#dont call them that lol call them drill sergeant

[smalleststress]

Hi. I leave for BCT very soon. I will also be at Fort Jackson. How was it? I’m getting extremely nervous as the date approaches. Anything that you can tell me that you wish you knew? Any tips at all would be great.

Hmm, that’s a good question. Keep reading if you want my advice on basic, as someone who completed it recently. In summary, it was rough but worth it.

(Every fort is different so if you are not going to go to Fort Jackson this might differ slightly)

About Basic

+ I didn’t know this when I went, I thought I was going straight to basic but there is a period beforehand before you go to basic that involves very elementary training. How to stand, how to March, all of those things are taught during this time though you definitely get better at them in Basic. The name of it is escaping me now but before basic when you ship off you’ll go there (it’s in the same state, and it will give you a light taste of what basic will be like). Basic is very difficult physically during the beginning.

+ Make sure your hair is in the requirements before you go. Males get their hair buzzed off so it doesn’t really matter but make sure to shave your face or get a profile for it if your face gets super irritated. Females with hair below their collar, yall better have perfected that tight ass bun or have your hair cut the right way above the collar. You can look up the exact requirements online but I cut my hair down so I wouldn’t have to bother with it, waking up is hard enough much less having to put your hair in a bun every single time. Females cant shave their entire head like the guys, so make sure you look up appropriate short hair cuts ( yes, ik its bullshit but its an old regulation)

+ If you don’t know your soldier’s Creed and those types of things ( you can Google search them, they’ll pop right up if you look up BCT requirements) because DS will ask you and you don’t wanna be the person that gets everyone messed up because you don’t know it fully. Know your APFT requirements. I would say make sure you can get close to them but if you have left soon don’t worry about it, they’ll get you there if you do the punishments right and work out. Use those foam rollers!!

+ Drink waaatterr! (You’ll get it after)

This is going to sound stupid but seriously drink water, some DS will be annoying and not want you to drink on the drill floor unless you are told so but usually it’s okay. Don’t be the person that faints because of heatstroke. You’re going around the time I did, which was in August, so the start of BCT will be hot but once you are in AIT it will start getting colder.

+ This sounds like common sense but you’ll be surprised how uncommon it is once you get there, don’t argue with a DS.

Just don’t. Unless it’s something serious that you could get held back for, just let it go. If they call you dumb? Ignore it. Call you slow? Ignore it. Work on that poker face, they are just trying to get a rise out of you or see you break. Accuse you of sleeping in class when you were looking at your fingers? Don’t fight it.

Most of the time, they are just looking for someone to argue with them and if you just agree your punishment is not that bad or you might not get punished at all or just get a lecture.

+ Sunday mornings are for religious times and the DS are not allowed to plan activities during that allowed time or punish you ( they can make you stand outside for hours tho so don’t use it as something to fall back on)

If you don’t want/need to go to church, use this time to write to family and friends, do hygiene ( not showering because you can’t leave quickly from that if y'all get called down), some people shave their legs (tbh I didn’t care no one is trying to impress anyways), some people draw or write. If you are going to try to take a nap, don’t do it on your cot or anywhere where a DS can walk in and immediately see you. No one wants to get in trouble because someone was sleeping, if someone is and you hear a DS coming, wake them the fuck up.

Church wise, I went a couple of times even though I’m not religious, to see a friend of mine who was in a different unit because everyone goes to the same churches for different services, including those it AIT. Don’t be dumb and try to use someone’s phone you will get caught, don’t be dumb and try to give someone your phone to use you will get caught. Other then that, the Spanish Christian church is the best in my opinion. Though I only know a bit of Spanish I had a wonderful time and most in translated into English anyhow. It’s absolutely lovely to see people singing and dancing, waving flags and having a good time after such a stressful previous week.

I can’t tell you where to sleep to not be seen in the barracks but I’m sure you’ll figure that out on your own.

+ If you wear a bra and have to wear one if you are doing physical exercise, wear one to bed. It may be really uncomfortable but if you are woken up in the middle of the night to be punished because someone was sleeping on fireguard, you’ll be happy you aren’t running around without one.

