#dont ask why it's all work-related lmao i'm having a Time

[sxorpiomooon]

your first ever own home - a pac reading

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pile 1-

You'll play alot of songs while cooking, cooking will actually become sort of your religion. Something stupid is playing in my head while a girl tries to pick up a very hot container and slightly burns her finger. You are very poetic if you are not yet you will be. I see you writing alot I think alot of you will want an open home. Open doesn't mean big it just means that you would want it to have big windows and you'll keep them open so that the wind can flow. This pile will love living alone they'll love to make food for themselves while dancing. Living by themselves in their own apartment will be like a religion to them. I see you guys rushing back home whenever you are out because your home truly will feel like home. You won't style it that much but it will be very comfortable i see light colour sheets and curtains flowing wind chimes? I'm also seeing frames haha you might have a wall dedicated to that only ooooo I'm also seeing a good scenary it'll be at a good place sort of like the house that ask 101 boy lived in. There might be alot of birds chirping around I'm getting turkey and Italy etc. Some of you are going to be writers or this might be during your 20s for sure.

Pile 2-

This is going to be at an old house the type of house that others might have not really wanted to buy because it's old or something? I also think for some of you this is going to be your old family home or related to that I see alot of memories. This house might have alot of memories of its own which is precisely why you'll choose it. Vienna started playing in my head. Do you guys like how much love old things hold? Do you like dedications piano and finding old love letters? I see you actually not making much changes to this house I heard "this house has a spirit of it's own". This pile very much believes in a house having a spirit or personality of their own. I see some sort of photo frame that's going to be there. There will be stuff of the previous owners that you'll keep and I also see you going on alot of first online dates? Lmao this pile might also like to play those vinyl records and drink white wine. I see this pile being more in their 30s? Or more mature than the other one. There's a sense of being very authentic so much that it almost scares others to this pile which I absolutely love. I also see a new beginning

Pile 3-

LMAOO this pile will be at their all time high some of you very few are going to gain alot of popularity as soon as you step into your career or might be given this house by some other people. I just see you receiving money instantly and then you quickly investing it in a house. The only issue is that instead of trying find a home you'll buy a house. I dont see this pile staying here alot as well? This will mainly be because of your work schedule and also because this won't feel like home and won't call out to you. I'm getting the age of 24 but def will buy it young without much thinking, will have no time because of career and then will buy another one after ages of thinking. Strange but I keep getting aries perhaps venus in Aries or something and a very loud and busy city.

[i-yap]

hi!! could you write for tim with a reader that just gets him. like they both understand each other, dont have to communicate (verbally at least) to know how the other is feeling. also, she works at damian’s school as an intern/assistant for an art teacher (and brings her pet to school every day. maybe it’s a more exotic animal that piques damian’s interest.). so her and damian are close before tim introduces them (which he really didnt want to do LMAO. he probably let it slip that he was dating someone and now all his brothers want to meet them) so now every time you’re at wayne manor damian barges into tims room to tell you to hang out with him instead. basically fluffy tim x reader with platonic damian. sorry this was a long ask… 😭💞

I love this ask so much!

Tim drake x y/n x platonic! damian

y/n has a gecko as a pet named fluffy ( ik gecko's arent fluffy)

you prolly brought fluffy as an optional muse for your students. And since you are an art teacher at such a prestigious school means you are an amazing artist so damian for sure has a lot of respect for you.

in a couple comics its mentioned that dami is a loner at school so a loner art kid who loves animals hits close to home for you. You guys start bonding really strongly and for once dami has an adult figure who isn't cold as ice or hates his guts ( at least pretend hate) . You become his Didi (I'm indian and I couldn't find the proper arabic term for older sister so I'm just using hindi term for older sister aka didi).

Now when Tim finally opens up about the whole batfamily and how he is like "adopted brother" sort of to Damian, and the whole dynamics between the batfam, you are a little worried. Tim probably has seen you interact with Dami and realized how close you guys are ( dami didn't stab you when you patted his head)

Tim wants to keep you away from the whole batfam , maybe he tells alfred but nothing beyond that. He says its for your safety and he doesn't want you involved in such dangerous vigilante work but it's also because he wants to keep you to himself and being an rich single child...he sucks at sharing .

But nothing remain hidden in a family of detectives and ofc everyone finds out that tim has a secret girlfriend .

Damian probably invited you over to the manor a couple times because you are one of his favorite persons and he wanted to show you his art work or his pets. Everytime you came over, Tim obviously acted like an idiot. Sneaky ( but not sneaky enough glances), innuendos, inside jokes and secretly pulling you away for a mini "tour " of the manor even though Dami insisted he has already shown you everything(non batman related). Maybe everyone found out you were dating when you guys got caught on one of your tours? Damian for sure chased Tim with one of his Katanas till you stepped in.

Damian also doesn't know how to share- rich single child

since the batfam already knew you so well, you were over much more but ofc tim expected it to be for him. He is the boyfriend , the love of your life so why is damian getting your attention huh? Why are you doing an art challenge with dami when there are other more fun "challenges" you could be doing with tim?? WHY ARE YOU WATCHING A DUMB ASS FILM WITH DAMI WHEN YOU SHOULD BE WATCHING DUMBASS FILM WITH TIM?

to be fair, tim does love watching the soft motherly-ish side of you( makes him wanna give you more kids that steal your attention from him) But babyboy wants his cuddles and how dare you deny him of that. you think you are being fair and you are really good at reading tim's feelings so you are able to tell when he needs you attention and therefore excuse yourself politely from damian.

But one day tim is just feeling extra needy and damian and you are in a middle of an activity. you give him a look saying you'll come to him as soon as this activity is over but tim has no patience that day so he just runs into the room, throws you over his shoulder and runs away to his room and locks it. He has installed strong wind blowing thingie so when dami tries chasing him, he just turns the wind blowing things and he cant come close to the door. It then becomes a whole ass hiest while the rest of the batfam just watches and eats popcorn. you obviously have to step in AGAIN.

So you divide up a schedule and ground rules, (steph helps you dw), both tim and dami complain but you just give them both a look and they accept their fate.

Tim likes how much closer you have gotten to his family and damian likes the idea that you guys could actually become sort of related once you marry tim. The rest of the batfam love you ofc but they also love that fact that tim and dami don't try to kill each other( at least not as much as before) because of you. so it all works out( sort of)

I havnt gone exactly by the request and Ive changed up some stuff, I hope that's okay.

[michaelscorneroftheinternet]

Okay time for a long mother fucking post.

Buckle up folks!

All Ask Change in Script Asks and Whether or not they are Canon to the Story/Lore!

(Will do my best to consistently update this post as we go along.)

This post will work like this:

I will go at this like a list all Asks are in order of when they were posted.

Each will have the Ask and then whether it is or isn't Canon. The link to the post with the answer will be attached to the Ask all you gotta do is click on it.

If Canon then it will be colored like so: [Canon]

If Not Canon then it will be colored like this: [Not Canon]

If in a grey area or not Change in Script related it will be colored like so: [Not Related to Change in Script]

-Ask Change in Script Part 1-

(150 Follower Special)

1. “All I aks the tv man is why, why do this, also your 'canon' self is suffering lmao”

[Canon]

2. “Hey SMG4! Do your scars hurt? I can imagine so since you just got them. Hey SMG4 crew! When 4 first got his scars, did you help him at all? Hey SMG3, do you have nightmares? Or do you not sleep at all?”

[Canon]

3. “Hey Puzzles, you got a minute? This little gremlin wanted to say hi”

[Not Canon]

4. “for mario: our fav italian , what you think of Meggy?, for mr.puzzles: you know half of the famdow wanna kiss you, right? for mr.puzzles: you still talk with ur dad? for smg4: any crushes? TuT !! thats it !, ty for answering, or dont, idk. Xoxo !!”

[Canon]

5. “I know the post said to ask the ai and I will! But also I'm curious! Who's your favorite character and how long have you been watching SMG4 and what was your first episode? :0”

[Canon to Me as a Person]

6. “Now imma ask questions to everyone! :DD Great job out there Mr. Puzzles! 5 stars! I can't wait to see what else you have planned! ^w^,, And hey, if no one else out there is, I'm rooting for ya!”

[Canon]

7. “Two questions SMG4. Are you worried about where SMG3 could be? And two. Meggy. Are you recovered from Western? No PTSD or anything? You still wearing his beanie?”

