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flyingcookierambles · 2 years

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i think i really hate the term messy. like. ok maybe im terminally online or something but like. idk.

as an afab acearo enby who felt alienated/alone in high school by classmates/friends who had their first kisses and first crushes and stuff, and then as an adult who goes to online queer spaces only to see stuff like “REAL queers are MESSY. we have heartbreaks and yearning and sex to make us human and real queers. all the prudes are repressed and confused and stupid and they just need to have sex with someone to be real queer people. no western culture puritan virgins allowed in our community haha cry virgins and get laid or be a gross neckbread cis man/virgin incel in your mom’s basement >:D” and im like just standing there like. oh. ok. i guess i’m not a “real human being / queer”. (ngl, i would like the “being a man” part to be true, plus thanks to the awful economy i’ll probably live at home with my mom for the rest of my life wow love it!) i’m just. not interested in irl sex/romance stuff, like fanfic and romance books are ok i guess, i think the right term in aegosexual? im too introverted to go to parties or meet strangers on tinder and have like idk a one night stand or something and lose my chance at being a wizard by 30, plus although i do finally have a drivers license and my sister’s old car, im not that comfortable with driving around, so i have no transportation or anything.

still, its frustrating to see “queer” communities just be like. aphobic (or like whatever the word is for against aromantics as well, unless that just gets rolled into the term aphobic?). allo friendly only. they just dont say it out loud. they just say that “real queers are messy and have great sex all the time” (thats my impression at least)

i dont want ppl to sexualize my body bc its gross and im not on hrt or anything so i just look like a cis woman (ugh even writing that term makes me feel gross now) but i know that thats what ppl judge me at first glance as and i dont want it. tbh even if i were allo, i think that id only want to date other nb/trans ppl (the t4t tag) who hopefully wont judge me for my body. like. maybe if i were allo in some alternate universe, i would only date bi/pan or demi-sexual trans ppl who can understand my body issues and judge me more by personality (or, like, for bi/pan people, they likely enjoy all body types. hopefully. not just. “female” bodies. idk. the t4t tag tho, i enjoy it and am glad i learned about it recently, very helpful 10/10)

ugh i guess. just. as an ace person trying to mind my own business, its annoying to get messages from the crazy jesus freaks that i am a “woman” and i must “have sex” and “have kids” and then get messages from the (allos only but this part is silent) queer community that to be “queer” is to have “sex with strangers bc if you only want to do it with ppl you know/are in love with, youre actually just oppressing yourself with western purity culture and you have to unlearn it right now and jump someones pants or else you wont save yourself from your own oppression” and be “messy” and be “not boring/introverted” and “go to parties and have flings” and “fall in love = human and queer and messy and adult” and “use tinder” or something idk (also disregarding the issues of health/STI risk and/or the risk of pregnancy for afab people + shrinking access to birth control/abortion care. no. just go out. having a casual hookup with someone. dont worry about it, just go lose your virginity you boring loser)

like idk. i dont like loud parties like on all those tv shows of “real messy human lives” like euphoria or whatever. im still a virgin so i guess i’m just an immature boring child who cant talk to people, even tho im a boring tax paying 25 year old temp office worker with ~30k of college student debt. even though i am nb/under the trans umbrella, i guess that im not sexual enough for the queer community. i dont like alcohol since its dumb and expensive and doesnt even taste good. i dont do drugs bc i dont even know where to get them. like. idk maybe i can text one of my former college classmates and ask if i can get weed from him or something. (but like i dont even like the smell, its like a skunk. maybe if the smoking kind like joints only smell bad and the edibles like the brownies or cbd infused foods dont smell i’d try it maybe idk?)(does making my dovakhiin in skyrim buy and drink skooma count?)(does watching game of thrones count? lol (until that horrible dumpster fire of a last season, i dont even have the motivation to watch the house of the dragon plus i dont have hbo max or the computer space to torrent rips of the episodes, i think the 8th season of GOT just made me lose faith in any other GOT media/tv spin offs other than the actual books themselves lol))

like. idk. maybe to the “cool, mature, real adult queers” online im just a silly little confused puriteen cis girl whos just too deep in the western puritan culture (bruh i grew up atheist and, for better or worse, spent my high school years on reddit with “Very Cool Atheists” i am not religious in any way) and “we must save her from the christian brainwashing” and im just cosplaying being “queer” or im not queer enough to be one of the cool “Messy (TM) queers” and “once youre out of high school/tiktok/get freedom from your parents house, you’ll learn better and have great hookup culture/drinking parties in college dorms” (....i am out of college...) and “being human is feeling love and having a good cry after a breakup” (ok guess im a heartless loveless freak like a kingdom hearts enemy lmao???) or “get therapy lol” (i cant afford it nor do i have the time. but tbh i probably have undiagnosed depression or anhedonia or blunted emotions or something. is that Cool enough for you? does having undiagnosed depression make me Messy (TM) enough to be in your Cool Queer Clique with Adult Life Experiences like not being able to afford therapy and having mystery mental illnesses?)

ugh. just. frustrating.

ill cry alone later and go on some depression sub or r/offmychest or r/confessions or something and probably complain again later abt this idk im just like. ugh. saw 1 tweet about how the only way to be queer is to be Messy (TM) and im just like. no. no that doesnt make me feel connected to your community at all. maybe i just shouldnt use the label queer if im not a real enough person with enough of the right kind of Messy Life Experiences (TM) to fit in with your clique and then get up at 5:55 am to get ready to go to my second job/retail shift. you know. since im just a puriteen confused sexless/maidenless little girl. not a boring 25 year old afab non-binary virgin who just wants to chill and play video games and maybe not have existential crises over how boring and dull and drab and poor i am to not be able to afford to go to parties or travel the world/ “haha you dumb puritan american, just go to a different country to see others cultures lulz” (i have no money and also paid time off doesnt exist here + you have to put in time off requests like 2 weeks to a month in advance and i dont even have a passport) and try 80 different kinds of alcohol or not have one night stands with total strangers despite also watching law & order: SUV (yes yes i know its copaganda and therefore Bad) and try to not think about how i, a small and kinda flabby/unfit asian american afab, might be hate crime’d and/or murdered in someones apartment or something (like, even i were allosexual, i know that even within the queer community for allo people like lesbians and bi/pan women (whether cis or trans women or generally feminine leaning ppl) have some qualms with cis gay men community’s hookup culture)(like i think that there was some ad or concept for a dating app and one of the features was just a button that sent your match your exact location via gps. and all the comments and qrts were of afab/feminine gender leaning ppl being like “bro why”)(also thinking of that one tweet of a tiktok of a white cis woman putting some strands of hair in her uber’s car and all the comments were just like “terminal true crime brain rot” which like yeah theres issues with true crime and exploitation and also tiktok brainrot is probably definately a thing but like c’mon man can ppl not ridicule marginalized ppl for 5 seconds. yes, that lady in the tiktok was def white and probably wouldve gotten like 800 news stories about her if she were to disappear, but like if the tiktok were of a bipoc person leaving a finger nail clipping or hair in an uber car, would you have still ridiculed that person having “terminally online true crime brainrot” or would you have sympathized with them? why do reasonable worries get made fun of despite the current hostile sentiments towards bipoc/trans people?)

eh. rambles. frustrations. idk. im gonna finish this stupid book of skywind 2 for this bard relic weapon. as a “not real/queer enough” person to be considered “human”. just a boring gamer boy that lives in his/their mom’s house and has no life i guess.

(i feel that i have to clarify again that this are random frustrations i have and i might private or delete this post at some point idk. but like. idk. i dont care what others do in their private times. i just am annoyed when others views on how my private life should be gets pushed on me, whether it be by right wing religious people being like “when are you getting married to a man/having kids” or by the “Cool Messy Adult Queers”/”Real People” club being like “why havent you lost your virginity yet, youre just oppressing yourself and are a heartless loveless freak, you need to have the exact same experiences that we allos have to be considered a Cool Queer Adult with Adult Experiences or else youre just a baby puriteen” (ah the infantilization thanks as if i dont get that enough with me being a young looking asian american under 5 feet tall and being a “girl” (gag))(wait wow wee golly gee the thought just occurred to me, but am i just oppressing myself by making myself sexless? *gasp* im not enough a Good Enough asian american, what with the transracial adoption issues so i dont “act” asian american and cant speak mandarin/cantonese/Leizhou Min since i dont have anyone to teach me as a child, and the only focusing on study in high school/college and not going to parties at all. im just a sexless good student asian american stereotype and my entire existence is an offensive stereotype and i cant call myself asian american enough or queer enough to be considered part of those communities! *GASP* wow thanks (allos only) queer community for teaching me that i am a truly a failure as a living breathing thing. i cant even call myself human since i dont have enough Messy (TM) Human Experiences (TM) and my love/sex life (the only part of life that matters after all, not that probably undiagnosed mental illnesses of depression or imposter syndrome or other gender/racial identity issues) is just me reading a spicy fanfic or playing DOL (if ya know ya know lol) sometimes and is totally virtual, not attracted/interested in Flesh And Blood Real Life Humans who are Cool and Queer at all, i only enjoy cold lifeless passionless boring dull monochrome digital letters on a screen and thats not Cool or Messy or Real (Life) enough to be the right kind of Queer for your exclusive Queer club or label myself as Queer or Human or Adult. (aces can only be boring emotionless robots stereotype intensifies)(imposter syndrome over racial identity issues intensifies)(oh yeah i am still ace/aro but like if i had to pick a micro-label i did kinda learn abt aego recently and i think its just neat so yoink lol))

so. maybe i shouldnt call myself queer. idk.

Thought that we left this aphobic/let's make fun of any one whether they are a legit minor too young to go party/drink/do recreational drugs or whether they are an adult with financial issues or trapped in a rural/conservative area with no other irl queer friends who can't afford to go to the cool hip queer sex bar/night club like thousands of miles away in the city (ageism/classism/ and metronormativity all in one?/reverse virgin shaming weirdness/ Trauma(TM) fetishization (*insert that sexy depression girl in bed meme pic*) bs back in like 2013 -15 tumblr or whatever. but I guess I was wrong.

(Also shout out to the time when I got a papercut real bad in my college dorm when I was doing homework and my colleges stupid health center/school nurse closed at an early time of night and all they have in the waiting room was a bowl of free condoms but no free bandaid or period care like free pads or tampons iirc. You know. Reasonable stuff that everyone could use not just allos. Had to spy into the hallway of the office and saw a light on in a back office. Banged on the door and was playing loud music from my phone for a guy to come out. Turns out like admin or accounting for the school shared the space with the hallway/office the school nurse was in. Asked the guy if I could have a simple bandage and he said no. Too much health insurance documentation legal stuff to say that one bandage was missing for one single student with a papercut at 8 pm. Had to walk in the dark to CVS to buy my own box of bandaid. While it was a "safe college" neighborhood thankfully nothing happened, it was not a fun time for me as a short and physically weak person waking around alone at night. Still salty over that. So stupid. My college was so weird and dumb sometimes)

Edit: oh yeah remembered that in addition to being aego aro I am also touch adverse. Sure can't wait for the Cool Adults to just ridicule me as a loser lonely repressed virgin brainwashed by the western purity culture robot forever and tell me to just go touch grass or get therapy or something unhelpful and stupid.)

edit edit: its been abt 10 hours now my temper is a bit cooled down. so like to reiterate, i think that i do agree with some of the sentiment in the original original post about queer media being more than just pg fluff and stuff and queer stories can be 18+ and whatever, its just that this one guy’s reply was just. mask off. exclusionary. aces are not queer, aces are straight people. just. uuugh. anyways. a qrt by an ace person and then a thread/conversation with the aphobe who thinks that ace doesnt belong in queer. i think ill block this guy. seriously i thought that we left this ace exclusion in 2015 but i guess not.

editiedit a few more days later even more now that my head is cooled down from the rage mood i was in when i typed this earlier: yes. i agree with this that being sex neutral should be the way. like i said rambling incoherently earlier, i dont like the actual bad slut shaming puritan stuff of conservatives, but again, i dont like the virgin/”youre just a puritan!” shaming that excludes sex repulsed aces, people who have trauma or whatever about sex that prevents them from having sex, disabled people who physically for whatever reason cant have sex, etc., that comes from the mEsSy QuEeR (extroverted party-going allos only put this part is silent) community. putting sex on a pedestal or glorifying it, as one reblog tag on that post says, should not be the answer to slut shaming. its just a thing that some people do and some people don’t. like deciding to eat pizza or not. its a personal choice and i dont agree with shaming people for doing it or peer pressuring people into doing it before they’re ready. i also saw a screenshot of the “sex repulsed aces = puritans. all my ace friends would hand out water bottles at the orgy.” that everyones talking about and like. nooo??? again, this is the virgin shaming/sex repulsed aces/people with disabilities/trauma exclusion that im talking about from the toxic positivity/sex positive group. if people dont want to go to the orgy and hand out water bottles, they just dont want to go to the orgy to hand out water bottles. it does not equal being a “pUrItAn.” (also, do not invite me to hand out water bottles at the orgy, as an introvert and also a person who doesnt want to get covid19, i just dont like parties or large groups of any kind, the only exception being anime conventions with strict vaccine and mask rules.)

editeditedit: also yes

#rant lol #aphobia

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lemondoddle · 4 years

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Ok, so! For the fmk alt (and I'm gonna make it podcast themed cause ofc i would)! 1 - Elias, Simon Fairchild, Annabelle Cane; 3 - Juno, Rita, Vespa ; 4 - Dr Bright, Caleb, Chloe ; 5 - Sir Damien, Sir Angelo, Talfryn ; 7 - Eiffel, Minkowski, Lovelace!

omg julia 🥺🥺🥺🥺tysm

1) stab, shoot or drown - Elias, Simon Fairchild, Annabelle Cane

ohohohh tricky! i dont think i can drown simon on account of him being a vast avatar and he would probably just :3 at me from under the water, so while i think it would theatrically satisfying to shoot elias i think ill shoot simon, also because the idea of holding elias under the water of some grimy bathtub in a seedy motel while his suit and combover get ruined as he thrashes sounds very gratifying, so drown elias! that just leaves stabbing annabelle which i think i could do in like a really homoerotic way where we’re inches apart from each other making eye contact and its like in movies where the camera shot is just face and chest and you just see her flinch and stumble back and it pans down to the stab wound in her stomach yknow?

3) fight aliens with, fight zombies with, fight capitalism with- Juno, Rita, Vespa

for sure fight aliens with juno, as he has prior experience from dealing with miasma. fight zombies with vespa because shes a trained assassin and the more i think about zombies the easier i think it is to fight them bc theyre literally decayed corpses they are so fragile which is like child’s play for vespa probably and i might even get some zombies down and she’d be like good job and id be like thank u ///////. and DEFINITELY fight capitalism with rita she’s like the best hacker in the universe she’d cancel all student debt and redistribute the 1%’s wealth to everyone in like 15 minutes and we’d have a wonderful conversation while she does it

4) write a book with, read a book to, hit with a book- Dr bright, Caleb, Chloe

oh no im so down for two of these but i cant hit any of them with a book i care them!! if i had to i guess i would VERY LIGHTLY hit caleb with a book on like the arm bc we were probably goofing around and i had a book in hand. i would however totally write a book with chloe that would be so fucking tight because my biggest problem with writing is that i have all these thoughts but i never know how to phrase them and having someone that could read my thoughts would be a godsend. lastly, id read a book to dr bright because that woman just needs to take a long moment and fucking Relax for once, let her lay down while i read something nice and soothing because she deserves it!!

