#dont worry guys even if i run out of images entirely ill figure something out im so dedicated to the sirius sunday grind

[siriussunday]

can you stop involving me in your shenanigans for just one second? it's

SIRIUS SUNDAY!

[letstalksymphogear]

Symphogear, EP. 6

Last Time on Grand Theft Auto:

Tsubasa recovers from the world’s gayest coma as Hibiki trains her mind while putting aside such silly concepts as “the love of my life” and “literally being with my girlfriend.” After cooling Miku’s paranoia with her brand new washboard abs, Genjuro prepares the team for a pizza run across the city to deliver a dangerously hot pizza pie named Durandal. Chaos emerges as the delivery is intercepted by a rival pizza gang, lead by the nefarious Gremlin known as Yukine Chris. But, before the pizza could be claimed, dedicated pizza deliverywoman Hibiki not only steals it back, but eats it, harnessing the power of the pizza and unleashing cheesy pasta based chaos around the location.

Ryoko is so into it that she taps into her superpowers and protects Hibiki after she passes out. The delivery is considered a failure, and no tip is given.

And so, the journey continues...

Meanwhile, in this weird, tricked out mansion...

Chris meditates on some water metaphors of her own.

“that pacman colored freak took only touching it to activate a cheap ass french sword that gave her weird demon powers and its taken me YEARS to use this dumb stripper outfit and the funny cane that goes with it, what the FUCK man, what even is my life”

“maybe... maybe honeybaked hams ARE that powerful...”

“NO! turkey is the superior meat! it’s healthier, lower in fat, and way more tasty! fuck you! i’ll get my goddamned revenge!”

Chris begins musing about Fine’s motivations to capture Hibiki; during these, we’re treated to some brief image flashbacks of Chris’s life.

Suddenly, those jokes about food are a lot less funny.

It doesn’t take a genius to put two and two together as to why this young woman is helping a strange nudist dominatrix spread alien terror across the city of mumblednoises, Japan. She doesn’t really have many an option on the table. It’s either help the weird kinkster with her plans, or die.

Despite everything, she has a high opinion of Fine, for the same reasons someone might have a high opinion of a television show if it were the only show they were ever exposed to. She is deeply afraid of being alone again, because she has lived through such misery that the very thought of existing out in the cold again terrifies the shit out of her.

The Sun rises casually amidst Chris’s thoughts.

“ah shit. it just hit me. i literally have spent the entire night standing here instead of actually going the fuck to sleep. goddamnit.”

On such a devious metaphorical twist, Fine stands behind her as the Sun rises.

“yeah, jokes on you. i couldnt sleep for shit either. turns out, all nude, no blankets? in japan? real bad idea.”

“thats why i decided to GO GOTH, babey! whattaya think? do i give those witchy vibes, huh? real ‘black magic woman’ santana hours? feeling cute, gonna head out with the girls and summon satan in the woods kinda aesthetic looking shit? come on, be real with me. does this not look baller?”

“you look like morticia decided to go to the grocery store to buy some wonder bread, but other than that, its a step up from your usual pussy out attitude, so sure”

“you know i decided to get some brain cells on loan from Brain Cells R Us, and ive been thinking this solomon cane stuff is solomon lame. i dont need this dumb oversized harry potter cosplay prop to get shit done. also, murder is... sorta bad? im still trying to get the brain cell stuff down.”

“i can punch just as good as goody two shoes if not better.”

“lol go do it then champ, im gonna go cut down a forest of trees now”

And so, they both just kinda... stand there.

“QUACK, NEXT SCENE, QUACK”

Meanwhile, Tsubasa is rapidly trying to rehabilitate herself from her wounds like walking like a madman, her IV drip presumably filled with Taco Bell brand Doritos Locos Tacos super spicy nacho cheese. Taco Bell: Live Mas.

“im gonna clear every fucking taco bell in your goddamned memory, kanade”

“think outside the bun! wait, what? that was a taco bell slogan? ah fuck it, im dead. what nerd’s gonna try and correct me?”

“i would, kanade. i am that nerd.”

