violentcloudchaser - Tumblr blog

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ugh i need to drink with post-graduate suga i just know it would fix me >_>

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— cried like a baby (coming home from the bar

"Said I'm fine but it wasn't true, I don't wanna keep secrets just to keep you" — Cruel Summer, Taylor Swift miniseries m.list | part 1

a/n: the next part of my drunk!Sakusa miniseries :) although most of the series is isolated drabbles, this is a semi-part 2 of the first one (though there may be minor discrepancies bc I didn't originally intend for it to be a direct continuation). I hope you all like it!

-> this fic is part of the @ficsforgaza initiative and is partially sponsored by @strawberrystepmom <3 sorry for the wait and thank you for your donation! Info on the next wip I'm hoping to get sponsored is here.

Sakusa Kiyoomi doesn't know what's wrong with him.

You've been near him all night, dizzyingly within reach and yet, Sakusa knows it is not his place to reach out. You're wearing that perfume—the one he gave you one Christmas years ago, at a time when everything was better and he didn't have conflicting feelings about you.

God, he hates feelings.

He wonders if you remember—he hopes you remember—because he remembers having to call Komori’s sister for advice on which scent to choose. He remembers your smile as you sprayed some on your wrist and brought it up to your face to sniff. He remembers you wearing it that night—the night he was so stupid that he let it all go.

But none of that matters anymore, because last Christmas he didn't get you anything, and he hasn't been close enough to you to know whether you still wore the perfume or not.

Until now.

He's sobered up enough to be a little more aware of you helping him up the stairs to your apartment and to be a little panicked because why did he tell you he was fine with spending the night?

You're kind, letting him stay because he's too alcoholically impaired—despite everything he's ever done to you. You just don't want to be driving in a storm, he tries to reason. It's your job to take care of him. But it's not; it hasn't been in a long time since you stopped being a manager for MSBY, something which Sakusa would know better than anyone if he had been a bit sounder of mind.

Once inside, you somehow manage to wrestle off his shoes and lead him to the kitchen. It's an unfamiliar kitchen, one with white tiles that Sakusa would have complained against. There’s a faint smell of lemons, and he thinks briefly of dancing and your laughter—a memory, or perhaps just his imagination.

“Stay here, alright?” you say quietly, accommodating to his current sensitive hearing levels. You set him down at the table, leaving to get him a towel, he supposes.

Your apartment is small—cozy, he supposes. The right amount of space for a single person. A sense of relief rushes through him at the observation and he lets out a satisfied hum.

(He chooses to ignore the fact that he has no right to be happy over your lack of a roommate.)

“Here, I think this will fit you,” the door thumps as you close it behind you, already changed out of your wet clothes. In your arms are a towel and what he assumes to be dry clothing for him. Your fingers burn wherever they come in contact with his skin as you help him take his shirt off and he shudders, hoping you’ll assume he's just cold from the rain.

Sakusa feels self-conscious—how long has it been since you've been intimate like this? Since you've been near him like this?

The shirt you provide fits perfectly, and Sakusa is too busy at first relishing in the familiar scent of your favorite laundry detergent (one you had stopped buying when he was around because the other one cleans better, he’d argued) to wonder why you have a men's size shirt in your apartment.

You're drying his hair when the question finally crosses his mind and he tenses. Your movements come to a stop, and you lean forward curiously. “What's wrong?” you ask, voice right by his ear, and Sakusa shivers.

He's drunk, and he misses you—he misses you like he never thought he would and it's all his fault for being a grand, stupid idiot.

But a grand, stupid idiot is what he is now as the alcohol rushes through his system, so when he says, “I'm fine,” and you insist again, he turns to ask you, “Who's shirt is this?”

This time, you tense up, gaze becoming unreadable. You stand up straight, resuming your previous motions, though much more stiff than before. “What does it matter to you, Sakusa?” your voice is clipped, and his heart clenches at the way you say his name. “You are nothing to me to be asking that question.”

He has nothing to say to that because you’re right and he regrets it—regrets asking, regrets agreeing to come with you, regrets getting drunk in the first place; but most of all, he regrets letting you go.

So, Sakusa cries.

The tears fall one by one, fat and warm as they slide down his face, then eventually he's fully weeping: hands clenched into fists on his lap and hunched over in an attempt to conceal the way he cannot control his emotions.

