#doodling on the phone is great; really let's you know you have No say over what happens so you just gotta let it do its own thing hfbsh
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doodles on a phone :D
#art#my art#artists on tumblr#digital art#doodles#makeaterriblecomicday2024#!! looks fun :D and it is so fast and easy. only 99 cents !! hfbsh#doodling on the phone is great; really let's you know you have No say over what happens so you just gotta let it do its own thing hfbsh#anyway i don't like making posts on mobile. doesn't feel nice hfhs#so tooooodles now :33
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Love beyond spoken words - part 2
Summary: Everyone has a way of saying "I love you" without using those three words.
Characters: Jamil, Rook, Idia, Sebek × GN!Reader (separate, romantic)
Other parts of the series: Ace, Jack, Azul
Warnings: none
By opening the document, you agree to Mx Tattly's terms of source confidentiality.
-ˋˏ’✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈
Jamil was going through his personalised version of the stages of grief while stacking away the boxes of expensive fabric Kalim brought from Silk City that he promised to give to Professor Crewel
Without his knowledge, as always
But this time wasn't too bad, since you were there to help him with the boxes
And he quite enjoyed your company, so the opportunist in him simply refused to deny himself of you when you kindly offered to lend him a helping hand
He even offered you one of his hair ties when your hair kept falling on your face
You knew Jamil had a certain possesiveness over his personal belongings, so you couldn't help but feel a bit flustered at the offer
You still accepted the hair tie, however
After your finished putting the boxes away, Grim came into the room looking for you because the Headmage requested your help with some errand
And you didn't get the chance to hand Jamil his hair tie back
Jamil was surprised by how little it bothered him that his hair tie was with you; instead of being upset you took something from him like he expected he'd feel, he was somewhat glad you had something of his with you
...Maybe it was silly, it was just a hair tie after all
Yet, it almost made him feel like he was claiming you in some way-
A thought so embarassing he had to cover his whole face with his hoodie
He was walking in the hallways with Kalim as his Housewarden talked about The Great Seven know what, when Kalim suddenly stopped himself mid-rant and fished something out of his pocket
"I totally forgot! Reader bumped into me today and told me to give this to you!"
It was a small paper bag with a snake doodled on it
Jamil snatched it from Kalim, not wanting him to hold something from you any longer, and opened the bag
Inside he found a little note and two hair ties: the one he gave you, and another one that had a small charm with your favorite symbol on it
"I know you don't like when people use your things, so I wanted to give it back. I also gave you one of mine so take care of it!"
He didn't understand the logic behind you giving him your own hair tie, but he took the bag from you and hid it carefully in his pocket, where he occasionally let his hands rest throughout the day
Jamil was very curious about your little offering, so he asked you about it over text
"I wanted to offer it to you as an apology for holding onto your stuff for too long so you won't be mad at me."
Your goody-two-shoes silly logic made him chuckle
As he was about to playfully scold you for your thinking, he saw another chat bubble coming from you that made him drop his phone
"...besides, is it really that bad that I wanted you to have something of mine too?"
Cheeks burning with fluster, he texted you a quick goodnight before he put his phone onto his nightstand, face down so not even the inanimate object could see him like this
Jamil struggled with the idea of you wanting to leave your mark on him, the same selfish idea he carried in his heart
Yet, he didn't mind either of your selfishness
That's why you found Jamil's hair tie under your desk first thing in the morning, a small note attached to it
"If I will have to carry something that belongs to you with me, it wouldn't be fair if you didn't do the same."
『••✎••』
You were enjoying your break outside when you heard a sharp object hit the tree you were leaning against, and based on the piece of paper attached to it, someone special wanted to tell you something
"My love, a whisper
My arrow, a listener
A most blessed messenger
It'll seek your heart to alter
For your blush I'm after."
Your degree in the language of Rook Hunt told you several things: 1. He was on a mission to live up to his name and hunt for your heart... or something
And 2. He really liked his "arrow of love" metaphors
Rook also was likely very amused by how on the nose he was being by sending you love poems via arrow aimed at your surroundings
It happened often enough for you to become unable to differenciate between the quickening pace of your heart from the spook and the one from knowing your boyfriend wanted to remind you of his love for you
Rook had some questionable ways of making your heart skip a beat, and it was borderline annoying how good he was at getting what he wanted
Something about the message itself was a bit off to you
Wasn't counterproductive for a hunter to let its prey know that he was after it?
You never knew what Rook was about to do next, and your heartbeat quickened once again with anticipation for his next move
...which happened soon enough
If the Headmage knew of the arrow currently stuck to your door and damaging the school property, you'd be in trouble
You just wanted to rest peacefully after your classes, but it seemed like Rook had other plans
"My eyes give gentle kisses to your heart
I want to read you, I want to learn you
The world in your chest, your own flow of art
Painted in the loveliest of hues."
You looked around, suddenly overwhelmed with the feeling of being watched
At this point you were convinced he was toying with you, like a cat after it caught a mouse
But Rook had plans other than to harm you...
He enjoyed the chase, maybe a bit at the expense of your heart, which would jump out of your chest at every over the top declaration of love
You could think of only one way to somewhat get back at him
The vice housewarden was scribbling in his notebook at his desk when he heard footsteps nearing his room, followed by a knock at the door
He smiled and opened the door, revealing your flustered self, fidgeting with a piece of paper in your hands
"Roses are red
You look very merry
I'm not good at writing poems
So just kiss me already."
Rook's eyes widened for a few seconds before he burst into a delighter laughter as he wrapped his arms around you
You thought his over the top affection was what affected you the most, but you were so wrong
All along, it was the little things that made your heart explode
His laughter and the beating of your heart were the only melody echoing in your ears, while your face was being admired by Rook's lovesick eyes
"As you wish, mon amour."
『••✎••』
When you and Idia started dating, you knew he was a peculiar guy
He texted you "good morning" at 5 P.M., he liked to tease you about your grades and wishing the school system was digitalized so he could hack into the school and modify your grades, and he liked gifting you small, cute robots that he built during his sleepless nights
You were dedicated to peel off every layer of your angsty, dramatic, onion of a lover and try to understand his ways of showing he cares about you
Unfortunately, the first obstacle you had to face was his way of texting you
Idia was both a genius and a smartass: he liked sending you secret messages through emojis, but he'd never give you any hint to help you decode them
You rolled your eyes as his favorite combo of emojis popped onto your screen through the notification of your messaging app
"➡️👤🛠️👆💙➡️🤪"
You suspected he either liked testing your abilities to decypher his code, or he was to afraid to outright say what he felt
It's not like Idia was shy in his affections, as peculiar as they were
It was more like he was... hesitant
Afraid, even
"I will take that as a compliment"
You watched as the chat bubble appeared on your screen, carrying Idia's reply
"whehehe did you really look at a code with unknown meaning and assumed it was positive? lmaooooo"
Both of you knew he wouldn't do that
Not because he wasn't capable of it, but because Ortho would threaten to scratch up his P.E. gear again
"Not my fault you sent me code instead of telling me how pretty we both know you think I am"
"oooooo someone's confident 💘💘💘💘"
Well, at least that one was easy enough to decypher
The code Idia sent to you always came out of nowhere, like a sudden stream of thoughts that he couldn't keep to himself
It was sweet, really, and it wasn't like you disliked his little codes
Being a gamer at heart, Idia loved games, and they were an important part of him
If Idia needed some sort of puzzle to express himself, you decided to play along
You were determined to wait until Idia became able to tell you outright how he felt
Maybe one day
That's what Idia also told himself as he stared at the sentence he kept typing and deleting over and over in your conversation
"you make my heart go wild"
Maybe one day...
『••✎••』
"And, because of General Zephyrus, royal green has become a color in Briar Valley that represents sentiments of love and affection for your beloved. It was historically used in clothing during duels by the partner that was not participating..."
You had no idea what you did to receive a special history lesson from Professor Zigvolt himself, but you loved Sebek so you listened to him attentively
It was one of the rare occasions in which he was not talking about Malleus, and it was almost cute to see how worked up he got for topics outside of his guard duty
Not like he wasn't always cute
"Are you even listening, human?!"
...You were not stupid enough to admit you kind of spaced out a little
"Yeah, you were talking about, uh... Something about green clothes?"
Sebek raised his eyebrow and watched you suspiciously, while you were trying not to avoid his piercing gaze and tell on yourself
"... Well, yes. It was a tradition for unmarried partners to express their love through green accessories, such as scarves and..."
Even if he seemed upset on the surface, Sebek was more than eager to share part of his culture with you
The way he'd get so animated about his homeland, his liege, his passions...
You could watch him all day
Unfortunately, the bell indicating the end of your break had the both of you part ways
Before Sebek walked away, he reminded you of the equestrian club's upcoming show jumping competition against Royal Sword Academy
And before he could shily request your presence, you told him you'll be there, and sent his blushy self back to his classes
You didn't want to just be there and attend, however: you wanted to show your appreciation for Sebek
And you remembered his little rant about green accessories as showcases of love in Briar Valley
Which brought you to Sam's the next day, where you bumped into Lilia
Lucky for you, since you couldn't remember which shade of green was the one Sebek was talking about...
Your eyes fell upon a light green scarf, resembling the trademark Diasomnia green, and asked Lilia if this color was good to wear
Lilia's eyes widened before his face twisted into a mischievous grin before he agreed with your choice
So you wrapped it around your wrist the day of the competition and made sure it was as easy to spot as possible
Sebek was warming up with his horse when he spotted you in the growing crowd...
...And you watched him as he almost fell off his horse when he saw the scarf wrapped around the hand you were waving at him with
You watched how he debated between going to you and resuming his warmup for what felt like an eternity, but the beginning of the competition was announced so he settled on talking to you later
On his first break, he marched right to you, red as a tomato and vaguely resembling a broken traffic light
"HUMAN! I can't believe you would do this in such a public setting without telling me first! In Briar Valley it's custom for the knight to wrap the scarf around their desired partner after the duel to signal their engagement! Was my lecture not clear enough?!"
You were used to Sebek getting randomly agitated about stuff but-
-Wait.
"ENGAGEMENT?!"
Sebek turned even redder, something you thought was impossible
"YES?! Light green is a sign of engagement!"
You head was full of questions upon questions
Did you just publicly more or less propose to Sebek?
And he was mad because you didn't tell him beforehand, not because of the accidentally proposal itself?!
Now you wanted a horse to fall off of
#twisted wonderland#twst#twisted wonderland x reader#twst x reader#jamil viper#jamil viper x reader#rook hunt#rook hunt x reader#idia shroud#idia shroud x reader#sebek zigvolt#sebek zigvolt x reader
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LDS boys x reader who's quite oblivious to their feelings?!?
| Partner who is quite obvious to the boys’ feelings |
Lnd boys x gn! Oblivious! Reader
Xavier
Xavier will wait for you to realize your feelings on your own terms giving you time and affection
He will be so soft and sweet to you, the man’s just happy to spend time with you
Sometimes while training together, he’d purposely let you win so can watch to celebrate.
When he does something a bit flirty, you’re dumbfounded- ears red eyes unable to meet his.
Though he isn’t the best person around to have in the kitchen, he makes an effort to learn how to cook your favourite dish.
A particularly strong hit from you caught Xavier off guard. He stumbled backwards, feigning a loss of balance, and fell to the floor with a dramatic thud. Concern immediately washed over your face as you rushed forward, your weapon forgotten, to check on your fallen comrade.
"Xavier! Are you alright? I should have been more careful," you said, worry etched across your features as you held him still.
Xavier lay there, seemingly dazed, looking up at you with a mysterious glint in his eyes. A whisper echoed through, "Woah... you look pretty from here."
Your concern shifted to confusion, and you tilted your head, trying to make sense of his words. "Hm? You said something? But I can't believe I was able to defeat one of the top-performing hunters today!" you exclaimed, once you registered the accomplishment, your attention torn between victory and the well-being of your sparring partner.
"Congrats on the win, you did great," Xavier replied, his hands reaching up to gently cup your face. The touch was unexpected, and you blushed slightly at the unexpected closeness. His eyes sparkled with a mixture of admiration and devotion.
Zayne
Zayne, although busy throughout the day, would set aside time for you to spend it with you even when you insist on him utilizing it to rest
His type of love would be acts of service and gift giving, getting you small things
^^ for example when you unconsciously ramble on how you were recently into doodling and sketching so he brings in a sketchbook for you to fill up )):
Or when you wanted to have crushed ice in the middle of the summer, he’d use his evol to help you out
He’d keep in one of your doodles on his office desk- a constant reminder of you that put a smile on his face
Dr. Zayne peered over the rim of his glasses, his expression a mix of concern and amusement. The soft hum of medical equipment echoed in the small examination room, creating an oddly serene backdrop to the unfolding conversation.
"Your heart's racing again," he remarked, the corner of his lips lifting in a half-smile. "May I ask why?"
"Really? I don't know, Dr. Zayne. This happens every time I'm near you. Do you think this is some kind of allergy?" you ask genuinely worried.
Laughter almost spills from his lips at the question, “I don’t think that is medically possible, perhaps this is because of some different matters..” Xavier trails off, eyes hinting at something you aren’t sure of.
While you are left confused- oblivious even to his intentions!
Rafayel
This man will not stop pestering you, constantly throwing flirty lines at you even when you shoot him down again and again :(
Unlike the other two, immediately after he recognizes his own feelings, he’s all over you
Although when the topic of actually confessing comes up, he’s all shy and red in the face, and when you misunderstand his confession- he gets all pouty not talking to you for days
“y/nn!” he whines over the phone, “I need you here right now! You’re my bodyguard, right?! There’s this hideous bug near my canvas, please come quick,” he hurriedly says cutting of the call before you can even reply.
You roll your eyes as you hear his dramatic plea through the phone. It's not the first time he's called you for something trivial. Sighing, you decide to play along with his antics and head to his house.
When you arrive, you find him standing on a chair, gesturing wildly at the bug near his canvas. "Y/nn, thank goodness you're here! This bug is a threat to my masterpiece! Can you please get rid of it?" he says, looking genuinely distressed.
You can't help but chuckle at his exaggerated reaction. "Alright, alright, calm down. It's just a bug," you reassure him. You take a step forward and swat the bug away, making sure to make a show of it. "There, problem solved. Your masterpiece is safe," you tease.
He looks at you with wide eyes, a mix of relief and admiration in them. "You're my hero, y/nn! Always coming to my rescue," he says, a mysterious glint in his eyes. As you share a laugh, you notice a hint of vulnerability in his expression.
"You know," he starts, scratching the back of his head nervously, "I... um, appreciate you being around. More than just for bug emergencies, I mean." He glances away, his cheeks turning a shade of pink.
He hesitates and finally blurts out, "I like having you around, y/nn. More than just for emergencies." You raise an eyebrow, not fully grasping the weight of his words.
“I mean, I hope you do,” you start, giving him a small smile. Upon hearing your words, he’s not talking to you for the rest of the week, while you wonder if you had said something wrong.
Sorry you had to wait this late but I was busy with moving into uni and lyf happened, although be ready to be fed more often now!!
#gn reader#male reader#love and deepspace#rafayel#love and deepspace x reader#love and deepspace rafayel#love and deepspace game#love and deepspace gn reader#zayne#xavier love and deepspace#lads xavier#lads zayne#lads rafayel#lads
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YOUR WADE WILSON X READER STUFF IS SO PERFECT OMG IM EATING IT UP FRFR
WADE WILSON X READER
‧₊ ᵎᵎ 🍒 ⋅ ˚✮ DOODLES : 580 WRDS
<RATING: PG-13, SOME LANGUAGE>
A/N : HI ANON TYSM FOR THE COMPLIMENT!!! I really am greatful that you and many others have enjoyed my Wade content so much. Also, hey, so could you possibly guess what happens in this? Could youuuu? It’s about Wade being curious about your self-drawn “tattoos”. I swear it’ll make more sense when you read it!!!
You’re lounging around in your bed like you have been all day. Wade lies next to you while playing some random game on his phone. It’s pretty quiet; the only noises in the room are you and Wade’s breathing and his game. His breaths are more quick and sharp, while yours are shallow and slow. He groans loudly and whines as per usual. “I died again, babe! Can you believe it?” he asks dramatically as he puts his phone down on his nightstand. You crack a small smile that only convinces him to continue. He makes his way to lay his head on your stomach, never ceasing his whining. “Why don’t you care? Why won’t you coddle me like I deserve?” he pouts, putting on his usual act when he wants attention. Wade’s efforts succeed when you let out a soft chuckle and move your arm down to rub his textured chest gently. He lets out an unnecessarily loud sigh before letting his eyes gently close. “Better?” you ask with a smile. "Oh, you bet your ass this is better,” he confirms while leaning into you more by the second.
