#don't throw those COVID masks away just yet

[jim-fetter-illustrations]

COVID's new highly mutated variant called BA.2.86

Ahhhhh yes, and as Ronald Reagan use to say "Here we go again".....

.......... and I know some of you out there are thinking 'who is Ronald Reagan', and he was the last great president America had before the decline of democracy,.... anyway that's another history lesson, let's move onto the current tragedy of humanity..........

"WERE BACK"....... that's the new strain of COVID talking!

Ya see, Health authorities and scientists around the globe are now studying COVID's new highly mutated variant called BA.2.86, a variant spreading in multiple countries around the world and at least three different U.S. states.

And this new highly mutated variant is one bad mother, because if you've been vaccinated with all 3 of those COVID vaccines, they seem to be worthless against COVID-BA.2.86 as this new virus struggles to survive in its newly found world of Human Hosts.

And For about 100 years, the scientific community has repeatedly changed its collective mind over what viruses like COVID are. First seen as poisons, then as life-forms, then biological chemicals, viruses today are thought of as being in a gray area between living and nonliving (meaning we don't know what they are),..... But we do know they cannot replicate on their own but can do so in the Human Body as a host quite well.

Don't worry about becoming a zombie like creature, that's not likely to happen,...... you'll just eventually die because the human body can't take the metamorphosis COVID tries to change inside you, and the virus dies with you.

Ya see,... the virus doesn't know your so weak of a life form that your body won't support it, otherwise if it did it wouldn't have infected you, and maybe moved on to the Trump supporters who are already low intelligence semi-zombie creatures who seem to have adapted to the COVID controling their lives.

It's just like when your out Quail hunting and you bag that bird, take it home, cook it up and realize "There ain't much meat on this bird, is there", but you didn't know that as the barrel of your gun aimed down on that plump looking Quail that is in reality mostly feathers than meat, but now you do know Quails are the worst choice for a meaty meal,...... and you could have just stayed home and shot the chicken running around your yard and eaten more meat.

Understand now????

Anyway just keeping up with the COVID trends here, It is easy to see why viruses have been difficult to pigeonhole.

The only positive thing about any of this is Molecular biologist career fields are skyrocketing for all you college students out there, so ya might take advantage of an upcoming High-Paying job, and change your major from basket weaving to Molecular Science.

Just another reason I'm glad I live out in the woods away from most of the population that thinks they don't have to wear a mask, because they think COVID is a hoax..........

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[jssysimp]

hypochondria (gn!reader & wilbur soot & tommyinnit)

thank you for the request! i hope you enjoy this and I'm so sorry if it isn't medically accurate :( <33

1rst?? 2nd?? person pov for majority of the oneshot (idk, but i do know i am not used to write in this type of pov- 🚶‍♀️💀)

