#dont blame me just cuz youre dumb

[fanonsupremecy]

When you're watching Dragon Tales but the pirating site crashed not even 5 mins into the first episode and now you wanna cry-

Dragon Tales, Tutenstien, Kenny The Shark and Growing Up Creepie were my core memories and its so sad I can only watch them on pirating sites- 🥺

how can people be mad about pirating sites when sometimes it's the only place you can watch something...

like maybe if yall cared more about cinematic masterpieces I wouldn't be in this situation in the first place.

like even the new monster high series wasn't on any of the platforms that it was advertised to be on... like what do you mean a brand new show could only be found on a pirating site...

Like MATTEL I will throttle you if you continue testing me (also give me season 2. I need more of clawdlaura.)

Edit for update: It's on prime but you have to really search and it's 20 usd per season. And apparently there is a season 2 but there's only 7 eps. Mattel I swear- quit testing me istg. (This is why people fucking pirate i swear and corporations can do this because it's their monopoly. Pun not intended but isn't it funny that the corporation with the biggest monopoly has a game about it. I've NEVER paid 20 for ONE season of a show EVEN when I was buying DVDs of them!)

[untulithed]

so, i haven't seen anyone talking about one of the qualities of DBDa that i don't really enjoy/understand..

as a preface id like to say that i love the show! and it is incredible,, buttt i still wanna be honest with my critique of it (and would love to hear y'all's thoughts about allat too)

there is, at least in my opinion, a pretty big difference in the quality between the show's dialogue and non-dialogue writing

at least for the first 4-ish episodes the dialogue feels very expository (clunky, even) and maybe dumbed-down?

like the first few scenes for example.

Charles and Edwin help the war-ghost, and Edwin tells Charles that they have to go, or else Death will take them too. Ok, a bit too in the face, could have been shown, still not bad.

Then we are actually shown-not-told death's process and the boys hiding. Ok, that kinda defeats the purpose of Edwin telling us allat in the previous moment..

And then we are basically told AGAIN that this is Death and the boys have to run from her.

and like. its a cute moment, Death's part is really good too, so i just dont see the point in other characters spelling it out

but still, i then thought that maybe, its just that the show is more for younger teens. but its not. and like besides all the violent moments, the show has SO MUCH nice and well incorporated detail! and the characters and their storylines are deep and multifaceted!

and even with all that detail and nuance, the dialogue just pretty much ruined some moments for me, even if just in small ways

its like the show expects its audience to notice and understand things so minute you have to rewatch it multiple times to actually notice them, while also not thinking that we can handle basic concepts like "we are ghosts and we run from death"

like The Cat King's clothes matching Charles' socks and his signature color, just to mess with Edwin more, which also means that he watched the boys since they appeared in Port Townsend, which means that him asking who exactly used the magic on that cat was just to get Edwin alone (cuz he already kinda liked him) and to be an even bigger drama queen. i for example didn't notice any of that until someone said it on twitter!

and then the more character-driven/emotional dialogue somehow manages to be both, but that would take another 10 paragraphs to explain so i will gracefully let you do your own analyses <3

in conclusion, i dont know if the writing process is to blame, or the higher ups, or maybe i am too picky, but i needed to rant, so im excited to hear y'all's thoughts on this, and thank you for reading this fully, i may have yapped on too long :D

and a little gif as a reward <3

[danepopfrippery]

Just your every now and then reminder that being against zionism doesnt make you anti semetic, and that Israel being genocidal assholes doesnt mean all Jewish ppl or even all Israelis agree (bibi has a 4% approval rating). In fact the biggest driver of zionism (the belief that Jewish folk should have a homeland in what was Palestine and is now Israel based on a brief win for under 200 years in bce) is american christians who are absolutely wet for the rapture, a belief that isnt even in the bible. And in pitting claimed jewish ppl against the others they dont care who dies cuz anyone not christian wont be part of their afterlife anyway (soooo many good articles on this ive shared many of them).

The #jewish community both religious and secular is at a massive divide and many jewish folk are extremely angry and upset at a genocide being done in their name. Im neither group, was raised fundie rapture christian and am a #pagan anarchist now.

I love my Jews. And if you mistreat someone for being Jewish based on the #gazagenocide thats not okay. Trust me when the chips fall u dont want the world blaming all americans for the evil of a vocal dumb group. Contact your reps! Donate! Vote! Do something of value to #freegaza

[starkid256]

can i rant about how bad 2023 is for me rq?

ok so in the first couple of months of 2023 i was doing great. new year new me amiright. i was chillin on the crk wiki n shit and i wasnt doing very well in school but what can you do the us education system is flawed and nothing can fix it. i made a contest for people to draw strawberry crepe cuz that was the rage and all. once the deadline hit, i was ready to make the prizes.

i hit the biggest fucking roadblock in my life.

i just got hit with the worst burnout and depression i have ever had in my life. it took 11-12 days to write something with 1k words. this depression is still there. it pains me to even attempt to draw or write or anything. whatever, depression like this is very common. eventually, i moved on from the crk wiki and went to comic studio.

oh. comic studio. where do i begin?

to start off, if you dont already know, comic studio is a website to share comics. shocker i know. i met some friends on here from there. some of my moots i met from cs. and yet, it was the worst thing that ever happened to me. there was drama left and right, mainly centering some specific sensitive users that ive blocked on here, there were people sending death threats and threatening to kill themselves every day. and i desperately told them that their lives had value. all of this drama and suicide baiting was absolutely murdering my mental health in cold blood, so when i broke my kindle screen, i had an episode where i nearly killed myself. no one saw. not anyone irl, not anyone online except for a friend who didnt take it seriously. i didnt really draw too much attention to it anyways. btw, all of this was happening while my dad ran off with my now stepmom and was dumb enough to put himself into a mentally abusive relationship. my mom, who i live with, hates those two so much. also my stepmom is queerphobic and has internalized conservativity.

i got tumblr as soon as i got my first phone, near the start of june. i love tumblr with all my heart, but it fucking murders your mental health nearly just as bad as cs. i mean, what do you expect from a website that makes you think that all the problems of the world are your fault? i have met great people here, but it still fucking sucks.

the real nail in the coffin was when a user on comic studio (who i have now blocked on tumblr) made a half baked shitty "callout post" on me. i will say, i did do something wrong that i apologized for afterwards, but everything else was past drama that they brought up even though i had already apologized for all of it. i apologized, and decided that i should leave comic studio. and so i did. keep in mind that all of this has been happening while my main family (which means excluding my dad and step mom) lives paycheck to paycheck.

now flash forward to the present. im on my phone for 14 hours a day on average laying on the couch scrolling through tumblr and watching youtube and playing roblox wishing i was dead. i have no one to blame for this behavior but myself. i would hope that the rest of 2023 is ok, but i already know i will have a horrible rest of the year. yeah this was a rly big rant. ily guys and i hope your 2023 was better than mine.

[rigginsstreet]

Maybe a hot take but I feel like Billy would have been blamed by the fandom for abandoning Max with Neil if he left Hawkins at the end of season 2 to try and save himself for once. He stayed and died for her and Eleven and he's still villainized. He can't win and it's so heartbreaking.

ok so i have complicated feelings about how billy feels about max lmao i know dacre has said billy was protective of her and loved her and fans have come up with their own thesis of how billy was protective of her in his own fucked up way. and i dont... entirely disagree. i just dont know if there was THAT much love to begin with? lmao i think maybe people are afraid to say billys feelings towards max arent that deep and loving. idk ive never had a tight sibling bond with my brother like we get along. now. because we never see each other but like.... hes not.... high up on my list..... ya know.... so. and im sure im not high up on his like he gets along with his other siblings far better than with me. i have no other siblings which is great. anyway i say all this to say, i dont know that billy stayed in hawkins for max. ive always seen it more as he stayed in hawkins because he had no other choice. the amount of times ive gotten into arguments with people who were like “well he couldve just left!” ... you are stupid. you are dumb. and i dont feel like i need to explain myself on that

of course i think at the end his love for max came out. life flashing before his eyes realizing all the mistakes he made, how he would redo things if given another chance, etc etc yeah. the thing with billy and max is there was no foundation for love. they never had a chance, not with neil in the picture, not meeting under those circumstances (if we’re meant to believe they didnt even meet until neil and susan were gonna get married ??? oh i would be MISERABLE)

but anyway. i think the fandom wouldve been like “thank god billys gone!” and then in the same breath villainize him for leaving max behind. but only if the duffers had bothered to keep neil around and actually show a storyline where without billy, his ire turned to max. which... given how season 4 went down.... i dont see happening. but if it had, then yeah, the fandom wouldve found reason to blame billy for that too. youre right theres literally nothing he can do to win because everyones mind is already made up that he’s the worst person in existence. he fucking DIED for everyone and that still isnt enough. once you get to that point theres just no arguing with people cuz theyre dying on that hill. the hill of fucking stupidity but thats the hill they want so

[mithliya]

hey i just wanted to say thank you for talking about your SA. i actually had a very similar experience w/ a guy i was really good friends with in high school.

he was my best friend, but i got pressured into dating him by my friends, family, his parents. (his mom guilted me into being w/ him 🙄 practically stalked me til i said yes)

he ended up abusing me for nearly 3 years.

and in that time i wrote stupid notes or letters to him making sex jokes cuz i was a KID. the lawyer we hired blamed me for his actions bc of the letters bc of he did 🤦🏻‍♀️

but even still, some weird part of me misses our friendship that we had before other people started meddling in our business. it makes me feel guilty sometimes, and other times it's relief. iunno trauma is weird.

uh but yeah. thank you for sharing, i know it's hard to talk about and be open with this sort of thing. i just wanted to say that you aren't alone as a lesbian who wrote dumb things as a kid or who missed/misses what friendship you had before your friend SA'd.

i think it's also extremely fucked up for people to judge your sexuality based on the way you tried to cope in the past, let alone now.

just know that a lot of women, myself included, really appreciate you being here c:

hey thank u for sharing ur story with me ❣️ honestly the thing that rly hurt about it looking back is it was in a v vulnerable time in my life. i rly had practically nobody. i lost almost all my friends bc i was suddenly a "whore" for getting raped. i would get these messages on all my social media accounts like "you deserved it" "you were seducing him" "haha hes living a good life and youre cutting yourself looooooooool pathetic!!". my friend group went from a lot of my school (small school but its normal for bahrain) to like ... 4 people in bahrain. one of them was that guy that had a crush on me since we were like 11. he would stand between me n my rapist and went to the principal about it so that i would have lesser proximity and was one of the only people who seemed to empathise w my situation. i felt quite indebted to him n everyone would repeatedly call me an idiot and tell me i should be with him and my mom would say she wishes he could be her son in law or w/e and at one point he started insisting that we are together despite me telling him no we are not & that i dont want to be w him. i gave up on saying no eventually n just went along with all of it. i felt like i was stupid for saying no ??? ppl kept telling me i was n i was like huh i guess i am. never said no again rly, up until the very end where i could no longer ignore it n keep putting myself thru any of that. after leaving that situation i saw how fucked up it was that there were all these obvious signs and me obviously signalling TO HIS FACE that i dont want to be w him, that im not interested in him, that it was further traumatising me n harming my mental health, and also the times where what he was doing would fall under SA....idk i felt stupid for facing one male friend taking advantage of me and then another one doing it soon after right in front of my face n i thought it was somehow different and normal and ok simply bc i wasnt getting downright threatened. but i know if someone else didnt hear my rape story n tell me "uh thats rape and thats fucked up" to begin with i wouldve also probably let that happen again n again too n not thought much about that while getting traumatised until afterwards too.

anyways... im glad that ur out of that situation. im sorry that we have some shared trauma there. shit like this is why i dont even trust "nice guys" anymore fr. i dont think that many ppl can rly understand that sort of situation and i can get how its confusing, bc it was a confusing time for me too. but idk why they think theyd know better than me about my own life either lol

[wasntmeanttobe64]

“In short, when a PBPD loves someone intensely, the fear of abandonment will be so overwhelming and all-consuming that the mind, in order to protect itself from those overwhelming emotions, will suddenly “flip a switch” and cause to PBPD to suddenly feel nothing for loved one, hate them and lose all their memories of ever loving them.”

