#don’t turn Kendrick’s performance into something like that man | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

my-soul-sings · 3 years ago

Text

to love and to lose | pt 1 (?)

Fandom: Tears of Themis Characters: Artem x Reader Summary: “‘Tis better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.”

But if losing her was never an option from the beginning, then it’s clear what he should do now.

Contains spoilers for main story chapter 6.

A/N: I’m dead tired... I don’t know how this spawned from my brain but have at it. A new artem fic. written from my grave.

(also not sure if this is gonna be a one-shot or a multi-chap, hence the “(?)”)

***

Things haven’t been the same since the incident with Ava Kendrick.

“Good morning! How are you feeling? Better?”

It’s been a while since you heard Kiki’s voice. As always, she’s excessively cheerful for a Monday morning, but you welcome the hug that she greets you with the moment you step into the office.

“I’m all good now,” you assure her as she scans you from head to toe.

“That’s a relief! We were really worried after hearing that both you and Mr Wing were mugged on the way home from work. How did that happen anyway?”

“Just, you know... bad luck, I guess.” A flat and vague response is all you can offer. Artem sounded much more natural when he came up with this excuse when he spoke with Celestine to let her know that both of you would be taking one week of medical leave.

Speaking of the man…

“Artem’s not in the office yet?” you ask, peering into his empty room. He’s usually the first to reach the office in the morning but it’s already past 9 and his bag is still nowhere to be seen. Vyn had told you that Artem had already been discharged and that he would be coming back to work today. He had sounded quite exasperated over the phone, considering Artem had been discharged earlier than the doctor would have liked and the fact that he was planning to return to work the very next day.

“I heard he’s meeting a client right now,” Kiki answers. “Why? Do you need him for something?”

“It’s fine,” you tell her with a dismissive wave of your hand. “I’ll talk to him later when he’s back.” If he’s even willing to entertain a conversation with you, that is.

You can’t remember the last time Artem spoke to you properly. Ever since your discharge from the hospital it seems like he’s been actively avoiding you. Your phone calls either go ignored or he hangs up after dishing out an excuse about being busy with work. He used to reply to your texts within fifteen minutes, but these days he takes almost a day or two to respond. Work is the only exception; he’s as efficient as always when it comes to that.

Conversations are no longer as personal as they used to be.

They’re more formal now. More business-like. More distant.

Much like a conversation between an employer and an employee, instead of partners.

The sudden change has left a bitter taste in your mouth, but it’s nothing compared to the changes to your work assignments. You’ve suddenly been tasked to assist Celestine with new cases, while almost all of your cases with Artem have been redistributed among the other junior lawyers in the office. No explanation was given for the reassignments. Even Celestine was puzzled when you spoke to her about it. The bizarre changes have since sparked rumours among the other junior lawyers in the office, that perhaps Artem was dissatisfied with your work performance, or that there might have been some kind of conflict between the two of you.

You’ve been meaning to speak to Artem about this, but you’re not sure if he’ll be at all cooperative and give you an honest answer. You get the distinct feeling that it’s related to what happened with Ava Kendrick. If so, he might be evasive and cold with his answers. He’s been much colder with the others in the NXX after they chastised him for his poor planning, even though you were equally at fault for the way things turned out that day.

You suppose, at this point in time, all you can do is wait for a chance to speak to him in private. Hopefully you’ll catch him in a good mood and in the best case scenario, you’ll have a candid talk with him, everything will go back to how they were and there won’t be any weird lingering tension between the both of you.

Of course, you know reality will be far from forgiving in cases like this. But there’s no time to dwell; there’s a ton of handover and work for you to deal with, no thanks to Artem’s unsolicited reassignments.

Dread sinks like a heavy weight on your chest as you set your things down on your desk and start up the computer.

Maybe getting mugged for real and taking more hospital leave isn’t too bad an idea.

#tears of themis #artem wing #artem wing fanfiction #tears of themis artem #artem fanfiction #my writing #jk as depressing as my a/n sounds #im actl doing ok #it's just been super long since i last wrote #i could feel myself having to dust off the cobwebs in my brain while struggling for years over how to start a fic bc i forgot how to word #ig work does that to u #being a working adult sux!!!#i wanna be a baby again!!!!!!#waiting for a time traveller to force me back into my mother's womb #:)#anyways this is gonna be a short fic #not sure if it will be a oneshot or a multi-chap thing but #we'll see #rn im just trying to crawl out of my hate for my own writing (sis needs to improve by a ton LOL)#and no this isnt a bait for compliments i just arrrgghhhh wish i could do better than this #but no substitute for practice amirite #!!!!!!#ok peace out im gonna crash gnight all have a lovely week!!#n thx for reading muacks muacks if u read through all the tags ur an angel and ily

25 notes · View notes

calypsoff2 · 3 years ago

Text

One hundred four

I am so excited, I didn’t think this would be me, but it is me, passing my blunt to Herb “about to go live?” Herb said, blowing the smoke out form my lips “yeah, about to go on Instagram live, Jeff? Ready” I said, he nodded his head “yeah, just press the damn button, you want me to do it for you” he got annoyed with me “well yeah actually I do” Jeff shook his head, pressing the button to go live. My album is going to be released tonight so I am excited, a lot is happening and the way the record label has been working so hard, so it gets released as soon as possible because of the singles being number one and doing so well, I didn’t think I was a person that people think I am the it guy, like I am posted everywhere, people want to be my friend, I am shook and I feel so blessed to be in this position in my life. Looking at my phone “what’s up, what’s up?” I said smiling “what it do” Herb made his way over to me “oh shit, that is going up quick” nodding my head “I just thought I would come on live for a while, my album is coming out tonight. I hope y’all like it, I have tried to make a mix of things. So yeah, and no Rihanna isn’t here” I laughed “and no she isn’t held hostage, she is at home. She’s retired, she told me I need to work now” I laughed, Herb chuckled walking off “I know y’all are sick of me, I know y’all talking about where is she, man” shaking my head “damn, the numbers are rolling” seeing Drake is in the live, he put the one hundred sign up “appreciate it” I said, not naming who I said it too but if they catch it, then they do “my favourite song, you know what I have so many favourites but I would say erm, do better because it has a big reason and I feel like I poured my emotions into it, but also I got a lot of joints on there that are dope, shoutout to Rocky, Tyga they have been there for me in the studio, Wayne for jumping on. Also Kendrick and Brandy, the legends that have looked at me to come onto my album, it’s a blessing in itself” clearing my throat, the comments are going wild “oh wow a million?” I hit a million “Rihanna is in there” Jeff said, looking at him. I know that ain’t Robyn sending me a request, that is going to be Rylee, but I accepted it “I don’t know who this may be” I said, it connected “hi dad” Rylee said “oh wow, does your mom know about this?” she laughed “mommy is here! She said I can, I am awake. I am waiting for my daddy album” I cooed out “really? That is so cute, where is the rest of the gang?” she seems to be the only one awake “asleep dad” I smiled “how you talk your mom into letting you do this?” she is cheeky “well it’s not school tomorrow and I did chores, I also babysat Junior” pulling a face “Rylee, watching him outside is not babysitting” Robyn said in the background which made me bust out laughing, she is funny this one.

Rylee will not leave the live, I can’t say to her to go either but she refuses to go “huh, why they call you daddy?” Rylee asked, I chuckled “who is calling me daddy?” I questioned “here, it says yes daddy, why?” I busted out laughing with Herb, rubbing my face “where is your mom, tell her it’s bedtime” she isn’t shit “I don’t get it” she is annoying “get off!” Herb shouted “is uncle Herb being mean” I chuckled “he is being something, don’t worry about him, but I think it’s time you go to bed now baby so how about you get off” Herb turned his phone to me, trying to read the message “oh” I said he has messaged Mel, she should be getting off now “I do?” Rylee said, “let’s leave dad now, come on” Robyn is getting her off now, thank god because she isn’t letting me really speak to anyone “sexy?” Rylee said, the phone got snatched and then she disappeared “my kids don’t let me do anything alone” I laughed “but yeah, who is coming tomorrow to the concert? Man I am so nervous so please be kind to me, and just give me love. I don’t really do that. My album release party slash concert is tomorrow night, I am performing in front of seven thousand people and to me that is a lot, like I have seen my wife perform but then now it’s me, I am having a little anxiety here so please be kind to me” I laughed “but who is coming and remember you can still win tickets and the fans that can’t, everyone that bought an album, you can access it via the link with the unique code to you. I appreciate everyone that has bought the album and that have you know listened to it, I know Amazon have released it a day earlier with the physical copy, but this is my baby, with my baby on the cover yes but I am excited” I am nervous as shit too actually.

I can’t believe that my album has been released now, like I did it and its mine “you look nervous” Herb said “man I am so scared right now. Not in the way of album sales but performing live, me, myself and I. I am scared, Herb you done it so it’s nothing to you but me. It’s like I am scared, I don’t want to fuck up. I appreciate Robyn so much, shoutout to my wife” I said to the camera, Robyn is back on her show vibe, but I don’t mind it “she really was like have this, do this. She got me the best dancers and the best backing singers, she has been there for rehearsals with me, and she has told me what not to do, I appreciate it. Because people don’t know that it is scary, being new to the game. I am nervous but I have been rehearsing constantly, one time Jay and Robyn argued” I pointed at Jay Brown “yeah, at rehearsals. I know Rihanna and she is a perfectionist, we said look let’s stop and start tomorrow, she turned to me and said no. Nobody leaves, he has to do it, change it but it has to be done, I was like oh shit here we go, and we clashed. I wanted my artist to have a break, but she said no, I said yes and then Chris goes I will do it again, he is so weak” I chuckled “but I had too, she had me in boot camp. That one time I said to her don’t come, but she did, and I was like help? Jay? Help, no she really kept me on my feet, and she has given me the best advice but yeah” looking at the camera “I am scared” sighing out “would you change anything about the album?” Dennis asked “erm, no because everything that I am feeling and was feeling is poured into that album, I am happy though” I smiled to myself.

I am so in love with the album cover; I really love it and my baby boy looks so cute. They actually got him at the moment too, even my team have said they won’t be shocked if he doesn’t get contracts like Rylee did because she got loads of offers but I think I may want to keep him away from that side anyways. I feel like his eyes are even lighter than mine, this picture is beautiful on the album, I love it, so I had to post it “awww look at you posting your husband album, so proud of my baby. Breezy is out now, love” Jah read out, side eyeing him “saying it like that just makes me feel weak minded” Jah snorted laughing “be quiet! Don’t say that now” rolling my eyes “but I have seen him work hard for this, so it’s his moment. I am happy that I could be part of it, help him do things and get him the best” I said “of course with the help of Tina” she was very much involved too “it’s cute how you rushed to get your tour team together for him, he has the best. I am happy and nervous for him” Tina said, nodded my head “big night tonight, kids are super excited, and I am too. But big night for me, I haven’t stepped foot outside till today. I am doing it for Chris, I am not doing this for anyone as you all know but I wanted to give a thanks for you all supporting him with me, thank you” Jen smiled “he’s part of us now, but I am excited for him. Like the amount of people coming and he sold out, that is big for him so yeah. But back to you, this is a moment. People haven’t seen you in months! So you need to be stepping on some necks” I smiled “yeah” I breathed out, I am nervous myself, but I am doing it for Chris.

It does actually feel good to get dressed for an event, it’s been a while since my home has been this busy while we get ready for this day “makes me happy you know, seeing that my family and friends are here supporting Chris” I smiled, I am so happy to see that my extended family flew out for him, they don’t really come but they have for him, I love it “that’s love bae” Mel said “it is, I love seeing Tanella and them here. I love it” Jah opened the door “kids are dressed, so can mother come next” I let out an oh “awww can I see them?” I said “of course, girls. Actually your son is just being the worst, come here you” Jah said to me “Junior, baby boy. Come here for me” looking over, I can hear him walking “no eating” Jah said to my mom, she is giving him food which is a bad thing to do when he is dressed up “oh my baby” I gushed “I love the Burberry montage, oh my. The yellow, I love this Jah” seeing him in his shades, he is acting all bougie “hey, come here” I said, and he didn’t, he just ran away from me. I love the chain Chris has got him “how you going to handle him?” Mel asked “leaving him to you” I said “he acts grown, it’s like I blinked and he’s here just being a pain, he looks two now” I chuckled “I swear, I blinked and he’s just shot up. Come here” I grabbed him finally “oh we wearing tracksuits girls, I love that” Imani smiled but her missing teeth takes me out “can you do closed smiles please” I said to her, Imani jumped up and down “I do big smiles mommy” rolling my eyes, taking the shades off Junior “you can wear them after, and no. Leave shoes on, can you please make sure your brother doesn’t mess his clothes up, I am going to get changed” I really love this outfit “are you wearing the same?” Rylee asked, “at my big age?” I said laughing “you are old” she said, “aww thanks, brat” moving Junior’ hands away from his shoes once again, he is going to throw these “oh my god!” I spat; he grabbed my hair “junior! You can’t do that” Tianna said, Mel busted out laughing, this child.

Staring at myself in the mirror, I am not used to being dressed up. I am dressed in a William Vintage John Galliano Spring 1995 kimono dress and strappy black shoes, and yes I ain’t wearing a bra but I am covered, I look good but it’s different to see me like this “you look beautiful, look at her” Jah said, priscilla smiled also just cooing over me “oh stop it” answering my phone “hello you” I said down the phone, Chris is calling “I thought you would be too busy for me” which he has been “never for you twin, how are you? Are y’all ready?” he asked “yes, we are getting there. it’s just me getting dressed now” I laughed “oh boy, that will be long then. Showing some leg?” I chuckled “I am, I hope you like it. But I don’t know, I feel insecure now about things” I sighed out “don’t be, please. You will look beautiful but come out. I am getting ready too, I can’t wait to see you actually” I smirked “by the way, I am not wearing a bra, but you can’t see anything. Promise” I don’t want him to have a fit “cool, y’all going to be late ain’t you” I cringed “I think so, sorry. It’s the kids” let me blame the kids “mhmm sure it is, see you soon though” I can’t wait to see him “likewise, bye” I disconnecting the call, I am so nervous about this.

There is a lot going on and I am never here for drama in terms of an event for me, like this shit is wild. I am not ready for it, but I am in a way just nervous. I am wearing a Balenciaga White and Black sunglasses with a shirt Jacket, white t-shirt, black trackpants, and Nike Air Force 1s. I don’t know what to wear but Javon dressed me “we here cuz” Herb said, looking out of the window just seeing the busy red carpet “you got a lot of niggas here, famous actually. We looking at Diddy, he is just walking in. They are clearing the carpet, Jeff check” Jay said to him, this is usually for Robyn, never me. Like this is all for me, I am speechless because this is all me. Just seeing my face plastered all around. Jeff climbed out of the SUV, Pat is stood outside the door “so walk the carpet, take the pictures and then do some interviews, try and not be too honest with answers, keep private life out of it” nodding my head, Pat opened my door “woo!! Yes Chris” I laughed as I got out of the SUV, like this is big for me. I mean it’s not the biggest meaning Robyn’ scale but this is big for me, biting my bottom lip walking towards the carpet “you see that” I said pointing at the backdrop just of my album cover “good luck” Pat patted my shoulder, the hollering from paparazzi, this is an insane scale for me, but Robyn is right, I do already have a fanbase and that is why.