+Help clean your barracks! Don’t be that person that gets everyone fucked up because you don’t know how to hospital fold your bed corners, clean up sand from off the floor or you slacked off during your fireguard shift and everyone gets woken up to be punished. Make sure your uniform is correct and your name tags are on the right side before going out ( I remember it as the Army tag goes over your heart, left side.). Tuck in your shirt if you are in the PT uniform, and make sure your battle buddies aren’t fucked up, because if you don’t check them, a DS will and then no one will be happy cuz you’ll be punished for not looking after one another.

+ If basic is anything, it’s a group effort. No platoon is perfect, and yes your going to have people that you want to smack upside the head, but try as much as you can to help out (especially on obstacle courses, tall people I’m talking to you) and make sure your platoon isn’t the one that DS keep on having to call out for being fucked up.

+ Dear gods, please remember to call the drill floor to stand at attention when a high ranking officer walks up if you see them. You can look up exactly what ranks but please do it for the sake of your platoon. Go to parade rest when you are talking to anyone else or you’ll get punished for it

+ Never go anywhere alone! If you have to discuss something private or sensitive with a DS, still take a battle buddy. The battle buddy system is a real thing and not only helps you create stronger bonds but can really save your ass if you forget something and they remember.

+ DS are going to be the meanest people you’ve ever met for the first phase (red) but you’ll get to know their personalities later on, most stay stern but it isn’t as bad. If you have an issue that could be life-threatening or dangerous, tell them. There is no DS that would want to see their soldier fall because of something that could have been prevented.

+ Only use sick hall if you are really sick! Try not to use it during any training events, especially days where you are going to the shooting range. If you miss even one time at the shooting range, it can really mess you up for any future shooting range events. I missed one and had to get my weapon fixed while everyone else was already qualifying. Clean your damn weapon! Either 

+ Not everything is a requirement to pass basic, I don’t want to tell you what isn’t as you should try your best on everything but number one most important thing that you will get held back for if you don’t pass is the last APFT. You’ll know which one it is because it will be right before the forge, a battle buddy of mine was held back because of it and had to go to an entirely different unit (some people weren’t given a second chance because they did so horribly on it but most were) to take it again and had to go to the forge with them.

+ Don’t! Fraternize! I don’t care if you haven’t had someone kiss you since you were a baby, you can wait till your out of basic! I cannot tell you how many people got caught and messed up for that. If you think writing notes to each other is a good idea, don’t. If you think writing in a journal about them is a good idea, don’t. Those people always get caught, and this goes for gay people too. Y'all are a little less obvious but I cannot tell you how stressful it is for someone to be sleeping in someone else bed when you are on fireguard and you see the DS come in. Don’t be that person. You can get thrown out of basic for it, it isn’t worth your military career. Don’t even touch people of the other sex, even if you are gay, don’t give the DS any reason to try and call you out on it.

+Find friends of the same athletic or slightly better caliber as you. Train with them during free time in the later phases (though you won’t want to) run with them on the APFT test, don’t talk in formation on the frill form with them but carry a conversation when you are allowed to. It helps the time go by and you all can vent to one another about how basic sucks. I’m still friends with the people I went with ( not all of them of course, some people are just irritating and you have to learn to ignore them) and I even went to the wedding of one. We send each other mail and sometimes presents if we hear someone is feeling down since some are active army and others are National guard so we are split up everywhere.

+ While the start of basic is difficult mostly physically and a bit of a culture shock, the last couple of weeks are mentally draining to the core. Once you finish the forge, you will want to get out of there like nothing else. Try to be patient, it’s more difficult then it sounds but this is where most people mess up and screw their training even though they only have a matter of days left. It’s temporary and you will be out before you know it, even if it feels like an eternity spent with these people. I can still name the people who pissed me off and it’s been months and months since I left.

After Basic

+ AIT is better, but it’s still going to be training in the military. I can only speak about fort Jackson AIT because I went there for that as well (42 Alpha, yay). Just because you can get coffee at the DFACT doesn’t mean a DS won’t punish you for doing dumb shit.

Don’t miss the fireguard briefing in AIT, the DS come up in different punishments all the time so don’t be the one they experiment on. One time I and my roommates along with other people stood out in the cold for literally hours waiting for the DS because we missed the briefing and he left us there until he felt like we had learned our lesson. Not the worst punishment but damn if I wasn’t shaking like a leaf.