That’s why I was acting weird this year, I couldn’t trust you, I didn’t know how to, I was genuinely afraid of you and forgot good memories with you, my feelings are so intense I always live in the fucking present and the last memory I have with someone will colour the whole relationship.

I thought u were all bad, I thought u hated me, I thought u were racist towards me, you didn’t like me. Even in maghreb, I’m not that intense and hyper usually, and I don’t treat someone I love and trust that I haven’t seen in a long time like that unless I am intensely afraid of them and think they lowkey hate me or will hate me, eventually, very soon, secretly or loudly.

And then, because of my behavior in Maghreb, I knew you didn’t want to have anything to do with me. But that’s complicated, cuz why do u want to leave? I … I’ve been trying to avoid that, I love you, I admire you, I respect you, I always did. My behavior is because of an intense fear of judgment and abandonment by you, throughout, since the times we talked, since i cut you off, to this year, to all the mean shit I said, to all the ways I reacted to the mean shit you said, to the idealization I did when i said I loved you, etc, etc. I know it’s been such a long time since we ever talked. And we still haven’t talked in a way where i’m emotionally regulated and I am trustful and I am open and I don’t think you’re racist or you hate me or you want to leave me, or at least not be mean or panicky when you DO want to leave and MAKE IT CLEAR that u do. I know my behavior is irrational, I promise I’m not crazy, pathetic, or stupid. I am aware of everything I’m doing and all the ways I’m making you feel and making you think about me and and and. I know. Trust me, even if I don’t at the moment, I will in like 5 mins after I end the call. I’ve been having episodes, and it’s…. it’s so intense, you have no idea. And throughout this year, you’ve been belittling it, you’ve been treating me like I’m dumb, crazy, lonely, basically just hopelessly broken and you GAIN NOTHING ANYMORE. YOU DON’T LOVE ME ANYMORE, AND IT’S OK, BECAUSE I WOULDN’T LOVE ME EITHER, I’VE BEEN HIDING IN WALLS, AND I’VE BEEN PROJECTING INSANE FUCKING BEHAVIOR. But you’ve been mean…. you’ve been so mean…. and it didn’t help……… I AM AWARE OF HOW MEAN YOU ARE, EVEN IF I DONT SHOW YOU, LOOK BACK AT HOW YOU TALKED TO ME AND THINK OF ME AS ME…… I. KNOW. HOW. YOU. SAW ME. AND I’VE BEEN SO. FUCKING. HURT. You called me spoiled, you said I was scary, and it was all while I was fucking panicking trying to rationalize my intense feelings of abandonment.

And YOU WEREN’T HONEST. You tried to blame me about last year when really, you just didn’t like how I acted in Maghreb. That’s not me in maghreb, that wasn’t me, and it wasn’t me even in messages bc I KNEW that you didn’t want to have anything to do with me.

I still loved you tho :’) I told you, I didn’t cut you off because I hated you, i seriously loved you, I was just too afraid of you, judging me, not being close enough to me as I’d like you to. :( that was it, that was the source of all the pain. You not being as loving to me as I wanted you to. SO I DIDN’T LIE THIS YEAR WHEN I TOLD YOU MAYBE I WAS IN LOVE WITH YOU. I WAS. I LOVED YOU. AND I WANTED YOU TO BE SOOO MUCH CLOSER TO ME, GIVE ME SOO MUUUCHH MORE POSITIVE ATTENTION, IRL EVEN!! MAYBE BE YOUR BF!!! That would make me HIGH. So yeah, I didn’t lie ^^

Anyways, as a defence mechanism, I get paranoid and I flip out on people that I feel don’t like me like I did. Now, I don’t know if I was right back then, that you didn’t like me like I did. but now, I know I’m right. You don’t wanna have anything to do with me, which is fair… I wasn’t honest, vulnerable, blablablabla whatever. It’s ok…………………………………………… nah I’m jk its ok.

……………………………………

what are these dots, stop

……….. .

Damn a dot has stopped the dots.

That’s why, in my spams (which a lot were desperate weird acts to make u text me and not leave forever, I was aware of how crazy I was sounding, I was acting, mostly, with sprinkles of truth throughout, I know it’s confusing, but I couldn’t be vulnerable when I know you don’t respect me, trust me, relate to me, are racist towards me, and I know you won’t come back but I want you to but I know u won’t but just call me? Just “help me?” I didn’t need help, I just wanted you to say you respected me and you don’t think I’m completely broken, even if I doubled down on how broken I am… I was acting, no you didn’t turn me on, I was kidding, acting, deflecting, being intentionally weird bc the emotions were so intense and I didn’t wanna be fully honest but I also didn’t want you to leave, AH! … just desperate that you don’t leave me, and I was paranoid about other people I’ve split on that you’re talking to, which u fucking did talk to, I was right, cuz you’re a piece of shit. it’s all so overwhelming. Yes, I was joking, throughout, trust me, I hated you, and I didn’t care how I acted, but I also didn’t want you to block me, fuck.)

That’s why… in my spams, I was like “remember when, remember when,” I was trying to get the idea across that I am not weird towards you now, I can be vulnerable again, because I remembered you! I genuinely forgot how to text you or trust you this year because I “split” on you, and I wanted to undo that and do all the conversations this year again, now that I’m not weird and I’m not in an episode of avoiding abandonment and begging for u to stay but not rly beg you directly but want you to read my mind and not leave or else I panic and lose it and spam and beg and….. be hurt… and want to hurt you and you…. you saw me and you…. you made fun of me…. AH! Anyways, my mind forgets memories when I cut someone that I “loved” off, I know I should’ve phrased it better, but I was confused, and I fucking hated you for leaving me, but why did you leave? Don’t leave? At least say you love me before you leave. Shit.

I’m scaring you? Why would I scare you? Of course i’ll flip out, even someone without BPD would flip out……………………..

“Alternatively, a PBPD may suddenly disappear from the former loved one’s life completely (they now want nothing to do with the devalued loved one) while the Fear of Abandonment may cause them reappear later.”

“If you have BPD, the disorder will cause you to fear that broccoli will disappear from your life forever and you will no longer be able to have it: “I am sure the broccoli market will collapse and I will not longer be able to get it from anywhere!” The fear is overwhelming and you start to hate and devalue broccoli rather than lose it: “You know what? I never really liked broccoli and I don’t care if I will not be able to have it in the future anymore. It tastes terrible and I am sure it’s bad for me. I want nothing to do with broccoli and I am cutting out of my life.”

“Then, you may stop eating broccoli altogether: “Good thing I no longer have to deal with that disgusting broccoli”. With that said, fear of abandonment is central to BPD and it does not go away: “Maybe I should not cut broccoli completely out of my life. I think I will keep it around a bit — even though I certainly don’t like it and will treat it with the contempt it deserves”.

“(even though, if not for BPD, there would be no reasons you would not be enjoying broccoli for the rest of your life)”

Sources:

How does a borderline react to a breakup? Answer (1 of 4): This is based off of my experience being a pwbpd. Typically with a lot of guilt and shame depending on…www.quora.com

— -

It’s so hard to be misunderstood, it’s so hard to be treated like a crazy, broken, just a “hard to get to” person, irrational, outside this reality realm person. That’s so fucking isolating, and you DID THAT. You’re like ok, you don’t understand, basically, you don’t have a brain, you’re not a human, I can’t talk to you, I won’t talk to you. I feel like a fucking alien, less, an animal, a… a…. like, this really fucking hurts, and you did that. YOU DID THAT.

This whole fucking time, I’ve been doing self harm, cuz I’m so misunderstood and abandoned, and it’s not just abandonment, you abandoned me cuz u think I just don’t understand basic shit, I am not aware. I fucking am aware, I am aware of everything. The feelings are so intense sometimes, that I dissociate and I joke and act to fucking numb this fucking shit. But you treated me so bad, like I’m not a human being, and you called me crazy, and you stopped treating me like a person, and I freak out and you treated me WORSE!! WORSE! And when I tell you you’ve been treating me like a crazy person, “noo don’t say that.” When I tell you to apologize, I SHOULD APPOLOGZE? Oh my fucking god. YOU THREATEN TO CALL THE POLICE???? YOU DINO REACT????? YOU IGNORE ME?????? YOU TEXT MEAN SHIT???? YOU TALK TO MY OTHER FRIENDS TO MAKE SURE U CAN BLOCK ME, THEN YOU BLOCK ME???????

You have no idea, no fucking idea, that the way you treated me hurt me so fucking much. I’ve been smoking, everyday, and I don’t even feel the smoke, I’ve been using it as self harm. I’ve been dissociating, bordering hallucinations (and no, don’t find another reason to treat me less than A FUCKING HUMAN when i tell you that i FUCKING HALLUCINATE).

I’m not dumb, I know how you started seeing me and treating me, and I hate you for it. I will never forgive you. My teeth are permanently yellow now, my hair is falling out. You have caused me so much pain from the alienation of “Oh, he doesn’t understand, he’s crazy, he doesn’t have friends so he lost it, I’m not gonna try to talk to him as a person, he’s just dumb and spoiled.” You started to treat me like a rat child. You bullied me, I remember, VIVIDLY, all the messages you sent that I was too afraid to point out because you would find another reason to leave, AND YOU LEFT ANYWAYS!!

“friendship that you didn’t deserve btw”

“yes, i know how hard it is to be human :( I am human too sweetie :(“ — how dare you. How dare you belittle me like that.

“you’re being selfish again”

“what questions nabil?” \reads questions out loud in a voice note and makes fun of me for asking questions as if they’re obvious and I’m just an idiot\

\drawing while I’m speaking, sipping tea, only to say “Ok. Please don’t text me again.” Would u treat me like that last year? Would u treat me like that in October? You fucked.

“I have friends” etc etc, I’ve already told you about these.

“Spoiled”

“Ok i will stop talking now, I will update you tmrw with the police,” \ dino reacts to my message where I’m obviously upset at you and I’ve been quiet for so long for how you treated me\ “I said, I am going to the cyber police tmrw and i will update you.” — AHAHAHAHA AHA AHA, u think I give a fuck? No, seriously, look at me, do you think, I ever GAVE A FUCK, ABOUT YOUR POLICE MESSAGES? I NEVER DID, I RESPECTED YOU the first time.

How dare you treat me like a creep.

“lunatic”

“YESSIR” — this one is in fucking October when you told me not to fucking talk to you and u were mean as fuck. MEAN AS FUCKING FUCK. All because of that text I sent you, you dickshit. That’s when it all fucking started.

