#dont feel bad they look adorable!!
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luck-of-the-drawings · 7 months ago
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"I think this is the most inhuman; and human, that I've ever felt.." MUCH CAN HAPPEN IN A YEAR. IN FIVE YEARS. A DECADE. imagine how much can happen in a century. just ONE (1). How will you grow? what phases do you find? even in 5 years, you will find patterns.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi suckening#jrwi suckening spoilers#jrwi the suckening#arthur bennett#HEY SO THE REALLY FUNNY THING THAT THE CHARACTER DID THAT SEEMED RLY SILLY N GOOFY IN THE MOMENT?#LIKE THE WHIPLASH BETWEEN SERIOUS N SILLY ALMOST PISSED YOU OFF? WHAT IF I FOUND A WAY TO MAKE YOU SAD ABOUT IT#this was meant to be a scribble that would be a bigger part of a bigger page.might leave it on that page.#but still. bc o that i nearly posted it onto my wacky side blog.BUT NAYY I SPENT TOO MUCH TIME N ENERGY N YOU GOTTA SEE IT#ARTHUR BENNETT DRIVES ME CRAZY. I FEEL LIKE ITS ODD FOR HIM TO BE SO TECHNOLOGICALLY OUT OF TOUCH#WHERE HAS HE BEEN. HAS HE BEEN IN WAR? IS THAT WHERE MAGNUS CAME FROM? WHERE WAS HE WHEN HE WAS WITH EDWARDS CREW?#ARTHURRR I HAVE QUESTIONS ARTTHUUURR!! HEY CAN I ALSO ASK; WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU BECOME#DO YOU THINK HE HAD ANY IDEA HE WOULD VEER CLOSER AND CLOSER TO THE MONSTER HE DESPISES. ALL BC HE DESERVES IT. OR WATEVER#HE FASCINATES ME SO MUCH. TO LOOK AT THE STONE COLD STOIC FOOL FROM THE START OF THE SHOW#AND TO FIND OUT THAT HE USED TO BE A BAD BOY.. A DELINQUENT... A LIL PRANKSTER.... MY GODDD THATS ADORABLE#I WOULD LOVE TO KNOW MORE.... BUT I DOUBT THE LAST EPISODE IS GONNA ANSWER THOSE QUESTIONS..i love arthur bennett so much....#AS FOR THE ART!! i mostly used the fire alpaca watercolor brush. tbh im not a brush guy. anti aliased default pen tends to be my main game#but LATELY IM SQQQUIRMIN OUT OF AN ARTBLOCK so expirimenting like this is helping#DONT LOOK TOO HARD AT IT!! im still proud tho. colors are fun :3 im also very proud of the backgrounds#I LOVE THE CARTOON THING where the background looks all fancy n painted but the characters are solid colors#what else can i ramble abt. OH YEAH. i looked up the bikes to make sure they were time accurate tehehehe. 1913 to 2012.#almost a century apart!! isnt that neat? ALSO FUUUCK CAN I JUST MAKE A QUICK CONFESSION. DOWN HERE IN MY TAGS.#only the strongest can read my tags anwyay. SO I REALIZED WHY I LOVE ARTHUR SO MUCH. TIME IS A FLAT CIRCLE#while arthur is a Stoic and Cool vampire w a knack for being playful/silly; who alsos been alive fora century thus witnessing HORRORs#THERE HAPPENS TO BE A ROBOT FROM A BAND W A TITANIUM ALLOY SPINAL COLLUMN#WHOS A Stoic and Cool ROBOT w a knack for being playful/silly; who alsos been alive fora century thus witnessing HORRORS#the fuckkkiiinnngggnn The Spine from steam powered giraffe. WHATEVER. i cant escape from my heart. i guess.#i think The Spine and Arthur could be friends. Arthur saw the band perform back when they were the Steam Man Band#EDIT: WOOPS I DIDNT REALIZE THIS WOULD END UP IN THE SPG TAG. HI GUYS DIDNT KNOW U WERE STILL ALIVE SORREE 4 THE CROSS CONTAMINATION
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🌸 Falling into you 🌸
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cherry-treelane · 5 months ago
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his hand on her arm/back is the cutest thing ever and yes i will be taking this two second interaction and obsessing over it
#cr fionnagallagher#listen#its so indicative of their dynamic its so adorable#because i was out with some family friends last week and i noticed that the son (hes like 20 or something) kept putting his hand#gently on his mother's arm/back in some supportive caring gesture as if he was protecting her and steering her#obviously she didnt need it but its like so instinctual on his part and a cute sentiment more than anything#its just so fucking heartwarming and protective like thats the woman who raised and protected this boy#now hes caring for her the same way#im going insane look at the beginning how he notices her crossed arms her worried face and instantly makes a move to comfort her#theres something so soft and tender about his affection for her he doesn't want anything bad to happen to her#or for her to feel any pain because she tried so hard to shield him from those things when he was little#he cares a lot in general about being there for her#like in s6 when fiona had to speak to cousin patrick and she was going with sean#but lip was like “are you sure you dont need me?” or something like that#also those scenes in that s4 episode after he finds her in sheboygan#he keeps showing the same affection where hes protecting her and steering her AND IT'S LIKE.... SHE DID THAT FOR HIM WHEN HE WAS A KID#SHE PUT HER HAND ON HIS BACK THE SAME WAY WHEN WALKING WITH HIM WHEN HE WAS LITTLE.#Like thats what i do with my littlest brother whos only 5 rn#Ur telling me the roles will be reversed one day....😭❤️‍🩹😭❤️‍🩹😭❤️‍🩹😭???
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reel-fear · 8 months ago
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Honestly, every single time the whole 'poppy playtime is a bendy rip-off' stuff ever shows up I find it all extremely unconvincing and silly.
For one thing, rip-off usually is meant to imply that it's a cheap lazy copy of a better more polished thing, and uh. Sorry but even from chapter 1? Poppy Playtime is a better game than Bendy, it has a simple but understandable story, the game manages to be thrilling, creepy, and very intense at times... I mean that Huggy chase in the vents ALONE puts it way above Batim for me.
I mean BATDR had the most slow stupid chase I've ever seen [and every other encounter with the ink demon is text telling u he's there and then a timer goes down and u get jumpscared] and batim's chases were either silly or just not nearly as theatric or terrifying as that.
When making the vent sequence I mean not only is it absolutely horrifying to realize how fast Huggy is in there but also it's so theatric and cool? The fact that you round a corner after thinking you escaped only to see a terrifying animation of that thing crawling toward you is awesome! I wish Bendy had stuff like that!
And all the stuff it shares with Bendy are generic things Bendy ripped from other horror games/media anyways. I'm not saying Poppy Playtime isn't inspired by Bendy I for sure think it is but Bendy is such a generic story that somehow fails to do tropes 100 other horror games have done any comparison only makes Poppy Playtime look better.
"It has employees being sacrificed for their company" That is not a concept Bendy invented, literally look at any of the sci-fi horror series Bendy is very inspired by. This is literally a twist in the original Alien.
"It has a scary woman forcing you to do tasks for her" Once again, not a concept Bendy invented, a scary mysterious person forcing you to do fetch-quests is a concept found in tons of horror media. And at least Poppy Playtime gave you a chase with her and let you defeat her, look at poor malice. She's barely on screen for more than 10 minutes before she gets stabbed.
"It has a cult worshipping the monster" This is something tons of horror games and media have done too. I mean In The Tall Grass has a guy who worships a giant magical rock in the middle of a grass maze, Bioshock [which Bendy has only been taking more and more direct inspiration from while failing to grab any of the compelling parts] also had a lot of themes of religion and cult-ish behavior, almost every horror media franchise has at one point done a cult thing.
Bendy couldn't even come up with a reason Sammy worships the ink demon, the best motivation we've ever gotten is just that 'he's crazzyyyy the ink made him insaneeee'. Who is the cheap rip-off here?
At least Poppy Playtime gave their cultist a motive for worshipping the monster + a proper boss fight that feels intense and looks awesome! Bendy didn't even let you kill Malice [she got stabbed in front of you and then just collapsed on the floor how thrilling] meanwhile you get to kill three of the villains in Poppy Playtime and the gameplay and action in those scenes have only gotten better as the game went on.
I mean Sammy walks into a room and goes "AAA SCARY I'M BEING MURDERED" then later shows up and for NO REASON sees a normal human man and assumes it's the ink demon before once again someone else kills him for you. In Poppy Playtime you defeat Catnap as he floods the world with this horrible nightmare-inducing gas that intensifies the color palette and his design. Fight off versions of him that are illusions that you need your flare gun for, then watch in a wonderful animation as he mistakes the monster for his savior before getting killed by it, in a brutal way I might add, which game are we accusing of being cheap, lazy garbage again?
I just find this argument to be people who Really Really need to find a reason to hate Poppy Playtime which I think is silly. The devs being weird, shady people is already enough reason to dislike the game, you don't need to invent reasons why secretly every part of the game is malicious or bad. But esp when I see Bendy fans saying they don't support Poppy Playtime or dislike it bc of its devs or even saying its cringe ummmm.
I have bad news about the fact Bendy's devs are worse and it took not one, but TWO over an hour long videos to cover it all. Plus the Bendy games are just the worse games in every aspect, if I could sell my batim copy for a copy of Poppy Playtime I wouldn't hesitate at all.
Saying this as a bendy fan, we have no right to be super judgy towards Poppy Playtime. If Poppy Playtime is embarrassing cringe, Bendy is too and is way more embarrassing of an interest. We shouldn't spread misinformation just because we all want to hate Poppy Playtime, you can dislike Poppy Playtime without making up a bunch of nonsense to justify it.
