#dont ask about the background it's just painted over a photo
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Greetings friends. Enemies.
when i said this is a hermitcraft fan account i lied. look at my dnd blorbo please (threat)
#dnd ocs#dnd character#dnd druid#dnd fairy#this is mars he's also a werebear a lil shit but also just a fluffy boi#my art#i have been rotating him for way too long and now you get to see him#dont ask about the background it's just painted over a photo
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Hello Hedge!
I just wanted to say, no matter what you draw or paint, your art always looks so good!! But I also wanted to ask if you had any tips and stuff for someone who is extremely unskilled at painting backgrounds and sceneries? Or like, what would you recommend as a starting point? I've been struggling for literal years and have never found anything that makes painting backgrounds enjoyable, or that makes me feel like my backgrounds are... well, satisfying, if that makes any sense.
I hope you have a wonderful day, and thank you 💕
Heya! c: i was giving this a think and im gonna say if u dont enjoy making something, don't force urself to! someone who is good at doing backgrounds may be only good at that. they might've discovered they hate drawing people or are really bad at it (like bob ross ehehe) so they focused entirely on doing landscapes. so if u just find urself not enjoying backgrounds, it's okay!!
but if u want to give backgrounds another shot, here's an idea I had: i think that backgrounds can be very overwhelming and unenjoyable cuz of the scale and the fact that u think u gotta fill the entire canvas. the way i got over that gradually is by doing very simple block colour thumbnail sketches. base the sketches on photos, game screenshots, whatever u have on ur mind that might look neat. it helped me understand composition and colour palettes much better, which also helped me to then progress into doing more detailed paintings by making it feel less overwhelming. u can also then just blur the thumbnail and stick it in the background of a portrait and it'll look grand!
once i got more comfortable with making those thumbnail sketches, i'd go back over the painting with more detail. but by that i don't mean go back in and draw every darn leaf by hand. what i do is grab a favourite textured brush on the messy side (eg. wedge tail in procreate) and go over things to add shape and texture. u can imply a great amount of detail just from making a mess of texture lmao
once i have that satisfying amount of chaos, i might see shapes i like and then in that case i go back in and refine them with finer brushes. that might even be by just using those sort of 'stamp' brushes that immediately stick in leaf texture or something
thats how i managed to eliminated what i hate about doing backgrounds. if there is a specific thing u hate about doing landscapes, there's probably a work around for it that is lazy and satisfying as hell. maybe breaking the process down like i described above will help u figure out what it is
i hope that helps a little! but again please don't pressure urself into drawing something u might just dislike!
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Absolutely losing it over how you so perfectly capture light filtering through leaves in your background arts. Going feral. Foaming at the mouth even. I can feel the light dancing through a thousand leaves and its so pretty and so comfy.
iwanna paint more plants man..... i wonder if that would be a good road to go down although plants arent, really an interesting subject to people. but what if i MADE them interesting
i need to emphasize that light going through leaves and getting that really specific bright, explosive chartreuse color is like an actual obscenity to me. i dont rlly feel shocked by things anymore but i remember stopping in my tracks staring jaw-slightly-open at a photo of tree leaves because it was just THAT shocking. to me.
images from other blogs as im able to find them (sources: left, middle, and right)
aand on to other uncredited images i foujnd. the last one makes me think of several long-necked birds peering at something
ok i got very carried away because plants fuck me up in so many ways but i dont see them very well-represented as a subject (They Are very complex and REQUIRE a variety of colors) (ill give everyone that) but we coexist with these things and the world tricked me at an early age into thinking dark-greenish-yellow was an ugly color. there are so many people who haaate the color green and for what......
URRRH BACK TO THE ACTUAL ASK . thank you so much for the kind words i crave to be understood about plants and im so glad
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ok slow day on the blog so im about to get all soppy and artsy. Because a) this man drives me insane and i continously try to figure out why slash justify it to myself and b) i am so obsessed right now with that one leg muscle that kinda goes flat when you sit but also is a key part of how to structure the leg when drawing. Blah blah blah hockey butts yeah great but what if... hockey inner thigh....
Ughhhhhhh kill me now.
Anyway im gonna adress a trend i have noticed in the pens fandom mostly displayed through passive aggression towards me or other creators...and that's the use of references. There seems to be this idea that using references is lazy or cheating or means that this person isn't making 'real' art. And im gonna call some bullshit. Every single artist since someone decided to paint their hand and try to recreate a cow on a cave wall with their thumb has used references. Talk to real commercial artists and they use WAY more references than you can imagine. My current job is super stylized and unique. But back when i worked in hyper realism on C*ll of Dooty and superheroes and stuff? Never not once did the illustrators not utilize references. Often us 3D artists were given a photo with a posed actor, which we used to pose the 3D model, which then was illustrated on top of directly by the illustrator. Those artists had to churn out hundreds of illustrations a month. They did not have time to get precious about it.
And lets talk about 'sourcing'. Yes, if you copy a photo directly almost pixel for pixel an artist should probably reveal their source. But so rarely is this the case. If you put any kind of spin on it - your own style, change the colors, add or subtract the background - that is YOUR art and there is no need to link to or include the damn 'source'. It's not a 'source' at that point. That would be like asking the amazing folks who photoshop artistic 'edits' together using photos and brushes to link to the original photos at the bottom of all their posts. This is just silly.
You want to know what commercial artists did before the internet? My old friend here has a studio from the 70s-2000s that has an entire wall full of neatly organized stacked drawers of printed references, a lot of it clipped from magazines and books. Each of them labeled by subject matter. And this artist worked in some of the most famous advertizing studios during that era.
So, coming back around to hockey thighs, because I know there are certain folks in the pe*ns fandom that get annoyed and angry at my daily drawings (which is so sad by the way, get a life). I have to admit this is the first time this has ever happened in a fandom so it threw me for a loop. But I also know there are younger artists out there who follow me so I want to explain my process a little. Most of my daily doodles are studies - its one of the reasons its been easier to do them during my illness than any more serious creative work. When i doodle i am looking at references and trying to recreate that as i see it. The key point being 'as i see it'. I am usually trying to learn things like: in this photo what about the lighting is compelling, and how can i make it more so? Or what is the focus of the drawing and how can i let the rest of it fade? Or whats the main gesture and how do i exaggerate that? And always, always im trying to study anatomy from new angles. For me its not enough to learn what a 'knee' looks like because the shape of the knee and the muscles around it change depending on how it's posed. And it is often those changes that make it so beautiful. Or in this case that beautiful sexy stretch of thigh between geno's knee and groin.
Often times if i imagine a 'pose' in my head, i will then go pull as many references as i can where the body's limbs are roughly arranged how i want it and then draw those over and over until i feel like i have enough of a grasp on that anatomy to recreate it for myself. So please, dont listen to the haters, use those references or dont use them freely. the haters are idiots who are projecting their own fear of inadequacy and learning to be creative onto you. <3
In my next essay i will discuss how baffled and humbled i am by the way my love for geno's face has utterly transformed my artistic eye...
#Wip#I never actually enjoyed *realism* until i started looking at photos of geno#Hes...just...so...perfect...???????.....#Also if your putting this post together with the santa wearing shorts reference post yes youre connecting the dots
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i like ur art. its great and interesting!! i really like your artstyle and i really like the way u draw hsy, yjh, and kdj. you captured them so well in terms of vibes/character. also i was wondering do u have any advice to improve on drawing anatomy/poses/faces?
wahh thank you so much...!! i feel like im still trying to figure them out in a lot of ways but i do really like ironing out my visual interpretations of them so im really happy to hear if people like what im coming up with
also anon you super activated the part of my brain that cant help but yap about art theory... i spent some time writing as many tips as i could think of. unfortunately i dont think i have the time currently to do a fully illustrated guide, but ill still try to include some visual examples:
[incoming wall of text lol]
ANATOMY:
to preface i think that like 100% of the time you should reference a real life photo for anatomy rather than other artwork or drawn references. the best way to learn the body is by… well, actually looking at the body! but also artwork is informed by a person's own artistic ability/stylization choices/sense of idealism, so while looking at art can help give you an idea on how to break down forms, i think you would be best served observing real life references. i labor on this point because i do think that having over relied on drawn reference material and avoiding photographic references on the basis of not being interested on realism hindered me as a largely self-taught artist as a kid, so i want to encourage live or photographic reference since anatomy is one of the foundations from which everything else is built on. that being the case, all of my doodles i'm doing for this are going to be for the sake of example rather than to strictly say how you should or should not be drawing something
-> when you are doing a study of a photo, just try copying it as best as you can. pay close attention to the natural lines and shapes of the body -- the S-curve shape of the leg, the triangular shape of the forearm, the trapezoid shape of hips/thighs when they sit, and so on. note where the body folds or squishes or pulls; how mass will shift to accommodate a certain position. if a form is hard to visualize, focus on the negative space and carve that out, rather than strictly drawing the positive space.
don't expect to get it perfect the first time. in fact, iterate on it multiple times to build understanding. try doing it to a timer of 15, then 10, then 5 minutes. doing this will force you to have to prioritize the most important shapes. you can help reinforce this by using a thicker brush or a brush with no pen pressure (no joke ms paint works great for this) to force you to be loose and not become preoccupied with details.
-> pinterest is a great resource for finding and compiling photo reference material
-> organic shapes are curved, so embracing/emphasizing that (particularly for the extremities) can help make your drawings look more natural or fluid
POSES: -> it all begins & ends with contrapposto… you've probably heard of the line of action, which is related. if you're offsetting the shoulders & hips, it: makes poses more natural, more dynamic, and helps the pose sort of "draw itself" -- the legs will follow the direction of the hips, and you can use the arms to reinforce the angles
-> context is key. don't ask: what pose should i draw? instead ask: what do i want this character to convey? what does happiness, anger, sadness, and so forth look on this particular character? how do they express that? consider these drawings: these are both ostensibly the same pose, but look at how changing just the shape of the spine recontextualizes it.
for more on pose design i recommend watching Tracer & Pose Design 101 - The Animation of Overwatch by New Frame Plus (i promise this is a genuinely super informative video).
to expand on this, in general, all of the components of a piece (background, composition, pose, etc.) are best considered in conjunction rather than separately. it is difficult to choose a pose and then choose a background because they are missing the context that would make a piece cohesive. when you are planning a drawing, try to begin with your general concept/idea/prompt and then do several thumbnails -- small and quick doodles that should take no longer than 5 minutes each -- developing it: you may find that the pose and bg will naturally fall into place.
-> silhouette: the degree to which you need to push this varies by style but generally speaking the pose needs to be readable; i.e. instantly recognizable. try to keep important elements of the gesture outside of the silhouette. for example, if the character is pointing, keep that arm out of the interior of the body. the same pose can be more or less readable or dynamic depending on where the character is pointed in relation to the viewer
-> exaggeration!! goes along with the previous point. push the pose as much as you can (and what makes sense for your style) to communicate your pose as clearly and as intensely as possible.
FACES: -> i highly recommend the app Handy Art Reference Tool by Belief Engine for all things related to drawing hands/heads/feet. its on both android and ios. it isn't free -- it costs around $3 -- but that is seriously such a small price to pay for the amount of utility you get out of it: the hands models are fully poseable (there's also pose presets), you can rotate the head models however you want, and there is 3-point customizable lighting. it is really helpful for getting those super tricky and hyperspecific head angles that you just can't find a real life reference for. that being said given that there's only a few different head model variants, bear in mind how differences in features can affect what exactly a face will look like in those angles.
-> i still recommend doing studies of real people. as with anything else, learning generalized proportions is important, even if you are going to later on bend or break this depending on style
-> as for my own approach... it kind of depends on the style i'm doing at that particular time. for my paintings (what id consider my main style) i approach a character with a few real-world features in mind and then apply them to the best of my ability. it usually will take a few iterations to land on an interpretation i really like as i try out different things. a lot of the face also gets developed during rendering rather than through my initial sketch too, as i adjust for lighting and correct proportions on the fly
(look how much this image changes between sketch and render lol)
if i were to recommend anything, i think it would be to nail down your most distinct features first -- the ones that will make your character's face recognizable, and could apply regardless of art style. in my case with kim dokja, i knew when i first started drawing him that i wanted to give him a longer face and down-turned eyes. when i decided to do the disco elysium inspired set, in which i was breaking out of my comfort zone by letting go of any idealizations focusing on conveying characterization/making them feel "real", i landed on some more specific traits (defined lower lids/perpetually tired eyes/eyebags(?) the crease there idk how to describe it) which i continue to try to evoke even if im drawing something much more cartoony
(pictured are my first kdj -> disco elysium style -> my post de-style kdj)
as a side note, this very same process changed yjh much more dramatically
(^ that first guy is mad someone else)
those handful of key features will be the thing that you can then take into a simpler style and simplify or exaggerate to whatever degree suits you. you can also play with shape theory (square = sturdy/solid, circle = natural/smooth/welcoming, triangle = energetic/dangerous). shape theory doesn't necessarily need to be so rigid -- you can combine shapes as you please to convey whatever vibe you're going for -- so please think of it as a tool that may help rather than a rigid law you must abide by.
-> expressions: exaggerate them. thats kind of it!! make it big!!! you wanna be able to really feel those emotions. the principles of squash & stretch help here: think of how the muscles move when you, say, open the eyes or mouth really big. as one side of the face stretches open, the other side squashes to accommodate it
even without changing the position of the jaw here, moving the nose and scrunching the eyes will sell the expression
you can also play with squash/stretch to break proportions to sell a feeling more
since expressions are just, well, poses for the face, everything else for poses applies here (and facial expressions & pose should also be considered in tandem). while the term contrapposto itself just refers to the offset of the shoulders & hips, the similar principle of asymmetry also carries here as that will help make the expression a bit more dynamic.
and i think... that's it!! all i can think of at least. i hope it helps anon!!!
#umbrvx.ask#sorry the reply took a minute i have been writing this post since i got the ask im so serious#i tried to determine what advice i could give that would be the most immediately actionable#also sorry its a huge wall of text im a little crazy about learning and discussing art theory . oops (the yapper)
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Breathless
Member: Hyunjin x reader
Word count: 21.3K
IDOL CAMEOS: Karina-Aespa, Yeji-Itzy, Lia-Itzy, Joshua-Seventeen, Chanyeol-Exo
Trigger warnings: SMUT, toxic relationships, ANGST, oral sex, breeding kink, unprotected sex (wrap it up guys), fake texts, mentions of alcholism (By side character), mentions of cheating, mentions of medical issues, mentions of anxiety. anything else i could have forgotten.
A/N: I wanted to start writing for other groups for a while, and i watched the Case 143 comeback and just fell down a Stray Kids rabbit hole again so i decide to write this i hope you guys enjoy, let me know if you want a part two. also i do commissions, personally i dont like buy me a coffee but i do have cashapp, paypal and venmo if you ever want to get a commission i do still have a buy me a coffee as well anyway enjoy
“Can't you stay?”
Your voice is shaky as you look at him with hope filled eyes. You could tell even just from looking at his back, as an annoyed sigh is released from his lips, he had rolled his eyes. “Cant. Sorry” He states matter of factly. He wasn’t sorry... you knew he wasn’t; he never was. He always said it anytime you'd ask, never giving a reason beyond ‘cant’ yet you still find yourself asking “w-why not?” your tone is so soft you don’t even register the words had actually come out until he snaps “I mean it's not really your business is it?” quickly turning to face you as he forces his shirt on. “Does it matter?” your teeth capture your bottom lip as you hold the blanket over your bare chest. Your gaze avoiding his glare “I guess not...” the familiar prick behind your eyes has your vision blurring. You hear your bedroom door open “H-have fun I guess....” you call to him only to be met with the sound of the door closing.
Of course, not.... You hadn't expected as much anyway.
In the past 10 months of your relationship with him you have learned plenty of things about Hwang Hyunjin. He was a passionate dance major, spending more time in the dance studio than in his own dorm. He had a love for art, with dozens of classic paintings littering his dorm. Along with his own. He was independent, charming, and undeniably gorgeous. But he was also cold, distant, and lacked social etiquette. He was quick to tell you exactly what was on his mind whether it hurt or not. If he chose not to vocalize his disinterest; his expression was an open book for all to read anyway. He enjoyed the party lifestyle, if his social media was anything to go by, he’d often be spotted in the background of photos with his best friends; Seo Changbin and Han Jisung.
Everyone in your university wanted at least one of them. Most of the female population had a ‘night to remember’ story with either one of them. They were blunt and honest about their lack of commitment, only needing a warm body as a temporary place holder in their beds.
Relationships were off the table. Sure, they’d be down for a good time here or there but in Jisung’s own words “Relationships equal clingy annoying problems” which is why you were so surprised when Hyunjin asked for exclusivity oh so matter of factly last year. You had been sleeping together on and off after your dance instructors paired you up for your first joint project between both of your classes. It had been a late night in the studio running through one of your last rehearsals before evaluations. You weren't sure if it was the close sensual nature of the choreography, thanks to Hyunjin, or the ambiance in the dimly lit studio but as the song came to its conclusion; both of your chests heaving against each other, your eyes meet. Your bottom lip finds its way in between your teeth. His hand caressing your cheek as his thumb traces over your bottom lip “Fuck......Don't. Don’t do that” his voice full of something unfamiliar to you. “Do what?” you ask innocently your hands grip his shirt. His hold on you tightens around your waist, pulling you closer into his slim muscular figure. The tip of his tongue brushes over his plush lips. Your cheeks and ears burn a bright scarlet. Looking back, you weren't entirely sure who initiated it but soon, your lips meet. Shortly after you felt the cool glass mirror against your bare chest as Hyunjin attacked your core. His thrusts ruthless until you reached a mind-bendingng orgasm. Youd only realized your mistake afterward when he quickly fixed his clothes and ran out the door.
You took the loss in stride. Avoiding the topic during the last 2 weeks of rehearsal, acting as if it never happened. You never stayed alone with him longer than necessary, you'd pull away the moment the song came to an end even though sometimes he’d try to hold you in place for a while longer. Youd make sure the studio was properly lit at all times. Only texting him about rehearsals and quickly dismissing his selfies and flirty remarks. You would begin spending your lunch in the university library when Jisung set his sights on your best friend, Karina, and he and his best friends began impeding on your time with your best friends. Only truly having to come face to face with Hyunjin at your evaluation.
As the song came to a close you ripped yourself from Hyunjin’s grasp, thanked the judges for their time, collected your phone and made your way out of the studio and into the locker room. Reaching your locker, you force your dance bag out of its confinement. A sigh of relief is released from your throat. Your eyes focusing on the mirror you kept on the back wall; you steady your breathing. Closing the door, the need to shower now replacing your anxiety. Turning toward the private showers your face is met with a wall of muscle. The familiar cologne fills your nostrils, dread fills your stomach as you silently beg the ground to swallow you whole. “Sorry” you murmur as you attempt to make your way around him. A small ‘tsk’ is heard from above you as he places himself in front of you again. “Do you have a problem or something?” you snap. An amused smirk finds its way to his plush lips. Damn you Hwang, you think to yourself, as he shrugs and shakes his head. “Why are you avoiding me?” He pouts. You hate how your heart races “I'm not” you shrug “Just no reason for us to interact anymore” his eyebrows scrunch together his pout only growing at your words “You don’t want me anymore?” needless to say you ended that interaction pressed against the shower wall his lips attached to your neck as he guides you on his shaft. Only for the cycle to continue over and over until your presence in each other's lives was nonstop. Then one day he had asked you to be his girlfriend with a nonchalant shrug, murmuring back a shy ‘yes’ and 10 months later your cat and mouse game continued.
Apart from the occasional quickie or stolen kiss, you rarely see the man that claims to be your boyfriend. Your offers to accompany him to the studio remain declined, stolen moments with him moved from the library study rooms to either one of your dorms in the late hours of the night. You should have seen his rejection coming; it's all he’s ever done. His friends, the studio, parties all get more of Hyunjin’s time than you. With the summer coming to an end and the dance studio finally opening up again tonight, you knew immediately he’d go; especially with it being all the other dance majors can talk about due to the party being held there.
“UM....HELLOOO!!!” your dormmate Lia, exclaimed as she snapped in front of your eyes pulling you out of your trance. You glare at her petite frame. “Busy in wonderland there, Alice?” she giggles. “HA.HA. You’re so funny I forgot to laugh.” you quip. “Anyway...what's up?” you question adjusting the blanket, Lia places a pout on her lips “I need a favor”
“If it's buying condoms for you again the answer is no” you growl.
“No, smartass. Not this time, but I'm really busy studying for the stupid exam I have tomorrow since my psychology professor is a psychopath and Yeji is sick do you think you can run and grab some medicine for her?” she pleads. You smirk at her “What if I was busy?”
“With what? Hwang left already. You’re going to spend the rest of the night in bed. Like you always do” she snarls before she turns and makes her way out the door.
“Love you. Goodnight.” she calls
______________________________________________________________
You couldn’t help but get lost in the beauty that is Jongno-gu, walking along the river toward Yeji’s off campus dorm. Your eyes drift to the beautiful lights that decorate the road indicating the little restaurants and shops. An envious feeling grows in the pit of your stomach as a young man chases his girlfriend around the gorgeous area; smiles plastered on their faces as he finds his arms encasing her from behind. Lucky....you think to yourself. If only you were more like Lia or Yeji or Karina. You take a single pause in your movements. A memory growing in your mind of you having to spend your last paycheck at your summer job your senior year on bail for Karina due to her ex cheating on her and her taking a bat to his car and him. Okay maybe not Karina......you thought. The whirring of an engine cutting your thoughts off as a single headlight blinds you. You force yourself right and collide with the hard concrete. Brushing your hair out of your face before you dust off your legs. Pulling yourself off the ground, you notice the motorcyclist shoving the bike off his leg. “Oh my god! Are-Are you okay?” Your eyes widen in panic as you rush toward the driver. He unbuckles his helmet and pulls it off.
Your heart races as honey blonde hair begins blowing subtly in the small wisps of wind. His brown eyes sitting in a scowl. You couldn’t help but stare at his heart shaped plush lips, noticing the freckles that litter his face.
Fuck...
He was absolutely mesmerizing. He opened his mouth to say something but was cut off by the roar of multiple engines. His eyes widen as he stares in the direction he came, tossing his helmet into your arms he takes off in the direction you had just come from. Your eyes widen as you stare down at the glossy black and red headgear. “E-Excuse--” you tried to call after him as 4 motorbikes whip past you following after the mystery man. You contemplate just leaving the helmet on the bike and returning to your task. You groan to yourself as you notice the headlight still on and the idling of the engine. You stomp your foot in frustration.