“You never cared”

And you HAHA react to my messages????????

Let’s be fuckign honest. You decided not to talk to me BECAUSE I WAS LONELY AND CLEARLY DIDN’T TALK TO SOMEONE IN A LONG TIME THROUGH TEXTS. Let’s be honest, you lied, you’ve been lying, and I’m mad at you for it. You’ve been pretending it’s about last year when IT’S NOT. My literal first messages in messenger were normal, you were reacting normally, the first ever message I brought up WHAT I’VE DONE LAST YEAR AND YOU SAID I WAS BEING DRAMATIC.

That’s the shit I don’t understand.

That’s why I was weird. we both clearly knew we didn’t care about last year, that’s why I didn’t give a fuck about it, and you didn’t either, you were just trying to get rid of me. LIKE A SELFISH PRICK. That you are. AND ALWAYS WERE.

I cut you off because, you never texted me first, you never gave a fuck about me as much as I did about you. You called me to vent about your sister in 2020 because you had no one else you could have the balls to share that shit with. You called me about your bipolar and your ADHD. And other than that, you’ve been playing D and D and doing all that gay shit, having me as an extra. If anyone deserves my BPD splitting, it was you, because you never cared about me. It was always about you. When I call you, you act all cute, knowing what that does to, uuh, a GUY. Talking about wearing only panties and acting like an uwu anime child, putting your hands on your head and saying “rawr I’m a dinausaur.” Your messages were always hyper and always about you. I don’t think I’ve ever heard you ask a question about my life, my adolescence, my dreams, my aspirations, what I like what I don’t like, what I’m up to, what I’m doing. I’ve been fighting to get a fucking word in throughout our whole “friendship,” whatever the fuck it was. And you’ve been bathing in that shit. And now, how convenient, you don’t want to deal with me, because I’m not giving you what you want. And what do you do? You blame it on me on last year. How convenient, when I lost my spark in texts, you don’t want to have anything to do with me anymore. So yeah, you deserve my spams, you deserve way worse, waay waay worse. You were the worst thing to ever happen to me. I’ve invested so much in you, I could’ve invested all that fucking energy in someone that looked back, that reached out to me. I could’ve invested it in someone that didn’t turn my teeth yellow. Someone that cares about where I’m headed in life, why I do what I do. You deserved my BPD splitting. But you didn’t deserve to find comfort in Malik. I sacrificed so much for you, especially this year. This self harm is all because I couldn’t talk to you, I couldn’t be vulnerable about how I felt, and u cut off communication or made it clear that I am an inconvenience if I talk about my feelings, and I was angry at my self. You have no idea what’s been happening to me. And when I remember that you are hanging out with people that I know, I seriously wish u death.

I could’ve taken it from someone else, COULD’VE, but you……. Out of all people. YOU!!!

That’s why I wanted to call you or for you to call me to “help me.” I wanted you to treat me and talk to me like the human being that I fucking AM. Not so you tell me to see a psychiatrist or call me bl masquee or tell me: “No, nabil, this isn’t happening. No.” What the actual fuck????????????? Do u think I’m insane???? Do u know how insulting and offensive that is. Do you know… how fucking hurtful that is???????

You. NEED. TO FEEL. SHAME.

I am a human being, and if u don’t understand that now, you will, when you know that we have fucking friends in common and they see me as a human being. Those spams aren’t me, they are a reaction to you being a piece of shit to me. You deserve it. You, fucking, deserve it. And even in those spams, I tried to be fucking vulnerable, sprinkle some fucking truth, get you to try to call me and talk to me like a normal person, like you would talk to me in October, like you would talk to me YEARS AGO. You fucking dick.

Don’t compare me to your ex and how he treated you. This is uncomprabable. You have hurt me, deeeplyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. Don’t laugh about it, don’t feel good about it, and don’t feel okay about it because “I am not normal,” because “I have a disorder,” because “I don’t talk to our friends in common anymore,” because “I am lonely,” because “I. am. crazy.”

So yeah, you DIDN’T TREAT ME WELL, and you need to understand that, and admit it to yourself, so you don’t do it in the future, and so u fucking apologize. Because yes, this “Crazy” person that u see me, deserves an apology. I’m not crazy. This isn’t a pattern, you’re not the first person I thought may be fucking pretty??? What the fuck do u think???? WHAT DO YOU THINK?????????????

My spams are a reaction to you, to you ONLY.

I’ve been in a relationship before, and while I still had abandonment issues and screwed up and sent some “heys” and “lets talk irl,” I’m not crazy and didn’t fucking ruin this girl’s life. i’m a fucking person, I don’t know what the fuck you think of me, but I hope you die for treating me like you did. Out of all people. YOU. I REGRET KNOWING YOU.

Ofcourse you didn’t treat me like a normal person since you kept leaving seens while I was clearly panicking, and as some kind of a sick joke, threatened to call the cops in messenger? Said “i don’t like you i wont like you, neva gonna happen,” and then said “goodbye nabil” and blocked me knowing full well you’re showing my messages to someone else, and full well knowing I’m reacting to your voice messages literally saying “i’m scaring you”?????????????????????????????????????????????

WHY WOULDN’T I SPAM????????????

YOU MONSTER.

YOU WERE MEAN TO ME. WHY WOULD YOU SAY STUFF LIKE THAT TO ME??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? WHY WOULD YOU INVALIDATE ME???????????????? WHY WOULD YOU CUT OFF CONTACT LIKE THAT????????? WHY DO YOU ENTERTAIN YOURSELF, UNTIL YOU HAVE ENOUGH, AND BLOCK ME WHEN SHIT STARTS TO HURT YOU?????????????????????

[crystal-iceblossomxjackfrost4evr]

Tw manipulative Parental unit bullshit/my sociopathic tendencies towards said parental unit/ and small death stuff in the past/small mention of suicidal thoughts in thr past

So like i maybe go off like a villain here. Sending herw to send link to my megamind server buds. Uhm but yeaaa sorry if u didnt realize yet i can be quite crazy when it comes to real assholes like this guy. And i have no love whatsoever for child abusers /manipulators in anyway, shape, form or fashion.

Background: Only mental,emotional financial and phsyical type of abuse happened to me. Nothing rated M/E other then objectification for modeling. I have adhd and possibly many others including autism,anxiety, and recently thinking cptsd

Uh rant below

[[MORE]]

:readmore:

||So like TELL ME WHY this mans asked me TWICE NOW trying to bribe me to vome home and take care of his dumb ass

He has no working arms and i feel b

Pity im not completely heartless but i also laugh my ever fucking ass off cuz its his own karma hitting him

Its been damn near 3 years (1.5-2 since his accident) and hes STILL TRYING TO MAKE ME COME BACK

BITCH I RAN AWAY WITH 8 SUITCASES AND NOTHING ELSE WHYYYYYY

WHYYYYY WOULD I COME BACK TO UR NARCISSITIC MANIPULATIVE ASSANINE BULLSHIT

UR BEING SWEET and adoraaable and all "ohhh i love u princess. I wish u back princess. Im cryinnnng princess. Ill pay u 3600 a month! Ill pay 4000! A month!"

NO

NO

NO

I COULD BE PAID 14 GODDAMN GRAND A MONTH UR A LIAR

U will absolutely become a hellish monster again once im back in ur clutcges and im honestly cackling like a sociopath

This fucker has made me go full sociopath anime villain ass tendrncies. 0ne wrong step and i couldve been goddamn loki or deadpool in the real world im not kidding!!

If i got STUCK in the pandemic with this HO one of us would e died

One of us wouldve died.

I mainly kept tellin the doctors to leave him alive cuz i felt bad. I knew hed want to. I need SOMEONE to take care of the house (im broke af) and i wanna get life insurance to get i dunno 1k, 10k, 50k, 100k SOMETHING out of him.

And hes useful in helping me with grocery and occasional actual money

Just SIGH sighh i do love him

.....Hah Ahahha

Okay i USE to love him. I just feel bad for the guy at this point. He lost his goddamn chance for me to love him when i had to cry my goddamn self to sleep every fucking night of highschool asking Whyyyy the fuck he and mama dont seem to care. Even after saying my suicidal tendencies. Even after so many instances of me being angry beyonf measure. So many instances of abusing me even after mama (gramma) died. Even to the point where i legit was feeling insane from LACK OF QLEEP CUZ HE WONT TURN DOWN THE STUPID BASS

I cant stannnnnnnnnnnd bass anymore. Any bass in a speaker in a neighbors house i cant deal with.

Ppl yelling at me i cant deal with.

I dont think i can legit EVER fully live on my own without someone to at the least help me take care of thr house, appointments, paperwork and signing up or filling out things and spiders (sever phobia tht he neverrr helped)

Im 90% sure all of my diagnosis are 10000 or more % worse if not outright caused by him besides my adhd and autism

And even after all tht.

Alll the crying. All the screaming silently. All the manipulation. And abuse until he fucked my head around sideways and inside out

HE STILL THINKS ID EVERRRRR WANT TO GO BACK

im on low contact for "wow your life sucks" ahahajaha reasons just cuz i call u a couple times a month or two and we get along on the phone (cuz i laid down the tule if he starts yelling imma hang the eff up and or he starts blaming me imma sob story him till he shuts up) does not mean i will ever EVER live with him again

And if i even EVER THINK ABT GOING BACK its because i miss my house and old life i can never have and if i ever reallly think abt going back to him. My bog brother. My roommate, my bonus mother and prolly both besties would slap me upside the head or knock me out or tie me down and ask what the ever loving fucks wrong with me!!!

Jeezus christ! "I thought ud at least think abt it!" I THOUGHT ABT it for 23 yeaaaaars before i managed to get away u crazy man

No!

And even if i did I CANT TAKE CARE OF PPL i get grossed out touchin the hair tht combs off when i comb my own head.

I get grossed out at taking care of my own body

I get grossed out or shut down at the littlest of things tht even miss or roomie go WHY ARE U HAVING TRBL. Becauseee of himmmm. He made damn sure i would have to rely on ppl for the rest of my life which sets me up poorly to everrrr take care of him. Id rven told mama someone else would have to take care of herr. Id hire and pay someone but I. CANT. DO. IT.

