#don’t have this problem while reading one piece fic because the fandom is like 25 years old there is Plenty of fic to read

[clearancecreedwatersurvival]

‘If I write fanfic for dungeon meshi’ who the fuck am I kidding of course I’m gonna write fanfic for dungeon meshi, there’s less than a thousand fics on ao3 for the whole fandom tag, I’m gonna run out of fic to read so damn quick, and the only choice when the fics you would like to read don’t exist yet is to write them yourself.

[ellanainthetardis]

1, 4, 9, and 25 for the salty asks pls 💖 (for 25 if you could answer for hunger games and/or the 1OO that would be fun, along with any other fandom you want pls)

1 and 4 I just answered in a previous ask ;)

9 Most disliked character(s)? Why?

I hate Coin. XD I think MJ is self-explanatory about why but yeah that's the one character in thg I reaaaaally do not see a redemption side for. I'm sure she has one and hasn't shared with me yet but yeah... She's just so... black and white... She's just the bad guy masquerading as a good guy. It's obvious from the start and I have nothing against bad guys, I think Snow is an interesting (if horrible) character. Coin, I just... Nope.

Also I am not very fond of Gale but while I disliked him in the books I think my real dislike of him comes from the fandom's view of him (it played on my own opinions) and also because he gave me suuuuch a writer block for KTVS I might never forgive him for it XD

I used to not like Plutarch either. I still don't like him as a character but I found him really interesting so I wouldn't say he's my most disliked. I just think he's the ultimate slytherin and a real piece of work who has no morals XD I kind of enjoy writing him though.

In HP, one of the characters I can easily dislike is Dumbledore. It took me a long time to get there but with age and with every re-read it seems so obvious the whole thing is a huge set up for harry and... Yeah. It doesn't change anything that he loves harry, in teh end he's still raising him up for slaughter and I'm not a Gryffindor so I can't appreciate he does it for the right reason or the "greater good". I mean, at one point, I was known to enjoy some Dumbledore bashing fics XD

25 How would you end XXX/Would you change the ending of XXX?

For thg: I think the ending is solid. I wish she had remembered about Effie and obviously if it were me, the epilogue would have included hayffie but... XD I think the only change I would have liked was the mention of children. Or at least the way the children are mentioned. I would have either just made clear Kat and Peeta get together and leave to the reader's imagination if they had kids or not or maybe change the wording so it doesn't sound so... forced. Because ultimately, I don't think Peeta would force her into having them but the wording does make it look that way a little hence the whole decade old debate and yeah... But other than that I think the ending is coherent with the rest of the books you know...

It's not the perfect ending, none of the main characters have an immediate happy ever after but eventually they get to find peace and happiness and that's a good reflection of life. It's full of hope.

For HP: *singsong* I would have gotten rid of that epiiiilogue.

I hate the epilogue. I hate that everyone ends up with their childhood sweetheart as their forever partner. It's unrealistic.

Also, I'm not saying I'm an angst person, but i'm an angst person. And I think maybe if we wanted a more "adult" slash "realistic" ending one of the golden trio should have died. There are pleeeenty of heartbreaking death in HP but I can't help but feel like some of them were there as window-dressing. Idk. I hated how they did the final showdown in the movies too, it has to be said. and a part of me wished they had kept the scene with Draco handing Harry his wand but that's the shipper in me haha

I also hate one thing a lot in the HP ending. When Dumbledore alters his quote saying help will always be given at Hogwarts to those who ask for it to those who deserve it... This felt... Meh. Because I think it's doing a 180 to the original quote. Also there was a lot of slytherin bashing that goes against the general message of cooperation and unity but... Ok. XD

I mean... HP had its problems XD I would go so far as to say that while it's iconic, it's the fandom that made it that way. There are plenty of fictions that are better than hp out there. That's the thing JK never got. The fandom made HP what it is from what she gave us. She's not the ultimate queen anymore. I know lots of fics that are better than canon.

And now for the 100. Oh boy where should I start. Do I like the ending... I never saw the last of S6 and I never saw the last season although I am thouroughly spoiled. Let that be clear. My last episode has been the Marcus Kane demise. XD

How i would have end it...

Well, you know what? If I had to be realistic, I would say at the end of S5. S4 was meh even though it gave us Abby/Kane but S5 had a good ending with the Harper and Monty' s very emotional send off... That was a good end. Send the heroes toward a possible future... Leave it here.

Alternatively, what I was hoping for/would have loved to see is for a complete whipe out of S5. Get back to the end of S4, forget the bunker, send everyone back into space (with a viable solution maybe like the end of S5) and have Abby/Kane stay behind to launch the ship and die together. Reverse of S1 of a sort. *

What I would not have done is have Abby become what she's become, let Raven get soooo judgmental it wasn't even funny, force Abby to watch Marcus die the same way Jake did, have Clarke kill Bellamy, or, for that matter, destroy octavia's whole character development...

Last but not least: stargate. What was even Unending? XD That show deserved a better ending and I cannot lie. So yeah... Anything else but THAT episode. A good thing we got the movies...

[facultyloungecosplay]

Hey I’m the anon from yesterday and *sigh* I think I figured something else and I feel really bad about it. So I have good ideas when I’m not sad but they just don’t turn to reality as easily, that’s to say I can’t put them into words where when I’m usually sad or at least melancholic my hands just work on their own that’s my problem with consistency... well with inconsistency. My new problem is kinda disgusting... I like being praised? Let me explain quite a few months ago powered by some horrible things that didn’t even affect me directly (I don’t want to get into it, it’s still sore let’s just say parasocial relationships were disgustingly abused) and I not even really wanting too make something I made some of the best poems in my life... I shared on anon with another blog and they loved it they thought it was beautiful and I remembered the other times I sent random blogs anonymous poems when I was drunk or something and how they liked it so I made a tumblr for my poem and I made a few poems I liked and I made a few I didn’t (I even posted some of the ones I didn’t like) but it was all silent and that’s what made me loose interest I wasn’t liking them and others weren’t but at the same time I’m paralyzed at the thought of sharing my poems I could be off anon but I’m terrified you’ll think I’m manipulating you emotionally or trying too. I want to share myself but I’m afraid of something, something I don’t even know what... I’m the type of person I hate the most someone that doesn’t fight

Good morning and welcome back. 🤍

I’m going to level with you right away: we all want praise for our work.

I don’t mean that in a general sense either. I mean that as creative people, most of us thrive on praise and attention for our ideas, words, art. And it’s addictive! We thrive on it, we wither without it, and that causes us to slump in creating more. I can’t think of a single artist who hasn’t experienced it.

At some point, you need to ask yourself what your expectations are and why you’re writing your poetry. The issue with praise is that eventually it’s no longer enough; we need more! How come I got 100 notes on that last piece and only 25 on this one? Why aren’t people reblogging this instead of just liking it?

The problem, my dear, is that Tumblr really is an awful platform for artists these days. I’ve been here for...well, a very long time, and the dynamic somewhere in the last few years has changed. People really don’t reblog the way they used to. I get less asks, I see less interaction. And for a while, that bummed me out! I withdrew, refocused on other things, and now I’m getting to the point where I post with zero expectation. Here’s a stone bird I bought. Here’s my garden because I worked hard and it looks pretty today! Here’s what I’m reading!

I’m still working on cosplay and writing fanfic, of course. I was extremely fortunate to get quite a lot (for me) of attention when I started doing both on this platform. Now? I’m lucky to get 50 notes on cosplay (47 likes, 3 reblogs, one rb mine) and a few comments on fic. Is that disheartening? It can be. It really can! The difference between who I was when I started and who I am now, however, is in my motivation. I’m not trying to impress people. I’m sharing what has brought me joy to create.

I’m not saying I don’t miss the praise. It’s something that all artists love to hear. But the thing is - public opinion is fickle. People move onto to new artists or new fandoms or leave platforms. We can’t rely on or guilt trip people into engaging with us no matter how badly we want it (and for the record, anon, I don’t think that’s what you’re doing either). We have to learn how to create for ourselves and to find the joy in that first. Praise, if we get it, is a happy bonus.

I can’t tell you how to find the joy in creating for yourself. It took me a long time after my taste of online attention, but I know I had it before that, when I spent nights frantically writing stories no one else read (and still haven’t read). I wrote because I had stories in me that I needed to tell. I still do. And that is a tremendous kind of power, one that doesn’t exist because others told me it makes me worthy.

It’s up to you if you want to keep posting your poems online. Original work is notoriously difficult to promote on Tumblr in particular, but not impossible. You have to decide if that’s the route you want to go. Either way, I would implore you not to stop writing, no matter your choice. It sounds like you have stories to tell.

[mandaloriandy]

Fic Writer Interview

I suppose I should... actually get around to doing this.

I was tagged by @maderilien, @stormwarnings, and @willowcrowned! (that’s what I get for putting off doing this, I get ganged up on.) (I’m just joking, I am very touched that you all thought of me)

How many works do you have on AO3?

49

What's your total AO3 word count?

339,898

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

oh fuck there's so many. uhhhh 32 apparently. big yikes. I'm just gonna copy-paste the list over, that'll be easiest. A lot of these are overlaps but alas such is life

1. Star Wars - All Media Types (24) 2. Star Wars Prequel Trilogy (18) 3. Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types (7) 4. TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works & Related Fandoms (4) 5. Homestuck (4) 6. Doctor Who & Related Fandoms (3) 7. Avatar: Legend of Korra (3) 8. Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling (3) 9. Marvel Cinematic Universe (2) 10. Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV) (2) 11. The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types (2) 12. Doctor Who (2) 13. Ender Series - Orson Scott Card (1) 14. Solo: A Star Wars Story (2018) (1) 15. Iron Man (Movies) (1) 16. Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon (1) 17. Original Work (1) 18. Sherlock (TV) (1) 19. Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016) (1) 20. Big Hero 6 (2014) (1) 21. Emelan - Tamora Pierce (1) 22. The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien (1) 23. Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga (1) 24. The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien (1) 25. Captain America (Movies) (1) 26. Paranatural (Webcomic) (1) 27. Torchwood (1) 28. Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica (1) 29. Star Wars: Clone Wars (2003) - All Media Types (1) 30. Star Wars: Rebels (1) 31. Doctor Who (2005) (1) 32. The Hobbit - All Media Types (1)

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

To nobody's surprise, my top 5 fics by kudos are (in order) the first 5 parts to the Jedi Shmi AU.

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Oof. I used to. But I ended up spiralling pretty badly uhhhh a couple years ago and had to stop. I feel like I should reply to comments, especially those wonderful long ones, but even though I do this whole writing thing, I always have a really hard time, like, knowing what to say to them? Like "akjsdfk;jf thank you" always feels inadequate, but writing a well thought-out reply takes a stupidly large amount of brainpower, and I'll leave them marked as unread if I want to reply to them and then they just accumulate in my inbox and I end up spiralling again, since it just continues to exist as a mental load of something I have to do and the avoidance just gets bigger and bigger the longer I put it off and–

look, I just get into my own head too much about it. I respond to questions, usually. I love all the comments but I can't let myself overthink it, and the easiest way to do that is to not let myself reply.

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

I guess Obi-Wan’s Terrible Horrible No-Good Very Bad Life doesn’t count because it... doesn’t have an ending yet? and I don’t know how angsty that ending is going to be. Even Composing Hallelujah doesn’t count because it ends happier than in canon, even though it’s... y’know, not exactly happy-ending.

Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you've written?

Hahaha I don't do crossovers often, but I have done them, and the craziest one I've actually written is probably my Sailor Moon/Puella Magi Madoka Magica fic. It’s especially crazy because I’ve only seen a few episodes of sailor moon lol

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

lmao YEP

There's this one, like Ender's Game/Doctor Who fic I wrote and posted on FFN back in middle school. And it got a ton of hate, as far as I can tell mostly from the same person, talking about like, how bad and non-canonical and whatever it was. And when I migrated over to AO3, I reposted it there too. This was in like 2012. The migration, at least, the fic was written in... idk, 2010?

And then. In 20-fucking-19.

I got a comment saying "Terrible. Makes zero sense. It’s like the author threw canon out the window and took a shit on it." like lmao what??????

(for reference: https://archiveofourown.org/works/361723?show_comments=true#comments and https://www.fanfiction.net/r/7621672/)

(like what the actual fuck was this person on)

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Not any that I've been brave enough to post. And… also… nothing that I've actually written more than a few paragraphs on… I keep chickening out. I did recently make a deal with a friend, though, so… we'll see. If I do, it’s probably going to be quite dark, because that’s the kind of smut I like to read.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I sincerely hope not.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes!! See how the blackbird walks into russian and just recently In all your wanderings into french!!!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I've tried. It's never gone… especially well? I don't think any of them ever actually ended up complete, they all just petered out after a while.

What's your all time favorite ship?

I don't really have an "all-time favorite" anything, let alone a ship. I'm a horrible multishipper and I'm going to cause problems on purpose

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

Sigh. Probably my intricate, 30-something-k unpublished Silmarillion Helcaraxë fic. It has so many moving pieces. I know where most of them end up but it's going to take so much effort to get there

What are your writing strengths?

writing

What are your writing weaknesses?

writing

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Hm. Given that I mostly write fic for SF/F, I don't run into the "real life languages" problem a lot. I end up working with conlangs of various complexity, for the most part, and for those… I'll sprinkle in a word or two if it makes sense, especially swear words and stuff. But for most of those conlangs, grammar is… less well-determined than vocabulary, so I almost never do phrases, let alone full sentences. I'll just put it in italics (if the POV character understands it) or say "and they said something unintelligible in [x language]" or the like.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

I think………. let me check the dates on this. I think the actual first fanfiction I wrote was sometime in fifth or sixth grade, for this "Zenda" book series I read?? Either that or Harry Potter.

What's your favorite fic you've written?

A big shout-out goes to The Lichtenberg Figure, which I can’t believe is the only Tamora Pierce fanwork I’ve published, but for my favorite... it's gotta be Messenger. Like, looking back, there is a bunch about it that I am very not happy with, and a lot of things I think didn't come across the way I wanted, and things I would not write the same way now, years down the line, as I have very differently balanced understandings of… well, a lot of these same characters. But, fuck, I just can't let go of Mandalorian!Beru.

No pressure tags!! @apaladinagain @determamfidd @faeymouse @lumateranlibrarian (apologies if you’ve already done this one and I haven’t seen it!)

[mannatea]

Hi. I used to follow your old blog on a different account. Hope you're doing well. Do you have any tips on thinking up stories that are *not* dark and depressing due to subject material? The last story I was working on I had to quit because the backstory I was developing for my passive male character was super depressing. At times I enjoyed researching it, though what won out was the thought I was wasting my time looking into angsty things for something I wasn't even planning to publish. Now I want to write something a little happier. But I have the most experience in writing angst and cringe comedy 😅 thanks for any help you can give. Stay safe out there!

By the way, good on you for dropping that manga you used to follow. I was happy most of the characters lived, but other than that, it felt "meh" to me (granted, I didn't read all the way from the beginning). The author was probably going for a "people will always be fighting each other" theme, but some of the imagery of what happened after a time skip could definitely be taken as pro-fascist. And I was disappointed the protagonist basically said he wanted to bring about destruction! I'm glad I didn't spend any money to read it.

Wow, hi! I’m doing all right, thanks for asking. I hope you’re doing all right, too. :)

As far as “that manga” goes, I’ve kept tabs on it. I’ve been on the fringes for the last two-ish years; I dedicated something like four real life years to that fandom and mostly had a good time while I was there (made some friends I hope to keep for life), so it was one of those situations where I just had to find out how it ended. I realized at some point that I was in a very negative space in the fandom, and felt it was better to publicly drop the series and the blog associated with all of my meta/discussion than to play in what had become a toxic pool for me. I didn’t really want to drop the account after my time there, but I couldn’t have dealt with the nonstop questions/messages/etc that would have piled in over the years, and eh, when you’re done you’re done. I criticize Hallmark television for fun, now, instead. It’s a lot less stressful! And literally nothing is That Deep so there’s very few delusions, at least on the Tumblr side of things. (Reddit, however, is insane, but I don’t post in the fandom there.)

As far as writing advice goes, I am going to apologize in advance for muddled thoughts. I just got out of work and have been staring at numbers all day, so it’s hard for me to think lmaoo.

In my opinion, any sort of character or personality type/flaw/whatever could have developed via a negative OR positive influence/catalyst, so that’s something to consider. I also think people tend to reach for “sad” or “traumatic” pasts either as a way to cope with their own issues/pasts/whatevers, or because it’s the “easy explanation” for why a character is the way they are.

If you WANT to write things a certain way, it’s sometimes a matter of changing the lens through which you’re viewing life, the story, the characters, or character writing in general. This is never easy, especially when you find a genre you feel comfortable in, but it’s always possible. When I was in college and submitted an autobiographical piece (Rot Tooth) for a creative writing final, I received multiple comments from classmates and even the professor that my talent/skill was in writing comedy. COMEDY!!!! I don’t think anyone who has read my writing from the last decade would say that I was a comedy writer. I stopped labeling ‘fics as humor/romance so long ago I can’t even remember when it was. But boom. I had written a comedy piece.

