#don't feel bad asking if you need me to translate anything; his spelling is hard enough to decipher without him using shorthand

[meanbossart]

ASK COMPILATION ABOUT THE WEIRD DROW

Replying to a couple of shorter questions! Sorry that I can't get to all of you lest this blog just turns into a stream of constant asks, but I read all of your messages and to be honest there are several that I'm saving to draw something for 😭 alas there are only so many hours in a day.

Thank you for all the support and interactivity as always!

He takes fairly good care of things he considers important or useful - otherwise he's pretty messy or at least indifferent to mess. Definitely a "leaves the wet towel on the bed" guy LOL

Okay so I was bad and not used to DnD mechanics or spells the first time I played the game, so I RARELY ever cast Speak With Animals and had very little sense of their personality during his campaign - BUT THERE WAS THIS ONE TIME WHEN I DID.

THERE WAS ONE TIME WHERE I REMEMBERED.

AND IT WAS PERFECT.

He adores and most of all respects this intense little guy with his whole heart.

[MORE UNDER THE CUT]

Serious answer: he respects wild animals far too much to try and make one into a pet.

Non-serious but still true answer: He would never do that and have to deal with Astarion's incessant Drizzt Do'urden joke comparisons for the rest of his existence. That's that man's personal hell.

He's fairly adaptable! But as far as dynamics go, he does lean bottom regardless of who he's with in bed, but this doesn't necessarily translate into always being on the receptive end of things.

If he were to be with a cisgender woman who doesn't wear a strap like its a second pair of briefs, he would be more than happy to be the pitcher the majority of the time. I think the only scenario where he would be dissatisfied is a restrictive one - he couldn't be with someone who doesn't want to enjoy his whole body in earnest, or who can't flip the roles every once in a while. Also, you have to be a little gross. He has probably caught Astarion off-guard with the things he did on a whim/suggested they do more than once. All in all, as long as whoever he's with is versatile and not a prude, they could probably make it work.

He killed Minthara in her lair and all he got was a bear out of it. Good thing killing her was it's own reward!

MAN... Could just be that his story is far too concrete in my brain already, but it's hard for me to see that working. They are both far too out of touch with their emotions and quiet in their demeanor for me to envision a durable romance sparking. Also, DU drow (who has no clue how old he is himself) thinks of Shadowheart as being far too young for him.

There is a mutual understanding between them that there is a barrier that neither of them is willing to let the other get past - and because that is something they both share, they won't, and they might never try. They work so well as friends because of their similarities, but in a relationship I think that would be to their detriment.

Also, I think silver-haired Shadowheart's wants and needs for her future far diverge from DU drow's chaotic lifestyle, ultimately It's probably best for them to make their own paths.

HAHAHAHA LISTEN.... YOU'RE TALKING AS IF THOSE TWO THINGS DON'T GO TOGETHER PERFECTLY WELL BUT IN MY MIND THEY ARE ONE AND THE SAME.

The thing about DU drow is that he might be a bottom, but he's a very... Uh, engaged bottom. He can be as dominant with a dick in his ass as he can be submissive depending on how it jives with his partner- and he's gonna spew some nonsense either way LOL

Either way... I feel ya brother 😔🍑

He did it himself during a dinner Gortash invited him to. At the table. With a meat knife. He was trying to prove a really stupid point/put Gortash off of him.

I have a script for this and I still need to draw it someday! 🤦‍♂️

He doesn't think anything of it now - it's so far in the past and DU drow obviously isn't the judgemental type when it comes to sordid individuals LOL

As a person, however, Astarion likely wasn't the kind of guy that he would have gotten along with, and vice-versa. Sounds to me like he was pretty poshy and did all his misdeeds under the table - DU drow wouldn't have strong feelings about it from an ethical standpoint, but he wouldn't respect it either. Also, DU drow's is practically anarchistic in his political views - soooooo not much room there to be in love with politicians. I'm sure pre-vampirism Astarion would have less than favorable opinions about him as well so the feeling would have been mutual LOL.

ABSOLUTELY NOT HE NEEDS BOTH EYES TO CUT THROUGH FOES he will gladly put Gale on the slab to see what happens though LMAO

[selfcareparker]

(lovely anon) i'm so happy to finally be answering this oh my goodness hi gorgeous human being i feel that it has been too long 🥲 SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED SINCE THE LAST TIME I'VE WRITTEN ONE OF THESE HOW HAVE YOU BEEN

to answer the things you have said most recently- i'm so mad that spring break is over bc now i have to go back to life??? like dancing and school and shit that feels so unnessacry 😭 and like i can't just do nothing anymore? i was so used to it and now...... ugh. i STILL haven't played sims (i think it's because ✨depression✨ be hitting sometimes) lol but MWAHAH IM SO HAPPY FOR YOUR NEIGHBOR!AU AND THAT THEY HAD LITTLE BABY LEO!! i feel the name thing.. i just come up with something that sounds nice? i think leo is a nice name, it makes me think about lea michele and the fact that her son's name is Ever Leo but anyway. i don't name my sims after what i want to name my children irl either... idk why though. (i don't know why i'm telling you this but for boy names i love Liam🥰 and if i had twin boys i think i would do Liam and Peter though i am not married to the name Peter.... anywho)

LMAOOO the therpaist coming made me laugh thank you :)) i hope it's helpful? this may be tmi but i've only really had negative thoughts recently and not many healthy outlets so i'm hoping crossing one thing off this sad list will make me feel better :') i think during spring break my anxiety and my depression really spiked? idk, it comes in episodes but yeah THIS GOT REALLY SAD

i think a lot of things when i read your posts but i never say them hahaha so imma say it now: i googled what bon appetit meant ( i also just had to google how to spell it ) but ur right, i feel like bone apple tea makes more sense than bone apple teeth.. the "th" is throwing me off bc how i say it bone appa (like app-a) teet (like you're saying tit but teet lol) so bone apple tea makes more sense to me lol

i never know really know the time difference for anything lmao but est to germany (that's not gmt is it?) is like 6 hours wOAH so it's like 9pm while it’s 3pm here? wowee

i feel mega weird after watching this show called hollywood (darren criss is in it, so is laura harrier and a bunch of other people) but i don't like it💀 i feel really icky rn and idk why but reading your last response to my ask (?) always makes me feel better :')

i am doing what you said btw, i'm typing this on my computer first then gonna transfer it to my phone's tumblr lol but when you said a digital detox, it's interesting cuz i feel like i've been having one since tom's new project was announced? gOD i don't wanna get into it bc i get so triggered but i've been off of instagram since then bc instagram stans literally stand by tom through whatever even when something ain't right- i’m just gonna leave it there bc i’ll continue the rant, but yeah so i took a break lol

also heard abt your driving lesson thing (?) was it that bad? i can't find the old post but someone asked if you hooked up with your lesson person and i was sOOO CONFUSED LMAOO LIKE OK ARIA GET SOME BUT UHH HUH?

now to address the actual response HAHA the way you touch my heart :') by :') bringing :') up :') halle :') being ariel :') (i honest to God don't remember if i brought this up first, forgive me if i did, it's been a minute lmao) i'm always talking about it and i'm pretty sure my family is so tired of me talking about it lmao, but YEAH when i found out they weren't twins i was so surprised but idk why i always thought they were twins? but YOU ARE SPEAKING MY LANGUAGE WITH THE DISNEY TALK- everyone is always like "tiana is my favorite princess" and yea she's strong and stuff but...... she was a frog. for almost the whole time. it's about time we got another one!! i do agree with some people on the fact that disney should just make another black princess but halle is adorable and i was ariel on stage so it's already really special to me :')

yeah lol there are good times with my brothers but they make me mad for a good portion of the time (there's the 12yo vincent and the 7yo daniel but vincent??? psshhh he is a piece of work and i'm not sure how much longer i can put up with him HAJAH AND YES VINCENT IS THE ONE WHO WAS 👁👄👁WHEN I CRIED AND THE ONE WHO DOESN'T LISTEN TO MUSIC- writing this now makes it sound like vincent is awful. which he isn't... we're working on him ig. not to add to the awfulness but no, he listens to obnoxious loud VIDEO GAME MUSIC and won't stop when we ask him to stop... he gets beat up a lot) anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌

yeah let me know if you end up watching it (wandavision)! i think it's great but if you like it lmk!! tfatws is sooo good like PHEW i am honestly loving it. sidenote: j*hn w*lker makes me wanna jump through the screen and choke him to the ground. i was thinking right, and the falcon and the winter soldier (THATS SO MUCH EASIER FAJHKDAH) would techinally be like a 10 hour movie right? because every episode is an hour long and there'll be 10 episodes? like wow. i get what you mean though, abt the racism in the show etc, like looking forward to it but not like..... no i get what you mean i will not try and give another example lol but you make me wanna learn more languages like really badly (bc of what you said about the german to american translation) & if you end up watching hamilton PLEASE LMK ABT THAT TOO HAHAHA i love it so much, same thing with lion king lmaoo

speaking of germany, i was at lunch on saturday with my mom and her friend and we were talking about my schooling and like-- she planted this idea in my head lol like what if i just got my GED and went around the world (to england probably) to get a theatre experience??? and i think it sounds so cool but no where near practical lol, it's just..... the dream haha and i would then try and learn a language 😉

uh yes we absolutely should order basically a resturant meal at a cinema, how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?

also about cherry (which i still haven't watched yet lol) i got the timestamps from tumblr😌 i couldn't find them anywhere else, but i agree, i probably wouldn't even look twice at cherry if tom wasn't in it? like i liked tdatt a lot, but it's not a movie i would be itching to see ya know?