Ughh this is so not worth my time....
You notice the bikes disappearing in the distance. Taking the helmet and placing it on the ground before you grab the handlebars of the motorcycle and after a long struggle you were finally able to lift it. Bringing the kickstand down you place the helmet on the seat. The tightness in your chest from the unexpected work out has you reconsidering if you care if the bike got stolen or not; the owner obviously didn’t. You stare in the direction of Yeji’s place noticing the beautiful welcoming lights. You growl to yourself as you slowly lift the kickstand taking hold of the handlebars once again you drag the vehicle in the direction its owner dashed to. Your eyes roam the area as you wearily drag the bike along in search of its owner. You notice a group of motorcycles in the parking lot to the docks. Hiding the bike behind the dumpster in front of said lot. Helmet in your arms, you quietly make your way toward the sound of shouting. You can hear them getting louder as you stand against a pilar attached to the side of the dock. You notice the honey blonde stranger dashing toward the end of the pier you were currently on. You thanked God no one saw you as they dashed past you. You throw your head back in relief and in an instant a sharp pain rings through the back of your skull.
You groan placing your hand over your mouth and rolling your eyes at your foolishness. Your heart sinks into your ass as red and blue lights begin to come from behind you and the loud wail of a siren rings through the air. Your eyes widen in bewilderment as you quickly try to find an off switch on the unexpectedly placed 112 help box. You can hear the sounds of the boys retreat as you continuously hit the box. The siren finally coming to a halt.
You let out a sigh of relief as you slowly back out from your hiding spot. Your back meeting a warm wall. where one previously was not; you jump at the contact, whipping around you come face to face with the angelic honey blonde stranger. A gasp escapes your throat at the sudden closeness, his lips were drawn in a straight line, arms crossed over his chest. “Are you a stalker or something?” he questions, you were shocked at the amount of bass in his voice. Your eyebrows scrunch together letting out an annoyed scoff as you turn to leave. A ‘tsk’ is released from his lips as his hand grabs your hood and pulls you back into his chest; his arm snakes around your waist. You turn your head to face him, your heart races as your noses brush. Your eyes widen as you pull back, your eyes roaming over his face. They land on his alluring heart shaped lips. You wondered what it would be like to kiss them, though you don’t believe they’d feel as good as Hyunjin’s, they do look quite soft. Butterflies danced in your stomach, as his lips turned up into an amused smirk “What are you looking at?” He quips. Your face is painted a bright scarlet as you force yourself from his arms “Bye!” you call as you dash toward the direction of Yeji’s place. You can hear his deep raspy voice calling toward you as you continue your escape; completely and utterly embarrassed. Your legs refusing to stop until you finally reach Yeji’s door. Knocking as you try to catch your breath.
“Finally,” Yeji declares as she swings open her door. Her cheeks a rosy, pink, lilac fluffy blanket enveloping her petite figure. “Where the hell did you get a helmet?”
______________________________________________________________
You hate Mondays.
And not in the Garfield way or the ‘79 school shooter way. You just hate them with a passion from today on. After yesterday's rounds with Hyunjin and the motorcycle debacle your body is absolutely sore and ready to give up on itself. Regretting even getting out of bed, you stare tiredly at the gates of the university. You scowl at the crowds of people with happy smiles on their faces, coffee in hand. A yawn escapes from your throat before you could stop it, you notice a small crowd standing under the cherry blossom tree. Your hair races as you recognize the familiar blonde tresses, a smile on his lips as he slightly shoves Jisung. You take a small step forward before your movements halt; a petite brunette and what you could assume to be her friends came into to view. Her hand lay on Hyunjin’s bicep before she slowly trails it along his arm. He smiles at her leaning in and whispering something in her ear. A gut-wrenching sting fills your stomach as your throat burns with jealousy when you see him remove a petal from her hair and stroke a stray hair behind her ear. Your breathing grows shaky as tears threaten to fall.
A manicured hand snapping in your face forces you to pull your attention away from the pair. You smile as a coffee is handed to you; a pair of arms are wrapped around your neck as you come face to face with your childhood best friend, Yoo Ji-Min (who’d kill you if you called her anything but Karina. Her new name she had claimed when she declared she wanted to be an idol 5 years ago). “What are we staring at?” she questions as she places her cheek against yours releasing you from her grasp as she notices the pair. “Seriously?” she scoffs. You shake your head at her tone “They're just talking....” you mumble. She crosses her arms over her chest “Thats why I found you alone instead of over there like last year?” she growls. You shrug in response “I don’t want to bother with it right now, I'm so tired”
“What are you doing for your intro solo today?” she asks, your whole-body tenses as your eyes widen in realization “crying?” you respond. “You?! The queen of having everything planned down to the second of a song doesn’t have a plan? Like no choreo at all?” Karina gasps as she drags you along the path to the dance building. “Don't remind me, okay? I went through too much last night! And no are you crazy of course I have some choreo it's just not........up to my standards I guess” you whine as you stomp your foot pressing your chest against her arm with your chin sitting on her shoulder. “So then, you're ready” she smirks wrapping her arm around your shoulders. “You over think these things Y/N you need to relax honestly, you're a great choreographer and you're only in your second semester! Your dance is fine” she reassures you.
You shrug in response “Not this time....” your eyes can't help but drift to the pair once again. The girl leaned against the cherry blossom tree, Hyunjin stood a little too close as she giggled at something he was saying. “No! THIS time I decided ‘oh let's be special lets at stunts’ and then completely forget I even had to do the damn dance and now I'm going to make a complete fool of myself. The instructor already emailed me personally to tell me she was looking forward to my solo specifically, I can’t go in there and fall on my---BIKE!!!!” Your whines were cut off by a loud shout and the familiar roar of an engine grew louder. Hearing it come closer and closer to you, you whip your head around only to see the familiar silhouette of a motorcycle barreling toward you; quickly wrapping both of your hands around Karina’s arms you shove her back with your back pressed against her chest. Your heart races as you notice the black and red bike. Your eyes flashing to the driver, “no. Way...." You whisper to yourself in disbelief as the driver cuts off the engine and pulls off the matte black helmet. The same angelic glowing stupid face...you think to yourself. You notice a group of guys greeting him with warm cheers and hugs. A glare sits on your face as anger courses through your veins like venom. Releasing your hold on Karina you stomp your way over to the honey blonde boy.
He smiles as your eyes meet; your hands quickly meet his chest as you shove him back. A loud ‘oh’ is heard from the small crowd of boys. “That is the second and last time you almost kill me with that thing” you exclaim as you shove him again. His hand wraps around your wrist and pulls you into his chest. Fighting against his hold you notice the smug smirk on his lips. Your knee jerks into his thigh. He jumps at the close call. “If you don’t want me to hit you there let me, go cause that was the warning shot.” you growl. “Are you calm?” he questions. “I won't hit you again if that’s what you're asking” at your words his grip is released on your waist.
As soon as you were free you punched his arm
“You said!”
“I lied! Do you have a thing for almost running me over or can you just not see for shit?” He places his finger in his chin as if he were thinking “I think it’s a you thing” You glare at him “I should have let your stupid bike get stolen” you grumble as you turn to return to Karina. Your movements are brought to a halt as you notice all eyes on you. Your eyes drift over the crowd as you feel a hand on your wrist. You turn your head to the owner “Wait.” he smiles. Your heart races as your eyes meet “w-what?”
“You still have my helmet, gorgeous” he whispers in your ear. Your eyes widen in realization as you pull away from him. “Fuck! I do!” You exclaim “I'm so sorry I'll bring it to you tomorrow” your eyes fall on Karina who looked on in amusement a mischievous glint in her eye. Looking past her, you notice Hyunjin’s attention fully on you; a scowl on his face his arm wrapped in Jisung’s grip. “She your girlfriend Lixie?” One of his friends teased as you stomp past them. You glare at him, Bang Chan, the school's number 1 in academics a senior. Deciding it's better to just let it go you shake your head and stomp away.
Karina rushes to your side, her hands quickly wrapping themselves around your arm as she drags you toward the dance building.
“Explain. Now.” she demands
______________________________________________________________
You can't help the smile that remains planted on your lips as you enter the dance studio. Dropping your bags in the corner and out of the way you drag Karina to the center of the room and dropping into your position for stretching. The studio always made you find a sense of relief and comfort. You loved the way you’d lose yourself in the choreography. You were quite flexible; taking advantage of the gymnastics and taekwondo skills you’ve acquired over the years now making you able to include high level stunts in your routines. While you wouldn’t say you were the best dancer in your major, you could argue you were in the top 15. Changing from your legs open to spreading into a straddle you grasp Karinas hands as she slowly lays back.
“Damn Y/N, if I knew you could do that, I definitely would have hit that before Hwang” Jisung whispered in your ear, a scoff is released from your throat as your head whips around to see Jisung only a couple of inches from your face. Your eyes widen as you pull your head farther away from his face. “What is wrong with you?” You question in disgust as a black boot comes in contact with Jisung’s ribcage kicking him over. Your eyes trail up the person's figure, only to be met with your boyfriend's bored expression focused on you his hands sitting in his pockets. You quickly look away as your cheeks heat up, butterflies fluttering all over your stomach. “It was a fucking joke....” Jisung mumbled, as he glides across the floor next to Karina “Kiss it better?” he pouts to her. You feel a warmth surrounding you, a pair of arms wrapping around your waist. You notice Jisung staring awestruck at Karina while she did her split stretching one up and leaning back. “Do that on me please” He begs her, her cheeks burn a bright scarlet. You feel Hyunjin’s fingers losing themselves in your hair as he places his face in your neck. You tangle your fingers in his hair, a shy smile growing on your face; your ears and cheeks burning a bright scarlet at the new action.
“Oh my god! Why are you here?” Karina snaps both of your eye's flash to her and Jisung who now had his head on her shoulder “Aren't you a music major?” He lifts his head from her and places his hand on his chest “You’re keeping tabs on me?!” A sly smirk grows on his face “You should just let me give you what you want baby”
“I'd rather fuck a double-edged sword” She growls.
“Can I watch?”
“Why are you such a fan? Huh Simp Boy?”
“You act like you don’t want me” Jisung counters, his eyebrow raised. You shake your head as you roll your eyes. “Ladies” you interrupt “You’re both pretty” you groan before you reluctantly pull yourself from Hyunjin’s grasp and stand up. You can feel his eyes on you as you make your way toward the water fountain. “Where are you going?” Karina calls. “Away from whatever the fuck is going on with you two” you retort.
Taking a deep breath, you feel the uncomfortable pressure that filled you once Hyunjin’s arms encased you. That’s odd... you thought Hes never done anything like that before.
You remember the scowl embedded on his face, Jisung’s hand wrapped firmly around his wrist. You know you'd have to explain the interaction......possibly, judging by the way he, himself, was flirting with another girl this morning he more than likely wouldn’t even care. You laugh at the irony; you don’t understand why you felt so guilty when he didn’t, yet you did. “Wow helmets leave some water for the fish” A familiar deep velvety voice rings from behind you. You hate how annoyingly sexy you find it----Helmet?!?! A glare forms on your eyes as you turn to face him. “Are you stalking me or something?” A bright smile is brought to his face, your heart flutters at the action, a warmth grows in your stomach.
“Why, Helmet you seem to think highly of yourself” He quips, his eyebrow raised “Why? you into that sort of thing?” he winks. Your mouth falls agape at his question. How could someone that looks so angelic be such a.........demon. “Stop calling me that! My name is Y/N”
“Well do I have my helmet?”
“Well, no but---But nothing until I have my very expensive helmet back, you'll be whatever I call you” He cut you off “You'll have it tomorrow until then-------OKAY PEOPLE! I don’t have all day so I’ll make this quick. Places! I'm explaining this one time and one time only. You will all be doing your intro solos if you aren't prepared that’s not my problem; everyone got the email. Everyone will be required to perform a routine that best represents your dance style; you will then be paired up with another person that’s style matches your own. They will be your partner for the rest of the semester. Any Questions?” The instructor declared as she barreled through the double doors, dropping her bag and placing herself at the head of the room. Everyone's eyes roamed around the room as the stragglers began to join the semi-circle that had formed due to the instructor's abrupt entrance. You notice a familiar pixie like brunette in your place beside Hyunjin.
Great......she's here too.... you thought to yourself.
“Okay! Yang Ye-na you're up” the instructor calls as the girl stands from her spot and makes her way to the center of the room. You grow envious at the winks her and Hyunjin exchange. You notice the darkness in his eyes as he stares her down. Embarrassment fills you as you beg the ground to swallow you whole. Tears burn your eyes at the realization, He doesn’t care......You were so fucking stupid to think you were different; that he wanted you and only you. Of course, he’d want her, she was absolutely flawless. Her beautiful wavy hair pulled up in a half up half down style; her bangs framed her face perfectly. Her body was curvy in all the right places while you were just average. Hyunjin was practically a god, why would he actually waste his time on you when he could be with women on his level. You’re snapped out of your thoughts by the sounds of applause. Quickly joining in with your peers, you clap unenthusiastically.
The rest of the performances flew by, you received high praises for your choreography to ‘Unholy’ by Sam Smith. Yet, you quickly placed yourself where you previously sat and tucked your face behind your hair. Continuing your train of (over) thought. Going through the motions as everyone performed but Karina. You couldn’t help yourself when your best friend performed. Your applause louder than the rest of the class as her song came to its conclusion. A proud smile on your face. “Okay! That was the final dancer, good job everyone.” the instructor calls as she tapes a paper to the mirror. “Here are your partners” she declares as she walks toward the back of the room. Everyone quickly rushed over to the list.
Choi Yeonjun-Han Eunji
Han Jisung-Yoo Ji-Min
Hwang Hyunjin-Yang Ye-na
Jung Wooyoung- Hwang Yeji
Kang Chanhee-Kwon Eunbin
Lee Juyeon-Kim Min-Jeong
Lee Minho-Lee Chae-yeon
Lee Yongbok-Park Y/N
Son Dongju-Lee Seoyeon
Your heart sank in your chest as Karina grasped your arm examining the list. A scowl grows on her flawless feature. Her mouth hanging open as she internally rages. “NO!” she finally exclaims. You hear a chuckle from behind you, turning around your met with Jisung standing with an arrogant smirk “It's like were meant to be or something” He laughs. Karina fakes a gag as she shoves her way out of the crowd. Jisung reaches out to her “But Baby!” you couldn’t help but laugh at his antics. Shoving your own way out, you notice Hyunjin and Ye-na huddled in the corner by the speaker. A smile planted on his lips as he sat beside her. Your eyebrows scrunch together as they shift closer. You knew his reputation but at least last year he was fucking subtle. Why'd he even ask you out? You wonder to yourself. It's not like he actually acted like he was in a relationship. It was always late-night booty calls when no one could dare catch either of you leaving the others dorm. Your texts typically go unanswered and if he does take the time to respond it's always one or two words. You notice his hand now placed on her knee, as he stared at her. Wow you thought to yourself.
Your view of the pair is blocked by the one person you wished you'd never have to deal with again. “WOW!” you roll your eyes at his enthusiasm. You notice Hyunjin and Ye-na's attention leaving each other and turning it to the loud boom of the boys' voice in front of you. You finally plant your eyes on his face, his eyes are squinted adorably as his heart shaped lips formed an angelic smile. “Looks like were partners, Helmet” He states happily “It's like fate. Maybe you're like my soulmate or something?” you groan in response “or god just hates me....” you stomp your foot, grabbing your water bottle from the ground and shoving past him toward Karina.
“C’mon Helmet, don’t break my heart already” He whined as he followed you wrapping his arm around your shoulder and jostling your hair. “Yah! Do you want to die?!” you threaten as you shove him off you and fix your hair. You hold back a laugh as, Yongbok apparently, trips over his feet and comes colliding with the person walking past. Your hand smacks over your mouth as you snicker while he bows his head at the person mumbling a quick apology before springing up and reaching for you. You hold your arm out your finger pointed at him “No, whatever it is youre planning. Unplan it” you warn as you take a step back. He feigns innocence shaking his head and holding his hands up in surrender.
“Cute” he states matter of factly
“What?”
“Nothing just the fact that you thing you're scary is cute”
“Okay. No.” you hear from behind Yongbok before you feel a strong grip on your arm as you are whisked toward the door. Your eyes land on your captor, the familiar mop of blonde hair. Your eyes widen as you look at Karina pleading for her help. She sat comfortably in her position giving you a knowing smirk.
You stumbled on your feet as Hyunjin continued to drag you out of the studio. You struggle to stay up right as to you tried to keep up with his pace. Your nerves build as he pulls you into an empty studio locking the door before he shoved you against the wall. A loud ‘THUD’ rings through the room. Your eyes drift over his flawless features, an irritated glare planted on his eyes. “What the fuck do you think you're doing?” he growls wrapping his hand around your throat sending a shock to your core. Your eyebrows scrunch together as a confused pout forms on your lips “W-what?” He presses his body against yours “Dont act fucking stupid” he snaps his grip getting tigher on your throat making your panties grow wet. “Hyun, I really don’t know what youre tal---Why was he all over you?” he cuts you off. You’re completely awestruck at his question. Your mouth hangs open in disbelief, the words not coming to you
His patience grew thinner as each second passed. You hate to admit it to yourself but he has you absolutely soaked. “I-its not like that” you finally mutter “I just met him”
“When?”
“When what?”
“when did you meet him?” he asks “you two seem.....comfortable” you almost laugh at the irony, he had some nerve that’s for sure. “I mean its not really your business is it?” you quip throwing his words from last night back at him “Does it matter?” you see a fire grow in his eyes “so what? Youre fucking him now?” He spits. An offended scoff is released from your throat “Sure, I mean its not like youre the only person I've fucked for the past few months.” You argue.
“Does he know that?”
“Does Ye-na?” you counter.
A smug smirk grows on his lips, as his eyes drift to your lips. “Does he know how hard I fuck you?” Hyunjin asks as he turns you around pressing your chest against the cool wall. You whine at his rough action. “I just met him!” you declare “Yet he has a little name for you” His nip at your ear, his fingers tangling themselves in your hair gripping it roughly and forcing your head back. You groan internally at the mention of the new nickname. You hate how easily Hyunjin turns you into a whimpering pleasing mess for him. His arousal evident as he presses his member against you. His lips brush over your ear, his free hand trailing over your jaw before gripping your chin and forcing you to face him. Your bottom lip finds its way in-between your teeth. Your eyes connecting once more, his grasp on your hair tightens. Suppressing a moan, you squeeze your thighs together pressing your ass firmly against his hard member.
Your breaths fill the air as your body trembles in arousal and hints of fear. You’ve never seen Hyunjin this mad or angry in general. His eyes burned holes into you, your eyes flashing behind him. Your body jumps when you feel his soft plush lips on your throat; fingers wrapping in his hair pulling him closer to you. It was no secret to anybody, including Hyunjin, that you were weak for him. Even if you typically would not stand for half of the things, he put you through you still find yourself making excuses for it time and time again. Yet, in moments like this, where you can see that glint in his eye you can trick yourself into thinking you were more than a temporary fascination. You hate how badly you want him despite his previous actions in the day. You’ve never been the bratty type, but the look on Hyunjin’s face unlocks a new part of you. You’ve never thought to actually test Hyunjin’s limits and see how far you could take things like he’s done oh so many times before. Still, you can't find yourself stopping the words before they come out.
“Hes cute isn't he?” A mischievous smirk plays on your lips. “And he’s my dance partner. You never know what could happen when you have to be so......close” you whisper in his ear seductively. You could practically feel yourself dripping in anticipation when you feel Hyunjin’s body tense against yours; Pulling back you can't help the warmth that grows in your chest when you notice the panicked expression painting Hyunjin’s face. His jaw clenches as his strong grip returns to your hair pulling you forward so your faces were only centimeters apart. “You wanna repeat that? I don’t think I heard you correctly” He challenges, you knew this was your one and only chance to take back what you said but you felt a little rebellious considering he was all but sucking face with Ye-na; so instead you chuckle “Don’t worry babe, you’ll always be my favorite” using another one of his infamous lines. You can see why he always antagonizes you when you berate him for never knowing when to draw the line; because the panicked look on his face and possessive grip he holds on to you has you ready to risk it all.
“I better be your only” He growls as he shoves your faces closer together finally closing the space between your lips. You moan at the contact; his hand releases your chin wrapping itself around your waist pulling you deeper into his form. His teeth nibbling at your bottom lip “only me, baby” he whines against your lips “Hyun, you know I only want you” you reassure between kisses. You whine as he pulls himself away and releases his grip on your hair. A look of confusion falls on your face as you turn to look at him. A squeak is released from your throat as his arms encase your waist. His lips attack your neck leaving a wet trail along his path to your sweet spot. You whimper against him as your hands find their way under his shirt, roaming along his muscular torso. You feel a shock run down your spine and into your core as he sucked roughly on the sensitive skin leaving a large purplish red mark, as his fingers dance along the waistband of your leggings. “All mine...” he groans in your ear, the roughness in his voice making you almost cum in your panties. You nod in excitement at his words as his hand plunges into your waistband. Not wasting anytime, he quickly enters your panties his fingers teasing your slit.
You jump at the feeling, a whimper forcing its way out. “Can he make your pretty pussy this wet?” He questions as he rubs circles into the bud. You shake your head in response; He brings his fingers to a halt. You practically cry “D-daddy, please...” you beg grasping at the waistband of his joggers. “Use your words, baby” He teases “Can your little dance partner make your pussy as wet as daddy does?” You bite your lip as he begins his motions again “N-No” you moan. Hyunjin brings his lips centimeters from yours; your lips brushing ever so slightly as he continued his toying with your sensitive clit.
“No what?”
