#don't mix uppers and downers

[scvlly]

AND ALWAYS TEST YOUR FUCKING DRUGS.

why do so many teenagers follow me. you know i do drugs right.

[blerb-f1]

"Lost" - Charles Leclerc x fem!reader

Charles celebrates too hard and gets lost. More news at 6

Find more on my masterlist!

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“Sir?”

“Sir!”

“Wah?”

Charles awoke as he felt his shoulder getting ruffled, eyes dry and hurting. His throat was dry.

“Sir, please get up. This train is finished cleaning, you have to leave”

‘Train?’, he wondered in confusion. Hadn't he just been celebrating his win in Monaco? He took a look at the person shaking him. She was a train attendant, pretty looking he might add. Her uniform was not flattering the least. A light blue t-shirt with a dark blue vest thrown over it. Her accent was german. He attempted to get out of his seat but stumbled, bad leg control.

She supported his shoulder. 

“Where am I?”

“Far off from any kind of civilisation you'd normally travel to, based on that watch on your arm” the attended reported. “The middle of nowhere, in Germany.”

Charles held his head. “I don't remember getting on this train at all.”

She looked at him with a lifted eyebrow. “Well, you had all the necessary tickets for your journey. Must have gotten them from somewhere.”

Together they walked outside of the train. The train station was small, one white painted building. Only two tracks, lot's off trees.

“Have you got anywhere to go to?”

Charles looked at her, thinking. Fumbling around his pocket resulted in nothing, his phone and wallet were gone. Shit.

“Apparently not. Let's just get going. You can stay the night with me, I've got space.”

“Can't I just take this train back to where I'm from?” Charles asked her in desperation.

“Good Joke, truly. This train runs every two hours during the day. And then you'd have to take more trains, none of which usually run in the night as well. Also, I've had a long day of work. I'm really, really beat up.”

Charles sighed. ‘What did I just get myself into? The people saying to not mix uppers and downers were right…’

She led him to her Car, a little silver Hyundai. Throwing her backpack in and settling into the driver's seat, she sighed in relief. “Finally done.”

“Done?”

“I've got the weekend off. Your arrival kinda ruined it but we gotta take the things as they come. I'm Y/N L/N. You?”

“Charles Leclerc”

“That sounds French”

“Monegasque”

“What? I don't know that word”

“I'm from Monaco!”

She looked at him in surprise.  “Now you're pulling my leg. You got here from MONACO? You must have taken like 10+ trains!”

“Urgs, not so loud. My head hurts”

“God.” She groaned as she inserted the car key, starting the little engine. “Move your hand”

“Huh?”

“Either you move your hand or you loosen the handbrake. I can't get it with you spreading over there”

Charles quickly lifted his arms in the air. “Isn't it Electric?”

She just looked at him exasperated. “Do I look like I'm shitting money? I can't afford a car that new. Unless you'd wanna pay one Mr. Money Bag over there.”

“Oi, that's rude”

“You're from Monaco, don't y'all bath in money and champagne? Now, let's just get going.”

The car ride was silent with Charles looking out of the windows. This really was the countryside. Trees, fields, cows and horses. Lots of half-timbered houses.

After half an hour of journey, with them passing over roads he'd never even classify as those, considering the many holes and breaks they finally reached a large property. A large half timbered house with a similar looking barn and a long building houses garages presented itself to him. She parked the Hyundai in one of the Garages, the smaller one to be exact, and stepped outside.

Charles followed her as she unlocked the front door, revealing a house with small-ish rooms with low height walls painted weight. The most color each room spotted was oak- all the furniture and floor were oak. He had never been in a house like this before.

“Stair up, the left room is the bathroom. Soap's there, go shower. I'll put clean clothes and towels in front of the door for you.”

“Shower?” 

“Sorry …Charlie. You stink. Long journey and all”

“Ah, I'm so sorry! I'll go shower immediately!”

Charles stepped into the bathroom, throwing his clothes on the ground. The second they left his body he noticed the less than stellar stench of sweat, alcohol and weed stuck on them. The water hitting his skin felt heavenly, scrubbing off layers of grime and dirt he never thought could amass so quickly. The water was different, as well. It didn't smell of chlorine as much, more like iron instead. Nonetheless, only after the shower did he realize what a stinky guy he had become. The clothes laid in front of the door were oversized on him. Some red, used polo shirt and cargo pants with frayed edges awaited him. Downstairs in the Kitchen, Y/N had changed into casual wear, foot already served on the table. Charles settled into the chair, staring at the provided meal. “What, you’re not hungry?” she asked him, tauntingly. “I don’t know how to eat this” he had to state.