HAHAHAHA THE 24 HOUR NOTIFICATION- i think i have around 1030 hours on sims? but i've had it since 2019 lmao (reading the screenshots, yes u are 100% a genuis, i take screenshots too but on anon you can't upload them so i just read them and retype what i wrote lmao) i think the university experience in the game is fun, but time consuming and it's all work imo. idk why i do it so often tho 😭😭😭

and agreed!! when you're making good money in the game you have to find other ways to make it interesting. my cousins who play it just continously do "motherlode" and i'm like.... then what do you do in your game?? it just sounds boring to me... my current sims household, i had a famous comedian sim, her name was dylan, aND SORRY IM LAUGHING SO HARD WHILE WRITING THIS BC ITS A GREAT EXAMPLE OF THE UNI THING UNLESS IM JUST DUMB, she went to college for communications when i wanted her to be a comedian and when she graduated i realized that degree did nothing for the career 🥲 so yeah, i think i'm just dumb. but she had a kid in college, guy didn't stick around and she was pretty broke HA but then she got married to this (great) guy named steve, made good bank, had 5 more kids (two sets of twins and one more lol) but then she passed. uhm... yeah that's still an open wound . lol i'm kidding, but when you get rich like that, you have to find a way to make the game interesting and i chose a million kids.

(this was one giant paragraph until i broke it up uhh yeah) i seriously don't pay attention to the sims prices and just end up spending way too much money and not being able to finish the rest of the house😭 but then again, i'm so used to having sims live in apartments... if i end up building a house FIRST OF ALL it'll look like what you explained before lmao but i'll tell you if i actually end up building a house HAHA & planning out your sims game is so fun to me lol, did enisa and michael take in his daughter yet? i may be thinking too far ahead lol and i love that they fucked woohooed (i say woo woo lol) in celebration HAHA but when i was playing with this one couple i had them woo woo every night hoping the dude would have horrible pull out game and they would concieve, but one night they were too tired and i was like why? get back in there man. if i was in college and lived with my partner we would be fucking every night homie. be grateful. i have been talking a lot about sims, and like you said: enough 💀 i just love this game a lot 😭😭

SORRY LAST THING i think the sims romantic and sexual stuff is so nice bc its what i want?? LMAO IDK like the whole hot tub thing you're talking about- puh lease ITS JUST NICE TO SEE OKAY

i'm reading the german section over again and i said aloud "my german friend is so cool" lol (i was saying that to my brothers & i know they don't care LMAO) (& i'm glad the uni zoom call went well!!) so on a form, in german, it could possibily say Einführungsveranstaltungsteilnehmer because you would be a participant to an introductory event? i swear german sounds so cool 😌 but i love reading your german lessons!! it's really interesting, most of the time my brain can't comprehend it tho?? like that word makes sense to you, but i need a translation. like to be able to look at that and know what it says.... its just appealing and seems so cool lol i kinda wanna write something out in german but i feel that google translate will fail me. während googeln "google übersetzen" mein Computer war so verdammt langsam und es fühlte sich einfach wie etwas Gutes auf Deutsch zu sagen. ich bin nicht sicher, welches Wort ist "fucking", aber ich mag es lmao (did it fail me like i thought it would??)

LMAOOO THANK YOU FOR BRINGING UP JUSTIN BC WHILE AT THE RESTURANT THEY PLAYED A JUSTIN SONG AND I IMMEDIATELY THOUGHT OF YOU AND THIS STORY😭 lol i was thinking it's depending on your age but not even that either... i really don't know.... but tom's fans are hollanders💀 i would consider myself one? he's the only person i'm really into like that (like a lot lol) so idk lmao (directioners 💔💔the pain is real)

LMAOOO (both of these paragraphs started off with “lmaooo” smh) "i like my men when they look like they are on the brink of death" PLEASE, i don't like pete's blonde hair... i just don't. i'm not sure if i wasn't watching the most recent snls but yea. my mom thinks he looks like trash, but i think he's okay? like he said staten island people just look like trash LMAO and I STILL HAVEN'T SEEN KING OF STATEN ISLAND GIRL I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THAT!! now i'm gonna make plans to watch it lmao, & yes agreed i find pete hot, don't ask why i really couldn't explain it to someone he's just .

my favorite songs from rex are from pony oh my goodness 🥺 anywho i'm gonna go eat cereal (i ended up eating bun and cheese instead) and listen to the Stormzy songs you recommended... aria. aria aria aria. i would like to thank you for introducing me to stormzy i- i don't have any words or any emojis to express HOW GOOD STORMZY IS. i hope he's popular in germany/the uk because i haven't heard of him but GURLLLL

one second - delicious i love it. it's really good. it’s not my favorite from the album, but its great.

superheroes - at first i played the non-explicit one (on accident) and wondered why the words weren't playing but i was reading them in the lyrics??? THIS ONE THOUGH??? IS THE BEST SONG I THINK I'VE EVER HEARD. i am so SO SO into black people empowering songs (like brown skin girl by beyonce) and this song???? PHEW I CRYYYYY ITS SO GOOD.... i was gonna quote some lyrics BUT THERS TOO MANY I LOVE, "i am young, black, beautiful, and brave" "black queen, you're immaculate, it's coming at the world, they ain't ready for your magic yet, and that was never your fault" THAT WAS NEVER YOUR FAULT- I ALMOST CRIED THIS SONG IS SO BEAUTIFUL (i played it twice lol)

lessons is another beautiful one, like its slow and it feels intimate and nurturing and just OO chefs kiss, beautiful . like you can feel the apology and the regret... it’s so good

own it - OWN IT OWN IT OWN IT IS AMAZING!! swear you would catch me dancing to this song, this song is so fucking good i cannot comprehend like this one might be my favorite for real... "it's the way you wind up your waist, i'm so in awe, you never have to worry abt nothing, you know its yours, you know you own it" 🥲 i played it two or three times honestly

rachael's little brother - YES I DID LISTEN TO IT LMAO AND YES I LIKE IT, its a very complex song and it's very layered in terms of emotions i think and i really like that about it. i probably won't listen to it that often, but its really good. i would recommend this song to my "older brother" bc he would just absolutely love this

shut up - i was taking this song seriously (also very good) until i heard him say shu-T up LMAO, this one is good, i probably wouldn't listen to it 24/7 like rachael's little brother but honestly its still fire

before listening to blinded by your grace and vossi bop, i know you brought up the religion bit, i definitely don't mind that, especially because i'm Christian lol and i actually liked that he brought up God in some of his songs like idk i just like it🥰🥰

(i then went to bed after that lol but first thing in the morning i listened to superheroes and... that song is probably my favorite tbh, i was gonna write MORE quotes that i loved from it but, yeah no there's too many. if you want i'll tell you lmao but this is already so long i would just be quoting the whole friggin song)

VOSSI BOP IS A BOP (lol) I CANT EVEN LIE, i love a song that hypes up a dude's girl so the line- i love that my phone decided to fail to load the lyrics, lemme google it, okay the lyric "looking at my girl like what a goddess" i was like AYEEE its honestly just really good. and no one in america says "sauce" like "i've got the sauce" but now i do (thanks to love island and Nas from last season) and now stormzy so (also im gonna watch the music video for superheroes bc it looks great so 😛)

(because this is already so long i feel like i shouldn't finish the rest but . no i'm gonna do it)

now for blinded by your grace pt2 idk why i’m nervous lmaoo PAUSE I'M NOT EVEN DONE WITH THE SONG GIRL THIS SONG IS *chefs kiss* no words, speechless PHEW y'all gon make me start jumping around. why did i not know about stormzy before, he is amazing i- ok yeah i finished the song, all i have to say is that Stormzy is immaclucate. period. i am literally sending his music to all my friends he is..... amazing

you want my song recommendations 🥺🥺 hmm uh okay lol i listen to a lot of old music, whitney houston, marvin gaye, queen, celine dion, i love "more than words" by extreme uhmm okay, but for actual music i listen to on the daily? (this is a lot of different music like.... they do not go together lmao so be prepared) a song about being sad by rex orange county, betty by taylor swift and lover by taylor swift and... most of that album lol, treasure by bruno mars lmao, OOOO and versace on the floor by bruno as well, lazybaby by dove cameron, creep by tlc has been on repeat lol, deja vu by olivia rodrigo (i saw what you said about drivers license and AGREED LMAO but i like deja vu a lot more haha) and two albums that i listen to in general, rare by selena gomez and ungodly hour by chloe x halle 🥰 you don't have to listen to all of them or any of them lol but that's a sense of what i'm into :) so basically everything haha, i'm into literally every single kind of music really so i wasn't too surprised that i enjoyed stormzy :’)

HAHASBSJHAHA your h20 story cracked me up,, like "wow these actors are so dedicated, learning german just for us" 😭 the beauty of overdubbing

once again, math and maths, in my mind maths makes sense because its mathmatics, but saying maths doesn't feel right to me lol, like if i said maths i feel like everyone would look at me like ??? and yea i was taught it as math so its just more natural for me. but yes math/maths is disgusting, easily one of my least favorite subjects so .

mkay. i- the first time i read this i could not contain my laughter when you said the only pollen you know is sex pollen LMAOKOOSHBABJFAJF STOPPP I'M EVEN LAUGHING WRITING THIS,, anyway. wow! that's interesting, my dad (<<< mostly anything else) gets migraines from the sun and the heat and stuff, yesterday (sunday, i was outside for like hours watching my brothers play football, the american kind lol) i was in the sun for like ever and i got a headache😔

summer clothes🥲 i need to go shopping fr fr. for my birthday my mom and dad got me a giftcard like dedicated to a shopping spree and we've yet to go so..... i should bring it up to my mom lol, but!! i went bra shopping (ended up returning literally all of them cuz they honestly didn't work for day to day work? its a long story) and if i could i would walk around in this new "summer bra" i got, i would. it's so fricking cute and its really light fabric (which isn't perfect for my nipples but still) so i don't get hot in it, but that bra and some shorts would be perfect. its the closest thing to being naked so

