#don't get me wrong i love puzzles
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it's so obvious that most of these dudebros that hate the ironwood section are racists 🤷🏻♀️ and don't even start with "but the pacing.." when it's not even the "slowest" part of the game (and has, actually, plenty of action)
#angrboda was being hated on even before the game's release#and it doesn't help that most of the people who complain about the section are incels and dudebros#they really be talking shit about ironwood when the first mission to svartalfheim exists#don't get me wrong i love puzzles#but why are the svartalfheim ones so BORING#anyways you can definitely like them but i just think it's kinda repetitive and boring 🫶🏻#gow#god of war#angrboda#atreus
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Jou's duel with Keith is really like... looking through a mirror darkly. They both use gambling cards. Keith is American, Jou is likely half (given his naturally blond hair). Keith at one point talks about being in such a dark place that you have to learn to enjoy being horrible just to survive it, and Jou was in a gang where he did the exact same thing.
Basically the duel is so interesting to me because Keith is kind of a What Could Have Been (negative) for Jou if he hadn't become friends with Yugi, and the parallels are delightful.
#and they both punch people#hell yeah#in the manga the differences are even better because Jou can demonstrably beat Keith in a fight and DECIDES to win a duel instead#whereas Keith steals and cheats and hits and pulls guns#and Jou STARTED like that#with stealing the puzzle piece#with settling arguments by punching people#don't get me wrong as I've said I love punching#but the fact that unlike in the anime (where they wimpified my boy) Jou COULD have just punched him#he decides to stick to the rules instead#even though it gives Keith (a professional duelist) the advantage#jounouchi katsuya is so cool#jounouchi katsuya#joey wheeler#yugioh rewatch#yugioh#ygo dm#ygo#bandit keith
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Why tf Mickey Mouse is here 😭?
#help???#bye it would be so funny if he should up for no reason#smg4#smg4 mr puzzles#mickey mouse#???#i love mickey don't get me wrong but like- asdfghjk??
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Listen, I may forget every single detail of every media I consume, HOWEVER, I JUST SPENT 4 HOURS STRAIGHT (I'm not kidding) MAKING A MAP OF HOW A PUZZLE IN SALLY FACE COULD BE PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE.
It's just a kind of maze but in first person. You have to go into some arches in the correct order to get to the final room. Did the creator create a physical map of this maze? I DON'T THINK SO, BECAUSE THE ARCHES DON'T MAKE FUCKING SENSE.
BUT AFTER FOUR FRICKING HOURS I HAVE MANAGED TO CREATE A POSSIBLE SOLUTION, maybe not a solution an architect would have chosen to do from scratch, BUT A PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE SOLUTION.
AND I PLAN TO, SOME DAY, MAKE THIS IN 3D TO SEE IF I'M FUCKING RIGHT OR JUST REALLY REALLY TIRED AFTER SQUEEZING MY BRAIN FOR 4 FUCKING HOURS TO DO THIS SHIT.
#sally face#i am loosing my mind#who made me do this seriously like#what part of my brained looked at a puzzle i didn't like and went “sure#let's make a 3D model plan for this shit“#you know?#I am so tired rn#I have my final exam of the year tomorrow and this is what I am doing just some hours before it#also i am replaying Sally Face and it's GREAT I LOVE IT I LOVE IT I LOVE IT IT'#it's going to make me cry so hard again I just know it#last time i couldn't get over it even a little until several years later#why do i do this to myself#sal fisher#larry johnson#steve gabry#if there is something wrong with my writting here don't you dare to point it out my brain is melting rn i just burnt it
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youtube
There is no vs. Eve full boss fight music without the rock part so I did it myself. It's a combo of Enter Eve + intro + vs. Eve
Simple editing since I came for the OST and finally having it on my playlist.
#don't get me wrong. i love bbj's rock alternative ver#just connecting stuff like puzzle pieces#no straight roads eve#nsr eve#nsr#no straight roads#i have to create nsr fanarts...#the game is so underrated and i need people to try it#Youtube
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Silly Game Time: Are you a fan of the mystery/detective genre? If so, what's a story of that genre (movie, show, book, game, etc.) you really like, and why?
It could be a more dramatic one, a more comedic one, a cross-genre one (fantasy or sci-fi or romance or western, etc.) so long as the main focus of the plot is the mystery to unravel!
Don't get me wrong, I think I've consumed a handful of mystery media, however, the likes are very reduced in this case because sometimes I'm in a very weird spot between "I just want to be silly"✨ and "I'll take this seriously" and then there's also the issue that many times I end up knowing the answers in sheer gut feeling.
That said-
I really love some of Shu Takumi's works because they're a perfect mix for me and even in these times when I go "Oh, I totally know the answer" it's just so fun seeing everything go down because it's funny.
My faves are videogames done by this man, the examples:
Professor Layton
Ace Attorney
And Ghost Trick!
THANKS!:D
#I love these games so muchhhhh dhbsdhbshdbshd#I'm playing the Apollo Justice Trilogy rn since I never got the chance before:D#And I'm so hyped for Professor Layton's new release jsdnjsdnjsdn#Idc if people correct me and tell me they're puzzle#PUZZLE AND MYSTERY COEXIST PERFECTLY#THE STORIES ARE SO GOOOODDDDDDDDD#Tho ngl I Ace Attoney mostly because of the silly and the gay#I love my gay lawyers visual novel#A fun story!#Back when I was still with my now ex...#They wanted me to watch Persona 4's anime because they were SURE I wouldn't get the culprit right#and I figured out the culprit basically the moment they stepped in#And they were so MAD#And they kept trying to persuade me into NOT thinking it was the right answer#But I had my eye in them and at every action I WAS JUDGING like “IT SRSLY WOULDN'T MAKE SENSE IF IT WASN'T THEM. IT'S THEM”#Don't get me wrong I was still giving the benefit of doubt at the side (maybe mostly to not make the ex upset) but I WAS SURE IT WAS THEM#Who would win? Mansplain manipulative manslaughter OR-?#One silly Ace Attorney enjoyer?
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death note is wild bc homeboys will be like "this manga is so deep, the author thought about everything SO MUCH, the story is EXCELLENTLY constructed, i have never thought so deeply about the nature of good and evil" and then u read it and like 95% of the time it's full police procedural
#which don't get me wrong is GOOD#i love death note#the author very clearly put a lot of time and effort into all of the little problems and puzzles#but the thematic stuff is like. not well developed#it's not that it's not THERE and it's pretty easy to extrapolate but it's also like#very clear the thematic stuff is not what the author took joy in producing u feel me fjdkalfjdksafsl
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btw. i loathe whoever made 'milf' a thing outside of the us bc the other day i had to explain what that means to my non-english speaking mother. imagine how that went
#and don't get me wrong. huge fan of milfs myself. love them#but c'mon#she was still a bit confused but thank god she didn't ask too many more questions. she was just puzzled by the grammar of it all#i did translate it verbatim and didn't add a lot of context but. can you blame me#she also didn't need to know. she was just curious because she does tshirts and someone wanted a tshirt that said 'future milf'#at least she doesn't know about dilfs#cami.txt
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Working on a fucking SW fic instead of my mountains of Batman/DC WIPs, the fuck is wrong with me.
