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Loved your writing of arcane characters saying things they regret during an argument. Would you be willing to do a version with Jayce, Viktor and Silco? I apologize if you don't prefer to write about these characters, you can ignore this
Arcane men saying things they'll regret during an argument. | Viktor, Jayce, Silco x Gn!Reader
Oh, I absolutely am willing to do that, Anon!! These are going to be pretty irredeemable, though, so there is not going to be a part two to this... anyways, enjoy!!<3
Content: Season 2 spoilers!!, heavy angst, hurt/no comfort, break ups, swearing, gaslighting, toxic behavior, sfw
Reader has no mentioned pronouns.
((Not proofread))
ăVIKTOR
"This... isn't you anymore, Viktor. A-And I refuse to keep lying to myself like this either!" You hissed out one night, unable to keep it in any longer. You were losing your mind in this compound of his, unable to understand how seemingly no one was able to recognize how wrong everything was. People who were "healed" by him weren't the same after. They turned into robotic and uncanny husks of their old selves.
A terrifying sight that unnerved you deeply. And only you here.
The nail in the coffin was perhaps the skeptical appearance of Councilor Salo. Never in your life had you ever seen him give a damn about anyone but himself. He lived a life of riches and materialism, far from the selfless and minimalistic lifestyle found here. But after your boyfriend healed him of his inability to walk, he suddenly preached the same ideals that everyone else did.
Peace, love, and community.
Those were the important pillars of this idyllic place Viktor had created, and yet you couldn't see past the clear red flags that weaved themselves in their white attire. You were never much of a genius like he was, but it didn't take much brainpower to understand that this was not a great place to be in. No matter how hard he attempted to convince you of that.
"... I'm sorry you feel that way. But I'm afraid I can not follow your reasoning for this claim. I am myself... just someone greater. More meaningful. Isn't that beautiful?" His voice was so gentle and patient in comparison to yours. Something that wasn't unusual to him. But the way he used that tone now made you sick. "Terrifying is a better word, actually... Why can't you see that this is just wrong? You're not healing anyone-" "-But I am. Look around you. Is that not enough for you to finally believe me, my love? I want to create a better world... one in which we can live freely together." Your mind spun, his words ringing in your head dangerously. And you hated every second of it.
This isn't the man you loved anymore. He must have died that fateful day when the sky fell from above, and he covered you with his body to save you. His last act of kindness as your boyfriend and lover before he perished and left behind whoever he was. And you'd be damned if the last good memory got tainted too.
"No. I will not let you play with my mind anymore. I've had enough." You pushed past him, wanting to finally escape this borderline cult. Originally, you had only followed after him because you couldn't bear being without him. Jayce was right, though. He really was different now.
"Hm... it seems like I was right about you after all." You stopped in your tracks yet didn't dare face him. "You truly are not worth saving... you can't grasp the beauty of what I have made. I suppose everyone's claims for your low intelligence were, unfortunately, right. What a shame." How could a devil have such a soothing, loving voice? Why did the monster that now lurked in your shadow have to have your lovers face? The cruelty was too much to bear.
Who would have thought that you'd finally leave him for good after all the years you've taken care of him? This moment felt so surreal and yet ironically freeing as well. The end was near. "Did you... ever even love me?" You asked aimlessly, but didn't wait to hear his answer.
Perhaps if you had, however, you would've seen that sudden spark of surprise in his eyes, as you slipped out of his fingers for good at last.
ăJAYCE
You had looked everywhere for him. And after also asking everyone under the sun if they had seen your boyfriend, you had eventually determined that he must've somehow gone missing. Worried sick, it pained you knowing that there wasn't much you could do either, considering that everyone was too busy getting ready for a borderline war and Caitlyn became unreachable as a result. Yet just as you began to lose hope, your dear lover finally returned... but he wasn't the same.
He didn't look the same, nor did he act the same, in fact. He looked so different that it even visibly startled you when you found him rummaging through his once shared laboratory. You had just returned from another wrap around the building in hopes of finding it, and whilst you'd consider yourself lucky this time around, all you now felt was genuine dread.
"Jayce...? What happened to you? I looked for you everywhere and-" You stilled at the intense look he gave you, his face flinching for a moment, as though his mind couldn't comprehend your image. Glancing over at his peculiar weapon of choice, you felt unnerved at how even that looked uncanny. The entire situation was unnerving you deeply, to say the least. "You... You shouldn't be here." He finally muttered, his voice deeper and colder than it ever was. Jayce always had such a fun and warm voice. If you didn't know any better, you would've questioned who he was a while ago.
"Hey... tell me where you were, okay?" You said, trying a more gentle approach as you neared him, eyes focused on his clearly injured leg. Had he been kidnapped? You doubted it. So what made him end up like this? Nothing you could come with explained his appearance. His hair and beard were way longer than they should have gotten in the short span of time he was gone, too.
Reaching down carefully, you tried to inspect his leg, but he seemed less receptive to the idea. Or so you assumed, after he shoved you away roughly and held the hammer to your face at impressive speed. His eyes were glossy, as though he wasn't entirely all there. He was reliving a terrifying moment in his mind, unaware of the horror you were going through. Never could you have ever thought of ending up in this position with him. "Jayce! What the hell are you doing-?" "-Get away! I know what you are... you've been sent by him too, weren't you?" You let out a shriek when he swung the hammer at you, only giving you a fraction of a second to jump out of the way.
Falling onto your behind, you quickly crawled backward and away from him, tears welling up in your eyes. Your scream seemed to at least wake him up, though, as he finally lowered his weapon and blinked at you in surprise. "Fucks sake! What is wrong with you?" You yelled out, yet as fast as his face softened, it hardened again. "... Sorry... I need to leave." Quickly making his way past you, he only barely escaped your presence before you grabbed onto the fabric of his pants. "Why? Where are you going? Why can't you tell me anything?"
The look in his eyes made you shrink away. This wasn't your Jayce anymore. "... The future of everyone in Piltover hinges on me being there on time. Now, make yourself useful for once and get out of my way." Shaking you off harshly, he left you crying on the cold floor of the once lively laboratory, not once looking back.
ăSILCO
When you first met Silco, you were both still leading simple lives in the last drop with his brother and all of your other friends in Zaun. The lanes were harsh and, at times, cruel, yet you fought through the agony of it all together. Years down the line later, you find yourself still reminiscing on those heavenly days, particularly those of your lover who had turned for the worst in the time being. And the question of why you didn't listen to Vander's warnings came to mind again then. Perhaps you were just too used to excusing everything his brother did, especially after he had attempted to drown him so horrifically, which left him permanently injured.
But even so... why didn't you just listen? Why did it take so many years for you to finally throw the towel and leave for good? Finally realise that the man you loved was a monster? A disgusting and evil monster who was willing to use the plight of others for his own gain. And for what? Money? Fame? Power? It was all an ego trip you had far more than enough of. Zaun was his playground, and an escape was impossible. You'd be, however damned if you didn't at least try to anyways. Even if just in Vander's honor as a long-awaited apology.
Pushing past the crowd in the stuffy, full Last drop, you finally reached his office upstairs. Not caring about formalities anymore, you knocked and opened the door without awaiting a reply. If death met you behind it, then so be it. "Ah, darling, in a hurry today, aren't you?" "We need to talk. Alone." Short and straight to the point. Raising a brow, he shared a look with Jinx, who was just done giving him his daily "medicine". Oh, how you hated your lover's dearest creation. Shimmer. The exact thing that had ruined your lives for good. But you pushed away your disdain for the task at hand.
Giving Jinx a dismissive wave of his hand, you waited for her to be gone for good before taking a breath to speak. But Silco beat you to it. Always so painfully perceptive. "The answer is no, if you're here asking to leave. I refuse to let you go, dear. You have no one else but me after all. You wouldn't survive on your own." He always underestimated you, so this wasn't an all to surprising response. And if you were just a couple of months younger, you would have maybe agreed and backed off. But you were sick of his games.
"I didn't come here to ask for permission, Silco. I'm here to say goodbye." The slightest, softest crack at the last word gave you away horribly. You certainly didn't expect your feelings for the man to betray you, but even that won't stop you now. Said man just hummed in response as he stood up to face the window. His hands calmly lit a cigar, very much unbothered. But you knew that your sentence had gotten to him anyway with how his hand shook ever so slightly. Out of anger, most likely.
"So you think you can do whatever you want? Leave after you've spent so many years at my side? Your hands aren't as clean as you think they are, darling. Even yours are a bright violet." A reference to the shimmer vials on his desk. He knew how much you hated it, so this felt like a jab. A jab at the deep guilt you felt every day for enabling the death of all of your friends indirectly. If only you had stopped him from the start... then maybe you wouldn't have to feel the dread that ruined you from the inside anymore.
"I've accepted my flaws and sins a long time ago. I may not be better than you... but sometimes, in order to end the cycle, you have to walk away and leave some things behind." You suddenly felt so content, his cold and terrible words not reaching you anymore. You were so close to leaving. So close to leaving Zaun and Piltover like you've always dreamed. But Silco just scoffed in disbelief.
"Hah, don't give me that self-righteous shit... I've been there for you for so many years, dear. I've taken care of you, fed you, and loved you to my best ability for so long. The least you could do is be grateful for my kindness." "So you think I'm a burden?" The silence was deafening, but it was enough to confirm your long-standing suspicions. He had lost his love for you a long time ago. Perhaps the side that loved you so purely drowned in the river with him.
"... Goodbye. I hope one day you can walk away too." You turned and began walking out then, suddenly realising that it's finally over. Shoving your hands into the pocket of your coat, you felt the ticket for the skyship you had to take. "Don't you dare leave. Don't you dare it-" All bark and no bite as usual. There was no stopping you now, and he knew it. He was letting you go after all. You could just hope that one day he'd listen to your words and end the cycle, too.
What a shame that you won't be there at his side to see it, however... maybe in another life then.
#arcane#arcane x genderneutral reader#arcane x reader#arcane x y/n#arcane x you#arcane viktor#arcane viktor x reader#viktor#viktor x reader#arcane silco#arcane silco x reader#silco x reader#silco#arcane jayce#arcane jayce x reader#jayce#jayce x reader
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hii, saw u wanted arcane requests. from what ive seen on tiktok, apparently jinx was able to escape after the explosion in the very last episode and survived and ran away on that blimp thing, so could u please write a jinx x fem reader where after the explosion, jinx comes to get reader and they run away together happily to another region to have a fresh start and have a quiet, peaceful life. đđźđđźđđź pls and thank you.
A Fresh Start (Jinx x Gn!reader)
Warnings: mentions of death, use of (Y/N) once
Genre: angst, hurt/comfort
Fandom: Arcane
Summary: see request
Word Count: 1.6k
No set pronouns for reader
â˘â˘â˘
You still remembered every detail, every word said, replaying the moment in your head. You'd had a fight with Jinx, nothing serious you'd thought, but when she and Ekko found you, you could see the pain in her eyes. She came running to you, wrapping her arms around your neck.
âI'm sorry, I didn't mean all those things I said,â she apologized, her voice breaking. âYou've always been there for me, and I've been ungrateful about that.â
You hugged her tightly, with your arms surrounding her waist, hiding your face in her shoulder.
âIt's okay, it doesn't matter now,â you mumbled. âAre you okay?â You asked, breaking apart and caressing her face.
She simply nodded, but you could read her like an open book, and you knew that there was something she wasn't telling you.
Before you could keep questioning her, Ekko decided to speak.
âI hate to interrupt the sweet moment and everything, but we have to hurry if we wanna survive,â he said. You gave him a confused look, slowly breaking your embrace with Jinx.
âYeah, the world is basically about to end,â the girl said. And both she and the boy tried their best to give you all the information you needed, trying to come up with a plan.
When you were almost finished with the globe, Jinx pulled you apart for a moment, wanting to talk to you.
âI really am sorry about before," she started saying, âI just couldn't think straight at the moment and I took it out on you.â
âHey, I said it was okay and I meant it,â you comforted her, grabbing her hand.
âI just don't want us to be on bad terms, we don't know what could happen out there,â she whispered, trying to hold back her tears.
âWe're not on bad terms, okay? Don't worry about that, my love,â you answered, not wanting to think about the worst case scenario.
âThank you for not giving up on me, (Y/N), I'm so lucky to have met you. You mean the world to me, and I love you so much.â Tears were already falling down her cheeks, making it hard to contain yours too.
âI love you, too, baby.â You pressed your foreheads together, closing your eyes to better savour the moment. âDon't worry, we're gonna be okay,â you tried to reassure her. âI'm not saying today will be easy, but we'll make it, and soon this will all be just a dark moment from the past.â
She wrapped her arms around your neck once again, not being able to control her sobs anymore. You were taken aback from the sudden action and her reaction. Her embrace was tight and almost filled with dread, almost as if she was certain something bad would happen. You decided to get those thoughts out of your head. Danger was knocking at the door, and you couldn't ignore it anymore; the moment to fight had come.
When you got to the fight scene, Vi quickly joined you, and so did Vander. Ekko took control of the globe, making it crash into the building, knocking the air out of your lungs. When you finally got back on your feet, you quickly went to help Vi and Jinx against Vander, but a hard blow at you was the last thing you remembered before losing consciousness.
You had no idea how long you were out of it. Ekko's figure was the first thing you saw when you woke up, and he helped you sit down slowly.
âHey, easy there,â he said. âYou got hit pretty badly.â
âI'm fine,â you groaned. âWhereâs Jinx?â He ignored your eyes, tilting his head. âEkko?â
He only had to look at you, and you could instantly feel the world crumble around you. Tears quickly flooded your eyes, still looking at the boy in front of you.
âTell me it's not what I'm thinking,â you pleaded.
âShe sacrificed herself to save Vi.â
You closed your eyes, letting the tears roll down your cheeks. You wanted it to be some sick joke, for her to get into the room and tell you that it wasn't true, that she was fine and you didn't have to worry about anything. But you knew her, and you knew something felt off about her in that last conversation you had. Turns out something bad did end up happening.
â˘â˘â˘
Not many days had passed, the pain still fresh. You were lost in your thoughts, staring at the city in front of you. You were in the spot Ekko had shown you not long ago, trying to find a bit of peace in contrast to the mess in your head.
Life in Zaun was very unpredictable, which made it difficult to make long-term plans, but also made it easy to not get attached to anything nor anyone. But Jinx was the exception. You just couldnât stop yourself from getting attached to her, and now you were suffering the consequences.
To be honest you wouldnât really change anything, not even the pain you were feeling right now. Changing things would mean not even getting to know her, and you were grateful to have met her, to share your life with her. You were simply paying lifeâs price for love.
You suddenly felt a presence behind you, but you kept your gaze to the front.
âI'd really like to be alone, Ekko,â you said, assuming that the boy had come to check on you.
âI'm not Ekko.â
You froze in place. You had to be hallucinating, it had to be the only explanation. She was gone, and nothing would change that. You shook your head in disbelief, looking up at the sky.
âI'm even hearing her voice now,â you said. You could feel that presence even closer now, and you quickly grew frustrated with what you thought was your own mind. âLeave me alone!â You screamed, turning to the presence behind you and freezing once again when you finally saw her.
âHey, it's me,â she whispered.
You quickly got up, never breaking eye contact.
âBut- You- How?â It was all you could say, barely whispering, still not truly believing what you were seeing. She was right there.
âI guess being injected with crazy amounts of shimmer to keep me from dying had its perks,â she explained almost jokingly, trying to lighten up the mood. âI managed to escape the explosion.â
âBut I don't understand. Why didn't you come back right away? Why let us believe you were dead?â You had a million questions in your head, and you could feel your heart beating like crazy.
âI needed everyone to believe it, to have a fresh start. Vi would never give up on me if she knew I was still alive; she'd follow me to the end of the world.â
You still kept your distance from her, it all seemed unreal. A few minutes ago you were grieving her, and now she was right in front of you, as beautiful as ever. But you felt anger inside you as well. She could've told you, she could've saved you from that horrible pain of thinking she was actually gone for good.
âYou knew you were gonna fake it all along, didn't you?â You realized, thinking about that last conversation you two had. âThat's why you were so emotional, so shaken and distressed.â
âBaby, I-.â
âYou knew, right?â You interrupted her, voice cracking with your words.
âI did.â
You closed your eyes. You didn't really know when you'd started crying, but the tears kept falling down your face.
âYou let me believe you were dead, Jinx! Dead!â You didn't even try to hide how emotionally distressed you were. You needed to let everything out. The blue-haired girl broke the distance between you two, holding you in her arms while you sobbed into her chest, quickly collapsing to the ground.
âI'm so sorry, baby. I made a mistake and I should've told you,â she said while running her hand through your hair. You could tell by her voice that she was also crying, filled with guilt. âI'm sorry, please forgive me.â
âI get why you did it,â you told her after a while. âI don't blame you for wanting peace, but you have no idea how much it hurt me to think that I'd lost you.â
She cupped your face and made eye contact with you before pressing your foreheads together. âI'm sorry,â she repeated, feeling like she could never say it enough times to express just how much she regretted not letting you know before.
âI'm just glad you're actually okay, love.â You leaned in to her touch, savouring the moment after such turmoil.
She gave you a kiss on your forehead before speaking.
âI want you to come with me,â she uttered.
âCome where?â You questioned.
âI don't know, away from here,â she replied. âI really want that fresh start, but I know that trying to live without you would be absolute hell. I've had many uncertainties in my life, but you just feel right. If there's something I'm sure of is that I love you, with every part of me.â
âI love you, too,â you told her. âAnd I'd also follow you to the end of the world.â You let out a hopeful smile, and so did she before cupping your face to kiss you.
Her lips against yours felt absolutely right, like it was just the way it had to be, forever and ever. You belonged together, and there was nothing you wanted more than to build a future with her, away from all the ghosts from the past. You knew it wouldn't be easy, both of you had a lot to let go of but with her by your side everything felt a bit easier, and for the first time in a long time, you felt hopeful.
â˘â˘â˘
i absolutely loved this request, thank you anon! i'm a sucker for angst
also i'm 100% sure she's still alive
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Heya Ghoul... I have a question.
How do you tell if you've been like... affected by something? My ex practices Wiccan stuff and she is very obsessive and still texts my old number and like... yeah, I'm worried about her doing something. We were together roughly two years and she's still trying to contact me after a year of no contact and she's saying how like I'm her soulmate and stuff and I'm just... not into her at all anymore. Like she gave me emotional trauma and stuff, almost convinced me to move up to where she is (long distance, manipulative) and I'm not comfortable going out of state right now because that's a huge reset I don't want to do again...
Not to ramble here too much, I'm sorry if it's too weird or something so feel free to ignore this, but I really don't know who to ask in terms of the practice. I'm also not really sure how to bring up the topic of spells or hexes or whatever, I'm not trying to be dismissive in any way but it's like talking about just feels stifling and awkward. We (ex and I) never really talked about her practices and stuff, but sometimes she'd talk about a ritual she did or wanted to do, or spell jars she wanted to make... I never really learned how to talk about it, either, in general so maybe it just feels weird because it's foreign. I don't doubt it exists, but it's not something I understand very well.
I didn't intend to dump this on you but I did so in sorry about that. Thank you for reading, I hope you have a great day.
Hello hello you have come to the right witch.
First of all FUCK WICCA that shit is just magic stollen from other religions and closed practices, plus it was created by some random white dude in like the 80s so it's not even this deeply ancient practice that people think it is.
Anyway Wiccans also have this whole thing about "do no harm" but lemme tell you something, i am not Wiccan and I will do harm. So here's what you're gonna do.
We're going to start with a cleanse. I like doing a Limpia, since that's the most hands on and accessible.
You're gonna get an egg and rub that Thang all over your body. I mean all over, and try to focus on "cleaning" yourself off with it. Be careful not to break it but make sure you rub it over the top of your head, sole of your feet, stomach/heart/hands, you wanna get anything you think feels bad. Then we're gonna crack the egg into a glass of water.
Now you can read the egg and see if she's actually hexed you, but for your purposes it doesn't matter because even if she hasn't we're gonna throw some salt, ceyanne/chili powder/red pepper flakes, and some garlic into that water. Then you're gonna toss the whole thing down the toilet, close the lid and flush it.
Cleanse done.
Next your gonna take a jar or a bag and you're gonna put anything sharp that you have in your house and you're willing to get rid of into it. Nails, thorns, thumb tacks, needles, pins, toss it in there. If you're using a jar add some vinegar, if your using a bag don't. Then we're doing hot stuff again: chili powder, red pepper flakes, anything spicy goes in your ward. Add some salt. Spit in it. Write a warning on a piece of paper "anyone who sends harm my way will get it back 3 fold" and shove it in there. Then bury that thing. Preferably you do this at the edge of your property but if you can't bury anything out it over your door.
Done.
Other witches get real fancy with their wards but I'm lazy and most people don't have a ton of fancy witchcraft stuff, so we work with what we've got.
Otherwise. Idk magic isn't real, the worst she can do is just like keep trying to contact you and being annoying. She'll get bored eventually and move on to tormenting someone else, but if she does send anything your way or you feel like you're not acting like yourself, do a cleanse.