I'm sorry if this isn't what you hoped for when you requested this :(

tw: mention of covid-19, mention of death, panic attack, self-harm from panic (self inflicted scratches on the arms)

~~~~~

You stare at the TV, a whole other program had just started, but your thoughts lingered on the news, the anchors had been talking about the symptoms with a doctor, vaccines and the unfortunately rising number of deaths being mentioned.

You were curled into yourself, chin resting on your arms as you held your knees close to your chest. You could feel the familiar sting on your eyes, your breath hitching and slowly gaining a faster pace, as you thought back to the symptoms.

You tried to do the breathing exercises Wilbur had taught you but, it was useless. With shaky hands, you try to reach for the TV remote but freeze.

How many people had touched that remote just today?

What if one of your family members had Covid?

What if the 'flu' you had came down with was more than a flu?

You get up from the couch almost falling from the shakiness from your limbs, your knees moments away from giving up on themselves. You rush to grab masks, hand sanitizer and several cleaning supplies, including recently bought surgery gloves.

You put on a mask and the gloves before starting to clean your room from head to toe, changing the sheets, taking extra time cleaning you computer set-up and your room's doorknob from both sides.

When you're done, you clean the spray bottles with hand sanitizer putting everything in its place before rushing back to your room throwing the gloves and mask out.

You then proceed to take a shower, changing into new clothes putting on a new mask and gloves. You sit down in front of your computer opening Discord responding to any new messages you had yet to answer.

You're about to open Genshin Impact to try and relax a little by killing slimes with Kaeya when the familiar sound of a Discord notification takes your attention away from it. You look at it, Wilbur @ing you asking for you to join VC 2 to talk with him and Tommy.

"Hey guys!" You exclaim turning on your camera

"Are you wearing a mask Y/N?" Wilbur asks with an amused, yet fond tone

"Oh, yeah, I'm feeling sick and I don't want to risk it." You answer

Your finger unconsciously twitching at the brief anxiety of the question. You hadn't told them anything about your medical condition, it hadn't been a necessity so far, at least, not that you thought it was...

"Still, isn't wearing a mask a little too much?" Tommy asks with a confused frown "I doubt that it's covid anyways. And even if it was, you probably wouldn't die!" He says with a jokingly tone

You freeze at the 'probably', your hands starting to shake as your chest tightened and tears filled your eyes, your breathing becoming ridged. You hear someone calling for you, but it's too muffled to your ears for you to be able to distinguish who it was.

You hold onto your chest, coughing every now and then and the only other sound you made were barely audible sobs as you thought of how you could die and would if you caught covid.

"Y/N?" Wilbur calls with a soft tone

"I'm sorry Y/N, I didn't mean to offend you or hurt you with what I said."

"It's okay Toms, you can apologize about it later, okay? But it's not your fault, not exactly at least. Whatever is happening must be from something they didn't tell us yet."

"Okay..."

"Y/N, you need to breath, okay? Look at me, please..." You looked up at the screen

Tommy's eyes were filled with guilt and worry to the point where tears filled his eyes, Wilbur not looking that different, the only difference being the emotion in his eyes, concern covering his expression.

"Remember those exercises I taught you? Let's try those, you too Toms." Wilbur's voice cracks at the end

You focus on his words, trying to get oxygen into your lungs as he told you two instructions on what to do. Little by little, your breathing slowly came back to normal, cheeks shining from the light reflecting on the track of dry tears.

You continue taking a few deep breathes, the call falling silence as you tiredly leaned backwards onto the chair. You stay like that for a few more moments before Wilbur breaks the silence.

"I know you're probably tired and probably not in the mood to talk but, can you at least tell us what triggered the panic attack?"

"I have hypochondriasis. It's a medical condition, an illness anxiety disorder, either called hypochondriasis or health anxiety. It's basically worrying excessively that you are or may become seriously ill." You explain "Hypochondriacs experience extreme anxiety from the bodily responses that most people take for granted. For example, I may be convinced that something as simple as a sneeze is the sign that I have a horrible disease."

Wilbur nods still trying to process the information, Tommy frowning in concentration as he tries to remember what exactly could have triggered it.

"Was it me saying that you probably wouldn't die that caused it?" You nod as your hand twitches just by the mention of the words "I'm so sorry Y/N, I'll try to be more careful next time."

"It's okay Toms, if anything it's my fault I didn't say anything before. I'm sorry for causing you guys to worry so much."

"Don't worry! Although it wasn't an exactly great experience, it's fine."

"Why haven't you ever told us anything?"

"To be honest, I was scared of your reactions. Majority of the people call me an attention whore and say I'm just acting. I'm not saying you would say something like that, but, the years of experience make you hesitant to tell people, even if they are super considerate."

"It's okay, I understand. It's just unfortunate that we can't hug you right now, you know, distance and everything."

"That's what you're worrying about?"

"Obviously! You have told us what happened and there's nothing to discuss, to be honest. Sure, a warning about your condition would have been great but, you had reasons to not mention it."

"Plus, I bet you're tired. We aren't about to bomber you with questions, especially after that attack."

"Oh... Thank you."

"You're welcome. What were you doing before joining the call?" You give them a little smile at the change of subject before mentioning the fact that you were about to play Genshin

And that's how you spend the rest of the afternoon, the thoughts of earlier long gone as you relax because of the two British man talking with you.

[relatablemormonmoments]

It sucks growing up American Christian (no frame of reference for other cultures, but I'm sure it's the same) because we are always fed this idea that marriage is the end game, and that if you aren't married or attempting to be married, then you're a failure. I know its the same for other cultures and religions, but it feels especially true having been raised mormon and watching both my evangelical and catholic friends/acquaintances go through the same thing. People lose themselves in the pursuit of marriage, and they throw their lives away to attain this cultural standard, sometimes as young as barely legal.

I'm Aro Ace, and im not particularly fond of the idea of dating, or even marriage for that matter. To me, it's not something I want, it's inconvenient, and considering my future career, would be difficult to maintain on both sides. Yet still, especially as I'm entering my 20s, I feel this pressure to date and get married, and settle for something and someone I don't want. Young men in particular have lashed out when my answer is that I just want to make friends at this time.

"You're so pretty! Why are you giving me your time if you don't want to date me?" And I unmatch and block and end what was perfectly fine as friends. They feel the pressure too. The pressure to be defined by a special someone, the pressure to have a "me and you."

In America there's this big culture of going to college just to find a boyfriend or a husband, especially at Christian colleges. I remember begging my friends at church to not date if they went to BYU. I didn't want to see them marry someone in three months just because they felt like they needed to.

I look through my socials and they all seem to think that I'm a bride or a mother and that just freaking stinks. One woman smiles and says "I'm happy to serve my husband and not myself. God smiles on our marriage for my sacrifice." I ask in turn "How does your husband serve you? Are you truly happy, or just a slave?" They lament over the outside aspects, the dress, the children, the bouquet, the cake, happy happy happy, but really it's a sham. A mask, a facade, and really who gives a damn?

My mother was married by my age, and the young women I grew up looking up to weren't far behind. I watched young women and men who were previously adamant about not getting married then settle for the first or second partner they tried. Two of my friends are getting married "as soon as he gets a stable job" despite not being very compatible.

Divorce, previously a low statistic, has been on the rise since Covid-19 forced people to essentially be with their life partners 24/7. What is marrying for the convenience of being married but a shackle to the freedoms of those who would otherwise benefit from being single? What is a world that prioritises romance and this idea that there is love for everyone, that everyone will find their person, what is that world but a mountain of lies?

Marriage used to be an economic agreement between families, now it seems to assign some personal or moral status. Am I saying we should still assign dowries and bride fees? No, but maybe we shouldn't stress at all over getting married. Is there truly still romance in this world we call home? In my eyes it's not, most couples feel alone.

Amatonormativity, that is the word, the word that represents feeling pushed by society to engage in a normal monogamous romantic relationship. I have found myself listening to young men and women and finding myself bored but smiling and nodding in the hopes that I can hear those meaningless words "I do" and "I love you." I panic and stress and stress some more, this is not what I want, this is not what I'm for. Amatonormativity hurts more than just aros like me or those who practice polyamory, it hurts the gays the straights and those who can't wait. It's when grandma asks why you don't have a girlfriend yet, and when the government takes measures to encourage that women do anything to expand the population. It's when men feel defined by their lack of a relationship to the point of identifying as incels, feeling that it is not their own social shortcoming, but women denying them the right to their emotions and their bodies.

It is a shame that we focus so much on children and marriage, when happiness and potential are at stake. I feel as though we exist still in the 1950s or some other "backwards time" where our bodies are currency and status lies at stake. I don't want to be defined by a husband or wife, I'd rather live my own life. Even as I step away from religion and focus more on my own spirituality, I hear that persistent vision "You will find a worthy young man... Together for all time and eternity... find joy, peace, and happiness in your marriage and family. With your husband... with your husband... with your husband... you will return a better person." It feels binding, like a curse. I avoid the temple as much as possible now.

I don't want to be worthy of marriage. I don't want to feel pressure. I'm only so young and we only have so long to enjoy our time alone, to value our friendships, to value ourselves.

I want to have experiences and learn and live my own life. I want to be myself and love myself and know what it's like to be mine, not yours.

Why does it feel like it's being stolen from me?

I want to feel free.

[topsytervy]

Valentine's Day ~ Kelce

Blurb: Valentines day with Kelce

Word count: 1,210

Warnings: swearing, mentions fighting and drinking, spelling/grammar errors, i think thats it.