#dreamer talks#writing fanfic#i still love sw don't get me wrong#just puzzled as to why#i can't write shit for my current hyperfixation#something is going on with my brain today i swear
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Oh. it just clicked why so many newer vivisection fics (including ones that happen offscreen) bother me. it's because they always happen post-reveal, where Maddie & Jack know that it's Danny & are doing it anyways (out of character). older ones (like. the ones that got the trend going) always had the reveal happen either during the vivisection for max angst or after if the author leaned more towards a chaptered fic with character & emotional development (all in character). Hm
#refusing to interact with canon & instead playing a game of fanon telephone has struck again#i feel like this is the result of seeing something get popular & loving it yourself even but completely misunderstanding why#this is mostly a writing gripe for me cuz like. the rgw->viv plotline has so many characterization & logistical issues that trip people up#it's not the character development or the plot. it's the vivisection. so it doesn't matter how it happens or how ooc it is right?#WRONG!! WE LIKE VIVIFICS BECAUSE OF THE STUFF YOU'RE IGNORING!!!#this is entirely a writing gripe for me because the rgw->viv plotline creates so many characterization issues that regularly trip people#wouldn't it just be easier to like. just not have a reveal. so you don't have to juggle all that#a good way to get around this is to just have to GIW do it or again just not have a reveal with his parents#but i guess that's not instantly gratifying enough#sorry if im coming across as aggressive im just completely fucking confused why yes viv no reveal plot is basically nonexistent#it's like. Right There. why does it have to be a reveal gone wrong every time#it's not even a ''they don't believe it's actually Danny'' rgw it's just. they decide to vivisect Danny.#for seemingly no reason other than ''let's take a look inside''#im mostly just frustrated that there seems to be no brainstorming or editing or even drafting going on#you guys just write an alpha version of the first draft & publish that. insane behaviour to me#to be clear i mean like. you wouldn't get into that thing where you don't know how to continue & end up going on hiatus for a year#to puzzle it out & then probably never end up finishing it#if you just like. took a minute to at least mostly finish the first draft do a second draft#wouldn't it just be easier to not have a reveal at all so you don't have to juggle all that
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Poetry is fun, because I'm able to express my feelings in pretty and unique ways and really just have fun with my quite depressing thoughts that normally just dwell in my mind. That doesn't mean that my poetry is good. oh. no. quite the opposite! it's dreadful. the worst stuff I've ever laid eyes on and it's never seeing the light of day, but I love it. It's a distilled part of me. which is weird to say but its true. like i just ripped a junk of my brain, or well, my thoughts, out and slapped them onto a page.
like, if you haven't already, just try writing poetry! don't worry about all the structures, rhyme schemes, and whatever else, you don't need to have all that (you can always play around with more complicated stuff later). I just find it kind of therapeutic to be able to write down my thoughts in a way like that, and I feel like I'm being intelligent while doing it, because I'm writing poetry!
idk, I'm not exactly sure where I was going with this, but I just feel like poetry is something that isn't talked about enough, and is an art form that kind of feels like there a wall in front of? like, people draw or paint or play music all the time, but I just weirdly don't really hear about people writing poetry. which is shame, because poetry is just so cool!!
#I just find it so fun to write poetry! writing with all the rules and stuff that people tend to think poetry needs to have#can definitely be daunting to a person who hasn't really written poetry before but you don't need all that!#you can break rules! you can explore! you can write bad poetry! and you can enjoy doing that!#just. go write bad poetry! thrive in horrors of the poetic medium that you have concocted! and as you write more#you'll get better and get the hang of it more. words will flow more easily and these daunting rules and structures appear more like#puzzles or challenges that you have to solve to say what you want to say while still staying within the rules of the structure.#which is just very fun. it's just fun. idk. i think school might have given poetry a bad reputation because it really doesn't have to be so#complicated and formal as the stuff that they make you read in school is. and like. don't get me wrong. i do love poetry like that#i just don't really think that that should be how we introduce the medium of poetry and i don't think that we should read poetry in that wa#anyways yeah. that all :)#evee posts#poetry#writing
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corinthianism's fic recs
here are my personal favorite fanfics! idk how often i'll update this, but i hope you like them as much as i do :) *indicates smut
last updated: march 26, 2024
MARVEL
loki laufeyson - from the void, with love — by whirlybirbs (my fav fanfic of all time!!! i think about this fic several times in a day bro) - riptide — by starks-hero - the tailor* (series) — by birdofhermes (ao3) - time after time (series) — by goldencherriess (ao3) - a friend from work — by cozy_the_overlord (ao3)
thor odinson - god of fertility* (request) — by charnelhouse - highway don't care (but i do, i do)* (part one, part two, part three) — by spacelabrathor
peter parker (andrew garfield) - agree to disagree — by delicate-dorothea - nerdy peter (request) — by webslingingslasher - good boy x bad girl trope (request) — by webslingingslasher - hold you here, my loveliest friend* — by p3mybeloved - your friendly neighborhood sensitive spider* — by jin0 - glad you're home — by withahappyrefrain - the mechanics of a soul — by irndad - 3 is the magic number* — by withahappyrefrain - crush — by ptersparkers - as it goes — by forever-rogue - here comes the sun (part one, part two, part three) — by withahappyrefrain - stability, reciprocity, and a romance for the ages (series) — by privateanxieties (ao3 - need an account to read)
steven grant (moon knight) - hold me close — by stormkobra-5 - gift of min* — by astroboots - puzzles* — by stormkobra-5 - first time* — by luvpedropascal - domestic adonis* — by peterman-spideyparker - where it starts — by silversweetpea - fallen from heaven, grown on earth* (series) — by davosmymaster (ao3) - call me poe* — by kittyfandom (ao3) - elemental — by batsingotham (ao3) - the boy with the thorn in his side — by eating_flowers (ao3)
marc spector (moon knight) - not him — by loud-mouth-loser - it's worth it, it's divine* — by the-archxr - i'm getting to know someone — by davosmymaster (ao3)
wade wilson (deadpool) - tea and sympathy (series) — by bucketsoffrogs (ao3)
SHERLOCK (BBC)
sherlock holmes - your hidden strength — by okay-j-hannah - sublime dexterity* (part one, part two) — by daydreamtofiction - literally everything by starks-hero
SUPERNATURAL
sam winchester - playing house (part one, part two) — by uncouth-the-fifth - baby i'll stay (heaven can wait) — by uncouth-the-fifth - move over.* — by ggwritesstuff - where's your head at?* — by beau55515 - birthdays: sam winchester style* — by karleekarma (ao3) - the comforts of home — by zepskies - under the hood* — by shawslut
dean winchester - whether you like it or not — by kbeautimous (ao3) - reading you wrong — by zepskies - cherished — by thatonewriter15 (ao3) - soft touch — by wearywinchester - i love her, that's why* — by kaleldobrev - drivin' me crazy* — by lis-likes-fics
castiel - salt n' lick* — by aperfectgrace (ao3) - a bite of apple pie (series) — by ac_deanc (ao3)
THE SANDMAN
the corinthian - bring me a dream* (series, ongoing) — by placeinthemiddleofnowhere - nihil — by lis-likes-fics
dream/morpheus - sweet dreams (are made of this) — by stranger-nightmare
CRIMINAL MINDS
aaron hotchner - from eden — by heliotropehotch - gold star — by honeypiehotchner - love, an abstract concept — by luveline - honeymoon phase* (series) — by hotchsbitch (ao3)
THE BOYS
soldier boy (he's absolutely horrible but so. so. hot.) - break me down* (series) — by zepskies (go read their other stuff too!) - talk to me — by zepskies
homelander (also absolutely horrible. would sleep with him.) - if i can't have you — by watchstarscollide - milky white* — by after-witch
GAME OF THRONES
jaime lannister - i'm not made by design — by ichorai (this legitimately changed my brain chemistry)
STAR WARS
obi-wan kenobi - like turning on the light* — by full-time-make-believer (deactivated acc) (this also changed the trajectory of my life) - where it wasn't* — by 221bshrlocked - your thoughts are loud — by spidersbane - empty me out* — by 221bshrlocked - house of memories* (series) — by meshlasolus - bad idea, right?* (series) — by mischiefling (ao3) - you make me feel like dancing — by saradika (ao3) - it's a wonderful lie — by firstofficerwiggles (ao3) - temptation's kiss — by karasong (ao3) - you make my dreams* — by wickedscribbles (ao3) - like a living mirage — by karasong (ao3) - broken drought* — by rosalindbeatrice (ao3) - never grow up — by doihavetoloseyoutoo (ao3) - never ending story — by kybercrystal (ao3) - volveré* — by kxnobi (ao3)
din djarin (the mandalorian) - the savior* (part one, part two, part three) — by dindjiarin - significant — by softlyspector - touching din — by archieimagines - uncharted territory* — by pedrito-friskito - creed* — by wheresarizona - home is wherever i'm with you* (part one, part two, part three) — by saradika
DRACULA (BBC)
count dracula - the székely* (series) — by theplumsoldier
LOTR/THE HOBBIT
thranduil oropherion - a boon* (series) — by inksplots (ao3) - beauty and the beast (series) — by tamurilofrivendell (ao3)
DOCTOR SLEEP
dan torrance - of monsters and men* — by helaintoloki & obitwo - domestic life (headcanons) — by thornsinmycrown - smut alphabet* — by daincrediblegg
#corinthianism fic rec#fanfic rec#tasm peter parker x reader#steven grant x reader#marc spector x reader#loki x reader#thor x reader#sam winchester x reader#dean winchester x reader#castiel x reader#the corinthian x reader#soldier boy x reader#homelander x reader#thranduil x reader#dracula x reader#jaime lannister x reader#aaron hotchner x reader#deadpool x reader#sherlock holmes x reader#supernatural#obi wan kenobi x reader#dan torrance x reader#star wars fanfic#reader insert#x reader
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itoshi sae has no idea how you do it.
classwork, homework, midterms, exams, two jobs, and a lively group of friends? it all sounds so unnecessary to him, these things that would be distractions from his dream. but for you, it sustains you and encourages you to keep going. how differently our minds work, he thinks to himself when he has a rare day to spend on your couch and you're typing away at some assignment on your laptop.