“He doesn’t even get me wet at all daddy”
Hyunjin gives you a faux pout “Aww baby, that’s cause even this tight little pussy knows who owns it” you nod in response, your eyes roll to the back of your head as he plunges two digits into your hole. His lips connect with yours as he roughly begins pumping his fingers into your core hitting the familiar bundle of nerves deliciously. His tongue brushes against your bottom lip before groaning and forcing his tongue into your mouth. You moan against his lips as his tongue dominates your mouth. Your hand palming him over his joggers, “Yeah you're doing so good, you only want to be good for me, huh baby?” His voice is rough, lips swollen as he presses his forehead against yours; his hips buck into your hand. “Y-yes daddy” you whimper “no one but you” His lips press against yours hungrily, his fingers thrusting mercilessly; you nibble on his bottom lip as your hands roam over his body. Your mouth hangs open as a familiar knot builds in your stomach. “I-I'm gonna---” your words are cut off as Hyunjin’s pace speeds up bringing you over the edge. “Fuck cum for me” He groans as his lips attack your throat. “Only daddy could make you feel this good baby, fuck... you got my cock so fucking hard” You can only respond with a moan, your fingers run through his hair pulling him deeper into you. Your legs are shaking as you come down from your high. He pulls his hand out of your pants lifting his fingers to your mouth. You connect your eyes as you bring his fingers into your mouth, his mouth hangs open at the action; pupils blown out.
“You look so pretty when you act like a little slut for me, baby” He coos
Your cheeks heat up at the praises, unable to hide your smile you bury your face in his neck. You hear a chuckle rumble through his chest, his arms tighten around your waist pressing you against him. Your cheeks burn a bright scarlet under his gaze, you pull back from him. His eyes are hooded, lust clouding over them. His tongue traces over his bottom lip, before connecting them with yours once more. A gasp is released from your throat as your back is pressed against the wall, his hand running down your thigh lifting your leg at the knee pressing you even deeper against him. Your hips buck at the contact of his clothed member “Are you gonna be a good girl and let daddy fuck you?” he groans against your lips. You nod enthusiastically, “pl-please daddy, I'll be so good for you” your hands run over his chest and along his abdomen as you pressed small kisses against his neck earning a moan from Hyunjin. The sound has you enthusiastically sucking and nipping at the sensitive skin. Your heart swelled with pride as you observed the mark you had left on his neck, your eyes trailing over him only to be greeted with a fucked-out expression on his face. Letting his forehead fall against yours, your noses brushing ever so slightly “Fuck baby....” He whispers against your lips “as much I'd love to fuck your mouth right now I need to be inside you” His hand quickly forces your leggings down around your ankles taking your panties with them before freeing his own member from its confines.
Your mouth waters at the sight, his hand wrapped around his shaft as his painfully red tip leaked precum. Before you knew it your chest was once again pressed against the cool wall. Hyunjin’s large hand cups your ass before giving it a loud, painful smack.
“Fuck...” you groan. Throwing your head back in pleasure as Hyunjin’s cock glided up and down on your folds teasing your clit.
“Please...” you whine
“Please what baby?”
“Please fuck me Daddy”
You feel Hyunjin’s hips thrust forward at your words, before pulling away slightly. “Fuck” He growls your head whipping around to see him searching his bag and wallet a frustrated scowl on his face. “What is it?” you question removing your pants as he throws his bag to the ground “I don’t have a condom” Oh. A disappointed pout forms on your lips, you bite your lip before nervously suggesting “I mean.... I am on birth control” your eyes roam over the room before landing on him. His expression turning from frustrated, to confused before his mouth hangs open in realization. “Are you sure?” He can't even begin to try to hide his enthusiasm. “I-I mean unless you don’t want to” your voice is small, your eyes not meeting his “s-sorry I shouldn’t have suggested it” you apologize. “Come here” he calls as he sits against the sofa in the corner. You hesitantly make your way over standing in front of him shyly. His hand takes a hold of yours pulling you into his lap, so you straddle his hips. His hand caresses your cheek, “Do you want me to fuck you raw baby?” You try to hide your face in his neck as his hands trail over your thighs. He brushes his nose with yours “No, look at me” Your eyes connect as you nod biting your bottom lip grinding your bare pussy against his shaft. Weak whimpers leave your throat as he connects your lips.
“Fuck I can't get enough of you baby” He moans pressing your hips tighter against him increasing the friction on your clit. His tip continuously teases at your hole. Your hand sliding between your bodies holding his member in place before gliding him inside you slowly. Your eyes fall on Hyunjin, his mouth hung open as his head fell back against the sofa. “F-fuck...” his hands hold you in place “Don't. Don’t move yet” he struggled to get out. His heart raced as he stared at you behind hooded eyes, your cheeks a bright red. His tongue ran over his bottom lip as his cock twitched inside you. He fights the need to cum embarrassingly fast. He had just gotten inside you and he felt like he would explode already. He struggles not to thrust mercilessly into you as you press your chest against his. His lips following yours until they meet his hands guiding you up and down on his member. Hyunjin could have sworn he’d seen stars. For the many times he’s had sex, he’s never even thought to go raw but during the course of your relationship he couldn’t help but imagine the scenario every single time he was inside you. He wondered what it would be like to paint your walls with his cum. You’d always taken him so well; he gets lost in the sight of his cock disappearing inside your tight little pussy. “Look at you baby” He moans “I bet your dance partner would love to be me right now” your pussy clenches at his words.
He hated how jealous he had gotten, but how fucking dare that guy? You were his. He fought the urge to fuck up into you harshly to remind you of who you belonged to; him. “Fuck daddy you stretch my pussy out so well” you moan. He holds back a smile at the almost pornographic noises coming out of your mouth. He could never get over this feeling, he loved every moment he had a chance to spend ruining the innocence your beautiful face portrays. He loved the look on your face as you came around him. And him only. He craved your body every time he was away from you wanting to bury himself deep inside your womb and remain there. He lost his will to hold back as your lips attacked his neck once again; an action he used to detest but now he found himself praying for you to leave your mark on him. Claim him for the rest of the world to see. “You’re doing so well” He praises as his hips find a steady rhythm into your g spot. “You make daddy feel so good, baby” a feral growl is released from his chest as you come undone with a moan of his name. His resolve completely breaks as he feels the familiar knot forming in his stomach. “It's like you were fucking made for me” he laments “All mine baby fuck I'm gonna cum deep inside your little pussy” his arms hold you against him tightly his eyes rolling to the back of his head “P-Please daddy cum deep inside my pussy” you whine in his ear “own my pussy with your cum” His vision blurs as his hips stutter against yours “FUCK! I'm gonna fucking breed you baby. The whole fucking world will know who you belong to then” You connect your lips as the contents of his orgasm fill you.
He held you in place, enjoying the feeling of your lips on his. His hands guide your arms around his neck before returning to your hips. He was in deep, he knew it. Though he would NEVER let you know, he absolutely loved the way you held him as you kissed him. He hated the butterflies that filled his stomach when he’d pull away and see the reddening of your cheeks. Seeing your dance partner blatantly flirting with you all morning and you unknowingly flirting back drove him mad. His friends noticing his jealousy when they saw that guy way to close to you this morning, Hyunjin quickly became ready to risk it all the moment he saw the guy whispering something in your ear; only stopped by Jisung’s grip on his wrist holding him in place. The straw that broke the camel's back was the blush on your cheeks when he called you cute. It was bad enough for you to be partnered with the guy, but he was the only person you were allowed to look like that for. And for it to happen in front of him, he felt his blood boil and his heart clench. The possibility of you walking away from him and never looking at him like that again had his body acting before his mind could catch up to what was happening. He needed to know you still belonged to him. That the introduction of this new guy and his past mistakes wouldn’t have you looking elsewhere. He hated that he knew he didn’t deserve you, but he was selfish and couldn’t let you go. Not when this was starting to mean absolutely everything, and he would die before he lost it. “Tell me you love me” He pleads against your lips.
“I love you” ______________________________________________________________
“Can’t I just drop the class?” Karina suggests.
You give her a knowing look “I don’t know. Are you a dance major?” you question. She places her head in her hands “Out of anyone in the class, I get paired with the one guy I didn’t want to be paired with. Who did I piss off in my past life?” Yeji shrugs as she scrolls through her phone “I think you guys make a cute couple” you snicker at her words as you check your phone.
‘NO NEW MESSAGES’
You sigh in disappointment as Karina picks up a piece of bread off her tray and tosses at Yeji hitting her forehead. “Not even close to funny” Karina growls. You cross your legs a slight hiss releases from your throat at the soreness between your legs. Your chin rests on your palm “Why do you act like you hate him so much?” you question “you still in love with him or something?” Karina’s eyes widen as she quickly looks around quickly “Yah! Do you wanna die?” a faux offended scoff is released from your throat as you launch yourself from your seat dashing around the table and straddling Karina’s lap. “You’d never do that baby” you state as you wrap your arms around her neck “You love me too much” you pucker your lips leaning in pretending to kiss her; her hands coming between your bodies as she groans “Stooooooppp” A pout forming on her lips. You smile at her as and pepper kisses all over her face, smacking your hand over her mouth and kissing the back of your hand. “You’re so annoying” She whines. “I’d be less annoying if you’d just accept my love” you argue.
“Fuck” you hear from behind you “Kiss her again” Whipping your head around seeing Jisung and Changbin standing there eyes wide in amusement. Quickly shuffling off of Karina’s lap you make your way back to your seat. “Did you put a tracker on me or something?” Karina growled at the innocently deceiving boy. “Nope! Just your lucky day I guess babe” He smirks. You and Yeji share knowing glances and snicker to yourselves. “Aren't you guys one short?” Changbin asks disappointedly. “Lia had some sociology lecture or something” You reply placing your hand on his forearm as you notice his sadness. He nods dejectedly.
You felt for Changbin, despite his two friend's actions, he was the tamest of the three. Sure, he slept around as well but he was more for friends with benefits rather than one-night stands. You had noticed his lingering stares at Lia earlier last year; yet you never once mentioned it as to not embarrass the shy boy. But Changbin knew you knew his feelings for your friend. It remained an unspoken secret between the both of you. “Aren't you guys missing someone too?” Yeji questioned as she looked at you, your eyes flashing to her in contempt. She shrugs in response. The last thing you wanted was to acknowledge Hyunjin’s absence; mainly because you felt exceptionally awkward due to his request earlier due to him leaving abruptly leaving a few minutes after but also because you were afraid of the answer. “I guess he had to.... talk about something with his dance partner. He said he’d meet us here though” Changbin states as he sits a little further down the bench from you. Your heart sinks into your stomach at his words. You hate how your heartbreaks at the slight suggestion of Hyunjin and Ye-na being alone. You wanted to trust him; he’s never actually cheated on you....as far as you knew. But how could you know anything? You rarely spent any real time with him and if you did it always turned into sex within minutes.
You’re pulled out of your thoughts by a warm hand resting on your shoulder. Almost jumping out of your seat, your head turns to scold the culprit. Instead, you let out an annoyed sigh groaning before you rest your head on your arms on the table at the sight of your dance partner and his annoyingly stupidly perfect smile. “Do you need something, Yongbok?” He places his leg over the bench straddling it, his gaze locked on you. “I prefer Felix” He corrects. “I prefer being left alone yet here we are” you shrug your eyes focusing on your shoes. “Anyway” He shrugs off “Kinda hard to do considering were dance partners” you shrug in response. “But after you...ehm...left. We got a project basic hip-hop, so I'll be needing your number” Your head lifts at that not expecting him to be so close, your noses brush and you pull your head back.
“Why?” You question; your eyebrows scrunch together. “So, we can figure out a good schedule for rehersals. I hope you arent one those dancers” He states matter of factly. “One of what dancers?” you egg on. A smug smirk sits on his face “Oh, you know one of those that gives the bare minimum and relys on others to get by” you roll your eyes at his accusation, your hand quickly jostles his hair. “Yongbokie~” You coo “Just tell me you want my number” you tease. “Stop calling me that” He whines an adorable pout form on his lips. “Yongbokie~, Yongbokie~, Yongbokie~” your teasing pauses as you feel eyes on you. Looking around the table you notice Jisung and Changbin sharing worried looks; only to act obviously suspicious as they look around.
“Im not kidding!” He groans. You ruffle his hair once more before grabbing his phone from his hand; holding the screen to his face to unlock it you text yourself from his phone. He nods slightly as he lifts himself from the seat you grabbed his sleeve pulling him back down. “Dont text me first I'd rather not deal with you anymore than I have to” He places his hand over his chest “You’re a heartbreaker, Helmet” shaking your head in response as he gets up and walks away. You feel all eyes burning holes into your face, your cheeks heat up as a confused expression grows on your face “What?” they shake their heads, Karina’s eyebrow raises as her arms cross over her chest “nothing....” you nod at her.
“So whens the wedding?”
______________________________________________________________
You were greatful the rest of your classes went by without a hitch. Unfortunately for you, you were alone in the rest of them. Your stomach filled with dread everytime you’d pass Hyunjin in the hall with Ye-na stuck to his side. Smiles plastered on their lips; standing way to close for comfort. As you allowed your legs to trudge the way toward your moms convience store you find your mind wandering farther than it should have. You felt stupid honestly; why did you allow your relationship to be what it was? Why had you entered it in the first place? Apart from sex, as far as you knew, you were no different from Ye-na, Minji, Yerim, Garam and all of the other girls Hyunjin decided to pass the time with. His flirty comments and lingering touches happened to all of you. You grew tired of things not being 100% clear, because despite the odd way he had acted today; you still couldn’t tell if he genuinely cared for you or if you were something to pass the time with when he was bored. You hoped he could notice you were pulling away, since typically, you’d be trying to cling yourself to Hyunjin as you walked to work. Instead, the idea of being around him made you feel exceptionally nauseous. So, you abandoned your plan to walk to work with your 3 best friends and began your journey solo.
The day felt overwhelming in every sense of the word. You felt your throat constrict against itself as tears welled up in your eyes. Your breath shaky as a ding rings through the air. Pulling your phone out of your hoodie pocket, staring at the notification on the screen.
You shake your head not wanting to deal with this at this very moment
Your eyebrows scrunch together as you stare at his message. You can't help but feel confused; he’s never blatantly told you he wanted to see you and honestly it makes you nervous. You decide to just ignore his messages not wanting to get even more overwhelmed by him. You sigh as you push the door open to your mother's store. “Welcome to- Oh Y/N!” your mom exclaims her eyebrows scrunched together as her eyes flash to the clock. “Early for once I see” You give her a sad smile with a soft nod of your head as you walk into the back room. Dropping your bag on the empty chair behind the desk and grabbing one of the red and blue mesh vests and cash drawer. Making your way to the register, gently placing your hand on your mother's arm. “Eomma, why are you here? Wasn’t Chanyeol supposed to open?” a scowl grows on her face at the mention of your brother's name. “Aish, that boy. He didn’t even come home last night” opening the register and taking the cash drawer out. “I had to open late because I didn’t know he didn’t come home until I came down to get some things and we were closed still” she growls as she places your cash drawer in and assigning it to you.
“You should have called me. Or Karina. One of us would have come in you know” you scold “You know youre not supposed to manage the store alone” you look at her worriedly. “Im the mother here” she soothes you, her hand running over your hair. “Besides I’m not having you miss your classes, you can worry about my health when youre actually a doctor” You froze at her words, guilt crashing into your intestines like a tsunami. It wasn’t like you wanted to lie to your mother about your choice to pursue dance like your older brother but, the last time you brought up the idea of majoring in dance she—it didn’t go well. Apparently, there are no stable jobs in dance. It's not a good career path in her eyes due to your brother's failure and subsequent alcoholism. Even so, you still majored in dance and told your mother you were pursuing medicine as she had asked. How were you eventually going to break the news to her? You werent sure but you knew this was your life and you were going to live it how you deemed fit. You do love your mother, of course you loved your mother, which is why you continuously picked up the slack for your older brother; picking up shifts if you learned she would be working alone, walking her home and staying with her until morning so she didn’t have to walk home late by herself.
Ever since your older brother had returned from his failed endeavor to be an idol, you found yourself taking on a lot of the burdens for both of them. Your brother struggled with the fact that he could not make it as an idol as your mother's health deteriorates. You could only sit by and do your best to help them during their own struggles so much to the point they don’t notice yours. You were greatful to Karina for being the one other person to understand the massive change in your family as she had been there since long before your father died when you were 14. She had witnessed your struggle to cope with the loss of your father, then your subsequent depression pulling you out before you got too deep. You had been together through boyfriends and fights, rumors and friendships. She engrained herself in your family practically as a member in her own right. So much so, that at 16 when your mother had gotten her diagnosis of Susac’s Syndrome, she began working at the store with you. Karina was the only reason you could cope with everything. Which is why you were so greatful when your mother informed you that she had called her to work with you since your mother now will be going home instead of closing with you.
“The truck is coming by the way” your mother informs “Make sure you guys get most of it put away please” she pleads as she walks into the back room. You roll your eyes at her quick escape.
“Of course,”
______________________________________________________________
“Have a nice day” you call as the stranger smiles waving on their way out. Walking to one of the coolers you grab a soda before going back behind the register, pulling your phone out you scroll through instagram. The sound of the door’s beep has you shoving your phone in your pocket. Your eyes flash to the door only to see Karina making her way over to you. A smile on her lips, your eyes look at the time. “Sure. Be all smiley and shit it's not like youre 30 minutes late or anything” you scold her as Yeji enters through the door fully engaged in a conversation with Changbin. Jisung and Hyunjin followed them shortly after. Your eyes widen as you grab Karina’s forearm pulling her infront of the storage room.
“What the hell are they doing here?” You ask behind gritted teeth. An innocent pout sits on Karina’s face as she shrugs “They’re with Yeji” You roll your eyes at her “fucking Yeji...” you mumble. “I don’t get the problem” she states confused, grabbing a vest. “I didn’t really want to deal with all of this today...” you groan as you follow her back to the front. You notice Yeji scanning through the aisles engaged in conversation with Changbin, Jisung and Hyunjin just talking in the corner eyes flashing to Yeji and Changbin every once and a while. “Did you already assign yourself a drawer?” Karina asks. You nod in response “Honestly, you don’t have to stay the full time.” You suggest as Yeji and Changbin place their items on the counter. “I only really need help putting the truck away then you should be good to leave if you want” You mention as you begin scanning the items, noticing Jisung and Hyunjin making their way over to you. “And what? Leave you to close by yourself?” Karina quips crossing her arms over her chest. “Yeah, youre absolutely crazy to think you should be here by yourself so late” Yeji interjects. “Why would you be closing alone anyway?” A worried look grows on her features as she reaches over the counter grasping your forearm “what happened to your mom?”
“What do you think could have happened?”You quip. “Fucking Chanyeol...” you growl more to yourself than to anyone else. Your brother's name was all it took for Yeji’s worries to subside. You notice Changbin standing with a confused expression “Chanyeol...???” Yeji releases a sigh as you input a discount for her. “Her brother....” she answers, leaving the words to hang in the air. “Dont put that burden on me!” you groan “We just so happen to have crawled out of the same hole”
“And grew up together, pursued the same major, lived in the same house, have the same parents. Ecetera ecetera” Karina teases. You glare at her before turning back to Yeji. “Anyway, can you just run by my mom's place and make sure shes okay. I don’t know if Chanyeol has finally come back or not, and I really don’t need her to be alone right now” You beg. She gives you a small smile in return “Of course, I havent seen mom in a while. It'd be nice to check on her, maybe your brother will be there” she winks. You and Karina gag to yourselves and shudder. “Ew” Karina groans in disgust. “We need to find you someone suitable for you cause holy crap gross its Chanyeol” Karina argues as you tell Yeji the price. Your eyes flash to the street noticing a truck driving down the alley to the store. “Can you bitch and take money please; the truck is here” you sneer. You groan before walking infront of the counter and making your way toward the storage room and heading out the back door.
You smile at your delivery driver and cousin, Hong Jisoo, “Y/N?!” He smiles wrapping his arms around you. You let out a squeak as you’re lifted into his lean frame. “Oppa! Let me down!” you whine as you playfully shove at him. His lips upturning into a bright smile. “I havent seen you in like forever. Feels like youre avoiding me” He jokes as your feet touch the ground once more. You roll your eyes at him “Cause youre my most annoying cousin” you playfully shove him snatching the clipboard out of his hands. “Yah! I come out of my way to bring you things and this is how I get treated” He jests. “Oh, boo hoo how dare you have to do your job” you prod. “Im making an after-hours delivery, Y/N” he retorts. You scoff at his nerve “A late one at that” signing for the delivery before handing it back to him.“BUT, since you love me youre going to help me unload the truck?” You bring your hands together in a pleasing motion, your eyes big.
“Why can't you guys do it?”
“Karina is the only other person working”
“Your mom still lets her work the register after what happened last time?” He questions in shock. “You can fuck all the way off, Joshua” you hear Karina snap from behind you. A smug smirk grows on your cousins' lips. “You know? I havent spent any time with my favorite cousin in a while I think I'll stick around for a bit” He suggests, his eyes falling on Karina. Her eyes narrow as she crosses her arms over her chest. “Play nice you two...” You warn giving them a threatening look before opening the door to the truck. Lifting yourself inside you grab a large crate of sodas, placing it down on the ground near the door you take a step down. Placing your hands on each side of the crate, you lift it and carry it inside only to see Yeji and the boys still standing there. “Damn, took you long enough” Yeji quips. Placing the crate infront of the freezer, you let out a whine “Joshua and Karina are going to drive me crazy” You pout. Placing your head on her shoulder “Never mind what I said stay and make sure they don’t make me commit an actual murder” you plead. She shakes her head at you.
“Would it be wrong for me to leave them alone?” You question.
“Yes.”
“But Karina—would burn down the store if she was left with Joshua” she cut you off. You roll your eyes in response. You nod in agreement. “Sorry hun, I can run to your moms and stuff, but I have to meet with Wooyoung at the studio at 5.” She apologizes petting your hair softly. A pout forms on your lips as you turn at the boys pleadingly, bringing your hands together “you guys wanna become my favorite people in the entire world” Changbin looks away from you at your request scratching his neck before pretending to look at a newspaper. Jisung sits with his hands in his pockets looking at the ceiling rocking back and forth on his heels. Your eyes finally turn to your boyfriend. A look of shock fills his expression “I should already be one of your favorite people!” he exclaims in disbelief. “You’re slowly losing that title....” you grumble as you walk back toward the crate you had put down. You feel a hand wrap around your waist pulling you back into Hyunjin’s frame. “What was that? I don’t think I heard you, babe” He whispers in your ear, his voice borderline seductive.
