#doubt they expected their plan to succeed this well tho

[mamamittens]

Onsen Delights (+18)

Day#5 of December Event 2022!

Fandom: One Piece

Ship: AceXOC(Saki)

Warnings: Nudity, possessiveness, dirty talk, unsafe sex, filthy sex, creampie, mating press, and biting/marking. Not necessarily in that order.

Word Count: 4,134

@spitfire-of-the-sea

If I need to make any changes, let me know!

It happens from time to time that a storm system moves by the Moby Dick and makes efficient travel impossible. Usually, it’s more along the lines of a hurricane or thunderstorm—rarely staying longer than a few days. But surprisingly for once, it was an entire artic winter system. And they were visiting an island at the time.

In short, the whole ship was beset in ice before they could reasonably leave, which was very impressive considering the sheer size of their ship. So, until the ice was sufficiently melted (or one of the commanders or Whitebeard got bored and broke the ice without damaging the hull), they were locked in place. The fact that this didn’t happen immediately could be contributed to only one simple fact.

The island was famed for hot springs and onsens. As well as their booze.

And they certainly weren’t going to turn down good business.

To keep down in fighting it was decided that parts of the crew would enjoy the amenities of the island at a time. Commanders with their crews and a small portion of those that didn’t get to go with their division to keep the ship running properly. It wouldn’t be a good idea if the entire kitchen staff was let off at the same time, or the medical division after all. Ace was just glad that he happened to be off with a good portion of his old crew. It had been a while since they’d hung out as a group—their responsibilities keeping them elsewhere most of the time.

Thatch tossed his arm over Ace’s shoulder with a rough chuckle, handing him a pass with his name engraved on it. A keepsake the island gave out for their inn with private onsens.

“Don’t forget, your room will have your name on the left side of the door. It’s near the more secluded onsens too.” Thatch winked, “Commander privilege.” He explained. Ace scoffed.

“I heard you the first time, Thatch! Geez, I’m not that forgetful!” Ace shoved the older man away with a laugh. For some reason, several of his brothers had been very insistent on reminding him where his room was. It reeked of a prank of some kind, but Ace was never one to turn down a challenge.

And they couldn’t do anything too destructive since they’d have to explain to Whitebeard why damages needed to be paid. He’d laugh it off, probably, but everyone tended to be embarrassed when it came time to explain the more disastrous incidences to their captain and father.

Regardless, Thatch sighed, ruffling his hair, before shrugging.

“Alright, I got it. You’re a big boy and can handle yourself. We just want to spoil our little brother—is that a crime?” Thatch bemoaned with the most fake ass tears in the corner of his eyes. Ace briefly contemplated shoving his boot into Thatch’s face but decided the best response was to ignore the dramatics completely and get cleaned up for the onsen. “Ah! My concern is being brushed off like snowflakes! Marco! Our baby brother doesn’t love me anymore! What do I do?!”

“Die I guess, yoi.”

“Marco you ass!”

Ace cackled as he retreated into the building, finding the bathing section for the onsen marked on his pass. A kindly old woman presented him with a package for the bath and Ace made sure to keep his manners in mind, bowing deeply as he accepted the bundle.

“Thank you, ma’am. I apologize in advance for my rowdy crew.” Ace offered. She laughed softly, wrinkled skin bending around her lips in humor.

“Oh, don’t you worry about me, young man. You’re hardly the worst pirate crew I’ve served in our inn. Enjoy yourself, you hear me? That’ll be thanks enough for this old woman.” She declared before shuffling off to tend to something else. Ace smiled and did just that.

Making sure to wash himself thoroughly before grabbing a towel and heading into one of the private onsen. There were several small areas separated by walls for private parties or small groups in a larger party. Likely in case families want to enjoy the hot springs but didn’t want to mingle with in laws or children at the same time. It was hard to say, really. Snow fell in light flurries, melting inches before the ground from the heat. Paper lanterns were hung from the walls as lighting, giving off a hazy amber glow.

He didn’t notice the small figure in the mist above the water at first, focused on setting aside his hat and towel where it wouldn’t get wet. His devil fruit made such luxuries as this a… bit of a gamble. But thankfully with practice shallow pools were no issue for him. Aside from lack of access to his powers, he suffered no side effects from the waters. Glancing across the area Ace felt his heart stutter.

“Saki!” Ace instinctively cried out in joy, completely ruining the sight before him.

His old crewmate-turned-reluctant-Whitebeard-nurse jerked out of her relaxed state. Leaning against the far rock outcropping with a towel over her eyes, completely naked under the glow of the lamplight. Blond hair silver and gold against her bare, white skin. She hissed in surprise, gray eyes narrowed at him before pausing in shock.

“Ace? Ack! What are you doing?!” Saki yelped, arms splashing in the water to cover her breasts. Ace pouted, ignoring the throb of his dick.

“What a weird question, what’s it look like I’m doing?” Ace scoffed, brushing off the obvious issue with his presence. He treaded closer to his friend, eyes helplessly drawn across her damp skin.

So, he… may have a problem. A Saki-specific problem. Usually, it wasn’t that much of an issue. He hid it well… well enough. But found himself inevitably drawn to her anytime she was around. And it was really coming back to bite him in the ass.

Not that he was a perv or anything but… Saki looked really fucking good right now. Skin flush with heat and dewy, hair pulled back off her neck except for rogue strands that clung to her body, and the mist from the hot spring a hazy film that drew his eyes to her arms. Arms that mostly served to push up her breasts and begged to be touched, to see if they were as soft as they looked.

“Oi! Eyes up here, Ace!” Ace flushed, grinning apologetically in a way that usually earned him forgiveness faster from Saki, as he looked at her eyes. Dark mole under the corner of her right eye prominent even in the soft light.

“…Sorry, Saki.” Ace mumbled, reaching out to stroke her shoulder without thinking. A gesture he’d done countless times—a side effect of his ‘Saki-problem’. His fingers slipped over her damp skin and he briefly marveled at the sensation. He felt his core tighten as heat throbbed, familiar arousal teasing him for being a coward.

“Hey, you still haven’t explained why you’re here right now, Ace! You’re supposed to go to the section next to your room!” Saki explained. “This is the women’s area.” Ace whined, once again thinking only with his dick as he buried his face in her shoulder. Her soft, natural scent strong as she yelped, hands pushing against his chest to dislodge his weight.

“This place is so confusing! I thought I was in the right section! How was I supposed to knooooowwwwww, Sah-kiiiii?” Ace whined, lips brushing over her neck as he briefly forgot the situation. Mainly, his erection.

But damn if he didn’t remember suddenly as the tip brushed across her plush thighs. Ace groaned, shuddering softly as he wrapped his arms around her frame.

“Ace!” Saki hissed, poking his abdomen hard to no avail. “You! Are! Naked! Get off me!” It took all of his willpower to stay still. Uncertain if he’d be able to refrain from exposing himself if he moved.

“…soft.” Ace huffed, brushing his hands down her shoulders as he clearly felt her heartbeat through her back. She stiffened, breasts brushing across his chest.

It felt like a dream. Like the best dream—the kind he only seemed to get moments before he was rudely awakened for one reason or another.

“A-Ace! I can feel you, you know!?” Saki hissed, grabbing his hair and tugging, earning a sharp groan as he reflexively pressed against her body. “G-Get out and take care of it, damnit! Stop digging it in!”

Ace huffed.

“What’s the point? It’ll just come right back when I see you…” Ace groaned.

His eyes popped open in horror.

He just admitted to being turned on by his best friend.

Chronically hard at the sight of her.

Saki was also frozen, shocked and likely disgusted.

“…What did you just say?” Saki whispered, fingertips delicately pressed into his spine. Her heart fluttered under his palms.

Ace cleared his throat and nervously pulled back, flustered and horrified.

“Ah-haha! Nothing! Nothing! I-I just—you know what, you’re right! I’m in the wrong place! I should go—” Ace started to the exit quickly, “I’m an idiot, I can’t believe I got lost! I’ll n-never live it down! You definitely don’t want me here—why would you—”

“Why wouldn’t I?!” Saki barked. Ace froze, one foot on the stone pathway and ass totally exposed as he looked over his shoulder. She also paused, face flushed as she looked around desperately, hands waving around in embarrassment. “I-I mean, y-you’re here to relax! Not to b-b-bother with me—uhm, why… why would you want to be in here when you could be enjoying some alone time! Big ship! Big crew! N-Not a lot of space to be alone, is there! N-Not that I’ve thought about that—of course not!”

Ace slowly stepped back into the water; eyes locked on Saki as she floundered to cover her ass. Completely exposing herself to him in the meantime as he slowly began to grin.

So… maybe there was a mutual problem between them after all?

She only fell silent when she realized he was right in front of her. His hands planted on the stones beside her, caging her in as he grinned. Eyes burning into her.

“It sure is a big crew.” Ace began, much to her obvious confusion. “And a big ship… weird how I keep finding my way to you. Every time you walk into a room, I’m right there. When we eat. Party. Plan. Fight. If you’re there… I’m right beside you. I don’t even notice when it happens—it feels so natural. It feels natural being with you… don’t you think so?” Ace asked softly, still grinning a little wildly as his heart was pounding.

Maybe it was the heat and winter air mixing around them making him dizzy. Maybe it was how close he was to Saki’s everything right now. Her most intimate and soft places totally within arm’s reach. Or maybe his head was spinning because for the first time, he seriously suspected that she liked him too.

“Yeah… yeah it does.” Saki admits quietly, her words brushing across his lips as he leaned in closer. Her eyes glanced away anxiously. “…C-Cause we’re such great friends, right?”

“And we want to be more, right?” Ace echoed, enjoying the shock as her eyes widened, pupils constricting as she looked back at him. Then the gray shrank, turning into a slim ring of silver and gold, reflected candlelight.

His whole body tensed. Teeth clenched as the confirmation struck him down to his heels before she even said a word.

“Fuck yes…” Saki whispered, eyes wide still with shock. The sound of her voice going straight to his cock as he pressed his lips against hers, slipping his arms around her body.

He pressed his body against hers completely, hands rubbing over her skin and squeezing the soft curves. Her moan buzzed against his lips as her head tipped back. Leaning into his embrace eagerly. His cock nestled perfectly between her thighs, accidentally sliding across her hot cunt. Ace groaned, pulling back as they panted for air.

Testing, Ace gripped her ass and gently thrust into her thighs. Something hotter and more slick than water covering his cock as Saki gripped his biceps with a moan.

“Ngh.” Ace grunted, relishing the feeling a moment longer before huffing. “Too fast?” He asked hoarsely. Saki shook her head.

“N-No… but maybe we shouldn’t dirty the water.” Saki laughed, moaning as he thrust his hips forward harshly again, just to see her reaction.

“But you look good like this.” Ace groaned, gently grabbing a fistful of hair to pull her back, presenting her breasts to him. He eagerly took advantage of her willingness, still grinding against her as he tested the soft skin with his teeth and tongue.

Softer and more malleable than he ever dreamed of, the pale skin was easily marked under his teeth and lips.

“A-Ace~!” Saki whined, reaching back to pull his hair as she shook, her thighs trembling around his cock. “S-Stop! W-We might get s-seen!” Ace dug under her trapped breast with his tongue, popping the nipple into his mouth hungrily. Still fucking her thighs.

The blood was rushing between his head and cock, muddying his thoughts outside of how fucking good she felt. A delight to his senses—all of them.

But then he remembered that this wasn’t entirely a private area. Anyone from his division could come in at any time.

They could see what he was doing to Saki at any moment.

Huffing, heat building in his chest, Ace released her tit from his mouth and looked at her face. She was flushed and panting, eyes almost closed as she cried out softly with every thrust of his cock against her cunt.

Absolutely not.

No one was going to get to see this.

His cock screamed, on the edge of release as he pulled away completely. His hands gently guiding her out of the water.

“You’re right.” Ace huffed. “We should take this to my room.” Saki stumbled, legs trembling as they got out of the water. Partially because he wanted to make sure she wasn’t soaking wet when they walked to his room, Ace briskly patted her off with his towel. Unable to resist kissing her skin as he pressed the fabric against it.

He managed to mark her breasts without a word but Saki shoved him when he tried to do the same to her thighs. Ace scoffed but allowed it… for the moment.

He wasn’t holding back when they got to his room though.

Carefully tucking her dry towel over her body, Ace knotted the damp fabric of his at his waist, scooping up his hat and placing it on her head.

Ace didn’t bother with anything else, dragging her behind him as he looked for his room. Once he spotted it—having thankfully never run into anyone else along the way—he reached for the door.

“I-I thought we were going to your room?” Saki whispered. Ace glanced at her with a raised brow.

“We are?” Ace lifted up his hand with hers, the wooden plate reading his name as he gestured to the left side of the door. “See? It’s got my name.”

Saki reached out and opened the door.

“I put my stuff away before I went to bath…” Saki explained.

Ace looked into the room and, to his surprise, she was right. Her things were packed away neatly next to the large futon. Toiletry bag placed near the bathroom door with her hairbrush.

“…They told me to make sure I went to the right room. Thatch even told me twice to look for my name on the left side.” Ace muttered, slowly leading the two of them into the room. Suddenly, he laughed. “Hah! Hey, think they were trying to set us up?” Ace asked.

Saki chuckled, cheeks burning as she nodded.

“Yeah… I think so. I was told the same, but on the right side.”

“Huh… Anyway! Where were we?” Ace asked, scooping Saki up into his arms and tossing her down onto the futon. He kneeled over her, gently removing her towel with a grin. “That’s right… we were right here, weren’t we?” Ace kissed her breasts, reaching up to cradle them in his hands. Their plush weight spilling over between his fingers.

“A-Ace!” Saki moaned in surprise as he licked up at her nipple, worrying the bud between his teeth before sucking it into his mouth hungrily. Her nails dug into his shoulders and scalp as she cried out. He fed off of her reactions and the delightfully soft skin of her breasts in equal measure. Heartbeat pulsing on his tongue as he groaned. Not one to hold back, he gave the other the same treatment, leaving marks along her supple skin.

His erection ached fiercely, reminding him of how soft her thighs were.