I don’t think I can ignore that most of the comedic elements in Rot Tooth were brought about because humor is one of the ways in which I cope with things, but it was also a very conscious choice I made. I wanted people to be able to engage with the story without being grossed out, without getting bored, without feeling that it was a poor-pathetic-me story, and humor was the classiest way to do it. Here, read this long story that includes journal entries from Ye Olde Livejournal days, but it will make you laugh often enough that the depressing aspects of the story don’t weigh it down too much! It was probably the only way to make the subject matter widely palatable. 

As often as I joke about characters or scenes or moments that “just write themselves” the author does have control. I mostly write fanfiction, so let’s go with examples from that.

I’m (very slowly) working on a ‘fic called Three Years which features a character who, when last seen, was headed off to serve a prison sentence. They haven’t been on the show for three years and thus I assume they have been serving that sentence for the last three years. The story starts when this character is released from prison. They are a woman. This is a historical piece of fiction. Prisons were vile to women and yet...this is fiction. I have a choice. I get to choose. Does she get to start her life off carrying 25 bags of trauma or just 2? It would be unreasonable to expect that someone, especially a woman, who was imprisoned for 3 years in the early 1900s wouldn’t have some issues (at the very least, the isolation would have been awful), but it doesn’t really have to be much worse than that. It doesn’t.

I have the power to choose.

A character has anger issues. Sure, he could have had a traumatic past with an abusive parent who took his anger out on him or his mom or whatever...or maybe it is an inherited personality trait and the parent figure with the problem was never really That Bad about it, but seeing it normalized makes it harder for the character in question to realize it’s a huge problem and part of their character arc is realizing they need to get help, not because they don’t want to be like their dad, and not because they hate their dad, but because they just want to be a better person/they don’t want to let that struggle consume them.

Someone’s sweetheart goes off to war. Guess what? They don’t have to die there to force a traumatic past. They don’t have to come back a raging alcoholic either. Maybe the time apart, and the time fighting a war just puts a natural sort of crack in the relationship by making it clearer to each character what they want in life/what matters to them in their life.

A character is super passionate about their work/hobby. Maybe they have ADHD and it’s a hyperfixation. Maybe they’re autistic and it’s a Special Interest. It doesn’t have to be “their parents ignored them and forced them to be alone all the time and they used this thing to cope so it means everything to them because it’s always been there.”

Maybe you have a character whose greatest fear is losing the people they love. It doesn’t have to be because a pet died in their arms when they were four and it traumatized them. It doesn’t have to be because they only have one person they love in the whole world. It can just be a thing because that’s a valid fear literally anyone can reasonably have, and maybe it’s a bigger deal because they don’t have siblings or aren’t close to many people! (And the “aren’t close to many people” thing doesn’t have to stem from trauma, either. Most busy adults for example who get to choose their friends, are just like that.)

A perfectionist might just have the personality type; it doesn’t mean their parents criticized everything they ever did. A person with three failed marriages might hesitate to fall in love and try again but it doesn’t have to be because those three failed marriages were abusive. A quiet character may just be shy or introverted by nature. 

I think everyone carries some kind of trauma with them, so it’s never unreasonable to have some in a person’s past (you can’t write an ugly character without having to think about the fact that they carry some trauma from what it’s like to grow up ugly), but it doesn’t have to define them. It doesn’t have to overshadow everything else in their past.

You can always ask yourself, “Why am I reaching for angst every time I create a backstory?” Literally everyone has some kind of angst. Most kids were hurt by things said to them in school, for example, or made fun of for some reason. Most people did something extremely embarrassing as a kid and never got over it. There are a thousand little moments in our adult lives that go back to these little points—you might call them the tiny traumas. But they’re not defining. They’re not so heavy they also live in the present. Not all of them.

Why do you reach for the darkest corner? Why not for the light? Or a middle ground?

I encourage people to write basically whatever floats their boat, but it sounds like you’re at a point where you just feel weighed down by that sort of stuff, and that’s not a great way to feel, especially when it discourages you from working on a project entirely.

My final suggestion: look at some of your favorite characters from various types of media. Are they all traumatized? What are their defining characteristics? Black Beauty has some depressing stuff in it, but is ultimately a story with a happy ending. Pride and Prejudice has drama, but nobody’s past is filled with the darkest stuff imaginable. North and South has awful things to consider in it (cotton mills were sooo awful) but the characters are not wildly traumatized people.

What kind of story are you trying to tell? Do the characters need to be traumatized to tell it? Does the story have to be dark to get across the message you want to send? 

Way back in the day, when I was into “that manga” I made an RP blog for a one-off character that nobody gave a damn about. Like, he was so one-off that even back in those days nobody even remembered him having existed. It was sort of a joke RP blog that wasn’t supposed to be serious. The only canon information we had about this character was that he enjoyed drinking. I decided to make him a lighthearted character because the series was pretty dark and I wanted to send people hilarious starters instead of wading through the muck of depression with everyone else’s sad, abused characters. I decided his family was old money and he had a brother. Nothing super traumatizing in his past. Some family issues but not the sort of thing that would haunt anyone. He was not traumatized in his recent past any more than other characters were. Mostly just “a regular guy.” I really loved RPing him. He was fun! The story could get heavy but he didn’t have to be.

Anyway, dive head-first into the dark angst if you want, but if it’s not necessary to tell the story you want to tell, just remember you don’t have to go there. You have the choice.

[altumvidetur]

Haikyuu!! Fic Recs (Miscellaneous)

Fic Recs Masterpost

Moving on with the fic recs I’m sharing, these are all fics for ships that aren’t necessarily my OTPs, but which I still like a lot. 

Of course, these cater to my own tastes, so you may find stuff you don’t like around here. I never include works in progress. The Mature and Explicit works will be in italic. I ask you to READ THE WORK’S TAGS before continuing, so you won’t find anything that makes you uncomfortable.

Here we go:

KuroKen:

pretty girls make me nervous, by ebenroot

(Yaku had to wonder if his captain was listening to himself talk and could realize on his own how much he sounded in love with Kenma.)

"So, what is going to happen is this! Friday night, Kenma will be going to the mall with no video games around. His natural attractiveness will show, some love struck girl will ask him out and bam! Kenma isn't single anymore."

(Yaku supposed not.)

or

that fic where Kuroo does everything he can to get Kenma a significant other. Meanwhile, everyone bets how long it'll take before Kuroo realizes that Kenma's sorta already dating him.

tea leaves and spice (girls), by Ellessey

Summary by me: in which Kenma is in denial, Kuroo is a huge dork, and together they figure some stuff out.

Heat Stroke, by risquetendencies

Heat makes a person feel lazy, but when you're already lazy, it's just another annoyance. In a bid to escape the heat, Kenma sees something he wasn't meant to, and decides to take care of things he's left undone.

omam verse, by shions_heart

Though some may believe they're monsters, those closest to them know they're just men learning how to love in this world of magic, demons, and faeries.

BokuAkaKuro:

Rewards Program, by surveycorpsjean

Akaashi enjoys his normal life, as a normal grocery checker, at a normal grocery store.

Of course, it all goes up in flames when two hot as hell college kids dump their items on the conveyor belt.

Donuts. Glue. Donut holes.

And that's only the beginning.

UshiShira:

UshiShira, by shirabu

The OTP. (Other fandoms listed are only because of crossovers.)

AsaNoya:

Hey Let’s Get It On, by jibrailis

Nishinoya and Asahi practice kissing together.

Wild Horses, by notallballs

"Oh, it's you," the woman said, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "Um, hello."

Nishinoya stared. "It's you!" she shouted, pointing an accusing finger.

The woman reared back for a moment, her eyes widening. "Uh—"

"Hot lifeguard!" Nishinoya yelled.

-

While at the beach with her friends, Nishinoya runs into the biggest, hottest lifeguard she's ever seen.

KyouHaba:

fuel to burn, by knightswatch

Kentarou is coal. Kentarou does not have a diamond inside of him.

be gentle with me (i don’t know what that means), by earlgrey_milktea

kyoutani wakes, injured and alone, inside a witch's den. he's fucked.

Presentability, by darkmagicalgirl

“Oh for— I mean we’ll be in public,” Yahaba said. “Representing our school. We could be on TV. Our old upperclassmen might come to watch.”

“Our team, not my face,” Kyoutani had pointed out, feeling very reasonable.

“Your face is a part of this team!” Yahaba looked about five seconds away from stamping his heels ineffectually, or, like, putting his fist through the wall. You could never tell with that guy.

just wanna be yours, by knightswatch

It's almost funny, how they've kissed but they've never really kissed. It's almost funny, except for how badly Kentarou wants to really kiss Yahaba.

meet me at the fucking pit (and let me hold your hand), by anyadisee

“Yoo-hoo~ Oh my, why the dark faces, everyone?” Oikawa asks as he walks into the room, Iwaizumi right by his heels.

Kunimi, who had been looking bored the entire time, picks up the piece of paper and loudly reads the two sentences written in thick black ink and an angry-looking scrawl across its surface. “Yahaba, meet me at the lot behind the old Humanities building, 6PM. Don’t bring anyone, and don’t be late. That’s what it says.”

The room falls silent once more.

Then, “Holy shit, Yahaba-chan, who did you cross this time?”

[in which yahaba receives a vaguely threatening letter, and kyoutani disappears from practice.]

like drawing blood, by knightswatch

Yahaba Shigeru doesn't struggle with admitting his problems, he struggles with fixing them.

Kyoutani Kentarou has always been a problem he doesn't know how to fix.

MatsuHanaIwaOi:

Four’s a Party, by plumtrees

standalone Seijou OT4 smutfics, with each member getting a shot at being in the middle.

Your Heartbeat; My Lullaby, by Acai

And if he ever were to fall, the arms were ready to catch him. And if the shock of the fall was too much for him to stand back up like it didn’t happen, those arms were still strong enough to hold him up until he stood on his own.

turkey feet and fish stink, by beatboxbmo

He smirks. "It looks like you dipped your toes in dog shit."

Tooru's lips thin out in a petulant pout before curling slightly at the sides. "You would know."

The memory slams to the forefront of Issei's mind, and he drops his head to hide his face. "Taka still owes me a pair of socks."

KinKage:

The Best Things, by Karasuno Volleygays

Things can start out small or change, and you don't see it coming. And sometimes, they're heavier than you think until you stop and feel the burden.

But the best things work themselves out on their own.

AoHina:

Camellia, by Vane

Aone makes some assumptions. Some of them even pan out.

UshiOi:

Starting Now, by notallballs

"Oh no," Tooru said, throwing his hands up. "No, no, absolutely not—"

"There is only one bed."

Tooru rounded on him. "I can see that, Ushiwaka-chan," he snapped.

-

Oikawa and Ushijima have played on the same team for over a year now, but they still haven't gotten the hang of getting along. All that changes when a blizzard forces them to share the same hotel room.

HanaOi:

however many worlds away, by commovente

Hanamaki and Oikawa: over the years, into the stars, through to whatever lies even after that:

-

“…Hey. Write to me sometimes, yeah?” Hanamaki’s ignored Tooru again, but he hasn’t shoved him off yet, either. “When I’m — when I’m out there.”

“Miss me already, Makki? Well, that’s only to be expected, after all…”

“Oikawa.”

EnnoFuta:

no time to be alone, by cenli

A relationship played out in memories.

KamaFuta:

Wrong as Rain, by darkmagicalgirl

Kamasaki doesn't understand why Futukuchi keeps showing up at his job.

[Disgusted voice]: Feelings, by volna

Futakuchi is 25. That is all you have to know.

GoshiHina:

Roses Are Red, by KuriKuri

Goshiki Tsutomu has never actually set foot in a flower shop before.

In fact, most of the time flower shops are something he actively avoids, because while he has many talents, one of them appears to be the ability to somehow kill every plant he’s ever owned.

Multiple Pairings:

SASO Bonus Round Fills — Haikyuu!!, by kiyala

A collection of Haikyuu!! fills written for the Sports Anime Shipping Olympics 2016 bonus rounds.

Miscellaneous, by h_lovely

A collection of requested drabbles including but not limited to: Fluffy, lovesick Kuroken, Harry Potter enthusiast Suga, ultra charming Daichi, snarky and oblivious Matsuhana, and endearingly drunk Asahi.

SWAG2016: Haikyuu, by kiyala

A collection of assorted Haikyuu drabbles written for SWAG2016.

[unsettledink]

Back in the days of LJ, I used to try and do a post at the end of each year, looking back primarily at fandom and fic. I fell out of the habit when everything moved to tumblr, and then it seemed like I didn’t have anything to say since I wasn’t writing or really participating any. 

But I always liked the idea of it, because I love to be overly reflective on stuff. And talk about my fic. Any excuse! I shuffled around some of the topics I used back then and added a few I’ve seen around that I liked. It got… long, because I TALK, so I split into two sections. 

*

Your main fandom of the year? 

    Marvel (MCU) for sure. Primarily with characters from Spider-Man and Iron Man movies.

Your favorite film watched this year?

    The Old Guard - I saw a couple trailers and everything about it looked like catnip. ‘It’s probably going to be so dumb, but I don’t even care,’ I thought. And then it was so good. It was so much fun and so much smarter than I expected and I loved each and every character and it just made me happy in so many ways.

Your favorite book read this year?

    Red, White, and Royal Blue, Casey McQuiston - I read it twice this year actually. It’s so… cute isn’t the right world. Sweet and hopeful and soft and comforting and intense. I liked every single character which is pretty rare. I cried during the sad parts and then again at the happy ending, like straight up sobbed - both times. I already want to read it again.

Your favorite tv show watched this year?

    Schitt’s Creek - I started it on a whim and because a lot of people had said it was good. The episodes were short so it wasn’t a huge time investment. The first season was a little rough, but there were enough funny moments that I hung on, and then… I kept getting fonder and fonder of these idiots as they grew. And THEN… it kept not disappointing me? 

     You grow to expect certain scripts, twists, jokes, especially in queer story lines. To wait for the bad thing to happen, because it always does. Instead, Schitt’s Creek kept going, ‘hey, here’s the set up for that! Guess what? We’re not doing it. Here’s the happy version instead.’ The relief of having that happen again and again - the last season I’ve watched (I’m sort of saving 6) I cried a bunch but it was always because I was happy. 

Your favorite album or song to listen to this year?

    1896 - I’ve been waiting for the new Steam Powered Giraffe album so eagerly for aaaaaages. Finally getting recordings of Zero’s songs! Lying Awake remains my favorite off the album, with Eat Your Heart and Bad Days on the Horizon high up there as well. I’m loving what Zero brings to the band.

Your best new fandom discovery of the year?

    I don’t know if I really did discover that much? I stuck pretty closely to old fandoms and the ones I picked up in 2019. Maybe Zodiac? It was definitely inspiring, and I want to write and read more in it. 

    Maybe the couple discords I joined? I still really dislike discord and am not on there much, and mostly lurk when I am, but having somewhere vaguely like the comms I remember makes me feel a little less isolated. It’s the potential, that maybe if I said something I might make a friend, or someone might actually want to hear what I say. 

Your biggest fandom disappointment of the year?

    The Watch - I mean, I knew it was going to be a disaster with every word said during pre production. I wasn’t ever going to be happy with it. And then it came out and was even worse and uglier and … disrespectful not just of the source material but of actual people connected to Terry. I’m beyond disappointed that this is what we got, and it’s probably going to be a long time before we get anything else. 

    Devil All the Time was terrible, but I didn’t have especially high hopes. It still didn’t manage to meet them. Yikes.

The most missed of your old fandoms?

    Maybe MASH? Someone I follow started talking about it and I was reminded all over again of the wonderful fics in that fandom. I went looking and a lot are gone (still on my computer, lol, but not online), but rereading was such a trip. A slightly depressing trip, but still. 

The fandom you haven't tried yet, but want to?

    Hmm. I’ve kind of not had the energy to invest in other fandoms at the moment? When The Witcher was having it’s big moment back in January, I had a feeling I might enjoy it enough to fall headfirst into the fandom, so I avoided watching it. Ikr? I don’t have the time or the energy to actively seek anything out. 

Your biggest fan anticipations for the New Year?

    SO EXCITED about Winter’s Orbit. I mean, the third Spider-Man movie for sure, with worry. The second Venom movie, ugh yes. I have tentative hopes for Jungle Cruise? Jumanji was stellar and I always enjoy Dwayne. I have both hope and dread for the new Suicide Squad - I did love Birds of Prey, so if it’s along those lines, yay. The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard because it should be some fun garbage, my favorite kind. I don’t know how I feel about Dune, but, uh, I’m anticipating it. It seems highly unlikely it will actually happen, but The Wheel of Time TV series. 

I want to be excited about Black Widow but it’s hard. It’s not the story I’ve been wanting to see, and I’m angry about Natasha not getting a movie until she’s dead.

You know. If any of it is released for real.