Honestly seeing people just blatantly be unfairly mean to Poppy Playtime only makes its critics look worse and makes it hard to take any backlash to the games seriously. Because surprise surprise if you spread misinformation to make a point people will quickly stop listening to Anything you have to say bc they won't trust you're telling the truth anymore.
#feel free to reblog but Im not gonna tag this its way too rambley at least for my taste to go in the main tags#ramblez#also man can I say I didnt want to make this post super long but theres so many other points I could make in poppys favor#the fact we got to see the hour of joy and it was terrifying we dont even know if joey actually killed anyone anymore#the gameplay itself is more diverse and fun then batim which is a walking simulator that pretends to have fighting n stealth mechanics#at least Poppy n Missys friendship gives u a reason to care for missys safety before shes put in danger#Missy can actually express unlike Boris who sits there looking cute with no proper expressions until he gets yoinked and ur supposed to car#bc he was uh adorable? And therefore you spend an entire chapter tryna get him and get an extremely bad boss fight in return-#also soundtrack wise I like poppys tracks more theyre unique and fun and you can tell which part of the game they come from#bendy has so many dramatic reveal stingers and tracks that are really hard to tell which part of the game they come from#bertrums boss fight has my favorite theme bc its so specifically crafted for him and unique and meanwhile Norman has one of the worst imo#a lot of Bendys soundtrack if I played it for you right now it would be hard to guess where its from bc it all kinda sounds the same#the reveal music for the machine for bendy land for heavenly toys for alices domain all sound the same x_x#its just so frustrating but yeah my point is can we all stop making up new reasons to shit on poppy playtime its just kinda dumb#it feels less like actual criticism and at this point just feels like elaborate justification for cringe culture which I hate#okay thats it bye sorry this is 10 pages long-
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faineant-girl · 2 months ago
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feeling really in my own head and Bad today but on a light note i got some cute compliments yesterday at the renfest so thats pretty cool
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seariii · 9 months ago
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Thinking about how in emotional stuff intp self has actually been popping out more often, even before... Questioning if that's good or bad... Maybe means I'm emotionally exhausted?
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lottieurl · 2 years ago
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me realizing some people were emotionally hit by the twist that it's a dream sequence while i was watching it the whole time absolutely sure it wasn't real but still worried it might be and thinking about how the true horror was shauna being all touchy feely towards the baby
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psalmsofpsychosis · 7 months ago
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You: power couple
Me, An Intellectual: Alfred and 13 years old Bruce giving each other military salute before Alfred follows Bruce to basically their deathbeds, knowing full well that Bruce is leading them both to where devil dares not look but he'd rather die besides Bruce than live safe on his own anyway
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pyrriax · 3 months ago
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some screenshots of today's valence smp shenanigans! including the revamped silvertree fish market (which i totally winged but it turned out nicely), the thing the sold me on this specific spot (balcony) & the event that i was horribly unprepared for!
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kittyhazelnut · 2 years ago
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You have to kidding when you say lokius or whatever is the superior Loki ship? Just because you ship it that doesn't make it superior. On top of that Mobius is the ugliest person to ever ship loki with
man, fuck off. someone asked me my opinion on Loki ships and I responded with my opinion on Loki ships. this is that whole "everyone on tumblr is chronically online and thinks every post must be About Them Specifically" bullshit I was talking about earlier. a girl can't even call her fav ship superior in her own post about her own ships without some asshole getting mad that I didn't account for Every Single Marvel Fan's Opinion Ever. make your own post about your own favorite Loki ship if you're this bitter idfc just go away
#also imagine thinking 'he's ugly' is a good defense about why you don't like a ship?#especially when that ugly person is Owen Wilson as Mobius M Mobius‚ the most precious bean of all precious beans???#when i look at Mobius I don't even see Mobius okay when I look at Mobius i see a being who descended from the heavens#Jesus Himself wept the first time He saw Mr. Mobius M. Mobius because He knew He would never live up to this man#I don't see how you can be upset with *me* for seeing Mobius for the beautiful wholesome fantastic man he is#is it my fault that you're too blind to see the complete and utter adoration Mobius has for this man‚ this god‚ this BEING he's been#searching for for years? is it my fault that you don't understand how deeply and hopelessly in love Mobius fell before hed even met a Loki?#your ignorance to the greatest love story of all time reflects only on yourself‚ anon‚ not on me#fr tho jokes aside i dont give a fuck what you ship and what you don't ship just keep that shit to yourself and your anti community#like why do you hate happiness anon?#when taylor swift said 'i want to be defined by the things that i love‚ not the things i hate‚ not the things that im afraid of‚ the things#that haunt me in the middle of the night‚' she was handing you a guide on how to be less of a miserable fuck and you just threw it out the#window#I'm not even mad man i just feel bad that your life is so miserable you gotta send mean anons about pointless shit#(also the fact that i wrote a whole paragraph praising thorki and you had an issue with my one sentence about lokius is embarrassing 💀)#look i have an ask#i need to stop posting at night because this was a lot of tags for an ask that I'll forget about in 20 minutes lmao
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termagax · 1 year ago
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i cant post the full of these until tommorow but bweeeeeee isnt he so cuteness
#did this comic relatively fast for me and i like about 50% of it#which. its getting posted tommorow morning so yknow itll have to do#experiencing one of those 'idk how to draw this without it looking bad' 'guess itll just have to look bad :sunglasses:' moments#BUT i think these expressions are cute and theyre more in line with what i want to be doing in general anyways? pushing it in a#direction i feel like ive struggled with before. i like cartoon overbites though i think theyre so adorable. maybe this is just what growin#up on the simpsons does to a motherfucker. anyways#my boyfie. baby style#trying to decide in my head how old i actually want him to be in some of theseeeee#because iirc. again im not going to check. the new official timeline puts him at being 20#but the way I had the timeline before in my MIND. he wouldve been a little older. not so much but like. 26-28 yk.#and fish wouldve been closer to 20-22#which idk i think its a little bit different of a dynamic to have 28-20 instead of two 20 year olds. so it would change things#but also i just idk i dont think him being that young works with how they talk about him pre-wasteland in. any of the official stuff#its just because he has terminal old man disease i think but like. idk i feel like even 28 is too young but thats like as far as i feel goo#squishing the junkertown timeline down to#and even then i think. that it breaks ? something else?#ive never done the maths but i think it breaks junkrat. because hes supposed to have been born in like. a more or less fully formed#junkertown? and with jq in charge for like. half of his life.#this part of the timeline doesnt work anyways#it barely works with the official read#theres not really a good way to have my cake (older boyfriend) and it eat too (everything else makes sense in my mind)#🐟
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silverselfshippingchaos · 6 months ago
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the way she looks at him here... goodness...
#ash rambles 💚#a heaven full of stars 💙❤️#the emotions..#but also#gah#IT SHOULD BE MEEEE#I WANT HER TO LOOK AT ASH LIKE THAT 😭😭😭😭#the way she's crying but her eyes are filled with nothing but love and admiration??#GAAAHHH IT SHOULD BE MEEEEE#she should be looking at her best friend of over a decade like that! the red to her blue! fire to her water! those ten years without her#were the most painful part of ash's life and i know she'd cry too seeinf a.qua again#i think a lot about how fucked up ash is mentally after the events of her game. her buddies t.erra and v.en? gone. her adopted father? gone#her best friend who she had fallen in love with? ash had to watch in horror as she fell into the darkness screaming and sobbing and begging#to just take her instead. you see ash punching at the ground a lot. the combination of all that + the fire spells she casts really did a#number on her hands and she keeps them wrapped up for over a decade since her scars are just another reminder of her not being good enough#man. what a character. i cooked.#anyways#my wife! i adore her so much! i spend so much time thinking about how I'm not good enough for her that i tend to forget that i love her#i love her with all my being and thats what matters#teehee i even have my plushie of her next to me rn!#man shes so perfect#just wanna wrap my arms around her waist and hold her close all night and tell her that i adore her#i should probably go to bed now lmao#another week of wondering if it's even worth it but hey! we persist! it's my birthday soon too!#... honestly I'm not excited (i feel kinda neutral) but come on! i try to see the silver lining in things! shitty week but at least I'll#have an excuse to eat cake!#... ive mentioned c.yberpunk p.hantom l.iberty so often around my sister in hopes she'll get it for me- i feel bad and honestly i dont even#need a gift but i cant deny that I've had this whole in my heart after i finished c.yberpunk sjshajdjw i need another fucking game to play#nothing is scratching that itch!!! and i tend to be picky about my games too#i mean if you have any recs for ps5 games feel free to lay them on me but like. still
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boy-armageddon · 11 months ago
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tbb are soooo good when you dont have a little fucked up voice in your ear being all “they’re weird their lyrics are weird their vocals are weird they’re abrasive why do you like this”