I am sick of interviews already, speaking to BET right now “we asked Diddy what made you so special, he said the boy has raw talent that has been so hidden. That you are a machine in the studio, the various genres and that you have more songs, also Tyga said the same thing and they respect that. What do you say to that” the interviewer asked “erm, I am just me really. Like when we was in the studio, Diddy got to see how I worked and I wrote my own shit, like the album was written by me and you will see that on the album, I don’t really flaunt it, and yeah it’s been a long time coming” I smiled “my boy!” feeling a tap on my shoulder, looking behind me “oh shit Rocky” dapping him “this nigga is a machine” dapping Ferg “good seeing you both, I will catch up with you both” I said to them “sorry about that” I apologised “where is Rihanna bro? She is not coming today” looking around me laughing “I don’t know, she may cancel on me” I laughed “she probably thinking I am sick of him but I don’t know” I shrugged off the question “we need to go” Jay said, I know this interviewer wanted to ask more “one last question, what would you say is your favourite song?” I hate this question “man, I don’t know. But Do Better, there is a lot of meaning to it. Thank you, thank y’all for the support” Jay wants me to go, he isn’t having the Rihanna questions at all, they slipped that one in I think but I don’t know where she is either. Dapping Rocky again as I walked off “you waiting here for me? I think you love me lowkey, just stood here” I laughed “man shut up, you nervous though” nodding my head “I am very scared, not even a joke. Pray for me bro” is he crazy, I feel like I am to pee my pants.

Licking my lips clenching my jaw, I don’t understand where Robyn is. Like I know she is late but this late, probably isn’t going to come with the kids then. She did say she is but she could have backed out of it and I don’t blame her for it either, her first public event after everything “what was that” Pay said, he is listening to his ear piece “oh cool, Chris. The wife and kids are here” she is so last minute “oh you can hear” you can hear the shouting “come” hitting Herb’ arm “can you go around this shit from the back” I asked, I want to go to the front “here” Herb grabbed my arm, let me go and see them on the carpet “Chris! You need to go backstage” he is right, Jay is very right but I am not missing this. Herb and I are like kids just running by people and Pat is huffing and puffing behind me, but I want to see them. Me and Herb stopped and saw the commotion, oh her family are out, out. They are all here “hey, watch out” I said going by them, my smile grew seeing my family “that my family man” I said walking to the side, poking my bottom lip seeing Robyn holding Junior, Rylee and Tianna just holding onto Robyn and Imani in front, they holding onto Robyn alright “that’s so cute” Herb said, I sniggered at Junior with his shades on. Robyn looks so fucking good, like she look amazing tonight. Creeping over to them as the girls moved away from Robyn a little “twin” I said touching her arm and the cheers just went crazy, Robyn jumped “idiot” she said laughing “I thought you wasn’t here” she said as I laughed “I waited for you” she put Junior down “you look amazing, you really do. I am speechless, I was waiting. I know Jay is looking for me” Robyn hugged me, she hugged me and the camera flashes are going crazy.

#Chrianna #Chrianna FF #Fanfic #Fanfiction #Chrianna Fanfic #Chrianna Fanfiction

7 notes · View notes

bishreview · 4 years ago

Text

Track by Track Review - Hottest 100 2020

Wrote this article a little bit ago just for fun. Decided to post it on here with the thought of maybe getting back to the Bish Review. Also, put an asterix next to my votes (songs that made my top 10). Anyway, here we go:

100. Kool - BENEE

One of the many gems from ‘Hey u x’. Unlucky to hear her biggest hit so early on.

99. Itch - Hockey Dad

I thought ‘Brain Candy’ was a little bit of a disappointment, but Itch was one of the strongest tracks they duo have released.

98. Your Man - Joji

Surprised to hear this track in the countdown. Pretty solid tune though

97. Audacity (feat. Headie One) - Stormzy

He’s still one of the best from the UK rap scene and this track shows why.

96. Germaphobe - Hockey Dad

One of the weaker tracks, I thought, off Brain Candy, but not surprised a lot of Hockey Dad fans liked this one. Definitely plays into their audience’s taste.

95. Loose Ends (feat. G Flip) - Illy

I do not like Aussie Hip Pop. This track is not an exception.

94. Rain (feat. Tay Keith) - Aitch and AJ Tracey

The piano in this is very ‘Humble’ - Kendrick Lamar. Still a banger though.

93. Lemonade (feat. Gunna, Don Toliver and NAV) - Internet Money

Bit of a forgettable track. It’s okay, but feels like there’s a lot better like this out there.

92. These Days - Thelma Plum

First cover of the countdown. Still one of the best Hottest 100 number ones, and Thelma does it justice.

91. Charlie - Bugs

Second cover of the countdown. I do like this but I feel it doesn’t reach the same heights as the original.

90. No Time To Die - Billie Eilish

A little expected from Eilish but still a solid Bond song (the second in history to make it).

89. In Her Eyes - The Jungle Giants

I cannot wait for the new Jungle Giants album. They’ve gotten better and better with each release.

88. Heart Attack (feat. lau.ra) - BRONSON*

I fell deeply in love with this song the second I heard it. It just has this quiet yet strong emotion behind it. The production on it is something else as well.

87. Three Leaf Clover - Teenage Joans

A really solid debut single by the Unearthed High winners. Can’t wait to hear more from them.

86. Laugh Now Cry Now (feat. Lil Durk) - Drake

I still don’t get the hype for Drake. The falsetto “baby” in the chorus also never ceases to make me laugh.

85. Too Tough Terry - Dune Rats

Dunies slow descent from mature stoner pop to edgy tracks for teens has been hard to watch. This song just seems like a parody of the band.

84. Chicken Tenders - Dominic Fike

Has to be the sexiest song about the best thing in the frozen food section at the supermarket. Pity the album didn’t live up to the hype.

83. Down For You - Cosmo’s Midnight and Ruel

I was really keen for this once I heard about the collaboration between the two. Unfortunately it felt a little too much like a Ruel song and it doesn’t really feel like Cosmo’s Midnight had much of a touch on it.

82. The Clap - The Chats

It’s a bit generic for The Chats but I just like hearing them get more popular. Just hilarious dudes.

81. Weightless - Spacey Jane

One of the stronger and more unique tracks on Sunlight. The synth touches really suit the band.

80. Freaks - FISHER

Cannot wait for FISHER to just slowly fade away. His tracks all sound the same and are so basic.

79. my future - Billie Eilish

One of the best tracks Eilish has released. Love how this just turns halfway through from a really soft ballad to a bit of an electro pop song.

78. Lady Marmalade - G Flip

It’s a nice cover. The video of G Flip performing it though is really fun.

77. House Arrest - Sofi Tukker and Gorgon City

This song bangs pretty hard. I like a lot of Sofi Tukker have really been putting out some solid stuff.

76. Baby It’s You - London Grammar

This is a great track, that synth in the chorus is heavenly.

75. Photo ID - Remi Wolf

I do like this song but it reminds me of a track from the 80s or 90s and I can’t put my finger on what that track is.

74. Scream Drive Faster - LAUREL

When I first heard this I thought Ladyhawke was back in the mainstream. Little disappointed it wasn’t, but this slaps.

73. Don’t Need You - Genesis Owusu*

Possibly the best chorus of the year. Owusu has stepped up massively in the Australian Hip Hop scene.

72. Way Down - Ocean Alley

Ocean Alley have plateaued. ‘Lonely Diamond’ just felt like the band had become comfortable.

71. Obey - Bring Me The Horizon and YUNGBLUD

I just can’t take BMTH seriously anymore. They’re music has become so comically edgy.

70. Low - Chet Faker

Hey look, Nick Murphy has become Chet Faker again. Don’t know why he changes between the two when one is just slightly more soulful than the other, but he does release nice tunes.

69. Second - Hope D

I do like this female, Aussie version of Jamie T. It’s a really nice track. Also the number 69 is claimed by Hope D. haha.

68. Lie to Me - Vera Blue

I don’t know what it is exactly, but there’s something about Vera which just puts her on a different level than her counterparts. She’s just that consistently good.

67. Boss Bitch - Doja Cat

This track doesn’t get old for me. It’s so much fun, and Doja Cat owns it. Love it.

66. Fantasising - Skegss

This track really does have a very “Three Leaf Clover” vibe. I have enjoyed Skegss in the past but their new stuff hasn’t captured my attention really. Seems a bit run of the mill.

65. C’MON (feat. Travis Barker) - Amy Shark

I actually don’t mind this song, but why does it feature Travis Barker. It’s a piano ballad featuring a punk drummer, and he really doesn’t do that much. I’m confused, was he jealous of Mark Hoppus?

64. Soak Me In Bleach - The Amity Affliction

The song title reflects my thoughts when I hear that The Amity Affliction have released a new one. There are so many better Aussie metal bands out there.

63. Day & Age - Ball Park Music

BPM have a knack for writing amazing ballads. I wasn’t huge on their latest album, but tracks like this continue me having them in my good books.

62. Run - Joji

One of the best tracks Joji has released. A really mature song for the artist and a step in the right direction for him.

61. Pretty Grim - Ruby Fields

Ruby is good, but I feel she’s starting to release the same song over and over. Need something fresh.

60. Go (feat. Juice WRLD) - The Kid LAROI

Probably the strongest track by The Kid LAROI, but Juice WRLD outshines him just due to his vocal tone. He just sounds better.

59. Gimme Love - Joji

And that’s three for Joji. I really like how this song has two distinct sections and both are solid without overshadowing the other.

58. Fly Away - Tones and I

I still don’t get why Tones and I puts on that fake accent in her songs. It just detracts from what could be a nice pop song.

57. Sobercoaster - Beddy Rays

Really didn’t expect this to get so high. I’m happy though because it’s a really fun song.

56. On The Line - San Cisco

Tracks like this keep me invested in San Cisco. They can really release some brilliant stuff.

55. I Think You’re Great - Alex The Astronaut

The fine line between overly chessy and adorably optimistic is what Alex walks on with every track. I think this falls on the former side sadly.

54. Blue - Eiffel 65 (Flume Remix)

The fact that Flume puts so much of his identity into this remix is why Flume has been one of the most successful Aussie acts this past decade.

53. In Your Eyes - The Weeknd

If The Weeknd release ‘Blinding Lights’ a month later I’d believe that he would take out this countdown. He didn’t though and instead we are left with this solid track in the bottom 50.

52. The Glow - DMA’s

Why? Why did DMA’s have to get so poppy and generic. I loved their first two album, but I struggled to get through the third.

51. Your Love (Déjà Vu) - Glass Animals

Out of the three big hits the band had in 2020, this is the most underrated. There is so much going on here, yet it never feels muddled. Wavey Davey on fire here.

50. Nothing To Love About Love - Peking Duk and The Wombats

Although this is a nice song, there’s been so many 80s electro pop throwbacks recently that have been done better that this collab just fades into the background.

49. Wishing Well - Juice WRLD

This song is so beautiful and heart-breaking. Really shows why Juice WRLD became such a beloved artist so quickly.

48. Ain’t It Different (feat. AJ Tracey and Stormzy) - Headie One

This is a really cool collab. They use the Red Hot Chili Peppers sample so well and really flow so well with it that it feels almost effortless.

47. Animals - Architects

I like a lot about this track, but the chorus really hits another level. Feels cathartic to scream along to.

46. Pretty Lady - Tash Sultana

Was hoping Tash would move into a more psychedelic direction with their newer stuff, but this is still a fine track.

45. as long as you care - Ruel

A pretty by the books Ruel song, but he really does this style so well.

44. You & I - G Flip

Probably G Flips strongest release this year. The chorus has a lot of flavour.

43. together - Ziggy Alberts

Generic acoustic track by generic Byron Bay artist. He really took the cake this year for dumbest comparison, when he compared wearing a face mask to the holocaust. Thought he’d suffer a bit for it, but apparently his fanbase grew stronger.

42. WHATS POPPIN - Jack Harlow

Jack Harlow is just so much fun. He’s killing it, and WHATS POPPIN is proof of that. Keep the bangers coming Harlow.

41. I Still Dream About You - The Smith Street Band

I felt I was growing out of The Smith Street Band, their newer music just not resonating to me. Then they drop this and make me a big fan again.

40. Come & Go (with Marshmello) - Juice WRLD

Just that chorus. It is so enjoyable. He really was going places.

39. Righteous - Juice WRLD

A back to back, and from one of the more exciting songs on the album we get to one of the more sombre tracks. Everything from the guitar, the vocals, those synth notes. . . this track is just a perfect send off for the artist. R.I.P. Juice.

38. Parasite Eve - Bring Me The Horizon

This song is so unironically cringe and edgy that it somehow becomes ironically fun. It does the full circle.

37. SO DONE - The Kid LAROI

I do like The Kid LAROI, but his vocals on this, combined with the lyrics, just make him sound like a child chucking a temper tantrum. It does make me laugh though.

36. forget me too (feat. Halsey) - Machine Gun Kelly

If this song was released in the early 00s (where it belongs), it would’ve faded into oblivion. At least Halsey sounds pretty solid on her verse though.

35. Running Red Lights (feat. Rivers Cuomo & Pink Siifu) - The Avalanches*

My personal number one for the year. This song has that melancholic, nostalgic feel to it that just hits home every time. Also one of Cuomo’s strongest vocal performances.

34. Everybody Rise - Amy Shark

This song is fine. I wouldn’t go out of my way to listen to it, but it’s fun to sing-a-long to.

33. Breathe Deeper - Tame Impala

One of the best tracks from The Slow Rush. I love that piano motif throughout, and the bass is so funky. That weird bridge section towards the end is also pretty slick.

32. Criminals - DMA’s

The real criminals are the ones who told DMA’s this was a good idea. I just can’t get around their new stuff. I miss ‘Hill’s End’ and ‘For Now’.

31. Reasons - San Cisco

Tracks like this keep me from becoming a full time fan of San Cisco. They can really release some average stuff.

30. Bagi-la-m Bargan (feat. Fred Leone) - Birdz

Powerful. Birdz really took it to another level here.

29. Dribble - Sycco

Although I find there’s a lot of similar stuff out there, I think Sycco does sound like an original voice in the Australian music scene. She’s killing it.

28. Straightfaced - Spacey Jane

Although there was a lot of good stuff on Spacey Jane’s debut album, I found it to be quite repetitive. This track was one of the ones that I found to fade into the background instead of standing out.

27. Under the Thunder - Skegss

I really want to like Skegss, they’ve released some great tunes in the past. But this just doesn’t do it for me. It’s just boring.

26. No Plans To Make Plans - Lime Cordiale

Everything that makes new The Rubens tracks so average is presented here on a Lime Cordiale track. Obnoxiously quirky.

25. Reality Check Please - Lime Cordiale

Hey back to back Lime Cordiale tracks. And another one of their weaker ones. ‘Addicted to the Sunshine’ did this chorus better.

24. Blue World - Mac Miller

Didn’t expect this to make it so high but so well deserved. This song slaps hard but still continues the tragic story that is presented on his posthumous album ‘Circles’.

23. Good News - Mac Miller*

Back to back Mac! To be honest, I am close to tears every time this track plays. If only the lyrics “there's a whole lot more for me waiting/I know maybe I'm too late, I could make it there some other time/Then I'll finally discover/That it ain't that bad” were told to Mac before his passing, because he did have so much more to offer. R.I.P. Mac.

22. Complicated - Eves Karydas

This song is so good. I’ve heard it that many times but it still hasn’t lost its shine. So damn good.

21. Energy - KLP and Stace Cadet

I was really hoping this would crack top 20. Probably the best Dance track of the year. Such a jam.

20. Addicted To The Sunshine - Lime Cordiale

Despite thinking that ‘14 Steps To A Better Living’ didn’t have many new tracks that were that good on it, this one is nice. It’s just a pleasantly nice song.

19. You Should Be Sad - Halsey

I really don’t like Pop Country music but I also find it hilarious that the genre cracked the top 20. ‘09 Taylor Swift would be proud.

18. Tangerine - Glass Animals

With Tik Tok exploding in 2020 I don’t get how this didn’t get adopted by someone on it. It’s so primed to get hyped on it.

17. Is It True - Tame Impala

I think Kevin Parker’s vocals on this are underwhelming, but that might just be because the instrumental slaps that hard. The rhythm section is so tight.

16. Screw Loose - Lime Cordiale

This sound is what Lime Cordiale do best. We need more dub influence and less elevator pop influence.

15. Skin - Spacey Jane

No matter what you think about Spacey Jane, they sure do make some emotional tracks. One of the most powerful songs on Sunlight.

