#don't tell my mom this btw

[zmediaoutlet]

42, tell me your dreams

oh lol, I forgot I queued this! bro <3 asking about what else I can use to clutter the kitchen <3

42. What’s an unjustifiably expensive appliance that you really want?

Sometimes I see someone using one of those ultra high end stovetop pizza ovens and I get hot around the collar. Like one of those Breville Pizzaiolos which are like a thousand bucks. I think they get to 700 degrees. 700! Who can live at that speed!

But I do Not need a tiny stovetop oven. No, even though you could also use it to do small-batch tandoor charring. I don't even have an air fryer or toaster oven bc those are also silly countertop clutterers -- a pizza oven would be truly silly.

......................and yet.

(ask me the questions for people who have a favorite spatula)

[beybuniki]

they should go on a fishing trip pt.1

[inkskinned]

this is sort of pathetic, but when you were younger, you were sort of puzzled by the cartoon representations of fathers: how a kid would be outside with a mitt, waiting to play catch.

it's not that your father never played catch with you, but you also didn't like when he did. something about a hard ball coming quickly towards your face doesn't seem exciting. not that you'd ever say you don't trust him. you trust him, right?

it's not like he never tried to teach you anything. or never tried to parent. on rare days, a strange person would walk in your father's skin. bright, happy, magnificent. this version of your father was so cheerful and charismatic that you would do anything to keep him. and this is the version of your father that would laugh and gently coax you try again. this is the version of your father that would break down the small elements of a problem and point them out so you have an easier time with them.

as a kid, those days happened more often. but somewhere around 11, you started being too much of a person, and he was often cross about it. when he'd try to sit you down to learn something, you spent the whole time with your shoulders around your ears, nervous, uncertain. terrified because you didn't immediately understand how to navigate something. worried you will run out of his goodwill and then you will have the Other Father back, and you will have ruined a good day for your entire family. something about you being visibly afraid - it just made him angry. he would accuse you of not wanting to learn and storm away.

on tv, it's not like there's a lot of versions of men-who-are-mostly-fathers. they can be good dads, but usually their stories are not told in the household. so it's normal that your father is there, but he's never around. you know he was in the house, somewhere, it's just not that you guys ever... "hung out". he just seemed to get kind of bored of you, annoyed you weren't made in his perfect image. frustrated with how much energy it took to raise a kid. over time, you kind of adopt a bittersweet band around your throat - he knows nothing about me. he says at least i never abandoned my family.

and it's technically - technically - true. he was there for you. sometimes he even made an effort and made it to the big moments; the graduations and the dance recitals. he grins and tells everyone that he taught you. it almost erases the days in between, where he complains because you need a ride to school. the weeks that go by where he doesn't actually ever speak to you. the times you say i am struggling and he says figure it out on your own. i can't help you.

and that's fine! that's all fine. you can call him if you are having a problem with your car. or if you need a ride to the hospital. he loves playing hero, he just doesn't like the actual work that comes with being a father. and you've kind of made your peace with that; because you had to, because you don't want to live your life like he does; the whole world at a managed distance, a little rotating and controlled orb he can witness and take credit for but never truly love.

as an adult, you are rewatching some dumb cartoon - and again, the child standing in the rain, with a mitt, waiting for their father to come play catch. as an adult, there's this strange creeping dread - this little thing? this little thing, and their dad can't even show up for that? oh god, holyshit, it's not about the mitt, is it. oh god, holyshit, your father spent most of your life leaving you hanging.

[ratstuckinamarble]

This is what's gonna happen in the new episode a rat told me so in my dreams

Yeah so they're all gay actually, Lagoona and Draculaura are going to hold hands and Dracula will have his own bi awakening in a few years.

[hollis-art]

I want to here data Spider-Man backstory soooooooooo bad please

coming right up!!!!!!! it's in the form of a story because that's how my brain works and i love explaining things when it comes to spiderman or data. its lots of words and i spent like 2 hours writing it and reworking it to make sense

The crew of the Enterprise has taken notice of a nearby planet whose population is soon to be doomed by a phenomenon that they seem to be unaware of. While this planet has made contact with alien life, they are not open to doing it again. It would very much be a violation of the Prime Directive to intervene, but the Enterprise does their usual method of completely disregarding the law and helping the alien species anyways. They'll get yelled at for it later, but their current focus is the wellbeing of this planet and their people.

