#dont feel obligated! i am survived this long without them i will be okay without

[killer-wizard]

on the same note i also notice my disabilities slowly becoming more physical and i hate it (also my whole family doesnt give a shit and outright denied getting me mobility aids so. end me) not because being disabled is a curse but because i wish anyone around me would take it seriously. like my dad straight up acts like my food/scent sensitivities are me being silly and not. something that disables me.

i despise the fact that no one takes my disabilities seriously. its so fucking dumb like ooohh i need a cane and maybe a wheelchair, oooh youre so scared of my inhaler, ooooh stfu bitch get out of here huh ??

[ruensroad]

(dont) let me go

I saw a post on @whatisasideblog‘s blog about NieYao and Hanahaki disease. I thought it was interesting enough to try my hand at it. Hope it’s okay, hon!

----

Nie Mingjue had not put much stock in how he would, inevitably, die. It was well known that his family was cursed to die of qi deviation and the ages varied. With his skill and body count, Nie Mingjue had known, even in early days, that his life would not be long. He would live, breathe, and die by his blade, he was certain, and was content with such an outcome.

It was how his father had died. His grandfather, his grandfather’s grandfather. There was a somber sort of pride to it, knowing he was following in their footsteps. All people died, but few knew the how. He was oddly blessed to know it would be sooner than most. And that had to be good enough.

Because the only other way to die had been as his mother had died, choking on blood red peonies and clutching at roots that had coiled around her lungs and heart like weeds. He’d watched her fade away, could still remember the horrid coughing, the blood and red petals littering the floor. It had instilled in him a fear greater than a death with all his meridians broken and his mind bleeding out with madness. To die of a broken heart, especially for their clan, who loved so deeply, wholly, passionately... well. It was little wonder she had withered away and he’d been careful, oh so careful, with who he grew affection for, turning his back on his heart to safe it from a root-speared death, and for many years he was satisfied in his loneliness.

After all he had Huaisang, who was free of the flower sickness curse, given his own mother had not died of the disease, but childbirth. And his reluctance to even pick up a saber, while irritating and frustrating, proved Huaisang may not even fall to qi deviation. He had to use a spiritual tool to reach that end, after all, and he refused to.

Nie Mingjue would never admit his relief of it. He knew his death would shatter his brother’s dreams of a peaceful life, so while he chided and argued and teased, in the end Huaisang was left to do what he wanted and Nie Mingjue was left to do as he wanted. A balance of reprimand and respect, one they'd maintained since the start.

In many ways, meeting Meng Yao had been the best and worst of his life. The best, because of who Meng Yao became to him. The worst for the same.

In the end, he was still his mother’s child, it seemed.

Every curl of a sweet, dimpled smile had his throat closing with petals, caught against his rapid pulse. His lungs hitched and stung as the roots dug deeper and deeper with every fleeting glance, every knowing look they shared. The quiet moments were poignant with the unfurling flowers he could feel in his chest, ready to kill him, and knew he was doomed to this. For all his plans for a glorified death, or a terrible death, somehow this was worse.

Because this suffering in silence, in choking on the words, personified with petals. When he finally managed to cough one up, spit long red with blood, he found an orchid at his feet, shriveled and misshapen, but undeniably an orchid.

Meng Yao loved the QingheNie orchids, he knew, loved the deep rich red of their petals and often kept vases of them in his rooms, which made sense for why this flower had formed. But Meng Yao loved the GusuLan lilies more, he also knew, and that too made a horrid sense as to why he was choking on orchids and allowing them to kill him now.

Because he was not the lily that Xichen was, could not smile like Xichen could, or make Meng Yao so happy. He did what he could, the only ways he could, but it was not enough.

So he choked. He lost his appetite, withered away, just as his mother had done. Huaisang tried to convince him to tell Meng Yao the truth. Meng Yao demanded the same, to name the person responsible for his sickness when he’d finally been told just what was killing Nie Mingjue in a flutter of blood red blooms.

Nie Mingjue did not listen to either of them. Ironically, he listened to Xichen, who knew his heart, had always known his heart, and had soothed his spirit.

“You will not tell him, I know, but I wish you would,” Xichen told him a long night close to the end, when the flowers had been particularly fierce.

“He will love me back in obligation, and that will not cure me,” Nie Mingjue argued, and it was true enough. “I am doomed in loving him or not, Xichen. I will die young either way.”

“Then I am honored to be by your side as you love him,” Xichen had murmured, tears slipping down into his smile. He’d touched Nie Mingjue’s forehead and soothed him with qi, the only thing that had worked. “Don’t stop loving him.”

“I’ll stop breathing long before that,” he’d promised, and was determined onto that until the end.

When he opened his eyes the following night, lost in a daze of dreams and burning fire of roots slicing through his heart, he found Meng Yao in Xichen’s place, hands around his hand, body shaking with sobs… no, not sobs, he realized. Anger.

“Meng Yao,” he rasped, feeling a petal at the back of his throat. He forced it down with a swallow. If this was to be their last moment together, he didn’t want to ruin it by puking blood and orchids into Meng Yao’s lap. He’d rather die first.

“Whoever it is, they do not deserve you,” Meng Yao said, cutting, vicious, but his doe eyes were filled with tears, desperate and oh so lost. “How could they do this to you? Stand by and watch you d-... watch it kill you.” His voice was little more than a wretched whisper at that and Nie Mingjue smiled, lifting his shaking hand free just enough to cup the side of Meng Yao’s face and caress away a fallen tear.

“It doesn’t matter now.” Because it didn’t. “I have made my peace.”

“How can you say that?” Meng Yao demanded, hands trembling around his wrist. “What about Huaisang? Zewu-jun? What about the QingheNie?”

“Meng Yao.”

“What about me?” the man asked, biting his lip and shoulders hunching. “Without you…”

“You have Xichen,” Nie Mingjue said. It was odd he’d have to remind the man of his own lover, but grief had ways of breaking people down.

“I have Zewu-jun, but I want you,” Meng Yao buried his face into Nie Mingjue’s hand. “All my life, you are the greatest thing that has happened. And now you are lost and I can’t even follow.”

“You’d better not follow me,” Nie Mingjue murmured, feeling sluggish as his thumb pressed over Meng Yao’s lower lip. That lovely mouth parted in response, a beautiful sight, and surely he must be dreaming. Surely this was merely an angel disguised as his love to send him on his way.