14. Tombstone - Ocean Alley

The verses are average and pretty bland but the chorus is amazing. Just don’t think the album resonated with me too much, and Tombstone is another mixed track off it.

13. Rockstar - Mallrat

Possibly Mallrat’s best song yet. Her laid back, relaxed style mixed with the low-fi production really meshes well.

12. Get on the Beers (feat. Dan Andrews) - Mashd N Kutcher

I’m not going to pretend this is my style, but the way this has resonated with Australians during lockdown last year makes the track way smarter than it deserves to be. It’s both ironically and unironically good.

11. On Our Own - Lime Cordiale

I’m happy the three best new tracks of Lime Cordiale’s debut were the highest placing in this countdown. This really is a nice song.

10. Therefore I Am - Billie Eilish

Not my favourite songs from Billie but she continues to be consistently good. The production on this is immense as well.

9. I’m Good? - Hilltop Hoods

I wish old school Hilltop could hear this so could prevent themselves every going this direction. Aussie Hip Pop is not a good genre. This is one of their worst tracks yet.

8. Sending Me Ur Loving - The Jungle Giants*

This song has so much flavour too it. It’s so funky and fun and the production is so tight. Also the guitar work is underrated here, not doing much but adding that icing on the cake.

7. Hyperfine - G Flip

Every time I hear this track (and I’ve heard it a lot) I completely forget about it a couple minutes later. G Flip is good, but this is forgettable.

6. WAP (feat. Megan Thee Stallion) - Cardi B

I understand if this isn’t your style, but I love it. I don’t think there’s ever been a song with so many quotable moments. Every line makes a statement that will get in your head. My personal favourite? “ I let him taste it, now he diabetic”.

5. Lost In Yesterday - Tame Impala

There’s a lot of songs on ‘The Slow Rush’ I like, but Lost In Yesterday I’ve always found kinda boring. It feels a little uninspired. Surprised that this was the album’s big hit.

4. Cherub - Ball Park Music*

BPM have released some great music over the decade but I think this is their best yet. It’s beautiful, emotional and has a fantastic, cathartic breakdown at the end. I love a good build up.

3. The Difference (feat. Toro y Moi) - Flume*

Everything about this track is why Flume has been so great for so long. This track is great for any situation. If I’m partying, I play it. If I’m relaxing, I play it. If I’m getting pumped up, I play it. If I’m sad, I play it. Flexibility matters.

2. Booster Seat - Spacey Jane

OHHH-OH-OHHHHHHHH AND IT FEELS LIKE THAT AGAIN! One of the best sing-a-long tracks of the year, yet massively emotional. Like damn this song is rough.

1. Heat Waves - Glass Animals*

If I had one word to express how I feel about this winning I would say “deserved”. Not many tracks were as perfect for 2020 as this one. Glass Animals love writing absolute bangers with emotional cores and this one is one of their strongest tracks. Glass Animals just continue to outdo themselves.

That’s it for now, gonna maybe start posting again. I dunno. See how I feel. Ta-ta.

#triple j #triple j hottest 100 #2020 #triple j hottest 100 2020 #Glass Animals #spacey jane #flume #Ball Park Music #tame impala #cardi b #g flip #the jungle giants #hilltop hoods #billie eilish

15 notes · View notes

justasparkwritings · 4 years ago

Text

Illicit Affairs: Beautiful Rooms Pt. 2

Previous: Beautiful Rooms Pt. 1

Pairings: Namjoon & Reader

Genre: Angst, Slice of Life

Ratings: PG15

Word Count: 2.6K

Warnings: Therapy and Swearing, Mentions of Past Abuse

Summary: Namjoon and Jungkook sit down with Dr. Aarons.

Listen: illicit affairs by Taylor Swift

“What did she say?” You ask, Namjoon’s head resting gently in your lap, shoes tossed to the side, spread across the queen-sized mattress of Namjoon’s rental.

“That there’s a difference between Kookie hating me because I lied to him, and JK hating me because I destroyed his life,”

“Interesting, what else?” Your fingers move gently through his locks, recently cut and easy to comb through, the gesture is calming, even if that sensation is only fleeting.

“She said I’m the messenger, and he’s shooting me when he means to be shooting Big Hit,”

“Oo, I like that,” You agree.

“Yeah?”

“Yes, because, it doesn’t absolve you, right? But it explains the torture and torment they put you through too,” Your eyes maneuver over his features, the slope of his nose, the blossom of his cheeks, all honeyed and delicate under the weight of vulnerability.

“I delivered all the messages though,” Namjoon shifts, head digging deeper into the pillow on your thighs.

“Yeah, but can you blame someone when they’ve got a gun to their head?”

He pauses at your words, “I guess not.”

“Right, so maybe, just maybe, you’re not fully culpable.”

“But what I did,” He starts, his mind moving to relegate his actions instead of voicing his contemplations.

“Only Jungkook can forgive you for that,” You remind him.

“I don’t know if he will,”

“Has he ever held a grudge?” You counter, the self-pity beginning to wear on you.

“No,”

“He loves you, and you love him. This is going to be hard, but we knew that, didn’t we?”

He closes his eyes, “Yeah, we did.”

“You’re going to work for your relationship with him. You always have,” You remind him.

“I betrayed him,”

“Yes, you did, but didn’t Bang betray you?”

“How can you, why do you,” Namjoon stutters.

“What?” You ask.

“Why do you love me, when you know all the horrible things I’ve done?”

You pause your ministrations on his scalp, fingers stopping mid rake. He’s never asked, never inquired. Honestly, you wondered if he didn’t ask out of fear. Fear he’d hate your answer. Fear you’d leave him if he pushed too hard. Fear that the only reason you’d stayed together was because you hadn’t asked yourself that very question.

“You don’t have to answer,” He says, sitting up. He tucks his legs underneath himself and glances at you. “You don’t,”

“Joon bug,” You start. “I do have to answer it,”

“Not if you don’t want to, not if you don’t, if you haven’t thought about it,” He shakes his head.

“I have,”

“You have?”

“Of course, I have. I just,” You sigh. “I love you.”

“That’s it?”

“Yes. You’ve always given me the best of you, no matter how insolent I’ve been. No matter how far gone you feel like you are, standing on that ledge, you’ve never hesitated to give me everything. I just feel like, you owe it to yourself to give you the best of you,”

“Did you just quote-

“Yes, okay? Yes, I did, but it’s true, Joon. I love you, I guess, in spite of everything you’ve done because I can tell that it wasn’t your intentions, your decisions, you are not what Bang and Sejin have made you out to be. You aren’t, you aren’t that man at all,” You shift on the bed, kneeling in front of him, hands cradling his moisten cheeks in yours. “I’ve always loved you, every part of you, every secret and lie, every scar, every missed note, every attempt to redeem yourself, every failed apology… they’re all a part of you, Kim Namjoon. I love them all.”

“I’m having a hard time focusing when you just quoted my lyrics to me.”

“Fuck you then,” You laugh before placing your lips on his.

“I love you,” He says, eyes still closed, lips hovering above yours.

“You got me,” You sing softly, lips gently caressing his cheeks, his forehead, his nose.

“Nan neoreul bomyeo sumeul shwieo,” He answers.

“I got you,”

