doyoung should have been studying in the library for the upcoming exam, or doing his laundry that has stacked up for about two weeks now. He should have been anywhere but here, occupied with the set of brushes he has no idea how to use.

Painting never once intrigued Doyoung, so why was he here? Answer: For you.

Through his secret source obviously Kun, he found out you liked to paint in your free time. 

To Doyoung, painting was something uninteresting but since you liked it, he was adamant to try it out as this would mean him finally having a common topic to start a conversation with you.

In the past two months, Doyoung got so frustrated with himself that he accepted he liked you, and yes, romantically. He disclosed this to Kun, who didn’t waste a single second to tease Doyoung by revealing he already figured out his “secret” long ago by the way he gawked at you.

And the more Kun teased him, the more Doyoung’s feelings grew and so did his desire to get to know you.

He wanted to start a conversation multiple times but the blush on his cheeks whenever he was with you prevented him from doing so. Doyoung did draft the convo scenes with you in his head, preparing different things to say based on your supposed replies in his imagination.

But to actually start a conversation with you was hard. His mind just goes blank whenever he decides to start a small talk with you, and the script he had prepared for weeks in his head, gets blurry. He stammers, and he blushes. 

You too, wanted to talk to him and spend some time together but you didn’t have the courage to. He made you feel so euphoric, it was hard to focus on anything else, including your words.

FOUR: YOU GET FLUSTERED AROUND THEM.

Doyoung’s standing behind you. You are standing in front of him. The proximity is so close that Doyoung could catch the faint smell of your perfume lingering over him. 

Kun nudges Doyoung from behind, leaning in and whispering. “You are red like a tomato. Don’t be this obvious.” Doyoung nods. He could feel the loud thumping of his stupid heart and is doing everything in his power to avoid looking at you, not because he doesn’t want to glance at you, but because he knows his heart will beat louder the more he will look at you.

What Doyoung didn’t notice was the way you were being a mess too. Eyes roaming everywhere in nervousness, cheeks painted pink and your friends passing you a teasing look.

You are so sure that Doyoung knows you have a little crush on him, and that didn’t bother you— until now. Because he is behind you, just behind you. The prettiest and kindest man (with utterly attractive hands and a honey like voice) you have ever known is behind you. Your freaking crush is behind you.

It feels awkward, nervous and exciting all at the same time and the adrenaline rushing through your system makes you go numb. Do you look good? Is your hair alright? What about you back? Oh, you should have taken your roommate’s advice and done some back exercises so you weren’t regretting right now. And what about your perfume? Is it still there? What if Doyoung doesn’t like scents?

The train of thought was never ending, and Doyoung could relate too. He should’ve worn something more presentable. The tray in his hands was shaking. Why the hell did Kun pushed him to stand next to you?

“I hate you, Kun.” Kun raised an eyebrow at his words, a small smirk adoring his face as he answered back. “But you also love me for this.” 

Doyoung bit back a smile. Kun just knows him too well.

FIVE: YOU GET (UNNECESSARILY) WORRIED ABOUT THEM.

Doyoung has no right to worry about you but it’s the third day he hasn’t seen your pretty face and it’s making him nervous. What if something happened to you? Or what if you left the university?

Millions of baseless thoughts ran through his head, his body stiffening. You couldn’t have gotten sick, right?

But what if you did? Cold sweat broke out on his forehead at the mere thought. Doyoung’s ears perked up hearing the giggles of your friends and he looked at them curiously. 

Maybe he should ask them, but wait, wouldn’t it seem extremely suspicious when he would randomly ask about you? Screw it, he says to himself and marches towards your friends.

“Hi.” The sudden appearance of Doyoung made their giggles come to a halt and they were visibly confused. “So, I was saying that..” Shit, he can’t do it. 

“Do you have the notes from the previous lesson? I forgot to jot down mine!” He passes them an awkward smile, hoping they won’t catch his unusual behaviour. 

“Sure” One of the girls, which he vividly remembers seeing by your side the most, takes out a notebook from her bag, handing it to Doyoung with the same expression as earlier. “Here,” Doyoung mumbles a quiet thank you before completely disappearing. 

The girls, confused, shrugged their shoulders and decided to not think much, later joking about how you should have been there.

Doyoug gave Kun his best puppy eyes. “Please.” Kun sighed and asked, “Why can’t you do this?” 

“Because it would seem weird.” Kun raised an eyebrow at the reply. “And it wouldn’t when I will? 

“No, because even if it will do seem that way, you are not me. That’s why.”

“Your logic is so…….baseless.”

Doyoung clung onto his arm, swinging it in an attempt to persuade him. “Oh come one, please, please.” 

Kun closed his eyes. “I am deaf, I can’t hear anything.”

“Please, only you could save me from this misery.”

“Misery? Misery? You not being able to find out why Y/N has not been coming for three days has driven you into misery?” Kun’s voice was laced with sarcasm followed by an eye roll. “And FYI, I don’t even talk to Y/N that much.”

“Well, you can ask just out of curiosity. I am sure they would understand.”

“Then why can’t you do it?” 

“Because it feels weird!” 

“Just say you are shy.” 

“I am not!” 

“You are.”

“I am not, okay!?”

“Liar.”

“So?” Doyoung asks in anticipation, eyes full of hope darting at the tired Kun. “She is at her grandma’s. No big deal.” 

“That means she is okay, right?” Kun slumps down beside him. “Yeah, I guess.”

Doyoung glares at him. “What do you mean you guess? You didn’t ask?”

“Obviously dude, I am not her boyfriend or something!”

“You had one job. One.” 

“Not again.”

SIX: YOU PICK UP THEIR HUMOUR.

caution ▸ cringy dad joke ahead

Doyoung has been observing you every single time so it wasn’t long before he picked up your humour. You were the dad jokes type and while Doyoung wasn’t interested a bit in them, the humour grew on him and now he has made Kun’s life a little harder than it was before.

“Wanna hear a knock joke?” Doyoung grins at the annoyed Kun. 

“It’s not like I have a choice.” He mumbled. Doyoung cleared his throat, “Knock Knock.”

“Who’s there?”

“Nobel.” There was still that grin on his face when Doyoung waited for Kun to respond. “Ask Nobel who?”

Kun rolled his eyes. “Nobel, who?”

“No bell so I just knocked.” Doyoung bursts into fists of laughter and smacks Kun’s shoulder. “Be real, isn’t it funny?”

“It’s not—” Kun pauses sensing a glare thrown at him  “It’s so hilarious, I can’t even laugh!” Kun sends Doyoung a small, scared smile and releases a sigh of relief when Doyoung takes the comment as a positive one.

If Kun is going to stick around Doyoung who will find humour in dad jokes because of you, you both better get married for his unthinkable sacrifice. 

SEVEN: YOU IMAGINE A FUTURE WITH THEM.

Doyoung grasps the bouquet of flowers tight in his hands. He takes a deep breath, closing his eyes and calming his nerves down. 

You can do this, Doyoung! He says to himself, glancing at the flowers in his sweaty palms. He is finally doing this, Kim Doyoung is finally asking you out. Seems unreal, right? For Doyoung too.

He had never imagined he would ask you out, but here he is. 

He was smitten over you, everyone knew. You were referred to as his crush but that label soon was ripped away when Doyoung started seeing you in a new light. When everything about you seemed more lovely than it could ever be. When your flaws, which he had previously ignored seemed so perfect to him. When instead of getting all nervous and excited, he felt warmth and comfort from your presence.

The tag of a crush got removed and replaced by the one called love.

He imagined doing everything with you, going out on dates, meeting your family, late night celebrations, unexpected calls and what not. It become clear Kim Doyoung was in love with you. 

He had finally mustered up the courage to ask you out, for real. His heart was beating a thousand miles per second. He doesn’t know if you were ready for this, or even if you still had feelings for him but he was going to do it. It’s now or never.

Doyoung had called you in a cafe near by, and as much as you were puzzled, you were internally screaming. You were attracted to him, no doubt. He was kind, he was cute. He was everything you looked for in a man. So when you met Doyoung with a bouquet of flowers in his hands and cheeks flushed red, your heart beat synced with his, uncontrollable and messy. Your palms become sweaty as you sat down opposite him.

“Hi, how have you been?” You asked, a smile spread across your lips. The talk started off great. It seemed so pleasant and comfortable with Doyoung and you wished you could stop time. The moment felt surreal. 

Doyoung cleared his throat before scratching the back of his nape. “I don’t know how to say this, but I um….I…..like you.” Wait, he what??? “What?” 

“I like you.” Your eyes were about to pop off. Are you dreaming? Doyoung noticed your reaction and was quick to say, “We will pretend this never happened if you are not comfortable.”

“No—. Well, I— oh, god. I like you too.” Dooung blinked a few times. Okay, what should he respond with now? 

“Here,” He handles the bouquet with utmost gentleness and care. His cheeks you red, and so were yours. 

“What I was saying is…..how about we get to know each other first? This would help us to decide if we want to become official or not.”

“Like, get to know each other on ‘dates’?” You asked with a broad smile.

“Yeah, small dates.” he smiled back and finally made eye contact and was washed over with the warmth that spread through his entire body. His shoulders relaxed and leaned in, ready to hear all about you. “So tell me about yourself, Y/N L/N.” You chuckled, the smile never leaving your lips.

You both were over the moon, and the memory easily become your and his favourite.

Doyoung smiled as he closed his diary. Reading his old entries, he felt nostalgic and happy. He glanced at your sleeping figure beside him. One thing that he had never ever regretted was loving you. He was grateful to have you by his side. 

You were his first love, and now, his wife. 

The diamond ring on your finger sparkled every so slightly in the dim light of your shared bedroom. Doyoung lay down on the bed beside you, staring at your sleeping face with a silly grin on his face.

It was your third wedding anniversary today and you being all excited and proud drank a little too much than you could handle,  knocking out soon after. Doyoung, being a smitten man for you found it hilarious, and adorable.

He tucked a strand of loose hair behind your ear and continued to look at you with fond eyes over flowing with love. He kissed your forehead. He loves you so much, and nothing can ever change that.

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luna’s note ▸ congrats for making it to the end of the story, i hope you enjoyed reading! thank you for taking out your time and giving a chance to this work ♡ as always, feeback is much appreciated! please share your thoughts as a a small feedback can change my day for the better and give me motivation to bring more of such stories to you.

you can find more of my posted works here and fic ideas here!

© chocojae 2023

[mayaflowerxs]

can we have a doyoung smut au from uu

THE ONE WHERE EVERYONE KNOWS

Synopsis: After accidentally being mistaken as your brother’s mother, you turn to your best friend for comfort never thinking it’d form into a one night stand. But what happens when it turns into something more? How long will the two of you manage to keep it a secret from your friends without anyone suspecting?

Warning: SMUT / Fluff / Humor. Swear word usage, best friends to lovers! Inspired by the show FRIENDS. Jealousy, secret lovers, + more

Pairing: Doyoung x f! Reader

MONDAY 3:24 A.M

The cool air slightly brushes past the warm skin of Haechan’s. Summer nearing along with its hot climate, he vouches to sleep with his windows open. But as he feels the cool breeze awake him from his slumber, he squints and hazily gets out of bed. Closing the glass window before making his way out of his bedroom to go straight for the bathroom.

What he didn’t expect was to find company in the kitchen. Lights still on,

“Y/n? Doyoung? What time is it?”