“I’m not…” A broken laugh, tears falling like stars in his blurry sight. “...Me?”

Nie Mingjue hadn’t realized he’d mused that aloud, dreamlike as the world still was. But Meng Yao’s surprise seemed real enough, wretched enough. Angry enough. If it were true, then what damage could it do now? The end had come and this was his only chance left.

“Surely, you have felt my heart in your hands all these years,” Nie Mingjue told him.

“You say such a thing, yet have not felt mine,” Meng Yao whispered back and leaned forward, hands clutching at his face. It was not gentle, but desperate and clutching, and in surprise he realized that, no, this wasn’t a dream. He could feel each bite of fingernail, the weight of Meng Yao’s slight body over his own. Real and pushing into him, as real as the flowers choking him, as real as the lips that sealed completely over his own.

“Tell me it’s not too late,” Meng Yao breathed against his mouth, eyes closed and body shaking. Nie Mingjue did his best to hold him, but it was hard with his own shaking hands. “You stupid, utter fool…”

Head spinning, Nie Mingjue didn’t manage anything other than another soft, “Meng Yao.”

“Tell me I’m not too late,” came the same plea.

“I don’t know,” he managed, because he truly didn’t know. He still felt the roots, the petals, the blooms. Still felt their heavy pain. Still felt death’s cold hands on him, even as Meng Yao pressed himself ever closer.

“I will hunt you down in the afterlife if you leave me here alone,” Meng Yao threatened, making him smile.

“Xiao huli...  I will try for you.”

“You’d better,” Meng Yao said and then he kissed him again, and again, and again, until the world blurred for an entirely new reason. “My heart is in your hands.”

Tears came to Nie Mingjue’s eyes at that and he wished fervently that he had not been so content to die. That he had Huaisang’s stubborn, romantic will and not the calm acceptance of a warrior’s soul. Truly, his mother’s son.

All he could promise was to try to wake up one more time, then another, and another. And the smile he got for it, joyous, heartbroken, full of tears and a broken laugh… it was worth every pain in the world for that smile.

That meant fighting, surviving, and loving. Unashamed, unfettered, as it should have been all along. So he would.

[letstalksymphogear]

Symphogear, EP.4

Last time on Beverly Hills 90210!

Hibiki begins to understand the true nature of the Sam Reimi Spiderman trilogy as she lives the life of a superhero by night and a normal student by day in the most miserable way possible. Constant cockblocking from the duties she explicitly chose to do distance her from her significant other Miku, as it drives wedges into their friendlationship. As Hibiki breaks off a plan prepped weeks in advance to see rocks fall from the sky, she takes out her frustration on the local Kamen Rider villian rejects before coming up to see Tsubasa, only to be greeted by a new face...

Let us continue!

As the situation tenses between the three gi- hey! Hey, wait a minute! This is a flashback! That’s no fair. You’re just going to throw this to us while we’re trying to do this stuff? Get it together, show.

The show hauls our asses to a flashback, because God knows we needed one right now. It’s not just any flashback, though. It’s a flashback of our favorite redhead, Kanade!

In a straightjacket.

While everyone is staring.

“i dont usually do this but you’ve got a bad case of catch-these-handsitis”

“oh god, she’s so wild, and angry... i... why am i hoping she’s single...?”

“aye. this is the fate of all rabiosexuals out there.”

Kanade is tied down because she’s the sole survivor of a Noise attack, and more importantly, she really, really wants to fight the Noise. What she doesn’t know is that she is potentially a new candidate for a Symphogear relic.

“oh... we’d pair so well... our colors are diametrically opposed...”

“GIMMIE A FUCKING GUN AND A TEN PIECE CHICKEN MCNUGGET MEAL YOU GUY FIERI LOOKING ASSHOLE”

Genjuro, who suffers from Compulsive Child Adopting Syndrome (CCAS), immediately comes to the conclusion to adopt this tiny gremlin. It helps that her parents are, well, dead.

Fatherly instincts vibrating intensely.

Genjuro talks to this small child, who is currently 99% anger and 1% chicken fluff, scanning their conviction towards working to the goal of fighting the Noise.

In retrospect, his methods are a bit weird. Feeding into the extreme edginess of a 14 year old scorned isn’t exactly the best thing in the world. Unfortunately, as we established before, the only thing that can fight Noise are Symphogear, and the only reason he’s not in the front lines is because he can’t wield one.

Kanade naturally obliges this deal, her braincells having long since perished alongside her parents. Then Perish indeed, Kanade.

“buddy im being trained as a samurai in modern times and i still could not fathom going as hard as you”

The pact is sealed. The child is adopted. Genjuro’s adoption addiction relapses, and he’s going to have quite a long talk at AA (Adopters Anonymous).

The thing about Genjuro that makes him an interesting character is that he actually really, really, really hates the idea of having to pit children in fighting these horrible threats. Unlike a lot of male characters who have a strong sense of manliness but a poorly written way of expressing it, Genjuro manages to be a compassionate person in the face of all this terribleness. He’s the only person to think about throwing parties for these girls, and trying to give them any sort of sense of happiness and normalcy to their lives, now changed forever by machinations he has been put in charge of. He’s the Anti-Gendo. He doesn’t tell Shinji to get in the robot. He makes sure Shinji is well enough to be in the robot, and would never do so otherwise, knowing the mental toll.

That’s why ultimately, he is The Dad.

So, with that in mind, they prep Kanade to recieve the relic assigned to her. One of the major elements of using relics is compatibility. Kanade is not naturally compatible to Gungnir; they have to slowly ease her into it.

“mumble mumble cant wait to kick their asses mumble mumble”

This is a process that takes years. The show doesn’t do well in showing this, but it takes many, many years for her to be compatible after endless medical examinations and controlled situations.

The experiments, naturally, hurt like a bitch to boot.

“genjuro she’ll be okay, right?”

“flip a coin on it, tsubasa”

“oh shit yall see this news? pornhubs gonna buy tumblr! damn, i can make an all in one profile now.”

When you’re forced to watch your newly adopted daughter torture herself to be compatible with an ancient, musty cursed relic.

After all that, Kanade still isn’t compatible. Of course, nothing is simple with Kanade. You may ask yourself, “Why did Genjuro have to tie up Kanade in a straitjacket? That seems pretty abusive.”

