#don't worry i constantly make him go through the horrors so he's not 1:1 just me if I was in stardew

[spaghoffee]

Finally, meet my Stardew OC, Kyle!

I've also made some more portraits and a wholeass sprite sheet with seasonal outfits and costumes for him, but I'll post those separately! ^^ I've been going insane over him for the past week lol, I wish I could actually mod him into the game ugh

vV Tons More Info About Him Below!!! Vv

-Born and raised in Pelican Town, his café used to be his parents' bed and breakfast. At age 6, his family moved to Zuzu City for several years to give him a proper education, but they kept ownership of the building. After graduating college where he majored in Business Management to follow in his parents' footsteps, Kyle had the old and unused bed and breakfast renovated into his very own Kreamy Kafé, with the help of his parents' good friend Robin, of course! She already started working on the building while he was on his last year of college, so when he moved back in on that winter day it was mostly just to unpack his personal belongings, and he quickly got to work in less than a week!

-The reason why he started a café business instead of just reviving the bed and breakfast is because he's actually autistic and coffee is his special interest! He loves everything about it, from the sprouting seeds to an intricately decorated cup full of the delectable liquid. His café has a mini greenhouse attached to it on the side, where he grows his own coffee beans!

-Despite being transmasc, he doesn't want to have to present as hyper masculine for his identity to be respected. He's quite comfortable with his femininity and his body, and he quite frankly just wishes the world around him would change instead to just accept that yeah this feminine short dude is just another guy .👍👍👍 Which is why he feels closer to the rest of Pelican Town (who welcomed him with open arms) than his own parents, which he never actually came out to because of the mildly transphobic remarks they've made about other trans people when he was growing up, and he decided to not trust them with that information about himself. He'd rather be misgendered by them than disowned, as he is still reliant on them at times.

-Bisexual, falls for people easily but just as quickly makes negative hypothetical situations in his head with that person to kill off those feelings asap 😁👍 that did not work completely when it came to Victor lmao! Loser!!!

-He has a custom latté called Kyle's Special (because he isn't very creative lol) and it gives you +3 speed instead of the +1 regular coffee and triple shot espressos give! The downside (to balance it out) is that it does -30 health and the speed buff only lasts for a mere 30 seconds before your player experiences a sugar crash XP He likes his coffee sweet unfortunately!

-Harvey hates that coffee because it is literally a health hazard, thus they have awkward tension lol

-He's coded as half Filipino, half Italian! Honestly I just got his surname from the dude who invented espressos, Luigi Bezzera, and I took a z out cause that made it look more like a Filo surname LMAO, but after some thinking I gave up and made him half Italian anyway. My poor son is wasian now by an impulsive decision SDKJKSDD

I could add soooo much more info but I'll leave it at that for now ^^ You'll get to know him more in sooner posts!

[platonic-pals-punchout]

Round 1 part 1: Lego Monkie Kid (multi-media) / Ace Attorney (video game series & anime)

Qi Xiaotian "MK" & Long Xiaojiao "Mei":

1. Mei and MK are two kick ass heroes who have been best friends for years. They freely express their (platonic) love for each other a lot, they hang out all the time, they support each other in any way they can, they fight as a unit. They can take on anything together, whether it's their favorite arcade fighting game, or a demon show is determined to erase their world. 2. they're just so fucking good man, Mei gets basically a doomsday magic sealed into her body and nearly gets torn to shreds over it and MK braves the magical world-burning fire to hug her and calm her down and it instantly does just that enough to get some level of control over the the doomsday magic. also they're chaotic besties, not a single braincell between them, just lots of schenanigans.

Maya Fey & Phoenix Wright:

1. Quite frankly I don't think they will win. They are constantly being tormented and experiencing the horrors and this poll would be no different. 2. they literally cannot die no matter what hell canon puts them through. fall off that bridge n cliff to a deathly boy! get kidnapped like 4 times girl! when she gets kidnapped like the first time, they had to make a new sprite for Phoenix coz he didn't look devasted and depressed enough. Power of friendship though! and she is OKI! :) 3. The most iconic attorney and assistant pair in the series. Phoenix canonically ran onto a burning bridge to try to save Maya when she was in danger. His call with her got cut off once and he left the country to go make sure she was safe. She's been kidnapped twice to be used as leverage against him and both times she was more worried about him than herself. She once jumped in front of a taser to try to protect him. He's also defended her from murder accusations like four times. Their relationship defines the original game trilogy even more than the Wright-Edgeworth relationship does. Other Ace Attorney games wish they could replicate this dynamic. They got added to a fighting game as a single unit where they work together to fight. They both think they're the reasonable one in this friendship, despite neither of them actually deserving that title.

[my-cursed-brain]

Story time of one of my favorites events to ever happen to me:

Some background for this is that I've been constantly consuming horror media since I was 11. I absolutely lived and breathed classic creepypastas and The Walking Dead back then, but even before that I was reading Poe's writing as bedtime stories. The family members that I spent the most time around then completely banned horror stuff so it was a very rare treat for me. One time those family members let me go through a haunted house attraction when I was little, but I had to be escorted out through an employee exit very shortly after it started because I was an absolute mess.

But years of constant horror media once I had easy access to it absolutely changed that. Horror doesn't have much of an effect on me anymore, and I can be super critical because I can be easily bored by movies that don't meet my standards.

Now that brings me to the actual story. Almost two years ago, I went to a local horror attraction with 5 of my friends. This particular attraction was extra banned and deemed "evil and satanic" by the previously mentioned family members, but I don't have much contact with them anymore so I was easily allowed to go, especially since it was a special trip. A funny part of this story is that all 6 of us were speech and debate kids, specifically 1 freshman, 2 juniors (one of which was me), and 3 seniors. That'll come up later.

So when our group finally starts to go through part 1 of the attraction, I can't stop laughing because I'm excited. But I can't make myself stop. So imagine a group of teens walking in a line through this place and being fairly scared, except for one in the middle who is laughing like a madman. In between laughing fits, I'm not flinching at any scares and I'm complimenting every actor that I see. My favorite of which was when we passed a lady dressed as a clown hanging upside down from a stair banister who touched some peoples' hair a little. Except for me, she completely ran her hands through my hair and I just laughed and complimented her as well.

Another great part was the end of part 1. By then, one person was escorted out because they couldn't really take it. But I'd say that the freshman was the most scared. At some point towards the end, they ended up grabbing my hand since I was clearly having the time of my life, and then someone else grabbed both of our hands. So now there's two walking in front and three people walking in a triangle behind them because they're holding on to me. Then because we were all forensics kids, the freshman starts singing show tunes. It might have been something from Heathers, but I'm not sure. And then I see an actor sneaking up behind him.

He yells something to the effect of "HEY! Do you hear that? . . . That's my music. Maybe try listening to that instead of your own . . ." The freshman definitely shuts up and I lose it even more. The same actor asks if we're theater kids, and of course I have to reply "We're in speech and debate! :D"

After that, the two most scared people didn't want to go through part 2 and the eldest of us stayed to watch them, so only me and two seniors go through the other part. Nothing much to say about that bit other than it was a lot of hallways filled with smoke, so we had to walk holding onto one another so we didn't lose someone. Overall an amazing experience, and I lost my voice for two days because I was laughing for a solid two hours and probably worried some employees.

[liminalitycarb]

Xenoblade 2 - Final Chapter (Part 5) - And thus, boy met girl.

And thus, everyone returns in... spotlight form...

...Rex is still stuck in his nightmare isn't he?

Oh, it seems we are out of the horror! It was just the Architect trying to peer into everyone's soul. That little rascal!

And thus the Architect informs everyone that he's been spying on them all, INCLUDING THEIR OWN PERSONAL THOUGHTS IT SEEMS! ...Klaus had no respect for privacy did he?

So it seems everyone had a different set of visions, but they all shared the same thread of being fears that they harbor. But he wanted to see in order to tell how humanity has changed over the years, and get a feel for their current direction as a species.

Klaus... I hate to tell you but a sample size of 3 humans, 1 Noppon, a Flesh Eater, and a bunch of blades is NOT a statistically significant sample size...

OH BOY! EXPOSITION TIME EVERYONE! Klaus is going to give us his memories, and the memories of the planet. Little did I know he could communicate with the Life stream.

So summary of the past - The word was stuck in a struggle for survival WORSE than what Alrest is experiencing now. Klaus saw it as unseemly, but he did recognize the glimpses of beauty (unlike some pope who SHALL NOT BE NAMED.... and not because I'm blanking on his actual name...)

"Humanity harbors desires, and struggles to realize them. This is the natural state of man" says Klaus. Right before saying "I thought that was stupid so I tried to rewrite THE UNIVERSE!"

Ah yes... the Zohar... I mean Conduit... the biggest plot-driver of the Xeno games. I think in Saga it was basically an energy source that connected to a higher plane of existance, that they used to then create the universe wide INTERNET! (which... caused ghosts to appear...) And now it gave someone the power to open gates TO THE MULTIVERSE...

APPARENTLY almost everyone else who used to LIVE ON EARTH got shunted against their wills into alternate universe BECAUSE KLAUS HAD TO MESS WITH THE FREAKING ZOHAR THAT HE DIDN'T UNDERSTAND.

This is why you don't mess with alien/divine artifacts that magically appear in front of you without KNOWING WHAT IT DOES.

Oh.... so THAT is how Klaus exists as both the Architect and as Zanza... he is LITERALLY stuck half way between two universes....

At least he got to feel eternal agony for his part in breaking all reality?

Huh... so apparently timeline wise Xenoblade 1 and 2 must take place at about the same real time if he can tell that Zanza is about to die.

Well, at least you accept this for what it is Klaus. You recognize you fucked up, and you have accepted your punishment for that.

Oh, more lore! Apparently Klaus didn't just accept his punishment. He sought out redemption by trying to restore the world. And now we learn that the Cloud Sea is A MUCH MORE TERRIFYING THING THAN I THOUGHT...

It's a sea of nanomachines that apparently tries to eat old matter to turn it into new matter...

... okay... I guess people calling him the Architect and their effective Creator God was... not farfetched at all since he APPARENTLY DID CREATE LIFE...

Apparently all the core crystals are miniature vessels with the memories of the previous inhabitants of the planet. Though... how did you get those memories if they were sent to other universes Klaus? HOW DID YOU GET THEM!?

So when a core crystal mixes with the cloud sea, you get new life apparently.

And thus Klaus seeded the planet with life, and just waited for evolution to do its thing.

I mean.. If you're worried about humanity repeating their mistakes... you could... I don't know? GUIDE THEM? LIKE YOU WOULD A CHILD!? This is why you teach the young Klaus. So they can learn from your mistakes and your successes without needing to go through the pain of it all themselves constantly... and so you can TRY TO AVOID THEM FROM MAKING THE SAME BAD MISTAKES YOU DID.

Oh.. he's mostly worried if someone like him (dumb, foolhardy, but also intelligent enough to actually break everything) appeared. Okay.. that might be harder to stop. But apparently his answer was to create the Blades.

I guess... to try and kill his doppelganger if they ever appeared?

Oh hey, apparently there are supposed to be 3 ZOHAR BLADES. But one of them just happened to disappear because of a "Space-Time Transition Event"...

Klaus... did you just throw it into the conduit one day because you were bored and wanted to see what happened? You can tell us.

Oh goody, apparently Pyra and Malos were in charge of managing every other blade in existence!

And... apparently every blade is constantly sending data to the two of them... How are they both so stable if they are CONSTANTLY getting data of basically EVERYTHING every other blade is experiencing all the time?

Oh, this is apparently a bi-directional data connection. Pneuma and Logos get the "what's the current status" data, and they send back new info to try and help the blades change over time to meet the needs of the new humanity. That.. is weird but I guess a way to try to automate your "guidance" of everyone.

Oh.... oh not EVERYONE was shunted into other universes... those that survived other than Klaus were... turned into those monsters we say in Morytha..

It seems they used the original version of the core crystals to try to achieve immortality.. As they... were supposed to replace your brain cells? I don't get how that is supposed to work... But hey! Klaus took it and repurposed old tech for a new, probably more useful function. (though possibly just as ethically gray)

And there is EVEN MORE EXPOSITION. But that has to be for the next part because I'm at the image limit.

[rosa-rubiginosa]

I pretty vividly remember going through his story quest and my thought process was basically -> this lie is very funny and ridiculous -> actually, this is a classic older brother lie, maybe a bit extreme, but this is Childe -> wait. I can buy Childe telling Teucer this, based on respective ages, but don't they have other siblings who would immediately snitch. Why aren't they? -> WHAT ABOUT THEIR PARENTS! Are they going along with this? Why?

This fucking consumed me. I have two siblings - and older brother (not on tumblr) and my twin sister (@eclipsearising) - and if my brother lied to me about his job, and my sister knew he was lying, she would snitch SO FAST. Like, even as twins who are basically always on the others side, if one of us got in trouble or did something dumb, and our parents asked the other what happened, we would tell them. And of one of us was lying to the others about something as big as WHAT THEIR JOB IS, our parents would not fucking encourage it. Especially if it was as extreme as this.

The hypothesis I've come to about why this lie is still ongoing is: Childe's parents don't want Teucer to know what his job is (or even that he's Fatui for some reason? Like Tonia knows that Childe is a Harbinger, and Anton seem to know about the Fatui but not Teucer?) but didn't come up with something to tell Teucer. Then Childe came up with the Toy Seller lie, and his parents jumped on that. Without even considering how damaging it would be when Teucer found out. And Teucer seems pretty close to being able to figure it out! He's able to stow away on a ship going from Snezhnaya to Liyue, if he's able to do that then pretty soon his family won't be able to control the information flow.

This just occured to me: the rest of fucking Morepesok also seems to be going along with this, or at least not contradicting it. Holy shit. This may be partially because they're worried that, if Childe knows they told Teucer, there may be a repeat of Ajax at 14, but Worse, but this is fucking wild. (Though maybe Teucer wouldn't listen)

My opinions on Childe's parents are, as you can probably guess, pretty negative. Obviously, the Ajax abyss situation was awful for everyone involved (your child was missing for three days and, when found, seems to have has a complete personality transplant and turned into a horror movie monster; meanwhile Ajax is separated from Skirk, possibly having culture shock, and is unrecognizable to his family), and there probably wasn't a good answer to that problem (though enlisting a 14 year old into the military is... a choice. Obviously Childe thrived, but what if he didn't?). But the Teucer thing? This is an incredibly fucked up thing to do to a child. Like, when my mother was in middle/high school my grandmother would regularly drag her with her to basically stalk my grandmother's boyfriend/husband to see if he was cheating. But at least Mom didn't have her entire fucking family lying to her about this shit! She knew what was going on. (Obviously this is not a 1:1 comparison, a sibling lying about their job is generally way more benign than a lot of what Momo did to my mom. Mom was very much treated as the Eldest Daughter TM) Teucer is going to have some extreme trust issues later on. The people you are supposed to trust the most (parents) have been constantly lying to him. And he's young enough that he won't see any nuance in this situation. EVERYONE will be at fault. Even Anton and Tonia.

Also, the Mr. Cyclops sub-lie/ancillary-lie makes this EVEN WORSE. I sort of give Childe a little bit of a pass here because the abyss completely warped his sense of what is a threat or not, acceptable danger for kids, and what kind of toys kids even like. I think the Mr; Cyclops lie was ALSO came up with when Childe was a teenager, because he now seems well aware of how fucking stupid it is. He's still encouraging it, but I doubt Mr. Cyclops was recent. I wonder if its related to the Toy Seller lie. Maybe he dragged a ruin guard back home for some reason (trying to get praise? show off? who knows) and then had to lie about what it was to Teucer. I can't imagine why he'd come up with this unless Teucer somehow saw a ruin guard.