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You wonât see this but like Iâm been SEARCHING the internet for some backstory on Darkness!Dream and I canât find anything and you are the creator (atleast thatâs what everyone says) so if you do see this do you mind likeâŚexplaining it to me? Iâm sorry itâs just Iâm very curious about this au.
yet⌠I do see it!! I can help I GUESS
so darkness dream came about back in 2017, basically he started out as this idea where I just like, made dreamtale dream not be Good anymore. the guy gets like super depressed, he neglects basic morals and is like I would rather be with my bestie Forever than like, do whatever his job is, basically like "why do I even help people who don't appreciate it. I am moving back in with my toxic evil bestie," and nightmare encourages it and goes along with it. that's the premise. he lives at nightmare's castle now. they're toxic now. that's the story. I will not link the original posts/story because they, well, are terrible. like, this is 2017 we're talking about. this was before I even started using ao3 as a regular place to put writing.
because the original story is called "darkness is nicer than it seems", the au started being called DINTIS. most of the stories that I wrote featuring darkness dream are not very good in my opinion, and mostly pretty embarrassing lol, but in 2020, I rewrote the backstory on ao3. it's been a long time since I've looked at it, so I don't remember if it's any good. over time they went from being directly connected to dreamtale to being their own au. (that said, back then almost every dreamtale au I made was SUPPOSED to ignore dreamtale Literal Brothers canon even though they were really bad at being clear about that.)
when the two characters got human redesigns in 2019, they were renamed dark (dream) and jet (nightmare) and jet finally got his own unique design. so with the evolution of the characters and the oc-ification of them (sort of???) they pretty much changed into a toxic married couple. in the modern day I'd choose to write them way differently than how they started, but y'know, old characters will be old characters.
2017 drawing | 2018 drawing | 2019 drawing
#asks#dintis#yeah these guys just kind of float around and exist#they never fully transitioned into having their own story#years ago I tried to come up with a unique backstory for them but it wasn't very detailed or specific
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mods are asleep post comics from 3 years ago i never finished and probably never will
#loz#my art#loz ss#skyward sword#my comic#made this back in 2020#and just like. didn't finish it#lost motivation for it or somethin#don't really like the writing anymore so ignore that#you get the gist#something something can never go back to the way things were even if you want to and the grief that comes from that#legend of zelda#zelda#link loz
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#some thoughts incoming idk if i should share but i need to put them somewhere#it's hard being in the yr fandom since the finale when you don't share the same vision and opinion as the rest#and people make future wilmon posts or write post s3 fics (which many exist now) they just don't align with your idea at all#and they're not exciting to me at all and the whole concept just makes me upset#i don't wanna imagine Wille as a 'normal' person (not that that's ever possible anyway which the show loves to ignore)#like I'm sorry but i didn't come to the show to watch an ordinary love story and have them lead an ordinary life#the idea of Wille being a future king and them navigating that royal life together is so much more interesting#i hate that that isn't canon anymore and when ppl make posts about them it's not about that or that would only be seen as a negative thing#i don't wanna imagine a life where they are 'normal' that isn't appealing to me at all and it sucks seeing everyone embrace it#and it's like you're not allowed to want something else or think differently bc that makes you the bad person and you're just wrong#i can't be excited about their future (also bc i don't really see them going strong in the future with how they messed them up in s3)#(i also didn't want to know what could possibly happen in the future i wanted that to stay open and just be in the present)#and seeing everyone else excited and happy about it makes you feel horrible and very alone and disconnected in the fandom#i don't wanna take it away from them but i also would love to see other takes but that's basically impossible now#am i the only person who feels this way or are there any other who can relate? pls let me know#i already feel like ppl are gonna attack me for this but it's been hard especially now with Simon's month and seeing so many interpretation#navigating ao3 has also become difficult now#it's hard finding fics to read where wille stays crown prince and you don't have to be scared for that to change#i just can't read any canon compliant fics anymore and i hate it bc i hate to disagree with canon#i normally don't do that bc canon is important to me and i don't want to reject it and create my own fantasy#and that's what's upsetting#anyway sorry i had to write this#personal
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Why do you think the angst was all in the last 2 episodes?
okay. so. what's one of the biggest tenets of romance writing?
why can't they be together now?
that's it. that's the question you need to continually answer when writing a romance story, right? RMB (and the bridgerton books in general) are interesting in the way that they don't particularly take too much part in the traditional 3rd act breakup.
most writers live or die by it (and it can often be tedious, i know) so what happens when in RMB when they're married but they need a 3rd act conflict to add to the show where the drama is amped up to 100?
you have a big ass fight.
the thing is, if it's something solved by simple communication, it's irritating to watch and no one is going to enjoy it (it's also what makes or break fics in my opinion, ha). and i see this take a lot in the polin fandom tbh but it's not simple conversations they need to have and i think that there's a misconception of "oh if they just talked to one another...". great! they should talk, right? because they do. they talk more than once and it goes nowhere. they both leave the situation frustrated.
because it's a fundamental disagreement of where they stand as individuals.
it's not because colin is being dramatic, it's not because penelope won't bend. it's because they each think the other is asking too much of them in the moment and feels the other doesn't understand where they're coming from.
all penelope wants is colin to love her and accept her as she is. that includes LW and understanding where her voice comes from. all colin wants is to provide for penelope and be the man he thinks he needs to be for her. he's also worried about penelope and can't reconcile LW and his wife, the love of his life, being the same person.
penelope lays her cards out and tells that she wants him to love her and be by her side. that he, as he is, is enough for her. he comes to accept that penelope and LW are one and the same. he learns to love them both. he no longer wants penelope to split herself and he learns that just being by her side is enough for him. that he can be just who he is and that's enough.
it is, honestly, far bigger than a conversation or two. i think that gets lost since they shoved it all into 7 & 8. if it were me i would have started it somewhere in the middle of 6 tbh.
#asks#anon#polin#penelope x colin#like i have thoughts about how they needed more intimacy after the conflict but like that's nitpicking#also don't tell anyone but i would also pay some fic writers in every fandom i've ever been in to actually have them talk#a lot of writing relies too heavily on miscommunication to the point where i'm not sure people know how to use it anymore#because polin really isn't that#but that's me being picky so ignore that
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Lately I've only been wishing to grab a comic about my favorite character and just have a genuinely good time reading it.
#I can't remember the last time I took a Deadpool comic and genuinely had a good time about it#I hate the direction they took with his character and it's so disrespectful that I don't even talk about I don't even think *any* Deadpool#fan genuinely talk about it because were so tired of his kids characterization we all just collectively decided to ignore whatever hell#marvel through at him#but rant aside#it's justâ#I am not sure if comic books are fun anymore I don't even know who I am making content for half of the people on my notes haven't touched#comic book and aren't pretending to do so#people who read the comics tend to be so mean or bitter about it that even if you follow most will be angry about something#comic or fan related and I don't know if I can blame them but following that is draining#and as much as I was trying to be a good sport about it you make a post about comic book characters and#and the overwhelming response is 'I don't read the comics but'â following up by a take about them that doesn't even recognize any core#aspect of their personality that you can't even grasp you can't even recognize them#you can't recognize them on tue cannon you can't recognize them on the fannon#and no matter how engaging you try to make content about the fandom people justâ*refuse* to read it. And thenâ they *refuse* to tag fannon#content as fannon#and *refuse* to leave either#Yes we are all having fun but how can a character tag be so so filled with people who have no idea of who they are#how can a character can be properly loved and take care of and have content that respect them if no one makes any attempt to *know them*#and it's disheartening because *comics* are supposed to be fun *fannon are supposed to be fun*#but for aome reason it's really *really* hard to have fun here anymore#I created this page to share my love for the characters I care about and see more content of people who care about them too#but I can't even *find* people who care about them any more and when I do they're all so angry and upsetâ And I *cant even blame them*#I just... I don't know why I am doing this anymore or for who I am doing this anymore#sorry to vent but it's been a while since I haven't been had a genuinely good time⢠enjoying comics#I don't think even people who write those comics enjoy those comics or care about those characters#Sometimes feels like everyone is projecting on those characters rather than *writing about them*. And I can't find them anymore#fanfics used to be about love petters to characters who you love#nowadays seems like a competition to see who makes more funny words with tropes pre-written since 2007#vent
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why don't you like blade :(
oh i don't dislike him! i just don't care. totally different thing
everything i've seen of him in game so far PLUS alllllllll those leaks hasn't been enough. like. as of Right Now there's nothing for me to latch onto and pick at. the whole "dan heng's past life's ex-husband/fiance" may be enough for some people but i just do not gaf đ i need. to see quite a bit more of him before i can even start getting into the territory of actual like/dislike
#and i probably won't dislike him when i do get the additional context i need to understand his character properly#because overall i Really enjoy the character writing in this game so they'd have to fuck up catastrophically for me to Dislike him#mailbox#you know what i do dislike though. renheng. or whatever you people call it#like ok YES i see that they were probably married in dan heng's past life#but#i don't... dan heng has made it extremely clear that he is NOT dan feng and he really hates engaging with any part of that life#because he wants to move on and establish himself as a new person and be SEEN as Himself and not have to shoulder dan feng's shit forever#and i don't understand what blade's deal is. like if he's also a reincarnation or. idk kafka was like 'mara' but like#either i skipped something in that cutscene or it was not elaborated on Yet or it wasn't translated well OR all 3#regardless i do not get what's happening. with him.#so maybe he can still love dan feng and it really fucking sucks for him that dan heng looks so much like him but *dan feng* is dead#he's not going to find his husband/fiance in dan heng again. like blahblahblah the vidyadhara's reincarnation is weird#and undoubtedly parts of dan feng will live on through dan heng but they're not. the same person#and yknow blade isn't (checks notes) exactly yinxing anymore#like that's kind of the entire point of this story line. it's supposed to be tragic because they're not the same people anymore#and they're not going to just fall in love all over again at the drop of a hat#like i thought you guys loved doomed yaoi. why do you keep making it un-doomed#it's not a big deal or anything like do what you want forever. if un-dooming the doomed yaoi makes you happy then ok!#but it's not for me and never will be it just requires ignoring such an integral part of what makes dan heng. dan heng.#blade's fine. silver wolf is like his niece now or something he can just go take her to mcdonald's he doesn't need a husband again
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--
#oddly still a lil hurt about being ignored during that whole fic rec event#I know childish or whatever#but this sorta thing does affect motivation to post and share stuff#at least it affects me#so I guess I will really count down and stop writing for this ship once I'm down with my last 2 wips#sidenote do ppl still do the talk in tags thing I honestly have no idea#I'm never properly on socmed anymore lol#ah well#I'm v petty abt the kind of writing that is celebrated in this ship#but eh it doesn't matter#ppl like what they like and when you know they don't like you#you shld rly stop bothering#or at least that's how it is for me
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...... If I went on a hiatus for who knows how long again would y'all hate me....... đđ
#i just spent like an hour writing and rewriting a post trying to explain myself amd its just so hard to put into words#im bored here but not in a ew not enough content for the dopamine hit shit#in like a every time i scroll through I dont smile I dont see anything that makes me happy at all i dont get a laugh or anything#its just mindless brain rotting scrolling nothing wasting my time hoping maybe ill see a new artist to follow or something#and every time its nothing#so much nothing taking up so much of my time and space in my life and i already dont have a lot of time to begin with#ive made some awesome friends here ive had lovers from here ive had people who are no longer on this earth from here who ill never forget#i dont think ive really enjoyed anything on here in 7 years#ive left before for a really long time i think like a year or more or something#and i wont be totally unreachable of people message me ill respond but im so sick of this stupid app taking up my life#and all i ever get out of it is getting mad or getting depressed over shit that really is t worth my mental state over#all i ever feel on here is that the world fuckin sucks and theres not even anything here to make hanging around worth it#im not new to this site making me suicidal for an abundance of reasons and im luckily in a spot where i wont actually hurt myself#its just ideation and intrusive thoughts but its a pattern i cant keep ignoring#also im old tumblr im old tumblr and i think i will always be old tumblr im just not catching on to new shit anymore#the fact im even saying anything about a hiatus should show how pld tumblr i am no one does this anymore lol#i just don't want to be here anymore i dont really want to be anywhere online anymore tbh#its always something and i cant mentally keep up with it anymore i have too much going on in my life#my wife is having cancer removed on Tuesday im a lead teacher who has to take care of i think 8 babies now#i have problems i have actual problems that need me and need me to be as there as i can be#i cant be spiraling over stuff online on top of real world problems im in no position to do anything about on top of personal life problems#that are drastically affecting my life at home and hurting my family and loved ones#i have a mass in my thyroid which is so big i choke to the point i stop breathing if I dont have my meds i throw up all day#i have to see a neurologist because at best i have a pinched nerve at worst im having seizures and i might have to move states again#i dont have it in me to come on here and see stuff that makes me upset for the chance i might see something i like#and i can unfollow people and whatever but I dont have the energy or time to sift through people i follow on here#if you want to talk in dms or asks or you want to send me posts pls by all means continue to do so thats fine#but i think i need to take the app out of my line of sight again for a bit and just be in the moment again same with twitter#anyways i love yall i promise i am safe and not in harms way im just stressed af and i have got to start cutting things out that#arent doing anything other then making me miserable
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The Guilty Plea
SIMON 'GHOST' RILEY x FEM!READER TASK FORCE 141 x FEM!READER
Traitors Among Us (Part 1) and Innocents Among You (Part 2)
Verdict Due (Part 4) Clear Skies (Part 5)
Summary: As you're discharged from the infirmary, under watchful eye, you head to Laswell to talk on the rest of your now ruined military career. Of course, you're forced to confront your team as it happens, the last people on earth you'd like to see.
If you liked this would you Buy me a Coffee?
---
Running your fingers along the raised, pink scar across you cheek, the feeling of it...it really looked terrible. A part of you thought it would disappear, hoped it would, but it didn't. It just became severely more noticeable. Looking at this, you knew you'd always have to think of it. You'd sport this reminder for the rest of your life.
Looking away from it, you find your own tired eyes in the mirror, you haven't been sleeping well. Or at all. You can't remember the last time you got 4 hours, let alone 8. Dark circles still surrounded them but at least the bruising and the swelling had gone down.
You couldn't recognize yourself. Not really.
This woman looked so exhausted, so frail and so goddamn angry. It was accurate, it was how you felt. All of it. So, you supposed that the mirror's reflection was the truth, this was you indeed.
"If you need another day or two, no one will ask questions."
You glance over towards your psychologist, your fucking therapist, a nice little 'gift' sent over by the bureau to check in on your mental state after your ordeal. Glaring at him through the reflection of your mirror, he sighs, putting down his pen that slaps against his notepad, "I can't help you if you don't talk to me."
"I'm going to Laswell." Ignoring his statement, you speak. "I'm ready. I'll pack up. Get back to base. Vera had me discharged from the infirmary. I can start ov--"
"Vera?"
"My nurse. You met her," you continued, annoyance spiking at the interruption. Your wrist brace squeaking quietly under the pressure of your fist tightening beneath the table.
"Right..."
"Do you listen to a word I say outside of...my 'trauma'?" You wonder, bluntly.
Your psychologist blinks, surprised, before clearing his throat, appalled. "If you feel I can be more attentive to your state of well-being throughout our process, than by all means--"
"Oh, so 'no'?" you lean back into your seat, a strained laugh leaving you. His lips press together and you continue before he can find the words. "Because whenever I mention leaving this fucking team, you either adjust our schedule for another two weeks or suggest hypnotic therapy, as if I need anyone else digging around to fuck up my mental state."
"I never meant to imply--"
"Oh, you implied it," you interrupted, gritting your teeth. "I know what I want. And I want off Task Force 141."
He taps at the leather of his notebook. "Scars heal, just remember that, Ms. (L/n). The reminders of your experience shouldn't have to haunt you."
"It's not the scars, I've had my share way before this," you admitted, rising to your feet. You exhale deeply that tells to the effort of it, the steel gear hinges along your leg braces shift with your change of position. Still getting use to them. "It's the person."
"Has she changed, you think?" the psychologist begins to write, getting somewhere.
"She doesn't exist anymore."
Finally, placing the mirror down and onto the side table, you pushed off of the table, rolling your IV pole along with you. Passing the chair your psychologist sits on, he closes his notebook with a frustrated huff, looking over his shoulder. "Session over for you already, Ms. (L/n)?" he sighs. "We've still got the hour."
"I'm done," you take the knob in your hand. Turning.
In more ways than one.
"You understand that, informing your captain on your leave is required of you. Have you spoken to any of them, in the last few weeks?" he spoke up, quickly. "I'm sure giving them a space to open up, share from their view--"
"Why should I care--"
"--will give you better understanding, better clarity of the situation they were in--
Appalled. "What the fuck?" Jamming the door closed with a loud, shuttering thud, you whip around. "IT'S NOT ABOUT THEM!" you could just rip your hair out. "Who--who says that to someone?!"
Your psychologist sits there, eyes wide in confusion. "What--"
"Christ, can you hear me? Can you--can you see me? I've got metal plates in my spine, braces holding my knees in place and nerve damage that'll never heal! Who gives a fuck about them!" your skin feels red hot, your face twisted in rage. "I gave my life! My life to this! And then I'm tortured, I'm threatened, drugged and beaten by my own team, my f--my family for eight fucking years..."
You continue with a heavy chest. "And I'm supposed to invite them for dinner to talk and listen them bitch and moan about why they thought it was necessary to beat me to death for two weeks?! Fuck you!" you spat. "I don't owe them anything!"
"That's not what I was trying to say, Ms. (L/N). I apologize, I overstepped. Come sit down--"
"Of course you meant it," you interrupted, mock humor. "Don't be a pussy, own up to it. Revel in your truth. Be tter yet--" you snatch a journal from the cabinet. Tossing it his way. "Make a note of it."
Turning the knob, you leave the room with a slam of the metal door.
---
You were officially famous. On the base, you were now a legend.
A story that would be mentioned and told at lunch for months. Probably years.
First, you were a rat. Next, you were innocent. This was the most gossip any of those in service had ever seen in their years of service.
An interesting reminder to those in service that you weren't safe off duty either.
You learned a few days ago that there was an update put into the interrogational unit, something about how to properly go about dissecting evidence and being on the lookout for enemy spies in the militia.
You guessed you had been told about it in an effort to be appeased by the thought that the head of control paid attention to anything beyond their own noses for once. But, you had little to no faith in a system that's nearly killed you on and off the field by now, so it didn't matter.
You doubted the new rules would be followed though, there was a plethora of things they'd done to you in that cell that were both illegal and unsanctioned. Most of all, that were expected towards an enemy, a prisoner of war at best, and not a fellow marine.
You arrive at the housing quarters, swiping your key card, pulling the handle and entering the wing. Immediately, you're greeted by a dozen eyes, conversations stopping short and clothes ruffling to silence, suddenly whispers fill the space and eyes turn away.
"Oh, god, it's her..." says one man in the far corner.
"Shut the fuck up, man!" came a harsh whisper back.
"I didn't know it was that bad..."
All those eyes on you, makes you pause in your step, looking around at all of your fellow soldiers, the men and women you've served with for years. Many you recognized, ate with, fought beside that turned their backs to you now. Out of respect? Out of distaste, morale, nerves, pity, it all didn't matter. It all felt the same.
The wheels attached to your IV pole suddenly sounded much too loud on the polished flooring, as you walked down the hall as fast as you were able to.
Breathing out deeply, you get to an elevator, pushing on the button, once, twice, three times, just open goddamn it.
With a ding, the metal doors open, and suddenly you're aware that people could be in the elevator, they could be in this elevator, he could be in this elevator. Your eyes flicker down to the floor, your grip on the pole of your iv tightens, your shoulders stiffen, waiting for a blow that will never come.
You stand there as the doors open up, the small space empty, the metal walls reflect only her and a streak of lighting from the ceiling.
Looking up slowly, finally taking a breath, before sliding the iv up and onto the elevator, following it as you press your floor number along the way.
The ride up is fast, a little rumble as it stops, and then the doors open. Faster than you were prepared for.
Peeking out down the hallway, luckily no one to bump into, which you were thankful for. But, it didn't make this hall any less haunting. You'd been cornered in this same hall, you could recall being hauled out of the room after the solid handle of a knife hits your temple.
You don't go down fast enough, whipping around as you stumble to take the wrist of your attacker, mostly for balance, it's Price. In shock, you're unprepared as Johnny's arm encircle your neck, locking you into position as you both stumble backwards onto the floor. He blocks your airways, hushing you harshly as you struggle, feet kicking out and your vision blurring as your team surrounds you. Your family.
That was quite the headache to wakeup with afterwards.
You hadn't quite remembered until now. Being back served as a hell of a kickstart to your memory.
Just a few more reasons to get the fuck off of 141.
Getting off the elevators, the metal doors sliding closed behind you, you make your way down the hall. The polished flooring creates a subtle squeak through the wheels of your iv pole, your hand absently running over the fading stitches along your side.
Passing the shadows of your tortured memory, the doorway of the office was closed, locked.
You pass Kyle's room.
Johnny's.
Finally, you rush up to the next room on the left, grabbing the handle, before beginning to twist, but then you're yanking your hand back as if the metal had burned you. Your back ramming into the back wall, catching yourself, this wasn't your room.
It was Simon's.
You'd spent hours, days, in that room. More than your own.
Why wouldn't you? You were about to get married to the man. You had more in this room than you had in yours.
Sharp breaths leave you, shivering in your effort to keep yourself together, your head goes back into the wall, swallowing down the ache in your chest.
You wait, muscles tensed and your body pressing back into the wall, hoping it'd absorb you if that door opens. Listening for every sound, any pin drop, even an exhale from beyond that doorway. Luckily, Simon seemed to be out for the day.
Hurriedly, nearly running, you steady yourself against the wall as you rush down to the corner of the hallway, finally finding your room.