When Wade opens up his eyes, he stares at your arm in confusion, then up at you. He looks back and forth between them a few times before questioning you. “What’s up with the ink all over your arms, pumpkin? You mapping out some tattoos you wanna get?” You shrug in response. “I just got bored earlier. They’re nothing really,” you tell him sheepishly, slightly embarrassed that he’s so focused on them. His fingers gently trace the set marks on your skin with an intrigued look in his eyes. You feel your cheeks warm more; he’s rarely this careful and quiet with you. You’re so used to him squeezing, pinching, and sometimes gently biting you. His fingers continue to trace the lines as if he were drawing them himself. His hand moves to hold your forearm to get a better look at the doodles. He lets out a curious ‘hmm’ while squinting at your arm. “Oh,” he exclaims while smiling. “These would be really fun to color in,” he says in a tone that begs you to let him. You nod in agreement to his suggestion. “I guess it wouldn’t hurt,” you sigh to him, and he smiles so hard you see his teeth showing.
Wade stays intrigued for the next few hours with coloring on your stick, trying his best to stay inside the lines because, according to him, if you’re going to allow him to color your “sacred silken skin,” then he should at least try to make it look nice. He bites his bottom lip into his mouth and hums for a moment. “Why did you make this one so detailed?” he grunts. “I don’t know. I told you I was just bored. I didn’t expect to end up with you trying to color in every little doodle,” you chuckled while watching him work inside the lines. “You better make these easier to color next time you draw all over yourself,” he mumbles while pouting. “Do you ever stop complaining?” you ask him as a joke. He gasps and squeezes your forearm a bit. “Will you ever stop giving me reasons to complain?” he sasses back. You widen your eyes as you realize he makes a good argument. “Whatever,” you groan in response. He chuckles sweetly as he finishes coloring in the doodle he’d been fussing about, moving on to the next one.
#deadpool#deadpool x reader#deadpool x y/n#deadpool x you#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool 3#wade wilson#wade wilson x reader#wade wilson x y/n#wade wilson x you#fluff#silly little guy#bf!wade wilson#bamboobooanswers#bambooboofic#bamboobooshark
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Hiya Hiya! Me again! Was wondering if you were up for doing SBG main six with (hard to explain for me) S/O that like fidgets a lot?(I think that's what people would call it, I honestly don't know.) Examples: S/O gets bored so they draw on themselves, S/O gets bored so they draw on (SBG main six)'s hand 9r wherever, S/O gets bored/needs to fidget with something? Don't worry (SBG main six)'s hands/fingers are perfect to play/mess with(to clarify NOT in a inappropriate way, for all those dirty minded people).
-⭐️ Anon
P.S: do headcanons if needed or whatever you want! Also DONT feel like you have to do my request, only do it if you want to!
hello again!! :3 I believe what your explaining is kinda like adhd sorta? I get what your trying to say either way and i think this is a great request :D also don't worry I actually like fanfic writing so your requests are always a fun activity for me
Warnings- very fluffy, small/short one-shots/storys, definitely spelling errors, your already dating them in this
Sbg x fidgety reader!!
◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇
Ashlen
you where all hanging out at the school bus graveyard doing whatever (talking, catching up of school, sleep, ect.) You where sitting next to ashlen who was just chilling sitting on her phone
You where fidgeting with your hands or the end of your shirt just looking around as the others do whatever they where doing and ashlen notices your fidgeting
"Somthing bothering you?"
She looks over at you as you turn your head to meet her gaze
"Hm? Oh- no I'm fine, why?"
"You won't stop fidgeting with your fingers and shirt"
"Ohh that's just something I sorta do I don't really know why"
She raises a eyebrow at you but doesn't push anything as she l9oks back at her phone you go back to looking around before she holds her hand out to you
She didn't look at you as she did she just held her hand out and you happily grab it and just fidget with her fingers slightly just enjoying the surprising peaceful moment
That aiden may or may not have ruined after a while
◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇
Aiden
You where all in the phantom dimension just hanging out in the school bus graveyard, there was no big plans today so you where all just kinda chilling
Aiden was sitting next to you in one of the bus seats surprisingly not doing anything to stupid and you where just drawing on your jeans with some pen you found
"Whatcha doing?"
"Drawing"
You continue to draw on your jeans as aiden leans over you watching you doodle
"Can I draw on you?"
You say randomly as you look up at him which his usual smile grows in excitement
"Only if I can draw on you to!"
"Deal"
Then you doodle on his hand for a bit before he does the same to you, both of your hands littered with little doodles of whatever
◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇
Ben
Your both in the graveyard like usual as everyone's just trying to catch up on sleep or talking about what happened that night
You were just fidgeting with your own hands as ben is sitting next to you with his headphones in and his eyes closed
You eventually just grab his hand and gently fidget with his fingers witch makes him open his eyes and look at you confused which you pay no mind to as you continue fidgeting with his fingers
He watches you for a moment before closing his eyes again letting you fidget with his fingers and maybe later he'd give you his notebook to draw or something
◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇
Tyler
Your in the graveyard (shocker I know lol) everyone's just talking and making a plan for what to do the next night in the phantom dimension
Your kinda paying attention as you draw tiny doodles on your hand tylers sitting next to you arguing about some part of the plan I'm sure
Eventually your hand is to coverd in doodles to draw any more so you just grab tylers hand which makes him look over at you confused
"What are you doing?"
"Doodling"
"On my hand?"
"Yep"
He looks annoyed but doesn't push you away or try to stop you as he just goes back to the plan that was being discussed and you just draw random doodles on his hand
(He secretly loves them and keeps them on his hand for the rest of the day)
◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇
Taylor
(Very very short sorry)
You'd be in the graveyard (again) just talking about last night in the phantom dimension your just fidgeting with your own hands as you pay attention to the conversation slightly
Taylors sitting next to you whe you gently grab her hand and start fidgeting with her fingers
She wouldn't mind at all and just fidget with your hand as well with a bright smile and even let you doodle on her hand afterwards
◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇
Logen
You guys would be in the phantom dimension discussing something, logen is sitting next to you as he pays attention to the conversation you on the other hand are doodling on your hand still slightly paying attention though
Logen notices your doodling but dosent say anything cuz he knows you fidget a lot for no apparent reason
Hes pretty focused on the conversation when you gently grab his hand making him look over at you
"What are you doing?"
"Can I draw on you?"
"I-uh sure"
nods blushing slightly as you start to make small doodles on his hand for the rest of the conversation by the time its over his hand was coverd in small doodles
◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇
Hope this turned out how you expected it!! And thanks for the request again!!
#school bus graveyard x reader#aiden clark#aiden x reader#ashlyn banner#ashlyn x reader#ben clark#ben x reader#logen fields#logen x reader#tyler x reader#tyler hernandez#taylor x reader#taylor hernandez#sbg x reader#sbg (webtoon)#school bus graveyard
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Henry Spencer Is A Bastard (With A Broken Nose)
Shawn and Jules have been living together for two weeks when Jules storms into the precinct, grabs Lassiter by the arm, and drags him into the interrogation room.
“O’Hara, what the hell is-”
“You’ve spent time alone with Henry,” she says, sitting Lassiter in the suspect chair. “What was he like?”
“What?”
“This is important, Carlton.”
Lassiter sighs, looking around the room for a moment before answering. “Unpleasant and judgemental. He had every quality of a great cop but none of an actual person I’d spend time with.”
“Which for you is saying something,” Jules mumbles, looking to the side. “Would-would you say you think he’s capable of intentional child endangerment or neglect?”
Lassiter sits up more. “What? O’Hara, what is this about?”
Jules takes a deep breath, looking down at her hands. “I was helping Shawn get some stuff from his old room, and we found an old journal from when he was a kid.It was mostly just doodles and half-finished homework, and he said to just throw it away, but… I kept it. I thought it was cute, to be able to look at what went through his brain as a kid.”
“O’Hara. If you’re alleging what I think-”
“I read more later while he was out with Gus and one of the pages was a failed writing assignment. He was supposed to write about what he did over the weekend and he wrote that his dad locked him a trunk and made him pretend to be kidnapped.”
Lassiter lets out a breath. “Okay. But you and I both know Spencer’s imagination-”
“Carlton, remember the kicked-out tailight? When he got shot?”
“O’Hara, I was with Henry through that whole investigation, and I don’t think I can say that the man I investigated with would purposefully hurt or neglect his son. He was like a machine through the whole thing.”
“There was more, though, Carlton. One of the assignments was to write about how they spent Easter and Shawn’s said he got cut on some glass trying to dig up his eggs. He drew a picture, it-”
She pulls out her phone and hands it to her partner. Lassiter looks at a crude drawing of a small stick figure on it’s hands and knees, overly-large shards on the ground in front of it, and an egg a good few lines below it. There’s a taller stick figure behind the small one, with a wide-open mouth and the words ‘You can do better, Shawn,’ written beside it.
The teacher’s note on the side says that Shawn needs to stop making up stories for assignments about his real life.
Lassiter hands the phone back. “O’Hara…”
Jules sits back in her chair a bit, the tension giving way to a slumped tiredness. “I know they’ve never had an… easy relationship, but Henry has always been so present, ever since we’ve known Shawn. I thought that was a good thing and Shawn’s discomfort was just Shawn being… Shawn.” She looks down at her hand in guilt. “What if I completely missed that he has reason, Carlton?”
Lassiter grabs one of Jules’s hands. “O’Hara, Henry Spencer is a bitter, unlikeable, and overbearing old man- but I really don’t think he’s capable of child abuse.”
Jules holds his hand back and gives it a squeeze. “I just… don’t know how to ask Shawn if these are real. He’s not exactly forthcoming about messy emotions and memories.”
Lassiter nods, and then blinks. “So let’s ask Guster. They’ve been stuck together like flies on a flytrap forever.”
Jules shakes her head. “If Shawn isn’t going to say anything, I really don’t think Gus will.”
“Well, you can either ask Guster if these are real, or you can worry about it forever and never get any answers.” Lassiter knows his partner well enough to know that’s unacceptable to her.
She gives his hand one more squeeze. “I’m just worried. Henry works here. He’s in charge of Shawn.”
“And I’m sure that when we talk to Guster about all this, we’ll learn that Spencer was just exaggerating like he always does.”
—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gus reads the page with wide eyes. “Wait, he was serious about that?”
Lassiter stifles the urge to shout ‘Come on!’ when he hears Jules suck in a breath.
“You mean you knew about this already?”
“I mean, Shawn told me once that he liked Easter at my house way more because there was no ‘manhunt training’, but I thought he just meant something like when his dad would have him stakeout their porch.”
“He what?”
“It, sounds worse than it is. … I think.” Gus looks down at the old notebook again. “I thought. … I mean, Henry was always a little intense. When Shawn and I were boyscouts he used to set up challenges that were impossible to win, and then make us feel bad for not winning.”
“What do you mean, impossible to win?” Lassiter is starting to get concerned now. Shawn’s incessant need to show everyone up has been a pain in his ass for years, and if Henry reinforced that grating attitude and now acts like he tried to quell it-
“Stuff like telling us to go find a rocket in the middle of the woods and then going and grabbing it himself. He used to promise us ice cream if we won, then say he’d eat it himself if we didn’t win next time.” Gus’s face pinches the more he talks about the memories. “Gosh, I haven’t thought about that in years. I guess I didn’t realize how messed up that is until I said it out loud.”
“It’s horrible,” Jules says.
“But not criminal,” Lassiter reminds her. “And as… weird and dangerous as the eggs thing is, that’s not criminal either. … I think.”
“What about the trunk, Carlton?”
“... Yeah, that part’s looking pretty bad.”
Gus shuts the notebook. “We need to talk to Shawn about this. I don’t know if I’m even remembering right, but I know he will.”
“He’d never open up about something like this,” Jules says, gesturing to the notebook and letting her arms drop back to her sides with a flop. “He barely tells me about his childhood at all.”
“Well I was there for most of it, and I need to make sure I didn’t miss some serious abuse going down for our entire lives. Do you know how many times I’ve defended his dad to him, Juliet? … Oh my god, on that same boyscout trip with the rocket, he told me his dad had never said he loved him!”
Lassiter doesn’t need to look at Jules to know she’s probably seething with the rage of the entire underworld- if he believed in such a thing.
Henry better hope they find out it’s not as bad as it’s seeming.
—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When Shawn gets home, Jules, Lassiter, and Gus are all sitting on the couch looking somber. Well, Jules and Gus look somber. Lassiter looks mildly offput.
“Guys! What’s all this, are we having some kinda surprise party?” Shawn looks around for decorations, but there’s nothing. He looks back with excitement. “Is it a case? A big one?”
“Shawn, sit down, we need to ask you about something.” Jules gestures for him to take a seat on a different chair.
“Uh-oh. That’s not your happy voice.” Shawn sits down and leans forward. “Hey, babe, what’s wrong?”
Jules takes a deep breath, and pulls out the notebook. Shawn looks at it. “Oh, that? Please don’t tell me that my drawing skills when I was eight are a dealbreaker.”
“Shawn, did Henry…” Jules falters. Shawn’s expression…
It doesn’t harden, per say. It just… shifts. Becomes a little closed-off.
“Spencer, did Henry actually make you dig through broken glass to find ridiculous holiday candy?” Lassiter says, offering Jules his hand for support. She takes it.
Shawn’s mouth quirks up in the corner, a huff-laugh escaping him. His eyes aren’t as amused, a dark look in them. “What? How-how’d you know about that?”
“Oh my god.” Gus looks sick.
“Guys, seriously, what is this?” Shawn reaches out and snatches the notebook, flipping through it. Fast at first, and then slower. The slight smirk disappears completely, and Jules and Gus know that habit of sticking his tongue over his teeth means Shawn is not in a good emotional space whatsoever as he reads.
He closes the notebook and tosses it onto the coffee table, sitting back into the chair and sniffling. “It’s uh- it’s nothing.”
“Dude, that is not nothing. I thought you were making that stuff up when we were kids!”
“What? Why would I make that up?” That just seems to confuse Shawn.
“Because you were always making things up!”
“Not about my dad! You were like, the one person I could talk about him with! You thought I was lying about everything the whole time?” Now he looks hurt.
“Not everything, but crazy stuff like him locking you in a trunk in the middle of a hot day and putting broken glass over your eggs, yeah! Oh my go- this makes me look back on everything I know in a completely different light, Shawn!”
“Okay, you can’t actually be this surprised, Gus. I mean, you were at my house all the time, you know how he was. We couldn’t even play hide-and-seek without me getting a lecture about hunting perps the right way.” The bitterness in his voice is familiar to his friends, the way he keeps from meeting their eyes, the arms crossed over his chest and tense body language. It’s not that they’ve never seen him like this. But they’ve never seen him like this and truly understood it. Even Gus.
Gus, who looks increasingly horrified as he thinks back on more and more memories. “When we were really little and you told me your dad would throw you out for reading comics, were you serious?”
Shawn scoffs a little. “No, I wasn’t.”
“Did he actually ban them?”
“... Yeah. That part he did. He said they made cops look bad.”
“Good god, Spencer, you’re talking like everything in your house was about cops twenty-four-seven.”
“Gee, Lassie, I wonder why. You’ve met my dad, right?”
“But you’re talking like he expected you to be a perfect cop from the second you were born.”
Shawn goes silent. He still won’t look at any of them.
“Oh, my god.” Jules reaches out to put a hand on Shawn’s knee. “Shawn, did he expect that?”
“... Look, guys, it’s… it’s done, alright? It is what it is, and… I’ve accepted that, and I’m working on making things work with my dad. I don’t… I don’t need this. Okay? I don’t want to think about it and get all…” He huffs. “Last time I thought a little too hard about all this stuff I ended up on my motorcycle with nowhere to go, and-and I don’t want to do that again, alright?”
“Shawn, this is important. We’re all working with Henry constantly, watching how he treats you, and this changes how some of that looks.”
“How?” Shawn finally looks at Jules, right in the eyes. “How does this change anything? He’s the same person, Jules. He-he’s controlling, and-and expects way too much, and is disappointed in me. That’s not different now just because you know he went overboard with stuff when I was a kid.”
Lassiter lets out a deep breath. He’d really… really been hoping this wouldn’t be the case. “How overboard, Spencer?”
Shawn looks at Lassie, and then clicks his tongue and looks away again. “Not in that way, man. He never hit me or anything.”
“So what did he do?”
“Why is this an interrogation?” Shawn stands up, pulling away from Jules’s outstretched hand. “This is stuff for me, and my dad to hash out, okay? Just me and him.”
“Did your mom know about this stuff?” Gus asks.
The mention of his mom seems to make Shawn shut down even more. “Now this is really over.” He walks away, and pauses for just one second to turn around and say, “Don’t- don’t go my dad about all this. I don’t want…”
“... Don’t want what, Shawn?” Jules’s voice is soft and careful.