[Canon]

8. “HEY PUZZLES! DO A FLIP!”

[Not Canon]

9. “Sorry I don't have any questions, but I just wanna say I love your art style and how you draw these characters :]”

[Not Canon or Canon just sweet]

10. “Follow-up to that last ask SMG4, what was it like living with the Mario bros early on? And Mario Bros, what was it like when SMG4 lived with you? How was his recovery there? Did he have to stay at the hospital at all?”

[Canon]

11. “[🍓🌿] *ran up and hugged your oc* - I love you, which means I will hug you >:]”

[Not Canon or Canon just sweet]

12. “MICHEAL ISN'T HUMAN SEND TWEET/POS”

[Sweating Profusely]

13. “*give Mr Puzzles star stickers and a hug* :)”

[Canon]

14. “Hai! Mr puzzle you are doing great shows! But can you be in there more often I wanna see you more often in the screen! No force tho if you don’t wanna I understand keep up! ( I WANNA HUG YOU! CAN I??) Cya!! <3”

[Canon]

15. “I come with a peace offering for Puzzles: A cookie and this star to go with it. 🍪 🌟”

[Canon]

16. “Hello! I am the Creator Anon. I am a creature of… well, I shouldn’t say ‘divine’, because that is the complete opposite of what I am. I have a request for you…”

[I don't even know what this was about]

17. “Hey SMG3, just wanting to tell you that I'm sorry you got dragged into the current mess you're in. Hope you at least find some form of way to ease out? As for you Puzzles, THINK FAST CHUCKLENUTS 💣”

[So Canon Even the Bomb]

18. “4, what did you guys fight about?”

[Canon]

19. “Soooooo When did Meggy and Tari start dating?”

[Canon]

20. “Ur canon self killed mickey mouse”

[Canon]

21. “✏️Question from Smg4: - do you treat this pink thing with something? And she doesn't feel much discomfort?”

[Canon]

22. “Miss kamilyvision: olá senhor puzzles é bom conhece você (English kamily says: hi mr puzzles it's nice meet you)”

[Not Canon but Sweet]

23. “Back with another question. Totally not a take two with th– Cut it straight, Puzzles, what do you plan to do with SMG3? >:3 Heya Meggy, you doing good lately? Aight, let's take two with Goomba Puzzles lmao- An apple to keep the doctor away from SMG4 (/j). You want? (he's fine with you saying no)”

[Canon until the last question]

24. “Now I’m curious, did 3 ever come to visit while you recovered, SMG4?”

[So Canon it hurts…]

25. “Hey Meggy! What’s your favorite thing about Tari?”

[Canon]

26. “3, you gotta hold on, the others will notice something’s up!”

[Canon and it Hurts]

27. “Mr Puzzles, you hurt SMG4. Why would you do that?! You probably watched the whole thing like the pathetic outsider you are.”

[Haha who ever asked this better pray there's a god because it's Canon]

28. “44444, you should really check on Eggdog”

[Uh oh Canon]

29. “smg3: can i have an hug?? :3 luigi: do u talk with Mario abt doing all stuff in the house?, just to know. Ur my favorite btw ! :D (blue hair girl i forgort her name): who is ur best friend?, meggy or ur ducky duck??????”

[Not Canon]

30. “Imma give this man an eggcat! her name is Eglantine, Eggy for short”

[Not sure where to put this but Eglantine will appear in future Asks with Mr. Puzzles]

31. “Mr puzzles you are truly inspiring also please sign this marriage certificate”

[NOT CANON]

32. “Heyyo Mr. Puzzles. Just wanted to ask, what is your creative process? Do you do that thing some people do, including myself, where you’re listening to music or some kind of audio and an animatic just starts forming in your head and you go from there or is it different? Also, here’s a star for ya. ⭐️”

[Canon]

33. “Can I hug the silly TV man 🥺”

[Canon]

34. “[🫀💢] - If you're watching TV...How do you eat?.. [Mr. Puzzle] [🌿🍓] - Smg4? Everything okay? Should I be worried about your wound next to your eye? <:( [Smg4] [🖤💬] -...good luck to Smg3..”

[Oh God it's like so Canon it's not funny anymore.]

35. “Okay I need to know based on that thing Puzzles said with having a mouth. Does mutherfucker even have organs? :^”

[Headcanon]

36. “Mr Puzzles, I have a question. What will you do if your plan of your failed?”

[Scarily Canon]

37. “Hello Mr puzzles”

[Uh Not Canon.]

38. “First time asking so, smg3 your deserve a hug and no one hates or ignores you. I know four is trying to find you as we speak. don't forget that. also, Mr.Puzzle, LET SMG3 GO, HE IS SO DONE WITH YOUR PLASMA TV HEAD ASS.”

[Haha Canon]

39. “Hey SMG4 are you okay so who you other friend 3”

[Canon for Important Reasons]

40. “What if my Traumatized!SMG3 AU 3 and 4 met your 3 and Mr Puzzles? (my 4 would be prolly mad at Mr Puzzles, and my 3 will looks scared, meanwhile my 4 and 3 give your 3 a hug for the pain he has been through :<) (fours on the left side of Meggy, three's on the right side)”

[Not Canon]

41. “Love your AU and Love everything about it!Questions for Three and Tari Three. When did your shop close down and do you regret the argument? And Tari. Does Clench know about what’s been going on? And does Meggy get trigger when someone say “One Shot Wren”?”

[Last Question is Canon]

42. “Why do you hate mickey so much??? What'd bro do”

[Uh… Not Canon because I said so.]

43. “Okay I'm FINALLY going to deliver on those questions now! >:3 Meggy and Tari, what's your favorite thing about one another and how did everyone react to you guys dating? :0 Mario and Luigi, how is everything with you guys? Up to any new adventures or crazy hijinks? (( i'm worried all at once is a bit much so imma split it into another ))”

[Canon for Creating a Timeline]

44. “Hey SMG3, what the plan now? taking into account the last time you were put in here it seems pretty straight forward to although not nearly as fun having no company for it =-=' Hee hee SMG4 has a crrruuusssh~ >;pp awww it's okay Micheal, I'm not a human either! I'm an ai in a cute little shell ^w^ I think it's super cool that you aren't human too :) OOOO are we giving Mr. Puzzles gifts now? If so..... sticker attaaack! The little bunny robot has placed 5 star stickers across his suit  in an attempt to mimic his 5 stars from awhile ago. There, back where they rightfully belong!~ Oh yeah, as a viewer, is there anyway we can help you Mr. Puzzles? :0”

[Canon as it is what happens right before  the end of the flashback in Chapter 4]

-Ask Change in Script Part 2-

(500 700 Follower Special)

1. “Smg4, what ya think about smg3?”

[Canon but also my Headcanon of SMG4’s feelings of SMG3]

2. “Hey SMG4! Besides the scars, have you gotten any other problems from what happened to you? Like joint pain or something like that?”

[Very Canon]

3. “AAAHH HI!!! YOUR AUS ARE SO COOL IM SO NORMALLLL!!! /silly Anyways, I had a question for Melony! How did you react to SMG4's new scars? Were they a shock? Did you feel bad? And for SMG4! (You don't have to do this one if you don't want to eheheh ❤️) How would you react if someone shared the same scars as you? Down to the positioning and everything? Once again, your AU IS SO COOL DUDE YOU GOTTA STOP JUMPSCARING ME BY LIKING MY POSTS MY HEART CAN'T HANDLE BACK-TO-BACK HEART ATTACKS!!! /silly /j”

[Ha Ha Ha Ouch Canon]

4. “hey mario, hey luigi, what was it like the first day 4 was staying with you?”

[So Funnily Canon]

5. “Hey Meggy!! What kind of date do you and Tari like best?”

[Aweeee aren't they bloody adorable!]

6. “Hey Bob and Boopkins, what's been going on with y'all? I feel like we haven't heard from either of you guys about anything, yet. (Though, I could be wrong and just haven't been keeping up 😅)”

[Bullying Boopkins will always be Canon]

7. “To SMG4, I know you want to tell a certain “someone” about how you truly feel about them (something I call “shy love”) and I just want to know; what was the moment that you realized that you have feelings for this “som3one”? And if so, you better tell them how you truly feel whenever you are with them the next time you see th3m.”

