#dork 🤓
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me-myself-and-my-fos · 1 year ago
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self shippers tag your f/os
[pro/shippers dni this ain’t for you]
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modernmanblues · 3 months ago
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Hugh Grant as Charles in Four Weddings and A Funeral (1994)
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slime-crafters · 11 months ago
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Out of all the people to hate in Pelican Town (cough pierre cough), hating Demetrius seems like a wild choice
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zibanejad · 3 months ago
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cc sabathia, 1st ballot hall of famer 🤧
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curiosa-hypnotica · 3 months ago
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Because you're a corruptible dork ;)
Who, like the other anon said, posts interesting and cool and hot things!!!
Laughs uncomfortably 🥵
Thank you, anon!
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contortedmind · 4 months ago
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Finished rereading A Study In Scarlet. I completely misunderstood a lot of it when I first read it so I'm very glad I reread it. Gonna read The Sign Of Four tomorrow 😎
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vroomvroomvroommf · 16 hours ago
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if he loses the championship this year it’ll be because of this
HE DID THE FUCKING GRIDDY
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justiisms · 6 months ago
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"Hey Teddie, do you like to sing? If you do, then you're definitely a bearitone, hahaha~!!"
*however, teddie just stares blankly at the laughing junpei, the bear not knowing what the pun is! he's never heard the term baritone before, so he leans in close to yuta and whispers in his ear*
"Can you explain it to me, Yuta? I can't bear to tell him that I don't get it..."
"O-Oh, geez...* Yuta just gives an eye roll at that pun!! He cannot believe how much of a dork his big brother is sometimes!! "I bet you've been waiting to use that for a while, huh.... hm?" Then when Teddie leans in to whisper that into his ear, he can't help but chortle under his breath:
"Aww it would be so funny to see his expression if you did tell him that, though. Heh heh... But in all seriousness, it's a play on the word 'baritone', which can describe a type of male singing voice. And since you're a bear, and 'bari' sounds like 'bear'...yeah. He's such a dork, huh... Heh heh heh.."
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vanweezer · 10 months ago
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they could never make me hate u small cuts ep
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yagurlhere · 1 year ago
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I SWEAR IF I SEE ANOTHER "Fan proposes to Test Tube 😊😊😊☺☺☺🥰🥰🥰🥰😍😍😍😍😍❤❤❤❤❤💖💖💖💖💖" video I'm going crazy.
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me-myself-and-my-fos · 2 years ago
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My f/os, watching me buy another highlighter set after just getting one the day before:
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lazy-ahh · 27 days ago
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You said I could send u a request! so I am taking u up on ur offer 🤓👆🏽if u write for them…Mohawk mark varient x male reader? I’ve been craving something hurt/comforty?as comforty u can get with those dorks ANYWAY thank yewwww i really do love your writing it’s SO GOOOODD AISBWOSBSUDBDUVE
ME? CARE? LOL. LMAO.
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pairing mohawk! mark grayson x male reader
imagine the most unhinged version of mark grayson—now give him a mohawk, piercings, and exactly zero self-preservation instincts. this is that fic. (also maybe some feelings. but we don’t talk about those.)
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the warehouse is dark, smells like motor oil and regret, and you’re really wishing you hadn’t gotten captured today. like, seriously? it was your day off. you could be bed-rotting right now. scrolling through dumb videos. eating cereal straight from the box like a feral raccoon. anything but this.
but no. instead, you’re tied to a chair in some crusty villain lair, your favorite hoodie probably getting dust stains, and your only entertainment is the fact that this dumbass in front of you actually thinks he can use you as leverage.
"you really think this’ll work?" you mutter, testing the ropes around your wrists. they don’t budge—not that you’re trying too hard. you could get out if you wanted. but where’s the fun in that?
the villain—some guy with a fancy energy glove that probably cost way too much for how ugly it is—grins at you like he’s just won the lottery. "oh, it’ll work. invincible cares about you. he’ll negotiate."
you blink. then you laugh—a sharp, disbelieving sound that echoes off the warehouse walls. "invincible? negotiate? dude, he’s gonna rip your spine out through your nose."
glove-guy’s smile flickers. "shut up."
"no, no, i gotta know," you continue, leaning forward as much as the ropes allow. "who even told you this was a good idea? like, did you see him at all before you decided ‘yeah, kidnapping his whatever-i-am is a solid plan’? because—and i cannot stress this enough—that guy is fucking feral."
glove-guy’s eye twitches. "he won’t risk your life."
"oh my god," you groan, tipping your head back. you don't deny it, though. "you actually don’t get it. he’s not gonna risk my life because he’s gonna erase yours before you even blink."
"enough!" he snaps, raising his stupid glove like it’s intimidating.
you roll your eyes. "bro, i’ve literally seen that guy bite someone’s ear off for looking at him wrong. you’re toast."
before you could get another taunt in, he decides to punch you on your side. hard. you cough, eyes wide, before you glare at the motherfucker. you ignore the way your side actually stung. oh, he's about to get put on a t-shirt once you're out of this chair. glove-guy opens his mouth to retort—
—and then the wall explodes.
concrete shrapnel flies, dust clouds billowing up in slow-motion like the universe itself is screaming oh shit. and then—there he is.
mark.
silhouetted against the moonlight like some kind of feral, bloodthirsty angel, floating in the wreckage of the wall he just obliterated because subtlety was never in his vocabulary.
not that you’re looking or anything.
okay, fine, you’re looking. who wouldn’t? mark’s all lean muscle and barely-contained violence, his stupid skintight suit doing nothing to hide the way his body moves—like every inch of him is built for destruction and looks good doing it. his shoulders are broad enough to throw a car (and have, multiple times), tapering down to a waist that’s stupidly narrow for someone who eats entire pizzas in one sitting. his arms are corded with muscle, veins standing out along his forearms as he cracks his knuckles, and his thighs—god, his thighs—could probably crush a watermelon. or a skull. whichever’s more convenient.