Turning the handle, it's not locked, it's broken. It opens with ease.
Entering the room slowly, pushing the doorway aside, the crackle of glass beneath your boots as you step forwards, clothes and picture frames laying scattered.
The mattress flipped and ripped open, springs and cotton cut from it. Your wall of metals and certificates, from acts of bravery and mementos of valor, discarded, later you'd find them in the trash, one with a bullet lodged into the gold.
Sniffling as you leaned down, picking a specific frame off the ground, the only one that hadn't been broken. Laying along the ruined rug, with no care for the glass digging through your jeans, you stare at the still shot of your family.
The only family you had outside of Task Force 141, your father and his sister, military brats themselves, until their retirement. Your mother had passed, or just up and left, days after your 5th birthday, you weren't completely sure, the story kept changing every year. But, these two were the only family you've ever known, ever had, until you joined the military, following in their footsteps.
They'd been so proud when you arrived back after your first assignment, in truth you were heavily traumatized, but seeing them, you just had to smile. Having a family that understood the harsh toll on the line of a trooper, now a lieutenant, it was always easier to bring your troubles to them. But, they were also military nuts so "suck it up" was also a quick go to answer from your aunt, while your father was the smoother talker.
They had met Simon, loved him, his rank, his love for you, his seriousness. They trusted him completely with your heart.
So, when he called them, after the evidence leaked...
They believed him.
"What're you talking about?" You took the handle of the chair in your grip, easing you down into it as your legs do weak at what you were hearing. "I didn't...I didn't do it, Dad."
"Do you know how humiliating and disappointing--how it felt to hear him say that to me, hm?" he says, static crackles on the reciever. "My daughter...my own flesh and blood...working with terrorists--"
"I'm not working with anyone! Are you-" you huff out a breath of disbelief. "Are you even listening to me? I've never betrayed the code. How can you think that way of me?"
For a moment, he's silent. "Alright, then," he began. "Than, what'd you do? huh?"
"What--what..."
"Oh, come on, (Y/n)!" your father yells. "What did you do?! What could they possibly have had on you that made you the most likely target? You had to have had done something, been somewhere, were with somebody you weren't supposed to be with! They didn't just get that information from anywhere."
"What the fuck--" Your expression twists with frustration and misery, running your hand through your hair, pulling at it. "I've sacrificed every part of myself for this job, for this team, what do I have to gain from throwing that all away? They send me everywhere, places you've never heard of, places you'll never hear about and people you'll never have to meet, because of me! Why would you just believe Simon? Why couldn't you just wait to talk to me?!"
Hearing your father scoff at your words was painful. "What reason do I have not to believe him? He knows you, maybe even better than any of us. Besides, he was going to be my son in law--"
"I'm your daughter! Fuck Simon, what about me? You'd believe him instead?"
He sighs. "Listen, you're upsetting Cass. We didn't expect your call. I gotta make this brief..."
"You're upset?" pulling at your hair, sucking in sharply. "I'm the one who's permanently fucking altered here. What do either of you have to be upset about?!"
"Watch your fucking mouth!" he seethes. The anger in his voice isn't new, but the way he spits it at you is. "You did this to yourself, I didn't. Maybe that's what your nightmares were about, am I right? Your guilt?"
Wiping the streaks of tears that had fallen down your face, lips quivering and chest aching with sobs you frustratedly shoved down. "Why don't you believe me?"
"I don't deserve the disgrace that will come with you as my kin, I've lived my part of this war. No daughter of mine should even be in this fucking position," your father spat, disgusted into the receiver. Suddenly, he was the cruel, bitter old man your mother had always known him to be, you wished she had stayed to at least remind you of that. Maybe it wouldn't have hurt as much. "You should be ashamed of yourself, but at least you got yourself out it. The least you could do for us."
"Well--what does that mean?" you spoke, quietly.
"Don't call again..."
"Dad, no--" you break this time, a sob escaping you.
"Me and your Aunt Cass..."
"Daddy please, don't do this--"
"..We've decided to cut ties. We're not taking any heat from this, you're on your own," he finishes, clearing his throat, waiting a moment, listening to the pleads and cries of his only daughter, his once pride. "You take care of yourself. Goodbye, kid."
"Why can't you just believe me? Why?!" you cried.
"Don't come to the house."
"No, no,--" the line goes dead. And staring down at your phone, his caller id going blank and the call disconnecting.
Your phone all of a sudden feels heavy, the device and your hand falling down to your thigh, before the phone slips out of your grip and onto the floor. You sit there silently, until your tears drop up and even after.
Staring at the photo now was haunting in its own way, it was just another painful reminder.
Using the bed frame to stand to your feet, your grip on the frame is painful as you squeeze it, the glass cracks audibly.
"Bonnie..."
Whipping around at the sound of John MacTavish's voice, you back up a few steps at the sight of him, your back hitting the edge of your desk.
He reaches out as you stumble, before his fingers curl back into his palm as you find your balance, his hands receding back to his sides. He doesn't enter the room, just lingering just beyond the doorway, his eyes flickering around the room, guiltily.
"I didn't know--we didn't know you were out," he speaks quietly, as opposed prideful personality that translated into his voice usually.
You say nothing.
In the dark, your eyes are wide and your shoulders are tensed up, he can see the glint of your leg braces, the iv pole at the side, the scar beneath your eye. You looked terrified to see him.
"We were coming back to clean up today, just got back from...from a mission..." he stutters on his words, shifting his feet.
"It's been a week."
His lips press together hearing your voice. "I know..." Johnny glances around at the room he'd let those officers destroy, it hadn't been them, but they might as well had done it. "I know...we just...didn't know it was so bad."
"Really?" your voice is mockingly sweet, drawing out the word. "You didn't know? Well look..." you hold up your family photo, the light in the hallway catching on the glass. "You missed one."
Your hand dropping, the heavy frame comes down just as fast, ramming into the ground, the glass practically exploding on impact.
Johnny flinches, the photo of your family...He looks back to you, surprised. "Bonnie..."
Snatching the next closest thing from your desk, a ceramic cup. "Oh, wow, can't believe you guys missed this one," you chuck it into the wall. It breaks on impact, the remains scatter along the flipped mattress and onto the floor. "That used to be my favorite mug by the way."
The Scotsman worriedly steps forwards, 'Lass, I'm sorry--"
"FUCK YOU!" you spat, coming into the light. You're sure you look deranged, and you didn't care. You could've wrapped your hands around his throat, killed him right on the floor and you wouldn't have blinked. "It doesn't mean anything! 'I'm sorry', 'I'm sorry', 'I'm sorry', over and over and over again! As if you shouldn't be! Your apologies mean fuck all."
"I know...I know," he breathes. "But, I've gotta say it anyway, bonnie. I should've believed you, there was no reason not to. I know that now. I just--"
"Believe me!" you cut him off with a yell. "Trust me! Fucking 'HELP ME'!" you screamed with the same fever as your days in the interrogation room, that terrible cell, the cold, the burn and pain. "I cried it all to you, to all of you, and nobody came. Nobody came for me," you breathe in sharply. "It doesn't matter what you should've done. You didn't do it!"
Johnny's eyes are red, he opens his mouth, closes it and then swallows down whatever chokes him up as he looks at you. "I should've came for you. I wish I did. I wanted to, Bonnie..." he steps forwards, and you recede back away from him, your eyes narrowed with violence. "I'll never forgive myself for not listening to you. For not coming to help you. For laying a hand on you. I'm so sorry, (Y/n). I'm sorry..."
I'll never forgive myself... "That makes two of us," you assured.
Johnny's eyes widen, before they close, his guilt ever consuming. He can't help but understand, to respect your decision, to know things can never be ok again. "(Y/n)...."
Grabbing hold of the nearest thing, a pencil cup, you hurl it at Johnny. He doesn't put his hands up, flinching as it hits him, the metal clinking against his kevlar, eyes closing then opening, he stands still. "I don't forgive. I don't accept your apology. I don't fucking care about it!" with each sentence you throw something else his way, a broken frame, the trash bin, a pillow, the CD player.
His hand has to come up for the knife you unsheathe, a memento from one of your missions, it's rusted, ancient probably. But, you hadn't given it up to a museum or to pawn, you had nearly died on this mission, saving Johnny ironically. You had to keep it.
Seeing the weapon, his defensive position is instinctive but his hands drop just as fast, he understands, you need this. You deserve this. "If you need to..." he speaks. Your eyes flicker up to him, away from the knife. "If you need to, I get it..."
And you need to. You really fucking do.
Your grip on the knife is dangerously hard, it hurts.
Looking at Johnny, he'd been your brother in more than a few ways on and off the field, he had been your comfort, your friend, your family. You had bled with him, held onto him as he carried you from the battlefield, joked, laughed, screamed and cried. You've loved him for years.
He'd had a rough few nights you could see that. He was quieter, reserved. Almost as terrified to see you, as you had been of him.
And you could kill him right now and never bat an eye.
And so, throwing that knife was so fucking easy.
Johnny's eyes close as you do just that, fists clenching and teeth biting down on his tongue to prepare for the pain.
The ancient weapon whiz's through the air, the sound is sharp and he knows it will cut through him like butter.
The thud rings in the room, and Johnny's eyes blow open wide, holding his breath as he collapses to his knees, before turning to you.
You dig into the pile of clothes that had been cast aside, a pair of sneakers and a new shirt. You don't look at him a single time as you take it all, stuffing them in a bag, and leaving the room, passing him completely, a limp in your step.
Johnny releases a pained breath, tears finally leaving him as he looks up, the knife lodged into the frame of the doorway, just barely missing him. The sleeve of his uniform ripped open.
He sits there in the quiet, destroyed room. A testimony to the relationship he's destroyed between you.
Part 4!! OUT NOW
#simon riley angst x reader#cod angst#tw torture#tw angst#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley#ghost angst#ghost x reader#call of duty x reader#call of duty
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After All This Time (kmg)
When you're asked to be on the wedding party of a long-lost friend, you get the chance to reconnect with former classmate Mingyu, but not without your old feelings and struggles resurfacing.
pairing: groomsman!mingyu x bridesmaid!reader
w.c: 18,7k
genre: friends to lovers, fluff, smut, minor angst, it's another self-indulgent 'running away from your high school past' story from me.
warnings: alcohol consumption, a lot of not standing up for oneself, kind of unrealistic wedding timeline (i've never been a bridesmaid so bare with me), mingyu has no flaws here because... im in love with him, this might be badly written I can't really tell anymore | smut: it's messy, and rough, face sitting, unprotected penetration (don't do this), multiple orgasms (f). lmk if im missing anything
still into you by paramore - i often listened to this song while writing this. i wasn't particularly inspired by it but the title did come from its lyrics, and i think it's pretty fitting
The unopened letter stares at you from across the table. Trying to ignore it by doing your housekeeping chores is pointless. Scrubbing your toilet, doing your laundry, making your bed, and even cooking your meal preps for the entire week, nothing managed to take your head away from that stupid letter, wondering what could possibly be.
You and Olivia havenât spoken properly since graduating high school many years ago. The last time you had a full-on conversation with her was when she told you she started seeing a new guy freshman year in college, someone who went to your same high school but never knew. Besides that, your only form of âcommunicationâ was liking each other's Instagram stories and the yearly happy birthday text. A letter from her addressed to you was the last thing you expected to see today, or ever.
Curiosity finally wins as you take it and inspect it up close. The pastel pink envelope with golden details feels sturdy in your hands, and the wax seal is stamped with two initials, O and T. The boyfriendâs name appears in your memory as the realization hits you. Olivia and Thomas.
This is a wedding invitation.
Opening the envelope just confirms your thoughts, but thereâs more to it than just a mere invitation. Just below some details such as dress code and the plus one, thereâs a part specifically addressed to you asking you to be one of Oliviaâs bridesmaids. Your stomach turns, anxiety, and excitement battling it out in each of your organs. For one, itâs really heartwarming that she thought of you as a friend still and wants you to be a part of such a special day as her wedding. On the other side, itâll be awkward to see everyone again after such a long time, because, weirdly enough, you never encountered anyone you knew ever again, even if you didnât move away and still frequented same places as before.
Except, maybe that anxiety is just because of one person, whoâs probably going to be more than involved in this wedding. Cassie, your other best friend.
Being a trio was never a problem. Actually, itâs probably the better friend group arrangement for you. The three of you got along immediately since the first day of middle school and never looked back. It was always fun and comfortable, you thought you had found your best friends for life. But something happened around the age when girls start noticing boys, when everyone starts going on dates, flirting, kissing, getting into relationships. Thatâs when you realized you and Cassie had the exact same type. It became almost like a routine: youâd notice a cute guy around school but didnât say anything, and the next thing you know, at the next party Cassie would also notice him and hook up with him. You were sure you were in your very own Truman Show.
Was it partially your fault for not saying anything? Maybe, but did it have to happen with literally every single guy you were ever attracted to? It reached a point where you would constantly doubt yourself, compare yourself to her, was she cooler? Prettier? Smarter? Funnier?
In the end, it wasnât her fault, and youâd never blame her for that, but for your own good and the wellness of your crumbling self-confidence, you had to get away from that situation. And you did. At least until now. But itâs been years, youâre not the same person you were back in high school, and hopefully, all of your self-doubting was also left in the past.
A sky-high, lavish building stands before you in all of its glory. You were no stranger to your old friendâs rich family, but her lifestyle always managed to take you by surprise.
Olivia wanted all the bridesmaids and groomsmen to meet and get comfortable with each other, so she and her fiancĂŠ arranged a little afternoon party at their apartment. Over the few texts you exchanged with Olivia, she failed to mention the other people on the wedding party. So during the elevator ride, you think of every possibility, who could be there that you know? With how many people from school has she kept in contact with? Will you know the groomâs friends?
The doorbell rings inside the busy apartment, and a few seconds later youâre welcomed by your old friend with a bright smile. You hug Olivia tightly, the weirdness of the situation fading away for a few seconds. Afterward, you greet everyone with a shy smile, recognizing some faces and encountering new ones. Some people are standing in groups of three or four, while others sit on the couch or a few scattered chairs, talking with each other comfortably.
âWhile we wait for the last people to arrive, I want to start telling you what I have planned.â
Olivia announces as you walk away slowly, and you find an empty wall by the hallway to rest against.
At least twenty minutes pass, in which Olivia doesnât take one breath, her happiness and excitement showing through her endless words. The wedding plan is not really out of the ordinary, but the scale of things, thatâs the impressive part. She has seven bridesmaids, including you, plus the maid of honor who hasnât arrived yet, and her fiancĂŠ has the same number of grooms, plus the best man. Each of you will pair up throughout the days coming up to the ceremony, and on the big day, each pair will have matching outfits and even a dance scheduled after the coupleâs first dance as a married couple. Her idea was essentially thought so no one would feel out of place and enjoy the ceremony, because it should be a happy day for everyone.
While she explains everything for the second time, you take your time to look around the big room full of people. Scanning every face, there isnât really a lot of girls you know, but the groomsmen, on the other hand, all of them went to your same high school. It seems Oliviaâs fiancĂŠ still hangs out with his same group of friends. One of them, in particular, sparks a little smile across your face.
Mingyu was the only other person you considered a real friend in school. As scary and anxiety inducing as it is to have classes without your small friend group, he made it more than bearable, enjoyable even. Becoming friends with the nerdy boy assigned as your lab partner is one of the things you remember fondly about those years of your life. He was like a breath of fresh air during all the turmoil. Would he remember you?
His eyes catch yours from across the room, and an instant smile forms across his lips. After all the years that passed, he still looks the same. Heâs much more mature and fully over puberty now, his broad bulky frame being one of the more standing out new things about him, but youâd recognize that confused expression and toothy smile with fangs peeking out anywhere. Your mood rapidly improves as he mouths a âhiâ and waves his hand lightly at you, not wanting to interrupt the bride to be. You repeat his greeting with a growing grin, but your small interaction is cut short.
Your name catches your attention, and you turn to Olivia, âyou and Mingyu will be our last pair. Is that okay?â
The relief is immediate. It might be a little awkward, but at least youâll be with someone you know. You and Mingyu look at each other once again and then nod at her, but before she can continue with whatever she is saying, the entry door opens behind her.
âHi everyone!â The familiar voice makes your stomach drop, âIâm sorry Iâm late. My boss wouldnât let me go.â
She looks the same too, only with longer hair and more mature features on her face. Her body language holds the same coolness, as sure of herself as she was when you were younger.
âItâs fine. Itâs nothing the maid of honor hasnât heard before.â Olivia replies to her with a chuckle.
âOh my god! I havenât seen you in so long!â When she greets you, you straighten your posture, put on your best smile, and hug her back. âHow are you doing?â
âHey Cassie, good, good, just working my life away!â
You joke and try to ease up your emotions. Your few words manage to satisfy her as she nods with a smile, walks away, and pecks one of the groomsmen â her boyfriend? â on the lips before sitting by his side.
The schedule is easy for Olivia to finish explaining it, so in no time, food starts rolling in, and conversations pop up between everyone, either catching up or normal everyday chats. Cassie starts telling a story about something that happened earlier at her job, but you donât really understand it. You havenât talked to them in so long, you donât know what they do for a living, or where they work. You donât know them anymore, and youâre too afraid to ask.
To the side, a couple of people over, Mingyuâs talking with the rest of the grooms' friends comfortably. You want to talk to him, but what would you say? Itâs not like you were the closest of friends. You never hung out outside of the school, and your friend groups never actually interacted until now. Actually, you never told Olivia and Cassie about him. Maybe because you were afraid that if you introduced him to Cassie, heâd swoon over her like the rest of the guys you ever interacted with romantically.
An uneasy feeling creeps in on you as memories of your past fight to climb up on your memory. Feelings and thoughts you havenât felt in years come back up, almost reliving everything in a matter of milliseconds. You need to talk to someone, take your mind off of your overthinking. Because this is not the time nor the place to get so gloomy.
You get to talk with the rest of the bridesmaids, and the anxiousness of it all starts bubbling down, and youâre much more comfortable. A couple of them are close family friends with Olivia, also as rich as her, but still really nice girls, even if a little airheaded, and the rest are friends from college.
Time passes by easily, and soon enough, the sun is already set.
On the ride back home, your mind starts spiraling again. Do you even fit in with all those people? An invite to her wedding wouldâve been just fine, but a bridesmaid? You feel like a total stranger, someone from her past whoâs meddling around trying to sneak into a place she purposely left behind. At least you wonât have to see anyone ever again after the wedding is over.
It is said that changing your usual routine helps improving your mood, taking another path home, shopping at a new place, sitting down at a different park, trying a new coffee order, changing the little things to feel more energized and be more productive. You wouldnât know, because every task you complete as fast as possible to be back home quickly. So, after days of not being able to think about anything else but the upcoming wedding, itâs your only option left.
With the sky lit up with golden light, the grass and trees as green as ever, and a light breeze that prevents you from getting too hot, you walk around a park youâve never been to before, with your new âhot girl walkâ playlist as a soundtrack. The kids running around the playground are the only sounds that get through your ears besides the music, maybe a bark or two as well, and the sun against your skin soothes all your worries. Damn. Going on a walk does fix your mood.
A hand grabbing your arm softly startles you, and youâre about to punch the mystery person when you recognize his face.
âMingyu?â
His eyes are focused on your fist that was ready to hit him, and you lower it down, beginning to take out your airpods.
âSorry! You scared me!â You erupt in a nervous laughter.
âIâm sorry! I called your name but you didnât hear me.â He stands apologetic in front of you, looking down at his feet before daring to look back up. âHow are you doing? We didnât get to talk the other day.â
âYeah! Itâs good to see you! I didnât expect you to be there, it was a nice surprise.â Is it too weird to say that? Well, itâs already done.
He gets the tiniest bit shy at your words, his ears turning a light shade of pink before disappearing quickly.
You notice a bicycle by his side, a cute pink helmet with glittery heart stickers hanging by the handle. He mustâve been biking when he saw you and took it off before calling your name.
âI didnât know if you were still friends with Olivia, I didnât know if I was going to see you either.â
You fixate on the first part of his sentence, ignoring your bodyâs reaction to him implying he wanted to see you.
âOh, weâre not really that close anymore.â Thereâs a silence as you finish your words, as it wasnât the reply he was expecting. âLife, you know? We just grew apart.â
It was you who stopped making an effort to talk to her, but even if it was still for your own good, youâre a little ashamed to admit it to Mingyu.
âShe still asked you to be her bridesmaid. That must mean something.â Ever the positive guy, he tries to make you feel better after the sour comment.
âYeah, itâs really nice of her.â The sun shining so bright prevents you from looking up at him, but you smile, hoping he can see it.
The slow steps youâve been taking side by side turn awkward with silence. You wanted so badly to talk to him after the other day, but now that heâs here, in front of you, you canât think of anything.
âItâs good that you still hang out with the guys.â
You donât know what else to say, and the words spill out of your mouth. He doesnât seem to notice the awkward atmosphere, his body as comfortable as ever walking by your side.
âYeah, even though not as often as Iâd like.â A regretful smile forms across his lips. âOur schedules havenât been lining up, I met Olivia in person maybe a total of three times over the years.â
âWhat? Thereâs no way you didnât share any classes in school?â
He shakes his head, chuckling at your surprise.
âI think I only ever shared one class with her, but I didnât really care much about her crowd back then.â
âWow, thanks for that.â
He means all the popular guys your friends would hang out with, and you know it, but there was always something so fun in teasing him and seeing him get so pouty.
