#dont talk through somebody's set

[sunbedo]

Hey guys. gay rights

[privateventblog]

Ok look I get that people wanna be helpful and have social anxiety about it I really do (I am also one of these people!) But people have REALLY got to be better about not pushing the bounderies into infantilization, ESPECIALLY with disabled people PLEASE.

If I say I don't need help I don't need it!! It's not an invitation to keep asking with every little thing 😭😭

I've had people offer to even carry me for no reason when I use my cane!! THATS A NO, BUDDY. I just want to get through the day.

And the funny thing is it actually ends up doing the complete opposite of what you want it to do because instead of making the world more accessible it actually makes it 9 million times worse because now I'm stressed AND going into sensory overload.

[ohdeerfully]

hi! I have a request, I've never really done this before but I'll give it a shot. so my request is that Charlie is tasked by heaven to watch over a very special human soul via a device that is like a full 360 VR kind of setup and this soul just so happens to be Alastor's immortal wife (he didn't know she was) whom he thought had died with him during a bad event and wound up in heaven but she didn't and She stayed the same since the 1930s like her looks stayed the same and her love for Alastor stayed too she never once tried to move on even when her new friends in this time tried to get her a guy but she just refused still wearing the wedding ring her gave her

I hope it's not too much to ask it can be changed to whatever you see if you have full creative control over it!

thank you for your brain anon

theres a couple awkward POV shifts in the story and im super duper sorry about that D: im not good at those

An Eternity

alastor x reader (angst) TW: reader is female, reader gets a lil drunk and drives but shes fine(i do not condone this pls dont drink and drive im so serious), yearning goes ouchie ):

join my discord!

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Alastor rarely, if ever, talked about his time alive. He saw it pointless; a waste of time and energy. How could it benefit him if somebody else knew his history? If anything, it would only open up weak points. And, being an Overlord, he couldn’t afford that.

The only hint of his past was a band on his finger that he never took off. Even after decades in Hell, nobody saw him without it.

People often asked, of course, because how in the Hell did the Radio Demon get hitched? Even in life, he was probably just as unusual and off putting. These questions were always met with a dismissive wave and a laugh, but anybody who knew him—which wasn’t many, truly—would recognize the strain in his voice as he brushed them off. Whatever the story was seemed to only grow more painful with time.

He was deep in thought, humming absently as he trailed through the hotel. He ended up meandering by Charlie’s room, which was cracked open. He took this as an invitation to let himself in, cheerfully grinning as he saw the girl sitting on the edge of her bed looking extremely confused.

“Hello, dear!” He announced himself, standing up straight and fixing his bowtie with one hand. “What does this afternoon have in store for the Princess of Hell?”

“Heyy, Al,” Charlie responded, still frowning at the contraption in her hand. It was a rather bulky thing; an unappealing piece of new technology, Alastor decided. Still, he loomed from behind Charlie with a curious bend in his neck. Her shoulders were stiff, and he couldn’t tell if it was from frustration with the thing in her hand or discomfort at him watching her. 

“What is that peculiar thing?” He finally asked, since Charlie made no attempt at explanation. She seemed too focused to really pay him any mind.

“Something Heaven gave me to watch some curious soul they can’t control,” She murmured, fiddling with a couple buttons and knobs. “They’ve got me doing some ridiculous things. I mean, some human soul shouldn’t even concern me. But, they promise these favors will help with my hotel.”

Alastor hummed in response. He of all demons would recognize a manipulation tactic when he saw one—convincing a powerful demon princess to do your chores and promising to help her desperate project in return seemed like something the angels would do. He didn’t care one way or another, as long as Charlie’s naivete didn’t get in the way of his own goals.

He took a few steps back when Charlie stood, seemingly finished with setting up the box. He grinned, amused, when she pulled it over her head. It wasn’t the most flattering thing, and pretty bulky on her face. She looked ridiculous, honestly.

“Modern technology,” He sighed dramatically, leaning down onto his cane as he continued to observe her. “Only getting uglier.”

Charlie didn’t respond to his comment, looking around at what Alastor saw as nothing. She played around with the settings again, and adjusted the straps on her head again, before looking around again. She let out a successful sounding “hell yes” before pulling a remote of sorts from her pocket. She pushed on a joystick.

“What are you doing?” Alastor asked plainly, the building curiosity finally becoming too much. “Why do you have a box on your head?”

“It’s like…” She began to explain, trying to think of how to make sense of it to him. “Like… imagine you were looking through the eyes of somebody else, but still standing in the same spot..?” Her voice tilted at the end, unsure of her explanation.

Yeah, no, Alastor had no clue. But he dismissed it as unnecessary, as he often did with any technology he couldn’t understand.

“I’m seeing… Earth, I guess,” Charlie explained more. “Following around this girl.”

Alastor was only partially listening, humming quietly to himself as he just observed. He wondered if he should just leave—nothing interesting was happening. He was curious to see what antics Heaven was pushing on the Princess of Hell, though.

“Wanna try?” Charlie offered, lifting the headset up away from her eyes. Alastor immediately scrunched his nose up and narrowed his eyes.

“And look as ridiculous as you? Hah! No thank you,” He sat down on a chair near the wall, leaning against the back of it. He threw one leg up over the other. Charlie shrugged in response, and pulled the contraption back down.

Alastor sat for a while, absently thinking about what he wanted to do later as he waited for something to happen.

“Oh! Hold on,” Charlie suddenly said, causing Alastor’s ears to straighten to attention as she reached up and pressed a button. A holographic projection appeared out of nowhere, manifesting through some strange magic. “Forgot I could do that. This is what I’m seeing in here.” 

Alastor stood and walked closer, leaning forward on his cane as he studied the projection. It seemed like some kind of bar. He mused at how different modern bars looked from the speakeasies he would frequent during his own life.

“What heavenly task are you doing in a bar?” He joked, trying to find something interesting in the projection. It just seemed like generic bar business. Loud, flirtatious women and boisterous, over confident men. That, at least, was the same from his day.

“Like I said earlier,” Charlie explained, looking around the room. The projection seemed to follow her movement, and Alastor recognized that he was basically seeing through her eyes. How curious. “There’s some… soul they lost control of. And they want me to report to them about her.”

Alastor was very curious to see what kind of soul broke from control of literal heaven. He watched rather intently, leaned forward against his cane to watch the projection.

Charlie turned another knob, and the sound of tacky pop music and loud chatter began to emanate from the bar scene. Alastor wasn’t a fan of newer music, but he was often forced to listen anyway in the hotel lobby.

“Is it possible to turn down that dreadful noise?” He complained to her, announcing his dissatisfaction.

“No. I need to be able to hear what the woman is saying,” Charlie answered stubbornly. Alastor’s microphone of a cane began to obnoxiously play a song of his choice for a moment in retaliation, but died down after a few moments. After all, Charlie ignored his attempt at aggravation, so there was no point in keeping it up.

Charlie looked around the bar, searching. Finally, her gaze settled on a fancier booth with half drawn curtains. From her angle, she could only see a woman. She looked frustrated.

“---get out of your shell! It’s about time you start talking to some guys for once,” Charlie caught the tail end of the woman’s statement. She was gesturing wildly around, exasperation evident in the jagged movements. “I’m sick of watching you pine for somebody who’s been gone for ages.”

★

“Ten years isn’t ages, Mechiele,” You drew your finger against the table, making shapes with the rim of water that the condensation from your glass left. Nearly a hundred years, more like, You commented to yourself. You never told anybody that you were an immortal being. Nobody believed you when you did, anyway.

You sat your cheek against the palm of your hand and lifted your gaze to your friend, who looked at you with a sharp frown. You shot her a weak smile. 

“Can you just drop it?” You asked, nearly pleading. You didn’t want to cry tonight, being a little tipsy—you were an emotional drunk. You didn’t want to embarrass yourself blabbering about a dead husband.

“Come on,” Mechiele said impatiently, pushing your pleas aside. “There’s so many hot guys in here, I bet one would just love to take a piece of work like you home and-”

“Mechiele.” You hoped your tone was enough to shut her up.

You should’ve known better, honestly. Mechiele was already abrasive when she was sober, but with the amount of drinks she’s had tonight…

“No, no, no! You bum! Get your ass up right now and get out there! And take that ring off while you’re at it!”

Mechiele quickly lunged at you, a much too playful look in her eye considering how pissed you were right now. You yanked your arm away from her grasp, cupping your hand protectively with the other, shielding the golden band on your finger from her.

“Fucking drop it!” You snapped at her, standing from your seat. “I’m going home. You’re too drunk. I’ll drive.”

“You’re so fucking lame,” Mechiele droned, falling back into her seat. She wouldn’t budge when you urged her to stand and come with you. “He’s fuckin’ dead! Get a new man, already! Alastor’s not-”

Mechiele stopped abruptly when you smacked her. It wasn’t an incredibly hard smack or anything, barely enough to leave a red bloom on her cheek, but it was enough. She looked at you through narrowed eyes. You returned the same expression.

You left the booth and stormed off, cursing under your breath about it all. About Mechiele, about this stupid bar, about the tipsy feeling in your head, about Alastor—

You folded your arms together as you briskly walked to your car, yelling in frustration at your heels and ripping them off your feet. The ground was a little wet and cold, but you didn’t care. After making it to your car, you threw yourself in an switched it on.

You thought for a few moments. You were lightheaded after a few drinks, but you really didn’t want to wait for a taxi. You’d probably be fine, yeah? Sure. Against your better judgment, you began to drive.

It was a long drive, but it gave you some time to think.

You missed him. You pined for him. Nearly every night was agony, missing the presence of the only man you’ve ever fallen in love with.

You cursed whatever higher power there was for making you this way—immortal. How cruel it was, to make you live forever to suffer this longing. You didn’t even notice when you ended up in your room, but you let yourself fall face first onto your bed, curling up into a ball.

Even more, you cursed yourself for ever falling in love. You should’ve known it would only lead to an endless torture of heartbreak. You would never love anybody the same; although, you don’t think you’d want to, even if you could.

You were born to suffer. To spend an eternity in life without him.

★

Charlie continued to watch in shock for a few moments, her mouth dropped at the mention of the Radio Demon’s name. The previously hidden woman stepped from the bar, a furious look in her eyes as she stormed away. Mechiele was left with stubbornly folded arms and an empty glass of alcohol.

“Heyyy, uh, Al, how common is your name..? Do you know…” Charlie asked a bit awkwardly. She got no response. She lifted the headset, and realized he was gone. Even still, there seemed to be a lingering feeling of intense static, and the air somehow felt a bit heavier than before.

★

This had to be some cruel, sick joke, right? Heaven had to be toying with him, finally finding a way to torture his soul. His wife—she was dead. It had been nearly a hundred years since he died, and even if she had lived till she was old—

Alastor was pacing his room, ears pinned and eyes wide in frantic thought. Oh, how he yearned for her. He had managed for so long to push the memory of her away, to lock up his loss in a tight cage as he climbed the ranks of hell; it had all come rushing, barreling, torrenting back when he had seen her—or, no, somebody that looked like her—step out of those curtains. It was only a coincidence that that woman looked like his wife, and only a coincidence that she had a dead husband that shared his name.

His wife was in heaven, no doubt; which was where she belonged, of course, but Alastor had spent the last decade pining for somebody who he could never see again. If given the choice, Alastor wasn’t so sure himself if he was kind enough as to not tear her soul from Heaven and down to Hell by his side. Alternatively, even if Charlie’s idea of redemption were to work, Alastor was truly irredeemable. It was all wistful thinking, anyway.

Alastor’s claws dug into the curtains of his window, staring out into the streets of Hell in an attempt to concentrate on one steady stream of thought.

When billions of people touch the Earth, it’s only natural that coincidences like this rise. Right? He tried desperately to convince himself of different possibilities. It just made no sense.

A knocking at his door made Alastor’s grin curl in deadly malice. He really wasn’t in the mood.

He paced to his door, opened it just enough to fit his body in the frame, and glared down at Charlie. She was wringing her hands together nervously, and only seemed to grow more timid as the heavy, almost palpable ambience of his radio static filled the hallway she stood in.

“I’m busy,” Alastor said bluntly. His lips were curled in a sneer.

“I can tell,” Charlie responded. "I know you don't like talking about yourself-" She began to ramble on about him talking to her about his feelings and whatnot, but Alastor didn’t listen as he shut the door again.

Though, the interruption did give his mind a chance to slow. He sat on a chair in the corner of his room, and opted to fiddle with the radio on the drawer next to him. He tuned it—or, more just magically infused it—to play some jazz to try to keep his head level.

It would take some time to rebuild the dam that held back the memories of his wife. Even just the mere thought of her made him feel weak, and he hated it. The only soul he was capable of falling in love with—gone, forever.

Alastor never took the whole “eternity of damnation” thing seriously, considering the power he held and how comfortable he really was in Hell. However, when he remembered her—

Hell truly was torture. And he was cursed to spend his eternity in death without her.

[specialagentlokitty]

10th doctor x deaf!reader - the way you talk

Heya! Absolutely love your work! I've been rewatching doctor who ready for davids comeback😍 it's kinda hard because i'm deaf and sometimes the subtitles dont keep up with the timings😫 i was wondering if i could request a 10th doctor with a deaf reader if possible pleaseeee, thanks 💜 - Anon💜

A/N: Italics will be sign language

The TARDIS enabled the doctor to speak and listen to every language there was.

And for somebody like it, it was amazing, incredibly useful, meaning there wasn’t anything that would be lost in translation.

But, he realised there was limitations to this, and that he wouldn’t make him an expert in some areas, especially sign language.

He knew some, enough to get by if needed.

But when he met you, he realised that wouldn’t be enough if he wanted to communicate with you.

You talked through notepads and text messages, but for him it wasn’t enough, he wanted more. He wanted to communicate with you the way you had to.

So, when he had some free time, which surprisingly was quite a lot considering he always seemed so busy, he began to learn.

And when he next went to pick you up, he wore a grin from ear to ear as he waved at you.

You waved back, following him into the TARDIS, and you set your notepad and pen on the console, putting your bag out of the way before coming back over.

The doctor was flicking through the notepad, and you waved your hand at him, gesturing for him to pass it back.

Quickly writing in it, you flipped it over and held it out to him.

‘Where are we going?’

The doctor beamed.

He took it from you and set it down, making you furrow your brows a little bit, and he began to put some coordinates in.

You took the notepad again, asking him where he was taking you, but he wouldn’t reply, so you knew it was a surprise he had planned for you.

Which wasn’t so bad, except usually his surprises ended in some sort of running or rescue situation.

He was bouncing around, and you smiled as you watched him, leaning against the railing as you just watched him bounce from thing to thing, doing whatever it was he needed to do.

You didn’t quite know how the whole TARDIS worked, and he had offered to explain it, but you didn’t want him to sit there for hour writing it all down.

You were happy not knowing.

As long as you were travelling with him you didn’t care.

He bounding over, and with a grin he held out his hand to you.

“Come with me.” He said.

He knew you could lip read, so often he would just speak to you.

Sometimes he would forget and be stood behind you, trying to have a whole conversation with you and getting confused when you wouldn’t talk back.

You smiled, placing your hand in his, letting him lead you to the doors and outside.

It was bright, multiple sun sun the sky. It was warm, it wasn’t hot, it seemed like the perfect temperature.

The sand was a vibrant shade of gold, and in the distance the heatwaves rippled about, creating almost an illusion if there being water over there.

The doctor looked at you, smiling even more when he saw you smiling, and he reached out, tapping your shoulder.

You turned to him and he took a small breath.

I don’t know if I’m doing this right, I’m still learning.

Your eyes shot open at the sight of him signing, carefully watching what he was doing as he carried on.

But I want to make it easier for you to talk.

He looked at you slightly nervous.

How long have you been learning? When did you start?

You carried on signing questions and he quickly took your hands to stop you.

Laughing slightly, the doctor smiled and let go.

Not so fast, I’m still learning.

You grinned sheepishly.

Sorry. Why did you start?

So I could talk to you.

You furrowed your brows a little bit.

Yes we write or text to each other, but I want to talk to you properly. The way you do, I wanted to make it easier on you.

You smiled and rushed to hug him tightly, and he happily hugged you back.

He had a long way to go, but with some practice and you to help guide him, he would be able to have longer conversations with you in no time

[s-4pphics]

let the rain sing. 4 (a.a)

wc;cw: 7k, dadsbestfriend!abby, lawstudent!oc, large age gap(oc is 25, abby is mid 40s), abby is bi<3, slight angst yall know the deal, brief mentions of familial death, cigarettes, nasty sloppy sex MDNI, dubcon(they sipped a little), couch action :p, eating out no taco bell(pussy and ass), tribbing, meantop!abby, strength kink, lots of dirty talk, breeding kink😳😳, mult. orgasms, BREEDING STRAP(idk how they work im sowwie if it’s not accurate :/), slight d!p, body fluids(spit, fake and real cum LOL), UNPREPPED ANAL PLS DONT DO THIS, dumbification, degradation kink, pain kink it’s me duh, hair pulling, slapping, slight mirror sex??

The holiday season passed, and you were standing on Abby’s porch with your tail between your legs and exhaustion weighing you down. 

You’ve never been… nervous to see Abby. Whenever you arrived at her home, you were eager and desperate to be in her presence so she could take care of you, but now you were nauseas at the thought of using her that way. And it was all your fault. 

You haven’t spoken to her since the Christmas party. You didn’t know what to say. How do you approach somebody that you think hates you after an encounter like that? She went from rightfully kicking you out of her home to rubbing your pussy through your pants without care. In front of your entire family despite your mutual rules, and you didn’t even care enough to stop her. It almost felt like you switched places for the night: she was impulsive and irresponsible, and you allowed her to be, just like how she used to when she handled your demanding attitude. You wished she touched you more before she respectfully departed your parents’ home. 

You wanted to speak with Abby properly. You never thought you would be willing to sacrifice your kryptonite once you found it, but she didn’t deserve to be dragged along and solve your problems anymore. Your heart still hurts at the thought of making her cry and leaving her to it. You’re such an idiot. 

You called her before you showed up, but she didn’t answer. You don’t blame her for being distant, but she deserves an in-person explanation as to why you should never see her again. You’re a trainwreck and you need to deal with that alone, no matter how exhausting the journey would be. 

The sun was setting when you finally exited your car knocked on her door, looking down at your scuffed boots that dug into the melting ice on her porch. You wanted to check to see if her key was still in the same spot under her rug, but you refrained. Your heart filled when you noticed her unique little Christmas decorations still dangling from her door and windows. She loved her flowers, for sure.

