#dont wanna lose all i had when i was a “girl” but i don't wanna be one

[cepheusgalaxy]

I... something's weird

My mom started using the pronouns I asked her to a while ago... and it doesn't feel right? Like, probably it is because I'm not that used to it so I need a period of adaptation... but what if it's not? Like, my disphoria did't come that much from pronouns but I still don't wanna use she/her... or do I? Do I really wanna use he/him or I'm just going along with the "boy = he/him" logic??? I've tried they/them some times too... but it felt so bad. But thinking of it now, it may be becaude I always heard it with sarcasm? As a joke. As an insult. I also love my mom, and I know she's trying to help... but she keeps reminding me that its hard to keep up when I change pronouns and it makes me feel guilty... I've kept he/him for now because I thought that's what I wanted? But I'm not sure anymore. And regarding my name... I know I've chosen Heron but is it really the right one? Like... I didn't mind it much but lately i've been feeling so annoyed at it... It's a fine name and I liked it even but not anymore. I guess that's normal? I kind of hate it when certain people use it. And i like these people, a lot. But then theres my dad... He calls me by this name with such affection and I don't feel uncorfotable at all. Every time he calls me I think of that. Should I really change my name at all? I don't wanna hear that hesitation my mom has when she calls me a he. I still like it when my dad calls me by my birthname. Should I change names and have just him call me by that? Should I give up on Heron? Maybe I shouldn't even be worrying about that. I only figured that I was trans a few months ago... it hasn't even been a year. People take a lot of time to figure out that. But I don't wanna wait.

I know I'm trans, but am I in the way I thought I was? I usually have a first thought regarding a thing but then I dismiss it. And all the time I end up coming to that same first conclusion. When I first started questioning I went with lots of "complex" nonbinary genders, what if I was right? Maybe I'm more genderfucked than I first thought.

But I guess I'm afraid too. I'm afraid of labelling myself and exploring because people won't get it. And I know I shouldn't be tinking about anyone but ME when it comes to that but I can't... I'm not exactly out in school. Some of my friends know I have something going on and i "look" kinda queer but I just left things with a "yea im a little bit gay maybe" and I can't help but think that if I label myself with a weird gender nobody will get it and ill just feel even more misunderstood.

I know I'm masc. But how much?

Where does my disphoria comes from? Where does my euphoria comes from? I wish I had the answers and why is it so hard to choose a name

Perhaps I should go with something longer. I also kinda like "international" names. Maybe something with 'a'? To match my birthname. I still like it. Even tho I hate it.

Avalon? Idk what kind of name is this but it sounds great. Amy? Amelie? Is it fine by me if I go by a gendered name? Why is it so hard?

I wish I knew more people like me. Personally. I just feel so lonely. I like to be alone a lot of the time but sometimes I just feel like im never with anyone that gets it. Sometimes I feel like im kind of a bad friend because--along other reasons (im terrible at comforting people or helping when theyre upset...)--sometimes i don't really wanna hang out with them because we barely share any interests. I have this one friend i love to hang out wit because we share the same passions and can do nothing or anythimg together but with my other friends-i like them sm but we don't really connect. They keep saying im gifted or somethinf cuz i can draw, they never shut up about how im oh-so great with art and i do a doodle and theyre like "OH wow what a masterpiece" and im doing an illustration for the sake of it, to feel good for making art, to make my world a little prettier with the colors i chose, decorating my homework or whatever and they all "woah you didn't have to humiliate us" every time! Its annoying! I hate it! We don't share anything, they like doing things that are not completely my thing-i mostly do them for the sake of hanging out with them because i always have such a great time-they have lifes completely different from mine and available at different times. Do you know that "you didn't really have a childhood if you didn't do x or y" meme? I HATE it. Cuz i didn't do x or y. It makes me feel so dismissed. So different. And most of my friends DID do x and y so i don't share that with them. I'm just so tired of being different all the time. I wish I was surrounded by more people like me. Maybe this will sound really gen z but idk what i'd do without social media. I'd prob feel even worse.

And my friends have struggles so different from mine. They don't have nice homes. They had such a troubled childhood. They had different joys too. They had sleepovers, childhood friends they grew up close to and still are close friends to this day and are so comfortable around each other and always went to the same school. I didn't really have this kind of friend because my mom didn't know in what school to put me at the time so i never stayed in one school for more than one year. My most was 2. And they're all cishet. They're all allo-i mean, exept from one. And i am so afraid for her. She goes around using she/her, once she told she'd like to go by he/him, we talked about gender sometimes and we saw that she liked the bigender label but her family is super religious and her therapist is also from her church and does "spiritual healing as well as mental" and she said she was over being bi because christians shouldn' be bi and--anyways i... and i don't know how to help my friends and they have so many problems and they don't know how to help me and i don't really talk about my problems with them and i don't know if i trust then enough to... share it all and i just wish i had more queer friends and people who understood me because i always feel so unseen ;( and lonely. And miserable.

And my mom-i just, and my dad, they are divorced but they keep bringing each other up and long story short theyre driving ne crazy they don't like each other but they can never get along and they keep dragging me and my siblings to their long ENDLESS conversations about the other one and im SO DONE I JUST WISH THEY COULD IGNORE EACH OTHER AND COLABORATE

And were traveling-my siblings me and my mom and everytime we do she always plans out everything but she doesnt really gives us freedom to have free chill time when we're there because everything is just so tightly scheduled planned and thats something really minor but i really need free chill MY tine EVERY DAY to recharge, even if it is from fun, to write, draw, read, do whatever i want-and me and my mom have ideas of fun so different and UGH

And she keeps calling me he and she is technically being supportive and avoiding misgendering me but WHY DO I FEEL SO UNCONFORTABLE?? And i shouldn't be mad at her because she is technically doing the right thing but :( i need to figure things out for myelf, find a support group because I REALLY need to surround with my kind and then tell her how it turns out for me.

I just-it's so hard being fourteen, when will this stop?

[midwestprincesss]

never say sorry -sub!art donaldson x fem!reader smut

notes- this was literally supposed to be super short but i got carried away cause i am a whore (and proud of it)

cw- art is a little insecure:( , mentions of him having sex with tashi before (NO TASHI SLANDER I LOVE MY GIRL BUT IT'S FOR THE PLOT😭) , he cums prematurely (like...really..) art's a whiny little slut, art keeps calling reader love ( i got a thing for that pet name sorry y'all) , reader calls art 'artie' once cus it's cute&idc.

thinking about art constantly apologizing while having sex :( like ur unzipping his pants and he's already bucking his hips up into your hand, and then immediately muttering "sorry":(( my babyyy

so at first you think that okay, whatever, it's just something that slips out

but then he does it SO many times that you're actually starting to be concerned

like, you're giving him head and he moans a little too loudly- he's apologizing again. while kissing, you pull back for air and he still follows you, mouth half-open, wanting more - but then he realizes and he apologizes again.

but one time he really caught you off guard-

it had been a long day for him, spending almost all day training for his upcoming match. he barely had any time to rest, so he comes back to his dorm, taking off his shirt and pants, getting into bed with you only with his baby-blue boxer briefs on.

he kisses you. he's so fucking tired, but he still kisses you. 'cause he needs you, especially after the day he just had. you could feel his hard cock, practically begging you to take his boxers off.

"please love, wanna see you" he says while tugging at your top, watery eyes glistening with tears waiting to be spilled.

you take it off and unclasp your bra, little whimpers leaving his lips at the sight of you over him, with your tits out. you would love to take your time with him, really. to hear him beg and plead for you. but he's so eager, and so polite about it too- you just can't do that to him right now. so when you take off his boxers, his cock immediately jumps up, slapping his lower abdomen, right over his strawberry-blond happy trail.

"aww baby, look at you. you're so pretty aren't you?" you smile down at him, admiring how his legs shake slightly at every word you say. "hmm? aren't you?" you repeat. "mmghn- yeah, i- uhh i am" he says, eyes almost rolling back from the lack of touch. "you're what? say it." he sighs. you do this a lot. 'self love is important' you usually tell him- but not now. not when his dick is out, aching and leaking and begging to be touched. but just for the sake of it- just because he wants to please you, he says it. "i'm pretty"

"good boy," you coo, finally bringing a finger down to his cock, only to circle his pink, wet tip. and with that, he loses it. his mind goes blank, and he can't help it- all the waiting, the anticipating made him lose control of his body. he really didn't want to cum, he wanted to be good for you, but you were just so hot, he couldn't hold back. so immediately after his white, thick and warm liquid lands partially on his stomach and a bit on your hand, he starts babbling out apologies.

"i'm sorry, i'm so sorry love, please don't be mad, please- i'll clean up after myself- oh my god i'm so sorry-" he was so obviously tired, he could barely make up the words, yet he still continued apologizing. until you cut him off.

"art, baby- you dont need to apologize to me! what's up with this" you ask, softly. "you know i love making you feel good. and it's even better when i get feedback like this" you giggle. his cheeks turn bright pink as he covers his face.

"but i literally came the second you touched me" he mumbles, shyly.

you kiss his shoulder, smiling. "and it was hot."

"i- I don't know how to explain it to you, love- i just don't want to disappoint you. tashi used to hate it when i did any of this, she hated hearing me, and stuff like that- sometimes it made me feel like i was an object to her or something, y-you know? she'd get mad at me, and uh- it wasn't great."

"oh." you could actually feel your heart breaking for the boy. he was so sweet, he never deserved any of that. "well i'm not tashi, and i definitely won't get mad at you for anything like that. i like hearing you, and believe it or not, this was really fucking hot. you're letting me know i'm making you feel good. what's wrong with that?"

"just don't wanna upset you." art shrugs.

"i promise you artie, you could never upset me." you peck his lips and he smiles. "now let's clean you up"

[weirdmageddon]

i love these tags this person is so right

actually, can you imagine if dave was raised by B1 roxy?

i wanna get into this actually

(ok i had to spend a few hours rewriting this because IT DIDNT FUCKING SAVE AFTER FIVE HOURS OF WRITING WHEN MY COMPUTER UPDATED WHILE I WAS AFK so it would mean a lot to show this post some appreciation. i LOVEEE hearing what other people have to say)

even though these things mom does are presented in an extravagant, kitsch, jokey way, her intentions always came from a place of sincerity. she is simply Funnie

but rose reads too far into it and assumes things that aren't there, that her mother is passive-aggressively feigning interest in rose's interests simply because the things she does are so extra. "why do all of this if not to mock me"

im telling you right now if dave lived in this household he wouldn't assume antagonism, he'd go,

don’t forget who LITERALLY patented tangible jpeg artifacts as their post-scratch adult self and scattered shitty scummed up statue of liberties all over the planet. theres no way some of that overboard artful shit wasnt post-ironic / circling back around to genuine funny sincerity

dave's natural state is funny sincerity like roxy. he's had the natural capacity for this type of humor from the start and this is the direction he goes towards when he grows out of his brother's shadow by the end of the comic. dave and roxy share an earnest “so bad its good” type of humor

(lots more under the cut; the length of this meta analysis just got unwieldly with all the pictures and whatnot)

despite the alcoholism, roxy is a supportive mother. she's not the ideal guardian but hells of a lot more supportive of her kid than bro is. if she knew dave's interests she would totally indulge in them with some over the top silly goofy haha shit as a genuine gesture simply because she loves him

rose isn't too keen on it though. but she is more similar to dirk in her natural state of thinking of overthinking shit and assuming the worst, like the tags said

and yes dave got the sweet cuddly yet sometimes backhanded ouppy gene from roxy, probably even moreso lol

roxy's even said rose "sounds like girl dirk"

side tangent here, but this is something i wanna talk about.