But their parents have done nothing to correct the assumption that ruin guards are safe! They are actively putting him in danger! This will make it EVEN WORSE for Teucer when he learns this little fact, because now his family has 1. collectively lied about what his brother does and 2. reinforced this lie by telling him that incredibly dangerous robots are completely safe. Teucer could reasonably come to the conclusion that his family was trying to get him killed. I would not blame him if, when he gets older, he just completely cuts contact with his family. The only ones I can imagine him staying in contact with are Anton and Tonia, and maybe possibly Childe (sort of unlikely, but he doesn't see Childe that often, so maybe he'll be more forgiving. There's still the ruin guard thing, that will definitely not help).

Honestly, the Toy Seller lie is bad, but the Mr. Cyclops one is quite possibly the worst thing you could lie to a child about. He is basically being told it's totally safe to point a loaded gun at your head. The only reason he came out fine in the story quest is pure luck at first, and then Childe overusing Foul Legacy. If things didn't go exactly right, Teucer could have died! Their parents encouraging the Toy Seller lie has some sort of reasonable logic behind it, but the Mr. Cyclops lie has none. They are actively putting their child in extreme danger for... shits and giggles? so he doesn't find out what Childe does? You'd think that they'd prefer the risk of Teucer finding out over Teucer fucking dying. But apparently not! No amount of Ajax post-abyss-related trauma can excuse that.

I do not like their parents, if you haven't noticed by now.

spicy take incoming but i kinda wish ppl werent so desperately attached to and protective of this moniker of Great Big Brother 100% Perfect So True And Real when it comes to childe bc honestly. he really isnt (perfect or even that good at times) and to me acknowledging the ways both he and his family (for enabling him) are in some ways kinda just. doing teucer incredibly dirty in the long term but only with the best of intentions in the short term is so much more interesting than just pretending hes a flawless brother?? like it only adds to the drama and irony of it all man like theyre rly so dysfunctional as a family unit its great. even if hoyos likely never exploring that shit in its true depth it still lives rent free in my head for sure lol

like. you rly dont have to turn ajax into some sort of unfeeling uncaring monster of a shit brother to acknowledge that he does, in fact, repeatedly make incredibly reckless and selfish choices during his SQ with teucer and in general by choosing to obstruct the truth of who he is from lil bro so completely?

like this stuff can be nuanced and coexist with his absolutely 100% genuine commitment to protecting teucers bubble of a worldview (and w the theme of childlike dreams and wishes being so prevalent in general who knows what could be cooking w that one in particular) and his loyalty and love for his family without just having to whitewash the dumb shit he does lmao

like just bc hes capable of and willing to face the potentially grave repercussions of absolute bangers (🙄🙄) like teaching an actual fucking child to consider ruin machines fun besties and 100% insta ready to fuck himself up by protecting teucer at the cost of aggravating his still-unhealed injuries from the liyue AQ when dottores abandoned lab turns out to be more lively than expected doesnt. make that choice not a very irresponsible one yall im begging 💀

like. hes the adult here . the entire situation unfolding as dangerously as it does in the factory is Absolutely all on HIM for not being able and/or willing to disappoint teucer by just . Doing the mature thing and sending him away to safety because HES gotten too attached to this idea of being his lil siblings' loyal knight and perfect brother that Always finds a way to surpass the expectations no matter the cost its a role HE wants to keep playing despite the risk

like its So obviously a pride thing for him too and thats so fucking interesting because Of how flawed and questionable the logic is!! like yes he truly cares about teucer and ensuring he has a great unforgettable time during this impromptu escapade in liyue like thats not up to debate but the point im trying to make is that the choices he makes are Still very much intertwined with his ego and overconfidence and not really based all that much on Whats Actually The Best Approach Here. he improvises a way to give teucer the best mr cyclops outing he has ever seen bc HE wants to be the one offering him that experience and ends up biting off a bit more than he can chew and he can only blame himself for that one and This Isnt Fucking Sustainable

like i dont think that makes him evil but i do think it showcases his arrogance and flaws in a very concrete way and is a part of why calling him a perfect brother or at least one without an asterix just. rubs me off wrong lmao

like idk feel free to keep calling him that if its important to u and all if u want idc (and i do to some extent get why this defensive narrative of insisting hes great no issues at all emerged bc i remember 1.1 some ppl acting like hes childcare satan for how he treats teucer lol) but. at least like . Be willing to chip in to fund the therapy teucers going to need for those lifelong trust issues in the future man 💀

Bc Thats The Other Thing. now tonia and anthon i dont consider a part of this bc at least they Know hes in the fatui and hiding the gory details of ur harbinger job from ur baby sibs is like. fair enough and reasonable. but. crafting an Entire different AU version of yourself and feeding it to your baby brother as what constitutes actual reality surely is a choice of all times like ajax ily but genuinely . What the fuck if you were real id throttle you

AND HIS FAMILY ENABLING IT THE ENTIRE TIME ITS CRAZY LIKE. As a person with multiple siblings both older n younger with some similar age gap cohorts involved. God id snitch so fucking fast i dont think ppl rly stop and think much abt how objectively horrifying this shit is from teucers long term pov 😭 in the best way obviously given its fiction like its so scrumptiously awful and dysfunctional .

(& just in general man im just so obsessed with the way ajax 14 basically broke the eggshell of his past life and emerged to rise towards his destiny drowned in the guts and gore of the place and people and community he once called home unconditionally. Bro he fucked that town UP and now his family relations will never ever be the same its so fucking Delicious. those 3 days missing and what followed are just Actually a literal fucking horror movie when you stop blindly stanning our ginger menace, forget ajax' side and take the pov of his family and morepesok in general Why Are People Not Talking About This)

like. its not that i dont understand Why this is sth childe ended up doing as i said Thats The Point. its human. teucer is the only one in the family who wasnt there during that fateful 3 days/months . Like yea anthon and tonia were prolly sheltered from most of the carnage back then too but they still Know where he was sent when he became literally uncontrollable and almost killed the neighbors (everybody & their mom loves demonizing his parents as if his demon spawn ass left them a fucking choice JFEJSJSJSKDKS) . like its at least Known.

but then theres teucer.

And like. teucers the Only one with whom ajax can even pretend to have that delusion (ha) of normalcy and a family that hasnt seen him gaze into the abyss and stare back bloodied and grinning ear to ear . like. hes the only shot childe can have at even playacting some crude imitation of normalcy before Everything and even That comes with an expiration date hes fully aware of. so theres just lies after lies after lies and the fact that even his family just. if not actively partaking in the charade then at least silently allows the entirety of it to happen to teucer whos the Only fucking one out of the loop is just..... dude its not fair on him At All

Misleading teucer THIS much is just. its fucking horrible man but i GET it. thats why its so delicious man i GET it but god its just . imagine being teucer in this situation.... thats his entire fucking World shattered once the truth comes out. Everyone close to him has been lying to him his entire time. They all knew and they let him be misled. Like sure he might be happier Now with ajax dutifully protecting that childhood dream of his but after that. Just. sit on this for a bit. after everything do we Really think teucers just going to understand why it came to be and see it as worth it???? Will he really????

yet at the same time as awfully cruel it all is its just So human!!!!! Its so human of both ajax and his family to use the innocence of the only child that was spared the aftermath of worlds best/worst 3 month abyss training camp to indulge in this flawed false reality where their third son didnt walk into the void and come back hungry for More until only the fatui could take him and even then it only spurred him on further on that path. Like its all an act and a lie and its just. Not fucking fair on teucer but hes still doing it and theyre letting him even tho they Know it wont last theyre all looking teucer in the eye every day and letting him believe like man....

like in both the entire ruin factory sequence And in general hiding the truth from teucer as extensively as childe does hes being incredibly selfish but at the same time its selfishness only rly in the way all people are when it comes to Wanting to be seen a certain way by the ones they love and care about. and thats what makes it so interesting. bc as much as the choices he makes are dubious (or like. this decision makes sense to him. a morally bisexual total omnivore ethics-wise narwhalpilled since 14 who sees exclusively in abyss shrimp colors and acts accordingly) both they and the motivations behind them are also just. So very human ones . as terrible as the implications and eventual inevitable downfall of those choices can (will) be.

like. is it not that much more fascinating to consider all the ways that childe is neither a particularly exemplary nor an egregiously bad brother just one that. Happens to be wired weird in the head and proud and flawed and with a track record of heavily suspect decision-making but that also very much genuinely loves his family man. Like i can love that about him without dismissing the fact that theres parts to how hes treating teucer that 100% can and imo rly should backfire horrifically bc. It really just is that fucked up

hes not a good brother hes Worse AMD better than that and also not alone in this like. his family is an active fucking part of this . But like still . Is he trying his best with his abyss shrimp colored vision ? Yes. Is his love genuine? Absolutely. What are the marks? 3/10 meet me in the office after class mister youre just actually horrible (affectionate) 😭

A perfect brother? Not My Ajax man 🗣🗣 and like theres SO MUCH to explore in that it makes me so sad you just. Never see any of it p much in fanworks bc we all just call him best bro and whatever and thats that like its so sad. this family is terrible horrible awful and no good and they deserve it but also didnt deserve it it was misfortune it was fate it was inevitable . justice for teucer man i need to get him in therapy asap

[nincompoopydoo]

DEBRIS AND MISERY

THE A-TEAM ; PART 7 / ?

PAIRING: Loki Laufeyson x Female!Reader WORD COUNT: 3.3k SUMMARY: Now stranded on Lamentis with two of the worst variants, you find it difficult to decide whether Loki is potentially empathetic to others around him. A/N: I’m so sorry I haven’t updated in awhile and for posting this slow-moving and kinda uneventful chapter but I promise you, it’s vital for the next chapter as it explains a few things. Please tell me what you think so far and maybe theories? (idk if yall have any lol) gif from this gifset by @kamalaskhans WARNINGS: Swearing. Loki being a jerk. Loki and Sylvie support my writing through ko-fi💖 MASTERPOST ; MASTERLIST

Vertigo strikes you more often than you enjoy. The sensation of everything that encompasses, spinning in tandem with your mind. It’s the work you deal with that constantly sends your brain reeling because the complexity of time travel and time itself sometimes becomes too much to handle. Yet, this isn’t vertigo caused by an existential crisis. It’s nausea from the throbbing gash on your cheek and the numbness of your entire face from the fall through the time door.

For a split second, as your body surges through the door in mid-air, you have a vision, a series of flashing images—crimson eyes blinking before you, the sea, the Sun and fire.

Then, it’s gone and you land with a loud thump.

Your head hurts. Your face hurts. Everything hurts.

A groan escapes your lips, muffled with your face to the ground. You attempt to seize yourself up but immediately halt as your hand seems to come into contact with a shirt-like material. Too soft for it to be the ground unless you are on a mattress. Nothing seems to make sense anyway because a second ago, you had a knife to your throat and another, you are falling.

Deciding that maneuvering in the darkness of your shut eyes isn’t going to give you answers, they flutter open, adjusting to the lightness and hues of your surroundings. Then, every muscle of yours freezes with the realization that it is not the ground you had landed on as you meet another’s eyes with the same stricken gaze, staring back at you. Loki, in a rather unfortunate position, lays beneath you.

Momentarily, time passes like a goddamn laggard.

You can hear and feel every ragged breath he takes. Suddenly, you find yourself swallowing.

What a great time to stab him in the chest if you had a knife right now.

Yet, the moment passes as the tension severely thickens and your anxiety starts to creep onto you with the sudden awareness of your unknown surroundings. Purplish hues can never be good. You continue to seize yourself up in the effort to get back on your feet albeit legs feeling weak when you unceremoniously jab his rib with your elbow and you hear Loki wince from below you.

“Woman! Why are your elbows so sharp?!” Loki shrieks through a series of grunts. In a swift movement, his hands are on either side of your shoulders, shoving you off him. You land hard on your back, head slamming onto something metallic as it clangs with the impact. You groan, hand flying to your head as you eye the God with sharp eyes. “Ow!” you yell but then hear the same exclamation echo from another’s lips—the fugitive variant. You seemed to have kicked her in the knee.

In your peripheral vision, there’s a certain glint that catches your eyes. It’s the tempad, sitting idly amongst the dark gravel. Before you could even begin to pull yourself up from the ground, you are being hauled once more as the blonde climbs over you to reach for the device. But, Loki is quick to grab her by the foot, yanking her away with force.

“Get off my foot!” she growls as Loki attempts to make an expeditious crawl towards the device. He manages to snag it but, the Goddess hoists his head onto a nearby desk with a loud clang.

She already has it within her grasp as you’re struggling to lift yourself.

“Goodbye, variants.” she spits, voice course. If it weren’t for your throbbing migraine and the sting from the open wound along your cheek, you would have properly realized she referred to you as a variant. Well, she’s not wrong to a certain extent.

Yet, she’s still here and no timedoor appears.

“You’re outta juice!” Miss Minutes’ American Southern accent mechanically echoes from the tempad in an almost eerily way followed by repetitive low beeps. You watch her repeatedly stab the screen with slightly wide panicked eyes. “It’s not working,” she says, expression growing anxious with every passing minute.

Loki manages to gracefully stand on his own two feet, even after a brutal hit to his skull, and unexpectedly bends over to you and offers an outstretched hand. You don't say anything, taking it as he hauls you up with a hand to your back as leverage. In an attempt to steady yourself, you instinctively grab his shoulder

Then, you find yourself being yanked by the sleeve and a knife to your throat once again.

She has a scowl imprinted on her face, eyes blazing with frustration and rage.

“Give me your tempad,” she snarls, face close to yours. You can feel the edge of the knife grazing your neck with every inhale. A nervous laugh escapes your lips, eyeing the shine of the blade. “Do you really want to do that?”

For a moment, her face falls, yet it’s gone the next second. She pushes the blade closer. If you breathe, there’s going to be blood. “Give me your tempad or I’ll slice your throat,” she threatens and with your erratic heart pounding in your chest, you manage to cry out.

“I don’t have a tempad!”

“She doesn’t have a tempad!”

You and Loki exclaimed synchronically and shared a look. As far as you were concerned, only Renslayer and Mobius knew about the confiscation of your tempad because it was embarrassing enough to be the only analyst to be called to court. You have so many questions but right now, you should be thinking about how your one slash away from being decapitated.

You feel his grip on your back tighten and within a split second, everything changes around you.

Your surroundings have changed, her knife is no longer on your neck. Magically, you have been transported across the room, facing her back. Loki releases his hold on you and shoves the blonde to the side as she tumbles into a storage shelf.

Your stomach churns unannounced, feeling like the floors are spinning below you as you try to wrap around the fact that you were on the other end of the room a while ago and now you’re here. Transportation or whatever the hell it was, made your insides feel like it's about to spew out of your mouth.

“Never do that again,” you groan, holding your abdomen. Meanwhile, Loki has plucked the tempad from the ground and the other doesn’t seem to want to take the hint that fighting isn’t going to do any good to the situation.

“Just give it back to me. You don’t even know how to recharge it.”

“Well, I do.” you chirp and she eyes you with a scowl. “And so does he. You’re not the only tech-savvy Loki.”

“Don’t call me that!”

You and Loki shoot a bewildered look her way.

“Tech-savvy?”

You swing your head to look at the God who shares an expression equivalent to your own, silently raising the only reasonable question at the moment: What the fuck?