When the door yanked open, your heart dropped, and your stomach did somersaults. 

Abby was dolled up in a red dress under a black trench coat with matching red nails and shoes, sparkling jewelry, and her hair was pulled back into a neat ponytail that cascaded down the back of her neck. She looked fucking gorgeous, and your throat went dry. She leaned against the frame as she eyed you, shock evident on her face. 

Don’t fold, don’t fold, don’t fold!

You watched her surprise swiftly shift into confusion and… aggravation? Your heart sunk further into the floor, but you held her gaze. 

“What’re you doing here?” 

Her voice made your heart squeeze painfully; You missed it terribly, regardless of how stiff she sounded. 

You took a shuddering breath, “… Hi, Abby.” 

She ignored your greeting, “What are you doing here?” She sounded like she was in a rush, and you wanted to cry. 

You swallowed harshly, “I-I know you’re probably busy, but I’m— “

“Look, I can’t deal with this right now. I have somewhere to be,” she quietly huffed with agitation like someone would hear, adjusting the shining watch on her wrist to check the time. You could feel her pulling away. 

It felt like every cell in your body was dying, your brain fighting on its last legs to conjure up a reply to get her to stay and speak with you. You would’ve dropped down to your knees if it wasn’t freezing. Is this how she felt whenever you would shut her down to fuck? Nausea came in waves. 

“I don’t,” you weren’t shaking from the cold. “I don’t wanna do anything. I just wanna… apologize.” 

She rolled her eyes at you, “Keep it. Are you done? I gotta leave soon.”

You were motionless, your hands squeezed into fists in your coat pockets as tears jerked in your eyes and lips quivered. Don’t fucking cry!

Your brain didn’t fight hard enough because she shook her head when you didn’t comment, reaching for the door to slam it in your face. It forced you into action, shoving your arm between the open space to stop the wood from shutting completely. You couldn’t control the panic you felt at the thought of her hating you. You don’t remember the last time you cried like this. 

“A-Abby, please, I’m so sorry, I can’t,” your heaving picked up as you sobbed to her. “I can’t stop thinking a—bout you and I feel awful and I know you hate me, and you s-should but’m so sorr—y. Please, I can’t— “

Abby seemed unsure through your watery gaze, the tensity in her face dropping slowly as she gauged you. You felt her wrap a light hand around your bicep as you broke down, ushering you inside with soft shushes. 

You listened and followed her guide to the couch, taking a seat as you cried out your apologies to her. Your wails overpowered the volume of her coos; She was too fucking nice. 

She stood over your sitting form, her soft, rose-scented hands holding your chin as she massaged the back of your pounding head. “Shhh, stop crying, stop.”

Your eyes met hers, and your heart burned, “M’sorry— “

She sighed, “We’re gonna… we’re gonna talk, okay?” 

You nodded, sniffing harshly. You didn’t deserve her hospitality, and you felt guilty accepting her courtesy. Had you really been so heartless to such a gentle soul?

She hummed, “Want some water?” 

You didn’t answer. 

She took your silence as approval and made her way to the kitchen. 

You calmed down. Slightly. Abby was able to remove your coat and boots without fuss; You were too busy blowing your nose with the soft tissues she handed to you. 

Abby sat next to you on the couch, earrings, coat, and heels removed and slung on the floor near the coffee table. She allowed you to take some sips of your water before she spoke, voice as soft as ever. 

“Okay to talk?” 

You nodded, setting your glass down on the decorative table and using your sleeves to wipe your still wet face. 

You took a deep breath. A few deep breaths, and she let you. 

But when you finally opened your mouth to speak, her phone rang. 

Both your eyes darted towards the coffee table; a contact named DON’T ANSWER read across the screen. Your brows furrowed in confusion, eyes gliding between her and her device. You’ve never seen Abby have a negative reaction towards anyone except you; Who did she not want to answer? 

She sighed heavily, reaching towards her phone to mute the ringing. A few moments of silence passed, and the call ended, but the caller popped up again. 

She tsked, reaching for her device with agitation. She answered it, annoyance evident in her tone. 

“I'm not coming. Stop calling me.” 

Your ears perked with intrigue. Was she meant to meet with someone tonight? She sounded so upset. 

Some distant ramblings came through her earpiece before she shot back at the person she was speaking to, “I don’t care. It’s not up to you!” 

The person got louder with her, the voice masculine. You saw Abby roll her eyes as she listened to the shouts. Why was she getting screamed at?

She spat nastily at the man before hanging up. “Fuck you. Don’t call me anymore tonight.”

She turned her phone off and tossed it onto the longue chair near the TV before turning back to you, the flame in her eyes slowly extinguishing. 

“Sorry,” she breathed awkwardly, massaging her temples. 

You shook your head, “Don’t apologize, I’m in your home. You can do what you want.” 

She hummed at you, her expression suddenly distant. She wasn’t looking at you, but at the hand that rested on your knee. Why was that making your body hot?

“I really came at a bad time, huh?” You huffed.

“Mhm,” she answered before backtracking. “I hate talking to him.” 

You spoke before you could think, “Who was it?”

“My ex.”

Your heart frosted over. 

“H-Husband?”

She nodded slowly, like it brought her shame to admit. You don’t know why that made your stomach churn with something red. Something fiery that you never felt. How long were they still in contact? You knew they weren’t on good terms due to Abby’s past dismissal of your questions about their past, but now you were really confused about where they stood. 

“D’you still talk to him?” 

“You interrogating me?” You stiffened at her tone, darkly sarcastic. Fuck, stop fucking up! 

You shook your head incessantly, “Not at all! Just… yeah, I don’t know why I asked that.” 

“What an honest lawyer,” you saw her lips curl upward into a smirk, and you exhaled a sheepish laugh, your hands squeezing into fists on your lap. She’s fucking gorgeous. 

“Not a lawyer yet.” 

She bit playfully, “Gonna be soon.” 

You made a noise in agreement before silence passed between you.

Abby’s voice made you look up. “We don’t see each other often, my ex and I. Not anymore at least.”

“… Oh. What were you guys going to do tonight?”

Abby shrugged, “Get drunk. Fuck probably.” 

You probably looked calm on the outside, but you felt every organ in your body burn like fire at her admission. You were stiff, your nails digging into your palms as grounding. Why are you getting so fucking pissed over them communicating? The fuck?

You couldn’t help yourself, “How come?” 

“It’s winter. We’re lonely and miss our daughter.” 

You felt like you were dunked into a bottomless tub of ice water. Your brain went into overdrive and your throat closed like you were going to cry again. 

She shook her head like nothing mattered, “Not the best coping mechanism, but.” 

“A-Abby— “

She cut you off, tone hushed, “We shouldn’t meet anymore, but he just… gets it. Gets me and what I’m still going through. I don’t know if I’ll ever fully get rid of him no matter how much I hate his guts.” 

You sat there and listened. This is the most personal conversation you’ve had with Abby since the first time you met. You finally met her eyes, waves of emotion flowing through them like ocean waves; You were here, and you wanted to listen to her. I’m sorry for shutting you down in the past. Please talk to me. 

You placed an encouraging hand on her bare shoulder, and she sighed, her eyes fluttering shut as you squeezed. She was so tired; You recognized exhausted stiffness from anywhere. 

“He’s the only… person I have, honestly. It’s really weird,” she huffed a laugh, rubbing her nose. “We had her alone, we raised her alone, I buried her without him, and now we just… drag each other along in our grief. She died such a long time ago and we’ve made no progress, but I can’t… I can’t leave him.” 

You could hear the pain in her voice as she spoke, and it tore you to pieces. You can’t imagine what the two of them went through after such a grave loss; You knew it was your parents’ biggest fear. You had no idea how to talk her through this wave she was experiencing, but both your hands flew down to grab hers in her lap. You rubbed and squeezed them tight, hoping she would accept your presence again. You have me! I’m here, too. I'm sorry I wasn't before, but I am now. 

She looked down at your locked fingers, shocked at the gesture. She released a shuddered breath and squeezed back, grabbing your hand like you would slip away. 

She continued, her eyes glossy, “We always meet up around this time of year. For anything. For sex, to cry together. We could spend hours yelling and screaming at each other and then walk out of each other’s lives like nothing happened, just to do it all over again. I’m so… fucking tired.”

You shook your head in understanding. She needed comfort, some solace, a distraction just as much as you did, even if it’s only for a second. You wish you knew a better way to appease her emotional needs, but you didn’t. You didn’t know what to say, so you did what you should’ve done a long time ago. 

She confided in you, and you listened to all of it. 

Abby pulled out an expensive bottle of wine some time ago. You couldn’t stop smiling. 

Abby’s laugh was music to your ears, “I can’t believe I fucking did that!”

You shook your head as you beamed at her, “You don’t know how shook I was! I thought I was hallucinating! I don’t know what my cousin put in that fucking blunt, but I was on my ass the rest of the night.” 

You and Abby were facing each other, knees touching on the couch, in hysterics about the… events at the Christmas party. She tossed her expensive watch somewhere earlier, her posture content as she leaned back against the arm of her couch. You thought your first conversation after your argument would be much more unnerving, but you were both at ease and light. And a little tipsy. 

You weren’t sure how long you’d been at her house, but you didn’t want to leave. You’re so glad you came to see her. 

Her hands flew to cover her face, her face burning red, “I’m sorry. Aghh, I fuckin’ cringe. Jesus.”

You shrugged, “Great memories.” 

She hummed in agreement, her head tilting as her eyes wandered all over your face. Your face warmed, “You look pretty with your hair up.” 

She raised a brow at you, “Oh?”

“Um… yes,” you replied sheepishly. 

“I think that’s the first compliment you’ve given me,” she joked, but that made your heart hurt. 

“You’re really pretty, Abby,” you replied instantly, tone quiet as your heartbeat picked up. Her expression softened when she called out your name. 

You shook your head, eyes dropping to your hands in your lap, “I'm really sorry for yelling at you.” 

Her hand came up to lift your chin, “Hey. I’m not upset anymore. We’re gonna be fine, okay?” 

You nodded, eyes flickering between her mouth and eyes. She whispered your name again, thumb caressing your face. 

“Yes?” 

She whispered, inching forward slightly, “… How much trouble would I get in for kissing you right now?” 

Your tummy instantly swirled, and you grinned, “I dunno. A pretty good amount, I think.” 

She moved closer, tongue rolling over her lips as she eyed your mouth. 

Your breath shuddered, hand coming up to grab her wrist. You whispered as your face burned, “Kiss me?”

She snorted. Her nose brushed against yours, a smirk plastered on her face as she sniffed, “Yeah?”

Your core squeezed in approval. Abby released the hold she had on your face, strong arms wrapping around your waist to pull you closer. You followed, straddling her lap, arms looping around her neck. You could see the skirt of her dress riding up from beneath you when she stretched her legs out. She smelled like roses and Barolo. 

“Hi,” she whispered with a grin. 

You smiled back at her, “Hi.”

Her lips brushed against yours, “Kiss me.” 

You cheesed, mischievously pecking her cheek, and she stared at you blankly. You giggled and pinched her squishy cheeks. 

“Kiss me for real,” she scolded lightly. 

You snorted, poking the space where her dimples are, “Mmm, nah. changed my mind, actually.” 

“Oh yeah? Don’t wanna kiss me?” Her voice lowered. 

Goosebumps rose on your skin, but you shook your head at her anyway. Your defenses weakened when her grip tightened on your hips and head dropped, planting soft kisses down the expanse of your neck. You could feel her nails tickling the sensitive skin on your back as she softly caressed you. Your eyes went glossy. 

She mumbled against your neck, “Missed you.”

Your heart fluttered. You breathed, “Really?” 

“Mhm, couldn’t stop thinkin’ about you. Doesn’t matter how much you get on my fucking nerves,” her hands slowly crawled up your waist. 

Fuck, fuck, fuck!

How does she speak her mind so easily?! “Miss—missed you too.”

“Missed me touching you like this?” 

You nodded quickly, and her tongue swiped up the side of your neck. You breathed heavily in her ear, eager to touch her. You pulled back so you could see her face, friskiness dissipating when you connected your lips. She purred in your mouth, lips molding against yours as you grinded on top of her, her red lipstick transferring onto your mouth. 

You grabbed her soft cheeks in your hands, gasping when her hands slid down to grab your ass through your jeans. Her tongue licked into your mouth, and your toes curled in your socks. You missed kissing her so badly. 

She was kissing you stupid, tugging the hair at the back of your head as she sucked your bottom lip. You shakily brought your hands up to her ponytail to undo the elastic, and her locks fell down her back like liquid. Your arms wrapped around her neck to kiss her deeper, pulling tightly at her soft strands. 

She moaned into your mouth, sucking on your bottom lip, “Need some head?”

You nails dug into her shoulders, “Y-You don’t have t— “

She rolled her eyes, “It’s not for you, it’s for me. I was just tryna be polite.” 

Well.

“But I wan—“ 

Her hand came up to grab your chin. Fuck, you love when she does that. “Don’t care what you want actually. Lay down.”

You scurried off her like she was on fire, lying flat on the couch and ripping your sweater over your head, tossing it into the pile on the floor. Abby stood as you unbuttoned her jeans. You secretly watched as she unzipped her dress and allowed it to fall down her body. She was completely bare underneath. Your eyes followed the thin trail of hair that led down to her wet cunt, and it made you hot… in more ways than one; She was on a mission tonight, for sure. 

You shoved your jealousy down; She didn’t owe you anything, especially loyalty. You stared down at your busy hands.

You kicked your jeans off, a sock clumsily catching in your pant leg before they hit the floor. You were not prepared for spontaneous sex at all; One lonesome weed sock, panties with chocolate bars on them, and a gray lounge bra. 

You awkwardly scratched your ear and waited for Abby to move, but she didn’t. You looked up at her and noticed her just… staring at your torso. Her expression was unreadable as she took your body in, but you were about to die from her searing ogle. Your face was torched, even more so when she brought a gentle hand up, hooked her middle and index finger into the band of your bra. 

Her eyes bore into yours, silently asking for permission, and you nodded. She bit her lip, slowly raising the elastic band up your chest until your breasts dropped out. She played with the two of them, dark red nails digging into the soft skin, pinching at your nipples. You couldn’t stop squirming, watching her hand move on your body. You lifted your bra over your head and laid the bundled fabric over the back of the couch. 

“Turn over, baby. Wanna see something,” she barely whispered, patting your thigh encouragingly. 

You listened, flipping onto your hands and knees as she climbed on the couch behind you. You sighed happily when she massaged your ass in both hands, rubbing and pulling at your covered cheeks. You peered over your shoulder to watch her pull your sticky panties to the side. She was eyeing your pussy like she wanted to swallow you whole before her eyes flickered an inch up. She was staring at… 

Oh. Oh. 

You jokingly snarked at her, “Find whatchu lookin’ for?” 

Her eyes pierced through yours before she slapped the fuck out of your ass. Your body jerked forward at the force, eyes squeezing shut and groaning at the seering sting. Your head dropped on the arm of the couch.

She sneered at you, “I still feel some typa way. Be nice.” 

You gasped out, “M’so— “

“You’re sorry,” She squealed out mockingly. “I know. Be still.” 

She yanked your panties down your thighs, “Put your head down.” 

You dropped your head onto your crossed arms in front of you. Her hand rubbed down your spine to deepen your arch, pulling your hips farther up. 

“Hold it open for me, baby.” 

You whimpered and reached down between your legs, spreading the drippy folds of your cunt to expose your clit. You heard her curse behind you before you felt slow massages on your clit. They were so delicate, almost ticklish, and it made you shiver. 

Your walls squeezed down and you heard her moan behind you. She rubbed a bit faster, the soft, squishy noises from your cunt filling the room. You tried to push back on her fingers, but she harshly dug her nails into your hip to hold you still, pulling her fingers away from you. 

“Abby, please— “

She ignored you, prying your lips apart with her thumbs. Her breath hit your cunt as she slurred, “You trust me?” 

You nodded incessantly, “Yeah, baby, trust you, fuck, I trust you— “

Her lips sucked around your clit, and you bucked back on her face with force. She wasted no time, shoving two of her fingers inside you and curling them. She poked and prodded at your walls as she flicked your throbbing bud and holy fuck, you missed her so fucking bad—

You couldn’t help the noises that left your mouth when she hit your spot dead on, your walls milking her fingers with eagerness. You cried out her name as your orgasm pulled from deep within your gut, your fingers curling into fists into her couch cushions. The sounds your cunt made were becoming louder as your moans crescendo, your hips moving on their own accord to get her deeper inside you. 

Her tongue slowed on your clit, slowly licking up towards your entrance and… passed your entrance. She moved up, up, and her wet muscle swiped over your ass—

A sharp gasp shot through you, your head whipping around to face her. On any other occasion, she would’ve halted everything and checked in on you, but her fingers didn’t stop. Her thrusts were harsh and unrelenting, her eyes cutting through you, “Fuckin’ trust me, right?”

You sobbed when she slapped your still burning cheek, nodding your consent with tears streaming down your face. She didn’t hesitate to lick over your hole, her tongue sliding back and forth over the puckered entrance. 

“Abby, fuckfuckfuck, oh fuck— “

She hummed against your hole and your head dropped on the cushions completely, using your bent elbows as leverage to fuck back onto her face. 

She mumbled nastily against you, “Just needa be slutted out, baby? Yeah?” 

You could only whine and sob in reply before the strong squeezes of your orgasm built and built. You were right fucking there you just needed her to—

Her tongue shoved inside you, and your body seized and tensed under the pressure of your orgasm. It wracked through your body in waves as you wailed into the pillows beneath you, both sets of walls contracting through your pleasure. Your cunt milked her fingers with urgency, your juices dripping out of your entrance and down Abby’s wrist. She tongued you through the aftershocks. 

She slowly brought you back down as your pulses slowed, planting a kiss on the back of your thigh before pulling out. Exhaustion took over your body as she helped you get onto your back, your head propped up on the pillows behind you. You kicked your dangling panties off and allowed her to lift your leg over her shoulder. She climbed on top of you, straddling your resting thigh. You looked up at her and… the large vein in her biceps made you shiver. 

“A-Abby?” 

She grabbed your tit, “Hm.”

You whimpered, “Are you a gym rat?”

She snorted, a grin spreading across her pretty face as she massaged the soft skin. “Errr… yes? When I wanna be. Why do you ask?”

Throw me across the room! You eyed her bulging vein, “Nothin’.” 

She smirked down at you, “Mhm.” 