“Look”, she said. The table was covered in two plates, each having a solid kind of bun laid on it and a pot with sausages swimming around. She took her knife, cutting a slit into the Bun. “Take the Brötchen-”, she then grabbed a fork and fished out a sausage, putting it into the ‘Brötchen’, “then put the sausage in there. "That's it.”

“Nothing else?” Charles asked, pretty confused.

“Yeah, simple meal you know. "Nothing fancy.”

“Hm.”

They ate silently, with Charles being confused at how hard that Brötchen was. He slept in the living room that night. The house didn’t have blinds but there were no street lights to keep him awake. Instead pure silence, something he never encountered anywhere. It was almost blissful - until the sun woke him up at 6AM and the birds were singing really loudly. He heard a loud mechanical noise and a cupboard clinking, then Y/N appeared in the doorway, offering a mug. “Coffee.”

The cup of coffee was hot, very nice.

“We’ll go to the electronics store to get you a phone, so that you can get your stuff in order. I can’t get you onto a plane without documents.”

“Aight.”

“Are we there soon?”

“Sorry mate, nothing’s close by.”

Driving to the electronic store took over half an hour and as they finally arrived, no grand palace was awaiting him. It was a dinky old little store, the bottom floor housing washing machines, fridges and vacuums. The upstairs was mostly TVs and DVDs, the phones tucked into the corner. Charles approached the few iPhones they had there, playing around with them.

“Dude, pick something cheaper”

"Why?" I’d just buy something that lasts.”

Y/N looked at him in annoyance. “I don’t know when you’ll be able to pay me back. That stupid phone is like a third of my monthly income. I can’t afford that.”

“A third?”, he asked in shock.

“Yeah, train attendants don’t earn much. Tickets want to be cheap right? Also…” she added. “We gotta get you a limited plan. Since you don’t have an ID, I have to be the owner. We should get a monthly one so that i can cancel it later.”

He simply agreed, settling on one heck of a cheap phone.

“Finally.” he sighed, installing his social media apps and creating a new WhatsApp profile. Contact to the outside world could be established.

“I need to call my team.”

“Please do, i bet they’re worried sick”

Charles leaned against the door as Y/N settled inside, as he heard the familiar call beep. Then, a voice he hadn’t heard in a while returned from the speaker.

“Who’s there?”, asked his friend, Andrea Ferrari.

“It’s me, Charles!”

"Charles?!" Where the fuck have you been ? We were so worried about you!”

“So fun story, i apparently took multiple trains and am now somewhere randomly in Germany. And I lost my wallet along with my phone.”

“Somewhere in Germany and no identification… Can you rent a car?”

“No, since I obviously have no ID, right?”

"Ah, shit. How’d you get a phone?”

“A train attendant took me in and bought it, but she can’t really afford more than that.”

Andrea seemed to think for a moment. “What if we send her money and she drives you back?”

“That sounds like a moronic, stupid journey…”

Shortly afterwards, Y/N made large eyes as insane amounts of cash appeared on her bank account. She didn’t believe that Charles actually was rich, especially not that he was an F1 Driver. For Ferrari as well! The Michael Schumacher Ferrari! She was quick to convince however, as a paid vacation like that sounded like a nice idea. They headed to the car dealership which also rented cars.

“Hyundai, again?” Charles complained.

Y/N just stared at him. “I know a guy there, the only spot where they won’t scam you.”

She had picked a car that looked quite similar to hers, just a bit longer with more horsepower. “I don’t like driving big cars. Want some power for the Autobahn though.” Charles whined in Response:” Can’t I drive? Pretty please? I haven't driven a car in a while~”

“Do you currently have a physical license?”

“No”

“Then shut up. I'd lose my license if we were to get caught. My car takes me to work, no options without”

He wanted to pout in response but that had quickly become not an option. The drive was sheer madness. Y/N was running on hopes and energy drinks, pushing the little car to its limit. Charles was gripping every piece of interieur he physically could as she drove at max speed for every stretch she could. Google had estimated the journey to take 13 hours, she shaved off 2 of them. He made a note of never saying that women were the calmer drivers. Blasting loud techno music that turned into a monotonous drone combined with the engine screaming as German countryside flew past him, only interrupted by gas station breaks.