Shawn doesn’t seem to be able to find the end of the thought. He just shakes his head and walks back out the door.
The three sit in silence for a minute. Jules has tears in her eyes. Gus looks almost shellshocked.
Lassiter stands up. “Alright, I’m officially taking lead on this case.” He looks down at his partner. “O’Hara, find out who in the precinct knew Henry well and still works there. We’ll interview anyone who he might’ve talked to his son about, see if we can dig up any leads there.”
“Whoa, Shawn just said he didn’t want his dad finding out we’re asking about all this, and we just learned he’s way worse than we thought,” Gus says, standing up too. “We can’t start poking around the precinct, because in case you forgot Lassie, he works there!”
“Part-time.”
“He’ll know something is up.”
“Please. I think I know how to run a discreet investigation, Guster.”
“Could you hide something like that from Shawn?”
“... Of course.”
“No, you couldn’t, and if you can’t hide it from Shawn it’s a safe bet that you can’t hide it from his dad.”
Jules stands up. “No, Carlton is right. None of us realized how these pieces fit together until we all talked about it with each other, right? If Shawn won’t… can’t, open up to us about it, the next best thing is getting as many witness statements as possible.”
“Why? It just feels like digging things up to dig them up at this point.”
“Because Henry is currently in charge of Spencer’s livelihood, Guster.”
“I know! He’s in charge of part of mine too!”
“Right.” Jules looks up at Lassiter. “And if we can prove to The Chief that Henry has a negative, unreliable bias against Shawn, we can lessen some of that control!”
“As much as I’d hate to see Spencer off the leash again, I’d hate to be helping enable an abuser even more,” Lassiter agrees.
“Abuser is a strong word.” Gus doesn’t look like he feels that sentence is 100% true. “He wasn’t all bad a lot of the time. I mean, he loosened up on the comic thing when we were older.”
“We know he cares, Gus,” Jules assures. “But, caring doesn’t mean he didn’t do something wrong. Really, really wrong.”
Gus swallows, and then nods. “I know.”
—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
They collect a good few statements over the next week.
One statement claims that Shawn would play poker with some of the officers when Henry brought him to the station- why Henry was bringing a seven year old to an active police station and then not keeping an eye on him was something that went unanswered- and that Henry was obviously upset when he discovered this. Another statement corroborated the story, and added that he caught sight of Henry taking all the money Shawn made from the games and shoving it into the police donation box.
One statement was from an elderly file sorter, who claimed that Shawn was sometimes sent down to grab files for his dad and used to complain to her that henry would only buy Shawn cop car toys, and no others. When she’d asked Shawn if he wanted to be a cop when he grew up, Shawn had reportedly said quote, “Something about not getting a choice.” Other statements claimed, when this was brought up, that Shawn seemed very excited by the idea of being a cop when he grew up- until his arrest.
One statement, given by someone Lassiter vaguely remembers being rookies with back in the day, lends more credibility to the recollections of the elderly woman. The statement claimed that when the rookie would go on ride-alongs with Henry or work under him, Henry would almost always complain about Shawn. Everything from Shawn having an interest that didn’t relate to being a cop, to Shawn ‘acting like a child’ when he would have been under twelve according to the timeline, to Shawn ‘not even trying’ during a specific incident where Henry claimed Shawn forged his signature to go on a field trip and quote “hesitated for a second with his pen or something- I remember it was something really minor, and Henry couldn’t stand it. I thought it was weird that he was teaching his son how to forge signatures and then expecting the kid to never use the skill, but it wasn’t really my place to say.”
By the end of the week, Jules is steaming and Shawn hasn’t come around the precinct at all. Gus keeps dropping by, digging up old journals of his own to use as cross-references when possible. Shawn is quiet with Jules at home, like he’s waiting for something big to happen and he’s worried he could trigger it early.
It makes Jules more upset at Henry, because now her boyfriend’s emotional immaturity seems a lot less like a natural childish nature and a lot more like having genuinely never been taught how to handle anything.
No, according to the information she and Lassiter have gathered, it looks like all Henry taught Shawn was that winning is everything, being the best is non-negotiable, and Shawn was born to be a cop and anything that didn’t align with that idea just… shouldn’t be there.
“Wow.” Lassiter tosses the latest statement onto his desk. “And I thought Henry didn’t discipline Spencer enough as a kid. Some of this stuff makes it sound like Spencer grew up in a boot camp.”
“He basically did,” Jules says bitterly, reading over one of Gus’s old notebooks. “Gus wasn’t even looking for evidence of it, and these journals are full of casual, offhand observations that look worse and worse the more we know. Listen to this one. ‘Today Shawn was in a bad mood, and when I asked him why he said his dad stole his mood ring after showing him to turn the box upside-down. I said that’s cheating, and Shawn said it can’t be if his dad said to do it.’ Who the hell steals a mood ring from a kid?”
“You’re getting caught on the small stuff again, O’Hara.”
“I know, I know. I just- now that we know some of the major things, even the small stuff is making me just unbelievably angry.”
“Yeah, it’s rough to read. At least you and I wanted to be cops.”
“Right? No wonder Shawn ended up a psychic detective, how do you just do something else after being raised so specifically like that? And no wonder he-he buys EasyBake Ovens and goofs off all the time, he had it so strict as a kid…”
“Mmmmm… let’s not excuse every antic, O’Hara. A lot fo it is still just him being a jackass.”
“I won’t get into this with you again, Carlton.”
“Good, I don’t want to get into it again either. … Heads up.”
Jules closes the notebook and tucks it into a desk drawer as swiftly and inconspicuously as possible, Lassie doing the same for his file. Henry walks past them, barley sparing a glance as he makes his way somewhere else.
Jules stares daggers at him so intensely that if dropped to the ground covered with enough puncture wounds to imitate Julias Caesar, Lassiter would think it was a mild scene all things considered.
—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It’s three weeks since Jules found the notebook when Shawn rolls over in bed, puts his arm around, and mumbles “I have an eidetic memory.”
Jules puts her book down and looks at Shawn with furrowed brows. “What?”
Shawn sighs and sits up properly. “I have an eidetic memory,” he says again, “And… I don’t like looking back, because I remember everything perfectly. Which means I usually remember what I felt perfectly too, and it usually wasn’t great feelings.” He can’t look her in the eyes this time, either, but instead of the tense, protective body language of before, he’s holding a pillow close to his chest and slightly burying his face into it, almost sagging around it.
Jules starts to rub his back. She knows how hard this kind of… difficult emotional discussion, is for him. Now she even knows why- suspects why, really, because not all of it is proven in full, but still she thinks she can cout is as knowing. “Why didn’t you tell me about this before?”
“About the memory?”
“Yeah. That sounds… really difficult to deal with, Shawn. Does Gus know?”
“Yeah, he knows. I think other than my dad, and… and you, he’s the only person who knows.”
“Shawn…”
“I just, I just want you to know… that I’m not asking you to drop it for no reason,” Shawn says, “Or-or because I don’t feel like it’s important. I know it is, I do. I just…”
“Don’t want to relive a lot of it,” Jules says softly. “... Shawn, does this mean you remember everything perfectly? All the time?”
“Eh… fifty-fifty. The ADHD gets in the way sometimes.”
“... But when it doesn’t?”
“I just try not to think about a lot of it.” Shawn moves again, to look her in the eyes, He takes a deep breath, and he looks a little pained. This kind of thing is painful for him, he’s so unsure how to navigate it. “I have to keep moving forward, Jules. It’d be so… so easy to just get stuck, forever, in all the stuff stored in my head. And I’m really, really trying to, I mean that. It’s difficult, and I’m not… always great at it, but I’m trying.”
“And you’re worried we’ll set you back?”
“No! No, I… I don’t know.” Shawn lets Jules pull him close to her chest and begin running her hand through his hair. “My dad and I don’t solve stuff, Jules. We just… argue over it. I’m getting tired of it.”
“... I understand.” She kisses the top of his head. “But I don’t like him being in charge of you when you’re a grown man anymore.”
“You think I do? … But it’s making him a lot happier than he’s been in a long time.”
“You should be happy too, Shawn.”
“Hey. Hey, I am happy.” He looks up into her eyes. “Look at me right now. I’m being cradled like a sweet little baby seal by the most beautiful, badass woman in the entire world. Of course I’m happy.”
Jules laughs a little and contorts a bit to kiss him on the mouth. “I’m glad you told me that, Shawn. And I promise, I won’t ask you to relive anything else for me.”
“... But you’re not going to stop investigating my dad, are you?”
“Did you stop with mine?”
“... Fair enough.” Shawn lays his head back down, and soon enough Jules hears soft snoring from him and mumbled phrases in his sleep.
…
An eidetic memory. Perfect recall.
—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When Jules goes over everything they have so far knowing Shawn has a perfect memory, it makes her angry to such a degree that she thinks it might kill her. Not literally, but it feels strong enough.
She has some of Shawn’s old report cards, some statements she got from former teachers via social media contact, and some copies of pages of one of Gus’s old journals laid out in front of her, and she sees a pattern.
Shawn didn’t do good in school. His report cards are less than average, and are packed with notes about how he doesn’t pay attention, doesn’t seem to absorb any information, and doesn’t remember anything he’s taught. The statements from the teachers describe Shawn as hyperactive, passionate about everything but his schoolwork, and having difficulty with staying observant in class.
Gus’s old journals are full of the same, but also the opposite. Shawn didn’t pay attention in school, but sometimes he could pull something the teacher said from his memory word for word without even trying, and then a few entries later Gus would mention Shawn failed a test on that exact subject. Shawn got beat up because he told a bully he memorized the pattern of answers used in the math tests, but his dad told the teacher and let Shawn know he was doing it. And most of all, Gus writes about how freaky his friend’s ability to look at people and figure them out is. How Shawn notices almost everything almost all the time, and usually makes some dramatic conclusion that isn’t right, but he still notices things and Gus can’t figure out how Shawn fingers things out.
Detective training, and an eidetic memory, and psychic visions. Jules is now pretty sure that Shawn covers up some of his deductions using his visions- he’s known enough impossible information that they can’t possibly all be deductions in disguise, but when she thinks back there’s a few times where it’s obvious in hindsight he used his abilities to cover up the fact that he’s an incredible, highly-trained detective.
Maybe she’s jumping to a conclusion, but she finds herself thinking ‘Because Henry made him hate that he can do it so well,’ as she pieces it all together.
Gus’s journals lend a lot of credit to that theory. Shawn is smart, and Gus knows it, but Shawn acts dumb sometimes and Gus doesn’t understand why, and then Gus mentions that it’s weird that Henry kept Shawn up all night before to stakeout their porch and now Shawn is tired during Little League and Henry tells him to get his head in the game because Henry is the coach.
Henry is the coach, Henry is the chaperone on the field trip, Henry is their Scout Master- he’s in charge of every part of Shawn’s life except for school. And Maddie is rarely brought up, even when Gus writes about spending all day or night or even weekend at the Spencer house. Jules hasn’t seen Shawn’s Mom since Yang almost blew her up, and she just figured that Maddie wanted to stay out of Santa Barbara after that, understandably. She’s getting a different feeling about Maddie staying away now. It seems a lack of presence was her main impression in Shawn’s life, or at least, Shawn’s life through the lens of Child Gus.
So it was basically just Henry. And her heart aches for the thought of someone being stuck in a bad marriage, basically raising a kid alone, and that kid being as hyper and curious and chaotic as Shawn. But the ache is smothered in the sense of righteous rage when she reads other entries about things like a girl throwing a ball at Shawn and missing, and an ostrich choking on the ball, and Henry dragging Shawn away. The entry goes on to say that Shawn told Gus that Henry didn’t believe him when he said he didn’t do it, even after then-superior officer Captain Connors came in and tried to vouch for Shawn.
Henry always assumed the worst. Assumes, the worst, still.
Shawn tries so hard, sometimes, with his dad, and Jules is starting to realize that Henry doesn’t put the same effort in. He tries some, she knows it, she’s seen it, but she also sees him constantly berate, put down, and insult Shawn, publicly and privately.
Suddenly she remembers something from when Shawn went undercover on the dating show, something she’d been too upset over about Shawn being there at all to really take in in the moment.
“I’m sorry, this woman is way too good for my son. If it was me, I’d vote no.”
She doesn’t have Shawn’s memory, so without rewatching the clip she can’t be totally sure those are Henry’s exact words, but she’s certain that it’s the exact sentiment.
First of all, she takes a little offense to that for herself. But secondly and more strongly, she takes offense for Shawn. As she thinks about it she can remember the way Shawn tried to cover up the awkwardness in the clip, the way the girl on the show whispered “Is this a joke?” and the way it absolutely was not. The way Henry said that on TV, to Shawn’s face, with no hint of shame.
“O’Hara.” She looks up to see Lassiter holding a cup of coffee and a bagel for her. She takes them and Lassiter says, “There’s more steam coming out of your ears than there is that cup.”
“Sorry,” she sighs. “I just… I don’t know if I can control myself tomorrow when Henry comes back in. The more I dig into this, the more I want to just- go back in time and pick little Shawn up and take him somewhere better.”
“Well as much as we don’t like it, O’Hara, Spencer is who he is because he was raised the way he was raised.”
“I know. And I like, who Shawn is!”
“Inexplicably.”
“Carlton.”
“Mmm.”
“Anyway… I love Shawn, and who he is, all of him, but I still wish he could’ve been who he is without going through all of this. It’s not okay.”
“No. No, it’s not.” Lassiter sighs. “Look, O’Hara, put the case down for a while. At this point we’ve got enough to at least make The Chief doubt some of Henry’s intentions and judgements when it comes to Spencer and, well, that was the goal.”
“... Yeah. Yes, okay, I will… I will put this down for a few days.” Jules closes up the file and puts it back into her drawer. “Shawn is still less than happy I’m working on this, anyway. He understands why, but I know he wishes he didn’t.” He probably understands a lot of things he wishes he didn’t. Jules has had to grapple with the realization that she actually doesn’t know as much about how Shawn’s mind works as she thought she knew, and that it’s possible she’ll never know a lot of it. There’s more than just psychic visions to the mystery of his mind, and some of those mysteries are locked up with a key cast out of self-resentments and resentments of his dad.
God, she hopes she can keep up a poker face when Henry comes in.
—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Her file is missing from her desk the next day, and so is Lassiter’s. They both know why.
They march over to Henry’s desk just as Gus comes in to collect a check, and all three end up standing over Henry as he openly and unashamedly reads through the Spencer Upbringing Case File. Gus takes a step back when he realizes that’s what’s happening, as does Lassiter.
But not because of Henry.
Jules looks murderous.
Henry purses his mouth in a frown and nods, raising up the file and then closing it and tossing it onto his desk in one smooth movement. “It’s comprehensive,” he says, like he’s grading a paper. “But it’s a bunch of biased bull.”
“Give them back.” Jule’s voice is ice-cold.
Henry shrugs, moving his head side to side for a second, still frowning, and then says, “Nah.” He takes the files, and drops them in the trash. “I think you owe me an explanation for why the head detective and his partner are investigating the way I raised my son. Why’d Shawn put you up to this?”
“He didn’t.”
Henry scoffs. “Yeah, right.”
Jules slams one hand onto Henry’s desk. The whole bullpen goes quiet.
“I was helping Shawn get something from your house, and I found a notebook,” she says.
“Oh, so, you found one of Shawn’s little projects where he exaggerated things to make himself look like a victim of the world?”
“I found the writings of a little kid who didn’t seem to realize at the time of writing that being locked in a hot car trunk and digging through broken glass for Easter Eggs wasn’t normal.”
Henry laughs, crossing his arms. “That’s what you have a problem with? It’s called training, detective. You went through it yourself.”
“When I was an adult, by my choice, and I sure as hell never had to dig through glass.”
“You’re really hung up on that.”
“Because it’s genuinely evil!”
Henry’s smug look melts into a scowl. “How dare you.”
“How dare I?! Do you understand how much all of this is still affecting Shawn, even right now?! He can barely talk about all of this!” “Oh, well, he sure seem capable of reminding me of it.”
“Because you did it! You’re the only other person in the entire world who understood what was done to him in the name of training because you did it!”
“Done to h- you’re overreacting, detective!”
“I, agree, what is going on out here?” Chief Vick hurries over to Henry’s desk from her own. “Detectives, there had better be a damn good reason-”
“There is, Chief.” Lassiter reaches into the trashcan and pulls out the files.
“Karen, Detective O’Hara has allowed her romantic entanglement with my son to-”
“Henry was borderline abusive during Shawn’s childhood,” Jules interrupts, facing her Chief. Chief Vick’s eyes widen and her mouth drops open, a disbelieving laugh escaping her even as she accepts the files and flips them open. “You understand what it is you’re alleging, O’Hara, and against who?”
