#donnynovabandheadcanons

[retvenkos]

“one day you will land on boardwalk and know the true meaning of loss.”

OKAY, BUT THE DONNY NOVA BAND PLAYING MONOPOLY WOULD HAVE TO INCLUDE...

they start off the game with wayne being the banker

because he’s so meticulous, there’s no way he can screw up and give someone more money on accident *cough cough* davy *cough cough*

and donny originally has jimmy read the rules and sot of be the keeper of those, but then he realizes half way in that jimmy has been playing everyone and somehow has been getting out of jail early

no one has played in a long while, and no one expected the lawyer to finesse the system

“i knew i had too much faith in the judicial system.” (nick, probably)

so julia read through the rules and now she calls out donny when he does something “illegal” and he hates having ever mentioned the rules

“why don’t we just play without them?” (johnny)

and everyone sort of turns to him because they forgot he was still playing

johnny was banking on this and has created an empire that no one can topple

donny exclusively buys the blue and red properties and spends all of his money on putting up a crazy amount of hotels

when he lands on one of the railroads (that belongs to julia) he goes bankrupt and has to start selling things

it all goes downhill from there

and donny looks at julia and asks for a pardon but she just smiles and says it’s not a part of the  r u l e s

but let’s look at the board real quick, because here’s the facts

julia has the railroads and the browns (or purple, depending on your version) and a few other places like connecticut avenue (light blue) and st. james place (orange)

nick keeps trying to pay her off for those properties so he can start building houses, but julia refuses to sell

jimmy has all of the pinks and the utilities and he is just trying to save up enough money so that he can make it past donny’s blockade at the final stretch of the board

he has landed on it 3 times now and is debating on whether or not he should get a loan from johnny or not

johnny wouldn’t swindle him, right?

davy was a serious player for the first 20 minutes, but then he hit free parking and hasn’t cared since

he own no properties because he sold park place to donny, one of the railroads to julia, and the rest of his cards (including his get out of jail free card) to johnny

wayne was playing initially, but after getting in a fight with nick over whether or not a community chest card applied to him, he has folded and become just the banker

he mostly just watches the events play out and makes snide comments

nick is slowly dying because everyone is building hotels and julia has him hostage since she has the final light blue and the final orange.

he has gone to jail for the past four times around the board, and even though he has a get out of jail free card, he stays there because it’s safest there

and now we move on to our king™ johnny he has all the yellows and all the greens, and he has a huge stack of money that he keeps hidden in his pocket.

donny keeps selling hotels to jonny instead of the bank (which infuriates wayne because that’s not how it’s supposed to work) and that is the only way that johnny has ever put hotels on the board

he also keeps forgetting to check the board when people roll, so nick has landed on his properties like twelve times but has only paid seven times, and twice because julia called him out on it

julia is on johnny’s team because she knows she can’t win, but really wants to take down donny.

after two hours, donny is hanging on by a thread

he keeps getting chance and community chest cards that give him like $200 dollars or advance him to go, and it’s the only way he has stayed alive

julia lands on boardwalk shortly after and donny is happy and takes her for everything she has

which isn’t a lot, because she has been in debt to johnny this entire time

donny is absolutely  c r y i n g  because she gives him like a hundred dollars and st. james place (orange) and asks hm to not sell it to nick, no matter what

“what the hell did i ever do to you?” (nick, probably)

wayne has definitely left the chat™ and there was an argument over who the banker was going to be

it couldn’t be donny because he would cheat

johnny is the best with numbers, but they are also 92% sure he is the reason why there is like, only one (1) $100 bill in the bank

“jimmy is a swindler!” (davy, who is most definitely drunk)

and so julia who thought she was free is now the banker

at two and a half hours, nick folds after he lands on a chance card that has him give 80% of his total worth to free parking

“i’m not doing the math.” and the throws all of his stuff to the middle of the board

so now it’s a race to free parking and donny gets stuck in jail :(

johnny gets there first

remember the empire i mentioned? yeah, johnny now has it

he has the browns (or purple), the light blues, the oranges (bar one card - st. james place), the yellows, the greens, the railroads and all of nick’s money

which was like $321 dollars, tbh

he also has 3 get out of jail free cards

jimmy is about to sob and donny looks at the board and says “nope” and gives all of his money and cards to jimmy

jimmy now has the reds, the pinks, the blues, the utilites, and st. james place

no one really knows what happens after that, because neither jimmy nor johnny ever speak about it

julia claims that johnny won because he had the board from the beginning

donny disagrees because he says johnny is nice enough to give jimmy an infinite amount of loans (he is now the banker) so that the game never really ended

neither of them know because they were making out in the other room

but after that, jimmy claimed he was a “god fearing man” and would never play monopoly again

and johnny suggested it every saturday after practice

AND FLUFF ENSUES.