"why do you do that?" you don't respond the first time he asks and he gently calls your name, even though you're barely three feet away. you turn to him with a tired look and something pangs inside his chest. "why bother doing that?"
"bother doing what?"
"whatever it is you're doing right now." he nods at your glaring laptop screen filled with words he can't even begin to understand, some final before your university goes on winter break.
"because it's part of my degree?" there's no malice in your words, just genuine confusion, just like there's no accusations in his words, just concern. "if i fail this class, i don't graduate."
"why do you need to graduate, or have a degree in the first place?"
"because i need a job, my love," you explain patiently. "we've had this conversation before. going to school means i can get a well-paying job to sustain myself."
"why do you need to sustain yourself when you have me?" you blink at him and his blank face. the only sign of emotion is the slight pinch between his eyebrows; he was truly puzzled why he couldn't just set you up for life. dating itoshi sae is like being an unwilling sugar baby.
"i'm not going to leech off your earnings," you chuckle in disbelief. "i'm not going to use you to make sure i have a comfortable life. i love you, and my kind of love stays whether we have money or not." he shifts awkwardly in his seat and his mouth pouts the tiniest amount. he obviously didn't like your reply.
"whatever i'm doing, it isn't enough for you," he states quietly.
without another word, you exhale through your nose and shut your laptop. you place it on the coffee table before crawling over and maneuvering your way into his arms. he gladly accepts you, sliding down the couch's armrest so that you're nearly lying on top of him. it's quiet for a few moments, not in an uncertain way but in a way that said both of you were figuring out how to articulate your thoughts.
"i just think that--"
"you don't need to--" you both begin your explanations at the same time and the huff of his laugh vibrates against your cheek. "you go first," you tell him.
"i was saying that, if you wanted me to," he inhales and tries to tiptoe around what he wants to say before deciding to just crush it with his foot, "i can take care of you without you needing a degree." a certain selfish part of him wanted you there for every single victory and ladder rung he ascended, not because he thought you owed him, but because he owed you. you, who weathered his darkest of moods and harshest of snaps. he owed you for dealing with his bullshit, so he figured, why should you need to lift a finger when you've already done so much for him? "i owe you that much for everything that you've seen me through."
"you don't owe me anything, itoshi sae. loving you is not transactional, nor have i ever wanted it to be."
"everything is transactional, mi amor," he argues and the pet name makes your heartrate increase. "give and take, it's how the world flows. shouldn't your university classes be teaching you that?" your eyes have fluttered shut on his chest, but you still hear the smirk in his joke.
"believe it or not, mister 'fame is the only thing that matters to me,' there are transactions beyond material goods."
"i know that," he says indignantly. "i also know that you're wrong."
"am i?"
"yes," he affirms. "i don't only care about fame. i care about you too, obviously."
"see, sae? give and take. i give you all i am--"
"and you take all i am."
"body and soul?"
"and everything in between," he finishes, pressing a kiss to the top of your head before settling into the pillows. "rest, mi amor. you've paid more attention to school than to me lately, and that's an unequal transaction."
#sae itoshi x reader#sae itoshi x you#sae itoshi x y/n#itoshi sae x you#itoshi sae x reader#itoshi sae x y/n#blue lock x you#blue lock x reader#blue lock x y/n#bllk x you#bllk x reader#bllk x y/n#bllk fluff#bllk imagine
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can you pls write something about reader being sick and like not the cough and cold kind of sick- like really really sick, and sukuna realising how much he doesn't want to lose her to this sickness and how if she dies, he'll be alone again..🥺
You have NO idea how much I love this idea!!! I did go a bit overboard with it cause I love suffering though 👍 Still, this was SO much fun to write and I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!
Vows
Sukuna x Reader
Word count: 4.5k
Tags/warnings: gn! reader, true form! sukuna, master/pet dynamic, fluff but most importantly ANGST, mentions of weight loss, mentions of violence, implied nsfw, reader dies in the end :( (sorry)
It's not the first time Sukuna has been made aware of your mortality. He recalls many instances when he's been reminded that you are human. Finite. The first time he wrapped his hand around your throat and squeezed with calculation while you were laying under him, and you looked up at him in fear for your life. Your little hand couldn't even wrap around his wrist, much less provide resistance. Or when he'd pull your hair a little too roughly, and hear a crack in your delicate spine. When you'd get sick, and humbly refuse his healing. So little as a tummy ache had you writhing on your bed.
You are so weak, so small, clinging to life like there was anything for you in it, beyond Sukuna. By all means he hates all of these things. So what witchery is this, and why does he care about you so much? Why does he keep you for years, and why does your company bring him comfort he hasn't ever known in his lifetime?
Still, as much as he cares, he doesn't notice when it starts. He's trained you to tolerate pain, after all. It's no wonder you hesitate to tell him. Little things like tummyaches and colds occur to you all the time anyways, and you never complain. Sure, you've grown closer to Sukuna, but he was still your master, and the rules he instilled in you from the start were always fresh in your mind, not to be crossed. Bothering him with everything that feels off always seemed inappropriate.
And Sukuna is just like that. If you're not screaming or crying, he won't know you're in pain. But he notices that you're acting off. And how he reacts really doesn't help your case, or encourage you to speak up about your condition. ''I don't have all day. What is wrong with you?'', he sneers when he catches you pacing too far behind him.
So you just sleep longer and preserve energy for when you are with him. You don't skip around as much anymore, or spend time doing your hobbies. Food doesn't taste so great anymore. You have a cough that gives you sleepless nights because it just won't calm down. And the time you owe Sukuna starts to feel like an obligation. You start to dread it. Dread slipping up, dread annoying him or failing to satisfy him. Dread being disposable.
When things start getting worse, it's hard to hide it even from him. He was taking you from behind one night, and you were grateful he couldn't see the look on your face. You thought you could do it. Sukuna was always demanding, but he would never force you to do anything. If only you told him before you felt yourself struggling for air, and your chest closing in on itself in tightness. You reached one hand back, frantically grabbing his wrist.
''Feathers, feathers!'', words came out as gasps, and you slumped forward when he let you go. You were panicked and crying by then, this kind of discomfort being foreign even to you, even after weeks of pain behind you. He hovered next to you with a puzzled look on his face. He wasn't even being that rough.
''What's wrong? Tell me.'', he said, and reached his hand to feel the warmth of your tears streaming down your face. He swiped your cheek gently. He didn't seem mad at all. Why didn't you say anything from the start?
''I just feel so sick.'', you muster up in between sobs, and shut your eyes. You were too embarrassed to even look at him.
''I see.''. His hand leaves your face, and he traces it from your neck down your spine. The pain subsided slowly, allowing you to relax and find comfort in his arms.
But the effects of his healing were short lived. Just a week later the feeling of fatigue creeps back into your life. Manageable, but lingering. And the cough persists. And it gets on Sukuna's nerves too. He's been quite patient with you, but his patience was reaching it's limit.
You're sitting by his throne as you often do, and as hard as you try to hold the cough in, you just can't help it. His hand finds the back of your neck and squeezes, turning you to him. And he looks at you with all four, terrifying eyes. ''Can you shut up?''