So boo hoo sad story feels bad man but u made sure id have these fucking problems and dig ur grave and i wanna just scream at him to just lie in it nowwwww but i still need him and need to make sure he wont eff me in selling thr house tht mama for some reason only gave me half of. And maybe bribe him to keep my stuff in storage till im stable with a job again Ugh ;*; ||

Tw manipulative Parental unit bullshit/my sociopathic tendencies towards said parental unit/ and small death stuff in the past/small mention of suicide thoughts in the past

[bagel-53]

"occupation " when we left them to themselves in 2005. yeah you sure do know your history.

and true, the idf accidentally kills people. unfortunate, but true. but it doesn't mean it comes from a malicious place! if you haven't noticed from my posts im anti war and all- so maybe check your eyes there a lil, i never said i wanted the Palestinians to die. so your argument is a little.....off.

also "from the river to the sea" is a chant to kill all Israelis (btw not just jews, it means everyone) cuz hamas literally says this and means it as in "lets kill everyone in Israel!"

vtw saying "i get that you are scared" aka something a victim will feel, you proceeding to tell me im not a victim is WILD.

why would i fear war if i were not a victim? do you even know the consciences of war? all innocent people get hurt and for what? bc this guy hurt another? you are being very antisemitic towards the people of Israel since you think we shouldn't be afraid that everyday some terrorist group is on their way to hurt our asses.

you like to say countering things, don't you? you say that we "are murdering people (with a cold heart(not true))" but then in the same sentence LITERALLY SAY THE WHOLE REASON WE ARE IN THIS WAR. WE ARE FIGHTING BACK! if a person were to come to you, hurt your family and then beat the shit out of you, no matter the reason what will you do? i legit want you to tell me and if you dont it'll prove to me that you aren't reading any of this and im just arguing with myself, which will make me block you and I'll continue with my life and this will be, yet again a vent acc and an art acc.

wait what death machines? you mean hamas? we are literally doing this- hamas is our enemy you do know that? ..right? like we literally did everything in our power to help gazanes by giving them things like water, electricity, food, things that HAMAS THEIR RULERS never gave them, even though they are a VERY rich organisation. if they wanted to help build a civilization they would've helped their people, yet you blame us for what? giving them a place to live, outside of Israel borders? ya know thats pretty dumb.

just another day in the life of an Israeli citizen

being bombed at while going to sleep

like dude i fell asleep not too long ago and this is what i get??? >:(

[fenokey]

hi hello its been years theres been some drama over this kid in the fandom im currently in and it just reminded me of the dumb thing i did a few years ago. tho i cant remember when exactly cuz the yeas have been blending together anyway i hope you remember "CornFucker" from your nonsfw discord seeing this kid reminded me of the time i was in your discord as a kid and i'd completely forgotten about it im an adult now tho (for realsies) tho i wont expect you to believe me and you dont really need to cuz im no longer in the jjba fandom and have no interest in your discord but i just want to say im sorry for deceiving you and thanks for getting me extra hooked on eggs. i blame you. also you art is a beautiful as ever

this is what reading this ask felt like i aint gonna lie cornfucker

[tastyykpop]

𝑆𝑤𝑒𝑒𝑡 𝐶𝑜𝑟𝑟𝑢𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛-ρ† 2

Pairings: enemy, student, barista!jaemin x student, barista!reader, (very small) taemin x reader

Suggestive, slight angst (you have to squint), fluff

<previous- next>

Warnings: dom!jaemin, brat!reader, brat taming kinda, possessiveness, degradation, praise, thigh riding, choking a lot, pet names, jealousy

a/n : here we go again👨‍🦯

"Is it true? Her and jaemin?" Students whispered amongst themselves and thats all you heard today, wondering why they were even talking about you and him. It was strange really, jaemin was nicer and there were very little pranks and even then, they weren't as bad as what they used to be.

"Y/n! Oh my god I can't believe it!" Yeri jumped with a smile plastered on her face, "Are you and jaemin together?"

You twisted your face in confusion. Is that what people think? "What!? No! Where did you even get that from?" You questioned.

Yeri smirked and leaned closer, "I heard from jeno that you both fucked." She leaned back, "is that true?"

"I- well thats not entirely wrong but what does that have to do with him and I dating?"

"Jaemins been nicer with you and there's rarely ever pranks. I mean, anyone with a brain could tell that something is up." Yeri pointed out. She raised an eyebrow as you glanced around, making sure no one can hear you.

"Okay yes me and jaemin did have sex, but seriously we aren't dating. And I'm just as shocked as you about the way he's acting." You whisper-yelled at your friend. She mouth fell into an 'o' shape as she nodded, then attempted to walk away until you grabbed and brought her back, "wait im missing something." You squinted, "please dont tell me everyone in the school knows."

"Okay I wont." She shrugged and tried to walk away again but your hand gripped her arm tighter, "Ow, did you get stronger?"

"Yeri I'm serious! No one was supposed to know and now everyone knows!" You slowly let go of her and stared at the ground, "i swear Im gonna kill that boy!"

Yeri snickered and patted your shoulder, "Dont you mean fuck him?"

"YERI!!"

Order after order, customer after customer, you began to wear down after a hard days work. Irene stayed for a bit at yours and jaemins station to help since it was so busy. And it still wasn't fast enough for all the orders that just kept coming. It felt like you weren't going to finish and the shop closed at 8:30, it was currently 8:17.

"Ugh why is there so many orders at this time?" Irene groaned from exhaustion, jaemin snickered.

"Just be happy we get payed after this." He said and you all agreed.

Everything seemed to suddenly slow down at the cafe as it was beginning to close. Only a few orders were actually left and after that, you could close.

Irene and jaemin cleaned up the stations. Of course Irene left first afterwards, and you counted the money at the register. And since youve been working here for almost 2 years, counting money was just as easy as walking. But since its been super busy today, it took you a while to count some of the coins. Only once while you counted did you mess up, but you brushed it away and started again.

"Can you be any slower?" Jaemin commented, having just finished his part.

Putting the money away after counting, you put your hands on your hips like a mom scolding her child, "Whats the hurry all of a sudden?"

He only giggled and ruffled your already messy hair, "I wanna spend time with my baby."

You tried your hardest not to blush.

"No way." You swatted his hand off your head.

"And why not?" He quirked an eyebrow as you and him walked to an empty table in the cafe.

"Cuz you told jeno what we did last night and now the whole school knows. I'm kinda mad at you right now." Groaning, you hid your head in your arms trying to avoid his gaze.

You couldnt see him, but you heard the sigh and knew he was pouting at you, buy you didn't bother looking up.

"Why can't I brag about how good you were?" Jaemin questions, leaving you to groan louder.

"This isnt what I wanted..."

The boy shifted in his seat and pulled your head out your arms, his hands holding the side of your cheeks, "then what did you want?"

Your cheeks puffed as you tried to find the right words, "...to not have done what we did last night."

"So you regret it?"

You shrugged.

Jaemin leaned back and stared at you with a cold face. He has a hint as to why youre now suddenly saying this, not only because of him telling his friends, but also because of his past with you. If he wasnt pranking you, he was making fun of you, if it wasn't that, he'd make you flustered with his words or actions. Jaemin was annoying, yes, but your reactions were priceless to him. You got annoyed by jaemin and you hated him. He didnt blame you even after all this.

"I guess im not really mad at you telling him, just more confused on why you had sex with me." You started playing with a strand of fallen hair and waited for his answer.

"I did what I wanted to do from the beginning; fucking you dumb. If you think there's another reason, there isn't." Jaemin crossed his arms with a half smile.

You stopped playing with your hair and glared at him, "No no there has to be more! You're way to nice to me now for that to be it!"

"Do you think I like you?" He suddenly leaned forward. You didnt bother saying anything and sat back in the chair, "Why would I like you?"

Its been a week since your last interaction with jaemin. Literally. Theres been no pranking or anything. It was odd, but you couldn't stop thinking back to what he said when you both were alone in the cafe. Something about that kind of stung. You dont know why but, you thought maybe, just maybe, he'd actually like you. And maybe, jimin was right about about you liking him.

"Hey how was work?" Jimin asked getting up from the couch. You noticed taemin was here too and it wasn't surprising anymore as he's been coming over recently this past week.

"It was a bit busy actually." You smiled, nodding your head in taemins direction to acknowledge him and he smiled in return. Cute.

Jimin came back to his seat on the couch and handed you and taemin a clas of iced tea, "Jaemin didnt do anything again huh?"

You shook your head, "You don't understand how weird this is. Like he completely stopped interacting with me." You sighed taking a sip and seat next to taemin before ranting again, "Wait...oh my god! Did I get played? Was he really just trying to fuck me this whole time?"

"Fu- what?" Taemin zipped his head at you.

"Its a long story-"

"No its not," jimin cut you off, "basically hes kind of a bully to her and hes always doing pranks and saying some provocative things, but magically," he started flailing his hands, "jaemin started being nice, said he wanted to 'fuck her dumb' and then she was in his bed."

"....so you just...let your bully fuck you??" Taemin squinted his eyes at you and you nodded slowly. "Interesting. "

"I dont even know why. Like it just happened." You stuck out your bottom lip and laid you head on taemins shoulder, "I can't believe I did that..."

"It was bound to happen." Jimin sipped his tea.

You lifted your head slightly off of taemins shoulder and stuck your tongue out, "You know what fuck you!"

"You both are like kids." Taemin said, moving to get up.

"Hm?" Jimin looked up from his iced tea, completely obvious to what taemin said and taemin shook his head.

"I need to get back home. Jimin don't stay up too late." Jimin whined at his friend as taemin got up, "y/n, be good." You gave him a thumbs up and watched as the black haired man left.

"Jimin hes cute." You frowned.

Jimin rolled his eyes, "tell him that next time then."

You rolled over so now you were laying on jimins lap and he gave you a look of disgust, but you ignored it, "Mans is too cute for someone like me to say something."

"Dude he literally called you cute the first day he met you." Jimin said a matter of factly.

"How do you know he wasnt lying?"

Jimin scoffed, "Taemin lying? Thats like me and you dating. It just doesn't go together."

"I dont know if i should be offended or happy." You glared.

"The latter." He averted his eyes from yours and continued watching the show on t.v.

2 classes in and your were already tired. If you hadn't had stayed up so late with jimin, crying over some k-drama, maybe you wouldve gotten a good night sleep. But because of that you looked dead. You didn't even try to look your best this morning, only throwing on a pair of sweats and a t-shirt and brushing your hair back. You thought you looked okay to some extent at least. Maybe not your normal self but at least you were presentable.

There's was only so much you could handle in your class right now too. Trigonometry was definitely not your strong suit and you wondered how you even got in this class.

People were hunched over doing their work and you were struggling with question one. It was a bit embarrassing. You looked to your right for answers but they were just as lost as you, so your left was your next move.

"I dont appreciate you cheating off my paper y/n." Jaemin whispered, making sure the professor didn't hear him.

"Sorry I'm just confused.." you grumbled, placing your pencil down, jaemin gave you a look.

"Maybe if you used your head you'd get it."

"Im not dumb jaemin."

He exhaled and rubbed his face with his hands, "Come over later ill help you."

You looked at jaemins partially completed paper then back at your blank one. You needed this if you wanted to pass but you also didn't want to be with jaemin at the moment and you weren't too sure what tricks the boy had up his sleeve.

"I dont think-"

"It wasnt a question." Jaemin then went back to his work, ignoring whatever protest you had as you were about to open your mouth.

It was at this point you even planned on not going later. The only thing is he really didn't like being disobeyed and you found him a bit scary when mad. It wouldnt be right to miss out on him tutoring you anyway because jaemin was a smart guy. With his help you should be able to pass easily given a few months.

The professor ended class a few minutes early. Jaemin and you both headed to your next class when someone tapped on your shoulder, making you curiously turn around.

"TAEMIN!" you leaped up and hugged the guy around his neck as he giggled with full cheeks. "What are you doing here?"

"I changed colleges since it was closer to where I was living, but I didnt realize you were here too!" He beamed.

Jaemin stood watching you both converse and giggle over small things. He wanted so badly to drag you away from taemin but he knew you weren't going to like him very much after that. But something about the two of you laughing and subtly flirting didnt sit right with him and he didnt know why. It wasnt jealousy because why would he be jealous with you? He didn't care about you in that way. So why was this making him angry?

"Y/n lets go to class." Jaemin interrupted the two of you.

"You can go ill be in shortly." You brushed him off as if he was nothing and began talking with taemin again. Jaemin despised it but listened to you and walked away.