IS THE BIRD STILL BOTHERING U ARIA, TELL ME NOW ISTG, i laughed really hard that the bird isn't stupid and is really trying to torture you LMAOO like i was rolling, it wants you to suffer, badly

when you said "mensus" it was still close to mens!!! latin speaking queen 😌😌

okay STORYTIME i was reading back your response and started (fake) crying bc i love you lol and my youngest brother (daniel) gon say "oh man, catherine's crying about something we don't care about, again" I--- i swear when i tell you about them they sound awful, but they aren't that bad, just the stuff i say about them is sounds really mean LMAO

but the thing you said about being kind, same, what i always say is: don't be the person that makes people say "i hate people" ya know? like there's no reason to be a jerk or anything.... but its true 🥺🥺🥺🥺 you are really kind and every time i talk to you i would like to personally fly to germany and give you a hug 💖💕💞💗���💝💖💘

& i'm gonna show my stretch marks some love bc of you 🥺😭 i really hate how men have basically everyone conditioned that you can't love your own body </3 fuck them, y'all beautiful :')

also thanks for what you said :')) you literally are the kindest, sweetest person i think i've ever spoken to and i love you 🥰🥺🥲💓💗

READING YOUR TAGS HAHAHHAHA the spelling errors makes everything so much funnier. once again, i like your german lessons & yea!! i'm gonna play sims after writing this hahah

#catherine's tags are back #i don't think i've told you my name before?? #anyway it's catherine🥰🥰🥰 #i'm typing this on my computer (without emojis) and if i didn't edit this you would be reading shit shite like #heartface and pout and cry LMAO #yeah abt the tattoos #some stuff with my parents i'm like deal with it??? lol #my mom tells me "if there's something you enjoy or you like but i don't have the same opinion on it... why would my (my mom's) opinion matter? #and i love that #like i'm not gonna go and do whatever i want #but if my mom doesn't like that i swear (which isn't true just an example) #its like okay.... #but whatever #and your tattoo ideas sound really cute!! #and yeah @ your parents, i mean you aren't getting something wild #and the tattoo album>>> #i'm gonna look up ariana's butterfly tattoos just so i know what you mean lol #but i'm guessing you don't want something so incredibily simple, but not super like over the top? #correct me if i'm wrong lol #LMAO the tags were in order don't worry ! #and yeah lol ily2 <33 #and once again, again, sorry for this post JSHJS ITS A MESS AND LONG AS HELL #and you don't need to go in order of my post its literally longer than your german compound words #u're fine #also !!! while writing this the birds were chirping outside and i was like 😳 #and one of your fics (i’ve read all of them, i don’t remember lol) that valentine’s day one where y/n had lingerie on (the pancake one lol) #inspired me to buy lingerie #like when i look back on me “growing up” #that fic & basically you lol really helped with that #that made no sense and i don’t know how to make it make sense... but... yeah. like ily

hiiiiiiiiiii <3333

Dear catherine, 😌

(you have said your name before, but it wasn‘t like an introduction or anything i think you were talking about .... was it possibly the incident at the cinema??? And you said something like ‘calm down catherine‘ like you were telling yourself to calm down idkd dkdkkdkd anyway i didn‘t mention it cause i wasn‘t sure if it was an accident or not dkdjd but now i know 😌❤️ Catherine is such a cute and lovely name btw omg and so are your brothers‘s names 🥰

Sorry that I‘m answering this so late, it‘s been an emotional rollercoaster for me since last week but i‘ll get to that in a second lol

Sksklssk girl i haven‘t played sims in like 2 weeks now ekejdkdlldld ok that‘s not that long at all actually but i keep wanting to play but then i end up not playing for whatever reason, so no news about my sims game 😔 but i love the names Liam and Peter and for twins!!! That sounds really nice actually

okay i‘m trying to answer your ask in chronological answer even though i wanted to wait for the depressing stuff and write it at the end or something OKAY so. i thought that i‘d feel so good when i start uni and that i‘ll like... have a purpose in life again and just be happy (cause in the last year i didn‘t do much and i was depressed like half of the time lol).... anyway i kind of feel even worse now? 😭 i think it‘s because in my brain it‘s like: university!!! that means your life will change and it‘ll all be so exciting. and don‘t get me wrong it is exciting butttt..... idk the online thing is so weird cause you‘re not meeting any new people (i‘m introverted anyway but still lol) and it doesn‘t feel like you‘re listening to/talking to actual people cause it feels the same as just watching a video?

also i thought i‘d be busy again but i only have one lecture (90mins) a day and theres one day where i dont have any lectures at all and just one day where i have 3 hours but.... idk i mean i shouldn‘t complain about having so much free time but i just don‘t know what to do all day and in a pandemic there really is nothing to do but i also can‘t relax bc it‘s like during the week and i know i have uni the next day and .... yeah.

There‘s also this one assignment i had to do that took me AT LEAST SIX HOURS AND IM NOT EVEN EXAGGERATING????? so that was the only thing i‘ve been doing besides “going to“ lectures. for this one course we have to read two (really really long) texts (like it literally took me 3 hours to read them) and we‘re supposed to post it on this website that all the professors in our uni use. So after 5 days of anxiety (✌🏼) i posted mine this morning bc last night i realised that i didn‘t even know why i was having anxiety so i just posted mine today. The deadline is tomorrow at 12 and no one except me has posted theirs yet........ so i have anxiety again 🥰 cause idk if i‘m the only one who did it or if i even did it correctly

Edit while i‘m rereading this: my anxiety about uni is a lot better and i‘m not as d*pressed anymore maybe it was just hormones? idk but i‘m better so that‘s good

(I started writing this like 5 hours ago and then i randomly completely forgot lol)

I‘m in a better mood now though so let‘s move on from that (oh wait also, i think i‘m gonna see if i can find a psychiatrist bc with my anxiety symptoms (long story) i need to go to a psychiatrist, and so far i‘ve only gone to like psycholgists and it didn‘t help but i think that‘s just bc i was meant to go to a psychiatrist and not a psychologist so dldjdjsj

n e ways but yes you‘re not alone, ily, things will get better and yes i love you (i‘m not good at this type of thing🥲 but i‘d hug you right now if i could <3)

Yess i think the time difference between est and me is 6hours but gmt is uk time i believe? i think mine is called.... cet? For central european time? I could be completely wrong though lmao

Oof i completely forgot about hollywood, i remember when laura kept posting about it on instagram but i never actually watched it and i definitely won‘t now lmaodkdksjsn

Okay my driving lesson LEBDJDKDK I DID NOT HOOK UP WITH ANYONE AKSJSKSMMLM especially not my 40 or 50 year old driving instructor lol i like her but NOT LIKE THAT, the lesson was really really really good actually and i think i‘ll have my driving test soon, but i don‘t even remember why the anon would have thought that??? Oh wait now i remember okay KEKSKDLDL so during the lesson my instructor was like do you mind if i turn on some music? AND THIS WOMAN TURNED ON ONE DIRECTION I LOVE HER so i made a post about it and i said something about the song up all night and i guess i phrased it in a .... idk in a dumb way 💀 so the anon made a joke that i stayed up with my driving instructor all night and NO. No.

Wait did i read that right? YOU WERE ARIEL ON STAGE? SIALDBDJDKSLMSBDKDMDMDKDJSLSMDJFJJEDMBFEKLEFBJDLDVSIDLESKSKWKDKDJDOWNYUEKWNDUWLNSUFLWVSUDLEHDOENSIDBEISBEHENJELBSIEMWUDNRIW KB WOBE JO ON SBEUU HIII S HWS LV W ICH US KB okay this keyboard smash is getting out of hand but uh please do elaborate on that 💘😌???? Like you can‘t just drop that information and not say more??? I forgot if you‘re in like your school‘s drama group (is that a thing? lol idk anything about acting) or in an independent group? Either way - ARIEL that is so fucking cool

Your brothers loooooool, no i get it though obviously you love them and stuff but esp at their age children are so annoying so good luck with them 😭😭😭lmao

Yeah “anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌“ yeah just me and my parents who constantly fight 🥰 lmao no i like being an only child, like i cannot imagine having siblings but i feel like if i had siblings i would be saying that i can‘t imagine being an only child so? but i do think it‘s quite different like i‘m trying to imagine having siblings and WHAT that‘s just so different omg i‘ve never really thought about it like properly ???

I saw a tik tok the other day that was like “sometimes i forget that my siblings have a life of their own. like i see them as side characters in my life“ and even though i can‘t relate obviously i felt that. lol, like i can really imagine how it feels idk what i‘m talking about like shut the fuck up, daria

(also my actual name is daria not aria but i dont like it, and also i wanted to be more anonymous on tumblr so now i‘m aria lmao. pls don‘t mention it though cause no one knows except for you and mel (peterbenjiparker) dkdkdkdnkdnd. but i‘m starting to identify with the name cause everyone keeps calling me that looool😭😭😭 (but i like the name, more than daria anyway? well it also depends on the accent, cause the way germans say daria is okay. the was Americans say it is also okay, but some of my family in England are from the north of england and i don‘t like how they say my name 💀 no offence to them(?) but yeah pls don‘t mention the name in your ask cause the chance of people seeing it is higher then (or if you want to say something about it just send a separate ask and i just won‘t post it (IDK what you‘d want to say about my name but yeah just in case slsldlldmsndnsns)

I‘m loving falcon and winter soldier so much but when i was watching an episode the week before last week (?) my laptop broke😭😭😭😭 during the scene where the dora milaje came at the end my laptop just shut down? And it had these lines all over the screen and i had to bring it to the shop where i bought it and they said it‘ll take 6-8 weeks to repair 💔💔💔 but at least it‘ll be for free, cause if i brought it back to apple it would cost like 400€ (i think that‘s nearly 500$) so yeah. but it sucks cause now i‘m “going to uni“ on a really old rusty laptop and on my phone which kinda sucks. oh yeah and also i can‘t watch anything on there 😭 i definitely want to watch wandavision but it‘ll have to wait🤧

Yessss you should def get your GED! I googled and I‘m still not entirely sure what it is dldks but from how you described it- YES!!!!!!