And with that reminder, Ace moved down. Nipping at the soft skin of her stomach as he groped her waist. Restlessly, her legs kicked under him, catching on the towel and ripping it off. But Ace was focused only on one thing.

Her thighs spilled over his hands as he slowly pulled them apart. Sinfully soft under his lips and teeth as he nipped the plush skin. And as eager as he was to mark her thighs—that haunted him for months after he saw her wear a bikini once—his mouth watered for something… sweeter.

Ace’s tongue parted her cunt in a firm lick, Saki’s whole body jolting in surprise as he toyed with her clit. Lapping at it as he reluctantly released one of her thighs to play with her body. Slipping his fingers into the growing mess before dipping inwards. Stretching her out slowly. Her hands anchored in his hair as she cried out noisily for him. And he kissed her pussy like it would silence her mewling lips. Tongue forcing his fingers apart as he tasted her. Only driving her to cry out louder.

He knew he was likely bruising her thigh as he gripped it, but he only sought to keep her still under him. To fight off her instinct to buck against him. Ace grinned and panted against her cunt.

“Thanks for the meal.” Ace laughed before diving in, ignoring Saki’s embarrassed screech. Curling his fingers against her walls as she clenched down against him. His tongue dripping with spit and arousal. His cock ached and smeared precum on the bed, but he was far from done.

Finally releasing her thigh, Ace moved both his hands to her waist, lifting her body up for him. Eagerly eating out her dripping cunt as she squeezed against his face. It fell from his chin as he ate her out messily, the lewd sounds turning him on further as he thrust his tongue in deep. Curling up against a spot that made her tremble relentlessly.

“A-Ace! Ace! O-Oh Ace—y-yes! Ah~!” Saki moaned, arching up into his lips and hands, creaming on his tongue. Ace swallowed harshly, lapping up the excess and chasing it as it ran down her thighs eagerly. Cleaning up her soaked cunt, lungs aching as he caught his breath.

“You’re lucky I’m hard as a rock, Saki. Otherwise you wouldn’t get me off your sweet lips with sea stone.” Ace panted, wiping off his chin with a grin. Saki was flushed and panting, eyes wet with unshed tears.

“S-Shut the fuck up, Ace!” Saki whined. Ace pressed a cheeky kiss to her clit.

“The only way you’ll do that is if you let me kiss you.” Ace winked, licking her trembling cunt again. Saki reached down and pulled him up. Slamming her lips into his with a moan.

Ace chuckled against her lips, lifting up one of her legs to place it on his shoulder. Bracing himself on one hand, Ace let his cock slip against her cunt. Coating it in the mixture of spit and arousal before placing the tip against her. With his tongue dominating the kiss, he was treated to the intimate feeling of her moan as he split her open. Hotter than the water they left, Ace groaned as he slowly bottomed up in the tight squeeze.

Despite his aching cock, Ace kept a slow pace. Thrusting against Saki as he tasted her soft cries. Crowding her against the futon as she was pinned open for him. He made sure to reach deeply, panting into her lips as he started going faster. Harder.

“Ace!” Saki yelped, her ankle digging into his spine. Ace let go of her leg, now confident she would hold onto him. Roughly toying with her breasts as he slammed against her thighs, causing her whole body to jerk under him.

“I’m not too much for you, am I Saki?” Ace taunted, eyeing her bouncing tits and the many marks he made. “Not regretting letting me fuck you in half, are you?”

“No! N-No! A-Ace—ooooh! Ace! Ace!” Saki cried out, trembling around him as he kissed her exposed neck. Tasting her heartbeat with his tongue. Her other leg curled around his hips, pulling him closer as he bit down hard. Groaning as she clenched down on his thick cock.

“Fuck yes. Keep it up, pretty baby. Take it for me.” Ace groaned, bracing himself as he picked up her other leg and threw it over his shoulder. Now railing into her plush thighs hard. “Fuck! Look at you, fucked out on my cock. You like that? Like being split open on my cock, baby?” Ace growled.

Saki nodded, the motion stuttered under his rough thrusts.

“Yes! Yes! I-I love it!” Saki mewled, trembling and crying out for him.

“Then why aren’t you cumming for me? Do I need to fuck you harder, Sa-ki?” Ace panted, shoving his knees under her body to lift up her hips. “This is all for you. It’s only fair that you take everything that’s yours… and I take everything that’s mine. What do you need Sa-ki ba-by? Tell me what will make you cum.”

“O-Oh, yes! A-Ace please f-fuck me harder~!” Saki moaned. Ace eager to do so, slammed down against her, letting the bounce against her ass grow harsh as he fucked her. “C-Cum! I-I w-want it! Please!” Saki screamed.

Ace, startled, slamming down to the hilt and without thought, came. Pouring into her quivering cunt as she moaned, squeezing his pulsing cock. The both of them riding out their high.

Ace was stunned. She… actually came just from that... Slowly, carefully, Ace pulled out. Watching the thick mixture drip from her cunt. His cock throbbed as he grew hard again.

Ace grinned, effortlessly holding up her trembling body as he bit her thigh. Watching as she clenched down, more of his cum dripping from her. His. All of it his, as it should be. He smeared his finger into the thick stream and pushed it back in.

“Teasing me for months and now you waste my cum? Tsk.” Ace chided Saki softly. Lifting up her knees and bracing them against her breasts. Fat of her thighs and tits struggling in the narrow space. Ace’s cock throbbed. “I’m sure you’ll get it right this time.”

Ace speared into her cunt again, the slide effortless despite the tight squeeze.

Saki moaned loudly, struggling to arch her back against the pressure on her knees keeping her down and open.

Ace couldn’t help but give a lewd laugh, kissing her panting lips as he sank deep.

“We have so much to catch up on.” Ace promised. “So, you’re going to take it this time, right? Cause you’re mine. Right?” Ace whispered as Saki trembled.

“Y-Yours!” Saki cried out.

“Good.” Ace growled, fucking her into the futon with lewd, wet slaps. Saki’s voice slurring in a litany of cries and agreement to everything he said.

And Ace encouraged her debauched desperation with his own eagerness. Driving her wild and over the edge again and again until they were exhausted.

Saki looked good in the onsen, naked and wet. But she looked divine in his arms, thighs dripping with his cum and littered with hickeys. At this point, Ace didn’t care if he had to thank his brothers or his own poor sense of direction. He was just glad he finally got touch every inch of Saki’s soft body.

“… Love you, ‘ce.” Saki breathed against his neck, closing her eyes as exhaustion finally took her out. His cock throbbed but went ignored, slowly slipping out of her cunt as it softened. Ace grunted as it fell, resting heavily between her thighs in a lewd smear of cum.

“Love you too, Saki.” Ace whispered back, pulling the blanket over them both before following her into sleep.

[kaolinite91]

My review about One Piece Live Action (OPLA)

(Pic source: OPLA Netflix twitter)

Okaaay, you probably knew that I was one of old Nakama, since I've been following one piece for around 20 years (since elementary school haha)

And honestly when I saw the first plan about OPLA from Netflix.. I have a very great cynicism..because you know how baaaaad most of Hollywood anime adaptation were. The good anime adaptation which I think best was Gintama n Kenshin live action, but that's has major Japanese casts and in Japanese languange. But One Piece gonna have diverse casts..how scary. I really put my expectation bar..really...really low back at the time.

But then I saw the list of the casts and honestly, when I saw Inaki Godoy as Luffy for the first time, I kinda unsure and was like "hmm..let see his IG profile first", and I saw him somehow being naturally cheerful and goofy just like Luffy. And I saw his still from one of mexican drama where he looks really cool and badass. I was like " maybe this kid can be Luffy", my expectation kinda growing.

The cast for SH crew looks promising after I saw their profile..except from Taz because back then he has no IG yet. Very2 limited info from him. But after some times, I can see how he & the other cast really2 love the characters they are playing and worked hard for it. They were working with heart and it's shown..

Oda- sensei gives his thought about the adaptation too..and apparently he was the one who want the OPLA to be happened, tho he will be really strict about it. And I honestly I was starting to believe (I mean if the creator already said so), but great doubt still lingered in my heart.

Some months pass..finally the first picture of the cast with full outfits appeared, the first teaser during One Piece day..my expectation started to grew again. I got really hype tho people around me still really sceptical.

More info about how Oda approved Inaki as Luffy because his audition tape made Oda laughed. How Inaki got a strawhat from Luffy's seiyuu,Mayumi Tanaka, and all original anime seiyuu gonna voiced the chara in the live action too. He got a warm support from Shueisha and even met Oda himself and got a STRAWHAT from Goda? Well I started to BELIEVE!! I mean..this OPLA got support from the original source material!! How very awesome! I want this to succeed!

As a long time fans I got a secondhand nervousness.. I really want this live action to be successful. I already saw how the casts chemistry works really well during the interview etc..I want it to succeed!! I even shared a lot of the promotional media to my IG story which was rarely happened from me..hahaha

and after a bit more wait, the series released Yesterday at 31 August 2023. It's during weekday, on Thursday and the Netflix premiere in indonesia was at 14.00 wib. I applied for leave just to watched this Live action yesterday. How was it?? WORTH IT!!

I am so glad I love One Piece and so happy that my favorite manga got a very well made live action.

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Spoiler

Here're some of my faves things & moments:

- Many different approach in telling the story, so it felt fresh!! Because the main point were still conveyed but the location differ and some interaction between characters got adapted to catter the limited episodes (only 8 eps)

- many interesting new interaction!! Luffy and Nami interaction, zoro & nami, zoro & sanji etc..haha loves when SH crew appears

- I got teary eyes during flashback moments (Shanks gave his hat, Zeff advice to little Sanji, Bellemere moments 🥲🥹)

- Zoro very very cool and awesome..and honestly trying to rewatch with JP dub really made him even more WHOLESOME..omg

- when Sanji called Zoro mosshead

- when Ussop and Kaya kissed..hahaha (so there will be romance?)

- when Nami only hugged Zoro and Usopp & Sanji only saw from the sidewalk..

- love Nami theme song because it's pretty and sung by Aurora!

- loves the hidden easter egg: binks sake song, anime ost instrumental, mentioned Jaya, and story of Mobran Noland (even the story book!) Etc

- Garp denden mushi looks cute somewhow haha

- how Buggy looks super creepy like Joker hahaha but I love it! It's super interesting

- Helmeppo really annoying just like in the comic, Koby looks very similar with the comic counterpart too!!

- I love how the story combines SH POV with Koby as marine POV (which should be after vol 45), but it makes the introduction of the world more seamless and easier for the new fans ro enjoy

- JP Dub really a whole other experience!!! You must watch it at least twice I think! Hahaha original voice and JP dub!!

What I don't really like or can be improved:

- need more episodes, 8 was too short and made the story telling too packed.

-This also impacted the timing of the screen which supposed to build up the impactful scenes: like when Gold Roger dies,Zoro almost died from hunger, Shanks arm got eaten, Sanji's thankfulness to Zeff, Luffy's promise to helps Nami and when he yelled that Nami is his Nakama from Arlong park ruins.... it's not really highlighted. Kinda felt like just another ordinary scenes 🥹🥲😭

- somehow Luffy fight not really as dynamic as Zoro, so I kinda feel sad..but in east blue saga he still kinda weak(?) So maybe that's okay

- No Hachi in arlong park, no battle with Krieg...No usopp's little kids crew and somehow Merry died (I know he's more like NPC but it still sad because Kaya alone now)

- a bit more gory with blood etc

- Garp characterization...somehow a bit confusing. He seems a lot stricter than in the manga, and rarely laughing too.. which is okay. But why he really want to captured Luffy is still not understandable for me...? In vol 45 he just want to Meet Luffy as his Grandpa, but not sure in OPLA, is he still want to makes Luffy a marine? (Maybe I need to rewatch it). He contacted the Shichibukai to captured Luffy a bit stretched too..since Garp division in manga should be the part of marine who didn't believe in Shichibukai as 'protector of the sea'.

- how Genzou not have importance to the plot as Nami's and Nijiko's father... He should be the reason for the pinwheel, but in OPLA Bellemere the one who made it.

- Bellemere's name in the EN subtitles only written as Woman.. during Nami episode her name never mentioned and only written in her graveyard (saaaad)

- Sanji needs more screentime!! Huhuhu he just started join the crew in EP 7 and the episodes already finished at 8...saaad. I need more of him too 😭

- the SH crew interaction very limited because of the packed pacing and short number of episodes. I wish they can be explored more. It's funny because the screentime got divided into coby, helmeppo and garp interaction too. They really felt like another main characters.

- how Luffy recruitted the crew also not really highlighted, thus it's a bit weird on why suddenly Zoro want to follow him as his crew. it's kinda felt random..

-Luffy a lot more...wise and mature? I wish he looks more goofy like how Inaki in his IG stories. And because not many interaction with usopp yet..his childish part seems not really explored?

Maybe that's that for now.. but TLDR. It's a fun & fresh live action and I recommend you to watched it and be a new Nakama!