~~~~~

You didn't really believe in true love and shied away from love in general, so Valentines was always an iffy holiday for you. Until Kelce.

You didn't really know why you were iffy with love but if you had a guess, it was because of your parents. 

Not because your parents didn't show you any love, you got plenty of love from them. It's because they didn't really love each other. 

Your father and mother told you stories about princes and princesses and happy endings, but then turned around and shouted at each other every other minute for the dumbest things.

Your mother had told you multiple times that the only reason she married your father was to have kids and not hear your grandmother complain about having kids outside of marriage. She was always talking down about your father and blaming him for everything. 

Your father was drinking just to tolerate your mother and her constant bickering. 

You just wished they'd get a divorce instead of staying together just for your sake. 

These two people who were supposed to love each other just didn't and it caused you to have negative thoughts about love.

You had been Kelce's neighbor for ages and he had never been shy about flirting with you.

Calling you baby or sweetheart, holding your hand or just holding you, giving you many compliments that made you blush. People automatically assumed you were together despite you two not.

He was sweet and caring and knew exactly how to cheer you up.

Hey, I need to escape.

Kelce smiled at the text and immediately set down his controller to type out a reply.

Where to?

"Kelce, where the hell are you? I'm getting slaughtered over here all by myself." Rafe's voice rang over the headset. 

"Umm...by the trees." Kelce answered as he looked at his tv for a second before looking back at the three dots popping up, signalling you were typing.

"Why are you there?" Rafe asked.

"Cause that's where I stopped."

Anywhere. It could be the junkyard for all I care. I just need to get out. 

Come on over and then we'll leave.

"Kelce? Hello? Am I talking to air?" 

"Rafe, man. I gotta go."

"Wait, what?"

"Something came up. I'm sure Top will play with you."

"Not Topper." Rafe groaned.

"It'll be fine. It's Y/N." Kelce told him.

"Figures." The older boy mumbled. "Tell her I say hi."

"Will do." 

And then Kelce signed out and turned everything off, throwing on some shoes before grabbing his keys and dashing to the front door.

He bid his parents goodbye and walked to his car as you walked across the lawn separating your two homes.

"We can go to the overlook if you want." Kelce suggested once you had gotten into the car. 

You smiled. "That sounds great, Kelc."

He stopped and got ice cream, handing you yours and placing his in the cupholder, before driving in the direction of the overlook.

"You know, my doors always open. You don't have to text me. My parents like you and are always happy to see you. There's no problem with you just walking in." He told you.

You nodded. "Thanks."

"No problem, sweetheart."

When you two had arrived, you sat in silence as you ate your ice cream. Kelce opened his mouth to speak but you did first.

"I'll pay you back for ice cream and gas money." 

He shook his head. "No. It's fine."

"Kelce, you're always doing things for me. Let me do something for you." 

"How about a date then?" He turned to look at you.

"A date?"

He nodded. "I'll let you pay for your half if you want to but I'm 100% okay with paying for the full meal. One date. That's it. I'll consider it even."

You chewed on your bottom lip before nodding. "Alright." 

One date turned into two though and two turned into three, and so on. Soon you were dating for four months and it felt like you blinked.

Kelce made you forget about home and Kelce's parents made you feel at home whenever you were at his. You two worked so well together. A match made in heaven, some would say.

Because of COVID, you and Kelce weren't hanging out as much and agreed that you two would figure out something for Valentines day since Kelce had just gotten tested and was waiting for his results.

You sighed as you took off your mask and trudged up the stairs to your bedroom, both your parents still at work and you just getting home.

You threw open your bedroom door and gasped.

Flowers sat on your nightstand along with a box of chocolates and a little box with a bow.

You smiled as you pulled out your phone and facetimed Kelce. 

"Hey. How was work?" He asked after he answered. 

"It was alright. How was your room?" 

"Bland. How's yours?" 

"Different from when I left. You sneaking into my house, Kelc." You teased.

"Only way I could give you your gifts, sweetheart." He beamed. "Have you opened the box yet?" 

"No. I decided to wait and open it on camera. Thought you'd want to see my face."

"I always wanna see your face baby." He replied smoothly.

You giggled before grabbing the box and sitting down at your desk, propping up your phone before undoing the ribbon.

You lifted the lid of the box and grinned, lifting up the charm bracelet. "Oh, Kelce."

"I remember you said something about always wanting one since your grandmothers was too big for your wrist and I figured you could take the charms off your grandma's and put it on that one. You know, to have a part of her with you." He shrugged.

You smiled and wiped away a tear. "You think you can stand outside my window and I can lower my gift to you?" You asked.

He nodded and you saw him grab a mask before making his way out of his bedroom.

You grabbed his gift and grabbed a ball of yarn, tying it around the gift before heading towards your window. You opened it to see your boyfriend standing there and grabbed the scissors from your desk before slowly unrolling the yarn and sending his gift down.

"Well, aren't you a modern day MacGyver?" He laughed.

You shushed him and he grabbed the box before you cut the yarn.

You watched him open it before smiling. "A bracelet and a shit ton of candy to hold me over until I get my results." He hollered up at you as you heard his voice through your phone as well. 

You nodded. "Figured you could use the candy and…" You walked over to your phone and held up your wrist that sported the same bracelet. 

You tapped the bracelet and he saw his bracelet light up. He grinned up at you and you smiled down.

"I love you, Kelc."

Kelce's grin widened. He didn't expect you to say those words first.  He thought he would have to.

"I love you too, Y/N/N."