Idk if you know this? Like no idea if I‘ve told you this already (hmmm wait i feel like we talked about it actually?) anyway i was originally gonna go study in England, but for loads of reasons I ended up staying in Germany and I‘m def happy with my decision, but I definitely want to go to England sometime even if it‘s just for six months or maybe for my masters or something? And (obviously everyone is different) but i think everyone should go abroad and live in a different country once in their life, no matter if it‘s for school or what, and even if it‘s just for a few weeks. But i think that‘s something that you‘d never ever forget! And combining that with your acting/theatre??? You really would be living the dream 💘💘😌

how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?— sounds good see you soon 🥰🥰🥰

i used to be one of the people who‘d just do motherlode motherlode motherlode and just... what did i do? Why did i do that??? But not anymore lol. Like I said i haven‘t played sims in a few weeks but i‘ve been watching a few legacy challenge let‘s plays and usually i play with the aging off. So my sims just don‘t age 💀 but i could (should) turn aging on so that it stays exciting and i have limited time and everything. and once i get bored with my current sims i can just make them have kids and continue playing as their children when they get older- like recently i remembered that i haven‘t played the acting career in ages? and i haven‘t had a shop in ages? and i think you can even become a vet right??? like those are definitely some things i want to do in the next weeks!!! Also yes sksksjs i have a few hundred hours on sims as well (if not thousands 😭) it was just that one household that i‘d been playing with for 24hrs

AND GIRL SSKSKJD THE UNIVERSITY THING HAPPENED TO ME TOO, it was a while ago so i don‘t remember what degree and what job it was about but i made my sim study something for aaaaaages so she‘d get a better job from the beginning (you know what i mean like get in at a higher level)...... and i apparently studied the wrong thing cause i didn‘t get any benefits from studying and still had to start at level 1 and shit 🥴🥲

Oh also (this was like 2 weeks ago) Enisa and Michael did take in Michael‘s daughter and i think Enisa currently even has a higher/better relationship with the daughter than Michael but um💀💀💀 also i was hoping (since michael and enisa married (in their back yard i think lol) that the daughter (i forget what her name is😭) would have enisa as her step mom? Like you know how you can see the relationship and it says daughter or son or sister.. and i was hoping that it would say step mom but it doesn‘t say anything 🥲 but in my mind (and if the sims had proper family relations) she is her step mom😌 also Leo is a teenager now???? I mean I aged him up lol dkdk he was being too annoying as a toddler but i don‘t like children so i aged him up twice in one day and now he‘s a teen, but that means he can look after his half sister when she becomes a toddler which is good (the game recognises them as siblings tho even if they‘re just half siblings? why can‘t they have step family members in the sims🥲) okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

I‘ve been a bit sick these past few days and now i‘m getting a headache so i have to finish this response tomorrow 😭😭😭 </3

.

It‘s not tomorrow, it‘s 3 hours later but i‘m better lol

oooff when sims are ungrateful and won‘t woo woo (lol i like that) cause they‘re too tired like?? Be grateful that you‘re not living with your parents anymore 🙄 no okay dkdkdkdl idk if you play with mods (i don‘t) but i know there is a mod (or it‘s part of a mod idk maybe wicked whims?) where you can adjust the percentage of how risky a normal woo woo is, like you still click woo woo (3dksksks okay i‘ll say woohoo again— wait is that what’s it called? 😭) but there‘s like a 25% chance that your sim can still get pregnant just like in real life there‘s always a chance of getting pregnant even if you‘re using protection (just not 25% lmao) but yeah i personally don‘t play with mods sksk and you can always just click try for baby but it would be cool if you could add stuff like risky woohoo to the game without mods (i have no idea how to download mods and i play sims on a really really old laptop and sims is literally tje only thing that works on it anyway so—) i repeat my words from earlier: okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

okay i‘m so sorry i‘m gonna watch fast & furious 1 now cause i need to watch f&f 1-5 until the 30th of april cause they‘re only on netflix til then (i mean i could watch them somewhere else but the quality is never as good) so i will finish this tomorrow after all😭

it is now 1 am, i finished the film, can feel a new obsession coming up again (i always have these f&f obsessions for six months before and after a new film comes out)

THE GOOGLE TRANSLATE wkekdjdj tbh it sounds like someone is speaking with some kind of foreign accent i guess that‘s probably because it just is a direct translation and so anyway slsjsj i don‘t know if you asked me what the word fucking is in german? like idk cause the translation is a bit weird but in case you asked lol sidjsjs theres not really a good translation like we just say fuck for fuck lmao, i don‘t know if you typed in fucking in google translate and it came out as verdammt? cause that means damn (or damned sksjjs) ummm yeah idek if/what you asked so imma move on🤧

I‘m not gonna comment on what you said about every stormzy song cause you already said all the important things but SKSKSJSJSKNSNDBDUDOENWBSLSKKHSULSLSKSBSJSKSK I WAS SMILING SO HARD WHEN I READ YOUR RESPONSE FOR THE FIRST TIME BECAUSE AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH finally i know someone who loves him as much as i do 💘💘💘 also since you brought it up, i‘m pretty sure he‘s considered the most successful UK rapper or if not then at least top 3 so he‘s defffffffffinitely big in the uk, in germany more and more people are listening to uk rap too but not as much stormzy cause theyre dumb apparently 🙄 but anywY i‘m sooooo sooo happy that you like him. i think hith came out end of 2019 (i could be wrong but i think it came out on the 13th of december so (in a european way) you‘d write the date: 13.12 and obviously i don‘t KNOW this but i can definitely imagine that he chose that date because ACAB and yes, Michael. Yes. But he hasn‘t made too much music since then so i hope he‘s working on some new stuff 🤞🏼

Also i ordered the stormzy poster😌 also a nicki minaj one bc i decided i‘m gonna have one wall with red-ish posters (i already have two kinda red ones) and one with blue/green-ish posters (already have two) and i can add stormzy to the blue one and nicki to the red one, but i think that‘s it cause if my walls are tooo full it could look cluttered? I‘m not sure how that type of thing works lmao but my room is generally untidy so i don‘t want the walls to look unorganised too so i think that‘s it for now

I really want to finish this now but my brain is getting kinda slow and i need to sleep soon so this will have to wait till later after all 🥺🥴 (not that it makes and difference to you bc you‘ll see this whenever i post it buttttt i wanted you to know that i want to talk to you again but with my slow brain i‘m just taking too long to do it in one day😭😭😭 and i‘m so busy tomorrow hmm but i‘m sure i‘ll have 30 minutes to finish this then <3)

Okay wait I‘m so dumb I didn‘t realise I‘d nearly answered everything i could have posted this yesterday 😭😭

Oooohh that summer bra sounds so nice like if i was confident enough i literally would just wear a top that resembles a bra (or really is a bra lol) cause my tiddies always be looking amazing i‘m just insecure about my stomach sometimes 🙄🙄🙄 but recently i‘ve been loving myself more and more tbh 😌

also i hope you can go shopping for some nice clothes soon ✨😌

I‘ll be honest I haven‘t listened to your song recs YET but only because i wanna take my time with them and i‘ve been so busy and slso AJ tracey‘s album came out last week and I haven‘t listened to that one yet either so ekdkdj (he‘s also a uk rapper like quite popular and successful as well, but i feel like i‘m not gonna like his album cause whenever i‘m looking forward to an album it ends up being really bad and the albums where you weren‘t expecting it turn out to be bangers.... so yeah but i‘ll let you know when i listen to your songs!!!! :)

Omg i keep having to scroll up all the way to see the next thing you said so sorry if I completely miss some of the things you said😭😭

So when you sent this the bird was still bothering me oh my FUCK DKDLDMMDMDMD but now i‘ve been going to bed at like 1-2am so the bird is probably still asleep lool

Okay and for the rest of your ask my response is: 💘💖❣️💚❣️💛❣️💛💕💞❤️💓💟💞💕💕💖💘💝💟💟🧡❤️🧡💞💛💚💓💚💚💚❣️🧡💖💘🧡💝🧡💕💘🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺🥰🥺🥺💘💘💘💘💘 (okay that looked cuter in my head i don‘t really like the green hearts dldkkdksndnd)

[minabon]

"Love counseling with Lee Jong Suk"

Today, I will give advice on relationships. It won't be perfect, but I'll do my best to be helpful.

Haha ... (laugh)

I'll pick one (raffle question)

I didn't know it would be like this.

Hope to get an easy one.

Qns1: My boyfriend lives abroad and we have not been able to see each other because of Covid.

How can we maintain our relationship?

LJS: I'm always tempted to have a little fun with these. Since you are physical apart, I believe that mutual trust is the most important thing. All you can do is give her reasons to keep trusting you.

It would be great if he did the same. But that's your business. So all you can do is do your best to let him know "I still love". I think the only way is to have a strong bond of trust.

Next.

I will choose one.

Because I like orange. (referring to the questionnaire, it is orange)

Qns2: I'm in my 30s and someone 10 years younger than me told me they liked me. That I have to do?

LJS: That is a difficult situation.

I think the first thing you need to do is find out how deep his feelings are. There are many real problems that can arise from the 10-year age gap.

He probably just got out of the military and goes back to school, then he'll get a job. I don't know if he's planning to get married, but if he is, there may be problems while he's dating, so before I start anything, I think you should have an idea of ​​how serious he is. That's it.

Next.

Here's the Spanish translation of Lee Jong Suk's Elle Korea for the March 2021 issue.

"Love counseling with Lee Jong Suk"

Love? Have a date? Perfect boy? Lee Jong Suk will tell you everything!

Qns3: I want to tell someone how I feel. What is the best way to do it?

LJS: There are so many different ways.

You can be more subtle and try to show how you feel. Saying it out loud or sending a text message is a bit embarrassing. And depending on your choice of words, it can be mysteriously interpreted.

How about writing a letter? Make sure to correct the spelling. That can be a huge detour. I get tense in front of the person I like and cannot speak properly.

Qns4: How can I speak more comfortably?

LJS: Well for me, even doing this interview makes me really anxious.

My fans know this, but when I speak at fan meetings, I feel quite comfortable. The reason is because it is comforting to know that the people in front of you like you.

