#dont let the arseholes get you down anon

[answersfromzestual]

My friend is trans (ftm) and I am trans (ftm), and he won't accept me? I told him about a month before I really decided to start transitioning that I feel like I can't be a girl, and that I'm probably transmasc, and he was pretty excited to have a trans friend like himself, but after I did a more official coming out to our friend group, he was the only one who did not support me, and was pretty angry at me. I asked him did something happened and why did he change his mind, and he told me that he can't see me as a guy, and that I don't deserve it and not worthy of calling myself a man. I understand that for other people it can be hard to start seing you differently, especially then they knew me as a girl for a lot of time, but I don't understand him and I'm hurt. He said that "he is grieving the "me" he knew" but that is such a weird statement. He also said that the reason I can't be a guy is because I am "too hysterical like a woman". I don't understand him, and I feel betrayed :( Why would he say something like that? Does he sees me as a rival now, or something like this??

Wow...

There is a lot to unpack here. First off, you are valid, you really have these feelings.

Secondly I'm terribly sorry about your friend going from supportive to spiteful, by the sounds of it.

If you don't mind can I ask if you have a more "masculine" quality than him? Are you taller, is your face more passable than his? Did your other friends respond to you coming out better?

This sounds like it's almost a jealousy issue and a lot of resentment.

There may be a little bit of "well I came out then a month later _____ comes out?!" Can be contributing to his feelings.

Does your friend tend to need attention more than you? Just in general. Are they louder? Do they always have to make things about themselves? If so, you could be "stealing his spotlight".

It seems this all stems from when you came out to your friends...

I have a thought about the mourning part of your ask. Don't put money on it, but I think they may have a crush on the "female" you used to be. I have a feeling they may have finally seen themselves as straight maybe and maybe their goal was to maybe ask you out, but now you are transitioning. The mourning and the almost telling you not to transition just kind of makes me think that. I apologize if this is out of line, it's just a hunch I have from the information you have given me. If this is not the case he is a jealous, hypocrite in my honest opinion.

You deserve respect, consideration, and love.

There are many layers to your friend's response, and it's more than likely not one particular thing, but a mix of many emotions and feelings.

This person does not determine your worth. I want you to know that this person doesn't seem like someone you should remain friends with. You can be civil with your friend group, but you don't need to be friends.

I am incredibly sorry this happened to you. This is actually an example of transphobia inside the trans community. It's really not acceptable.

If this person tries to say anything negative about your transition, ask them what their issue(s) are with it. Maybe you can talk about it out together and salvage the friendship.

If they won't answer you or refuse to explain their feelings, you can tell them that they do not run your life, they do not know what's in your head, they do not know how you feel. Tell them saying this is way out of line and extremely inappropriate things to say to someone you consider a friend.

I'm sorry I can't say much more...

I'm sure maybe someone here can add some of their thoughts and advice as well.

I hope that you find comfort and feel the love here.

Remember you need to make you happy, you are your number one priority. Unless he is going to start to pay for your treatments his words are just arrogant and really cruel.

You are loved, and seen here.

I am sorry I took so long to answer this, it was a very deep ask, with many layers to consider.

I hope maybe this can help you out.

With much love,

Zestual ❤️💙

[emsvegetables]

“I SAW HOGWARTS AND I HAVE COME TO ASK OF YOU WHEN RAVENCLAW!AKAASHI FINDS OUT HIS CRUSH IS ALSO IN RAVENCLAW BUT she's a muggleborn :> Ah that is if you dont mind though”

ahhh sure anon!!!! I LOVE WRITING HOGWARTS!HAIKYUU X READER!!!!!! TICKLES MY PICKLE THAT DOES.

Akaashi:

* Tbh he strikes me as a slytherin, but he’ll be a ravenclaw if there was two houses!!!!

* Okay anyway Akaashi’s a ravenclaw, right????

* So he’s busy studying ALL the time and making sure he passes his exams.

* He also makes Bokuto (who’s in gryffindor!!!) do his work, and scolds Kuroo (who’s in slytherin!!!) whenever Kuroo tries to get Bokuto to skive off lessons.

* N E WAYS

* He’s a pure blood, that’s for sure, but he does NOT agree with the racist pure-blood supremacists bc wtf is wrong with them???????

* He hates it whenever he sees some stupid arseholes badger the poor first year muggleborns, and Kuroo ALWAYS hexes them, or Bokuto WILL tell them to stop, and he’ll just glare at them.

* So he goes about his Hogwarts life studying and everything, but in his fourth year, all goes to hell.

* He’s coming out of the library one day, going back to the ravenclaw dorms, when he watches some ARSEHOLE trip a poor ravenclaw girl (YOU!!!!) and sends you and your books sprawling across the floor.