For me OPLA season 1 score was: 8.5/10

Ps. Above was the objective score from me because I kinda particular.. but subjective score with EN dub was 10/10, for JP dub is 11/10 because I love how fun and fresh it is!! (I still rewatching it for the JP dub hahaha)

[stuckinapril]

girl help i'm suffering. i've been talking to this guy online (met through a now ex bf) for about two full months and we fell really hard for each other. the main issues were that 1. i'm still recovering from my prev relationship and 2. it would be an ldr (from michigan to pennsylvania), which we both currently have no idea how to navigate nor did we have a plan so we agreed not to date. yesterday we also agreed to take some time away from each other bc of my first thing, and i know i'll work my stuff out in about a month or two given some time and self care. the issue is: what then? i don't want to move on from him. i really really love him and i know men are a dime a dozen and they'll always come and go but i love him so much and he loves me too. he doesn't even know what i look like and he said he didn't need to because he he fell in love with me just from about everything you could get from texts and the four hour long calls we would have. all of today i've just been looking at potential summer internships in pittsburgh and maybe even going to grad school at cmu (cs/ds is my major, cmu is a top school for it but the tuition is $$$)

i love him so much. and honestly i think it's ok to chase a man if i'm chasing up and not down yknow?? maybe it's silly and this will all burn and fizzle out but i think i would really regret never trying. he's thoughtful and maybe he's bad at texting but he always took up my offers to call whenever i knew he was available and i just feel like i could spend forever with him. i've always wanted to live in a big city away from my hometown, but now i want it to be with him.

what do i do? :( i just feel like i want to hold onto these feelings just a little longer. the pain reminds me that it was all real and not just in my head. i'm done sacrificing everything for school and success, i gave up my hobbies and all of my energy and time and happiness just to succeed, and i feel so lifeless. i want to be young and spontaneous and i know i can move on and maybe it's what i technically should do, but i just want to be silly and stupid and make safe dumb decisions and be with him even if it's just for a summer. of course i won't compromise my entire future, but i just really want to see him.

it could very well be that you're truly in love. it could also very well be that you're infatuated & looking for comfort after a breakup. this is a phase i went through fresh off my ex as well, so i understand. it's very mature of you to sort your shit out before jumping into something. rebounding would be unfair to all parties involved. the rest of my answer is w the assumption that you'll have gotten over your breakup in a couple months & you're still into him, but it's totally cool if you sort of got some clarity & realized maybe this isn't what you want.

as a fellow stem major who dedicates lots of time to school, i can definitely understand where you're coming from. i really don't recommend you tank your career either haha, but your choice seems very strategic & reasonable. an internship where he lives is the perfect opportunity to expose yourself to what it would be like to be in physical proximity w him, while benefiting from the stay simultaneously.

my one thing is--def have a trial period. your internship could be your trial period. maybe you guys have great chemistry apart, but in person he's not what you expected him to be. the fact that he doesn't know how you look like does play a factor as well, even tho i don't doubt that he's crazy about you. try it out, basically, but consider the internship a test run--a chance to get a feel for him in person & see if it's something worth pursuing.

i'm waaary of long distance, just bc it's so fucking hard to make work. at the same time, i'm also a firm believer that your soulmate isn't only found in your city--they can be anywhere in this world. and if you wanna try to make it work w someone who lives far, then that's beautiful and should be honored. i just wouldn't jump the gun and revamp my entire life for someone i didn't meet in person yet if i were you. while i'm sure you spent a lot of time w him, online personas can have a way of being very filtered. who knows. maybe he's extremely authentic. that's what you're trying to find out. also watch some long-distance videos for advice. just research the fuck out of that dynamic. i think that would go a long way.

never stop asking yourself if he'd do the same for you. it's okay to be the one to make some sacrifices at first, but he should return that energy somehow. has he expressed that he'd be willing to at all?

and pls pls pls, be safe. women always go the extra mile of telling guys they're literally all they have. that is so unsafe. let other people know about your plan, if you go through w it (for safety reasons). make the smartest choices you possibly can. ik you're crazy in love right now, but do not. dooo not. put all your eggs in one basket. try it out, but do not put this guy on this impossible pedestal. do not assume he's perfect when you haven't even met him in person yet. do not put yourself in financial debt for feelings you think have a possibility of fizzling out. i think both of y'all need to slow down. not to completely ditch the prospect, but to slow down.

safe dumb decisions, just like you said. not permanent ones for a potentially temporary feeling.

[languagebraindump]

Expressing assumptions/speculations/guesses in Japanese

Cool scene. Deidara was the coolest Akatsuki memember so he allowed himself to sit on dead Gaara. The disrespect was real and Naruto got really mad. This  way they found out who the jinchuriki was. English translation was: That must be him Japanese: どうやらそうみたいだな Depending on the source the translations differ.

I remember I was so confused."Where is “must” in Japanese?!?!” I quickly remembered all the “must” forms I’d learned in Japanese, and none of them matched with what Deidara had said. I was really frustrated!

どうやら is most commonly translated as “apparently,” and it is a way for the speaker to emphasize his objectivity or possibly doubt.

そうみたいだな = it seems so, it looks like so, it looks like it is him.

Must is used for saying that you think something is probably true because nothing else seems possible.

Every evidence that you’re shown screams “That’s him! that’s him!” So, you’re like “According to the evidence, you’re the jinchuriki!” -> logical assumption. But it’s not like someone else has confirmed this as well. It’s just your assumption. Modal verbs are tricky and the best way to study them in Japanese is to learn a concept behind a certain modal verb and look for phrases that match that concept in Japanese.

(Logical) assumptions/speculations/guesses in Japanese can be expressed through:

どうやらそうみたいだな

Verb casual + はずです

〈当然 as a matter of course 〉 ought to do; should do

〈推測 guesses〉 must 《be》

〈予定 plans〉 be expected to do; be to do; be due to do.

言ったはずだ = I told you!

筈（はず）がない

cannot 《be》

it is hardly possible that…

そのう わさは本当であるはずがない = The rumor cannot be true.

～に決（き）まっている   sure to ...; certain to ...; bound to ...; it's natural that ..  

彼は成功するに決まっている. It is certain that he will succeed.

我々は勝つに決まっている. We ought to win.

きっと〜だ [adverb; often paird with だろう・でしょう]

これはきっとよく売れるよ I bet this product will sell really well. (It must sell well since it’s so good; that’s my assumption)

さぞ + phrase I’m sure; I’m certain [often paird with だろう・でしょう]

さぞおもしろいことがあったでしょうね。 It must have been very interesting.

さぞお退屈でしょう. You must find it dull.

phrase + ではないか・じゃないか (you can also translate it as “isn’t it’ [tag questions] They, too, express assumptions and speculations)

ダメじゃないか you can’t do that (my assumption, after considering all the circumstances, is that you can’t do that)

彼は来ないのではないかと思う。 I am afraid he won't come.

～に違いない   (にちがいない)  Used when the speaker believe in something with high persuasive.

何か間違いがあるに違いない。 There must be some kind of mistake.

これは良いに違いない！ This should be good!

君は金持ちに違いない。 You must be rich.

～だろう・でしょう　

〈推量〉 I think; I suppose; I reckon; I guess

 I hope (that)…

 I am afraid/ I fear (that)…

〈恐らく…だろう〉 perhaps; probably; maybe

彼はあす来るだろう. He will probably come tomorrow.

楽しいだろう I bet it'll be fun.

Extra phrases which also (in a way) express assumptions

だから～だろうな(あ)

あなたに見初められた女性だからきっと素敵な人なんだろうな  She must be a wonderful person since YOU chose her.

～に自信(じしん)がある I belive that ...

～を確信(かくしん)している I’m convinced that...

～かもしれないね。

～と思う・考える to think

It can be true.　本当かもしれないね。

Which one to use tho? It depends on how convinced you are about your assumption and, as always, your speaker (friend, boss, etc.) Also, the more you read or listen and produce the language, the better you will get at recognizing the right context for each phrase. I’m still getting corrected, like, “naaah in this case I’d use this [phrase], it’s not like yours is wrong but this one [phrase] sounds better”

Bonus!

Our one and only! TSUNADE!

こちらの返事分かっているだろう！ダメだ！

context: Two old ugly people just told her some nasty stuff about Naruto and her decision-making process was shit and that she should limit Naruto activities to zero.

English: You must already know my answer to this one / Then you should know what my answer will be / I guess you know my answer to this one

Tsunade is making an assumption here with だ��う

Bonus 2!

Everyone’s favorite (or at least mine) MADARA <3!!

Context: Madara impales Sasuke and says:

言ったはずだ、残された時間は少ないとな…　 

(言ったはずだ, in proper Japanese, should have been placed after と but in everyday Japanese such inversions are common. Since 残された時間は少ないと is the last phrase Madara added な [sentence ending particle])

時間は充分やっただろう... 残念だ

Again, depending on the source translations may very

I warned/told you there was not much time left

I have given you enough time; I gave more than ample time to do something; I gave you enough time to make a decision.

Madara made an offer to Sasuke, Sasuke was like “yeah, right like I wanna be friends with you” and came to beat the shit out of Madara. Since Madara is a cunning bitch, he stabs him and ASSUMES that 1. he already told him what’s up (はずだ) and 2. that Sasuke has been given enough time to make a decision (だろう) and it’s too late to go back (from stabbing that is; 残念だ)

Bonus 3!

言ったはずだぞ、二度はないと

(Sukuna to Mahito when Mahito tried to kill Nanami and Itadori entered his domain expansion with force)

I think I’ve already told you that there won’t be a second time (Mahito already tried to touch Sukuna’s soul once and Sukuna “ignored” it that time around)

[taziidcvil]

My Thoughts on RWBY’s new intro and chapter 1

This is going to be long so is there’s someone or something specific you want to read, I’d suggest using ctrl+f

WHITLEY

ngl i just want to start with my boy bc I’m so glad to see him back. Half of this is speculation and theorizing with no real merit ngl, but it’s something I’ve been thinking of for awhile

First of all this is a,,, very uncertain and conflicted look on his face here. He has his arm wrapped around his stomach and he looks very pensive. imo, Whitley’s going to be faced with a choice, one with no easy answer for him. And an answer that

might not bode well for the schnee family

Those clouds are, of course, Salem’s. Which makes me fear that Whitley may fuck up badly, and end up siding himself with the wrong people and it is likely going to be up to Weiss to bring him back.

Whitley isn’t a fighter. and if Whitley does cause the downfall of the Schnee family, he wont be at use for long. And once Whitley outlives his usefulness, there is no reason for her to keep him around.

But there’s a line that has been in my head for the last couple days. Namely Whitley’s line of ‘what could one huntsman do that an army cannot?’

Again, Whitley is no huntsman, but what it boils down to is ‘what can one person do?’ And I think Whitley is going to have to answer that question himself. 

I do think that Whitley is going to have to act at some point. Do something that puts him out for the greater good. I don’t expect him to suddenly join the fight, but I do think he will have his Pacifica moment. Where there’s something that he is physically capable of doing, but emotionally and psychologically it’s a mountain to him. Something only he can do, and Whitley will have to be the one person who changes the outcome of something dreadful. And most likely, i do believe it will involve Weiss

NORA & REN & RENORA (but mostly Nora)

ngl i am STOKED for this divide here

I love renora. it is one of my favourite ships. probably my third favourite i have to admit. 

what I don’t like is how its been going lately. while i do have the initial shipper reaction of ‘YES’ to the kiss, nora forcing it on ren sits wrong with me. Even more so their song last volume. It’s a bop of a song, true, but so much of it is nora telling ren to tell the truth only for her to tell him to love her. and while i’m sure he does love her, nora’s forcing it out of him and assuming is not healthy for either of them. Ren needs to come to terms with his own feelings, and these two need a wedge between them for a moment to develop separate from one another. 

and while i think ren will come to understand and accept how he feels

i think nora might give up on the pursuit and will put their mission above her feelings

But I do absolutely love the focus on Nora and I hope that’s a sign we are getting her backstory this volume. Nora is going to be a major piece in all of this and I personally cannot WAIT

I will say tho that I think her siding with Ruby’s plan is a little,,, strange to me. She was all gungho for protecting mantle last volume and i find it odd that she’s not on team ‘protect mantle first’. i get that she needs to be in that group because of what is shown in the trailer, but personally i would prefer her reluctantly forced into that group because of her usefulness. to keep the devive, that would mean ren would need to side with the ‘protect everyone’ but I don’t think it would have been that hard to spin his mindset that way

I’ve seen some talk about winter maiden nora and, while i personally would have preferred it, giving the power to penny only to give it to nora next volume is a little,,, cheap to me. ignoring the fact that it would likely mean penny would have to die and i am not about that life

i still think penny shooting lightning bolts at nora to power her up would be OP as FUCK tho

CLOVER

NO I AM NOT USING THE ONE SCREENCAP OF CLOVER THIS VOLUME YOU CAN’T MAKE ME

WARNING: Talk about dead bodies. Both fictional and real.

now i won’t lie, i am avoiding that shot like the fucking plague so I’m working mostly from memory here

I have seen bodies hours after someone has passed. Unless the body has something what effects the colour, here’s a greyness to the skin. Yes, this includes all skin colours. there’s also a distinct blue colour to the lips though clover doesn’t,,, exactly have distinctive lips. 

But seeing his body gave me the same nauseous and horrified sensation as seeing a long dead body. Of course not nearly as strong as he’s fictional and it’s animated, but it was the same. that sick greyness I’d expect from a body. ngl that shit,,, i wont say it triggered me, but it got damn close. it brought back memories and left me feeling very sick. It’s obvious he is very dead.

but even with that feeling, that didn’t stop me from being very fucking confused when I realised where the body was.

Now there’s a number of reasons that clover’s body would be there

They could have tried to save him and failed. They’re in a state of emergency and all the doctors are brought to one collective spot to deal with the potential rise of people needing medical attention. Maybe Atlas just works this way who the fuck knows. Most likely, they just wanted the Ace Ops to witness James and having Clover there just makes it easier to do that. but jfc if you’re going to have bodies in the medical area can you not install curtains??

ngl if i was at the hospital and they had a dead body uncovered and in full view of my room i would be 

I didn’t want to go back and see that image again, so i poked around the clover tag to see what people were saying in case i’m dumb and missed something. but i think if they were trying to bring clover back, they’d make it more obvious. and they sure as hell wouldn’t have coloured him that way. but I don’t blame people for being confused about if he’s dead or not when they literally put him in with people getting medical treatment and give him a patient number

but talking about Clover fuck i miss you so much brings me to

THE STAFF OF CREATION (with mentions of ‘that’ theory)

Ozpin: [mentions that using the staff will make Atlas fall]

Joanna: [talks about plans to move mantle citizens into atlas’ crater]

While it is debatable what the staff will be used on, I think we can all agree this bitch is coming down. Personally I think it’s how the volume will end. with the staff used, and atlas dropping. It’s a fantastic cliffhanger but fuck imma be so mad if that’s really where it ends. 

let me,,, get to that theory first. we all know which one i mean.

I’m not going to lie, i haven’t read much into it. mainly because i’d rather not get my hopes up and be pleasantly surprised than get my hopes up and be disappointed. Do i think it’s plausible? Well... after steven universe i think anything is possible. If it has even the slightest merit behind it I wont rule it out.