If you are anxious, I think it may be part of your charm to show it. If someone tells me that they like me and are looking forward to it, I would find it very charming.

This is hard. (To laugh)

Qns5: Maybe it's because I haven't dated in a while, but I feel like my love cells are dead.

LJS: What can I do about it? That's too bad.

If you have a prolonged dry period, do your love cells die?

I don't think you have met anyone who makes your heart beat. At some point, you will meet someone who will make you think, "What is this feeling?" and then those cells will come back to life.

Qns6: Someone told me that he likes me and that I want to reject him without hurting me.

LJS: I don't think that's possible. I think it is always better to be very clear.

Also, even if you reject them, you need to keep an eye on how sincere your feelings are. If the person turns around and becomes hostile about it, I would think, "Oh, did they really love me?"

After rejecting them, take another look at it. They may turn out to be really cool. You can reconsider your decision.

Tricky question

Qns7: Does love exist? Seriously?

LJS: Of course, love exists.

Of course.

I believe that it exists moment by moment rather than forever. Not only with a lover, there are different ways of it, but the feeling that is exerted in those different moments is love.

Actually, it is a difficult question.

Qns8: Is the destination predetermined? Or do you do it?

LJS: Destiny ... destiny ... destiny ... (sings)

They say that love is the right time, so a part of me thinks things start with a coincidence. But I also believe that you can create it yourself.

That's it ... Depends on how much you want it.

Love? Have a date? Perfect boy? Lee Jong Suk will tell you everything!

Qns9: I am in a relationship and I want to keep things fresh and romantic.

LJS: I think that to continue like this, you can never take for granted the things you receive from your partner. Be it your feelings or your gifts, even if it is something as small as a flower.

There is a process: they thought of me, they went to the florist, they picked a flower, they thought of the meaning. If you think about the process, I think you will feel closer.

That's one way to keep things alive longer. It's something you can force. Hold on to what you are feeling now, and later on, you can look back and remind yourself.

All of these are really difficult. (To laugh)

Qns10: Someone who I love virsus someone who loves me.

LJS: In my opinion, because I am someone who receives a lot of love from my "fans", it is really a joy to be loved.

If I had to choose one, I would go with someone who loves me. It's really comforting to know that they understand me and cheer me on.

Yes.

Qns11: I want to give a gift to a guy I'm not dating yet.

LJS: Recommendations?

Something I recently bought, this is not an advertisement. There is a new razor that is heating up and you get a warning. I think it's very good. That or a knee pad massager! If the person you like is someone who likes to exercise, that could be a thoughtful gift that isn't really obvious.

Qns12: There is someone I like and I want to know if they feel the same.

Los: This one is difficult.

I wonder if this person can feel it. When you talk to the person, you will probably have a feeling if the person is leaving the door open.

For example, if you are texting and you ask a question and they respond with a period or an exclamation point and the conversation ends, then you can assume that the person is not interested in you that way.

But if the conversation continues back and forth, you can tell that person is somewhat interested.

Do what you want with it.

Last question.

Finally.

This is my first time doing something like this. It is fun but difficult.

Qns13: What is a "geinuino man" according to Lee Jong Suk?

LJS: This question really came to the end!

Woof. A genuine man.

I don't want my answer to be too obvious. Someone who gives their partner no reason for doubt or suspicion to begin with.

Someone whose presence alone can cut your anxiety in half.

But I guess that depends more on you than the boy. Trusting someone so much.

A genuine man I am ... Me! (To laugh)

That has been a relationship advice with Lee Jong Suk.

Please like and subscribe to ELLE.

I'm leaving now. Bye!

The end.

B

[catsafarithewriter]

Vampire AU: "You can't just turn into a bat and fly away when you don't want to deal with things!" "Watch me!"

A/N: I am living for all the Vampire AU prompts you’re sending

x

Haru had had this holiday planned for months. 

She’d booked the weekend off in February, the site in March; she’d even made a nice little list of things they’d need, and things they’d want, and things they’d almost certainly forget if she didn’t put it down on paper. 

In short, she had had this camping holiday planned long before Baron had come into the picture. 

And vampire-sitting wasn’t on any of the lists.

“It’s just a holiday,” she assured as she threw a handful of clothes into her rucksack. “I’ll be away for a few days and then I’ll be back, no biggie.”

“No… biggie?” Baron echoed skeptically. 

“There’s literally nothing for you to worry about,” she translated. “In fact, I’ll be far more worried about leaving you behind - and no,” she quickly added, “that doesn’t mean I’ve changed my mind and you can come. My holiday. My two days of peace and quiet. You just stay here and stew in front of the TV watching soap operas for two days. Please.”

“I still don’t entirely understand the point of your excursion. You are staying out in the woods in a rickety tent for… what? What kind of holy day requires this sort of ritual?”

“I said it’s a holiday, not a holy day, what are you–” She broke off. “Good god, you don’t know what a holiday is, do you?”

Baron, as usual, looked somewhat affronted at having his outdated vocabulary criticised again. “If words have adapted in the last 400 years, I hardly think it is a surprise–”

“You don’t. You poor, poor man.” She hesitated, and then amended, “Creature. Monster? Look, I’m not entirely sure what to refer to you as - and, no, ‘monster of the night’ is far too much of a mouthful and I’m not saying it. Okay, I’m going away for the weekend to get away from work and responsibilities and I’m going to have fun. That’s what a holiday is.” 

Baron started to speak again. 

“A vampire-free weekend,” she added.

“I still feel it is highly inadvisable for a young lady to spend several nights sleeping the woods.”

“Just as well I’m not taking advice then, isn’t it? And stop pouting - I’m not going alone. Hiromi’s coming with me.”

“Ah yes. Hiromi.”

“You could sound less like you’re dribbling the name off your tongue. What do you have against her? You only ever met her once.”

Baron hesitated. “She… creeps me out.”

“You. The ‘monster of the night’. Are creeped out by my tiny friend. I left you in the same room together alone for all of two minutes. What happened??”

Baron’s mouth thinned. Haru recognised that look. 

“Oh dear, was she not instinctively terrified and reverential to your impressive vampire aura?” she crooned. “What a shocker. How traumatic that must have been for you–”

“I have spent enough time in this century to recognise sarcasm, Haru.”

“Oh thank goodness. You’re finally getting a sense of humour.” 

“That’s not–” He scowled again. “I still don’t like this.”

“That’s fine. I’m still going.” She threw her rucksack over her shoulder just as a car horn announced her ride’s arrival. “Try not to eat all the prunes in the first day, okay? I haven’t left you any grocery money.” 

“I don’t need money.”

She bapped him on the nose the same way she did with naughty dogs. “No stealing into shops in the dead of night and raiding them. If any robberies get traced back here, I will not help you.”

“Don’t worry. They’ll never trace it back here.”

Haru stared. “That’s not what I meant – look, just behave, okay? You can surely do that for a weekend, right? Please?” 

Baron’s mouth was thin, but in defeat this time. “I will not cause chaos here while you’re gone.”

“Close enough.”

x

The air in the forest was almost like the air Baron remembered from his life pre-400-year-nap. There was no need to breathe for him, but he could still taste the discrepancies in the breeze, the clarity far from cars and cities and people. Wild. Untamed. Free…

A bundle of hikers popped out from a thicket of ferns and blindly relocated the path. One of them held the remains of a map. The human with the map approached Baron. Yet another human who had somehow lost that vital survival instinct. 

“Hey, I don’t suppose you know whereabouts we are on here?” the woman asked, thrusting the torn paper towards him. 

He flashed her a fanged smile. “You’re in the monster’s lair.”

“Hmm, no, I don’t think so… I think the Devil’s Punchbowl was down that way, so…” She turned the map around a few times. “Yeah, the sun is that way, and the valley is behind us, so east is…” 

“Don’t you know what I am?” he tried again, injecting a slight growl into the curve of his words.  

“Very bad at directions, apparently.” 

“I’ve got signal!” One of the other humans hurried forward and brought their phone into the light, carefully as if carrying some hallowed item. “It seems to think we’re… here. Don’t-don’t move it, or I’ll lost it again, but…”

Baron caught sight of a miniaturised map on the phone screen, a small blue dot flashing in the centre. 

The woman shot Baron back a smile, all blunt teeth and useless canines, and nodded politely. “Looks like we’ve got our bearings. Do you need directions somewhere or…”

“I don’t need your help.” 

She raised an eyebrow. “Sure, but you probably should be moving soon. It’s getting dark and you probably shouldn’t be in these woods alone at night.”

Baron watched the hikers vanish into the undergrowth with a fresh layer of incredulity. His mind rebooted after the last of the ferns rustled back into place. “I’m the scariest thing in this forest!” he snapped. 

The forest didn’t seem too impressed.

A squirrel ran along the tree roots and paused to pick at acorns scattering the forest floor. Baron bared his fangs in a snarl. The squirrel continued on unaffected. 

In the end, Baron threw an acorn at it to make it leave. 

Twice. 

The first one missed and the squirrel actually stopped to pick at it, and almost approached Baron to see if he’d give another. The second acorn still missed, but was close enough to startle the creature. 

Maybe the problem wasn’t humans. Maybe after 400 years, he was just losing his touch. 

He glowered and leapt up into the trees, scaling the trunks and moving silently through the canopy until he came to the tent where Haru and her… friend were staying the next two nights.

He wasn’t following Haru. Of course he wasn’t. He just… had thought that an evening stroll into a wood would be a nice change of pace. If it happened to be the same forest Haru was staying in and he just happened to pass by, well then, it was only natural to stick around and make sure she was okay. After all, she was his host. If he lost her, he’d had to find somewhere else to live. With someone who maybe didn’t have the channels with good soap operas, or who didn’t buy him tinned prunes, or who didn’t tell him how their day had gone while they were cooking and laugh at odd things that the 21st Century deemed funny and curl up like a housecat while reading.

And that would be a shame. 

Night was fast drawing in, even with the long summer days, and the two women had set several lanterns in a loose circle around their tent. Their little temporary home was a gentle patch of light in the otherwise shadowed forest. Like a little moon. 