The Good: 

I moved to a better place. I got a better paying, better benefits, better environment job that lets me work from home. The house acquired 3-7 more cats depending on the month. I was able to get some serious problems on my car fixed. I have insurance and was able to start on some health stuff. No one I know got sick or died. I wrote a LOT.

The Bad: 

Aside from the obvious? Depression hitting extra hard during the winter. Having to put two kittens to sleep. Have my car be hit three times in our parking lot. Being driven INSANE by one of the cats for months while the vets were all closed. Kidney stone. Dealing with several health problems. Stalling for months on Gotcha.

The Indifferent: 

Not leaving the house often or easily. Enjoying a new fandom but not doing great at making connections (still real awkward, bud). Raising kittens and saying goodbye. Need new tires. Reading a lot of fic but not a lot of books. Having more pay but more expenses as well (wth insurance??). 

*

2020 fic stats

Number of stories: 39

Number of fandoms: 6? Or 2, if you cluster the others under mcu

Total number of words: 152049

Average word count per story: 4kish

Longest fic: Causality (18k, P/Q)

Shortest fic: Can’t, Won’t (1k, P/Q)

Most comments received: Sieche (49, T/P)

Fandom you wrote the most of: MCU Spider-Man - I only wrote TWO fics that didn’t feature that fandom, wow. And one of those was still MCU.

Fandom you wrote the least of: Zodiac (1!)

Events you participated in: Marvel Trumps Hate, Kinktober, IornspidersGeorg Exchange, Starker Festivals Exchange, MCU Secret Santa, Spiderio Big Bang

*

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you'd predicted?

    SO MUCH MORE OMG. I mean, even just counting posted stuff! (I probably wrote a solid 300k of Gotcha this year.) I did not expect or plan on doing Kinktober, so that’s a whole 31 fics right there. I also wasn’t planning on doing any exchanges - I have a History - but then I did three? And beyond that, I did not expect for everything to get so LONG.

Topic you wrote that you would never have predicted in January:

    Tony/Quentin. Goddammit @the-me09 They were like hey, they could be interesting! And while I agreed, I had no ideas for them. THEN they had to go and write Just Bodies That Collide and next thing I know, I’ve got ten fics featuring them and two-six series focused on them or Peter/Quentin/Tony. What the fuck. 

Leitmotif of the year:

    Vulnerability, I think. I had a bunch of things typed up and they all circle back to vulnerability in the end; sex, being seen, being wanted, sharing trauma, asking for help, trying something new. Offering a soft spot in the hopes it won’t be hurt. 

Favorite character to write about: 

    Tony Stark, for sure. There are just a bunch of slightly different takes, and a lot of canon to work with (kind of frustrating too though). And I’m a sucker for emotionally damaged snarky traumatized characters that are viewed poorly both in universe and out. 

Favorite kind of fic to write:

    This year? Fluff and smut combined. Maybe that’s not the right term really. I keep looking for and writing, even in the angstiest fics, for those soft moments. Sure, maybe it’s a super smutty kink scene, but I want the affection to be obvious. Maybe everyone is consumed by guilt, but I want it to be based in caring too much. Maybe there’s no real love, just sex and even that’s messed up, but I want to find that tiny bit of fondness. 

    And I want happy endings. Or endings that look like they’re going to be happy, at least, even if there’s all the angst first. I don’t think I’ve killed anyone this year? Who AM I? 

Biggest disappointment:

    Not finishing the rough draft of Gotcha. I was making such good progress in 2019, from August to December. Even after the move, I basically finished part 6 in January. I fumbled around and fussed with 1 a lot, but that had already been given one draft, really, and I got through half of 4 before I slowed to a stop. I’ve barely gotten anything accomplished on it since June. Bits and pieces here and there, but nothing significant, not like I was doing. I can excuse October, due to 80k invested in Kinktober (yikes!), but aside from that… I’m sad. I’ll finish it eventually, but I really thought I could have the first draft done in a year. I’m sitting at about 480k out of what I’m almost certain will be 700k. 

Biggest surprise:

    Kinktober! It was kind of spur of the moment, decided just a week in advance. I’ve tried month long or even like, 20-25 day long challenges and I don’t think I’ve ever completed one. I thought there was a good chance I’d do so again, so I gave myself a little help and made my own list of prompts, things I knew I liked and hadn’t done much of yet. And it worked? I actually completed it, what the hell? Despite spending five days travelling near the end! Despite falling behind in getting ahead and writing a bunch of stories the day they were to be posted! Despite apparently forgetting how to do short form! 

    I, uh, could have done without the spawning of eleven series or sequels or continuations jfc WHY SELF.

Something you learned this year:

    Ideas breed ideas. I swear to god, the second I sit down to think through a current idea, I wake up the next morning with three more. 

    Words need to be restocked. I need to consume new - not rereads, not fic - content every so often to refresh my word bank. It is astonishing how quickly writing goes again after I’ve done so.

    I can write so much more than I thought I could. I can do so much more than I thought I could. Yes, I can complete challenges without dropping out early. Yes, I can do exchanges and not regret it. Yes, I can write more than 100k, more than 200k, more and more - and I can write 10k+ easily too. Though I wouldn’t mind if I could once again write less than 10k without feeling like I’ve cut off in the middle. 

    My time is shrinking, and if I want to write as much, I’m going to have to make the time. I can’t rely on three days off a week, on seven hours of uninterrupted overnight shifts, on hyper focused writing binges that leave everything else around me on fire. 

Most memorable comment: 

    So, so many! I can’t pick one. I’ve been really lucky to get a bunch of really detailed, enthusiastic, analyzing comments across all different fics. One of the types that always sticks with me are the ones like ‘I didn’t think/know I liked this ship/kink/twist, but fuck, apparently I do? You made me, what the hell?’. 

What, if anything, are you going to try to do differently in your writing in the new year?

So with writing Gotcha but not posting until it’s done, my view of what I’ve written vs anyone else’s is extremely skewed. I’m sitting here thinking, hey I’m 400k in and got another 10k done today, so much writing! While anyone looking at my AO3 account (for most of the year) is like, you’re averaging three months between fics :(

    All that to say I want to try and get something posted more frequently while I’m working on Gotcha.

    Also, writing for kinktober was really interesting - pushing myself to write every single day, often for that day’s post, forced me to get back into shorter form fic. Which used to be all I did? But it was surprisingly hard to just stop and not write more. So I’d like to challenge myself to write more fics under 10k at least. Maybe even under 5k though that might be asking a lot lol. I might get there with the many continuations of those fics I’d like to do. Does that count?

Goals:

   I want to hit 365 fics. :) I’m only 32 away!

    Aside from writing - 

    I’ve really enjoyed the reading record sideblog I started this year. I’ve let it lapse a little the past month or so, but I’d like to keep it going strong. 

    I’d like to leave a lot more comments. I want to get better about allowing imperfection - I want to write The Best Comment, but in the end? Probably 90% of fic writers are going to be happier with a comment expressing enjoyment in any way over no comment at all. 

And not just on fics, but on general posts as well. It’s hard not to feel… weird and stupid and invasive and rude leaving any sort of comment on someone’s post if I don’t know them at least a little. I have godawful rejection sensitive dysphoria and a lot of interactions that ended poorly; I’m really not good at people. But as dumb as it feels to say those things, I know I am thrilled and warmed and happier when there’s a reblog with tags or a note or a comment or an ask or just, any small interaction that shows someone out there notices and cares, at least a little. There’s no reason I can’t at least try to offer that to other people. 

    I’d like to make/run a couple challenges of my own, later in the year. I’m still figuring out what I want to do and what I could do. I’m really interested in doing something that’s not focused on creators, but the readers; some sort of comment or rec challenge maybe.

    I want to find a cheerleader for Gotcha. I’m struggling to keep up my motivation to write it when it’s already in my head, where I can ‘read’ it any time. There’s a line between depending too much on external validation and trying to generate all your validation yourself, and I’m getting to a point where I think I need to ask for help (gasp! The hardest thing EVER). 

*

(Part Two: Pick Some Fics)

[ohshcfanficrandr]

The Black Candle: Kiss of the Incubi by StarryKnight94

Story: The Black Candle: Kiss of the Incubi

Author: StarryKnight94 

Website: AO3 

Word Count: 45,638

Status: WIP

Last Updated: 3/25/2017 

Rating: Teen & Up

Tumblr: @starryknightwrites

Author Summary: When the Host Club spends the night at Nekozawa's estate, they accidentally unleash a curse, pitting each host against an evil version of himself. The shadow hosts can only survive by taking what their respective host cares about the most, thereby taking his place forever. Can the Host Club survive the night or will they be banished to the shadow realm eternally?

Relationship: N/A

Applicable Tags: Multiple Pairings, Rape/Non-con, Dub-con, Occult practices

Review (Contains Spoilers):

Through a series of typical twin teasing and pushing their limits the twins unleash a curse on the male Host Club members. Now with demons possessing their shadows each host has a ‘Shadow Form’ working to gain the bodies of their counterparts. Each demon’s mission is to seek after the one thing that means the most to them. Throughout the story we learn bit by bit what each host holds the most dear to them. Working against the clock it is only a matter of time before sunrise and the hosts are desperately trying to not only find each other but Haruhi who was kidnapped by one of the Shadow Members.

Things That I Loved:

I love the contrast between the host members and their shadow counterparts. From what is written we have a pretty good idea as to what each host holds dear. The dark parts of the hosts as represented by their shadow forms bring out the less than savory aspects of our hosts. And I loved that the author explored the ideas that the hosts are human and they can’t maintain a wholly pure hearts. Sometimes we cannot help but press the darkness into the darkest corners of our minds.

I also enjoyed the overall writing style of the author. It was so easy to flow between chapters and get sucked into the plot. In its current state I did not see any glaring plot holes or weird formatting issues.

Things I Wanted More Of:

Obviously, I would love it if this was a finished project mostly because I am selfish and want to see a conclusion to the building tension. But really this story has the potential to be a stand out piece within the fandom. It is not often you come across something that is well written, has decent plot, and captures the true essence of the host club.

Favorite Lines or Quotes From Story:

"I don't scheme and tell, Haruhi."

Would I Read Again?

Yes! I think it was an interesting enough concept that could lead to more angst and tension, which is something I like in a story. Although, I would recommend not reading it if you are on the tired side. You can easily confuse yourself as to who is talking (host/shadow host.) I had to go back every once in a while to re-read a section because I was confused as to who was speaking. But this is more so a me problem being a fast reader (and finishing this fic in one sitting while being on the sleepy side).

Make sure to kudos, comment, and bookmark!

Agree or disagree? Am I on point or way off the mark?

 Let me know in the comments below!

[nothingeverlost]

Fic: Things Half in Shadows (14/14)

Fandom: Once Upon a Time

Pairings: Gold/Belle (eventually) with side pairings that probably include Graham/Bay, Archie/Emma and others.

Summary: The first thing you learn, back in Psych 101, is that you never get emotionally involved with a patient.  For 25 years Dr. Gold hasn’t had a problem walking that fine line.  Something changes, though, when he meets Belle French. AU

Author’s Note: I can’t begin to express what this fic and the people who read it have meant to me.  Thank you all.  This is the last chapter.  I chose to leave it here and pick it up again in a sequel.  The second half is relationship-centric and will begin with Belle leaving Storybrooke.

TRIGGER WARNING: Indirect mentions of abuse and sexual assault

<Prologue><Chapter 1><Chapter 2> <Chapter 3> <Chapter 4> <Chapter 5> <Chapter 6> <Chapter 7> <Chapter 8> <Chapter 9> <Chapter 10> <Chapter 11> <Chalpter 12> <Chapter 13>

Chapter 14 - Small Steps

II

There was a book on the table next to her customary cup of tea.  The cover was free of words, only a pattern of roses that looked like an old bit of wallpaper.

“A journal?” she guessed.  She’d never kept a diary before and felt a flutter in her stomach when she remembered the last time her doctor had asked her to write anything.  Eight words and everything had changed.  For the better, maybe, someday, but nothing had ever hurt so much.  She hadn’t had the numbness to shield her.  She would try, though, if he asked.

“While that’s never a bad idea that’s not my intent today.  It is for writing but I don’t want you to write about yourself.”  

“Who should I be writing about?”  She knew he wouldn’t ask her to write about her father.

“You read a lot of stories, Belle.  It’s a comfort to step into the world someone else created, to attend a ball with Elizabeth Darcy or to push the Dread Pirate Roberts down a hill.  I want to see you try writing a story with your own words.  It can be as simple or as complex as you like.”  From his pocket he took a pen, resting it on top of the book.

“That’s it?  Just write something?”  She hadn’t written anything since a creative writing class she took her first semester in college.  She couldn’t remember if she’d liked it or not.

“Anything you want.  When you’re done you can show it to anyone you want or you can keep it to yourself.  You can show it to me, but only if that’s what you want.”  He took a sip of his tea.  Belle remembered her own cup and took a sip, and a bite of the coffee cake he’d brought in that morning.  She liked the blueberries.  “What’s the first story you remember as a child?”

“Cinderella.”  She was distracted by the book, picking it up and running her fingers over the lightly textured cover before opening it up.  The pages were blank.  So much empty space; it seemed lonely without words.  “Not the Disney one; it was a pop-up book.  There was this page with all the stairs and in the middle the glass slipper.  I remember running my fingers up and down the stairs, pretending I’d lost my shoe.  One page had the carriage and you could open the door and look inside.  I wanted to shrink so I could fit inside, just for a little while.  It was such a pretty little carriage.”

“Perhaps you can tell the story of a little girl who did manage to shrink,” he suggested.  “When my son was wee there was a story he loved about a family that lived in the walls of a house.”

“I loved Thumbelina.  My mama would watch the movie with me; it was the first VHS I remember owning.  We liked to sing the songs together.”  They would cuddle under a blanket and share a bowl of popcorn that they’d made together on the stove.  Her mama loved to sing.  She’d almost forgotten how she’d sung when she was washing the dishes, or combing her hair, and always at bedtime.  “I don’t remember anything about the movie except that she was little and there was singing.”

“I’m sure we could find a copy, sometime.”  He scribbled a note on a piece of paper.  It was strange, most psychiatrists she had seen wrote a lot.  Some seemed to barely look at her, they were so busy writing about what she said.  Her doctor rarely wrote more than a few sentences and she always got the feeling that it was making sure he remembered things rather than analyzing her.   “It sounds like a memory worth holding onto.”

“I think it is.”  It hurt to think about her mama; maybe it always would.  But it made her feel warm, too, to remember the way they had sung together.  Maybe getting better meant that the warm was just as strong as the hurt.  She took another bite of her coffee cake and waited for questions about her mama that didn’t come.  Her doctor turned back to the subject of stories for the rest of her session.

II

Belle’s entrance to the art room was blocked by the sprawled form of Jefferson on the floor, arms and legs both spread eagle.  She held her new book to her chest and looked down at him, wondering if she needed to go back and get help.  His eyes were open, though, and she couldn’t see anything that looked like danger.

“Don’t mind him, he’s just being a drama queen.”  August leaned against the back of a chair nearby.  “Even more so than usual.”

“I’m bor-ed.  Bored.  B-b-b-bored.”

“I’m starting to get the idea that Jefferson’s bored.  Anyone else getting that feeling?”  Ruby was using the art scissors to trim bits of her hair.

“Does this place have a yelp?  I’m giving them one star.  Can I do no stars?  I’m going to do that.  The food is pedestrian, the entertainment is abysmal, and I’m sure there’s beds of nails that are more comfortable than what passes for accommodation here.”

“Fortunately there’s always the chance that a patient will provide entertainment,” Ruby said pointedly.

“You call this entertaining?”  August rolled his eyes.

“Do you think they might let us have a picnic?”  Belle offered tentatively.  They’d had sunny afternoons the last couple of days.

“A party.”  Jefferson sat up.  “Rabbit, you’re brilliant.”

“Christmas is over.”  From the corner of the room a small sad voice piped up.  Astrid was working on something involving glue and a lot of glitter.  

“Anyone have a birthday coming up?”  Jefferson asked hopefully.

“Mine was last month.”  Mary Margaret was the first to pop Jefferson’s bubble.  Belle just shook her head. No one had mentioned holidays or birthdays since she’d arrived, almost as if time was standing still.  Maybe that’s what they all hoped, that time was still and they would be able to just slip into their lives when they returned home.  If they returned.

“This is perfect.  Bake the cake and hire the clowns, we’re having a birthday party.”  Jefferson shot up so fast it was hard to tell how he’d gotten to his feet.  

“No on has a birthday until June, sweetie,” Ruby reminded him.

“Please tell me you’re not serious about clowns.”  August crossed his arms.  “That’s not funny.”

“If it’s no one’s birthday then it’s everyone’s unbirthday.  What’s better than an unbirthday party?”  He raced around the room, pulling fake flowers and ribbons from bins, stopping behind Astrid’s chair to lean down low.  “More glitter, little mouse.  We need more sparkle.”

“This is going to be interesting.”  Ella picked up the flower that had landed in her lap.

“That’s one word for it,” August commented, pointedly ignoring the ribbons that had landed on his shoulder.  “Not the word I’d pick, though.”