+ It does get better. I can’t speak for active or reserve, but the unit that I am with now, have some of the nicest people I’ve ever met and I could not be happier. It will be more relaxed (I’m sure active and reserve are to different degrees) and far more friendly than training so don’t stress too much when you eventually leave training and go to your unit.

Things to keep in mind.

It doesn’t last forever. Don’t become unmotivated because you know you have a lot of time still, it sucks ass sometimes but keep your chin up and keep going. Stopping only slows down the process ( unless you are really hurt or need help please don’t hesitate. I waited too long on an injury and I have to do physical therapy for it so stay safe friends)

You won’t see these people forever. While that can be sad in some ways, it’s also a relief as well. They are temporarily in your life, so try and manage not lashing out at them even if you believe they deserve it. No one benefits from extra stress in training so don’t be a source of it.

Sometimes letters take a while to send. Don’t become upset because no one has sent you a letter yet, I got mine faster then my friend in that state did and I live in Delaware. Even though the DS will make jokes about it, your family still loves you and are trying to do their best to reach out to you. If you get something serious or awful news do not hesitate to have a private conversation with a DS. They may seem to mean but they care about your well-being and need to be in the know if something is going on that could impair your ability to train as expected.

Keep a journal if you can. If it becomes stressful, don’t. Mine only has entries from some days, and they definitely are sequential, but try it out. If you need to vent by writing,. Use not obvious code words for people, you don’t want a DS reading it and calling you out for it. It’s interesting reading them once it’s all over, good or bad memories included. I have a ton of pages where there are huge inkblots because I fell asleep while writing. Lol

Don’t psych yourself out. Everyone messed up and gets punished at least once even if you fly under the radar. It’s bound to happen and while you shouldn’t try to make it happen, don’t cry over spilled milk.

Don’t cry in front of a DS if they are yelling at you but feel free to just let it out where ever else. Crying can be very therapeutic and even relive stress, don’t feel ashamed of you had a stress cry during lights out from a bad day, you aren’t weak and they are definitely other people doing the same. As someone who used to cry if someone yelled at me, Basic was a learning curve and one hell of one but it’s not impossible to any sense. People completed it before you many times and people will do it after you many times, you can do it.

You will most likely get homesick or at least miss your loved ones. Again, everything is only temporary. Don’t try to end your training early because you want to go home, it won’t happen and it may even prolong your stay. Get it done and over with so you can see your family on family day and go eat some french fries with them.

That’s about all I can think of, I’ll add if I think of anything but once it is over please feel free to shoot me a message saying how it went! We may even have had the same DS or company, who knows. I’ll update this if I think of anything else.

Stay safe future solider and best of luck!

[maschotch]

I know I'm super late on commenting on the scene with hotchs worst qualities but the anon talking about how they categorized hotch as sexist made me want to bring it up again lol.

Like you said, the show has a lot of casual sexism that has to be kind of excused sometimes but it strikes me as so odd that the writers would point out this one specific instance and imply hotch is sexist instead of the many other times on the show.

Like. I love them but Derek and Rossi have way too many sexist moments on the show. Like just plain womanizing or objectifing or slut shaming or anything else. And as a woman it doesn't bother me too much, you kind of have to expect a bit of that from an early 2000s crime show, but it does strike me as odd that the writers would choose to make Hotch the one called out for sexism.

I'll also admit that I'm very very biased because I am a Hotch Girl™️ lol but I don't get him being sexist. I know Emily said it because he didn't trust her as much as the rest of the team, but it's very clear he trusts Penelope and JJ a lot, even Elle before Emily. I think the writers were trying to point out how Emily viewed hotch and how there relationship was weird but it still bothers me a little lol like how is that man sexist.

I can appreciate the writers giving him some character improvement, like going after that one case because he respects and trusts JJ and saying nobody "asks for it" or not to call a r*pe victim lucky and all that but I will never understand that dialouge with the team.