“Chireuk gatdeon bamdeul soge,” He finishes, lips hungrily finding yours again.

~~~~~

“Let’s begin by discussing your first impressions of one another,” Dr. Aarons suggests. She sips quietly on her coffee, freshly brewed to her specifications. The sun is blocked by a tan window covering, an attempt at creating a cohesive design throughout the treatment center but in this lighting, looks more like a hospital than a posh therapists office.

“Namjoon, you can start,” Jungkook says.

“I remember his talent, the fear in his eyes, the joy he had performing. He was so little. I was concerned that he was too young, I thought I was too young. He was just, malleable, willing to please, unsure where his next footing was,” Namjoon says. He’s thought about it a lot, what about Jungkook struck him? Why did he need him on the team?

“When he sang, you could hear the emotion, the raw talent. It was stunning. I took him under my wing early on because he didn’t know if he wanted to stick with it.”

“Jungkook, why did you doubt?” Dr. Aarons inquires.

“They wanted to make me the center, I was just a kid from Busan, and they just, picked me,” Jungkook balls his fists under the weight of his long sleeved shirt, an attempt at making himself as small as possible.

Dr. Aarons surveys Jungkook, noting his change in body language. “Namjoon, do you remember that discussion?”

“Yes, we wanted-

“We?” Dr. Aarons interjects.

“Management and I,”

“Okay, thank you,” She scribbles in her notebook. She’s procured a new notebook for the two men, no longer the purple for Jungkook, but a marbled hard cover book with lined pages and little quotes on the bottom near the page numbers. She’s on the second or third page, scribbling away as the men talk.

“We wanted someone to be the center, not just in the lineup, but someone to guide the music or build our sound from.”

“There are seven of you total, why Jungkook?”

“He’s versatile, his voice hadn’t stopped changing, but it had range, he already could dance any style, he just, he has something special, you know?”

“Not Jimin or Taehyung?”

“Taehyung’s natural tone is so low, Jimin’s voice has this crisp once in a generation reverberation in each note he sings. It’s angelic, but Jungkook can do it all,” Namjoon answers.

“Ah, so out of the seven, he can easily meld into any position,” Dr. Aarons writes furiously, the sound of her pen scraping the page the only sound echoing in the room.

“Yes, even at 14, he could,”

“He became the center, literally and figuratively,”

Namjoon sips his water before answering. “Mm, we could train him to be a leader, train him to be dance captain or vocal leader,”

“Jimin’s the vocal leader,” Jungkook says. “He guides us all, he’s the one, not me.”

“If we’re really being honest, Hoseok holds us together,”

“You, Hobi and Jimin for sure,” Jungkook nods.

“Jungkook, will you share your first impressions of Namjoon?”

“I looked up to him, from the beginning. He’s always been honest, honorable, and just, his talent is greater than anything I’ve seen. All I ever wanted was for him to be proud of me.”

“What’s that Kendrick lyric? Loves gonna get you killed / but pride’s gonna be the death of you and me,” Namjoon says.

“I wanted you to think something of me, to see me, to recognize me as a person worthy of your attention. You made BTS what it is, your leadership. I wanted to prove myself to you, always have,” Jungkook tells him.

“Prove yourself to Namjoon, to Big Hit or to yourself?”

“All three,”

“That must’ve been difficult,”

“It was,”

“Let’s fast forward,” Dr. Aarons says, “Over the next handful of years, you two become quite intertwined, BTS undergoes a lot of challenges, but also triumphs.”

The two men nod.

“Namjoon, when did your conditioning of Jungkook begin?”

He shifts in his chair. He’d spent a lot of time with Dr. Cho working through the timeline. It was messy and complicated, hard to pinpoint exactly when things spiraled, but always easy to note when it started. “When he was sixteen, a little before then.”

“Do you remember the first act management asked you to carry out?”

“It had to do with sending him to training for dance,”

“Jungkook, do you remember?”

“I remember being sent to the states, I didn’t know it was part of conditioning me,”

“That’s something we’ve worked a lot on, right Jungkook?”

“Yes,”

“Namjoon, anything else you want to add?”

“Jungkook’s always been dedicated, he’s grown so much, but it was hard, for a while, to tell where the six of us ended, and he began.”

“Mm, the crisis of identity. What then propelled the drinking?”

“I busted my heel, and turned 21 and just started spinning out of control,”

“It wasn’t one event then; it was a collection?”

“Yes,”

“Namjoon, what were you doing at that time?”

“What was management having me do?”

“Yes,”

“I was pushing him to go to the gym, to bulk up, eating healthier,”

“I was already putting in so much time at the studio,” Jungkook feels the anger building, the heat in his belly, the strain on his throat, anger brewing like a lightning storm, opposing wind temperatures and pressures mounting.

“It wasn’t enough. Bang wanted you in the gym for at least twice as long as everyone else, in the dance studio with Hoseok or Jimin, longer than either of them,”

“They were beating themselves up too. Jimin wasn’t eating!” The first glimmer of lightning.

“I know,” Namjoon hangs his head. Jimin’s demise, wasn’t Namjoon’s fault. He played no role in the maknae’s eating woes, but he couldn’t say he didn’t play into it with his own insecurities.

“But you pushed?”

“I had to,”

“Why?” Dr. Aarons asks. “What did they have over you?”

Jungkook had spent the past few months working through what Big Hit had over Namjoon to push him to this deception. He had made guesses, but truly was curious how dire the situation was for Namjoon to commit such criminal offenses.

“They, they gave out stipends if you went to the gym or stayed at the gym longer than everyone else.”

“They gave you money?” Jungkook questions.

“Incentives… they gave them to you too, slipped into your paycheck or added to your stock options, mine were doubled.” Namjoon keeps his head low, unwilling to look either Dr. Aarons or Jungkook in the eye. He doesn’t deserve their compassion or pity.

“What else?” Dr. Aarons asks.

“It was written in my contract, I wasn’t allowed to talk about it, and I had to do what they told me. I was given the concession a few years ago that I could date, as a means to keep the peace.”

“That’s why you didn’t say anything?” The first clap of thunder, radiating.

Pulling his eyes from his palms, Namjoon squares off with Jungkook. “Yes, I legally couldn’t,”

“What would they take?” Dr. Aarons voice is the only calm in the oncoming storm.

“At first it didn’t matter, but they upped the stakes, saying I couldn’t produce, or they’d put off my mixtape months, put parameters around what percentage I could claim in writing and producing. Eventually, as the years passed, they threatened my relationship. To them it became the queen on the board, the key to making me comply,”

“It was the threat of loss,” Dr. Aarons articulates, “The fear that whatever you were holding onto would disappear if you didn’t follow through.”

“Yes,”

“The whole time they were playing you, too?” Jungkook wonders. “They were holding you hostage?”

“Yes,”

“This entire time, you’ve been hurting, and you didn’t say, anything?”

“I couldn’t,”

“Your stoicism nearly broke you,” Dr. Aarons observes.

Namjoon nods. This isn’t the first time his work has gotten the better of him, manipulating him, pushing him to new extremes. It’s not the first time his own self-preservation has clouded his judgement. His inability to not seek the best in all he does often burns him out, his need to help everyone, especially OT7, at all costs, no matter what, is the reason for so much of his heartache.

“Why did you do it?” Jungkook’s question is simple, as simple as yours had been. Why?

“I wanted everyone to be successful and feel successful. If I could help, in any way, then I was going to. I wanted you to be everything you dreamed of being,”

“The road to hell is paved with good intentions,” Dr. Aarons quips. “You wanted Jungkook to be all these things, did you stop to consider if the ways you were going about it were worth it?”

“Every day, every time he broke down, cried, was insecure, wanted to quit… we all had those moments, but Jungkook is, he’s the best of us,” Namjoon’s honesty has always been one of his strengths, which makes his therapy work that much more potent.

“I am not,” Jungkook counters, blushing amidst the tide.

“You are, even without guidance, you’ve always been the brightest star, I never want you to burn out,”

“You’ve pushed me to,” Jungkook’s tears cascade down his cheeks.

“In trying to give you longevity, yeah, I did,” It’s the break in Namjoon’s voice that pushes each man to new heights.

“You did such unforgivable things,” Jungkook spits.

Steering the ship towards calmer seas, Dr. Aarons speaks. “Of all the things that were done to you, Jungkook, in your mind, what is the one that hurts the most?”

“You created this false sense of security, making me think you were looking out for me but you were tricking me. I have all these insecurities, all these bad habits, for what?” Another lightning strike.

“I’m sorry,” Namjoon sobs.

“I know you are, but it doesn’t feel like it’s enough. You measured my food, forced me to work out more, dosed my drinks… you just, ne juwireul maemdolge / ne gyeote isseo julge / ne bichi doeeo julge,” Jungkook rattles off the lyrics. “All I’ve ever wanted was your support, your guidance, your love. You have been everything to me, and to find out you –

“I had no choice,” Namjoon’s voice rises. “They gave me no options!”

“You drugged me!” Boom. Louder and closer than before, the thunder rattles through Namjoon’s bones.

“I never said I did the right thing!” Namjoon counters.

“You put smaller pants in my closet, so I thought I was gaining weight!”

“It wasn’t my idea!”

Scoffing, Jungkook snipes, “You counted my calories and made me feel so guilty when I didn’t work out!”

“You’re the one who wanted to maintain your six pack!” Namjoon yells in return. This feels like a RUN episode gone wrong.

“What about Jimin?” Jungkook watches the flash of anger in his hyung’s eyes, wasn’t it enough that he was in here with Jungkook? Why bring Jimin in too?

“Don’t bring him into this,” Namjoon warns.

“How do your actions affect him? What about the other members?”

“They’re, fine,” He clenches his jaw.

“Yeah, because you didn’t drug them!” Jungkook strikes again.

“It wasn’t anything serious!”

“Every action has an equal, opposite reaction. This is what you did!”

Namjoon is trying not to be proud that Jungkook’s quoting Newton, but he’s a little proud.

“Management Jungkook! Management made me! Stop shooting me, I didn’t load the gun!” Namjoon yells.

“Fuck you Joon!” Jungkook stands. Hands through his hair, snot wiped against his sleeve.

“Take five,” Dr. Aarons voice is swift, coming down harsh in their ears as the two stare at opposite corners of the room. As her voice ebbs, the only sound that can be heard in the trepid waters are the sounds of this tears.

Next: Beautiful Rooms Pt. 3

16 notes · View notes

d-criss-news · 5 years ago

Link

Three months after launch, Jeffrey Katzenberg and Meg Whitman’s short-form service Quibi is entering its first awards season.

As the nascent platform, which is still finding its feet with subscribers, kicks off its debut FYC campaign, Deadline has assembled a virtual roundtable of creators and stars to explore how it lured Hollywood A-listers to the second screen, what they really thought of it when they first heard about it, the creative process, the importance of owning their own rights and how they see things going forward.

Joining us were Darren Criss, co-creator, songwriter and star of musical comedy Royalties, Nicole Richie, creator and star of irreverent comedy Nikki Fre$h, Cody Heller, creator of Anna Kendrick sex doll comedy Dummy, Veena Sud, creator of dark thriller The Stranger and Nick Santora, creator of Liam Hemsworth action drama Most Dangerous Game.

DEADLINE: What did you think of Quibi when you first heard about it?

Nicole Richie: I went in there and I had a general with them, not really knowing what I was going to make. Separately, I was kind of preparing to do this comedy album without the show around it and I sat with [Jeffrey Katzenberg] and talked to him about the platform and the idea that it was for these in between moments, and that it’s quick bites, it’s ten minutes or less, and it was something that, I found it very smart and pretty exciting. I’ve done short-form before so I definitely felt like I could do it. There’s a lot of young creative people there and I was very excited to work with them.

Darren Criss: Just like everybody else in the industry I’d heard about Quibi. Obviously, anything that you know, Jeffrey Katzenberg attaches himself, my ears kind of perk up. So, I’d been aware of the concept. I think the specific idea of short form was never something that I thought ‘I have to make short form, nor was it, oh my God, that’s the worst thing ever’. For me, what excited me about Quibi, much like Nicole said, was the fact that it was this new thing. I always gravitate towards the renegade kind of out-of-box thinkers and I always think it’s an exciting opportunity to try something.

In many respects, it is the Wild West. So, when you’re shooting stuff you go, man is this going to fly, do we do it in this aspect ratio, how do we edit this, what is the precedent here, and in the lack of precedent I think for a lot of people that is actually kind of a scary thing where you say ‘We don’t know what works and what doesn’t work’, but for me I actually look at it as a really cool thing because you’re like, ‘Wow, fuck it, shoot it, ask questions later’. We get to decide what the thing is or not. I really was excited by that, it’s a really kind of fresh kind of community of people that are with the company that just got me excited about doing something in a new way.

Cody Heller: I had a weird evolution of Dummy (left) becoming a real thing, it was kind of a twisty journey. I had just written it as a script to get me staffed on other shows years ago and then I had a general meeting with Colin Davis who used to work at TBS and I actually had it set up to be a short form show at TBS, when they were attempting something like 15-minute late night programming thing with edgy stuff. So, I had written seven 15 minute episodes and then the whole block at TBS died. I was devastated but I was already working on this other show on Showtime, so that’s the way it is and I moved on.

Then like a year later you know, I kept in touch with Colin because he’s just a cool dude, and he gave me a call and he said ‘I left TBS, I’m at this new place, you never heard of it before because it doesn’t exist yet. It’s called Quibi. I hope you don’t mind, I gave all your scripts to Jeffrey Katzenberg and he loves them and he wants to meet with you next week’. It was just like the most surreal experience, like I went in and met with Jeffrey and he was quoting lines from these insane, very raunchy scripts, and he just got the show. It was so exciting and cool to have this older Jewish gentleman totally grasp and get what I was going for. That was just so exciting.

Veena Sud: I felt when I met with Jeffrey that what he was talking about was nothing short of potentially revolutionary in how we look at content, from the vertical screen obviously, but also how people would look at our storytelling, and what device they would watch it on. I thought about how radically different our relationship is with these things we walk around with in our hands than it is with the screens that we watched you know, in our homes or in the theaters. The device itself allowed for potentially a very different experience in content, which was really, really interesting to me.

Nick Santora: Well, my initial reaction was ’What the hell is this?’ I went to meet with Jeffrey, like it seems everyone else on the call did and he’s a very impressive guy, and he’s full of energy, and full of enthusiasm. It was coming off this Most Dangerous Game being a pilot for NBC that didn’t go, and he said, ‘Listen, can you basically add a hundred pages to this and blow it up?’ When he was talking about the ten minute segments I just had a feeling what I wanted to write would work really well for that because you just needed a cliffhanger or a twist or a turn about every nine or ten minutes. I worked on Prison Break and that show was bananas, and every commercial break was a massive cliffhanger and every episode out was an even bigger cliffhanger so I said, ‘I’m going to have to do this 15 times and I thought I could I don’t know if it would have worked better anywhere else. I think it really worked well in the Quibi format because, I call it Pringles entertainment, you just pop one in your mouth every nine minutes.

DEADLINE: How was the actual process of writing, producing and editing in this way?

Nick Santora: The writing for me was the same, I just needed to make sure that organically that every nine to ten pages there was an oh shit moment that would make people want to watch the next episode. The prep was very different because I had to work very closely with my director to make sure that in addition to filming it the way we would normally film something for network television or any television that didn’t have a turnstyle device, we had to have three cameras rolling at all time and we had to make sure and prep for the shot based on the location, based on the actors, based on what was going on in the scene, that the vertical and the horizontal would both have something very interesting to fill the frame. We always had a third camera running to catch the vertical, especially when you’re doing action and we have guys you know, jumping off of boats onto bridges and stupid shit or crazy shit like that, you want to make sure you’re getting it in the frame if people are turning their phones in either direction.

That was challenging and really fun though, and then editing was effectively the same if I’m being honest, it’s just that you had to do a vertical pass and edit the entire thing for you know, for a vertical turnstyle watch. But that wasn’t that big of a deal because it all comes down to making sure you’re editing it in a way that’s visually interesting and tells a good story. The prep was where it was most different for me, where we had to basically say, this is going to basically be two different movies, one vertical and one horizontal.

Veena Sud: What was so fascinating for me with The Stranger, directing it as well, was having to think really radically in terms of not thinking about vertical and horizontal as separate entities. I really wanted to have one monitor. Looking at two monitors or three monitors is really just kind of out of my wheelhouse. I like to look at one thing when I’m directing and focus on performance mostly. So, I had to have something baked in that would allow me to have that freedom to be looking at the actors versus, ‘Are we getting the shot?’. One thing we talked about extensively in prep, which was radically different because of this is, how do you service this story and allow the audience to feel what they would feel on a bigger screen and not feel less? What I mean by this is, if you hold a phone vertically you’re automatically losing east and west, right?

We looked at other shows that had tried to do vertical framing and very quickly started to think this is going to be a disaster unless we come up with a whole other aesthetic approach to this. So, really quickly, instead of thinking east and west in terms of the screen, think of north and south, and think of A to Z. Think of infinities, think of the depth of what you’re looking at. Think of going as deep into the screen as you possibly can in a way that maybe traditionally you wouldn’t think of when you have a landscape you know, when you have that aspect ratio. So, that’s why we had people moving, that’s why we’re always leading and following for the most part, that’s why all the environments were constantly changing, and we were looking for infinity lines constantly when we’re shooting and prepping. So, pushing the aisles of a grocery store closer together so that as the actor moves through them you would see left and right in a way that you know, traditionally you would not see if you were shooting that type of aspect ratio.

