#dont come for me on the length of these texts

[reallychaoticwoo]

Roomies to ?

Pairing: Woosan x reader

Warnings: Cursing and I think that's it.

*Woo just ruins everything 🙄 or does he? 👀

Group chat with Woosan

*No I didn't not pay attention to the times 🤦🏻‍♀️

These text do not portray the actual idols in any way and are 100% NOT real.

Memes from Pinterest and individual ID pics from TOKTOQ.

[awrkive]

THE LOVE PROGNOSIS, fin. — JJK (m.)

for as long as you can remember, you’ve always been a hopeless romantic.

the girl who’s always dreamt of cheesy encounters with her soulmate, grand love declarations, and a cute little beach wedding to boot. but reality pretty much slaps you hard right on the face, because love, unfortunately, doesn’t come grand — it’s simple and it’s quiet, but it is quite painful, especially when the love that you’ve been seeking for all your adult life has just been right under your nose all this time.

PAIRING jungkook x female reader // mingyu x female reader

GENRE r18+ (angst, fluff, smut) MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!

CHAPTER WORD COUNT 43.2k idcccccc atp😭 take ur time!

CHAPTER WARNINGS/MISC medical!au, roommates!au, surgeon!jk, surgeon!reader (they are both 4th year residents and are co-workers), corporate lawyer!mingyu, oc and jk are bffs since med school but their love language is fighting each other <3, jk and mingyu are bffs during undergrad, hopeless romantic!oc. dont read further warnings if u dont wanna be spoiled: ANGST. im aware i kinda overkilled it here but uh.. hear me out! explicit sexual content [ male mast*rbation, oral s*x (f&m receiving), making out, dry h*mping, penetr*tive s*x (protected and unprotected, missionary, cowgirl, doggy, spooning), a bit of c*mplay, jk <3 boobs, ily kink (redacted) cries during sex lol ]. FLUFFy fluff fluffff 😖 some of the scenes give very much like 2000s romcom vibes but idc sue me also theres a #merder reference ifykyk

NOTES we have finally reached the end! sorry it took me a month to get this out sjdfhd but its here and its long as fuck n im so proud of this and happy that i finished a series!! for once!!! will always love my silly tlp couple and the characters 🥹 let me know ur thoughts on my inbox oki and circulate by liking and reblogging if u enjoyed reading hihi ty ok bye enjoy reading!🫵🏼🫵🏼 [ important: pls make sure to read the note below ]

[ SERIES MASTERLIST ] // [ MAIN MASTERLIST ]

A day passed since the fiasco at the villa happened and Jungkook and you have acted like total strangers since then. The rest of your friends easily took notice of it; the silence between you two on the ride to the airport, the not-so discreet way you avoided each other at the waiting area, even going as far as exchanging seats inside the plane when on any other day, you two didn’t mind being close together physically. 

Jungkook knows absolutely that the avoidance is doing you both a disservice. You’re both grown adults and going to extreme lengths to ignore each other – like not even looking at the other when you bump in the hospital hallways – is a one-way ticket to your relationship’s foundations crumbling. 

That thought terrified Jungkook so much that he decided to come clean tonight. Talk to you properly when his mind is cleared and there was no Mingyu to aggravate his thoughts and project actions he’s not necessarily proud of – because the fight was juvenile, he knows that. Him committing and giving in to violence is not something he wants you to see, no matter the context. You were right when you said that was not him, and Jungkook can’t have you thinking otherwise.

When he steps in front of your apartment door, he thinks if you’re already there. He isn’t entirely sure. You two haven’t seen each other at the hospital and you haven’t been texting him either.  You might still be doing your rounds, he thought, but when he opens the door to your unit and trudges his feet to the living room, he catches a sight of you going out from your bedroom.

The two of you freeze upon seeing each other, but Jungkook’s surprise soon turns into confusion when he notices the carry-on luggage in your hand.

“Oh, you’re here,” You utter, filling the silence in the air. “I was just going.” 

“Where?” Jungkook instantly asks, taking you both by surprise. 

But you quickly recover. You give him a small smile – but what Jungkook clearly sees is a wince.  

“I’m going over to my sister’s,” You must’ve seen the way Jungkook’s boring holes at your pink luggage, and so you take a glance at it momentarily, tugging on the handle to scoot it over closer to your side. You clear your throat. “I’m staying there for a while.” 

Jungkook feels a certain weight drop on his shoulders, his lips parting at your declaration. 

“__, i-if this is about what I said, you don’t have to leave—”

You cut him off quickly. “No. It’s not that. I just… I just need some time away.”

Even though he doesn’t like the implication, he gets you.

Blinking, he thinks what to say next. Jungkook doesn’t want to say the wrong words – he’s well aware of the fact that he's put his foot in his mouth back at the resort, and he’s not fucking up the second time around. 

While he intended to talk to you tonight to address the elephant between you two, he also understands completely why you need time for yourself. It was too much. He told you a lot of things and he can’t expect you to process all of them in a single day.  

So, he nods, still stricken, heart heavy when he looks at you again. “Okay.” 

“Okay.” You repeat, voice a little louder than him. A pregnant pause, and you’re pulling up the handle of your luggage again, the wheels gliding on the floorboards as you begin to head towards the door to your apartment.

Jungkook doesn’t mean to sound so alarmed when he suddenly blurts out, “Now?” 

He doesn’t even know why. It was the obvious. You’ve packed your things – you’re heading out. But he couldn’t stop himself. It’s like there’s a sense of fear clouding his mind the more this moment of you leaving stretches out further.

You stop on your tracks, blinking at him. “Y-yeah?” 

“Oh.” Jungkook feels his hand itching to do something. Something stupid like grab your wrist gently to make you stay. 

But he knows that’s futile. He doesn’t have the right to make you stay if you don’t want to in the first place. 

“Seokjin’s actually coming in a few minutes,” you tell him, glancing at your phone. “My sister’s still at work, so she made him pick me up.” 

Jungkook can only give you a nod.

It makes sense for your brother-in-law to come pick you up. It also makes sense for you to stay over their place considering that their apartment isn’t that far from the hospital and you won’t have a hard time commuting to work if you planned to stay there for a little while. 

He wonders, though, why you aren’t staying at Doyeon’s instead… he doesn’t know if you’ve talked already, but from what it seems, you aren’t talking to the rest of your friends, either; judging by the way he hasn’t seen you together with any of them at the hospital. Taehyung had suggested that maybe you just need time, to which Doyeon and Nayeon agreed to. Jungkook can’t help but feel bad, though. You’re seemingly coming out isolated at the end of his own doing. If you’re avoiding your friends just because of him, that would be extremely unfair to you. Taehyung, Doyeon and Nayeon are just as much as your friends as they are his, and during these times, you should feel comfortable taking solace in their friendship like how he’s leaning on them currently.

Guilt washes over him at the thought. He can’t bear thinking about you hurting in the process of all of this. He just wants so badly to make it up to you, for you both to be okay again. You didn’t even have to acknowledge what he said – about him being in love with you. You could totally ignore it and act like it never happened, go on about your days like nothing changed as long as you’re by his side.

It hurts. It hurts that even when you’re just physically within his reach right now, he can’t seem to get a hold of you. And he has no one to blame but himself. 

A phone rings and Jungkook watches as you fish out your device from your pockets. 

“Must be Jin.” you say, picking up the call. You exchange a few words with your brother-in-law for a few seconds before hanging up and looking at him again. “He’s outside already.” 

Jungkook nods, biting back the words that consist of something stupid like “don’t leave”. 

“Your car…?” He hesitates, remembering how you’d drive to work. 

“It broke again yesterday. I’m actually… uh… thinking of just selling it. Get it over with.”

Your car. You mentioned your parents have turned it over to you during your junior year in college. It always broke in the most inconvenient times – like the one time you had a bad date, and you panicked-texted him about the car towing company not picking up. It was a Sunday and Jungkook was supposed to go over some paper works, but he scrambled out of his room to get you – and he didn’t regret it one bit because you were actually crying the moment he arrived. You had been overstimulated, what with another failed date and your broken car – it was all too much. And you just needed Jungkook to be there. You told him so. 

Jungkook cherishes those moments a lot. Not because you cried in them – he always felt like it was a punch to the gut whenever he sees you even an ounce of upset – but because it tells him that you trust him with that vulnerable side of you. It means he’s important enough to you to let him in your life. It’s one of those moments where Jungkook truly steps back to reevaluate your relationship – because sure, it could be merely friendship to anybody, but Jungkook doesn’t really think so. Your bond runs deeper than friendship, and he doesn’t even mean romantic. It’s the… camaraderie. The partnership.

He could’ve confessed a long time ago – that’s what people kept saying, but what they don’t know is that he has so much to lose. You are more than just the woman he would love to kiss and make love to or call his girlfriend – you’re the love of his life, you’re everything to him. And if he can’t have you in any way, he’d truly break. 

And now that everything’s said and done – with him finally baring his truth to you – it’s come to this.

You, leaving.

The silence that follows pricks Jungkook’s skin like needles, and the creak of your steps on the floorboards ring in his ears – a daunting harsh whisper of your farewell – although it’s just temporary. 

But something worries him. 

What if it’s not temporary? What if during your stay at your sister’s place, you decide to completely get rid of his company for the good and better? 

It’s all those frantic thoughts that urges him to call your name, but he doesn’t expect your voice overlapping with his as you say his name at the same time. 

Jungkook’s lips curl up slightly. “What is it?” 

Predictably, you wave your hand at him. “No, you first.”

“It’s okay.” 

Your hand hovers over the handle of your suitcase as you pass by him, stopping on the threshold of your apartment. “I just…” you trail off. You look at Jungkook for a moment. “I just wanted to say bye. And uh… that… I drank all your banana milk in the fridge. But I’ll wire you the money later. Or buy you another batch and I’ll give it to you at the hospital or—”

Jungkook cuts you off by calling out your name, broken by a laugh of amusement. His first smile today, maybe. You look at him wide-eyed. It’s fascinating the way you have him completely wrapped around your finger and you’re not even doing anything.

“It’s fine. You don’t need to wire me anything.” 

“Oh... well, I’m still sorry.” He nods, giving you a small smile. “What was it you wanted to tell me, then?” 

Right now, he forgets what it was even all about. “Just, uh, please tell your sister and Seokjin hyung I said hi.”  

Jungkook doesn’t want to delude himself into thinking that your face flashed a look of disappointment for the briefest moment after he said the words. At the back of his mind, he thinks you were expecting more – but he knows he’s reaching, grasping for straws, and he’s just desperate for anything from you he can’t really rationalize his line of thinking. 

So with a final wave of your hand – a bit timid – you turn around and open the door to your unit, and Jungkook watches as your form disappears completely, leaving him stoned in his position in the middle of the living room for a long time; head empty, body numb, until he gathers time to collect himself and finally move over to the bathroom, where he takes a cold shower in hopes for an improved mood.

It didn’t really do anything, and he found himself having a hard time sleeping – waking up randomly during the wee hours of the morning.

When he stirs awake from his blaring alarm at 5:30, he’s nothing but adrift.

It feels weird when he goes to the kitchen and he doesn’t see you, as he expects you to be there in whatever worn up shirt from high school you still have, making toast or some quick breakfast – with your playlist playing from your phone – but you weren’t. 

And Jungkook remembers that would be the case for another few days to come. Something he has to be okay with.

For the meantime.

He hopes.   

Jungkook doesn’t get drunk often, but now, his friends are assuming he is. For the record, though, he is not drunk and they are just exaggerating. Sure, he’s staggering and he’s mixing up his syllables and grammar – but he swears he just feels a little woozy.

“Jungkook,” Doyeon calls him, laughing a bit. “Come on, Taehyung’s driving you home.” 

“Don’t want to,” He says as he takes another swig of his fifth canned beer he’s been consuming since they all arrived at the barbecue place. “I can handle my alcohol.”

Which — fair. That’s not new news. But still—

“No shit, you have a shift tomorrow at eleven in the morning. Don’t be stubborn. It’s time to go home.” 

“It’s fine, I’ll Uber back.” 

Jungkook watches as Doyeon rolls her eyes. 

“Are you really moping right now?” 

He sends her a glare – one that she predictably does not take seriously. “‘M not moping. You’re moping.” 

“And I’m Kate Bush. Taehyung, can you just drag Jungkook out of here? I think he’s gonna cry any minute now and the auntie is closing. We gotta go.” Nayeon butts in, and even though her words may seem harsh around the edges, she looks at Jungkook with a concerned gaze. The playful atmosphere from earlier now dissipating.

Jungkook appreciates the warmth that he gets from Nayeon’s gentle approach to everything – but right now, all it does is make him feel pitiful. Doyeon’s right. He is moping. Moping for something that should’ve been within his control in the first place.

“Man, you know you bench way more than me. I can’t carry you out all by myself if you’re all drunk and shit.” Taehyung nudges him on the shoulder, enough to make Jungkook move from his seat. He only grumbles.

Doyeon sighs. “What do you want, Jungkook? Call __? Tell her you’re getting wasted and come pick you up?” 

Jungkook visibly flinches at the mention of you.

Ever since they arrived at the restaurant, Jungkook has noticed that his friends have been deliberately omitting your name in the conversation – until now, anyway. He thinks they all planned this spontaneous hang to “cheer him up” or whatever the fuck Taehyung said on their way here – which seemed like a slip-up, because Doyeon had hit the back of his head lightly right after saying it. 

They’re walking on eggshells around him like he’s some kind of house of cards – one nudge and a blow and he comes crumbling down.

Jungkook hates getting doted on like this. It’s not like you two broke up. They just knew that you went to stay at your sister’s place for a while and you never said when you’re coming back. He hasn’t had any encounters with you at the hospital nowadays – you’re getting good at hiding from him and the rest of the gang, and every single day bleeds into countless sleepless nights. You’ve been gone for five days; no calls, or at least a text. And it seems like you deactivated your IG. You aren’t tweeting or reblogging shit on Twitter as well. You’ve gone completely silent – and with every waking moment that Jungkook spends a day without your presence, it feels like you’re slowly slipping through his fingers.

“No.” he glares at the three of them. Standing up, he feels his vision dancing at the sudden action.

Well. Maybe he is sort of drunk. A little. 

“Hey, man, let’s go.” Taehyung ushers once again. This time, Jungkook acquiesces but with a groan. Nonetheless, he lets Taehyung wrap his arm around him to prevent him from tripping on his own feet.

When Jungkook manages to stand firm on the ground, he shuts his eyes tight to get a hold of himself and once again look at Doyeon and Nayeon who are still sitting by the table. With a confused expression, he asks, “Thought we’re all going?” 

“Minhyuk will pick me up.” Nayeon says. Jungkook nods, directing his gaze to Doyeon.

“Somebody’s picking me up, too,” When Jungkook squints his eyes at her, she rolls her eyes. “Don’t start. Tae, drive safely, okay? You didn’t drink, right?” 

Taehyung shakes his head and gives both women a reassuring nod before they head out of the building when goodbyes were bid, with Taehyung still pressing a hand on Jungkook’s back because he’s still a bit unstable on his feet. It’s not bad, though, Jungkook doesn’t think so. He just feels dizzy and shit, but it’s not anything water can’t solve.

Fuck, now he wants to get in bed as soon as possible. After a cold shower. 

“Sorry, man.” he says as he plops down on the passenger’s seat, buckling the seatbelt around himself. 

Taehyung comfortably settles on the driver’s seat, adjusting the rearview mirror a bit before starting the engine. But not after he responded to Jungkook with a snort, “It’s fine.” 

It’s a quiet car ride and Jungkook can already feel his eyelids threatening to fall, the haze of sleep already clouding his mind. He can’t recall how far it takes from the restaurant to his complex, but soon enough, Taehyung’s voice wakes him up from his stupor. 

“You okay there?” 

Jungkook hums, leaning back to relax his nerves. A minute flies and he sighs loudly, making Taehyung look at him momentarily.

“Don’t sleep on me. Again, I am not willing to carry you all the way to your apartment, fucker.”

That makes Jungkook laugh, a snicker escaping past his lips. It makes Taehyung do the same, scoffing at his friend as he did so. The car ride continues into a stretched-out comfortable silence before Taehyung breaks it with a question of, “You two still haven’t talked?” 

Jungkook stiffens at the mention, and he knows his friend notices the way he did, but he quickly tries to shake it off. “Yeah. She’s still at her sister’s.” Taehyung nods. When Jungkook looks at him, he decides to ask, “What ‘bout you? She reached out yet?” 

“No.”

Jungkook inhales a sharp breath. 

This is bad. You’re ignoring all your friends because of him. 

“Sorry.” Jungkook says after a pregnant pause.

“What for?”

“Dunno. Feels like it’s all my fault,” a sigh escapes past his lips again. “You guys don’t deserve to get caught up in this.”

“Jungkook,” There’s a lilt to Taehyung’s voice that reminds Jungkook again that the man beside him is older than he is and sometimes, Taehyung can be way more mature, almost like an older brother. He forgets their age difference most of the time. “Don’t say that.  __ just needs her time. She’ll come around.”

The smile Jungkook gives his way is bitter but it’s a smile, nonetheless.

“I don’t know, Tae,” He leans his head back on the seat, staring at nothing in particular. “It’s different this time.”

“You’ve fought before,” Taehyung points out. “How is this different?” 

Jungkook does know what he’s trying to point out. He may be referring to the time in third year of med school when you didn’t talk to him for a month – but still. This, right now – whatever is happening – is far from what happened back then.

“Just different,” He shrugs, a poor attempt at nonchalance so Taehyung doesn’t think he’s being pathetic. “I feel like this is it.” Taehyung looks at him curiously when the red light turns on. It makes Jungkook squirm, but he voices out what he feels, anyway. “I’m losing her.”

That felt weird the moment it slips his tongue. For the past few days, it’s been in his head – making up the mess of his thoughts. When he said that, for once, it felt like finality. Like its verbalization actually made it real. 

He does feel like he’s losing you. And it feels like the absolute truth.

“You can’t say that when you haven’t even talked to her, Jungkook,” Taehyung says and he says it so firmly. When Jungkook studies the older guy’s face, it’s etched with sincerity, especially when he adds, “Do you really think she’ll let go of an almost decade-long relationship just because of what happened? Frankly speaking, even if she does not feel the same way about you at all, I know her enough to know that she’ll have at least the decency to let you down properly. I think she’s just trying to think all of this through. She’ll talk when her head’s clear.” 

Jungkook finds himself processing his words. You are exactly like that. You’re the type of person to need your personal space when you’re confronted by huge predicaments. When he thinks about it – you have so much on your plate. Mingyu, him, your relationship with each of them; Jungkook realizes things must be so hard for you right now, both emotionally and physically. And you’re dealing with all this while still showing up for your rotations.

“You’re right.” Jungkook whispers. 

“Just… time, okay? You both need time.” Taehyung says and for once, Jungkook smiles a genuine one. 

The light turns green, and Taehyung continues to drive. 

Taehyung decided to turn up his jazz playlist and it eased Jungkook’s mind a bit. But it did lull him to sleep all the way to his apartment complex. Thankfully though, it only took Taehyung a few seconds of nudging him before he stirred awake, disoriented when he opened his eyes only to hear his friend say they were already there, ushering him out of his car. 

He said his thanks to Taehyung, and his friend made sure to tell him to take it easy before he took off. When he was gone, Jungkook went straight to the elevator to press his floor, mind and body working on autopilot as he sauntered over the hallway to stop in front of his unit.

When the door opens, he feels a sense of calmness at the sight of his own place with everything at his disposal including the bathroom that he quickly head towards, not hesitating to strip himself naked on the way to the shower, letting his clothes form a heap on the threshold; bare and naked without a care in the world.

Stepping into the shower box, he turns the showerhead on, hissing at the cold water spraying onto his skin. He needed the cold to get rid of his sluggishness – and it works just as instantly as he’d hoped. 

Both of his hands shoot up to brush his hair off his forehead, and he stays in that position for awhile; with the water running on his body and his head leaned back a bit, eyes closed as he relaxes. 

He mindlessly reaches for his shampoo bottle, but when he opens the cap, he smells a completely different product. What welcomes him when he opens his eyes back again is the familiar sight of Bath and Body works bottle. Your water lily springs body wash.

Despite his current headspace, it brings a smile to Jungkook’s lips.

Right.

He’s noticed in the past few days that you left it in your shared bathroom. Considering all the things that you still have around the apartment, it didn’t really look like you packed a lot of things when you left – which should ease Jungkook’s mind. Still, though; the small size of your luggage and the quantity of what you brought with you do not matter when you still aren’t home. 

And with that, Jungkook feels himself slipping back into… mulling again. And he can’t help but heave out a sigh. 

He just… wants to rest for tonight. Just wants his head emptied out. Relax. He feels like he’s been on edge for the longest of time and he just needs some sort of – he’s not sure – comfort? Maybe something along the lines? 

And as if his hand has a mind on its own, he grips the bottle of your body wash and squirts an ample amount on his palm, the scent of water lily springs surrounding the confined space of the shower immediately. 

He lathers it all over his chest, inhaling the gentle waft and how it weirdly calms him from the inside. The room smells just like you. He smells just like you. And it isn’t the first time he’s doing this – he’s always liked the way you smelled, and he may have used your body wash by accident countless of times. Jungkook sometimes does it just to tease you – because you always point it out when you notice that he smells the same, and then you get all irritated and it makes Jungkook keen because you’re just so goddamn cute when you glare at him and when you get mean. Teasing you also means that you’d get mad enough to sulk at him, and that gives him the opportunity to make it up to you; and making it up to you means he gets all of your attention. 

It’s pathetic but Jungkook’s not ashamed to admit that – just to himself, though. He likes when you give him attention, can you blame him?

His mind goes back to the memory of you cuddling with him on the ground at that random playground near your complex, how you snuggled up to his arm, giggling and threatening him to stop using your body wash. He remembers all the times you would cook together on nights when you’re both free – lounging on the couch mindlessly, either watching a show and debating over useless, stupid stuff – or when you would force him to rub your foot or massage your neck. Jungkook doesn’t relent until after you complain for a good five minutes. He’s gotten better at pretending overtime that he doesn’t look forward to touching any part of you.

At that thought, he recalls the way your back felt on his hands when he rubbed sunscreen all over it when you were at the resort. How the plane of your gorgeous skin felt so smooth to the touch, how you make him feel even with just the slightest baring of your skin. 

Jungkook shuts his close when his mind goes into overdrive.

You. You. You and your bikini. You and your short shorts that might as well just be panties in disguise. You and those cute little, tight camisoles you always wear around the apartment. How he could just sometimes see the outline of your nipples where the thin material of your shirt clings to. How your bare legs look so good when you cross them while reading the paper on a Sunday morning by the kitchen island. How your breasts look like they could fit in Jungkook’s big palms with a bit of overspill – enough to drive him insane. 

These are the thoughts in Jungkook’s head as he continues to lather the liquidy texture of your body wash all over his body – and when his hand finally nudges the dick in between his legs, he groans. 

He’s not a stranger to getting off to the thought of you – you’re a gorgeous woman and it doesn’t really help the fact that he’s been in love with you for god knows how long – but it doesn’t mean that he does it guilt-free. He almost always feels like shit afterwards. 

But he can’t help it. Not when you’re all over his head again. Not when he’s thinking about how good it would probably fucking feel if he could just have a taste of your plump lips. How it would feel if he could just suck on your neck, paint you with his love there, down to your cleavage then play with both of your tits with his hands – be greedy with it – get your nipples rock hard and pretty tight for him, suck and latch and nip and lick them, make sure it’s all wet before he goes down more south. 

God. He thinks about it all the time. How’d it feel to go down on you. You’re so fucking pretty he could just imagine how gorgeous you would look down there, too. Were you the type to like getting eaten out? Jungkook hopes so. Because he would do everything to satisfy you. Fuck, he’d be so good to you. He’d tease your clit with his thumb first and you’d tell him that you’re aching for him bad – and he’d cave in and get his first taste with the flat of his tongue and fuck. You probably taste so good he’d crave it for days to come. 

The next thing Jungkook knows, he’s holding the base of his cock firmly, feeling it getting harder every second. It grows in his hand as he continues to think about eating your pussy, imagining the sounds you’d let out, how you’d look extra beautiful getting fucked by his tongue. Shit. He’d do it so well if you just asked. 

Jungkook traps his bottom lip with his teeth as he starts teasing his own cock, already in its full mass, hard and standing tall against his abdomen. He can see the shiny texture of his tip, precum leaking out, begging to be touched. He doesn’t wait any second to thumb the liquid off his head, letting out a half-sigh, half-hiss at how sensitive it felt, especially when he runs it over the veiny base.

Inhaling a sharp breath, Jungkook steps back a bit to cup his balls, squeezing it just enough to make him close his eyes. He repeats the motion of sliding his hand up and down his erect cock, feeling himself getting wetter at every second that passes. 

He gets a picture of you on your knees, and as he pumps himself at a slow pace, he imagines it’s you instead kneading him. You have slender fingers and pretty nails, it would feel so much better if they were wrapped around his cock right now. Your nails would scrape against his length, and you’ve held hands enough times for Jungkook to know that his hand is significantly bigger than yours, so you probably won’t fit all of him in your hand – but that’s alright. You’d tease him on the tip instead, spread his precum all over, get him needing and wanting more. 

Jungkook’s hips start to buck as he speeds up his pace, this time jacking himself harder as his mind jumps to more thoughts of you  — but this time around, you’re not on your knees: you’re pressed on the glass wall of the shower box, your ass bent for all of him to caress and squeeze, and you’re craning your head to look at him with hooded eyes, lips parted into a gorgeous “o” as you beckon him to come closer and put his hard dick in your warm, tight, and aching pussy. 

“Fuck.” Jungkook curses as he lets his forehead fall to the wall, resting there for a few good seconds, other hand scrambling to turn off the shower and quickly shutting his eyes close as he pictures himself thrusting into you instead of his stupid fucking hand.

“Shit, shit, shit—” He hisses, hand going faster around his length, pumping himself desperately to the thought of his dick sliding in and out of you.

Your moans would fill the tight room, and you’d sound so pretty. You’d be so pliant against the strong arm that he would wrap you with — and Jungkook would make sure to flick your nipples and fondle your breasts as he pounds into you from behind.

“Fuuuuck…” 

He grunts and he moans, hand impossibly going faster — dick getting harder. He just wants a release. He wants to cum so bad — to kiss you and love you and have you say it back with the same earnestness as him. 

Jungkook wants so badly to have you in his arms right after he eats you out, to cuddle with you and pretend like you have all the time in the world after he’s made sure to make love to every single inch of your body. To caress your hair and press a kiss on your head anytime he likes – because he’s allowed to. Because you love him. He just wants to be able to touch you in any way possible. Run his fingers over your back, kiss your cheeks, and your scrunched nose. Just wants to bury his face in your chest after a long day at work. Hold you tight against him. Have you close to him, whenever and wherever. 

But he doesn’t have all that. He can’t have all that. Not when you don’t even feel the same. Not when you reacted that way when he told you he loves you more than just his best friend. 

“I’m sorry, but I just can’t wrap my head around it. You’re not telling me the whole truth and frankly, I don’t believe you.”  

Your words ring in his ears as he continues to jack himself. 