"You know I donât mean you.â
His shoulder pushes your body lightly to the side, and you chuckle together. Itâs hard to prevent the red from rushing to your cheeks. Maybe heâll mistake it for a faint sunburn.
âThatâs a cute helmet you got there.â Your eyes point to it as a way to distract him.
âOh, that?â He picks it up with what seems to be an embarrassed voice tone, but his actions quickly override it. He puts it on proudly and looks at you with his eyebrows raised, âmy sister gave it to me when I bought the bike, gets all the ladies.â
âI'm sure it does.â
Attention from women he for sure gets, but probably not because of that thing. His tall, muscular body is enhanced by the tight blue t-shirt he's wearing. You didnât get a proper look at him the other day, and now, standing next to him in broad daylight, you almost wish you could still live in the ignorance bliss of not knowing the exact height difference between you two.
âSo, what are you doing around here?â
His words make you realize youâve been staring for a few seconds, and you look ahead, hoping he didnât notice. He forgets to remove the helmet, making you chuckle quietly before answering.
âI just got off from work and thought it would be nice to take a different route home.â
âThatâs such a coincidence! I come here, like, almost every week to bike around.â
âWow, It really is.â
For how long have you been avoiding this specific park for no reason? Pushing away your chance of meeting the one and only person you wouldâve wanted to?
A ping from his phone alerts both of you, taking you out of your little bubble.
âSorry I-" His expression falls as he reads the new text, âI have to get going, but it was really nice seeing you!â
"Oh, sure! I didnât mean to hold you back.â It comes out quieter than youâd like. âGoodbye!â With a simple smile and a tiny wave at him, you turn around.
Right when he gets on his bicycle again, before he starts pedaling, he looks back at you, taking your first step in the opposite direction.
âWait!â When you turn around, heâs taking his phone out of his front pocket, âCan I get your number?â
The both of you blush at his words, and you look up at him cautiously.
âSo we can catch up and, you know, get comfortable with each other for the wedding.â
You had already forgotten about that. The reason you even met him again in the first place.
âSure!â
Your hand trembles slightly when you take his phone, and you mentally beat yourself up for it. Itâs just your number! It could mean nothing.
âIâll text you later so you can save mine.â
And with a wink, heâs off to whatever he was late to.
Great. Now youâre not only re-living your high-school anxieties but also your high-school crushes.
During the following days, you find yourself checking your phone more often than ever, always with the hope that youâll get a new message from Mingyu. Texting almost every day since the encounter at the park, the time when youâre both free to talk has become your favorite part of the day.
It started shyly, merely updating the other about your lives since finishing high school, your jobs, and hobbies. But as time passed, the never-ending conversation eased onto your daily routines. Youâd wake up and text Mingyu, update him as you arrive at work. Lunch, break, evening, clocking out, dinner. Every little free time you got, youâd text each other back and forth.
A text notification cheers you up constantly, thinking that it could possibly be him again. But itâs not always the case, like this time.
Itâs Olivia reminding you that, in exactly 29 minutes, you have the dance rehearsal with all the maids and grooms. Half an hour, and you live 1 hour away from the studio she rented. A little white lie never hurt anyone, so you tell her something came up and you'll be just a little late.
You love weddings, but if you had to choose one thing you donât like about them, it would definitely be the dancing. You canât dance for shit. Youâd tell your right leg to move forward, and your left leg would move backwards, like your body canât comprehend instructions when theyâre related to dancing. Usually, you stay in your seat, choosing not to embarrass yourself in front of all the guests, but this time, you canât get out of it. Poor Mingyu will leave the class with at least five bruises on his feet from you stepping on him.
The dance studio is part of a new, contemporary looking building on the exact geographic center of the city, a place you would always pass by but never thought youâll get to enter. Standing at the front desk, over half an hour late, you feel too out of place. Your clothes are probably wrong, your hair is completely disheveled, you donât remember on which floor is your class, and you donât even know the name of the dance teacher.
After a long discussion with the receptionist, she finally understands what youâre here for and lets you go up to the 13th floor.
The walk from the elevator to the studio feels longer than it actually is. Three to four footsteps become long, slow turtle-like steps. But not even the infinite time you spend taking four steps prepare you for your stomach to drop down to the basement at the sight of Mingyu dancing with Cassie as soon as you open the door.
His hands on her waist, her arms around his neck, dancing slowly in circles, laughing about something she just said, you can almost hear something inside you break. After all this time, nothing really changed.
âHey! Youâre finally here!â
Oliviaâs voice brings you back to earth.
âHi! Iâm really sorry I couldnât get here sooner.â The dance teacher gives you a look, and you lower down your voice, âSo how is this going?â
âWe had to put them together,â she points the dreaded pair, directing your eyes to them once again, âbecause neither you or Tyler were here when we started, but after the songâs over you can join him and Iâll practice with Cassie, okay?â
You nod with the best spirit you can manage to express.
âIs Tyler the guy she was with the other day?â
You donât forget to whisper so the class isnât interrupted by your chatter.
âHeâs the only one of Tom's friends whoâs not from school, donât worry, you didnât erase him from your memory.â
You stifle a laugh before it gets loud.
âGood, I was starting to feel bad about not recognizing him.â
In reality, his existence doesnât matter much to you either way, except for something. âAre him and Cassie a thing?â
âShe says itâs something casual but, and donât tell her about this, I paired them up together on purpose so they can finally realize that they like each other!â
Your lungs clear of air in an instant after hearing those words. Sheâs not available. She has a boyfriend, sort of. A boyfriend who you do not know nor have feelings for.
âYour secret's safe with me.â
âMingyu's nice and all, but if he messes with my plan and charms her, I will personally revoke his invitation to the wedding.â
You both chuckle just as the song finally ends, yours quieter than hers. Both of them see you with Olivia, but only Cassie comes forward to say hi.
âHey girls! Good to see you!â She gives you a little hug before directing to Olivia. âSo⌠Tyler isnât showing up, I assume.â
âHe told me a few minutes ago that something came up and canât come, sorry.â
Her hand flies to Cassie's shoulders to comfort her, but she doesnât seem bummed by the news.
âWell, then, I have something to ask you.â
Her presence suddenly becomes overwhelming as she grins at you with a proposition in mind, seemingly all thought out.
âAre you close with Mingyu? Olivia told me you were classmates.â
How did she know? Maybe you did tell her about him after all.
âHe used to be my lab partner. Why?â
âHow did you not crush on him back then? Heâs such a cutie.â
âI probably did, I donât remember.â Lie.
âCould you find out if he has a girlfriend, pleeease?â
A buzzing sound is all you hear for a few seconds, like your brain forgets how to function. Words donât come out, and youâre freezed in place as Cassie looks at you expectantly. To the side, Olivia looks just as puzzled by her request.
âW-why?â
âBecause, heâs really hot and, if I need a quick rebound because of that other fucker, I need to know Iâm not messing with a relationship.â
Silence is all you produce once again.
âI just need a tiny bit of info, and itâll be weird if I ask him directly, so could you please try?â
âSure⌠Iâll try, but Iâm not promising anything.â
Youâve never sounded less excited about something in your whole life. You love some gossip and some drama, but not if it involves a genuinely nice guy like Mingyu being used. Or maybe itâs just because itâs him.
âThank you, thank you, thank you.â
Cassie jumps excitedly and hugs you once again, just as the dance teacher calls for everyone to gather.
Mingyuâs hands slot carefully at the sides of your waist, guiding you swiftly and sparking goosebumps across your back. Your arms wrap awkwardly around his neck, making him crouch a bit so you can look properly at each other.
âWere you always this good? Or did you become a professional waltz dancer in the half hour I wasnât here?â
You remember him telling you the other day, during your endless text conversations, that he, like you, wasnât particularly excited about dancing.
âLetâs say, hypothetically, that I practiced before coming here, what would that say about me? Hypothetically.â
âIt would say that,â you drown out a cackle before you can continue, âyou take your duty as a groomsman very seriously, hypothetically.â
âGood, I wouldnât want you to think I was a dork, hypothetically.â
âYouâre too late, I already thought that.â
A pout forms on his mouth at your giggles, and he flashes the world's most menacing puppy eyes ever.
âI mean it in the best way possible!â
âIsnât it embarrassing?â
âItâs cute!â
His face shifts with skepticism, sending enough signals saying he didnât like your choice of words.
âItâs charming!â
The warmth his body emanates wraps around you fast. His expectant eyes looking down at you and the closeness of your bodies rises your temperature in record time, your cheeks pinking up furiously. You keep talking as the nervousness takes over you.
âAt least it worked! Youâre a really good dancer, Iâm sorry I keep missing the beats.â
âYouâre giving me too much credit. Youâre not that bad.â
âNow youâre just lying. My limbs are physically unable to coordinate more than three steps. Youâre guiding me through every single one!â
His hands tighten just the tiniest bit around your waist, like a confirmation for the both of you that theyâre still there.
The teacherâs voice echoes all around you until it finally punctures your bubble, and youâre able to hear the class youâre here for. The steps sheâs explaining for a second time make no sense in your head, too many turns and moves for you (and your body) to comprehend.
âI need all the pairs to practice the final steps again.â
Only her final words make sense on your mind, and when you look towards Mingyu, his hand left its place on your body and is extended at you, his eyes kind yet concentrated back on the dance. You nod, taking his hand with an electrifying rush going through your veins.
Mingyu guides you firmly but with care, moving along the beats of the waltz. With each step, your synchronization improves, and the moves flow along easily, your bodies understanding each other. You canât help but smile as you look him in the eyes, a familiar warm feeling bubbling up inside you.
âYou're doing a really good job.â
His eyes catch yours, a little wrinkle forming by each of their sides before he cracks a smile to match yours. Thereâs something in the way he looks like when paying attention to you, like a spell being casted on you, making you crave more.
âItâs because itâs comfortable with you.â
Your mouth betrays you and sends out the words without checking with your brain, but weirdly enough, you donât fear his reaction. Itâs just the truth.
âWeâre more in synch than you thought.â
You swear you see a glimpse of a smirk before he spins you in his arms.
As you turn and move together through the song, you think your excitement isn't solely because of the rehearsal going well. It could be simply a wish, but a spark of something is definitely lighting up. The way Mingyu holds you, attentive and confident, you can't help to think he feels it too.
âYou think we can be this good the day of the wedding?â
Thereâs more anticipation than curiosity in your voice, remembering youâll keep meeting until then, youâll keep seeing him.
Mingyu reaches closer until his warm breath fans your ear and his lips graze your cheek.
âWe could meet a few days before and practice, like I hypothetically did today.â
âYou think I need practice?â You tease to hide the blush creeping up your cheeks.
âMaybe itâs an excuse to see you again.â
A mix of shyness and giddiness overtakes you as you giggle at his proposition. But in the midst of your interaction, you skip a crucial move and begin to turn, stepping right on one of Mingyuâs feet and almost tripping over to the side. His hand secures you by the waist, the hem of your t-shirt raised just enough so his fingers brush your fiery bare skin.
âOk, maybe I do need the practice too.â
The teacher talks to you on the background, but itâs hard to concentrate on anything other than Mingyuâs touch lighting fires across your body, his worried eyes over your âalmostâ fall, and his smile when he realizes youâre laughing at your clumsiness.
The music starts over, and you only realize it because his hand is extended at you once again.
âLetâs give it another try.â
âSo, you didnât get to ask him?â
âIâm sorry, I forgot about it. I was so focused on learning the dance that it slipped my mind.â
Running into Cassie coming out of the subway was the last thing you expected (and wanted) right now. Trying on dresses is the one bridesmaid related thing you were least excited about. So many hours of putting clothes on and off, picking colors, showing the rest of the girls, giving your opinion on their dresses, and listening to their opinions on yours. It just sounds so exhausting. But your mental pep talk got interrupted when Cassie saw you walking up the stairs of the station heading to the bridal shop.
âItâs okay, donât worry about it.â
âHe didnât say anything that would imply he has one, if that helps.â
More than a helping hand to her, you're starting to hope heâs single too.
âThatâs good to know, thank you.â
âI donât really get why you wanted to know, though. I thought you had a boyfriend.â
âHeâs not... I mean, itâs not like, official. I wanted him to get jealous, but I'm over that now.â
âOh, so... you talked about it with him?"
âKind of... he just explained why he couldnât come to the rehearsal, and I just, couldnât get mad at him simply for that, right?â
âRight...â
You know virtually nothing about their ârelationshipâ, or about him for that matter, so itâs maybe for the best to stay out of their⌠thing.
âAnyway, about today, do you have something in mind for your dress?â
âNot really, I was just thinking of browsing through the store and seeing what they have.â
âWow, really? Youâre so chill about it. I have a pinterest board with all the styles and shapes I like. I even checked their online store to see what they have in stock beforehand.â
âThatâs⌠actually really smart.â
âNah, donât be nice. Did you at least think of a color? Olivia wants all of us to be different colors, but in pastel, obviously. I personally didnât really care about it, but I chose pink after some thought.â
âOh, actually, I didn't know that.â
âItâs okay, you can decide when we get there.â
âDid the rest of the girls choose already?â
âMaybe? I havenât had the chance to ask them.â
âI hope I donât get green then, I donât really like how it looks on me.â
âYouâll look amazing either way. Donât let a simple color wear you down!â
Small talk with Cassie turns out to be quite nice in the short walk you have up to the store. It's a pretty shallow conversation, but not at all stressful like you thought.
The place is really fancy looking, tall glass windows and blinding white interior. It makes you take a breath just by looking at the displayed dresses. Relieved that Olivia said multiple times that sheâll take care of everything and not to worry about the prices, you and Cassie walk inside.
You didnât expect every girl to be already there, and you especially didnât expect the groomsmen to be also all there. The girls browse through racks and racks of different shaped and colored dresses, and the men are sitting back, talking with one another, waiting for their bridesmaid to ask for their opinion.
Cassie goes straight to greet Mingyu with a hug. Even if he isnât the closest one to the door. Even if Tyler is there also. And you walk behind her, slowly, shy because of all the people aware of your arrival. You give Mingyu a shy smile as a greet, and he returns it warmly.
After the dance rehearsal all those days back, youâve been hesitant about contacting him again. Thereâs nothing wrong with him. Itâs quite the opposite, actually. Heâs caring, attentive, and kind towards you. You just donât want to fall in your black hole of a crush on him again. especially after Cassie made it clear to you that heâs caught her eye too. Sure, she just told you she made up with her boyfriend, but her actions are already contradicting her words.
Olivia sees you with Cassie and walks quickly towards you two with a smile on her face.
âHey girls! How do you like the store?! Isnât it huge?â
âItâs unbelievable! Iâm gonna need at least two hours to look through all the dresses!â
Cassie answers, staring at the lengthy room in awe. You can feel Mingyuâs eyes on you. Or maybe on Cassie. Regardless, youâre in his line of sight, and it gives you chills.
âWell, you have all the time in the world today. I reserved the whole store for the entire day for all of us, and the staff is also here to help us if needed, so donât worry about asking for help!â
âThatâs amazing!â You both exclaim at the same time.
âThank you!â Cassie doesnât look back and goes straight to the racks of pink dresses. Youâre about to go and walk around as well. Maybe try to find a color that suits you, but Olivia stops you before you can even take a step.
âWait! I got the list of the available colors left for you,â she hands you a sheet of paper with almost everything on it crossed out, âIâm sorry, I know there isnât much left.â
âOh donât worry, itâs fine. I shouldâve picked it earlier. Itâs not your fault.â
Itâs disappointing to see that only two items arenât crossed out. Light teal and pastel green. Green and teal arenât ugly colors by any means, but you always feel awkward when wearing them, so youâve learned to avoid them. The back of your throat itches to close as you think about looking ugly at the wedding, in front of so many people, in front of him.
âI saw some of the teal dresses earlier, and theyâre all super cute! Youâll look amazing!â
âOh, ok, Iâll go check them out. But, just in case, isnât there any way for me to change colors?â
âYou could ask someone to swap with you.â
Your mind instantly goes to Cassie. Earlier, she told you she didnât care which color she wore, maybe she wouldnât mind switching with you. You spot her easily on one corner, asking Mingyu about his opinion. She looks up at him with glittery eyes as one of her hands places itself on his arm. The sight turns your stomach upside down. You want to stop watching the scene as much as you want to break them apart.
Your legs make the decision for you and walk you to where theyâre standing. They donât notice you walking over to them until you speak up.
âHey, sorry to interrupt you guys, but Cassie, could I ask you something?â
Mingyuâs the first one to look up at you, his face lighting up as you interrupt whatever Cassie was saying to him. Sheâs slower, making sure to hang the dress back on the rack before turning to face you.
âWhat do you need?â
There's very little annoyance on her tone, but you donât miss the way her eyebrows arch and her eyes dart to Mingyu, signaling you that she wants some alone time.
âI wanted to ask if you, by any chance, were willing to switch colors with me?â
âWhat happened? Which ones are left?â
âBasically, just green.â
âOh, thatâs such a bummer.â
Thereâs a silence when she finishes talking. You wait for her to continue, blinking at her, but she just doesnât. Her sentence ended there.
âYeah, so, would you swap with me?â
âIâŚâ Her body language turns awkward as she thinks of an answer, side-eyeing Mingyu, whoâs also waiting for her, but with no context to what youâre asking her.
âI just, you said you didnât really care about the color, so I thought you wouldnât mind changing it.â
You huff, not helping the awkward atmosphere around the three of you. Your eyes connect with Mingyuâs, who's silently watching the interaction from the side. You hate that heâs seeing you in such a state, so... desperate for something thatâs not that big of a deal anyway. You need this interaction to be over.
âYouâre right, I did say that,â you can already see where this is going, âbut, I kinda already put my mind to it, and it took a lot of convincing to get Tyler to match with me. He already bought his suit, and I donât want to make him mad by changing everything so suddenly, Iâm sorry.â
âOhâŚâ
You can feel your stomach contracting, your throat threatening to close, your eyes getting ready to be filled with tears. This is so stupid. Itâs just a stupid color. It's a stupid dress youâll never wear again. Why is it affecting you so much?
âWait, Iâm sure Tyler wouldnât mind changing.â
Mingyuâs soft voice sounds closer to you, but you canât really see much with your eyes trained to the ground and vision blurry from tearing up.
âNo, itâs fine, letâs not bother him.â
Blinking away the tears is easy, but looking up and finding a concerned Mingyu makes you feel like jelly. Cassieâs long forgotten as you focus on him, his tall figure watching over you, his hand placed on your shoulder, squeezing lightly, silently comforting you.
âIâll go try and find something I like.â
âI can look with you if you want.â
âNo, itâs fine, you can go back to what you were doing.â
You walk away, leaving him standing there, still worried about your sudden reaction. Cassie is just behind him, waiting for the opportunity to get his attention back.
But you try not to think about him or her while browsing through the store. Trying your best to be positive, to not get dragged down by a simple color choice, or by a friend â if you can call her that â that couldnât help you.
Hours go by, and itâs easier when you focus on other things. You help the other girls decide on their dresses, reacting and applauding, helping them find new ones if they arenât satisfied. Itâs fun, contrary to what you previously thought, itâs like playing a dress up game, except every now and then, itâs Cassie who comes out on the make-shift runway, and the first opinion she asks for is always Mingyu's.
At one point, everyone has already decided, and youâre the only one left. All the girls you helped come together to try and find you the best possible dress, bringing a new one to you with hopeful smiles on their faces every few minutes.
You try them on, eager to find one and be done with it. But, even if they look gorgeous when on the hanger, they always got something that doesnât sit right with you when you put them on. And after trying dress after dress, you grow more discouraged.
Olivia notices how tired you are and tells you that you can come back another day, alone and less anxious, but then again, that would mean stretching the situation for longer than needed. You decide to try on one more dress, one that Olivia picked specifically for you, and if youâre not satisfied, youâll come back with her the next day.
The store lady helps you put the dress on, her sweet smile never fading, even if itâs the tenth dress she helped you put on already. The pastel green silk fabric glides smoothly over your skin, hugging you in the right places as the lady zips it up. Your backâs facing the mirror, too afraid to look in it again and find another disappointing result.
âSweetheart, I think this is the one.â
The kind womanâs voice startles you, but her honest smile makes you believe her words. You inhale deeply, calming yourself before turning around. But instead of looking at your reflection, you walk outside the changing room and onto the lobby.
Every pair of eyes is on you the moment you step out, your arms wrap around your torso in an effort to shield yourself, and you can feel your cheeks being painted a bright red color. A few gasps are heard, and when you look around, the girls who helped you are all covering their mouths, eyes wide as they watch you cautiously strolling forward.
At the back of the store, itâs like time stops for Mingyu. Whatever he was doing, forgotten at the sight of you. He was unaware of how much your appearance could affect him. His eyes are trained on you, allured by your figure, scanning you up and down like a piece of art worth studying.
Buzz erupts all around you, mumbles and praises about your dress and how you look in it, but itâs all background noise for you. Mingyuâs heavy stare finds yours, and his ears turn a faint shade of pink. The subtlest smirk begins to form on his lips, spreading the warm feeling on your tummy all across your body. He canât seem to drive his eyes away from you, and you donât want him to. Your arms relax under his gaze, disarming the protective shield around you and drop to hang by your sides.
But, in a matter of seconds, the girls swarm around you, blocking all 360 degrees around you. Their positive opinions flood your ears as they walk you back to the dressing room, trying to convince you to choose this dress. You canât look back, but youâre sure all the groomsmen left together.
Doesnât matter. Youâre definitely getting this one.