Simply put, it’s because Kanade has never fucked around in any second of her life, having taken off all the devices on her, taken a direct syringe of the stuff she’s trying to synchronize with, and directly inject it into her, herself.

Fear.

“i am so SICK, and TIRED, of all this namby pamby wimpy ass standard shit. YALL MOTHERFUCKERS THINK I WONT GO FULL THROTTLE?! MY LIFE IS FULL THROTTLE. I! AM! GONNA! GET! SHIT! DONE! TONIGHT! BOYYYYS!”

Tsubasa, likely already going through puberty by this point, simultaneously understands both the concepts of fear and arousal witnessing this near suicidal display of absolute madness immediately.

Holy shit, Kanade.

You know shit’s bad when even Ryoko is afraid.

Turns out, however, that Kanade did the right move in becoming compatible with Gungnir, at a very physically demanding price.

Really, physically demanding.

“shouldnt have had that massive spaghetti carbonara before doing all this shit but fuck i really liked that fuckin’ spaghetti slorp slorp go the sauce ooooooooh god this is bad”

“HAHA IM FINE- IM FINE EVERYONE- THIS- THIS IS JUST THE SPAGHETTI- I HAD BEFORE THE- BEFORE THE PROCEDURE IT’S NOT- IT’S NOT BLOOD I SWEAR- OH I AM FEELING LIGHTHEADED- DON’T WORRY YOUR PRETTY HEADS IM GOOD! OH- OH FUCK-”

The scientists, who have been easily staring at this entire situation for more than 5 minutes or more, have not stepped in to do a single damn thing, as if overpowering a 14 year old to stop her from injecting a dangerous thing that could directly kill her is completely out of their paygrade. Genjuro wakes them the fuck up and likely briefly contemplates firing some of these morons.

“so this is what’s called... getting lost in the sauce...”

The scientists scramble to keep Kanade from vomiting more marinara sauce but Kanade exerts but a mere fraction of her now developing Symphogear abilities, knocking them all out with ease.

“this is some shit right here, damn”

Kanade pulls some Independence Day theatrics on everyone, as a 14 year old on the verge of death typically would if given the opportunity. Death may be certain but you at least get to go out in style. Will Smith would be proud.

The half-life of Tsubasa’s fearousal reached completion as it has mostly decayed into fear at this point.

However, the relic pendant begins glowing. This is likely the one thing that keeps Kanade from dying. An interesting comparison given Hibiki’s own survival and gear manifestation.

Kanade achieves super saiyan.

“THEY ALL SAID I WAS LOST IN THE SAUCE... AND THEY ALL THOUGHT THE SAUCE WAS LOST IN ME. BUT NOW... I AM THE SAUCE!”

Tsubasa’s fear directly transmutes itself back into arousal per the first law of alchemy. Something to note is that Tsubasa was naturally receptive to her own gear; she didn’t need to go through the medical process Kanade went through. It’s because of this that Kanade earns Tsubasa’s admiration for life, even long after she dies.

“THE SAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUCCCEEEEEEEEEE”

And so, the unambiguously gay duo known as Zwei Wing formed. Singers by day...

Noise slayers by night.

Saving the country, singing in the country, bonding together... in the country. Truly, there is no more iconic duo than these two.

“yall sing pretty”

“anyway bye”

Kanade’s initial motivation for getting Gungnir was to kill the Noise indiscriminately with no hesitation. It slowly dawns on her, though, that helping people... is good?

“the sauce lost me. i got lost in the sauce. i became the sauce. but... why don’t i... share, the sauce? because... people like sauce... and i like sauce... and we can bond together... liking sauce!”

Kanade and Tsubasa have a Captain America moment running together as Kanade muses about how singing for other people feels way better than just pure murder funtimes.

“hey, uh... tsubasa... it just hit me. i like sauce. and... you, you like sauce. do... do you want to share sauce together?”

“kanade as your girlfriend ive literally heard you talk about sauce metaphors for the last several years and if you dont think i wont slurp your sauce down without hesitation you’ve got another thing coming”

“hell yeah! ive still got some of my original leftover marinara to share!”

No heterosexual explanation whatsoever.

Not a damn one.

Oh yeah...! Because by shedding tears, the reality you face is...

Nehushtan? Weird end of a sentence, but okay.

We’re thrust back into the present time, present day, as we’re back in our three way throwdown.

Genjuro is an extra large McFuckingPissed with Large Fries and a Shake, supersized.

“you want some sauce with that? lmao, sorry, too soon”

As the werewolves come out in full force, the tension strengthens while a battle brews nearby...

“yall think you’re getting your hands on this goddamn armor without realizing im officiating this here gay pride parade. and guess what? you’re cancelled.”

“didn’t know clowns were part of the acronym, let alone capable of managing it. either way, you’ve gotta be at least this tall to use the armor.” 

“so why not make like a hobbit, drop the armor, and burrow back to whatever hidey hole you came from, bimbo baggins!”

“guess you didnt read the books, moron. last i checked, bilbo doesn’t lose his traveling partners.”

“that low blow only comes at the cost of outing yourself as a fucking nerd.”

“im not ashambed. im gonna blow your mind with some math: my foot, plus your face, subtracting the teeth from your mouth, equals an ass kicking.”

“NOTHING IN THAT FORMULA INVOLVES ANY ASS WHATSOEV-”

Hibiki gets in the way immediately, citing the ethical ramifications of fighting humans as opposed to talking to them, conveniently forgetting this was the same person ready to body her merely an episode or two ago.

“hey first of all please don’t say bimbo thats really degrading, and second of all clowns aren’t actually in the acronym but im sure there are some gay clowns out there so please dont talk like that and thirdly im sorta short and that hurt my feelings and fourthly killing is fucking bad, tsubasa, let us not commit human on human murder”

both of them, in unison, i shit you not:

“yo, you like murder? shit. i like murder too!”

“like oh my god! murder is my favorite hobby. i take it back, you’re chill. still gotta die, though.”

Hibiki is casually tossed aside from this fight, given her very ideas are anti-thetical to fighting as a whole.

A real sick battle ensues.

Something to note is that our spunky opponent has another relic at her disposal which summons Noise. This relic is called Solomon’s cane. You’ll learn more about it later.

Not a pretty sight.

Tsubasa is losing. Not only is she losing, but the enemy cool kid reveals a very notable detail of her plan: She was distracted Tsubasa on purpose. The real plan...