“I do, Chief, and I think our case file speaks for itself.” All eyes are on them now. Jules doesn’t back down. “I’m well aware of my emotional ties to this case, but I assure you I’m not allowing it to cloud my judgment. If I was, I wouldn’t have used the word borderline to describe the conclusions I’ve come to.”
“Karen, this is ridiculous.”
But Chief Vick is focused on the files in her hands. Her eyes flick up to Henry. “Is it?” She looks over to Gus, who’s been watching with the quiet tension of a prey animal waiting to make a run for it. “Mister Guster, can you genuinely testify to the validity and accuracy of the claims in these files?”
“Oh, um, well, most of those are from my own journals.” Gus’s eyes flick between Henry and Jules. “I’d say that’s even more reliable than just plain memory.”
“It certainly is.” Chief Vick turns her eyes back to the file. “Henry, I think after I’m done going through these we’re going to have a chat about some of your current responsibilities and extent of authority over consultants.”
“Oh, come on, Karen!” Henry looks around at the entire precinct staring, and judging. “This is completely unfounded, and-and blown way out of propor-!”
Henry doesn’t finish the sentence because Juliet O’Hara punches him in the nose.
There’s gasps from everyone in the room. Jules’s fist is bloodied. Henry’s nose went CRUNCH! when her fist made contact.For a long moment it’s like the whole room has collectively stopped breathing.
“I don’t make unfounded accusations, Henry,” Jules breathes. “Especially not when I have been building a case for over a month, and have watched Shawn completely close off whenever I asked him about this.”
Henry holds his nose, looking at Jules with fear that Lassiter and Gus don’t think is nearly intense enough. “Juliet,” Henry pants, blood streaming out from between his fingers. “This is insane.”
“Quiet, Spencer.” Lassiter moves Jules a little farther away. Her fist is still raised. “I won’t tolerate you disrespecting my partner, especially not in the same way you do your son.”
“What?! You can’t believe all this too, Lassiter.”
“You know I’m not Shawn’s biggest fan, but if you think what O’Hara has done over the last month is anything less than the best damn investigation possible then I have to seriously reconsider some of our shared opinions of your son’s work.”
Gus glances at a box of tissues on Henry’s desk- and then subtly moves to knock them on the floor and kicks them away.
“Herny, I’m going to have to ask you to step away from the precinct for a few days while this gets handled. O’Hara, I’m going to need to speak with you in my office.”
Jules lowers her fist, and nods. She knows she can’t just punch Henry and get away with it scot-free, and she accepts that.
No-one moves to help Henry. Not a single soul. He grumbles as he makes his way past Gus to grab a different box of tissues.
“It’s like he just sucks the respect out of people,” Henry grumbles.
CRACK!
No-one is more surprised than Gus when his fist slams into Henry’s jaw. Gus reels away immediately, shrinking and cradling his hand, as Henry goes down.
“Mister Guster!” Chief Vick moves forward to try and catch Henry.
“Uuuuh!” Guss whines, shaking his hand. “I-I mean, you don’t get to say that about Shawn! He asked us not to keep doing this! You gotta stop assuming the worst of him all the time!”
“When he earns it!” Henry barks out, then groans and spits. It’s mostly blood.
“You won’t let him earn it!” Jules is furious again. “How many killers does he have to catch for you to see that your son is an amazing man?!”
“It’s not about catching killers,” Henry says, spitting again. “It’s about growing up.”
“Says the grown man who can’t even tell his son ‘I love you’.”
“He doesn’t say it either.”
“That’s not helping your case, Spencer.” Lassiter has his eyes on Jules and Gus. “And considering I’m the only one on said case who hasn’t taken a shot at you yet, I’d say keep your mouth shut.”
“Oh, what do you know.” Henry spits a third time. The Chief looks about ready to punch him herself. “Father-son relationships are complicated, especially when the father wants what’s best for the son and the son just wants to throw everything away and get himself killed!”
“You wanted him to be a cop, Spencer, you didn’t exactly put him on a path to a peaceful and easy life.”
“I put him on the right path, and he never appreciated it, and that is what your case file should say!”
“You know what, Spencer?” Lassiter takes a step closer to the bleeding man. “I’ve put up with a lot of crap from both you and your son over the years, and you two are a lot more similar than you think. But one thing I can say that Shawn has over you is that he doesn’t mean it when he says stupid crap like that.”
“He looks up to you, you ass,” Jules adds. “And he is willing to put aside all of the things you say and do to him to have a good relationship with you. Do you understand how incredible that is? That you don’t even have to work to have him in your life? That he comes to you no matter how many times you tear into him for it?”
“He comes to me because he never listens when he needs to.” Henry’s face is starting to become very purple as the bruises set in. “I don’t know what he’s been telling you, but he needs, my help.”
“Exactly! And he feels like you’re reliable enough to give it to him, and you do! So why do you treat that as though it’s a fault? Do you have any idea what I would have given as a kid, and even now, to be able to just-just go up to my dad and say ‘I need help,’ and have him be there to help me? That means the world!”
“Not to Shawn.” Henry looks pained beyond just the broken nose and possible broken jaw. “The kid is too focused on himself.”
“You don’t know your son at all, then.” Jules turns and walks with The Chief to her office.
Gus shakes his head, grabs the check out of Henry’s paperwork pile, checks that it’s signed, and leaves.
“Oh, really? It’s up to me to take him to the hospital?” Lassiter looks around and then huffs. “Alright, Spencer. Don’t bleed on my seats, or my dashboard, or anything but yourself.”
“I’m not a bad father,” Henry says, still holding his nose. “I care about my son.”
“Yeah, and somehow Shawn knows that even though you act the way you do.” Lassie buckles Henry in for him so that the nose remains pinched. “But here’s the thing, Spencer. Your son is an arrogant, attention-hogging, impulsive, completely absurd person, and he didn’t just become like that out of a vacuum.”
“Yes he did. I did everything I could. I did everything right as much as possible.”
Lassiter sighs as he gets into the driver’s seat. “You seriously think that? You’d be okay with your grandkid being raised that way?”
“If they had Shawn’s potential, yes.”
“... Dammit.” Lassiter turns to Henry, and punches him in the gut. Henry coughs, and then chokes on his own blood, and then coughs again.
“What the hell?!” Henry gets out between hacks.
“O’Hara would’ve done it. I feel like I owed it to her. … And honestly, Spencer, after compiling that damn case, I’ve been wanting to do it for myself anyway. I already knew you were an overbearing perfectionist with a control issue, but you wishing your son was more like that than he is is even worse.”
“Shawn’s no perfectionist,” Henry wheezes.
“But he is overbearing with a control issue more often than not. Like I said inside, you two are a lot more similar than you think, and frankly I blame you for the parts of Shawn that go past mild annoyance and into infuriating obstacle.”
“I’d never just hand a collar over to save someone’s ego,” Henry coughs out.
“See, that’s where I wish Shawn wasn’t like you.”
“He’s handed you a collar twice.”
“What? He has not.”
And Henry must be a little delirious from the repeated blows, because Lassiter is pretty sure his next words of “See, this is why Shawn should’ve been head detective,” wouldn’t come out of him otherwise.
Lassiter grips the steering wheel tighter and makes a sharp turn into the hospital parking lot. “Well he’s not, and from the sound of things he never would’ve been anyway.”
“He could’ve been a perfect cop.”
“He’d have been miserable and you know it.”
“He’d be doing things right.”
“You’re hopeless.” Lassiter isn’t any gentler helping Henry out of the car than he was helping him in. “I’m not picking you back up when they’re done with you.”
“I’ll call Shawn.”
“Yeah, I’m sure you will.” And Shawn will come, and probably be mad on his dad’s behalf, and will definitely be mad at all three of the punchers, because he loves his dad enough to overlook years and years of mistreatment that most people would probably consider ground for cutting contact. “And Spencer? If you ever insult O’Hara’s work again, or say anything that gets her that angry, I will help her cover up your disappearance.”
“You don’t mean that,” Henry scoffs.
“Try me.” Lassiter gets back in his car. “And if I hear from her that you’re still badmouthing your son to his face, I’ll make you disappear myself.”
And then he drives away.
And Henry walks into the hospital alone.
#psych#psychusa#psych usa#psych 2006#blood tw#blood mention#violence#juliet o'hara#carlton lassiter#burton guster#burton gus guster#shawn spencer#henry spencer hate#I hate Henry Spencer#psychfic#fanfic#my attemps at fanfic#abuse mention#child abuse mention#past child abuse mention
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Warning: Rudy gets VERY sappy and a lot of people are abt to be tagged n told how radical they are IM SORRY THAT YOURE GETTING A STUPID NOTIF LIKE THIS
So the past.... Month. Has been very eventful. Coping with a rough break up, work being hard. I'm almost 21 I kinda figured it'd be rough being in my 20s. I really was expecting it to be the end of the world, but then I made a really good choice.
I joined a few discord servers over this month, and I can't begin to explain just how wonderful that's been for my mental health.
I've made so many new beautiful friends who just mean the world to me, and those new friends along with old friends and my beautiful angel wife who's stuck with me while we both heal, it's just nice.
I wanna say a few words [or a lot words. I'm a yapper] and I jus wanna really detail my appreciation for the following people.
@your-pal-smoochins, my perfect angel wife. You and I have had a lot of things against us. You've been such an amazing support system through these past couple years and I don't tell you enough just how much I love and appreciate everything you do for me. You lift me up when I really need it and I've never felt more loved than when you've been by my side. Thanks for being my rock, my sun moon and stars, and just thank you for being mine. You do so much more than you give yourself credit for, having escaped the situation you were in and going to college. You're so strong, and you're my beautiful angel forever.
@carbonateddelusion Rox! You were one of the first friends I made when everything got locked down and my first memory of you was drawing some of my guys. I dunno if you know but those gifts are still in my phone. I look at those and your newer stuff and I'm just beyond amazed at your progress. You've been a really amazing friend and I love you, man. You really rock, rox [yes that was on purpose]
@toondamien Damien!! one of my very first tumblr friends and the guy who lets me use his oc for my story stuff! You're a little older than me, and as such you've kinda been a role model to me. I still look up to you [metaphorically, hehe] and I'm glad you're my No. 1 DSAF mutual. You're great, dude.
@springlucked Spring. Though we only started talking recently, you are still someone I consider a dear friend. Your fics got me out of some really bad art blocks and my really low days. While Dearly Detested makes me cry and fills me with just the right amount of emotions to break a tree in half, you are so awesome. Your writing is so good and you're so humble when you get gift art from people regarding your fics. You are like a slightly bothersome little sister and for that I love you, ya lil punk.
@dexabite Dex Dane Dexabite Freakabite Miller Jekyll Jade [not real name. obviously] my sworn enemy /j. Your art rocks. Your art inspired a lot of my more detailed pieces and your character design stuff actually made me wanna branch out more not just with character design, but also poses and colors! You're an inspiration to this guy who mainly draws that dumb orange boy and ily /p
@igottoo MJ!! Like if I was a second person! You rock dude. Your art? slaps. Your animation? slaps. Your insane jokes? Slaps. you unintentionally gave me a pose reference that made me leap out of my comfort zone and yknow what? People loved it!! And thats because you're so cool! We scarily have a lot in common so the reasonable assumption is we are in fact the same guy [silly] but i love you to BITS /p. My lagomorphed brethren and the guy I'll be sending my Dave doodles to before showing the public. You're a bro, dawg. As the No. 1 Old Sport fan I'm VERY glad I'm best pals with THE No. 1 Dave Miller fan.
thank you all for being my friends. You guys make my heart full and make me wanna keep working towards being a good person
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Late Night Walk
Oneshot Masterpost (for more Neighborhood AU!)
The sound of the air conditioner in your room seems to be all you can focus on, brows furrowed in frustration as you glare at the ceiling like it insulted your favorite guardian figure. You'd tried everything to prevent this, yet here you are..having another sleepless night, your thoughts racing around your head like cars on a track. Eventually your anger gets the better of you and you sit up, tossing your covers aside and grabbing a thin jacket from your closet on your way outside. You'll just wear yourself out, that'll do it.
The differently colored houses of your neighborhood greet you once you open the door, each one fitting a different duo of skeletal brothers from vastly different universes. Yours, Fell, Swap, Swapfell, Horror..the list goes on. Naturally, all the lights are off apart from the streetlights since it's insanely late. Nothing out of the ordinary there. However, there is still something, or rather someone standing on his front porch, who perks up when he sees you walk out and lock your door behind you.
You shoot him a wave and a smile as he stands, grabbing his skateboard from off the side of the porch and skating right across the street to reach you. Once he gets in your yard he stops, holding it under one of his arms as he finally manages to stand in front of you.
"hey, you. what'cha doin' up this late? that's my job, i'm the tired one." His voice is low and raspy as he jokes, earning a nudge from you as you check the time on your phone.
"I couldn't sleep. My brain's doing the thing again." You sigh, rubbing your tired eyes as he lets out a hum of understanding. "So, I figured I'd go out for a walk..didn't expect to see you out here. You wanna go with?"
You offer, silently hoping he'll say yes. The city can be dangerous at this hour if you run into the wrong crowds, and you didn't really want to test your encounter luck tonight.
"yeah, sure, why not? i've been up a while, stayed late at stretch's place to hang out. he fell asleep first, so he's gonna wake up with a face covered in marker doodles." You both start walking as he begins to talk, Rus putting his skateboard down to slowly roll beside you, making sure not to go too fast for you to keep up with.
You let out a laugh at the idea. "Dude, he's gonna kill you."
"he can try all he wants, but it didn't work the last five times." He grins smugly, earning an eye roll from you as you shake your head. These two have always been such troublemakers..they fit together like puzzle pieces despite how they look from an outsider's perspective.
"You're a mess."
"i know." He smiles, keeping his hands in his pockets as you both walk along the sidewalk. "but that's what makes me so great, right?"
"Something like that." You smile, looking up at the still-moonlit sky. He grins at the fact you didn't deny it, letting out a chuckle in reply.
"Well, I guess one good thing came out of my brain refusing to shut up." You look over at him, watching with an amused smile as he tilts his head in curiosity.
"yeah? what's that?"
"I get to hang out with one of my favorite guys." You smile fondly, catching him off guard. His cheekbones flush for a brief second before he shakes it off, nudging your shoulder.
"aww, i'm your favorite? how sweet." He drawls, earning a playful (and partially flushed) shove from you, almost knocking him off balance.
"I said "one of", chill."
"still a high honor." He holds up his phone, pausing a second to take a picture of the starry sky. You stop with him, watching him as he does so. He sticks his tongue out a little, the piercing there shining when the light hits it and his eyelights narrowing while he focuses, a small thing about him you hadn't really noticed before.
"gotta catch these views and keep 'em forever. plus it wouldn't hurt to post 'em on my main." He puts his phone down, skating again.
"How's commissions on your alt?"
"eh, it's alright. haven't got a ton yet but i'm sure someone'll want some art from me someday soon. i've been working on some stuff for the comic project, at least."
You perk up at that. "The one you and Stretch were talking about?"
"yeah, that's the one. we're pretty much just in the drawing board phase right now but you'll be the first to know when it's out. that's what you wanted, right?"
"Duh! Of course I do." You smile, already excited to see what the two boneheads come up with.
"well, i'll make sure to pester him about it so he remembers." He smiles, messing up your hair with a hand despite your protests and skating away when you reach over to grab him.
"Asshole."
"you love me." He grins.
"Debatable."
He gasps, putting a hand over his chest dramatically as he moves back over to you. "oh, how you wound me..i could just die right now, my heart could just explode!" He shuts his eyes, before cracking one open to see your face.
"You'll live, I promise." You smile, walking a little closer to him and shivering when you feel the nightly cold air. You wonder what it must be like as a skeleton, not being able to feel the weather out.. sure, the guys can feel hot and cold things when they touch them, but as for the wind? Nada. Must be a weird sensation.
He comes to a stop when you both reach the entrance to the city, holding out a hand for you to either take or refuse. You appreciate his silent offer, holding his hand to stay close as you both head further in. The city lights shine over the streets, neon signs advertising this and that anywhere you look. Colors bathe the normally gray atmosphere, filling it with life.
Your eyes drift over to the tall skeleton beside you, watching as he glances over every little thing and finding it hard to focus. He looks really nice under different kinds of lighting.. A lot of colors suit him in a weird way. His eyelights drift over to you when he notices you're staring, and you freeze. He looks briefly over your face, before giving you a smirk with lazy eyes.
Flushing, you quickly look away, feeling yourself die a little inside as he chuckles. A little tug on your hand brings you back to reality, and you look at him again. He points up ahead, and your gaze follows his finger to a corner store.