#i went through a hater phase with them and I used to be soooo mean to them#i can’t believe it. i can’t believe it at all#i was actually insane about them before. i still am now but hey#it’s restricted to my own little discord channel in a friend’s server#so people aren’t forced to hear me randomly blurt shit out about the#*them#i feel really bad about the hater thing btw. and the obsession but moreso the former#i find myself listening to them and thinking ‘I’m so sorry girl I was awful to you!#it is a band! they do not have feelings!#ive been trying to let myself enjoy their stuff more lately without adding a bajillion caveats about it#‘they’re problematic ‘ SHUT UP! even if they were (reallt not except for like. 2 things which can be explained as ‘it was the 2000s#they were shitty for that but i dont expect a 2000s bands that yknow. while it is progressive. its still a 2000s -core band’)#as I was saying. even if they were. they broke up. they aren’t earning money from my bajillion listens to them#so i really do not feel bad over it#anyways#these tags are just me rambling about my complicated history with them#i adore them i really do now#also barely related. can you believe I used to be all ‘erm no12 looks like you is the better tbb!!!’#i was… so utterly wrong. i was so so utterly wrong#great band obvs. adore mongrel adore nuclear sad nuclear enjoy all of their semi recent releases#its in my blog header for petes sakes#but other than the ‘sass adjacent 2 vocalists’ thing. sooo incomparable#what was wrong wit me from a ye#ar or two ago#anyways. i think im done#thankfully. sorry if anyone reads these tags#evil neighing compilation
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nimomo-mo · 11 months ago
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vent
#i was hungry today so i think my appetite is coming back despite the pills#and im not sure if thats a good thing#i still cant focus so i mean. lol. lmao even#at least i cant make myself start tasks and my executive dysfunction is as bad as ever#now i have the issue of if i keep getting hungry like before im gonna gain weight again and i dont wanna#look theres nothing wrong with being fat or chubby and god knows im not aiming to be a stick figure but oh my god i dont want to gain weigh#i should work out and get fit like a normal human and that means i should eat right. but i still have that nagging feeling#i love myself. i do. i have the dissociation thing where i cant recognize myself in the mirror tho. and its not good this time.#usually i dont really mind since its like. you know like its not me anyway so what does it matter if that girl is fat or not#but im really self conscious and feel gross and i dont know why it all started back up again#i want to measure it. want to weigh myself. want to count calories and check with measuring tape#but i really shouldnt and i know that if i do i will trigger such a bad episode i might end up in the fucking hospital#i need to hold out until this episode goes away. i need to stand it all until i get my head back together.#i dont wanna get malnutrition or lose weight so fast my skin gets flappy#but every little thing i eat ends up nagging at the back of my head about how if i eat more ill get fat and noone will like me then#its not true. i know its not true. and i know fat people are gorgeous and i am already chubby so what does it matter#but i feel horrible. i dont want to look like this or feel like this or be like this#i want to be the best i can be. i want to reach my full potential. but its not exactly working. i swear to god i wanna love myself#i want to be loved. i want to be adored. i want to be the one someone picks even if the room is full of gorgeous and competent women#i want to be the first choice and for the person to see me as the most beautiful person in the world#to be the first choice and to be everything someone wants and needs. to be the ideal. to be the perfect one even with my flaws#i want someone to look at all the ugly sides of me and look at my fat and my emotional fuckery and my ugly crying and still love me#i want someone to love me so wholeheartedly i wont ever feel like theyd like someone else. that theyd pick someone else. that im not no.1#i want to be that person you do a double take of. to be the one that people get jealous of. to be the spotlight. to be the prettiest one.#its egoistical and selfish and childish and mean and dumb and naive and self absorbed i know. i know that it is#but its still there and its embarrassing . but im not gonna pretend like i dont have these thoughts and feelings.#im not smart or pretty enough to stand out. i dont know what could make me special. i dont know what i do that makes me unique.#what am i? who am i? how do i get better? i want to be better. i want to be better i want to be better i want to be better#i want to reach a new level i want to reach their level i want to be at the top i want to be special i want to be better i want to be proud#i want to be genuinely proud and special and outstanding enough to not feel insecure or inferior anymore
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alexiroflife · 3 months ago
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jjk men calling you annoying...
"hi! ik u have a few reqs to do and ur going on vacation but i was reading some of ur works and saw u did a headcannon for calling jjk men annoying. i was thinking what if u did the opposite w the jjk men calling reader annoying? if u dont decide to do this thats okay! cant wait to eat up your other upcoming fics <3" -anon
some angst, jjk men being assholes (except for nanami)
satoru, suguru, kento, choso, toji, sukuna
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satoru gojo:
normally, satoru is the one that is considered to be annoying. every higher up, coworker, and student of his alike would agree that satoru’s personality is pestering on its own, for his behavior doesn’t align with the severity of the jujutsu world in the eyes of others.
satoru has never cared how others judged him, for he often takes to picking on others for the sake of getting a reaction. he enjoys lightening the mood of drab situations, therefore he’s tossing around inappropriate jokes during meetings, teasing utahime for the umpteenth time, or trying to force megumi into spending quality time with him while the sixteen year old does his best to pretend he doesn’t know him in public.
and with you, he’s far worse. satoru can not bear being away from you or your attention being focused into anything other than him for longer than two minutes, and he’s always making an excuse to abandon whatever he’s doing to be by your side. satoru is the very definition of clingy, and while everyone finds it annoying, you can not deny that you adore how the strongest glues himself to you as though he can not bear for the two of you to be parted.
those around him believe it’s impossible for someone as annoying as gojo to actually be annoyed by anything, but you know what pisses him off. you know that he can not stand the jujutsu higher ups and how they antagonize children who were given no choice but to live the lives they lead. he can not stand the way they order him around to carry out unfavorable tasks with no regard for his past experiences or the experiences of the students that he is meant to monitor. he can not stand the lectures, the judgmental tones, the expectation of respect when it is not given in return.
and he can not stand when he is forced to attend hearings or meetings with them, where he has to listen to them drone on and on about how irresponsible he is when satoru is the only one truly looking out for the good of all groups. they demand so much of him, yet treat him like trash in return. nothing peeves him off more.
he knows that you understand this about him as a jujutsu sorcerer yourself, but you have the tendency to be more tolerant of injustices than he is. what he means is that you know how to save face for the sake of your own sanity and pay the elders no mind whilst simultaneously making them think that you are in cooperation with them. you know how to feign manners and respect, which satoru does not bother to do.
consequently, when you tell him that the upcoming meeting that he has scheduled with the higher ups is one he should attend instead of skipping due to its level of importance, he can’t help but be irritated with you.
“i’m just saying, satoru,” you say into the speaker with your phone pressed to your ear. the blue eyed man is on his way to said meeting after you practically forced him to attend, and he’s not at all happy about it. “once you’re in there, you’ll be out in no time.”
“(y/n), somehow those pricks make a half an hour feel like two,” your boyfriend complained into the phone. you place your hand on your hip and look up to the ceiling.
“you’re being so pessimistic about it,” you sigh. “it’s gonna be worse the worse you talk about it.”
“no, it’s gonna be bad regardless because these higher ups don’t know up from down or left from right.”
you can tell he’s growing aggravated, which was the opposite effect you wanted this call to have. you lower your head and attempt to shift, to reassure him in a different way.
“it’s gonna be okay, toru,” you tell him. “you’re above these people anyway, no matter what the hierarchy at this school is-“
“if you really thought that, you wouldn’t have made me go.”
you frown. “you didn’t really have a choice with this one, you know that right? whether you like the assholes or not, the meeting itself is important. you need to be there.”
“i really wish you’d stop saying that,” he exhales, agitatedly.
“stop saying what?” you scrunch your face, hand falling from your hip. “that it’s your responsibility?”
“yeah, actually,” he snaps. “hell, you’re starting to sound just like everyone else.”
“what’s that supposed to mean?” you scoff. “satoru, i’m just trying to help you. sometimes you just have to suck it up and deal.”
“suck it up?” he repeats incredulously. “i suck it up every day of my life. everyone wants me to do something for them, but expects me not to have my own opinions in return and that shit doesn’t make any sense.”
“that’s not what i’m trying to say-“
“then what are you trying to say? to just go along with all the messed up shit the higher ups want me to do?”
“no.”
“then what?”
“to just attend a meeting for the sake of your job, satoru. my god, that’s all.”
he tchs, and you can imagine him rolling his eyes on the other line. “fine. whatever.”
“what’s with your attitude? i’m genuinely just trying to look out for you, like…?”
“you’re not helping, (y/n). you’re being annoying.”
his words sting, and you stand still in the hall to your classroom as you register satoru’s tone and accusation. there’s silence, and satoru knows that when you say nothing more, he’s crossed a line.
even so, he’s too heated currently to own up to it in this moment, so he lets the silence swallow you both as he walks.
“okay,” you mumble apathetically after a while. “bye, satoru.”
you hear him prepare to say something, but your thumb is already hiding the end call button.
throughout the next half and hour, you try your best to focus on teaching your lesson to the second years, but you find yourself struggling.
you understand satoru’s frustrations with the higher ups, but to take that frustration out on you is completely uncalled for.
and to call you annoying? for ensuring that he doesn’t further endanger his already shaky position with the the authorities over him? how ungrateful is that! how could he label you as a disturbance to him when all you’ve ever done was try to lighten his load?
you don’t understand it. and it hurts to know that one little thing in comparison to the plethora of clingy annoyances that satoru has the habit of displaying that you don’t even find aggravating is enough to send him over the edge.
you’re aggressively erasing your chalkboard at the end of your lesson when you hear the sound of air flushing and papers fluttering behind you. immediately, you feel satoru’s presence much to your displeasure.
“baby?” he calls you tentatively, though you already know full well that he is there in your vacant room. you don’t reply, continuing to swipe your eraser over the chalk. “baby, please don’t ignore me,” he sighs guiltily. “can i… can we just talk?”
“get out, satoru.”
you can physically feel Satoru’s mannerisms droop behind you, but you do not fall for it. he deserves your standoffishness, your unwillingness to engage.
“i just wanna talk, (y/n)… just five minutes?”
you clench your jaw, brows angling tensely as his earlier words run through your mind again and again. your pace picks up and your movements grow harsher.
before you know it, you feel the white haired man brushing behind you inches away, reaching a hand to your shoulder. “(y/n)?”
