#dorian x vanari

[bellamer]

At The Winter Palace:

Vanarí, carrying some silk scarves he stole from the nobles there, pushing past several nobles: MOVE, BITCH !

Cullen: What is he doing ?

Cole, appearing out of nowhere: Dorian offered to show him the 'dance of the ten scarves' if he could get him ten silk scarves.

Cullen: The....dance of the ten scarves ?

Varric: It's a strip dance, where the dancer is dressed up in ten scarves and as the dance continues, the scarves get less and less until the dancer is completely nude. Usually it's done with seven scarves but I guess they use ten in tevinter, it increases the tease and length.

Cole: And Dorian offered to do it on the ballroom floor. In front of everyone here.

Vanarí: DORIAN, DARLING, I HAVE THE SCARVES ! I'M ACTUALLY GONNA ENJOY MYSELF TONIGHT OR DIE TRYING !

Cullen, running after him: OH MAKER- JOSEPHINE WE HAVE TO STOP THEM !

[bellamer]

Vanarí: Dorian, I am going to ask you to do something for me.

Dorian: Anything, Amatus.

Vanarí: For starters, I am going to drink three kegs of booze, I might drink a fourth one if I'm not passed out from the third.

Dorian, concerned: O...Kay ?

Vanarí: Then I want you to guide me outside of skyhold.

Dorian: I...I don't like where this is going.

Vanarí: I also want you to bring Bull with you, tell him to sharpen his axe.

Dorian: Amatus, what is the point of this ?

Vanarí: I want you to tell Bull to cut my hand off while I'm passed out drunk and threaten him if he chickens out, then tell him to take the hand and give it to the Inquisition as my letter of resignation.

Dorian: NO !

Vanarí: You just said that you'd do anything for me !

Dorian: Anything but watch my lover be mutilated !

Vanarí: They cant keep me here if I don't have this stupid mark ! I asked Cole to do it but he said no and Blackwall said no ! Surprisingly, even Sera said no !

Dorian: Because you're bloody insane !

[bellamer]

Dorian: Are you alright ?

Vanarí:.....What was I saying ?

Dorian: You weren't saying anything, you were just staring blankly for the past 40 minutes, are you sick ?

Vanarí: No, I just haven't been sleeping well.

Dorian: How long have you haven't been sleeping ?

Vanarí: Let's see, I was taken prisoner in haven, found out I have this stupid thing in my hand, was forced into working for the Inquisition, was forced into becoming Inquisitor, I've been traveling all over saving people and trying not to die, we move to skyhold and now all these people are around me constantly at all times.... So I haven't slept since the day before the conclave. I was actually on my way to sneak a nap when I heard Divine Justinia scream for help.

Dorian: You haven't slept in over a month ?!?

Vanarí: It's mostly because I can't sleep in Skyhold, with all of these people around. I'm used to sleeping in cabins in the woods, in silence. My room may be cut off, but I feel like I can still hear everyone moving around.

Dorian: Why didn't you tell me ?!?

Vanarí: Because I came up with a solution.

Dorian: And what's that solution ?

Vanarí: I am going to have Cole sneak behind me randomly and chloroform me so I'll at least get 30 minutes of sleep !

Dorian: Alright, let's think of a less crazy, sleep deprived solution, starting with a cup of chamomile tea and a nice shoulder massage.

[bellamer]

Dorian: Amatus I am BEGGING you to please stop doing that !

Vanarí, after scaling a huge ass mountain: Stop what ?!?

Dorian: Stop climbing these steep mountains and just jumping off like a lunatic ! You're going to hurt or kill yourself ! There's paths right here !

Vanarí: But scaling and jumping is way faster than walking !

Dorian: IT'S THE SAME AMOUNT OF TIME, MAYBE EVEN LONGER ! YOU'RE GOING TO GIVE ME A HEART ATTACK IF YOU KEEP CLIMBING AND JUMPING OFF THE MOUNTAINS ! YOU MAY HAVE HORNS BUT YOU'RE NOT A DAMN BILLY GOAT !

[bellamer]

Dorian: Can we get away from the water ? I'm feeling seasick already...

Vanarí: I told you we were going to the storm coast. I told you to stay behind. But what did you say ?

Dorian:.....

Vanarí, mocking his voice: 'Oh Amatus, honestly, I can handle myself, I don't need you fussing over me !'

Dorian: .......

Vanarí: And now what will I have to do ?

Dorian: First of all, I don't sound like that.

Vanarí: Now I'll have to fuss over you anyways, because you didn't want to listen.

Dorian:.... Will you make me tea when we get back to camp ?

Vanarí:....Yeah.

[bellamer]

Dorian: We've been out here for HOURS looking for these stupid shards ! Can't we go back to camp and rest ?

Vanarí: It would be so much easier if you just let me throw you up to the high up places to grab them !

Dorian: Are you mad !? I'm not some toy you can just throw at things ! How would I even get down ?!

Vanarí: You could jump down ! I'd catch you !

Dorian: Absolutely not !

Vanarí: So you don't trust me ?!

Dorian: Amatus....I love you... but knowing you, you'd either miss, drop me, or catch me the wrong way and I'd get impaled on your horns ! So no, I don't trust you !

[bellamer]

VANARÍ GOT TO "AMATUS" STATUS I CAN'T BREATHE