“Go be gross somewhere else!” Karina exclaims, as she comes into the store a large box in her hands. You roll your eyes at her as you go to pull yourself from Hyunjin’s arms only to have his arms tighten around your waist. “Hyun...” you trail, his lips cutting your words off as he connects them with yours. Your eyes widen at his sudden PDA, you couldn’t help but melt into him as his tongue runs over your bottom lip. Your cheeks heat up as he pulls away, before releasing his hold on you and turning to Karina “Gross enough for you? I can make it worse if youd like” he states with a wink before turning back toward you, his hand caresses your cheek before brushing a stray hair out of your face. “I have practice as well tonight babe......” he states apologetically. You nod in response “It's fine” You smile at his use of the pet name, He gives you a worried look “Honestly I usually do it by myself, I have Karina and—OW!!” Your words are cut off by a loud bang and a scream from Joshua in the back. You and Karina dash out the door toward the backroom, a trail of footsteps follow behind you. Karina reaching outside first you notice her immediately almost fall in a fit of laughter. “Whats goin—oh crap what the hell happened?!” you bellow.
Youre greeted with Joshua sat on the ground, a milk crate all over the backroom and himself. Gallons of milk litered the ground, milk all over the ground, boxes and Joshua. “i may have made a little bit of a mess” Joshua states guiltily. “This is unreal!” Jisung laughed hysterically. Your fingers sat on the bridge of your nose. “So, I don’t have Joshua, Jisung I will literally pay you” you beg, you see him placing his chin between his finger and his thumb, thinking “How do you know I don’t have rehersal?” You stare daggers at him “Because your partner will be here dumbass! putting this truck away......forget it” You roll your eyes, turning back to Joshua “Get up, clean this, and just....” you clench your fists “put milk on a delivery for tomorrow.” You feel large hands on your shoulders, Hyunjin’s colonge fills your nostrils. His hands run down your arms, “Come here” he gestures to the front. You take a deep breath as you follow him through the door and outside. “I'll come back” he states, your eyebrows scrunch in confusion. You shake your head at his offer “It's fine, you really don’t have to I’ll be fine as long as Joshua just stays behind the register.” His eyebrows scrunch together “He’s staying?” you nod casually “Yeah, he’s helping me put the truck away I havent seen him in a while”
“I-I can cancel” Hyunjin blurts, you shake your head in response. “Hyun, it’s fine I literally can just put the truck away with Karina and make Joshua work the register I should have known better than to have his scrawny ass help me unload it” His hands wrap around your arms as he locks eyes with yours “I want to help babe I can cancel” his voice is soft. “Dont. Hyunnie its fine really you don’t have to.” You brush your hair out of your face. “I usually do it alone anyway im just never here to unload it my brother usually does it” The sound of Hyunjin’s ringtone sounds through the air, he pulls it out of his pocket. Your heartbreaks at the contact's name, Ye-na's name sat with the red faced emoji. He quickly locks the screen, shoving his phone back in his pocket. You stare at the ground “I should get back” you state hastily pulling yourself away from him opening the door. You feel a hand around your wrist
“Babe--Have a good practice” you cut him off forcing your wrist from your hand and make your way back inside.
______________________________________________________________
You were greatful for Karina, even though you now owed Jisung $100, you had finally finished getting the truck put away. Jisung having left as soon as it was unloaded as per his agreement with Karina. Your mother had sent you a text about Yeji visiting her, which you had appreciated tremendously. You had sent Karina and Joshua home at close, which was over an hour ago. Opting to do the closing procedures and cleaning projects. Purposely ignoring your phone for the majority of your shift, not wanting to confront what you had seen on Hyunjin’s phone. You knew you had a plethora of unread messages; you didn’t understand where his now oddly attentive behavior came from and as much as you enjoyed it; you didn’t understand why now? Why when you’ve finally begun to open your eyes to how messed up your relationship did, he want to put effort? You didn’t know. You’ve finally opened your eyes to everything and youre not sure where you stand at this point. Why was her contact saved like that in his phone? Well, you know why it was saved like that, but has he used it?
You groan to yourself as you struggle to empty the mop bucket, the water splashin all over your pants as you dump it down the floor drain. “Fucking great” You grumble to yourself. Your foot slides slightly as you make your way out of the back room with a sigh. Giving the store one more passover before grabbing your things and making your way out the front door. The soft wisps of wind kiss your cheeks as you lock the door behind you. You jump as two hands circle around your waist a squeak makes its way out of your throat. Quickly whipping yourself around and pulling yourself from the person's arms. Your nervousness calms as you see Hyunjin standing there a confused expression grows on your face.
“W-what are you doing here?”
“Is your phone not working?” He questioned. A dejected look plastered on his features; his eyebrows scrunched together as his plush lips drew into a pout. Hyunjin felt confused, why hadnt you answered his messages? You always answer him; you’ve never gone longer than 30 minutes without responding. were you actually mad about Ye-na calling him? Did that Joshua guy keep you occupied to the point you forgot about him? Who was that Joshua guy? Hyunjin couldn’t help the tightness in his chest, he had to explain he couldn’t just let things linger he knew that. He tried to explain that he just forgot he had her number let alone had her saved like THAT. But you had left so quickly, as you pulled away from him Hyunjin felt like his heart was going with you. He needed you to know there was nothing with Ye-na. It’s the whole reason he came here, but as he stared at you his mind was drawing a blank. He didn’t know how to approach the topic, let alone how to explain but he knew he needed to. He’s hoping you’ll just forget about it. He’s hoping him showing up and trying to fix this fucking mess that hes turned your relationship into would fix this.
He’s worried you're going to wake up one day and realize you didn’t deserve this. That you were so much better than to deal with his bullshit and leave him. His heart clenched at the thought, he couldn’t let that happen. Fuck he wouldn’t be able to handle that, he loves you. He only began considering the notion recently but today reinforced the insecurities Jisung had drunkenly planted in his head a couple weeks ago at some party. He had been talking to some music production major who he hadnt bothered to learn the name of before Jisung drunkenly stumbled against his shoulder casually whispering Karina and Yeji were also in attendance and had seen him. It was the first time since you guys had gotten together that he felt an overwhelming sense of panic. He had only been in a conversation, honestly pretty casual but the girl was making her interest pretty known and had been a little closer to Hyunjin than he would have liked but he was used to those types of things. Ever since he had hit puberty women had flocked to him and made suggestive gestures. He enjoyed the attention and the lack of effort it took to get them into bed without having to commit to something, it felt amazing. He was happy with casual sex with no feelings on his part. Of course, there were the select few that wanted more than he wanted to give them, and he’d successfully curb the whole drama aspect before it started.
Being with you was different, for some reason you were the only girl that didn’t get her hopes up the first time. You had avoided him, ignored his flirty remarks, and never gave him the time of day for a while afterward. Hyunjin had to convince Jisung and Changbin to ‘casually’ stumble upon your group of friends at break so he could see you. Only completely lucking out when Jisung had taken an interest in your best friend Karina and he could use Jisungs interest as a way to see you, but after the first couple of times you had disappeared, and he had to start all over again in his pursuit to get close to you. He’d never wanted someones attention so bad, sure he had still flirted here or there but after being with you he wanted to only be with you time and time again. So, when he had found his opportunity to get you alone, he immediately took it. He needed to be with you in some way, he couldn’t get over how perfectly your body had fit into his, how your nonchalant attitude about everything and your acting like it never even happened only made him want to scream in the middle of the quad that it did. That you had given yourself to him and in turn took a part of him with you. That you were different, and he wanted no one but you so why werent you giving him the time of day? Why didn’t you want him? Everyone wanted him, why not you? Why not the one person he wants? So, when you finally had given in to his advances, he knew he had to do whatever he could to keep you around. It started off (in his mind) as casual sex to him, a quick way to get off and have a good time but then almost immediately after he found himself getting annoyed with both Jisung’s and your former dance partner, Lee Minho’s, flirty comments to you. He quickly realized for the first time he wanted more. He was over the moon when you agreed to be his girlfriend, but for some reason he found himself keeping things at a distance. Like if held on too tight things would break, he didn’t realize he hadnt held on tight enough until that night at the party. When, Jisung started slurring about how your friends were definitely going to tell you that theyd seen him with some girl and that him and her looked like they’d probably hook up tonight; Jisung practically cheered that Hyunjin would probably be single again and they could have all the fun they wanted. Hyunjin felt bile rise to his throat as tears burned his eyes at the idea. You wouldn’t leave him.............right? Jisung looked worriedly at him, “Wait, are you okay?” Hyunjin took a harsh gulp of his drink his eyes drifting back to the cup. “She-she wouldn’t break up with me...” he mumbles sadly. Hyunjin had ended the night on Jisungs couch with tears streaming down his face at the idea of you leaving him and he couldn’t understand why.
He couldn’t understand the tightness in his chest and the need to call and beg you not to break up with him. He’s never felt the need to explain himself to anyone but for some reason he can't help but feel like he had to this time. He needed you to know nothing happened that your friends misunderstood. That you were the only person he cared about that he loved you. He wanted to tell you so badly that he realized it that night, deciding only to say it if you were to mention the party but you didn’t. You never broke up with him and he never had to reveal himself to you like that.
Having Ye-na call him and to have you pull away like you did, brought him back to that night. He didn’t even want to leave when you had gone inside, he wanted to call Ye-na and cancel. You needed his help and he wanted to help you so why werent you taking it? Why did he never even know about this place? He’d walk past it so often with Jisung and Changbin on his way to and from his dorm. How had he not known that not only do you work here but it's your mother's store? Of course, he knew little tidbits about your mother's condition and your brother's situation. But why did he not know about this? He didn’t even know you had a job, honestly, he’d never even thought about it in the grand scheme of things. How long has your mother had this store? Had you always worked after you left him when you guys walked together? Did you always close this late and have to walk by yourself? The idea made anxiety raise in his chest. You wouldn’t have walked alone......right? Youd have at least called him, he tells himself. “Were you going to walk home by yourself?” he questioned worriedly. You nod a confused look grows on your features “why wouldn’t I?”
“it's late, you could get hurt what do you mean why wouldn’t you?” His voice is full of worry. “Hyun, I do it all the time nothings ever happened im literally 10 minutes from my dorm” You state matter of factly, starting your journey home. “Why wouldn’t you call me? Why would you think it's okay for you to do something so dangerous?” He found himself growing more and more angry as the words came out. “Would you have even answered? It's not like you have before” you scoff as you begin speed walking as you roll your eyes at him. He has some fucking nerve.... you think to yourself. Hyunjin stood frozen in place at your words. A conflicted expression sitting on his face as his heart clenched. He didn’t realize how tired you actually were, not until now at least. Had you called him to walk you home before? Had he not been there for you when you needed him? “Babe....” he called dejectedly, noticing your retreating figure. “Wait! Talk to me” he exclaimed as he rushed to catch up with you. His hand encasing your wrist turning you to look at him. “Im sorry I didn’t mean---I don’t want----fuck im sorry okay” he apologized behind teary eyes and a shaky breath. “I-I—please just call me next time okay” you look at him worriedly, your heart broke at the sight. “Hyun are you okay?” your hand grasps his bicep. Your eyebrows scrunch together.
Fuck......he was in way deeper than he thought.
______________________________________________________________
Lee Felix is the absolute worst.
You completely regret agreeing to let him make the rehearsal schedule. He was an annoying thorn in your side everywhere else, but a complete drill sergeant in the studio. Early morning rehearsals, during break, after classes before you go to work, after work. The days you don’t even have classes you have rehearsals, due to the overly nitpicky boy. You thought you were over-prepared, until you met Felix. You did appreciate the fact you both would not be happy until the whole dance was perfect in both of your eyes. BUT the guy seemed to forget you had a social life and other priorities even though he himself has now not had a choice and worked a shift at your mothers' store with you. You hated that the longer you guys continued your crazy rehearsal schedule the less and less time you had to see Hyunjin and your friends. You had finally convinced Felix to allow at least Karina and Jisung to watch the rehearsals and give critques. He was oddly warmly welcoming to the two, yet only asked for Karina’s opinion on the dance.
“Honestly, when it gets to the bridge Felix I can see you a little off with the timing can I see you run it again like just you this time?” She states professionally completely emerged in her dancer mindset. You gave a sigh of relief before laying completely on the ground, chest heaving as you reveled in the break you had finally gotten. You noticed Jisungs eyes on you “can I help you with something, Hanji?” he sat quietly his arms crossed over his chest “Do you like this guy or something?” He asks accusingly. You sit yourself up rapidly “What the hell did you just say to me Han Jisung?” your tone is no longer friendly. A scowl sitting on your face. His expression follows yours “Do you. Like. This. Guy. Or. Something?” He repeats behind gritted teeth “Did you forget I have a boyfriend?” You growl your arms crossing over your chest.
“No. It sure seems like you did though”
“You’re fucking joking, right?!”
“So why isnt Hyunjin allowed to be here? Why is it only you two all day every day? Are you cheating on Hyunjin?” He snaps before standing up and clenches his fists. Your resolve breaks at his questions, you jump to your feet your hand quickly connecting with his cheek “ASK, FELIX! IVE BEEN ASKING FOR THE PAST TWO WEEKS FOR HYUNJIN AND ALL OF YOU TO FUCKING BE HERE! AND IM NOT YOU OR HYUNJIN OR CHANGBIN THAT CAN JUST FUCK RANDOM PEOPLE AND BE OKAY WITH IT! AND YOU WANT TO SIT HERE AND DEFEND YOUR FRIEND THAT DOESNT EVEN GIVE A SINGLE FUCK ABOUT ME ENOUGH TO LITERALLY DO ANYTHING BUT FUCK ME AND LEAVE! GET OUT JISUNG! NOW!” Karina and Felix step inbetween you and the boy, Karina’s arms wrapping around your waist holding you in place so you couldn’t get another hit on Jisung. “YOU OBVIOUSLY DONT KNOW YOUR FRIEND WELL ENOUGH JISUNG! IF HE HAD A PROBLEM THEN WHY IS HE FUCKING YE-NA?! WHY ISNT HE THE ONE HERE SAYING ANYTHING? BECAUSE HE AND YOU DONT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT MY RELATIONSHIP! FELIX KNOWS ABOUT HYUNJIN! HE KNOWS I WANTED MY BOYFRIEND HERE AND TO BE WITH ME FOR MONTHS! HYUNJIN IS THE REASON WHY HYUNJIN ISNT HERE CAUSE EVEN IF I ASKED HIM TO COME, HE WOULD HAVE SAID NO LIKE HE ALWAYS FUCKING HAS! SO WHY BOTHER ASKING ANYMORE?! YOURE LOOKING FOR A REASON FOR HYUNJIN TO BE SINGLE! YOU KNOW WHAT, YOU GOT IT! YOU AND YOUR FRIEND CAN LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE” you growl ripping yourself from Karina’s arms grabbing your bag and storm out the dance studio.
You notice Hyunjin and Ye-na, in conversation as they casually walk in the direction you came. Hyunjin’s eyes meet yours, a concerned look growing on his face. As you got closer to the pair, he extended his arm to try to stop you “Baby you okay whats wron--” his words are cut off by you quickly shoving his hands away and continuing on your path facing him. “Ask your best friend. And just leave me alone” you scoff as you turn away from him. “Wait, what?” he called after you “BABE!” you kept walking, ignoring his calls. Shoving your way out of the Dance building, you keep your legs moving, your eyes plastered to the ground as you walk toward the exit.
“Helmet!” You hear call from behind you, you shake your head and keep going. “Y/N! Come on you know I don’t run that fast” Felix whines. You halt your movements, tears welling in your eyes as Felix encases you in his arms. “I’m sorry......” you cry into his shirt. His hand pets your hair “what happened? Me and Karina are so confused” you shake your head not wanting to get into it “It’s nothing” He scoffs in amusement “Nothing. If it was nothing, then why did you hit Jisung like that? And why did Hyunjin come into the studio absolutely fuming and lose his shit on Jisung? what happened?” You took a deep breath, taking a seat on the stone wall behind you, before explaining the parts you understood. Why Hyunjin went into the studio and yelled at Jisung wasn’t your business nor did you have a real explanation for it. But you were greatful for Felix, though your friendship began as more of a rivalry thing you both had learned to appreciate the others insights and each other as a dancer. And after you had finally returned his helmet (after 4 days of him asking about it) you began to notice how nice and funny he actually was. You now found the nickname Helmet almost tolerable and gotten to know him over the past month. “well, Jisung is pretty rude to think you were my type, Helmet” Felix jokes nudging your shoe with his, You playfully smack his arm “Youre an ass.....but I just got so pissed because like Jisung KNOWS everything about my feelings for Hyunjin And for him to act like he has a right to ask me questions like that—tch.” you explain “and with YOU?!” you fake a gag before guilt sets in “but I didn’t have to hit him”
“You acted in the moment, and you’ll apologize later” He smiled “Can we go back and run through it one more time though? Karina telling me I was off is really getting to me?” He begs
______________________________________________________________
You felt absolutely drained. One more run through turned into 2 more hours of rehearsals. Your body ached as you wiped the sweat from your brow. “One more time," he said. I'll be on beat if we do it one more time” you sneer toward Felix, who stood in the center of the room hands on his knees as he gasped for air. “Shut. Up.” He groans between breaths. “yeah, sure Lix you think you got it cause im not sure if I'll be able to do another run through” you groan “At least im not doing no damn flips that’s for sure” you state hands on your hips. He shakes his head as he makes his way over to his bag grabbing his water bottle out. You finally checked your phone, only to see a flurry of messages from Karina and Hyunjin. Sighing to yourself you click on Hyunjin’s notifications.
Opting to ignore Hyunjin’s messages, you decide to see why Karina had blown up your phone.
You roll your eyes at her last question, of course that’s what she’d be worried about.
You respond before putting your phone back into your bag and saying your goodbyes to Felix. You were happy your dorm was a short 15-minute walk from the campus, spending majority of the day in the studio was not ideal. You couldn’t wait to take a shower and lay in bed forgetting about this whole day. You had no clue why Jisung had acted the way he did, but you still felt terrible about hitting him. You werent sure as to why he immediately assumed you were intimately involved with Felix, while he was an attractive guy, he 100% was not your type and you were definitely not his.
You felt utterly stupid, for even begging for him to even be accepted by Felix in the dance studio, you can see why Felix was so reluctant he wasn’t a dance major, so he’d focus on things that werent important. You had argued that he’d probably sit quietly on his phone, you wished you would have just accepted Felix’s offer to let Hyunjin sit in, due to his also being another top dancer in our class. You were so tired of thinking about it and just opted to not let anyone but Karina into the studio from now on. You were happy that the walk went by in no time, but you were halted as you saw Hyunjin sitting on the ground next to your door. His eyebrows scrunched together eyes not leaving his phone. You sigh as you slowly make your way over, Hyunjin noticing you as you stand in front of your door unlocking it. “So what? youre not talking to me anymore or something?” He scoffs, you can hear hurt in his voice. “I don’t have time to deal with this right now Hyunjin” you stoicly explain. Hyunjin couldn’t help the crack in heart at the use of his name. What did he do? Why were you treating him like this? Jisung couldn’t say much behind his panicked stammering so Hyunjin couldn’t understand what happened. All he could get was Jisung was sorry, and you wanted nothing to do with him anymore. When Hyunjin heard that he couldn’t hold himself back quickly grabbing a hold of Jisungs collar, “WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?!” He had lost himself; he knows that, but you had never not talked to him. You’ve never pushed him away let alone told him to leave you alone. He didn’t know what happened with Jisung and You, but he knew he needed to figure out why his whole relationship had gotten put on the line.
“Just tell me what happened!” he begs his hand grasps your arm, his free hand caressing your cheek “Babe, talk to me” you feel tears well in your eyes. Hyunjin’s arms encased around your figure his hand caressing the back of your head as you struggled to hold back tears. “Can I bring you inside?” He asks softly, you nod against him tightening your grip on his waist. He let out a sigh of relief, he stood there for a moment enjoying the feeling of you in his arms. You fit so perfectly in his arms, just knowing youre accepting him again has his heart racing so wildly he knows you can hear it. And for once he doesn’t care. He just wants you to talk to him again, look at him so brightly like you always did. Just the simple act of you using his full name made him almost burst into tears. He didn’t know why you were angry with him, but he knew he wouldn’t let it last long if that was the result. Hyunjin never wanted to feel that sense of panic again. He reluctantly let you go as he entered the code to your door. You slowly trudge your way in until you finally enter your room, dropping your bag, you lay yourself down on your bed. Hyunjin slowly follows behind you before placing himself over you. His hand strokes your hair “Whats going on baby?” his voice was soft as your eyes connected. You noticed the concern sitting deep within them. You shake your head “Nothing its nothing” you sigh. He gives you a frustrated pout “Babe. It's not nothing” he eggs on “Please tell me what happened please” your arms wrap around his neck as you press your lips against his pulling him closer to you.
He responds quickly taking control pressing you deeper against the bed, you moan against his lips as his hand runs up your side. Your tongue traces over his bottom lip, he allows you entry. Your tongues battle before he gains dominance. Your fingers playing with his hair, pulling yourself closer so he can have more access to your mouth. He moans at your taste, “Fuck baby we need to stop” he pulls away slightly placing his forehead against yours. Both of your breaths are heavy “why?” you whine before placing soft kisses against his throat. “Because I need to—fuck—know what happened” he stated behind gritted teeth. You knew his resolve was breaking, you just needed a little push. With faux disappointment you sigh “Fine” before signalling for him to let you up. You stand outside the door to your private shower pulling your shirt off. “What are you doing?” He asks behind a suspicious glint in his eye as he lays himself on your bed, his hand behind his head as he kept his eyes on you. You shrug as you pull your leggings off “Felix made me spend literally all day in the studio I need to shower youre more than welcome to my bed apparently” you state sarcastically a sly smirk on your face as you enter the bathroom leaving the door cracked slightly.
Hyunjin could hear the shower running, his eyes stayed stuck to the door. He knew what you were doing, he knew it, but he couldn’t stop himself. How could he when you were literally offering yourself up on a silver platter? He already had to force himself to stop when you kissed him, he took a moment to revel in your taste. Fuck, he was addicted to your lips. His cock twitched at the sight of you stripping for your shower. His hands were shaking as he continued to stare at the partially open door. He could just come in at any time if he wanted, yet he couldn’t tell if it was intentional. You’ve never been a tease, not with him at least. You always gave into him and his advances, but you’ve also never left the bathroom door open if you were showering. He wanted to come in so bad and feel your naked body shiver under his touch. He could feel his determination growing thinner and thinner the longer he imagined your petite figure, completely naked and from how badly you made it seem like you wanted him he knows more than just your body is wet. He knows he has to maintain his composure so he can get real answers from you, so you know this wasn’t just sex to him. That you could tell him what happened and he’ll do whatever he could in his power to fix it; but the more he thought about it, you seemed to not even care about your words to Jisung and allowed Hyunjin inside, you held onto him with tears in your eyes in the hallway, you had kissed him and not the other way around. Maybe you didn’t want to talk about what happened with Jisung, and if it doesn’t seem to be ruining your relationship anymore, maybe he shouldn’t bring it up again.