You're stunned, he can feel your startled gaze burning into him as a loud whimper claws its way out of his throat.

He sits up—burying his face in his hands as his body shakes violently with each sob. You’ve repositioned yourself in front of him and you’re hugging him, but he can barely register it over how much he hates himself right now. It's a disgusting feeling bubbling in his chest—a self-loathing that he's managed to suppress all these years you've been gone.

Because he's the only one to blame for you leaving.

So he takes advantage of the fact that you're here now—you're here with him—and he buries himself into you, trying to engrave anything his memory might have missed before you let him go and he has to lose you again.

“I miss you,” he sobs, “I miss you so much.” The circles you're tracing on his back pause for a moment, almost imperceptible, but he feels it and you sigh shakily.

“Sakusa,” you say. It's only his name, but it feels like a warning, and Sakusa might actually lose his mind if you ever finish your statement.

“No, please,” he begs, “I'm an idiot.”

A rueful giggle bursts through your lips, and as he glances up at you, he notices you're starting to cry too. His hand cups your face, thumb brushing away a stray tear, and you bite your lip. You seem to debate it in your head, but whatever voice of reason usually reigns seems to huff in defeat, because you lean into his touch with another sigh, eyes squeezing shut.

“I'm sorry,” he says, and it feels like salvation.

“You're an asshole,” you giggle tearfully again. “You broke my heart, you know that?”

“I know,” Sakusa’s reply is quick. “I know.”

His forehead rests on yours, angling his face so your noses brush against each other, your lips so near—the nearest they've been in too many years.

And he cannot wait any longer.

It's hesitant, really only the whisper of a kiss as his fear pounds through his body, but you respond, pushing back against him with more force. You throw your arms around his neck, not breaking the kiss as you position yourself on his lap. He groans at the sudden weight, pulling away and tilting his head back, and you take the opportunity to place soft kisses on his jaw and neck. Your hands cling to his shirt as you make your way back to his lips, both breathless and shuddering at the sudden overdose of each other.

“It's yours,” you whisper, leaning back, refusing to meet his eyes. “The shirt. It's yours. You left it and I…” This time you do look up at him. “I couldn't bring myself to give it back.

Sakusa thinks you've never looked more beautiful than you do now, perched on his lap with your hair still wet from the rain, a towel on your shoulders, and hands fiddling nervously as you peer up at him, lips bright and red—all because of him, and only him. So Sakusa leans in to kiss you again, because what does it matter whose shirt it is anyway, when he's the one here that you're kissing?

“How are you feeling?” you ask softly as he pulls away. “Is your head still hurting?”

He just hums as you hold his face in your hands. “I'm fine.”

You laugh—a proper, full, heavenly laugh that Sakusa swears could beat any symphony or concerto in the world in terms of sonic beauty. “Liar,” you accuse through chortles, “Look at you, sopping wet all over my chair and floor and drunk out of your mind—I don't think you're fine at all.”

He smiles, pulling you into a hug, more sure than he's ever been when he says, “This time, it's true.”

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Hello everyone, after several years of inactivity, “a request for your hand,” the next wip for my project, is completed and now in the editing stage. This is a wip going to the @/ficsforgaza initiative and currently has no sponsors.

I have a minimum goal of 500 sponsored wc/1k total wc, so please donate! I will not be posting this work until the minimum has been met.

To sponsor, make a donation to a verified fundraiser (gazafunds.com is good if you don’t know where to start) + then send me an ask with a screenshot with proof of the donation (make sure to block out your personal info). I have a rate of $1 USD = 100 words, but the $5 I’m asking for doesn’t have to be in the same donation. Even if we meet the minimum goal, please still donate if you wish to sponsor this wip!

Find out more info on my participation in @/ficsforgaza here.

banners by @/ficsforgaza and @/cafekitsune

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Ok I have no impulse control and had a sudden stroke of inspiration and word vomited into a Google doc and now the next part of my drunk!Sakusa miniseries is written

HOWEVER I'm trying to get it sponsored, so if I could get at least 500 words of it sponsored it's all yours (the total wc is a little over 1k)

To sponsor, just make a donation to a verified fundraiser for Palestine (gazafunds.com randomly selects a different one every day) + then send me an ask with a screenshot with proof of the donation (make sure to block out your personal info!)

