#doomed by fate to stay silly

[frenchfry99]

Boo! 👻🦇🎃

Wishing you the most spooktacular Halloween!!

Some doodles below

My kiddos!! the sibling trio all together :) I have yet to introduce two of them but I ensure you they're all quite silly!!( it's even their last name smhh)

Anyways-

Pumpkins..

This year Lilly wanted to be a creepy pumpkin >:]

while Sunny and Billy - vampires. Turns out their costumes matched Frank's :D

(as a tailor Sunny definitely was the one who made costumes for their siblings and most likely helped other neighbors with theirs!^^)

Tailor and theater kid they're besties your honor

Lilly lore? On Halloween? More likely than you think

"Found a funny clown lady by the forest but everybody else seems to not notice her or runs away in fear! How odd!"

Lilly, are you sure they were scared of you?

[captainamericasmotercycle]

Hiiii. I hope you are well. I would like to request a Cregan Stark x reader where they’re newlyweds and Cregan is doing everything he can to get reader to like him as she barely talks to him and keeps to herself because her mother basically told her to not expect him to be a kind gentle husband like the ones she’s read in books. The two slowly grow close once reader sees the effort Cregan has been putting in. Thank you!

i've never written for cregan before so i hope i did him justice <3

warnings: uncomfortable talk of women? (from your mother and sisters), you are his first wife (rickon doesn't exist yet), canon divergent, reader's family is not specified

a/n: this could possibly have a second part... all feedback is welcomed!!

When the news broke that Lord Cregan Stark was looking to take a new wife, your father was not hesitant to offer up your hand.

Your family resided close to the North, and your father needed Lord Stark as an ally in case any conflict arose suddenly. Within only a single moon, Lord Stark agreed to take you to wed.

It was not in your plans to be forced into a marriage, but rather find someone to love and live a long and prosperous life with.

"You know he is not going to be kind, not like the silly tales you read of," your mother, of course, prepared you for your impending doom of a marriage, as she implied.

You wanted to die. If only you were not a high-born lady, you could choose your fate.

"You cannot expect him to tend to you every moment of the day, at all even," you remember your older sisters joining the two of you, helping you to know what will become of you.

"He will take you as he wishes, and you will comply."

"You will lay with him until he finds pleasure and discards of you."

"But.. will I find pleasure?"

They laughed at you, both of your sisters and your mother. You did not wish to be trapped in a loveless marriage.

"No, if anything, he will find some cheap whore to busy himself with, until it is time for you to give him heirs."

"You mustn't talk to him unless spoken to first-"

"And you mustn't speak your mind, ever."

They filled your head with their advice until the day of your wedding. It was a small gathering just within the walls of Winterfell. Your family attended, as well as Cregan's uncle, a couple members of his council, and his half siblings.

During the post-ceremony celebration, you stayed timid, smiling gently whenever Cregan looked at you, or when your mother sent a pointed expressed to you.

You watched your brother, brothers-in-law, and father, eager to drink, but Cregan refrained.

Cregan tried to hold your hand, or lay his hand over your knee, succeeding in doing so, but you shied away from his touch, your body freezing up.

At the end of the night, the celebration winded down and you retreated to your new chambers, apart from Cregan's. You knew that he would be in to consummate the marriage soon, so you prepared yourself, trying to find a place in your head you could go to escape.

As your maidens dressed you for the night, a soft knock was heard on the door, one of your maids scurried to see who would come at such a late hour.

"My Lady Stark, it is your lord husband."

Lady Stark. Quite the title.

"Let him in, and leave us."

She and the other maids left the newlyweds as requested. He stood at the door, quite the ways away from you.

"Did you enjoy the celebration?"

"Yes, my lord."

"Please, call me Cregan, I am your husband now."

"Yes, my- Cregan," he moved slightly towards you.

"Have I done something to offend you?"

"No, my lord."

"Cregan. And are you sure?"

"Yes, Cregan. I apologize, husband if I have not been attentive enough. I can be better, I promise. I can be a good wife," you begged him.

He said your name softly, seeing the utter fear in your eyes, "You have been perfect; there is no need for you to upset yourself."

"Have you come to consumate the marriage?"

"I figured you were too tired. Do you want to?"

You were taken aback by his question, you hadn't expected him to ask about you.

"I- I think I would prefer to rest," you bowed your head at him.

"As you wish, wife. I will see you in the morn," he walked to you and gently kissed the top of your head, then retreated to his own quarters.

-

The morn came and you were still not talking to him. Maybe you were just nervous to be away from your home is all and you just wanted some time to adjust to your new life.

Weeks passed and he tried to talk to you, but you only answered him with short responses. This worried him, what had he done to hurt you?

He decided to send you a new pelt, incase you wished to explore the gardens or the outside walls of Winterfell. He hoped to hear from you about the gift, but no word came back except for a thank you from your maid.

He did not understand why you would not talk to him. He began sending flowers almost every morn with your meal, he gifted you a horse, (which you had not even attempted to see since the first time he showed you), and he even went as far as obtaining you a direwolf pup as a wedding gift. The pup became as reclused as you.

He became frustrated with his failed attempts to connect with you, sulking around Winterfell, and it was very apparent in his commands.

He hadn't taken a trip to the wall in weeks, and he commanded his men to finish outrageous requests; lashing out at anyone who questioned him or seemed to breathe the wrong way.

You had not been eager to seek him out or talk to him, not even trying to leave the walls of Winterfell to explore the nearing city; just staying in the comfort of the castle's library and your chambers.

He wanted to see you, to build a bond with his new wife, but most of the time he was unable to find you; it seemed that you were hiding from him.

After almost a moon of short interactions and dodging his every move, he was ready to beg, luckily he finally cornered you in your chambers.

Instead of a maid coming to fetch you for supper, Cregan insisted that he go instead. He pushed open your doors, finding you sitting with a book near the window, your much larger direwolf pup at your feet

Your head shot up at the sudden noise, louder than you were used to at this hour. You set down your book, ready to stand at his presence, but he stalked over to you rather quickly.

He dropped to his knees at your feet, startling you, he stated your name, "Please tell me what I have done, I wish to see you, to speak to you."

"You have done nothing, husband. I will speak if you wish it."

"No! I want you to speak freely, what has made you shy away from me? I am trying to know you, to love you. Please, just tell me!"

Your gaze softened, "You want to love me?"

His face changed to confusion, "Of course. Have I dont something to make you assume otherwise?"

"Not you..."

"Who. Tell me. I will have their tongues."

"My mother... and my sisters. They spoke that you would not be kind, that I should not speak freely near you... that you would be too busy with cheap whores to notice me until you wanted an heir."

He set his large hands on your knees, "Every word of that is so untrue. I married you because I want to love you. Let me."

You looked at his eyes, yearning in them, "I want you to love me."

He pulled you to stand with him. He tugged you by the waist into him, peppering you with kisses, one near your eyebrow, one on your cheek, one on the tip of your nose, and finally one at the corner of your mouth. You smiled at him and his actions.

"There's that smile I so desperately have been wanting to see for over a moon."

You set your hands on either side of his face, kissing his lips softly, "I'm sorry that I have been so distant, I should have seen your efforts."

"I hold no grudge against you wife, I am just happy you are giving me another chance," he kissed you again.

"Shall we go to supper?" You nodded as he took your hand.

"Good. I think my men will be pleased to hear of our reconcile. I fear I have been more than unpleasant," you kissed his jaw.

"Well, we owe them an apology don't we?"

[bluskaiwriting]

top of the food chain | sergei "kraven" kravinoff

➤ pairing: AFAB reader x Sergei Kravinoff / Kraven

➤ warnings: Smut, predator/prey power play, mild kink if you squint (a little rusty so i'm just easing back into it)

➤ notes: it has been so long since i've felt the proper urge to write smut for a character and of course it has to be kraven *chef's kiss*

➤ more: masterlist | smut reblog blog 

She thinks it must be fate, the way she practically fell into his trap. Their destinies tangled like a spider's web before they even breathed their first breaths. He was made for her as she was made for him.

She'd been barely old enough to be out there in those woods alone. Old enough that the judge declared she was no longer a ward of anyone. She was finally free.

Hopping on the first train out of there, she ended up somewhere in the mountains. After years of suffocating under someone else's thumb. Fresh air and green grass, that was all she wanted.

The mountains seemed perfectly idyllic and visions of her spending her days here flashed in perfect sequences before her.

Until she realised that she was woefully unprepared for the rough terrain and most definitely did not think her dumb little plan through.

Night fell quicker than she realised, leaving her shivering and struggling to find food. By some miracle, she had gotten the fire going before darkness fell but now the gurgle of her stomach was starting to echo.

Foraging was her plan, though she only knew brief notes of medicinal roots and herbs. Sustenance was slightly different. She'd trudged as far as the firelight touched to avoid losing her way.

Losing the spirit and gusto that so quickly drove her out here, dread and dispair began to take their place. A feeling rose up in her, souring her nose and wetting her eyes.

She was a fool, a silly little girl who honestly believed she could do something for once in her life.

About to lose all hope, something glinted in the moonlight in the corner of her eye, something that looked hopefully like a berry. Instinctively, she turned and stepped towards the glint.

Suddenly she was 10 feet in the air, trapped in a net of some sort and still frozen from shock. She was now caught in a trap.

A stupid, stupid trap that she was doomed to stay in until the hunter who set it up remembered to check on it or until she died of starvation.

Fortunately, luck seemed to be on her side tonight. A man emerged from the shadows, steps feather-light against the ground in practised movements. Shoulder-length dark hair that curled against his cheekbones, glowing yellow eyes that pierced through her soul, and the build of a hunter for sure.

The small glimmer of hope she'd felt at the sight of another soul, was quickly eclipsed by something much darker, and far more primal. For some odd reason, her gut told her that she was prey and she needed to run.

She was always very good at ignoring her instincts.

Her eyes scanned slowly, taking him in. Strong thick thighs, long arms lined with veins, and plump lips. She imagined what it would feel like to be caught in those arms, to sit upon those thighs and feel him tense beneath her.

He raised his eyebrow as he clearly caught her eyeing him, and his tongue darted out to wet his lips. His eyes were now scanning her too in reciprocation.

Her breath hitched at the sight, and her chest rose and fell in rapid motion. She was a prey caught in a predator's trap.

Though not an entirely unwilling prey.

He approached slowly, eyes never leaving her's.

"Who are you?"

She was surprised to hear an American accent lilting in his voice, betraying his almost native grasp of Russian.

"Cut me down."

Her voice was clear and crisp, she hoped, betraying none of her nerves and trepidation.

His eyebrows raised once again before he stepped forward and lowered the trap to the ground.

It was almost unfair, how easily she followed him when he beckoned to her. The pathetically desperate way she almost tripped over herself to run after him, when he sped up.

It's just because she was afraid of being out there alone, purely for safety reasons. At least, that's what she told herself to ease the sting on her ego.

And how she really found herself beneath him, panting and wanting? Well, she was cold and he was a human heater of course.

"Faster, please." She whimpered pathetically, whining with every thrust he delivered.

His hips pistoned in and out of her poor puffy pussy, wetness dribbling out of her with every push.

"Is all this just for me?" He asked, voice lilting with arrogance.

He pulled back and spread her thighs wide, taking in the sight before him. Pink lips glistened with the evidence of what they'd just been doing, her mind absolutely blank of anything.

Dipping his head, he breathed in deeply, a growl emanating from his chest.

Fuck.

Licking a long stripe along her slit, he pressed deep into her cunt, fucking into her with his tongue. He wasn't just tasting her, he was devouring her.

As he laved on her clit, his fingers hooked into her. Noises of uh, uh, uh, left her breathless.

She could feel it building, cresting higher and higher. She was so close if she could just get him a little deeper.

As his fingers explored her, he found a spot that had her making a noise. A noise so vulgar, her flushed cheeks grew hotter.

Smirking, he ground his palm into her swollen clit and drove his fingers into that spongey spot repeatedly.

She let out a wail so loud, she was certain all the animals heard. Her vision spotting white and a continuous ringing in her ears.

"Jesus Christ."

He huffed a laugh as he sat back up, releasing her thighs from his grip.

"Turn over." He smacked her ass, still kneeling before her looking more like a beast than a man as his eyes seemed to glow.

Trembling from the aftershocks of her orgasm, she propped herself onto her knees and lowered her arms to the bed. In this position, she almost felt like she was presenting herself to him, spread open for his taking.

She felt more than she heard him spit onto her, warm and wet. She clenched around nothing at the feeling.

Prodding at her entrance, he pushed into her warmth slowly, letting out a groan at the feeling of her walls squeezing him.

Her breath hitched at the fullness of it all and she swore she could feel him in her throat.

He pulled out so slowly, that she felt shivers run down her spine. He pushed back in harder, driving her up the bed.

A gasp left her as he sped up, pounding into her like his life depended on it. Kissing her cervix with every push in, it should have hurt, but all she felt was ecstasy.

As the stars rushed beneath her eyelids, she could feel that she was close again, but she needed a little bit more.

It seemed her beast-man could sense it too, and he brought his fingers down to draw tight circles around her clit.

Breathy high-pitched moans echoed in the dome, as she met her peak.

"Oh god, fuck. Yes, fuck."

She wasn't making sense anymore if she ever was. She clenched down on him, seizing up as waves of pleasure rolled over her.

In the vice grip of her cunt, he followed her over the cliff, grunting into her ear.

Lips pressed to the side of her head, he breathed into her hair as he came down from his orgasm.

As if the fog cleared, they looked at each other in a different light.

A softer light it seemed.

"I'm Sergei."

[onlyswan]

summary: in which jungkook misses you before he even leaves.

idol!jungkook x reader / angst, fluff / word count: 3.7k

content/warnings: they both cry, they’re so in love and anxious of being apart 🥲 pls somebody give my babies a box of tissue damn it!!! / making out :") might be one of my favs i’ve written heh cherry koo ily

> in which masterlist!

note: hi hiii this serves as a prologue kinda to the giving up drabbles <3 and as to not confuse the timeline, this one takes place in sept 2018 and the first giving up drabble june 2019 ^^ hehe reblogs/feedback are appreciated + as always i’d love to chat abt ur thoughts 🥺

—

“i’ll call you when i arrive at the dorm, baby. let’s pack the rest of my things together, hmm?”

you hum softly in agreement, hiding your face on jungkook’s chest so he won’t see you yawn.

you’re so adorable, he thinks to himself with a grin.

matching his outfits with you in preparation for his travels has always been one of the little ways you spend quality time together. yes, you will be physically apart for most of this year and the next… but if he just pushes that fact in the back of his mind for an hour or two so he can make you laugh with his purposely horrendous choices, he thinks he may be able to leave with a lighter heart.

one last kiss is granted to your forehead, and you nuzzle your cheeks against his warm hands to cherish every ounce of his touch you can manage to steal.

you peek from the small space of the door to smile at your lover, which he then returns rife with fondness. you wave and bid your silly bye bye’s to each other, and it’s you who ultimately closes the door despite the voice in your head bewailing its protests.

it creates a clicking sound as you push it all the way, and after that, the defeaning silence fills your apartment like a toxic gas that makes it impossible to breathe. with no other soul left to witness it, your walls involuntarily come crumbling down. your eyes become blurry with unshed tears, and they fall one by one, some getting caught by your eyelashes. they hang heavy until they inevitably roll down your cheeks, as if they’re desperate not to crash and break, as if they’re horrified of their fate towards doom… much like you are.

recognizing the sensation of your weak knees threatening to give way, you lean your forehead on the hardwood to relieve some of the weight burdening your shoulders.

your chores have piled up while you were recklessly spending every second you had left with your boyfriend. you have better things to do than to cry. however, you can’t control your face that contorts to express the pain of having your heart mercilessly squeezed in your chest, tighter and tighter as the distance between you and jungkook grows, and it will only continue to do so.

you wind up as a heap on the floor, an intricate collection of love yet to be given and shards of memories calamitous and beautiful, knees hugged to your chest as you weep.

you swore you wouldn’t do this. you fucking swore you wouldn’t do this to yourself.

since losing your family, you’ve been alone, trying to survive in this world like a leaf in the eye of a storm, carried by a raging river that travels to an unknown sea. you then promised that no matter how much you affection you’ve grown to have for someone, if there comes a time that they make you feel lonely (skin-on-skin or heart-to-heart), you will be the one to walk away first. even if it hurts, even if it leaves you empty inside. for one, you’ve never liked wasting your time. you know what you want and what you need— someone who will stay within reach. your day-to-day life is far too draining for you to find the energy to beg for love and attention… and for the love of god, there’s already too many people you wish were still by your side.

your friends have witnessed you annihilate hearts and egos, leaving behind a string of jaded lovers.

but jungkook, with his bunny-like smile and endless gestures of kindness… has somehow slithered his way into a space in your heart where no one has ever been.

the apartment feels too empty with him not around. he’s not knocking rhythmically at your door from the inside to announce his arrival. he’s not in the kitchen humming songs while chopping vegetables. he’s not in the shower yelling at you because you forgot that turning on the sink makes his water cold. he’s not in the living room watching a movie on your laptop. he’s not snuggled closely with you and snoring execessively by your ear.

it’s going to be like this for a while. it’s always going to be like this, you realize.

you’re so fucking lonely.

you’ve only gotten used to him being here, and now you need to re-learn what it’s like to be without him.

you’re forced to gasp for air as you sob uncontrollably, interrupted by occasional hiccups that make your body jolt. you taste the salt in your tears as they seep into the crevice between your lips, can feel them beginning to poison your skin.

you let jungkook come too close. he slept on your bed and he learned that you’re always cold. he enveloped you in the safety of his warm embrace and you couldn’t will yourself to leave after the first time. you’ve surrendered to him the control over your body, and also your heart, which you may be breaking alongside your rule but… walking away would mean forsaking yourself.

for the first time, you are crying not because of the absence of love, but the abundance of it. humans are essentially a collection of dead stars that are brought back to life when they are consumed by the electric ache of love and yearning. you are addicted to the antidote that is the touch of another body that burns the same.

you’re free falling.

if you were to choose the cause of your madness, you would choose this.

because for the first time, you are not cursing a name, but the universe and its twisted ways. in your one-bedroom apartment, you don’t feel small; your arrogance is as big as the sun that threatens to swallow the earth whole. the empty space on your bed is now in the shape of the man who loves you.

the back of your head hits the door, and you sigh at the new predicament that presents itself to you: the fluorescent lightbulb at your doorway is flickering as if to signal its impending death.

your bad vision begs you to look away.

it’s too high. it’s too high for you to reach. jungkook isn’t here anymore.

you bury your face in your hands, another wave of tears spilling over before you could get a hold of yourself. your cries are unapologetic; you sound like a little child who got their hair pulled at the playground.

you would much rather wait for him than find a solution. you want to bear the weight of him in every possible way there is. you want to have him in mind every time you flip the light switch, because you always seem to forget that it’s dying after a long day at school.

but for now, all you can do is sit on the floor and smell his perfume on your clothes as you wait for his call.