The memory is still so vivid in his head — the surprised look on your face — certainly not the pleasant one. You were so… surprised. And angry. Like you didn’t believe any of what he said. Like you were trying hard to convince yourself that whatever you were hearing from him wasn’t true. 

Because she doesn’t feel the same way. Jungkook thinks.

He remembers the night you left. How you could barely look him in the eyes. 

“Shit—” Jungkook hisses as he squeezes his balls, hand pumping faster around his swollen cock. He closes his eyes as he tries to regulate his breathing, his stomach tightening at his impending release – and it’s the last thing he does in favor of his own sanity before his mind slips back again to life without you in it. 

He would never have you. He can never be anything to you anymore. 

He will never be, especially as he looks down at his hand on his cock.

How pathetic.

What would you think if you were to see him right now, getting himself off by imagining it’s you instead? You’d be so disgusted. You’d look at him like he’s a different person and feel betrayed because – how could the person you trust think about you like this? 

There’s that sense of self-hatred again that Jungkook feels whenever he jacks off to you. That fear of you finding out and not liking it. 

Jungkook tugs at his cock angrily as he thinks about all that, and he doesn’t notice that the stinging in the sides of his eyes would soon turn into tears running down his cheeks as he tries to reach his climax. 

You would hate him so much. You don’t even like him anymore. Don’t even want to live with him anymore.

But he just wants to cum so bad. Just wants to feel some sort of clarity. Delude himself into basking in that quick dopamine. 

He traps a sob in his throat as he makes quick work of his cock, and with one last squeeze around his tight balls, he shoots his hot cum to the wall, hips bucking at his orgasm. 

Letting out a series of hushed curses, Jungkook continues to pump his cock for more until he feels sensitive, and his dick turns soft and languid against his legs. 

He grabs the shower head to spray the cum off the wall, feeling the water already turning lukewarm. When he finishes cleaning his mess up, he grabs your body wash and exits the shower, throwing the bottle in the trash can with haste as if it burned him. As he turns back around, he catches sight of himself over the lavatory’s mirror. 

There are dark circles under his eyes — not too visible — but they’re there. His eyes are red from crying, and suddenly his body itches. He should shower again and actually clean up this time.

But Jungkook realizes as he stares at himself again… he has never looked so tired. Not even in med school. Or during internship. 

This whole thing is taking a toll on him – he knows that well by now. Even his friends do as well. He’s fucking up his sleeping schedule and he’s not even eating properly. He hits the gym not because he wants to but because it helps shut down his head.

Jungkook sighs. 

He’s long accepted that the love he holds for you is so big it sometimes borders on piteous. He’s spent so many years going into this kind of phase where he just mulls over the same thing; that he loves you, but you will never ever feel the same way back.

And the thing is, he's always been okay with it. Jungkook loves loving you. He’d be a fool not to when he genuinely thinks that you were made to be loved.  

But at this point, he just feels… tired.

Exhausted. Empty.

He wants to sleep. He wants to rest. He wants to wake up the next day and not feel like shit anymore.

Maybe Doyeon was right back at the villa.

It is time to move on.

And maybe… just maybe… unlike all the other times he’s attempted to do the same thing, this time around will be successful.

Your 7am to 2pm shift had just concluded when you arrived at your sister’s place, only to see them both all dolled up, ready to go out.

They told you that you could come with them if you liked, but of course you refused. You’re not the type to interrupt a date and they were certainly too in love for your liking. Don’t get you wrong, you love that for both – but you’re getting pretty sick of romance these days and you’re trying to avoid it as much as possible. Seokjin made sure to throw another one of his “Don’t mope around, okay? We have Macallan in the cupboards. You know the one.” jokes, though – having already known why you’re here in the first place – and your sister pinched his ear painfully enough for you to ignore and roll your eyes at him lightheartedly. 

Which leads you to now, binge-eating a left-over tub of vanilla ice cream on a Sunday afternoon from last night’s impulsive purchase. You know it’s going to make you feel like shit later, but you can’t really bring yourself to care – not when the ice cream tastes too good paired with a Sex and The City episode. 

You like to delude yourself you’re the early season Miranda; independent, boss bitch, career-driven, straightforward but kind. But you had a mortifying realization that maybe you’re actually Carrie. You’re both so obsessed with love and glorify the idea of “The One” that you overlook red flags in a guy just to stay in a relationship. And for what? To be completely broken and fucked over in the end of it all. 

But you don’t want to be Carrie – sure, she has a special place in your heart as a fictional character but real-life Carries, with all of their delusions and ideals, are not meant for the real world.  

“You’re watching that show again?”

You almost fall over the couch when you hear a familiar voice behind you, and when you crane your neck to look who it was, your eyes widen.

“Mom!” you exclaim, rightfully surprised. Your mother – in the flesh – smiles as she sees you grin. “Oh my god, I didn’t know you’d be here— wait, how’d you get inside?”

She waves you off. “You know your sister and Jin gave me a duplicate key to their place. Anyway, I’m just here to drop off some side dishes. Also, I know what you’ve been up to. And stop eating that ice cream.”

You pout, taking the tub away from you. When you see her walk towards the kitchen with her bags – presumably the side dishes she was talking about – you follow behind her steps, helping her load the containers in the fridge. 

“What do you mean you know what I’ve been up to?” 

“You and Jungkook fought, I heard.” 

“Mom,” you say with a tone that tells her you don’t want to talk about it at all. 

“You know I’m going over there shortly to give him these, right? Supposed to be for the both of you, but oh well, you’re lounging around here.” She says. 

“I’m not lounging around here. They love that I’m here.” You counter, referring to your sister and Seokjin. It almost sounded like a whine, though, more than anything. But it was true! They like you being here! They’ve always treated you like their child… but you know you’re kind of pushing it with your sixth-day-stay. 

Your mother looks at you disapprovingly, loading the last container before shutting the fringe doors shut. 

“Whatever you’re fighting about, you know avoiding it is not going to make it better.” 

You sigh. “I’m not even sure if we’re fighting, anyway.” 

“What’s that mean?” Your mom asks, sounding confused. You can imagine.

“I don’t know… just – I don’t think we’re angry at each other.”

“Not being angry at each other is worse than being angry at each other. That sounds like withdrawal.” 

You wince at her words. “Maybe.” 

Your mom sighs. She takes out a bit from the container of stir-fried zucchini and slides you both a plate. “Have you been eating real food? You look like you’re not eating properly.”

Teenager and college you would’ve rolled your eyes because she always says that you’re losing weight and blah blah blah, but it’s not even true. However, you do know she’s just concerned, though, and so you nod your head, picking up a zucchini and eating it.

“Yes. Jin’s a good cook.”

She nods, eating as well. “So is Jungkook. He hasn’t talked to you at all?” 

You thought you’ve dodged the topic of Jungkook completely but apparently your mom’s still on that. You nibble on your bottom lip as you think what to say.

“He… uhm… he didn’t text or call.” Well. There was one time. Two days ago. And it was just a simple text about informing you of the sudden change in the OR schedule. You replied to it with a thanks and a smiley face, but he didn’t say anything after that — not that your thanks should guarantee anything. That was not exactly a conversation starter.

Still. 

“Have you talked to him?” 

Shoot. 

You shake your head a bit. 

The truth is that you can’t be sad about Jungkook not reaching out when you haven’t been doing the same thing either. You’re running away from him – you can admit that. The past week hasn’t been your proudest moment. You’ve thought it over countless times; why you just can’t go ahead and speak to him – because heck, for eight years you’ve always done a good job at it, communicating with each other when things went wrong. Like when he teases you too much and you actually get offended, and the same goes for him.

But what happened wasn’t just something that came out of a supposedly lighthearted banter. It wasn’t your usual banter at all. 

“What happened, sweetie?” And this time your mom’s voice is bordering on concern. 

You don’t look at her when you say, “Jungkook said he’s in love with me.” 

You don’t get a reaction. At least – the reaction you were expecting. You thought she would gasp, or at least let out an, “Oh”, but there’s none of that. When you peer up at her, she just nods. 

As if the news was no surprise. 

“And I take it didn’t go well?” She looks at you gently. 

“N-no,” you stammer. Swallowing the lump in your throat, you say, “It was – it was so messy that day, mom. You know we went to that resort for his birthday, right? He and my boyfriend fought, and just – so much happened. I don’t even remember half of it. Just that he told me he’s been in love with me for the past eight years.” 

Your mom nods. “Your boyfriend… is that Mingyu?” 

“Yes.” It feels weird to call him your boyfriend now. You used to be so giddy calling him that. But right now, it feels almost icky. 

“Why did Jungkook and him fight?” 

You told her what Jungkook told you – everything, and your mom is sweet almost all of the time but as she listens to everything that Mingyu supposedly did and say – especially about you – she can’t help but knit her brows in that quiet anger you know all too well now. But it soon dissipates to worry. 

She steps closer to you. You look at her with a sad smile. With that, she encloses her arms around you, and you let your chin fall on her shoulder as you reciprocate her hug. You almost cry when she squeezes you. “How are you feeling then, sweetie?” She asks, voice so gentle and soft. Comforting. You think this has been what you needed all this time.

“Like shit.” you chuckle. “I’ve never been so tired. I haven’t even talked to Mingyu yet – I haven’t been talking to anybody, even my friends. I don't know why I’m like this.” 

“You know I worry for you.”

“Hm?” 

“You’re such a lovely, sweet girl. And these men keep breaking your heart. I wish I can ease your pain, honey. You have the biggest heart in the world.” 

You nibble on your bottom lip as you feel that stinging in your eyes at her words. You remember Jungkook saying almost the exact same thing.

“Jungkook told me that sometime ago.” you say, holding back the cry you know is coming out any second now. 

“He knows you well.” She says as she caresses your head. 

“I just…” you let out a sigh again, trying to shake off the oncoming tears. “When he told me he loved me all this time, I said I didn’t believe him. I couldn’t wrap my head around it. I still can’t.” 

“Do you think he would lie about something like that?” 

It’s firm and final when you say, “No.” Because you know in your heart that was true. Jungkook is anything but a liar. And especially about something like that… you just don’t think he would ever hurt you intentionally. That’d be cruel and Jungkook was never cruel. It’s just not in his nature. 

“Hm. Then is it because you don’t feel the same way at all? That’s why you can’t believe it?” Your mom asks and it’s the most groundbreaking question you’ve ever heard after a while. 

Do you just… not feel the same way? 

That was definitely the biggest question you’ve been avoiding answering. 

But as your mom pushes you slightly so she can look at you earnestly, gently, like she has no expectations whatsoever – just here to hold and comfort you – it beckons you into spilling your emotions. 

“I… I really don’t know, mom.” You intake a sharp breath. “He’s been a constant presence in my life for eight years. We’ve never– we’ve never considered the possibility of being more than just friends. I– I don’t know why he would love me. Or fall for me. He’s never shown interest, the way I saw it – but these days I’ve been rethinking that and I’m beating myself over for being stupid because it’s like – how could I have not known? He’s always been so caring towards me. Always makes time for me. He’s never let me down and he’s just – he’s my person, mom. Always has been. And how could I have thought that he didn’t mean for that to come off as purely platonic?” you stop, feeling your lips wobble. “It’s just… I don’t know. I don’t know what to feel. All I know is that these days without him have been so painful, especially when we haven’t properly talked. I miss him everyday and it kills me that we aren’t like before right now. I want to be by his side all the time, and I think I may have taken that for granted for the past eight years we’ve known each other.” 

You don’t realize you’ve let out so much, but your mom just lets you snuggle closer to her, knowing that you’re feeling a lot right now. And you do. You haven’t talked to anyone about what you really felt – not even your sister, even though you knew she did her best to do so – but as your mom soothes your back with the gentle rub of her hand, you let yourself be comforted. 

“You know what I think, honey?” 

You look up at her with teary eyes, nodding weakly.

She gives you a small smile. “Do you remember that time when I thought he was your boyfriend when you brought him for Christmas?” 

Nodding, you chuckle. Second year of med school it was. Eunwoo was in Switzerland for a a big project – and Jungkook’s parents weren’t in town. You both didn’t have anybody to celebrate Christmas with and so you ended up asking Jungkook to come home with you. 

It wasn’t just your mom who thought he was your boyfriend. Your sister and Seokjin also assumed the same thing. 

Around that time, you haven’t introduced Eunwoo to them yet so basically, they didn’t know that you were taken already. 

“I think this is just me being old… but you kind of… you get to know these things, __. You’ll see somebody's eyes, they way they gaze at somebody. When we were opening those gifts during Christmas eve, I saw the way that kid looked at my daughter with so much adoration that I even thought you were just being coy about him being your boyfriend.” 

Your lips curl into a tight line. 

You… certainly did not notice any of that. Did that really happen?

“I think Jungkook’s a good man, and your dad is fond of him – he asked me yesterday if you’re gonna bring him for Thanksgiving or Christmas, he misses his chess buddy, it seems. No pressure, though,” your mom chuckles. “But Jungkook’s smart, kind, polite, works hard, really charming—” you laugh again, despite yourself, because that’s definitely true. He charmed your parents so quickly with ease. It’s just really about his pleasant personality that attaches people to him. “But most especially, he makes you really happy. I liked that Jaehyun guy and Eunwoo because they made you happy when you were together. Up until they didn’t. I only like people who are good to you, sweetie. That was why I liked your ex-boyfriends for a while,” She begins caressing your head again and you feel like a little girl again, finding comfort in your mom’s bedroom after a bad day at middle school. Your mom smiles softly before she continues, “But those men hurt you. And they leave you. And you know who hasn’t in the past eight years? The only one who’s been consistent in making you happy?” 

It’s Jungkook. He’s always been under your nose while you cried over other men, and he was there to support you through it all. He’s the one who makes you laugh at his stupid jokes. The one who sits with you in your feelings on days when you don’t feel your best. He’s the one who lets you cry on his shoulder when a surgery doesn’t go well, the guy who would drop everything for you with one text or call, the guy who gifts you stupid, stupid random things because they reminded him of you. He’s the guy who shares his playlists with you, comments silly stuff on your equally silly posts, and he’s the only one who has never, ever made you feel like you’re not enough. He’s the only one who has never left and hurt you. 

It’s always been Jungkook. 

Your mom doesn’t need to say the name, though, just one look at you and she knows you're thinking the same thing. 

It’s during midday at the hospital when you see Jungkook again.

The elevator dinged and the doors finally opened on your floor, but you froze in your position when you saw who was inside the whole time. 

It was Jungkook, sitting slightly on the handrails while crossing his arms. His posture straightened for a bit as he met your eyes, looking equally surprised as you. But then he recovered and relaxed in his position just as quickly. 

You couldn’t read the look on his face.

Taking a hold of yourself before the door automatically closes, you stepped a foot inside the lift and pressed on the button of your floor immediately. The 7th floor button is lightened up, so you assumed Jungkook was gonna get off earlier than you since you were going down on the sixth floor. 

The confined space had never felt more suffocating. You could feel there was something in the air – a thick tension that was getting too hard to bear every second you felt the elevator moving down. 

There was a lump that formed in your throat, especially when you caught a glimpse of the reader going floors down fast, and the 7th one was nearing. 

Your heart beat erratically against your chest. You didn’t even feel that nervous back in the OR twenty minutes ago.

But you figured it was the first time you felt close, after all.

It was funny, really – what you felt at that moment. Being physically close to Jungkook had never made you feel like that – like you’re on edge – you’ve always just approached it as something natural, like you were meant to be that way. And those times, you never really thought about the contact ending. 

But in that moment, it felt like he was slipping away – even though you were not even holding him in the first place. 

It was probably why you let out your next words, craning your neck to the side to try and look behind you where you knew Jungkook was at. 

“I miss you.” 

You barely said it. Felt like just a soft whisper as the words slipped past your lips, but there was a break around its edges – like it was the most vulnerable thing you’ve ever said. 

It was. 

And you didn’t exactly know why you did it. 

Maybe you just wanted him to know. Maybe you just wanted him to understand that… that you were still there. And that you missed him. Every single day. Regardless of what happened. 

There was a thick silence that hung in the air after that, and you should’ve taken back your words right after they came out. Embarrassment should’ve clouded you by then. But you couldn’t bring yourself to do so. 

That was as honest as you could get. 

You didn’t even expect a reply – assuming that maybe Jungkook hadn’t heard it. 

But you heard the soft tap of his steps on the floor and felt his overwhelming presence coming near you. And just like that, you knew he was behind you. Close. A hair's breadth away. 

Then, you hear him let out a soft sigh, and you could feel his breath brush against your ear as he leaned down. You never realized how much you craved his affection until you felt him slightly nudging his cheek against the crown of your head. 

It made you keen. Made you shut your eyes close. Basking in the moment, but you didn’t ignore the pain that it caused. 

Because somehow, despite what might seem like a sweet gesture – the whole thing felt like goodbye.

It was so intimate, though, that you almost forgot that you were currently on the 8th floor and he was dropping off on the next. 

The elevator dinged like a wake-up call. And when you opened your eyes, Jungkook had already peeled his body away from you. Nibbling on your bottom lip, you fought the urge to cry as you saw him walking out. 

Before the door closed, he took one look at you. His mouth opened, as if wanting to say something. You waited. But he closed his lips again, not bothering to look back for even one last time before the elevator doors closed in front of your face. 

The interaction left a certain melancholy in your heart, and it made you run on auto-pilot when the elevator stopped on your floor. 

You never expected for the encounter to happen – but it did, in its own way. And now you have to deal with the consequences of your impulsive actions.

Your mindless walking has led your feet to somewhere a bit secluded. It’s far across the hall, and you recognize it as some old, empty ward. You and your friends have one on the 5th floor but you don’t think you’ve never really been here before and so you weren’t sure.

But you’re desperate to let out a good cry. Maybe not exactly cry – but just be alone for awhile. The hospital and your schedule are busy enough as they are and it’s enough to keep your mind occupied since the morning – but that interaction with Jungkook at the elevator reminded you of the weight that you’ve been carrying lately and you just… want to dissipate a little. Even if it means sacrificing your three-minute lunchtime. 

You don’t suspect anything as you twist the doorknob open – surprise to see it’s not locked like you thought it would be. 

And the sight leaves your mouth hanging open. 

“Oh my god.” 

“What the fuck.” 

“Shit!” You watch as Doyeon pushes off the man wearing a white lab gown on top of her – a very familiar figure that you can only recognize as none other than the attending surgeon Dr. Kim Namjoon. 

A panicked, “I’m sorry!” leaves your mouth before you turn on your heel, ready to fly off the scene when you hear Doyeon’s voice calling you from behind.

“Wait, __!” 

You hesitantly look back.

It’s obvious what they were doing before you entered the room. Doyeon’s hair is unusually out of the ponytail she always shows up to work with, and Dr. Kim… Jesus. He’s always been so intimidating to you – with his tall stature and his aura that reeks so much of authority, even though he doesn’t even try, it feels so fucking weird to suddenly see him with his hair all mussed up when it always looks kempt every single time you see him along the hallways of the hospital. Right now, he looks coy, like he’s shrinking himself as he avoids looking at you.

“Dr. __, I am so deeply sorry,” His apology sounds so remorseful that you feel bad for even having to barge in. You can see Dr. Kim fumbling with his coat as he looks at Doyeon like he’s looking for help. Doyeon looks at him, but she just… rolls her eyes.

“Joon, just–” She cuts herself off, shutting her eyes close. Seemingly agitated. Or embarrassed. You don’t know why you’re still here. “You should leave now, I’ll talk to __.” Doyeon lets her gaze fall back to you and your eyes widen at the declaration, not really knowing if she was serious or not. 

You mean… what are you even going to talk about? Sure! You’re shocked as fuck to see them together in that position but you’re not about to ask her about her sex life!

… Okay. So maybe you are a little bit (only a little) curious about that.

Dr. Kim has always been a mystery to all of you. Taehyung and Jungkook admire him so much, the latter lowkey idolizes him at this point. Nayeon has always spoken highly about him and you’re literally a fan of all his work in his field, especially his books. It doesn’t help that he’s attractive as hell, too, and you all may have gossiped about him at one point in your lives – so sue you for being curious! You’re just human.   

“You sure?” Dr. Kim says, barely spoken, but you don’t miss the gentle way he holds Doyeon’s shoulder as he asks that, the way his face contorts into a concerned expression when he looks down at her. One quick interaction and you instantly realize that oh… this is serious. 

They’re not just having casual sex in this ward.

This is Doyeon’s boyfriend.

Your bestfriend nods at him and you step aside to give Dr. Kim some space to leave the room, still visibly stunned. You thought he was going to leave when he utters another apology again. 

“__, I’m really sorry about this behavior. Doyeon and I—” 

Doyeon groans. “Joon, oh my god. It’s fine.” 

You watch as Dr. Kim’s (who Doyeon apparently calls “Joon”— what the hell) lips fall into a thin line. “Fine. I’ll go. We’ll talk about this later, alright?” 

“I know.” 

He gives you both one last glance before the door closes on you.

You swear you tried to look for cameras everywhere – like they do in The Office – to see if the whole thing was a prank. But no. Your life’s unfortunately not a sitcom.

“I told him to lock the door earlier,” Doyeon starts, sounding defeated as she falls back on one of the emergency beds. Sighing, she covers her face with her hands. “This is so embarrassing.” 

At that, you can’t help but react immediately. 

“You’re embarrassed about the fact that you’re fucking an insanely stupid hot, intelligent man?” Your brows knit. 

Doyeon looks at you and you both stare at each other. She holds her own, like she usually does, but for the first time ever, she breaks and chuckles. The laughter turns hilarious, and you follow her into the bed. 

“God,” she utters. She licks her bottom lip and looks at you shyly. “I didn’t mean for you to find out this way.” 

“I mean… what did you mean to do instead?” 

She hesitates. “I’m not sure.”

You frown. “So, you just… you just weren’t going to tell me? Us?” You didn’t bother to hide the tone of disappointment in your words. Doyeon looks a little ashamed when you verbalized that.

“It’s not that. I just didn’t know how,” She says. You knit your brows in confusion. “You know I’ve always been… private about my dating life or whatever. I don’t tell you guys I’m dating until I’m sure the guy and I are official. I… I don’t even date a lot in the first place.” 

Well… that was true. You nod at her, giving her a reassuring smile. “Yeah, I get that.” Doyeon smiles a little. “How long?” 

There’s a pregnant pause before she says, “Uh… since Feb?” 

“Jesus.” She winces at your reaction. You stare at her with your jaw slack. “What the fuck, Doyeon? Nine months?”

“Well, technically, eight but—” you look at her dryly and Doyeon gives up on her attempt at being facetious. “Okay. I’m sorry. It just happened.” You raise your brow at her. She sighs. “Okay, so we may have hooked up last year in December. You remember the Christmas party at the Ritz?” 

Your mouth just hangs wider, looking at her incredulously. Every drop of information she lets out just grows your surprise bigger, and you have nothing in substance to say except, “You… whore.” 

Doyeon laughs so loud you worry it might have been heard from the outside, but you wince at the slap that follows on your shoulder as she giggles nonstop. 

“Shut the fuck up, oh my god.” 

“No– I just– Oh my god, was that the reason why you bailed on our own Christmas party over at Nayeon’s?” She nods at your question with her lips pursed. You scoff, still not believing it but just overall amused in general. “You’re really throwing me a curveball here, babe. Like – I have never ever heard you talking about Dr. Kim except when you said you’d totally fuck him in that one drinking session. And then, you actually fucking did.”

She rolls her eyes, scoffing. “He started asking me out on dates in January and he asked me to be his girlfriend in Feb. I don’t even know how it happened. It just did,” She shrugs, as if she just said that the skies are blue. “I’m pretty good at hiding, huh?” 

You don’t hide the way you instantly frown.

“I’m happy for you, Doyeon, I really am. But… did you not feel like you could tell me? Or any of us?”

At least she looks apologetic, nibbling on her bottom lip before she says, “It’s not that, __. I didn’t know how to tell you guys. There’s this – there’s this thing when you date a co-worker, especially in the hospital. He’s an attendant, and he’s about to be chief of surgery next two months, you know that right? And it’s just— I know you will never think it, or the rest of our friends – but I just. I didn’t want anyone to think that I’m… that I’m sleeping my way here, you know? It’s fucking weird. And Ms. Yan from fuckass HR hates me for some reason. I’d be public enemy number one around here, __.”

You wince hearing her explanation. Nodding, you rub her shoulder to offer some kind of comfort, noticing that she’s actually silently fuming just by the mere thought of that. Meaning she must have been thinking about it for quite some time now. 

“But you know we’ll never think of it like that, right?” You confirm with her, just to be sure. You love Doyeon – she’s basically your sister at this point – and you don’t ever want her to feel like she can’t trust you.

“Of course. I don’t… I can’t really offer you any explanation other than I got scared and just wasn’t ready. Joon wants to let people know… and I don’t know. I guess I’m thinking about that too nowadays.” She says, and she’s not really looking at you anymore, seemingly deep in thought.

You begin rubbing her back. “It’s fine if you’re not ready yet.” 

“Oh, this is getting kind of mushy. I hate it.” Doyeon says dryly. You push her slightly which sends her sideways a bit, earning a laugh from her.

“Joon, huh?” You decide to tease to lighten up the mood. Instead of backing down and getting shy like you expected, Doyeon raises her brow. “Can I be honest with you, though?” You say, fiddling with your fingers. She nods so you tread lightly to your next words. “This will sound crazy, I know, but for the longest time I thought Jungkook was your secret boyfriend.”

“What the fuck?” Doyeon says, sharp and almost… disgusted. You don’t expect such a reaction. 

“Okay, you don’t need to sound so disgusted. Jungkook’s a good-looking guy and he’s very decent.” You say, sounding weirdly defensive – even to your own ears.

“No– that’s not what I meant—” Doyeon cuts herself off with a laugh. “That’s actually really funny, though.” You look at her curiously. “Somehow, I thought about you thinking that. Especially after that time at the villa when you walked in on us talking by the pool deck.” 

“I…” you try to come up with an excuse, something to deny her claim, but nothing comes, and your eyebrows knit in confusion because you actually don’t know yourself why you felt that way back then. You still remember the weird feeling that flared up in your chest upon seeing them in such an intimate position — with Jungkook’s head on Doyeon’s stomach and her caressing his head. Maybe you’re more malicious than you let on, but can she really blame you for thinking there was more to that? Besides, Jungkook’s second closest in the group is probably her. It made sense to assume they were secretly together. 

“God, don’t,” Doyeon says incredulously. “Obviously, he’s not my secret boyfriend. I don’t like him and he does not like me, at least not that way. That man only has heart eyes for you and I’m only into Namjoon, thank you very much.” 

You wince. “Sorry.”

“But were you really jealous that time, though?” Doyeon asks, intrigued. “I mean, I thought about it. You were acting weird. But I kind of just shrugged it off.”

“I was not jealous, what the hell,” you quickly say. “I was just surprised. And you’re both really close, so I don’t know.” 

Doyeon arches her brow. “You’re also both close, so going by that logic, are you two together?” You frown at her. She laughs, knowing she proved her point. “Alright, enough about that. How have you been these days?”

You stare at her before sighing.

“I’ve been wanting to say sorry.” 

“Damn straight,” she tells you immediately, like she’s been looking forward to it. “Like, you bitch– I thought you died. Not talking to me or to anybody for a week is crazy.”