You smiled once more before ushering him back inside. "Now go back inside and I'll catch you up on my dumbass coworker."

~~~~~

[weekendwarriorblog]

The Weekend Warrior 5/7/21: WRATH OF MAN, HERE TODAY, THE UNTHINKABLE, MONSTER, THE WATER MAN and More

It’s a new month, and I guess going by previous years pre-COVID, this weekend would normally be the start of summer. This year, we’re instead getting a summer with a lot of movies that would normally be dumped into April or February or some other uneventful month. That doesn’t mean that there aren’t or won’t be any good movies, but really, there’s nothing that feels like a summer movie until A Quiet Place Part II and Disney’s Cruella open on Memorial Day weekend.

There’s been lots of great developments, though, including the Alamo Drafthouse in Brooklyn reopening this Friday and then in a few short weeks, theaters may be allowed to be open with no capacity rules although social distancing and masks will probably still be in place. Believe me, it’s been a confusing week as the city that got used to being on the backburner when it comes to reopenings, especially with movie theaters, is now dealing with arguing politicians competing to see who could throw open the then most doors fastest. It’s actually pretty embarrassing.

That aside, this week’s The Weekend Warrior column is brought to you by the new album “Coral Island” from Liverpool band The Coral, which I’ve decided to listen to on loop until I finish this column, because it’s taking me so long to get through it. (Eventually, I switched to Teenage Fanclub’s “Endless Arcade,” since I hadn’t had a chance to listen to it yet…. And to an old standby, Royal Blood, with their own excellent new album, “Typhoons.” At least the record business seems to know it’s the summer!)

Before we get to this week’s new movies, a couple tidbits. First of all, I’m thrilled that my friends Larissa Lam and Baldwin Chiu’s documentary FAR EAST DEEP SOUTH can finally be seen by the entire world, or at least the United States. It debuted on PBS World Channel on Tuesday night as part of the “America ReFramed” series, but for the entire month of May until June 3, you can watch it On Demand HERE, and that is huge! (There will be other ways to see it that you can read about here.)

This is an amazing MUST-SEE doc that looks into the little-known Chinese communities that took root in Mississippi in the early 20th Century and how they became such a huge part of that area with their markets, also bonding with the African-American communities that were similarly dealing with racism from the typically white post-Civil War South. It’s not just a history lesson, and it’s an incredibly moving story about a family trying to find its roots in the most unexpected places. There was a good reason why the couple’s short “Finding Cleveland” won the Oxford Film Festival while I was on the jury that year, and Far East Deep South similarly won an award there last year after its World Premiere at Cinequest was almost scuppered by COVID. It’s amazing how much more relevant and important this film has become since I first saw it last year, since both Asians and African-Americans are dealing with serious racial issues, and this movie shows that more than anything, they should be working to boost each other rather than fighting. Do check it out On Demand this month if you get a chance!

Another musician making movies is Mr. Dave Grohl of the Foo Fighters. I mentioned his documentary WHAT DRIVES US last week, but I actually only got to watch it on Thursday, and like his previous film Studio City and HBO mini-series, Sonic Highways, it’s a fantastic look at the music biz, this time through a variety of artists who began their careers by piling into vans and driving around the country. That is, except Lars Ulrich from Metallica, who mentions that the band was never so small or indie that they didn’t have a bus. But Grohl has used his vast connections to bring in a lot of great musicians including The Edge from U2, Flea from the Red Hot Chili Peppers, and more, making this a very entertaining movie both for fans of the various bands but also live music fans in general. I gotta admit that as much as I loved What Drives Us, it did bring me down a bit since it’s been almost 14 months since I’ve seen any live music, and I really miss it. This is now streaming on The Coda Collection, which you can subscribe to through Amazon Prime Video.

Guy Ritchie is back with his latest movie, WRATH OF MAN (Miramax/MGM), which reunites him with Jason Statham for the first time since 2007’s Revolver, I believe. Statham plays the enigmatic Paul “H” Hill who works at cash truck company Fortico, responsible for moving hundreds of million dollars around Los Angeles each week. Fortico has recently been hit by a lethal robbery, and H’s team soon learn that there’s a lot more to their new coworker, who happens to be looking for revenge against the man who murdered his son.

(Unfortunately, reviews for the movie are embargoed until Thursday at 6pm, so I can’t tell you whether it’s any good or not. Until Thursday night. Sorry!)

But I will talk about the movie’s box office prospects, because why not? Ritchie’s last movie, The Gentlemen, opened in January 2020, during the “before times,” with $10.6 million, but that was more of a classic Ritchie ensemble crime-comedy. Wrath of Man is more of the type of movie Statham has been making over the past few years, a cross between a revenge thriller and a heist flick. In fact, Statham has done a pretty good job creating his own brand through a variety of action-thrillers as well as a number of franchises including “The Transporter” movies, “The Expendables,” and eventually joining the “Fast and the Furious” franchise as Deckard Shaw with Furious 7 in 2017. Statham then went off to make Hobbs and Shaw with Dwayne Johnson, which didn’t do bad with $174 million. Before that, Statham starred in The Meg, a summer shark attack movie that grossed $145 million. Statham going back to help his old mate i.e. the director that gave Statham his start is pretty huge.

But as I said earlier, those were all in the “before times” and with the box office the way it is, it’s hard to imagine that the exciting reunion of Statham and Ritchie can open with more than $10 million but maybe closer to $8 million, because MGM/UA just doesn��t have the marketing clout of a Warner Bros. or Universal. Even so, that should be enough to be #1 this weekend as both Mortal Kombat and Demon Slayer continue to fall away. Unfortunately, if the movie *is* any good -- and I can’t tell you one way or another -- then by the time reviews hit, people will already have other plans for the weekend than to go see the movie. So yeah, that’s pretty dumb on the part of MGM, huh?

UPDATE: MGM is putting the movie into 2,876 theaters and maybe I'm being overly optimistic, because, as you'll read below, the movie IS pretty good and reviews have remained positive with the American reviews rolling in last night, still at 70% Fresh at this writing. Maybe that'll help the movie do a little better, maybe as much as $9 million, although I'll probably owe MGM an apology if it cracks $10 million, and I don't think it will.