… Did she just flex her bicep what the fuck—

You didn’t even have a chance to think before her pussy rubbed up against yours, and nearly cried when you saw your sopping cunts connect, sighs of satisfaction leaving your mouths when your clits bumped up against each other, bonded by strings of slick. You grabbed her thigh for support, digging your nails into her soft skin as her grinds increased in pace. 

Your throbbing bud jerked with each pass of her hips. You did everything in your power to keep your eyes open so you could watch her: her head was tossed back with her lip between her teeth, her defined stomach tensing and she fucked you. She looked so desperate to cum, to feel so good that she forgets everything. She kept taking and taking like you never allowed her to, and you never wanted it to end. 

“Your pussy feels s’good, shit,” she grinded down on you harder as she gazed at the ceiling. “Gonna make me cum— “

“Cum on me, Abby? Please cum on my pussy?” You whimpered up at her as your eyes grew heavy, and she slumped over the pillows, strong arms holding her up as she used you to fuck herself. She was getting louder, and you were squeezing as your second orgasm approached. Her pussy was hitting you right where you needed, right on your clit and you were about to—

You saw a screen flash out the corner of your eye as your device blared, and the drop of your heart matched the tight grip of your pussy. 

Abby was close, and your dad was calling.

Abby was too deep in her pleasure to notice as she begged you to cum with her, grabbing at your tits and yanking your nipples. Your pleasure kept rising and your phone wouldn’t stop fucking ringing—

“Fuck, baby, oh god, m’cumming!—“

Abby’s scream sent you off, your eyes rolling back, and your core squeezing with all you had to give. She was fucking you so hard through your euphoria, crying your name as you did the same. She was hitting your clit so good, you couldn’t breathe. 

Your ears were ringing so loud that you couldn’t hear the second call coming in, and you didn’t care. Your hips bucked as much as they could to meet hers, helping her ride out her intense orgasm. The harder you pushed up, the more you could feel her pussy pulsating. It sent another wave of pleasure through you. 

The feeling eventually subsided, the contractions in your cunt easing into light jerks. Abby caught her breath before moving off and plopping on top of you as she breathed heavily in your ear. You brought a hand up to rub her scalp, twirling her hair around your index finger as her scent infiltrated your senses. Your phone was finally quiet. 

“Can I fuck your ass?” 

Her heavy exhale made your spine bend. You could feel her smile against your neck. 

You were about to pass out, and it wasn’t from your insomnia. 

Abby carried you upstairs to her bed, and eventually got your legs over her shoulders while she lubricated her deep blue strap… with a slit at the incredibly fat tip? She never used this one with you before. It was veiny, curved, and thick; How the hell was that going to fit in your ass!

You knew one of her darkest secrets was cumming inside of somebody, but you didn’t know she meant it. You couldn’t stop thinking about all the times she moaned about cumming inside you. Knocking you up. She was really going to—

“Stop staring at my dick, it’s rude,” she said blankly. 

Your eyes flickered up to meet hers, “Sorry.” 

She snickered, “I’m kidding, relax.” 

How could you relax when she was jerking off in front of you! Her hands are so pretty on her dick, and you could cry right now because of it!

You squealed when she slapped it on your clit, the silicone getting drenched in her flavored lube and your slick. Your pussy squeezed in anticipation; She was about to destroy your cunt and you couldn’t think, holy shit, you missed her so badly—

She breathed eagerly, “You know what to do, baby.” 

You nodded, reaching down to hold your pussy open for her. She lined her tip up at your entrance, “Need this dick?”

“Fuck yes— “

She cooed, “Yeah? Want me?”

You looked up at her, your head bobbing up and down like you were entranced. You wanted her so much. Too much. The look of pride in her eyes was going to stay in your memory forever. 

“Fucking say it,” she spat.

“Want you inside me, baby, please fuck me!”

She popped the tip in, and you moaned as pleasurable pain rushed through you. She took her time easing into you, allowing you to feel every ridge of her dick against your walls. The veins in the silicone were catching on your walls and it made you squeeze down tight. 

She paused and kissed your ankle, “Ease up, baby. C’mon.” 

“Can’help it, fuck, splittin’ me open,” your tongue felt so large in your mouth. 

“Fuck, missed wrecking this pussy,” she moaned out, staring down at the way your walls choked her length. 

She pushed an inch deeper, and you nearly shouted. 

She smirked, “Right there?”

You were drooling onto your chest as you craned up to watch how you connected. She was pressed right up against the spot that made you see stars, and you felt the beginnings of your orgasm stirring in your gut. 

She pushed inside until she was fully submerged in your juices, your slick coating the entire toy when she pulled out, only to fuck back into you again. She stretched you out until you were grabbing at her hip, trying to pull her deeper into you. She wrapped her arms around both of your calves and drilled in your guts, only pulling out a few inches before shoving back in. 

The power of her thrusts was causing the flowery headboard to bang up against the wall, the soggy noises of your cunt and squeals of pleasure filling the room. She was battering your pussy completely, and you couldn’t do anything to stop her. 

“Pussy’s pushing me out,” she garbled with a limp tongue. “Feel good, baby? Can’t take it?” 

You couldn’t find the strength to respond, nails digging into her soft blankets as she transported you to another dimension, sparkles and glitter exploding behind your eyelids as your unannounced orgasm shook your spirit, “Can feel you cummin’, shit.” 

Her voice was muffled from the ringing in your ears. You could barely register her pulling out and grabbing her girth, quickly rubbing her wet tip on your clit to rub you through your orgasm. You felt speckles of droplets land on your ass and the covers beneath you, eyes crossed in your skull and the taste of copper in your mouth from biting your lip too hard. 

She didn’t let you recover before she released your legs, pinning them down to your chest by the back of your knees, nearly folding you in half and shoving back into your wetness with a disgusting noise.

She bounced you on her cock like a weightless ragdoll, your body shifting up her bed with force. She hit so deep whenever she fucked like this. Her tip was nudging your cervix whenever she dug in deep, the pain plunging into you like a knife as tears filled your eyes and pleasure sizzled all the way down to your toes.

“Gonna cum in this fuckin’ pussy, oh my god— “

You couldn’t help the babbles that came from you, drooly yesyesyesyess’ coming from you, “Yeah, baby? Need me to fill your pussy up?”

You nearly passed out at the thought of her stuffing you, your orgasm built until it crashed into you, snatching the wind in your body as you let out a quiet scream. Your lashes were fluttering, and spit was sliding down your cheek, completely dumb under her. 

And then you felt a thin stream of liquid shoot inside your pulsing cunt. You swore you flatlined. 

Your orgasm only intensified at the feeling of her creaming inside you, her gross whispers making the hairs on your arms stand, “Gonna knock this slutty cunt up and send you home filthy. Want you drippin’ with it.” 

You nodded brainlessly; You’d do whatever she wanted as long as she kept fucking and filling you. Another harsh stream exploded inside you, and your juices sprayed on her lap. You went limp under her, letting her move and toss you around how she pleased. You were getting so fucking tired, but you didn’t want her to stop. 

She gave one last deep grind, poking your cervix one last time before pulling out, her gaze dropping to watch her seed spill out of your battered cunt. She pushed your legs down even further, knees nearly hitting your head as she lined her dick up at your ass, “Would marry this pussy, swear to god. It takes dick so good.” 

You only released a choked noise in approval; She could have you however she wanted! 

Her pretty brow arched cockily, “You like that? Like when I make this pussy mine?”

You shook your head so fast. It’s yours, baby! It’s all yours!

She barely pushed forward, her tip nudging your other entrance, making you squeal, “Is this mine too?” 

“Fuck yes, s’yours, baby!”

She popped in, and you sobbed. You need this, you need this, you need her—

Tears ran down to your neck as you cried, her gentle shushes caressing your ear drums like symphonies, “Such a good girl, doing so good for me, just a little more, okay?” 

You couldn’t stop moaning at the foreign sensation, “G-Gimme all of it, oh my fuckin’ god—“

“… You sure?”

She paused, only a couple inches inside as she gauged you. The gentle aura you're so used to finally returned as she massaged your thighs comfortingly, and your heart swelled. 

You spoke in one breath, “Fuck my ass, Abby, please. S’gonna make me cum again— “

“Tell me if I’m— “

“Please, baby, s’gonna hurt s-so good, gimme— “

“Okay, baby shhh, I gotchu,” she hushed you, quickly grabbing the discarded bottle of lube at your side and squeezing a messy quantity over your pulsating entrance. She tossed it somewhere and pushed in deeper, the burn sending hot shockwaves to your brain. How were you about to cum there’s no way you’re going to cum—

“A-Abby, fuck me, fuckme— “

She was whimpering with you, still pressing in, “Don’t wanna hurt you baby, shit— “

“Fuck me harder, m’so close!”

Your eyes squeezed shut when she pushed the last few inches in, sitting deep in your ass, and you came so hard. You could hear her moaning with you as she grinded you out. The cum that sat deep in your cunt was pulsing out of you with each clench, dripping down to your filled ass and coating her. You forced your eyes open so you could watch her, eyes burning with lust and her toned body drenched in sweat. 

She brought a hand down to your pussy and shoved two fingers in, curling and hitting your spot at a vigorous pace. The squelches were so loud over your pleased shouts, and you squirted all over her hand, some droplets splattering on your chest and chin. 

She yanked her fingers out to pat and spank your throbbing clit before pushing your legs back up, pulling out slowly before shoving her entire length back into you. 

Abby has never been this aggressive during sex, but she was slapping you, fucking you deep and hard, spitting on your face from where she towered over you, and you took all of it like she was paying you. Your ass was rippling on her cock, trying to make space for her cock so it could suck her in deeper. You couldn’t stop squirting, both your cum dripping out of both your holes. 

Gonna cum so hard in this ass, oh my fuckin’ god, you feel so good.

It’s mine? Say it’s mine.

Look at that dirty fucking pussy. Nasty cumslut. You love being my fucking worthless whore, don’t you? 

Just needa turn that pretty brain off? Yeah? Need me to take care of you? Fuck you stupid? 

You were thrown into one long, constant orgasm and she talked you through it. You clawed at her ass and sheets and your own tits to keep yourself grounded but it wasn’t working. You were getting her so wet, a large puddle forming underneath you as your body jerked away from her. But she held you down, made you take what she gave, made you see god. You felt so fucking good that it almost pained you. 

You could hear her moans increase in volume, not bothering to pull out as she grinded deep inside you. You knew she was close, riding her harness into completion. You used the only strength you had to turn your head to the side, making eye contact with yourself in her large dresser mirror. You looked fucked up, but you watched yourself cum before staring at Abby’s reflection. 

Her eyes were squeezed shut as she bucked into you quickly, her tits and fat on her ass shaking in the mirror. You could hear her whispering makemecummakemecum over and over again, and you shuddered when another spurt of liquid left you. 

Cum in my ass, cum in me filled your brain like a mantra.

You fought to keep your eyes open, watching the muscles in her body tighten up before she yelled out, screaming how hard she was cumming and how good your ass sucked her cum in. A line of spit left her mouth and landed on your thigh as she shuddered through her pleasure, and you felt her jizz fill your ass, the second load much larger than the first. It felt so fucking good. 

Another orgasm rushed through as you both screamed in pleasure. You tried to meet her grinds, pushing down to get her squirting dick even deeper inside. 

Abby dropped your legs and they instantly wrapped around her waist as she fell forward, resting her full weight on you as she rode out her orgasm. Her moans of your name didn’t stop, and it felt like you both were cumming for hours. She filled and filled you like you were milking her dry, draining her completely and it made you cum again. Your arms wrapped around her neck to pull her close, nails digging into the flexing muscles in her back and leaving red trails.

She screamed out a warning of another orgasm right before her body trembled on top of you. Her dick wasn't bursting in you anymore; Why did that make you sad?

Her grinds eventually slowed into twitches as you both came down. She was planting gentle kisses and sucks on your neck, her hands coming down to rub the soreness from your thighs as you massaged her scalp. 

You made sure to keep your eyes open so you wouldn’t drift off into dreamland. 

After Abby pulled out and cleaned you up, she rummaged through her underwear drawer and pulled out a Marlboro box and lighter. 

… Why were you horny again? 

Her wet, semi-leaking dick was still strapped around her waist, her now scarred backside facing you as she stuck the orange end between her lips and ignited it. You watched her through the mirror, her body instantly relaxing as she puffed silently. You looked like a cat in heat. 

She looked up and stared back at you in the reflection, taking the smoke between her index and middle finger, exhaling around her words. 

“What’re you looking at?”

You shrugged and smiled like a ditz. She shook her head at you before sticking the butt in her mouth, undoing the adjusts and stepping out of her dick. She picked it up, eyes flickering awkwardly before throwing it in her hamper. You giggled quietly.

She ashed her cig over her small trash can, before looking at you, “Come shower?”

Your heart pounded in your chest like she didn’t just obliterate your pussy and ass. You consented in silence. 

You could hear her laughing as you hobbled to the bathroom, “I coulda carried you, y’know.” 

You flipped her off. 

After washing, Abby just… held you. 

The water was still beating down on the two of you, her head resting on your shoulder as she rubbed your back. And you did the same. 

You felt so relaxed, and everything was quiet in your head, the lavender scent of her body wash surrounding the two of you. You could’ve fallen asleep right here. 

Her hushed tone surprised you. 

“Are you leaving tonight?” 

Your heart shredded to pieces at her nervous tone. She sighed in relief at your whisper. 

“No, Abby. I’m not.” 

You didn’t know what would happen when you returned home, but for now, you relished in her warm embrace as you nodded off onto her shoulder. 

You didn’t sleep alone. 

OOHHHHH im ovulating LOL 

anal whores this one’s for y’all😞😞

taggie waggies :3 @ohlawdthebirds @fibrogirlie @unangelic-thoughts @chrry1ovr @uraesthete @gravygranules @digit4lslut @machetegirl109 @letsreadsomesins-shallwe @macaroni676 @sillygooselit @nil-eena @elliesgirlll @hi2647 @fr0thycoffee @mai5mai @sweet-lover-girl

prologue. part one. part two. part three. interlude.

[delicatetigerobject]

i love this show too much so I'm ranting/venting about that so you don't have to read, I just wanted to tell someone about this

this was made because nobody wants to listen to me infodump about stranger things! its a bit long tho

Im legitimately so excited for the season five trailer to drop. Like so excited. I cant wait to look for blue and yellow, i cant wait to write down what will and mike say, i cant wait to search through it for byler evidence and write it down and take photos. I cant wait to watch it with the sound off and then the sound on. I cant wait for it bro i want to see it i dont know when the trailer will drop but i CANNOT FUCKING WAIT!! I haven't even finished season four yet and im rewatching season one already. Idk i just felt the need to talk about this because i want to scream and jump up and down and explode and it makes me so happy to think about it sometimes, i love this show so much. When the trailer for season five comes out, im going to watch it silently first without captions to see the emotions in the scene, then ill watch it with captions but no sound to see what theyre saying, then with sound and captions to hear their emotions and see them. Im going to experience it layer by layer and then probably rewatch it to spot any details i miss.

Idk this might seem like too much but AGGHHHHHH I LOVE THIS SHOW SO MUCH PLEASE YOU MUST UNDERSTAND. LIKE ITS MY FAVORITE THING IN THE WORLD RIGHT NOW, I kid you not. It’s the ONLY show I watch, and it’s all I can draw. I don’t know if I’ll still like it in a month, or next year, or in a decade, but right now, it is the thing i look forward to most each day, ive annoyed my sister to death talking about it. Every time i see the number seven or someone says seven. I think of byler. If i see blue and yellow. I think of byler. Minecraft makes me think of stranger things. This hyperfixation is becoming a problem now, but it brings me so much joy. I cant wait for season five, i cant wait for the trailer for it, i cant wait to see how they finish the show. I feel so truly happy when i look at a good meme of it, i actually laugh at them and it makes me smile so huge. I dont watch the show every day, but i draw byler during class and i look at theories and memes and art whenever im bored. I just really cant wait for the season five trailer, i cant wait for the theories, for the analyses, for the fan art, for the possible edits, for the other people excited about it. I dont think i have any byler doubt right now, i think its set up too perfectly for it to happen and in such a well made show that it would be just too unfulfilling if it doesnt happen, it would ruin so much of it.

Its sometimes crazy to me that i haven't even been watching this show for half a year yet, because i care so much about it. I dont know what id do if i lost it, if it ceased to exist, if i couldnt ever watch it again. idk , i might just be feeling more strongly than usual about it right now, but i absolutely adore this show and everything in it. I love every season and every episode i watch makes me want to die of happiness. I love each and every piece o byler evidence you guys find, and i hope that you know that even the simplest of byler shitposts bring me so much joy. I am shaking as i type this, i have no clue what to do right now because i feel so strongly about this. Stranger things and byler hold an incredibly special place in my heart right now, and i just really had to tell that to somebody i guess.

Sorry if this is repetitive, its just my literal favorite thing ever. I go to sleep thinking of this show and i wake up and think about it. I know itll end, but i really cant wait for that, either. I want to see the conclusion, i want to see how they wrap up the stories of the characters and i want to see what ends they leave loose for us if any, and the fanfictions will be so wonderful im sure of it. I will read them until my eyes hurt, even if theres typos, even if theyre sad, especially if theyre sad, even if they have the worst punctuation ive ever seen. I think im done for now tho, i need to go lie down on the floor for a bit and try to calm down. Byler endgame, im sure of it. And if its not. Well. then to be completely honest? I may cry, and i will definitely read alternate ending fanfics. Same goes for if will or mike die, im very attached to mike’s character. This show has made me so happy, and i love that i get to share it with you all. Anyway im done for real now, i seriously need to lie down and take a break to calm down

[future-dregs]

Alright I'm just gonna go ahead and ramble on for a little bit about a fic I read last night cause I've been thinking about it nonstop since and it made me dream about pregnant Dean all night.

So when I started the fic it had some stuff tagged that I wasn't really into (a/b/o, forced pregnancy) but I figured I could uhh get in get out get off before all that happened because it did have the thing I was looking for (lactation on Dean's part and the pickings for that are slim). Well, I couldn't, and it wouldn't have mattered anyways because I was hooked on the story (did not realize it was incomplete until too late but it ended well enough). (I do want to say that the fic was tagged well, and I'm not trying to complain about or drag the author, I was given a heads up and I decided to read it, a genre who's rules I'm not familiar with, so I'm not complaining, I'm just trying to sort out how I feel and why its sunk into me so)

And its difficult because it was GOOD, it was written well, but Sam especially was acting so strange. I guess he was taken over by his alpha hormones but still. He wants to have a baby with Dean so badly, but Dean very adamantly does not want this and has a three tiered system to keep himself from getting pregnant and he will not talk with Sam or elaborate on why he doesn't want this which Sam doesn't understand because as an omega he's supposedly hardwired to want babies and once he has one he'll be happy about it and Sam wants one (or six) so badly so why NOT?