Do i think it will happen? debatable. i don’t think it was their plan but i also wouldn’t be surprised if they added it after the reaction to clover last year. but i’m not holding my breath. i’m leaning far closer to ‘no’ but i’m open to being wrong Do i want it to happen? god yes i fucking miss him okay i’m sorry i’m selfish i love my dumb fisherman himbo

the problem though is, if it can be done, there needs to be some form of payment. I know there’s been talk about a life for a life, and these are the options that come to mind: James: Don’t like this. James is a character rooted deep in the story and I think trading his life for Clover’s is,,, questionable. idk something about this doesn’t sit right. Especially when he has far more history with qrow than clover did. Tyrian: this feels cheap. trading a villain for a hero? that’s not even a payment, that’s hitting two birds with one stone. I do believe Tyrian wont survive the series, but this way is,,,, very cheap Qrow: pppppppppffffffttttt honestly this would just be a dick move that’s some monkey paw shit right there

either way, reviving clover would drop atlas and put both the people on atlas and under in danger. so the question is, is reviving clover worth it.

ethically, no. it’s not. one life will never outweigh thousands.  but would my selfish ass rather risk thousands of lives for one comfort character? you bet your sweet ass i would. it’s fiction, see if i care. storywise tho, we probably shouldn’t

But there’s nothing in the OP to suggest that Qrow is after the staff. and while it could be left for volume 9, i don’t see this volume lasting without dropping atlas after this volume started with the reminder that’s what would happen.

but ruby is shown reaching for it. (also is it just me or do those look like nuckelavee arms?) which makes me wonder just what she could want it for. Sure, she could be reaching to protect it, and that’s highly possible. but if we’re already talking about bringing characters back, i would not be too surprised if ruby considers the same idea. Namely with summer (though pyrrha is also an option). If she does consider that though, I don’t think she’ll succeed. and I doubt she’d really try if she knows atlas would fall. 

though if she wants to use it to save the world, if there’s something she can make with it that will stop salem, then i might believe she’d risk it. but even then i have a hard time believing she’d risk peoples lives.

but who else could and can get her hands on the staff?

PENNY

our sweet and dear penny, who has already suggested giving herself over to salem. and who is shown divided and framed opposing the team

While her being hacked is an option, and one i think james would consider letting watts do, from a story point I believe it’s far more interesting if penny is the one to decide this for herself.

Penny is a protector. And she wants to protect everyone. And one way she could possibly do that is by cooperating with salem. And with that gd whale having docking stations and a whole damn room inside it, penny going to salem fits with the whole ‘being eaten by a whale’. 

and if penny is the cause of atlas dropping, that girl is going to be dealing with even more guilt than she already has.

JAMES

me: okay, i know james shooting oscar was a big dick move, but james has done so many good things too. imo it’s questionable writing, but james’ stance is understandable. he’s still a good person-

listen. listen. listen. I... i don’t know what the fuck the writers are doing with this one. it would have been just as easy to arrest him but we just... gun happy i see. but james being gun happy makes me very nervous for qrow and that ‘if you were one of my men, i’d have you shot’. qrow’s out for james’ blood, but I don’t think qrow could ever actually kill him. and normally i don’t think james could try and kill qrow, but these are,,, not normal circumstances, and james has a semblance that will absolutely help him pull the trigger

i still love james. and i still understand both sides of the fight. and i still believe james is a good person. there’s so many good things james has done, but fuck if the writers aren’t trying their hardest to make the fandom hate him. and for the most part, it’s working. my gf already hates him lol

when all is said and done, there’s a lot that james is going to feel guilt for, but it’s guilt he’s willing to bare

while i understand the reason behind making james the bad guy, i will admit that i’m bitter about it. namely because in volumes 2 and 3 there were so many people expecting james to be bad, only for him to prove himself as a good person. and now the story is doing its best to take that back

THE ACE OPS

Again, one of the main reasons i think they put clover there and confused the fuck out of people. I think there’s going to be a divide in the ace ops, and i think we see which side people fall on here

harriet and vine are going to be harder to turn, but i think this moment just planted some uncertainty in elm and marrow. I dont think it’ll be an instant thing, but this isn’t something they’re going to forget. this is going to bother them for a good long while. yeah, the writers are trying to turn the fandom on james, but storywise it’s planting the seeds of betrayal and giving the ace ops a reason to switch sides. but i don’t think they’ll come into fruition until the end of the volume

And while we’re talking on betrayal, Winter is edging herself closer too. but while i think she’ll turn faster than the ops, i also think she’ll be the most understanding and caring of james of them all. 

Yang vs Ruby

pitting them together is honestly a good thing for yang’s character. they still love each other. they’d still fight for each other.

they may see things differently, and they may go their own paths, but there’s no animosity. they can work together and have each others backs, even when they don’t agree. 

and that’s something team rwby/ornj and friends and james/aceOPs need to work towards

Yang was never happy with Ruby keeping secrets, and personally i think it’s good for her to voice it and go a path she sees as right

Tyrian (and nuts and volts)

we’ve seen a lot of tyrian’s smiles. he is a very animated person who broadcasts his emotions. in fact, the only time he ever quiets down is in front of salem

this smile is the most ‘you bitch you’re lucky mum is here’ smile ive ever fucking seen on this man grhueiorfubgnjfroe

look, i don’t think tyrian and arthur are romantically involved. but i do think tyrian is fond of arthur. whether that’s romantic or platonic is up for debate, but tyrian has always spoken foldly of arthur. tyrian obviously does not like cinder or her crew, though he does love picking on them while i dont think he has that level of dislike for hazel, hazel is the sort of person to not like unnecessary killing, so i don’t see them getting close. Arthur crafted him his tail, and he organized a plan where tyrian got to murder often. out of the bunch, i think it’s rather obvious arthur is the person closest to him, and I also think he’s absolutely looking forward to seeing arthur again

Emerald/Mercury/Neo

first of all, FUCKING FINALLY! MY KIDS HAVE NEW OUTFITS! now there’s things i like and don’t like about mercury’s. personally, i like his old outfit better, but he NEEDED new clothes so i don’t miss it! Emerald is looking GOOD!! i don’t give a fuck what anyone says, she looking fine as hell

hazel tho, what the FUCK did they do to your hair?? who the fuck did this?? how DARE YOU

that’s all i have to say about hazel bc boy is quiet but WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU DONE?? while we talking about new looks, winter is looking FIIIIINE too

Neo is, very obviously, finding this whole situation fucked up. i know a vast majority of us thought Neo would turn on Cinder, but at this point i believe she was content with finding a new reason to live. but the more cinder brushes her aside, and the more she gets to know salem, she’s looking more and more disturbed and annoyed with it all. 

emerald is an obvious turn. with her whole Aladdin tale, i wont be surprised if she takes the lamp from salem and uses the last question. (i’ll admit though that i’m curious what salem’s question(s) is). now i still think neo will want to kill ruby, but i don’t see her staying sided with salem and cinder.  i will say tho that I find it fucking HILARIOUS that salem has no fucking idea who she is. how much of cinder’s plan did salem even know? did she know about roman? did she know about mercury and emerald before they went to pick up her silver eye’d ass? Salem cut Cinder down for ‘acting without salem’s say so’ but how much of that has cinder already been doing before now pffffttt

but mercury’s the only one that isn’t showing that much hint to turning. and personally, that makes sense. Mercury’s been shown plenty of times being disturbed by it all. he’s always stood beside emerald, equally frightened or distrusting. but if salem is calm and mercury’s in no real immediate danger, mercury has always tried to play with the big boys. he has a better poker face than emerald and neo, but he doesn’t belong there nearly as much as he pretends to.

but mr pokerface isn’t perfect. the moment he notices cinder, his attention goes back to emerald, and he watches her. he’s told her before that cinder doesn’t care for them. he’s tried to break that to her, and when they come to face cinder he’s not happy. less so when emerald instantly runs back to her. he knows emerald’s goiing to get hurt, and while he’d like to think he’d be the type to say ‘i told you so’, he’s not going to take pleasure in seeing her hurt

but one think about emerald is that she reminds me a lot of nora. they were both starved and homeless, and were ‘saved’ by someone else. but cinder is no lie ren, and emerald’s gone a very different path. not to mention her ‘saviour’ came much later in her life, and nora is on equal footing with ren and has saved him right back. but nora has been shown to empathise with mantle and its condition. which makes me wonder if emerald will too. she described the attack on vale as ‘sad’. So emerald, how will you feel when you take in the situation in mantle?

CINDER

i’ll be honest, i don’t like cinder. I’m sorry ;n; she just never interested me. she has a nice design, but other than that i just,,, never clicked with her. but i am happy we’re getting a backstory for her. mostly because it’s damn well due, and for her fans. y’all enjoy your food

that is,,, where i’m going to leave it. it’s late and i need to sleep. there’s probably things i missed, and if there is i’ll add to it in the morning. but these are the immediate thoughts that come to mind.

please feel free to discuss. and remember these are just personal opinions and thoughts, many of which probably will lead to nothing. 

[dream-girls-evil]

Ratched: Episode 6 Reactions

The Aftermath

The search is on!!! Yeah, they really didn’t think this through.

Dolly is a resourceful cookie tho! It’s kinda funny to see Edmund following her lead through all of this.

Oooh an empty farm, lucky them!

I know Gwen is going to be okay, but this is still stressful to watch. And if I didn’t know that she was going to be okay, I’d think this was the turning point where Mildred becomes heartless and decides Edmund needs to die. Well, she still might decide he needs to die.

I know Mildred was probably just going to confess that she’s a lesbian, but I wish it was like, everything. And that she got the chance.

Aw Gwen is trying to smile 😭

Lmao Dolly is so turned on by this whole thing

Ahhh and the real Edmund comes out. He knew what was happening the entire time.

Dolly you DO NOT POINT A SHOTGUN AT SOMEONE

Dolly scares him?? I mean okay valid, don’t wanna be on the run with a wildcard, but it’s not like he’s super trustworthy either

Edmund’s demeanor changes so fast, I really can’t pin him down

Ah so the priest killer has a soft spot for animals

But Dolly is super chill with it all! She def grew up on a farm

Ooh Mildred got a thing about puppets, and I bet she’s going to try to take Gwen to a marionette show, or try to go to one because Gwen wants to, and it’s going to bring back some terrible memory

“Some kids have all the luck” ummm Gwen I don’t think Mildred did tho

Aw Gwen. She’s so sweet and thinks she’s come up with a lovely date for the two of them. She doesn’t realize that the marionettes weren’t a good memory for Mildred.

Gwen. Gwen. Look at the way Mildred is standing. Arms crossed in front of her, avoiding her eyes...please don’t push her into something she doesn’t want to do.

Gwen THAT’S NOT IT!!! She thinks Mildred’s just afraid of being vulnerable and letting herself enjoy something, but that’s not it. The woman is traumatized.

Also maybe you shouldn’t be discussing all of this so loudly???

The Puppet Show

They’re not even going to sit in the back so they don’t block the kids’ view?? Rude!

Wow OF COURSE it’s a story about children whose parents abandon them. yikes.

Oh hey I was right, they are foster siblings

I know she’s probably hallucinating like, most of this, but it’s still unnerving to hear the kids laugh at the abuse

And we already know that they get separated at some point

Aw no this is starting off so happy and something awful is going to happen. Their “parents” are going to be psychos and treat them like living dolls or something aren’t they?

Oh nope EVEN WORSE

Fuck, so this is what Mildred was talking about when she said she’d never do that with him again

Did Mildred leave without him? Ah, so there’s the guilt

Oh fuck she flipped out. Oh honey.

Mildred you need to explain.

Is she gonna tell Gwen the brother was Edmund tho, is the big question, cuz that would change everything.

Is the middle of a restaurant really the best place for this conversation???

Oh man she did tell her!!!

Really? We’re cutting away now? Don’t get to see Gwen’s reaction?

Caught

Dolly you need to be a little more alarmed by all of this!!!

I feel like either there’s people outside and she’ll get killed trying to protect him or if they do get away, he’s gonna kill her himself because she’s too reckless

This is all nauseatingly dramatic. Did he really imagine a normal life for them somewhere in all of this??

Dolly don’t try anything stupid now

Aaand she’s trying something stupid

RIP Dolly

Wait Mildred is back already?? WHAT HAPPENED WITH GWEN?!

Ooh Mildred is MAD. And I mean, with good reason. He disobeyed her and look at the mess they’re both in now.

Fuck the governor’s here? Gwen didn’t tell him anything, did she? She isn’t going to, is she??

Lmao it’s very satisfying to see Betsy disillusioned with Hanover

I would like to slap the governor please

Lol Mildred’s little smile at Gwen’s comment. Don’t get too excited honey; she’s just stating the facts. It doesn’t mean she’s cool with this.

Fuck fuck fuck this is not going according to Mildred’s plan!!!

And I bet Hanover is going to blame Mildred for this

Fuck he’s pulling the funding for the entire hospital?!

“You’re fired. Sorry you got shot.” ASSHOLE.

Hey, where the heck is Lenore?

Thoughts and Theories

So like, really not a fan of the lowkey implication that Mildred’s a lesbian because she was sexually abused as a child, but it’s Murphy, so this is the least of what I expected when I found out that there were going to be wlw characters. And WOW we finally know the whole story about her and Edmund--and more importantly, Gwen knows the whole story about her and Edmund. I still can’t believe we didn’t get to see her full reaction to that! Did she ask any questions? Did they still enjoy the rest of their mini-vacation? What happened?? 

What we do know is this: Gwen has been against the death penalty from the beginning, so her trying to delay the execution does not necessarily mean she’s trying to help Mildred, but, considering the situation...idk. I feel like Gwen would sympathize and because she cares about Mildred, she doesn’t want her to have to watch her brother die. Also, since there’s only two episodes left, and I know they end the season in a relationship, Gwen clearly hasn’t been too put off by this knowledge about Mildred. But the question remains: did Mildred explain all of what she’s been doing at the asylum? That she wants to free Edmund at all? That it was her trusting him to follow her plan that got Gwen shot? I doubt it.