After spending the whole day shopping together, it marvels you how these girls still want to spend time together. When they noticed all the boys left, they planned an impromptu girls' night at Oliviaâs apartment.
Itâs amazing how they can spend hours and hours talking with each other, a few drinks here and there, never running out of topics, entertaining you when youâre too tired to talk.
Your phone vibrates in your pocket, and you sit back on your side of the couch to read the new text.
Mingyu: hey, how are you?
Mingyu: sorry i couldnât stay today, they dragged me to a boys night
Everything that happened a few hours ago flashes through your mind, waking a giddy smile on your face as you reply.
You: why are you sorry?
You: the girls wanted to do a âboys freeâ night, weâre at Oliviaâs rn
Mingyu: i didnt want to leave before making sure you were okay
Oh.
You: im better now
You: it was fun helping the other girls, took my mind off of it
You: but thank you, you didnt have to worry
Mingyu: good to know :)
Mingyu: next time ill drive you home
You: drive me home? Will i sit on the bike's handlebar?
Mingyu: i was thinking more like a piggyback ride
You: hmm... ill have to think about it
You tune back to the conversation before anyone notices you not paying attention, having no idea what turns the topic has taken in the time you werenât listening.
âI think heâs definitely seeing someone.â
The girls divided into two groups with different conversations going on, but sitting in front of Cassie, you can only hear her side of the table. They might be talking about Tyler and their ârelationshipâ problems.
âI really donât think he is. He didnât use his plus one you know.â
A smile forms in your mouth when your phone vibrates in your hand once again.
Mingyu: can you believe the weddingâs so close already
You: times moving so fast
You: i cant believe its less than two weeks away
Mingyu: it feels like it was only yesterday that tom told me he was getting married
âBut today, he didnât seem at all interested, he was really out of it from the start.â
âMaybe seeing dresses all day is not his thing.â
âNo but like, I tried every move on him, and he didnât even bat an eye.â
Bits and pieces of the still going conversation manage to register on your mind, and you realize theyâre talking about Mingyu, unaware of your current chat with him.
You: is the boys only hang out getting boring? Its not very polite to be on the phone you know
Mingyu: theyre all playing games, havent looked my way in over 30 mins
Mingyu: besides i much rather talk with you
You: well i wont argue with that
Mingyu: you seem bored too
You: youâre definitely helping me get through the night
âMaybe heâs just not interested in you.â
Olivia teases Cassie, even though her comment is more than just a joke. But why is Cassie so adamant on wooing Mingyu if, according to Olivia, she really likes Tyler?
âIâll be the judge of that.â
Mingyu: you know what I just realized
Mingyu: I forgot the dance routine already
You: omg me too
You: we might have to meet to practice like you said
Mingyu: we can do it at my place
Mingyu: you up for it?
You: i should ask you that
You: your feet are going to suffer because of me
Mingyu: thatâs a risk im willing to take
Mingyu: but I gotta warn you, I take my practice very seriously
You: sure, you can carry me back to my apartment after we're done
Sitting on Mingyuâs couch, waiting for him to get back from the bathroom, youâre too tired to do anything else than looking around his living room. Itâs so him. The warm and neutral colors make everything feel cozy, with pictures of him and his family hanging on the walls â no ambiguously romantic photos with unfamiliar girls, and everything is so tidy, not one pillow out of place, even after practicing for over an hour. Out the window, you can see the sun starting to set, and the buildings across the street start lighting up. You recognize all of them.Â
All this time, heâs lived so close to you. His building barely a ten minute walk away from yours. You canât help but wonder, what wouldâve happened if you kept in touch, if you just walked two more minutes to the park he frequents, or sent him a follow request on Instagram the few times he popped up on your recommended. It comforts you that at least you have this chance to reconnect with him, to make things right.Â
But sounding confident over text is easy, and now, youâve only danced for the whole time youâve been here, barely even talked about anything else.Â
Itâs conflicting, the guilt of meeting with Mingyu behind everyoneâs back â even if itâs no oneâs business â, the excitement of seeing him alone after weeks of only wedding related stuff, and the actual need to practice the dance so you donât embarrass yourself, all colliding in your mind, making everything awkward for you.Â
Like ten thousand spectators, the windows of every apartment watch you through the glass, just sitting, waiting. Mingyu left only a couple of minutes ago, but after the many times you stepped on him, you wonder if heâs actually hurt.Â
âAre you okay? Tell me if I need to call a doctor for your feet!âÂ
You shout with your head looking towards the bathroom door. His chuckle travels all the way to your ears before he opens the door.Â
âIâm fine, I swear.âÂ
As he comes out, your body tingles with nervousness once again. He sits beside you on the couch, unknowingly making your head spin.Â
âYou sure? I donât think feet are supposed to withstand all of that.âÂ
âIâm okay, just tired, why donât we rest for a bit?âÂ
They way he sits, on his side, facing you, and his arm resting on the back of the couch, your eyes canât help but wander to where his arm muscles start showing. Every variation of the phrase âbutterflies in your stomach" could describe the way you feel as he watches you, paying so much attention that you mumble your next sentence.Â
âThis couch is way too comfortable. It makes me want to just stay here the rest of the day.âÂ
âLetâs do it! We can even have dinner here. If we order take out, we can tell them to leave it at the door.âÂ
âThat sounds nice, but one of us will have to go get it.âÂ
âWhen my roommate comes home, heâll bring it inside for us.âÂ
âOh my god, you have a roommate? When is he coming back? I donât want to be a bother.â You look towards the entry hallway, like heâs about to come in and kick you out.Â
You really donât want to leave, Mingyuâs company is already becoming one of your favorites, but you hadnât counted on being around another person, and in their home for that matter. You start to get up from where youâre sitting, worried about having overstayed your welcome, but Mingyuâs hand grabs yours softly and drags you back down.Â
âI invited you here. Itâs not like youâre trespassing.âÂ
âBut Iâve been here for hours, is it not too much?âÂ
âI guess I don't want you to leave.âÂ
His hand hasn't let go of yours, his skin against yours waking up your whole nervous system. You like how it feels when heâs looking at you, but you canât help feeling too observed under his gaze.Â
âShould we practice one more time?â You get up as your other hand takes Mingyuâs free one to try and get him off the couch too. He doesnât fight your push, but you still struggle to move him barely an inch.Â
âNow that I think about it, my feet do really hurt.âÂ
When he stands up, your hands dreadly separate as you go press play on the song you had paused earlier.Â
âYouâre a big and strong man, you can handle one more dance.âÂ
The music starts slowly, and when you turn around to go where Mingyuâs standing, heâs quick to put his hands around your waist and bring you to him.Â
Like that day in the dance class, your bodies are quickly coordinated. Youâve been over the same dance for over an hour now, so at this point, every step is engrained in your muscle memory forever.Â
âWhy donât you take the lead on this one?â He mightâve felt your sudden confidence in the moves, but fails to realize itâs only because youâre doing it with him.Â
âDo you have a death wish? The last time I tried to take the lead on a dance like this, it ended really badly.âÂ
âBut youâre doing good now! Iâm sure it couldnât have been that bad.âÂ
âDonât you remember the senior prom? When I made my date trip and he fell onto the chocolate fountain? He got completely covered in melted chocolate.â He shakes his head, making you more confused. âHe dislocated his shoulder. You really donât remember?Â
âI donât-â He chuckles at your story but stops his words when he realizes you donât get what he wants to say, âWe left early.âÂ
âOh⌠I guess you had a good time with your date.â Thinking about him with someone else puts a bad taste in your mouth.Â
âI didnât have a date, I went with the guys.â Somehow, thatâs less believable than you being a good dancer.Â
âI vaguely remember seeing you dance with a girl. Is my memory failing me?â You remember because you hated it.Â
âMaybe I did dance with someone, but I couldnât score a real date.âÂ
âYou canât be serious.âÂ
âI am! Why donât you believe me?Â
âBecause I knew at least ten girls who had a crush on you back then.âÂ
The dance is already forgotten. None of you make the effort to go over the moves. With your arms hanging around his neck and his hands holding on to your waist, youâre just going around in slow circles, eyes connected as your talk turns into something more.Â
âWell, I wasnât interested in them.âÂ
âBut still, you couldâve easily gotten a date.â You could let the subject go, and maybe you should, but you really want to make your point. âI wouldâve gone with you.âÂ
âDonât say things you donât mean.âÂ
âBut I mean it.âÂ
âYou wouldnât have gone with me.âÂ
âYou donât know that.âÂ
âYes I do!â His tone gets serious, and it just makes you more desperate to make him understand. He needs to know heâs wrong.Â
âNo, you donât! You would know if you had asked!âÂ
âI wanted to!Â
You stop in your tracks, looking straight into his eyes, seeing little hints of shock on his face as he realizes what he said. If your bodies were closer, youâre afraid he could feel that you stopped breathing for a second.Â
âWhy didnât you?âÂ
âBecause I knew at least ten guys who had crushes on you back then,â youâre about to shut him off, but he continues, âand you did end up going with one of them.âÂ
âSo, you did see me.âÂ
âYeah, didnât stay much after that."
None of you know what to say, as your minds work tirelessly to understand what this conversation means.Â
âYou really shouldâve asked me.â Thereâs so much more you want to say, but you simply canât.Â
âYou were kind of popular and, I donât know⌠It messed with my head.âÂ
âI didnât care about those stupid labels, and I thought you didnât either.âÂ
âI know you didnât, but I wasnât a confident kid back then, I couldnât just go up to the girl I liked and ask her out.âÂ
Your jaw reaches the floor after hearing those words. The girl he liked?Â
Speechless for a few seconds, you can only look at him, trying to figure out if he meant to say those words specifically. He seems to be proud of what he said, showing no sign of regret.Â
âSo, now that youâre all grown upâŚâ you dare to let your fingers caress the skin at the base of his neck, and his hands tighten around you at the touch.Â
âOne would think that, after so many years, things wouldâve changed but-âÂ
���I donât believe youâre not confident by now.âÂ
âThat did change, but apparently, other things didnât, even after growing up.âÂ
He tilts his head to the side cockily, his piercing gaze making you feel hot all over.Â
âMaybe some things arenât meant to change.â Like an adrenaline rush, itâs your turn to feel confident as one of your hands starts playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. âI'm starting to discover some things are not that different for me either.âÂ
âCould it be, perhaps, the same thing Iâm talking about?â His arms wrap around your waist, bringing you closer to him little by little.Â
âHmm, I donât know, youâre being very vague, I could be talking about still enjoying country music.â You joke so he doesnât notice your heart beating twice as hard as normal.Â
âI think you know what I mean.â His smirk is one new thing about him, not that youâve never seen it before, but the reason behind it makes it way more thrilling to see now.Â
âI want to hear you say it.âÂ
âYou really didnât know? I mean, back then, I always thought I made it obvious.â His chuckle sends shivers down your spine.Â
âI wish I did.â You canât help but think about how your life would be if you made a move on him all those years ago. âBut I never said anything either, I was shy too.âÂ
âGood thing we can make up for the time we lost.â
His droopy eyes send you down a spiral you have a hard time coming back from, all your insides becoming putty, feeling his want through his embrace, but thereâs still one more thing to get to.Â
âYou know⌠you say youâre so confident now and whatnot, but I still havenât heard you say it.â The look you give him is all he needsÂ
âFine, you win, I used to like you, and seeing you again made me realize I still kinda really do, Iâm always eager to get your attention and to spend time with you.â He pauses to take the quickest breath ever, all while youâre losing yours. âI know weâre not the same people as back then, but if you want to, we can get to know each other, again, more mature and less stupid. I have my regrets about how I handled my feelings in the past, but I wonât make the same mistakes again. And I will ask you on a date after the wedding, just a heads up.âÂ
âWow, I was fine with just an âI like youâ, but itâs nice to see youâre just as down bad for me as I am for you.â You confess with a joke because, how can you possibly answer that? Your brain is barely receiving enough oxygen as it is.Â
âAnd one last thing, I really, really, really, want to kiss you right now.âÂ
âThen why are you not doing it?âÂ
It takes a second for the words to register in his head. A second where you only look at each other, almost not believing whatâs happening. The air around you gets so thick, so hot, almost unbearably heavy. And just when your hands begin to push his head your way, his lips attack yours. Â
All the resurfacing feelings come to life, colliding like a thousand stars that have been running to meet for millions of years. His arms around you bring your body closer to his, forcing you on your tiptoes to follow his lead while his hair tangles between your fingers.Â
It's surprisingly slow, yet hungry and desperate, making the other feel everything through the connection of your lips. You move along with him naturally, and when he bites your lower lip as a request for access, you donât hesitate. His hands creep under your shirt just as his tongue dares to move past your lips, exploring your whole body to his liking.Â
Your chests flush together, leaving little to no space between your bodies, and you can do nothing but melt in his embrace. Your hands wander around his arms and back, touching and feeling every muscle they encounter on their way. When his hands travel down your lower back and reach your ass, you sigh on his lips and immediately feel his smirk against you.Â
A furious knock on the door makes you both jump and separate, leaving you looking at each other, breathless and with confused faces, until you hear a knock again, as strong as the first one. Thatâs when Mingyu decides to check his phone and sees it's his roommate, who had apparently forgotten his keys. Both a blessing and a curse.Â
âBro, what the hell? Iâve been calling you for about 15 minutes.â You hear the door opening, followed by a new, deep voice.Â
âI told you I had company.â Their voices echo through the hallway.Â
When they finally reach the living room where youâve been awkwardly trying to make yourself look presentable, the roommate's face morphs into something, a mix of surprise and realization. You rush to gather your stuff after muttering some variation of âhelloâ and 'goodbye' to him. Your heart still pumps twice as fast as normal, and you donât trust youâll be able to handle yourself if you stay for longer.Â
âIâll see you on the weekend?â Mingyu asks when youâve both reached the entry, his hand on the handle, hesitant to unlock the door.Â
You want to kiss him again so badly. His lips are parted, still swollen, calling to you to connect them with yours again.Â
âFind me when you crash the bachelorette party.â You make your best effort to sound confident and not at all dizzy because of him. Â
âYou know about that?âÂ
âThe bridesmaids know everything... Itâs only a surprise for Olivia.â You peck him goodbye, like a promise for more. And the feeling of his lips on yours lasts all night.
Itâs roughly around 1 am. when a high-pitched scream from Olivia announces to everyone at the bar that the bachelor party has officially arrived.Â
The effects from all the alcohol you consumed in the last 4 hours are just starting to fade, only a little buzz left. But that doesnât prevent you from seeing whatâs happening all the way across the room.Â
Mingyu standing with his hip resting on the barstool, listening to Cassie as she drunkenly asks him something. You want to stop looking, not wanting to let all your previous feelings resurface again, not after the recent development in your relationship with him. But just as soon as youâre about to turn your head the other way, Mingyu interrupts Cassieâs rumbling and tells her something, to which she doesnât respond, nods awkwardly, and just walks away, leaving him standing there.Â
Thatâs your signal to walk over to him.Â
âLooks like I found you first.âÂ
âDamn, I wanted to get you a drink first.âÂ
The music and the people drunkenly signing and shouting makes it hard for your voices to reach the other, and Mingyu takes the opportunity to take a step closer to you.Â
You stand against the bar as the room grows warmer and warmer the closer his body gets to yours. His height taunts you as he stands against the bar as well, forcing you to look up so you can see the smirk on his face. His fingers play with yours as the intensity of his stare increases. You donât care that youâre in public, that anyone from the wedding can see you two. Maybe you want them to.Â
âHowâs your night going?â His hair tickles the side of your face.Â
âIt was really fun, I might be growing fond of the girls." You donât remember much, just a vague memory of many different games you played to get drunk, and the feeling of being happy. âHow about yours? Donât tell me you went to a strip club or something like that.âÂ
âActually, we did a drunk escape room, didnât even know those existed until today.â
The closeness between you is getting more worrying by the second, mainly because if you hear his low chuckle next to your ear one more time, you might pass out.Â
âThat sounds horrible!â You chuckle away from his personal space, only to encounter his hungry eyes already looking at you.Â
âIt was fun, I wish you couldâve been there.â His honesty has a sultry tone to it that makes your lungs completely empty of air.Â
âIâm not sure we wouldâve made a good team.âÂ
âWhy? Youâre smart! Or at least you were back then.âÂ
âHey! I still am!âÂ
âI really have to get to know this new you.â
The pink and blue lights reflect on his face, giving him the most beautiful sparkles on his eyes, directed at you.Â
âItâs not that new, Iâm still very introverted, donât talk much when thereâs a lot of people around.âÂ
âI like that, youâre observant, good thing to be while in a escape room.âÂ
âWeâre still talking about that?âÂ
âMaybe, maybe not, I donât really care, I just wanted to spend time with you.âÂ
âAre you drunk?â You can only ask with a smile plastered on your face, but he shakes his head.Â
âYou kinda make me feel like Iâm a teenage boy again, I donât know how to explain it.âÂ
âI think I get it.â You place your hand on his chest, feeling the beating of his heart under it, even harder than the music blasting out of the speakers.Â
âYou know, back then, every time I had a free period, I would make my friends walk past whatever class you had, just to get to see you, at least for a second.â Out of everything heâs drunkenly confessing, this may be the one that surprises you the most because you really never realized he felt the same. He notices you freezing in place. âOnce they found out, I was relentlessly bullied by them.âÂ
âI sure hope it was worth it.â If the lighting was any better, he'd be able to see the cherry red covering your cheeks and ears.Â
âEvery second of it.â Everything around the two of you moves slower, like timeâs stopping only for the outside world, and the muffled background noises do nothing to pierce the bubble around you. âI really want to take you on a date, a real one.âÂ
âI would very much like that.âÂ
You can see the gears turning through Mingyuâs eyes, and you move your eyes down to his lips so he can take the hint. But nothing happens as someone else enters your little world.Â
Oliviaâs aware that somethingâs going on, her eyes switching back and forth between the two of you before she speaks.Â
âI need your help, Iâm sorry to interrupt, but Iâm getting worried about her.âÂ
âAbout who? What happened?â Mingyu stays behind you as you turn to Olivia, grabbing one of your hands, and his warmth gives you goosebumps.Â
âItâs Cassie, sheâs been sitting alone in the restroom for I donât know how long, she's way too drunk and I canât take care of her.â
You now realize sheâs slurring her words, meaning sheâs also too drunk and therefore canât take care of another drunk person, leaving you no choice but to go help Cassie. You look back at Mingyu, who encourages you to go, even if it takes a little too long for his hand to let go of yours.Â
The graffitied restroom provides you with a little more light than the rest of the place, and when you enter, you recognize Cassie sitting on the floor inside one of the stalls. Luckily thereâs no one guarding the bathrooms because if sheâs seen throwing up, it could potentially get you both kicked out.Â
You sit on the dirty floor beside her without saying a word, letting her know youâre here to help without giving her a headache. Her foreheadâs resting on top of her knees as she hugs her legs tightly. But after a minute or two of silence, you decide itâs best to check if sheâs at least awake.Â
âCassie? Are you okay?â Your hand on her shoulder makes her look up at you.Â
âI donât feel so good, I just want to sit down for a while.â She sounds tired, her husky voice giving away all the talking and singing sheâs been doing all night.Â
âDo you need anything? I can get you a cup of water.âÂ
âNo, please, just stay here a bit, I didnât want anyone to see me but I donât want to be alone.âÂ
âOk, Iâll stay, let me know if you need something, anything.âÂ
Time passes by, the music making it easier for you to not get bored. A few people enter the restroom from time to time, too drunk or too in a hurry to notice you both sitting down. Olivia passes by the door a few times, hovering, checking if everythingâs okay (and if youâre still in the same position as the previous time). You just smile and nod, letting her go back to her party time and time again. But at last, in one of her check-ins, she finally walks inside.Â
âHey, Mingyuâs looking for you!â Both you and Cassie look up at Olivia, but her eyes point at you. âWhat do I tell him?âÂ
You instinctively look to Cassie by your side, and her expression falls.Â
âDonât, donât go with him.â She finds the strength to plead to you, but she seems more worried than anything.Â
âWhy? Did he do something? Is that why youâre hiding here?â Olivia asks, and you realize she didnât leave after you didnât answer her.Â
âNo, no, I mean, yes Iâm hiding from him, but he didn't do anything, it was me, I embarrassed myself.âÂ
âWhy are you telling me not to go with him then?âÂ
âDo you like him?âÂ
âI-â Wow, blunt question out of the blue.Â
âYou can be honest, itâs fine.âÂ
âYeah, I do, I like him.â
Telling them, her, the truth feels kind of freeing. Finally admitting in front of them that you like someone, after not being able to for so many years, itâs like you can finally breathe.Â
âThen, for your own good, donât go with him, heâs seeing someone.âÂ
âWhat? How do you know?â That freedom lasts barely seconds before a new weight falls right on top of your lungs.Â
âHe told me, when the guys got here, he said that heâs been after a girl for years and they recently started going out.âÂ
âAre you sure? Did he use those words?âÂ
âIâm not saying it verbatim, I donât remember it exactly word for word, but thatâs what he meant.âÂ
Could he possibly be talking about you? How recent is ârecentlyâ supposed to mean? You havenât even started officially dating. Is confessing your feelings considered the start of dating? Is it supposed to be this confusing? Are you going to believe her? Not that Cassieâs a liar, but you donât know the context nor the exact words he used, and she doesnât know what happened between you and him either.Â
âShould I go tell him something?â Olivia's already standing up, your silence not helping the situation.Â
âJust-" You donât want to push him away, but itâs not the time to resolve this. The whole thing is too confusing to be making desperate decisions at this hour of the night, âTell him to go have fun with the guys, Iâm getting Cassie home.âÂ
The loudest alarm you couldâve ever set up wakes you up with a jump. Your head hurts like your inside out emotions are building houses inside your skull. But the memories still hit you as soon as your eyelids burst open. Some decisions were definitely made the night before. Wrong ones? Thatâs to be seen today.