But Dean says no and he's been saying no so Sam ends up swapping out his birth control for placebos and pricking holes in all the condoms.

.....sam....

Now, the author did not finish the story, and though the author did start setting things up so that there would be a consequence, as it stands no one finds about what Sam has done. Dean thinks the birth control failed the one time he let Sam hit it raw (he was already pregnant at that point it was just early and he didnt know it yet), not that he was raped dozens upon dozens of times.

So Sam gets his baby and Dean starts getting swamped by omega hormones and wanting another one and begins to start working through his trauma around pregnancy and children and the story ends.

What trauma? Well, when Sam was at Stanford, Dean got pregnant by some rando in bar and had a baby girl. Who died. Months later. SIDS. And naturally he's fucking distraught by this and he didnt even have a picture or birth certificate or anything cause he gave birth in a fucking motel so of course he doesn't want to go through that again and does everything he can to prevent it. And Sam doesn't find this out until months away from Dean's due date cause Dean DIDNT WANNA TALK ABOUT IT and he doesn't wanna keep the baby cause he's terrified of finding it dead but Sam is livid because that's their baby and how could Dean possibly expect him to be okay with them giving it up ect ect ect.

But when Sam does find o uh t why Dean has been so upset this whole time, he's shocked. Which like, yes its suprising but c'mon man extrapolate! Obviously SOMETHING happened you dont know all about but he's just like I've been Dean's only alpha so he's just being difficult and stupid no reason.

Anyways when does all come out Dean is a wreck, he's sobbing and distraught and Sam is just like "well it'll be better this time and then you'll feel better" and freaking out that somebody else's Dean baby might be running around out there in the world ......motherfucker 😑

Dean of course says no, that years later it still hurts just as much as it ever has and he doesn't want to go through this again Sam but Sam manages to soothe him somehow and Dean has the baby and of course loves it and happily ever after.

And of course it ended before Dean found out WHY he got pregnant in the first place so he IS happy (though he's still not sleeping hardly at all cause he's watching the baby the whole time to make sure he keeps breathing)

And I had more questions, anatomy wise, but this isnt a genre I'm familiar with, I dont know the rules so I'll just keep them to myself I think though I will say one thing-

Once Dean got pregnant his scent changed, okay makes sense. Only alpha's could smell it, sure. And it drove them nuts and made them want to mate him, WAIT.

Now again, this isnt a genre who's rules I know, but shouldn't pregnancy scent be offputting? There's another alpha's baby growing in this person, so shouldn't it be like...anger inducing, rather than an aphrodisiac? Like, I realize these are people not animals but its pulling from animal behavior right? So in some animals, another males babies are sometimes either ostracized or outright killed by the new male leader so a pregnant omega should either be so marked up and claimed so as to be off limits and almost invisible to other alphas, or the added scent of the baby should make other alphas more hostile, even if they don't act on it or want to behave in this way. It's too late to breed this person, so why does it make them want to do it even MORE now?

Idk I think because the fic is incomplete its sticking with me so much, because I'm imaging how it COULD turn out? Idk. It's only been a night, but I've been gnawing on this nonstop so I wanted to talk about it a bit.

[crocodilenjoyer]

op fic recs

dont tell my professors.

on my way to believing by nervermordor | g | romance dawn arc | vaguely zoluna, nami-centric | 8.5k words | complete

A head pops up on the other side of Straw Hat; the last of the fading sunlight refracts off Roronoa’s earrings, winking at her. “Oh,” he says, sounding only mildly surprised to see her. “You’re here too.”

“What are you talking about? What’s going on?”

Roronoa grins. “Yeah. He does this.”

Nami props herself up a little higher on her already bruising elbow. Straw Hat’s got an arm wrapped around Roronoa, same as her, pinning him to his other side.

“Okay,” Nami says, feeling her third headache in as many hours beginning to creep up. “What is this?”

“How he sleeps, I guess. Been doing it since we started sailing together.”

“You’re joking.”

Roronoa shrugs.

“Well, how do we get him to let go?”

“Dunno. Haven’t figured that part out yet,” Roronoa says and then, because he’s no help at all, lays back down.

migratory animals by donutsandcoffee | t | ambiguous setting, roughly enies lobby-onwards | zosan | 1.4k | complete

Sanji is carefully placing a cherry on top of the ice cream, his hands nimble, soft, almost—gentle. But all Zoro sees is the way the hems of his pants are still soaked in blood from an earlier skirmish with a marine ship, red seeping into the cracks on the floorboard, spattering across the kitchen floor in a slow drip, drip, drip.

Zoro stares, fascinated. He can’t bring himself to look away.

(Or, Zoro and Sanji—terrible monsters, in love)

trouble is a friend of mine by taizi | t | ambiguous setting, sometime from wci to post-wano-ish | gen, straw hats, sanji-centric | 3.1k | complete

“I don’t buy it,” Pete retorts. “Someone like you? Some cook from East Blue? You’re probably worth a couple hundred thousand bellies at best, maybe a million, if your captain’s somebody.”

Sanji tilts his head back so that it rests against the dirty wall behind him. He’s still upright, somehow, through sheer stubbornness or spite. He doesn’t look like someone who only has tonight left to live. In fact, he looks sharp. There’s no better word for it. His expression is still as peaceable as it has been since he arrived, but watching him is like watching a knife slide out of its sheath. He is, abruptly, dangerous. A tool made for cutting.

“If you knew where I’ve been, you would be terrified of me,” he says.

stolen things by Origamidragons | t | roughly enies lobby-onwards | namivivi | 2.8k | complete

A catalogue of things stolen by, for, and from Princess Vivi of Alabasta with regards to a certain thief, as documented by her long-suffering captain of the guard.

see hope rise with the tide by Origamidragons | t | pre-canon with info from fishman island | gen, nami & jinbe | 3.2k | complete

“If you’re looking for Arlong, he’s inside,” she says, pointing at the monstrous building. Jinbe doesn’t look away from her, from the bruise over her eye. She can’t be older than thirteen or fourteen. Her fingers are worn red and raw. As he watches, a drop of blood drips to the ground.

A girl, with reddish hair and exhausted eyes and a ragged, forced smile, and it’s Koala but it’s not.

(Jinbe goes to check in on his brother, and finds some things that need to be set right.)

ocean breathes salty. by novks (thychesters) | t | ambiguous setting, post-timeskip | zolu | 2.7k | complete

“Do you think you can bench press me?” Luffy asks, interrupting him in the middle of a crunch, and Zoro pauses and says, “yeah, sure.”

now here you come by mugibaras (psalter) | e | set around ch. 956/ep. 957 | mishanks | 6.6k | complete

There’s a tightening feeling low in Shanks’ stomach as his gaze follows those long fingers wrap around the neck of the bottle, the candlelight lancing over a sharp cheekbone. Mihawk is terrifying before he is beautiful, but Shanks isn’t afraid of him, and Mihawk is so fucking pretty. The dim glow filtering in through the windows is beginning to tinge warm, reminding Shanks that they’re on borrowed time; he glances at the clock and decides. He reaches over before Mihawk can straighten and curls his fingers around the shell of his ear.

“Hey.”

Mihawk stills and looks at him from the corner of his eye, barely turning his head. The bottle is in his hand, and Shanks trails his fingers down Mihawk’s jaw to take the liquor from him and set it down on the table.

“Wanna bang?”

But Patience Boasts by Augment | t | post-wci | zolu and tagged as "sanji/the concept of love" | 9.4k | complete

Sanji and Zoro have very different love languages.

Standards by taizi | nr, probably g | post-timeskip | gen, straw hats | 2.4k

"You aren't planning on bringing that boy in with you tomorrow night, are you? Our restaurant has certain standards."

(In which the Straw Hats set out to prove their captain meets certain standards; whether he likes it or not.)

The Marks You Choose to Bear by ThisCat | g | post-timeskip, small reference to info from wci | gen, straw hats | 5.3k | complete

Usopp gets his hands on a tattoo machine.

Soon after, he gets his hands all over his crew.

as the world goes on its wicked way by taizi | t | ambiguous setting, post-zou | gen, straw hats, luffy-centric | 5.4k | complete

When they’re on the forecastle, with the helm just behind them and the figurehead casting them further in shadow, Usopp calls, “Raise the sails!”

Luffy’s gasp next to his ear is the best part of his entire day. 

The sails unfold in a great rolling crash of canvas. Even the striped gaff swings out, catching the wind. The whole sloop gives a powerful lurch as if she’s eager to sprint out of port on the back of whatever gale blows along next. 

And painted on the foresail, bold and bright and proud, is a grinning Jolly Roger in a yellow straw hat. 

“That’s mine,” Luffy whispers, hushed and awed. 

“Told you so,” Usopp says smugly. 

Lost in Translation by HyperbolicReverie | t | wano arc | gen, zoro-centric | 4.4k | complete

Ever since he'd left home, people had not stopped asking Zoro about his accent.

Or, the reason Zoro was allowed to wander around alone in Wano.

poly philtatos (the most loved by far) by swordsmans | t | post-fishman island, spoilers through wano | zolu, straw hats, zoro-centric | 24.8k | complete | MCD as a framing device

He keeps moving forward at a steady pace, resisting the urge to run because how fucking embarrassing would that be, running because he missed them, and as he breaks through the treeline he shouts, “Oi, oi—what took you guys so long? It's been—”

And then he freezes, because yes, actually—something is very, very wrong.

The Sunny is anchored just off shore, close enough to see the deck but far enough away that the crew has had to take the Mini Merry to make land. Scattered across the beach in various stages of chaos—rolling around, yelling, fighting—are his crew but not his crew, so similar and yet so, so different. They look younger, fresher, and whatthefuck there, on the deck of the Sunny just peering over the railing, he catches a flash of green—his own green hair—

“Ah, fuck,” he grunts, and then immediately turns back around because no, actually, he does not want to deal with this.

informal swordfighting, and the sorts by naturecalls111 | e | modern au, canon setting n/a | zosan | 6.5k | complete

It’s been a while since Sanji has gotten some action, which is the only reason why Zoro’s deplorable, barely-there attempt somehow works. Obviously.

got all my attention fixed on you (and you're just where you said you'd be) by nevermordor | g | pre-enies lobby | zolu | 7.5k words | complete

Luffy looks again at the bitemarks that he left on Zoro’s wrist. Zoro’s usually hurt, one way or another. Sometimes it’s definitely been Luffy’s fault too, but the bitemarks feel different. They ain’t like normal bruises or cuts. There’s something about seeing the shape of his teeth in Zoro’s skin. Something about the colors, the slightly paler insides of Zoro’s wrists, and the blueness of his veins, and the dark pink color of where Luffy bit him.

riptide by nevermordor | gen | post-alabasta | zolu | 6.7k | complete

Luffy unhinges his jaw and crams an entire breakfast ham down his throat. He chews reflectively a moment and then demands,

“Zoro, you wanna have a date tonight?”

Zoro answers by inhaling the rest of his orange juice through his nose and promptly spewing it everywhere.

“That a yes?”

--

Luffy and Zoro destroy a restaurant, end up lost, get in a bar fight with a bunch of pirates and go on their first date. Not necessarily in that order.

gather up all of the crew (it's time to ship out) by wildparsnip | t | post-arlong park | gen, east blue quintet | 3.5k | complete

“Sanji! It’s lunchtime, right? Now? Soon? Now, right?”

His legs are tight around Sanji’s waist and his arms have come around Sanji’s chest and crossed, grabbing the opposite shoulders, the whole length of his chest pressed tight and close. Sanji can feel the vibration when he talks, the snap of the rubber resonating in his bones.

Luffy’s hair is tickling the back of his neck.

The whole thing is – it’s –

For a long second Sanji is frozen.

“Sanji?”

It feels –

(The Straw Hat Pirates set sail in the East Blue.)

the hand that thieves by Origamidragons | t | pre-canon | gen, crocodile-centric | 2.8k | complete | cw brief ableism

If he gets caught stealing again, if he loses his other hand, he’ll never be a pirate. Never be anything besides a crippled beggar, pleading for scraps.

If he doesn’t steal, he’ll starve.

giving value to survival by yohoapirateslifeforme | t | pre-canon to shells town | gen, zoro-centric | 11k words | complete

Despite the fluid nature of his ambition, Zoro himself rarely changes: principles, directions, appearance. And when he does, he makes sure it's under the heavy influence of both long-term irritation and a healthy dose of the nearest hard liquor.

Or, Zoro is trans, surgeries cost money, and there's little to no verified adult supervision in his life.

a glance that holds the world and all its seas by JacknessofHearts | t | fishman island arc | sanuso | 6.4k | complete

“God, again?!” Usopp looks down at Sanji who's sitting against a column and tilting his head back while pressing a tissue against his bleeding nose.

“Shu' ub,” Sanji growls. Or, he tries to. It sounds rather unimpressive.

“You're terrible,” Usopp says but he can't hold back the fond smile that's been blooming all over his face again and again ever since he's stepped foot on the Sunny after returning to Sabaody.

*

It's the big party after defeating Hody Jones. Usopp gets Sanji away from all the mermaids. (Honestly, Sanji, these nosebleeds are disgusting.)

[eomayas]

love without tragedy • jww

pairing: mafia!wonwoo x f!reader

genre: angst, mafia au

synopsis: what is it called when he wont be your boyfriend but acts like he is?

warnings: swearing. mean wonwoo. toxic realtionship. reader is in her early twenties, its unspecified how old wonwoo is but he is older. reader slaps wonwoo

a/n: helloooo i cant get wonu out of my mind so here is a little drabble. he is really mean in this story but thats not how i see my man its just for the purpose of the plot 😭💕

the look he's giving you is enough to make you tremble. you've never felt fear around wonwoo—his job is inherently scary and dangerous, but you've never felt fear of him, though right now that is being put to the test. a cold shiver runs down your spine as he stares at you from across the room. you wish there was an island of distance between the two of you, and not a measly coffee table.

"w-we were j-just dancing," you try, wringing your hands together in front of you. he scoffs through his nose and smirks, but its not sweet. there is malice behind it, like he thinks you're pathetic.

"that's what we're calling it?"

sure, maybe you did do more than dance with jun. maybe he had his hand on your leg and you let him inch it up your dress. and maybe you let him kiss you a couple of times. and sure, they were on the lips, sometimes on the neck. and maybe jun ran in the opposing gang in the city, so you made yourself and your fathers mob a target, which inherently puts wonwoo in the middle of it as well. but can he really blame you? wonwoo won't go out with you, always says its not safe for you to be seen with him. what he's really saying, is that he doesn't want your father—his boss—to find out.

wonwoo stares at you, his nostrils flared and his jaw set. whats making all of this worse, is that he hasn't even yelled yet. anger is practically seeping from his pores, but hes not yelling. "well, you wont go out with me!" you exclaim, throwing your hands up.

"so you go and fuck around with somebody from the other side, all because i wont take you out?" he scoffs at you again as your bottom lip trembles. "you really are a spoiled brat, you know that?"

"don't call me that," you frown at him and he shrugs at you, unfazed by your emotional state and the words he's saying to you. other than the fact that you were kissing the opposition, you don't know why he cares so much—there are plenty of other men that work for your father that can handle this.

"its what you are—you think you can have whatever you want, whenever you want," he says bitterly.

your frown deepens, and you almost threaten telling your father, but you know he'll just call you childish. its what he always does when you two argue about something stupid and you pull the dad card. "you're not even my boyfriend, so i don't know why you give a shit," wonwoos nose twitches at the B-word, and you know you've struck a nerve. if theres a couple ways to get under his skin, its to threaten him with your dad and point out the truth to him. "im not yours to worry about. there are plenty of people who do that anyway."

when he doesnt say anything, you keep going. "and so what if jun is with the other side? he doesn't seem to mind being out with me—something you can't handle! you won't even be my boyfriend, so what i do, and who i do it with, is none of your fucking concern."

"watch your fucking mouth, y/n," you're visibly taken aback at his words and his tone. wonwoo rarely, if ever, swears at you. he'll swear in your everyday conversations, but its never towards you. not even when you swear at him, like right now, does he ever do it back.

staring at him with wide eyes, a million thoughts race through your head, the first one being: when did i start being afraid of him? "dont talk to me like that," you say, a slight tremor in your voice.

"don't pull that card now, you've been cussing at me all night," wonwoo spits, puffing his chest out. "that's that spoiled brat shit i'm talking about! you think the entire fucking world revolves around you, but it doesn't!" you can't handle his sudden change in temperament, and your hands ball into fists at your sides.

"quit fucking talking to me like that."

"i'll talk to you how i want to talk to you-" the slap happens before you even realize what you've done, your feet carrying you over to him on autopilot. its not until you pull your hand away from his cheek that you register what you've done, the hurt on his face.

anger flashes on his features, and you have a split second to panic. you tense up, waiting for him to yell at you, but instead he only takes a deep breath and shifts his gaze away from you. "wonwoo..." you whisper, bringing your finger tips up to touch your lips. a red mark in the vague shape on your hand spreads across his pale cheek, and you swallow the lump in your throat. "wonwoo, i..." you trail off, because you don't know how to finish that sentence—you are far from sorry, feeling vindicated because, in your eyes, he did deserve it.

wonwoo runs a hand over his face and opens his mouth, but rethinks and closes it into a thin line. shaking his head, he shrugs on his jacket and grabs his belongings from your coffee table. he slips past you wordlessly and your eyes trail him as he walks out of your apartment, a sort of darkness settling over the room as you're left to stand alone.

wonwoo doesn't call, and after the fifth day you start to lose your mind. the day after the incident, you hardly thought about him, and when you did, it made you angry. the second day, you started to feel his absence, but it wasn't nearly as violent as it feels right now. the tears started on the third day, and haven't stopped. its only now that the guilt has settled in, your dry phone practically taunting you every time that you touch it.

"kwannie, i miss him!" you moan, burying your face into a pillow and letting out a scream. your best friend, seungkwan, gently pats your head and you sigh, turning your head to the side to look at him. "do you think he'll call?"

seungkwan presses his lips into a line and glances around his bedroom. "y/n, you slapped him," he reminds you, making you wrinkle your nose. "and you haven't apologized yet. i would't want to talk to you either."

"okay, but he deserved it! he was being disrespectful!"