Edmund is still so hard for me to read, and I don’t know why. He’s clearly not a sociopath, just someone filled with a lot of rage, but still the way he switches so fast from acting very menacing and tough to apparently being a romantic who doesn’t consider himself scary is...weird. It’s a lot like Mildred, too, and I’m not sure I’m a fan of this tendency in either of them. Obviously people are multifaceted, and I love characters who are badass and villainous but secretly super soft with the ones they love, but something about the way these two are written, it just doesn’t quite manage to come off as natural. Anyway, what’s more interesting is how he and Mildred differ, and how it’s clearly going to keep causing problems. Where Mildred is calculated, Edmund is impulsive; when she asserts her control, he rebels. There’s clearly been friction between them since the beginning, but after this whole mess there’s only a few ways it can play out. 

1) Mildred’s going to crack down on controlling him, and Edmund will lash out at her and run off on his own again

2) Mildred will blame him for Gwen getting hurt and decide he’s beyond helping, so she’ll let him go to the chair and he’ll escape and want revenge for her betrayal

3) Edmund will realize that he’ll never succeed on his own and want her to protect him, but their desperation over the execution date will likely lead to him ending up back on the run and being hunted because they don’t have time for a better plan

[sosa-sketch]

Fright or Flight: Chapter 2

Parings: Prinxiety // Logicality // Platonic LAMP

Story Summary: Virgil and Patton investigate the New Prince Castle, when a brutal accident kills Patton. Patton wakes as a ghost and meets friendly ghoul Roman, who has been haunting the castle for 20 years. Virgil is determined to bring Patton back to life and brings Logan, the ghost expert, to help him out. Time is quickly running out, and the four must work together to undo death. If only it was as simple as Logan made it sound.

Unknown to them, a secret entity in the castle does not plan on letting them succeed.

Previous Chapter   Next Chapter 

When Patton first met Virgil, his last intention was to become friends with him. Virgil had built up a notorious reputation over the first few months of school, and his grades did nothing to disprove his status. Patton wasn’t the type to judge a person’s character based on rumors nor looks. No one was a higher believer in the benefit of doubt than Patton! However, Virgil’s first impression did not help his case.

Virgil transferred into Patton’s English class the second semester due to a schedule change. When the teacher stated a new team project was to be completed, Patton did not shy away from offering to be Virgil’s partner. He understood how difficult it could be being the new kid in a class full of friends and cliques.

The project was hefty, an collection of novel analyzing, essays, vocabulary, and journal entries. Patton was not looking forward to the Shakespearean project-Shakespeare’s language was alien to him. It occurred to Patton that pairing up with the soon-to-be-dropout may not have been his best idea. Nonetheless, Patton refused to be jaded.

The first day of the project, Virgil refused to touch the work.

“There’s no way I’m touching this project.” Virgil sneered. “Especially about Shakespeare.”

“Huh?” Patton had not fully processed Virgil’s words. “Is it because you don’t understand it?”

“Sure.”

“Neither can I! I guess Shakespeare really has our brains shaken up! Maybe we can ask the teacher to go over it for us?”

The teen huffed and shook his head. Virgil laid his head on the wooden desk and his eyes slipped closed. He napped for the rest of the period.

His behavior continued for weeks. Patton had tried everything in his power to get Virgil to help him out. Patton’s seemingly endless supply of compliments and encouraging gestures served no help.

Patton’s mind had conjured countless excuses for Virgil since Virgil himself refused to give one. At the beginning the excuses had seemed feasible. Lack of sleep? Family issues? However, by week three, Patton was already scraping the bottom of the barrel, trying to justify Virgil’s dismissive attitude with clones and possible mind control. Virgil was no closer to lifting up a pencil, there were ten days left of the project, and Patton still understood little to nothing about Shakespeare. Patton was flying solo and time was ticking.

The final week before the project was due, Patton caught the flu.

Patton would chalk up the flu to the top three sucky sicknesses of his lifetime. His fever was raging, his skin drowning in sweat while the insides of him iced over. Patton couldn’t tell when being awake ended and when sleep began. The only alarm in Patton’s body was the churning in his gut that rushed him to the toilet.

Understandably, the project was the last thing on his mind.

Patton would not remember his Shakespeare mission until the Sunday before it was due, when he was shaking off the final remnants of the flu. The realization hit him like a train, but by the time he went flying off his bed and hurriedly logging on to his computer to check the time, Patton knew it was hopeless. There was no way he could get the project done in a few hours and counting. Not when all his energy was going into fighting of sneezes and headaches.

Patton was dejectedly scrolling through his email filled with newsletters from adoption sites and animal protection agencies when a subject line caught his eye: “English Project.” Linked to the email were word documents and an audio file. Perplexedly, Patton opened the email.

To: patpetspups@gmail.com

From: killjoy_2001@icloud.com

Subject: English Project

Patton,

so apparently you’ve been sick. class is way more quiet without you their, which is wierd.

i think i did everything you hadn’t done. it’s gonna be really mispelled and confusing and shit. sorry. i’m not the best with righting. feel free to fix anything.

get well soon.

-V

p.s. sorry for acting like a jerk. i owe you a explanation monday.

Patton hugged his computer screen and laugh with relief. He had no idea why Virgil was so nervous. His ideas were brilliant. A week later, Patton would see an A in his gradebook for the Shakespeare project.

There was a reason why Patton never lost faith in people.

True to his word, the next week Virgil explained his mistreatment to Patton. Virgil struggled with dyslexia. While he was getting tutoring in overcoming his learning disability, Virgil’s writing made him incredibly insecure. His old teacher always let him work individually, but the new teacher wasn’t having it. Before class, the teacher pulled him aside and told Virgil he was no different from any other student and would have to work with a partner. Virgil, determined to spite the teacher and anxious to seem like an “idiot” in front of Patton, would pretend to sleep the whole period.

“All your writing took was a quick grammar fix. The ideas were so good! I’m not just saying that to say that, they actually were! I could never think of something like that.” Patton reassured enthusiastically.

Virgil flushed a bright red. “I didn’t do much. Shakespeare is a lot easier to understand with audio.”

Patton listened to the audiobook of Macbeth that night. Virgil clearly wasn’t giving himself enough credit.

Virgil and Patton quickly grew close once the project was done. Virgil was still quiet, snappy, moody, and detrimentally insecure, but he began to open up more as the months went on. By senior year, Patton and Virgil was joined at the hip. Two peas in a pod.

Virgil had grown a lot since freshman year.

Being joined at the hip with Virgil meant that Patton got to understand Virgil by the simplest change in body language or expression. It also meant that Patton became aquatinted with anyone close to Virgil.

Patton already had a bad feeling while Virgil’s tone had shifted on the phone the night they were chatting about yearbook quotes. Remy sending Patton a text only confirmed the ball of dread in his stomach.

Rem: pat can we talk ?

Patton: You don’t even have to ask! Everything ok?

Rem: it’s about v

Rem: have you guys talked recently ? out of school

Patton: We talked last weekend. Over the phone. Why? Is Virgil fine??

Rem: idk. he came over to my house a couple nights ago at like 5 am. talked about some ghost shit.

Patton: He woke you up to talk about ghosts??(language!)

Rem: looking for affirmation that he wasn’t some obsessed ghost freak. i told him nah

Rem: but tbh he kinda is obsessed

Patton: He is passionate about his ghosts! But that’s not a bad thing.

Rem: v strongly disagrees. the whole thing about the yearbook and ghost quotes really messed with his head

Patton: I didn’t mean anything bad by it! It was just an idea! I promise! I’ll apologize to him!!!

Rem: wait no thats not what im saying. no one blames u

Rem: is he doing any ghost stuff anytime soon

Patton: Yep. He’s going to visit a castle!

Patton: Is that bad?

Rem: don’t you remember last time v became paranoid abt something? he pulled some real stupid stuff just to prove ppl wrong

Patton: Yeah. I know.

Patton: Gosh now I’m worried :(

Rem: i just dont want him doing anything he’ll regret on the trip. can u just…idk watch out for him pls ? ik v can take care of himself. but sometimes he gets into this headspace that’s self-destructive

Rem: tbh i dont like his ghost stuff as it is. i dont need him doing something dumb either

Patton: I understand Rem. That’s really sweet of you <3 <3

Patton: I’ll look out for him! I promise!!!! :-) :-)

Rem: ty. dont tell v abt this convo tho

Despite feeling uneasy about it, Patton understood Remy’s request to keep silent. Telling Virgil about their conversation would only push Virgil away and make him defensive. It’d be impossible to look out for him.

Virgil had already given Patton a way in. Patton had to talk to Logan for Virgil and get any supplies he might need. Patton loved visiting Logan in and of itself. Maybe Logan could help him out.

Logan’s business was located near small shops clustered along the beach. It was a hotspot for tourists, where knickknacks and souvenirs were sold and expensive attractions were advertised. Patton walked along here with Virgil sometimes, stopping at the arcade or mirror maze. Patton had met some of the most interesting people in the small touristy town.

Among the attractions was a dark blue shingled building with a pointy-roofed top. Painted letters on a wooden board spelt out “Afterlife Exposed.” Patton stepped through the door and a bell gently ringed, signaling his arrival.

At the sound of the bell, a tall, dark-haired man turned around. His navy suit blended in with the darkness of the shop. The man’s lean body was captivated beautifully in the suit. Patton quickly averted his eyes, blushing furiously.

“I have been expecting you-oh. Greetings, Patton. What a surprise.”

“Hi Logan!” Patton waved enthusiastically. “Who were you expecting?”

“No one. It’s a new rule Father has implemented. I must say it to every customer to ‘set the mood,’ as he calls it.” Logan dragged his hand over his face exasperatedly. “I find it quite ridiculous. But business shall be business.”

Logan’s father technically owned Afterlife Exposed. But he was always hidden in the back, gathering supplies or experimenting. Logan was currently studying entrepreneurship in college in order to take over the family business someday.

“How may I help you today, Patton?” Logan inquired, stepping around the counter to stand in front of him. He was even taller up close.

Patton filled Logan in about the New Prince Castle family murder and Virgil’s plan to investigate the castle for one of his ghost routines. Logan nodded politely the whole way through.

“I see. What an intriguing case. What exactly does he need from me?”

Patton shrugged cluelessly. “Anything you think might help, I guess.”

“What’s his budget?”

“A coffee and cake pop from Starbucks, if he uses his gift card.”

Logan rolled his eyes. “And he sent you to purchase something from here? Why, he couldn’t even afford a keychain.”

“Come on, Logan! He’s one of your most loyal customers and between us, he’s going through a rough patch. Can’t you help him out? Please?”

Logan massaged his temples and sighed. “Patton, it’s just not something the business can afford to do right now. My Father and I have been dealing with a sort of rough patch as well. You and Virgil have my sincerest apologies-truly, you do.”

Patton nodded dejectedly, “I understand.” Spotting Logan’s hesitant expression and tense form, he rested a hand on Logan’s shoulder and grinned. “Really, I do. I don’t blame you.”

Logan gave a small, tight-lipped smile in return. Gently shaking Patton’s hand off his shoulder, he clasped his hands together tightly. “Well, is there anything else I can do for you?”

“I’m not too sure.” Patton pursed his lips in thought. “Well, actually. I was wondering if you could tell me the dos and don’ts of ghost hunting. The yays and nays. The cats and dogs-actually no scratch that, both of those would be a yay.”

“With all due respect, Patton, I think Virgil has got that covered.” Logan reassured. “He must have asked me a dozen times prior to his first investigation.”

“Oh yeah, I know. It’s for me.” Patton corrected.

Logan raised an eyebrow in perplexion. Patton had never shown an interest in ghost hunting when Virgil wasn’t to be found.

Patton thought quickly. “I just want to understand more. For when I talk to Virgil. Sometimes I really don’t get half the explanations coming from the kiddo’s mouth.” It wasn’t a lie. “Just…how do you deal with ghosts?

“I see.” Logan clicked his tongue. “I’m sure Virgil could explain it to you more in depth. But, if you’re ever in doubt, chalk it up to one thing: respect. Is what you’re doing respecting the afterlife and their home? Are you portraying common courtesy? Treat them with the same respect as the living, if not more. There are exceptions, as with anything, but for the most part, that should keep you out of trouble with spirits.”

“Respect.” Patton repeated.

“You have strong morals, Patton. If you’re concerned about involvement with the afterlife due to your closeness with Virgil, I would not worry. Lack of respect is the last of your weaknesses.”

Logan pulled out his phone from the back of his pocket. “I apologize, I must return to my work. However, if you or Virgil have any more questions, feel free to give me a call.”

Patton gushed and thanked Logan, jotting down his number. Logan flushed a gentle red and held out his hand for a handshake.

“Pleasure doing business with you, Patton.”

Patton swatted Logan’s hand away and brought him in for a hug. “Thank you, Logan.”

Logan awkwardly pat Patton on the back before ungracefully untangling himself from the embrace. “I was only doing my job. Now, I understand it’s none of my business, but I recommend getting some rest. You look exhausted.”

“High school has permanently carved bags under my eyes.” Patton shook his head defeatedly.

Logan gave an amused smirk. “You sounded like Virgil.”

Patton beamed. “Like father, like son!”

Just as Patton was about to turn around to leave the store, something in the corner of the room glistened, catching his eye. “Hey Logan? Just one more thing?”

Logan hummed at him, encouraging Patton to continue.

He pointed to the object at the corner of the room. “How much can I get that for?”

 “Walkie-talkies. I sent you to Logan Berry, one of the smartest, most knowledgeable people about the afterlife in this town, and you come back with a Ghost Buster walkie-talkie.” Virgil grunted, dangling the toy by its antennae.

“You can have the Casper the Ghost one instead.”

“What? No! Ghost Busters is better, anyway.” Virgil groaned. “That’s not the point. How about advice? Did Logan say anything?”

“Just to respect the ghosts. Have common courtesy. Which you better be doing anyway, even without Logan telling you to do so.”

Virgil threw his hands up in exasperation and fell down into his sofa as the cushions engulfed the skinny man. “Obviously I respect them! The last thing I need is coming home possessed and cursed! He knows I know that. That’s really all he said?”