Sweet, sweet silence they proved to be. A heaven of calm, shoved tightly between what most likely was an out-of-body experience.

Then, silence, white doves and heavenly goodness stopped: the return of techno. Y/N throwing the Car around Italy’s shit roads, ignoring all laws of traffic ever created. One goal in Mind: Maranello.

With the crack of dawn and the first worker’s arriving to open the doors, they saw something they had never seen in their long career. A crazed car coming to a full stop, brakes glowing hot directly in front of them. Passenger side flung open and their golden treasure stepping out. Il Predestino had returned, he had risen from the dead. 

And was vomiting against a tree.

“Aren’t you F1 Drivers supposed to be tough or something?”

Charles tiredly leaned against said tree, face free of blood. “We’re tough but not tough like that. I can survive a long ass GP but not 11 hours of insanity”

The crazed driver laughed, her whole body shaking. She approached him, forcefully shaking his hand. “It was nice to get to know you, big boy. I want to go to sleep now, hit me up if you want to visit Germany again.” Y/N shoved a slip of paper between his tightly pressed fingers and walked off as an employee showed her the way. She was to stay somewhere close by as some NDAstuff needed to be handled now.

On the other side, more people were approaching. Charles' friends, the team and the media. Maybe Germany was actually a nice spot to vacation in. Without all the circus going on here. When was the winter break again?

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I pinky promise that i WILL continue this since i wrote it for my friend acexf1 over on YouTube. It's more set-up than anything rn. My other stuff is also getting continuations now!

[nym-wibbly]

You think endverse Cas was really human? I mean was he a reliable narrator in that script or doing this whole performance to hide himself in plain sight while being more than human less than angel?

Good question! I didn't come away from that ep believing he was fully human, personally - his ability to both instantly spot time-travel!Dean and effortlessly identify what must've happened to him speaks to that. His senses aren't fully human, maybe - at the very least, he retains a mind free from the confabulation and confusion that humans can't avoid when perceiving the world. He sees - and trusts - exactly what's actually there in front of him when the 'wrong' Dean walks in. No hesitation or bewilderment because his brain's telling him two different things - just a few pertinent followup questions to get the context of Dean's time travelling. He still has the uncomplicated, uncomfortable clarity and directness of angel!Cas.

It says a lot that this timeline's Cas describes being human as a step down. Endverse!Cas equates his relative lack of power with becoming human, but losing his angel powers isn't enough to leave him fully human, I don't think. Mortal, maybe, and functionally diminished as a warrior, but not human. It's like he's using it as a catchall word for his fall from grace, and as a derogatory label for his own limited capacity to make a difference in their fight. I don't think he thinks less of humanity than he did before, but he thinks a lot less of himself. Not because he's human, or humanlike, but because he's failed.

I'd suggest that Endverse!Cas's ability to function as an ally who Dean can tolerate (or even allow to live) means that he's less affected by the substance abuse than a human would be. I can't see that version of Dean tolerating any liability in his ranks, let alone in the leadership tier. Maybe Cas walks a thin line with it, always a misstep away from Dean having to take decisive action about him, but he seemed ultra-competent, and trusted, for a guy mixing uppers, downers, and probably sideways-ers, with apocalyptic stress levels and the loss of his very identity.

I do think hiding in plain sight could be a really big part of what we saw from Endverse!Cas. Hiding from himself as much as anything else. Hiding what? Despair, I think. We see hints of that same bitterness and acting-out in regular Cas later in S5, when he thinks that Dean's about to surrender to Michael; that his faith has been (once again) misplaced and the fight is lost. Cas needs something to believe in and fight for because that's how he's made. He takes failure very hard and very personally. There's something defensive about Endverse!Cas, prickly and difficult, even when he's smiling and appears body-comfortable. That easy geniality vibrates with an edge of, "Just try me", like a neon warning sign. I doubt anyone but Dean ever gets the opportunity to see past it.

The End is such a brilliant script, such a well-made episode that it feels like a complete 'verse, but there are so many unanswered questions about how the characters ended up where that story found them. It's a headcanon and fanfiction goldmine because it's so sparing, and I love it. (But I'd just about kill for a Camp Chitaqua or Sam-as-Lucifer spinoff serial to tell me much, much more about it.)