You were happy taemin came to this school because now it gave you a chance to get closer with him. It was definitely the small crush that grew over the week that made you feel like a 14 year old girl whenever he said something remotely sweet.

Taemin and you stood just outside of the classroom door and you gave him a quick hug and good bye before heading into the room with a big smile.

Jaemin stared at you as you walked up the steps to your seat that was a few feet away from him. The smile plastered on your face made jaemin see how much of an impact taemin really had on you.

Seulgi and sana kept glancing back at you, snickering here and there. Something your not fazed by it anymore. Probably them planning another prank or something. You also felt another set of eyes behind you and looked back to see jaemin glaring at the back of your head. Wondering why he was doing that, you crooked your head to the side then faced the front again after not receiving any response from him.

Ten minutes passed and the professor never came. Students were still all around the room talking to each other and the room was noisy. You decided to just ignore everyone and focus on any work you could, everything other than trig. You were saving that for jaemin.

"Hey nana," jaemin looked away from you and gazed up at seulgi who was now standing in front of him, "theres a party later at Wendy's and joys house. You coming?"

You put the pencil down and started biting your nails, wondering what he would actually say, not that he would ditch on you, but still.

"Im working later." He simply said, seulgi rolled her eyes playfully.

"Ill come pick you up after just bring clothes."

Jaemin raised a brow, "ill be too tired to go."

He was starting to get on seulgis nerves as she grit her teeth, "Then ill come over after school."

You scoffed and rolled your eyes wondering why she was trying so hard. Clearly the boy didn't want to go, or at least go with her. You didnt understand how she couldn't see that.

"Can't im helping someone with trig after."

She leaned over his desk, jaemin not really fazed by anything as she kept coming closer, "I have a feeling you're lying nana."

"Why would I lie?" He replied stoic. "Y/n is coming over for help."

Its the way that literally everyone in the room looked back at jaemin and you. Such a weird pair. Now they really would be questioning the two of you.

You anxiously looked back at him, seulgi was up in his face, nose flared, jaemin remained still and not intimidated by her or the class. But you were ready for someone to say something.

"Whats with you and y/n all of a sudden?" Seulgi asked. You could tell she didn't want you to go over his house, that was pretty obvious, but its not like she could stop you.

"Nothing, she just needs help in trig."

The class was still silent, even after a good 30 seconds. Now you just wanted the professor come in and talk about some WW2 stuff so people would ignore this. But your were pretty sure your professor just didn't want to teach and stayed home for the day.

"You dont need to help her." She faked a smile when she glanced back at you. "Shes a smart girl."

Jaemin was just about ready to get up and walk away, "I want to help her pass, now I do believe your seat is over there." he pointed over to the middle row of seats, just a few before yours. Seulgi actually took the hint and walked away. Her eyes were trained on yours and she looked as if ready to say something but decided against it.

God, now you just wanted to leave.

Jaemin placed a notebook and an open textbook on trig in front of you. His eyes watched as you hesitated to do your homework. You would get ready to write then lean back in confusion. For you, something was just not clicking with the whole trigonometry thing. You even started to wonder why you were taking it.

"Look this is what you have to do." Jaemin sat up and took the pencil out of your hand and went through the steps. Despite him being shockingly good at explaining and teaching, you found yourself lost at his words and just started staring at his side profile. Admittedly, you had to say he was pretty. And his lips as he was talking made you hypnotized. They looked soft and you wondered if you'll ever be able to feel them again.

"Repeat what I had just said."

You snapped out of your thoughts and hesitated, looking back at the paper then slowly began going over what you remembered until you started stumbling over your words and then stopped when he placed his hand on your thigh.

Jaemin exhaled loudly, sounding very disappointed in you and the only thing you could do was wait for whatever he had to say, "Why aren't you paying attention to nana?" His voice remained the same, but his nickname was a complete contrast.

"Im sorry I was distracted..."

"Distracted." Jaemin raised an eyebrow, "Theres nothing here to distract you."

Although you wanted to say he's been distracting you, you most certainly didn't and spared yourself the embarrassment.

"Y/n whats distracting you?" Jaemin set aside the pencil and gave you his full attention. Yet you remained silent and let him figure it out himself. But he knew, you were pretty easy to read. This is why he tapped your thigh, trying to get an answer out of you.

"You already know. Why do I have to say it?"

"I wanna hear it come out of your mouth." Jaemin shrugged.

"Jaemin..." you mumbled staring at your blank notebook, "Can we just move on?"

"Say it first." Consequently jaemin only made things worse by moving his hand up and down on your thigh in a taunting manner. One way or another he'll make you flustered.

"Youre clearly the distraction now can we please move on. We only have an hour and a half until work." You blushed.

A playful smirk found its way to his lips as he hummed in agreement. His hand still rested on your thigh and he once again tried explaining the problem in front of you. Granted, your phone went off in the middle of his second attempt of explaining.

"Taemin texted me hold on." You reached to grab your phone but jaemin was faster. He took your phone and threw it on the bed behind him.

"Pay attention." Jaemin had said. But you decided to be a bit stubborn and decided to get up and grab your phone, but jaemin had other plans. Hence why now you were stuck in a death grip on his lap with a hand to your neck. You couldn't see his face, but you knew it was cold. Jaemin didn't like to be disobeyed even for a second. "You only listen to me when I make a move, so do I have to keep you in this position for you to do your work?" You quickly shook your head and tried to wiggle out of his strong grip, but jaemin wouldn't let you go. Particularly because he figured you'd try and grab your phone again, which in that case, wasn't going to happen. If you so desperately wanted to pass, hes going to make you pass. Jaemin doesn't care even if he has to go as far as disciplining you either. As long as you pass, he'll be fine.

"You dont want to disappoint nana right?" You shook your head again. "You have a voice, use it."

"N-no.."

Jaemin hummed and let go of your neck, still keeping you on his lap. "Now be a good girl and listen. This is the last time I'll repeat myself."

So then you listened. Certainly because jaemin would not hesitate in making you regret any decisions you had.

After his third explanation, you understood the whole process a bit more and began doing your work. Jaemin was happy to see you do the problems, only pointing out a few mistakes, but praising you after for getting them right. You'd try your best not to smile or blush by putting your head down or looking away. Jaemin found it cute and couldn't help but smile himself.

"Lets get ready for work." Jaemin tapped your thigh for you to get up then he made his way to the closet to find clothes.

"Do you have a white t-shirt I can use?" You asked and jaemin threw you a shirt. Luckily for you the dress code was white on top, black on bottom so you didn't need to worry about the pants.

The both of you changed swiftly, not really caring about each others presence as you've already seen each other naked.

Without warning, jaemin dragged you out the his car, not bothering to give you a chance to say you wanted to drive yours. And you both were off.

It was a silent car ride besides the soft music playing on the radio. Jaemin kept you occupied with a hand resting on your thigh. He had a nice hand, you weren't gonna lie, but besides you gawking at his hand, it really did keep your mind focused. Not even the streets filled with so much activity could make you stop staring. It came to the point where you ended up grabbing his hand and played with his fingers.

"If you like my hands so much maybe I should use them on you again." Jaemin said, your breathing stopped for a second and you faced him.

"I just... find your hands nice thats all. Nothing sexual nana." You emphasized his nickname with a mocking tone. But in reality it was a very lowkey sexual desire to have him feel you up again, or even finger you. Whatever it was, you didn't want to admit it.

Parking the car, you and jaemin went inside the cafe to find it was again very busy. Irene was at the register helping a customer with their order and when she glanced up, you could've sworn she saw a ghost.

She finished the order and looked between you two, "Am I missing something?" She asked, pointing a finger at you guys as if accusing you, "you never come in together nor even walk inches next to each other."

"Y/n was at my house because I was tutoring her for school, so I drove her here too." Jaemin responded and you nodded in agreement. Still, irene found this crazy.

"Okay...just get to work then..." she squinted her eyes. Jaemin was the first to get to the stations, followed by you who made sure to look at the orders on screen.

After a while of making coffees, teas, and such you decided it was time for a break, so you asked irene if you can just take a seat for a bit to which she said yes.

Only a few tables remained empty, you took one near a window so you could see what was happening outside. Nothing different. Some teenagers fooling around on the sidewalk, couples passing by, and people rushing to get to their jobs. Meanwhile you never noticed someone sitting in front of you until they blew into your ear.

"Ahhh, what the fuck taemin!" Frowning at the sudden intusion, taemin laughed at your shocked face and sputtered many apologies. Many of which you knew he didnt mean.

"How long have you been sitting there?" You leaned over the table asking.

Taemin naturally leaned over too, getting closer to your face, "Just got here." He smiled, "I texted you that I was coming but you never replied."

You pouted in realization that that was when jaemin decided to discard your phone on his bed and not allow you to get it back. "Sorry I was being tutored for trig."

"Its fine." He pinched your cheeks, the smile never left his face once he finally saw a shade of red on your cheeks. Moreover, the two of you kept conversing for about 5 more minutes. Taemin talked about how jimin was bored all day from not seeing you at home so he went over to comfort him. You chuckled at the thought of jimin sadly laying against his friend and playing video games, trying not to feel bored. It made you happy that you had that kind of impact on him, knowing damn well no matter how much he said he said you weren't fun, that was a lie.

"I have to go. I'll make sure to come by later." With that taemin and you stood up and gave each other a hug. What surprised you was the lips on your cheek, giving you a bunch of butterflies in your stomach. "Bye y/n." Taemin winked and walked out the cafe.

Alarmed and flustered by what happened, you steadily walked back to the counter and just stopped there.

One might consider that to be a cute thing to see in a cute little cafe but jaemin thought otherwise and he was quite literally done with this.

"Come here." Jaemin made a finger motion to you and took you to the back of the cafe, away from the bustling people. "Whats with you and that taemin dude?"

"Why do you care?" You tilted your head up at him with a smirk. If you can manage to successfully push jaemins buttons and walk away with it, this would be the best day ever.

Jaemin took your chin in his index and thumb, bringing your face closer, "I asked you a question. I expect an answer."

"I dont have to answer if I dont want to." You tried swatting his hand away from your chin but he only moved down to your neck, causing you to gasp at the sudden squeeze. Basically, jaemin was choking you out of jealousy. "H-hes just m-my friend." You stuttered as you told the truth expecting jaemin to now let go, but he only softened his grip.

"I hate him."

"You dont know him." You mocked back and jaemin lazily rolled his eyes.

"I dont care if I dont know him I hate the fact that hes with you." Jaemin growled, letting your neck go.

You took the chance to let out a laugh at his frustrated face. This was entertaining to you and for once you had the upper hand, "so youre saying you're jealous?"

Roughly, jaemin slammed your back against the building with his face only mere centimeters from yours. You could smell the scent of mint in his breath too. "Maybe I am." Jaemin pushed a knee between your legs. "Shouldnt mess with my girl. And you shouldn't have let him kiss your cheek." Jaemins lips hovered over your lips. His hands harshly gripped your hips, moving you them over his thigh. Hearing the sound of you moaning out in shock, jaemin captured your lips in a kiss, a rough one at that.

His anger was through the roof and he showed that. "Youre mine and only mine. I'm the only one who can touch you like this, kiss you like this." Jaemin kissed down your jaw, still grinding your core on his thigh. You tried silencing your whimpers by biting your hand, but jaemin was quick to stick his fingers in your mouth, causing you to gag and choke.