Tsubasa is hell bent to try and understand Kanade’s simple philosophy of helping others selflessly. Unfortunately, when Kanade died, she took all the brain cells between them in the process, so coming to this epiphany is a work in progress.

“listen its a fucking miracle you are 1. alive and 2. able to have your blood run on the garbage melted plastic taco bell tries to dupe people into believing is cheese so why dont you just lie down and think of better franchises to eat from”

“no! you dont understand! taco bell is a franchise of the PEOPLE! their meals are cheap and filling and- and the chicken quesadillas are of good quality for their price! i promised kanade- my vow to the death. taco bell... ergh... now and forever... i-”

“wait. my gay senses are tingling.”

It’s Hibiki, probably running track with Miku.

“oh yeah... her... i should probably apologize to her. about trying to kill her. and then letting her almost be kidnapped. and just giving her a general hard time about something that wasn’t explained to her in the slightest for months. she’s a good bean.”

Tsubasa proceeds to never canonically apologize to Hibiki throughout the entirety of all 4 seasons of Symphogear.

Look at em run. See, it’s a metaphor, because they haven’t communicated yet and they’re running from their problems! But they’re running towards Tsubasa, who is part of the representative problem these two share! Clearly literary genius.

It’s like someone went halfway into writing an NTR plotline and went “maybe this isn’t a good idea to market our songs on.”

Hibiki is still thinking about her Hellshake Yano moment with Durandal. Mainly how she nearly killed someone with it. Hibiki is very starkly in the “killing is bad, and wrong” camp of morality, a trait currently unique to her that she’ll wind up teaching literally everyone else she meets one way or another.

Some could argue the L stands for Lydian, and they’re wrong. It stands for Lesbian.

“that was one hell of a run, hibiki! im pooped! why dont we go to the locker room and call it a day, have a nice shower and just get some dinn-”

“this is the last straw.

i clean your plates. i cook your food. we eat, shit, shower, and sleep in the same FUCKING area, and this is how you repay me? huh? you think being your wife is easy shit, hibiki? half the damn time you’re running off like clark kent having food poisoning and the other half ive gotta babysit you, the emotional equivalent of a preteen clown, to make sure your life doesn’t self destruct harder than Atlantis sinking into the ocean. im done! i am DONE. im reopening my tinder, im slamming my ass BACK into okcupid, and im gonna date some CUTE ACADEMY GIRLS that treat me BETTER than this ABSOLUTE BETRAYAL OF HEART AND IM NOT CRYING I SWEAR ITS JUST THE SWEAT IN MY EYES AND HIBIKI HOW COULD YOU-”

“oh yeah, sure! hey, lemme just do a few more laps, ive just been feeling judgmental about myself and my figure, you know? gotta push myself further...”

“o-oh yeah, sure. no worries, ill wait for you. love you too, hibiki...”

The girls bathe together, as good friends typically do.

“hey you ever notice the showers here have like, weird psuedo-luxurious minipools to bathe in? like, how rich is this school?”

“whoever made this place is either rich or a pervert. or both, probably!”

Miku remarks that Hibiki has changed since she’s entered Lydian, in a manner most unheterosexual.

“oh FUCK you really DO have washboard abs now! ohhh my god.”

“damn, those abs were heavenly. let’s get pancakes later.”

I won’t screenshot it but something to note is that they actually wear each other’s corresponding underwear colors (or even, if you want to examine more closely, each other’s underwear). Here’s an equivalent scene to give you the mental image.

This is the face of someone who knows what they want and already have it. Such is the power of Kohinata Miku.

Meanwhile, Genjuro comes back from the funeral of the guy the Americans filled violently and with impunity.

“yo that all black look looks baller. i should borrow that look... id look pretty gothy in it.”

“ryoko i sympathize with your sharp, fashionista eye but this was for a funeral, i was paying my respects to the dead. thats the usual dress code.”

“didnt know they updated that. i remember back in my day, we just went in white garments and chanted in latin!”

“shit was fire. literally. lots of funeral pyres.”