* NOT HIS HOUSE, THOSE LITTLE SHITS.

* He’s immediately striding forward, bringing his wand out in case an altercation occurs.

* “Learn your place, mudblood.”

* When the words come out of that arsehole’s mouth, Akaashi doesn’t even think and sends the worst hex out of his wand and at the dude.

* He’s running forward to help you up, and that’s when he meets your eyes.

* You’re beautiful.

* “Are you alright?” he asks, when he sucks in a deep breath after meeting your eyes.

* “Oh, yes, i’m fine,” you smile,” thank you for helping me...”

* “I’m Akaashi,” he fills in the blank for you.

* “I’m (Y/N).”

* You’re bending down to pick the books up from the floor and he instantly drops down to help you pick them up too.

* “Are you going anywhere? I’ll help you carry them,” he’s saying, and taking some books from you into his arms.

* BLESS HIS GENTLEMANLY HEART.

* “Oh,” you say,” i’m going back to the dorm.”

* “I’m going there too,” he’s shooting a warm smile at you,” let’s go.”

* And along the way he asks you all sorts of questions bc he GENUINELY wants to know more about you!!!!!!

* He finds out you’re just a year below him, and that your favourite lesson was charms class, and that you LOVE fridays because that’s when Treacle Tart is served!!!!

* ANYWAY THE MORE YOU SPOKE TO HIM THE MORE HE FALLS IN LOVE WITH YOU.

* So that’s why he’s a little disappointed when the both of you reach the common room too quickly.

* But when you smile at him as you take the books from his hand and wave goodbye, he just has this wide, silly smile on his face as he waves back.

* Oikawa (he’s a ravenclaw!!!!) notices it from the other side of the common room, and when Akaashi joins him, he’s immediately teasing Akaashi about you.

* Akaashi rolls his eyes and talks to Oikawa about the upcoming quidditch match, but he can’t get his mind off you!!!!!!!!

* When he sees you the next day in the great hall for breakfast, you wave at him and he waves back with this bright smile on his face!!!!

* Kuroo notices it from where he was sitting at the slytherin table and immediately tells Bokuto, who’s sitting at the gryffindor table.

* THEY BOTH TEASE HIM ABOUT IF DURING A FREE PERIOD LATER ON WHEN THEY’RE CHILLING BY THE LAKE.

* “Say...Akaashi,” Kuroo’s shooting him a smirk,” who’s that little ravenclaw who waved at you today?”

* “Nobody,” Akaashi answers, and tries to fight back a blush from surfacing on his face.

* “So...nobody, eh? Then you wouldn’t mind if i asked her out? She’s cute.”

* “NO!!!”

* SHIT. Kuroo’s smirking at him and Bokuto’s grinning.

* DIOSIFIFIFKRKE

* “You like her!!!!! You should ask her out!!!!” Bokuto says excitedly and pats Akaashi on the back.

* “Maybe the next hogsmeade trip,” Akaashi finally agrees, and Kuroo and Bokuto ARE GRINNING RIRIFIFIFKFII

* A month goes by, and you still say hi to Akaashi whenever he meets you in the halls and he’s so SOFT for you!!!!

* Then the next hogsmeade trip is announced on the bulletin board, and Kuroo’s winking at him and Bokuto’s telling him to go for it.

* So he’s looking for you after he sees you exit the great hall after breakfast one day.

* But what he sees makes him MAD.

* You’re caged underneath two asshole slytherins, and they’re spewing the most degrading words at you, and you look close to tears.

* Something snaps within Akaashi, and he’s instantly hexing the two of them with what he learned in class the other day—the bat-bogey hex.

* He’s pulling you away from the two slytherins, and the both of you run until you duck into an alcove.

* “Are you alright?”

* “I’m fine!” you smile,” you’re always saving me, Akaashi!”

* AKAASHI BLUSHES AT THAT TKDIEKEK

* “Hey, (Y/N)?”

* “Hmm?”

* “Do you want to go with me to hogsmeade this weekend?”

* OH.

* OHHHHHH.

* “I would love to, Akaashi.”

request are OPENED!!! send anything in bc i LOVE TO WRITE CUTE SHIT.

[ohthathurt]

omg #7 on the high school themed, for the drabble prompt please 😩

Prompt: “I accidentally tookyour notebook thinking it was mine and you have really nice handwriting andcute doodles”

I changed it a slight bit so hope you dont mind anon x

Inspired by the way Zayn doodled Liam’s name in the UAN Yearbook:

“Look I’m just saying, it’s been what, a year, since you andDanielle broke up, maybe you should just give it a go, mate!” Louis, his bestfriend, pestered him for what felt like the umpteenth time that month since theend-of-year school dance was announced. This was something new – a very Britishversion of a school prom. Apparently, public schools all around were beginningto get into it.