Too tired to realize the look of horror on their faces, a short pause as they try to come up with an excuse. And although Doyoung for the most part was too preoccupied having an internal panic attack you’re quick to speak up. “It’s 8 am!” “8?” Looking over to the nearest window, he points and looks over at you. “But it’s still dark outside?”

“That’s!…because you sleep til noon dummy!” Doyoung interjects. “Oh?…okay well I guess I’m going to start getting ready.” Making his way over to the bathroom and closing the door he fails to hear the sighs of relief. “That was too close.” You whisper to your best friend of 5 years. “I know I’m sorry I didn’t think he’d wake up, or anyone at that.” Grabbing your hand, he smiles softly and pulls you to the direction of his room. “How about some privacy…” he wigged his brows and smiles mischievously. “What about Hyuck?”

Momentarily letting go of your hand, he walks over to the door and opens to find his band mate passed out on the toilet. “I think we’re good.”

You’re relationship with Doyoung started about a month ago, but the situationship itself about two. It all began the day you’re brother got married. Although it ended in pure disaster, given the fact he said his ex’s name at the alter and now the bride had gotten awol you had been busy grumbling over the fact some random drunk had mistaken you for being your brother’s mom.

He assumed, you the sister, were the mother of your brother and to that resulted in you drinking your ass off for the remainder of the day. By the end of the night as your brother frantically searched for his now wife, you were merely caught in bed with none other than the family friend, both your guys best friend, Kim Doyoung.

What was meant to be a one night stand resulted in the two of you hooking up even after returning home and since then the two of you have been trying to keep it a secret. But as the time went by, it resulted in becoming a lot more difficult than one assumed.

The floor is yet again splattered with water, the tub is almost filled to the brim and the waves splashing back and forth it doesn’t help that your erratic movement doesn’t help prevent water from falling out of the tub. Hands gripping tightly around your torso as his eyes dilate the more he’s engulfed by lust. Groaning at the feeling of your tight walls wrapping him so nicely, tits bouncing in his face and the beautiful look of pleasure on your face only has him nearing his orgasm. Wrapping his arms around your waist, he pulls you up and begins to thrust up into you. The clapping, the splashing and the loud moans echo around the small bathroom. Anyone home can easily catch the two of you and yet your foggy minds don’t seem to care about the risks.

Of course, the two of you did make sure no one was home nor would they be coming home anytime soon and although it did seem odd how adamant Doyoung seemed to be when asking what his band mates plans were, he didn’t want to take any chances.

“Doie I’m so close!” Your mouth agape, eyes tightly shut as your hold on him gets tighter. Doyoung groans and nuzzles his face in your chest. Pressing wet kisses all over your chest and slightly nibbling as he continues to repeatedly fuck up into you.

Then the unexpected happened.

A loud slam is heard along with a chorus of laughs. Eyes widening, Doyoung is quick to help you get off him, tub filled with scented bubbles, candles lit around the rim and soft soothing music playing. There’s a sudden knock on the door, “Hey Doyoung you in there?” It’s Haechan, and you manage to succumb into the water and out of sight just in time when he opens the door and catches his friend in the bathroom by himself. At loss for words , eyes staring at the scene and then back to him his lips curl up into a sinister smile. “Whatcha doin…?” He eyes him, hair disheveled and slight bubbles can be seen. “I’ve had a long, hard day…”

Internally groaning when he sees Haechan take out his phone and proceed to take a picture, Doyoung grunts when he feels you kick him in the crotch to hurry it up. “Get out Hyuck!” “Alright! Geez, just came to ask if you wanted Chinese food.” “No! Now go!”

“You sure? We actually have some of that chicken on the stick we couldn’t find last time-“ “No and for the last time leave!” Rolling his eyes and pouting, Haechan closes the door behind him not before muttering god knows what under his breath. Grabbing your arms and pulling you out of the water, he brushes the bubbles out of your face. Eyes softened and sincerely apologizing, “I didn’t know they’d be back so soon, I tried to get him to leave but he kept asking if I wanted Chinese food.” At the mention of it, your head perks up. “Chinese? I can go for Chinese food.”

“Uh…okay, hey Hyuck!” Taking a deep breath before diving back into the tub, the door is opened a few seconds later. “Yeah?” “Can I get some of the take out with lemonade- AH! Pink Lemonade!” “Uh ok..”

And he closes the door.

HAECHAN

Out of all of the members, Haechan by far was the most oblivious one. He was the last to find out, the last to understand something and usually it’s because he just doesn’t pay attention to detail at all. But this was no longer the case, it seemed that every time the two of you tried to get some privacy he always managed to unknowingly intervene.

And to your surprise, the first to find out the truth.

The day of the bathtub fiasco occurred, you accidentally left your favorite scrunchie. Burgundy colored with slight fuzz, if it was anyone else they’d immediately know it’s yours. They know much just about the right amount when it comes to scrunchies and they know they have yet to see anyone have the same Burgundy soft hair band with your initials on it given your friend actually made it for you including eleven other custom made scrunchies. But then again this was Hyuck, confronting Doyoung with it in his hand, he doesn’t notice the alarmed look on Doyoung’s face nor the stuttering mess he’s become.

“It’s mine!” Scrunching his face, Haechan tilts his head and stares at his hair. “Yeah -“ taking the scrunchie out of his hand he goes to put his hair in a bun but it wasn’t long enough so only a few mere strands are actually wrapped around the material and stupidly as he looked, he took the pointing and laughs from his bratty friend and let him humiliate him by taking more embarrassing pictures of him. “So cute!” “Alright that’s enough.”

By the next day, the guys had decided their place was boring and so chose to visit you. On the rocking chair and watching Mark and Yuta try to tag team in COD, a disaster really given Yuta was too starstruck by Mark’s beauty to fully care he’s being killed every second.

Another loud huff is heard and it isn’t until Johnny speaks up does it catch Haechan’s attention. “What’s up y/n? You okay?” Seeing the frustrated look on your face, a slight frown on your face as you begin to disassemble the entire living room, even demanding Jaehyun to get off the couch so you can find whatever it was that you lost. “No,” you groan and continue to frantically search the couch.

“I can’t find my scrunchie.”

“But don’t you have like eleven other ones?”

“No I lost them all, this was my last one I can’t believe I’m so irresponsible to lose the scrunchies my friend custom made for me!”

“Alright, well which one was it.”

“You know which one it is Johnny.”

“The burgundy one with your initials?” “Yes.”

Letting the information set in, the realization soon dawns on the maknae. Eyes widening as he suddenly gasps loudly. Doyoung who had just entered at the end of your conversation, catches his friends reaction and proceeds to hurl over to him when he begins to point at the two of you. Not understanding the commotion, you look over and see Haechan continue to point between the two of you in utter shock. Seeing Doyoung pull him out of the living room, you’re quick to rush over to them and into the empty room furthest away from the guys. All whom which were left utterly confused.

“The hell’s wrong with them?” Taeyong asks who enters the room with a bowl of ramen.

“I bet they’re hanging out behind our backs and now have secret conversations.” Jungwoo answers that leaves the others feeling slightly offended and surprised.

Pushing Haechan onto the bed and locking the door behind you, Doyoung wraps a hand over his mouth to keep him from being too loud. “Yes..” he says slightly out of breath. Once he’s sure he’d stay quiet, he pulls away and watched the shock on his friend slowly simmer down. “W-When? Where? How? Why?” The last one was most directed to you which landed him a harsh smack on his arm. “Aish,” ignoring the glare on Doyoung’s face, you speak up.

“It happened in Tokyo-“ “IN TOKYO?!” “SHHH” receiving yet another slap, he winced and quiets down. “Oh my god this is huge news..I gotta tell someone-“ “No!” The two of you wrestle him back on the bed before he gets to reach the door knob, “We didn’t wanna tell anyone because it’s going so well right now so please Hyuck, keep quiet for us?” Looking over and seeing the two of you giving him puppy eyes he sighs and nods. “Alright, I’m so happy for you two! It’s about time.” Allowing him to pull the two of you in a hug, you sneak glances over to Doyoung and notice he was already staring at you. Completely forgetting Hyuck was right there, in between you two. He leans in and proceeds to kiss you- “Alright that’s gross! Jesus where’s the etiquette?” He pushes the two of you away from him.

TAEYONG

Having your second longest best friend finding out was also a mistake. You became friends with Taeyong around the same time as Doyoung, from the eighth grade to senior year the three of you were inseparable. You should’ve known you couldn’t keep secrets from him, not only did he know your tells, Doyoung also couldn’t keep a secret to save his life especially when it comes to his best friend.

After having Haechan promise he wouldn’t say anything, he agreed with a grumble but has been supportive of the two of you ever since. It felt good at least having someone the two of you can go to. And now when the two of you needed some alone time, you knew to count the maknae to pull through. But even though he was good at making excuses to evacuate his members out the house, Taeyong was usually the hardest to convince. He needs to ask about a thousand questions before he can even contemplate if whether he would leave the house or not.

And when the usually hang outs between him, you and Doyoung began to seize he started to grow curious. “Does anything feel odd between them two?” He leans down to whisper to Haechan one day when all of you were out on the busy streets of Seoul. Jungwoo and Yuta were in front with you and Doyoung, laughing at their dumb antics to be entertaining and even though to everyone nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Taeyong noticed the distance between you and Doyoung kept getting slimmer inch by inch until finally the two of you were brushing shoulder to shoulder and don’t even get him started by the glances Doyoung keeps stealing over to you.

41 times and counting did his best friend look over to you. So much as a chuckle escapes your mouth and he turns his head to catch the moment of your pearly whites and crescent eyes coming to view. Hyuck pauses momentarily before shaking his head. “Nah all I see is just two friends hanging out…nothing else nothing more.” He clears his throat. Feeling Taeyong look at him with suspicious eyes, he picks up the pace and walks closer to you four. “Hey guys wait up!”

As everyone agreed to go to a near by restaurant for dinner, Doyoung stayed back and held your hand to stop you from entering. “Yeah?” He looks up at the sky to see the warm colors illuminating the sky. “Sunsets pretty, I saw a bridge near by...” He strands his words hopefully, noticing the boy was indirectly asking for you to ask his offer in taking a photo shoot of you two being a cute couple you giggle and nod. As the two of you headed off into the direction of the bridge, Taeyong notices the table was missing two spots, “Where’s y/n and Doyoung?” Unfortunately Hyuck hasn’t been there to make an excuse on your behalf mostly because he was too busy whining to Mark for not letting him have the last breadstick.

Head scanning the place, he catches sight of you through a window nearest to the exit. Getting up and walks out, he takes slow steps to stay out of peripheral vision and watch as the two of you begin to take pictures. Just as he thinks it was nothing more than the two of you wanting to take in the view, his eyes widen and feet froze in place when he saw Doyoung curl a finger over your chin and turn your head so he can lean in for a kiss. Phone in his other hand as he takes the pictures. And when he thinks he had taken enough, without pulling away nor looking he lowers his hand and puts his phone away before cupping your face and continuing to kiss you.

The instinct to open his eyes out of no where gets the best of him and when he does, he completely stops kissing you. Confused and slightly bummed he ended it abruptly, you pull away and notice your boyfriend staring at someone ahead of him. Turning around and freezing just like he did, the two of you let out awkward chuckles after a few uncomfortable seconds later, “Uh.. hey Taeyongie?”

It had taken Taeyong longer to process than it did Haechan. For starters the two of you were his closest friends, he still can’t believe the same friends whom he played mud pies with and made cringey YouTube videos with have crossed that line of friendship. He didn’t know what to think, was this better than the two of you just full on ignoring him? It was right? He doesn’t really understand why it was so hard to digest, but this was huge. HUGE and when he was told Hyuck knew oh did the poor boy get an earful. “I told you!” “I know I’m sorry they made me promise!”

