#don't think i like the colouring but whatever

[secriden]

This line. God, this line! It has been eating me up inside for 2 days now, because let's not forget, this line isn't about love, it's about trust. And that has implications that make me want to scream.

It's a direct reference to this moment earlier in the episode:

At the start of this discussion, Style and Fadel still have a kind of playful air about their conversation:

Style: Oh? Not even me? Fadel: You're at 80% at best. I feel like you're hiding something from me in the 20%.

In this exchange, though, there's a sense that Fadel is issuing a challenge, like there's something specific which Style can do to gain Fadel's full trust. And while Style knows there are things he cannot (yet) reveal to Fadel, I think a part of him is determined to be as honest as he can be, which is why he issues a challenge of his own by asking for more specificity:

Style: What do I have to do to gain your complete trust?

Part of this question is a simultaneously inquisitive and deflective - What (and why) do you think I'm hiding (something) from you? - but there's also a moment after Style finishes speaking where he stills and goes quiet that feels... genuine, weighty. Or, as @airenyah has pointed out in her meta on Style in episode 4, the "grounded[ness]" in Style's demeanour is a signal that Style means what he's saying in the moment. Maybe about his own desire to be worthy of Fadel's trust, maybe about how he genuinely does want this relationship to be real in whatever way that matters to Fadel.

I think Fadel sensed that too, because the moment looses all the lightheartedness it had before. Fadel pauses, and then gets a look on his face that just... breaks my heart. There's a sombreness there, like he knows he's going to have to say something that makes him sad. Fadel looks away, and then down, before he seems to steel himself and says:

Fadel: It'll never happen. No matter how much you love someone, I just don't believe that you can completely lay yourself bare in front of them.

Fadel says this like it's fact. Like what he's expressing is something foundational and true and irrefutable. It's not even about his doubt in Style's honesty, because this statement has no qualifiers or conditions put on it to connect it to Style. Rather this is what Fadel fundamentally believes about relationships and trust: he finds the very concept of being fully known and still accepted an impossibility.

Sure, maybe this is because of the falling out (or betrayal or disappearance) associated with the former lover; but I also think it might be because Fadel is acutely aware not only that he's hiding a rather big and dark secret (not to mince words, but: actual literal premeditated murder), but also about what it implies about Fadel. Because being able to kill another human, coldly and clinically and without remorse, takes a certain type of person. Because, yes, Fadel has lived through an absolutely harrowing and traumatising event (his parents' murder), but it's also undeniable that it changed him. Because there's something about Fadel that twisted dark and which he never quite got back. There's an anger, a hurt that colours every moment of his life; that enables him to look a man in the eyes, smile politely, and pull a trigger.

And at this point in their relationship, Fadel's understanding of Style is that he's... well, kind of innocent. Especially in comparison to Fadel and Bison, and even Kant.

Style, who easily reveals facts about his life which Fadel already knows (winning a car tuning competition), making Fadel doubt his own instincts about Style hiding secrets. Style, who also reveals the things Fadel doesn't know, like the tender and secret pain of a mother lost to cancer (which, now that I think about it, Fadel may also know) and his worries about a father who "lost his bearings for a bit" (which he probably doesn't). Style, who tries to comfort Fadel in his own loss by offering a safe space and a sympathetic ear.

Style, who doesn't just see Fadel for his tragedy, but is asking to be given the chance to accept all of Fadel as a person. Style, who not only wants but has the capacity, to be the only person Fadel needs to rely on. Style who, despite the sea of differences between them, understands Fadel on a level that is so very foundational.

I'm going to slightly segue and mention something that may not resonate with everyone, but really hit me in the gut this episode: because I lost my father when I was 16 after he battled cancer for 2 painful years. And this revelation about Style has totally shifted and coloured everything Style has done in a new light for me. Because not only does this totally explain Style's sometimes almost stubbornly childish demeanour (it's common in adults who've had to 'grow up' too early), but also why Style shows seemingly random flashes of insight and maturity when they are most crucial. Notably, Style has this almost instinctive sense of when he needs to back off a sore point with Fadel that I couldn't quite put my finger on until this episode.

I've seen a few jokes about Style's awkward subject change, but I've actually got a friend who I hold very dear to my heart who was one of the only people to give me a sense of normalcy and comfort when my dad was on his last few days and then at his funeral. And part of that was the instinctive way she would know when I needed to just. Not be a grieving daughter for a few minutes. To get a small respite from the overwhelming hopelessness and sense of impending loss. To get a moment to breathe and gather my strength, because knowing I was never going to see my dad again, or hear his voice, or hold his hand was tearing me apart back then. Sometimes she'd talk to me about college drama, sometimes she'd introduce a new kpop video to me, sometimes she'd just ask me what I wanted to eat and take me to go have a meal with her. And sometimes there really just isn't anything else to say other than "I'm sorry." Nothing you say - nothing you can say - is going to ever, ever make this grief go away, and in most cases, it was better when people (especially those who couldn't really understand) didn't try.

And I think if you look at Fadel very closely, there's a moment of genuine surprise (Fadel wasn't expecting the subject change at all) and then... something that looks like fondness mixed with exhausted relief. Because I don't think Fadel was ready to talk about his parents yet. This was honesty he wasn't ready to give Style, mostly prompted because Style himself had willingly been so vulnerable that a part of Fadel wanted to reciprocate. But further down that path lies not only his darkest memories, but also the connection to the part of his life he is not willing to share with Style yet. So this subject change is a relief, it's a blessing, but it's also Style knowing when he shouldn't push any further with Fadel's fragile heart.

Which brings me back to how well the episode's theme of trust (both deserved and undeserved) was woven in this episode. This is true on multiple levels and characters but I'm not even going to attempt to touch Kant in this post because... Lord, that is beyond me at the moment. Someone else needs to do that, pretty please, so I can reblog it and scream.

It starts, somewhat unexpectedly, with Fadel asking for entrance into the intimate spaces of Style's life.