“stop!” you rip away, stepping back. satoru retracts his hand quickly, crystal eyes blown wide as he watches you. you slam your eraser down onto the ledge and hold your hands up. “just stop! you don’t get to be rude to me and then just come back around as if everything’s okay. what if I don’t want to talk to you?”
having removed his blindfold before coming here, you can see the pain and remorse circling in his gaze. “pretty, i didn’t mean to say what i said,” he starts again slowly. “i-i’m sorry, i was just overstimulated and angry- not even at you, and you were telling me to do something I didn’t want to do but had to do, then i…” he huffs. “i’m so sorry.”
you fold your arms and stare harshly at the board, brows twitching as satoru’s smooth, genuine apology flows through your ears.
when you still don’t say anything, satoru’s mouth tugs downward and his lashes fluttere prettily over his cheek. “it’s okay if you don’t wanna talk to me or see me right now. i was being shitty, and i didn’t mean it, baby. i just had to come and tell you that as soon as the meeting was over… and you were right. i needed to be there.”
you close your eyes. “why don’t you ever listen to me?”
satoru practically jumps when he hears you speak. “what did you say?”
“you never listen to me, toru,” you look at him desperately. “you always do what you want to do, and when i have to make you do something, you pout. is what i say really that unimportant to you?”
“no,” he rushes out, swooping in to stand before you so he can meet your eyes up close. “no, no, no. no, that’s not it.”
“then what is it?”
“i listen to you, baby. i do, i just struggle when you give me suggestions about work because we have completely different approaches. you play by the rules more and i do what i think is best even if it’s not what I’m told is best. which is okay. i’m not saying that either way is better than the other, it’s just that difference between us clashes sometimes.”
you hum.
“but that doesn’t mean i don’t listen, or don’t respect you, (y/n). i respect you more than anyone i know.”
“then you should act like it.”
“i know,” he pushed out his bottom lip, taking your forearms in his hands. “i know, i can be all over the place sometimes. i’m sorry pretty girl.”
you wish you could stay angry, but satoru’s touch almost instantly melts away the tension in your body. almost.
“please don’t call me annoying like that again,” you look over him. “seriously, that wasn’t nice.”
“never,” he swears. “i promise, never again. i don’t even know why it came out in the first time. please forgive me, baby, I’m sorry.”
you exhale, and before you can respond, satoru is ducking down and suffocating your face with a plethora of kisses from your forehead to cheeks and down to your jaw. murmurs of apologizes slip through as he attacks you, and you squeal as you try turn away.
“okay!” you shout, pushing at his chest. “i forgive you, get off!”
“i love youuu,” he lands a particularly long kiss to your nose. “so much. let me take you out tonight to apologize properly, pretty. will you let me?”
you stifle a smile, keeping your hands to your chest as you glare up at him when he pulls away with a grin. “fine.”
suguru geto:
suguru loves you dearly, truly he does, but he notices that the longer he is in a relationship with you, the more entitled you become. granted, he spoils the hell out of you because you’re his one and only, therefore he only feels it is appropriate to shower you with the unconditional love that he has for you.
you know that suguru rarely ever says no to you. hell, he doesn’t want to deny you of the things you ask of him because he should be the person that you always come to for anything. along with his girls, you’ve stolen his heart, and his love language is taking care of you - making you rotten.
so when suguru can not abide by what you demand, you pout and poke and prod and pester. in some ways, you remind him of how satoru used to behave in his company, so commanding of what you want from him in the most combative, brattiest way that it has him rubbing the space between his forehead with angled brows.
and the attitude on you is criminal. suguru knows he can not necessarily talk because his attitude is just as bad, but the moment suguru disagrees with you about something, you make it a point keep pressing the matter sassily.
there are a million things that suguru finds to be more of a pain to his peace than you, but he can not deny that when you get on his nerves, you truly tick him off.
suguru is known to have very little patience in general. he chalks it up to his occupation, having to deal with idiotic human beings all day to the point where it wears down his capacity for bullshit. he needs things to resolve themselves at his pace in order to feel as though he can go about his day, but when they don’t, it frustrates him to no end.
that is why when you fail to give it a rest after suguru has told you no four times now to getting lunch with you because he has business to take care of, he is beginning to lose his cool.
“(y/n),” suguru exhales your name in exasperation. he’s on his way out of the front door. “angel, you know i’m busy today. you’re usually a lot more understanding when it comes to my schedule, i don’t know where the disconnect is right now.”
you’re growing upset, for you’ve never enjoyed watching suguru leave, but for some reason you are feeling all the more sensitive to his departure today. the dark haired cult leader has been so busy lately that you and the girls have hardly been able to catch him for longer than five minutes when he’s home. you want to sit and talk with him, to at least have a quick thirty minute meal together, but he’s still refusing you, and you never fair well with being refused by geto.
“but suguru,” you curl your brows and gaze at him sadly. “I’m just asking for one day. that’s all, we don’t even need to be out long. i already have a place in mind that’s right around the corner from the group- i can even pick you up. you won’t have to worry about a thing. please, just this once?”
the hazel eyed man can not stand saying no to you, even more so when you look at him with such pleading in your eyes, but he’s told you a hundred times that he can’t do what you please today. as much as he’d love to go to lunch with you, there are no exceptions. he’s already pushing himself behind by trying to reason with you.
“the answer is no, (y/n),” he tells you with soft sternness. your frown deepens leading Suguru to walk over to you. he guides his hand to your waist and presses a kiss to your forehead in an attempt to make you feel better. “i’m sorry. i know things haven’t been the best lately with me being home, but i’m trying my best.”
you want to be more supportive, but you miss suguru. you do, and to feel like a second priority to a cult he doesn’t even like makes you upset.
you grumble incoherently under your breath and cross your arms. suguru feels your stature shift, and he pulls away to eye you. you avoid his gaze purposefully, and suguru instantly knows what’s going on with you.
“don’t start,” he advises as a warning. you don’t take well to the comment, the muscles in your face tightening as you go to ease away from suguru’s grasp. he doesn’t have time for this right now. “i mean it.”
“i’m not even doing anything,” you murmur, looking down as suguru examines you closely.
“you’re sulking.”
“okay, and maybe that’s because i don’t want my boyfriend to leave?” you snap.
“i know, (y/n). you’re acting like i want to leave too, but this is work.”
“and clearly work’s more important now,” you roll your eyes.
suguru shakes his head and pulls away with narrow eyes. “you’re being incredibly irritating right now.”
you freeze, geto’s words stabbing you through the chest like a stake to the heart. “what?” you repeat weakly, your grit having gone.
“you aren’t listening to me. it’s getting old and it’s irritating,” he says again, this time as he turns away and walks back to the door.
you stare at his back blankly. your heart hammers against your chest, and your face falls. normally when you behave a certain way that suguru doesn’t appreciate, he spends his time either circling back and trying to reach and understand or punishing you. but now, he’s just walking away with no intention of doing either. you expected more, and you hadn’t expected for him to outright call you annoying.
sure, you push a little too much sometimes, but annoying? all you want is him. is it annoying to desire such a simple thing?
“i’ll be home later, alright? we can talk about this when i get back,” he tells you, pulling the door open and allowing the sunlight to peer in. when you do not respond, he speaks again in annoyance. “alright?”
you still don’t answer, and this time he turns over his shoulder to see what is keeping you from giving him a verbal affirmation.
his face relaxes, however, when he says you standing silently with your hands at your sides. your gaze has turned to one of subtle embarrassment as you frown, mulling over suguru’s emotions in a less stubborn, more deflated manner.
despite suguru’s irritation with you, the moment he sees your discomfort, he’s flipping the switch in an instant.
slowly, he shuts the door again without a word. he figures it won’t hurt anyone to be another five minutes late, for he is the founder of the religious group after all. what he says goes, and he will not leave until this mild conflict with you is sorted out.
he walks over and takes your head in his hands, tilting your face up to reveal your big, shiny eyes. with another quiet sigh, he’s taking one hand and rubbing your shoulder as he holds your stare.
“i didn’t mean to hurt your feelings,” he tells you gently, immediately knowing what is plaguing you. “i’m just frustrated.”
“…frustrated with me?” you ask slowly.
he presses his lips together. “yeah, angel. i am a little bit,” he confesses honestly. while this isn’t the response you wanted, geto knows it’s the response you need to hear… even if you struggle to accept it, your head nodding stiffly but your eyes telling a story of humiliation. and he hates it. he hates how unhappy you look, but no good has ever come from partners lying to one another about how they feel.
“but,” you start as suguru’s swipes a thumb over your brow lovingly. “suguru, all i wanted was to have lunch with you. is that such a crazy thing? you’re hardly around anymore.”
“i know, (y/n), and no it’s not, but you’re not respecting the fact that while i want to more than anything, i can’t. not today,” he says once more. “i do this for you and the girls too, you know. it’s not just for me. any money i make is yours, and if i need to work my ass off to provide for you and our future, i will. and it’s not fair for you to throw a fit when i can’t drop all of that when you ask me to.”
it’s a hard pill for you to swallow, but you know that suguru’s point is more than valid.
you inhale and exhale deeply, his touch swarming you tenderly despite how he feels. “I’m sorry,” you apologize. “im sorry for pushing. i just want you here. it gets hard sometimes, you know?”
“I know.”
he pulls your face in to kiss your cheek softly, your hand going to cradle his wrists.
“and i’m sorry if you’ve felt neglected in any way, and for calling you irritating. there was probably a better way for me to say that.”
“it’s okay,” you mumble as pulls away. “i probably was being annoying anyway...”
geto smiles softly. “you were,” he chuckles, and you gap at him.
“suguru,” you frown and he laughs again.
“sorry.” the hazel eyed man leans in to capture your lips in a soft kiss before you can pour any longer, eyes gleaming kindly when he draws back. he at least does not look aggravated any longer, his features much calmer than before. “how about a day out this weekend? you, me, and the girls.”
your eyes light up. “really? you’re sure?”
“yeah, angel,” he nods. “i miss you all too, you know. you’re all i think about when I’m dealing with those monkeys all day.”