Was to kidnap Hibiki.

In an ironic twist, Tsubasa’s inability to work with her teammate not only put her teammate in danger, but explicitly allowed her opponent to fulfill her mission of trying to capture her.

“i changed my mind kick her ass please oh god”

Hibiki still has not learned her lesson.

Tsubasa gets her ass kicked. Her opponent pulls every punch in the book, with some lowdown dirty fighting.

Unfortunately, Tsubasa, having learned from the Kanade Amou Private School Of No Brain Cell Combat, she pulls the last ace from her sleeve.

“lmao bitch whatre you gonna do, sing?”

“i didnt design my hair like a fucking 8th note for nothing, you cabbage patch kid”

“then let’s hear it, motherfucker.”

[therewas-a-girl]

I was watching s1 of Arrow, bc it's on Netflix here (FINALLY) and... what happened to Laurel? She was so good in s1. WHAT WENT WRONG AFTER S1???????

Short answer - the writers think women are interchangeable, not really deserving to be treated as people and, really its easier to replace them (with the added bonus of the story they can squish out of their gruesome deaths), than say, spend brainpower to write them as humans, and allow the audience to built connections and empathy with them… and not just the whoever they are there to prop up. 

long answer… is longer, and a mess:

one of the ideas i have - one of them - is that, the whole idea behind the end of season one was that tommy’s death would affect both oliver and laurel. oliver by getting him not to kill anymore and laurel by being the ‘tragedy/loss/pain’ that would push her into becoming the Black Canary. 

(this is my intuition just from the way their journey was going, like, by following the narrative etc, and by knowing how these writers think, a little. like, what to them is the birth of a hero: death, loss tragedy. it bores me, generally, sure, but i know it when i see it.) 

i dont know what happened, but they seemed to change their minds - maybe halfway. or after s1 ended?… idk. and started casting calls for the Canary. tore laurel down to the freaking bone - and used her character to prop other characters, general at the expense of her development. or rather, her opportunities to bond the audience with her, build sympathy for her. because all those opportunities were used to build sympathy for whoever she was facing against.

(seriously, they gave laurel in s2 some emotional reactions to stuff that are so far from human emotions, i can hardly conceive of it. and im not talking about her cleaving at sara or oliver by the way. i think she had all the right in the world to feel all the rage in the world. im talking about how all her emotional reactions were framed as wrong/bad/over the top! as opportunities for oliver to act like a self righteous dick, his behavior framed by the story as ‘right’ and ‘just’. 

(i will never be over the fact that he said, to her face and utterly unironically, ‘i am still standing here, i have loved you half my life but im done running after you’ like it was an accusation, while she, and everyone else, had just found out - in laurels own home… at a dinner he was not invited to… - that he and sara were boning. like… “im fucking your sister, dropping you neck deep into the shit that is one of the most gruesome deja vu experiences in the history of ever, but how dare you be angry, you dont know whats happening in my life right now!!!! that’s obviously more important than YOUR feeling!!!”   meanwhile, im standing here o_O ???? is this walking dick foreal????), 

laurel framed as selfish? opportunity for her to apologize to sara instead of, idk, both of them forgiving each other for the fucked up things they did to each other???

[lmao i still laugh my ass off at how, in needing to frame sara less negatively for the whole ‘sleeping with her sister’s boyfriend’ thing - a gross device they used in s1 to to build sympathy for laurel; the writers did a whole ‘i saw oliver first’ thing with her, like that somehow means sara ‘planted the flag on him’ and that means something??? or gave her some sort of ‘get out of jail free card’ that essentially turned LAUREL in the boyfriend-thieving sister. LMFAO  how the tables turned!!! 

one of the most gross things arrow has done is the relationship between sara and laurel and the way they were pitted against each other - with oliver at the center. and im not saying that’s how i think of it - i like to think their issues went deeper and had fuckall to do with oliver’s dick, but that’s how the show framed it]. 

like, if there were scales, laurel would always be put on the lower one - you could tell they didnt respect her character much, because they always sacrificed it to make someone else look better. using laurel as the ‘bad guy’ to buy empathy/sympathy for some other character?) 

so, what went wrong? 

im fucked if i know. 

maybe nothing. plenty of people love laurel the way she is. including me: beautifully fucked up and flawed and, this is my idea, angry as fuck but still good. or trying to be. or maybe this is my version of laurel. as i have a version of all the characters i love - essentially everyone on the show, with the notable  exception of merlyn. 

maybe s2 was meant to be laurel’s ‘island’ - because according to arrow thats the only way to birth heroes. 

fake, that sounds. but okay. 

or maybe they thought nobody liked laurel and she wouldn’t work as the black canary anyway. so her replacement was premeditate, her journey, as some say, only a fulfillment of contractual obligations towards katie. 

or maybe the s2 journey/breakdown had been planned from the beginning?  

i don’t know. 

whatever the answer is, the result is still ??? and fucking stupid.

because the mantel was passed on from sara to laurel. sara gave laurel the proverbial jacket and went on her own way, without harm. having made up with her family, having gained her freedom (and then compromised it), having made up with her sister, redeemed herself in her own eyes and in the eyes of those she loved and who loved her. having started to see herself as a hero, and believe , finally , that she was one. or could be. 

regardless of the reason for sara’s existence, sara was and IS beautiful and so is her journey, because to me, hers is a journey of homecoming and hope.  

BUT - in s3 they killed sara regardless ??? 

even though the ‘hero mantel’ had been already passed…. and here is where i get utterly lost because, why? i dont know. i honest to god dont know.  these people put two canaries on our screen but couldn’t keep them there? neither one can live while the other one survives, apparently? there was absolutely no need for sara to die - and the shameful way she did die - NOW THAT’S WHERE I START GAINING INSIGHT - because it exposes the true nature of the writer’s hypocrisy and reasons: a woman who said the iconic line ‘no woman should suffer at the hands of men’ was murdered by a girl being controlled by a man to get TO another man, while sara was shoved into a trashcan and then a literal fridge.

this ^ is where it starts to get transparent.

like, maybe they didn’t try so hard with laurel because, they don’t try that hard with women in the arrowverse in general. 

maybe, they didn’t really know how to write laurel like a person, out of the archetype she was built to be. a woman written by and FOR the kind of people that think its important to give her stuffed bras to puff up her breasts does not bode well for her future.

i would however like to take a moment to point out the fucking hypocrisy of them reinforcing, in dinah, this whole ‘defender of women’ thing that they had going with sara AFTER WHAT THEY DID TO SARA ^^^ !!! they are trying so fucking hard to copy paste the traits of the ‘successful canary’ (whom they still killed) onto dinah, (perhaps even as a way to distance her from the ‘unsuccessful canary’) – but every time dinah says something like that, i cant help but be reminded of sara and what these same writers did to her AND HOW HYPOCRITICAL THAT MAKES HER LINES SOUND, KNOWING WHERE THEY COME FROM. like, generally the reaction i have is  -

WITH YOUR FUCKING VILLAIN MUSTACHE! 