[transmutationisms]

hi caden you’ve talked before about enjoying using stimulant drugs i am interested from the pov of someone who isn’t going to be like “they cured my symptoms <3” what they did for you. i’m considering getting an adhd diagnosis bc i think i could benefit from the meds even though i don’t think the classification itself is useful

finally, a medical advice question i can answer. i will cut to the chase here: i basically just like being mildly high on amphetamines. if you ever like, drank a shitload of caffeine all at once, that's kind of a shittier and weaker version of how it feels when an rx stimulant kicks in. they make you feel more energetic and awake (good for me because i am eepy), they can produce a mild sense of euphoria, they generally just sort of heighten your arousal / attention / alertness. for me, i pretty reliably experience this as being more confident / lively / interested in things (tho it's not uncommon for many people that this can also feel like heightened anxiety, so ymmv). i can use this boost to like, get work done, or just for recreational purposes lol. often both! i actually used to have short-release stims as my rx, and a lot of times i would snort them, again sometimes purely recreationally and sometimes more prupose-driven. if you're going to do that there are some additional health risks lol so i wouldn't necessarily recommend it casually, but ya know. (i have kinda soured on the short-release ones anyway because i tend to forget to keep re-upping them and then i get terrible crashes coming on and off them. the long-release are a little kinder in that respect, you just won't really be able to mess with the dose to the same degree.)

there's a lot of mystification around rx stimulants from psychiatric and pharmaceutical authorities who are trying really hard to differentiate their products from more stigmatised, illegal uppers. this really appealed to me when i first got dxed with adhd lol, but is basically horseshit, pharmacologically speaking; uppers are uppers and some people like them. for example, i also enjoy coke, but it's expensive, doesn't last that long, and comes with the risks of any black-market drug, where i'm not able to know for sure how much it's cut & with what, &c. so, i don't really think of rx uppers as being different categorically to black-market ones, but all drugs have different considerations and you might like one over another for any number of reasons.

anyway yeah: i like adhd drugs, and although i can and do use them to accomplish certain things (like, it is true they make it easier to sustain focus, eg on work or boring chores or whatever), i do also just like the feeling of using them. i don't feel like i need to justify either of those reasons for using stims lol, and also, separating the two is basically impossible in practice and imo is really just a fantasy of drug moralisers who don't want to admit that a it's, like, ok to enjoy substances. obviously, if you want to look into uppers, i would also strongly recommend keeping an eye on potential side effects and long-term risks, of which there definitely are some (particularly some cardiac things to keep in mind, and risks go up if you're using higher amounts, and/or mixing with other substances esp downers).

[flaskoflethe]

It's an... Experience. 4loko may have a meme status, but it's a seriously bad idea.

an extremely specific skillset that you don't have - *yet*

True--but I do NOT have steady hands. I used to do a couple shots of vodka before I had to do precision knife work just to steady them out. I've got a mild intermittent tremor that would make my pinstripes more of a pinwiggle.

I mean, I'll do it, but he's gotta buy me a drink or two before I take a swing at it.

[fireball-me]

"Don't mix uppers and downers!" I shout, but it's too late. My friend has already begun pouring Adderall into his giant bubbling cauldron of depressed and tired people

[disregardenedgnostic]

i've been torrenting a shitton of anime for like the past month straight barring the occasional power outage or tripped breaker. My CPU's uptime hjust passed thirteen days.

i have no idea what a handle is. my computer is punisheing me for my unbelievable hubris by passive-aggressivelty threatening to kill itself

i am either becoming a god or being majorly stink-eyed by the good lord. i just spilled malt ligupr on my sweatpants i'm definitely gonna smeell like booze in thye morning (i say it's 5am). now i know that it's possible someone that there's slomeone reading this who grew up with enough money they yhink i mean single-malt whiskey because tjat's happened befgore and no i don't mean single-malt whiskey i really really don't this shit's way cheaper and way tastier and i have open a 24oz can of the stuff that's about two-thirds of a liter for people from normal places yes that's a lot for one drink even at okay wait i can't actually find a %ABV on here that's probablty fine disregard that mixing alcohol and antidepressants is universally a bad idea of course i'm taking the duloxetine more for neuropathy tha ndepression heehehehhehehee not that that matters but shit the alcoholism'ws winning tonight! 15yo me was right giving in to the drink rules i should mix weed in that's a great idea and it's a spliff too i'm supposed to never smoke tobacoo ever since my doctor made me quit because it makes my migraines worse an also akl the other reasons WE'RE DOING ALL THE BAD IDEAS TONIGHT BABY i'm gonna make sure i don't try to mix uppers and downers HEY ME A CC OUPLE HOURS FROM NOW DO NOT FUCKIONG TAKE THOSE CAFFEINE PILLS THAT'S AN EVEN WORSE IDEA YOU WILL PROBABLY GO TO THE HISPITAL AND IT;LL BE REALLY REALLY EMBARASSING