As for the rest of them, dereks comment about him being a drill Sargent makes a little sense but the other two were just. Really wrong if not kind of mean lol. Don't get me startedddd on how wrong the bully comment was. I know you've talked about this scene a lot but I was curious on how legitimate you think the things the team says are

Love being offended on my boring white man's behalf <3

yeah honestly i think that comment is more about emily and his relationship w her at the moment than an actual valid criticism. he still doesnt trust her yet so maybe its easier for her to think that its a general thing rather than admitting he doesnt like her specifically. plus this is right on the heels of jj and hotch ganging up on her and forcing her on the spot with the question of “how come none of this gets to you” like its a less than subtle way of saying “mind your business and dont fucking worry about it.” its an attempt to maybe give him second thoughts when he starts to doubt her—why would he be suspicious unless he didnt trust women???🤔

and tbh i think he knows it too. like i dont think this one bothered him too much bc he knows why shes saying it… he cant bring himself to feel bad for making her feel distant when he still doesnt trust her. hes not sorry for questioning her or doubting her bc she hasnt proven herself in his eyes yet.

tbh i dont think anything the team says is accurate lmao. hes clearly not a bully. i dont even think jj means it necessarily, but its not the first time she’s thought it. hes not even much of a drill sergeant? hes “strict” ig but he does all their paperwork for them, reaches out when one of them is struggling w smth (he stops trying to help so directly after this for a while.. almost like he’s afraid of being overbearing or tyrannical… of being a bully), lets them goof off and have their fun, etc. there are definitely worse bosses who are way more tough and by-the-book. and honestly i dont think derek meant it that way either: i think he was referring to how pushy he can be sometimes—like now when he’s urging them all to name his worst qualities. i think thats what he’s trying to get at anyway

and i almost like it more that none of them quite mean what they say? bc this IS him crossing a line, forcing them to come up with critiques and insult him. his own self doubt and insecurities are getting in the way of being the leader they all know he’s capable of. they scramble to find the closest thing to mind. for jj its the way that she feels small. for morgan its the way hes worried ab hotch demanding for his question to be answered. for emily its ab her own fears and frustrations from him not trusting her. i think it says much more about all of them than it does about him. but i dont think hotch would ever see it that way. he’s gonna take everything to heart—just another type of failing to look out for

[woeismyhoe]

Different anon here but bruh c'mon... abuse is the behaviours and actions of a person not the intention of their actions. It doesnt matter if Azula was tryna be nice and friendly to Mai and Ty Lee, what matters is that she used fear and control to coerce Mai and Ty Lee to do her bidding (like you said) and that is abuse. Doesnt matter why. The army doesnt do this, theres consent and agreement. Pls dont be an abuse apologist... I like your blog :(. I want azula redemption but not like thisss :(.

The definition of abuse (noun):

1. the improper use of something.

2. cruel and violent treatment of a person or animal.

3. (More in-depth) interactions in which one person behaves in a cruel, violent, demeaning, or invasive manner toward another person or an animal. The term most commonly implies physical mistreatment but also encompasses sexual and psychological (emotional) mistreatment.

And then the psychological definition for abusive behavior:

1. Emotional abuse is a way to control another person by using emotions to criticize, embarrass, shame, blame, or otherwise manipulate another person. In general, a relationship is emotionally abusive when there is a consistent pattern of abusive words and bullying behaviors that wear down a person's self-esteem and undermine their mental health.

And this is from ReachOut.com:

“If you feel scared or confused around your partner, or doubt yourself when you’re talking with them, you may be experiencing emotional abuse. An emotional abuser’s goal is to undermine another person’s feelings of self-worth and independence. In an emotionally abusive relationship, you may feel that there is no way out or that without your partner you’ll have nothing. Emotional abuse is a form of domestic and family violence.”

The intention of the abuser and how it affects the victim is relevant. The actions that the previous anon you’re referring to can all be displayed by any person at any time whenever they’re angry or just petty, but the triggers of it widely differs from abusers. People say mean things or blame you when they explode under a lot of stress. An abuser doesn’t need to be under even any stress do this to you. They’ll just destroy your self-esteem whenever you show even a hint of independence. They want control over you. If you think that anyone who has ever been mean to you is abusive, then that means literally everyone in the world is abusive. People aren’t saints. We are all mostly driven by our emotions. The difference between us and abusers is, they aren’t. They’re driven by narcissism and logic instead of their emotions. Whatever works best solely only for their own happiness, they’ll do it because they don’t care about ethics. They basically live only in a ‘ME’ world. And just because abusers are often victims themselves, doesn’t mean they’ve never felt or known what a healthy relationship. They know what a healthy relationship is. They just don’t care.