It was awkward for a few hours and all of the dinner, Doyoung and you sitting beside each other very uncomfortably as Taeyong wouldn’t stop picking at his food and glancing over to you two. It wasn’t until the two of you closed the car door on him once the others had gotten out did you properly speak to him. Apologizing for not coming clean earlier, for keeping him in the dark and overall for making it weird for him. “You didn’t make it weird.” He sighs and runs a hand through his hair. “It’s just so sudden it gave me whiplash-“ slightly chuckling at the mention of his song he clears his throat and gets serious again. “But tell me, is this serious?” He points at you two. Turning and staring into Doyoung’s eyes, he smiled sheepishly and holds your hand. “Yeah it is.” He responds back to him.

Turning to glance at Taeyong and noticing his eyes slightly glimmering with tears and takes the two of you by surprise when he suddenly wraps his arms around the two of you. “I’m so happy!” Laughing, you rub his back and hug him back. “Who else knows?” He pulls back and wipes his eyes. “Just you and Hyuck.” “Yeah and we’d appreciate it if you kept it a secret.” Doyoung tells him sternly. Nodding, he raises his hand and crosses his heart. “Understood.” Chuckling at him, the three of you snicker and return back to your regular goofy selves. Despite you and Doyoung dating, Taeyong knew nothing between the three of you actually changed and so with that he’s overjoyed .

JAEHYUN

Luck seemed to have never been on your side. So maybe the first two times you were being careless but how were you going to know that the Bluetooth was suddenly going to connect to some other device, nonetheless Jaehyun’s??

After a long day of practice, Doyoung was absolutely exhausted but that didn’t stop him from calling you. He hadn’t seen you and even though the two of you had begun hanging out a lot more often he still missed you. After Taeyong finding out, the three of you plus Haechan have been hanging out as well. Given they know, you found it to be easier to be more of a couple with them around. But like before, you stayed cautious, careful.

At times you had to sneak out of their dorms in the middle of the night before you fell asleep in Doyoung’s room and have anyone walking in on you two cuddling. It’s been about a week since Taeyong found out and it seemed no one has yet to suspect. Truly it seemed like no other surprises would be happening anytime soon until that dreadful night arrived.

Doyoung didn’t understand how anyone was awake. Everyone was at practice, everyone had to endure the eight plus hours of tiresome dancing that left your muscles spasming which is why he thought he was in the clear when he had called you so late at night. Too tired to hold the phone he chose to have his AirPods in, laid on his back as he tiredly mumbles back responses. “Babe just go to sleep I know you’re tired.” You try to convince him over the phone but he yet again refuses. “M’not tired.” He says with yawn, “you obviously are.” “Then help me stay awake.”

“Like what?” “I don’t know, sing to me.”

“Doie you’re the singer here, shouldn’t you be singing to me?” “Then talk dirty to me.” Snorting, you don’t take him serious at first until he responds monotonously. “What?”

“What do you mean what?”

“I asked you to talk dirty to me.” “You’re joking? Like phone sex?” At that he chuckles and hums, “sure why not. Can be one thing added to our list of kinks.” “List?”

“Oh you know, bondage, role play, BDSM, exhibition.” he chuckles eyes still closed as he tries to keep himself from falling asleep but you’re voice was too alluring. So much he may just fall asleep with a hard on. “You keep a list of kinks we tried out?”

“Of course, I remember everything we did each time we had sex.”

Suddenly the call goes dead, confused he picks up his phone and notices the call was still on. “Hello?” But no response, calling out to you once, twice, thrice but nothing. Just as he’s about to check his Bluetooth connection, the door is suddenly opened. Too dark to make out, the person who opened the door turns on the light and there stood Jaehyun deadpanning him. And although he didn’t looked shocked, horrified or screaming and bouncing off the walls. The lack of emotion, phone in his hand and his AirPods in his ears are enough for Doyoung’s heart to stop.

Oh shit.

Just as your boyfriend was left horrified in his bedroom so were you. You didn’t understand why you were suddenly hearing heavy breathing and a cough. But when you called out to Doyoung and instead got a deep voice saying, “No it’s Jaehyun.” You knew the two of you were caught red handed, and worse he heard the two of you talking about your kinks. How embarrassing!

The following days were dreadful, tensed and absolutely awkward. So much the others noticed, sending glances between the three of you and each any of them tried asking they were quickly silenced. Jaehyun tried not to make it a big deal and when he notices the worried looks on your faces he knows you had no intention of wanting to be outed quite yet so when the day comes in which the two of you pull up your big pants and go to talk to him, he speaks up before any of you are given the chance. “I understand, and it’s okay it’s an honest mistake.”

This meant three down, six more yet to know.

“So when did you two start hanging out?” Jaehyun raises a brow at you two, the other two turn and watch as you and Doyoung start getting red in the face. “In Tokyo.” You hoped that would be all you had to say but when Hyuck suddenly speaks up and begins to out the two of you, do you get comfy for a long painful conversation. And while you two sat awkwardly and silently holding hands, your three idiot friends couldn’t stop teasing and taunting the crap out of you. Oh how nice it felt when no one yet knew.

MARK & YUTA

As a new comeback neared, time with Doyoung was limited. Not only that but exhaustion and frustration increased. And as he struggled more to stay awake, it caused him to struggle with his singing. Taking a lot longer in the studio just to get a note right and when everyone else seemed to have already left hours ago and Doyoung is still there this only causes him to get annoyed at himself.

The only person he can find comfort in is you.

Which is when he visits you he knows you’re strong enough to take it.

Not a greeting given the second you open the door he steps in and closes the door behind you before he smashes his lips against yours. Pushing you up against a wall, and pulling you by the waist. Hungry for you he was, his forehead creased as he kissed you with need. The way he manhandles you shows he’s not trying to play around like the two of you usually do. Roughly pulling away and grabbing your arm, he pulls you over to your room and when inside, he doesn’t waste time pushing you down on the bed. Ripping the clothes off your skin, tossing his shirt over the bed and kicking off his pants. It’s nothing you’ve ever seen, the boy you were so used to seeing so composed, patient and calm was no where to be seen at the moment.

Smashing his lips on top of yours, ripping a loud moan from you that’s muffled by his mouth the second he sheathes himself inside your tight walls. Hands tightly gripping onto your sides as he starts out with a slow, steady pace. Thrusting inward and out until he picks up speed. And when he does, boy does it hurt so good. So much you couldn’t stop yourself from moaning loudly.

A hand over your throat as he adds pressure and leans in to kiss you gently. A complete contrast from the way he’s fucking you, and during the midst of your sexcapades, none of you were aware of the sudden guests that arrived.

Despite it being your home, the guys have made it their second home and even gotten themselves an extra key to use in order to get in. The both of you were too busy fucking each other’s brains out to hear the rattle of the door knob or the creaky of the door as both Yuta and Mark make themselves comforted the second they stepped foot into your home. It wasn’t until they heard a loud bang! Following with a series of moans and grunts did they automatically know what was going on. A shit eating grin on Yuta’s face as he turned to face his best friend only to find his face red and awkwardly chuckling while rubbing the back of his neck. “Maybe we should go…”

“Wonder who she’s with?” Furrowing his eye brows, Mark’s left confused as he watched Yuta begin to make his way over to your bedroom door. “Why does that matter? Also I feel like this is crossing the line.”

Turning to give him a bored look, Yuta holds up the key he copied without your permission. “Really? You think eavesdropping is what’s crossing the line here?” But when he sees Mark’s worried face, he proceeds to sigh and nod. “Alright let’s go…but just so you know she will not be hearing the end of it,” he smirks and as the two are about ready to make their way out, they hear you let out a long dragged moan. A name that spills out of your mouth that they found impossible to brush over.

“OH DOYOUNG” A hand paused on the doorknob as the two send each other bewildered looks. “Did she just…?”

“FUCK Y/N” They recognize that voice,

Oh?!

The initial shock definitely worked wonders on both Yuta and Mark. So much the news just wasn’t enough for only them two to be discussed. Even going to Taeyong about a ‘problem’ they were having.

“What if you had accidentally found out about some shocking news that was so big that it was just too big to not talk about it?” Mark asks him. Eyeing him then turning his gaze over to Yuta who only nods, Taeyong as confused as ever only shakes his head uncertain. “What?” Sighing in frustration, Mark gets up and starts to slowly pacing around the living room.

“Yeah like two friends who are now potentially…” Taeyong’s eyes slightly widen, freezing at what he may be hinting and with a low voice making sure no one else hears he asks them, “do you know something?”

“We may know something…” Yuta responds using the same low tone. “What do you know?” “How about you tell us what you know first.” “Oh no I can’t say.” “Then maybe it’s best we don’t say anything as well.” “Fine.” “Fine!” The three turn to face away from each other, a long pause occurs. It isn’t until Taeyong slowly turns his head to stare at his friends did he see them start doing the exact same thing. Eyeing them and squinting his eyes, he makes a face of denial and scoffs. “You don’t know anything.”

Yuta claps his hands and stands, voice slightly louder than Taeyong expected which caused him to get startled. “Fine! Then I’ll go back to y/n’s place and see the thing I think that I know is actually the thing that I know!” Gasping, Taeyong stands up and covers his mouth looking over and seeing Taeil currently in the kitchen with AirPods in, volume too loud to hear any of their conversation.

“You know!” He tells him in hushed whispers. Mark stands and lightly smacks his back, “and you know?!”

“Of course we do!” “We?!” The two asks him in shock. Shushing them again, he motions them to his room. Entering and closing it behind them, he sighs and nods. “Yes we know, me, Haechan, and Jaehyun but the others don’t know and they don’t want anyone else finding out so don’t say anything!” “Woah! This is just unbelievable!” Mark covers his mouth in disbelief, “I mean y/n and Doyoung?” Taeyong nods, hands on his hips. “I know, it was a shock to me too.”

Noticing a grin on Yuta’s face, he scrunches his brows and nods at him. “Why are you so smiley?” “They don’t know that we know right?” Shrugging, Taeyong answers no. “Not that I know of.” “What are you thinking?” Mark turns to him, shrugging he crosses his arms. “I don’t know, just kinda had an idea on how to mess with them.” Taeyong groans and shakes his head, “c’mon man how about we just tell them you know and maybe they’ll finally just grow a pair to actually come out and get all of this secrecy over and done with. I do suck at keeping secrets after all.” Mark shakes his head and shifts his attention back to Yuta, “mmm, I wanna do Yuta’s thing!”

Rolling his eyes, Taeyong takes a seat in front of them as Yuta starts coming up with the prank. “This means, and Taeyong correct me on this. That every time y/n or Doyoung kept coming up with stuff like needing to do the laundry, or grocery shopping, or having a late shift they were together this whole time?” Taeyong nods, “Yeah pretty much.” Grinning, Yuta faces Mark again. “Okay then, Mark given you share rooms with Doyoung. Any time he says he’s going to do laundry, give him your laundry so that he’ll have to actually do it. And then maybe when he says he needs to do grocery shopping, we’ll give him like a huge list of items he needs to buy.”

Laughing, Mark laughs and pitches in on the idea. And while the boys had a blast, Taeyong continued to object but all went unheard. “But what about you?” Mark asks the mischievous boy. “I’ll use my specialty, my good looks to try and feel y/n up. Freak her out by thinking I’m into her.”