So, this episode was not about Fadel's fear of his own feelings, desires, or even affection for Style - that appears to be fully addressed in episode 4. I think that's why we see Fadel be so physically affectionate and indulgent of Style in this episode. He's come to terms with his lust for Style's body (hence his comfort in initiating sex), he's accepted Style as his boyfriend and so can enjoy Style's playful teasing (still reluctantly, but Fadel is still an introvert even if he's mostly enjoying Style's rambunctious nature), and give into Style's (and Bison's and Kant's) cajoling with relatively little fuss.

He's even comfortable toying with the edges of revealing his darker and more sinister side by reminding Style implicitly about how violent Fadel has the potential to be. Recall that Fadel knows Style knows some of his capacity for violence; he just doesn't know how very thoroughly Style is aware of the full scale of this truth. It does help that Style evidences no actual fear and, in fact, looks positively euphoric. Like, buddy, pal, dearest one... please control yourself.

And yet something very, very telling is the way the show makes it a point to depict Fadel very deliberately getting drunk during the double date. Even before the date has started, Fadel looks to be about half a beer in and we see him constantly drinking, drinking, drinking during the whole date. From the conversation about trust he has with Style while Kant and Bison are being off key and adorable about it, to after Kant leaves and Bison gets worried. And we've seen Fadel cope with emotional and mental distress with alcohol before, so we know that Fadel is internally fighting some kind of very intense battle even as he is also very clearly enjoying moments with Style on this date (most notably when they're dancing by the bowling lanes and when Style asks him to go home with him).

So here's my take: rather than being about love, this is about Fadel fighting to hold onto his own philosophy on relationships and trust. Because as much as I do believe Fadel believes he's telling the truth when he tells Style that 100% trust is "impossible", I think it's clear that's not what he wants.

What he wants is to finish this last job so that the only thing he can't be honest about with Style will finally stop being a factor in his life. What he wants is to fully and completely reciprocate the openness Style seems to be giving Fadel. What he wants is to switch off his brain and let his heart lead for once, to stop fighting a battle he has no desire to win anymore, only he can't. Trust (not love) is Fadel's final frontier, and one which he can't quite give up in spite of himself.

Which is why I think Fadel intentionally gets himself drunk here. Because he wants to let his guard down around Style. He wants to open himself fully, he wants to "lay himself bare" for Style, he wants Style to know the full truth and accept him anyway - and he gets so close, but can't quite get there - because he doesn't know that Style already has.

When Style says this, Fadel thinks it's empty words, not knowing that Style has long passed the bar Fadel thinks is insurmountable. And just like Style was able to offer safety and reassurance to the vulnerability Fadel was showing in episode 4, Style instinctively gets to the core of Fadel's darkest fears again:

Style: One day, I'll be your 100%.

This isn't (just) a promise that Style will wear Fadel's stubbornness down, or that Style will be worthy of Fadel's 100% (which, already, has me in tears, ngl). Beyond that, this is Style promising Fadel isn't ruined for this; that it isn't too late, that whatever hurts and wounds Fadel has can be made whole again. That the kind of honest and all-encompassing and unconditional trust which Fadel says is impossible can, in fact, be his. That Fadel still has the capacity to trust and be trusted the way he so desperately, painfully longs for.

I know a lot of people have said Style in this episode is writing cheques he has no ability to honour, but I think it's more layered than that. Because in a very significant and profound way, Style is wholly deserving of Fadel's trust. Because in all the ways that Fadel has ever known he should want, Style actually IS worthy of his trust. Style knows the truth Fadel is hiding, knows what this man is capable of, knows the danger of being in his arms, knows the likely nonexistent future Fadel has to offer him -- and wants him anyway. Style is a man who would stare into Fadel’s darkness and reach out first. Strip away the complication of Kant being blackmailed and dragging Style into his mission, and Style is literally perfect for Fadel. He is exactly what Fadel wants (and possibly has wanted for a very long time). He is, in fact, exactly what Fadel needs to ever experience anything beyond the shadow of a life he's had so far.

But oh, the cruel narrative means that Style is also, simultaneously, painfully undeserving of Fadel's trust; and this is something Style is very much aware of. I think that's why he's trying so very hard to be worthy in all the other ways he can be. Style's awareness of what Fadel is hiding enables Style to (counterintuitively) be completely honest about his feelings for and about Fadel even as he cannot reveal his motivations. So he gives Fadel as much honesty as he can: offers the vulnerability of his own pain and hurts; the comfort of his true understanding and acceptance.

And just as Fadel's vulnerability in the abandoned factory was met with Style choosing a form of physical connection that prioritised Fadel's pleasure (it's made very clear that Style is jerking Fadel off and that all his focus in that moment was on Fadel, not his own pleasure), so too is this moment met with Style very intentionally choosing to worship Fadel's body with all the tenderness and genuine emotional weight that Style wanted Fadel to have in their first time in the storeroom.

Because, crucially, this was Style giving Fadel the chance to lay himself at least physically bare. This is the closest either of them can get to full honesty with the secrets they both are keeping. It's why Style tries so very hard to show the care and adoration and genuine feelings he has for Fadel. Why he makes sure that the vulnerability of Fadel getting himself as drunk and as relaxed and as trusting as Fadel can allow himself to be is tied only to gentleness and tenderness and pleasure.

Because Style actually knows that Fadel can't (and shouldn't) trust him in the way Fadel truly wishes to.

And as much as I believe that Style genuinely means this from the bottom of his heart, the horrifying full truth is that it is Style that has the metaphorical knife hovering over Fadel's chest. He is the one with the capacity to actually give Fadel a new scar that would truly matter. He is, in fact, the only one Fadel wants to fully trust -- and this, along with Style's compromised heart, makes it so that the circumstances will doom them both.