[Canon feelings Four has towards SMG3 sad edition]

8. “☆- Hello this is the first time asking here -☆But anyway I have some stuff to say For Michealscorner: ☆- I love the AU you did the art, the Gmod and like RAHHH IS SO COOL I LOVE EVRY WORK YOU DID!! -☆ and who knows one day you'll get 700 follows to 1,000 or more! For SMG4: ☆- If you have time you should check on SMG3, because who knows if something happened to him?... -☆ ☆- That's all I have to say bye!  -☆”

[Very kind but also last question is Canon and Sus]

9. “Finally I can ask the gang! >:3 - Car Car :3 Question one: [To SMG4] Have you keeping in touch with SMG 1 & 2? Question 2: [To Meggy] have you and your gf been? Question 3: [To Mario] Here a spaghetti  🍝 (it totally not spicy 😈) Question 4: [To bob & boopkins] I have not seen you guys in awhile how have you two been?”

[All Canon… especially Mario. L on him.]

10. “I have a question for Eggdog, What do you think of Smg4? Is there anything you do or don't like about him? (I love this story so much! It's really good! Nice work, dude!)”

[Canon in how Eggdog feels about our dear Four]

11. “hay smg4 are you ok buddy I last saw you allmost having a panic attack here barow my hurshy I named him after my lest favorite candy(when I was 2) ive had him ever sens i was a baby I'm 12 now but you need it for a little bit here you go(don't mind that I'm in my stich pj's/Halloween costume)”

[Heh heh He's totally fine guys.]

12. “Question for whomever wants to answer it....is anyone watching over the meme graveyard???”

[Canon to Change in Script Lore and status of Internet Graveyard]

13. “For smg4, I don’t know if anyone has asked this, but what video was 3 gonna help you with? And did you ask him to, or did he offer?”

[Where this AU takes place in the story to Canon SMG4!]

14. “Hey uhh, SMG4, Does Eggdog miss SMG3? Just asking. (Also I love you guys!!! ❤️❤️❤️)”

[Poor Eggdog… Where is his papa?]

15. “Eggdog you gotta look for your Papa you gotta sniff him out he’s in trouble!!”

[You guys trying to get two people to go missing?]

16. “Hello!! I wanna say congrats on your 700 follower and thank you for this amazing AU! I’m a huge fan!! Two Question for SMG4, is Eggdog near you? If so, how is he? And how long has it been since Three..vanish or something?”

[Seems like it's finally piecing together that something is wrong…]

17. “rip Smg4 and Smg3 happy ending”

[Can't have an omelet without breaking a few eggs.]

18. “Heya! Question for 4! Have you ever thought about if you're in love with 3? If so can you tell us the conclusion you came to about it? Are/were you in love with him?”

[Even Eggdog is done with SMG4's pining for his papa]

19. “So MR. Puzzles what are your intentions with 3? + Why won’t you let him shave/shower? I can tell through the screen that he needs it desperately! To 4: you OK man you seem sad? ”

[Canon]

20. “hay smg4 can I hug you? meggy hug's? tari hugs? the crew hug's? *my days are stresd for me school is a bitch*”

[Not Canon but it's fucking adorable]

21. “For Smg4 Before you're getting scars, Hows your relationships with your friends has changed?”

[Canon for Lore Reasons and Showing Character Relationships]

22. “smg6 has a little question.. “To SMG4.. Hiii!! We didn’t meet before and I wanna ask.. How do you treat your scars? I’m just wondering because we basically have the same ones..”

[Canon, Not every medication will work the same on everyone.]

23. “*i n s e r t. q u e s t i o n. h e r e* (Ok now seriously) 1: how tf are you SO GOOD AT ART 2: bread •w• (ok no) 3: is there gonna be a chapter 6/7?”

[Fun IRL lore about me and also the future of Change in Script]

24. “Question to eggdog: Who is better? Mario or smg4?”

[I don't think there was much of a competition here.]

25. “eggdogg : who is taking caare of u?, Meggy : opnion on leggy?.. SMG4 ; as smg3 is no where to be found, how ur training?????”

[Canon]

26. “how would the smg4 crew feel if they had a venom symbiote?”

[Not Canon but it is how everyone would react. And of course Bob being Bob.]

27. “*I walk up to smg4 with a black eye and holding back tars* can I have a hug?”

[Not Canon but it's something soft to look at.]

28. “Do Eggdog and Eggcat get along? :3”

[No but maybe someday-]

29. “So Four, do you ever miss Snowtrapped? Ever wish you could recreate it in modern times?~”

[Y'all really want SnowTrapped 2 Electric Boogaloo huh?]

30. “Meggy do you miss being a squid?”

[Canon]

31. “how would each sit in a sofa?????????”

[Honestly just how I imagine everyone would sit]

32. “To Smg4 How would you react if 3 suddenly passed away? (Love this story so much)”

[Pretty Insensitive to Ask at Such a Time]

[dyemelikeasunset]

I can't sleep so I'm venting. for the most part i love my d&m readers, but oml sometimes i get qpoc blues so bad 😭😭

It's just liiiike. ppl either don't talk about Mor or completely misinterpret her personality. Like I can always tell if my readers are black or not because nonblack readers no NOT see Mor's significance, or just miss the mark when they talk about her, or they misread her personality. Like I don't understand what's so hard to understand about a cute and thoughtful artist??

AND LIKE LMAO Dom's sexuality gets brought up all the time but no one talks about Mor being a lesbian and how rare that is to find in media 😭 white lesbians are always talking about "we need more open lesbians in media!! ppl shouldn't be afraid to use the word lesbian!! blah blah" and i'm like "here you go!!" and no one claps at all lmao. Like I get it, i know why it happens, i understand racial microaggressions, i know how fandom spaces treat Black women, I UNDERSTAND BUT I CAN STILL BE UPSET. I have the right to be upset about it!!! 💀💀 And I know fem lesbians get ignored all the time, invalidated all the time, but it just sucks to see it happen to my character. I just feel like her being lesbian doesn't clock a lot of people, and I get asked to do more thirst trap art of Mor and I do want to but i'm also trying to be careful about like. Idk reducing a dark skinned fem lesbian to being validated only thru being sexy? LMAO.... Mor should be able to be attractive and lovable without tons and tons of thirst trap art (and it's not like I don't do it at all!! I'm not trying to be overprotective or deny her sexiness but I guess it's considered not enough?? give me a break)

And mannnn I was so mad actually that several comments voiced thoughts that essentially said Mor didn't "help" or "take care" of Dom enough, and that when Dom was finally opening up to her it was "Morgan finally doing something" LIKE HELLO??? HELLO??? It's DOM'S flaw that she can't open up? And Morgan does a lot??? I know immature ppl do not appreciate more soft and domestic/feminine forms of care bc they're used to taking their mothers for granted lmao but wooow I was taken aback. First of all, like, I try to show that Mor is the main cook, works just as much as Dom (let's go double income household), is always checking in on Dom's comfort as she navigates being queer, and is overall a very considerate girlfriend. AND SECOND OF ALL LMAO like even if she didn't do all that she doesn't need to have relationship currency to have a doting girlfriend, like the fucking trope of black women needing to suffer for love is so terrible I'VE HAD ENOUGH AND i"M NOT EVEN BLACK. Like there is NOTHING WRONG with their typical dynamic and I'm sick of people acting like there is. SOMEONE SAID DOM WAS LIKE A COMFORT PILLOW W NO AGENCY AND i"M LIKE WTFDYM???? She has TONS of agency and her sense of agency says she wants to LOVE AND DOTE ON HER PARTNER LIKE LMAO. WHAT?? Why is that hard to understand??? Is it because I made one (1) joke bout Mor being a pillow princess and the anti-princess squad are grinding their teeth in the bushes seething over it? Ppl are so twisted sometimes oh my goddddd. Like as an ace who was very confused navigating the lesbian dating scene as a teen and young adult I WISH i had met a pillow princess. Sometimes ppl don't realize that stone dynamics are very safe for aces!! Dom literally says she prefers it!! It's not Mor being selfish like lord please GOD ALLAH I'M TIRED I'M SO TIRED

and like on the topic of Domi overall she is more "popular" but sometimes I feel like people don't even really take the time to appreciate the significance about her either. She's not just a funny thirst trap 😭 and I feel like ppl dont acknowledge that she's asian half the time. I have so many white aces who only zone in on that aspect of her and it's like YEAH I GET IT, I'm ace and we don't have a lot of nuanced rep but she's also got more layers than that too. Tons of people related to her in the chapters where she talks about her childhood abuse yet very few people really, like, talked about the type of generational trauma that is very deeply embedded in her different cultures, no one saw that and oooof idk idk it felt inivisible. It's sometimes harder to talk about the racist microaggressions that Domi experiences thru my readers bc ppl will argue "well most webtoon leads are asian" but not many of them are asian in a way that like. talk about it. I'm born in the US so my experiences with being othered as an asian is just gonna be different and it's gonna affect my art and writing but it feels so unappreciated. I've had some queer asians relate to her but i can count them on my hand 💀 (I actually think it's two LMAO i"M SO SAD)