“…can we maybe go to the farmer’s market?” you suggest. “i wanna get some stuff to make a big dinner for us, and the girls want to get some flowers.”
“absolutely we can. sounds great.”
“thank you,” you smile, wrapping your arms over his neck and tugging him down into a tight hug. suguru laughs gently, sliding his arms around you. “i hope you have a good day today. i won’t pester you about work anymore.”
“okay, baby,” he rubs your back. “I gotta go now, okay? i’ll try not to be out late. i love you.”
“i love you too.”
kento nanami:
despite kento’s remarkable talent in serving you as your partner, he is still a human being subject to human emotions. when he’s annoyed with you, he doesn’t make it your problem. he simply makes it known that he is beginning to be plagued by the feeling, and though it hurts your feelings, you understand and give him the space he needs.
kento does not get irritated with you often at all. you are a gift upon his stressful life, and it’s difficult for you to pose as a source of stress when the rest of his life is already so anxiety-inducing. you’re his everything, and even when he does get ever so slightly annoyed with you, it’s never at the same level as other factors - like gojo. you don’t even begin to compare.
the only time nanami finds himself growing upset because of you is when you choose not to listen to or communicate with him.
nanami works hard to put your needs before his own and he is more than happy to do so. he feels it is the only way things should be, for as long as you are happy and well cared for, he is content.
however, there are moments when he does so that can come off to you as a tad overbearing. he cares for your physical and mental wellbeing, so that also comes with constant check ins about whether you’re eating properly or how much sleep you’re getting. it’s sweet, his persistent doting, but you don’t always fair well with how often he’s interrogating you about your lifestyle when he literally witnesses every second of what you do as your fiancé.
and of course, when you react poorly by getting even the slightest hint of an attitude or portray your own annoyance in a poor manner, nanami, who always tries his best to find a solution to problems if you are bothered by something, is bothered himself when you do not cooperate.
nanami is incredibly patient with you, and he tries his best to practice patient with you when he internally feels you are being unreasonable.
so he resorts to silence as he ponders what to do next. you’re both sitting at the kitchen table as tension swirls about. your knee is frantically bouncing as you glare ahead. you don’t like when kento does something to bother you, for everything he does is so perfect you feel like you don’t have a right to be bothered, and you rarely ever are. and you may try to hide when you’re upset, but nanami sees you so clearly. he knows you like the back of his hand, therefore, there is no hiding.
and of course, nanami would never grow annoyed with what you feel… it’s how you communicate with him when you feel a certain way. you shut down and make it impossible for him to talk through it, and as someone who likes to work through things while they are occurring, it’s a bit of a pain when you go quiet and refuse to give him anything.
now, you both sit rather annoyed with one another, for that is likely the only instance nanami will feel some sort of irritation sparked by you. the blonde taps his finger against the table with his legs crossed, unsure of how to move forward. he’s tried calling your name, tried asking you what’s wrong, tried suggesting anything he can do to fix it, but you, afraid to even further speak truth into your emotions, reply with shrugs and mute shakes of your head.
it takes at least another few minutes for nanami to rise slowly, fixing the collar of his shirt and clearing his throat you look up and see by his rigid posture that he is not in the happiest of spirits, and when you finally notice, you realize that he had been silent along with you for quite some time now, his series of questions having ceased.
“i am going for a drive,” he announces formally. you blink up at him, your knee still bouncing. his chocolate eyes meet yours with a hefty sigh. “i won’t be longer than forty minutes.”
forty?!
“…okay,” is the very first word you have said in a while, and nanami nods curtly. though he appears indifferent, his shoulders are tense, his jaw is taut, and a dent creases the space between his brows. you can tell by these signs that he has grown to match your previous feelings. “where are you going?”
“to clear my head. i don’t believe anything productive will come from the both of us sitting here like this.”
you furrow your brows. “are you angry with me now?”
“no,” he gathers his keys. “i am not angry. only, admittedly, a bit perturbed,” he says without looking at you.
you know that nanami had annoyed you first, but to hear him tell you so is humbling nonetheless. what reason does he have to be annoyed? what did you do?
“um,” you stumble. “why…?”
the prospect of you now trying to interrogate him after he had spent so much time trying to get through to you, or at least a word out, does very little to ease the man.
he lifts a hand, guiding his palm out to ease the conversation before it can escalate. “(y/n), i’m not in any state to talk about this right now. give me a bit and i will be back.”
his eyes find yours to ensure that you see that earnest in his brow hues, and your shoulders slump, your knee stilling completely.
“is that alright?”
you nod slowly. “yes. that's alright.”
kento nods again, swiping up his jacket from the back of his chair before stepping out of the door, clicking it shut behind him.
you reel in his absence, sitting in the aftermath. maybe you reacted poorly… but you couldn’t help it. you don’t always enjoy being overwhelmed with a series of questions from your boyfriend as though he is your doctor or father. sometimes you just wish to be.
you know he only does so out of concern. you know he loves you, better than anyone has ever loved you, but your reaction had been involuntary.
the look on nanami’s face only proved that you should have handled the situation differently. you hate when he’s upset, but that way of thinking alone is unfair. he likely hates when you’re upset too, and you shut down when he was trying to help.
as guilt swarms you, you retreat to the living room where you mindlessly flip through the tv channels, your focus elsewhere.
kento ends up returning hardly twenty minutes later. you look in surprise to the door as he enters with takeout in his hands. he looks up, his face a bit more relaxed as he enters.
neither of you speak as he kicks his shoes off at the door and makes his way toward you. he sets the bags of food down on the coffee table before you and slowly sits down next to you, hands to his thighs.
“i got us dinner,” he says as you shuffle to make room for him. the aroma of your favorite thai food fills your senses and makes you become rather aware to your hunger, for you haven’t eaten in a while.
kento sits with his forearm resting on his knee, his body facing you. you look away, embarrassed to even speak to him, though you do whisper a ‘thank you’ that is only audible to nanami because he is seated right beside you.
he reaches a hand out to hold yours, his other sliding over top to caress the back of it. “honey,” he starts softly. “I don’t want this to go on longer than it should.”
“you’re back earlier than you said,” you mention, looking down at his hands over yours.
“i didn’t need to be gone long to want to sit down with you about this again.” you nod. “are you okay?” he asks you, and you nod again.
“yeah, are you?”
“i’m better,” he answers. “my intention was not to leave on a bad note so abruptly. i just needed a moment to myself.”
“no, i understand, ken. i don’t blame you for taking a step back.”
“are you okay with me telling you why i was upset?”
“of course i am.”
he gives a gentle smile before proceeding. “it seems that every time i try to work through something with you, you do not wish to cooperate. if you were to tell me that you need space before explaining, i would understand better and give you time, but you say nothing. you barely even look at me, and i try my best to give you the patience you deserve but you do not do the same for me.”
“it’s not that- I wasn’t trying to be impatient with you, it’s just that sometimes i don’t want to talk about things.”
“then I would prefer it if you’d say that instead of shutting me out, because then i’m left to pick up the pieces with nothing to go off of,” he pleads. “and it’s unhealthy for you to harbor everything that bothers you inside. you could get sick doing that, and it hinders our communication.”
you can tell he is about to give you another lecture, which is what led you here in the first place. you take in a deep breath and try to regulate yourself, glancing down. “yeah, i hear you,” you mutter. “i just get… i don’t know, it feels weird to tell you when something you’ve done bothers me.”
“why, sweetheart?”
“because you’re so good to me,” you frown. “you don’t deserve to hear that i’m upset with you for probably no reason.”
“look at me, honey.” you oblige, locking eyes with his once again shyly. “as good as i am to you and you are to me, getting angry or upset or irritated with one another is normal. it’s healthy. no relationship is free of trials, and if this is our worst problem, i’d confidently say that we are doing quite well.”
you listen to him carefully, taking in his words as you look over his face.
“now, will you tell me what it was i did to upset you earlier?”
“it’s so stupid, ken.”
“your feelings are not stupid. please. i need to know so i don’t repeat my mistakes.”
you huff and eventually give in. “well, sometimes... you do this thing… where you lecture me… and i appreciate you looking out for me all the time, but sometimes when you ask me a hundred things at once about stuff that I’m more than aware of as an adult, it makes me feel like you’re patronizing me.”
a stern look of realization crosses the blonde’s features. “i had no idea.”
“i mean… i never told you, so i was getting upset with you for something you weren’t even aware of,” you exhale. “i’m really sorry, kento. I struggle with communicating certain things, and i shouldn’t have allowed myself to get so irritated in the first place.”
“there’s no need for you to apologize,” he dismisses. “i apologize for making you feel as though I’ve been speaking down to you. i only check in so often because i care.”
“i know,” you lean in. “and there’s nothing wrong with that.”
“but i can see how it may be a bit overbearing,” he admits. “i’ll try to mind myself in the future.”
“oh, it’s okay, ken,” you lift your hand to his cheek, smoothing a thumb over his cheekbone. “you’re perfect, baby. i’m sorry if i made you feel otherwise.”
“i am far from perfection, my love,” he kisses your inner palm. “i make plenty of mistakes.”