[aroaessidhe]

metal from heaven fans i have character design sketches for most of the cast I would love if anyone has Thoughts Ideas or Suggestions (gay sketches as a reward if you read to the bottom)

i did..... not quite every on page character, but pretty much everyone who's there more than once and at least vaguely described (or like. I'd do gwyar if it wouldn't be a spoiler)

all the character descriptions I have recorded are here by the way !!

some of the characters are described a lot but most are like.....their face/hair but nothing about their clothes, or the other way around, so for a lot of them I just winged it - part of the reason I wanted to do so many characters roughly was so get a sense of the overall styles and vibes? august said they were thinking about john galliano for fashion so I took a lot of inspo from that and also a heavy dose of western vibes.....fashion is not my strong point though. truly just stuck it all in a blender and slapped it on.

and also for most of these it's sort of first-or-second-pass designs - basically just getting an initial feel rather than really solidly Designed. so likely to change. I could definitely push a lot of them further!!!

fingerbluffs/choir etc!

sisphe is described with having sunlight trapped in her hair and then also a dark curtain of hair and it's PROBABLY dark but I did imagine her blonde initially because of that. going with blonde hair as a kid that got darker to compromise...

her disguise outfit isn't really described other than gloves but I kinda matched it to marney disguise (below)

harlow took me so long to figure out getting her face like I imagined and also like how I described....I'm not sure still. i love her sm

amon is accidentally giving victor arcane. the character archetype + colour palette I guess. I specifically made it blue/black with pink highlights because of the tullian gender colours though..

tbh I still haven't figured out how their bandit hoods work. I think they pull over from the back of the head but I can't figure out how to draw that in a way that works so they're bandanas for now

not pictured but what are we imagining the lurchers like. just fun punky sff motorbikes?

aristrocrats !!

i am pretty happy with my marney and goss (though goss could be shorter...)

wanna do more vikare outfits

yann i. chauncey supposed to be quite boring and nondescript but also. sure does like Like A Random Dude in this lineup huh

basically all of the bottom row are only lightly described so I just went with the initial vague mental image I had tbh!

could I put more effort into giving them more cultural distinctions / make the areas they're from more visually distinct? yes probably. it's hard to get a sense of some of that when some of the places are within ignavia and some are like.. separate continents - and there's no map to sort it out in my head. (you may notice i wrote where they're from in blue by the names though)

description: 'detailed traditional tullian/drustish/etc embroidery' me: here's some vague scribbles

could deffo get some more body diversity in here

anyway genuinely very interested if anyone is like 'I imagined x to be completely different in y way' or fancasts or anything else! i am so open to and interested in making changes if other people have thoughts (and like if you're not an artist so can't draw it yourself) (or even if you are an artist but don't have the time and want to make me draw it instead. i know the feeling)

----

thanks for reading here's sketches:

I promise I will post these properly on my art blog sometime. also if anyone has ideas for little sketches like these, of any particular interactions or whatever....

[aposterous]

Did a silly

I saw that Flix might be getting redesigned and decided to do my rendition of what I'd want in a redesign! More under the cut ✦

Traits list (some are on the ref but I'll expand on them here):

I changed the palette quite a bit. I like the original black and gold, but it didn't give me space vibes, so I wanted the highlights to vary more in hue. That might be a controversial move, but I like it.

Keeping with the colour change, the blood and fire breath would probably be pink here.

The eyes are on the side of the head. This is inspired by seagulls, and sort of by their herbivory, although I would make Flix an omnivore (if not a carnivore) if I could. There aren't enough omnivores in CoS and I think it would be a better fit for Flix than herbivory.

They walk on their wings and feet like a pterosaur, just because it looks cool. Plus it makes them look a bit less like a different font of bird.

Their wings look more bat-like here. Ideally, they wouldn't; I'm just not good at replicating the canon wings. I wanted to emulate comet moth wings (because comet, like space) but I don't think I pulled it off. I could settle for feathered wings in a Flix redesign, but I have beef with feathered wings in spec evo because they're so unlikely to occur since they're such a derived structure. But CoS is already so unbelievably unrealistic that it's not even spec evo anymore, so whatever lol

The hindlegs are syndactyl, so they can perch! Their toes are also webbed, so they can actually swim! And maybe paddle around on the surface like ducks (wait that's cute... I might animate that).

They have claws on their wings. These would help with perching and perhaps climbing (like if they needed to climb a cliff instead of flying or something; maybe for stealth.

The back wings are attached to the hindleg. That's the case in the canon design too, but I bring it up here for clarity and also to add that I (and I assume the original designer) based this on microraptor's hind-wings. Microraptor beloved <333

I couldn't add them here as they'd obscure stuff even more, but I think there would be a couple more comet-shaped shards down the back. They would be floating particles, like the orbs that they keep adding to new creatures.

I gave them little star spots to make the black areas look like a night sky!

You can't see it due to the hind wings covering it, but the tail has the same gradient as the little danglies on the wings.

I just realised this version makes them look a bit like the Flickaflie, which people seem to already mix up with this guy anyway, so uh, oops. I think they're different enough.

If you have any thoughts to add to this, leave a comment! I'd love to discuss and I'm fine with criticism of this design. I might make a second rendition if I become unsatisfied enough with this. :3

[thelovetheystole]

I wrote a little something, because I can't stand the current situation with Aaron. I don't usually share what I write, but here it goes.

Aaron's been pushing it aside, rather successfully, for months now. It's nothing in the grand scheme of things really, some shared dna markers and a last name. It doesn't affect him in their daily life together, at least it hasn't so far.

The first time it does affect him though, it hits him like a smack across the face. Actually, he would have much preferred a literal smack.

John's taken him out, wants to treat him, and Aaron's reluctantly agreed. It turns out it's that bloody Italian restaurant near the hospital in Hotten and suddenly he's having vivid war flashbacks of Dr. Alex. Aaron regrets the analogy off the bat, John is the one who's been to war and has both emotional and actual scars to prove it. Still, Aaron can't shake the images of the doctor with the perfect hair and how close he had come to cheating on him... with Robert.

The thing is, Robert can't be on his mind now, he just can't. Not that he ever can, but especially not now, when he's about to be wined and dined by John. Pull yourself together, he tells himself and attempts a faint smile when his boyfriend looks at him.

That's when the smack across the face blindsides him. He hears John say they have a reservation under 'Sugden' and it's like Aaron realises, for the first time, what it means. What he's actually been doing. He feels a bit sick, suddenly the collar of his shirt is too tight, and he can feel the colour is draining from his face. He doesn't hear John anymore, all he hears is a medley of "Mr. Sugden" and "Mr. Dingle" and "I love you, Mr. Sugden-Dingle first" and it's fucking heartbreaking.