II

“Have you ever read any fairy tales?”  Belle threw a pea into the lake, a little farther from the shore this time.  The ducklings were getting bigger now, and Graham said that they needed to work a little for their food.

“Maybe when I was a kid.  I don’t remember, really.”  They reached for a pea at the same time, their fingers touching.  Belle hardly thought about it, or the fact that only a few weeks ago it would have startled her.

“I was rereading some yesterday.”  She had hoped they would inspire her own idea for a story.  “They’re very black and white.  Stepmothers are always evil.  The princess is always good and pure. Fairy godmothers will always help.  Wolves can’t be trusted.”

“A lot of people don’t understand about wolves.  They’re nobel.”  Graham tossed another pea into the water, a little farther from the ducks.  One of the ducklings dove to get it and came up, shaking out its feathers.  

“Maybe it’s easier to pretend that the scary things are so simple.  As easy to see as a wolf in pajamas.”  Fairytales never taught you to be scared of the people that said they loved you; at least none that she’d found.

“Wolf wouldn’t be happy wearing anyone’s pajamas, but he does like sleeping bags.  I had to buy one for him or I’d never get any sleep when we go out.  He gets in and curls up until all you can see is his nose.  He has to carry it, though, if he wants it.”  The last of the peas were gone.  Graham opened the other bag he’d brought and set out two white chocolate cranberry cookies.

“He carries his sleeping bag?”  Graham had mentioned camping, once.  Belle had never had a pet, but didn’t imagine that was something they usually did.  

“It clips onto his harness. He’s always excited when I put it on because he knows we’ll sleep outdoors.  Besides, I carry food for both of us, it’s only fair he carries his own bedding.”  Graham took a bite of one of the cookies and pushed the other one a little closer to her.  “Somehow I ended up with an extra if you want one.”

“Thank you.”  Nurse Whale had mentioned she was up seven pounds and had been pleased when he added the note to her file.  Someday maybe she could meet her doctor’s son and thank him for all the muffins and cookies.  “Does Wolf have to carry his own tent too?”

“We don’t use a tent.  Just a sleeping bag apiece and a campfire.  Can’t see the stars in a tent, and they tell a different story every night.”  it was midday but still Graham looked up at the sky as if he could see the stars.

“What happens if it rains?”  

“We get wet.”  Graham shrugged.  “If it’s a heavy storm we find a shelter.  But look at the ducklings, they love to get wet.  A lot of animals do.  There’s nothing harmful in a little rain, and afterwards everything smells new.’

“I’ve never been camping.”  She and her mama used to make tents out of sheets and imagine they were camping.  They made s’mores in the oven and ate them sitting around a flashlight.  She’d mentioned camping to her papa once and he’d taken her to a resort that summer in upstate New York.  They’d served a chocolate mousse topped with meringue and graham cracker and called it a s’more.  Her papa had called her princess and gifted her with her first bikini.  She’d ‘lost’ it after the second day, and was glad they never went back.  

“There’s berries and mushrooms growing on the other side of the lake, at the edge of the woods.  It’s not camping but we could go for a walk,” he suggested, finishing his cookie.

“Are you sure it’s alright?”  She’d never walked past the edge of the lake.

“As long as you stay with me.”

II

By the time they returned from their walk Belle had almost forgotten about fairytales.  Graham had shown her the signs of edible mushrooms, but cautioned her not to eat any without him there.  He’d pointed out a nest in a branch that still held eggs.  There was a bush full of berries that might make a good cookie.  Her questions had been tentative at first but he’d answered them all, speaking more than he usually did.  She was eager to learn more and he walked with her to the library to point out a few books they had about local flora and fauna.  Caught up in the books she almost didn’t notice someone joining them in the library.

“Belle.”  Gaston had his hands in his pockets, his height seeming so much taller than she remembered.  “Can we talk?”

“Visitor’s hours are Saturday.  This isn’t a good time.”  Graham took two steps to his right, coming between her and the doorway.

“You’re not Belle, so I wasn’t talking to you.  I was talking to my fiance.”  Gaston was less forceful than usual, but she knew that he wouldn’t leave.  

“It’s okay, Graham.”  She didn’t know what he wanted, but it was usually quicker to give it to him than argue.  Logic wasn’t Gaston’s strongest suit.  “He’s driven a long way to be here.  We can talk.”

“You heard her.  I’m sure there’s someone else in this place that needs your attention.”  Gaston sat on one of the sofas, his feet on the table.  Belle was reminded of his home office, though the Storybrooke library didn’t have any animal heads mounted on the walls.

“Right now my job is to be here.”  Graham crossed his arms.  Gaston’s cheek muscle twitched.

“Can we have a few minutes, Graham?  You could wait right outside the door.”  She could call for him if she needed him.  She wondered if she actually would.

“A few minutes and the door stays open,” Graham agreed reluctantly.  Once he was out of the room Belle dug her nails into the arm of the couch.  She tried to remember what it was like to sit at dinner with him and make small talk.  

“You look good, Gaston.”  He had a tan that she knew came from a tanning bed this time of year and a body sculpted with the help of a personal trainer named Lefou.

“You look… fine.”  His eyes swept over her, and she knew he was seeing the hair pulled back in a ponytail and the bulky sweater that was warm but unfashionable.  She hadn’t put on any makeup since she’d arrived, except the nail polish Ruby had used a few days ago to make her nails a pale pink.  “Are you… fine?”

“I’m learning a lot about myself.”  Fine was right up there with okay on the list of words she didn’t know how to define.  There were a lot of things people said to each other that didn’t mean anything, polite lies that meant not talking about anything real..

“Moe said you would be coming home soon.”  Belle flinched, but she was certain Gaston didn’t notice.  

“I’m not ready for that.”  Belle shook her head.  She wouldn’t ever return to the place that Gaston called home.  For weeks she had asked Doctor every day about the restraining order, needing the reminder that it was real.  She had spoken to the sheriff once, as well.  It had been almost a month now, and no lawyers had shown up.  No threats had been made.  She was beginning to believe she was safe for him, at least within the small world of Storybrooke.  What happened when she left she didn’t know; she didn’t have a home anymore.

“I don’t understand why you’re here.  You’re not like them.”  He gestured towards the doorway, where the sounds of art therapy could be heard.  “You’d do better being around your own people.”

“These are my people.”  They were all trying to heal from things.  She wondered if Gaston would even be able to understand what it was to need to heal.  He spoke of little other than hunting and business, boating and stocks.  If she was honest with herself there was very little she knew about the man she’d said yes to marrying.  He knew even less about her.

“Your people are at home; there’s a dinner at the club this weekend.  People keep asking me when you’re coming home, not that they know where you are.”  Too restless for the couch Gaston rose and started pacing.  “They ask me about the wedding.”

“I can’t marry you, Gaston.”  She said the words in a hurry, afraid she wouldn’t say them all if she didn’t say them all at once.

“You don’t mean that.  When you get home…”

“No.”  She shook her head.  When her father had brought Gaston home she had accepted it, as she did everything else.  She hadn’t gone away to college because he didn’t want it.  She hadn’t babysat as a teen.  Hadn’t gone to school dances.  She was always a dutiful daughter, even when it came to dating the man that was picked out for her.  And saying yes when expected, whether it was diner, sex or an engagement ring.  If she stayed with Gaston she was still her father’s prisoner.  It didn’t matter that Gaston was unaware of who Moe French really was or what he had done.  “I’m sorry Gaston.”

“I don’t understand, we had plans.  You said yes.”  Any plans they had, Belle knew, had been his own.  A wife to take care of his house and play hostess for his parties.  The right type of woman to show off at the club.  Children, probably, but she couldn’t even think about that.  For a moment she imagined a daughter, soft brown curls and her mother’s eyes.  She thought of her father, and wondered if she would have more power to protect a daughter than she’d had to save herself.

“Belle.” He said her name sharply, and probably not for the first time.  It was enough to bring Graham into the room.  She thought of the stories he’d told her about Wolf, and wondered if that was why she was reminded so strongly of a predator.  The narrow eyes and tense muscles might have scared her from another man, but she trusted him.  He was there to protect her.

“I’m alright now.”  She spoke to Gaston but looked over his shoulder to Graham.  She could make it through this conversation but she wasn’t going to ask him to leave again.

“This place is making you worse, not better,” Gaston groused.

“I’m not someone you would want to marry.”  There wasn’t any point explaining to him anymore than that.  “The ring is in my jewelry box at home.  You should have it back.”

“You shouldn’t make decisions in a place like this.  When you change your mind…”

“I wish you the best, Gaston, I really do.  I need you to go now.”  Graham took a step closer.  Perhaps Gaston felt it, or perhaps he decided his ego was smarting from the rejection.

“If I take back the ring that’s it.”  When she didn’t say anything he got up and strode from the library.  She hesitated for a moment before running after him.

“Gaston, wait.”  She could feel Graham standing behind her, not trying to touch her but his presence unmistakable.

“I knew it.”  His smile was the cocky one she was most familiar with.  Belle took a breath, closing her eyes.  She could be brave.  She could speak up.

“You move in the same circles as my father.  Parties, the club, charity events.  You should know…”  She felt her nails against the underside of her forearm and paused, pulling them away.  She would not hurt herself.  “He can’t be left alone with little girls.  They need to be protected.

“You can’t mean…”  She’d never before seen all the color drain from Gaston’s face.  The horrified look in his eyes was probably the most real emotion she’d ever seen from him.  She nodded and waited to see that he understood what she meant, then turned her back to him.  She couldn’t allow him to ask questions, couldn’t speak any clearer than she already had.  It had taken all of her bravery to say that much.

Doctor Gold was standing on the other side of the doorway.  “Graham thought you might like a cup of tea.  I thought we could take some out to the garden.”  

“I would like that.”  She was surprised to see that her hand wasn’t trembling.  The hot tea would be welcome. Before she followed him she looked over her shoulder on last time.  “Goodbye, Gaston.”

She stood completely still until she could feel him leaving.  Graham was gone too, and she knew without having to ask that he was following Gaston.  Making sure he didn’t linger, didn’t ask anything more of her.  After almost two years and an engagement it was strange to think that she’d most likely seen him for the last time.  It was probably stranger to think she had agreed to marry him but wouldn’t miss him.

“He’s gone, dearie.  Would you like to sit down?”

“In the garden.”  She looked down at her feet and willed them to move.  After a moment they did, and if she thought about nothing else but walking she could get herself to the bench outside before her knees let her down.  He handed her a mug of tea poured from his thermos as soon as she sat.  It seemed cooler outside than it had half an hour ago when she’d been walking with Graham.

“He shouldn’t have gotten as far as the library without anyone stopping him, Belle.  I’m sorry.”  He waited a moment to speak, or maybe it was five minutes.  She wasn’t sure how long she’d been staring at her tea before looking at him.

“He wasn’t a threat.  He never hurt me.”  She wasn’t sure she could say that Gaston was a good man.  He worked and he hunted and he went to the club.  He hated books and was sometimes frustrated when he saw her reading rather than socializing, but he was never cruel.  He didn’t go out of his way to help anyone but neither did he hurt anyone.  “I didn’t even know I didn’t want to be with him.  It was easier to just say yes.”

“It was what other people wanted from you,” he commented softly.

“I said no to him today.”  Had she ever said that before?  She couldn’t remember the last time she’d said no, not to something as simple as where they were going for dinner or as complicated as an engagement ring.  Not to trips with her papa or his college plans or anything.  “Even when it made him mad.”

“The only emotions you are responsible for are your own.”  His tea was on the bench, his hands both on the handle of his cane.  He moved it restlessly, the tip moving bits of gravel around the ground.  He always moved, even when he was sitting still.  “What you did today took a good deal of courage.

“I was scared.  Not of him.”  He made her feel small next to him, his confidence and control making her feel like everything centered around him, but she hadn’t feared him.  Or loved him.  She’d simply existed next to him.  “Everything’s changed now.”

“The unknown can be very hard to step into, even when the known is hurting us.  It’s normal to be scared.”  His voice was low and soothing.  Belle allowed herself to close her eyes and just listen to him.  His words settled into her bones with the same warmth as the tea.  

“So now I start over?”  With Gaston gone she had no connection to the people she’d called friends, who were really just social acquaintances.  With the restraining order against her father she was an orphan in all the ways that mattered.  

“As much as we might sometimes wish for a blank slate there is no such thing.  No tabula rasa.”  He quirked his lips into something that wasn’t quite a smile, or at least not a happy one.  “We continue on a step at a time because the only thing we can do is move forward or stand still.  What we do get to decide is what we carry with us and what we work on shedding.”

Belle looked down at her hands, seeing only the cooling mug of tea but knowing she held onto so much more.  “I left Gaston behind.”

“You did.  Are you feeling alright about that?”  He picked up his mug, but only played with the handle.

Belle nodded.  The conversation had been hard but knowing it was over was easy.  “It’s not so simple with papa.”

“No, it’s not.  But you’ve already taken the first steps.”  He paused, looking at her.  Belle took a shaky breath and nodded.  It helped that he didn’t lie to her.  Didn’t pretend that anything was going to be easy.  If she’d taken the first steps there were still dozens more to take.

“One step at a time.”  She rubbed her arm.  There was no pain, and she’d stopped herself from digging her nails into the skin when she’d spoken to Gaston.  That was a step too.

II

Belle deliberately chose the same sofa in the library she’d shared with Gaston the next day, an exorcism of sorts.  She curled up with her notebook and pen, took a deep breath, and started writing.  An hour later she had twelve pages of writing and a sore hand.  The wolf was about to rescue Little Red from her grandmother when Jefferson threw himself at the other side of the sofa, making the whole thing bounce.

“Put the books away, it’s time to play.”  He wore a top hat made from construction paper covered in glittering gears and offered her a pipe cleaner tiara with tissue paper roses.  “Your unbirthday awaits.”

“I thought it was everyone’s unbirthday.”  She slipped her book into the oversized pockets of her cardigan before accepting the tiara.

“You’re one of the everybody, aren’t you?”  He tipped his hat at her, stood, and offered her his hand.  She only hesitates a moment before letting him help her up.  

“I am.”  She followed Jefferson to the garden where her friends were waiting to celebrate.  It was one more small step.

[shellsan]

Okay, so this is a somewhat important announcement so if you’re a regular reader of mine, you may wish to read over this first part.

Starting 2020, I will be limiting what content I’m crossposting to FFN. The long and short of it will be under the cut but in case you don’t want to read all of that, there’s the important thing.

Now, onto my reasons.

Honestly, this is something I’ve been struggling with a lot over the past 25 days and that I’ve had advice on from a few of my other fic posting friends in a discord server who have noticed my growing feels of irritation and sadness. I never noticed when I did my first 30 day challenge in the first half of this year, but since I was so busy while doing this FicMas event and juggling so much, i think it may have just effected me more this time around. And that is the comments.

I love comments and reviews. I thrive off of interactions with everyone in the communities I write for, and the more interaction I have in each community - the more I write for it. But here lies my problem;

A content of the reviews from FFN over the course of my FicMas event have been... less exciting to wake up to. This may sound whiny but I don’t particularly care if that’s how people choose to interpret it - but more and more of the reviews are coming off as demanding. I don’t think this is the intent of most of the people when they review. And the first time It happens It’s more flattering then annoying.

BUT!

When the only reviews I wake up to in the morning are people who’s first comment is “more please” or “I loved this, but you made a grammar mistake here” or on one ocassion “this feels incomplete”, it’s more then a little upsetting. Especially when they don’t even have the manners to add a simple ‘thanks’.

I’ve been working my ass off to fulfil my family and friend commitments, work commitments and still get a fic out every single day. There is 70 000 words worth of content in my FicMas event. That’s half of what I’ve written for most of this year within the space of less than a month. It’s not easy and It’s something I was excited to do. I’m still excited to have done it!

I’m proud of my writing progress but I’m even prouder that I could produce something for my friends and followers to enjoy in this month where everyone is stressed and busy. Knowing that I lightened someone’s day meant the world to me.

You can’t pay to hear those kinds of things. Money can’t buy sincere thanks.

But that doesn’t mean I’m going to sit here and act like it doesn’t hurt to have my work overlooked by people who are acting entitled to receive content.

This is not every fandom. The majority of the fandoms I write for have been wonderful and thankful for the content I’ve handed out this month. But it’s because of the few that I have to make this decision.

So, on the subject of what i��m no longer posting on FFN:

Well, pretty much everything.

I will still be releasing my Ghost Hunt content over on FFN, mostly just because that is where the majority of people still read it. The fandom still hasn’t quite made the switch and I’m not willing to punish the people who have supported me in that fandom over one or two comments that are very much an anomaly. I will most likely also release my One Piece content on FFN because I think a good portion of that fandom also remains on FFN and hasn’t moved over to AO3. I am also likely to post my OHSHC fics over on FFN because I’ve noticed that they have a fair few people left over there as well.