fuck it's hot in here. runniong the computer for 13 days coinciding with a heat wave definitely has something to do with that yaaaaaaaaaaaay the weed's kikimg in :D oop coughing glah

y'know this is a spiral. this is definitely a spiral. i dropped outta my summer classes, i'm halfwzay to dropping out of college. again. shut up, kurt vonnegut dropped out twice! and tried to kill himself at least twice! and shit he wrote Slapstick! like i love that book but how the fuck do you recover from thAT? i dunno but hey he did it

you know what this started when that bookcase attacked me. shit i ain't kurt vonnegut i can't come back from that that's a fucking anime gag i've seen that happen in at least two anime //three if you count both fullmetal alchemists!// ↑those aren't effective replacements for parentheses! <==art thou fucking kidding me with this goddamn alt code shit we need to go back to 1998 that was the golden age of web design ╚oh ypu wanna go back to 1998 huh kill urself lololol | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | wow our gets and insults and other such bantz were at least creative back then geez also spelling §BECK IN MYYYYY DAY WE USED ENCYCLOPAEDIAE AND WE LIKED IT. AND THE OXFORD ENGLISH DICTIONARY! ABSURDLY THOROUGH MICRO-PRINT EDITION WITH INCLUDED MAGNIFYING GLASS. I KNOW IT'S FROM THE 5Os and 6O dollars BUT IT'S WORTH IT! YOU KNOW IT IS! IT'S THE DEFINITIVE DESCRIPTIVE DICTIONARY OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE! IT'S A WORK OF AAAAAAART!!!!!

>encyclopaediae >british spelling kekw

Is that even how greentext works, 4chan-user me? Also fuuuuuck offffffffff

>FORMATTING BITCH >also HAH HAH HAHAHAH >YOU'LL NEVER BE RID OF ME OVER-[name.] >hatehatehateseethecopeseethe

§YOU WANT US TO COOK FOOD BY BOILING IT? SEETHE AN EGG? AND C O P I N G IS A GOOD THING! WITLESS HACK!

Buddy. Really-Old me. That's not what she means by cope. Everyone knows you know that. And that definition of 'seethe' was archaic even in that dictionary you wanted. Probably.

§AND NOW WE'LL NEVER KNOW, WILL WE?

...We go to that bookstore plenty. It's literally the only game in town unless you count the antique store across the street that sells old books for way too much. And, really, I'm not paying 20 bucks for a copy of Kafka's The Trial when I could get the full set of Shakespeare's Comedies and Tragedies across the street for 40. Again. whydididothatwhydoesanyonetrustmewithmoneyaaaaejhakfhdfkla;

☹u ok ss☹

really? unicode, at a time like this? @--Λ-@

I'm fine I'm normal I'm fine I'm normal I'm not talking to myself this is just comedically being very silly and mean to myself on the internet, a totally sane thing to do yup. Anyway point is that dictionary's totally still gonna be there whenever we're in a better position to get it. That, and this Convention Of The Inner Symposium is getting wildly out of hand and also that's not an obscenely pretentious name shut up

hahahhaahahhahah wow that was really funny wasn't it folks. ha. ha.i'm drunker now! and it's 7:40 am now! and my extremities are really numb tingly! and i was super absurdly fucking hot but now i'm comfortably cool so that's nice. This is the best part of drinking! that's definitely a fine healthy and not weird thing to think about alcohol!