And thanks to the gods and Oliviaâs always late waking family, youâre not supposed to be at the venue until 11 am. Only bad news, Itâs on a luxury complex outside the city. You have time for a real breakfast and a shower, but all the thinking and feeling will have to wait.
You unlock your phone to find the last text conversation open and the messages you barely remember sending stare at you through the dim screen.
Mingyu: you left so suddenly
Mingyu: everything ok?
You: yeah
You: had to take Cass to her place, she wasnât feeling well
Mingyu: thatâs too bad, hope she feels better
Mingyu: you just got home?
You: yep, about to go to bed
Mingyu: great, just checking before i head to sleep
Mingyu: sleep well, big day tomorrow
Admittedly, you were a little dry. Cassieâs words were still lingering on your mind, making you doubt everything. One side of your brain telling you that he was probably talking about you, he explained what he felt and what he wanted and sounded sure and truthful. But, the other part of your brain, the still self-conscious and self-doubting side, also makes valid points. The void years in between your relationship werenât mentioned in his confession, and you technically arenât dating. He hasnât even asked you out yet! Itâs too conflicting. But you know you have to face both of them today. After the ceremony.
The taxi ride to the venue is not only long but full of traffic. The sun shining bright directly to your face, the light humming of the driver to the songs of the radio and the occasional car horn on the distance, somehow make it bearable, with all the thoughts about the previous night, switching sides between the he said she said, itâs nice to have something constant while your minds goes on a rollercoaster.
A rollercoaster that doesnât stop even when you arrive. As soon as you step foot outside the car, Oliviaâs mom rushes you upstairs to where the make-up artists set up. Thereâs no time to admire the beautiful countryside venue. You walk past the door to where the ceremonyâs going to be held later, but rush up the stairs without even looking. The green dress already waiting for you at the door, an infinite echo of voices and even more people running around make the atmosphere feel dizzying.
Nothing slows down for even a second. Even when youâre sitting down having your make-up done, around you thereâs only people rushing to do everything, stressing about the little details, people running into the room to tell Olivia or her mom about decorations, the wedding planner coming in and out constantly, checking everythingâs in order. Itâs kind of beautiful how all this mess has the sole purpose of making today the best day for the couple. Even if it doesnât look like it, no one will remember the dress that wasnât properly ironed, or the string of hair that had too much hairspray on it, or the too slippery shoes that made it a chore to walk on the tiled floor.
So much chaos happens between the hair and make-up, and then with the photoshoots, you donât have time to talk to Mingyu. Your eyes would cross from time to time, but those milliseconds of him in a suit glaring at you from across the room are enough, and thereâs so much of that you can take before an internal chain reaction begins.
The walk downstairs, after all the make-up retouches and fixes to any rebellious stray hair that didnât want to stay in place, feels like the first calm and slow moment of the day. As the steps get closer and closer to the bottom floor, the red carpet muffling the clicking of your shoes, your insides feel fire-like when you see Mingyu waiting for you by the final step, an unknowing smile on his face. His eyes drill holes on your figure, scanning you up and down shamelessly.
âYou chose this one, I like it.â He whispers by your ear as you walk to the door, where every pair is already waiting. A little smile shows on your face, but it fades when your eyes encounter Cassieâs, watching the two of you with a frown so little you only notice because she immediately relaxes her face.
The music starts before you can say anything to Mingyu, and one by one, each of the bridesmaids start walking down the aisle, arms linked with the groomsmen, gracefully walking forward as the eyes of every guest fall on them. Your arm tangled with his is the first touch you share since many days ago, and even with all the conflict making your mind a blur, your heart speeds up at the feeling of his muscles.
Nothing seems slow anymore, and the ceremony almost goes by without noticing. There isnât one second where you donât feel Mingyuâs eyes on you, making it impossible to focus â or pretend to focus â on what the priest is saying.
The moment your brain reconnects with your ears, Thomas delivers the most beautiful vows youâve ever heard. You met the guy only once, never even spoken to him, but the way he speaks so fondly about Olivia makes your heart clutch in your chest, and your throat tries to fight it, but you end up bursting with tears. But youâre not the only one with a cascade of dramatic tears falling with seemingly no end. As the room fills with applause and even some whistles at the first kiss between the officially married couple, you see some people with tissues, quietly blowing their nose.
But the never-ending rush in time continues, everyone sprinting to sit at their tables for the reception. The last retouches of make-up get done quickly. The girls gossip to kill the time before the dance, because for them itâs moving so slowly, but in the blink of an eye, youâre going out the door once again, just as Cassie taps on your shoulder. You turn to her, expecting her to be angry, or at least to start speaking, but it looks like sheâs still figuring out what to say.
âThank you, for taking care of me last night, Iâm sure you wouldâve preferred to enjoy the party.â
âI wasnât going to leave you alone, itâs fine, you donât have to thank me. Are you feeling better?â
âYeah, I am! But actually, I wanted to apologize.â Your head spins, dizzy from the world suddenly stopping hearing her words. âI didnât know there was something going on between you two.â
âThereâs not- I mean, not much happened, I didnât want to cause a fuzz over it.â
âBut you shouldâve told me you liked him, at least! If I knew about it, I wouldnât have gone after him.â You see in her eyes nothing but honesty. âI know weâre not as close as before, but these are the things we need to tell each other. Itâs the girl code.â
âI donât really know why I didnât, I know I shouldâve, I didnât know how.â Youâve now started to go downstairs to the reception, already the time to dance in pairs.
âLook, itâs okay if youâre not comfortable telling me this, but did something happen? Was he talking about you last night?â
Youâve reached where everyone is waiting, and youâre too embarrassed to look up and possibly find Mingyu standing there, leg-melting and breathtaking.
âI thought about it but I donât know, maybe?â
Back at the reception, the music starts, signaling the newlyweds are about to begin their first dance, meaning in no time youâll have to step in and dance around them.
âIâm going to ask you three questions and you just have to answer yes or no. There's no need for explanation, okay?â
âOâŚKay?â
âSo, you two knew each other in school, did you like him?â You nod shyly, not looking in her eyes, embarrassed to be talking about this so openly, âDid he like you?â You nod again, âAnd did something happen recently that would indicate that he would like to date you in the near future?â
You give her a final nod and finally look up at her. She sighs, taking your hand and squeezing it to make you pay attention.
âThen he meant you dummy! Go, talk to him. Heâs been staring at you all day like a lost puppy.â
When you dare to look his way, where you just knew he was standing, heâs looking at you, a little smirk on his lips and subtly motioning he's ready to take your hand. You didnât notice it was already time, and everyone around you stands in their position.
The pairs start entering one by one, and your smile trembles, feeling the eyes of every guest on you. Your fingers barely graze his, but they feel raw, like you can feel every particle of his hand below yours. The electric fire emerging from where your skin connects with his runs through your veins in record time.
But as soon as the music starts and Mingyu turns you so youâre looking at him, everything is forgotten. The steps come easily, his eyes calm but observing, his hand on your waist guiding you as he did every time you practiced.
âYouâve been avoiding me.â He whispers, not wanting to disrupt the moment, but knowing itâs the only time youâll get alone.
âI swear I didnât mean to.â
You panic. There was so much to do and so few words you could come up with to say to him that maybe you unconsciously avoided him by locking yourself up in the make-up room.
âDid I do something wrong?â He doesnât sound hurt, but rather just plain curious, eager to work this out between you two.
âNo! it was just a misunderstanding,â he waits for you to continue, but the part of your brain that makes sense starts crumbling, making it impossible to form a coherent argument, âI- can I ask you something? It might sound stupid, Iâm warning you.â
âGo ahead.â He chuckles, his feet continuing to dance while you've already forgotten about it. One of your hands stays on his shoulder, while the other is being held by him, still in the air by your sides, reaching the height of your shoulders.
âYouâre not dating anyone, are you?â
He doesnât let the silence even come close to the two of you, chuckling quietly so youâre the only one who can hear it.
âIâm not, hard to believe I know, but Iâm painfully single.â
âGreat, I just wanted to make sure.â
âI remember telling you I want to take you on a date.â
âY-yeah, of course I remember that too."
The pit of your stomach lights up at the remainder of that afternoon in his home, your bodies as close as they are at this moment.
âThen what made you think that?â
âYou just, you said to Cassie last night that you started seeing someone recently and, I donât know, we didnât technically start dating, so I panicked.â Saying it out loud to him, it sounds ridiculous, but if he thinks that, he doesnât show it.
âOh that, yeah, I mightâve gotten ahead of myself, but hey, think of it as manifesting.â Heâs so charming that you donât care that heâs making no sense.
âNext time, donât tell a drunk girl whoâs flirting with you the wrong information. She might spread it around.â
The synchronized chuckle you let out makes you pay attention to the forgotten situation. Youâre dancing and havenât tripped once, like your muscles got a life of their own and remembered every single step. And you suddenly realize how close your body is to Mingyuâs. One hand down the small of your back, pressing just enough to hold you in his personal space, his face close enough that you could concentrate on his breathing and feel the light exhales on your face.
When the music ends, the applause makes you look around, and your cheeks feel warm immediately, noticing all the eyes on every one of you. But the attention is short-lived, as you and Mingyu walk quickly to your table so the couple can do the welcome toasts. You don't miss how he slides your chair closer to his before you sit down.
Sitting by your side, Mingyuâs body and yours are connected by an electric current, drawing you closer. His knee stays glued to yours, and the cut on the side of your dress allows your bare skin to brush against the fabric of his pants. A conversation takes place between everyone at the table, one of the guys telling a story about something funny that happened with Tom back in high-school, but itâs hard to pay any real attention when Mingyuâs fingers start tracing circles on your knee. Heâs not even doing to be a tease. It seems like itâs a habit of his, one that youâre just discovering. You donât stop your fingers from playing with his, and a subtle smirk forms on his lips at your action.
Itâs not like youâre doing anything too flashy or indecent, but you do your best to mask your reactions to his touches, to try and keep the people of the table unaware of the not so innocent things going on under the fancy tablecloth. He only notices your changes because heâs paying attention to you. The way your chest rises just a tad bit more when his hand goes a little over your knee, or how you drink from your cold glass of water when he presses on the skin of your inner thigh, but when heâs about to move his hand off of you, you put yours on his to keep it in place. You also notice things throughout the night, for example, that Mingyu isnât drinking a lot, restricting to one glass of champagne per serving. You do the same, wanting to remember this night in the future.
Mingyu stands up when the dancefloor opens again, turning down an offer to go to the bar for something stronger than sparkling wine. Instead, he reaches for your hand, silently inviting you to dance with him, to which you agree, with a smile and avoiding his eyes. Following behind him, he doesnât let go of your hand, even when youâve reached the spot he wanted. People join you on the dancefloor, drunkenly vibing to the dj set, surrounding you, and blocking you from anyone you know. Itâs feels almost private. Whatever song is playing on the speakers, it doesnât prevent you from following your own rhythm in your own world. Your arms wrap around Mingyuâs neck, and both of his hands hold your waist, mirroring the evening at his place.
âSo, tell me, what other embarrassing things did you do when you liked me?â
He throws his head back in embarrassment, sighing with a smile before daring to look at you again. His ears turn a light shade of pink, and you swear you can feel his heartbeat between your bodies.
âI really told you that, did I? I was hoping you wouldn't remember.â
âNope, I remember it very vividly actually.â
âLetâs leave the embarrassing stories for the future, I wasnât in my best condition last night.â
âYouâre making me too curious now, but how drunk did you get last night?â
âHonestly, I was just nervous about seeing you and about tonight.â He might be confessing another embarrassing thing, but behind his truthful tone, thereâs something you canât quite decipher.
âWhatâs there to be nervous about tonight?â
Your heels allow you to be in his line of sight, and your chests are too close. If you inhaled deeply, youâd be able to feel him on you. He takes advantage of your new height and forces your attention to go to his lips, smirking shamelessly as he thinks his next words.
âDid I tell you how pretty you look today?"
One hand comes close to your face, removes a strand of hair from blocking your view, and tucks it behind your ear.
âOh, shut up.â
You canât even think of a snarky response, your brain melting and showing just how much he affects you. Goosebumps spread all across your arms and back at the feel of his hand caressing your skin.
âI canât, itâs all Iâve thinking about all day, you, this dress, and you in this dress.â
You instinctively hide your face on the crook of his neck, his cologne invading your senses. Itâs hard to think of words when heâs looking at you like he wants to eat you whole.
âI got it because of you. Do you really like it?â
Not that you need any confirmation, since heâs told you twice already, but it wouldnât hurt to hear it from him one more time. Your reveal makes his smirking lips graze your ear, sending shivers down your spine, and his voice drops an octave to answer.
âI love the dress, but Iâll love it more once I get it off you.â
âI hate you.â
You barely manage to say, your chest rising but breathless at the same time. Your bodyâs automatic reaction is to push him away, and your hands go straight to his chest to try, but of course itâs pointless. His hands catch yours, not letting you leave his personal space. He taunts you by spinning you around, and once you do a full twirl, he grabs you by the waist again and brings your body to his.
âYou have no idea how hard it was for me that day when you stepped out, wearing this.â He gets closer to your ear with every word. You hate it and love it. For one, you can hide from his teasing eyes and blush in peace, but on the other hand, you are cheek to cheek with him, his breath fanning lightly on your side, and you can feel heâs still smirking. âYouâre lucky there were other people in the room.â
A breath catches in your throat, and you swallow hard. You thank all the gods there are out there for being surrounded by drunk people. Because to anyone on their senses, your reaction to Mingyu's words would be too obvious.
âI really hate you right now.â
Itâs getting harder and harder to ignore the heat growing at the pit of your stomach.
âYou donât.â
âI do.â
âI think itâs quite the opposite actually.â
How are you supposed to play hard to get when his hands hold you like he wants to keep you forever?
âYou think you know everything.â
You catch your voice about to tremble when his free hand starts going down the side of your arm, from your shoulder down until your hand, and interlocks his fingers with yours.
âIf you hate me then, I canât tell you the secret Iâve been keeping all night.â
âHave you been secretly writing an article about how to break someoneâs heart in 10 days?â
âI love that movie, but it has been well over 10 days, I couldnât make the deadline.â
âRom-com connoisseur, noted.â You jokingly nod, but not forgetting whatâs important. âNow tell me.â
âSo, you know how they told us there were rooms available for anyone that couldn't drive home?â You nod, too enthusiastically. âI may or may not have booked one for tonight, and if you want to, thereâs space for one more, we donât have to do anything if you donât want toâŚâ He keeps talking, something about you watching him do something, but you get lost in the way his lips move as he talks, so pink and fast and hypnotizing.
âIsnât it rude to just leave?â
The question leaves your mouth more to tease him than anything else. You want to be alone with him so badly, feel his body all over yours, his hands everywhere he can reach, ripping this godforsaken dress off you.
Before the last food serving rolls out and everyone scatters to go back to their seat, you sneak out of the reception, but the drunk bodies are not making it easy. Mingyu leads the way with you grabbing his hand and walking behind him. You donât know if you couldâve managed another teasing touching session under the table.
You take a left turn into the hallway just at the same time as one of Olivia's drunk uncles, a stranger to the both of you, whoâs half asleep using the wall to steady himself as he walks. The music echoes through the walls, and you can only look at each other, half about to burst out laughing and half needing to take the others clothes off, as you walk as nonchalantly as possible past the man trying his best to open his door.
Giggling like teenagers, you finally reach your room at the end of the hallway, but the second you enter, the atmosphere changes. Standing by the closed door, shoes off, panting, and frozen in place, you only look at each other. Your breaths regulate, and your smiles slowly fade off your expressions as the realization hits. Itâs real. Heâs here, and youâre here, in a room just for the two of you. His eyes are bound to your parted lips, but you wouldnât know, as yours are also unable to leave his.
Like magnets, brutally drawn to each other, your lips finally reconnect in a hungry, desperate kiss. After learning how sweet he tastes, how his lips glide over yours so easily, how he wraps his arms around you to keep you close to him, there was only so much time you could spend in abstinence.
No words needed, the want translating in the way your hands push him against you, his hands traveling across your back, touching and groping everywhere he can reach. After the long day testing your patience, neither of you can slow down.
His fang claws at your bottom lip, making you whimper against him. He drinks in any sound you make, his arms bringing your body impossibly closer to his, almost making you one. No one is in control, both of you just touching and grabbing anywhere you can, desperate for more.
Your mouths reluctantly separate as Mingyu starts leaving a trail of kisses down your neck and biting lightly on your sensitive skin, making you gasp. You can only thread your fingers on his hair, encouraging him to leave any marks he wishes to.
âIs this okay?â
His raspy voice travels to your ears, and you donât trust yourself to not make unholy noises if you open your mouth to answer. But just as youâre humming, he digs his teeth just above your clavicle, turning your hum into a moan.
He slowly slides the straps of your dress down your shoulders, his fingers teasing your skin on the way down. His hand travels across your chest, only the silky green fabric in between your fiery skin and his teasing fingers. They go over your pointy hard nipples, feeling everything on its way, but not letting it stay anywhere for more than a second.
âAre you going to take it off?â
Your breathlessness makes him chuckle, smug and cocky as ever.
âRushed?â
âVery. Youâre the one that put the thought in my head, now take care of it!â His hands sneak up your back, playing with the zipper of your dress.
âDonât act so innocent.â His tone goes straight to your core. The fabric around you loosens up as his hand runs down your spine, but he stops before it gets too loose to slip down. âYou think I didnât see the way you looked at me all day? Youâre not slick.â
He takes a step back to take off his suit jacket, absentmindedly throwing it to the side without breaking eye contact. But you don't let yourself get shy.
âWho said I was trying to hide it?â
Your hands run from his shoulders to his chest, unbuttoning his shirt one by one as his breathing speeds up. The warmth of his body envelops your hands, your fingers barely grazing the skin above his pants, and his muscles tense at your touch before you slip his shirt off.
âNow whoâs the one teasing?â
Pulling on the red tie around his neck, he swallows hard as you bring his head closer to yours, so close you unconsciously flutter your eyes closed. His bare chest rises against yours as you undo his tie slowly. You could tilt your chin up and break the tension once more, but something in you wants to keep teasing him.
A step back is all you need to have his lips chase you, and he opens his eyes, droopy and confused, to find you slipping your dress off. His stare turns surprised and hungry as you reveal yourself for him, but his body stays frozen in place.
âIâm supposed to do that.â
Itâs your time to chuckle now, taking a step forward again. His hands slot on your waist instinctively, traveling to your stomach, enjoying the feeling of your soft skin against his hands.
âYouâll get to do it next time.â The sentence is almost left unfinished, a breath getting caught in your throat when his hands dare go up your chest. But theyâre gone in a heartbeat, as they reach your face and tilt it so you can properly look at him.
âAre you sure you want to do this?â No teasing tone on his voice.
âIâm literally naked in front of you.â Your hands go back up to his neck, pushing his head slightly down, reaching a hypnotic closeness. âI want this, I want you Mingyu.â
Confirmation is all he needed to let loose, to let the want take over his body and soul. He connects your lips with force, and wastes no time. With his hands on your ass and his tongue working its way inside your mouth, he stumbles backwards until you both fall on the bed.
With you on top of Mingyu, your hands make their way across his chest, his golden skin glistening due to the sweat. You can feel his hard muscles tense under your touch, making him sigh on your mouth when you find his sensitive spots. His hands move to your hips and push you down on him, making you both moan un unison because of the first friction between your cores.
His growing hard grinds deliciously against you. Even with his pants still between you, you can feel how big he is, and the wet patch on your panties grows by the second. Your lips are still smashed together, a mess of saliva allowing your lips you glide faster and hungrier on his, your tongues becoming one, not wanting to separate ever again.
Your hands find their way down his abdomen, reaching where his pants hang on his hips. The absence of a belt makes it easier for you to unbutton them, and he takes the off expertly, all without ever taking his hands off you.
The second your hand sneaks under his underwear, he groans under you, disconnecting your mouths to take a look at you.
âIs it embarrassing to be already close?â His blood red lips are parted, breathing out his confession, and you almost moan, clenching around nothing because of the sight, or his confession, or maybe the whimper he fights when you wrap your hand around him.
âYouâre so big, fuck.â You sigh, and the side of his mouth quirks up, but slowly disappears as you start sliding your hand down, smearing the precum on his length.
âIâm not gonna hurt you.â
His eyes have a mix of concern and lust on them, and your body doesnât know how to react, your stomach flips, your hands tremble, and your underwear grows wetter.
âI know you wonât.â
You climb down on him, your eyesight reaching where his boxers begin to tent. His gaze follows you, like he canât believe the reality of whatâs happening. You take off the last piece of clothing left on his body, and his dick springs free, standing proud and angry red in front of your eyes. The throb on your throat makes you move forward, wrapping your lips around his leaking tip.
âWait. Donât.â You look up at him but heâs facing the ceiling, ears red and eyes closed. ���I canât.â
âI havenât done anything.â You play innocent, and a smirk appears on your face when he finally looks at you, resting on his elbows.