Mini-Review: If you’ve seen the trailer for Wrath of Man, you might go into Guy Ritchie’s latest thinking you know what to expect, because it’s sure being sold as another typical Jason Statham revenge thriller. Don’t be fooled by the marketing, the movie really is Ritchie’s chance to make his own version of Heat, an L.A. heist movie that owes as much to Rashomon as another movie being released this week.

Wrath of Man begins with the heist of an armored truck that turns deadly with the wanton murder of a couple guards. From there, you might think we know where things are going when Statham’s “H” company whose truck was hit, and on his first day, he stops a similar heist by killing the truck’s attackers. H is immediately the hero of the company, although he still has quite a few suspicious coworkers and the feeling is quite mutual. Ritchie’s film then slips into the second episodic chapter which goes back five months to that initial heist where we learn that Statham’s son was killed by being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

I don’t want to go too much deeper into how the movie and story play out, because like The Gentlemen and some of Ritchie’s more intricate films, there’s a lot that purposefully isn’t made very apparent at the beginning. To many, this movie will be seen as even more macho than most of Ritchie's films, to the point where even the only woman guard, Dana, being just as macho as the men. As the movie begins, there’s a lot of joke-cracking and crotch-grabbing, all while Statham’s character silently observes and only acts when necessary.

The film’s shift to more of a classic Ritchie ensemble does slowly take place, but by the third chapter, it shifts to the group perpetrating the cash truck heists with an “inside person,” taking the movie to yet another place that makes it more obvious that this is Ritchie’s attempt at delving into the L.A. heist genre that other filmmakers have done so well.

Oddly, Statham doesn’t have too many lines, acting almost like a Terminator in his determination to right wrongs, but as always, Ritchie puts together a fantastic ensemble cast including a number of great American character actors who we rarely get to see in such great roles. I was particularly impressed with Jeffrey Donovan, who has appeared in a number of otherwise forgettable crime films this past year. The same can be said for Holt McCallany as H’s truck driver “Bullet,” but Ritchie also cast the likes of Josh Hartnett and Scott Eastwood in smaller yet still significant supporting roles, all of whom become more interesting as you start figuring out who all the players are.

Like I said, the movie is fairly macho and the few women play very small roles, but it’s how things are set-up in the first few acts to then change course and build to an absolutely amazing third act that will undoubtedly bear comparisons to Heat. And yet Wrath of Man (which is actually based on a little-seen French crime-thriller) does branch away from some of Ritchie’s standards, first of all by being far darker and even more violent with any of the wisecracking humor that pervades a lot of Ritchie’s work to counterbalance such violence disappearing once the flashbacks begin. It’s all punctuated by a fantastically tense score by Christopher Benstead, which seems a bit much at first but eventually settles into the perfect pace and tone for the action.

Despite disappearing for a good chunk of the movie, Statham is still great, basically killing everyone as his characters are wont to do, but watching how all of the different ideas come together leads to such a satisfying conclusion that one hopes those who might be put off, thinking they know where it's going due to the somewhat pathetic and obvious marketing will give it a chance to see how Ritchie has changed gears as effortlessly as he did with Aladdin a few years back.

Rating: 7.5/10

After even a longer time since he directed a movie, Billy Crystal once again takes the helm for HERE TODAY (Sony/Stage6), a movie in which he plays comedy writer Charlie Burns, whose chance encounter with Tiffany Haddish’s lounge singer, Emma Payge, leads to an unlikely friendship, as he struggles with early stage dementia.

I’ve known about this movie for over a year now, and I was pretty excited to finally get to see it, since I was such a fan of the other movies Crystal has directed, 1992’s Mr. Saturday Night and 1995’s Forget Paris, and it’s just amazing to me that he hasn’t directed a movie since.

At first, it seems like it’s the type of meet-cute we’ve seen so much in Crystal’s past filmography, but his pairing with Haddish isn’t something that might work on paper, but in fact, their comic styles mesh so perfectly together that it’s amazing that no one thought of putting them together before.

Crystal wrote the film with comic Alan Zweibel, who adapted it from his own short story “The Prize,” which refers to Haddish’s character winning Charlie in an auction for a lunch. Actually, her ex won the lunch, and she decided to use it because… free lunch! It’s a pretty simple set-up but one that allows the filmmakers to explore some of the odder things that happen in life.

Much of the movie’s humor plays upon the differences between the two characters, and how unexpected their friendship is. I can totally relate, because I have a lot of good long-time friends who most people might never expect us to be friends, but Crystal, Zweibel and Haddish pick up on that and create a movie that’s very funny but has enough other characters around the duo toa allow their characters to show how they’re just really nice people. We see that with how Charlie takes a young writer at his late night show under his wing or how Emma livens up the bat mitzvah of Charlie’s granddaughter. Oh yeah, and Haddish sings. She actually has a number of great performances in the movie, and seriously, anyone who watches this movie is gonna wanna see a smart filmmaker put Haddish in a musical immediately.

The film also acts as a truly touching tribute to Crystal’s friend, the late Robin WIlliams, who was diagnosed with the exact same type of dementia after his suicide death, and knowing that fact, makes the film even more poignant. More importantly, it doesn’t use Charlie’s condition for laughs, and for that alone, I feel like this is ten times better than that overrated Oscar winner The Father.

Here Today’s biggest problems come in the third act when it feels like the movie is starting to over-extend its welcome, even going into somewhat expected places, but it recovers from that rough third act to land a really nice ending. Crystal has always proven himself to be a really strong mainstream filmmaker (ala Rob Reiner and others) who makes crowd-pleasing movies, and it’s so nice seeing him going behind the camera for a movie that’s obviously very personal but also highly relatable.