—

jungkook is still frozen on the driver’s seat, struck with a suspicion that he left something behind in your apartment, but he can’t figure out what else there is besides his heart in the palm of your hands.

he opens up every single compartment of his backpack, but he soon carelessly discards it at the backseat because he has no idea what it is he’s even looking for.

“what is it? what is it? what is it?” he mutters absentmindedly to himself, wide doe eyes still actively darting around the car as he mulls over what could possibly be missing. “am i an idiot? am i just making things up in my head?”

but he is leaving for tour after all, it would be a big headache if he forgets to bring something important.

something important such as…

proceeding with a final inspection, he starts patting around his body, from his chest down to the pockets of his sweatpants.

“ahhh-” he makes a noise of enlightenment when he discovers one of them to be completely empty.

it then becomes vivid in his mind— the memory of him lazily setting down his wallet on your study table before he crawled on your single-sized bed as if it’s his own.

“…shit. i need to go back.”

—

he has a smirk plastered on his face as he jogs his way up to your apartment floor. radiating with pure excitement unbeknownst to himself, he even begins to skip a step with every long stride he makes across the staircase.

thanks to his forgetfulness, he found an excuse to be with you for a few minutes more.

the fourth door straight ahead, he still remembers chanting in his head the first time he visited your building on his own.

he stands before it with the intention to surprise you, but ironically, he is the one who ends up freezing in place. your muffled sobs escape through the narrow cracks of the door, and his hand slowly slips away from the handle until it drops back to his side. his vision becomes unfocused, mind going blank, only registering the shortness of his breath and the powerful punch to his gut.

that sweet, heart-fluttering smile that comforted him must’ve killed you inside.

—

“i won’t forget to call after every show.”

“that does sound nice but…” you scrunch your nose cutely. “i won’t be upset, if that’s what you’re worried about. go straight to sleep when you’re exhausted. i know you won’t have much time to rest.”

“please! you can watch me sleep too.” he pouts. “you know i always make it work. while i eat, while i shower! that won’t change. i need to see you and gain strength… or else i seriously think i won’t survive this one.”

and jungkook hopes that he’s not too much of a burden for loving you.

although, you did tell him once in passing— that anyone can be passionate, but not everyone will bravely go on stage every night to showcase those passions, even if it means testing the very limits of the human body.

“i can’t allow that to happen, can i?” you click your tongue, copying the angry frown of your boyfriend, who you find so, so, so cool.

his features soften after you pinch his soft cheek.

“your hyungs might kill me if i make their little one mope around missing me too much.”

“w-what do you mean?” he becomes flushed with embarrassment. “what kind of things do they tell you?!”

“nothing much.” your eyes shine with a glint of faux innocence. “when we were trainees, jungkook did this… since meeting you, he’s gotten more stubborn… can you tell him to wake up earlier if he plans on showering for an hour? you know, just things like that.”

“aish! jimin-hyung!” he releases a deep sigh to express his exasperation, knitted forehead not doing much to diminish the roundness of his eyes. “i bet one of them is jimin-hyung! i’m right, aren’t i? you- you’re getting too close with him! i can’t allow this- really, i- ah! no! no!”

the burst of laughter that fills the room only confirms his suspicion. you roll over on the bed to cover your face, half of your body collapsing on top of his, and you clutch your aching belly when he begins to aggressively shake you in a joking manner.

“listen, you can’t become best friends! you hear me? don’t! my secrets… what’s going to happen to them? who else can i tell them to?!”

immediately recognizing his poor choice of words once they have left his mouth, jungkook purses his lips in regret, and it’s his turn to feel his lungs burn from the lack of oxygen.

“oh, really?” you slowly sit up as you stare at him with raised eyebrows. “and what kind of secrets do you need to keep from me? huh?”

he doesn’t waste a second to reply, scrambling as to not leave any space for you to formulate more doubts in your head.

“nothing! nothing, baby!” he flashes a dreamy smile in return to your sharp glare. he gently cups the back of your head to pull you back closer, puckering his lips as he tries to meet you halfway. “come here- give me a kiss.”

you ignore his advances, moving away from him with a scoff you don’t even bother to hide. the annoyance bubbling up inside of you feels irrational, and yet you can’t stop it from controlling your body language.

his jaw slacks in disappointment. he despises being denied affection, more importantly, a kiss meant to be shared with you.

“are you mad?”

you turn your back against him, scooting closer to the edge of the bed, but jungkook doesn’t waste time in chasing after you.

“baby!” he whines, seizing your arm and tightly embracing you from the side before you can escape. “i was just joking- i promise- i swear. you’re even the first person i share my secrets with nowadays!”

you sigh in defeat, eyes fluttering shut as you allow him to caress your face and pepper your cheek with loving kisses. loud, and slightly wet, which you used to not be fond of when it came to the lovers you had before, but as for jungkook and his dewy lips, you weirdly don’t seem to mind.

“please don’t be mad.” he coos lightheartedly before ducking his head to press his lips against yours. “i don’t want us to fight before i go.”

“i’m not mad.” your reply is quiet, and it drips with hesitance. “i just don’t want to think about you having secrets while you’re away.”

you turn to communicate directly with his eyes. if you feel sick to your stomach imagining him as a person you’d never have the grace to forgive, you don’t show it.

“you understand where i’m coming from, right?”

he meekly nods.

this is another reason why he is eager to spend all his free time with you, albeit through a screen smaller than the palm of his hand, and perhaps buy you trinkets from every city that welcomes him because everything reminds him of you. he wants to give you the reassurance that he doesn’t have any plans on doing something that may hurt you. this will be excruciating, he knows, but it is also a chance to prove himself as a boyfriend worthy of your tears and sacrifices. this can’t end before it begins. he doesn’t think he’d be able to bear that. he just celebrated his first birthday with you. it hasn’t been long since you uttered the three words he’s been anxiously waiting to hear.

“i love you. please give me your trust for now… i won’t waste it. you’ll see, at the end of this, we’ll be stronger. i promise i won’t forget my responsibilities as your partner even if we’re physically apart.”

he tenderly strokes your hair, eyes filled with galaxies memorizing every inch of your face. he’s scared, too. he’s scared that he’s overestimating himself. too ambitious, too greedy for wanting both the world and the most beautiful person he has ever seen in it to love him. he’s scared of getting too exhausted. he’s scared that you won’t be there anymore when he opens his eyes.

“i will probably mope around, though, missing you too much…” he pauses, then he makes up his mind.

him getting more stubborn since he met you— it might just have some truth to it that he’s too sheepish to say out loud, especially if his members were around to hear it.

“yes, i will seriously be a handful.” he nods to himself. “so i’m already apologizing early.”

“what are those responsibilities exactly?”

“to show you that i love you!” he exclaims in a tone that screams obviously. “to make you happy, to keep you safe… to stay committed to you- yah, you already know these things!”

but still, it’s nice to hear him say it. this bed of roses is a bed of thorns; he has chosen to sleep on it with you.

you giggle heartily at the sight of his face getting flushed. “you’ve been doing a great job then, baby.”

the praise causes his doe eyes to sparkle with glee. “really?”

“really!” his heart skips a beat when you softly cup his face in your hands, wearing that kind smile he can’t help but fall in love with over and over again. “don’t worry, i won’t let you miss me too much. i have my share of the responsibilities too.”

—

he swallows the lump in his throat, shakily sitting on the floor with his back against the door. he doesn’t know how long he stays there. he only knows that it’s near sunrise because the lights across the hallways have gone out one by one.

with an elbow resting on top of his knee, he fiddles with the laces of his shoe with no rhythm or rhyme— silently crying with you, clueless as to what he should do. he didn’t learn about this in school, nor during dance practices. no one teaches you what to do when you hurt a person you love but there’s no fault to fix and apologize for.

every now and then, a tenant passes by, and he is overwhelmed with the urge to scream at them to fuck off and mind their own business.

adding to his frustration is his phone, which has been vibrating with calls and text messages. he only spares them a dismissive glance before clicking the off button. yes, he fucking knows it’s already 5am. yes, he’s still with his baby. however, he is forced to send a reply to his manager when asked if they could finish packing his luggages for him to save time. no. no, no, no.

on the other side of the door, the pitter-patter of mechanical rain tickles your ears. your nimble fingers doesn’t cease on tapping on the keyboard even as your eyes stray to the contact name above the conversation, just to make sure that it’s your boyfriend you’re texting.

to: my jungkook

babyyy the sun is about to rise

so i’m not sleepy anymore :(

you're not home yet?

wait. if you're still driving just reply later

be a good driver before a good bf for now ☺️

ohoh i don’t mind if you don't have time to call anymore. just text me rq before you take off pleaseee so i know you're safe and sound

and after the flight ofc!! 😭

i love you! ❤️

seconds later, a pounding at the door makes your body jolt in shock. you carelessly rush to stand up, the safety measure of looking through the peephole not even crossing your mind before you swing it open.

jungkook stuns you with his presence, chest heaving with every breath as he studies you in a fog of haze. your messy hair perfectly frames your pretty face. your parted lips are raw from the crime of your sharp teeth forcibly putting an end to your crying. your eyes are still damp with tears, and they shine every time the warm light hanging above your head flickers.

if you could only read his mind, you won’t have to worry about him wanting anybody else.

once again, he finds himself helplessly infatuated. why do you have to look utterly bewitching even when you cry? fuck, and your texts… how did he get so lucky? you fuel something carnal inside of him that he has difficulty putting into words.

and so, he allows his actions to speak for himself.

“jungk-” his name is interrupted with a high-pitched whimper caught in your throat. your trembling hands desperately grasp the sides of his hoodie as you stumble backwards, struggling to recriprocate the unrestrained fervour of his kisses.

he’s out of control. he has never kissed you like this before. you don’t know if he doesn’t feel your weak fists punching his chest or he just doesn’t care. you feel dizzy… dizzy, dizzy, dizzy.

you’re confused why he’s still standing at your doorway. you’re terrified of losing your balance. you’re crushing a pair of sneakers underneath the soles of your feet and it hurts. but his fingers are tightly tangled with your hair, the others playing a saccharine hymn along the keys of your spine, and for the pleasure he gives, you can endure to live with the pain.

the familiar taste of mint on his tongue is far too addictive for you not to indulge. you can’t stop craving for more of it, more of him, and you let your lungs burn.

but soon it mixes with the salt in his tears as his emotions crash on the shore like a tsunami. the seal of your lips is broken by a quiet sob, and in shame, he ends the kiss to bury his face in the crook of your neck.

“____, what do i do? i don’t want to leave.”

your heart shatters into pieces as he sniffles, voice cracking as he musters up the courage to confess to you in between.

“jungkook…”

the words of sincerity feel heavy on his tongue. he’s never been good at this; always relied on his ability to feel. in spite of that, he wants to bare all of himself to you, and he prays that you believe him when he says- “i can’t imagine my life without you anymore.”

“so don’t. you don’t have to think about things like that.” you sigh as you wrap your arms around his shoulders, subtly swaying your bodies to soothe him. “come on, love. why are you crying…? you know where to find me, don’t you?”

you feel him nod before he mumbles pensively. “here… or school, or the restobar.”

“that’s right.” you chuckle. “just don’t lose your key. i’m not going anywhere.”

but he fears it’s his goddamn mind he might just lose. he squeezes his eyes shut, embracing you tighter as he counts the seconds in his head. he will let go after thirty, then perhaps he will stay for another ten.

in another lifetime, jungkook wishes that he could tell you the same.

—

taglist in the reblogs! send an ask/dm if you want to be added (or removed) :D

—

[xcherricutie]

๋࣭ ⭑⚝ shit sandwich ᯓ★

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[Shadow the Hedgehog × Reader]

[Word Count - 2k]

[Summary - Forced to become a villain, you think your life is completely over, but a certain hedgehog shows you otherwise]

[Tags: Swearing. Idk if you could tell by the title but there's a lot of swearing. Shadow drops an F NUKE. Reader is written as a female human, but you can read however you like, it's never mentioned. Pretty platonic, mostly just the reader and Shadow bonding over their misery]

[Notes: I'm gonna be honest, Shadow is super OOC in this, I was kinda just having fun. I was listening to Loser, Baby from Hazbin Hotel while looking for oneshot ideas, and this came to me. I haven't written Shadow, or even played any games featuring him aside from SA2 in a while, so he might act a little silly goofy. I also wrote this in one night and it's 2 am so y'know]

⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. You had a life once, hopes and dreams that you aspired for. You didn’t ever let life get you down, always looking on the positive side. And you felt like you were actually doing pretty good in life. You had your own home, friends and family. You felt like you were at the top of the world. You didn’t think anything could take you down, turn your world upside down. 

And then he appeared. Just plucked you up from the streets as you were walking home one day. Told you no one would miss you, that he was doing you a favor. In one fell swoop, your whole life had been ripped from your grasp, and you lost everything, at the hands of the mad scientist, Doctor Eggman. 

He had promised you a better life, said you were the first in a series of experiments to create artificial life. He had stripped away your humanity, turned you into a monster for his own use. He turned you against your own friends and family and forced you to attack your hometown as a “starting point”. You were his very first biotechnical android, trapped by the code he put in you, turning you into just another villain for his archenemy to take down. Your doom had already been sealed the moment he took you that fateful day, and the only thing you could do was watch. 

You let out a pained cry as your back hit the wall of a dark alleyway. As you slid to the ground, your bleary vision landed on the silhouette stretching before your feet, the moonlight casting the shadow of your foe. You tilted your head up, ignoring the pain that shot through your back and neck, your eyes immediately drawing to the bright red pools glaring down at you. You knew you were dead the moment you had become an android, but it was just your luck that you were up against the morally grey side of the hedgehog counterparts. Shadow the Hedgehog, once someone who had worked alongside the Doctor, now someone who went around destroying everything related to the Doctor, regardless of innocence. Not that you were innocent anymore, you knew you had to accept your fate, but Shadow didn’t make it any easier. 

You didn’t even bother trying to speak on your behalf. You were fully capable of it, you had freedom on that part. The only thing in your life you couldn’t control was the strong urge to destroy everything in your path. You couldn’t resist it; it was in your own coding to destroy without regard. So there was no point in trying to prove your own innocence. 

You couldn’t even fight anymore, Shadow had made certain of that. With your eye blackened and swollen, your bones ached and begged for you to stay down. Every twitch of your muscles made them throb, leaving you to lay on the ground, waiting for what you could only hope to be a swift end. But it seemed your luck wouldn’t allow that, as the sound of his approaching footsteps stopped just before you. 

You forced your head to lift just enough to see what the holdup was, brows furrowed in confusion as you looked up to see his face. The moonlight shone down through the cloudy sky, his body blocking the light from you, surrounding you in his cold silhouette. But through the darkness, you could see his bright red eyes, and the confusion in them. 

“Why?” 

You almost didn’t catch his singular word of question. Blinking, you looked up at him with wide eyes, your mind disoriented and foggy. You had even begun to wonder if you had imagined it, until you heard his gruff voice speak up, much more annoyed this time. 

“Why are you doing this? You look like just a regular person, you don’t have any business with the Doctor,” Shadow spoke, bending slightly at the hips, staring into your eyes. You could only look up at him in shock, astounded that he would even take the time to ask you such a question. From everything you had heard about Shadow, he wasn’t one to ask questions. He was more the type to act first, ask questions later, or so you had assumed. What was so different now? 