i dont think bro should ever be in custody of children ever but if theres anyone who would be up to the task it's rose probably. i know she'd be able to keep up with him. not only does she have a defined personality (dave is more malleable and absorbs his environment like a sponge), if anyone can pick apart B1 dirk's batshit brain and probably be right on the money it's her. lil cal has been pumping patriarchal nonsense into bro's head and rose would be able to bring the fucking facts to the table without losing her own and being a living example of a badass little girl. i also don't think bro would try to force masculine roles onto rose like he did with dave, seeing as she is a girl, so she would actually have more of a leg up and get some passes that dave was never afforded. and rose wouldn't stand idly and accept any bullshit; she is no doormat. and i think this would earn bro's respect

but anyway, from this, couldn't we conclude roxy "sounds like girl dave"?

yeah okay. we havent even gotten into their penchant for funny typos or misspeaks, deliberate or otherwise

so, dave's environment

the sentiment "god you hope you can be as good as your bro at this some day" might have been genuine at the time when he idolized bro but of course he's not able to express that in any sort of sincere fashion because he's in dirk's fucking household. and this level 10 irony shit isnt doing dave any favors

his role models were the Internet and a vague idea of what Bro was like. So he built up his facade based on irony–not the literary definition of irony, as Rose might be quick to point out, but a popular concept of irony based on the idea that things that didn’t make sense actually made sense in some roundabout way. As a master of irony, Dave probably reasoned, he could see in a way other people couldn’t why a world that was scary and didn’t make sense really did make sense, and could therefore convince those people that he was superior to them. And he would wield his knowledge to maintain the appearance of superiority by calling everything ironic and pretending he didn’t care about things that didn’t make sense, and he would use walls of vaguely rhyming words to keep everyone at arm’s length so they wouldn’t discover his insecurities (source)

roxy's style is the embodiment of post-irony. being raised by mom lalonde would be like being raised by joel vinesauce ok

what can i say ….. (getting meta about this actually, hussie got these jpeg wizard wallpapers from a spyware website. link takes some time to load because internet archive)

rose is quick to read post-irony as actually being a joke/insincere, which in bro's case would be true. but i believe dave's natural instinct, outside of the influence of bro, is to read post-irony as genuine, which is exactly how mom serves it. we see this as early as act 3 from him; he understands her motives better than rose does herself:

and in act 6 intermission 2 i think it's pretty clear

but the thing is, it's always genuine from her. dave wouldn't have to second guess it because he's not one to naturally second guess someone's sincerity; that was learned due to his bro being virtually unassailable

there two types of ironies at play here:

seems like a joke, is actually genuine (roxy)

doesnt seem like a joke, is actually a joke (dirk)

you can make the argument that the second is is more psychologically destructive because it makes you question the reality of what is genuine sentiment and what isn't. dave never knew what was genuine and what was irony so he just sort of existed in this sincerity-ironic limbo and always did the opposite of what he genuinely felt on principle even if it always did originate from a genuine place.

"it just a joke bro i was just being ironic i dont actually x" is so much more trust-breaking and psychologically damaging than "wait are you being serious" / "i am being so fucking fr rn davy gravy" / "ok thats actually pretty fucking awesome. giant ass wizard statue" / "RIGHT"

how much about dave would change do you think? his character arc would be completely different for one thing, i think he'd have it good aside from mom's alcohol issues. he'd be left with the sweet and funny parts of him that we see at the end of the comic. the fake coolguy stuff is out, but this remains. this is dave in his element and we see it as early as act 1

he'd probably have no shades growing up in the lalonde residence* either cause those were given to him by bro straight out of the crater as an extension of his own cool image. and john gave dave ben stiller’s aviators for his 13th birthday to replace them so he could “spread his wings”

dave said he was wearing them for the ironies but i kind of doubt it. maybe post-irony but there was some reacharound to it being genuine because dave never put those pointy anime shades on his face again.

*though... it’s kind of hard to imagine him without his shades at all? B2 dave still got stiller’s shades from stiller himself so maybe getting them is a universal constant. i can imagine mom getting him them as a birthday gift cause shes pretty wealthy and probably could buy it out in an auction. but also itd be cool if john still gave him it as a gift

dave is actually a lot more genuine and easy to read than he lets on even when grappling with his upbringing with B1 dirk (again, see this post). this can be seen all throughout he comic but a good example is the evolution of thoughts about his interest in the preserved dead things in his room:

if B1 roxy was dave's guardian he probably WOULD have pursued paleontology because she wouldve indulged him in it and probably find it cool and worthwhile to pursue, instead of allowing dave to flounder under ironic detachment, being poisoned by irony to the point of gaslighting himself into believing he doesnt actually believe he thinks this shit is cool. even if it was indulged in this such a way; a superficially kitsch and ironic appearing presentation, it comes from a genuine place and inspires genuine interest. just read the comments.

basically, i think if B1 roxy raised dave, their relationship would have a surface level appearance of being bizarre or over-the-top but they’d have an unsaid mutual understanding that it’s completely in earnest and just build on each other's funny and absurd gestures of affection. rather than seeing it as one-upping each other, it'd more like collaboration of some silly bullshit that you take a step back and look at full and just say, "fucking incredible"

speaking of paleontology, mom had the proto-ectobiology lab. maybe they'd be able to use the equipment to appearify paradox ghost imprints of the dead shit to create paradox clones of things from the cambrian era??? sounds like a fun mother son bonding activity. and theyd actually put the sciencey shit in the household to use

oh god i know exactly the kinds of music shed listen too also growing up as a teen in the 80s. she on that (post)-punk/art rock/new wave/new romantic mtv stuff. XTC shit fr. this is a B-52S HOUSEHOLD. maybe the associates for the campy melodramatic flair. so he gets to keep the record on his shirt cause he is an enjoyer of the shit in her vinyl collection. dave would still gravitate towards musical expression and music itself but of more variety outside of just rap, with an 80s-90s, even 70s flavor due to mom’s influence. see this for perhaps a glimpse. ​she probably visited new york city a lot for business trips and because the music scene was cool as hell around that time, imports came straight from jfk airport, she probably got in on that a bit and have remnants in the form of vinyls and cassettes. in this way she could be distributing void to dave (influencing him with forgotten / presently irrelevant music). now he can REALLY rave about bands none of his friends have heard of. “hey davy grvay watcha listenin to” (he holds up vinyl cover) “omg snakefinger”

btw dave lalonde would look like this to me

[tastesousweet]

⭒ the girl with the tattoo (iii) - pt 1 pt 2

matt sturniolo x fem!oc / reader

summary : no one frustrates and confuses y/n more than matt

warnings : smoking weed, alcohol/drinking (i headcannon everyone 21+!), tension, sexually suggestive

mickey speaks : THIS IS LONG AS SHIT!!!! ngl im not obsessed w this part but u guys r the sweetest thank u for loving this story so far and for ur patience. part 4 definitely won't have as long of a wait.

THIS IS PART THREE GO READ THE FIRST TWO PARTS NEOWW

MATT hates hosting parties.

now that he and his brothers have hosted three of these "get together"s to promote the warehouse, he’s realized just how much attendees dont give a shit about respecting the space they're in. he found it to be a cool concept for sure: give out free tiny tats along with food and drinks for more exposure and networking. nick came up with it and it sounded perfectly easy way to build their brand and get to know people in LA.

except the first one was a complete mess, with chris constantly promoting the party (he mentioned it to almost everyone he talked to, encouraging them to bring friends along), frequent instagram posts dedicated to the event, and natural word of mouth the warehouse was suddenly overcrowded and trashed within the first hour of being open. matt barely got through that night without losing his temper or calling the cops to shut down his own party.

that’s not to say matt hates attending parties as severely as he hates to have his own. he’s more than willing to go out when he has a set time to leave and good enough company. he’s trained his anxiety to behave within those spaces so that he's not ruining his or anyone else's time. now it seems his anxiety only spikes when it comes to (what feels like) hundreds of people surrounding him in his space with no intentions of leaving until well into the morning. at that point he’d prefer to be at home, completely alone.

just as he does now that nick has dragged him out to a nearby liquor store to buy “goodies” for the event later today.

matt’s face carries his typical dry expression as nick stands next to him, hands resting on his hips, eyeing the various vodka bottles.

“nick, it’s alcohol not the fucking newspaper,” matt grumbles.

“i know that! i just don’t wanna choose the wrong one.” he defends.

“if they don’t like something i think we have more than enough to choose from at this point,” matt sarcastically nudges his arms that hold onto a wide selection of alcohol that nick has impetuously given him with quips of ‘okay, hold this one.’

“matt, i wouldn’t have brought you if i knew you’d be such a buzzkill, jesus.” nicks tsks.

“alright, don't say that like i was begging to come here, nick. i had no choice and-"

nick cuts him off swiftly, noticing a few girls have joined them in the aisle, “matt, move." nick guides him backwards with his hand, "you’re like, in the way.”

matt turns his head to see what exactly he was blocking, before turning back to nick and scowling, “‘m literally not in the way at all.”

“they might need to see all the options,” nick shrugs, going back to narrowing his options down while matt stands in slight annoyance, zoning out.

until he overhears the two girls call, “yeah it’s over here, y/n! come!”

and matt can’t help but turn and look (at an embarrassingly quick pace that he’d blame on his brain's pristine sound recognition and not that he wanted to see you, necessarily).

and sure enough your frame comes into view (clad in a sweatshirt and small pair of shorts), confirming that he did not mishear and you unfortunately were in fact the y/n called for. not wanting to deal with small talk, he immediately turns to nick, “the second one is best, nick. alright, let’s go.”

nick looks over to him, throwing his hands up loosely, “ohh, now you wanna be helpful whe-" he closes his mouth when he sees you over matt's shoulder, "did you know y/n's here?” his eyebrows draw together and he swiftly grabs a tall bottle of Absolut and places it in matt’s arms before walking around him (ignoring his hand’s poor attempt to hold nick back).

you’re too busy discussing which vodka tastes best with a few of your friends to notice nick walking up to you guys. you only look over once you hear a snap followed by a hushed “matt!”

you host a tender smile when you recognize the two tattooed boys, “nick? what are you doing here?” you glance from nick to matt who seems to be holding a full bar's worth of liquor while nick holds nothing but a tote bag and sunglasses he enjoys fidgeting with.

“y/n, i have a party i’m hosting tonight why would i not be here? now the real question is why are you here at 11:30 AM?” he jokes, squinting his eyes at you.

“same reason as you,” you shrug then realize you haven’t introduced your friends properly. “oh! and these are my friends; i texted you about bringing along, remi, erin, and andrea.” they each wave slightly as you gesture to them.

after an exchange of greetings and smiles (though you could tell matt’s was so phoney), nick backtracks, “okay but actually why are you here?”

“did you think i was joking? i’m getting drinks for your party!”

“i mean this in the kindest way possible: why?”

“i wasn’t gonna show up empty handed! it’s common courtesy to bring you guys something whether or not you ask.” you insist and matt fights the urge to roll his eyes.

he knows you have no mal-intent but god damn do you make yourself look so fucking pretentious.

“yeah, we’re trying to figure out what would be the best kind to bring right now,” erin chimes in.

nick immediately agrees, “oh my god, tell me about it. i was just struggling with that too!” and he turns to matt to validate, see! it’s not stupid to care about possibly buying the wrong thing!

matt just rolls his lips into his mouth, trying to give anyone a fucking clue that the conversation should be wrapping up by now.

“we’ll probably just end up getting pink whitney,” andrea reaches for the bottle on a nearby shelf.

matt can feel your eyes on him but he chooses to keep looking down at nick's ugg boots as if they’re the most interesting thing he’s seen.

you shift your eyes back to nick who’s still talking to andrea before you begin to speak, “well, i’m sure you guys are busy, you know, party planning.”

suprisingly, matt speaks up to agree with you, "yeah, you’re right actually. we are pretty busy."

nick cuts in with a shake of his head, “well, we’re actually not doing much before the party starts, honestly. we’ll probably just drop this off at the warehouse and set up a little, then go home, right matt?” nick shrugs to his brother who's eyes only widen with a look of question, “oh that's so true, matt!" he turns back to the girls with a smirk, "if you guys want you should come hang out with us now!”

matt wishes he currently had a free hand so that he could slap it over nicks mouth and drag him away before he sells his own kidney next.