Darren Criss: Obviously for the three comedy weirdos here, the medium services our genres in very, very different ways than to Nick and Veena. I was really impressed with the way that they utilized what might seem a limitation in storytelling. I noticed it consciously. I wondered how they were going to fill all of the big action stuff in here. Yes, there is this aspect ratio thing, there’s the short form, you’re still applying the same rules that you would apply to if Katzenberg told all of us ‘I want a three-hour movie’ but if it was just that, if your idea is good enough, if you’re dexterous enough as a storyteller, you can kind of kneed the dough to fill in the space that you’re given. People have thought of really cool ways to maximize their narrative within this very specific box and that variety of nuance is such an exciting thing and the fact that that’s possible in such a fresh way is like something not to be ignored.

Cody Heller: We’re all just so fucking talented [laughs]. With [The Stranger and Most Dangerous Game], I did find myself wanting to experience both versions, so I want to rewatch in the vertical just to see the difference and experience it both ways. That is different than my experience because for me I really did just kind of center frame everything, like I shot everything in one big square and then just had demarcations on the video village screen. Because I had this show where literally it’s mostly one character and then a sex doll, most of the time they’re close enough together that it’s not really an issue, but the only times I would really notice it would be establishing shots. It was such a fun challenge to rise to and I loved the experience.

DEADLINE: Do you think these shows could be made anywhere else and if not, were you aware of that while you were making them?

Cody Heller: I don’t think I could have made this show anywhere else. I think my show, in particular, blends itself so well to ten minutes because I think if you made it a half hour you’d have to really go into [B] stories, which I think for my show it just works better as a smaller piece about Cody and Barbara. Quibi was so supportive and gave me so much artistic freedom that I just cannot speak highly enough of their whole team. They give really good notes that makes it so much better.

I really loved the challenge of taking on something new and the turnstyle thing was exciting. One thing that was super cool that I didn’t think of while I was shooting but noticed during the editing process, was because Quibi has to be ten minutes, it can’t be more than ten minutes but it can be less than ten minutes, and the episodes don’t have to be uniform in length, that was very liberating in the edit stage because then I was able to say this scene that I thought was so funny on the page, it didn’t really play as I thought and it’s not necessary to the story, let’s just cut the whole scene.

Nicole Richie: Cody mentioned having the A story and the B story on a television show and just having it be the A story, it does feel very intimate. I do feel like a B story on your phone doesn’t really work because when you are watching on a phone, you really do want to be locked in to that story, and from a comedy perspective, I love the jokes, but I’m very conscious of the breath after the joke, letting people digest that. With a show like Nikki Fre$h you know, only focusing on two people and then the music video, I was able to shoot that and give the jokes a moment. I can’t see this show living anywhere else.

Darren Criss: I think ideally anything that you make is so good in that particular mode of communication that you simply cannot imagine it anywhere else because the meal has been cooked so well. But I don’t want to shoot myself in the foot if somebody would like to make a five-movie franchise deal with Royalties [laughs].

I don’t think this could have existed anywhere else in any other format simply because I don’t think anybody else would have taken a chance on what we were doing. That is one of the valuable parts that I kind of glazed over about Quibi is that they’re really creator forward and really empowering a lot of the creators. It sounds like we all had a date with the Great Oz [Jeffrey Katzenberg]. I’d like to think it could exist in other places because I’d like to think our idea is malleable enough to fit in other places, but it comes down to the belief system and the support from someone in Jeffrey Katzenberg’s shoes.

DEADLINE: Have you had any feedback in terms of whether people watched in one go or in short bursts?

Veena Sud: It’s been anecdotal and it’s been both. Some waited for the whole thing to drop so they could watch it all in one go, because that’s the muscle that we’re used to as Americans now, with all the streaming devices. The most fascinating feedback were people who watched it day by day and feeling their growing anxiety and their growing desperation for the next hit. That was fascinating because while I was cutting and shooting simultaneously, you could feel that growing kind of addictive nature of something that’s less than ten minutes long and that does have cliffhangers built into it. It’s pretty fascinating to see how the need for the next, and the next, and then next grows over time.

Cody Heller: I binged The Stranger and I think if I had to wait each day I’d probably would have had many panic attacks every day. It would have been such a different experience, and now I am curious and kind of wish that I had experienced it that way because that’s so fascinating.

Can I just circle back to one thing that we were talking about before… Nicole, you made a really smart interesting point about the phone and it being this personal thing. For me I was one of the early ones to shoot and I didn’t know at the time that it was only for your phone. I thought that you were going to be able to also watch it on your TV, so I wasn’t really aware of that and then when I found out later during post-production I was kind of bummed since I thought that especially for comedy and especially during corona, like people love to laugh together. I was happy when they decided to add the possibility to your TV feature because I love nothing more than going to the theater and laughing with people. You can’t do that during Corona but at least you can be with family members or whoever we’re quarantined with and watch something together.

Also, I just want to say one other thing, Nicole Richie, you seriously, like could be in a Christopher Guest movie.

DEADLINE: Quibi’s rights position is that you can retain the IP and after two years repackage these shows into long form versions if you want to. How important was that for you and have you thought about that since you made these shows?

Nick Santora: I’m in the process of dealing with that right now. We have a potential buyer very interested in doing Most Dangerous Game as a feature film, and it was a big selling point to me because I just intuitively thought I could take those ten-minute segments and work with the composer to smooth out some of the musical cues, get the establishing shots that we would need to act as bridges and in just a matter of weeks with some minimal effort, turn it into a nice hour and fifty-minute movie that would play really well. There’s a fair amount of interest and I think we’re going to be successful in selling it. It was a selling point to me because you know, you want as many people to see your work as possible, and I think it’s great that Quibi gives you the opportunity to just turn it into another platform and see if it can be successful there. I’m interested to see how it plays out.

Darren Criss: I think for everybody it’s sort of a no-brainer deal. If anything, it’s sort of a brilliant way to incentivize the creator to deliver the best shit humanly possible because it’s a money back guarantee. Having this deal, I kept asking what’s the catch here, like this simply cannot be the case. I was so grateful frankly for the set up that was given behind our deal that, aside from just personally wanting to make something great, I was incentivized to make this really as kickass as humanly possible for the hand the fed me.

Veena Sud: What I found so fascinating about the idea of retaining the rights to what I create, even in its modified form, is this discussion has not been around since the 70s and United Artists. It’s the radical idea that we, as creators, get to own the thing that we create, which is revolutionary and beautiful. Katzenberg introducing it into the ecosystem of our industry is something that needs to be talked about and will be resisted being talked about certainly, but let’s talk about it. Let’s use this wonderful incentive that he provided us as artists to come and play in a sandbox that hasn’t been tested as a way for we, as artists, to start talking about that we should own the rights to what we create.

Darren Criss: One of the things that Jeffrey said on the first rollout of introducing Quibi, like maybe two years ago, was saying up top that this is the single handedly most disruptive time in the entertainment industry’s history, and so structures like Veena’s talking about are being kind of thrown out the window and everyone’s kind going, wait a second, things don’t need to be like this.

I mean, right now people are considering this with the very nature of how Coronavirus is making cooperate structures reconsider their rent on buildings. We are reconsidering a lot of old things that we say, ‘Wait a second, this was maybe not the best thing’. I think we all know what I’m talking about on a much more social scale. There are a lot of things that are happening where, I think the renegades again are stepping forward and saying ‘This is fucked, why don’t we think of a different way that can empower us in a way that can really service the things we’re making in a more fruitful way.

The very question of you asking ‘Was it a good thing that you get your thing back in two years?’, that’s crazy that that gets to be a causal question. It’s an amazing thing and of all the things I think are really great about Quibi I would hope that it starts this conversation and this precedent for fueling creative in this way, and not just for the selfish sort of economic notions that I get out of it, but empowering creators can only be a good thing. I’m very careful with that because I don’t want to sound like a maniacal egotist, but there’s so many things that really incentivize positive things about content when it’s done in this structure.

Cody Heller: I mean I just can’t wait to own it again so that I can sell it to Disney+ [laughs].

—

DEADLINE: Darren, you were making Royalties at the same time as Hollywood. Would you want to do more Royalties?

Darren Criss: Yeah [but] hopefully I don’t have to do them all at the same time. I certainly echo what Cody was saying and I feel like anybody in a creative position is definitely hypercognitive of following those same principals. Having an opportunity to look at systems in different ways, in a way that can benefit so many people, is an exciting thing. It’s not, ‘Oh crap, how am I going to pull this off?. It’s like, okay, cool, let’s get all the people involved that we can to make this something really special and more beneficial for everybody involved. I mean look, we’re a whacky, zany comedy about writers that write goofy songs. That is sort of an ever-green game. There is a big pile of funny little puppies in the pen that I really want to give a home. That if there is a second season it’s giving them a place to go because we had to earn those ideas.

The hardest thing about a first season is establishing an audience’s trust, knowing your way around your actors and how the things going to look. It’s not until the second go that you kind of get to roll up your sleeves and go, alright, so here’s what we can really do, now I know what I’m working with. I really look forward in getting to do anything in a second season simply because now I’ve watched other people’s shows, I’ve seen how my show functions on this thing, I’ve seen how people react to my character’s and my jokes, and the songs, I now want to see if I can make those things that I threw out the first go, but hey, that is not up to me, that’s up to Katzenberg.

#darren criss #deadline hollywood #nicole richie #cody heller #veena sud #nick santora #royalties #royalties press #deadline roundtable #press #july 2020

22 notes · View notes

stereostevie · 4 years ago

Link

The Rap Grammy Nominations Are Weird As Hell | Nov 25, 2020 11:12 AM BY TOM BREIHAN

The very first time that the Grammy Awards recognized rap music, it was an utter fiasco — a clear case of an aging pop-music establishment failing to understand this vital new youth music that had sprung up and rewritten the rules. For the 1989 awards show, the Grammys added one rap category, Best Rap Performance. DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince won it for “Parents Just Don’t Understand,” beating out LL Cool J and Salt-N-Pepa and Kool Moe Dee and JJ Fad. The show didn’t deign to recognize Public Enemy, N.W.A, EPMD, Slick Rick, Big Daddy Kane, Eric B. & Rakim, or Ice-T, all of whom had released classic albums within the voting window. The award wasn’t televised, and most of the nominees, Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince included, skipped the show, attending a “Boycott The Grammys” party instead.

Since that night, the history of rap at the Grammys has been a series of baffling, embarrassing decisions. It’s Steely Dan winning Album Of The Year over The Marshall Mathers LP. It’s Gretchen Wilson winning Best New Artist over Kanye West. “It’s weird and it sucks that I robbed you.” It’s also a history of rappers getting angry over the Grammys: “I never let a statue tell me how nice I am,” “You think I give a damn about a Grammy?” In 2019, Drake showed up to accept Best Rap Song. In his acceptance speech, he talked about how the Grammy voters weren’t necessarily the right people to define rap success. The broadcast cut him off mid-speech. Earlier this year, Kanye West, a man who once cared more about Grammy Awards than anyone else not named Neil Portnow, tweeted a video of himself pissing on one of his Grammys. (The Grammys still nominated West this year, for Best Contemporary Christian Music Album.)

Yesterday, the Grammys nominated Freddie Gibbs and the Alchemist’s Alfredo in the Best Rap Album category. That’s great! Freddie Gibbs is a great underground rap success story, a guy who bet on himself and kept doing great work in his own lane even after multiple major-label situations fell apart. Gibbs has never made a hit song in his life, and he’s gotten himself into a position where he doesn’t need to make hit songs — where he can just follow his instincts and keep his own style intact. Alfredo isn’t my favorite rap record of the year. (Even in the field of Alchemist-produced 2020 rap albums, I’d give the slight edge to Boldy James’ The Price Of Tea In China.) But the nomination for Alfredo is still a very cool surprise, the kind of thing that I would’ve never expected to see from the Grammy nominating committee.

youtube

And yet Gibbs’ nomination doesn’t exactly announce a new golden age of Grammy rap consideration, a time when Recording Academy voters are finally figuring out how to approach the genre. Instead, his nomination points toward something else: An institutional recognition of middlebrow, middle-aged, respectable rap music.

All of this year’s Best Rap Album nominees are Black men between the ages of 35 and 47. The oldest nominee is Nas, who is now on his fifth Best Rap Album nomination and who has never won the award. (The Best Rap Album Grammy didn’t exist in 1994, when Nas released Illmatic, but there’s no way in hell that Nas would’ve won it anyway. The Academy would’ve given the award to Coolio’s It Takes A Thief or something.) The youngest nominee is D Smoke, a former high school Spanish teacher who is also the brother of the TDE R&B singer SiR. D Smoke made his way into Grammy contention after winning the first season of Rhythm + Flow, the Netflix rap-competition show. (Two of the three judges from Rhythm + Flow, Cardi B and Chance The Rapper, have won Best Rap Album themselves. T.I., the other judge, has been nominated three times and never won.)

youtube

D Smoke isn’t exactly a revered or popular rapper, and I have’t seen anyone calling his perfectly-OK album Black Habits a masterpiece, though the man has certainly done better than anyone could’ve expected from a rap reality-show winner. But D Smoke raps exactly like a diet version of Kendrick Lamar, so his nomination works as a clear indication that the Grammy voters really, really wish they had a Kendrick album to nominate. D Smoke is also up for Best New Artist, alongside fellow rappers Chika, Megan Thee Stallion, and (I guess) Doja Cat. Presumably, Megan’s Good News would also be nominated if it had come out early enough to be eligible. Meanwhile, Chika hasn’t released an album, and Doja Cat is nominated in the pop categories, not the rap ones.

Instead, then, we’re looking at five guys hovering around the age of 40, all of whom are respected technicians with boom-bap inclinations. Jay Electronica, who’s nominated for A Written Testimony and who should probably be considered the front-runner, is technically a New Orleans native, but nobody thinks of him as a Southern rapper. (Jay-Z is all over A Written Testimony, to the point where anointing Jay Electronica feels a bit like throwing awards love to Jay-Z in a year with no Jay-Z album.) All the albums up for Best Rap Album are, at the very least, solid. A couple of them, Alfredo and A Written Testimony, are very good. But this is still a remarkably stodgy list — one that shows that the whole middle-aged respectability fetish that’s long plagued the Grammys is now embedded in its rap voting wing.

Freddie Gibbs and Nas and Jay Electronica and D Smoke and Royce Da 5’9″ are all gifted rappers who have done great work. Most of them could justifiably be considered legends. But none of them really show the world where rap music is, let alone where it’s going. By recognizing those albums, the Grammys have pointedly elected not to recognize something like Lil Baby’s My Turn, which is probably 2020’s most popular album in any genre and which is also a fine example of the 808-heavy depressive melodic-goo rap music that currently dominates the genre’s mainstream.

youtube

Other hugely popular, artistically important albums are also absent: Lil Uzi Vert’s Eternal Atake, Roddy Rich’s Please Excuse Me For Being Antisocial, Polo G’s The Goat, Gunna’s Wunna, Rod Wave’s Pray 4 Love. Instead, the rap albums getting nominated are the 2020 equivalents of the Steely Dan album that famously beat Eminem. That’s not an indictment of the nominated albums. It’s an indictment of the stuff the Recording Academy values. It’s also a cautionary look of how things might look if the Recording Academy ever gets its way, if rap comes to rely on accepted ossified skill-sets instead of its current state of constant, furious stylistic evolution.

As someone who’s around the same age as this year’s Best Rap Album nominees, I’m not all that amped to see emotionally troubled, pill-gobbling 20-year-olds dominating rap music. But those kids are crucially moving the genre past whatever old men like me might want it to be. Fortunately, there’s at least one Grammy category that has done a pretty good job capturing where things are right now, and that’s Best Rap Song. The list of nominations there — Lil Baby’s “The Bigger Picture,” Roddy Ricch’s “The Box,” Drake’s “Laugh Now, Cry Later,” DaBaby’s “Rockstar,” and Megan Thee Stallion’s “Savage” — isn’t necessarily perfect, but it’s a fairly accurate representation of the kind of rap that moves people right now. I don’t know why the division between the Best Rap Album and Best Rap Song nominees is so stark. Maybe it’s a signal that the album is increasingly irrelevant. Maybe it reflects two different voting bodies. Either way, it’s striking.

youtube

Look, the Grammys are weird. They are always going to be weird. Fiona Apple’s Fetch The Bolt Cutters should’ve been the biggest lay-up in the world, but it isn’t up for Album Of The Year. Instead, the Academy’s voters went for Coldplay and Jacob Collier and a deluxe edition of a Black Pumas album that didn’t even come out in the eligibility period. “Rockstar” and “Savage” are both up for Record Of The Year, but Post Malone’s Hollywood’s Bleeding is the only album that’s even rap-adjacent that’s nominated for Album Of The Year this year. I thought for sure that Lil Baby’s My Turn would be the token rap album that would inevitably lose to Taylor Swift. Instead, we didn’t even get one of those, and My Turn got snubbed even in its own category. Nothing makes sense.

But this year’s Best Rap Albums nominations still show a weird alignment between Grammy Voters and a certain streak of real-hip-hop rap conservatism. Watch out for that. Nothing good, except maybe a Freddie Gibbs Grammy win, will come out of that.

FURIOUS FIVE