Now, the abuse in the army. Abuse doesn’t care about consent. Not everything is about consent. You can give your consent to be treated like shit and that’ll still mean that you’re treated like shit and the person who treated you like shit should still be held accountable. The most common abuse in the army is verbal abuse. Definition of verbal abuse: the act of forcefully criticizing, insulting, or denouncing another person.

Examples of sergeants in the army verbally abusing their soldiers is when they call them maggots, scream at them and throw degaratory insults. Technically that is abusive on paper. But in real life with context, that is acceptable behavior and is called Discipline instead because first and foremost, the intention is different. Sergeants verbally abuse their soldiers to train their mental fortitude and to be able to cope under stressful situations. If you mess up during battle, you’re gonna get yourself killed and you’re gonna get your comrades killed. No one will take your bullshit if their life is on the line. If they can’t handle being screamed at while performing a simple task, then how do you expect them to follow even the most basic command while being SHOT at? How do you expect them to not reveal any intel to the enemy when tortured? All soldiers are trained to obey, and this is a fundamental part of being a soldier. Second, drill sergeants do not select who to treat this way. This is how sergeants treat everyone. It becomes abusive when that sergeant does it exclusively to only some people instead of the entire batch for absolutely no reason. If you compare a 21st century war to the Vietnam War or the World Wars or any other war before the 21st, you’ll see that it was actually more ‘abusive’ back then because of forced conscription which made recruits unwilling to fight, hence their superiors being more brutal. Nonetheless, conscription was necessary because of the advantage that manpower gives.

If we only see fear and control as the main indicators of abuse, then that becomes extremely flawed because then everything that pertains to discipline would mean that the whole system is abusive. The army would be abusive, the asian culture of discipline would be abusive, lol you can even call the criminal justice system to be abusive at this point. Context is necessary to put a label on something. Otherwise you’ll be calling someone worse than they actually are.

Azula treated Mai and Ty Lee the same way she treated her soldiers, using fear and control. When she was making a speech in the first episode, that was all fear and control— When she threatened her captain to continue on their journey, that was fear and control, same as how she threatened Ty Lee when she declined her request to assist her. In both of these times, she abused her power as Princess of the Fire Nation because she was doing those things in service of her nation. When she was OFF DUTY, we did not even see a single moment of abusive or disciplinarian behavior from her because in Book 3, none of them were soldiers and their mission was over. They were simply children of the nobility/royalty following their family’s wishes which was to have proper conduct and not dishonor the family.

HOWEVER, despite fear and control being required in war for everything to go as planned and efficiently, that does not mean that it makes it okay, hence why it should still be labelled as toxic. When someone is being treated like a property for their own personal gain, that is abuse. When someone is being treated like shit for that someone’s own good, that is toxic. The military culture can be seen as abusive if you compare it to society norms, but the thing is that soldiers are trained to incapacitate the enemy in the first place, and prepared to kill if needs be. And there is nothing normal about that. At best the military culture is toxic, but really that’s irrelevant at this stage because of the shootings.

What makes Azula toxic is how she prioritized the mission’s success over her friends welfare despite them having not been enlisted in the military (so they had the right to decline), thinking she knows what’s better for Ty Lee because she believed she was wasting her time in the circus, and then abusing her power to make them obey her. On paper her actions sound abusive, but when given war context, it really isn’t. That was how wars were won. By using fear and control to cultivate motivation. This is generally part of almost every Asian culture, hence the discipline. It’s also noteworthy to consider that the Fire Nation is based on Imperial Japan (and they were terrifyingly loyal and strict). Being abusive implies not caring about the person’s needs and happiness. There is no culture or family or group that can function under abuse because of this. None, but what Azula did is what most have done in the Fire Nation, and she behaved like an ordinary friend when she was off duty. The truth is that being a leader of a military and being a Princess during war is an occupational hazard. The control and fear that she used against her soldiers was also carried onto her friends when she was recruiting them.