My MCU fics in particularly are definitely moving over to AO3 only. RoyEd doesn’t get much traction on FFN anyways, so i’m happy to stop making the effort to crosspost those. My Merlin content is much the same. I don’t recall having an issue with anyone but there’s not enough of the fandom over there for me to really bother any more unless something has a request. My dgm fics are the same, it’s not worth the crosspost since everyone over on AO3 for the most part. I’m tossing up with the Hobbit, but I think that one is also not worth the crosspost but I am willing to reconsider if someone asks me about it.

[arofili]

for the fanfic writer asks - 5, 8, 9 for "and Love", 12, 17, 25, 41, 49? (you definitely don't have to answer all of these, just whichever ones you feel like answering!)

5) If you had to choose a favourite out of all of your multi chaptered stories, which would it be and why?

Oh geez, this is hard! I’ve really enjoyed most of my multi chapter stories. Honestly, I’ve probably got to go with Beneath the Stars - that was the first really long fic I wrote for the Tolkien fandom, and it was such a labor of love. I mean, all my fics are, but that one especially I poured so much energy into, writing about the future Tauriel didn’t get to have in canon. I don’t post or write about her nearly as much as I used to, but she is still one of my all time favorite characters!

8) Where do you take your inspiration from?

Hmm… i mean, tumblr, a lot of the time! Talking about theories with people like @waitineedaname @but-what-if-i-fly @thishazeleyeddemon and @buffintruder really gets me pumped about writing! and just seeing the Silm fandom’s endless theories and analysis inspires me more every day. And reading source material, too! i have so many ideas just from my recent TFOG read, it’s crazy. I am never lacking for inspiration, it’s actually kind of a problem! I have way too many things to write!

9) In your xxx fic, what’s your favourite scene that you wrote?

[and Love]

Oh geez, that one is full of scenes I love! Probably the one where Magnus and Lucretia are under the stars on a more peaceful cycle, and they decide that they’re in a QPR. Like their whole relationship makes me so emo in general, but that particular moment…gosh, my heart is so full just thinking about it.

12) Who is your favourite character to write for? Why?

Again, this one is really tough! I already picked my Tauriel fic for my favorite multi chapter fic, so I can’t go with her… I guess Fili or Legolas! I project onto both of them a LOT, so it’s difficult for me to differentiate which is my favorite, but really any time I get to write about those boys is a delight. For TAZ it’s definitely Magnus, although I have a soft spot for Kravitz too!

17) Post a line from a WIP that you’re working on.

Most of the fic I’m working on right now is actually in the planning stages… so have this fragment from the later chapters of Unanticipated where the child of Haleth and Caranthir is struggling with their identity. [Also I literally just wrote this so it might not actually make it into the story, but the cousins meeting has been on my mind for awhile!]

“Are you a Kinslayer if you’re a half-elf who kills a mortal?” Rýndil asked bitterly. “Because then maybe I do fit in with the rest of the Fëanorians.”

“You—what?” Celebrimbor said, his eyes widening. “A half-elf?”

“I thought you’d be more concerned about the Fëanorian part.” Rýndil raised an eyebrow. “Considering you’re one yourself. That would make us cousins, wouldn’t it? Your father is Curufin. Mine is Caranthir.”

Celebrimbor stared at them, gobsmacked. “I thought I was the only one!”

“What, you’re a half-elf too?”

“No! I thought I was the only grandson of Fëanor!”

“You are. I’m not a man.” Rýndil sighed. For someone supposedly as smart as Celebrimbor, he was having some difficulties putting together the pieces. “Not a woman either, before you ask.”

“You have to meet Gil-galad,” Celebrimbor said earnestly, jumping right over that topic. “He’s—well, that’s his secret to share, not mine, but you simply must meet him.”

25) Have you ever cried whilst writing a story?

OHHHH YEAH. Several times while working on my novel! Almost any time I get to finish a really long fic! And I made myself cry while writing “and Love” during the scene where Magnus realizes Julia is dead, and then again at the incredibly sappy sweet ending where EVERYONE IS HAPPY.

41) What’s you favourite minor character you’ve written?

Ah, geez, another toughie…Gil-galad is always fun! I’ve done a couple different takes on him, and I’m planning more :) Also, Haleth - I love her so much and I’m having a lot of fun portraying her as a no-nonsense middle-aged woman. Most of the time in fandom she’s portrayed as like a young woman (and that’s totally valid!), but according to Tolkien’s notes she was actually 35 when she took command of the Haladin!

49) Can you remember the first fic you read? What was it about?

Ummm probably not the first fic I read, but I can tell you about the first one I was really obsessed with! I was on the Official Warrior Cats Forum, I was about 9 or 10? And there was some really long (at least it seemed long to me!) fic that kind of picked up where the most recent book had left off and delved really deep into a possible future. I don’t remember much about it other than it had several sequels, it was posted one-post-per-chapter in a really long thread, and it featured the child of Hollyleaf and Sol who was named “Clanheart” I believe. I loved it so much I compiled the entire thing, all of the “volumes”, into one big WordPerfect doc (my parents didn’t have Word. they still dont actually lmao) and printed it out so I could read it at school! I also would make posts in the thread of just. The entire fic in one post instead of spread out over multiple posts. The author kind of got annoyed at me doing that so I stopped, but I was sooo in love with the story. I think it really must have been one of the first fics I got into because it was also my first attempt at expressing my enthusiasm for someone else’s fanworks!

[shprka]

“Of Lions, foxes and bears” and me – my literary journey with Part 1 of Merlin and Arthur's story

YOU CAN READ PART 1 OF THE STORY ON AO3

Hi, I'm Szpurka!

INTRODUCTION

(if you just don't wanna read this big ass wall of text and you came just for the fic, scroll to title SO, THE FIC)

Some of you might know I write and I love to write, anything and everything – short stories, longer stories, fanfiction, screenplays. As of yet most of them haven't seen the light of day and to be honest, some of them never will. You can say I am both self-conscious and confident in my writing. If I wasn't at least somewhat proud of what I write, I would just sit day-dreaming about the ideas I have and I would be miserable and too afraid to show it to anyone. And I was that for a long time, until I decided this year that no, I don't have to keep what I write a secret (even if it's a self-indulgent fanfic). I started to believe in myself more and am still trying to write and read and find like-minded people, who can relate and maybe have a good word or two to give.

But you're most likely here not to listen to me ramble about myself! You want to know how “Of Lions...” came to life. I don't want it to be a long post, so we'll just go over some technical stuff.

Fantasy is a genre that I loved since I was little, later on in my teens I became interested in different cultures and their mythologies. This is why I started watching Merlin in the first place, as probably many of you. Knights, sorcerers, magic, evil kings and witches? Sign me the fuck up!

Don't kill me, but I started my journey with Merlin pretty late (January 2019, the beginning of this year). I watched a few episodes on the telly, and never gave it much thought. Until a friend of mine mentioned it a few times and it was on Netflix, so yep, that's how it all started.

I was in a few fandoms before, have written a few fanfics for them (that are lost forever because I don't remember where I saved them, and then I changed laptops like three times, so... rest in peace, forgotten words of a teen me). I was honestly surprised Merlin fandom is so active and, you know, even alive after all this years. The show ended in 2012, wow.

I've written a few pieces, especially encouraged by the Merlin Memory Month May 2019 prompts, which got me really excited and thinking of all the possibilities. I've read a lot of Merthur fanfics by then and seen all the variations of the characters and the story, and honestly with every knew author I fall in love with writing and the particular movie or show even more. That's when I heard the words After Camlann Big Bang 2019 been uttered somewhere on this corner of the internet and I was like, yep, I'm in, I have to write a story now.

SO, THE FIC

(interesting stuff, finally!)

I had idea for Ranger!Arthur for a while and I wanted to try and write high fantasy on my own, kind of like in the show but more mythology and Celts and druids, and magic. I turned out in Part 1 of this you can read like 1/3 of it, though, and there's not a lot of magic, sorry! I will write the rest and I promise it will be much more magic-y.

What I also wanted was for BBC's Merlin to give me at least a few more episodes where Arthur knows about Merlin's magic and they work together to bring magic back and kick ass together. Basically, an fantasy adventure. And I settled on that.

You can see I took some liberties with the world-building. Arthur's characterization is what I had a problem with because he was a spoiled prince we all know, on the other – I had to describe how being in the Otherworld changed him.

Otherworld – it's underworld/hell/heaven, where souls go after people die. It's most of often than not depicted as a land of everlasting youth and joy and a paradise, basically. You can now it as Avalon, a magical island where King Arthur (from the legends) was taken after the Battle of Camlann. Avalaon became associated with heaven/paradise. That's where magic lives, fairies, spirits and such.

You can remember from BBC's Merlin how the Sidhe tried to drag Arthur with them to their own world by an open portal in the river. This is because Celts believed gates to other worlds (and in this case just one, Otherworld) were in lakes, rivers, in fires, on the top of mountains or hills – places where two elements collide.

So why depict Otherworld as a wasteland with gray ugly sky, and the only life there are beasts that want to eat each other alive and this is a place where only the strongest survive? Don't want to spoil anything, but there is a big reason that Arthur ended up in this kind of place, and not some kind of heaven.

Wyverns – if you look up a definition, they are smaller dragons with only two legs, that's why mine don't have four like in BBC's Merlin. They don't breathe fire, but mine spit fire just a little bit, because that's cool.

Midsummer – which is one of the most important traditions Celtic year. It takes place between June 19 and June 25. And because I am lazy and just came up to write this and have to go to bed because of an early morning, I added my notes (I hope you can understand my awful chicken scratch) + photos from the book that I came across called “Midsummer: Magical Celebrations of the Summer Solstice” by Anna Franklin.

MY SITE, MY BOOK AND MY PLANS FOR THE FUTURE

As I mentioned on ao3, yes, I have a site in the making! I hoped to have it set up before posting this fic, and this post would be one of the first, but you just can't rush some things. While it's slowly coming along and will be a place where I share some of my personal view on writing and filmmaking (because I am a film student, hoping to be a director, if you didn't know :)) and maybe it would a platform to share my stories, both fanfiction and future novels, scripts (hopefully) and my progress of taking my life by the horns (is that the saying? Probably not) and becoming who I want to be, instead waiting for a publisher to call and say, “I don't know who you are, what you do or what you've done ever in your life, but I want your story that no one knows about to be published!!!”.

This isn't the post to be really talking about it (haha, exploiting your merthur love to read this, I am awful, I know), but I have a finished novel of over 100k words sitting in my drawer (in a folder on my laptop) and I have to focus on it finally, not get distracted and translate it all from Polish (my mother language) to English by myself. Then I'll have to find an editor to check it all for me and some beta readers, because no one but me even touched the finished story and we'll see from there. By talking about it to more people I hope to actually get it done and find my enthusiasm again.

The story is an urban fantasy happening in our times in New York. The fates of two completely different people are more intertwined than they think. The first one is a fantasy writer from London and the other is a broker's bodyguard, a woman who is a splitting image of Death from the writer's short story, exactly how he imagined her when he'd written it as a kid. They meet as adults and try to discover how's that possible that she's Death.

If you were interested, intrigued maybe check for the updates, I'll definitely talk about it in detail within the next few weeks, maybe even share some spoilers ;) on my site. Was thinking of posting a first chapter/prologue some day to get you into the feel of the story and maybe support the creative process.

IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS, DON'T BE AFRAID TO ASK!

CLICK BELOW FOR MY NOTES :)

[callunavulgari]

TOP 25 FICS OF 2018

1. A Cornstalk Fiddle by @notbecauseofvictories | Devil Went Down To Georgia | The Devil/Johnny | 17k

Where Johnny goes, the Devil follows; where Johnny goes, the Devil is already there.

Heather Says: So. I never thought that my favorite fic of the entire year would be a fic written about a song - and one that I don’t even particularly like - but here I am. I read this fic the same night that I finally broke down and watched Moonlight, and ended up listening to Moonlight’s End Credits and Hello Stranger by Barbara Lewis on repeat while I finished that first chapter on my back porch. This is that perfectly atmospheric fic that you’ll find maybe once every ten years and could probably sustain you on its memory for just as long.

2. Work of All Saints by @kaikamahine | Coco | Imelda/Hector/Ernesto | 210k

Imelda Rivera (b. 1899 - d. 1969), a story that includes but is not limited to: the finest music school this side of the Santo Domingo, three traveling musicians and the mess they made of love, the twice-cursed assassination of Venustiano Carranza, all the patron saints, and ninety-six ways a man can try to cross a bridge.

Heather Says: This story blew my entire mind. It was lovely, and tragic, and hilarious, and everything that a good novel should be. The parts of this fic that map out the unseen lives of Imelda, Hector, and Ernesto, that hidden backstory that a movie can only hint about, were exquisite to the point that I was afraid getting to the point where, well, they die, would be a letdown. It really wasn’t. If anything, the story managed to get richer as it went along, until suddenly you’re in a room sobbing into a pillow at four in the morning and have to be awake in four hours. No regrets.

3. Under the Covers by @toast-ranger-to-a-stranger | Stranger Things | Billy/Steve | 87k

Steve is (maybe) a little bit still in love with Nancy Wheeler and (maybe) trying to figure himself out-- between the night terrors and the babysitting and the general weirdness that is Hawkins, Indiana-- before he graduates.

Billy Hargrove fits in there somewhere (probably).

Heather Says: Under the Covers was the first Harringrove fic that actually kicked me over the edge from ‘eh this ship looks like it would have good hate sex’ and into full-fledged believer. It’s an intricately crafted look into the world of Billy Hargrove and Steve Harrington post-season two and it is absolutely glorious.

4. Bloody Ruin by esama | Castlevania | Alucard/Trevor | 37k

Vampire hunter and a vampire try to get along.

Heather Says: Written before season two came out, this was one of those fics that I clicked on because the pairing interested me and I wanted to see how it worked. It did not disappoint, and even after I delved through the tag on ao3 after I marathoned season two, this is still my favorite.

5. a road less traveled and a life less led by Azzandra | Dishonored | Billie & The Outsider | 9k

She took him out of the Void, as promised. And then she kept him, she supposed.

Heather Says: You know all that fanart that started cropping up after Death of the Outsider came out? The ones where Billie and the Outsider crept around Dunwall or Karnaca stealing fish and safes and graffiti-ing buildings? The ones with that found family vibe? Yeah. This fic scratches the same itch that all that art did.

6. But I’m Not There Yet by sarahyyy | Yuri On Ice | Yuri/Otabek | 71k

“Are you not going to read the article?” she asks, flopping onto his bed. “Look who ranked second, just after Phichit Chulanont.”

Otabek reluctantly scrolls down, and oh. #2 - Yuri Plisetsky

In the embedded Instagram photo just under that subheading, a very grumpy Yuri is cuddling a very grumpy-looking cat. The caption reads: I found the cat version of me at the shelter today. #iknowisaidnomorecats #canyoublameme

Heather Says: And here, in the stupid cute category we have teenagers navigating love through social media. What’s more, there’s a companion fic.

7. flowers start to bloom in every different hue by orphan-account | Coraline | Coraline/Wybourn | 1k

Coraline grows up, gets a tattoo, and falls in love. In that order.

Heather Says: I read this fic on a slow day at work, often in quick bursts while I was waiting for the kitchen to finish my table’s food. It’s short. It’s sweet. It’s perfect. And honestly? It’s everything that I was looking for when I ventured into the Coraline tag on ao3 because I was curious.

8. Victory Conditions by @astolat | Transformers | Megatron/Optimus Prime | 37k

“Do you want me to tell you a story?” Megatron said mockingly. “You won’t like it, Prime. It’s not a very nice one.”

Heather Says: Fun fact, I’m not even in this fandom. I haven’t touched the Transformers fandom since the first movie came out in 2007 and I spent a very confusing week shipping a boy and his car. But Astolat has literally never lead me wrong, and I was having one of those bored days where nothing quite itches the right spot, so I sat down on the couch and spent two hours reading this. Worth it.

  9. just in it for the game by grim_lupine | Thor | Thor/Loki | 6k

“It's excellent rehabilitation for my image,” Loki says, widening his eyes. “They love you, and because of that they'll trust me. You wouldn't ruin this for me, would you?”

Thor glares at him.

Loki’s mouth twitches. “Also, it's the funniest thing that's ever happened to me.”

Heather Says: The Thor/Loki bug never really bit me until after Ragnorak came out. I mean, sure, I read it and it was good, but hella’s Frostiron fics basically destroyed me for any other Loki pairing. HOWEVER. Ragnorak happened and screwed that all the way up. Also, you know, this fic is absolutely lovely and was just what the doctor ordered.

10. so this guy walks into a bar by MasterOfAllImagination | Pacific Rim | Newt/Hermann | 2.5k

“Bourbon,” Hermann says, hooking his cane on the edge of the bar and sliding by degrees onto a stool.

“Straight up?” the bartender asks.

“Please.” Does he look like the kind of man who enjoys having his nostrils fumigated by undiluted whiskey? “On the rocks.”

Heather Says: I coped with Pacific Rim 2 by reading a couple AUs and a couple very, very long fics full of tragedy and math. Weirdly, the AU of a chance meeting in a bar was the one that stuck.