Liam made a face; “I don’t know…” he trailed off skeptically,still unsure of his love life now that their studies were amped up to a full10, with Liam’s extracurricular activities leeching his free time.

They walked over the sparse grass ofthe football field, heading towards the main school building in their runningshoes, having just come back from light training that always left Liam’s energylevels unusually high. He mulled over Louis’ words. Most of what he said wastrue, though.

Only a month ago, a circular had comethrough that left most of the teens in his school tittering with excitement andapprehension – they were to have a school dance, where every person was allowedto take a date. Louis, of course, was more than happy to accompany his boyfriend,who was a year behind, to the dance. He was pretty sure Niall already hadsomeone in mind (he had a sneaking suspicion it was that Irish bloke from theirrugby team). That left him: good ol’ Payno.

Since his break-up with Danielle lastyear, he hadn’t really dated anyone. To be fair, that was because he threwhimself into raising his grades so his mum didn’t look like someone had diedevery time his report came in. He took up boxing classes as well, the youngestmember at their local gym and had managed since then to establish and start anew boxing club at their school.

All in all, he was doing pretty well.Now all he needed was a date. Yup, piece of cake. He let out a single, longbreath as if it had been agonizinglypunched out of him.

***

Now the truth was, there wasn’t exactly a lack of interested individuals who would be more than happy to behis date to the dance. No, he had his plenty share of people asking for weeksnow but he always turned them down, gently, of course.

No, he had eyes for someone else.

Someone who was currently stood down the hallway, near where thelockers were, merrily chatting to his mates. Now being ‘the absolute idiot thathe was’ according to Louis, he had never talked to this guy.

Zayn, was his name. Zayn Malik – the name that made President of theBoxing Club Liam Payne sigh like a Victorian lady. Of course, the boys on hisfooty team knew, and took the absolute piss out of him for it, making annoyingsmooching noises whenever Zayn passed by, not even reacting to the Vice Captainof the football team making eyes at him.

The thing was – he had never talked to him. Ever. And that is why Louis had coined him a ‘stupid bastard’. Bitharsh, but understandable. It’s just that he was so intimidated by him. Inanother universe, maybe, Liam would have had the guts and confidence toapproach Zayn, maybe chat him up or even ask him out.

But no, actual Liam Payne had zero guts when it came to Zayn. In fact,he usually gave Zayn a wide berth whenever he passed him by, scared he’d dosomething idiotic like smile dreamily at him or ask to smell his hair orsomething.

Yeah, approaching him seemed like a bad idea, especially when he wasso sure Zayn hardly knew he existed. He shared his thoughts with Louis whoscoffed loudly at him from where he stood near the main doors with Liam.

“Mate, no offence, but I’ve seen that boy check you out more timesthan I’ve given Harry a blowjob and lemme tell you, we’re wild.”

Liam stared at him with a deadpan expression for a hot minute before, “Yourealize I don’t care about your sex life, right? So will you please stoptelling me about it?” He yelled, his voice echoing rather embarrassingly in thehallway. But no matter, Louis reallyneeded to stop telling him details.

Louis, the arsehole, only smirked at him before continuing, “Have Itold you about that time – “

Liam just started walking away from him, towards the lockers, yellingback, “You need to shut up, you Yorkshire fuck!” He turned back to face thefront, when he noticed a pair of hazel eyes regarding him with shock. Oh shit.

Apparently Zayn had heard Liam shout and he wasn’t sure but –

“Did you know Zayn’s from Yorkshire?” Louis caught up to him andwhispered hotly into his ear from behind, amusement coating his words.

Liam blushed intensely with embarrassment as his mate snickeredhimself silly beside him. He really needed a new best friend.

He chanced a look up at Zayn again, only to catch him turning away intime and heading off with his friends, closing his locker door behind him.Only, just as Zayn walked away, Liam noticed a spiral notebook lying on thefloor in front of his locker.

Something spurred Liam to jump forward and he reached the notebook,picking it up with one hand, the other raised and ready to call Zayn back and –say what?

Sorry I was actually calling my mate a Yorkshire fuck and not you,also here is your notebook, I saw you drop it because I’m always staring atyou, please love me –

Yeah, that wasn’t happening, he thought as he hefted the notebook upand noticed with fondness the little ’Z’ sketched on top of the cover. It was ayellow and black swirl pattern book with blank pages and to Liam’s surprise,those pages were mostly filled with sketches.

Beautiful sketches with precise lines and animated expressions ofvarious characters. A sketch of a family in front of a Christmas tree, a dogplaying in a backyard, the skyline of London –

Liam stopped short, his entire world went on pause and he was prettysure he lost several brain cells. On the last page at the back of the notebookwere cute doodles in a black pen, like the inane ramblings of a person who wasbored in class.