5) go on a six hour road trip with (no car radio, you choose who drives), sit next to on a six hour plane flight, sit across from on a six hour train journey- Sir Damien, Sir Angelo, Talfryn

definitely go on a 6 hour road trip with sir angelo, for both my entertainment and for the sake of the plane and train passengers because he is kinda real loud. i guess i’ll probably have to drive considering cars dont exist in the second citadel but either way having him in the car would be a hoot and he would keep me very entertained by telling me of his heroic adventures the whole time. the plane one is a bit of a toss-up between tal and damien because theyre both just so nervous and probably wouldnt take well to being on a plane but i think ill go with sitting on a 6 hour plane ride with sir damien, he’ll ask Saint Damien to bless the flight and get himself worked up and rambling every time there’s slight turbulence but its okay ill hold his hand and reassure him and let him lean on me to nap after tiring himself out from worrying. he’d also probably go “ha HA! thank you Saint Damien!!” after the plane lands and i think thats real neat. now i get to sit across talfryn on a 6 hour train ride which i think he still might be a little uncomfortable in the beginning, but i’ll ask him about the plants and ecosystems that pass outside the window and listen to him infodump about that and make for a pleasant lil trip

7) go to a wedding with, go to a party with, go to a museum with- Eiffel, Minkowski, Lovelace

ooooh i would Love to go to a wedding with lovelace as my date plus one, the actual wedding would be fine and she’d give me a lovingly teasing look when i cry because im a sappy crybaby bitch and when the bride throws the bouqet she’d catch it and give me a wink and we wouldnt even be able to go to the afterparty bc id faint right then and there. go to a party with eiffel bc he’d probably carry the conversations with people and wouldnt mind that i’djust kinda trail behind him to whole time and we’d probably just end up sitting together somewhere chatting bc while i very much adore him he’s not as suave and cool as he thinks he is but that’s okay he’d probably suggest leaving the party via obscure dated reference and we’d go get pizza and drive down the road at night windows down music blasting!. and defs go to a museum with Minkowski, we’d hold hands and id get to gush about the art pieces and she’d get to gush about history artifacts bc i think she’d be really interested in that

#long post #VERY long post #thank u julia i owe you my life for letting me self insert for like 500 words #omg i went to check it and its actually 928 words #welp #podcasts #mint-and-ink #ask the alien

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punkscowardschampions · 4 years