''I'm sorry, I'm trying -'', you stutter, but just end up coughing more. He doesn't wait for you to stop.
''Get out of here.'', and pushes you away. You stumble down the pile of bones and fall, landing on your hands and knees. You don't remember him being this cruel to you in a long time. You look back at him with teary eyes, and he looks back like the merciless monster he is. The villagers awaiting him moved to make space for your fall, taking note of the tense situation.
That day, Sukuna sends word that he doesn't want to see you until you get better. You're forbidden from going outside again, in fear that that is making your 'cold' worse. It's a lonely week in your room, until Sukuna starts to crave you again. It didn't take him a while, counting the couple days he spent convincing himself he doesn't miss you. He does. So when he sends word for you again, and the servants come back to him saying you're still not feeling well... he's worried. So worried he comes to see it for himself.
Sukuna rarely comes to your room. It's the only space you have for yourself, and he doesn't want to take that away from you. Your room is modest. You have a bed, a carpet, and a couple shelves to house the books he's gifted you. There's a desk where you can eat and read, and a doorway to the garden. There's an empty glass of water and a napkin next to your bed. You're still sleeping, but the door shutting behind him wakes you up, so he doesn't get to enjoy observing you in your natural habitat for long.
It's not the first time doors opening and closing woke you up. But you know this time is different. The servants are always quickly shuffling around the room, cleaning up and moving around. Uraume clanks with plates. There is no noise now, other than your strained breathing and a cough brewing in the back of your throat. Besides, the aura that Sukuna brings with him everywhere he goes is recognizable. Especially to you. Heavy.
You turn around, and meet the gaze of his four eyes. ''Master...'', you struggle to sit up, and even a little action like that has spots forming in your vision. Then a coughing fit hits you. You pick up the napkin and put it to your mouth.
Sukuna sees your whole body strain with the effort of coughing. And when you call him master, even your voice sounds different. He knows your morning voice. He missed hearing it, but this... this is not it. You sit with your head hung low, staring at the napkin between your hands. There's a fresh splatter of blood on it. But Sukuna scares you more than the progression of your illness.
''Are you mad at me?'', you ask timidly, meeting his gaze.
''I'm concerned.", he says and sits next to you. You curl up to make space for him. "Two weeks is a long time for a frail human like you to be sick.", he looks at you, scanning your form up and down.
"I rested and drank every tea Uraume told me to!", your defense mechanism kicks in, and you start babbling.
Sukuna dismisses you with a hand and a pained facial expression. "I know.", he says. His brows are furrowed now, and he's looking at the ground, lost in thought.
You feel guilty for annoying him again. You feel guilty for the whole thing, getting sick, draining the energy it takes him to heal you, robbing him of the time with you that he deserves. Owns. He is very generous with the way he treats you, having all that in mind.
You tug on his sleeve. "I'm sorry, Master... You deserve better.", and you're sobbing again. Sukuna gives you a pathetic look, but smiles as he pulls you into his embrace.
"Silly pet. I can survive a couple weeks without your assistance.", he says, rubbing your shoulder.
You run your fingers against the back of his hand mindlessly, not knowing how to respond. Caressing his knuckles, bones, veins... feeling his nails and their sharp tips against your sensitive skin. When you bring his palm up to your lips, your kiss stains it red with blood.
-
You still sleep with Sukuna sometimes. Less frequently, only on days when you feel well enough, and those are rare. You've lost weight by now, sickness making itself visible on your body. You're sitting on his lap and clinging to your robes, scared that he won't like you as much, that you won't live up to his standards. But Sukuna's demeanor about your illness has changed, as he seemed to sense something unusual about it. He flips you over so gently, like you're made of glass, and peppers kisses from your neck downwards, slowly undressing you as much as you allow him. When he takes you, he's so careful. Constantly checking you're comfortable and enjoying yourself. You feel so loved and relaxed, and pleasure comes so easy when you're in this state. It's not the first time Sukuna is this caring with you in bed, but this time is different. This time you can't help but feel like he's saying goodbye.
He holds you afterwards, tracing his fingers over the ridges of your spine and your shoulders. You were always little in his grasp, but now that he feels your protruding bones under his fingertips, you seem all the more vulnerable.
"Will you kill me?", you ask, breaking the silence.
Sukuna frowns. "Nonsense. Why would I do that?"
There's a gulp in your throat. "It won't be long before I can't even do this. I won't be of any use to you then...", you say.
"Stop.", he says sternly. "There's a lot more to you than what you provide me with in bed."
You smile to yourself, but there's still a hole in your chest. Your statement is still true, and you aren't comforted. But this is Sukuna, and you know that he's offered you quite a lot even with that little bit of reassurance. To your surprise, he speaks again.
"Don't upset yourself. It's been a long time since killing you crossed my mind.", he says. "Save the energy for something else."
You nod and thank him. Just moments later, you're asleep. Quicker than ever before, he notes. You usually love it when he lets you cuddle and talk to him. You would force your eyes open when you were sleepy, just to enjoy it longer.
He feels guilty. He's your master, he's responsible for your well being. Yet nothing he does seems to help you long term. Healing you is temporary and he knows that without accessing the source, it will never work. If he could, he would find what was making you sick and rip it out of you with his bare hands, crush it with the force of his palm. He would have to look deeper, open you, and for once, he thinks he can't open a human being. He thinks of you trashing, screaming, and worst of all, looking into his eyes. Just the thought of you like that makes his chest feel like a gaping cavity. Worst of all, he's sure you would let him. He's sure you would forgive him for spilling your blood, and find comfort in his arms again. If you survived, that is. What has he done to you? And to himself?
Now, your head rests on his chest, and you're snoring lightly. For once, a repetitive noise like that doesn't annoy him. For once, he wishes he could listen to it every night. One day, that noise will be the only thing audibly confirming you're still alive.
-
Months pass and you're only getting worse. You barely leave your room now, too weak to even do so. You eat little, and it's showing in your sunken cheeks and eyes. You feel yourself withering away, loosing color, drying like a dying flower. Sukuna is in grief. He struggles to look at you, and visiting you falls heavy on him every time. He always finds himself thinking afterwards. Regretting that he let himself get this attached, wishing that he could simply forget you. But it doesn't work that way.
He goes to see you, after avoiding you for a week. He's Sukuna, he doesn't have any shame. You're sleeping, like you usually are when he comes to visit you. Your snoring is laboured, and it sounds painful. This time, the doors and the silence don't wake you up. He watches you, curled up under a stack of blankets, rising and falling with your struggles to breathe. How foolish he was, to think forgetting you would be as easy as avoiding you for days. How evil he was, trying to forget you while you are still alive under his wing, still his responsibility. Still his.
He sits next to you and leans over you, fingertips ghosting over your face. The snoring stops and you flutter your eyes open, turning in bed and feeling his body next to yours. You smirk at him, eyes adjusting to the light, and smile when you recognize him. ''Master.'', your arms wrap around his neck as you welcome him, your voice dry, but lively as you beckon him closer. ''I missed you.''.
He comes down to plant a kiss to your forehead. ''I missed you too, darling.''. Oh, the things that escape his mouth when he's alone with you. He cups your face, enjoying how much healthier you look with a smile on your face. ''Feeling any better?'', he rubs your cheek, lingering closely above your face.
You nod, but both of you know you only feel better because you saw him. Still, the little surge of happiness that brings you gives you more energy than you've had the whole week. You wiggle to the edge of the bed, making space and inviting him to join you. Sukuna lies down, hooking one arm underneath your neck and pulling you flush against him.
You wrap your arm around him and lean your head against his shoulder. He's still as big as you remember him, unfaltering in the face of your illness. It's comforting. ''You didn't visit in a while. Were you busy?'', you ask, stroking his back. ''How were your days?''
''Monotone.'', he says. ''The villagers bring remedies for you every day, and wish for you to get well.'' It's no wonder. So many times, Sukuna found himself hesitating to kill just because you were sitting on his knee, dressed in something too pretty to be splattered with blood. In the local villages, word spread that you have ''domesticated'' Sukuna. As if such a thing was possible. Or was it?