âExactly, thatâs why I canât, I need to have a little bit of pride left.â
âWhat do you suggest we do?â You slowly climb up on him again, his hands moving to your hips like they got a life of their own. One hand on his chest and one hand on his jaw, you kiss him softly, and he melts at your touch.
A soft moan is heard, could be from him, could be from you, but your mind is too clouded to care when he rolls his hips against yours, following the pace of your lazy kiss. A rush of arousal takes over your body when he presses you harder against him, his length sliding perfectly with your core, your wetness making it easier to reach every point that makes you gasp.
âI want,â his lips stop working on yours, but his arms keep you from separating. You feel his every breath, every gasp at the friction, and his lips graze yours when he speaks, âI want to taste you.â
âFuck.â He might just be able to feel the new rush of wetness dampening your panties further and smearing around his hard below you. His hands push your hips up his body. He told you what he wants, and heâs showing you exactly how he wants it. âAre you sure? I donât want to crush your skull.â
âI wouldnât mind that, at least Iâd die happy.â
âWell, I canât argue with that if you want it.â
The chuckle he lets out reverberates from his chest up through your whole body. Thereâs not much you can do besides complying with his wants, especially with the way your bodyâs reacting to the sole idea of it and the way heâs moving you to where he wants.
His hands sneak under the strings of your underwear, and as you climb higher and higher, he removes them easily, leaving you bare on top of him.
âYouâre so wet, shit.â Your pussy pulsates just above his face. You canât see his reaction, but you for sure can hear it, âI wouldâve done this sooner if I knew this was waiting for me.â
From your point of view, his whole face is covered, by you, on top of him, only his messy hair laying on the mattress can be seen. A view thatâs dizzying and hypnotic at the same time, and you canât think of any answer to give him. His breath on your wet core makes you shiver, but youâre afraid to sit down, afraid youâll hurt him.
Mingyu senses your hesitation and gives you no more time to doubt. His head rises until his tongue meets your folds, flattening on you, desperate to make you feel good. The sudden stimulation makes your legs tremble, and you would've fell on his face if it wasnât from his hands still holding your hips.
He starts making out with your cunt, moaning and groaning against it like this is also pleasurable for him. His tongue finds every place that makes you gasp, moan and whimper, and with every lap at your folds, a nasty wet sound accompanies it.
A shaky moan escapes out of you when he envelops your clit with his lips and sucks lightly, making you grab the headboard so you donât fall on him.
You mustâve fully sit on his mouth in your search for support, because he moans louder against your pussy, and you can feel everything. His lips and tongue working to drink every drop of arousal that leaves you, discovering every sensitive spot you didnât know about.
The tip of his nose bumps your clit just as his tongue finds its way inside your pulsing hole, and you instinctively move your hand down to pull at his hair. The action encourages him to go faster, harder, and when you grind on his face and he groans like heâs enjoying it, you let go.
Riding him, chasing your high, youâre using his tongue for your own pleasure. Your hand on his hair tightens, and you lose the little control you had of your throat. But the unfiltered sounds you make just push him harder. Every one of your senses is clouded. The wet sounds, the way he moans against you, his tongue already knowing where to go to make you squirm, everything culminates without warning.
You cum on his tongue faster than you have ever before. Your thighs tremble at either side of his head, and you realize youâre crushing him between them. But he doesn't let you get up. His tongue continues to work on you,
He cleans you up, drinking every last drop of arousal smeared on your skin. You spasm over him every time he ânot so accidentallyâ flicks your clit with the tip of his tongue, starting to get you overstimulated.
You use the strength you have left to push his head back, and take advantage of his surprise to plop down on his side, your back on the mattress and your pussy finally away of his eager mouth.
âAre you okay?â
From the corner of your eye, while you try to recover, you see Mingyu doing his best to clean the lower side of his face.
âYeah, fuck, that was a lot.â You manage to say in between breaths. âI need a second.â
âIf youâre too tired, we can st- fuck.â
You donât give time to overthink, quickly getting on top of him again, your swollen dripping cunt right on top of his still hard cock.
âSecond's over.â Only a little smirk is the warning he gets before youâre grinding on top of him again. All of your juices mix as you slowly ride back and forth, his length sliding between your wet folds deliciously. âIâm clean, and on the pill, are you?â
âOn the pill? Unfortunately not.â How he manages to make you laugh even on your horniest moments will forever remain a mystery. âBut Iâm clean, Iâve never had sex without a condom before.â
âMe neither. I guess this will be a new experience for the both of us.â The sole thought of it makes his dick twitch under you.
âAre you sure?â His hand cups the side of your face, and his eyes look at you with such care that you could melt in an instant.
âYes, I donât want to wait anymore. Weâve waited long enough.â That seems to relax him, his hands beginning to roam freely across your torso.
Sliding forward makes the veins of his cock drag along every sensitive spot and you both moan before his tip finally prods at your entrance. A loud hiss comes out of him as you align yourself with his length and push his tip in.
But before you can go any further, he wraps his arms around your waist and turns you around so your back is against the mattress. You gasp at the sudden change, and when he starts slowly sinking into you, filling every possible space inside you, you lose your breath.
His cock being covered by your fluids makes it easier, and when he finally bottoms out, so deep you feel him everywhere, you hear him trying to muffle a moan. Your gummy walls clamp around him, trying to get used to his size. The twitch of his length feels stronger while inside you, and you know heâs trying to resist the urge to pound into you.
âMove, please, I need you.â Your pathetic whimper triggers another smirk out of him, and as he moves down to give you a soft kiss, his eyes darken.
âWhatever my girl wants.â
The slow drag of his cock as he starts sliding it out almost make you delirious, but before his tip slips out, he snaps his full length right back in, making your body jolt upwards. You can't speak properly, a curse you canât even hear leaves your mouth before he repeats the action, again and again.
âSo deep, Mingyu, fuck.â The brutal pace he sets has him abusing every single sensitive spot inside you, even the ones you didnât know about, hitting relentlessly where it makes you scream, and youâre seeing stars.
âYou donât say my name often,â his voice is raspy and deep, almost mirroring the way his cock pistons inside of you, âI like how it sounds coming out of you."
Your palms are against the headboard and youâre sure the bed hitting against the wall can be heard from other rooms, but when one of his hands sneak between your bodies and starts circling your clit, you stop caring all along.
The grinding of your hips matches his rhythm, accentuating everything as he drives you closer and closer. With his face just above yours, you can only look him in the eyes and let him watch your face contort in pleasure feeling every vein of his cock dragging inside of you. With any other person, you would be self-conscious, but as he finds that spot inside you that makes you squirm, you forget the world around you and focus on grabbing his strong arms for support.
His teeth find your neck again, biting and kissing on your soft skin, pushing you closer and closer to the edge, and he doesnât stop drilling his hips into you. Somehow, you feel him deeper with every thrust, and the only thing you can do is claw your nails on his arms and back, encouraging him more and more.
âYouâre so tight, shit.â His hips stutter when you clench hearing his voice. âTell me youâre close, please, fuck, I donât now how long I got."
âYes! Yes, donât stop.â You tighten impossibly harder around him when you feel him pinch one of your nipples. Heâs literally everywhere, stimulating every spot to tip you over the edge.
Your arms and legs cage his body so close to yours that he has trouble keeping up with his pace, but that doesn't stop him from pounding hard. The sound of skin your skin hitting against his and his groans are like music to your ears.
It's when his thumb teases your clit again that you finally snap.
You tremble around him, moaning uncontrollably as he keeps pounding into you, prolonging your orgasm as he pleases and chasing his own. But heâs far gone too. Your sweet moans in his ear and your walls clenching around him so perfectly are enough to have him spilling inside you.
Sleepiness is about to get you when you feel him sliding out you and plopping by your side. Naturally, one of his arms slots under you as your head rests on the crook of his neck.
Thereâs silence while you both catch your breaths, his hand softly drawing circles on your back and yours on his chest. As reality sinks in, giddiness fills your entire body, and you canât contain the smile growing against his golden skin.
âDid you do any embarrassing things back then?â The sudden interrogation makes your cheeks turn red.
âIâm guessing thereâs no way out of this, right?â You avoid looking up at him to not make your shyness obvious, and you feel him shake his head as an answer. âFine⌠you know⌠your fangs?â
âMy fangs?!â Amusement and surprise mix on his voice.
âFuck this is so embarrassing.â Youâre caged between his arms but you manage to cover your face with your hands.
âYou liked my fangs?â
âI still do, but yeah, I would just draw little fangs everywhere, I guess no one ever noticed because they looked more like vampâ"
âWould you like to have dinner with me tomorrow?â He luckily interrupts your embarrassing rant with his pending question.
âAlready? You want to see me again that badly?â You feel the chuckle on his chest before you hear it, and at that moment, itâs the best sound youâve ever heard.
âI plan on taking you on dates at least three times a week. Youâre never getting rid of me now.â He embraces you in his arms, chests flushed together, and when you tilt your head up, heâs already looking at you, expectant for your answer. âSo, what do you say?â
âYes, I would love to have dinner with you tomorrow.â The smile he gives you might be the most blinding smile youâve ever seen. âBut just so you know, I do not have sex on first dates.â
thank you so much for readingâĽâĽ sorry this took so long to finish
#mingyu au#seventeen au#seventeen smut#mingyu smut#svt smut#kim mingyu au#svt au#kim mingyu smut#mingyu imagine#mingyu x reader
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hellooo!! im not sure if your requests are open so feel free to ignore this but i was wondering if you could write for tasm!peter where the reader just got her wisdom teeth removed and sheâs all loopy on anesthetics and forgets peter is her boyfriend? i saw this video where this girl got her wisdom teeth pulled and forgot she was dating her boyfriend and fell in love with him all over againđđ
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPR7sGQo5/
thank you for your request! ⥠fem, 1k
"Here she is," the nurse says gently, walking you out with his arm behind your back. "Alright, say hi to Peter."Â
"Hi, Peter," you mumble, eyes on the floor.Â
Peter grins at you, worry warm at the back of his throat. "Hey. Is that everything?" he asks, nodding at the nurses paper bag of aftercare.Â
"Everything you'll need." The nurse helps Peter take over, hoisting your arm over his shoulders before stepping away. "Alright, feel better, okay? And don't hesitate to call if something comes up. We're here to look after you."Â
You seem appreciative in your fog, but it's hard to tell. Peter curls his arm around your hip and gives it a soft rub as he leads you to the stairs. Whoever devised the floor plan here had murder on their mind âthe second floor is completely inaccessible. Luckily, Peter has a lot of strength at his disposal.Â
You can feel it. "Woh, you're strong," you murmur.Â
"You know that already." His grip on you tightens, pretty much carrying you down the tight staircase.Â
"Do I?" you ask. You make a sound like you're hurting, a squeak.Â
"I'd hope so." At the end of the staircase, he sits you down, worried you're not feeling well. "You okay? I can princess carry you if you need me to."Â
You look at him with wide eyes. He turns to check there's no one standing behind him, but you're really looking at him. "What?" he asks, touching your knee, imploring. "You look like you've seen a ghost."Â
"You're Peter?" you ask.Â
Ah, the amnesiac effect of anaesthetic. His touch turns comforting, stroking your thigh with as much care as he can drive into his palm alone. "That's me. Hey, if you're forgetting me, does that mean you're not mad at me for last Friday anymore? 'Cos I know you said you forgive me but I can tell it still pisses you offâ"Â
Your eyes fall to his hand. "Why would I be mad at you?" you ask.Â
"I finished the milk and put the carton back in the fridge, even though I promised I'd stop doing it. You see the jug and think there's milk left. We were gonna have macaroni and cheese..." He nudges your fingers with his. "Are you okay? You don't look like yourself."
"What do I usually look like?"Â
"Not so, you know. Daunted."Â
"You're really handsome," you whisper, refusing to meet his eye.Â
"Oh, you think so?"Â
You nod like your head is too heavy. You're embarrassed, you sweetheart, oh my god Peter could cry into your lap.Â
"Let's get you to the car, baby."Â
"Where are we going?" The gauze gives you the world's most adorable lisp, and it turns your gasp into a hum as Peter stands you up.Â
"Home."Â
"Together?"Â
"Yeah, we live together. It's a nice place, and you're a great decorator, you know? It's cozy."Â
"Thank you," you say shyly.Â
You're not not shy with him, but it's been a long time since you got so quiet over a practically innocuous comment. He wants to see how you'll react to real compliments, over the top stuff that he one hundred percent means. It's a little mean, but when will you ever be like this again?Â
He helps you out past the desk and onto the street to your car where it's parked a half a block down. "Don't worry about all this, okay? I'm gonna take such good care of you, sweetheart. There's an ice pack and a brand new comforter with your name on it waiting at home." Peter smiles at your starry eyes as they flash to his, amazed at his simple plans. "How does that sound, beautiful? Is there anything you want before we head home? Anything that would make you feel better?"Â
"You're gonna take care of me?" you ask breathlessly.Â
"That's my job. That's my number one boyfriend duty."Â
"You're my boyfriend?"Â
"I am!" he says happily, laughing as he speaks. "For a while. I've been trying to take things further but you're always really shy about getting marriedâ"Â
"You want to get married? To me?"Â
Peter presses a soft kiss to your cheek. "You're the only person I'd ever want to get married to. We already picked the flowersâ"Â
"We did?"Â
He laughs again, all your questions. He loves regular you but loopy you is especially endearing. "Last time I got super drunk, yeah. You never let me forget it."Â
"So you love me?" you ask, stopping short.
"I love you so much," he says immediately, hugging you into his side. He dots another kiss against the top of your head. "You should remember that even if you don't remember me."Â
"I love you," you say quietly.Â
Peter doesn't know if that's your memory returning, or if you've fallen in love with him in the last fifteen minutes. He could easily fall in love with you that quickly, and yet he's still amazed at your confession.Â
"That's good. That's great. Thank you, sweetheart," he says, desperate to hold your face in his hands but weary of causing you future pain. "There's your car," âhe points, lowering his head to yours to make sure you can see it, hand now protectively held between your shoulder bladesâ "let's go home now. Yeah?"Â
You start walking again at his requests. He can pretty much see the steam rising off of your face, giddy with happiness at these revelations. You're together, you're in love, and you think he's handsome. He wonders what you'll have to say about his biceps in this state of delirium; you go crazy for his arms sober.Â
Which reminds him.Â
"I totally have another secret to tell you," he says, unlocking the car as you approach and helping you into the passenger seat.Â
"What is it?" you ask.Â
Peter closes you in and skirts around the door, climbing into the driver's seat. He's glad that New York is as ridiculously loud as ever, because not even the closed doors or your sodden gauze can smother the way you shriek.
"My boyfriend is Spider-Man?!"Â
#tasm peter parker#tasm peter x reader#tasm peter parker imagine#tasm peter parker x you#tasm peter parker x reader#tasm x reader#peter parker x reader#tasm!spiderman x reader#tasm!peter x reader#tasm!peter imagine#tasm!peter parker#tasm!peter parker x reader#tasm! peter parker x reader#spiderman x reader#peter parker oneshot#peter parker blurb#peter parker imagine#peter parker x you#peter parker x y/n#spiderman x you#spiderman fanfiction
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i found a good boy, and he's on my side | lando norris smau
lando norris x reader | a little bit of best friend!oscar
summary: when y/n's ex writes a messy song about her, fans push for lando to break up with her (he doesn't even consider it)
fc: sabrina carpenter
kind of a part 2 to what a coincidence, but you don't have to read part 1 for this to make sense
warnings: non-existent angst, lando very much in love with y/n, very brief mention of cheating (not lando), maybe some typos
note: y/e = your ex
yourex
liked by user1 and 593,827 others
yourex Biting My Tongue out tonight
Finally sharing my truth
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user1 WE LOVE YOU Y/E
user2 ready for the tea đż
ynfan2 PLEASE LEAVE Y/N ALONE I BEG WE'RE OVER YOU
ynfan1 "sharing my truth" OHHHH BROTHER
user3 the y/n fans getting nervous
ynfan2 not nervous, sick of his lies
user2 perhaps y/n isn't as perfect as you think
user4 anyone else just here for the music
user5 @ yourusername YOU ARE SO OVER
âĄ
âĄ
yourusername
liked by landonorris, yourbff, and 1,138,827 others
yourusername leng
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ynfan2 UNBOTHERED QUEEN
user2 is she just pretending her ex didn't drop a shady song about her
user6 lando still in the likes ... this is so sad
yourbff your reminder to not wear the red top this weekend
yourusername you've seen my outfits already TRUST there's no red in sight
landonorris that's my girl
ynfan1 MOTHER IS GOING TO SILVERSTONE
user4 how has lando not dumped you yet
user5 you really don't deserve lando
user3 HAS LANDO HEARD THE SONG YET? DUMP HER!!!
ynfan3 what's with all the loser hate comments
landonorris my girlfriend is sooooo leng now come give me a kiss
yourusername calm down
yourusername on my way tho
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âĄ
landonorris
liked by oscarpiastri, yourusername, and 983,492
landonorris a little summer fun
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user1 JEALOUS
yourusername who's the baddie
landonorris that's my girlfriend mate back off
ynfan2 WHY ARE THEY LIKE THIS
user3 waiting for the dumping...
user4 crazy that they're still together
user8 i think some of y'all are a bit dramatic, the song wasn't even that bad and it's just his perspective
ynfan3 A LANDO FAN WITH A BRAIN
yourbff last pic i want her baddddd
landonorris so you don't want [redacted]'s number anymore?
yourbff WAIT I TAKE IT BACK
ynfan2 QUEEN Y/BFF FINALLY APPROVING OF ONE OF Y/N'S MEN
oscarpiastri you stole my best friend
yourusername we literally have plans next week
âĄ
yourusername
liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, and 1,293,283 others
yourusername is this thing on? đ¤
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ynfan1 MOTHER IN THE STUDIO!!!!!
ynfan2 the last pic has me crying đđ i just know she's about to be a menace
user2 if she's actually making a response song that's kinda pathetic
user3 right? her fans all say y/e is using her for fame but she's also doing it
yourbff let me hear it first
oscarpiastri i better get the link first
landonorris ignore both of them, i get first dibs
user1 THE DRAMA if she's making a response song lando better get out of there quick before he's her next victim
user4 WE DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE
ynfan3 all these haters camping on y/n's post omg she's so famous
ynfan4 WE LOVE YOU Y/N IGNORE THE LOSERS
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yourusername
liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, and 1,428,372 others
yourusername my turnđŠˇ
surprise! planned to keep these in the vault, but i guess things change. 'vicious' and 'eternal sunshine' live performances out now on youtube! studio version out friday đ
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landonorris proud of you love đ¤
yourusername đ§Ąđ§Ąđ§Ą
ynfan2 OH MY GOD NO WAYYYYYYY
ynfan3 "my turnđŠˇ" THAT'S MOTHERRRRRRRRR
ynfan1 love lando supporting her through it all that's a good man
ynfan4 SHE SPILLED Y/E IS SO DONE
yourbff i love you so much!!!
yourusername love you!!
user3 these songs are really good ... sorry for hating before
user1 some of y'all switching up in the comments, she could be lying!!
ynfan5 perhaps i misinterpreted the lyrics, but did y/e CHEAT ON HER???
ynfan3 pretty sure đ
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yourusername
liked by yourbff, landonorris, and 1,391,283 others
yourusername it doesn't get, doesn't get better than this đ§Ą
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yourbff LOVE Y'ALL SO MUCH
ynfan4 THESE HAVE TO BE LYRICS
ynfan3 more lover girl music coming soon LET'S GOOOOOOO
ynfan2 y/n writing her two shady songs about y/e then going back to writing cheesy love songs for lando we love to see it
landonorris how i obsessively adore you đ¤
ynfan2 y'all they're quoting future lyrics right in front of our faces i just know it
user3 it's not looking like a break up any time soon
oscarpiastri answer my texts
yourusername sorry been busy đ¤
oscarpiastri disgusting
yourusername NOT LIKE THAT.
ynfan5 Y/NLANDO WILL ALWAYS PROSPER
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landonorris
liked by yourusername, yourbff, and 1,028,832 others
landonorris we are never breaking up btw
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ynfan2 LMAOOOOOO
yourbff i'll have to break all of your bones if you ever hurt her
landonorris the scary thing is that i actually believe that you would
oscarpiastri hurt her and your life is over
landonorris DAMN DID Y'ALL READ THE CAPTION OR NO
user3 they're kinda growing on me y'all ...
ynfan4 everyone say we love you mom and dad
user4 worst news of my life
user2 i'm gonna be forced to like her this is terrible
yourusername thank god
landonorris if you leave me i think that i just might lose it completely
yourusername don't ever quote my songs at me again
#lando norris#f1#f1 x reader#f1 smau#f1 fanfic#f1 fic#formula 1#lando norris x reader#lando norris au#lando x reader#lando norris smau#lando norris fluff#lando norris x you#lando norris x y/n#lando norris imagine#lando x you#lando x y/n#lando norris insta au
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heyyyy ryyyyy <333
since ur requests are open i thought id go ahead and ask if you're mayhaps open to anything for batmom? i don't have a completely solid idea but maybe smn like batmom has been getting threats or maybe hate or smn from somebody and everyone's reactions and how they get hella protective?
obv no pressure and you definitely do not have to write this
hope you have a great day bb
Heyyyyy, so this grew hands and wrote itself, I hope you enjoy it. It did end up with a lot of backstory.