Without a moments hesitation, jaemin pulled away from your neck to watch you suck around his fingers and he laughed through an angry aura, "If only taemin could see how much of a slut you are for me, maybe he would back off." You whined around his fingers and he pushed deeper down your throat. Your hips stuttered a bit, but kept moving forward, trying to get more friction.

"Such a stupid little girl for nana." Jaemin ruthlessly began fucking your throat with his fingers, "Are you gonna cum out here? What if somebody walks out and sees?" Your eyes rolled back and jaemin hummed still keeping the pace with his fingers and helping you move your hips. "Aww but I bet you wouldn't care. Since your so eager to cum and all." You gripped his wrist becoming more and more desperate to reach your high. Indeed you were so close that you started seeing stars, but jaemin pulled his thigh and fingers away.

"Were you about to cum?" He laughed in your face sadisticly. Your face heated up in embarrassment. "Stupid girl."

Cooing at your red face, jaemin brought you into another kiss, much softer than before but enough to know who's in charge.

"Lets get back to work, yeah?" Jaemin tapped your cheek with his two fingers and walked away leaving you hot and bothered.

Naturally you wouldve followed but you literally almost came in your pants just outside of your work. What were you thinking letting jaemin do that to you? And why did he have such an affect on you to the point that you forgot about what happened with taemin. You couldn't stand out here any longer and went inside. Jaemin was calm as if you didn't almost just get off on his thigh and sucked his fingers off. God this boy was doing something to you and you couldn't take it!

Working next to him seemed even more difficult. You were a hot mess, plus you were horny and honestly jaemins existence wasn't helping. And now, especially now, you realized that lasting until 8:30 was going to be a train wreck.

The school day was normal, yeri was hyper as always and cracking jokes making you spit out your banana milk. And her constant teasing about jaemin was nothing different. Of course you told her what happened the other day, she's your best friend, and she was blown away. Yeri wasn't expecting such news to be dropped on her like that and you couldnt blame her, only shrugging your shoulders and sipping your banana milk.

Stopping mid sip, you saw the boy you were subtly looking for; jaemin. Your reason? Well even you didn't know but your for sure were going to come up with something.

For the past few days jaemin never left your mind. Even when you saw him he always lingered. You could say you missed him. Besides that, taemin was never on your mind anymore. Just jaemin. It was like your mind needed him.

So you got up from your seat, yeri looked up confused and watched as your legs took you to your destination. Your heart was beating rapidly and you weren't even sure how this would go. Either you'll die from embarrassment or be the happiest girl alive. It was the anticipation.

You sucked in a deep breath once you got to him, jaemin peered up at you with curiosity, some other students even found your boldness interesting, until you spoke, "Wanna go out with me?"

[kusundei]

i dont know

its a weird constant thing where its like. fuck i was horrible

but then its also like, why did you do that?

why did you lie? why werent you honest? why did you pretend like you were in recovery and was gonna get better? why did you text me late at night because you wanted to relapse and you never listened to me? it was just kinda like talking to a brick wall and you were digging yourself into a hole that i was just watching. you made me watch and i hated every second of it

like i can defend you. i get you i get it i swear on my life i really do but the only thing i cannot wrap my head around is how other people just dont empathize the same way i do. most of the things i do is centered and concerned with other peoples emotions and how they might feel and yadda yadda

its jsut so. ugh. and then the nonchalant shit during that last week

it was just so so so so dumb

i texted you i needed you to talk to me, yet you post your stories (so i can see them) and complain about me publicly. make our issue everyones problem and drag my name throuugh the mud and i didnt even have the guts to defend myself because i still sympathized with you. even now its sooo weird cuz some people still think were togehter cuz i never said anything publicly? i let people put the pieces together honestly

it was just so crazy

the person you made me seem like i was and hell. even i was confused for a while cuz i was like.. am i really that bad? did i really hurt you that much? i still think about that alot

i dont knoooww im rambling and this isnt even ab the tweet anymkre jts just like ugh

i had good intentions and jve knly really ever asked you for one thing and that was yoyr honesty

it just sucked being lied to over and over and over again and just dealing wjth it. pretending jt wasnt there. pretending j didnt know and that i wasnt aware of what you were really trying to do

mental health matters guys. im not blaming you for doing the things you did because i did the same thing in 2020 to get people to care

but ive always cared you know? maybe this js selfish but i wish yoy couldve treated me differently and at least understood judt a little bit

i have considered yoy my closest for a long time. you knew me inside out but it was just crazy because when we broke up it really felt like you didnt know me at all anymore

im genuinely dumbfounded cuz i cant tell if this tweet its about me or not

[nuttytani]

snowy wonderland

@itsannaslife13​ said: comte with sick prompt 11? please if they’re still open thank you!

a/n: ahhhhh i’m so sorry! this took such a long time cuz of my lazy ass- lol. I actually rewrote this 3 times...yes you read it right- 3 times... until i finally changed the idea from a sick fic to winter- ish/christmas story- i’m sorry about that TvT. i don’t even know if the main dialogue fits the story cuz.... i actually forgot to add it while i was writing it the last time xDDD gyuihygt7uihjg        edit: beta read by my big sis :”D  @mllorei​ /  @lorei-writes​

11. “Thank you for staying with me.” Comte 

fandom: ikemen vampire

pairing: comte x gn!reader

warnings: none 

Morning light filtered through the sheer curtains, awakening you from your deep slumber. A gasp left your cold lips as white clouded your eyes- bringing you back to your senses. Hurriedly, you jumped into your slippers and pulled on a thick coat. Eager hands rubbed off the fog that covered the window- you hissed slightly at the freeze that touched your skin. For a moment you forgot that it was that time of the year, mentally smacking yourself- it was winter for god's sake!

Eyes opened wide, you were mesmerized.

A thick sheet of snow covered everything- the mansion’s garden was now changed into a snowy wonderland. Not to mention the bustling of people and carriages along the cobblestone road. Truly, it was a majestic view- and you wanted to share this moment with a certain someone. A few months back, you two finally confessed to each other and finally got together; which is why you desperately wanted to view the first snow of the year with him. Without another thought; you fumbled out of your room, tripping along the doorway as you made a mad dash to his room.

Your feet stopped automatically when a particular door came in sight, the dainty ornaments surrounding you trembled a bit. Just yesterday, both you and Sebastian had taken time to deck the whole mansion with Christmas decorations- although the two of you were reeling with muscle aches by the end of the day, the hard work had paid off as the hallways looked absolutely smashing! 

With jittery hands, you knocked at the hard mahogany- waiting patiently while you stroked the delicate wreath which was hung. You were caught off guard when twinkling amber eyes peeked through the gap and graced you with a smile. You eyed his toused attire and- oh? Mismatched pair of socks. It was hard to suppress the amused snicker that wanted out of your mouth (which still came out as a wheeze).

“Good morning Mr. Bedhead.” You shot Comte a lopsided grin. 

“Morning- though I’m not the only one with…. unkempt hair,” Comte chuckled at you.

He brought his hands to your head and combed through the unruly strands. Your insides fluttered at the sudden touch, filling you with warmth as a pleased sigh slipped escaped you. Even though it hadn't been too long since both of you started dating, every touch and graze of Comte’s hands on your body always made you feel giddy like a teenager.

“What brings you here this early?” he asked, taking your hands into his.

“I wanted to show you something. Of course, I can't do that with you standing here though.” You wiggled eyebrows at him and added after a pause- “Oh and my apologies for what I’m about to do,” you said- with not an ounce of sorry on your face, instead- mischief glazing your eyes.

Before Comte could get in a word, you grabbed his wrist and dragged the man away- receiving many questioning and intrigued stares from the other residents as you passed by the dining area with a dumb struck Comte following after you. Well- you didn't blame them for their gawking mouths...it wasn’t a normal occurrence to see the mansion’s ‘father’ being dragged away. Not that you cared anyways.

“Why are you in such a hurry, love?” A singy songy voice spoke up from behind.

“Nothing Arthur- mind your own business,” you huffed with Comte still in tow

The writer laughed wolfishly at your retort, flopping the newspaper on the table; he eyed the two rushing figures with an impish look.

“Why won’t you just tell me?” Comte asked again, coming back from his initial shock.

“Nope- we’re almost there!”

“Dear… what in the world-” again, he got cut off, but now mesmerized by his new bright surroundings. 

It was in fact, marvellous, the tiny cold snowflakes drizzled onto both of you; sending shivers down your spine, the feeling was almost therapeutic and you just knew Comte felt the same from the small grin plastered on his face. Instead of holding onto the man’s hand- you now gestured at the air with a swing of your arms.

“This is what I wanted to show! Isn’t it beautiful?” whispering, you blew hot air to your shivering palms.

You failed to notice how Comte turned to look at you with soft- loving eyes. He held your hands and brought them to his chapped lips. Peppering ticklish kisses along your knuckles- your heart almost stopped beating that instant, a pink blush crept up from your cheeks as your mouth went dry. Flustered, you looked anywhere but at Comte. He appeared so ethereal in that moment- shiny hazel eyes looked through long lashes- oh those gorgeous lashes and his uncombed hair which was adorned with specks of white

You let out an awkward cough to hide your embarrassment “So…. w-what do you think?” stammering, you cleared your throat.

“It's wonderful my love, but its beauty is nothing compared to yours,” the man replied slyly, his eyes crinkling in delight- finding your fumbling cute.

You gave him a light hearted smack on the chest at that, laughing while scrunching your nose. Wiggling your arms around his waist as you let out a shaky breath, you felt his own pair pulling you slightly closer. Both of you stood there, looking at each other in comforting peace- as if bewitched by the other’s presence.

Comte’s left hand trailed up from your waist, between the shoulder blades until it rested snugly right below your head. He inched his face closer until your noses touched.

“May I?” he asked for permission, eyes flitting from your lips to your shiny eyes.

Instead of answering, you wrapped your hands around his shoulders- pecking his mouth. Sighing at the contact, Comte ran his tongue along your bottom lip before biting it. You whimpered, allowing him to deepen the kiss. Smell of butter and cologne filled your senses immediately- it was almost too much to bear once your knees started to feel weak. Your heart thrummed rapidly against your chest, making it harder to breathe. Somewhere along the way- your hands shifted to Comte’s short locks, tugging at it to get leverage. His own hands wandered around your waist and back like they had a mind of their own. The silent garden was now filled with both of your soft moans and gasps- produced by each and every jerk of movement.

You then slowly parted, taking shallow yet hurried breaths. Lips now shaking and hands trembling from excitement, the two of you simply stayed that way til calming down. 

“It’s getting colder, shall we go inside?” Comte gave a last peck.

You only nodded in response, he slipped his fingers into your hands as you swung them back and forth,

“Thank you my love.”

“For what?”