11. cherry pie by @brawlite & @toast-ranger-to-a-stranger | Stranger Things | Billy/Steve | 133k

Billy Hargrove lives for summer. Endless sunshine, heavily chlorinated pools, roaming ice cream trucks, and unencumbered freedom? There’s nothing better.

Even being stuck in Hawkins can’t ruin the summer for him. He eats it up, devouring every day whole.

Heather Says: Yeah, okay, but this is the fic that made summer worth it. Highly recommend reading at the pool or with your feet hanging off the back porch. Every piece of this fic was dripping in summertime nostalgia. It was fan-freaking-tastic.

12. the ghost and the good queen val by Wildehack (tyleet) | Thor | Thor/Valkyrie/Loki | 27k

“What,” she says, her heart racing, “was that.”

“What was what?” Korg asks, frowning up at her. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

Valkyrie squints suspiciously at the ship.

“Oh my god,” Korg says. “You did! You saw a ghost!”

Heather Says: So, remember how I coped with Pacific Rim 2 with copious AUs? This is how I coped with Infinity War.

13. For Better or Worse by DragonBandit  | The Bright Sessions | Mark/Damien | 22k

All Damien ever wanted was someone who wanted him. All Damien deserves is to die alone, stripped bare of any of the comforts or affections of humanity, a title he willingly shed.

Mark Bryant seems to be the Universe's compromise.

Wherein Damien and Mark are soulmates, and this changes enough.

Heather Says: I think I’ve read this one three or four time this year? It’s 22k of well-written fic for a fandom that has a max of like 100 fics all with lengths that tend to vary between a couple hundred words to 2 or 3k, max. This fic is the one that really catapulted me into the fandom. 

14. in waves by @lymricks | Stranger Things | Billy/Steve | 38k

It’s March and it’s too cold for Billy to be shirtless and wearing shorts, but he hadn’t noticed until Harrington appeared and made him hold still. Harrington can’t seem to stop looking at the bruises. “What’s it to you if I miss a little school, Harrington?” Billy asks. He feels goosebumps rising on his skin.

“I don’t know,” Harrington snaps back, looking uncomfortable. He shifts his weight from one foot to the other. Plant your feet, Billy wants to scream at him. I’m going to bowl you over.

Heather Says: And here we have the first fic that wasn’t written by either @toast-ranger-to-a-stranger or @brawlite that made me realize that this fandom was gonna be a good one. So fantastic.

15. the cure by aquaexplicit | The Flash | Cisco/Harry | 43k

“I guess I don’t really get what you need to fix? Harrison Wells is a hot, rich genius that pays you to make cool stuff with his daughter and is totally into you. If you guys boning is the biggest problem you have, I think this officially qualifies as your best relationship ever.”

When Barry puts it like that, everything sounds so simple and not at all as angst ridden as Cisco has been suffering the past few months.

Cisco hangs up on him.

Heather Says: I remember a couple years ago, I fell absolutely head over heels for this one Sterek fic where Derek had twin toddlers and Stiles was the hired babysitter. So I think there’s something about dad + babysitter fics that get me, even if this one in particular the ‘baby’ in question is a fifteen year old genius. Still. Dad + babysitter. I don’t even know, but apparently it works for me.

16. pull out the insides by SpineAndSpite | The Bright Sessions | Mark/Damien | 3k

“Stop,” Damien says again, more insistent this time.

“I’m not doing it on purpose.” Mark's heart pounds in his ears and he sees Damien’s hands shaking. God. They shouldn’t have started talking about sex. Shouldn’t have filled in the colors and shadows to this pencil outline of a sketch forming between them. They shouldn’t have given it a name.

Heather Says: This year seems to have had a theme when it comes to fics that I’ve liked and it seems to boil down to: people who are bad for each other have sex and catch feelings. Mark/Damien is not the healthiest ship. But it also hurts in this stupidly tragic way and hell if I didn’t fall head over heels for it.

17. tell me, get my shit together by paperclipbitch | Star Wars | Han/Lando | 5k

“I thought we were actively avoiding each other after the Trandosha Shitshow,” Han says.

“We’re actively avoiding each other after the Iridonia Shitshow,” Lando corrects him, “the Trandosha Shitshow is That Which We Do Not Speak Of.”

Heather Says: So, guess what I did in the two to three hours after seeing Solo? If you guessed: ‘combed through ao3 until you ran out of fic’ ding ding ding, you are 100% correct. This one was very, very good, which makes sense, because paperclipbitch has some good shit.

18. chases, escapes, true love, miracles by pepperfield | The Flash | Cisco/Harry 55k

Just because the timeline has been restored, doesn't mean things are back to normal. Cisco's got 99 problems, and Harry Wells is approximately 38 of them.

In which Cisco makes a bunch of plans, fails most of them, narrowly avoids being disintegrated, receives a hug or two, finds his groove, and gets his man. More or less in that order.

Heather Says: This one was long and wibbly wobbly, because it was basically what season 3 should have been. But it was also really great, and had some super quality Harrisco interactions.

19. Your Pretty Little Heart by Ever-so-reylo | Star Wars | Reylo | 64k

Modern day AU in which Ben is an Alpha, Rey is an Omega, and they are way better at having sex than at communicating with each other.

Heather Says: Speaking of people who are probably a little bit bad for each other... This particular fic was new to me, not because of the um, extensive sexual content, but because I’m usually not a fan of A/B/O. But this one was extremely good, enough that I actually liked it for a/b/o aspect rather than in spite of it.

20. Draconia by perceived_nobility | The Bright Sessions | Mark/Damien | 4k

"So I was driving. One ex wife and one ex husband later, stopping at the same fucking gas stations you and I stopped at."

Heather Says: This fic actually prompted a 3 hour long conversation on the ‘adult’ Mark/Damien discord where we basically outlined an entire fic that I never got around to writing where Damien is raising a child, has a farm, and runs into Mark ten years down the ride. One day, I might write it, because vaguely domestic, meet-again-ten-years-down-the-road fics always bowl me right the fuck over and just. There needs to be more fic like this one in the world. But until then, the world can marvel at the beauty that is this one.

21. Artifice by buttpatrol | Wolf 359 | Hera/Eiffel | 23k

A story told in parts about colour palettes, identity, robot uprisings, sensational trials, space, and messy love.

Heather Says: As I’ve recently finished relistening to Wolf 359 I have a fresh appreciation for this fic, which is one of the only longer fics on ao3 that just grips you by the heart and squeezes the same way that the series does. It might have been written before the end of the series, but it’s honestly just as perfect.

22. (shoot the lights out, hide) till its bright out by lipgallagher | Stranger Things | Billy/Steve | 93k

The most dangerous thing walking around Hawkins goes by the name Billy Hargrove.

And he fucking knows it.

Heather Says: I’m kind of cheating here, because this is a series rather than a single fic, but I’m not picking just one part. I read the first four or so parts of this fic when I was visiting my family in South Carolina and spent the next few days wandering around the place half-in Steve Harrington’s headspace. It was an incredibly surreal experience, which lead to a pretty strong combination of mania, depression, and an indescribable craving for ice cream. So like, maybe don’t read this fic if you’re in a bad head space? But also it’s very good and features one of the most fucked up and intriguing Steve’s that I’ve seen yet.

23. Until My Feet Bleed and My Heart Aches by Reiya | Yuri On Ice | Yuuri/Viktor | 197k

‘…Of all the rivalries in the world of sports over the years, perhaps none has become so legendary as that of Russian figure skater Viktor Nikiforov and his rival, Japanese Yuuri Katsuki…’

Heather Says: I actually read this one on the plane ride down to South Carolina, and kind of didn’t like it at first? I’m not sure if it was just the act of putting Yuuri and Victor into the position of rivals that made me uncomfortable or the goddamn delays that turned half a day of travelling into a full one, but eventually I was able to get into and enjoyed it quite a bit. I really like the rivals to lovers trope, so I’d been looking forward to this one a lot.

24. Traveling Far by @astolat | Game of Thrones | Jaime/Brienne | 24k

Three weeks into their delightful slog across Westeros, during yet another charming day of shitting in the woods, eating half-raw squirrel, and trudging his feet bloody, the single most dour and uninteresting woman Jaime had ever met in all of Westeros stopped in the middle of a field, drew a deep breath, and said, “When I was seven, my aunt came to visit with her son. My father told me that as the daughter of the house, it was my duty to show hospitality to my guests and to be gracious to them. I wanted to make him proud. So for three weeks, I let my cousin follow me around and talk to me about spiders.”

Heather Says: I’ve become very fond of astolat’s Jaime/Brienne fics, and I think this one is my favorite yet. Featuring Starks, found family, and a whole lot of walking.

25. lilies of the valley (cover me with kisses, make my garden grow) by diasterisms | Star Wars | Reylo | 8k

Every girl is entitled to the mistake. That one colossal fuck-up that permanently alters the terrain of who you are. You'll either learn from it or you won't, so might as well have the time of your life.

Heather Says: I just. I really like flower shop AUs, and the idea of a Kylo Ren who owns a sleek flower shop being menaced by a tiny gremlin in a leather jacket just. Kills me. It was really sweet and all kinds of wonderful.

[sassysnowperson]

Total Words Posted 2018: 269,752!

Total Works: 64 works in 3 fandoms (sorta, it was all Star Wars and then I wrote one crossover fic that was Not Star Wars At All and picked up the other two) with 40 different pairings.

As compared to last years: 253,511 words, 25 works, 3 fandoms, 8 different pairings.

Compare/Contrast between this year and the last: Roughly the same wordcount! SIGNIFICANTLY DIFFERENT pairing and work count! I remain Mostly Stuck in Star Wars Land. 

Major thing I learned this year: My range! This year I wrote fics from 500 words to over 50k, with wildly different genres, focuses, and narrative goals.  In this, I feel like I have to talk about Stone and Sand, my first novel-length fic that is actually one coherent story. Knowing I can do that was...huge, and it’s also the fic I’ve done some of the most worldbuilding on. It’s made me grow as a writer, and I’m tremendously chuffed by it. 

Also! I did my first exchange! Now that I’m more aware of exchange culture it’ll be interesting to see how that impacts things.

How I did on my Goals for Last Year: My goal was to write shorter pieces, and I DID! I wrote 27 works that were just around 500 words! I feel like I got better at distilling a scene.

Goals for the Coming Year: Go back to my ongoing series. I hope to update Bodhi Lives (I have...two stories I can tell before IX comes out and I need to figure out how much I’m going to stick to canon in the future universe). I also hope to work on a MASSIVE modern AU that I’ve been picking at, actually get that out into the universe. I’ve also discovered I really enjoy writing fic as gifts, so probably spacing out the longer series with shorter gift works. We shall see. 

Under the readmore is a round-up of the fics I wrote in 2018, divided by fandom, then series, and if they’re not in a series, by event, and if none of the above apply, by ship or main characters. 

l don’t have a good statistic to sum it up, but the widening and deepening of my fandom friendships has been a continuing joy. Thank you all for being a part of that!

If you’ve been reading my work, talk to me!

What’s been a favorite story? Most unexpected? What was the first thing of mine you read? What are you hoping I’ll write more of in 2019?

Note: Titles are links to the series and works.

Star Wars - New Series

Stone and Sand Verse (Bodhi and Luke’s relationship in a universe where both Bodhi and Jedha live, Bodhi/Luke - 69,410 words) 

Stone and Sand - (Bodhi/Luke) (52,318 words) - Bodhi goes back to Jedha, Luke tags along, a love story between two people and a place.  

Coming Flood - (Bodhi/Luke) (859 words) - Established Relationship fluff, with some political worldbuilding on the side. 

Different Deserts - (Luke & Rey) (15022 words) - Luke goes to Jakku to find a Sith artifact, and he finds a bit more than he expected. 

For Those that Read Stone and Sand - A meta for the series, explaining the setup I worked out for how the canon diverged, and some of Bodhi and Luke’s backstory.

Lyra Lives (An AU take on what would have happened if Lyra Erso had decided to stay with Jyn at the start of Rogue One - In Progress, 48,315 words at the end of 2018) 

Troublesome as Ever - (Jyn & Lyra Erso, Lyra Erso/Galen Erso) (17189 words) - A retelling of Rogue One, with an alive Lyra Erso. 

Traitors and Liars - (Galen Erso & Cassian Andor) (2515 words) - Galen and Cassian have a conversation about the whole ‘That one time I tried to kill you’ thing.

Critical Flaws - (Galen Erso/Lyra Erso/Bodhi Rook) (In progress - 28611 words as of the end of 2018) 

Modern Pilots (Poe/Luke as airline pilots, good friends, casual lovers, and maybe something more? - 22,396 words) 

Eight Hours to O’Hare - (Poe/Luke) (7335 words) - After eight solid hours of sass from his mouthy first officer, Captain Luke Skywalker takes Poe back to the hotel for a very thorough dressing-down. 

Six Hours to La Guardia - (Poe/Luke) (15061 words) - The prequel to the above, showing the first time Poe and Luke spent some time together. You can honestly read these in either order, but this was the order they were written in. 

Star Wars - Continuing Series (Started in Prior Years)

Merrick/Draven (Antoc Merrick, fighter pilot, and Davits Draven, spy, are fighting the same war in very different ways - 8,077 words in total) 

Who Pays the Cost - (Merrick/Daven & Cassian) (500 words) - Merrick, Draven, and the problem of child soldiers. (Seriously, good Lord Star Wars, there are so many child soldiers in your universe!) 

Time Enough for Mourning - (Merrick/Draven) (2191 words) - Sorrow, Joy, and what happens to Draven after Merrick meets his canonical fate during Rogue One. 

And in the Morning, Joy -  (Merrick/Draven) (1988 words) - I made myself sad so I had to go write a fix-it. Merrick, Draven, and what happens to them during ANH when Merrick does NOT meet his canonical fate. 

What We Know - (Merrick/Draven) (2352 words) - The spy and the flyboy consider life after war, and when exactly a war ends. 

Bodhi Lives Short Stories (technically two different series because I have DREAMS of expanding and discussing further, but I’m not there yet) 

Impending Demise - (Bodhi & K-2SO) (832 words) - Bodhi and Kay play chess. 

No Better Plans - (Bodhi & K-2SO) (497 words) - In another universe, Bodhi and Kay become pirates. This one has art because I fell in love with the image of Bodhi with gold and purple hair. 

Choices and Changes (My sprawling Modern AU, featuring cops turned nurses and gangsters turned cops, in 2018 I wrote some short stories to better fill in the universe) 

Impatience - (Bodhi/Cassian) (1742 words) - A lazy, suggestive morning in bed. There is no sex. This is the most overtly sexual thing I have written that does not actually include any sex. 

Friends and Lovers - (Bodhi/Cassian, Background Ahsoka/Padme) (6846 words) - Cassian tells Bodhi a story about what happened during their years apart.

Favorite Cover - (Bodhi/Cassian) (490 words) - Bodhi and Cassian make out in a closet...to maintain their cover, of course. 

Year after Year - (Ahsoka/Padme) (500 words) - I loved them so much I had to write their story too, framed through Christmases together. 

Star Wars: Events

February Ficlet Challenge - write a different pairing for every day in February!  (Note, where appropriate, I grouped the ficlets with their appropriate series, instead of here, though this link will take you to the entire series page)

Additional Note: Each of these ficlets is right about 500 words, so I will not be including a wordcount. 

Nightmare Scenario - (Luke/Bodhi) - No power, no heat, Luke and Bodhi stuck in the black. 

Good and Bright - (Cassian/Jyn) - Some nights, Cassian trusts Jyn to take control.

The Things You Miss - (Obi-Wan/Chirrut/Baze) - Masquerades are an interesting opportunity. 

Knock-Off Jedi - (Cassian/Luke) - They’re about the same height, and Cassian has cause to regret this. 

Strange Customs - (Kes/Shara) - What happens to an accidental marriage trope when the people are already married?

Kiss the Sky - (Antoc Merrick/Luke Skywalker) - Merrick, an innocent bystander, gets pulled into the younger pilot’s initiation rituals. 

Easy Mark - (Bodhi/Jyn) - Bodhi’s still not sure if Jyn likes him or just thinks he’s an easy mark. 

Pebble - (Lyra/Galen) - Superpowered / Fantasy AU, Krennic makes a play for Galen, and very much underestimates Lyra. 

Out of Turn - (Leia/Bodhi) - The Death Star is a horrible thing thing to share, but they share it.

Kitchenette - (Wedge/Mon) - They find their peace with each other. 

Gentle Grace - (Leia/Amilyn) - There’s not much room for softness in Leia’s life anymore. 

Where Did You Get A Ring? - (Wedge/Cassian) - A fake engagement makes for a pretty good cover. 

A Pilot First - (Wedge/Poe) - Wedge is a senator now, and there are precious few people in his life that see him as a pilot first. 

Explain This to Me - (Obi-Wan/Owen/Beru) - There’s a bleeding man on Beru’s couch, and she would really like to know why.  

A Fine Distraction - (Biggs/Bodhi) - After Scarif and the Battle of Yavin, Bodhi and Biggs carry similar scars. 