$1 will sponsor 100 words, u can also find more info here :) reblogs are appreciated, thank u <3

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🍉 — fics for Gaza !

Hello everyone, I will be participating in the @ficsforgaza fundraising initiative, accepting both wip sponsorships + requests! My rates for the two differ so please see that information below

🍉 — how to participate

Make a donation to a verified fundraiser (gazafunds.com randomly selects a different one every day, I was also directly asked through my inbox to support this fundraiser) + then send me an ask with a screenshot with proof of the donation (make sure to block out your personal info!)

In the same ask, tell me which fundraiser you donated to and the wip/request you'd like the sponsor! I will not be posting these, so I will send confirmation through a dm; if you're on anon then I will make a separate post letting you know it went through. Your proof of donation will be shared with @ficsforgaza for their records and verification

I only write Haikyuu!! for both character x reader AND character x character (link to guidelines here), any character x character works will be posted to my AO3 instead of tumblr

*If you want to request but don't know where to start, give me 5 words from this random word generator and I will work something out using at least 3 of the given words OR send me a Taylor Swift song + character/ship! Please also specify whether you want angst/fluff or if it doesn't matter

🍉 — rates

wip rate: $1 USD = 100 words (i.e. $5 = 500 words; $10 = 1k words)

request rate: $1 USD = 75 words, minimum of $3 donation (225 words); $7 USD = 525+ words

*I do not take requests outside of these circumstances, hence the higher rate. Any request donations higher than $7 will no longer affect word count, but are always appreciated

🍉 — amount raised: $0 USD

🍉 — wips available for sponsorship

character x reader

he loves me, he loves me not

— it's just a silly game, really

# — Oikawa Tooru, fluff, angst

sponsored wc: 0/1k | written wc: 700/???

drunk (on you) miniseries ->

-> cried like a baby (coming home from the bar)

— "And I cried like a baby coming home from the bar, oh, said 'I'm fine' but it wasn't true" — Cruel Summer, Taylor Swift

# — drunk!Sakusa Kiyoomi, angst to fluff

*part of drunk (on you) miniseries

sponsored wc: 0/500 | written wc: 0/???

-> drunk (in love)

— "and if I'm gonna be drunk, I might as well be drunk in love" — Slut!, Taylor Swift

# — drunk!Sakusa Kiyoomi, fluff

*part of drunk (on you) miniseries

sponsored wc: 0/500 | written wc: 0/???

-> got drunk (and made fun of the way you talk)

— "you should take it as a compliment that I got drunk and made fun of the way you talk" — Gorgeous, Taylor Swift

# — drunk!Sakusa Kiyoomi, fluff

*part of drunk (on you) miniseries

sponsored wc: 0/500 | written wc: 0/???

(Title Pending), part of my side project

— it's Nationals, and Atsumu meets someone cute

# — Miya Atsumu, fluff

sponsored wc: 0/700 | written wc: 500/???

character x character

The Kagehina Fic™️, (Official title pending)

— we were both young when I first saw you // I close my eyes and the flashback starts, I'm standin' there // on a balcony in summer air

# — royalty au, prince!Kageyama x commoner!Hinata, crown prince!Oikawa x guard!Iwaizumi, fluff, angst, forbidden romance, no happy ending, step siblings!Kageyama and Oikawa, there is a masquerade ball, Daisuga gets married, lots of background ships and characters, they're all gay

sponsored wc: 0/25k | written wc: 0/???

*currently I have 2 drafts of the beginning of this work, one with 11k, and one with 1k, but since both were written a long time ago I want to rewrite the whole thing again to match my current writing style

Oh pretty baby (tentative title)

— Hinata Shoyo learns what love is again, centuries later

# — mythology au, god!Hinata x human!Kageyama, past god!Hinata x human!Atsumu, fluff, angst, intense pining, Kageyama can't see Hinata

sponsored wc: 0/10k | written wc: 0/???

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— drunk (in the front of your car)

"With you I’m drunk in the back of the car" — Cruel Summer, Taylor Swift Part of the drunk (on you) miniseries

a/n: posting in celebration of The Dumpster Battle movie filling me up with life again and also my birthday coming up this week!

Sakusa Kiyoomi regrets every decision he's made that has led him up to this point.