“It’s not my proudest moment.” 

“Why?” 

You subtly inhale a shaky breath. “I… to be honest? I thought you guys were mad at me.” 

“What?” You can hear the incredulous tone Doyeon’s taking on. And you slowly realize that you completely just conjured a whole ass narrative in your head the whole time. 

“I know. I feel terrible about it. But I just… I couldn’t help but think that I ruined… things.” 

“Oh…” Doyeon says, and she cranes her neck down to meet your gaze as you’re tucking your head down slightly. “Why did you think that?” 

You open your mouth and close it, trying to find the right words.

“I… know I was completely being ambitious when I said I wanted to bring Mingyu along to the trip – and I realize I shouldn’t have done that. Our relationship was still so fresh, and I was already bringing him along to what was supposed to be our vacation. And the fight happened and the whole thing just went to complete shit. We didn’t even get to spend our five nights there because you guys had to book us a flight immediately and I just… I guess I just feel so bad about it. Had I not invited him… the trip would’ve been way more different. Happier, that I’m sure of.”

“__,” Doyeon calls your name firmly. “That was not any of your fault. Sure, you should’ve consulted with us – because I’m not gonna lie, you threw us in for a surprise when you said that Mingyu was coming, but that fight was not your fault. At all. They physically fought each other on their own accord, even though they knew they were already too grown to be doing that shit. Don’t feel guilty about what those men did.” 

You bite your lip. “Still. They— uhm. They apparently fought because of me. It’s stupid.” 

“Exactly. But… Mingyu kind of deserved it. Sorry.” Doyeon comments. 

You wince. “You know?” 

“Jungkook told us about it, yeah.” Doyeon says, as if hesitant to even mention his name in the conversation. 

You sigh. You’re not really surprised. “Did he… did he tell you guys… everything?” 

“He did.” Doyeon confirms. “It’s not actually new news for us, __.” 

You look confuse when you meet her gaze. “How do you mean?” 

She presses her lips into a thin line. “He’s in love with you. We’ve known for a while,” You stare at her, mouth agape. Doyeon reluctantly adds, “Since med school.”

“Oh.” You close your eyes for a moment. “Even Nayeon?” 

She nods. “Yes.” 

You’re silent for a while before you look away. Nodding, you whisper, “I see,” You sigh. “I don’t even… I’m not even surprised about that. Even my mother knows — I mean, Jungkook didn’t tell her of course, but she said she knew he had feelings for me.”

“I think… everybody knows, __.” Your eyes fall to Doyeon. She gives you a gentle smile. “Everybody who sees the way Jungkook looks at you immediately knows right away. He doesn’t have to tell someone he likes you for them to know that. Taehyung and I figured it out ourselves as well. And then Nayeon met you both and she did the same thing. Just had to fish out the confirmation from Jungkook himself.” 

“That’s…” you trail off, not really knowing what to say. “I’m really stupid for not noticing all this time, huh?”

“Hmm… maybe. Sort of. But also, not really. I guess it must’ve been just different for you. We’re just bystanders of your interactions — when Jungkook teases you like a fucker it’s easy to assume he’s flirting with you, but it must’ve been annoying as hell for you.”

You chuckle a bit. But it’s with fondness as you agree, “Yeah…”

“He sucks ass at flirting.” 

“I agree…” you trail off. “I – well, you probably know, but I told him I don’t believe him,” Doyeon hums, listening in. “I regret saying that. It really hurt him. But… who can blame me, Doyeon? I mean, am I not right for having doubts? Being confused? I mean, okay, yes, I was taken for the first four years we knew each other but I was— I was available two years ago and he didn’t— he didn't do anything. Why didn’t he do anything?” The words are coming off as a rant, you’re fully aware, but you let yourself go, anyway. “He was dating all those women and I just… how am I supposed to believe him when I thought he showed me the opposite?” 

“You mean how were you supposed to believe him when he sleeps around?”

You shut your eyes close. “I don’t– I don’t necessarily think he sleeps around, okay? Jungkook’s not a fuckboy or someone who sleeps with anyone with a pulse. He’s too grown for that shit. But I… I just meant, that… he dated a lot all throughout the time we knew each other, so where was I in the equation? You know what I mean?”

Doyeon stares at you for a bit, then she nods, looking ahead. “I know what you mean.” 

“Yeah?”

She nods. Then, “Are you worried he’s not sincere about his feelings? Because he dated a lot of people?”

“I-I’m not sure about that.” But maybe, that thought bothers you a bit.

“When was the last time he was with somebody?”

You don’t mean to sound defensive when you retort back with, “I wouldn’t know that. Contrary to popular belief, Jungkook and I do not actually talk about everything, and that includes our sex lives, but I know when he’s… seeing somebody.” 

“How?” Doyeon asks, looking at you. She wasn’t trying to trick you into anything, just genuine curiosity written all over her face.

You shy away from her gaze. “Four months ago… Nayeon’s engagement party. He was checking that woman out.”

“Oh… Kwon Jihyo?” 

Your brows furrow. “You know her?” 

Doyeon nods. “Yeah. Physio class back in freshman year. I talked to her at the party as well,” you grow more confused and Doyeon adds, “Also, she’s gay. Married with two kids.” 

“Oh.” 

That earns a chuckle from Doyeon. Tapping your arm, she tells you, “You don’t have a gay radar, it’s fine.” 

“Oh my god…” you slap a hand on your forehead. “I teased him about sleeping with her after the party…” 

You’ve always seen Jungkook as a regular ladies man in your head due to the fact that he gets women, quite very easily. Empirically, Jungkook goes on a lot of dates. But to be completely honest with yourself, you don’t even know the extent of those said dates. Jungkook doesn’t exactly oppose it when you lightheartedly tease him about being a playboy, but you do notice when that puts him off a bit.

Maybe you should’ve pried – maybe he gets put off because it’s simply not true? But you don’t think it’s not not true either, so… do you really think he sleeps around?

“Look,” Doyeon suddenly says which makes you look at her, snapping you out of your own messy thoughts. “I’m not trying to defend him or put in a good word for him or whatever. But I do know that you know him better than I do, so I’m sure you don’t actually think he isn’t sincere about his feelings for you. If you’re worried about his dating history, talk to him about that – but if we’re going by technical definition here, I don’t think Jungkook sleeps around, __. He doesn’t have a new woman switched out for another every seven business days, does he? Or is that a wrong assumption—”

“God, no,” you roll your eyes at her. “And anyway, why are we talking about this? I don’t care who he has sex with. He can do whatever he wants. He’s a grown man.”

“Yeah… but you just said it’s sort of the reason why you’re holding back.”

You feel blood rushing to your cheek because… that is true. You don’t even know why. Because you stand for what you said that he can do whatever the hell he wants. He’s young and he’s objectively attractive and he can have sex whenever he wants…

But somehow, that very thought — of Jungkook being with anybody that way, suddenly made a weird feeling flare up in your chest. You’ve never really paid it mind before, but right now that you now know what you know…

“It just kind of hurts a bit, I guess.” You say, not looking at Doyeon. “I mean, it’s irrational, really. I don’t expect him to be celibate for the eight years he’s claimed to love me, that’s just insane. I’ve also had sex with other people throughout the time and it would be unfair of me to dwell on the fact that he’s been with other people in the past when I also have but… it’s just… you know…” you trail off, and you feel like you’re gonna burst with so much embarrassment from the thoughts running through your head.

“I know… what?” Doyeon says, trying to fill in the gaps.

“I guess I just…” you swallow the lump in your throat. “I guess…. I guess I just expected him to want only me.” 

“Oh.” you look at Doyeon. “Oh wow. That’s…” 

You huff. “It’s childish, I know. It’s so stupid – I can’t think that. It’s unfair for him.”

Doyeon shakes her head. “No, I mean, I get that. I get that completely,” She scoots closer to you. “You have to know, though, that for the past eight years, Jungkook has tried many times to move on from you.” That words felt like a bucket of cold water. He’s tried…? Doyeon gives you a small smile when she notices the way your face fell. “It was really tough for him when you and Eunwoo got serious, but he couldn’t do anything about it. He tried seeing other people, in the hopes that they could make him feel what he does for you. He didn’t do that in vain – like he did it maliciously in hopes that you would get jealous or whatever. He did that – he does that – because he also genuinely wants to be with someone who can reciprocate his feelings. Min Sora was really close… but I don’t really know what happened to that. I’ve assumed since then that he must still probably love you. And he still apparently does, even to this day. I’m not saying all of this in favor of him, okay? But do you not want to give him a chance because of that? He really loves you, __. He admires you a lot. You don’t know how much he’s just in awe of you. He talks about you a lot when you’re not around, and he’d ditch just about anything to get to you with one call. Look… I don’t know what you feel, and at the end of the day, you call the shots. But I think he’s worth it, __. Because I know him as well and everybody knows he’ll treat you right. You just gotta give him the chance.”

You take in Doyeon’s words carefully.

“That’s not really the only thing I’m skeptical about,” you sigh. “Him having slept with other people is not the top of my concern, because we weren’t in any relationship. Again, I couldn’t have expected him to be celibate all this time. What I’m really worried about is the fact that he’s so— he’s so important to me, Doyeon. I’ve known him for eight years and he’s… he’s quite literally the best thing that ever happened to me—” you stop for awhile because you feel your voice breaking, just in time when the sides of your eyes sting with precedent tears. But you can’t cry right now. You’ve done that a lot in the past few days.  “And if— and if I do feel the same, and then we do this thing, what if it all goes wrong? I don’t – I can’t really bear the thought of him not present in my life. I have never considered that ever since I’ve known him. I’m so lucky with my friendships but my romantic relationships all suck. They’re shit. And I don’t want to have a shit romantic relationship with Jungkook, because that would mean I’d lose him. And I don’t want to lose him… do you— do you get me, Doyeon? I’m so scared. Because there's this part of me that wholeheartedly believes what he said, but there’s a bigger part of me that’s in denial because I can’t stop thinking about things going wrong.” 

“Hey,” Doyeon gently calls, and you don’t realize that you’ve been holding back a sob because the moment she scoots closer, arm circling your back, you bury your face in her chest and let out a quiet cry. She cradles your head, and you close your eyes at that. “What if things don’t go wrong, though? What if it works out?” 

You sniffle. “But things always go wrong for me and my boyfriends. I don’t know what I did to deserve it, but they just never end well.” 

Doyeon lets out a heavy breath. “I completely understand that. Again, you know Jungkook better than I do. Better than anybody I know, really. You would know exactly what he’s capable of – and that includes the possibility of him hurting you, or the lack of it thereof. It’s really your choice, __. Just… just talk to him, okay? He’s been wanting to, but you’re not reaching out and he said he didn’t want to suffocate you or anything like that.” 

You quickly perk up at that. “He said that?” Doyeon nods. It makes your shoulders deflate. “But… but we were in the elevator today and he…”

“He what?”

“He… uhm… well I said something stupid,” you wince, wiping the stray tears from your cheeks. “I said I miss him, but he didn’t – I don’t know. He didn’t say anything,” Nibbling on your bottom lip anxiously, you look at Doyeon reluctantly, gauging her reaction. “I think he actually hates me now.”

Doyeon is quiet for a moment before she speaks. “You just… you really have no clue how much he loves you, huh? You can kill a close relative of his and he’ll make excuses for you, I don’t doubt that even for a second,” She says and for a moment you’re a bit offended because you’re getting kind of tired of people pointing out that Jungkook being into you is obvious like how the grasses are green, but Doyeon shakes her head, face in pure disbelief. And you just know she didn’t mean it that way. She genuinely looks baffled. “You really need to talk, __. This is… it really hurts seeing you both like this."  

You tuck your head down. “I’m thinking about it.” 

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah. I think… I’m going back to our place tonight. But I’m not sure. I’ll probably chicken out last minute.” 

Doyeon pats your arm. “Do it, okay? Just be honest with yourself and to him. You both need that.” 

You give her a small, weak smile.

You’re pretty much drained the moment you arrive at your place. Sighing heavily, you punch in the passcode and almost feel your knees buckling at the sight of the interior of your apartment. 

It feels like it’s been so long since you’ve been here, and coupled with the discussion that you had with Doyeon yesterday, everything suddenly feels overstimulating and there’s an urge at the sides of your eyes to cry. 

Swallowing the lump in your throat, you breathe in and out as you enter the threshold, noting the fact that nobody is at home. Or Jungkook isn’t present anywhere in the living room. You’re a bit grateful for that if you have to be honest to yourself – after all, the last time that you talked to him did not exactly go as well as you’d like. 

He could be in his room, though. That’s what you assume as you go straight over to the kitchen in hopes to heat up the take-out that you bought at the driveway. As you leave your phone on the counter, you notice the to-go container from Chipotle on the same surface, as well as the laptop that is left open beside it. 

So Jungkook is home. 

The question is, where could he possibly be, leaving out his stuff here in the kitchen? Might be in his bedroom to grab something real quick? 

You don’t mean to do the next thing that comes to your mind, but your feet – your stupid feet – track back from the microwave to the island, and your eyes betray you as they go look and read the words on the screen of Jungkook’s macbook. 

The tab that shows is an apartment listing website, and besides are more tabs that show some familiar real-estate names you’ve come to on the internet before when you were looking for a place. 

It makes you freeze in your spot, eyes glued to the daunting images of the apartment layout that Jungkook must’ve clicked on awhile ago, and you take note that he’s seemingly, specifically, looking for one-apartment bedrooms and studio apartments. 

Your mind goes into a sudden haywire at the sight. 

What does this mean? 

“Oh, hey,”

The embodied voice makes your head snap to its direction, and you see Jungkook standing in front of you in his sweats and shirt – his usual home clothes – with a charger in his hand. 

“Jungkook.” You say, or more like, breathe out. Your heart feels like it’s somersaulting for some reason at the sight of him. 

But Jungkook looks just as surprised as you. 

“I… I didn’t know you’re coming ho– back.” He says, and there’s a twinge in your heart that you ignore when you caught him pointedly avoiding the word home when pertaining to your place. Somehow, that felt intentional.

But you give him a smile. Probably a weak one. Probably doesn’t really look like a smile at all and more like a grimace. If Jungkook notices, he doesn’t say anything. Just goes straight to the direction of the highchairs on the island and plug in his charger for his laptop. 

Then, he turns to look at you. “Uh... you just got off from your shift?” 

“Yeah. You too?” You say, nibbling your bottom lip with your teeth. A nervous habit. 

“Nah, got off a few hours ago.” 

“Oh. Okay.” 

“Yeah.” 

You nod your head. You stand there for a while, letting the silence that’s admittedly awkward hang in the air. 

It’s weird, really. Jungkook and you usually have a lot to say to each other – but right now, there doesn’t seem to be a single thing you can say to one another. 

It breaks your heart that’s the current case. 

“Well, uhm. That’s Zillow.” You say, pointing to his laptop. The moment the words left your lips you swear you could have slapped yourself. 

How stupid to ask him about it. How incredibly stupid for that thing to be your choice of topic after weeks of no proper communication with him. 

Jungkook seems surprised at this, though, turning his head immediately to look at his own laptop. There’s a certain jerk in his movements when he moves his fingers to the trackpad that closes the entire window of the internet and shows his wallpaper instead. 

“Oh. Yeah. That was… Zillow.” 

Stupid, stupid you makes everything even more awkward when you say, “You’re looking for a place?” 

Jungkook stares at you for awhile. There’s a pregnant pause, and then he nods his head. A bit hesitant. But his voice is full when he speaks. 

“Yeah.” 

So, he’s moving out. That’s what you think as you avoid looking at his face and let your gaze fall back to his laptop. 

You give him a small smile. 

“Ah. Good luck with the search, then.”

Your heart completely breaks when you say the words.

Suddenly, the words of your supposed confession get stuck and they die in your throat. You let yourself believe that coming home tonight would fix everything; you just had to go inside, talk to Jungkook, tell him you were sorry about what you said – and the rest would just do its thing and you'll be back to okay.

But he's moving out, and every bit of hope in you shuts down.

Jungkook doesn’t say anything for a while, and you’re just about to turn on your heels to go to your room but then he utters lowly, almost like a whisper. 

“It’s not final.” 

“Hm?” You hum, not sure if you caught that. 

Rubbing the back of his neck, Jungkook looks away as he says again, “I mean, I’m just looking. I was gonna talk to you before I finalize my plans.”

“Talk to me? Why?”

“Since we’re on a joint lease and all that.” 

“Oh.” You nod to yourself, dumbfounded. It's embarrassing the way you lit up with expectation when he said it wasn't final, for it to completely die anyway when he said that. You feel like you're not wanted. “Yeah. Right.” 

“I assume you’re tired from your shift, though, so maybe we can go over it tomorrow? Or any day you like, really.” Jungkook shrugs. 

“No, tonight’s fine,” You wave your hand, walking towards his direction and seating yourself on the chair beside him. You try to focus all your attention on the screen in front of you instead of Jungkook’s overwhelming presence. You’ve always thought he was big but tonight, he feels even bigger and you’re intimidated. “Are you writing a notice to the landlord?”

“Yeah – I mean, after we talk about the move, that is.” 

“Wow.” You can’t help but let out. “You really thought about all this while I was away?” 

You regret the words just as instantly as they leave your mouth. 

Looking at Jungkook hesitantly, you watch as his face falls, mouth opening and closing, as if at a loss for words. 

You take them back before he says something. “Sorry — I didn’t mean for it to come out that way.” Sharp and edgy, clipped and… angry. Sort of accusatory. Like you’re pinning something bad on him.

“It’s fine.” Jungkook says after awhile, returning back his gaze on the laptop. 

His withdrawal makes you deflate. He seems so uninterested. Is he done with you? Just like that?

“You know what,” You utter after a pregnant pause, standing up from the chair and getting back on your feet. “I actually have a headache. I think we should go over this tomorrow.”

Jungkook looks confused but he nods, anyway. “I just… stocked up on Advil yesterday. So, if you need it… it’s just in the kit.” 

“Sure. Thanks,” You give him a small smile. “I’ll, just go, uh, shower for a bit.” You point to the bathroom across from you. 

Before you go, Jungkook calls your name.

“__.”

You turn around to look at him. “Yes?”

“Are you…” He trails off. You wish he’d look at you like he usually does. “Are you back for good?”

You don’t expect that question at all. But you collect yourself on time to respond. “Yeah. I guess I am.”

Jungkook’s expression is something unreadable, so you throw him an awkward smile. You’re not sure if he returned it, because everything is becoming too much, and you can’t help but overthink every single thing he does. So, before you can dwell on that, you go straight to the bathroom to do your business. 

You shower quickly – you can’t focus when you know that Jungkook is just outside, and he can probably hear the water running. You’ve never really paid thoughts to these stuff except the first few weeks of moving in with him, but right now, there’s a certain awkward tension in the air and it’s slowly suffocating you. You needed to get out of the shower box quick.

And so you did, but you don’t expect the series of knocks on the door, with Jungkook’s voice behind it. 

“__?” 

“Y-yeah?” You stammer, wrapping your towel around you (that Jungkook thankfully hasn’t thrown out yet) with haste and getting to the door immediately to answer him. 

When you open it, Jungkook visibly freezes for a bit. And you realize you’re in nothing but a piece of cotton; bare underneath, droplets of water running through your body from the tips of your uncovered, wet hair. 

You consciously tighten the towel around your body, making sure to act unbothered when you say, “What?” 

Jungkook seems to snap out of the moment just as you did. When you follow the hand that he lifts, you see your phone in it. Weirdly enough, you had time to notice the way the device fits so small in his hand when you can barely wrap your phone around your fingers yourself.

What the actual fuck are you talking about, you tell yourself at the back of your head. What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck—

“You left this on the counter. Mingyu’s been calling you.” 

It’s like you’ve been suddenly hit by a truck upon hearing the name.

“Oh. Okay. Sorry about that.” You take your phone when he offers it to you. You don’t know why but you avoid Jungkook’s eyes as you step out of the bathroom and press the decline button, causing the ringtone to stop abruptly. 

You don’t look back at him as you enter your bedroom, locking the door and throwing your phone on the mattress and going straight to your closet.

Nothing much has changed since the last seven or so days. What would change, anyway? It’s not like Jungkook has some sort of business in here. 

When you finished dressing yourself up with your usual pajamas, a worn-out tee and a pair of short shorts, you go over right to your bed, picking up your phone. 

The notification bar says that you have six missed calls from Mingyu and two texts. An upgrade from his three to four times in the previous days. 

See, it’s not only Jungkook or Doyeon or Nayeon or Taehyung whom you’ve been avoiding. It’s also Mingyu. The last time that you two talked was when you said goodbye to each other when he was catching his flight from the resort. You’ve completely shut everybody out after that thing happened, and again, it’s not your proudest moment. You’re only non-confrontational to a certain degree, but you usually handle your problems like a grown woman. 

You just really don’t know how to handle this one. 

But Mingyu’s been calling, and you haven’t answered or replied to any of his messages ever since. 

It’s just… everytime you think about him… it hurts.

It hurts to think of somebody you’ve given your trust to, only for them to step on it without any remorse. It hurts that you once thought he was going to be the one, only for him to end up as someone you’re starting to… hate. It hurts extremely that just eight days ago, you held this high level of adoration for him, but now you don’t feel anything at all but simmering anger. 

Sighing, you click on his message instead of sliding it out, gearing yourself for what you’re about to read.

gyu😽 [10:15pm]: Dinner at my place tonight? gyu😽 [10:32pm]: Can you pick up my calls?

You scrolled through the other ones he sent in the past week, and you find out that they’re simply just a variation of “do you want to have dinner together tonight”, “why aren’t you picking up?” and shockingly… a couple texts of “i miss you”. 

You’ve only been bullshitting when you told Jungkook that you had a headache, but right now that excuse might be true because you can feel a tick in your head, a certain bang on the front, and you just want all of this to end. 

Letting out a controlled breath, you swallow the lump in your throat as you type a reply. Finally.

You [10:50pm]: Can we talk tomorrow? 

To your surprise, Mingyu responds quickly.

gyu😽 [10:51pm]: of course. dinner?

You [10:52pm]: yeah. i get off at around 8 tomorrow.

gyu😽 [10:52pm]: I have some paperworks to attend to but 8 is fine by me.  gyu😽 [10:53pm]: Can we go to a restaurant? gyu😽 [10:53pm]: I haven’t cleaned my place so I thought we could go outside

You [10:54pm]: It’s alright. Also, no need to pick me up. I’ll uber. 

gyu😽 [10:55pm]: You sure?

You [10:56pm]: Yeah.

gyu😽 [10:56pm]: Alright then.

You don’t get a lot of sleep that night.

“Hey, sorry I’m a bit late. The partners had a meeting over at the firm,” Mingyu says, loosening his tie a little, breathing a bit sharp as he takes the seat across from you. 

You nod, giving him a small smile. Taking a sip from your water, you watch as Mingyu fixes his tie again, some sort of attempt to look kempt, like he hasn’t just run here. He was in a rush, and you feel bad that he had to go over here quickly when the partners meeting was probably something important. He could’ve canceled and you wouldn’t have mind. 

“So. Hi,” Mingyu greets you as if he’s making up for his rash entrance earlier. He gives you a smile, the one that’s his usual charming smile – you remember fawning over it the first time you met him. “How have you been?”

“Fine. I’ve been doing well.” you answer. In your lap, your fingers fiddle with each other.

You’ve thought about how you are going to go over this, but obviously the scenarios that played in your head yesterday and before you went here were so much more different than now. You weren’t an anxious mess in your imagination.

Mingyu nods. “That’s good to hear. Been doing fine as well.” He says casually. 

That makes something flare up in your chest.

Fine? He’s been doing fine? 

Before you can say something, a waiter comes up to your table to give you the menu, and that effectively keeps you from saying the words you were probably going to regret as soon as they come out of your mouth. 

You both tell your respective orders to the waiter before he walks away, leaving you two nodding and smiling ahead. When he’s gone, you’re left alone with Mingyu again. 

You look at him — and his usual suits and tie ensemble would usually make you gush internally about how good he looks, how you can still see the way he’s built under the pristine fabric of his clothes, and how attractive he is the way he carries himself. 

“I’m glad you called me tonight, sweetheart.”

And you don’t expect the way the hairs on your body tingle with… ick. 

“Sure.” You say, drinking from your glass of water again.

Just get over it, your mind convinces you. But how are you going to approach it?

Moments pass and then suddenly, Mingyu lets out a heavy breath. You peer up at him, raising a brow. 

“Alright, I’m not gonna skirt around this anymore, __,” He says, and his eyebrows are knitted in what seems like confusion when he meets your gaze. “What’s going on with you? You’ve been avoiding me.”

The confrontation somehow eases you even though it shouldn’t.

Licking your bottom lip – an anxious habit that you try hard to forgo – you compose yourself before you say, “I have. Yes, you’re right.”

“Why?” Mingyu asks with genuine curiosity. 

Somehow, this bothers you. Does he really not know or he’s just pretending not to know? Whichever it is, it does not really make you feel any better about him. If he’s pretending not to know, then he’s an even bigger asshole than you’re letting him on, but if he does not know, then that’s just even worse. Imagine doing all of those things and not being aware that you did something wrong enough to upset people? 

“I have to be completely honest with you, Mingyu. I want to break up.” 

The words come out easily as opposed to what you expected. 

Somehow, it’s strange, really. You’ve never dumped anybody before. Of course, you don’t count those casual dates you’ve had in the past two years because they were never that serious. But usually, in your long relationships, the other guy does the dumping and never you. 

So, right now, as you sit across from Mingyu, finally declaring what you’ve been thinking over the past week, you feel a sense of liberation. A cliché, really. There’s a feeling of discomfort gnawing at some parts of you, but you choose to ignore it, bravely meeting his gaze instead. 

“What?”

“I want to break up with you.” You reiterate, this time fuller so he knows your decision is final.

His mouth opens and closes, and there’s a pregnant pause that hangs in the air before he finds his tongue. “But why?” 

“Are you serious?” You can’t help but snap. “Do you really not know?” 

“No. Fill me in, because I’m confused.” Mingyu doubles down, and it fires you up a little bit. 

“Mingyu, Jungkook told me everything,” You say, and you notice the way his expression changes into something more… unreadable the moment you dropped Jungkook’s name. “And I mean everything. What you did with his girlfriend back in college, and what you said about me to goad him into a fight. I mean, what were you thinking, Mingyu? All of that was just… low. Even for you. I can’t believe you’d do any of that.” You catch your breath after you say the words, not realizing how heavy it would feel to let them out. You’ve never been confrontational, would prefer if the other person did all the talking, and to do this right now is taking so much from you.

“He told you everything?” Mingyu asks again. You watch as he relaxes his posture, and you grow confused when his lips curl into a smirk. “I knew he would do that. Come crying to you with his lovesick head. Did he finally grow some to tell you he loves you, then?” 

You recoil, not expecting that. “That’s none of your business.”

“It is my business. You’re my girlfriend.”

“I’m not anymore.”

Mingyu inhales a sharp breath. “So, you’re choosing him?” 

“I—I— what?” you blurt out, surprised at his audacity. “I’m not choosing anybody. And it’s really bold of you to assume that you’re still one of my options after all that.” 

Scoffing, Mingyu drinks from his water. He looks at you with a blank stare as he says, “Well, be honest with me now. Do you love him?” 