''Oh?'', you smile. ''I didn't think they would notice my absence.''. You always were supposed to be Sukuna's accessory and nothing more. Remedies and good wishes make it sound like you're more important than just a pet. So it really is that obvious...
''They did.'', he says, and lowers his head, brushing his nose against your face. ''Some took that as an opportunity to gift me new pets.''
You blink at him, a bit taken aback by his honesty. You keep smiling anyways. ''Did you take any?'', you ask, and he sees nothing but genuine curiosity in your eyes. The truth is, you've had a lot of time to think about your place in Sukuna's mansion. You knew, especially in sickness, that you were never entitled to exclusivity with him. You knew that at some point you would have to be replaced, just by the virtue of being a mortal. A human, who would age and become ugly, wrinkled and useless. You were just unlucky enough to meet this fate sooner than you should've.
Sukuna sighs, the weight of the conversation shifting to him. ''Not to bed, no.'', he says.
You're quiet while you think of what to say. You still have a habit of picking words when you're with Sukuna, but the times when he would punish you for improper formulation are far behind you. "Why not?", you settle. You hope the implication is there, that you wouldn't be so mad even if he did.
Why not? Because he thinks it might break him. Because the image of someone else in your place, under him, feels unnatural and wrong. He thinks the guilt might eat him alive. For once in centuries, someone else's needs come before Sukuna's. He is gone, so far gone. You've raised his standards, and he's not sure anyone he takes now will be able to live up to them. Besides, training a new pet to fit your mold would take years, and even then... He couldn't train someone to love him. Not like you do.
''I wouldn't want you to hold back because of me.'', you say, and he realizes he's been quiet for too long. Years ago, if you dared to imply that Sukuna would do such a thing as hold back because of you, that he cared, you would've been minced meat ready for dinner. Now, he looks down at you tenderly when you say it. Well, a tender look from Sukuna is a docile one. You've gotten used to the way that Sukuna communicates love. Subtly, innocuously.
''Worry about getting well, pet.'', he shuts down the conversation, and moves away from you, sitting back on the bed. ''Any wishes? Food? Activities?'', he asks, and feels your forehead with the back of his hand.
Food? No, but... ''I'd like you to stay, please.'', you say, and take his hand with the two of yours, feeling it up with your thumbs.
Sukuna resists the urge to roll his eyes, knowing the thought of annoying him would upset you greatly. ''That's a given. Anything else?''
You pretend to think, then just babble your favorite food. Sukuna takes your order to Uraume. But when he comes back, you're already asleep again. He waits by your side, but you don't wake, so eventually he leaves. By the evening, the plate of your favorite food remains untouched.
-
You can't leave the bed on your own anymore. Sukuna carries you outside when you're feeling good enough. You barely have the strength to latch onto him securely. Still, it's hard to slip out of the grasp of his four arms. He says you've gotten pale. You lay in his lap and bask in the sun, while he tells you about his day or reads a book out loud for you to enjoy. You wish you could talk to him more, but your voice leaves you as days of endless coughing wreck your throat. No herbs and teas ease your condition anymore. You wait for your final day.
And Sukuna doesn't know when he's given up on the idea that you might get better. But he starts spending whole days with you, leaving your side only to sleep in his bed. He tends to almost all your needs personally. You think that if you asked him to get on his knees for you, he would. He is not familiar with this ache that brews in his chest when he looks to his side and doesn't see you there. It feels violating. To be as powerful as he is, and yet completely helpless in the face of the sickness that drains you in front of his very eyes.
He plays with your thinning hair one morning, and you look at him from his lap, as adoringly as always. ''Isn't it funny?.'', you say, and he snaps out of his thoughts to look at you. ''I always imagined dying by your hand.'', you kiss his hand again, planting your dry, blue lips against his knuckles. ''Who would have thought?''.
You, you little human. You made him feel like a fool, like a coward. You made him feel powerless. Who could ever get away unscathed with making Sukuna feel like this? The thought of killing you now, even out of mercy, fills him with horror. He thinks he couldn't live carrying the burden of your death on his back. It's already hard for him as is.
When he's not with you, he withers away in his room, waiting. And when the servants finally come, and tell him you're at your last strengths, he feels as tense as he feels relieved. The servants shake in fear of his reaction, and he simply dismisses them. In a thousand years of his existence, he doesn't remember having to prepare to enter a room. His hand trembles as he brings it up to push the door open. He dreads what awaits him inside.
He expected blood, hysteria, chaos, yet there's none of it when he walks in. Just the pained noises of your breathing. A servant, your favorite, sits by your side and wipes sweat off your forehead. She talks to you in a comforting tone and pats your head gently. When he walks in the room, she lowers her head and moves to leave. It's only a second, but he sees the sad look on your face. ''Stay.'', he orders, and the servant bows and thanks him.
You move your attention to him, raising your hand to greet him weakly. He picks it up and bends down to kiss it. There's tears in your eyes as he settles into a seat next to you, and you open your mouth in an attempt to say something.
''Easy now.'', he shushes you, and helps you into his lap. You lean back, looking at him through a blur. His features appear even more doubled through the tears, and you still find his beauty mesmerizing. Your master. Your own little god and protector. Although he regrets it, you've never claimed the title of his spouse. Yet, he still stuck by your side, until parted by death. In sickness and in health.
He wipes your tears, and the mouth he conjures onto his hand kisses your forehead. One set of his hands caresses your face, the other massages the tension out of your bony shoulders. Sukuna knows how important it is for you to pass in peace. He doesn't want to curse you, or have despair turn you into a curse. "Relax now.", his voice is so soothing, as if lulling you to sleep. "It won't be long". You weep. What did an ordinary human like you do to deserve this honor? To be comforted on their death bed by a god. To be guided to death by him.
"Master.", you sob. "I'm so scared..."
Delicate touch against your skin. Sharp nails grazing your cheek ever so slightly, just barely enough to make their presence known. "Have no fear.", Sukuna looms over you like a snowdrop. "Where you go now, pain won't follow.". You speak to him a little longer. Tell him all the things you always wanted to tell him, but were scared of the consequences. Dangerous words, ones that were rarely associated with Sukuna. Love. And Sukuna is attentive, so human. Your blinking slows and you find comfort in his voice, as he returns every loving word back to you. Your pained breathing follows, and your eyelids are so heavy. But the sight of him is so hypnotizing, you wish you never had to look away. "You are so brave, my little dove. Go now, be free.". You were too good for this wretched palace anyways. The sight of him is etched in your memory as you close your eyes. "It was a pleasure to have you by my side.", you listen, feeling control over your body slip through your fingers. When you can't move, or feel his touch, you still hear his calm voice. "When you're ready, come back to me. I'll be waiting for your return.". Then everything is quiet, for you and for him. The servants cries are muffled by the sheets, where she has her head pressed by your side.
The hallways, silent except for the busy tapping of feet. Outside, the wind blows petals off of blooming flowers, leaving them bare and stranded. Autumn is here to carry you away.
Servants hold their breath when Sukuna walks by. One wrong look at him and the walls would be painted red. Just like before. Before you. And it's not long before Sukuna looks like a monster again - red eyes and a permanent frown etched on his face. Villagers bring bouquets, and lay them to the right of his throne, where you used to sit. He stares them all down, and only for a moment thinks that maybe, humans are not the scum he thought they were. But then he remembers, they only mourn you because you held him back from his destructive tendencies. Scum.
And he kills again. The first is a villager from afar, where news of your passing hasn't reached. Ripped to shreds for mentioning you. The women who screamed, their blood soaks the carpets and seeps through the wooden floor, dripping down to the cellars. He feels like himself again, unhinged, unbeatable.
Until the day is over, and he goes back to his empty room. His cold, empty bed, and the old habit of reaching for you in his sleep, only to grab nothing instead. And the crocheted figures of the two of you on his nightstand, watching him as he struggles to sleep alone. He can't bear it. So he leaves, and doesn't come back for days, weeks, months.
Smoke clouds the skies on the horizon once again, after years and years of peace and clarity. As far as the eye stretches, the world will know of Sukuna's wrath. But as thrilling as it feels to conquer again, when the village is burned and ash covers the grass on the ground, the thought of you still lingers. Your devastated eyes the first time he's killed before you. The first time he's felt guilty about his monstrous nature. When he comes back, no one's warm embrace awaits him. No one's there to brighten up his day. No amount of blood shed and villages burned replace the emptiness you left behind in his heart.