He knew better than to get wasted at his team’s night out—he always was a lightweight; so how was he here now, trying to not put too much weight against you as you try to walk him to your car?

Maybe it's the alcohol hitting his system that's making him lightheaded, or maybe it's the scent of your shampoo. He gets the urge to bury his face in the crook of your neck and maybe stay there forever. Yeah, that would be nice, he thinks.

Then he gets the urge to throw up, and the next thing he feels is your warm hand rubbing his back as he pukes into a trash can. He hates the bitter taste it leaves in his mouth, scrunching up his face, momentarily forgetting the situation he’s in.

"Hey, Sakusa," you gently say, startling Sakusa back into his senses. His skin tingles where your hand still rests. "Sakusa?"

He looks up at you, and he's suddenly hyper-aware of how he probably looks like absolute dogshit right now. He doesn't really care though.

(He does.)

He must've murmured a response because you smile at him—god, you have absolutely no right to be doing this to him—and you say, "Are you feeling better?"

Keep talking, he wants to tell you. You're beautiful. I think I'm in love with you. But he just mutters, "Yeah I'm good."

He goes red when he stumbles a bit, the soft giggle that slips past your lips only deepening the shade. You help him into your car, then you lean over him and god, Sakusa thinks, he wants to kiss you so badly.

You're only buckling his seatbelt, but you’re too close and it’s too much, and then you're looking up at him and saying something, but he can't hear you over the thundering of his heart. He wonders if you can hear it; surely you can, because he's shaking as he looks into your concerned eyes. He glances down and sees your tongue quickly swipe over your bottom lip and that's it, he thinks.

You pull away before he can muster the courage to lean in.

His headache is back when the radio comes on full blast as you start the car, followed by your flustered apology. He tries not to stare out the window at the bright city lights, but it's hard when on his other side is the one person he can't handle being alone with. 

Not sober, at least.

(Nor drunk.)

At the next red light, you turn, reaching for something in the back. You twist back to the front, handing Sakusa a water bottle. He glances at it skeptically and you grin.

"It’s unopened, I just bought the pack earlier today."

He nods, thanking you, and as the car starts moving, you glance at him again, still grinning as your eyes meet.

He almost chokes on his water.

He doesn't even notice when the rain starts. Absent-mindedly, he watches a drop of water trickle down the window, then another, and another. Before long, the rain makes a thick gray curtain over the city; a loud crack of thunder startles Sakusa out of his reverie.

That, and the soft string of curses that slip out of your mouth.

He watches you as you mutter to yourself, not registering the fact that the turns you're making aren't the way to his apartment. You park somewhere, and you smile sheepishly at him, saying, "Hey, since it's raining pretty heavily right now, I hope you don't mind, but I brought you to my place. It was a lot closer."

And maybe it's the thoughts from earlier still swimming in Sakusa's mind, or maybe it's the way he can't say no to you that he somehow manages to say, "I'll be okay for the night."

(No he won’t.)

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Happy Pride Month!! 🏳️‍🌈 <33

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royal au with tsukishima and yamaguchi

tsukishima is a crown prince of a very powerful kingdom and you are a royal of one of the lesser kingdoms in the area. prince tsukishima is being forced to marry, even though he has no interest in that. in fact if it was up to him he’d have chosen his personal servant, yamaguchi.

but when he meets you his mood completely flips. his feelings for yamaguchi dont go away, but new ones for you bloom.

tadashi couldnt help but fall in love with both of you and despite his wish to focus on his job and not his heart it was hard to ignore the closeness you both shared with each other and with him. if he wasnt with kei he was with you.

in the time that you expected to spend trying to find a way out of the forced corting you fell in love with two people you least expected.

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i think he deserves to be a little silly

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shoving your cold hands under their shirt to annoy them, but it backfires. they just grab your hands, give you a little wink, and go, “oh? looking to feel me up were you? touch all you like.”

ASMODEUS. solomon. tanaka. nishinoya. OIKAWA. atsumu. TERUSHIMA.

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i love you sm /p and i am so grateful for your reblogs!!! mwah mwah!!

- @sunshowerwriting

I am going to go and cry now 🐴

Thank you for making those great fics and also your original stories <333

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Tanaka who has to be touching you at all times when youre out in public.