“Do I love him?” You chuckle, not the least bit of humor in it. “You don’t really deserve my honesty, Mingyu. You had all of those four months to be honest with me and you didn’t do shit. Don’t ask me any personal questions and expect me to give you an honest answer. Because I won’t give you any of it.” 

“You said a lot of things but I know you love him just as much as he loves you.”

“What are you talking about?”

This time, Mingyu’s tone borders on sharp when he leans down to get to you closer so you can hear him clearly. “You think it was easy for me to be in a relationship with you when all you could talk and think about was Jungkook? Jungkook who was only supposedly your bestfriend?” It’s said with so much wrath that you can’t help but physically recoil at his words. When you don’t say anything, Mingyu continues, “Jungkook told me this movie’s good, Jungkook said their aglio e olio tastes great, Jungkook and I were just talking about this — I could go on how many times you’ve always managed to insert him in anything even when we’re together, but I did not want to be that kind of boyfriend who got jealous over their girl’s friends, and I was that for you – and you think I’m the bad guy here?”

You blink, mouth opening and closing. You fish for some words, something to defend yourself with. Have you really said all that? Did you really do that? Did you really talk about Jungkook enough times that Mingyu took notice of it? 

You’ve always thought that your friendship with Jungkook is platonic. You’ve convinced yourself of that and Jungkook seemed to think the same — at least that’s what you thought prior to his confession – and you like to think that your friendship works, even though the majority of people don’t agree that opposite genders can be purely friends.

But… did you think wrong? Did you really just convince yourself it was platonic when all along… it was not? 

You don’t exactly recall the moments that you talked about him while you were with Mingyu. It’s hard to when talking about Jungkook just comes like second nature. You don’t count the times you see the grass being green – because they are and will always be green. 

And that’s what Jungkook is to you. He’s been such a constant presence in your life that you can’t help but bring him up in any case because… because it just feels right to do so.

Now you think about your relationship with Eunwoo. How he never really liked Jungkook. Did he think the same as Mingyu? Did you also talk about your best friend too much in his presence? Did he count the times you mentioned Jungkook’s name in your conversations? Do you really talk so much about him?

“See?” Mingyu says after a while and it snaps you out of your stupor. “Don’t tell me I’m a liar when you’ve also been lying to me this whole time.” 

“How dare you?” You snap at him. You can take him pointing out about the thing with Jungkook, but never this. “I didn’t hide anything from you. I was not the one with the history of cheating with their friend’s girlfriend and I didn’t talk behind your back like you’re merely just a piece of meat.” 

Mingyu visibly stills and you bite your lip after saying the words. You didn’t mean for it to come out that way. Didn’t really mean to say that in the first place. But it’s done and you can’t cry over spilled milk. 

Doesn’t negate the fact that you feel like shit, though.

“You think I didn’t regret what I did?” Mingyu says, a little quiet this time. If you weren’t at the quieter part of the restaurant, in a booth where the sound of the classical music and people’s chatters are muffled, you won’t hear him at all. “Jungkook and I were close, __. We really were. And I fucked up and ruined his trust. But you also don’t know how and why that happened. Jiyeon was already cheating on him before she hit on me–” 

“Oh, so is that the part where you volunteered to be one of her “victims”, too?” You say sarcastically, cutting him off, incredulous about the fact that he’s really trying to make excuses for himself right now. 

“We were fucking drunk– and high, okay? We didn’t know what we were doing.” Mingyu says through his teeth, and it’s the first time you see him lose control. He’s always so kempt and so composed, it’s baffling you’re seeing him in this state.

But you refuse to believe his bullshit. 

“You know what, I don't know why you’re saying this to me. You should be saying this to Jungkook and frankly, I simply don’t care. What happened back then is between you – don’t include me into any of your arguments ever again,” You say exasperatedly. “My issue is that – and why I’m breaking up with you in the first place – is that you lied to me, Mingyu. You lied to me about so much. And If I were to go through this relationship with you longer, I don't know what else you’re going to lie to me about, and I don’t want that. Let’s not waste each other’s time and end it right here, right now.” 

Mingyu leans back on his seat. “I can’t change your mind even if I apologize to you about that, huh?”

You shake your head.

He nods. 

“Alright.” 

You look at him again.

Kim Mingyu has sharp features that usually make him look broody from an outsider perspective, but you’ve seen the way he smiles and how gentle he looks when he does. Right now, though, he looks… genuinely sad. 

He lied to you, yes, but somehow, there’s still some part of you that wants to know if he felt the least bit genuine about you. That it wasn’t all just a ploy to get to Jungkook. 

“Did you really like me? Even for a moment?” You break the silence, voice breaking slightly at the end. 

Mingyu looks up at you and you don’t expect the way his lips curl up into a small smile. “Yes, __. I did. I liked you the first time we met and believe it or not, I still have feelings for you right now.”

You look away to avoid his intense gaze. 

It’s weird. It’s so weird. Because even though you know in your heart that he’s not and will never be good for you and that he’s not a loss, your heart still aches at the declaration. 

“I don’t really know if I believe that.” You say, almost like a whisper. 

“I’m sorry, then.” Mingyu says, and it sounds so sincere that you start to feel some sort of stinging in both sides of your eyes.

In what seemed like forever, the waiter arrives with your orders, and you both look up and offer him a hand in placing them on your table, bidding him thanks as he once again walks away. 

You and Mingyu both look at your food. 

“I think I’m going first. I have a trial tomorrow, so I need to take care of that.” He says suddenly. 

Nibbling your bottom lip, you watch as he begins to fix his shirt, ready to stand up. 

“Okay.” 

“__?” You look up at him when he calls your name. He seems to hesitate for a bit, but he says, “Can you… can you tell Jungkook I’m sorry?” 

Staring at his face, you try to look for a hint of sarcasm. Or anything indicative of malice. But all you see is sincerity. 

At that, you shake your head. “No.” Mingyu’s face falls. “Talk to him yourself if you really are sorry. I’m not your mailman, Mingyu.” 

He sighs. “Alright. I guess you’re right,” And then, “And I’m saying sorry, to you too, you didn’t deserve that. I was angry, and that’s not an excuse. So, I’m sorry. Will you…” he clears his throat. “Will you ever forgive me?”

You shrug. “I don’t know. Probably.” 

Mingyu gives you a timid smile. “Okay.” 

When he takes out his wallet and a black card from there, you instantly stop him from calling over the waiter. 

“No, it’s fine, I’ll take care of it. I’m the one who invited you here.” You say, talking him out of paying. 

He shakes his head, insisting, “It’s okay.”

“Seriously, I can handle it.” 

Mingyu lets out a chuckle which makes you smile a bit before you scold yourself. 

“I know. But can you let me? This is… this is probably the last time we’ll see each other.” 

At that, you relax back in your seat, staring at him. He stares right back at you. 

With a slow nod, you let him call over the waiter.

He departs with a small goodbye that you return with a timid wave. 

When you go home that night, you cried yourself to sleep, thankful that Jungkook hasn’t come home from his shift yet.

Things are… fine. 

Unlike your previous break-ups that left you in agony for the following days after it happened, the one with Mingyu did not really leave a huge emotional impact. It makes you wonder if you’ve overestimated your feelings for him… makes you question yourself if you really thought he was the one when things were fine, and you both dated happily. 

You don’t bother yourself looking for answers, because the relationship is done and there’s no point in going over the details when it’s you yourself who ended the ties. 

While that is not the sole reason of your melancholic feeling these days, it lies on another person; your roommate, Jungkook – your best friend of eight years who’s apparently been in love with you the whole time. 

It’s only been a few weeks ever since you talked about him moving out. He said it was about time for him to leave the place – he’s been here longer than you, after all. He wrote and sent the notice to his landlord, and it’s been about two weeks since then, so you assume he’s already got his approval. 

While things may look normal and right from an outsider’s perspective… things aren’t exactly the way they were before.

Jungkook and you are close. You share almost everything together. Your friendship has been honed throughout the many years and obstacles you’ve faced together and so it’s only natural for you two to be as close.

But nowadays… you can feel that closeness slipping away. It flares up something inside you; like that feeling of grief when you remember that friend in highschool who you stopped talking to after graduation. You don’t know exactly what the reason is for the abrupt end of communication, but the finish line is there and you’ve both reached it without the other knowing – and you’re left fending for yourselves, looking ahead at your own worlds and letting your lives flow to the stream of the river. 

It’s strange, really; how everything feels somewhat normal but also really under that condition. 

Jungkook and you would text each other nonstop – he could be in his own room, and he’d still text you about random shit that ends up with him going to your room anyway just to annoy you for a bit before you kick him out and you both go to sleep. He’d ask to borrow something – anything, ask your food preference for the night, and he’d always ask you when your shift ends so you can go together if your schedules align. Meanwhile, you ask him to join you in the living room for spontaneous movie nights, ask him to give you a massage, and you’d both talk about your days, catching up on the hours you weren’t together.

And now there’s none of that. 

Now, you both greet each other when the other one gets home almost like a chore. Like how your roommate from college used to welcome you when you arrived at the dorm from classes. When either you or he is in the living room or something, you’d both tell each other that “Dinner’s in the fridge, you can microwave it”, instead of “What do you think we should have for dinner?”. Jungkook asks if you need a ride to the hospital because he knows you don’t have a car anymore, but you refuse because it’s obvious it’s just for formality. 

You don’t know if it’s just the overthinker in you, but it feels like Jungkook’s pulling back and he has no intention of making things right – or talk about what happened. 

He’s so… he’s so civil.

And you miss him so much it makes you sad.

It makes you confused. Sort of mad. He makes you feel a lot of things – but you hate that you’ve just been compartmentalizing and not doing any processing at all. 

You spent the past few weeks pointing out to yourself the differences that your relationship is going through. You spend some nights beating yourself up whether to go barge in his room and confront him with everything – but you do none of that. 

Instead, you pretend everything’s okay. At the hospital, you’ve no longer avoided him and said hi which he returns with a smile. Nayeon, Taehyung, and Doyeon, thought at first that everything’s back to normal, but you know they’re slowly realizing that it has not. 

Tonight, though, at Nayeon’s reception party after her wedding, you try hard to ignore all those angsts and choose to enjoy yourself instead. It’s Nayeon’s big day. The last thing you wanted to be was a bum.

Everybody is socializing with each other, and since you’ve had your fair share of conversations with other people at this point, you choose to sit out on the dance.

Suddenly, Billy Joel’s Uptown Girl is playing and the majority coos and exclaims in excitement as they hurry to the dancefloor, some taking their partners along with them.

“Look, they’re playing your favorite song.” 

Your head snaps to the side in reflex to see who it was, only to see Jungkook. Words get caught in your tongue for a moment, a bit surprised to see him. You mean – sure, he’s been here for a while. It is Nayeon’s wedding, after all, but weirdly enough, you two haven’t shared a conversation yet throughout the day. 

Until now, anyway.

Recovering from your initial surprise, you scoot over to the side, giving him space to maybe… sit beside you? 

“That’s not my favorite song.” You scoff, sipping on your champagne right after, looking right ahead as you feel Jungkook situating himself on the chair beside you.

“Oh… has it changed now?” Jungkook says, and there’s a lilt of teasing tone to it that you look at him in wonder. 

Meeting his gaze, you find he’s just smiling at you. He’s in an off-white tux, a lily pinned on his chest pocket. He’s done his hair in that usual way he cleans up for formal events like this, gelled and parted slightly off center to show off his forehead. It’s slightly longer than you’ve last noticed it looked, and you think he hasn’t been trimming it… 

Nonetheless, he looks simply put… dashing. 

“I change my favorite song every five to seven business days,” you say coolly. “Anyway, why aren’t you there?” you point to where the flock of people is having a ball to Billy Joel.

Truthfully, you kind of wish you were there as well. You’ve always danced to that song in your room or in the shower.

“I’m right where I want to be,” Jungkook shrugs. “Why aren’t you there?” 

You lie, “I’m right where I want to be as well.” 

He hums. “You don’t want to show them your moves?” 

You look at him in disbelief, gawking at him. “Are you teasing me?” 

Jungkook widens his eyes, but you know he knows what you’re talking about, and it sounds like he’s trying to keep from laughing when he says, “No. I just happen to know you’re a great dancer.” 

With that, you feel yourself getting carried away by how easily your conversation goes. It makes you think about the old times – where talking to him always made your day because he's funny and he makes you laugh and you make him laugh.

“Fuck off. You know very well I have two left feet.” You chuckle, shaking your head at him.

“Wasn’t the case when you were dancing inside a boiler room during med school at that rave party we went to, but okay.”  

You can’t help but laugh louder, and with that, you jab a lighthearted slap to his bicep without thinking too much of it. 

“I told you that never happened.” 

“Oh…” Jungkook puts down his champagne and cocks his head to the side. “What happened?” 

You giggle. Yes, giggle. Like a schoolgirl. And you watch as Jungkook joins in your laughter, taking the glass close to his face to sip from it. 

Then: “You wanna dance?” Jungkook suddenly says, but he’s looking at the dancefloor. 

“Hm. Dunno. Uptown Girl isn’t exactly rave music.” 

That earns you a chuckle from Jungkook. “But it’s fun music, right?” 

Soon after, he stands up from his seat. You look at him questioningly, but he mirrors it back with an expectant gaze and a raised brow. Seeing you getting apprehensive, he offers his hand and that’s when you roll your eyes, taking his hand as you pretend to stand up against your will and follow him to the crowd.

You chuckle as Jungkook suddenly sways his hips to the upbeat of the song, moving his arms around playfully. You’d like to think he’s doing that intentionally – to make you laugh? Loosen up? Whatever the idea behind it, it’s effective, because you can’t stop laughing as you watch him. 

“Come on, we do this all the time!” Jungkook says over the loud music and people’s candid chattering.

And he’s not wrong because you do have mini parties in the living room of your apartment, pretending like the city before the glass wall across the area is your audience. 

But you two are usually drunk during those moments, and right now, with only one glass of champagne, you’re not near being tipsy. 

“This is so silly!” You exclaim, but you find yourself matching Jungkook’s spontaneous choreography, and it earns you a laugh from him as well. 

“And when she’s walking, she’s looking so fi-i-ne,” Jungkook sings along, gesturing to you. You cover your face because you can’t stop laughing at how he looks – how you two must look – but you’re almost sure nobody’s paying attention because everybody is just having fun on their own. He has a good voice, though – even though he’s trying to act goofy with it. Jungkook doesn’t like when people point it out, or more like, gets shy when you bring it up. 

Suddenly, he steps closer to you and reaches for your hand. Looking at him with confusion, still with that wide grin on your face, he gives you a playful smile before he guides your arm upwards. You utter a sound of a delighted snort, understanding where he’s getting at. With Jungkook guiding you, you do a mildly successful turn that makes you both laugh because as you were just getting back in your original position, you almost trip. Good thing that Jungkook’s there to catch you by the waist, the contact only lasting for a brief second before he lets go to dance on his own again. 

“I wish I was an uptown girl!” You yell over the music.

“You’re kinda an uptown girl if you think about it.” Jungkook responds, nodding his head as if he believes that. 

You chuckle, shaking your head at him. “No.” 

“Yes, you are. You’re sophisticated and elegant.”

“Well, this—” you point between your bodies, “– is not very sophisticated and elegant of me.” 

“Touché.” Jungkook laughs.

“But will you be my downtown man?” You say, not really thinking too much about it but then you suddenly realize what you just said and you’re about to add something to it – like putting a disclaimer that it was just a joke. 

But then Jungkook leans closer, ducks down to level with your ear. “I can be if you want me to.” 

The song ends and you barely had time to process what just happened before the soft piano progression of Carole King’s Will You Love Me Tomorrow begins to play. 

You hear the collective “Aww”s from the audience and you watch as everybody suddenly pairs up with someone else. As the first lyric of the song is sung, you can feel the upbeat energy from earlier dropping to a calmer atmosphere. Romantic, you’d say it is.

When you look at Jungkook again, he has a small smile on his face. It’s as gentle as the piano behind the song. 

“Can I?” He says. 

You nibble on your bottom lip. “You want to?”

Jungkook only nods, still smiling.

“Only if you want to as well.” 

You look around again. It’s not hard to spot Taehyung from afar on the dancefloor as well, with a gorgeous Hyerin in his arms. He doesn’t seem to notice you looking, though, but you watch the way he ducks down to whisper something in her ear, prompting a laugh from her. 

Putting your gaze back to Jungkook, you blink as you say, “It’s… okay, I guess.” 

“Okay?” Jungkook clarifies. You nod your head and he smiles that dashing smile again before he steps closer to you.

Slowly, he puts a hand around your waist. And you know he did it awhile ago, but the contact ended so briefly that you didn’t really have the chance to… somehow… savor it, maybe? But right now, as you fumble with your own hand, deciding whether or not you should put a hand on his waist as well, the proximity makes your breath hitch. 

Your heart beats abnormally fast against your ribcage, and usually, it’s not hard to stare Jungkook in the face – but you find it a difficult task to do nowadays. 

Jungkook, unsuspecting of your inner dilemma, only seems to notice your confusion with your hand placement, chuckling as he guides your wrist to his shoulder. He raises his other arm with yours and interlocks your fingers with his mid-air.

“There,” Jungkook says once you’re in the right position. “Now we look like professional dancers.” 

You wince. “What’s the next step?” 

“You’re taking this very seriously,” Jungkook snorts as he begins to move his feet. 

You try to match his pace, and that distracts you from the fact that you're so close you can smell his cologne very well. 

“Where did you learn this?” You ask instead, quite amazed at how Jungkook is approaching this. It’s not like you’ve never slow danced in your life – but you weren’t kidding when you said you have two left feet. 

“Wikihow.” 

“Wow.” 

“They can be super reliable at times,” Jungkook chuckles as he continues to swing you both gently. “Stop looking down.” 

You groan. “Ugh, no. I’m trying very hard not to not step on you.”

“So what if you step on me? Just relax.” 

Jutting your bottom lip out, you look up at him. “My heels are Louboutin.” 

“Even better.” 

“Stop.” You break away from his hold with your other hand to jab at his chest lightly. Jungkook lets out an “Owe!” but you know it didn’t actually hurt when he just grins down at you, placing his hand on your waist instead so now he’s just… simply holding you.

You ignore the weird feeling in your chest at the action, choosing to keep your hand on his chest. 

“You wanna know something?” You whisper. Jungkook hums. “I didn’t go to prom in highschool.” 

“What? Why?” Jungkook genuinely seems surprised to hear that.

You smile sadly, looking back at the memory bitterly. “Changsub and I were fighting around that time because I saw him at the mall with some girl the previous week. I was so angry that I didn’t care about what I’d be missing out on. My mom tried really hard to get me to attend, but I was very stubborn. Now I still regret not going to prom. My dress was really pretty back then too but I didn't even get to wear it.” 

“Damn,” Jungkook utters. “He really was such a dick to you, huh?” 

“Yeah. But it was still on me, though… I can’t believe I let a boy make me miss out on prom night.” You pout.

Jungkook’s quiet for a while before he abruptly stops his swaying. You look at him in confusion as he lets go of your waist. 

“Well, I don’t have a corsage… but this can maybe do?” He fumbles with his chest first before he takes out the silk lavender handkerchief from his suit’s pocket that matches his tie and the lily on his chest. He looks at you for a while before he takes your wrist in his hand. Your brows knit together as he ties the fabric around your wrist, making sure to finish it up with a ribbon – an attempt at a ribbon, that is. 

You chuckle. “What’s this?” 

Jungkook grins. “You wanna know something too? I didn’t have a date on prom night – was too scared to ask anybody out. I went home after the first hour. Wasn’t really a fond memory. So, prom night definitely sucked for me… what I’m saying is that, it’s not really all that.” 

You duck your head down to laugh, partly to hide the flutter in your heart at his words.

“So, like, is this our – what – our upgraded prom night?” 

Jungkook nods proudly. He takes both your hands as you laugh, wrapping them around his neck, taking you by the waist again. 

This time, you don’t feel like your breath is being taken away.

You feel… serene. The beating of your heart is back to normal. You realize, there’s a sense of comfort that comes from being close to him like this – talking and laughing like good old times. 

You miss him. You miss him so much and you can’t believe you ever considered accepting a life without him in it. 

“The dress looks good on you, by the way,” Jungkook comments, and it sounds so sincere that you can’t help but smile. As if that wasn’t enough to melt your heart, he adds, “And you look really beautiful.” 

“T-thanks,” you stammer, taken aback at the almost intimate way he looks right into your eyes as he said that. You tighten your hold around his neck. “You don’t look so bad yourself.” 

“Thank you.” 

You both chuckle, though there was nothing really funny said in particular.

Carole King’s gentle voice soothes you as Jungkook takes the lead of the dance. You’re not even doing anything other than just going with the flow, letting him take you wherever. There’s a moment when you were sure you stepped on his shoe, but Jungkook’s quick to dismiss you with a hush and saying it was nothing. 

Tonight with words unspoken,

You say that I’m the only one

But will my heart be broken,

When the night meets the morning sun

You scoff as you finally hear the lyrics.

That may have taken a hit on you. 

“This is so stupid.” You say.

Jungkook’s quick to react.

“Rude. I’m literally giving you a prom night from scratch.”

You look at him and you feel bad because he genuinely seems offended at your supposedly throw-away comment.

Shaking your head, you tap his chest lightly. “No, no. I mean– the lyrics. The song.”

Jungkook arches a brow. “I have a video of you crying over this song in your car when it came up on your playlist.” 

“I didn’t cry over this song.” You roll your eyes. 

“Not as much as you did over Silver Springs, anyway.” 

“Oh my god, why do you know so much, Jesus,” you hiss, embarrassed at being confronted by your dramatic antics. “I just meant, why are they playing such a sad song at a wedding? Who approved this?” 

“Eh,” Jungkook shrugs. “Maybe Nayeon’s a Carole King fan.” 

“Is she?” you ask, genuinely curious. If she is, she never told anybody.

“Maybe…?” 

You can’t help but laugh because of how the conversation progressed. Jungkook laughs as well, and he takes the jab you send to his chest with a light hand. They’re really hard, you think, and you don’t know what comes over you as you lean your head down and let your body fall towards him, laying your cheek on the lapel of his suit. It’s warm.

You feel Jungkook stilling in his position at your sudden action, but soon enough, he does nothing to pry you off like you feared for a moment he would, tightening his arms around your waist and swinging you both in that kind of laxed way. 

Shutting your eyes close, you let the soft melody of the song ease your nerves, basking in Jungkook’s presence and his familiar scent. 

You stay like that for a while, and just when the song is coming to an end, you feel Jungkook’s breathe in your ears, his lips almost brushing to the tips of your ears when he says, “I’m sorry I didn’t say anything back then, but I really miss you too.” 

You drank more champagne than you anticipated and it’s why you wobble your way into the bathroom to do some half-ass retouch. Just as when you were putting away your make-up, Nayeon comes out from one of the cubicles. 

“Hey, you gorgeous, gorgeous girl,” She says with a huge smile, now changed into a much simpler dress, in contrast to her voluminous one earlier.

You mirror her grin, opening your arms wide to engulf her in a hug. “Hi to you too. Congrats again on the wedding. I’m so incredibly happy for you. You and Minhyuk are perfect.” 

When Nayeon breaks apart from your hug, she looks at you closely. “I saw you with Jungkook earlier. Lots of people saw you two earlier.” 

“What?” 

“I mean… slow dancing to Will You Love Me Tomorrow in a weirdly intimate way was kind of insane, if you ask me.” 

“Oh, uhm…” you feel blood rushing to your cheeks as you grow embarrassed at the thought of people catching you in that position. You remember after the song ended, you made up some excuse about going to the bathroom to pee and you did – but you pointedly tried to stay out of Jungkook’s sight ever since.

One step forward, three steps back.

“How are you two by the way?” 

“We’re fine.” You say, giving her a reassuring smile. 

Nayeon stares at you for a moment. Then, she sighs. “You’re not, are you?”

“No, we really are. We’re– we’re talking, right?” You point out.

“But… he’s moving out of your place.”

“Well, he needs a change of scenery. He’s been there for four years so he must be tired living there.” 

Nayeon stares at you again and when you look at her face, your heart twinges as you see the disappointment written all over her features. 

“I don’t understand you both, really. You have this… this beautiful thing going on and you’re choosing to ignore that? It’s obvious that you feel something for him, __. Just be honest with him and see where it goes. I know you two are pretending that everything’s fine but you’re both hurting each other and you’re acting like it’s nothing – it’s all just unnecessary angst at this point. What are you two doing?” Nayeon asks. 

“I…”

“Come on, __. Do you really want to let each other go? Do you really want to drift apart? Because it’s been almost a month of pussyfooting. And I don’t know if you’re just expecting that your luck is not gonna run out, but it is going to. And I know you’re going to regret it.” 

You stare at Nayeon while listening to her words. You don’t expect the sharp edges to her voice. You’ve always thought that if someone was going to call you out on your bullshit – it was going to be Doyeon. She’s the bluntest in the group and would not hesitate to tell someone if they’re being a bitch or not – so you don’t expect Nayeon to be like this at all because she’s always been a soft-spoken sweetheart.

It's not like Doyeon hasn’t been harsh, either, though. You had a drink with her and Taehyung a month ago and let’s just say she kind of ranted about you feeling like you’re in a romcom or something. 

She shuts her eyes close, and you can just feel her frustration emanating. “I’m sorry – I know I’m being harsh right now. But I just can’t bear seeing you two like this. I just got married today and I feel like I’m learning and realizing so much right now and one of those is that I’m extremely lucky to have found someone I’m so sure of, and while Minhyuk was saying his vows I looked back at my past relationships and just thought that… that I’m so glad I was finally at that point and… and right now I can’t stop thinking about you two,” Nayeon sighs. “You two love each other so much. Everybody can see it. Why are you both running away from each other? What gives?” 

You look away.

You both do love each other. They are right.

And while you can’t exactly say if what you feel for Jungkook right now bounds in being in love – there’s quite literally only one thing in the world that you’re certain of, and it’s that he’s the most important person to you – the only one you can think of spending a lifetime with and not get sick of it.

And that was something.

But…

“Because it’s scary.” You say, finally.

“What’s scary?”

You inhale a sharo breath.

“For eight years I’ve always thought that we were only platonic. But somewhere in my head I always thought that he was my soulmate, you know? I thought about us ending up together and I remember liking that thought. But years went by, and nothing ever happened and I swear I was happy with Eunwoo but you know what I’m ashamed of all this time that I never told anybody?” Your vision of Nayeon gets blurry as you begin tearing up. “I think… I have been in denial for so long. I think… I think I secretly looked for a part of Jungkook in Eunwoo and I think Eunwoo knew that. I think everybody who I’ve ever been with knew that except for myself. Because I was in denial. Even right now, I’m still in denial. You don’t know how – you don’t know how strange it is to suddenly wake up and realize that you don’t see your friend as a mere friend anymore. You don’t know how hard it is to overthink things – like what if it doesn’t work out and everything falls apart? Our friendship is so important to me, I hold it in the highest regard, and I don’t want anything to ever go against it. But now I’m doing that myself and I just… I hate it. But I don’t know what to do. Jungkook’s moving out just like it seems like he’s moving on and I’m scared that I’m too late to do anything.” 