"oh that's okay, we still have some stuff at home to do before we even think to get ready, but we'll be there tonight," you smile and look over to the girls who each agree.

"okay, we'll see you around then." matt tilts his head to the side encouraging nick to follow as he walks away.

"you have my insta so just dm me if you need anything. okay, bye! don’t forget swimsuits!" nick smiles and waves before rushing to catch up to matt who has already left the aisle.

౨ৎ

“i still can’t believe y/n was there, like what are the odds?!” nick giddily sighs and looks over to matt as the two walk out of the store.

“yeah, how fuckin’ weird," he murmurs, adjusting the brown bags in his hands to reach for the keys hanging from his belt loop. "small world, i guess.”

౨ৎ

“how the fuck are you so calm?” you ask in shock from behind the bat squishmellow you hold while sitting on nick’s baby pink couch, legs crossed.

“y/n, it’s like the teeniest, babiest tattoo ever,” andrea almost laughs as she takes another bite of a miniature rice krispy treat.

this “get together” at the warehouse has been a hit as far as you can tell. when you and your friends arrived it was already rowdy with people everywhere, music pounding, and bottles of alcohol scattered on the counters of a kitchenette (where you placed your own bottle of pink whitney, tied with a dainty white ribbon). you all found nick early on dancing in a crowd of people. he gave out hugs and easily convinced andrea and remi to let him tattoo them. after looking over the flash sheet nick made specifically for tonight, the girls decided to get matching cherry tattoos.

nick’s work area was so soft. he had bright hues of berry hugging his walls in the form of posters and paintings and faint creamsicle colored pillows to keep his couch company. when you all first walked in he explained how much he enjoys when clients bring in a friend so he had to make sure they had a comfy place to sit. you found nick so endearing in that since, he’s very caring and thoughtful despite his attitude at times (a far more understandable attitude than matt’s).

“it’s soo small,” nick adds, “i still think you two should get one,” he smirks looking over to you and erin huddled on the couch.

“hell no, i think i'm good for like another year," you shake your head and look over to erin while you gently run your fingers over your tattooed lower hip.

"yeah, absolutely not. i'm not even close to drunk enough to do that shit right now." she laughs.

౨ৎ

matt finds joint rolling to be the most satisfying part of smoking. the precision needed to perfectly fill, wrap, and burn makes him giddy in his own matt-kind-of-way.

after working on his last client (who wanted a somewhat abstract piece for the lowkey means of a “free tiny tats event”) and successfully sneaking through the crowd to grab a snack then sneaking back into his work area, he wanted nothing more than to get high alone.

he begins to gather his spare weed, grinder, and rolling papers from a spot tucked away in a drawer. he stops by his desk to turn his speaker back on, playing hushed kendrick lamar thorughout the space.

he taps his fingers along to the beat before sitting in a chair and displaying the items in front of him. he begins to grind the weed while humming, only to be interrupted fairly quickly.

"matttt!" chris peeks his grinning face through the curtain before taking it upon himself to walk in, "what are you doin' all alone in here?" matt pauses his movements with a sigh.

"no way you were rolling up and not planning to share? what the fuck?" chris pries in jest, rolling a chair over to sit in front of matt.

"dude, 'm so over this fuckin' party. i was planning to just smoke this and go nap on nick's couch or something." matt explains as he carefully lays the weed in the paper.

"you were barely even out there! got all your clients to text you whenever they got here." chris mumbles a scoff. "that is not the fuckin' point of this by the way, supposed to be meeting new people." chris rolls his eyes leaning himself so far into the chair that his back has practically met the seat.

"at least i'm doing something, you've only given like a tat or two all night," matt mumbles, slowly filling the white paper with weed.

because chris knows he's right he deflects the conversation to the reason he even came searching for matt in the first place. he clears his throat, playing with his fingers, "nick wants to take the girls up to the hot tub."

"thought we weren't allowing randoms up there anymore?" matt smirks at the memory of nick just hours before lecturing the both of them on what ground rules needed to be set so people don't demolish their shop for the fourth time now.

"obviously if they're with nick they're not just randoms." chris shakes his head, "pretty sure it's y/n and some friends she brought along. you remember that girl, right? she was-"

matt stops sealing the blunt to respond, "uh huh, i remember her."

chris lets out a breath, causing matt to finally look up and make eye contact with his brother (after spending their entire conversation too focused on rolling) in surprise at his pause in speaking.

"yeah, she's cool." chris yawns.

"i guess." matt says while finishing off the joint.

matt then lifts his hand up to give chris a view of his rolled joint. "stellar." chris smiles and matt hands it him, "swear you have a gift for this shit or somethin'." chris holds it in different angles near his face.

matt just shrugs and reaches for the tiny red lighter in his back pocket, "light that bitch up," he encourages chris.

"wait, no, let's save it for hot-tubbing."

"no? let's not? i didn't roll it for anyone but myself, let alone a group of barbies."

"be nice, matt."

"give me it, chris," matt rolls his eyes and signals with his fingers for chris to hand it over. “also who says i’m joining you guys in there?”

chris hands the joint back over to matt who’s immediately putting it in his mouth and bringing it towards the lighter’s flame, “nick wants the both of us up there, he thinks it’ll be fun.”

matt’s words come out quieter now that he’s speaking with smoke held in his lungs, “is he shit faced?” matt exhales the smoke as he speaks, “you know he thinks anything is ‘fun’ when he’s drunk.”

he takes another hit while chris explains, “no he’s actually really fuckin’ coherent, hasn’t had anything compared to me.” he smirks knowingly.

“not too much of this for you then,” matt exhales and passes the blunt over to chris. “so who’s gonna be hosting this party if we’re all on the roof?” matt asks squinting at him while playing with the soft edge of his graphic tee shirt.

chris’ face hides behind the smoke he releases, “we have dontae and claire working tonight too, they know how to deal with shit. i’m not too worried.”

“cool, so nick has contradicted himself twice already tonight, what happened to ‘one of us three should always be keeping an eye out’?” matt questions.

chris shakes his head, handing matt the smoked down joint, “literally how am i supposed to know why that kid thinks the way he does?”

matt licks his lips with a smile at his brothers comment then goes to hit the blunt once more.

“but i do know you need trunks on asap, brother.” chris lifts himself up, feeling a little looser now that he’s quite faded, and begins to dig through matt’s backpack in the corner of the room.

“why the fuck are my trunks just casually in my bag?”

“i put ‘em in there knowing you wouldn’t listen when we told you to pack them.”

“because i’m never getting in the pool at a party, that sounds terrible.”

“you think everything sounds terrible,” chris rolls his eyes throwing the plain black swimming trunks at matt’s chest.

౨ৎ

“‘kay so the game is just called, “i dare you…” but we’re gonna play it like drink or dare,” chris explains before taking another sip of his pepsi (he’s attempting to ‘sober up’ before playing a drinking game). “assuming the crowd knows what drink or dare is..?” chris looks around to everyone to confirm. there’s quite a lot of people in the spacious hot tub: you and your friends, the triplets, asha, and two of the triplets’ friends nathan and cameron.

when everyone nods in understanding chris explains something about the order to follow and how to discard any used cards, but you only loosely pay attention. instead, your eyes keep an unfaltering stare on matt who sits across from you with the shadows of his face highlighted light blue from the water below and a warm amber from the outdoor lighting above.

he wears his hair messy and his signature silver chain that reflects in the water harshly. you find yourself focusing on his tattooed hands (large in proportion to the joint he’s just finished rolling), and his pink tongue that has slipped out a number of times to lick at the joint and secure its shape.

he’s so into his own task he hasn’t even acknowledged your presence really. somehow that bothers you and attracts you to him at the same time. his face is so neutral as well, it’s not easy to find matt without a resting bitch face and an foul mood to match.

you feel andrea’s hand guide up your back, carrying water in its trail. you still continue in your curious trance until she leans down to your ear, “don’t start drooling now.”

you immediately look up towards her (as she’s sat on the ledge of the hot tub, cautious of her new arm tattoo). she barks out a laugh and you try not to laugh as well, punching the side of her leg instead.

“what did i miss? what are we giggling aboutt?!” nick excitedly asks as he climbs into the hot tub and sits in the empty spot to the left of you. you turn and greet him with a smile and he immediately hands you one of the many beer bottles he holds, “here, take one, pass it down.”

“oh it was nothing, thank you.” you reply when handed the final bottle.

nick nods before swatting at chris who still stands in the middle of the hot tub, “kid, you can sit down now, i think we all got it.”

chris looks over to nick, “you go first then, nick. i’ll queue up a few songs.” he shifts a floaty that holds a set of cards in it towards nick before taking a seat next to erin (you can overhear him introducing himself even though your attention is on nick as he draws).

“who’s the bright one who chose a game with cards to be done in water?” nick jokes finally looking at the card.

“i’m sure you can guess,” asha laughs next to him.

you watch as nick’s face welcomes a large grin upon reading his dare. “okay…i’m reading this out loud, right?”

“i thought ‘we all got it’?” chris jokes and watches nick deadpan, “yes, nick just say it.”

“this one’s easy, ��i dare you to make one of the group members crack a smile in less than a minute.’” nick adjusts himself to face nathan, “nate look at me.”

“oh come on nick, nate laughs at everything when he’s drunk.” matt talks despite his lips closing over the joint he’s just about to light.

“i don’t!” nate says before looking over to cameron, who elbows his side, making nathan giggle and cover his face. “no! for real, try me nick.” he adjusts his expression to be serious but just as nick opens his mouth to speak nathan explodes in sudden laughter causing the rest of the group to laugh as well.

even matt laughs into his arm as he passes the joint to remi, next to him.

౨ৎ

as the group continued playing the dares leveled in dirty extremity. asha nibbled on cameron’s ear like a hamster, nathan texted a friend asking to have a threesome, cameron licked sugar off of andrea (who very much enjoyed it), until finally it was matt’s turn.

matt’s been far more sociable and charismatic this entire time spent in the hot tub than you’ve seen him before. but you can’t tell if it’s the weed and alcohol or even just the fact that he’s surrounded by a group with some of his close friends that’s bringing this out of him. you’re shocked the only nagging he’s done was to break up a small argument between his brothers and of course make fun of you, mouthing “you scared?” after you denied hitting the joint for a second time. you mouthed back “no” and rolled your eyes at him but his playful smirk never left.

matt hangs his head and stifles laughter after reading his card, “i dare you to bend over backwards and let the rest of the group spank you, chose who’s best.”

“oh my god!” chris’ laugh is higher in pitch now that he’s extremely high.

“guys i really don’t wanna,” he sighs.

“matt, don’t be lame! you’ll be the first one who’s drinking,” asha encourages.

“fuck this game,” he mumbles under his breath before adjusting himself to lean over the hot tub, everyone laughing at the sight. it was fun to see matt so unserious for once.

after taking turns to hit matt’s ass, he decided the fourth person’s was the best, per his dare’s request, and nathan celebrates with a throw of his hands in the air.

remi then performs a trust fall with the person she trusts least in the group, cameron (who she told there was no hard feelings since they’d only met today), making it now erin’s turn.

she blushes at her card before reading aloud, “i dare you to give a lap dance to the hottest person in the group.” she bites her lip in embarrassment but nonetheless leans over to chris and requests a song in his ear.

chris smiles and taps his phone as erin adjust herself to standing. “this is gonna be hard to do in water,” she messes with her hair.

“you’ll be fine!” you encourage with a smile.