His resolve absolutely crumbles like the lost city of Troy, you exit the bathroom drying your hair, towel in your hands and not wrapped around your body. Hyunjin could no longer control the need to be inside you, to feel you submit to him and let him give you immense pleasure. He rapidly jumped from your bed and behind your naked figure. His hand immediately ripped the towel from your hands and tossed it across the room, taking the opportunity to grip your hair forcing your head back almost sitting on his shoulder. “What are you doing?” he growls behind hooded eyes. You look up at him innocently, “nothing daddy” you state sweetly, his hand smacks down harshly on your ass causing you to squeak and jump at his action.
“Dont lie to me, baby” He warns in your ear. You can feel yourself practically dripping in excitement, you had to contain your smile as Hyunjin fell perfectly in your trap. You knew you’d at least be able to do some form of seduction at some point in the time he chose to be here, you just didn’t know it would just ta cke a simple shower with the door open to completely break him. You figured you were going to have to do more, but you were happy you didn’t have to work so hard for it. “I-I’m not I just took a shower daddy” you reaffirm. “It seems like you just want to be punished, I know what you’re doing” He loosens his hold on you “On the bed. All fours. Now" he demands as he forces his shirt over his head, and you quickly rush over to the bed and position yourself. You feel his hand caressing your ass before sliding down toward your entrance.
You feel his fingertips on your core, your legs shake in anticipation. “You’re fucking soaked but you weren’t doing anything?” He quips “Acting like a bitch in heat is nothing?” You stay silent, whimpering as he growls at you. You can feel his fingers teasing your slit, you push yourself back against his hand to add some pressure to your bud. “Fuck---you want daddy to fuck you huh?” He groans as he feels your juices all over his fingers. You nod excitedly, only to be met with another harsh smack of your ass. His hands grip your hair forcing your head back “Use your words babygirl” Your eyes burn with tears “D-daddy f-fuck me please” you beg.
“I'll be so good for you I promise, I need you inside me please daddy” He could feel his pants growing exceptionally tight, quickly forcing them down. “I would prep you baby but fuck it's been way too long since ive fucked you” Rubbing his tip against your slit, before gliding himself inside of you. Your head is thrown back, your mouth hangs open; a loud gasp is released from your throat. Hyunjin’s eyes roll to the back of his head at the feeling, fuck he didn’t realize how long it had been until he was finally back inside you.
“S-so fucking tight baby” He groans as he gently glides himself out before thrusting harshly back inside you immediately hitting your sweet spot. “Fuck daddy” you moan “It's so big, feel so—ngh—feel so full” your need to adjust to his size completely gone from his mind at your words as he begins rapidly attacking your core; his hand with a death grip on your hair as he forces you back on his cock. His free hand taking a hold of your waist to keep you right where he wanted you. His eyes traveling to where your bodies are connected, He throws his head back as his mouth hangs open. He almost, heavy on almost, grabbed his phone and had this moment saved in a hidden folder he kept of similar images and videos you had sent him. His pace is unrelenting as he revels in the practically pornographic noises coming from your throat. “Fuck youre doing so good baby come here” he moans as he pulls himself out of you and lays on your bed. “Come ride me baby” He looks at you, a pleading look on his face as he stroked himself.
You quickly straddled his lap; he presses his lips against yours as you ease yourself onto his length. His arms immediately wrapping themselves around your waist pressing your chest against his. He whines against your lips at the snail pace you’ve chosen to go. His eyes watering with tears at the need to fuck you into oblivion. Your moans and taste only doing more to drive him deeper into insanity. He was so fucking happy you didn’t even think about a condom, the warm velvety feeling of your walls on his bare cock being the only thing he could focus on. His mouth follows after yours as you sit yourself up on his chest, your hands placing themselves on his pecks before speeding up your movements. Hyunjin could tell by how tight your pussy had gotten around him, the way your eyes rolled, and your head hung back that you were close. His hands place themselves under your thighs lifting you slightly as he pounded rapidly into your core. “FUCK--its—it's too much. D-daddy im gon-gonna---Cum for me baby. Fuck please cum around my cock baby.” His voice strained. His vision blurred as you came undone around him.
Quickly, flipping you both over; pressing you against your bed legs wrapped firmly around his waist as he chased his high “Fuck!” he exclaims “Who owns this tight little pussy?” he groans against you. “Y-you do daddy” you moan weakly. He can see you struggling to keep your eyes open at the harshness of his attack on your core. His hand wrapping around your throat “Fuck can—can I cum inside you baby?” He bites his lip, his tone is soft almost inaudible, yet you still heard him and eagerly nodded and begged for him to finish inside you. He buried his face in your neck leaving wet hungry kisses against it as he felt the familiar tightness in his stomach.
“Fuck baby im gonna fucking breed you so well” He groans against your throat. “You want that, babygirl? You want daddy to fuck a baby into you?” he can feel you tighten around him at his words. You can feel the knot forming in your stomach, your arms wrapped around his neck as he pressed your bodies closer together. You felt his fingers on your clit bringing you closer over the edge. “You take daddy’s cock so well—nghhh—fuck I-I--” His eyes rolled to the back of his head as he climaxes deep inside you. Reattaching his lips to yours his hand caressing your face as he pulled himself out of you. Your legs were shaky as you stared at his figure disappearing in the bathroom only to return with a washcloth.
Hyunjin’s mind was all over as he helped clean you up. He almost told you he loved you, he mentally face palmed. That was the last way he wanted to tell you how he felt. His worries quickly fading as he sees your fucked out form, struggling to stay awake as he cleaned you both off. He watched you turn to your side back to him before laying himself back into your bed for the first time since you two had gotten together. His heartbreaks at the confused look you give him as he wraps his arms around you. You open your mouth to say something as he quickly cuts you off before you can say anything “Im staying” he states softly kissing the back of your head
“Get some sleep baby”
______________________________________________________________
To say you were anxious would be an understatement.
When you had received the email from your professor after you and Felix were able to present your routine stating you and Felix would also be in the schools showcase and representing the dance program with your outstanding choreography, you had completely rejected the idea. Not only would that put a hindrance on your mothers not knowing about you majoring in dance, but you would have to dance kinda of sexy with Felix, infront of the whole University and whoever else decided to come to the well-known showcase. BUT Felix seemed really excited about the whole thing and was happy to have been the chosen pair over Hyunjin and Ye-na. Who were also contenders for the top pair in your program, it had been months ago but apparently your first effort as partners really impressed the instructor and she had informed a friend of hers at JYPE who will now be watching the showcase.
Your heart sunk into your ass as you stared out the curtain at the large crowd. You noticed the smiles on the crowds' face as Jisung, Changbin, and surprisingly Bang Chan (who apparently is also a music production major) finish up their set. Your eyes scan the crowd, you notice Yeji, Karina, and Lia all placed in the front row eyes wide with pride and excitement. Your hands are shaky as you nip at your bottom lip, a habit only done in your nervousness, you rub your palms against your dress. You can feel Felix’s eyes on you “Do I look as nervous I feel?” You question looking at him pleadingly. He scratches the back of his neck as he looks everywhere but you. “Yongbokie~” you whine extending the pronunciation of his name with a stomp of your foot. He places his hands on your arms looking directly into your eyes “Dont worry remember im right there and weve done this so often you can do it in your sleep”
“PLEASE HELP US WELCOME LEE YONGBOK AND PARK Y/N FROM OUR DANCE PROGRAM” Your eyes widen at the introduction. “Showtime” Felix’s sings as he walks toward the other end of the stage as the music begins. You stand frozen taking deep breaths as you and Felix stare at each other from across the stage, he gives you a reassuring smile and thumbs up as you both make your way out into the public eye.
(Song- Breathless- Luke James and Jude Demorset)
Yeah Oh yeah Oh, honey Why you looking like that
Didn't I tell you I'd have you hooked By the morning you'll be coming back, oh
You both take slow fluid steps as you walk toward each other, eyes on the other until you reach him, you make a flirty smile as you place your hand across his chest on his shoulder his hand around your waist as you circle each other eyes locked. Oh, baby Why you making that face Like you didn't accept that my body would have you so out of place Oh, baby
You remove your arm from him, turning your head away as he wraps his arms around your waist from behind. As you step toward the front of the stage, with a soft lift of your leg behind you between Felix’s legs as his hands grab yours while you dip and sensually lift yourself. Honey, don't worry You are on your way to heaven Just relax (Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh)
You both pull away and begin making your way to opposite sides of the stage as the music comes to its climax. Your heart no longer shaking, as confidence fills you. Before launching yourself across the stage, toward Felix’s waiting figure. You aerial once you were near him landing perfectly infront of him, your dress flowing beautifully with the choreography.
I don't wanna hurt you I just wanna blow your mind Tonight Imma leave you breathless Breathless (Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh)
Felix’s arms wrap around you as you gracefully turn in his arms, your head bent back whilst your arms are in 5th position. You backbend landing into a split.
Girl I know I'm a rebel Really hope that you don't mind I just wanna leave you breathless Breathless (Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh)
Felix’s hands help guiding you up as he guides you back up to your feet over your head turning you both around slowly as you extend your arms a smile plastered on your face as you flip yourself over his head and back onto your feet
Baby, I don't bite
Felix’s steps are smooth and fluid as he steps toward the front of the stage his hand coming up to cover his chin and mouth as he faced you his other arm wrapping around his torso
Maybe I'm lying But I promise I'm gonna do it right, oh
on beat his head goes faces each side his arms moving gracefully as he extends his arm to the crowd before spinning and giving the audience a flirty smile and wink as he extends his hand toward you.
Honey, don't worry You are on your way to heaven Just relax (Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh)
You point your toe as you walk toward him, your arms moving with the beat before Felix grasps your hand and lifts you over his head. Slowly turning you around as your dress adds another beautiful element to the choreography. You smile at each other at the use of the dirty dancing lift. You both struggle not to laugh as he guides you back down. I don't wanna hurt you I just wanna blow your mind Tonight Imma leave you breathless Breathless (Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh) Baby I know I'm a rebel Really hope that you don't mind I just wanna leave you breathless Breathless (Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh)
You spin your arms guiding your spin before you jete. Standing on one foot as you lift your leg behind you extending your arm up into an Arabesque. You drop to one knee both of your arms crossing into an X over your chest as you tuck your head. You bring your head up elegantly, as your arms extend over your head and back flip into a standing position your arms straight up. You turn into Felix’s arms, his hand wrapping itself around your waist as you place your hand on his chest, your faces inches from each other as the song comes to a close.
Your chest is heaving as you hear the roar of applause from behind you, turning to the crowd you take a hold of Felix’s hand taking a bow before pulling him off stage. A large smile playing on your lips, Felix is giddy as you guys made it off stage. You wrap your arms around his neck “That was fucking awesome!” you declare as Felix laughs in disbelief. You smack his arm as you pull away “How were you so calm? you werent nervous at all?” You question, he scoffs at your words “I WAS TERRIFIED! Theres a scout from JYP out there I was fucking terrified, you couldn’t tell?” he exclaims. Your eyes widen in disbelief “NO! FELIX!” He shrugs as he lifts his hand to point behind you. You turn your head in the direction he was pointing in only to see Karina, Yeji, Lia and your mother and brother running up to you. Your heart sinks at the sight of your mother, you look at the ground in embarrassment. Karina is the first to reach you wrapping her arms around your neck “You were fucking amazing! Is this why Felix is such a dick about people coming to your practices” She exclaims giving a small playful glare to Felix. He rolls his eyes at her words “What the hell are you talking about I’ve invited you” he argues as she removes herself from you. “Guys---” your words are cut off by Yeji and Lia wrapping themselves around you.
“You did so good!” they exclaimed; you laugh at their insync jinx. Your eyes drift to your mother and brother standing behind them, wide proud smiles on their faces. You pull yourself away from the two. Trudging your way over to them, you look at the ground. You feel your brothers' arms wrap around you, “I-I’ve never seen you dance before” his voice is filled with tears you notice the lack of liquor smell on him, only a strong colonge. You feel tears welling in your eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me?” You can hear the heartbreak in your mother's voice. “Eomma!” you cried as you wrap your arms around her “I'm sorry...I wanted to tell you! I did but you were so disappointed at the idea I didn’t want to hurt you” you cried. She shook her head as she wrapped her arms around you “you could never disappoint me, I'm sorry for making you feel like you couldn’t tell me" She wiped your tears “You’re an amazing dancer, you remind me of your father”
“Hi Im Felix” Felix exclaims excitedly extending his hand toward your brother a large bright smile on his face.
______________________________________________________________
You were greatful for the showers in the female dressing room.
After your overwhelmingly emotional moment with your family, you quickly rushed into the dressing room, undressing and quickly making your way into the warm water waiting for you. You can hear the dressing room open, the murmur of voices making their way into the vanity room. Choosing to enjoy your shower you grab your shampoo and lather it onto your hair. You hear a crash from the strangers in the next room.
“Ye-na what is going on?!” her friend exclaimed as you heard more crashes from the room. You hear a pause before you hear the familiar screech of Ye-na's voice “I just don’t get Hyunjin, I thought we were like going somewhere but apparently not” she snapped. Your ears perk up at the sound of your boyfriends name. Your eyebrows scrunch in confusion. “what do you mean?” her friend inquires. “I mean he had no problem sleeping with me at the party the night before we started classes and now all of a sudden I don’t fucking exist!!” your heart breaks at her words. He slept with her.....tears well up in your eyes. He slept with her the same night he slept with you. You scoff in disbelief.
“Wait doesn’t he have a girlfriend?” her friend questions. You press yourself against the shower wall, waiting in anticipation. Your heart pounded against your chest, your hands shaky. Your shower long over but you were frozen in place under the rapid cascade of the water. “He said they werent anything serious” You could hear the smirk on her lips. Nothing serious? You heard the door close. Turning the water off, you slowly make your way out of the shower. Grabbing onto the towel you allow the tears to fall. You feel your body trembling as you hold the towel against your chest, leaning against the doorframe. Nothing serious..... that’s what you were to Hyunjin. Nothing serious. Pulling your phone out you see new messages from Felix, your tears cascading down your face. Quickly responding to him you pull your long sleeve skin tight shirt and black sweats on.
You hear a soft knock on the door. Wiping your cheeks you crack the door slightly, only to be met with a set of soft concerned eyes staring back at you. Once his eyes landed on your sobbing form, he wraps his arms around you pulling you into his chest. You sobbed against him as he cooed in your ear. “what happened? You were just so happy what changed?” He questions. Sniffling as you pull back you explain what you had overheard. You notice a change in his demeanor, his fists balled up at his side. “Youre kidding right?” He growls behind a clenched jaw. You shake your head as you grab your bag “Can you please just bring me home?” you plead. He runs his hand through his hair. “Arent you going to talk to him?” He inquires. Shaking your head rapidly “Not....Not now” You state dejectedly “Not today”
“Honey, theres no day but today.”
“Ill do it another day Lix forreal I cant handle anymore right now”
He shakes his head “No. Youre doing it today. Theres literally no day you should even do it but today. You don’t think hes going to figure out youre avoiding him?”
*PING*
Your phone sounds. Seeing his contact name pop up you open his message.
Quickly, locking your phone without responding you turn your attention back to Felix. “Can you bring me home? Yes or No? Cause if not I have to leave now while I still havent seen him”
*PING*
Rolling your eyes at his nerve to be annoyed. “Felix~!” you beg as your phone goes off once more. Irritation filling you at his words. “Fine, BUT you owe me” Felix groans pulling your attention away from your phone for a second. “nice to know your profiting off of my misery some friend you are....” You groan as you finally respond to Hyunjin.
You smile to yourself at your petty use of the nickname you called Felix that Hyunjin absolutely hated. Feeling quite proud of yourself as your phone goes off with countless messages now being ignored. Walking with Felix out of the auditorium and into the parking lot you see his familiar black and red motorcycle. You hesitate at the thought of actually getting on it. Felix grabs his spare helmet and holds it out to you. Grabbing a hold of the item you feel a hand wrap around your wrist and turn you around. Your eyebrows scrunch together as you force your hand out of the persons grip. Your heart cracks once more as you come face to face with Hyunjin, an irritated scowl on his features. “Is there something you want?” You growl.
“Yeah why the fuck are you going home with Felix?” He snaps back. “Woah, okay dude relax she just asked me for a ride home” Felix quips from behind you. You can see the fire in Hyunjin’s eyes “Are you my fucking girlfriend?!” he spits. Felix chuckles to himself “She wont be your girlfriend for long....” he mutters under his breath as he rolls his eyes. “Y/Nie~, ill wait over there for you just let me know when your ready to go” Felix states calmly as he wraps one arm around your shoulder giving you a small side hug before ruffling your hair and walking over to the bench by the entrance.
You nod softly before looking at the ground. “What the hell is your problem?!” you snap, you notice the confusion on Hyunjin’s face. You’ve never really truly yelled at him before so to say he was shocked would be an understatement; but his shock was soon replaced with anger as he growls “MY PROBLEM?!” you nod before shoving him back slightly “Yeah! Your problem. Why are you such a dick to Felix? Hes been nothing but a good friend to me, and you always act like such an ass to him for literally no reason”
“Why cant you see he wants to be with you?!”
“WHY DOES IT MATTER?!” You snarl “Its not like we’re anything serious right?”
You cant help but feel guilty as you see hurt flash across Hyunjins face “We’re- we arent anything serious?” His voice is laced with pain. “Why would—why would you say something like that?” you notice tears in his eyes his voice growing shaky. “Its what you told Ye-na right?” You stare at him, tears filling your eyes as you remember why you wanted Felix to bring you home. “what?......” His voice is so small its almost inaudible “w-where did you hear that?”
“So its true? Nice to know” you state matter of factly crossing your arms over your chest as a stray tear makes its way down your cheek.
“N-no! I didn’t--I wouldn’t---I never told that to anyone. I am serious about us” He declares in a panic as he reaches for you, you take a step back. “Babe....” He pleads. “i swear I-I never said that to Ye-na" you shake your head at him lifting your hand “And shes just so delusional that she thinks you two slept together as well right?” Sarcasm drips off your tone like venom. His face drops his mouth hanging open to say something before closing it again unable to find the words. You scoff at his hesitance “So you did. You slept with her?” He steps close to you once again you step back.
“not recently......”
“Please just—just delete my number” Your hurt obvious in the way your voice cracks, Hyunjin’s tears begin to fall “What?” His voice is shaky “N-no. Why?” you shake your head in disbelief “Because you cheated on me Hyunjin are you stupid or something?”
“No I didn’t I swear! Baby I never cheated on you, me and ye-na was a long time ago before us please belie-believe me” His hand finally is able to wrap around your wrist pulling you into him burying his face in your neck. You shake your head as you attempt force your way out of his arms “Let. Me. Go.” You growl. Hyunjin shakes his head as his arms wrap around you tighter “No! No I cant” he cries “I cant youre going to leave” you continue your fight as you feel your shirt growing wet, Hyunjin’s form now trembling. “please! I cant lose you please.....I would never---I could never cheat on you please don’t go please just listen to me” He sobbed. You look over to Felix signalling him to come back and start his motorcycle. You shake your head “I cant. I cant do this anymore Hyunjin”
“NO! Stop please im Hyunnie, your Hyunnie. Please, please I don’t know what else to do babe I didn’t cheat on you. Im serious about us im so fucking serious about us please believe that! I cant lose you, not like this, not because of her I swear nothing happened with her in so fucking long. I’ve only been with you. I only want you please at least let me prove that” He pleads as you hear the roar of Felix’s engine. Finally pulling yourself away from his arms, you take one final look at Hyunjin’s face. He still looked absolutely perfect, even as he cried. Your heart raced as you felt his lips press against yours. Your resolve almost crumbles as his lips moved against yours, the taste of his tears mixing with your own. Pulling away he presses his forehead against yours his hands on either side of your face. “Im sorry, I just cant trust you.” you cry, he shakes his head “please don’t do this, I love you please” he pleads, youre heart breaks at his confession. Taking a step back. “let’s........break up” you declare softly as you hop on the back of Felix’s bike and tap him signalling for him to drive away.
Ignoring the flurry of calls and text messages now flooding your phone you allow the tears to fall completely and whole heartedly, you sob into Felix’s back.
#hyunjin angst#hyunjin smut#hyunjin fluff#stray kids angst#stray kids smut#stray kids fluff#skz hyunjin#skz felix
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Can You Do Strung Up With Virnix?
"Wait up you tree trunk bastard!"
"Run faster then!"
"I have tiny legs a-hole!"
The park had been Virgil and Janus' favorite place to hang out for as long as he could remember.
They could eat, there was a playground, a carnival, pathways and nature trails, anything you could ever want for a date!
Virgil adored it, and Janus just adored seeing Virgil happy.
Virgil joked that Janus was like a dragon, hoarding photos of a smiling Virgil in a box in his room.
Janus said it's because it reminds him of how much he treasures a happy Virgil, rather than the man he'd met all those years back in highschool.
Virgil and Janus rarely argued, in fact, they didnt argue at all, anymore that is.
But that was because Virgil simply bottled his feelings now.
Like his uncomfortable he was around Janus' business partner.
Nix Zoth was a very successful man, who ran a company that worked in partnership with Janus' own.
But where Janus simply knew the laws and rules by the letter, and thus how to get around them and keep he and his company and loves ones safe.
Nix was simply underhanded, blatantly misusing his power for whatever he wanted.
And it seemed, as of late, he wanted Virgil.
Constantly he would ask Janus if Virgil could model for anything from photoshoots to painting sessions; and, as Virgil hadn't declined or protested, Janus had allowed these ventures.
Ventures, that left Virgil fearful and desperate to run back into Janus' arms before he wasnt able to.
He though about this on the drive over to Nix's studio, he'd debated pretending to be tired as an excuse, but they hadn't really been at the park that long, he'd barely worked up a sweat.
"If it's alright with you Janus I'd prefer a solo performance today," Nix said as the couple walked up to the door, Virgil's hand tensed.