“Besides giving us his number.” Patton confirmed. “Which I already gave you.”

Virgil grumbled. “Whatever. One day I’ll get enough money to- wait. The walkie-talkies. There’s no way you could have bought them with my money, I would not have had enough. Please don’t tell me…”

Virgil got a glance of Patton’s sheepish look and groaned. “Patton, we have a rule! No buying each other anything!” He buried his head in his hands. “I can’t pay you back. You know that.”

“Hey…” Patton took a seat next to Virgil and laid a comforting hand on his knee. “It’s okay. They weren’t expensive. You don’t have to pay me back.”

Virgil looked at Patton in between his fingers. His voice was muffled against his palms. “You know how I feel about that, Pat.”

“Virgil, come on.” Patton pleaded.

Virgil shook his head. “Thank you. But, you need to return them.”

Guilty silence settled among the two, but neither made a move to leave. Both were lost in their own worlds when an idea struck Patton.

He nudged Virgil. “I know a way for you to pay me back without money.” At Virgil’s unimpressed look, he protested, “Seriously! It would mean a lot more to me than whatever these walkie-talkies cost.”

“Yea?” Virgil lifted his head from his hands. “What is it?”

Patton stared at Virgil’s stormy eyes as his heart pounded. In all honesty, this was the last thing Patton wanted to do. He was terrified. But, he thought back to the conversation he had with Remy, and the last time Virgil did something senseless unsupervised due to paranoia. “I want to go ghost hunting with you. At the New Prince Castle.”

Virgil’s jaw dropped. His eyes darted around Patton’s face before he shook his head and gave a weak chuckle. “Sure, Pat. Whatever you say.”

“No, I’m serious!” Patton insisted. “I’ll respect the ghosts and do whatever you tell me to do!”

Virgil was dismissing Patton before he could finish his sentence. “No, no, no. You hate ghost stories, Pat! Especially ones that are spooky and gruesome. You’d hate ghost-hutning. It’s dark and there’s lots of weird noises and tons of spiders. No way. I’m not adding more guilt to my conscience.”

Virgil made a move to get up from the sofa, but Patton refused to let the conversation drop. He grabbed Virgil’s hand and pulled him back to the seat. Virgil landed with a clumsy thump.  

“Kiddo, I know I hate all those things. I’m sure I’ll be scared. But, you’ll be there too! I love you more than I hate all those things combined.”

“Patton, we can do something else together. Go to the movies. Or bowling. Normal teen stuff.” Virgil reasoned.

Patton retorted, “But ghost hunting is important to you.”

“It’s not that important. It’s a simple hobby. I don’t care that much about it.” Virgil cut off.

“I know, I know!” Patton quickly backtracked. “What I meant was that ghost-hunting has been a cool way for us to bond. It intrigues you-a perfectly normal amount-and I like seeing you happy! Just like you go walking with me along the shops by the beach even though it’s super crowded and you hate it.”

“Patton, what’s your point?” Virgil grilled.

“My point is I want to try this thing that you enjoy with you. Just like you try things for me. It’s senior year, Virgil. No one hates thinking about it more than me, but we don’t know what things are going to be like after high school. I want to find a husband, start a family. Maybe study veterinary science. You could have a publisher for your writing, become a famous author, and move. I want to do this with you. I want to get over my fear.”

Patton stared at Virgil hopefully and held out his hand. “What do you say? One more big adventure for the dynamic duo?”

Virgil stared at Patton, looked down and roughly shook his head, froze, then stared at Patton once more. Virgil’s foot rapidly tapped against the floor, creating a dizzy, distracting melody. Finally, Virgil pulled his hair and glared at Patton. “You’ll be careful?”

Patton nodded eagerly.

“And you’ll stick with me no matter what? At all times? I want you in my sight.”

Virgil dramatically groaned, closing his eyes and throwing his head back. “I guess you can come.”

Patton shot up from his seat, whooping with joy and hopping around the sofa. “Thank you, Virgil! Thank you! We’re going to have such a great time!”

Virgil peeked one eye open and gave a soft grin. “Yeah, I guess we are. You’re sure you wanna do this?”

“Never been more sure of anything in my life besides my love for you and cats! I pinkie swear it.”

Patton and Virgil intertwined pinkies before Patton winked and let go, embracing Virgil.

“Let your moms know you’re going to be gone for the weekend.” Virgil smirked. “We have a haunted castle to explore.”

[servphiic-blog]

*taps mic* hello friends !! pls excuse the fact that this is about ,,,,, a million years too late, i’ve been all over the place these days – and that doesn’t rly happen that often so ur girl didn’t know how to deal with it. ANYWAYS ! i’m iskra – or IS for short ( 21 / she & her ) hailing from the gmt+1 timezone, here to introduce you all to my smol child hyejin !! if you’d like to plot, you can find me over on discord @ that queso 🧀 #2155 OR just press the lil heart on this post and i’ll come and annoy you about possible connecs n plots !

INTRODUCING miss a shin hyejin, 22 years old, born and raised in seoul, part of the ju jaks ! her stats can be found here and a connections page is coming …….. some day in the near ( or far ) future

before i say anything else ……….. i gotta set the mood

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XdofmoYcJNE

she’s born in the middle of a humid june night, to a woman so drained, she can barely muster up the strength to hold the newborn to her chest. ( it’s a miracle she survived, the nurses whisper amongst themselves ). there’s no one accompanying the young mother, and no one comes to visit her during her stay – but if she’s surprised because of it, she hides it well

so yeah, for as long as hyejin can remember, the only constant in her life has been her mom and their tiny apartment, with its grey, dingy wallpaper and thin walls. they don’t have much – her mom manages to get some money by selling kimbap in the local market – but she grows up loved and happy. her life’s pretty normal – honestly, her biggest worry at that point would probably be whether or not she had enough money to buy a box of pepero

and then – her seventh birthday

*record scratch*

hyejin comes back from school one afternoon only to find the entire apartment building surrounded by thick, heavy smoke. she tries to get to the front of the mass of people – really, she tries as hard as she can to push her way through because her mother should be here, where’s her mother, why isn’t she coming to get her – when she’s stopped by an old lady with a kind face ( one of her neighbors, she remembers ) who looks at her with such incredible sadness evident on her features – which is then mirrored in every single pair of eyes that recognize the little girl. a strange mixture of sadness and pity, which she learns to recognize with time

they tell her that her mother’s dead – perished in the flames that had, apparently, started from a couple of faulty wires just meters away from their home. and just like that – in just one afternoon – the girl’s left with nothing but the clothes on her back, alone and lost and terrified

they seek her out themselves a couple of days after, a small family of ju jak supporters, and take her in. only days later, they fill her head with an insane amount of lies. they tell her the entire incident was an act – a fabrication made to cover up the actions of the magical folk. they tell her all about the vicious magi whose only purpose is to assert their dominance over the non-magical humans, even if it meant causing harm. they tell her that she should hate them – that she should despise them for what they did to her mother. this is what they raise her on, what they repeat to her constantly throughout the years. at first, hyejin believes them. she really does. but as she grows up, her faith begins to waver – and she finds herself doubting whether any of it is actually true. in her family’s eyes, she’s expected to commit fully to capturing, and killing, if necessary, any and all magi. the problem is – hyejin’s not sure if she can actually find it in herself to do it

tldr; shin hyejin was born and raised by a single mother who died in a tragic fire accident when hyejin was seven years old. after that, hyejin is taken in by a foster family ( part of the ju jaks ) who, knowing about the circumstances, ask specifically for her. knowing how vulnerable – and, by extension, impressionable – the child is, start teaching her all sorts of lies about the magic community and basically recruit her in the ju jaks. she grows up imagining the magi as these super evil villains coming for the normal humans and probs even hates them w a passion at some point. as she grows up and starts forming her own opinions n thoughts, she realizes that maybe there’s something wrong about the idea of killing people who you’ve never actually seen do anything wrong. her family wants her to commit fully and even become a hunter in the future, she prays that the day will never come

ALRIGHT NOW THAT ALL THAT BG BIT IS OUT OF THE WAY

owns a small café named shim hae ( tr: deep sea ) which she tried to make as cozy as possible – there’s sofas covered with pillows and soft blankets, paperbacks and hardcovers of different genres, and the constant smell of freshly brewed coffee and hot chocolate – it’s close to her idea of a safe haven, not just for her – but for anyone who may need it

a social butterfly !! she honestly just loves meeting and being around people, as well as going out with them for food or to visit an aquarium or an amusement park ….. or all three soz i don’t make the rules

BIG on food …… but cant rly cook to save her life :/ survives off takeout, cereal, and coffee – no wonder she’s so close to burning out all the time

loves horror movies even tho she gets scared to death at the smallest jumpscare :/ she loves movies in general – especially musicals !! she probs knows like …. 90% of the broadway musicals by heart no joke

hopeless romantic and falls for people very easily – but will def be there for you regardless !!

the type of person to make you wait like 10 minutes before you eat your food bc she has to take the perfect picture of it with the best possible lighting and angles

loves jewelry – especially bracelets and earrings n probs has about a hundred of each

she’s very competitive and always willing to prove you wrong. you say she can’t do smth ?? just watch her as she does EVERY SINGLE THING in her power to try and succeed. ESPECIALLY if its smth small and insignificant

she wants to believe the magi are innocent and not actually planning world domination, but she doesn’t know anything about them other than what her family has told her so far -- she wants to find out more but doesn’t know where to start from

[thedepthsremember]

TRR 3.20 "A Warm Reception" what does that mean. does that mean FIRE i am on edge

I'm expecting it to go all nice and heartwarming, and then Anton shows up at the end. We shall see.

Officially longer than any other TRR book! We’re in uncharted territory now!

From what I saw from my roommate’s Liam playthrough, a lot of the carriage dialogue is mostly the same no matter who’s there, but, I do like this as a callback to awesome-storm Maxwell-Riley from the Homecoming ball, or Duke Whirlwind Dancemaster-Deluxe. With Maxwell, everyone keeps emphasizing how our lives together will be full of adventure and never be boring. ♥

You fools, take this chance to make out in the carriage! No! F O O L S 

Oh. Hello Ana! She’s got a new dress for us, of course. 

... Mehhhhh sorry not into that plasticy cutout look. Why do they keep doing that, it doesn't look like fabric. Sorry Ana, I’m gonna stick with what I've got. 

Maxwell says it doesn’t matter what Riley’s wearing, he and everyone else won’t be able to keep his eyes off her. :’) ♥ bro

Ana, a true friend (despite how I keep tossing out all her hard work) leaves us alone in the boutique. 

We are a storm... a hurricane… a mega punching robot... of love

sweet nervous boy. Riley literally said “I do” (well, ‘hell yeah’ in my case) and he’s still can’t help doubting a little. 

now makeouts?? nope, Madeline. Girl you are about to get stabbed. ANA, WHY DIDN’T YOU STOP HER, I’M SORRY, I’LL WEAR THE DAMN DRESS

(If we keep trying and then getting interrupted, only to finally succeed I will actually love that.)

Oooooo the reception hall is so pretty! Damn, they have really been outdoing themselves with the art lately. First the cathedral, now this. *__*

People coming up to tell us how we made them cry out our vows! Yessss tell us all about your tears! Our love is powerful, baby.

Took no screenshots of Hana’s parents so I can ignore that they came. 

NEVILLE?! WHAT THE F. RASHAD, DID YOU BRING HIM. DUDE. YOUR FRIEND IS SHITTY AND NO ONE LIKES HIM, STOP BRINGING HIM PLACES. 

You know, at the beginning of the tour we heard Neville wasn't even planning on coming to the wedding so I guess that's........ ssssomethingg..g..........…

like maybe he’ll get shot this time. aim better, assassins 

Anyway, better people now! Hello friends! 

Hana says we were like a fairytale! Even Drake is getting poetic. Liam sees how much we love each other. Maxwell has won the wife lottery. Excellent, so much love here. 

LMAO....... SAVANNAH EYEING BERTRAND LIKE, HUH.... MARRIAGE..... HOW BOUT..... THAT...…. :|

Me and Maxwell, poster children for impulsivity: YEAH, JUST DO IT JUST JUMP INTO MARRIAGE IT'S GREAT

Bertrand : *SWEATS BUCKETS* 

Hgnngggg I would stab a man for that wedding food right now. I picked Drake’s beef pork stew and oh my god...……. How do they always make it sound so good??? 

[pause to google feijoada recipe]

Time for toasts! Maxwell’s...….. awwww. ;___; 

He starts it as a Once Upon A Time story of how Riley was whisked away to love a prince, but her happy ending was swapped when she fell for the court jester instead. 

(Flashing back to the apple festival and Maxwell being excited to be jester. Good times.) 

My heart is bursting. I love our story too T_T 

Andddd he just blurts out about the hippo tattoo to everyone and covers it up with an awkward metaphor. That's a deeply Maxwell moment and I love it. ♥ 

Omg. Might regret it but I desperately want to hear Olivia's idea of a wedding toast.

EXCUSE YOU MADELINE, SCHEDULE SMEDULE. THE BRIDE DEMANDS TO HEAR EVERYONE RAPTURE ABOUT OUR LOVE

Olivia:  So soon after I met Riley I was like "I hate that bitch" Riley: a-awwww....thanks...…… 

I'M DEAD "LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT" I WON OLIVIA’S RESPECT! :’D BEST DAY EVERRR

I mean we also got married but like. you get it. 

“As we say in Lythikos, you’re still alive, so drink!” never change. 

Liam: Aww...…. He tries but falls back on being super formal, referring to me as "Cordonia’s newest dutchess” and me “being a friend to Cordonia and [him]”

It's ok buddy, sneak out whenever you're ready. Hana and Drake can cover for you.

Hana: Hana wins the toast both for having the most insightful things to say, and also being LITERALLY THE ONLY ONE (besides Bertrand) TO TALK ABOUT MAXWELL. She also made me cry, so like, triple points. 😢 😭 I love her so muuuuch.

Drake: “I knew you were trouble when you walked innnn~” 

Those were some real nice things you said about me but YOU ARE THE BEST MAN. 

I know I'm great and we're all in love with me, but come on. 