Sometimes its holding your hand. He’ll hold it tightly, sometimes swinging your arm back and forth, sometimes kissing the back of it when you two have a moment.

Other times its a hand on your thigh. When youre sitting on the train, or at a restaurant he’ll rest his palm on your thigh. Rubbing your thigh or giving it a squeeze just to let you know he’s there with you.

He’ll place his hand on the small of your back. Normally when you’re standing in line waiting for something or talking to someone thats not him. He likes being able to poke and prod at you when he wants to.

And he’ll wrap his leg around your leg. When you’re sitting across from each other at a restaurant or even sitting side by side. He’ll bump your ankle with his food before somehow intertwining your legs.

He likes reminding others that the two of you are together but more importantly he likes feeling close to you every chance he gets.

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Thinking really hard about posting art on Tumblr but I'm scared-

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Top Surgery

(Blooming Panic) Quest, Nightowl, Xyx, & Nakedtoaster x TransMasc! Reader

524 Words

Y/n has recently gotten top surgery and the bloomic boys are here to give them a hand.

request by @moron-demon

Quest

He goes with you to every appointment leading up to it. Will not miss one even if you tell him that he doesn’t have to come to everyone. He will be there anyway because he wants to support you.

He takes off work to be with you for sure when you actually get the surgery. There’s no way he’s letting his boy go through such an important surgery by themselves.

Will pamper you and take care of you. Getting you whatever you need and waiting on you hand and foot.

He makes sure you always have painkillers and something to drink at arms reach. He also always makes sure you’re comfortable. Fluffing your pillows, washing your blankets. He’s over all just very doting on you.

He’s so happy for you. And he’s even happier when he sees you happy because of it.



Nightowl

He's so excited for you. More excited than you are maybe.

That’s probably not actually the case but he is very excited.

He does his best to take care of you after you’ve had the surgery, but this is Owl and he isn’t the best at taking care of people. Still, he does his best and the thought is appreciated.

Will wash your hair for you. It’s his favorite part of taking care of you actually. He even starts to say you should let him wash your hair for you when you’re fully healed too.

He will also rub your back or your legs or anything else that you may not be able to reach well because of the surgery.

He’d do anything to make you happy, and no matter what he’ll always support your decisions!



Xyx

Xyx will make so many jokes about your surgery in the time heading up to it if you’re okay with that. They’re so dumb but if it makes you laugh and feel less nervous about a big procedure like that he’s happy.

He takes care of you while you’re healing. Getting things you can’t reach, making you food, taking care of chores around the house. All the things he can do to make things easier on you.

He thinks it’s funny when you walk around with your arms all t-rex like. Will definitely make fun of you for it even though you can’t help it.

Will make sure you’re regularly taking painkillers and stuff like that. He doesn’t want you in pain if he can help it, so he makes sure to remind you even if he’s not in the house.



Nakedtoaster

They’ll pay for everything. Even if you don’t want them too, they will absolutely cover the costs for you.

He tries to make sure everything you could need is in reach of you so you can get it without risk of hurting yourself or ripping your stitches.

They’re so happy for you being able to get something so important to you. And they love that you’re so happy about it too.

He will hold your hand the whole time when you get to see your results for the first time. It’s his way of showing support and love.

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Captain’s Favorite Nerd

(Haikyuu) Kuroo Tetsuro x Male Reader

325 words

You keep to yourself, but somehow you’ve managed to win Kuroo over with your quiet tendencies and nerdy personality, what would he be like as your boyfriend.

sorry this is short :(

requested by @certifiedloverboy4evr

Kuroo likes dragging you out of your comfort zone. He will force you to do things with him or just make you come to the thing he’s doing to get you to do things with him. He normally doesn’t care if you keep to yourself when you are at the things he’s dragged you too, he's just happy to see you out of your own little habitat and socializing, kinda. 

You’re both nerds. Kuroo is just a nerd in a different way than you are. That doesn’t mean you can't convince him to play a few rounds of your favorite game with you. He's never any good though. You’d think being Kenma’s friend for so long that he’d get at least decent at a few games but he's really hopeless. 

Kuroo did introduce you to Kenma. And you hit it off quite well, but no one but the two of you could tell. You and Kenma are the type of friends that just sit silently together and do your own thing, and there is nothing wrong with that, but to the outside eye it can seem like you two don’t like each other that much. 