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Ronnie & Joe

Ronnie: pick me up Joe: rude you clearly did without me Joe: but I'll be able to do a twofer, yeah 👌 Joe: send your distress signal so I know where to point Ronnie: [wherever she's been working for a hot sec, I dread to think lol] Joe: you making a complaint about their cold-calls in person? Joe: tick off initiative on your CV Ronnie: my sides have split & it aint fuck all to the piss poor stitching Joe: see how far we can stretch your guts either side of you, fun Joe: did you self-sew or see one of your gun-wielding pals? different principle tats and triage Ronnie: then you can play a round of guess how much of this blood is mine, get yourself proper going Joe: too kind, stop me from charging the going rate for a while yet 🚖 Joe: what office supply did you use though Joe: if you were too cliche, you are going to have to sit up front and talk to me, proper cabbie punishment Ronnie: everything got nicked day 1 baby they werent about to waste any staples keeping shit on desks Ronnie: phone & a script is your lot Joe: there any drug we can act like anyone's calling it oscar on the street? Joe: you fully Joe Pesci'd someone with the phone, yeah? 👏 Ronnie: any gear that should go straight in the bin Ronnie: call it oscar Joe: you are wasted on 0 hour contracts, my dear Ronnie: not wasted enough for em Joe: join me at your local overpriced shit coffee dealer Joe: our bathrooms couldn't pass a piss test but they all only want the ⬆pers Joe: 💔 Ronnie: ill have an escort if you dont get a fucking move on Ronnie: you got enough student spends to feed coffee & doughnuts to the full force yeah Joe: say lucky you but security guards got as many hairs on their head as they got IQ points Joe: lot down Soho are decent conversationalists, unlike Daz and Gaz Joe: I did just get this terms though so hold on and you can help me 🔥 through it Ronnie: i dont get turned on by einstein & his pals mckenna thats your wank fuel Ronnie: easiest way to get a cunt off my back is to put him on his Joe: he only banged his cousin, that's nothing to waste energy on Ronnie: 💔 none of your cousins look enough like your mam for you Joe: why do you think i was searching Joe: daring to dream Ronnie: give a fuck about your nancy drew fantasies Ronnie: that schoolgirl shit is tapped Joe: the catholic schoolgirl uniforms have been overstated Joe: not all that in person, be the review Joe: nuns though, yeah Joe: enough mild peril to manage Ronnie: charlie will be gutted youve switched from homos to dykes Joe: you're the only one who's guts I wanna play around Joe: I'll break it to him nicely Joe: doughnuts, yeah Ronnie: consolation hole Ronnie: youve had shitter ideas Joe: it was yours, in fairness Joe: dunno about offering up my hole to every bloke at the met but if I put my foot down shouldn't be an issue Ronnie: i dont reckon a consolation footjob is gonna cut it Ronnie: not my first offence Joe: giving away how highly you think of my 🍑 Joe: what happened then, beyond telemarketing being worse than shitting out razorblades Ronnie: you wish you had 1 whitey Joe: says you Ronnie: if i had any curves theyd be cut off by now Joe: junkie chic before the habit Joe: some girls have all the luck Ronnie: lucky i need your bullshit heroics for this or id send you on a fools errand to sleuth the pieces out of landfill Joe: white knight > jester Joe: not my usual style, but for you I'll make an exception Ronnie: unless youre gonna say your horse fucking girlfriend dressed you the other night ive already seen it like Joe: you think her thing is budget kurt cobain? Joe: or that she's blind Ronnie: be blind by now if you catholics arent full of shit about touching yourself too much Ronnie: homesick for the horse & rejected by you Joe: what do you think its called Joe: my bets are on some boy band member she fancied when she was 11 and daddy was gutted Ronnie: or the 1st lad she wanted to meet round the back of the bike sheds Joe: you're such a romantic Ronnie: fuck off Ronnie: im thinking like a basic white bitch from kent or wherever the fuck you said Joe: you do it well Joe: no way her school had anything common like bikesheds though so knocking a point off Joe: getting fingered on the hellipad is more voyeuristic but has less of a charm about it Ronnie: write a song about it Ronnie: shes gonna be charmed by the namedrop Joe: return the favour Joe: she's making me help her with her coursework Ronnie: plaster cast of your cock and then what Ronnie: tell her you aint no hendrix & its been done Joe: charlie wishes, whitey Joe: I'll cc 'em both in about my disappointing dick Ronnie: ill pass on gaz & daz numbers Joe: god I hope the plaster ain't dried Ronnie: god aint listening to you nancy Joe: adds up Joe: that kind of dad, technically always keep an eye but going in one ear and out the other Joe: 💔 woe is me Ronnie: irish catholics aint got fuck all going on between the ears she werent in it for that Joe: fucked me up with her shit genetics then Joe: you manage to get a pen? Joe: shove it in my ear and dig it out Ronnie: pull it out of my neck & you can stick it where you like Joe: we'll let the blood piss out 'til it feels right Ronnie: im the romantic Ronnie: shut up Joe: alright, you need to be conscious to woo me Ronnie: couldve fooled me Joe: dead girls pale in comparison Joe: 💘 Ronnie: the boners you lot have got for open caskets over there i dont reckon youve ever seen a dead girl the proper colour Joe: just said you were #1 but you've got to be 1 and only, yeah? Ronnie: in your fever dreams mckenna Ronnie: i aint looking that much like your ma however much slap i put on Joe: you're prettier than her Ronnie: now you want me to drink bleach instead of having a bath in it Ronnie: make up your fucking mind like Joe: just knew that would wind you up Joe: gotta bring out some cliches Joe: you're perfect just the way you are, you know Ronnie: drop dead Joe: god willing Joe: he's being fucking slow about it, despite my best efforts Ronnie: ill give it my best shot if you keep on Joe: another one for the cv Ronnie: find it written in my blood shit & bile on this wall Ronnie: thats your girlfriends coursework aced for her Joe: beats the lecture I'm skipping out on by miles Ronnie: no shit none of em are dressed like nuns Joe: none of 'em hate me like you either Joe: so damn likeable, its a curse Ronnie: i dont wanna hear about all your teachers trying to pet you Ronnie: childhoods over golden boy Joe: and all without me getting molested once Joe: by any nuns or teachers anyway Ronnie: 💔 Ronnie: why youre such an annoying cunt Joe: abuse really humbles you, does it Joe: builds character Ronnie: gives you something to properly cry about Joe: got nothing on the shit my brain can make up Joe: idle hands and all that Ronnie: yeah youre so special baby Joe: it's just being mental or not Joe: if you ain't, you can go through whatever fucked up shit and be alright still Joe: if you're mental nothing even needs to happen and you'll be worse off Joe: some of us ain't got a chance from conception Ronnie: tell me something i dont know Ronnie: poster child for not having a fucking chance & any mental problems they wanna attach Joe: you better pay for more ad space Joe: call it karma, or dodgy genetics Joe: but I make a great case for abortion Ronnie: like i said before not one that needs to be put to me Ronnie: had more of em than youve had misery boners Joe: won't make you tell me about 'em Joe: no way you'd be as descriptive as the furious pro-lifers who act like the baby is fit to crawl out when you kill it Ronnie: hot Ronnie: shouldve called 1 of em to pick me up instead Joe: condemnation and loathing is meant to be my thing Ronnie: sharings meant to be your thing too yeah? Joe: only when it's inadvisable Ronnie: only when you wanna Joe: if you got to play oldest you'd know that's sadly untrue Ronnie: stuck being the cliche middle kid between fitz & the other one Ronnie: fucks sake Joe: seeking attention and approval because you're overlooked and under-appreciated? Joe: it's why 3 is a good number, any more and you've got multiple middle kids Joe: maybe I don't wanna fuck my mum, just missing all 3 of my own so much 🙄 Ronnie: they wish anyone could overlook me Ronnie: & you deffo do wanna fuck her so thats shit on your thesis Joe: yeah, sounds just like them Joe: suits you Joe: like the basic white bitch thing Ronnie: go fuck your mam Ronnie: im too tired for this Joe: you won't have no early start tomorrow sound of Ronnie: didnt have an early start today Ronnie: thats what kicked off this bullshit Joe: fair enough Joe: who wants a cold call at 7am Ronnie: the cunt who runs the place will be getting 1 off me til he pays me Joe: lucky him Joe: might wanna stay in your debt longer, romantic that you are Joe: attention very flattering Ronnie: what im hearing is i should tell his missus some fucking fairytale about the attention he was giving me Ronnie: everyonell be made up with the lie Joe: could do Joe: like your flair Joe: or I could come in, tell him you're mental and that he didn't make adequate allowances for you but now you're too traumatized to come back so he should just pay and we won't have to sue Joe: might get damages on top Ronnie: who are you my fucking school age carer like Joe: i'm believable, and more palatable than you outwardly Joe: anyway i look older Ronnie: than what 12 Joe: you have a baby face Joe: i look like i've not slept in as many years Joe: which is pretty accurate, as it goes Ronnie: do i fuck Ronnie: i look like ive shaken a baby to death Joe: child on child crime Joe: shocking headlines there, like that scottish girl who was fucked then got out and was someone's gran like she didn't kill a toddler Ronnie: see how palatable you are when I kick your teeth in Joe: it's a curse Joe: if you wanna lift it and be my hero instead of it being this way 'round Joe: love you forever, like Ronnie: ill lift your wallet fuck the rest Joe: already offered you my money Joe: not even a challenge, soft touch Ronnie: like youve ever been challenged soft lad Joe: go on Ronnie: youre already going on loads Joe: bet you've never heard about the traffic in this city, have ya Ronnie: fuck it ill go lay in it Joe: 😍 Ronnie: save the pillow talk for when youre offering me somewhere else to sleep Ronnie: would let you fuck me for entry to horse girls en suite if theres a bath in it Joe: where's your bed gone Ronnie: its got a hysterical homo in it whos only gonna get himself in more of a fanny flap cause ive been sacked Ronnie: ill take the wreckage of a 4 car pile up or whatever Joe: gotcha Joe: how long 'fore he calms it Ronnie: how long are you offering to spend buying him drinks & cupping his balls Joe: i get it Joe: you wanna wifeswap Joe: not just her art assignment you're interested in Joe: but you can just take my bed, I'm always falling asleep on the sofa or up the table and she'll relish at more chance to watch me sleeping Ronnie: your room got a 🔒 Joe: yeah but you're alright, it's on the inside Joe: not going to get fritzl about it Ronnie: youd need more than that to keep me in Ronnie: which youd know if you were earning off dealing with my mental problems Joe: not giving you a challenge either, don't get hysterical yourself like Ronnie: you couldnt like Ronnie: bigger pussy than your basic white girlfriend Joe: oh god stop talking about it Joe: i'll be sick Ronnie: no stomach for any kind of challenge Joe: you crack on Joe: i'll stick to 🍩 Ronnie: not so needy for some clean piss that ill be licking her out for it Joe: you should write this song for me Ronnie: whats in it for me Ronnie: got all your spends on a promise as is Joe: the fame and full writing credits, obviously Ronnie: fuck off obviously Joe: that's how we know you're not really a middle kid Ronnie: more shit you can come at your ma with Joe: I'll save it for the next holiday Ronnie: 💘 Joe: what about your dad Ronnie: i dont reckon hes up for another go on her if youre there watching Joe: 💔 Joe: i meant do you know what happened to him Joe: you might have more interesting half brothers out there, what I'm thinking Ronnie: got no interest in little fucking kids Joe: so you do know Joe: did he come find you or what Ronnie: dont get jealous nance Ronnie: did it myself like Joe: he meet your expectations Ronnie: what kind of fucking soft shit is that Ronnie: get a grip mckenna he aint rich Joe: a no would suffice Joe: though it's adorable you really kicked it like Annie over it Joe: you could've said you had none, or you expected him to be dead or worse, a useless cunt Ronnie: why would i say fuck all to you about it Joe: too painful too private Joe: gotcha Ronnie: wank over your own parents when i aint waiting Joe: the fact you've not implied I'd prematurely cum in my pants Joe: you're so full of hope it's equal parts inspiring and worrying Ronnie: get out of my face before i kick yours in Ronnie: everyone who aint gone blind can see youre a virgin Joe: don't be jealous, sid Ronnie: you cant tell your older sister what to do baby Ronnie: that aint how this works Joe: it wasn't good ever Ronnie: course youre crying about that too Ronnie: fucking hell Joe: just trying to ease your jealousy Joe: anyway, you'll be pleased to know the lacklustre results were down to my lack of trying, not theirs Ronnie: 1 less dose of the clap & i might still be fertile now thats fucking worrying Ronnie: keep your status choir boy Joe: bit cliche far as fantasies go but alright Ronnie: you started it Ronnie: trying to make me feel special Joe: no need to try is there Ronnie: not now my gag reflex has been triggered Joe: like that ain't been decimated by now too Ronnie: youre learning Ronnie: your teachersll be made up Joe: hope for the molestation yet? Joe: nice Ronnie: ease your 💔 & limp dick Joe: calm down Joe: might get attached Ronnie: do your grades the world of good Joe: you wanna help me with my homework? Ronnie: youre that shit in the sack you still wont get an a after giving your teachers a going over Ronnie: unlucky like Joe: so you can help me Joe: what else you gonna do whilst you're hiding from charlie Ronnie: use your imagination Joe: no need Joe: you'll be sharing Ronnie: cant stop you kicking the door in Ronnie: its yours Joe: just the needle, not the bed, like Joe: you're fine Ronnie: yeah youll be between horse girls sheets Joe: don't reckon she's strong enough to carry me Ronnie: only has to strap a saddle on Joe: 😂 Ronnie: fuck knows what she would fill your nose bag with Joe: the surprise is the fun part Ronnie: dont come crying to me when its oscar Joe: if she was half as interesting as you're making out, might stand a chance of working Joe: as it goes, probably be granola Ronnie: stick her thatll make her more your type Joe: come on Joe: she don't look a thing like my mother Ronnie: fucks sake when shes under get a 🔪 Ronnie: do your best like Joe: i keep telling you i'm not one for trying Ronnie: trying not to cry is as far as it goes yeah Joe: even my kiddy medicine cuts that shit off Joe: ain't been able to since I was 12 Joe: not that there was much call for it, my perfect life with mummy dearest Ronnie: the other week before you met me then Ronnie: gutted i broke your streak Joe: you sure you ain't interested in little fucking kids Joe: rearrange that sentence and Freud is having a field day Ronnie: make the effort to get here before i start to rot Ronnie: not trying to make that cunts day or yours Joe: you'd have liked him Ronnie: he rich off peddling that bullshit to the masses Joe: yeah and he reckoned cocaine was the cure for heroin addiction so he really knew a good time Ronnie: sounds like my not boyfriend Joe: oh yeah? Joe: well his grandson was cooler Joe: he fucked kate moss when he was like 70 Ronnie: anyone written a song about that Joe: maybe pete did Joe: he was a painter though so he painted her with her kit off, obviously Joe: reckon it's free for us to give it a crack Ronnie: your girlfriend painted you yet or what Joe: she wants to Ronnie: no shit mckenna Ronnie: every cunt there nearly fucking went arse over tit in the puddle she was sat in at that gig Joe: so that's what that sticky feeling was Ronnie: her juices or charlies Joe: that's called mixed media Joe: potential bio-hazard for her profs though Ronnie: worst theyre gonna get off her is thrush Ronnie: never met a bitch so clean Joe: yeah Joe: boring Ronnie: i told you to kill her last time you started being a baby about it Joe: you can have homicidal, sis Joe: boring but harmless Ronnie: cocaines harmless after heroin you & freud are still pussy enough to call it a party Joe: why it's a cure Joe: get you from comatose to semi-functioning Ronnie: she could be a cure too Ronnie: cold turkey Joe: weren't searching for a cure Joe: am i coming in or are you coming out Joe: can't see you Ronnie: cause youre comatose Ronnie: gutted this ex boss aint a cokehead Joe: not far off Joe: he your not boyfriend or is that just what we're telling the wife Ronnie: fuck off Ronnie: he couldnt fund your baby habit nevermind mine Joe: we going there first then Ronnie: yeah Joe: if we get your wages, we don't have to Joe: [come in boy] Ronnie: [a look like go on impress me by getting these wages boy] Joe: [when you can give it social worker chat 'cos what Tess does and the whole beeline of it all like you can be convincing enough that he's breaking some kind of equality law by sacking her without pay lol] Ronnie: [love that for you Joseph even if she won't let you know she's impressed and also lowkey triggered by that social worker energy] Joe: [honestly, lbr this man surely just wants you gone, won't take too much persuading] Ronnie: [literally and he's clearly in some way shady if he's 1. employed her and also 2. not called the police on her rn] Joe: [no leg to stand on sir, love this shakedown for you] Ronnie: [I bet they're all illegals and people being exploited] Joe: [its a mood, as in happens all the time esp. in cities, least you can hit him up again lads, long as he don't get y'all beaten up or something lol] Ronnie: [tbf if you do get beaten up that's a mood too] Joe: [yeah, when they find out you are not social and just taking their money lol] Ronnie: [love a scam] Joe: [the kind of nonsense have your mother rolling in her grave she's not in, love that we're starting that now] Ronnie: [I approve of the vibe, start as you mean to go on lads, all before you've made his poor flatmate wanna die lol] Joe: [poor gal did not ask for you as a flatmate let alone all this lol] Ronnie: [do you wanna skip to like when she's back and Ronnie's in his room or whatever because easy way to keep the convo going without needing it to be face to face] Joe: [works for me henny] Ronnie: [your turn to start boo] Joe: doubt she'll leave her room any time soon now Ronnie: 💔 Joe: yeah poor girl Joe: saying you got free reign, if you need anything Ronnie: i had it before Ronnie: not scared of her like Joe: nah Joe: what about charlie then Joe: or you just don't wanna upset him Ronnie: yeah terrified Ronnie: well sleuthed nancy Joe: that he'll get sick of you, maybe Ronnie: i fucking told you we aint the kind of family who get rid Joe: yeah Ronnie: dont project onto me Ronnie: we aint nothing alike Joe: i'm the one sick of them Joe: if anything Ronnie: yeah & he aint fuck all like you either Joe: I can see that Ronnie: youve seen him once dont flatter yourself Joe: and it's that obvious Ronnie: 🖕 Joe: what? Joe: i only need to know one half the equation to know we're not the same Joe: it's a compliment to him if fuck all else Ronnie: give it to him then Ronnie: hell lap it up Joe: i told you it's nice Joe: what you lot got Joe: but i'm not looking to get in on it if that's what you reckon Ronnie: take what you want pussy Joe: that's not your thing? Ronnie: what we cant both do it Joe: potentially Ronnie: dont remember you having any hesitation to share a needle Ronnie: grow a pair when youre not getting shot up Ronnie: maybe the dayll come when i dont have to spoon feed you the gear like a fucking kid Joe: i'd have to work out if i want anything but first Ronnie: yeah Joe: is it all you want Joe: the heroin Ronnie: mind your fucking business Joe: alright Joe: do you want to do my next tattoo or what Ronnie: i said take what you fucking want Joe: [come through with ink you've undoubtedly stole from your flatmate, also being more spacey/twitchy than normal like distract me gal] Ronnie: [love how old school & gross we're kicking this tattoo situation unlike when Ali does it] Joe: [which is absolutely the point, how your arms and legs don't fall off lol] Ronnie: [their other ones probably wouldn't have even healed yet cos lbr it's gonna be no time in between these interactions] Joe: [just loads of lowkey open wounds, like that isn't life anyway] Ronnie: [mhmm they'd be fucked already too cos they are so itchy when they are healing and y'all don't have chill] Joe: [all the reason for constant touch ups/ messing with so it casually never heals #mood] Ronnie: [I didn't think of that but I stan] Joe: [casual metaphor for your everything lads] Ronnie: [you know you can do anything to her tattoowise yourself Joseph she don't care] Joe: [probably doing some weird repitition moment you'd usually do on yourself which will be painful af excuse you] Ronnie: [she do love the pain you're fine] Joe: [good thing too, we're just here fucking each other up like this ain't gonna go anywhere else lolllllll] Ronnie: [way more #into it than I should be considering I don't even like when people shout lol] Joe: [you babby, they are not, obviously we're getting and taking drugs even if she's too naive to know why they're in such a state, maybe they can make a dealer come to them when they're feeling fancy/have already had loads lol] Ronnie: [take a moment to appreciate how few clothes she is wearing rn and how much that means this poor gal can and would see like we've got track marks and self harm scars for days even before you start on the tattoos lol, you're gonna get clued in before she leaves hen] Joe: [honestly props for not running home screaming tbh babe] Ronnie: [especially when this dealer comes because he ain't Drew like he should be scary af] Joe: [lowkey makes you work for it even when you're paying 'cos hates junkies] Ronnie: [at least she can basically fuck him in full view for Joe's benefit because the vibe is already there haha] Joe: [i truly love thinking about what the hell you're telling the flatmate when she leaves, she's not that stupid, also must fancy you if she doesn't report you immediately lol] Ronnie: [she definitely does that's not just Ronnie's bpd jealousy shining through like did you tell her you were related after the gig or what even Joseph what's the narrative] Joe: [also, entirely unrelated, when you bleaching your hair 'cos it looks so much better lol, anyways, he's probably had to go with a troubled sister narrative 'cos she's the type to be sympathetic and it makes sense why he'd deal from her pov] Ronnie: [that's gonna make the obvious sexual tension awkward but yeah I vote they definitely do it while she's staying because same vibe as the tattoo sesh so] Joe: [ikr, when you're blatantly fucking this will be very confusing, you should deffo only be about 1st year lol] Ronnie: [are you gonna give him another different flatmate in year 2 or like none?] Joe: [maybe for year 2 on you can still have some like a house share moment but he's the one you never see and has nothing to do with you] Ronnie: [that works definitely cos like I was just thinking how could he afford somewhere on his own] Joe: [yeah, even if we're technically employed whilst in uni by the orchestra, it's not gonna be loads, and that's how London be even if you're not a student] Ronnie: [how long do we think she should stay for this time because obvs she's coming back again and again but] Joe: [hmm, like he isn't gonna tell her to go so it's on her for how long she can deal lol] Ronnie: [just cos I'm thinking she should leave because something happens/almost does and it freaks her out because she's meant to hate him and there's only so much you can play off as doing for shock value when you're blatantly into it] Joe: [that makes sense, clearly it ain't gonna take long for that to transpire] Ronnie: [yeah a few days is what I'm imagining, but like enough that she probably thinks nothing will happen because it hasn't so far, if that makes sense] Joe: [i'm with it] Ronnie: [how far do we wanna go is always the question] Ronnie: [okay idea time, hear me out hun, what if it's like an unexpectedly pure/cute moment by their standards that happens in the day to day because the obvious would be to have them go all in when they are fucked up but like think about it] Joe: [that's what I thought too though 'cos it's more impactful 'cos it isn't as if it's gonna start with a kiss when it does for real like it's all extra and them to cover that it's about anything but being fucked up, so that would shake you both] Ronnie: [so glad we're on the same page here, like I can't think of a good example of what I mean/think should happen but] Joe: [we know the vibe, doing something vaguely domestic before realizing what you're doing] Ronnie: [so she gotta run away and nobody is gonna know where she is or what she's doing for a bit soz Charlie & Bronson] Joe: [you wanna skip to that time period now, this hasn't been excessively long or anything[ Ronnie: [we totally can because we can always skip back/add it if we think of anything else we wanna do while she's there etc] Ronnie: [I've had a potential idea how to start this so neither of them technically has to bite the bullet and go first like if you give me a rough idea what kind of thing Charlie would say e.g where are you/are you dead bitch and I'll reply here like she's in the wrong convo lol] Joe: [that's a good idea boo, probably something like you can stop hiding now and an update about whatever the fuck he's up to in his life which you can make up you know the vibe lol] Ronnie: [I was just like realistically if they were both shook by what happened neither of them are gonna be like oh hey] Joe: [yeah like it'd take him a while even if he would 'cos not just gonna let this go that easy, so it's a solid way to do it] Ronnie: a real scouse ma's meant to shout down the street when its time to stop playing about Ronnie: lazy cunt Joe: I'm only half if I'm anything, and you probably won't give me that any rate Ronnie: 🖕 not talking to you Ronnie: got the wrong gaylord Joe: easy mistake Joe: you not got his number saved? Ronnie: if this was my phone yeah Joe: newly acquired then Ronnie: mine broke Joe: my condolences Joe: wall or pavement? Ronnie: what the fuck does it matter Joe: just making conversation whilst you're here Ronnie: if youve got something to say go ed Ronnie: but if youre gonna pussy out as per it got waterlogged Joe: you dying for the uni update like my ma is a top performance, cheers, like Joe: rice didn't work or you didn't fancy eating toilet water rice after Ronnie: loads in common me & her aint just a pretty face like Ronnie: dont know what kind of fucking 12 year old in a k hole at a festival you take me for mckenna Joe: yeah, it's a shame Joe: soph says save some for the 🐎s Ronnie: cold showers work better for misery boners than they do a suspected od but these fucking amateurs aint know jack shit obviously Ronnie: shame & shameful that is Joe: I'm a better sesh companion Ronnie: ill take the 🐴 Ronnie: whole or in bits Joe: seems the possessive type Ronnie: thats your bitch Joe: who I meant but I ain't claiming her Ronnie: bet shed be made up over a uni update Joe: bold of you to assume we haven't had many delightful lunch dates whilst you've been having cold showers Ronnie: give a fuck if youve been eating her out at any time of day Joe: yeah well I'm pretty gutted you've replaced me with another newbie Ronnie: stop fucking crying Ronnie: i aint running a nursery Joe: ain't the only one sounds of your reply Ronnie: fuck off Joe: reckon he's over you getting the sack now Ronnie: not everythings about that mary Ronnie: & he aint my keeper Joe: just your mum, I got the message Ronnie: he reckons he can baby me it aint the same thing Joe: he's older than you yeah Ronnie: youve got a sister other than me dont act like you cant get your head round it Joe: not really my M.O. Ronnie: special yeah Joe: she's got a dad and another brother happy enough to oblige Ronnie: i dont need to puke up my good time Joe: thought your stomach and nerve were meant to be stronger than that Ronnie: whatever you think about me is bullshit baby Joe: just what you've put out there Ronnie: & yours is heroics just warning you this aint no od like Ronnie: aint gotta press eject Joe: you're typing Joe: don't think anyone knows you well enough to commit to the impression here Ronnie: talking Ronnie: everyone knows idle hands are dangerous Ronnie: but that dont mean i gotta keep em busy typing Joe: yeah Joe: know the feeling Ronnie: its used to my accent & everything Ronnie: more than i can say for the live cunts here Joe: you in 💘 with your phone that's dead cute Joe: its worse when you're angry Ronnie: not in 💘 with kent Ronnie: your girlfriend proper missold it Joe: fuck off are you in kent 😂 Ronnie: fucked you over if you were gonna come carry me out again Joe: acting like you didn't ask Joe: if you're going to now, do it, like Ronnie: if you dump her back home who the fucks keeping the leccy on Joe: only got a baby habit ain't I Ronnie: what so youre carrying me out & dumping me where Ronnie: anywhere near & im taking your money shithead Joe: we don't need electric Ronnie: how will you get off on me wearing your mams face in the dark Joe: would hate to waste your hard work, obviously Ronnie: what hard work Joe: liberating my mums face from her skull Ronnie: be my pleasure Ronnie: all play Joe: alright then Joe: i'll be able to keep up Ronnie: big talk for a 12 year old virgin Joe: hiding it kent you can't talk or type about it Ronnie: im not fucking hiding Joe: yeah right Ronnie: plain sight baby Joe: 40 miles Ronnie: & Joe: if you wanna play, you're gonna have to give me another clue Joe: know if i'm getting warm Ronnie: [a blurry picture clue] Ronnie: 💘 Joe: they new friends or old Ronnie: waste of a question Joe: how many do i have left Ronnie: 39 but if you need that many dont fucking bother Joe: you don't wanna disappointed so bad Ronnie: you disappoint me by coming out the same hole Joe: that don't have to matter Joe: plenty have Ronnie: yeah but i aint met the rest of your happy family Joe: you wanna Ronnie: 38 now Joe: it could've been a statement Ronnie: was it Joe: 39 for you Ronnie: 🖕 Joe: you wanted to go to the beach Ronnie: that a question or what soft lad Joe: ?