"but you put your hands on him. you should have let, like, mingyu or somebody—if not your dad—deal with him," seungkwan says, referring to another one of your fathers men. and seungkwan is right; even though mingyu and wonwoo are friends, you know that his loyalty to your father comes first, which means that you come first. any of his men could have handled it adequately.

sighing, you sit up and hug the pillow to your chest. "he is so..." you groan into the pillow and hold it there for a few seconds. wonwoo is a piece of work. he's quiet and hard to read at times, and can't always give you a clear answer on what the two of you have. he says things that hurt your feelings. but he's also a confidant, your protector, while being something similar to a boyfriend. you trust him more than you trust yourself at times, and sometimes what you feel for him is so intense you wonder if you're making it all up.

its hard to trace when your realtionship with wonwoo began. you've known him since you were 20 years old, him appearing seemingly out of nowhere one day when you came home for a weekend in college. he introduced himself politely, but hardly asked about you or offered any information about himself. you went back to campus with your brain on him and him only. it wasn't until that summer that you saw more of him, but you two hardly interacted. he was always around but never quite where you needed him. your paths hardly ever crossed, unless it was the rare times you happened to be passing by him in the hallway or kitchen. a few months later, when you were home for winter break, you ran into him early in the morning. you'd just come back from a work out and ran into him in the kitchen. he was leaned up against the island, tapping away on his phone and he looked up when he heard your footsteps. you spoke first, saying good morning and asking him how he’s been. he returned the conversation and from there, every time you saw him you two at least spoke.

from then on, you exchanged numbers. he’d text you sporadically, checking in on you and asking you about your classes, life, etc. the texts turned to phone calls, late into the night when you were tucked in and he was just getting home from whatever job he’d finished. he never really told you what he did, but you knew. when you’d ask, he’d just say he handled something for your father, almost like he was trying to protect you from his reality, but you knew—you’d grown up around this lifestyle from birth. the calls started getting longer too, going from ten minutes, to thirty, and then for an hour, sometimes more. you’d talk about any and everything, so late into the night that you’d hardly get sleep sometimes, nearly missing class or dozing off during lectures. but you didn’t care, as long as you got to talk to wonwoo.

for spring break that year, you didn’t plan to come home, having plans to go out of town with your friends. b ur you cut your trip short by two days, and came home instead. everybody was surprised to see you, especially your father who wasn't expecting you. you just lied and told him you wanted to surprise him, but that was far from the truth. you were itching to see wonwoo, even if only for a few minutes because of his other duties. it was hours before you finally got to see him, and when you did it was late. you were hot tubbing, and you heard the backdoor open, his dark figure emerging. you called out to him and he walked to the edge of the hot tub, squatting down in front of you. your heart was racing as he looked down at you, and you got goosebumps despite being in warm water. not much was said between the two of you, but it was like there was an electric current flowing between the two of you. you asked him about his day, and he gave you the answer he gives you all the time: "it was a day." and then he asked you, and you said: "better." as in, better now that he's here in front of you. you raised your body out of the water a bit, the water coming up to the bottom of you ribcage. wonwoo shamelessly checked you out, his tongue poking the inside of his cheek. you moved to the edge of the tub, standing directly in front of him, his eyes darting between your bikini clad chest and your eyes. you stood up taller, this time most of your body coming out of the water, to get as close as possible to his face without touching him. he asked you: "do you know what you're doing?" to which you replied: "im positive i know what i'm doing." and then you kissed him, pressing your wet body against his extremely dry and clothed one, your hands gripping the edge of the hot tub. he kissed you with a hunger that made you breathless, and you gripped the front of his black jacket, nearly yanking him into the hot tub with you. when you pulled back to look in his inky dark eyes, you knew you were a goner.

letting out a breath, you let go and drag your hands over your face, closing your eyes. "i just don't get him sometimes," for nearly two years, you have been playing a sick game of cat and mouse with him. you think you have him, and then he'll say something to remind you that you in fact, don't. but he always has you, as much as it pains you to admit it. "h-he says he can't be my boyfriend. but when i try to go out—if i even look at another man—he goes crazy. kwan, i don't even know how he knew where i was. i didn't tell him i was going out."

seungkwan swallows and avoids your eyes. you glare at him, trying to meet his gaze. "seungkwan."

"yes?"

you hold eye contact for a second before he quickly looks away, and you gasp. "seungkwan, what the fuck!" you shout, jumping off of your bed. he holds his hands up in surrender, his eyes wide and pleading.

"y/n, i'm sorry! but he called me randomly, and said that you weren't answering! and he knew i wasn't with you because i picked up the phone, and i swear i wasn't going to tell him, but..." seungkwan trails off and you scoff, shaking your head.

"but what?"

"but... you know wonwoo: he's intimidating. and i don't want any problems with him. i'm really sorry, y/n. but i felt like i had no choice."

you frown at seungkwans words, the gears in your head turning. he had no choice? "did he threaten you?" you ask your best friend, your stomach churning. seungkwan... he's not like the rest of them. his father is also a mob leader and does dealing with your own father, which is how you two know each other. he is your longest and first friend. seungkwan isn't involved in any mob activities per his mother, who made it known that his father was not to involve her only son in any of that business. everybody knows to leave seungkwan alone, that he's like you: off limits. but clearly, your not-boyfriend doesn't know the rules.

seungkwan waves vaguely in the air and you see red for a moment before snatching your purse off of the nightstand and pocketing your phone. "y/n, where are you going?"

"i'll be back," is all you say before running out of his house and down to your car, hopping in and speeding the one place you can guarantee to find wonwoo.

pulling up to the club, you swing your car into a spot and scan the parking lot looking for his black mercedes. you spot it glimmering in the evening sun, and scoff before jumping out. you hardly have to talk to anybody when you walk in and make you way to the very back where wonwoo and five of your fathers men do business outside of your house.

a cloud of smoke hits your face when you push the door open, and you scrunch your face up. the first person you come in contact with is joshua, your fathers right hand man who you've known for the greater part of your life. when your father wasn't around, joshua was. he was more like an uncle to you, practically raising you. "hey, princess," he says, a smile on his face.

"where is wonwoo?" you ask, eyes surveying the room. you see mingyu, minghao, jeonghan, and vernon, but not the man you are here for.

"that's how you greet me?" joshua asks, tilting his head to the side. you don't feel like arguing, so you give him a quick hug paired with a kiss on the cheek. "why are you looking for wonwoo?" he asks.

you bite the inside of you cheek, trying to come up with a lie on the fly, until the door to another room opens, and wonwoo emerges buttoning the first three buttons on his shirt, followed by a dancer. your stomach drops, and you feel like laughing and crying at the same time. wonwoo doesn't acknowledge the woman and turns away from her, meeting your eye in the process. guilt and shock pass quickly over his features, before he composes himself and carries on like he didn't see him.

marching over to him, you stand in front of him as he takes a seat on the couch in the room. "wonwoo, we need to talk," you say, putting your hands on your hips. he picks up a glass of brown liquor and drains its remaining contents.

"then talk."

"in private," you say, widening your eyes. he sighs and stands up, starting to walk over to the room he just came out of. "i'm not talking to you in there." you say, a hint of disgust in your voice.

"then talk," he barks, the room quieting down a bit. your face burns in embarrassment, hating the way he's treating you. he stares up at you like there's better things he could be doing, his gaze hard.

"you're such an asshole."

wonwoo shrugs. "oh well."

"you know what, wonwoo? fuck you. i know you threatened boo the other night, so you can just fuck off! you can fuck with me—fine—but leave seungkwan out of it!"

his nose twitches like it did the other night, but this time you don't stick around to wait for him to explode. you leave just as quickly as you'd shown up.

once outside, the tears start. you lean against the side of the building and sob into your hands. you don't know how, or why, for that matter, you let wonwoo treat you this way. but he's not always like this— you've seen sides of him that prove it. but its been nearly two years of push and pull, him doing both the pushing and pulling. he pushes you away while simultaneously pulling you to him. he knows that you'll follow him wherever he goes.

[kolour-me-kourt]

Chapter fifteen: sex ain’t better than love

Time really does heal wounds just not all of them. YN and Jayson have found themselves in a stronger healthier relationship.... Or so she thinks. She's tried her hardest to fully forgive him and honestly she has but she doesn't trust him yet fully that'll take more time. With her new budding friendship with Melo Jayson finally saw them together and he no longer was worried about it she was gonna step out but he was worried that she had something with Melo that she could never have with him again and that's friendship. The more they worked on it he felt better about the situation. Slowly becoming friends again had completely helped the relationship.

Right now they were meeting up for a lunch date. She came straight from work to see him. When she walked into the restaurant she saw LBG it had been the first time since the whole ordeal so yn wanted to apologize to her. It hurts different when you're the one being done wrong. So naturally when she saw her she walked right over to her table hoping it would turn her karma back positive.

"Hiiiii" "hey you have a mintue to talk in private" since the texts and videos had come out YN hadn't seen LBG Melo was 90% sure she was the one who leaked it so YN figured she knew about them for months "wussup? You came to confront me because I leaked the messages? And ruined your new relationship?" "Uh no I figured you did that but me and Jayson are better than ever actually I just wanted to apologize .... It was fake of me to be In your face and fucking Melo" "I guess we're even now .... Better than ever though? Did he not take the bait?" "Huh what are you talking about?"

"Me and Ella have been dming eachother and becoming friends for months so when I saw Jayson was gonna be in st.Louis with Nelly I let her know ... I knew he would have to fold.... Unless he just didn't tell you" She smirked feeling excited that she might've told YN she got cheated on  "trust and believe it's nothing about that man any other woman could tell me ... but like I said we good" be the bigger person YN thought "okay well so are we since we're even" "ight cool enjoy your lunch" "you do the same"

LBG walks off going back to her table YN walks a little further and sits down at the table with Jayson. "You look beautiful" "thank youuuu sorry ima little late" "uh what we're you talking to her for?" YN lifted an eyebrow "uh just wanted to apologize as a person who's been cheated on now.... Well I just wanted to apologize" "wow okay" "yeah she did say something interesting though" "what she say?" "She set you up to fuck Ella.... Well more so she told Ella where you would be and you fell for the trap so you were a pawn in a much bigger chest game .... Sad really" "... I'm sorry I thought we were moving pass this"

"no no no ... we were I mean we are but when it comes up what am I supposed to do?" "So you told her we're struggling" he sighs "hell tf no I don't care if we were in the trenches that's our business nobody else's especially somebody I dont like but .....are we struggling?" "I mean you don't trust me and that hurts" "that's something that has to be gained again I don't wanna say I don't... I also don't really wanna have this conversation in public... you know?" She smiled through the whole conversation but Jayson was noticeably upset. She reached for his hand across the table   "Nah I get it but we can talk later right?" "Of course" he smiled slightly

"I ordered some stuff already but you can order some more whatever you want" "oooou whatever I want daddy?" She laughed genuinely he was glad he could do that.... see the real glow come to her cheeks and her eyes glisten.... It had been a minute "yeah but don't make me go broke now" "we both know that's not gon happen" "hmm you gotta keep me on my shit so I know" "don't I always?" "You try but I'm stubborn" " glad you know" "oooh you got jokes" she laughed slightly

"just like you" "I did order your meal too and your drink ... so I hope you okay with that " "yes it's fine ... I was late " "you sure?" "Yeah you should know me by now" "you know that was one of the trust test on the list ..... that you refuse to read" YN rolled her eyes

"if I'm gonna build trust with you it's just gonna happen no therapist about to tell me to play a whole bunch of games to gain trust" "it's wild cause you the main one that hypes up therapy to everyone" "cause it's a great resource but you choose this guy and I don't like him" "why?" "He's clearly a fan and agrees with you all the time" "I'm doing this for us.... I don't think he does that" "and he's judge mental af" YN continued ranting completely ignoring everything Jayson had said he rolled his eyes "okay Bae you right I'm wrong" "don't do that I always want you to speak your mind" "so listen to me when I'm trying to speak" "sorry" she said softly

when Jayson spoke to her like that it turned her on. Sex after the infidelity had been completely different. He did all the same things that use to get her to her moment but she just couldn't cum with him anymore she found herself faking the orgasms which she vowed she would never do. She didn't wanna say the sex was bad because he would be effected by that and it would be hard to move on.

And honestly It wasn't that the sex was bad it was the fact that everytime she saw his dick she almost felt like it was contaminated. In the beginning of their relationship she absolutely loved having sex with him because she felt like he belong to her and after sharing Melo it felt great to have some ownership but two months ago everything changed. Did she enjoy the sex? A little bit Did she find herself having sex everytime he hinted towards it regardless if she was in the mood or not .... Yes cause now she felt like she had competition.

YN knows it's completely unhealthy for her to have these thoughts but she was coping so now ....in this moment actually being turned on by her man even in this incredibly intense situation she found joy because this was growth.

"I didn't mean to talk to you like that" he caught himself being too forceful she licked her lips. "Nah you needed too .... I'm all ears now" she looked him up and down slowly He smiled "are you looking at me how I think you looking at me?" "Jayson baby I'm trying to listen... focus" "uh you made me lose my train of thought .... If you don't like him we can find another one but this one specializes in relationships with athletes so that's why I chose him" "of course he does that's how he gets to meet all his favs" she jokes

the waiter starts to bring the food out and when YN sees her dish she smiles "this smells so gooood" "damn it look good too I should've got me that" she laughed "wanna try some?" "Yeah" he had ordered a white sauce pasta with red peppers chicken and Turkey bacon "well that's tooooooo damn bad" she smiled drinking some of her Moscato. "Oh damn alright" "I'm  playing bae let me try it first though" she puts some of the pasta on her fork eating it slowly "yeah nah this really good" she puts some on her fork extending it to Jayson. "We gon get two to go" Jayson spoke still tasting the food in his mouth  "for you?" "Yupp" she laughed "greedyyy"

"Can we get back to how you was just looking at me though ..... I ain't seen that look and heard that soft voice in a while.... Not that I'm complaining" "I didn't wanna fake it with you .... If I feel this way I feel this way" "you couldn't fake that look even if you tried it's little give away so I know my baby" "yeah ... you do" "so do you wanna...?" She smiled "finish my pasta? Yeah I wanna do that". He laughed "but after we leave here... and finish our talk do you wanna go have some sex you'll actually enjoy instead of faking it" she started choking because she didn't know that he knew he shook his head as she started drinking some of the water that was at the table

"You done with the dramatics bae?" She rolled her eyes "you caught me off guard ... why you think I was faking it?" "Like I said I l know you and I know how you feel when you cum and you haven't been feeling... like that no matter how hard I try" "my pussy?" She whispered he laughed "I meant you all of you physically and your energy ... watch your mouth" she smirked "my lack of orgasm doesn't mean I haven't been enjoying you ... cause I have... it's just different" "you didn't tell me though and anytime it came up you ensured me that you were fine" "you didn't tell me you knew.... Got me wasting energy" "you and your jokes"

"I'm serious" "oh yeah? How it's a waste of energy" "cause ...." He smirked "im waiting" " I was really trying to play it up ... ya know so that took energy" he laughed slightly "let me ask you something Fr though" "yeah?" "Did you fake everything for the past two months? Or was it just the ....big moment" "it still felt okay so like the reactions were real the moans were real but I just played it up a little" "is that the same reason you wasn't letting me .... Eat?" Her eyes got wide

"I ... just knew I wouldn't be able to ... so it would leave me frustrated and be a waste of everyones time " she whines a little bit "do you feel like I'm rushing you.... When I'm down there" "baby can we notttt" "sorry I'm just really interested in this conversation" "it's not proper dinner convo" "you right ... but this is being added to the conversation just so you know" "no..." "yes ...." "Jayson" "we not fuckin until I get to the bottom of this I can't stand the thought of not pleasing you" "Jayson it's fine" "it's not though that's one thing with you I got right from the beginning I knew you wasn't cumming but I thought you were at least enjoying it .... But that don't seem to be right either so can we please just talk about it so I can..." "yes sorry baby of course"

"how's your Merlot?" "Sweet" she said simply "you mad at me?" "No... I'm ready to go though" "tell me if you're mad" she smiled "I'm not mad I want to go... finish the talk and..." his smile became big "and what?" YN did the motion like she was sucking dick.

"You can do that here...." his voice was deep as he looked her up and down "Boy stop" the waiter stopped by "everything okay here?" "Yea sir can we actually get to go boxes and can you give us two more orders of what she had and then the check" "yes sure no problem" "I hope you know I'm eating one of those" "why when you didn't finish that one" "only cause we leaving...." "You a headache" "yourssss"

After twenty minutes they were on the outside of the restaurant. "You going straight home?" She asked Jayson "yeah why? You not?" "I am..." "then let's go" he walks her to her car and then gets in his own He waits for her to pull out and Then he does the same.

Soon enough they were back home parking their cars she waits for him to let her out of her car. "You was racing me?" He asked "I won so it don't matter😝" "I know one race you can beat me at .... Get yo ass in this house" he pulls her roughly making her laugh  "oooou" he opens the door and shutting it quickly picking her up he pins her against the walls kissing her deeply she moans

"We gotta talk first..." he says on her lips "Jayson that's not fair" she whines"pay back for letting me fuck you terribly this whole time" she pouts "baby your dick is so hard I can feel you" "you want me?" "Yes please" "what if you don't like it?" "I will...." "I wanna finish these conversations first though..." "fine ... put me down? So I can focus" "sit on my lap? So I can remember what I'm trying to do after this..." she smiles "yes that works" she kisses his lips over and over again as he takes her to sit on the couch.

"You're so strong baby" she says on his lips as she kisses all over his face " yeah I gotta be strong ... now listen to me" he spanks her ass she pulls away "yes sir?" She knew that was his weakness "You trying me baby" "I'm not trying you... what are we supposed to be talking about?" "Well for one why you didn't tell me about the sex not being good for you" "cause I quickly figured out it was a mental thing so I didn't wanna tell you and it was nothing you could do... it would only hurt your feelings"

"I still wanna know those things it's no point of me fucking you if you don't like it ... I hate that... which brings me to the next conversation the trust excerises and our therapist" "what about it" "we need to start doing them" "you ordered for me and I liked it..." "I wanna do more ..." "like what bae?" "Like what's on the list .... Compromise?" "Fine I'll try three of them with you but if I don't like them after that it's a dub" "fine that's fair.... I got one in my head I wanna try a little later you okay with that?"