his mohawk’s sticking up in every direction like he just stuck his finger in an outlet (again), the shaved sides of his head only emphasizing the sharp cut of his jaw. his grin’s all teeth—sharp and way too pleased with himself, like he knows exactly what he’s doing to you and is loving every second of it.
and god, his eyes—locked onto glove-guy with the kind of unholy glee usually reserved for kids in a candy store. or maybe a cat who just knocked a glass off the table. same energy, really.
oh, and the piercings.
because of course mark’s the type to have them—two little silver studs on each side of his eyebrows, catching the light when he tilts his head like he’s considering the best way to ruin someone’s day. two more at the corners of his mouth, glinting when he smirks (which is always), drawing attention to the way his lips curl when he’s about to say something especially shitty. and if you happen to notice the flash of metal on his tongue when he licks his lips—well. that’s your business.
not that you care.
"ohhh," mark croons, voice dripping with the kind of mock sympathy that absolutely means someone’s about to lose several internal organs—messily. he tilts his head, the movement sharp enough to make the silver studs in his eyebrows glint under the flickering warehouse lights.
"you thought taking him would work?" he asks, sweet as poisoned honey. he takes a single step forward, the crunch of broken glass under his boot sounding suspiciously like bones snapping. his shoulders roll, the fabric of his suit straining over the muscle as he cracks his knuckles—one by one, slow, like he’s counting down to disaster.
"that’s adorable," he taunts.
you snort. "told you."
glove-guy’s face does this fantastic little journey from confident to oh no to full-blown panic in about half a second flat. "i—i have your partner!" he yelps, shoving the glowing end of his stupid glove against your temple like it’ll help. "i’ll kill him!"
you sigh, long-suffering. you don't even bother to try and deny that you aren't his partner (yet). "mark, please don’t monologue."
"you don’t monologue," mark shoots back, pointing an accusing finger at you like you’re the problem here.
"my bad," you deadpan, "you just looked like you were about to start your boring ted talk again. this is a very uncomfortable chair, you know. if this was any other time, i wouldn’t have minded falling asleep."
mark’s eye twitches. "falling asl— you’re literally at gunpoint."
"eh." you shrug. "technically it’s a glove-point. and honestly? after the week i’ve had? this is almost relaxing."
"relaxing," mark repeats, flat.
"y’know, aside from the whole potential death thing. but hey, at least the company’s entertaining." you grin up at him. "speaking of—you gonna do something, or are you just here to hover dramatically?"
mark’s grin goes sharp. "oh, i’m doing something."
then he moves.
one second, he’s floating there like an overgrown, pissed-off bumblebee. the next—
crunch.
glove-guy doesn't even get a scream out before mark's got him by the wrist, squeezing until the metal creaks like a soda can under a hydraulic press. the guy makes this hilarious squeaking noise, halfway between a deflating balloon and a stepped-on mouse, and you would feel bad for him—
—if mark wasn't currently laughing, wild and unhinged, the sound bouncing off warehouse walls as he yanks the guy forward by his own stupid glove hard enough to hear something pop. "hey. hey." his voice drops to a purr, all rough edges and promised violence, while his free hand comes up to pat the guy's cheek—harder than necessary, his eyebrow piercings catching the dim light as he tilts his head. "you took my favorite nuisance. you really thought that'd end well?"
you gasp, jerking forward so dramatically the chair legs screech against concrete. "favorite? mark, i'm blushing." you try to press a hand to your chest before remembering your arms are still tied behind you, so you just flop your whole upper body forward instead, nearly toppling the chair. "wait till i tell everyone you finally admitted it—"
"shut up," mark hisses, but his ears are pink under the shaved sides of his mohawk, the flush creeping down his neck. he definitely squeezes glove-guy's wrist harder just to distract from it. "you're barely above tolerable on your best day."
"aw, you do pay attention to my good days!" you beam, kicking your feet again for emphasis. "that's practically a love confession in mark-speak. should we get matching bracelets? couple's tattoos? maybe—"
"i will throw you into the sun," mark growls, but there's no heat behind it—not when he's still got that stupid pink tinge to his ears, not when his grip on glove-guy has loosened just enough to show he's distracted.
glove-guy whimpers. "can i—"
"no," you and mark say in unison. you grin; mark scowls. it's beautiful.
glove-guy whimpers. "p-please—"
mark pats his cheek once more. "aw. no."
then he punches him so hard the guy spins mid-air before hitting the ground like a sack of wet flour.
silence.
you blink. "…that was almost cool."
mark immediately flips you off. "you’re welcome."
"i could've handled it myself," you say, just to watch him scowl, your voice dripping with that special mix of smugness only someone who regularly bench-presses sedans can pull off.
"oh, really," mark deadpans, crossing his arms so hard his biceps strain against his sleeves. "really. you, tied to a chair by fucking dollar store rope, were totally about to—"
you wiggle your fingers just enough - a quick twist of your wrists, that specific angle you've practiced a thousand times - and snap, the ropes explode into fibers like someone set off a party popper full of disappointment. the frayed ends flutter to the ground in slow motion, one sad strand landing directly on mark's boot.
"ta-da," you deadpan, shaking out your hands like you've just performed some grand illusion instead of literally just flexing. "any requests? maybe saw a lady in half? make your boring personality disappear?"
mark blinks. once. twice. his nose scrunches up like he's smelled something rotten. "...you sat there the whole time."
"magic tricks," you sing-song, shaking out your wrists with exaggerated flair. "who knew?"
"i hate you," mark announces, so vehemently it makes the unconscious bad guys twitch.
"you love me," you correct, standing up and brushing nonexistent dust off your pants just to annoy him further. "admit it. you think my 'sit still and look pretty' strategy is inspired."
mark growls, grabs you by the back of your hoodie, and takes off into the night before you can even yelp.