Your speech leaves Nayeon’s mouth agape, clearly not expecting your outburst. But she recovers quickly. She steps closer in front of you, and in a second, engulfs you in a hug. 

“I’m sorry,” you sniff, making sure to not let your tears fall down her dress. “I think I’ve been keeping that for a long time.”

“It’s okay… I’m glad you said that.” 

“Yeah… I think I’m glad too,” you both chuckle. 

“__?”

You hum.

“Just talk to Jungkook. If you’re worried about him moving out, he’s not. I can tell you that much.” 

You break the hug and look at Nayeon. “Nayeon, he literally has everything packed. I think he’s leaving early in the morning tomorrow.”

Nayeon fixes a strand of stray hairs from your hair framing your face. “Hm. He has?” You nod. “Well, as I said, he’s not leaving. Trust me. But you have to tell him everything that you told me just now. Be honest, __. It feels scary right now but, try to take a leap of faith, okay? This is not some toxic positivity shit or anything like that, but just be honest, alright?” 

Nibbling on your bottom lip, you look at her hesitantly. “Are you… are you sure?” 

Nayeon nods, and she looks so sure of herself that it may have fired up a little bit of hope in you. 

The party is still ongoing, but you decide that it’s time for you to clock out. After you bid your goodbyes to Nayeon and her now husband, to Doyeon and to Taehyung, you head out of the venue to try and book a taxi. You couldn’t find Jungkook earlier at the party, so you decided to send him a text that says you were going home. 

“Need a ride?” 

The ever-familiar voice expectedly appears to be Jungkook when you look at him. 

“Hey,” you greet. “No. I was just about to book an Uber.” 

Jungkook’s brows furrow. You think he looks handsome under the moonlight. “We can ride together in my car. I’m going home as well.”

“N-no, no, ‘s really fine,” you wave your hand, emphasizing your point. 

Jungkook grows more confused. Then: “Are you drunk?” 

You wince, hating that he instantly knows right away. 

“Sorta, kinda…” 

“And you want to Uber?” You pout. You hear him scoff. “There’s no way I’m leaving you alone in this state. Okay, let’s get you to my car.” 

“I’m fine, really,” you say but it sounds whiny even to your ears. 

“You can be stubborn all you want. But in the passenger’s seat.” Jungkook gives you a sharp stare, but his hold on your wrist is gentle as he guides you to the parking lot. 

He wears the seatbelt around your waist and lets you settle on your seat, rounding the car to get behind the wheel right after. You look away. You thought he'd be more... not nice to you since you just left him earlier with a poor excuse.

You feel guilty. So guilty. Jungkook is so... he makes you feel so loved but you're just... so confused. You're so scared it doesn't even make sense.

When he starts the engine, he asks, “Why did you drink so much?” 

It's easy to ignore the heavy thoughts in your head when you're half-asleep at this point.

“I dunno. The champagne was so good… I bet it was probably expensive. I can’t have that much free stuff until –” you stop, as if remembering something, sitting upright. “When is Taehyung’s wedding?” 

“He doesn’t have a wedding, ba—__. He hasn’t proposed to Hyerin yet.” 

You slump in your chair hearing that. 

“Why? They’re so perfect together… they should marry…” You say before dropping back down to your seat again. The AC in Jungkook’s car whirrs softly in your ear, and when you look to the side, you find yourself staring at his side profile.

He’s taken off his white coat, now left with a white shirt and his purple tie. He’s pushed the sleeves up to his forearms, showing the veins all over them.

“Jungkook.” you call him.

“What is it?” He says, momentarily looking at you before focusing back on the road.

“Can I…” you look at his hand. You sniff. “Can I hold your hand?”

Well, he does not expect that at all. But he smiles anyway, taking off one hand on the wheel and reaching for your own hand over the center console. You watch the way his huge palm dwarfs your own, and you almost sigh in relief when he laces his fingers with yours, squeezing your hand as he rests it over his thigh.

The last thing you hear is Jungkook’s soft chuckle before you completely drift off to sleep. 

When you awake, you’re in your room. Seconds after regaining consciousness, you notice the banging in your head – and when you blearily open your eyes, reaching around for your phone, you don’t find it. 

Groaning, you stand up from your bed, realizing you’re now in a shirt and some pajamas. But weirdly enough, you seem to still have your bra on.

You peek through the inside of your shirt and alas, the white lace of your bra from last night’s event welcomes you, and when you stretch the waistband of your shorts to check on your panties, you still adorn the pair of white thong, which means only one thing. 

You haven’t changed completely out of the garments you’ve worn to Nayeon’s wedding and you wonder how it all happened. When you look to the side, your clutch is placed on the nightstand and so you grab it, relieved to find your phone there. 

Shockingly, you read it’s only over 2 am. 

With furrowed brows, you go over to the mirror to check your ensemble. Your face isn’t and doesn't feel as heavy with make-up as it was back at the venue, and you’re definitely dressed down now. 

You remember passing out in Jungkook’s car after he insisted that you ride with him… and everything had been a blur since then. 

Suddenly, an idea goes into your head. 

Did Jungkook… change your clothes and remove your make-up? That’s the only plausible thing that you can consider because you honestly don’t remember ever dressing yourself or going to the bathroom to remove your make-up. And if you did change out of the gown, you would've opted out of your underwear as well. 

Maybe Jungkook did all that. 

And the thought makes you smile. But it drops just as quickly. 

You head towards your door and go straight knocking on Jungkook’s bedroom. 

You don’t expect him to be awake at this point, but when you hear steps coming your way and the doorknob clicking, you stare at Jungkook wide-eyed when he welcomes you with his presence behind the door.

“Hey,” He greets, predictably surprised to see you. “You’re awake.”

“Yeah…” your eyes don’t mean to subtly roam his room. Then that’s when you catch it. The bags lying around his bedroom floor and the neatly piled boxes to the side. Your eyebrows meet each other. “You’re packing?” 

Jungkook nods. “I’m leaving tomorrow, I told you that, didn’t I?” 

“Y-you did, yeah.” You stammer, blinking at him. You suddenly feel like throwing up. “Well, I just came to thank you for…” you trail off, gesturing to your clothes.

Seemingly getting what you mean, Jungkook’s lips curl up into a coy smile. “I hope you don’t mind. I tried to wake you up, but you were complaining about your dress when you were sleeping…”

“Yeah… I’m glad you took it off.” You wince. “That sounds wrong. Anyway, the make-up, too. I have to ask, did I throw up on you?” 

Jungkook laughs, incredulous. “No, no, you didn’t. Are you seriously worried about that?” 

“I just feel bad.” You give him a tight-lipped smile. 

“It’s okay. You should sleep now, it’s late. Do you have a shift tomorrow– or later, actually.” 

“Yeah, I do. But it’s the evening shift. So. You?” 

“I have the morning until three in the afternoon.” 

Nodding, you ask, “Are you leaving at three then? I mean, to your new place?”

“Yeah. Will just pass by here to get some of my stuff.”

You try to look for something on his face. But Jungkook looks casual at best. Now you remember what Nayeon told you. Was she lying when she said you’re going to convince Jungkook not to move out? Because from the looks of it, Jungkook doesn’t seem like anything would budge him from leaving tomorrow. He seems so set on a mission, and you can’t lie and say that it doesn’t break your heart. 

You find yourself thinking about the events at the reception party. How he threw you a quick prom, told you you were beautiful… how he said he missed you. 

Was that all a lie? Just something he said to avoid some sort of dead air? 

Because if he truly misses you, then why would he leave? 

You find yourself getting annoyed. 

“I’ll be back to my room.” You say to get out of the situation. You notice Jungkook getting taken aback by the change of your tone, even more so when you turn on your heels quickly to take the two strides it takes you to your own bedroom. 

In there, you throw yourself on the mattress, the impact affecting you a little bit. You must still be drunk because you feel your vision getting blurry a bit but as you quickly shut and open your eyes, everything goes back to normal. 

You sigh. 

Well, maybe you’re actually meant to be alone and it’s true that you’re not meant for any romantic relationships. You’ll die alone and you’ll just have to deal with the heartbreaks you went through your whole life. 

A stray tear escapes your eye, and you quickly raise the back of your hand to wipe at it. You glare at the wall dividing your and Jungkook’s rooms, finding it annoying that you’re not really mad at him. It’d be so easy if you were mad at him… but you have no reason to.

But why is he so stubborn? Why isn’t he saying anything? Can he just… can it just be him who takes the leap of faith, so you won’t have to? You know that’s unfair, though. It’s juvenile. 

In a burst of courage, you take one pillow from your bed and stomp your way out of your bedroom, finding yourself in front of Jungkook’s room again and knocking. 

He opens it, rightfully surprised to see you again. “H-hey, __, I thought—”

“Can I sleep here?” 

You can see the way his face contorts into confusion. “What?” 

“Can I sleep in your room?” You reiterate, but you’re already forcing your way in. You throw your pillow on his own heap of dark ones, frowning when you see the bags on the floor. “Are you just going to pack forever? You’ve been packing since yesterday.”

Your clipped tone throws Jungkook off a little bit, but he doesn’t point that out, though, when he speaks. “No. I’m actually done now.” 

“Okay? Well, then, let’s sleep.” You say, staring at him. He looks stoned in his position from the edge of the bed, so utterly confused. 

“Are you… still drunk?” 

“What? No.”

“O… kay?” Jungkook looks extra cautious when he seats himself on the mattress by your feet. “Are you sure?” 

“About what?”

“I don’t know. About not being drunk and… sleeping here.” 

“Yeah,” you answer, pointing out the obvious. “Why are you acting like we haven’t had sleepovers before? You used to sleep in my room when there was a spider in your closet.” 

Jungkook makes a face. “It was a huge spider.” 

You roll your eyes, going into a lying position, making sure to leave some space for him on the side. “Jungkook.” 

“Okay, I’m going. So demanding.” 

He playfully clicks his tongue as he lays on the bed as well, sliding his body across the mattress. He doesn’t expect the way you take his arm to spread it on your side of the bed, and you don’t let him say another word when you lay your head on it, keeping your hands close to your chest as you snuggle beside him. 

You could feel there was a moment there that Jungkook stiffened for a bit, but he relaxes just as quickly, feeling him caress your head tentatively as if feeling you out before he goes for it completely. 

“This is what you’re gonna be missing out on when you move out.” you mumble.

You’re grateful when he only says: “Hm?”

“Nothing.” You open your eyes and because of the close proximity, your eyes are at the level of the side view of his chest, and you see the way his thin white shirt clings to his body, rising up and down with his breathing. “I saw your keys earlier. I’m glad you like the Claddagh.” 

Jungkook laughs. “The Claddagh, huh? I knew you knew what that keychain meant,” You frown when you realize you were supposed to pretend you didn’t know that. Oh, well, he figured you out right away, anyway. “I really like it, by the way. It was very thoughtful,” Jungkook says. You can’t see him in your position, but you just know he has a smile on his face. He sounds like it. 

“Thank you. I thought about gifting you a watch… but watches are expensive, so…” You decide to joke, and Jungkook laughs which makes you smile. 

“I would choose the Claddagh any day. I just… I really like it. I interpreted it as a deep sense of belonging and shared history, and I’ve known you for eight years, so that seems very fitting. I’m glad you chose to give me that.” 

It was also a reminder of your relationship. Your love for each other. The loyalty that lies in its foundation, and how you’ve managed to build that over the years. Jungkook’s ultimately your soulmate – that you’re sure of – even though that’s a bit of a cliche and you don’t exactly believe in it entirely. A bit of a conflict, really, since you’re a hopeless romantic. 

But you’ve long known that you and Jungkook are more than just friends. You trust and respect each other beyond words – and it’s more than what you could say about your previous romantic partners. Sure, there was that sense of admiration for one another with your ex-boyfriends, but Jungkook is different. He’s always been different. 

You’ve known that all along – but it’s only now that you decided to read between the lines. 

And you want to tell him that. So badly. But you choose to let the gentle tips of his fingers lull you to that comfortable annexe of warmth, easing you from overwhelming thoughts. 

Has Jungkook always felt like the embodiment of comfort for you? Has he always felt like everything good you can imagine having in your life?

Then, you feel him lean down to the top of your head. “You smell so nice. You aren’t my soulmate after all.” 

That makes you violently crane your neck up to look at him. “What?”

“There was this article that Tae sent to me. It was from Cosmo, I think. It says you’re not supposed to be able to smell your soulmate.” He says, looking so serious that you can’t figure if he’s bullshitting you.

You lean on your elbow so you can look down properly at him, saying, “That’s not even plausible. Since when was Cosmo reliable to you? That’s ridiculous. We literally have four hundred different types of olfactory receptors which help us perceive various smells – I mean, unless you’ve damaged them somehow, or there’s a disruption in your signal transduction, or you’re anosmic – which I know you’re not – then I don’t think that’s true.” 

Jungkook laughs and you can’t help but frown. 

“It made sense, okay? If you ignore the science stuff.”

“You’re a doctor.” You quickly counter.

He rolls his eyes. “I mean, for the record, I believe in the existence of extraterrestrial life, so that’s that.”

“Ugh,” you flop down on the bed again, falling back on Jungkook’s body. He scoots closer to hold you close against him, which you welcome casually. You don’t even know how you got this comfortable, but you’re glad either way. He feels so big and warm. “Are you going to show me that Youtube video of top ten UFO sightings around the world again?” 

“You don’t think that Nebraska one looked very real?” Jungkook says with disbelief.

“No,” you turn to Jungkook only to find him already looking at you. “They were college boys, Jungkook. They probably just turned nineteen or something. Have you seen their eyes in the video? It was pixelated as hell, but if I were that high—”

Jungkook suddenly snorts, effectively cutting you off. “Ohh, if you were that high?”

You jab at his chest which only makes him laugh louder. 

“I tried my first weed with you.” You pout.

Jungkook catches the stray hair that falls from behind your ear and hides it back there again as he says, “You coughed nonstop and had a sore-throat the next day. You have baby lungs.” 

You roll your eyes and go back to lying on his arm. “Whatever. All of that still doesn’t justify that we’re not soulmates.” 

“The concept of soulmates doesn’t even have a scientific explanation.” Jungkook chuckles. 

“No…? But there's psychological research about it; the attachment theory, look it up.” 

“There’s also cognitive dissonance.” Jungkook pitches in. 

“That’s so mean!” You gasp, but you know Jungkook’s only teasing when you see that he’s got that huge stupid grin on his face.

He apologizes in between his laughter, squeezing your waist a bit before he says, “Okay, okay. But what if you’re my soulmate, but I’m not yours?” 

“That’s not how soulmate-ism works. Isn’t it nice to think that there’s like a system to it? Like if you’re my soulmate, then that would automatically make me your soulmate. It doesn’t make sense otherwise.” Your eyebrows knit together as you explain.

“I guess you’re right…” Then you hear him letting out a loud sigh. “For what it's worth, I think I’d be really happy if I was your soulmate.”

You smile against his pec after he says the words. 

You like Jeon Jungkook. You like him so much it’s starting to feel unbearable.

There’s silence that hangs in the air for some time before you look up at Jungkook alarmingly. “Kook.” He doesn’t say anything. You lean on your elbow again to peer down at him, only to see that he’s now closed his eyes. “Jungkook.” 

Finally, he stirs. But his eyes are still closed. “Hm?”

“Don’t sleep yet.” 

“Uh-huh.” He gives your waist a brief squeeze again.

“I’m watching you.” 

He chuckles. “What is it?” 

“Let’s talk more.” 

“How are you still not sleepy?” 

“Because…” you drop your head down to his chest this time. “I want to know if you could ever —” you shrug, staring at his ceiling. “—cannibalize someone.”

“I like this. Conversation’s getting raunchy,” You hear him snorting through his breath. “Is this your pillowtalk?” 

“Yes.” 

“In that case, that’s an interesting question. I have never really thought about that.”  

“Really? Never?” 

“I’ve never been in any situation where I had to think about that, thank god.”

You laugh together. “Okay, but if you really had to, would you?” 

“I don’t know… I’m a huge germaphobe, you know that. But I guess humans inherently have indomitable spirits and that conditions us to do whatever it takes to ensure our survival under extreme conditions. I don’t think I’m beyond that.”   

You nod against his chest. Mindlessly, you start tracing random lines over his shirt, and you wait for Jungkook to pry your hand off or say something to stop you or ask you what you’re doing, but he doesn’t really say anything. 

“It’s fascinating, right? The way we can just alter our brains and mindsets when we’re put under certain conditions. It’s amazing and weird at the same time how we work psychologically.” 

“Exactly.” You feel Jungkook nodding. 

“This is– of course this is not an extreme condition where I have to cannibalize someone,” you chuckle, which earns the same thing from Jungkook. You continue, “but you know when you’re experiencing a heartbreak and you think it’s the end of the world but then you wake up one day and suddenly you’re fine? 

When Jungkook turns quiet, you know you’ve touched on a subject that feels personal. 

You sigh. “I broke up with Mingyu awhile ago.” 

“Oh.”

You hum. “Yeah… like a month ago?”

“Ah. I had a hunch.”

“But you didn’t ask,” you smile. “Well, anyway I just want you to know.” 

Silence.

Then, “Do you feel… do you feel sad about it?” 

“That’s what’s weird,” you say. “Because I don’t necessarily feel sad about the break-up, or the relationship. But it’s more like – the thought of breaking up with somebody again.” You chuckle, but there’s no humor to it. “I feel like you can only take so many break-ups in your life before you completely give up on love, you know? And it’s like… I don’t even get it… I mean, I’m decent, aren’t I? I can hold up a conversation, I make sense, I have a good job, and I don’t look bad – although, maybe that’s what’s wrong all along?” You swallow the lump in your throat. “Am I ugly?” 

“Hey,” Jungkook calls, and you feel him rising from his lying position just as you feel tears slowly streaming down your face. 

You scold yourself for it – because what the hell even is this about? Just earlier you were talking about cannibalism and now you’re tearing up. Your emotions are all over the place, and it doesn’t help that Jungkook’s quick to dote on you, guiding your back as you both sit on the bed instead.

You inhale a sharp breath. “Look at me, I’m a mess,” you look at him through blurry eyes, hoping to look apologetic at the very least for barging in his room at fuckass o’clock and disturbing his packing and not noticing that he’s been in love with you for the past eight years. God, you want to say sorry for a lot of things. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I’m crying, it’s not that deep.” 

“If it’s bothering you then it’s a big deal. And I’m looking right at you,” Jungkook wraps an arm around your shoulders as he looks you in the eyes. “I’m looking at you and you’re beautiful, you’re intelligent, and you’re the funniest person on Earth I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing. I’m so glad I met you.” 

“Well… do you still feel that way when I only ever seem to come to you when I wanna vent or cry?” You ask, attempting to joke, but your voice breaks at the end.

It cracks a smile on Jungkook’s face though. “That’s not true at all. You also come to annoy me.” 

Your laughter turns into a sob and that’s when Jungkook wraps an arm around your shoulder to pull you close to his side, letting your head fall to his bicep and resting his chin on top of yours. It’s a barely-there gesture, but you’re pretty sure you feel him kiss the crown of your head. 

“I know… I know we still have a lot to talk about, __. That we’re glossing over the important things. But I want to say sorry. I never said sorry about what happened back at the resort. For Mingyu. For doing what we did. I never said sorry about bombarding you with all those things and for taking so long to talk to you just because I was scared. But right now, I’m saying sorry. I have been completely unfair to you all this time.” 

You quickly get out of his hold to look up at him. “No, you—” 

“Just…” Jungkook cuts you off. “Just let me, okay? I know you’re gonna say none if it was my fault but you’re right about what you said. You’re right about doubting my feelings for you.” 

“Jungkook…”

He nods. “I was in denial for the most part about my feelings for you. Ever since that thing happened with Jiyeon in college, I found it hard to trust somebody again. I slept around in my last year of college because it made me feel good about myself, made me think I was desirable and that someone cheating on me doesn’t mean shit when I had all those women who willingly slept with me. I was like that during my first year in med school, too. Couldn't really get serious with somebody because – because what if they do the same thing again?” Jungkook smiles bitterly. “And then… I met you. It started out as a crush and I was so sure it wasn’t going to be more than that, but then, we were in almost the same classes and we became friends,” Jungkook looks at you fondly and you almost melt in his arms. “And then I found myself liking you, and then I fell hard – really fucking hard,” he chuckles to himself. “It was during spring break of second year when I realized I was fucked and that I was in love with my best friend.” 

“S-spring break?” You whisper, not sure what he meant. 

“You don’t remember it?” Jungkook asks. He looks over your face and suddenly he’s caressing your cheek with his fingers. He swipes his thumb over it, wiping a stray tear away. He smiles before he says, “I caught the flu that time. I called you, but you were over at your parents. Then the next day I woke up and you were at my place telling me to take care of my health because how can I study medicine when my immune system is shit.”

“Oh, that…” you trail off. Suddenly, the fragments of that time become clear to you. The flu wasn’t that bad, only took him three days to fully recover.

“Yeah. But then that was also the time when you told me Eunwoo asked you to be his girlfriend and that you said yes.” 

You inhale a shaky breath.

“I– I tried to forget about my feelings, because I didn’t want to harbor all those feelings for you when you already had a boyfriend. I went to all those dates in the hopes that I could feel something from someone. I tried to date Sora. It was good. It was a good partnership. But then… Eunwoo proposed, and I don’t know – I guess I deluded myself so bad that I have fully moved on from you since then – but then I was faced with the reality that you were going to spend your life with somebody else and I didn’t know how to deal with it. I was so bad at handling my emotions. So stupid. Sora broke up with me because she figured I love you.” 

You stare at him with your mouth agape. You would've never guessed why they broke up. You always thought they were so perfect for each other… 

“And yeah, the break-up with Eunwoo happened and it took you two years to heal. I didn’t want to make a move because I simply didn’t want to be that kind of guy who takes advantage of a woman’s vulnerability after a break-up, you know? And we moved in together two years ago and…” You wait as he trails off. “I guess I just got comfortable with our set-up.” 

“How do you mean?”

“It was like, everything I imagined us to be. Living together, sharing everything together. I thought no one could take that away from me, even if I didn’t ask you out. I’m not telling you to believe it, but I wasn’t with a lot of women for the past two years… yeah, sure, I dated them very briefly, but it was out of genuine attempt to find somebody for myself because I didn’t want to ruin our friendship by confessing. Being your best friend was and still is more important to me than being your boyfriend. I couldn’t care less how I can have you; I want you in any way – and if that meant being your platonic friend the rest of our time, then I was that. I am that. Even now.”

You can’t find your words. You’ve imagined your talk countless times in your head, but they all fell short to give you a taste of what the real thing would be like. 

“So… I’m sorry. I’m sorry for keeping my feelings for nearly eight years. I’m sorry I kept something important to you about Mingyu. I’m sorry I didn’t say anything sooner. Just… I apologize. I feel like I broke your trust.” 

It’s quiet for a while before you break the silence.

“Jungkook,” You call him. He meets your gaze. It’s soft and it’s sweet and you realize he’s always looked at you like that. How could you have not noticed? “You’re very important to me.” 

“I’m glad.” He smiles. A small one that makes him look all boyish. The urge to keep him in your pocket even though he’s much bigger than you becomes huge.

“And I want you in any way, too.” You say, staring intently at him. 

You watch as Jungkook stares back at you. There’s an agonizing stretch of seconds when you see his eyes darting down from your eyes to your lips, and you don’t mean to bite the bottom one, suddenly feeling the thick tension rising in the air.

“Can I hug you?” You swallow the lump in your throat. 

“I would really love that.” 

You don’t know how it happens, but the last thing you see is Jungkook’s wall clock pointing to 3:15 am before you let your eyes rest.

[ READ BELOW ]

this chapter is not over yet! tumblr has a 1k paragraph/block limit in a single post and so i can't put the whole thing in this. please look thru the reblogs to read the last scene of the chapter and the EPILOGUE or click on this [ link ]

[livin4woso]

Boyfriend behaviour-(leah williamson x reader)

Summary - Some people would say leah has a few typical boyfriend behaviours, and shes sure to deny them. However, you are quick to prove her wrong.

Leah was the perfect girlfriend to you. However, many would even question if you even had a girlfriend and more of a boyfriend. It would start off with her becoming a bit possessive over you when the two of yous would go on dates.

It would start with her hand on your thigh or around your waist, and now she would complain about the length of your dress and try to force you to change. "You can not wear that out tonight. Baby people are gonna stare at you," she pouted."i can wear what i want, love, and if people are gonna stare, it's pretty obvious that im taken with you around, " you responded, putting your heels on.

The next of her behaviours is her love for doing things for you. She'll never let you open any doors or will try to do anything for you, and as much as you love it, sometimes i would be nice to open the jars that are in the cupboards when cooking for the two of yous. "Leahhh, please let me open my own door. im not incapable of it even though it's cute" you winge trying to open the car door as she stands in front of the door "nooo pleaseee let me open the door for you" she begs you and you let her because you cant say no to her.

And your favourite one of her behaviours is her ability to spoil you with gifts even when you tell her that it's too expensive. It was late after work, and leah had left for an away game, and as you opened the door to a bouquet of red roses on the kitchen counter. So, in gratitude, you send her a text thanking her.

It was summer break, and Arsenal had set up a team gathering (clubbing), and leah had begged for you to come with her. Yous were sat around a really crowded booth, so leah made you sit on her lap with her hands around her waist. "Baby, stand up. i need to get drinks for the girls" leah said, tapping on your thigh.

Once she left the table to go to the bar, katie slid up next to you "so y/n are you sure you dont have a boyfriend" she said and you responded hitting her arm "yes im sure even though i do question it sometimes but she's my girlfriend with just a few too many boyfriend behaviours". As leah returned to the table, she made you sit on her laugh again, causing you to laugh. "What you laughing at love?" she asked "nothing its just sometimes i wonder whether i have a girlfriend or not" you responded to her, and she pouted towards you "its okay love i love you and all you're little quirks" you responded kissing her temple as she squeezed your waist.

[loserrjamie]

✓PLEASE?

summary: giving jake head (based on a request i cant find anymore 🙁)

warnings: nsfw (obv), sub!jake (lowkey), mommy kink if you squint

masterlist

༺☆༻

After a very stressful day of filming and editing jake was burned out. Sitting in his chair staring at the screen in front of him as if it would make the editing process faster. He ran his hand through his hair letting out a big exhale.

His phone buzzed on the table, and he went to look who texted him.

y/n 🤍

hiiii!!! wyd?

jake 🫶

editing the video me and johnnie filmed today

hbu?

y/n 🤍

im boredddd

im coming over you have no say in this 🙄

jake 🫶

can you get me a monster pleaseeeee

y/n 🤍

okay 😞

After talking to you he put his phone down leaning back in his chair closing his eyes for a second before getting back to editing the video.

About 15 minutes later, you walked into his room walking behind his chair putting the monster on the table and putting your arms around his shoulders. He takes your hand and kisses it before turning around to face you.

"Hi love" you tell him moving a piece of his hair from his face. He looked tired, his droopy eyes looking into yours as a smile crept on his face. He pulls you into his lap, your thighs on either side of his legs and pulls you into a hug wrapping his arms around your waist.