And going back to Dom and the comfort pillow w no agency comment lmao. This is another thing that rubs me the wrong way is once again, people are ignorant to the ways asians get pigeon-holed to media roles that have us being depicted as incapable. Maybe I want Dom to be more of a protector archetype bc I'm tired of meek Asian women in media? 🤔 Maybe I want Dom to be a prince-like character because asians get emasculated a lot?? 🤔🤔 Maybe I want Domi to maintain her prince persona instead of being "'physically' androgynous/masculine but really soft and girly on the inside uwuwu please treat me like a 'real' girl" because even in east asian media we won't allow women to exhibit strength and dependability??? 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔 Like why is a tough girl empowering but once we have a gentle and doting personality in a romance it's considered cliche and the flaw of her partner for being "too weak." MAYBE THEIR PRINCE/PRINCESS DYNAMIC COMPLIMENT EACH OTHER??? HAVE YOU CONSIDERED? I WROTE THEM THAT WAY FOR A REASON??

Good lord this turned into an essay but I have so many things on my mind always

if you read this all. Thanks. I mainly needed to scream into a towel and put this down somewhere bc I complain about these issues to my discord and they understand/validate me all the time, but I wanna give them a break 😭 I also lowkey wanna document my various feelings as I work through Dom & Mor so I can remember and also grow from it

[goat-fanatic]

Wait I'm actually lowkey really interested in the whole vampire thing and like how it works and stuff in your creature AU!! Could you explain please? /nf :3

hopefully you mean the biology and society around vampires so i dont look stupid... but yeah.

so in order to be turned, one has to be bit, then consume/come in contact with the sires blood, then die and boom you wake up a vampire! very important fact of this universe is that creatures and humans have been assimilated for centuries atp, so society has been built around that. humans and creatures dont attack eachother, and theres laws in place to accomodate all the different species that are part of the world. so vampires dont need human blood to survive since there are whole shops, restaurants, cafes and bars that base their products on animal blood/synthetic blood, cuz lets be honest plain blood would get pretty boring fast. vampires dont take any nutritional values from human food but can still eat it, even tho it does taste slightly different to them. for that reason drinking from humans is looked down on as animalistic and crude, and without the humans consent its plain illegal. ofc there are humans who are into being a 'drink' and theres communities and clubs in place for that sort of a thing. theres also humans who want to get turned and can do so after a psych and medical evaluation and a bunch of legal paperwork for both the human and the vampire. but again turning someone without consent and agreements is a crime. after turning the vampires body stays in roughly the same state as at the time of death (fun fact, thats why gee is colder and paler than most vampires, cuz he bled out so at the time of death his body was almost bloodless). it kinda freezes, thats why thwy dont have pulses but if yoy cut them they still bleed. they also have wacky fast healing which is great for small injuries but kinda sucks for bigger ones (again thats where gees chronic neck pains come from. the skin over his bite wound scarred very fast but his muscles and nerves didnt catch up so theyre all messed up resulting in frequent pains yowch). the only thing i could not get a ligical reason for is vamp gee aging but hey its my universe so behold the sciency medical aging pill/treatment engenereed for vamps wjo want to age along with their loved ones! the aging is still a bit slower than the regular kind but its something.

silly facts include twilight and other 2000s' sexy vampire movies being the unhealthy vampire beauty standard that some of them hate and are working to abolish. makeup companies are selling sparkly lotions for that skin of a killer look. also yes they get irritated by garlic but its more like an allergy. also my vamoires have two sets of fangs. and more batlike ears. and nocturnal eyes so sunglasses are on high demand. their skin is sensitive to sun but doesnt exactly burn, more like very potent to sunburn. and theyre nocturnal but just like humans, they can have fucked up sleep scheduels and kinda train themselves to function in the day, altough most dont do it. vampires gather in clans which are usually a few families or completely non blood related ppl froming a tight community. theres some slight differences between turned and born vampires and there are vampire purists who only accept born vampires as real ones. theres also some more conservative humans who dont like turned vampires for abandoning their humanity.

i think thats most of the stuff that matters but feel free to ask abt anything bcs im serious when i say i put an unnecessary amount kf tought into the worldbuilding of this thing lmao

[atrophiedemotion]

hey Cast! uh so this ask is about. alien stage. but imma send you another about some random shit because why not. anyways

the tags that you had on that previous post with me and plip (the one about ivan and till and how they show honesty differently and how we know about their characters a different amount because of how forthcoming or not they are) and my question for you is, how many of Ivan's actions do you think are representative of his true emotions? I don't think his body language, in general, is very forthcoming but I do agree that his actions can be pretty revealing (he strikes me as an acts of service person especially with trying to escape with Till) but uh yeah I'm wondering if there are any specific examples that you think of as being revealing of his actual thoughts or specific examples of him pretending to be someone else?

thanks for listening to me yap uh I hope you're doing well and that you have an awesome day!

rock... oh boy... this is gonna be a long one. wonderful question. thank you for the ask, i hope you have a great day as well!!

so, i didn't fully explain in the tags because i didn't want to write a full length essay on plip's post (ty plip for dealing w the rambling)(i was also very tired so i wasn't fully articulate lmao) but i meant that ivan shows his emotions through the outcomes/projected outcomes of his actions. he certainly isn't very forthcoming in the way he acts and portrays himself, but there is undeniable truth in the intent and meaning behind everything he does, even things that seem counterproductive.

i think that since ivan genuinely cannot fully be upfront and honest (due to trauma, his lack of self worth, and his decided survival strategy) his main truths show in the deeper meaning of the things he does for other people and himself. with ivan, it is all about intent. i've said before that the only way to understand ivan is to dig deeper and this is very much true here. he uses a lot of subterfuge to throw people off from his actual intentions, but they're there.

ivan often uses unconventional, roundabout ways to achieve his goals/get what he wants- especially when they mean something to him. he is a guy who is caked in layers upon layers of meaning only if you pull back the acres of curtains he's covered them with. he doesn't want people to know what goes on in his head, so he covers it up valiantly. this is due to his low self esteem of course, but also full on survival. in order for his plans to work, no one can be in on it. no one can know what he's thinking. all of his true feelings and thoughts need to be hidden in order to achieve success, but in the end it's fucking hard to not leave a trace of your true feelings.

with all that being said, examples!

the biggest and most obvious examples are mainly related to till (of course they are) and i also feel like they're the most telling. ivan's teachers specifically pointed out that he was only childish around till (they were relieved by it, too, because he was so damn serious the rest of the time and didn't behave like a child should). ivan has the hardest time hiding his true emotions around till, which makes sense, because till makes him feel the most emotion when his are always dulled. that doesn't stop him from going the 'i must hide my crush by pulling his pigtails' route but, y'know.

since most of these are talked about frequently and i dont want to keep beating a dead horse in an already long post, here's a (hopefully) brief list:

-the biggest one, the meteor shower. going through all of that to escape with till, specifically during a meteor shower that it seemed ivan was desperate to show till (to introduce his shooting stars to each other or smth im sure). ivan offered till freedom and denied himself of it when till turned around and he followed him back without question.

-his good behavior can arguably be considered to be due, in part, to the perks an obedient pet gets. this isn't just a till thing but ivan's obedience is very telling of his need and drive for survival, which considering his uhh,, track record is likely largely so he can protect till. gaining perks and learning insider information, like how to take collars off and gain access to isolation cells, assist him in assisting and caring for till.