'I have to go', he hears himself say in a voice he doesn't even recognise as his own. John just looks at him with wide eyes and an open mouth. Aaron takes off but not before John tries to grab his arm to stop him. Aaron shakes himself free, and mutters 'sorry' under his breath. He's tearing up and he knows he's making a scene, but he runs for the door anyway. The cold December air that hits him makes it even harder to breathe for a second or two, but being outside still helps. Being on his own helps too.

Aaron starts walking, hands in his pockets, eyes already red from crying. He hasn't cried about Robert in a long time, he doesn't even know how to anymore. He's locked Robert away, ironically, in a place that's almost unreachable. He's done it with Jackson, Ben and Liv too, but not quite in the same way. It's okay to grieve them, people understand when he needs to do that. They're all gone - Robert is too but in another, more dangerous, way. The others can't come back, but Robert can.

Given what Aaron knows about Robert, he will come back, because where else would he go? To find Seb, sure, but then? He'll come home. It might not even be that long, Aaron realises. Five years have already passed. It feels like twenty.

He feels the guilt creep up when he dares to actually think about it. Robert coming back to the village where he was born, became a dad himself, got married. Only to find his ex-husband living with his new half brother. It doesn't matter how angry Aaron still is, or how hurt he was about being blanked and divorced. What he's been doing with John suddenly feels wrong in every way. How could he have let it go so far? Why hasn't the people around him questioned it more?

His brisk pace has taken him halfway home. He feels sick again when he sees the lay-by coming up in front of him. Where he was with John wasn't exactly here, but it was close enough. Aaron stops in his tracks and wipes his eyes. He sees it now, what he should have seen all along; the lay-by, the barn, the woods... He's been living in deja-vu mode without even noticing. Has he been projecting his feelings onto John? Or is something more sinister brewing beneath the surface?

Well, whatever it is, it stops now, Aaron decides. He takes a deep breath and as he starts walking again, his mind feels clearer than it's been in a long time.

[sunshinerainbowsandlollipops]

Secret Santa gift for @marauding-almond! Merry Christmas and Happy New year! I hope you like it <3.

If you find a typo, please let me know so I can change it

"This year's been wild honestly," Sirius said, lazily throwing a leaf into the black lake and leaning back on Remus’ chest. It floated for a few moments before a bird nearby pecked at it - probably thinking it was food. The poor bird. 

"It really has," said James, "I mean if you had told me we'd be sitting here, at the Black Lake, with Slytherins, I don't think I would've believed it."

"I still don't believe it," Regulus grumbled, laying his head on Barty's chest. Barty laughed and Regulus smiled at the sound, revelling at the feeling of knowing that it was him who had caused it. 

"Ok, well if we're all naming things we can't believe, I have to say, I can't believe how long it took for those two to confess and get on with it," Lily said, nodding at Remus and Sirius, though it was really unnecessary. Everyone could tell who she was talking about. 

"She's right. Though to be fair, it took them about 5 years to realise their own feelings towards each other. Let's just be glad they got past THAT before 6th year," Peter said.

"You know, I can't believe we never figured out who charmed all the Slytherin banners in the common room to turn into Gryffindor banners. That was so long ago and still no one owned up to it," Regulus mused. Remus and Peter shared a look.

"Oh yeah that was us," Remus said casually. Sirius and James both sent him a confused look. Sirius spoke.

“No it wasn’t.”

“Yeah, it was me and Peter. You two were at quidditch practice, we saw James’ cloak, we were bored and thought why not?” Remus explained casually, not even looking up from where his hand was stroking his boyfriend’s hair. Barty on the other hand, looked ready to jump up and strangle both Peter and Remus. Thankfully for them though, Regulus was on his lap, so Barty had no choice but to stay put.

“IT WAS YOU TWO THIS WHOLE TIME? I spent ages trying to figure it out! I thought it was Evan sleepwalk-talking or something! I feel so betrayed!”

Remus and Peter burst into laughter. James and Sirius, after getting over the shock, joined them, patting them on their backs and praising them. Lily looked at the four boys with amusement (though Peter saw how her eyes lingered on James just a little bit more than the rest) while Barty and Regulus sat almost helplessly, still looking like they were trying to fit the puzzle pieces together. Evan looked a bit mortified, and it took Peter a while to figure out why but when he finally did…

“Wait, hold on, can we go back to the part where you said something about Evan sleepwalk-talking?” Peter said, still holding back laughter. Evan dropped his head into his hands, resigned to his fate. Barty and Regulus exchanged an seemingly exasperated look - but there was a slightly wicked gleam to it.

“Oh you know. Evan has this habit of sleepwalking, but sometimes he talks too. It leads to…incidents,” Barty started off, speaking louder than he really needed to, like had to make sure everyone heard.

“Yeah. Barty, remember that one time he accidentally cast an aguamenti charm and completely soaked himself in water? It looked like he had wet the bed!” Regulus picked up Barty's cue, also speaking louder than needed. Evan interrupted, finally having decided that he wasn’t having any more of this.

“Ok yeah, but remember that time at the end of 5th year- so last year I mean- when I accidentally walked into Barty’s bed and you thought he was cheating on you and you got so angry that you didn’t talk to us for a month? Even after I explained?” A smug look replaced Evan’s mortified one as Regulus coloured crimson and Barty smirked at him.

“Wait, was that why Regulus started talking to us? Because he thought you two were, you know, betraying him or whatever and I was the only other person in the school he knew? I suppose we have Rosier to thank for bringing us together then” Sirius jested. If it was even possible, Regulus burned a darker red.

“Ok haha very funny we should go back to the New Year’s party now.”

Peter saw the look of surprise on everyone’s faces - Regulus? Go back to a party? But everyone knew not to push him. Still no one moved, content to spend the night there, talking, laughing.

“We really should go back though. People are going to wonder what we’re doing,” James said, standing up and extending a hand to Lily. After a moment’s hesitation, she took it. A suggestive smile played on Barty’s lips at James’ words, but whatever he was going to say, he decided against it and pressed a kiss to Regulus’ head, urging him to stand up instead. 

As the eight of them trudged back up to the castle, James and Lily hung a little back, behind the rest of the group. Peter had a feeling he knew what they were talking about so he slowed down, waiting for them to catch up.

“What’s wrong?” he asked when they did. James and Lily shared a look and sighed, both turning their heads right to look at Peter. 