As far as box office, I certainly have high hopes that Crystal still has an older audience of fans who might want to see him on the big screen again. I’m just not sure if this will be in more than 1,000 theaters, and though I’ve seen quite a bit of marketing, I just haven’t seen Crystal or Haddish do nearly as much in terms of getting out there that would be necessary to reach an audience that might want to venture out into movie theaters to see the movie vs. waiting until it’s on cable/streaming. There’s also Tiffany Haddish’ fanbase, and there could be some benefit for the movie coming out the same week as her new CBS show “Kids Say the Darndest Things.”

I’d love to be optimistic with this making $4 to 5 million but it’s probably more likely to be closer to $3 million especially with capacity limits still in place for most theaters and the audience generally being older.

UPDATE: Maybe I was a little too optimistic, because I enjoyed the movie so much and it will probably be closer to $1 or 1.5 million since other reviews aren't as great.

Next, we have two movies finally being released many years after their festival premieres…

The Swedish apocalyptic thriller THE UNTHINKABLE (Magnet), directed by Victor Danell, is finally being released after playing genre fests in 2018 and 2019. It stars Christoffer Nordenrot as Alex, a young piano virtuoso who ran away from home due to his abusive father Bjorn (Jesper Barkselius). Years later, he returns home for his mother’s funeral after she’s killed in a terrorist attack on Sweden. At the same, there’s a virus that’s erasing people’s memories, but Alex is still in love with Anna (Lisa Henni), the girl he had a crush on when he left, and the three of them will have to help each other face all the horrible things hitting their home at the same time.

As I was watching this movie, a lot of it felt eerily familiar to me, but I couldn’t figure out why. The more I watched it, the more I realized that I actually HAD seen the movie before. Sure enough, I saw this movie over two years ago at the “What the Fest?!” in New York two years ago, and I honestly don’t remember loving it. Still, I decided to give it a fresh look, hoping to get more out of it on second viewing.

Some of the same things bothered me on this second viewing, because it’s really hard to figure out exactly what is going on and whether the horrific events are natural, man-made or a combination of both. For some time, we get so mired into Alex’s lame relationship with Anna, and when he returns home, his conspiracy theory-driven father is busy protecting a bunker that’s being invaded by foreign military troops he thinks are Russians. We cut between these two disparate scenarios while sometimes returning to the capital of Sweden and throwing in a few big set pieces. It’s so disjointed that you feel like you’re watching a lot of random unrelated events, maybe a bit like last week’s About Endlessness -- maybe it’s a Swedish thing?

There are aspects of The Unthinkable that are quite commendable, particularly those action moments and how the mystery about what is happening develops as the film goes along. Eventually, the film does find a more consistent pace, and things start becoming a little clearer, which makes the final act better than much of what we’ve watched earlier. Even so, it’s still quite annoying how long it takes to figure out what’s going on, even on a second viewing, and for most people, that may already be far too frustrating to get through it.

Hitting Netflix on Friday over THREE years after it premiered at Sundance is music video director Anthony Mandler’s directorial debut, MONSTER (Netflix), based on the novel by Walter Dean Myers. It stars Kelvin Harrison Jr. (Waves) as Steve Harmon, a 17-year-old film student put in jail, accused of murder in a bodega robbery. His defense lawyer (Jennifer Ehle) is trying to help him be released, but he’s fighting against the odds of a judicial system that sees him as a “monster” because he was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

I have to be honest that I did go to see this at Sundance the week it premiered, and for whatever reason, I just wasn’t feeling it, so I only really caught about twenty minutes of it. Watching it now with more time and a little less weary than I usually am towards the end of Sundance, I was able to appreciate Monster more for what it is. On the surface, it’s just about Steve’s case and how what really happened unfolds before our eyes and we learn more about those around Steve and how their influence may have pulled a smart and studious young man into the criminal world that now has him in prison with much more violent life-long criminals.

We already knew that Harrison was a great actor, but Monster shows us that he was already on his way to greatness with this movie that for whatever reason got buried even as it dealt with issues that have been in the headlines almost every day since this debuted.

Mandler takes an interesting approach, both non-linear and also with blatant nods to Kurosawa’s Rashomon, which is even cited by Steve’s teacher, played by Tim Blake Nelson. Jeffrey Wright and Jennifer Hudson are decent as Steve’s parents, but they’re generally smaller and non-showy roles compared to the moments between Harrison and Ehle. Much of the film takes place in the courtroom with flashbacks showing what happened through the viewpoint of whomever is on the stand, which eventually includes Steve himself.

The way Mandler handles the material may lean more on the artiness rather than something more mainstream -- Michael B. Jordan’s Just Mercy comes to mind -- but it’s just as powerful in showing how someone like Steve can be othered by society into being a criminal. Sure, there have been other handlings of this sort of material that I thought were better films, but if you know anyone who has ever had dealings with the “justice” system and know how unfair and horrible it can be even to the innocent, then Monster will certainly strike a chord.

Also hitting Netflix this week is the new series based on Mark Millar and Frank Quitely‘s comic books, JUPITER’S LEGACY (Netflix), another kind of twist on the superhero genre ala Amazon Prime Video’s series based on Warren Ellis and Darick Robertson’s The Boys. I love the comics, and I can’t wait to finally get around to seeing Netflix’s first adaptation of a Millarworld property.

David Oyelowo makes his directorial debut with THE WATER MAN (RLJEfilms), a movie about a young boy named Gunner Boon (Lonnie Chavis), whose mother (Rosario Dawson) is battling leukemia. In an effort to cure her, Guner goes off on a journey along with a teenage girl named Jo (Amiah Miller) to find the mythical Water Man, who can provide them with a magic token that might save Gunner’s mother’s life.

I’ve interviewed Oyelowo a few times before, and I really like him a lot, so I had really high hopes for him as a director since I feel he’s just a terrific actor. Unfortunately, the material here is just not strong enough that I think even a far more experienced filmmaker could make something out of it.