Once again, both of your minds seem to be working in tandem as the two of you echo the same question at the same time like two peas in a fucking pod.

“No. A Loki.” Her gaze shifts between the two of you as she shifts in her stance ready to pounce. Yet, as she does, you see that flicker of green magic appear. In a blink of an eye, the tempad disappears. You suddenly grow worried.

“Loki, where’s tempad?—”

“So, you’re just fully a magician then?” The blonde cuts you off with a mocking tone, snarl directed towards Loki. You watch how his shoulders stiffen at her words.

“Fine. For my next trick,” from his grasp emerges a pair of daggers. “I’ll make you disappear.”

“Woah, Woah. Okay. Now, hang on—” as you were forcing yourself between the two, a shot of flame whizzes just about an inch away from your face, from above. You yelp at the sudden streak of fire right before your eyes as you watch it extinguish to nothing once it hit the ground. The three of you stagger back at the surprise of it.

“Is that one of your powers?”

“Where did you send us?”

Curiosity gets the better of you as you crouch down to inspect the hole in the ground. There are chunks of rock with pieces of dull metallic material amongst the debris. You recognize it in the way it shines under the light that beams through from above—it’s Iridium.

You know exactly where you are.

“You have got to be fucking me.”

Abruptly standing, your hands fly up to hold the sides of your head, face morphing to sheer horror, eyes are wide and breaths deepened. The two Lokis stare at you with slightly anxious looks. You attempt to pull back the wisps of your hair that caress your bloody and bruised cheeks to try and diffuse the growing panic and anger sizzling in your chest.

You feel compressed, stuffy. It doesn’t help when you have two pairs of eyes staring you down while you have a meltdown. So, with the turn of your heel, you trudge out of what you finally figured to be one of the fleets of tents as part of a relief camp. The two variants trail behind you.

A sky filled with light bursts and streaks of asteroids and planetoids. In the foreground, the planet Lamentis grows immensely, its structure severely fractured. The collapse of Lamentis is the ultimate apocalypse and the three of you might as well be dead by now. The ground beneath you rumbles as asteroids shoot towards you from above like flaming arrows. Your head begins to throb all over again at the apocalyptic sight.

“You idiot! This is Lamentis-1!” You hear the woman scream as Loki bickers back. “I don’t know what that means!”

You whip your head to the two of you, teeth-gritting and nose flared—you’re practically seething. “We’re on a moon and that planet is about to crash into and destroy all of us! No one makes it out of here and it’s your fault we’re stranded here!” Your anger is directed towards the two but Loki very well knows it’s specifically him. He swallows, attempting to hide his sudden guilt. “So, fuck you. Fuck both of you—”

“Oh, isn’t that just fantastic—”

“Watch out!”

The woman hollers and suddenly, you are being pushed aside as a meteorite darts, punctuated by a screech that makes your ears ring. Then, you find yourself being guided by firm grips to your arms, dragging you as the three of you sprint across the area. You seek temporary shelter under a tanker, crouching behind its tire. The two variants continue to bicker but to you, their voices are muffled as all you hear is intense ringing.

The fugitive variant abruptly stands, extending her finger to a rundown mining shack. “There!” and once again, much to your feet’s dismay, you’re sprinting through a goddamn warzone. From experience, you know you’re not a fast runner—the whole physicality to it just doesn’t match up to your capabilities. So, you trail behind them, struggling to catch up yet, despite your efforts, the universe tends to play your enemy once again as a meteorite strikes you in the arm.

You collapse to the ground and your right ear starts to ring again, louder than before. You don’t hear your shrill scream, cutting through the noise of the eruptions—it’s just a high-pitched tone drumming in your ears and the excruciating pain burning in your arm.

Loki appears before you, barking words you can’t hear. All you do is grip your arm, pressing into the wound. There’s definitely blood, you feel it surging within your fingers. Indefinitely, you feel his hand sharply tug at the crook of your unhurt arm, hauling you up to stand. His other arm curls around your back, pulling you with him in an attempt to make a run for it towards the shack. Overhead, you see her running, whipping her head around to glance at you. She looks afraid.

The ringing finally halts and through all the wailing like war cries ricocheting across the crater, you hear his voice, ragged and low. It's only for your ears. “Come on, just a little more—”

You’re close to shelter with the blonde a few steps ahead of you. You unconsciously knot your hand against the fabric of his jacket, as if it will conjure any lasting energy left in you push yourself forward, and prevent you from thinking about your bleeding arm.

Eventually, the three of you make it to the shack, slamming the door shut once you’re stepping into the place with the sound of muted metallic thunks. You free yourself from his hold, sliding down the door and to your feet, feeling weak as ever. Your eyes flicker to the wound and it's unexpectedly huge and crimson. You groan, ignoring how the constant arguing of the two variants has become white noise to you but right now, all you need is some goddamn silence.

“Would you two just shut up?” Their pathetic squabble comes to an abrupt stop at your words. You then fish out a handkerchief, from your back pocket, weakly waving it towards your bleeding arm. “—And help me out here?”

The blonde’s snarl returns, “And why would we even help you?”

Loki turns to her with a surprised look. “We? So, we are a team—”

“Shut up—”

“Because let’s face it. The two of you are pathetic liars and you don’t actually know how to charge the tempad. So, help me out here before I start losing more blood than I should and you’ll have no way off this moon.” There’s silence and all you do is concentrate on your breathing as the two of them just stand there, staring, thinking. They share a look. The quiet passes in a moment, Loki surprisingly steps towards you and goes to crouch down to your level. He plucks the handkerchief from your grasp and ties a firm knot.

“Does this mean you’re not planning on killing us?”

You snort, gaze shifting between the two. “Not for now.”

You don't notice the flicker of green emerging from his fingertips as he holds his palm against your wound. You don't notice how the pain nearly subsides at his touch.

—

The golden cocktail glass mocks you with the lack of alcoholic liquid. It shines under the pretty and obscure chandelier above the circular bar where a bartender shuffles her way around. It also manages to reflect the daze of your expression and the flying wisps of your hair that drifts with every passing elite Lamentian adorned with some fancy hat and shiny heels. They seem to move at an obnoxious prissy speed. Though the thought of every being on this moon is about to die and you too might join them in the apocalypse, it somehow comforts you to think that these rich and elite groups, prioritized to enter the evacuation ark, will be joining the others as well.

The trek from the crater to the train had been nothing but eventful. You kept your mouth shut for most of the time, not wanting to lose your energy over two varaints who can’t seem to get along for once. From the woman who blasted the two for harassing her and Loki’s disguise to enter the train, heading for Shuroo, you wonder if this was all worth it.

You also learn that the woman goes by Sylvie. Not Loki.

Strange.

Right now, you aren’t too worried about the major possibility of dying. As much as you hate the two Loki variants that forcefully brought to the current situation you’re in, you know, from working with several variants of the Asgardian prince, Lokis do not die. But, will you? It’s a question better left unanswered.

Loki appears beside you, elbow propped up on the bar, leaning towards it as he faces you with an oddly sickly grin. It’s nearly amusing when you notice how Sylvie and Loki are entirely different from each other, one being much more aloof than the other, yet hold equivalence as well. At the moment, the difference between the two is obvious because you are very sure Loki is as intoxicated as you are while Sylvie has gone off to dream world by the corner of the lounge.

At least you only have to deal with one for the moment.

“You should really stop drinking,” you say, taking a swig from the martini glass. Loki snorts, curiously watching you in a slight daze. “Then, I must call you a hypocrite.” You scoff, not merely paying any mind to his usual antics and clever counters. You spare him a glance before lifting the cocktail glass to rest upon your lips, “Always so perceptive about everyone but yourself.”

Amid his drunken stupor, he nearly hears his mother with every articulation of those words. He is yet to admit of his amazement for your unmatching traits to your personality—so wise yet so outrageously reckless. Your mind is powerful but you don’t tend to use it very well. Loki merely hums, deciding to disregard his surprise, and takes a seat beside you on the barstool. You don’t shift or flinch away when his shoulder brushes against yours.

“Untrue. I know nothing about you,” he says, glancing your way in his periphery, “And that is because you never let me.” Your laugh comes off more like a puff of air, hinted with amusement. “It’s not that. There is nothing to know about me. I’m not very interesting, unlike you and your variants.”

Loki turns to you, lips pursed into a smile that’s knowing and somehow charming. “Don’t be so modest. You are a part of the most powerful bureaucratic organization in the universe. You must have been to many places, seen many things...” he trails off, watching the deepening furrow of your brows. You turn in your seat to properly face him this time, “And why does it matter?” You eye him suspiciously as he briefly raises his palms in defense. “It doesn’t. I was just...curious.”

You shift in your seat, arm now propped up on the bar. “Well, curiosity did kill the cat.”

“But satisfaction brought it back.”

Silvertongue. You narrow your eyes.

“I’m surprised you know that.”

Loki shrugs, gesturing to the bartender for another cup while you carelessly decide he isn’t worth babysitting for now. The alcoholic drink arrives and he takes an unceremonious shot.

“I think you should really go easy—”

He scoffs, “You sound a lot like Thor.”

You’re frowning again.“You’re drunk.”

“And you’re a mewling quim.”

You’re surprisingly calm at his words. He immediately regrets it, thoroughly blaming the alcohol on his once sharp mind. Though your stare is outright intimidating.

“You know, there’s this ancient poem—Hávamál. You might be familiar with it. Hávamál is said to present advice and wisdom from Odin’s very lips. With your current behavior, a particular stanza comes to mind,” you say, voice hinted with cynicism. He knows of Hávamál but with the current scatter of his mind, it’s a lot harder to remember the words of the specific lines of the poem.

“Humour me.” are the words that leave his lips. They are challenging.

You don’t take your eyes off him as you speak lowly, “Er-a svo gott sem gott kveða öl alda sonum, því að færra veit er fleira drekkur síns til geðs gumi”

Less good than they say for the sons of men is the drinking oft of ale: for the more they drink, the less can they think and keep a watch o'er their wits.

You just called him a drunkard idiot in fluent old Norse and it strikes him like a blade to his cheek. Not as bad of an insult than his, but certainly less childish.

His mouth goes dry.

Abruptly standing to your feet, you take a final swig of your drink, slamming it rather vigorously on the bar. “Maybe, you should have listened to your father more often.” With a spin of your heel, you’re walking away from him. Loki swallows, calling after you. “Where are you going?”

You halt in your step, turning to him momentarily with an unknown expression and a lingering gaze. “Away from you.”

TAGLIST:

@lareinedususpense

@poubxlle

@mystoragehatesme

@the-maroon-panda

@kashasenpai

@nyxrae

@johnmurphys-sass

[imagineabrighterworld]

{Flowers} Midoriya x Reader

Summary// Soulmate!AU where everyone has different soulmate markers. Yours happens to be that flowers bloom where your soulmate gets injured. You just happen to be paired with the boy who breaks his bones daily.

Buds and small blossoms were the norm for you as a child. You would find yourself with little blooms on your palms or on your knees, your mother explaining that that meant your soulmate hurt themself. Maybe tripped or bumped into a table.

Your mom told you how the buds that bloomed on your cheeks meant someone was being mean.

As a teen you realize that the flowers on your body meant cruel things and cruel people.

"Hang on out there." You whisper to the flower on your shoulder, its soft petals tickling your skin. You wished you could talk to your soulmate through your skin like your mothers, how they could write on their skin and see the message on each other, or sing and hear the others voice like your uncle had with his wife. But you and your soulmate were connected by flowers.

What was going on in their life to have so many flowers? Sometimes you could feel phantom pains on your stomach as small bruise colored blossoms grew on your skin, or feel the sharp sting of a slap on your cheek the color of yellow daisies.

One day you're walking down the street when you bump into a green haired boy. You were in a good mood, lately there hadn't been new flowers on your body, which had to mean your soulmate was having a good week.

"Hi." You smile at the boy whose face immediately turns pink.

"H-Hi!" He stutters, his hand immediately going to the back of his neck. "Sorry for bumping into you, I should've been watching- not watching you! But watching out! You know- like how you walk and- and yeah.."

You chuckle. He was cute. Covered in freckles and with bright green eyes like the leaves of a tulip. "Don't worry about it." You hold out your hand and introduce yourself. "How about you?"

He shyly takes your hand. His grip is surprisingly stronger than you expected. "I'm Izuku Midoriya."

"Nice to meet you Midoriya." You smile and shake his hand firmly. "Guess I'll see you around."

"Y-Yeah." He smiles.

He smiles and for a moment the world slows to a stop.

You suck in a breath and hold onto your smile as you continue walking.

--

It's when you enter highschool that the flowers return.

You're in the middle of orientation when deep purple hellebores sprout from your finger. You flex your hand and feel the ghostly pains of a broken bone. Tears prickle at the corners of your eyes as you listen to the droning of your homeroom teacher.

What happened to start the cycle again? Why was your soulmate hurting? Who was hurting them?

For the first weeks of school, you're stuck with that question as you do nightly checks. Your arms were constantly covered in flowers, and if you were capable of laughing at something so serious, you would debate selling bouquets with the flowers you were growing.

--

The day of the U.A. Sports Festival you sit between your moms and listen to the pro hero Present Mic as he introduces the classes.

Your mom cheers from your left. "We’ll get to see the first years that survived the villain attack!"

Your mother on your right chuckles. "You say it like it was planned darling, they're only kids. They're probably scarred."

Your moms debate the mental health of the 1-A first years as you watch the students from your spot in the stands. The blooms were getting better and had receded, showing your soulmate had healed which allowed you to focus on the games below.

But then a new set of questions popped up.

Would your soulmate be watching too? Were they interested in the sports festival? Were they quirkless? Did they have a quirk? Did they want to be a hero? You couldn't stop the questions that flowed freely in your mind.

You lean on your palm with your elbow resting on your knee. Your face lights up with surprise as you spot a familiar face in the crowd of students from Class A.

"Hey I know that boy!" You point to Midoriya and tug on your moms sleeves. A smile forms on your face. You didn't know he was going to U.A. but then again you never asked. You didn't think to ask.

"I never got his number though."

Your mother hums. "Too bad, he's cute."

Your mom pats your back. "You can try after the games are over."

During the first and second event, you keep your eyes glued to Midoriya. He was a good strategist. Even if he hadn't shown his quirk yet, you could see how skilled he was. It was a far cry from how you met him. Stuttering and shy. He was confident now, albeit a little emotional. He felt different to you.

"You can do it!" You whisper to yourself, your hands clenched as you see him step up to begin his match. You believed in him!

"Welcome to the first match of the finals tournament!"

From above you could see the student across from him begin to speak. Obviously you couldn't catch what was being said, but you had high hopes for Midoriya!

"Ready? Begin!"

Midoriya begins to run forward, but right as he nears the middle of the platform, he freezes in place and stays there. You feel a shiver run through your body as you watch him. Why was he staying still?

"The fight has just begun and Izuku Midoriya is completely frozen!"

The other  boy’s lips start to move. Midoriya turns around and begins to walk back to his side of the ring.

No. He starts walking to get off of the platform.

“What is he doing?” Your mom mutters, “Silly boy, he's supposed to be heading the other way!”

Your mother murmurs in agreement. “Could it be his opponent’s quirk?”

You didn't quite care as you stood up from your spot and began yelling. “Come on Midoriya! You can do it! Don't give up!”

He was just a step away from the border of the platform when a giant blast of wind came from his hand. At that moment you felt the ghostly pains of your index and middle finger snap. Baby’s-breath grew from your fingers.