“Well, we want to kiss at midnight, but everyone’s going to know if we do,” James explained. Peter nodded, his earlier theory being confirmed.

“Right. Remind me why you don’t want anyone to know about your relationship again?” 

Peter was the only one who knew after he accidentally walked in on them kissing. That…was an interesting day, though it was not entirely unexpected. He supposed he had thought James would’ve told his friends straight away, and finding out he hadn’t had surprised him more than anything else.

“Because it feels so new and fragile and delicate. And honestly, it feels nice keeping it to us for now. Like our own secret. Of course, when we’re ready, I would shout it out to the whole world. My girlfriend is amazing!”

The two shared a loving look and Peter smiled at their affection. They made a good couple.

“Alright, well if I say that I don’t want to be kissed… and Mary has her boyfriend of course…Marlene and Dorcas…then Remus, Sirius, Barty and Regulus are already taken… and you two make sure to be together in between people who are already kissing someone… we can make it look like you two had no choice but to kiss each other,” Peter thought out loud. It was a very bad plan, but he knew no one would pay too much attention to it.

James broke into a smile and, after checking to see if anyone was looking, pressed a quick kiss to Lily’s forehead.

“See this is why it’s a good thing Peter knows, darling.”

“I suppose it is,” Lily sighed happily, clearly content with Peter’s plan, however vague it may be.

As they got closer to the Gryffindor common room, the Slytherins of the group held back as Sirius said the password (they had learnt to do so when Sirius had accused them of being spies a year ago). When the portrait swung open, Peter was immediately invited to the sound of laughter, music and chatter.

James walked in first, immediately being swallowed by the crowd. Everyone followed him in and started to mingle. Peter, as usual, made a beeline straight for the stairs to the dorms. They provided him with the best people-watching point since it allowed him to be above everyone else. A quick glance at the giant magical watch hovering in the middle told him there were five minutes till midnight. He supposed he should go find Lily and James to make sure they were in the right spot in a bit.

Quickly scanning the crowd, he found James laughing with his arm around Sirius, who was seemingly telling a very funny story. He found Lily not far from him talking to another Gryffindor girl, stealing not-so-furtive glances towards her boyfriend. He quickly scurried down the stairs to find his friend.

The crowd was dense, which meant he really had to shove people out of the way to get anywhere, but Peter had always been good at slipping through cracks. And honestly, it was always fun squeezing between the people; he would catch the most interesting snippets of conversation. Wrinkling his nose at a particularly squealy ‘he was so good last night!’, he finally reached James and tapped his shoulder. James turned to him and smiled, but Peter just grabbed his elbow and said, “It's nearly midnight.” As soon as James heard that, he grabbed Sirius’ arm and pulled him along too. He navigated James to Lily and then took them both to where he had seen Remus and the Slytherins (all lurking in the shadows like ghosts) and made sure to strategically place James and Lily in the middle.

As the minute closed, Peter saw everyone's conversations dwindle and every head turned to face the clock in the middle of the room. It had been a wild year, Peter thought to himself. A lot had happened and he found himself realising that he was glad he got to be a part of it. All of it. As the clock started counting down the seconds from 10, people joined in, counting out loud.

“10!”

Regulus and Barty shuffled further into the shadows - if that was even possible.

“9!”

Sirius pulled Remus out of the shadows.

“8!”

Peter saw Marlene and Dorcas rush down the girl dormitory stairs and mix in with the crowd. They had lost the two before they had decided to go down to the Black Lake and decided that if the couple wanted to find them, they would know where to go.

“7!”

“6!”

“5!”

Pandora, who had been missing for most of the party (something to do with New Years nargles? Peter wasn't sure) came and stood next to Evan, who wrapped an arm around his sister’s shoulder.

“4!

James and Lily shuffled towards the centre.

“3!”

“2!”

“1!”

The room exploded with “HAPPY NEW YEAR” and laughter and colour as people shared a kiss, shook hands, exchanged hugs. Peter smiled as he saw James holding Lily close and Evan and Pandora locked in an embrace. Which lasted for a total of 2 seconds. Evan let go and quickly pinched his sister’s cheek before she had a chance to do anything to him first. His friends came closer, surrounding James and Lily since they had been in the middle. Barty grinned.

“Finally managed to pull Evans, Potter?” 

Lily scoffed.

“Please. I just felt bad for him. Imagine not having anyone to kiss on New Year’s!” she said. “Unless of course, by choice,” she added apologetically, looking at Peter, Evan and Pandora.

Peter shook it off with a wave of his hand.

As a floating plate carrying drinks passed by the group, they each took one glass. Sirius lifted his in the air and said, “To Remus Lupin, for finally accepting himself.” 

And so they began their yearly tradition of toasting each other on New Year’s. Someone would start by toasting someone, whoever they chose. Then that person had to raise a glass to someone of their choice next. Since Sirius had toasted Remus, Remus spoke.

“To Lily Evans, for surviving another year putting up with James.”

“To Peter, for always being there for any one of us.”

“To James - He knows why.” 

“To Barty, for making my brother’s brother slightly less miserable!”

“To Regulus, for finally realising he’s a human! With emotions!”

“To Evan, thank you for bringing my brother and I close again. But if any of you tell anyone I said this, I will deny it - Or worse!”

Chuckling, Evan raised his glass last.

“To all of us! For finally realising that surprisingly enough, we make a good bunch of people!”

[starry-nights-17]

Just wanted to say Happy Christmas to you all and leave this here. A short festive story, set in the canon world but sort of AU (in that Ian is living with Clayton).

*Mickey breaks into the wrong house....but maybe it was the right house after all 🤔

(Some derogatory language ahead, not mine, all Mickey!)

----

Christmas was just around the corner, meaning Terry was working them harder than normal. And by work, he meant stealing. Breaking and entering.

Mickey was the perfect burglar. Quick, quiet and small enough to squeeze through tight windows. Tonight's target, a fancy West Side house, which featured a large expensive looking tree in the front room. At the base of it, was a pile of exquisitely wrapped presents. Jackpot.

Mickey jimmied open a window at the back of the house, expertly so, given the practice he had. He crept into the connecting living room, eyes darting around and ears on high alert.