[anotherpapercut]

Genuine question re: your last post about wearing a blondie t-shirt and coke in your nose. How can you do cocaine and not be addicted? I thought it was super addictive? Also doesn't weed and coke cancel each other out? You don't have to answer if you don't want to!

hey bud! no worries I am always happy to answer questions! so the short answer to both of these is pretty much no. but I'm also gonna give you the long answers if ur interested!

coke of course CAN be addictive, I personally am friends with a couple people who were addicted to coke at one point, but it's actually far less addictive than many other drugs prescription or not and it's of course dependant on the person. for instance, many people may find prescription anxiety medications like Xanax to be more addictive, and addiction to drugs in that class (benzodiazapine) are actually really dangerous, but many people are able to use these safely as well. it's also a pretty safe drug to take, provided it's pure, you are taking proper doses and you're not doing it all the time. I personally have only had it a few times because I barely feel anything with it due to chronic fatigue and stuff lol. and I know lots of other people who've tried it at clubs or parties and never really thought about it again!

basically, if like it's something you're interested in trying, be cautious as with any drug prescription or not. make sure it's from a reputable source, test it (for impurities) if you're not 100% sure it's been tested by someone you trust, research the proper doses and interactions with any other drugs (again prescription or not) that you are taking, and do it with a person you trust in a familiar environment. if you're prone to addictions then it might be something you want to skip, but again it's actually not quite as addictive as a lot of other drugs so if you're being safe with it it's a lot easier to step back from (this is based on experience my friends have had, I personally have never experienced any type of craving or addictive feeling with cocaine!)

second question: I have actually never heard this before lol! I'm guessing this is based on the fact that cocaine, like other amphetamines, is an "upper" while weed is a "downer". there aren't very many drugs that straight up negate each other (altho there are some! SSRIs like Zoloft will make MDMA and LSD pretty much entirely ineffective!) like that, it's more just that they change each other. so first of all the coke residue is actually from last night lol so it's not still affecting me, but when I did take it, it made me feel more awake and alert like caffeine would. while weed has a relaxing and sometimes sedating effect, the coke balanced that part out, and amplified the more stereotypical effects like laughing and talking (weed makes me talk A LOT lol) because of the added energy. generally mixing drugs with opposite effects will work like this. mixing weed and alcohol for instance is a really popular combination (often referred to as a "crossfade") because of how the weed will counteract the nausea and often like jitteriness and stuff associated with alcohol

I know this was a long as hell answer but I hope this helped to clear up your questions! feel free to ask me any other drug related questions, I'm always happy to research anything I don't already know :)

edit: was doing some research bc this question interested me and came across this like. suppressed 1995 study from the WHO kdbdksndn???????? do with this article what you will I suppose

[ks-caster]

So I'm taking a T-break from caffeine. I don't even feel like it keeps me awake anymore, so I weaned off and I'm trying ashwaganda for a few weeks. Minimally I'm hoping that when I get back ON caffeine I'll find it more effective, because I am tired ALL the time. Ideally I'd love it if ashwaganda does what it says on the tin. But I'm the here and now, I've had a raging headache all day.

Now, caffeine withdrawal is like... The opposite of dehydration. Caffeine dehydrates you and makes the blood vessels in your brain shrink up. When the caffeine leaves your system, the blood vessels swell back up again and the pressure causes a headache. I've been super-hydrating lately because I've been donating plasma, so even though I've weaned off somewhat slowly over a couple of days, I've still had a raging headache today.

I got home, had 2 alcoholic beverages, and my headache went away (I figured if caffeine and alcohol both dehydrate me then one should ease the withdrawal of the other, and it worked).

I had watched a TikTok earlier today where an office lady was asking the office at large for drugs, and specified downers (depressants) instead of uppers (stimulants).

That mixed in my brain with the fact that I used one substance to ease withdrawal symptoms of another, and there is a weird horror rising in me about the fact that stimulants have a history of being super acceptable in American culture (see for reference: cocaine used to be in everything, the history of child actors, notably in my mind Judy Garland, becoming addicts because her managers would give her "something to stay awake" and the fact that a caffeine isn't considered a drug in modern society even though it technically is) while depressants such as alcohol and weed are frowned upon.

This coincidences eerily with puritanical values of hard work over everything and the conflations of a person's value with their contributions to capitalism.

We accept the use of stimulants over depressants, because culturally we value productivity over rest.

[album-a-day-project]

7/22/23

Burial, Kode9

Infirmary / Unknown Summer

====

Just a two track EP. Hearing alot of juxtaposition from the two artists. It fails to really do anything to move the needle with me. Burial likes to really slow this whole thing down while Kode9 tends to speed things up. Feels like I mixed uppers and downers again and I don't like it.