* Ronnie: didnt know there was 1 Joe: it's a county you know Ronnie: how the fuck would i know that Ronnie: shut up Joe: do you wanna go to the beach Ronnie: i can drown you in the sink Joe: i didn't put you in the shower Joe: or your phone Ronnie: youd have been made up by how blue i went though Ronnie: well like a dead girl Joe: yeah? Joe: what's it feel like Ronnie: youll get your own go Ronnie: aint holding your hand forever like Joe: gutted Ronnie: you wont reckon so when you outgrow that baby habit Joe: i'd mind if you died Ronnie: give you something to cry about Ronnie: youd be fucking into it Joe: nah Joe: people who've got shit to mope on usually don't Joe: enjoy it too much don't I, can't be having it validated, takes the fun out Ronnie: most dont reckon a happy end would be cumming inside their ma Ronnie: youd enjoy having a reason to celebrate or trauma bond depending on her fucking take Joe: our mate freud would disagree Joe: she'd wear black for the rest of her life, if that's what you wanna hear Joe: but counting it as a question, 38 Ronnie: why the fuck would i wanna hear that Ronnie: be boss for her if she never shifted her bastard baby weight like Joe: 37 unless it's rhetorical Joe: i dunno what will make you feel better Ronnie: 38 wasn't a question in the first place you just counted it cause youre a cheating lil bitch Joe: what's the prize and why do you want it so much Ronnie: use your imagination fucks sake Ronnie: why do you always want your hand held Joe: waste of a question Joe: 'cos I'm such a mummy's boy duh Ronnie: if shed let you walk into the road i wouldnt be answering any of your pussy questions Ronnie: 💔 Joe: be a lot easier for all of us Joe: i'll throw myself in front of the tube, fuck up everyone's day Ronnie: ill pick myself up from kent then yeah Joe: oh so you've claimed selfish have you Ronnie: no shit nancy drew Ronnie: fitz is still crying that i 💉 you up Joe: bless Joe: you're not claiming what got me there Ronnie: cant i wasnt fucking there Joe: then don't feel guilty Ronnie: dont fucking flatter yourself Ronnie: could care less Joe: you who's trying Ronnie: taking away a question if youre gonna lie Joe: not 12, not a virgin, don't need you to hold my hand Joe: i wanted to and want to Ronnie: made up horse girl took it while i was away Joe: yeah Ronnie: get yourself checked for 🐴 aids or whatever Joe: could care less is right Ronnie: bullshit youll be gutted if you dick falls off before you put it in your ma Joe: talking about how much you do Ronnie: what are big sisters for Ronnie: ask the other one & hell stutter round how much i dont too Joe: it's not the same Ronnie: you aint special mckenna how many times Ronnie: let your ma feed you that bullshit Ronnie: & fuck knows what youve already caught from my blood Joe: bit late for warnings Ronnie: you had one first time we met like Ronnie: got eyes Joe: exactly Joe: i'm not gonna take the hint Ronnie: too subtle for you yeah Joe: if you think you could be any more blatant Joe: have fun trying Ronnie: i am Ronnie: kent dont know what hit it Joe: i bet Joe: where have you been but some strangers doss house then Joe: and that is a question Ronnie: fuck knows Ronnie: been a blur Joe: you know its about 1,500 square miles yeah Joe: remember one landmark Ronnie: you know youre only getting any fucking answers cause im coming down Joe: we don't have to play this game Joe: if you tell me where you are, you'll be picked up quicker and then you can get whatever you need Ronnie: [a location, lord only knows] Joe: alright Ronnie: for you getting high of your bullshit heroics Joe: if it makes you feel better that you need rescuing Ronnie: do i fuck Joe: then you just wanna see me Joe: either way Ronnie: shut up Joe: what's better for you? Ronnie: your money then your life Joe: very adam ant Joe: and can be arranged Joe: even though you don't have a horse or a car so I'm more of a highwayman than you Ronnie: i aint getting on your gilfriends horse i know where its been Joe: 😏 Joe: you can just admit she's more up for it than you Ronnie: admit youre fucking brain damaged Ronnie: let her be up for hand holding & playing house Joe: what are big sisters for Ronnie: beating the shit out of you Joe: look forward to it Ronnie: yeah youve missed me Joe: not afraid to say it Ronnie: write a song about it Ronnie: no names & you can play it for any bitch Joe: thanks for the hot tip Joe: kill some time on this drive Ronnie: shouldve stuck your judy in the boot Ronnie: be eye spy & red car the whole fucking way Joe: haven't put the plastic sheet down Joe: 💔 short notice Ronnie: so torch it Ronnie: i know youve always got a lighter on you Joe: what gave it away Ronnie: ive got eyes baby Joe: try not to wear it on my sleeve though Ronnie: done a shit job there Joe: why do you show yours off Ronnie: whats the point of only feeling it on the inside Joe: doing it is feeling it on the outside Ronnie: im what they fucking made me they can look at it Joe: that makes sense Joe: yeah Ronnie: what the hell are you scared of Joe: I dunno Joe: doesn't feel like fear Joe: blending in or disappearing has always been preferable Ronnie: & you have the balls to reckon im hiding here Joe: it ain't hiding if no fucker's looking Joe: easier for them and me, like Ronnie: if you gave a shit about easier you wouldnt have looked for me Joe: it was last-ditch attempt Joe: see if you were the same, like all of them too Joe: or not Joe: and you're not Ronnie: cause she ditched me Joe: maybe Ronnie: i didnt have the luxury of blending in Joe: it's not a luxury Ronnie: not when you have it Ronnie: care kids dont Joe: not at all Joe: it was a necessity to not blow my brains out and all i ended up was cracked and wishing i had Joe: you didn't have a family to not belong in Ronnie: & you did em such a massive fucking favour by not ending it all yeah Ronnie: i dont know you or fucking care & i can tell youre desperate to Joe: if she can't get over you, and she never stuck around to know you Joe: it's fuck all to do with the person and everything to do with the label Joe: son, brother Joe: you're meant to care even if life is better or basically the same without Ronnie: good fucking thing i like downers Ronnie: youd ruin an e Joe: cheers Ronnie: get over her for fucks sake Ronnie: keep saying youre not 12 Joe: didn't have that luxury Ronnie: loads more cunts willing to fuck you over Ronnie: live a little like Joe: yeah that'll make it worth it Joe: dead inspirational Ronnie: try your other sister Joe: i'm sure she'd have even more helpful advice Ronnie: take it then Ronnie: ill kill you before i give you a reason to live Joe: you know i ain't fucking looking for one Ronnie: yeah Joe: you need anything Ronnie: i didnt tell you were to get fuck all out of it Joe: apart from a lift Ronnie: what do you reckon Joe: kk Ronnie: 💘 Joe: still not healed Joe: also looks like jobn now Ronnie: anything to make you feel special baby Joe: what I reckon Ronnie: i didnt reckon ocd made you that delusional Ronnie: but when you change it to say jobs youll blend right in Joe: not quite as fitting as when johnny did it Ronnie: whats your girlfriends name Joe: i'll find one to make it fit Joe: josie or jody maybe Ronnie: 💔 no decent gear has a girls name Joe: girls like to party not nod out Joe: gutted Ronnie: ive got a lads name i get why youre confused Joe: you didn't wanna change it Ronnie: you offering up the cash Joe: bit of a waste Joe: just for the paperwork Ronnie: yeah it is Joe: you dunno what to pick Ronnie: swear words aint allowed Joe: don't matter if you're just doing it, telling new people it's your name like Ronnie: not an underage tranny Joe: right Ronnie: bit fucking late now Joe: youre attached Ronnie: i dont care Joe: yeah Ronnie: not what i hate her for Joe: it's a lesser sin Joe: and not the worst name Ronnie: if thats your way of trying to namedrop the others, dont Joe: why would I Ronnie: i dont know you cant really answer why youd do fuck all Joe: i don't need to ask if you want to know them Ronnie: like their names are gonna tell me who they are Joe: like you care Ronnie: like thats ever stopped you Joe: I can't un-find you Joe: but I'm not going to force you to meet any of them or know any more than what's been said Ronnie: no fixed address remember Ronnie: cant make it much fucking easier for you Joe: no, you can't Ronnie: stop crying then Ronnie: you can do better than a car crash Joe: do better Ronnie: yeah like washing up on the beach Ronnie: keep every cunt guessing how you died Joe: see how many beaches I can end up on Ronnie: dead romantic Joe: you can have fun with the hacksaw anyway Joe: least I could do Ronnie: you dont owe me Joe: i do Ronnie: for what Joe: for finding you when you didn't want finding Ronnie: you got the wrong bastard Ronnie: loads of others would be made up Joe: would they? Joe: regardless, I did it for me Ronnie: fuck off trying to take selfish off me Joe: 😏 Ronnie: been a few days since ive used a phone as a weapon Ronnie: keep on if you want it chucked at you Joe: you've promised better than that Ronnie: course you cant last through the foreplay Joe: alright, romantic Ronnie: you fucking wish soft lad Joe: you wish i wished Ronnie: i fucking dont Joe: alright Ronnie: keep the 🕯🌹 for your girlfriend like Ronnie: fuck all i can do with soft Joe: lighters and poppies suit me better as well Ronnie: next tattoos then Ronnie: dont know if itll look like a poppy but fuck it Ronnie: ill cut it out if you dont like it Joe: even if we avoid the sleeve, still a lot of skin to ruin Joe: are you just going over now Ronnie: waste of a question Ronnie: theres fuck all you can do Joe: what, my scribbles weren't a masterpiece compared to your boyfriends Ronnie: told you get what you pay for mckenna Ronnie: & that i dont get hard for mozart & the like Joe: weren't gonna score a symphony on you but alright Joe: no touching Ronnie: 💔 Ronnie: you & your baby habit dont score Joe: just pays Ronnie: dead comforting when i get robbed & left in a kent ditch Joe: it'll be the nicest ditch you've ever been in Ronnie: squatters rights Joe: my bed ain't comfy enough Ronnie: its the fact that its yours making me wanna hang myself with a sheet Ronnie: should say its too soft like you though shouldnt i Ronnie: gutted i fucked that up like Ronnie: we were playing so nice Joe: yeah, goldilocks suits Ronnie: unless your hair has fallen out Joe: I've not pulled it out either Joe: or soph, like Ronnie: not enough like a mane for her Joe: 💔 Joe: if only she'd have known me a few years ago Ronnie: get the family album out shell be made up Joe: shed a tear over our lack of horse Joe: sympathy fuck is better than none yeah Ronnie: the lack of me will really get her going Ronnie: had the pity eye fuck soon as i showed up Joe: she's an empath, babe, why she's so good at art Joe: lack of you might be an issue for me though Ronnie: another word for nosy cunt Joe: undoubtedly Joe: if i could sum up what was wrong with me for her I would Joe: but guess she likes the guessing Ronnie: if she was scouse shed just fucking come out with it Joe: gobshites, yeah Ronnie: what you get for having girlfriends who aint even wool Ronnie: self hatred making you go posh about it Joe: my last actual girlfriend was Ronnie: & youre claiming her Joe: not still writing songs about her Joe: well, never was Ronnie: shell still be 💔 Joe: nah Ronnie: you keep her waiting this long or am i that special Joe: you don't even know how far you've gone from london Joe: you're nearly 2 hours away Ronnie: if youre sticking to the speed limit Ronnie: stop being a pussy Joe: meet me and the car in the next ditch over Ronnie: more hand holding for fucks sake Joe: more than that if you want that lift Joe: have to drag the car out and hotwire it Joe: scrape me off the windshield Ronnie: i told you to stop getting me & what im into Joe: maybe i'm trying really hard Ronnie: far as hurting yourself goes thats the shittest way to have a go Joe: 💔 too weak Ronnie: keep your limp wrists on the steering wheel Ronnie: i wanna get out of here Joe: 😏 Joe: in a bit then Joe: got speeding to do and if you won't shut up Ronnie: youd have to try harder to make me Ronnie: that aint fucking likely Joe: only have to ask Joe: not nice or nothing Ronnie: i dont ask for handouts theyre given to me on account of all those mental problems ive got Joe: wouldn't it be nice to be the one doing the charity work for once Ronnie: if thats the only high youre offering me turn the fuck around Joe: not that daft Ronnie: your ma tell you that Joe: loads Ronnie: her judgements for shit not getting rid of us both with a hanger Joe: agreed Ronnie: dont put a kid in her shed only keep that one too Joe: still raising the last one Ronnie: like thatd stop her Ronnie: no fucking time wasted Joe: she did stop Joe: hence the 9 year gap oopsie baby Ronnie: reckon shed know what causes it by then Joe: Ireland got to her I guess Ronnie: dead keen for my invite now Joe: put it across as a valid form of contraception Joe: chlamydia Joe: they'd go for it Ronnie: worked for me Joe: postergirl Ronnie: 💔 there was no need to sew myself up Ronnie: be more fun than whichever fuck gave me it Joe: god willing Ronnie: your catholic one would be dead willing Joe: you're thinking of the wrong over-zealous christian country Ronnie: not on the right drugs for that kind of bullshit thinking Joe: 🍄 Joe: look out for cowshit whilst you're waiting Ronnie: that determined for me to see the sights yeah Joe: can't waste such an opportunity Ronnie: 🖕 watch me Joe: kent only comes calling so many times, like Joe: your choice Ronnie: shell be taking you every time uni gives you time off Joe: i'm good for it Ronnie: its well cute that you reckon youve got any say Ronnie: possessive type i heard Joe: 😏 Ronnie: she changed the 🔒 on your room yet Joe: keep you in or out? Ronnie: reckon it ended at the pity eye fuck for me & her Joe: 💔 Ronnie: yeah Joe: i'll talk her 'round for you Ronnie: fuck off Ronnie: i dont need you to translate for me Ronnie: we got the money your carer role is over Joe: it's all in the eyes, I heard you Joe: not patronizing on your deep relationship Ronnie: shut up Joe: 🤐 Ronnie: & drive faster Joe: 👌 Ronnie: fucking hell i can see why shes fucking obsessed with you Joe: if you want chat Joe: definitely in the wrong place Joe: she don't need to know my ears aren't listening to hers Ronnie: she already knows you do what youre told without talking back Ronnie: like a battered wife Joe: anything for an easy 💀 Ronnie: youre coming to the right place for that Ronnie: but i wont tell her Joe: it's not a reportable crime Ronnie: im not a snitch & i can wear shades if she tries to eye fuck her way to finding fuck all out Joe: dunno if that's enough of a disguise but I don't care Joe: a habit, she could say something about that Joe: but the rest Ronnie: what rest Ronnie: you only want a habit Joe: speak for yourself Ronnie: im echoing you Ronnie: you fucking said it Joe: you know it's not true though Ronnie: youre full of shit yeah Joe: yeah Joe: you too if you wanna pretend about it Ronnie: i dont play pretend im not a fucking kid Joe: good Joe: then you know what's happening here Ronnie: [a picture or video of whatever is happening where she is, lord knows] Joe: you don't have to reciprocate, dickhead Joe: no need to try and make me crash Ronnie: thought youd grown a set of balls & had em drop while ive been here Ronnie: what it sounded like Joe: how olds the other one Joe: he looks younger than me Ronnie: didnt do a survey Joe: I mean your mate, I don't know his name Joe: not Charlie Ronnie: 17 Joe: he must've been a baby when you met, like Ronnie: whats your point Joe: ain't got one Joe: just wondering Ronnie: youre not his type Joe: he's not mine Ronnie: stop wondering then Joe: why? Ronnie: hes fuck all to do with you Ronnie: your mam didnt push him out Joe: not trying to get to know him over you Ronnie: then why do you care Joe: same age as my brother Joe: and the girl my parents took in, one of Joe: that's it Ronnie: here we fucking go Ronnie: you said you werent gonna do that Joe: you kept asking Ronnie: cause i dont want you fucking nonce my brother Ronnie: give a fuck about yours Joe: 'cos you think I would, alright Joe: don't be stupid Ronnie: i dont know what youd do Ronnie: dont fucking know you Joe: well I'm straight and entirely uninterested Ronnie: youre also full of shit Joe: why do you give a fuck Joe: I'm only a year older, if I wanted to, I would Ronnie: why do i give a fuck that you lied to me or about him Ronnie: go ed & wonder about it Joe: it weren't a lie Joe: shit changes Ronnie: i dont wanna hear about them that aint gonna change Joe: fine Ronnie: fuck you Joe: also fine Joe: sorry, alright Joe: it means fuck all Ronnie: its not fine Ronnie: & it means im gonna be running comparisons in my head Joe: just forget about it Joe: of course they're all around my age ish, it don't mean you know any more about them Ronnie: fucks sake Joe: it don't matter Ronnie: cause you get to tell me what matters too yeah Joe: come on Ronnie: you dont or what to fucking do either Joe: then what Joe: I said it, I said sorry Joe: you do what you must Ronnie: go home & give horse girl your sorry Joe: fuck that Joe: you still need to get back to London and I'm nearly there Ronnie: i got here i can leave here Joe: bullshit Ronnie: you wish Joe: well I'm still coming Ronnie: i dont care Ronnie: youve been going on about how big it is Ronnie: stay the fuck away from me Joe: Jesus fucking christ don't be such a pussy Ronnie: you fucking wish Joe: whatever Joe: this is going nowhere right now Joe: you know where to find me when you wanna actually do something about it Ronnie: your half arsed self destruction is going nowhere Ronnie: do something about that your fucking self instead of trying to bait me Joe: I'm still on my way Ronnie: kents full of real pussys you can save Ronnie: youll 💘 it Joe: I don't give a fuck, Ronnie Ronnie: why are you crying Ronnie: you fucked me over Joe: because this is a waste of time Ronnie: youre a junkie now get used to it Joe: at least I've got that Ronnie: youre welcome baby Joe: good luck finding decent shit in kent Ronnie: not going with you dont mean im staying here Joe: but I've got mine already Ronnie: you can have selfish Joe: I told you I was bringing more for you Joe: if you can get over it you can have your share Ronnie: ill take it over it not Ronnie: *or Ronnie: you cant fucking stop me Joe: say you want me to come then Joe: i know where you are, not the other way 'round Ronnie: youre the liar mckenna Ronnie: i dont want you to be anywhere Joe: then why should I come and share Joe: that's a question Ronnie: you love heroics Joe: [show up at this point] Ronnie: [what a fun little reunion that'll be] Joe: [so, we know the vibes but also do we wanna pitch it out] Ronnie: [we totally can for our own amusement/in case a moment or something happens again] Joe: [so obviously he gets there and she's gonna be fuming hens, yeah?] Ronnie: [she gonna fight him lol enjoy that random peeps] Ronnie: [but that works cos like if someone takes that seriously instead of realising we just flirting with each other then they gotta go] Joe: [go away for some alone time to take your drugs somewhere, we voting beach] Ronnie: [yeah because realistically nobody will be there at this o clock unless they are likewise up for shady shit so it works for them as well as being romantic for us because has she been to the beach before probably not] Joe: [so unintentionallly wholesome] Ronnie: [try not to freak out immediately about that this time lads] Joe: [or OD again] Ronnie: [or freeze to death because when are you ever dressed for the weather gal] Joe: [have to stay close purely for warmth whoops] Ronnie: [can't pretend you're angry enough to be at the other end of the beach its not that deep] Joe: [shame it'll be too late to get fish n chips or something beach related but you can skim stones] Ronnie: [I wonder if there's anywhere you could break into because always a mood] Joe: [on a lot of seafronts they have those shelter moments that are boarded up you know what I mean] Ronnie: [yeah that was what I had in mind] Joe: [was that tracy beaker when jess and that girl were snuggled in there and tracy thought it was a lad lollol] Ronnie: [I loved that bit] Joe: [soz i've forgotten your name but that whole character and vibe was a mood, buzzing for the show/movie whatever they're doing] Ronnie: [a child Tess mood 100%] Joe: [fosho fosho, you're gonna have to sleep on this beach/his car 'cos not letting you drive in that state for that long yet tah] Ronnie: [we all know you're gonna be snuggling and I'm here for it, maybe you can get fish and chips in the am/when you wake up] Joe: [for breakfast lol, get all the sugary snacks as well like candy floss doughnuts, casual binge here like neither of you clearly eats much day to day] Ronnie: [healthwise you've both got bigger problems so we can allow it] Joe: [sugar high, living for unintentional wholesomeness lol] Ronnie: [love the childlike vibe always] Joe: [when I go the hunstanton with the gals, which is like, scummy seaside vibes you know, there's always rides there, but also there was like a tattoo hut where you could get actual tattoos for like a fiver and it looks so dubious lol] Ronnie: [omg that is amazing and we must] Joe: [you could get piercings too which might have him do just to mess with it] Ronnie: [we know she already has so likewise not gonna resist getting another, the more extra the better though placement wise cos we do love to shock joseph with our endeavours] Ronnie: [whack a tit out casually or whatever like] Joe: [lmao, dreading these infections hens] Ronnie: [I went to margate and all I got was this lousy tat and a persistent infection, put that on a t-shirt] Joe: [shame they only do flashes gals] Ronnie: [get some DIYing happening lads, we know that kind of thing is flirting for you] Joe: [the tension at this point like you've actually shown loads of restraint even though the opposite seems true lol] Ronnie: [lowkey not what anyone would expect of you which is why I like it] Joe: [mhmm not actually all doom and gloom even if we say and pretend it or what would be the point] Ronnie: [they'd actually be having such a lovely time and when was the last time either of them did, I'm fine about it yep] Joe: [truly, it ain't just about the drugs or any of the 'fucked up ness' from the off and that's the tea no one else be seeing] Ronnie: [mhmm and it wouldn't last how it does if it was] Joe: [connection huns] Ronnie: [the TENSION on this car journey back like don't crash tbh] Joe: [at least you can play really loud music and pretend that's distraction enough] Ronnie: [and play with your new injuries] Ronnie: [lowkey bonding even more about your love of music though we see you] Joe: [mhmm, when it's not all classical obvs 'cos you aren't Rosaline] Ronnie: [probably drop her at Charlie's hun cos otherwise something is gonna happen] Joe: [hope you brought him some rock but i know you did not lol, go make friends again, you go think 'bout your life joseph] Ronnie: [probably stole him a postcard that you've written some bants on to slide under his door] Joe: [that's cute, hilarious over-sexual postcard as they always are] Ronnie: [yeah exactly and then he knows you're back so you can talk or whatever you're gonna do to clear the air] Joe: [that's this era in general we know the vibe]