Newest Muse - (Cassian/Poe/Bodhi) - Artist!AU, Bodhi tries his best to steal C. Andor’s newest muse. 

Stranger while Slouching - (Wedge/Leia) - Wedge isn’t sure what Leia looks like when she’s actually relaxed. 

A Gentle Man - (Bail/Obi-Wan) - Their time together is a fiction, but it’s a fiction they both enjoy tremendously. 

To Better Memories - (Wedge/Bodhi) - They experienced the same Empire, very differently.  

Teeth Aren't Supposed to Ache - (Bodhi/Galen) - Bodhi gets the flu. 

Supposed to be Romantic - (Biggs/Luke) - Luke really doesn’t understand the concept of picnics. 

Mine to Claim - (Cassian/Leia) - Fairytale AU, The Princess is in the tower, but nobody is expecting the spy. 

Tell Me a Secret - (Wedge/Luke) - Wedge, Luke, and secrets shared through the years. 

Star Wars Rare Pairs Exchange - a gift exchange for lesser-written Star Wars Pairings, aka a two-month BLITZ of writing A LOT OF FIC (October and November).

A Body of Unanswered Questions - (Davits Draven/Mon Mothma) (770 words) - Mostly featuring Draven’s existential crisis, also featuring smut.

A Series of Better Decisions - (Padmé Amidala/Obi-Wan Kenobi/Anakin Skywalker) (9,211 words) - Revenge of the Sith is less tragedy and more comedy, because Anakin Skywalker is less evil and more of just…a disaster bisexual.

Beyond the Clouds - (Lando Calrissian/Biggs Darklighter/Luke Skywalker) (23277 words) - Luke and Lando are both reeling from the events of ESB, but are slowly building something with each other. The news that Biggs Darklighter, Luke’s childhood love, is alive is amazing news, but it does make their relationship more complicated. 

Bury Your Heart - (Leia Organa/Han Solo/Wedge Antilles) (9051 words) - Leia’s heart is torn between her duty and her love, and agrees to an arranged marriage for the sake of Alderaan’s survivors. To her surprise, her old friend Wedge Antilles is on the list of acceptable candidates.

Decent Organics - (Cassian Andor/K-2SO, Lando Calrissian/L3-37) (2541 words) - Snarky droids, and the organics that love them. L3-37 is trying to get under Cassian’s skin, and Cassian enjoys it tremendously.  

Hang With You for a Minute - (Bodhi Rook/Luke Skywalker) (3883 words) - Bodhi is trying to get away from a clingy ex-boyfriend, and asks a random adorable blond for help.

Heat Heals - (Finn/Luke Skywalker) (2002 words) - Two kind people find a bit of comfort in each other, and also discuss the cultural construction of the idea of attraction. 

Reckless Idiot - (Wedge Antilles/Tycho Celchu) (1530 words) - Semi-Public sex with some Power Dynamics…and also a lot of emotions about pilot lifespans and the worthwhile but difficult reality of love during wartime.

The Survivor - (Cassian Andor/Shara Bey/Kes Dameron) (13,667 words) -  Shara Bey drags Cassian off of Scarif, much to his chagrin. And then she and Kes decide to look after Cassian, as they don’t trust him to look after himself. 

Waystation - (Poe Dameron/Bodhi Rook) (12,763 words) - Pre-TFA, Poe Dameron’s ship gets…a little bit damaged, and he has to pull into a space station. The mechanic there has a familiar name. It’s on the tip of his tongue. Maybe something out of the stories Mama told him - daring heroes up against impossible odds.

Star Wars - Standalone Fics By Pairing

Bodhi/Wedge

Not Too Much - (4625 words) - Wedge is convinced that he is probably not the best person to be in a relationship with. 

 Future on the Other Side - (1084 Words) - After Endor, Bodhi and Wedge find each other. 

Bodhi/Luke

Kissing Strangers - (1662 words) - Modern AU, Luke regrets helping Leia with her art project.

Good Books and Goodbyes - (807 words) - Reading is distracting, much to Bodhi’s amusement. 

Bodhi/Cassian

Force of Nature - (241 words) - Cassian was a force of nature when he kissed.

Bail/Breha/Obi-Wan

Wisdom of the Queen - (1123 words) - Breha decides to spend the day in bed.

Bodhi/Jyn

Alone and Otherwise - (3201 words) - Jyn isn’t sure how to let anyone in, anymore. 

Luke/Wedge

Marriage, and Other Unorthodox Solutions - (29,541 words) - Luke is ready to give up on the college of his dreams, because his aunt and uncle couldn’t afford tuition. Wedge has a different, slightly unorthodox, solution...

Bodhi/Han

Sit Down and Buckle Up - (2538 words) - When Han Solo finds himself hit over the head with a blackjack he's got no choice but to turn the piloting of his precious Falcon over to one Bodhi Rook. Bodhi, it turns out, is a very good pilot. Han, it turns out, is really into that.

Gen/Humor Fics

The Glorious Ascension of Emperor Solo - (2170 words) - Han Solo agrees to use the Falcon as prisoner transport, and everything goes horribly wrong...or right, depending on your point of view.

The Definitive Guide to Galactic Wildlife - (1345 words) - K-2SO, who is Clearly an Expert on Organic Creatures, provides the definitive guide to wildlife in the Galaxy Far Far Away.

Shout out to My ONE AND ONLY Non-Star Wars Fic!

Diana Prince (Wonder Woman) / Evey Carnahan (The Mummy)

Set and Osiris - (3313 words) - Evy Carnahan and Diana Prince meet in an abandoned Egyptian temple. It is most unexpected.

OH MY GOODNESS THAT WAS SO MANY LINKS. My hands ache. My eyes are blurry. 

If you actually read this far, know that I appreciate you, so much, and wish you all the best. *blows kisses* 

[bubblemoon66]

Doesn’t She Know (It’s the End of the World)

Fandom: Skulduggery Pleasant Rating: T Warnings: Major Character Death Pairing: Valkyrie Cain/Skulduggery Pleasant Genre: Angst, Suspense Wordcount: 3715 Summary: According to the clock on the Bentley's dashboard, it was 06:23. About 37 minutes before the world had been scheduled to end. Notes: Written for the Skulduggery Pleasant Fic Exchange 2018. Based on a prompt by @edwardssallow Title inspired by the Skeeter Davis song.

You can also read this fanfiction on AO3, FF.net and Wattpad.

It was a clear, crisp spring morning. All blue skies, not a wisp of cloud in sight.  And the promise of a sunny afternoon to follow, if the meteorologists were right and the sensitives were wrong.

According to the clock on the Bentley's dashboard, it was 06:23. About 37 minutes before the world had been scheduled to end. 

Valkyrie Cain was worried, but not as worried as most people would be under the circumstances. Her life so far had been one series of apocalyptic disasters after another. She hadn't grown used to them exactly, Armageddon wasn't something you could get used to, but she had learnt to deal with them in her own way. Denial, mostly. With a dash of fatalistic humour and a superiority complex thrown in for good measure. The way Valkyrie saw it she could either accept that the world was going to an end on her watch or not. And life was much much easier to bear when she chose the second option.

The Bentley, Valkyrie and Skulduggery Pleasant were currently speeding through the Tipperary countryside. It would have made for a nice drive had they not been going twice the speed limit around a hairpin bend in a rural lane. Unfortunately, that's what they were doing. Valkyrie's stomach twisted as they whipped around another corner. Overgrown hedges scraped the car's bodywork. Tires screeched. There was a smell of burning rubber and hot metal. 

There was tension in the car, but nobody wanted to acknowledge it. Is was there though, regardless of what they wanted. It was in the set of Skulduggery's jaw and the pit of Valkyrie's stomach. It was in the space between them, displayed on the dashboard in fluorescent red light. 

06:24. 06:25. 06:26. 

"I don't suppose there's time to stop for a coffee?" Valkyrie asked lightly, once the tension had become too much, even for them.  Of course, she knew there wasn't time. They both knew, but that wasn't the point. 

"After," said Skulduggery, in a tone as light and fake as her own.  "I'll take you to that cafe by the river. And we can sit and talk under the awnings while you sip one of those overpriced frothy concoctions you've developed an obsession with."

"It's called a caffelatte and you know it. You've bought me enough of them. And it's too cold to sit outside."  

 "It'll warm up. The day's only just beginning."

 06:27. 06:28. 06:29.

The alarm clock in her parent's bedroom would be going off any second now. If she closed her eyes, she could hear its shrill shriek. She wondered if she should phone them, but dismissed the idea almost immediately. A call this early in the morning would only worry them. And they worried about her enough as it was. 

"How close are we?" Valkyrie asked.

"Eight miles,"

"Do you think they have a coffee machine there?"

"Do you think of anything besides where to get your next caffeine fix?"

"Not in the AM," was her reply. She stole another glance at the clock.  06:30. Thirty minutes to go. "It's kind of inconsiderate scheduling an apocalypse for seven in the morning." 

"Genocidal maniacs aren't exactly known for their consideration," 

"If I was planning the end of the world, I think I'd leave time for a lie in and a full Irish breakfast." 

"Not everyone has your vision, dear."

06:31. 06:32. Seven miles. Six miles.

"They must have a coffee machine. Or at least a kettle. I mean, I just can't see anyone destroying the world before their morning cuppa. Unless they're destroying it because they don't have their morning cuppa, I guess I could understand that."

 Skulduggery tilted his head, in that way of his when he was amused.  Good. That had been her intention. 

"If you're desperate for caffeine there's chocolate in the glove compartment,"

Valkyrie checked. There was chocolate in the glove compartment. A pack of four full-sized mars bars to be precise, her favourite.

"You spoil me," she said. 

"I know,"

Valkyrie closed the door to the compartment without touching the chocolate. Nerves wracked her insides and made the concept of eating anything impossible. 

"Not hungry?" Skulduggery asked gently. He must have known how she was feeling, but that wasn't the point of his question. 

"I stopped eating chocolate for breakfast. Unless it's inside of a pastry or drizzled over waffles." 

"Since when?" 

"Since I hit thirty," 

"I saw you eat an entire box of chocolate dipped strawberries in bed Valentines day morning." 

"Doesn't count. The fruit negates the chocolate. It's practically diet food."

Skulduggery laughed. "You know, I would love to live in a world governed by your logic. Just for a day, to see what it's like."

A small smile crept across Valkyrie's lips, "That would be fun."

06:34. 06:35. Five miles. Four miles. 

In the distance, she spotted the water tower on the hillside. It was tall, built from ancient grey stones eaten away by time. 

The smile fell from her face, "We're nearly there."

Figures stood guard around the base of the tower. At this distance, they looked human. But she knew from the sensitives' reports they were nothing more than empty shells reanimated with hot air and magic. Hollow Men. Unpleasant to deal with, but not the worst thing they had faced, not by a longshot. 

06:35. 06:37. The tower loomed closer. 

Her family would be sitting down to breakfast around now, still in their pyjamas. Alice would be on her phone no doubt, texting one of her friends to arrange a meetup before college. Her mother would be in the middle of buttering a round of toast. While her father fiddled with the radio antenna until someone reminded him that he had to turn it on at the wall before it would relay them the morning news.  

06:38. 06:39. The Bentley raced up the dirt tracks scored into the hillside. Mud flew through the air. The engine roared. Hollow Men turned to look at them; their movements, clumsy and slow.

"Ready?" Skulduggery asked.

"Always," she said. 

They flung the car doors open in sync. Fire and white lightning flying from their hands. The hillside lit up like a Christmas tree aflame. Heat and light consumed the leathery skins, igniting the gas inside with a pop. 

It took them a minute, or perhaps two, to clear the ground between the car and the base of the tower. 

There was a door, made from solid oak and cast iron. As ancient as the stone walls, but far steadier looking. There were sigils carved into the wood. She couldn't read them, but she could guess they were there to keep out intruders. 

"Can we deactivate these?" she asked. 

Skulduggery traced the pattern of a sigil with a gloved fingertip, then shook his head. "Not in time. We're going to have to go through the walls." 

She nodded. 

He wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her close. Valkyrie closed her eyes. There was a rumble. They melted through the stone together. It was cold and rough. Her skin felt raw like she had been caught in the path of a sandblaster. It was an impressive piece of earth-magic, even if it was unpleasant. 

A moment later, they stumbled out of the wall.

Valkyrie opened her eyes. She wasn't sure what the inside of a water tower was supposed to look like, but she suspected it wasn't this.

"Woah," she said. 

"Woah, indeed,"

"I know we're a bit short on time, but do you mind if I take a moment to state the obvious?"

"Go ahead,"

"It's bigger on the inside,"

"I know. I can see that,"

Valkyrie took a deep breath. Taking in the impossibility of it all. The corrugated metal beams supporting the high ceilings, the fluorescent tube lighting stretching down long corridors, the steel grates fixed to every couple of metres - all of it the wrong shape and size to fit inside the tower. She took it all in. And then exhaled.

"We're going to have split up, aren't we?" 

Skulduggery glanced at the watch on his wrist, a 440th birthday present from her. "I'm afraid so." 

"You take the corridor on the left. I'll take the right."

He nodded. "Call me the second you find anything," he said, before shooting off down the left-hand corridor, propelled by the air and magic. 

Valkyrie ran. Boots pounded against the metal floor, echoing like thunder. Her heart hammered against her ribcage, blood roaring.

She ran and ran and ran. The corridor seemed to go on forever. Beam after beam after beam. Vent after vent after the vent. 

Later, when all this was over, she would take time to marvel over it. Maybe she'd even take her family on a day trip up here. Her dad would appreciate the weird sci-fi-ness of it all. Her mum would just be glad that Valkyrie wasn't shutting them out from her life again.

Valkyrie's legs began to ache. Her lungs burned. She was slowing. How far had she run? How much longer did this corridor go on for? How much time did they have left? Why the hell hadn't she passed any doors? What was the point of a corridor if it didn't lead anywhere?  

Valkyrie stopped running. 

There wasn't a point. That was the point.   

She ran her fingers over the corrugated walls. They were cool and rough to the touch. It felt solid. It felt real. She knelt down to inspect one of the grates. It was too dark to see what underneath. She took a few steps forwards and inspected the next grate. And then next. They were identical, down to every last nut and bolt. The way she had come looked identical to the way she was going. And she now, she realised, she was going nowhere. 

Her phone rang. She answered. 

"Have you noticed anything odd about this place?" Skulduggery asked through the receiver. 

"It's not real,"  she said. 

"Yes, I noticed that too. It's a bit of a problem."

"Any idea of how we get out of the weird magic-simulation-thing?"

"None, at all. You?"

"Nope,"

They stood there in silence. Painfully aware of the seconds ticking by. 

"Maybe we could try hitting it really really hard," suggested Valkyrie. "That's worked for us in the past."

"I suppose it's worth a shot," There was a muffled metallic clang from the other end of the receiver. "I don't think it worked."

"Damn,"

"Could you use your aura-vision to see what's going on?"

Valkyrie considered, "I could try."

Doubt plagued her mind, but she ignored it; screwed her eyes shut and concentrated. When she opened her eyes the scene had changed. She saw two worlds overlapping. Another impossibility she couldn't understand. She didn't have time to understand. Later, she'd think about it later.

The reality that she had been experiencing glowed in a nauseating shade of green. Somewhere behind it were stone walls and an ancient door in pale yellow. And in a beautiful vibrant red, was the outline of a man, stood maybe four metres to her left. 

 "I can see you," she said, rather breathlessly into the receiver. 

"Can you reach me?"

"I think so. Hang on."

She put the phone back in her pocket and took a tentative step through the two realities nestling on top of one another. Her stomach somersaulted and bile rose up in her throat. When nothing worse happened, she took another step and another. Until she back where she belonged, by Skulduggery's side. And he was holding her like a drowning man. 

"I think I might be sick," she said, as the world which may or may not have existed spun. 

"Please don't be. I don't want to save the world covered in vomit. Can you see a way out of here?"

"There's a door. The one we couldn't get through earlier."

"Anything else?"

Valkyrie looked around. "There's a maintenance ladder fixed to one of the walls. The tower walls. Not the ones you can see. It's about ten steps in front of us, directly across from the door."

"Can you take me to it?"

She nodded, taking his hand. They moved through time and space together. 

Valkyrie did not know exactly what Skulduggery saw when they moved. She liked to think it was something really impressive. Like her melting through a steel wall, hair billowing behind her like it did in the movies. 

As soon as she touched the ladder, Valkyrie's normal vision snapped back into place. The world came with it. They were stood now, in a room that made sense. Next to a rusted ladder fastened to crumbling stone. 

Valkyrie knees buckled.

"Steady," said Skulduggery, catching her. "Are you okay?"

"Fine. Just need a minute."

"I'm not sure we have another minute to spare."

Hands shaking, Valkyrie took the phone out of her pocket. 06:55. Shit. 

"We need to go up," she said. "Now."

A familiar arm snaked around her waist. "Hold on."

She held on. They hurtled upwards, as fast as a bullet. There was a hole in the ceiling where the ladder was, they shot through it. 