Set in PIne Hills, we meet Gunner, a bright kid who loves drawing comic books, but he has trouble connecting with his father (Oyelowo), so when he has an idea that might help his sick mother, he goes off with a head-strong teen named Jo, in search of the Water Man, a summertime adventure permeated by a lot of very bad low-budget visual effects.

Honestly, I’m not even sure where to begin with where The Water Man falters, because Oyelowo has such a great cast, including Alfred Molina and Maria Bello in tiny parts. The story is a problem, as is the writing, which is just so bland and dull, that there’s really nothing in Oyelowo’s direction or any of the performances that really can salvage it. Neither of the child actors have much charisma or personality, and even Dawson’s performance, which would normally be a showstopper is repeatedly lessened by the constant cutting back to the kids. (And as someone who beat leukemia myself, I’m never a fan when cancer is depicted in movies as a death sentence rather than just another hurdle in life that needs to be overcome.)

Oyelowo himself may be one of his generation’s best actors, but he brings so little to the role of Gunner’s father, maybe to not take away from his younger star, but it hurts that he doesn’t do more to create a stronger conflict by making the character more horrible to drive Gunner away. The actual Water Man doesn’t improve things when he finally shows up, essentially talking like a pirate but not even remotely paying off.

Honestly, The Water Man seems like such a misguided venture -- Exec. Produced by Oprah, no less -- and it might have been totally forgettable if the characters didn’t keep saying the title of the movie every five minutes.

Hitting theaters Friday after a festival run is Tran Quoc Bao’s action-comedy THE PAPER TIGERS (WELL GO USA), starring ALain Uy, Ron Yuan and Mikel Shannon Jenkins as martial artists once known as “the three tigers but now middle-aged men must set aside old grudges and dad duties to avenge the murder of their teacher. I’ve had a screener of this since last summer when it played at Fantasia Festival in Montreal, and I just never got around to watching it, but if I’m able to squeeze it in before the weekend, check back here for my review.

Streaming on Shudder this Friday is Ryan Kruger's South African comedy-thriller FRIED BARRY (Shudder), starring Gary Green as Barry, a violent street junkie who is abducted by aliens who take over his body in order to… well, actually… they do a lot of drugs, have a lot of sex and other craziness. It’s a pretty strange and bizarre movie that reminds me a little of movies like a lower-fi Under the Skin or Beyond the Black Rainbow, and much of it is driven by the insane and unique performance by Green and the odd characters he encounters that I think will find its fans for sure, but it will definitely be for a very select audience of genre festival fans, as this is by no means a mainstream genre film.

Speaking of which, another movie out this week which I wasn’t allowed to see in advance is Gia Coppola’s MAINSTREAM (IFC Films), starring Maya Hawke as a young woman seeking internet stardom by making YouTube videos with a charismatic stranger, played by Andrew Garfield, until “the dark side of viral celebrity threatens to ruin them both.” Yup, it’s one of THOSE movies. It also stars Nat Wolff, Jason Schwartzman and Johnny Knoxville, but I haven’t heard anything good about it, and I’m not sure my curiosity is piqued enough to spend any of my own personal money to check it out.

Hitting Amazon on Friday is the doc THE BOY FROM MEDELLIN (Amazon) from Matthew Heineman (City of Ghosts, Cartel Land), a portrait of musical superstar J. Balvin, as he prepares for a massive sold-out stadium show in his hometown of Medellin, Colombia, which is hindered by the growing civil unrest in the area.

Lots of other movies this week, but a few that i just wasn’t able to get to this week, including:

ABOVE SUSPICION (Lionsgate) INITIATION (Saban Films) ENFANT TERRIBLE (Dark Star Pictures) QUEEN MARIE (Samuel Goldwyn Films) SILO (Oscilloscope) CITIZEN PENN (Discovery+)

That’s it for this week. Next week, Chris Rock and Samuel L. Jackson star in SPIRAL: FROM THE BOOK OF SAW (Lionsgate) and Angelina Jolie returns for the thriller THOSE WHO WISH ME DEAD (New Line) and Timur Bekmambetov’s thriller, PROFILE (Focus Features). That’s right. This will be the first weekend in over a year where we’ll have three or maybe even four new wide releases.

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

Do not protect and go the distence for COVID-19 patients. You will die from it.

California was sent 170 broken ventilators. They sent them and had them fixed...

Point. You can just use an air pump for a blow up mattress. Use an electric one or have them pump their own manual one which is preferred.

Airflow in at a high rate of speed will force itself out. Like a cyclone. They don't need comfort of each single breath.

You're illegally trying to keep them alive. They only need airflow of oxygen.

Check yourself.

What are you doing?

Time and time again from Day One I have said only evil can get this disease

Why are you trying to save what will kill you?

I can go into graphic details. But i want you to simply logistically understand.

You are saving what will kill and destroy you and your kids and your family..

Would you resurrect Hitler or Stalin? Each COVID-19 patient is the equivalent.

That is what you are doing in those hospitals.

So i again have taken control and created hospitals where proper care will be given.

Realize why.

Why have I taken your independence away to treat and save lives?

You are irresponsible and not following directions.

I'm not here to shame you but shake you awake. With love and guidance..

I hope you all understand better.

I cannot punish you for your love of life. I refuse to. So I take away your "right" to care for such individuals that will kill and harm you.

This is the lessons of life. They are evil i said. They belong in jails. On Death Row

You are preventing the execution of Death Row inmates whom have been legally proven to be guilty with standalone evidence.

There is so many emotions of high intensity.

Stop feeling. Start thinking of your own safety. Your own sanity.

I say they are evil. A child with 800 years of daily hands on intense experience has diverted it several times to include only evil.

And you don't understand to comprehend in a way your actions make any sense.

You a life saver are attempting to destroy the world.

Is that your intent?

Or are you afraid to think on your own?

Afraid of change?

Afraid society will turn their backs on you and throw rocks in your face?

Why are you afraid? I am here to protect you.

I have not said stop giving them masks. I have supported hand washing. I have not said stop giving aide to the hospitals, my own company, the biggest in the world is sending directly from factory to hospitals. I support you and allow you the convenience of protecting your self from some something that won't even hurt you.