“Don’t make me ask again.” Shadow’s eyes squinted, his patience quickly thinning. You swallowed thickly, taking in a quick, shaky breath. You had your opportunity to explain yourself, so why? Why were you hesitating? 

You had nothing to return to. Even if you somehow got out of the situation you were in, you had nothing left. Your friends and family were gone, running away from you. Your home was gone, your whole life was gone. This was all you had left, all you were. The villain you had been forced to become had consumed you and became your entire identity. 

You didn’t even realize your cheeks were soaked with tears until you choked on a sob, squeezing your eyes shut as you turned your head away in shame. You didn’t have any right to shed tears, you were a horrible person, weren’t you? Even if you were forced, even if you tried to resist, you had still done bad things. You still had to accept your responsibilities and let go of the hope that you could go back to your old life. 

Shadow’s eyes widened as he watched you turn away, raising a shaky hand to your face, trying to wipe away your tears. He couldn’t wrap his mind around you, around why you were like this. You showed up without warning some time back, going around city to city just destroying with reckless abandon. Or so that was how it had seemed at the time, but with the way you were breaking down in front of him now, he had his doubts that you enjoyed it or even wanted it. 

“You don’t want to, do you?” 

Your hands slowed to a stop as you looked up at Shadow, your tears streaming freely now. Hesitantly, you shook your head, unable to open your mouth. You were surprised he had even deduced that much, but then again, Shadow had been defying your expectations since the second you met him. 

Shadow sucked in a deep breath as he stood up straight, before looking down at you with what you thought was an almost sympathetic look. Your eyes widened as a hand was suddenly stretched outward to you, your gaze snapping between the hand and Shadow’s eyes. You only took the hand when you noticed Shadow’s growing impatience, his eye twitching with irritation. 

“What did he do to you?” Shadow asked, pulling you up and onto your feet, leading you out onto the sidewalk. You rubbed your arm nervously, tempted to just make a run for it, knowing you were stuck like this no matter what. The look Shadow gave you told you it was a bad idea to even think about trying, making you exhale in enervation. 

“Turned me into an android,” You muttered, avoiding Shadow’s gaze. You closed your eyes, as if to try and block out the world, your voice barely above a whisper. “I can’t control it. Sometimes, it’s just an accident. Sometimes, he forcefully directs me towards places he wants gone. I was just a normal person before he took me away from my home. I can’t go back even if I wanted to, he made me destroy everything I cared about.” 

You didn’t open your eyes to see his reaction. You didn’t care to see it; you didn’t want to see the pity in his eyes. You didn’t want your enemy pitying you, unable to help you. What could he do? Besides destroying you, there was nothing Shadow could do to help you, as far as you were aware. 

“Your whole existence seems fuckin’ hopeless,” Shadow muttered, making your eyes snap wide open as you looked down at him, completely dumbfounded. You didn’t think you’d ever heard anything quite as rude as the words that had just come from his mouth. You could feel yourself bristle as your fists clenched, nearly splitting at the seams with anger when Shadow’s voice dragged you from your violence-filled thoughts. “You think your life is wrecked, huh?” 

Your eye twitched with anger, rolling your eyes heavily as you slumped down onto the edge of the sidewalk, your muscles aching too much to care about fighting him. Just as you sat down though, you felt Shadow’s presence just behind you, an almost evil smirk pulling at his lips as he bent down to your level. 

“Well, let me just say, you’re correct,” 

“Wait, what?” You looked back at Shadow with wide eyes, your gaze lifting from his shoes as he backed up, up to the small smirk on his face as you met his stare. 

“You’re a loser, a fucked up whiny bitch,” Shadow’s grin grew almost sadistically as he noticed you flare up with anger, your fists clenched as you tried to get up, your tired muscles keeping you down. However, just as you had begun to turn away and ignore him, you heard his voice drop to a mumble. “You’re a loser, just like me.” 

Slightly surprised, you tried to shrug it off as you hugged yourself, giving Shadow the middle finger as you faced away from him. “Thanks, asshole.” 

Shadow rolled his eyes, but couldn’t help the smile that graced his lips, an odd feeling blooming within him. He didn’t think he’d ever relate to anyone’s situation, let alone sympathize, but he supposed there was a first time for everything. 

“There was a time I thought no one could relate to me, but letting walls down can sometimes set you straight,” Shadow stood beside you, shooting you a small smile, as if to comfort you. But the glint of sadism hadn’t quite faded as his canines flashed. “We’re all living in the same shit sandwich.” 

You looked up at Shadow in shock, before an almost airy feeling washed over you, a giggle escaping your lips. And just like that, you had completely forgotten why you were mad in the first place, returning the smile as Shadow sat beside you. 

As the silence filled the air once more, your gaze was turned onto the full moon in the sky, basking in its cool blue hues of light. You sighed deeply, eyes drifting shut as you hung your head down. “I’m trapped and it gets worse with every hour.” 

Shadow stared down at your small, miserable form, before his eyes jumped to something in the distance, avoiding you as he spoke. “You’re a loser...” 

Shadow watched you bristle in the corner of his eye, making him smile as he continued. “But just maybe, if we eat shit together, things will end up differently.” 

And just as soon as he had angered you, Shadow had somehow stunned you into silence, your eyes staring into his. Your silence dragged on for an awkward moment, as if waiting for him to say some new obscenity to anger you, but it never came. You rolled your eyes, scoffing as you smiled. 

“You know, you make a pretty shitty friend,” You said, your words making Shadow chuckle softly. 

“So I’ve heard. But I mean it,” The smile on Shadow’s face faded as he turned to you, looking you directly in the eye. “I can find you the help you deserve. You shouldn’t have to be forced into a life of servitude for that man, and I’ll make sure you can get back a better life.” 

Shadow stood up, holding a hand out to you. But this time, you didn’t hesitate or think about it, placing your hand in his own, a smile tugging at the corners of your lips. Once again, Shadow had defied your expectations, pleasantly surprising you with his odd offer of something akin to a friendship. 

Perhaps it wasn’t meant to be like this in the beginning. You had never intended for your life to go this direction, but maybe it didn’t have to be so bad now. You had finally found the positive side, and had something to look forward to again, alongside your new friend, Shadow the Hedgehog.

ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ

[ivvyela]

thinking about that theory where peter parker is the mcu's anchor being. and like. the possibilities of it. imagine learning your entire universe's anchor being, the person who pretty much controls the fate of the universe, is some guy who just doesn't exist??? not even dropped off the face of the earth, but there is no proof of this person even existing in the first place???? and maybe strange or the fantastic four or whoever feels responsible for/is tasked with finding and protecting this anchor being but that's kinda hard to do when you have Absolutely Nothing to go off of.

or alternatively, peter himself learning that the entire universe is basically relying on him staying alive, and he already has a lot on his shoulders but this??? having lost everything and everyone and now learning that the weight of the world is literally on his shoulders and fuck!!! he just wanted to be a friendly neighborhood spider-man but that's parker luck for you!!

and like. there's so many ways to take it and i haven't seen anyone considering this and guys. guys. consider it. take it and run with it or what have you. fuck it and throw doctor doom in the mix for the irondad girlies because surely that will be fun.

and i know i know the theory doesn't fully go hand in hand with the mcu cannon but. fuck the cannon. let me scream into the void about this. let me shove it in your faces and hope someone does something with it. let me have my silly where's waldo peter parker anchor being au.

[lauvfool]

♯ It Ain't Me , Babe

"Go away from my window, leave at your own chosen speed"

⊹ ࣪. content : Manjiro Sano (Mikey) x female reader. Despite sharing the same emotions, he can't bring himself to commitment.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ Even with her gentle touch, her words nurtured towards him. He couldn't believe her for a second. [Name], the girl who seemed ever so perfect, being the one chasing after him? Manjiro thought it was too good to be true, like some sort of sick dream.

Even when she has her hand on his face, telling him all sorts of sweet things. With the most sincere look on her face, he can't help but think it's false. Not when she could have someone better...

Someone who can understand her better. Maybe she'll find someone who can give her everything she wants. Someone to love her more than he convinced himself he doesn't.

Calling her from her bedroom window late one night to chase the stars in a harmless manner. With hands intertwined as the leaped across an array of scenery, landing upon a hill that pointed up to the skies above.

While gentle, love striken teens just trying to live out their lives. Manjiro who stares at her as she cups his face in her hands. Warm and gentle to the touch, as she looks into his eyes with those ever so grazen eyes.

With the stars overhead, like parts of the sky cut out to shine through the dark bliss. The soft moonlight that could shine around the two. Though, destined to stay as two star crossed lovers. Agonized by doom and misfortune upon themselves. To let love guide is such a foolish proposal, isn't it?

Even with her comfortable sayings, he felt that hint of reluctance coursing through his gaze. Mikey put his hand against hers, which had previously been against his cheek, only too pull away from her yet again...

"I'm not the one you want, [Name]." Manjiro stated, as if a fact. With that guilty gleam in his eyes as he tried to face her. [Name]'s lips crinkled downwards into a soft frown before shaking her head.

"Manjiro, you're the only one I need," [Name] mumbled. The words that left her soft lips filling his ears eagerly. "There's dangers, I'm sorry, [Name]," He said her name so softly satisfying her soul, at least with that gentle sensation.

Yet the gentle rejection felt more like being thrown around. [Name] nodded in response before looking down towards the fresh cut grass covered by an evening blanket.

Lightly shaking her head as she turned towards him. "That'll never change anything for me," She said, her words sincere... Mikey couldn't bring himself to believe her. Not when he barely could justify his own feelings.

...

Though appearing so effortlessly to disappear. Days flipping through, months flying by, years just passing. Only to lose contact with one each other.

[Name] would still look up towards the stars they had previously found comfort with. Through the sky, the motorbikes that would pass by, in the silly fish shaped cake he would always enjoy as teens.

Would he even still remember the times they had spent together? The feelings that had whithered through the two...

She understood his emotions, though it didn't stop the pain from seeping through. Had she missed her chance all those years ago? There was no possibility to relive it now, only to find comfort in the words that now ceased to exist.

Manjiro, who had previously told her to choose someone new. How could she when she's so utterly bewitched by him? His brave leadership, careless nature, and charismatic draw.

Maybe it was just a spur of emotions. So why couldn't she just get over it? Missing their times where they'd just be carless as if nothing mattered.

Maybe it would be fate if they'd see each other again. Meant to be, woven together to be fallen to meet. At least, that's what Manjiro declared. If he'd see her again, he would decide to let her into his life. Not push her out and be honest with her.

It was a slim chance, wasn't it?

...

A night to which everything was calm, a gentle breeze passing. Well, days in Tokyo were never peaceful. Always loud chatter or noise of people going off to their destinstions. And for that, a motorcycle race [Name] had decided to attend with one of her friends.

Bikes racing by at top speed, afraid to be left behind. A musical roar igniting from the engine as [Name]'s eyes drift to the racers. Heads cast within a helmet in order to ensure protection, all painted different colors with various logos.

Her eyes laid onto a certain one spelling out 'Top of Manji,' holding the title of top racer within Tokyo. [Name] could only wonder what type of person he was. Yet once he slipped off his helmet for a sip of water, there was no mistaking what type of person he was.

There was no mistaking his deep eyes that now connected as the same color as his hair. Now dyed an inky color and cut shorter than when his hair appeared the complete opposite than back in their younger years.

His eyes seemed to latch onto her as well. Bewitched by the all too familiar sight of the first love he couldn't commit to. His heart felt an all too familiar ache stored down.

He quickly set his helmet down against the rough handles of his motorcycle. His eyes not tearing away from her as he walked towards her, lifting himself up from the railings effortlessly.

"Guess stars do align," His voice was more matured and calm. Situated with his way of living as he took in everything about her. Her eyes gleamed the same way they always did, face shaped to perfection, everything about her was flawless.

[Name] lightly laughed at his cheesy statement. Lightly shaking her head in disapproval before looking back up at him. "Yeah, guess so..." She mumbled, her eyes locked onto his. It felt strange, to say the least. How did you meet someone once again when you loved them so long ago?

He lightly smiled at her, taking a soft hold of her hand in his. Leading her away from the crowd, despite people's loud whispers and obvious stares.

Even when they're an equal distance apart, with the feeling as strangers, there still lingers a small comfortable sense in the air. It was quiet for a moment. Manjiro was the one to initiate the talking.

"I'm sorry." He said, with a small saddened smile on his face. "For a lot of things. Especially knowing how you felt about me back then... but I know I can be better now, not just for you and I, but us. That is if you are still willing?" His words seemed hushed. Wincing with each word he spoke.

[Name] quietly hummed before a small laugh escaped her throat. "Let's focus on catching up with each other first, hm?" She smiled. He nodded in agreement.

"I'd like that..."

Dawg who wrote this dookie and took 29298 years 💔 anyways make sure to like subscribe and hit that notification bell so you never miss another daily upload. Requested by Arwa I'm sorry I took a whole century

[1moreff-creator]

Who do you think will survive the killing game??? ( also if you were already asked this my B )

:D

Hi! Don’t worry, I don’t think I’ve ever talked about it, so I had to give it some thought :p It’s an interesting question, so let’s see!

As a TL;DR, my “most likely,” in order and assuming a standard killing game formula (obviously the amount of survivors could be way different), are Teruko - J - Whit - Rose - Levi

Spoilers up to CH2 EP15

Of course, there’s one character that’s already kinda locked in as a survivor (assuming a more or less standard fangan ending and not an “everyone dies” sorta situation), and that’s Teruko. While there were theories about a possible protag switch post-LGI release, I’ve never found them particularly believable, and I don’t really think they’re very popular anymore.

The next character that’s basically a survivor already is Min, because if I never accept her death, she will always be alive in my books. /j

Yeah honestly after Teruko my confidence on survivor guesses drops dramatically, since there’s obviously no good way to tell.

Still, one character that particularly stands out to me is J. I have my reasons to believe she might become the primary support character a la Kirigiri, and while that doesn’t guarantee survival, I’d say it ups the chances a bit.

As to why I believe that… well here’s the thing. I’m kinda planning to make a mastermind probability ranking post after CH2 ends, and I’ll talk about my predictions for J in more detail there. As a result, I’d just be repeating myself if I talk about it here. So, I'll give you the quick rundown and leave the more detailed explanation for that post.

Basically, I believe the core theme of DRDT is the concept of “fate” and the possibility of change, where the big climax for Teruko’s character arc in particular (the single most important arc for the narrative, protag privilege) will be rejecting the notion that she’s fated to have bad luck forever. She already talked about it with Xander before he stabbed her, and her primary character foil, David, “covered” Literature Girl Insane. You don’t exactly give that song to a character who is very hopeful for a better future. Even Teruko’s trust issues are born from the belief her bad luck makes betrayal inevitable. And with Ace talking about how he’s “a coward who couldn’t fight his fate” (paraphrased), the connection seems more solid than ever.

J is important in that context because her entire character is sorta designed around the concept of rejecting fate, the thing Teruko needs to “learn to do” as it were. J was born into stardom and fame, born “lucky” (LGI numeral number seven symbolism go brr), but hides it and rejects her birthright down to her secret quote, “Please don’t call me your daughter ever again.” If Charles and Eden are the ones who are trying to get Teruko to trust again, I see J as the one who has the best shot at convincing her that she’s not doomed by the universe itself, giving her the best shot at survival out of any non-protag imo.

Also, silly yet existent argument: the CH1 title screen had Teruko (and Xander), the CH2 had J. Is it possible the survivors will each be featured in one screen? Probably not, but still.

The next one’s Whit. DRDT seems committed to explore its characters as much as possible before they die (which I think we all agree is awesome), and that means those that haven’t been fully explored or developed yet have a higher chance of a late run, thus a higher chance of survival. This applies to J and Rose somewhat, but it applies to Whit especially. I sometimes feel that we know more about Mai Akasaki than we do about Whit, which should tell you something.

Contrast that to Charles, who is absolutely dying sometime soon (imo). Even ignoring the “Charles dead at three” Whit comment from the prologue, Charles’ character arc is a little too complete for me to think it’s likely he stays ‘till the end. After we close out the Elliot subplot (which could easily be in CH3 given Elliot’s MV is already out), killing Charles off would be a good way to really kickstart Whit’s inevitable Breakdown Arc.

Final points to consider about Whit are the fact that luck is mentioned in his character bio, which along with J’s LGI numeral VII and Teruko being Teruko gives him an extra connection to the two survivors I’ve pointed out; and the possibility of him being the mastermind. Again something for the MM post, but put briefly; he’s not a bad mastermind guess, but I think it’s very likely that if he is, he won’t survive, so there’s that.

The next one might be Rose? Recap foil with J, so if the dev wants to explore that to its fullest, Rose will probably make a late run at least. There’s a lot to explore with her character too, but frankly that’s a bit of a moot point; every character in DRDT has a lot to explore.

Even if she’s one of, if not the best pick for mastermind imo, it’s very possible she can be the type of MM to be redeemed and survive alongside the cast. Again, details will probably have to wait for the mastermind post :v Hate to be saying that so much, but understandably given some of the reasoning is similar, a lot of good MM guesses are good survivor guesses.