You look down at your hand in horror as the announcer screams over the intercom.

"What's this! Midoriya stopped just in time!"

Midoriya was an inch away from the platform, but all your focus was on the flowers that bloomed on your skin. Flowers in the same place as his injuries.

You sit back down, ignoring your mothers as they continue cheering when Midoriya goes back into action. You don't see what happens next, all you hear is that Midoriya won.

On went the battles, but your focus was on your hand and the flowers that slowly fell off as the broken fingers were healed.

When his next match came, you looked up from your stupor. He was fighting a boy who had so far sweeped his way through to the finals. A part of you wanted to cheer Midoriya on, knowing that his match would be a tough one, but the other part was reeling in horror at what would become of his body. He broke his bones using his quirk.

Day in and day out, you had seen flowers grow on you, and you never had a face to link them to.

Cuts, bruises, burns, broken bones.

All from him.

You don't watch his match, all you hear and feel is the shattering ice of his opponent and the flowers that burst from your skin in waves of color. First his fingers, then his arms.

The match ends, and you are left sitting with hydrangeas and hibiscus, poppies and peonies all littering your arms as if you were a living garden.

“Sweetie what happened?” Your mother finally asks from  beside you, or maybe you just weren't listening before. “Could your soulmate be that boy- hey!”

You stand up and push your way through the crowds, running down the line of stairs and around the stadium. The students were in seats across from you, which meant they had to have an entrance nearby.

A door lay in front of you, blocked by several Pro Heroes. You transform into a butterfly, not caring about the pain that rattled through your body at shifting into such a small creature as you fly past their watch and enter the stadium reserved for the students.

You fly past doors marked as waiting rooms until you reach the recovery center.

The door was cracked open, and inside you could see him. He was bandaged up, his body covered in scratches and bruises.

You shift back into a human and slam your flower coated fists on a nearby table.

His eyes open and he straightens up on the recovery bed, wincing in pain when he moves his arms. His eyes were dull with pain, but they had the same light in them as when you had met him for the first time.

Did that light drive him to hurt himself so much?

“You again- how did you get in here?” He sits up properly.

Your eyes are full of tears as you look at his casts.

“You.” You wipe at your eyes, spreading pollen across your face. “I've been a living garden for fifteen years and all you have to say is how did you get in here?”

You can hear the confusion in his voice as he mumbles a small “I’m sorry?”.

Summoning a claw, you pierce the side of your neck and make a thin line.

From his neck, carnations bloom from his skin at the same site of your wound.

His eyes widen in realization.

You both stay silent until you let out a breathy laugh. Now he knew. Now the cogs were turning. You were always so careful to not get hurt to keep from scaring your soulmate, but did he ever put in the same care?

“We’re soulmates..” He whispers.

“For fifteen years.” You repeat silently. “For fifteen years, I’ve had sleepless nights, knowing you were being hurt. For fifteen years you gave me flowers. Looking at flower shops were so painful because they reminded me of you. I couldn't even stand being at my uncle’s wedding because the arrangements reminded me of your pain.”

“I’m-”

You hold up your hand. “Why do you hurt yourself so much? Why go through so much pain? This quirk.. Is it so important for you to become a hero if all you get out of it is pain?”

With blurred vision and eyes stinging from tears, you look at Midoriya who had a quiet look of contemplation on his face. It takes a beat before he looks you in the eyes.

“I want to become a hero that brings a smile to people’s faces. A hero you can rely on.” His Adam's apple bobs as he gulps. “A hero you can rely on. I never meant to make you cry. I'm sorry.”

You slump down to the floor. You hear him squeak and jump down from the bed, letting out a string of “ow’s” before crouching in front of you.

“Really, I’m sorry-”

You place a hand over his mouth and give him a stern look. “Just shut up.”

“Yes ma'am.” He mumbles from behind your hand, his face obscured by the flowers on your hand.

“Ma’am?” A small laugh threatens to escape you.

“I say things when I get nervous..”

Despite the weight of the emotions you had been carrying, you finally laugh.

He leans away from your hand, a blush on his cheeks as you hold you cover your own mouth to try and tame your laughter.

“So um.. Im free Sunday. If you want to talk about how this'll work..?” He questions meekly.

You wipe your eyes and smile. “I’d like that.”

Extra//

You hang upside down from a tree as you watch Midoriya train. He had come over for dinner but as you waited for your moms to finish cooking, you both took to the outside. He had looked to your training grounds in awe and quickly pleaded with you to try out the course.

“It’s my mother’s, not mine, go ahead.” And how could you deny his bright eyes and smile? The damned thing could light an entire city.

He was nearly drenched in sweat by the time he stopped his run through of the course and his small session of shadow boxing. He wipes away his sweat with the back of his hand and sits down under the tree where you hung like a bat.

“Nice huh?”

“Yeah. What does your mother do to have a space like this?”

“She's a hero. But she patrols the west region. She comes back every few weeks to visit us.”

He bonks you on the head as he looks up in amazement. “She's the Transformation Hero Mystique?!”

You quirk a brow. “Bingo. How'd you get that?”

“Lucky guess.” He mumbles sheepishly. 

“You saw her hero costume didn’t you.” You ask bluntly.

He fiddles with his scarred fingers. “I may have taken a detour when I went to the bathroom..”

You turn your head and give him a kiss on the cheek. “Silly boy.”

[giorno-plays-piano]

Sleep tight Part 2

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Warnings: yandere, obsession, stalking, kidnapping, non-consensual drug use, allusion to breeding.

Words: 3571.

Summary: You know someone tried to break into your apartment, but no one believes you since you live in the very same building as famous Captain America. Who is willing to risk it?

Part 1

____________

Your instincts were telling you to ran and shout and scream until somebody would be aware that you were trapped in your own room with a psycho beneath your bed. You needed to get out and find your cousin before it was too late, before he took you away like he promised and did to you whatever his sick mind was telling him to.

Strangely, your legs were not moving as if you lost control over your own body. You were shaking feverishly, but you couldn't force youself to stand up.

Wasn't it too late already? He knew who you were. He knew who your cousin was. He knew all the places where you could hide and all your relatives who would try helping you. How easy would it be for him to kill them all? He was Steve Rogers, the man who had never failed. If he didn't get you now, he'd make sure to tear your world apart in revenge.

You tried moving your legs but failed miserably again. Did your own body betray you? Was it Captain who gave you more of his medicine?

You were stuck here. There was no way out.

"S-steve?" You whispered, bending down a bit and looking at your feet.

When he touched your ankle with his cold hand, a ragged scream ripped from your throat - you were watching him getting out from under your bed like a spider, a mutilated monster, a nightmare in a form of a man. You landed on the floor with a heavy thud, trying to get away from him, crawling to the door, but Steve was already on top of you, injecting another medicine with syringe into your neck. Though he didn't finish yet, you already felt your body freezing. You were getting cold, your eyelids heavy. You thought it was the end when you closed your eyes, listening to Steve's loud heartbeat right above you.

Of course, it wasn't the end. He didn't plan on murdering you now; he only wanted to take you to the other location where you would be safe and sound with him. He'd prefer you to stay conscious, but you had enough stress already with that unhealthy lifestyle of yours, too much work on your shoulders, and lack of sympathy from the people surrounding you. Steve couldn't demand too much from you - you needed some rest.

_____________

The awakening was torturous. Your neck hurt badly from the rough injection, and your head was spinning. You felt like you were on a ship constantly rocked by the waves only to discover you were laying on a bed in a simple room, not a cabin. You didn't recognize this dark empty place, but it was the least of your worries.

You couldn't feel your body below waist.

Moving your fingers, you weakly grabbed the blanket that covered your body, feeling the soft  cotton texture. Your arms lost their strength, but they still felt like a part of you. But your legs... regardless how much you were shaking, your body refused to move even the slightest bit. It was like your lower half wasn't intact anymore. Like somebody cut you in half.

No. No, please, no. NO!

"Shh, honey." His quiet voice cut through the heavy silence, and you find him sitting in the corner of the room in complete darkness. "Please don't stress yourself. It's not good for your health."

You'd laugh at his words if you could, but you weren't able to force even a single sound out of your mouth. He did something to your body. He broke your spine. He made your legs completely useless to you. He made it so you would never leave him, unable to walk.

When Steve got up from his place, you looked at him with pure horror, your eyes filled with tears and open so wide it hurt. He had a concerned expression, watching you tremble with fear. Wasn't he supposed to be happy because he had finally caught you?

The closer he came, the more your teeth chattered almost to the point of breaking. He had taken away your legs. He broke you and he would keep doing it more and more because no one was going to save you from America's most favourite hero. You would die in agony in his hands because he wanted you to.

"Everything is going to be alright, darling." His hand brushed against your forehead, and you whimpered, a thread of saliva running down your cheek from your half-open mouth. You couldn't make yourself speak to him, too shocked and frightened to death. "We're almost there. It's going to take one more day or so, and then we will finally settle down. You don't need to worry about anything."

I don't want to die. I don't want to die. I don't want to die.

His eyes watched your madly shaking figure, and Steve reached out to take your frozen palm in his.

"Why didn't you tell me you're cold, honey?" He frowned and stood up immediately, making you let out a little cry. "Wait a second, I'll give you more blankets."

Blankets. As if you needed any. As if you cared about your body that wasn't functioning properly, half of it just a useless piece of meat now. You felt like you couldn't breathe anymore, gasping for air and feeling like somebody squeezed your lungs with a stony arm.

Steve had returned from the other side of the room shortly with a pile of blankets and carefully unfolded them one by one, covering you with several layers. When he saw you choking, his hands flew to your chest, but your eyes were already rolling back from the lack of oxygen. It didn't take you long to go into the great darkness, sinking into it, feeling nothing at all, even the man's shouting quickly fading away.

It took you even more time before you awoke the next day, your body aching from staying in one position for long, apparently. You were feeling groggy again just like all those mornings in your apartment when your life seemed so boring and uneventful to you. Little did you know, it was heavenly comparing to the complete nightmare you were living in now.

You suddenly realized you could curl your toes on your right foot. And then on the left one too. Your hips felt warm under that huge and heavy comforter.

You could feel. You could feel your lower body.

Then you were crying so hard that at one point you became afraid of being suffocated in your own tears. Steve Rogers didn't break your spine. He did something to you, but your body recovered, nevertheless. Oh, you were strong. You were so strong. He would have hard time trying to break you.

Your euphoria was slowely going away with every minute you spent in solitude in that pretty little room with floral walls. It was the complete opposite of the dark place you woke up after being kidnapped - the new room was furnished very nicely, way better than your own apartment stuffed with cheap things straight from Ikea's sales, and it smelled like roses. Was there a vase with flowers somewhere? It could be. That sick psycho was still playing the role of your loving fiancee.

Wait. Was he under your bed? WAS HE UNDER YOUR BED?

Caring little for the noise you made, you leaned down and lost your grip on the headboard, falling to the floor. You hissed in pain, but then saw there was no one hiding beneath and let out a loud sigh. Relief washed over you. Steve wasn't there. You were completely and utterly alone in the room.

You spent some time listening to any sounds, but you didn't hear anything at all. If Steve was somewhere close, he decided not to show up just yet.

Trying to move as quietly as you could, you got back on your bed and glanced over the room - it was so girly with light pink bed sheets, pillows, chair's upholstery and even a carpet. There was a beautiful vintage vanity with a large mirror - lifting your head, you caught a glimpse of yourself and quickly laid back. You weren't ready to see that just yet.

It was light as day here, but you didn't find any windows. You doubted he would give you a chance to escape through one, and you heart sank at the realization: it wouldn't be surprising if he locked you somewhere underground. Maybe he didn't chop off your legs, yet he took away your opportunity to run away, nonetheless.

Anyway, you could still cry from happiness knowing you were able to walk. It felt like the biggest present somebody could give you.

You didn't know how much time you spent there, staring at the white ceiling and imagining Steve Rogers waiting with an axe behind your door. You didn't hear any sounds whatsoever, even the clock if there was any in the room. Slowly, you started moving your legs again and then clenching your fists real tight. You were in full control of your body, and you wept a little at the thought.

Soon you lifted the comforter and stepped on the pink carpet. Did he put floor heating in here? Your feet felt oddly warm.

Dropping your gaze to your pink silk pyjamas after that, you almost threw up in both disgust and fear. Did that sick pervert do anything to you when you were unconscious? You glanced at the door nervously and took off your top, covering yourself with the comforter in a second. Then you looked at your skin, touching your neck, your breasts and your arms: as far as you could see, there were no marks on your body. It didn't hurt. After that you put the top back on and took off your pants, repeating the same manipulation and finding nothing. Good. He didn't rape you, at least. He couldn't hide this with whatever medication he forced you to take.

Watching youself in a mirror, you wiped a tear running down your cheek. Well, you didn't look as bad as you expected. Certainly not that bad, even after all those horrible things that happened to you.

You searched the room for anything that could help you protect youself but found bothing, not even a pen. You tried grabbing a lamp from your nightstand like the last time, but, apparently, it was glued to the surface. Anyway, how would you protect yourself with it against Captain America? He could break your body in half with his bare arms, and he certainly could have more syringes with whatever fucking drugs he used on you.

You had to go with empty hands. You cringed at the thought, but moved on regardless.

The door was unlocked, and you threw a quick glance at the corridor before stepping away and waiting for Steve to storm into the room. He wasn't there, still, and you swallowed the knot in your throat before opening the door wider with your shaking hands. The dark grey - or green, you weren't sure - colour of the corridor walls made you feel nauseated. It was so much different comparing to the pretty room you woke up in. These walls, however, looked like the walls of a prison.

Was it prison? Had that room ever been a cell before? You covered your mouth with your palm and tried to pull yourseld together. No, it wasn't the right time to vomit. You needed to move.

The room you walked out just now was in the middle of a very long corridor with doors to your left and right. With a lack of light you saw poorly, but you were sure there were no people, at least. After you spent a bit more time standing there to give your eyes time to adjust, you realized that this place had to be huge - the corridor was abnormally long.

Having no clue where to move, you went to your left, feeling very disturbed by the huge difference between the corridor's and your room's appearances. If Steve spent so much money and efforts decorating that place with beautiful furniture and other pieces of interior, why he didn't care to do it anywhere else? Was the room you woke up in the only decent one here?

Oh, you didn't want to open one more door. Breathing heavily, you were covered with cold sweat as you reached for the door knob and softly pushed it, jumping back to the wall beside you.

No sound, no movement, nothing.

Tears were clouding your vision, and you spent one more minute trying to wipe them off before you gathered enough strength to move further. The room you opened was a bedroom just like yours, but not so girly - the walls were covered with light green color, yet the furniture looked as exquisite as in your room. No vanity, however, and nothing to give you at least some protection too. You moved forward.

All those rooms looked pretty fantastic, you had to admit with displeasure. They all were comfortable and completely new.

You stumbled upon more bedrooms, several living rooms, a dozen of restrooms, a walk-in closet, two kitchens and an almost empty cabinet. Although all of them varied in size, you still saw no windows anywhere. And when you found a nursery you cried hard, clenching the fabric of your pyjamas with your teeth.

This place was a maze with more corridors and God knew how many rooms. You had no idea how Rogers could have this house - or whatever it was - running. Well, with his position of Avengers' leader he probably had a fortune to spend.

Oddly enough, all rooms looked pretty as pictures, but not the corridor. It was ugly in every part of the house as if you were supposed to be repulsed to even step outside the room. Maybe it was his intention, you thought. The other strange thing was that Steve was nowhere to be found - you checked every goddamn bed and sofa he could be under, but saw only a dusty floor. Where was he? Wasn't he supposed to be here with you? Not that you objected, though.