“alright, you ready?” chris looks up to erin and she nods in response.

body party by ciara begins to play sensually through the nearby speaker gaining a few “oouuu”s from the group.

what you don’t expect is for erin to lean herself in front of matt. and matt definitely doesn’t expect this either, but he’s not too mad about it.

“oh shitttt,” cameron grins, he and nathan occupied in their own awkward-laughing fit while watching with wide eyes.

she moves slowly and hovers matt in a straddling position to “grind” on him. you take a heavy sip of your drink while watching in an attempt to hide your odd feeling about this. it was like watching a car crash. you watch as matt’s eyes gaze up and down her body, not daring to touch her but unashamed of his attraction.

asha laughs and whistles in support when erin turns around to give matt a view of her ass. nick dramatically ducks behind you yelling, “i actually can’t watch this! oh my god!”

you laugh and to mess with him whisper, “don't worry, it’s over now.”

nick looks back and immediately goes back to covering his eyes and laughing with you, “you bitch!”

you look back to matt who tilts his head back with wide eyes and lips puffing out in humor. and finally, after it feels like the two have dry humped for hours, erin stands back up and bows. matt claps with a wide smile, everyone else joining in.

when erin sits down you look up to andrea who just stifles a laugh with a sip of her drink. “well how the fuck am i gonna top that shit?!” chris exclaims while grabbing a card.

“real question is how the fuck will matt recover from that?” you joke causing matt to look over to you.

“oh don’t worry about me, sweetheart. i’m sure i’ll recover fine. chris,” he lifts his head gesturing for chris to begin his dare.

your tongue travels along your teeth to stop yourself from ruining a good time with your confusing feelings.

“i dare you to give a hickey to the person to your left.” chris bites his bottom lip and blinks slowly before looking over to andrea who just smiles and playfully flutters her fingers at him.

“you’re cool with this right, ‘m not tryna make you uncomfortable or any-”

“chris, shh.” andrea says.

“'kay, where do you want it?” he smiles.

“let’s make this fun,” she adjusts her bikini top and presses her manicured fingers along her right breast, “right here.”

nick is extra dramatic when it comes to watching chris suck harshly on his new friend’s tit, “okay, why the fuck did we choose this game?!” he turns away.

when chris is finished andrea shows it off to the group as proof and pushes chris’ cocky face away with a laugh, “nice job, stupid.”

afterwards, andrea gets a dare to expose her search history with the group, which she does without a problem.

it’s finally your turn to pick a card. “i dare you to lick whipped cream off a person of your choice.”

“oouu who’s it gonna beee?” nick nudges into your side.

you look around the hot tub, wanting to pick someone unpredictable, “ashaaa, you haven’t had much to do yet?” you look over to the girl who now has wide eyes and a growing smile.

“okay, yeah let’s do it,” she shrugs. “nate could you go get whipped cream, please?”

once nathan’s back you move closer to asha and decide to put whipped cream on her shoulder. “it tickles,” she giggles when you lick the entire dollop off of her easily.

you both laugh and you lick your lips as you head back to your seat.

౨ৎ

after another round it’s finally matt’s turn again, he draws a card that reads: give a kiss anywhere, on the person you’d “take home to mama.”

matt slowly stands and rubs his chin with a devious smile. “ummm,” he draws out, giving multiple looks at everyone before he walks over and hovers over you. you’re shocked by your body’s ease when his wet hand lifts to hold your face and his lips connect to yours. the kiss isn’t sloppy, but rather needy. you were just getting used to the taste of the bitter beer he’d just been drinking when he pulls away and steps back, unfazed.

you blink and wipe your fingers around your lips as matt wipes a hand over his eyes while laughing to himself.

“mom, would love y/n,” chris adds, calling back to the initial dare that led to that stomach turning kiss.

“'course she would, she’s a fucking saint.” matt sighs.

you squint your eyes and tilt your head, “i wouldn’t say that…”

“yeah, shit, my bad.” matt spreads his legs across from you, “forgot you have that little tattoo. i’m sure you’re not such a good girl anymore.”

you’re fucking annoyed now. you hate that he thinks you're inferior to him in any way. “hey where’s that ashtray, chris?” you ask, adjusting your seated position.

“uh, here,” he reaches behind him and places it on the same floaty as the cards, along with the lighter.

“you guys are cool to keep going,” you say and take the abandoned joint in your hand to relight it.

matt watches in spiteful anticipation.

“take it slow, and hold it” andrea explains to you in a whisper, knowing you’d never smoked in your life.

erin begins her dare to prank call a customer service line and dirty talk them when you take a hit of the joint.

matt eyes never leave your bothered figure as you inhale and cause the tip of the joint to light a bright red. he can tell you’re trying to prove a point which makes it more amusing to him when your eyes begin to water after you shakily exhale and attempt to hold back a cough.

“don’t hurt yourself.” matt quips under his breath.

౨ৎ

the group hadn’t realized just how long they’d been in the hot tub nor how drunk they all are until they struggled to get out and back to the main floor of the warehouse.

though, lots of giggles and piggyback rides helped them all stay together as they traveled back, cold and still damp. all partygoers were gone at that point, leaving the warehouse empty yet a mess.

nick (being the self-proclaimed good host he is) led the mass of drunk people to the bathrooms and brought extra graphic tee shirts and sweatpants to change into from the many boxes of merch sold in their tattoo shop. the boys had insisted that everyone just sleep at the warehouse due to their abundance of couches and chairs and their fear in sending anyone home in an uber at close to 3 AM.

matt is throwing pieces of trash in a large black trash bag when you step out from the bathroom near the colorful kitchenette of the warehouse.

he glances up when you approach slowly, feeling yourself sobered up quite a bit after peeing and washing your face.

“hey,” his voice is rough in tiredness.

“hey, do you have any water over here?” you ask politely, your lips taste salty when you lick over them.

“in the fridge,” he replies, crumbling wrappers and adding to his bag.

you notice how red and puffy his eyes truly are now that you’re this close to him and in better lighting. you walk past him to get to the fridge, almost completely empty after a long-lasting and full party.

“are you sleeping any time soon?” you ask, opening the water bottle.

“i don’t know.”

“i can always help you clean this if you need me to.”

“‘m good.” he analyzes a glass bottle to decide whether it’s worth keeping.

you nod your head, “cool.”

“you should probably sleep.” matt suggests looking over to you.

“i think i can decide that for myself, thanks.” you drink more of your water.

“you’re right i can only suggest. i’m suggesting you to go to sleep. and if you do stay up i'd suggest you don’t spend your time talking to me.”

you finish off your water and move closer to matt, placing it in the bag. “you truly know how to piss a girl off.”

“it’s my specialty.” he whispers and looks over your face now that you’re so close.

he’s so fucking hot that it genuinely upsets you at this point. you just back up and turn to go find the couch andrea’s decided to sleep on.

“goodnight, sunshine.” he calls after you, going back to his cleaning.

you're not too far away when you hear the bathroom door open and once again matt is greeting someone, only when you look over your shoulder you see erin approaching and matt leaning on the island counter with a smile.

you turn the corner with irritation. and you find yourself in the unfortunate position of having a problematic crush on matt while wanting nothing to do with him at all.

꩜⋆ ˚｡⋆🎱˚

[luvrgreyy]

A PERFECTLY RUINED THING

boyfriend's brother!leon x f!reader

word count: 3.1k summary: leon's attempts to comfort you after a fight with his older brother. masterlist | ko-fi

18+ MDNI. infidelity, one mention of masturbation, age gap(leon is 21, reader is 25), non-con kissing, car sex, unprotected sex, p in v, fingering, oral(r!receiving), praise, soft dom leon.

a/n: not my best work, but alright. this was meant to be a short, self indulgent fic, i dont know how i ended up writing this much. anyway, here's something to keep you guys occupied while i work on a new series im writing :3

leon has always had a thing for you. ever since you started dating his brother a few years ago, he’d always found you attractive. he’s tried to get over you, date other girls, but that doesn’t really seem to work.

his brother was a moron, and he was sure you deserved better. not that leon considered himself any better. it’s wrong, it’s messed up in every possible way, which is why he could never tell his brother how he truly feels.

family is important, and leon wouldn't do anything to risk losing his brother's respect.

but being around you, watching you, it's all too much sometimes. he would often find himself fantasizing about you while jerking off to porn, imagining it was him instead of his brother making out with you, touching you, fucking you.

it used to bother him a lot, feeling like this for someone who was technically off-limits. but lately, with his brother spending lesser time around the house, leon had started to brush off those guilty feelings.

and he began to entertain the idea that maybe, just maybe, he could have you for himself one day. the fantasies were harmless, he told himself, as long as they remained just that — fantasies.

leon shakes his head and comes out of his thoughts with a start. he couldn't make out all the words, but he could tell you and his brother were fighting. nothing new there.

he knows he shouldn't care, that it's none of his business, but he can't help but wonder what his brother had said to make you so upset. was he flirting with some girl? did he forget your birthday again? had you finally broken up with him? he felt bad for being somewhat happy at the thought.

until he hears the door slam. he blinks and looks up, listening as the sound echoes through the house. well, so much for staying out of it.

he’s about to get up when he hears your footsteps, and soon you stomp into the living room, face flushed with anger.

"hey, what's wrong?" he asks softly, looking up at you from his place on the couch. you stopped pacing and turn to face him, eyes brimming with tears. "your stupid brothers what’s wrong,”

he can't help it, his jaw twitches at the mention of his brother, but he manages to keep a neutral look otherwise. “what did he do this time?" he asks quietly, standing up. you bite your lip and look away, struggling to find the words.

"i don't know," you finally reply. "he's just— he’s being difficult,” he wants to hug you, to comfort you, but he's hesitant to do so. you’ve just never been that close, so he just stands there awkwardly as you try to speak through the tears.

“i-i’ve tired talking to him, but he never listens. i don’t know what i did, but i know there's something wrong,”

“i’m sorry about him,” it's stupid, he knows his brother is terrible to you, but he couldn't stop myself from making a dig. “but you know you can talk to me, right?”

“i know,” you choke out a sob. “but— i just wanna go home, leon.”

it kills him to see you like this, especially since he knows it's his brother's fault. but he wants you to stay. he doesn't say it, but he hopes, silently, that you'll stay with him instead. “yeah, okay,” he agrees, forcing a smile. “i can do that, i can take you home.” he reaches out and gently wipes away your tears, thumb lingering on your cheek.

“thank you,” you sniff and nod, reaching up to brush his hand away. he lets it linger a moment longer, before reluctantly pulling back.

he knows he should tell you it will all work out, that his brother loves you and that things will be fine... but he can't. because then he'd be lying.

the ride to your house is quiet. he wants to say something, anything, but it seems wrong to talk about anything lighthearted.

when he pulls up to your house, he parks and turns to you. you're staring out the window, silent tears streaming down your cheeks.

"hey," he asks softly. "you okay?"

you look at him then, really look at him, and for a moment, he thinks he sees something in your eyes — a flicker of... something. he doesn't know what it is, and he doesn't bother trying to find out when you reach out for his hand.

he freezes. it's a small point of contact, one he's not ready for.

he tries not to tremble as you hold his hand, but you're so close to him and he can't make himself pull away, so he does the only thing he can think to do — pretend nothing is wrong and and just sit there, praying you don't notice how his breath catches in his throat. praying you can't feel how hard he is.

you just want comfort, he tells himself. don't be weird.

he looks down at your fingers, how small they looked, your soft skin, the way your nails dig lightly into his skin.

"leon?" your voice comes out a small squeak.

"yeah?"

he tries to say something else, but its no use. all he can think about is how close your hand is to his dick. how easy it would be to move it a few inches and have you cupping him. he doesn't do that, of course. that would be messed up. but the thought alone is making him rock hard.

god, he feels like a fucking pervert, crossing his legs to try and hide his boner. you look at him with those big, beautiful eyes, and he nearly melts. he wants nothing more than to kiss you right then and there. but he can't. can he?