“so do i, clearly,” you chuckle.
he smiles again, and this time it reaches his warm eyes. “yes, but the way i see it, you would not be perfect without them.”
choso kamo:
choso, bless his heart, has never found anything you do to be even remotely close to what he could find annoying. everything you do in his eyes is perfect, flawless, and he clings to you so much that he finds it impossible to think of your actions or words as something that poses as an aggravation to him.
what he finds irritating is when yuji will borrow his shirts without asking and fail to return them for days, or when he’s been assigned on a mission and it lasts far longer than he intended to be there, the task cutting into time he could be spending with you, or even when other people serve as a nuisance to you. you have never, ever been on the list of things that get on his nerves, and he doesn’t think you ever will be.
that’s why he feels such guilt when he starts to feel that familiar sense of annoyance bubbling in his chest when you keep asking him to let you know about his plans for the weekend.
you’ve asked him numerous times at this point, and he has given you the same answer: he doesn’t know exactly what he’s doing with his brother or when he’ll be home, and that he’d let you know as soon as he figures it out. but you know that by the time he ‘figures it out’ it will be past the time you need to plan around his absence.
you’re an organized person, and you like to know in advance what is happening in your boyfriend’s life so that you can either prepare to spend some time with him or not waste the effort looking forward to doing so if he will be out late. this is especially a big deal to you because choso tends to get carried away when spending time with his little brother. the brunette loves his family so dearly, and you have always admired how fiercely he cares for those close to him, but his tendency to just go along with whatever yuji’s hyper mind thinks of on the spot without having the sense to think of how it will impact his brother’s girlfriend yet always gets to you.
you want choso to spend time with his brother, you do, but you just wish that he would have the decency of letting you in on what he plans to do on the days they are together more often.
therefore, it is friday and you continue to ask him to let you know what the plans are, and choso, still not completely understanding of what you want, is growing tired of the nagging.
“i already told you, love,” he reasons as best as he can with you, his voice dipping lower. “i don’t know how long we’ll be out. i promise you i’ll let you know.”
you’re moving about the kitchen while choso stands at the corner, eyes heavy as he watches you. he’s trying his hardest to mask his growing agitation, for he knows that you are very keen on picking up on his tells that reveal his emotions. when he’s aggravated, his brows angle ever so slightly and his lids weigh over bored vision, his lips curled in a frown.
you haven’t looked at him yet. your back is to him as your rummage through your fridge. “yeah, cho, you said that already, and you say that every time you go out,” you close the fridge door, carton of eggs in your hand for you to prepare lunch.
“and i always come back,” he says, shrugging slightly. “I don’t understand what the problem is… i’d never stay out all night without coming back.”
“it’s not about you coming back or not, it’s about when you come back,” you try to explain, placing the eggs on the counter to turn and reaching to grab a bowl. “i’ve definitely talked about this before, right? sometimes i stay up for you or want to hang out with you when you get back, but you never give me an estimated time when you’re with your brother so i can plan around it.”
choso exhales through his nose slowly, looking down. “the point is that if i knew, i’d tell you…”
you look up, catching the dipped pitch in his tone, and tilt your head to the side upon taking in his stature. he’s pouting.
you stop what your doing, pressing your hands to the ledge of the other side of the counter and leaning over with a suspicious look.
“are you alright?” you ask slowly.
choso meets your eye, a hint of a deer in in headlights look capturing him. “yes,” he says stiffly, quickly, and you are not convinced whatsoever.
“you sure? because your face says otherwise,” you nod toward him.
conflict is pretty foreign to the two of you within your relationship. neither of you ever want to upset the other, so in tiptoeing around certain issues, a lot of them are either brushed over and pent up. choso specifically things it’s damn near a sin to be upset with you, and you him, for he still does not understand certain inner workings of human connections.
he does not want to ruin what he has with you, and he does not comprehend why he is growing annoyed with someone he cherishes so much. he still loves you, but he can’t help this feeling. it burdens him with guilt, and he does not know how to respond once you catch him.
“is something bothering you?” you ask carefully. “are you upset because i keep asking about this weekend?”
choso doesn’t respond. he feels like it’s a trap, for he would never lie to you but to admit that he’s annoyed is an entirely different ball park that he is horrified to step into. he looks at you shamefully, face still tense but he’s trying hard to relax, to mask the way he truly feels.
you raise a brow. “…choso?”
“i’m fine,” he tells you. once again, he’s answering far too quickly.
“okay,” you exhale, shifting on your feet. choso watches you anxiously, keeping incredibly still as though moving will make the earth shatter. “I know you really well, cho. clearly the conversation is bothering you.” after another moment of silence from your boyfriend, you continue. “you can be honest with me, or else you’ll just be carrying this around with you all day.”
“…i don’t wanna upset you,” he eventually murmurs.
“I understand, but that’s not realistic,” you say with subtle sternness in your tone. “just like it’s not realistic to pretend like you aren’t upset right now when i can clearly tell you are. we both have rights to feeling whatever we feel, so just… come on, tell me what’s going on.”
with a pensive expression, choso slowly allows himself to give in. “it’s just that…” he begins hesitantly. “i’m not really sure what you want me to tell you anymore. about my plans.”
“i'm not asking anything out of the question, i just want you to plan more for my sake.”
“but i keep repeating myself when i tell you that yuji and i don’t plan… it’s a little…”
“it’s a little what?”
“just… kind of… annoying.”
you reel, staring at choso incredulously. you never thought you would have seen the day where your sweet significant other, horrified of touching you the wrong way, would call you annoying. admittedly, you’re a little wounded. you haven’t done anything wrong, and yet choso is aggravated by your desire to simply know what time he’s coming home. you’re not asking for too much. you hardly believe you’re asking for anything at all. you know that choso can be irrational, but never with you. never like this.
you nod to yourself slowly, pursing your lips. choso eyes you carefully, uncertain of how his own words have landed. you wanted him to be honest, and this is how he’s feeling. should he have just lied? should he have kept it to himself anyway?
suddenly, you resume what you are doing and turn away from choso wordlessly. the violet eyed man’s eyes widen as you go searching for a pan, and air of intensity about you.
“(y/n)?” he says your name cautiously after a while of you shuffling about. “you okay?”
“it’s cool,” you respond shortly, and choso shrinks.
he moves to round the counter to approach you slowly, but you do not slow yourself when you notice him moving into the kitchen beside you. “i don’t think it is…”
“choso, i know how you feel now and that’s that. i’ll leave it be.”
you sound mad. choso doesn’t like it at all, and he’s unsure of how to even speak to you this way. he doesn’t want to further ruin your mood, but he has to make sure you’re alright… that he didn’t cross some sort of line.
“i’m sorry,” he hastily apologizes. “I wasn’t trying to make things worse.”
“don’t apologize for what you feel,” you strictly say, moving to the other side of the kitchen the second choso gets close to you.
he stops, his traces of annoyance having completely washed away. “but you’re mad now.”
“i’m not mad, i just- i’m a little annoyed too now.”
he deflates. “oh,” he mumbles, hands falling to his sides. “then, what do what do now?”
you exhale, taking a moment to pause and turn to face choso from the other side of the space. “i wanna talk about why i’m irritated.”
“okay… and that won’t make it worse?”
“no, because i’ll at least be getting my point across.”
he nods dejectedly. “alright. why are you upset?”
“because you won’t take a second to put yourself in my shoes and understand that planning for my sake now that we live together will help ease my anxiety,” you explain, your hand moving about as you emphasize your stance. “i don’t care how long you and yuji are out. that’s not the point, and i know you don’t plan, but I’m asking you to at least start to, because i get tired of falling asleep waiting for you because i don’t know when you’re coming home. if i knew in advance, i wouldn’t have to stay up or get my hopes up about you coming back at a certain time. and then you tell me that i’m annoying you because i just want to be informed. like, that’s a little rude, choso. it’s basically like you saying you don’t care what i ask for.”
“i do care,” he cuts in passionately, brows knitted with a look of guilted sadness. “i’m sorry. i didn’t know it was like that for you.”
“because you never bothered to ask.”
“i’m sorry,” he says again. “i shouldn’t have called you annoying. that was mean. you just… told me to be honest, so i said what i was thinking.”
“that’s another thing, choso, we’re not perfect. we’re people and we react to things differently. this isn’t the last time we’ll be annoyed with each other.”
“i don’t like that,” he grumbles.
“we don’t have to like it, but that’s just how things are. it doesn’t mean we love each other any less, and we’re not always going to agree on why we’re annoyed with one another.”
“…are we fighting?”
you scoff a slight, tired laugh and shake your head. “no, we’re not fighting. we’re just talking.”
“okay,” he nods. “well, i’m sorry. i am. i’ll try to do better about planning for you. and you’re not annoying, (y/n). i love you.”
you soften. “i love you too, cho, just please be more mindful of how you react sometimes.”
“i will,” he mumbles. “…can i… i mean, is it wrong to ask you for a hug or do you need some time?”
“come over here,” you beckon him over. the brunette is quick to comply, stepping heavily over to you and burying his face in your neck. you wrap your arms around his frame as he holds you, murmuring numerous apologies to you over and over in your ear.
“maybe i’ll just stay home,” he suggests, mumbling into your skin.
“you don’t need to do that, cho, that’s not what i was asking of you.”
“i know, but i’d rather stay in with you anyway. or maybe we can make it a group thing if you want to come with.”
“i’ll see how i feel this weekend, but that’s sounds great, baby. thank you.”
toji fushiguro:
toji has a habit of getting caught up in his stress accumulated from the day. he’ll return home grumpily, muscles twitching and lips tight in a scowl. his back aches and his head hurts, and all he wants to do is crawl up into bed with you and snooze for the rest of the night.
of course, this isn’t always plausible. life presents its daily interferences that throw off his plans of laziness with the woman he loves, and sometimes, the woman he loves herself is the very thing standing in the way of his tranquility.
you don’t do so on purpose. while toji leads his life of chaos and crime, you busy yourself with your own less illegal tasks, and those tasks and your desires by the end of the day don’t always match his. and toji, despite how wholly he loves you, has the unintentional tendency to be selfish, for it’s how he’s lived his whole life before meeting you.
and that tendency especially shines through when his mind is clouded by exhaustion. if he wants you to lay still with him for the rest of the night, why can’t he? why the hell do you have to run out to the store instead? or finish up an assignment that takes an extra hour and a half to complete? or try to talk to him about your day when he just wants peace and quiet in your wordless physical presence?
it ticks him off, and he’s already moody enough before he comes home to realize that he is not going to get what his mind and heart have been set on for hours. he tries his best not to take things out on you when he is in a healthy, normal conscious state, but he can not help it at the worst of times. before he knows it, he’s snapping at you all because you wanted to show him an album of pictures you came across during your visit to your parents today.