You felt tired and hungry after your long jorney.  There was food neither in the kitchen nor in any other room, and your stomach hurt at the thought of chicken nuggets. You'd give up anything for your usual McDonalds meal.

Before you chewed your lips thinking of hot French fries, you heard the distant sound of the door opening - a very heavy door. Probably a metal one.

You were in a bedroom you discovered at last without even realizing what you were doing. The thought of Steve coming to assault you, kill you, and dismember your body caused you to have a panic attack when you were getting behind a huge chair standing in the corner of a room. You couldn't hear anything but the blood pounding in your brain. You didn't remeber whether your screamed or not when the man entered.

Dragging you out the corner you were tucked in, he pushed your head into his chest and then put you onto the bed gently, holding your arms in his when you struggled and kicked involuntarily, not realizing what was happening as the world spin around you. He reached out for his pocket and took out one more syringe - you saw it later as he left it on the nightstand while you were laying on the bed with your body going limp again. But after taking away your strengh, the drug made you regain your sanity instead.

You were laying under the blue blanket, Steve sitting close to you and watching you with a sickly sweet smile of his as he caressed your hair with his hot palm. A few grocery bags were dropped to the floor near him, and you saw a pack of dark red cherry tomatoes almost falling out.

"You must have been scared to be all alone in such huge place. I'm sorry I wasn't waiting for you to wake up in your room, dear." His face lit up when you looked at him, chewing your lips to bits from fear and all that tension, your body pretty mich useless again. "I give you my word to become more considerate in the future. By the way, did you have a good look at our house? You got pretty far."

Pretty damn far. The entrance must have been so close.

You couldn't make youself speak to him again, so you simply nodded, weakly grasping the blanket in your trembling hands. Well, at least you could still feel your own body.

"I wasn't sure what you would like, so I just... filled the space, I guess. Of course, we can make any changes you think are necessary."

Changes? Oh yeah, like having windows and ten times less rooms, not even talking about that obviously thick door preventing you from leaving.

"You'll think about it later. How do you feel now, honey?" His shamelessly pretty eyes looked at you almost innocently, and you felt something like anger rising in your chest. "You will have to take some pills before coming into norm, I have them all here. Nothing that could harm your health, of course! They were prescribed by a very good doctor. The best I could find."

You were close to weeping, listening to Steve talking. You were under his full control again, and of he wanted to break a few of your bones, he could do so easily since you were barely able to move again.

"I'm better." You managed to whisper and shut your mouth when Steve smiled at you, rubbing circles on the back of your hand with his thumb.

"Good. I was getting worried about your constant anxiety. I've told you so many times your lifestyle isn't good for your health, darling! Why have you never listened to me?"

God, he was a madman while you were confined to bed. Your chances to stay alive were miserable.

"I'm sorry, d... dear." You basically pushed these words out of your throat, afraid to make Steve upset. "I will do better."

"I'm glad you heard me out." You shivered and closed your eyes when he leaned closer and dropped a kiss to your forehead.

You expected him to get away and sit straight, but Steve didn't. His face was inches away from yours, and you were afraid to look at him knowing you'd see nothing but the frenzy in his eyes. Captain America was long gone. Someone else had taken his place, and that someone wasn't a good guy ready to sacrifice himself to save his people.

Listening to his erratic breath, you tried to prepare yourself for the end. That was it, right? He'd take that syringe and plunge it into the socket of your eye or into your carotid artery any second. You could feel his madness showing itself on his face even with your eyes closed.

"Why won't you look at me, sweetheart?" His kind voice made you shook. "Come on, open your eyes."

You refused, still. What did it matter?

His breath burned your ear when he spoke next time.

"If you're so willing to run away from me, do you want to play a game?" Steve planted a kiss on your cheek and smiled when you finally opened your eyes. "It's an easy one. Do you like hide and seek?"

You gulped down, watching him like a dangerous animal ready to plunge its fangs into your soft flesh.

"I'll give you ten minutes, and you have to run and hide from me. If I won't find you soon, I'll let you go." His gentle smile was quickly turning sinister while you were left gasping for air. "But if I am going to catch you, I will..."

"No."

He stopped talking and stilled, watching you with wide eyes. The pure confusion on his face looked strange - he didn't understand what you were trying to do.

"I'm not a child." You said, watching him with determination emerging out of nowhere as you spoke. "I don't like these games and I'm tired. I wanna see a movie, Steve."

Was his madness contagious? You certainly felt so, giving him what sounded pretty much like an order. No, you wouldn't play his sick games just to end up mutilated and broken. You'd play yours. You felt so bold and intent to resist him after dreading torture and death so many times. It was like that syringe injected some magic potion into your body, leaving your mind free of fear. What there was for you to lose, anyway?

"Of course, honey! I'm so, so sorry. Of course, you're a grown woman, and it was silly of me to offer you this." He looked... apologetic? Bewildered? Ashamed? "Let me take you to the living room... yes, like that, darling. You're doing so good."

Lifting you in his arms, Steve showed you that warm smile of his once more and carried you away, humming some melody. You put a hand on his chest and listened to his heartbeat that was quickly slowing down. You just escaped your own death, probably. Maybe being a little crazy would actually help you survive.

Once you got an opportunity, you would slit his throat the very first night, you thought.

THE END

_________

Tags: @finleyjayne @alexakeyloveloki   ​@helenaeisenhower @villanellevi @hurricanerin ​@void-hoechlin @abyssaint

[zachsgamejournal]

COMPLETED: Resident Evil 7

This is the most I've enjoyed a Resident Evil since RE2 on PS1. May actually like it more than Code Veronica...

I kinda hated the freight ship section. By this point, I felt the game was done. But the designers were like: Nope, we're gonna have an environment as large as all previous sections combined, more enemies to face, start your gear at zero, and halfway through, make you replay areas via a flashback that's length to story ratio is 100:1.

The remote bombs were...a weird addition. I could place them on the floor, but not...you know...toss them. For like, when you're being assaulted by slimy monsters with shark teeth...And still, the game gives you a ton of them!

Turns out, I wasn't far from the end of the freight ship. So that was good. Then we end up at the salt mine. Turns out Lucas was just playing along...weird. So he got his arm cut off and everything on purpose? Like, he's a legit psycho?

I'm really confused about where the fetuses with curing abilities are coming from...ah well.

So we get some background info: Eveline was a fetus that was mutated to have super powers. She could infect folks, and cause hallucinations: presenting herself has a young girl. She, having never had a childhood, wants a family--so takes over a family and has them kidnap folks to add to their "family", but she's a psychotic child raised by other psychos, so everyone under her influence ends up violent and cruel.

And she vomits up monsters, or something...

Into the salt mine. I thought this was gonna be another section of exploring and puzzle solving, but it's actually quite linear. Seems they designed it to be the action section since they constantly send you up against molded, and drop healing items and ammo EVERYWHERE! I didn't need that because I had amassed so many healing items and weapons by playing frugally.

It's just like when I replayed Resident Evil 1--early on every zombie is life or death, and every bullet and herb is precious. But by the end, you become Terminator, can't die and tons of ammo.

There's a spiral climb at one point, and I just ran from everything. If you move quick enough, it's pretty clear of enemies. First molded was an easy side step. The second was a crawler and he trapped me on a catwalk. I was getting hit from behind, so had to kill that one. The third guy was just a walker, so I shot him once to get him to stumble, making the walk around easy.

And that was it. Salt Mine done. Which I was thankful, cause that damn tanker section!!

So we end up at the beginning, in the old house, reliving some Mia interactions via hallucinations. Not worried, cause I'm more well armed than an American Police force with more medicine than a...uh, pharmacy...I guess.

The phase one fight with Eveline was...unimpressive. But it was more about the story...I guess? I'm torn between being done with the game, and expecting a boss-fight on par with previous ones. But alas, we simply stab old-lady Eveline (nice twist) in the neck with a cure. She asks, "Why does everyone hate me" -- heart breaking, then talks about how it hurts. Almost as emotionally confusing as the end of Alien Resurrection.

But then...phase 2.

Instead of dying, Eveline turns into a giant tentacle monster. I guess it's inevitable that Resident Evil end on a ridiculous note. As grounded as much of the game is, they had to go big. But it's a pretty lame fight. You just shoot at mega-Eveline until a helicopter drops you special gun (Kind of like Brad dropping a rocket launcher at the end of Resident Evil 1 - wink, wink).

So she dies...for realz this time. And Chris Redfield appears in an Umbrella Helicopter. I'm glad he's not mega-Chris from Resident Evil 5, but he also doesn't look "his age". I don't know, seemed like unnecessary name dropping, but also no harm, no foul. Ethan hops in the chopper, finding Mia alive. Aw, so it is a love story!

But then the game gives this cheesy epilogue, blaming Eveline for being horrible--even calling her an "it". And then talks about how Mia just wants to put everything behind her. Everything being that Mia worked for a shady organization making horrible bio-weapons, and as part of her duties, helped hold a traumatized child captive and then attempted to kill her when the girl inevitably escaped??

Eveline was the real victim in this story. She did horrible things because she was child that wasn't properly loved and raised. No shit she wants to build a family. Her saying, "Why does everyone hate me", heartbreaking. I have kids. They're selfish, violent, impulsive bastards sometimes--but they're really sweet and just need people to love them.

Eveline wasn't given love. She was given orders, and restrictions. No surprise that she lashed out, and she did so in the ways she could: vomiting up molded zombies and possessing people.

So bosses...talk about unbalanced.

Boss 1: I had a single clip of ammo, maybe two healing items, and a pocket knife. All got used really quickly. I think you're not supposed to shoot him, just get the car keys. But it was confusing and intense, because I didn't know what to do. CHALLENGE: 3/5.

Boss 2: Jack again, but now it gets real. Moving around is awkward, and the second half involves a chainsaw duel. I used up at least 10 rounds of shotgun shells, all my healing items, and died at least 10 times trying to beat this boss. I almost switched to easy. CHALLENGE: 5/5.

Boss 3: Marguerite as a crazy bug lady. This was kind of the scariest battle, as she drops in out of nowhere and from behind. And if you don't constantly attack her, she sends bugs after you. This one drove me a bit nuts, but eventually I found the winning strategy. CHALLENGE: 4/5.

Boss 4: Super molded. I basically hid around the corner of the elevator and used all my shotgun shells on it. A few shots from the pistol and the thing was down. Not sure I even took damage. CHALLENGE: 1/5.

Boss 5: Mutant Jack. He was so big that he couldn't move around and hide like previous bosses. I maybe was hit once or twice, but it was nothing. The eyes were obvious weak points. CHALLENGE: 2/5.

Boss 6ish: Two Super-Moldeds. Kind of reminds of the big infected guys from The Last of Us. While they killed me the first time (very quickly), on my second attempt, I kept the elevator between us and used all my grenade launcher ammo against them (which I had been saving). They didn't touch me. CHALLENGE: 2/5.

Eveline Phase 1: Walk towards her, block when she shock waves. Timing was semi awkward. I died once. CHALLENGE: 1/5.

Eveline Phase 2: Shoot at a giant target that doesn't appear to do any actual damage. Could have been a cutscene. CHALLENGE: 1/5.

It's so weird that the hardest bosses were at the beginning. I guess this is where you have consider experience vs challenge. But for survival horror, challenge is part of the experience. You're supposed to be scared of bosses.

I think the final Eveline battle should have the player running through the swamp. Eveline's tentacles swimming after you, and in front of you, giving birth to molded with familiar faces (Like Mia) to freak you out. And that keeps happening until the player is out of ammo and healing supplies. Once you've used your last heal and bullet, Chris Redfield snipes the molded. You watch as the Eveline Mass rises to attack the helicopter. Chris takes aim with the Wesker gun, fires a shot at a tentacle arm--it calcifies and shatters! Eveline freaks out and smacks the chopper, sending the gun flying to the ground. You see it 10 yards away. You run to it, grab it, turn--Mia appears before you. "I'm one with her now. If you kill her, we'll never be together." If you hesitate too long, Mia kills you. If shoot, she shatters--Eveline attacks, final few shots: END.

Ah well. It was a good game and I'll probably play it again. I could see this being a semi-regular replay for me, right there with RE1 and RE2.

[jilyyall]

Animal Magnetism - Ch 9.

Edward Cullen was not a normal teenager; of that I was certain. But knowing that did nothing to stop the pull I felt towards him. And if what he was saying was any indication, he felt some strange pull towards me, too. It was like we were magnets struggling against hope to stay apart. I only wondered what would happen when we inevitably collided.

Chapter 9. Iron Will. FANFICTION.NET / AO3 Intro/1/2/3/4/5/6/7/8/9/10/11/12/

I took my time showering, dressing, and brushing my hair the next morning, trying to avoid my parents until they both left so that I didn't have to endure more questions about the mysterious Edward who drove me home. I ran out the front door maybe two minutes after I heard Renee's car pull out of the driveway, my truck key in hand.

And stopped, heart hammering in the damp air that promised rain momentarily, when I saw a silver Volvo where Renee usually parked. In the blink of an eye, Edward was outside and holding the passenger door open for me.

"Would you like a ride to school?" he asked. He was watching me carefully like he was worried I would have changed my mind about being near him, alone with him, in the last ten hours and thirty-two minutes.

"Yes. Thank you," I said, and walked over to him, trying my best to exude confidence even though I knew he could hear my heart hammering.

I brushed by him, closer than was strictly necessary, and slid into the car. He closed the door softly and instantaneously was sitting next to me, looking at me with that same expression he had when he'd done the same thing in Port Angeles.

"You're not going to scare me off with that," I informed him as I buckled my seat belt.

"I could scare you," he said with a thoughtful frown.

"I'm sure you're capable," I allowed, and shrugged. "But it doesn't make a difference to me."

"Yes, I remember," he said. "As it happens, I like being able to be myself around you."

For some odd reason, it sounded like he was frustrated. With me for not running away screaming? Very likely. With himself for not wanting to hide who he really was from me? Well, that seemed pretty likely as well, given what I knew of his personality and considering the several warnings he had given me that I would be better to stay away from him.

"You were going to tell me how your family was formed," I reminded him as he turned the key in the ignition.

He talked me through it, speaking quietly, carefully, as if expecting it to suddenly become too much.

"Carlisle found me dying of the Spanish Influenza in the summer of 1918 in Chicago. He was lonely, you see, after so long on his own, and had been considering making a companion for himself since he was having no luck finding one. He had treated my parents, but wasn't able to cure them. My mother… it was her dying wish that Carlisle save me. He saw something in me – I think I was especially perceptive even then, and he could see it. He was fond of me, so when it was clear to him that there was no saving me conventionally, he took me from the hospital – it wasn't hard to hide, so many bodies everywhere – and he changed me."

"I still, to this day, don't understand how he was able to stop from feeding on me. Mine was his first taste of human blood. I don't know how he's managed it, but in almost half a millennium, Carlisle has never fed on a human."

Half a millennium? I bit my lip, thinking of the young, attractive small town doctor, and trying to reconcile him with someone almost five hundred years old. It didn't seem possible, but how could I doubt Edward now?

"Do you remember it all from your own perspective? Or are they Carlisle's memories you have?" I wondered aloud.

"Some of both. I don't remember my human life very clearly, as I said last night, only small details that seemed important to hold onto. I remember even less from when I was dying. The fever was so intense…" he said, and I saw his grip on the steering wheel tighten. "Mostly, I just remember the pain."