"i— uh, thank you."

you withdraw your hand, and the relief he feels is short-lived, because he watches you reach out for the door. he doesn't want you to go. not yet, anyway. "wait," he says, and you pause.

before he can stop himself, his mouth is on yours. it's just a small, chaste kiss, but it's still a massive step. what the hell is wrong with him? you're his brother's girlfriend for fucks sake! but you don't pull away, and he can't bring himself to do the same.

for a moment, he thinks you kiss him back. just for a second. it's hard to tell, since it's so quick, but he could swear he feels your lips moving with his. he pulls back, breathless, eyes wide.

"i'm so sorry," he whispers, knowing it's not enough, but not knowing what else to say. so he just sits there, staring at you, trying not to panic.

he can't think straight. all he can focus on is your lips, how soft they were, the way they moved with his. it was a real kiss. a tentative one, yes, but real. his mind is spinning. what does this mean? does it even mean anything at all? or was it just a momentary lapse in judgment? he knows he shouldn't have done it. he should've let you go, let you walk out of his life for good. but looking at you now, he realizes he'd do it all over again, whatever the consequences are.

this makes him bold. reckless. and he moves in for another kiss, hand cupping your cheek. this time, there's no mistake — you pull him closer, your tongue darting out to lick his lower lip. he can taste you on his lips, like really taste you. it’s incredible.

one hand moves down your side, to rest on your hip. the other cradles your head, fingers threaded through your hair. he pours all his emotion into the kiss — the frustration, the longing, the love he's kept hidden for so long. you taste like toothpaste and happiness, and it's the best thing he's ever experienced.

this goes on for a long time. like, a really long time. long enough that he starts to feel guilty, like he's taking advantage of you or something. but you don't seem to mind. you kiss him back, enthusiastically, and he swallows the small noises you make in your throat.

the kiss finally breaks, and you're panting. he is too. your lips are swollen and glossy, hands on his chest, pushing him away, but only slightly.

he doesn't care anymore. he's past the point of return. "i want you," he whispers, trying to memorize the feel of you. "i want you so bad. please," he begs, the plea raw in his voice. "i'll make it good for you, i promise.”

“leon,” you breathe out his name again. “this.. this isn’t right,”

he knows you’re right. of course you are. but he can't help himself. his desire drowns out whatever sense and reasoning he may still have. you're his brother's girlfriend. it's wrong, it's messed up, it's... “it doesn't feel wrong," he argues softly, thumb brushing against your flushed cheek. "does it?" you don't answer, just shake your head.

next thing he knows, his hand is sliding up your thigh, pushing your skirt up with it. he feels a scrap of fabric and the smooth skin it's covering. he stops, hovering just at the edge of decency.

��tell me to stop,” his lips hover just above yours. “tell me to stop, and i will.”

he waits. and waits. and waits. but no words come. you're quiet, neither denying nor confirming, and that's enough for him to take it as a yes. his hand continues up, past your knee, brushing the edge of your panties. he can feel the heat emanating from you, how your body is screaming at him to continue. to keep going. to take what he wants.

and he does. one finger, then two, slip in to push your panties to the side, and he's rewarded with a small gasp.

he shifts his fingers higher, seeking out your clit. he finds it, and rubs gently. you buck, just a little, and he freezes.

"this okay?" he looks at your face, searching for any sign that he should stop.

a tiny nod, almost imperceptible. "yeah," your voice is breathy. "yeah, leon." you grab his wrist, stopping him from retreating. "don't stop." he doesn't.

he goes back to rubbing your clit, fingers moving in slow, deliberate circles. one finger slips down to test your entrance. he pushes it inside, just the tip, and you tense. he groans in triumph at the feel of your slick walls, taking it as a sign to pushes further, sinking his finger knuckle deep into your pussy. you mewl, and he nearly comes in his pants.

your hips start to move, trying to fuck his hand, and he's happy to oblige. he adds another finger, hand practically punching into your dripping cunt. you're so wet and tight, so perfect for him.

“get in the back," he hisses through his teeth. "wanna have a taste.”

he doesn’t give you time, roughly shoving you into the backseat, and plopping himself down in a position where you straddle his face while his hands push your thighs apart.

he kneels down, and trails a finger up your inner thigh, finding your panties damp with arousal. he hooks his fingers in the elastic and drags them down, letting your soaked cunt be exposed to the air. he buries his face in your pussy, fingers spreading you apart. "fuck, you smell good," he groans, before closing his lips around your clit and sucking, tongue darting out to lick your juices.

you let out a startled yelp at the suddenness of it all, but he doesn't care. he's too busy breathing in your scent, licking and sucking at your little pussy, fingers digging into your hips as he pushes his tongue as far as it will go. he eats you like you're the last morsel of food on earth, desperate and ravenous.

your juices flood his mouth as he sucks and licks, fucking you with his hand while his mouth eats your pussy. he growls in the back of his throat, loving how you taste. he pulls away for a second, just long enough to yank your panties the rest of the way off, before diving back in. he can hear you whimper and moan, the sounds music to his ears.

the car lurches, and his face is buried in your pussy. he looks up, surprised, as you suddenly buck against him. but he recovers quickly, one hand reaching out to grab your wrist and pull you back down to his mouth, the other hand keeping the first two fingers of his other hand knuckle-deep in your pussy, pumping them slowly.

"i got you," he mouths around your clit, and continues eating you with renewed vigor, as if trying to prove a point. his tongue is fast, slick, and decisive, and he knows it's coming.

"tell me when," he mumbles, eyes squeezed shut in ecstasy.

he feels it. the way you go slack, how your muscles tremble and contract. he's already sucking hard on your clit, lips vacuuming up your little bundle of nerves, trying to suck your orgasm straight into his mouth.

“imma cum, leon, i’m—“ you start, but the words die down in your throat.

your entire body bows back, throat making a sound like a scream that tappers out. he drinks it all in, every single drop of your release coating his lips, tongue, and it dribbles down to his chin.

he pulls back, sitting back on his heels, hands pushing your knees together to keep you from tipping over.

"c'mere," he coos. gently pushing you back onto the car seat, he slots himself between your legs. his cock strains against the zipper of his jeans, and with a curse, he undoes them, freeing his shaft.

he helps you get in position, hands shaking slightly as he lines himself up with your entrance. he's hard, veins bulging along the shaft, the tip leaking precum.

“can i?”

you nod. just once, and it's enough. his hips buck forward, slow and steady, feeling you stretch around him, the intrusion making you wince.

"sorry," he whispers, before pulling back slightly. "’ts okay," you hum in response.

your walls resist, then give, slowly swallowing up his length. but he doesn't stop until he's buried to the hilt, hips flush with yours "god, you're tight,” he looks down, watches himself disappear into you, and it's the hottest thing he's ever seen.

he takes his time, letting you adjust, letting yourself get used to the feeling of him inside you when he starts to move, it's a slow thrust, pulling back almost all the way, then pushing back in, creating a slow rhythm.

he's patient, letting the rhythm build, in and out, in and out, feeling your walls relax around him more and more with each thrust.

his hips rise up, his abs flexing as he pulls back, then lower, feeling you swallow him up again.

"feels so good," he admits, voice strained with the effort of holding back.

his hands land on your hips, fingers digging in, holding you in place as he fucks you, slow and deep, with a pace that's almost lazy.

“leon,” your voice is soft, almost dreamy. “leon,” you repeat his name like a prayer.

“i’m—”

“i know,” he huffs against your lips, feeling his balls drawing up.

your nails rake down his chest. “i’m gonna—“ “cum.” he groans, hips bucking harder, trying to draw it out. your pussy spasms, milking him for all he's worth, and he's powerless to stop it.

he's coming all over your insides. your walls suck him dry, and he slumps forward, forehead pressed against your shoulder, chest heaving.

your hand threads through his hair, holding his head still against your shoulder. he nuzzles into the touch, feeling your warmth, your softness. he's spent. emotionally and physically.

he pulls out slowly, cock slipping free, and a pearly rope of cum dribbles out. he grabs a napkin from the glovebox, and gently wipes your lips clean. he looks over at you, taking in your mussed hair, your flushed cheeks, your half-lidded eyes. you look relaxed. content.

"you alright?" he asks softly.

“mhm,”

he smiles, small and shy. like he didn’t just fuck your brains out. “good.”

he tucks himself back into his pants, zipping up. it takes a bit of effort to extricate himself from the wreckage of the backseat. he turns to you, and just looks. you straighten out your clothes, carefully smoothing down the fabric of your rumpled shirt. he watches as you adjust your skirt, his gaze soft yet intense.

“well, uh,” you pull back, eyes meeting, and you swallow hard. “i should probably go..”

“oh, yeah, of course," he pauses, then adds. “i’ll walk you to your door.”

you climb out of the car, and he follows. the cool night air feels strange on your skin, and it makes your skin shiver. he walks you to your front door, hands shoved deep in his pockets. the walk is silent, but not uncomfortable. you stop at your front door, and you turn to him.

“thank you,” you say softly. “for tonight.” he smiles. and you smile back. and for a second, he thinks of kissing you again. but he doesn't.

"night," he turns to leave, but pauses. "i hope this is the last time i see you.”

as you watch him go, your heart feels full. and weird. you can't stop smiling, even as you go inside and lock the door behind you. you walk to the bathroom and look at yourself in the mirror. your hair is a mess. your face is flushed.

i guess now you know who the better kennedy is.

[missdaytonawrites]

so it goes... • a. anderson

summary - dominance & dumbification HC's abby treats her partner like a dumb baby!

WC - 711

cw/tw - 18+ MDNI, total dumbification/brain breaking, dominant!abby, submissive!reader. a lil' smutty nearing the end. afab!reader, talk of strap-ons, talk of food and eating. abby is very low-key pervy in this i love.

A/N - as abbys favorite dummy, i felt like i had a duty to fufill with this one. oopsie daisies! dont have much to say except: dont ask about the phantom fic, or why i have seemed to find a home on the abby train. just *shoves this at you* take this! read this!

you did a number on me, but honestly, baby.. whos counting?

• she knew just how smart, hard-working and headstrong you were ever since you shook her hand the day you two met. it made her wanna help, wanna take it all away, she wanted to be your peace.

• abby knows that in order to get you to fully surrender, she's gonna have to work. so she did, it took a bit of conditioning but in no time you were more than willing to just accept her control.

• little things like: getting up before you so she's so she can wake you up. pulling your panties up for you, brushing and washing your hair for you, patting your back when you accomplish something, calling you “kid” (raaaaaahshshshdhshdirnfhfm)

• she has a bulletin board hung in her at-home office.. littered with coloring sheets, love notes, original works and more from you. she cherishes it all. and loves the reminders of how little you do bc she does it all for you

• she DEF puts your shoes on/ties your laces for you.

• constantly running your baths for you, making them nice, lighting candles etc. most likely isn’t going to get in with you, she wants to sit out and monitor so you don't get hurt. when you need to get the shampoo out of your hair? she gets closer to the edge of the tub, nestles her hand on the nape of your neck, and holds you while she lays you back into the water. so you dont drown ofc. bc ur TOTALLY gonna drown in the bath lmao

• cooks for you, and maybe even feeds you when she's feeling like it.

• puts you down for naps in the afternoon, you have a little sleeping nook in her office so she can still keep an eye on you.

• teaches you to kneel at her feet when she comes home from work!!!! she tells you to lay your head in her lap and let her read!!!!

• abby is 100% buying you branded clothing.. panties with her initials, shirts that say “abby’s girl.” she went as far as to buy you a collar with “property of: abigail anderson.” inscribed on the inside. if she chokes you hard enough while fucking you, the words make an indent on your skin.

• ✨ abby's strap is clear ✨ idc idc! argue wit ya mom!!!!