Alright here’s Bertrand, he’s gotta talk about Maxwell. 

new big bro you will be NICE to your BROTHER or I STG

starting out rocky what with the “wow Maxwell made like so many mistakes” business. let him rest, it’s his day, good lord 

*snaps fingers in front of his face* BABS, FOCUS

OH. OH OKAY. HE TURNED IT AROUND. HE SAID HE LOVES HIS BROTHER IN FRONT OF EVERYONE. THE DANCING COMMENT AND EVERYTHING AND HE ADMITTED MAXWELL DOESN'T NEED TO GROW UP. I'M. OVERWHELMED. 

In which I will take any choice that turns Riley into a woo girl. And Kiara’s family continues to be my favorite. They’re coming over to Valtoria Revanasi all the time. 

After all that, my toast was … whelming. I did get my vows already, so I guess it’s whatever. 

First dance time! Aww this track is giving me HSS prom flashbacks. Michael I hope you're happy out there.

Apparently Maxwell picked the song, which can only mean he is a secret HSS fan. 

“Partners” is such a lovely title for these two. I've always loved the term, you're partners in crime, partners for life, but they're also dance partners.  

Number of times Maxwell has done the dip kiss: 4. This boy SMOOTH AS HECK. 

Bertrand is scandalized by our nonsense but Drake understands they should take what they can get.

(where are my boy’s damn jello shots) 

..... I think I just married Emperor Kuzco. 

Maxwell challenges Drake to a dance off, and holy shit Drake can dance. Or at least spin kick. I'm still fairly certain he has no sense of rhythm. 

....Drake did not dispute the best friend comment and I'm counting that as a win for Maxwell. 

time. for. CAKE????! 

Real life me is a little sad I don’t have cake. I do have fancy rice crispies from my friend’s coworker’s wedding. It’s no passionfruit cake tho :’( 

(they successfully distracted me from wait where’s Olivia with cake. How dare you take advantage of my short attention span.)

Maxwell and Riley have matching swords. I might cry. That's the best.

..... Incredibly tempting to fuck up and cut the table. But OUR CAKE ok doing this right. 

WHOA Bastien hello, where'd you come from.

Aww Madeline has pleased her goblin father.

Maxwell is so happy about the Cheetah cake SUCCESSSSSS [sneakily high fives Gladys]

[I hope Gladys gets cake. At least 3 slices for Gladys.]

Ooooh so Savannah and Drake's mom still came! She’s off taking care of Bertie. Bring forth the Walker matriarch, I wish to meet her. [ spoilers: we do not :( ]

Uh oh Savannah is pissed and I bet I know why~

Bertrand's only just noticed oh dear.

Savannahhhhhh pleeassssse. These two need to work on commutation so bad. I TOLD YOU TO BE DIRECT WITH THIS DUMBASS. YOU'RE STILL HINTING. 

Bride awkwardly hovers outside her own reception trying to get her fool friends to communicate AGAIN.

Like I'm pretty patient and Bertrand is family but oh my god I can't be there for everything

Riley is tired too, bless her. We could totally have snuck off with Maxwell at this point but no, here we are. 

Ok Riley's prize for taking the diamond option to help Bertrand one more time is that she gets to cause shenanigans. You know my girl loves a good shenanigan! 

Oh my god are we getting the band back together YESSSSS

Stop one: Drake. He knows Riley by this point and senses shenanigans a mile away. 

Drake: You don't need my permission, Savannah’s her own woman and all that.  Bertrand: But I'd like it. Drake: ok then FUCK NO. Bertrand: :’O

Bertrand making the shocked face is always funny. Same with his mad face. Really just Bertrand emoting = comedy gold.  

Drake fully won Maxwell's respect with the breakdancing, and he's won Riley's by realizing he has the power to make Bertrand do whatever he wants right now. 

Drake immediately regrets his abuse of power. Aaahaha ok, ease into it.

Somehow we talked Drake into singing. I'm just saying, this would have been so much easier with him last, when peer pressure was on the table.

Maxwell has been waiting for a moment like this moment his entire life, he'd pay to be part of this.

Liam would both do anything I asked and is always down for bromance time.

There is an option to panic and throw the bouquet at Neville. I have to try that at least once. But later. 

Man Riley should have demanded the boys reunite their quartet anyway. BEST WEDDING PRESENT EVERRRRR (after all their other gifts because those were actually really sweet)

Savannah: holy crap you're smiling  Bertrand: Well you make me happy so fukkin get used to it 

^Those are totally direct quotes. 

While I’m making other people happy - TIME FOR GIFTS! 

The book for Liam is a nice follow up to all his talk about how he wants to bring Cordonia peace. You’ve got faith that he can achieve his dreams! Aww.

Everyone else does surprised sprites but Drake is wary as ever. Smart dude.

Hana's gift............... Ok yeah let’s just...… move along. sigh. 

At least Riley succeeded through the roof with Maxwell’s gift, he was about to pass out with all the layers this gift has. Aww, that was so worth it. 

Honestly these were all kind of short. Meh. Maxwell’s was worth it, Liam’s was a nice second. 

Finally can we sneak off--??

MADELINE.............. I WILL STAB YOU WITH MAXWELL’S FANCY ACTION FIGURE, DON'T THINK I WON'T 

Time to see other friends! We go to Kiara first, which is good. I continue to be proud of her forever. 

Penelope is me at every party. Where are the dogs. I can people watch just fine next to the dogs.

HOOOOLY SHIT

DANIEL

D A N I E L

DANIEL IS HERE, TAKING SHOTS WITH LEO

What do you know :D I have friends! Well. One friend. And no family. They’re really determined to leave that open, huh. You know, I’m okay with it. 

Daniel, I admire your thrift, especially considering what it must have cost to come here on a waiter’s salary, but someone is definitely going to think you're here to serve food.

..... Whelp that came true immediately. Hey Regina. 

Leo goes off with him. I guess they're bros now! 

or .... well. I've seen the posts going around. Make this a trip to remember, Leo! ;) 

Awwww nice moment with Regina. Look how far we’ve come!  I've always liked her. She's a practical lady. 

GLADYS

GLADYS IS HERE TO LET US GET ALONE TIME, FINALLY. BLESS YOU GLADYS, I COULD KISS YOU but that’s for Maxwell 

Wait...... I'm getting suspicious. We're just. wandering away......… mmm :|

oh noOOOOOOOOOOooo--[all goes dark]

Aw mannnnnnnn Gladys D: Riley is never trusting anyone in this broke-ass country again. Remember how we kept talking about how in New York you can trust people to be upfront with their intentions???? 

[throws Daniel and Hana into a suitcase] COME ON MAXWELL, WE’RE MOVING BACK TO NEW YORK. 

IS THAT SOMEONE ANTON, GLADYS

:’((((((((((((

I’m so sad, I liked her. I hope we can still win her back to our side. She seemed so surprised every time we treated her decently, I think there’s a chance. She probably got into this plot before she got to know us. 

Things we know: 

Liam is the only LI who doesn’t meet you in the hedge maze if you’re his LI. On the one hand, getting the king to sneak out is a whole nother level, but also he’s likely to have a big part in next week’s plot. 

The poor guy is also still definitely in love with you, even if you softened the blow with the closure option. And he’s especially taking it hard if you’re with Drake. We’ll see how those things go together. 

Olivia disappeared! Before cake. For their plot to work, they still need her around to make her queen. She’s loyal to Liam no matter what, but I’m still holding out hope that befriending her or not is going to play a part whether that loyalty extends completely to you. 

She was also our strongest defense, what with all her knives and proclivity for stabbing. So Olivia is likely to be okay, but who knows if they will be. 

Do they have our friends? We didn’t see them after gifts. concern.

what do you think? 2 more chapters? Wrap up evil plots and then have good things, hopefully? or just keep adding chapters and then it doesn’t have to end hahaaaa 

[bookishbloggerreviews]

Vicious --An Honest Review

[Warning: I give an honest review that focuses not only on plot but on writing and character as well. As this is an opinion, you can take it as seriously as you want, but understand that my goal is to review, not shame or praise the author.]

Welcome back, my fellow readers! Can you guess what month it is?! SPOOKTOBER OBVIOUSLY. 

Anyway, in tribute to its sequel being released (drum roll please...), today I will be reviewing... VICIOUS by V.E. SCHWAB.

Yay!

(Not sarcastic tho because this book is actually hella fine.) 

I just barely read this for the first time (yes I know it’s been out for forever but I’m one of those binge-readers who likes to wait until a series is completed before I jump into it.) and can I say that this is a fantastically atmospheric book? Like, I believe a TV show and movie are in order. Yes please, thank you, and don’t forget to keep the outfits/hair colors the way it should be. 

I ended up reading this on paper, so I don’t have to give multiple scores like I do with audiobooks, but needless to say, I was still blown away. Some of the points in the story could have used a little more finesse, and I would’ve liked to see the reader involved in Victor’s plot a little more so it was more of an:

“Aha!” moment. But in the end, this was still the definition of a fantastic read. 

Overall I gave this book a 9/10. (All these high reads lately keep surprising me to be honest. What did I do to deserve such good luck?) 

For those of you who know my rating system and follow my reviews, I start with an average expectation of 5/10 and work up. So clearly something was going well. 

Now, I’m not going to pick apart the whole story for two reasons. 1. The majority of us who have read this book understands that it is incredibly polished and doesn’t really need to be picked apart in such a way. And 2. I usually pick apart elements that are poorly written so I can expound upon them more, which, seeing as there are so few in this book, kind of makes it difficult. 

But I will say this. 

Over the story, there were two distinct things that I noticed that gave me an awkward sort of vibe where the characters felt more like puppets than characters, and where the writing was a bit lacking. 

1. THE BETRAYAL:

I had a really hard time believing that this part of the book was written by the same author as the rest of it simply for a few facts. 

-If Eli and Victor were already that close to being enemies and that close to killing each other, why even help each other in the first place? I understand Eli’s point of view, and how Victor should’ve been arrested and taken into custody, but at the same time, they’re supposed to be best friends. Wouldn’t best friends be more inclined to hide the body? (seeing as neither of them really loved the person at that point?)

-Why did Victor go to Eli and attack him if 1. He knew that he could heal and he probably wouldn’t die? 2. The cops were already onto him and their dorm/apartment would be the first place they’d look? And 3. Victor is supposed to be smart enough to plan his revenge, but how does he succeed in one revenge plot and fail in another? 4. And if he was as emotionless as the book claims, why is he directed by rage, if that’s the excuse we were to use? 

-Why use lethal methods? Eli shoots Victor, not once, not twice, but three times. As someone who is supposed to be detached from those kinds of feelings, pulling the trigger three times had to be a conscious decision. Again, leading back to the whole idea “if they’re already that close to betrayal, why even be best friends?”

-Furthermore, if someone dies, they can be brought back to life as long their brain is still oxygenated and they have blood flowing. As pre-med students, why not just try to bring the accidental victim back to life? Why not make them an EO?

Again, there are so many inconsistencies that I had to bring it up. To me, it just didn’t make sense whatsoever that Eli and Victor would’ve gotten into a head-on fight that early on, and I feel like their interactions during that experience were highly dramatized for two people who are supposed to have lost some of their humanity. 

Now let’s talk about the second thing on my list. I’ve already briefly mentioned this before but...

2. THE REVENGE.

I keep having this problem with books that think that telling us “this is going to work out” while giving us a little bit of doubt, is considered high-quality writing. 

It isn’t. 

It’s predictable. Once you do that I would be surprised if it didn’t work out at least somewhat to plan. And for a book like this, I was disappointed for it to fall into that same trap of predictability. 

I’m not saying that the author should flat out tell “this is how he’s going to do his betrayal and here’s everything that you should know before he does it.” 

But I find that the best books, the books that keep me the most on my toes, are the ones that quietly reveal how/why the villain is going to act at the beginning of the book, and in the end after the deed has actually been committed. 

For example, in the Lies of Locke Lamora, probably one of the best books fantasy high-stakes books I’ve ever read, the author states the importance of giving a financial sacrifice whenever a thief kills someone. At the end of the book, when their large sum of money seems to disappear and everyone is looking for it, Locke knows exactly where it is. It’s on a ship--leaving harbor--because it was stolen from him. But instead of being honest and saying “all the money is on this ship” which he knew would’ve changed the other characters course of action, he lies. He says “that’s a plague ship you need to blow it up” and when they do, the characters realize that that is his sacrifice for the deaths he’s caused. He threw away all of his money because of his need for a sacrifice. 

Because the description of the importance of a financial sacrifice, and the actual financial sacrifice are so far apart, and are mentioned but not currently present in the reader's mind, when the reader finishes the story they’ll be face-palming going: how was this not obvious!? 

And the effect of “how was this not obvious” needs to be in every book with a betrayal, revenge, or “plot”. 

We could’ve seen it with Vicious, if Victor was already somewhat weak, or was already beginning to lose the fight. If we went in with the slightest inkling, and I’m not saying that it had to be in our face, but just the slightest telltale sign, it would’ve accomplished that effect. 

But this wasn’t so much as the problem as the Betrayal was. 

Overall, I thought that these two pieces felt a little out of place in a book as complex and well-thought-out as this one. All of the characters had interesting dynamics to them, and every single one was interesting to read. I loved the romance between Eli and Serena and I thought it was fun to watch Eli want to kill her every moment of every day but as soon as she was actually dead it was like “oh shit”. And I loved the element of killing themselves. 

It’s kind of a morbid idea, that people would try to kill themselves to gain superpowers, but I thought that it was so well-handled in this book that I was just fascinated with it. 

So again, a 9/10. I can’t wait to read Vengeful (which I believe is already out by now). If you have any other reading recommendations, I would love to hear them. If not, please give a like and a follow. I am currently doing a novelist mistakes series if you, yourself are a writer and are interested in writing quality content. If not, then thank you for the read. 

I will see you all next time!

~A Bookish Blogger out. 