As for the fifth most likely… well, this is the reason this post took me a week (this and I was busy :v). See, if you’d asked me during the hiatus, I would have said Ace. Obviously, that wouldn’t have aged very well now would it?

The ask was sent a bit after Ep14, and by the time I got some free time to write this, it was already Wednesday and anything I said about Ace or Eden could have very realistically been proven wrong in just a few days, so I decided to hold off until culprit reveal. And now that Ace is looking like the blackened, I’m pretty glad I did.

This does bring up a curious issue of gender balance. In theory, there’s nothing stopping DRDT’s survivor cast from leaning one way or the other, but generally survivor casts do try to keep it as equal as possible. And with three women already listed, even putting Nico here would cause an imbalance. But the thing is… I don’t see almost any of the men surviving?

Hence, Levi. I frankly have no clue where his character is going with the recent reveals and the fact Ace is dying soon; I could just as easily see him as the second CH3 victim (if there are two) or fulfilling “buff character curse” by dying in 4. But… not knowing where someone’s arc is going is kinda the reason Whit is up there, so I’m using the same reasoning. It’s my least confident guess, so yeah. He’d certainly be an interesting survivor at least, I wonder how he’d play off the mastermind in trial 6.

To quickly cover the other characters, I’ll go in order of least likely to survive to most likely. Excusing the dead, of course.

-Ace: He’s technically still alive, but, uh… uh…

-David: If he were to survive, he’d need to go on a near identical arc to Teruko, which is… hard to imagine properly working. He’ll make a late run, probably, but I can’t see him reaching the sixth.

-Charles: Already explained.

-Arturo might be a little too insane to work. It’s hard to imagine a sixth trial with Arturo of all damn people around. Especially if J’s there.

And… those are kinda all the guesses I have for who is (in my belief) 100% dying. I could actually see every other character being a survivor :v

-Veronika runs into the same issue as Arturo; it’d be hard to let the mastermind do MM stuff when this girl’s there simping for them. However, I could see a world where dev keeps her for the psychoanalysis of the MM… kinda. Frankly, she should be in the “no chance” list, but… she’s my favorite alongside Min so let me have hope!-

-Nico has the advantage that they’re the only way to make a cast of 5 survivors perfectly balanced in terms of boys and girls; two of each and Nico. But that’s not very strong. The main issue is that I don’t really know what could happen with them in the remaining chapters that would advance their character to a point they’re a survivor, if that makes sense. Maybe if Rose makes it?

-Hu is weird. From what we’ve seen in the series, she would make a pretty compelling survivor. But… her secret quote…

Hu: I want to pay for what I’ve done. But even then, I still want to live.

Like, that’s the most “blackened” line in history; do you wanna state your victim’s name while you’re at it? Part of me wants to say that’s too obvious and the line will have a different context, but… it’s a secret quote in the source code of her character page. It’s not that obvious to anyone who follows the series more casually.

-Eden: I could see the argument of Eden>Rose (and therefore Eden>Levi as he’s only there due to gender balancing), since our favorite Clockmaker is quite easy to imagine in a final trial setting. The main issue is that… assuming a more or less standard formula, it’d be sorta weird to have someone in the sixth trial who can out-hope speech the protag, and Eden definitely fits that bill. It’s possible she makes it, especially given her involvement in the pre-prologue scene with Xander’s eye, but idk.

Here are a few extra survivor configurations I could see happening! Obviously there’s plenty more, so watch absolutely none of them be right.

Teruko-J-Whit-Eden-Levi/Nico (Teruko MM or dead MM with no “two victims” case)

Teruko-J-Rose/Eden-Levi/Nico (Whit MM)

Teruko-Whit-Rose-Nico (J MM)

Teruko-J-Whit-Hu (Veronika MM)

Teruko-Whit-J-Rose/Eden-Levi-Min?!?! (Min MM)

Teruko-Rose-Eden-Whit-Levi/Nico-Min (Baking Squad Cope!!!)

Teruko-J-Whit-Veronika-Levi/Nico (Why not?)

Everyone (The only right answer)

Thanks a lot for the ask! Fun to ramble about this series lol.

[alltimefail]

This song, "For Forever" was on George's Edwin playlist (he said so in a Cameo) and holy fuck it's perfect for Edwin and Charles.

Knowing the current fate of our beloved show it stings a little extra hard to talk about, but not in a bad way and I want to talk about why that is. Warning that I'm going to wax poetic here, maybe definitely cry a little along the way, but please stick with me. 🖤

These boys have a bond that is special; it defies hell, rejects heaven, scoffs at the classic tragedies with a molotov cocktail in hand, rewrites the expected "bury your gays" trope (surprise, the gays came back as ghosts!), and says fuck a soulmate - I willed this, I chose this, I chose you, fate may have brought us together but I stayed with you and I'd do it again. No one can change that they are together for forever, two friends having a perfect day every day because the other one is there. They'll always have each other in every universe, they'll be together until the end of time and not even death herself can (or would) split them up. For Charles and Edwin it's just sky for forever, inside jokes, silly dance sessions, late night games of cluedo, reminiscing and confiding, puzzling cases, paperwork, infinite backpacks to organize, spells to master, books to read aloud (Edwin doing the reading of course while Charles enjoys), and long walks to wherever, whenever, because they've got nothing but time.

These two silly ghost boys will have the promise of endless possibility, content with the life they've made in their death, just letting the world pass them by for forever and it's everything, better than a life either of them could have ever imagined. Charles and Edwin have known so much tragedy and injustice in their respective lifetimes, they know loss intimately and are constatly fighting tooth and nail against the many forces that try to separate them along the way, but they still choose to do good, to help others, and they are happy because the reward is enough: the ability to bask in the light they've found in eachother is more than enough. Regardless of how you interpret that love, it is truly eternal and pure... so much so that it honestly makes some of the greatest love stories and epics pale in comparison.

All that to say, every time we talk about these two and tell their stories (through another television adaptation, through rewatching season 1 and analyzing every little detail, through fanart, through the comics, through their appearance in doom patrol, and so on) we only add to that cosmic universe that they'll exist in forever. Their story doesn't end with the Netflix adaptation, just like it didn't really start there either.

"You say 'There's nowhere else I'd rather be, and I say me too... we just talk and take in the view."

That line ⬆️ is the essence of the boys whole dynamic, and you know what? That is really fucking beautiful. The whole drive in this song - its steady, epic build and sensational crescendos that convey excitement, awe, a little bit of uncertainty, and an abundance of unbriddled emotion - is exactly how Charles and Edwin's dynamic feels and it's a goddamn treasure, a fucking whirlwind, a blessing to witness. Frankly the love they share is worth celebrating, it's worth honoring and creating for because it's breathtaking, pure joy, warmth, and unyielding devotion. It's a one of a kind story with two boys who will always come to each other's rescue, who will do everything in their power to make sure the other is okay, who will accept each other and pick each other up every time and love each other enough in death to make up for all the people who dared to not see the brilliant light they shined in life.

Netflix may not want to tell their story any more, but we can. We can keep making art, writing fics, supporting Jayden and George who brought our boys to life - and Kassius and Yuyu who gave us their sensational living counterparts as well. I know I love these dead boys and their alive girl companions and that their story will always mean the world to me. I love their love, the found family they've created, and all the residual joy and inspiration it causes; but most of all I love that they've brought us all together in our own little found family. No one can take that from us, nor can they take that from the writers, cast, and crew who put everything into starting this legacy.

So let's do what we do best and get back to our work...for forever, yeah? Maybe another streaming service saves our show (and that would he fucking mint, aces, BRILLS!!!!) but at the end of the day, fandom can immortalize this story.

There's still cases to solve, rights to wrong, jobs to job! No reason to stop just because Netflix mucked this up royally. 🔎💀

[fremiinetistic]

Au where Lyney and Lynette go on a mission and never return, after weeks of overthinking and sleeping alone in their room in their clothes a fatui officer tells Freminet they had been killed. Freminet only gets worse but before he can kill himself Istaroth visits him and they make a deal, he can rewind time to how he sees fit

He gets trapped in a timeloop trying to save his siblings. Over time he loses his mind, he gets so close to saving them but never can. He has screamed at them that they were going to die and poured his heart out explaining everything that has happened even if it feels sour in his throat and even still he had to try again.

Lyney and Lynette are doomed to die by 23, and by some dumb luck in a timeline they make it past that, but they end up dying anyways and Freminet drives himself mad trying to recreate it. He follows exactly what he did in that timeline, he isolates them, anything.

Venti has heard of him of course, how could he not? His mother took in another child. At first he doesn't know what Freminet is doing. He only heard about Freminet through the whispers of the wind, they meet up and talk sometimes, between timelines. Eventually he learns of what Freminet is trying to do and attempts to stop him, but Freminet is far too stubborn. He isolates himself and tries over and over and over because maybe this time he'll save them.

Everytime their 23rd birthday approaches he panics, how will they die this time? Will they make it past only to suffer the same fate to mock him? It feels like that at this point. Celestia is mocking him.

Istaroth gave Freminet a new name. When he made the deal he lost what made him human and instead became something new, something much much worse.

He analyses their deaths to figure out what he did wrong, watching every detail. Ignoring the bile that clings to his throat.

He doesn't stop, he can't stop because if he loses them doesn't he lose himself? (He lost himself when they first died. He hasn't been the same since.) In some timelines he just gives up, maybe if he doesn't do anything but stay in his room rotting away they'll get concerned and be too busy taking care of him to leave. Even that doesn't work, nothing ever works he has to try again. The thing is he doesn't have to reset and try again, hes in a self imposed timeloop, he could stop at any time but he doesn't on the off chance that he can save them. What if he can save them? if be stops now he will never know and wouldn't get the chance to.

Their deaths aren't always the same, they've died in a thousand different ways. At first it made Freminet sick, but at some point he grew numb to it. (Not really, that's how he makes it seem. Everytime he wants to scream, cry, puke, and destroy everything around him.) He knew he needed to get used to it if he was going to save them. Hes forced himself to push every unhelpful emotion down knowing how many failed attempts there were. Emotions will only get in the way and lead to them dying again, if he can't think then he can't think about the fact hes watched the only people be cares about die hundreds— maybe even thousands of times. If he's numb no one will suspect him and ignore his slip ups, Freminet a timetraveler? How silly.

Freminet randomly says things he shouldn't know or things no one has told him because at some point the timelines start to blend together and he mixes what he should and shouldn't know up.

Sometimes Lyney and Lynette notice somethings different, during practices the tricks that would make him have a hint of a smile don't work, he doesn't care for his favorite foods, sure he was cold and borderline pessimistic before but now he just seems hollow and tense, always on fight or flight. (More like fight or reset, he refuses to run and only have himself to blame for their deaths.) He doesn't care about his least favorite food either, they've seen him drink coffee multiple times despite the fact it used to make him panic. It's the only thing that keeps him up by now, he's tired and doesn't know how to fix it or remembers why. (He doesn't sleep, why sleep when that's another chance for them to die? He could be working to save them instead.) When they cuddle he seems distant like he's thinking about something, he tries to enjoy those moments but how can be knowing they'll die again? He can hold them for however long he wants and enjoy their presence when he breaks the cycle.

After the thousand or so tries Freminet started to feel a sort of disdain towards Lyney and Lynette, they were why he was doing this in the first place. The timelines start to mesh together in his mind, he can't really remember why he started this in the first place. He doesn't have the time to stop though, he'll remember when they're safe.

Did he ever truly love them or was he always just obsessed like he is now? He doesn't know, he can't tell. All he knows is it still hurts when he wakes up in the middle of the night remembering their first death, he wasn't there but he can see it so vividly.

He misses who he used to be, maybe if he didn't make this agreement things would have turned out different, being dead would be better than this, atleast then he would get to be with Lyney and Lynette. He didn't have to make the deal, he didn't actually give up anything in it, not his soul, not his life, even if it feels like it. Istaroth knew what would happen and that was enough of a payment.

Eventually the space between timelines' wall is filled with broken clocks, thousands of him. The first one still sitting on his table. At one point he spent years doing nothing but staring at it wondering what it could have been like. The area between timelines is essentially a white void with one wall full of clocks, everytime he fails one breaks. It has a tea table in the middle with two chairs one for him and the other for any visitors. (Mostly Venti, Istaroth rarely visits if ever anymore.)

Everytime he resets he thinks “maybe this time, maybe this time I'll save them.” and he never does. He gets so so so so close but in the end he always fails. The timeloop ends when he goes back one last time and kills himself, and in that timeline his siblings live. They were destined to never be together no matter how hard he tries, they were doomed from the start and nothing he can do can stop it.

[thesnazzysharky]

Ranking the specimens based on how tragic they are (2/2)

Annnnd we're back! Make sure to check out part 1 before this one. Let's get right back to ranking some specimens.

12. Body Bag

For a long while, not much was known about this undead corpse. People had their guesses and theories about who this man previously was; such as some speculating that he could have possibly been a body builder or prisoner of war due to how oddly fit his body is for a corpse. But as for what killed him? The dent in his head could give some implications, but anything could have killed really.

He does have two lines of text that show up before you face him or get hit from him.

"Why did you leave your soul behind?"

"The worm feeds from you."

Assuming that the first line of text is a genuine question coming from him and that he mentions Ghost Cow (the worm) as a way of trying to warn the player. The implication is that he's being possessed by Ghost Cow like the other monsters, which does add some tragedy. Still, not a whole lot to work with here.

That is until a certain chandelure created a fan story for him which was later made canon. That story being that he was once an average dude who worked at 7/11. He seemed to be a pretty good guy, but unfortunately life is often unfair to those who are innocent. His job didn't pay him one day, his health insurance ran out, and he was destined to die due to living in the hellhole that is America and its non-free health care environment.

He then essentially attempted suicide by buying a body bog, crawling into it, and I guess just sitting there until he died from starvation or thirst. This attempt would be unsuccessful as the body bog he bought turned out to be parasitic and paranormal in nature. Making his body decompose, stripping him of any autonomy, yet still keeping him alive. A fate worse than death.

Even when he was found and brought to Karamari Hospital, he could not scream for help. He could not move. He couldn't do anything. So nobody was able to help or save him before he was thrown down in the morgue with the rest of the corpses. Where he would lay dormant there before being used as a puppet by Ghost Cow years later.

Ignoring the obviously silly aspects of the story, it is pretty damn sad. To see someone suffer a fate even though they clearly didn't deserve it is always painful. The fact that his first course of action was to kill himself after realizing he was doomed once his health insurance ran out doesn't help matters and I wouldn't be surprised if something similar has happened in real life before.

Also the part where he can't scream for help once he arrives at the hospital? A specific fear of mine. That is fucked up and tragic. Although the silly parts of the story can undermine the horror and tragedy of it, I think the Body Bag deserves this place on the list.

11. Subject 5

You don't like starving do you? Of course you don't. Nobody does. It's uncomfortable, unpleasant, and when things get really bad? It's downright painful.

Now imagine starving daily and I mean 24/7. You try to eat and eat as much as you can, but it's never enough. It will never be enough. You're still hungry. You still feel empty. You're still in pain. Sounds like a living hell right? That's what Subject 5 has to go through. Subject 5's death screen is pretty easy to understand and tells us everything we need to know. While it was in its test tube, it dreamed of being free from it. It wanted to see what the outside world was like. It was a curious creature that hoped that one day it could learn more about its environment. But once it was free and broke out? It was no longer being fed food from its tube. So it began to starve... constantly.

Subject 5 is just an animal. A scared and confused animal in either a great amount of discomfort or pain. Its freedom turned out to be a curse as its constant hunger would never be satisfied now that it was free. This is probably why the creature stays in the mansion. In the mansion there is an infinite amount of rooms. Plenty of wood, stone, and other materials that it could snack on. Maybe not the best meal, but it's something. Because if it made it out into the wild? It would have starved to death either from not being able to find enough food or overeating its prey and leaving it in a foodless environment.

These creatures, as there are three of them, will never experience the joy of exploring the world they live in and they never will. They'll forever be stuck in the mansion. Constantly hungry and in misery.

All of that just from one single death screen. Jesus... I think we're starting to enter the "just downright depressing" territory...

10. Gel

Once a human who through unknown means encountered a strange green substance that took over their body. A note that was written by this victim goes into some detail.

"Spouting, Splashing, Soaking. Innards, Ingest, Invoking. Nailing, Never, Stops the Choking"

As described in this note and in its death screen, the Gel absorbs you into itself, which is a very painful and horrifying process. But it doesn't fully kill you by doing this. You're presumably still conscious and most likely in a great amount misery or pain while being trapped within in it. Another fate worse than death scenario here.

The real unnerving part is that it's implied that there are multiple people within Gel as it states "We are one but I am many...". The death quote is presumably coming not from one of the many victims within Gel, but the green substance, the actual specimen, itself. implying that it's sapient to some degree.