"rude!" you shout over the wind, flailing dramatically as the city blurs into streaks of neon and shadow beneath you. your hoodie flaps like a demented cape, nearly smacking you in the face.
"you’re welcome!" mark shouts back, grinning like the little shit he is—all sharp teeth and way too pleased with himself.
you groan, twisting just enough to yank his hand off your hoodie (gently, because you like this hoodie, and mark has the grip strength of a hydraulic press). with a quick burst of energy, you steady yourself mid-air, falling into pace beside him.
the city sprawls below, a mess of glittering lights and jagged rooftops. for once, it’s quiet—or as quiet as it gets when you’re floating a few thousand feet up with wind screaming past your ears. when the two of you are in a room together, silence is rare. usually, it’s all snark and shoving and mark actively trying to set things on fire. but this? this is… nice.
you glance over at him.
moonlight cuts across his face like liquid silver, softening the usual manic edge in his expression - the sharp angles of his cheekbones, the permanent crease between his brows when he's plotting murder. he looks calm. almost peaceful, if you could ever associate that word with a guy who once bit a drone out of the sky for fun and then spat out the shrapnel like sunflower seeds.
his mohawk’s a disaster in the best way, strands defying gravity like they’ve personally rejected the concept of physics, each one a tiny rebellion against order. it shouldn’t suit him—but it does, the same way a lit fuse suits a stick of dynamite. beautiful in that dangerous, unpredictable way that makes your throat tight.
and his mouth - god, his mouth. chapped from the wind, always twisted into some variation of a smirk or a snarl, but right now just... still. the moonlight catches on his teeth when he exhales, turning them into tiny blades of ivory. not that you're thinking about how they'd feel against your skin. definitely not.
(you're absolutely thinking about that.)
you look away, throat weirdly tight. "...thanks."
mark immediately side-eyes you like you just confessed to secretly being a llama. "what."
"you heard me," you mutter, suddenly very interested in a random skyscraper.
"no, no, hang on—" he flips mid-air to face you, hovering like an overexcited hornet. "did you just—thank me?"
"oh my god, forget it—"
"no, no, this is historic," mark cackles, zooming in closer like this is the best thing he’s heard all week. "was that gratitude? from you? do i need to check for a concussion? did glove-guy poison you?"
you shove at his face. "shut up. i take it back. i regret everything."
mark dodges, still grinning. "too late. i’m framing this moment. putting it in a museum."
"i hate you," you announce, flipping him off for good measure.
"you love me," he shoots back, smug as hell.
"i tolerate you."
"bullshit," mark says, but his voice is weirdly soft. then, like he can’t help himself, he adds, "...you’re welcome, though."
there’s a beat.
then—
"awww, was that sentiment? from you?" you gasp, clutching your chest. you try to ignore the way your cheeks feel warmer. you blame it on the cold wind. "do you have a concussion? should i check for—"
"i’m going to punch you."
"liar."
mark growls, but he doesn’t deny it.
(and if he flies a little closer the rest of the way home, well. that’s nobody’s business.)
(≧∇≦)ノ☆
the two of you touch down on a rooftop, still bickering, when your foot catches on the ledge. you stumble—hard—and suddenly, your vision whites out in a burst of pain.
"ow, what the—?" you glance down.
oh.
oh.
there’s a gash in your side, deep enough that your hoodie’s soaked through with blood. huh. that… probably should’ve hurt more earlier. maybe the adrenaline wore off. maybe you’re just that good at ignoring pain. or maybe—
"what the fuck."
mark’s voice is wrong. too quiet. too flat.
you look up, grinning weakly. "hey, so, fun story—turns out glove-guy’s stupid glove was kinda sharp—"
mark moves faster than you can blink. one second, he’s across the roof. the next, his hands are on your shoulders, shoving you down onto a ventilation unit. his fingers are trembling.
"why didn’t you say anything?!" he snarls, but it’s not anger in his eyes—it’s panic, raw and unfiltered.
you blink. "uh. forgot?"
mark chokes on a sound that’s half-laugh, half-sob. "forgot. you forgot you were stabbed."
"to be fair," you wheeze, "you were really distracting. all the—hnng—exploding walls and… and the smug face—"
"shut up. shut up." mark’s hands hover over your wound like he’s scared to touch it. his usual swagger’s gone, replaced by something terrifyingly fragile. "you’re bleeding out and you’re joking?"
you open your mouth. close it.
…oh.
oh.
he’s actually scared.
the realization hits you like a punch to the gut. mark—your mark, the guy who laughs while flipping cars, who grins when he’s covered in someone else’s blood—is terrified.
your throat tightens. "hey. hey. look at me." you grab his wrist, squeezing. "i’m not dying over some glove-related incident, okay? that’s embarrassing."
mark shudders, his free hand clenching into a fist so tight you hear his knuckles pop. the veins in his forearm stand out like live wires, that stupid black sleeve of his straining over muscle. "not funny."
"kinda funny," you wheeze, even though your vision's going spotty at the edges. the blood soaking your side is definitely not ideal, but hey—if you pass out now, you'll miss mark's mental breakdown. worth it.
"not. funny." his voice cracks on the last word, raw in a way you've never heard before. not after fights, not after nightmares—never. his other hand's still pressed to your wound, warm and sticky with your blood, trembling like he's the one going into shock.
silence.
then, so quiet you almost miss it: "i can’t lose you too."
your chest aches worse than the gash in your side.
you reach up—ignoring how your arm shakes—and poke the spot between his furrowed brows. "too? wow. you do have friends." you swipe your thumb over the silver eyebrow piercing he definitely doesn't let anyone else touch. "should i be jealous?"
mark huffs, but he doesn’t pull away or swat your hand off like usual. his breath hitches when your fingers trail down to brush his cheek. "asshole."