As they always do (I think they do, at least. If not, then they really should), the crew gets their hands on any and all information they can find on this species and their culture before they do anything. After some digging, they find that this world is the home to many super-powered individuals. While the population is more saturated with those without special abilities, those with powers are often the ones with the most say in what happens. And because the crew needs people to hear their warnings, they needed someone whose abilities could be interpreted as superpowers. Troi's empathy and Worf's strength was something of great wonder to humans, but it wouldn't be nearly as interesting to the species who already had great quantities of both of those traits.

So, as they typically do, they turn to Data for help.

His strength is greater than Worf's, his intellect is forever growing, and the most important part for this plan: Data had the ability to copy things by simply watching or by downloading it into his database. He was the perfect person for the job.

After what seemed like hours of discussion over what abilities or powers Data should obtain, it was Geordi who brought up the idea of Spider-Man.

Data, who had never taken it upon himself to learn about any Earth Superheroes, found the concept quite captivating.

Rather than getting bitten by a radioactive spider, Data's bite was in the form of a program that Geordi made to mimic the powers that a lot of the Spider-People tended to present. The program also included many arial aerobic and gymnastic lessons compressed down into only a few seconds. While the two worked together on installing some web-like spinnerets in his arm compartments, the other crew members focused on the equally important task of creating the costume that Spider-Data (as they have been calling him) would wear.

The role of a superhero was seen as the highest honor you could have on this world, and the ones with recognizable and unique costumes had an easier time spreading their message. The crew had this in mind, but the main purpose of the spider-suit would be to hide the fact that Data doesn't look the way this species does. There is a great variety in how they all present, but Data appears much more Human than they do.

Once everything has been planned and thought out, the identity of Interweb has been formed.

(The name was also Geordi's idea. Data had followed Geordi into his quarters while trying to come up with a name for people to know him as, since 'Data' was not the sort of name anyone on this world would know. Data was pacing around the room, listing off a long, long, long list of concepts and ideas, when he found that he had been pacing from the floor, to the wall, to the ceiling, wall and floor again. Geordi, who was just trying to get ready for bed, looked up at him from where he stood on the ceiling, and gave him his opinion in attempt to get Data to get the memo and leave. Data nodded in appreciation, returned to standing on the rightful surface, and left for the night. The only indication that he had been there was the shoe scuffs that he had accidently left on the ceiling)

It only took one actual training session to see that Data was already ready for this very important job. There was no improvement needed to be seen in his form or methods, and he had planned for everything. Well... Almost everything. Once he had been brought down to the surface, he had quickly realized that his sidekick had snuck into his bag when he wasn't looking.

And within a week, the alien planet was saved by Interweb and his "cat" Spot :) (No one on this planet knows what a cat or a spider is, but they weren't gonna say a thing about it because they had just been saved by the two of them and they're very thankful about it)

[cesium-sheep]

aaaaaaa okey I ordered the speaker and the star projector. (and a beauty blender and a neck support and the new volume of yona and the garbage disposal cleaner matt wanted.) it was still only $35 actually out of pocket and I get my allowance in the morning which will completely replace that amount. I will definitely like the speaker and if I don't like the star projector arin will.

[kevyeen]

if i ever meet lewis hamilton I'm gonna tell him he's the same age as my mom and watch the realization dawn on him

[kimmkitsuragi]

whew haha

[yeahlikethebird]

.

[syncast-err0r]

my sister having 15+ ear piercings n my mom not giving a fuck vs me asking if I could get one (1) face (nostril) piercing n getting told "don't make urself look like an addict" "all ur doing is ruining ur body" "I'm going to get a heart attack bc of u" errrrmmmm (⁠◔_◔⁠)

[hidendumbassvillage]

.

[tvckerwash]

ugh my uncle brought home covid and I've been sick all week, and it's only now when I feel better that I lose my entire sense of taste 🙄

[invisiblyvisiblejay]

scale of 1 to 10 how bad of an idea is it to take an edible for the first time completely alone (i have done a little weed before but ive never been high)

[letterstotheflre]

why does my mom look at me like she's disappointed every time i tell her i'm going out w a guy

[hanzajesthanza]

i already had the assets on my laptop, so... here are some witcher books... motivational image macros? about later adaptations? or maybe yourself? idk

[makedamnsvre]

you don't have to read this is for screaming in the void