"I've missed you" he mumbled against your skin as he buries his face where your neck and shoulder met. You started playing with the hair at the base of his neck comforting him. "Are you okay?" you asked him before giving him a quick kiss on the forehead.

"Yeah just a bit stressed, this video seems to take forever to edit" he complained. An idea popped into your mind almost immediately. "I know a way i could help you relieve stress" you said as you got up from his lap and moved to sit on your knees in front of him.

Jake smirked. "Oh yeah?" he asked moving his hand on top of your head. You started moving your right hand up his thigh. "You okay with this?" you asked him before moving your hand even more further.

He gave you a small nod. "I need you to tell me baby" you told him. "Yeah i want this" he told you getting more and more eager by the second.

You started teasing him slowly palming his growing boner through his jeans. "C'mon y/n dont tease me" he told you, his eyes becoming darker with lust. "Beg for it" you told him smirking stopping your movements completely.

"Please ma touch me, please" jake begged now desperate to be touched. You started unbuckling his belt and took off his pants and boxers at the same time. His cock sprung up as he was painfully hard now.

You took his cock in your hand starting with slow pumps, giving his tip kitty licks. "Please y/n" he said almost whimpering, not being able to handle the teasing anymore.

You finally decided to give in and put his cock in your mouth. You started moving your head up and down taking as much of his length as you could, pumping what couldnt fit in your mouth. Jake moved his hand on top of your head pushing you even further down his length making you gag.

You could tell he was close as his whimpers and moans started getting louder, his dick now twitching in your mouth. "S-so close fuck" he said through his moans. A few seconds later he came in your mouth and you made sure to swallow everything.

"Thank you y/n" jake said now catching his breath. "Of course darling" you said getting up and giving him a peck on the lips.

[mattybsgroupie]

misbehave | matt sturniolo

contents: cursing; established relationship; edging; handjob (m receiving); p in v; creampie; mommy kink; sub!matt

- ♡ -

notes: i feel this is a bit intense and might not be everyone’s cup of tea but here’s matthew calling you mamas mommy momma ma etc, enjoy!!! if you dont think matt has mommy kink fuck you cause he does. part 2 of “late night rides” coming out next week, we’re fucking matt in the van <3 love you guys

- ♡ -

matt was leaning against the countertop of the kitchen, laughing about something i did not hear with his friends. i was thirsty and he wouldn’t read my messages, so my only solution was to walk through the living room and grab some water for myself.

i tried my best to not interrupt the so called boys night and decided to ignore him, just like he did to my texts. as i was making my way to the fridge, i felt matt’s huge hand slapping my ass followed by a “grab me a drink as well mamas”.

i couldn’t believe his boldness.

i stopped for a bit and stared at him before opening the cold device and grabbing myself a bottle of water and a root beer for him. i got closer to matt to the point our noses were touching, and he looked at me with a cheeky grin growing on his face.

“you are fucked” i whispered, slamming the soda can next to him and giving him a peck, so his friends wouldn’t know what we were actually talking about. i left matt standing there, his blue eyes widening as he realized he was, indeed, fucked.

- ♡ -

around 1am, matt said goodbye to the last guy leaving the house, closing the door and resting his back on the wall. he smiled as i walked to his direction, opening his arms to a hug that i didn’t give, resting my hand on his shoulder instead.

“what was that?” i asked, innocent look on my face.

“what was what?” he played fool.

“uhm, slapping my ass in front of everybody?” i questioned, frowning my eyebrows.

“i have no idea what you’re talking about”

“oh yeah? you don’t remember calling me mamma either?” he gulped, finding the ceiling interesting to stare at. “say it again.” matt shook his head in disagreement. he was trying so hard to piss me off.

“baby, you really think you’re getting somewhere behaving like this?” i asked, my fingers tickling his neck.

“i was, actually. gonna get ready to bed” he teased, loving every second of it.

“sweetie” i cooed, caressing his hair. matt melted into my touch, snuggling against my hand. “you’re not. only good boys are allowed to sleep with their mommies” i pouted, pretending i was so upset at his behavior.

“so you better fix that attitude of yours and behave for mommy, or you're sleeping on the couch.” i smiled before leaving a peck on his nose and quickly making my way to his room.

- ♡ -

i woke up in the middle of the night to matt’s whimpers and small cries. i didn’t notice exactly when he came to bed, but as our bodies were glued together, i could tell it had been a while. matt was burying his face on my back, our legs tangled, humming something i didn’t understand. 

when i fully woke up, i realized why he was actually crying - i could feel his boner poking my thigh, matt’s hips moving in such a slow pace, torturing himself while humping my leg. i slightly turned myself to him, allowing my hands to rest above his sweaters.

“please mommy” matt whispered.

“hm? what is it baby?” i asked.

“wan’ you”

i fixed my position in bed, sitting by the headboard. matt did the same, following me with eager eyes. i couldn’t help but caressing his cheek, slowly traveling my hands down his naked chest and sealing our lips together. matt got desperate with my touch, breathing heavily and deepening the kiss. i palmed him through the cloth, receiving a whine in response “hurts, mama”.

i shushed him, instantly putting my hand inside of his pants and wrapping it around his cock. poor thing was leaking, pre-cum covering his whole shaft. this only made my job easier, pumping matt’s length at a quick pace while i placed love bits over his jaw. 

“c-close”, matt suddenly said. i stopped right away, his blue orbs widening in confusion.

“you really think you deserve to cum? after acting like a brat all night long?” 

matt loudly whined, frustrated with the lack of contact. my fingers made their way to his cock once again, but barely touching where he needed the most. “mommy f-fuck, please. i need you so bad”

i moved my thumb to his tip, circling it before teasing his slit. matt twitched in my hand, bucking his hips upwards to get some friction. i allowed him to get off on his own, holding his dick while he desperately pounded into my fist.

it didn’t take long for his thrusts to get sloppier “w-wanna cum”, he said whimpering. “wanna come for you”

i paused once again, loosening my grip. “not until you tell me why you did that earlier”. matt threw his head back, realizing that if actually wanted to come, he would have to answer me.

“fuck!” he cried before speaking again “i-i misbehaved!” matt finally let out, putting his left arm over his face, covering his shyness away. “because i wanted momma’s attention ah-!” he was cut off by me grabbing his cock one last time and quickly stroking him, not planning to stop this time.

“is that so, sweetie?” i whispered next to his ear, kissing throughout his neck.

“uhum, fuck” he moaned. “wanted mama t-to look at me”

“oh, my pretty boy. you just gotta ask next time. no need to put on a show to get mommy’s attention”

“b-but mommy was talking to- fuck, g-gonna cum” matt whined, his forehead coated in sweat. “can i? please?”

“are you gonna be a good boy for me?”

“yes” he nodded frantically, looking at me with puppy eyes. “matt good for momma”

“that’s right, matt’s so good for mommy. you can cum babe, make a mess on mamas hand hm?” with a few more pumps, he finally came. matt wouldn’t stop whimpering, finally being able to reach his orgasm after being edged for way too long. he covered my hand with his release, jointing his hips forward as he came from his high.

i gave him a kiss on the lips, moving the hair away from his face with my free hand and quickly cleaning us both with bed sheets. i knew matt would often get overwhelmed when in such headspace, so i made sure to hug him, letting him snuggle on my chest and rest for a bit.

as his breath calmed down, i kept running my fingers through his brown locks. “ma” matt muffled. “‘m sorry…”

“what for, baby?”

“misbehaving…”

“shh, it’s okay” i shushed him. edging him was already too much, but hearing his cries only made my cunt ache the whole time. “wanna make it up to mommy? think you handle another round?” matt nodded furiously, quickly getting up.

i could see he was half-hard, but i knew exactly how to get him going again. “oh” i complained. “my breasts are so sore”

“i can help with that!” he firmly said, hands already travelling to my tits. matt's fingers brushed lightly against my hardened nipples, as if he was waiting for permission to keep going. i nodded and got closer, making my way to his lap. sitting with both legs by his waist, i took my shirt off and soon my shorts were gone as well, completely exposed to him.

matt put his tongue out, licking my nub and making me gasp for the sudden contact. i placed both palms on his shoulders, getting near him as he squeezed my left boob and sucked the other. matt was so good and i always let him know that by moaning loudly and praising him for fucking me so well.

matt's hands moved to my ass, strongly groping it and opening my cheeks. his fingers tugged my skin, grip tightening as his tongue still worked on my breasts. it didn't take long to matt's fingers reach my entrance, teasing it slightly. he was fully hard again, cock lazily rubbing underneath me.

i positioned myself downwards, nearing my lower lips to his still wet tip, full of previous cum. pulling my hair aside, i kissed matt to cover his moans as i lowered myself on his shaft. matt was huge, but his sticky spurt made it easier for me to slide in, his veiny cock opening my walls as he burried himself inside of me.

“m-matt, gosh!” i whined once he was in, trying to adjust to his size.

“so tight mommy” matt breathed heavily, closing his eyes and thrusting his hips forward. i bounced on his dick, my tits shaking along with my body as i threw my head back. matt reached my spot, making me arch my back and moan loudly, clenching against his shaft.

“momma i’m-” he said, blue eyes watering.

“babe, be a good boy hold it in for mommy hm? you can do it” i cooed as i kept on riding him, my hands now placed on his chest as i tried to reach my orgasm.

“uhum, yes” matt nodded, grabbing me by my waist and pounding deeper into me.

as i got closer, i couldn’t shut my mouth. i kept on groaning, the knot on my lower belly getting tighter each thrust. “matt, im so close” i cried.

“wan’ inside ma” matt whispered “please, let me cum inside you mommy”

“fuck i-” my own words were cut off by matt filling me up with his release, bringing me to the edge. my whole body trembling, i collapsed over him as i reached my orgasm, completely out of breath.

as we both came from our highs, i heard matt giggling. “what?” i asked.

“nothing” he kept on smiling as i got up, challenging him with my eyes. “don’t make me do that all over again…”

“oh” he laughed, letting me snuggle against his chest. “i'm definitely calling you mammas in public again”.

- ♡ -

[svnluns]

⋆ suck it (G!P)

You and Billie were inseparable. Since the day that they met, they already linked.

You two were now walking home, telling Billie that you met this guy online, and that you two have been talking for the past few weeks.

You couldn’t help yourself from blushing.

“So yeah that’s basically it, he’s name is Blake, he’s super sweet and caring”. You say, looking at Billie.

“Hm. Well you look really happy, I’m glad”. She answers you with a little smile.

“Yo, I have a weird question to ask you tho”. You say, with a smirk.

“Go ahead”.

“Who you mind taking yk pics of me for him, but make it look like I took them, so I can send them to him, yeah?” You say, unsure if you should have actually said that.

“Uh I guess, but be careful”.

“Don’t worry, always babe”. You say kissing her on the cheek.

You finally enters your house and go right into your room.

Your parents weren’t there because they were having dinner at their friends house, so it was just the two of you.

You sat on ur bed, heading Billie ur phone and taking your skirt and top off.

You guys began to take a few pictures, laughing together and Billie seemed to be less tense than earlier.

She kept taking ur pics when u downed your eyes to her pants and saw a bulge forming

You couldn’t keep your eyes of it. Could you really turn her on?

Billie noticed what you were looking at, and she felt uncomfortable about it.

 “Don’t worry Billie, ur good, I can help you with that, fuck the pictures, im probably not going to send them to him anyways”.

“Hm yeah sure I dont mind a little help”. She says, looking at you approaching her.

You reach her pant and started taking of her belt and unzipping her jeans, pulling it down. You then take off her boxer and get down on ur knees. You took it in your hand and leaned forward so you could suck the tip and fitting her cock into your mouth so you could suck it.

You went back and forth as she was putting her hand on the back of your neck so you could go deeper.

“Yeah like that baby, ur doing so good, look at you”. She says to you in a little voice, while you were making eye contact with her.

She couldn’t stop but moan as you went deeper, almost chocking on it.

“Fuck yeah, coming from taking those slutty pictures to being a slut for me”. she says smiling.

“Fuck I’m gonna cum y/n, keep going”. You slid off of her, as she finally moaned, letting the cum canopy over the rest of her length, making a mess on your bed.

After catching her breath, she pulls out herself and whips off the cum that was on the side of ur lips. Taking ur hand so you could get up and sat at the edge of the bed.

She pushed you a little so you were laying down. Taking off your black thong and spreading your legs appart. She became to wrap her lips around my clit. This made my body twist.

“Please Billie”. You moaned, closing your eyes and grabbing the sheets of bed.

She started to become faster and faster. I grabbed into her hair and closed my legs around her.

“Keep them open baby”. was all she said, looking up at me do see how I was handling this.

I looked like a whole mess and a smile appeared on her face as the view of it. Proud of the work that she’s done.

“Omg fuck Billie”. I shouted, moaning and catching my breath. My legs shaking, feeling her get up.

We both laid on the bed, she turned her head towards me.

“Do you still want to text that guy or do you have enough with me?” She says tasing, kissing my lips and fixing my hair.

“Hm we’ll see” I say with a smile.

[sturnlova]

Matt’s long john (M.S)

(Matt Sturniolo x Female reader)

( Warning : Smut, new to writing, not proof read all the way, pet names, breeding kink and other ones, i don’t know what else 😭 )

Matt : Blue

Y/N : Pink

Chris : Orange

Nick : Purple

( Word count : 900)

—————————————————————————

“Next up, we have Matt’s long john” Chris bursted out laughing due to matt’s stunned reaction to Chris’ words.

Me and Nick where in the background as Nick said in a frightened voice “ why would you ever say that” i giggled as i walked past Matt and whispered in his ear “ am i gonna get proof?” Matts ears and checks turned pink due to my words, i just walked away and sat on chair next to Nick waiting for the next donuts.

Time skip

Nick was fast asleep and i was just facing his back on my phone scrolling through TikTok until i got a snap for Matt, it’s not like it was weird for us to text but we didn’t really text on snapchat as i barely used it.

I opened the snap to be shown with a 8 and a half dick with a pink tip and a vein running down the side with matt’s hand holding it, and the text reading “ here’s ya proof” i could hear the Boston accent through the text.

I was still in a state of shock but snapped out of it to slowly make my way to Matt’s room.

I got out of Nick’s room silently and went to Matt’s room forgetting i had the tiniest shorts and a Calvin klein bra.

As i was about to open the door it swung open before my eyes to be meet with matt with dangerously low plaid pants showing his v-line and a happy trail along with no top on.

He grabbed me the waist and kissed me passionately, i started clenching my thigh to attempt to get rid of the growing heat between my thighs.

Matt noticed this and asked me if it was okay to remove my bottoms “ it’s okay Matty, remove my bra well you’re at it, don’t forgot your pants to” Matt removed all of our clothes and threw it somewhere in his room.

He kicked the door closed with his foot and placed me on the bed, he pulled me to the edge of the bed and started fingering me as he whispered praises in my ear.

I just moaned in response, but i needed more than his fingers, “ Matt please fuck me i need it.” and with that Matt added his length to my tight hole stretching me out.

He gave me 30 seconds to adjust but it was definitely not enough time as he started pounding into me” FUCK MATT SHIT YOURE SO BIG, FUCK I DONT KNOW IF I CAN HANDLE IT” i moaned insanely loud as he cut me off with his fingers that were once in me.

Nick called me, Matt saw this and made me answer the phone to talk to Nick.

“ Y/N are you in Matt’s room FUCKING him?”

Matt continued thrusting in me even though i was on call with his brother.

“ no nick i’m- i’m ju-just in his room .. bec- because you were sleeping and i go- got b.. bored.”

“Ok?? Are you ok you’re stuttering a lot?”

“ I’m o-okay i’m just not really focused, we are w-watching a sh-show”

“Ok well come back soon i still need a cuddle buddy.”

and with that i threw my phone across the room.

“ Good girl, lying to him just for you can get fucked by me, nearly got caught with the way you stuttered. Am i fucking you dumb ma?” “ yes fuck Matt you are.”

He kept on ramming into me, it was a speed i didn’t even know was possible, with every thrust hitting my g-spot i must’ve had 3 orgasms.

He licked the tears that feel from my eyes, and stated “ pretty girl can i fuck my babies in you? make you carry a mini me? you gonna let me fill you up?” He started whimpering as his thrust got slower and i was fucked dumb to the point i was barely able to respond, so i just silently moaned yes in response hoping he heard.

He released in me mixing both of our fluids together as i also came undone underneath him.

As he pulled out our juices started coming out but that didn’t last long since he pushed it back in my sensitive hole making me moan.

“Can’t waste any of it”

Matt carried me to the bathroom and placed me down on the toilet to pee, after i did my business he cleaned me and asked if i wanted a shower “ no thanks i can’t stand i’ll have one in the morning” “ Ok Y/N will you sleep with me tonight?” “of course i will Matt”

Matt changed the bedsheets and put me in his over sized top and some boxers, he put his boxers and pants back on as we laid in bed together to drift asleep.

We were interrupted by Nick coming in “ Y/N i get it you and Matt fuck now but i still need my cuddle buddy, also keep the fuck down kid.”

[blackknight-kai]

wukong reminds me of that “hey babe your parcel arrived i think it’s that top you ordered” “oh show me it?” and then he sends a pic of himself wearing his partner’s shirt (that he is ruining and stretching it)

LMFAO YES! I love this type of wavelength XD! I hope you dont mind (if you do I can rework it!!! Just let me know🙏) but I’ll use my own AU for this because it fits so well with my modern Pro Fighter x Fem Writer Reader AU that I’ve been writing. This was a quick one so I hope it comes out okay!!!!

It would be at a time in the future AFTER the fic is over where they live together and Reader is on a little trip doing a few book signings in some big cities - Wukong had to stay home because he had some important Matches coming up that he couldnt take time off for.

—————————

You’d had a fairly busy day signing your latest novel release for your fans. This was the 2nd city out of 4 you were visiting for this little campaign of yours and while you loved every second of it, you really miss your bed. And your monkey. So while you sit tiredly in the back seat of an Uber taking you back to your hotel your thoughts shift to your boyfriend.

With a little start you realize you had forgotten to text him back! He’d sent you a text earlier today but you had just started the signing and didn’t have time to respond. Quickly you open your phone and smile as you always do opening the message chain between the two of you.

Cheeky Monkey 🧡: Hey Peaches, I think the shirt you ordered arrived today

Followed by a little monkey sticker with its long arms in the shape of a heart. Fond warmth bubbles up inside you and you text him back.

You: Really? Took long enough! Send me a pic I wanna see it!

To your disappointment it goes unread even after you arrive at your hotel. With a little shrug you figure he’s probably finishing up training, it is about that time for him anyway. Setting your things down you pull out some pajamas and clean underwear deciding to take a quick shower before bed. Once done you climb into bed with your phone and laptop, there’s still no reply but the message has been read at least so hopefully he’s either on his way home to your shared apartment or just taking a shower of his own before replying.

To pass the time you start looking over your professional writing account on Instaglamour. Liking and resharing the pictures of you with fans that you had been tagged in and uploading a few of your own. It puts a smile on your face to know you’ve come so far from the struggling writer you used to be, now being blessed with having such a wonderful fan base.

You’re distracted though when your phone pings next to you and glancing at the name you grin widely your heart skipping a little beat like it always does at seeing Wukongs name on your screen.

Opening the message though is a whole other story.

Cheeky Monkey 🧡: image.307

Cheeky Monkey 🧡: I think it looks pretty, dont you?

Wukong had sent a selfie, he’s standing in front of your floor length mirror with a claw tipped hand resting on his cocked hip. His furry tail is curled up adorably behind him in his usual expression of ‘I’m being cheeky and I know it’. He’s grinning saucily at his phone and you cannot help but burst out into a loud full on belly laugh. The mischievous monkey is wearing your admittedly frilly peach colored shirt and his boxers. His fur is sticking up at odd angles and looks messy as it spills out over the collar and sleeve openings, showing he obviously struggled to get it on. The fur is extra soft and poofy looking as he’d obviously just gotten out of the shower and used the fully body blow dryer that most homes and apartments come with, apparently he hadn’t bothered brushing it. The poor shirt is stretched to max over his lithe but muscular chest, it looks like its ready to pop off his body honestly if he shifts just right, and you have to laugh at how his pecs are slightly pushed together making them look a little plumper than usual from the tight material.

He looks absolutely ridiculous and as much as you want to be mad at him for clearly ruining the shirt, you cant. It’s just too damn funny looking and your heart just finds his silly behavior endearing, you’ll definitely make him buy you a new one but for now as you cackle you send him little laughing emojis back.

It’s not even a minute later that he is video calling you and you immediately fall into another round of laughing as his pouting furry face comes into view and you see hes still wearing the too tight ruined shirt. Wukong scoffs and you can hear the clear offense in his voice as he demands you to tell him how pretty he is because you obviously dont appreciate him dressing up for you.

God you love your silly monkey.

[b1mbodoll]

hi sweetie! ill kill every mean anon🫶 hope ur doing okay ><

thinking about the hyungs trying to get won in no nut november and hes just like “i am not doing that shit when i have a hot gf go die”😭like sorry that man gets obsessed with u and u cant convince me otherwise!! dancers hips and stamina too u dont stand a chance 🤭

pairings: yang jungwon x f! reader

warnings: silliness + no nut november + creampies + praise + breeding + pregnancy ment ?

💌: thank u for defending my honor, lovebug <3 and thx to u im havin so many NNN ideas T_T help

thinkin’ about you challenging wonie to hold out for no nut november ‘nd he can’t believe his ears like !!! you expect him to hold out for a whole MONTH?? he’s so infatuated with you he can’t go a day without burying his cock ballsdeep in your cunt <3

but you have him wrapped around your pinkie so he decides to try for you! he’s so dramatic n down so bad, he’s at the gates of hell 😭 texts you every day begging for spare pussy bc he’s a weak man! and you know he loves stuffing you full of his cum n breeding you, so you just tell him to wait n that it’ll be worth it because he’s saving his cum for u and it’ll “def be a thick load, wonie!” n the giddiness in your voice at the thought of him knockin’ you up nearly makes him cum </3 but he holds off for you !!!

well he tries to. at day 15 jungwon starts getting too handsy after seeing you walk around in nothing but one of his oversized shirts and panties, pawing at your tits and pulling you on his lap whenever you walk by him, grinding his clothed cock against you and moaning at the stimulation. his voice is whiney and breathy and so sexy, you can’t deny him any longer.

he doesn’t even bother going to your bedroom, he just lays you beneath him on the couch, hands clumsy as he undresses himself and tears your panties off, cock leaking so much precum it leaves a wet sheen on his length. wonie slips his dick inside too quickly and it makes you hiss, his thick cock stretching you out nicely after being empty for so long. “fuck, i missed this pretty pussy,” he groans, dizzy at the feeling of your tight cunt sucking him in greedily. “don’t know how you expected me to hold off for a month, i can’t live without this.”

his praises make your tummy flutter and he’s so pussydrunk they come out like word vomit, his eyes squeezed shut as his pace becomes sloppy, not even pulling out all the way anymore, just grinding his hips into yours while continuing to moan out sweet words.

“so fucking wet, your poor cunt missed me too, huh? missed me fuckin’ my cum into your womb and breeding you? ‘m so close, princess — oh god — need to fuck a baby into you.”

jungwon thrusts into you one last time before his orgasm washes over him, the feeling of his hot cum shooting directly into your womb causing your own climax, shaking and whining as he fucks you through it. he cums so much it feels neverending, painting your innerwalls a creamy white.

you were right, his first load after weeks of not cumming is so insanely thick it spills out of you as soon as he pulls out, globs of his seed making a mess of your cunt and it’s quite a sight, making wonie’s cock twitch.

[totheblood]

superposition. (two)

pairing: dealer!ellie x best friend!reader

summary: ellie gives you lesson number two and you get an A on your test! yay.

warnings: 18+, SMUT, cursing, alcohol/drug mention, suggestive themes... cheating if u squint... the ai audios for this one is?????? just don't listen to it around people pls

a/n: smut is so not my strong suit but like... i tried!! please know i'd love feed back and all reblogs and replies and asks are welcomed and encouraged... i love u all so bad i hope u like this.. ai audios at the end are again... steamy?

read part one to this fic here!

"why dont we collide the spaces that divide us?"

You think your first date was a success.

Malia, your date, did everything right. She held open the door for you, made you laugh, and walked you home with your hand in hers. Her hands were soft, contrasting Ellie’s calloused fingers and dry hands, and by the end of the walk they had grown clammy. She smelled like coconut milk and pink pepper, and her ginger hair stretched passed her shoulders. When she spoke her tone was gentle, her words almost sickly sweet as they fell from her lips. On paper she was perfect.

But as the two of you approached your apartment building and her cherry-flavored lips met yours, it wasn’t like you had imagined. You were unsure if you sitting in Ellie’s lap earlier that night had anything to do with the sour taste left in your mouth as you gave her another kiss goodnight, but it certainly wasn’t helping.

“We should do this again.” Malia practically shouted as you walked up the stairs to your building's entrance. “I had a lot of fun tonight.”

“We should,” An odd feeling settled in your chest. “Text me, yeah?”

“Okay, I will.” Her smile held warmth in it, her cheeks growing red. It was obvious she was really into the date and while your chest swelled with pride, it also didn’t swell with the same affection she was harboring. A part of you assumed that love didn’t happen gradually and that your feelings would only grow as time went on, but you couldn’t be sure of that at this moment. All you knew was that she was practically perfect, but she wasn’t Ellie.

The whole night all you could think about was the fact that everything she did was the complete opposite of what Ellie would do. Your whole brain felt muddy as you searched around in your bag for keys wondering why you suddenly felt the need to compare your date to your best friend. It would never work out between you and Ellie anyways… right?

It wasn’t like you hadn’t found Ellie attractive when you first met her, but you were inexperienced and way too shy to flirt with her. As a result, the friend zone became a permanent place for you and Ellie. There was a comfortable haze that settled in the air when you were with her and it was a growing fear of yours that something could jeopardize it, and knowing Ellie that was entirely plausible. 

You wouldn’t go to the lengths of saying that Ellie was a ‘fuck boy’ but it was clear she got around. On many different occasions, you had let yourself into her apartment and been met with varying girls, all of whom Ellie claimed she would never call back. You had to actively ignore the disappointment you felt each time you interrupted her with someone, and the anxiety at your throat when she claimed she was already over them. You knew Ellie would never abandon you like that, but it was still a possibility.

Whatever feelings you had when you first met her, however, were now shoved down into a deep place in your brain that was threatening to come to the surface again. You didn’t want her to be anything but ‘your Ellie’ and you desperately wanted to remain ‘her petal’. At this moment there was nothing more important to you than keeping the small semblance of domestic bliss that you had with her.

As you hung up your bag and began to take off your coat you felt your phone vibrate in the pocket. It was almost perfect timing from Ellie seeing as you would have spent the entire night searching for your phone and thinking Malia had robbed you. 

E: How’s the date going? Or how did it go? 

E: Unsure of my timing rn.

Y: it WENT well… she was cute

E: Did you use any of my techniques?

Y: no nothing happened, we just kissed goodnight and then she left

Y: plus you didn’t teach me any techniques you just made out with me

Y: hoping that was free lesson cause idk if i can afford the ellie williams tuition

E: That’s boring.

E: No action? I mean it’s Friday night.

E: It’s always gonna be free for you, Petal.

Y:  no action :( 

E: Poor baby. 