Around 100 people are in there. In a hivemind that they did not want to be apart of. Do they hear the voices of all the others? Can they even hear or speak while inside Gel? One of Gel's voice lines sounds like someone within it is trying to say "let me out!". It seems these people can try to call for help, but can't do anything besides that, as the slime they're trapped in is the main one in control.

Gel is an odd case as not much is known about him compared to other specimens, which does bring him down a bit. He still makes it pretty high on this list as the note and death quote does give us enough to work with and it is tragic and unnerving.

9. Deer Lord

Similar to Body Bag, Deer Lord originally was pretty cool but otherwise pretty unknown when it came to what his origins were. Luckily Lost in Vivo was released and explained some things.

He was once a young boy who lived in a poor and struggling family. His family could not find any good or affordable food, so out of desperation, they prayed and called out to Bayagototh. Bayagototh responded by giving them an infinite amount of trees made out of meat, but in exchange, took away the boy from his family. Later being turned into what he is now.

The boy was taken away from his family and had his humanity stripped away from him. The worst part? Some lines of text in his death screens in both the main game and Dollhouse show us what was going through the boy's mind while transforming into his current deer form. Perhaps implying that he still remembers his past humanity in one way or another.

"And I saw, from eyes that were not mine.

And I felt, with a fear I could not reason."

The boy waking up and being filled with fear upon realizing the body he woke up in is completely different.

"And as I slept, and as I grew.

Something stirred, both root and sinew.

I cannot eat, nor can I starve."

The boy getting used to his new body.

"A face on the great tree did I carve.

It spoke to me, it whispered things.

It demands more life, demands more rings."

The boy, now known as Deer Lord, grew to become a great asset in Bayagototh's eyes. Whispering things in the demigod's ear, wanting the him to bring them more victims that he absorbed into his torso. Making him their obedient and excellent servant.

That is all Deer Lord's existence comes to. Serving for some sort of demonic entity instead of being a kid who enjoys playing games or spending time with his family. Does make you question how much free will Deer Lord has exactly.

It also makes you question if Deer Lord even remembers his family. If he does, did he ever try going back to them? Or did he not try due to the fear of no longer being seen as a son to his parents and instead as a horrific monster? No answer to these questions, but it's still pretty sad to think about.

The only thing that could hold Deer Lord back a bit is that he does kill people. Or rather puts them in fate worse than death scenario. Although it is implied he only targets those with and/or a history of aggressive behavior. That and considering the last line in his death screen in Dollhouse, he may be killing others out of obligation more than anything. Doesn't exactly make it better, but there is some reasoning to it.

Either way, I think Deer Lord deserves his spot on this list.

8. The Old Man

What at first seems like some random psycho residing in Specimen 12, turns out to be a pretty depressing character in SJSM. One of the most indepth characters in the game in fact.

The notes in Specimen 12 tell us a story of a man who wandered into the paranormal structure; thinking it was a resting place. He unfortunately ends up falling into the paranormal mansion's schemes. Becoming delusional, paranoid, and soon to be violent. As he runs away and hides from the mansion's previous host, he then comes to the conclusion that he'll kill his stalker so that he can finally be safe and at peace.

He unknowingly doomed himself by doing this. Now he was the mansion's new host and became the exact thing that he was trying to run away from.

We get to know more about this man in Endless Mode. Originally a vlogger who wanted to explore the mansion for his urban exploration channel, only to find himself permanently stuck there. Which adds even more tragedy to his situation. Especially considering that he seemed to be a pretty chill and relaxed dude before we see how paranoid and scared he was in the notes we find in Specimen 12.

The Old Man is parallel to the protagonist. Both went to the mansion to fill their interests. Both wield weapons that they obtained from Deer Lord's forest. Both can end up turning into paranoid, mindless, ruthless monsters if they end up falling into their madness and delusion. The Old Man is a warning to the protagonist about what they could become. Considering that he was a vlogger that ran his own channel, the Old Man most likely wasn't always an old man. He was once a young man, just like what is implied to be the case with the protagonist. A dude who just wanted to share some urban exploration videos to the world because that was his passion. But now he's stuck in the mansion. A mansion within said mansion nonetheless. He has grown old, lost all of his free will, and has become a monster through no choice of his own.

It's awful to think about what his family and the fans of his channel must have felt when he suddenly disappeared one day. Even more awful to think that thousands of people have met a similar fate to him. Really reminds you of just how horrifying and sad it would be to be trapped within the mansion. Not even because of all the monsters that will be chasing and trying to kill you, but because of how much mental damage you would receive just from being in a situation like that. To the point that your mind will break altogether.

7. The Parasite

This is an interesting one. Because the tragedy doesn't exactly come from the specimen itself, but through other elements. Because the specimen itself is obviously downright malicious at worst or just an animal acting on instinct at best. Similar to Gel in a way.

There is one thing that the Parasite represents: Sheer and utter dread and hopelessness.

While in the old GL Labs, you read about an unfortunate GL Assistant who succumbed to this thing. Left in an abandoned facility, frantically trying tear off the parasite as it spreads over their body, all to no avail. There was no chance of escape the moment they came into contact with it. They only thing they could do was leave behind a note warning the next victim. You can't outrun the Parasite. You have to stay close to it.

That brings me to its chase theme. "Getting there", as some have described it, is downright dreadful, hopeless, and depressing. I would save this for a post where I talk about the soundtracks of SJSM, but I might as well talk about what comes to my mind when I hear this soundtrack to drive in my point.

This soundtrack is exactly what I would imagine when you take the word "hopeless" and put it into a track. I imagine this is what was going through the GL Assistant's head as their body was being taken over by the Parasite. Trying to scratch and claw the thing off, only hurting themselves in the process, and soon realizing that there really is no escape from this thing. Dropping to their knees and silently crying to themselves as they accept that there's nothing they can do.

Another thing I imagine is that this is what is going through the protagonist's head upon seeing the creature and having to keep away from it while keeping it close at the same time. A mix between disgust and fear of having to even look at the alien thing and sorrow for the worker who turned into that. They hate what they're looking at, they fear that they could succumb to the same dreadful fate that the assistant went through, but they have to keep it close. Otherwise? They're dead.

Finally, its death screen. Specifically what the binary code states which translates to this.

"You are more than just an animal.

Use the soul you've been given.

And be responsible for your actions."

This could represent 2 things. 1. This is the protagonists fading humanity trying to reach out to them. To no avail, as the Parasite has already taken full effect, thus it comes out in binary code that the protagonist can't understand. 2. This is the previous victim of the Parasite trying to reach out to you, again, to no avail for the same reasons I stated before. Both options are sad. This specimen is just fucked up really.

6 & 5. The Husks and Woormy Charles

I think it's easy to understand why these guys are so high on the list. They're literal children.

Not just that, but these poor kids were stripped of their afterlife, forced to inhabit small and lifeless dolls against their will, were treated terribly in unethical experimentation, punished through inflicted pressure to keep them "in check", and weren't even seen as people by the workers who kidnapped them. And when GL Labs didn't have a use for them anymore? They were just abandoned and left to rot in the Dollhouse.

Woormy Charles rubs some salt in the wound by his note informing us just how much the workers at GL Labs were assholes. He was summoned and kept in a doll, but he broke out of it due to trying to stretch in it and finding it to be too small for him. Instead of just leaving the guy alone or try to give him a bigger doll to inhabit, they just tried the same thing over and over again, leading to more discomfort and pain for Charles. Eventually they chose to lock him behind a steel door, not wanting to deal with him. Disgusting and sad shit.

To add some more tragedy to Charles, it's implied by his death screen, particularly the lines "From these small holes the tendrils of bone finally escape. You are finally free of this constricted bag of flesh." that Charles kills you out of wanting to help you. Making the misunderstanding that you're trapped within a small body just like him. Even in his pain and discomfort, he's a precious little guy who doesn't mind trying to help others, even if his "help" results in unintentional death.

Everything about the Husks and Woormy Charles is sad. Imagine being a child who died early in their life. That's already depressing and sad enough, but at the very least you get to have some peace in afterlife. An afterlife where these kids got to spend some time with their ancestors presumably. That is until suddenly you wake up one day and you're in a strange facility surrounded by people you don't recognize. You're back on Earth, but you're stuck as a helpless doll now. A doll that can and will be used like an object and nothing else.

The concept of having you're afterlife taken away is such a unique and horrifying concept that I'm honestly disappointed that the dlc didn't expand or address it more. These kids most likely already suffered enough from whatever caused their deaths and no longer being able to live with their still living family and now they have to suffer again.

4. Hooked Doll

Everything that I just said prior also applies to Hooked Doll. Although she may have had it even worse. As the quote from her death screen goes into depth about what she went through.

"A 'wicked nasty' child was thrown into a pit.

No food, light or water was ever given to it.

Punishment was dealt, without mercy or hesitation.

As if justified by faith, or ownership from creation.

It was no righteous act, it was hellish, demon sent.

Eventually all will find out, in eternal torment."

It's pretty clear that this is mentioning the Hooked Doll directly. She was punished by being thrown down into the root cellar where she had hooks inserted into her as punishment for being a "wicked nasty" child. With the ones abusing her having no hesitation or guilt about it as the dolls are not "real people".

This traumatized and caused severe pain to the girl and turned her into a dangerous being as a result. The fact that "wicked nasty" is in quotation marks in the original quote implies that she wasn't all that bad as the GL Labs workers thought. She was abused and traumatized for some petty shit most likely. Making it all the more worse. Just horrible.

3. The Hanged Man

This poor guy. He was originally a regular patient at Karamari Hospital and from what we learn from one of Dr. Hamada's notes, he suffered from depression. Something that became worse when he learned about his terminal disease and how he was destined to die.

Things would only become worse once Ghost Cow popped up in the hospital and started possessing the doctors and nurses. The man's antidepressants would be cancelled and he would later be given doses of hallucinogenics which worsened his depression even more and made him become constantly paranoid.

At some point he would end up in the secret laboratory where he most likely went through more pain and torment, through experimentation, before finally committing suicide. That wouldn't end his hell however. Not one bit.

Being the awful hellspawn he is, Ghost Cow did something petty. He just... didn't allow the man to die.

As implied by these two hidden quotes, not only is the man forced to be kept alive by Ghost Cow, but he's fully aware that he's being controlled too. Unfortunately being unable to do anything about it.

The quotes shown above even seem to suggest that the man takes part of self harm or self cannibalism; since Ghost Cow enjoys and feeds off the self inflicted pain and torture the man is doing to himself. Getting a kick out of the man not being able to die despite their attempts at doing so.

This makes the encounter you have with him in the secret laboratory all the more sadder. Like the other monsters, he's not even in control of his own actions. He most likely wouldn't have harmed the player at all if it weren't for Ghost Cow puppeteering him.

The Hanged Man tells the story of a guy who was already having it pretty horrible in life. He was going to die soon thanks to his disease after all. Although it doesn't exactly make things better, he at the very least would be able to achieve peace in death. That and maybe right before his death he would have those he cares dearly about surrounding and comforting him. People that he would never forget even after being trapped infinite loop of suffering. His family.

But he couldn't even have that. He couldn't even enjoy an eternal sleep. He couldn't catch a break. Instead he would be tormented and toyed with. Despite his desperate attempt at suicide, Ghost Cow just brought him back, so he could played around with over and over again. In eternal suffering. If that doesn't sound like a horrifying and depressing living hell, then I don't know what does.

The Hanged Man and the kids mentioned prior are very close to each other in terms of how tragic they are and could easily swap places depending on how you look at it. The Hanged Man gets put just slightly higher than them for me because at least the kids don't have the deal with a demonic entity controlling them, leading to uncontrollable self harm, all while being unable to end the agonizing pain.

2. Baby Face

One of the most bizarre creatures in the game. Yet at the same time one of the most tragic.

Doesn't seem like there's much to talk about on the surface, but there is a very fucked up realization you'll have when picking up one single but major clue. "Old Experiments" is the theme that plays in the secret laboratory in Karamari Hospital. It seems to be more or less associated with Baby Face specifically; as this theme is heard in its Endless Mode chase in the OG version of SJSM.

The title of the theme explains everything you need to know. Baby Face was once an infant who was horrifically experimented on by Ghost Cow. Even if we don't know what experiments the infant went through, let alone how the end of those experiments resulted in the creation of that floating head in a cube thing; we do know that it most likely wasn't pretty or quick.

This is Ghost Cow we're talking about. The same monster who possessed staff and made them kill their patients, tortured a victim of depression, and did all of that with a grin on his face.

An infant. Not even a child. A literal infant who possibly couldn't even walk or talk ended up in the hands of that thing. The thought of it alone and what Ghost Cow could have did in those experiments is incredibly disturbing.

Yet it's still alive as seen ingame... presumably. Rotting down in a basement. Crying and wailing, most likely in pain and misery, to parents that it will never be able to hold it ever again.

1. Taker

TW: Mentions and descriptions of murder, torture, and rape. This is real life stuff we're going to be talking about here and what happened all those years ago was beyond awful. Just a heads up. Similar to how nobody was surprised at seeing Ghost Cow at the bottom of the list, I'm sure nobody is surprised that Taker is at the very top of this list. For some very good reasons.

Through an easter egg, the game pretty much tells you exactly what Taker's deal is.

Unit 731, directed by Shirō Ishii, and where the most horrific, awful, and downright disgusting war crimes you could imagine were committed during WW2. Unit 731 and the other unit locations associated with it have committed all of, but not limited to, the listed atrocities such as...

Use of biological and chemical warfare. Such as the use of rats and fleas infected with diseases which then were spread over Chinese cities (and they were even planning to attack the west coast of the United States with this warfare). Killing thousands. Contaminated food would be developed and used as well.

Victims ranging from the usual man and woman, to literal children, babies, and pregnant woman, were all subjected to the confined walls and cells of Unit 731 and the experiments within it. Where they either faced death or were in a great amount of pain and misery afterwards. Some children in question even grew up and spent most of their lives inside Unit 731, infected with diseases. And when they did die and had no use anymore? Their corpses were incinerated.

Speaking of those experiments, they included things like dangerous or lethal injections, dehydration, starvation, the draining of blood, standard and biological weapons testing, pressure chambers, gas chambers, crushing, burning, electrocution, injection of animal blood or seawater, spinning until death, organ harvesting, removal and reattachment of limbs, and vivisection.

Whenever victims were vivisected, they were not under any anesthetic. So when they were cut open? They felt every bit of it.

Frostbite experiments where victims were taken outside in cold weather and had their limbs frozen from being dipped in water. Ice was chipped away afterwards so the area could be further studied. Sometimes victims would just be thrown out naked in the cold until they died.

Forcing victims into having sex with each other so diseases could be transmitted. Said victims were later vivisected after infection.

Rape was common to force female victims to become pregnant. Children of these rape victims were presumably killed after birth or aborted. Once again to test how diseases like syphilis worked. Even then, rape would usually be committed for no real purpose by the staff other than being bored and having time to kill.

After WW2 ended, the "people" behind these experiments tried to cover their tracks by getting rid of all of their victims and any other evidence. These prisoners were killed either through injection, poisoned food, gas, guns, or being given the option of suicide. Thus there were no survivors and around 14,000 people were killed. Most likely a bit more if we take account of the other unit facilities.

Their prisoners were completely dehumanized. Often being referred to as "logs" and even the facilities they were trapped in were called "log cabins". Originating from a morbid joke among staff due to the cover up story for Unit 731 being a regular lumber mill. Doesn't help that they were also referred to as nothing more than "monkeys" in some of the journals of the "researchers" there.

Even the staff working at these facilities weren't safe. Sometimes they would get sick with the diseases they were trying to experiment with. When that happened? It was off to the operating table where they would be cut open, with no anesthetic, and would experience excruciating pain before dying just like everyone else. The people working in these facilities truly were uncaring, sadistic, and downright demonic, even to their coworkers.

Completely nightmare fuel inducing shit, as you can see. This gives a lot of tragic depth to Taker.

Firstly, the fact that Taker was once a regular human being who even had to go through that horrific shit at all. Being locked in a small cell, being dehumanized, hearing the screams of others, being deprived of food and water, most likely going through severe depression, experiencing agonizing pain before dying through experimentation, ect. Only to become the odd clay being that he currently is now afterwards. Now far removed from being human anymore.

Secondly, the fact that Taker wouldn't even be able to have some peace and quiet after he escaped from Unit 731. He had ran all the way to Russia and was "hiding", as CAT-DOS puts it, inside an abandoned farmhouse. Presumably, he was hiding himself away from the world and wanted to be left completely alone. Most likely just wanting to have some kind of peace after all the trauma he experienced. But he couldn't even have that thanks to GL Labs. The most awful thing about his capture from GL Labs was that he was basically going through the same thing again. He had been taken from what he most likely viewed as his home, again. He was put into a science facility where he had little freedom and was under the control of the scientists working there, again. And he would be killed (at least temporarily) when he no longer had any use to the ones trying to control him, again.

Even if GL Labs isn't as disgustingly atrocious as Unit 731, it still is pretty fucking bad (remember the dolls?). One could only imagine the amount of PTSD or burning rage Taker felt once he realized he had ended up in the same position twice.

This is most likely why Taker was very hard to contain for GL Labs to the point where they temporarily killed him altogether. He really didn't want to be there and made multiple attempts at escape.