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hobisolostan · 6 years

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85 question tag thing 🏹

tagged by: @sleepbugs (ilu !!! 😙)

rules: answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 (lmao funnyyyy) people

tagging: uhmmmmmmmmmmm @libraop @justinsgf @lilchims @namugf @brightjoon @moon9oddess @joonsgoth

last:

1. drink: h2o

2. phone call: my mom

3. text message: my yearbook group chat .. its just spams from my friend cause she’s touring Europe ALONE , lucky bitch

4. song you listened to: always you - astro (stan talent !!!)

5. time you cried: two days ago ish

ever:

6. dated someone twice: no

7. kissed someone and regretted it: what is this kiss?

8. been cheated on: no

9. lost someone special: yea

10. been depressed: is this a question?

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: no

12. favorite colours: blues/neutrals

in the last year have you:

15. made new friends: yup!!

16. fallen out of love: no

17. laughed until you cried: yea ig ?? not like crying with tears streaming down my face but definitely a few tears slipped out

18. found out someone was talking about you: o yea

19. met someone who changed you: yup

20. found out who your friends are: lets not go there :)

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list: nope

general:

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl: all of them ??? stranger danger kids dont friend people u dont know irl

23. do you have any pets: skjfl i wish :((

24. do you want to change your name: no actually, as much as i hate when it gets mispronounced and not like even a tiny mispronunciation, it literally gets butchered :) , it has a lot of ties and significance to my culture which is important to me

25. what did you do for your last birthday: my friend whom i would die for (the one in Europe rn) invited me over to her place and her and two other friends planned surprised gifts and hot pot ! her mom literally paid for all the ingredients akfdskjl i love her sm :((

26. what time did you wake up today: 7 am, my body she just did it ? idk lol

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: watching a horror movie

28. what is something you can’t wait for: MONSTA X CONCERT TOMORROW AKFSJD;LF IM SO MFCKING EXCITEDDD GONNA SEE ALL MY BABIES 🤩🤩🤩🤩

29. what are you listening to right now: aint nobody takin my baby - russ

30. when was the last time you saw your mom: this morning

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom: no

32. something that gets on your nerves: narrow-mindedness, arrogance, ignorance, when ppl chew with their mouth open skfsjldfjs

33. most visited website: definitely between tumblr and youtube

34. hair colour: black

35. long or short hair: short, it’s just below chin level rn sklfjsld

36. do you have a crush on someone: u ask me when hoseok is right ... there ?

37. what do you like about yourself: uh my lips and dimples and the fact that I’m pretty self-driven

38. want any piercings: more like need ????? ive been wanting double helix piercings for the longesstttt time. might get some this year .. hopefully

39. blood type: i literally dont even know sklfjskd but its definitely a or b or ab since my parents are a combination of those

40. nicknames: utshee ? just my normal name but instead of the ending ah sound its an “e” as in the letter e lol and then ironically its usa, long back story id rather not get into lol. shira if ur reading this u know 😔

41. relationship status: married to hoseok obviously

42. zodiac: this is virgo solidarity !!!

43. pronouns: she/her

44. fave tv shows: dont really watch tv shows anymore tbh but the last good one i can remember was supernatural but its .. been awhile lmao

45. tattoos: nooooooo , i want a few small ones tho one day when im of age

46. right handed or left handed: normal regular righty

47. ever had surgery: nope, i did fracture my arm once tho when i was like uh 2-3

48. piercings: 2! just regular earlobe piercings, one on each

49. sport: volleyball, lacrosse, and gymnastics i did for a while competitively. i also love ultimate frisbee and long distance running on my free time

50. vacation: i havent been out of country since i came here to the states ksdjsdf my family just isn’t one of those that take family trips, at least out of country 😔ig my last family vacation was 2016 winter break where we drove down to las vegas and arizona to see the grand canyon. it was so damn cold omg

51. trainers: um i have superstars and two pairs of nikes that i wear on the daily. i really want some new van slip ons tho ugh

more general:

52. eating: i eat literally everything lmao, im one of the least picky eaters tbh but i prefer seafood over meat. i still like and eat meat but sometimes id just .. rather not lol

53. drinking: water !!!!!!!!!! ( i down a good 10 cups at least everyday) i also love boba so much omggg u dont understand but i really do try to limit myself 😔

54. i’m about to watch: perfect man jimin focus skdjfklsdf jimin stans raise up for ur national anthem !!!!!

55. waiting for: college apps to be over even tho they technically havent opened yet akfjds;lfs

56. want: to go into my career field with zero in debt so basically impossible but a girl can dream :(

57. get married: yea if it happens sure

58. career: medical !!! looking into anesthesiologist but im not set on anything, just wanna do Doctors Without Borders as my end career goal 😔

which is better:

59. hugs or kisses: kisses pls

60. lips or eyes: eyes bc they just convey sooo much about a person but also pls ... if ur lips are as cracked as the sidewalk outside of my house we’re never smooching

61. shorter or taller: definitely taller, also wanna be the little spoon during cuddles so yea

62. older or younger: older for sure because i look at the underclassmen and shudder in disgust bc they’re ur typical overgrown yet immature high school students. honestly dont know wtf happened to selecting genuine students to enroll into our school but skfjsdfjs im out of there in less than a year so whatever

63. nice arms or stomach: arms bc i like tummies but if u have abs i dont mind either

64. hookup or relationship: can’t really see myself doing hookups so relationship

65. troublemaker or hesitant: depends? i definitely want a playful relationship but they should know when their behavior is verging on immature so ig slightly leaning on the more hesitant side

have you ever:

66. kissed a stranger: no

67. drank hard liquor: o yeaaa, new years eve and home alone with my in-college cousin lmaoo

68. lost glasses: I LOST MY FIRST PAIR IN 5 MONTHS AND I STILL DONT KNOW WHERE THEY ARE ???? i had to buy another pair after begging my parents for a good 2 months bc the first pair were so mfcking expensive ksfjsld tbh the ones i wear right now are a lot cuter tho so

69. turned someone down: yes

70. sex on first date: no

71. broken someone’s heart: maybe ? dont know to the extent the other person liked me so

72. had your heart broken: no

73. been arrested: no

74. cried when someone died: yea

75. fallen for a friend: yea

do you believe in:

76. yourself: love urself right hahha :)) lmao im trying ig

77. miracles: hmm sure

78. love at first sight: idk depends, im neutral. definitely think theres more to it tho

79. santa claus: no, wish i was still at that age where i did

80. kiss on first date: hmm depends

81. angels: yea

other:

82. best friend’s name: i have two: one’s andreana and the other is sybil (the one who left me here to die while she went to europe yea, love that betrayer)

83. eye colour: dark brown

84. fave movie: was gonna say black panther but thats too much of a popular opinion so the ritual ?? its a horror movie which i love so much omg fljsd and it was surprisingly good ??? definitely have not said that about a horror movie in the longest time bc the newer ones are always so cringy and predictable

85. fave actor: mistre kim seokjin of course 🤩🤩

#ok before someone gives me crap abt using facebook i cant help it ???#like the only way to keep up with school announcements and stuff is through facebook like we have class pages and announcement pages #its just .. engraved into our school culture lmao #this was so long akfjsdlfs #so obviously u dont have to do this if u dont want to !!!#long post

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breezles · 7 years

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When it’s 7am on a Sunday and you’re not feeling tired enough to get any kind of sleep and feeling fucking alone; lengthy venty rant piece under the cut lmao

Why does life have to be a constant struggle? Why can’t anything ever go right, be right, just “work out”? As long as I can remember, from the time my family had to separate from the home we lived in together. My Gram with my Uncles, my Grandad in a travel trailer till he died. My Mom with her boyfriend in his house, and my Dad with a friend here and there. Constantly bouncing around every which way with no stability. It’s honestly all I’ve known up until the last 5years. Just begging for structure and ease of mind.

But even then, gradually shit began to get worse as much as I tried to keep it together, always staying positive from the beginning of this all. During the 8 or so deaths in the family literally being on one side of it in the span of 4-5years I kept strong for my mom and bro because I didn’t want them to see me cry, my brother was too young to understand everything going on, but I was just old enough to grasp the reality of the fucked up way shit was going. Let’s not get into the constant screaming and yelling from my parents and verbally and emotionally abusive dad in the beginning.

Through it all I told myself things would get better. Shit would settle down. I won’t lie it kind of did here and there, dry spells from drama and hardships. But when those hardships hit, they hit so motherfucking hard. Time and time again we some how managed to do it, Mom being the one to figure it out. Up until I got a job and right away started helping in bills and rent. I went to school got some grants and loans so I could get a car before my Moms jeep kicked the bucket and it didn’t come a second too soon. I started getting us back on track so our bills wouldn’t be shut off all the time. Water here, cable there, gas this that.

I want to say around the age 17-18 when I was living with my Dad in an apartment because Moms bf’s place had no room but a couch, so I had a room staying with Dad which I was grateful for. I want to say this is when I started feeling defeated when it was harder and harder to stay positive with so much negativity going around and things not going right. Shortly after that Dad got kicked from the apartment and I had to stay with Mom, who then moved into the place we’re in now with her bf and my bro. Since then the entire issues with the bills had come and gone, now that I sit down and keep track of the household finances each month so we never get behind on rent, all the bills are paid at the beginning of the month and no later. There’s occasional groceries we can manage to get to get us to next paydays.

Though right now, the hardships we’re facing are some of the most stressful. Despite being on top of things financially. I still have a huge fine on my car that had been and is still being driven illegally. We can’t afford it entirely up front.We can drve my bro’s now that it had just been pulled from shop but how much we can I dont know.

I don’t even know why I felt the need to write this, except that through the last 10years of my life the state of my mental, emotional, and physical health has declined. I realized that during all of this I never stopped to care about myself long enough to fix anything going on. I feel alone, I feel defeated, i’ve developed depression, after all the fucking years of keeping my chin up and saying “nothing can get me down its nothing. I’ve got this” I realize, I was just lying to myself. I’ve gained weight, I have chronic fucking pain. No insurance to see a doctor because I can’t afford it, and the IRS taking any income tax I get that would help with everything going on for those student loans from years ago. I want to pay those things off, I don’t want to be in financial debt my whole life, I want to be responsible contributing member of society...I just want structure and normalcy but I can’t get it and I don’t know where to start to even fathom obtaining any of it and nobody in my life can help me because they’re in “tough” situations themselves or have their own financial things going on.

It’s not all bad though right? I have a job, I have a roof over my head even if it’s not my own place like I’ve wanted the last 5 years but its better than the streets. I’m alive even if more days than not I wish I wasn’t sometimes. I can laugh at a funny joke, make others laugh. But as I sit here and write this, all I can do is cry and feel the need for a hug.

#breeblabs #vent #marathon life story #lmao #time for bed!!!!!#i wish i had professional help #i just #dont want to bother anyone with my issues anymore #i hate asking for help

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ashavant · 7 years

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The American University System: Oppressing the non-elite.

So let me get this straight...in the 70's there was a community outcry to lower the amount of tax money that got put towards college tuition for future generations? American tax payers used to cover over 70% of college costs, allowing the young students straight out of highschool the ability to work a minimum wage summer job to literally pay their entire tuition. Those with part time jobs while in school were not very common. This allowed for an ability to succeed without the unnecessary baggage of financial stress and lack of sleep at 18 years old while taking 14+ credits, which for those of you who dont know is a true 40-60 hour work week alone. All of this hard work and achievement paved the way for these kids to enter adulthood as educated, debt free, and with the world at their fingertips. Not to mention, they had the incredible privilege of not having to become a self sufficient adult in the middle of the worst economic crisis since the depression...

Compare that romantic reality to our drastically different reality today. I will use my experiences as an example for this, while probably on the extreme spectrum of experiences, they are valid and carry merit nonetheless. I was always told as a child, "you have to go to college, its not an option" Yet, when i graduated highschool, my parents grew quiet. I grew up in a 5 person household in Orange County, CA (one of the most expensive places to live in the country) in a family who made roughly $40k a year, give or take (thats poverty folx). My step-father was an electrical contractor so income was often spuratic. Anyway, needless to say they had not one penny saved for my college tuition. My parents failed to put a single penny aside for anything regarding my well-being honestly. With no car, no money, no job, and no idea when or how I could recieve a college education, I was kicked out of my parents at 17 years old with nowhere to go. I couch surfed and was able to get a couple jobs, one at a crafts store and one at a sandwhich shop. After 2 long years of working my way out of homelessness, all I wanted was to start college! So, at age 19 I applied for financial aid. However, I was told because I was under 25 I needed my parents tax information. Well, my parents never filed on time and were incredible dodgy with communication. So, after months of going back and forth I ended up paying out of pocket for a full time coarse load at a community college. I was able to work my jobs and pay this, but with nothing left over for rent or food. I ended up getting kicked out of my place, had to apply for foodstamps, and had to start over from square one. Little did I know I would have to wait 5 years before I could finally give college another shot.

I had almost given up the idea of higher education. I was making good money in the food industry at this point and had a nice company car and a great home with an awesome roommate. But then, I met a boy. We traveled the country for three months with his bluegrass band and saw 32 states. Afterwards, we again found ourselves broke and homeless. We hunkered down, worked 80+ hour weeks, saved up, and moved to Portland Oregon, "where young people go to retire". Little did we know, retire would be the LAST thing we did when we got there. Cost of living was rising in Portland, but still nothing compared to Orange County, CA. We got good food jobs and nested for about a year. My boyfriend (we will call him N) got great grades in highschool and high test scores in his exit exams, so in 2014 he chose to get back into school as a Music Composition Major at age 26. His journey is a whole other terrible story. I wanted to return to school so badly, but knew I had to wait until I was old enough to not warrant my parents tax info. Finally, at age 24 I filed my FAFSA and went to a career counselor. I was directed in the career of Civil Engineering. Having no prior knowledge of this career or topic, I dove in blindly headfirst. I chose a community college due to the fact that I barely finished highschool and did not take ant exit exams. To my surprise, I did very well in my college settings. After one year I was able to transfer to a university! Me! I WAS GOING TO A UNIVERSITY! I could not believe it, and was soo excited. I had no clue how hard this would be, not the work, but just surviving through it. I should mention here that I have a mild dissability. I have endometriosis which is a chronic illness linked to hormones, ovarian cysts, and all that jazz which can result in disabling pain and in my case an emergency surgery from time to time. I also suffer from a mild form of PTSD. So, with those alone handling high stress loads can be very hard on my mental and physical well being.

Ok, so I was a 24 year old first generation college student (first person in my family to go to college) disabled lower class person wanting a higher education. Seems logical right? Well, once I got accepted to the university, I chose to change my major to Architecture, I had taken an intro class for general ed and fell inlove. My beginning of my first year was great! Lots of lectures and reading. Aside from my tuition multiplying literally 3x from my community college tuition which did not affect my financial aid disbursement, I was fairly stress free. Now keep in mind, my partner and I are both working 20-30 hour weeks to make ends meet while taking 12-14 credits. Its basically having 2 full time jobs. Anyway, the last term of my first year came around-my first studio class. I was so excited! Time to actually do architecture! I got the syllabus and was told was supplies were needed to be successful in the class. I was also told that doing all of the requirements for the assignment would result in a C grade, if any grade above that was desired extra work had to be put in. I thought, no biggie, bring it on. The next thing she said was, "absolutely no sleeping in the studio!" Thats when I had a feeling I was gonna be in trouble. After class I went to the art store got my supplies. I almost started crying as they read my total to me: "$682.80, please." And that was with my student discount and not including all of the future supplies I would need just for that term, which I will tell you now after all the drawings and models ended up being about $2,000. That is a whole lot. These studio classes also require many all-nighters just to have enough time to complete the assignments. Many times, due to having to work outside of school I could not complete my assignments or had to do them with less craft and care than I would like just to turn it in. This year, I recieved less in financial aid, my rent has gone up significantly, tuition went up, and there are new grade requirements: if you get anything less than a B-, youre immediately dropped from the school of Architecture. So, not completing assignments isnt an option anymore. This last term costed my much less money, but once I told my instructor I was out of money, his response was, "well, this is Architecture school." What the fuck am I supposed to do with that!? A roll of Velum (drafting design paper) costs $50-$70 pencils are $2 a piece, models cost like $100 each, the list of tools go on and on. I am already paying $10k a year for tuition, ensuring at the very least $70k of debt including my masters degree which you need to get your Architecture license. And at least $100k with the $500 a month I need to borrow a month for rent. I should not need to add thousands more of that for supplies my school should be providing. And this insane pressure of pulling all nighters to get done the amount of assignments it would take us to do in a whole week last term in 2 days!

The moral of this very long story is that college is not meant for those of us trying to climb the life ladder. Its meant for the already elite. Its meant for kids right out of highschool with parents who make enough money to pay their tuition, their rent, their whole lives! Meant for kids who travel to Europe for the summer instead of working 60 hours a week to make up for the money lost during school cuz you physically cannot work more than 25 hours. Its meant for kids who can call their mommies and complain about how mean their teacher is, not for those of us who cry every night about being afraid of ending up back on the streets in the snap of a finger. Its meant for kids who can work and think about school all day every day, not those of us preoccupied with being able to pay all of our bills and being able to afford food and health insurance.

HOWEVER, even if you are like me, worse, or better, YOU CAN DO IT! I have a damn 3.7 GPA. I may only get 3 hours of sleep a lot, cry almost weekly, probably have lost years of my life due to stress, and feel scared for my health, but shit IM FUCKING DOOOOIN IT! Even though our government, or school presidents, and pretty much everyone in power disagrees, you are so worth it and you are so capable of success no matter how much harder you have to work than everyone else. Because we have to work so much harder now, we will get to party that much harder when we make it. I WILL GRADUATE IN SPITE OF THE SYSTEM! I WILL SUCCEED IN SPITE OF THE SYSTEM! I WILL CHANGE THE FUCKING WORLD CUZ I AM A BADASS AND CAN DO ANYTHING YOU PRIVELEDGED FUCKS CAN DO, JUST BETTER!

#university #college #university system #academic witch #academia #opression

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allons-y-to-hogwarts-713 · 5 years

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#kayla speaks #kayla tag rants #feel free to ignore #dont mind me. just crying listening to jeremy jordan sing ‘i heard your voice in a dream’ from smash on repeat #trying to distract myself from anxiety about all the ways i feel like i’m falling apart #my knee burns. my tonsil is swollen. my breathing isnt right. my teeth are crappy.#i’ve made nothing of myself. i still have no job and too much student debt. i have no drive and i’m afraid of messing everything up.#i can’t focus on anything and i’m getting even more forgetful. i constantly feel overwhelmed #even though there’s not much i should be feeling overwhelmed by and i know this but that makes me feel worse for feeling it.#i’m so stressed not knowing wtf is wrong with me physically and trying to figure it out or pretend i’m fine #but i’m even more terrified to try to find out from a doctor bc what if it’s even worse than i think #but i’m also afraid i’m making things worse by waiting and it puts me in a helpless loop.#and now santa fe prologue is on and i feel it so much. take me away from everything.#one foot boarding the train and another inching toward the track whether i want it to or not.#but i’m fine i’m fine just smile. fake it til you make it right? i’m fiiiiiine. i’m ooookayyyy. we’s good here.