I SEE YOU!

ps: i do not like the trend i notice that heroines are more easily accepted as heroines in arrow, when they mirror Oliver’s journey to heroism.  sara did; then her latest reincarnation - dinah - mirrored sara’s. (they tried to do it with Laurel, Felicity. in a kind of way even with diggle - though that might be a stretch)  it’s one of the reasons, i think, that sara and dinah are more successful with the fandom? they fit the mold more easily. easier to box in, pin down. their reasons, internal pushes, are easier to grasp - because they mirror the hero’s. and the hero gets plenty of exposition, and we are also basically programmed to empathize with him.

while its seems harder for people to accept that other kinds of journeys for women - not because it is harder, but because then they’d have to figure out the internal workings of these women who are DIFFERENT from the hero. people would have to really THINK about it, and generally, i find that’s not a natural inclination , when it comes to the internal worlds of people who are not the white male (presented as straight despite various queer!baiting flags) hero. 

There are other forms of journeys, motives - that would be just as brilliant as Oliver’s - or generally the ‘tragedy-born’ hero’s. And that would fit the personality of the characters better, individualize them more, make them stand out on their own. Like Laurel’s need to do good, her disappointment with the system and want to fix it, keeping a different moral code from the others. Felicity’s plain need to make an impact, do something with her life, just because. No need for ‘dark arcs’ cause that’s just how she was born as. 

But that’s a journey that would require energy to absorb, something one would have to figure out for themselves, whole watching, oftentimes even making it up, imagining it. and yeah, most ppl just dont bother. 

[tsukishima-tadashi]

a list of characters from dragon age i will defend until i die:

Goldanna (oh no! she doesn’t trust/instantly love a stranger who shows up claiming to be her brother!! how will poor alibaby survive? how drae she be bitter after being kicked out following her mothers death and forced to survive on her own as a child!! boohoo)

Queen Anora the One True Monarch of Ferelden (god, how dare a competent ruler who knows what shes doing want to maintain her throne! what a bitch! and what, what a backstabber, lying about being kidnapped after we tell loghain’s men shes with us when she just got done telling us she was in disguise because she doesnt want loghain’s men to find her. ugh! my poor listening skills are totally her fault)

Isolde (I’d need to explain why I hate Eamon to say why I like Isolde but while I dont forgive her for how she treated Alistair I sympathize with her and think the situation in Redcliffe is actually Eamons fault ngl)

Branka (heavily implied she went insane because of how becoming a paragon made her more of an icon instead of a person and that when she says “I am your paragon” its her giving into the role of someone who only lives for the dwarven people - again I dont forgive her actions but I want to acknowledge how she was affected by being put on a pedestal)

Loghain (a man abandoned a doomed military operation and a king who refused to attend tactical meetings in favor of pestering the wardens for stories because he was more concerned with glory than making sure his men had the best chance? the nerve. and now he doesnt want to accept help from the imperialistic nation that raped his mother in front of him (after threatening to kill him, a little boy, to get her to comply) and then bashed her skull in (again, in front of him), saw beat unarmed farmers to death,. etc etc, that he risked life and limb to gain independence from, watching friends die for the same cause? the nation that he knows “helped” nevarra during the 2nd blight only to take it over rigth after? how obtuse.)

Bhelen (he honestly loves Rica to the point where he felt safe crying in front of her after his dad died, when asked about fathers death he says “father just couldn’t live without you, implying jealousy re: the fact that bhelen is canonically the unfavorite of Endrin’s children, he forces Orzammar to give up the traditions that are strangling it, and in the Descent DLC (if you played an Aeducan) we find out that he hasnt given up on searching for the warden (whereas harrowmont does) after they go to find a cure for the calling, and (if the warden was a dwarf) spared no expense on the wardens paragon statue (whereas harrowmont cuts corners with the costs and is probably jealous)

Velanna (obv not NT and she Gets Better and her resolution to create new culture for the dalish is admirable)

Merrill (she’s not dumb. she knows what shes doing. nothing wouldve gone wrong if it wasnt for the fact that Marethari refused to leave her be. everything is maretharis fault. the eluvian isnt evil, its a tool. an object. morrigan fixed an eluvian and no one calls her an idiot.)

Fenris (hes a survivor of slavery, abuse, and rape. i think hes entitled to a little bitterness and distrust even if i disagree with what he says)

Gamlen (this is like. the one im least passionate about but. he had  no obligation to leandra. she ran way. he had no reason to think she was coming back. and hes right to be bitter that his parents only cared about leandra when he was taking care of them until the day they died. and when he asks leandra to clean hes right to say she can help out a little. she isnt a noblewoman anymore. theyre in poverty. if she wanted to have the kind of life where she didnt have to lift a finger she shouldnt have ran off with malcolm.)

Sebastian Vael (hes literally the least preachy chantry faithful character ever?? he suggest dalish beliefs and chantry beliefs arent neccesarily incompatible. he doesnt shame isabela or try to get her to repent. he offers fenris a job despite his being an elf. he acknowledges that “preaching seldom works”. he tells tallis that he knows the chantry has failed the elves. hes very wise and open minded. he just isnt willing to tolerate a terrorist)

Carver (he has an inferiority complex due to his father’s (neccesary) neglect. cut him slack.)

Sera (she has a right to resent people who treat her like crap - the dalish can be nasty to city elves. she says in trespasser that they made her feel “broken”. and she matures a lot in trespasser so shut up.)