“oh!” you gasp excitedly, leaning into toji’s shoulder as you lounge with him on the bed, your phone presenting itself to his face. you’re propped up with your back to the headboard while toji is laid flat against the pillow with a sour expression. “and this one is from halloween when i was eleven! holy shit, look at my braces! damn, they really threw off the whole costume. i still look cute though, don't i?"
toji doesn't know how you haven't noticed his lack of response as you swipe through photo after photo, your voice a blabber of nonsense in his ear as he closes his eyes in vexation. he can feel himself nearing his last straw as you shift your entire conversation enthusiastically, diving into some story about your family that is hardly related to the pictures you have been sharing.
the dark-haired man is so tired, so fed up with noise and the questions you ask him that you do not even wait for him to respond to before you're cutting in and rambling on again - not that toji even would have responded.
he just wants to sleep... you're still going on, and he wants to sleep.
"and then there was the time that i-"
you're interrupted by a loud groan and the run of toji's large hands down his face. you falter, lowering your phone and furrowing your brows at him slightly, your smile dwindling upon finally taking note of toji's body language.
silence stills the room while toji keeps his hands concealing his face and you simply watch him, stunned.
"uh..." you start pensively, confused. "...why did you just-"
"for the love of christ, girl, can you be quiet for one second?" he interjects once more with the tear of his hands away from his face and the strike of his weary, tense eyes into yours.
you jump. "what?" is all you can ask, awed by the way your boyfriend just spoke to you.
"i had a long day, (y/n). the fuck don't you understand about that?"
your face is scrunching in offense now, your body retracting and your energy transitioning into dejected anger. "toji, why the hell are you talking to me like that?"
"cause you've been workin' my last nerve since i got home," he grits out, tense hands swiping the air. you stare at him with wide eyes. "i'm fuckin' tired. i don't wanna come home to you talkin' my ear off about shit i don't care about. just let me sleep, alright?"
you clamp your mouth shut, a lump forming in your throat and a pit swirling in your chest as you take in toji's hurtful words. his face is hard as he awaits a response from you, and you can do nothing but look at him pathetically, completely torn apart by how swiftly he had made you feel as though you are a burden to him.
you had not meant to interfere with his rest time. you thought he was resting by sitting cozily in bed with you. you thought that he would enjoy seeing pictures of you from the past, hearing about old memories that you revive for the sake of his enjoyment. hell, you would have enjoyed it if the roles were reversed and toji was sharing his childhood memories with you after a long day (if of course, his childhood had been a bit more positive).
you understand that you may have misread the situation, but there was no need for toji to be so cruel to you about it. you hate when he gets like this, so rigid and ruthless with his tone and his words that it makes you feel as though he wants nothing to do with you.
you fight the urge to cry, your body tensing as you swallow hard. you tear your eyes from toji's face, the vision alone scarring you as his words seep in. the green-eyed man watches you shut off your phone swiftly and tuck it carelessly into your pocket with a scoff.
he quirks his brow in befuddlement now as you push yourself off the mattress and cooly whisk yourself around the furniture and to the bedroom door. he pushes himself up, for he didn't want you to leave. he just wanted silence.
"where're you goin'?" he asks as though you have no reason to storm off. you halt in the doorway, whipping your head over your shoulder to glare at him with glassy eyes.
"to give you your space," you hissed. "after all, i don't want to 'work your last nerve' any more than i already have."
toji can tell by the glossiness of your gaze and the tremble of your voice that he fucked up. he sighs heavily, swiping a hand over his hair. "i ain't mean it like that-" he tries to defend himself, but you have none of it.
"sure you did, toji. or else you wouldn't have said it," you growl. "it's fine. really. you can be an asshole all by yourself while i'm gone. maybe you'll be able to sleep now that your girlfriend is out of the way."
you leave with a slam to the door, the walls shaking in your wake, and toji stares at the wall harshly. the overwhelming silence now envelopes him, the silence that he had been longing for since you started talking, and now that he has it, it doesn't feel right.
he curses to himself, scratching the back of his head. he shouldn't have snapped at you. all you had been doing was sharing something close to your heart with him, and he completely blew you off. it wasn't as though you were the source of his stress - it was his job, yet he reacted in such a way to make it feel as though you were the problem.
fuck. toji knows he has issues with regulating his anger, but he continues to swear that he will work on leaving you out of it, and yet here he is again, mulling over the after-effects of dragging you into his acidity once more.
he's not even tired anymore. he tries to doze off, but all he can think about is your face and how he hurt you.
when he steps out of his room, he finds that you are nowhere to be found in his apartment. he tries calling you, but you don't pick up. he resorts to texting you, asking where you are. you read the messages, but refuse to answer, ensuring that he knows you're pissed off.
he shakes his head and goes to check your location instead, which he is grateful to find that you haven't shut off. he knows you too well. you want him to chase after you and apologize, to put forth the effort that you at times feel he would not extend for your sake.
toji finds you at a bar around the corner, your chin propped in your hand as you stare ahead over the counter emptily with an untouched drink before you. you're slumped in your seat with your phone tucked under your hand, appearing so sad before him, and toji feels his heart ache knowing that he's the reason you look like this.
"go away," you grumble when you see his bulky figure approaching you out of the corner of your eye, not even bothering to look his way. the fushiguro leans his forearm against the counter beside you with his other hand propped on his hip. he tilts his head down to try to catch a glimpse of your face, and you simply turn away stubbornly.
"c'mon doll," he attempts to coax. "don't be mad."
"don't fucking tell me not to be mad, you dick."
toji drops his head. bad start. "listen," he begins, unsure of how to proceed. he has never been good with finding words in these situations. "i shouldn't've said what i said."
you turn to scour at him. "no shit."
he wants to chuckle at how angry you are, for you start cursing up a storm the way toji does on a daily basis, and he finds it rather endearing how quick you are to violate him with your language when he gets on your bad side.
toji doesn't realize that the skin beneath his eyes is creasing a the corner of his lip is tugging upward, for you're gaping at him and smacking his chest rather aggressively. "you think this is funny?"
"no, (y/n), i don't think it's funny," he chuckles, and you fume. you go to slam a few bills onto the table before jumping up from your stool and storming away. toji panics, reaching out and snatching up your arm in his grasp. you're tugged back to him against your wishes, fiery (e/c) hues seething into him as though you seek to kill him with your gaze. "stop, i'm tryna talk to you for a second."
"clearly you think my feelings are a joke to you, toji."
"i don't think that, doll, you know that."
"do i?" you raise your brows. "i wasn't so sure when you talked to me like i was nothing but a nuisance to you."
you go to tug away, but toji holds you to him, looking into your eye intensely. "you ain't a nuisance."
"then why talk to me like that?" you frown. "i wasn't even doing anything to hurt you, i was just trying to share something with you."
"i know baby," he softens, hand coming to cup over your neck. you turn away, leading him to smooth his hand over the back of your head instead as you look off to the side bitterly. "it wasn't you, it was my day-"
"i don't care," you huff. "you can't blame the way you treat people on shitty days - especially the way you treat me! i'm the person in this world who loves you, toji. if you need me to reel in on something, then just say that respectfully, but don't you dare go yelling at me the way you just did. it hurts my feelings."
toji sighs, looking over your face and caressing your hair. "i know, doll, m'sorry," he mumbles. "shouldn't be taking my shit out on you. you ain't ever done a single thing bad to me."
"yeah, you prick," you bite, and toji lets himself smile. "and stop smiling," you push against his chest. "nothing's fucking funny."
"you're right. nothin's funny at all," he agrees. "m'just happy i got a girl who knows how to fight back when i'm bein' an asshole."
"oh, what the fuck ever," you roll your eyes. "you're lucky i don't chop your balls off and hang them on display in the living room."
"nah, i much prefer you gettin' mean with me." he moves to cup your neck again, and this time you allow him, a pretty pout still on your face. "i deserve it."
"you sure as hell do..."
he chuckles, smirk spreading. "c'mere, doll," he pulls you into him, securing his arms around your frame and pressing you to his chest. you ease into him reluctantly, glowering off to the side as your check squishes into his pectoral. you don't hug back, for toji's biceps crush over you and trap your arms within his embrace as he rocks you slowly. "what can i do to make up for it?"