The upper part of the tower was wider than the base. It was just as ramshackle, but gloomier. The light from the high windows barely reaching the floor. Skulduggery set them down. He clicked his fingers and a flame appeared. 

A man lunged. He through a stream of energy at Skulduggery, who dodged, the bolt missing them by a hairbreadth. The wall behind them exploded into a cloud of mortar. The man crashed into Valkyrie. He dragged her to the floor. Legs straddling her waist. His hands started to glow again, lighting up with power. She kneed him in the groin and rolled. They landed in a shaft of light, coming from the newly made hole in the wall. She was on top now, forcing him to the floor, pinning his arms above his head with one arm, so he couldn't aim. 

"Where's the doomsday clock, Eschat?"

Eschat grinned. A feral thing. Broken yellowed teeth and rotting gums. "Not telling," he sang in a shrill voice. 

Valkyrie punched him in the face. Fist shattering cartilage. Blood trickled from his broken nose. 

"Still not telling," he said. Then he started giggling. 

 It wasn't right for a grown man to giggle like that, thought Valkyrie. Especially an old man with rotten teeth, uncut nails and long matted hair. It was just asking for trouble. 

She punched him in the face again. He spat out blood this time. 

"Eschat," she growled. "You know who we are. You know what we do. And you know what we'll do to you if you don't tell us where the clock is right now."

"Doesn't matter," he sang. "Doesn't matter. We're all going to die in a minute anyway."

Valkyrie spared a glance at Skulduggery. He was moving quickly around the room. Darting from wall to wall. Searching through the rubble of the wall.

"Have you found anything?" she called. 

"No. Not yet," he said, back towards them. 

"Keep looking. It's here. It has to be."

"You'll never find it," said Eschat. 

Skulduggery paused and turned to look at them, "Try his pocket."

The shit-eating grin faded from Eschat's face. 

Valkyrie rummaged through his clothing. It wasn't an easy thing to do, not when you were trying to pin someone's arms to the floor. She tried his jacket first and found nothing but gum wrappers in the outer pockets. She moved to the inner pockets. Nothing in the right one. But there, in the left - her hand closed around a small metal object. A pocket watch. She could feel the patterns engraved into the casing, could feel their power. 

 "Got it," she said, wriggling it free, pulling it towards her. 

That was when Eschat struck. Freeing one of his still-glowing arms, he went for her head.  She had to throw herself off him to avoid having her face melted off.  The shot went wild, blowing a hole in the ceiling. The watch went flying from her grasp. Dust and chunks of stone rained down on them. Blinding her. Covering Skulduggery. 

"Shit!" she gasped before her lungs seized up. She coughed violently, uncontrollably as mortar filled them. 

 Eschat was throwing more streams of energy. The movements were wild, erratic. If he had been aiming, it might have been easier to dodge. But he wasn't, he was throwing blindly. Tearing down the building one blast at a time. 

Valkyrie scrambled to her hands and knees, still coughing. Sifting desperately through the rubble. 

Shit. Shit. Shit. 

Skulduggery burst through a cloud of dust, hands ignited. He crashed into Eschat and the two went flying to the other side of the room. 

More streams of energy flew through the air. The floor in front of her exploded. She clambered back, scrabbling across the stone before it crumbled away. Blood trickled from a dozen cuts where debris had hit her. She didn't have the time to care.

Keep moving.  Keep moving. Keep moving.  

Her hand brushed something cold, metallic. Relief struck Valkyrie like a train. She grabbed the watch, flicked open the case. 

15 seconds. 

She realised that she no idea how to stop it. 

10 seconds. 

The sense of relief was torn from her. It couldn't end like this. She needed-

5 seconds. 

An idea. Her only shot. 

Valkyrie dropped the watch, balled up her first, and brought it down. Hard. 

Three things happened as the clock struck seven. Firstly, the pocket watch alarm went off. Secondly, Valkyrie's fist connected with the metal casing. And finally, Eschat Imera let loose a final stream of energy that brought the tower crashing down. 

Valkyrie's world collapsed. There was a boom. Stone rained down. Blue skies rushed by. The ground quickly approaching. Her hand reached for something to grab, tightening around the only thing it could - the remains of the pocket watch - as she fell. 

Valkyrie never hit the ground. She slammed into one of the ladder rails. The rusted metal had been bent and snapped in half as the tower collapsed, leaving a sharp point at one end. That edge was what stopped her. It slammed into her back piercing the skin; piercing the tissue and the muscles. Rail emerging bloodied and sinew covered from her chest. 

"Oh," was all she could think of to say as she hung there suspended in the air. Weightless for a moment, before the metal gave way and she fell again. 

Skulduggery caught her this time. Grabbing her arm, pulling her close. Her shoulder had to be dislocated after a grab like that, but it didn't hurt. 

They floated gently to the ground, light as a feather. She buried her head in Skulduggery's shirt. They touched the earth. Her legs buckled, only Skulduggery's arm around her waist kept her upright.

"Valkyrie," he said. "I'm sorry."

She looked up at him and then down at her chest; saw the way the bloodied metal had skewered her and knew she was going to die. 

 She pressed the watch into Skulduggery's gloved hand. "Did we win?"

Skulduggery didn't say anything. He took the watch. Looked at it and dropped in the dirt. His expression unreadable. 

"Tell me this wasn't in vain," she said. 

"It wasn't in vain,"

"I saved the world?"

"A hundred times over,"

She sighed, "It's not as painful as I thought it would be."

"You're in shock,"

Skulduggery set on her on the ground. Gently. Gently. He knelt next to her, placing her head in his lap. She reached up to stroke his cheekbone. The movement was more difficult than she had anticipated. Her arm felt heavy, clumsy. Like it no longer belonged to her. 

 "Do you want to call your parents?" Skulduggery asked. 

"No," she whispered, letting her arm fall. "It'll only make them sad. I just want to talk to you."

"What do you want to talk about?"

"We could start with how much you love me,"

"You already know how much I love you. You don't need me to tell you."

She smiled faintly. "Then tell me something I don't know."

"I used to breed wolfhounds,"

"Did you really?"

"Of course, it's not something I'd lie about,"

"Did you have a favourite?"

"Ol. Great big brute, but soft as butter. He liked to sit on my feet everytime I stood still for more than a second."

"You used to complain when Xena did that,"

"Only to wind you up,"

Valkyrie's vision was beginning to fade. The edges were growing darker. She closed her eyes. Breathed in as deeply as she could. 

"Can you hear that?" she asked. 

"Hear what?"

"That ticking noise,"

"I can't hear any ticking noise,"

Valkyrie opened her eyes again. She struggled to turn her head towards the sound. Her eyes fell on the small silver disk lying in the dirt. 

"It's coming from the pocket watch,"

Skulduggery tilted her chin back towards him.  "You're imaging things, dearest."

She stared up into empty eyesockets. "Are you lying to me?"

"It's not something I'd lie about," he repeated. 

Valkyrie closed her eyes again. 

"Stay with me," he said. "For just a little longer."

"Until the end?" she murmured.

Skulduggery didn't say anything. He moved, shifting her weight slightly. There was a pressure on her mouth. Teeth pressing against lips. Bone meeting flesh. Neither too hard or too soft, but over too quickly. 

"I wish you'd kissed me sooner," she breathed.

"And I wish we stopped for coffee," he said. "And sat under the awnings and talked."

"Don't be daft. It's too cold."

"It's not that cold out."

"I'm cold."

He kissed her again. She felt like they were back in the sky, drifting, weightless. She wished this moment could have lasted forever, but it couldn't.

"Will you be okay?" she asked. Only able to speak in the faintest whisper now.

"I'll be fine."

Now she knew he was lying. She opened her mouth, tried to speak. Tried to tell him as much. 

The earth trembled. With a great effort, Valkyrie willed her eyes back open. Skulduggery looked back at her. There was a flash of white light.  And then, there was nothing.   

[fleetofshippyships-archive]

WIP tag meme

aaah, I was tagged over 2 months ago by @parkkate O.O sorry for not doing this sooner @parkkate​ XD I’ve been offline for a few months! Just now catching up on everything I missed! but I’m ignoring asks for now because my inbox is a mess

The Rules: Post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous.

I’m gonna cheat and only do this for my drarry wips, since I post everything else on another account now, and tbh I have so many drarrys it’s still gonna be a long ass post XD

Oh man *sweats nervously* I’m a bit of a hoarder in all aspects of my life...I don’t even know where to begin! 

I’m not tagging anyone cos I was tagged 2 months ago and I have no idea who has and hasn’t done this and don’t want to be a pain. But if you wanna do it, go a head, and please tag me so I can be nosy and hopefully find someone with a wip problem as bad as my own so I can be less embarrassed XD

Also I’m putting this under a cut for reasons

1. 4th year au idea 

Sooooo, right off the bat, I often open a new file to jot down an idea even though I have docs specifically to dump ideas...and then at some point during the process of jotting down basic details of the idea...I start writing it....? This is one such occurrence...but I had to open it to check...and now I want to keep writing it XD

But also yikes it’s super dark

2. ... 4th year au idea

I swear, this is an entirely different wip and I am going ‘wtf’ at myself because wtf that’s confusing! I had also totally forgotten the existence of this before opening it....probably because of the name of it and the only reason I apparently have 2 files the exact same name is that one is a word doc and one is a libre office doc XD

3. drarry character death idea

Soooo, I need to stop turning idea files into wips without changing the names because I actually forget they are wips apparently

Also, I really want to finish this RIGHT NOW IT HURTS SO GOOD GIMME GIMME GIMME

4. Veela fic followup

LOL LOL LOL I’m rewriting my veela fic so I don’t know what the fuck I’m going to end up doing with this XD I might have to try and merge it with the re-write if the story has a similar outcome when I’m done. or maybe I’ll just turn this into its own thing....

5. Veela fic present tense

I really need to get back to working on this, this is actually the full re-write that re-doing the tenses spawned...I was binge writing this before my life went to hell but then my life went to hell and I went offline for like three months and didn’t do any writing or anything XD

although, the last time I looked at it I got the itch to change it back to past tense so who fucking knows what I’ll do with it now

6. Veela fic Draco pov

Curse my obsession with alternate povs of the same story and Draco for being such a good angsty pov

7. Veritaserum idea start

At least this one has ‘start’ in it so I know it is in fact a wip and not just an idea outline XD

7. Veritaserum

So, turns out I started that fic over in a new file and just left the old one lying around XD I do that too often. I should delete that other one...

Also...this better not turn into another ‘Amortentia’ with me unable to think of a fucking title and going with the file name because lame

This is also my first time trying to do god’s eye 3rd person instead of 3rd person pov...also first time trying to do this weird structure thing...I dunno but I like it XD

8.  CTS followup

9. CTS sequel

Two separate followups set at different times in the same story verse... I hate myself. I love them both. I can’t pick which one to stop writing so I’m gonna keep them both around and try and make them merge at some point...

10. MMB saying sorry

11. another erase the shame

12. next erase the shame

I work on followups and lose interest so often (usually because people bug me for followups and I get very ‘fuck you’ about it and stop writing them...but I keep them around and tinker with them every now and then soooo they’re still technically wips

13. Tea and Coffee oneshot series (Tea and Coffee, Coffee and Dark Marks, The Cottage Kitchen, next untitled one)

There’s also a present tense version of the first one of those *sweats nervously* first 3 are finished, of course, but my original purpose is lost to them becoming a long fic soo....gonna merge them into one long fic soon...once I decide what tense I like better......kill me now

14. Communion of the Soul (folder name)

This is the sequel to One Touch and this is spread across 5 files because apparently I did that and even though each time I got to work on it I have to figure out which file holds which part of the sequel timeline and which I feel like working on...I have yet to merge them into one file to make my life easier...

15. Crumbling Facade

ugh working on this always makes me want to re-write restraint and actually put in the major plot line, or what was supposed to be Harry’s major plot line before the relationship crap got away from me and I had to cut out all the plot stuff because by the time I got around to addressing it, it started reading like a completely different fic and I had to cut a huge chunk and end it instead, because back then I sucked more than I do now and couldn’t juggle

sooo...I still work on this in starts and stops and then get frustrated for having to stick to Restraint’s chain of events when I have better ideas now for working in Harry’s plot about his damn magic problem and ARRGEHGEHGFVEDHDBVUIOFNBFKDB EFBVJ

I should just let Crumbling Facade take me where it wants to take me and fuck Restraint

16. Potter’s Insatiable Heart

This is my longest wip at 130k XD and I’m stalling now because if I keep going with it where I was intending to go it will end up my longest fic and I’m getting intimidated by the length and how much work it will be to edit that long of a fic so I just go in and write a few paragraphs now and again, get scared of the length and move on to another wip XD

I also periodically binge read this bitch because I love it to death even though it’s severely flawed XD

17. Corset Drarry

oh boy, when I started writing this this I was weirded out by writing a kink I didn’t understand and kind of tailed off and left it...then I did kinktober for voltron and now I’m laughing at myself because corsets and lingerie is so fucking tame after that kinktober list and all the the crap I wrote for it XD

18. Music in the Periphery

Emily bugs me about finishing this a lot...I bug me about finishing it, progress is non-existent because I have a clear plan for it and when I have a clear plan I can’t write for shit

19. Saying Sorry (Round 2) (MMB)

I gotta kick that habit of starting over with something but keeping the first attempt and still working on it parallel to the second attempt, because then I wind up with 2 fics too similar to each other to post both and I’m completely unable to pick which one I like more *facepalm*

Also, MMB is dead if I can’t stop turning the next fic attempts into angst, I just look at that big fluffy mess and want to angst it all up

20. scrapped MMB ficlets - theo’s letter

not technically drarry thought the greater series is drarry...torn between making it mmb or making it its own fic for a rare pair

21. Weather the Storm

*cries* my 6th year war au, I have such plans for this, but the plans get in the way of writing =(

22. Soulmate AU (folder name)

fucking hell, this is 10+ files and I’m not naming all of them, current count is 5 completed versions 60k+ each, 1 incomplete alternate version, all of which I’m seriously unsatisfied with, none of which I can bear to delete, all of which I periodically go and tinker with, thus leaving them all wips i’m such a fucking hoarder but also I have never gotten over all the awful comments that were on the original soulmate fic on ffnet before my purge and now I can’t ever be satisfied unless it is perfect and wont result in such horrible comments again

23. Turnabout (folder name)

Once again, multiple wips in here of the same 60k finished fic I’ve been unhappy with since the moment I finished it and keep trying to fix by starting over and changing things here and there to change the course of the story. Honestly ready to hit the delete button with this one unless my latest attempt pans out, liking it so far buuuut I’m a mess about my writing so who knows

In the Ways that Matter was based off this fic XD

24. Dependency 

Oh boy, I abandoned this cos it was so dark I got too uncomfortable writing it...I’ve since started revisiting it after being in the Voltron fandom gave me a new tolerance range for dark content XD

Plan on posting this on anon if I ever finish it, obviously changing the title XD it stopped being relevant after the first 30k anyway 

25. Dependency V2

LOL light version of the above that removes most of the dark aspects while maintaining the core plot, but I’m finding it a bit dull XD not sure how long I’ll keep trying to chug along with it

26. *censored title*

hahahaha omg why is this in a different subfolder, this is actually one of the soulmate au ones only it’s actually a spin off au of the original soulmate one I from ffnet and therefore it’s new ground and I’m less unhappy with it

.....I’m probably going to stop working on turnabout today and work on this instead now

(censoring the name because I might post this on anon because I’m too scared to post another drarry soulmate fic under my own name)

27. Retrospection

Sooo, I’m always on and off this fic cos it triggers my anxiety and depression, but fuck that I want to write it so I keep trying XD

I’m also thinking of splitting the two main plots and only going with 1 and using the other to write another story....see if that eases how difficult it is for me to write without self triggering

28. Sequel to mornings

29. Sunrise (loose prequel to mornings)

30. Surrender

I had no idea what this was, opened it and then holy shit THIS BITCH, THIS SLOW BURN FRIENDS TO LOVERS PIECE OF BULLSHIT. I DON’T WRITE SLOW BURN! I DON’T WRITE FRIENDS TO LOVERS. I REFUSE.

but also I really really really love what I wrote so far and now I’m itching to write more *cries* making this list is leaving me with so many open files to work on

31. day 2 ass worship

32. day 3 sensory deprivation

*laughs nervously* the kinktober oneshots that starting turning into a long fic hahahaha cos I really needed more wips

33. Perception of Angels

*wistful sigh* one day I will be able to finish a heavily plot driven story full of fantasy elements and creatures and magic I made up, and when that day somes, Perception of Angels....or that timetravel war au drarry fic idea I have sitting around.....which isn’t on this list only cos I’m not stupid enough to start writing it

So that’s all the drarry files in my wip folder.... I also have heaps more for other ships and fandoms, but I’m keeping that separate =)

And...now I have some writing to go do, cos after 2 months of being unable to write thanks to the bullshit in my life, I started binge writing again 2 days ago =) and opening a few of these to remind myself what they were has a lit a fire under my ass