“lmao ryoko buddy your larping sessions arent actual history”

“hey dont shit on larping around me. i used to be a professional larper while i was majoring in acting. helped really sell my career when i had to pretend to slay the Dark Lord Jyarloen atop the mountain of skulls in Hargobor after my family was killed by the Dark Army. asshole.”

“haha yeah, larping, thats cool yeah, i do that

i...

i larp.”

“oh yeah? you wanna join my larping session sometime then? we’re gonna do an ancient babylon plot thats inspired by some anime, itll be fun”

“.....................................im super into realism.”

“i know im dressed for a funeral but id like to not part ways with my dignity yet. besides, we’ve got serious shit to talk about. basically, we’re on the verge of getting shitcanned.”

As it turns out, the death of this politician removed the last obstacle of opposition to maintain the 2nd Division, as the average criticism against the 2nd Division is “why are we funding this mystery division when we don’t know what they do”. Of course, the sensible idea for an organization that defeats the Noise is to declassify it, given people of different jobs and positions have physically seen the Symphogear in action, but you know. “Oh no, the other governments will come after us” stick gets shaken.

“im in a union. i know my rights. you’re not taking my acting job here away from me.”

“im not going back to be a preschool teacher. its been ten year. the bites on my ankles still havent healed...”

“yeah man, shit sucks ass. i cant fund my adoption habits if im fired.”

Look at these cinematic parallels. Symphogear truly is a franchise made by someone living in 3030.

“worst part is the new minister is super into america. he’s a... westaboo.”

“a westaboo?”

“westaboo?”

“did he just unironically say westaboo”

“he said westaboo. oh my god. this is the hell timeline.”

“i mean people kept calling me that for worshipping all these fighting flicks so i guess it fit? i dont see the problem here”

Meanwhile, in Lydian Academy...

“so it hit me, right? we’re ALL girls. and we ALL sing. now, humor me a moment. what if... what if we’ve all been recruited to potentially be superheroes... through our singing? like, there’s no coincidence that all this shit happens around us, right? and a famous singer LIVES here? i saw the black cars outside! weird shit is happening here- im not even gonna eat the all you can eat bar anymore!”

“kathy there is literally no such thing as superheroes who sing. this place is more likely to be a organ harvesting op than whatever madness you’re saying”

“what? you need me, a singing superhero, to go stop a problem happening underneath the school, a location meant to recruit young women into potentially becoming fellow crime fighting singers?”

“yeah im too busy poppin’ caps in asses so go kick ass in my place”

“sure!”

“.....................................who ya talkin to, hibiki?”

“the boss! gotta go do a thing again...”

“hibiki, i dont like the fact that capitalism is tearing us apart.”

“you’ve gotta join me in the revolution, hibiki. you. me. luxury automated gay space communism. aint it the dream? share my vision, hibiki. its glorious.”

“n... no...? no gay space communism today? well, what about tomorrow? or the next day? or... maybe the next day? baby steps, you say? but, direction action, hibiki! we’ve gotta strike now!”

“it’s okay hibiki. when i take over the world and destroy all first world government leaders, and unite the globe in my encompassing reign and love... ill make sure to spare you, and be my bride to be.”

“thanks miku. im just not ready yet for the globe to burn in an unending ball of fire as the continents fuse into a new utopia composed of our combined wills. also, ive really gotta go, its genuinely an emergency.”

“for the cause!”

“yes hibiki... for the cause...”

Admittedly, you can see the stages of grief Miku goes through when she sees Hibiki say she can’t join her for pancakes. It’s sad. This side story sucks.

Meanwhile, as it turns out, the problem Hibiki needed to resolve was checking on Tsubasa to see if she hadn’t dissolved into Taco Bell brand hot n’ spicy Tabasco sauce.

“god, cant believe taco bell was closed. now i gotta deliver these lame ass flowers”

“cant wait to get threatened again. wonder what she’ll say. ‘hibiki, i should have killed you when i had the chance.’ or ‘you’re so goddamned weak. i could break your spine with my fingernail’, or some other stuff about metaphors. oh, my stops here”

“HEY BITCH WHATS GOOD-”

“HOLY SHIT”

“you are already”

“dead.”