"it's still open, must be one of those twenty four hour ones. wanna go take a look?"
"I'm honestly surprised.. sure, why not? Maybe I can find some gifts."
He gasps.
"I'm not getting you one while you're with me. It ruins the fun."
"aww! c'mooon, just this once?" He blinks his eyes, acting almost like a puppy that wants a treat you just so happen to have in your hand.
"Nope, furget it."
"hah! nice." He chuckles, letting you lead him into the store. You both say a quick hello to the cashier, who simply nods in reply. You assume they don't really wanna be here right now, which would make sense. You know you wouldn't want to be stuck working here super late.
Dragging Rus' hand, you make your way over to the first aisle you see, looking for random things your neighbors might like. Naturally you'd want to go based off of their favorite colors.. Rus finds himself getting a bit distracted, looking above you at the taller rows. When he spots something silly looking, he reaches up an arm and pulls it down to show you, earning a laugh from both of you.
You can always find yourself having fun with Rus, no matter where you are. He's always messing around somehow. Upon first meeting him, Rus is a pretty quiet guy. He wouldn't speak unless spoken to, and when he and his brother had first moved in he stuck to his side like glue. But once he got to know you, it was like he became a whole other person.
You both perk up when you hear the Cashier shouting, turning to see what's going on. Leaning past the end of the aisle, you spot someone holding them at gunpoint with their face covered. Well, that's not good. Seems someone decided to rob the store super late for..whatever reason. Rus pulls you against his side in a protective manner as one of his eyelights flashes, indicating he's Checked the suspect. Furrowing his browbones, he turns your face so you look at him, whispering to you.
"wait here, i'm gonna handle this." He sounds serious, but..
"Dude, there is no way you're gonna confront some guy with a gun on your own. That's insane. Just wait for the police to show up-"
"the police aren't gonna get here in time, by then they'll be gone. i'll handle it. you can call 'em if you want, though. might help once i'm done."
"Done with what?" You look at him worriedly, and he gives you a reassuring smile before messing up your hair and walking past you. You reach out your hand to stop him but miss before you can grab his arm, watching as he steps forwards. You decide to call the police after all, speaking quietly.
"what's all this about?" He watches as the robber points his gun between him and the Cashier, who's currently shaking in their boots.
"Don't come any closer, or I'll shatter your souls!" He warns, hands slightly trembling as he aims his weapon at your friend.
"hey now, there's no need for that. just put the gun down and let's..talk for a bit, okay?" He holds up his hands dismissively, glancing over at the Cashier.
"I need this, so just stay out of it!" He fires the gun. You gasp as the operator on the phone is asking you for the location, looking over. Rus thankfully had managed to shortcut out of the way. Letting out a sigh of relief, you explain the situation to someone and wait.
"well, that was rude."
He holds up his hand, surrounding his opponent's soul with blue magic and slamming him down onto the ground. Once he's done that, he walks over and pulls off his mask, forming a cage of blue bones around him so he doesn't try anything funny.
"i wouldn't move, if i were you..it's dangerous."
He grins down at the now shaking man, before forcefully pulling the gun from his hands and sitting it on the other side of the cage where he can't reach it. You stand against the side of the aisle, mouth gaping as he walks back over.
"we're good now. just gotta wait for the police."
"Rus, respectfully, I think that was the hottest thing I've ever seen you do."
"what?-" He laughs in surprise, feeling his cheekbones flush with a pretty shade of purple. You smile at him, feeling heat rise to your cheeks as well.
After a few minutes of witty banter between the two of you, the police restrain the suspect. Since Rus managed to deal with him, you got to get a bunch of free stuff! So that was pretty sick. Despite how scary that was, at least you could get something out of it in the end.
Walking back towards your neighborhood, you find yourself holding Rus' hand the entire way there. He doesn't seem to mind it at all, skating at a pace you can keep up with.
"You're really cool, Rus. I can't believe you handled that so well." You turn to him, adjusting the bags in your opposite hand. He smiles at you, fangs shining a bit when the moonlight hits them.
"you pick up a thing or two when you live in an underground like mine. it was full of situations like that. i'm just glad nobody got hurt. ..well, he did, but for a good reason."
You let out a little laugh, continuing to move along the sidewalk.
"soooo.." He leans over a bit, smiling smugly. "did you grab a gift for me as well?"
You roll your eyes, stopping in place. He stops skating, holding the board in place.
"You know what? I did, actually."
"wait, seriously? i was just kidding, you didn't have to-"
You cut him off with a quick kiss to the cheek. He stares in stunned silence for a moment, as his face burns a bright shade of purple. So much so he's practically glowing in the dark.
"My hero." You grin, tugging him along again. He chuckles nervously as you both reach your respective homes, before bidding each other farewell.
Rus leans against the door, holding his hand over where you'd kissed him before burying his face into the neck of his sweater.
#sleeplessflower's oneshots#rus x reader#swapfell papyus x reader#undertale x reader#undertale au x reader#papyrus au x reader#sleeplessflower's neighborhood series#rus swapfell x reader
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How To Woo A Hot Principal
Step 10: Accusations and Heartache
Summary: Working at the Weathervane was exactly what you needed. The routine, the people, your co-workers. It certainly helped that a certain tall, blonde, fucking gorgeous woman happened to frequent the cafe. Now some may call hopelessly flirting with your customers inappropriate behavior.
But truly, when it came to Larissa Weems, who could blame you?
Two chapters in one day? A treat...a hurt-filled treat... BUT A TREAT. Also the icon @misssmephisto really just about wrote this chapter so pls give her all the love and thanks. She has the sexiest brain🦐✨
Tags: @variant-2402 @the-bagel24 @eveymay @kimiinou @muffintopxs @h-doodles @bbykens @lilfartbox1 @bigolgay @winterfireblond
(pls let me know if you want to be tagged/ I missed you!)
Chapter 9
Cross Posted on AO3 here
HTWAHP Masterlist
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Larissa had been working nonstop since the night of the Rave’n. Eugene had been admitted to the hospital shortly after Yoko had burst through the office doors. He was barely alive when they found him and had been stuck in a coma since. The doctors were able to stitch his wounds but whether he’d pull through was still unknown. You could tell she was stressed out, you honestly would’ve been way worse if you were in her situation.
You hadn’t seen her much in the last two days, she was almost always holed up in her office either on the phone, stuck in meetings or answering emails. You still brought her her morning coffee, but where before she would chat with you and give you a sweet little kiss, now she at best acknowledges you with an apologetic smile and more often was so busy she would barely notice you were there.
Her actions hurt more than you were willing to admit to yourself. You knew you weren’t the reason for her late nights and cold shoulder but a large nagging part of your brain couldn’t help but carry some guilt with your inability to help her.
But tonight would be different. After stewing in your emotions all morning, you decided on one way you could help. You left straight after your shift at the Weathervane to pick up ingredients and then rushed home to start cooking. You thought making her a nice, home-cooked dinner could help, she definitely needed a break and she probably hadn’t eaten very well in the last few days.
You managed to get everything ready in record time, packed it into a container and set off to Larissa’s. You knew she was stuck in a meeting until late tonight so you had plenty of time to get to her quarters and set everything up.
Everything was looking great. You had set up a cute little candle-lit dinner, complete with Larissa’s favourite wine and a fancy store-bought dessert. You somehow timed it so well that just as you were finishing up you heard Larissa enter her office. You check everything over once again and then peek your head through the door to her office.
She’s sitting at her desk, frowning at something on her laptop. She looks exhausted, more exhausted than you’ve ever seen her. Her shoulders are so tense they look like they may snap and the bags under her eyes darker than you’ve ever seen them. She definitely needs a break.
“Hey, fancy seeing you here.” You smile, stepping into the room.
“Hm? Oh hello, darling.” She says, barely glancing away from the screen.
“So uh, I know you’re busy and all but I thought maybe we could have a quick dinner? I’ve got everything ready and-“
“I can’t darling. This work really is urgent.” She interrupts.
“I-I know. It’s just, well we haven’t spent any time together recently and I’m sure you could use something to eat-“ you try.
She sighs, and you flinch at the sound.
“I-I just think you could use a break-“
“I don’t have time for that! These monster attacks are getting worse and the sheriff is breathing down my neck because he’s convinced it’s one of my students! So, no, I cannot waste my time on a silly little dinner.” She yells.
“I-I just…” you mumble, “I just wanted to help.”
“Well, you’re not helping! You can’t fix everything and your presence sure as hell hasn’t been making anything easier around here,” she continued, rubbing her eyes.
You took a step backwards, holding your breath for a moment and counting backwards in an effort to calm yourself. A trick you’d learned growing up after your parents had expressed their distaste for your anger one too many times.
“Larissa, I don’t understand. I thought-I’ve just been trying to make things easier for you. I never meant-“ You explained, trying t figure out what it was you had done.
Slamming her laptop shut, Larissa stood. She was deathly quiet before uttering the words “First, you distract me from my duties as Headmistress leading to not one but two separate attacks on my students whilst they were under my watch-“
“Larissa what-“ you stutter, retreating back towards the main office doors as her daunting figure draws closer.
“Secondly, you play this stupid game with my emotions blinding me to the truth of your actions. And then-“ she laughs “you try and distract me from the evidence with a silly dinner! I bet you’re just looking for an opportunity to see the evidence of your involvement and destroy this school from the inside out.”
You still at her words, your heart stopping in your chest. You don’t know where this is coming from and can feel yourself getting angrier. You glared up at her, clenching your shaking fists and promptly losing your shit.
“What the fuck Larissa?! You’re not making any fucking sense. I mean- What- why would I try to ‘destroy evidence’? And in what fucking universe am I involved in the attacks? I care about the kids here, I care about you! So, I don’t understand where you get off on taking everything I’ve done for you and turning it into some fucked up, cruel joke- but this is- Why the fuck would you think that??” you yell.
A beat passed, the two of you staring intently at each other.
“Why?” She questions, her voice neutral and calm. “Because you’re the Hyde. And it’s all part of your sick little game. I don’t know who your master is or if you’re the one in control but I don’t care. The nightmares of blood and destruction, the exhaustion, your funny little ‘medication’” her voice began to rise. “All clear signs, all of them. And you thought planting them as some innocent little suggestion would make me look past them but not anymore. I will never, ever allow you back into this school, on these grounds ever again, you vile beast.” Spitting the final word with disgust, Larissa turned, her heels clicking on the wooden floor as she returned to her desk.
“I’ll take your silence as an omission. Now get out, run back to your master Hyde, the sheriff will be here any moment.” She sneers, leaning back on her desk to glare at you.
Without realising it tears were running down your face, your whole body visibly shaking as you tried and begged yourself to hold it together.
“I didn’t-“ you sniffle, trying and failing miserably at holding in your tears. “I love you.”
Her face twitches at that, you can barely see through the pools in your eyes. She lifts her head, staring directly into your eyes, nothing but hatred and a deep sadness being held in her blue orbs.
“Get out.” She murmurs.
“But Larissa please I-“
“Just go!” She yells, slamming her hand on her desk.
You flinch at the noise before running from her office. Any tiny pieces of your heart that hadn’t shattered at the beginning of her rant are now very much in tiny shards. Your chest feels tight and you honestly have no idea where you’re going. You just know she doesn’t want you there, she thinks you’re some killer monster thing. She hates you.
You’re running as fast as you can, not even vaguely aware of your surroundings. You can feel branches scratch your face and the crunch of dying leaves beneath your feet, the smell of dirt and a storm yet to come surround you. Eventually you trip, falling to your knees in the middle of the woods outside Nevermore. Your entire body shakes as you sob, burying your face in your hands as you cry and cry and cry. Everything hurts. And nothing makes sense.
You just wanted to help, you wanted to make her happy.
Everything felt numb. The forest around you seemed to have stilled in your honour, exhausted and worn out from the winds that had been battering its leaves. It was dark and cold but you couldn’t bring yourself to move, simply stuck as time moved around you and the atmosphere of the woods consumed you.
You didn’t know how long it had been, not that you cared either. You’d left your phone on Larissa’s table ready to play some smooth, warming jazz by an artist you’d found called Miss D. She had the perfect voice, deep and romantic, exactly the tone you’d wanted to set for dinner. Your eyes burn at the thought, with no tears left to cry all that was created was a stinging pain.
As your brain accepted the soreness around your eyes, you slowly become aware of the way your hands and body ache after your run through the woods. It was too dark to see the true damage but you knew you’d be feeling the result for the next few days. The weight of everything sat on your chest, grief buried in your bones making your whole body feel heavy and immobile.
How could she think that of you?
Consumed in your thoughts, knees buried in the earth below you, you failed to hear your name being called. The voice grew more desperate, louder as you slowly turned your head in the direction of the disturbance.
Marylin? What’s she doing here? She shouldn’t be out here…didn’t all of the attacks happen in the woods? You really should warn her or something…
Your body didn’t seem to give a damn, aching inside and out, as you attempted to stand and make your way over to the fuzzy image of Marylin before you. If it weren’t for her boots and hair, you don’t think your brain would have seen her in the dark of the night.
You dug your fingernails into the trunk of a nearby tree, trying to use it as leverage to pull yourself up. The moon began to emerge from the clouds above casting an eerie shadow across the clearing around you.
Wait a second…why is Marylin moving so weirdly? She seems panicked, terrified even… Why is she waving at you like that?
Her fuzzy outline becomes clearer as the moonlight strikes her frame.
She looks like she’s shouting. What is she-?
Oh.
You felt it before you saw it. If you had been a bit more aware you’d have heard the loud snapping of twigs from behind you followed by a low growl. If only you’d been more aware you would have heard the ear-piercing cry of no leave her lips.
But you didn’t.
Your head lolled down, your eyes finally focusing. Five massive claws were buried through your stomach as a burning, blinding pain consumed your senses.
Well that certainly wasn’t good
You feel your body get lifted before being thrown across the clearing you had been in, slamming against a tree. You fall into a crumpled heap at the base of it, your body twisted at an unnatural angle. Someone was screaming, it almost shocks you when you realize it’s you. You can vaguely hear angry, panicked yelling somewhere around you, but things are blurring together quite rapidly.
You’re going to die.
You realize this as you lay there. Finally, your brain is shutting down. You chuckle morbidly at the thought, the sound more akin to a gurgle as warm blood spills out of your mouth like some fucked up comedic skit. Your fingers that once clung to the cold, living dirt now gently lay upon the warm wound that was going to end you.
As the darkness of the forest consumed your vision, you thought you’d started to hear Larissa, her delicate voice whispering words you couldn’t make out. Your fingers twitch as you remembered the soft fur of your family cat, her small paws making the dough on your stomach. People of your past swept across your vision as the buzz of Larissa’s voice permeated your brain.
And then there was silence. There was just you and the night sky.
Until a muddied red thing enters your vision.
Marylin is still here, she needs to run, she’s in danger, you should warn her…
Your eyes roll towards her, her face entering your vision as she leans over you. Her features are somehow both fuzzy and clear, making you want to close your eyes and rest for a bit. Her lips were moving, but you can’t make out a single word she could be saying. Her face leaves your vision, her red boots re-entering it. The colour reminds you of Larissa’s lipstick.
You hope she knows you love her.
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i’m in my room, absentmindedly doodling and thinking to myself.
it’s been a week or so on base since our sunrise hike together. i’ve been thinking long and hard about our little medic. it’s not like i have a choice- he occupies my mind every second i’m awake. he’s just so… i don’t even know. cute? certainly- he’s three inches tall. endearing? absolutely. attractive? yeah, definitely.
okay, jeez, fine…. i might have a little tiny crush on the little tiny medic.
i feel bad for him. it’s got to suck, being so tiny, unable to help in battle, feeling useless. i’m not sure how long he’s been like this, and god knows how long it’ll last. what if he stays this small forever? what if i can’t ever fully hug him, or kiss him… or anything more?
gosh, why am i thinking like i’m already dating the guy!? i haven’t even confessed to him for god’s sake!
i’ll go do that right now. yeah, that’s a great idea. just can’t chicken out. i got this. here goes.
but what if i get too nervous!?
i tap my pencil against my chin. i think i have an idea.
i walk to the infirmary on shaky legs. opening the door, i see medic standing on a nearby worktable tinkering with something. he’s holding a screwdriver as big as his body, wheezing a little as he tries to turn it. it’s clearly not going very well, and as much as he seems irritated at the effort, i can’t help but think he looks pretty fine while he’s doing it.
h- hey doc! need help?
he glances at me, looking somewhere between indignant that i implied he needs help and relief that he can stop straining his aching back. he grudgingly lets me take the tool, and i affectionately pet the top of his head with a fingertip. i don’t see him let others touch him often, and i’m pretty honored that he seems comfortable around me.
i help him screw the device together- it vaguely resembles a tiny version of engie’s teleporters- and set the screwdriver on the table beside him. he sits on it like it’s a log at a campfire.
listen, doc, i- uh- wanted to give ya this. open it after i go back to my room, okay?
i hand him a folded-up sheet of paper that looks like a scrap in my hands and a phone book in his. he doesn’t know it yet, but written on it in the smallest handwriting i could muster is:
hey doc.
i just wanted to say, well, i really like you. like, in a more-than-friends way. i wrote it in a note ‘cause i knew i’d either pass out on the floor or chicken out of telling you.
i know you ain’t had that much luck in the love department, so it’s fine with me if you say no. just thought i’d let you know, you’re super cool, and really handsome, and if you wanted to go on a date with me sometime, i think that’d be swell.
sincerely,
🫀anon
P.S. beer’s on me!