Confident that the house was vacant, considering the car that was usually parked out front was gone, he started tossing the packages into a large holdall he brought with him.

"Mickey, what the fuck"

His blue eyes blinked into the darkness, until he eventually made out a shape and spotted familiar red hair and freckles. The Gallagher kid had moved away a year back. His sister Mandy had whined about missing her BFF for weeks, droning on about how he discovered his mom's affair and that the man who raised him wasn't his real dad.

He made a run for it but the kid grabbed his arm, "I can't let you take it Mickey, not all of it anyway".

His voice was soft, those green eyes even softer, an understanding there. Gallagher picked out a few packages and held them out to him.

"Your dad's an asshole".

Mickey felt his eyebrow pull up and his face scrunch up in confusion, "What's it to you, carrot top?"

Ian, that was the kids name, chuckled and took a step back, his face lit up in amusement.

"Just know what he's like, what will happen if you return empty handed. Just take them, I can replace them tomorrow".

"This a trick, you gonna call the cops on me or something?"

"Course not, South Siders don't snitch".

Mickey gestured around and caught Ian's eye, "in case you haven't noticed freckles, we ain't in the South Side".

"Whatever, I'm still fucking South Side Mickey and more than that; I'm still a Gallagher".

Mickey nodded slowly, feeling the kid was being genuine. "Well now I really can't take this shit", he sighed and dropped his bag, "fucking tainted or whatever".

Ian laughed again, a sweet and bright sort of sound that had Mickey's lips curving up at the corners. He didn't know why he was still standing there, hovering, loitering. And at the scene of a crime, although technically he hadn't stolen anything.

"You want a beer or some hot chocolate or something, Clayton, um I mean my Dad and his wife are out, won't be back for hours".

Mickey snorted out a laugh, "you fucking serious, you like retarded or something? I just tried to rob you and now you're offering me hot chocolate?"

Ian grinned and shrugged casually, "not like I haven't stolen shit before. I get it. I know you haven't exactly got a choice Mickey. And," he paused and looked away, almost shyly, "miss the South Side I guess, don't see my family as much as I'd like. Figured you could catch me up on shit, on Mandy".

"That annoying bitch," he joked, "she's still a pain in my ass and a huge slut. There, all caught up freckles".

He turned to leave, feeling awkward now and feeling his cheeks flush with colour as the goofy kid smiled confidently back at him. It was as though he actually liked Mickey's abrupt manner or some shit.

"C'mon Mick, I'll even toss in some marshmallows. I remember you have a sweet tooth".

Mickey raised his eyebrow in a question, "the fuck you know that?"

Ian laughed and started towards what he presumed was the kitchen, "you think I didn't know about all those snickers you swiped from the store?"

Before he registered it, he was walking forward, following him, as if he was a magnet being drawn in that direction.

"You fucking stalking me or something, watching me, kinda creepy man".

His tone was easier and lighter than intended. Shit, he almost sounded like he was dangerously close to flirting.

Ian cocked his head and studied his face for a second before replying, with a wide devilish grin.

"Kinda my job Mick, to keep my eyes on you".

Mickey tried to hide an emerging smile with his hand and was forced to look away, from that intense green gaze. His skin felt electrified and he was sure his cheeks were glowing.

"Well it's not anymore, guess you don't need a job since you moved up in the world".

Ian set a large mug down in front of him, complete with mini pink and white marshmallows floating on top.

"Not so sure I did," Ian paused and seemed thoughtful, "kinda miss it, working, earning money, even miss the fucking ghetto".

Ian laughed dryly and Mickey shook his head at him in disbelief.

"I just mean it's different here, fucking boring and like dad's just trying to make up for lost time so he never yells or says no. Its weird".

"Oh poor you, shit, you don't know how lucky you have it man. Complaining like a spoilt princess about being rich and living in a place like this, where you don't get a black eye every other day".

"You think I don't hear myself Mick. Course I know I sound like a prick. I just don't feel like I belong here. I don't fit in. I don't know how to live this fucking normal life".

"Well, I'd swap places with you any day," he muttered, blowing on the hot chocolate before talking a long satisfying sip. Damn, it tasted good, like proper expensive shit, not that crappy dollar store stuff that masqueraded as "chocolate".

"I'm sorry, I know I suck. I go to a great school and have everything I want. Meanwhile the rest of the Gallaghers are still living in that shithole, with fucking Frank".

"Actually, heard he's shacked up with some rich bitch over on the North Side. Never stops bragging about it in the Alibi".

Ian laughed and shook his head, "course he is. Frank always manages to land on his feet".

"Looks like you take after him in that respect Red, even if he's not your real dad or whatever. Suck it up, you got out. You can make something of yourself. Mandy always said you were smart, so don't waste that education. Go cure cancer or whatever the fuck".

Ian settled down, sitting opposite him, as they both smiled quietly around their mugs. The situation was weird but only in how it wasn't weird, not really. Mickey felt at ease, like he was naturally able to talk with Ian, his usual shyness not present.

"Not really a science geek, believe it or not," Ian joked, an attractive smile on his face again, "more of an English Lit geek".

"You mean like books and shit. Rather you than me pal".

"Wait, you can actually read, Mickey?"

Mickey sat up straight, ready to knock the fuckers teeth down his throat. That was, until he caught sight of Ian's cocky smirk. He flipped him off and felt a smirk of his own creeping up.

"Fucking comedian over here," he muttered, "course I fucking can, dickhead. Might be a Milkovich but doesn't mean I'm a dumb fuck".

"Never thought you were," Ian replied with a gentler smile now and a fondness in his eyes. "Always figured you were smart. And, funny too".

Ians eyes darted away, his lips lowered to the mug again, his cheeks faintly pink.

"Funnier than you anyway," he teased in return, "not that it'd be hard".

"I meant it, I want to help. Don't want you getting into trouble or whatever...with Terry".

Ians eyes appeared sincere and possibly full of concern too. Mickey was surprised, wondering how this kid, who was almost a stranger to him, was genuinely worried about him returning home empty handed.

Then again, he probably witnessed Mickey's battered and bruised face on numerous occasions. Perhaps at the Kash n Grab or at the Milkovich House when he hung out there with Mandy. Likely his sister confessed some harsh home truths to her BFF too. Fuck.