And again, it’s canon that Azula did feel remorse and guilt for using fear to control her friends. Her hallucination of Ursa was the manifestation of her guilt, hence why ‘Ursa’ confronted her about her use of fear and control towards everyone. An abusive person doesn’t feel remorse for their actions which is why they’ll just do it again, unlike Azula who actually did feel remorse. That’s also why she acknowledged that she was a monster in The Beach, because she knows that using fear and control makes her horrible, but she still does it anyway because that’s the only security she believes she has. She didn’t use fear to control just her friends, but literally everyone. Abusers will constantly deny and deny confrontations about their abuse and gaslight their victims. Azula literally did the opposite of an abuser.

You cannot and should not separate abusive behavior from an abuser. If that person is abusive, that means they’re an abuser. Abuse is not normal, and you should not normalize it. That’s why being able to differentiate toxicity from abuse is important. In general, you shouldn’t have to put up with all that negative energy so it’s better if you just break off contact with both of these people, but abusers are more dangerous than toxic people. At the very least, toxic people at least will have the willingness to change (this requires you to be really thick skinned and patient if you want to be that toxic person’s therapist yourself), unlike abusers. Toxic people are just stubborn and petty, but they’re not deluded with themselves like abusers. Abusers don’t and rarely rarely ever change. The chances of an abuser ever changing is honestly extremely low because they rarely ever go to therapy themselves since they think they’re the ones in the right.

Things you go for therapy for are things that can be changed because either they realized that their behavior is potentially life threatening to their own, or it hinders them from doing everyday task, or it’s threatening to those around them. But again, like I said, abusers don’t just ‘realize’ that they’re abusive. If they’re confronted about their behavior, they will justify it in ways that will make you doubt yourself and think badly of yourself for making them ‘look’ bad. An abuser HAS a choice, just like murderers and rapists do. And yes, I do hold abusers to the similar lowest caliber of a human being as those criminals because they violate a person’s mental health. Abuse can lead to trauma and sometimes even PTSD, and that often is the case because that is how dangerous an abuser is.

An abuser, abusive person, whatever you want to call them is killing you mentally and emotionally, and you won’t even be aware of it till you’re so far in because you’ve been thinking that was normal behavior. And even if you have identified that your partner is abusive, at this point, you will return to their side several times because you believe that they just need to apologize and it’s all good or just go to therapy which is VERY UNLIKELY to happen or succeed. Very few abusers ever go to therapy and it can take months to years for them to even be remotely trustworthy to never be abusive again.

I’m not condoning abuse, nor am I an abuse apologist. I think it’s been pretty obvious that I loathe abusers. Right now, YOU are actually being the abuse apologist by supporting Azula DESPITE claiming her to be abusive. I want Azula to have a redemption arc too, but NOT if she’s abusive. Abusers don’t deserve a second chance just like Ozai doesn’t. If you still believe that Azula is abusive yet still deserves a redemption, then I don’t see why the same thing can’t be done for Ozai who is a model citizen of abusiveness 101 because since he just had a terrible childhood like his children, he shouldn’t be left out .-.

If you say that Azula is abusive, you are saying that Azula has been relentlessly destroying literally everyones’s self esteem, undermining them, gaslighting, denies that she’s a horrible person, blames everyone for every bad thing that happened to her, feels no remorse for her treatment of her friends, and literally does not care about anyone but herself. In which case, if you support an abusive character, be it fictional or real person, would be extremely harmful and it gives a terrible message to victims of abuse and encourage the behavior of abusers.

The victim of abuse or a third party shouldn’t decide whether the abuser deserves redemption. And it’s definitely not the victim’s responsibility to ‘help’ their abuser get better. That is entirely up to the abuser themselves IF they ever want to change and seek professional help which as you’ve seen in the present ATLAverse, does not exist because those with mental disorders are just sent to mental asylums and locked up in straitjackets with no actual chance of recovery.

Conclusion: If you say that Azula is actually abusive and still think there’s a chance for her, that will never happen because ATLA is not advanced enough yet to understand psychology, much less mental disorders. If you say that Azula is actually abusive and Ty Lee is the one who can help her because she can provide the love and security that Azula has never received, again, wrong and DEFINITELY a terrible message to send.

If you say that Azula is actually abusive, please please please stop liking her because that is disturbing and just so wrong on so many levels. It is WRONG to like an abusive character. It is WRONG to think there’s anything good, admirable or redeemable about an abusive person.

Just.

No.

Not everyone deserves redemption or forgiveness.