[junker-town]

A guide to the West Coast swing, the best stretch on the PGA Tour schedule

We’re going back to Cali for a fantastic 5-week run on the PGA Tour schedule. Here’s a guide for Tiger’s return, Spieth’s slump, and some of the best venues on the pro circuit.

The PGA Tour season never really ends. There may be a few weeks it goes into hibernation around the holidays, but that’s it. The “season” now wraps around two different years and just goes on and on with playing opportunities available for its members almost year-round.

There are a few categorical sections we can discern in the constant march. There are different “swings” such as the Florida swing or Hawaii swing and then there is, of course, the all-important “Playoffs” at the end, which will now come before Labor Day and avoid being swallowed whole by football. We are now entering the West Coast swing, the annual five-week stretch in California and Arizona that may just be the best cluster on the entire schedule (it is definitely the best).

There’s no major championship snapping the sports world’s attention to golf and most of the country is frozen thinking about football and basketball, but this stretch includes the Tour’s best run of venues, fields, and tradition. The West Coast swing has it all, even if you’re not fully paying attention to golf yet. It also marks the return of Tiger Woods, who annually comes back to the Tour at Torrey Pines and will do so again in 2019.

Here’s your schedule for this year.

With such a nice, delineated portion of the schedule to examine, we decided to kick around a few topics and potential discussion points for the next five weeks. It’s a great stretch for the PGA Tour, even if you’re not exactly ready to jump headfirst into the golf season.

Event you’re most excited about is ...

Brendan: Riviera. This is the best stretch on the schedule, in my opinion, and there are multiple great events. But the answer to this will always be Riviera. It is one of the rare venues on the PGA Tour rota that is worth a pilgrimage, in the same way you might go visit a famous venue in another sport, such as Wrigley Field or Lambeau Field. It’s that good. You’re dropped in a canyon in the middle of Los Angeles that boasts one of the great classic courses in the country. Also, the field continues to be absolutely loaded. Every top player from across the world wants to come to the only stop in LA and now that Tiger’s foundation is hosting it, they get the Tiger bounce too. This is the PGA Tour’s best event, even including The Players.

Kyle: Scottsdale, baby. You can have your traditionalism at Riv. That’s fine, it’s a good event. The People’s Open is and will always be exactly what I want a modern golf tournament to look like. It is loud and stupid and boorish and gauche and there’s a music festival on-site. It’s an event, not a golf tournament — and the pomp and circumstance (?) of lots of 32-year-old mutual fund wholesalers named Chad getting drunk in a desert is something I can’t pass up. I’m making my first pilgrimage this year.

Oh, and yeah, the finishes are usually great even if 15 holes of the course are rather forgettable.

Tiger returns, again, at Torrey and Riv and he will ...

Brendan: I think Tiger makes the cut at Torrey, finishes around 30th, and then misses the cut at Riviera. It’s been awhile since we saw him in competition and he didn’t exactly light it up after his Tour Championship win. I think he begins the year easing his way into it and Torrey is not exactly a perfect fit for his game anymore. Despite his saying it fits his eye, he’s never done well at Riviera, where bombers have a distinct advantage. Tiger will try to whale away and get caught up in the sycamores and eucalyptus. I so, so bad want him to show out at Riviera and light it up in LA but I don’t think it happens this year. He’s going to get some reps with an eye on Augusta.

Kyle: My expectations are honestly through-the-floor low. I’m expecting a bit of a regression from that Tour Championship mania to start this year. Surely we flew too close to the sun in 2018 with the near misses at Birkdale and Bellerive, and the win at East Lake, right? Cat’s had a long layoff, looked somewhat shaky in both The Match and Hero World Challenge. You hit on all of his struggles at Riv, and I’ll agree that aging Tiger isn’t built for Torrey’s milquetoast length anymore. I’ll go CUT-CUT to start the year, though I don’t think it’ll be anything worth extrapolating too much from. It’s golf, form fluctuates, he’ll be fine.