"yeah," you agree softly, your palm lingering against his jaw. "your asshole."
mark freezes. for one terrifying second, you think you've broken him. then, with a groan that sounds suspiciously wet, he drops his forehead against your shoulder, his mohawk tickling your neck. "i hate you so much." his arms slide around your waist, careful but desperate, like he's trying to put you back together through sheer willpower.
(he holds you the whole way to the medbay.
and when the medics try to pry him off you, he growls like a feral dog.
you don't let go either.)
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2.9k words of mohawk mark chaos for you! thanks for the request—i had way too much fun writing this unhinged gremlin. not entirely sure if i did him justice or did this right, but hey, at least he’s here and causing problems. hope you enjoyed the mess!
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lewisvinga · 1 year ago
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my shot | alex albon x fem! reader x lily muni he
summary; after admitting in an interview about their crush on a certain youtuber, alex and lily decide to shoot their shot through instagram
fc; tara yummy
warnings; ?? none i think
taglist; @namgification @louvrepool @locelscs @thehufflepuffavenger1
notes; requested ! i’m obsessed w tara yummy rn
masterlist !
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liked by lilymhe, alex_albon, and others !
yourusername: let’s go to the beach each
username: the shirt 😭😭😭
username: i just know y/n was struggling in the 5 ft end
yourusername: i was , i suck at swimming 🤕🤕
lilymhe: crazy i know how to swim !
username: lily what are u doing here 😭😭
username: the last picture is so cunty i love it
username: she’s so queen
username: not lily and alex in the likes 😭
alex_albon: let’s go get a wave
yourusername: they say what they gonna say
alex_albon: have a drink, clink, found a bud light
yourusername: bad bitches like me are hard to come by
lilymhe: you are the baddest bitch
username: this comment thread ???😭😭
username: alex albon’s attempt at flirting it just singing nicki minaj
username: he has a gf tho
username: you can’t tell me they both aren’t in love w her…
yourusername uploaded to their story !
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[caption 1; last few days here 😴] [caption 2; tanning bc i can’t swim]
lilymhe replied to your story !
lilymhe so you really can’t swim?
yourusername lol i suck at it, i always use floaties when i’m in the pool & i refuse to go in the ocean😭
lilymhe maybe if we happen to be in the same place , i can teach you😁😁
yourusername you just wanna see me in a bikini don’t you🥴
lilymhe i mean yes. deleted !
lilymhe just helping a girl out and shooting my shot?😁😁
yourusername ur cute
lilymhe and i think ur cuter
yourusername you and….
lilymhe alex and i think you’re cute 😁
yourusername: i’ll be at the miami gp btw, maybe you both can teach me how to swim😌
lilymhe oh, we’re ready, pretty girl
alex_albon replied to your story !
alex_albon heyyyy[100% rizz]
yourusername: oh your girlfriend is much better at this than you are
alex_albon i’m trying 😔
alex_albon but i managed to pull her anyways 🤓
yourusername you’re a dork but it’s cute🤕
alex_albon so me shooting my shot is working?😁😁
yourusername oh 100%
alex_albon a little birdie told me you’re going to the miami gp?
yourusername yeah, might be dressed in ferrari red
alex_albon why not williams blue? you should come to our garage instead 😁
yourusername hmmm u gotta convince me, pretty boy 🧐
alex_albon well, lily and i will be there , isn’t that enough?
yourusername you’re right ,
yourusername i’ll see you in the williams garage then, pretty boy😇
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liked by lilymhe, alex_albon, and others !
yourusername: i like to see cars racing now i guess
tagged; lilymhe, alex_albon, williamsracing
williamsracing: the cuntiest guest in our garage
yourusername: why thank u admin
lilymhe: ugh you’re gorgeous 😩
yourusername: hello?? you’re the most gorgeous 🥴🥴
lilymhe: in my f1 driver era liked by yourusername !
alex_albon: i feel so special knowing i had the 2 prettiest girls ever rooting for me
yourusername: you’re a dork but i’ll cheer for u every race 🤓
username: OMG HELLO😀
username: my fave youtuber and f1?? i’m so??
username: alex lily n y/n are acting very suspicious…….🧐🧐🧐
username: i just wanna know how this all happened
username: imagine lily and alex sliding into her dms 😭😭😭
username: they’re just like me fr
username: i gotta be REAL honest w y’all, they’d look hot asf as a throuple
username: oomf are u insane
username: look at oomf dawg😭😭😭
username: no i get it
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bobosbobonicshitwatershit · 27 days ago
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My attempt at a younger Wilson...🧐
Also I like to headcanon the survivors to be from different time periods. (Mostly because I'm a Victorian era DORKWAD and wanted an excuse to dork-out.) Might change the dates around in the future tho... we'll see....😛
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I have some lore for Wilson's past locked away in my brain case that I'd like to draw out in the future as well... WE'LL SEE...🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓
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millimononym · 26 days ago
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youtube
His voice in NewGen/2nd Impact vs Third Strike is so funny to me. What T does to a man
Wait why did I just realize Alex is like. Not that old at all. Hes an older teenager or early twenties at most. His newgen/2nd impact voice especially sounds like a teen...Not to say I ever thought he was any older than early twenties, but like. What were they feeding this dude??
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the-oblivious-writer · 5 months ago
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Let the Light In |8|
Tara Carpenter x Fem!Reader
Chapter Eight: Old Temptations
Summary: After hiding yourself away for weeks, Anika and Henry get you to return to the living. While you're at the party they bring you to, you run into Tara before a third-party runs into your fists.