The grief settles, and sits heavy in Sukuna's chest, as he assumes position in his lonely throne again, and gazes at the row of people waiting to beg, talk, offer... bore him. Another eternity of boredom. An eternity of picking through thousands of humans, in vain hopes of finding you again. In vain hopes of recognizing you, even if it's lifetimes from now, when the last memory of your face has already faded from his mind. When generations change, and the thought of a monster like Sukuna being capable of tenderness vanishes. When the fire in his chest, ignited by love, is already a memory so distant, that recalling it feels surreal.
Maybe he will forget you by then. Maybe times will harden him again, and the idea of a pet becoming his lover will make him laugh. But for now, the thought of finding you in a crowd, taking you in his arms and never letting go, is his comfort and safe place. For now, he will wait for you. As long as it takes, like a stone, unyielding against the passing of time.
#sukuna x reader#ryomen sukuna x reader#ryomen sukuna#jjk#jjk x reader#jjk angst#jjk fluff#sukuna fluff#sukuna angst#sukuna#soft sukuna#i love bastardizing sukuna in my fics#also this is totally leading me into a part 2 w reincarnated reader#yes weve heard it a thousand times#idc it makes me happy
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favorite da2 battle lines in no particular order
i'm listening to a compilation by danaduchy on youtube rn so
literally every fenris line bcs everyone else is YELLING and he's just speaking in his regular quiet-ish voice. king what are you saying i can't HEAR YOU
except for when hawke goes down. THEN he's loudly upset.
"hawke's down! time to panic!" (isabela)
"the tame elf is down" (varric - what the fuck omg don't call fenris that)
"your pet elf has fallen" (carver - WHAT THE FUCK OMG DON'T CALL FENRIS THAT)
"that moody mage is down" (aveline)
"ugh, can someone pick up fenris please?" (merrill)
"isabela's on the ground... appropriately" (aveline - HELLO?!?!?!?)
"merrill! oh, blood mages are so dramatic" (isabela)
"aveline has fallen?" (fenris - why is this a question babe)
"they got whatshisname, the mage" (varric - i continue to believe he doesn't know anders' name until act 3)
"the dwarf has dropped a few more feet" (sebastian)
"dear varric, please learn to parry. love, your innards" (varric)
"do you have something for this, because it hurts" (carver)
"even my teeth hurt" (anders)
"i've got so many bruises now they've got names and families" (merrill)
"ugh, i have dirt in my mouth" (sebastian)
"you're going to let me walk around injured?" (carver)
"being close to death is very bad for my morale" (isabela)
sebastian describes his wounds as "oozing" or "seeping" more than once
"i know dalish are meant to be close to the earth, but we don't mean literally" (merrill)
"i'm alright, who needs kidneys anyway" (isabela)
"hawke. varric. i think this is bad." (merrill)
"stop being you and fix me up" (carver - BABY. BABY BROTHER.)
"that really gets the blood flowing" but also "i will fight and pray for forgiveness later" but also "this is much more exciting than the chantry!" (sebastian - what is wrong with you <3)
"my face is not a shield!" (hawke)
"and they say drinking doesn't solve anything" (isabela)
"haawke i can't mooove" (sebastian)
"i'm too far away, what do you want me to do? shout at them?" (isabela)
"i'd have to fly to reach! of course, i've always wanted to learn to fly" (merrill - she's literally the funniest person ever)
"alas, no" (fenris)
"my faith is my armor! my cause is my shield!" (sebastian)
"if we kill them, we get their stuff!" (isabela)
"andraste's knees, it's like herding cats!" (isabela)
"AFRAID YET?!" (anders)
"RUN! WHILE YOU CAN!" (anders - he's so loud i love him)
"another one for me! how many have you gotten, hawke?" (varric)
"ah. a shame that you're going to die, no?" (fenris)
"you. me. and an audience. that's what this is all about!" (carver)
"may the creators have mercy on you! i certainly won't." (merrill)
"destructive forces of nature, coming up!" (anders)
"suck on a fireball!" (anders)
"NEVER TAUNT A MAGE!!!" (anders)
"a thrust, now a parry" (fenris)
"i'm gonna taunt you in elvish now! durgen'len! aravel! vallaslin!" (merrill)
"hello, i'm merrill, and i'll be your distraction." (merrill)
"I'LL SHOW YOU WHY MAGES ARE FEARED!!!" (anders)
"maker please forgive your children" followed immediately by "DID YOU SEE THAT SHOT" (sebastian)
"WANT TO SEE WHAT'S UNDER THESE ROBES?!?!?!" (anders)
"I'M RIGHT HERE! HIT ME!" (isabela)
"maker, the idiocy" (bethany)
"MAKER BLESS YOUR CHILDREN IN THEIR HOUR OF NEEEED" (sebastian)
"my weapon does nothing??" (fenris - he sounds so puzzled help)
"this is SO not working" (anders)
"if the pointy sticks don't work, try the other pointy sticks" (isabela)
"ah, dear. why doesn't anyone ever want to be nice to us?" (merrill)
"is there an end to the people who hate you?" (aveline)
"looks like we've got a few more puppies to kick" (isabela - HELLO?!?)
"take a step, kill, repeat repeat repeat" (carver)
"the hate you inspire is unfortunate" (fenris)
"another twenty steps, another batch of deaths" (anders)
"nobody seems to like you. do you get used to that?" (merrill - ouch. brutal hskfjhgksdjfhg)
"i can't take credit for all of this. hawke helped a little bit" (isabela)
#i wanna know everyone's favorite lines pls tell meeee#max.txt#dragon age#dragon age 2#kirkwall squad#hawke#fenris#isabela#sebastian vael#anders#merrill#aveline#carver hawke#bethany hawke#varric tethras
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Shaken and Stirred.
I was really inspired by this fan art and was plagued by thoughts of a pathetic whiny lil meow meow 🥺 I don't drink myself, but I love the mature aesthetic of it and wanted to... write a drunken confession... to close off 2024...
… DON’T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT OTL wait no please J WORD I CAN EXPLAIN
***Content warning: Alcohol consumption, though Leona is the only one drinking. (The legal age is 20 in Japan; I’m going to assume this for Twisted Wonderland.) Everyone else is having sparkling juice :v***
Imagine this…
"Feel like joining us for dinner? For old time's sake.”
The invitation had come so casually, the same way a housecat might drop a mangled rat or bird at your feet. To them, an easy, everyday act. To you, a surprise you weren’t quite certain how to feel about.
You didn't have plans for the evening, nor a reason to refuse, and while you were busy weighing the pros and cons, you found yourself strung along in their outing. Muscular arms wrangling you into the herd, boisterous yells welcoming you back. An honorary member, the Savanaclaw students had branded you, recognized by their king.
Now you sit in a barstool, fingers on the rim of a cup clouded with condensation, absentmindedly swirling its contents. Juice, its sweetness stifled by melted ice.
Some would call you a lamb willingly waltzing into a lion's den. They're wrong. You are no beast, but a curious observer of them. This is a prime opportunity for that.
It’s dim, the glowing jellyfish set low, faint lights swimming overhead. The music is loud, a departure from the Mostro Lounge’s usual soft jazz. The bass is even louder, rattling your bones like a set of steel drums. Rowdy patrons clink cups, chant at their friends to chug, belt out laughter straight from the bellies. You can barely hear your own heartbeat. The sounds of nightlife drown it out.
Jack lurks in a quiet, shadowed corner, his back against the wall. Muscled arms folded, he has assumed a stern stance but wears a small, fond smile in spite of himself. Ruggie has climbed onto a table, raising a jet-black card to the waiting mob. It’s their golden meal ticket.
“All-you-can-eat food and drinks on Leona-san! Long live the king!!” he roars, and the others echo his excitement.
“LONG LIVE THE KING!!”
You chuckle to yourself. First he rents out the entire lounge, then he decides to feed everyone for the day? How generous of him. Guess the big guy’s going all out.
You scan the restaurant in search of him, seeking out his familiar visage. Long, wild tresses. Sharp eyes, emerald flecked with golden flakes, like the sunlight shining through verdant leaves. The scar that speared his left side. A noble aura, his lazy feline grace.