One player who absolutely needs to play well ...

Brendan: I don’t think anyone absolutely has to play well. It’s the first quarter of the season and what happens in February can mean little for April through July. But Jordan Spieth sure could use some positive rounds. I think he is the one player most in the crosshairs at the start of the year and his comments at the Sony Open did little to instill confidence that he’s close to figuring it out. He sounded lost and even resigned at times. He has added Torrey Pines to the schedule for the first time in a few years, and has won at Pebble Beach, where he always shows up to shake hands as the title sponsor’s golden boy. If he misses every cut until March, I still think he can show up to Augusta and win with his game in shambles and complete trash of a statistical profile. But every round and meeting with the press he has until then won’t be particularly carefree if he bombs on the West Coast swing.

Kyle: Thought exercise: I’m going to ask you to rattle off a list of 30-something PGA Tour pros that have won exactly one time on Tour in the last three seasons. Seem difficult? Impossible? Of course it is! That list contains a bunch of just, uh, guys — and also Rickie Fowler.

That’s right! One of America’s biggest golf “stars” has the same number of Tour wins as Aaron Baddeley and Ted Potter, Jr. over the last three seasons. He’s now 30. He has four career PGA Tour wins. Yes, he contends. Yes, he’s an elite-level talent. But, how long are we going to keep this up? At what point do you just become Chris Kirk with a motocross bike?

Winning at Riv or in Scottsdale won’t get the burden off Rick’s back, but what it might do is warm up a bit of confidence upstairs if he finds himself in contention at a major in 2019. Is this the year he finally breaks through at the WMPO after near misses each of the last three years?

Photo by Christian Petersen/Getty Images

Rickie during another close call at the Phoenix Open.

An underrated player or story you most want to see pop ...

Brendan: Can I interest you in a Steve Marino comeback arc!? No? OK, well I am interested in this. I did a double take when I saw him in the field at the Sony and it appears Marino is in relatively good enough health and shape to play a full PGA Tour schedule here at the top of the year. He’s on the field list for the Desert Classic, Torrey Pines, Phoenix Open, and Pebble Pro-Am. That’s a damn full run for Marino, who is a bit of an off-course legend and everyman that I would love to see pop again on the PGA Tour. We need more characters!

The rookie (or sophomore) you most want to watch ...

Brendan: The obvious and correct answer here is Jose de Jesus Rodriguez, the 37-year-old Mexican with the most triumphant story of getting to the PGA Tour in the league’s history. It’s a damn inspiration and everyone should be rooting for the rookie to get a win on this West Coast swing to lock up a spot in the Masters. But outside of that obvious choice, I’ll go with Chris Thompson, the 42-year-old rookie that goes completely against the trend of the modern game. Thompson may not bubble with personality and he’s exactly the kind of rookie the Tour does NOT want to promote. They want the 22-year-old that hits it 350 yards. There are dozens of those robots coming to plug in to the latest Live Under Par ad, so for now, I’ll watch and root for Thompson to make some noise on the most competitive tour in the world.

Kyle: Sorry, yell at me, fine. I know the cool and hot thing to do is lament the effect of Drivebots on today’s game, but I will mainline all the Cam Champ you can possibly supply me. I’m all in on a freakish athlete who flies the ball miles past other long hitters on tour, especially one with a backstory as interesting as Champ’s. He’s already won once this year, and I’ll be more surprised if it doesn’t happen again this year.

Photo by Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images

Brendan: I am very into that, too! I was just looking for some non-Champ answer. He will be awesome to watch, especially at these venues.

One thing or person that will get plenty of attention that you just do not care about ...

Brendan: I am verrrry worried that the suffocating mainstream golf media is going to choke the joy out of following Hosung Choi, if they haven’t already done so. Choi will be a treat to watch at Pebble Beach. The one story I am already sick of is putting with the pin still in the cup. That’s going to continue to get lots of love as CBS joins the broadcast fray and more and more fans tune in for the first time this year. I’m over it. It’s fine and cool and let’s move on from talking about the new rules.