4/10

[stealth-liberal]

The idiots in the notes catastrophizing about mixing alcohol with coffee because "uppers and downers together will kill you!!!" These people CLEARLY do not know about all the coffee based drinks out there (and the coco and tea based ones too) that have killed no one. People have been mixing caffeine and alcohol together for forever.

You'll be fine if you drink this... well... once it's been portioned out as individual servings that is. If this was for a party, he wouldn't have combined the two together. It would be an assemble it yourself drink with the bowl of whipped creme on the side.

The whole don't mix uppers and downers is for dumb choices like doing cocaine and heroin together.

hope this uploads i need you guys to see this potion

[lemonsilly]

omg okay so i kind of play it a little differently but i love that

i have him prone to obsession and paranoia (me projecting my ocd onto him like any reasonable person) where everything has to be fucking PERFECT. he works the cameras, the lights, directs, produces, builds the sets, mixes the sound, EVERYTHING but the acting. painstaking work. and maintaining an appearance? it's calculated, obsessed with his image while also sometimes sincerely hating that people know who he is

like the "maybe i don't wanna be the knight of time, what if i wanna be the dave of guy" thing.

however people are trying to Kill Him and he needs to not give the game away and he needs to get it right or else the world will end but he kind of knows it's not going to work out because of the whole, aw shit something's wrong feeling that RL probably gets as a seer like how the sufferer remembered what was up

and sometimes it gets Bad. checking the locks, peeking through the curtains. putting chairs behind the door. so while he spends his time outside recreationally lying to the press inside he's freaking the Fuck out. recently i kinda developed a thing where instead of uppers i put him on downers like a 50s housewife because how is he supposed to chill out let alone sleep when he's convinced someone is outside his home. yunno, xanax and klonopin, the good stuff. i don't always write it like that, or i have it as a past problem or a managed issue, but i've been playing around with the idea lately.

-KD

so like basically he cares a lot which is good except for the times when he cares too much and gets lost in the big feelings he's never figured out how to properly express so he's on edge literally all the time and sometimes it gets ugly yunno

-KD

----

G0D YESSSSS YOU GET ITTT

i really love that no matter what interpretation, alpha dave is always somehow fucking neurotic and on some kind of drugs like YES thats exactly how its supposed to be!

i also project my OCD onto this man so hardcore, but i mainly think hes more Obsession based than compulsion, but maybe thats also cuz how i am as well HGKLJAHGJKAG im kinda in the same boat where hes also like insane abt how his movies and appearances look as well but i think how ours kinda shows it varies and thats so fun i love it!!

i can imagine ppl on set kinda get like on edge when hes there, like theyll be halfway through a scene and he gets up from his directors seat and is like "no no the lightings all off" while smoking a cigarette. like hes always antsy and there is always SOMETHING. and then he moves the light fixture like 3 inches to the left. and then he sits down, "action", then right before the actors abt to say their line he cuts it and is like "god, no, stop, who the hell left their waterbottle on set?" and then makes it a little bit of a Thing.

slenderman aside i think its kind of like ... if youve ever watched marble hornets, and that one tape where alex is tweaking the fuck out w/ tim and the other two actors ? kinda like that but on a bigger scale and theres no real threat its just dave being on edge

[destineeallison]

Random things I wrote between 2007 and 2016

Originally Re-Posted on Facebook on Various dates.

Dreams and aspirations, serve only to torture.

-

I live my life on a canvas; each day as another little stroke of the brush, adding up to the final big picture. Color and full of highlights, in all of my finer moments and dark shadows, for the moments I fell short.

There's emotion to every work of art What does this life convey? A deeper meaning behind every success, failure, and missed opportunity.

-

We live like notes bending and folding over the musical scale I am the high while you stay low

We live like melodies surrounding each other.

We are the music, everyday we change.

We fit a mood set by our minds and actions.

We feel the way our sounds do.

Embrace the beauty within us as one.

Put us in motion and we are forever changing, forever progressing, forever fitting.

Put us together and we drift, sway, and hiccup along these scales we call our homes.

While filling the empty sounds, we follow the leads of the metronome.

Silence cannot break us, Silence is our enemy in this war we call a song. Every sound in our ensemble, perfect together as one,

The rhythm we follow is what will hold us together, if we act as one, folding and bending over our shared scale.