“OR,” Taeyong speaks up gaining their attention, “How about this…haha…we uh kinda like um- tell them!” Rolling their eyes, they shake their heads. “So it’s settled then?” Yuta confirms with the younger boy and when he excitedly agrees the two get started with the laundry basket and grocery list which doesn’t seem to have taken long to get done. “Oh! And Taeyong you’re not allowed to say a word!” Yuta points a finger at him. “Couldn’t even if I wanted to.” He huffs gruffly.

The prank came into affect much quicker than anticipated. By the next day, the regular get together occurred with you at their dorms. The clock hit 8 and as a notification is heard from Doyoung’s phone he’s quick to start making an excuse to leave. “Forgot I had some laundry to get to.” Sending each other glances, the boys notice the not so discreet looks the two of you send each other. Realizing just how obvious it had all been. Before leading up to this very moment, they noticed just how flirty you two were. Maybe knowing you have been friends since teens, it was hard to see the gestures between you any less than friendly. But now, under a new light wow were you two constantly horny for each other. Yuta noticed how Doyoung’s hand at some point creeped up on your thigh and softly squeezed it every once and a while. Or the way you pulled him into your embrace and began playing with his hair while he patted the side of your bum. How the two of you kept feeding each other and let’s not forget the whole perilla leaves fiasco that occurred earlier like come on! How could they have not noticed this before!

So with one slight nod, Mark got off the couch hurriedly. “Okay hold up Doie!” Waiting for him, Yuta sees the boys eyes widen the second Mark comes back with a large basket of dirty laundry. “Can you wash these for me I’d really appreciate it!” Mouth slightly agape, Doyoung goes to refuse. “What the-! Why can’t you do your own laundry?” Yuta stands up and walks over to Mark. “We are actually being called to the studio, yeah apparently we have to go over some lines. I’m sure you don’t mind doing this just once for our cute adorable Markie right?” It was silent momentarily, Haechan and Jaehyun who also knew were present. And after being informed by Taeyong about their prank, they watched silently while holding back their own grins.

Doyoung and you exchange looks. The text message he received from you was something he couldn’t pass up and seeing your eyes silently demanding him to find a way out of it, he starts to frantically try and come up with some excuse. “Um, I would but…I don’t have enough…detergent! Yeah don’t think there’s enough for your clothes.” “Oh don’t worry!” Yuta speaks up, and walks over to the bathroom. A loud bang of a door is heard and soon he comes out with a large bottle of detergent. “Made sure we had enough for ALL of our clothes.” Setting it in front of him, Yuta smiles brightly at him and hums. “Well I’d like to stick around but you already know, me and Markie gotta get going.”

Saying quick see ya’s, you go over and hug Mark good bye for the night. You’re slightly taken aback when Yuta suddenly rips you out of Mark’s embrace and engulfs you in a bear hug. “I’ll miss you y/n!” He says cheerfully before lowering his mouth to your ear and whispering lowly, “dream of me princess.” Pulling away and winking at you, he walks out the dorms with Mark. Ignoring the surprise on your face , but Doyoung didn’t. And when he finally had a moment with you, he wasted no time asking what had happened.

“He said what?!”

JOHNNY & TAEIL

The further the guys prank went on, only started to freak you and Doyoung out more. You didn’t understand why Yuta suddenly started to become so flirty with you. Chesire smile on his face, the subtle touching, face lowering to near your beet red one. And while he did that, Doyoung was busy trying to keep his cool. Hand clenched around the fork as he glared daggers at his friend, you’re in front of everyone he’d remind himself, but how can he keep calm when all he sees is Yuta practically talking your ear off with a shit eating grin. And if he wasn’t busy silently cursing Yuta off, then he’s busy dealing with Mark and his overload of chores.

“I’m sorry baby I can’t come.” He sighs sadly over the phone, “What? Why?” You try to hold back a whine but can’t. You had been so excited to be able to spend some alone time with your boyfriend and now it’s another rain check.

“Mark gave me a huge list of groceries I need to get, on top of that he wants me to go pick up clothes at the dry cleaners.”

“So what? He’s a big boy he can do it himself.” “Yeah well I kinda lost a bet so I have no other choice. But! I promise tomorrow I’ll get out early and spend the rest of the afternoon with you.” “Alright you better hold up to that promise Kim.” “I will baby.” “Alright then, I’ll let you to it.”

By the time the two of you hung up the phone, you had received a message from none other than Nakamoto Yuta, wanna go on a date? ;)

You couldn’t believe it, why suddenly has he got his interest on you. For the longest the Japanese boy has been clear he only ever seen you as an annoying sister to him so why the sudden attraction? And as you pace around the living room with your boyfriend and the guys that know, you come to a slow stop in realization. Eyes focused on a particular guilty looking blonde, you point a finger at him. “Tae…do you know something?”

The guys turn their focus on their leader, feigning ignorance despite them also having known the truth. “Do you know something?” Hyuck speaks up with a slight tease to it. Taeyong sends him a warning look before murmuring out, “No..” “Taeyong?” Doyoung’s tone slightly irked as he raises a brow at his best friend. Getting closer to him, you take a seat in front of him. “I might know something.” Gasping, you throw your hands in exasperation, “I can’t believe it!” “What? I didn’t tell them!” Both yours and Doyoung’s eyes widen and in sync you speak up, “Them?!”

“Um…” looking at Hyuck and Jaehyun for help, they only raise their hands up and turn their backs on him. Sighing in defeat he nods, “Yuta and Mark, they found out not too long ago.” “How?!”

Taeyong makes a funny look, “you really wanna know?” Given how they found out, a part of you didn’t even want to know how Yuta and Mark found out. If life has a pattern, then it can only mean they found out through a way you wished they hadn’t. “Wait a minute.” Doyoung speaks up, “so this whole time they knew?” Taeyong nods, “which means they’ve been messing with us?” Taeyong nods once more. “Oh they think they’re so slick!” You smack your lap before getting up and start pacing back and forth around the living room again. “Well it doesn’t matter anymore, now that they know and you know. The pranks can all be over!”

“Or…” “No! No or…” Taeyong groans. “We can play a little game ourselves.” You say, Doyoung’s face immediately turns one of a sinister smile and joins your side. “Ah yes, the messers become the messies!” “So what do you plan on doing?” Jaehyun asks you two.

“This is a stupid idea!” Taeyong exasperates. “Relax Taeyong its not like I’m going on a date with you.” You tell him which has him getting red in the face. Currently cramped in Taeyong’s room closest to the hall, Hyuck and Jaehyun watch as Doyoung helps you get ready to go on a date with the Nakamoto boy who had currently gone out for some wine. “Alright, you know what to do. Get him to break first, have him admit his pranks and no kissing.” Doyoung tells you sternly before leaning in and smashing his lips on top of yours. “Ok show time.” He tells you when he hears the front of the door open, closing the bedroom door once you got out. The guys were quick to press their ears up against the door.

“Do you hear anything?” Hyuck asks. “Yes, you. Now shut up.” Doyoung scolds him.

Walking out of the hall and seeing Yuta dressed up nicely with a bottle of wine in hand, he stops in his tracks when he sees you. Short red dress with a very prominent slit that reveals a little too much thigh. A bra that did a fine job pushing up your boobs and making the cleavage all that defining. Hair and makeup down and the perfume Doyoung had practically drowned you in could be smelled from miles away. You notice the boy gulp as you take calculated steps towards him. “You’re back.” Nodding, he coughs and brings back the grin. “Missed me pretty girl?”

There’s a sudden loud scoff before it’s roughly cut off. It causes Yuta to grow suspicion but before you let him start asking questions, you walk over and grab a wine glass. “How about a glass to start us off?” You bat your eyes at him. The two of you began to drink, music started playing and eventually it progressed to the two of you dancing. “Feeling shy? You know you can get closer.” Feeling yourself begin to get tensed, you compose yourself and take the slightest step closer. “Oh come on I know you can get a lot closer than that.” Wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you until your chest was pressed against his. A shock gasp escapes your mouth, “Oh I’m sorry is this too much?” God how you want to shut him up, you know he knows he has the upper edge.

Shaking your head, you look up at him with an innocent smile. “Nope, if anything. I don’t think we’re quite yet close.” “Huh?” Hand placed at the back of his neck, you pull him closer until his face was mere inches away from yours. You notice how his eyes widen, a panicked look on his face as he was taken by surprise. The smirk on his face faltered and suddenly, Yuta was at loss for words. “What’s wrong? Is this too much?” You feign innocence. He lets out an awkward chuckle before pulling away, “No. just uh, I remembered I forgot something in the car. Would you mind if I…” “oh no of course not go ahead. I’ll be waiting here,” you wink at him and prop yourself on the counter. Legs crossed and popping out your cleavage. Yuta let’s out yet another uncomfortable chuckle before rushing out the door. When you’re sure the door clicked shut, you’re quick to get down and rush over to Taeyong’s room.

The sudden opening of the door smacks the guys inside, rubbing the injured part of the arm. But you didn’t worry about that, instead you began to freak out. “He won’t let up boys, he went to the car to get something.” “Yeah but he did it because you freaked him out, so keep doing what your doing until he cracks!” Hyuck tries to reason. “He started freaking out when I pulled his face close to mine-“ Feeling a hand pull you back, you come face to face with a bewildered boyfriend. “You what?” “Do you want us to win or not?” Huffing, he nods and crosses his arms. “I want to win.” He mumbles with a pout. The door to Taeyong’s bathroom opens and out he comes. With a groan, he walks closer to you.

“It’s still not over?” “Oh come on Taeyong the sooner Yuta gives up the quicker all of this is over.” At that his eyes lit up. “Oh alright um…oh!” Gasping when he suddenly unzips your dress you’re quick to hold your dress up. “Taeyong!” “Dude what are you doing?” Doyoung glares at him. “What? Yuta has some sort of panic over seeing women’s backs and their bralette. Just tell him to zip you up and he’ll break immediately.” Shrugging you nod, “sounds reasonable.” Quickly walking out the room, you return just in time to see Yuta resting his head up against the door. “Feeling unwell?” You say.

“Absolutely not gorgeous …” the once confidence Yuta had managed to gain back withers when he sees you clutching your dress desperately. Noticing how he’s eyeing the fallen straps, you blush and clear your throat. “Oh um, can you be a doll and,” turning to show him your back, he visibly gulps. “zip me up? Unless you prefer for me to have it off?” Yuta’s throat goes dry and eyes like saucers at the thought of you dressing down. Doyoung bangs his head on door upon hearing that, so loud Yuta turns his head over to the sound. “There’s that sound again?” Before he even takes a step closer into the direction of the sound you grab him to face you again. “Zipper please?” He nods and when he does, he makes sure to not look. Even accidentally catching a pinch of your skin and when he goes to inspect the skin, you feel yourself getting flustered by how close he is. “Feeling okay?” The teasing tone shows up again. “Perfect.” There’s a moment of silence, neither of you knowing what to do. “M’glad to finally have this date with you.” You say.

He grins and hums, “I’m glad you agreed to go on a date with me.” He curls a finger under your chin and lifts it to look up at him. At this point he has you up against the nearest wall, his other hand resting right beside your head. You can practically hear his breathing and the loud pounding of your heart beating. “Yeah, I’ve uh…been dreaming about this day.” “And I’ve been dreaming about kissing you.” Eyes widening, he softens his gaze tauntingly. “Oh? Have I said too much?” Shaking your head, you pull him by his tie. “Think you said enough, how about you kiss me to make your dream come true.” His breath hitches and soon his hands start to become clammy, “unless you don’t want to?” He pulls back to regain himself. Taking deep breaths, “No…I’m…im good.”