Warning(s): Swearing, fighting - whoop whoop!! that's the sound, social interactions, and drinking (underage)
Notes: I made at least ten drafts, combined them, adjusted, and here is the final product. This is more of an R focused chapter, so you'll start to see more of the internal struggles she goes through along with a special guest start. As always, I hope you enjoy
Masterlist|Previous Part|Next Part
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The incandescent lights of Henry's apartment building buzz overhead as you follow him and Anika up the concrete stairs. Your boots echo against each step, creating a hollow rhythm that matches your reluctant heartbeat. You've been dreading this party all week, but your friends had worn you down with their relentless enthusiasm and pointed comments about your "hermit tendencies."
"I still can't believe you actually agreed to come," Henry says over his shoulder, his keys jingling as he searches for the right one. "Usually getting you out after exams is like trying to coax a cat into taking a bath."
"Maybe I'm turning over a new leaf," you mutter, knowing full well it's a lie. The only reason you'd agreed was because they'd caught you in a moment of weakness—specifically, when you were coming down from a three-day study binge and your defenses were too low to properly deflect their persistent pestering.
Anika snorts, adjusting her glittering top that catches the harsh hallway light. "Right. And I'm going to start watching silent films with you."
"Charlie Chaplin’s a classic," you defend, following them into Henry's apartment. The familiar scent of his signature sandalwood candles hits you immediately. 
"Whatever you say, grandma," Henry teases, disappearing into his bedroom. You can hear him rummaging around, probably looking for whatever he plans to wear tonight.
You collapse onto his worn leather couch, the same one he'd rescued from a curb three years ago. Despite its questionable origins, it's the most comfortable piece of furniture you've ever encountered. Maybe if you sink deep enough into it, they'll forget you're here and leave without you.
Anika perches on the arm of the couch, already touching up her makeup in a compact mirror. "You know," she starts, and you recognize that tone—it's the one she uses when she's about to say something she thinks you won't like. "Tara might be there tonight."
Your stomach does an uncomfortable flip. "And why would I care about that?"
"Oh, I don't know," Anika draws out the words, applying another coat of mascara with practiced precision. "Maybe because you've been moping around ever since your little disappearing act?"
"I haven't been moping," you protest, but even you can hear how weak it sounds. "I've been studying. There's a difference."
"Right," she says, sarcasm dripping from her voice.
You open your mouth to argue, then close it again. The past few weeks have been a blur of textbooks, coffee, and a blend of mathematical formulas and historical documentations. You'd thrown yourself into exam preparation with perhaps more vigor than strictly necessary, but that was just your way of dealing with stress. 
It definitely had nothing to do with how you'd ignored her texts afterward.
Dork (3:47 pm - 2 WEEKS AGO) I can't make it tonight
Tara (3:48 pm - 2 WEEKS AGO) oh. lemme knw when u can reschedule 
Dork (3:48 pm - 2 WEEKS AGO) Tara, don't do that
Tara (3:49 pm - 2 WEEKS AGO) dont wat????
Dork (3:49 pm - 2 WEEKS AGO) I know what 'oh' means
Tara (3:50 pm - 2 WEEKS AGO) well then eblighten me cuz idk what ur ymmaring abt
Dork (3:51 pm - 2 WEEKS AGO) *Enlighten/*yammering, and never mind
Tara (3:51 pm - 2 WEEKS AGO) 🤓 is u fr 
Dork (3:52 pm - 2 WEEKS AGO) Excuse me? 
Tara (3: 52 pm - 2 WEEKS AGO) i have to explain??? but i thougt u were all knowing!
Dork (3:53 pm - 2 WEEKS AGO) *Thought. I know you know how to spell, you're just reckless with a keyboard
Tara (3:53 pm - 2 WEEKS AGO) my question is when did i ask
Dork (3:54 pm - 2 WEEKS AGO) That's an improvement
Tara (3:54 pm - 2 WEEKS AGO) stfup.
Henry emerges from his bedroom, now wearing a fitted crop-top that every guy wore in the 80’s. "Are we talking about the Tara situation?"
"There is no 'Tara situation,'" you insist, making air quotes with your fingers. "Can we please just go to this party so I can suffer through it and get back to my peaceful, drama-free existence?"
"Drama-free?" Henry laughs, grabbing his keys. "Is that what we're calling your one-person production of 'Hamlet' these last eighteen years?"
You bite your thumb at him, but there's no real heat behind it. These are your best friends, after all, and you know their teasing comes from a place of love. Even if they're being particularly annoying about it tonight.
The drive to the party is a blur of street lights and the sound of Abbey Road. You're behind the wheel of your beloved '70 Ford Maverick, a car that Henry constantly ridicules. Anika claims the passenger seat, still fussing with her makeup, while Henry sprawls in the back, giving you directions that are more confusing than helpful.
"No, no, turn left at the next—wait, I meant right. My other left."
"Your other left?" you deadpan, making the turn anyway. "How many lefts do you have?"
"Don't sass the navigator," he replies primly. "Oh, there it is! The house with all the cars out front."
You pull up to the curb about half a block away, already feeling your anxiety spike at the sight of the crowded frat house. Music pulses from within, so loud you can feel it in your chest even from here. People mill about on the front lawn, red cups in hand, their laughter carrying through the night air.
"Remind me again why I agreed to this?" you ask, killing the engine but making no move to get out of the car.
Anika turns to you, her expression softening slightly. "Because Henry threatened to sing the entire soundtrack of 'Cats' outside your bedroom door if you didn't come."
"That was a low blow," you mutter, finally unbuckling your seatbelt. "You know how much I hate that musical."
"Desperate times," Henry says cheerfully, already out of the car and bouncing on his heels with excitement. "Come on, let's go find out what kinds of terrible decisions we can make tonight!"
You follow your friends up the walkway, trying to ignore the way your palms are already sweating. The last party you'd attended had been... well, it had been a week before your self-imposed exile. The night Tara had looked at you with those impossibly dark eyes and asked if you wanted to get some air, and you'd panicked and made up an excuse about needing to check on your nonexistent fish.