Vivienne (she cares a lot about mages. thats why she hates the rebel mages. theyve killed people. theyve killed other mages. theyve made the common man afraid of them, made them hate them. as divine she gives mages both freedom and responsibility and keeps the templars on a tight leash. shes passionate about this issue because she believes in the circles. shes also one of people who goes out of her way to make sure the inquisitor is feeling okay after stressful events. she is very compassionate. and nasty to people who are nasty to her. thats her right.)

Solas (too long for this post)

Blackwall (hes trying)

Celene (long drawn out sigh)

Calpernia (do i really need to)

Clarel (let me BE)

Fiona

Alexius

Mayor Gregory Dedrick

Mistress Poulin

Characters I will berate until I die:

Alistair (I dont HATE him I just thinks hes a little selfish and needs to get over Ostagar and start taking responsibility and thinking more about others)

Eamon (UGH. UGH!! Sexist traditionalist asshole. Wants to use Alistair as a puppet. Married a girl years younger than him. Probably knew Connor was a mage and did nothing because hes so concerned with blood! what the fuck)

Harrowmont (he isnt nice. hes a conservative. those things arent nice. he level dust town if you give him golems. he refuses outside support for orzammar that he desperately needs)

Anders (UGH. its not even just the terrorist bit! hes an asshole to EVERYONE. he tries to “educate” merrill on chantry beliefs. implies shes stupid for not accepting what the circle spoonfed him. and then expects her and other dalish mages to care abotu circle mages. he calls isabela a “side dish”. he compares fenris, a former slave that has survived rape and abuse, to an animal and constantly antagonizes him, going as far to ask why he didnt kill himself. he calls aveline an idiot on multiple occasions. he tells a city elf warden that “you dont get locked up for who you are” when. hello. alienages?? aight. doesnt give a damn about elf oppression, just mages. hes an asshole. the terrorism is just icing on the shit flavored cake.)

[thesquidwizard]

I was told reading  Philosophical problems with blah blah blah would answer why making 500 genders would solve gender stereotypes I am petty and affable so I read it

If you want my opinions and my mind slowly melting i am kindly putting this under a read more cuz its fucking long as shit

the TLDR is : this drivel doesnt mention the problems of gender stereotypes or neogenders at all its just some guy wanking on why women need to give up their spaces because he thinks their wrong and annoying ( Kathleen Stock especially)

I’d love to @ you lake-lady, but you blocked me for thought crimes and im to lazy to try to get around that ( if you actually read this before recommending it to me, you are very very strong and very very brainwashed)

the first 14 paragraphs are circle talk "GC feminists are wrong, i will prove their wrong, they think "this" it is wrong ill prove its wrong etc etc etc" if you survive that that, They focus on Kathleen Stock in their words "Stock presents an articulate, relatively comprehensive, and moderate form of gender-critical feminism" first: If Margie’s self-diagnosis (“I’m a boy”) is questioned by the therapist, the therapist can be construed as . . . “converting” . . . a trans child to a “cis” one. If, on the other hand, Margie’s self-diagnosis is affirmed unquestioningly, the therapist is effectively failing to affirm Margie in a sexual orientation of lesbianism; something which also looks like conversion by omission. (Stock, 2018e) -They spend 5 paragraphs explaining why Stocks hypothetical girl^ isnt converted to male heterosexualness by transitioning, and not affirming Marges Gender identity is Dangerous They do not address Stocks ACTUAL concern that Gender Affirming Therapy without any kind of therapy and research on GNC and SSA children is conversion by omission because it doesnt take into account if these feelings stem from gender stereotypes and homophobia. Stocks is not concerned that you are converting this girl straight( sex is real she would be SSA either way) she is concerned your transitioning her without affirming her sexuality and giving her support in the knowledge that being a lesbian is okay and perfectly normal.-

Next: concern about female-only spaces is about legal self-identification without any period of “living as a woman,” prior male socialisation in a way which exacerbates the tendency to violence against female bodies, and the fact that many self-identifying trans women . . . retain both male genitalia and a sexual orientation towards females. (stock) If the evidence shows (as, in fact, it is already showing) that some males—whether genuinely “truly” trans or just pretending—turn out to pose a threat to females, and it’s really hard to tell in advance which ones will, can’t we then make a social norm and/or law to exclude all [natal] males from female-only spaces . . . ? (also stock)

-Quotes are separated by garbage but this whole section is what we have all seen before " why must trans woman suffer, just because cis men hurt woman" except its really long it acknowledges male violence rates but refuses to acknowledge we have already seen men (and identified transwoman) taking advantage to hurt woman. This whole chunk is just SOME woman must be sacrificed for Trans feelings-

They do put: Finally, we know that some men who come into contact with children in their work will offend against them. Yet we do not exclude all men from working with children, even if using gender as a watershed would prevent those offenses. Why does the good of minimizing child sexual abuse not lead us inexorably to the conclusion that we must outlaw all male teachers and coaches? Because our practical reason recognizes complexity: We readily see that even the most highly desirable states of affairs (minimizing abuse of children) do not have simple, quasi-mechanistic implications for policy or decision-making, and that they do not justify the indiscriminate suppression of other goods (even less important ones, such as professional vocations).

-And id like to add with the rise in pedo crimes I am 100% down with separating men from children because i do not think any child should be endangered just to keep men in jobs.-

They also put this quote in:

there is clearly a difference between the experience of a child who is treated by others in way that are characteristic of boys and also feels like a boy, and a child who is treated by others in ways that are characteristic of boys whilst feeling that they are really a girl. (Finlayson et al., 2018)

-And are you sure? are you really sure? I feel like there might be differences between social conditioning, experience and feelings. A boy treated like a boy and a boy(who feels like a girl) treated like a boy are still experiencing being treated and raised like a boy?? one just has emotional differences  (is it internalized homophobia, Gender non conformity, a developed fetish?? who knows but they still experienced boyhood)-

-Next section says we cant make single stall or any other kind of netrual or trans bathrooms because its to hard? and it hurts trans feels reminding them that they have birth sexes because thats hate speech???-

also this: Our social world is arranged in a way that makes exclusion from the sex/gender they claim—on the basis of a lack of “authentic” belonging (Serano, 2007)—central to trans subordination. As with other forms of social subordination, trans exclusion has not only material dimensions (Blair & Hoskin, 2018; Hargie et al., 2017; Moolchaem et al., 2015; Movement Advancement Project and GLSEN, 2017; Rondón Garcia & Martin Romero, 2016; Serano, 2013; Stonewall, n.d.; Yona, 2015), but also discursive ones that work in accordance with the logic of so-called performatives. Performatives are utterances that do things with words: specifically, they accomplish something in the act of saying it (Austin, 1975). The classical example is marriage—in the act of declaring a couple married, a celebrant brings about a change in their normative status, provided the celebrant is the right person in the right circumstances. This presupposes a normative background (that is a set of laws, conventions, or other rules) governing all those matters: who qualifies as a legitimate celebrant, what the right circumstances are for the performative to do its work, what marriage status means in terms of spouses’ rights and obligations, etc.