"You came up with it?" "Yes..." "ummm yeah it's making me a little uneasy but yeah" "why uneasy?" "Naturally ... idk what it's gonna be so I'm nervous" he kissed her lips "don't be.... Now do you wanna change therapists?" "No we would have to start all the way over..." "but you don't like him" "So?.... He's not bad he just likes you more" "I don't think so" "it's okay Bae ... are we done now?" He smiled

"no the situation with LBG....if you felt embarrassed or mad or any of that I'm sorry cause once again I'm sorry that you have to deal with my actions" "I forgave you .... So I had to forgive you for all that comes with that....it didn't piss me off cause I did some fucked up things to her so she was vengeful that's on me we all made actions that turned into bigger issues so I get it" he kisses her slowly "so ... we good?" "Yesss"

"Lastly..." "Ughhh" she cuts him off he spanks her ass "ow!" She laughs "like I was saying .... Lastly you gon let me eat your pussy?? I don't care how long it takes bae.... Let me make you cum" she was speechless as he picks her kissing her and taking her to the bedroom she moans. "You gon let me ... huh?" "Yesss" hearing yes from her was exciting but also brought a lot of pressure at this point he hadn't made her cum in two months so this needed to be amazing for both of them she tried to relax and stay in the moment so it could be good. She starts to take her clothes off watching him do the same. He hovered over her body looking in her eyes "you ready?" "Yes" she kiss his lips

He starts kissing down her body "if you want me to stop I will" "Jayson .... I don't wanna" he stopped on her stomach kissing all over and then he spread her legs. He didn't lick or kiss her for a moment building up the anticipation. She arched her back "baby please?" He kisses her thighs she felt him smirking "you so wet and I haven't even touched you yet...." "Ughh" she continued to move her hips up to his face everytime he would back away until suddenly she finally felt his tongue making her drop her hips he pulls her closer to his face and continued to lick her center she moaned softly she smiled it felt good already.

"You want fingers?" "Yes" he slides two fingers deep inside of her as his mouth continued to lick suck and kiss. "Yes yes yes yesssssss" she grabbed on to the blankets and herself to try and calm down but it felt so good and it felt completely new again it had been too long. "Want me to stay like this? You like this?" "Yesss baby pleaseee" he smiled and that's exactly what he was talking about earlier some things you just completely can not fake. "I love you Jayson..... Jayson I love you" she said breathlessly spreading her legs wider because she was getting closer to her big moment. "Mmmmm Jay—-" he cuts her off looking up at her  "I love you too" He said quickly rushing back to her center she pouted

"I'm taking too long?" "No such thing what I tell you earlier? I meant that and I'm enjoying myself ... I promise just relax" "okay ... okay I'm relaxing" he kissed her thighs "so can I finish?" "Yes please?" He started back up making her immediately arch her back she didn't realize how close she was before. He grabs her legs with each of his hands spreading them apart as she got closer. "Keep them open for me please?" "Yesss" he squeezes her ass pulling her close to his mouth. Her hands immediately grab his head. "Ahhhhh" he started looking in her eyes he groaned into her sending vibrations through her body.

"Oooou ooooou" her legs started to shake she grabbed her breast "ahhhhhh" he continued to groan as she moaned loudly "baby baby babyyyyyyyyyy" "mmmhmm?" "I'm gonna ...." He never stopped what he was doing "baby please don't stop pleaseee" she continued to rock her hips back and forth against his face as she finally came "yes yes yesssss...fuckkk" she felt so good it's nothing like she had experienced since he wasn't able to make her cum. She hadn't even been able to make herself cum like this. And he never stopped.

"Jayson .... Okay okay" she tries to push his head away "uh uh Im not done" "oh fuck oh fuckkk" he moves her hands pinning them down on her stomach "yesss baby yessss" "you still want me to move?" ".... Nooooo" he smirked taking one of his hands and moving it back in between her legs to slowly slide two fingers inside he kissed up her body. "That felt good huh?" "Y—es" "can't believe you been faking that for so long" "I'm sorry..." "I know." He tongue kisses her as his fingers continued to move upwards

"you'll cum for me like this?" "I want to bad" he smiled kissing her forehead "spread them legs wider" he smiled when she listen and his fingers felt so good to her "you dripping all on the bed ... all on my hand ..... just wet" she grabs his arm that's holding him up digging her nails in deep as she started to cum again. Her eyes closed "You squirting? Damn baby" next thing she knew he was back between her legs drinking from her fountain like he was the thirstiest man on earth. "ohhhhh fuckkkk" he kissed back up her body placing his fingers that was just inside her in her mouth she sucks them softly. He sticks them in the back of her throat making her gag

"you gon suck my dick?" She nods her head "what if I say no" he teases her "You won't tell me no" "why I won't?" "Cause I'm gonna do a good job"he kisses her lips adding tongue making her moan "get up and show me then" he kissed her lips one last time standing up she bit her lip siting up "you different you know that?" "Yeah I'm different now get yo sexy ass over here"

she finally scoots out of the bed walking over to him when she gets to him she kisses all over his chest softly rubbing her nails up and down his shaft. Then she kisses down his body until she gets on her knees. She smirks while looking up at him

"you trying to tease me huh?" He says

After a few kisses on his dick YN wets her mouth slowly spiting onto his dick getting it nice and wet Jayson pulls at her hair pulling her away "I asked you a question... answer me" "I'm not teasing" she starts stroking his dick he keeps pulling her head back "now you're teasing me Jayson"  "don't play with me baby.... Okay?" She bit her lip "what's gonna happen if I do?" "Nothing... just don't" "okay so let me start..." she pouts he lets her hair go and she immediately kissing his tip slowly placing it in her mouth his head immediately goes back she pulls him out of her mouth licking on the bottom of his shaft staring him in his eyes.

"Hit me with it" she moaned he smiled "say please" "Please"? he grabbed his dick hitting her right in the face with his dick he noticed her fingering herself as her mouth went back on his tip and her other hand started to stroke him again in perfect harmony moving down and up together "keep looking at me" he said softly "damn you so beautiful... that pussy so wet for me ain't it?" "Mmmmhmmm" "I need to feel you.... Let go back to the bed" she stoped "you sure ... that wasn't that long" "yeah I'm sure" he helps her up and then they walk over to the bed he pushes her down on her back...

"babyyy" she laughed "hmmm? You don't like a little bit of aggression?" "Yeah..." "yeah I know" she bit her lip  watching him intently wondering what was next he grabs his dick teasing her but also teasing himself. She wiggled as his tip continued to play between her folds up and down to her clit and then to her entrance painfully slow as she whined "please Jay?" She stared into his eyes and suddenly he was completely inside of her. He grabbed her boobs as he stroked slowly "yesss baby" "damn look at how you grippin me" he concentrated on his dick moving in and out of her which made her look too it was a beautiful site "I'm so wet" gasps  he grabs her hips switching up his tempo but it still felt amazing.

"Hold your legs ...." "Jayyyyy" she whined he hits her thigh pushing her legs back. "Now!" She holds her ankles "when I tell you to do something do it...stop playing with me" his thumb landed on her clit rubbing it just enough to make her say "I'm gonna cummm" "nah..." she smiled he leaned down to kiss her as they continued to moan in each others mouth. "Fuckkk" "shhh just kiss me" she kissed until she didn't have any more strength to because she was cuming. "Fuck" he groaned on her lips "squeezing me and you so damn tight .... Can't believe you thought you was faking this bae" "I'm so sorry" "nah I'm sorry" she tried to drop her legs that's when he promptly said no softly "no?" "We not done..." "oh....? can I rest them on your shoulder?" He smiled pulling out she looked at his dick wet from her still fully hard and wanting her

"you wanna be done?" "No..I was just—" "put it in the air for me okay?" She turns around sticking her ass in the air he watched her make the perfect arch. "Damn" he said softly and grabbed her hands putting them on her back holding them there and sliding in deeply "see I had to hold you .... You like to run when it's good"  "Jaysonnnnnnn" "hmm?" "I missed you" " I missed you too baby" his other hand comes around rubbing her clit "OHHHHHHHHHHHH" she started to cum "fuck you trying to push me out...keep your hands there" she holds her hands behind her back.

He puts his hands on either side of her head stroking deeply "throw it back on me" "ughhhhh" "yeah throw that shit back" she started to go too fast "slow down... you not even enjoying it when it's that fast " she continued going fast he slaps her ass "slow the fuck down" she listens going slower he grabs her hair pulling her up as he started to fuck her again. He chokes her a little bit making her smile "I love how you takin my dick right now" he kissed her cheek letting her rest back on the bed.

"Mmmmm" he said softly she knew that noise from anywhere he was about to cum. She tried to glance back to look at his face but then he went into overdrive making her lose her position. Her stomach now was flat on the bed and ass barely in the air but he didn't stop. "Bae you not being a good girl for me no more" YN whines as she starts to release "oh no warning?" "I'm so fuckin sorry" she moans into the sheet. "Bae you want me to cum?" "Pleaseeeee" "where you want it?" "Inside me Jay inside meeee" he smiled grabbing her hair and choke  her while her body remained on the bed he pulled her head close to him "where you want it?" "Inside me baby pleaseeee" she looked up at him as he groaned deeply

"pleaseee?" "Fuck I love the way you grippin me right now I want it to last forever" it's almost like he growled the sentence in her ear which turned her on more she notice him becoming weak as his hips went into over drive but also become sluggish and his eyes closed. "Baby I want it so deep in me please" she whined never has she begged for his orgasm so much but she needed it as much as he did right now. "Oh shit" he begins sucking on her neck "daddy don't stop" she felt him get tense and then release inside of her holding her as close as possible "mmmm"

He licks his fingers rubbing her clit "fuck Jaysonnnnn" "one last one for me baby while you keep me inside" her eyes were heavy as she started to grind against him "want me to stop?" "Nooo please" "please what?" "Don't stop don't .... Mmmmmm" "go head cum on me bae" she grinds slightly against his fingers "I'm .... So close.." she says softly his hand goes to her throat "so what you need?" "Squeeze it..." he didn't ask anymore questions he just squeezed her throat tight but not too tight as his other hand went into over drive on her clit making her cum almost immediately "ohhhh shit look at youuu drippin" he started to stroke again slowly and deeply

  "daddyyyy thank youuuuu" he started to cum again groaning in her ear softly "fuck" he slowly let her go she let herself relax laying on the bed fully he stands up looking down at her .... Legs still shaking He smiled he was proud. She lays on her side "come here.." "hmmm?" He walks closer to her lining himself up with her stomach "come up to my face I want a kiss" he walks closer leaning down to kiss her lips he stands up "anything else?" She licked her lips staring directly at his dick she slowly put him back in her mouth "damn baby" after she was content she pulled away

"just trying to clean you off" he leans down kissing her forehead "I love you" "I love you too.... Lay dat ass down" he laughed "why?"  "Why not?" "Cause I gotta pee" "me too and I'm laying down" "Get up" "your little deep voice worked one time now you wanna be talking to me crazy" "I better not hear nothing crazy come out your mouth for the next three days after that sex." YN laughed "so on day four I can talk shit again?"  She stands up walking past him to the bathroom "Shouldn't ever be talking to me like that..." he smacks her ass "ooouch" "I'm going to the other bathroom!" "okay then" he slides some shorts on going to her guest bathroom

YN pees brushes her teeth and then got in the shower about five minutes in her shower she felt a cold breeze from the shower door opening. "Can I come in?" "Mhmm" he drops his shorts coming into the shower with her

"I know I should just be happy that your legs are weak and we having this good moment but—-" YN cuts him off "—- baby please can we just live in this good moment it might continue to last you're trying to be twenty steps ahead in our relationship now and it just doesn't work like that... I love you ... we working this shit out that's all that matters the more we sit and analyze stuff the worse it's gonna get for me" "okay Bae I'm sorry" she looked at his face and couldn't help but smile "I want you to be able to get stuff off your chest but I also just don't wanna keep talking about the same things .... I truly believe we good" "alright then that's enough for me ... I promise" "did you tap out?" "Nah ... why" she turns around standing directly under the shower head rinsing the front of her body he grabs her hair making it into a pony tail standing directly behind her

"Wanna answer me?" She glances up "I was just asking" "from the way you standing I can tell your legs are weak .... I think you tapped out" "me? Never!" She smiled "so let me slide back in" "jaysonnnn" "prove me wrong..." "I can't cause you right" he kissed her forehead "thoughts so" "I know everything is a little crazy right now but.... I don't want you to leave" "I'm not we got time" "I mean ever..." he laughed slightly "baby .... You know that's not possible" " I do I'm just saying" "I'm sorry we can't be together all the time ... this long distance shit is for the birds"  Jayson turns around so YN could wash his back

"you thought about letting me meet Deuce ... and his mother"  "you think you ready for that" "it's not up to me" "nobody has ever met Deuce I've never even considered it but with you.... Shit" she grabs the shower head rinsing his back  

He turns around "you'll consider it?" "If you're ready he's older now I don't want him getting attached and then ..." "no I get it .... Ask your mom" he smiled "why?" "She knows things that I can't even explain and she knows you and Deuce so are you ready? Am I ready? And most importantly  is he ready? To meet someone I know I'm important to you and I love you you're important to me and I just think about the constant back and forth and long period of time when you're not here and it's because I can't go there when you have Deuce cause I haven't met him but if I do meet him I can come around more for the both of you"

"mostly for me right?" She laughed "was that some Jealousy I hear Jay?"

"Yeah definitely I want you to only be focused on me" "of course I am ... but isn't this getting serious" "it is .... So I would love for you two to have a bond but I don't know what that looks like cause once again he's never met anybody I was talking to or dating" "I'm not trying to force it Bae I'm just  .... That would solve this long distance problem and also I wanna meet his mom first" he smiled "that'll be interesting" "why?" "Y'all totally different" "yeah I'm cuter than her" "bae.." he says sternly

"my bad I'll be nice I just wanna meet her cause I don't wanna met deuce without meet her and getting the okay the last thing I wanna  do is start drama in your life surrounding your child so if you think that's gonna happen forget I even said anything" "close your eyes let me rinse your hair" "want me to turn away from you?" "Yeah so I can get that back of your head" she listens bracing her self on the wall as Jayson washed the conditioner out of her hair. "Let me think about it some more and then I'll get back to you ... how that sound?" "Like a plan" "good .... You so understanding" "I try"

"I love your wet hair... does something to me" she smiled "you like the curls" "yeah I do ..." "me too I wish when it dries I could keep it like this" "well at least I get the pleasure of seeing you like this." She turns standing on her tip toes asking for a kiss. "I love you" "I love you" "nah I don't think you understand baby I love you sooooooo damn much like so damn much it doesn't make sense in my head" he kisses her forehead "and I love you so much more than you could ever love me" "if you love me more than I love you that's wayyyyy too much" she smiled he shook his head "actually nah it's just enough" "let's get out the shower" "you can go ahead Bae I need five more minutes" "okayyyy" she leaves him in the shower after drying off she puts on one of T shirts that was too big for her and some cute lace panties then she goes to the kitchen to start fixing some spaghetti.

When he came out of the bathroom he wanted more of her. "Bae?" He yelled from upstairs "I'm in the kitchennnnn" when he walked into the kitchen he had no clothes on "bae!" She was completely shocked he walked over to her quickly sitting her on the counter kissing "what are you doing bae" "I want you badly" he continued kissing her spreading her legs he moved her panties to the side sliding inside her deeply. "Fuckkk I'm cooking bae" "it'll be fine YN" "...the ground beef is gonna burn" she said quietly "so I need to stop?" "Nooo ... I was just ughhh" she whined

"fuckk" he groaned in her ear as she shook "fuck Jayyyy" "sorry I even had to come at you like that but baby you look so damn good I'm so happy about us" "me too daddy me——ughhhh" "hmmm?" He smiled "your voice and then the way you .... Fuck why can't I finish a sentence" he laughed slightly "you still can say too much if I'm being honest" "mmfuck!!" she pouts as she gets closer "you feel so fuckin good yn" he says right on her lips "right there right there oh gosh Im About to..." "nah wait for me" "jayyy I can't" his forehead rested on hers watching her closely while her eyes remained closed he kept a nice grip on her booty

"bae hold it" he felt her walls begin to squeeze him tighter indicating that she was trying to listen she grabbed his back digging her nails "ahhhh ... daddyyyy I cantttt" "cum for me cum with me" he rubs her clit as he works on making them release together he continued to stroke inside of her until he was tapped out He kissed her lips and neck sucking softly "damn let me put some clothes on" he pulls out fixing her panties as YN sat there trying to catch her breath he smiled

"what's for dinner? I'm hungry" "spaghetti if my meat didn't burn" she said with a slight attitude he helps her down off the counter "let me go put on some clothes I'll be back" she bit her lip "okay" he smacks her ass walking away. YN begin making her sauce as Jayson walks back "you mad I fucked your like that?" "No the food will be fine so no .... And it felt good so.... but um can I ask what prompted that?" "Trust excerise wanted to be spontaneous and see if you would trust me enough to do it safely..." "well did I pass?" "With flying colors" she smiled looking back at him "mmm good" "food smell good" "thank you Bae" "can't wait to eat" "if the trust excerises we're gonna be like that you should've told me" she smiled "you didn't even read them Bae" "I know and I'm sorry" "mhm I know"

"Chile...." "What?" "Nothing Jay nothing" "that attitude coming back I see" "I'm in here fixing you dinner ..... what attitude?" "I appreciate that too" "mhm" "that attitude!... it's a little hint but it's still there what's up?" "What's up is nothing" he stand up walking behind her pulling her close "talk to me" she pushed her hips further on him melting into his body "oh Is that what you want?" He kissed her check whispering in her ear she moaned softly "I'm not doing anything until you tell me what you want" "Jayson" she whined "what?" He said sternly she glance up at him and then quickly looked back down pouring her sauce over the meat mixing it well

"you're being rough" "being rough how?" "Being aggressive..." she couldn't help but moan cause she could feel him poking through his shorts and her panties  "why you whining" "you know why" "nah I don't tell me" "I want more ...." "more what?" "You..." "me doing what ? Use your words" now that her meat was mixed throughly she turned it on low and turned her water up high so it can boil she turned around staring at him "nothing I guess.." "just cause I want to hear you say it? Cause I hope you know I'm not bluffin" "I know daddy ..." she smiled "oh so you want me to give in?"