Leona Kingscholar always sticks out in a crowd, commands too much attention with his mere existence. “That man is only good for his face,” Vil would bitterly hawk, “his only redeeming feature.” And he was right, to some extent. Tall, dark, and handsome are all apt descriptors for Savanaclaw’s dorm leader. Leona is all that and more.
Your pulse quickens.
His shape—you can’t discern it from the myriad of bodies collected in the lounge. A puzzle piece missing from the box of your most treasured memories.
“Looking for someone?”
The question is low and nonchalant, almost musical in its own right, yet you can so clearly hear it rising above the bumping bass. Your blood hums in anticipation, already knowing who the voice belongs to.
Leona has slipped into the open seat beside you, nursing an Old-Fashioned filled halfway with a strongly scented amber liquid. An orb of ice chills it, so clear cut you can see through to the other side. He sits with an effortless confidence upon his throne, as though he—not Azul—owns the damn place. You'd believe it too, from how the patrons are shouting his name like a mantra.
There’s no greetings to exchange. No need to.
"I think I've found what I was looking for," you tell him teasingly. “Nice of you to throw this little get-together. What’s the occasion? Don’t think I remember when you were in this good of a mood.”
“Who said I was in a good mood?” he grumbles, leaning onto the counter. “Didn't feel like being left alone with my thoughts tonight is all.”
“You, brooding? Never."
He makes a sound as if repressing a dry laugh. “You think yourself clever for an herbivore, don’t you?”
“Maybe. Not as clever as you, though.”
“Hmph. You really know how to stroke a guy’s ego."
It’s comfortable, this trading of quips. Safe. The conversation flowing so easily, like wine poured. It is the only true way you can stand on the same level as him.
Leona lifts the glass and downs the rest of his drink. From the way he winces, it must burn on the way down. You wrinkle your nose at the sharp smell that meets it. Earth spiced with hypnotic smoke and the acrid pang of sorrow.
“They serve alcohol here? I thought those jars on the shelves were full of tea blends.”
Leona scoffs. “If you know the right people and the right strings to pull. The cephalopunk said his establishment was more than happy to provide for me as long as I shelled out and signed some liability waiver.”
“… Does the headmaster know about this?”
“He doesn’t need to know.” Leona smirks, placing his newly drained drink down. Immediately, a staff member appears and replaces it with a fresh glass. “What’s he gonna do, anyway? Sue me? I’m of legal drinking age, and ‘s not like I’m passing out alcohol to minors”
“Unbelievable.” You shake your head in disbelief. “You’re so bad.”
“The worst,” he agrees sarcastically. “And you choose to keep me as company.”
“I’m but your humble accomplice, sir.” You jokingly salute to him. “Don’t worry, I’ll keep your secret. Rough day?”
He sighs in a way that gives the impression of saying, Like you wouldn't believe. But that tail of his swings back and forth like a patient pendulum, refusing to reveal his secrets. “This isn’t about me.”
“It literally is.” You pass a not-so-subtle glance at his second helping of whisky.
"I'm the host. It wouldn't do to bring down the festive atmosphere of this celebration with my feelings, now would it?"
You don't miss how he proceeds to take a swig right after his claim, how readily he consumes poison, even when it hurts him. Alcohol, insults. Pain, self-inflicted.
He has an arsenal of tricks and techniques to deflect—partaking in vices, one of them. Leona's magic rendered fortresses to sand, but he is an expert at building his own structures just the same. Studier, even. Imperious.
Attempting to scale the walls directly, you know, won't get you very far. Not when he has gone to such great lengths to guard his heart. There's a moat with leering crocodiles, barbed wire decorating the gates, a drawbridge firmly closed.
You attempt to breach the subject, toeing the line between testing his patience and challenging it. “What is it that you want then, Leona?”
He falls quiet, staring at the remains of his beverage. It’s like the sphere of ice the whisky swims with is a crystal ball, and he’s peering into it, seeking answers. His verdant eyes shift a shade deeper, darker.
When he’s solemnly silent like this, he’s contemplating. His next move in a game of chess, his next words in a debate. Plotting, scheming.
"A distraction," he declares at last, in that resolute tone he uses when he’s set on capturing a prize.
"A... distraction."
He nods, angling his head toward the noisy lounge. Ruggie is rallying some of the guys for a round of root beer pong. Jack’s trapped in a headlock, the hyena urging him to join in. They’re rowdy and ruddy from the exhilaration that comes with competition.
“Get my mind off of things. Take me away from all of this for a spell."
“How, exactly…?”
Leona drains his second glass. The server slides him a third. "Let's start with your day. From there, ramble about whatever.”
Amuse me, he seems to say, even if his mouth doesn’t. The twinkle has returned to his eyes, brightening them like the stars do the milky way.
You gulp, feeling compelled to obey.
Gathering your thoughts and wetting your lips, you begin. "This morning..."
The story opens like a newborn finding its footing for the first time: clumsily. Granted the space to expand, you do. Slowly, the conventions come to you. Balance, coordination. Each sentence is like a step, taken one at a time.
You run through your daily schedule and, reciting it out loud, you realize how terribly mundane it is. Classes, chores, chums. The usual. Worry flickers through you—Will he be satisfied with this?—but he only gestures for you to continue.
“Ah, so I picked up this new hobby recently…”
Leona props his face up on one hand, curled fingers resting against a cheek. He watches you with a look that isn’t quite predator on prey but isn’t quite human to human either. It’s intimate in a way that makes you feel exposed even when you avert your gaze, calculating enough to make you feel like a complex equation he has yet to solve.
“When something’s hard to get, it makes you want it all the more,” he had once told you. The memory surfaces like bubbles in a flute of champagne. Then it pops, fizzling away in a fine mist, and it is gone.
Moments like this are magic, you think.
You slip into a cadence, a rhythm. You lose count of how many stories you tell, how many whiskies Leona slams down in the span of them.
And still, the glowing green of his irises never seems to stray far from you. Vibrant and pulsating, like plants with heartbeats of their own, swaying in time with a stray breeze. Seeking something.
You don’t know if that concerns or thrills you.
"Ahahah…” You allow yourself a chuckle as you stretch in your seat. “This is so strange, isn’t it? I never thought I'd be rubbing elbows with a prince this time last year.”
Leona responds with a noncommittal “Mmmmm.”
He lowers his gaze to his drink number who knows?, his honey-colored reflection gazing back. When he blinks, his lashes seem to fall and flutter in slow motion.
You wonder what he's thinking, why he's thinking.
You reach for him. Carefully, gently, as if approaching a wounded animal. He is wounded--in that frightening way that leaves no visible marks, no scars.
"Leona..."
You hear your name being called before you can tap his shoulder. You look--there's Jack, waving at you. Ruggie has his hands cupped over his mouth.
"Wanna participate in an arm-wrestling contest? Jack's the reigning champ!"
"Oh, um--" you try to respond, to explain that you're preoccupied. The blaring music washes you out.
Ruggie makes a face of confusion and shouts again: "What?!"
You start to rise from your stool and turn to him, raising your volume. "I said..."
You stop. Your wrist is ensnared in Leona's grasp, cuffing you to the spot.
“… Don’t go." His command cuts through the noise, startling you with its softness, its contrasting clarity.
"It'll only be a second. It's too hard to talk over the--"
"You must've not heard me the firs'time," he interrupts, his words slightly slurring together, one melting into the next. Leona pouts like a child. "I’m orderin' you to stay. Stay here, with me."
"You've been awfully bossy today."
"Cuz you keep bein' a pain in my tail. How'm I supposed to..." The more the man babbles, the more confidence drains from his voice. His proud lion's roar shrinking and shrinking to a kitten's mewl. Tiny, vulnerable. "Don't go. Don't... leave. Everyone else has. They always do."
Non-sarcastic pleading? From Leona?
You eye him in concern. "Being serious for a sec, are you okay?"
He winces, like speaking or touching you is a considerable effort. You're set free, his body slumping as he lays down at the bar. His mane spreads out around him like a pool of chocolate. Leona cradles himself against the cushion of an arm, groaning into it.