-Celebrating a Marriage is celebrating a couples chosen form of representing their relationship publicly and adding each other to their legal family, how is that the same as letting men into woman's bathrooms because they have feelings??-

-Theres more babblery about subjugating trans people by not pretending biology is fake, and that saying they cant just taking womans rights and spaces is denying their reality and existence we find out the author is a gay(cis) man so why does he have opinions on womans spaces and issues who fucking knows ( he really likes the word unintelligible)-

-Im tired, Ive taken several breaks just to stay clear headed( mildly sane) and now we are onto why Trans inclusive practices dont threaten the concept of female, male, lesbian and gay. Okay buddy ole pal bring it on-

Stock (2018b) has also argued that trans inclusion on the ground of self-identification/declaration threatens “a secure understanding” of concepts intimately related to “woman”—namely, “female” and “lesbian.” It is hard to see this threat as a real one. After all, conceptually, “trans maleness” and “trans femaleness” presuppose “cis maleness” and “cis femaleness” as their other—namely, the case of female and male for which no transition, no reaching across, is required: the case of femaleness and maleness already on this side of (= “cis”) their sex.

-At some point i expect to find out Stock implied his dick is tiny or something " gender crit feminists are wrong im gonna argue with just this one" In this section he manages to be long winded and say nothing have a taste:

Stock (2019b) argues, correctly, that “sex [i.e., maleness and femaleness] is not determined by any single, unitary set of essential criteria,” and that “there is no single set of features a person must have in order to count as male or female.” She goes on to state that: (a) “you do still need to possess some” female (biological) sex characteristics to count as female; (b) that this is “a real, material condition upon sex-category-membership”; and (c) that “medical professionals [assigning sex]. . . rely upon an established methodology, aimed at capturing pre-existing biological facts” (Stock 2019b). Stock presents (a), (b), and (c) as if they were true without qualification. In fact, they only describe how, for very legitimate reasons, sex is understood and assigned within the discourses of biology and medicine; but our everyday usages of “male” and “female” may well be more capacious. It does not follow, of course, that there is no connection at all between these discursive domains—biology and the everyday. Rather, something like the biological meaning of “male” and “female” refer to the central cases of “male” and “female” as those terms feature in everyday usages. But those usages, if trans-inclusive (as they should be), will also cover, legitimately and usefully, noncentral cases of those selfsame terms.

-Yes you need to be female to be female, it doesnt matter what you look like how much you weigh your hobbies or tastes you just need to be female. Observed Biology is observed not assigned we dont pop out blank slates until someone says "ya this ones a girl"-

There really is no good reason to fear that such trans-inclusive practices will imperil “maleness” and “femaleness” as concepts. It is the very fact that those concepts have and will retain central cases that puts to rest any such fear. What makes something like the biological meanings of “male” and “female” the central cases of everyday usages of those words is “[o]rdinary-life truth seeking, a certain level of which is essential for survival”; this “involves a swift instinctive testing of innumerable kinds of coherence against innumerable kinds of extra-linguistic data” (Murdoch, 1992). Reproduction is a key aspect of human experience: The existence of each of us and the perpetuation of the human species presuppose it. The extra-linguistic reality of the dioecious configuration of human bodies, which is functional to human reproduction, means both that the concept of “female” and “male” are here to stay, and that their central cases will remain well-understood, even after we give up on trans-exclusionary attitudes, practices, and policies. To put it another way: trans-inclusive linguistic usages, policies, and so on, cannot threaten the distinction between the concepts of “male” and “female,” which hinges on the nondisposability of the central cases of those concepts.

For similar reasons, it is difficult to agree with Stock that characterizing as “gay” trans men attracted to men, and as “lesbian” trans women attracted to women, “leaves us with no linguistic resources to talk about that form of sexual orientation that continues to arouse the distinctive kind of bigotry known as homophobia” (Stock, 2019d). After all, our linguistic conventions make cissexual womanhood and manhood the central or paradigmatic cases of “womanhood” and “manhood”; cissexual (though not necessarily gender-conforming) lesbianism and male homosexuality the central or paradigmatic cases of “lesbianism” and “male homosexuality,” and so on. This will not change. First because of the prevalence of cissexual women/men and cissexual lesbians/gay men, in terms of sheer numbers, relative to trans women/men and trans lesbians/gay men. Second, because of the ways in which the concepts of “man,” “woman,” “gay,” “lesbian,” “cis,” and “trans” sit together with the concepts of “male” and “female,” which reference an extra-linguistic reality, of which, as we have already seen, we cannot but take notice. Given these linguistic and empirical facts, a trans-inclusive use of the terms “lesbian” and “gay” does not carry the dangers Stock (2019d) worries about.

-I keep going back and checking the date this was published  in 2020 clearly this man has neither been online except to stalk Stock, nor talked to a human who actually believes what he is arguing against. No one is mad at transwoman for liking woman or vise versa its the kind of woman and men they go after and EXPECT romance and validation from ( ie lesbians and gay men, ie threatening what lesbian and gay mean in "inclusive" climates) fucking knob.-

I dunno if this is translated or the writer isnt english but he keeps using subordination where "opression" would be used and umm. anyway onto "Overemphasizing Sex-Based Subordination"

first he explains the difference between paranoid and paranoid structuralism there is so much fucking bullshit then we get to some quotes! that are bullshit-

Even assuming that the socialization of trans girls mirrors that of cis boys, the fact that trans girls do not identify with maleness can be expected to make a difference to the outcomes of such socialization (Finlayson et al., 2018).

-this guys back, love this guy doesnt know you dont fucking socialize yourself-

It is a mistake to treat “violence and discrimination against trans women . . . as if it were unconnected to that faced by cis women” (Finlayson et al., 2018).