He grabs her hand putting it in his pants so she could feel him "you see I'm ready .... You can feel I'm ready just tell me what you want" "I want you to eat it .... And I wanna get fucked over the island"  "why was that so hard to say?" He picks her up sitting her on the island moving her panties out of the way again she gasp "hmm? You not gon answer me?" "It's hard to say those things even when I want them I wish you would just ...ooooou" she stopped taking when she felt his lips wrap around her clit. He moves and starts placing light kisses on her thighs "finish that sentence you wish I would what?" "Just do what you think I want cause you're right" "so I'm a 100% right? all the time?" "you're very accurate when I'm trying to tell you something with my body"

his kisses started getting closer and closer to her center making her whine more "so why not just tell me..you could've been getting your pussy ate by now" "ughhhhh" "I ask you a question" "I don't know Jayson I don't know" "You gettin frustrated?" "a little" he smiled pulling her close to his taking one long lick she melted on his tongue "yessss" she loved the way his hands grabbed at her thighs keeping her close to his face she loved how when he started enjoying himself he would growl like he was hungry for more "you wanna cum on my face?" "y-e--e-e-esssss" her yes very broken which let Jayson know she was close he stands up helping her down

"bend over" she stared him in his eyes if she protested he was gonna fuck her but if she didn't he had no intentions on stoping his meal she bends over with no complaints and he places her leg on the island straight and then she felt his tongue on her clit one more time. "FUCKKKKK'' "mmmmm" she grabbed onto the other end of the island to keep her balance as she pushed her hips back onto his face "im...s---o ...clo--seeee" next thing he knew he felt her getting wetter as he struggled to continue to lick her up finally when was done he kissed up her body stopping at both butt checks and then her back sliding in deep. "fuck yes" he noticed

the leg he had placed on the island kept moving closer and closer to the edge  "keep you leg up there don't move that shit you hear me?" he grabbed her hair roughly when she didn't answer "You hear me baby?" "Yessss daddy I hear you fuck" "next time you want another round what you gon say?" "Fuck me daddy pleaseeee" "and If I say no?" ''you won't" he smiled laughing slightly "you right" he glanced at the stove noticing the water got a little louder they have solid three minutes before the water started to boil he kept a strong hold on her hair

"so damn wet look at my baby" "daddyyy" "cum for me? you wanna cum for me?" "yessss" "damn I love the way your ass moving on me right now..." he said lowly but she heard him so she begin smiling "Jay—- mmmm Jay right there" his eyes were closed because he had worked himself up and was so close he could taste it .... He wanted to make her cum again though so he reached around rubbing her clit which immediately made her move her hips forward "uh uh baby where you going take this dick" "fuckkkk fuck fuckkkkkkkk " she says as she releases all over him he smiles

"thank you" He says to remind her to say thank you "thank youuuu" "tell daddy thank you" "thank youuuu daddyyyy fuckk" "mmmm guess where I'm about to cum?" "Inside me" "mhmm that's where you want it?" "Yes yes yesss fuck" "shit" he groaned when he felt her squeezing her walls around him as he finally exploded inside of her her leg finally fell as she tried to get herself together once again he fixed her panties and the water started to boil

"fuck baby could you?" She ask Jayson "just put the noodles in?" "Yeah ... um please" he smiled fixing himself "yeah I gotchu" he poured the noodles in the pot and she still hadn't moved "you good bae?" He walked over to her face kissing her forehead "hmm?" He laughed "are you good?" "Yes I'm fine" she stands up fixing her shirt "I feel like...." "What?" "Nothing I don't wanna seem crazy" she reached under the cabinet grabbing Clorox wipes wiping down the island and the counter she was on earlier "you still want more?" she bit her lip. "yeah... is that crazy?" "it's not crazy but you gotta feed me first bae or im not gon be any more good" He laughed "okay bae lets get some food in you" 

she drained the water when the noodles were done and put him some noodles in his bowl and poured the sauce over "any cheese?" "Yeah exactly like yours" "oooop you wanna be like big daddy" YN laughed he shook his head "you ain't big nothing" "this ass is big" "your ass and that head the only big things on you" "you don't complain about this head when I'm giving it to you" she finally places his meal in front of him "you got jokes" "always, what you want to drink daddy?" "Mmm you catering to me? Some water is fine" "water it is" she grabbed him a bottle handing it to him and then fixed her food sitting across from him.

"What you drinking?" He asked her "this is lemonade" "oh damn can I have some?" "Out of my glass or you want your own cup?" "I don't wanna drink all of yours so yeah my own cup" "okay I'll get you some" she grabbed a glass putting him some ice in it and then poured him some lemonade handing it to him "anything else?" "Nah bae let's eat" she smiled sitting down after a quick prayer she watched him eat her food and then started eating herself "this good asf bae look at you catering to me" she smiled "I'm glad we back Fr.... Feels good"

[qiaipia]

Somebody Tied You to an Ant Pile — miguel o’hara

ミ★ a Bullet fic on being in Highschool with a Miguel O’HottieHara

ミCONTENT: miguel o’hara x afab! reader. childhood friends to lovers. nerd/popular trope. messing around (r16). Inspired by blueastriz’s work on TT. 

read this as if i was a friend barging in ur inbox for a fic idea lmao. don’t take the formatting too srsly!

The cicadas rang their symphony in the hot summer air. It was time to part ways.

“You’ll text right?” An 11-year old Miguel O’Hara pouts, beside you on the swing. The sun was setting. A chapter was now closing.

You laugh, excited about the new adventure that came with moving homes, but you give him your biggest comforting smile. “Of course! You’re my best friend Miggy, we’ll even talk all night if you want to!” 

He pushes his glasses up his nose, pout still evident. 

You outstretch your hand, and he hands his over, interlacing each other. Stubby and sweaty children hands.

You gave his soft palms a gentle squeeze. “I promise. Nothing’s going to get in between us.” Your eyes beamed with hope.

Miguel gave a small smile and nods. “I’ll ask mama to buy me a phone.” 

- But that was 5 years ago and well, times have changed.

- But now you’re in Highschool as a popular kid!! 

- Mostly because you hung out with the mean girls 

- names? Stacy and Jane lmao 

- You though? you’re Nice, buuuutt you were also a bystander. Kid getting bullied? Not exactly your problem. 

- But when it mattered you spoke your mind and had a rbf so everyone stays away from your clique 

- You and Miguel go waaaayy back 

- Before you moved you were neighbors! 

- You and Miguel are childhood best friends 

- First grade at ur old school some bullies tied you and Miguel to an antpile

- You two were bonded ever since over red ant bites and swollen faces 

- Playing games together with the O’Hara brothers 

- Pulling stunts on his younger brother Gabri 

- Making messes everywhere

- And blaming Gabri lol 

- U guys were together EVERYDAY practically inseparable by the 6th grade. Never one without the other 

- Then you moved  u tried keeping contact but life kept u both busy, u guys just eventually stopped talking 

- Cue 10th grade! There is a new transfer student 

- U usually dont care, so u went a while without noticing this transferee 

- Then you saw someone getting picked on at lunch 

- U were studying the kid from afar - Jane saw u staring and teased u for it 

- Said his name was Miguel O’Hara. The newbie 

- “He’ll adapt soon enough.”

- DUH u remembered Miguel. He was ur grade school crush. And with his dorky glasses and thin frame, you STILL thought he was cute

- U wait for him out of his AP Science class 

- U creep behind him as he rummages through his locker and u shove him to get his attention 

- He was annoyed doe, “Ay mierda, you piece of shits took all my lunch money, I have nothing more-“ 

 - You grab hold of his shoulders and turn him around with the biggest grin on ur face lol 

- He is light as a feather and u were the same height lmao 

- He squints at you. “y/n?” 

- “Hola Miggy.” You laugh. 

- He is Shookt!! U went HERE?!?! 

 - U guys catch up going home, it was getting dark! U tease him abt the glasses, he teases u that ur a popular girl now 

- He is surprised,, to see u have such a big house now WOW ok 

- Ur family moved because ur dad got a better job offer and made much much more in the business

- U invite him in, he says his bro is waiting for him. U miss Gabri!! 

 - He is shookt when u say u have a pool PLS. U promise to invite him over next time

 - Gabri teases him ALL NIGHT LONG abt u, ur Miguel’s his gradeschool crush too, now he’s just happy to get back his friend 

- The next time someone bullies Miguel in front of u, its a jock who likes u, and u dont say much, so people are surprised u defend this nerdy new guy

- “Pick on someone your own size Archie. You get off hurting people smaller than you?” You call out from your seat on the table. 

 - Stacy backs you up. “Maybe he’s compensating for something.” She snickers. You make a puking sound. Everyone laughs.

 - Archie is embarrassed and leaves. 

- You flash Miguel a wink. He has to laugh. You stood up for him.

- Honestly, you guys don’t really interact at school. It was like teenage pride abt different social statuses and whatnot. You knew it would be bad for you and Miguel if you guys were seen together. 

- but u always wait for him on the days he has AP classes. 

- In return he walks you home. 

 - You both catch up. 

- Remember times like when you were both in grade-school, like the time his pants fell down while he was on the jungle gym. Or how you made a stupid amount of pastillas with him and had a sugar rush for days. 

- How your parents were now getting a divorce, and how yesterday he caught Gabri smoking Camels 

- Your girl friends have caught on. They wanna know the guy you were seeing. 

 - You had a stupid smile on your face all the time, of course it was a boy. 

- You couldn’t tell them of course, its social suicide 

- Once he came out of the AP Class early, you were confused 

- He said classes were cancelled 

- It was too early to go home, but it was too late to stay in school 

- He mentions that Gabri was at a friends house and that the house was empty 

- “Let’s get home before your mom does, yeah?” You say shakily, with a grin - You both obviously knew where this was going. 

- You both rushed to his house, nervous and clammy 

- “Is this your first time?” You ask with a nervous bite on your lips. “Yeah, yours?” He says, awkward fitting jeans doing nothing to hide pre-pubescent down there emotions. 

- “Mine too.” You mention nervously. “You’re shitting me.” 

 - “Don’t laugh!” You squeal throwing a pillow at him. 

- You didn’t know much about your body yet, and neither did Miguel, but his brown eyes were so captivating as he shuffled on top of you, sans glasses 

- It’s a normal thing now lol 

- Miguel actually ditches AP classes to mess around wit u 

- Esp with Gabri being out all the time 

- down bad fr 

- But it sort of goes like u need help also with homework after,, 

- So u learn??? because Miggy is such a smart cookie 

- U ACTUALLY LEARN 

- U learn each others bodies too atp so thats cute!! 

- It shows in ur grades lol 

- By then he is literally the only one ur messing around with 

 - But this one time: you both fall asleep after particularly tiring time alone 

- Sleep UNTIL DARK 

 - Conchata’s knock wakes u both tf UP 

- It’s impossible to hide u so u both settle for messily dressed and “We’re doing homework.” 

 - She doesn’t remember u at Miguel’s insistence lol 

- You awkwardly leave the house because she is NOT happy her son is bringing a girl home behind her back. Under the roof she pays for?!?! 

- “Do you even use protection mijo?” “…” “AY POR DIOS MIGUEL” 

- And well, now he gotta text his mom when u come over and Gabri gotta be there too 

- Gabri loves having u around, he geeks out with ur secret obsessions of comic books! It’s not really popular among your friend group, but you got really into it last year 

- Conchata doesn’t really approve of her son hanging out with a girl but “Ma I’m tutoring her.” And she rolls her eyes 

- You see it’s tense between mother and eldest son 

- You put a hand over Miguel’s after a harsh fight. “But you still love your mom don’t you?” 

- His eyes soften. 

- You have definitely pulled Miguel under the bleachers to make out once or twice 

- And you definitely have dragged him to empty supply closets lol 

- He’s down bad and a pretty girl just asked to blow him so is his 16 year old self gonna say no? 

 - Fuck no. 

 - You can’t keep ur hands to yourself lol 

- Plus you can see Miguel is slowly but sure changing. You gotta tiptoe now to kiss him WHAT 

- He also stares a LOT it gets you self conscious but he assures you your the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen. Followed by cupping your breasts and going “Have they always been this big?” Followed by you elbowing him 

- And who says sex ruins friendships?? It doesn’t! You and Miguel are closer than ever because of it 

- You know what does though? 

 - Love. 

- And you found that out when you cried yourself to sleep when Miguel said he was asked out by a girl to hang out in his AP Class 

- He said yes to her and he’ll hang out with you soon 

- But it’s always the same girl with him 

- Talking to him in class, during lunch, before, during and after AP Classes 

- Eventually he was halving his time with you and with her 

- They match well together, him and Xina Kwan. She was crazy smart and the same social status as him too. 

- She was sweet and smart and you have been avoiding Miguel like the plague in hopes it won’t wake up the vicious green monster 

- DAMN you were crying, mascara all over your face. 

 - It was the last day of school too urgh poor u. You wipe your tears as you wash you face on the school bathroom sink 

- Miguel had enough of u ignoring him tho so he walks up to you 

- While you were with ALL your popular friends around ur locker 

- And he asks if you wanted to walk home together 

 - He wasn’t really thinking, he just didn’t want u to avoid him anymore 

- You gave him a horrified look and ran away 

- And everyone laughed at poor heartbroken Miguel O’Hara

If this works out I’ll put out a fic for it. Hmu with thoughts!!

again, read this as if i was a friend barging in ur inbox for a fic idea lmao

[piercethenix]

a very long list of sleep token lyrics that make me feel more religious than i ever did at church

"wont you come and dance in the dark with me? show me what you are i am desperate to know"

"im coiled up like a venomous serpent tangled in your trance and im certain you have got your hooks in me"

"and i dont wanna get in your way but i finally think i can say that the vicious cycle was over the moment you smiled at me"

"and i know i know the way that it goes you get what you give, you reap what you sow and i can see you in my fate. and i know i know i am what i am the mouth of the wolf the eyes of the lamb so darling, will you saturate?"

"lets load the gun. make her eat the tape in the bathroom mirror see if she can guess what a hollow point does to a naked body"

"so flood me like atlantic, weather me to nothing. wash away the blood on my hands"

YOU MAKE ME WISH I COULD DISAPPEARRRRR

"and just like the rain you cast the dust into nothing and wash out the salt from my hands. so touch me again, i feel my shadow dissolving"

"they talk me through the damage, consequence and how its a pain they know they dont understand"

"when the mouth of infinity buries its teeth in me, ill smile through the agony for you. and i know you still bear the weight of your own existence and youll never bear the weight of two"

"well, i know what you want from me. you want someone to be your reflection, your bitter deception setting you free. so take what you want and leave"

"rose gold chains, ripped lace, cut glass, blood stains on the collar, please just dont ask"

"give in again and let me lay, my arms belong around you"

"i come as a blade, a sacred guardian. so you keep me sharp and test my worth in blood"

"id turn my walls to gold to bring you home again"

SO SHOW ME THAT WHICH I CANNOT SEE EVEN IF IT HURTS ME EVEN IF I CANT SLEEP OH AND THOUGH WE ACT OUT OF OUR HOLY DUTY TO BE CONSTANTLY AWAAAKKEEEE YOUVE GOT ME IN A CHOKEHOLD

"and im not here to be the savior you long for, only the one you dont. are you watching me with eyes of a predator as you move towards the door?"

"show me those pretty white jaws show me where the delicate stops show me what youve lost and why youre always taking it slow show me what wounds youve got show me love"

"i am the shadow, youre a passenger. i am the intake of breath so sharp and i know you better. just want to know you better"

"if you want to give then give me all that you can give all your darkest impules and if you want to give me anything then give give in again"

"ill tear the fibre from the filamemt, ill be the limit of your light again. i want to taste you better i want to taste you better. i will be watching for your enemies, to let them know that they contend with me"

"between the second hand smoke and the glass on the street you gave me nothing whatsoever but a reason to leave. you say you want me but you know im not what you need but i am"

IF YOU HAD A PROBLEM THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME BEFORE YOU STARTED GETTING ALL AGGRESSIVE AND CONTROLLING YOU ONLY DRINK THE WATER WHEN YOU THINK ITS HOLY SO KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD OR WE WILL BOTH BE HERE FOREVERRRR

"nevermind the death threats parting at the door wed rather be six feet under than be lonely"

WHY ARE YOU NEEEEVERR REAL THE SHIFTING STATES YOU FOLLOW ME THROUGH UNNNREVEALED

"yet in reverse you are all my symmetry, a parallel i would lay my life on. so if your wings wont find you heaven i will bring it down like an ancient bygone"

"i know for the last time, you will not be mine. so give me the night, the night, the night"

"and i hate who i have become (i might break and bend to my basic need to be loved and close to somebody)"

"most days you reach for safety. remain calm, forget that you know me"

DARLING IM NOTICING YOUR FLAWS THEYRE EXACTLY WHAT I WANT EVEN IF YOU DONT BELIEVE ME, KNOW IT

"it seems your heart is locked up and i still get the combination wrong. or are you simply waiting to save your love for someone i am not?"

"is that a glint in your eye? is that a blade in your palm? well, i am yours tonight so will you lay in my arms?"

"i want to feel my stars align again, even if the earth breaks like burnt skin and the heavens just wont open up for me. would you invite me in again? wont you pay for your arrogance? wont you show me your weakness?"