Turning his head to look back at you, he nods reluctantly. “I will, kiss you.” “Really?! I mean,” coughing you shrug. “…No yeah, you should.” Awkwardly the two of you began to shift closer and closer. Both silently begging for the other to crack and when the two of you are mere inches away from each other Yuta speaks up. “Ok well guess we have no other choice but to…kiss.” Nodding nervously, you watch as his lips near closer to yours. Only a few centimeters away and suddenly there’s a loud bang.

“Absolutely not!”

The two of you move away with each other. Letting out exhales the two of you hadn’t known you’ve been keeping in and relieved the kiss hadn’t happened. “And why not?” Yuta asks him with a smirk. “Because I love her!” The front door suddenly opens and in enters Mark who had been waiting outside. Following right after Doyoung is Taeyong, Hyuck and Jaehyun who are just in shock to hear the news.

“What?”

“That’s right, I love her! I love y/n and I’ll be damned if I let you kiss her.” Smiling like a buffoon, you near him to where he’s standing. Arms going to wrap themselves around his shoulders and like instincts, he holds you closer by the waist. “I love you y/n.” He softens his gaze at you before leaning in to kiss you. “I knew you two were doing it but I didn’t know you were in love.” Mark coos excitedly. Grinning, Doyoung hides his face in your shoulder as you laugh. “I love you too Doie.” You whisper in his ear in which he only hugs you tighter in return.

“What. The. Fuck??”

You suddenly hear a loud voice shout out. And as the rest look over to the door Mark had left wide open. There stood Johnny and Taeil mouth agape and utterly confused with grocery bags in hands.

“Oh hey guys…” Hyuck speaks up through the awkward silence.

JUNGWOO

Finally it seemed like everyone knew and although none of them found out the way you wished they would have, you liked the outcome of it all. Taeyong quick to engulf the two of you, after taking half an hour explaining the two oldest from beginning to current with your situation his grin comes to a halt when you and Doyoung speak up again.

“So everyone knows now!”

“Actually Jungwoo doesn’t know, so we’d appreciate it if you don’t say anything.” Taeyong’s smile drops before he walks out of the kitchen. “Is asking for a clean conscious too much to ask nowadays!” You hear his gruff as he stomps his way into his room.

“Well it’s great to see the two of you together, can’t believe it took you guys so long.” Taeil speaks up as he starts preparing dinner. “What do you mean?” “Please it was so obvious the two of you have been hooking up.” The two of you chuckle shockingly, “What? How?” Taeil raises a brow at the two of you, “Please the two of you would not stop pitching your voice each time I mention the others name in Tokyo. It was obvious something had happened between you two and when we got home and been noticing Doyoung getting home late I knew it was because he was with you. I mean why else would he be out so late.”

“What?” Doyoung asks offendedly. “Hey I could’ve been out with some friends!”

“Oh who are you kidding Doyoung?” Johnny says when he enters the kitchen. “No matter how much makeup the stylists put on you, it was impossible to cover the hickies you had all over your neck.” Face turning red, he fails to get out a coherent sentence and instead turns into a stuttering mess. “You know what, I don’t need this right now.” He then proceeds to walk out the kitchen with his hand in yours, dragging you into his room. Not before hearing Johnny yell out, “Hey you better be using condoms!”

Although you had asked the guys to not tell Jungwoo, it almost seemed like you didn’t bother any more. The two of you bluntly began to start cuddling each other in front of his face. You fed each other spoonfuls of food and even sat on his lap. Running a hand through his hair and even hiding your face in the crook of Doyoung’s neck. It was completely obvious the two of you were a couple. Wearing his clothes, walking out of his room early in the morning and enjoying each other’s company with some breakfast. And yet Jungwoo had yet to notice, maybe you judged Haechan too hard.

You were planning to actually just come out and tell Jungwoo, ‘hey I’m dating your group member/best friend’ but before given the chance schedules had piled on them again. By the time you had a moment with Doyoung you had been busy spending it inside your car.

Parked in front of the house, Doyoung wasn’t patient enough to wait for inside and instead had you planted on his lap. Arm pulling you in to smash his lips against yours. Groaning each time you grinded on him, tight jeans restricting him from fucking you. And when you begin to undo his buttons, pull down his briefs and start sucking him off he forgets the potential risk of getting caught. Large hands keeping your hair in a makeshift ponytail as he gets you to gag on his cock. Eyes rolling back each time you sucked his angry red tip, eyes staring ‘innocently’ up at him. He was close to combusting but he didn’t want it in your mouth. With quick hurry shifts, he pulls you on his lap again and roughly tugs your jeans down. Fingers rubbing your soaked pussy, pushing your soiled thong to the side and thrusting a finger inside your tight walls.

By the time he got you bouncing on his cock, both getting light headed. Windows beginning to fog up and car resonated the sounds of your mixed moans and juices, the two of you grow oblivious to the member who chose to have a lazy day in.

Going to grab himself a bottled water and noticing the car parked in the drive way. Just as he recognizes it as your car. He’s pulling the curtains apart and goes to wave at the two of you.

“Hey guys! Hi!…” eyes squinting and noticing the reason for the amount of movement happening inside, his face turns into one of horror.

“OH!!” He points in horror. “OH NO!”

Hearing the loud shouts, the others come rushing down the stairs and seeing a traumatized Jungwoo looking out the window with wide eyes and mouth agape. “What? what’s wrong?” Mark rubs his eyes. Taeyong looks out the window and immediately realizes why he was acting such a way. When the others do the same, a mixture of reactions occur but none are like Jungwoo.

“ITS Y/N AND DOYOUNG! ITS Y/N AND DOYOUNG!” He keeps repeating over and over,

“Jungwoo it’s fine!” Taeyong tries to reason. “Well maybe not exactly fine, I mean they are doing in the drive way..” Johnny shrugs. But Jungwoo has yet to calm down, and soon his yells are being heard from outside.

“Do you hear something?” Doyoung asks you as the two of you come to a halt. “I don’t think so…”

“NO THEY’RE DOING IT!”

“Oh crap…”

“Well I guess we don’t gotta keep us a secret anymore.”

[lonelystczennie]

It's you

Doyoung x Reader

Summary: Doyoung's had feelings for you for years, what happens when he finally decides to tell you?

Word count: 700+

Warnings: mentions punching someone, mentions of hiding a body in a joke, not proofread

A/N: Thanks to the lovely anon who requested this!(Also, I set this in winter because I think it suits Doyoung and also because it's hot AF outside rn)

Masterlist

Requests are open

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

"Are you even listening to me?"

Doyoung blinked, refocusing his gaze on you. "Of course I am."

"What was I just saying then? You asked.

"How you couldn't stand how your professor rambles on about things that don't have anything to do with your assignments." He responded immediately, making you sit back in your chair, impressed.

Of course he was listening to you, he always listened to you, even when he acted like he wasn't just to piss you off. Doyoung couldn't ignore you even if he wanted to.

The two of you were sitting in the same cafe you met at every week, catching up on what was new in each other's lives as the windows fogged over from the frigid cold outside.

"Are you sure you wanna walk today? It's freezing." You asked.

"It's not that bad." He shrugged.

"You only say that because you're built like a furnace." You argued.

"I am not!" He retorted.

"You never get cold!"

"Yes I do!"

That was how it'd been between you since you'd met in school, non-stop bickering. You're friends had honestly thought you two hated each other at first, but that was just how you communicated. But heaven forbid someone else try something like that with one of you.

Doyoung still remembered the day thay you punched a dude nearly a foot taller than you in junior high because they'd called gim a dirty name. You'd gotten suspended for a week, and he'd basically sworn his undying loyalty to you.

You were one of the only people he felt truly safe and comfortable around and who didn't make him nervous. And despite all your teasing, you had always accepted him as he was. It was one of the many reasons he loved you.

Except he hadn't told you that, not yet at least.

You finished your drinks and made your way out into the cold, heading towards the park like usual. You tried to several times to start conversations about different subjects, but Doyoung's responses had become increasingly brief and distracted.

"Are you okay?" You finally asked, tilting your head at him.

" 'm fine, why?" He said.

"I don't know, you just seem... distant today, like you're somewhere else."

He sighed, his breaths forming small clouds in the air. "It's nothing."

"It's not nothing if it's bothering you." You said, nudging his shoulder. "C'mon, you know you can tell me anything. Do you need help hiding a body or something?"

He laughed. "No, It's nothing like that, it's... I like someone."

Your step faltered for a second in surprise before you recovered. "Really, you?"

"Mhm," He nodded. "But the thing is, I don't know how to tell them, or even if I should."

"You should definitely tell them, unless they're in a relationship or something already." You said. "Are they?"

"No, it's just kinda complicated." He explained, keeping his eyes down as you walked, fearing that if he looked at you, he'd lose his nerve. "I've know them for a long time."

"Do you think they'll like you back?"

"I think so, I hope so."

"Well, then you should go for it." You encouraged him.

"Really?" He shot you a quick look.

"Absolutely! If you really like this person, then you should give it a shot. I can't think of a person more deserving of a shot at that kind of happiness than you." You continued walking, but he stopped in the middle of path, taking a deep, shakey breath.

"It's you."

You froze mid-step, turning back slowly to stare at him as he stood, motionless, a few feet behind you.

"It's you." He repeated.

"Really?"

He nodded. "It always has been."

"Youngie." You said quietly, the childhood nickname sending a shudder through him as he closed his eyes, trying not to let his emotions get the better of him and failing.

"It's okay if you don't feel the same way, but I-"

He hadn't heard your approaching footsteps, but he hyper aware of your hands catching hold of his face and pulling him down to connect his lips to yours.

For a moment, he stood frozen in shock, before relaxing against you, the warmth of you almost searing in comparison to the cold bite of the December air.

He slowly brought his arms up, finally able to wrap them around you, to keep you close even as you pulled away for air.

"I like you too, in case you didn't get it from that." You said, making him chuckle again.

"I got it." He said, smiling down at you till a sudden breeze drifts through, making him shiver. "You wanna head back now? It's cold."

"Eh, it's not that bad."

[absolutebl]

Kpop end of 2022 shows

In which I mostly slam 4th gen boy groups, so if you’re a stan skip this post or go in prepared to be offended. I am aware that this is off brand for this blog. But I’m also aware that I have a number of followers who are as deeply into Kpop as me, and...

who probably will unfollow me after reading this. Oh well, I’m gonna do it anyway. This is my tiny corner of the internet. MINE I tell you!  

Look, there was no Between Us airing today, and so nothing for me to get my watch-along snark out on except for the 2 Kpop shows that Viki popped into my feed. So skip this post if that’s not your thing. 

2022 Gayo Daejeon (stadium event) 

OMG! Either mic them properly or don’t mic them at all! This is a music concert, right? Why can’t Korea ever fucking get the sound right in these goddamn bonanza shows? I had this problem with Kingdom (arguably more of an issue since that was supposedly made for TV) but it’s 100 times worse with this show. It’s so frustrating. 

For example, with NCT, why is Johnny’s the only hot mic in the group? Sound tech on stuff out of Korea is mind numbingly confusing and ear wrenchingly annoying. I am reminded why I never watch the live shows and never go to Kpop concerts.