 -Finlayson marry me your so smart, that big brain of yours is sooo sexy. Anyway transwoman and "cis" woman face violence from the same people.. Men. but it is not for the same reasons and most transwoman who face violence are brown and black sex workers( if your gonna care go wholesys not halfseys). As opposed to woman who face violence no matter their class, race, nationality, age.. etc etc etc-

Saying “Not giving people everything they desire is not a denial of their humanity” (Allen et al., 2019) amounts to an insensitive dismissal of the serious argument that trans exclusion is ipso facto harmful.

-I want an affordable home and access to food and water whenever i am hungry, you want me to pretend reality doesnt exist so your feefees dont get hurt-

The claim that women “are a culturally subordinated group . . . [while] at best, trans women are a distinct subordinated group; at worst . . . members of the dominant group” entirely discounts the ways in which sex, gender, and cis/trans status intersect. These intersections produce more complex, shifting, and context-dependent power relationships than are captured by the M > F formula.

-Sex based oppression is actually like jello, sometimes woman are less oppressed or oppressed slightly more to the left, I too can just kinda say words-

A dubious assumption underlies this statement: “[T]he fact that our concept-application [of, e.g., ‘woman’] might indirectly convey disadvantage towards some social groups [e.g., trans women] is not itself a reason to criticise the concept use, because the concept use has a further valuable point” (such as “to pick out a distinctive group, relative to recognisably important interests”) (Stock, 2019e). The dubious assumption here is that the “valuable point” of a restrictive use of the concept will be lost if the concept is broadened. The assumption is dubious because even in its broad, inclusive use, the concept retains a readily identifiable central case.

-Yes you dunder head if we start calling lizards mammals we lose the point of what makes a mammal a mammal, which complicates and endangers our way of researching and understanding mammals by making woman "whoever the fucks wants to be one" we loss the ability to easily talk about things that are exclusive to woman the more female language is edified the harder it is for females to unite to talk about womans issues, womans health, girls puberty, womans oppression etc etc.-

-my fuck i dont even care to learn this mans name and i have a personal hatred just for him, i hope ya'll have noticed he uses several different "sources" for his arguments and yet pins GC feminism on Stock alone. Anyway here we go into Doing Philosophy and Debating Policy in the Age of Social Media and Digital Platforms ( i think this man nuts every time he types out philosophy)-

my god we have brough Plato into this, Stocks must stand alone but we are at fucking plato, anyway this section actually has some brains in it there drivel but also truth:

Needless to say, in real-world face-to-face exchanges, unalloyed communicative action is known only by approximation. But there are very good reasons to think that the distance between the ideal (namely, communicative action) and the real is especially wide in the context of the quasi-spoken digital media used to construct (and respond to) the gender-critical case against trans inclusion. Stock (2019f) herself, discussing the reception of her arguments, has complained about countless “half-arsed takedown attempts” by “online philosophers,” crediting, conversely, philosophers she meets offline with “interesting, constructive, and charitable” objections. She also notes that social media siphons “users into paranoid, angry silos” (Stock, 2019d), and that “when reading disembodied words on a screen” it is “easy enough” to engage in “projection” (Stock, 2019a). Why and how do social media and allied platforms have this potential for distorting genuine communicative action?

First, they enable new manipulative communication practices, such as flaming and trolling. The popular support base of gender-critical academics makes ample use of these, though gender-critical scholars are also at the receiving end. Rather than using the quasi-spoken features of social media and allied platforms with a view to genuinely advancing understanding, online activists may exploit these features for strategic aims. Common techniques include drowning a post or blog with irrelevant comments; exposing the blogger to ridicule; deflecting attention from the point she made; forcing her to address spurious objections; pretextually professing a failure to understand, demanding endless further explanations; and so on. Some of these techniques are available in spoken exchanges, but social media and allied platforms magnify their power by enabling “widely-distributed individuals to organize and galvanize around issues of common interest [or] political advocacy” (Stewart, 2016); and by facilitating the use of nonverbal or nonargument-based, but effective, communicative devices, such as memes, gifs, and emoticons.

Another way in which these digital media distort genuine communicative action is by affecting the motivations of the blogger, or micro-blogger, herself. Specifically, they facilitate the interference with genuinely communicative goals (reaching understanding) by noncommunicative, strategic aims. I will discuss three: acquiring influence, career progression, and venting.

In traditional academic communicative practice, one’s recognition as an expert is supposed to follow from the credit that accrues to one as a result of the soundness of one’s research methods and arguments, judged through peer-review processes. But “in the era of social media there are now many different ways that a scientist can build their public profile; the publication of high-quality scientific papers being just one” (Hall, 2014). Veletsianos and Kimmons (2016) have found, by examining a large data set of education scholars’ participation on Twitter, that

being widely followed on social media is impacted by many factors that may have little to do with the quality of scholarly work . . . and . . . that participation and popularity may be impacted by a number of additional factors unrelated to scholarly merit (e.g., wit, controversy, longevity; p. 6).

-This section like every section goes on forever but we finally finally reach our conclusion-

Cooper (2019) has invoked a legal pluralist perspective to argue that it is possible, and may be desirable, for gender as conceived by gender-critical feminists (as “sex-based domination”) and gender as conceived in trans-affirming terms (as “identity diversity”) to coexist side-by-side in the law. Access to women’s spaces is just the kind of policy matter that need not choose between one conception of gender and the other: it can and should be granted on the basis of both. While a compelling feminist case has been made for inclusion (Finlayson et al., 2018), the best feminist case against inclusion suffers from a number of argumentative fallacies (Aristotle, n.d.), and is at odds with well-established and sound uses of practical reason. Many problems in gender-critical thought are consistent with the explanation that paranoid structuralism is too often presupposed in gender-critical work, rather than being treated, productively, as a hypothesis. The nature of the publication outlets favored by gender-critical feminists (social media, blogs, etc.) is also likely to be implicated in generating some of these problems.

I think one of the things i would like anyone who managed to read this entire thing to take away from this is that not ONCE were male bathrooms or male spaces mentioned, not once did this apparently "cis" gay man say that he welcomes and wants transmen in HIS spaces or that he has even thought about it

(((( also he didnt even mention neo genders so my original question 100% unanswered, even fuckface magee doesnt think demiboys are real. He doesnt want to or even mention solving sex based oppression he just wants woman to stop fighting to keep men out))))