“For staying with me,” he said before going back into the mansion- leaving two pairs of footprints on the thick crunchy snow.  

a/n: if you enjoyed reading this, please dont forget to leave a like and/or reblog. feedback is always appreciated. + if you’d like to join my taglist, click here

[thirstybtsthoughts]

hey bunny, ya girl really does need an advice so im just gonna explain to you my problem but if you dont want, dont feel pressured to answer me i know its probably a dumb ask. so. around a month ago i started my new job and i kinda met a guy there and we clicked like really quickly and things kinda spiraled out of control for two days cuz normally im the kind of person who likes to take things slow cuz at the end of the day if im working with someone (relationship wise) i want them to work with me at the same direction (for a relationship yk) but after some steamy😏 (dont blame me he IS hot) events, i think he just wanted a one night thing or smth (and im okay with that i won't pressure him into something he doesnt want ofc) but im getting kind of mixed signals rn and its driving me insane cuz i still like him and we kinda agreed that we want different things from each other so we agreed that its gonna be for the best if we stopped messing around cuz at the end someone's gonna get heartbroken (aka me🤡) but NOW he started texting me (more like sent me a boomer meme where he kinda says that he finds me attractive) and honestly idk anymore?!!? like im getting mixed signals over here but i really do want to text him or talk to him but if he's just continuing to mess around thats not gonna be cool🥺 bunny what do you think? (sorry for the length of this oops)

Sounds like he maybe still wants a friends with benefits kind of thing, or just genuinely wants to be your friend and the flirty texts are his way of communicating with you because he knows you in an intimate way now. I would be clear with him that you're happy to be friends but he's got to stop sending the flirty/sex memes because of your previous agreement and let him know it's confusing. Hopefully he can understand that 🥺

[lostkrbkaccount]

Bakusquad play Just Dance:

Kirishima: Yes I won! Good game bro!

Denki: Aw man! Why'd you have to pick 'Born This Way'?

Kirishima: Cuz Lady Gaga is a queen!

Sero: That is very true!

Mina: Move it losers, it's my turn!

Mina: Now, who dares to challenge me?

Bakugou: *walks in the room*

Bakugou: What are you morons doing now?

Sero: We're playing Just Dance!

Kirishima: Yeah, wanna join?

Bakugou: As if!

Mina: C'mon Bakugou, do this dance with me!

Bakugou: Get fucked!

Mina: What? Afraid you'll lose? Can't say I blame you, I'm really good-

Bakugou: Fuck you Pinky! Gimme that!

*Follow The Leader by J-Law*

Bakugou & Mina: *dancing*

Kirishima: Wow Bakugou, you're really good at this!

Bakugou: Shut up!

Kirishima: Not to mention you look hot moving your hips like that..

Bakugou: WHAT THE HELL-

Mina: Ha! Thanks Kiri, you threw him off! Look Bakugou I'm beating you!!

Bakugou: Like hell I'm letting you win.

*Mina wins*

Mina: I told you that I'm really good!

Bakugou: THATS NOT FAIR, THAT DUMBASS WAS FLIRTING WITH ME AND IT THREW ME OFF! IT DOES COUNT! C'MON, DO IT AGAIN AND I'LL-

Mina: No can do, I've already won!

Bakugou: WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?

Kirishima: What?

Bakugou: DONT PLAY FUCKING DUMB WITH ME! YOU FUCKING KNOW WHAT!

Kirishima: sorry Bakubabe, but I was being honest!

Bakugou: Tch, honest my ass!

Kirishima: you do have nice ass-

Bakugou: SHUT UP!

*Also let me know if you want me to make this into a full fic and I will, and yes I can make it NSFW

[muwur]

idk if this counts as an emergency or comfort request but ive been havin a REAL bad body image week nsnnnsnnnsnn could i maybe request headcanons for either oikawa or kuroo (u can pick if u wanna) with an s/o who is rlly self conscious about being chubby/has a really hard time with food and mayb feels like worthless because theyre not the ideal body type? idk sorry if thats dumb aaaah thank u sm if u choose to do this

self-love

♡ scenarios ♡ for oikawa and kuroo

❧ gn reader

✎ 3.7k words

a/n: hey hun, im sorry to hear you’ve been having a rough time lately. this kind of request actually rlly hits close to home, and if u ever need anything, ur mor than welcome to reach out to me :) i can also help look for resources for help, anything really. this goes for all y’all! i dont want none y’all to feel alone with anything ur going thru cuz we’re in this together! and no need to thank me, the pleasure is mine luv 🥰💕 nothing about this is dumb, ur feelings are valid. i hope this will bring you n many others some comfort. also,, FUCK BODY STANDARDS MAKIN US BELIEVE THERE’S AN IDEAL TYPE BC THERE IS NONE N Y’ALL R BEAUTIFUL N IF U DUN THINK SO I WILL COME OVER DER,,, ok im done 🥰🥰 (more notes at the bottom of this, i talk a lot n think its important, didnt wanna add it up here bc it was too long lolol) tw: mentions of bad body and implies disordered eating behaviors

 oikawa

♡ Oikawa was pretty keen, so when he observed a gradual shift in your behavior, he definitely took notice

♡ One day when you showed up to lunchtime empty-handed and sat with your two friends, casually chatting, Oikawa and Iwaizumi gave you a questioning look

♡ “Where’s your lunch, y/n?” Oikawa asked

♡ “Oh, I, uh, ate it already, actually.”

♡ Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow and offered you some of his, but you declined, thanking him and stating you were already full

♡ Later that day in class, however, Oikawa couldn’t help but notice the absence of your boxed lunch container in your unzipped backpack

♡ The next day, you came empty-handed again, blaming it on your forgetfulness during your rush to get to school

♡ However, it became a normal occurrence over time, and while you seemed fine, uneasiness began to prick inside Oikawa’s stomach

♡ Those smiles you wore appeared fragile, and the laughter that rumbled from your throat felt restrained

♡ You seemed more tired and unfocused than usual

♡ Preoccupied, withdrawn, and distant

♡ He could sense something was bothering you, no matter how much you may (or may not) have tried to hide it

♡ On his way to school one morning, he made sure to stop by a convenience store to pick one of your favorite snacks, thinking it was a simple gesture to brighten up the somber aura he’s been detecting from you

♡ “I have a surprise for you, y/n~” Oikawa announced with excitement, rummaging through his bag to pull out the snack and show it to you. “Look, it’s your favorite!”

♡ You could only offer him an uneasy smile, “Oh, you shouldn’t have...” You really shouldn’t have...

♡ When he noticed the tension in your body and expression, a frown appeared on his lips

♡ “Y/n? Is something wrong?” He reached out to place a comforting hand on your shoulder but you swiftly flinched away

♡ ”I’m fine..!”

♡ Surprised at your sudden movement and outburst, you both felt a split second of apprehension crackle in the air before you started to gather your items in a rush

♡ Sighing, you repeated, “I’m fine.”

♡ He wasn’t sure whether you were speaking to him or yourself

♡ “Thanks for the snack, but I’ll pass. Have it for me. You need it more, anyways; you have volleyball practice. I’ll see you tomorrow, Oikawa,” you offered him a solemn smile and left before he could even reply

♡ Some time had passed before he could finally get you to open up to him

♡ And when you did, it crushed his heart to see how much your insecurities broke you

♡ It hurt to hear how low you thought about yourself; how you couldn’t see the beauty in your being; how you deemed food, your body, and yourself as your worst enemies

♡ Thus bringing you to the conclusion that maybe you’d be happy and like yourself if you could just give up that midday snack or your school lunch

♡ Even raincheck a cafe date you were supposed to have together

♡ Maybe also skip dinner, sometimes breakfast the next morning as well

♡ You could manage on just water

♡ Little sacrifices to shed some weight, feel better, and get closer to your ideal body goals

♡ You admitted, however, to questioning whether any of it was worth it

♡ The constant states of hunger, pain, and defeat you lived in

♡ Only to feel as though you were getting nowhere

♡ Oikawa was well aware of today’s beauty standards. I mean, he himself was often praised for his natural charm and beauty

♡ And you felt you could never reach that ideal

♡ “Oikawa, you’re too good for me.”

♡ His eyebrows knitted in concern as he lifted his right hand to caress your cheek softly. “And why do you say that?”

♡ Tears threatened to prick at your eyes. All you could was stare at the ground in silent shame

♡ When you still said nothing, he leaned in closer, his brown gaze softly pleading

♡ “Y/n, look at me.”

♡ When your eyes flickered up to meet his own, Oikawa asked, “You know I love you, right?”

♡ His question was met with a meek, “Yes.”

♡ From your clouded glaze, he could tell that you had a hard time believing in your own response

♡  “Do you know why?”

♡ But before you could respond, he was already answering his own question

♡ “Well...” he began, glancing up in thought and wearing a small smile

♡ “Something about you makes me want to be by your side. I love to see your smiles and hear your laughter, but I always want to be there to hold you when you’re crying and in pain.”

♡ “You’re supportive. You understand what I need, and I don’t always have to explain myself to you. You take your time with me and make me feel like I can be myself. Not many people have stuck around to actually get to know me. Because of that, you’ve never failed to make my day a little better with just your presence.”

♡ “You’re strong and caring. I can rely on you to have my back, and I hope I provide that same comfort to you as well.”

♡ “I love being able to lazy around with you or go on adventures and discover something new. It’s comfortable and exciting at the same time.”

♡ “Your hands feel like they were made to hold mine.”

♡ He reached down to squeeze your hand gently

♡ “Kissing you makes me forget about everything else on my mind. I can just live in the present with you.”

♡ He moved close and gave you a peck above your eyebrow

♡ “You make me want to work hard and be a better person. You help motivate me to try my best, and you never give up on me. Why would I ever give up on you?”

♡  “I learn something new with you everyday. Like right now, I realize that I’ve never met someone who could so easily make my heart race as they could make my heart break.”

♡ “When I look at you, all I can think about is how beautiful you are and how lucky I am to have you in my life as a partner and one of my best friends. Nobody else could fill the gaps within me the same way you do.”

♡ Leaning over to brush his lips against your forehead, he muttered, “I’m going to love every part of you, inside and out. You’re already my ideal. I couldn’t ask for anything more. I could go on about every detail on why I feel so strongly for you, but I’m here to show you everything there is to appreciate about yourself because you’re worth every ounce of care and effort. And if you can’t see it in yourself right now, I’ll love you more than enough for the both of us until you learn to love yourself. I’m here to help.”

♡ And after crying out your tears into his shoulder as he held you close and rubbed your back, you both went to his house to relax and have some dinner

♡ He was patient with you, taking into account how having a meal may have made you feel anxious

♡ It was something small and simple that you two agreed to prepare and share, after some tender coaxing from Oikawa

♡ He later made a list in his journal about tips to keep in mind:

♡ ‘Check up on y/n often to see how they’re feeling’

♡ ‘Encourage them to eat meals/snacks. Don’t be too pushy, but be patient. Try to have eat with them when you can!’

♡ ‘Remind them they don’t have to earn the right to eat, and that their body doesn’t define their worth‘

♡ ‘Look into some mindfulness techniques!’