E: We should fix that.

E: Want me to come over? We can smoke and you can tell me all about this very boring date.

Y: IT WASN’T BORING STOP THAT

Y: and yes, my answer is always going to be yes to smoking with u

E: When you got so high that one time and bit me…

E: Don’t bite me again.

E: Wait actually…

Y: perv

E: Shut up.

You got undressed and changed into the same outfit that you slept in every night, an old t-shirt and grey sweatshirts. For a moment you contemplated not taking off your makeup, wanting to look nice for Ellie, but your need for comfort won you over this time. It wasn’t too long later that Ellie was making her way into your apartment and placing her backpack down on the floor. You moved to stand in the doorframe of your bedroom shooting a pointed look at Ellie.

“What are you looking at me like that for?” She removed her coat and threw it over the couch revealing her own casual outfit underneath: A loose t-shirt and grey sweatpants. Fuck, she looked good in those swea-

 “You should really knock, Ellie,” This same lecture had poured from your mouth every time she did this, but she never stopped. Truth be told, Ellie liked the idea of coming home to you, just letting herself in and setting her shit down as she had just done. It was a small act in the large umbrella of romantically ambiguous things the two of you had gotten used to doing.

If Ellie was being honest with herself she would finally admit that whatever relationship the two of you had always bordered on the verge of no longer being platonic. She would just find herself doing things for you that she would never do for anyone else. She always let you smoke for free, voted on whatever movie you wanted to watch during movie night just to see you smile, and she was doing shit like she had done tonight. 

The minute you left for your date Ellie was glued to her phone, patiently waiting for you to tell her the date went to shit and that you needed her to come over and light up with you. As the night went on Ellie found herself anxiously bouncing her leg and obsessively checking your location. She was supposed to be working tonight, but instead, she was cyberstalking her best friend who was on a date. This time it was her turn to feel like a loser.

“Then why did you give me a key?” She walked over to you, hands in her pockets as she leaned up against your door frame. Your oversized t-shirt swallowed you whole hiding the shorts you had on underneath. You looked so at home, so comfortable, and everything in Ellie’s head turned to mush as she imagined pulling you into her by your hips and kissing the lecture right off your lips.

“For emergencies.” Your eyes instinctively rolled at her but you knew you could never be mad at her. You secretly liked it as much as she did. 

“I thought it was an emergency. You know, that your date was sooo boring that you needed me to come and take care of you.” From her pocket she pulled out a skinny plastic container, popping open the top with her pointer and thumb and shaking the joint into her hand. “Plus, I bought you free weed so you can’t be too mad at me, Petal.”

“It wasn’t boring, stop saying that.” You took the joint from her hand and led her over to your side table where you kept your lighter. Placing the tip of the joint between your lips you attempted to light your lighter as you sat on your bed, but failed. 

“The fact that you still don’t know how to use your lighter is beyond me.” Ellie walked over to you, taking the lighter from your hands. “What would you do without me?” 

You were about to roll your eyes when Ellie’s free hand found the bottom of your chin, lifting it up slowly so you were looking up at her from your place on the bed. She towered over you in this position, her eyes trained on your lips where her joint was hanging from your mouth. She quickly lit the lighter and loosely grabbed your chin, bringing it close to her other hand where she lit the joint for you. She was unsure of where this bout of confidence came from, but she would be lying if she said she didn’t have several fantasies about you that began this way. 

Dazed, you stared up at her watching her hooded green eyes take you in. For a moment, you forgot what you were doing when she knocked her knees gently against yours. 

“Suck.” She commanded, voice low and sultry. In response your eyebrows knit together in confusion, not fully understanding what she was trying to say. “The joint, Petal. Take a hit.” 

Her voice came out in a whisper that would have made your knees weak if you were standing up, but you happily obeyed her, taking a drag. You took a deep inhale allowing the familiar burn to sit comfortably in your chest. Ellie removed her hand from your chin and sat down next to you. You almost whined at the loss of contact. 

As you usually did, you passed the joint over to Ellie, watching as she took a hit and blew smoke into the room. She was in her element, here with you and taking care of you in the only way she knew how. All of the things she refused to share with you were shoved deep down into a place she was forgetting the name of right now. All that mattered was you.

 When she passed it back to you she smiled, watching as your eyes became half-lidded and calm. You were in your soft place, a perfect place to stop. Ellie took another hit and clipped it, shoving it back into its original container and back into her pocket. 

“So,” She began, leaning back on both her hands and turning towards you. “How did it actually go?”

“I think it went well,” You smiled causing Ellie to instinctively smile back at you. “She was cute, really nice, laughed at all my jokes.”

“She must really like you then,” Ellie laughed to herself. “Cause your jokes are shit.” 

“Oh, fuck you.” You giggled, leaning into her. When you sat back upright Ellie had a wide grin planted on her face. 

“What?” You questioned her.

“Did you kiss her?” Ellie’s smile faltered slightly, her eyes telling her true intentions. She wanted to know if the girl you went on a date with was a better kisser than her. 

“Yeah.” You sighed, chewing on your bottom lip anxiously.

“Was it good?” Ellie’s smile was completely gone by this point.

“Not as good as with you.” You confessed, and just like that Ellie’s smile was back. “I mean it just wasn’t as good, but it was a first date what do I expect? Maybe it’ll be better next time.” Gone, again.

“Next time?”

“Yeah, I’d like to see where it goes.” You shrugged, matching Ellie's posture with your hands behind you.

“Maybe you just need more lessons.” Her eyes were fixed on yours, red and glossed over. 

“Maybe.” You blinked over at her, mouth going dry. “What are you getting out of it?”

“I’m just a really good friend, I guess.” She joked, hitting your shoulder with hers.

“Yea.” You whispered, eyes glancing at her lips.

“Ready for another lesson, Petal?” Her voice was steady, her high giving her the confidence sobriety couldn’t. All you could do in response was nod. She pushed herself off the bed and gently tapped the side of your exposed thigh. “Okay, lay back on the bed for me.” 

Quickly, you obliged, lifting your legs onto your floral bedsheet. Everything around you felt like silk from your high, the sheets, Ellie’s hands, the pillow that you rested your head on. 

“Good girl.” Ellie smiled, getting back on the bed, and sitting on her knees with her legs tucked underneath her. Gently, she leaned forward and pressed a soft peck on your lips, wiping off any trace of Malia. It wasn’t like the kiss the two of you shared earlier, your tongues weren’t down each other's throats and her hands remained at her side. It was slow, tantalizing almost, and when she pulled away a girlish smile spread across her face. When she sat back on her knees her hand hovered over your stomach. “It’s okay if I touch you here?”

You were rendered speechless, she was being so soft and gentle with you that it made you like putty in her hands. You eagerly nodded, causing Ellie to laugh. “I’ll tell you everything I’m doing, Petal. Maybe you’ll be able to teach your boring date what to do next time.” Her hands slipped under your shirt and skimmed the base of your stomach. Your breath hitched in your throat, hindering any ability to tell her your date wasn’t boring. At this point, she could say whatever she wanted to you and you would take it. 

“I’m gonna take these off, okay?” Your eyes peered down at her, nodding once again. She pulled your shorts and underwear down together, painfully slow. She let them rest at your knees and lifted up your shirt that was covering your center. Suddenly, you felt extremely shy but didn’t make an effort to stop her. 

“You look so pretty, Petal.” She cooed as if she could read your mind. “Almost want to kiss it.”

“You can.” You weakly replied, knowing you were dripping from her words alone.

“Not so fast. We haven’t gotten there, yet. Basics, Petal. I thought you knew this.” Ellie leaned forward and pressed a kiss below your belly button, earning a whimper from you. 

“Be as loud as you need, okay?” Another kiss, another whimper. “I wanna hear you.” She moved to kiss you on the inside of your thigh. A gasp fell from your lips causing Ellie to smile against your skin. “Need you to tell me how good I’m doing.” 

“I’m gonna touch you now,” Her pointer and middle finger tapped your clit. Ellie was so focused on your cunt that she didn’t see your mouth fall open. “Right here.” 

Slowly she began rubbing tiny circles into your clit, applying light pressure. Your eyes fluttered closed, and a small moan escaped from your lips. Almost as if on cue, Ellie began applying more pressure, her eyes now focused on your contorting face.  

“Hey, hey, look at me.” She coaxed making your eyes glance at her. She looked so pretty, so focused on you that it made your pussy clench around nothing. “Feel good?”

Another nod.

“Use your words.” She picked up her pace making you scream out. Ellie almost moaned herself, just at the sight of you. “Mhm…Tell me how good I’m making you feel.”

“Fuck, Ellie,” Your breathing was jagged as you felt a knot tighten in your stomach. “It feels so,” She applied a little more pressure, causing your eyes to roll back into your head. “Fuck.” 

“You’re doing so well, baby.” Her movements were calculated, and her words were only egging you on.

“Ellie, I think I’m gonna-”

“Do it. Cum. I know you can do it, baby.” She was pressing hard and fast circles into you and leaned forward to press another kiss into the inside of your thigh. All it took was the words of encouragement from her and you were coming undone, screaming out her name in between rapid breaths. When Ellie was sure you were done she pulled her hand away and licked her fingers.

You collapsed into the bed, eyes closed and trying to steady your breathing. When you opened them Ellie was gone, causing you to sit up sharply, wondering if you had just fantasized what just happened. 

“Ellie?” You called out, looking towards your door where she was returning with a washcloth in her hands. 

“Just needed to get this.” She lifted up the washcloth and shook it as she sat back down next to you on the bed. “You kind of made a mess.” She chuckled. 

“Oh,” was all you said as you glanced down to where you were dripping onto your bed. 

“Can I?” You nodded, ignoring her red cheeks as she cleaned you up. 

“Thanks for that.” You started as you watched Ellie pull your pants back up. “I’ll see if I can teach Malia anything. I think your lessons will really help, you know.” And just like that the gentle smile that Ellie had plastered on her face since she began cleaning you up was gone. 

It was almost as if a part of her believed she could fuck you into loving her but it was becoming increasingly obvious these really were just lessons to you. 

“Yeah.” She sighed, standing up and throwing the washcloth in your hamper. “I should get going. It’s getting late.” 

“Oh, okay.” You smiled up at her, hoping to see her smile back. She didn’t. “Text me when you get home?”

“Will do.” 

And just like that she was gone.

ai audios:

[anotherfcknschlattsimp]

Kinktober Day 13

blackmail

cw: dubcon on everything, incest

let's go

schlatt -

takes a video of you going down on him in his office

threatens to send it to all the businesses nearby so you cant find another job

he needs you to need this job

there’s no other reason you would hang out with him

“don’t even think about telling anyone or trying to stop me, toots”

if you ever act up, he takes out his phone and gestures that he was gonna send it

shuts you up real fast

has the email ready to be sent (he doesnt but he tells you he does)

has you send him nudes from the company bathroom in the middle of the day

has a stash of your stolen panties in the same safe he keeps pictures of you in

lingerie under dresses for work parties, covered in his cum after a lunch break session, your hole leaking his cum on his desk, that time he made you squirt so hard it ruined some of his paperwork (that's one of his faves)

love love LOVES being reminded that he's kinda sorta Your Boss

fucks you over the copymachine when you're the last two in the office and he didnt have a chance to use you before during the day

WILL send that shit out if you think about quitting though :]

ted -

you're a streamer, yes, but you were a camgirl/boy first

ted's been your biggest fan in both areas but he didnt realize you (streamer) were you (hottest person he's ever seen)

until he comes across a really old video he saved where he got a glimpse of your face

he takes this as a chance to make a move

sends you the video with the caption “come to my place or i'll leak it :)”

you RUN

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

he has a table decked out, white cloth, two flutes of champagne, a rose on top of a file

“oh you wanna know about the file? it's screenshots from your cam days :]” he says innocently

like he's not capable of ruining your life in a couple clicks

“sit, drink!” he exclaims and gestures at the other chair and glass, “i need you nice and tipsy for the rest of my plans~” he mumbles

once he thinks you're sufficiently inebriated he sets his plan in motion

asks you if you're open to a “mutually beneficial pact”

one where he gets to call on you whenever wherever for whatever reason and you dont get your pornos leaked :] win-win!

you, tipsy and not fully understanding the implications, accept

it's a week before ted calls you up and asks you to come to dinner with him

he tells you to dress nicely, it's an upscale place

another week and he asks to go to a movie

innocent things to start

a couple days since the movie he texts you, asking to come to your place

you were expecting another game night or movie or something, just like he had hoped

but he made his intentions clear by pulling down his sweats and boxers to release his length

“you caused this.. been imaginin it was you for years babe~”

he did the stereotypical smack against your cheek

“now you get to take care of it, babe :] it's your fault afterall”

charlie - bro!charlie, im sorry, moistclitikal has ruined my brain /pos

“oh god,, please please please-” you hear charlie sound almost pained from his room

you finally decide to go check it out when you catch your name

you dont bother knocking, this seemed important

you stop in your tracks with the door half open

charlie had his headphones on and was staring at his phone

hand pumping up and down under the covers

it was hot and you had to save it for later that night

so you took out your phone and started recording

he still hasnt noticed

when you're done with your fun and catch a couple slips of your name on the video, you giggle

he snaps his hand away from his device to throw his headphones off

but the sudden motion throws the blanket off his lap, revealing a pretty pink pair of panties wrapped around his cock

*your* panties

that had been missing all week

soaked and soiled but still so recognizably yours

“PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE” as he scrambles to cover himself again

“oh really? cause it looks like you're being a little perv and jacking off into your big sib's panties :( i even have a video of it! maybe i need to send it to your friends for a second opinion?”

his heart SINKS

rushed “PLEASE DONT ILL DO ANYTHING!! ANYTHING!! PLEASE”

you step further into the room and begin taking off your shorts and panties

he's frozen in shock, so so so confused about what you were doing

you begin taking off your (his) shirt

you can almost hear the awooga going off in his brain as he's stuck staring at your boobs

his eyes follow you as you move to straddle him, pushing the covers off of his bottom half

“o-oh good god- wh-wha-” he stammered out, completely lagged “w-we can't, we're related??”

“oh, so now you dont want this?” you tease as you rub yourself along his length

lets out the cutest and hottest nerd moans ever

you make sure to remind him of the video everytime he starts acting up

and everytime you need a nerd to fuck into next week

[bbyquokka]

Dom Channie just making you take care of him

So like, he tells you what to do and then you're in cute clothes and you have to make "Daddy feel good" n stuff

*hides face in hands*

making him feel good

SMUT BELOW CUT – MINORS, AGELESS & DEFAULT BLOGS; DNI

cw: gender-neutral reader, established relationship, dom chan, sub reader, daddy kink, fellatio (bj)

a/n: ty for the hard thought! i hope this is what you wanted & that you enjoy! 🥺👉🏼👈🏼 don’t forget to leave feedback, reblog and tell me what you think here! i hope you all enjoy! ‹3

dont repost. dont translate. feedback and reblogs are highly advised and appreciated!

his gaze is piercing you. you feel suffocated with his dominant aura. you did everything he asked of you today and chan is very impressed with how well behaved you've been.

unfortunately, he had to leave to run some errands during the day but the didn't stop him from texting you and instructing you on what he expects to see when he comes back home.

he wanted you dressed all pretty for him. he expected you to be there at his beck and call as soon as he walks through the front door and that's exactly what happened.

the errands he ran caused him to be a little bit stressed and annoyed so he needed some downtime – specifically he needed you.

in his own greedy and selfish way, he wants to use you and indulge in you so when you rushed to the door looking all cute and adorable just like he asked, did he tingle with excitement.

“that's it. keep going.” he groans from his seat on the sofa. his soft, yet firm hands caressing your cheek as your mouth is stuffed to the brim. the corner of your lips stretching and burning slightly, tears welling in your eyes as you struggle to take him all due to his size and girth.

deep grunts and moans would fall past his lips every time you did something he especially liked which encouraged you to keep going.

“dressed so pretty for me. making daddy feel good.”

you look up at chan from your position as you stroke his length. you keep your mouth on his tip, sucking and swirling your tongue around it. chan frowns a little and strokes your kiss bitten lips.

“daddy didn't say stop.” his voice is low and authoritative. it makes you shiver and tingle, abdomen fluttering and feeling hot.

“sorry daddy.” you whisper before taking him back in your mouth again. you flatten your tongue to stroke the underside of him, head bobbing and saliva spilling from the corners of your lips.

“fuck. that's it. keep going. just like that. you're so good for daddy. ” chan groans as his head kicks back. he rakes his fingers through your hair, tugging slightly.

your jaw starts to ache a little and as much you want to stop, you decide against it. chan is selfish when he is like this and only cares about his own needs and pleasure. you dare go against him.

after a few more sucks, he pulls out off you and grabs you by the bicep. he lifts you up and onto his lap so you straddle him.

with a mischievous smirk, he holds your waist and pulls you flush on his penis.

“your mouth is good and all, but i know a much better way to make daddy feel good.”

[hoesheez]

Free Racha…

3Racha/AFAB Reader

WARNINGS: free use, unprotected sex, language

A/N: been wanting to write a fic with both studio sex and putting moans into a song, dont ask why haha

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!

After dating the men of 3Racha for a few months now, you thought it was finally the perfect time to ask them something. It was something you had been thinking about for a while now, the thought of it fueled many of your late night thoughts you used to pleasure yourself. One day when the four of you were finally in the same room, you brought up your idea.

You were all hanging out in the kitchen, playing a game of UNO when you mustered up the courage to ask them. “Do you guys know what free use is?” Jisung practically choked on his drink, “Come again?” he asked as he wiped his mouth with his sleeve. Changbin had stifled a laugh and hid behind his cards while Chan turned to you with an eyebrow raised. “What about it?” he asked curiously.

The three men looked at you, your words caught in your throat. “Come on then,” Changbin said as he placed his hand on the table, his muscular arms flexing as he crossed them over his chest. “Yeah, tell us Y/n,” Jisung spoke next. Seeing as how you couldn’t get out of it now, you sighed and cleared your throat. “Well, I wanna try it with you guys, it really turns me on thinking about it.” The men looked at one another, “You sure?” Chan asked. With him being the first man you started dating out of the trio, he knew you more than the others did and wanted to make sure you knew what you were getting into. He placed a hand on your thigh and squeezed , “Cause Im definitely on board.” Changbin and Jisung stood up as if they’d miss out on something, “Me too!” they both said in unison. You giggled at their enthusiasm, “Cool, uhmm,” you said and stood up, walking over to Changbin and Jisung who sat on the other side of the table, “should we try it out now?” you leaned in front of them on your hands and looked at them with a devilish smirk. Changbin reached out and pulled you in for a kiss, meanwhile Chan was already behind you pulling down your pants. Changbin pulled away and began undoing his pants as you leaned over to Jisung and gave him a kiss next. “So guys, when will you both be free so we can start working on the song?” Chan asked as he licked his hand and pumped himself, getting ready to enter you from behind. By now, you were already leaning on your arms sucking off Changbin and Jisung simultaneously. “I have an appointment tomorrow, why not this weekend?” Changbin huffed as you worked on him, taking his length all the way to the back of your throat. “Cant, we’ll be at dance practice all day.” he explained as you pumped him with your free hand. The men continued to talk and go about their business as you obeyed and let them fuck you however they liked.

Ever since then, they’d use you freely whenever they wanted. Whether it be at home or in the studio. When you were alone with each of them or altogether, it was incredible. Your deepest desires finally coming true, and the men you loved sharing every experience with you.

So of course when chan texted you to come over to the studio, you knew that you’d be used and fucked exactly how you liked. Just the thought of it caused your pussy to ache with need. You got ready and decided to wear your prettiest lingerie, some tight shorts that made your ass look amazing and sprayed yourself with your most intoxicating perfume. You stopped by their favorite restaurant to get some food and hurried to the JYP building to meet your three boyfriends.

You rode the elevator up and went to your second favorite place besides home and knocked on the door. Jisung answered, looking you up and down in appreciation, but then paying more attention to the bags of food. He took them from you and let you inside, finally saying hello with a gentle kiss. Chan turned away from his computer and looked at you, then did a double take, this time looking at you longer. He tapped Changbin who was behind him on his phone. The muscular man looked up at him as if he was going to say something but then followed Chan’s eyes to where they fell on you. You watched as he bit his bottom lip and shifted in his seat. “I brought food,” you said and put your things down before coming over to give Chan a kiss. He kissed you back and held the back of your head, “You look amazing.” he whispered against your lips. You smiled and went to Changbin, who offered you a seat on his lap. You sat on his thick thighs and leant in to kiss him. He couldn’t help himself and immediately undid his pants, pulling out his thick cock for you to suck. You quickly moved on the couch, laying on your belly and taking him into your mouth. Jisung came to sit and you moved your legs up and allowed him to sit, putting your legs back on his lap after he sat down to begin eating his food. He used one of his free hands to squeeze your ass, “How’s the song coming along?” he asked with a full mouth. Chan sucked his teeth, “Its, okay,” he said with a nervous laugh. Changbin patted your head as you sucked his dick, your hands coming to tug on his balls. He moaned softly, “Should we take a break?” he suggested and Chan shook his head, “There’s really no time, we have to push through the night, we’ve got this.”

He stretched with a small groan and quickly went back to mixing sounds. Jisung tapped you to get you to move your legs and he got up and put his food down. “Lets hear what you have so far.” he said and reached around your back to unbutton your shorts and pull them down your legs. “Alright, its not very long but,” he said and a tune began playing.

It sounded great to you, but these men were professionals, anything less than perfect wasn’t good enough. So you minded your own business and continued to suck Changbin off, ready to help in any way you could. You perked your ass up to Jisung after he finished taking off your shorts. He leaned in and began kissing your rear, pulling your underwear down to get more access to your plush skin. “Its a good start, lets record some vocals and see.” Chan turned to him, “Should i just do that now? Maybe it’ll help us decide on how to finish it?” He asked between the two men. Changbin nodded, “Good idea.” he said and pushed you onto him further. You gagged and dug your nails into his taught thighs through his jeans.

Chan started to set up the microphone so he could add some vocals to the demo. Jisung had already taken his cock out and slid it against your wet folds, slapping your ass and moaning at how wet you were. You immediately pulled off of Changbin, “Harder, Sungie, please” you begged and Changbin roughly took you by the hair and shoved his cock back into your mouth. “Go on, give them another.” he groaned out as he held your head down, his dick at the back of your throat making you gag. Jisung slapped your rear again, harder this time and you squirmed under him with a moan.

Chan finished setting up the microphone and cleared his throat to begin singing . While he recorded, Jisung finally entered you, his dick dragging deliciously against your tight walls. Changbin let go of you and you inhaled deep, his cum mixed with your saliva dripped from your mouth. He removed his shirt revealing his muscular body and moved to be on his knees on the couch, much like the position Jisung was in on the other side. They had you now on either side and thrust into you roughly in tandem. You moaned deeply with a stuffed mouth as the men thrust into you hard. Chan sighed, his need to be inside of you growing. He tapped the spacebar on the keyboard and the new tune began to play.

“Wait,” he said suspiciously and played it again, “Did you guys hear that?” Changbin and Jisung stopped, as their leader played the snippet over. You payed attention to the music after the man stopped and you could hear a moan in the background of the song. “Was that?” Jisung asked and slammed into you from behind. “That actually, sounded pretty good.” Changbin said and pulled you off of him.

He moved to take Chan’s place at the computer, chan coming over to your waiting mouth and pulling himself from his shorts. “You’re moans sound so good, lets hear some more.” he entered your mouth and wasted no time in thrusting to hit the back of your throat. Jisung picked up his pace and fucked you harder, his hands gripped your rear, sure to leave beautiful marks. He huffed and moaned, thrusting faster and nearing his peak. You felt him pick up his speed, moaning loudly when he reached a hand between your legs and began rubbing your clit. You gagged and huffed on Chan’s dick, unable to move, only looking up at him with tears in your eyes. “Play it back.” he said and Changbin clicked the mouse and replayed the part he just recorded.

Your whiny moan played in the background with the baseline. The three of them looked at each other, “So, we’re doing this?” Chan asked with a laugh. You got off of him quickly, “Start recording! I’m gonna cum!” you yelped and Changbin quickly hit record and brought the microphone closer to you. You huffed out a few light moans, growing louder and louder until your orgasm washed over you. “Ahhhh!” you cried out beautifully, the boys stunned from the noise you had just made.Jisung chuckled and stuttered against you, soon reaching his peak. He sighed and leaned down, kissing the back of you neck and trailing soft kisses down your back.

Your throbbing core spasmed on his softening cock before he finally slipped out of you. Jisung then tucked himself into his pants and went to the computer to review what was going on. “Come here babe.” Chan said and he brought you by your hand to sit on his cock. Your breath hitched and he bottomed out, your hands going to his shirt and gripping hard. “Play that one back.” Chan said as you began riding the leaders cock, greedily bouncing up and down as your orgasming moans played from the computer speaker. Chan removed your top and immediately grabbed your breasts and squeezed them through your bra. “That one might be a little, too suggestive.” he pumped up into you, meeting your hips with his. Changbin and Jisung agreed and began editing it to sound more subtle. Your head rested on his chest as you moaned and whined with how good he was fucking you. “Babe,” he said softly and turned your face to his. “Thank you.” he whispered against your lips and you wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him, nibbling on his lower lip before you pulled away. He lifted you up and moved you to lay on your back on the couch. He grabbed one of your legs and pulled it closer to his body, letting the other hang off of the couch.

The sounds of your soaked and messy cunt caused the other men to look over at you getting fucked. Chan was fucking you so hard, your breasts bounced wildly with every thrust. “Damn.” Changbin said and stood up, and moved closer to you to fill your open mouth with his cock once again. “Let me try something,” Jisung mumbled and sat down, turning his attention to the computer. He clicked away and worked as you got pounded behind him: Chan picked up his pace, his thrusts becoming more brutal and precise, “See if there’s some samples saved, and add some autotune.” Chan grunted through his teeth, his hips stuttering as he climaxed. His seed shot into you and he moaned, breathy and soft. The sound of his moans and his last hard thrusts caused you to cum once again, your body involuntarily pulling away from him as you couldn’t handle the overstimulation.

“Auto tune? On the moans?” Jisung asked as he turned his head to look at Chan, who was standing up and stuffing himself back into his shorts. He went over to the computer and the two of them started disagreeing on how to finish the song. Changbin pulled out of your mouth and came to help you to stand up with a strong grip on your hand, “Just do rock, paper, scissors.” Changbin suggested and the other men began playing rock, paper, scissors to see if there will be auto tune or not. “Idiots,” Changbin said under his breath and the two of you laughed.

He turned you so that your back was to him, then he lifted you up, holding your thighs and arms with his arms over you.He thrust up into you, his balls slapping against your ass loudly. The arguing men quickly noticed what was going on, their heads turning and jaws going slack as Changbin used his strength to fuck you in a full vaginal nelson.

“Ahhh fuck!.” you cried out as he fucked you fast and deep. Jisung tapped chan to start recording and put the microphone in front of you, capturing your babbles and moans for them to hear later. “Assholes,” you huffed out, feeling your body go flush, all of a sudden feeling slightly embarrassed. The men teased you and laughed with you as Changbin continued.