"Are you sure? I'm not particularly fond of leaving my darling unattended," Janus replied, running his thumb over Virgil's knuckles.
"It wont be but a moment," Nix replied.
The back and forth continued, Nix making some thinly veiled threats under his breath that only Virgil seemed to hear.
Until finally he was left alone on a brightly lit sheet of photo background, spotlight and all.
The cameras flashed.
Once. . .
Twice. . .
Three times. . .
And Virgil could no longer see.
He fought and thrashed and flung himself about as he felt cuffs wrapping around his wrists, neck, and legs, something else being wrapped around his eyes, and a searing pain as something was poured down his throat.
By the time he could register his surroundings everything had dissolved into mindless empty chatter.
About an art exhibit.
Virgil had been turned into a living art exhibit.
I love what he's done with the wings
Such a bold statement!
I swear I saw it move!
It looks so lifelike! I just dont know how he does it!
Now that Virgil thought about it, many of Nix's art pieces were very life-like.
The whole place must've been filled with people, and gods knew how long they'd all been there.
For Virgil, it had been nearly five months, surviving only on whatever had been poured down his throat to prevent him from screaming.
But as the fifth month drew near, instead Virgil was met with blaring alarms, someone had broken in.
And not just one someone, it sounded like an entire team.
"GET BACK WHICHEVER EXHIBIT BELONGS TO YOU! THEN WE TAKE THE FIGHT TO NIX!" Virgil knew that voice. . . Janus.
Oh how elated he was to finally be returned to Janus' arms.
And even more so when he was finally safe at home.
Nix's company had shut down more days later for kidnapping and fraud, and that may well have been the sweetest prize of all.
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* HEATHER BARON-GRACIE, CIS FEMALE + SHE/HER | you know OLIVE ABRHAMS, right? they’re TWENTY-THREE, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, TWO YEARS? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to GIRL IN RED like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole FIRST DATES AT A CEMETERY, PAINTING AT THREE AM, LONG WALKS DOWN THRIFT STORE AISLES thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is SEPTEMBER 13TH, so they’re a VIRGO, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( e, 25, cst, she/her ) * applying for luisa’s bandmate 𝚑𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚘 𝚒𝚝 𝚒𝚜 𝚒, 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚜𝚑 𝚐𝚘𝚋𝚕𝚒𝚗, 𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐩𝐥𝐨𝐭 okay the TL;DR, lesbian, artist, cynical, she is the queen of spook and even I dont control her. more under the cut.
► basics;
Full Name: Olivia ‘olive’ Abrhams Age: 23 Birthday: september thirteenth Sexual Orientation: lesbian Occupation: morgue receptionist (but wants to be an artist full time) Nationality: british (northern)
► background;
Place of Birth: Sheffield, England Hometown: Philadelphia, Pennsylvania Education: University
► relatives;
Siblings: Older Brother (matty healy fc)
► relationships;
Ex-Significant Other(s): TBF Reason for Separation: TBF Current Significant Other: TBF What They Look For In Others: loyalty, genuine passion for life, understanding.
► personality;
Positive Traits: understanding, nonjudgemental, loving, creative Negative Traits: cold, impatient, cynical, overly passionate
► misc;
Hobbies: painting (girl is always covered in paint), knitting, reading, finding underground bars, learning about old forgotten languages First Book They Read: Judy Moody Favorite Book: The Well of Loneliness - Radclyff Hall Favorite Music Artist: Girl in Red Favorite Subject: Art Pets: a black cat and a boa Habits: picking at her nails, rolling her eyes ►Full Story Parents died when she was young, she moved to Philly to be with her grandmother on her dads side who wasnt all that great, she and her brother vowed to get out together. The two Abrhams siblings were an odd bunch, drawn in by the morbid and trying to find the beauty in it all. When Isaac finally turned of age they moved away from Philadelphia. The pair played music, studied photographic composition, painted, played with light, they let their creative energy radiate. In this time Olive learned how to play the guitar and started to write poetry as well as taking up an obsessive love of painting. ►Random HC // Aesthetics x dark academia is the way. x her apartment closely represents that of crime scene photos taken of prolific serial killers homes. Think taxidermy skulls, tarot cards, vintage poison bottles, plants everywhere (like seriously so many plants), book titles which include; how to make a serial killer, serial killers & sadistic murders. (only 3/10 chance she would actually kill you tho, so dont be too spooked) x stays up late at night to think of plots to save all the stray cats x listens to an alarming amount of sapphic music, dont ask her to stop, she will give you a look that even satan himself envies. x secret fan of things that arent art house, if you get close enough she might even show you her collection of science fiction novels, and talk your ear off about the lore of the Dune universe. x super helpful, will help you slash tires of your exs, and spray paint their car in a super artistic way. x definition be gay; do crimes ►POSSIBLE CONNECTIONS ex girlfriend, any and all possibilities, pining still, hate eachother, messy break up, any and all best friends, people who olive hangs out with regularly straight girl that olive is hopelessly pining over best friend, and so what if we get cuddly, we arent in love, no..no we arent in love.. no way people freaked by olives vibe, no she totally isnt playing up her spook just to intimidate you people she works with, give me the doctor friends, give me the nurses in school who need to do a clinical at a morgue, give me florists who work with funeral homes, give me it all.
#irivingintro#about#HI GUYS#this is my lil bean#I love her v much and would love to plot with all of you!
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My approach to flat colors + limited palette drawings
This is a follow up to this post i made about how i go about figuring out a color palette for my limited palette drawings. an anon asked me about my actual technique of finishing them so this is gonna be an explanation of how I work in a limited palette with flat colors. I ended up with these thumbnails for a sketch last time so we’re gonna work from here and I’m gonna sort of walk through how i got to the finished version
first things first: every part of this process is just developed as a result of me messing around. take my advice with a grain of salt and if you think you know a way to do something better/that makes you more comfortable. go with that over what I say.
I’m honestly a little surprised when people express confusion about how i draw like this because it’s SUPER simple - literally all you’re doing is just stacking solid color blocks of shape. its very imprecise despite how sharp everything ends up looking.
First things first is that you want to decide how you will be handling your edges throughout the duration. Do you want your shapes to be ultra-sharp and precise, or do you want a little bit of a wobblier, grainier edge? Both can look good but it’s VERY much a matter of situational basis. i’ve been favoring looser and grainier shapes so that’s how i’m going to be working on this.
on the left here, you can see the shapes made with precise rectangular selections and an untextured pen, on the right, freehand drawn shapes and a grittier pen. There’s something immediately pretty different feeling about them. So play around with that first - its not something that’s fun to change halfway through! But lets step back a minute. It helps to work large to small. The two biggest shapes here are these orange chunks and everything gets stacked on top of them so i’m gonna do that first.
Now, a key feature of what i do: clipping masks. almost all digital art programs have them. What a clipping mask does is it constrains the pixels of a layer to the transparency of the layer below it. Here I have the light orange layer, and then on top of it the buildings and billboard are clipped to the orange. Most of you probably already know this and I’m overexplaining a bit, but there was a time when i didnt know how clipping layers worked and someone had to explain it to me.
now you’ll notice the shapes of the buildings are rough, and sloppy. here’s the fun part: since this is all about stacking shapes, only your exterior edges matter. this all gets filled in. be as sloppy as you want when you’re making your shapes. in fact, the outside edges get trimmed out a bunch to when i do this - i go in and erase them clean. Don’t be too finnicky about drawing perfect and precise! its a waste of time. As long as the silhouette is what you want, the interior can be a nightmare.
Working this way, it’s important to keep your layers stacked in a way you can make sense of. Right now there are four layers here: the background dark orange, the two main orange rectangle shapes, and then the buildings on one layer and a billboard on the other. I rack up a LOT of layers doing this and it makes it annoying in some aspects, but being able to freely recolor any one chunk without losing my detail is a key aspect of this.
So, I block those out
Next, I do the same for the smaller chunks that are still main shapes. There are once again, a lot of layers here. The top layer is the hair - you can see the head showing through it. The head and arm underneath the hair, same layer. Then the cup. Then the light green pieces of paper. Then the dark green ones.
The cup is technically farther forward than the head and arm so you would think it’d go on top, but the point isnt to recreate the foreground and background hierarchy with layers so much as it is to group things in a way i can work with. The cup goes underneath so it can be grouped with all the other objects on the table.
now, i just go and fill in all the shapes. i forgot to do the blinds but i get them later. you might notice a lot of these shapes are pretty rough, which was harder to notice before they were filled in. Now that I can see better, I go in with an eraser and clean up the edges until they’re the shape I want
sometimes erasing leaves little bits of ‘noise’ around objects like on this napkin here. i like to keep a little bit of this noise for texture, but if you dont like it make sure to get rid of it! if you’re working very crisp this will stand out a LOT
Next up is to add some detail onto the objects
I flipped the canvas here because the head shape was wrong - the ears were uneven and i wanted to fix it. I want to go about adding detail onto the billboard and buildings. i do all detail with clipping masks - but the objects are clipped to another layer and so nothing can be clipped to them. instead, i unclip them and just erase by selection for the same effect
all of the text on the papers is clipped to the papers below it. the buttons are clipped to the phone. the yellow photos and card are actually another independent layer on top, in case i want to recolor them separately. im indecisive and end up recoloring things a lot. For the most part these objects are starting to become recognizable as more than just shapes
i go in an add the details on the background and character now. theres some more stuff on the table. the lines of the face and ears are on one layer, and the flats of the eyes below that. Here’s what each group of layers is, and what they look like on their own
The background/bottom chunk. Just the table, window, and shirt.
The middle bit. All the stuff on the table and the blinds.
Finally, the top, which is just his head and arm.
now this stage is the bare bones of the drawing. you can more or less tell everything that’s happening. it reads. but its very much lacking in something - it doesnt have a ton of depth or interest. and adding that additional detailing, the dept and interest, is where stuff starts getting REALLY tricky and subjective.
im gonna take you to a much simpler scenario to show the sort of options i go through at this stage
ahh its our dear friend, sphere casting shadow. this is, more or less, the kind of image we have. you can tell whats happening but it’s lackluster. there are TONSSS of ways frm here that you can go add interior detail to a shape once it has been established. here are some quick and SUPER rough examples
from top left to bottom right: flat cel shading, softer airbrushed/gradient shading, halftone, and a textured brush. Each of these has their strengths and weaknesses. They can also be combined.
for example, here’s the solid cel shading being used to contain a gradient/airbrushed detail. This image - probably the single oldest piece of my art i still willingly show people - is entirely colored with gradients being contained in cel-shaded chunks. It has a sort of soft, luminous quality but without losing its crispness.
here’s a super quick bust with some variations of stuff going on. obviously this is no masterpiece but you see how different types of detailing can interact with each other and be used to distinguish materials too.
With the mob psycho comic I did, the detailing that wasnt line was done using a variety of halftones of different shapes layered on top of each other
by contrast parts of my ace attorney comic use a textured brush and have a sort of blended, papery feel
any of them can work for pretty much anything as long as you are using it with intent. practice around. mix styles of finishing together. find a comfort zone. the more you do it the more intuitive it becomes and at the heart of it this process is a very intuitive way of drawing because of how far removed it is from realism.
Now here is the trick - light and shadow.
Everything up to this point has been very flat and adding detail helps but there’s only so much that can accomplish. To get HEAVY light and shadow you need to think about things differently. I think if there’s any part of this process that’s complicated, its this one.
To truly get the most out of your palette, you need to pick chunks of an image to be in higher/lower light and then either ‘step up’ or ‘step down’ the colors in that chunk. here’s what I mean.
Here’s our ball with a beam of light on it. Everything Within the beam of light is one step in our limited palette lighter than anything outside of it. Here’s how I go about doing this: the shape of the beam of light is below everything else. Then, once I have the shape blocked out, i select it. With that selection in place, i go to EVERY SINGLE LAYER that’s effected, lock the opacity, and recolor that chunk. So what’s going on here is that there is only one more layer - the beam of light, below everything but the background, and the rest of this effect is just caused by every layer above it now being two-toned following the exact same silhouette. THIS is why it’s so important to keep your layers separate - if the shadow and highlight had been painted onto the base directly, i would not be able to do this without significant effort.
This works with all of the finishing techniques I talked about above
A combination of cel shading and half toning, all stepped up to give the appearance of heavier light on one area.This is also how I go about rendering transparency in this style. All of my layers are fully opaque and I allow the colors to do the work of conveying transparent material
Here’s our ball with the patterned/textured brush shading, being viewed partially through a window
it’s obviously not a very representational way of working, but as long as your audience UNDERSTANDS what you’re trying to convey, then you’re executing it successfully.
So with that, now we’re gonna go and finish this drawing.
For this one, I decide a big central shadow is necessary. In the original thumbnail, he was backlit, which I still plan on doing, and that wouldn’t make sense without casting a shadow.
I’ve had to change the colors of some objects entirely in order to get this to work right. This is what I mean when I call this an intuitive process - some stuff felt weird, so I changed it. This also involves a bit of problem solving. The newspaper is now unable to be separated from his hand. Sometimes changing the color of an object makes that object look better, but ruins its relationship with the objects around it. It’s up to you to learn how to adjust and finagle things until you get it where you want.The paper he has and the napkin underneath it also all blend together now.
The next few parts of this process are REALLY just trial and error, where I toss a bunch of spaghetti at it until it works. It’s hard to decide what to screenshot, because I don’t know what will or will not be part of the finished drawing. To that end, you can watch the recording of this drawing here. This video isn’t edited at all so it contains a couple of minutes of really shitty sketching, and then all of the color thumbnailing work i did in the last post. Actually getting started on these final colors begins around the two minute mark. It is also sideways, I am sorry I don’t know why.
Now, here you can see where I’ve more or less worked things out. His hand’s not on the cup anymore because my friend pointed out it didnt have an arm attached to it. I added some halftoning to make a gradiating effect in the sky and on the table to give the impression of a sunrise. His eyes are different but as of posting this, I don’t like them and am probably about to go back and change them again. The Cup now has a shadow and some rim lighting. His hand is in shadow. The stain on the napkin is big enough to define the edge of the paper on top of it.
Little things like that.
The more you draw like this the more the way you need to think about your space becomes natural. I hope this helps and I wish you all the best of luck!
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Hiya!! I love your blog and your headcannons! I don't know if your requests are open right now, if they aren't feel free to ignore this and I'm sorry for asking. But if they are! I was wondering how the RFA + V and Saeran would react to an Australian MC or just an MC who isn't from South Korea. Thank you so much in advance! Hope you have a good one!
thank you for requesting!! and sorry for taking so long aha AP tests still kiLLINg me softly eue and sorry about these being a bit short too!! but i hope you enjoy <3
also let’s assume that MC has very recently moved to south korea and just pretend language barriers dont exist here aHAHA B)
Yoosung
when he firsts speaks to you on the phone, he’s surprised by your voice!
he also has no idea what you look like, so he’d definitely wonder about that for a while
BEGS seven to give you access to send photos T-T
but he has a lot of fun getting to know you and where you’re from, especially because he hasn’t travelled as much as anyone else in RFA
when he finally meets you he thinks back to when he was first imagining what you looked like
and tells you all about it
also teaches you a lot of cool youthful slang B)
you both immediately plan a trip to australia (or for other MC’s, insert your home country) aT THE PARTY-
Zen
zen would also spend a lot of time wondering about what you look like
he wants to know your skin type especially, so he can recommend products to you
lots of conversations that include comparing different skincare brands and products
convos about the best places to hold photoshoots also take place
when all the chaos dies down he takes you out to sightsee all the popular places as well as any hidden gems he knows of
if zen wasn’t an actor he could definitely do well as a tour guide haha
Jaehee
since jaehee is one of the few members who are suspecting of you, she’d first disguise her investigation tactics as getting-to-know-you
but eventually she’d find herself genuinely interested in you
your lifestyle just sounds so much more fun compared to hers
like yoosung, she doesn’t get to travel around as much as the rest
so you both sit down and plan a round trip to a bunch of places you guys wanna see, then to australia (or for other MC’s, insert your home country), and back to south korea
of course she wants you to settle down first, she understands that you’ve just been through a hell of a lot haha
so the trip is planned for the following year!
Jumin
jumin travels the most so he’s most definitely already been to australia (or for other MC’s, insert your home country)
but he’s only ever travelled for business, not really for holiday or vacation
like yoosung, he is intrigued by your voice but he likes it a lot
ah yes he totally would give you a tour in one of his helicopters
a whole new world playing in the background
overall, he has a lot of fun getting to know you and bonding over similar and different experiences alike
707/Saeyoung
seven too has been around a lot for work, but never gets to travel just for the hell of it
and he could listen to you talk about your life experiences all day
unlike some of the other members he is set on travelling to space before anywhere else
so no airplane rides anytime soon with this guy LOL
but if he ever sees you homesick he’s quick to comfort you
even tries to use minecraft to replicate your favorite place in australia (or for other MC’s, insert your home country)
V
v is probably the only member who had travelled away at least twice for recreational purposes
but he’s never been to australia (or for other MC’s, insert your home country) before !
in the getting to know you process he would guess what your answer would be to a question before asking it, and secretly get happy inside if what he guessed was correct
when you guys meet he gives you a ton of advice for living here
on your bday he would try to paint a photo of your favorite place, which you gave to him when he asked for it
when you guys are a bit older you travel to your home town and recreate some of your baby/childhood photos hehe
Saeran
he is interested in literally everything about you
your voice, your style, your stories...everything
he’s been sheltered his entire life and admires how free and different you are from him
you both spend time together exploring different ice cream shops and bakeries in south korea
flying would probably give him anxiety so no travel plans for now
and no matter how many days, months, or years pass, he is always excited when it comes to talking with you and comparing your experiences
but nothing tops the feeling he gets when you guys try out something new together
he loves making memories with you and being apart of you and your life <333
#mystic messenger#mystic messenger headcanons#mystic messenger yoosung#mystic messenger zen#mystic messenger jaehee#mystic messenger jumin#mystic messenger 707#mystic messenger v#mystic messenger saeran
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You Left Me
You held your breath as you saw him. He hasn’t changed, not even a little bit. It took Jay longer to recognize you, he was too preoccupied with the case in his mind to piece together. But the minute that your eyes landed on his eyes, Jay was back in high school.
“Hi, y/n I’m sorry about this, but I was wondering if you saw anything last night?” You were too dazed to even say anything. You couldn’t break eye contact even if you wanted to. Upton looked between you and Jay since both of you remained frozen. “Y/n,” you looked away, watching the detective.
“I’m sorry, uhm I wasn’t home last night, I actually came home a few hours ago,” you couldn’t look at him anymore, because you know you would cry.
“Oh I’m sorry to bother,” Upton grabbed Jay, walking away. You closed the door behind them, leaning against the door, letting the tears fall out.
———
You were making dinner when you heard the knock on the door. You turned off the kitchen stove, before walking to the door. As you opened the door, you saw Jay waiting on the other side.
“Jay,” you murmured.
“Y/n,” he answered back. You felt like you were 17 all over again, with the butterflies every time he said your name. But you also remembered the pain he brought to you on your graduation day, the day before he got shipped out.
“Please leave,” you asked of him. The more you thought of him, the more your heart hurt.
“Please, I just want to talk,” you knew you should let him talk, but your anger told you otherwise.
“You lost your right to ever talk to me again when we were 18,” you said. Your hand was clutching to the doorknob but Jay wouldn’t budge.
“Y/n I’m sorry but I didn’t want you getting hurt,” he said, making you snort.
“So you hurt me to prevent me from getting hurt?” you questioned him.
“I didn’t know,” his words angered you more.
“Didn’t know what that I was in love with you for the two years we were together,” You yelled. “We made a promise together that we would stick by each other and you broke it,” You tears swelled up.
That last night came flooding back into your memories.
You both just graduated and you had convinced your parents to sleep over Jays that night. You were cuddling in his bed, watching some dumb movie. Jay was off that night, he didn’t kiss you when you came inside but gave you a hug and every time you shuffled yourself closer to him, he would slowly pull away. You leaned in for a kiss, slowly straddling him.
“Babe I’m not in the mood tonight,” he asked of you. You understood that sometimes people aren’t feeling the best but something was different this time.
“Jay this is the last night I’m seeing you before you leave, and I can’t even get a kiss?” He sighed, grabbing your hands who were on his cheeks.
“I have to talk to you,” You got off of him, sitting to be next to him.
“Anything,” You rubbed his back in an attempt to comfort him.
“I’m leaving and I don’t know when ill be back if ill be back, I might die,” you hated when Jay got this way, you knew he wanted to be in the army
“Baby don’t say that, remember I’m here with you through everything,”
“I dont want you too, go have a life, be with someone who can make you happy who will be with you every day,”
“Jay what are you trying to say,”
“I want to break up,” wait what. You got up from the bed looking down at the floor. “I still care about you but you have to move on,”
“You’re quitting on me,”
“Y/n,” You walked away leaving his apartment for the last time in 11 years.
“I was just trying to protect you,”
“Awesome protection Jay, "Ricky came running to you, paint in his hands.
"Mom have you seen my other paintbrushes,”
“Ricky please don’t make a mess, they’re in the drawer next to the kitchen. He looked to Jay before heading back to the kitchen. Jay watched as Ricky walked away turning to you.
"How old is he?” You tried closing the door, being stopped by Jays hand. “Y/n how old is he,”
“He’s 10,” You knew he’d figure it out sooner or later. He had his father’s eyes.
“Why didn’t you tell me?
"Because you left me,” you hushed. “You thought about yourself and I could never forgive you for that,”
“But he’s my kid,”
“And you think I didn’t try telling you!” “Why do you think I called the first few months and you didn’t answer. If you didn’t care about me why would you care about him.”
“It wasn’t like that” Jay tried apologizing. He remembered coming back and searching for you but you were gone. “when I got back, I looked for you but you disappeared,”
“Sorry if I was too embarrassed to stay in that town,” you muttered.
“Please I want to apologize to you,”
“you can apologize but its gonna take some time to forgive,” Jay nodded, giving up on putting you through any more pain. he apologized one more time before turning around to leave you alone Even though you were in pain, something was stopping you from letting him walk away again. “Jay,”
He turned around, seeing his eyes red already. “I work tonight and my babysitter can't watch Ricky,” You knew for you it would take time but now that Jay knew, you didn’t want to be the bad guy and hold him away from his own son.