1. Roc Marciano – “Downtown 81” It’s not on streaming services yet, but Roc Marciano’s new album Mt. Marci is out in the world now, and it is marvelous. (I can’t tell you whether the digital download is worth the $40 that Marci is charging on his website. Make your own financial decisions.) Right now, the only song out for general consumption is one of the few that Marci didn’t produce himself. (It’s a Jake One beat.) But otherwise, “Downtown 81” is exactly the sort of laid-back, intricately worded deadpan splendor that you can expect to hear on the LP, whenever it goes wide. So maybe that’s worth the price of a full tank of gas.

2. Meek Mill – “GTA” (Feat. 42 Dugg)

Meek Mill released his Quarantine Pack EP on Friday, and the track currently getting the big push is the downbeat Lil Durk collab “Pain Away.” But the real thrill here is in hearing Meek and 42 Dugg getting bracingly urgent over a Detroit-ass bassline.

3. Chief Keef & Mike Will Made-It – “Status” Sosa and Mike Will have evidently chosen to name their new song after this column. Gentlemen, I see this tribute, and I appreciate it. I love you too.

4. Willie The Kid & V Don – “Mother Of Pearls” (Feat. Eto) This is pretty.

5. Statik Selektah – “Play Around” (Feat. Conway The Machine, 2 Chainz, Killer Mike, Allan Kingdom, & Haile Supreme)

Once upon a time, maybe 13 years ago, I was apparently such a recognizable and influential part of the New York rap press that Statik Selektah noticed me at an MOP show, introduced himself, and tried to get me to listen to his mix CD. All these years later, Statik is a globally acknowledged boom-bap specialist with enough juice to put three of the world’s greatest middle-aged rappers on a track together. I’m proud of Statik. I bet he gets nominated for a Grammy someday.

#alchemist #chief keef #d smoke #freddie gibbs #grammys #grammy awards #hip-hop #jay electronica #meek mill #mike will made-it #music #nas #rap #roc marciano #statik selektah #stereogum #willie the kid

4 notes · View notes

cecilspeaks · 6 years ago

Text

148 - The Broadcaster

Leonard Burton: The opposite of war is not peace. It is tedium. Greetings from Night Vale.

[distorted version of the theme song]

Hello, listeners. it’s your regular host Leonard Burton welcoming you to yet another beautiful day in Night Vale. There is the sun, of course. I don’t need to tell you there is a sun, you know this. You’re so confident that he sun is there. Past performance is not a predictor of future results, folks, yet sure as I say it, there is the sun. And near the sun are clouds, but they’re not near, are they? Millions of miles separate those clouds from that sun. And yet our eyes measure mere inches of the space between. What deception, this human sight.

The air is crisp and cool. A slight morning breeze touches us. We feel it like cold fingers playfully caressing our shoulders, our hair, our skin. I see no breeze, but I feel it. That which I feel, that is my only truth, listeners. Wind is a verity.

I hope you will join me in closing your eyes and walking naked through the invisible yet irrefutable air. Hold aloft your arms, widen your jaw and feel the impact of atom upon atom upon atom against your body.

This day is beautiful. This day is crisp. This day is true.

This morning I nearly died. I’m always nearly dying, proximity is subjective. This morning I nearly died in the same way I nearly die every day. After waking, I showered. After showering, I drank coffee. After coffee, I ate a grapefruit and oatmeal. After eating, I walked. After walking, I walked some more. I do not own a car and I live two miles from my work. I purchased a quart of whole milk, and then I climbed a tree. Atop a tree branch, I saw a grackle’s nest and I drank my milk. I counted four eggs, each of them blue. Each of them lifeless, abandoned for countless years. I did not finish my milk, because I cannot digest milk. I poured the remainder into the nest. Then I climbed down from the tree and walked again. I do this every day. It is, as the French say, vie sans signification.

As I approached the radio station, a cargo truck driven by a man who was not tall, barrelled down Mesa Boulevard. I stretched one foot outward from my body like so, and here I demonstrate my leg extending outward. A tentative (-) [0:05:00] as the French dancers phrase it. My head was turned away from the oncoming traffic, because I saw a municipal garbage can on fire. Gathered around the flaming bin were angels touching together their unusually long fingers and moaning. The cargo truck honked loudly, but it was not as loud as the moans from the fire-lit celestial beings, so I did not alter my attention. I stepped into the roadway like this. And then again like this, and then again like this. Then again several more times, til I had crossed the road safely. Immediately following my final step, the cargo truck roared past me. I had not died, but I had a vision of my death. No, not a vision. What do you call a vision without visuals? My vision was every other sense. I had a dreadful snap, I felt my legs (accordion) [0:05:56] beneath my neck, I tasted blood and asphalt, I smelled the pungent rubber tire against my nose. My vision halted me for what seemed like hours but was less than a second.

I should have died, Night Vale. For it was in my vision. Yet I did not. The truck honked again, and the man in the passenger seat who was not short waved his fit and cursed at me. On the back of the truck were several wooden crates emblazoned with a white labyrinth above a black square. The crates glowed from within. I do not glow from within. I am darkness from within. I crossed the street, the angels moaned, and I wet myself.

It is a beautiful day in Night Vale. How was your morning?

And now the news. There is peace in our time, Night Vale. We hold a parade today to celebrate the end of the Blood Space War. The Blood Space War ended many years in the future, and we celebrate armistice today. Time, you see, is not a line but a (-) [0:07:10], which is kind of like a donut. And we are living within the donut. If we were to look out across a hall in the middle of the donut, we would see other times that have happened both before and after us. This presumes we can see time, which we cannot. We can only describe visually the shape of things that have no shape. Here is an incomplete visual description of things that have no shape. One: death is a bottomless pool of clear water. Two: wind is a question mark. Three: morality is a thermos. Four: love is an overfull shopping bag with a broken handle. Five: fear is a cinderblock tower with a single door and no windows. I hope that makes sense to you, dearest listeners. Because it does not to me. I’m neither a scientist nor a poet. I’m a radio host. I merely repeat to you that which I have learned. And what I have learned is that time is shaped like a donut. Beyond that, I have no comprehension.

When you woke up this morning, Night Vale, did you remember a life you never had? Did you experience the faint memory of a conversation, of a smell, of a feeling that never happened? Jamais vu, I believe the French say. The French say so much. And what do they know of peace? Today, I celebrate peace, however I do it alone. I broadcast my feelings to no one. Night Vale is empty, and I am its only citizen. Yet I have a vision of a town full of people. One of those people is a man, a radio intern named Cecil Palmer, but he is not here. No one is here. No one has ever been here. Has he died? I do not know. He simply is no longer here. You do not remember his years of fine reporting on this very radio station, because you never heard those reports. I did.

I remember things that never happened, yet I have no evidence of any of it. Let me describe to you the shape of Cecil Palmer. He’s a line of leafless mesquite trees, he is a glass factory, he is a golf ball sized (hell) [0:09:37], he has a voice like distant highway traffic. He loves coffee and handshakes, he wears tight clothing, and has never once worked with modelling clay. He covers mirrors with cloth and has an irrational fear of glowing lights beneath locked doors and dark hallways. You cannot know any of this, because Cecil is my vision, not yours. He is real all the same. He is to be my replacement when I retire. But he does not exist, so I can never retire. I am your permanent host. I can still see his face. I’ve said it before and I will say it once more. What deception is human sight!

The parade for the end of the Blood Space war has begun! There is no one attending, because no one lives in Night Vale. Perhaps we’ll reach a day when no one has ever lived. An emissary has arrived in town to lead the parade. The emissary’s an astronaut, bloated white arms and a mirror for a face. The emissary walks slowly through our empty city streets. I do not know why I broadcast this to you, dear listener. For you are not even here. No one is here, except for me and the emissary, who walks like a marionette under the wobbly control of a novice puppeteer. And the angels, whose moans are songs and whose fingertips are (-) [0:11:11] rods. Also there’s the two men in the cargo truck who are driving far beyond our town. And somewhere there are the French, who are inventing phrases to describe, I don’t know what.

The parade of absent floats along empty streets (-) by a mirror faced marshmallow of a grand marshall approaches our radio station. I will enjoy getting to see the festivities up close and describing shapes out of the shapeless.

And now the Children’s Fun Fact Science Corner. Kids, did you know that everyone experiences time differently? Physicist Albert Einstein once said: “There’s no business like show business. Like no business I know.” He said this while starring in “Annie Get Your Gun” in London’s West End. The performed the title role ten years before Irving Berlin even wrote the musical. This is because Albert Einstein experienced time differently, but only when it came to songwriting. He had the complete discography of both Leonard Cohen and Kendrick Lamar before either were born.

And perhaps, like you and I only hear music after it is written, we experience time differently in other was. Like say our births. Think about your birth. You don’t remember it, do you? This could be because you’ve forgotten it, but how do you forget something that so powerfully impacted you? I would argue that your birth was the important moment in your life, and you have forgotten it? I cannot believe you’re so cavalier as to allow the memory of your entry into this world to dissipate like steam from a screaming kettle! No, you do not remember your birth, because it has not happened yet. I am sure this is scientifically true. It can be the only explanation. You experience time differently. One day you will be born, and you will experience awe and pain and confusion. You will begrudge the lack of input you were given in this decision. You did not ask to be born, and yet pow, bam, squish, there you are, or were, or will be.

Earth is an (--) [0:13:32] during a flood. Memory is the chipped bark of the cedar tree. Time is a donut. This has been the Children’s Fun Fact Science Corner.

The parade has ended. The street moments ago crowded with no one are once again still empty. The celebration of peace has ended, and another beautiful day comes to a close. The sun, like a shopkeeper with no customers, leaves work early. And the radio softly reminds us the shapes of the shapeless.

Oh! Oh dear, you startled me. Listeners, the emissary has appeared in my studio without warning, without even opening a door. And they’re sitting in the chair next to me and slowly rotating. Their visor is open, and I’m being forced to stare at the ineffable darkness within the emissary’s helmet. This seems like a good time For the weather.

[Subspace” by RAQIA https://raqia.bandcamp.com and https://www.instagram.com/raqiaband/]

Have you ever forgotten where you put your keys? You were certain they were on the mantle, but they were not. Have you ever missed an appointment because you were sure it was on Wednesday at noon and not Tuesday at ten? Have you ever remembered a life you did not lead? Has a carefully collated series of words ever made you uncertain, unconfident or un, just un? Un as an adjective onto itself.

The emissary arrived from the future, from space. The emissary told me changes were made, and those changes became mistakes and those mistakes became truths, and all of it would need to be undone. “Night Vale is a vibrant and full city with tens of thousands of people,” the emissary said. “Yet here you are, Leonard, the only person in Night Vale.” I nodded into the dark onyx of the emissary’s face screen. “How old are you, Leonard?” the emissary asked. I did not know. I still do not know. The emissary revealed to me a newspaper clipping. From the Night Vale Daily Journal obituary section dated November 1983. There was a photo of me and a story about my life: my childhood, my radio career, my wife, my children – my death. It was all true and yet I remembered none of it, except for the last part. I looked at my obituary photo. I read how I died. Under cargo truck wheels on Mesa Boulevard. In print, everything looks true. “What deception is human sight,” I said. The emissary lifted their trick gloved hands to their neck, unlatched the snaps and removed their helmet. I saw the face of an old woman, with sunken tearful eyes. “I am the general,” the emissary said, placing her enormous soft paw upon my hand. “I have tried to save myself, my soldiers, my town, my planet, through time travel. Every time we lose a battle, I return to before it even happened and fight it again. I fight each battle over and over, until we have won.” “You’re an excellent general,” I told her. “Of course I am,” she snapped. “In battle. But each time I interfere in the timeline, I create a widening ripple of historical changes. And now Night Vale is empty, on the verge of never having existed at all. This must be undone. Do you understand me, Leonard?” I nodded yes, to hide the fact that I did not understand. The emissary pointed to the moon. An enormous piece of the moon was missing. I did not remember that the moon was broken, but also I rarely look at the moon out of disdain. “Like the moon, time has broken,” she said. “Night Vale should be full of people, and you should have died long ago, Leonard,” she added. “Do you understand?” I shook my head no, to hide the fact that I did understand. “I’m sorry, Leonard,” she said. If Night Vale is repaired, you will return to the grave.” “But you have achieved peace,” I argued. “I have achieved peace,” she said. “And in doing so, I have made it so that no one in this city, or this world, or this universe, ever lived. I have achieved an infinitude of emptiness. Leonard, look.” She touched my shoulder with one hand, and with the other, she indicated once more the moon. When I looked, the moon was again whole. I looked back at the general and she was gone.

I hear now a voice, not my own, like distant highway traffic. I do not think I should be alive, but I do not know what else to be. Am I a ghost? Am I a god? Am I at all? Whatever it is I am, I reject my end. I embrace my existence, even in a world with no one to acknowledge it. I never wish to die, Night Vale, and still I refuse to do so. I am a broadcaster. I do not stop broadcasting simply because I do not live!

Stay through next for grackles hatching from long dormant eggs, and anything else I wish to describe, real or not. For you do not hear me anyway. And until tomorrow, See ya Night Vale, See ya.

Today’s proverb: Ask your doctor about dogs. Have a long conversation about how good dogs are. Show each other pictures of dogs.

#welcome to night vale #wtnv #welcome to night vale transcripts #episode 148 #the broadcaster

76 notes · View notes

doctorstarinken · 5 years ago

Text

One Time For TeedaMac

Troye,

I’ll never forget the day we met. I pulled up to the studio at CalArts not expecting much to be honest. Nikko had told me he was going to bring a rapper and I my general attitude was “Yea, okay. Sure.”

You were a big dude, man. But you were a different big dude. Kind of like a Patrice O’Neal, Shaq, Biggie kind of big dude. Physically big, huge personality, big laugh, and more importantly you had a huge heart. There was a quiet confidence you displayed while you patiently waited your turn to hop on the mic that evening. Most people get -- myself included -- don’t really know how to act inside a studio. I’ve learned to tame that part of myself by being really, really enthusiastic and be really encouraging of everyone’s creative process. You’re not like that though. You just sat back patiently, cracked jokes, and picked our brains on our collective views on music.

That’s the other thing that won me over. I could sense that you were just a big music lover and music nerd. You asked me my views on trap, and I gave you some bullshit generic response to which you replied, “That doesn’t really tell me your opinion though.” I respected that. Before you even knew me, you had a charming gall to you to say what needed to be said.

Fast forward to when you got behind the mic.

Man... there are a few musical moments I remember vividly. The first time I conducted an orchestra, my undergraduate audition, my first day as a contracted/hired songwriter in a large studio, the first rehearsal I ever had with the lady who later become my wife, and the first time I heard you jump behind that Neumann.

Everything about your performance that evening was so flawless. Your voice, the lyrics, the flow, content, vibe, et al. You just had everything, man. And the best thing about it, you were fucking cooler than ice cold, bruh. You can spot talent by how hard -- or in this case, how not hard-- someone is working. There has always been such an ease in your delivery. Even when you fucked up, it was done with grace.

Just as I’ll never forget the evening we met, I’ll never forget the day Nikko called me to deliver the bad news. I was in Honolulu teaching underprivileged high-school students how to film score using affordable software and was lucky enough to work in a truly world-class studio. The folks who contracted me were also kind enough to allow me to use the studio to work on whatever projects I wanted to work on as long as I had finished working on the student projects beforehand.

It was exciting. I was flown out to Hawaii, was given a ridiculous per diem, didn’t have to pay out of pocket for lodging, and more importantly, I was working in the same studio that where a lot of my favorite records were made.

The plan was to get a lot of post-production out of the way for our project. Seemed like the perfect situation. Get flown out, work in a dope studio, and work on your own personal projects after-hours. What could possibly go wrong?

Just like I’ll never forget the evening that I first heard you rap, I’ll never be able to shake the feeling I got when Nikko called me and told me you were diagnosed with cancer.

I gotta be honest. I still can’t believe you were diagnosed with cancer. I still can’t believe you didn’t beat it. I still can’t believe you’re gone.

Intellectually speaking, I know you’re not here. What I mean to say is that, I recall visiting you before you got transferred to Keck and that I recall driving up to Fresno to see you for the first time since I got the news. I remember the day you called me and told me you were in a hospital in LA and that I could come visit you. I remember the weekends I’d spend with you kicking your ass on 2k and saying something along the lines of “Son, even if your make-a-wish was to get better at 2k, I’d still kick your ass. Fuck you. Guard this money ass three pointer.” I remember making jokes about how I preferred when you were incapacitated because at least you didn’t talk back. Honestly I think the nurses were a bit shocked, but we just had that relationship. We could say the most fucked up things to each and laugh about it.

During the day of your memorial, your pastor said that you fought. You fought everyday to survive and you battled this bullshit disease until you couldn’t and that the rest of us in the memorial should do the same. That is to fight everyday for life.

Truthfully, I haven’t fought everyday since you passed. It’s difficult. In my own selfish understanding, it wasn’t just that I lost a friend and a brother, I lost my fucking career. I poured everything I had into our record and while it’s very painful for me to listen back to it, I know it’s fucking good. It’s one of those things where I actually don’t care for people’s opinions about this record because I know it’s good and if someone doesn’t like it, it’s not for them. We made this record for us and we were about ready to usher in a new paradigm shift in hip-hop.

I know that probably sounds hyperbolic as fuck, but what good does believing in a record I can no longer perform in public do for me? Whether we were actually as good as I think we are is irrelevant, I knew we were going to the very top because I finally had a proper MC in my corner who saw eye-to-eye with me and an MC who could body any piece of music I gave them.