“Well the songs almost done, just a bit more tweaking.” Chan said and focused on his work. Jisung brought his hand to your cunt, using his fingers to rub your clit, “Good, I’m so ready to head home,” he sighed and rubbed you faster. Changbin picked up his pace, fucking you faster, “You close?” You nodded, tears falling from your eyes at this point, “Yes Binnie.” Jisung continued to rub you, and along with Changbin’s brutal thrusts, you soon came, squirting with a small scream. The youngest’s jaw dropped as he got wet in the process, “Wow! Do it again!”

Changbin soon came into you, his strong arms holding you tight as he grunted out his climax. He sighed and put you on the floor, kissing your cheek before you stumbled and fell into Jisung’s body. He held you close, “Okay fine, maybe next time.” he kissed you on the lips and brought you to sit on the couch, which soon turned into you laying on his and Changbin’s laps. Chan came over and kissed you on the forehead, “Let me clean you up.” His voice was soothing as he grabbed some tissues to clean you and gave you the spare shirt and shorts he kept in his studio for emergencies.

The four of you relaxed and ate after the intense session. Changbin massaged your legs and feet, while Jisung rubbed your head gently and occasionally bent down to kiss you. Chan sat on the floor next to you, eating his food and feeding you at the same time. Once he was done, he went over to the computer, “Ok so, this is the song so far.” The song that played through the speakers was a slow r&b track with high hats and a sample of Chans vocals, along with your occasional moans hidden in the background music. “And heres what it sounds like with autotune.” he said and played the song. It sounded horrible, definitely not as good as the first. You all agreed it was trash with a look at one another, Jisung breaking out into a contagious laugh. They teased the way your moans sounded with the note changes thanks to the tuning, something you were sure they’d never stop doing for a while. You just laughed and enjoyed the moment with them, ecstatic that they cared about you so much and that you could truly be yourself with them.

A/N: no because tell me they wouldn’t tease you relentlessly with auto tune moan jokes lmao also this definitely isn’t one of MY fantasies 👀 you have no proof!!

[littlxpxtal]

Therefore I Am

TYRANTS || STORY MASTERLIST PAIRING: rafe cameron x fem!reader WARNINGS: MDNI 18+ Content, swearing, sexual content, drug and alcohol use, violence WORD COUNT: 3.7K

Don't talk 'bout me like how you might know how I feel

Top of the world, but your world isn't real

Your world's an ideal

So, go have fun

I really couldn't care less

And you can give 'em my best, but just know

I'm not your friend or anything, damn

You think that you're the man

November

“Okay so I made this cute ass invite on this website and you can send it out as a text blast.” Sabrina explains to me as we walk to first period together. 

“Sab who are you planning on inviting?” I ask. She was keen on throwing me a huge blowout for my 18th. I had gotten better at making friends on Figure 8 but there was a pit of doubt inside me that anyone would actually show up.

“We have to invite everyone whos anyone. Adn they’ll forsure come cus we haven’t had a big rager since Halloween. Everyone is fiending for a party. And everyone is talking about how cool you are.” I roll my eyes at this last declaration.

“No they are not Sab what are you even talking about.” I ask before we walk into the classroom.

“You’ve really impressed everyone at all of my pregames, and even Rafe’s friend group thinks you’re cool. Everyones obsessed with your style, and are dying to know why you’ve spent the last three years wasting time on the cut.” she whispers as we take our seats.

“How do you even know Rafe’s friends like me?” I pull out my history book and homework, feeling my face flush at the thought of them talking about me.

“Just trust me I know.”

“You know, I’m inviting my friends from the cut.” I say with a straight face, dreading her response.

“Y/N … Why would you do that?” she asks, pulling out her supplies.

“Cus they’re my friends. If it’s my party I should be able to invite whoever I want.” I state matterof factly. 

“That may cause some problems.” she mumbles before the bell rings. “Im sending the text blast out at lunch. If there’s anyone you dont want there let me know, or else its going to my entire contacts list.” she hisses to me before the teacher starts taking attendance. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I adjust the strapless black mini dress on my chest, fidgeting with the zipper on the side before Sabrina walks into my room. 

“People are going to start coming in 10 are you ready yet?” she asks, holding a red solo cup out to me.

“Yea, just gotta put on my lipstick. Whats this?”

She smirks and walks over to my full length mirror.

“A concoction just for the birthday girl.” she teases, pulling out her phone to take a picture.

“Get in this with me.” she says. I pose in the mirror with her and take a small sip of the drink, practically choking.

“What the fuck is in this Sab?” I ask, stuggling to keep myself from yakking.

“My version of a tequila sunrise. Mostly tequila.” she says sweetly, taking a sip form her own cup.

“Yea I can tell.” The doorbell rings and my eyes widen.

“I’ll get it. Hurry up!” she exclaims, running out of my room. I take a deep breath and take the berry shade of lipstick I bought for tonight out and start applying in the mirror. I decide to take a selfie of myself, admiring the way the dress fit around my curves. 

Somehow Sabrina convinced my parents to let me have this party at my place and got them out of town for the weekend. They were easily convinced by her sweet talk, and were encouraged by the fact that I had been making friends at Kildare Academy. They were more than happy to give Sabrina and me their credit card to buy decorations and even allowed us to use some of the liquor from their cabinet. 

I made my way up the stairs to see the living room was starting to fill with familiar faces I had seen in the hallways. I admired my house filled with helium balloons and silver streamer curtains. The room was illuminated with a large disco ball and LED lights. The DJ started playing music in the backyard.

“I think we’re gonna have a big turn out.” Sabrina says when she finally reaches me.

“Do these people actually know what they’re even here for?”

“Of course they do. I even made a card box for people to give you gifts.”

“Sabrina, I don’t want any of these peoples money.” I say confused.

“These people come from old money its practically tradition. Plus theyre drinking the booze we bought so its like an entry fee.” she says giggling and grabbing my hand, leading me to the backyard.

“You got the playlist I sent right?” she asks the DJ. I recognized him immediately, he was a barista at the cafe I always went to when I used to hang in the cut. He smiles softly at me and I thank him for being here tonight. 

“There’s the birthday girl!” I hear someone shout from the backdoor. I turn around to see Topper, Kelce, Rafe a group of random girls surrounding them. He’s holding a handle of Titos up in the air.

“TOP!” Sabrina exclaims, dragging me over to greet them.

“Happy birthday Y/N” he says, greeting me in a hug. “This is for you, from all of us.” he says handing me the large bottle. I stare at in shock and laugh.

“Thanks guys.” I respond. Before I can greet Kelce or Rafe, Sabrina takes the bottle from my hands.

“Shots?” she asks the group. The guys cheer in response and she leads them back inside the the kitchen where the cups were.

“Happy birthday.” Rafe whispers in my ear, trailing right behind me. I feel goosebumps rise on my arms. “You look good.” he murmurs as we reach the counter.

“TO Y/N” Sabrina declares and we raise the shot glasses up to the cieling

“TO ME!” I Cheer before downing the shot. I hiss at the burning in my throat and squeeze my eyes closed. 

More people fill into my living room and start piling into the backyard. I’m greeted with hugs and fist bumps from people I vaguely remember, they thank me for inviting them and I have to pretend like I’m the one who even made the invite in the first place. 

I finally check my phone for the first time since people started arriving.

Sarah Cameron

We’re pulling up in a sec

I smile at my phone and scan the room to see if they’ve arrived.

“You waitin on someone?” I hear Rafe ask from behind me.

“Yea Sarah’s comin.” I say without looking back at him. 

“I assume that means the clowns will be making an appearance as well.” he asks, finally standing next to me, his arm brushing against my shoulder.

“Play nice it’s my birthday.” I remind him, taking a sip from my birthday concoction.

“Long as they play nice too.” he responds before walking off. I roll my eyes and scan the room again. They still weren’t anywhere in sight, so I walk off to mingle with my guests.

I find a familiar face in the sea of people and make my way to him.

“Hi Noah.” I say, interrupting his conversation with a girl I had never seen befroe.

“Hey Y/N . Happy birthday!” he says before pulling me into a hug. It lingers for a little too long and I feel my cheeks blush when he finally releases me. 

“This is a great party. Much better than my 18th.” he says, standing close and leaning down to be eye level with me.

“Whadid you do for yours?” I ask, trying to hide my disgust as I take another sip from the drink Sab made me.

“I had the flu. I had to go to the hospital and everything.” he says shurgging his shoulders.

“Damn that sounds awful. You can pretend tonights your birthday if you want.” I say, trying to cheer him up. I feel his eyes scan my body up and down and he inches closer.

“Well I know what I would want for my present.” he whispers. I bite my lip and giggle.

“Cute” I say in response. From the corner of my eye I spot JJ and I run towards him.

“JJ!” I shriek, throwing myself into his arms. He lifts me up and spins me around.

“Happy birthday doll. You have hella friends now huh?” he asks giving me a quick kiss on the cheek.

“I dont know half of these people. Sabrina just invited them.” I say in response. He smirks and scans the room.

“Whos the dude who was practically eye fucking you?” he says, I glance over to see he’s giving a death glare to Noah.

“Kid I know from Kook academy.” I shrug.

“BIRTHDAY GIRL!” Kiara shouts, popping up from behind JJ.

“Kie!” I squeeze her with all my might. I feel a rush of excitement fill my body as people I actually knew and loved were finally here. John B and Pope pile into our hug.

“Where’s Sarah?” 

“She went looking for you. Looks like she ran into her brother though.” John B says, nudging his head over towards the back of the kitchen. I direct the group to follow me, leading them through the crowd of people stuffed into my living room. I trip over a ballon on the floor, and feel an arm reach out to help me gain my balance. I look up to see its Rafe.

“Thanks” I mumble, pulling my arm away from his grip. I direct my attention away from him and smile at Sarah

“Happy birthday girl! I heard Rafe got you a present and I think it’s only appropriate that we indulge.” she says, wiggling her eyebrows and holding up the half empty handle of titos up at me.

She fills up shots enough for everyone including Rafe. His body is blocking me from being in the circle, so I shove past him, forcing my way into the center. 

I look at Kiara and smirk, “arriba! abajo! al centro! pa dentro!” We cheer. The group finishes the shot and I find myself brave from the liquid courage I had just been given. I pull a chair out from behind the counter and stand on top of it.

“THANK YOU FOR COMING AND CELEBRATING MY 18TH WITH ME!” I Shout to the crowd of people in the kitchen and dining area. “LETS GET FUCKED UP!” I shout.

Pope hands me a Natty Lite from his book bag and I tip it to its side, cracking the bottom open with my teeth. For a second I realize my inner pogue is coming out. But I decide I didn’t give a fuck. It was my fucking birthday. 

I crack open the can and inhale the beer in 3 chugs. I crush the can with my hand and toss it out into the crowd. The room erupts in cheers and I turn around to my friends seeing their shocked yet excited expressions on their faces.

“Lets fucking dance.” I say. JJ walks up to the chair and puts out his arms.

“Lets go dance princess.” he says, pulling me down into his arms, placing me softly on the ground. I grab his hand,  leading them to the backyard where the DJ began blasting the Pursuit of Happiness remix. 

The backyard area is filled with people already dancing. I squish us into the center of the crowd and notice that Rafe and his friends decided to join. 

I feel my body moving along to the beat, not giving a care in the world, sticking my hands up in the air and letting the crowd's movements take me around the circle. Dancing face to face with Sarah, her back against John B’s.

Our bodies are squeezed together and I slowly grind against hers before I’m pushed to the side and end up in front of Kiara. She’s dancing against Pope and I remember I need to ask her how that situation is coming along. Before I can lean into ask, my body is moved again to be in the center of the circle.  I take a few steps back to the beat and spin around.

Losing my balance, I end up with my back pressed against a tall figure. His arms softly grab my hips. If I didn’t know any better I would assume it was JJ. But I look over to see him standing in between John B and Pope. I crane my neck to look and see its Rafe, with a slight smirk on his face. 

I decide to play along, turning my body to face his. His hands move furth up my back, running them up and down as I grind my body against his. I keep my eyes closed, refusing to make eye contact with him, trying to show that I would dance with literally anyone like this. I wrap my hands up around his neck and jump around to the beat before the song stops and there’s silence amongst the crowd. I drop my hands from his neck and whip my head towards the DJ, and see Sabrina standing up there with a lit up cake.

She grabs a microphone from the DJ and begins singing Happy Birthday to me. I feel my face get hot and body tense, realizing that everyone was staring at me, singing along in unison. My worst nightmare. She makes her way through the crowd, everyone making a path for her to reach me. 

When she finally does the song is almost over and I feel tears brimming in my eyes. Mainly becomes I’m so drunk and overwhelmed with anxiety from what was happening. 

“Make a wish!” I close my eyes and blow the candles out. The crowd erupts into a cheer and the DJ starts up a new song, everyone returning back to where they were before the serenading.

“I hate you.” I say, as we walk to the kitchen.

“Noooo you love me. And look at all these people here for YOU.” I give her side hug as she places the cake on the counter.

“Thanks for doing this for me.” I say. She turns to face me with a large grin spread across her face. “I’m glad we met.”

“Stop being sappy and go back out and dance.” she says, pushing me towards the back door.

“I have to pee first” I say, making my way towards the basement door. I make my way down the stairs to my room. After finishing my business I walk back into my room and see Rafe inspecting my bookshelf.

“What the fuck are you doing in here?” I ask, startled at his intrusion.

He doesn't respond, just glances over, eyeing my body up and down before picking a book off of the shelf. 

“You read a lot of fiction.” he states.

I walk over and grab the book out of his hand. 

“I asked you a question.” I place the book back in its place and turn to face him.

“I was curious.” he says, shrugging.

“Okay, well I’d like you to leave now.” I say pointing towards the door.

“No you don’t,” he says, stepping closer to me. So close I can smell his cologne. It was woody yet musky. Dior Sauvage I would guess, making a mental note to check it out at the mall next time I got the chance. 

“You say that like you know what I want.”

“Cause I do.” he says, staring down into my eyes.

“Who the fuck do you think you are?”

“I’m Rafe fucking Cameron. And you’re just some girl who has a birthday party with kids she doesnt even know. I see right through you.”

“Im not just some girl, who do you think you are talking to me like that?” I feel rage flowing through my body and I take a step closer, our chests practically touching. His chest is rising with deep breaths and I glance at his hands that are balled into fists.

“You think you’re hot shit now that you hang with kids on figure 8. But they won’t forget where your loyalties lie. You proved it tonight by inviting your fucking pogues.” I roll my eyes.

“Is that what this is about? Cus I invited my best friends? They’re just people Rafe. You and your loser friends only care about labels. We’re not even fucking friends why are you here if you’re so hung up on who I invited?” 

“You think anyone would be here if I wasn’t?” I scoff at his arrogance.

“God you’re so full of yourself. Get a grip.” 

Everything happens in an instant. His body moves forcefully against mine, pushing me into my closet door. I wince at the abrupt force. His arms are planted on the door above my head and he dips his face to meet mine.

“You're not as cool as you think you are pretty girl. You can stand on a table and shotgun all the beers you want. You can dance like a fucking slut at any party but that’s all anyone gonna remember you by. A party girl with no personality.” I feel tears well in my eyes at his bitter words.

“You act like your entire personality isnt partying. You live in a fucking fantasy world where its cool to do coke and fuck random girls like its a well respected hobby. You don’t know shit about my personality because I would never let someone like you know anything about me.” I spit back.

He stands silent for a second, his breathing hard and heavy. My eyes meet his, tears no longer threatening to spill over. All I feel is hot rage and red staring into his blue eyes. His right-hand moves from above my head to grip the back of my neck. He pauses as if he's second-guessing his next move.

Before I can think of a response his mouth collides with mine. I melt into his touch, tasting the liquor shared between our breath and his cool tongue grazing over my bottom lip. Reluctantly I let out a groan, frustrated that he was a good kisser. He moves his mouth aggressively against mine, pushing me hard against the wall. My hands finally move from my sides up into his hair giving a slight tug. 

He finally releases his grip from the back of my neck and I gasp out trying to catch my breath when I hear screaming from outside. I decided it would be quicker to get to the back through the sliding door in my room that leads to a small patio on the side of the house. I run out and around the house to see a commotion happening on the dance floor.

My breath hitches and goosebumps rise across my body as I realize what is happening. Rafe trails behind me as I get closer to the group of people fighting, seeing JJ and Pope getting kicked around on the ground

“WHAT THE FUCK” I screech, pushing through the crowd, trying to pull the guys off of my friends. I turn around to Rafe.

“HELP ME” I ask, He runs his hands through his hair, contemplating on what he should do

“Please” I beg before turning around to try and pick JJ off the ground. I turn around to see Rafe grab the idiot off of Pope and help Pope stand up.

“PARTYS OVER” He roars across the crowd. The DJ instantly turns off the music and I see Sabrina running over to the scene. I’m holding JJ up with my arms as he limps over with blood smeared across his face. 

“JJ what happened? Where’s Sarah and John B?” I ask. I then realize JJ is drunk out of his mind and cant even look straight. 

I turn around to see Pope is sitting on a chair with Rafe standing next to him.

“Pope what happened, where is everyone?”

The crowd starts to clear and I tug JJ along to sit next to Pope.

“They went looking for you and some kooks started talking shit about us being here and…” he trails off. “Sorry to ruin your birthday Y/N”

“I know its your birthday n all but I really dont think these people wanted us here.” JJ finally says.

“No shit.” I hear John B saying behind me.

“There you guys are. What the fuck happened I left for 5 minutes and these fools are getting curb stomped?”

“These are your new fucking friends lets remember that” JJ Says, finally standing. “Look, we love you Y/N. But its not a good idea for us to be comin to any of these events again.” he says harshly.

“But I wanted you guys here.”

“And we wanted to be here to support you but, JJs right Y/N. Its never a good outcome for us to be in Figure 8.” John B says, pulling Pope off of the chair. “Lets go guys.”

I stand there feeling hopeless. I wasnt allowed back on the cut, and if my friends wouldnt come to my side of the island, I would never see them.

“But- but” I stammer. 

Sabrina interrupts the moment tugging my arm to face her.

“Hey, I’m gonna go but I’ll be back in the morning to help you clean okay?” Sabrina says, nudging her head over to the top of the patio where the DJ was standing there, with all his stuff packed up. “He’s gonna walk me home.” she says with a smirk. 

“Okay I’ll see you.” I turned to realize my friends were making their way towards the front door. 

“Guys please dont leave.” I plead catching up with them.

“We gotta get them home Y/N,” Kie says, holding Popes hand. 

“I’ll text you when were back okay? I hope you had a good birthday.” she says, giving me a kiss on my cheek and opening the front door.

“I’ll see you soon okay?” Sarah says, giving me a tight squeeze before walking out with the rest of them. I watch them walk down my driveway, feeling defeated and angry. 

I turn around and slam the front door shut, looking around the room to see a mess of red solo cups, streamers and popped balloons all over the floor. I rip my heels off my feet and walk towards my basement door before I hear the back door slide open.

“I don’t think we were finished.”

Previous Chapter | Instagram AU | Next Chapter

[onlyjaeyun]

idk if you do requests, but could we get a pt.2 to the daddy? sorry sunghoong text fic where they have that talk he was texting abt ? you can disregard this if you dont want to do it, i totally understand 💕

this is the ask nonie's referring to btw!

— cw: dvddy kink, light dd/lg dynamics, implied phone s3x

honestly i think if there's one thing about sunghoon is the fact he's very open when it comes to you. he trusts you and knows he can always talk to you about whatever's on his mind, it doesn't matter what it's about, if he feels like talking to you about it (which is most of the time) he does not hesitate to do so.

however, kink talks aren't on the list of daily things to talk about, so he's not quite sure how to bring it up. every since you texted him that first "daddy?" sunghoon's been struggling to think about anything but you and the thought of hearing you actually use that title for him.

hoon never really expected himself to be into it because he simply never considered you to actually have a thing for it, so he's not really sure if you are, since you were actually just messing with him.

he attentively listens to your cute little story about your day with your best friend, loving the way you go into detail about basically everything, even which flavour of boba you had, which is why he hates himself for wanting to bring your texts from earlier up so bad.

once you're done, hoon's determined to ease you into it because he doesn't want to make you uncomfortable, but the mere possibility of you being into it just as much as he is, drives him insane. he's been rock hard the whole day and the fact this all happened when he's literally away from you for the first time for this long feels like destiny's laughing at him.

"hoonie? are you there? or did you fall asleep on me again?", you chuckle and sunghoon almost loses himself in the sweet tone of your voice; he can't stop thinking about how good you sound when you cum for him.

"i'm here, baby", he replies calmly, adjusting his boxers in hopes of somehow getting rid of his raging hard on, yet fails miserably and hisses the second he accidentally nudges the tip with his hand, "got lost in my thoughts, that's it."

"you sound tired, my love, do you wanna head to sleep?"

"no", he's way too quick with his response, eliciting another row of chuckles from you and this time sunghoon simply can't stop the words from spilling out.

"are you into it?" he asks and hates how a beat of absolute silence follows, because it lets him know you're more than aware what he's referring to and he feels a weird tightness spreading in his chest in response to your lack of.

"are you into it, sunghoon?" is the only thing you reply and are actually surprised to hear the sound of a deep grunt from the other line, the noise instantly shooting a jolt of arousal through your body.

"i never thought i would be", your boyfriend mumbles and you feel excitement fill your chest, "but i – fuck, baby i want it so bad."

the moment the profanity falls past your usually so composed boyfriend's lips, you let out the breath you didn't realise you were holding in and subconsciously start pressing your thighs together.

"you want me to call you daddy?"

there's not a lot you expected to hear in response to your question, yet nothing could have prepared you for the deep groan filling your ears.

"yes, baby", sunghoon's lost every bit of patience he had left, fingers firmly wrapped around his length, stroking himself to the thought of your perfect body, your sweet voice and the feeling of your pretty cunt the only thing on his mind.

"i want it, too", you whisper shyly, sighing softly when you finally push your pj shorts down your legs to expose your drenched cunt to the cold air in your room, "have been thinking about it for so long."

"fuck, angel girl, you're going to drive me crazy", sunghoon's voice is now raspy and strained, the firm sounds of his hand meeting his hips as he fucks his fist like a man gone mad easily sending chills down your body, "be a good girl for daddy and cum with me, yeah? i need it so bad, baby."

and how could you deny a reaquest this sweet, right?

[glossykissies]

I DO I DO IDO!!!!! i love jeff he’s so 🤭🤤

seriously yall should search him up on pinterest there are so many good bts photos

okie dokie hehe… unfinished jeff winger from community fic below da cut …. not written in my usual style so i’m just dumping it here :p ♡ p.s it’s like 90% group banter 10% jeff and also reader replaces annie in this universe … sorry !

When the group first came together, no one was sure how to feel about you. Sugary sweet, skirts and dresses that made Shirley clutch her pearls at the length and Britta go on long winded rants about how you were ‘setting feminism back’. You didn’t seem to care about what anyone thought, which was admirable — and with time as the study group bonded, they grew to love you for all that you were. They even dropped the nickname ‘Princess’ on you, which had started to crop up more than your own name.

You sit happily, watching the usual banter occur around the table of the study room. “Okay you can’t just make movie references that no one gets and then look at me like I’m the idiot.” Jeff complains to Troy, leaning back carelessly in his seat— study book long abandoned on the table.

“I got it.” Abed states, turning his body in his seat to address his best friend. “Rugrats movie.” He points, and Troy rewards him with a high five.

“Seriously?” Jeff deadpans, looking around for support. “Abed watching a movie no one else on Earth cares about doesn’t surprise me, but are all of you really gonna sit there and act like you got the joke?” He accuses smugly.

“The rugrats movie is not niche. You’re just mad ‘cos you’re too old to understand the things we grew up with.” Britta leans forward with a malicious smirk. Jeff narrows his eyes, equally leaning forward at the foot of the table to rest his elbows on the sleek surface.

“Britta, the other day I watched you ask the bartender to ID you. Stop acting like you fit the bracket of the younger members of our group.”

She gasps, gearing up for another insult before you interject, doodling a heart on your notebook with pink glitter gel pen, distracted. “I’ve never seen it.”

“See, thank you.” Jeff raises a hand to gesture towards you in positive acknowledgment.

“Its an older show. Kids my age didn’t really watch that.” You shrug and his hand drops.

“Oh, right. I momentarily forgot you were born like last week and probably learnt your ABCs on an iPad. You are immediately disqualified from joining this argument.”

The conversation is broken up before it can progress into a full fledged argument, your phones text tone dinging with an adorable bird tweeting sound that made Shirley tilt her head in that motherly way and say ‘Aw.’ The group watches as your face falls, brow knitting at whatever you read.

“Whats up?” Troy questions, leaning forward.

“My dad texted me…” You respond, distracted and refusing to remove your eyes from your screen. There’s a short silence, before Jeff pipes up.

“Oh, sorry — I guess we were all waiting for you to give context without being asked. What’s wrong with your dad?” The ex-lawyer dramatises, pushing the conversation along. You shake your head, clearly moved by the whole ordeal and finally put your phone down.

“He was terrible to me growing up. You guys probably haven’t noticed but it gave me a miriad of issues I’m still working through to this day.” You bow your head humbly.

“Dont have to tell us twice, daddy issues am I right?��� Pierce cuts through rudely with a joke, causing heads to whip around and glare his way.

“Pierce! She is bravely opening up about her trauma! Don’t be so insensitive!” Britta scolds before reaching across the table to rub your forearm in support, albeit coming across the slightest bit condescending.

“Tough nuts! I’ve got trauma too, when do any of you ever ask me about that?” The old man defends.

“Oh yeah? What old white dude trauma have you got that we should care about?” Troy twists his body argumentatively. Abed lifts a finger to interject.

“Pierce describes everything as trauma. They ran out of mini-pringles at the vending machine on Tuesday and he said the whole thing gave him PTSD.”

“I need my salt!” Pierce is quick to retaliate. The whole group seem to burst into meaningless argument for possibly the third time that day, and as quickly as it began your issue quickly faded into the background. Cursed with being observant, Jeff watches your sweet sullen face fall as you choose to stare at your hands instead, too burdened with your own issues to focus on the debate occurring. He sighs, knowing he must be the fixer.

“Hey, everyone shut up!” He raises his voice above the argument, the group obediently falling into silence as they always did, looking to him for the next demand. He presses his lips together reluctantly before turning to you, tilting his head sympathetically the same way you could to a puppy or a sick child. “What can we do to help?”

You glance around unsurely, stressed in a cute and doe eyed way that could only be mimicked by Disney princesses. “Oh, well… I’m not so sure. My dad said he’s coming to visit me for a few days and I just don’t know what to say to him. He’s always so mean and I never know how to defend myself, I always just go silent and take it. I’ll probably just hide when he arrives or something.”

“No, no— we don’t hide from assholes who made our lives hell. When is he coming?” Jeff shakes his head, sitting up in his seat. As much as he pretended to be aloof, he was already more invested than anyone.

“This weekend…”

“Alright,” He claps his hands decidedly. “Come over to my place tomorrow, I’m gonna coach you through dealing with this dick-for-brains. By the time I’m done with you there’s not gonna be a dad within a ten mile radius of this place that doesn’t fear the wrath of our little pink princess.” He reaches over and pets your back fondly making you straighten up in your seat, the motivated smile on your face already making Jeff feel better about the situation.