• abby was never really a religious girl.. but she swears up to god above that she can feel you squeezing her strap.

• refers to it as “her” cock, “her” dick ashqtfgegyshhhhhhhhh

• abby loves loves LOVES orgasm controoool!!! she picks up on the little tell-tale signs that you’re going to cum fairly quickly, and it isnt long after until shes asking if she can teach you how to cum on command.

• gets you so so fucking close, and makes you hold it. starting at a one minute delay, then three minutes, then five. before stopping what shes doing entirely, denying you of climax.

• once she finally decided you’ve had enough. she makes you count down from ten before you can come, she does this over and over. breaking your brain and pushing you into deeper submission

• ??? the first time you fall into subspace ??? oh my stars, abby ‘bout loses her goddamn mind! she can literally watch all thoughts leave your head, loves watching you go all stupid. she takes account of the shift in your face, the sudden increase of spasms in your legs, the broken moans. she just keeps fucking you back on her cock, telling you how pretty you are when you dont think <3!

• “my sweet little braindead baby, huh?”

• “y’probably don't even know what that means, hm?”

• “ah- yes baby, thats my stupid girl.”

• “mmmm.. say ‘bye, bye’ to your brain with me, little girl”

• and then literally stops fucking you so she can make you wave n’ say "bye, bye brain” with her.

• aftercare GOD !!!

• her favorite is to just let you relish in the floaty feeling of the after-glow.

• “took my cock so well, dummy. m’so proud.”

• she gets you a glass of water and an ibuprofen, because lets be real: you’re already sore.

• turns on a movie and tucks you both in, giving you kisses, scratching your back.

• falls asleep absolutely pussy-drunk and with her nose buried in your hair.

mmkay, byeeeee!

[scaredofbrits]

having the afton men as your bosses

william afton & micheal afton hcs

nsfw headcannons will be colored red.

william afton ✦

• he was a very serious man, to say the least. he didnt want any of his workers to see him act like a goof.

• "none of you will be prepared for the real world if you cannot behave correctly at your job."

• but then you came along. and every bit of respect he had for his reputation was shattered. not with other people, of course, but with you.

• instead of seeing william as your tough boss, you saw him as your literal reason to wake up everyday.

• and to him, you were his pretty little assistant. his good girl, even.

• sometimes, he'd give you extra work just to see you everyday.

• and other times, that work would lead to staying at the job extra late.

• once you would finish all that hard extra work, he'd reward you in various ways.

• "you did such a good job for me." he'd grin as he fingered you with all his power and speed.

• "my slutty little assistant fucking herself on my fingers.."

• his praise and degrading could drive anyone crazy for more.

• when you two would have sex during work hours, he'd tease you about noise the whole time.

• "shhhh, you don't want all your friends to know how cock thirsty you are.." and he'd cover your mouth.

• he made more than sure to fuck you so rough that your moans were extremely loud, and youd leave his office embarrassed.

• but what you didnt know was that the walls were soundproof. he just liked fucking around with you.

• nothing surprised him more than seeing your whore side for the first time. and oh did he love seeing it.

micheal afton ✦

• he was super sweet to all of his workers. bringing gifts, joking around, and being kind overall was his specialty.

• "how did you all sleep today?" he'd say over the intercom with genuine curiosity.

• once you had become his assistant, he could not resist you. a different side of him came along. a more needy one.

• he was always buying you gorgeous flowers every single day. and even though you were his assistant, he demanded nothing from you.

• and since he was an amazing conversation starter, you'd usually be found sitting on top of his desk talking to him.

• when your shift was over, he'd always say "time goes by so fast, doesnt it?" and that was his trick to make you stay.

• "a few more minutes, please? i'll do anything, gorgeous, please." was his other go to.

• he loved seeing you on top of his desk like you owned it. and he also loved seeing you mess around with his name plate on the desk. just fidgeting with it.

• and he wished youd fidget with him. just use him and treat him like your little fuck toy.

• one time, you wore a skirt to work. and of course that pervert kept sneaking glances at your revealed thighs and panties. those sights made his cock throb.

• and when he got horny? oh you were in for it. so much begging. "touch me please please please. look at how hard i am baby, please."

• "its okay if you dont wanna touch me, i'll touch myself and you can watch. tell me thats okay mommy. please."

• it was definitely hard to say no, especially with those puppy eyes he'd give. he acted like you getting rid of his boner was the best thing to ever happen to him.

• and when youd suck him off occasionally, he would absolutely lose it. he loved your mouth so much and he felt the need to repay you the same way.

• if you pleased him a certain way, he'd try his hardest to make it up to you the same way. suck him off? he'll eat you out. hand job? you get fingered.

• at the end of the day, all he wanted to do was be a good boy for his gorgeous girl. sometimes flowers didnt feel like enough to please you, so he had to try other ways.

[hel1nn]

LOVESICK!satoru x LOVESICKANDSWEET!reader pt2

pt.1 ‧₊˚ ⋅ 𓐐𓎩 ‧₊˚ ⋅

๛ ๋ ׅ ˖ ꕮ fluff,angst,happy ending,cursed words,crying,first love,first kiss, misunderstandings,Christmas,sukunas a bad guy,satoru gets hurt,satorus just a baby. ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅

a/n: english isn't my first language sorry if i made any mistakes:) and all the credits goes to the owner of these art i used here!

next day was going well,until satoru saw you giving sukuna notes again..the cracking feelings all hitting him like a slap in the face. What can he say? You weren't the type of person who'd shoo away someone who just wanted some notes from you. Satoru didn't said anything about, spending his time with you and teasing you as always because he loves how you laugh at his stupid jokes, gripping his amr whenever your somewhere crowdy with him. not to mention that he had noticed that you don't hesitate to drink water by the side of the cup he drank from. Yet the thought of you still talking with sukuna bothered him to no end. Everyday when he came to school and sees you talking to sukuna or giving that bitch notes made him wanting to punch the smirk off sukunas face. since the Christmas party was near, satoru as always already had decided to go to the party with you,and you had decided the same. So when he sees sukuna pining you against the locker room asking you to go to the party with him satoru's heart sinks in his stomach. He knew you'd say yes.. because you rarely rejected people because you were too weak to be rude like that. He just walked away from there saying nothing. That night he cried thinking that he might lose you to sukuna and his first love might be left incompleted. Little did he knew he was your first love and crush too. Few days passes like that and for the first time satoru avoides you, making you confused why did he said no to you wanting to lunch with him together, doing homework with you. You were done with this. So much.

(next day at school)

You approached satoru at lunch break,so when he looked at you his eyes have dark circles from no sleeping. "Satoru,can we talk?" You asked. Hoping that he will say yes. And he did,how could he not when you hand has grabbed his so softly and gently, looking at him with those cute eyes of yours. Almost making him forget that he was avoiding you,he lets you drag him by his hand to the corner of the school stairs, making sure there was no one.

"why are you avoiding me?"

"...."

He frozed, looking at you nervously and mindlessly getting his hand out of your grip. Your heart cracks seeing him acting like this,he had never took away his hand from you like this. Instead his arm had always wrapped around your shoulder, letting you stay close to him,your most safest place. Satoru sighs before speaking. His heart beating rapidly.

"you like sukuna dont you? Your going to the Christmas party with him right?"

"..."

You stare at him dumbfounded,a pout on your lips trying to register what he said,you and sukuna? How could he even imagine you dating sukuna, your just a normal girl and sukuna's a player who always dates new girls every month or even less than a month. You sigh looking at his angelic face

"you saw him asking me to go to the Christmas party with him right?*

Seeing satoru nod you smile softly

"i would never. How could you even think I'll go to the party with him? I don't wanna end up like other girls who ends up getting her heart broken after dating him. You know i always go to the party every year with you?

wrapping your arms around him pulling you into a comforting hug,tears were already running down satoru's face in happiness and over him being a dumbass like you. It didn't take too long for him to confess his love for you. making you both end up giggling and sharing your first kiss with him sitting on the stairs of karaoke on the day of Christmas.

[pasta-in-the-pudding]

DUDE I HAD NO IDEA YOU DIDNT DO NSFW AAA IM SURE I READ THROUGH THE RULES IF I REMEMBER CORRECTLY IM SO SORRYYY!

Anyhow to replace that older request, what about this.

Masky x daughter!reader (COMPLETELY PLATONIC AND ONLY FAMILY LOVING), what would be the aftermath of masky finding out Toby is dating reader? -🃏

Its ok everyone makes mistakes!!

BUT OMG YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I LOOOOVE THIS CONCEPT

Masky is such dad material <333

Thank you so much for requesting!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Masky with a daughter!reader dating Toby

Tim was hired by slender sometime in his late twenties to early thirties

Meaning you were just a little toddler at the time

Toby was hired at the age of 19, making you both legal adults by the time toby joined

Tim is always so proud of you, watching you grow up, learn to defend yourself, become an amazing person

Toby is...kind of the opposite

Dont get him wrong, Toby's a nice kid and all, he's just...loud...and annoying...and clingy

So when he bumps into you two in the hallway, your fingers interlocked and the two of you sharing a sweet kiss, Tim AUDIBLY sighs

This makes both you and toby look at him, toby jumps and looks ashamed, while you smile and hop over to your dad

"Dad!" You say, getting ready to explain everything

"Save it." He says "i really don't care who you date but....did it have to be him??"

You make a face "whats wrong with toby?"

"Nothing, nothing. Im just saying...you dont think you couldve gone after someone like E.J or Liu? Someone with ambition? Someone who isnt as smelly?"

You cross your arms and pout "toby is not smelly!"

Tim raises a brow before shaking his head and walking away

A few days after, Toby and Tim are sent out on a mission together

While getting geared up, toby speaks "um...sorry if im not who you wanted your daughter to date" he says, his speech being interrupted numerous times by whistles and grunts, as well as flicking his wrist, showing exactly how nervous he is

Tim, of course, notices this and sighs "it's not a huge deal, i was mostly teasing." He looks over to toby who seems to have calmed down a little

"That being said, if you ever hurt my little girl i will beat you within an inch of your life...only reason i wouldn't finish the job is because i dont wanna lose everything i worked for"

Toby gives a nervous smile "uh, wasn't planning on it"

"Good. You have nothing to worry about then" tim states simply, before walking off and getting into his truck

All in all, tim really doesnt care who you date, as long as theyre not huring you, and you arent hurting them, he doesnt care

He will absolutely tease you about it, but other than that there isnt really any interaction from him

[iamred-iamyellow]

Every Brocedes Coded Taylor Swift Song

@formulaocean

✰ = my favs that make me sob aka the ones that are MOST brocedes coded 

Taylor Swift:

-Teardrops on my guitar

“I’ll bet she’s beautiful, that girl he always talks about”

“I wonder if he knows he's all I think about at night”

-Cold As You

Fearless:

-You Belong With Me

-You’re Not Sorry

-The Way I Loved You

✰Forever & Always (piano version AUGHGHGHHG) 

-We Were Happy

Speak Now:

-Mine

“you were the best thing, that’s ever been mine” 

-Back to December 

✰The Story of Us

“miscommunications lead to fallout, so many things that I wish you knew”

“and the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now”

"but I liked it better when you were on my side"

Red: 

-Red

“forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you never met” 

-Sad Beautiful Tragic 

-Come Back…Be Here 

1989:

-Wildest Dreams

-All You Had To Do Was Stay

-Bad Blood

-Say Don’t Go 

-Now That We Don’t Talk

-Suburban Legends

“and you kiss me in a way that’s gonna screw me up forever”

-Is It Over Now? 

Reputation:

-Don’t Blame Me 

-Look What You Made Me Do

-Getaway Car 

Lover: 

-London Boy 

-False God

“we were crazy to think, crazy to think that this could work, remember how I said i’d die for you?"