You elevated what I wrote. Without you, everything I wrote were just these bland academic exercises in showing people how well I can music. You gave my work heart and soul and turned it into art.

But now you’re gone and you have been since October. And as much as I’d love to fondly look back at our short time together and as much as I like to imagine of what we were both robbed of, I don’t think it’s really healthy for me to do so anymore.

I’ve always wondered about the human soul since I was a child. My grandfather died when I was very young, followed by my uncle, and during my teenage years my other uncle quite literally died in my arms. I’m not a stranger to death. I grew up christian so every Sunday I was reminded of the death and resurrection of Christ.

But for whatever reason, your passing really hit me hard. I wish I could say that I’d see you again some day, but I really don’t know where we go when our time on Earth is done and I think that’s what scares me the most. The idea that all I’ll ever have are the memories I shared with you is the scariest part. We didn’t know each other that long, but we grew close. You got to know me and I got to know you through our shared work. The music I presented to you was a tangible representation of my best self as expressed through sound. In turn, you gave me the best representation of yourself through your lyrics.

Collaboration is a sacred bond. My friend, Max, who I so wish you got to meet, told me that when he got on the phone with me to console me after he had learned I was grieving your loss. While there are a lot of things I don’t know about the nature of reality, I can say with full confidence that my favorite thing about being an artist is the communion that occurs where people are in a room trying to create something out of nothing. While I don’t know where we go after we die, I do believe in the divine because I have experienced with when working with talented people like yourself. There is a quiet agreement that we are all trying transcend our current situation and hopefully share that with the world.

Teeda, you were more than a friend and collaborator. You were my brother. I didn’t grow up with biological brothers, but there is an old adage that goes “you don’t have to be blood to be brothers.” While blood is thicker than water, the frequencies we pushed out into existence is the only connection I need to call you family.

While I wish I could wipe you from my memory as having to live with the fact that one of the most beautiful humans I’ve ever known has left at such a young age is too painful, I know that your spirit will always live on. I see your face in Alonzo’s and I’m always so hyped whenever Joss shares pictures of your son on her IG.

I wish it had worked out differently. I wish you had beat cancer and that we had gone on the road and fucking killed stages from here all the way to Manila. I wish we had more time to make more music and that we could have made your wildest dreams come true. I wish you could have shown your mom just how ridiculously talented her son is. (She shared me that story on how she asked her A&R friend to talk you out of rapping only for him to be like “Yo, he’s actually super dope. He’s a little raw, but if he keeps at it he can be something.”) I’m not sure if you heard, but at the end of your days at City of Hope, your mom would play our song all the time and the nurses and medical staff would always look in amazement that it was our song playing. One dude even said that you sound like J. Cole. I mean... I’m not the biggest J. Cole fan, but I know you loved him and thought he was better than Kendrick. I still think that opinion is mad trash, but you’re dead now so I guess you literally took that stance to your grave. Respect.

I had so many plans for us. I really did believe we could have done whatever the fuck we wanted to. You made us that good. But I have to let those plans go as I have to let you go. I wish I didn’t have to, but I gotta do like you and fight for my life everyday that I’m on this planet.

Working with you to craft the songs we have crafted will always be one of the highest honors I will ever undertaken in my life. Knowing that someone as talented as you considered me a friend, brother, and a collaborator will always be one of the highest compliments that anyone can ever bestow upon me.

Rest easy, OG. I truly hope we can chop it up in another dimension when my time here is through. I’ll keep a lookout on Zo for you. I promise.

-DMR

1 note · View note

praphit · 5 years ago

Text

Another Year, Another Recap - “Have a Coke and a smile... :)”

So, we're getting to the end, people. We're about to finish off another year. Personally, this year has been immensely better than the last.

I didn't even want to stay up and do any celebrating at the end of 2018. I just wanted to go to bed and be done with that bleepin year. This year has been a hell of a lot better. I hope that all of you can say something similar, but if not, there's always going to bed early, and putting your hope in the next year.

This past Christmas (and all Christmas', really) I spent time doing a lot of hating on Christmas music; it's a valued tradition of mine. I am, however, always surprised to find a few songs each year that don't bother me all that much. This year, one of them was John Legend's "Baby, It's cold outside" ft Kelly Clarkson

- a rewritten, sans rapey vibe rendition to boot its 1940's something predecessor.

In this version (at least how I interpret it), both people wanted some action that night. John says all of the right stuff ("I'll call you a car", "maybe you SHOULD go"), creating a safe environment, and most importantly, not coming off as sleazy and rapey. He's also protecting himself with this recording:) But, let's be clear... he wants some, and he wants it bad! While Kelly, also wants some, but doesn't want to come off as being a hoe. Nobody wants to be labeled a hoe. So, she says all of the right things as well ("My dad and brother are waiting for me", "I've gotta visit my sick grandma", "Gotta get home to the KIDS") But, at the end of the night, they both make a decision to sing to one another "Baby, It's cold outside, so let's stay in and BLEEP." That's how you do it! No guilt! No #METOO! No wife and kids around. All is well:) Divorces are still rising, and more older people (as well as old as bleep people) are on dating apps than ever before. Consider this song a Christmas gift from John & Kelly to you.

Sexiest man alive in 2019 btw

Congrats. Classic coming-up-out-of-the-water sexy.

There has been some good music in 2019. Good stuff happening. Also some sad and weird stuff happening in music - all things balance out, I suppose.

GOOD:

Lizzo

I am here for all things Lizzo.

SAD & WEIRD:

Maroon 5's Super Bowl performance. It wasn't even really M5's fault; they simply did what they always do. It was more a poor choice by the NFL. A boring and awkward performance. There was a time when all anybody wanted was a shirtless Adam Levine- both women AND men. Even times when he wasn't performing, he would show up places, some random person would announce to everyone "Don't worry, Adam WILL be taking off his shirt tonight." Talk about ME TOO. It was so bad that the old, white, slaveowners of the NFL hired Jay-Z (one of the blackest icons we have) to come and save them. We'll see how that turns out.

GOOD & WEIRD:

Tyler, The Creator - "IGOR"

One of my fav projects of the year. Tyler, the Creator is an odd dude - I mean this as a compliment. I love how Hip-Hop has evolved. There's a lot more room nowadays to be yourself, no matter how outsiders might deem your behavior as weird (sometimes, others NOT saying this as a compliment). I love his creativity, and hope he continues to inspire other artists (especially in hip-hop) to be creative. Heeeee also says stuff like this "I like girls, but I have sex with their brothers." But, also uses the word "gay" as an insult. Who knows?? There's a lot to unpack there.

SAD:

In other news, Camila Cabello might be a racist. Y'all can look it up if you'd like, but some posts of hers resurfaced. I'm a fan of hers, and checked out the posts for myself, thinking "People are prob just overreacting" - they're not, it's bad. She has apologized, saying the whole "I'm older and wiser now" thing. The prob with that is she's only 22.

GOOD & BAD, I GUESS:

ADELE

It's always good to see Adele out and about. These holiday pics show that's she's still alive (I get concerned, cuz she tends to disappear for a while) and apparently a lot thinner. This of course stirs men to say men type things, women to go on the attack, and all genuine compliments towards her to get lost. The good news is, Adele seems to be getting pretty chummy with Santa, and everyone knows that St. Nick is a heartbreaker. Adele should be spurned and back in the studio writing amazing tunes soon enough.

WEIRD:

Kanye

These pics say it all.

... that being said, I love his new music (which is how I stamp all of my conversations about Ye).

GOOD:

Billie Eilish!

Now (like many), one of my fav artists.

BAD:

She just turned 18, so of course, us men being ourselves again say things like "She's 18 now. You know what that means." Honestly, I'm still trying to figure out what that means. Nothing says crossing-over into womanhood quite like being objectified.

Speaking of 2019 pervs - R.KELLY!

We can throw MJ and... what the hell, I'll just throw Spacey in there as well (his documentary is coming soon enough, I'm sure).

We were all enthralled by these two docuseries. It's interesting how different races respond to MJ. Both see him as... you know, but most black people are still listening to his music. White people on the other hand are ready to riot every time someone plays one of his songs... except around Halloween - gotta have "Thriller".

We love depressing television.

There was "Chernobyl" as well as "When they see us"

Movies too -

"Joker"

I love this movie, but it's about a homicidal clown, struggling with mental illness.

"Us"

I love this movie, but it's about classism and marginalization.

"Endgame"

It's largely about grief.

It's the best movie of the year, as far as I'm concerned!

It should win all awards!

ALL OF THEM!

Best Horror

Best Comedy

Best Romance

Remember when he sent the message to his wife? Cute, right?

Personally, I think he and Nebula were banging in each other.

... I think that story is going to come out some day. C’mon... they were up in space, alone... they both thought they were going to die. She was like “OMG, I’ve always wanted to bang Robert Downey Jr.

He was like “I don’t blame you.”

But, afterwards, he was like

- you know? He felt all bad, because he’d never get to do that again (that was the last of his energy). Annnnd also because he cheated. Which led to that cute recording for his wife. SEE, it’s all connected!

Best actor in Josh Brolin (Thanos) - the range of emotions (satisfaction, terror, humility, revenge, arrogance, beatin ass, defeat) Leo and Brad Pitt ain't have to do all of that!

Best Actress... hmm.. idk about this one. Many say J.Lo deserves an Oscar for her performance in "Hustlers" - a movie made for strippers, by strippers.

Exotic dancers are making a comeback! Maybe one day, stripping will be going in the same direction marijuana is - just something people do. No more shame! You can actually make a decent living at it - ain't that right, Stormy?

And who can forget this J.Lo quote "This city, this whole country, is a strip club. You've got people tossing the money. and people doing the dance."

There have also been plenty of things in 2019 that I have not understood:

1) Hatin on Greta

Greta - trying hard to do what she believes will make this world a better place for us all.

Certain people - "Shut that bitch up! She's crazy!"

2) Hatin on Megan Rapinoe

MP - leading a soccer team to a World Cup victory, being outspoken for women's rights and gay rights, having awesome purple hair, and trying to be the best leader and athlete she can be.

Certain people - "Shut that bitch up! She's Crazy! Equal pay my ass!"

3) Popeyes Chicken Sandwich

- the gov't test for a new crack epidemic. Sadly, I never got to partake.

4) Allison Mack

- This whole story began being unveiled in 2018, but continued through this year. I still don’t understand how this story has not gotten more attention. Some of y’all don’t even know what I’m talking about.... google it, and be horrified.

5) BTS (and K-pop in general)

-I love them, but... our country's K-Pop fetish has gotten kinda out of hand. All kinds of artists are trying to share the spotlight with them. Next, we're going to see them team up with Kendrick Lamar.

6) TikTok - I just don't get it. What’s the difference?

7) Cancel Culture

To me all cancel culture is silenced by Trump being our president. Where was all of this righteous indignation when we voted him into office? You might say "I didn't vote for him." Yeah, but, WE did - Idk what that says about us, but it's prob not good.

It doesn't even really work - Louis CK is currently selling out venues for an unapologetic tour. I'm not even saying that it SHOULD work (in SOME cases). I'm simply saying that it doesn't work (in most cases). But, perhaps the fear of it working is enough. Or perhaps we should think through how we spend our anger.

BUT, enough of that! It's time to pass out this year's PRAPHIE AWARD!

Here are the noms:

Jordan Peele

Pedro the turtle

(no need for context, just know he’s awesome)

Baby Yoda

(btw - studies show that if you have access to "The Mandalorian" and you AREN'T watching it, you're an asshole. This is not ME talking, this is science)

Megan Rapinoe (who I’ve already mentioned)

Flying Elbow Guy (Again, this requires no context. It’s Flying Elbow Guy! There is a baseball player who’s name I can’t remember. He took on a whole team, and... you know what - that’s too much exposition. It’s Flying Elbow Guy!

Keanu Reeves

Annnnnnnd! It’s...

...

KEANU!

This year:

Of course JW, Toy Story 4, Cyberpunk 2077, “Always be my Maybe”, plus we found out that he’s down for The Matrix 4, John Wick 4, and Bill & Ted. CRAZY!

Also my BAMF of the year (see previous post)!

We love Keanu Reeves so much, that he's allowed to murder as many people as he wants (as John Wick).

We'll get mad if an actor who's not handicapped is playing someone who is, we'll get mad about whitewashing (as we should), we'll get mad if things are too sexualized, we GOT MAD at "Joker" for predicted violence. But, Keanu can murder all he wants:)

(See the scene above? - that was a McDonald’s before he showed up)

He found love as well. Women are loving that he chose someone closer to his age. Honestly, Idk why it matters. I'd still love this man, even if he were dating 22 year old, racist ass Camila Cabello.

But, he's viewed by some as the perfect man. I disagree. I don’t think that he’s merely the perfect man, but the perfect human.

His career and popularity paths are unique. No one would call him a... GOOD actor, but look at him! And he seems like a genuinely, awesomely, good person. And whatever "good person" means to you, he's at the top! We should all (men and women) be a lil more like Keanu in 2020.

Let's all be as lovable as we can, so we may all get away with as much as we can:)

With each new year, I challenge myself with a slogan to live by. In 2020, it's going to be this -

From Eddie Murphy’s “Raw”- Richard Pryor’s advice to Eddie, concerning Bill Cosby

Telling certain people in my way "To have a Coke and a smile, and shut the bleep up." Sometimes, I might need to be the one to do this, rather than say it - we'll see.

Here was the runner-up slogan (his response)

Magical.

Happy New Year, Everyone! Enjoy yourselves. Be less of an asshole. And be safe... enough to at least make it TO 2020.

Much love!

0 notes

taste-in-music · 6 years ago

Text

My Top 10 Favorite Hit Songs of 2018

I’m going to say it. This year’s popular music SUCKED. As I attempted to keep in touch with the US Billboard charts, the music I saw getting big every week only assisted in my losing faith in humanity. Pop music just wasn’t popular this year. And that’s not to say that pop music is dead or that there isn’t any good pop music being made, (just look at my entire page,) but it certainly wasn’t getting as much success in the mainstream as usual. I get it. Music trends come and go, and what’s big in at one point in time might not be in another Just think about how much R&B there was in the 2000s, and how club/EDM anthems were giant in the early 2010s. This year was dominated by hip hop, which I have nothing against in theory, but at least have it be GOOD hip hop music. I know there’s amazing hip hop out there, but that’s not what I saw getting popular. The bad stuff this year was really bad, at best bland and forgettable and at worst unlistenable garbage music made by garbage people. But rather than focus on the bad, I think that it’ll be better for my sanity to focus on the good, just to assure myself that even when the charts are dominated by shit there might a diamond hidden somewhere. This is the chart I will be using. So, without further ado, here are my best hit songs of 2018.

10) One Kiss by Calvin Harris ft. Dua Lipa This isn’t my favorite Dua Lipa song by far, (or Calvin Harris song,) but this is still a ton of fun. The production is simple, but tropical and uptempo, with a glossy, shuffling background beat and synthy horn riffs, and Dua Lipa’s performance helps elevate it all. This song radiates summer, it’s like having a tall glass of orange juice on the beach. My only problem with the song is the drop, with the pitch-lowered vocals and continuation of the background track. It feels a bit lazy and is too short to really build up steam. Otherwise, this song is pretty good. It was certainly refreshing to hear on the radio every so often.

9) Eastside by Benny Blanco ft. Khalid & Halsey This song is so relaxing and smooth. The production is simple, with a mid-tempo beat and a couple fluttering notes her and there, but it suits the subject matter of the song, which is very nostalgic and bittersweet. As always, I love the sound of Khalid’s voice, (though his pronunciation on this song is kind of garbled, it’s hard to tell what he’s saying,) and Halsey’s performance is good too, never dipping into grating territory like it does sometimes.The two of them have great chemistry. Also, the music video for this song is both funny and heartbreaking. It low key made me cry? I never heard this on the radio where I live, and only listening to it recently when making this list, but it’s certainly one of the best hit songs of the year.

8) LOVE. by Kendrick Lamar ft. Zacari Kendrick Lamar made a… pop song? Kind of? Okay, I wouldn’t call it pop, it’s definitely still hip hop, but it’s got some R&B and pop elements to it. It’s his version of a pop song. While it may not Kendrick Lamar’s best song, it’s still Kendrick Lamar. Him not at his “not best” is a whole lot better than other artists at their peak. The production is bold but at the same time chill, with a smoky kind of atmosphere. I’ve never listened to Zaraci, but his voice is wonderful here, cutting through the background music and Kendrick Lamar’s rapping like a ray of sunlight. I’m going to be honest, I mostly love this song because the CHVRCHES version is so good (listen to that here.)

7) Love Lies by Khalid ft. Normani This is one of the only pop songs that got consistent radio play where I live, and while the overplay did wear this track out a bit, I still like it. I never changed the station when it came on. Khalid and Normani have great chemistry, (what is it about Khalid that makes him so good at duets? With Eastside, this, lovely with Billie Eilish…) I love their harmonies on the chorus. Normani is a very promising vocalist, I’m excited to see what she comes out with in the future. The production is solid, with that low (I think guitar? synths? IDK) riff, snap percussion, and vocal layering in the backgrounds.

6) IDGAF by Dua Lipa The. Tell. Off. Anthem. Of. The. Year. This is a guilty pleasure of mine, I can’t say that this song is particularly good, but I’m literally in love Dua Lipa, so I don’t care. She’s sassy as hell on this song. The production is so catchy, especially with that plucky guitar melody and those pianos that come in as the song progresses. I love the bridge, where it goes back to just her and guitar, and it slowly builds back up to the final chorus. My only problem with hearing this on the radio is that it always had to be the censored version! I mean, I get why, but listening to the censored version of this song is like eating an unsalted Saltine cracker. It’s completely against the point.