And now, here’s some offensive thoughts and unpopular opinions:

Yeonjun of TXT is one of the best 4th gen dancers ever fielded, and one of the better all rounders. But Kpop stylists gotta learn how to dress a dancer so that they can be properly watched, ya know, WHEN THEY ARE DANCING. No puffer vests, you brainless fashionista numb-nuts. Poor thing kept having to do wardrobe adjustments. Honestly, this plus their red carpet looks this year? 

TXT desperately needs a new stylist.

Stray Kids

As a group? They really can’t sing very well or consistently, their strength is in their performance and rapping. And their rappers MUST to be micced hot for live - just KILL 3racha's backup recording, okay? They can handle it. Otherwise please just let them all lip-synch so we can watch them perform. It’s a much better experience.

NCT

Yuta has more charisma in his little finger than Taeyong has in his whole entire body. Doyoung is an incredibly underrated vocalist. Their’s was some of the worst miccing and sound of the night (which is saying a lot considering how terrible it was the whole time). Fantastic use of the stage tho. One the best stadium performance I’ve seen since GOT7. Also, 2 Baddies is an objectively terrible song - which is probably why it’s so popular.

The Boyz

Definitely the prettiest, how are they consistently so glorious on their visuals? Sunwoo keeps getting hotter, it’s patently unfair. But, oh my god, if you are going to have a group sing ballads, then bring 2nd (Highlight) or 3rd (BTOB) gens up there don’t use The Boyz (or SK for that matter). No one wants to hear unstable vocals, even if it’s a CNBLUE cover. Is it weird that The Boyz make me miss Seventeen? Same vibe... better syncopation. 17 is not as pretty tho.

Who is? 

Well, UNIQ of course. But I don’t wanna talk about that. 

Ateez

Jongho is the only 4th gen idol in existence who doesn’t need a mic even in a goddamn stadium. He is insane. But there is a reason the boy likes a handheld mic, because he takes his vocals seriously. And still the sound tech didn’t trust him enough to leave that mic hot? Frankly, it’s a crime that Jongho’s voice is wasted on a performance group. (Yes, I said it.) But Ateez did give the best stage of the night. They really are one of the industry’s hardest working groups at the moment. I’m a little worried they’re being pushed too much.

Enhyphen

Actually singing for a change *gasp* what will they do without auto tune? Ooof, I’m hella mean tonight. And... they seem to have been practicing their vocals since last time. Honestly? They lack the stage presence of some of the more experienced 4th gens. NCT fucking EATS up a stadium. Enhyphen looked a little sad up there by comparison.

MBC 2022 (New Year's showcase) 

Much better sound (mostly lip-synching) and most groups handle a showcase stage better than a stadium. 

The MC team was better on this one. 

Any time the Boyz and Ateez would like to dance together, I will be happy to watch it happen.

I’m not particularly interested in either of them, but Tempest and Kepler covering Pretty U was pretty damn cute. But younger boy groups + younger girl groups intermixing on stage always comes off as awkward. Dancers should be dancing together when they share a stage together. It’s weird when they are clearly afraid to touch each other. 

Hanbin is such sunshine, so pleased to see a Vietnamese idol at last.

As expected the bands doing live Krock had the best music performances. Well and the opera singers, of course. 

NCT’s Jungwoo is Taemin’s little brother, they look too much alike, you cannot persuade me otherwise. 

It’s a sin that Jeahyun hasn’t has a break away acting role yet. No babies, he really isn’t going to do us a BL. 

It’s always great when the surfeit of music shows at the end of the year forces a group like NCT to divide and conquer, because we get to see some of the lesser publicized members do some killer performing. 

NCT’s choreographer is phenomenal. Best in the biz? 

A sexy cover of Love Killa is fine but if you can’t go hard on Monsta X’s raps then why bother? This only made me want to go watch the original. Which I did. 

I’d like to see SK cover Monsta X but that’s about it. Maybe P1H.

Speaking of MX. Why did they cover a song where Kihyun (one of the most consistent voices in Kpop) mostly has to sing falsetto? What a damn waste. 

Fun to see IM getting more confident in his vocals but I’d still rather see the MX maknae line rap. 

And… thank you for doing an end of year stage Monsta X! Holding onto my beloved 3rd gens by the skin of my teeth here. Look I just love them, okay? Even down 2 members Monsta X goes harder than other groups, but effortlessly. They gave the best performance of my whole night, both shows, 6 hours of content and I’m just left wanting to watch MX comeback stages.  

Am I 3rd gen biased? 

Probably. 

Bite me. But only if you can do it as hard as Monsta X would. 

[what-if-nct]

i need random nct voicemails

I really hope you meant voicemails NCT would send cause I kinda really want to do that.

Taeil: "Please call me back I lost the remote I don't like what's on the tv"

Johnny: "Hurry, call back Mark got hit by a car. I'm just kidding , anyway did you eat the last bag of hot cheetos? . Oh Mark really is in the hospital for getting hit by a car.

Taeyong: "You must be busy, call me back later, I love you. I miss you." *5 mintues later* "Please call back, I need someone to talk to' *5 minutes* "I got the strawberry hello kitty in the blind box I bought today call me back"

Yuta: "So, I might be in jail and you were my only call so my life is in your hands"

Doyoung: "Why is blood all over the fucking bathroom floor who did this?"

Kun: "I'm teaching a few sociology classes at NYU next weekend. You're in charge while I'm gone"

Ten: "I don't know who you are but I didn't know he was married whatever your problem is, isn't my fault."

Jaehyun: *MGK playing in the background* ".....................sup"

Winwin: "Please stop looking at me through the window I'll be home soon"

Jungwoo: "Okay I got in the wrong car but they bought me ice cream and we're going to the toy store so take your time"

Mark: "So like I was just calling because um, like I don't even really know but like call me back I guess"

Xiaojun: "Where the fuck is everyone I thought we were going to dinner I come out the shower and everyone is gone this isn't funny"

Hendery: "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I hope your air pods were in your ear"

Renjun: "Stop calling then not answering when I call you back what the fuck do you even want."

Jeno: " I saw a turtle today"

Haechan: "Fuck you too"

Jaemin: "I love you, I love you so much. I miss you. please call me back. I'm alone and need you"

Yangyang: "Can you pick me up at the gentleman's club in Atlanta, I may have cried during a lap dance. You were right I'm not grown.

Shotaro: If you see a dog on the couch I didn't bring him home, he just let himself in His name is Charlie"

Sungchan: "Why is a dog asleep on the couch? This is the fifth time this week Shotaro."

Chenle: "I don't care who you think you are but you will learn who the fuck I am if I see another hair on Daegal missplaced"

Jisung: "I'm not scared but please come and get me I'm by a red fire water thing"

[lunarsun12]

The Yumark Breakup Again Part 1/2

Masterlist

Next Part

It has been 2 weeks, since Jisung has found out about Yuta convo with Winwin. He couldn’t stand to see Mark being so oblivious, to Yuta deceitful lies.

He decided to take matters in his own hands and called Mark. To explain everything what has Yuta done, which leads to Mark breaking up with Yuta.

However things are not always what they seem…

Back At The Dream Chat

Today 18:00

Mark🐯: SOMEONE OPEN THE DOOR RIGHT NOW

Chenle💸: Mark have you forgotten you keys, ask Yuta. You in the wrong chat

Mark🐯: DON’T SAY THAT TWO TIMING LION NAME!!

Chenle💸: Two timing? Did Yuta lie to you again?

Chenle💸: Hyuckie, did it again hahahah

Haechan🐻: It wasn’t me this time! I swear! I have learnt my lesson, when I almost got killed by Yuta!!

Renjun🍀: Who is banging on the door? So loud, jisung if you forgot your keys, call us!

Renjun🍀: I really don’t want, to see the kids from upstairs again. They give me bad vibes

Jisung🚀: I’m in Chenle room, doing something 😊

Jisung🚀: Mark, did the right thing. Ditching that Cheater Yuta hyung, he made Mark sad :(

Jaemin🌸: Why aren’t you guys, getting the door. My poor baby Mark is out there with a sad heart

Jeno🐶: I’ll get the door and Nana bring the sad kit to Mark

After Jeno very unwilling, let Mark into the living room. Jaemin came prepared with box of tissue and some hot cocoa.

Jaemin: Mark honey, what did Yuta do this time?

Mark: *sniffs* HE CHEATED

Jisung happens to enter the living room, to grab a screw driver to help chenle with something.

Jisung from the storage closets: Yea, Yuta hyung is not loyal to Mark. I need to tell Mark before he gets hurt even more

Jaemin: Jisung? How did you found out?

Jaemin: Also why are you in the storage closet?

Jisung: I heard Yuta saying, he missed his Winnie and when I walked past them. They look guilty!!

Once Jisung finished, what he is looking for. He immediately ran to Chenle room, before Chenle throw is teddy bear out the window.

After Jisung, left there was knock on the door. Jeno grumbles again, for having to get up and saw Yuta plus Doyoung at the door.

Jeno: Mark, you lover is here + the stress Eomma

Mark: Make Yuta, go away. I don’t want to talk to him. I’m too emotional!

Jaemin: I talk to them, Jeno comfort Mark. Make sure you keep on Mark, in case he hugs another watermelon

Jeno: Fine…

Jaemin opens the door and greeted the Eomma and Son duo with a smile.

Jaemin: How about we have a talk?

Jaemin: Talking with Mark, in this state will get you nowhere. Let’s go to the downstairs coffee shop for a chat 😚

The two followed Jaemin downstairs and Jaemin starts to question Yuta.

Jaemin: Yuta, did you really cheat on Mark?

Yuta: No it was a misunderstanding, Jisung misunderstood the situation. I was trying to get rid off the bad vibes between me and Winnie

Yuta: Let me explain!

Flashback a few hours ago

At the 127 house

Mark and Yuta were enjoying some quality time together. Until Mark Phones ring. Mark picked up the phone with a smile, he saw Jisung ID.

Mark: Yuta, I will be right back. My lil bro Jisung is calling me ☺️

Yuta: Okay, cool!

10 mins later…

Mark: YUTA IM SO DONE WITH YOU!!

Yuta: *blinks* Calm down Mark

Mark: DON’T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN. AFTER I GAVE YOU A WARNING LAST TIME. NOT TO DO IT AGAIN

It clicked in Yuta’s head, what has happened.

Yuta: Mark, it is misunderstanding. Jisung got the wrong end of the stick. Let me explain -

Mark: WE ARE DONE! I AM LEAVING!!

Mark storms out, went upstairs to pack along way. He bumped in Jungwoo and Johnny, who looks really confused as well having flashbacks, the last time it happens.

Jungwoo: We should hide, this doesn’t sound good

Johnny: I’m coming with you my lil cotton candy brother

Jungwoo: Let’s just hide, in Eomma crying spot. No one ever goes there

Jungwoo and Johnny ran to Doyoung crying spot in flash. Bracing the impact that will be upon them, when Yuta and Mark has fought.

10 mins later, there was big argument at the front door. Mainly Yuta begging Mark, to not to leave and Mark screaming. It draw the attention of Doyoung, who came rushing downstairs, when he heard the noise.

Doyoung: Yuta and Mark, what an earth are you two arguing at the door?

Mark: Tell your son, to not hold me hostage!

Yuta: Mark, let me explain and you can choose to leave or not. After I explain

Mark: No, all you do is tell lies!! I’m not falling for your tricks

Doyoung: Yuta, let Mark go for now and explain how it happens

Yuta reluctantly let Mark go. Mark ran so fast he was gone within a seconds. Yuta explains the situation to Doyoung.