[searchingformylostpan]

Jealousy is a powerful emotion. . it led me to make a very stupid choice last night. when I say you don't understand you have claimed that you can't feel jealousy. that's understandable that's really lucky actually. it hurts a lot knowing that you say we've done the same things and yet she's getting to sleep with you in your bed while that would make kind of be so beneficial right now. This is probably my impatient side talking but like what if we both (I'm meaning mostly me, my fear of failure held me back from trying 100% last time which i feel incredibly guilty about) give it our all and just accept love... idk why I'm so terrified of us, i absolutely love us, love you and everything about you. I have some fears of abandonment which you're never given me anything to think you would do that to me, but theyre still prevalent in my subconscious.

You're always my mind, I'm always wishing i was by your side. After you helped me those 3 days i felt so close to you like we were unbreakable. I was ready to spend the rest of my life happily with you. Then as it always does a tiny spark of doubt happened when all i wanted to do was be in my own home and you (for very valid reasons) didn't feel comfortable there. I tried to be understanding, and i tried to be good and not go there alone but i felt uncomfortable in my own skin and all i wanted was my bed. I tried to be strong and not use but as expected of an addict with only a few days clean i fucked up the second i was left alone. Only moments later when i realized what i had done both by using and pushing you away to get to go home i broke down. I never wanted to lose you and i especially never wanted to hurt you like that again. You were so wonderful helping me through those terrible 3 days. On the last day when we went to the hardware store and made plans i was so happy. R r though i was still going though the depression of the come down being with you makes me so happy. I was a little hurt by the talk of how terrible my choice in friends was...i get it. I know they need to be removed from my life, they're not conducive to my lasting sobriety. But that doesn't make them terrible people. If simply being an addict made you terrible i would be right there with them (i kinda am tho I've done some unforgivable things to you this year). They all do have good parts to them which is why i let them in my life in the fist place. A couple i will be sad to see go but they understand what I'm trying to do and support me. The rest are still decent but i really can only tolerate them while high so no loss there. I was still not convinced that i needed to do that for me, so i till it a bit harsh and think that's where my seed of doubt came from. Everything you did was prefect. You wanted me to succeed, be healthy and be able to reach my potential. It's still hard but I'm starting to see my worth, something i was not able to manage really at all at that time. You have helped me grow so much over the past couple years, and i know i have a lot more to go. I really wish i hadn't pushed so hard when i needed you the most. You are a person with feelings too and i can't expect you to sit back and take all the shit i was throwing at you without needing a change. I fully accept that you need to heal from everything and find your place in the world again so you can have healthier relationships with everyone in your life. I respect that a lot and i think it's a really great thing to do, not many people care enough to do something like that. I'm just a bit sad if has to mostly exclude me. I'm not questioning why but for many reasons it hurts...im not loving where we are at now but it's not nothing, and it can only get better from here (well yes it could get worse but I'm not planning on fucking up again like last night and I'm putting things in place now to prevent that from happening... gathering healthy coping mechanismsto go to instead of using drugs to block the problem only resulting in making more problems....). I'm really hoping that the healing that needs to be done can go swiftly and without further incident or hurt on either side... i can only control myself, but i know you care about me a lot and have my best interest in mind, really just wanting me to be ok. I'm not ok quite yet, and i don't exactly know how to get there when the pain of missing you is this intense... but my first attempt at a healthy way to cope is this, typing incredibly long tumblr posts for you to maybe read lol. If you read the whole thing thank you and I'm sorry it's so long...i love you with all my heart and I'm looking forward to tomorrow even if i only get to see you for an hour or so, i want to be with you all the time but I'll take what i can get in promise of a healthier future whatever that may look like. Love you forever my pan

- fae

[hopeshauntedmyghosts]

I loved Devilman Crybaby because nothing was the way I expected

I’m not sorry for my obsession with Devilman Crybaby lately.

I tried to write down my thoughts about why I liked it so much :) Just to get it out of my head since it’s so hard to describe in person, and also since I’m reblogging so many cute and silly things that I thought I’d try to put a little more depth into it. Maybe people will agree, maybe not, maybe some others have said similar things already; but I want to express this with my own words. Naturally, spoilers for the entirety of the series. Also I guess people that really, really hate Ryokira should not read (I want to say I stayed neutral and treated it as a matter of fact, but I don’t want to ruin anyone’s day if they think I failed at doing so). Also also, I haven’t seen/read any other adaption of the Devilman franchise except for one OVA.

 Before I continue I want to say that I think there’s a massive difference in how you experience the story whether you watch for the first or any other time – yeah obviously, since it’s full of plottwists so that’s a given, but I think that these are special in Devilman Crybaby, since they don’t only create tension, but instead change the series entirely. So, to get everyone on the same term, I will first re-tell the story the way I now experience it after having watched it for god knows how many times already - namely, from Ryo/Satan’s point of view:

 Satan plans to destroy God and humanity so that his kind, the demons, can finally live there in peace. He’s reborn as Ryo, gets to know Akira, and falls in love. Years later, when he’s got the authorities to make a difference in society (a famous scientist that people trust and is broadcasted regularly), so he knows his plan could finally succeed, that’s when and why he tricks Akira into becoming a demon – so he’ll live with him, both as demons, in the demon-only world he wants to create. So Akira becomes this half-demon, however, stays loyal to his human side; wants to protect mankind, loves his families and Miki, wants to unite the other half-demons etc. So Ryo (unaware) tries to separate him from the humans by taking things away from him step by step – first his biological parents, then his caretakers, then everyone’s trust (by revealing his identity on TV), and finally Miki; just so that Akira loses his ties to the human side and has no choice but to embrace his demon one. Of course Akira doesn’t accept this, and even then, Satan refuses to fight him, to hurt him; but in the heat of the battle, out of both self-defense and some kind of blood lust, he kills Akira – not realizing it at first, that’s when he confesses his love, and only then realizes he killed the only person he ever loved, that ever loved (cared about) him, and now has to live with that fact for eternity, and his regret is the message he and the viewer learned.

 What fascinates me about this story, and you can already guess by the way I wrote it (making Ryo/Satan the subject): All this time throughout this series, you think you’re watching Akira’s story, about how he became this antihero and has to fight injustice done to him by someone he trusted. But the entire time, it’s Ryo’s story instead, about how his love turned into hatred and made him lose everything in the end. He has this goal, to destroy humanity, set long before the series begins, and his motivation, to turn Akira into a demon, is what gets the plot running. Everything that happens to Akira in the meantime (losing everyone he cares about) doesn’t actually matter for the story. Plot, yeah, of course; otherwise the series would be two episodes long and not have the same psychological/emotional effect. But that’s not the story; that’s not how it started, and that’s not how it ends. And this is completely unrecognizable from watching the series for the first time.

Same for the relationship of Akira and Ryo; you get that Ryo is the antagonist from the very beginning (trying to shoot innocent people, lying to Akira about his intentions at the Sabbath party), so what is his goal behind trying to get close to the protagonist? Even someone like me, who likes a lot of gay* romance in media, totally thought he was using him for something. Trying to make Akira trust only him; obviously to have the naïve boy become his marionette and help him achieve his goal, right? That’s how stories in this heteronormative world of ours work, right?? Nah dude, not here: it’s simply because he wants just that, out of actual romantic feelings. His tender physical intimacy with Akira, or his helping/protecting him whilst fighting demons, is no cunning strategy, but -in those moments at least- as genuine, innocent and loving as it looks. It’s the same: you get tricked into believing it’s Akira’s story about being used by Ryo (for the plot), when instead it’s Ryo’s story about his romantic obsession with Akira – the motivation behind all events, unspoken until the last episode.

While you’re undoubtedly watching from Akira’s point of view, him being the typical shounen/seinen protagonist, silly but sincere, eating meat like a beast, fucking/wanting all these women (relatable/idealistic character for these viewer groups), contrast-character Ryo has this omnipresence over the series, since he’s all that: the one that starts the story, the one that ends it, the one whose character development leads the way. But by watching for the first time, you don’t know that he does ANY of that, and that’s how they use Akira’s POV as an insanely clever method of tricking you into believing the story is going an entirely different path, which leads to the big shocker at the end, and an entirely different atmosphere when watching for the second or third time.

 So…?

I know Crybaby put more focus on Ryo than many (or all?) of the other Devilman adaptions including the original manga, but this is still technically the original story. From. The. 70s!!! Never in my life have I seen such a complex way of storytelling from that many years ago, and with gay romance** no less – in Japan, in the 70’s, from a male author; practically a death wish!

Now notice how I’ve said “with” gay romance instead of “about” – since Crybaby is a story about said romance, as I’ve explained, while other adaptions probably aren’t; I know in some Ryo doesn’t even exist, so I’m aware Crybaby is an entirely different take on this story from the 70’s, for some maybe a whole different story altogether. But I personally still see it as the idea being there in the original manga (where Satan admits to loving Akira as well), and Crybaby decided to focus on it in an original way, and that’s what makes it different and unique. Akira and Ryo’s relationship alone has a start, middle, climax, and ending; it’s bittersweet yet haunting. If the idea of all this was incredible for the 70s, Crybaby still managed to make it incredible even for 2018.

*Keep in mind that here I’m talking about the first time watching, when you can’t know about Satan yet and Ryo is very clearly presented as male. I’m aware about the problem with Satan’s gender, being a hermaphrodite and all, and I have an opinion it, but it’s not what I mean here.

**Satan is a hermaphrodite, “he” does not have a gender, doesn’t need one, obviously doesn’t care. But Ryo is clearly presented as male, in any adaption he’s in and including Crybaby, where he canonically falls in love with Akira as Ryo, in his human form. It’s gay in my book, and I doubt the story, being from that time at that place, would have risked showing a *potential* gay love if that wasn’t even intended in the first place.

  Please do keep in mind this is simply my opinion tho, :) I’m sorry if I offended anyone with anything I said. I’m not saying that nothing else in Crybaby besides Akira’s and Ryo’s relationship was good. This is simply where I see the story at. I bawled my eyes out at Miki² or the rapper boys, but as much as I love them too, I interpret them as (great!) plot-elements that help develop the bigger picture of the story – making Akira distrust Ryo as backfire to the plan the latter had laid out for them.

 Finally, and unrelated, but isn’t it amazing how in Devilman no Uta, which is the opening on a kids-targeted take on the franchise in which Ryo doesn’t exist (?), there exists the line

The man awoken by the kindness of the first human love he knew

Which is 100% Ryo’s story in Crybaby?? Makes this shit even more haunting than it was before. I fucking love this show.

[theemichelleb]

WOC in Tech

I saw this picture and just knew I had to do a blog post about being a woman of color in technology.

I won’t talk about how long ago it was that I found the image though… embarrassing, LOL.

I wasn’t sure where I wanted to go with this, but now that I am at a company where I stick out as 1 of 2 black women in the organization, I think I’ve found the perfect topic to use with this image. Just to be clear, 1of 2 black women, not just women of color, lol. With that being said, now I do feel more weight on my shoulders to succeed, but I also feel more confidence in the work that I do and confidence in my experience during deliberations and implementation for my project. It’s okay to feel the pressure, just don’t let it break you or make you buckle. You’ve got this!

I’ve developed a greater sense of admiration for not only black women in technology but all women of color. We really do create an atmosphere for continued success, which turns into examples for other young women of color to look up to and use as motivation to keep pushing themselves. Just think about it, on top of being a woman of color in any business/corporate/professional setting, add in the way we have to balance our “attitudes”, excel in expanding our knowledge more than our male counterparts, and advocating for ourselves (which is also advocating for all women) because for some reason what one of us does is a representation of all women that look like us. Then on top of that we have to deal with men’s grubby little eyes looking at us wherever we go… EVEN IN THE WORKPLACE. But that’s a complete different topic for another time lol.

ANYWAY!

I can excitedly say I just completed my first certification exam in Amazon Web Services and whew chile… that process was GHET-TO LOL. But God!

On a serious note tho, lol, I’m super proud of myself for persevering and not giving up even in the midst of my doubt and frustrations. I also have to give a super big shout out to my tribe and everybody that was rooting for me and sending me words of encouragement and prayers up on my behalf. It really took everything I had to push me across the finish line, but we made it!

I think one of the most accomplishing parts of it was my determination to go after this influencing another young lady on my team to finally start her studies and get her cert as well. She had been planning to get started since she got hired last year and finally got the motivation when I started inquiring and pushing to start my studies, lol.

Anyway, the purpose of this weeks post is just to give a shout out to all the D.O.P.E. women killing it in the tech industry as well as all the other STEAM fields out there. It’s hard persevering in these fields as black women, but we overcome neigh sayers everyday. Just wanted to take a second to clap it up for the women that encourage me to push myself and apply myself in a career I never expected to wind up in. As much as I believe it’s imperative to encourage our young people to be exposed in artistic endeavors, it’s also just as important to encourage the youth to explore all facets of career types and professional fields.

I also don’t often toot my own horn, but ya’ll I’m so excited and proud of myself for this first accomplishment!

No, this is not the end. I have a few more feats I’m aiming to tackle, and even though sometimes I feel I haven’t been quite as productive during this pandemic as I “should” be, the fact of the matter is I’m being just as productive as God intended me to be.

Productivity is determined by the mind of the producer.

My goal (after sitting down and really thinking about what I wanted to do to better myself after accepting this dream job) was to place time constraints on ideas I’ve been playing around with for years and turn them into actual goals. Success!

We are in a time of social distancing and that comes with some sad moments, but today I want us to take a minute out to celebrate our wins. Even if we think they may be small… nothing is too small to be celebrated. Did you read a book, learn a new skill, pass a test, enroll in an online course for a topic of interest, watch a movie you’d been putting off, video chat with somebody you hadn’t spoken to in a while? Anything! Let us know so we can clap for you too!

Also, what are some tips you’d give a young woman interested in getting into the field you work in if you’re a woman of color in tech? Share your expertise, share what you love about the work you do, and share how you’d love to see more women of color contribute in your field or your work environment. Let’s get the conversations going for how we can encourage one another and grow our numbers in these offices we work in. Let’s change the narrative from 1 of 2 black women or women of color to 1 of too many to count!

Share your accomplishments, tips, and tricks in the comments below or under any of my posts on FaceBook, IG, or Tumblr! Can’t wait to celebrate with you sis!

Be D.O.P.E!