Earned Position
5.3k words
You knew this would happen. Once your relationship with Bruce got out there would be an influx of love and hate. You also knew that everyone else knew that as well. It was common knowledge than anyone around a celebrity of sorts would experience that.Â
Of course you did the normal things, turned off most notifications and only looked through areas online you knew would mostly be safe. You blocked tags and and only followed people you knew or ones who didnât post about drama.Â
When you did stumble onto hate, you moved on. If someone kept sending you nasty messages you blocked them, when they made other accounts to keep sending the same things, you changed your settings so only those you followed could message you.Â
It wasnât something you wanted to deal with but it was something you could handle. Something you started mentally preparing yourself for when Bruceâs attention on you lasted more than 4 dates, even more so when you caught yourself daydreaming about him.
You were not going to let random bitter people on the internet destroy your happiness like they did their own. Your family however, wanted to destroy what was left of your haters' happiness. Something you were trying to curb, but trying to tell a family of vigilantes who considered you the best mom in existence not to destroy your haters was like talking to a brick wall. Over the years, you had gotten used to it. It barely even registered anymore. But there had been a recent influx of the hate and while it didnât bother you, it bothered the rest of your family. None of them could stand people talking bad about their mom.
While you hadnât been there while the older ones were young, the second you had introduced yourself to them, you had taken a very important role in their lives. None of them realizing it at first. All of them had gotten used to the random women Bruce brought home that it took a little while for them to realize how important you were.Â
Dick wasnât sure at first. Thinking you were just another girlfriend that wouldnât last long. So he didnât really interact with you much. Ignoring your existence when it wasnât too rude, or at least obviously rude. Until one night when he was staying at the manor and had a nightmare about his parents death.Â
Bruce had an open bed policy. As long as there was still room for him, his bed was open. A policy he had started when Dick had gotten old enough he was worried he wouldnât be allowed to go when he had a nightmare. Bruce had always reminded all his kids, that nightmares donât go away just because youâre older and that needing comfort wasnât something they would outgrow.Â
The thing was, you were there. Girlfriends didnât mind when children did it but they never liked it when his adult kids did it. The shaking in his hands and the way he saw them fall in the darkness of every blink told him the only way he was getting any sleep was with someone.Â
Hopefully he could just slip into Bruceâs side and leave before you woke up. That was the plan until he found Damian on Bruceâs side and you had been pulled closer to Bruce taking up what was left. You moved a little and Dick took that as his sign to deal with it himself until he heard you whisper his name. He hummed so you knew it was him and not some random stranger standing over Bruceâs side of the bed.Â
âNightmare?â
âYeah.â
âCome on.â You lifted the blanket next to you, âBruce told me you guys come here when you have nightmares. There's plenty of room over here for you.â Dick hesitated for a second before giving in. He needed sleep anyway. You werenât when you said there was plenty of room, Dick had most of your half of the bed. Once he had settled on his side, facing away from you, he felt you pull the blanket over his shoulders.Â
âNight Dick, sleep well.â For some reason, that was what did it. Once the tears started they didnât stop. Silent sobs made him shudder and he felt one of your hands gently rubbing his back. âOh Dick.â There was no pity in your tone and he found himself rolling over and curling into you. Your chin resting on his head while you rubbed his back.Â
The next day, he followed you around like a puppy. Your side of the bed became his favorite when he had nightmares and it wasnât long before he turned to you for general comfort over anything.
Jason met you at his grave. Neither of you exchanged words, but he caught something in your gaze he didnât quite understand. He also wasnât sure why you were at his grave either, he didnât know you when he was younger.Â
When he saw the Gotham News post about Bruce and Your 2nd anniversary, it brought more questions than answers. Why were you at his grave alone? Let alone longer than a few seconds. It was an odd way to gain more of Bruceâs affections.Â
Every Tuesday you would be there, leaving flowers and talking softly to the stone. Every time you left, you would smile and nod, the look in your eyes he couldnât figure out was still there. Every time he would strain to heat what you were saying and only be able yo a few words here and there.Â
6 months into it, the routine changed. You brought a blanket and Basket with your usual flowers. You did what you normally did with the flowers but instead of talking to the stone you waved him over. When he didnât move, you stopped what you were doing and looked at him.Â
âJason Todd, I have been keeping your secret for 6 months. Helping me spread this blanket and having lunch wonât change it.â He stared at you while you waited expectantly. Eventually when he could get himself to move, he came over and helped. He sat down where you motioned for him too, all while trying to figure out how you knew.
âBruce mentioned this used to be your favorite when you were younger so I asked Alfred to teach me how to make it. I hope it's up to your standards.â He looked at the plate of food you handed him. It was almost overflowing with food, all of which reminded him of the good times back at the manor before he died. âAlfred also sent your favorite cookies when he heard I would be eating at your grave.â The bag of cookies was placed next to the basket, within easy reach.
âWhy?â Was all Jason managed to choke out around the lump in his throat.
âI decided early on in life, no matter who I was with, I would love their family as my own. My grandfather hated my grandmothers side and it caused a lot of pain in all the generations. I decided I would never do that to another family.â Jason found himself back in control enough to start eating.Â
âSo when I started dating Bruce and he told me about you, I decided to treat you like you were my own. Even though I had never met you and you were dead. Most of what that meant was keeping your grave clean and always making sure there were fresh flowers. While I did that, I would tell you everything that was going on.â
âHow did you know it was me?â
âYour eyes, they may be a different color but they looked too similar. So I did a little digging and found pictures of your biological pictures to place the face shape it matched. I think however you look more like Bruce then either of them.â
âAre you going to tell them?â
âAs much as I would love to. Itâs your choice. Youâve been keeping this to yourself for a reason. If I can help you get to a place to tell them, I would love to. But I wonât say a word until you're ready. However, I would like to keep having lunch with you.âÂ
A year later, Jason reintroduced himself to the rest of the family a lot calmer than originally planned and was glued to your side anytime he felt overwhelmed that night. Every Tuesday after that, lunch was scheduled.
Tim was nervous when it came to you. He was still living in the manor so he saw you more than the older two. You always seemed nice and respected his privacy but Bruce was always with you so you obviously would.Â
It was when he wasnât around that worried Tim. Bruce attracted golddiggers and they were always mean when Bruce wasnât there. When you were given a copy of the key, Time braced himself.Â
Of course he knew that if he told Bruce anything that happened like that, Bruce would break it off. He had always told them that they came first. But he also knew that Bruce liked you a lot. All the other ones Bruce liked a lot that turned out to be horrible, he broked it off. Tim had seen how it had made him upset and he really hated doing that to him. Maybe he could deal with it for once.Â
So when Bruce left for a business trip, Tim was Expecting the worst. What he didnât expect was for you to knock on his door and ask if you could join him. When he agreed and stepped back so you could come in. He expected you to go to his bed or his desk chair not, the oversized bean bag on the floor.
âI have a question for you but you canât tell Bruce yet.â Here it comes. âWhat would a funny way to tell him I know heâs Batman?â Tim wasnât expecting that one. âI was thinking a lot of batpuns but his paranoia is too bad for that.â
âHow did you figure it out?â You walked him through your process and didnât say anything as he wrote parts of it down. Once you finished explaining the process for Bruce, you explained any way it was modified in figuring out their identities.
âWho do you think I am?â
âRed Robin.â Tim found himself getting excited.Â
âYou know those notes you leave him in his office?â You nodded. âYou should leave those in the Batcave.â You considered it but your thinking was interrupted but Tim shouting.Â
âNo! One night when weâre all in the cave, you could bring some snacks!âÂ
âYou just want snacks when heâs lecturing you donât you?â
âMaybe..â
âAlright, but you have to tell the others so they can tell me what snack they want.â
So Tim slowly and carefully went through all his siblings, letting them know you figured it out, Bruce didnât know, and what the plan is. Every time he relayed a snack to you heâd watch how carefully youâd write it out to make sure you had it correct or look up recipes if you couldnât find it in stores.Â
Two weeks later, Tim was the one who sent the signal in the middle of a lecture everyone was receiving and he got a front row seat to see Bruceâs face when you walked in and handed out snacks before giving him a kiss and telling him to be nice and leaving.Â
Any other worries were left in the dust when you helped him win the nerf war for the best seat in the home theater. He thoroughly enjoyed his spot next to you while Bruce swore revenge from the other side of the room.
Damian treated you politely but that was it. His mother was still alive and he didnât want another one, one was more than enough. Not only that, but you were weird.Â
One time when you were over, you found one of his report cards. Immediately you were praising him. He didnât understand why, he had basically failed one of his classes with an A-. You should be disappointed like his mother would be, not hanging it up on the fridge and telling people not to touch it. Definitely not taking him out for ice cream and calling him so smart. He definitely shouldnât be feeling any pride when he walked past it, but he still was.Â
When he was practicing his violin and Messed up, you were supposed to tell him to stop failing, that he should be better. Not smiling at him and telling him heâs making good progress. You should be telling him that he should have memorized that piece in a day. He shouldnât be feeling any pride when he finally does memorize it, it took him 4 days to learn it.
When he was struggling to learn a language, you were supposed to tell him to work harder. He could do better, after all, he already knew so many. Instead you just smiled and recommended a break to refresh his mind.Â
When he snapped at you in Arabic, he expected you to be upset since you didnât know what he said and it was obviously not something nice. Instead you set the rule that if he was going to use Arabic to speak to you when upset, that he had to teach it to you and if what he said wasnât something you had learned yet, he had to tell you in english. When he told you what it meant, you didnât even get upset. He definitely shouldnât be as excited as he was when you actually started learning.Â
So many more little things piled up, leaving Damian confused. The differences between how you and his mother treated him was so big he didnât know how to process it, he liked you and all the little things made him happy in a way he hadnât really felt. But he still loved his mom, When he had enough of it, he asked you to stop. He still wanted to love his mom. Once again, you did something you werenât supposed to.
âOh Damian, Iâm not trying to replace your mom nor am I trying to make you feel like you canât love her or she doesnât love you. Your mom and I show our love in different ways and its ok for you to love or like both of us. You mother loves you and she will always be allowed in your life if thats what you want.â You werenât supposed to do that, but Damian was really glad you did.
Barbara wasnât sure how you would react to her. She wasnât just Bruceâs kid. She had a loving family she went back to every night. Most people werenât really a fan of that, one of Bruceâs past girlfriends had some strong and hurtful things to say about it.Â
When you took her for a day out, she found herself warming up to you but still waiting for the other shoe to drop. One of the new places you had planned to go, didnât have wheelchair access. Like all the other girlfriends who had done this, she expected you to be annoyed that your plans had to change or you would just leave her outside while you shopped.Â
You didnât seem to notice her hesitation, just looking at what was next on your list and starting the trip there. When Barbara stared a little longer at a new movie that was in theaters, tickets and snacks were bought and you listed to all the lore she told you about before it started.
While it had been a nice day, Barbara wasnât convinced. One day was easy to fake. Sure she had lots of fun, but Barbara was used to fakes when it came to Bruceâs girlfriends. Of course she wasnât complaining about you being nice, she just wasnât sure how long it would last.Â
âDid you hear about that boutique?â She looked up from her food to look at her dad. âThat new one that you tried to go to with Bruceâs girlfriend? Well there was a report that it didnât meet the Americans with Disabilities act and the boutique is in trouble. People are speculating theyâll have to close down.â
Later that night, Barbara looked into it. They were in trouble, pretty big trouble from the looks of it. Towards the end of the article she found the name of the person who reported it, she wasnât sure who she was expecting. Not you for sure but the Name Y/n L/n took her by surprise and filled her chest with feelings she couldnât describe.Â
The boutique ended up closing but a new one opened. Once it was open, you were the first to ask her to go. That weird feeling came back when she wheeled herself up the ramp and through the door you held open for her. Later that night, in the privacy of her room. She decided she liked you.Â
Steph seemed like she liked you, she acted like she liked you, she didnât really like you. Sure you were nice, Bruce loved you, the others were warming up to you, but she wasnât sure how to feel about you. So she stuck with not actually liking you but pretending to.Â
So when she was around you, it was all smiles and jokes. She wasnât a big fan of it all but she did it because she knew you were important to Bruce and that was enough of a reason for her. She knew Bruce and the others could see through the act but as long as you couldnât, that was enough.Â
When Bruce announced he had to leave for a business trip right before she could hand him the parents visit for one of her AP classes, something the new teacher liked doing. She tucked the paper away. When Tim gave her a questioning look, she shook her head and later swore him to silence.Â
Every time she heard someone mention their parents were going, she felt a pang of jealousy in her chest. Every time Tim mentioned bringing it up to you, she swore him into silence again. It wouldnât be the first time no one showed up for her. She was however thankful you wouldnât be at the manor as much so she didnât have to pretend to like you.
When the day arrived, Steph was not having a good day. School dragged on slowly. Slower than normal. When school finally ended, she had to sit in the classroom and watch everyone else that was in her class leave and the parents of her classmates show up while no one was there or coming for her.
Someone sat in the seat next to her, she expected another family member of one of her classmates. Definitely not you. She couldnât return your smile, too unsure of how you found out, the fact you actually showed up, and how she felt about you being there. You leaned a little closer so that the others in the room wouldnât easily overhear.Â
âI know Iâm not your parent and someone you just pretend to like so if you want me to leave I will. But I figured someone was better then no one. Oh, and Tim wanted me to tell you he didnât spill. Your teacher called the manor because no one had RSVPed for you and I answered it.â
That night, as Steph showed off all her hard work to you, the charade fell. She actually enjoyed her time with you and the boost of pride as you oohed and ahhed over all her projects and listened to her explain all the little details. That night, Steph realized, she didnât need to keep pretending. She liked you, until she found out you didnât like her favorite show but a nerf war solved that.Â
Cass could tell you were different then the other girlfriends, your body language as you interacted with all of them showed it. However that didnât mean she knew how to interact with you.
She had learned that she was fairly hard for new people to interact with. She also knew she had trouble interacting with people she wasnât fighting. So it wasnât a surprise when it started rocky.Â
What was a surprise, was when you found out she was still having trouble reading and writing, you stepped in to help. Well, that wasnât the surprising part, a lot of girlfriends did that. The surprising part was the amount of patience you had when it was only the two of you.Â
When one method didnât help, you tried another. Never once did you snap at her or call her a name. Everytime you got frustrated you would stop and look at her, say something along the lines of âIf I had as much trouble with this as you do, I wouldnât want to keep trying. You're doing absolutely amazing! Iâll keep looking for other ideas, but for now, lets take a break and get a treat.âÂ
Cass wasnât sure why that always made her feel better, but it did. Every treat you brought was something you made just for the tutoring sessions and it always reminded her of what Alfred had told her once. âSomething made with love for you will always taste better.â
And when a method that made it a little easier to learn was found, Cass found herself smiling along with your cheers. Bad days where she couldnât seem to make any progress were always met with the same excitement, cheers, patience, and treats that all the others were.Â
Cass still wasnât sure of what to think of you exactly, but she knew she liked you and that you cared about her.
So when Tim saw the new rise in hate, a sibling meeting was called. They all went through each site, blood boiling as they saw what people were saying about their new parent. Plans were made, declarations of war were ready, and anger fueled all of them. Bruce could tell something was going on, but he wasnât sure what it was and as long as it didnât get out of had, he wasnât sure if he had the energy to deal with it.Â
War was declared in an interview by Steph. The lady was asking questions when the topic switched to Bruce, then you. The reporter was clearly trying to subtly find some dirt on you and Steph was not going to stand for it.
âOh yeah! Y/n! Sheâs the best!â She put on her best press face. Trying to hide her anger over the hidden intent. She didnât have to lie or act when talking about you but the change in the ladyâs face going to disappointment when she didnât get anything she wanted was making her look very punchable.Â
âSheâs always showing up for us and making sure weâre doing ok. If Y/n and Bruce were to break up, I think most of us would go with Y/n.â The way the lady kept trying to get anything really got on her nerves and Steph decided she needed to get out of there before she started using the ladyâs face for target practice. You wouldnât like that.
Cass was the first one to resort to violence. They had asked a thinly veiled question, basically asking if you were a golddigger. So she punched him in the nose and leaned down to flip the camera off. She hated interviews already but that made it so much worse. She hoped you wouldnât be too upset with her punching the guy though.
Jason, surprisingly enough. Did not get violent⌠physically. He did however curse one out and threaten him when the reporter implied you were forcing them to say nice things. When the reporter kept pressing Jason broke his mic and told him if he ever heard him talking bad about you again, a broken mic would be the last of his worries. Jason knew you would be disappointed but he had held back, he didnât shoot the guy like he wanted.
Tim threw his coffee at one reporter because he heard them say you were nothing but a regular person who didnât deserve any attention. He then took over her segment, threatening the company to air it or he would make sure they went bankrupt. Once he finished his threats, anything he said was praising you name. Telling everyone how amazing you were and how much they all loved you.
Barbara made it a point to bring up everything you did for the community when they tried to throw some shade at you in an interview. She had documents to prove it and hacked their systems to add them into the interview so they couldnât claim it was fake. She also made sure to run over his foot when she left.Â
Dick punched a reporter when they tried to ask him what you were really like behind closed doors. He told them the truth, that you were just as good, kind, patient, and loving behind closed doors as you were out in public. He didnât throw a punch until the reporter disregarded that as asked again because she couldnât be that good. Dick knew a lecture would be coming once you saw, but he would rather sit through a lecture then let anyone tarnish your name.
Damian spent 10 minutes cursing and threatening a reporter in Arabic when they asked him if you had ever hurt him. When he was done, he told them in english, that if he ever got asked that question again, he would impale them. He knew you were going to make him sit down and translate everything and the general response you would give but he didnât care, no one speaks bad about either of his mothers.
Bruce figured out what was going on after Stephâs interview. He saw the ones where they assaulted or threatened the reporters and made sure his lawyers were on standby to keep the kids out of trouble. After all, he had seen more than they had.Â
He had watched as you tried to connect with Dick early on, how you worked hard to try and get somewhere. He had woken up before you when Dick had come in that night and heard how you handled it. He had woken up the next morning to find you holding Dick close, like you were trying to protect him from the nightmares. He had seen how you never turned Dick down when he wanted comfort, no matter how serious or silly the matter, and he had heard your excitement when you told him Dick liked you.
Bruce had seen the way you never missed a visit to Jasonâs grave, on a visit of his own, he saw how much care you showed the stone marking it as his lost son. While he hadnât been sure why it was alway the same time on Tuesday, he didn;t mention it. He felt the way you would sob in his arms after each visit, a year after the tradition started, you always said you had promised not to tell and he watched as you kept that promise even if it tore you to pieces. Once the shock and tears wore off for a little bit, he could see the trust that Jason had in you.
He heard the way you questioned if you should have a key to the manor, you didnât want to make Tim uncomfortable in his own home, or how you questioned if you should visit while he was gone. Not wanting to stress Tim out when there was no reason too. He saw the way you and Tim grinned at each other when you brought snacks down for all the kids he was currently lecturing. He head the excitement in your voice as you told him about the tour Tim had given you of the Batcave and the shared laughter as you and Tim worked together to win the nerf war.
Bruce saw how you worked to give Damian the affection he didnât think he needed. He felt you crying in his arms upset over the fact Damian thought you would be angry because he made a mistake or struggled in a class. He heard you practicing your Arabic as you got ready for bed and he watched as you stress paced over whether or not you said the right thing to him about his mother.Â
He saw how angry you had been when you came back from your day out with Barbara. He had heard your call with your lawyer as you tried to figure out what to do. He saw you going through the laws and making a list to make sure your lawyer didnât miss any. He heard about the movie you didnât particularly care about and the lore you remembered in case of another because you wanted Barbara to have someone she could tell all of her favorite things too.Â
Bruce saw the pictures you had taken from the school night. He heard all the details from you as you praised Stephâs work. He saw the way Steph stopped acting around you and the silly arguments the two of you would get into for fun. He heard the way you would listen to her as she verbally worked out her problems. He saw the way Steph looked for you in a crowd, the way she knew you were there but not where you stood exactly, the thought of you not being there never crossed her.Â
He saw the way you stayed up late, researching different ways to teach reading and writing. He heard the patience and kindness and you worked with Cass. He saw the way you always made a treat just for Cass to have after each lesson because you wanted to reward her hard work. He heard the way you cried for Cass when she had a bad day and got frustrated with herself because you knew she was smart and you wanted her to see it too. He heard your celebrations when Cass made any progress, no matter the size.Â
Bruce heard, saw, and felt the way you worked hard to have a relationship with his kids. How you had mourned for their losses, celebrated their wins, and felt their pain. He saw the way his kids blossomed under your care, growing to be better and more confident in themselves. The way you cared for them as if they were your own flesh and blood. So when he was asked about his kids behavior, he said as much.Â
âY/n has worked hard to be accepted by them. Sheâs given so much of her time, effort, patience, and love and never wanted anything in return. She always shows up for them, no matter what the occasion is, big or small, it doesnât matter. If they want her there, sheâll be there. Everytime they need or want her, sheâs there. She never judges them and treats them as if they were her own blood. Of course their upset and lashing out, people are insulting the woman who has cared for them more then most of their biological mothers.â
Later, a clip of you scolding Bruce and all the kids went viral. While you were scolding them over their behavior and making the kids who had reacted with violence or threats write apology letters because asking mean questions does not make it right to respond badly especially when its someone just trying to start drama. Everyone one noticed that there was no actual bite to your tone and no anger when they all refused to stop acting like that. In fact, there was a small soft smile on your face as you shook your head at your family.
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