P.P.S. you can talk about birds all you want!
TW: Sexual topics talked about very lightly and in no detail. Medication also mentioned.
Medics mind wanders as he attempts to screw in something with a normal sized screwdriver.
His back ached. Normally he could take some sort of pain reliever, but at the size he was, those dosages would kill him. So he didn't have much of a choice.
Suffering from his medication withdrawal wasn't fun, either. Like many other of the mercs, Medic had to take things to help control his mood/emotions. Pyro with their hallucinations, Scout with his ADHD....
He shook his head. He didn't want to think right now. He didn't want to work right now. But he had to. So he did.
Scout makes his way into the Medbay. Medic grumbles. What does he need? He can't do much for him at the moment.
As he asks Medic if he needs help, he frowns. He's over twice his age. He didn't need help from-
He grunted. His back popped, and he dropped the screwdriver. When Scout reaches over to grab it, he doesn't stop him.
He's surprised by the small pet. He blushes a little, mostly out of embarrassment, and gives scout a confused look. He doesn't seem to notice however.
Scout had been more affectionate towards him recently. Is it because he was small? Easier to handle? He crossed his arms. He didn't like feeling weak.
Once Scout sets the screwdriver back down, Medic goes to sit on it. The sitting definitely helped his aching back, but he tried not to show it.
He wasn't old. Not yet anyway.
Medic gives a confused look as he's offered the small paper. He hums, giving a nod as Scout leaves.
He can only assume it has something to do with his hormone treatment. Scout always got nervous about that; like anyone there would judge him. Half the team was fruitier then a berry garden- and Medic himself was also trans- but he didn't comment on it. If it made him more comfortable, he supposed.
He carefully folded the note, holding it open in his small, gloved hands. As his eyes went back and forth on the words, a small blush grew on his face.
His immediate reaction was that Demoman owed him 100 dollars now. They'd made a bet on whether or not Scout had some fruit in him. Demoman was convinced he didnt- afterall he was always after Miss Pauling. But Medic knew. At least, officially now. (I mean, look at him. /silly)
The next feeling was confusion. Medic couldn't exactly have normal sex right now. If that's what Scout wanted, he should've waited until this whole ordeal was over. He would be fine with a hookup with any member of the team, really, Scout included.
Did he want...like... not sex? If that was the case, he was even more confused. The majority of the time, his relations were purely sexual. Medic had a hard time in the past with romance, and swore off it years ago (much to some of the teams dismay).
He set the paper down next to him and scratched his chin. The majority of the time, he had a plan for everything, or the way of coming up with one in an instant- but this?...
...he drew a blank.
Medic looked over to the door Scout walked out of. He needed a nap.
#tf2 rp blog#medic tf2#tf2 medic#ask blog#tf2 rp#medic team fortress 2#rp blog#ask#tf2#heart anon#suggestive#quick fix#medicscout#trans scout#if that bothers you lmk i can change it!!
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radio shows ~ r. suna
“i currently have y/n miya, world renowned model. sister to msby jackal player atsumu miya. and dating ejp rajin player rintaro suna”.
you smiled at the introduction to yourself “i’m so glad you could have me on”
you knew atsumu made everyone listen to this. osamu probably had the tv on watching the livestream. and suna was most definitely listening to it.
“so do you know of anyone who is listening to the show currently” the interviewer asked
“uhm yes i do actually, and i have one correction to make to your introduction. i have my brothers listening. hi atsumu and osamu. and i have my fiancé suna listening”
suna had preposed to you at a family gathering at his families house. atsumu and osamu already knew but not everyone knew. you talked it over with suna if you could say you two were engaged or not and he said yes
“oh wow, how long have you two been dating?”
“well he was in 1st year of high school and i was still in junior high. when i finally got into high school he asked me out. to homecoming actually”
“how did he ask you out”
“a sign. oh my god this boy had everything planned out. i was a cheerleader for basketball during the time. so i helped the volleyball team by being their manager. atsumu made me to do it. i’m not that mad about it anymore because i met suna from it. he used our golden doodle to ask me out. i still remember what the sign said too ‘if my puppy dog eyes don’t work maybe nini’s will’. oh my god poor nini he put a sign on her that said ‘hoco with suna?’. i said yes because i loved nini. nini is now 6ft under”
you felt your phone buzz. you knew it was suna. you smiled a little bit
“your smile is so beautiful”
“thank you so much”
“we’re going to cut to a song. what do you think we should play, y/n”
“let’s play an inrarizaki favorite. ohmami by chase atlantic”
“with maggie lindemann or just normal?”
“normal”
you thought of suna saying ohmami. this boy loved the song. he loved doing some special activities during the song. you felt your phone buzz again
“bitch, i'm fuckin' styling yeah ooh-ooh-ooh, oh yeah whoa”
you picked up your phone
rinnie<3🥰 your doing great baby 🫶🏽
y/n ❤️ thank you baby 🫶🏽
dumbass 1 😐 ohmami really?
fucking dumbass 🥱 yea, lost my virginity to it 😶
dumbass 1 😐 EWWWWW
fucking dumbass 🥱 YOU ASKED
the song ended and the interview picked back up
“i love that song so much”
“me too. now, do you and suna ever want kids”
you smiled. you and suna have been having this conversation since you two got together “yes we would. we only want 2 of them. and if i carry the twin gene then we may have to go through pregnancy once”.
“what’s your favorite song currently”
“i have a few actually! mine by 1nonly, r u mine by arctic monkeys, problems by mother mother and needed me by rihanna”
“y/n miya a mother mother fan?”
“oh and get scared”
suna taught you all those bands. other than a handful. suna really made you into who you are today
“can you do a perfect accent?”
you start in a perfect british accent “well funny you say that”. then you switch to an australian accent “i can do a kermit one too”. and that’s when you switch to kermit “well i say where is miss. piggy. i swear i lose that girl more than i lose my mind sometimes”.
you laugh, you knew atsumu never knew you could do those. so he’s probably surprised. you and osamu yell at each other in an australian accent. and then you and suna go around the house yelling in the house in the kermit accent
“do you know…the muffin man?”
“the muffin man?”
“ThE mUfFiN mAn”
the interviewer laughs “now we know ms. miya can do accents perfectly. now if you weren’t famous what would you be doing”
“ohhhh i would either be doing cheer for the msby jackals or be a massage therapist”
“what would you name your boat if you had one”
“oh goodness, now me and suna have been wanting a boat since like forever. and we decided we would name it the beayatch”
“what’s the dumbest thing you’ve gotten injured from doing?”
“how much time do we have. let’s see i got dropped by osamu and atsumu trying to do a cheer stunt. now based on their muscles at the time you would think they could hold me up right? wrong they dropped me so hard, i twisted my ankle and now i can move my knee cap anyway i want. another time i was cooking dinner and suna was in the mood if you know you know. and he sat me up on the counter and we kinda forgot to turn off the burner”
“how is it like dating suna”
“after noon naps. i get so greatful for them sometimes. uhm this boy can cook really good, he and his mom used to cook together all the time. so he picked up recipes from her. it’s really fun, i’m glad i get to marry him”
“awww, we’re going to go to a song but don’t leave yet we still have burning questions sent in from you guys! stay tuned. now what song should we play”
“oooo problems by mother mother”
“problems coming up”
you picked up your phone and texted suna
y/n ❤️ am i doing good
rinnie 🥰 your doing great baby
y/n ❤️ love you rinnie
rinnie 🥰 love you too
the interview picked back up. and she asked you the one question you were hoping she wouldn’t ask
“so there have been a few rumors of suna cheating, what have you two done about it?”
"“oh, now the pictures that were leaked of him cheating was when we were in high school. that was his girlfriend before me. and we do some checks on our phones, we just ask each other to see mine or his phone when we feel like they are acting weird, but one day he denied me to look and then he told me after he preposed why i wouldn’t let me look. it was because he was texting osamu about it, and he was acting weird because of that”
"oh, so he wasn't really cheating"
"no, he wasn't"
you knew suna would never cheat on you, he loves you way too much. and you love him way to much to cheat on him as well
"oh that's all the time we have with ms. miya"
"oh wow that passed by quickly"
~time skip~
"mhm you smell good" suna said shoving his face in your neck as you texted atsumu
"thank you rinnie"
"what do you want for dinner?"
"anything really, i don't care. as long as its not sushi, i'm pregnant"
suna picked you up so fast you dropped your phone back onto the couch, showing that you were talking to your mom and not actually atsumu.
"oh my god are you actually pregnant?"
"yes rinnie i was just telling my mom"
"i love you, i love you, i love you"
"i love you too rinnie"
#suna x you#hq suna#suna rintaro scenarios#suna rintarō#suna x reader#atsumu miya#osamu miya#inarizaki#aran ojiro#kita shinsuke#radio station
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How do you feel about Candy as a Character vs. The character you made? I’m honestly just interested in the character you have for Candy and her relationship with Nikki
HI THANK YOU FOR THE ASK, V GOOD ASK I'M HAPPY TO AWNSER
My version of Candy isn't actually supposed to contradict what we know of her already, more so really really build-off-from and completely take and run with what little we were given about her.
I'm fine with anyone's HCs I believe everyone should have fun and it doesn't have to match cannon! but in the same note if we're talkin' character analysis and not HCs they often don't even target what she did wrong and just go "whore." And. Uh. Yeah never been a fan of that.. Not a fan of how she was supposed to be a "golddigger joke" or something in the show either but ehh.
She's not a bad mother because she was on her phone or because she wears tank tops or because she has sex or anything else I've heard while being in this fandom dear GOD SKSKNDJN but this post will literally be 3x longer if I get into my takes on that so it's a different post if y'all want it one day.
Candy didn't remember something important, something traumatizing for Nikki and that's where her flaws lay. Their communication is lackluster. I think it makes her a flawed parent and a flawed person but it doesn't mean "she's scum of the earth condemn this woman to hell immediately," she still loves Nikki and shows she does in the same episode she tells her not to karate chop strangers and get them sued so she doesn't just let her do whatever. She refers to her as "my angel" and Nikki looks up at her when everyone is eating with this smile and they LOVE each other and raaahhh I love the sillies so much.... Cryinhng..
I've mentioned in my post about Neil's mother how I believe that the egg episode they're mirroring their own parents and Nikki being so worried about fucking up her egg and not knowing what to do and being unprepared and scared. I HC Candy had Nikki when she was like 20-21 and recently kicked out by her own mother and she had no support or knowledge of what to do or how to care for a baby and it was SO much trial and error but it bleeds into my HC about Nikki where she has all these big thoughts and emotions but gets regarded as simple minded by her peers because she can't find a way to express them verbally and comes off simple minded or stupid. This doesn't stop her from feeling complicated things it just stops her from being understood.
((literally the whole Christmas episode is her going "I love this thing so dang much!!! I can't tell you why though. I'll know it when I see it.?))
So when you have a unprepared parent who's working by trial and error and you can't verbalize to them the errors or make sense of your feelings that's where issues come in!!
Minor New episode spoilers: Nikki can't write eligibly when she writes letters to her mother. I think is some great potential to be visual storytelling about this if I ever could make a fic. Her handwriting is bad. She gets excited and doodles and scribbles. You can't make out what she's saying. Maybe her mother never even got to know about what happened in the flower scouts because she said it over letter.
Candy still sent her there and lied about it being adventure camp and I hc it was done not because she wants to force feminity on Nikki or anything (if that's the case Nikki would be dead like literally 💀 she needs dirt to live) but because she wanted her to make friends and since she had such a good time as some version of a scout herself she thought Nikki would too. She loves Nikki and supports her wolf-kinning and playing in the mud but of course is concerned she's estranging herself from other people by barking and biting them and sending her out into the woods she would've just continued to ignore people in favor of animals. Candy had a "it'll be good for her!" Type rationalization about lying.
Then next summer she wanted to make her happy and followed through with going to adventure camp for realsies and was scatterbrained about it and misremembered the previous year's sign up for that one.
A misunderstanding didn't hurt Nikki any less. You can have all the good intentions in the world and still screw up and accidentally hurt somebody you care about.
Personally I love depicting Candy as being really really affectionate with Nikki and she calls her not only "my angel" but variations of "baby/sweetie/hunny" and the biggest nickname she has for her is probably "sunshine"
Candy also can't cook lol she tries but it's the only thing in the world Nikki won't eat is her mom's cooking so Candy buys them TV dinners and premade stuff alot. They have "barbeque nights" where Candy brings home ribs and they watch TV together and live in this lil trailer home near a forest. (In the first trailer for camp camp we see Nikki using a slingshot on cans with flowers painted on them and I'm like yeah her back yard just goes directly into the woods I know it does)
I actually HC Candy's off and off boyfriend/husband Andrew is the one who'd force gender roles on Nikki if at all. Guy who jokes about "hookers and blow" ((Infront of his 9-10yo daughter)) with his friends yk that guy.
Please take these walls of text I've sent to a friend about Candy 🙏 also that's meant to say spots not sports 😔
Also I wanna mention Candy isn't even her actual name she got it during her time in the adult film industry (🌽) and it's actually Caroline. She doesn't really introduce herself as that anymore. Sex work in general is often an abusive industry and highly exploitive so she's got some baggage from her time there and falls in and out of being a stripper aswell and struggles to hold down a job that can support her and her daughter and it's part of multiple reasons why she keeps going back to her ex husband bc he's well-off. ((Cannonicaly bought her a car and lawyers))
She didn't even know for sure if Andrew was the father, some AUs I have he turned out to be the father in some he didn't, but she chose to tell him because he could give her daughter the best chance in life and support her education and allthat.
#oh my goodness this is gonna be a huge post huh#I'm so sorry to my low attention span followers/gen#fandom headcanons#head canon#character headcanons#camp camp hcs#nikki cc#cc nikki#candy camp camp#should i use the main fandom tag for this I'm actually embarrassed i wrote so much about a one off character#fuck it we ball#camp camp#camp Campbell
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✎ Neighbors: Chapter 3: Familiar Faces
🤎𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: OnlineInfluencers!BTS OT7 (Eventually) x Animator!Fem!OC!Reader, Model!Jimin x ProfessionalGamer!Jungkook, Model!Jimin x Animator!Fem!OC!Reader x ProfessionalGamer!Jungkook | 🌙𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: Fluff, College AU, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, 3rd Person | 🖊️𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 2,025 Words | ✏️𝐀𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬: Chul’s classes and schedule along with building are heavily based off my own.~ Even though my building doesn’t have 3 floors it has 2~ | ❌𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: None(?)
🍁𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: Jungkook and Chul meet again by pure chance. Their friendship is blooming with them getting a lot closer, Chul even getting to meet one of his close “friends”. Featuring a little of Jimin getting into trouble.~
👻𝐆𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐖𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐫'𝐬 𝐓𝐚𝐛𝐬: Omg I finally got to this! Woo! I hope yall like this ^^
🐻 𝐒𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 | 𝐌𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 | 𝐁𝐓𝐒 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭
“And so I pitched myself into my great lake of melancholy. Lord how deep it is! What a born melancholic I am!” — Virginia Woolf, ‘A Writer’s Diary’
‘Hey my class ended early! :D’
‘My room is 309, down the hall’
‘Come down when you’re done’
Chul smiled at the messages, sitting at her easel as her class took a break. The teacher had been going through what to expect in the class along with starting a PowerPoint on what they’ll be practicing for the first week. She ate her own snack that she brought because of long class hours, texting Jungkook back as she did.
‘Lucky! I have one more hour’
‘I’ll see you then’
Jungkook answers with an okay, deciding to stay in the room while waiting. Chul finishes her snack and goes back to her notes, doodling little flowers and characters along the edges of her paper. Once the Professor went over the assignment, she ended class early and Chul cheers to herself as she starts putting her items into her bag. She quickly texted Jungkook telling him that she was on her way and walked down the colorful hall of her art building. She looked at the room numbers until she saw ‘309’ and stopped, smiling wide as she walked into the empty classroom. She looked around, noticing Jungkook sitting on a stool at a table with someone sitting next to him. She tilted her head as she walked in noticing that they were both
looking down at something on Jungkook’s phone.