Baron perched in a tree just beyond the lanterns’ glow and kept guard, his back to them as he watched the forest for any hidden dangers. Their conversation - louder than the conversation Haru and Baron usually shared, rambunctious and bouncy - was a strange sort of company for him, but not one he disliked. Eventually they gave in against sleep and retired into their tent and it was just Baron, sleepless and eternal. 

He dropped down to the ground, approaching to stomp out the last embers of the fire, and hit a wall. 

No. Not a wall. But definitely a barrier of some type. 

He circled the makeshift campsite, but the barrier seemed to encompass the entirety of the shared women’s tent - including the fire. He stepped back and re-examined his surroundings, eventually resting his gaze on the lanterns. They were placed evenly around the tent - too evenly. Too precisely. He lowered his gaze and now saw marks in the ground - carved out with a stick, most likely - to create a warding spell. Designed to keep creatures like him out. 

But Haru knew no such magic…

“So what’s your deal, huh?” 

Haru’s friend was leaning casually against a tree trunk within the circle, still in pyjamas but with a chunky wooden stick slung over one shoulder. A stake. A glint of metal at its tip. Silver. 

Instinctively his mouth curled into a snarl, 

Hiromi swung the stake into her hands. “Oh, so you recognise this, do you? I used to have a much fancier one, family heirloom in fact, until it got… uh, stuck in a creature like you. Luckily the important details aren’t hard to replicate. Wooden stake, silver-tipped, a few important runes in place and bam. Perfect vampire-killer.”

“I knew there was something off about you.”

She laughed, presumably emboldened by the protection of her spell, and pointedly stared back at him. “Hark who’s talking. You’re not so hot yourself, slick. Now, how about you tell me what you’re doing with my best friend and I might reconsider staking you into permanent sleep.” 

“I’m not doing anything to her,” Baron retorted. “She’s my host.” He winced at the bad word choice, quick to correct himself. “Not in… not in a vampire way. She lets me stay with her.”

“Why?”

“Kindness, she told me.” 

Hiromi snorted, and all of Baron’s surprise at Haru’s reasoning felt a little belittled. “Naturally her kindness ends up inviting a vampire into her home. Naturally. God, I love her, but her kindness gets her into all sorts of chaos, you know?”

“If you know my kind as well as you boast, then you’ll know I haven’t touched Haru,” he said, his tone sharp, sharper still for the dismissal. “Even a single drink from a human leaves its marks.”

Hiromi glowered, and Baron could see she had already checked as much. “You’ll be drinking from someone.” 

“Do you really think I’d be foolish enough to drink from a person in a world I know so little about? Please,” he scoffed, mimicking the tone Haru had thrown so often at him. “Give me a little credit.”

“Then where are you drinking from?”

“There are other things vampires can survive on. Animal blood. Eggs.” He hesitated. “Prunes.” 

“Seriously?”

He allowed a flicker of irritation to darken his face. “Would I joke under such circumstances?”

“I don’t know. I’ve met several vampires with a sense of humour. And before you say anything,” she added, “I didn’t kill all of them. Only those with a fondness for human blood. Still, prunes are a first.”

“We all have our weaknesses,” Baron muttered. 

“Uh-huh, and one of yours may be my best friend.” She considered. “For whatever reason, Haru seems to… tolerate you to a surprising degree - I don’t know what she sees in you, because it certainly isn’t your humour or your manners or your personality–”

“Is this going somewhere?”

“–so I won’t tell you to get out of her place. But–” and she swung the stake so it rested between them, on the tip of the invisible barrier “–if you touch one hair on her head, one little drink, one single bite, if you give in to your vampire urges for even the briefest second, I will stake you, understand?”

“Perfectly.”

“Then we come to an understanding.”

“I’m not going to harm Haru. Even before your threat, I wasn’t going to harm her.”

Hiromi gave him a strange, searching look that Baron wasn’t entirely sure he liked. Like she understood him better than he understood himself in that single moment. Then the moment passed and she threw a bark of a laugh and turned away. “You should be going before all this wakes Haru up.”

“But–”

“What were you even doing here? She’s your host, sure. But the home she’s sharing with you is all the way over that way. Why come all the way out here?” Her eyes narrowed. “Unless you were thinking about a late night snack while away from the city…?”

Baron bristled at the accusation. Still, he wasn’t even entirely sure of the answer himself. “I… The forest is a dangerous place for humans.”

“Yes. Because of creatures like you.”

“Sometimes.” 

Hiromi smirked. “Well you needn’t have worried, if that’s true. If you can worry. Can you?” She shrugged and continued before Baron could muddle through an answer. “I can take down pretty much anything of your like. And a few others as well.” 

He eyed the stake. “Apparently.”

There was a grumble from the tent, followed by movement. 

Hiromi made a face. “Shit. Get going before we have to start explaining.” 

“You don’t tell me what to do.” 

The tent flap opened and Baron dissolved into a swarm of bats, vanishing before Haru could see his human shape. He lingered just long enough to see Hiromi’s smirk widen, and see Haru spot his bat form disappear into the dark. 

To echo Hiromi: Shit.

x

Haru found him early the next morning. 

The light was still low, long shadows cast through the forest canopy and just dim enough for Baron to remain safe from the rapidly warming sunlight. Lord, he hated summer. 

She stalked out of the tent, obliviously out of the protection spell, and stopped by the dip of a river. The water was caught in an eddy, courtesy of the rocks channelling it, and it churned like a… well, a punchbowl. As Haru sat down by its cooling side, he wondered if this was the Devil’s Punchbowl those infernal hikers had been rambling on about. 

“I know you’re there.”

He jolted, and was optimistic enough to think that maybe she was talking to somebody else. 

She shattered that illusion pretty quickly, dropping her head back in his general direction and adding, “Baron.” 

He dropped down from the trees, barely making a sound as he landed on the forest floor. “How did you know I was there?”

“I can always tell. It feels like someone walked over my grave.” She paused, and added, “And then there was last night.”

“Ah.”

“Did… Did Hiromi see you? Or did you stay in your bat form the entire time?”

He considered. If she didn’t know, then Hiromi hadn’t seen fit to inform Haru about her true occupation or her awareness of Baron’s. He considered revealing Hiromi’s monster-hunting life, but quickly discarded it. Haru had only seen his version of vampires - and however he wished to be rightfully intimidating, he was by far not the worst vampire out there. There were vampires out there that would make even his skin crawl. 

Vampires that Hiromi had probably encountered, if her boasts were anything to go by. Vampires her family almost certainly had. Tales of bloodlust and slaughters and a carelessness for human life that would turn the stomach of anyone humane. Tales that might be shared with Haru if Hiromi’s true life came to light. And Hiromi would have little reason to hide such stories from Haru. 

Stories that would change the way Haru looked at him. 

“Baron?” Haru gave an uneasy chuckle. “Oh god, tell me you didn’t do anything stupid. Again.”

“She didn’t see me,” he lied. 

“It was close though.”

He didn’t meet her eyes. “Close enough.”

“I can’t believe this. I told you to stay at my flat. You said you would behave–”

“I said I would not cause chaos in your flat,” Baron said. He helpfully gestured to their forested surroundings. “We are not in your flat.”

“I am going to kill you.” 

“You can’t.”

“Stake you, then.” She made a frustrated nonsense movement like she couldn’t quite decide which rude gesture to throw at him, and kind of spun on the spot. 

He smiled, and then looked away before she could see it. 

“How would I even begin to explain what you were doing all the way out here? ‘Heya, Hiromi, meet my flatmate, he stalks me but it’s fine, I promise. Sleep? Oh no, he doesn’t sleep - he’ll just turn into a swarm of bats and hang around until daybreak.’ I mean, honestly, what was I going to – what are you grinning about? I’m being serious here!”

“I know.” 

“Then what’s so funny?”

He looked back to her, and wasn’t sure how to explain it wasn’t humour, but a strange sensation of contentedness. It was a fondness for the familiarity he saw in her. It was in her bluster, her teasing tone, the tilt of her head and the flicker of her eyes. He knew exactly where he stood with her in this exact moment, and it wasn’t because of his ability to intimidate, but because of her. 

He said none of this, however.

“Did I ever thank you for giving me a place to stay?” he said instead. 

“Maybe. I don’t know.” She shrugged. “I’d kinda stopped expecting it.”

“Then thank you.”

A surprised tilt of the head. A funny half-smile on her lips. “You’re welcome?”

Suddenly Baron knew that if he were still human, he’d be blushing right about now. As things went, he couldn’t be sure his expression wasn’t betraying just as much anyway. He looked away again. “Well, I can see you’re managing just fine without me, so I’ll just be going--”

“Wait, wait, you’re still in trouble for stalking me here--”

His form began to shift, deliberately slow enough so that realisation could hit Haru before he dissolved into a swarm of bats. 

“Hey! You can’t just turn into a bat and fly away when you don’t want to deal with things!” she snapped. “Baron!”

He grinned before his face vanished in a haze of wings and fur. “Watch me.”