“I can do it,” You nodded telling him the time you had to go to work before closing the door.
——
You opened the door to the apartment turning on the hallway light. You heard the small sound of the tv playing in the background but everything else was complete silence. You followed the sound, walking into your living room.
You smiled at the view, Jay was asleep on the couch with Ricky sleeping peacefully on his lap. You gently picked Ricky up, taking him to his bedroom before putting him into his bed, pushing a stray hair away from his face, before kissing him on the forehead. He always looked more like his father every day and now that you saw him today, you wouldn’t know how you’ll manage but Ricky was the best thing to happen in your life. You mumbled I love you before closing the door behind you.
You were exhausted from work that you didn’t even bother waking up Jay, you just went straight to your bathroom to wash your face.
You were anxious at the doctor’s office. The doctor had said it was only gonna take a minute but you felt like its been an hour. It had been already a month since Jay had shipped out, at first you thought the morning vomits were from the stress of the breakup or from university but one morning you woke up and you just felt different. You didn’t want to admit so you booked a doctor’s appointment behind your parents back.
The doctor came inside holding what you can assume was your file. He said hello to you before looking through your file. “well y/n your HCG levels are high,”
“Doc what does that mean,”
“youre pregnant,” Your mouth went dry. You felt the ground swaying, making you grasp on to the table to hold you steady. “if you want I can talk to you about the processes of abortion or adoption,” You shook your head, inviting more tears.
“No… I’m keeping the baby,” You touched your stomach, promising the baby and yourself, that no matter what happens you’d never quit on this baby.
——
Once you finished brushing your teeth, you went to your bedroom, changing into your Pj’s. You opened the last drawer in your nightstand, pulling out a metal box. You kept this box in case Ricky ever had any questions but you always tried to not look inside because it always brought you bad memories.
You picked up the first picture of Ricky’s ultrasound. The next picture was a picture of Jay and you under a tree that a friend took of you too. The last one was a picture of you and Ricky in your arms.
You didn’t even notice you were crying until you noticed the teardrops on the photo. You put the pictures back in the box, sitting down on the floor, weeping into your arms. You felt drained that when you felt his arms wrapping around you, you didn’t try fighting it. You let yourself be pulled in to Jay’s chest, allowing the tears to fall on him.
“Y/N I’m so sorry,” He whispered into your hair, holding on to your shaking body. You two stayed in that position for who knows how long, you just knew that Jay was gonna stay there all night if you needed him there. He told himself he’d never leave you again.
“I’m sorry,” You wiped the tears, slowly getting up. He followed, sitting down on your bed.
“I just have one question,” He asked with caution. He didn’t want you to break down again. When you nodded your head he continued. “Why did you leave?”
“My family wanted to continue the perfect life and an 18-year-old single daughter in college didn’t necessarily fit that plan,” you sat down next to him, putting your head against his shoulder. “I got kicked out, couldn’t afford my own place so I stayed with friends until I got back onto my feet,“
“I tried calling you but soon gave up on that, so I started working full time so I dropped out college,” Jay placed his hand on top of yours, caressing it with his thumb. Jay remembered the days you called. He wanted to answer the phone and hear your voice but his brain told him to let you go and not lead you on. He was being an asshole now that he thought back on it now.
You were done crying for the night but that didn’t stop your throat from drying up with each word. “ I’ve worked my ass off to make sure Ricky got everything he wanted and I dont regret that,”
“I’m a huge asshole,” You agreed with him making both of you laugh. “I know its gonna take some time, but I want to be there for you and for Ricky,” You nodded giving him a hug.
Jay guided you to your bed pulling you under the covers. He was on his way out when you stopped him.
“Jay,” He turned around, looking down at you. “I haven’t forgiven you but can you sleep with me tonight,” You dont know why but you had a feeling it would be a sleepless night without Jay. He went under the covers with you slowly pushing you against him, putting his arms over yours. You could smell his clone, forming a small smile. You felt your eyes get heavy as sleep pulled you in. It was gonna take a long time to forgive Jay but tonight was a start.
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graphics guide
a guide filled with basic info, tips, and answers to common questions that i hope helps people who want to start making graphics
*this was made based on my experiences of making graphics and is what i thought was important to cover but everyone has different ways and approaches so dont feel the need to follow everything on here
what is a graphic?
a graphic (also known as ‘gfx’) is a image edit that incorporates various elements (textures, filters, text, etc) in order to visualize a idea or to create a aesthetic composition
unlike making gifs, there is no right or proper way to make a graphic so dont get too caught up in the idea that a graphic should look a certain way - just stick with your style and what you think looks good
anatomy
image/subject
usually the main focus of the whole graphic
you should always try to use a sharp hd picture - getting it from the original source is always the best option
make sure the source of the picture allows editing - pictures from public sources like a company or the news can be edited while fansite pics and scans need to have permission asked (and if they give you permission make sure you link them when you post your graphic!)
coloring
often referred as ‘psd’ because that is the format they are in (i.e. pink psd pack)
comprise of multiple layers that can alter the images look
a lot of people make their own colorings since the outcome of the look also depends on the image’s original coloring
textures
smaller cut out images that are often used to decorate the graphic
can also refer to a image that can be use as a background of a graphic
can be found in the form of a png (copy + paste into graphic) or a brush (”painted” on to the graphic)
avoid using any textures that does not state the original poster made them - you could unintentionally be using someone’s work that was not made to be used [read more about it here + resources that you can actually use]
text
text can be used to tell information or just for decoration
try to choose fonts and colors that are legible
faq
what software can i use to make graphics
most people use some version of photoshop (i currently use photoshop cc 2018) and a lot people have it cracked but if you cant afford photoshop, find a cracked version or a patcher (i used adobe zii 3.0.4 for mac), or are uncomfortable with getting a cracked version then there are other softwares that are just as good!
i can only vouch for gimp since i used it when i first started making gfxs. it is very similar to photoshop and shares most of the same tools and has a similar look to photoshop. it is also probably the most popular photoshop alternative and would totally recommend it if you cant get photoshop!
[visit + download gimp here]
where do you get your pictures from
official sources such as teasers companies release, photos released by press, photos from idol’s instagram - basically photos that are made for the public to see are whats best to use for a gfx. you should download the photos straight from the source so you get it at its highest quality
some phrases you can use to search for pictures on google: - [group name] photoshoot - [idol name] press - [group name] showcase - [idol name] teaser
remember the more specific you are in your search the better! also when you search through google make sure you check your source!
avoid getting photos from reposting websites like we heart it and pinterest avoid using fansite pictures and scans unless you are granted permission
i don’t know where to start/i’m overwhelmed and i don’t know what to do/ where should i begin
figure out what you want to make or a theme you want to follow - do you want to make a simple graphic or a infographic? do you want it to center around a certain theme like a comeback or a photoshoot? once you determine what you want to do it becomes easier getting ideas and finding stuff you will need for the gfx
example thought process: “i want to make a loona graphic” → do you want it to be the whole group or a certain member or unit? will it just be a simple gfx or a AU gfx or based on a event that the group is doing? “i’ve decided on doing a kim lip one” → do you want it to have a certain theme like kim lip smiling or kim lip with blonde hair? is there a certain frame of time in which you want the graphic to represent like during eclipse era or hi high era? “i want it to be from max and match era with her teasers” → from here you can start finding pictures to use and thinking of colors and textures that would fit your theme
where do you get ideas/inspiration from
i mean it’s different for everyone but for me i literally just think of stuff and i’m like wow i want to make that happen asdfsdfj but mostly when i see pictures or watch something thats where i suddenly get a idea
but tumblr is full of graphic makers!!! ive seen so many amazing graphics from various fandoms like kpop, anime, marvel, etc.
some amazing graphic editors i know myself include: primirene, ireone, nctjaemin, celo-mar, 1hyungseo, jeongahn, haechxnie, sonxiumin, syua, lulumelody, dinomite, lovelyeo, joohys, whatchatalkabout, yveu, maerinah, mihyon, lorbits, cherryjennie, thatporcelain, monoka, ifbin, 7ww
some other places you can look at are behance (dont go on behance if you have a cracked ver of ps - it might trigger a ingenue software alert that is a huge pain to deal with), pinterest, deviantart, dribble, and probably any social media platform if you just look up #graphicdesign
remember if you take inspiration from someone’s work then you should cite them in your caption - if you are afraid that you might’ve accidentally copied someone when you were trying to take inspiration from them its best to either try to remake the gfx again or just to ask the creator permission if its fine if certain details are similar/same
my stuff sucks how do i get better
literally just keep on making stuff aka practice. you can’t improve if you don’t bother putting effort.
ways i’ve forced myself into practicing making gfxs is by: 1) starting a gfxs series - its self paced and is based on what you want to make (i.e. introducing my biases gfx series, my favorite outfits gfx series, etc) 2) taking in requests - people who would request from you probably like your stuff so its a win win situation (i.e. send me a idol + era, send me your bias + palette, send me a group and i’ll make a gfx of my fav member, etc)
tips
only sharpen your pictures after you are done resizing them, if you sharpen and then resize it might result in a more blurry or grainy picture
always save your graphic every 5-10 mins in case photoshop crashes
have two copies of your image cutout: one will be the original and the other one will be the one you edit with - in case you mess up like over erasing or over sharpening your image you have a back up you can use
stick with a color palette so you don’t get overwhelmed when having to color everything and it makes all the graphic panels you have look more cohesive
on photoshop you can favorite fonts!!! take advantage of it!!! your computer has a lot of fonts saved on it and it takes forever to look through a whole list of fonts so by favoring fonts you can see all of the fonts that you like to use for graphics
combine a png pack to one psd → when you open a png pack you will probably get a lot of png files and it gets annoying having a lot of tabs open in photoshop when most of them are just textures so by putting all of those pngs into one psd you can cut down the files you open and can easily see all of your options
make folders dedicated to colorings and textures that way you can easily access them instead of looking through your computer for a certain file
name your layers... i dont do it because its easy for me to tell what layer is what but when you are working with a lot of layers its best just to name them it’ll make life easier
lock your main image/subject so that when you play with texts’ and textures’ location you don’t accidentally move your main image
use curves to help get a photo back to its original coloring! like if you have a photo that has a weird filter on it just use curves and it’ll help the picture look more natural! [tutorial]
try warping your text to make it stand out more! you can access it by pressing the icon on the top text bar that has a T with a curved line under it. i use flag and wave the most
alter a particular color by using a selective color layer
rather than changing the actual color of an image/texture you can: create new layer → select the image/texture and color it on the new layer instead of on top of the image/texture → change the opacity or the mode of the layer so that the color is put on the image/texture while keeping its detailing and not affecting the actual image/texture
resources
colorings: can be found on deviantart or tumblr just look up ‘psd coloring’ or ‘[color] psd’
textures: can be found on deviantart (check to see if its og content or stolen) simply just search what you are trying to find or ‘png pack’ or ‘texture pack’ common textures you can try to find: vintage flowers, memphis shapes, organic shapes, doodles other wesbites: pngtree, creative market, lost and taken, spoongraphics
fonts: if you are looking for a certain font then you can just do a google search but if you are browsing then dafont and font squirrel are really good websites too some of my favorite fonts: abril fatface, agfatumc, antonellie calligraphy, arcadeclassic, bebas neue, century gothic, couture, daily news 1915, dark larch, hondurhas, kotori rose, krinkles, risingstar, sant joan despi, studly, zing rust
color palettes: i made one myself which you can find here, color hunt, and honestly a quick google search will give you tons of options
if you have any questions, other stuff you want me to cover, or want to add more resources and tips then please dm or send an ask! i hope this helps!
#i really hope this helps someone and that it makes sense#i literally woudlve been so happy if i saw this when i first started it took me so long to figure things out and im still learning#also i basically told where i got everything so like please dont take advantage of this and end up copying my gfxs... its happened to me a#lot#idk what to properly tag this alfkjasd#ps help
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Sole Ender AU Its the Little Things
It's the little things that made Ryan feel safe with the Fakes. Like how Gavin and Michael always walk on his right side, never his left, so he can always see them. It's how Geoff makes sure that any Heists outdoors are occurring when it doesnt rain. It's how Jack always has an extra umbrella or Eye Patch for him. How Jeremy and Lindsay make sure to never make direct eye contact. Jeremy looks at his mouth, Lindsay watches anywhere and everywhere else.
Those little things always made Ryan feel welcome. Even after they found out about the experiments, the Lab, the Eye. But still, something felt missing, Ryan could never put his finger on it. But he felt, lost still. He didnt realize the Emptiness was caused by something so simple until one night while playing Trivial Pursuit.
"Authors last names? Fuck that! Every last bastard whose ever written a book has a weird ass last name! They could be Hilda Sasquatch or some shit!" Jeremy shouted. Jack laughed and Gavin snorted.
"Jeremy, you wrote a book." Michael reminded him.
"Well Dooley is a funny last name!" Gavin pointed out as Jeremy growled and slapped the Brit on the back of his head.
"Yeah, like Free is any better!" Jack was losing it in the background as the Lads began to bicker and wrestle. Ryan's nose scrunched as his chest tightened and the empty feeling began again.
"What's with the face Rye?" Geoff asked breaking Ryan's stare. His left eye was covered with a glittering purple and blue eye patch Gavin had made out of his Sparkles. It was a fine gift, one that Ryan treasured.
"Its, it's nothing really." Ryan insisted a bit hesitantly. Geoff shook his head.
"Suuuuuurrrre, it's really nothing." Geoff drawled sarcastically. Ryan rolled his eye.
"Your like a security camera." Ryan muttered. "You keep digging and digging."
"Yeah that's not weird at all." Geoff sighed. "But fine, I'll stop. Just remember you Can talk to us."
"I... I know Geoff." Ryan muttered as the fight before them settled. "Just. Not now?"
Geoff nodded and they all turned back to the game. Ryan hoped that he could bury that empty feeling and never touch it again.
It was just a Last Name after all.
Turns out Ryan couldnt avoid the feeling for long. It was another game night a few weeks later. Jack and Geoff were out with Gavin, so Michael, Jeremy and Lindsay insisted Ryan joined them for Mario Party.
"Right so what's got you so fucked?" Michael asked never looking away from the mini game on the screen.
"Oh elegantly put Jones." Jeremy teased. Michael knocked into Jeremy who went tumbling away and Ryan felt the hole in his chest open again.
"I dont know what you mean." Ryan said as Lindsay pressed into him.
"Bullshit you keep wincing at random! Your eye bugging you?" Lindsay asked this time. Ryan shook his head, he felt stupid he just wanted these people to stop caring so much!
"We arent going to stop caring dipshit that isnt how this works." Jeremy said. Great, Ryan thought, he said that out loud.
"Yeah! We're a crew and shit we ain't gonna not care! Somethings bugging you and we want to help!" Lindsay declared throwing her arms around Ryan and pulling him into a hug.
Ryan tensed then mumbled.
"Sorry what was that?" Michael smirked. "Cant hear you through Lindsay dude."
"I dont have a fucking last name alright? It's a small stupid thing but it drives me nuts! I feel even less human!" Ryan shouted, pushing away from Lindsay. Michael and Lindsay began to laugh.
"Dude chill. It's just a name it doesnt mean shit!" Michael wheezed.
"Yeah dude. No need to get your panties in a twist over it." Lindsay added. Ryan growled and silently rose to his feet.
"Ryan?" Jeremy started but with a Vwoop, Ryan teleported away leaving the three others behind. In a cloud of dull sparkles.
Ryan could teleport pretty far. The farthest he ever went in one go was 20 miles. But now he didnt want to go far, just hide. And what better place to hide than one of the safe houses?
It was a small apartment closer to the suburbs of Los Santos, it was nice, if small. It was usually reserved for when someone was on a solo mission and needed to lie low, which meant that Ryan was there most. So he got to decorate.
Back at the Labs he never got to make any space his own. Everything was sterile and empty. He hated to remember the open space and clean white walls and the smell of bleach and chemicals.
Which was why this space was filled with stuff. Sure it was tidy, nothing was rotten or moldy, but Ryan used every space available. If the floor didnt have a rug there was a table or chair. If the tables didn't have Flowers, TVs, knickknacks or something on it there was usually a cup of Diet Coke. It was filled to the brim with bright plants, paintings, photos you name it.
Ryan plopped down on the couch feeling stupid. Why was he so hung up on a name? He had given himself the name Ryan sure, why not a last name?
Ryan knew why, and as that thought rose up he pushed it away. He didnt want any memories of the Labs in his head right now. Now he wanted to just sleep, he wanted to feel less... less stupid and childish.
So Ryan went off to the bedroom and buried himself deep under the covers, like he used to, and blocked out the rest of the world.
Ryan was 13 again and he sat on his cot, swinging his legs absently.
"Why dont I get one?" He heard himself ask. "Why am I only a number?"
"Names are given by family to people. You have no family and you are no longer human. You are far better than that." One of the blurred figures said. The second scoffed.
"Better? It cant even run the most basic excersise without failing ten times. Its isnt anything but a waste." Ryan couldnhear the sneer in the figure's voice as pain shot through every nerve on his body. "Failure doesnt get you a name of any kind. You are a tool, and a broken one at that. Dont forget that."
Ryan woke up with a start. Turning to the clock Ryan cursed. 3 am. He wasnt going back to sleep. Again.
Getting to his feet Ryan didnt bother to change into fresh clothes. He had slept in his jeans why not just use them again? But he grabbed a jacket and went out into the night.
Mount Chilliad loomed in the distance as Ryan walked the dark streets of Los Santos. He could have teleported where he wanted to go, or even driven. But he didnt want to. Walking felt better, it gave agency, he decided where his feet went, no one else.
"Oh Thank Fuck! I've been looking everywhere for you!" Ryan jumped, ready to fight and run from the handlers. When recognition snapped his mind from bad memories.
Standing before him was Jeremy, holding a tiny wiggling bundle of fur. A cat from what Ryan could tell. Jeremy smiled nervously, but relief was evident in the smaller man's eyes.
"Look, uh. Fuck I suck at this shit. Let's go inside yeah? We are near a place I own. Come on." Jeremy ushered Ryan towards a nearby apartment building. Ryan followed wordlessly, but obediently. At the door Jeremy hopped around a little.
"Keys, keys. Uh Hey Rye mind.holding him for a sec?" Jeremy then thrust the cat into Ryan's hands who finally got a good look at the little fur ball.
They were a tiny black kitten, fuzzy and wiggling furiously. What stood out the most was that it was missing a front leg.
The door clicked as.Ryan made eye contact with the little kitten. His chest tightened and his mind whirled as he looked into the kittens little eyes. Then it looked at Ryan's jacket and started burrowing into one of the interior pockets. Ryan felt a purr resonating out of the tiny cat from in his jacket and through his ribs. His chest began to unclench and suddenly he was.aware he was inside a studio apartment.
There were art supplies everywhere. Everything from Yarn and Knitting needles, to paints and canvases to wood sculptures, and musical instruments were strewn about. Jeremy hopped around the room over to a ragged old bed, kicking off his shoes as he went.
"Well, make yourself at home. Dont mind the mess things just get thrown around alot." Jeremy said sheepishly. Ryan picked his way through the room, his eye moving around and soaking up all the little pieces. The space felt lived in not just visited like the safe houses.
"Is this a safe house?" Ryan asked as he sat down on the bed. Jeremy shook his head.
"Nah. It's my apartment. Before I joined the Fakes I lived here. Still try to come back, sometimes you just need your own place you know?" Jeremy explained. There was a tense silence for a few minutes then Jeremy spoke.
"Michael and Lindsay were being a bitch." Ryan tensed ready to run. "No please just, hear me out?"
Ryan froze, suddenly aware he had gotten up to leave. Jeremy had his arm, and the Kitten purred even louder than before. Ryan sank back onto the bed.
"Look. I dont know what your life was like before you joined us but it obviously wasnt even a little bit good. Actually it sounds like it was fucking awful." Ryan laughed dryly.
"That's putting it lightly."
"Yeah no shit. But it's not stupid to feel shit." A pause. " If not having a Last name bugs you why dont you give yourself one?"
"Its not..."
"Not that simple yeah?" Jeremy finished Ryan nodded as the kitten crawled out on Ryan's lap.
"Alright, well. Do you think you can tell me why?" Jeremy asked. Ryan thought, eye down on the kitten as the little guy curled up on his lap without a care.
"Its not the same. It belongs to a family. I cant be a family of one." Ryan insisted and Jeremy shook his head.
"Ok two things. One. Thats a load of horseshit and who ever told you that was dumb as fuck. And two. There is more to it isnt there?" Ryan stayed silent. Running his fingers through the Kitten's fur. Jeremy began to whisper. "You're human, Rye. Just cause someone says you arent doesnt make it true. I know that one."
Ryan froze he didnt expect anyone to pick up on that. The whole Not human but was always somewhere in the back of his mind, eating at him. Jeremy wrapped himself around Ryan hugging him tightly. Ryan shook as he melted into the other man's touch, a few tears spilling out.
"You know. My family abandoned me when I was a teenager. Said I was a monster just cause I kissed both guys and girls. Not exactly dubious experiments but it is dehumanizing all the same. I kept my last name though. I did it as a big old fuck you to them. They died during one of the Fake's heists. Got to watch then burn myself. But the name never connected me to them, a name connects you to who ever you want it to." Jeremy was quiet as he spoke, his voice against Ryan's skin as he pressed into Ryan's neck.
Something was bubbling in his brain, but Ryan had no idea what it was. And right now was not the time to figure that out.
A small Meow pulled the two away from one another. The little kitten was trying to climb up Ryan's jacket between the two. As it scrambled up Jeremy laughed, and Ryan felt a chuckle escape his throat. The kitten then flung itself over Ryan's shoulder, it's one front paw kneading his shoulder blade and purring up a storm.
"I forgot this little guy was here." Jeremy said through a laugh. A pause, then Jeremy smiled softly. "Ya know, I was going to take him to the shelter. Geoff won't let me keep any animals. But I think you should take him."
"You just said-" Ryan began but Jeremy shook his head.
"I'm not allowed any animals. Geoff never said anything about you keeping a pet. And hey! Now you have another family member! You can give him a first name and a Last name of your choice!" Jeremy beamed at Ryan who smiled a little.
The sun rose as the Battle Buddies walked into the penthouse. The morning news was filling the living room, telling the story of several Petstores that had been robbed of supplies in the night.
"And what a coincidence, you both have Pet stuff." Geoff hissed as he sucked back more.coffee.