✰Afterglow 

folklore: 

-the 1

“it would’ve been fun if you would’ve been the one”

“you know the greatest loves of all time are over now”

-cardigan 

✰exile

“you’re not my homeland anymore, so what am I defending now?”

“I'm not your problem anymore, so who am I offending now?”

“there is no amount of crying I can do for you”

“you never gave a warning sign”

-my tears ricochet 

✰invisible string 

evermore:

-coney island

“what's a lifetime of achievement? If I pushed you to the edge, but you were too polite to leave me” (except he did leave tho im screaming)

-marjorie 

-closure

“yes I got your letter” (THE PARALLELS CAUS LIKE THE LETTER LEWIS WROTE THAT NICO DIDNT GET AND TOTO HAD TO READ IT)

“I don't need your “closure””

✰right where you left me (self explanatory)

Midnights:

-Maroon 

✰The Great War (I will be making a web weave for this also I’m literally sobbing)

“It turned into something bigger, somewhere in the haze, got a sense I'd been betrayed”

“there's no morning glory it was war it wasn't fair.”

-You’re Losing Me (ik it wasn't a part of the official album but whatever)

TTPD:

✰So Long, London (every lyric. screaming, crying, vomiting.)

-loml

-The Black Dog

“I just dont understand how you dont miss me.”

“and I may never open up the way I did for you.”

✰Chloe or Sam or Sofia or Marcus (one of my moots made a web weave about this song and you should totally go look at it here caus it's heartbreaking dhhdjsjjds)

-How Did It End?

-I Look In People’s Windows

"does it feel alright not to know me?”

“what if your eyes looked up and met mine one more time”

Honorable Mentions:

-I Don’t Wanna Live Forever

“I just wanna keep calling your name till you come back home”

-Treacherous

“I just think you should, think you should know that nothing safe is worth the drive”

-cowboy like me

“and the skeletons in both our closets plotted hard to fuck this up”

“never wanted love just a fancy car”

[texasbama]

I wanna ask your opinion on something bc im not black and dont wanna overstep on anything but have you noticed that 911 is like more tragic and graphic w trauma than necessary w black people than others? Im doing a rewatch and it seems like all the mains get reasonable physical traumas but then theres hen w losing nia and athena being beaten. I just finished the tania story and it was like more graphic about her death then i thought necessary not to mention the mara plot. Idk maybe im overthinking but the only other really graphic story i can think is the maddie one w doug hitting her but again wasnt nearly as bad as jeffrey attacking athena. I also think in terms of calls theres almost always a black parent dying and leaving kids behind and i just wanna know your opinion

oh no you are 100% spot on. while this is a show that showcases all types of trauma, the trauma with the black characters - minor or major- are almost always more violent and tragic in nature. it's abhorrent. Athena beaten the way she was. Mara's backstory and then comparing her trauma to a dog. A DOG. showing her taken away from the Wilson's in such a traumatic way. idk if you followed me back when 6x03 aired but Tanya's story had me sick to my stomach. I know there have been a lot of episodes of this show, but I don't recall one that has EVER been that vile. Is it a reality for little black girls? unfortunately. but to see it played out like that? i was disgusted.

and honestly, I'm sure if we went through each episode there are probably more examples. 911 is no stranger to tragedy but they definitely make sure the black characters trauma is the worst. I am convinced that 1) there are no black writers in that writers room. 2) Tim Minear and Co. love to exploit black trauma, specifically with black children. Overall this show is amazing, but they fail in a spectacular fashion when it comes to writing stories for these black characters that is impactful but doesn't exploit our trauma. They have to do better.

[sillygirlactivities]

Let Me Be Your Girl

Summary: You decided you weren't a little girl anymore. Pairing: DBF Leon Kennedy x Younger Fem Reader (y/n) Tags: older Leon (mid 30s), reader is 20, IM SORRY I DIDN'T WANNA USE Y/N IT JUST HAPPENED, f masturbation, p in v

A/N: first (official) fic! Feedback is appreciated !! Please enjoy! ₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊ (he has a slight accent DONT CARE IF ITS NOT CANON IDFC)

╔══ ஓ๑♡๑ஓ ══╗

I loved wearing short skirts, tight tops, little bows in my hair.

I loved parading myself around knowing I had everyones eyes on me.

But boys my age would never be what I wanted, I always wanted something older. More bitter. Like how I always would take whiskey over cheap beer. Sweet wine over a shot. Just like how I wanted him from the start. Leon has always been close to my dad. Whenever my dad was on missions, Leon was there to watch me. Held me over my first breakup, gave me my first glass of whiskey. I mean what about him was there not to love? "You'll find older is always better hunny." He told me after pouring me a glass. Leon always wanted me to be safe. Drinking with him than at some stupid party with drunk boys. "Teenage boys don't know how to treat someone like you yet baby." He said to me that night. That's when it started, my little teenage crush on Leon. Whenever he came over my shorts got shorter, my tops tighter. I always did my hair up for him, my makeup a little nicer than usual. I started to wear the bows in my hair for him when he said drunkly to me, "You should wear these more often. Make you look pretty." he said stumbling all over his words, mindlessly moving my hair out of my face. I tried making my crush on him obvious, brushing my hand along his, bending over to pick stuff up, listening to him talk about his hard day at work. Batting my lashes at him, practically giving him fuck me eyes. Never did he ever do anything back. Moved away from my advances even. Now I'm 20, still having him babysit me like some stupid teenager. I'm not some stupid kid anymore who can't take care of herself. I pull my tits into my lacy cami top, braiding my hair putting little bows at the end, just like he said he liked. My pj shorts rested low on my hips, barely doing anything to cover up the pink lacy underwear underneath.

Tonight I was going to prove to Leon I wasn't some dumb kid he needed to protect and watch over, but rather a girl who could love. A girl he could fuck. No more restless nights in my bed, fucking into my own hand thinking of him, I needed him. Just once. To ruin every other man for me, just like he said. "Older always better."

I hear the door open downstair, "Hey baby, your daddy said I had to watch you tonight." I hear him yell from downstairs. I skip down the stairs checking myself in the mirror before going into the kitchen. I smile big before jumping into his arms. "Leon!!" I can hear him chuckle as he holds me back. His hands resting on my lower back, never any lower. I lean my head back to look up at him, "Don't you think I'm a little old for a babysitter?" Leon tilts his head at me, "No but I also rather not lose my job because I told your dad off." I roll my eyes at him, "Daddy likes you to much, he'd never do that." Leon walks around the kitchen, in what I'm assuming is making us dinner. So I perch myself up on the counter, trying to position myself in a way that would draw his attention to me. I hear him sigh, "Yeah, I guess I am a favorite of his ain't I?" He puts the pan on the stove next to me, and he leans over me. I lean into him more, "Yeah, and I think he knows I'd be mad if I didn't see you around again." I say smiling, bringing my face closer to his. Leon immediately backs up. I pout a bit, going to get off the counter before, "You need to stop that." He says gruffly from his spot on the other side of the kitchen. I tilt my head, walking towards him. "Stop doing what Leon?" He turns and stops me in my tracks, my face almost colliding with his chest. "Parading yourself around for me, I'm not stupid y/n." I look up at him, giving him the best fuck me eyes I can give. "Than give me what I want Leon." I put my hand out onto his chest, "I've only been asking for years now. Just one time is all I'm asking for." He grabs my wrist and leans into my face, "Baby, one time would ruin you. Would risk me my entire job. What if your daddy found out huh? I think he'd kill me." I tilt my head, pouting out my lip a bit, "He doesn't have to find out, you're a government agent, I know you can keep a secret."

The grip he had on my wrist got a little tighter, and he gave me a harsh look, like he was trying to figure out what he was going to do to me. That look, the grip he had on me, made me wet. I step closer into him, "Leon, please?" He dropped my wrist, "Go to your room." He turned away from me, going back to cooking. "Your sending me to my room?" I stop my foot on the tile. "I am not a fucking child Leon!" He swiftly turns, "Your sure actin like it!" I sniffle and climb up the stairs back to my room. I slam my door before letting out another little sob. I was not a little kid anymore. I lay in my bed, cuddling my pillow. I sniffle again drying whatever tears were last till I had another idea. Why be sad when I can make myself feel better? I reach into my bedside table grabbing my pink vibrator, before removing my pj pants.

I sit up on my knees, before turning it on and placing it on my clit. I moan, loudly at the feeling. If I wasn't going to get the attention from him, I'll give it to myself. I spread myself out onto my bed, ass up, starting to grind into it. "Y/N! Dinner is ready!" I moan, turning it on to the higher setting, ignoring Leon. I hear him start to climb up the steps before swinging my door open. I don't stop. I open my legs wider, exposing my wet cunt to him. I keep chasing my high before I feel a pair of hands grab me and flip me over. He grabs the vibartor out of my hands, and throws it across the room. "What the fuck do you think you're doing." I tilt my head, "Pleasing myself cus you wouldn't man up and do it for me."

Leon grabs my hips harder, digging his hands into my hips. "You're real stupid to think this would work on me." I get my foot in-between us, pushing on his lower stomach. "Well something down there is say something else, hun." Leon grabs me again, pushing my leg out of the way, putting me flush onto his hard on. He leans down, putting his face right in mine, "Well, Hun, me ever fucking you, is not an option. I could lose my job, your dad's friendship. It doesn't matter how badly I want you or your tight ass cunt." His grip on my hips feels bruising now, causing me to lock my legs around him.

"Leon nobody has to know, please. I can't explain to you how much I need you. " I plead to him. "I know, you think I can't hear you up here? Walls are pretty thin here baby, and do you know how hard it is to not come up here and treat you the way you're begging?" He seethes out of his mouth. "Trust me I've had blue balls for months Y/n."

I let out a shakey breath, "Nobody, Leon, has to know." I bring my hand up to cup his cheek, "I can keep a secret and my dad would never know any better. Please." I beg. Guess my pleading worked because next thing I know his mouth was on mine. Hot, feverish, sloppy, kisses. In a mess on tongue and teeth clashing, panting into each others mouth. He moves down to my neck, leaving hickeys on my collarbone, "Gotta stop wearing those stupid tiny little camis, drive me fucking wild baby. I know every other boy is staring at your pretty little tits too, but they'll never see em' will they baby?" He continues his assault on my chest, "No, nuh-uh." I drunkly mumble out.

I can hear him chuckle as he moves his hands under my shirt, "We haven't got to the good part and you're already drunk on me, ain't that cute." I whine at his words, "Leon~". I tilt my head back, trying to grind myself into him, (very unsuccessfully). He finally pulls my shirt off of me, before running his hands back down to my thighs. "Just because I think you've been left so high and dry for so long, I'll give into you but next time you're gonna have to work for it, k baby?" I frantically nod my head, desperate for him to touch me, "Yes Sir." I watch him smirk above me as he starts to play with my clit. "I like that." He says to me, before he slips in one of his large sized fingers, causing my to moan. "Fuck aren't you wet, I really get you going huh hun." I can sense the shit eating grin he has on his face, but my eyes are rolled so far into the back of my head I could give a fuck less. He continues to finger me open, before I start to come undo around his fingers. "We aren't done yet baby, still haven't had my turn." He flips me over and pulls me to the edge of the bed, lifting my ass up to meet his hips. He puts the tip to my entrance, circling and tapping on it just to get a reaction out of me. It worked, I was squirming and moaning beneath him. "Leon, fuck, please just fuck me already." I cry into my sheets. I feel him push into me, causing me to gasp at how wide I was being spread open. "You said you wanted it." He says from behind me. And he took advantage of it. The grip he had on my hips would leave bruises in the morning as he pounded his cock into me. Leaving me a drooling, moaning mess, gripping onto my sheets. He moves one hand under my chin, bringing me up to him, "You can't even say how good you feel I'm fucking you so good, huh baby?" He chuckles as nothing but a broken moan escapes me as I paw at the hand on my chin. He spits into my mouth before pushing me back into my sheets. Keeping one hand on my head, pushing me down and the other still bruisingly gripping my hip. He starts to pound into me faster, "Come on baby, I'm close, I know you close. Can feel your little pussy squeezing me." I can hear his low groans as he pounds into me faster. I let out a loud, broken moan as I feel myself cum around his cock. He pulls out just in time, coming all over my ass as I twitch and squirm underneath him. He moves a piece of my bangs out of my face, leaning over me. "You alright baby?" I nod, contently (after having the best fuck of my life) before he smiles, "Well let's get you cleaned up then and we can have dinner. I made your favorite." And he did, he showered you, helped you change your clothes, he even let you pick out the movies you guys watched as y'all ate. You cuddled up into his chest after, him running his fingers through your hair, both contently holding each other, falling asleep on the couch.