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moon-dust-lust · 5 years

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I write bad stand up comedy so thanks

So nice of everyone to come tonight, on a good day I have no more than four people that look at me at one time, so this is definitely making me severely uncomfortable. I'm only 20 years old which means just like every other 20 year old I cry in the shower and use tinder. I at first thought of tinder as a great way to pick up prey as a serial killer. I watched criminal minds a kid and I watch FOX news so every predator showcased on those forums are white dudes. I am also from eugene oregon so pretty much all of tinder looks like the milk aisle. Some are organic, some are fat free and others are being fought over by two different women who will send you death threats over facebook and try and sabotage your relationship. It is just great. Anyways, I recently decided as an in debt 20 year old with too may bills to pay and a customer service job that I'm already dead inside, so if I died it'd be pretty much how it is now except I would no longer have obligations and all the guys from my high school would finally pay attention to me. My first experience was just as about as fucked as it gets. He was this hot guy, six foot, covered in tattoos. He had just moved from utah, or illinois or somewhere else unimportant. He asked me for my snapchat, which ws already a flag because he was 26 and no one except someone over the age of 12, a soccer mom that's had a little too much wine, or a celebrity uses it; but I let it slide. So he's sending me pics and it looks like he's outside. He's sitting in a tent and so I'm like, "oh are you camping? that's fun. Don't let me keep you from anything". He's all, "No I live in a tent". Come to find out he had no job, no car and was living in a tent on someone's property. He was a homeless man. Now, how I found hopefully the only homeless man on tinder is beside me, but the weirdest part is how he had a phone still and also how he thought he could pick up chicks. Like did he think as a date i would let him shower at my place? Or was he thinking my ass would get fully dressed up in make up and heels just to spend the night in his tent? Would he make me bring my own firewood and sleeping bag? My own can of beans? My experiences with men are pretty much summed up by this interaction alone. My first date ever, I showed up at this guy's house and it was infested with rabbits. I am talking ten or twelve. Then he took me up to his room to watch a movie, door open because this was high school and I had never even seen a condom before and his mom was downstairs watching something with jennfier aniston in it. His room was COVERED in pictures of his ex girlfriend. Pictures she drew of them, gifts she gave him, pictures of them together etc. SO, I was so uncomfortable but I was thinking it was probably just because he was too lazy to take them down. I was so wrong. So, so very wrong. Let me preface this by saying this was my first date, EVER. I had no idea what it was supposed to be like. He was a quarter back and he was all in shape and tan and that was pretty much all I knew about it. He had a really cliché rich white name and he was one of the only sophomores with a car and no curfew. He was a real bad boy. So after my date I got approached by his ex girlfriend at a party. She then told me that he was sending pictures of me while I wasn't looking to her and telling her how great of a time he was having and how he didn't need her. This was my first god damn date. I just cannot believe the progress I have made in the 5 years I have been dating. I never dated in middle school because i wore blue eyeliner and had a perm in the late 200s. I was really setting myself up to fail to begin with. I had one relationship that lasted three years. There is this funny thing about guys where they start out pretty normal and then after they really get comfortable they start to cheat on you and go crazy. It is just the weirdest thing. It's like the gremlins except instead of not feeding them after midnight you provide the with emotional stability and all the love in your hard. Big mistake ladies, Am I right? This guy I dated was so much fun. There was one time he told me I was absolutely perfect. He would tell me "Everything about you is perfect, except you could use a boob job". look, I will be the first to say i have the littlest titties in america, but I'll be damned if you dont appreciate them. They are like one piece of chocolate or the very back row of seats of a concert. You're just glad you got a little taste of your favorite thing, okay? I am like the bronze medal you get at a sporting event. Bitch you should just be happy you got any trophy at all. This guy was a real whackadoodle. He would cheat on me and then not let me go out with dudes, or ladies, bisexual pride woot woot, because he thought i would cheat to get back at him. But jokes on him because nobody likes me and I also didn't have any friends. I ended up breaking up with him because he was obviously terrible and he decided to stalk me. All i could think about when he would harass my family and try and show up at my school and had his parents blow up my phone is, "now you miss my lil tities?" who was gonna pay for all this shit in the first place? where did he think i was gonna get the fucking money for this? I am a broke college student, I drive a car that sounds like an eighty year old at the back of a movie theater coughing and I work at a restaurant where everyone is so stoned, it's like I'm at in the middle of portland on a saturday night. I go to the university of oregon. A very fun school, full of people who have no interest in talking to me. In their defense half the time I have my headphones in and I am crying so I guess it's just in everyone's best interest to not get into it. I am a psychology major, which I call the boring white girl major. I got into it to become a sex therapist, mostly because I am not having any and really want to find out if there's a book on how to make people not continuously reject you, but also because sex is a hard topc and I talk about it like a human urban dictionary. The worst part about the university is the talking. There was one time I had a 200 person anthropology class and these girls from a sorority who all obviously took the class together to cheat and not do anything ever, were describing their friend tiffany or gemma or some other rich fake tanned name's vomit. The color, texture, smell, everything. They were analyzing what she had eaten the previous morning and all the alcohol she mixed and all I could think was, " if you spent half as much time talking about your friend samantha's vomit as you would listening you wouldn't be failing this class and self medicating with alcohol to the point where you throw up because youre a bunch of clemintine sharp nailed looking green beans". Like i pay too much to listen to you explain the thong you bought and how it chafes your butthole when you dry hump alex from the frat across the street who is also fucking tina with the fake nose and even though he gave you clamydia six months ago, you trust him now you know? I own one bra and one pencil. I am wearing two completely different socks, one is a knee high and the other is an ankle one. Whenever I am hungry i dont go to sushi, I go to bed. So please Gretchen from Bitch, Bump &grind and beyond stop and let me at least get a C so I can land a job that makes me 12 dollars an hour and I can be poor in a different setting. I work full time and go to school. I am not like most millenials. I don't have time to eat avocado toast or catch HPV. At my little restaurant in junction city, the staff is absolutely questionable. I was the first girl there who was single and under the age of 40, so naturally I became bate for every man in society you hope you never run into in life. The first was our host. He looked like bowzer from mario if he were a white middle class man. He was shaped like a tear drop, so his head was small and oddly shaped and the rest of him just got wider and rounder as you went down. He always wore the same button down shirt, I think to try and impress me, but like it was his only button down shirt. Anyways, he is what I call the lingerer. If you are a woman who has ever had a man like you at work, you know exactly what I am talking about. He would follow around, but like at a creepy slow distance and he would stare at me until he thought i was looking and then looked away. He would also reach over or around me just so he could be close to me. It's weird and painful to watch. He also asked my sister, who also works there, if i was a lesbian because i wasnt immediately interested in him. Let me digress for a moment and say that just because a woman rejects you doesnt mean she loves only vagina. It usually means you arent a good person, or she just doesnt wanna date, or she has a boyfriend already, or you have no common interests, or she doesnt want to mix work with her personal life or maybe she has something personal against blonde guys, white guys, guys with glasses, she dated someone with your name and its weird, she has a lot of issues with touching, you have weird hands, you have bad breath, you are bad at your job, she is asexual, or THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO REASON SHE JUST DOESNT LIKE YOU AT ALL EVER. Men are so vapid about that sometimes. Anyways, he gave me a cash tip off one of my tables and I, trying to be civil was all, "oh i love free money thank you" trying to relate to him because he seemed like the type to bring a gun to work and I really wasnt in the mood to get shot or followed out to my car so i gotta keep is civil you know? so apparently you cannot be friends with sexual predators because then he gets all close and whispers in my ear "is that how I get in your pants, by throwing money at you?". The tip he gave me was only five dollars. If is ass thought having sex with me would cost only five dollars, he has no idea how bad inflation is or how much i spend on amazon a month. Also, even with my little titties and cellulite, no amount of money would let me fuck a guy who looked like barnie the dinosaur if he were a white pale ghost. I have very low standards, but they exist for sure. somewhere. deep down. The next guy i had was this old cook. he was 65 and he cooked in the morning. His wife was obviously dead, in his basement or both because he was always saying nasty things to me. He told me that if he were forty years younger he would hire me as his kid's babysitter so he could fuck me. He also told me he was extremely attracted to me and terrified of me at the same time. He one time came up to me and asked me what i had in my front seat because i was hiding something under a coat. He has rotted out teeth and children older than me. It is men like those guys that make me think, "am I really that bad to the point this is as good as it gets?

#badcomedy #standup #socially awkward #im fragile #trying my best #comedy

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parables-primes-blog-blog · 6 years

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Fuck you.

How could you have done that? How could you have been so cold, so brazen, so fucking heartless?

I dont care that you were with another guy. I know you are dating and so am I. I dont care that you went to one of our bars. You have every right to take anyone wherever you want to take them and vice versa. I don’t even care that you made out with him. Your gonna make out with people that you are with and you want to be with. That happens. Its life. Ive made out with women since we last saw eachother. Ive even been intimate with them. I know you have moved on and I am trying to do the same.

What I am pissed about is that you chose to do that right in front of me. I know you saw me inside. You knew that I was there. You saw me sitting with my friends outside on the back patio. You could have just walked over, talked to his friends(I assume thats who those people were) and then left. Thats what a decent person would have done. A decent person would have seen me and just turned around because they were with someone else and they wouldn't want to hurt the other person.

But no. You had to sit where I could clearly see you, talk to his friends, and start making out with the guy. Like for several minutes. What the fuck. Who thinks that that is ever appropirate? What kind of sick, twisted mind thinks that someone should do that infront of the person they claimed to love, that they almost started a life with? Even after years I would never do that to you. EVER.

Did you see me out in public on a date and I made out with a girl? Did you see me going to our favorite places? Cause if you did Im sorry but I NEVER SAW YOU THERE.

What the actual fuck. Is that a way for you to mark your independence? That I am no longer a person in your life? That you just dont give two fucks about me anymore?

Ive been through a lot and seen a lot as well. Ive had some terrible things happen to me but this is just the absolute worst. Possibly the most cold hearted thing anyone has ever done to me as an adult. And I once had an ex withhold medication as a form of abuse. Ive been hit, had shit thrown at me, stalked. None of that hurt as much as what you did.

I am seriously shocked that you could be so cold. Is that what you do to all of your ex’s? Just so they know that things will never happen again? I know that you think of yourself as a tough woman who doesn't need anyone, that everyone is like a student crying for a grade that they did not deserve.

Tough people don’t abuse people they know, especially ones that they used to love. Not everyone is a student of yours who you can just look down on with those condescending eyes. Tough people don’t abuse their privilege and flaunt things around people who have less than they do.

Monsters do that. People who do not care about others do that. Do you think that you are just better than everyone else, better than the man who you once talked about kids names with, how we would raise them, owning a home with? The man who worked every day to make sure you could start your company up, who covered most of rent, paid for whenever we went out, made you dinner, spent time with your family and you with mine. Who you talked about traveling to see your sister in France. Who you told stories about Uncle Bob so many times I practically knew who he was. Who cat sat for your parents so you could focus on work. Who took you to work so you could get more rest. Who flew up to spend several weekends with you in Nebraska. Who drove the U-Haul down from Nebraska so you didnt have to be stressed. Who took care of you when you were sick. Who gave you foot massages to almost every evening. The man who was taking dancing lessons before you left even though it made him very uncomfortable. The man who drove on the side so we could have the life we wanted, so you could save and pay off your debt.

I am FAR from perfect, I know that. I was messy, prioritized things differently than you did. I was overly attentive at times and I was careless with my words. I didnt follow through with all of my promises. I had night terrors and was sometimes very rude. I drank a little too much. I should have tried to break out of our rut and try new things. I wasnt in to dancing which I know you love. We were not intimate for a while and that was partially my fault. I was moody at times for no reason. You asked me to be less attentive and I was not always successful.

But fuck you. Was that the woman that I fell in love with? Did I hide that from myself for years? Did you? Again, I know that you are a strong woman and Ive always loved that about you. But holy shit. Have some sympathy for those of us who are suffering. Dont kick us when we are down. Just walk away next time, dont turn around and stab me in the heart. Be a fucking adult, not a petty child.

Just...fuck you.

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jonnyardor · 6 months

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Distorted

You could have enough money to show off and not worry about rent

Whether you own mansions or sleep in a tent

Problems dont dissolve into thin air because of salaries

Be it mental health, self-esteem or feuds with family

For me, your ugly reality was more appealing

I thought we'd stick together, you wound up disappearing

Your verdict of me pronounced without a hearing

You lost the sparkle in your eyes, I hope youre healing

Overworked, underpaid, insincere, immature

Emotionally, not dealing with your inner world appropriately

Unfortunately, looking in the wrong places romantically

God denied his victory until he aims for purity

In humility and courage, not for a false sense of security

This world feasts on heathens and spits out their bones so easily

Everything we think we own, will rot and wither equally

Love is all we have to give and get to live here peacefully

[Chorus]

Distorted-Like walking in a house of mirrors

Distorted-Falling prey to the perception

Distorted-illusions are reflected on the glass

And projected from an insecure mindset in our heads

Dont puff up your chest

Big lies made you notorious

You want money and fame,

This means more to us

We want the truth, no comfortable simulation

There's nothing inherently wrong with us

You live a lie, afraid to face your situation

Like Pinocchio smoking that Morpheus

Jesus is my savior, he turned me into a warrior

Jonny Ardor has a mission , holy man makes holy art

I dont need a man's permission, movin on my own accord

I dont keep insane traditions, dancing to my beat and rhythms

Brothers that refuse to listen, speaking to be heard and seen

All the time, a web of lies, hoping they wont realize

For real, guys? More company?

Gaining the whole world, I see

People pleaser, anxious yet charming

Not self-aware, but self-conscious and wanting

Everyone to like you when you dont like yourself

Avoiding those who love the real you and know that you avoid yourself

She was your sister when you were a real guy

Chastised and traumatized by the same parents

Laughing and crying together, facing every weather

She pulled you out of your depression when you had no ends

She was a student that managed to pay off your debt

But you were mean when you worked and she had no means

She never blamed you for her score and delayed degree

She was hurt cuz strangers knew early about her pregnancy

She was hurt because you didnt respond with warmth and glee

She was hurt because you were gossipping where she had to sleep

She needed you emotionally but you werent to be seen

Too busy for her, but my sister gets you talking on the phone

Gets you to come to the house where you happen to encounter us

Gets you to go to concerts, I heard you drove down hours

You were my lady's best man, that year you were the worst man

Saying we wont make it as a couple,

Disregarding that were shunned while we struggle

You were the black sheep too, narcisstistic mom and dad

but you're used to altering the story of your past

Now you start to confuse what is true

Fabricated history, my wife has proof

Always believed in who you are and were supposed to be

You took for granted the pure heart of your little sis

Said what you knew she liked to hear but did the opposite

You switched up on her for your in-laws who despise their brother

Us three had deep talk, they are strangers, you dont know each other

How long will you keep the lies to impress each other?

It's funny how you never argue, you lie to each other

Because they forsake their children who dont fit their picture

Once it was only us, now you chill with omnibus

Kept your bad habits, sacrificed our relationship

Lost my train of thought, mind going places like a spaceship

Remember when you used to chill with us and babysit

That one time in Hamburg, when my spouse and I saw Burna spit

While you agreed on Halloween to hold our boy and wipe his shit

Our girlfriends said that he was fussy, cried and screamed and threw a fit

We never had support like this, our baby wasnt used to it

To mom and dad not being around, our friends dressed up and held it down

He was asleep when we returned,

Respect for everyone was earned,

We talked and laughed, watching you flirt

With a girl in the kitchen, twirling her hair

The party went on, drinks did burn

Our throats, and cheeks, how did I yearn

For this time to get loose, while my son was tucked in

8 months, baby, I was burnt out and locked in

Good to have you there, to be more than a parent

Every now and then, because my life's a McLaren

Losing track of time, not control of my faculties

We have had many good times for the memories

At least you admit your mistakes, but we need an explanation

If we're not among your top priorities

There's no need for continuation

If its make-believe we grow apart, I gotta let you go

I just want apologies with accountability,

I expect loyalty and honesty,

I just wanna hug my bro and let it go

Accepting the time spent apart, Forgiveness is the start

Believing in each other again as sister and brother

Choosing to call each other after the civil war

Damned if our egos got in the way of love

Embracing our flaws, without resting in them

Your rich stepdad is still a major jerk

Love cant be bought, billionaires get divorced

If they left you for money, they werent meant for you

Your sister's happily married, showing you how it could be

She hates to argue with her man, they're tired of struggling too

Unlike your mama, who got trips and beaten black and blue

A warm embrace can heal your pain once you accept yourself

A girl can change your life, not trophies, dusty on a shelf

I stayed up at night to write these words

To express my pain and cleanse me off my hurt

A lot of things did sting and irk me

Cant we be again like JD and Turk?

Love is worth the wait and work

Just make sure that it's mutual

Cuz when they care much less about you

You will keep chasing those who keep running from you

#musician #producer #independent artist #christian blog #writer #original poetry

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akhila-aa · 6 years

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My life in Street Gangs

Day 1

1. Themes from the article:

Violence

Gang activity

Redemption

Change

Anger

~Thoughts~

I relate to Segun’s family life.