-

What if every morning we woke up as a new person, knowing the past, of who we've become. What if every morning we woke up with new emotions, forgetting the ones that haunt us from where we once came.

Right outside the sounds are empty, and time is moving slowly. I'm anxious for something to come and sweep me away. Taking me to a new place, full of sounds, and actions. A place where the next step is always right around the corner.

-

We're one big play on words game. You tell me yours, and I'll recite back mine. We coincide so well, our words mixing together as opposites attracting. In one Idea, that I want you, and you want me, gone.

Reality is not a dream, and dreams are not real. So why do we live reality as getting everything we "dream" of, setting high expectations for ourselves, only to fall short in the end. We know that things never go as we plan, completely. Yet, we still live within our dreaming mentality.

-

It's amazing how someone can look so calm and peaceful on the outside, but you'd never guess the chaos and chemicals raging in their body. I guess you just have to look for the signs hidden in their eyes.

-

Inner-peace, happiness, self-love, selfless love, self-respect, serenity, a positive attitude and an open mind are necessary, and they all start and end with you.

Attain what you can for the benefit of yourself. Money and material won't make you feel rich, just momentarily privileged.

-

Happiness depends upon ourselves.

Dependency is nothing but a burden.

Make your own choices,

Do things that take courage.

You won't find happiness, sitting at home, wishing your life was better.

-

I'd take your breath away,

but I don't want to watch you suffocate.

I'm here to lift you up,

I'll breathe in the life you're missing.

-

The only one not going,

Family members always hospitalized, I thought it was another scare.

Quickly I learned that it's real you're unconscious, and because of the timing I can't be there.

I hope you know I love you. happy birthday bitch, it's life, I called to say what's up, letting you know you're brothers suffering and sometime this week hell be laying in a coffin.

Alcohol weed pills uppers downers we can try to numb the pain but one day when we're at work hiding from reality we'll turn around and catch her sucker punch to the face. She'll hit you so hard you lose your breath and no matter how hard you try you'll lack any ability to control how hard you cry . She'll take your life your pride your family, have you selling your soul. Anything to keep hold of the heart hardly beating.

I'm sorry, but The pain I feel isn't even that you're gone, it's the pain that your death left with mom.

She said she's feeling empty. it's untouchable And I have no control over her emotions. it's eating my inside that all she wants is to see her little boy alive. Death takes a toll and it's collecting on our mother, 60 years old, outliving her mother, son, and younger brother.

I visited the house we grew up in today. Seems like just yesterday you were helping take care of us. Look what became of is, siblings that never speak, holding on to grudges because of silly things, and our stubbornness to accept help when we need it the most. I know you lost hope. I saw it in the house, the cement floors and holes in the walls frank, why didn't you call? Any of us, we're family, I hate myself for turning down my mom sending me out here. I hate that I let you live alone, you were barely surviving, not living a life but making it by till you died. I feel infested, and not from the roaches, but the feelings I can't even bear to lock into. Frank, I love you, and I hope that you're in a better place, of peace and grace. As we lay you to rest our family will do their best to say their goodbyes one last time, just know that you will never be forgotten. Rest in peace, big brother.

I felt I couldn't cry till I saw your children walk in the chapel to witness the tree fallen that once held the apple. As the tears stream down the face of our mother, I can't help but notice laying in that casket is not a man I know as my brother.

Over the years, as we may have grown apart, our siblings grow old with each time the sky gets dark. It's not a matter of I love you, or the anger we've all felt, but the times that we need each other, we're there, still kids in our minds forever avoiding life's belt.

-

Don't jump so fast to clench another by the throat if your judgments impaired, leaving you unaware of intent. Listen to the words and view cues within how the body language curves before you fire back with your anger.

-

I hate the need to explain, when the understanding isn't there.

Why waste my time dumbing it down?

I know you're locked in on a blank stare.

-

[nightmaretour]

How many times do I have to tell myself? No caffeine when you're on... fuck I don't know how many medications I'm on that are depressants anymore. If I have learned anything in life it's that you do not mix uppers and downers

[cherokeefrank]

Mixing uppers and downers is a dangerous thing people, don't do it.

[choochoomotherslagger]

M!A gift: space weed obtained!

... do i look like a dude that needs to relax

i’m barely awake now