Doyoung: *sighs* Yuta, you really need to be careful of your words, when you with Winwin. Especially when Jisung is around, we never know where he is

Doyoung: Last time, Jisung has caught me and your Appa having an argument. How we supposed to know, he was wondering with hyuck

Yuta: Poor boy, he must be scared. No wonder Uncle Nana doesn’t like you.

Doyoung: I have to explain Jisung, we were acting for a play. It cleared the poor boy suspicion

Doyoung: Mark should be at Nana house. Let’s go and hopefully Nana is in a good mood and not murder us.

End of flashback

Doyoung explained the situation to Jaemin. Who nods in agreement, he knows what Jisung is like, as he did it a lot of times.

Jaemin: Okay, I help you two!

Doyoung: Wait? You not mad? That Yuta accidentally made Mark cry?

Jaemin shakes his head: No, if you heard it from Jisung. It’s 100% a misunderstanding

Yuta: Great, can we please go to Mark!

Jaemin lights smacks Yuta head

Jaemin: Buddy, he won’t believe you now. Mark is stubborn, ever since he was child. It’s hard to change his mind

Jaemin: You need to tell Jisung, that it was misunderstanding and he will tell Mark and the rest is up to Mark to decide

Yuta: I will take that

Jaemin: Come I bring you two upstairs, and also don’t speak too much. We have this nosy upstairs neighbours, who happen to appear at random moments

[liliansun]

day 17/365 of haechan appreciation~

the sunflower urge to gatekeep is strong today (once again)

i'll be honest - i hate writing in anything other than black.

6 questions for a bored/procrastinating sunflower :)... lilac i'm expecting answers btw and i'll share mine below

what are your three favourite hairstyles/hair colours on haechan and tell me why in detail

how would you describe haechan to a friend?

if haechan were a demon, what are the five items (doesn't necessarily have to be 'items' either) you're using in the pentagram to summon him?

6 reasons why you like him? (short answers. bullet points. essays - just give my man some loooove)

if you had haechan as a contact in your phone, what would his contact name be?

what do you think people overlook or may miss about haechan? something you wish he got more credit for? (something like that - 'you may miss at first glance if you're not looking at him the way I am' kinda thing)

fuck. so many options. i want him to do that silver/white hair colour again from superhuman and get appreciated more for it. loved that red on him. purple too...... black. i don't actually know.

i think an actual conversation i've had about him is - *onslaught of photos* he's my baby. what do you think of him? // i approve. he's pretty. // i'm glad you know.

personally - kimchi jjigae, his camera, renjun, bucket hat, anything remotely related to michael jackson.

always wins. incredibly clever and witty. belongs on stage (everywhere) - he just knows where to look/how to act etc. articulate speaker. his smile and laughs. SO RNB ORIENTATED.

here's his options; (1) jjigae (2) beba (3) kiddo (4) baby (5) sunshine sunmine (not really it just came to my head) (6) the reason i'm going to die an early death

he's seriously overworked (not a secret) but i think he thrives from it? like take his hiatus for example - it was like he was restless throughout the whole thing. i think his stage has oddly become his comfort space?

listen, purple is my favourite colour but this just does not feel right.

Listen, having to change my color palette on the app doesn’t make it any better 😭 OKAY OKAY LEMME ANSWER.

1. PURPLE. it’s my favorite color overall so it’s kinda 🤭biased but purple hyuck really has a special place in my heart. Black haired hyuck makes me..feral. Like I literally become another thing I’m not even human atp I might as well be a dog bc I’m barking and howling at the moon for black haired hyuck. Lastly (and I don’t think we’ve gotten this like in actuality but have had a taste of it) I want BLUE HAIRED HYUCK. y’all know Jeno and Nana and even mark ROCK The blue hair,, just let hyuck have it please I’ll literally PAY. 👰‍♀️

2. (This is giving me butterflies just thinking about it) okay how would I describe him to a friend,, I’d probably say he’s the light on the darkest days. His smile instantly brings smiles to everyone around him and he’s funny,,the kind of funny that makes your stomach hurt when you laugh too much. He’s kind and caring and the most considerate person I think I haven’t had the pleasure of meeting yet and boy is he clingy, but if he wanted me to I’d hold him and never let him go and tell him how much he is appreciated and loved and how deserving he is of all he has and will become.

3. IF HYUCK WAS A DEMON PLEASE LET HIM BE MY DEMON PLEASE EITHER HIM OR RENJUN LETS BE HONEST. Ehm I’ll be setting up my lil pentagram w ofc a steaming hot bowl of kimchi jjigae, the nail ring the dreamies wear, a hoverboard from chewing gum, a Michael Jackson vinyl (thriller ofc) and probably doyoung so hyuck has something to do when I’m at work 🤭

4. Only 6?? Okay,, that’ll be hard but I’ll narrow it down. (1) his dedication to his music and performances makes my heart feel full (2) his laugh, oh boy his laugh really just replays in my head whenever I hear it sometime throughout the day on a video or etc. god I love his laugh. (3) the way he loves and takes care of his younger members in nct but also cherishes and absorbs all the love from the older (specifically 127) members. (4) his teasing of his members and even the fans, he just knows which buttons to push and when to stop and I cannot tell you how bad I’ve laughed w this boy just egging the dreamies (5) his entire fucking existence likee 🤕🫶 (6) his voice,, it literally gives me chills and I cannot describe the serotonin boost I get when I see him on my feed,, also his stage presence?? IMMACULATE. FUCKING. IMMACULATE.

5. POOKIE BEAR is one, hyuck 🫶 is another, the bane of my existence (affectionate) is another one I think of a lot, baby daddy is def a crowd favorite and lastly my sun 🫶

6. Honestly I wish people paid more attention to him when he’s feeling dejected and idk if it’s obvious, but he deals w a lot (I’m not him so idk this factually but I think it’s worse w the dreamies) and kinda keeps to himself when he looks like he’s down in his mood and it’s just sad bc people love him and appreciate him but at the same time walk all over him and it’s just sad,, I just think sometimes some things are taken too far and it hurts him more than we know—so I want people to appreciate the fact that he takes shit w a grain of salt when it comes to some things

[mingi-bubu]

Scenario Updates~

KPop Scenarios

I've moved the Mingi birthday trilogy into one document, so that means I can make some headway into the rest of my Taehyung T.A. au, and get started on my Mark high school au.

I have my seventeen hockey au also sort of done. I need to take another look at it again, and finish talking about the members.

And speaking of hockey, I am going to redo/finish the NCT U hockey au I created because of the “90's Love” MV.

I have a sort-of follow-up to the fledgling vampire!tyong au I posted a while back that involves other members and the creatures they are. Yes, this is just an excuse for me to talk about selkie!Hendery and basilisk!Ten.

I, of course, still have my Doyoung and Mingyu university aus that I'm working on/super need to finish. Not to jinx myself, but I really think I might get either of them done this month. Probably Doie's bc his has a lot more written than Gyu's.

I have a Taeyong enemies to lovers university scenario started, and I'm kind of loving the #bants between Johnny and YN.

My VAV Jacob university au is also probably going to come back again. Because I miss talking about my guys. And also Cobi hot. a;ldfkjsdlk

I have changed the Younghoon x reader x Hongjoong into a Younghoon x reader x Mingi. …okay, well, in my mind it's been changed. I have to actually implement it in the story.

And then I have a Junhee uni au that I started in like. September of 2020 that I promptly forgot existed after I got five paragraphs in.

CPop Scenarios

I moved all the QCYNarios into one document, so it should be easier for me to start writing them again.

I am also going to be updating the ones that are already posted to fix grammar, mainly. But I am also going to be fixing parts of it that I think are weaker.

Out of all 20 QCYNarios, a strong majority are either in-progress or yet to be written.

In my Xunario alternate ending where YN chooses Mingming instead, I have four parts of it. Two and a half are done, but I'm waiting to finish all four before posting it sequentially each week. So, like, one per week until it's all posted. I'm enjoying going back into this universe where I'm focusing on it and not the threads that stem from it.

Both

Fictober22 & 76 Kisses are both still in progress

Fictober22 has only a few left that I haven't started. A majority of them, though, are all still in progress.

76 Kisses has so many that are open to be claimed. I have a feeling that a few of the last prompts are going to become fanfic prompts, not scenario ones..

[shinestarteaa]

Going to scream about this here too! And instead of agendas they'll just be random posts so I hope u enjoy!

[jangsxntiger]

[ NCT 127 Being Caught In A Compromising Position ] -

Warnings: 18 + Content

AFAB Reader

Masterlist

➳ Taeil - 

It’s going to start with a huge sigh because honestly, he’s a little mad about being interrupted - he’s almost thirty, he ought to be able to bone his girlfriend without getting disturbed

It’s probably going to be Yuta who opens the doorway unannounced and when he makes some inappropriate comment, Taeil finally blushes and tells him to get out of the room

Taeil is a little flustered about the whole thing, but once he’s locked the bedroom door, he is pretty happy to continue

When he walks into the kitchen a little later, you can bet Yuta has told someone else about the interruption and they send a few teasing comments Taeil’s way, but they bounce right off (seriously, I think Taeil has just learnt to ignore 99% of what comes out of the mouths of his friends)

➳ Johnny -

Johnny’s biggest concern is making sure you’re comfortable and covered so he’ll actually be pretty slow to look at whoever just opened the door

He’s going to sigh quietly and whilst he’s a little annoyed (a lot because it was just beginning to get steamy), he won’t show it - in fact, he’ll probably go after whoever walked in to make sure everything is alright because he does try and be responsible

Once he’s sure though he’ll absolutely end the conversation like: ‘Okay, if that’s all I’m going to go and finish what I started.’ He partly says it as a joke, partly to stop anyone interrupting again and he really doesn’t care how hard they blush. 

He picks up right where he left off as if nothing had happened at all 

➳ Taeyong -

First and foremost he’s going to be embarrassed - scarlet-faced and jumping away from you as if he isn’t a grown man in the privacy of his bedroom, as if it wasn’t the fault of whoever just burst in unannounced

Taeyong is absolutely the sort to feel the need to apologise - he’ll apologise to you for putting you in such a situation (even though you’re more than okay with getting hot and heavy again) before he goes in search of whoever walked in to apologise to them too

He’s shy and awkward and the mood is very much ruined by the time he returns and it’s probably enough to put him off getting down and dirty in the dorm for a while

➳ Yuta - 

Yuta doesn’t care at all, like at all. The only reason he’s stopping is because you’re underneath him slapping his shoulder. 

He’s going to pull away real slow, a frown already set into his features ready for whoever just walked in and the hands that had been wandering beneath your shirt aren’t going to go far 

Honestly whoever was at the door is gone the moment they realise just what they walked in on - they’ve all known Yuta long enough to know that after cursing them out he’ll go right back to what he was doing, whether they’re still watching or not

Yuta really just doesn’t care - he’s got his girlfriend half-naked beneath him and unless the dorm is on fire, or his manager is calling for him, the world can wait

➳ Doyoung -

Doyoung will deny anything less than PG was happening beneath his duvet to the day he dies

He hears the door opening and forces a few inches between your bodies, entirely oblivious to the state of his ruffled hair, the creases your fingers have twisted into his t-shirt

He is calm and collected, cooly laughing at whatever the person says to him and he is convinced they are none the wiser to what they just walked in on

When the intruder leaves once more, Doyoung is a little proud of his performance so you definitely have to swat him on the shoulder, but he doesn't leave you waiting long before he drapes himself over you again

➳ Jaehyun -

This happens after a long overdue date night - Jaehyun somehow persuaded his group mates to give you the entire dorm for a few hours (it’s been a while and he has a lot to catch up on)

It’s almost two am and Jaehyun is soft and slow until he hears the door open

He’s another whose first concern is making sure nothing inappropriate is on display, but he’s going to be caught somewhere between embarrassment and frustration and will probably quietly ask the person if something is the matter (seriously, if you’re going at it, I don’t even think he’d pull out)

Whoever it is, they’re slow to leave, groaning: ‘You’ve had all evening.’ (It’s probably poor Jungwoo who just wants to go to sleep)

Jaehyun replies something like: ‘I know, I know, just get out.’