Definitely not okay.
You pass Ruggie a firm shake of the head--a no to his offer--then settle back into your seat, returning to Leona.
"I'm here," you reassure him with a soft push against the middle of his chest. "See? I'm not going anywhere." Then you poke him on his forehead. "What's up? You're thinking of something."
He peers at you from behind an arm and snorts. "Thinkin' about how you run your mouth a lot."
"You told me to. I'm just following orders--don't you like that? You're so hard to please."
"I have high standards," he says simply.
"Well..." You lift a brow expectantly. "Am I meeting them?"
This manages to draw out a bark of laughter from him, however strained it sounds. He fixates on you, the start of a scowl upon his searching expression.
Assessing you.
“… Why?” Leona asks suddenly. No proper answer. Instead, an inquiry thrown back in retaliation.
“Why what?”
“Why d’you bother stickin’ around? Why d’you…” A pause, as if the verb that comes next is capable of killing if not handled correctly. “Why do you care so much?”
You shrug. “You don’t really need a reason to care about someone. Anyone with a heart would, right? You’d do the same for me or any of your dorm members.”
“And what do you know about heart?” He fumbles for his drink, but you slyly slide it out of reach. A growl of frustration. “All I got’s a big black hole where my heart should be.”
“That’s not true,” you protest stubbornly. “Your students say so many good things about their dorm leader. They all really look up to you.”
“Hah, as if.” He lifts his head and slams it on the table. “I failed’m. What good’s a king if he can’t produce results? What good’s tryin’ if all there is at the end of the tunnel’s darkness? Can’t even dispatch the damn lizard or beat ‘m at his own game…
You frown. “Hey. hey! Don’t talk about yourself like that… and stop doing that, you’re going to injure yourself.”
Leona doesn’t seem to register anything you say. He continues deliriously mumbling to himself, the alcohol having wiped away his inhibitions and all the cards he so often kept close to his chest.
“I never get what I want,” he complains, dragging himself up—but he sways and is forced to hunch forward on his chair, elbows on the counter for support. “Never, ever. No matter how hard I try, no matter how hard I work… It all comes crumbling down eventually.”
His hair covers his face the same way the strands of a weeping willow do. You can’t see what kind of an expression is making. Do you want to see it?
He’s sinking, you realize. The same claws that struggle for a firm grip on the rocky ledge he dangles from, the same claws that render enemies to ashes—they don’t help him against crashing waves, the swamp that drags him down, down, down, into its murky depths. No sunlight, no air.
“The crown… the interdorm tournament... love, respect, admiration... Everything slips through m’fingers like sand. It’s some cruel, sick joke. Must be m’fate as the prince with naught.”
“Leona..."
Is this what haunts you every time you're alone in your room? The thoughts that you're scared of visiting you every night... What you needed a distraction from?
“Get my mind off of things," he had said. "Take me away from all of this for a spell."
There's an ache in your chest. The dull, throbbing pain that comes at the end of reading a sad story. His story.
But it's not the end of it, right? It can't be.
Your fingers tangle in his tresses and brush them aside. From behind the curtain, he peers at you like some stray cat having retreated into its cardboard box. And you meet him without hesitation.
"... Hey," you manage. "I think you've had enough. You're starting to say all this... unkind stuff about yourself, and you're not having fun anymore. Can you walk? Let's get you back to Savanaclaw and have you lie down."
Leona sways slightly. Even drunk, his tone is haughty and shreds into you like claws. "You can't tell me what t'do."
"You're the host," you insist with a smile. The words are his, borrowed, sharpened, and repurposed in your possession. "It wouldn't do to bring down the festive atmosphere of this celebration with your feelings, now would it?"
He stares at you, eyes blown wide. Then his lids lower, lashes shading his view of you.
"Why... Why d'you hafta be like thish? This would be sho much easier if y'didn’t look at me like that."
"L-Like what?"
Leona inches closer. He usually smells of sun and soil, but all of that has been smothered by the reek of booze. Heat radiates from his face, flushed from liquid courage, and hits yours.
"Like there's still a chance for me." He speaks clearly and concisely, each syllable a brick laid out and sandwiched with mortar to the next. Pouring all his energy into them. "Like you still believe in me."
"Because I do. Is that so wrong?" You're unsure of the answer--a part of you, dreading it.
Leona counters with another question. It is tinged with anger, irritation. "Why can’t you be like the others and just give up already? It'd save you a lot of trouble."
"I can't bring myself to leave you hanging on the edge of a cliff. We all want a hand sometimes to lift us up when we're down, so... I want to be that for you. And it seems like you could use that hand to get you out of your troubles right about now."
His lip trembles. Leona's voice comes out huskily. "I hate that dumb, wide-eyed look of yours. So full of hope. When you look at me like that… it makes me think I might still be able to have you.”
“You already have me, dummy. I’m right here, remember?”
“No.” His gaze is intense, almost pulsating. He has a way of scrutinizing that lays you bare before him, pinning you in place and making you inadvertently squirm. “Not in the way I want you t'be.”
Your heart stops, as if he has seized it in his grasp. One squeeze, and he can crush it. It's a mercy he doesn't, even as you erupt into a flurry of confusion, an inferno engulfing you.
"What?" you whisper, scarcely believing your ears. "Wh-What do you mean by that...?"
THUNK!
His balance caves. Leona keels over, the weight of his large body toppling onto yours like a domino crashing into the next one in a sequence.
His head lands on your shoulder, neatly nestling into the junction of your collarbone and neck. Arms loosely snake around your hips, hugging them, his tail wrapping around a leg like a ribbon decorating a pillar. A throaty groan escapes him.
Panic bolts through your muscle and bone.
Your immediate instinct is to shove him off—but he’s heavy and inebriated, and it’s hard for you to fend off the warmth pressed against you. He’s not playing fair. Is he doing this on purpose? You shouldn’t be surprised; he never does.
His low purr tickles you, his breath feathering across your bare skin. He sounds half asleep, caught in that magical twilight realm between the waking world and dreams. “Is it okay… for someone like me to fall in love with someone like you?”
Love?
Four letters, one simple word.
Your surroundings dullen, the chatter and the laughter and the music floating far away. You become acutely aware of all of the places where he touches you, of every spot where you connect. There are so many people gathered in the lounge, but all you can perceive is him: Leona, Leona Kingscholar.
Your mind races, set to a frantic pace like wildebeests rampaging.
Love, the thing with wings that soars high above the clouds. Love, the golden light that brings life to the lands. Love, the wellspring so many drink from.
He feels all of that for you?
It feels like I'm dreaming. Am I dreaming?
"D-Do you really mean that, Leona?" You need to know. You must confirm it. "That you... love me?"
Silence.
“L-Leona…?” you stutter, lightly tapping his back. It rises and falls, rises and falls, like the tides lapping the seashore. Soft, at ease.
But not a response.
One, two, three.
Three seconds. Three seconds is all it takes for Leona Kingscholar to knock out--and he is out like a light.
The party and its twisted beat carry on, the bass blasting in your bloodstream, uncaring. And you remain, cradling a snoozing cat in your arms.
... Ah, seriously. How did it turn out like this?
Upset, annoyance--you think that these are, perhaps, what you're meant to be feeling in the moment. They are missing, not so much as a phantom present. Instead, there's an excitable fluttering that doesn't have a name to it yet.
You swallow, still slightly shaken. The confession, raw and revealing, stirring emotions you didn't think possible before. Emotions that burned red hot, with serrated teeth and talons.
A hand goes to the back of his head, stroking his mane and smoothing it out. It's comforting to him, you imagine, but it's comforting to you as well. Grounding.
You're here. He's here. The both of you are here, together.
There is it again, that unnamed, excitable fluttering kicking up back up. It fans out from your core, from your head to the tips of your toes. You feel like you're lighter than air, flying to the moon and playing among the stars.
He loves you.
Leona Kingscholar loves you.
The fingers trapped in his hair stiffen.
You draw out a sigh. It mingles with the music and stretches thin, a string of fabric pulled from a spool.
Until the clock strikes midnight… Let’s just stay like this for a little longer. That much would be okay, wouldn’t it? We can figure out the rest of the story once the sleepy prince wakes from his slumber.
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