╚══ ஓ๑♡๑ஓ ══╝

A/N: AAAAAA I hope yall enjoyed!! much love if you read this far !! <33 :3

[also-fours]

something i dont get is why some people feel so obligated to stay hyperfixated on something that's taking a while to come out, to the point where they feel the need to shout to the hills that they dont care about it anymore and dont wanna make fan content for it anymore like it's such a hot take and they're so brave for losing interest in doing the same thing for years on end

girl.

no one's telling you that you HAD to try and focus on it for that long

there are OTHER things that are out there, part of the reason why devs like toby fox and team cherry are perfectly fine keeping people waiting for so long is BECAUSE theres plenty of fish in the sea, you dont NEED to focus on them forever

they dont need to give you communication on shit if they dont want to and they're not ready to because you havent been spending your money on the games themselves, have you?

and the merch you HAVE been spending your money on is a separate thing

toby's given you development newsletter updates, team cherry's said they're working on the game, that's all you need to know

these are PEOPLE and they are not obligated to feed your hyperfixation when you want them to

go play in stars and time, go play blue fire

or like. get into something completely different than deltarune or hollow knight

try something new

that being said, this IS the autism website

so for all i know your brains are telling you that you HAVE to be deltarune and hollow knight girlies and make fan content of em for the rest of your days until these new games come out

so, it's probably easier for me, i have autism differently than you guys do

that being said...just try not to be a jerk about it, okay?

making games is hard. don't make it harder for them.

[delusional-mishaps]

well guys. since i missed epic's birthday (devastating) have some headcanons :)

he is one of those weaboos who learned japanese so he can watch anime "the authentic way" (his words)

so he's fluent in japanese 💀 he literally only learned it for anime but dude was DEDACTED

he's so cringe guys 😭 i can say that. he's my boyfriend i love him

he would adore those cute anime girl v-tubers. like not in a weird way but he'd watch a lot of them

HE PLAYS GENSHIN 💀 he'd probably main beidou or raiden shogun/ei.. maybe run a full electro team with miko and fischl too 😭 (fischl is his fave character he loves her backstory and her bird thing idk i dont use fischl 💀) he loves the electro characters for some reason idk

HE HAS THE WORST LUCK ON THIS GAME THO. bro has c6 diluc (me too ☹️) and all his artifacts SUCK ASS even tho he'll grind every day

he has to spend money on every banner because he always loses his 50/50 and only gets high pity

ok enough genshin headcanons he's cringe we know this

im here ranting about a game i hate because my dumb boyfriend plays it so much

he hangs out with cross a lot ofc BUT

whenever he hears the word cross used in any context he turns to cross like "CROSS????? BRUH THATS YOU!!" (i always make these jokes. im projecting)

cant believe jesus died on his best friend fr... LMAOOO

he speedruns minecraft. he's NOT GOOD AT IT. but he can do it

he's had his speedruns ruined by creepers like 7 times

one time he somehow got into the deep dark and got killed by the warden??? idk what bro was doing down there in a speedrun dawg 😭

sorry he's a gamer in my head but hes really bad at every game he plays (just like me fr)

he sleeps under like 6 different weighted blankets in the hopes that he wont thrash around when he sleeps but he's too strong and ends up tossing them all off his bed 😭

bro needs to be CRUSHED to fall asleep!! he literally cant fall asleep without the weight

not that he likes to sleep anyway because of the nightmares but whatever. hes gotta do it. unfortunately.

he fights in his dreams ofc thats like canon but bro is throwing punches in his sleep fr

if he gets a partner (me fr!!) they gotta sleep in a different ROOM 😭 he is taking NO CHANCES and tbh thats so fair i wouldnt wanna wake up being beaten up by my bf

he is so ipad baby-core <3 he'll just watch youtube on his ipad all day if u let him but he's an old man and needs his spectacles otherwise he's holding it at arm's length 💀

don't forget bro is literally a doctor?? he's SO smart but he uses his goofy persona as a cover up

im convinced like most of the people that know him actually dont know this. they all think hes dumb as bricks 💀

them he'll casually say smth super smart and everyone is like ???????? HELLO??? SINCE WHEN DID UR BRAIN WORK??

i love drawing epic with glasses guys he looks so cute. but he has old man reading glasses

this the typa shit he wears

AND HE FUCKING. anime glasses 😭

like yk how ppl in anime push glasses up

him fr

AUUGH WHY IS HE SO CRINGE I NEED TO CRUSH HIM

he actually needs his glasses all the time but he doesnt like to look like a NERDD so he doesnt wear them

he makes cross read everything for him

they go out to eat and gotta make him read the whole menu otherwise hes holding it 2cm from his face 💔

"whatd that sign say i cant read it"

"dude the letters are huge how cant you read it"

"oh lol i need my glasses my bad bruh"

"YOU ARE DRIVING A CAR RIGHT NOW????"

actually he cant legally drive. because thats funnier than if he could

id still be his passenger princess <3 i refuse to get my license

anyway guys isnt my boyfriend so silly

im so tiredni needto seelp goodnight smooork mimimumumu

its 3am i neednto get up in 5 hours naioiiooooooo

goodbye guys enhjoy my boyfrien mdgrf

[youremyheaven]

Hey! I'm really sorry if this is a dumb or annoying question, I get it if it is, because i'm aware compatibility is a very broad concept 😭 So... I'm ardra moon and Sun dk and Ive ALWAYS fell for sun nakshatra men (all of them in their moon) maybe mars and saturn too but always Sun. In Claire Nakti's rahu dominant women video, she explains why rahu dominants are attracted to yang planets and sun men so I get it. But in your opinion are rahu and sun dominants mutually compatible? because I always have this experience of getting obsessed with them but them not giving a special fuck about me and not understanding me. and i love every part of them except that. like we can be friends with no problem but i never feel special and i wonder if sun men like us rahu girls or not 😭😭😭 im fine if they dont but i really wanna know! so if you can give me your opinion at least in general, i'll appreciate it! ❤️

OoOoh this is a v interesting question!! Tbh I don't think these connections are very healthy in general and although individual synastry will also dictate the course of a relationship, I feel like while Rahuvians are drawn to Yang planets/Solar men because they're in the darkness and reaching for the light, the people whose light or energy they seek to absorb is bound to feel very ??? by their presence. They could feel drained by you or they could feel irritated bc they can sense you trying to draw them in and they don't want to give you their "light" if that makes sense? Sun in general is self serving, it represents the ego, Solar men do not have a very "giving nature" in my observations. I have noticed a similar dynamic with Ketu & Jupiter as well. Ketuvians are pulled in by Jupiter's expansiveness and Jupiter being very giving leads to a very obsessive but abusive and unhealthy relationships

Nodal people in general tend to be very obsessive in romance and the source of this obsession/limerence is their need to feed on someone's yang energy/light to feel stable. I had a friend with Rahu & Ketu big 3 who for a few years was obsessed with a certain celebrity to a creepy concerning extent and then finally she moved on but I always thought it was a way for her to hang on to something?? i think it's very easy to project onto someone and be completely obsessed with them when in reality the fact that they ignore u or pay u no mind is enough to lose interest in them entirely???

[mikanlardyclinic]

"Oi kale been waiting for you at the usual spot for a while! Everything okay?.."

"i..I'm okay! J...Just d..don't come in please.. I..im not feeling okay! I..i can't train with you today.. S..sorry!.."

"kale! You've been saying the same excuse for 3 months! I haven't seen you leave the room once! Listen i care for ya but I'm getting worried I'm going in! If you're in your underwear or somethin just cover yourself as best you can!"

THUMP... THUMP!

"huh?.. What.. The.. Kale did you block the door with somethin?.. Come on! You know damn well that won't work just because i don't like wrecking our hideout that doesn't mean i won't do it! You got me worried sick over here!"

"j..just don't come in please!!.."

"kale if you got hurt or something atleast let me see it so i can help you!"

THUMP.. CRACK!!

Caulifla's fist broke through the door grabbing something squishy while looking for the handle..

"The hell?! Did you smuggle a new throne for me or something?! Wow.. This stuff is really soft like jello... a..anyhow! I'm still coming in!"

"n..no please d..dont!"

Caulifla entered the room cleaning some debri from her fist as whe looked at the reason why kale didn't wanna come out..

"P..please d..dont look at me!!"

"sniff.. P...please..sniff.. C..close t..the door please d..dont.. Don't look at me.. !"

Tears streamed from the timid saiyan's face her sweaty lardy body exposed.. All that hard work done with caulifla buried beneath heavy layer of lard..

"oh.. Oh.. Oh crud.. Kale kale calm down.. Shit maybe i shouldn't have come in.. I was just worried nobody's seen you in weeks and i didn't know if you even wanted to hang out with me anymore.. Just. Okay okay calm down please.."

Caulifla hugged her protege her arms burying into her sides and into the sweaty rolls in kale's body.. She reeked of sweat and food.. She hadn't even gone out for a shower..

"it's okay.. I..im sorry if i was too rash just tell me what happened.. Why don't you wanna go train with me? Or hang out anywhere for that matter! "

"i..it's.. I.. I don't wanna hurt you!.. L..last t..time i really really hurt you.. I was so scared i blacked out while sparing and i woke up with you on the brink of death!.. I..i don't want to harm you.. A..and i..i ruined this body so much.. T..the body you helped me tone a..and that you looked so happy to see grow.. "

"and after that you went to hide and keep eating the normal amount we usual eat right?.."

caulifla gropes kale's gut trying to derrail the conversation a bit.. She was also scared at that moment not of getting killed.. But that she had pushed kale too far.. That she might have been unable to get back undercontrol.. That she would become a mindless beast.. She liked fighting with kale.. But she didn't want her to be lost in bloodlust or self hatred forever..

".. Listen i get it i was a tiiiiny bit scared then too.. But when you started avoiding me i thought i had really messed up as well.. I won't push ya to train anymore i get that you don't like fighting me.. Plus it's not like you destroyed it.. Your body is still yours you treat it how you wanna! I don't mind you being buff or a complete butterball you dummy! I love ya all the same! "

"you're not mad?.. I..I've been just gorging myself in here and lying to you for so long.. I..i don't think I'll ever be in any condition to spar or train again.."

"of course not you dummy! I care more about you being okay than you getting stronger pluuuus!!"

"with all this extra plush you're even softer to cuddle with! So just relax and keep gorging yourself if you wanna! I just want you to feel okay! Buut if you ever wanna lose the tummy you tell me okay?.."

"Y..yes! G..gosh you just lifted a weight off my shoulders caulifla i..i really d..didn't know how to talk to you about this and.. Eeep!"

"And speaking of lifting weights!" caulifla lifted kale's gut with one hand seeing the unbuckled belt and shorts struggling to contain the saiyan's girl fupa

"if you ever need help relieving some stress around don't be shy and just ask!~ i wouldn't mind going spelunking under there~"

A brightblush appeared on the flabby girl face..

"I..I'll k..keep that in mind hehe!~"