This brings me to my final point about Taker. What is his motive exactly? Well, he just wants to be human again. Or at least something close to one. He stalks the player the moment they go through the first door. Waiting for the moment where he can "take" them. He wants to "take the dead to take the dead...", as in he wants to take dead bodies so he can take more dead bodies. The final result being having his human body and powers back. So that way he can escape the mansion for good.

At the end of the game, Taker isn't able to succeed in his plan of taking the player, but he does find enough mass from corpses that we can see him absorbing before the start of his boss fight. He can finally try to make his escape, once he deals with and finishes off the pest in front of him.

He unfortunately never achieves such a thing though. Dying in all of the endings. At the very least, the good ending of the Dollhouse DLC implies that he can finally rest in peace. Still, everything I have stated prior about Taker is heartbreaking.

With that wrapped up, I do want to mention 3 more things about Unit 731. Part because I just think they're interesting and part because I think they add all the more to the tragedy behind Taker

1. Unit 731 was ultimately pointless

Whenever Unit 731 is brought up, some people like to point out that "yeah everything that went down there was horrible, but the science we gained is very important!" This is not true.

Frostbite or the "humans are made up of 60-70% water" thing is brought up for example, but it's generally agreed that a lot of the "science" and "research" done by Unit 731 was useless and unprofessional. The unit simply lacked adequate scientific and engineering foundations.

This most likely has to do with Unit 731 focusing mostly on bioweapons and chemical research that they could use for warfare than any real "science". Though it also has to do with a lot of the "research" at Unit 731 being done out of curiosity/sadism. A professor who watched footage of the experiments done at Unit 731 noted that "What medical purpose was served by performing and studying beheadings? None at all. That was just playing around. Professional people, too, like to play."

Was there maybe some findings from Unit 731 that were useful? Yes, but the large majority of it was either useless or could have been found out through more ethical means. Even the humans being made up of a specific percentage of water thing that people point to as being something that Unit 731 specifically discovered, has conflicting sources with how we found that out if you just do one simple Google search and some scrolling.

No matter how much you try to sugarcoat it, Unit 731 was just torture for the sake of torture. Nothing more. Those people died for nothing.

2. The war criminals behind these experiments were let go and didn't suffer any consequences

"Surely these researchers suffered some kind of punishment for what they did right?" Is what most would think upon hearing about Unit 731 at first. It seemed like that was going to be the case at first, but nope. The demented pricks were granted immunity by the government of the United States. Why? Because they wanted their oh so useful research of course!

These guys, including Shirō Ishii who was behind the whole thing, then went on to live pretty regular lives. Some however continued to perform unethical and atrocious human experiments, even receiving some secret funding from the U.S. government. A whole entire pound of salt dumped on the wide open wound there.

3. Japan's government has yet to apologize for or acknowledge Unit 731

Unit 731 and all of the other war crimes from Imperial Japan were, and still are, being treated as if they don't exist. Even when they are acknowledged in history books for example, they are very sugar coated and many details are left out.

It wasn't until 2002 when one of Japan's district courts acknowledged that, yes, Japan has done some very bad stuff in terms of Unit 731 and biological warfare. Since then though? Barely anything, if not, straight up nothing.

This is extremely bad for a simple reason. Why do history classes exist and why are they so important? So we don't repeat past mistakes and learn from those before our time who were much more flawed. What happens when history classes don't acknowledge an important part of history, or worse, sugarcoat or give misinformation about it? Mistakes are going to be repeated, people won't learn, and this will most likely create a snowball effect that will just get worse as time goes on.

The citizens of Japan either know very little or nothing at all about all of the horrible things Imperial Japan did during WW2. Instead of learning about these things and how they could not repeat them in the future; Japan's Government instead wants to put the idea of their country being heroic or being an unfortunate victim of WW2 (the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki for example) into the head of their citizens. No fault of the citizens of course, but it is absurd.

Japan wants to forget about its history and make others in the process also forget about it. The sad part? It's working. Not just with their citizens, but in general. If you go up to the average joe schmoe and ask them about Nazi Germany or the Holocaust they'll most likely go "Oh yeah! I know about them!". Ask them about Imperial Japan or Unit 731 however and you'll most likely be met with silent confusion.

It's interesting yet confusing. You would think Imperial Japan would talked about just as much as Nazi Germany or the Soviet Union when being used as an example of evil and what not to do, yet it seems like it's barely talked about. Even stranger how Japan is often idolized nowadays (to weird degrees) compared to Germany or Russia.

Everything about this is just fucked up, disgusting, and honestly frustrating. Past, present, future, it doesn't matter. It's just horrible.

Apologies for all the history talk, but I really wanted to drive in the point and make it clear on why Taker is at the very top of this list. Unlike all the specimens listed prior, who have tragic backstories, but said backstories are fictional, Taker's origins are based on real events. Real and awful events that to this day have an effect on this world.

Taker shows us how truly horrifying the world we live in can be. Sure, we don't live in a world with ghosts, strange monsters, or aliens looking to terrorize us; but we do live in a world with murderers, psychos, weirdos, and all the other deranged and creepy people you can think of that have some oddities going on in their mind.

Where are all the monsters in our world? They're all around you.

Conclusion

So um... yeah this took awhile lmao

I mean, I knew this would take awhile but damn.

I'm glad that I took my time with this though. This whole project was tiring at times but was still very fun! I'm glad with how this turned out. For now, I'm pretty satisfied with this ranking/tier list.

As for closing thoughts? Well, I will say this. A question that popped into my head while writing out all of this was "Y'know... what makes the specimens so likeable or unique compared to some other antagonists in horror media?". I'm sure many people will have many different answers to that question. For me personally, now that I'm done with this, I would say a factor that makes them likeable and interesting is this.

Often times in horror media the monster/monsters either have nothing explained about them or have a lot explanations and depth to them. If executed right, either option can be great and lead to interesting results. There's something that feels a bit different about the specimens though. They hit this middle ground that feels just right for me and makes them unique in my eyes.

Some information is given about the majority of the specimens in the form of CAT-DOS or notes, but the information given is just the right amount. You may know a few things about a certain specimen that make them stand out to you, but if you dig deeper and analyze the little details, you will come out looking at the specimen a bit differently. You can pinpoint and theorize certain things like what their motives are or why they behave in a certain way. Sometimes, you will view something about that specimen in a different way compared to others.

This is what make theorizing and analyzing these characters (and honestly just this game in general) so fun. Kira gave us some stuff that are made out to be pretty clear, but also some stuff that can be analyzed further or are interpretive by design. The universe of SJSM is like a sandbox. A good chunk of headcanons or theories can be made within it, but the sandbox isn't too big or deep to the point where it feels overwhelming or not fun like FNaF for example.

The specimens are interesting in that the game gives them character without explicitly giving them character... if that makes sense. It's this perfect middle ground between not knowing too much but not knowing too little either.

I don't know. I may just be yapping at this point lol. But I think it's interesting.

Anyways, thank you for reading! For my followers, I have a very small but important announcement that I'll be posting tomorrow, so stay on the lookout for that. Have a snazzy day peeps!

[fairykazu]

letters to her ft. kazuha

cws: established relationship, f! reader (referred as lady, princess, etc), third person, making up lore to fit the story, princess bride ref

masterlist

kazuha stood tall amidst the warmer breeze that inazuma had to shoulder for the spring, every cherry blossom tree was in bloom, the pink petals falling to the ground. he pocketed one petal for her as his long, white hair dancing like ribbons of silk in the gentle winds. red eyes scanning the horizon as he was searching for a glimpse of the one who held his heart captive.

just before leaving to inazuma last night, he had written her another letter, his heart pouring out onto the parchment paper as if it was the lighting storm that showers over the islands, blessed by the electro archon herself. he wrote carefully as the ink stained his fingers; words blurred together as his vision began to blur with tears. unspoken words he'd never said out loud.

as he was traveling by boat to the city, the memory of their first meeting came flooding back, he remembered it as if it was yesterday. he was left, stranded, in the harsh wilderness of the islands, abandoned to care for himself.

thankfully, a woman had taken him in out of pity. although kazuha wasn't the type to believe in the archons like he used to, he thanked them above for blessing his eyes with her. her beautiful, sparkling eyes and her dimples when she smiled. she was truly someone who was as beautiful as the ocean waves when they crash on the shore. he had fallen to her charms quicker than the first snowflake that danced in the winter.

he remembered how kind she was as she poured him some jasmine tea. her delicate hands made him feel safe. even then, in his heart, he had known that she was the one. the one who would make all his pain and suffering worth it.

once he arrived on the dock of the city, it had been a long time since he saw her. years had passed since, but their love for each other had only grown stronger. they exchanged countless letters, sharing their deepest desires and fears. promises were made, vowing to be together soon. kazuha took out a letter from his pocket, unfolding it. clutching it close to his chest, the scent of her perfume lingered on the paper, taunting him with the memory of her.

closing his eyes, he allowed himself to be consumed by the moments of their time together, reliving each memory as if it were happening all at once.

he chuckled silently to himself as he remembered the way she would laugh, how her eyes would sparkle when she smiled, nights they spent together, whispering secrets and sharing dreams beneath the starlit sky.

like how the archon mythology had said when people were originally had four arms, four legs and two heads, but when the archons had a war, it eventually split the people into beings with two arms, two legs and one head, doomed or blessed them with their other half wandering the world.

maybe, she was his other half, and he was fated to be hers forevermore.

his heart started to race once he arrived at her estate, hoping that he would be embraced by her arms once again. pink blossoms waltzed in the wind around him, the scent of love in the air. the grand mansion loomed before him, its towers reaching towards the celestials.

the door was guarded with two knights, clad in their bright armor, holding onto their polearms as if their life depended on it. he took a deep breath, steeling himself for what was to come. one of them asked the ivory haired samurari,

"state your business."

"i am here to see the lady." kazuha replied, staying calm despite the broody knights staring daggers into his soul. he smiled politely as one of them raised a brow,

"the lady? don't be silly, young man. everyone in the world wants to see the lady. please show me how you know her."

kazuha didn't expect the security to increase when he was gone. he handed the letter he recieved from you recently to the broody knight number one.

broody knight number one laughed in kazuha's face, the saliva sticking to his face. he grabbed a tissue, wiping his face. "young man, don't make me laugh!” loud, booming fits of laughter came from both knights. “this is no way the lady's handwriting." he squinted, passing it to the second broody knight.

"i agree. this must be a bootleg version. nice try, kid." kazuha tried to take back the letter but the knight only had ripped it up in front of him, his eyes grew to saucers, watching the parchment become one with the pink flowers. as kazuha was about to unsheathe his sword, a little man, dressed in all black, presumably the butler, creaked open the doors. he waddled to one of the knights, whispering something.

as the laughter took a full stop, a moment of silence increased the tension. the knights' facade of being proud dropped completely, laughing nervously. "my apologies, sir kaedehara, we weren't aware of your business with the lady."

he retorted back, "you would've if you read the contents of the letter." the knight opened the door wide open, making the brass knockers clink against the wooden door.

as the doors were still open, kazuha sauntered his way into the mansion; it revealed a grand hall adorned with tapestries and different styled paintings of your family. kazuha could feel the weight of the knights' daggered gaze upon his head again, he chuckled nervously, forgetting that he made a remark towards their intergity.

most definitely, deserved though.

he made his way towards the staircase that led to the upper levels of her estate.

as he ascended up on the marble stairs, the tension in the air grew more cruel, colder. it was as if the whole world was holding their breath, waiting for him to arrive; it made him realize that he was holding his breath too.

he made himself relax as he paused for a moment on the top of the stairs, taking in the surroundings around him. from the lavish furnishings to countless, new portraits framed in gold, each single one served as a painful reminder of his time apart from you.

he was familiar with the hallways, turning a left, reaching her chamber. his heart was pounding in his chest, taking a deep breath just before he steadied himself. he knocked on the door, "my lady, are you there?"

a moment of silence came before a click of the latch replied to kazuha's question. the door swung open, revealing his lady in front of him. she was more beautiful than he ever remembered, even if he attempted to remember her appearance, engraved in his mind. it couldn't compare to reality

. her eyes lit up like sparkles in the night sky, "hello, my knight, how are you? how was your journey?" she said with grace, upholding the reputation she has across many towns. her voice was soft and sweet just like how he remembered.

taking her delicate hands into his calloused ones, he kissed her knuckles, "it was beautiful despite the harshness of the weather." your face shifted uncomfortably. "don't worry, princess, i wasn't hurt badly. in fact," from his bag, he grabbed a single rainbow rose he saved just for her. "i have this flower for you. it reminded me of you."

she smiled, her teeth shining brightly, "thank you, my knight. care to come in?"

kazuha nodded. the door behind him shut closed. she took a deep breath, taking a step forward, her facade as a perfect lady crumbled before him. her hand trembled, reaching out to his cheek, "kazuha," she whispered, her voice hoarse with emotion. "you've come back to me." tears began to form, creating little pearls at her eyes.

"i promised that i would." kazuha replied, gently comforting her as she pulled him into a tight embrace, clinging to him as if she might never let go. he wrapped his arms around her, burying his face in her neck, breathing in her familiar scent.

it was the scent of home, of love, of everything that had maintained him during the years they had been apart. kazuha departed from her embrace. he lit the fireplace as it crackled and cackled. he returned to the nook of the bedroom. he carried her to the loveseat, sitting next to her. she gazed into her lover's eyes,

she sniffled, "kazuha, i adore you. although sometimes i wonder if i'd be enough for you?" her snot running down her nose, he quickly retrieved a tissue, wiping the snot from her face.

"you know, i'll always come back to you, princess," he said softly, brushing a lock of hair from her face. "no matter where I go or what I do, you'll always be the star that guides me home."

she smiled through her tears; her face began to light up. "and you, kazuha, my love, you're the only one who can make this place feel like home." she leaned into him, her body warm and familiar against his. "stay with me, won't you?"

he returned her smile, sweetly, wiping a single tear off her face, "of course, my lady, i wouldn't want to be anywhere else but with you." he pressed a kiss to her head, humming a tune.

she nodded, sniffling, wiping her nose with the tissue kazuha gave her. "thank you, my knight." she rested her head against his shoulder, her breath warm against his neck. "i've missed your stories about your adventures; do tell me, what have you been up to since you left?"

"as you wish, my lady."

[tanoraqui]

For the record: at the start of 2024, I had 3 WIPs that had each been 2/3 - 3/4 finished for at least a year - though each was a totally different length of fic. They were all delayed mostly because they were all fics where I knew I'd need to bring my A-game in order to fulfill the vision in my head. So I made a resolution to finish them that year...

And I DID.

In Which Space Orcs are Men, 4.4k, Silmarillion/tumblr-based scifi mini-genre. I fucking NAILED this balance of scifi worldbuilding and Silmarillion easter eggs in this fic, and the way the 'humans are space orcs' genre blends so well with Tolkien on the theme of unexpected hope and love in the vast darkness. My writing was lovely. You can read it as a Tolkien nerd or just a normal nerd. So many people have said it made them cry. Game: A+

Justice of the Noldor, 8.6k, Silmarillion. THE epic battle to end all epic battles (of the First Age, and all ages until Dagor Dagorath). I did good on the poetic language and keeping the extended action sequence interesting, and giving assorted characters spotlight moments, and the whole general vibe of fate in the process of culmination. There's a thing or two I'm not 100% satisfied with, but overall A-game BROUGHT.

The Rise and Fall of Empires, 34.4k, Silmarillion/LotR (how does one classify the Second Age...). AU where Annatar decides to be slightly less evil and he stays in Eregion and marries Celebrimbor and they end up destroying Númenor anyway because maybe Númenor deserved it by then, my beloved. Admittedly, this one wavered between "gotta bring my A-game" and "this is a fun and silly AU; it's FINE if it's not perfect", and that...shows. I think I got too in the weeds on the social/economic/geopolitical details of teeing Númenor up for destruction, and Celebrimbor has an awkward half-done character arc... But I am my own worst critic; it is overall both fun and well-written, I hit the tone I was aiming for, I think I did the heist-style structure pretty well, and I finished and posted it on schedule! B or B+ on a curve against What Could Be, especially in this fandom full of superb writing, but no one else had written it so...A- game.

FANFIC RESOLUTION FOR 2025: Return to, perhaps even finish, In Heart, aka AU where Fëanor decides that the Doom of Mandos is clearly just the Valar trying to mess with his head, so instead of "fear of treason" he is to [grits his teeth] trust his unwanted half-siblings...and everything kinda spirals out from there. It's currently ~25k at 5 chapters, and I have...realistically I bet ~50k to go. I have such a good ending in mind. I just have to (have the characters) earn it.

[doberbutts]

Who would you say is your favorite unpopular LOTR character? Personally, mine is Beorn! I would also like to be able to change into a bear and live alone in the woods with a bunch of animals.