I didnt know Scarborough had gangs

Day 2

The main theme I chose to write about is Redemption. Redemption is when a change happens for the better, it is the action of regaining or gaining possession of something in exchange for payment, or possession of something in exchange for payment, or clearing a debt. In this case, Segun has gone through his struggles and problems with gangs and gang violence and has reached the stage where he is redeeming himself from that lifestyle. Segun, as a teenager was only around gangs. He didn't even know he was getting initiated in a gang, he just thought he was going to make some friends in the neighbourhood. He has lived a life in these gangs where he did things, bad things that caused himself and others around him hurt. He has reached redemption after murdering Daniel by going to several jails, such as Mapelhurst Correctional Complex, Don Jail and Fenbrook, we can start to see a change in him when he was in Fenbrook, here is where he felt alone and scared. After this, he wanted to change himself, he started to see priest and go to anger management classes to do that. After he got out of jail, he reached this stage in redemption where he started to help others by running youth programs where he educated youth on marginalization and violence. What Segun’s story is telling readers about redemption is that you don't need to be defined by your past, you can redeem yourself and create yourself a better future. You can do many bad things in your life, like joining a gang, selling drugs, lying, cheating even killing but it’s whether you decide to continue living that kind of lifestyle or you create yourself a path for redemption. I feel I can compare Segun’s life and his path of redemption to my life, I didn't do anything crazy like join a gang or kill someone but I went thorough a time in my life where I was very depressed because my dad had left my family and caused many problems. Through grade 7 and grade 8, I acted very recklessly in school, I wouldn't do my homework, show attitude to to my teachers, get into fights with my classmates. I even caused trouble at home, then one day, my mom was arguing with me to clean my room and I was not listening to her she, snapped during our argument then told me she hated the way I was acting and that I was acting like my father, this is the first time I’ve seen my mom cry. At that moment, I realized how irrationally I’ve been acting and decided to change. I started going for counseling sessions at my mom’s hospital where she works and seeing my priest as well. I learned that all this was coming from me being alone and angry because my father left, I soon found that I didn't need to be the way I am, I can redeem myself from my horrible behaviour, and I did. I became a good student, made friends back at school and I established a better relationship with my family. In that way, me and Segun has reached redemption in our lives.

Day 3:

Janet B.

says:

January 27, 2016 at 3:48 pm

Everyone has the choice to change their circumstances. That’s what this story is about. If you’re stuck in a job you hate, do something about it. Go back to school or study a trade to expand your experience. Maybe a story about a minimum wage worker that was unhappy and changed their life would get a great response. That’s a totally different topic. This story has a positive message. It seems like you might have missed that.

This comment seems to be a response to some hate that Segun has been getting for the actions he has committed. This comment caught my eye from first sentence, “ Everyone has the choice to change their circumstances”. People seem to have this idea in their head that change cannot happen, especially a drastic change like Segun’s. This is such a horrible way to think, how do you expect to everyone to be perfect? how do you expect everyone to have such pure, trouble free past?, ln life, different people get into situations that at time don't realize how bad it is, as long as the person learns from the mistakes they made and strive for a better life, I don't think people have the right to criticize your past. If you are unhappy with the way your living your life, you must change something. You may think there is no way to change it, but there always is. Like this comment says, “If you’re stuck in a job you hate, do something about it. Go back to school or study a trade to expand your experience.” Just because Segun’s story wasn't this pure, happy go lucky, I won the lottery kind of success story, they think he does not deserve the same type of praise a person typically would. The gang lifestyle is something that millions of people adopt because it is the only lifestyle they grew up around, others are forced in to it. It is very difficult for someone like Segun who was in a a gang to get out and pursue their dreams. I like this comment because it tells the people who don't like Segun’s story that his story is different but it has a positive message that anyone can take away from it. You dont need to be a deliquent to completely change your life for the better, you can change your life even if you are at a stable place in your life. In the end, its all going to depend on your happiness and how you get your happiness in life.

Day 4:

Does Segun deserve a second chance?

I absolutely think that Segun deserves a second chance. Segun lived a life where he had caused numerous people pain including himself but he still deserves a second chance. The first reason I think he deserves a second chance is because his effort of bettering himself. When he was in Fenbrook, is where he started to realize that being in jail wasn't the place he wanted to in, “I relied on the same old power structures. I used my conviction as a street stripe”. He realized that this conviction he had didn't mean anything, although he felt that he was being respected in jail, he figured out that respect was just ultimately fear. After a year, he started bettering himself by going to anger management and talking to priests, then the next six months he started writing a book about peer pressure, single-parent households, racism, low incomes, getting shunted around the education system, precarious housing. From this I see that Segun is bettering himself by educating others on the struggles he went through and giving them a perspective of his life. He has done so much since his arrest for murdering Danilo, He teamed with two entrepreneurs and received $25,000 Ontario Trillium Grant to start a trades program. If i were to read this article and see that he did not do anything to better himself or his community, I would say he does not deserve a second chance because he would just continue back to his old gang activities but he changed, If anyone is willing to change for the better and you know they are serious about it, they deserve a second chance.

The second reason I think Segun’s deserves a second chance is for his family. Segun’s family life had a big impact on him and was ultimately how he got caught up in gangs. He had a really good family life when he first moved to Canada, “My dad, Johnson, was a chemist who got his degree at the University of Waterloo and later ran a water filtration business in St. Bernardin. My mom, Mosunmola, pursued a nursing degree. Our house was huge, at the end of a long, winding driveway. We had to drive to a nearby farm to pick up our eggs, and our neighbours had two cows that I called John and Deere. For our first few years in Canada, it all went well. I won math awards at school and learned how to play chess with my sister. My dad would make me write essays when I got home—education was very important to him. He wanted me to become a doctor’‘. I feel like if Segun’s family life continued like this, none of this gang activity would have happened. After his mom died is when he started acting up in school. I feel like Segun did not know how to cope with the tragedy of losing his mother, so he decided to take his anger and sadness to the streets. I feel like this happens with alot of black men who go through these hard times, they dont know how to talk about their feelings so they join a group of boys who are most likely going through the same thing- and that how a gang is created. ‘Cops always talk about getting young black men off the streets. Stopping us before we take that first step. But they have it wrong. Nobody takes a first step into gang activity. Toronto police use the term “gang” to describe anything from four boys playing dice on the corner to a full-fledged Hells Angels crew. I don’t like the word. What they’re really referring to is a group of people banding together—opportunists without opportunities”.

Would I change my mind if Danilo Celestino was my brother?

I would not change my mind if Danilo Celestino was my brother, I still think Segun deserves a second chance. I feel like both Segun and Danilo both equally did things wrong in that situation. Danilo did stab Segun first which made Segun act and stab him back, this doesnt mean that Segun should not pay for his actions but it wasn't just his fault. I feel like Danilo is similar to Segun in a way, they both were engaging in illegal activities, they both seemed like troubled teens. If Danilo stabbed Segun more seriously the first time, he would be in the exact situation that Segun is in right now. I dont think the fact Segun had more of a bad rep should cover the fact that Danilo also made some choices that got into the situation of him getting murdered. It may sound a bit harsh and heartless when said like this but I really am thinking about the situation rationally. If Danilo was my brother and he killed Segun, I would want him to get a second chance in the same way.

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cyberdelusionphilosopher-blog · 6 years

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Can i have the Title of the car in my name with another person’s insurance?

"Can i have the Title of the car in my name with another person's insurance?

Can i have the Title of the car in my name with another person's insurance? Example: Could i have title of the car in my name but use my Parents insurance??

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I am 14 and I have a medical insurance covers my doctors appointments and my medication but at what age would I lose all that.... If I do what can I do? What covers my medication and medical appointments? By the way I'm not illegal if that helps...

I have geico insurance for Arizona. Will I still be covered if I go out of state?

I have Arizona insurance. But I might take a job in California. Will I still be covered if I move there. I don't know how long I will be. Maybe six or so. I don't want to change driver license and such over if I am not going to permanently live there. Anyone know if I will still be covered if I go out of state.

Why insurance co. do so much not to pay out a fair claim?

Insurance co. will do anything to deny your claim. They make billions a year to pay out on fair claims but never do. It is ridiculious how they have charge people all this money for coverage that they dont even provide when it is needed. They will try every trick in the book to not pay out. They also ask you roundabout questions, than have there co. take it apart word by word than deny the claim. Have any one ever think about how they have very strict laws on people commiting fraud, but shouldnt they set laws for insurance commiting fraud to? They rip off people day after day that is a sort of fraud as well. Insurance co. have been getting away with this for many years it is time that this is stopped. Funny this is we cant live without them. If you have a car you HAVE to have insurance its a must. But you dont have to have it for a home if it is all paid for. but who want to lose on investment of their home in a case of a fire. Shouldnt congress or lawmakers set some rules?""

Who thinks eligibility for car insurance/rates should be based solely on your driving record?

I read a story that says that insurance companies are trying to base their rates for car insurance on your credit rating, age, and gender etc. Is that right/do you agree or disagree with the practice, what do you think the right way is to determine insurance rates etc?""

Will my car insurance increase due to a traffic violation?

I have 2 ticket's prior last night 2 of which were speeding and last night's is a traffic violation. 1 ticket was paid for and had to do some traffic school 2nd ticket i paid for but did not go to traffic school that's when i noticed that my insurance rates went up due to a speeding ticket. The ticket from last night was infraction of a wrongful left turn from oncoming traffic should have yield. Now i will pay for the ticket aswell as attend traffic school will my insurance rate go up?

Who offers the lowest cost car insurance with 4 cars total and 1 teen driver? Good driving record in Louisiana

I currently have Liberty Mutual.

Does anyone here pay less than $2000 per year on auto insurance?

And you're under 25 years old..? If so, what company are you with? Rates are so ridiculously expensive from what I've seen.""

Car insurance any idea's ? !! :@?

Heyy people Just so anoyed i spent about 800 on driving lessons and test etc.. Now iv passed well about 6 months ago! I would really love a car as i have to get 4 buses a day to college costing about 8pd! I can afford to buy the car the mot and petrol and other little costs apart from the major issue of insurance the cheepest iv found is 1,900 and that was on a 1ltr 02 corsa i simply carnt afford the insurance its so stuipid i am the most cautious carfull driver im a 19 female why are all yound people judged on bad boys with their sportyed up cars that drive like dicks and make the rest of us suffer! Does anyone have any idea's as to how i can find cheep insurance :( ??""

Would this car make my insurance go up?

I'm thinking about purchasing a 97' Cavalier LS Convertible, would this car make my insurance go? and by how much? Also does anyone know anything about these cars? Are they good cars? Mechanically wise and gas wise. By the way, I'm 16 in case that effects your answers.""

Any suggestions on affordable utah health insurance?

Well, im working on moving back to Utah, after a near 9 year stay in PA, and i don't remember what insurance i had when i lived in Utah so i cant go back to that, and when i move away from PA, my current Health Insurance will be deactivated and shut down, so i need to find some new affordable health insurance in Utah. Anyone got in any suggestions? For now my budget is $669.00 a month if that helps at all, but it may change after i move.""

What type of insurance i need for a driving test does it have to be a full coverage?

do i need to bring a vehicle with full coverage insurance or could my car that only has a cheap insurance plan work for the DMV's driving test

What is an affordable health insurance for a 61 year old woman?

my mother needs a new helath insurance plan. any suggestions?

Which Life Insurance policy best?

Can someone suggest(help) me in advice which Life Insurance policy is best and with Tax benefits, Im planning to get a policy in future""

Can i have the Title of the car in my name with another person's insurance?

Can i have the Title of the car in my name with another person's insurance? Example: Could i have title of the car in my name but use my Parents insurance??

Which car insurance companies have you found to be cheapest for a teen?

Im 17 years-old and plan to be added to my parent's car insurance. I have good grades, took drivers ed, will be driving an older car and live in Idaho. Which company will work best for my situation? All help is appreciated.""

How much would the average cost of car insurance for a 16 year old male in ohio be?

What is a good cheap sports car for a teenager?

I just learned to drive a manual transmission so now i am interested in a more sporty car. I want something that is initially fast and doesn't require modificatons. I have a limit of about 5 or 6 grand.

Cheap car insurance for first time drivers ?

what is the cheapest car insurance company for first time drivers ? Age:23

How much insurance money do you think i can get?

Seven weeks ago i got into a very bad car accident on the freeway. I'm 15 and was NOT driving. my 19 year old friend was driving. from the accident i was rushed to the hospital with a broken arm. my left arm was very badly cracked and they said in a week they will hit it into place then put it in a cast. so, a week later i went into surgery and there was complications and my arm snapped in half and so they cut open my arm and put in a 5 inch titanium plate and 7 pins. i just got my cast off after 4 weeks. my arm is in pain all the time. and i cant do much. how much money do u think i could recieve?""

""Teen car insurance,HELP!!!!!?""

im going to get my license in december, and i want a 2008 honda civic hybrid, im going to be 16 by then, my gpa is 4.0, and im a female, live in california, and how much will be my insurance approximately if the car is under my parent's? and what do i have to bring on the day of my road test other than my permit and my drivers training completion certificate? thx""

How can i get disability insurance?

I think i need disability insurance for wife because she is disable through accident.

""How much will insurance be on a bmw 5 series 3 litre 17 year old, SECOND DRIVER!?""

im looking on how much it would be for my father to make me his second driver so I could also drive his car, it is a bmw 5 series 3 litre, im 17 year olds I have only just passed my test, please no stupid remarks/commentx""

Does my car insurance go up if I got a speeding ticket out-of-province?

So I have an Ontario license and I got a speeding ticket (15mph over - 24km/h over) in NY near the border. Keeping in mind that this is my very first traffic ticket: 1. How much am I likely to pay? 2. Does it affect my insurance? 3. (I don't really care cause this probably won't happen again) Do I lose any points?

Health insurance for dependent parent?

Am I correct that I cannot add my dependent parent to my health insurance plan at work And my dependent parent who lives in my household and has no income of their own cannot qualify for medicaid because of my income level?When applying for medicaid they ask for the household income not just the applicants income.If this is the case it is a very unfair situation for adult children who support their dependent parent.Whats even stranger is I was told that if I had a gay live in partner they could be added to my health ins policy? BUT not a parent? Is this really true?

Car accident/Insurance options?

a friend was trying to pull around a city bus that was idling for several minutes to catch a left turn on a green light ...when the bus went in closer to the curb, its backside jut out and her car swiped it she is a new driver and new to the country and she continued where she was going without stopping. pretty shook up. She claims she didn't think it was too bad, a swipe, the mirror was gone and she just took it as a loss. But when she got out, she realized there is damage all along the side, from front to back, including the mirror missing and a serious dent on the front passenger (the front is peeled back, exposing the hinge mechanism. Rain now gets in through the top as the seal is broken as well. She is insured and believes she has coverage but she's scared cause she left the scene. This was 3 weeks ago - there has been no follow up. She hasn't called the police but kept an eye out for whether or not it was reported and she needed to come forward. It was in a pretty run down part of town. Anyway - I don't know what to tell her so i'm coming here - can she report this to insurance and admit that she swiped a bus and didn't stop? Will they fix it, up her insurance, and move on or will they investigate into the bus - making her pay for the bus and having the legal issue of leaving the scene. - not sure what to tell her??? She's also considering just putting a new skin/shell on the door was affected - not seeing if this is possible though - replacing the entire door is expensive and seems unnecessary. Any insight is greatly appreciated.""

Can I get my own auto insurance?

I am 16 years old and about to buy a car. My mother doesn't drive, so she doesn't have auto insurance. Would I be able to get insurance if she doesn't have her license? If so, with what company?""

Do you need to stay with a certain car insurance for a period of time?

I need to get new car insurance but i'm short on money. Can I have one car insurance for a month or two and then switch to a new one?

Buy a car? No License or insurance?

Is it possible for me to buy a car with no license or insurance and have my dad drive it back to the house and keep it there? I dont intend on driving it untill i get it all sorted, i just want the satisfaction on knowing its there and its mine. Im from the UK""

CAR INSURANCE~with points?

if someone has 2 or more convictions on there licence, they have to declare thses, but is there a car insurance company that does not take theses convictions into account ? long shot i know but ya never know.... points were for exceeding 30 mph (34) and 50 (59)...no lectures please.....""

Car shopping???? and auto insurance?

I am planning to buy a car before school starts again.. I was shopping on craigslist.com and some cars are cheap and sound too good to be true. like this one: http://philadelphia.craigslist.org/car/741877685.html but should i go for it anyway?? should i hire a mechanic to check the car out? if so where can i find one and how much would one cost? will my insurance be expensive?, (im under 18)""

Can i drive my car without insurance for the time being in California?

I'm 16 and i just got a new car yesterday. My parent's have already added my name to their insurance, but that was before they bought me a car. Can i legally drive without insurance for the time being?""

Motorbike cheaper than car insurance?

Is motorbike insurance for learer motorcycle 125cc, significantly cheaper than car insurance for a small city car, for a young man?""

Help solve my High Car Insurance problem...?

Thanks everyone for your valuable opinions. I just purchased an '07 black Toyota Yaris with about 24 k miles. I am a 20 yr old male living in Texas. Well my insurance went sky high from my last vehichle, an old '90 clunker Geo. It went from like 100 and something to like 350! I have Farmers Insurance. What are my options on things to do??? The title of the car is in my name. I pretty much do not have any credit. My mom happened to mention something about changing the title over into her or my grandma's name...and then she could add me as a driver to her insurance. I really don't know, the situation is very confusing. Please help me know my options, I can't afford this! P.S. All insurance companies will charge me about the same givin my age, etc.""