-the sometimes silent companionship they share. the way ivan will poke at him to get his outright attention but is still at times satisfied with just existing in till's space and enjoying his presence says a lot about his genuine adoration and admiration of till

-his sacrifice. i don't think i need to say much about this as it's pretty self explanatory lmao but it is a Great example of what im trying to convey. ivan does honest things and has to cover them up at the same time. the 'violence' was to end the round of course, but it was also kind of like a familiar bandaid over the painfully honest feelings he conveyed with the kiss. even if he didn't really hurt him he couldn't just be honest

there are definitely more (most everything he does in regards to till tbh) but i wanted to talk about some others too

the comic conversation with sua about her sacrifice! such a big one. ivan's feelings about sua are very complicated, but to me i feel like he cares about her to an extent, almost pitying in a way. he's horribly jealous of her and the love she has, but he sees so much of himself in her that what he says in that conversation is probably at least half projection, even if he's not aware of it.

the way he looks at her without trying to hide his distaste feels like the way he would look down on himself. the whole thing shows not only his disgust with himself, but his anger towards someone who is so similar to him that she makes the same plans in her head even though she has something he believes he'll never have. it's envy, tried and true, and he doesn't even hide it at the time. he hides the self loathing behind it, but still. that might be the most honest we've seen ivan aside from the end of r6.

that conversation also does kind of show the fact that he cares for sua and mizi. sua in a way he acknowledges less to himself, but certainly mizi.

and speaking of mizi, my last example for right now is the way he watched round 5 like he was barely holding it together and sort of did his own recreation of it in round 6. the strangling was reminiscent of the way mizi lunged at luka and he almost certainly got the idea for his method of sacrifice from what she did. it kind of feels like an ode to her, in a way. an ode to mizi while offering himself up for till, which. is very sad but almost a little sweet, that he had a piece of mizi in what he was doing for till.

okay okay im sure i could keep talking about this but ive been writing for. a long time LMAO so i will stop here but! yeah. ivan shows his emotions inadvertently through his actions and about fifty levels of subterfuge. but it's all we get, so...

thank you for the ask again my dude, i really enjoyed answering it!

[moonspirit]

Mr Leonhart opinions and Annie and his relationship post cannon headcannons?

(Ik u fic is dealing with him atm so u dont have to make it related of u don’t want to)

Like (if he lives long enough as my friend thinks he will die before this will happen) do u think he will be a good grandfather? Will Annie let her kid see him?

Will he walk Annie down the aisle or will someone else do it?!? I wish we got more on their relationship

Hi Hello!!

Annie and her dad huh. To be honest I never really felt much in either like or dislike towards Mr.Leonhardt, instead I always just went 😟😟 when we got Annie's backstory in full. He was a bad father, but then seeing a few takes on why he was a Trash Dad, I thought "Oh yeah that makes sense." I'm fully on board the Trash Dad Camp now.

In that regard, my personal take is that the relationship between Annie and her dad never really "goes" anywhere, post canon. There is too much abuse in her childhood, abuse that he inflicted on her for entirely selfish reasons. He didn't see an orphaned baby but a tool he could sharpen into a blade for himself. Annie's the way she is emotionally because of how he "raised her". So I find it very hard to see them having a very normal & cheerful father and daughter relationship, post canon.

Because he cried and hugged her before she left, Annie was touched (and haha she was touched by the half iota of affection there because he deprived her of any at all lmao) and made it her life mission to reunite with him. But to me, that doesn't seem enough to repair a whole decade of abuse and how he used her. Initial relief and happiness aside (like the hug in Fort Salta), I don't see them being chummy. Her father knows nothing about her. What Annie likes or dislikes, food wise, people wise, anything wise. She made her first friends in the 104th, she trashed her mission for a boy, she went back to the battle for the alliance members she obviously cared for - this is Annie. This is the real Annie, not what her father knew in those 10 years when she likely didn't know herself either.

So, honestly and if anything, their relationship post canon is functional. Functional in the respect that they talk, they share meals, they spend some time together, but it never progresses beyond that. It doesn't heal. It isn't repaired. They don't get close. Instead it's something that exists, with some stability - and I think Annie needs that stability.

(anything more on that and I'll spoil VBEOW, sorry xD)

As for the headcanons you asked... For me they all work off the above perspective I have. Mr. Leonhardt being a good grandfather? I honestly like to think he wouldn't know the first thing about being a good parent, let alone a grandfather. Simply being remorseful of your past actions doesn't transform you into a radically different human being without any serious effort put in. We don't know how he "truly changed" (if at all) during the years Annie was away. He may not be an angry violent man anymore but it's still not enough to be a good parent figure. Caring for someone is a whole different thing, after all.

Will Annie let her child close to him? Sure. I think that's part of having a functional and stable relationship with her father, she won't ban her child from interaction. But there will not be any "closeness" or "warmth", and the child may not spend too much time with Mr. Leonhardt anyway.

Now, god, will he walk Annie down the aisle? Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I'm gonna be emotional and angry and say: his leg is probably much worse, so Annie has the luck of getting Jean or Reiner or Connie doing it instead. Much better.

Thank you for asking :3

[strawbubbysugar]

So i know the alien au is with a plus sized y/n this time and honestly i love that it not too common is most aus. But that make me curious. About the other aus. So like soul and such would it change the dynamics at all if y/n was plus sized

And another version of this question. What if they had an eating disorder themselves (my mother is plus sized but it happened due to a surgery and she actually has an eating disorder it's not a eating to much thing but actually a not eating enough. (Not saying you can be big and not having an eating disorder and such I'm more curious about reactions then just straight up judging. I do apologize of it's offended anyone that was not.y intent)) how would they react if they had an eating disorder

It wouldnt change the dynamics at all if those characters were plus sized :) They could look like anything or anyone and the stories would still work the same. I dont like people's appearances to be deciding factors in their lives. How you look is how you look, that should be the end of it. (save for plot points about resembling family members, lmao.) When the romantic interest in these stories talk about how beautiful they are/how attractive they find them, its based on their own personal preference- not an objective beauty.

June I write to be a bit of a prettyboy, and Dahmia is also quite attractive in how I depict her, but both of them aren't attractive in the same way as a model. I want them to feel real, like people you'd meet out in your day to day life, not some unattainable god-hood status of drop your panties hot.

I'm personally not comfortable depicting eating disorders just for the sake of reactions. I dont like equating bigger people just to their size, and I wont be drawing anything or answering any asks that talk about why they're plus sized/eating disorders/etc. They just are! It isnt important to their character or to the story. At the very most, I will show sun's interest in a creature that is healthy and well fed (rather than how he is, starving) but that would be the same plus sized y/n or not

As a plus sized person, it just makes me uncomfortable when my body type is only ever talked about in relation to how the world sees me/how disordered I may be over it. I dont think the difference in how a thin person/fat person is treated should be any different than blonde vs brunette. If I were to give a character an eating disorder, I would want to handle it with a lot more depth & seriousness than id be able to provide with a little doodle of their romantic interest reacting to it. To me, that sort of thing is more important as a personal struggle & something that should be depicted thoughtfully

[meruz]

another ask post

i mean i also read it because a friend whos rly into queer SFF fiction circles recced it but she did kinda lead with "the writer used to write hs fanfic...tasmyn..taz...?" to which i replied

of COURSE I read the locked tomb because i heard taz had written a book. of course. ill consume most any media made by a beloved homestuck bnf. thats also why i played undertale. and read like..snotgirl. and idk... watched the new dub of neon genesis evangelion.

if u made homestuck fanwork 10 years ago and havent even made it since chances are I still remember and I love you for it.

sdlkfhsg its funny you sensed that because that drawing did in fact start kinda more........ well, I'd be lying if I said my hands never wrought a drawing toeing over the pg-13 line LOL...

NOT to say i have a secret stash of porn or anything. in general im more interested in the implication of sexuality or mature themes over any explicit depiction. like everything i draw is so softcore itd almost feel silly to make a nsfw acc for anything.

but im not rly jumping to post anything on main either bc i get the sense i have a lot of kids in my social media following. it varies from site to site and fandom to fandom but the themes in my work often circle around childhood, coming of age etc and in general i like stories about kids so the fandoms i draw for have a lot of kids in them. even stuff like IT (stephen king) which is about kids but isn't necessarily for kids.. there were a lot of kids in that fandom lol.

actually thats why ive been censoring swears in comics lately because the tmnt fandom comes across to me as a little young...IDK I've had MULTIPLE people ask me what "sodomize" means because of the joke in this post and I'm like... I Cannot be the one to explain this to you. you have to look it up on your own klfsdhsdg like i wouldn't be doing this if i were doing a comic for mgs or even homestuck wherein the characters textually swear constantly LOL but sometimes u gotta change tacks depending on the faces u see in the crowd yknow.

i HAVE been thinking abt drawing nsfw of sunspot/richard rider/kobak from x-men red just because that comic seemed to be really asking for it. who knows.. if the need rly arises maybe my separate account policy will change.

its rly more a matter of the fact that i havent read/watched much of any other iterations... im sure id like most lol. I like most things related to my interests regardless of quality. i rly like the marvel ultimate alliance games for instance. sometimes seeing my fave guy is enough he doesnt have to be well written LOL. i dont exactly have a wealth of free time tho thats the real impediment.

i did watch the 2007 movie on new years eve and found it quite charming overall. and i have read about 30-40 issues between the mirage and idw comics. still feels like im barely scratching the surface but i liked em. i rly want to read all the sophie campbell stuff bc i think her work is interesting. jason aaron will be a mixed bag i think lmao. i say as the worlds biggest Wolverine and the X-Men (2011) fan.

hmm this is kinda hard bc i feel like i naturally draw very loose and the hard part for me is tightening it up. maybe some suggestions tho...

