#don't @ me please
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teaboot · 3 months ago
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Okay so I'm a security guard, right
And part of why I like my job is cause I'm pretty good at deescalating conflicts without violence or police involvement
And that *might* be because my primary coping mechanism for stress is humor, and if the guy in the uniform isn't stressed out, usually nobody else is either
But anyhow today I witnessed a crime, which 911 had already been called for
And I'm telling the guy, you know, as he's running away, that nobody's gonna touch him, we don't do that here, I don't have any weapons and he can totally walk on out if he wants to
And he gives me this 'go-fuck-yourself" type answer, right? As you do
And I fucking
I fucking. Start danCING
I DONT KNOW WHY
I WAS JUST LIKE "aight guess I'll go fuck myself then, cheerio" AND START FUCKING DANCING
LIKE MY BRAIN WAS LIKE "Cool not being attacked, gotta keep the witnessed calm, gotta stay chill and breezy" AND THE PHYSICAL RESPONSE FOR THAT WAS TO SYART DOING THIS SASSY FUCKING JIG
I DIDNT EVEN REALIZR I WAS FDOUNG IT UNTIL SOMEONE POIU TED IT OUT AFTER
and it all ended fine and the dude is in custody and I get a call from my boss like "Yeah we're gonna need to send footage to police"
AND
FUCKING
THIS IS GOING TO BE SHOWN IN COURT SOMEWHERE
IM DOUNG A SRUPID LITTLE DANCE ON CAMERA AS THIS GUY LOSES HIS MIND AND ITS GONNA BE ON COURT SOMEWHERW
THIS IS THE STUPIDEST FUCKING THING IVE WVER DONE
I HATE MYSELFD
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twinliches · 8 months ago
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i had a dream that time travel was invented and too many people choose to travel back in time to save the titanic from sinking (the question of whether unsinking of the titanic deserved so much attention in the face of human history was the subject of both heavy academic and online discourse), which caused a rift in the space-time-continuum that led to the titanic showing up indiscriminately all over the world’s oceans and sea in various states of sinking.
this caused a lot of issues both in terms of fixing said space-time-continuum and in terms of nautical navigation, and after a long and heavy battle in the international maritime organization it was decided that the bureaucratic burden of dealing with this was to be upon Ireland, much to their dismay. the Irish Government then released an app for all sailors and seafarers so they could report titanic sightings during their journeys, even though they heavily dissuaded you from reporting them given the paperwork it caused.
anyway i woke up with a clear image of the app in my head and needed to recreate it for all of you:
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hansoeii · 3 months ago
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It was affection.
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artemisdesari-blog · 5 months ago
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A writer friend told me something that broke my heart a little bit today; they're going to quit publishing their fanfic.
My instant thought was that they had been trolled or attacked or that something terrible had happened in their life because this person is so passionate about their writing. It wasn't any of that. Engagement with their works has been going down, as it has for many of us. Comments are like gold dust a lot of the time, and just looking through the historical comment counts on old fics on ao3 demonstrates this trend very clearly. It was not simply the comments dropping off which caused them to decide to stop posting, however.
My friend came across a discord server for their fandom (I should point out here that their fandom interest and mine diverged a couple of years ago, we stay in touch but don't currently read each other's posts because I'm not into their fandom and they would rather gouge their eyes out with a wooden spoon than read anything Star Wars) and specifically to share fic in that fandom. They joined, because we all love a good fic rec, only to discover that their latest multichapter fic, which has almost no comments and very few kudos, is being hotly discussed in this server as one of the best stories ever. Not one of these people has bothered to say this to them on the fic. When they asked, none of participants could see the point in telling the author of the fic they apparently loved so much that they love it.
This discovery has absolutely destroyed my friend's love of sharing fic. They share because they love seeing other people's enjoyment, and fic writers do that through comments and kudos/reblogs/likes because we don't get paid. There is no literary critic writing a blog post/article about how amazing the story is for us to copy and keep/frame. There is no money from royalties. All we have are the words of the people reading our works.
Those people on that server could have taken five minutes of the time they spent gushing about how amazing my friend's story was to other people and used it to tell the one person guaranteed to want to hear that praise how much they loved it. They could have taken a moment to express their opinion to the person who spent hours upon hours plotting, writing, editing, and posting those chapters. Instead, they deprived my friend of thing that keeps them sharing their writing, and in the process have killed their love of it. My friend now feels used and unmotivated.
I won't be sharing a link to their fic, they said I could share their experience but not their identity. I know they plan to post one final chapter. I know they intend to express their hurt at being excluded from the praise for the thing they created, and I know they intend to announce that as a consequence they will not be posting for a long while, if at all.
So please, I beg you, don't hide your love of a story from the writer. It's just about the only thing we have.
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prlssprfctn · 17 days ago
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AU, where Jason returns to Gotham, but in between of his evil mastermind plans and managing the criminal empire, he starts working in this anonymous psychological hotline services.
And gets a call from Bruce-fucking-Wayne.
Well. It is not like Bruce announces that he is Bruce Wayne — it is anonymous, after all — but Jason knows his father's voice, alright?
'I don't need a physiological help,' his father tells him the minute he picks up the phone.
Jason... Snorts.