"go jump off a bridge," you mutter, body relaxing into his warmth as his chest rumbles with laughter against you.
ryomen sukuna:
sukuna belittling you with his words has never been anything new to you. while you understand that you withhold a space of softness in his heart that is reserved for you and you only, at times his comfortability with insulting you can go a bit far.
and of course, you’re used to it. he calls you “brat” and “woman” as though you are a nuisance to him when in reality, you are the only person on this planet he has bestowed those names upon with his own definition of affection. he clicks his teeth and rolls his eyes at you when you talk about something that he wants you to believe is of little interest to him, when he is taking mental note of the things you enjoy talking about so that he can suffocate you with your desires long after you have presented a specific like to his attention. and of course, he tells you you are an aggravation to his soul every damn two seconds, as though loving you brings him stress after eons of having lived so freely and ruthlessly - though he still does, your presence does more to ease him into a state of mellowness than anything has prior to his commitment to you.
he very clearly welcomes the feeling and connection to you, but masks so by calling you annoying. all the time. so of course, when he does normally, you are completely desensitized to it.
unless you’re already irritated.
occasionally, there is only so much of sukuna you can handle. you love him to death, but the two of you butt heads so often due to your stubborn natures and unwillingness to allow the other to win that it tends to wear you down after a while. sukuna calls you disrespectful for even talking back, yet allows you to continue to do so as if he gets off on the way you get snippy with him.
it’s entertaining to the lord, after all. why would he spend his time doting on someone boring?
nevertheless, if you’ve had a long day and are in no mood to deal with sukuna’s rather wide range of complex reactions to even the smallest of things that you do, his habits tick you off - especially so when he calls you annoying for something that you feel is anything but.
so as you complain to sukuna about how he needs to be mindful of how many sheets he’s running through by staining them with blood when he carelessly returns to your shared bedroom from yet another colorful expedition, you're peeved by the way he stares at you so carelessly. you’ve been begging him forever to be more mindful of how he treats his belongings, especially now that you share the same things, but he always brushes your concerns aside by saying that he can just get more. but god forbid someone else were to stain his sheets, then he’d be out for blood.
his arms are crossed as he stands before you, eyes rolling over the ceiling as he makes his agitation rather evident. you’re a little thing in comparison to him, yammering on about the tenth set of sheets he has stained this month, but he wants to hear none of it. why is it such a big deal to you anyway? he has thousands of servants and limitless access to resources, so it shouldn’t matter to you whatsoever. besides, you’ve stained numerous sheets of his over the years with your arousal and he’s never complained. why does it all of a sudden hold importance to you what state his belongings are in now?
“would you quit your moaning, woman?” he snarls, overpowering voice speaking over you. his eyes are hard and slim as they stare over you, and you’re bubbling with rage the moment he cuts into what you’re saying. “it is not of relevance to me, so why is it of any relevance to you?”
“because it is, sukuna! why do you only hold value to the things you care about? we share a bed, obviously i’m affected by this too!” you argue.
“you are not a servant. servants concern themselves over such things.”
“oh, so now i’m beneath you for talking about this?”
sukuna groans. “i did not say that, brat.”
“yeah, but you insinuated it!” you retort. “i’m tired, sukuna, i wasn’t trying to make this a big thing.”
“yet you are attempting to by persisting so irritatingly.”
you throw your hands up, at your wit’s end. why does he never listen to you when there is something on your mind? why does he always push aside what you feel matters when he decides it doesn’t matter to him? why is he always so cold with you, so steely and headstrong as though he remains above you like you haven’t been by his side all this time?
you know how sukuna is, and yet him calling your opinions irritating riles you up in this moment. everything has to turn into an argument, and it weighs you down. nothing can ever run smoothly without sukuna taking offense or scoffing at the idea of you coming to him with something you feel should be fixed. you can’t win.
"seriously?" you plead. "i mean, really, i'm irritating because i don't want to sleep in blood every night?"
"christ, you don't sleep in blood. the sheets are changed before you come to rest!" he barks. "that is why i find this so annoying. you are complaining for nothing."
"you know what? you're annoying!" you point a finger to his broad chest. the king of curses lifts a brow, looking down at where your finger prods into him.
"i beg your pardon?" an amused, low chuckle ripples through him as though the sentiment is unheard of, which only pisses you off even more.
"you heard me. you're the fucking annoying one. you're always going on about how i shouldn't talk back, or how everything i feel doesn't make sense, or how the things i want don't matter because you don't want them! you act like you're so far above me, when i'm the only one sleeping in bed with you, sitting on your throne, supporting your psycho-ass ambitions - but i'm the irritating one, right? your girlfriend is such a pain in the ass, isn't she? for caring about your wellbeing and loving you when nobody else will?"
the salmon-haired king's eyes go dull as you shout at him, fury raging in your eyes as you continue to poke at him. you're playing with fire, but you don't care. you're fed up with the pretending, with the sly comments about your intelligence as a human being and the value of your interests.
"woman-"
"shut up! i'm not done."
oh. you've really lost it now, haven't you?
normally, sukuna would have made it a point to silence you and teach you a lesson by now, but for some reason, he's feeling generous. slightly intrigued by your outburst, he lets you go on with a domineering smirk.
"i don't care of you're the king of curses, or if you could kill me with the snap of your fingers, or if you've got thousands of people who bow down to you without a second thought like mindless sheep-"
"you are not those people."
"exactly!" you agree without thinking, and sukuna's smirk brightens. "i'm not! so stop- stop treating me like i am! stop talking to me like i'm unimportant and like i get on your nerves more than i do anything good for you! stop blowing me off because you don't know how to empathize! i'm your girlfriend. i care about you, and i also care about the state of your things which you always make a point to say are mine too- and fucking sue me if i'm tired of walking into your room after a long day to see blood stains from random ass civilians while your servants work to replace them in the next hour! what if i wanna lay down before then, huh? ever thought about that?
"god, i just wish you'd care! is that so hard for you to do, sukuna? to care about me and what i care about? i didn't wanna argue with you, but you make it so damn hard for me not to lose my mind! you never hear me talk about how much you drive me crazy, and you drive me crazy every damn day of the week!"
"is that so?" he pries, slyly.
"yes!"
"i implore you, tell me more about how i drive you crazy."
"have you not been listening to anything i've-?!" you freeze, reconnecting with the moment to look in sukuna's eye and see how he is enjoying listening to your rant. you stop, stepping back and lifting your finger from his chest. you breathe in and out deeply, worked up by your own emotion, and you finally take a second to realize what you have been doing. "you're mocking me," you conclude.
"i am doing no such thing."
you scoff. "whatever, sukuna. just forget it. sorry i'm so irritating to you."
you go to walk off, but sukuna is already wrapping a set of arms around you, tugging you back to his chest. you grit your teeth, peering up over your shoulder to look back and find the demon grinning down at you teasingly.
"you need to relax," he muses.
"don't fucking tell me to relax, sukuna, i'm already pissed off."
"mm. i can see that, and in feeling so you have forgotten who you are speaking to."
"see, this is what i'm talking about! i'm not your servant-"
"yes, yes, i know. it was hard not to catch what you were saying during your little tantrum."
"fuck you," you groan, moving to push away. sukuna tightens his grip, winding his arms securely over your stomach and pressing you to his chest. "sukuna," you whine.
"stop taking everything so personally," he ducks down to speak into your ear over your left shoulder. you jerk, turning your head in the direction of his voice. "you are fully aware that you are not the same as everybody else. if you were, you would not be so mouthy."
"yeah, well it's hard to tell what you think sometimes when you call me annoying all the damn time. if you want me to leave you alone, just say that and i can stop wasting my time."
"enoughhh," he hisses. "you must stop taking things so far."
"and you must stop being so mean," you mimic his speech.
sukuna snorts. "do not worry about the sheets. i will retreat elsewhere after massacres if it while cease your whining."
"oh, how lucky i am," you click your teeth.
"quite so," he turns in to press his lips to the space under your jaw. "if you were anyone else-"
"i'd be dead," you finish, involuntarily leaning into him though your face is still tense. "no one else should be in your bed anyway, you know."
"that is why no one ever will."
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productivefairy · 4 months ago
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Your guide to REAL selfcare
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If you go on any social media and type "selfcare", all you recieve is pretty girls doing extravegant skincare, dior makeup and all. But the problem is everyone does the same thing and things just cant work same for everyone. Also, It doesnt feels authentic rather it feels like consumerism. So, I am gonna tell what to do so you feel the best.
Knowing yourself:-
You can only do yourself a favour if you know yourself and the best way to do that is JOURNAL.
If you are new to it, then you can search journal prompt ideas on pinterest and make that a part of your routine. It helps so much.
Do shadow work. Go on pinterest and do the same thing.
Dont be ashamed of yourself, rather accept yourself and change for the better. When you'll journal then you will get to know tons of good and bad things about you but our brain loves to focus on negative things so u might get stuck on that.
Record your likes and dislikes. Which books you loved, which dramas you adore, which food makes you comfy and which movies you wasted your time on. Record these things, this is just so fun and helpful when you feel "bored" or sad.
Being Mindful:-
Most of the time, the problem is not that big but our thoughts just traps us and we feel that problem is bigger than it might so take a step back and try to not overthink about past or future.
I know this is easier said than done but meditating helps a lot with mindfulness.
When you watch a movie or drama or even ytube video then just do that. Dont scroll reddit reading the "discussion" thread of the episode or try to find instrumentals on spotify for reading books. Just do one thing at once.
Dont multitask. Just take a task and then focus on that. (This might not work for neurodivergent people.)
Do 5,4,3,2,1 grounding technique. Identify
5 things you can see 4 things you can feel 3 things you can hear 2 things you can smell 1 thing you can taste.
Cut negative people off
This is so hard because you feel mean for doing this but once you cutoff toxic people who just drags other people down and all they talk is negativity then your life become so much better.
Cut off all the negative content you watch and limit the time you spend on social media.
Do your future self a favour
This is truly the best selfcare.
Study hard cause' your future self will thank you for letting her be the top student
Learn some skills. Read those books. Watch that documentry. Do things that will make your future self proud.
Some selfcare ideas
Organizing and planning
excercise or take a walk.
Reading books.
Cleaning your room
Watching fun movies
Studying about yourself. Knowing what products suits your skin and your hair. What color brighten you and what makes you look dull. What haircut looks good on your face and what clothes flatters on your body.
Get your nails done.
Listen to your fav album while painting, baking, or gardening.
Do your hobby without feeling presurrized. No you dont need to read 50 books a year, chill out and enjoy while doing it.
Dairy writing. Its so fun to read what your day looked like on a random tuesday after 2-3 years.
Explore new things in your hometown. Maybe there is a new cafe that opened 2 weeks ago or there is a hiking trail you are not aware of? its always fun to do that.
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