""Car insurance, when does it drop?""

Im 19 years old, and payed $155 a month for my car insurance, a year later, no accidents tickets or anything and its $106. Definately not complaining, but i was just wondering if theres some sort of formula insurance companies use.. because i always thought when you turn 25 it goes down dramatically, but this for me is pretty dramatic. And also one year from now can i expect it to go down 50 more dollars?? thanks in advance""

Car Insurance?

How much does a demerit point affect the insurance in premium outflow? I mean if I get a point how much more would I pay in insurance per month? Also which carrier is the best for point heavy drivers? Thank you

State Farm Life Insurance... 30 year term? Whole Life? Select Term? Universal?

What insurance should I get? I'm in my late 20's and I'd like to make sure that if anything were to happen to me that my husband and son are left with enough to continue to stay on their feet. The 30 year term is affordable, but the life expectancy of my great grandparents, grandparents and parents, across the board is at least over 65. I'm as healthy as an ox now, but I know that diabetes, high blood pressure and high cholesterol run in my family. I'm very active so I have no signs of any disease related to heart disease. It's a fear that I've had since I was a kid and it's the main reason why I stay active. That being said, what should I get? I already have 2 cars and condo insurances through State Farm so I'd get something like 17% off my car insurance. I'm struggling to figure out which policy to choose. I need some insight.""

What is The Cheapest Auto insurance?

I want to find out how much auto insurance would cost. Im 16 and I just got my license. If i do get a car it would probably be an old car from around the 1990's and it would have a lot of mileage. Im looking for the cheapest answer possible. Please don't answer by saying that it depends on something or a website to look it up on.

Car insurance rate 2 driver 2 car under one policy?

I am 25 yrs old and my mom is 40 yrs old. Been shopping around for insurance and found out it is cheaper to put 2 drive and 2 cars under one policy. Is there any pros and cons in doing this? Could doing this affect me later on if i want to be under my own policy ?

What would be the best sports/muscle car for a 16 year old girl?

As far as insurance costs, gas, problems with the way the car runs -if any- what car would be best? Even old muscle cars from the 60s and 70s may be suggested as long as u have the year and car name for me, u did ur job! Thanks :) think most affortable and sporty/ muscle car look! List year too! Oh and pleaseeeeee keep price in mind! She has to pay for the whole car and everything that has to do with it....absolutley nothing over 15000 and even that might be too expensive""

Can i have the Title of the car in my name with another person's insurance?

Can i have the Title of the car in my name with another person's insurance? Example: Could i have title of the car in my name but use my Parents insurance??

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/would-insurance-greatly-different-grand-am-gt-prix-gtp-eulah-rosenda"

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punkscowardschampions · 6 years

Text

Ronnie, Bronson, Charlie & Bea

Ronnie: I'm going on a run Ronnie: who wants? Bronson: My stash is depleted for some unknown reason 🤔 please stock me up Charlie: Ooh, new year new you babe? Charlie: couch to 5k is it aspirational af 😍 Bea: ✋ me Ronnie: fuck off i just dont need you pussies crying when you can't scav my gear Ronnie: what'll it be princess? the usual Charlie: c'mon, we've always shared everything, nothing is your own #carekidlife Bronson: Ha! That'll be why the lock on my door never sticks Bea: yep, not decided to get heavily into crack since we last spoke, just lots of amphetamines in any form you find 'em, tah, got exams coming up Ronnie: Shame Ronnie: reckon I'd like you more on the hard shit Charlie: just in case you missed the old place, man, giving you that nostalgia for when you had to padlock anything that wasn't bolted to the floor 😜 Bronson: Good times! 😀 Bea: Shame I'm not trying to be your type then, I guess Bea: soz darling, spoken for 💋 Charlie: Truly, missing that tenner a week pocket money, LUXURY! Ronnie: fucking am Ronnie: pissing jobcentre Bronson: I'll add it to your tab if you're desperate as Charlie: gotta learn to play their game, babe Charlie: not throw the board in a hissy Ronnie: 🖕 doss cunts Bea: catch me here fanning myself with sweet, sweet debt for future me to give a shit about Bronson: I'll wipe it out if you use some to keep me sweet Bea: sweet enough sugar 😘 Bea: but forreal, if you could manage that I would be your sugar mama for LIFE 🙏 Bronson: It's student loans not the feds Bronson: Easy peasy Bea: true, like all branches of the gov, pretty fucking useless Bea: but I'm an immigrant as far as they concerned so they treat me SO good 😋 Bronson: Same, but we can always stretch our hands out a little further Ronnie: To jack it and pat yourself on the back at the same time, yeah? Ronnie: calm it down Bronson: New year, new look too! Green looks ace with black 😄 Bea: Clearly do not have natural rhythm Ronnie, that's really not that difficult Bea: You're not a drummer, are you? 😕 Ronnie: get off my tits all of yous Ronnie: do you want gear or nah? Bronson: 🤐 Bea: I thought you'd already gone tbh Ronnie: not trying to score that weak gay shit Ronnie: hitting up a more reliable source like Charlie: rude, i'm RIGHT here Ronnie: are you even gay fitzy? always in my pussy lad Bronson: 😷 Bea: 🤢 Charlie: idk, ask ur man 💖 Ronnie: that'll be why me and Bron's dads did a bunk Bronson: Get yourself locked up at the same time just for the d, did you? Romantic Charlie: if the porn n the stereotypes n the rate of STIs are anything to go by...love is in the air always in cell block h Ronnie: princess'll have some handcuffs to get you on your way to that good loving Bea: 🚿🧠 anyone got any bleach? Bea: Charlie isn't worth the 💰 use cable ties, more authentic Bronson: 99 🚔 My fingers are on the button....Stop for the love of god Ronnie: Bron can help you out there Fitz Ronnie: 🤓 Bronson: Take that over a thicko label Charlie: Look, babe, know you wanna tie me down forever but do it yourself, don't involve the kid Charlie: 💍 diamond or no D, soz Ronnie: Bring a needle I'll snag a gem Bronson: Don't go there, C, I'm still riding the ear infection wave Bronson: It's been 84 years Ronnie: yeah cause you're a mong that can't turn an earring Bronson: In my defense I was a legit child Bea: nothing screams low-class like stabbing your friends for the bants Charlie: and i already scream homo loudly enough, don't need another reason to be hate crime-d, a thank you Bronson: If I didn't know you I'd guess bisexual Bronson: You can have that for free Charlie: what a smooth-talker! thanks babe 💖 Charlie: and if i didn't know you, i'd guess you were trying to see my dongle Bronson: Been there, repressed the trauma o that Ronnie: get a fucking room benders Charlie: why you being so homophobic when we all know how bad you want on princess? cliche stuck in the closet much Bea: shut up Ronnie: in your wet dreams Charles Ronnie: fuck off Charlie: oh the delicious tension Charlie: too much for either to bear Ronnie: I know where she's been Ronnie: fuck that Ronnie: like you wish you could gayboy Bronson: Wait, you fancy Fraze, Charlie? Ha Bea: Bron can you not encourage either of them Bea: thanks Bronson: Sorry my mind's just blown I thought he was out of his straight boy phase Charlie: What? Its a compliment for you, he's adorable, why else would you be with him? Ronnie: they're both annoying cunts Ronnie: match made Charlie: and never out of that phase, bro 😍 #daddyissues Bea: get his name out of your mouth bitch Ronnie: oi get your mouth off his dick Fitzgerald you heard her Ronnie: princess is raging like Ronnie: when your mans a slag and youre a prude Bea: As if Bea: Only one McKenna fucked up to go near you Bea: #singletear Charlie: Children, enough Ronnie: Bron do that final 9 she's going off 😂 Bronson: Walking away Bea: know you're hard up but as per we're all funding you getting your rocks off so run along and do it, no need to bore me trying to get your kicks Ronnie: know youre a snobby cunt but I don't work for you Bea: you don't work for anyone, not even JC gonna fund your lack of a life Ronnie: 🖕 mad cause I don't need reddies to fund myself Bea: yeah fuming Bea: if only I'd have thought of selling my body, wouldn't even NEED to be at cambs rn omg Ronnie: nailed it Bea: 😂 Bea: whodathunkit Bea: talking to the cure for cancer stuck inside a waster here Bea: and I'm the snob, okay Ronnie: fucking hell Ronnie: devvo like Bea: We can tell Bea: you don't need to shout about it, you've got the energy of a walking wasteland Ronnie: can't wait until you take some more speed and get more smug Bea: Right? Bea: Must sting, better only getting better Bea: why don't you get something to numb the pain- Ronnie: let you know how it feels when the lads come up Bronson: A rare compliment, you hitting it already? Ronnie: you'll have your share calm the fuck down Charlie: i don't want any, i'm busy Charlie: glad you all noted my silence, feel so listened to usually! hmpf Ronnie: so now you're a little bitch too Ronnie: fuck's sake Bronson: PARTY TIME, am I right? Really in the mood now thanks everyone Charlie: who's in who's pussy, dollface? Charlie: keep your shirt on, Bro 😂 got enough with the two angry feminists here Charlie: I've got previous plans, if you're really so hurt, you can save me some, no? Whaddya mean that'd hurt more? 😏 Bea: you're alright, I personally rather you weren't there, suits me 😘 Bronson: Shirts already off, too late 😜 Bea: Standard 👌 Charlie: you big man whore Charlie: when i'm not around to be predatory, too, tuttut Bronson: I'd wilt under your stare, you know you aren't missing out Charlie: our beautiful wallflower Charlie: I bagsy being a red rose, lil trashy but iconic Bronson: Thorn in our sides Bronson: accepted Bea: Nice one, babe Bea: i'll be an orchid, because i'm beautiful, ornamental and high-maintenance Bea: getting in there before any of you fucks can Charlie: though your silence IS noted, wonwon Charlie: don't be cross at me 😘 Ronnie: fuck off Ronnie: you're not the only one who's busy Ronnie: got a dick in my mouth too like Charlie: such a skilled multitasker Charlie: teach me your ways Bronson: in private please Bronson: not a lesson I want to learn Bea: we're not living in that teen movie Ronnie: On my way Bea: 👍 getting cash out, meet you there Bronson: Doors on the latch

Bea: Morning sweetness 😴 Bea: manage to recover your good vibe/night? Bronson: is it? 😪 Bronson: Until now it wasn't too bad Bronson: Do you get to say the same or is it pure suffering? Bea: Wow, when you hit bae up with that morning text and he's like day=ruined 😰 thought we was forever 😉 Bea: Decided to get off with someone around the same time I lost track of yous, so it was fucking awful, don't tell me you coulda told me that Bronson: It's only the comedown I wanna dump you're welcome to come and nap 💗 Bronson: Not to be that know it all Bea: Molly's such a cruel, cruel mistress, she wants you to miss her when she's gone 💁 Bea: Poor bubba, better than waking up next to that pushy bitch from last night though, Jesus, what was her damage? Bea: I reckon he'd actually gone out and had his drunken kebab and THEN PAID TO GET BACK IN Bea: No sir, not alright Bea: Why do I bother? Bronson: But I'm shamelessly smitten, only girl for besides present company like Bronson: Whatever it is she's not the first or last sufferer Bronson: Thanks for the bail out and sorry I wasn't there to do the same with kebab Kev Bea: N'awwh 💞 glad I hold more appeal than Tina, don't need to be going down that route Bea: It's an epidemic! Basic bitches who can't get a man willing, yeah take that out on innocent onlookers who ain't buying and talk about how your ex ain't shit for being a creepy letch Bea: We see you sweets 💅 Bea: Any time, even if you weren't there to take that donner breath bullet Bea: I'd never ask that of anyone, even Ronnie, though she'd brag about not being arsed, I'm sure 😂 Bronson: Next time I'll carry gum and throw it at whoever you deem worthy Bronson: Give me the nod Bronson: It was all over her socials like we had a good night together until I got there first Bronson: Rather take out Tina and all her mates Bea: as if you don't already Bea: if only little miss would-be-rapist knew that strong jawline was from gurning up a storm 😉 Bea: not so sexy now Bronson: there's nothing in my pockets I'm just pleased to see you Bronson: Seriously though, some of those selfies had to go for that unflattering reason alone taking into account none of her other antics Bronson: I looked a state Bea: 😂 not fallen for that one before but i'll make an exception for you boo Bea: catch me in my duvet cocoon, please don't look at me 'cos same Bea: I dread to think Bea: kept off my accounts for that reason and many more, some of us have reputations to uphold, skank Bronson: want me to check Bronson: clean up the carnage Bronson: Then brunch, your treat Bea: please Bea: roleplay my IT bitch and I'll be feeling my boss best in time for a liquid lunch Bea: will have to damage control my face first, enjoy watching me lovingly whilst I turn a -2 to an 11 Bronson: Never get bored of staring at you, you know that Bronson: Make my hair great again Bronson: Thanks Bea: when you shoulda been Trump's campaign manager 😕 Bea: sort the weave, clean up that twitter Bea: what a wonderful world it coulda been Bronson: Last night proves I can't stop him pussy grabbing Bronson: Need you for that one Bea: This pussy bites back 😼 Bea: its not your fault, girls like that, if you tell her to fuck off, and rightly so, it'd be made like YOU were being a prick to her Bea: gotta bullshit these hoes sometimes, tis the only way Bronson: Or playing hard to get...they fire that one at me loads Bronson: 😦 Bea: 🤢 gross Bea: got that one myself a fair few times, when I'm not being accused of being a prude by Ronaldo, hilariously Bea: People are the worst Bea: 'cept us Bronson: It's only because she likes you Bronson: Flattering, isn't it? Bronson: Being called broken is my fave Bronson: "Who hurt you?" You are right now, fuck off before you get a slap yourself to feel the pain of Bea: Wouldn't that just be the perfect solution in their simplistic little world? If only Bea: Save myself the feelings of disgust not brought on by kebab breath Bea: Though, if you think that that's love coming from Ron, then you do have an answer to their riddle right there, not real but the masses'll take one look at her and buy it 😜 Bronson: No arguments here Bronson: Your socials are sparkling now so that's real comfort to take Bea: 💖 yay Bea: the world never need know Bea: as long as I didn't drunk dial or text Fraze, this day is looking up, tah babes Bronson: Not to be a know it all again so quick Bronson: but I'm going to go ahead and guess the answer to that one Bea: BITCH DON'T KILL MY VIBE Bea: I'm sure I'd have angry ranting in my inbox if I had Bea: or a passive indirect on the socials, come across one perchance smartiepants? Bronson: Might've Bronson: I'll spare you Bea: Noooooooooooooooooooo Bea: Coulda had it all Bea: Really sours my Bloody Mary Bea: Fuck sake, now he's going to think I FUCKED kebab kev and enjoyed it meanwhile I sit here virginal and scrubbing my mouth out with soap Bea: How's this game fair again, please remind me Bronson: It isn't Bronson: But I can't tell you to stop playing Bronson: All yours Bea: you're meant to be a superwhizkid Bea: can't you think up a strategy so I win Bronson: Thinking cap is on Bronson: Because my hair still looks shit as much as Bea: I'll fix your barnet Bea: Between you and Charlie, honestly Bea: Never known boys like it 😂 Bea: blatant lie, have you seen how particular Fraze is but he doesn't really have much hair to be stylin' so Bronson: 👴 awkward Bea: you fool Bea: not like that 😂 Bea: though I'll keep it in my backpocket for when we inevitably row later Bea: #malepatternbaldnessBITCH Bronson: Freebie to kick your day off right again Bea: if you refuse to tell me what to do, could you use your skillz for good at least and fucking disable my phone when i'm fucked Bronson: Last time I tried you tried to fight me like Bea: Look, I didn't say it was a task for the fainthearted 😉 Bea: and yes, you would be the first to succeed too Bea: but if anyone can, its my man 😘 Bronson: Ego boost before eggs Bronson: Whoa Bronson: Today is looking up Bea: Gotta keep you sweet with all the bitching I'll no doubt do at brunch Bea: such a Carrie move, like no one cares bitch, write it in your column or books or...what did she even write? Or was she just monologuing at her computer, like all been there babe but don't act like its buying you all that designer Bronson: Her real true love was that laptop Bronson: Solved it Bea: 😲 Bea: but Mr. Big Bea: clue in the name Bronson: Could be his wallet Bronson: explain the designer gear Bea: Exactly Bea: Just my type Bronson: I'd go in for it if I can spend and send him the receipts Bea: you must be aware there are websites for that Bea: get on it boy Bronson: It all gets too sexual for my tastes Bea: set out boundaries Bea: different strokes for different folks Bea: i'm SURE there's a millionaire out there that just wants to chat Bronson: 🤔 There's enough fighting off advances in the club Bronson: Shelving that until millionaires become good people Bea: not bad people by default Bea: just a bad system they profit from more than you Bronson: Getting deep in here Bronson: Truth though Bea: real talk take #2 Bea: where do you think charlie was last night? and who or what was he doing? Bronson: Good questions that I have no answer to Bronson: If he had a job we'd all know Bea: I need to know, suspense is killing me Bea: I didn't think anything beat drugs in his book Bea: somewhat encouraging? Bronson: You could ask but I doubt you'd get far enough into the real Bronson: It is Bronson: Boy's growing up? Bea: Full of the #bants them two Bronson: Since day 1 Bronson: I'm coming to get you, Barbara Bronson: Ready yourself Bea: *falls over gravestones like a dumb bitch* Bea: i'm good to go and looking fly Bronson: I'll do the coded knock Bronson: Made up rn Bea: Helpful Bronson: That's my thing Bronson: Soon, my love, soon

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