1) hand excercises. i think its easy to forget this when many artists sit in front of the computer all day but drawing is a physical activity u do with ur actual...bodys...muscles lol. if u feel urself tightening up it might help to strech (any google search for "artist hand excercises" should yield good results) or do a page of loose practice strokes like..big circles. long lines. scribbles. that kinda thing. whatever feels good for ur hand. this is also just good to do as a general warm up before u sit down for any drawing sesh.

2) draw further away from the canvas. as a general rule...when ur painting traditionally you do the big strokes with your whole arm outstreched and a long handled brush. and when you do the details its smaller wrist movements and a shorter handled brush. so it might help to take a step back or push back from ur chair a little.. or hold ur tablet a little further away. and hold your pen further away from the nib.

3) change mediums / brush types. some brushes and mediums are more suited to loose sketching and some more inclined towards detail work. so changing ur tool could help. also! i personally have this problem where sometimes if im using a brush i feel really familiar with the pressure to make a "good" "finished" "perfect" drawing is greater... if i want to force myself to loosen up ill switch to a tool i dont use as often so it feels like the pressure is off. a lot of times for me this is switching from digital to traditional. but sometimes its switching from a small pen to a big marker. or a smooth pen to a textured one. or a nice brush to a shitty dried up marker.

but also every body is different so i dont think these tips will work for everyone. u should listen to what ur body and mind tell u and how drawing feels to you

bro just sign up and set it up i dont think theres much to it... i dont rly think too much abt my itch.io store because its digital goods so u just upload the file and let it do its thing. no distribution work needed on ur part. youll notice i barely even advertise my itch unless i have smth new on there lol.. its easy. but good luck!!!

idk if im the best person to ask this im more a comic fan than i am a comic professional... a comic hobbist.

well. scott mcclouds understanding comics and making comics are good books on the craft. i think i had to buy them for a class in art school once.

other than that idk just keep at it. comics are really laborious i think for a lot of people the hardest part is sitting down and doing it.

i think a lot of people have a very instinctive understanding of how to read comics and what they look like so whatever you think seems like good way to tell the story you have in mind, its probably right. if u get stuck, study comics that have done something similar. most people in comics are relatively self taught and actually it can be problematic bc you can tell when a lot of comic artists are all copying the same like 5 old white guys LMAO. but on the flip side if you make sure to reference and study broadly your comics will almost assuredly feel unique.

sorry im responding to this anyways. this is just a really nice ask. i like when people reference my older work bc i feel like sometimes theyre subtly implying it wasnt very good LMAOOO. but its true! at least compared to the work i make now ^^ and the fact that im still making art is whats keeping me from being embarassed abt how much of my old art just floats around online lmao im never ashamed to be growing and learning. isnt that a nice thought <3

[reluctanttrabbit]

Now I'm so curious does phone dude ever contact Ness or realise somethings off? Like even after the events of sb does he know what she's been through 😭 like if he's her bro could it relate to the one of note in sb where it goes like because he knows somethings off with Vanessa because their Sibling bond he tries calling?

"SECURITY REPORT - A local police officer came by tonight. He said he was responding to an emergency call from someone inside the Pizzaplex. There is no way that is possible. I was the only one here and I certainly didn't make any outside calls. He wanted to look around, but I sent him away. Just another prank call. - Vanessa" sorry I'm thinking phones and calls." (Then again this kinda could be someone else tbh idk if he'd be in the building and not manage to find her)

Or does he think Ness is trying to cut him off if she goes no contact? Like oh shit she doesn't want anything at all to do with this family anymore! Just wanna know the general dynamic between them I'm invested fr

i actually never figured out a name for him yet so im just gonna call him dude so i can stop saying "vanessas brother" LMAO

when vanessa finally moved out, she promised to keep in touch with dude and tell him how her job was going. most of her updates were boring, but it was just to let him know she was ok.

until one point where vanessa stopped updating.

dude texted and called, but vanessa wouldn't reply. and if dude knew anything about their dad, he knew what their dad would do to vanessa since she ran away all those years ago.

dude drives over to the vr office to prove they're related and ask where she is (dont ask if thats realistic just pretend 😓😓) he gets a hold of the address for her new apartment and drives over, and vanessa greets him with.... a smile? invites him in? like nothing happened?

vanessa tells him all about how the job has been and dude cant help but blow up at her because he was like deathly worried about her and vanessa doesn't get why. everything is fine! im fine! they fight back and forth until dude gives up and storms out of her apartment. this is the last time they've spoken

ALSO this is around the time that the AR emails take place, and the week before vanessa gets transferred over to the pizzaplex (emails/therapy tapes) and glitchtrap makes sure they have no contact with each other because dude is gonna get in their way

and even AFTER post-sb vanessa is wary to call him because 1. they last talked to each other fighting, 2. she doesn't want to endanger her brother in case glitchtrap is still somewhere in her mind and 3. she has to protect gregory + freddy and work on mxes to stop the mimic

soooo yeah ☹️☹️ maybe in another universe they'd still be in contact. maybe she would have told him. idk idk

(or maybe dude saw the pizzaplex fire + earthquake on the news and finally decided to look for vanessa again. who knowwwwws)

[generalconceptofagamedev]

Welcome to my game dev blog!

you might ask "cat why aren't you posting your stuff to your main blog?" and to that I say.

(btw my main blog is @generalconceptofacat )

because I will post a lot of sketches here and I like posting finished art to my main blog most of the time (keyword most of the time I've posted sketches a few times but i like to post finished stuff most of the time) and also I wanna post coding related stuff here.

anywaysssss this is a long ass post so more beneath the cut!

QnA!

What engine do you use?

Renpy and RPGmaker XP

What art program do you use?

Clip Studio Paint

What are your pronouns?

Bitch anything can be a pronoun if you're not a coward

Ok but what can I call you as a name?

Cat, Felis, Beepers, these all work.

What's your opinion on (insert discourse/drama here)?

Uhh I think I'm about to explode you with my exploding sand grenades. watch out. Watch out I'm pulling the pin. Watch out. Watch out i'm throwing it. It's exploding. oh no you're dead. oh no. RIP.

You reblogged from this user and they're a terrible bad person!!!

Sorry but I literally cannot be bothered to check every single fucking blog before I reblog something. I'm not doing that. also I'm not reading your 5 million page long DNI to figure out if I can interact with you sorry. If you're uncomfy with that just block me and move on LMAO

What is your current project?

idk rn Im working on a few things idk which one is gonna be first.

So here's my tagging system-

there WILL be triggers in my games.

I will try to give trigger warnings when possible and will tag them as

tw trigger.

ex - tw eyestrain

I'll be using visibility tags like art,furry art, renpy, indie game, etc so dont pay attention to those

I will be tagging everything the title of the game its from, the type of post it is, and then the visibility tags.

ex.

(game title), concept art , art, renpy, indie game, furry, etc

So

tags (my stuff)

All posts- #kittydevposting

Text posts- #text post

Art- #art

Concept art- #concept art

Character art- #character art

Coding- #coding

Writing- #writing

Music/Music concepts- #ost #ost concepts

Character/Writing- #character concepts #writing concepts

wips -#wips

tags (stuff that isn't mine)

Reblogs- #reblog

Inpiration- #insp

Resources- #resources #save

Asks- #asks #answered #(url)

Fanart (if i ever get any) - #fanart

If you're looking for a specific character or game, search for that specific character.