The front door is already open, music and voices spilling out into the night. As soon as you cross the threshold, you're hit with a wall of sensory input that makes your head spin. The air is thick with artificial fog from a machine hidden somewhere in the corner, mixed with the distinctive scent of cheap beer and various perfumes and colognes. Multi-colored lights pulse in time with the music, turning everything into a strobing dreamscape and your nightmare.
Henry guides you through the crowd with a gentle hand on your back, navigating the sea of bodies with practiced ease. You catch glimpses of familiar faces as you pass. They all blur together in the dim light, becoming a kaleidoscope of features that makes your head swim.
You end up at yet another worn leather couch that's seen better days, probably around the same era as your car. Henry gestures for you to sit, and you do, grateful for something solid beneath you. The cushions seem to want to swallow you whole, and for once, you don't fight it.
"I'll get us drinks!" Henry shouts over the music, already backing away into the crowd. "Don't move!"
Anika lingers for a moment, looking torn between staying with you and pursuing whatever—or whoever—has caught her attention across the room. You wave her off with a weak smile. "Go. I'll be fine right here, becoming one with the furniture."
She hesitates another second before grinning. "Try to have some fun, okay? And text me if you need an escape plan." Then she's gone, disappearing into the crowd with the grace of Mindy, someone who actually enjoys these sorts of gatherings.
Left alone, you let yourself sink deeper into the couch, watching the party unfold around you. A group of girls near the makeshift dance floor are attempting some sort of choreographed routine, though the alcohol in their systems is making it more comedic than coordinated. Two guys are engaged in what appears to be an intense debate about pizza toppings, their gestures becoming more animated with each passing second.
The bass line of whatever song is playing thrums through your body, making your bones vibrate in a way that's not entirely unpleasant. You find yourself timing your breathing to it, using it as an anchor in the chaos. This isn't so bad, you think. You can handle this. It's just a few hours, and then you can go home and binge-watch your comfort shows until the sun comes up.
"Y/L/N special!" Henry's voice breaks through your thoughts as he returns, thrusting a red solo cup into your hands. The liquid inside is an alarming shade of orange that definitely doesn't occur in nature.
You eye it suspiciously. "What exactly makes it a ‘Y/L/N special'?"
"The fact that it's specifically designed for the same people who despise candy unless it's 99% cacao," he explains, dropping onto the couch beside you with his own drink—something amber-colored that you assume is actually beer.
"That's... oddly thoughtful," you admit, taking a tentative sip. It tastes like water that’s had lemons and limes soak in it for months, the kick makes your tongue tingle. "And dangerous."
"Just pace yourself," he advises, watching as more people filter into the already crowded space. "Oh hey, isn't that Charlotte?"
You follow his gaze to see Charlotte, the person you ended things with through a text message. You try to hide behind the red plastic in your hand as you sip, but you nearly spill your bitter bread water all over yourself when she notices you. You can tell it caught her off guard; her eyes slightly widened and she took an uncomfortably long pause mid-sentence. This pause caused her friends to look over which only made things even more awkward—at least for you. After shooting daggers at you and one of them flipping you off, they linked elbows with Charlotte and took her to a different room.
You know you deserved it.
Henry sucked his teeth. “Ouch. Casanova strikes again,” he chuckled with amusement.
“Ugh,” you express in response to the name for you before downing the last of the liquid in your cup. “I’m out. I’m gonna get one more.”
One drink turns into two, two turns into three, and somewhere during your debate with Henry over which Ninja Turtle’s the best one, you’re interrupted by a pair of familiar dark brown eyes meeting yours. Your attention always seemed to gravitate towards Tara Carpenter. 
You momentarily pause your expression of admiration for Leonardo, peeking over Henry’s shoulder to give Tara a downwards smile paired with a finger wave. She rolls her eyes and returns your finger wave in a mocking gesture. After Henry realizes what’s grabbed your attention, he makes an excuse to walk away.
You're nursing your fifth orange drink when she materializes beside you, seemingly out of thin air. "Seriously?" The word drips with exasperation. "You're actually hiding behind Henry?"
"I'm not hiding," you protest, pulling yourself up to what you hope is a dignified height. "I'm strategically positioning myself for optimal social avoidance."
Tara snorts—an inelegant sound that somehow makes her more endearing. "Is that what we're calling it?" 
The space between you crackles with a tension that's part irritation, part something else entirely. 
"I could ask you the same thing," you counter with a crack in your voice. Tara notices this and slightly raises an eyebrow while giving you a once-over. "Pretty sure you've been standing in the exact same spot for the last twenty minutes."
Her eyes narrow. "I'm observing."
"Stalking," you correct automatically.
"Strategically positioning myself," she throws your earlier words back at you, and there's a glint in her eye that makes your breath catch.
For a moment, you felt uncharacteristically at ease in such a setting—when you catch a fragment of a conversation that makes your blood run cold. 
“—Carpenter's got a mouth on her that could—"
The words slice through your alcohol-induced haze like a knife. Your head whips around so fast you almost give yourself whiplash, searching for the source of the comment. Two guys are leaning against the wall near the stairs, one of them making crude gestures as he continues to make vile comments about Tara.
The pleasant warmth in your system transforms instantly into liquid fire. You recognize one of them—Marcus Wheeler from your Calculus class, the one who always makes inappropriate comments during lectures and thinks he's God's gift to mathematics. The other is unfamiliar, but the way he's laughing and encouraging Marcus makes your skin crawl.
Your muscles tense. Tara notices immediately. "Don't," she warns, a single word packed with more meaning than should be possible.
But you're already moving, your body acting before your brain can fully process the decision. 
Your fist connects with his jaw before you even realize you've thrown the punch. There's a satisfying crack that you feel more than hear, followed by a burst of pain across your knuckles that you're too angry to properly register. The pain sends a rush through you, pushes you, tempts you for more. 