'Of course,' he nods, making his voice nicer. 'How can I help you?'
Bruce pauses, his breath hitching for a second; almost as if he recognized Jason's voice.
'My... my son thinks I need it, but I am fine,' Bruce insists. 'Still... I want to, well, fulfil a promise I gave... for once.'
Jason rolls his eyes, a familiar irritation flaring up in green flames before his eyes. He wonders who is this lucky son that gets to have such a diligent, responsible father - Dickhead? Tim? Damian?
'I see,' he breathes out, trying to follow a protocol of the calls. 'I am sure he will appreciate your loyalty. Will you tell him about it?'
'If he appears,' something screeches in the background, and if Jason closes his eyes, he can easily imagine Bruce leaning back on the armchair, in the Batcave. 'I... He only ever appears in my dreams, my boy.'
Jason freezes.
'Excuse me?'
'I... He is dead, my son.'
Had someone else died? Jason frowns, reaching for his phone, typing anxiously Nightwing and Robin in the search bar, trying to see if there is something serious happened; because he can't be talking about the second Robin, can he-
'I am sorry,' he blurts out, eyes drifting back to notes on the table, with some common phrases that can be used in this situation. 'I... Do you want to talk about, sir?'
Bruce is silent for a while. Jason thinks he is about to drop the call, but then, he sighs heavily on the line:
'His name was Jason. And he was the brightest boy.'
Jason mutes the microphone. He thinks he is going to vomit.
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butchbait4butch · 2 months ago
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hey transfems, i don't know which of you need to hear this but it's okay to never use your penis during sex if you don't want to. it's okay to tell your partner not to touch it, to ignore it even, and hold them to respecting that boundary, no matter how many times you've had sex with them, or even if you've had sex with them with your penis involved.
you're not weird or broken for having needs or having boundaries, and you deserve lovers who respect those needs and boundaries. as someone who knows first hand, it's not worth it not to speak up.
this is a post for bottoms, switches, and tops. for subs or dom/mes. for anyone who feels like their no will go unheard or that the only reason people are sexually interested in you are those who want a woman with a dick. i promise you there are people who are out there who will listen, who will get you, and who will treat you how you deserve.
in fact? that's the absolute base line that anyone deserves during sex, and you deserve that and so much more.
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blondie-drawings · 2 months ago
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mama a Body behind you 😰 // pt1/pt2/pt3
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inkskinned · 5 months ago
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this is just my opinion but i think any good media needs obsession behind it. it needs passion, the kind of passion that's no longer "gentle scented candle" and is now "oh shit the house caught on fire". it needs a creator that's biting the floorboards and gnawing the story off their skin. creators are supposed to be wild animals. they are supposed to want to tell a story with the ferocity of eating a good stone fruit while standing over the sink. the same protective, strange instinct as being 7 and making mud potions in pink teacups: you gotta get weird with it.
good media needs unhinged, googling-at-midnight kind of energy. it needs "what kind of seams are invented on this planet" energy and "im just gonna trust the audience to roll with me about this" energy. it needs one person (at least) screaming into the void with so much drive and energy that it forces the story to be real.
sometimes people are baffled when fanfic has some stunning jaw-dropping tattoo-it-on-you lines. and i'm like - well, i don't go here, but that makes sense to me. of fucking course people who have this amount of passion are going to create something good. they moved from a place of genuine love and enjoyment.
so yeah, duh! saturday cartoons have banger lines. random street art is sometimes the most precious heart-wrenching shit you've ever seen. someone singing on tiktok ends up creating your next favorite song. youtubers are giving us 5 hours of carefully researched content. all of this is the impossible equation to latestage capitalism. like, you can't force something to be good. AI cannot make it good. no amount of focus-group testing or market research. what makes a story worth listening to is that someone cares so much about telling it - through dance, art, music, whatever it takes - that they are just a little unhinged about it.
one time my friend told me he stayed up all night researching how many ways there are to peel an orange. he wrote me a poem that made me cry on public transportation. the love came through it like pith, you know? the words all came apart in my hands. it tasted like breakfast.
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sirtouchstarved · 5 months ago
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nonononononnononononononon- PLEASE NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASPELPSALSLEPLAPSLEPALPPLEASPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASE
PLEASE NO NOT NOW NOT LIKE THIS, BELOVED PLEASE, PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME LIKE THIS I'M NOTHING WITHOUT YOU
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abisalli · 8 months ago
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A Robin lineup of sorts :) (sorry for no Carrie, Maps or Matthew... I was tired)
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qifreyplushie · 7 months ago
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can i see your necklace for a second, your highness? ^__^
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lotus-pear · 2 months ago
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nothing can best the bond between a boy and his cat (ref)
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overlymetaromantic · 10 months ago
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Dungeon Meshi, or as I like to call it, Marcille's-increasingly-difficult-to-ignore-revelations-that-her-endless-devotion-to-Falin-may-in-fact-be-more-rooted-in-lesbianism-than-she-originally-thought
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supertaliart · 16 days ago
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Still siblings, after everything.
This is the last page I had planned for this story! I might add some extra goofy bits to it later.
First - Prev
Other Skywalker Comics
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 3 months ago
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Happy one year anniversary to In Stars and Time!
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