My favorite lotr character, period, is Smeagol. My whole deal is angsty bad boys with tragic backstories and yes Smeagol is very silly and very fucked up but at the end of the day, does that not describe him to his very being? Less "I could fix him" more "you poor thing". It was pity that stayed Bilbo's hand etc etc and with him being a constant reminder to Frodo and Sam that they are looking directly at their fate because it's not a matter of if the Ring will turn them into him, but when. They've already seen it in each other, and in Bilbo. Sam reacts with anger and scorn. Frodo reacts with pity and compassion. Neither are wholly right nor wrong- Smeagol mutters to himself constantly about killing them in their sleep and has attempted to kill them more than once, but he's also their only ticket into Mordor and in the end his presence at Mount Doom technically helped get the job done when Frodo failed at the last second.

Smeagol was just like them. And then he came into contact with something completely and totally evil, through no fault of his own, and it ripped him apart from the inside. There's very little of the man (hobbit) he used to be left within him centuries later. And it wasn't his fault. He wasn't looking for the Ring. He and his cousin just found it by accident. A seemingly harmless plain golden band. They'd probably found hundreds of similar trinkets playing in the river as kids. Why should this one be any different?

Except it was. And it had no mercy for him. And it twisted him into something almost completely unrecognizable. And when he is recognized, by people who are not very different to what he used to be, they immediately react with disgust and rejection and fear, because holy hell, you mean this thing can turn us into that???

[fluffyenergee]

Maybe not something really related to the alphabet, but how does the mercs react to the classic "The tickle monster is gonna getcha!" And overally being chased with wiggly fingers :3c

Yes, I love such asks too :333 Let's go:

Scoutie Pie (god he's cute): "Bro, you s-serious?". He thinks this is so childlish and so stupid but guess what? No matter what he just can't stop himself from reacting because eventually when he sees the ler is not stopping and, oh no, is actually going to tickle him he bolts away while giggling in such a flustered way because he can't believe this is actually happening. But hey, he is ticklish. And this is a tickle monster so there's only one possible resolution. Run.

Soolder: Takes this way too seriously. Or maybe not, considering he's basically fighting for his life. Yells that he will never surrender to the tickle monster and will, in fact, fight using "American power and glory". Or something like that. If he resorts to running he will also be screaming like he's about to die if he gets caught. He's definitely commiting, you can't take that away from him.

Firebug: Oh, Pyro's delighted, as soon as he realizes what's happening he does that happy wiggle and claps his hands. He will play along but without much effort to escape. Quite the opposite, he might try attacking his ler instead, very very playfully, of course. Once he's caught he's just wriggling and giggling happily, accepting his fate.

Demomyman: He crumbles straight to the floor, probably too drunk to even act like he hates it or try to run. He will however try to cover himself and beg to be spared, while absolutely unable to stop laughing giddily. He might try to move away while he's on the floor, moving backwards, but guess what? Then his back hits a wall and he's doomed.

Hoovy: He's amused. A tickle monster, really? You dare put on this act with big, strong Heavy? So he's fairly sure of his position at first. But let's not forget, not only is he not that fast but most importantly he's ticklish. So the chase shouldn't be hard, nor the tickling and there is a lot of skin to tickle (me when Heavy tummy: AAAAAAAAAH). Unless he picks up the ler or otherwise uses his strenght on them. Then uh oh.

Howdy the Engineer's in the field: Flustered as hell but tries to act calm. Because, really? Not only is the ler planning to tickle him but also putting on this whole silly act? Eleven PhD's, building killing machines on a regular basis, stupidly-high IQ him? He doesn't run at first but he does very much try to get away. Then he runs when everything else fails. He'd going to die from embarassement, spare the man (do not actually).

Doktor: My guy plays along fully. He talks to the person per "tickle monster" and is stuck in that loop of loving the playfulness and anticipation but also wanting to give in to the tickles then and there. He will run away while laughing the entire time, and he is so so giddy the entire time - "Ahh, nein, Herr Tickle Monster, I'm just a poor, ticklish doctor!". Very silly.

Snooper: Immediately panicks but also tries to stay calm. Maybe if he doesn't react the "tickle monster" will go away. His eyes however stay glued to that person and he's miliseconds from bolting the heck out of there. Eventually the anticipation gets to him because yes, it's so stupid, but he also knows what will happen if he does nothing. He's running and still protesting, cursing the world that he can't cover his face with hit hat since he needs his eyes for his great escape but his cheeks are so red.

Spyder: He refuses to react. This is so childlish he won't even grace that with a reaction. ...At first. He will try not to look, but seeing those wiggling fingers, hearing those teases is getting to him and he's getting flustered. He's shifting in his seat. His eyes are shifting to the ler who, oh no, is actually getting closer to him. Eventually he does panic and quickly cloaks himself. But hey, let's not forget that cloak of his in not that long ;).

Professional killers? More like professional tickle victims

[hufflegruff]

Chapter 4: A Knowing Look

Pairing: Sebastian x F!Reader Summary: In which Sebastian is whipped and literally everyone can see from a mile away that this is more than friendship.

“Is that… a mistletoe?” “It… must be Anne’s doing.” Was all Sebastian could say, rather lamely. He was ready to laugh it off. Tell her that it was just a silly little old thing. But to his surprise, she replied almost matter-of-factly: “… Supposedly if we don’t kiss, we’d be doomed to 100 years of misfortune.” Almost cautiously, he replied, “We wouldn’t want that.” “Not at all,” She said as she nodded.

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Chapter 4: Anne

Winter fell upon Feldcroft. Snow descended upon the Sallows’ home in soft billowy mounds.  

Sebastian had never really understood the appeal of Christmas. It was always too cold, too dark and too stifling to just stay at home. Under Solomon’s roof, he never let himself feel too comfortable. Not even the guise of mulled cider, plum pudding and ornately decorated pine trees could make him put his guard down. He much preferred the freedom of Hogwarts endless hallways. If not for Anne - well, he frankly wouldn’t have bothered to make the trip over. There was little joy to reap or use to gain from seeing Solomon’s irritable face.  

But despite Solomon’s numerous shortcomings, he allowed him to invite both of his best friends over for Christmas. And for that, he was grateful.

Glancing over to the kitchen, he couldn’t help but soften and break into a smile at the sight. Under the glow of the dim candlelight, Ominis and Anne were chatting merrily. 

Ominis normally looked so stoic, like an old man that held the entire weight of the wizarding world in the crease of his brow. That was the blight of the Gaunt family name. But as he sat listening to Anne, who was animatedly retelling one of her classic tales of misadventure, his expression was as light as a feather. Even with his perfectly pressed shirt and impeccably neat cardigan, it was such a relief to see that he could look like an ordinary teenage boy. 

And Anne… Well, Anne had her good days and bad days. Thankfully, today was one of her better ones. She’d been particularly energetic as of late. Despite Sebastian’s protests, she went out of her way to decorate the cottage with wreaths, tinsel and candles galore. Insisting that guests should not be subjected to Christmas in a house so bare.

He hadn’t seen either of them look so content in a while. Not since they were just three kids scheming mischief in the Undercroft. Not since they’ve become three weary people weathered by fate’s hand. 

The normalcy of it all gave him newfound hope. One that felt different from the kind of hope had him hunting ancient relics, ravaging the restricted section, and burning dark wizards ever since Anne got hurt.

This one was softer. Much quieter and warmer. 

Just for today, he would graciously allow himself not to worry. Not of curses or cures or hidden scriptoriums. Just Christmas. Just family and friends.

Anne’s voice broke him out of reverie, “Sebastian! What are you daydreaming about? Come here!” She beckoned him over with a wave of her hand.

“Probably best not to know,” Ominis said, “likely something despicable or unlawful.”

“Funny.” Sebastian said dryly, as he made his way over to them, “Utterly hilarious.”

“I am rather, aren’t I?” Ominis replied cheekily.

“If slander is your particular brand of humour.”

“Forget presents,” Ominis’ voice was laced with sarcasm, “Your endless wit is the greatest gift you could ever afford me.”

Sebastian rolled his eyes. The mouth on this one.

Sebastian looked around the room and noticed that there was one person sorely missing. Their absurdly lovely (it’s all still very complicated) friend. After the whole Andrew Larson ordeal, he conceded that it was possible that this whole friendship thing… could potentially be more than a friendship thing. 

It was a crush - a flight of fancy. On someone who just happened to be a beautiful, smart and wickedly talented friend.

That was the only way that Sebastian could rationalise it. Crushes were perfectly normal and frivolously fleeting. Calling her a softness, or a fancy or even the object of his affection was all still manageable. It was better than the alternative. Because if he were to start calling it anything more than that… 

Well, that could be perilous.

Love had consequences, and Sebastian wasn’t sure if he was ready to face them.

The girl wonder had also been staying with them in Feldcroft these past two days. Sebastian had only been back at Feldcroft for two days and Anne had already been making terribly sly remarks his way. How could she have known? Had she and Ominis been exchanging letters behind his back?

He supposed that practically half of Hogwarts had already accused him of being infatuated with the girl wonder. But in fairness, the prying eyes of the student body had been privy of his relationship with her for the better half of two years. It made him wonder if he was being so obvious that perhaps even Solomon could sense it too.

That would be mortifying. 

And honestly, after the emotional whirlwind he’d already been on — Sebastian didn’t know how it could get any worse.

He cleared his throat, “Anyways, where’s the girl wonder gone to now?”

Anne shot him a mischievous look that Sebastian knew meant trouble. It was too devilish and deliberate to ignore, and it felt like Anne could see right through him. What was she plotting? Sebastian raised a curious eyebrow in response. 

Anne replied with a shrug, “She’s just gone to the room to grab something.”

And as if it had been planned meticulously ahead of time — the door creaked open and the sound of her footsteps approached.

He turned around and almost made an ungodly sound at the sight. A wrangled, pained sound that he was frankly quite embarrassed to acknowledge. Because this — whatever this was — was something he hadn’t been expecting. 

“Is that my sweater?” Sebastian swallowed thickly.

The girl walked out of the bed chambers in an old green knit sweater with a small embroidered flower on the left corner that looked all too familiar. There was nothing spectacular about it, but Sebastian knew without a sliver of doubt that it was his sweater that hung a little too loosely on her shoulders. Because as most nine year old boys did with their clothes, he had bought it dismissively when he was in Diagon Alley, and wore it to death in his youth. It had been chucked carelessly across fields, caves, bodies of water all across Feldcroft. It was tattered, frayed and looked worse for wear from his haphazard use.

So how in Salazar’s name did it manage to look so damn good on her?

There was nothing precious about it. 

But it was his. And she was wearing it. 

Sebastian was of two minds about it all. He couldn’t quite decide it himself — was this a gift or divine punishment from the Gods? Where had she even found the old blasted thing and was she actively trying to kill him? The niggling urge to touch her was stronger than he had ever felt before. His self-restraint was melting with every second longer his eyes lingered on her. The only thing that was holding him back from holding on to her (and never letting go) was the ridicule he’d most definitely receive from Ominis and Anne.

To his dismay, to the deep sickly pit in the bottom of his stomach — this was very likely something that would be permanently etched into his mind. There was something primal inside the diabolical crevices of his brain that just couldn’t unsee it. Some unhinged line of thinking that his brain managed to conjure up to justify it all. That if she looked this perfectly right in his clothes, he could believe that there was a universe in which she could be his.

That if people could be owned (he knew they couldn’t) — she would be rightfully his.

“Oh, I figured you wouldn't mind,” Anne said, “She was feeling a little chilly, so I gave her one of your old sweaters. You hardly wear it now anyways.”

Almost nervously, the girl wonder gave a small twirl, “Well, it doesn’t look silly on me does it?”

Silly? Sebastian thought. It was a little silly. 

It was silly that the sight of her in his old, worn and beaten sweater that he’d worn to death, made his heart scream out of his chest. How was it possible that she could even make scraps of wool look so bewitching?

It was as if being the wielder of a rare form of ancient magic hadn’t sufficed her hunger for power. It was as if she went out of her way to contrive her very own beguiling brand of magic that would render him a total fucking dunce. How else could Sebastian explain the prickling in his fingertips to reach out to her? Or the compulsion in his chest to bury his face in the crook of her neck? And that stupid sweater must’ve smelled like him. Years and years of him. By that logic — because she was wearing it — that must mean she now smelled like him too.

And the thought of that was almost too thrilling for his chest to handle. 

Merlin. All this overthinking was a testament to the steely grip this witch had on his heart.

Despite his inner turmoil, he just about managed to choke out a response.

“Not at all. It suits you.” 

It more than suited her. In fact if she never wanted to take it off — he’d gladly allow it.

Ominis gave him a pointed look. Anne smiled knowingly. Sebastian wanted to hide. He felt as if his innermost feelings were being paraded on display. Like his internal organs and his blathering heart had been sprawled across the dinner table for everyone to witness. The only person that didn’t seem amused or even remotely aware of his pining was her. She looked at him so sincerely that it was almost distressing. Delightfully doe-eyed, she smiled brightly at his compliment. 

It was so fucking endearing that he had to look away. Any longer and would probably combust on the spot into a fan of pitiful flames. Or collapse from this corny infatuation-induced arrhythmia his heart was suffering from. So he turned to look at Anne scathingly instead. 

“But thanks for asking before you raided my closet, Anne.” Sebastian said chidingly.

Anne smiled mysteriously, ignoring his accusatory tone all together.

“I was being a courteous host is all.” She said innocently.

Sometimes Sebastian forgot how conniving his sister could truly be. He couldn’t decide whether he was annoyed or proud of her shenanigans. 

The girl wonder, sensing something off in Sebastian’s tone, interjected, “Anne was just trying to help. But I can put on something else if you’d prefer—”

“No.” Sebastian said firmly, “You don’t have to. I don’t mind.”

From afar, he heard Ominis snicker.

Ominis was likely calling Sebastian all sorts of embarrassingly belittling names in his head. But that seemed unfair. How was Sebastian supposed to tell her that he would in fact mind it very, very much if she took off his sweater — without sounding like an utter fool? 

“Thank you.” She said with a smile and his heart was beside itself.

In fairness, he supposed that Ominis had been right about one thing. 

Sebastian was a fucking sap.

“I can’t help but picture a young, petulant baby-faced Sebastian running around the house causing all sorts of mayhem in this sweater,” she said full of mirth as she wrapped her arms around herself, hugging the sweater in glee. Never had he been jealous of a sweater before. That was new.

“Come off it,” Sebastian retorted, “I’ll have you know I was never a petulant child.” 

Ominis piped, “Never? That’s odd. You’re still perfectly petulant to me.”

“Okay someone put Ominis on a time out please.” Sebastian said grouchily. 

The girl wonder laughed. And like a shot of healing draught down his throat, the sound of it washed away the irritation in the nooks of his taut body.

As she linked arms with Ominis, she said “Come Ominis. I’ll save you from Sebastian’s wrath.”

They retreated into the kitchen, getting plates to help Solomon set up the tables for dinner. With burning eyes, Sebastian watched as they walked away, feeling listless tied to the ground that he stood on. Anne stayed firmly beside him, as if she’d been waiting for this moment to corner him all evening.

“I saw that.” Anne whispered.

His heart leaped, “Pray tell, sister, exactly what you saw?”   

“Oh,” she said coyly, “Just the terribly soppy looks you were giving our friend.”

“Oh.” Sebastian said, almost sounding resigned.

Anne raised an eyebrow, “That’s all you have to say?”

“Well, frankly you’re not the first person to say that to me. So I can’t really give you much points for originality,” He replied dryly, belligerent thinking about the long list of friends (and frenemies in Leander’s case) who had already informed him of his affections towards her.

“Hmm, yes. Ominis did mention something about that,”Anne said.

So Sebastian had been right. They had been exchanging letters. He supposed that there wasn’t much point in denying it anymore. While it was true that he could admit to himself that he cared for her deeply, he hadn’t confirmed it verbally with anyone else. Not even Ominis. 

But maybe it would be cathartic for him to just… say it out loud. To hell with it all.

Maybe this would be a good time to start.

“I guess there’s not much to contest when it’s the truth.” Sebastian tried to say as casually as he could, despite the palpable weight of what he was so blatantly saying. 

Almost gleefully, Anne shrieked, grabbed onto his shoulders and shook him manically, “That’s so very sickeningly endearing for you to say. Who are you and what have you done to my terribly cynical brother?”

He groaned “I don’t know. It’s disgusting isn’t it?”

“Are you in love with her?” Anne squealed as she asked excitedly, ignoring Sebastian’s state of emotional turmoil entirely.

Love? He had wanted to yell. Or throw up. He’d been trying his damn hardest to avoid the word, and now Anne had just thrown it into his face. It had already taken so much out of him just for Sebastian to concede that this could possibly be more than friendship; that this was a romantic affliction. But love? That was a whole other degree and department of troublesome feelings. Love was severe. Love was drastic. Love was a steep curve for him to climb.

Also had Anne forgotten that she was sitting literally right there? In the next room? That she could easily overhear?

With a slight hiss, Sebastian motioned for her to pipe down, “Be a little more discreet would you? Also that’s a little strong. I wouldn’t quite call it… that.”

“Well, then what would you call it?” Anne asked inquisitively.

What was it? That was the ever-complicated question, wasn’t it?

“A crush.” He said simply.