"The pain? Of being ill?" I asked.

"No." He sighed and turned to look at me as he guided the car to a smooth stop at a red light. "The bite, and the subsequent transformation. It's days of agony, burning as the venom spreads through the body until the heart stops. And then, a different sort of burning when you wake."

"Hot iron down the throat?" I guessed, recalling the description from the night before.

"Something like that," he said with a wry smile, and his gaze flickered over me.

"Wait," I said, horrified. "Is it more painful now, with me? Even more painful than when you first woke up?"

"In some ways," he said, and shrugged. "When you first wake, it's different. It's… primal… the urge to feed… there's no fighting it. There's no caging the monster in. There is only the call of blood. Now, it's different. My body and my mind and my heart are constantly at war around you. You're lucky I'm a very stubborn being, Bella."

It was silent for a moment, one of those silences where I knew Edward was just waiting for my reaction. I looked at him, right in his eyes. "What about the others? How did they come along?"

He sighed and shook his head and I knew I hadn't given him the reaction he'd expected, the one he felt he deserved. Horror, I guessed. Or maybe repulsion.

"Esme was next. She fell from a cliff and was on the verge of death. He'd treated her in the hospital before, years earlier, had affection for her, and she for him. He couldn't bear the thought of her dying, so he changed her. They've been married for nearly a century."

"Then Rosalie. She was beaten and left for dead in the street. He brought her home and changed her. It was only two years later she found Emmett being mauled by a bear in Tennessee. She carried him more than a hundred miles back to Carlisle and begged him to change him for her. The amount of restraint she showed only two years after her own change was astonishing. To be able to resist all that blood when she was covered in it? It's not a simple thing, but she felt something for him and she knew he was going to be important to her."

"Did you see that in her mind?" I asked curiously. Somehow, I couldn't imagine Rosalie Hale sitting and talking with Edward about her feelings. But what did I know? I only saw the façade they put on at school. For all I knew, she was warm and inviting at home, and the stoic intimidating exterior in public was just a ruse.

"Yes. She used to be very annoyed with me that I could hear everything she was thinking," he told me. "She would try to block me out, but it didn't always work very well."

"And now?" I asked.

"There are no secrets in my family now. They are all free with their thoughts around me," Edward said, and scowled. "Too free, sometimes."

"You can't control it?" I asked. What must it be like to constantly have everyone else's thoughts in his mind when he didn't want them?

"I've learned to tune it out at times," Edward said dismissively. "In a crowd, it's almost like background noise. It's more difficult for me to tune out my family, though. The more familiar I am with someone, the stronger the connection."

"It must be terribly inconvenient," I said.

"Yes, it can be," he said, but he didn't sound inconvenienced. He'd clearly made his peace with the fact that he could so rarely enjoy true solitude. "They've each learned their own way of temporarily hiding their thoughts. Except for Emmett, who's never bothered to try. He's very open and honest and he doesn't see the point of trying to hide anything from me when I'll just find out anyway."

It all sounded very fascinating, and I wanted so badly to learn more about their family dynamic, but first I had to finish the story of how his family came together. "What about Alice and Jasper? You said they came together and found the rest of you."

"Yes. Jasper was changed when he was serving as a soldier in the Civil War, almost sixty years before me. He didn't have the same upbringing as the rest of us. He fed only on humans until he and Alice found each other in 1948. She helped him learn how to curb his instinct to kill humans, to control it after nearly a century of feeding on humans."

"Is that why he always looks like he's in pain?" I asked.

"It's part of it," Edward said. "It's more difficult for him to curb his nature. He struggles more than the rest of us."

"Why do you do it?" If it was so difficult, why did they bother to deny their instincts?

"We… have a fondness for humanity," Edward said slowly. "We respect the living; we see the people rather than the prey. And we don't… we don't want to be monsters."

"I don't think you're a monster, Edward," I said quietly. He looked dubious, as if he didn't quite believe me, but he didn't argue. "What's Alice's story?"

"She doesn't know," Edward answered. "She doesn't remember anything before she woke in the dark."

"Nothing?" I asked.

"All she remembers is waking up alone in 1920. She stayed that way until she and Jasper found each other, nearly thirty years later," Edward said gravely. "They haven't been apart since."

I pictured the smallest of the Cullens: flitting, pixie-like, fragile. Of course, that was just her appearance; I knew she wasn't defenseless, wasn't as harmless as she looked. All the same, I couldn't imagine the pain and loneliness she must have suffered waiting so long for her soulmate.

"It's so sad," I whispered, my voice breaking. I wondered, then, if it had been like that for Edward: lonely and sad. What was it like to be surrounded by happy couples, soulmates, to hear the force of their love in your mind, and have no one to share it with? I felt tears welling hot in my eyes and blinked quickly, swiping at a single errant tear. Embarrassed, I looked at Edward to see that he was staring at me again in stunned disbelief.

"Yes, it is," he agreed after a moment, his voice very gentle in the quiet space between us.

I realized that the car was no longer moving; we had arrived at school and parked close to the middle of the lot while he was speaking. There was a soft tapping on the hood of the car; the heavy clouds had finally produced the promised rain.

"Do you want your jacket back?" I said, feeling awkward; he was still watching me with that almost awestruck expression. I was wearing his jacket again, in part because I only had the one suitable jacket I'd left in Mike's car the night before, and partly because I'd been planning to return it to him as soon as I'd seen him anyway. That, and I couldn't get enough of the smell.

"No, Bella," he said softly, and there was something strange in his eyes. Hunger, I thought with a flush, but not the dangerous kind. "It actually serves its purpose on you."

He leaned over the center console, just like he had last night, and pressed his face to my neck and inhaled deeply again.

"Not that I mind," I said breathlessly as he began to run his nose along my jawline, just like he had done in Port Angeles. "But why do you do that? Doesn't it hurt you?"

"Yes," he murmured in my ear, but he didn't pull away. "It's enjoyable, though. And necessary. Think of it as if… I'm desensitizing."

He pulled away with a small, wicked smile. "That, and I like the way your heart races."

"Well," I said, swallowing thickly. He was still so close, his amber eyes inches from mine. I wanted him closer still. "I'm happy to help you desensitize. Feel free to continue."

"As much as I would love to – and, believe me, I would love to," he laughed ruefully, shaking his head, and then gestured out the window to indicate the full parking lot, "we have an audience, and they think we're doing something very different."

"Oh," I said, looking around in horror. I made eye contact with a couple walking in front of the car; the girl averted her gaze quickly, giggling to her boyfriend. I groaned. "Great."

"Are you ready?" Edward asked, reaching for the handle of his door.

"I guess." I sighed, though. I really didn't want to leave the confines of his car. I wished more than anything else that we could be alone again. I just had so many more questions for him.

Edward met me as I stepped out of the car, moving at a normal human pace, and shut the door for me. When he reached to take my books from me, I stepped back.

"What are you doing?"

He quirked an eyebrow, but otherwise didn't acknowledge my discomfort, taking the strap of my bag and sliding it off my shoulder.

"Bella," he said in a long-suffering voice. "Before the end of first period, everyone in this school is going to hear how we were just making out in my car. How would I look if I didn't even carry your books for you after that?"

"But, we weren't," I hissed, hurrying to catch up to him when he turned to walk across the lot.

"Would you like to tell them that, then?" Edward said. I could see the upward quirk of his lips; he knew I wouldn't say anything to anyone. "Besides, what we were actually doing is, in truth, much more scandalous. I'm only trying to preserve my reputation as a gentleman."

"It isn't 1918 anymore, Edward. You're being ridiculous," I said, then shook my head. I knew I wasn't going to win this one. "But, if I just think of it as protecting your reputation, I can bear it."

"I appreciate that. It's very noble of you," Edward teased.

I was aware of all of the eyes on us, but I couldn't find it in myself to care too much. I enjoyed being around Edward more than I hated the attention that came with it.

"Hey, where are the others? You usually drive them," I said, suddenly struck by the realization that his siblings were nowhere to be found.

He nodded to a bright red convertible on the other side of the parking lot. "Rosalie drove today."

"What does your family think about all this?" I asked. I knew I didn't have to explain that I meant us.

He was silent for a while. We were almost to the awning people usually crowded under when it was raining by the time he answered.

"Most of my siblings think I'm being irresponsible," he said carefully. "You have to understand that the entire family will be implicated if this ends badly. My parents just want me to be happy, so they're willing to support me in whatever decision I make."

"Is there something you haven't decided?" I asked very quietly. He had said I won't ever hurt you, Bella last night, and he'd said it more than once, so I was confident that he wasn't still deciding whether or not to kill me. What more was there?

"No, Bella," he answered. "I've made up my mind."

I still didn't think he was talking about the murder and blood drinking, but I knew it wasn't the time or place to push for clarification. "You said, most of your siblings?" I said instead.

"Yes," he said, his eyes narrowing in thought, like he was deciding how much to tell me. "Alice is very supportive."

"She is?" I said, surprised. I had never had any contact with any of the Cullens other than Edward and Dr. Cullen. I couldn't think of any good reason for his sister to like me, though I did remember her smiling at me the other day at lunch. "Why?"

"Alice can be strange sometimes," Edward said, still carefully choosing his words with a frown, and I remembered we couldn't speak freely here, not with so many people around. "She thinks you two will be the best of friends."

He glanced sideways at me, and smiled ruefully at what I was sure was the shocked expression on my face. "She has good reason," he added.

I filed that away for future clarification.

"Morning, Bella!" I looked up at Jessica's call to see her and Mike standing just ahead, under the awning several feet back from the light rain. Mike had my jacket folded over his arm.

"Hey, guys," I said when Edward and I drew level with them.

"Here," Mike said, handing me my jacket with a frown. "I thought you might need this."

"Thanks, Mike. You're a lifesaver," I said, swapping jackets as quickly as I could. Edward inclined his head when I handed him his jacket with a soft, "Thank you."

"Well, we'll leave you two to it," Jessica said with a sidelong glance at Edward. She gave me an expectant look that Edward pretended not to notice.

"See you in government, Bella," Mike said with a grumpy scowl.

"Yeah, sure," I agreed.

Edward chuckled when they walked away, stepping closer to me and lowering his voice. "She's planning to ambush you in Trigonometry."

"Yeah, I figured," I said with a sigh, then studied him speculatively. "What does she want to know?"

"She wants to know if we're secretly dating, or if we're just hooking up," he said at once. Then, after the briefest hesitation, "And if I'm a good kisser."

"But…" I stopped, and looked at him in panic. I didn't know any of the answers, except that we definitely were not hooking up. "What do I tell her?"

"I suppose you could tell her we're dating, if you don't mind. I think it would be easier than the alternative, since we'll be spending so much time together anyway," he said, grasping the handle of the door to the English building and holding the door for me.

"I don't mind," I said, then peered up at him shyly as we stopped outside my classroom. "I mean, it's kind of the truth… Isn't it?"

He looked at me with such tenderness, and stroked a single long-fingered hand through my hair. "Yes, Bella. You're right," he murmured, and then turned and began to walk away.

"Wait," I said, glancing warily at the people walking through the hallway. "What about that other thing?"

"Well, Bella, I'm afraid you're on your own with that one" he said, pausing at the door to give me a taunting wink. "But I'll be curious to hear how you handle it."

And then he was gone, leaving me to endure English class with Eric moping in the corner, and then Government with Mike shooting me furtive, sidelong glances. I knew he wanted to talk to me, probably to try to discourage me from seeing Edward anymore, but I was too preoccupied with the upcoming ambush to care.

Jessica was waiting for me outside of building six after my government class. It was a testament to how eager she was for gossip that she barely spared Mike a greeting before she hooked her arm through mine and practically dragged me along towards building five, and our Trigonometry class.

"Spill," she said as soon as Mike was out of earshot.

"About what?" I asked reluctantly.

"Did you plan to meet up with Edward last night? What happened after you left us? Did you hook up? Are you guys dating? Is he your boyfriend? Is he a good kisser?" She fired questions off rapid-fire so that my head was spinning by the time we walked into our classroom.

"Um," I said once I sat down. "No, I had no idea he was going to be there. I was as surprised to see him as the rest of you were."

"Why did he come? Just to see you? Just because he knew you would be there?" she demanded, leaning across the aisle to whisper so that we couldn't easily be overheard.

I shrugged awkwardly and tucked my hair behind my ear, acutely aware that Edward would be paying close attention to Jessica's thoughts.

"I… yeah, I guess so," I stammered. "We just went outside to talk… only to talk. And he gave me his jacket because I was cold."

"Because you left your jacket in Mike's car," Jessica said with a nod. "Did he really just take you home after? Or did you go somewhere else?"

"Well he was concerned that I hadn't eaten since breakfast, so we stopped at that Italian restaurant near the theatre."

"Oh, how thoughtful," Jessica said. "So, are you planning to hang out again? Are you guys, like, a thing?"

"Y-yeah, I… I guess," I said, ducking beneath my desk to rummage through my bag for my notebook and pencil. It was a pretty obvious attempt to hide my blush, I thought, but Jessica wasn't the most observant person, and I could only hope it hadn't registered in her thoughts. "He's driving me to Seattle next Saturday."

"Oh… But you guys should go to the dance!" Jessica protested.

"No, definitely not," I said, shaking my head firmly. "I don't surf, and I don't dance. Trust me, it's for the best."

"I bet Edward can dance," she said dreamily. "Rich kids go through classes like that all the time."

"I bet he can." I doubted if there was anything he couldn't do.

"Have you met his family yet? Has he met your parents? Has your dad pulled the Police Chief card and scared the crap out of him?"

"I've only met his dad. Dr. Cullen treated me after the almost accident," I reminded her. "Apparently, though, he thinks I'll get along well with Alice. He hasn't met my parents, but something tells me even the Chief won't scare him."

Jessica snorted softly. "I wonder if he'll pull the whole cleaning his gun routine when it happens."

Thankfully, class started just then, affording me a short reprieve from her questions. Of course, the second the bell rang she was at my side with more.

"Well?" she said impatiently, as if I had failed to answer a question she had asked two seconds ago, not an hour ago. At my blank look, she made a 'tsk'ing noise and lowered her voice to a hiss in my ear again. "Is he a good kisser?"

"Oh." I bit my lip, and hugged my books to my chest, thinking over my options carefully. She just assumed that we had kissed; I figured it was weirder for me to say that we hadn't, but I wasn't confident in my ability to lie to her. I decided on some semblance of the truth. "Um, you know… it's really embarrassing, actually, but every time he comes near me, much less touches me, I feel like I'm about to pass out."

Jessica giggled. "W-o-w," she said, drawing it out into a three-syllable word.

"Anyway," I said, quickly taking advantage of her silence as we approached our Spanish classroom. "Bring me up to speed on what happened after I left last night. You and Mike are looking pretty cozy."

"I know, right?" She squealed, her brown curls bouncing on her shoulders. "He dropped me off after everybody else even though Angela lives closer to him, and he kissed me!"

"That's awesome, Jess," I said with a genuine smile. It seemed Mike had taken what I'd said to heart, and had decided to leap into it with Jessica.

"Yeah, I mean, I didn't almost pass out or anything," she said, rolling her eyes playfully. "But it was really nice!"

"Are you guys going out again before the dance, or what?" I asked.

"I think he wants to go see another movie this weekend. A slasher flick this time," she said. "Oh, you and Edward should come!"

I pursed my lips in an awkward smile as I slid into my seat. "I don't know, Jess." I shrugged and reached into my bag for a pen. "Mike really doesn't seem to like Edward."