[sidwurm-archive]

「📱: txt. ⟪ SID & MAX. ⟫」

Sid [4.33pm]: yo, culdnt get hrs so ill b on campus 2n. so fyi if things get wierd w/jim n u domt wana do somthing i can play 3rd weel. ps dont sweat the crown shit. lyd ashers [...] (1/2)

Sid [4.33pm]: [...] gonna cream u. u can jus leav + com here if ur woried tho i geuss. i m prety sur no1 likes u but u cant get flashbax if u aint dere 2 get triggerd (2/2)

[punkscowardschampions]

Jude & Jac

Jude: [a boy's socials] Jude: what classes you got with him? Jac: A few, unfortunately Jac: French, chem, oh, and sociology Jac: why? Jude: 🤔 didn't reckon he'd take French Jude: bit weird Jude: trying to get a feel for if I wanna 👍 or 👎 his invite out Jac: Better than German Jac: those boys are freaks Jac: Where to? Jude: Yeah, that would've been a hard no instead of an eh 😑 might do Jude: to see some band I ain't heard of Jude: so why the 'unfortunately' then? Jac: Adds up Jac: he's like, beyond pretentious Jac: he tries well hard with his accent Jac: but you know 🤷 Jac: doubt he's going to mansplain social theories to you at a gig Jude: oh great Jude: love being seduced in the pluperfect tense Jac: 😏 Jac: who doesn't Jude: c'est well fit 😍 Jac: his friend is cuter Jude: bit rude to ask him out OR a power move? 😏 Jac: can read some Camus or Sartre and 😢 can't he Jac: be thrilled, if anything Jude: will see you at the gig, mate, just with your mate instead Jude: you're welcome, like Jude: 🤣 Jac: Know the vague subtweets about betrayal and disappointment are about you then Jude: he has got a good mouth for that weird r thing the French do though Jude: I'd give it a 7/10 as my fave bit Jac: a language made for pouting Jac: works for Bardot, less sure about him but I see it Jude: [sends her the soundcloud or whatever for the band] Jude: errr Jac: 😶 Jac: that's Jac: a choice Jude: I don't think I need any more of that in my life Jac: but we all loved when your last would bring his guitar 'round Jude: soz that I'm following in ma's epic muse footsteps & you're not Jac: I'm devastated, truly Jac: would love a song written about me by a boy who has to ask how you spell all the 💕 😂 Jude: I miss him Jac: Do you? Jude: he don't miss me so I can't Jac: 😟 awh, babe Jude: wasn't it good? how am I the only one who reckons we were? Jac: maybe it was at the time Jac: but you can't go back Jude: maybe it was til she moved in over the road from him Jac: well Jac: you don't wanna be second best do you Jude: nah Jac: there you go then Jac: move on, or you'll look so tragic, right? Jude: the mate then Jude: 👍 Jac: exactly Jac: though that concert will be Jac: bring 🎧 Jude: I'll just invite him round or something Jac: I'll make sure I'm out Jac: good luck with Cam and Jam though 👌🙄 Jude: chuck some 🎧 at him so he can't hear 'em pissing about Jac: 🤞 my fingers for you that the boys aren't over too Jac: though they might be more mature, as toddlers 😏 Jude: dragging him on the longest ever dog walk ✌ that'd be so casual & not at all weird Jac: Totally Jac: worked for Dad 🤷 Jude: I won't go ahead & mention that to this poor lad Jac: bit keen Jac: 😍🤡🔪💘 Jude: So go on, what do you know about him? Jac: You'll like him Jac: way more chill Jude: 👌 not mad about that Jac: Is went out with him but it was chill Jac: so that's like no drama, just letting you know beforehand Jude: Yeah? cos that sounds like she's gonna come at me 🔪🔪🔪 ngl Jac: Not even Jac: I could ask her but you're only hanging out and that's pretty much all they did Jude: long as she's not 💔💔💔 Jude: not trying to do any of your mates dirty Jac: No way ❤ Jude: he might not wanna hang anyway, having been out with her Jac: Why not? Jac: They were such a mismatch Jude: according to her or him? Jac: Both of them Jac: it wasn't a mood Jude: alright, trusting you that I won't end up being mugged off when I ask him over Jac: Totally Jac: unless his friend has already tried to lay claims Jac: 😬 Jude: 😒 nah you don't, boy Jude: we ain't there yet or gonna be there Jac: Boys are well extra Jude: if I need to have a word with him, I will Jac: 🤜🤕😂 Jude: c'est la mood Jac: wanna do my translation homework? Jude: do you wanna get detention? Jude: would be a mood too probably Jude: all those bad boys Jac: 😏 If I wanna, I'll think of a better way to get there, I reckon Jude: c'est your life Jac: merci Jude: he said yeah Jude: not oui thankfully Jac: 😘 Jac: told ya Jude: you do know things Jac: It's a gift and a curse Jude: won't get the 🎻s out unless he's a massive twat Jac: How bad could he be Jac: not gonna do you like that Jude: true Jac: not gonna steer you from un dickhead to another Jude: 🤞 Jude: how many times did he hang with Izzy? Jac: I don't even remember honestly Jude: 🙄😏 Jude: take back what I said about you being in the know Jac: Cheek Jac: got my own life and boys, thank you 😘 Jude: but I've rushed this a bit & as my big sister it's your job to look out for me Jude: 🤣 Jac: Oh please Jac: Is is THE sweetest Jude: she's not the worst mate you've had Jude: solid 6 Jac: I'll tell her Jac: along with the news you're stealing her man 😉 Jude: bump her up to an 8/10 to soften the 🥊 Jude: but know I'm lying Jac: What about Sav? 🤔👀 Jude: 🤷 Jude: about the same Jude: 5 or 6 Jac: What did she do to you to -1? Jude: I like to be the 📢 one in the room Jac: I know Jac: 🎧 x lifetime supply Jude: if that's his type though Jude: I'm set up Jac: Well his mate is well chatty en Francais or otherwise so he clearly doesn't mind Jude: 😝 Jac: Oh, gotta go Jac: facetime call 🤙❤ Jude: no worries Jac: Tell me how it goes 🐕🎧💕 Jude: 🙄😏

[skys813]

Discovery

Chapter 5 (Arc Finale)

Me: Before we start, is there anything you'd like to say, Anxiety?

Anxiety: *gives me a hard look and then looks away* No.

Me: I see. Let's begin, then. Over the past couple of weeks we've been struggling to deal with a new possibility. I'm aware that in every happy reality Research conjured for us we were in a romantic relationship with implied sexual undertones. The new possibility suggests that we don't find a romantic or sexual partner in the future. Up until now it's only been a vague suggestion, however, after further examination, I thought it would be best to bring it to the council's attention as a legitimate possible plan for the future.

Anxiety: I don't see why this is relevant given that Sexuality is obviously a lesbian. Haven't we been over this already?

Me: Actually, we haven't. That was a suggestion you made, not a fact of life. Which brings us to our first issue; determining Sexuality's true orientation. I'd like to bring some memories to the front if you don't mind. Let's start with a few questions I asked after I first learned what sex was. "Do I have to? Can I be married without doing it? Can I have kids without doing it?" Our first reaction was aversion. Of course, that's normal at the beginning, but those feelings never went away. Instead, it changed to reluctant acceptance that this is what would happen to us. The truth is that we never felt sexual attraction towards anyone, regardless of their gender. We knew instinctively we wouldn't like sex in any form, but we pushed the feeling down and convinced ourselves that it'd be fine and we'd just have to do this for love.

Love: Is that not true? The only lifelong bond that allows us to be as invested and dedicated as we wish to be is a romantic one. Friendship can be strong, but it's not the same, Sky. We would not be prioritized the same way, you can't expect that of someone. If they have a romantic relationship with someone else, they have to prioritize that person above you, regardless of how close you get. Only a romantic bond guarantees you that level of trust and faith in each other. The exclusivity.

Me: I understand and accept that we wouldn't always be prioritized above the person's romantic relationship, but the rest is simply not true. It's possible. Research, if you'd be a dear, and pull up the definitions of a Queerplatonic Relationship and a Zucchini.

Research: A Queerplatonic relationship is defined as "a committed relationship that is neither romantic nor sexual in nature but is based on an emotional bond beyond friendship, often between aromantic and/or asexual people" (AVEN, General FAQ, Definitions). "A zucchini is a partner in a queerplatonic relationship. The commitment level between partners is often considered to be similar to that of a romantic relationship, but with platonic love. Zucchinis may be of any romantic or sexual orientation" (AVENwiki).

Me: Thank you, darling. As you can see, it's entirely possible. In fact, it's so possible and has been felt and established by enough people that there are terms to describe the relationship we want. That's what we were looking for all these years, not some romantic relationship, much less a sexual one.

Anxiety: I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you've only proven sexuality is ace. Romance has been on board waiting for Prince to show up since day one. And we already agreed that Sexuality's orientation would be irrelevant to us in such a scenario as we would want him to be fully satisfied in the relationship.

Me: Romance hasn't actually been very vocal about her desires, she's been going along with whatever you and Research determined would be the best scenario. Again, let's pull up some memory files. First, there was her "crush," which she picked out for us much like one would pick out fruit at a stand, and is also a shared experience among other aromantics. We were never jealous of his relationship with our best friend or hurt by it, but instead helped them with arguments and were happy for them when they were happy. She shies away from any possible romantic partners under the guise of obeying our parents and religion when we all know full well we're stubborn and reckless enough that if we had ever desired such a relationship we would've acted on it by now. But we haven't.

Anxiety: Because no one has been worth the risk! We just haven't had the chance to meet the right person and it was never the right time before. We were too young.

Me: No one? When was the last time you saw Romance actually consider anyone as a potential partner?

Anxiety: That's because we're waiting for Prince, no one else is worth considering.

Me: That makes no sense and you know it. We can't find him if we never look. And Romance isn't interested enough to look in the first place. The fact of the matter is that she hasn't been active since we finally settled comfortably in our relationship. We might not use fancy terminology, but that's the nature of the bond we established with our best friend. The meaning we agreed upon for the relationship is the same as the one listed for queerplatonic relationships.

Anxiety: It's just too risky, it's irresponsible to put all your eggs in one basket like that. Friendships are fragile and fleeting-

Me: So is every other relationship. Friendships are not less than other bonds, they're equal and valid and they are what you make them. I believe in this one.

Anxiety: Fine. Don't listen to reason, whatever. But you might want to consider Love's needs and that certain aspects of our dreams would be off the table right off the bat if we went along with this madness, such as children and the home life we were so desperate to create one day. That's a dream you can't deny. You can't adopt children in a platonic relationship, so unless you plan on being a hypocrite and going out to have sex, praying not to catch an STD, and hoping to get pregnant that way, children would be completely off the table for us.

Me: First of all, it wouldn't be hypocritical, asexual people can have sex. But I do agree that that option is extremely unappealing all around. However, it wouldn't be as big a deal as you're making it out to be. Our motherly instincts can still be fulfilled if we add the found family element; we'd build a group of friends and mother them just like we used to. Love, how do you feel about that?