“A crush?” Anne said with a laugh of disbelief, “No way. That brief … whatever you had on Violet McDowell in 2nd year, that was a crush—”

“—God, don’t remind me—” Sebastian said with a grimace at the embarrassing flashback.

But Anne paid no mind as she continued.

“— But this? The way you look at her. The way you speak of her — No matter which way you put it, I don’t think there’s anything else you can call it.”

Sebastian almost took offence at that. Because there had to be something he could call it that didn’t feel so treacherous. That didn’t make him feel like so suffocatingly he’d been backed into a tight corner. 

“It’s… complicated.” He replied lamely.

“Sebastian it’s not like you’re trying to decipher an ancient form of magic,” Anne said sarcastically with a roll of her eyes, “It’s just a feeling. It just is or it isn’t. Boys truly are hopeless.”

Sebastian resented that.

“I resent that. It’s not that simple. I’m figuring things out.”

What was the rush anyway? To figure all this out? Love… or whatever this was, wasn’t something to take lightly. He never imagined that Anne would’ve been so frivolous with the word. If anything, he thought that she’d be telling him to tread carefully, not throw caution into the fucking wind. Wasn’t it decidedly worse to say such things so carelessly? To say something that he didn’t mean? 

And if Sebastian was sure of anything, he knew that the girl wonder didn’t deserve anything less than the truth.

“Well you might want to figure things out a tad faster.” Anne said as if to warn him.

And that instantly set off a spiel of alarm bells in his cluttered mind.

“Why? Did she say something to you?” Sebastian said almost in a panic.

“I mean, look at you, Seb. You’re getting frazzled from speculation alone!” Anne exclaimed, as if he’d just proved her point  “No, she hasn’t said anything to me. But do you really want to leave it long enough and risk her being whisked away by someone else?”

Sebastian had recently learned that he absolutely detested that idea.

He learned that he would sooner claw his ears deaf than ever have to endure her being taken away by anybody else.

Not that he had a right to be so dramatic about it, of course. Because people couldn’t be claimed – even if he wished dearly that they could be so. Because she was her own capable witch that had her own fair share of suitors vying for her affection, and Sebastian was (at least at the moment) too cowardly to do anything about it. Because even after all the mental mountains he’d already scaled to admit how fucking enamoured he was by her… he still couldn’t bear say the word love alongside her name. 

But still. Beyond any rational reason he hated the thought of her being with anyone else with an infuriating passion.  

“No.” He admitted.

And maybe that meant Anne was right. 

He had to get his shit together.

“Then, dear brother of mine — a word of advice. And I’m saying this because I love you a stupid amount,” Anne said with a firm pat on his shoulder, “Girls don’t wait forever.”

Dinner had been lovely. They’d been fed all the works; from roast ham to mince pies to Christmas pudding. Sebastian had been surprised that Solomon had brought out all the bells and whistles for them. He couldn’t remember the last time that they’d had a meal so lavish in their humble abode. It must’ve been years. But he gathered that it very likely had to do with their special guests. 

Since Solomon and Anne had done the majority of the heavy lifting with cooking dinner for them, he felt that it would only be fair that he should be the one to endure the surly task of doing the dishes. Which had left Anne gaping in total shock because she knew how fervently Sebastian hated doing the dishes.

“Okay, now you’re truly scaring me. Are you an imposter? Or an impeccably crafted clone?” Anne had teasingly said.

But to his delight (or his horror) the girl wonder had offered to help him.

So that was how Sebastian found himself in the dim kitchen candlelight, standing so closely to the girl that had been plaguing his every thought for the past few weeks. The girl that had been running amok in his tiny, addled brain. His shoulders brushed hers as they did the dishes in the sink. Like the sizzle of fire on an oiled pan or a gulp of caffeine, every little bump made him feel jittery. And there just was something so deeply domestic about this that filled his head with giddiness. 

The smell of soap and sea sponges. The crackle of the fireplace. The muffled chatter from the living room. Her in his sweater. Her sleeves pushed up to her elbows. Her gloved hands. Her furrowed brow. Her smooth hair swept back in a clip. 

Her in his home. 

As she washed and wiped the dishes, she sang a pretty hum from her lips. It sounded folksy and merry and absurdly lovely in the lilt of her voice — but he didn’t recognise it. He deduced that it was likely one of those muggle tunes she loved so dearly. And he made a mental note to ask her about it when he was less distressed.

It all suddenly felt very dangerous. Largely because of how easily Sebastian could see himself accepting this as a permanent fixture in his life. How easily he could get used to all of this. And he wouldn’t need to be convinced by any means or measure. In fact he’d grovel, pray, beg whatever god or infallible wizard he needed to make this regular occurrence. A taste of this homeliness was enough for him to fold like a cheap suit. 

It was appalling at how a tiny taste of mundanity was enough to devoid him of his wit.

“So…” she began slyly, “Anne told me an interesting story about you and the Neighbour’s garden.”

He felt himself go stiff, because that cloying tone of her voice did not sound good at all. What on Earth did Anne think that she was doing? God what on Earth did he think he was doing? 

“Something about how you ran stark naked around your neighbour’s garden after a little bender down at the pub? ” She said almost all too innocently. He was shocked at how she managed to say such wicked things with such innocuousness.

He groaned in despair. That was not a story that he had ever wanted her to hear.

“Merlin. You need to stay away from Anne.” Sebastian said brusquely. 

“I thought you wanted us to get along?” She said coyly.

His heart jumped. He swore that he could hear a hint of something wicked in the underbelly of her voice. Was she flirting? Because this certainly sounded like flirting.

And if the shivers that ran down the back of his spine was any indication, it sure fucking felt like flirting too.

“Yes, but not at my expense, obviously.” Sebastian said flatly.

“Where’s the fun in that?” She said with a mischievous glint in her eye.

Fun? Merlin this girl would be the death of him. It was supposed to be Sebastian who flustered her; who said cavalier things that made her blush feverishly and rendered her speechless. It had always worked with the village girls down the stream, or the barmaids in Hogsmeade. But with her — the one girl where it truly mattered — it had never been the case. 

Here she was rendering him a total dunce, and all it took was a coy smile. All this time, Sebastian had thought that she’d been doing it unintentionally. But maybe she’d been doing it more deliberately than she’d let on. And if that was the case…

He wouldn’t survive it.

“You’re becoming more despicable with every passing day.” He retorted wittily, with just enough mirth to appear charming, but not too much as to leave him feeling exposed.

“I did learn from the best.” She replied pointedly and shrewdly.

Admittedly, he felt his chest swell with pride at the idea that she’d learnt it from him.

But before he had the chance to retort, she caught him off guard with a dose of sincerity.

“Thank you for letting me come over this Christmas.” She said quietly, to a backdrop of the running water tap and the clinking of ceramic plates.

She was thanking him so earnestly. And Sebastian wished he could take credit for it. Pretend that he was totally selfless in inviting her into his home — but he couldn’t shake the feeling that it would be wrong. 

The girl wonder had made it known to him early in the year that she had planned to stay in the castle over Christmas. And when she had first mentioned it several months ago, Sebastian had felt restless — but at the time, he hadn’t known why. 

After months of emotional whiplash, it was safe to say that he now had a clearer idea. 

“Couldn’t let you stay alone in the castle, now could I?” Sebastian said.

“I mean you could’ve.” She joked.

He couldn’t have. He wouldn’t have. But how else was Sebastian meant to explain that without confessing some degree of his despairing devotion to her? How was he to explain to her that actually, she was doing him this favour? By being here, with him, in the dim corner of his childhood kitchen light. How else was he to explain to her that if she hadn’t, even if she stayed by herself in the hallowed halls of the castle, he’d still be the lonelier one between them?

He couldn’t. So he needed to keep it brief.

“No,” he said surprisingly sincerely, “I really couldn’t.”

And all of a sudden, the weightless atmosphere that once pervaded the room was now gone. The muffled voices from the living room became soft. Even the soreness in his fingers from all the dish-washing dulled. What was left was only the sincerity in his voice now. He hadn’t intended to sound so… honest, but he guessed that she naturally brought it out of him. 

He could only hope that he hadn’t… totally freaked her out.

He turned to look at her, to say something either aloof or wildly charming — but he soon realised that it was a grave mistake. Because suddenly, he was looking right at her, and she was looking right at him. And with one measly look, Sebastian’s chest felt tighter and the air felt thinner.

(This was happening so often, really — you’d think that he would’ve been more accustomed to it all by now.)

Her eyes flicked up to something above them that had caught her attention; but Sebastian couldn’t bring himself to look up — or care in all honesty. Too enraptured by the magnetic pull of her eyes. 

But the next words she uttered out of her lips, he couldn’t have ever ignored: 

“Is that… a mistletoe?” 

Sebastian almost wanted to laugh. Because surely, he had to have misheard.

Because a fucking mistletoe?

But alas, magically above them, a mistletoe sat. In all its almost mocking, prickly glory, a mistletoe was perched on the edge of the hanging kerosene kitchen lamp.  All of a sudden, blood was rushing in his ears, drowning out the rest of the room. All that he could hear was the thunderous pounding thump of his relentless heartbeat banging against his eardrums. 

When Sebastian realised that he hadn’t spoken for a while, he racked his tiny anxious brain for something meaningful, charming, or at least coherent. 

“It… must be Anne’s doing.” Was all Sebastian could say, rather lamely.

Was this Anne’s idea of helping him move along? To make it all go a little faster? Because if that were true, this was the most insane plan he’d ever heard of. And Sebastian was normally the mastermind behind the most ludicrous and most asinine of plans — so trust that he could spot one a mile away.

If he hadn’t loved his sister so dearly, he would’ve banished her out to the neighbour’s cottage for the rest of the night for all the emotional strife she was causing him! If he were to die young from all the heart palpitations this meddling was sure to give him — he’d vow to haunt her endlessly for eternity.

Because coercing the girl that he… had very strong feelings for… into kissing him would not bode well on his conscience. Or his ego. Or his delicately constructed sense of self-worth. In fact it would rather bruise him if she were to kiss him out of some sort of misplaced obligation.

No matter how heavenly he knew it would probably feel.

Sebastian could feel himself literally teetering on the brink of perilous precipice; between what he could do next… but also what he should most definitely not do next.

This was all feeling too loud and too radical for him to bear. How did kissing her suddenly factor into this equation?

… But as if by wicked instinct, his gaze dropped down onto the curve of her lips — and he absolutely loathed himself for it. 

Gods, wouldn’t it be nice to kiss her?

(Another one of those absurd, intrusive thoughts of his.)

He was ready to laugh it off. Tell her that it was just a silly little old thing. Some outdated conventions. They didn’t have to go through with it. In fact, they could spare themselves the embarrassment and never speak of this ever again if she willed it so. 

To his surprise, she replied almost matter-of-factly:

“… Supposedly if we don’t kiss, we’d be doomed to 100 years of misfortune.”

Like a slow sinful poison, he felt his body go numb in shock. Like a match to a barren wick, he felt his mouth go dry. Had he heard right? 

Was she implying what he thought she was implying?

Almost cautiously, he replied, “We wouldn’t want that.” 

It was true, he wouldn’t want that. 100 years of misfortune wouldn’t do him any good in trying to court the girl before him.

“Not at all,” She said as she nodded.

So it was only logical that they had to kiss.

“100 Years is… a long time,” He rationalised.

He almost couldn’t believe the words tumbling out of his mouth. 

“A lifetime long,” She agreed.

Forget what he was saying — why was she encouraging this?

“And I suppose it is tradition,” He justified.

“Right. Tradition.” She clarified.

When she’d put it like that, it seemed entirely sensible. Almost as if doing anything else would be totally irrational. Sebastian normally skewed towards irrationality, because what was life without a little bit of unreasonableness… 

But if she was readily weaving this enticing thread of logic for him — he would obediently surrender to her pull.

Sebastian waited for the punchline. The cruel joke. For her to say she was, “just kidding, of course!” 

But even after what felt like aeons of silence — it never came. He wondered if she could read him. If she knew that he was all unbridled nerves and anticipation in this lanky body of his. All he saw was her, looking straight at him. No distractions, just a firm sense of purpose. And he wondered what was behind her eyes. Was she nervous? Because he was fucking nervous. 

Why didn’t she look nervous?

A lull fell over them, and it was as if they’d reach an impasse. As if it were a silent agreement between two precarious souls.

“So I guess-” He began.

“Right.”

He supposed that was confirmation enough. For him to press on. To take the next step.

But what was the next step? This didn’t come with a fucking manual. How was he to go about kissing the girl that had plagued his every waking thought now that she was all but offering it?

He supposed he just had to take it.

So he did.

He took a daring step forward, and he swore that he could see a slight tremor in her throat. It was tiny, almost imperceivable, but honest to god, it helped him breathe a little. Because it meant that maybe she wasn’t so unbothered by this treacherous proximity as she appeared to be. 

When he looked at her closely and scrutinised every crinkle in her eye, he saw a sliver of something he hadn’t seen before. Something familiar. Like the flicker of a yearning and restlessness he saw so often in himself. In the rounds of her cheeks, he could make out the outline of a growing blush, betraying the effect his closeness had on her.

With every passing second he inched closer, Sebastian could feel something growing inside him. Breaking out in the pit of his stomach like turbulent waves. A feeling he knew would only be quelled if he managed to get his mouth onto hers. Until he knew what every inch of her lips tasted like.

Was he really about to do this?

Sebastian was still holding onto the dishes in the sink. But fuck the dishes. He didn’t have the time to put that shit down. He’d carry the weight of every stupid dish, cup or ceramic bowl if it meant that he’d be able to touch her.  

“Merry Christmas Sebastian.” She whispered.

And what a lovely whisper it was.

Before her hands ever touched him, her voice did. It embraced him everywhere; his arms, down his spine, even in the unknown depths of his heart. He felt his chest melt a little with something warm and soft and so, so pleasant. In this moment, he allowed himself to believe it. Believe that maybe he could be in love with her. Maybe he was already knee-deep in it; buried thousands and thousands of feet below the weight of his burdensome feelings.

And that this love wouldn’t kill him. It wouldn’t hurt him. It wouldn’t be wrong or scary or restricting.

He could love her and still breathe.

She was so close. Just one more step and they’d meet.

Fuck his ego. Fuck his conscience. Fuck his brittle his self-worth. He would fucking kiss her like his entire measly existence depended on it.

It was just on the tip of his tongue. It was right there for the taking. It was—

“Hey, Dessert’s ready—” 

— Ominis?

As quickly as heaven had opened its gates, it had also come crashing down like a train wreck. 

Like a brutal punch to the gut, Sebastian was thrown back into a sobering reality. Ominis’s sharp voice had popped the fragile little bubble they’d temporarily created. 

Wasn’t the universe just fucking cruel?

And as much as he loved his best friend, he had never ever hated him more. Of all the moments that he could’ve chosen to walk in on… this was what he decided on?

Silence hung in the air. The shadow of something that almost happened lingered like a half-spoken sonnet, begging to be finished. Sebastian searched for the right words, searched for clarity in the fog, searched for the will to string his thoughts together — but it all eluded him.

“...Did I interrupt something—”

“N-No!” “Nope.”

Her face was flushed crimson. His was probably no better.

Thank Merlin, Ominis was blind.

As if by magic, they were now a whole metre apart. Now that Sebastian had a taste of closeness, this distance starved him. It felt like a cruel, deprivation 

A heavy silence settled between them, with each second stretching out for what felt like an eternity. Ominis hadn’t seen them, per se — but Sebastian had a feeling that he could sense that he had just ruined… something significant.

Love might not have killed him, but this painfully awkward silence would.

"Right... well. Solomon asked me to get you both," Ominis finally broke the silence, his tone tinged with clear discomfort.

The ambiance dissipated, the moment was gone. Replaced by the ordinary state of affairs they were forced to return to.

“We’ll—” Sebastian began to say with a slight croak, before clearing his throat, “We’ll be right there.”

He couldn’t bear to look at her as he rushed out to the living room, where normalcy awaited him.

There went his bloody chance.

“Ominis, my plan!” Anne said in a rushed whisper as she pulled the blonde boy into an alcove of the small Sallow residence.

He looked back at her guiltily, with only the slightest hint of a grumble, “Well you could’ve told me about the plan ahead of time…”

“We were so close!” Anne said

“I’m sorry…”

——

Notes

GOSH I apologise so deeply for how atrociously long this chapter took!!! It took me so long, even though I've literally had the outline for it from the very early stages of this fic!

But work did not kill me and I have a new chapter for yall <3

I made sure to sprinkle all the good tropes like, the classic wearing his sweater trope, the oh is that a mistletoe? trope, the almost kiss trope!!! AHHHH I hope you guys like it :)

My HC that the only person that can tame Ominis' outta pocket sass is Anne.

I'm so sorry if you guys have been waiting, and if you're still reading THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!

Shoutout to the very very lovely, @wt-fxck @deliciouslyferal @sonicranger1 @spaceyaceface @eleanorstaghart @ithinkweallsing @somethingiswrongwithme @tlnyjoong @musicbecky @oliviajdjarin @intheshadowofthegame @weeb-shitss FOR ALL THE COMMENTS AND THE TAGS!!!!