“Hey Kook!” She chirped excitedly making her presence known to the two men. Both look up, Kook giving her his signature cute bunny smile. She smiled back his smile too contagious to not. Before looking at the other man and wondering where she’s seen him before. He seemed to be having the same recollection. She opened her mouth to say a greeting to the man before he spoke before her.
“You’re the girl from the park! That’s where I’ve seen you.” He called out both Jungkook and Chul. He blushed embarrassed at his small outburst clearing his throat. “I’m sorry you just looked really familiar.” Chul takes a second to process before blushing embarrassed and
looking at him over once more. And yes, he was the beautiful man from the park,
knowing that fact made her face grow more red. She quickly bowed and started to apologize profusely. Jimin blinks surprised before a laugh starts to bubble out while Jungkook sat confused next to him. Chul went even more red, if possible, when she heard his beautiful laugh. She went back to standing straight, her hair slightly covering her face. ‘Why is everything he does so pretty?’ Jimin stopped laughing and let out a breath.
“I’m sorry, you’re just so cute.” Chul pouted a little at that shyly playing with her
sleeve. “You don’t need to apologize, I’m half to blame. I do hope you got a nice picture of me though.” He teased gently to Chul’s dismay. She whined a little, pushing her hair back, pursing her lips and looking away. ‘She’s cute.’ He thought with a small smile while Chul collected herself.
“I-I’ll delete the picture, I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to take it.” Jimin waved her off
with a small hand wave and smile.
“It’s really okay honey.~ I just hope you got my good side.~” He eternally cooed as another pink hue came to her cheeks when he called her honey. He stuck his hand out for
her to shake. “I’m Jimin by the way. Park Jimin.” She blinked a little before shyly taking his hand.
“Lee Chul.” She introduced herself shyly. Jimin smiled and the two looked at each other for a bit. They seemed to be taking in each other’s features, making Jungkook look
at them completely confused and unsure of what was going on. He clears his
throat looking at the two as they jump a little forgetting that there was someone else in the room. Jimin smiled sheepishly at the younger.
“Sorry, got…distracted.” He mumbled softly while Chul looked down at her fingers shyly.
“I could see that-.” Jungkook said sassily before shaking his head. “How do you guys know
each other anyway? You’re in different majors. Completely different-.” Jungkook
enquired as he looked between the two waiting for an answer.
“Wait what major are you?”
“Cosmetic Science.” Chul blinked surprised and looked at him impressed.
“Woah! That sounds so fancy!” Jimin laughed, getting bashful at her praise, about to wave
her comments off before hearing Jungkook clear his throat again and looking at
him with raised brows. Jimin gave him an apologetic look before answering the
younger man.
“We met at the park earlier. She’s the girl I told you about.” Jungkook blinked in confusion before a grin started to spread on his face.
“Oh, so she’s the-.” His mouth was quickly covered by Jimin’s hand, said man, glaring at the younger who was just giggling under it before apologizing. Chul looked between the two, blinking confused as she scrunched her eyebrows together.
“What? The, what?” She tilted her head confused while Jungkook laughed and Jimin waved his hands with a pink hue on his cheeks.
“Don’t worry about it.” Chul whined and started to protest, trying to get some kind of
information out of him. This lasted a couple more minutes, Jungkook laughing and Jimin shyly denying the girl any information on what Jungkook was going to say. After giving up Chul starts conversation on how their first days were going and what days they had classes and so on. At one point Chul went to tie up her hair, talking about some random topic and not noticing the two men looking at her and listened. They both were thinking the same thing, she looked so pretty. Jimin was the first to snap out of it though and gently hit Jungkook on the shoulder to snap him out of it.
“Last semester wasn’t all that bad, so I do hope this one is the same. I hope I make more
friends.” They both tuned back into the conversation blinking a little to piece together what they could. “But I think it’s time for me to get going. My friend is waiting for me, and I hate making him wait.” She smiled at the two who smiled back instantly.
“Oh…” Jungkook pouted a little before checking the time and perking up surprised. “Yeah, I think you’re right. It’s definitely time for us to go too.” He smiled sadly, wishing they could hangout a bit longer. Jimin lightly nudged him before handing his phone to Chul, the contacts app open.
“Here, put in your number. It’s not fair that Jungkook gets to talk to such a pretty girl,
and I don’t.” He teased gently, smiling more when he sees her blush appearing on her cheeks again. She gently takes it, putting in her number and hands it back shyly, smiling at him.
“There you go.” He smiles back looking at the contact and cooing inwardly at the cute
emojis she used. He sent her a message, so she had his number as well. Both men stood up and each took turns giving her a hug before they walked out of the room and went their separate ways. As she walked down the stairs, deeming it quicker than waiting for the elevator. She had already made Hongjoong wait too long, and she was definitely going to get an earful about
it. She texted Jimin while she went down, smiling at the new pretty friend she made. “No one’s going to believe me.” She mumbled to herself with a laugh as she got out. There she saw Hongjoong, leaning against his bike and waved happily at him. Hongjoong crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes at her.
“Nice to see you-.” He said snarky while she rolled her eyes and hugged her best friend.
“Don’t be so cold.~” She whined a little, it being Hongjoong’s turn to roll his eyes and hug her back.
“You were with your new friend?” She nodded her head with a happy smile.
“He seems to make you really happy. Be careful, you’ve only known each other for a couple of days.” Chul shook her head with a little frown.
“He’s nice. And we’ve basically known each other for more than a week. I even met one of
his friends today! Plus, I can take care of myself. I know what I’m doing.” Hongjoong’s
eyebrows raised up, but he didn’t mention anything about it.
“I know you can, but I just worry about you. Now,” He tossed Chul her normal helmet.
“Get on, we're going to Sally’s.” Chul squealed happily at the prospect of going to
their favorite diner. Having gone to it since they were kids from Hongjoong’s first concert in Middle School to their High School Graduation. She hugged him happily before putting on the helmet and got on carefully with Joong’s help. Once they were there, they greeted everyone and went to their normal table before Chul started to go into detail of her day before Joong did the same.
A nice ending to the day.
Jimin and Jungkook went to the elevator, Jimin texting Chul back with a smile before putting his phone away. Jungkook glances at him but doesn’t say anything, just smiling along knowing what he was thinking of. Once out of the building Jimin puts on a pair of sunglasses along with putting up his hoodie trying to hide his face as much as possible. Jungkook opted for his normal black facemask while putting his hoodie up as well. Once they felt that their faces were hidden well enough, they started walking to Jimin’s car. Jimin was happy that he was allowed to drive himself and not have some driver taking them around. They all wanted to enjoy their college experience as much as possible and as normal. They already had heavy schedules to follow, making having close connections hard. So having this sliver of normalcy was a breath of fresh air for all the boys. They have casual conversation when inside of Jimin’s car, mask and hoods down enjoying each other’s company.
Jungkook held Jimin’s hand in his lap while the older man drove. “She doesn’t know what we do, does she?” Jungkook blinked, processing what he was asked before blushing a
little and shaking his head.
“No…I kind of like the fact she doesn’t. At least if she does, she doesn’t show it.” Jimin
nodded his head agreeing.
“She’s a lot more sweet than you mentioned.” Jimin grinned a little. “I can see why you like her so much.” Jungkook went red, lightly slapping his arm when they got to a
red light.
“Says you! You stared at her for so long-. And you called her an ‘Angel’ when you first saw her, remember?” Jimin scoffed with his own blush spreading on his face which
caused Jungkook to laugh. Jimin rolled his eyes, scoffing again but smiling fondly at his boyfriend, loving whenever he laughed. They talk the rest of the way home, Jimin parking his car on the street, noticing that there was a car in the driveway. He cursed under his breath knowing whose car it was and whining to himself. Jungkook noticed the car and cringed a little knowing that Jimin was going to be chewed out by their Hyungs. Jungkook checked the time before tugging Jimin’s hand. “I have to stream soon.” Jimin sighed, wishing he could stay in
the car and let everything settle. They both got out of the car making their way inside barely making it in until seeing Yoongi standing halfway up the stairs, arms crossed and a knowing look on his face.
Jimin sighed as Jungkook gave him a quick peck to the lips running up the stairs, stopping to give Yoongi his own kiss, before rushing to his room to set up for his
stream. Yoongi looked at Jimin who gave him puppy dog eyes, the older man shaking his head. “Not this time. Let’s go, Jin and Namjoon are waiting for you.” Groaning, the blonde followed behind, wondering what they’ll tell him he can’t do this time around.
Oh how he hated talks like these.
✎ @honey-andmilktea - 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐝, 𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭, 𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐭, 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐳𝐞, 𝐞𝐭𝐜. [2024-2025]
✎ Thank you for reading! Since you've made it this far please consider reblogging, commenting or getting a coffee at the Coffee Corner! [Ko-fi]
✎ Taglist: @armysantiny, @faywithlove, @kpopadminnie, @iridescentxstars, @felicityroth
✎: @moonprismo, @mo0nbeams, @angelfuzzy2, @singukieee
#🪶ghost writer's work#bts#bangtan#jeon jungkook x reader#park jimin x reader#bangtan bts#bangtan boys#bangtan sonyeondan#bts fanfction#bts fanfic#bts fic#bts series#bangtan fanfic#bangtan fic#bangtan fanfiction#jeon jungkook#jungkook#jeon jungkook fanfic#jeon jungkook fic#jeon jungkook fanfiction#jungkook fic#jungkook fanfic#park jimin fic#jungkook fanfiction#bts jeon jungkook#bts jungkook#jeon jungkook x oc#park jimin#park jimin fanfic#jimin
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Chapter Two
Summary; Kate gets to know the guys in a more social setting, Peter and Ray make a proposition.
Warnings; alcohol consumption in a bar setting, Venkman being Venkman, science talk, annoyingly overbearing family members
Final Word Count; 1250
With the extra help, Kate got most of her office unpacked within the next hour or so, what was left she could just deal with herself later. It was mostly Ray who helped, Peter just kind of went through boxes and cracked jokes while Egon lingered near the bookshelf in what seemed to be a contemplative state. Carefully lowering a bell jar over some of her prime venus fly trap specimens, Kate spoke up,
“How about I buy lunch for us? As a thank you for helping.” She turned to face the guys, hands on hips, “Pizza?” She grabbed her purse from the desk and went out to search for a phone she could order from before any of them could even respond.
“You know what, fellas? We have to get her in on our research, I think she’d be a great asset.” Venkman said pointing towards the door after Kate left and was out of earshot.
“Peter, her line of work doesn’t even line up with ours, she’s here to teach… and you only want her around because she is a woman.” Egon spoke as he turned away from observing the books, facing his two colleagues.
“We know she shares some of the same interests.” Ray said gesturing to the shelf that held the works of Aleister Crowley among other supernatural texts, “And if we ever have any actual run ins with ectoplasm, she could analyze it chemically, break it down to it’s finer proteins or something! Maybe she won’t want to collaborate full time but it sure wouldn’t hurt to ask her.”
“We don’t want to come on too strong, now. Let’s invite her to have some drinks with us at the bar later this week, we can spring it on her then.” Peter chimed in again, “Egon you should come too.”
“I don’t drink, you know that.”
“It wouldn’t hurt for you to come out with us and socialize with a lovely lady, alright? You can have all the water you want. You being there will even soften the deal. One look at you pal and she went all doe eyed.” Peter walked over and clapped a hand on his shoulder, earning a scoff from the taller scientist.
“Alright, I forgot to ask what kind you guys like, so I got two cheeses and a pepperoni.” Kate returned holding three stacked pizza boxes, “They refused to deliver to the basement so I had to wait around and wait for the kid outside.” Not even acknowledging the strange little huddle going on, she put the boxes down on her desk and set them next to each other.
“Say, hey Kate, Katieee. Can I call you Katie?” Peter said as he turned to address her.
“If you value your ability to have children in the future, no.”
“Okay, nevermind about that. How about you join us at the bar just off campus this Saturday? We can get to know you and you, us, away from all the workplace hustle and bustle.”
“Saturday? Sounds good to me, I had plans I didn’t want to keep anyway.”
“And Peter Mitchell really transformed the way we look at things with his protonmotive force hypothesis of course, and people hated him for that for a while but now it’s been proven and it’s standard.” Coming to the end of a long winded tangent on why she chose biochemistry as a profession, Kate looked around the booth at the three men sitting with her, “Sorry, got a bit carried away.”
“No! It’s really great stuff! We’d love to hear more.” Ray exclaimed over the sound of the bar, Egon nodding along to his words as he continued to look at the book he had in front of him. Although he had actually stopped reading when Kate started excitedly talking about her field.
“If we didn’t have other things to discuss, maybe another time Raymond.” Peter held a hand up and turned back to the woman across from him who was now nervously doodling on a napkin, “So, Dr. Harrison. We would like to ask you something.” Kate lifted her head and looked across at Peter and Ray suspiciously.
“This better not be some hazing thing…” She narrowed her eyes as she spoke, glancing at Egon who sat on the outer half of the bench next to her. She was pretty much boxed in.
“No, this is purely us offering friendship and collaboration.” Ray said, taking charge of the conversation before Peter could mess it up, “We were wondering if, from time to time, you would like to join us in our paranormal research. When you have the time of course. It’s entirely up to you.”
“Personally I would like to run some theories on the chemical bonds of ectoplasm by you, get in your input and such.” Egon spoke up for the first time since they all met up at the bar almost two hours ago.
“You know what? That sounds really cool, I’m in.” She said with an enthusiastic nod, “And you know where to find me during my office hours.” She laughed softly before looking at the time, “Shit, I should call my sister. I forgot to tell her I wasn’t coming. You don’t mind letting me out so I can go use the phone, do you?” She asked Egon who gave a small nod and moved to stand up from the booth, sitting back down once more as she walked away.
“See? Now was that so hard?” Peter shook his head as he returned his attention to his beer, reaching over to grab the napkin she had been drawing on, “Now what do you think that is?” He turned upside down and back a couple of times.
“That’s the human nervous system Venkman, she’s drawn it three and a half times since we sat down.” Egon turned back to his book.
"Huh, interesting."
“Irene, I’m sorry, okay? Plans came up out of the blue, work got busy and I forgot to call you sooner to let you know. It’s not like you don’t host dinner every Saturday, I’m only missing it once.” Kate ran a hand over her face as her sister berated her over the phone.
“Your sister has been in the kitchen all day making this roast, and now there’s too much food!” Her mother’s voice came over the line and she visibly cringed.
“Well then, tell dad that he can have a third helping.” She stated, “And take me off speakerphone! You don’t need the kids to overhear the background noise of a bar!”
“Oh that’s rich, spending your Saturday night at a bar with strange people rather than with your family, who care about you!” Her mother spoke up again.
“I’m with the guys from the next office over, they are not strangers, ma.”
“Oh, so strange men? Even better!”
“They are respectable colleagues with PhDs just like me who actually hear what I care about. The second I start talking about the periodic table in front of any of you, you don’t even let me finish a word, let alone a whole sentence.” She huffed, “And hanging around in bars on a Saturday is something I should’ve done this whole time, not wasted them at dinners where all you talked about was how I’ve been wasting my time with school when I should’ve been looking for a husband. Now goodbye and have a wonderful evening.” She slammed the receiver back onto the hook and returned to the table.
#ghostbusters#ghostbusters oc#egon spengler x oc#egon spengler#katherine harrison#ray stantz#peter venkman#fanfic#apollafire#dearly departed
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Review #474: #1 Record, Big Star
“I never travel far, without a little Big Star”, is the saying that goes, or rather, the lyrics from The Replacement’s ode to Alex Chilton. It’s true though. Big Star are my favorite band. While I disagree pretty adamantly with the order, all three of their records are in the Rolling Stone’s Top 500. I find that immensely satisfying. One thing Rolling Stone and I agree on – apparently — is that Big Star are special. I could talk possibly forever about the Big Star story, but it’s a rare occasion that I happen upon anyone else who knows, cares, or is interested. Which is pretty much part and parcel of the story itself. It’s part of its charm in a way.
I learned about Big Star the way everyone does, or at least did. Someone put a song on a burned CD for me (previously it would have been a mixtape, but this was the early 2000s and this is what we did). It was that fuckin’ boy, okay? And it was around when we actually met. He was trying to impress. He made me this CD, it was plain white, and it had scrawled on it in his stupid fucking handwriting “Summer Promo” with some little patterns doodled around it. Thirteen was the third track and it instantly became my favorite. I fell in love with it, and with Big Star, and that was it. I remember almost all of the other tracks, they were mostly trash. He gave it to me before fucking off for several weeks over the summer – to Bible camp, ha – and the douchebag didn’t ever have enough money to keep his cell phone with credit to call or text. By the time he got back he already was like, “sorry, dumping you”, and so began the 3 to 4 years of hellish on-off controlling, jealous, rage abuse from a boy who didn’t want me, and constantly cheated on me, but couldn’t stand to see me move on or be near anyone else. Who am I kidding, he didn’t say sorry.