I will tag them as:

#(game title)

and

#(game title) (character name) and #(character name)

I hope you have a lovely time on my blog.

[rollercoasterwords]

hi i would like to rant to u if thats okay because i saw ur rant u wrote like 6 days ago and it just kinda made me think so i hope u don't mind.

i love writing. i always have and when im writing i always get excited, except then i started posting on the internet. at first i got some attention which actually pushed me to write more and then i wrote this fanfic that blew up and got a lot of attention which dont get me wrong was GREAT like im proud of it, but it also changed my perception of writing

all of a sudden this silly little thing i wrote was now something people were talking about with their friends and reccomending and that was great but it made me feel different about my own work. it changed how i percieved writing, and more often than not i catch myself writing for them, not for me.

recently i started writing this fic that made me giggle and kick my feet while writing it. i wrote it SO fast because i could not get enough of it, and then i started publishing and it didn't get much attention. i've had other fics that didnt get attention before and it was like meh, but after the work i wrote that blew up, it felt like my fics NEEDED to become popular to be good, which is like,,, shit

and whenever i posted a chapter of my new fic or talked about it, i'd get comments on my fic asking about my popular one, if i'll make a second one ect.

it made me lose interest in my story because i'd gotton hooked on others approval and i didn't want to write something they weren't interested in, because then they wouldn't read it and it would all be for nothing.

i forgot the original reason i started writing. for me. and its been so hard to try and just get back into that headspace of writing for me and not others because of the attention i'd gotton from my previous stories.like how i felt now that i had a fair few followers i owed them stories THEY wanted to read.

i'm not sure how to get back into writing for myself, because i don't want to delete my works or stop posting, because i do enjoy it when people say nice things and help my motivation, but at the same time it also makes me feel like i have to write what they want and not what i want, because if i write it and they dont like it ive failed

anyway thats my little rant, i dont know if u even understand what im talking about but it was nice to get off my chest

thank you <3

no i feel u i can def relate 2 a lot of that experience! it can be a weird experience 2 have a fic go viral & it is definitely not always entirely positive. honestly think the only reason i've escaped a lot of the harassment + hate i've seen directed towards other people who have had fics go viral is that my fic that went viral was a rewrite of someone else's story, so most of the discourse remains centered around the original story + writer which honestly. feels like i managed 2 dodge a bullet lmao

but i can def relate 2 the sudden pressure of abruptly finding urself in a situation where tons of people are reading something u were just casually writing 4 fun, and suddenly feeling like u need 2 meet certain demands or live up 2 expectations. honestly feeling this pressure to keep up w those expectations led to some burnout 4 me last fall/winter, which is why i stopped posting for a few months. and like obviously i can't say what would be most helpful 4 u--that's something u kinda have 2 figure out 4 urself--but i do know that for myself + for some other writer friends who i've talked to, taking a break from posting can be really helpful in like...reframing ur mindset. i think getting some distance from the constant expectations + demands + feedback can help sort of clear the air and strips away both that pressure + that attention + sort of makes it easier 2 focus on writing just to write for urself. 4 me it helped me figure out that while i do love sharing my writing + getting nice comments + messages + talking 2 people abt it etc, that's just icing on the cake, and writing still brings me a lot of joy even without any attention. and once i was able to like...center that attitude + ground my writing in personal enjoyment rather than the online attention economy, it made me feel steadier abt coming back + posting again, and also helped get rid of some of the anxiety of meeting people's expectations, bc i realized that at the end of the day i genuinely don't really care if someone dislikes my story so much that they need to stop reading it; in fact, i think it's better for everyone involved if someone who feels like they're not getting what they want from my story goes and looks for what they want somewhere else! it's not a failure on my part to sufficiently like...entertain an audience or provide a product, because that's not what i'm trying to do in the first place, y'know? and i think that shift in mindset helped a lot, and continues to help when i start 2 feel that pressure again from posting my writing online. it's counterintuitive at first bc i think we're all sort of conditioned to think there's no point to making art unless you're making it for an audience, but once u realize that The Audience is not the be all end all of creating art, i think it makes the process of creation a lot more freeing + fun.

anyway hope u are able 2 navigate the weirdness that can come with sharing ur writing online + find a way 2 write that brings u the most joy!!

[bonesandthebees]

omg OMG dont even get me STARTED on honey and tangerines

i've genuinely been meaning to reread it this summer, THAT FIC IS ONE OF MY FAV THINGS IN THE WORLD... THE VIBES-

like okay yes almost all of ur fics are my fav in the world, but honey and tangerines hits DIFF man

i started that fic thinking the main conflict was going to be crimeboys, and then angelduo came in with a sledge hammer holy shit

dude. that convo in chapter eight SMACK CAMMED ME SO HARD

like

i remember reading the summary and being like "ooo!! skateboarding", i didnt even clock how the part with phil could be ominous man like-

oooh boi

[takes a deep breath]

im getting emotional thinking about it rn, i havent read this in so long ohmgyod i miss this fic:(

side note before i get into my full mental breakdown over the ConvoTM, i never wanted to learn how to skateboard till i read this fic lmfaoooo

idek why, i was just... never interested, even my bf was like YOO ITS SO COOL and i was like Eh

and then i read this chapter and i was like "... maybe it Can be cool"

brooo BROOO

okay yeah that convo...

i think it's the hardest i've cried reading any of ur fics, normally i tear up and yknow do my whole Pterodactyl screech, but i dont often full blown cry, but holy shit man. Honey and tangerines? I'm pretty sure I bawled.

uh oh im crying again rereading this scene BROO ITS JUST SO WJEAFOIAWEOIRJAWEROIAWEROIWAERJAWEOIJRWAOIERKJLWERJOIWEJWEARIJ

ow

im in pain again

anYWAYS

god this fic is actually the greatest fucking thing in the world i love it so much bee u have no idea bro i adore it to my core :(((

i dont know how to describe it but ooohh my goodness

i just :(( idk i love indie vibes a lot

like... one of my favourite movies is Perks of Being a Wallflower. Indie movies are really important to me bc it just :( it makes me feel like My life will be okay, if their life works out. and... slice of life vibes are just the best

and honey and tangerines is the perfect fic to ever indie vibe, the playlist, the little fluff moments, the climax, everything about it is perfect. i can't describe how perfect it is. i adore it sosoosososososososoosososoo much

i also can... oddly relate to tommy in this fic, more than i thought. my mom didn't have mental health issues but I did have to take care of myself more than I was supposed to when I was younger, and there were a lot of parallels in this fic even though the situations were completely different, that it just... hit a lot harder for me than most fics normally do. especially like... i have a half sibling that i have a super complicated relationship with and crimeboys in this fic almost reminded me of it.

i just :(( honey and tangerines is so so important to me, and it's also just beautifully written, content aside. i love the prose in it. the way you describe everything feels so natural and real. i felt truly immersed. i lose sense of what's around me a lot quicker than i normally do when i read fics. it just instantly grabs my attention.

god, it's written so fucking well.

another way it's affected my life is after i read the laundromat chapter, it gave me the courage to ask my bf to dance w me for the first time. as i've always loved dancing but i've always been super shy about it. but reading that scene just filled me with such joy, that i had to ask my bf, and now it's one of our fav things to do :))

idk man like. wf is the fic that first made me obsessed with your writing. stars is one of the most well written and impressive things i've ever read and heyyy sandduo centric babyyy. also the WORLD BUILDING IS SO COOL. what the water gave me is the fic out of all of ur fics that makes me the most emotional /pos. a dusty tomb is my personal fav comfort fic, it's so fucking cute i love it so much (and the clinic prequel is same vibes as well). ur vamp fics are addicting as hell to read.

but honey and tangerines is the fic that's affected my life the most <3

(god sorry for the long rant, this was not meant to be this long LMAO SFDKAJ)

honey and tangerines was such an interesting fic for me to write because it connected to my irl life in so many subtle ways. I put those nods into my life in a lot of my fics, but honey and tangerines was the one most directly based out of my own life although it was mostly just the concept of having ex step-siblings that I pulled from. I also thought the main conflict was going to be crimeboys going into it, although I knew I wanted a focus on angelduo as well. but then as the story progressed I understood tangerines!tommy a lot more as a character, and his relationship with phil just expanded into so much more. I'm so happy with how it all turned out, and I'm sorry for all the tears I made you shed lol

(this response got long oops so I'm gonna put it under a cut)

you totally get my love of coming of age/slice of life indie movies. I've always been a big movie watcher, and nothing hits quite like a really well done coming of age film. ironically though, the perks of being a wallflower was one I originally wasn't a movie I was very impressed with the first time I saw it. it wasn't until I read the book and then rewatched the movie years later that I was like oh. I think for me two coming of age indie-type films that really hit for me were Lady Bird (because the relationship between Lady Bird and her mom hit very close to home in certain spots for me), and this one called Cha Cha Real Smooth. Cha Cha especially hit for me bc it's about a 22 year old who just graduated college and is trying to figure out where to go now, and I watched it only a few months after I'd turned 22 and graduated college and was floundering for what to do next. so yeah, that one helped me in the same way you described with the whole "maybe my life will work out like theirs" sense.