"Can't take your shit Gallagher. It's fine, I'll hit some other place up on the way home".

Ian rose to his feet, taking out his wallet, offering a wad of cash to him.

"The fuck," he stood and swatted his hand away in offence, "don't want your money either; not a fucking charity case. And just cos your whore of a mother fucked some rich prick doesn't make you better than me".

Ians face grew red with anger and he stepped forward, invading his space, "don't fucking talk about her like that Mickey. I know I'm not better than you, never fucking said I was. Just don't want you getting punched in the face, or worse, by that evil psychotic prick. Fuck me, for giving a shit".

Ian shoved him and Mickey shoved him back. Both of their chests heaved up and down, both clearly emotional.

"Shit, I shouldn't have said that about your mom; not like mine was much better. Not cool. I know she had fucking problems or whatever, " he thumbed his nose, stumbling on his words, "just don't like handouts alright, I can take care of myself".

Iam nodded and his expression softened further, "I know you can take care of yourself Mick. Just nice sometimes to let other people help. Not like I can't spare some cash. Please, just let me help, let me feel like all of this," he gestured around, "means something. If it means saving that pretty face from getting another pounding, then its worth it".

Mickey's eyebrow pulled up and a sharp breath left his mouth, "did you just call me fucking....pretty....think its you thats looking for a pounding pal".

Ian smirked and approached him, head cocked to the side, his voice lowered to a whisper.

"Generally I do the pounding...but I'm always open to trying new things".

As if Ian's bold words weren't having enough of a mind-blowing affect on his body, the asshole winked (actually winked) at him.

Mickey opened and closed his mouth like a fish, rendered utterly speechless. Not only was the kid gay but he was openly flirting with Mickey, implying shit; not just about himself but about Mickey too. The giant sized balls on Ian. He was pretty impressed though, considering Mickey could easily be kicking his ass right now. Talk about a risky move.

"I uh, better go"

He mumbled and pointed vaguely in the direction of the door, "Terry...you know...fucking schedules or whatever".

Ian chuckled and stepped forward again. His hand reached out, trailing down his chest; smoothing out the creases on his shirt, and then he was stuffing something in his pocket. Before Mickey could argue, Ian was shutting him up in the most unexpected and unsettling way. By pressing his warm lips against his.

Naturally his reaction was to push him away, which he attempted to do but Ian was stronger than he looked and held his hands at the wrists. Green eyes locked on his, questioning, searching. And somehow Mickey relaxed enough to nod up and down.

There was that predatory smirk again before those lips were on his once more, firmer now, with puprose and determination. But it was a brief and tame kiss, which he was grateful for. Because if Ian tried to take it further, put his hands on him or slipped him the tongue, he wasn't quite sure what would happen. Could end up in a fuck or a fight, Mickey wasn't certain. All that he was certain of, was that his skin was on fire, his heart was thumping wildly and he was breathing harshly.

"Think of it as an advance payment...or a loan," Ian said next, waking him from his haze.

"Huh?"

"You can repay me"

"How the fuck do you expect me to pay your pampered ass back. Piss poor here, remember".

Ian laughed, once again causing an unfamiliar flutter in his chest and Mickey smiled automatically upon hearing the pleasant sound.

"There's other ways to pay me back Mick," Ian replied with a cheeky grin.

"Fuck off, you think cos you kissed me I'm some sort of prostitute...I'm not even gay man".

He almost choked on the lie and judging by Ian's amused expression he wasn't buying it either.

"If you say so. Besides, that's not what I had in mind....but now that you mention it...."

Mickey scratched his eyebrow and flipped him off, barely containing a smile.

"Fine. No sexual favours, got it, " Ian joked, his hands held up in the air, "I just meant you can pay me back by maybe hanging out with me once it a while, that's all".

"You just want me to hang out with you...and you'll basically pay me for it...the fuck is wrong with you man?".

Ian cackled and shook his head, "nothings wrong with me. I just fucking like you or whatever and I already told you; the moneys insurance, protecting that pretty face of yours".

Mickey's middle finger was raised once more while his face was busy heating up, "ok fuck, fine, i'll take the cash. But not promising you anything. You're fucking weird man, not sure how much more of you I can handle".

Ian's face lit up and he cocked his head in that boyish, mischievous way again, "pretty sure you can handle a lot Mick," he paused and hummed, "hopefully".

"The fuck," he whispered, the word coming out in a shuddery breath. "I'm outta here. Good luck with being rich now or whatever".

He waved at him, clumsily and awkwardly, before swiftly heading towards the door.

"Don't be a stranger Mickey".

He didn't even need to turn around to recognise the grin that cocky redhead was undoubtedly sporting. Ian Gallagher. Of all the houses. Of all the situations. This night had not turned out like he had expected. He paused at the door, his fingertip tracing over his bottom lip, somehow still feeling Ian's lips there. Fuck. Mickey already knew it. He needed to kiss him again.

"Whatever. See ya later, firecrotch".

❤🎁🎄🌈

[caramecocoa]

doing this from the sideblog as usual, thank you for the tag tho 🧐

Last Song: Lily by Luck Life, apparently (according to my Spotify)

Favourite Colour: Pink, but I generally like most pastels + cream

Last Book: I was reading Rachel Carson's Silent Spring I'm pretty sure?

Last Movie: Slender Man. I don't tend to watch horror much but it wasn't good. Don't even bother watching it for the trashy factor.

Last Show: I think Dunmeshi? I don't remember if I finished it though

Sweet/Spicy/Savoury: All of them, depends on the dish tbh

Relationship Status: Never had my first kiss

Last thing I googled: slenderman movie just so I could be sure I got the right title for this post

Current obsession: ...Okay just take a look at this blog and tell me

People to tag: idk if you want to it if you don't whatever

10 people I’d like to get to know better

Tagged by @strix-x thank youuu :)

Last song: Calisto Yew’s theme from Ace Attorney Investigations 1. Listening to it as I type this, lol. From my Spotify Wrapped 2024 playlist :)

Favourite colour: don’t do this to me… many colours are beautiful… green, blue, pink, purple… thank you…

Last book: Still something I’ve gotta work on is reading more books. Last one I read was the Doctor Who Rogue novelization! That was enjoyable, I liked the extra scenes and backstory it added :)

Last movie: Uhhh hmm I don’t see movies all that often… I’m unsure, but by tomorrow the answer will be Wicked?