"Whatever, he'll get over it." She rolled her eyes. "I don't think any of the guys here like any the Cullen boys. It's just because they're all super hot, though. Don't worry about it."

We took our seats in Spanish just as the bell rang and I was relieved, for once, when Mrs. Goff announced a pop quiz. Next to me, Jessica groaned with the rest of the class.

"Who gives a pop quiz on a Monday? Seriously messed up. Anyway, are you having lunch with Edward again?" Jessica asked me as we started putting our books away after class. She paused, staring at something out the window. Turning, I saw Edward standing under a tree, looking at me. Jessica laughed breathlessly next to me. "I guess that's my answer. I'll see you in Gym."

By the time I stepped into the drizzle outside, he was standing there at the door with an amused smile. Once again, he took my book bag without preamble. "How did it go?"

I glowered at him and didn't answer; he already knew, of course. Hadn't he basically told me he would be listening in on Jessica's thoughts? He laughed at me as we started walking to the cafeteria and the mesmerizing sound made it difficult to feel awkward about the stares we were getting again.

"You nearly faint whenever I get too close to you?" He held open the door to the cafeteria with a smirk.

"Please. Like you didn't already know that." Following him into the line, I rolled my eyes. Then, in a truly terrible impression of his smooth, melodic teasing earlier in the car: "I like the way your heart races."

He took a lunch tray, slanting an almost nervous look down at me. "Are you annoyed with me already?"

"No," I assured him, eyeing the tremendous amount of food he piled onto the tray dubiously. He couldn't honestly expect me to eat all of that. "What? Half's for you?"

"Of course," he said with a wink for me, and a smile for the lunch lady as he paid her. She stared after him when he turned away; even middle-aged women weren't immune to his charm, I realized with a small smirk as I followed him.

He sat at the end of the same long, half-occupied table we'd shared the week before, but this time I chose to sit in the seat next to him. I worried my proximity would alarm him, but he moved his chair closer still, so close that our arms would brush each time I reached for something from the tray. I wanted to ask him so many questions, but I was worried that we would be easily overheard. Correctly guessing the reason for my hesitation, he smiled softly and angled his body toward me, leaning in.

"The other students here aren't as curious as you," he reminded me. "Besides, it's incredibly difficult to be overheard in a noisy, crowded lunch room. We can talk."

"Is it difficult for you to pretend to be just like any other person?" I asked quietly.

"In what way?" Edward said. He leaned his opposite forearm against the table, and his torso hunched slightly as he leaned towards me. We looked, I was sure, very secretive, but I figured most people would likely attribute it to new love.

"Physically, I mean. Like your speed. I know you said last night that you hate going slow, but is it difficult for you to move at a more … normal pace, for lack of a better term?" I clarified. "And the strength. I know you're capable of massive shows of strength. Are you, I don't know, concentrating really hard right now not to crush that?"

I gestured to his hands. He was fiddling absently with my empty soda bottle.

"Regarding the speed," he began slowly, pausing when someone walked behind us, "it's not difficult, per se, to move at a normal pace. It's just boring. And the strength?"

In a flash, the bottle was a ball of plastic no bigger than a golf ball. He smiled at me and set it down on table between us.

"It's very easy to do things like this, and like … other things you've seen," he said cryptically as a boy I recognized from my Gym class walked in front of us. I knew he was referring to the day he'd stopped the van from crushing me. "But it's not difficult to handle delicate things. Your hand, for instance."

He reached over and took my hand in his, slid his fingers through mine smoothly. I marveled at the bold contact – he'd been fairly careful not to touch me too much last night. He turned our hands over so mine was resting on top of his on the table.

"I could very easily crush every bone in your hand, if I wanted," Edward said with a quick flash of a grin. "But it's not that I have to try not to hurt you in that way, it's that I would have to consciously expend the effort. Do you understand?"

I nodded. It wasn't like the bloodlust where he was focused nonstop on not killing me. He was like a regular boy in respect to his strength, unless he actively chose not to be. "Is it difficult right now? In the other way?"

He smiled serenely and shook his head. "No, Bella. Or, I should say, no more than I can handle."

"Is it… normal? The, um, the effect I have on you?" I said hesitantly. "Is it very strong like this, very often?"

He frowned, his eyes narrowing with some sort of internal debate. Finally, he sighed, and shook his head. "While not unheard of, it isn't common," he told me, speaking so quietly I had to strain to hear him. "Occasionally, there will be one person who is particularly enticing, but I've never heard of it being this strong before."

"Has it ever happened to you?" I asked. I hadn't yet asked him if he'd always followed his family's way of life, but it was on my list. I just wasn't sure how to word it, or how comfortable he would be discussing it. Something he had said in the car earlier made me suspect that he hadn't always had such a strong will, hadn't always rejected human blood.

I don't know how he's managed it, but in almost half a millennium, Carlisle has never fed on a human.

"No," he said. "But to Emmett. Twice, when he was still fairly new. Once stronger than the other, but nothing like this." He danced his long fingers lightly along the wrist of the hand he was holding, right over the veins there. "He tried, but ... couldn't resist. He's the youngest of us, it's more difficult."

Over his shoulder, I saw his siblings at their usual table. They weren't looking at us, but that didn't mean they weren't aware. Alice and Rosalie were on one side of the table with an untouched apple and a banana in front of them as they looked at their boyfriends... husbands? Across from them, Emmett and Jasper were playing a very ordinary-looking game of paper football on the tabletop. Shocked by the normalcy of the scene, I turned to Edward. "Can they hear us now?"

"Yes, they're listening," he said, watching me closely. "Does it bother you?"

I thought about it. Did it bother me to know that anything I ever said could be overheard? I didn't want to hide anything from Edward, and I wanted his family to know that they could trust me with their secrets. I couldn't lie to myself and deny that it was strange, knowing that I could only be certain I had privacy if I wasn't speaking, but nothing had changed. For the two months I'd been here, every conversation I'd ever had could have been overheard by any of the Cullens.

I shook my head, and shrugged. "It is what it is. It's the world I live in now."

Rosalie Hale turned suddenly, and glared at me so harshly that I flinched. She was the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen, but in that moment, her face was the stuff of nightmares. Edward stiffened and his free hand curled into a fist on the table between us. He scowled and hissed a low warning under his breath without looking up. Casually, Rosalie turned her head back to the other Cullens and shifted back into the ordinary illusion with ease.

"I'm sorry about her," he murmured and I remembered he had said that his siblings, save Alice, weren't very happy he was spending time with me so publicly.

"It's okay." I shrugged, but I was shaken. She'd looked so angry, almost as terrifying as Edward had been that first day. Now, looking at him sitting so calmly beside me, it seemed like a lifetime ago I'd been certain he wanted me dead. "I get it. This isn't just dangerous for me."

"I'm not going to lose this battle," he vowed quietly, and I knew he said it for his family's benefit, and maybe even his own, as much as mine. "I couldn't survive it if I did. Not after knowing you."

"That iron will of yours," I murmured.

"I get it from my father," Edward joked, and I knew he referred to Carlisle.

FFN/AO3

[icybeanheadcanons]

Hihi~ I know I said I'd drop this by a while back, but I wanted to wait till your ask box was calmer so you wouldn't feel overwhelming 💖 What are your headcanons for the different Gasters, if you don't mind? (Like before, please feel free to take as long as you'd like to answer; it's always worth it!) ~

I was wondering when I'd see this ask in my box. Bless you for waiting for my ask box to calm down. It really helped.

Gaster Headcanons

Undertale

Goop

 -Royal scientist as we all know

-holy fucking memes. The memes never stop it seems. Probably Alphys who introduced him to them.

-plays piano, and composed a piece of music for his boys. He taught Classy Bean how to play piano.

-The dad jokes never stop.

-bad habit of forgetting to eat when he works on his experiments

-SCIENCE. The more complex the science, the more interested he is.

-what’s sleep? He forgets to sleep. A lot.

-his sleep schedule is so out of whack oh my god. His internal clock is fucking jacked up.

-adores kids, and kids tend to adore him.

-Dotes on the people he cares for, and made sure he made time for his kids.

-Classy Bean’s love for science comes from him.

-Tale’s love of puzzles is from him.

-Puzzles are wonderful he loves them

-Coffee is his savior okay

-When he isn’t working on something he loves, he’s pretty lazy.

-made a scrapbook of sans and started on one for papyrus before he fell into the core.

-was a great dad until he fell into the core.

-Wasn’t completely erased from existence after falling into the core. Nobody dared speak of him, (it hurt too much) though many forgot him, a few never could. These people include Classy Bean, Toriel, Asgore, and Alphys.

-the void is the worst place ever, but now he’s able to watch his boys grow up and check in on them. Its the best he can to be there for them. He wishes he could do more.

-Classy Bean’s machine isn’t to other multiverses. It’s him trying to make a door to the void so he can have his dad again.

-Always hums the tune he made for Classy Bean and Tale when they go to bed, almost as if he’s singing them a lullaby. Whenever he seems to do this Classy Bean seems to be able to go to sleep that night. He hopes it’s because of him.

-6 ft. tall by default, but he goop now so he can shift to being a bit taller or being much shorter.

-loves dogs. Annoying Dog is an actual dog that fell into the underground. Some animals fall in all the time, and the dog was one of them. Gaster took the dog in as a pet which is why Annoying Dog is around Tale and Classy Bean so much. Annoying Dog though has become the town’s dog.

-Alphys was the one to get him out of the void. She had found a weak spot in the void so he could step out. It was a really dangerous operation and she was trembling with the phone when she called Classy Bean in a panic.

-Classy Bean Shortcuts him and Tale to the lab immediately. He’s still pretty goopy from the void, but Classy Bean runs to him already sobbing.

-Goop is crying too, scooping his boy into his arms. Tale hardly remembers him but he gets pulled into a hug too. Goop lives with his boys now.

Underfell

Grump

 -Super fucking cautious holy shit.

-Red Boy whenever he’d go out to play had this lecture he’d have to go through, a list of everything he’d taught him.

-Ha, he was never alone though. He watched over him, stalking him through town because he was worried.

-He’s the one who installed several thousand locks on the house. The windows have puzzle locks. Ain’t no one crawling through windows.

-He was super strict with Red Boy and Soft Edge, but behind closed doors super affectionate and loving.

-He taught them to stick together. No matter what. They’re family and they are going to be the only ones to trust down in the underground. He was enforcing tight bonds as much as he fucking could.

-Taught Red Boy piano and how to sew.

-Made all of Red Boy’s and Soft Edge’s clothes by hand.

-Taught Red Boy some science along with Soft Edge. Soft Edge vaguely remembers it.

-When he went out with his boys he would pick them up and carry them. No excuses. He couldn’t let them trail behind. Sure killing children was frowned upon but it didn’t really stop monsters from doing it. The harsh punishment didn’t always get carried out when they couldn’t find the culprit unfortunately.

-Was friends with Jerkby, who was a bit older than Red Boy. Probably about three years. Jerkby didn’t have parents, they were dusted after all, and he’d allow Jerkby to stay in the shed (Jerkby refused to step inside a stranger’s house). When they grew closer where Jerkby trusted him more he let him stay in the house.

-When he disappeared into the core they were all still relatively young. Jerkby got rougher, and meaner. Red Boy is the only reason he kept any bit of kindness that he had beforehand.

-He was violent in the void. He hadn’t ever killed anyone really just beated them to near death before leaving them alone. So he’d never been outright violent. The void made him beyond angry though.

-When the barrier breaks, the void wavers enough from the pulse to let him out, and he immediately tracks down his boys.

-Red Boy almost threw a bone attack at him until he realized it was possibly his dad.

-Soft Edge doesn’t buy it, but the uncanny resemblance to his hazy memory is too much for him to deny. He is the one who demands to hear the his story.

-Red Boy quizzes him on things only he would know and he passes with flying colors. As soon as he does Red Boy is LAUNCHING HIMSELF AT HIS FATHER.

-Red Boy cries for the first time in a long time, and honestly he can’t blame him. He’s holding back tears himself.

-He’s so proud of his boys and who they’ve become. He’s proud of Red Boy for not trusting him immediately. It meant he did his job to keep him safe in the underground. He’s proud of Soft Edge for achieving his goals. So what they’re rough around the edges? They’re alive.

-They live together on the surface.

-He’s 8 ft tall. He likes to tease Red Boy for ending up short.

-The surface??? Is so different??? He’s baffled.

-There’s cute shit and edgy shit. How the fuck is he supposed to choose between these things. He’s serious.

-Very indecisive when choosing shit. Like he likes both the cute things and edgy things. Though he leans toward edgy more, it’s hard for him to deny anything cute.

-He’s all about adapting to new living situations, so he’s proactively trying to improve.

-Literally makes notes on a notepad so he doesn’t forget what’s acceptable and what isn’t.

-Watches some TV to figure out some basic interactions. Red Boy and Soft Edge also help him learn.

-he’s still a little rougher around the edges than his boys though. It’s surprisingly difficult for him to wrap his head around a peaceful environment.

-He argued with his boys on how many locks they needed for the door. They went with 3. The windows have 1 basic lock much to his irritation.

-oh my god he hates country and the pop genres. He thinks their bullshit and the grate on his nerves.

-his aura is terrifying and so he’s very difficult to approach.

-He fucking loves cats. He wants 20 of them. Soft Edge constantly tells him no. “WHY THE FUCK NOT?”

-Okay he knows he’s supposed to love the sky and the surface but could the sun shut the fuck up??? Just??? Turn down the brightness.

-He discovers quickly that he isn’t a morning person. Mornings are awful and whenever someone greets him with good morning he stares them dead in the eye looking utterly exhausted as he says, “There are no good mornings.”

-Please get him coffee. He is dying. No he’s not being dramatic get him fucking coffee. (he’s being a dramatic lil shit)

Underswap

Oddball

 -He’s not the riverperson. He’s still the royal scientist. But it seems as though he has more of Riverperson’s personality.

-Ya know Goop? And his dad jokes? Increase ten fold.

-Speaks in riddles it sounds like, but he’s just talking I swear.

-Look at his boys!!! His boys are good. He’s kind of,,, a weird dad. A parent figure who doesn’t know shit about raising a child let alone two.

-When Honey Bear showed interest and an advanced understanding in science and other things he instantly jumps on this chance to teach him.

-He’s a semi decent teacher. Some of the material went over Honey Bear’s head which frustrated him. He’d try to explain only making it worse. Honey Bear had random clicks of when it suddenly occurred to him what he was talking about and he’d become very angry at his past self because it was so easy.

-A chaotic neutral kind of person.

-what a fucking brat holy hell. Shit eating grins are his signature smile.

-He loves to go around and calling random things cursed for no apparent reason.

-enjoys the looks of horror and confusion from people when he does something odd again.

-When he disappeared everyone was confused. No one knew what happened to him except the King and Queen along with Honey Bear and Sassberry.

-He’d only been able to teach Sassberry some music theory, and Honey Bear sewing. He was very disappointed.

-spent his time in the void listing what he was gonna teach his sons. It kept him from going insane.

-During a reset, he was spit out of the void like a spitting bullet when they arrived to the surface. He keeps a close eye on Chara to make sure they don’t reset. Who knows what’ll happen if they did, he’s finally out and he refuses to go back to the void. Chara is semi terrified of him and making him made so they refuse to reset. Even went to the point of breaking the reset button. This makes things a million times better between the two.

-The day he disappeared he had asked Honey Bear a riddle. “How is a raven like a writing desk?”