Some years in, he had moved away but this all continued. He was back in town – and we were together at this point – and days into his visit he hadn’t called, texted, nothing. He eventually showed up, only to inform me that he had tickets to see an artist that we both loved, Kathryn Williams, at a very local venue, and that he was taking another girl. My father had to physically restrain me. Later that evening, my boy best friend just so happened to call me and said he and his parents were going to that same show, had a spare ticket and would I like to go. I said yes. When I arrived, I sat several rows ahead of my “boyfriend”, and he saw that I was there with my friend, a boy, who in his opinion, I was not allowed to spend time with. Then. As if by magic. Kathryn Williams covered Thirteen. Beautifully. I really do remember that in that moment, knowing that I wasn’t ever going to ever be able to let myself tie songs I loved this much to people that hurt me on purpose if I wanted to continue loving them. I turned around and looked at him as if to say “you will never get this song from me”. I’d love to say that was the end of it all, but it wasn’t.
In the Street also lives within #1 Record, and during my teenage years, That 70’s Show was such a breath of fresh air. We all loved it. I had really fond memories of watching that show with my friends. I used to download it illegally and we would all watch it in my room around my computer. The theme tune was performed by Cheap Trick in the show, but I always loved that Alex Chilton and Chris Bell were in the opening credits, and as I understand it, it earned them money in syndication. However, Chris Bell was already dead, and Alex Chilton died with not a great deal to his name. So maybe it didn’t help. It’s probably the way that most folks know Big Star, even if they don’t know it. I’d encourage you to listen to their original version of In the Street. It’s fun, and honestly would have been a better fit for the show if you ask me. Also, it’s got so much cowbell it’s just silly. Sadly — sadly isn’t really the appropriate word here — That 70’s Show and the majority of its cast are now mired by the actions of convicted rapist and Scientologist Danny Masterson. Fond feelings are now replaced by anger and sadness for his victims and bitter disappointment in his castmates for continuing to support him and his church’s actions.
Skip forward a few years, and that boy is finally out of the picture, but a new nightmare begins. I’ve pointed to this in a few previous reviews. A job with a boss, and that boss is no good. We’re not going to get too far into that here. But there was this time, I was working my seventh day in a week a fourth week in a row (!) at a trade show. I forget why, but the subject of music came up, or I was listening to music on my break, or something like that, and this guy wanted to know what it was I was listening to. He was in his 40s and in a previous life, he had very briefly and with a great deal of mediocrity enjoyed some commercial success in a band. I’m being quite generous in saying that. He liked to overstate that success. A lot. Anyway. It comes up that I’m a fan of Big Star, and this garners his attention (more so than usual), and earns me some respect as a “real music fan”. I’m at work, I’m exhausted, I’m paid 8 pounds an hour, and this man was my ride to and from some hotel trade show at the Heathrow Airport. Finally, the day is over, and we’re leaving. On the way to what I think is home, he tells me that his wife is out of town, and his bandmates are in town, and that he isn’t going to take me home, he’s taking me to his house to hang out with his band. It may surprise you to learn that I, an 18 year old girl, did not want to hang out by myself with five 40-year-old men, only one of which I actually knew. The thing is, I actually didn’t have any choice. At all. This is one of those things where I most certainly look back and think “Jesus christ, that was fucked up”, and at the time I recognized my discomfort, but I didn’t have enough of a voice or know what to do about it. He was my boss.
So there I was, at his house, just kind of stuck. They all got fucking white girl wasted. And they had set up recording equipment – I assume their entire weekend plans were to fuck around and record music. Well. He made me sing. He made me sing Thirteen. He recorded it. They played. I was shaking. Mortified. Terrified. He wouldn’t let me leave until I did it. Then I was allowed to be sent home in a private car. I feel really sad for myself when I think about this. I’m not sure how not one of those men thought it was strange that I was there, or that my discomfort was so obvious, and that not one of them thought I should be at home. In hindsight I get the feeling my boss wasn’t someone people felt comfortable standing up to. That’s no excuse, in my opinion.
In weeks following, he showed me the mix he made of the recording, and I hated it. Hated. It. To be clear: I sang it beautifully. Every single one of those men was surprised by what came out of my mouth, and they all shut the fuck up for awhile, because I sang it beautifully and they weren’t expecting it. I hated it because of how it was created. I hated it because he bastardized it with a bunch of weird added effects and elongations that were insults to the original. From that day, until I left that job to go to university, I was encouraged to not bother with school and let him manage my music career, and my aspirations of college and helping people were “a stupid waste of time”. I thank myself every day that I had no desire to take him up on his ridiculous offer, and that saying no required no second thought. I can’t imagine what would have happened to me had I said yes, but I know that it would not have been good. That wasn’t the last of that guy, either, unfortunately, but I did go to school and I did graduate before he had the opportunity to fuck anything else up again.
Again, I revisited that notion of never letting anyone ruin a song or a band for me. But, in writing these reviews, I have come to realize that the memory being attached to a song or an artist has served a really valuable purpose for me. I know that this shit really happened, because the song/artist makes me think of this memory. That’s how I know. It’s validating and it’s helpful to actually catalogue all of this in this particular way. I can believe myself. If I ever didn’t before, I do now.
At the end of 2022, I was able to see Big Star (well “Big Star”), perform all of their catalog live, for the 50th anniversary of #1 Record. In Memphis. Mike Mills of R.E.M., Pat Sansone of Wilco, Jon Auer of the Posies, and Chris Stamey of the dBs, playing alongside original drummer and only surviving member, Jody Stephens. Over the years – whether in the UK or in the US, so many Big Star events had come and gone. Movie showings, one-off shows, tributes, whatever. And no matter what, somehow, something always stopped me from catching them. Not this one. No fucking way. I was really overwhelmed, and overcome, to think of all of the things that had to happen in my life since I first heard Thirteen on that burned CD under my loft bed in England to put me in Memphis, listening to these songs live, finally, in my Thirties, knowing those absolute assclowns that I’ve written about above are well behind me and can’t hurt me anymore.
#album review#music#music review#rolling stone top 500#big star#1 record#memphis#Alex chilton#men are trash
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Hello Hello! Today I’d like to talk about my experience in going to digital art as my primary workflow over the past 5 or 6 years and what I’ve kinda wanted to do for my art in the past and now in the future. Overall I wanted to share my thoughts on the two primary programs I use, how I critique myself and what I’ve learned about art on a personal level.
To preface, as this is a newer format, you expect a level of self-reflection in this that may seem odd! This is both a report to my own brain cave (in lore it's Ithod my "home planet") and a personal exploration of aspects of my life that have taken my interest. This is one of my big steps into finding what I enjoy creating as a VTuber. So please look forward to it as the future has more of this type of blogging but on a variety of topics I find interest in in addition to my Art posts!
Alright let’s start from the…beginning? One of the first times I got a genuine chance to use digital art was in 2013 on a Acer laptop and a tablet I can’t remember the brand of. I didn’t learn too much, I kind of just went for it. It’s hard to explain that I was not really looking at digital art as something I needed to relearn compared to traditional art, not to mention that I was still not improving my art in a….genuine way? I think I was just trying things out to explore how it works. The main problem was that I just didn’t know what I wanted to be using it for at the time. Like yes I wanted to draw but what did I want to be using digital art for that I could use traditional art to do? Overall I didn’t do a whole lot with that tablet other than play around with it but that was a good entry nonetheless.
Sometime after that in 2016/2018-ish I began to draw on my phone and I got a Windows Surface Pro. These were the two steps that really gave me perspective on some of the stuff I can do in digital Art compared to traditional, especially since I had also by that point learned way more about concepts in art and planning my work. This is really where I leaned into taking stuff I learned concept wise and played around with the ability of digital programs like layers, clipping, and being able too revert to old phases of the process without having to totally restart. I played around a lot with making sure I was atleast TRYING to get fullbody work in my compositions as I noticeably struggled with getting body gestures down. Everything felt stiff and I couldn’t figure out how to get rid of that while getting line art in. A lot of that went on to mean that I just did a lot of sketching, studies and generally drew things I felt I had a vague idea for. I typically didn’t go beyond the testing/planning either there because that wasn’t what I was really aiming to do. If I wasn’t thinking of an image beyond it’s initial idea then I had no need to try things beyond that. This wasn’t like a bad time for my art though. In the one year of drawing on a Surface Pro I went from basic fanart doodles to a fairly well developed digital style. I hadn’t even really looked back at the progress of that first year of drawing on the surface pro till now. In the year before I had been drawing fairy consistently on my phone but it was doing basic little portraits and stuff like that. If I had to say I learned one specific thing in the time I used the surface pro (which was for about 3 years) it’s likely that the screen/tablet type you use has a greater effect on how you draw that you may realize.
The ability to draw in my phone was great for at work during lunches or for jotting down sketch ideas which I could use/develop later if I wanted to. I very much loved this convivence because I didn’t want to risk taking my Surface Pro to work or something like that and then it breaking or getting stolen. So the phone usage was very nice especially in our modern era where a good mini-stylus or just the right free app is enough. Specifically I worked in Pixiv Sketch, and still do when I draw on my phone. It’s got a great basic variety of brushes and then a layer function with a decent amount of layer limits.
The Surface Pro’s ability to make the process feel smooth and clean even at various pen pressures was really interesting to realize after switching to an XP-Pen Tablet. It was also really nice to have something to just pull up a full drawing program but also be able to lay in my bed lmao. It may not have done much for my quality but it made me feel like drawing wasn’t something that I had to be up and ready to do if I just wanted to doodle. It also ran really well with decent memory space. This bring me to Paint Tool Sai, the program that I’ve been using for most of my digital art.
I bought Paint Tool Sai back on my Acer laptop. It was $75 at the time which was a lot for me but now looking back…I’ve had like a lifetime art program that can be used at a professional level. I remember recently watching one of the BTS of Genshin Impact and seeing Paint Tool Sai open in on one of their PCs was really refreshing lmao. It was the same hat meme. It was great. But also the fact that it’s made by one guy in Japan, who has been developing the 2.0 for the past few years is crazy because it’s honestly such a great program. I got the 2.0 upgrade for free as well which was even nicer in regards to the fact I only paid for it once also 10 years ago.
Because of it’s program nature with various brush folders and texture folders, it’d similar to Clip Studio in it’s customization for brush textures and settings. You can create your own textures, brushes and such and import them into the program. I find it’s overall feeling when drawing is really smooth even in a lot it’s brush settings. It’s got great reaction time and feels a lot like traditional art for that reason. Even with a really high Stabilization it’s reaction and accuracy to the line is really nice. The digital coloring on the other hand doesn’t really feel as good. I like to use the marker tool because I personally enjoy the look of washed colors so it isn’t too bad for me but when I need flat colors or blended rendering I tend to personally struggle with getting it done at a decent speed. But all the conveniences of the placement for in-program functions like new-layer, merge layer, copy/paste and blank layer are in the same place which I prefer over Clip Studio’s spread out options. It’s possible I can move them around more but the built in thought of the placement for a lot of things in Paint Tool Sai is a nice start for someone looking to just get started within digital art and needs a program with just enough stuff beyond the essentials to let you do really good quality work.
Now I’ve upgraded to a full PC, which I got in 2020. I use an Omen as I expected that if I wanted to use other art programs or draw on even bigger canvases that I should need a more robust system than what I used on the Surface Pro, but I didn’t need anything too crazy that would require a custom system. I also took this as a time to get a slightly larger tablet. Currently I use a XP-Pen tablet which is noticeably different to use than a surface pro. Since a surface Pro is also a laptop/tablet it had a smoother screen, untextured and such, where as the XP-Pen has a slight Matte to it. The XP-Pen also has a layered screen, where theres a slight slight space between where your pen is and the actual place it’s drawing at.
My use of Sai has gone down in the last month however as I finally began using Clip Studio. I admit that theres still something about the feel of the program I don’t like in comparison to Sai but it’s a better overall experience for making higher quality, more complete work at this time. Partially because I still haven’t figured out my art process. Clip Studio has made the convenience of coloring much more accessible to me on a variety of levels. It let’s me feel like I’m not overly perfectionist on my sketch process or lineart in comparison to just laying down a few colors because I don’t have confidence with them. Now even without confidence in my color choices or usage I at least feel like I’ve been able to fake it. In sai it was very dependent on you knowing what colors you wanted to use and what tool you’d use to lay them down. So far it doesn’t feel that way in Clip Studio. I can choose a basic brush and paint bucket and get color laid down in about 20 minutes if I wanted or take more time with a slightly varied brush and get that washed style I like while also being able to properly fill the spaces of the work.
Overall in my art process itself it’s been a lot faster as well than in Sai, perhaps because I’m still taking it slower with the express reason of really learning to use it for efficiency. My progression through the years has sort of allowed me to take that previous knowledge I’d gained and use it in what I do next which is generally what one does when making a change to their professional processes. A lot of doing things new successfully depends on how much you can make it work with what you already know.
Finally let’s talk about my art process itself, what my sort of mentality is behind it. A lot of what I do is based on “Oh I really want to see something like this!” or “That would be a fun/cool image” if I’m drawing for myself. I start with a thumbnail sketch, enlarge that and then do another more detailed sketch on top of that. Typically I haven’t done lineart in the past because it adds a lot of time to the process and I never feel like it looks good compared to sketch. Now that I have clip studio though and the coloring process can go a lot faster with better lineart, I’ve been trying to do a bit cleaner sketches or full lineart. Coloring usually is flat colors first, washed shading next and then multiple layer styles on top of that of highlights and shading. I usually do washed shading as a sort of “sketch” for the shades. Usually a rough colored drawing takes about 2 hours? Sometimes a bit more depending on how much I clean up the lines, sometimes less if I just slap on the colors and lines.
The things that I feel I need to work on the most are usually in regards to colors and composition. I tend to focus up my character compositions to fill the whole page either by intentionally drawing them large or by enlarging the sketches to fill the page size. But if it’s a composition that isn’t character focused or has some more environmental aspects then I tend to struggle. My color choices also are hard to do because I don’t usually consider them in my sketching phase. Since I usually go into pieces with an idea of what person, character or outfits I’m drawing then colors tend not to be something I think too much about. This is something I notice a lot in environmental drawings though because the colors get so clashed when actual lighting and such needs to be planned out against a certain layout. Which sucks because I absolutely LOVE vibrant coloring and such but I don’t know how to make that work with environment stuff yet.
A lot of what I want to draw, in both style and “substance”, is character driven. I like action that shows a lot of atmosphere or feels very in character. When a still image can feel like it captures the feeling of a moment or feels like it was made with a real idea in mind that means a lot to me, so that’s what I try to go in with when I’m drawing. For characters and such that can be a variety of things from just lounging around or hanging out to getting dressed-up or a variety of actions. It’s really fun to see so much more in the things that I like and to be able to share those things through art is wonderful.
To send you off I want to say that…I like being an artist. It’s so nice to know and learn a skill like art since it can be a sort of perspective into a person’s views. People’s ability to connect over concepts and such is so cool and I feel like even today when we have fine art, fanart and everything in-between that it really sets up the fun of creativity and community. Right now there’s an ongoing official art series of Miku and Pokemon drawn by various artists. Some people have begun taking that concept and drawing it themselves, putting their own spins on it in their version of the pokemon style and outfits. It’s so cool that looking through it all I can barely tell which ones are official and which are fan made. Like it’s a clear cut conversation where everyone can give it a shot with their own ideas and can still be talking about the same thing. I think that’s lovely.
For my art in the future, I want to be able to design and draw a buncha stuff. I really like stationary and want to make some stuff in the future for it. These report logs are one place I’ll be playing around with that to test it a bit so I’m excited to continue these. I also want to better my Background drawing because I really love the idea of being able to put characters in a location, somewhere I can imagine them being. I’ve gotten better at character interactions but I want to think about how much further that can go if I add an environment. For the future of my style…I don’t know! I like to have a very dreamy or washed style but also bold colors and expressive lines. But I’ll definitely be thinking about it even more in the future as I start developing a finished my process (getting fully rendered colors, lineart, etc.).
#digital art#digital illustration#long reads#long post#clip studio paint#paint tool sai#paint tool sai 2#digital aritst#thank you for your time I'm giving some stuff a go!#i'd love to hear about what other's experiences are with programs and learning digital art has been over the years#it's been a really really weird learning curve in that most of the learning was just...futsing around#Hisui Notes
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