Last show: Dandadan season 1 finale… which, tbh, I hadn’t realized was the season finale until after I watched the episode lol! Very looking forward to season 2 tho :D

Sweet/spicy/savoury: Hmm probably savoury? Sweet is also good, tho I think there is definitely a thing as too sweet… and as for spicy? I like some spicy stuff even tho it may burn my mouth after loll

Relationship status: single as can be 😽✌️ alas

Last thing I googled: movie theatre tickets lol

Current obsession(s): Dandadan beloved omg… I haven’t watched a lot of anime, but I’m starting to! Grateful netflix recommended this to me lol, it’s so. It’s got everything you could ask for. Wacky, funny, has a lot of heart with the characters… great music… and maybe I’m a little bit of a sucker for high school students getting pulled into crazy adventures. Momo and Okarun are so cute too… sillies <3

Fire Emblem Heroes isn’t going anywhere for me… with Book 9 having a law theme, it excellently combines with my love for Ace Attorney, and I love Rune already!!

Then ofc Ace Attorney… had a blast playing the Investigations Collection, and I’m continuing to catch up (the timing is almost never right for me to watch live) on Mark Ota’s streams of TGAAC, which are always a ton of fun :D

Then I am also trying to now and then write stuff for my own ocs too… I don’t talk about them enough… but I love them very much, please do know <3 Maybe I show a bit of favouritism for Willow and Pyg, but hey, they are the main characters :3

People to tag: ack my least favourite part, I always fear I’ll forget someone!

@rosymaraschino (I want to return the favour, I appreciate it whenever you tag me in one of these kinds of things! :) )

@ actually anyone else, my mind is blank </3

[nick-nellson]

INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE 2.08 And That's the End of It. There's Nothing Else

[hinamie]

I'll give them shelter like you've done for me

[satsuha]

finally trying my hand at a khura'inese outfit for apollo... i definitely wanted to give him the spare coat in dhurke's office but i might redesign it later

[aro-aizawa]

i like to think everyone has a colour associated with them, whether its just your fave colour or what you generally wear most of or what colour your bedroom walls are. i always associate the name sophie with dark blue, my mum is always a nice turquoise, i like to think my colour is a bright sunflower yellow.

if you have a specific shade pls tell me i adore when ppl have associated colours and tell me them, bc i think of them when i see that colour

[silverware-is-interesting]

have some kinitoPET content, 'cause why not

a version with YOU

+ a thing and a few YOU doodles

[catastrophic-crow]

video highlights: (lowlights?)

~22:30m:

white man, having spent two hours in the same room as other white people: "i understand what you're doing, i just don't understand why! i spent the morning with these people and none of them are racist!"

~28m:

black woman, talking about the discrimination she and her child have personally experienced: "you're not hearing me."

white woman, shouting over the black woman's words: "I AM HEARING YOU!!"

even in the panel of commentators discussing this, the black woman gets shoved off into the corner and has to wait to speak up.

30m:

the same white woman when she's spoon-fed an example by a man of how racism affects people who aren't white: "oh, that's so sad 😖😔"

31m:

white man responding to the spoon-feeding of what racism is like: "well i agree with you, but it's not about colour. you could be a skin head and not want to pick your kid up from school."

......remember, kids. being descriminated against is basically the same thing as.... being a nazi????

32m:

same white woman: i agree. it's like how my husband (brags about her husband and his job before continuing) needs to wear a suit and have a particular haircut.

..........racism is when professional business attire. fascinating. if i knew where my score cards were, i'd give that particular twist and loop a seven.

".....and is he white?" lol. lmao, even

33m:

same white woman, having gotten not quite the reception she hoped for: "no, no, no! it's exactly the same!"

33:20m:

same white woman, retrospective: "but there was the assumption that racism is in particular for people who are black. and... i disagree with that. i think there's racism for white people, just as much. ... i've come across just as much discrimination in my life as, possibly, many black people have."

............."just as much." "possibly."

~34m:

question directed toward black woman commentating: "what do you think this tells us, then, about racism in Britain?"

cut to white guy answering the question: "in Britain, you've got an establishment with power—"

beyond fucking parody

34:17m:

a two second shot of the black woman the question was posed to looking at the video feeds as the white man next to her continues to answer the question, offscreen.

37:55m:

same white woman: "...one third of my class, are black children. and then i've got half-caste children. i've got one little girl, she's stunningly beautiful; she fell over, scraped all her face, and i admit i was slightly surprised that where she scraped all her face it's all pink, underneath! ...right? did i expect it to be black? i don't know."

😐

43:07m:

same white woman, retrospective, again: "for me, i didn't need to ever change my opinions. i walked in there as someone who feels very very strongly about any kind whatsoever... of that kind of behavior demonstrated by—whether it's one of my friends, or one of my children, or whatever. I've always felt very passionately about that. so i didn't need converting! and to be treated as if i was this pariah who was out there... was unacceptable anyway, so i wouldn't pay lip service to her, and my comments at the end were... more, how disappointed i was."

won't even say the word "racism."

...holy shit, if you don't watch the rest, then at least watch the last three minutes. jane elliott is ruthless when the interviewer tries to make her feel bad about hurting the poor (white) feelings.

you can say something so simple as "white women have immense white privilege and leverage whiteness every day. all white women use white supremacy for control, especially against woc, because of sociological structures" and theyre like youre such a stupid bitch I will kill you for saying this, how dare you. It's so funny they get more mad about being called racist than racism itself??? Hello??

[justewil]

happy emmy wemmysday i have never drawn her before

redraw of that one sticker of her. yeah

[cherubytes]

one-sided v4v where the v2 fights are just a way to get attention but v1 doesn't care at all

[sciderman]

(Idk if someone asked this already) since we’re on the topic of gender

sci what is gender to you and how do you see it in you and how you express it in your art?? (Just a young queer artist who wants some light shined upon them 🥺)

i 'unno ¯\_(ツ)_/¯