♡ ‘Don’t overvalue physical appearance. Also focus on all the other redeeming qualities y/n has! But of course I’m always gonna tell them they look cutee--’

♡ True to his word, he remained understanding

♡ He’s there to listen to you, or to sit with you in comforting silence

♡ During lunch he would share his food with you, reassuring you that it wasn’t something you had to avoid

♡ Some days he succeeds in encouraging you to share a milk bun or your favorite snack with him

♡ And on days you really didn’t feel like it, he never forces anything onto you and instead made sure you at least hydrated

♡ Oikawa spends some time doing research and gathering tips on how to help you

♡ Always reminds you of your worth and how you bring out the best in him

♡ He’ll never hold it against you if you ever become hostile, irritated, or in denial. He knows you’re hurting and doesn’t take it personally

♡ Sends you cute memes with all those emoji hearts

♡ Also some food puns (Oikawa: “I’m soy into you. Please brie mine. We are mint to be. I ap-peach-iate you. You got a pizza my heart. Olive you--” ; You: *puts a hand over his mouth* ; Oikawa: 🥺 ; You: “...olive you, too”)

♡ Always ready to give up what he’s doing to make sure you’re okay

♡ Will stay up with you late at night to talk on the phone

♡ Reminds you you’re beautiful at least 8 times a day

♡ If y’all ever go shopping and you try things on in the fitting room,, Oikawa would be your #1 hype man

♡ One time you tried something on, and you were almost too ashamed to step out and show him

♡ But when you did, you were met with his surprise and excitement

♡ “dfghjklkuyfuh” was all you could process from his incoherent speech before he insisted on treating you by purchasing it for you (Oikawa: “Can you wear this for me, like, everyday?” ; You: *weird look* “Why are you like this??” you love it tho--)

♡ Gushes internally over how cute you are during your movie + cuddle sessions, mostly pays attention to you rather than the movie

♡ Mid-movie be like:

♡ Oikawa: “So, uh, what’s happening again?

♡ You: -.- “You might as well google the whole synopsis instead of watching it”

♡ Oikawa: “...it’s not my fault you’re distracting, babe”

♡ Always politely excuses himself from his fangirls to get to you. Also reassures you he much prefers to be with you than anyone else and that you’re the best catch ;)) (You: “Oikawa, no” ; Oikawa: “y/n, yes”)

♡ Suggested doing some meditation together once

♡ You listened to a recording and you sat side by side on a mat, but Oikawa thought the person’s voice sounded funny so he had a hard time focusing

♡ But it ended with y’all laughing and making jokes as he lay his lead on your lap and you played with his hair

♡ Y’all get better at it tho

♡ Cooking dates! To try to show you that food isn’t an enemy and can bring people together :)

♡ Puts music on so y’all can jam together (Oikawa: “Oh my gosh, y/n, this is my favorite song, you’re not even rEADY to see me perform-- ; You: “Oikawa, t-the food! It’s burning!!”)

♡ Cooking dates also show that you should never leave the stove unattended

♡ Every once in a while he suggests seeking professional help. He wishes he could take away your pain and help you all his own, but he knows this is more complicated and required outside help, too

♡ Has help resources READY

♡ As well as small snacks like granola bars for you if you ever feel faint

♡ He doesn’t hesitate to confront you when he feels it’s necessary and he’s worried about your habits

♡ He handles things well, though, and often convinces you to take care of yourself more, even though he’s there to look after you

♡ Has made it his mission to help you win against your battle with insecurities

♡ Overall, he’s very caring and empathetic, hoping one day you’ll see yourself the way he sees you 💖 : strong, amazing, breathtaking, & perfectly imperfect

kuroo

♡ Occasionally, you would think about the day you broke down in front of him

♡ Your body racked with repressed whimpers as you tried to wipe the tears from your eyes and describe the recent state of your mind through choked sobs

♡ Lately, your thoughts were being especially relentless in making you feel miserable

♡ Oftentimes you’d be able to shove the negative thoughts to the back of your mind and carry on your day as usual, expertly acting as though everything in your life was going smoothly

♡ However, you found yourself fighting a losing battle against your own conscious, heavily preoccupied with thoughts of your own worthlessness

♡ And so you tried to cope

♡ But you were painfully aware of everything you felt was wrong with you

♡ You felt uncomfortable in your skin

♡ Every time you passed by your own reflection, you couldn’t help but mentally recoil at the image looking back at you

♡ Your clothes didn’t fit right

♡ Even when you opted for baggy clothes, you felt like you were taking up all the space in them

♡ Maybe it was the weight gain. You could see and feel it in your face, your arms, your stomach, your legs... everywhere

♡ You just wanted to hide away your shame

♡ Perhaps it was the dessert you allowed yourself to eat the other day. Foolish of you to think then that you wouldn’t regret it as much as you did afterwards

♡ As a consequence of those foolish actions, you made mental notes about anything and everything you ate. What it was, how much of it you had, etc

♡ Trying to restrict so that maybe you would lose some weight and come to like how you look

♡ Your obsessive thoughts of food and weight overtook your mind like a dark cloud

♡ Your favorite foods, which before would never fail to brighten your mood, taunted you with shame and guilt

♡ Exercise? Sometimes it was an activity you genuinely enjoyed. Other times, a chore that made you feel shitty or numb and reinforced your unhealthy desire to lose

♡ And you sometimes found yourself crying over your last meal, one you know you didn’t need. One you didn’t deserve

♡ And each time you released the reins on your self-control, you felt pathetic going against the vow you made to yourself  

♡ At this rate, you’d never be beautiful or be happy with yourself

-You’d remain unworthy, fat, disgusting--

-But before you could continue, your story was cut off by the impact of Kuroo’s embrace

-Your surprise silenced your sobs, and you could only stare wide-eyed at the space in front of you as you felt his arms squeeze tightly around your frame

-You both sat there for a few moments on your knees, with your back lightly leaning against a wall

- “I’m sorry for the pain you’re experiencing,” he begins softly. “Thank you for sharing with me. It must’ve taken a lot for you to do that.”

-He was right. It was your first time reaching out to another person about this. It was the last thing you thought you would’ve done today

- “I want to let you know that you shouldn’t be ashamed for feeling this way. Reaching out is important and brings you the help you need to get better. I know you might not want help right now or think that these thoughts and behaviors are a problem. However, telling me about all this shows that some part of you is recognizing there’s something wrong and you can’t always handle it on your own.”

-There were many reasons you kept this to yourself. You didn’t want to bother anyone else. Your problems seemed so trivial.  You worried saying them aloud would confirm your beliefs. You were scared people would see you differently. You--

-The intrusive thoughts never failed to make you feel ashamed

-However, it was oddly comforting to release the pent up emotions. To know you didn’t have to bottle up this burden anymore, and that you weren’t alone

-You were about to murmur in response when,

- “Also, you’re an idiot, y/n.”

- “Wow, thanks, as if I don’t already think that about myself,” you bit back in response

-You were about to shove him away just when he released his grip around your body and placed his hands on your shoulders

-His eyes shone with determination and a faint, inviting smile spread on his lips

- “You are the one of the single most important things in my life. I just mean you’re an idiot in the sense that you’re overevaluating one aspect to define your whole self. You’ve forgotten about all your other redeeming qualities that contribute to who you are.”

♡ “Your size, weight, shape; none of that matters. What matters is your health and happiness. Neglecting yourself in order to reach an ‘ideal’ that you’ve concluded is the answer to your self-worth is only bringing you farther away from what you truly want.”

♡ “I don’t mean to downplay any of your emotions or how significant this is to you. Your first step was to put your trust into someone else about this. That’s done. Now, I’m here to help you undergo self-evaluation and serve as encouragement on your journey to self-love and acceptance.”

♡ “I also want to remind you progress is not linear. There will be times when things are harder, and that’s okay; it’s part of the process. If you’re open to getting better in the future, I’m sure as hell going to be there every step of the way.”

♡ And with a soft peck to the forehead and another hug, he nuzzled into your neck and muttered, “I love you. And I want you to love yourself. So, please, allow me to help you through this and I guarantee that by the end of it all, it’ll have been so worth it.”

♡ Unsure what to say, you gripped his jacket tighter, buried your head in his shoulder, and muttered, “Thank you.”

♡ While the negative feelings about yourself remained afterward, you were relieved that your boyfriend was supportive and calm

♡ He treated you the same as always, teasing you over dumb things while making you feel like you stood among the highest peaks on Earth

♡ The day after, he had shown up to your house, weary-eyed and carrying his backpack

♡ “Kuroo? Why are you here? Also, why do you look so tired??”

♡ He stepped into your house with a yawn. He stretched his arms, then reached for his bag and whipped out his laptop

♡ “I stayed up a bit last night to do some research, babe! I also learned a lot about nutrition and molecular gastronomy, so I could help you come up with a meal plan that you’re okay with!”

♡ You were touched he was educating himself on how to help you

♡ But you drew the line at the science jokes-- (Kuroo: “You know you love them.” ; You: “‘Na’ I don’t.” ; Kuroo: :ooo “Did you just-- Marry me.”) (Na = sodium lol)

♡ His nutritional research helped you to learn the contents of food beyond calories; mans explains the vitamins, nutrients, amino acids, etc in them that you need and their benefits

♡ “Trout, avocados, and almonds have vitamin E, which is good for your skin! Oh, and don’t get me started on bananas. Yes, they have carbs (which your body needs anyway as a source of energy!), but POTASSIUM?? Shit’s gonna regulate your fluid balance, maintain heart health, stimulate normal muscle function, AND help your brain to communicate with the rest of your body!”

♡ ALSO cooking dates; just as chaotic (“Aw mannn, the egg exploded all over the microwave!” dont ask y it was being microwaved)

♡ Over time, he’s taken mental notes about your thoughts, feelings, triggers, etc

♡ He’s quick to pick up on your mood and will always ask you how you’re doing

♡ Tries to do something special for you on days you’re especially not feeling well, like taking you on a spontaneous date! (You: “Do you know how to ice skate?” ; Kuroo: “Uhh,,, after today, I will hopefully”)

♡ But will also opt for staying in with you and cuddling when you don’t want to go out (Kuroo: “I heard this movie is soooo bad! ...wanna watch it?”)

♡ Invited you to the beach with his team during the first week of summer

♡ You were unsure about this, since that meant going out in public, potentially with minimal clothing

♡ You initially sat on a beach towel under an umbrella, wearing the security of a T-shirt. He’d been aware of how you felt ever since he asked you to come, so he would sit with you and link an arm around your shoulder

♡ “I’m lucky I get to spend this day with you,” he’d say. “You look gorgeous. You always do. Now, I wanna see you smile and have fun. Let’s go take a dip, yeah?” He offered his hand, which you shyly took, and pulled you up

♡ Then immediately picked you up and started running to the water to get you soaking wet, and you were forced to ditch the heavy, waterlogged shirt

♡ However, you silently thanked him for his sweet words, making you feel secure enough to just forget your worries and enjoy the warm sun and cool water

♡ He also tries his best to lessen your anxieties over food and often shares/eats meals with you

♡ Reminds you everyday how much you’re worth to him and that there’s nothing about you that needs to change

♡ This sweet, protective, n smart boi will treat you how you deserve. It’s a guarantee he’ll be there through thick and thin, and he’s excited for the day you realize you’re just as amazing as he knows you are 💕

a/n: oop this was rlly long lol mb, i just may or may not personally know a bit about this so i went oFF

also neded to some som silly n fluff bc we all need dat

also, these r like kinda hc’s ?? but also a deconstructed oneshot/scenario?? bc they provide some rly brief bg story? one from more  of the character perspective while the other more on y/n before we get  to the hc’s about how he treats y/n. how everyone struggles w body image is different n i wanted to portray a bit of what it felt like and how it could manifest in ppl’s behaviors/thoughts. however, this is not to say that everyone feels exactly like this. what i wrote only represents a fraction of it all.

by providing some sort of bg i hope im not making u feel like this isnt u  or that u cant relate, pls lmk if i need to change anything to make it  right for u <3 ok now im actually done sry long author’s note  rfguhofe this is just rlly important to me y’all  , stay safe n take care, much luv for u <3