I'm so glad I was able to capture those vibes in the aesthetics of it all. that was half my motivation for writing it ngl. I just really wanted to try and capture that summertime haze with the descriptions and the playlist and all of it.

I'm sorry you could relate to aspects like those in the fic, but I'm also really glad it was able to provide a source of comfort for you <3

that's so sweet that you asked your bf to dance with you after reading the laundromat scene!! and the skateboarding too is so cute. I'm gonna be honest I do not know how to skateboard nor have I ever had a desire to learn, I just liked the aesthetics of that scene lmao. I hope you've been having a really good time dancing and skateboarding with your bf since though :)

icyfox aaa you're so kind though seriously thank you for all of that. one of my favorite parts about having this 'audience' (for fanfic lmao but it's an audience nonetheless) is hearing how the stories I create for my own joy impact your real lives. like, it's just amazing to me the reach my words can have, and I'm so happy you were able to get so much out of this story. ty for this it made me smile a lot

[chanstopher]

I don't want this to come off as rude at all,I'm just curious as to why you get so much interaction. your posts always get notes and you seem to answer a lot of asks everyday. I am also a cc in the fandom (I'm on anon because I don't want anyone to judge me for this) and my content flops pretty constantly. I'm just wondering if there is a secret to success I'm not learning or if my content is just garbage. Any advice would be nice!

Hi, I definitely dont think you're being rude, I totally understand being frustrated by numbers on here. i wish i had secrets to share but i really dont. i have a lot of followers so my content is pushed further. using tags properly and becoming friends with other ccs is really good for getting your content seen. ive been lucky enough to have ppl like me for some reason so ppl support my blog when i post things most of the time. i do also have some flops, thats just how tumblr works and some ppl wont agree that your content is good and ignore it.

its harsh to say that and i know that ive had terrible content get a lot of notes because of my blog size. but you just have to keep working at it. try changing up how your content looks (more or less grain, sharpening settings, try unique coloring or try to really work on color correction instead of just making things more vibrant or darker) if u write find other writers, no one supports content like content creators.

as for the asks, i have literally no idea. i am confused as to why people would talk to me constantly abhdjs I just try to be kind and keep my negative opinions to myself unless theyre about ppl stepping over bounds or being mean or rude to skz. i try to just be unapologetically myself tho, posting about chris like a rabid dog or just weeping over how much i love him. it is apparently very relatable lmao

i am not good at making friends, all of the people who i am friends with on here have come to me seeking friendship, but going on anon and talking to ppl or just showing up in tags with fun comments or thoughts or just compliments on the content will make you friends. a lot of ppl have reached out to me just because i was kind to their work.

the only real advice is to not give up. i think blog growth is always slow until you just hit a certain point where for one reason or another you become more known and then it will grow more rapidly, but it can take a while. and it can take you finding what youre really good at, you might have no idea how well you are and gif blends or graphics or even just being someone who updates on activities happening with skz (this site is absolutely lacking a proper skz update blog fsjniss) if you ever want to vent about it i'll listen, and if you ever want to send me your content and ask for critique i can do that too (but it will just be my opinion and im not anything special fhbdjs)

above all else you have to enjoy making things or it is never going to be worth it. no number of notes is going to make u better at any kind of art. only time and effort and enjoyment will.

I'm sorry this is so long and i wish any of it was truly helpful, but tbh i think i just got lucky with tumblr and how much interaction i get :/

[eshithepetty]

don't feel the need to reply to this but THANK YOU so much for your ritsu meta, i always love reading when you post and even if i don't always agree 100% you have such amazing and insightful meta about mp100, especially ritsu. like ritsu as a character resonated with me SO MUCH and i could see myself in him and i actually like that he snapped because of all the pressure and loneliness he was under, because it felt so realistic to me. and i really do think that even if it's lighthearted, the fandom DOES mischaracterize him a lot and that he's not just emo or angsty or violent, and it's really depressing to see people depict ritsu as like... depressed, jealous, making stupid decisions, mean, etc ALL the time. it honestly gets super frustrating... i guess i just want to say that i really appreciate when people do take the time to analyze his character and see his good traits, and that i am really grateful to you for like, continuing to treat every mp100 character with respect

Yesss,,, you're so right anon actually. Every character in mp100 gets flanderized by the fandom from time to time, that will just happen with fandoms, and with mp100 it's an especially easy issue to fall into because... like. As that one post by scribe said, mp100's characters work on contradictions, and people aren't usually well versed in working with that. but with Ritsu, it does seem to paint him in a rather negative light, huh? Those aspects of his character do exist, but it does get frustrating when, as I've said before, they're the only ones people focus on to a surface level. I'm not gonna be the most coherent rn cause I hadn't been able to sleep all night (not related to anything, my sleep schedule's just fucked lmao), but I really feel you anon on that. I see a lot of myself and my sibling in Ritsu (and Mob), and so I guess that's why it sometimes hurts for me too - to see people dismissing him as just 'angry' and 'irrational', to see his struggles boiled down to him just being dramatic. I'm not gonna get into it, and I'm aware this is my own personal baggage to work through, but yeah.

I will say, though, I find the comments about how silly it is for Ritsu to be angsting over people 'complimenting him' especially funny 😭 bro you dont even know how much people lauding you over your sibling while you both are actually in extreme distress and can't actually communicate enough to help each other can fuck you up lmao

Anyways!!! Thank you for that last comment as well <33 I'm not a very funny person, or a very active part of the fandom, or someone who does well in forging connections and being entertaining, but I do try my best to always understand these characters and express how I feel about them. That's my way of having fun with shows ig, I really like diving deep into these things and having discussions with people and losing my mind over little funny guys (my friends on discord will be able to attest to this, based on how many inane rambles they've been subjected to. Hi Kegan and Saj if u happen to read this hdhsjhehe) So thank you for sending this ask as well, and allowing me to talk some more :)

I should be preparing for school now, though, so I'll end it here. Hope you have a good day/night anon, as well as everyone else reading this <3

[cheriecoke]

rylie hiii!!!! hope you're doing well, pretty <3

anyway, this is random but what was your weirdest dream?? only asking cause i had SUCH a weird dream today..like i was dazai's pet hedgehog??? i dont remember it very clearly but i think he fed me like corn or some shit 😭like..i wanted to have a bsd related dream someday but NOT LIKE THIS 😭 ig afternoon naps are always kinda trippy???

HELLO MY ANGEL <3 i'm doing pretty good today! I hope you are too MWAH

HELPPPP IM CACKLING 😭😭😭 why is this canon though he would hide you in kunikida's desk drawers 💀 my weirdest dream... chiyo i have the most obscure and elaborate dreams ever. but one of the most recent ones was i got trapped in a cult that was pretending to be an animal rescue charity (??) & i don't exactly remember what happened besides i went to dinner with the cult leader (not geto unfortunately) and some guy i used to work with was the server & he was like you should run away... but ofc he didn't tell me why ! so the next time i was at one of the "charity" meetings, my fbi agent friend (rylie is american reveal) who was actually nanami (LMAO) came with me and said he needed to investigate. but then the cult found out he was undercover and killed him and all of my friends !!! but luckily i escaped with some other random guy from the cult who looked suspiciously like michael b jordan after we teamed up to kill the cult leader !!! and then ... i met up with nick fury from the avengers to destroy the cult, but turns out... my friend that survived (michael b jordan) wasn't really my friend. he was the cult leader who had shapeshifted into him !!!! and bc my dreams are like movies we got this third person pov of the cult leader on this throne of all my dead friends skeletons and his foot was on the head of michael b jordan bc he was actually dead and the cult leader just took his place DSHHFDSHSDFHH