You had always felt comfortable around Kuroo. More so than you do with most people, and he is thankful to see you so comfortable around him. He likes that you trust him enough to open up around him. He also does realize that being quiet and keeping to yourself is just how you are though, so he doesn’t ever try to push you TOO hard to open up or do something too far out of your comfort zone. 

He will call you a nerd as a term of endearment. Any chance he gets he's calling you a nerd, it's his favorite pet name for you and you simply have to accept your fate. He will talk to his friends about how you're HIS nerd, so that's gotta count for something.

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No, I Suppose Not

Original Writing

1.7k words

A knight and his protégé fall in love. And their love for each other can not be hidden any longer.

Warnings: implied sexual acts and spice at the end

“Watch it old man, you might just throw your back out.” Varian’s voice was loud enough to be heard over the clashing of weapons. 

The clanking of metal meeting metal was loud in the training hall, but it was a guarantee all of the others training around the two men heard Varian’s comment. Chuckling could even be heard from a few of the other people. Before Varian could say anything else though, his feet were knocked out from under him and he landed with a thud on his back. 

“If you're going to run your mouth, at least have the skill to back it up.” The “old man”, Milo, said leaning over Varian.

The words made Varian roll his eyes and sit up with a huff. Varian almost looked like a pouting child ready to throw a tantrum which made Milo smile to himself. He extended a hand to the man on the ground which Varian took begrudgingly. Once he was pulled back to his feet Milo spoke again. 

“You’re getting better. Even if you aren't as good as me yet.”

“One day I will be better than you.” Varian shot back, making Milo chuckle. 

“I would have failed as your teacher if you didn’t become better than me.” 

The two men had been at each other's side since Varian had been a teen, and he had trained under Milo for that time too. It was true that Milo had a soft spot for the young man, and it had been like that since they met. Milo took Varian in when he had no one else, and trained him to be a fine fighter too, and throughout that time Milo had grown fond of the man, perhaps fonder than he realized.

Milo clapped a hand on Varian’s shoulders and squeezed him gently. Which made Varian’s face soften ever so slightly. 

“Come on, let's get a drink. You've earned it after training all day.” Milo said, beginning to walk his way out of the training hall.

Varian followed closely behind him, earning more than a few amused looks from the other knights training, but was ultimately left alone to equity follow after Milo. The older man threw a few looks over his shoulder at Varian, but their walk to the tavern was spent in silence. It was unclear if Varian was sulking or if he had just miraculously decided to keep his mouth shut on this occasion, but either way Milo enjoyed the brief silence. He certainly didn’t dislike hearing the younger knight's voice, but one man could only deal with so much snark out of Varians mouth. 

The tavern was almost empty, with only a few other patrons seated around when the two knights entered. However, almost every person gave a nod or a raise of their drinks at the sight of Milo. It paid off to be the captain of the guard, which led him to be a familiar and liked face in the kingdom. Milo was known for being a fierce fighter, but a kind man, he kept the townsfolk safe, and had been doing so since he himself was Varians age. 

Milo and Varian took a seat at the bar, ordering their usual drinks and falling into the routine they were quite familiar with. 

“You did good today, kid.” Milos' words were earnest but Varian was unimused if the scoff he let out was any indicator. 

“Kid?” Varian spoke with the most genuine offense Milo had heard. “I’m twenty-five now Milo, do you really see me as the same “kid” I was when you took me in.” 

Milo chuckled lightly, which led Varian to roll his eyes once more, but eventually the older man spoke. 

“No, I suppose not.” 

That was it. The only thing Milo said before silence took over the two once again. But it wasn’t  what Milo had said that gave Varian pause, it was how he said it. It sounded almost dreamily, fond even. Sure Varian knew Milo was fond of him, but this type of fondness seemed different. It made Varian’s face scrunch up in confusion. And he desperately wanted to question him on what he meant by that, but Milo continued. 

“You did good today though, and I’m proud of how far you've come,”

Varian’s face heated up. His pale cheeks turned a bright shade of red, and he quickly turned away from the older man. It wasn’t unheard of for Varian to get praise from Milo, in fact it happened quite often, but everytime he heard how genuine and earnest Milo’s words were Varian would have to look anywhere but the captain. Milo knew the effect his praise had on Varian, and sometimes he’d say things just to get the reaction out of the man. But he meant every word he said, he was incredibly proud of Varian, and he wanted him to know that. He loves Varian, and truly enjoyed praising him.