And whilst the pink flare across his features betrays his fluster, all it’ll take is a look from you and he’ll go right back to it, only quicker and harder 

➳ Jungwoo -

Jungwoo is number one on the play-it-dumb list - someone comes in and he immediately jumps away from you, as if whoever just interrupted hasn’t already seen what was happening - his hands up your shirt, his tongue down your throat

He’ll probably stumble over some excuse as to what was really going on, all the while his cheeks are burning like they never have before

After a moment he’ll run out of things to say and will flee beneath the duvet and all he can manage for the rest of the evening is a cuddle (he even avoids leaving his bed in case he runs into anyone, he is so embarrassed)

➳ Mark -

Mark freezes and you can bet his blood runs cold the moment he meets the eye of whoever just opened the door

Where Johnny immediately flips you over or pulls the blanket over your body so he can deal with it, Mark absolutely leaves you in the lurch, staring at whichever group mate is responsible for the disturbance without saying anything

Eventually, he’ll give an awkward laugh and be like: ‘Yo, uh, can I help?’ (Please no one ever put Mark in this situation, I think he’d die)

➳ Haechan -

Is Haechan embarrassed? Probably a little. But does he show it? Absolutely not.

He instantly turns whiny, calling out whoever just opened the door (Haechan is another one who won’t pull out unless absolutely necessary and you’re both covered so he’s not going anywhere)

He might be the youngest in 127, but he doesn’t care, in fact, it probably makes him care even less

Afterwards, when you’re dozing in his bed and he’s playing a game on his computer, Johnny will walk in and make some comment about the earlier intrusion, but Haechan just smirks

He definitely has the attitude: Yeah I’m Haechan and yeah I just did my girlfriend

[yunopouts]

02:17 am - nct 127

-> taeil x gf! reader (suggestive content)

-> crack, suggestive

-> w: making out, cursing, the members and reader are very drunk (alcohol consumption), injury (reader hits her head)

-> a/n: a blurb for while you wait for come on mess me up! also please drink responsibly— no matter if you’re drinking with people you trust, like your friends or family, or on your own. I am so sorry i have nothing better to do with my life since my exams are over-

“You guys…” you mumbled, one hand sliding over your chest. “You guys, I think I have three tits.” Johnny looked over at you, a dazed look on his face. His mouth was hanging open slightly but he gave no response to your sudden discovery.

“Ha! I doubt it.” Haechan snorted, staring down at his phone, tapping away at the game on his screen.

“Imagine the power of three boobs.” Taeyong muttered from beside you.

“Imagine the power of four.” Jungwoo said. “Fuck those all day.” He mumbled, turning on his side and shutting his eyes.

“You guys, I really think I have three boobs.” You moaned, tears welling up in your eyes. “Where did it come from?”

“Your boobies fell in love and had a baby booby… duh.” Yuta said. “Dude, why are you crying? I literally just told you a love story.” The older boy turned his head to the left, where a boy had his head in the palms of his hands, sobbing softly.

“Cause she’s crying.” Mark sniffled.

The whines and sobs coming from the two of you only grew louder as you heard one another cry.

“Where is my boyfriend?” You thrashed around on the floor.

“Someone get her her boyfriend!” Mark screeched, tears streaming down his face.

“What is going on?” Taeil’s voice entered the room. Seeing as he had just got home, Taeil turned to Doyoung, who is normally the sober one, but today he just slurred his words and fell into Johnny’s lap.

With a gasp, you scrambled up from the floor and risked getting carpet burn as you quickly dragged your bare feet to get to the man standing in the doorway.

“Babe,” you grabbed his wrist and put it to your chest. “I have to tell you something.”

“Why are you crying?” He asked you, putting his free hand on your tear stained cheek. “Why is she crying?”

“Your girlfriend has three titties!” Jaehyun yelled, holding a glass bottle in the air, a gold liquid sloshing around at the bottom.

Taeil let out a noise of confusion and looked back to you, who was nodding.

“It’s true.” You said. “I-it’s right here a-and it’s hard— see look!” You pressed the man’s hand harder into your chest.

You were right, there was something hard in the valley of your breasts, but Taeil didn’t think it was a third boob. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”

“It’s okay baby, but can I ask you a question?”

“Yes, of course.” You gripped on to his hand tightly. Taeil smiled and squeezed back softly.

The man leaned in and whispered, “Can I touch you?” You gasped lightly, pulling away only to giggle, your face scrunching up.

“Not in front of your friends.” A sheepish smile graced your lips and you smacked him in the chest lightly. “Let’s go to the bathroom.”

Taeil took a deep breath and let it go, keeping quiet as he followed you down the hall.

As soon as the door shut, your lips crashed on to Taeil’s, messily tasting him. With your back against the wooden door, Taeil moaned into your mouth when he felt your nails dig into his shirt covered back.

You tasted strongly of the strawberry vodka Haechan brought. His lips moved down to your neck, barely even sucking on the skin. One of Taeil’s hands dropped to your ass, playing with the bottom of your skirt, while the other one trailed up your side.

He groped your covered breast but it continued to move.

You gasped at the feeling of his cold fingers against your hot skin, but the sensation didn’t last for long since he pulled out. “Were you, by any chance, playing beer pong?” His breath fanned out on the skin of your neck.

You gasped loudly, eyes wide at the sight of a small orange ball.

“My boob is gone!” You squealed, snatching it out of your boyfriend's grasp.

Running out of the bathroom, you stopped mid stride and turned back, speeding back into the bathroom. Grabbing Taeil’s cheeks, you pressed your lips to his. “Mwah!” You pulled back, grinning at him before stumbling out again.

“You guys! It was a- ow!” There was a loud bang and then a thud. It took Taeil a second before he rushed out to find you on the floor, crying softly.

Taking you in his arms, Taeil held you and hushed your groans of pain, looking up when the door opened, revealing eight boys crowding around the frame.

“It’s not a third boob!” You weakly raised your hand, showing them the ball.

The boys cheered loudly at the discovery.

“No more tri-tits!” They exclaimed.

[alohajun]

♡ I'M SORRY — KIM DOYOUNG

doyoung x fem!reader | wc : 0.9k words | content : possible grammar and spelling mistakes, lowercase intended, angst, established relationship, mentions of road accident, mentions of blood, crying, mentions of the words ‘dying’ and ‘kill’ | request : do you write angst? if so, can you write a doyoung (treasure) angst? if not, a doyoung fluff please :) | loki's lines : do i write angst?! yes, i do and it always leaves me in tears. but anywho you asked and i provided … but at what cost ?? ToT we gots a part 2 coming up tho bc i’m not about to kill off doyoung o_O

"this is all your fault."

"oh, come on, it can happen to anyone. i'm sorry, okay?" you apologised, holding your boyfriend, doyoung's hand as you two started walking back again to your apartment. you left the invite for the party back at home and didn't realise until you arrived near the hall.

you weren’t far from your place. in fact, just a few buildings away. the two of you walked back, with doyoung grumbling the whole way.

"sorry won't cut it. i told you we should go in the car. who walks to a party? especially when you are wearing a fancy dress?" doyoung bit back a smile, looking away to keep his charade.

"fine, fine, my bad. it was just nearby! i didn't think taking the car would be necessary. i'm sorry, baby!" you hugged his arm, smiling at him, poking his cheeks as you prompted him to smile.

"i was just playing, yeah? you don’t need to be sorry. gosh, you are adorable." doyoung cooed, pinching your cheeks as he placed a chaste kiss on your forehead before running away as you raised your hand to hit him.

"kim doyoung! come here!" you ran behind him, having enough experience with running in heels to pull it off.

the light turned red, and the cars came to a stop. doyoung continued his teasing as he ran across the crossing, sticking his tongue out as he mocked out. you couldn't help but laugh as he did a little dance. 

you walked towards him, shaking your head to yourself. a distinct and loud zoom stopped you in your place as you looked to the side, seeing an oncoming bike despite the red light. 

just as you turned to warn your boyfriend, your gaze was filled with a slo-mo version of the speeding bike hitting doyoung, throwing him a few feet away at the impact.

just as you turned to warn your boyfriend, your gaze was filled with a slo-mo version of the speeding bike hitting doyoung, causing him to fly a few feet away at the impact.

"doyoung!" your scream filled the air as you ran towards him, heart beating against your chest as you froze upon seeing his state. 

there was a lot of blood, and you shakily took out your phone as you kneeled next to doyoung's half-conscious body, trying to call the ambulance.

"i called for help, they said they'll be here in ten minutes."

the phone fell out of your hands and tears filled your vision as you held doyoung in your arms, hesitantly touching his face. hot tears streamed down your face and fell onto his, pulling him out of the dazed state he was in.

"y/n?" he called out, and you whimpered, nodding as more sobs escaped your lips. you shook your head, gripping onto the sides of his suit, wordlessly asking him to stay with you. "you have t-to talk to m-me, y/n. how e-else am i g-going to stay a-awake?"

"i'm sorry." you cried, sobbing harder when you felt doyoung's hands caress your face. "doyoung, please stay. stay for me. don't go. don't close your eyes. please. i'm sorry," you rambled, wiping away your tears as you tried to stay strong for your boyfriend.

as he saw how you struggled to breathe, doyoung felt concerned — despite being the one in need of the most medical attention. 

"hey, hey. take a b-breath. calm d-down. i know it's difficult, but c-calm down," he spoke, scrunching his face as he felt a sharp pain go through his body.

you wiped away the tears that kept falling down your face, taking a deep breath. "stop nagging for once and let me cry and panic in peace. argh, this is all my fault. if i got the invite, then none of this wouldn't happen. i am really sorry, i really am." 

you ignored doyoung's words when he tried telling you it wasn't your fault. rambling about many things, not even knowing what you spoke about or what language; you just rambled, wanting to have doyoung conscious for when the ambulance came.

"i like th-this view," doyoung interrupted your chattering, smiling despite the pain. "this is a r-really good angle o-of you."

"now is really not the time, doyoung."

you heaved a breath as he held your hands, partially to assure you and partially because he was in a lot of pain and needed something — or someone — to hold. 

though you couldn't compare to the pain, you knew doyoung was in a lot of pain, and let him hold on to your hand as tightly as he wanted.

even though it felt like your fingers were being crushed by his grip, you held it in, knowing your pain was practically nothing compared to what he felt.

"hey ..." he spoke, and you opened your mouth to shut him up, because he really shouldn't be talking this much. "...if i don't make it, i just hope you know how much i love you, yeah? i really love you a lot. and if possible, i want you to look out for my brother, because he can be a stupid idi-"

"no, no, no. don't give me these 'last words' talk. you are going to be perfectly alright, and you will be the one to look out for your brother. no, just no. i will not let you leave me. if you even think about dying, i'm going to kill you."

"i love you so much, y/n."

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