Marcus staggers back, both surprised and hurt, but recovers quickly. He lunges for you, but your muscle memory kicks in. You sidestep, using his momentum against him, and somehow you end up on top of him, getting in another solid hit before strong hands pull you away.
The world comes rushing back all at once. The music has stopped, replaced by the murmur of shocked voices and the ringing in your ears. Everyone is staring at you, their faces a blur of surprise and judgment. Marcus is on the ground, blood trickling from his split lip, and presumably broken nose, looking at you with a mixture of rage, disbelief, and fear.
Your chest feels too tight, like someone's wrapped steel bands around your ribcage and is slowly tightening them. The weight of what you've just done crashes over you like a wave, threatening to pull you under. You need to get out—now.
You shoulder your way through the crowd, ignoring Henry calling your name, ignoring the whispers that follow in your wake. Someone tries to grab your arm, but you shake them off, focused solely on reaching the door. The cool night air hits your face like a slap when you finally burst outside, but you keep walking, your hands shaking as the adrenaline starts to wear off.
The crisp winter air hits you like a slap when you stumble outside, your breath forming small clouds in the freezing night.
“Wait!”
When did she get here?
"Let me see," Tara's voice cuts through your alcohol-induced haze, her hand reaching for yours with a familiarity that makes your head spin—or maybe you've had one too many of those orange drinks.
You thrust your hand toward her dramatically, wincing as the movement sends a spike of pain through your bruised knuckles.
"I totally got that incel good," you slur, a giggle bubbling up from somewhere deep and slightly unhinged. The ice beneath your feet seems to shimmer with your triumph.
Tara's fingers hover just above your hand, not quite touching but close enough that you can feel the heat radiating from her skin. "You're going to need ice for that," she says, her tone caught between exasperation and something else—something softer.
"Ice, huh?" You look down at the ground, the irony not lost on you. 
With exaggerated precision, you bend down and scoop up a handful of snow, pressing it against your knuckles. The cold bites, but it's a welcome contrast to the burning anger and alcohol still coursing through your system.
"This works, right?" You look up at her, your eyes wide and slightly unfocused. The world tilts slightly, but Tara remains steady—an anchor in your spinning vision.
Something flickers in her eyes—amusement, maybe. "You're something else," she mutters, but there's no real bite to the words.
Emboldened by alcohol and adrenaline, you lean in closer. The words tumble out before you can stop them. "So… I never did get an answer to that proposal."
Tara goes very still. A smile begins to form, tentative and fragile as first light. 
She chuckles at your remark before shaking her head and scoffing to herself. "Sometimes I just don't get you," she says with a smile still etched on her face, but there's more complexity in those words than simple dismissal as she stares back into your eyes.
Confusion must show on your face because she looks away, the streetlight catching the curve of her cheek, the set of her jaw. You didn’t know what else to say so you just said the first thing that came to mind. 
“Merry birthday, Tar,” you said. 
She’s taken aback by this. She didn’t know what to say, yet still opened her mouth to respond. Maybe something would come to her, but before anything did—
"There you are!" Anika's voice cuts through the moment like a knife. Your car pulls up to the curb, engine running warm against the freezing air. "We need to get out of here before that guy calls the cops."
The moment dissolves. Tara takes a step back, creating distance that feels more emotional than physical. You're left standing there, snow melting between your fingers, the taste of unresolved everything burning at the back of your throat.
As you climb into the passenger seat, you catch one last glimpse of her in the side mirror—a silhouette, perfectly still and impossibly distant.
The drive home is mostly silent, broken only by the occasional sigh from Anika and the gentle humming of your car's engine. Your knuckles throb in time with your heartbeat, a steady reminder of your momentary loss of control. The adrenaline is wearing off now, replaced by a mixture of embarrassment and alcohol-induced wooziness that makes you slouch lower in your seat.
"You know," Anika finally says as she pulls into your shared apartment complex, "when I said you needed to be more social, starting another fight wasn't exactly what I had in mind."
You grunt in response, too busy focusing on the way the world is tilting slightly to form actual words. The drinks are hitting harder now that the excitement is over, making everything feel soft around the edges.
"Use your words," she chides, killing the engine. 
"Words are for people who don't punch assholes at parties," you mumble, fumbling with your seatbelt. The simple mechanism seems impossibly complex right now.
Anika reaches over to help you, her movements gentle despite her exasperated tone. "Come on, Rocky Balboa. Let's get you inside."
Getting up the stairs to your second-floor apartment proves to be an adventure. You insist you can do it yourself, but after the third time you miss a step, Anika wraps an arm around your waist and practically drags you up.
"I can walk," you protest, even as you lean heavily against her.
"Sure you can. Just like you can make rational decisions at parties, right?" 
You attempt to glare at her, but the effect is somewhat ruined when you stumble over your own feet. "He deserved it."
"Oh, I'm not arguing that point," Anika says, fishing her keys out of her purse while still supporting most of your weight. "Marcus Wheeler is definitely in the running for Biggest Douchebag of the Year. But maybe next time we could handle it without violence? You know, like adults?"
"Adulting is overrated," you declare as she manages to get the door open. "If I was a kid, I could just pull Tara's pigtails or something."
Anika steers you toward the kitchen, depositing you none too gently into one of the mismatched chairs around your small table. "Okay, first of all, that's not the approach to crushing on someone that you think it is. Second, stay put while I get the first aid kit."
You slump forward, resting your forehead against the cool surface of the table. "Not crushing," you mumble into the wood. "Just... emotionally compromised."
"Right," Anika calls from the bathroom, where you can hear her rummaging through cabinets. "And I'm just 'casually interested' in my hot girlfriend."
"That's different," you argue, lifting your head slightly. "You two are together. You’re attached to the hip—you don’t hide from each other."
"Ha! So you admit you were hiding!"