Love: I want children. We've always wanted children, I can't let go of that dream overnight. Mothering some friends isn't the same, I don't know if it'll be enough. I can agree to build new visions and scrap the old ones and incorporate Sexuality and Romance's identities, but you can't ever expect me to stop wanting children. I'm sorry.

Me: Don't be, it's who you are. Thank you for being so understanding. Research, what do you think?

Research: To be absolutely frank with you, I'm glad this is who we are. No husband to tie us down, fewer responsibilities, financial independence. It spells out a lot of opportunities to explore the world that we might not have had otherwise. And, no offense, Love, but children are expensive as hell. Our horizons just quadrupled without that financial and emotional burden. I vote yes.

*an awkward pause where Anxiety fumes on the side and refuses to say anything*

Me: .......Anxiety?

Anxiety: I'm the one who played the dreams. Are you happy now? You were right all along, and I was wrong. We're aro ace.

Me: I know.

Anxiety: *head snaps up* What?! You knew? How? And how long have you known? Why didn't you say anything?

Me: I think the meeting's done now, let's continue this privately. Love, Research, please act according to the council's decision and inform everyone of the verdict. Thank you. Anxiety, walk with me, darling.

Then.....

Sexuality blinks sleepy eyes open and looks around. Someone is by her bedside that she's only ever seen from afar. She tentatively lifts her hand and runs her fingers through Libido's hair. Her birthmate. What was she doing here? Libido stirs and murmurs something incoherent in her sleep before slowly opening her eyes to look back at Sexuality. Libido smiles softly.

Libido: You're finally awake. *jerks up frantically* Oh shit, you're awake! Oh my God, how're you feeling? Are you okay? Does anything hurt? Who do you want me to get for you? Do you want some water? Of course you want some water, what am I thinking-

Sexuality grabs Libido's sleeve as she makes to get up. Libido looks back, concerned and on the verge of panic. Sexuality shakes her head and tugs Libido back to her side.

Libido: Are you sure you don't want me to get you some food and water? You've been out of it for a while.

Sexuality shakes her head again and tugs Libido back down into her chair.

Libido: Okay, then. Um. Let's see, how do you usually communicate with Romance?

Sexuality: *gestures in sign language*

Libido: Oh, yeah, that makes sense. I don't know any signs though. Do you want me to get Research? They might be able to translate. Actually, they'll know what to do about all of this and what you need and-

Sexuality grabs and squeezes Libido's hand and she falls silent. Sexuality smiles briefly and shuts her eyes.

Libido: Oh. You're tired, yeah, that makes sense, too. Sorry about all that. Go back to sleep, sweetie. I'll notify the others when you're ready.

It was a while later before Libido realized that Sexuality had been fully aware and responsive during those few minutes without throwing up. On top of that, she'd made contact with Libido without any noticeable harm befalling her. Sexuality was, at long last, fully recovered.

Meanwhile.....

I walk with Anxiety down to his room. It resembles a library, but instead of books, there are notebooks, each and every one of them filled to the brim with scribbles and half-finished thoughts.

Anxiety: Welcome to my lair, oh annoying one. Have a seat.

Me: I think we need to discuss why you're so against us being aro ace.

Anxiety: I already made it very clear-

Me: The real reason, Anxiety.

Anxiety glowers at me for a few minutes. I don't look away and he finally backs down grudgingly.

Anxiety: *sigh* Do you remember what we were like when we were a kid? What we thought of ourself?

Me: How can I forget? I was the brattiest, most arrogant child I've ever had the displeasure of having to think about.

Anxiety: *shakes his head* I mean before Prince, specifically. We were in a low place and we had accepted that we would die old, bitter, and alone. I just don't want us to go back to that again. It was devastating enough the first time around for all of us. At least like this, it would've only hurt Sexuality and Romance.

Me: Anxiety, listen to me. We are not who we were five years ago. That vision of the future was built on self-hatred and hopelessness, that's why it looked like a doomsday vision. This time we're rebuilding to take care of ourself and every aspect of who we are. We don't have to sacrifice Sexuality and Romance to be happy. We can just build a future that makes all of us happy by accommodating them too. We would've never been happy if we'd tried to suppress them.

Anxiety: *shakes his head stubbornly* We can revert right back to where we were, not enough has changed, not nearly enough. I've just collected more reasons to hate ourself since then, there's no guarantee it won't happen.

Me: *eyes sharp, trying to casually scan the notebooks* There is one thing we could always do..... If you'd allow us, I mean.

Anxiety: *torn between hope and trepidation* Like what exactly?

Me: Burn them.

Anxiety: *stands up and positions himself between me and the nearest shelf* Get out. Get out right now!

Me: *stays seated calmly with my eyes fixed on his* Only the notebooks where you write all our faults. The memories would all stay intact. All your other notebooks would stay exactly where they are. I'm only suggesting we let go of the guilt. Those notebooks are as old as I am, cataloging every tiny mistake we've ever made, every embarrassing thing we've ever done, every regret. You're absolutely right, we can't move forward until we've let go of all of that. We have to move forward, Anxiety. The council has come to a decision. Something has to give or we really might revert back to what we were before.

Anxiety: Then we would've learned nothing! Do you want to repeat all the mistakes we've made?

Me: A gentle reminder that you're the reason we made some of the more serious mistakes.

Anxiety: Don't you think I know that? That's why I refuse to let go of them. If we never forget, if we never stop regretting them and feeling guilty for them, then we'll make up for it and we'll never do those things again.

Me: Darling, that's ridiculous. You do realize that you've written down things as small as chopping the wrong vegetable by accident at our job, right? And the serious errors in judgment are almost all from our childhood, from years ago. We've grown, we've changed, and we're past that now. We can't stay this way forever, hating ourselves for every tiny inconvenience we've ever caused anyone. Please, Anxiety, we have to burn those notebooks.

Anxiety: No. You don't understand. We can't! No! *clutches at his head and his breathing becomes shallow and rapid* I can't. You can't. I can't.

Me: Anxiety? *gets up slowly* Are you okay?

Anxiety: No! We can't! We'll never be good enough. We'll never be happy. You can't erase the past. We're horrible, can't you see that? So horrible. Horrible. Horrible!

I notice a smoky shape formed behind Anxiety, whispering in his ear and grinning at me. The time for conversation is over. I carefully sidestep Anxiety who is too wrapped up in his sobbing to notice my movement and try to punch at the shadow. My hand goes right through it. Right, then. Those notebooks need to burn. Now. I step behind them slowly. The creature turns to watch me but continues whispering to Anxiety. I reach for a random notebook to test out the waters. No reaction besides a widening smirk. Good. I quickly scan through the notebooks until I find the section I need before looking up again. The shadow is still, watching me with a contemplative frown while Anxiety drops to hug his knees and hide his face as he cries. I collect the notebooks loosely in my arms, carefully noting how tense the shadow is getting. It stands between me and the door. I had a feeling it would find a way to stop me if it wanted to, smoke or not. I edge my way back to the table and set the notebooks down. The creature relaxes. I sit down and pretended to start reading one. After a few moments, it loses interest in me and goes back to tormenting Anxiety. It starts to whisper faster, progressively more aggressive. When it looks to be distracted enough, I grab the notebooks and run. I hear a shriek of anger not long after but it doesn't follow me. I run and run until I reach the common room and dump the notebooks on the floor.

Me: Research, get over here! I need lighter fuel! Love, if you could grab a lighter for me, that'd be great! Now!

They get up from the couch without a word and go about getting the requested items as I start tearing the notebooks apart. By the time they get back, I've torn haphazardly through the notebooks and stacked them in a hollow pyramid shape. Research douses them all and I give Love a handful of paper to light before I carefully place them under the rest and watch the fire spread. Anxiety rushes into the room with a much-faded version of the shadow I'd seen behind him, but by then even the topmost of the pyramid had caught fire. The creature shrieks and Anxiety faints into Research's arms.

Research: *sighs* I should've known something like this would happen. I'll take him to the infirmary.

Love: What just happened? Who's Research taking to the infirmary and what did we just set on fire?

Me: Don't worry, Love, everything's going to be okay now. C'mon, let's sit down and I'll tell you everything.

Then.....

Romance jerks awake gasping and clutching at her neck and chest and starts coughing. Sensuality rushes into her room and gives her a crushing hug.

Sensuality: You're alive! You're awake! Oh thank God, I won't be left with just Aesthetic for company!

Aesthetic: Hey! I can hear you, you know. And good grief, get off her before you really kill her. Welcome back, Romance. How're you feeling?

Romance: *gestures for water*

Sensuality: I got you, just a second. *runs out of the room*

Aesthetic: *hands Romance her board and marker* Figured you'd have a lot to say after being out of it for so long. Wanna elaborate on the whole "help Anxiety" message you left? Cause it really didn't help, for the record. What'd you want us to do, tie you and Sexuality up and dump you in the basement for him?

Romance rolls her eyes as Sensuality comes back in and accepts a glass of water with a quick nod of thanks. She downs the whole glass in three giant gulps and sets it down before relaxing back against her pillows a bit. She starts writing.

You're both idiots, for the record. I bet you didn't even try to figure out what I meant, just sat around worrying as usual. It's alright, someone must've figured it out since I'm awake now. We'll all hear the story in detail, I'm sure. Right now, though, I'd much rather discuss Sexuality. Is she okay?

Sensuality: Well......I mean, she's definitely safe now, we made sure of it, right Aesthetic?

Aesthetic: *nods her head with a smile* Don't worry, Romance, we took care of our little sister. She's safe.

Romance: *relaxes a bit more*

Good. At least you did something right. Who's guarding her? Libido, right?

Sensuality: *shocked* Yeah, actually, how'd you know? I thought you'd be upset.

Romance: *smiles* *writes*

They were never meant to be apart. They're different, but they're still birthmates. You know how strong that bond is. They'll figure it out. They just need time. We all do.