Love. The thought made Milo’s brain hault. Of course he loved Varian, he knew that, there was no reason for that thought to shock him. But it did. And he knew exactly why. It was more than just looking out for the young man at this point. He certainly knew that. He wouldn’t have stuck with Varian for the past decade if it was simply “looking out for him” and Varian did have a point, he wasn't a kid anymore, he didn’t need a mentor. He was skilled enough to thrive on his own, and even though Milo was known to bail him out of trouble often, Varian was smart enough to get out of it on his own one way or the other. 

Milo loved Varain. And it wasn't in the way a mentor would normally look at their student, or even in the way a knight would look at their fellow knights. And Milo was quickly coming to this realization. 

Milo’s eyes met the other man’s and for a moment they just looked at eachother. A moment passed between them before Varian smirked. A devious look that only appeared on his face when he was up to no good.

“Like what you see?” Varian raised his eyebrow suggestively as he spoke. “If you wanted to stare at me, all you had to do was ask old man.”

The ‘old man’ was clearly thrown in to taunt Milo, but the question still stood. So Milo decided to tease the other man back.

“Fine. Then I like what I see, so may I stare at you?” 

A small shocked noise came from Varians mouth, while his face flushed a bright shade of red once more. He seemed embarrassed for sure, but the look in his eyes seemed more than pleased with Milo’s comment. Varian leaned closer, so close that he could feel Milo’s breath on his face. His face was still red, and Milo caught the way his breath hitched at their close proximity. But still Varian spoke.

“Stare all you’d like.” 

Milo’s lips curled up into a smirk. He wasn’t expecting that kind of response from Varian, but it was certainly a welcomed one. Milo took a finger and gently tapped the underside of Varians chin. Varians eyes widened momentarily, not at the gesture but at the thoughts that were now going wild in his brain because of it. But before he could get too lost in thought, Milo took a final swig of his drink and stood up.

“I’m heading home.”  He spoke simply.

The look Milo shot Varian was different however. It was most certainly an invitation to follow along. And as Milo turned away to leave, Varian fell victim to that look. So he trotted after the older man to keep up and the walk to his home began. 

Varian was quiet once again, just as he had been on the way to the tavern.This felt like a more thoughtful silence, albeit a frantic one. The energy coming off of Varian was much less calm and peaceful than the quiet might suggest. Varian’s mind was racing with thoughts, most of which were much too frantic to stick around for longer than a few moments. But they all came from the same place, and that place stemmed from the thoughts Milo had been putting in Varians head all evening. 

They entered the quaint little house. Still in the silence that had fallen over them on the walk there. Varian didn’t want to break the silence, Milo knew that, so once they were both fully in the comfort of the living area of the home, Milo spoke up. 

“Look Varian,” He started with a sigh. “I need you to know that whatever you want out of tonight, I’m fine with.” 

Milos paused for a moment, clearly trying to figure out the way he wanted to phrase his next thought. But ultimately didn’t wait long enough for Varian to speak his own thoughts. 

“I don’t want what I want to sway you anyway, nor do I want our past to influence your opinion either. You're more than capable of making your own choices, so…” Milo took a deep breath.

“Just know tonight goes however you want it to.”

There was a moment of silence and then Varian laughed. It was a soft laugh that didn’t hold much humor in it. It seemed to be a sound of relief. And then that wicked smirk fell onto his mouth once more. 

“Look at me. You said yourself that you enjoyed doing so.” Varian stepped closer to the man as Milo’s eyes trailed over him as he had suggested. 

“Does it look like I have any objections?” Varian finished.

“No, I suppose not.”

As soon as the simple phrase left Milo’s mouth, Varian lurched forward. Standing on the tips of his toes he leaned in and kissed Milo. It was full of want and passion and love. Milo felt every feeling Varian was trying to convey and did his best to put every one of his own feelings back into the kiss. 

The hand Milo had around Varian’s waist pulled him closer, as close as they could get to one another. Varian’s own hands laced around Milos neck making sure they would stay close to one another for as long as they could. 

The night was still young and both men looked forward to making good use of their evening.