-Honey Bear tackled him to the ground he was so happy to see him, and the first thing he says to him, “I’ve been thinking about it for what feels like 50 years of how a raven is like a writing desk and I need to know. How?” He shrugs and gives him a shit eating grin. “How would I know I’ve been in the void for 50 years.” Honey Bear is screaming.

-He lives with his sons after that still though.

-He is a mess to live with. He leaves shit everywhere and he has to ask constantly where he put something down.

-Sweet tooth. He visits Sweetby’s cafe often and has become good friends with him.

-doesn’t make puns but he thoroughly enjoys hearing Honey Bear make them.

-He’s 5’4. Taller than one son, shorter than the other. He’s fine with this.

-he’s very poor at reading a room. He says such weird shit that people generally have a hard time understanding him, but when he gets weird awkward stares is when he figures out he needs to probably shut up and pay attention to what the fuck is going on.

-He wants to teach people things.

-loves to learn and he grabs too many fucking books at once to learn something.

-Seems to oddly? Be a genius at languages and he quickly learns French, German, and Russian.

-makes random noises because he feels like it while he does things. Sometimes it’s just random humming other times it’s squawking.

-kind of has hipster tastes but just cause he likes really weird shit.

-loves spicy food that feels like you’re standing on the surface of the sun.

Swapfell

Worrywort

 -Paranoia and anxiety bean

-also the royal scientist.

-He double checks his work about a hundred times before doing anything.

-He’s the epitome of internal screaming, but is calm on the outside.

-A fondness for riddles. He doesn’t indulge them often because it pisses off a lot of monsters.

-taught his boys how to hide and keep out of trouble. He also taught them ambush attacks, and other guerilla tactics. It was in case they ever got in a fight. Hit and run tactics would keep them alive.

-Is an amazing at strategy for combat surprisingly. He learned about it because of how the underground became so vicious.

-he has a billion locks on the doors. Windows have iron bars he welded on them. They’re wide enough for hands to reach through and open the window but that’s it.

-Was a very stressed bean with his work as the royal scientist. He brought his boys to the lab constantly just so he could relax enough to work.

-Undyne worked with him closely, and ended up becoming friends with Rus. Undyne ended up being a close family friend.

-Voice of reason. Please don’t do the thing. That thing is bad. How does he know? It’s literally written on the thing.

-When they started working on the core, he started writing notes for the boys. They were full of advice, and reminding them he loved them very much. He made them in case something bad happened because of how dangerous the project was.

-HE TOLD UNDYNE THE CORE NEEDED TO HAVE RAILS.

-He fell in during a check on the process of putting up rails.

-Undyne kept an eye on Rus and Scaryberry for him, but could only do so much since she was the new royal scientist. She kept them afloat for as long as they needed. He appreciated this deeply. He noticed she took care of them financially for as long as she could.

-he blames himself for Scaryberry’s anxiety and Rus’s extreme levels of stress. That was… his bad. He must have looked rather frantic to the kids which couldn’t have been very good for them.

-He spent a lot of time crying in the void. At least they had his letters to look to for guidance even if it didn’t cover all of their problems.

-He experimented with the void and managed to cause a reset that spit him out of the void. He doesn’t understand what happened but he accepts this bullshit.

-He finds the fallen child immediately and explains what he did, and apologizes. He begs for them to do another pacifist route, one last time. Chara wanted to live on the surface with everyone and agreed. With his help after breaking the barrier, he helped them break the reset button. It scared Chara but, he reassured them it was the right thing to do.

-7 ft tall. He’s on the taller side for monsters.

-His reunion with his boys is full of tears for everyone. Scaryberry is crying. He always wanted to know his dad and he has the chance to do that now.

-He lives with his sons because he missed too many years with them.

-He takes turns cooking with Rus, but Rus is much better than him at cooking.

-He’s okay at cleaning. He doesn’t clean up often though and will tag team a room with Scaryberry.

-He’s got insomnia, and so he struggles with sleep. He passes out on the couch often and when he wakes up he gets a bit startled before he remembers he’s on the surface and not the void.

-When the boys leave the house he’s always making sure they have everything they need. It’s important to him that they have a way to contact him.

-He listens to music a lot to relax. It helps to a degree.

-Reads to Scaryberry a lot because he didn’t get to do that a lot and Scaryberry still wants to have that sort of childhood experience.

Horrortale

Eerie

-Scratched and clawed his way out of the Void.

-His body ended up being very torn up because of this, and he lost a limb. Specifically his arm.

-Do not ask about the Void. He’d rather not talk about it and suffers PTSD from everything he witnessed. He barely escaped with his sanity.

-His humor is morbid, and self deprecating.

-low self esteem from the void. Lets just say he wasn’t exactly… alone.

-He has a rather unsettling vibe, but so do most monsters from this AU. It’s not that he’s bad, its just that… you can feel he’s seen some shit.

-Loves his boys. He couldn’t confront them right away when he crawled out of the void because he was barely keeping himself together. Not only that he was not prepared for a brawl.

-not a fighter. I’m serious. You will kick his ass. You can be terrible and still win.

-pacifist

-Loves his boys! He’s so proud of them, and they’re so brave for everything they did.

-Axe was upset about him not coming to them as soon as possible until he heard about the condition he came from the void to the underground. Now he’s just happy he has dad back at all. He could’ve been eaten so easily… It scares him.

-Scared of the dark. Requires a nightlight or some form of dim light.

-He heard one superstition and then proceeded to look up others. He now treads very lightly.

-He starts to study mythology. He loves the stories and learning what Humans believed in the time they were underground. It seems they weren’t the only ones who suffered great ordeals.

-Not a goop dad. The Void was the reason for the Goop like appearance, and he was painfully and barely holding himself together.

-believes in the paranormal. He’s seen shit that he will never elude to that makes him believe. He’s not a fool. Is everything paranormal? No, why the fuck would it be?

-After some time of getting to know his boys more, they let him move in. He’s thrilled with this.

-Rate of success for cooking is debatable. Sometimes he just shrugs and says, “It’s a fire day today I guess.”

-he’s 5’6. The Void made him shrink a bit, and was originally 6’ tall.

-excitable. He’s not loud like Sugarskull, but he’s very eager to do things and talk with people.

-He understands monsters had done what they had to do to survive. He ends up learning about how some humans have been known to cannibalize without lack of food, so he likes to shoot that back at those who judge him. He also lists any other instances of cannibalism humans have shown if people continue their rants.

-He knows how to argue/debate. It’s an important skill to him. If he makes a mistake he’s reasonable and backs down.

-Actually pretty good with people. He’s generally well liked.

-Surprisingly functional, but there are days… Those days that pull him down in the void again and he can’t escape. He’s not grounded and they sneak up on him randomly.

-Nightmare every night, but he doesn’t remember. He wakes up smiling, but with a slight feeling of terror that he tends to brush off. He’s fine nothing happened as far as he’s aware.

-Constantly reminds himself he is safe. He’s with his boys. Everythings okay. They’re on the surface.

-Randomly stomps his feet on the ground to prove to himself that it is indeed real, and that he is indeed solid. He needs the reminder.

-not a fan of Undyne. He knows what she’s done, and her decisions as a queen were foolish in his opinion.

[thisaccounthasbeentransfered]

Project Nebula 1

The hallways were empty. Quiet. Or that's how I imagined. I hardly remember. I sat in the teachers' lounge, coffee mug in my hand, and about hundreds of student journalists surrounding me. How did I end up here?

An exhausting Wednesday afternoon, I walked into my Literature class, eyes locked on the tiles below my feet. I felt isolated from my surroundings. Where was I going? Opening the door, another student shoved me out the way. Hands in his pockets, hair perfectly groomed and out of his face. A smirk crossed his face.

"He popped him!" he exclaimed, "He looked like a goddamn rat!"

"Woah, what?" one of his minions gasped. Soon, everyone crowded his desk to hear this true story. But I didn't believe him. Not an over sensationalized situation only he saw. He propped his feet up on the desk, leaning back in his chair while students caressed his gorgeous hair and hovering over his $800 phone.

And there I was, hunched over, hair in my face, pupils getting smaller every time a student asked who is that? What's their last name? I knew it wasn't real. And Helix knew it, too. The bell rung, and I was the first to leave the room. Speeding down the mathematics hallway, I slowed down once I crossed the mens' restroom. Curious, I opened the door. Nothing but the flickering of the cheap lights. Tangled in my head was the question did that actually happen? Fights happen on the regular at my school. Right as I touched the door handle to exit, I heard muffled gargling from the biggest stall, with a sink and toilet. I quietly stalked pass the mirrors and the other stalls. White and black sneakers peaked from under the door. I knocked on the door. Nothing but a moan. I crawled under the door, holding my breath just in case he was actually just tying his shoes or something.

His oily black hair and pale skin sent a shock to my gut. His shirt pulled over his face make my heart burst. Thick, dark blood drenched everything. That killed me.

"No. . . this isn't real. . ." I pried his eyelid open with my fingers, "Can you hear me?"

"Why didn't you stop him?" the boy labored. His eyes closed and skin felt cold. Like an hand stitched ragdoll, he fell over, head colliding with the tiles. Blood stained my hands. Suddenly, my eyes opened. I was awake. Still in the same spot next to the boy. Still a mess. Somehow, the colors and lights around me, I noticed. My own body, I could move. I felt it was mine. These hands are mine, I thought.

Routy football players stormed into the bathroom like a herd of giant buffalo. I washed my hands in the sink already in the stall,and slipped through them like an ant traveling through grass. The question and my brain marry. The question was a perfect description of everything prior: why didn't I stop—anything?

That same night, I laid on my couch, scrolling through articles and excerpts. Anything with the word "murder" in the title. Nothing about a teenager or a high school. I heard a light knock at the door. Blood drained from my face. A knock at my door who isn't a relative or delivery guy? I opened it. It was Xander. Assistant student body president. His eyes pierced my own. He held a poster rolled up and tied with several bands.

"Peirson, the staff—"

"Peirson? I'm Castor!" I corrected him.

"You look nothing like Castor," Xander reubuttled, "Castor doesn't talk."

He invited himself inside and plopped on the couch. He unraveled the poster, which was an advertisement for the election of student body president. Peirson's name was on it. Peirson Ralston. I sat next to Xander, hunched and hands in fists. Legs crossed and licking my lips, constantly. Like a little girl meeting the lead of a boy band.

Wanting to stroke my ego, I asked, "What do you think about Castor?"

"Never saw his face; it was kind of a hazy childhood memory," he joked, "But I liked him okay."

Everything turned quiet. The trees outside were stagnant. All I could hear was my concerning heavy breathing pattern. I took off my jacket and tossed it on the floor. I observed the poster, trying to spark a conversation from that, but I feel as if he didn't come for the poster. Or me. For Peirson. I sunk into the seat. I picked up my phone, pretending to text friends I didn't even have. Xander jumped up and trudged into my kitchen. He opened my fridge and popped open a bottle of black coffee without looking for half a second. Wanted the snacks, he opened the snack cabinet. A cup, he opened my dishwasher. Not once did he mix up my pots and pans cabinet for seasoning. My eyes were fixated on his. Absolutely stoic. He set his glasses on top the microwave and toyed around with my silverware.

"Why do you have so many scars on your arm?" he asked, pouring the rest of the black coffee into the sink of already clean dishes.

"Um, I—"

"Did someone try to hurt you?"

"I'm not sure."

"I hope not; you're the best president we've ever had."

"Okay..."

I couldn't keep my legs from jumping like an epileptic rabbit. Being in the corner of the classroom with ancient, flickering lights made it easier to mess around. My shirt was soaked in nervous sweat. My hair was as oily as the dead boy in the stall. Weird comparison to say in front another person. I wouldn't even want to say that aloud to myself. I wondered if he was still in the stall. My stomach churned so violently, I couldn't even shower with myself, sleep with myself, or brush my own hair.

During a discussion about criminal justice, I got out of my chair and slipped through the desks. Mrs. Muller didn't even bat an eye. Once I tiptoed out the classroom, I darted to the restroom. I smelled a strong, Spring cologne ahead. And the clanking of expensive chains. Helix. I sped around the corner, but I kept my distance.

"Peirson?" he groaned, and prepared his fist to punch me. Blood boiled under his skin and he shuffled around, grinding his teeth as he spoke, "You lookin' for a another boy toy to mess with?"

"Where's Castor?" I implored, stepping closer.

"I-I don't—," Helix took a deep, hesitant breath, "He's in my car..."

Quietly, he reached into his jean pocket to take out an excessively decorated ring of keys. His back faced me. He pulled on his hair with one hand and clutching the other. I knew he was building up his fear until I left so he could spill it all out in private. Cry to himself. Although, I felt he deserved to feel bad about himself. As silently as possible, I tiptoed out the school through the backdoor. I avoided every janitor and staff that could report me to the office or give me a detention. Helix's car was park directly in front of a garage door where external services would deliver and stock supplies. I unlocked all the doors with the small remote. Every creak of a door made me tremble. Even if there wasn't a body in there, I can't excuse myself if I'm under eighteen. But Helix could.

He was right: Castor was in there. Laying on the cold carpet floor. I crawled into the backseat and shut the door. I wish cars came with curtains. I pulled the body onto the seat, his head drooping like a wet leaf. His skin was warm. I guess Helix had his heater on for a while. His hair was washed and trimmed. He sported a red lettermen Letterman jacket and dark, black jeans. The fact he treated him like a human mannequin sent scenes of mutilated corpses from horror films spiraling in my brain.

"I hated looking at myself in the mirror," I disclose (I'm not sure admitting to a dead person is disclosing anything), "But you look better than how I remember. I look better, I mean."

I imagined him saying, "You were always good-looking."

"Thanks."

"Prez!"

I turned to stone. Every nerve bursted into a trembling mess. . . I stuffed half of him under the passenger seat and covered the rest with my jacket. However, I was still blistering like lava ran through my veins. I turned to look out the window. Two roles of the student body, one girl and one male, scowled through the glass. They both wore thin black sweater vest and matching dress shirt and pants.

"Peirson, it's 9:50!" the girl scolded and pushed up her glasses, who I recognized as the treasurer, Harper.

"Oh, yeah, the meeting and the paperwork...?" I stuttered.

"Check the schedule and prepare accordingly next time."

"Wha—"

"This is the uniform the cheer team wanted you to wear."

She reached into her backpack, and pulled out a uniform resembling theirs. I rolled down the window, and she tossed it through. As she walked away, the male student came up to the window. His face was more relaxed the hers. He had the same strawberry blond hair as Harper, and the same glasses. I believed they were twins, but they had very non similar surnames on their nametags. His read Indigo Lynch. He gave me a seductive smile, although I don't believe he wanted to insinuate anything.

"Don't let her walk all over you; I got that covered," Indigo remarked. His voice sounded as he was just turning fourteen, still trying to adjust to his new, mature physicality. His skin was also just as tender.

"Open the door," he placed his hand on the door handle. My brain was slowly polluted with really weird scenarios of what could happen. It's seemed like everyone I met after I discovered the dead body had a strange aura. As if I could literally hear what they were thinking, or at least the gestures they were going to make. I unlocked the door. Kneeling right next to me in the backseat, he rest his hand on my mine.

In a soft whisper, he promised, "You and I are going to get your old body back!"

I kept blinking and counting my fingers just to remind myself that this was reality. He wouldn't stop staring me in the eyes until I gave him a response. He smile slowly faded.

"I— I just want to know how I got in this body," I stuttered, "I just want an answer."

"Don't worry; meet me at Clock Park, tomorrow so we can talk about this in private."

"What's wrong with our houses?"

"I don't want my parents to hear."