So you need to stop. Realize the person you're tending is not your child. Not your self. But a monster created with greed and only greed accompanied by violence and hate.

For you.

I have not once thanked the hospital workers.

You didn't wonder why? I didn't forget you exist. ABC kept posting thank them thank them. No. I could not. I care yes. But i cannot thank.

I can love yes. But i cannot appreciate.

The whole world with sanitation and social distancing disrespects and destroys my ability to easily kill with COVID-19.

But I must comfort and prove to our Underworld we will do all we can to accommodate and honor their existence.

I look at social media and all I see is a mess concerning COVID-19

What would not make it a mess is allowing sick people out. Not isolate. Quarentine with freedom like the rest of us. No hospital care mesns they die quicker and its actually not painful. There is a sudden panic but other than that it's a fair die in your sleep death.

It with COVID-19 is an average of 9 days.

Y'all are keeping them alive for months. And so you are torturing. Which is fine and acceptable.

But the disease must spread..

Clean door knobs because people are disgusting and don't wash after shitting. Or holding their Dick to per or after eating greasy food.

But don't sanitize for COVID-19

Clean for dog shit in the park. Grime and dirt in halls

The sanitation process of all this you don't understand. It's called janitorial services.

Cleaning what you never do. Finding beautiful things that is covered under centuries of dirt.

Clean the walls. You never do.

Hospitals don't clean walls.

Clean the walls.

Take pride in what you have that is good and you want to keep.

To rejoin the Union once you secede. You have to promise to wash hands and clean walls.

That has been set for 265 years. I didn't just make it up.

So I didn't have to tell you anything you would been told in 6 months.

But you humans need to get real.

Things are bad here. You're not making them worse because we are in a controlled and predicted environments. Otherwise i wouldn't have back up plans that go into immediate action.

So torture them and keep them alive longer --- but if you don't know that is what you are doing then you dont enjoy it. And you should..what you are making worse is for what happens to you. You are draining your own life from your soul.

I can't continue to allow that to happen. We predicted it would and so now they will go to my hospital

If you prevent a COVID-19 patient from going to my make shift hospitals you will be jailed and fined and labeled a terrorist.

That is horrible to do to you but what you are doing to Your mind and soul is worse.

You are a terrorist to yourself at that point.

So think about you. .what are you doing?.

All this time I've given you the facts list.

And you threw it out the window as if it Didn't exist..

You don't believe in human trafficking's existence? The earth is flat? You don't believe rapists roam this earth? Child abusers? You don't think any would hurt you?

Nothing bad will happen to you? You're innocent?

Aliens don't care. Evil doesn't care. Hate doesn't care.

I set you the most difficult of traps.

COVID-19

Wash your hands every one barks

Stay home everyone says

And you do. And you don't know why.

And no one has asked me to this dying day

David Muir has asked me a few specifics. Which I did explain.

I am asking "why are hospitals treating these ill people?"

I already said once don't be incubating sick people let them roam free and spread the disease

How many times do i need to say it?

I say i will pay you. One time I say it. You do it and you get paid.

Because I'm not paying you to do what is right. To do what yoh understand you do shit you have no ideas why but just because someone said.

Don't question authority that makes no fucking sense.

Amazon 38% of my employees were going to walk out and get abducted and enslaved into human traffic.

All they had to do was smell the bathroom. Look at the janitor washing walls two times a week the entire time you fucking worked there.

I'm just going to say it. You're stupid.

There is no other way to finalize it. You're perfectly stupid.

Stop being stupid.

Of that 38% 9% was going to be brutally raped.

22% of that 38% has been target marked for evil and illegal aliens full of greed.

Which means 16% of y'all are stupid. I do prefer the term naive in most cases but this was pure stupidity in Amazon factories talking about it needed to be closed and sanitzed. The air is sanitized 3 different ways. In a 4 foot thick carbon filter down lit UV air ducts of 17 feet minimum to 89 feet. Then in the actual building with lights on the walls and the air is cycled so it rotates past those lights 19 times a minute. Now what the fuck is wrong with you?

You thought you could trust some One that said they're your friend?

You wanted paid time off?

You just wanted to experience a protest? Mind you for no good of a reason. You may as well burned a cross in my yard and lit me on fire for my skin color.

What the fuck?

Don't do this shit any more. I said the world is dangerous. The world is dangerous.

Trust me my own soulmate Is as stupid as all of you 16%. He got poisoned by Radon. I looked at 1 picture and knew.

Matching goggles.

So Amazon you don't understand your facility is clean when your walls are bleached 2 times a week or when you get emails to wash your hands or use more soap when you do?

When the pandemonium occurred the email to reassure you with the facts of the cleanliness didn't come to mind?

Or that only evil people get COVID-19? And that is the only deadly one?

Matching goggles. Alex never wears goggles. I was looking and i was thinking he kinds look like a cop.. Sexy cop hot.

Then i looked at the other guy who doesn't but realized they have the same exact kind. And he doesn't wear a bike helmet. He wears a motor bike one.

And i realized that guy looks pure evil. I had him assassinated before daylight.

So there's all these EVIL people I say i will kill with disease. And you all stop them. Try to prevent that?

Look like i said my honey bun is a complete idiot moron sociopath.

So y'all don't think you're better than him.

I don't know this dude didnt escape the hospital on COVID-19 and steal an oxygen tank he wouldn't otherwise had access to because he only keeps radiotherapy at his home. Then rode down with Alex while on oxygen stolen from the hospital that he hid in this photo. Do you? He felt better because you as a nurse or doctor allowed him to feel better. To get better for a few days.

Hello. What the fuck are you doing?

Killing my stupid husband. The love of my life. I've never loved any one more than him.

And yet you kill him. You kill me.

DNA4U has a list of your only friends in the world. Don't play with any one else. Dont take advice from anyone else. Don't let anyone else in your house. World-wide. That is a command. You will be punished if you don't. Because you will do something stupid and hurt yourself. That is a fact. Proven by my nearly late husband. Which by the way he should had picked me up already.