5) Delicate by Taylor Swift I haven’t heard the entirety of Reputation. I don’t think I’ll ever go out of my way to listen to it. Look What You Made Me Do and ...Ready For It? were pretty awful, but Delicate? Delicate I really love. I didn’t like LWYMMD or ...RFI? because they were grating, lacked subtlety in their lyrics, and the production was all over the place. But this song takes the lyrical themes in those songs and presents them in a more vulnerable light, which works a lot better. And the production is very nice too. Everything flows together so smoothly. I like how the chorus is just her voice with the snaps in the background, and then melodies rush back in for the “drop.” This song washes over you and it’s perfect for a late night drive.

4) Boo’d Up by Ella Mai Praise the heavens for this song’s success. I remember when I first head it, it was so pants-shittingly good that it blew my mind. Ella Mai’s vocals are gorgeous, going through the melodies with such ease and grace and using vibrato in just the right places. The production on this song is lush as hell. I love the blocky percussion, light cymbals, and twinkling pianos. My only problem with this song is the extended spoken word outro, which gets a bit tiring. Otherwise, this is an amazing song.

3) when the party’s over by Billie Eilish I’m cheating here. This song didn’t make it onto the year end list, but I just had to include it. This song is heart-wrenching in all the right ways. Billie Eilish’s vocals are quiet and reserved, dipping into her higher register, they’re just so vulnerable and sad. She emits so much emotion on this song. The production on this song is simple, with just a piano, some distortion, background vocals, and not much else, but that’s what makes it work so perfectly. Anything else, and this song would become too cluttered. I’m so happy that this has hit the charts and is picking up steam, because god knows we need more promising, unique, and talented voices like Billie Eilish’s in the mainstream.

2) Finesse (Remix) by Bruno Mars ft. Cardi B Sometimes, you just need a song that’s downright fun. That’s how to describe this song. FUN! It’s so energetic and fucking catchy, everything about it clicks into just the right place. I don’t like Cardi B, but she’s pretty great here. Bruno Mars is great here. The production is slick as hell, with the bells and the drums and the sound effects. That little doh-pah sound in the chorus? Amazing, low key my favorite part of this song. You can’t not dance to this song. It’s perfect for a party playlist, or even when you just want to feel happy. This was such a relief to hear on the radio in between all the forgettable mush, like a rainbow pouring through the clouds.

Should Have Been Hits

Strangers by Sigrid This song had a ton of chart success in Europe, but didn’t cross over to the U.S. I guess we weren’t interested in listening to a bubbly, sunny BOP AND A HALF.

Paradise by George Ezra George Ezra, you know, the “Budapest” guy? That song was pretty good, wasn’t it? Another hit in the UK, this song features an electric, rushing beat, sick guitars, and George Ezra’s wonderful deep voice. I only have one issue with this song, and that’s that the line “running though your bloody veins” makes my skin crawl. Otherwise, this song is a total jam.

Answerphone by Banx & Ranx & Ella Eyre featuring Yxng Bane Slaps to the gods. Holy lord. This is the summer smash we deserved. Listen to it NOW.

Sun In Our Eyes by MØ ft. Diplo C’mon, we can give MØ another hit, can’t we? One where she isn’t sidelined into a feature slot? No? Our loss, then. This song isn’t my favorite off Forever Neverland, but had the most potential to become a hit, (I even heard it in a Starbucks one time,) and it deserved to.

Honorable Mentions/Guilty Pleasures

Wait by Maroon 5 I’m willing to admit that this song isn’t that good. Adam Levine’s falsetto is grating, the beat staggers all over the place like it’s drunk, and the production turns everything into soup. But something about this song keeps me from hating it like I know I should. Maybe it’s the fact that I find it kind of relaxing, maybe it’s because Alexandra Daddario is in the music video and she’s really pretty... I don’t know.

Friends by Marshmello ft. Anne-Marie Okay, this song straight up SUCKS and I kind of like it a lot? The production is a mish mash of random noises that sound like a robot having a seizure, Anne-Marie’s voice get annoying, and the lyrics are reprehensible. Still low key love it though. It’s like drinking Mountain Dew: you know it tastes cruddy and is bad for you, but there’s a spark to it that keeps you coming back.

Nice for What by Drake In a year where Drake absolutely DOMINATED the charts, this is the song by him that I liked the most. It’s got a groove to it with that Ms. Lauryn Hill sample and some decent lyrics.

Lucid Dreams by Juice WRLD It’s just fucking catchy, man I don’t know what else to say. (It’s not even his melody, really. It’s a Sting sample.) This song is the epitome of whiny sad boi emo rap, and the positively dreadful lyrics reflect that. I’m not going to say this song is even remotely good, (it’s probably one of the worst songs of the yeah, tbh,) and I’m not going to defend it. I’m ashamed enough as it is.

Youngblood by 5 Seconds Of Summer Who would’ve thought that the band that came up with “you look so perfect standing there in my American Apparel underwear,” one of the dumbest lyrics ever put to music, could come up with something good? This song has a propulsive feel, like you could go on a run to it. I like the “ooooh” that come in during the chorus too. Count this in as my number 11 pick.

All the shitty schlock music that got big this year was starting to weigh me down. I was in a state of mind, if you will. But then, something happened. I heard a song, a pop song, a good pop song. A great pop song. A song with an angelic opening, a surprising yet amazing switch-up, and uplifting lyrics. And then, in that moment, I knew that something wonderful had happened, that a god has returned from the heavens, and that I, now, had no tears left to cry.

1) no tears left to cry by Ariana Grande This song is awesome, okay? The production is catchy, the lyrics and fun, the chorus soars like a goddamn eagle, and the vocals? Do I even have to tell you? It’s Ariana Grande. This powerhouse performance puts all those mushy mouthed vocal deliveries that ruled the charts this year to shame. And in the midst of all the slower tempoed songs, I remember hearing this song and thinking: “by god, you can dance to this.” All of these elements come together and form something special, something damn near perfect. no tears left to cry by Ariana Grande. My favorite hit song of 2018.

Do you agree with this list? What were your favorite hit songs of 2018? Leave a comment and let me know!

104 notes · View notes

ebthecelebrity · 6 years ago

Text

When We Changed the “er” to “a”, Did It Really Matter?

The windows were down, the music blasting and we were just vibing! The bond between a son and mom is just unexplainable. We shared the same taste in music and undoubtedly he was fly. I mean, he’s MY son. This was the norm. Music was our life. If I was not playing “The Groove” or “The Joint” on Sirius Radio, I was blasting Trap Music. I had been listening to Trap Music with my son since he was in my womb. Something about trap music ignited this aggressive proudness in a black person’s soul. Being BLACK in AMERIKKA was dangerous as fuck, but it was a privilege. Yes, a privilege. We held hundreds of years in struggle within our bloodline with skin of beautiful, melanated gold. Our African countries embodied deep, majestic culture with gorgeous diamonds and exotic landscape. Our fashion, our music, our infamous shea butters and braided crowns…..our full lips, our bushy afros and soulful cuisine……our ebony eyes, our thick, shapely bodies…..being Black had always been a privilege as I learned we were the original Kings and Queens.

We’re in the car, speeding down highway 485 and the trap drums hit our soul. I immediately turned the volume up and snapped my fingers. The feeling is unexplainable. My son is in the backseat turnt all the way up. I imagined how Corporate America blasted trap music before heading to work in the am, spiritual beings blasted trap music while saging their homes, and lovers blasted trap music after smoking a blunt together and fucking like animals. Trap music was essential to Black Culture. It was essential to American Culture honestly. My 7-year-old son starts reciting the lyrics in the back seat. I’m impressed with his performance skills. He was so damn smart that he knew when to NOT curse. He would strategically pause at any curse word and continue rapping flawlessly. I watched him from the rearview mirror and nodded my head in agreement.

“Met all these niggas, they sweeter than Sadie”

My mouth dropped. He said niggas. The fact that he knew all the socially offensive profanity to avoid but NOT “niggas” was a little confusing. Or was it confusing? I instantly scolded him to not use the word in fear that he would use it at the wrong time and place. Like school. I didn’t have the time nor energy to explain to his teachers that “nigga” is a word majority of the black community used in our vocabulary around friends and family. I didn’t want to explain how he could have easily picked this up in our music or in our movies. Hell, it could have easily been me too.

How is this word historically offensive to society but not to Black America? Simple. We turned a negative, degrading word used to dehumanize us since the very beginning of our existence in America to a positive, uplifting one to acknowledge each other in our own unique way, like Ebonics. Is it positive? Is it uplifting? Hmmm if you are black, you can be the judge but I thought heavily about this on the rest of the ride home. We definitely changed the game and dropped the “er” and added that “a” to compensate, but does the hurt and pain truly go away by using this word that every white person who is a lover of trap music says secretly anyway?

I am quick to say “nigga” in a lot of scenarios. When a good friend that I haven’t spoke to in a while calls, I sometimes answer the phone with a smile on my face “What’s up nigga?” When that black coworker who I’ve bonded with brings me breakfast or some free food from a meeting provided that day, I may say, “My nigga, thank you!” When I talk about how in love I am with my man to my best friend, I call him “My nigga.” When I’m joking with my Uncle and I mention family members, I call them “niggas.” When I’m at an amazing party and the vibe is right, I just may say I had a good time with “them niggas.” This word gets used almost daily. This same word that is supposed to enrich the black race as we’ve changed the last two letters, I also use when I’m angry. Niggas can be used in a negative connotation at any given moment. I can call someone a “bitch nigga”, “dumb nigga”, “stupid nigga”…. the list goes on and the jargon is heavy in trap music.

So I started thinking about how to possibly even turn the word around completely for the new generation of our children. I thought about my son who was extremely intelligent, opposite of the definition of “nigger”. Did I really want him to be labeled as a “nigga” for the rest of his life from other niggas? Not really. I remember hearing about the word “Negus.” Actually at 35 years of life, I was first introduced to the word negus last year. Upon doing my research, NEGUS is a noun derived from the Ethiopian Semitic root, meaning, “to reign.” This in my opinion was so important to educate myself on, as I wanted to start changing my vocabulary for myself and for my seed. I am a true believer in the power of the tongue and aimed to speak positivity in all aspects of life. The word was shockingly close to the sound of the word Nigger/Nigga, yet had a more influential and positive meaning than the other two. Pronounced “Neh-Goose”The word had been used Biblically and in other literature to represent “King” or “Emperor.” Our First Christian King of the World was in 320 AD and his name was King Negus Ezana. Nigist = Queen.

WHY haven’t we used this amongst each other was mind-boggling! I continued to do more research on this Powerful and Historic word, to realize that many rappers felt the same way I did. Kendrick Lamar and Public Enemy’s Chuck D have been urging other rappers to start the movement. If you listen to Kendrick Lamar’s “i” off his album, “To Pimp a Butterfly” you will see that he has been woke and trying to educate us.

“Well, this is my explanation straight from Ethiopia/N-E-G-U-S definition: royalty; King royalty – wait listen/N-E-G-U-S description: Black emperor, King, ruler, now let me finish/The history books overlook the word and hide it/America tried to make it to a house divided/The homies don’t recognize we been using it wrong/So I’ma break it down and put my game in a song/N-E-G-U-S, say it with me/Or say no more/Black stars can come and get me.” ~ Kendrick Lamar

Knowledge is Power. Please educate yourself Neguses and Nigists. We are worth so much more. Let’s change the narrative.

#Negus #nigist #king #queen #Emperor #Empress #Nigga #Ruler #TrapMusic #History #Ethiopean

5 notes · View notes

thempoetry · 6 years ago

Text

“There Are More Beautiful Things Than Beyoncé” by Morgan Parker

This book had been years coming in my collection. Its name rang out inside me when I felt its titular sentiment — that the popular worship of Beyoncé is overblown — and whenever I thought of it, I felt a spark of solidarity.

Of course, this is not a book about Beyoncé — and in fact, this is not even a book that is very critical of Beyoncé. Instead, Beyoncé acts as a literary device throughout — a mouthpiece, an amulet, a proto-idea that shapeshifts to meet Parker’s endless need to talk, sing and moan about race, class, democracy, depression, music and drugs. It’s a brilliant move.

I’d like to start more broadly by commenting on Morgan Parker, because she strikes me as an outsider among insiders. In my head, Parker is of the generation of contemporary poets that includes Danez Smith, Franny Choi, Ocean Vuong etc. … she’s decorated with a Pushcart, she co-curates a reading series, she performs with Angel Nafis as part of The Other Black Girl Collective. Her poetic career is bedazzlingly active — so why don’t we talk about her more?

By which I mean: there seems to be a kind of halo around young poets like Ocean Vuong, who — and I say this with admittedly limited experience of his work — turn the harrowing vine-tangle of identity into a kind of rhapsodic experience: a thing worth looking at because it is beautiful. (Here is an example, from Vuong’s “Tell Me Something Good”:

Snow on your lips like a salted

cut, you leap between your deaths, black as a god’s periods. Your arms cleaving little wounds

in the wind. You are something made… )

There’s no arguing that Vuong’s poem is beautiful; my issue is with how the beauty is used. Vuong’s poem here seems an extension of the (frankly depressing and oppressive) idea that “foreigners” can make their stories worthy through pathos, pity and craft — i.e., hard work and relatability. If the sentiment sounds familiar, just tune into the way mainstream conservatives these days talk about immigrants: I don’t have a problem with immigrants writ large, I just prefer immigrants who work hard, keep their heads down, are pleasant to my children, are generally agreeable…

Anyway, it’s not fair for me to pass such a blanket judgement over Ocean Vuong’s work, and that’s for another review. But insofar as Morgan Parker is concerned, she parses the work and space of otherness in an entirely different manner. Similar to Claudia Rankine of Don’t Let Me Be Lonely, her argument is this: I won’t “fix” myself for you. I won’t try to make myself beautiful. I will tell the (magical, insatiable) truth as it is, and you will have to try to keep up. Because I am too tired to bow down, to construct something for you, to micro-manage. Parker’s poems are for haters of micro-management; they offer big gestures in small bottles.

Consider the opening lines of the opening poem, “All They Want Is My Money My Pussy My Blood”:

I am free with the following conditions.

Give it up gimme gimme.

Okay so I’m Black in America right and I walk into a bar.

With this bold opening, Parker’s commitments are clear: she will demand things of the reader (“give it up gimme gimme”) and she will clearly demarcate what commands her attention and respect (“I’m Black in America right”). And with this begins what I can only describe as a chimeric collection, more warm-blooded fantasy animal than diorama; more occult message written in glitter than typeset monolith. She scrounges from jazz, RnB and pop to fill her pauses. She is unrelentingly new instead of subtle. I like it:

I am a dreamer with empty hands and I like the chill. I will not be attending the party tonight, because I am microwaving multiple Lean Cuisines and watching Wife Swap… (“Another Another Autumn in New York”)

—and the sincerity of her materials shine through. (To continue this silly dogfight I’ve set up, compare the above with Vuong: “Air of whiskey and crushed / Oreos.” Parker’s allusion to pop culture delights; Vuong’s seems like an add-on, a sprinkling of something inappropriate on top).

But wherefore is the source of all this magic? I would say in what Sun Ra called “liquidity.” For example: Parker was best when R and I read her aloud on a grassy slope on Belle Isle in Detroit. There we were, in a historically Black city, in what I can only describe as a “public paradise.” Ducks waddled by and folks of all stripes strolled in front of us beside a small man-made lake. As we read Parker aloud, we laughed with her and from within her work — as though her words gave us the ability to access our inner performers, delivering punchlines (“I don’t know / when I got so punk rock”) and casting personal spells (“I breathe / dried honeysuckle / and hope”). We felt for her. And we wanted to continue feeling for her. All things told I had a moment of genuine orality with her work — a glimpse of what poetry must have felt like when it was shared, sung and social by default. This is a book that radiates the energy of the collective, that asks you to recognize it — and does not over-demonstrate.

So, in this false dichotomy, one might pose:

LIQUIDITY: ORALITY, SOCIALITY, LONG STANZAS SHORT LINES

against

SOLIDITY: WRITTEN, INWARDNESS, SMALL FORMAL STANZAS LONG LINES

In the former, you have the world of most popular songs, particularly jazz; in the latter, you have sculpture and “high art.” Perhaps this is why Ocean Vuong’s work has garnered him endless praise and attention, and most of us look askance at Morgan Parker’s messiness, silliness and genuine emotional bravery. She rambles, yes, but her rambling challenges the very idea of boundaries — of “discipline” as a set of limits, of borders we set for ourselves, however beautiful.

Finally, I will say this, as it’s becoming a theme in my reviews. Parker’s poetry feels affectively liberated. She is funny as well as ashamed. Take, for instance, this amazing section of “RoboBeyoncé”:

The reason I was built is to outlast some terribly feminine sickness that is delivered to the blood through kale salad and pity and men with straight-haired girlfriends […] Nothing aches in here It’s a quiet, calculated shame

Part of the power in these lines is the fact that despite the sprawling, messy energy of Parker’s poems, formally they are incredibly demanding due to their short lines. Parker does not give herself the liberty of overusing the form that has, frankly, become a meme among young poets — the poem composed of long couplets, like Vuong’s poem above — and instead prefers her poems one long connective muscle. The result is propulsive and exciting, like watching a figure skater do tight turns on the ice. She is insightful but also — I dare say it — entertaining. But in the wry, dark way that comedians have that communicates, “Look, I don’t care if you don’t like me. Most of the time, I don’t like me either.”

Which is not to say that Parker’s work is perfect — like the aforementioned figure skater, she does often fall short of her ambitions and can write poems that don’t hold together — often using the couplet form above. I think her work is best when it acknowledges its liquid merits, and doesn’t try to stand with too much air around it.

Overall: 9/10 for sheer spillage of fantasy radioactive plasma

Read If You: -Think it’s lame that Beyoncé talks so much about her “rock” -Miss the energy of cities like Detroit -Have friends you want to read with and you are all getting tired of the bone-dry landscape of contemporary poetry which is really just about “passing” politics and making pain beautiful and omg what if pain is NOT beautiful what if it is just pain motherfuckers what if leaving the party is political too goddamn