You let your head thunk back down onto the table. "I admit nothing. I was studying. Very intensely. In locations where certain people were statistically unlikely to appear."
Anika returns with the first aid kit and a bag of frozen peas, setting both on the table. "Sit up, you disaster. Let me see your hand."
You comply with a dramatic sigh, straightening in your chair and holding out your injured hand. Your knuckles are already starting to bruise, spots of purple blooming across the skin. There are a few small cuts, probably from where you caught Marcus's teeth.
"This might sting," Anika warns before dabbing at the cuts with an alcohol wipe. You hiss through your teeth but don't pull away. "So," she continues, her tone deceptively casual, "want to talk about what really happened back there?"
"Not particularly," you mutter, watching as she carefully cleans each cut. "Can we just chalk it up to temporary insanity and move on?"
"You punched a guy for talking shit about Tara." She applies antibiotic ointment with practiced efficiency. "That's not temporary insanity. That's feelings."
You try to pull your hand away, but she holds firm. "It's not— I just— He was being gross!"
"Mhmm." She wraps your knuckles in gauze with precise movements. "And the fact that it was about Tara specifically had nothing to do with your reaction?"
"I would have done the same for anyone," you insist, even though you both know it's a lie. "It's about basic human decency."
"Right. Basic human decency. That's why you've been moping around our apartment for two weeks, taking different routes, and muttering under your breath when you think I can't hear you."
Before you can form a suitably indignant response, your phone buzzes. Henry's face appears on the screen, caught mid-laugh at some long-ago hangout.
You put the call on speaker, feeling too exhausted to hold the phone. Henry's excited voice crackles through, bursting with energy.
"Holy shit! Are you okay? That was the most badass thing I've ever seen in my life!"
"I'm fine," you mutter, wincing as Anika presses a bag of frozen peas against your bruised knuckles. "Ow! Except for my so-called best friend trying to give me frostbite."
Anika's tone is no-nonsense. "Keep the ice on, or your hand will swell up like a balloon."
Henry can barely contain his excitement. "You should have seen Marcus's face after you left. He was completely shaken. I don't think anyone's ever stood up to him like that before."
You groan, tilting your head back. "Great. Now I'll be known as the crazy chick who starts fights at parties. That'll look amazing on my resume."
"Are you kidding? You're going to be a legend!" Henry starts, then suddenly there's a scuffle in the background.
"Am I on speaker?" you ask, suspicion rising in your voice.
"No!" Henry says simultaneously with another voice declaring, "Yes!"
You recognize the second voice immediately. "Henry James Martinez," you say, using his full name—knowing how much he hates it—"Are you and Tony back together?"
"No!" Henry protests. "His place flooded, and he needed a place to stay!"
"Sure thing, Hef," you chuckle, catching Anika's amused smile.
Tony's cheerful voice joins the conversation. "Hey, heard you knocked some douche on his ass for talking shit about your girlfriend. Nicely done."
"She's not my girlfriend," you respond quickly.
Henry can't resist. "Define girlfriend."
You're ready with a comeback. "Define sharing a living space with—"
"Uh oh, bad connection," Henry interrupts, and suddenly the line goes dead. Anika bursts into laughter.
“I’m gonna get you some aspirin,” Anika offered, patting your shoulder as she passed. “But just so you know that whole ‘emotionally compromised’ thing? Yeah, that’s basically the definition of crushing.”
You make an incoherent noise of protest into the table. 
"Oh, and by the way," Anika calls from the kitchen, "you're totally teaching me that right hook tomorrow. After your hangover wears off, of course."
You lift your head just enough to deadpan at her. 
"Love you too, champ. Now take your aspirin and go to bed before you fall asleep on the table. Again."
Not long after she went to her room, you stumble into the bathroom, hand throbbing and head spinning—the former a reminder of the night’s events. The light is harsh against your alcohol-fogged brain. The tile floor is cold beneath your bare feet as you stumble to the sink, turning on the water and splashing your face.
When you look up, he's there.
Your Uncle's bloody corpse stands behind you in the reflection, that familiar crooked smile that's always been more predatory than comforting. His appearance is exactly as you remember from old photographs—that slightly manic glint in his eye, the way he holds himself like violence is always just beneath the surface.
"Killer punch," he says, leaning against the bathroom wall. No greeting, no preamble. Just direct observation.
You don't jump but roll your eyes. "Go away," you mutter, gripping the sink's edge.
He chuckles—a sound that's more bark than laugh. "I saw myself in you tonight. That rage? That precise moment of calculated violence? Pure genetics that chose you."
"I'm nothing like you," you snap, turning to face him directly. The bathroom suddenly feels smaller.
He takes a step closer. "Oh, but you are. That moment when you heard those guys talking about your girl? That split second before the punch? That wasn't just anger. That was hunting instinct."
You close your eyes, trying to block him out. "I'm not a killer. I'm not you."
"Not yet," he says, and there's something almost proud in his voice. "But you've got the potential. I saw how you moved. How you calculated. How you knew exactly where to hit to cause maximum impact."
"My dad’s a professional pig," you counter. "It’s not like I attended murder school."
His laugh is sharp, brittle. "Call it what you want. But we both know there's something inside you. Something sharp. Something waiting."
The argument feels familiar—like every nightmare, every family gathering where his memory haunted the edges of conversation, their fear of the parallels you both held. You're tired of it. Tired of him.
"I'm going to bed," you declare, pushing past his spectral form.
He doesn't disappear immediately. Instead, his voice follows you. "We're not so different, you and me."
You pause at the doorway, not turning around, as your hand tightly grips the edges of the doorframe. "We're nothing alike." 
The silence that follows is answer enough.
As you crawl back into bed, the room feels normal again—just another night, just another internal argument with a ghost who refuses to stay buried.
But somewhere in the darkness, you can still feel him watching. Waiting.
-----------
A/N:
gobble, gobble
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