Kyle: Bryson. I’m tired of Bryson. The bit is old. I’m tired of the putting with the pin in, I’m tired of the carefully-crafted pseudoscience used to develop brand power for Cobra/Puma, I’m tired of the driving-range mental breakdowns that are sure to come, I’m tired of the “Well, Christ Had Haters Too” attitude toward anyone who dare doubt his transparent grift in the name of physics. I beg you to get this man off my television, until someone finally asks his thoughts on global warming during a press conference.

Will Johnny Miller cry at the Phoenix Open?

Brendan: Yes. Despite his spicy commentary and gruff exterior, I think Johnny is an emotional softie and this is the end of a legendary run. Also, remember when he oddly got choked up talking about Keegan Bradley at the end of last year’s BMW Championship? That was one of the weirder and more unexpected turns of the 2018 season.

Kyle: No. Absolutely not. I present you this quote on why he made Phoenix his last stop, via Golf Digest:

“I was always known as the ‘Desert Fox.’ My best golf, besides that final round at Oakmont, came in the desert, especially in 1975 when I won by 14 shots in Phoenix and by nine shots in Tucson. I was playing at a level of golf those two weeks as good or better than I’ve ever seen anyone hit the ball.”

Emotion and reflection requires self-awareness, of which John has none. We’d have him no other way.

One crazy prediction or spicy take ...

Brendan: Jordan Spieth does not make a cut on the West Coast swing and someone proclaims he is completely washed. Phil Mickelson wins in Phoenix, and in keeping with tradition, does so in a playoff against Hideki Matsuyama that runs into the halftime show of the Super Bowl.

Kyle: Cam Champ wins again before we head to Florida, and a whole bunch of people throw way, way too much money on him at the Superbook before we get to Augusta.

[mamoruanjou]

My turn! What about 12-30?

12. Who told you they loved you last?

SOL

13. Your worst enemy?

no joke, myself

14. What is your current desktop picture?

a whimsicott tile image… im not gonna post it bc its fanart but its been like that for a long time now bc i cant change my bg due to windows ~not being activated~ or whatever. long story there but tl;dr my dad refuses to listen to anyone and fucked my entire system up beyond repair. thanks

15. Do you like someone?

i like everyone who looks in my general direction and doesnt completely ignore me

BUT SERIOUSLY like. im lov sol

16. The last song you listened to?

THE OPENING TO ONE OF THE ANIME I TOLD U ABOUT its really good tho

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

_ I DONT LIKE USING NAMES not bc its a vague or anything but bc it was my recent abuser and i dont want to give any sort of acknowledgement bc fuck that guy

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

myself BUT NO UHM I cant really think of anyone actually. aside from like. obvious Bad people so i guess same answer as last question

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?

nahhh  no one im not gonna force anyone to do anything

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)

EYELASHES ive been blessed ive never had to wear mascara in my life but ppl still think i do lol

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?

gender is fake honestly like im both genderless and multiple genders at the same time and theres a weird sliding scale to go along with it so what would count as “opposite” here

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?

nah lmao i have exactly -4 talents so u kno

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?

idk all the fears i can think of that i have are pretty typical

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.

grilled cheese

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?

assuming bills are already taken care of, probably buy smth small for my friends and use whats left for food or cards lol

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?

omw to new jersey to hang w/ sol and the gang

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?

malibu coconut rum LOL

either that or the bud light watermelonritas

OR MIKES HARD PEACH

fuck now i cant choose

listen i have terrible taste in alcohol but that doesnt stop me

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?

everyone gets a brick. what you do with it is up to you

29. What is your favorite expletive?

ok ngl im stupid and had to google that and it didnt help much bc the sites told me “a filler” but then “curse word” so ill do both here

eeeeeeee is my favorite filler and my fav curse word is probably everyones favorite the big ol FUCK

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?

MY CARDS if i had to pick one deck specifically it would be hard to choose but id have to do my angel feather deck (in the same tier is my metalborgs and then everything else is the step below that)