"Yeah well, Ryan's got a cat now so you gotta have toys and a litterbox to you know?" Jeremy said as he dropped a giant bag of cat food next to the kitchen Island.
"I thought I said no pets!" Geoff shouted, his voice cracking.
"Yeah but only for Jeremy." Ryan pointed out. "Abd Finnieas isnt a pet. He's family."
Geoff paused, Ryan knew the gears were turning. Geoff groaned.
"Ugh! Fine! You can keep the damn cat!" Geoff hissed. "And Finnieas? The hell kind of name is that?"
"Ih his full name is Finnieas Gavallo Haywood thank you." Ryan insisted with an air of dramatics. Jeremy giggled and kept in front of Ryan who held the kitten before him.
"A poud name Haywood! Ancient and divine! Dating all the way back to 4 hours ago!" Jeremy exclaimed. Geoff laughed.
"Alright you dolts get a move on. I'm going to text Jack and let them know you two caused the morning rukus." Geoff said. Jeremy took off down towards Ryan's room, a bag of cat toys in hand. As Ryan went to follow, Geoff got up off the couch. He placed a hand on Ryan's shoulder and gave a lop sided smile.
"Haywood's a good name. You know. I picked Ramsey myself when I built this crew. Jack took Patillo at that time to." Geoff then walked away, pulling out his cellphone and typing.
Finnieas purred as Ryan took in the unspoken message.
A name may seem like a Little Thing, but it holds importance all the same. And sometimes you need to give yourself those Little Things to heal.
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Projects
{Photographer! Peter Parker x Bigender! Artist! Reader}
Warnings: i dont know much bout the bigender community, and so i did my research. So you identify as two genders? I dont know what ‘genders’ exactly you’d want here, so i’ll put they/them pronouns if thats okay :)
Summary: ‘can i please get a bigender reader who goes to art school with peter, that has like, “god like abilities” and always compliments/draws/tells peter hes amazing. ((tag @give-you-the-sxn please?))
Ofc my beautiful valid child <3
A/N: i decided to change it up a bit and have the art class as a club after school instead. Also I hc that tom hollands peter parker is into photography. I hope you like it >///<
I listened to ‘youth’ by Shawn Mendes and Khalid while doing this.
*not edited*
“Welcome class,” the teacher greeted you all brightly, “I’m glad you could make it after school today, what with all the rain and all I assumed only two or three of you would have shown up today. Anyways, you know what to do. Best get to it.” She clapped her hands, before turning her heel and moving to write on the board, writing ‘Integrated Arts Club’ in a cursive calligraphy font. That was her contribution to the club. Calligraphy.
You sighed. This was a way for you to escape the harsh reality of the outside world. Half the students in this club were members of the community, no scratch that, the majority of students were gay. There was maybe only one or two straight people apart of this club.
You took out your paints, paintbrushes, pencils, and then got your canvas from inside the supply closet where you had left it yesterday. It was your newest project, a painting of a woman in white, with bright red lips and a black dress that blended into the black background of your canvas. You were inspired by a woman you had seen one night on the streets of Queens.
Taking a seat by yourself- taking up the whole table with your paints and brushes spread everywhere- you began painting. Everything was already finished, you just needed the details. You heard the door open and close, only choosing to look up when you finished an eyelash stroke.
“Yeah, this is where I go after school. That over there is Mia- the one spray painting the poster paper- and the dude over there with the guitar is Jay. That over there is (y/n), their bigender so I’d just use androgynous pronouns for them. Over there is Ms. Burningham, our club sponsor, and the dude in the corner is Max, he’s a comic book artist. You’d fit right in, Peter.”
The voice belonged to MJ, a close friend of yours. She often helped give you inspiration, letting you paint some of her sketches to life. You heard her walk behind you, leaning down so her hair was in your peripheral vision. You looked up, “Yo, MJ.” You smiled at her, then up at the newbie.
He was short, about an inch or so shorter than you, with brown eyes and hair. He wore a sweater over another shirt, jeans, and ha a camera in his hands. He was trembling, probably nervous.
“Hey, ahh, who’s this?” You asked MJ, who looked at Peter. She leaned back against the table, her palms getting paint on them from the splatters that had fallen off your plate of paint.
“Parker- Peter. Peter Parker. Nice to meet you.”
He went to shake your hand, you lifted yours up to show him you had gotten black and red all over them, “Sorry, dont wanna mess up your hands. That camera looks expensive.”
Peter made a small ‘oh’ noise, looking down to his small Canon camera. “Yeah, it- its almost completely brand new. I sold some of my old stuff to get it. Useless stuff, shirts and books and stuff.”
“Cool, cool. Uh, MJ, could you tell Jay to keep it down over there? Can’t hear my own thoughts over his wanna-be indie music,” you said, completely disregarding the boy in front of you now. It wasn’t that you were rude, you just wanted to get this painting finished hole everything was still wet, otherwise it would make problems later on. MJ rolled her eyes, but nodded. You flashed Peter a smile, before turning to you painting.
After about a minute of silence, you heard a gasp behind you, “Holy shit- that’s really good!” You looked up, seeing Peter next to you with his camera turned on. He blushed, “Sorry! It’s just you looked so calm and pleasing, I snapped a quick photo while you weren’t looking- sorry.”
You half-smiled, standing upright, “Thanks, and it’s okay. This class is freedom of expression. Just not expression, ‘kay? As in, no swearing,” you laughed and pointed to the lady at the front of the class, her hands busy grading the Latin worksheets. Peter nodded, surprise clear across his face, “Oh- sorry.”
“Can I see?”
“What?”
“The pictures, can I see? I mean, they're of me, right?”
“Oh- yeah! Totally!”
Peter pushed a few buttons on his camera, and he scrolled through some of the photos until he found yours. “Here-”
“Wow, i look hot!”
You moved closer to Peter to get a better look, gawking at the aesthetic that was put into one simple photo. You did look good in this photo. “Mind sending me this? Not just this, other stuff, too. I’d love to make a piece from these- oh, if that’s okay?”
“Uhh- yeah! Sure!”
***
You flopped onto the bed, curling up next to a pillow. It was cold from loneliness, making you snuggle closer to it. You looked at your nails- paint ad managed to get wedged between the nail and the skin, and no matter how hard you tried it wouldn’t wash away.
You sighed, ready to turn off the light until your phone went off. You checked it to see there was a message from MJ, asking you if it was okay to give Peter your number. You texted back, ‘Yeah. Totally.’
Three minutes later, your phone went off again and it was Peter.
Unknown
Hey (y/n) its peter
Parker
Peter parker
Um
I just wanted to know if you wanted the photos to be on a hard drive or through gmail or something?
Hello?
-11:13-
You
Yeah
I’m here hi
A hard drive would be nice thanks
-11:15-
You took a moment to change Peter’s ID to his name. About five minutes later, Peter responded with more spam
Peter
Okay cool
Yeah okay
Yeah i can do that
Sure
Yeah
Okay
Cool
-11:32-
You
Lol
Imma sleep
Night peter
-11:35-
Peter
(…)
Night
-11:45-
***
The next day, you bumped into Peter in the hallway, “Oh, hi Pete. Can I call you that?”
“Hi, (y/n)! Yeah, totally cool!”
“Cool, got the hard drive?”
“Yeah, right here,” Peter patted his jean pockets for a bit before pulling out a black and red hard drive, “It has maybe 20 or 25 pictures here. Their mostly just random pictures of places around Queens, hope that’s okay?” You nod, “Thanks Pete.”
***
That night, you went home and changed Peter’s ID to ‘Pete’. After that, you plugged the hard drive into your laptop, opening the file titled ‘images’ and scrolling through the photos. Most of them were taken at impossible angles, and you wondered how Peter was able to capture photos like them. One was at the top of a building and looking down onto a busy interstate. Another was of the stars, a bit of the background trees getting in the frame. They were beautiful. Another was of MJ, her back towards the camera, a backpack strap in her hand, looking to the left at the sky with a sunset background. You saved that image as ‘Michelle_jERKFACE.jpeg’ on your computer. The photo Peter took of you earlier was amongst them as well.
You went to bed that night with a smile on your face and ideas fresh in your mind, ready for tomorrow's Club Meeting.
***
“Hey (y/n)! Like the pictures i sent?”
“Holy Shii-shhh! Peter! That sentence can go two ways!”
“OH! Sorry...”
“Its fine, and yes I did like them. They were really good! How come you never joined before?”
“Never thought i was good enough.”
“Not good enough?! Peter, those photos are professional level photos. They are wonderful and beautiful and deserve to be in a museum.”
“Oh, wow, thanks...” peter blushed, looking own with a small smile on his face.
***
You looked at the scenery before you, trees brown and crisp from the fall air. Peter sat next to you, his camera ready to snap a picture at any moment. MJ sat opposite Peter, sketchbook in hand and sketching the trees and people. Ned was posing by a fountain as Peter playfully took photos of him. You started sketching Peter into your own book, smiling when you finished and began shading.
MJ looked over at you, “Damn, you’re gay for Peter Parker.”
You looked at MJ with a shocked expression, before looking at the sketch and at Peter, who was now out of ear shot.
“Totally,” you smiled, before both of you went back to your drawings.
***
“Peter,” you looked at him seriously from your spot on his bed, “Ever think about kissing dudes before?”
Peter blushed, “I- ah, um...” His eyes widened, before looking down shamefully, “Y-Yeah… more than a few times...”
You smiled, “Cool, so what? You’re… bi?”
“More pan, I look for personality more than gender.”
“Cool, same. I’m (sexuality).”
“Oh, cool!”
***
“Peter, where are we going?”
“Behind the school. There’s something I need to show you.”
Peter had your hand tight in his grip, pulling you through the almost empty hallways. His voice didn’t stutter, which worried you.
Finally, you made it. Peter pulled out his camera, “Stand in front of that street art Mia did yesterday.” You did just that. Peter moved your arms to move in front of your sweater, telling you to tug at it a bit and look up at the sky. He moved some hair in front of your face to cover your eyes. He knelt down, snapping the photo.
“Cool, now stay there.”
“Do you always get like this for a photo?” You asked as Peter pressed record, moving next to you, “What do you mean?”
“Nothing, um. What are you doing?”
“Its for a project. I’m gonna screenshot part of the video later. Please, this is important.”
You watched Peter as he took control of the situation, taking your (smaller/bigger) hands in is own, intertwining them as he leant up.
“Kiss me.”
You coughed, moving back. Peter moved his arms around you again, “Please?”
“Why?”
“The project- please (y/n).”
You slowly gave in, letting Peter wrap his arms around your waist as you looked down into his eyes, your hands cupping his cheeks softly. He leant up to kiss you softly. Both of you stayed there, afraid and unsure of how to move.
“I’m sorry,” Peter said after a while, moving away. You were quick to react, taking the back of his head and slamming it back onto yours.
“Mph-!”
He was taken aback by the action, soon melting and whimpering into it.
Yep, you were so gay for Peter Parker.
#marevlgbt#request#male reader#bigender reader#gender neutral reader#mlm#x reader#peter parker x male reader#peter parker x gender neutral reader#peter parker x reader#peter parker x bigender reader#lgbt#gay imagine#lgbt imagine#marvelgbt imagine#marvel imagine
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Miss. Orléans | Red Dead Redemption 2 | Part 5
@lowkeyofsassguard
Elizabeth Orléans comes from a background of unimaginable wealth from her father. Raised in the life of luxury, she adored her parents and was always a respectable little girl. However, when tragic hits and she’s wearing all black at her mother’s funeral, her life is turned upside down as her father became a drunken mess.
During one of her fathers business meetings, Elizabeth wanders in town and gets herself caught up in something dangerous. Then the infamous Dutch Van der Linde saved her and took her in. There she fell in love and only to have her heart broken.
When events and situations change, Elizabeth leaves the gang and her life as an Outlaw. Leaving only a note and a pile of cash.
John Marston x OC (implied)
Arthur Morgan x OC
Word count: 2021
Arthur had spent most of the day away from camp, wanting be alone and left to his thoughts. He wandered around the land, meeting a few strange people and helping them out. They made him do some odd things, but he met a particular person who wanted to photograph the wild and got his satchel stolen by a fox. It gave Arthur one hell of a chase, but eventually he got it back and the man was able to get the photos he wanted.
He had spent the rest of his days hunting buffalos and some deers to harvest their meat and fur. Ended up going to a trapper to sell him the fur and have him fix up some clothing attires for him. Now he was heading home to camp, wanting to get some food in his belly, maybe some whiskey before he retired for the night. When he entered the camp he noticed it was awfully louder than usual as it seemed everyone was there, laughters and singing could be heard in the night air as he got off his horse and hitched it.
Curiosity overwhelmed him as he wondered what the special occasion was. Entering the camp, his blue gaze instantly went to the campfire where majority of the people were, surrounding two familiar kids.
Jack was currently seated between James and Rosie as the young boy bonded quickly with the two older kids. Abigail was off to the side smiling brightly at the three as she and Hosea cooed at how adorable they were being. Instantly the three became quick friends as they never met kids around their age and took immediate liking to one another. Even shy and timid James opened up quickly as the twins shared their stories about growing up and all the things they would do with their mother. Rosie seemed particularly happy sharing about her experience going fishing, even if others would view it as boring.
James on the other hand talked about books he read with Elizabeth and impressed some of the people by how well he read. Mary-Beth and him were talking about different novels they read. Once you get the boy going, he's a talker, especially when they were discussing about a topic he's interested in.
Dutch was the first to notice Arthur's presence as he stayed a little way back from the group to just observe. Walking over to Arthur, Dutch placed a hand on his shoulders, "It seems these two can change the mood of the camp mighty fast," He mused, his own smile toying on his lips, "What do you plan to do Arthur?"
"What do you mean by that?" Arthur grumbled as he shoved his hands in the pockets of his coat, admittedly wary of approaching the two. He still didn't know where he stood with Elizabeth and the two kids.
"They're your kids ain't they? You plan on ever taking responsibility?"
"She dont want me Dutch, certainly don't want me around her kids," in his mind he kept beating himself up for all the stupid decisions he made, wanting to fix them, but didnt know how. Since he left the mansion yesterday, guilt has been eating away at his mind as he wanted to be there for them. How he so desperately wanted this, wanted this family now that he knew he had one.
"Don't be a fool son, Eliza is still sweet on you after all these years," Dutch boldly claimed as he offered a cigarette to Arthur, to which he took appreciatively. Though he wanted some whiskey as well.
"Please do tell me how?"
"I can see it in her eyes Arthur, now her words are harsh, but she is a mother looking out for her kids. Just take a look at James name, his middle name is Arthur. If that doesn't tell you anything son, then you really do just know how to shoot."
Dutch left him after that to think over what he said. Was Elizabeth still sweet on him or was Dutch just being Dutch? It has to mean something that Elizabeth gave James his name as well, even if it is just something tiny. Groaning, Arthur walked over to where the whiskey was and grabbed himself a bottle before finding a comfortable spot near another fire camp nearby, not wanting to be around the gang right now. Though he wanted to spend some time with the twins, but he supposed he'll wait for his turn.
However, while Arthur was drinking his sorrow away, a certain somebody managed to sneak up from behind him, though not intentionally, when James stepped on a branch and it snapped, Arthur turned around quicker than an Arabian horse trying to knock you down. Surprised by the man's sudden action, James stayed still, blue eyes wide like saucers as he timidly waved at Arthur. The older man realised who it was and mentally cursed himself for spooking the boy, but covered it up with a cough, "Nice to meet you again James. How you liking the camp?"
James recovered from his initial shock and sat on the makeshift chair in front of Arthur, placing his hands on his knees as he rubbed it, "Everyone seems nice and most have been friendly, but I don't really like a big group like that. Rosie fits right in though," He muttered, but Arthur heard him. Heard how tired he sounded.
Chuckling, Arthur put down the whiskey bottle as he stretched his back slightly, "Well that's the gang alright. Like family, but they can get real annoying sometimes."
"Not Mama and Rosie, i'm never annoyed of them," James stated, as if trying to defend his small family. Even with him being all shy, he was the only boy in their family and he needed to protect them. After all, he was raised without a father, but Elizabeth tried to fill both roles.
"It's hard to stay annoyed with Eliza, she has this charm to her," Arthur spoke before he could think.
"Did you know Mama?" James asked, completely unaware about their relationship.
Arthur chuckled lightly at the irony of his question as he couldn't help but feel bitter. He so desperately want to claim to be James and Rosie's father, and the only thing stopping him was his insecurities and Eliza, "Knew for awhile, then she left and I haven't seen her in awhile till yesterday," the Outlaw replied vaguely, not knowing if Eliza would appreciate him telling her son about her Outlaw days. The two of them did bad things, but Eliza escaped before she can do anymore bad things.
James nodded, not saying anything for a minute as he gathered his thoughts. His mother's past was always a mystery to him as she would simply say that the past is the past and shouldn't worry about it. His mother also never talked about his father all too often and if she did it would be quick and short answers, "Mama always said my Pa was a good man, but just did bad and stupid things. Rosie and I sometimes wonder if our Pa loved us, but Mama said she was the one who left him."
Words got stuck in Arthur's throat as he stared at the glum look that adorned the younger boys face, he couldn't help but feel like he was responsible for it. However, a small chance of hope lit up within him as Eliza thought he was a good man. Maybe she was just saying it so the kids don't think their father was this horrible guy, but it still made him feel giddy inside. Elizabeth was trying to paint him in a good picture, "Let me tell you this James, whoever your father is, he deeply cares for you and your sister."
"You really think so Sir?"
"He's be a damn right fool is he dont," it was taking everything in him to not up right and say he was their father. He could easily say it, show him a picture of when Eliza and him were together, but Elizabeth would most likely bring a pack of wolves down on him. Plus, he had no right to, Eliza's been the one raising these kids.
"What was Mama like before she had us?" This was the young boys chance to learn more about his Mother.
Taking off his hat, Arthur ran his hands through his grimy and oily hair, he made a mental note to go into Valentines and have a bath before he meets Eliza again, "Your mother was a lot like you I guess. Prefers small crowds and don't really like meeting new people. She was a hell of a fisher, caught a fish half the size of her once. I remember she likes reading as well," There was more he could have said, but he'd rather not tell James that his mother was the sharpest shooter out there and was one hell of a robber if she wanted to be.
"Do you like reading Sir?"
"Not really, I write in my journal sometimes. Your mother was the one who bought me one and got me into writing," Eliza didn't appreciate it whenever Arthur would silently fume in anger and would occasionally snap at her or ignore her. So she got Arthur the journal a long time ago as some therapeutic thing he could do whenever he was bothered. Of course she was still with John at the time. The first couple of pages he wrote was about his jealousy towards the male and his desire to be with Eliza.
That was something he did not want anyone to read.
"Mama writes in journals a lot to!" James said excitedly as he glum expression brightened up, "She always rights in it everyday and had over a dozen of them journals. Though Mama won't ever let me or Rosy read it. Said it was personal."
*****
What in the world did I just do? I allowed Rosie and James to go with Hosea to wherever the camp was. Hosea said it was near Valentines, and that's so far away. I'm terrified for them, the world is such a cruel and unfair place, but I trust Hosea to keep them safe. Plus, Arthur knows he's the father to them so I only pray if any danger comes to them he'll protect them. It's unfair of me to think like that, after all I basically told Arthur that I didn't want him involved with them.
However, as each days past, the kids grow more curious of their father and with that curiosity they want to know who he is. I can only make so much excuses before they get angry at me and demand for real answers.
Maybe Arthur will say something to them during their stay there? Maybe he'll tell them he's their father, and I don't know if I'll be angry, happy or I just don't know. Since they were born I always thought of the possibility of the four of us being a happy family, but then I am thrown back to reality whenever their actions are the talk of the town. Is it selfish of me to want Arthur to change? Is it wrong of me to want him to leave the gang and be with the three of us? The world is so dangerous for Outlaws and I don't want my kids to be live that life.
Guess I aint doing a good job, about to invite a bunch of them to live with us. I use to think I was doing the right thing, that I was raising them right, but as I grow older and so does my kids, I keep questioning if I ever did the right thing. Maybe if I didn't let my selfishness get in the way, my kids could have grown up with a father. It would have been embarrassing to stick around, and only have Arthur be with me just cause of the kids. But, if it meant my kids would have been happy, I would happily do anything to embarrass myself.
#rdr2#red dead redemption#red dead redemption 2#red dead redemption imagine#arthur morgan#gamer#gaming#john marston#cowboy#red dead redemption 2 imagine#arthur morgan x reader#john x abigail#abigail marston#arthur morgan x oc#arthur morgan imagine#dutch van der linde#red dead redemption spoilers#love story#western love#weatern#beechers hope#hosea matthews
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So, I missed my own graduation today. I think the people around me are more distraught than I am and that makes me feel ashamed in return.
Which makes it hard to calm the people around me because they are expecting me to be sad but I dont really care? Which makes said people even more frustrated with me. I feel irresponsible (which, fair, honestly).
Oh fuck, what do I do?
It was just a little ceremony anyway. We did rehersals, it wasnt a big event. They played over the top battle music in the background and all... gave us fake diplomas... all that corny stuff.
I didnt feel engaged with it or excited about it. Didnt really have a big connection to school you know? Nor had friends I truly care about. Didnt study my ass off whole year so no relief too. But there is no regret either. I just feel...indifferent.
School, friends and graduating wasnt what I cared about this year. But those are the things people expect me to care about so I dont know how to tell them I dont feel anything for an event they all have been anticipating, preparing for. Something that means a lot to them but not a lot to me.
That disconnect between the people around me makes feelings and converstations hard to navigate through and sort out. And was what caused me to miss my own graduation in the first place.
Not listening to the converstations around me, not understanding exactly when it will happen, not caring enough to ask.
"Well, I would understand when it will happen by paying attention to the social cues around me."
They say, not paying attention to the social cues around them.
I guess there are more downsides to being a bit too intreverted than mostly being bored in public spaces. Being out of the loop because information is gained and circulated in friend groups seems to be one of them.
Anyway, I almost finished my new painting while my classmates threw rectangular hats in the air. I guess it would've been fun to do but I enjoyed painting a lot so this day wasn't really a waste in my eyes. Buuuuut I have some explaining to do to my mother. Pray for me.
I have the special clothes and hat with me so I can still actually have a graduation photo. Preferably with said painting so people can see my day wasnt empty at all.
Yeah, I can do that.
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