In the middle of these messy scrawls and scribbles, was his name.

Written in black ink and decorated endearingly with loops and swirlsand little hearts all around was the name: Liam Payne. That’s him! That was his name on the back of a notebook of a boy he’scrushed on for an entire year!

He could scarcely believe what he was seeing but Louis’ shocked butsmug expression basically confirmed it.

Zayn liked him! In the cute I-find-you-adorable way, his crush haddoodled his name during class when hewas probably bored or hey, maybe thinking about him?

Liam’s cheeks flushed at the thought, he had never been crushed onbefore like this. Especially by a boy as lovely as Zayn, with his floppy blackhair that fell silkily on his forehead and those beautiful hazel eyes hidden behinda pair of black framed glasses that always slipped down his perfect littlenose.

Now he was giddy. He cracked a huge grin and faced Louis, “I have anidea!”

***

Zayn was having a pretty normal Monday – as normal as it can getactually. The classes were droning on as usual and nothing was out of theordinary. That is if you don’t count Liam Payne shouting ‘Yorkshire fuck’ inthe school hallway. Zayn’s lips twitched at the memory and at how Liam’s flushed-from-the-exerciseskin had reddened even more as his eyes had caught onto him.

But then he had turned away from him, and Zayn was forced to lower hishopeful gaze yet again and walk away as once again his crush ignored him. Everytime he thought, yes now he’s gonna talkto me, Liam always found a way to avoid him or would just completely ignorehim. Mixed signals were not his thing so maybe he should just let this one go.

He heaved out a regretful sigh and focused back on the conversation hewas having with his mates. Only they had gone suspiciously silent. When heturned to his mate, Adam, to ask what was wrong, his friend only lifted up afinger and pointed at something behind him.

Confused at his behaviour, he whirled around to look at –

Liam Payne. Looking every bit as scrumptious as he always does inthose sports’ shorts and tee. He was also smirking, wait why was he smirking?And what was he holding?

Zayn felt the colour drain from his face as he recognized Liam’s longfingers clutching onto a very familiarspiral notebook. Oh you know the one with Liam’s name sketched a thousand timesover all of it!

He gulped and reached out for it and was surprised when Liam handed itover easily. His mind was running through a million loud thoughts but they allsilenced when Liam walked over to him and right up into his personal space. Oh god, he smelled as good as he looked, nowait what?

Zayn felt all the breath in his lungs freeze as Liam tilted his headdown to hover his lips over his ear as he whispered, “You have cute doodles. Iespecially like the ones on the last page.”

Zayn could only shudder as Liam shifted impossibly closer and peckedhim gently on the cheek. In a sudden rush, he moved back and walked backwards afew steps from Zayn, pausing only to wink awkwardly, oh bless he winks with both eyes, before turning back and headingoff with his mate.

It was a good minute before he could breathe again and then heremembered what Liam whispered to him! (After which he was given the mostgentle, loving kiss on the cheek but he’ll freak out over it later, he wassure)

He scrambled to get his notebook upright before he flipped to the lastpage, where he knew he had doodledLiam’s name in the most cringe way he possibly could.

Zayn noticed a short sentence penned in underneath where he hadsketched Liam’s name.

“Will you go to the dance with me?”

And for the first time in manyweeks, Zayn felt like his face would crack open with the widest grin he couldpossibly manage.

[cookie-waffle]

hey dude i can see youve been doubting yourself and i just wanna say, draw because you enjoy it. Trust me you'll gradually start to see yourself improve and i know so many great artists on here that dont get the publicity they deserve As soon as you just start drawing for you, posting for you, and feeling pride in what you do you'll start to feel so much better remember, practise makes perfect, dont let arseholes on the internet bring you down!

It’s not just that I worry that only people on the internet won’t like my work it’s that I worry if they don’t like it then that means possible commissioners and employers won’t like it and I won’t get hired or commissioned. As much as I do enjoy art I feel like I also need to keep in mind that just enjoying it wont help me make a living. People really do have to LIKE my art. And now that I’m an adult I have to take that into consideration even more. I’ve been kinda struggling with finding a job lately and I was hoping I could get a few commissions this summer so I could some extra cash but the last time I got one was around 1 or 2 years ago. Which… doesn’t help my confidence… I didn’t even get any when I had my 15% off sale.

So yea, I wish I could take everyone’s advice and just enjoy myself which I do try to do but every so often I gotta keep in mind that this is also work and if I ever want my own animation studio and make my own cartoons and movies I actually have to get good at art too.That anon was pretty rude tho and even though I was really upset by them before all you're kind messages have been lifting my spirits so thanks for that!