[dandyshucks]

realizing i wanted to ask - how did u first fall in love w/ guzma (irl) ? :o (@dmclr)

ougghh (/happy) Clara you always ask such good questions omg 🫶

umm... okay so. i should give a general "abuse CW" label i guess fjfkdl but I'll keep it vague and to a minimum of mention! also putting it below the cut because I RAMBLED SO MUCH, SORRY IN ADVANCE

tumblr kind of went crazy for the guy when the anime finally introduced him in 2019 (it took SO long to get to him, over 100 episodes in the su/mo arc 😭) and at first i didnt think much of him rly, but then somehow eventually (a few months later) i found out through osmosis that he's got trauma going on and my ears kind of perked up a bit LOL

(underwater just to set it apart from the rest of the post so it doesnt blend in and get confusing fndkdl) screenshot of the post i rbed where i first mentioned liking him fdsjkl

around the same time, i was having some realizations about my own experiences with childhood and family etc, and there was some other stuff going on in my life (also. the plague started so uh. that too.) that was just kind of culminating in like. A Lot of stress and fear and stuff. so seeing this character who has experienced somewhat similar things was ... comforting in a way? shared experience or something, idk. plus I've always been a sucker for misfit archetype characters, especially if they make a little family out of other misfits :')

another big part of the intrigue (because my crushes always start with a sort of 👀 phase fdsjkl, I have to think somebody is interesting in some way and want to find out More about them, and then feelings develop from there) for me was just the fact that he was Angry. like... the way I've personally learned to deal w abuse has been to always be meek and fawn. so seeing someone who went in the opposite direction, to become angry and strong and defiant instead, was SO fascinating to me and I was very curious to learn more about him.

so I looked into him more, loved what i found, related to him a bit, accidentally by some random occurrence stumbled upon some bf audios of him somehow??, wished he were real so we could hang out, thought about how I'd act around him and started to feel a little flustered about it ... it's all downhill from there once u reach that point smh 😔😔 (/silly)

for a long time i didn't really fully step into s.elfship territory w him - i dabbled a little but he wasnt The Focus™ in my brain yet. also we (as a system) have had a host change since then, so there was a previous juno that was not Me (even though we kept the same main name between us two parts), and they didn't like the guy as much as Current Me does djfkdl - theres also some ... relatively significant personality differences between the two versions of Juno, so I think Juno2.0 (me) meshes with him a lot better now than Juno1.0 did in 2020/2021

and then last year, i found and joined the s.elfship community and um. I absolutely did not mean for him to become The Main Guy and never would've guessed he would be, but... well,, we dont always plan things i suppose, feelings just happen 😭

anyways. it maybe seems kind of messed up but his ~tragic backstory~ is what drew me in initially bc it helped me feel less alone and scared when i was Going Through some pretty major shit lol. and then after that, i just kind of took the character base that pkmn had in place and ran with it to build on it and sort of make my own version of him that I could be friends with and eventually fell in love with ^^;;

TL;DR it was a mix of timing, similar history of abuse, intrigue bc of our opposite reactions to the abuse, and um... the way he is like,, strong and builds a safe place for other young ppl who feel unsafe or not accepted in general society fdsjkl

i get embarrassed talking abt it bc ppl seem to really hate it when abuse victims are weak in any way and need help, but ... i do really like that he is strong in some ways and would be able to give me a sort of safe place to let my guard down and receive help and care (as shown by the way he provides a safe place for the grunts, all the misfits and outcasts of Alola) ^^;;;; honestly kind of a Big part of it for me (and for pretty much all my s.elfship dynamics) is that he is able to protect me and care for me, because I have not like. experienced that ever. at least not properly. when your parents are the ones being abusive, you not only do not experience protection and care but you're also being actively hurt in some way by the people who are supposed to keep you safe. so to be freely given care and safety is kind of crazyyyy to me LOL, that is something i like a lot about him :')

OKAY RAMBLE OVER. i really tried to keep this as short as i could but,, brevity is not a strength of mine (esp when it comes to him) LOL. THANK YOU for the question !!! its fun to look back at how it all happened tbh :]

[georgette-mademoiselle]

Name: Georgette mademoiselle

Physical Age: 30

Height: 5'10

Fandoms: fandomless oc with her own story but is tied with kny, Castlevania ( still in progress )

Born: Wallachia

𝕭𝖆𝖈𝖐𝖘𝖙𝖔𝖗𝖞 ⚰️🥀

Raised in the dark ages where bieng born with red hair were immideatly shunned out by society as witches and Even persecuted and thus left her with having no friends or anyone to talk to all except for her mother. Her mother had completely sheltered her in her home never to see the outside world ever again for the sake of avoiding the whole village to come for her and herself. To make sure that Georgette would never walk out the door again her mother inflicted poison in her mind that nobody in this world would ever treat her like a person because she was cursed forever with her crimson apperance that the villagers would do the absolute worse if they ever saw her again and that all she needs is right here in this house because mother would protect her.

It was like this for years nothing but isolation away from the world if Georgette ever went near the door her mother would scold her and retell the awfullness of humanity that its safer here than out there. This constant negativity of the world left georgette scared and anxious not only that but she began having existential crisis of wishing she was never born at all if people viewd her as some devil child.

Her breaking point was at age 18 finally having enough of just bieng locked in and having mother treat her as some helpless child that needs to be sheltered she confronted her that all she ever did was make her feel nothing but fear of people and especially her her own mother her actions of " protection " only ever felt like bieng a prisoner. This infurated her and soon later georgettes face was met with a smack. Eyes widen with tears then bottled up rage crawled within her and shoved her out to the side to open that door but immideatly her grabbed her by the collar of her dress dragging her to her room where she would lock her there for two years now at the age of 20.

Despite everything georgette was taught since childhood she truly belived that there was good in this world perhaps it wasnt in her village but maybe just maybe somewhere out there good will and people truly existed maybe somone would actually love her crimson locks perhaps even view her as an equal human bieng and not some sorceress. Shed daydream a life that would never occur then think about it so much that shed dream of it and on this dream a handsome man apleard before her false fantasy hed listen to her woes how she feels like a burden the man would hold her close and give her his wisdom but one word stood out "one day..someday fate will bring us closer" little did she know this fate was about to become reality.

On that day she was sound asleep but just as she would soon enter the dream world her mother awoke she was in a state of panick that she had no time to explain herself and dragged her out of bed leaving out through the back door in her own words " run my child! Run and dont turn back!" It was soon realized why she was in so much fear as the yelling of blasphemy upon the villagers began rampaging through the house setting it on fire but soon somebody would see them and immideatly made no hesitation to run after them.

Her worst fears had finally come true they've come to taken them both to burn to death and so Georgette ran like shes never ran before that she even surpassed her mother she didnt care that her mouth tasted like blood or her legs giving out she refused to stop. What felt like hours of running soon her mother would become to weary of it all and soon enough she fell to her knees completely exhausted hearing the loud thud stopped Georgettes footing and turned to look at her. Genuine concern with tears overflowed for once despite everything she was still her mother and so with wobbly legs she would make her steps to get until she shouted " NO! RUN SAVE YOURSELF LEAVE ME TO THEM SO YOU CAN FINALLY BE FREE..." those words would be the last she heard before she took one last good look at her before bolting outta there as the mob reached closer with the torches flames bieng seen.

Entering deeper into the woods she would run into a man with the same hair and eye color who was out collecting wood she froze in death she thought this was the end that the man would alert the villagers to her althou she craved the thought of death she didnt want her life to end this brutal.

The man noticed she shared the same hair and eyes and soon realized exactly why she looked scared and exhausted he assured her that he wasnt going to do anything that he aswell has been hiding away from the village for the exact same reason. learning that georgette was not alone in this she felt great relief though held back tears of joy she followed the man back to his cottage where she would take shelter for the next few years.

He was however an actual witch he had been practicing ever since he vanished he ended up finding comfort in spellworks and watching the moon and so georgette became his helper in collecting herbs, moon water and other necessities she also became his housemaid cleaning around his home whenever he hadnt had the time.

With enough trust georgette would finally come to tell him her story of how life was back at home always having scornful stares bieng called devils child by the children and that her mother would eventually just keep her locked in her room so that she would never experience such ruthlesness again yet even in her own home she felt the same way as she felt about the outside world despite her mother doing it for the sake of keeping her safe she only felt terrified of her.

The man felt nothing but empathy for her and wanted to help her view the world in a different light than what she was taught. The world is not always as evil as it is there is good its just that the human nature of greed and selfishness gets in the way of ever seeing that. Finally somone that understands no more had she need to rely on her daydream this beautiful gentleman of crimson locks would share the same view that the world isnt necessarily evil perhaps one day the two would run away from this place and experience the life that they wished would give them hope of a healthy lifestyle. By this point she begged of him to teach her the arts of witchcraft and he did so.

Things where finally taking a turn for the better for georgette until she hit 30 and everything reversed back to how it was but worse.

Georgette had gone out to doing her usual routine for the next full moon of the gentlemans spells only on this particular day it was taking a long while for her to find it and when she did she would return to the cottage all burned away by the flames of torches along with the man that Georgette grew fond of.

Her world shattered right before her eyes before she could even attempt to stop it the villagers all came out in hiding and pierced her with there weapons then burning her until she looked unrecognizable. once they felt that they have purged the devil within her they would put her in a coffin and leave her to die.

She was barley clinging onto dear life but in her final moments she didnt even fought to stay alive. She was done with it all feeling betrayed of ever thinking that there could ever be good in this world was foolish now. Mother was right all along...she should have just been a good girl and stayed locked up nobody in this world wanted her alive that they had to take matters into there own hands. But most of all how foolish that man was to ever have thought of such foolishness...death was the only answer for her to have true happiness and thus just as she was about to take one last her lips where met with a gentle warm kiss and soon enough she felt her blood flowing again, her wounds slowly healing. She took a huge gasp of air she had risin from the dead.

Lifting her arms no longer pale her skin cold with bluish purple of decay. looking around she realized she was now in a dark red chambers that gave of a dark presence. She would get up and see a mirror next to her and sure enough she was no longer human.

Echoes of footsteps would be heard coming down the etheral stairs what looked like a man yet isnt walked towards georgie. A demon with a red cloak and venitian mask would greet her.

From here on now her life has been transformed to something she never would have expected she has now become the embodiment of the title that plagued her for many years except this time she held power.

The world is indeed a cruel place he told her and now she can take sweet revenge as she pleased he planted it in her mind to spill blood of your enemies shall lead you to a grander path. And so memories flashed before her eyes that rage set in looking at the demon with his grin loving this new version of her.

And so the village was no more.

And thus her adventure begins with her master the red death of pestilence along with two other friends she makes along the way boris and allen ( will eventually draw them).

𝖂𝖍𝖞 𝖌𝖊𝖔𝖗𝖌𝖊𝖙𝖙𝖊 𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖊𝖘 𝖍𝖆𝖓𝖙𝖊𝖓𝖌𝖚 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖈𝖑𝖔𝖓𝖊𝖘

They have something in common and thats both of them where shunned by society and seen as monsters

For georgette was because she was born with unique features

For hantengu was because of his mental illness that caused him to act reckless and steal things from people not to mention literally murdering his wifes and kids

Yet despite what he has done Georgette felt a sort of pity for him perhaps deep down there was a cry for help of wanting to be understood but because mental illness had yet to be understood at that time period nobody bothered to

For hantengu she had been one of the few people to have tried to understood him and be there for him in his most vulnerable of moments.

He loved having somone that understood the nature of bieng an outcast.

As for the clones? There a part of him despite there different appearance and personalities it was him regardless theyve all been through the same thing as he has

And then sekido..

Sekido was the one that reminded him of the crimson gentleman of her past he was very kind but often was quite and kept to himself that it made him look like he was in a bad mood often calling him a silent rose.

And thus she gifted him that nickname to sekido.

In conclusion all the clones including sekido have been through alot with no love only viewd as monsters just like herself and thus that gives them a bond to connect with aswell as bieng able to feel comfort in showing vulnerability when there all together

This experience also helped boost back her old views of there is such thing as good in this world

And that good is that there are people out there that have never experienced a positive life because of there upbringing so be that positive change for them

And thats exactly what happend both partys of the black sheep came together realizing that they are not alone they have each other now

[todayisafridaynight]

I largely keep to myself in fandoms, only picking up the odd friend here-and-there or joining a group chat if I'm feeling brave enough. But all of this Twitter talk is making me want to try engage with folks on the platform too! My only gripe isn't even surrounding the community, since you can curate your space like you said, it's the lack of organisation and the dreaded infinite scroll on pages. I adore Tumblr for how easy you can come back to a particular post you reblogged a long time ago, or venture through the tags on somebody's page... but it feels as though that's not possible on Twitter with how it operates. Are there any ways to get around this? 🤔

tl;dr - if you're trying to find a specific topic on someone's page, type 'topic (from:@Username)'

example: minedai (from:@Snapperoni)

if you're trying to save a post to look at later, you can either use twitter's own bookmark feature, or you can use your browser's bookmark feature

long ass unnecessary winded edition below the cut

twitter's less organized than tumblr since tumblr's meant for proper organizational blogging instead of status-update-type posts like twitter (even if its blog tag search system only decides to work depending on the phase of the moon on tumblr), so fundamentally its going to be a little more awkward with organization. there's some things you can do though, and it's not impossible: it's just a little extra work

in my experience it's a lot easier to just 'run into' new accounts and posts once your algorithm knows what you like and i prefer to use twitter that way for finding art or discussions im interested in. trusting the wind and all and the wind's done me well to show me excellent art.

you can help curate your algorithm by going into your Settings -> Privacy And Safety -> Content You See. you cant manually type in topics to add (you CAN save searches though if that's anything: it just means you dont have to type in the thing you want to search when you go to the search bar), but again once you start liking posts it'll start to recommend topics like 'Yakuza' that you can add. you can also remove topics you dont like once they show up in the list under Content You See -> Interests

another way around is to just search your interest (i.e. 'baseball') and just start liking/retweeting a bunch of posts and the algorithm will do the rest for your For You page. following accounts posting the topic you like also helps (obviouslylol)); searching terms on twitter is a fine way to see people post about a thing you like. its like tumblr in that it'll only show you posts that have the tagged word (i.e. 'minedai) in the actual post (i.e. 'if i think about minedai for more than three seconds im going to eat gravel')

at most for coming back to a post you like, you can use the bookmark feature: ive used it. A Lot. and True it gets harder to find older bookmarks as time goes on but for what it is it's been nifty for me. i dont exactly look at bookmarks any older than maybe a month at this point, so it doees its job fine for my needs. if you're on desktop and you really want to save a post without using twitter's bookmark feature, then you can always use your browser's own bookmark feature (i do that with tumblr posts sometimes. it's definitely easier to organize things that way but i also can see how it might appear cumbersome)

trying to find a specific post or type of post from someone's 50/50 though, like tumblr (because i repeat its tagging system is only so reliable sometimes). unless they use tags or you remember a particular phrase they put in the post (you can search specific terms, that including tags) then you just have to scroll i fear. other than that, if you search the term you want and the account youre trying to look through (i.e. minedai (from:@Snapperoni) then it should show up: if anything, twitter's more reliable in actually showing you the post you're looking for so long as you have the term typed correctly

and ermmmm yeah i think thats all i got LOL. best of luck to using twitter

[stellawolfearts]

Ya know how there's a bunch of myths along the lines of "if your ears feel warm or you sneeze it means someone's talking/thinking about you alot?

Wonder if wukong has spent the last week on his mountain confused and slowly loosing his mind thinking he's possibly coming down with something somehow

Wukong: ok...so according to Google I'm either dying or I'm cursed....and I can't die or get sick even, so somebody somewhere is getting an ass whooping!........also why am i looking at so much baby stuff all the sudden. Weird.

XDDD

ohmygods yeah.

wukongs entire role in aws is just, being mentioned or thought about, hes only gonna have like, one chapter in aws and it will be near the end.

ive only ever written tswukong in a secret thing im working on tottally secret shhhhhhh

hehe.

hehehehe imma do a thing. ive been itching to write these guys for a while

Disclaimer: no. not romantic. platonic affection.

as im writing this im deciding its canon, yeah this is canon now.

_________________________

Wukongs sneeze echoed through water curtain cave, startling all the creatures, big and small. a lizard jumped from the rock it was perched on and ran away from the initial noise. the poor creature scurried through the grass until it bumped into something green. it hesitated for a moment but then quickly crawled onto the dark hand, decorated in green, white and teal scales as well as green claws.

The hand slowly raised from the ground and another, mostly covered in a long flowing green sleeve inched close, its green sharp claw glistening in the light and scaring the poor lizard in the other palm. the other hand flinched away and suddenly the green claw retracted on both hands. Allowing the hand to creep closer to the small lizard and gently pat its head.

"there there, he's just a sick old monkey. nothing to be scared off"

"Distant cousin there Ao lie?" Wukongs teased, perched upon his peach tree.

Ao Lie chuckled, watching the lizard jump onto his other hand and climb his sleeve "you must be deathly sick oh great sage, your hallucinating" he smiled.

"i am not sick!" Wukong insisted, jumping from his peach tree and ont the ground.

"im just-" Wukong suddenly took a sharp breathe in and let it out in a ground shaking sneeze, making all the plant life shudder and the creatures of the cave scatter once again. Even Ao lie could feel himself be lifted off the ground for a moment before meeting the ground again.

"sick"

Wukong Suddenly threw his arms up into the air, the tall orange monkey fuming with frustration "Im the victorious fighting buddha! I dont get sick, i'm not sick in the slightest"

Ao lie tilted his head at Wukong, his long green and white hair gently rolling off his shoulders.

"A few sneezes doesnt-d-does-"

Ao lie kneeled down, and waited for Wukongs sneeze to shake the ground once again before setting the lizard down on the ground to run away and hide from the victorious fighting buddha's wrath.

"doesnt mean im sick! i feel fine, right as rain in fact!"

Suddenly a cold hand cupped his ears. Wukong froze, holding back a purr as Ao Lie massaged the area around his ear. quickly making the elder monkey relax.

"im not sick" he pouted.

"your ears are warm" Ao Lie said while pulling his hand away from Wukongs ear to place it then onto his forehead. humming as he did so.

"your head isnt warm but you might be just starting to come down with something. you should rest" Ao Lie suggested, pulling his hand away and folding his hands and sleeved togethor.

"why, i got king things to do" Wukong huffed, crossing his arms.

"ill get Nezha" Ao Lie smiled brightly. Though Wukong could practically feel the lighting strike from behind that innocent look

Wukong blinked, his fur bristling. "y-ynow what, maybe i could use a nap" Wukong stuttered, feeling the storm fade away with each word.

Ao Lie clapped his hands togethor "i win" He smiled While Wukong shook his head.

"i'll go rest in a tree, all alone" Wukong pouted, fluttering his eyes excessively. "and just, sleep way this beautiful day when there i-is-" Wukong sneezed "obviously something wrong with me and you dont want to hang out with your dear elder brother" Wukong sniffed, wiping away fake tears as he looked down at Ao lie with puppy dog eyes.

Ao Lie looked at Wukong for a moment, watching in silence as his elder brother locked onto him with pleading crocodile teared eyes.

Wukong's tail went limp, he pouted his lips further, and intertwined his hands. Looking more like a pleading child then the almighty Monkey king.

But Ao Lie didnt budge.

instead green smoke suddenly exploded around Ao Lie. Wukong gasped at the sudden smoke and breeze. Stumbling back, confused at what his brother was doing.

he was suddenly hit in the gut by a strong force, making him tumble backwards and hit something sorta squishy but also firm. when Wukong's sight was no longer clouded by green smoke he realised Ao Lie had transformed into his dragon form and wrapped around Wukong tightly.

Ao Lie looked at Wukong, a playfull smile spread across his scaly face.

Wukong huffed and wriggled himself out, then adjusted himself to curl up comfortable on top of Ao Lie.

"thanks buddy" he said, earning a huff from the dragon in reply.

"lets just hope i don't have another dream about a weird baby again"

Ao lie's head perked up, and he looked over at his elder bother with confused and concerned eyes. yet when he wanted to ask about this dream, Wukong was already fast asleep.